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French | Je ne suis pas assez bon et je ne serai jamais J'espère que je poste à la droite Subreddit pas savoir exactement où me mettre Je ne serai jamais assez bon pour quelqu'un Je suis un échec Je ne ferai jamais quelque chose de valable dans ma vie Je suis constamment crié et poussé autour de moi qui me tue Toute ma vie J'ai été laissé par mes parents Je ne suis pas prêt à aller à travers tout mon père adoptif |
English | I can't continue alone First off Throwaway But I'll check back It s been a month since I snapped and moved out on my girlfriend We were having a rough patch I took our dog One of our cats And left It took me less than a day to realize my mistake But by that time she had run to her moms With the other cats We started to work it out a couple of days later, and I thought everything was in the clear A few days after that she said she wouldn't be able to get over the pain I caused her And I've been basically alone since I moved back to my parents But I have no friends here Just my dog and cat I've seen her a few times since And she usually replies to my messages I still love her so much And she has told me recently that she still loves me Today I got some flowers and dropped them off to her Had a brief chat And left All she really said to me is that I just don't get it I can't continue on without her, She changed me so much as a person I went from a boarder line alcoholic drug addict womanizer to a guy with a woman he adored and wanted to spend the rest of his life with Except for that day When we fought I lost my cool and when she went to work I left My life has been hell since I'm so alone I think of her constantly I dream about her, I wish for a perfect life with her, I've thought about how to end this There's a really strong current off a fairly accessible cliff nearby A couple of people have disappeared in that area before I think that's how I want to handle it Not tonight Maybe not tomorrow night But it's there A life without her isn't worth it |
English | Looking for information related to survivors of Suicide This page has been a great help to me in the past when I was in a very dark place, and I am glad for it, I am in the process of trying to write about how my suicide would have effected my family and friends and was looking for any suggestions of books anthologies or sites that will help me understand it better I have talked a lot with my wife but want to see how others dealt with the aftereffects of suicide Thanks in advance |
English | M need someone to talk to don't know if this is the right place for this, but these last weeks have been hell on earth I used to be depressed and suicidal, and I ended up recovering now I'm back at being depressed and suicidal I just need someone to talk to either on Reddit or KICK I feel lost |
English | Considering IIT seems like everyone here has real reasons to be unhappy or upset with a serious aspect of their life and I just don't I don't know why I'm so unhappy but I am It s been this way for the past years I'm not unhappy all the time It's easy to distract myself either with work or going out or whatever It's whenever I stop doing things whenever I'm trying to sleep that I just want to pull the trigger I think the primary reason that I haven't is that the hurt it would cause my family and friends but the more time that passes the less I care about how it will affect them Therapy or something would probably help but I don't know what I would even say Everything is good with my family my friends my job etc. To pretty much anyone in my life I'm doing fine I don't have a valid reason to be unhappy but I also don't really have a reason to stick around At this point I'm just writing, so I have something to do I suppose it feels good to finally say something about how I'm doing Even if I achieved all of my goals personally, and professionally I still don't think I'd be happy I can't imagine what it would take for me to get to a place where I was content with myself I don't know what would make me feel better I know it's a cop out but it really just seems like the most efficient way of dealing with this shit If nothing is going to make it better than why not Anyway sorry for the wall of text Thanks for reading hopefully you redoing better than I am |
English | I've waited years I can wait another Just felt like sharing to get this load off my chest I've made the decision to not go through with suicide until I'm really sure My dogs a rescue and she's too attached to me, She's scared of everyone and everything, and she only has me to look after her, I can't trust anyone to take care of her if I took my life, so I'll wait until she's older and more socialized I guess I feel a little proud of myself for not going through with it tonight I keep thinking about it but if I keep repeating years it calms me down enough to not take all my meds at once I hope if anyone else feels like this maybe they'll do the same and repeat those words as well I mean I can't see anything getting better, but I can try for another years I know I can Thank for reading Daisy |
English | I enjoy thinking about suicide Don t really know why I'm posting this but I just want to see if others feel the same I'm pretty depressed and am probably going to end it soon But Ive always adored the idea and everything that has to do with suicide Honestly when I'm having a shitty day looking at meirl or self-deprecating jokes just cheer me up It seems counterintuitive but I feel like it helps me to a degree I genuinely feel better and get sometimes pumped when I really think about it Whether it be to distract me from my shitty life or to concrete my goal to commit suicide Not sure if it's a good thing or not |
English | Failed suicide attempt almost a full month ago everything had just become too much for me to handle schoolwork was piling up my self-esteem was at an all-time low and i just really didn't feel like living any more I tried to slit it vertically but I was too squeamish and afraid of the pain I had no rope to hang myself or any idea of where I could hang from so I settled with taking melatonin and taking a bath with the water up to my chin hoping i d slump down drown and die in my sleep I know it sounds stupid and it was I left a note for each person I loved and just a general note for police or whoever found my body I did end up falling asleep but i didn't die my mom had come home and woken me up and was demanding to know what I was trying to do I told her basically everything about how I wanted to die and how I felt trapped she just yelled at me and called me selfish and how I was ungrateful for the life I had she told my dad and I got yelled at again by him, I think she told my grandparents as well my parents took away my phone until now and when they gave it back they told me I better not pull a stunt like that again or else my punishment would be worse I can't help but wish I had died that day I feel worse than I did before and I don't know what to do i m scared of failing again but I don't want to be alive anymore |
French | Inconsciemment en essayant de me tuer, j'ai essayé de me tuer une fois dans le passé et j'ai l'habitude de me faire mal à moi-même en essayant de faire face à un stress intense, je vis avec un stress intense pendant de longs moments subconscients, maintenant je m'empêche de me blesser, mais en conséquence, je finis par me faire mal à moi-même. |
English | Vent to Meir anyone feels depressed or suicidal feel free to vent to me, I am here for anyone |
English | How do I tell my friends I've been depressed all of my life, but I was recently diagnosed with anxiety I m in a terrible place in my life right now, and I can't always be emotionally available for my friends It gets harder and harder to hide my depression and anxiety especially since I'm a high schooler But I don't know what to do any more IDK if I want to tell them or not Also I'm too scared to go to my school counselor for help so that's not an option TLDR how do I tell my friends about my mental health problems |
French | Aide Morts à l'intérieur Ivre au travail Aucun espoir Vouloir mourir Vouloir me trancher la gorge Vouloir m'enterrer en vie mes pensées sont viol Mon genre est l'enfer Mon corps est le feu Fuck me baise cette ahvammdfjehshabwbsbs baise ticncukshqvza Evans dit juste baise jamais est méditation Baise faire quelque chose Mon esprit gagne la fin |
French | Est-ce que c'est ma faute pour avoir dit au petit ami de mon ami qu'elle a fait une overdose Mon ami est gravement déprimé depuis des années maintenant, et elle a continué à lui dire comment elle allait se tuer, même en essayant quelques fois et en finissant à l'hôpital La nuit dernière, elle m'a dit comment elle allait faire une overdose et j'ai continué à lui parler pendant des heures. |
English | Life is literally getting darker every day don't know if this is the right sub I just need a place to vent right now So I don't know where to start I have been depressed for over years now but always managed to see the good things in life But for the last months it got worse I randomly have the urge to just cry all day long I've just been holding it back which probably isn't such a good idea Also I still live with my mom and every time I get home she just yells at me In the last weeks I got exhausted As soon as I get home I just lay down in bed and try to relax and even my vision is getting darker I think I don't know what's going on with me and i don't think I can keep going much longer |
