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French | Je comprends parfaitement que moi, en tant que perdant virginal de faible valeur, je serai oublié Footnote Ce monde entier est construit sur l'ignorance de la souffrance masculine, en particulier de ceux qui ne sont pas aimés sous toutes les formes d'amour. |
French | Je ne veux pas être ici vient de commencer ma première année de collège et je vais échouer de deux classes et je n'ai aucune idée de ce qu'il faut faire, j'ai essayé de parler à mes parents et tout ce qu'ils ont dit, c'est qu'ils ne voulaient pas que je rentre à la maison et que je ferais mieux de ne pas gaspiller leur argent. |
French | Je pense que je le fais dans les prochaines heures ont des problèmes aller à l'école depuis des années maintenant, et il a empiré chaque année, j'ai terminé mon dernier mois d'école et je suis maintenant dans un nouveau qui a commencé il y a des semaines, je ne peux pas le faire, je veux être en mesure de mal maintenant, mais je ne peux pas me faire aller Même si je sais que je ne suis pas difficile de rester là pendant des heures. |
French | On m'a dit de venir ici Le suicide est la seule façon d'aller de l'avant pour moi, je ne peux pas m'aider thérapie ne peut pas m'aider et rien d'autre ne peut m'aider La perspective sur ma vie n'est pas assez bonne pour être meilleur que mourir et puis être mort ne sont pas un état d'urgence. |
French | Désolé si j'ai des fautes d'orthographe L'anglais n'est pas ma première langue J'ai pensé à la raison pour laquelle je ne devrais pas poster ici en premier lieu si je voulais aller silencieusement, mais je sais finalement que je ne veux pas mourir Je veux que je sois épuisée Je veux que je sois désolée Je ne peux pas être mesurée Je ne sais pas comment je suis restée là Je ne sais pas ce que je suis désolée Je ne sais pas |
English | Just get help I'm so fucking sick of being told to just get help every time I express difficulties coping with mental illness As if getting help is an instant permanent solution to all the difficulties of being alive when you don't want to be I am now I've been in treatment consistently since I was suicidal at age I've been in psychiatric hospitals and I've been in outpatient programs that were full-time and limited my ability to work or go to school for years in the past I've been to good therapists and I've been to therapists so abusive that they fucked me up even more by saying it s all my fault and I deserve to suffer until I die In spite of this I still go to therapy trying to undo the damage that therapy did to me in the first place I've been on dozens of different antidepressants and antipsychotics for over a decade I have consistently reached out to doctors family friends and anyone I trusted for help Most of the latter have abandoned me Most of them just make me feel worse I have never stopped trying and yet I am still fucking suicidal Every time I hear just get help or just see a therapist I want to punch someone in the face You really think I haven't fucking tried You really think it's that easy You think I'm so stupid that I never even considered doing anything to help myself Every time someone tells me to just get help to stop being mentally ill it makes me want to give up just a tiny bit more All it does is prove to me that I'm a complete failure of a human being because even getting help doesn't work |
English | Anyone know how many sleeping pills can OD I just took |
French | Je veux vraiment que le mari quotidien pense que je suis suicidaire pour être manipulateur ou quelque chose qu'il se fâche contre moi quand je suis déprimé par des choses merdiques qui se produisent et dit ensuite que j'essaie de le manipuler en étant suicidaire. |
English | Should I write goodbye letters my best friend recently told me if I killed myself and left a letter for her, she wouldn't read it I know when I kill myself I forfeit the right to care how everyone will react but if she won't read it is it just a waste of energy i ve always planned to write letters for the people I care about, but after she said that i m thinking it may not be worth it |
French | Puis-je s'il vous plaît avoir des mots réconfortants Tout fait mal mentalement Je veux juste que quelqu'un s'en soucie sans avoir à s'inquiéter de les déranger personnellement |
English | I wish there was an off button All the methods to commit suicide are so taxing to read through The combination of lethality and pain and just the preparation itself fuck I want to go |
French | La deuxième fois que j'ai sérieusement envisagé de me suicider et j'ai peur de ne pas savoir où aller, je n'ai pas vraiment de mal à m'ouvrir, je n'ai jamais vraiment été sérieux au sujet du suicide dans ma vie jusqu'à il y a quelques jours, quand j'y ai pensé pour la première fois, ça a été terrible ces derniers temps et ça ne disparaîtra pas parce que je ne me laisserai plus oublier des choses. |
English | To anyone who ll listen I wish you the best on this journey and the next A blessing of kindness to share I had dreams Dreams of being an architect one that incorporated nature and grew with it as to save Nature and let her blossom with us instead of cutting her down and paving over it all destroying her very being Dreams of being a writer creating whole new worlds ideas people whether through fantasy book movie or otherwise I had dreams of traveling the world and spreading love to all I also had lucid dreams Dreams that you could control and have the ability to do whatever you wanted For years I sought after these dreams and learned many techniques as I grew up It sounded amazing Do whatever you like The freedom The only problem Waking up fucking sucks Waking up from them Not noticing anything wrong at first But the world would feel different From over time you'd wake up feeling off Like something wasn't right Followed by a chaos ensuing your mind Darkness would descend upon the spark within you This storm would grow and warp turning from anger to sadness to hatred and confusion and then to bitterness and fury The spark remained lit but wavered from time to time and slowly started fading The last few weeks of my life I sat in the final stage of numbness and understanding Within these weeks I realized I couldn't wake up from these dreams anymore To be ripped back into a reality that I control less and less each day The dreams used to help now no more The spark was the smallest it ever was but was still going fighting trying to grow There were things left fighting for There were people and places But the moment that the cloud overwhelmed the spark and finally blew it away was when I realized I'm tired of my body hurting so damn bad every time I look at it because even as it blossoms I still mostly see my flaws and can see nothing but lies my brain tells me Dysphoria s a bitch Tired of questioning everything Tired of the world being such an unkind place to live Tired of not being able to fix all the suffering in the world Wiping away the pain of others No more I'm one with the trees Keeper of the keys Where you see as loss Is where I dance and sleep long the moss Come away with me Even for a minute see What the world could truly be |
English | I get closer to Suicide every day More and more over the past few months I have been contemplating suicide I've been depressed for a long time but haven't truly considered doing the deed until this last year Now it finds its way into my thoughts daily In my eyes life is meaningless I wake up I eat I go to school I go to work I come home eat then sleep This same cycle happens every day and I can't find any logical reason to keep going with it All of my hobbies that I once enjoyed do nothing for me any more I don't get any enjoyment out of my life and I can't say I've actually felt truly happy for years People always say that it will get better but this isn't the kind of issue that gets better I feel like this is just what the rest of life will be like doing nothing but working for money to buy survival needs and meaningless materialistic shit That isn't an issue that solves itself it's just how life is and for some reason people are really intent on accepting that fact I'm not quite to the end but I can see it from here The only reason I haven't yet is because of my family because I don't want to hurt them But i m getting there Suggestions on what to do are welcome |
French | Pas de clickbait Certains jours, j'aimerais pouvoir arrêter. C'est devenu plus que moins. C'est là que je suis en train d'essayer de travailler aussi dur que possible avec le travail pour lequel je suis signé, mais je n'avance toujours pas. C'est délirant. |
