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French | J'ai besoin d'aide Personne dans ma famille ne m'aidera Chaque fois que je demande de l'aide, ils disent toujours la même chose, ça ira mieux et je sais que ça prendra du temps. Mais ils n'écoutent jamais rien de ce que j'ai à dire sur ma santé mentale. |
English | Fuck everything can't take it anymore Everyone I love is fucking leaving me and I don't know why I'm just a huge ass burden on everyone and offing myself would be just doing everyone a favor, but I can't even do that right I can't stand being alone all the time I m such a goddamn fuckup All I ever do is bother others drink and waste time online Every goddamn day I'm so fucking worthless to everyone that if I were to go through with it the only ones who d notice are those that d smell my rotting corpse I'm so sick of being in constant pain and crying everyday I just want everything to be over |
French | Je ne peux plus le faire, je vais le faire ce soir, je suis tellement fatigué de vivre et de faire semblant d'être heureux pour les gens, j'ai tout essayé de la thérapie à la médecine à l'exercice et rien n'a fonctionné, j'ai grandi dans un ménage abusif et j'ai été déprimé depuis que j'étais et j'ai des problèmes d'anxiété tous les deux de mes parents m'ont abandonné et fondamentalement tout ce que j'ai |
French | Je n'ai pas eu d'ami depuis la troisième année Quand j'étais en première année de lycée, je ne voulais pas rentrer à cause de mes parents toxiques et je me promenais sans but pendant des heures alors que je ne pleurais pas. |
French | Avant de partir logistiquement, que dois-je faire avant de partir, j'ai essayé de trouver des réponses directes et je ne peux rien y faire avec mes prêts étudiants ou mon compte bancaire, comment puis-je gagner ma vie, comment puis-je dire au revoir sans laisser les gens savoir ce que je prévois de faire, comment puis-je leur faciliter la tâche, s'il vous plaît, ne me dites pas de ne pas le faire. |
French | Je ne peux pas penser à une seule raison de ne pas CTB à ce rythme, je ne dirais généralement pas quelque chose comme ça, car je suis plus un auto-agriculteur, mais sérieusement l'homme ce que l'enfer est mon avenir Littéralement rien |
French | Quel est le point Ne peut pas être demandé de fournir une description |
English | On a dark path need some words ve been depressed for as long as I can remember and feeling suicidal lately Tonight I took a huge potentially fatal dose of opiates not with suicide intent but certainly a fuck it attitude My family is limited to parents and a very distant brother they are totally dysfunctional and have a very cold sort of love for me, I had parents growing up not loving parents I don't have the same happy supportive net that many do here so in many ways this makes me feel lonely Friends this is where I really struggle I have a few close friends and a wide network of friends Nobody to really hang out with and comfortably talk about problems though It s been this way my whole life I get incredible anxiety and crushing loneliness on the weekends when I spend whole days alone because nobody bothers with me despite my extraordinary efforts Relationships I had a very, very intense one and felt happy for a brief period I opened up to her like a book, and she walked out on me crying on the floor of our empty house after the last of the stuff had been gone She left to go work on herself and is now taking cocaine multiple days a week and hooking up with strangers I haven't seen her since I haven't met anyone else since had the emotional energy to go on a date or rather pathetically managed to even muster the confidence to hook up with anyone I've been on a path of things will get better if you work hard on yourself for YEARS now I've put my blood and soul into hobbies gym socializing work Where am I The lowest mentally I've ever been I moved city to try a fresh start the same At the end of the day the commonality is always ME Maybe it's my appearance body language something about me that just makes me meh to other people some sort of background noise Maybe my brain is dysfunctional and wasn't meant to be happy constantly overthinking and overanalyzing I used to be depressed but buoyed by bursts of hope driven life enthusiasm now I feel so disillusioned that I dismiss the hope and every day feels like a chore I think I will probably end up killing myself in the near future |
French | Je veux partager mon état d'esprit et voir si quelqu'un se sent de cette façon parce que je ne lis pas beaucoup sur ici Sur le papier, ma vie, je suis un beau mec, je suis déprimé, je suis chaud, je suis fou, je suis heureux, je suis heureux, je suis heureux, je suis heureux, je suis heureux, je suis heureux, je suis heureux, je suis heureux, je suis heureux, je suis heureux, je suis heureux |
French | J'ai besoin d'aide J'ai besoin de quelqu'un pour écouter Quatre un trois huit six sept quatre huit |
English | BF Constantly Threatening Suicides I'm a little nervous about making this post because I don't really want to be found out, but this is beyond my understanding anymore The man I have dated for a long time is a widely intelligent attractive man In the beginning it was pure magic We spent a lot of time together we went out on dates etc. Then I moved to college and came back home It was toward the end of last year that this all began Out of nowhere he started threatening to hang himself because I was being negative While I've always known to take threats seriously I kinda let it slide because maybe I pissed him off and didn't realize it He blames me for being negative and a drama queen and this is causing him to want to kill himself I know this isn't the full story I know there must be something else going on At the end of the day I am not responsible for his suicide I am not legally bound to him in any way Problems got worse when one day he came over, and we were fighting about something stupid The fight rose to the point where he is screaming at me saying I am going to hurt you and me begging him not to touch me Eventually he grabbed me called me stupid among other things I cowered and threw my hands over my face attempting to shield myself thinking he was actually going to strike But he threw me aside I begged him to calm down and he wasn't being rational He finally agreed to relax but then started screaming again At this point he was thrown out for threatening me Fast forward Most days it is ok I don't hear from him much and try to give him space to work on his projects but these episodes of suicide can occur when I least expect it At times he told me he had a rope and made a noose out of it He tried it and caused harm to himself apparently I honestly believe that some of this is false The other day I fell asleep on him, and he told me he still had the noose in his closet if I don't stop being negative The problem with all of this is that it is starting to affect my level of sanity If I don't hear from him for like half a day I immediately start thinking he has hurt himself I know you'll day get rid of him I am just wondering if there is a real way to diagnose the problem I wish I knew what to do |
English | I love you please understand me have a boyfriend We've been together for almost months He is everything I've ever wanted in a person We fell in love the day we first met and he asked me to be his I am glad that we're together This is our story We met on tinder We both felt that we were meant to meet each other He started opening up to me about wanting to end his life before his the birthday And despite that he's still with us up to this day Both of us suffer from borderline personality disorder I personally didn't see the point in being in a relationship at that point in time but he changed my mind about love and about life He s been supporting me with all the love he could afford to give to me all this while I sometimes think that I am a burden for putting him and the people around me through all of this me taking up so much of their energy And I keep apologizing for always having too many emotions I want to push everyone away and be alone so that nobody has to deal with me, I take up too much space Lately I've been having suicidal thoughts I was going for therapy regularly a few months back but I paused that because of school And Ive been doing good with therapy until recently where I relapsed I feel bad for having the thoughts that are in my head I feel bad that despite having someone who loves me with their whole being I still can't seem to find comfort in being alive And I'm trying don't get me wrong I'm trying to find reasons to hold on I've been trying to be positive going on with my life like nothing is wrong but I feel like I'm just lying to everyone and especially myself I stopped telling my boyfriend about how I'm feeling And he's stopped asking I bet he assumes that I'm fine I stopped telling him because I don't want him to feel useless that he can't help me or lessen this pain He sees a future with the both of us He wants that so badly But I can't seem to fathom that possibility It's just too hard to