language
stringclasses 2
values | text
stringlengths 4
22.6k
⌀ |
|---|---|
English | I think ill kill my self this weekend tired of these emotions if being human means feeling all this shit then I'm not down this ride I want someone dm so they can tell my story or what ever just so people who ask why he does it he was so young and had so much potential aren't left with the impression that I had a chance at being happy i don't want to talk someone who wants to talk me out of it I want someone who will listen ND tell my story those I love or the news or what ever |
French | null |
French | Drunk amp Lonely Encore en vie pour l'instant Bonnes années tout le monde |
French | null |
English | I don't want to died don't want to die I want happiness I want that little kid I once was to know what it's like to be in love with living To smile at the sun every day to find someone to love to be fulfilled But I can't It isn't an option The universe is telling me to kill myself in every little thing I'm getting closer to listening It's getting worse I want to give that kid the life he once deserved But I'm powerless |
English | I hate miss you so badly years old and I live with my parents not that that's a horrible thing in and of itself but my relationship with them has been turbulent since before I can remember they've kicked me out as a form of tough love a couple of times and brought me back in after being homeless for a while I'm drifting away against my will from my friends and family I wonder if I ever loved anybody I used to be best friends with my sister now every conversation is awkward I'm getting more and more awkward in general its getting harder for me to make eye contact it's as if I'm staring into the sun I feel like imp laying the sims like my mind is the user and my body is the sim I visit people just to fill my sims social meter so he doesn't get sad I listen to music smoke pot and play video games to keep my sim amused anything that I'm passionate with is hard to share with others like its unreliable and I can't share thoughts without feeling like I'm talking their ear off and they're just listening out of politeness I feel the most lonely when I'm with my friends and family loneliness comes in waves im getting colder as imaging and i don't know how to act in accordance with that I need to love and I need to love I've had my heart broken too many times and made a fool of myself too many times to try and meet new people ID be whoring out my sim |
English | What's the point m tired of constantly crying I'm tired of feeling attacked on every front I'm tired of then getting help from people and just not being able to trust them anymore I'm tired of closing my eyes and thinking that it'll feel better in the morning than waking up and realizing that it feels even worse I'm tired of that feeling normal If a panic attack happens every day it's not a panic attack It s Tuesday If something triggers you repeatedly and constantly it's not a trigger it's the A button on a gaming console It's not normal It's not ok But everyone thinks it's ok But they don't and they'd be mad at me if I said that they think it's ok But in the end it'll just continue It will always continue Several months ago I started writing a note I almost left home and tried to end it all Someone called me right beforehand and stopped me from going outside I'm much safer now I've never attempted I've never cut Now I don't even really want to die But in the middle of the night half asleep I remember And I don't have a plan to die Maybe that s because I'm too strong Or too weak Or both Who knows But I don't want to be here I don't deserve what I have but I also don't deserve to lose what was taken from me, I could call a crisis text line Some of those people are amazing Some are probably really stressed haha and because I'm not actively about to off myself it's maybe comparatively less priority for them In April and May I texted a crisis line times in days That's not a crisis that's a yoga class I know the drill You should talk to a therapist You should create a plan for activities that you want to do Something that you can watch to calm yourself down Talk to some community therapy groups Here are some resources on being ace since sometimes I'll share that I wonder if I'm asexual Something to distract you If you constantly intentionally distract yourself for months then what does that say about your actual life You never grow You never improve You're constantly in a holding pattern waiting for the nuclear wasteland that is your heart to lose enough radiation for civilization to start again Pushing people away Terrified of pushing more people away All the while feeling wronged even more hurt and tormented Blocked by some on social media Too afraid to block others Told that telling people about your suicidal thoughts is not acceptable and borderline blaming me for my thoughts Telling me that it's easier to block me than to hear me complain about it See I don't understand the world I don't understand the meaning of space or relationships or how people work or what acceptable behavior is It's my fault I don't consult my therapist enough even though I meet him every week and in May met him three times a week I don't clamor for medication See I don't want to get better Nothing is going to happen to me because nothing ever happens to me, I went two weeks actively hoping I got run over by a car went for a three-hour walk without my phone wrote a suicide note and nothing I don't have a scar a blemish a single permanent reminder of what happened I can erase this entire narrative if I wanted See I choose not to move on Clearly Honestly I almost expect to be attacked or ignored in the comments I've probably said something horrible again I don't know what because I don't understand anything Oh and I'm enormously privileged I'm not too poor I have an advanced degree I can make money from home I can live safely during COVID without going outside Which is just as well since I can't step outside without feeling like bursting into tears I've done different things in the last six months Personal projects Applying for jobs Writing If you called me you might not know this is how I feel So nothing is going to happen to me But I'm still half asleep and I don't see a way out Maybe something should happen to me, I don't want to die But I don't see a way out Now if this gets posted it means that I waited seconds and then didn't delete all this I'm sorry |
English | Why do I only want to talk about killing myself when I am drunk or high I only ever want to talk when I am fucked up Right now I am drunk last night I was high the night before that I was high but I all the nights I was sober i didn't want to say shit Now it's like I want to blabber my mouth off of my fucking face What is with this basic shit |
