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"Saying you’ve got OCD whenever you are slightly annoyed by some in-alignments is like saying you’ve got lung cancer every time you cough" | Showerthoughts |
"The Wizard of Oz was many people's first exposure to a color film. Decades later, it's many people's first exposure to a black and white film." | Showerthoughts |
"A love triangle is actually love V... If it were a triangle they could just have a threesome." | Showerthoughts |
"Maybe we are in a simulation, and they make a few people actually experience a flat earth just to mess with us." | Showerthoughts |
"You realise you're getting older when the main characters aren't your age anymore" | Showerthoughts |
"Whatever weird, embarrassing thing you do at home, your pet thinks it's normal because you are their only example of what a human does." | Showerthoughts |
"Saying "uh huh" in phone conversations with my mom is like mashing the button to speed up NPC conversations in video games." | Showerthoughts |
"Queen Elizabeth’s passing will probably have a bigger impact on internet culture than on British culture." | Showerthoughts |
"Whenever an artist like Taylor Swift releases a song about a breakup, the ex-boyfriend must be out there in the world somewhere thinking wtf.. what an overreaction..." | Showerthoughts |
"The anti-vacation. Go somewhere really shitty and do something awful for a week so when you return, your life seems really good." | Showerthoughts |
"Today is the five year anniversary of the end of the world." | Showerthoughts |
"Taking a dump right after showering always feels extra dirty" | Showerthoughts |
"People always ask "Were you raised in a barn?" When someone leaves a door open, but I've lived on a farm my entire life and the first thing I learned was to close the door or the animals get out." | Showerthoughts |
"In 1998 we made two animated movies about ants and then just decided that was enough." | Showerthoughts |
"No matter what kind of calculator I am using, I am going to hit "clear" multiple times." | Showerthoughts |
"Nowadays it is almost rude to ask a question instead of Googling it first." | Showerthoughts |
"Although he gets a lot of flak, Oscar the Grouch is arguably one of the most important characters of Sesame street- helping viewers understand that kindness is not guaranteed by everyone, and even unpleasant people deserve respect." | Showerthoughts |
"The man bun is the mullet of the millennials." | Showerthoughts |
"We probably lived through several world events that will later be in history books and marked as important, and we basically just shrugged and went on with our lives." | Showerthoughts |
"We have all at one point kicked a pregnant lady." | Showerthoughts |
"Mermaids using starfish as bras could be a form of symbiotic relationship." | Showerthoughts |
"Being a female werewolf must suck. They'd have to deal with "that time of the month," two times a month." | Showerthoughts |
"Alaska and Hawaii are like DLCs for the U.S" | Showerthoughts |
"Using your laptop to charge your phone is like performing a blood transfusion for electronics." | Showerthoughts |
"Growing a really nice beard is like getting really muscular. You do it to pick up girls, but 90% of the attention you get will be from other men." | Showerthoughts |
"If you take no one's advice, you are an idiot. If you take everyone's advice, you are also an idiot." | Showerthoughts |
"I just realized that whenever I hear a "... walk into a bar" joke, Ive been picturing the same bar my whole life. I wonder if it exists somewhere or if its just a mesh of different bars I saw on tv as a kid." | Showerthoughts |
"Wearing a suit to your job used to be something of a status symbol. Now being able to wear jeans and a t-shirt is." | Showerthoughts |
"It’s a real shame we say 1 million dollars instead of 1 megadollar" | Showerthoughts |
"Platypuses are animals that both lay eggs and lactate, making them a natural portable source of omelettes." | Showerthoughts |
"Alcohol is like a potion with +5 charisma and -2 dexterity that you can only buy if you're above a certain level" | Showerthoughts |
"Google-ing something truly is a skill. Some people are much better and faster at finding more accurate results than others." | Showerthoughts |
"Old TV static was a lot scarier for horror movies than "HDMI 1 not connected"" | Showerthoughts |
"No one has a Brooklyn accent on the show Brooklyn Nine-Nine." | Showerthoughts |
"The owner of the testicles displayed on Wikipedia about testicles represents every man's balls." | Showerthoughts |