French | Je suis gay, je ne peux pas m'identifier à des gens en dehors d'un très petit groupe de gens et une partie de la façon dont j'ai appris à m'identifier aux autres, c'est à travers les drogues que je suis en marche et en arrêt, mais je ne m'associe pas vraiment à mes vieux amis, je me suis arrêté, je me suis arrêté, j'ai été accueilli, je n'ai pas été jugé. |
English | Getting towards a complete plan I've got a few pills done some research and could definitely do some damage I might be able to get my hands on some co common I'm not sure I've got a few packs of pills lying around that I can take I've got some perfume and stuff like that which I know has a high toxic alcohol content I've tried times before I need to make this one really count I need to write a letter I've been mulling over what I'd put in it, I've got some ideas but I'm not sure I think I'll do it next week there s stuff I need to finish up beforehand I need to pick the best time All other attempts have been impulsive but this time I'm going to make sure it works out how I want it to Nobody would guess I'm laughing and smiling and putting on a show just so people don't catch on and try to stop me I m set on this Best case scenario it kills me but even if it just does severe damage that d do |
French | Il serait si facile de mettre fin à tout cela si putain de facile pourquoi vivre ses gens trop durs ici sont malades baise les violeurs amis abusifs, et ils aiment venir dans ma vie les drogues n'aideront pas à dormir ne sera pas facile de regarder le sang couler dans mon poignet ce n'est pas facile de cacher les cicatrices des gens je ne pense pas que quiconque s'en soucierait si j'étais parti mes parents ne semblent pas avoir le temps pour moi de toute façon |
French | Ex GF faisant un argument vraiment convaincant pour quitter ce monde qu'est-ce que j'ai récemment rencontré avec mon ex-petite amie que je sais être déprimé en grande partie afin d'essayer de revenir avec elle Dans notre processus de rattrapage, elle m'a dit qu'elle avait été sur une montre de suicide. |
English | I am in so much pain right now it's almost completely unbearable m in such intense emotional distress and being dead feels like a comforting option to end my suffering I know it may be an overreaction but being alive and pretending things are okay when they're not for so long feels like torture It just hurts so much I'm very empathetic, and I overthink about others, and it burns my soul to watch people suffer and not be able to help because I can barely help myself any more My stomach is constantly in knots my heart is racing and I can't even think straight It's just too hard to clear my mind of the injustice I see around me good people being hurt punished while cruel people are rewarded Why is some humanity so relentless and quick to sacrifice others I don't want to be around it any more I have no one to tell this to so I'm venting on the internet Thank you for taking the time to read this if you did |
French | null |
French | Ugh savoir que je dois être fort et le faire pour mon fils, mais c'est juste si putain dur Parfois, les seules pensées qui traversent ma tête sont tout ce que je déteste sur moi-même et combien je veux mourir Aujourd'hui mon collègue m'a dit que nos patrons ne me respectent pas et je ne crois pas vraiment que c'est vrai, mais ça fait toujours si mal Ma soirée vient de spirale hors de contrôle et je me sens tellement soufflé putain |
English | All the same Hey don't know why I write this but I guess it's hard to keep all it in for so long I think my first depressive episode happened when I went to high school to Since then I've been struggling with a sense of emptiness meaninglessness of life suicidal thoughts and suicide ideation Every day I've been waking up hoping to die and never planned anything for the future as I've always thoughts that in no time I will finally kill myself I've been numbing myself with alcohol getting blackout drunk almost every time I went out and eventually even my emotional reaction to suicidal thoughts became numbed as they became familiar I got used to them and decided that soon I will surely do it I passed my high schools finals with good marks went to college recently resigned from it and know I feel more lost than ever have no direction in life feel a great void inside of me and feel extremely loneliness as despite being I've never been in a relationship I act as if I'm okay barely anyone knows that I'm depressed and extremely disappointed with myself I go to therapist but it's hard to talk with her openly as i m afraid of being locked in a hospital if I tell her what's going on I just don't know if it makes sense to keep going If I've been feeling like that for so long maybe it s time to stop it Hell I don't know I wrote it quite quickly hope it makes sense |
French | Dans le parking de l'hôpital, je ne peux pas me convaincre d'y aller, je suis ici dans le parking de l'hôpital parce que j'allais tout finir pour échapper à mes problèmes, mais je ne peux pas me convaincre de sortir de ma voiture et de marcher. |
English | You people are amazing Mother of god I've been reading through a number of the comments on some posts and what you people have done is genuinely amazing I just found out about this Subreddit and I think it will help me out with where I am in life So to begin with yes I have constant thoughts of suicide but no I don't believe I could do that to myself directly instead I am often intentionally careless so that something may happen to me that would ultimately end it as in driving recklessly etc. So I believe that I am just simply Incredibly depressed I'm currently a high school señores and I've been having quite some issues with grades not that they are bad but they simply aren't good enough see I by virtue of who I am am I applying to some pretty academically challenging schools so I need impeccable grades to get into them and if I don't get into said schools well that would just make matters worse for me To make it worse aside from all the stress I put upon myself my mother is a funking maniac she demands that I be perfect in all ways possible almost to a psychotic level she is much too overcontrolling and I've told her that a number of times but she simply brushes that off My dad isn't much better he s out of town most of the time for businesses so when he is in town he is often uninformed of what's occurring at home and often gets quite inebriated in the evenings and proceeds to harass me in various ways despite that I'm a good inches taller than he do frequent a psychiatrist but I feel as if we only address my mother s needs not mine we only converse on a very shallow level and typically it feels as if she is reprimanding me I've tried tried so hard to branch out to my peers the teachers who actually care for me but I often hold myself back see the school I go to is very preppy it's all about self-image and if you tarnish your own image by admitting a weakness such as that people will take that and run with it at times it's a very hostile environment Furthermore my social life is very well it's not where I wish it Was where I think it could be I go to an all guys school very far away from where I live so a sexual issue relationship is virtually out of the question and since many relationships were Already in place in my class before I came to the school I'm a bit of a loner especially when it comes to hanging out I have no social life which is depressing because I think I am totally capable of having a decent one even more disappointing is that I don't have a girlfriend, yet my psychotic mother often pressures me into dating often into dating girls I either abhor or am total disinterested in from around where I live And not to be haughty but I think I'm a rather attractive guy who could be great to a deserving gal Lastly as I noted earlier I have had a number of falling outs with my family on holidays I'm often reclusive When my parents get to be overwhelming I often disappear for a few days Like this past thanksgiving I disappeared for the entire week ended up showing at my cousin s after my immediate family had left out of town and this isn't the first time this has happened Anyway I think once I go to college everything will be much better but I still need to get though the next few months any help advice anyone to talk to would be wonderful Thank you all for your time |
French | Je ne sais vraiment pas où me tourner, je n'ai pas eu d'endroit stable pour appeler à la maison depuis que je suis en train de me déplacer ici et là et dès que les choses commencent à aller bien, et je passe à l'étape suivante pour un avenir tout tombe à la merde tout tombe à la merde tout à la merde tout à la merde tout à la merde tout à la merde tout à la merde tout à la merde tout à la merde tout à la merde |
French | J'ai atteint un point de terminaison étrange Titre non spécifique que je connais mais je ne suis pas sûr comment sinon je n'ai plus peur de la mort ou j'en suis proche, j'ai eu des pensées suicidaires sur et hors de moi depuis des années et ils ont été émoussés par les médicaments mais la réalisation que ma vie va être un peu comme je vais être un peu d'un peu d'existence que je ne veux pas que je sois |
French | Dans quelques mois, j'aurai été déprimée pendant la plus grande partie de ma vie consciente Yep cliniquement déprimée S'il vous plaît, poussez-moi juste devant un train ou quelque chose comme ça. |