French | N'est-ce pas drôle comment la mort est censée être effrayante Je suis allé dans une maison hantée avec un ami et le thème était la mort et c'était censé être effrayant honnêtement Je pensais que c'était hilarant parce que mon seul but dans la vie est d'être mort |
English | Tried to kill myself today but I got too scared I tried talking to my mom about my suicidal thoughts, and she said she would be glad if I did it and that I was a bipolar liar so I tried to kill myself today by hanging myself but I got too scared, and it was so painful I stopped now my ears are filled with immense pressure like I'm perpetually ascending on an airplane or something I wish I could go through with it |
French | Je ne peux pas faire cette haine de ma vie et je ne peux pas rester plus j'aimerais pouvoir avoir le courage d'y mettre fin |
English | I still miss her Sorry for anyone who doesn't care this is the only way I can vent So back in I had my first girlfriend who I caught feelings for really quickly everything was great for months but on The the of August I made a decision that I would regret I broke up with her because I didn't want to be constantly bothered because this was when I had finally saved up enough money to buy a computer, and I was just caught up in it, I'm so fucking selfish it's actually sad I later realized my mistake only for her to reject my apology because she had started talking to someone new Ever since then I have been nothing but depressed and I still miss her to this day I graduated last year and still don't have a job all friends have basically left because of how fucking pathetic I am because I didn't speak to them over the Christmas holidays and think I'm a loser Serves me right for being a scumbag I don't know what to do guys I don't have anyone to talk to or anything my parents wouldn't understand because I told them how much she was in the wrong, and they believe a pathetic self centered loser who hasn't had a girlfriend since I was I'm sorry |
English | I think my friend may have committed suicide, or maybe she is in rehab I don't know My online friend who lives in Florida I live in jersey haven't responded since Saturday a few days before that I found out she tried to commit suicide that's why I haven't heard from her, but I thought it was her phone because she stated that she had broken it with all of these recent events I think she maybe has committed I'm really worried, and I only have her first name I can't just call and ask them to do a wellness list when I have no info I'm really scared |
English | Loki hung myself last night, but the chair rocked and came back to the same position The adrenaline kind of jolted me out of it and I couldn't do it again I was hanging by my neck for a good seconds though Now I have a massive rope mark around my neck I don't know why I'm telling anybody this |
English | French girl in BIG chitin in shit Because I am shit My life is shit My family is shit When i breath shit But everything it's okay Why Because I'm born in shit So Fuck off I'm going to get drunk and high in shit and with shit Anand I'm going to die like a piece of shit Btw yes my English is shit too |
English | I m dying Help |
French | La vie n'a plus de qualités rédemptrices Je suis un toxicomane en méthamphétamine J'ai été diagnostiqué avec BPD dépression majeure dysthymie TDAH et trouble d'anxiété généralisée et plus probablement que je ne peux pas penser Je sais que les statistiques de suicide pour BPD seule comprendre mais avec tout le reste J'ai perdu espoir J'ai perdu espoir J'ai perdu mon sang J'ai perdu mon sang J'ai perdu mon sang |
French | Je suis en crise mais ce post ne m'aidera pas J'ai besoin de quelque chose dans la vraie vie Quelque chose de gratuit et naturel comme un ami FUCK L'INPATIENT ER FUCK et FUCKTARD ART CLASS FUCK LE GOUVERNEMENT ET FUCK LE SYSTME Venez à ma porte, et nous pouvons décoller Ou pouvons-nous tous être amis |
English | I'm coming off my antidepressants because I'm on them for all the wrong reasons want to kill myself and I want to self harm again and all that shit you've probably seen on here before But I can't be on antidepressants any more I'm only on them to make myself easier for other people to handle me but Its against my morals and if I decide to kill myself that's my choice i don't care anymore If people can't handle my emotions I'll be on my own I'm used to it by now i don't need anyone whatever Bye |
French | Y at-il une façon indolore que je suis fait chaque fois que je poste il est ignoré juste me donner quelques conseils noyer quoi que ce soit c Mon |
French | J'ai juste besoin que quelqu'un ait un convoi qui n'ait parlé à personne depuis des semaines et je me saoule tous les deux jours. |
French | J'étais aveugle mais maintenant je peux voir la question de moins de deux ans Perdu un travail de rêve que j'aurais pu offrir l'aide dont j'avais besoin pour être repoussée bien qu'il ait été offert plusieurs fois Perdu ma femme de soutien qui est allée au bord du gouffre pour m'aider du mieux qu'elle pouvait, Elle m'a vraiment aimée Maintenant elle a peur que je ne la blâme |
French | Je sais que je suis égoïste pour mettre fin à ma vie, mais je ne suis pas sûr de savoir comment je peux justifier continuer à souffrir, exactement comme mon titre, je suis désolé, j'ai entendu beaucoup de gens me dire que je ne devrais pas sortir, je suis désolé, je suis désolé, je ne veux pas souffrir, je ne veux pas blesser quelqu'un, je suis désolé, je suis désolé, je suis désolé, je suis désolé, je suis désolé, je suis désolé |
French | null |
English | Some company Would be much appreciated right now |
English | LOOK INTO ANTHONY William everyone I know that you all have tried a lot of things and are hopeless and at the end of your ropes, but please look into Anthony William AKA medical medium He talks about depression in depth and how it's related to heavy metal toxicity I realize that depression and mental illnesses are complex but I'm certain that most of you have heavy metal toxicity Please try to follow the protocol of eliminating heavy metals and all my positivity and appreciation to you Depression and anxiety are real and I'm so sorry you have to go through this I wish you healing and a second chance at life Sincerely A stranger who doesn't want you to die |
English | Tired of being nothing just don't care any more I'm tired of days that turn into weeks that turn into months with nothing going on I've lost all hope and all motivation Watching people around me succeeding living the life I want to live a life which I feel I should point out is far from extravagant combined with my getting punished for attempting to do the same has stripped away any semblance of light left in my heart The only reason I'm still here is I couldn't bear to put that level of heartbreak on my grandmother I m her only grandchild, and we are very close but once she is gone I have no reason to be here any more There is no place for me in this world My existence was a mistake and it s time I got the hint |
