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"In your 20s you’re worried about what everyone thinks of you. In your 30s you make it a point to not care what anyone thinks of you. In your 40s you realize that no one was thinking about you anyway." | Showerthoughts |
"Because spiders molt, every time you think you see a dead spider you might be looking at the skin of a live spider that is now larger than it was before." | Showerthoughts |
"If two stutterers meet, there is a big chance of one of them thinking that the other is making fun of them." | Showerthoughts |
"People who drink and claim to be drunk are never as drunk as the people who drink and claim to be sober" | Showerthoughts |
"One of the biggest scams in life was your mom saying she won't get angry if you say the truth" | Showerthoughts |
"It's better to wake up from a bad dream and realise it was all in your head than a good dream and realise none of it really happened." | Showerthoughts |
"If The Little Mermaid was remade or written for a modern audience, Ariel’s collection of treasure would not be framed as cute or quirky but probably as an environmental PSA for how much trash we toss in the ocean." | Showerthoughts |
"100 years ago, we made the roads smoother so people could travel quicker. Now, we have to add bumps so people travel slower." | Showerthoughts |
"Vampires in today's world would see themselves in modern mirrors, as they are backed with aluminum. Older mirrors were backed with silver, a "pure" metal, which is why it was thought they couldn't see their reflections." | Showerthoughts |
"Mufasa is the quintessential father figure. Darth Vader is the quintessential anti-father figure. Both were voiced by James Earl Jones." | Showerthoughts |
"Drinking water with a minty mouth is the cold version of spicy" | Showerthoughts |
"A microwave oven is an impractical, but effective, metal detector." | Showerthoughts |
"There's a scene in Forest Gump showing that he made a ton of money from Apple stock purchased in the 70s. When we saw that scene in 1994 we all thought " too bad we missed the boat on that one"." | Showerthoughts |
"Maybe we associate tall people with a sense of authority because when we're kids all the authorities are much taller than we are" | Showerthoughts |
"Waking up and getting up are two entirely different negotiations." | Showerthoughts |
"The phrase "Look at you!" tends to have a positive connotation, while "Look at yourself!" tends to be critical and negative." | Showerthoughts |
"Axes are tree cyborgs created by humans to destroy other trees" | Showerthoughts |
"Our world may be much worse than we realize, since people 3,000 years ago thought their world was "normal" despite it being full of medical, social, and psychological problems that we recognize today. People in the future may think of us as morally inconsistent, technology-obsessed workaholics." | Showerthoughts |
"Up until seventy years ago, no one in the history of humanity had ever sat up in the middle of the night and said, "What's that beeping sound?"" | Showerthoughts |
"The pencil to eraser ratio is really too optimistic" | Showerthoughts |
""So easy a caveman can do it" completely ignores the fact that cavemen were able to start fires without matches and could kill animals several times their size with nothing but very basic weaponry" | Showerthoughts |
"The way we treat moths vs how we treat butterflies is the prime example of pretty privileges" | Showerthoughts |
"If you go from high school to college to being a teacher you essentially have the same annual schedule your entire life." | Showerthoughts |
"A surprisingly big part of being an adult is trying to schedule a time when you can afford to have a mental breakdown." | Showerthoughts |
"It’s actually sometimes a disadvantage to have a high metabolism/ be the “skinny kid who never gains weight no matter how much he eats” because you never develop the healthy eating/ exercise habits or the self control needed once that metabolism starts to fade away with age." | Showerthoughts |
"Before social media all this shit just stayed in people’s heads" | Showerthoughts |
"It's risky to buy soda right after an earthquake" | Showerthoughts |
"People complain about adult teeth not lasting but evolution didn't expect us to live to 50 and eat sugar like crazy." | Showerthoughts |
"If the Queen of England gets to 100 years old, she might get a card from the Queen of England." | Showerthoughts |
"They put music from the 50s and 60s in medicine commercials to appeal to the older generation... meaning sometime in the future, Despacito will be playing on a commercial for laxatives." | Showerthoughts |
"If you die on your back and it’s freezing out you could see your last breath." | Showerthoughts |
"Most of us have, as children, visited a relative's house and still have no idea to this day who that relative is." | Showerthoughts |
