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French | Je n'ai jamais fait de mal comme ça, je suis une fille d'un an qui a perdu son père l'année dernière pour se suicider, je ne vais pas entrer dans les détails, mais j'ai fait un choix pour aider à décider quel parent je resterais avec quand il était vivant, je choisis ma mère parce que je l'aimais, mais j'étais tellement engourdi et déprimé au point où je ne me souciais pas de ce qui m'est arrivé. |
English | I feel like my life is slowly spiraling out of control I was laid off by my long term job a week ago I barely have enough money to afford rent for the next two months And that's not including living expenses I've been searching for months to try to find another job and nothing is turning up I live with two of my best friends and they're constantly angry at me over one thing or another And when I do try to please them it's never up to their standards I'm trying everything in the world to keep my new boyfriend happy And while he says that he is I can tell he isn't I used to cut I haven't in years Every day lately the urge keeps getting stronger and stronger With an emotionally abusive past where I was told repeatedly by my mother and her boyfriends that I'm never good enough and will never amount to anything Well it just seems even more truthful than before Usually I'm able to hold my head high and tell myself that life will get better but right now it seems like each step I take is just into quicksand and I'm just falling deeper and deeper into lives |
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French | Je veux juste mettre fin à tout ce que j'ai été aux prises avec la dépression depuis que je suis un petit enfant, je ne peux même pas me rappeler quand il a commencé plus Parfois, sans raison, mais comme un enfant, il était toujours là Au moment où je suis seulement et les sentiments juste voir de plus en plus fort tous les jours Je sais ce que vous re-penser l'un de ces adolescents ennuyeux que je n'ai pas vu le monde et pense |
French | Un gâchis d'espace |
French | null |
French | Pourquoi je ne peux pas juste le faire, j'ai pris des décisions horribles et tout le monde s'efface, je n'ai plus d'amis, c'est comme si je venais dans un nouvel endroit, je perds tout, je baise, personne ne m'aime plus, et c'est de ma faute, rien ne va mieux, rien ne va mourir, c'est juste que je vais descendre, je vais mourir, je vais mourir. |
French | À tout le monde dans Suicide Watch pouvons-nous corriger ces chiffres un peu, je me rends compte que le mien n'était pas en façade non plus au moment HTTP i Imgur com Newly JPG Si nous avons plus de gens qui vérifient r Dépression aussi nous pourrions être en mesure d'empêcher le PO d'aller même à r Suicide Watch, mais au lieu d'être là au début de cette façon plus ils peuvent parler et obtenir de l'aide |
French | Salut j'ai besoin d'un ami s'il vous plaît quelqu'un que je suis dans un de mes ensembles d'esprit suicidaires et j'ai juste besoin de quelqu'un à qui je parle s'il vous plaît ne demandez pas pourquoi je suis comme ça je suis juste et si je savais que je trouverais un moyen de m'aider juste j'ai besoin de quelqu'un s'il vous plaît quelqu'un |
French | J'ai beaucoup de gens qui me soutiennent principalement mon père et mon petit ami Je me suis senti extrêmement suicidaire, surtout aujourd'hui, alors j'ai appelé mon père au travail, et il a semblé déçu. Je me sens déjà pire après lui avoir parlé et plus comme un échec. |
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French | C'est l'anniversaire de New York aujourd'hui et aussi le jour où je devais me suicider Ma dépression a commencé quand j'avais des années, et je me souviens m'être promis que si j'avais encore affaire à ça au moment où j'étais adulte, je me suiciderais Aujourd'hui, j'ai eu des années et la pensée est toujours avec moi, j'ai écrit une note il y a des années et je suis mieux assis dans mon bureau. |
French | Je viens de perdre un autre emploi Je ne peux pas garder un emploi pour ma vie Comment je suis Je suppose vivre Juste quitter mon travail probablement mon travail dans quelques années Je veux juste me tuer si mauvais que c'est la seule chose à laquelle je pense Quelle est la façon la plus facile de me tuer Je suis fait |
French | La vie m'a enchaîné des années Souless respirant un corps mort Pas d'amis Pas d'argent Pas de travail Pas de motivation Dent manquante Santé Anxiété Anxiété dentaire Attaque Panique Peur de devenir aveugle Dépression Pensées catastrophiques Stressé Auto-isolement familial Peur de tout |
French | J'ai réussi à garder ma pensée, j'ai réussi à la garder, j'ai réussi à la garder, j'ai réussi à la garder, j'ai réussi, j'ai réussi, j'ai réussi, j'ai réussi, j'ai réussi, j'ai réussi, j'ai réussi, j'ai réussi, j'ai réussi, j'ai réussi, j'ai réussi, j'ai réussi, j'ai réussi, j'ai réussi |
French | Eh bien, j'ai essayé peu de backstory Je suis en visite nouvelle pour le week-end, et nous sommes au milieu de la ville comme quelques pâtés de maisons de la place du temps, donc tout est grand, y compris les bâtiments Donc, la nuit dernière, j'ai essayé d'obtenir le toit, j'allais le faire, mais la porte était verrouillée, j'avais tout prévu, je vais sauter, mais la putain de porte était verrouillée |
French | Mon colocataire ex GF essaie de se suicider Nous vivions ensemble quand nous avons rompu l'année dernière je suis parti mais je suis revenu pour me soutenir La rupture s'est produite pendant un mauvais moment pour elle financièrement Elle était au chômage et commence juste à trouver un nouvel emploi Elle a déjà un nouveau partenaire, mais elle n'est pas encore à l'aise de vivre avec lui. |
French | Si j'avais une arme de poing d'être mort maintenant La probabilité d'échouer et la douleur par d'autres méthodes est tout simplement trop élevé Je ne veux pas faire un cri d'attention Je veux juste mettre fin à N'importe qui à Sydney veulent me prêter une arme et un tour |
English | I m irrelevant just want to disappear It wouldn't really matter to anyone anyway The earth will keep spinning I'm just done |
English | I may be done Been trying to be positive and hopeful these last few weeks but things weren't going my way I kept on fucking up on things in my life and I don't think I can do anything to make it better any more I've lost the one and only person that keeps me from going insane and frankly I'm just standing outside near the train tacks in front of my apartment just waiting waiting for something maybe that one push to just end it all I've always been optimistic, but I don't know anymore |
English | I really wish I didn't have to deal with the thought of people blaming themselves I can't tell how many times the thought has crossed my mind that if I were to go through with it, it would be terrible for the people around me to blame themselves I really don't wish this upon anyone I could never handle that much guilt But goddammit I would be lying if I said it doesn't get harder to not be selfish like that every day Who knows maybe they won't care |
English | I wasn't in control of myself yesterday Now I'm too tired to really care Still haven't apologized to my family for yelling at them and leaving in the middle of the night for no reason |
French | Je vais me faire sauter la cervelle, mais je n'ai pas d'arme à feu, je ne veux plus vivre, je suis maintenant presque je sais que je suis différent, probablement un sociopathe ou un autiste, ou quelque chose que j'ai essayé de changer et de descendre avec ma meilleure amie, mais parce que sa famille me dérange, c'est ma faute si elle m'a fait changer d'arme. |
English | Cuttingly winded up cutting again |
English | IDK how to keep doing thistles so much pain I just keep wishing it didn't have to be like this I try every day to stop this madness but I can't get out of it it's been months since I was happy maybe even years and all this plain is so hard to deal with I just want it to go away can't someone lie to me and tell me I'm important that I'm valued I forget what it feels like for others to actually be cared for by someone else |