English | Nspl chat doesn't work going to kill myself tonight I feel like it isn't the right thing but I wanted to make sure the chat on national suicide prevention never loads I think its closed I just wanted to say this here no one likes me no one cares I will KMS thanks |
English | Weeks postpartum with second child currently weeks postpartum breastfeeding is quite demanding as it was with my first I feel like it's the very same difficult journey as before my husband supports me but he just doesn't understand how miserable I am right now He just doesn't understand me I discussed with him when he goes back to work on the the I want to switch our newborn to formula but the very idea just disappointed him He only feeds her during the night which I appreciate but that's it is s just me every other hour and I'm just exhausted I'm already thinking of ending my life and he doesn't know And the times before I told him when having our firstborn he didn't get it I love our newborn daughter and I don't think I'll go to that extent I just want to cope I even told my OB weeks before giving birth that I know I will experience postpartum depression so she did start me on Zoloft which I started weeks ago I don't know how I can make my husband understand that I think breastfeeding is causing me to be more depressed |
English | Struggling to push these thoughts away My last attempt was around years ago I've handled the daily suicidal thoughts pretty well since then I usually have the resilience to push them away as nonsense I have Asperger s and don't make friends easily and the ones I did have I ended up pushing away and removing days ago Most of them weren't even guilty, but I had to remove the entire group due to negativity Since then I'm back to self harming and I just don't have the strength to cope with these thoughts I think I'm safe Usually when I'm about to make an attempt I get this serene almost bliss like feeling wash over me as if I've just found the answer and I haven't had that yet That's usually when things go bad I don't even know why I'm typing this out I think I just need to tell someone or know that someone has read it or something I don't know I tried to fill the void with my wife and kids but it isn't working It just makes me feel worse because those things are supposed to matter right Like it makes me an even shittier person because they don't On second thought maybe I'm not as safe as I thought I've already started rationalizing Going to get off the computer, so I am not on my own I think that's the way for me to stay safe right now |
English | Just got asked by dad why are you even alive Just want to end it all |
French | null |
English | I don't mean to sound like a Doomed, but everything is fucked can't get a girl I can't get laid I am short The red pill destroyed my life I have anger issues I have other mental health problems like anxiety and depression I lost the love of my life I am unemployed I got fired from my gamecock job I lost my friends to a cult I joined I have no friends I am a virgin I am unpopular People think I'm ugly People look down on me Self esteem sucks Confidence is low PTSD from bullying and childhood traumas Medications that only fuck me over Living in a rat race environment I'm ugly had acne but it isn't a prob looking back Alpha makes telling me everything will be ok when I know the truth No one knows me I am nobody I can't get a job because I'm ugly and people think I'm weird due to my kindness Jobs flake me all the time Mother hates me Father thinks I'm lazy Dream girl turned out to be a nightmare rejection OCD Did I mention that Neurosis with electricity and driving Porn has ruined my life No achievements just fantasies Life seems meaningless and hopeless Help |
English | I don't know how I screwed my life up this bad Every year for the past decade I've told myself that I will fix this and that and things will get better Every year over the past decade nothing gets better It's just get worse I'll reflect on what I've lost and try to figure out a better way of doing things, and somehow I end up with less than I did before Things are so bad I can't afford to go see my Dad s grave, and I can't fix my Mom s gravestone where it was vandalized Even if I could afford to fix her gravestone I couldn't get there I told myself last year I would have a better job A job where I could afford health insurance and get all my health problems fixed I also told myself the year before that I can't make it work I don't have two social skills to work a better job Half the job interviews I get I can't get a ride there There's no future for me My own mental inadequacies have put the nail in the coffin Luckily I have no family left There's no one that loves me and no one I have any profound effect on This morning I was told repeatedly that I'm easily replaceable Before I become a drain on society and start causing people more problems than I already do I think I'm going to kill myself I've lost interest in being around others anyway Possessions mean nothing to me and I'm bored with reading I don't have the mental toolkit to build a better future for myself I look forward to my thought process ending I look forward to being in the state I was in before I was born |
French | Je ne suis pas impulsif ni désespéré Verser mon art Salut je pensais à laisser ce monde méchant pendant un an Je suis venu à moi il y a huit ans Je ne vais pas dans les détails J'ai essayé pendant huit ans Je ne vais pas à la maison Je ne vais pas à la maison Je ne vais pas à la maison Je ne vais pas à la maison Je ne vais pas à la maison Je ne vais pas à la maison Je ne vais pas à la maison |
English | Please can someone help me m too sad to fall asleep I can't stop thinking about how much I hate myself and how I've ruined the last thing that made me happy I want to kill myself I can't live through this pain I at least just want to fall asleep for now, but I can't |
French | Je suis à l'aise avec la mort si je suis le seul à ressentir cela, mais j'ai réalisé que je n'avais pas peur de la mort, mais plutôt ce qui arriverait à ceux qui m'entourent après ma mort, c'est bizarre parce que j'avais une intuition dès mon plus jeune âge que je ne passerais pas, mais comme je vieillis, cette déclaration est devenue plus vraie. |
French | Lettre de suicide Ce ne va pas être facile, et franchement, je n'ai aucune idée par où commencer Ma vie n'a pas été si mauvaise Pas vraiment Comparé à la misère des autres Je suis une putain de promenade mais ça ne vaut pas la peine de vivre Je ne peux plus le faire Je ne peux pas vraiment m'ennuyer |
French | Ma meilleure amie est suicidaire Je ne sais pas quoi lui doser a été suicidaire presque toute sa vie, et maintenant elle a l'impression qu'elle vient de faire et ne peut plus le faire, et elle veut se tuer le mois prochain Les gars s'il vous plaît aidez-moi à l'aider elle est tout pour moi |
English | How I wish I could go through with a suicide am I hoping in the future that I will be able to kill myself but I'm just so afraid of what happens when you die Growing up with freckles and still having freckles is one of the worst things ever they make me so ugly, and I can't get rid of them unless I get laser surgery, but I don't have the money for that, so I think the better alternative is to get rid of me |
French | Je viens d'écrire un énorme paragraphe, mais j'ai accidentellement cliqué en arrière et maintenant il est parti m pas réécrire toute cette merde je vais épargner les détails j'ai juste besoin de quelqu'un pour me convaincre de ne pas me tuer malgré le fait d'avoir zéro raison d'être en vie La seule raison pour laquelle je ne l'ai pas encore fait est à cause de la grande chance qu'il échouerait et je serais laissé définitivement mort cérébrale ou quelque chose. |
French | Je ne veux plus être ici, je ne sais même pas pourquoi je poste, je vais honnêtement probablement supprimer cela, mais je le perds, je ne peux plus fonctionner, je n'ai plus personne dans ma vie, je ne peux plus le supporter, et je me sens tellement pris au piège, j'ai été dans et hors de l'hôpital au moins des fois depuis le lendemain de mon anniversaire. |