French | Quelles sont certaines choses à faire à des amis avant de me suicider, j'ai voulu leur écrire de courtes notes sur combien ils voulaient que je prenne des photos d'eux et fasse un collage et envoie à mon ex tout ce que j'aimais chez elle. |
English | It's not fairway I've been trying so hard After a month of completely isolating myself from everything I finally had enough strength in me to start trying to get better again I did so much more than I thought I'd be able to in a couple of days and now its come crashing down Every time I m given a slither of hope I catch the bait and then fall right back down to square I'm so tired I want this to stop so much I can't kill myself it feels like a hurdle far too high to jump over right now but Jesus fucking Christ do I not want to be alive I want to go back to before I was born I want to have never existed in the first place I was so proud of my pathetic attempt at progress and now I just feel so overwhelmed again I just hate when life decides to toss me a little bit of happiness I was getting used to the bad feelings again they were horrible but not nearly as bad as they are now directly after experiencing the ability to function slightly for the first time in over a month It's just not fair |
French | Jusqu'à une personne que je dois vivre pour la famille est partie maintenant Ils sont en vie, mais j'ai coupé tout contact avec eux Les amis sont en grande partie hors d'eux-mêmes Ils semblent aller bien sauf pour une Elle est la seule raison pour laquelle je ne suis pas parti, mais j'espère qu'elle obtient une meilleure dépression elle a eu une série difficile de choses ces dernières années afin que je puisse enfin penser à aller mourir n'est pas si facile même si nous le faisons tous |
English | Please hear me out I finally broke down and called the suicide prevention hotline last night I'm okay and self-aware enough in that I wouldn't ever follow through with any self harm but I'm just baffled that my brain keeps telling me to just fucking do it is used to happen every month or so Then it became every week Now every other day Seriously I have a good life I'm young I have a decent job comfortable pay I live with friends I'm socially apt I have modestly fulfilling hobbies I'm in awesome physical shape I cook Theoretically there should be no reason for me to feel like this but I guess logic and theory are pointless where my feelings are concerned I think I want to be able to hit Ctrl Z on my life and that's the reason for the thoughts I try to stow away the cringe of all the blunders I've made and they've finally stacked so high that they're spilling out of the box I'm a perfectionist and hypercritical of my self I just want to do life and do it right but I'm not skilled brave or patient enough to do that I just feel like trash I guess And the really sick part of me almost fantasizes about the way people would react to me making my exit No one would see it coming People always tell me how energetic lively and funny I am I don't know if they realize it's me trying so hard to make others happy because it's really me that needs a laugh and a hug I'm putting the responsibility of my happiness on others because I can't figure it out for myself Am I really this twisted How can I be surrounded by so many people and yet feel alone I've been writing it off for so long because I just assumed I was fetishizing suicide because I crave attention but I'm starting to think that I'm finally sick and maybe this is something I can't handle on my own after all Fucking poppy Hancock blackface |
French | Si vous repensez à la fin s'il vous plaît lire ce personnellement j'ai eu ma famille proche mourir avait des lésions cérébrales et corporelles traumatisantes au point où j'ai perdu ma capacité à lire et à déplacer l'agression sexuelle et bien les mauvaises choses continuent je ne suis pas en train de dire oh je l'ai eu pire mais créer l'expérience de oui je l'ai été un peu j'ai pensé que j'ai |
French | Je suis fatigué d'essayer d'oublier et de m'améliorer car ça ne marche pas, je suis prêt à me suicider et je cherche à le faire dans quelques jours. Avant je voulais juste parler à quelqu'un, mais maintenant je veux juste mourir. |
English | I'm a broken toy m ill I'm only getting worse and that's a big problem for my parents Because I'm failing college I've never had a job and I'm on the verge of another dramatic meltdown like I experienced one year ago to the week or so Panic disorder social anxiety agoraphobia None of these things are just being shy And none of them are cured by subjecting yourself to more and more exposure I've had no choice but to expose myself for the years that I've lived with these conditions You cannot live in the st century without having to talk to people I went through high school graduated I went to college where I am now I've pushed myself through every single presentation group project every class and now video conference expected of me I've pushed myself to appear at the field trips assemblies celebrations that weren't required but where I knew I was tacitly expected to be Every week in and out You would expect a change Oh just do it and it'll get easier You can't heal without putting yourself out there Last year October I had at my college campus panic that involved refusing to come home an active manhunt by campus police to locate me as I ran through woodlands and eventually barricaded myself up on the fourth floor of a main building where I proceeded to punch through doors flip tables scream like a banshee and almost end up involuntarily committed to a psych ward How did I avoid the last thing Well don't worry it was only a few months before I actually ended up being held in hospital against my will D I know what's wrong with me, I try relentlessly to tell my parents my extended family my friends and even teachers and pure strangers what is going on in my mind That their ideas about what will cure me ARE NOT what will cure me That panics are unstoppable once they're underway unless I have medicine which I don't always have And they tell me I'm lazy That I'm looking for excuses not to be in school That the money put into my education was wasted That I'm not committed to my own health That I'm untrustworthy That I'm overreacting that it's all in my head What wasn't in my head was growing up abused by my father walking on eggshells making sure not to trigger him in his irritable Bipolar moods Growing up beaten for not adhering strictly to rules I had to divine from his head because I should ve known that's what he wanted What isn't in my head is living with him for my entire life wary of even looking at him the wrong way lest I start an argument where things are thrown and I m kicked out for the the time in the past two years And growing up with a mother who does nothing but invalidate every feeling I have that isn't blind compliance Being followed behind and told to basically shut up any time I dare to panic dare to have a biological event happen that I can't control without medicine like I said Being reminded of all the times and all the ways I've failed Not having good grades because I couldn't ask teachers for help because anxiety and panics Not attending family get together anymore because I have lost my ability to speak to them because anxiety and panics Never acknowledging the bright side of things and ignoring my blessings because I have reverted to having a toddler s social aptitude because of this fucking disorder No, no I don't want to wait around for someone who loves me and cares about me, I've come across enough people already if none of them give a shit what the hell s the point in waiting any longer I don't want to hear it I don't want to live any more I'm going to do everyone a favor and shut down I'm the broken toy that disappoints everyone that plays with it |
French | J'ai posté ici peut-être une ou deux fois quand j'étais maniaque ou ainsi au printemps maintenant il est automne je vais juste y mettre fin pourquoi déranger d'être le loser eyeore loser et la fille qui est sur pornhub je ne trouverai jamais mon peuple pas les gens qui font la vie vaut la peine et moi-même sans honte ouais alors voici la décision aléatoire que je vais perdre ma carte v trop mûre d'ici ou pas qui se souci |
French | Je pense que je vais le faire, j'y ai beaucoup réfléchi et je pense que je vais enfin le faire, j'ai un plan et même un calendrier que je vais passer le mois prochain à mettre de l'ordre dans mes affaires et à m'assurer que je ne serai pas heureux. J'ai dit à mon meilleur ami ce qui se passe et ma décision et il n'a pas répondu Je ne m'attends pas à ce que je finisse. |
French | Comment se tirer une balle dans la bouche est la meilleure façon de se tuer soi-même ou y a-t-il un moyen de s'assurer que vous mourrez ou que les gens meurent toujours s'ils se tirent une balle dans la bouche, pas pour moi? |
French | Qu'avez-vous fait pour ne pas vous tuer Aujourd'hui, j'ai été sur ce Subreddit pendant des mois sous beaucoup de comptes différents, j'ai été celui qui aide les autres, parfois, je reçois de l'aide, je vois quelques messages de moi, directement avant ou après une tentative de suicide, et ceux pendant et après l'hospitalisation. |
French | Je vais me tuer tellement fatigué de tout, j'espère que tout se passera bien si je ne me mets pas à jour dans les prochaines minutes. |