French | Je reste debout toute la nuit et je dors toute la journée Se sentir fatigué tout le temps Se sent comme la seule façon que j'ai réussi à passer beaucoup de jours est en dormant à travers eux, je me sens toujours épuisé quand je suis éveillé Mais pour une raison quelconque, je ne me sens pas aussi déprimé quand je suis éveillé la nuit, même si je suis encore fatigué, c'est comme si j'étais fatigué. |
English | Suicide hotline hours I was looking at suicide hotlines in CA and a lot of them said like am midnight weekdays that concerns me what if I'm feeling suicidal before or after then please correct me if I'm just reading things wrong I find it hard to believe that these hotlines would really not be here for you, I'm very confused |
French | Je suis prêt à mourir est-ce que je me donne le temps jusqu'à Noël de vivre ma vie comme je peux Mais jusqu'à ce moment-là, j'ai décidé de mourir J'ai tout planifié et tout pris en charge Que dois-je faire jours avant de mourir |
English | I think I found a draft of my dads suicide letter don't know what to do I'm visiting my father currently and went into his room to see my cat On his drawer I caught a glimpse of a note with my name and my sisters written on the top I read a bit and the first line was if you are reading this I am dead I couldn't read any further and ran out I know my dad has been severely depressed He lost the love of his life my stepmother last October It was sudden she had health issues, but we thought she'd have more time They got married only months before It's not something I'd wish on anyone to see the person they loved for over years die so suddenly I'm currently shaking and searching as to what to do I can't bring it up to him Every time I've mentioned his depression or what happened he shuts me out instantly He s told me to leave when I tried to get him some help I knew it was bad but I didn't think I'd see that Does anyone have any ideas I'm completely lost I'm so scared of what he has planned He told me recently that he s purchased a passport and was going in his words somewhere anywhere not sure After seeing this now I fear the worst If anyone has any ideas as to what I can do I d love to hear them Please |
English | I'm scared to call the hotline what am I afraid of Why won't I just call Why do I fear it more than pain more than whatever I am now I don't get it |
English | Fuck my liven one likes me I am a fat dump retard I don't have any close friends and I disappoint everyone I knew I don't even think anyone would be sad if I just kill myself I mean or people probably pretend so because they feel like they have to but no one really cares I have nothing to live for this wouldn't be that bad but my derealization parents and school fucks me hard HHA I'm only but I don't have any interest or so all I do is sitting on my bed surf Reddit hearing music and watch Netflix and it isn't fun anymore or so but I can't really motivate me for anything else This is all so meaning less I probably would kill my self, but there is the small fear of the nothingness I which I could talk whit someone about this Sorry for mistakes English is not my native language and I'm drunk |
English | Would gladly off myself should the opportunity come Wish I had means to do it I mean I do but it's not a way I want to take I just want to go out and not make an impact Disappear even I've stopped myself from killing myself for years now just for my family but at what point am I living for them and not me It's not like I belong alive it's not like I have some purpose I mean fuck I'm a waste of space |
French | Ce n'est plus à propos de moi Je me désinscris à cause du temps où je viens ici Je me sens pire Je me sens beaucoup pire Je suis pire Ce massage est pour les autres comme moi Il y en a quelques-uns J'ai voulu mourir depuis que j'ai eu beaucoup de différents types de thérapies illégales Je déteste la haine Je suis beaucoup, beaucoup pire Il n'y a pas d'amis ou de famille |
English | What's the point in life I don't understand how people can live their entire lives working hrs a day It makes no sense that our purpose in life is waked up go to work come home eat something then sleep This cycle repeats for years in some people s lives If the whole point of life is to work to survive I really don't want to live or experience anything I d rather just die than have to worry about bills for the next years |
English | Can't fight the urged have been through SO much trauma in my life I'm not even going to bore anyone with the details I don't know how I am still here I can't take how awful my life is and the pain I feel any more I am having strong urges right now, and I don't think I am gone make it another day I am involved with mental health teams, but they don't give a shit they know I'm suicidal, and they treat me like a burden I feel like a burden I've lost my fight |
French | Comment trouvez-vous l'espoir pour l'avenir et ne pas simplement abandonner tout ce que je suis vraiment aux prises mentalement avec ce problème? |
English | Dr Viktor Frankl on Meaning and Happiness m not sure if this will be really helpful but you can give it a try HTTP howtolivehappily info blog Viktor Frankl on meaning and happiness If it doesn't help you may try this instead HTTP howtolivehappily info blog read this if you are depressed |
English | Lost the will Jeez I feel like a regular on this Subreddit backstory HTTP WWW Reddit com r Suicide Watch comments ta t tired I've been feeling a distinct lack of motivation for the past week but it's turning into something else that familiar feeling that voice in the back of your head telling you You should just give up I've lost all motivation to talk to people all I do is wake up go to work come back and go to bed Just hiding in my bedroom out of fear of the outside My anxiety is getting worse and It's preventing me from thinking about anything other than I want to be at home I think I'm so hung up on the fact that I currently only have friend that it's just making my depression go into overdrive it seems pointless to carry on I'm a very social person at heart even though I'm shy and socially awkward but I have no opportunities to socialize with anyone as it stands and its eating at me, I can't keep spending my nights in my room by myself, but I have no one I can meet up with or do stuff with I feel so trapped by my situation I just want to get away from it any way possible |