imagine a life after years or so when all I want to do now is die I would feel bad if I ever took my life That would be like taking away all the possibilities of giving him a life he wants But a little part of me wishes that he would understand how much pain I'm in I know that there's no way he would just move on after I m gone I would crush his fucking soul and that d make me the evil person But having said that some days I just imagine myself going away without a single goodbye I've tried to kill myself once after telling him that I wanted to end my life After texting him I immediately tried to hang myself I didn't let him stop me but in the end he kind of stopped me by calling my dad And my brother had to break open the door in order to save me before It's too late Afterward I felt so, so bad for making him go through that experience of almost losing me but at the same time I secretly wished that I hadn't survived It would seem so selfish of me to end my life But there are voices in my head telling me that my boyfriend deserves better that it would be better for him if I was gone and then he doesn't need to deal with a burden of a girlfriend like me any more So trust me in my head it seems that it would be more of a selfless act than a selfish one I hate myself I know I have to be strong but I just want to go home I just feel like I'm not needed in this world And my existence feels so weird and unreal I want people to know how I feel I want them to forgive me for not wanting to be in their lives anymore |
English | Am bad at everything Study work socializing even gaming I suck at everything |
French | Je veux disparaître avoir un rendez-vous pour mon psychiatre mercredi, j'ai dit à mes parents que ma famille savait que la semaine dernière était bonne, mais maintenant tout semble si sombre que je ne sais pas quoi faire. |
English | I turned today living alone in a foreign country and losing interest in life with each passing day I turned today I don't feel happy If at all today I feel worse than how I felt this day last year I spent all of last night crying myself to sleep I'm a grad student in the US I m years in into my Master s program which normally takes years So I don't have any friends here all my friends have graduated and moved on I'm not in contact with any of them because I'm ashamed to admit to them that I'm still in school even though it's not completely my fault I don't speak much with the current students here because I don't feel like letting them know that I'm still at school for so long My relationship has hit rocky waters since the last two months She was the only one I used to speak with every day for the last two years since we started dating Now she never calls and I keep yearning for her to call If I call she doesn't answer and if she does doesn't seem that interested to talk All of this due happened due to a fight we had two months back where we didn't speak for a week At the end of that week she just texts me and says I m done I've been begging her to explain my side of things every day since then but she doesn't listen I know I'm supposed to focus on my thesis, so I can graduate this fall but because of this relationship stuff I can barely do anything all day except sit and think or sit and cry I live alone so every night when I go home I end up crying even if I don't want to For my birthday only my mom has wished me today My dad doesn't speak to me and my mom Ever since I was born he has never lived with us, He used to come visit me on my birthdays when I was young but that stopped many years back He's never wished me on my birthday ever since Forget that he never even calls me up All of this I can handle But what hurts the most is the relationship stuff I tried so hard to make her smile every day and now she doesn't even bother to wish me on my birthday I called her myself at midnight when she didn't wish me She said she had fallen asleep I called her an hour back now and she said I'm outside Will call you at night I'm so done I'm crying right now as I write this sitting in the library on campus I'm tired of this life Not sure if I have the strength to make it to a st birthday Or through the end of this year for that matter |
French | Je suis trop faible pour ressentir quoi que ce soit, je ressens un engourdissement aussi froid et sans vie que le vide, je ne sais même pas si quelque chose ou quelqu'un peut le changer à ce stade, je suis juste détaché de mes émotions et de la réalité. |
English | Im very tired I feel so shitty I'm exhausted I'm only I know I have my whole life ahead of me but I'm exhausted all the time I can't talk to anyone about how I feel bc I'm scared they will think I'm insane or annoying I plan on taking all of my medicine sometime this week not sure what the point of this is just wanted to get it off my chest since I can't talk to anyone else about it without getting it gets better talk |
French | DiginatasJe me rends compte que ma vie est aussi bonne qu'elle l'est Seulement les gens riches de l'élite comptent Je pense que je suis un gaspillage de ressources La vie est bonne J'ai raison Un professeur de renommée mondiale a dit que j'étais stupide |
French | null |
English | My one mistake that is going to cost me my ideal life About a year ago I drank and drove under the influence It wasn't even a very high reading a mediocre one of but I got caught I complied with the Police and authorities paid a fine of K and was told it's all good now I was happy Now year later when I got selected to my dream B School outside the country I find out I have a criminal offense on my background hence I can't get visa This also makes me ineligible for government jobs Feels like utter shit One stupid mistakes and all my efforts for fucking years going to waste Just one stupid mistake and it doesn't even matter how much I tried to make things work |
French | J'espère vraiment que certains de ces faux fans feront le travail, mais ils ne le font jamais, je ne sais pas si c'est parce que j'ai développé une tolérance ou ce que l'alcool n'aide pas, que je sois en panne ou non, je sais tous les matins que c'est un pari que j'aimerais juste perdre. |
French | Je me sens étrangement calme jusqu'à demain, je vais écrire mon testament et donner toutes mes affaires à mes cousins, je vais faire une balade à vélo et quand je rentre à la maison, jouer à tous mes jeux vidéo préférés, écouter ma musique, regarder mes faits saillants sportifs du moment où ma vie avait un sens et une fois que mes grands-parents vont dormir, je vais prendre beaucoup de pilules, peu importe celles qui sont disponibles. |
English | I would kill my self, but I don't want to ruin my boyfriends life My boyfriend is amazing he has so much promise he s at the start of his life and a new career and my depressed anxious ass is holding him back He loves me and wants to do everything to help me but I just can't I'm a loser I feel like every part of me is dying I m In debt I have no career goals I'm slowly starving myself and he's gorgeous getting jacked and just an amazing person I want to break up with him, so I can die alone without hurting him I could kill my self if he wasn't with me, I don't want him to suffer and ruin the rest of his life I know he will blame himself Fuck I don't know what to do I've tried to just make it look like an accident or maybe if I just disappeared I thought I could jump off a bridge Pills don't work apparently Pills don't work So like if I take two boxes of sleeping pills I won't die |
French | Je ne veux pas continuer à me fatiguer de cacher ma tristesse à tout le monde autour de moi et agir comme si tout allait bien pendant la journée, ce n'est pas que j'ai tant de regrets dans la vie et je continue à me battre jour après jour, mois après mois, je n'ai pas demandé à quiconque de naître dans ce putain de monde, pas ma mère, pas mon père, tout le monde, je veux me tuer, mais j'ai peur |
French | La pensée du suicide me semble être un havre de paix où je peux toujours me rencontrer, quelles que soient mes émotions. C'est comme un endroit sûr où je pourrais me replier si tout va à la merde. Je ne peux pas m'empêcher de penser à le traverser. |