English | Still not safe from myself I posted last week about being dumped by my verbally abusive fiancé I made it through the weekend but I'm not getting better I still want to die I'm afraid to talk to real life friends and family because I don't want to be looked down on I'm trying to look strong through this but in reality I've given up on life I miss him so much that it hurts I've lost everything this weekend I'm moving out and living alone in a small apartment I loved my home with him and I hate leaving I don't even have furniture, so the place will be empty I'm afraid to be alone there afraid of what I might do My will to live is completely gone When I sleep I dream of ways to kill myself when I wake up I dread facing another pointless day The only reason I'm alive is that I don't want to hurt my family but I resent them for holding me back Help me Reddit I'm really scared |
English | I am going to kill myself for real Well my plan should pretty much work out I guess |
French | Je suis assis sur mon lit avec deux couteaux tranchants essayant de me trancher la gorge ou me poignarder dans le cœur s'il vous plaît aidez-moi à trouver le courage de le faire |
English | Should I write a note so I have finally committed to doing it tonight but IDK if I should write a note probably will but how long should it even be I have no idea what it normally is should I be detailed or not |
French | null |
English | Fed UPMC the worst nightmare came true days ago I was about to go through with killing myself I was sitting on my bed with a belt around my neck, but something convinced me not to do it I think it was fear I really want to get over this depression because I see no point living I used to have dreams I wanted to fulfill now I just waste away in my house doing nothing |
French | Mes pensées Spiral Ce dernier tomber dans l'auto-pité a été une longue semaine, il a été composé d'abord un souci à propos d'un ami malade je ne peux pas m'accrocher à ce ami je veux dire tellement pour moi et la pensée qu'ils sont malades ou blessé sans moi même un peu est terrible. |
English | I don't even know why I'm posting here I found this sub yesterday And I started reading And I started crying And haven't stopped I turned about weeks ago I never thought I'd live to see this day I tried to kill myself for the first time when I was I never tried it again I sought help Got therapy Was diagnosed with schizophrenia Became a well-rounded and balanced individual I can control my schizophrenia so well I only need the drugs on a bad day Spring break was last week I spent of it curled up in the fetal position on my bed I didn't move I didn't sleep I didn't eat I didn't speak I've realized that no matter how happy I seem on the outside I'm just a hollow empty shell There's nothing to me any more I don't care about life I don't care about anything I remembered what it was like to want to die So I started listing reasons I hate myself I always have I find myself annoying obnoxious and insufferable How I have friends and willing friends I will never understand I'm too loud Too boyish Too dumb I drive people away because I complain About everything I'm awkward I suck at living I'm incredibly irresponsible I can't even keep my school work straight I can't keep my life organized I'm so afraid to move out of my parents house and be on my own I don't even know that I can function as a member of society I can barely keep my minimum wage job I can't even keep myself on track to lose weight for my health It makes me find myself so completely awful and unattractive that I can't even look at myself I hate that I don't even have any guts See there's this guy I've been friends with for a while now Before this downward spiral I've hit he made me feel things I'd never felt for anyway I fell in love with him in a very real way But I don't have the guts to even tell him that I'm romantically attracted to him let alone how deep my feelings have gotten Even if I did there would be no point Who could love someone so pathetic Who could find someone that looks like me even remotely attractive Either way I'm fairly certain I've driven him away too And then there s all the financial problems with student loans And my parents relationship No matter what I do I'm always the cause of their fights I'm fairly certain that everyone s lives would improve without me, I just don't know anymore What's the point on pushing through this I've had these feelings for years and nothing has EVER gotten better even with my therapist anti depressants even attempting this before Maybe I should have died a long time ago Maybe I shouldn't have even been born That's not to say I won't be missed Of course I would, I know I would devastate so many people if I took myself away from them That's the only thing that's stopping me and I'm so close to it not even mattering any more I would be at peace Isn't that what would matter It's incredibly selfish I know But why am I still forcing myself through a life I'm not even living anymore |
English | My poetry book will be my suicide noted book of poetry that expresses myself will be better than a flimsy note |
English | This is my last PostGoodbye internet Y all were amazing |
English | Don't even know m considering committing suicide I just don't have the will to continue living simply put I've managed to overlook the fact that it can be considered a selfish act after about a year of internal debate All I want to receive from this post is advice I don't have access to any guns I can't hang myself from anywhere and I've been told numerous times from multiple people that pills don't work a lot of the time The other options I have are jumping from somewhere around my house directly onto my neck head electrocution in the bath somehow sounds like the success rate is lowish or just simply choking myself out with a belt on the floor Are there any other ways I could consider before trying anything I don't need to be convinced to not do anything to myself I've made the decision already |
French | Est-ce que quelqu'un suicidaire juste pour être laid a un petit menton en retrait Je crois que mon anxiété sociale vient de mon apparence Je ne peux tout simplement pas vivre comme ça |
French | Est-ce que ma présence fait une différence Est-ce que mon absence est remarquée Est-ce qu'on a toujours le sentiment qu'il y a quelque chose qui ne va pas quand les choses commencent à aller bien Je pensais que j'avais surmonté toutes mes luttes passées mais ils ne semblent jamais loin derrière moi Le collège allait bien Tout le monde m'a aimé a eu de bonnes notes J'ai toujours aimé le collège |
English | I feel like I am going through a crisis related to mortality which is leading me to insanity I am currently an accounting student expected to get my bachelor degree next year It's going to take me years longer than what it's supposed to and this is the first contributing factor to the way I feel During the last three and a half years of university I have achieved many things I am proud of I became manager of a large student association I founded my own non-profit company with some friends although we cannot make any profits so it's not a real job and I managed to bank five years of job experience working as an accountant in my family business This sounds great and it is However I am slowly losing my mind My family is a wreck My mother suffers from borderline personality disorder and has narcissistic tendencies she attempted suicide by sleeping pills overdose a few years back and pointed a pair of scissors to my neck when I was I have been to therapy just to elaborate this memory which haunts me to this day I cannot keep living in this house My mother is getting more insane as times goes on A few months back I lost my job That completely devastated me as it was my only source of income We are poor and it's not like my dad gives me money Then problems in the association started to arise People leaving badmouthing others and a bunch of other stuff I couldn't pass any exam I am far behind my schedule for graduation and last week after the last crisis in the association I broke down I got a nervous fever as the doctor called it my temperature spiked up to and I was hospitalized for the night My body and mind have suffered too much stress it nearly killed myself I have two problems The association I can't continue to be president As soon as my phone rings I assume things have good wrong and there is a problem I have to fix I literally shake when I get a notification I also cannot leave though because I was elected and leaving would cause the group to fall My age I would be if I decide to continue and get my master s degree That's way too much time to spend at home with my mother I feel old and trapped I just can't see any way out |