English | My friend is suicidal what can I do Hi friends of Reddit One of my closest friends has been feeling depressed and suicidal for a long time over years and last night she confided in me that it was getting much worse recently She is feeling absolutely hopeless and the only thing holding her back is how much it would destroy her younger sister if she went through with it, She will lie in bed all day wishing she could stop existing I am the only one who knows about how she feels right now Her parents suspect it and her therapist probably too as she has already tried to commit suicide once before She won't tell anyone else because she fears their reactions Her mother is quite forceful her father the complete opposite and she feels uncomfortable talking to a stranger her therapist Her older sister is very aggressive, and she loves her younger sister too much to potentially upset her She feels like a burden to her family and strongly believes that they are only putting up with her because they have to We're both right now and it doesn't help that all of us around her have gone to university to study Her parents have tried to force her to go to university for the past two years but my friend has no interest whatsoever She is trying to get a job now but stays in bed all day because she has no interest in that either I've been through depression too though not nearly as long and for a completely different reason so I can tell that she's not being ridiculously lazy which her family thinks it's just the lack of will to even get up in the morning She's constantly panicking and paranoid about everything although she won't always show it I'm glad that she feels comfortable enough to talk to me, I am the only person she knows who has been through anything remotely similar but I don't know what to do except for listen to her and try and convince her that people do love her etc. I don't even know if that is the right thing to do She's very reliant on pills and is always wishing for a pill to cure this or cure that I told her that not every solution comes in pill form but looking back it may not have been the cleverest thing to say I'm just a bit lost but I am the only person she can talk to I want to be there for her and be the best friend I can possibly be for her So dearest Redditors any help you have for me is greatly appreciated Thanks a lot and hugs to everyone |
English | Im better but I'm fly scared ill rebecome that person again had suicidal thoughts for a long time i ve seen myself as a piece of shit that's not worth living I made a chart were I would put the pros and cons of killing myself the only reason i didn't do it was that I would scar my little sister for life and my mom would say it was her fault so I kept on going for years and now I'm and I actually getting better I started working out showering etc. but years of not caring it's not something you fix in a week of running the reason that I'm better is that a girl that I know for a while seems to care a lot for me and I'm fly scared that ill go back it feels very good to be able to go out with some friends without feeling like a don't belong and acting goofy to don't seem quiet but I'm petrified at night because I think that ill become that person again and that this is created by a dopamine rush or by being in love and that ill pass when it passes |
English | I'm real close to having a mental breakdown and I don't think I will be control myself Read my last posts to understand what's going on I don't know what to do any more I get less and less sleep because I don't want to sleep because I'm so tired of the nightmares the depression the PTSD the loneliness the getting used by my parents because I can't say no even tho they have failed me more time than I can count Like my father he left my life when I was and when I was, I think he came to c me a few times and then from there false promise after false promise and I forgave him every time then around or so he moved back to my city and at this time I'm living with my aunt because my mom was in prison every birthday and Christmas he would promise up and down for yrs that I would get that gift that I wanted and never got, but I forgave him but when I can't give him his gift for bday because I blew a tire, and he throws I fit because he was drunk as normal and says some real mean shit he told me that I was a mistake the condom ripped, and we decided to keep u and after that I don't remember That is the Most hurtful thing he's ever said and now Most of me wants to kill my self and if I have a mental breakdown that I feel coming I don't know what will happen |
English | Nobody is going to come and help me m even being harassed for being suicidal |
English | I'm killing myself on December I've got the date place and method set already Anything else I should do besides writing a will and suicide note |
English | I m just so sad this is really short IDK m really fucking sad I don't feel like explaining I just want to know things aren't all bad I used to like crying and now I just want it to stop |
French | Besoin d'aide pour un ami Bonjour suicide montre Je voudrais juste un conseil pour un ami Elle avait récemment posté des choses inquiétantes et suicidaires sur ses médias sociaux, mais je ne sais pas comment obtenir une aide réelle pour elle Si quelqu'un a des suggestions, ils seraient très appréciés |
French | Malgré ce que les médias disent que la dépression n'est pas traitable et demander de l'aide est inutile J'ai vu plus de deux douzaines de thérapeutes et pris presque tous les médicaments psychotropes Je suis inutile pour faire des choses encore pire pour les thérapeutes Je suis malade pour faire des choses Je suis malade pour faire des choses J'ai été malade pour faire des choses psychodynamiques J'ai été malade pour faire des choses J'ai été malade pour faire des choses |
English | Having nothing and no one Having children I can't take care of no financial stability whatsoever a mother who hates me and a father and brother who don't exist Having relationships that are of no sustenance Having lost the will to fight and live Having no sense of who I am nothing I give up |
French | Je me sens abandonné En raison de certaines maladies mentales, j'ai abandonné l'école où je sentais que les gens se souciaient de moi et se souciaient vraiment de mon existence. Mais depuis, je me suis rendu compte que personne ne se souciait de moi. Les gens m'ont envoyé des textos tout le temps et je pensais qu'ils avaient un intérêt général pour moi. |
French | Je continue à avoir envie de me tuer, je continue à rechercher la meilleure façon indolore de me tuer, je ne peux plus me prendre la vie, je ne fais plus rien, mais je me réveille, je mange, je vais dormir, comme si tous les jours je ne sortais pas seulement chez le médecin, mon trouble panique m'énerve, j'ai commencé une thérapie, mais je n'ai aucun espoir, je suis à la maison. |
English | Any advice Hey I m I was recently evicted from my last apartment Moved in with my uncle my social life is kinda in ruins and getting into college was my plan, but I guess that s been postponed due to complications I'm working construction Not a huge fan TBH I think my friends have all forgotten about me since we'll every time we talked before I left I was depressed And when I told them I was moving they seemed to take it as a goodbye forever I was hoping this would be a fresh start for me IDK even know what I want to do in college I've considered Navy a lot I can't afford college and high school I did really poorly I've been having feelings of patheticness I'm almost and have lost my friends and girlfriend I think a lot about using some rope to give myself a liberty knot So HHH any advice for someone at rock bottom |
English | See you all on the other sides that what life has been asking me to do my whole life then there you fucking go I'm done what a fucking joke of a life I've had I'm drugged and drunk enough to sign off see you all on the other side goodbye |
French | La vie c'est assez dit |
English | Last night I had a dream about causing a mass murder spree at my school Today I for some reason want to kill people and then kill myself at the end of it all There's clearly something not right here and my desire to kill myself feels stronger more vivid |
French | null |
French | Sous beaucoup de stress et de douleur et pourrait utiliser un peu d'aide Au cours des derniers mois, je me sens vraiment merde Je ne me sens pas triste Je n'ai jamais rien à voir avec les paroles Je me sens tellement vide Je ne comprends pas d'où ça vient, mais il est probable que je suis et toute ma famille est maintenant émigrer de l'Afrique du Sud je suis ami de l'Afrique du Sud j'ai des amis |
