daspartho/subreddit-posts · Datasets at Hugging Face

title stringlengths 2 302	label stringlengths 3 20
"In our lifetime, the person we have the most conversations with is ourselves, in our own head, without saying a single word aloud"	Showerthoughts
"No one actually teaches you how to ride a bicycle. They just hype you up until you work it out."	Showerthoughts
"The easiest way to tell if you're obese is if a child draws your stick figure with a line torso or a circle torso"	Showerthoughts
"Bill Gates is like a video game character who's unlocked everything. All he can do now is self-imposed challenges like cure malaria to keep things interesting."	Showerthoughts
"Gambling is only considered an addiction if you are bad at it."	Showerthoughts
"The most unrealistic thing about Toy Story is that after 14 years Woody still has his hat."	Showerthoughts
"In a 500 day period, someone could have met someone, got married, gave birth to a child, got divorced, and still would have been using the same box of Q tips."	Showerthoughts
"Putting child-proof caps on hard liquor would reduce adult consumption."	Showerthoughts
"The way countries hastily try to fix/hide their social issues before the olympics is essentially an entire country's version of the panicked cleaning up you do around the house when people are about to come over"	Showerthoughts
"Your brain knows where all of your organs are, and won’t tell you."	Showerthoughts
"The build up to Christmas Day actually feels way more like Christmas than the actual day itself."	Showerthoughts
"February 13th is most likely the day when the most hair goes down people's drains."	Showerthoughts
"Dad jokes are where a man's creative energies go when it is no longer appropriate to use pick up lines."	Showerthoughts
"Sympathetic vomiting is probably a survival trait, in the event someone in the group ate something bad."	Showerthoughts
"Being bored in your own house is somehow better than being bored at someone else's house."	Showerthoughts
"Normally, you empty your drink from the top, but when you use a straw you empty it from the bottom."	Showerthoughts
"Those who remember ‘Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader’ really isn’t a show that displays how stupid adults can be, but rather how much useless and irrelevant information we teach grade schoolers that will not be applicable in life."	Showerthoughts
"When you're a kid, one teacher walking into another teacher's classroom is the biggest crossover event reality has to offer"	Showerthoughts
"Going to sleep without worrying about getting eaten alive by some other animal is probably the most privileged human thing."	Showerthoughts
"Mulan’s dad would have never been asked to fight on the front lines. He was a celebrated war veteran and old. They would’ve had him training recruits or acting as a general. At the very least they’d give him a horse."	Showerthoughts
"I'm not sure if my antivirus software is effective, because no viruses are detected on my computer, or ineffective, because no viruses are detected on my computer."	Showerthoughts
"Being scared to end a relationship is like receiving the "are you sure you want to quit, any unsaved progress will be lost" pop up for the game of life"	Showerthoughts
"A smart refrigerator isn't one with screens, cameras, and wifi. It's one that knows to dim the light when you open it at 3am."	Showerthoughts
"Someone has your dream job and hates going to work every day."	Showerthoughts
"Maybe dogs are afraid of vacuum cleaners because they’re intimidated by anything that can do one continuous woof"	Showerthoughts
"People who can properly handle lottery winnings are the least likely to buy lottery tickets"	Showerthoughts
"Whoever invented "ladies first" just wanted an excuse to look at their bums."	Showerthoughts
"Prince Charles is nearly 5 years older than the UK men’s retirement age, and he’s not even started the job he was born to do."	Showerthoughts
"Everyone praises dogs as mankind’s best friend. But the horse which was the backbone for almost all labor and transportation gets little praise from today’s society."	Showerthoughts
"There are sidewalks in the Cars movies but they are all cars"	Showerthoughts
"Somewhere a guy is sleeping over at a new girlfriends house. He has fallen asleep and has unknowingly decided his side of the bed for the rest of the relationship and potentially marriage!"	Showerthoughts
"There’s a big difference between men and women when they say they finished a whole box of tissues watching that film last night"	Showerthoughts