"People with chronic illnesses are often accused of faking being sick, when they actually more often are faking being well." | Showerthoughts |
"Sex shops would sell a lot more products if they had self-checkout" | Showerthoughts |
"We feel bad for waking up our pets as if they have shit to do to tomorrow morning." | Showerthoughts |
"Peak productivity is when one is so lazy that they do all of their work in advance so as to avoid doing it later." | Showerthoughts |
"5 extinction events happened that killed from 60% to 90% of all living beings, we probably lost millions of incredible flavours, fruits, food, and drugs that we will never ever experience" | Showerthoughts |
"You’ve probably once had a dream so vivid that you think it is a memory even though it never really happened." | Showerthoughts |
"People laugh about how cats love boxes, but if there was suddenly a box bigger than you in your living room, you’d probably go in it too." | Showerthoughts |
"As humans were evolving, the first one to develop a sense of humor must have faced a REALLY tough crowd." | Showerthoughts |
"The cereal industry is almost entirely dependent on the milk industry." | Showerthoughts |
"A 14 year old can find a drug dealer but the police can't." | Showerthoughts |
"Porn sites prove that companies can just develop fully functional websites for mobile clients instead of insisting you download an app." | Showerthoughts |
"Next time a conspiracy theorist tries to tell you 'what really happened', present a more outlandish theory and accuse them of covering up the truth." | Showerthoughts |
"Using a laptop makes it look like you're doing work or something important while being on your phone looks the opposite" | Showerthoughts |
"The titanic movie is like someone making a romance movie about 9/11 in a hundred years" | Showerthoughts |
"Everyone is sad that after 15 years Opportunity has died without finding life on Mars when in reality there may be billions of teenie tiny Martians celebrating that they finally killed the marauding invader after 15 years." | Showerthoughts |
"The most unbelievable thing in Guardians of the Galaxy is the fact that a cassette tape could still be playable after 25 years of frequent playing" | Showerthoughts |
"It'd be so much cooler if the ball in Times Square climbed a little bit higher every night of the year at midnight until it reached its highest point on December 31st, then dropped as always to start the new year" | Showerthoughts |
"The Smell Of Cotton Candy Has Gone From "There Must Be A Carnival Nearby" to "Who's The Douche Who's Vaping?"." | Showerthoughts |
"Owls are a major security flaw in the Harry Potter world, all you have to do is write a letter to whoever you're looking for and follow the owl." | Showerthoughts |
"Unvaccinated children are just organic humans with a shorter shelf life." | Showerthoughts |
"Confusing Link and Zelda is the modern version of confusing Frankenstein and Frankenstein’s monster." | Showerthoughts |
"Cute nicknames like "Trash Panda" and "Danger Noodle" would probably be considered slurs in Zootopia." | Showerthoughts |
"Virtually all of the “tough guys” you see on TV and movies were theater majors in college." | Showerthoughts |
"The brain may have named itself, but it also recognized that it named itself and was surprised when it realized that." | Showerthoughts |
"True laziness is memorising how many minutes fast or slow your clock is, rather than changing it." | Showerthoughts |
"Cringing at your past self is basically proof of yourself having had character development" | Showerthoughts |
"The legend of pulling the sword from the Stone could have been just extracting ore from a rock and making a sword out of it." | Showerthoughts |
"The townsfolk might have liked Belle from Beauty and the Beast more if she hadn't constantly danced around town singing about how boring they all were" | Showerthoughts |
"You don’t realize the force with which you stand up until you bang your skull against something" | Showerthoughts |
"Bob's Burgers and King of the Hill are the only two shows where the father is the smarter parent." | Showerthoughts |
"When you're a teenager and you watch your parents trying to use technology, that's how they feel when you try to date" | Showerthoughts |
"Elementary schoolers who have no control over their transportation are punished more for being late than college students who own cars." | Showerthoughts |
"Given how bad body fluids and human waste smells, our skin has to be really good at blocking smells" | Showerthoughts |
"The biggest cause of cancer in mice is research." | Showerthoughts |
"It's okay to kick a pregnant women as long as it's from the inside." | Showerthoughts |
"We only say “Hey stranger” to people we know." | Showerthoughts |