English | How to help someone Suicidal First thing is to admit to yourself if you genuinely want to help the person or not Think hard about if you actually care enough to offer REAL help YOURSELF If you decide you don't then most likely you will end up telling them to call the suicide hotline or to talk to a doctor This is a way to divert any responsibility on your part in any way This is understandable not all people want to or are able to help someone in need However the people at the end of the suicide hotline are fairly useless to someone who is chronically depressed We folks have been through the ringer and the failure that is the mental health industry But those who are just in a temporary ditch might find benefit through proper treatment If you actually want to help the person ask them why they are suicidal and how they feel Some people are just going through a rough time and maybe need some extra support Most people are suicidal because they feel hopeless unloved or are in too much pain If you find they are suicidal for deeper reasons or have been miserable for a long time then you a different approach will need to be taken Ultimately I believe a person has the right to choose if they live or die The last thing you should tell a suicidal person is to not kill themselves That is not your right and it invalidates the person s experience of suffering and pain It also is pretty useless Also telling someone to stay alive for their family and loved ones is also not your right Adding extra stress and worry to a suicidal person will not help them feel any better The best thing you can do is ask how you can help and if that person says nothing then you can just listen to them, You can express that you care and try to empathize with their feelings To tell them to or not to kill themselves is not your place Forcing someone to live when they want to die is a violation of that person s very being and human rights You might find though than once their suffering is validated and suicide becomes an acceptable way out they might decide to stay alive Knowing you have an out helps erase the idea that you are trapped Feeling trapped is one of the biggest reasons why people commit suicide This is a sort of paradox |
French | Tentative ratée m tellement pathétique que j'ai même échoué à cela, j'ai fait deux coupes superficielles sur mon bras à peine attiré le sang, j'étais trop poulet pour trancher dans la veine peur de la douleur. |
French | Mon chemin est le mien et le mien seul Mon chemin est le mien et le mien seul Je marche sur le chemin du loup solitaire Pas d'endroit où je vais appeler à la maison De haut sur la montagne glacée Je hurle Je suis mon souffle mélancolique Et réfléchir à la question de ce que je crains plus La réponse ou le retour Je ne sentirai plus jamais la chaleur de l'amour Car je suis froid et solitaire Bien que ma volonté reste là où je suis |
French | L'indie ennemie est suicidaire depuis des mois maintenant J'ai besoin de mourir et tout ce que je touche se transforme en merde Mon esprit me dit constamment que je ne vaux rien et que je ne mérite pas de vivre Que je suis un drain pour tout le monde autour de moi, je suis désolé, mais je dois partir pour que ceux qui m'aiment puissent passer à autre chose et ne pas s'inquiéter pour moi |
French | Mots d'affirmation de soi positive sont dignes Je suis aimable Je suis gentil Je suis humble Je suis capable Je mérite le respect et je donne le respect en retour Je suis intelligent Je ne suis pas une déception Je n'ai pas à vivre à la hauteur de mes parents ou des attentes de la société Je suis indépendant Je mérite le bonheur et je mérite de bonnes choses dans la vie Je choisis la paix Je réussirai et atteindre mes objectifs Ma vie a un but |
English | My father and I are both suicidal Today he was fired and I also found out I'll be homeless in the summer PLEASE HELP I need advice I wish I could give a quick bite sized synopsis but there's a lot going on here so I have a lot to say as quickly as possible I come from a pretty rough background I was disowned during high school by my biological family because of my medical issues not because I was gay However I was able to continue attending high school while homeless and after receiving US government benefits got my own apartment and surgeries needed to live I subsequently dropped out of high school in order to homeschool myself via a local university which led to me graduating early and going to the state school of my choice on partial scholarship There were and still are two goals in my life One is to become a manager of a psychology research lab The other is to be adopted and be a part of a family The research experience I coveted came pretty quickly I joined a research lab where I ran experience managed research IT and taught behavior analysis facial action coding systems I E Paul Human but resigned during this past summer since my employer was a horrendous professor who withheld overdue wages and refused my authorship I subsequently tried taking on an IT job with my university but had to resign on bad terms it drove my ADHD crazy and I spiraled into a depression I am still in right now During these employment experiences I mentioned above I met and eventually became close to a programmer I met online He and I are both gay although we do not have a physically intimate relationship Instead we've become a sort of family I've always wanted a dad and he's always wanted a son that he couldn't adopt with his late husband Thus we meshed together and decided that I would be adopted by him after I graduate from college in two years or so due to how the legal adoption process would complicate my taxes scholarships federal aid My depression has gotten terrible over the past few months and this past week I was planning on shooting myself in a lake However I decided to hang out with my father one last time And today I just found out that my father was just fired from his senior developer position at a company he s been with for years He no longer has healthcare and has a very severe bipolar disorder that can barely be controlled even with several stabilizers This is compounded with some back issues he has and brain scans show that he is developing Alzheimer's at the age of I spoke with him, and it sounds like he s given up on finding a job and is placing all his proverbial money on achieving disability status which he'll be eligible for in months I also happen to know that he has practically nothing in savings yet has new car payments to make just signed a or year lease on a small house rental a month or so customized lease no subletting and has his own some year old mother that relies on his remittances Quite honestly it's a recipe for disaster My father went to his shrink shortly after being fired and mentioned that he was considering suicide and has a couple of methods in mind He shared this information as we drove home from his appointment Now this is only the second time he s contemplated suicide in his life and I'm not entirely sure if he's being serious or not but it's quite alarming Alarming because I wonder if it's my fault my depression has pissed him off lately to the point where he's yelled at me and made me leave his house for crying and also because I am in the same shoes as mentioned before I was going to kill myself on Monday Today my dad made me go through his pill box and tell him if any of his medicine could be used to kill himself He did this because one of my research interests is behavioral medicine and psychopharmacology I lied and told him no but it's pretty obvious I lied There may be some hope for me, I'm attending a university on partial scholarship which begins on Monday However I have been struggling immensely with my ADHD I recently as in days ago received a formal psychological assessment for ADHD so that my psychiatrist would feel more comfortable prescribing the hard hitters like Adderall I guess you can't fault a psychiatrist at a university not wanting to hand out amphetamines to anyone claiming to have ADHD no I'm hoping this medicine will help pull me through the intense course load of this upcoming semester and allow me to focus on getting an A or Pharmacy Technician certification However this is not going to be a guaranteed success A little more information about my situation I have had mental breakdowns from being a full-time employee and student concurrently and know for a fact I cannot do that I wish I could but even at age I don't have the mental fortitude to do that especially with all my personal problems This is problematic in that I do not have a lease set up for the summer Who will I live with I haven't the slightest idea the only person I know is my father I've taken a look at my finances and holding a lease even with a roommate would not be feasible with a hr job assuming I could get one I also do not have a car or anyone