"Mens underwear's most underrated ability is to stop those last dribbles from showing on your pants"	Showerthoughts
"Water can taste great for 4 billion years, but one night in a glass beside the bed and it tastes terrible."	Showerthoughts
"If pigs could fly their wings would probably taste really good"	Showerthoughts
"We laugh at animals for having funny mating rituals but humans probably have the most complex and frustrating mating rituals of all"	Showerthoughts
"If Google voice taught children how to speak, they would grow up with the weirdest accent."	Showerthoughts
"Pretty ironic that as TV screens got bigger, spilt screen games became less frequent"	Showerthoughts
"Given how powerful and dangerous they are, it’s a shame no professional sports teams use the hippopotamus as their mascot"	Showerthoughts
"The fact that we introduce dinosaurs to kids as a novelty at a young age makes them accepting of them without even questioning it. Imagine if you didn't know that giant beasts once roamed the earth prior to humans, and only found out when you were an adult with no childhood influences."	Showerthoughts
"It will be a lot harder for kids to win against their parents in video games in the future"	Showerthoughts
"Adulthood is finally making enough money to do the things you've always wanted, but can't because you have to spend it on things you never knew you needed."	Showerthoughts
"Telling someone they look better with a beard is basically saying they look better the less you can see their face."	Showerthoughts
"A world where cops employ chimps/gorillas instead of k9's would be fucking terrifying."	Showerthoughts
"You've probably walked past people you've played video games online with before and didn't realize"	Showerthoughts
"After popcorn was discovered, there must have been a lot of random seeds that were roasted to see if it would have the same effect"	Showerthoughts
"The mentality "it's only $5, why not buy it?" has probably cost me over $5000 dollars in my lifetime"	Showerthoughts
"Emo dissapeared because now everyone wants to die and it isn't special anymore."	Showerthoughts
"Biscuits and gravy is just one form of flour and milk poured onto another form of flour and milk."	Showerthoughts
"The answer to the age old half empty or full glass question: It depends on your last action with it. If you drank from it it's half empty, but if you filled it it's half full."	Showerthoughts
"The farther away you can wave hi to someone, the closer you are as friends."	Showerthoughts
"There are probably tortoises still alive that saw Charles Darwin at the Galapagos Islands."	Showerthoughts
"George Orwell predicted cameras watching us in our homes, but he didn't predict that we would buy and install them ourselves."	Showerthoughts
"Procrastination teaches you to finish a 8 hour job in 30 minutes and also to finish a 30 minute job in 8 hours"	Showerthoughts
"Having morning wood and simultaneously an intense need to urinate is a cruel biological joke."	Showerthoughts
"Our smart watches may pretend that they don't, but they ABSOLUTELY know when we masturbate."	Showerthoughts
"We honor our best friends by calling them family and honor family members we like by calling them our best friend."	Showerthoughts
"Corrupt cops are just undercover criminals."	Showerthoughts
"Harry Potter was way too emotionally stable for a kid raised by people who hated him."	Showerthoughts
"If Samsung doesn’t come out with marketing soon with something to the effect of “we don’t slow down older phones like apple,” they’re probably guilty too"	Showerthoughts
"Depression is the most common mental illness, yet it somehow convinces everyone that they’re completely alone."	Showerthoughts
"Bill Gates' children don't have to explain technology to him."	Showerthoughts
"If electric eels went extinct 1000 years ago we'd probably think they were just folklore."	Showerthoughts
"Dogs often get given the exact same meal every single day, and yet they never appreciate it any less"	Showerthoughts
"In the future, old youtubers might give their account to their children, and it might develop into some sort of family business that is passed on through generations until the original owner of the account becomes legend."	Showerthoughts
"In the movie Birdbox, seeing as animals aren't affected, guide dogs would be the most valuable animal companion to have over a bird"	Showerthoughts
"Somewhere out there there's two bots matched on tinder that are still locked in conversation, spamming each other with phone numbers and cam site links"	Showerthoughts