"Putting a book open faced down to remember which page you're on is akin to using the entire planet Earth as a bookmark" | Showerthoughts |
"If a small business is family owned, it seems friendly. If a large business is family owned, it seems corrupt" | Showerthoughts |
"Somewhere in China there's a warehouse filled with millions of fidget spinners and a company about to go bankrupt." | Showerthoughts |
"We live in a world where GTA is a kid’s game and Candy Crush is an adult’s game." | Showerthoughts |
"Movie theaters should have a headphone jack option, so people can plug in and hear the movie without hearing idiots talk behind them." | Showerthoughts |
"If you start counting from zero to either positive or negative numbers your lips wont touch till you reach 1 million" | Showerthoughts |
"The fact that dishwashers also clean themselves is rarely appreciated" | Showerthoughts |
"At special occasions girls with curly hair straighten it and girls with straight hair curl it." | Showerthoughts |
"People who live were it doesn't snow will never understand how quiet the morning after a big snow is." | Showerthoughts |
"You never realize how often you fart until you hang around with someone you are attracted to." | Showerthoughts |
"Prince Charles is a 70 year old intern waiting for his first real job." | Showerthoughts |
"Somewhere, two best friends are meeting for the first time." | Showerthoughts |
"If WWIII or a plague broke out and killed a million people every day, it would still take 21 years to wipe out the human race. There sure are a lot of people." | Showerthoughts |
"We're lucky we don't have more naturally exposed bones on our body considering how much attention and upkeep teeth require." | Showerthoughts |
"Porn is now essentially a hegemony with legit and safe websites while recipes and artsy craftsy content is full of crazy pop-up traps and high-volume auto-playing ads." | Showerthoughts |
"No British King has ever used the internet" | Showerthoughts |
"Being ugly and saying you love yourself is inspiring. Being attractive and saying you love yourself is egotistical." | Showerthoughts |
"Peppers are the spicy of the fire, mint is the spicy of the ice, carbonation is the spicy of the air, and vinegar is the spicy of the water." | Showerthoughts |
"More and more kids are going to grow up without being stung by a bee now." | Showerthoughts |
"Finding an eggshell in an Egg McMuffin is both annoying and reassuring." | Showerthoughts |
"Most rappers sing about being richer then they actually are. Most country singers sing about being poorer then they actually are" | Showerthoughts |
"A McDonald’s on Mars will be open 25 hours and 687 days a year." | Showerthoughts |
"Pressing the ‘lock’ button on your car key fob multiple times is the grown up version of saving your game twice." | Showerthoughts |
"In 500 years time this will probably be known as the 'Oil Age'" | Showerthoughts |
"If every highschool/college student took a one year long practical course where they work one semester in retail and one semester in food service, there would be far less rude customers" | Showerthoughts |
"It's a wonder how not enough braille is on dog food and products. Considering majority of the blind/visually impaired have seeing-eye dogs." | Showerthoughts |
"Do you realize that if aliens come to Earth, we will have to explain why we made movies in which we fight and kill them" | Showerthoughts |
"Nothing screams first world problem more than trying to decide which piece of your food you want to eat last cause the last flavor in your mouth matters." | Showerthoughts |
"Depressed or anxious characters in movies are critically appreciated, but people with these conditions are often shunned or ignored in real life and told to 'snap outta it' by many." | Showerthoughts |
"We live in a society so removed from nature that natural survival skills are a recreational hobby" | Showerthoughts |
"It’s weird how “Fact-checking” and “News” are treated like two separate concepts nowadays." | Showerthoughts |
"It's a good thing decaying plants don't smell like rotting corpses or Fall would be traumatizing." | Showerthoughts |
"Just a thought. I see a lot of older people post that we survived lead paint, no seatbelts, no helmets etc. You do understand there are people who didn't right? That's probably why they can't post it on FB." | Showerthoughts |
"Apple probably prevented a lot of Siri rule-34 stuff by not giving her an avatar or image." | Showerthoughts |
"In most groups of friends, one of them will eventually go to all the other friends' funerals, and one of them won't go to anyone's funeral" | Showerthoughts |