English | I tried to slice my neck but the knife on my Leatherman is a little dull Tried to cut my neck after an event with my stepmom because I was too busy writing my essay for college and didn't answer the door to my room She said that i don't even live in this house and my room should belong to one of my other half siblings who are both under and share a room with each other After screaming to my face and stuff i didn't feel anything just my heart felt very heavy and with the amount of stress I'm having with college I just took my leather man and tried to slice my neck just out of curiosity if I could do it Well turns out it was dull and now my neck is bleeding but not heavily, and it stings I stopped for minutes to continue on my essay and thought I should give it another shot and tried to slice my other side of my neck Nope it's not sharp enough to cut through deep enough Now I have several cuts on both my neck, and they are bleeding and don't know what to do anymore |
French | Je suis et je sens que de cette façon n'ai aucune raison de vivre Je n'essaie pas à l'école Ma sœur est un génie et mes parents sont les personnes les plus strictes Mes notes sont en baisse et je suis sur le point d'échouer chaque classe et tout ce que j'entends c'est comment je suis un perdant J'ai besoin de sortir Je suis paresseux et j'aime fumer des herbes Je fume tous les jours et je peux aider |
English | Only Reddit knows I'm so close to killing myself and no one knows but Reddit My confidence and self-esteem are at an all-time low I don't even want to be alive for my own daughter anymore that has to mean something I can't tell me fiancé or she'll freak TF out and that will in turn only put me farther in the ground than I'm already in Maybe if I force an oncoming traffic accident and die it won't look like a suicide, and they can have the proper closer they need and I'm sure it'll suck for everyone else at first but I sure it'll all be better for everyone else in the end |
English | I don't know My father was abusive He kept a wooden stick on the windowsill of the bedroom my brother and I shared He'd use it if we ever acted out along with yelling at us constantly and putting us down My older brother handled it better than I did I hated my father He put on a show for everyone Get some guests in the house and suddenly he's caring and loving and wouldn't ever touch us I wasn't very social in school I didn't really have any friends there back then so I didn't really have anyone to go to about it, He beat my mother too He would get angry for such minor things and stay angry at her for weeks Sometimes there were a few months of peace but he'd always find something When I was around eight he stole some money from my mom s boss and left the country He left us with a shitload of crap to deal with but at least he was gone Skip forward a few years and here I am two months away from my birthday thinking about killing myself In January the girl I've liked for over a year started going out with my former best friend At the time I hadn't been able to sleep since around New Year s I couldn't explain it I just suddenly felt like I wouldn't be able to sleep again if I tried As soon as I got into bed I would feel intense anxiety my heart would start beating quickly I'd start sweating and I couldn't do anything about it, I feel like I haven't got anyone right now I know my problems right now are trivial compared to a lot of peoples, but I still feel like I cannot handle it anymore I don't have the will to speak to anyone go out with my friends do anything |
French | J'ai perdu presque toutes les raisons pour lesquelles je devais continuer à vivre, j'ai pensé à mettre fin à ma vie tant de fois au fil des ans, mais j'ai toujours eu quelque chose qui m'arrêtait, je savais que si je le faisais au lycée, ma mère serait probablement celle qui me trouverait. |
English | I pretty positive that Monday will finally be the day I've tried hard to embrace living life disabled but after a year I cannot see anything to look forward to I've lost not only my body but my lust and excitement to live and wake up everyday I said to myself if I ever end up a quadriplegic I am ending it I've lived a great life it is time to end it |
French | Je veux que ma mort soit aussi indolore et pas effrayante que possible Je sais qu'il n'y a pas de toute façon pour la rendre agréable, mais je sais qu'un pistolet est rapide, mais est-ce que je sentirais la balle entrer dans mon crâne avec des pilules Je m'endormirais avant de mourir ou y a-t-il une meilleure façon peut-être une intoxication au monoxyde de carbone |
French | Le suicide envisagé beaucoup dans la dernière petite amie mensuelle ne sait pas le Fred que je traverse et tous ceux que j'ai évoqué comment je me sens ces derniers temps, on me dit que je suis égoïste et ne pense qu'à moi-même, elle est dehors ce soir en appréciant Halloween, je suis au lit en train de boire seul avec une forte dose de pilules pour aller avec elle si je ne m'évanouis pas à l'avance. |
English | Overheard my mom talking shit about me on the phone can't say I'm surprised As soon as we get into a fight or even in the days after she always feels the need to call people up and tell them how awful and selfish I am She just loves making people feel bad for her and making herself out to be the victim Here's the part I heard talking about me My name just wants me to spend the rest of my life alone and she doesn't care about my feelings Why did she say this you might ask Because I told her it was pretty shitty of her to leave me at home alone all weekend every weekend and sometimes during the week when I was so that she could go visit my soon-to-be ex stepdad He lives hours away so it's not like she could just come home if I needed her I was completely and utterly alone so many times and wasn't even old enough to drive Also this took place only a year after my father committed suicide and went on for maybe a little more than a year Apparently me pointing out how badly that hurt me is being selfish and wanting her to be alone for the rest of her life No you fucking dumbass It's just kinda hard being and being abandoned by your only parent right after the suicide of your other one I think anyone with half a brain and at least some love for their child could see that Whenever I bring it up she blames me or deflects to something else In the past she was pretty physically abusive, and I can recall her choking me on two separate occasions and she s hit me more times than I can count She's constantly insulting me and tearing me down and I'm sick of it I'm just done My dad was the best parent when he was well He was such a good man And now I'm left with this uncaring drama queen of a mom whose whole life revolves around having a pity party for herself and not giving a shit about anyone but herself The only thing keeping me alive right now is the fact I'll be this month When I turn I'm going to inherit a decent amount of money left to me from my grandpa My mom told me that I should give her the money to help her with her divorce right now and she'll pay me back later Well that's not fucking happening I'm taking the money and I'm leaving to go somewhere I can't be around this toxic woman any more Maybe once I blow through it, I'll take my life but we'll just have to see And if I do take my life I'll make a detailed account of all the horrible things she did that contributed to my suicide so that everyone will know how awful she truly is That way she won't be able to milk it for more pity either What a heartless bitch |
French | Pourquoi tout le monde m'utilise-t-il ? Pourquoi je ne m'intéresse pas ? Ma vie est un cycle de trouver quelqu'un de nouveau puis de le baiser. Tous mes amis ne m'aiment pas, ils m'ont dit en face que j'avais de nouveaux amis et ils ne s'intéressent à moi que lorsque c'est pratique. |
English | The world is Saudi m fucking hurting y all After years of torment and abuse years of me healing that shit alone Years of always being alone I do all I can to get better be better I'm fucking doing the step program and I'm not even addicted to drugs or alcohol though it's true I guess that we are all addicted to something But I'm fucking trying And all I feel is sadness So I look out into the universe begging for some hope, and then I see pain and injustice I can't escape I'm either going to die during a protest and maybe my death can have meaning or I'm just going to blow my worthless brains out because at the end of the day fuck life isn't worth this |