"When you think of the age that "unlocks the most," a lot of people might think 18, or 21 or something. But turning 3 gives you access to a metric shitton of toys."	Showerthoughts
"Every child is trained by their parents for a world that is one generation out of date."	Showerthoughts
"No matter how old you are, an empty wrapping paper tube is still fun to bonk someone over the head with."	Showerthoughts
"Cartoon characters only sneeze when it’s relevant to the plot"	Showerthoughts
"Since young children have a limited vocabulary, their dreams must feature adults saying childish sentences."	Showerthoughts
"It should be socially acceptable to be able to turn off from the world and ignore everyone for a day or two without having to explain why or feel weird about it"	Showerthoughts
"Stephen Hawking could have had a conversation with the dentist during a procedure."	Showerthoughts
"As teenagers, getting picked up was embarrassing because everyone started driving. As adults, getting picked up is great because you don't have to drive."	Showerthoughts
"A story of being chosen from birth by your government to enter extreme military training based on your natural abilities is science fiction for humans but not for dogs."	Showerthoughts
"Narcissus would probably be thrilled to hear that he has a flower and a psychological condition named after him."	Showerthoughts
"If Adam Sandler’s movie “Click” didn’t have the happy end scene where he wakes up, it could’ve been a 2 hour black mirror episode."	Showerthoughts
"Depression/anxiety convince you that both everyone and no-one cares"	Showerthoughts
"Publishing a "Top 500 Tax Payers" list instead of a "Top 500 Richest People" list, would breed a healthier competition"	Showerthoughts
"If we successfully colonize Mars, then Earth will have its first true competitor for Miss Universe"	Showerthoughts
"Jokes about anti-vax children dying has become the socially acceptable dead baby jokes"	Showerthoughts
"Night-owls kept our species alive for millions of years protecting the day walkers from nocturnal predators and our repayment was...being scorned and told we are lazy assholes."	Showerthoughts
"Since we test drugs on animals first, rat medicine must be years ahead of human medicine"	Showerthoughts
"Maybe we're all playable characters in a cosmic video game, and the fridge is the save point, which is why we all sorta open it, look inside, and then wander off without eating anything."	Showerthoughts
"Your baby teeth are out there somewhere"	Showerthoughts
"If your username is John68 I assume you're 49 years old, if it's John69 I assume you're 12 years old."	Showerthoughts
"One of the great things about cooking your own food is the sweet certainty that any hair in it is yours."	Showerthoughts
"A man's nipples are the biological equivalent of the blank plastic panels they put in a car in places where you didn't get certain options."	Showerthoughts
"If the dead could actually roll in their graves, there could be a new proffesion where you just say dumb stuff throughout the day to make them generate electricity"	Showerthoughts
"Cookie Monster doesn't even eat the cookies, he just pulverizes them for sport. Which is exactly something you'd expect a Cookie Monster to do."	Showerthoughts
"A man can go through his whole life not knowing he is sterile. He just thinks condoms and birth control work really well."	Showerthoughts
"If you pay to see the results of an online IQ test, then you failed the test."	Showerthoughts
"If I appeared in front of my dog through teleportation, he would oversee the fact that I teleported and be happy that I'm home"	Showerthoughts
"When you get out of school at 3, it felt very late. When you get off work at 3, it feels like you got half your day back."	Showerthoughts
"Being shot with an arrow is basically being long-distance stabbed."	Showerthoughts
"The reason "the real joke is always in the comments" is because it's way easier to add comedy than to create it from nothing. This is why your hilarious friend can't just go on stage and do stand up."	Showerthoughts
"Mickey mouse's ears always look round from any angle, therefor they are balls."	Showerthoughts
"It's annoying when we walk through the same morning spider webs over and over again because it gets on us. But from the spiders point of view it must be devastating to have a 60 story tall Titan walkthrough your home destroying your livelihood and then try to kill you out of rage on a daily basis."	Showerthoughts
"People who complain about not being taught how to do taxes in high school probably wouldnt have paid attention to it if offered in high school."	Showerthoughts