to lean on at this time So really I have to pull myself AND my father through I really need advice I'm trying not to let my feelings out at this time but it should be apart that I'm quite flustered No I m terrified So if I had to list out all my issues and questions in a bullet form here I go How do I deal with my own suicidal tendencies I'm not calling a hotline checking into an ER etc. but I do want to work through this I can't find anyone in my area Denton amp Dallas TX that will work with my lack of insurance disposable income What do I do if my father is serious about being suicidal or shows signs of getting depressed I need to take responsibility for this situation and I don't know how seeing as I'm not a paragon of mental health What do I do if my father kills himself What do I do if my father ends up going of his medicine and becomes manic How can I assist my father in applying for disability SSI I've heard that you get rejected the first time Anyway any info on this would be appreciated What do I do if my father defaults on his house car ends up penniless I barely have enough money to feed myself What do I do if I end up homeless during the summer and my father doesn't take me in He threw me out of his place when I was feeling depressed this past week or so and I doubt it's a safe place to count on being in Really Just anything constructive anyone has to say I will listen I m at a complete loss here my mind is stretched so thin here that I'm falling apart at the seams |
English | Please I need help so badly have never used Reddit a day in my life aside from looking at weird horror creepy shit I am not going to give specifics, but I have a chronic disease and am in pain very close to the level of pain varies I am severely limited I am s x repulsed due to past traumatic experiences I couldn't keep up with friends due to pain and mental illness therefore losing them Every ex has snapped and left me they couldn't take it anymore Don't you think I can't take it either Especially now Completely alone Abused and neglected by family Are you fucking serious I don't even know if I'll live through the rest of this year Just disgusting I can't believe everyone has turned their back to let me die I m in my mid s Maybe I just need some fucking friends I am very often bed bound or toilet bound It is absolute misery Sometimes I feel like I'm being s dually assaulted with a knife It's just downright horrible I don't want to be like this anymore This isn't living Its existing in agony I'll take hell over this Please Let me die |
English | I'm just sick of being alone Life isn't worth living by myself I'm not old but in my entire life I've never met someone I can relate to I'm not deluded enough to think it s because I m in any way better or unique but whatever the reasons are the fact remains that I'm utterly alone Occasionally I'll see a post on r bisexual or r meirl that is particularly relatable but that doesn't translate into real life I want to meet a person that I can deal with being around for extended periods of time It's not even that I don't like people I fucking love people I root for humanity at every turn and generally get along with the people I'm forced to be around family and coworkers But it never translates into a true friendship I've never been an important person to someone other than family I even lived with a girlfriend for a year but looking back I never felt comfortable around her, and it was purely a high school infatuation brought into reality |
French | Jeune Ma mère et mon père étaient alcooliques J'étais déprimé Je me cachais dans ma chambre en désordre Je n'ai jamais dormi Je n'ai jamais dormi Bientôt, il est arrivé au point où je voulais juste mourir Alors j'ai essayé de me pendre J'ai pris une corde et l'ai accroché sur une étagère dans mon placard Mais dès que j'ai réalisé ce que je faisais J'ai commencé à pleurer et crié pour ma sœur |
English | You ever forget why you even want to do it But you can't forget that you want to do it I've been ruining my future because of these stupid thoughts |
English | Thoughts about suicide became every day routine This is happening during last years It started pretty weak I thought about suicide once in a month but then it became worse and worse I already had real suicide attempts which ended up in reanimation Actual planning of suicide and not such successful attempts were way more than Today thoughts about suicide became my everyday routine before I go to sleep Sometimes this is the only thing that can make me fall asleep knowing that one day I will finally die and this all will end It make me feel calm I know this is sick I never wanted my life to be this way But this is how it is One thing that I wish more than anything is that one lucky day I will have real opportunity to do it When I'll be all alone and I'll be in right mood I'll drink some alcohol and hang myself P S Yes I recovered by depression with meds and therapist You can see that this didn't help Mental health care is very poor in my country So no one will help me I don't even know why I write it here just some kind of venting |
English | None loves me and that s OK had none I have none And I will have none So I can't disappoint anyone There's no point in doing anything Talking eating breathing So why I still cling to life Why I came here Why I can't just do it Why won't it ends |
French | Comment écrire un suicide noté ont pensé à ce qu'il faut écrire ANF qui mettre dedans, je ne sais pas comment le commencer |
French | Je ne peux pas supporter que je sois Indienne vivant au Royaume-Uni J'ai été amenée ici par mes parents pour une vie meilleure, mais je ne peux pas avoir d'amis. J'ai besoin de boire avec eux. |
French | J'aimerais que la moto frappe Meir fatigué Je ne suis pas déprimé Je suis tellement fatigué de prétendre que ma vie ne s'écroule pas en morceaux Je suis fatigué de retenir mes larmes chaque fois que quelque chose de mauvais se passe ou quand quelqu'un est déçu de moi, je souhaite que la voiture m'a couru trop Je souhaite que je n'ai jamais existé la première place |
English | Feeling traded Reddit I feel stupid posting this because I always end up complaining about the same bullshit I also know there must be hundreds of people in my situation I feel completely trapped I'm I'm trans I work at a dead end job I can't transition in I have no education no savings to start constant anxiety that prevents me from even taking care of myself and a persistent and unending feeling of complete loneliness I can't even find reasons to guilt myself into not taking a bottle of aspirin and laying down in my bathtub It used to be a cycle but I think about how I want to die every night and I cant see any way out of this constant torture People say nice things button me it just doesn't matter anymore How can I compete with cisgendered girls for anything Work relationships school how can I possibly compete when I have nothing of value to add to anything I have all sorts of contacts and info for crisis lines and safe homes but i don't know how that is supposed to help I don't want to be in a strange place i don't want to hear my voice on a phone appealing to strangers I don't know how to voice the desperation I feel in day to day life |
English | What to do next I m years old I just graduated from high school in the spring I have struggled with depression on and off since But since spring of my life has been in a downward spiral August I moved out of my parents house two days before the start of my senior year of high school I spent all of that school year commuting hr plus to school all the while working full-time to pay for somewhere I could live My grades suffered and when the time to apply to colleges came around I was left with one place that would take me and it was the school I least wanted to attend I sucked it up the rest of the school year and enrolled in summer courses at said college but I never attended a single class I just took advantage of the free counseling for students The psychologist there diagnosed me with borderline personality and major depressive disorder I came clean about the diagnosis to my parents and asked for their help I deferred my fall admission to the winter to take some time off and get right but just this morning my parents with two police officers at their sides kicked me out based on fear that I was going to be violent I have little money left because I spent it to enroll in summer classes no job no car and no place to go I tried to hang myself earlier today but I couldn't bring myself to fully commit |