English | I can't do this Life is getting too real for me too fast I can't be the one to figure out how to pay the bills I can't be my mother s caretaker I can't lead this family unit in a direction that will keep us afloat I just can't I can't stay positive in the face of this much adversity I can't be a part of figuring out real life solutions using real life knowledge and wisdom I can't be a leader or even a part of this team but what am I going to do Abandon everyone I can't do that and I have nowhere else to go I don't want to be the teacher of life skills that will get others through the harsh life that is ahead I don't want the responsibility to teach them to rest on me, I don't want the responsibility to learn as much as I can and to work as hard as is necessary for us all to make it to rest on me, I also don't want to work in a team where all of these responsibilities have to be figured out and delegated and such I can't do this I'm not strong enough to do this I just want to run away but there is nowhere to run to I don't want to be a part of the military I just don't want to do what is absolutely necessary to make it I don't even really want to figure out how to make it Life has been too easy for too long Now it feels like every little choice I make how I spend every little second is going to be the difference between making it and not making it There are no things will naturally work out on their own That's not how this works I don't see anyway out but through but I don't want to go through I don't want to suddenly become emotionally responsible for my family I don't want to be anyone s rock I need to escape I cannot handle the life which has been set before me, I cannot handle life as it is in general I don't want to be a part of this mess I can't be I'm too used to coasting along not worried about having my basic needs met or having to take care of anyone or having to teach anyone or having to be emotionally responsible to anyone But there is no way out I have been able to think more clearly now due to better life choices than I've been able to for a very long time The truth is I am horribly immature I'm just now figuring out who I am at I'm constantly worrying about things that fucking teenagers handle way before they ever graduate high school I don't want to embrace this journey I don't want to look forward to an intense period of great personal growth and struggle I can't handle the responsibility of it all I've just been ignoring it for so long desperately hoping my parents would be able to pull through of their own accord while my siblings and I get our shit together There's no time for that any more There's no time for no taking anything seriously any more There is only time for the real life of learning and responsibilities that is set before us and I can't do this I can't even properly act like I've got everything under control like a real fucking mam for my own desperate mother I can't do this I've failed at becoming a real man and now I'm backing away from the challenge I don't know So much of my time and mental energy is spent on things that just don't matter Things I don't even really bother to understand like politics or watching topical shit on YouTube which in the end I don't even really learn from Life itself is far too great a thing for me to be able to deal with To learn from experience is something I've really been struggling with and now that I've quit weed and able to have more real forethought everything I know that life must be is too much I very well may have just fried my brain I don't want to keep on going I don't know what to do I just can't happily embrace what life is now that I've become more clear in my mind Life is too daunting to put my real mental energy into living I can't even take responsibility for holding myself emotionally accountable I am too far gone I can't willingly grasp the real hardships of life I've spent so long dissociated from reality that it s become too much to handle now that I'm back To just shift my attitude to a positive one to a more Stoic rather than anxious one I don't know if I can grow that much I don't think I have it in me to really take the reins and shift my attitude about it, I'm pathetic in that way I know exactly what it is I need to do to embrace all of this head on and come out on top I don't need someone else to tell me how to grow up or that I need to or why I need to I just can't |
French | Je n'ai aucune raison d'être en vie je vais m'énerver ici pour ne pas déranger ou accabler mes amis et ma famille je ne veux pas que quelqu'un me perde son temps lol merci pour des endroits comme celui-ci mais de toute façon plus j'y pense plus je me rends compte que je n'ai aucune raison d'être en vie je ne veux pas mourir je me sens déprimé et anxieux je perds tout mon temps |
English | Life s gone to shit MI ve been contemplating it for the past few months but whenever I'm about to I just can't it's like there's a barrier between my knife and my throat my family problems don't help it to drink problems lies the only thing I can't name are drugs and abuse on that list But I m at the age where I understand what's going on around me and I know I need to let my moms problems be hers and not mine I need to let go and stop trying to protect her And her promises mean nothing to me, it's like I'll prove to you, I can change is just words that are trying to please me I hear it as I'm saying this to try to make you trust me again and it's getting older and older I'm stuck with options Live life through this hell until I can live by myself End it all with a knife to the jugular Leave my current life behind and just get my long board my clothes parents gun emergency money and food then skate away until problems just fade away I have my notes for amp written out and I'm ready to place them on our fridge any day I've just been ready to end it all for a while now |
English | I would like someone to talk too the surface I live a great life I am a year old Austrian guy come from a well-to-do family go to a good school and get decent grades I am well liked but known to be more of a quiet and not so social guy but incredibly intelligent, and I seem to get along with everyone I have my hobbies hiking mountain biking and building Lego sail boats and would be considered far above average attractiveness in terms of my physical appearance by most people amp x B The problem is that on the inside I am a wreck It's hard to even describe how I really am on the inside Recently I have contemplated suicide a couple of times I get anxious and paranoid in social settings I don't feel strong emotional bonds to anyone and spend more time in my head creating idealized versions of my life and the people around me than I do in real life Because of this I feel as though I have nobody to talk to because nobody who knows me would believe me I have tried talking to people in my class however they only see my outside I am terrified of failure and even my own thoughts sometimes I am manipulative and a compulsive liar but nobody sees it I would do anything to look good and the lengths I have gone to do so have always horrified me in hindsight amp x B My outlook on the future is also depressing as I see no point in working hard and getting good grades in school to get into a university to study for years and then to work and be miserable for years to make money to survive and then live out the rest if my life as an old man with no use for any money I end up making amp x B I also daydream and fantasize a lot about how I would like to live but know that I will never be able to achieve my ideals In short I just want to chat to someone who doesn't know me but am too scared to do it face to face Maybe that will stop me from getting suicidal thoughts |
English | Hi Is there anyone to talk to I am years old a girl I really feel like a fuck-up Like a waste of space I've been given everything and turned it into shit And I'm not even depressed any more I just can't be bothered and would rather just end it What is the point you know I don't know |