English | Was it so hard to want even a single ounce of kindness for Christmas and my birthday You know what I did on the the I went to DQ I brought an ice cream cake and I went back home I kicked my shoes off and I sat at my table No one was there to wish me happy birthday no one was there to hug me no one was there to light the candles on my cake no one was there to hand me a present that was a pack of socks and worst of all no one was even there Not my mother not my brother not my father not even the person I called friend I sat there in a lonely house and ate the whole thing myself on what fells like the loneliest day of my life No one should have to feel this lonely on their birthday Christmas came around I kicked back in my empty living room in my empty house Not a single present was under the tree the car couldn't be driven because countless tears and panic attacks were shed because I couldn't pay for insurance These were supposed to be the only two happiest days of the year for me and not even a phone call was given either This was the first year I've ever felt the very soul of my happiness ripped out of my chest and shredded to pieces This was supposed to be the one day I felt happy This was supposed to go ok I wasn't supposed to be having a panic attack despite mg of Cymbalta I wasn't supposed to feel this way I wasn't supposed to feel tempted to take a drive tonight and run out of gas till I stop and freeze alongside the road Was it really that hard to say happy birthday or merry Christmas |
French | null |
English | I'll be never loved m a year-old man who's never been in a real relationship The closest I've come were a year middle school relationship and a boss who forced me have a relationship with her under threat of being fired another story My problem is that I'm asexual Well that's what I tell friends In reality I also have fetishes namely freedom Since I'm only aroused by a fetish especially one so rare it obviously makes finding a partner who I'm compatible with borderline impossible I've still tried to date but with little success I never make it past the third date and even that's rare Lately I can't get dates at all I guess I'm not a very exciting person especially since I have no sexual motivation going on At my age it also occurred to me that many people won't want to deal with a guy who's never had a real adult relationship Who wants that level of inexperience in a something Today it hit me truly hopeless my situation is How I'm never going to experience love I got so little of it as a kid I avoided it after my dad had molested me starting as a toddler I've never had it as an adult and I never will, It hurts so much knowing that's my life And I know that pain will only get worse the older I get I've had suicidal thoughts before but never this serious and intense I'm honestly not sure my life is worth living We all need love how am I supposed to live if I'll never experience it |
English | I wish I had the guts This is more Off My Chest than Suicide Watch I hope that's okay I can't find the community rules in this redesign thing I'm not intending to kill myself I've made plans but I can't follow through Last time I tried everyone hated me for it and I can barely imagine breaking the trust they've managed to give me back Maybe after a bit more of this I'll begin to not mind I hope so because it hurts and I'd like it to stop hurting and it's not going to stop all on its own If only I had done it right the first time Sometimes I wake up and find myself optimistic though that feeling tends to die off quite swiftly Then I'm back to googling how to get cancer easily which I'm aware is entirely retarded but I've got no options besides managing to die naturally and also stupid searches like that are probably a coping mechanism Well why is it that every person killed in an accident is a person so full of life and purpose and I can't manage anything worse than a paper cut Maybe I could trade places with one of them and that would be the best thing I'd have done for the world in my entire life I wish I had real depression Then I at least wouldn't feel like I'm a fucking poser and maybe I would have the guts to go through with it everyone else be damned That would be better for all of them in the long run because I'm completely and utterly wasting their physical and emotional resources for nothing Anyway thanks for reading I haven't said half of the feelings I wanted to express but I'm feeling better now and by that I mean I don't feel as bad because I feel kinda empty Regardless you have a good day If you are here you deserve it more than anyone |
English | Hollow feel hollow I feel like everything happening around me isn't real I m in a really dark place RN I feel like there is no out for me, I feel like my time is coming to an end I blame myself I am the problem Everything bad happening RN is because I could ve done something different It's the game of life and I made every wrong move I must think I m at least somewhat smart, but I guess not Everything I know is upside down People will be better off with me not in the picture I'm sorry I'm sorry to everyone that I've disappointed I'm sorry to everyone I will disappoint I just don't know what is right, and I don't know what's left to do I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry |
French | null |
French | Le week-end a été bientôt long et bientôt plein de mots, j'ai l'impression que je dérive encore une fois, mes tentatives pour l'ignorer sont minces, je suis mieux maintenant, il ne peut pas être ce que je ne sais pas ce qui va arriver, je sais juste que je peux le sentir se rapprocher |
English | Healing after Attempt Hey I hope you're all doing well, and I hope your holidays is good On Halloween I attempted suicide I went to the hospital and got stitches down my wrist The stitches have been removed for a while and everything seems healed just fine but I am having issues moving my wrist around It feels very tight on the skin and if I get up and use that arm the wrong way it hurts like hell I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this and if it gets better Thanks for the advice in advance |
French | Je me demande chaque jour combien de temps mon moi sans valeur continuera à être forcé de souffrir, je suis tellement malade de cette vie inutile et merdique. |
English | The night is the worst Every night I stay awake thinking about the things in life Thinking about the light to come when I really need it the most But it doesn't come it hides away as I lay there in terrible mental pain I hope one day I tie the rope and jump Can't focus on school my find is filled with suicidal thoughts completely polluted with terrible thoughts My parents know about my depression, but they just don't understand, so I bottle in my depression I put a mask on around my friends and family hoping it ends, but it never does |
French | Octobre Tout ce que je fais semble me pousser loin ou quelqu'un loin de moi Les amis restent jusqu'à ce que la vie s'améliore que je suis laissé derrière, j'ai changé d'emploi pour faire l'expérience de nouvelles personnes et un nouvel environnement, mais encore sentir ce vide Combien une personne peut prendre jusqu'à ce que c'est juste assez j'aime à grand mais obtenir pas d'amour en retour, je tourne en Octobre |