"The biggest plot hole of the Zombie Apocalypse is that every zombies pants would fall around their ankles once their waistline thinned out enough" | Showerthoughts |
"The only thing appropriate to deep throat in public is a sword" | Showerthoughts |
"It must have been weird being the first historian ever. "What are you doing?" "Just writing down stuff that's happening." "Why?" "It might be interesting to read about in the future."" | Showerthoughts |
"Actors start off in commercials playing someone else, but when they've really made it they return to commercials playing themselves." | Showerthoughts |
"In gaming, repeatedly crouching when you first see someone is a sign of friendship, but repeatedly crouching after you killed them is a sign of disrespect" | Showerthoughts |
"It’d be real cool if bags of dog food had toys the way cereal boxes do." | Showerthoughts |
"Being able to read minds would actually suck since with most people you'd just hear the same 5 seconds of a song playing on loop" | Showerthoughts |
"Going to a concert alone is the ultimate sign that you really love the performer." | Showerthoughts |
"Humans are most physically vulnerable when naked yet nothing is more physically threatening than a naked person running at you." | Showerthoughts |
"You could probably get a GIF tattooed in the Harry Potter universe" | Showerthoughts |
"People with cooking shows/channels don't actually have to be any good -- people can't taste what they make, and if people make the recipe on their own and it sucks, they'll just think they did it wrong." | Showerthoughts |
"You hope that your friends forget your “embarrassing moment”, but in reality you probably forget all of theirs" | Showerthoughts |
"When our generation is old we will still subconsciously be trying to keep our electronics from getting wet even if everything is waterproof." | Showerthoughts |
"If you see someone wearing a $20,000 watch it's hard to know if they're really good with money or really bad with money." | Showerthoughts |
"People who say they "give 110%" are often criticised on the grounds it's impossible to give more than 100%. Yet it is possible if the percentage is relative to outside expectations. Eg. if the target is to sell 100 items and you don't stop until you've sold 110, you just delivered 110%." | Showerthoughts |
"Every pleasure is a guilty pleasure if you’re anxious enough" | Showerthoughts |
"There is a finite number of people who were born the same year as you. Every time one of them dies, you are closer to being the last one." | Showerthoughts |
"Nothing else will make you type slower other than your last password attempt." | Showerthoughts |
"Static shocks you get when touching things must be one hell of a lightning storm for the bacteria on your skin" | Showerthoughts |
"If the Bloodhound Gang song about "doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel" were written today, they would be singing about having sex on a crab fishing boat, or with gold miners, or while flipping cars in Texas." | Showerthoughts |
"If there was an STD that decreased the size of male genitalia, nobody would think twice about wearing a condom ever again." | Showerthoughts |
"The main reason why there are more males playing videogames than girls is because most parents bought shitty girl games to the females when they were young and ended up thinking that all games were bad and boring" | Showerthoughts |
"You can know someone for years and not know what color their eyes are." | Showerthoughts |
"No wonder cats and dogs hate each other. One wags their tail when they're excited, the other when annoyed. It's all a huge misunderstanding." | Showerthoughts |
"If we mounted cameras on garbage trucks, Google Maps Street View could update weekly" | Showerthoughts |
"A belt is the only piece of clothing where it is perfectly acceptable to go outside without wearing one, but still makes you look like a pervert if you take it off once you’re in public" | Showerthoughts |
"There are two types of hotel guests in the world: those who ask when tomorrow’s breakfast begins, and those who ask when it ends." | Showerthoughts |
"Nobody gave us the source code for how our bodies work so we’ve basically spent centuries reverse engineering ourselves" | Showerthoughts |
"If your identical twin got plastic surgery, it would be hard not to feel a little insulted" | Showerthoughts |
"If dogs are able to see ghosts, then the reason they’re afraid of the vet is because they can see all the animals that have been euthanised there." | Showerthoughts |
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