English | Done sticking around for people who don't even care while I'm alive but will have a sob story once I m gone I'm so done with living my life never gets better My sister has bullied me my entire life into thinking I was ugly When we got older I gave her many chances to change her behavior but she's definitely on the narcissistic Spectrum She's ruined the entire family, but we no longer talk After that I met a man who used me for sex from the age of when I really thought he liked me for me, I gave him multiple chances because I wanted his validation I was so dumb to think someone would really love me My mom is so emotionally distant because of her own abuse and my real dad and stepdad are no longer in my life I want to love myself but running into the same type of people is exhausting I turned months ago and met a man who I thought had good intentions There were no red flags until I started realizing the whole relationship was revolving around sex again This time I expressed my emotions from the jump and told him a little about my past so he knew I wasn't playing games this time We had our ups and downs but nothing we couldn't fix until I messed things up by getting drunk and acting crazy I felt terrible bc I let my anger out on him when I should ve expressed it sober amp I've apologized countless times I know drinking isn't an excuse but I wasn't in my right mind, but I should ve never drank that night I forgive so many people but no one forgives me am I dumb for giving people more than chance No one sticks around in my life I've deleted all social media I couldn't care less seeing what people post I also lost my best friend a year ago from a heart condition she was the only one who kept me sane I feel like why did God take her instead of me she's way stronger than me, I'm tired of being miserable and pretending like things are going to get better they don't I couldn't care less about sticking around for my family who doesn't like me anyway bc of my sisters lies I pray to die everyday I need to guts to end my life before I turn |
French | Vengeance Suicide Honnêtement, je pense que je suis brisé en tant que personne, je me souviens quand j'étais peut-être ou je me réveillais et j'étais excité que tout le monde me réveille déjà et je pouvais aller voir une adolescente mutante, ninja, mon père et maman tu as divorcé, je pense que c'est là que tout cela a commencé. |
French | Toujours lutter contre la peur de l'avenir avec c'est OK parce que je vais me suicider dernièrement J'ai été tellement inquiet de savoir à quel point ma vie sera mauvaise et je n'ai pas un sou à mon nom et je ne peux pas obtenir un emploi parce que j'ai une anxiété très grave qui signifie que je peux à peine quitter la maison. |
English | Repurposed speech HATE This place This zoo This prison This reality whatever you want to call it I can't stand it any longer amp NBS It's the smell among other things I feel saturated by it, I can taste the absurdity And every time I do I fear I have somehow been driven mad by it is s repulsive isn't it amps NBS I must get out of here I must get free HTTPS youth be JrBdYmStZJ t m s and suicide is the key my key Once my body fails there will be no me to be here do you understand |
English | Almost did it came so close to hanging myself I've already tied the belt to the ceiling fan I was going to put head through the loop when my little sister knocked on the door She wanted to know if she can play the PS |
French | Mon amie est récemment venue me voir et m'a dit qu'elle envisageait de se suicider et honnêtement, je n'ai aucune idée de comment l'aider. Je pense que voir un professionnel serait une bonne option, mais je ne veux pas imposer ou dépasser. Je sais que je dois être sensible, et je veux juste dire les bonnes choses. |
French | Extrême anxiété sur le crime potentiel conseils nécessaires M ont été aux prises énormément avec le TOC en particulier récemment et mes pensées intrusives récentes me causent une anxiété énorme et la rumination s'il vous plaît Relativement récemment je pense que j'ai envoyé un message à plusieurs filles de NSFW Subreddits tels que devenus raisonnables ont fait l'anxiété Presque chaque fois qu'il n'y avait pas de réponse. |
French | Comment me distraire de ma solitude sur mon bday m va tourner en jours je ne veux pas vivre plus longtemps que cela et je pourrais le faire peu de temps après mon anniversaire est passé ou au moins être parti avant que je ne m'inscrirais pas à l'université je me sens encore pire que d'habitude sons ces derniers jours et je sais déjà que je vais faire TRS mauvais s'il vous plaît que j'ai envie de le faire ce jour-là |
English | Tonight s the night I finally can stop hurting I finally can end it Goodbye everyone I hope you all have better luck than me |
English | Suicide is the easy way out No it most definitely is not It is not always easy to pull the trigger or swallow the pills The cowardly thing to do is wait for death to come to you After life has ravaged your body and mental health The brave thing to do is admit you aren't meant for this world stand-up and punch death in the dick Screaming I go on my terms not yours I am that guy I don't fear death and I will go out on my terms I will not die in an old decrepit meat suit in some nursing home I'm going while I'm still sorta young I'll never be an old man in anyone s memories and that to me means something |
French | Je ne peux pas croire que j'ai fait que je n'ai pas l'énergie de taper tout ce qui me dérange après avoir écrit mentalement, je ne supprimerai pas les souvenirs irremplaçables de mon meilleur ami mort sur un tableau noir, je n'ai pas le temps pour cela, je dois être éveillé et au travail dans les heures et je suis déjà en train de courir sur les heures de sommeil, je ne suis pas vraiment triste. |
French | J'ai une famille aimante je n'ai pas d'argent non plus mais je me sens toujours vide et je veux mettre fin à ma misère mentale je suis gay et je n'ai pas dit à quelqu'un que je vis dans un pays où il n'y a pas d'exception et je crois et je suis une religion qui dit que les gens qui participent à des activités gays devraient être lapidés à mort dans un grand immeuble et qu'ils pourraient pourrir ça. |
French | Fleurs pour Algernon vient de lire ce livre Il s m'a fait me sentir en colère et triste j'ai pleuré plusieurs fois en lisant ce livre Je sens que je peux me rapporter au personnage principal après sa chirurgie alors qu'il commence à regarder tout le monde sous un mauvais jour Et ce n'est pas complètement irrationnel aussi Je ne sais pas C'est dur de vivre Je vais continuer à avancer mais j'ai pensé peut-être que si quelqu'un ici lit le livre |
French | Je vais faire Inca que quelqu'un me parle en ce moment je suis seul |
French | Mon ami coupe et dit qu'il va bientôt partir sait généralement quoi faire dans ces situations pour aider quelqu'un Mais dans son cas, je ne sais pas quoi faire Il a soudainement commencé à couper et m'a parlé de ses problèmes il y a quelques semaines, j'ai connu cette personne pendant des années et j'ai peur de le perdre |
English | I don't know what to DOI lost my dad two years ago suddenly I still cry about it most nights I feel like I can't carry on living without him, I'm an only child and ending my life would break my mum to lose her partner and her child I'm so torn upset scared confused I don't know what my options are I can't keep feeling like this |
French | Je cherche une femme très compatissante pour parler aussi Je suis une femme moi-même Mais j'ai besoin de quelqu'un pour parler à qui ne cherche pas quelqu'un pour aider J'avais l'habitude d'avoir une mère à qui parler quand j'étais très bas, elle est partie maintenant pas morte juste disparu J'ai juste besoin de quelqu'un pour prendre soin et agir maternelle J'ai besoin de me sentir aimé à nouveau |
English | I really feel like this is it Every time it seems like I postpone these thoughts and suicide altogether but the way everything has been going I'm not sure if I can go on any more Like I'm posting on this sub this is my last attempt at trying to live at all It's pathetic of me to ask strangers on the internet to give me reasons to live but that's where I m at I feel like people will only like or talk to me because they think if they don't then I m going to kill myself I don't want to live like that either that seems unfair to them |
English | Some things will never change m f I've always had slight depression, but after I gave birth to my last child years ago something changed in my head I've tried therapy medications self-help books reaching out to friends and family college work things I used to enjoy growing up focusing on my kids you name it I've tried it But it seems like it was all just things I was doing while feeling this way It never made me not feel this way And that is why I can't continue life this way I know I won't grow to old age because there is absolutely no way I can continue feeling like this for that many more years Just the last has been the biggest struggle of my life I don't know when it will happen but for now I hold on until I literally can't any more Maybe another year maybe another years I consider myself strong so likely the latter But it is inevitable |
English | I just want to be happy Why is the one thing I can see making me happy the one thing that will make others sad Nothing makes sense the world the people in it is s all just BS and that's never going to change But when IO tell people I want to die they re against it Why can't I just do it and be a rest finally |
French | Putain merde je ne voudrais pas mourir tout ce que je fais est terrible j'ai essayé d'écrire et ma putain de tentative était en quelque sorte pire que la première que j'essaie de dessiner maintenant et après un an et demi pourrait faire mieux je suis terrible à me faire des amis je remets même en question ma putain de sexualité de l'époque je ne peux pas supporter mon propre comportement toxique et peu importe combien j'ai essayé même un peu d'anxiété et de traumatisme |