English | I SUCK rant so IDK why I'm doing this but i don't have anyone to comfortably tell this to so why not the whole internet I've probably been suicidal since I was when I was I had to watch my mom and cousin be murdered my other cousin is still mentally and physically handicapped to this day due to this event while I escaped with only a fully fractured head just backstory above ever since then I've felt guilty because my experience was so much less compared to everyone else after the event various family members would tell me I should have dies instead or you shouldn't be alive or I wish they were here instead of you, or you have no reason to have pity when the other family members had to go through so much more and things along these lines I understand why they said it though I agree if only I had dies instead my sisters could have a mom, and they could stop crying themselves to sleep anxiety problems having breakdowns if I had dies my dad could have his one and only true love, and he could stop being sad but hiding it because he wants to be strong for us sometimes I think why couldn't I save them so that they could still be alive the reason is that I'm a terrible weak selfish conceited no good person I saved myself but not them after the funeral and everything is when I began to be abused verbally physically mentally it all ran together through this I could see how much pain my life caused the people around me, I knew if I was going to help anyone it would be to kill myself so they could at least not have a reminder of the event cause that's what I am a reminder of the day my dad lost his wife my siblings lost their mom my grandparents lost their daughter my aunts and uncles lost their sibling it goes on and on the scars that run over my skull are a reminder that I lived and my torture couldn't have been as bad as theirs because I'm here and they aren't so a month after the deaths I tried to slit my wrists I was so stupid me a four-year-old thinking you have even power to cut deep enough for you to die i couldn't cut far enough before I cried in pain so then it was treated and I had to say I was trying to cut some fruit and the knife slip how my family believed that i don't know so then life went on and no one knows that it wasn't an accident ii had breakdown after breakdown years after that but I had to do it where no one could see me because i didn't want to cause pain to anyone around me, I had to act fine and unaffected until I was called robot by family and friends but I did have emotions i just didn't want to express them since then I never wanted to be happy because I fell like it would be an insult to my mom and cousin and the people around me how can she be happy when she made the people around her hurt so much i don't think I've ever been happy and I take pride in that if I have never been happy then I'm not taking away the happiness my mom or cousin could have experienced i didn't fully try to comment suicide again until last year i didn't want to experience pain though which made it worse my family members dies because of the pain they had to endure and i couldn't even slit my wrists so I could bleed out i couldn't experience the pain of feeling bleach going down my throat i couldn't endure the few seconds of felling the breath being taken away from me by strangling so I chose the only painful way I knew i odd on a combination of so many pills but I got saved, and the doctors said the only reason you lived is cause you didn't chose the right combination of pills so there's another thing I failed at i couldn't even chose the right pills so I could die I was out of school for a month and didn't contact anyone while I was gone the only ones that knew anything happened was my dean and the teachers knew it was a medical reason but didn't know the details while I was in the hospital I was alone all the time so I began seeing how I could kill myself even while being monitored I saw how this girl killed herself by starvation I had finally found something I knew I could accomplish and would have at least a little pain in it so I could give what my family members gave so I slowly stopped eating I was allowed to wear my own clothes so I just got baggy clothes so i wouldn be revealed I acted happy when i received food, so everyone would not be suspicious then at the end of my stay I got weighed again when I went I was which is already underweight when I got out I was all the doc and therapists were all shocked, but they legally had to let me go home I stayed for a week at home with my parents until I went back to school when I walked in everyone just stopped then my best friend came up to me and said are you ghost we all thought you were dead which made me hurt so much I should have been dead then she realized how small I was and was like what happened but i couldn't tell her the whole day I heard whispers of how bad I looked and how skinny I had gotten and how I looked like I was about to collapse I felt like that too then I got admitted to an eating hospital so I got better I'm better know but then I have people telling me how bad I look know that I'm a healthy weight so i I'm going to start starvation again I hope I can finally accomplish something and successfully do it we will see amp x B so yeah IDK why I said all that or if this I even the right place to post but oh well |
English | Anyone here had a girl pretend to like flirt with them as a dare IDK whether this is the right sub for this If you haven't let me tell you it's not a nice feeling It's not a nice feeling knowing you're so hideous that a girl literally has to be dared to flirt with you If anyone does ever like me for real in the future I'll probably dismiss them and cut them off because I'm so used to that shit I'm just tired |
English | Here goes nothing Warning Life story that may not be worth reading ahead I have been a pessimist since about the rd grade meaning since that young age I always look for the worst in things I think the main reason for this has to do with me being the younger sibling to my sister She has always seemed to be the highlight of my parent s life She is set the standard for what my parents wanted in a child So I strived to be just that, but it seemed every time I would do something right or worthy of praise my sister would be right there outdoing me Seeing as it would be impossible to outdo her or live up to the standard she set I just stop trying so hard I was constantly sad and felt like I was being overlooked all the time Anyway when I stopped trying so hard to impress my parents all the time I started to do worse in school the rd grade and my parents took notice I felt bad that I had angered them but felt good to be the center of their attention for once So I continued to do subpar in school even though I understood all the material and was a tad smarter than the rest of my classmates Grading period after grading period my parents would spend roughly one week of their life giving a greater amount of attention to me helping me with anything and telling me they believed in me and that they knew I could do better than I was doing I felt good to have them pay attention to me in the way I wanted to It wasn't good attention, but it was attention and that's what I wanted deep down But around the time I entered the the grade they started growing tired of my antics in school I was reprimanded more than given assurance and this is where my downfall started to spiral My sister continued to outdo me, and I was trapped in this spiral of bad grades It had become a habit at that point I had become lazy and an all around bad student I was smart but just didn't feel the need to continue trying all to hard in school Fast forward to the the grade at this point in my life I was just constantly sad all the time I was still trapped in this habit of laziness and lying A LOT my parents weren't all too fond of me They tried everything ranging from stripping me from video game and t v rights to just grounding me Nothing worked, and they were constantly mad at me, It was bad I would cry at night almost everyday making sure not to be too loud I didn't want them to know or wake up Everyday I would contemplate why I existed and why I was such a piece of shit person I hated myself I hated myself in everyday possible I never tried to look at the good aspects of my life because I knew that the bad outweighed the good I beat myself up mentally I would even take the time out of my day to list all the things I thought were wrong with me and how I was nothing compared to my sibling I forgot to mention that my parents had another child in my brother who I felt they loved on the same level that they did my sister I was one of those kids that looked fine and okay on the outside but on the inside was a mental shitstorm I was insecure as hell and had zero confidence in everything I did The thought of suicide started to creep into my mind This got really bad after a while I would daydream about it think about it at night and even plan it out a couple of times I wimped out every time because I didn't have the resources to do it in a quick and painless way Anyway so one day I guess I left one of these notes I use to write out behind on my desk at school on accident and my teacher stumbled upon it The next day my teacher confronted me about it and told me he had to inform my parents because he was concerned about my mental health good guy right So later that night he calls up my mom, and they have a short conversation about it, She talks to me about it and asks me if I want to see a doctor or psychologist or a shrink about it, I said no despite really wanting to because I felt that my parents would hate me for putting them through something like that and that was the end of that Enter high school freshman me and I'm still a mental emotional wreck But things start to look up I made a couple friends Wanting to impress and gain some attention from my dad I join the wrestling team He is ecstatic for my sudden interest in a physical sport He starts to recognize me as a son that he wanted all along So I wrestle Through that I made a bunch of friends and gained some confidence and muscle tone High school was pretty good but my grades still sucked, and I was still pretty messed up mentally and emotionally having a couple of cheating girlfriends didn't help at all My dad overlooked my grades because he was infatuated with my sports career I was pretty good My sister got into USC and my parents couldn't be more happy I died a little inside knowing I would never live up to that Fast forward again to senior year I'm almost a shoo in to be a state qualifier in wrestling than the unthinkable happens I dislocate