English | It is becoming apparent that I must kill my self Explanation inside I m years old and whether I want to die or live I must kill myself There are no other option both outcomes of attempting suicide are there and I just have to flip the coin and see I don't want to die I have an infatuation with the world the animals peoples stories and the experiences we can all share I truly wish to stay around and experience it delve into it and worry about death when I'm no longer able to do those things Unfortunately for people like me, it is no longer an option My day to day is existential torture It sounds exaggerated and it is Unless you've been in my situation you could never understand though I sleep too much I m out of bed for maybe hours a day when I'm off work It's disgusting My body rejects its own self and my mind is constantly trying to escape I haven't washed my clothes for weeks on end now I don't have the motivation to Even my work uniform I just douse in body spray and get away with it, I don't eat right In fact my eating is horrible No wonder my body is it's own enemy I eat nothing for days and then the hunger pangs and I will pig out on cheap processed food I can't muster the energy to cook or prepare anything decent My family sucks In fact I ignore most of them A majority are low functioning crackheads who would sooner take me for a ride and all my money with it than just be around for me, I don't get along well with my Mum in fact we hit heads a lot It just depresses me further that my existence is a negative on people Speaking of my mother I have to live with her, It's too expensive to move out The economy is too top-heavy in my country I work hour weeks and couldn't even afford to rent a place or flat let alone purchase a home With all that stress at home you'd think working a job based around my major hobby would be my escape No All that s done is crushed my dreams and hobbies chewed them up and spat me back out a hollow husk of who I was My boss is so moody and strange at the best of times and directs all of it on me, She has her own demons I'm sure though so I don't argue I've taken up smoking weed and CIGS If I don't have weed I'll chain-smoke all night And when I smoke I just sleep anyway I have a dependency and an addiction to these substances I've been denied help by all outlets available to me from being ghosted by therapists friends departing because they don't know how to help and psychologists disregarding anything I say I don't have any more hope beyond killing myself I see it as two paths I die and I am reincarnated, or I go back to where we come from as what or where I do t know and that's what scares me Otherwise I fail and somehow am luckily found in which case I can go into a unit for hours and maybe get medicated or some kind of help if I luck out with who is on shift Otherwise I no longer have hope I'm now brainstorming how to attempt my suicide in a way that there's a decent chance of being found and if not it's painless I've found a solid form of hanging that there's about a minute window people can find and resuscitate you Any longer and you're losing brain function Painless and comfortable I won't explain how but it's my go to for now Not sure why I'm writing this but yeah IDK I just wish I could get help but there is none |
French | null |
English | Seeking Life Advice m one of those people who is I were to kill myself would probably generate the reaction of he had everything going for him which on the surface is somewhat true I grew up without a financial care in the world and went to a top private university As an adult I m in perfect health decent physical shape I'm close with my family have a few perfect friendships and have dated and continue to date accomplished attractive women The problem is that I m in my early s and completely financially dependent on my parents I dropped out of law school a decade ago to pursue my passion of a career in the arts I have received a few legitimate positive notices for my work but it has not generated meaningful commercial interest and after years of honing my craft and putting myself out there I have not made a penny and seem no closer to doing so anytime soon In the meantime I've held down low paying and unpaid jobs and internships I recently quit my job of years at a small non-profit that paid me very little to do clerical tasks I eventually took over a marketing position there when someone else left but knew nothing about marketing was relatively terrible at it and ended up quitting after a year of it with poor performance reviews I'm very shy sensitive feel highly unsuited to office jobs and don't seem to fit in with co-workers I discovered towards the end of my time there that I was being mocked behind my back as though I were still in middle school My degree is in a useless liberal arts field and despite hundreds of job applications I haven't received any responses to the positions I've been interested in applying to probably because of a lack of experience I don't even know what I should be applying to any more My only true passion is my creative pursuits and while I continue to hold out some hope that eventually people will take interest in my creative work it feels like a pipe dream I have no network to draw upon to find good jobs I can't identify a practical graduate degree that I would be interested in attaining At best I can take yet another clerical position somewhere but that just seems like a ticking time bomb I feel horrible guilt and shame at living in a nice apartment that I can't afford I've been in therapy for years and various prescription medications have done little to help I also feel guilty for even having these feelings because other people have had real traumatic experiences in their lives and want to die my suffering pales in comparison and I still think about killing myself all the time I don't want to live a life of a failed dream with zero passions I don't want to be an office drone I want some kind of recognition of my intelligence and creativity and to use it in a way that earns me a decent living Earning money doing something I hate isn't enough My creative pursuits don't satisfy me as just a hobby I know killing myself would hurt those who care about me but I obviously wouldn't feel guilt or anything after I died so is that reason enough to stay alive Should one choose to stay alive for the sole purpose of preventing others from unbearable grief I feel like I'm failing at life and there is no guidance of what to do, and I am a disappointment to my well-adjusted family I often go sleep wishing I won't wake up Life just feels incredibly disappointing and unfulfilling and if I had been given the choice of whether to exist I wouldn't have picked this As I said before I know my problems are very first world but does anybody have any advice on how to move forward from this kind of situation Is there a way to trick my brain into not caring about my passions and finding meaning in a bland existence Thanks for any help advice |
French | Pourquoi ce Subreddit a-t-il le système upvote downvote, je trouve cela assez étrange, c'est comme si les pensées de certaines personnes sur la question étaient plus importantes que celles des autres. Cela implique également que certaines personnes suicidaires sont plus importantes que d'autres. les souffrances de certaines personnes sont plus importantes. |
French | Pourquoi je ne sais pas exactement pourquoi je veux faire cela, je ne suis pas vraiment déprimé, je suis un gars intelligent, je devrais savoir mieux, mais pourquoi ne devrais-je pas m, je n'aime pas ma vie et je ne vois pas ça aller mieux, je n'aime pas la personne que je suis, et je ne le vois pas changer, pourquoi continuer si je dois tout changer? |
English | I don't have control over my body anymore Every month every other month right before my period is due I feel really, really suicidal I feel it taking over my body my thoughts my mind my actions I can't take it anymore Meds don't help I tried to crash my car a couple of times today I'm so fucking sick of my life |
English | Please help It hurts so much I don't actually want to die I just don't want to hurt any more I m in such bad shape and I don't know if I last very much longer My story is long and complicated and I'm about to be homeless, and I don't want to be a burden, but I can't find a job my body can take, and I am about to just end it I have posted about my problems before and ranted and no one every answer I am crying in the dark and I feel all alone |
French | Pourquoi seules les personnes qui se tuent rapidement sont suicidaires Je vois des gens fumer et mourir d'un cancer du poumon dans des années Personne ne dit qu'ils sont malades mentaux Je vois des gens qui ne se soucient pas des soins de santé gratuits et qui votent pour des politiciens qui sont contre et qui ne sont pas en mesure de payer pour cela Personne ne les appelle malades mentaux Pourquoi est-il considéré comme malade mental de vouloir mettre fin à la souffrance mais de ne pas la causer à soi-même? |
French | Trop faible pour mettre fin à ITIN mon cœur Je sais que je ne peux pas le faire C'est affreux parce que maintenant il n'y a pas d'issue Je ne peux pas vivre une vie normale Pas même fonctionnelle Je crée le chaos et blesse quiconque s'approche de moi, Je ne me soucie même pas de les blesser Sinon je ne le ferais pas J'ai traversé trop de lignes pour pouvoir aider mentalement avec qui je suis une mauvaise personne égoïste |