English | They say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problems don't feel like these are temporary problems any more I have a problem with the nature of reality and that's not something that goes away |
French | Prison sans possibilité de libération conditionnelle ou de suicide Si c'étaient vos seules options, quel serait votre choix et pourquoi j'ai des raisons de croire que je risque la prison bientôt, j'ai fait beaucoup trop de choses terribles dans ma vie, je ne pense pas qu'il y ait de lumière au bout de ce tunnel. |
English | There's a Black hole in my heart and relapse Hello everyone I don't know where to start but I've lived through some pretty very serious and constant emotional trauma and neglect as a child up to my teenager years When I decided to leave the environment by that time there was nothing left of my soul it had been completely and utterly destroyed I'm now almost and I don't feel human anymore and I'm disconnected from my emotions but at the same time I love and appreciate life even if I can't feel the full range of emotions any more anyway I was and am completely alone and I've realized I must rely on my own strength and will power for me to survive I've always been trying to improve myself and be better everyday I work out eat healthy I'm a university student and I'm going to therapy and psychiatrist for years because I want to be better, but there is also a downside because I also used to use alcohol and other drugs to self-medicate during the worst periods of my life I've blacked out countless times and was an alcoholic for a while there is a part of me that wants self-destruct but I managed to kick it without any help from anyone or so I thought I've been sober from alcohol for months now but last night I blacked out when I was drinking with my friend I don't remember what happened, but he kicked me out of his house, or I was an idiot and decided to leave I don't know if I threatened him or if I was being an asshole or whatever, but I know it was bad I woke up today and I absolutely hate and disgusted with myself because no matter how much I try to better myself and live a good life there is something in my core that is just broken with the center being a black hole I almost always feel empty inside even though objectively I know there is meaning in my life and things have been going good for me lately but I just can't feel it I'm suffering from the trauma and abuse everyday one way or another and I m in a lot of pain and suffering in my mind especially when it comes to relationships with people and that's why when I black out I might hurt someone even though I don't want to hurt anybody I'm a pacifist Every day and night there is a never ending struggle for suicide for years I can't take this any more I want to live but not like this and I'm starting to believe death is the only solution because I just want to all of my suffering to end, and maybe I can finally find some peace I know for a fact if I had an to a gun I would pull the trigger without a second thought I don't want to hurt anyone else anymore with my actions and I know the people I have effected won't see this but I'm sorry for everything I've done and all the pain I've caused That person wasn't the real me I hope you can forgive me |
English | I m losing all hope it's not getting better quarantine has ruined my life i didn't have friends to begin with, but this period of quarantine is making it worse at the beginning I was dating someone who didn't give a fuck about me and only talked to me when he was horny or no one else was around I had friends but I only mattered to them when they needed something I cut everyone off making online friends has been a dead end people want to pity and infantilize me, and it makes me feel worse I can manage myself just fine i m just fucking lonely and i m tired of doing the same things over and over I don't have the energy to care about politics RN because i m too privileged for people in power to even pretend to care about my issues I feel guilty for even complaining because others have it much worse than I do so what right do I have to feel as hopeless as I do I even feel bad for saying i m tired of hearing about politics constantly I feel bad for admitting I don't have the energy for it, i m fucking drained i m so tired of it I keep forcing myself to be productive just so that I don't feel entirely worthless I sit in my room reading drawing studying writing for hours on end but when that's all over what meaning does it hold in the end i m losing my grip on things that i shouldn't be nothing is giving me hope anymore this situation will only get worse I keep fighting with myself to stay productive, but it means nothing i m sick of the same thing day in and day out this is giving me too much time alone with my mind and now i m in the worst mental space i ve been in for a long time I never thought i d be this close to rock bottom again |
French | Suicide bridge m sauter du pont de suicide Pasadena veille de Noël Il se sent bien de dire que je suis en train de laisser les enfants derrière et une ex-femme, je suis fatigué de me sentir inutile et seul, je suis fait, je voudrais pouvoir aller vite jusqu'à la veille de Noël, je déteste que je dois attendre Mais c'est l'une des dernières fois que je serai complètement seul |
English | Bye finally Unfortunately I no longer have faith in getting better or reconnecting with humanity Mental health steady declining years now Naturally capability amp social life declined too I'm uninteresting bitter and jaded now which is of course a great way to make friends so many despicable traits which seem impossible to reverse any more Everyone else has purpose belonging social life I just want to spare a small group temporary sadness I have not shit to offer And I most closely relate with the most miserable people I see mostly on internet forums since I have no life any more There's no place for ppl who stay this broken Fuck this crap |
English | It gets worse beyond death y o divorced male here With one beautiful son and he s god sent That being said he is a real problem as I cannot handle the thoughts of how he will have to go through with life when I discharge a shotgun in my face I've considered taking his life as well in order to spare him I am a completely and utterly hopeless romantic I married my ex-wife after threatening to abort our child we had an abortion a year before we had our son The divorce and custody trials are still not over have lasted over years and has put me in debt to my family trust for over I met an absolutely beautiful and exquisite individual over a dating app about two months ago She fills me with joy and is the most remarkable woman I have ever met She gave many different types of messages over the past few weeks which have all been predominantly reassuring This week my emotions boiled over a bit and I told her how much I want to be with her Our phone call last night concluded with her telling me in essence that my emotional overflow has created a small rift between us, and she is in need of the emotions to be removed from our equation I haven't slept all week as I've felt like I've been losing her due to the fact that I have baggage and am otherwise more invested in this than she is I've looked all my life for someone like her, I detest the concept of not putting all my eggs in one basket I've already hooked up with someone else since I met her to do precisely this and I thought about her the entire time it made me hate myself and want to purify and thus has caused me to overextend my affection and quite honestly appear to not have all my ducks in a line in addition to how emotionally distraught I was in our most recent conversation I have a year degree and apply for better jobs on a daily basis but to no avail I am living in a high income area and am no better off than I was a decade ago I have a huge issue with capitalism and coming from both a conservative and military family am routinely crucified verbally for my lack of personal motivation to seek and act in ways that will project my son and I forward I have suffered from extreme depression since adolescence took every antidepressant available in high school and self-medicated with marijuana for a decade I can't cope with my situation let alone another great romantic loss any more than I can cope with the fact that I've never felt capable of overcoming the gravity of my emotions As a single parent with full custody options for seeking help are all but plentiful especially with an ex spouse eager to reverse the custody situation who also happens to be in very dire straits financially Assuming I am compromised enough to even consider the destruction of my life and even that of my sons to spare him pain my only real issue is with God As a frequent lucid dreamer and someone unable to recover from the daily perils of life through an inability to sleep without working through significant karmic events I routinely deal with the aftermath of sins such as murder am imprisoned or am otherwise finding myself in a deep state of isolated suffering when I dream I am very much aware of the fact that there exists a life in the ether and the truth is that my life in the ether is worse than it is in reality I hate God for the situation that planet earth is currently in and has been in for thousands of years I hate that I cannot be at peace having lived a life where I've tried to be considerate of others and truly feel that there is no escape whether I commit suicide or not I've felt this way for decades and I've deteriorated to the point of complete anguish where I truly wish to destroy my life and the lives of others as I see the human struggle to be so fickle and grotesque my mind desires seeking the dark web to sign murder contracts and then as I let my thinking spiral I return to a state where I realize that I truly have no desire to hurt anyone but to completely erase all aspects of myself entirely No memories no essence no soul Total obliteration and liberation through the end of what has felt like truly a life of magnified suffering I don't know how to end this because again in my mind there is no end no matter what action I take but I'm so sick and unorganized that it has effected each and every person involved in my life |