"In our lifetime, the person we have the most conversations with is ourselves, in our own head, without saying a single word aloud"

Showerthoughts

"No one actually teaches you how to ride a bicycle. They just hype you up until you work it out."

Showerthoughts

"The easiest way to tell if you're obese is if a child draws your stick figure with a line torso or a circle torso"

Showerthoughts

"Bill Gates is like a video game character who's unlocked everything. All he can do now is self-imposed challenges like cure malaria to keep things interesting."

Showerthoughts

"Gambling is only considered an addiction if you are bad at it."

Showerthoughts

"The most unrealistic thing about Toy Story is that after 14 years Woody still has his hat."

Showerthoughts

"In a 500 day period, someone could have met someone, got married, gave birth to a child, got divorced, and still would have been using the same box of Q tips."

Showerthoughts

"Putting child-proof caps on hard liquor would reduce adult consumption."

Showerthoughts

"The way countries hastily try to fix/hide their social issues before the olympics is essentially an entire country's version of the panicked cleaning up you do around the house when people are about to come over"

Showerthoughts

"Your brain knows where all of your organs are, and won’t tell you."

Showerthoughts

"The build up to Christmas Day actually feels way more like Christmas than the actual day itself."

Showerthoughts

"February 13th is most likely the day when the most hair goes down people's drains."

Showerthoughts

"Dad jokes are where a man's creative energies go when it is no longer appropriate to use pick up lines."

Showerthoughts

"Sympathetic vomiting is probably a survival trait, in the event someone in the group ate something bad."

Showerthoughts

"Being bored in your own house is somehow better than being bored at someone else's house."

Showerthoughts

"Normally, you empty your drink from the top, but when you use a straw you empty it from the bottom."

Showerthoughts

"Those who remember ‘Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader’ really isn’t a show that displays how stupid adults can be, but rather how much useless and irrelevant information we teach grade schoolers that will not be applicable in life."

Showerthoughts

"When you're a kid, one teacher walking into another teacher's classroom is the biggest crossover event reality has to offer"

Showerthoughts

"Going to sleep without worrying about getting eaten alive by some other animal is probably the most privileged human thing."

Showerthoughts

"Mulan’s dad would have never been asked to fight on the front lines. He was a celebrated war veteran and old. They would’ve had him training recruits or acting as a general. At the very least they’d give him a horse."

Showerthoughts

"I'm not sure if my antivirus software is effective, because no viruses are detected on my computer, or ineffective, because no viruses are detected on my computer."

Showerthoughts

"Being scared to end a relationship is like receiving the "are you sure you want to quit, any unsaved progress will be lost" pop up for the game of life"

Showerthoughts

"A smart refrigerator isn't one with screens, cameras, and wifi. It's one that knows to dim the light when you open it at 3am."

Showerthoughts

"Someone has your dream job and hates going to work every day."

Showerthoughts

"Maybe dogs are afraid of vacuum cleaners because they’re intimidated by anything that can do one continuous woof"

Showerthoughts

"People who can properly handle lottery winnings are the least likely to buy lottery tickets"

Showerthoughts

"Whoever invented "ladies first" just wanted an excuse to look at their bums."

Showerthoughts

"Prince Charles is nearly 5 years older than the UK men’s retirement age, and he’s not even started the job he was born to do."

Showerthoughts

"Everyone praises dogs as mankind’s best friend. But the horse which was the backbone for almost all labor and transportation gets little praise from today’s society."

Showerthoughts

"There are sidewalks in the Cars movies but they are all cars"

Showerthoughts

"Somewhere a guy is sleeping over at a new girlfriends house. He has fallen asleep and has unknowingly decided his side of the bed for the rest of the relationship and potentially marriage!"

Showerthoughts

"There’s a big difference between men and women when they say they finished a whole box of tissues watching that film last night"

Showerthoughts

"Mens underwear's most underrated ability is to stop those last dribbles from showing on your pants"

Showerthoughts

"Water can taste great for 4 billion years, but one night in a glass beside the bed and it tastes terrible."