my shoulder the day before the season starts and out for the rest of the season I was devastated, but my dad was surprisingly supportive of me for about two weeks After that I went back to just being a person in the household I have no real significance in my parents eyes again I get into casual marijuana use and finish off my remainder of high school kind of apathetic to the world Fast forward to college current day I enter the engineering program at a local cal state Why engineering you ask Because when my parents said I should go into a well paying career field engineering and I said yes their eyes lit up like the night sky on the the of July Depression strikes again, and I fucking hate the living shit out of myself I get chewed up there my grades drop badly mostly due to calculus and my habitual laziness I decide to go with one of my passions in graphic design and do ok in some of my classes I fail a couple and one of my teachers last quarter decided not to drop me from my class despite me not showing up to a single class Fast forward to today I receive a letter stating that I have been academically disqualified, and my parents hate me for it Absolutely hate me I'm stuck back in my eighth grade right now contemplating why I m such a piece of shit why I'm a dumbass who just can't do anything right I'm on the edge right now and I've got nothing now I'd pull the trigger if I had the gun to do it, but I don't I'm a piece of shit and I know it No job no school no nothing I don't know what the fuck to do right now and I'm scared shitless I'm a wreck and I don't know what to do any more I've been heavily considering ending my life for the past hours, but I just don't know how to do it |
English | I m ready wish I could say life s been enjoyable, but that would be a lie I'm out |
French | Est-ce que faire une tentative de ma vie pendant cette quarantaine mettrait une pression importante sur le système de santé hospitalier local Pas sûr si c'est le bon endroit pour poster ceci mais une véritable question que je vis au Royaume-Uni si cela aide et ne voudrait pas faire quoi que ce soit qui chargerait le système pendant la quarantaine et potentiellement mettre en danger la vie des gens en termes de manque d'équipement Je peux dire au-delà de tout doute raisonnable que personne dans ma famille a le virus. |
English | I m going to kill myself Hi I m and I'm a girl even though it isn't so important to know But I'm currently struggling with my self-image and school I have no friends I try to start up conversations it never goes anywhere I want to get fit and be prettier because maybe if I get abs and collarbones people will think I'm cool I want to finish school and have a future but it's too hard to go there and sit with stomach pain I always try to sit straight and suck in my stomach I never eat anything because I don't want to get fatter I will probably fail everything, so I don't even know why I try to bother living I want to live like everyone else beautiful smart and with an education If I don't get better soon I will kill myself next year when I will get my grades then I know if I m shorty or not Thank you for reading I'm currently seeking help but it doesn't work |
French | Je suis un gaspillage inutile d'espace me déteste tellement que je ne peux pas arrêter de boire et mon SO continue de le permettre, je suis tellement tenté d'aller me faire sauter la cervelle en ce moment, je déteste être en vie, je déteste être moi |
French | Pourquoi est-ce que ça ne s'en ira pas ? J'en ai assez que la maladie mentale soit la seule chose à laquelle je pense. |
French | J'ai écrit ceci pour une fille quand j'étais des années plus tard, elle m'a dit cette semaine qu'il a aidé à sauver sa vie et l'a renvoyé à moi, je ne sais pas si elle aidera n'importe qui mais ici dans le bois côte à côte Dans l'obscurité nous doucement foulée Sa peur elle me dit alors avec des histoires racontées de ce qui se passe ici sans le soleil Mais l'obscurité n'est pas la seule peur qu'elle avait pendant qu'elle vivait |
English | Why I've struggled with the thought of suicide my entire life well as long as I can remember My life just feels like a waste of time not worth the worry or bother I have had an amazing career as a cinematographer an amazingly beautiful wife and animals But now I work selling snake oil for a major MLM wasting all momentum I built up My beautiful wife isn't attracted to me sexually, and we go a minimum of months without intimacy I've lived life without religious beliefs and the only thing that really has meaning to me is this phrase life really doesn't mean anything but the meaning we create for it So now I don't know what my meaning is I feel as if my life is slowly becoming American Beauty where the highlight of my day is jacking off in the shower Sorry a little all over the place here Feeling pretty lost |
English | Having to rely on someone is horrible had suicidal thoughts for over years now and am extremely shy and an extreme introvert But I still somehow managed to open up to one of my teachers half a year ago He took it perfect and doesn't pressure me into doing anything I'm not comfortable with due to anxiety But I definitely don't consider myself as brave for doing so In fact my one friend who knows about all my troubles had to drag me to him again after our first conversation I simply don't want to bother him and be a burden especially since it isn't his job he told me twice it is indeed part of his job but I'm still worried I'm transgender FTM and my mother didn't took my outing well told me she would rather have died by breast cancer and I wouldn't be her child anymore while my father is totally fine with it After a short amount of time when I tried to think positive I completely lost all of my confidence and completely dropped the topic and started to drown in self-hate My teacher offered to have a chat with my father and me which did happen, but apparently it was unimportant enough for my father to completely forget about it within one week This was in December and after hearing him say that he thought everything was just a phase I can't get myself to address it to him again Originally my teacher and I settled on me reaching out to a professional therapist, but I don't have the courage to do so For me that was it I still got in the new year scared like hell of it because I don't want it to be as awful as the last one and chose on a date to commit suicide Needless to say I didn't have the balls to pull through with my plan quite literally I don't think people commit suicide because they don't want to live anymore but because the don't know how any more So there I was with my dark cloud above my head again not knowing what to do I really didn't want to bother my teacher again I didn't want to disappoint him It's horrible having to rely on someone because you're just so useless Because you're selfish and want to be who you are Because you can't stand up for your opinion But I did it last week regardless, and now I have to wait again because he can't come up with a solution immediately of course And now I'm impatient and worried because he didn't get in touch with me again yet Am I overthinking everything Yes And because I needed to get this out I wrote this post Bye for now |
English | Suicide depression anxiety help new to this first time Hi everyone I'm new to Reddit and wouldn't mind some peoples opinions I've never done this before so don't know how it will come out or how it will come across but It's something I feel I need to do I've suffered with social anxiety all my life I've always just thought I was shy nervous etc. and have only thought about it the past few years I'm btw I'm currently at university in my second year and I'm struggling terrible with my anxiety I struggle on my course I struggle with friends i barely ever go in with my panic attacks or just the feelings I get from my peers on my course or the work etc I'm just trying to summarize a bit and I'm probably writing for the sake of writing so I'm sorry I haven't been into uni for months I'm still trying to do the work by myself I lie to my mum and brother about how it's going as i contract to let them down and fail them again I've already failed one year at another uni because of my anxiety and depression They don't know I have anxiety or depression I plucked up the courage to go to my doctors about it years odd later and was diagnosed with it, I rejected the medication as again I got too worried and scared I lied to my GP when I saw her about suicidal thoughts and drugs was that the right thing to do i DON'T want people to treat me differently or have to go to any hospital etc. Should I go back and tell them I'm suicidal the thoughts are increasing I've googled the best ways I think to do it etc. I've thought of lots of things around it such as how I've let my parents down if I fail uni again etc. Also i don't know if i should talk to a friend about this I've only ever talked to a mental health practitioner about how I feel but again not fully about suicidal thoughts etc. I've got one friend who I'm super close with I've known her for years she's had depression like me and I got her through hers but never told her about mine I never really understood that I had it when she told me about hers I basically want to tell her about everything she already knows everything about me but this she knows about my anxiety and meetings with people about it But should I tell her about my suicidal thoughts i really don't want to affect the relationship I have with her by telling