English | I know I can't but I should am not a good person I have done horrible things I don't believe I deserve to live, and I don't see why I should be alive anymore I know I won't kill myself because I don't want to put my mom through that she's already had to bury one of her children but I have been feeling this way for so long I just don't ever see myself feeling good about myself I am a narcissist to some degree, but I still feel guilt for those I've wronged I know I have issues I don't want to do this anymore But I'm trying to stay afloat Don't know what to do really |
English | Not quite sure have never really contemplated this before But tonight seems especially dark and over whelming I don't want to be one of those people looking for empty superficial responses from then internet so I hope this is lost in the noise and isn't seen The only reasons I can see not to do it is my pets and husband They would be lost without me and the hurt they would suffer from abandonment My partner has lost two parents to this, and it would kill him if I did anything I have always been the bread winner but lately with Covid and In my line of work the business is not doing well My team are struggling but it's the design of what we do There is continuous pressure to be better deliver more improve nothing is good enough I know it's why we are here but there is only lip service recognition for anything we do I know we are not essential Will I have a job in a months time will they want me in a months time or am I being dramatic If it ended now it would be calm and peaceful If I went for a walk and something happened would it be better If I take a break will there be something to come back to I don't need a response I don't want a response No one must see this I have never thought this way before |
English | No friends exist inside my own head no one pays any attention to my presence I mean nothing to absolutely no one I struggle to establish connections due to depression and anxiety I feel as though i m too unattractive and weird to be acknowledged i d rather be dead than live the rest of my life alone |
French | Je ne peux pas penser à autre chose Tout ce à quoi je peux penser, je veux juste partir, je n'ai presque personne sans mes parents, je me serais déjà tué il y a des années, je ne peux pas |
French | Si je ne suis pas dans une classe pour mon prochain trimestre majeur, je me tue Oui, je sais à quel point je suis stupide, je sais à quel point ça sonne stupide, mais regardez la grande image, je suis un étudiant en informatique de deuxième année, je suis un étudiant en informatique. |
English | My life will end in suicide I feel like it's an inevitability My life so far has been a steady stream of getting rejected failing to make friends or really accomplish anything and my family not even caring how I feel I'm completely alone and nothing in this life makes me want to stay and I don't see that changing anytime soon So there's really no reason for me to keep living It's just a matter of when I finally snap |
French | Je n'en peux plus Mon ex-petite amie et moi avons fait une pause le mois dernier pour qu'elle puisse grandir plus en tant que personne et se concentrer sur elle, mais nous avons toujours parlé tous les jours comme nous l'avons normalement fait avant et puis il y a une semaine elle m'a dit qu'elle voulait toujours être avec moi, et nous devrions encore nous marier et avoir une vie ensemble et puis je me sens mieux quand je découvre qu'elle ne sortait pas |
English | Tried to So about weeks ago I tried to hang myself Cops ended up coming before I could finish and took me to the hospital I was begging and crying for them to not take me They actually hurt me pretty badly as I've got bruises all over my body STILL I never wanted to do it at home because I didn't want my mum to find me, so I felt terrible she had to come home to find the noose on the floor A lot of this had to do with bullying and a relationship that severely messed with my head But ever since this happened I haven't been the same I feel really weird and disconnected And I find it nearly impossible to cry It's like the sadness became so deep I can't feel Anything But I still act like everything is fine People ask what happened, and I just laugh and brush it off I even lied to a friend about it when he asked what happened I just don't want to be here anymore that's all I kept saying to the doctors to the police and my mum I just don't belong here |
French | Est-ce que vous pensez que les suicides sont punis J'ai lu beaucoup de choses sur l'au-delà sur Internet, même si je doute qu'il y en ait un que je remarque que beaucoup de gens religieux pensent que les suicides vont en enfer et même le méritent Je remarque même que les gens qui sont plus new age ou de type spirituel disent que vous obtenez une punition comme aller dans un royaume de l'enfer ou vous réincarner dans une autre vie misérable avec les mêmes problèmes. |
French | Je suis assis dans ma voiture sur le même pont et je me sens dans un endroit plus bas que jamais je suis maintenant maxed sur tous mes médicaments me sentir à part un et je me sens bien maintenant qui ont plus facile que je suis maintenant. |
French | Compte tenu de l'hospitalisation TW automutilation Suicide et manie m envisager l'hospitalisation et je suis très nerveux Mes médicaments ne sont pas aider, et je me sens tellement bla je suis obtenir mes médicaments ajustés jeudi prochain si je dois attendre pour voir comment ça se passe Je pense que je peux rester en sécurité jusqu'à ce que ma pire peur est de retomber dans mon automutilation et pensées suicidaires Mais je ne veux pas glisser dans l'info presque sûr que j'ai |
French | Vous savez ce qui est vraiment horrible Ce sentiment de vous déchirer où vous voulez vous tuer ou mourir par rapport à l'espoir de la vie pour continuer C'est une sorte de crépuscule d'être vivant pas le vivant mais pas un mort soit je ne veux pas autant me tuer que je veux arrêter, il arrive juste que le suicide est le moyen Chaque fois que je suis vivant, je le regrette et chaque fois que j'ai des moyens de me tuer, je le saute et puis le regretter |
English | I can't tell anyone the real reason I'm suicidal I was recently put in a psych ward for the suicidal because I was stupidly dropping major hints that I planned to kill my self in hopes that I could ask for help without destroying my pride When I was put in there my family blamed it on Prozac seeing as one of its side effects is suicidal thoughts I've talked to therapist after therapist and I told them all the same thing But I haven't told anyone why I really wanted to kill myself Not even my closest friends The real reason I wanted to die was because of a girl I know it sounds stupid but hear me out I had known this girl for years and have had a HUGE crush on her from the second I was introduced to her Many years went by she had moved back and forth a few times When she came back this time I confessed my feelings for her, She said the feelings were mutual but she wasn't ready for a relationship yet seeing as she had just gotten out of a bad relationship I made sure to let her know that I understood and planned to respect that About a month goes by, and she is very flirty with me Touching me writing me little notes making fun of each other sending me hearts etc. However just when I think I'm getting somewhere she gets back together with her ex They were all over each other Their social media s filled with posts about each other and going on and on about each other The works Now not only was I fucked sideways in this situation but she still keeps me just close enough so that these feelings can't go away And she still does all the flirty things she did when she was single She is the only girl I've ever had feelings this strong for I can't help but love her But after a month and a half of this It didn't sting as bad it just made me very depressed and sick I was starting to get over my suicidal feelings The psych ward really helped me realize a lot However all of those feelings rushed back after we hung out We grabbed a pizza watched a movie made each other laugh and went for a walk in the autumn leaves She looked absolutely amazing She made me happy The entire time I was with her, I didn't have a single worry Nothing else mattered It felt like I was in heaven It was then I realized how much I actually love her She told me she loved me but it felt so hollow as if it barely meant anything to her, I just felt so empty knowing how disposable I am We often talk and she says she considers me her best friend I obviously play along but she means far more to me than any friend ever has We talk almost every day we hang out at least once a week and she still acts as flirty as she used to but I know it'll never go anywhere It's sad to say but I put all my eggs in one basket and somebody stole it I know I sound really pathetic but that's why I lied to everyone I'm ashamed that she is the reason I wanted to end my life Don't get it wrong I have a life outside of her I have friends and family and hobbies and things to be proud of but it feels like none of that matters without her, I'm truly a piece of shit but I guess that's why I'm saying this to strangers on the internet |
