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French | null |
French | Tout ce que je veux putain mort ne peut pas se résoudre à le faire parce que ça va dévaster mon père Ma mère est morte quand j'étais enfant et mon père m'a pratiquement élevé Mais dieu je suis tellement fatigué de cette routine et ça ne va que devenir de pire en pire Je ne veux pas être esclave d'une société pour les prochaines années Je ne veux pas avoir à me battre contre mon anxiété à chaque minute éveillée Je suis tellement fatigué de me voir toujours |
English | I intensely want to die I would like to go to sleep and not wake up I pray for this intensely to whatever higher power that may exist If Jennifer Gibbons of the Gibbons twins was able to will herself to die from a cardiac arrest to honor an agreement between herself and her sister it may be possible for anyone to drive themselves to die during the night through sheer intensity of will I want to die I want to die I want to die |
English | Need help asap Hello I was wondering if any of you can talk to me before I decide to do something reckless I m in a lot of pain And I feel like ending it all I would prefer text or call Thank you |
English | Need major help Involves two suicidal girls where one is persuading the other to go at the same time really don't know if this is the right place to post this but I seriously need some help First off I want to say this doesn't involve me but a girl that I've been dating who I care about a lot for simplicity let s call her Jane and I really can't bear to see her get hurt She told me yesterday about everything she s been going through with these two girls that she knows and I was fucking speechless normally I'm great at giving advice especially when depression is involved but fuck me I just couldn't Basically for like a few weeks this girl let s call her Betty has been coming up to her and telling her how she's sick of life how she has nothing to live for and just how suicidal she is she'd go on to tell Jane about the different types of ways she wants to kill herself and goes on to say how she'll end up doing it this weekend and so on I think the main cause is KET abuse but she still does it I want to say here that Jane and Betty know each other but not even that well Jane is pretty much that girl that warm open loving and people always think it's ok to confide in her So Jane has been dealing with this girl talking to her trying to get her out of it but nothing seems to be working Betty is past the point of caring for anyone and anything even her dad who she loves more than anything It even got to the point where Betty two days ago tried to kill herself by Over dosing on pills in Jane's house on her bed Betty will not go to a doctor because she knows there ll be a strong chance she'd be institutionalized or sectioned Now I m going to introduce girl number two let s call her Sophie this girl suffers from depression she's on antidepressants but they're not working Jane and Sophie are like best friends and Jane didn't know until very recently how bad Sophie s depression has been and how Sophie has been going through these suicidal thoughts as well Now here comes the truly fucked up part Betty has been talking to Sophie and trying to convince Sophie to commit suicide and to do it with her and to leave this world together I can't remember what the outcome of this was and where Sophie stood with it but I do remember Jane telling me that it would destroy her if Sophie committed suicide like she would not be able to cope with that and how fucking angry she was at Betty for doing what she's doing I think Betty and Jane are actively looking for a psychiatrist for Betty Now Jane has gone to her university counselor for advice and her advice to Jane was to simply leave Betty alone Which actually shocked me incredibly What do you guys think Jane should do I really want to help her, but I really don't know what to say what she's going through or what would be right in terms of what Jane should do I do not know any of the two girls who are suicidal I only know Jane Knowing Jane if anything happens to any of these two girls then she will blame herself Of I'm going to be there for Jane no matter what and she s told me how just by being around me, it cheers her up, and she gets happier but at the same time I feel so useless with it all |
English | Back from therapy Talked a while I am still suicidal but not actively perusing that avenue right now He made me promise and shake on it not to hurt myself and attempt just until I see him again I go back on Sunday which is Mother s Day here in the States I feel like breaking that promise, but I shook on it, so I can't He asked me if I need to go back to the hospital Can you guess what my reply to THAT was FUCK NO So I am bound by this fucking promise Fuck me My son takes blood pressure meds we just filled the prescription recently that would kill me for sure Dammit We did Neurofeedback Fun Not Whatever Still suicidal feeling like shit Look like shit I have dark circles under my eyes and I feel like fucking killing myself Fuck this life LG |
English | I m ugly Ya |
English | I lost everything including Last year was my first year in college In a month of college my father died Well he died physically He mentally died like years due to health, and I had to watch him everyday growing up and seeing my father in agony for so long was nothing but sad I had problems myself abnormal problems children shouldn't have Complicated stuff Anyhow when he passed away I was in shock and it didn't feel real Before the pandemic my friends introduced me into the stock market I put a considerable amount in Timeline is around spring break and students couldn't return to dorms and had to continue our study at home I had my mom take out a loan almost figures Initially I wanted to invest I did invest But my brother introduced me to options Being so detached from reality due to pandemic and after shock phase I used money and the stock market to compensate these Problems and more problems kept building up My mental health kept deteriorating, and I shut down all my friends I literally blocked them all now I have nobody My family doesn't really hate me they just feel sorry for me But I also have ADHD, so I have these repeated thoughts of me losing money Everyday I wake up, and I keep thinking of money I lost nearly My mom tells me not to worry, but I do I overthink a lot It's December now, and I feel a single day hasn't passed by because losing so much money so quickly and experiencing death is terrible, and I don't know how to get through this Also I thought I could make it back this semester so I decided to revamp my schedule