English | I m gonna check out am seriously just done with everything I feel really guilty as I have had a lot given to me and been lucky, but I just can't any more I don't feel like I fit in anywhere I'm so tired of being alone and not having any real connections with anyone I'll feel so guilty because my parents and aunties love me, but I hide so much from them because I can't tell them I'm struggling I've done it before, but they don't know how to handle it I've tried the pills I've tried therapy I've done some mean things in my time which I can't let go I think I'm just faulty you know I wasn't meant for this place I've been toying with this idea for the past few weeks, but I think the time has finally come I wanna check out of this wild ride they call life Not exactly sure how I'll do it, but I hope I succeed |
French | Je suis un homme d'un an a été violé par une femme séduisante dans mon université ma deuxième année avorté Après que c'est arrivé j'ai abandonné l'école et je ne pouvais pas expliquer à mes parents pourquoi je suis rentré à la maison pourquoi j'étais si démotivé les gens que j'ai dit à ma mère je n'arrivais pas à croire qu'un homme noir dans l'armée pouvait être abusé par une petite femme blanche |
French | BON BYE J'en ai assez J'en ai assez de sentir comme un morceau de merde que je suis tellement en train de baiser BYE |
English | I thought this was kind of a support group for one another I know it sounds dumb I subscribed to this group to connect with others who also are going through dark times and talk in hopes of bringing each other s spirits up I'm not expecting anyone to save anybody but just talking helps I don't want to get into details but I've been really scared sad and lonely because I'm considering leaving this world I even tied my scarf to my door handle to see if it was secure enough to work I just started seeing a therapist and I plan to go on some meds to help me get out of this rut I hope it works I feel like my days are numbered I turned to this in hopes to somewhat connect with others, but I feel like I get shut down in some posts Is that just the way it is as I'm learning here I m kind of noob to Reddit too |
English | Is it my fault for telling my friend s boyfriend she overdosed My friend is severely depressed for about years now, and she kept making threats how she was going to kill herself even attempting it a couple of times and ending up in hospital Last night she told me how she was going to overdose and I kept trying to talk her out of it for about hours she kept telling me that she is sorry and that she can't do this anymore and how it just feels like the right time to do it She then disappeared for around h and when she comes back she tells me she has pills and already took I call an ambulance to her house and her parents to go in her room by the time the ambulance was there and her parents in the room she took pills Her mom messages me thanking me for telling her and that she is on her way to the hospital I then message her boyfriend telling him what happened as if I was him I would want to know After about h she messages me telling me not to tell anyone to which I agree So I delete the message but he has already seen it She messages me today saying that she hates me and that I promised not to tell anyone which i haven't I messaged him before I made the promise and tells me that she should ve told him when she wanted to not me I don't think I did the wrong thing by telling her boyfriend I might simply be narcissistic but I don't think it's my fault anyway am I the asshole |
French | La petite amie en ligne veut se suicider a rencontré quelqu'un en ligne et nous nous aimons absolument maintenant La chose est que bien qu'elle glisse souvent accidentellement dans parler des enfants ou de ce qui serait son travail pendant qu'elle vit avec moi, elle a des moments plus conscients où elle s'arrête elle-même et dit que c'est juste un beau rêve que la mère n'arrivera jamais. |
English | Did I just save a life I was taking a drive at night just now, and I was on my way home I saw a shadow of a person on the bridge I get this feeling all over that I need to talk to this person I turn around and called out to her Well call her B I asked B if she was ok and if she wanted to talk She told me she was just having a bad day, and she was fine I told her I had nowhere else to be She again said she was fine, and she thanked me So I left I started driving and I couldn't shake the feeling that I should go and seriously talk to her So I turned around and parked close by and walked towards the bridge I didn't see her anywhere, and I was starting to get nervous When I saw her I started up a conversation B told me about her being trapped in a relationship with her bf, and we shared some of our life story s We talked for a long time When we started to leave the bridge she hugged me I gave her the best hug I could B if you re-reading this I really hope you re situation gets better and know I care about you |
English | Today s the day Life really sucks I am tired of waking up I don't want to feel anything any more I'm finished |
French | Grain ne se soucient pas vraiment plus je l'habitude d'obtenir très déprimé maniaque en fonction de la situation, mais maintenant je suis juste flottant à travers les jours honnêtement mauvaises décisions récentes m'ont laissé au chômage et d'avoir à revenir à mes parents place Racked un peu plus grand dans la dette de carte de crédit. |
English | I'm alone I have no friends And I want to die bc I just can't take this pain any more I've always tried to be positive and see the bright side of things but I've taken beating after beating and my life is just shit I live in a basement I am unemployed And I have nothing going for me, I'm broke, and I can't get myself out of this situation I hate my life and I just want it to be over I don't want to feel this way any more It hurts I no longer have the motivation to even get out of bed My relationship with my family is horrible, and my parents are getting a divorce My boyfriend and I just stay in his basement doing nothing for weeks and weeks and my life is just passing by I can't take this any more I want this all to end |
French | Une raison s'il vous plaît Ma vie est absolument rien Je suis complètement seul Jour et jour Je passe seul aucune interaction humaine Je n'ai pas d'amis Je n'ai pas d'amis Mes rêves ont tous été écrasés J'ai essayé de faire ce que je voulais faire dans la vie et échoué Je n'ai aucune compétence sociale Je ne peux pas mourir Les gens comme moi sont juste destinés à cela Je suis venu à réaliser que personne ne peut jamais être quelqu'un |
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French | Je veux juste boire et je regarde actuellement toutes mes bouteilles de pilules dont je ne me soucie même plus Je veux juste que tout soit fini avec |
French | Je me réveille est horrible ne veux pas me réveiller plus j'ouvre mes yeux et c'est un autre jour j'ouvre mes yeux et je suis toujours au fond de la roche je ne vais pas n'importe où j'ouvre encore mes yeux et réalise que je l'ai fait pendant des jours et je compte toujours que j'ai encore rien changé je suis né pauvre sur le fond je suis toujours là par la substance j'ai été élevé par la même substance |
English | Everyone is better than me at everything Literally everything I'm always the worst at everything from things like video games to school I'm always the dumbest the weakest the least athletic the worst aim etc. I know that there will always be someone who is better than you at anything but I'm always the WORST There's no point in keeping me alive |
English | Blah feel hopeless I have no idea how to make close friends and that's all I actually want I have no support network and it makes it hard to see the point in even trying to be productive member of society I don't have any passions My career path makes poor money I don't even remember what it's like to really laugh I separated myself from countless unhealthy people and now I'm left with no one Part of me wants those people back but I know they only escalate these awful feelings Yes I am and have been through many forms of therapy medications and most mental health help available Suicide is just always this little voice in my head telling me it can make all my problems go away Even if my problems didn't exist I don't feel enough joy or peace to make life seem worthwhile |