English | Worst big combination Help Hi My big factor tests show the following scores O C E A very low percentile close to N very high percentile close to Does this mean I am doomed Have I lost the genetic lottery Is it worth to even live I do not see a way out Any help would be appreciated Thank you |
English | Can't stop thinking about emotional abuse I cry on the drive home every day and wonder what would happen if I just run my car off the road I can't get these thoughts out of my head that my ex-boyfriend is such a bad person I recently realized his actions were emotional abuse that I put up with I can't get anything out of my head Even when I'm having a great day any sudden lack of activity switches my mind to him, I want to email all of his friends and family a list of all the things he did to show them he's a bad person I don't know how to get him out of my head |
English | I want to kill myself as it will help the world m so tired of living I want to die so but I'm afraid of how my family will react But living means they will have to deal with me, I'm just scared of everything I think I have an inferiority complex or something |
English | I have enough money saved for about a year so about a year of life left I've just started a new job sadly it seems like the same kind of drudgery I've been doing for the past years I have been unemployed June to September for the first time in years and looking back at if it was the first period in a decade when I didn't think about ending it all every week Since I don't have any other skills to sell and even then I'm starting to resent having to sell of my time and I'll be turning next year also no relationship I just don't see a way out Might as well enjoy a year and then end it |
French | Je ne peux même pas me blesser correctement parce que j'ai trop peur et que je n'ai pas les outils, j'ai commencé à rire parce que ce que je suis censé faire au lieu de me mutiler, je suis toujours si inoffensif, je pense que je m'ennuie, même si je m'ennuie, je ne sais plus pourquoi je peux encore tuer, j'espère que j'ai déjà sucé beaucoup de bonnes volontés. |
English | I cut myself against s been a week I haven't hurt myself like this since middle school I'm now I think about committing suicide every day I wish my father never touched me I wish my family kicked him out I wish that the years of sexual assault was enough for my family to kick him out I wish they remembered what he did to me every time they ask me to buy him things for Father s Day or Christmas or his birthday I wish they realized that seeing him every day isn't good for me, I wish they never made fun of my depression I wish my mom never said I was an embarrassment when I came out at bisexual I wish my school didn't tell everyone about my attempted suicide I wish my track coach didn't tell me that I had nothing to be sad about because I'm only a kid I wish everyone fucking new that I was sexually assaulted by my father when I was and it didn't stop until I was only because I told my sister one night I wish everyone knew that he still lives with us, and it kills me everyday I wish everyone knew that my family constantly tears me down I wish everyone knew all the things my family said to me All the death threats I received all the bullying I wish everyone knew I dealt with anorexia from middle school until m senior year of high school I really fucking wish someone would look out for me, I wish someone cared I'm so alone and my life is a shitshow I'm so exhausted I'm so tired of trying to protect everyone from the truth or from sadness because I always end up hurt I wish I put myself first for once I want to die I wish I was dead |
French | Alors il y a un moment, j'avais l'intention de me débarrasser de moi-même, mais je me suis rendu compte au dernier moment que mon plan n'était pas particulièrement certain de réussir et pourrait potentiellement blesser d'autres personnes. Maintenant, j'ai un meilleur plan et une occasion parfaite de le mettre en action se présentera la semaine prochaine. Cela ressemblera à un accident et ma famille sera sauvée de la ruine. |
French | J'ai abandonné l'école à cause de l'héroïne et maintenant que je suis clean, je suis encore plus suicidaire et j'ai vraiment du mal à ne pas faire de fête pour moi-même, mais ma vie est vraiment de la merde, je me sens incroyablement déprimé en ce moment, je n'étais pas motivé pour faire quoi que ce soit Tout le monde me fait pression pour obtenir un emploi et aller aux réunions et je suis juste trop déprimé pour faire tout ce que je veux me tuer. |
English | I guess I'll vent Okay, so I m and before you say oh you're too young to be suicidal and depressed You haven't gone through anything Yes I fucking have I guess I started feeling sadder than usual when my biological father moved away in the beginning of my mother and him divorced when I was about I missed him but also hated him for leaving me and being abusive to my mother I also have had a lot of surgeries because I have a pacemaker It makes me feel a little bad when I can't do things such as riding a rollercoaster with my family But that's all fodder compared to what the big problems are I made a really, really bad decision and my family kinda hated me after that It made me start to feel like nobody loved me and I became suicidal I started self harming because it made me feel a little better and I thought everything would be okay, and I would eventually stop but I didn't So now my arms and hands are covered with healed and new scars which makes me feel even worse because I feel like I'm too ugly to be loved I feel like nobody cares about me like everyone just wants to be rid of me My best friend stopped talking to me for whatever reason I moved schools this year so we could only text each other And everyone at this school just treats me like a pile of trash because of the aforementioned really, really bad decision The only thing that makes me happy is my boyfriend yes I am only and shouldn't be dating in and he's the only person who makes me feel loved But now even that isn't keeping me from wanting to die I can't think about anything else but how to kill myself I feel like I have no purpose in this world and I should just die Like my family would be better off without me Like my life wouldn't be trash anymore because it would be over Like being dead would release me of all the pain I guess that's all Thanks for listening |
English | Is today my last birthday Well mins ago it was my birthday I m and not sure how I've made it this far This last year of my life has been the hardest I've endured and I'm afraid I have no strength left to keep going they say life is like a book and the years are chapters but I read ahead and saw nothing but more pain regret and sadness Not everyone gets a happy ending and it appears that includes me |
English | I think it's time I could turn this into words, but I think I'll put this in basic terms chronologically Mum turns out to have lung cancer from asbestos Mum dies months later Go into a relationship with friend of years Girlfriend breaks up with me because I'm selfish Ex doesn't want to be friends with me, I don't have many friends or people I can talk to Tried attempting suicide days ago but failed I miss my ex-girlfriend a lot, and she says she misses me too, but she can't trust me I deleted her number and her Facebook My friend is still friends with her, I told him how I felt, and he got into contact with her explained the situation My ex-girlfriend says Just let him get on with it, He's just being selfish and thinking about himself again I won't go into explicit methods of attempting, but I think it's frustrating that I can't do it I want to do it sure, but I physically can't People will be sad about me, but I miss my mum and I want somebody to love Somebody to hold me at night and tell me that everything will be okay |