French | Je ne suis rien et je n'aurai rien d'agréable dans ma vie Tout d'abord je suis désolé pour mon mauvais anglais mais je ne suis pas un locuteur natif donc je suis vieux garçon et je suis prêt à me suicider pendant quelques mois je ne serais probablement pas heureux si je ne veux pas blesser ma mère et mon ami je ne veux pas que tu sois heureux |
French | Hey les gars, je pensais que je pourrais juste dire merci en attendant la fin à venir. C'était dur. J'attendais avec impatience tous les jours de voir chacun de vos commentaires et messages. Je suis désolé si je ne suis pas arrivé à vous ou vos messages sincères. |
French | Je viens de me faire virer Je viens de me faire virer de mon travail C'était de ma faute Je le mérite La deuxième fois pour la même chose Je ne peux pas faire face à ma famille Pas à nouveau |
English | Get married or get hanged So Many dark situations around this forum ain't it I feel like I have no right to complain I will talk about myself a little nevertheless and hope it does not sound superficial I'm a middle class Brazilian man yo A journalist The old sort of professional that is going through extinction I've been dating a girl for the last years, and now she is arranging everything for marriage There were no decision-making no kneeling in public with rings and stuff Just procrastination to nonsense Things should be nice But they make me sweat instead Look I never had no parents I have no idea how to raise a kid Or take care of a home At work my bosses should notice at any second that a bot can probably do my job I am not a vermin though If I decide to play a parody of a happy s couple I can do it My doubt is To run to kill my self out of fear etc. Or to face a life that looks so strange to myself |
French | Hallucinant besoin d'aide Je pense que les démons essaient de me tuer, mais mon petit ami dit que c'est juste une autre illusion, mais Jeremy est réel, et j'ai besoin d'aide Je ne veux pas mourir J'ai tellement peur sauf que je veux mourir est le point que je vais me tuer |
English | Is this the end fuck it i m losing hope NYC has a lot of people and I can't seem to click with any one friend who live in another state barely talks to me and sometimes avoid my messages if I send her how I felt right now that i m thinking about doing something she would get mad at me, I also want to tell my ex-girlfriend who treats me like i m invisible but oh wait she says we still best friends ahhhh fucking bitch is a liar I should tell her i m doing it and make her suffer they way she does me but the goodness in me is holding everything in What girl or people want to talk to a broken guy fuck this world i m tired OF DOING THE RIGHT THING AND STILL GETTING PLAYED |
English | Words of Positive Self Affirmation am worthy I am lovable I am kind I am humble I am capable I deserve respect and I give respect in return I am smart I am not a disappointment I don't have to live up to my parents or societal expectations I am independent I deserve happiness and I deserve good things in life I choose peace I will succeed and achieve my goals My life has purpose I am beautiful in my own unique ways |
English | I hate being trapped in my own head m tired of being alive nothing I do matters the only thing keeping me from attempting is the possibility that it won't be successful and i ll end up institutionalized again I honestly wouldn't even mind that but I don't have health insurance and my credit is still bad from my first attempt I can't take it anymore I feel so hallow I feel like things will never get better for me, I wish I could sleep forever I feel like a prisoner in my own head I hate my life |
French | J'ai essayé de parler à ne pas vous tuer les gens et était la ligne Juste laisse une telle porte ouverte à se sentir idiot de s'asseoir et attendre de parler à un étranger Donc, bien sûr, j'ai un peu ri et fermé j'ai désactivé mon Facebook aujourd'hui Personne ne remarquera que j'ai quitté mon groupe familial chat et personne ne remarquera ou se soucie C'est vraiment vrai que je me soucie vraiment de moi, ce n'est pas de dépression |
French | TW Anti est si triste tout le temps je veux juste le bonheur je prie Dieu tous les jours pourquoi moi je veux juste être heureux à nouveau je veux juste être capable d'écouter des chansons sans tomber en panne je veux être capable de manger de la nourriture sans avoir peur |
English | I would trade anything to get her back |
English | Just don't like life much at all m not good at anything I have no positive traits bad shit happens to me people fuck me over people hate and are embarrassed by my uselessness I'm not delusional sure it would make people sad but it could honestly no bullshit be good for everyone in the end One less person to feel sorry for one less mouth to feed no more worrying I'm not even terribly upset writing this I pretty matter-of-factly think If I were just to be deleted it would be best I have nothing that truly makes me happy Maybe it s narcissism maybe I can't accept that I am shit I'm sure if I were talented or liked it would be better It's not depression that a therapist could help with I just don't like my place in this world and give up I have absolutely no answers |
French | Je viens de me faire prendre pour mon deuxième DUI Je ne pense pas que je puisse gérer les conséquences ou la honte d'avoir une femme aimante et deux beaux enfants C'est la seule raison pour laquelle je ne me suis pas déjà ôté la vie Mais je ne peux pas leur parler de ce que je ressens à l'intérieur Je vois une mort facile partout où je vais Des lames de rasoir au travail pour me couper les poignets me noyer dans les toilettes ou rouler mon camion d'une falaise |
French | J'ai fait j'ai fait j'ai fait j'ai juste eu la police me prendre à la maison à mes parents à cause d'être dans une maison abandonnée parce que je n'avais nulle part où aller je suis seulement mon seul ami j'ai également été attrapé, et nous ne sommes pas autorisés à traîner à nouveau honnêtement je n'ai rien à la vie car cela va probablement se propager à l'école et rendre ma réputation encore pire qu'il est maintenant je devrais le faire ce soir |
English | I'm just getting worse Today is my birthday I really should not have been here it felt like everything was in slow motion looking at my cake with the candles that my family got for a grown ass man my thoughts were just stuck on wishing for my death I've been to a hospital therapy and even talked to my parents who just tell me to go to church There is really no reason I am posting this, but I can't talk to anyone about this When I'm not self loathing in depression I'm angry and irritable my wife says she's scared of me because I am unpredictable and now I can't look at her the same, and it makes me even more distant from her and I don't know what to do I really don't know what to feel any more I just don't want to be here anymore |