Showerthoughts

"If pigs could fly their wings would probably taste really good"

Showerthoughts

"We laugh at animals for having funny mating rituals but humans probably have the most complex and frustrating mating rituals of all"

Showerthoughts

"If Google voice taught children how to speak, they would grow up with the weirdest accent."

Showerthoughts

"Pretty ironic that as TV screens got bigger, spilt screen games became less frequent"

Showerthoughts

"Given how powerful and dangerous they are, it’s a shame no professional sports teams use the hippopotamus as their mascot"

Showerthoughts

"The fact that we introduce dinosaurs to kids as a novelty at a young age makes them accepting of them without even questioning it. Imagine if you didn't know that giant beasts once roamed the earth prior to humans, and only found out when you were an adult with no childhood influences."

Showerthoughts

"It will be a lot harder for kids to win against their parents in video games in the future"

Showerthoughts

"Adulthood is finally making enough money to do the things you've always wanted, but can't because you have to spend it on things you never knew you needed."

Showerthoughts

"Telling someone they look better with a beard is basically saying they look better the less you can see their face."

Showerthoughts

"A world where cops employ chimps/gorillas instead of k9's would be fucking terrifying."

Showerthoughts

"You've probably walked past people you've played video games online with before and didn't realize"

Showerthoughts

"After popcorn was discovered, there must have been a lot of random seeds that were roasted to see if it would have the same effect"

Showerthoughts

"The mentality "it's only $5, why not buy it?" has probably cost me over $5000 dollars in my lifetime"

Showerthoughts

"Emo dissapeared because now everyone wants to die and it isn't special anymore."

Showerthoughts

"Biscuits and gravy is just one form of flour and milk poured onto another form of flour and milk."

Showerthoughts

"The answer to the age old half empty or full glass question: It depends on your last action with it. If you drank from it it's half empty, but if you filled it it's half full."

Showerthoughts

"The farther away you can wave hi to someone, the closer you are as friends."

Showerthoughts

"There are probably tortoises still alive that saw Charles Darwin at the Galapagos Islands."

Showerthoughts

"George Orwell predicted cameras watching us in our homes, but he didn't predict that we would buy and install them ourselves."

Showerthoughts

"Procrastination teaches you to finish a 8 hour job in 30 minutes and also to finish a 30 minute job in 8 hours"

Showerthoughts

"Having morning wood and simultaneously an intense need to urinate is a cruel biological joke."

Showerthoughts

"Our smart watches may pretend that they don't, but they ABSOLUTELY know when we masturbate."

Showerthoughts

"We honor our best friends by calling them family and honor family members we like by calling them our best friend."

Showerthoughts

"Corrupt cops are just undercover criminals."

Showerthoughts

"Harry Potter was way too emotionally stable for a kid raised by people who hated him."

Showerthoughts

"If Samsung doesn’t come out with marketing soon with something to the effect of “we don’t slow down older phones like apple,” they’re probably guilty too"

Showerthoughts

"Depression is the most common mental illness, yet it somehow convinces everyone that they’re completely alone."

Showerthoughts

"Bill Gates' children don't have to explain technology to him."

Showerthoughts

"If electric eels went extinct 1000 years ago we'd probably think they were just folklore."

Showerthoughts

"Dogs often get given the exact same meal every single day, and yet they never appreciate it any less"

Showerthoughts

"In the future, old youtubers might give their account to their children, and it might develop into some sort of family business that is passed on through generations until the original owner of the account becomes legend."

Showerthoughts

"In the movie Birdbox, seeing as animals aren't affected, guide dogs would be the most valuable animal companion to have over a bird"

Showerthoughts

"Somewhere out there there's two bots matched on tinder that are still locked in conversation, spamming each other with phone numbers and cam site links"

Showerthoughts

"When you think of the age that "unlocks the most," a lot of people might think 18, or 21 or something. But turning 3 gives you access to a metric shitton of toys."