her currently crying writing this Will it affect my friendship with her if I tell her will she treat me differently will I regret it Also I've started drinking more and taking more drugs like MDMA and cannabis to try to stop my worries What do people think of this I love the high of MDMA it just chills me out and gives me such happiness which I'm struggling to get more and more each day I'm just trying to forget about this shit world and bubble of worry I'm in I can't even order food at a restaurant etc. I get so worried and panicky Should I try to go back to my GP and tell them that I've been taking a fair amount of drugs to stop me feeling like this currently on MDMA writing this Should I tell them about my suicidal thoughts because I lied the first time I'm scared of what will happen and find it so hard to talk about and say Going back to uni I've not been into one of my modules all year and I've not been put onto the exam timetable This is freaking me out massively I've mailed my tutor to say I've been missed off but now I'm thinking what if they don't let me on it because I've not been there all year or attended anything to do with it What if this makes me fail uni I can't do another year out working letting my mum down I'd rather end my life the shame of it all again I've been thinking of what I could do for a job always wanted to be a Royal marine ever since I was a kid but would they let me in especially with my mental health condition I've also thought it would a good job to have as I'm not afraid to die I've thought about it so much that I'm not sure I would mind it would be an easy way I guess Sorry if this doesn't make sense or has come across as just muddled up rubbish I'm just writing off the cuff and just need answers and help I'm stuck in my own head I can't escape and don't know what to do Just going to go get pissed now to forget this |
English | I hope I don't wake up tomorrow After several recent failed attempts to end my life by hanging myself I finally bit the bullet and decided to instead take my life by taking all my prescription meds at once There's a good chance that even at this dosage it won't be enough but at least I can have some relief Tonight instead of lulling myself to sleep with made up stories of how I'm going to die in a terrible accident the next day I am for the first time in months happy because it is no longer a made up story There is a chance a small chance of course but it's still there that I will actually find the peace that I've been longing for I suffer from Major Depressive Disorder which I'm sure many of the posters here share I was diagnosed a few months ago when I became cognizant of the voice in my head that pushed me to end my life Whether it was telling me to jump in front of the subway as it was pulling up to my station to run into oncoming traffic or to jump out the window it would always chime in the second it found a scenario that ended with me dying Fast forward from May to today and intense therapy many medications ranging from SSRIs and SSRIs to Lithium and bi-weekly blood tests I'm exhausted My mental health has only continued to deteriorate at a pace that I have no semblance of control over And to tell you the truth I no longer care The same worry that brought me to my Therapist in May has been eroded as has any hope of containing my mental decline I no longer enjoy the things that just a few months ago brought me joy I have isolated myself from all my friends avoided making new ones and drifted away from my family I so desperately seek something to give me a reason to live but I just can't justify it anymore You know the truly sad part I have no reason to be like this In the past year I lost over pounds while hitting the gym I have kept a GPA and am ready to head into law school I have a family who know of my struggles and refuse to let me drop them But none of that matters to me, I will never look good enough I will never be smart enough I will never be popular enough I will never be good enough for me So as my eyes are now physically starting to close due to my full supply of hardcore sleeping meds I have been left with only one choice one last hope to appease myself I am going to bed genuinely happy as I know that this time there's a solid chance that I will not have to repeat my regular cycle Now I can finally be at peace |
French | null |
French | Une seule façon de rendre les choses meilleures maintenant, j'ai eu de l'aide, j'ai attendu et j'ai essayé tout ce que je pouvais penser et je me suis presque trompé en pensant que cela fonctionnait Heureusement, on m'a rappelé à quel point je suis indésirable et sans valeur, je suis en train de remonter la date de mon suicide à ce mois de décembre, probablement autour de Noël comme un beau cadeau à tout le monde. |
French | Je vais me suicider ce soir, j'en ai assez Ce serait beaucoup plus simple pour tous ceux que j'aime si j'arrêtais d'exister, je suis un menteur, un toxicomane, un voleur et une personne horrible en général, je suis trop loin et je préfère être mort que ce que je suis maintenant, je ne peux pas changer qui je suis, et je ne veux pas vivre avec moi-même. |
French | S'il vous plaît laissez-moi mourir laissez-moi être fini je ne peux pas me tuer parce que j'ai vraiment des gens qui m'aiment, mais je sais que tout ce que je devrais être est mort quelqu'un s'il vous plaît juste f me tuer |
French | J'ai peur de partir, mais je veux aller je veux partir mal, mais j'ai peur de continuer ma plus grande peur est d'être laissé seul, et j'ai un peu j'ai peur, et je veux mourir, mais j'ai peur de ce qui vient après ce qui va arriver à mon chien comment va-t-elle me sentir disparaître ce que ma mère va faire elle est sur sa dernière ligne ce que mon ami va penser ce qui va m'arriver |
French | Ex hacker passe par Quarter-life crise Donc aujourd'hui, je me suis tourné laissez-moi vous parler de moi et ce que je traverse Je suis actuellement en attente d'accusations fédérales réalistes pour fraude informatique pour spamming sur mes années de spam et de jeu mal acquis J'ai ramassé un emploi que j'ai toujours gagné de l'argent. |
English | I have thoughts of committing suicide lately Hello guys I wish to you a very good day So I would like to tell a bit about me, I'm a guy who has years old And I'm Agnostic And I live in a strictly Middle Eastern Islamic country I used to believe in religion, but now I don't because all the violence which I figured out in it, I'm hiding my disbelieve in the religion for my own safety My life will be threatened if my agnosticism revealed I could be infidel in the eyes of the religious people I was always dreaming of living in a place which I can confess that I'm Agnostic and living in peace without getting my life threatened I wanted to have a partner and children who I can bring them up on my beliefs I don't like to date the girls of this country because the majority of them are Muslims Anyway it's prohibited and unalloyed for the girls of this country to meet or talk with a guy So here's what happened I met a girl who is a foreigner she is a Muslim, but she is very modern and has the characteristics of the girl which I have always dreamt of them We started to talk she was interested in me as a lover, and so I am in the beginning As days go by I attached to her so much I liked her personality And I wanted to marry her After we met several times and talk to each other she started to not be interested in me as a lover anymore but only a friend But my interest in her as a lover was remaining I didn't know that she started to see me only as a friend Our meetings remained And one day I found out that she has a fiancé I was totally in shock How could she has a one while she is with me, I confronted her of that, and she said that's nothing of your business you are only my friend At this moment I figured out that she was seeing me only as a friend which puts in a severe depression and makes me look down to myself because she chose him instead of me The world got so dark and abandoned in my eyes And I felt that everything is tight on me Because the girl of my dreams falls in the arms of another man I started to have thoughts of committing suicide and telling to myself this is enough of living this life Thoughts have come to my mind mentioning to me that I will never get out of this place and I will never get a partner Just end your life Please guys I would like to hear your advice Thank you for reading |
English | I'm fresh out of hope and I want to die These past few years have been absolute shit I keep on thinking that I'm going to find a way that ill finally improve myself and everything is going to get better But I feel like I'm just constantly walking in fucking circles with this shit Nothing has gotten better I can't keep any promises to myself because I promised we would make some changes, but nothing has fucking changed I know I should be thankful After all so many people have it worse I'm just being dramatic I shouldn't be feeling this way I'm too young to be like this But I can't fucking take more of this shit I'm obviously not strong enough to bury it all deep down like my mom says she does Where the fuck can I expect to go in life when I'm fucking lazy and incredibly unremarkable I'm sorry I don't know where else to put this I don't know who to tell I don't want to keep going anymore |
French | Je me tue sur le Mayo J'y pense depuis longtemps Je ne veux plus être en vie Il semble que personne ne se soucie de moi La seule raison pour laquelle je ne suis pas encore mort est que je ne veux pas blesser mon père Mais ce n'est pas à propos de lui C'est pourquoi j'ai décidé de me donner plus de jours pour tout finir et me préparer |