French | Quand devrais-je le faire Besoin de minutes de temps pour suffoquer, et je suis en dessous de sorte que je vis avec les parents Devrais-je le faire la nuit ou prendre une approche complètement différente Est-ce que cela vaut la peine Devrait, je leur dis |
French | Que dire à un ami qui a essayé de mettre fin à sa vie Pas vraiment sûr si c'est le bon endroit pour demander, mais je ne pouvais pas trouver un meilleur sub pour ce genre de question Ma meilleure amie a envisagé le suicide pendant un certain temps et à cause de nombreuses raisons aujourd'hui était le jour où elle a claqué J'ai appris à parler de la dépression et de ne même pas lire quelques livres sur la question, mais cette fois, je n'ai vraiment aucune idée sur la façon de lui faire face |
French | S'il vous plaît aidez-moi vraiment envie de mourir je suis sûr donc ne pas besoin de me parler hors de lui s'il vous plaît Juste besoin d'aide avec une sortie pacifique j'ai commandé g d'héroïne Will avalant avec de l'eau causer une fin paisible Merci |
English | Re planning Hello I have decided to replan my suicide Nothing will stop me this time Every time I look at myself I'm disgusted I don't want to live any more I don't want to have to do anything I don't want to keep ruining things and fucks g shit up hurting people feeling like this I know people want me to stay like my brother mother my close friends but as selfish as it is I need more than them to keep me here They can't help No one can I don't want them to any more I have never felt so low They want me to stay, and I feel sick with guilt after I promised my brother I'd stay But i cant stay alive to not hurt others whilst I stay here suffering in so much pain day to day I can't So I'm going I don't want to talk about it, I don't want talking out of it I just want to plan it whilst I'm ready before anything has a chance to change my mind I don't know yet when I'll go But I'm going Perhaps before college starts again then I will go August th |
English | A man in a white SUV flipped me off little explanation I've gotten into fights before while driving, and it feels like shit for a while, but I end up getting over it This time I didn't flight This man just flipped me off in his huge white SUV and I could do nothing He proceeded to drive slowly in front of me to piss me off even more I was hoping we stayed in the same apartment complex so somehow I could finally get out of the car and give him a piece of my mind too He didn't But I broke down crying in the elevator and then came home and sat on the floor crying I don't know why at this point I could hear my parents speaking in the other room Me and my father don't really talk The final straw for me was a month ago he was violent with me and since then we haven't spoken I want to move out but my mother who is the only earning member of the family lost her job I have to say my mom doesn't particularly care for him either I've always grown up with him screaming his lungs out to her, I then realized the man in the white SUV reminded me of my father he also drives literally the same car and is also just an all around asshole including the road He is the kind of person who will flip someone off and then get even more satisfaction out of pissing them off further That feeling of helplessness was something so familiar for me Who am I in front of a big powerful man who could hurt me in one blow if he wanted I started screaming at my mom lashing out in general and ended up hitting her in the process Pretty badly I always tell her I want to move away from him, and she says we will later I ended up tearing my top off into pieces in frustration and went to look for the blade in my room while my mom laid on the floor I hate the kind of person I've become I don't want to be violent I don't want to have a bad temper I don't want to cry in bed After around a month it's the first time I've felt suicidal again After around months it's the first time I cut myself again I've never cut around my wrist but this time IDK why I felt like trying I don't want to live here I've tried A lot I've tried and tried and tried with life It's just fucking doesn't get better Every time I think I've hit rock bottom there's always worse Meantime I think I'm getting better it goes away Therapy didn't work I also called my two closest friends and neither came for me, I'm fucking tired I don't want to be like this |
French | La dépression est un sentiment d'ancrage comme je peux à peine parfois bouger Quand la tristesse est plus que d'être triste, c'est le désespoir et tout en consommant, je suis toujours en train de transporter un lourd sentiment de néant dans mon corps, même quand je me dis que c'est la dépression, c'est une maladie et ce n'est pas permanent. |
French | Cela commence à ressembler moins à un fantasme et plus à une option Chaque fois que ma santé mentale chute et que je me laisse aller ici, cela semble de moins en moins farfelu. |
French | J'ai fait j'ai fait C'est peut-être la dernière fois que vous entendez parler de moi, je ne suis plus intéressé à tendre la main Je suis critiqué pour tendre la main J'essaie de m'ouvrir aux gens, mais ça ne fonctionne pas Alors je vais finir ça J'ai une idée de ce que je pourrais faire et je vais essayer d'espérer que ça fonctionne Je pense que c'était une mauvaise idée en premier lieu Essayer de vivre |
English | My therapists made me promise to not kill myself And now I feel worse I haven't had that many suicidal thoughts lately, but now I feel like that possibility in the back of my head has been taken away from me Why do I have to live I just don't want to exist |
French | Je ne sais pas ce qui va aider parce que je n'ai pas les couilles de demander de l'aide que j'ai posté ici avant que j'ai essayé deux fois, mais je ne peux toujours pas admettre à mes amis ou à la famille ce qui se passe maintenant, je suis assis ici avec un couteau à mon poignet, je ne sais pas jusqu'où je vais, je ne sais pas si je vais finir ivre ce soir, j'ai aussi des analgésiques ce soir. |
French | Je ne peux pas sembler être heureux genre de besoin d'évent et j'espère absolument taper cela pourrait m'aider à rendre les choses plus claires je me sens comme je devrais avoir une vie vraiment heureuse je suis à un collège je voulais vraiment aller étudier quelque chose que j'apprécie réellement et pendant mes premières années j'ai eu beaucoup de bons amis que j'ai eu beaucoup de plaisir à aller à la maison j'ai eu beaucoup de plaisir à aller à la maison |