French | Je suis seulement et je suis sur le point d'abandonner, il y a tellement de choses qui ne vont pas mon beau-père abusif, mon père absent, ma mère qui m'aime, mais qui ne m'acceptera pas pour être moi-même, le fait que je peux à peine me regarder dans un miroir, le stress général de l'école, je m'effondre, je ne sais pas à qui parler, la dernière fois j'ai essayé d'obtenir de l'aide. |
English | I'm not going to off myself My granddad did that I won't let my mother lose her father and her son to the same thing But I am completely fucked right now Everything in my life is wrong I've failed out of college I've gained lbs back off of the put so much work into losing I can't find a job I'm still hung up on an ex I'm lower now than I've ever been I don't want sympathy or it'll get better crap but I would love some links to motivational videos cute pictures or any other crap that brings you up when you're down |
English | I'm on the edge For most of the last two years I've had suicidal thoughts and recently it hasn't been helped by the fact that me being with my girlfriend who's bulimic has caused almost all of our friends to betray us and tell all the secrets she's told them and begin spreading rumors around our school about us she's the only one I can talk to about anything anymore please someone talk to me, I cried myself to sleep last night EDIT i don't know what to do she just broke up with me |
French | Est-ce que quelqu'un a déjà été malade à cause des femmes Vraiment, j'ai été si près de mettre fin à ma vie pendant des années Oui, être émoussé sur les femmes Il y a beaucoup de choses avec lesquelles j'ai du mal à autre chose que des femmes Bien sûr, mais il semble vraiment que c'est tout ce que je vis. |
English | It wears me out should have known someone who seemed too good to be true was indeed too good to be true Underneath that white knight armor you're just like the rest an abuser I'm never going to be truly loved My idea of love is unrealistic I suppose that the only way to be loved To leave me when I need someone more than ever to force me to have sex to play mind games with me and mentally abuse me and then turn around acting like nothing happened my fear of men just grows and grows but I m taught that is love and it's that or a life of solitude I can't leave this home which is filled with negative vibes I can't get a full-time job or go back to school which are my two options because my mental state and physical state is so bad that I've already stopped my medicine that I need to take in hopes that it just kills me because I don't see a point in going on Things only get worse and it's not worth suffering for just a few glimpses of temporary happiness cause hell will come tenfold after that little reward to punish me forever believing things would get better I just am too exhausted I just want to belong somewhere to someone and be cherished and taken care of with the acknowledgement that I'm very fragile and broken |
French | Ne vous sentez plus rien Juste engourdi avec l'anxiété constamment en cours d'exécution en arrière-plan Les nuits d'affilée avec des épisodes Je suis si vieux et fatigué de cette merde Je ne pense vraiment pas que je peux le faire plus Ne va pas appeler la hotline ne pense pas que ça va aider |
English | Not One Person in The World Left That Gives Two Shits My two grown kids are starting their new adult lives They barely have time to chat much less visit I m divorced yrs and still haven't gotten a new bf I also have bipolar which gives me less of a chance to have a man ever love me again Mother and sister have borderline and have split me into black white I'm either princess or the devil They go YEARS w o talking to me, I find myself wanting to die more and more often I was in a coma last year due to OD on Klonopin Yet STILL no one makes time for me, I'm totally worthless to everyone and no one to anybody I have only a couple of friends, and they are BARELY and I mean barely friends I'm so fucking lonely the world is sucking me into a black hole to disappear forever The pain is ineffable I just want someone real to care I want a reason to live and I have nothing left I'm going to die alone Mostly likely sooner rather than later Fuck it |
English | Living for others and just drinking myself away because I feel useless Just as the title says I am suicidal but won't do it I love my husband his family and although as someone else s post mentioned we just want to escape the reality we are in |
English | For a while I started to think that maybe suicide wasn't necessary But now I realize it is I was stupid for thinking my life was worth it in the first place At least I still have everything I need packed away in that drawer |
French | Si je mourais, personne ne s'en soucierait, sauf pour les gens, ma mère et ma sœur, mon neveu est seulement trop jeune pour savoir qu'il se demanderait probablement où j'étais, mais c'est comme pour mon père drogué, il vit hors de la ville et tous mes cousins, tantes, oncle, secte, ils vivent tous dans des endroits différents. |
French | Je suis tellement fatiguée que j'ai juste besoin d'évacuer J'en ai marre de la douleur J'en ai marre de ne jamais me sentir assez bien J'en ai marre d'avoir l'impression que je ne mérite rien de bon J'en ai marre d'avoir peur de tout Ce sont des pensées tellement hors de contrôle et je suis vraiment inquiète de savoir où ça va me prendre Je n'ai jamais eu l'habitude de lutter contre ce que je veux |
French | Je veux conduire abandonné à l'école il ya quelques semaines cessé de parler à des amis licenciés de mon travail se battre avec des membres de la famille La seule chose qui m'arrête est que je ne pense pas que le toit de la maison de mes parents est assez élevé pour me tuer |
French | L'espoir est une illusion pour des gens comme moi Il n'y a aucun espoir pour moi, je n'ai jamais eu de vraie relation avec quelqu'un que j'ai abandonné en jouant à des jeux vidéo non-stop et en travaillant dans n'importe quel emploi sans issue que je puisse trouver, mais maintenant je suis fauché et je suis sans abri. |
French | Je suis prêt à m'asseoir ici dans ma voiture en attendant d'aller au travail et tout ce que je peux faire est de penser à si je vais le faire ce soir ou si je vais le faire demain, je n'ai pas de qualité de vie, ma maladie mentale me brise, je ne peux même pas aller dans mon travail sans avoir une crise de panique massive, je ne peux pas me permettre de perdre cet emploi, mais je ne veux pas non plus vivre. |
French | Quel est le point réel dans la vie, je suis presque freshman dans ma communauté collège majeur de musique, je suis en train d'échouer la plupart de mes cours parce que je ne peux littéralement pas essayer ou mettre en effort, je suis passé par le lycée avec un effort minimaliste, et parce que les enseignants m'aimaient, je n'ai aucune idée de ce que je veux faire dans la vie, je rêverais de jouer à des jeux vidéo. |
French | Je sens que je n'ai personne je ne sais pas quoi faire amp je n'ai vraiment personne pour en parler je me bats avec mon trouble de l'alimentation plus que jamais ces derniers temps et ça commence vraiment à m'ennuyer Non seulement j'ai été propre de couper depuis plus d'un an maintenant et les envies ne sont pas là encore je les déteste tellement Tout cela est si difficile à gérer et surtout je n'ai pas d'environnement favorable autour de moi |
French | Je suis trop fatigué pour faire quoi que ce soit m désolé si je suis rambling ou si c'est difficile de comprendre que je suis terrible avec des mots je suis juste épuisé je n'ai pas assez d'énergie pour faire quoi que ce soit je suis en échec à l'école je n'ai qu'un seul ami et ma famille ne se soucie pas beaucoup de moi, je suis deux ans en retard parce que je suis malade à l'école je suis |
English | Why is suicide not allowed In some countries suicide is considered a crime but I am talking about developed countries here Why is suicide not permitted It's enforced as if it were a crime but not punished to the same extent Just a bit of context here I guess I have attempted at my life multiple times before I've been in the hospital three times twice on the psychiatric ward for suicidal ideations or attempts After my first hospitalization for weeks I was sent to a youth custody facility Sentenced there by a judge until youth protection deemed it to be okay for me to leave I get that they are trying to protect people but the conditions there are horrible I just don't get why they are trying to protect people from themselves What's so wrong about ending one s life Why do we have freedom if we can't fully decide our own fate I know that if I were to commit suicide that it would greatly affect my family but sometimes I just don't care I just want to end my own suffering And just because of that authorities put me into facilities that cause me even more suffering I just don't understand how this cycle is supposed to make any sense What do we owe to anyone that we have to stay alive |