English | Imsotiredim so tired of living like this when I'm on my meds im a husk a shell a fraction of what I used to be when I'm not the fucking voices come back living with schizophrenia is such a struggle every fucking day and I'm about to go into another active phase and I can already feel that tug to go off my meds' death would be so easy i don't enjoy anything anymore all I feel is pain and apathy I wish I had a reason to do it but I'm too pathetic even for that |
English | I'm scared if he dies I m going to kill myself So the main idea of this post is that I'm struggling to predict what my state of mind will be if my dad dies, so I have no idea how to prevent killing myself on impulse If anyone s got any advice or resources or anything that might help prepare me I'd appreciate it For context I'm live with my dad and the rest of my family is in different countries and I'm not super close with them No friends except my best friend who I only know online Always been super close with my dad and rely on him for mostly everything Backstory is below as I wrote it for my friend if you want to read it sorry the grammar isn't good So on Tuesday my dad s getting a surgery n if shit goes wrong I'm worried it's like going to put me over the edge He has cancer n this shit has happened before but I've always been suicidal so losing him could really put me over the edge so like I m trying to prepare myself Basically he had a surgery before that went fine, but they said the cancer had spread N I almost killed myself that night Only didn't because he was still alive n I Haida live for him That was years ago But yeah u can see why I'm worried if something goes wrong with this surgery n he actually dies I won't have the same reason to stay alive I got other reasons but I'm like worried what I might do just on impulse I'm scared AF all the will to live that I've managed to build up is going to fly out the window so fast man |
French | Quelqu'un menace de se suicider sur un livestream ne sait pas quoi faire HTTP minuscule chat com magicskyworm trouvé ici HTTP ch net b res HTML |
English | What to do when the time is unit s a rhetorical question Although I think it's really telling that on what I hope to be the last day of my life God give me strength to finish the job I have nothing to do barring the necessary preparations no Last Meal no final grandiose words to people I know I saved those for postmortem I'm not going to contemplate the beauty of nature for the last time or something like that Just nothing This nothingness on the last day justifies suicide on its own it looks to me So just going to waste the last few hours in the same way I wasted my whole life I suppose |
English | F This is the worst night of my life just broke up with my verbally and physically abusive boyfriend Although he did me wrong constantly He was my everything and I went to him for all of my pain and sorrow I did everything I could for him But after everything he admitted that he basically hates me He was never a true friend only there to secretly be happy about my problems and pain when I would vent and cry He considered and still considers my depression and thoughts to be all for attention, and he told me that I'm full of shit He told me a lot worse as well but it's breaking my heart to continue on about him All I really have now is my family dad mom brother I have major depression some anxiety and a lot of suicidal thoughts Tonight I decided to go for a ride with my mom to run an errand instead of being at home sad due to the breakup that I'm going through Bad decision My mom started shitting on me out of nowhere Claiming and telling me that I'm not seeing the fucked up choices that I'm making For the record i don't party drink smoke I don't have a kid and I've never been in jail I've been struggling hard with depression my whole life but more seriously the last years Due to the constant struggle to wake up get out of bed and find any motivation to live I've been job hopping and now school hopping I haven't ever taken a break from working since I graduated from high school in Despite having new jobs I always start right after I left the previous one I understand that this is terribly unhealthy, but my prior jobs were making me feel worse Now Ive finally found a job I like and don't see myself leaving it and my mom doesn't even realize that She just decided to shit on that too because the entry level where I'm at now isn't getting paid much and its only part-time But it's actually a job in a field I like, and I can move up the ladder Overall she is calling me lazy and going nowhere in life Then there's the school thing With the untreated depression and I also dealt with bullying from some students and my professor believe it or not it has caused problems Since it is a trade school there are no options to change classes or teachers And after thought of the whole situation I realized that that school really wasn't meant for me So I removed myself from the program I was in This whole time I haven't been able to tell my parents because I was afraid of their reaction and because I knew they wouldn't understand my depression Now It's impossible for me to tell them at all because my mom is already calling me a fuck-up for job hopping After listening to my mom shit on me for minutes straight I told her that I tried to kill myself at least times within the last months She was shocked and sad, but she told me that I was weak and needed to be strong She then told me that she wished I would stop feeling sorry for myself, and finally she told me that I was being lazy and to get those stupid thoughts out of my mind I was left speechless and numb I still haven't even told her about removing myself from my school I told her I was struggling hard with it, and she said well don't give that up too You have to stop quitting and being so weak Now I'm screwed Either way my mom won't understand If I stay quiet I appear lazy If I speak up like I just did I appear both weak and lazy I felt so broken I tried to talk to my ex for serious help because I needed a friend Even though he is my ex he was my best friend so I figured he'd still help me I felt so low I didn't know how to move forward with my life He's the only person I really had besides my family and I would do anything for him But he also doesn't have depression so he does not understand The entire time I was crying and trying to talk to him, he was still mad about a fight we got into days ago he was mad about relationship problems we had and not once could he just put it aside for a second to be there I just needed someone And not in a using way I just wanted HIM to be there for me because if the situations were flipped, and he was going through what I am I'd NEVER EVER want him to feel this alone I'd NEVER want him to feel like he has nobody Together or not I'd do whatever I could to help him feel better and safe There was a time when he had a panic attack out of nowhere when we weren't even together but he called me and I rushed over worried and crying, and I took him to the hospital It was packed, but I stayed with him waiting to see a Dr For TEN hours From pm am I was by his side and never left I held him and made him feel safe But of course he doesn't remember that He's not the person I thought he was the nightmare I didn't want to believe was true I told him this was the worst night of my life and that I don't think I can survive, and he told me I'm just trying to manipulate him to get back together to feel sorry for me or do this for attention I even told him I didn't want to get back together I just needed him as a friend because he told me that he would always be there for me and that he cared but I guess it was all a lie He made me feel like the worst person on the planet even though he has cheated played mind games abused bruised and gave me PTSD from the shit he has done to me, I was the bigger person and kept apologizing to him for it all tonight just to get him to be there for me but he still couldn't put down his pride all he said was goodbye Meh it seems like this post is on two different topics now The point is that I feel so alone now and god im so close to giving up Tldr The thought I have no one that frequently clouds my mind was true all along because my mom doesn't understand my depression and my ex-boyfriend best friend never cared and just left me for good without even ending it on good terms or being there for me as a friend when I'm suicidal right now I just need some motivating words or something because I'm so so so alone and sad |
English | I don't if I should go through with it What should I live for I've not been feeling okay for ages and I want to end my pain I've got a plan but I don't know if it's a good idea I'm planning to either go through with it tonight or Thursday evening Sorry for wasting time |
French | Ma vie n'est rien Adieu tout le monde Je ne veux pas tomber ou entendre quoi que ce soit Plus tout le monde Je sais au revoir Je suis désolé pour les gens qui m'ont connu Quand je pars en Février, je verrai mon père et tous mes amis dans l'au-delà |