"As a Dad, I wish developers would make a game where player two helps you just by mashing random buttons" | Showerthoughts |
"Cinderella's dress must have been very revealing if the prince looked at her all evening without being able to remember her face." | Showerthoughts |
"It’s funny how people who get a tattoo receive comments like “that’s for the rest of your life”, while people who are getting a baby don’t" | Showerthoughts |
"20 years ago it was exciting to go online and talk with someone from far far away. Now it's exciting to go online and find someone who happens to live nearby." | Showerthoughts |
"The internet is the only place where people talk endlessly to each other about how much they don't like talking to people." | Showerthoughts |
"The idea of Santa living in the north pole probably came the fact that he needs to live somewhere definitely habitable but unreachable by children" | Showerthoughts |
"If Ariel thought forks were combs, then she must’ve thought her dad ruled the ocean with a Giant Hairbrush" | Showerthoughts |
"The information age has produced the first generation of grandparents who are not by default the most knowledgeable and well-informed people in any room they walk in." | Showerthoughts |
"If you drive a new car, you are rich. If you drive an old car, you are poor. If you drive a super old car, you are super rich." | Showerthoughts |
"Trying to hold a conversation while high is a lot like trying to pick the right dialogue option in Fallout 4. You get a vague idea of what you're going to say, but sonething very different comes out." | Showerthoughts |
"My way of flirting is looking at the person I'm attracted to and hoping they're braver than I am." | Showerthoughts |
"You can tell how bad inflation has been over the years by how much money people steal in heist movies of their times." | Showerthoughts |
"There’s a good chance that your calculator history is more embarrassing than your browser history" | Showerthoughts |
"Harry Potter was a trust fund jock who married his high school sweetheart and became a cop." | Showerthoughts |
"C-3PO is an ageless immortal, who passes his time learning languages and uses simpleton charm to cope with the fact that he’s watched 3 generations wreak havoc throughout the galaxy." | Showerthoughts |
"Once private space travel is a common thing, the secret disposal of bodies will be taken to a whole new level." | Showerthoughts |
"Arguing with dumb people actually makes you smarter as you have to find simpler ways to explain yourself which expands your grasp on the subject" | Showerthoughts |
"There probably is a person who traveled to Australia instead of Austria" | Showerthoughts |
"Depending on when you grew up, Barney was either a caveman, a dinosaur, an alcoholic or a womanizer." | Showerthoughts |
"Much of Amazon.com's Prime Video collection feels as if it were assembled using only films they were able to pick up randomly at yard sales." | Showerthoughts |
"As an adult, being gifted a few pairs of socks isn't just being gifted a few pairs of socks, it's being gifted with not having to go to the store to purchase a few pairs of socks in the near future." | Showerthoughts |
""700 million people are smarter than you." may sound like an insult, but it would put you at the 90th percentile." | Showerthoughts |
"A teacher allowing a "cheat sheet" note card for an exam isn't so you get to study less, it's so that you meticulously write out the material on a note card, thus actually studying and remembering it without the cheat sheet later." | Showerthoughts |
"If the earth was flat, you can bet the edge would be one of the biggest tourist attractions in the world" | Showerthoughts |
"25 years ago seeing a toddler use technology was seen as a stroke of genius, today it is largely met with thoughts of a lack of parenting." | Showerthoughts |
"A Chicken nugget is a meatball. And nothing can change that fact" | Showerthoughts |
"The guy that designed the bouncing DVD screensaver had no idea what he was about to unleash" | Showerthoughts |
"No matter how hard you try, you can't technically predict your next thought, because if you do, you're already thinking it." | Showerthoughts |
"The internet has so much crazy shit on it, you could literally take a picture of your asshole, put a funny caption on it, and then just send it out to all of your friends and no one would assume it's your asshole." | Showerthoughts |
"Shout-out to all the dogs who've chased off burglars without their owners ever knowing." | Showerthoughts |
"If Leonardo da Vinci were alive today, the Mona Lisa would've gotten about 44 likes on social media before being buried forever on the internet" | Showerthoughts |
"Being "on your phone all day" went from sounding very sociable to very unsociable within the span of a decade." | Showerthoughts |
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