English | I need some advice on dealing with my feelings I'm not really suicidal I'm sorry I've been there on the edge a long time ago and I've made the choice to come back But sometimes I'm just so tired with living Sometimes I make dumb mistakes that ruin days or weeks or even entire months These mistakes happened before, and I don't know why I keep making them again and again Calamities after calamities They keep blindsiding me and I'm not strong enough to take them on all the time I become so disappointed with myself that I go to the lengths of questioning whether there is a point to even living when I don't learn anything out of life I get terribly anxious when I imagine being struck by the same frustrations and the same let-downs will recur until the day I die It gets to the point where I can't even laugh at myself any more I just feel like something inside me has resigned itself and stopped bothering I imagine being the same imbecile forever and I arrive at hey why bother going on when nothing really changes and it doesn't really get better TL;DR I need help dealing with these thoughts I need a prayer or something to convince myself that this really isn't the case Thank you |
English | Need help or ideas so about two weeks ago my girlfriend and I broke up we have been together for two years this was the first person I really loved, but now she is gone also she was my only friend so that leaves me with absolutely no one, and it just makes me want to die I fucking hate living and all I ever do think about it dying, so I just don't know anymore |
French | Il est désespéré foutu vers le haut tellement j'ai eu tellement de chances de fixer des choses et je n'ai jamais fait n'importe quoi son désespéré et effrayant tout semble trop réel et trop irréel je n'ai pas été réveillé depuis des années et le petit moment sim réveiller dans la réalité sont effrayants et insupportables son désespéré je suis assis sur le sol de ma salle de bain au milieu de la nuit je veux pleurer mais ne peux pas faire ce que je suis faible |
French | Putain cette merde je vais le faire |
French | J'ai découvert il y a quelques minutes que mon meilleur ami depuis l'enfance a décidé de prendre assez d'Open s pour tuer un éléphant avec une belle perruque de Jim, je suis complètement perdu quant à ce qu'il faut faire parce qu'il ne montrait aucun signe d'être malheureux, je suis désolé si ce n'est pas l'endroit pour poster ceci, mais je pourrais vraiment utiliser des conseils sur la façon de gérer cela. |
French | Il n'y a pas d'espoir pour moi après quatre ans de thérapie en sortant de l'alcool et de la drogue avec l'aide de mon petit ami et de mon meilleur ami, je suis toujours déprimé, je pensais que la thérapie m'aiderait, mais rien ne peut m'aider, je souffre de trouble bipolaire et d'anxiété aussi, après quelques tentatives de suicide, je veux le faire à nouveau, je veux faire de la drogue et de l'alcool. |
English | I just drank pills of Tylenol threw up, and my head feels heavy grandma grandpa I'm sorry I'm not going to heaven with you guys I'm going straight to hell I'm scared I don't want to end up on the hospital again I just want the pain to end dad I'm sorry I know it was close to your birthday, but I can't do it anymore I'm a failure to my friends I'm also sorry you guys were amazing I love all of you to my boyfriend I'm sorry I said I liked you a part of me was lying I'm not sure whether I actually did like you or was just desperate Mom mommy I love you please don't die I would hate that I love you mom I'm scared it really hurts I'm sorry mom I love you so much, but I don't want to suffer any more I'm selfish I know please understand me mom mom mommy I love you I'm sorry everyone I'm sorry I really am I really am just a failure I'm sorry Goodbye |
French | Je ne poste pas ici pour aider les gens, alors je me sens mal de faire une page alors je m'excuse pour ça je viens d'éteindre trois cigarettes sur ma hanche et l'adrénaline ou quelque chose m'a vraiment donné envie de me baiser. |
English | lost If anyone knows how I can distract myself please help I have been shitty as a person in the past to my boyfriend and in general I have borderline personality disorder and an insanely unstable self identity I often feel like I am not my own person but instead a mix of people and things that surround me Anyway My childhood was messy addict mom moved many times etc And now I have continuously fucked up my romantic relationship Three years together now and its taken me too long to understand how horrible I am All of my guilt piled up, and I told my boyfriend pretty much every little thing I felt guilty about Many issues related to my identity and attention issues Anyway it was a rough two weeks full of self-pity suicidal thoughts panic attacks and I still can't find myself able to clear my mind It is like I need to tell him every little detail about the bad things I've done The point of this is I need to figure out how to distract myself from my guilt without feeling like I'm hiding anything from my boyfriend I just feel eternally fucked up honestly Seeing a therapist Tuesday, and I am on meds I think this is just something I have to deal with on my own I am my own person after all This turned into something longer than I wanted Anyway I just need to forgive myself and not wish for death |
English | I'm on the verge I'm female and I don't care for anything The reason being how spiteful and aggressive I have become towards anyone I used to be a shy well-educated kid with friends well basically a normal life then I just started getting disappointed over and over to where I am now I hate being touched hate being around people and I will lash at anyone that tries to annoy me This sadness that was dwelling inside me has turned into anger and I can't stand it My parents constantly compare me to my sis how she's always studying and having good grades and I have nothing to brag about Very mediocre grades no hobbies I've been called beautiful several times but that's it That's all I have looks what a mess At this point I'm not even mad about it any more I just laugh to myself and ignore it but I'm absolutely sick of everything I don't care about anything friendships relationships school etc. My dog died he was my only friend that didn't mock me or insult me, and now I have nothing again I don't care if I hurt or destroy my family I want to be selfish I wasn't meant to be born cause clearly the world needs capable functioning contributing human beings, and I am not one of them therefore I'm not needed I hate everything so much if I had a rope in front of me right now I'll happily end myself ASAP fuck this |
French | J'ai maintenant le pouvoir de me tuer moi-même, de me débarrasser de ma vie de la terre, c'est finalement possible pour moi, alors que je pourrais ne pas le faire aujourd'hui, parce que ma maison est une maison de table, et que je n'ai pas appris à mettre en valeur cette vie, je pourrais peut-être le faire maintenant que ma maison est une maison de table, mais je n'ai pas appris à mettre en valeur cette vie. |
French | Je n'ai pas réussi à me tuer il y a quelques semaines d'une façon ou d'une autre Je suis attardé et j'ai échoué J'allais sortir de la façon classique de vous pendre Je suis allé dans un parc et dans une forêt ou plutôt juste beaucoup d'arbres Je suppose que ce n'est pas vraiment une forêt C'était la nuit donc j'avais finalement sauté la clôture Il faisait sombre et je n'ai pas choisi une branche forte |