English | I need help please yr old males basically I have depression and suicidal thoughts What happened is that during P E someone somehow went through my backpack and stole my phone which made me upset Than when I told my parents they were upset, and I came out of nowhere and yelled so fucking much and sobbed I threw an office chair to the wall and somehow when I threw the chair it hit my mom from behind somehow which made her bleed This is the most terrifying situation for me since it wasn't that much blood she was crying and saying to me WHERE DO YOU LEARN THIS ATTITUDE ANGER FROM she was sobbing and crying, and I told her I said I was very sorry I cried on the table so much |
English | A speeding ends there anyway I can end this I just need this life to get better I'm a speeding train chasing after my goals but I don't know if there is anything over the horizon I want to pull the plug I want to jump off one of the highest buildings in this campus and feel my body crush against the stone-cold pavement |
English | Why shouldn't I kill myself Ok I'm about to graduate high school I have no future plans No plans for college no skills in the workplace and no motivation I struggle with anxiety and bipolar so I'll probably get fired anyway I hate the world People amaze me Society s rules are stupid Everyone in this world is either shallow a hypocrite a douchebag or an idiot There is too much ignorance in this world for me to handle No women have EVER shown ANY interest in me, I'm ugly fat and anti-social I have very low self-esteem but everyone seems to put me down about my appearance as well Also If I'm going to die someday why can't I just get it over with I'm atheist I have no God to pray for help I've tried religion I don't work for me There is nothing going for me in this world I've considered suicide ever since I was I've finally came to the end of my rope Someone convince me in the next hour why I shouldn't I got the gun right here Go |
French | La seule raison pour laquelle le suicide est mal vu et montré comme prenant la voie facile est parce que les organes directeurs ne veulent pas perdre le revenu que vous allez créer avec vos impôts et votre contribution à la société. |
French | Pourquoi devrais-je vivre si c'est sans espoir que j'ai fait les choses en mon pouvoir pour m'améliorer Je suis fait Je me souviens avoir pensé que quand j'arriverais là où je suis maintenant, les choses seraient mieux Je ne suis pas en train de vivre mal Il n'y a rien que je puisse faire pour atténuer ce fait Je suis fait Je ne peux pas obtenir ce que je veux et c'est clair pour moi Je ne sais pas ce qu'il y a d'autre |
French | Je suis sur mon dernier Léon May le j'ai découvert qu'un chanteur d'un groupe que j'ai aimé pendant presque une décennie est mort de sa propre main Il a sauté du pont de la route Forth en Ecosse le même pont qu'il a chanté il a sauté il y a une dizaine d'années la chanson Flottant dans la dernière émotion Scott a perdu son nom Il a perdu son âme Il a perdu son âme |
English | I m going to try again soon I'm so tired of everything |
English | I m a danger to myself was looking at the self-help books in the psychology section of a bookstore and I accidentally triggered the hell out of myself and remembered more details about my trauma and i ve been dissociating ever since I want to die i didn't want to know these new details and now i m going to analyze every inch of them and it'll tear me apart I just want to forget i ll stop thinking when i m dead |
English | Today I just walked around looking at tree branches I could hang myself honor I could buy a gun if I get enough courage to do that I'm so close to ending it |
English | Afraid of the future sorry if I don't speak English well I am years old and live in Austria I am afraid of the future because of corona and school I would like to have class at school But doing my homework at home is really hard for me, I forget most of the time to do homework I don't have the motivation my grades are bad and so on It is not easy for me to find a place where I can kill myself because my mother is sick so she must stay home with me, I also can't buy anything online because I am not allowed to order something on Amazon What should I do |
English | I want to died m just tired of being here I'm trying so hard but it's just not enough The only reason I'm hesitating is that I have small children and I worry what will happen when I m gone I feel so useless even though I KNOW my family needs me I keep thinking about ending my life especially now that my husband and I had a fight I think I just need someone to talk to who won't judge me about my depression I've tried talking to my husband about it but he doesn't understand and brushes me off I feel like I can't talk to doctors because I don't want a label |
English | Frustrated don't mean to poke at anyone unnecessarily but I'm sick of researching methods of suicide trying to figure out how best to kill my broke ass and then BAM out pops a whole page trying to convert me to the religion that I am by default exposed the most to I understand that it is seminal to the belief system to make more disciples but tell me up front Don't try and trick me my life is disappointing enough It doesn't matter where either from websites regarding how best to kill myself to people I met on here Don't string me along talking about cheap gun prices because you want to be rid of it but then use it as a tool to tell me about Jesus THEN NOT SELL ME THE GUN I know I'm venting but it's hard for me to find a resource to help I live in a smaller house and I'm too tall to hang myself conventionally So while researching other methods of hanging I've gotten tricked and scammed a few times I'm pretty young but have begun losing my hair I wronged the one friend I had left because I owe them money and my family might get evicted soon So please quit trying to scam and fool those of us who want to die we literally just want to die lol |
French | Je ne veux pas vivre Je vais garder ce court et simple Je ne veux pas vivre Je ne veux pas vivre J'ai essayé de vivre mais je ne peux pas y arriver Je suis fatigué d'être seul même quand j'essaie de ne pas être seul Les gens ne m'aiment pas, je n'aurai certainement jamais une relation ou l'amour dans ma vie Je n'aurai jamais un passe-temps passionné ou un travail Je ne peux pas profiter des petites choses que je ne suis |
French | Juste un château de sable Est-ce que quelqu'un d'autre paie jamais comme un château de sable Comme une belle que les gens regardent dans la crainte Certains peuvent l'envier Alors vous vous rendez compte que ce n'est rien de plus que des restes de pierres et d'os blanchis par alors soleil puis laissé seul avec aucun espoir d'un être quelque chose de plus fugitive plaisir à ceux qui errent par je ne suis rien et sera balayé de nouveau à la mer et tout le monde oublier qu'une |
English | I know I should tell someone but I'm so scared m years old, and I don't know what to do with myself any more It seems like every other day for the past year I've seriously contemplated suicide It could be longer but my sense of time has become so skewed from my depression I barely graduated from high school and it s been years in college and I still haven't completed my gen ed I feel like my family is just waiting for me to finally kill myself like my mother did My brother even admitted that he doesn't see me ending up any other way My dad recently told me where he keeps his guns They're not even under lock and key and he and my sister are often out of the house I know I should tell my dad what's going on but I'm afraid of what he'll say to me, I was going to tonight but then I realized there was no proper fallback for my dogs and even in death I don't want anything bad to happen to them, I'm so scared that by admitting I'm still like this I'll be abused again for it But I'm also so afraid of trying again and failing and having to continue on |