Showerthoughts

"Every child is trained by their parents for a world that is one generation out of date."

Showerthoughts

"No matter how old you are, an empty wrapping paper tube is still fun to bonk someone over the head with."

Showerthoughts

"Cartoon characters only sneeze when it’s relevant to the plot"

Showerthoughts

"Since young children have a limited vocabulary, their dreams must feature adults saying childish sentences."

Showerthoughts

"It should be socially acceptable to be able to turn off from the world and ignore everyone for a day or two without having to explain why or feel weird about it"

Showerthoughts

"Stephen Hawking could have had a conversation with the dentist during a procedure."

Showerthoughts

"As teenagers, getting picked up was embarrassing because everyone started driving. As adults, getting picked up is great because you don't have to drive."

Showerthoughts

"A story of being chosen from birth by your government to enter extreme military training based on your natural abilities is science fiction for humans but not for dogs."

Showerthoughts

"Narcissus would probably be thrilled to hear that he has a flower and a psychological condition named after him."

Showerthoughts

"If Adam Sandler’s movie “Click” didn’t have the happy end scene where he wakes up, it could’ve been a 2 hour black mirror episode."

Showerthoughts

"Depression/anxiety convince you that both everyone and no-one cares"

Showerthoughts

"Publishing a "Top 500 Tax Payers" list instead of a "Top 500 Richest People" list, would breed a healthier competition"

Showerthoughts

"If we successfully colonize Mars, then Earth will have its first true competitor for Miss Universe"

Showerthoughts

"Jokes about anti-vax children dying has become the socially acceptable dead baby jokes"

Showerthoughts

"Night-owls kept our species alive for millions of years protecting the day walkers from nocturnal predators and our repayment was...being scorned and told we are lazy assholes."

Showerthoughts

"Since we test drugs on animals first, rat medicine must be years ahead of human medicine"

Showerthoughts

"Maybe we're all playable characters in a cosmic video game, and the fridge is the save point, which is why we all sorta open it, look inside, and then wander off without eating anything."

Showerthoughts

"Your baby teeth are out there somewhere"

Showerthoughts

"If your username is John68 I assume you're 49 years old, if it's John69 I assume you're 12 years old."

Showerthoughts

"One of the great things about cooking your own food is the sweet certainty that any hair in it is yours."

Showerthoughts

"A man's nipples are the biological equivalent of the blank plastic panels they put in a car in places where you didn't get certain options."

Showerthoughts

"If the dead could actually roll in their graves, there could be a new proffesion where you just say dumb stuff throughout the day to make them generate electricity"

Showerthoughts

"Cookie Monster doesn't even eat the cookies, he just pulverizes them for sport. Which is exactly something you'd expect a Cookie Monster to do."

Showerthoughts

"A man can go through his whole life not knowing he is sterile. He just thinks condoms and birth control work really well."

Showerthoughts

"If you pay to see the results of an online IQ test, then you failed the test."

Showerthoughts

"If I appeared in front of my dog through teleportation, he would oversee the fact that I teleported and be happy that I'm home"

Showerthoughts

"When you get out of school at 3, it felt very late. When you get off work at 3, it feels like you got half your day back."

Showerthoughts

"Being shot with an arrow is basically being long-distance stabbed."

Showerthoughts

"The reason "the real joke is always in the comments" is because it's way easier to add comedy than to create it from nothing. This is why your hilarious friend can't just go on stage and do stand up."

Showerthoughts

"Mickey mouse's ears always look round from any angle, therefor they are balls."

Showerthoughts

"It's annoying when we walk through the same morning spider webs over and over again because it gets on us. But from the spiders point of view it must be devastating to have a 60 story tall Titan walkthrough your home destroying your livelihood and then try to kill you out of rage on a daily basis."

Showerthoughts

"People who complain about not being taught how to do taxes in high school probably wouldnt have paid attention to it if offered in high school."

Showerthoughts