English | I'm slipping and I'm afraid Part of me wants to live Part of me wants to fight Part of me sees my potential and wants to strive to reach it But I've been slipping further towards my death I've made attempts in the past Overdoses mainly It was a surprise when I survived each time I was content as I shut my eyes and waited for things to end My most recent overdose I was nearly sure it'd be fatal as it wasn't a spontaneous attempt and I had done quite a bit of research I'm still not sure how I survived I feel like another attempt is building up I've been making arrangements for it and sometimes like as I write this I'm afraid I feel like it's going to happen and my plans this time are with a method that would only fail if there's a miracle seconds of intent and I'm unconscious with being a vegetable in less than minutes and being dead in less than more minutes If I can make it through those seconds without backing out I'll die unless someone interrupts me I'm not rushing into this so I'm pretty sure I'd be able to guarantee my privacy I'm intelligent generally pretty kind decently attractive and good at almost anything I put my mind to but sometimes I just can't see any hope It doesn't help that my depression and anxiety issues have manifested into pretty severe agoraphobia either Sometimes I wish I could just go get therapy but I can't even manage the go part except on rare occasions There's only one person I know that I have enough rapport built up with that I really feel like I can talk to and they went full non communication weeks ago They told me it was for my benefit too acting like it would help me To have a friend that I trusted was what was helping me though Having someone to play online games with and talk to was helping me Always losing everyone I feel close to doesn't help I feel like a prisoner stuck in a cell of my own making I want to escape I want to find love I want to have children someday and try to give them all the happiness I couldn't find for myself I know I can survive but I believe I can't I know I can do great things but I believe I can't I know I can do things to improve my situation but I believe I can't I'm tired of fighting myself |
English | I tried and tried but the time has come tried I really did I've been going to counseling But I can't I just can't do it I feel miserable all the time to the point I can't do anything I feel that my head is full of noise I can't think clearly at all I found someone someone that made me feel the best and the worst Being by her side made me feel happier than ever before At the same time so miserable because I knew from the start that this was not meant to be it was a series of unfortunate events that led to this That made me realize what it really means to love someone I had given up hope and made a habit of being miserable She made me realize how miserable I truly am I hate her and love her so much for that No I really hate myself for building upon false hope for clinging to my warped thoughts I don't want to be a drag any more I m been such a failure I've been given more opportunities than I truly deserved I have squandered a vast portion of my life I don't want to keep going I can't stop thinking about this all the time The thought of ending it all is always on the back I can't get it out It has been there for so long I can't stop dreaming about it every night I tried to reach out but it's not working I want to go home for good this time I've tried before and these are the only moments I can remember when I truly felt at home and at peace I want to go for good I know this is the most selfish thing I could do But I'm tired of living to everyone s expectations I hate how they told me how special I was when all I wanted to be was a regular failure I can't catch up any more I'm tired of pretending and trying I had a good run I overstayed my welcome I was not meant to be since the very beginning I always felt that way When I found out my life began to make some sense All I want to do is to go home and yet here I am writing this pathetic rant to a crowd of strangers I tired of always feeling out place of always feeling broken and sick tired of hearing condescending advise on how I should suck it up or that somehow things will get better I tried I really did I followed their advice and this has been building for way too long I want to release it all at once This is my pathetic attempt of taking what is rightfully mine and do as I please I'm sorry you know I tried you saw it but I have to go now I want to go home for good I already have my guide by my side Please forget about me and keep going don't stop to look back I was nothing but a small footnote in your life Please forget about me and carry on I know you can do it without me |
French | Je suis bizarre et les Saoudiens font des blagues bizarres parce que j'ai une envie pressante et maintenant beaucoup de gens la plupart des gens qui me connaissent me détestent et me combattent quand je suis bizarre, j'ai été signalé tellement de fois que je ne peux pas arrêter d'être bizarre, donc fondamentalement, je n'ai pas d'amis et déprimé, je veux me suicider. |
French | Ma santé physique n'est pas grande et je vais vivre le reste de ma vie dans la douleur, j'ai heureusement tout donné pour élever mes enfants, ils ont toujours été et sont toujours avec mes petites-filles, ma vie entière, mon fils me déteste et ma fille m'aime vraiment, mais surtout ne me garde que pour ce qu'elle peut obtenir, j'ai échoué, j'ai été mentalement et physiquement abusé. |
French | Avez-vous déjà senti que la seule raison pour laquelle vous ne l'avez pas encore terminé est que vous voulez vous venger de certaines personnes, j'ai l'impression que c'est la seule chose qui m'empêche de mettre fin à ma vie? |
English | I m done Check my post history I've gone through I m done |
French | null |
English | Going to flunk my exams and be kicked out just want to die There's no point Death is the most attractive way out |
English | Quick question m not going to kill myself or cut myself, although I did or anything I just find this thought coming back to me constantly after I get out if school work in a job for the rest if my life I'll live in a retirement home for ten years and die I am not special They re is no goal in life for me, I'm pretty much just watching the world die On a phone sorry for grammar |
English | I'm a piece of shit thief Hi I'm going to be honest throughout this post I came upon very hard times recently and had a terrible addiction that I have gotten help and gotten over Over the past months I had been writing checks to myself from a stack of checks I had from an elderly lady The money was used to feed my addiction which I know is irrelevant and does not make a difference About months ago after I got help and stopped my addiction I also stopped writing the checks and have not done it since and actually destroyed and got rid of the stolen checkbook I had completely also because I felt terrible I just couldn't stop myself when I was an addict recently was contacted by social services that they are investigating me for crimes against the elderly And guess what That elderly person is my grandmother She cares for me so much, and I did this My mother found out today and told me I can't even look at you, I'm so disgusted I don't have anything I don't have motivation I am so fucking depressed that I was stealing money, so I could feed my addiction to make myself a little happy for a while I'm so depressed I don't want to work wake up do anything I want to sit in a closet every day in the dark Probably just end it so my parents aren't ashamed |
English | Advice Food for thought Hi SW Not sure if this belongs here but after something I went through last night I thought I should share it with you, I regularly suffer from depression and debilitating anxiety which can often lead me to suicidal thoughts, but I try to keep it to myself I'm writing to SW today about sort of epiphany that I had last night after getting a natural high from doing something I used to enjoy I have intense focus which on the one hand means I can accomplish a great deal of things if I really set to work at it On the other hand this means that if I get fixed on self-deprecating thoughts I turn into an insecure emotional train wreck So in the midst of one of these pointless speculative thinking sessions I seem to go on just trying to sleep last night I d decided that I d really had quite enough of this bullshit and got out of bed sat down to my computer and tried instead to focus on a project that I was working on the other day before she moved in since I wouldn't be sleeping anyway This ended up being a really solid move for me, It wasn't anything super complicated just a little software project I was already halfway finished with that was only going to take about hours to code I was frustrated with some routines which is why I hadn't already finished it and decided it wasn't going to fix itself and since I wouldn't be getting any sleep anyway why not I get high from solving problems achieving a higher understanding of something or just finishing something that takes a lot of time and effort Something I learned the other day is that high is a legitimate opiate high dopamine your brain gives you when you accomplished things like this Your body is capable of rewarding you with