English | I'm begging you please kill me It would appear I'm unable to do it myself Not yet anyway I need it to be now though Please please kill me I can't take it anymore This will never end unless I'm dead So please kill me |
French | Je ne sais plus quoi faire La vie peut aller assez vite Il y a un an J'étais joueur étoile à mon équipe de football locale et régionale Aujourd'hui, je pense me mettre des balles dans la tête tous les jours Je vis avec la dépression l'année dernière |
French | Comment puis-je être hospitalisé? J'ai perdu mon emploi et je suis tellement déprimé que je ne peux même pas fonctionner. Je ne peux pas faire quoi que ce soit que mon mari me demande littéralement. Je ne peux même pas poster quelque chose. |
English | Help My mom is extremely abusive physically and mentally but she is my family s only provider I don't have anywhere to go if I leave and I have younger siblings that I love with all my heart I try to stay strong for them but now it's getting impossible hard to stay strong I don't want to hurt them if I kill myself but I just don't know what to do |
French | null |
French | Phobies et santé mentale s'inquiète trop fort Mon hypocondrie a déclenché un épisode maniaque il y a quelques jours et je ne peux pas voir un médecin pour le problème Je suis anxieuse jusqu'en avril J'ai perdu des lbs Je ne peux pas dormir plus longtemps que des heures et je reçois tout l'autre côté de la peur je suis agitée, je suis agitée, je suis agitée, je suis agitée, je suis agitée. |
French | Je me sens seul et indésirable Aujourd'hui, c'est l'anniversaire de mon année, je déménage loin de chez moi pour aller à mon collège de rêve, j'ai déménagé vers le sud à cause de ce que mes frères m'ont dit, je déménage de chez moi, poussez-vous en dehors de votre zone de confort, et vous serez incroyable avec combien vous grandissez. |
English | There are a few moments when I read and watch things that make me lose all hope for humanity I watched a short film of a movie based in It was the idea of a utopia I saw a man with a lot of junk on him and I thought it was futuristic life support The visions came, and soon I realized it was a handicap to keep him from thinking intelligently Late at the end I noticed it showed his son being taken by the government His son appears on T V the government can't contain him he shows people without handicaps he gets shot just look up the movie and stop reading because I know you probably skipped through most of this and I don't have the patience to make these gigantic sentences Do you ever get the feel the worst is being shown to you and that no matter how hard you try you know something as close to Nazism like that could actually happen I'd be f ed if I ever have my intelligence be taken away from me, I don't believe someone is watching over me just to drag me out of every situation I'm going to die because someone out there is going to kill me because in these days dying of age is a fairy tale |
English | I made an account just to at least leave something behind even thought this will probably get deleted This is the first and probably last time I'll post to Reddit Around next month I'll be gone I'll probably just buy some rope and go into the nearby forest It's laughable that my last escape would be on Reddit I'm a struggling year old college student and I have tried so hard just to reach this point, but I guess I m at my breaking point Depression I don't know if I have it or not either way I'll just end up dead in some forest So yeah if you see any news about a guy hanging himself in the forest then it might be me |
French | S'il te plaît, est-ce que quelqu'un peut me parler, je pourrais me tuer |
English | Having really erratic behavior Constantly thinking of suicide some of this from alcohol, but this is the problem I really don't know what day it is Friends won't talk to me any more Really having a hard time differentiating when I am asleep and when I am awake I call crisis lines, but they just tell me to go to the hospital I go to the hospital, and they throw me in a psyche ward Then I get out then it all starts over again found out they say I have borderline personality disorder Knowing that seems to have made me even crazier I just really feel like I am about to die suicide or not no one left to call I am not a little kid I am middle-aged And I am scared I am pretty sure I almost got committed last Thursday One minute I am laughing next minute I am crying This morning was so weird I kept getting out of bed and doing stuff but I wasn't out of bed I was asleep dreaming I was awake It must have happened times I mean you wake up get out of bed cook some eggs and bacon Oh no you don't You're still asleep Feel like I am going crazy and no one will talk to me any more I really don't feel like I am control any more I feel like I am just along for the ride and there is no telling what is going to happen so fuck me fuck I wish I was dead |
French | Honnêtement, je ne sais pas comment je vais faire pour en faire une autre année, encore moins un mois, tout est nul et cette année a pris un départ horrible L'année dernière et avant était si difficile que je ne sais même pas comment je vais le faire cette année à moins que les choses ne s'améliorent magiquement. |
English | So I have this friend And she's better than me at absolutely everything I've struggled with depression since second grade but I know reality when I see it and for once reality looks even grimmer than what s in my head Long story short if I do anything she's already accomplished it and done it twenty times better than I did I used to be valedictorian until she came along and now she s shoved me down into the middle of our class I was elected to a secretary position for a student organization and suddenly she in her presidential position took over all of my jobs and won't even let me do anything everyone is constantly fawning over her and how much she does, and then they look at me with disdain as if to say what are you doing you worthless slug Get off your ass and help her I tried to make it into NHS this year and not only was I the only one of my friends without a form filled out to the very edges with activities and merit but mine was only about half full She filled two I'm a journalist for Model UN but she's the Vice President I wouldn't even be upset if she wasn't a bossy whiny spoiled bitch I wouldn't be upset if everyone actually had a logical view on her instead of adoring her blindly just because puberty has done her well It s gotten to a point where I'm just done I'm well aware that I'm a failure and for some reason the world just sees fit to rub it in my face I m done living in it, I have no hope for a career and no plausible future No one would even notice if I just didn't show up at school one day I doubt they'd even remember I existed long enough to come to my funeral I'm sick of being invisible the last choice useless and hated I'm just sick of living The only person who will miss me is my boyfriend but even he will forget about me in time |
French | Est-ce que devenir très ivre rendrait moins effrayant que je n'ai jamais bu avant si je viens de boire une bouteille entière me rendra plus courageux pour ne pas avoir peur et revenir en arrière comme les autres fois IDK beaucoup sur l'alcool désolé si c'est une mauvaise question |
French | ils sont de retour la dépression d'anxiété ils sont de retour et pire qu'avant bien qu'il se sente comme si elles sont les seules avec moi son getting mauvais j'ai arrêté de manger ont été calmes mes pensées sont la course je ne peux pas gérer cela plus |
English | Nothing gets better should be feeling better right Things have been getting a bit better but I am feeling worse I just want to leave I m out of idea I'm just so tired |
French | Posted by u deleted Si j'avais un nickel pour chaque fois que je l'ai vu sur mon profil lorsque je vais vérifier sur un sujet que j'aurais peut-être réaliste |
French | Avez-vous déjà rêvé de la mort et de la mort, je garde un journal de rêve et sur Parfois, je vais avoir un rêve où je vais mourir ou suis quelques secondes loin de mourir sans échappatoire, je vais rêver que je suis sur le point d'obtenir T boned par un autre véhicule ou je viens de tomber d'un immeuble incroyablement grand ou qu'un bon rapace je viens de sortir du plafond et de m'éparpiller lol |
English | Here I am In a place of complete emptiness How great Just when I thought life can maybe get better I get molested today Just hours ago by my boss I hate myself and I don't want to live through this I'm sorry, but I can't hold back my tears anymore |
English | I want to drive away and hang myself I'm so tired No one gives a shit about how I feel My parents don't give a shit They remind me what a disappointment I am No matter how hard I try I will never satisfy anyone No matter how hard I try no one will ever think I'm worth talking to All these medications they put you on don't do anything I don't want to get better any more I want to not feel anything anymore |
English | I should be happy My ex-boyfriend dumped me May I can't get over him, I've been getting high on my anxiety meds because we were friends up until Friday I'm so lost and alone I'm fat unattractive and I've never had much luck with men I think I should bow out |
English | I m going to do it really soon just watch |
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