French | J'ai tout perdu Comme le titre dit Je n'ai rien J'ai eu beaucoup de problèmes et d'autres merdes dans ma vie, mais je restais forte pour ma petite amie que je croyais vraiment que nous serons ensemble pour toujours Et ça fait exactement des jours qu'elle m'a quittée Pendant des jours Je n'ai pas de raison de vivre et tout devient plus dur et plus épuisant Je ne peux toujours pas vivre Je lui ai dit que même après la rupture |
French | Ma vie est littéralement un feuilleton à ce stade C'est une histoire pleine d'abandon abus de manipulation émotionnelle avec certains abus physiques avec un ancien beau-père de la mienne et honnêtement je ne me souviens pas d'avoir tout le bonheur à long terme je me suis mis sur les médicaments, mais ceux qui ont fait la merde j'ai eu un thérapeute pour un jour jusqu'à ce que nous ne pouvions pas nous le permettre plus et maintenant je suis plus déprimé que je l'ai jamais |
French | J'ai eu une tentative ratée des conseils pour une gueule de bois quoi que ce soit pour me faire sentir moins eh serait apprécié |
English | I think I'm calling it quits can't get better no matter how hard I try I thought things were going better with my ex-wife I thought we were getting back together It s been months of us hanging out almost daily and having a lot of fun But now she's officially with someone else I'm barely succeeding in college trying to finally pursue my dream and it's so hard My anxiety basically prevents me from going outside my apartment unless I m with her Now I have a new deaden job at a day food restaurant that starts tomorrow I need the job because the disability insurance I get for my depression anxiety and PTSD is barely enough to live off of so I need some supplemental cash But because of the anxiety and stress over having to go to work tomorrow I can't sleep So I'm stressing and smoking about that It bothers me so much that the only time I was ever successful at anything was while in the military Literally blowing people up I'm an absolute piece of unlovable garbage and I've wanted to kill myself since as far back as I can remember I've decided I'm leaving it in the hands of the American people more years of Trump and our terrifying descent into fascism is honestly the least of my concerns but I've decided to make it my ultimatum If Trump wins I'm killing myself If anybody can think of a good way that could double as a heroic or revolutionary death I'm all ears |
English | Clinically depressed since years ago everything society related is fine but I woke up this morning wanting to die badly Hi everyone I m years old, and I have been clinically depressed and anxious for years I used to take my meds regularly but since I started work at this new company months ago it s been a bit irregular because I don't eat breakfast at home any more I'm such a klutz I used to have a loving girlfriend who knows about my illness, but I really don't want to tell her what goes on in my mind because I don't like feeding her drama and showing her that I can be a liability as a potential husband we broke up a year and a half ago because of me thinking this way I live with my family but every day is CHAOTIC with them My dad is not in his right mind because he is old and has diabetes and my mother has been keeping up with his BS mood since the dawn of time I bet we always cause a scandal with our loud voices and it's embarrassing because we live in a condo I fear every day that my parents could die because of how they treat each other and even how their kids treat them I'm a customer support representative and luckily I'm done with the legwork of having to be shouted at by clients It pays okay, and I can contribute to a few expenses at home I enrolled in my gym but it's always a struggle getting there I envy people who are innately thin because I'm innately chubby I'm not a sporty person because I play guitar But I play genres that a lot of people don't find listenable lately I try to post videos but no one apparently likes them Bummer but oh well I like food and video games as a combo but since I have been dedicated to gym for the past months and have been gaining progress I try to avoid it And it sucks because I have to in order to be fit and have my clothes fit okay to One RECURRING issue on my mind is that last December I slept with a friend I met up with abroad She is not girlfriend material, and she does have a boyfriend She cheated on him But even though I don't like her as a partner I've been lusting over her ever since and whenever I see her profile with her guy or with her in cute outfits it just turns me on, and I find myself a horrible person for it is s hard to get her off my mind I feel like a mentally unhealthy person that tries to conform with society I feel like nothing is doing good any more Even my doctor didn't help So I want to go to the nearest hardware and gen merchandise store and buy rat poison |
French | Je ne sais pas si je vais le faire à travers cette année ou ce mois-ci ont un plan que je n'ai pas traversé avec elle parce que ma cousine est terminée, je pense que je vais une fois qu'elle part, je suis fatigué d'être seul, mais quand je suis avec d'autres, je me sens comme une petite chienne misérable, je me sens toujours seul, je vais dire que je suis seul, je suis seul, je suis perdu. |
French | J'ai l'impression d'avoir tout gâché, j'ai l'impression d'avoir perdu le contrôle, j'ai été suicidaire pendant un an, depuis que mon ami est mort, et j'étais comme ça avant même que je me sois débarrassé de tout le monde après avoir été appelé un vampire émotionnel. |
English | Is all suicide because of mental health illness Like I don't feel mentally ill Me wanting to not be alive anymore is something that iv thought about and decided is simply better than going through life unhappy and sad all the time |
French | J'ai mon premier vrai examen final demain pour lequel je n'ai pas étudié et j'ai l'impression que je veux me suicider plutôt que de faire le test de baise et d'échouer je fais un cours d'algèbre collégiale et je vais finir demain matin. |
English | I just need to vent it's getting too much I'm no matter how hard I try I just get further into this whole did the stupidest thing and tried to get myself out of debt through other debt I did that twice now I m fucked I'm earning which is great but I'm barely earning above minimum wage k and very unlikely to receive a pay rise I'm not qualified for other jobs and finding something else is unlikeliest than getting a raise My housemate is moving out in months and I don't think it's likely that any new landlord will let me rent as I'm constantly in my over draft and I can't move back into my parents as my cat the only reason I'm still alive will get run over as they can't keep her inside the house due to their own cats using a cat flap I'm really fucking struggling to see a reason anymore and I know in years roundabout I'll be out of of debts but right now I'm digging deeper and deeper and I don't want to I've got to find money to fund stuff to do with my boyfriend as he's flying back this month and I don't think he'll want to just sit around and do nothing, but I can't afford to do anything He wants to go to a football game and the tickets are each and that's way more than I can afford without going further into my overdraft I can barely afford train tickets or a hotel for the Manchester trip he is thinking about I'm just done I m done being stupid I m done dreading every waking moment because there's no way out |