English | I'm planning my suicide I know this account was just made but it's not a troll account I am being serious here also my English isn't very good, so I apologize about my grammar Anyway I am year old girl turning in July I don't go to school any more I dropped about months ago because it was too much for me, I am half Irish and Chinese okay that stuff isn't really relevant let me just get to the point Basically I have struggled from the age of to now with my school work friends and pretty much everything I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of and from then on I had to attend pointless meetings to visit the counselling therapy doctors etc. Every time I would have to go there they'd let me off an hour or before school or it d start at AM and I would be so happy because I would get off school early, but I was so stupid I didn't realize how it would affect me for my future years in school all I wanted to do was stay home and do whatever I want Medication would make me feel like a zombie and having to take it every day for school was a pain I always failed my subjects and I had to get a SNA special needs assistant when I was at first I didn't get along with her, but she was actually really nice Then as I was severely depressed I realized that there was no point of me attending school I would cry pretty much everyday on my way to school and coming home A lot of people in my school were very smart, and I was jealous of that something I never could be My dream job was being a nurse because I like to help people, but I guess that's not going to be my future because I quit school at Now everything is x worse than before my brother just graduated, and he always got A s in his grades and my little sister gets all the attention and I feel like my family is ashamed of me My dad and mom has tried too much for me and my future but I didn't show much appreciation All they do now is fight it doesn't effect me as much as it used too, but it gets really annoying sometimes I have girls who I am closed to that I trust, but I know they won't be here to support me everyday all day I keep contact with two people online that help me and keep me happy sometimes so that's good I guess It was always my brother getting the most attention from my family because he was smart and I wasn't it really put me down and whenever my dads friends would see him or me it'd be the same questions as How is school and What did you get in grades It put me to the point where I only thought that grades meant everything Now imagine waking up in your room every day for months straight but having nothing to do but just sitting in yeah it would make you like this I guess I know I could get a job I could do something, but I am not happy or motivated AT ALL The environment I am living in makes me super depressed Well anyway so when it gets to the the of June I will be going to China with a friend of mine for an entire month coming back on the the of July So it's my birthday days after that and I will be having to stay with her Now why am I doing it around that time because It will be the last month of having fun with someone I like to spend my time with It will be the last time I ever will probably get to travel with a friend I may seem snobby and ignorant because I get everything but I don't So when it's around that time I wish you all the best of luck in life Thanks for reading it and like I said before I apologize that my English sucks |
English | Fuck love and everything else I don't know if this fits here, but I have been talking with this one girl for months we were hitting it off pretty well everything But then it all goes to shit Note I have a mild disability and I'm really insecure about it This is important for this story to make sense But to the point where it gets fucked up Yesterday I got off school when I see this girl walking holding hands with my schools player And I heard he told the girl some made up shit about me This shit fucked me up terrible I'm fucking ready to just OD shit This shit is the last fucking trigger Fuck everyone fuck everything fuck this world fuck this universe But regardless any support is appreciated |
English | Please help need advice This is literally my first post ever on this site and I wish it wasn't My female cousin who is barely older than me is falling deeper and deeper into depression She has had a bunch of things happen in her life that may have led to this point Her dad was constantly short-tempered and was willing to use physical discipline to get his point across Keep in mind we grew up in the Philippines where it is acceptable to use physical discipline on your kids Our family has a history of being extremely short-tempered which I think comes from my grandmother, and she passed it on to her kids Our family loves to yell and berate you for any small wrong doing that they think you did They also like to butt into whatever you were doing in life My cousins know the feeling as they literally couldn't even travel outside the state without being yelled at for not informing our extended family These factors and other events like her boyfriend and her going through a pretty rough patch in their relationship has made her depressed She recently told me that she has started to take pills to calm herself down I'm no doctor, so I don't know what she is taking She has been telling me that it is harder for her to feel any emotion other than anger and sadness and that she is slowly starting to think that life isn't worth living She also has started to contemplate cutting herself and has confided in me that she has thought of ending it then and there multiple times now Like I wish she was joking but she seems pretty serious She also told me not to tell anyone about it so informing our family is out the window as it will signal a large breach of trust between me and her Guys I seriously need advice on how to handle this without breaking her trust |
English | Undiagnosed chronic illness and suicide years I have been dealing with undiagnosed illness I m I stay active I eat right I'm training to be a mental health nurse Yet all I want to do is give up I'm so overwhelmed Have no hope for this ever getting better I want to end it all but not hurt my family What is the point |
English | Reaching out m a yo male Catholic recently laid off from Army Corps of Engineers st gen college grad I had to move back in with mom until I find another job Younger brother also recently moved in after an issue with heroin sold car for drugs and is starting outpatient rehab this week Mom is also on the fringes of drug use mostly MJ and enables the younger brother After layoff I had to move out of my rental house and going practically bankrupt Constant fighting at parents house makes me feel like my years as troubled teen when I'm almost I started going to casinos because the energy on the floor makes me happy but starting to develop compulsive gambling issues I have no health insurance and had to self-medicate with expired antibiotics for strep throat depression is overwhelming started to hallucinate earlier I don't remember who I am or what I wanted to do with my life I don't want to die but living is painful right now, and I lose strength to fight as time passes |
English | I'm a spiteful vengeful impulsive self-destructive alter with little empathy for my host Y has a lot of caring loving friends who reassure her with constant platitudes of it will get better or you have so much potential and her close friend C even gives her such remarks as life is a beautiful struggle and I will be miserable if you leave this earth But I don't have any friends no one cares about me which is just as fitting I suppose because I don't care about anyone Just a few hours ago with the onset of a mixed episode Y even challenged come at me sadness with a sort of gun ho bravado that I can only deem ridiculous because we both know how horrible mixed episodes are We share a lot of trauma including extensive child abuse and sexual assault as a college student and then as a sex worker but where Y remains idealistic and empathetic I can barely muster any empathy for anyone perhaps just the bits of Asian social etiquette indoctrinated into us Y has dreams and aspirations her mind flowering with research ideas about genetic psychopharmacology and biochemistry whereas my mind is just dead unable to appreciate or recall much of anything I have no happy memories just extremely horrible ones In the past fear of pain and the fear that I might be imprisoned into a void of nothingness have pushed me into such compromises as jumping further away from the subway train to make it more of a game of Russian Roulette I have done this about seven times or sticking my legs out a story window We've been hospitalized times in the last years But I tire of these games I tire of suffering no one thinks that I will actually have the courage to do it I am not afraid of nothingness any more I would much rather risk that than continue to experience the agony of existence I can only keep my self-hatred in check for so long I have just as many rights as Y and I do not consent to existence |
French | J'ai contemplé tous les jours depuis aussi loin que je me souvienne, je n'ai pas la motivation de faire un très long post, je suis juste fatigué, je veux juste l'arrêter, j'ai vu ma seule lueur d'espoir dans toute ma vie et la pensée de la perdre me rend fou, je continue à mentir à mon psychiatre et conseiller, je ne peux pas l'aider. |
Subsets and Splits