these dopamine highs instead of the nauseating lows I know some of you are in right now Writing software demands such intense focus that you seriously can't do it and think about anything else at the same time which is wonderful There's always failures just like with anything else, but the learning experience gives me a legitimate body rush When do you finally accomplish a goal you feel fucking awesome for it So that's it I'm not saying software is the answer but for anyone interested I know you guys are pretty smart, so please check out r learn programming HTTP WWW Reddit com r learn programming and learn to do something fun new and incredibly profitable I know what it's like to be at the end of my rope and while I don't suffer from chronic physical ailments like I know some of you do this might still help some of you too I just thought this might help someone who needs a new direction or maybe just some inspiration or just some light at the end of this damned tunnel It can be hard to dust off the old workbench and set to work on something that used to bring you joy or might bring you joy, but I assure you it's totally worth it In fact there's a little part of me that thinks this might be my only way out of here out of this rut It might feel a little contrived but at this point in my life that isn't a problem for me, It's just that much better than the alternative which is a problem for me So I finished my project last night It seems to work the way I wanted it to, and I learned some new things I actually felt good about myself for the first time in days and promptly sent myself to bed Slept like a baby woke up feeling great decided I should share It's funny because there's enough on my plate right now that I should just learn to get some things done I have intense memories of doing this in the past just writing about it, I've been chronically depressed for a very long time, and it seems to me that maybe I should just let people who are new to this know how I've to be able to cope and listen to people more myself Try new things especially things you know are beneficial to you because it probably isn't something you will regret I'm prone to hobbies but perhaps some people aren't You might set to work doing something new you might enjoy like a hobby or a game move to a new place do tedious or manual labor for karma or profit even buying things you know you'll enjoy like the most comfortable shoes you can find or a better chair for your back pays off incalculable ways Walking ten blocks walk forty You would not regret buying a bicycle if you used it frequently or riding the thing up a mountain for matter If you don't have a job take any job you can find take two If you don't like any of them quit Do things that bring you joy especially in the long term Make investments in yourself emotionally financially academically etc. I wonder if happiness isn't just accepting that this future is yours and everyone's Hopes this helps someone Good luck SW TL;DR can't break the cycle of vicious self-deprecating thoughts in your head Try r learn programming HTTP WWW Reddit com r learn programming or another hobby that demands too much focus to be dwelling on your struggles Food for thought Edit s Major redactions for personal reasons figured I should leave anything substantial or relevant to the end make some additions |
English | A Popular YouTuber committed suicide and I'm really just thinking about myself I've posted here before Lots of times I've gone on about why I feel suicidal and how I don't believe suicide is the wrong choice for some people So don't think I'm only posting here because his death made me want to talk about things Anyway I admire his courage I am far too afraid to kill myself even though I know I should I'm bitter that this person is getting so much attention on social media so much affection on social media I'm jealous I want a modicum of that affection And, yet I know that if I got it is wouldn't matter because I'll only accept it if it comes from certain people the ones I seemingly arbitrarily decided to declare important I deserve to die, and yet I live When I m gone I know no one will mourn the same way for me P S I want to warn everyone on social media sharing the suicide hotlines and all that about how those hotlines are terrible for helping those in need as most of us have found out But I don't want to deal with all that |
English | Small things that make u even feel worker to leave this sick world Today I went grocery shopping for my mom i wasn't not in the mood but she couldn't go so I had to go I was just wearing a hoodie with a legging just basic and all covered up I got catcalled by men I felt so not comfy and miserable about myself but I ignored it and walked forward Not mins later again I got catcalled again this time by teenagers Maybe y'all won't understand but i don't like attention and i didn't wear anything to seek attention for Like I said I was already not in the mood have so many things on my mind and I needed to cry because of a stupid catcalling Now I am here in my bed and thinking about everything what's going on my life It's so hard for me I'm fucking exhausted I just want to stay home and fucking die Why don't men understand that catcalling is not done Why do y'all need to say stuff about a woman her body parts And why aren't others helping People always enjoying watching others or they just laugh |
French | Étrange Salut juste une petite question pourtant évidente si les pensées créent la réalité alors pourquoi penser de vous tuer ne le crée pas, donc je sais qu'il y a beaucoup de facteurs, mais si j'y pense et ensuite l'essayer et survivre alors pourquoi je me demande souvent pourquoi le tourment est une leçon de rappel vers l'échec je regarde juste la vie que j'ai vécue, et ça me rend malade donc je ne me suis pas rendu compte que je n'ai pas conduit à l'hôpital et faux mensonge à vivre |
French | Je suis laid et mon visage a été détruit BCO de l'acné Je ressemble à de mon enfance et l'acné a détruit cette merde aussi Adieu aide mondaine Mais une fois que j'ai regardé dans la réalité qui me fait peur, et je reçois des pensées pour le suicide |
English | I don't know why I'm posting here I don't know why I am typing this out Maybe this is just another cry for help or maybe it's easier to talk to strangers I taught myself to tie a noose today My father hung himself so maybe like father like son is accurate here I could do it at work easily They'd find me at the end of my shift I'd have hours to cash out my chips It would be easy I've been sure it's some sort of depression or something since my youth but I can't afford help I can't fix myself I have been working on trying to make myself better Cutting back drinking Losing weight It isn't working And I find myself spending more and more time each day regretting my existence I feel like a burden I m and nothing to show for it Like literally nothing The job I worked hard for over six years decided I wasn't worth the promotion I don't even drive my mother was an alcoholic that never had a license and father took his life when I was young No way to learn I don't know what I'll do at work today My guess is my job and nothing more I'll talk myself down again and just exist in mental misery Maybe just posting this here will exercise that demon for the time being and I'll be able to press on another day |
French | null |
English | Does anyone else say if x happens I'll kill myself if it doesn't I wont Just wondering if anyone else uses luck as a way of deciding like I did when I was I said if I fail the test I would kill myself but I got an A so i didn't and thought of it as a religious thing by I've done it again and my tickets didn't arrive |
French | Je vais vérifier je suis sérieusement fait avec tout ce que je me sens vraiment coupable car j'ai eu beaucoup donné à moi et j'ai eu de la chance, mais je ne peux pas plus je ne me sens pas comme je rentre dans n'importe où je suis fatigué d'être seul mais je n'ai pas de vrais liens avec quelqu'un que je me sentirai si coupable parce que mes parents et les tantes je pense que je suis en train de vérifier, mais je ne peux pas |
French | Je ne veux pas que quelqu'un m'entende même si je suis tout ce que je veux, je veux plus que tout, je veux être tenu et pleurer, je veux que quelqu'un me déteste, je veux que tout le monde me déteste, je veux que tout le monde me déteste, je veux que tout le monde me déteste, je veux que tout le monde me déteste, je veux que tout le monde me déteste, je veux que tout le monde me déteste. |
Subsets and Splits