French | Le surdosage est une victoire Soit je vais mourir ou je pourrais juste endommager mon cerveau assez au point où je peux arrêter de tout penser ou même mieux je finis alité pour la vie |
French | Je suis pathétique, et je devrais être mort Cela va sembler extrêmement pathétique, mais j'ai une petite amie imaginaire. C'est la seule chose qui m'aide à faire face au fait que je suis laid et indésirable. |
French | Ma famille mérite-t-elle de ressentir la douleur de ma mort J'ai probablement été déprimé toute ma vie Bien sûr, je n'ai pas été diagnostiqué jusqu'à ce que je sois Personne ne s'est soucié de moi toute ma vie Même si j'ai vécu avec ma mère, elle m'a ignoré la plupart du temps Quand j'avais de terribles problèmes à l'école, je pensais à la dépression et à la colère. |
French | Vous voulez sauver des vies par jour Bénévole de la maison Je contribue à ce projet en rassemblant des gens pour faire don de leur puissance informatique inutilisée pour la recherche sur le COVID Je pensais que cela apporterait un sentiment de travail d'équipe et nous occuperait de la négativité Et à la fin de la journée, nous pourrions accélérer la recherche et sauver des milliers de vies |
English | Please stop lying to me saying it's going to get better it s not going to get better I don't want to be here anymore |
French | Est-ce que je lui dis que je suis suicidaire à nouveau depuis un mois ou alors maintenant ma famille ne me laissera pas seul parce que je leur ai dit qu'ils ont pris la plupart des choses que je pourrais me blesser avec la vérité qu'il m'a dit la plupart du temps que j'ai trop peur de me tuer mais je vais avoir des moments intenses où je vais presque le faire de toute façon que je sais qu'ils sont assez malheureux depuis que je le déteste |
English | I hate my body so much I can't handle it anymore It's not even due to being overweight or super skinny It's just everything s really weird and badly proportioned I've never seen anything else like it, I'm sure there must be an underlying medical problem but even if I found out what it was there's nothing that can be done about it Bar breaking every bone in my body and starting again I'm sick to death of being reminded of this every time I look in the mirror It's like being forced to go through the worst moment of your life over and over again Not bothering with pills or exit hoods Seems too likely to fail Luckily I have tall cliffs with jagged rocks at the bottom nearby If there is such a thing as an afterlife which I doubt then seeing this disgusting body s corpse mangled and broken is going to make me the happiest ghost in existence |
English | No motivation to commit suicide Hello i ve never thought i d get here Wow Lot s of fucked up things had happened in my life they are that fucked up that i don't want to mention them here I have no friends I doubt that anyone cares about me, I still go to school yeah sure laugh in the comments Well actually my parents care about me and I don't know why but automatically I act normal when I'm with them I'm scared to tell them how I actually feel inside I kinda wanted to visit a psychiatrist but I never convinced myself to do it All of this shit was building up inside me and trust me I would do it but I just can't get over the thought of what would my parents feel or think like maybe they would blame it on themselves Another reason is that my grandma passed away about a month ago so pretty much both financially and motionally my parents are fucked my death would completely destroy my mom and her wallet But I'm no fucking better i disappointed her everyday I could and there's still things she doesn t know about me, I just don't know where to put all the shit that's inside of me i m literally between nowhere and the feelings inside of me are destroying me Would I be a dickhead if I just did it IDK leave a note that it's not their fault or sting I tried so fucking hard but no one ever noticed it and fuck it I'm tired |
English | I don't know what to do anymore m just a teenager and my life is not that bad I go to a private school and I live in an ok neighborhood TBH I have no clue why i m depressed I finally worked up courage to tell my mom that I don't even want to live anymore, and she seemed to care I told her my plan She has a lot of prescription drugs and I was going to try to mix them and take way too many They did what any parent would do tell me they love me and they couldn't handle it if I died Then immediately tried to get me on a pill I can't get anything done I just have the urge to jump out of my window or slice my neck now they just come in and ask me if i m ok what am I supposed to say during this whole coronavirus the therapists have been closing I have no way of getting help My thoughts are just eating me up and I have no clue what to do It's all just so hopeless I feel like my friends are going to give up on me but I just don't have the energy to try I am so exhausted and done I don't feel like texting back and when I do it's dry Depression is a lifelong battle and I don't know if I can do this my whole life it would be so much better if I just end it now also i m not trying to get attention I just feel like this is a safe place to talk i ve been seeing a lot of people on here who have talked openly and I thought it would be nice to open up to people who would understand |
English | Im so done everyone uses me and it doesn't make sense for me to be here any more my mom kicked me out and everyone hates me I'm so done I'm ready god isn't here but I'm not going to heaven bc suicide is wrong |
English | How can I stop being a coward build up the courage and finally end this all I just need to find some courage That's only thing I need |
English | I don't know what to dim so fucked I feel weak powerless I have almost no hope left |
French | Quelqu'un a-t-il parlé à son patron de ses pensées suicidaires quand il tournait autour du travail Comment l'avez-vous encadré Comment est-ce que les choses se sont passées Je viens de parler à quelqu'un qui m'a suggéré d'aborder ma dépression et mes tendances suicidaires avec mon patron puisque tout tourne autour du travail et du stress lié au travail J'ai instantanément pensé à environ un million de façons qui pourraient se retourner contre moi et me mettre dans une pire position. |
Subsets and Splits