French | Pourquoi le suicide est-il considéré comme si mauvais si une personne est si malheureuse, j'y pense au moins x par semaine Pourquoi est-il si évité dans la société en général Pourquoi cela devrait-il être important pour quelqu'un d'autre si je suis malheureux et ne veux pas continuer à être de cette façon Oui, j'aime ma famille et mes amis mais je n'aime pas la vie |
French | Coincé dans une relation sans amour seulement gardé autour parce que ce que je fais et donne à eux, c'est assez évident Coincé avec eux et leur famille semblant le mien m'a abandonné au hasard N'avoir nulle part où aller soit Leurs enfants sont si horribles Je ne veux pas de mon propre maintenant semblant que je traite avec eux à peu près à des heures par jour De prendre un congé de mon travail pour gérer tout le stress Je suis fatigué de tout cela et ne vois aucune lumière |
English | My girlfriend said she's going to do it please help don't know what I can do I'm freaking out Someone please help I m in another state She said if things don't go well today this is it She didn't explain anything What the hell cam I say |
English | I wish I could openly talk about my suicidal thoughts with my therapist But I would rather not be shipped off to a psych ward Even just talking about my invasive images of self harm my therapist got visibly uncomfortable You guys are the only ones that I can truly be honest with Thanks for being there |
English | I want to jump off an ocean cliff It s pretty much guaranteed death My body can't either take the hit from falling or I'll drown since I can't swim Life is straight up terrible Not just for me but others to The only ones who think life is beautiful are the ones that got everything set and flowing nicely |
English | How can I do it I didn't realize until three years ago that I've been depressed my entire life I grew up with a lot of abuse from my parents while growing up in the Netherlands Doctors and schools didn't do anything while I had numerous visits of bruises and broken bones I was also always a misfit and tried my best to fit in Despite all of it I've dealt with some bullying in my teens that I still carry a grudge from it until today I obsessively despise these people that have hurt me and scarred me so much Now fast-forward in my thirties I just can't seem to find one thing that brings me real joy but my dogs I have no joy in my work despite making ok money It's ironic knowing I've been working since and have even taken on a factory job at a chicken manufacture I should be grateful how far I've come, but I still despise every little thing about me and I'm just so angry and sad about every little thing I have a ten-year relationship with my boyfriend whom I've financially supported out of ten years so he can achieve his dreams Societal and cultural pressure of getting married having kids and buying a home have just taken the best of me that I started resenting him I've vocalized the past five years what I want in our relationship, and he basically says I'm impatient, and I have a nasty personality for wanting to get married Last weekend was my best friends wedding, and I was just so heartbroken to explain to numerous people that we have not made any single progress to building a family together My life and everything about it makes me feel so invaluable I hate myself and I can't deal with the pressure of sadness on my chest any more I just want to go but don't know how I just want to sleep and never wake up No one is going to care Heck I've been crying for months after every work shift for hours until I fall asleep and my significant other doesn't bother to ask or question if I'm ok It's funny because I put my boyfriend as a beneficiary of my assets if I were to pass away I should make some changes before leaving If I could just get up and leave Thank you if you made it till the end I'm a coward and will probably still torture myself with this miserable life |
French | Je veux juste mourir ont constamment mis hors suicide dans l'espoir que les choses vont aller mieux, mais il semble juste que tout soit si désespéré Ma vie est la douleur et c'est toute ma faute Je ne peux pas trouver la motivation pour faire quoi que ce soit Mes notes sont en train de glisser mon physique est une blague et je suis juste une personne horrible J'ai été inutile dans ce monde et je suis un perdant si démotivé que je ne serai rien dans ce monde |
French | J'ai échoué tentative toujours pas sûr si c'était le mauvais choix que j'ai essayé d'OD mais mon corps n'était pas l'avoir je suppose que je suis désolée je suis désolée je suis désolée je suis désolée je suis désolée je suis désolée je suis désolée je suis désolée je suis désolée je suis désolée je suis désolée je suis désolée je suis désolée je suis désolée je suis désolée je suis désolée |
English | I might be doing it I lost everyone and everything I've been wanting to get home so I could spend my time sharpening the knife ill use to slit my own throat while saying goodbye to the ones I've hurt and will hurt with this selfish action |
French | Hopeless Chaque fois que je parle à cette personne de mes sentiments, elle dit toujours bien que vous devez juste aller mieux ou juste arrêter de vous sentir mal. a me fait mal entendre ces déclarations évidentes. Bien sûr, je dois aller mieux et arrêter de me sentir mal. |
French | J'ai entendu quelqu'un dans ma classe plaisanter sur le suicide a m'a fait mal d'écouter que je voulais l'appeler, mais je n'ai pas eu la bravoure Peut-être que j'aurais dû rire avec elle Ma vie est à peu près une blague Irk pourquoi je fais ce post probablement juste pour l'attention comme toujours Je suis désolé |
French | C'est ma dernière semaine, j'ai pensé à ça à travers beaucoup de choses, je ne vais pas mieux, vous trouvez juste des moyens de vous distraire ou de m'y habituer. Après d'innombrables tentatives pour essayer de traiter ma dépression, j'ai fini par abandonner. J'ai essayé de lire. |
French | GF m'a largué il y a une heure Le titre dit tout Depuis le moment de l'affichage cela fait une heure que ma petite amie a rompu avec moi, je ne sais pas ce que je suis censé faire maintenant Je l'aimais mais apparemment elle n'a pas eu de sentiments pour moi depuis des mois Maintenant que l'université a recommencé, elle était fatiguée de faire semblant de m'aimer Je ne sais pas pourquoi j'étais si stupide |
English | Suspension hanging already tried the gas route and it didn't work I really wanted to use this method bc you just go to sleep My next choice would be suspension hanging I've bought the rope and I cut the toe end of a sock off and put the rope through it, so the sock will be where my throat is and tied a slip knot for the noose I've read that a rope can dig into your skin while hanging and that some people pad the rope hence the sock But it seems like it might pad too much and the rope won't be able to constrict as well |
French | Je ne sais pas comment captiver avait des problèmes de santé mentale depuis que je suis maintenant et l'amour de ma vie avec qui j'ai partagé des années ne veut plus être dans une relation et déménage le samedi, je suis chez mes parents depuis des semaines et je passe chaque moment éveillé au lit me demandant pourquoi je devrais aller sur toute cette douleur et la peur que je veux juste qu'il se termine. |
English | My sister told me that this is her last week and I don't know what to do Hi I'm new to this, and I am seeking help for my little sister who is going through a really rough time and I'm starting to think she may want to end it For a long time now my sister who is still in high school has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety about a month ago It was clear for a lot longer time that something was wrong but now we just have a name put to it Her depression wasn't as bad as it was about a couple of months ago but it is quickly escalating There is no particular source I believe in her depression and she is really close to me so if there were something she would tell me She tells me a lot that her life at home is a bit rough but from what I've seen the conditions aren't terrible her father is just sometimes rude Recently she had been talking of suicide She told me that she has found easy methods of killing herself and that this might be her last week I always tell her things like We all need you and love you or The world would be so different without you and Without you, I'd be nothing but I can never convince her I have never been so scared I am worried about her safety and would do anything for her to get better I don't know how to talk to or how delicate I should be to people who have depression Is there something I can do as an individual to help her Some extra info she has been using Prozac for a little under a month she says it helps, but clearly she is still having active thoughts of suicide so I'm not so sure She has an appointment with a therapist in March I believe but I don't know how much time she has left Any help will do I just want my sister to be OK |
Subsets and Splits