for this semester and took classes all gen Ed s instead of my major classes, so I feel like I lost a lot of time and money So in all I lost time money relationships and my identity I was such a kind caring passionate person I used to love saving money and shopping Now nothing excites me anymore Literally nothing Because I keep comparing everything to the fact I lost this much money it's so bad Honestly looking at this from another perspective it's not even the money that was the most haunting it's losing who I am This is fucking crazy pandemic I felt affected the people who were going through some crazy shit but enhanced the effects I'm going through some crazy psychological event I'm a very open-minded person, so I like looking at all perspectives but damn man It's hard looking at yourself because it's you but when evaluating other people it's clear as day IDK why the hell I'm so complicated this sucks man I wake up every day so gloom I want to get better I swear but everything I associate is so toxic nowadays and I don't know how to get out of this phase god-damn it |
English | I planned a get-together to see my friends one last time and no one came didn't tell them why I wanted to hang out, and I planned it a while ago so it wasn't last minute Everyone flaked I try not to be a downer when they're around I honestly don't think anyone knows how depressed I've been these past few months and I don't know how to tell anyone I had a therapist who I'd get all this stuff out to, but she left, so I haven't been able to talk to anyone about how hopeless and useless I've felt in almost months I don't feel like it's fair to dump it all on my friends and even if I felt I could go to them, I don't know how to tell them I've planned to jump from a bridge on Monday January st It'll been cold enough that if I manage to survive the fall I'll freeze to death in the river Tomorrow I m going to watch the lunar eclipse alone I've always liked stargazing Sorry I have no one to talk to, so I'm just shouting into the internet void again If you re-reading thank you for giving me a couple of minutes of your time |
French | Rien de ce que je fais est assez, je suis manipulateur et utiliser les gens pour m'aider à me sentir mieux sur moi-même, je ne peux pas travailler, je ne peux pas fonctionner, je me rends malade, je suis là à trembler et sangloter pendant que les gars m'envoient des photos de mes seins et mon cul et je me conforme pendant que je secoue et sanglote parce que je veux l'attention que j'essaie de décider si je devrais |
French | Mise à jour sur l'overdose de Tylenol Hier J'avais juste l'impression d'avoir une mauvaise grippe, j'ai quand même vomi une fois il y a quelques minutes Hier, quand j'ai sonné aux urgences, ils m'ont dit que j'allais bien, et j'ai juste réagi de manière excessive |
French | Mon meilleur ami s'est tiré dessus il y a des semaines Vous tuer est une solution permanente à un problème temporaire. Littéralement, tout le monde dans sa vie se sent coupable de ne pas lui parler assez à l'avance et de ne pas voir les signes. S'il vous plaît parlez à quelqu'un que vous aimez et dites-lui très clairement à quel point vous êtes sérieux. Les émotions et la chimie du cerveau sont deux choses très puissantes. |
French | Je suis en train de glisser Je veux que quelqu'un parle aussi Je travaille sur ma dépression depuis que je me suis presque suicidé les années dernières, et c'est même très dur Je fais beaucoup de choses à la Cour et de conseils en raison des nombreux abus différents que mon père m'avait fait à moi et à mes sœurs J'ai coupé les extrémités avec beaucoup de gens toxiques et j'ai vraiment été en train de m'améliorer |
English | I'm freaking the fuck out I can't function as an adult not that I could function as a kid either but as I'm becoming older my weirdness is becoming more and more of a problem I'll just quickly say that I developed social phobia in the the grade Since I shied away from everyone I had no friends besides my brother s friends who were only my friends because of my brother all the way through high school I get to college and run into the same problems I never admitted it to myself until recently but I've had severe depression apathy for a very long time I no longer have social phobia but I can't bring myself to show my personality I've shown less and less of my personality as the years have gone by to the point that I'm now a complete fucking weirdo And this isn't just around strangers and acquaintances I'm talking about this is around my own brother and my cousin who is basically my sister I can't be myself or show myself to anyone I've recently tried practicing by myself and trying to figure who I fucking am anymore, and I don't like what I see and hear I took shrooms about two weeks ago and now instead of bottling everything away in pure apathy I now care like a normal person And I just want to die even though I of course don't actually want to die I want to be happy and comfortable being myself around people but since I can't do that and will never be able I want to die And I'm freaking out I constantly have this terrible feeling in my stomach like I'm about to give a speech to a crowd of over people and just giving a short presentation in class is one of my least favorite things in the world and it won't go away How can I come out of this |
French | Je ne sais vraiment plus vraiment, je ne peux pas me plaindre, j'ai un travail, un petit ami aimant, une belle famille, des amis cool et j'ai fini l'université, mais je me sens tellement vide la plupart du temps, je sens que je dois le prendre pour continuer la plupart des jours, je ne me sens vraiment pas, je ne peux pas me concentrer sur ma carrière, plus j'essaie d'étudier, moins je peux comprendre. |
English | Every day seems worse than the previous Been having suicidal thoughts since forever Was never social I'm not too fond of people and generally stay away from most of them Life after corona has been a complete shitshow Lost my job Started a bake from home business which doesn't make me many Expenses are still more than income and I'm slowly going broke I'm a year-old guy with no hope for the future Not religious but have to pretend like I care out of respect The only thing keeping me sane is my GF But I see no future with her too She's a Muslim her family is strict and will probably object to her having anything to do with me Every day is a drag I wish I could just disappear Or swap my life with a child with an incurable disease At least they'd be able to make the most of it |
English | Just Watch YouTube have no skills or talent I feel lost and confused, and I don't know what to do I have nothing special about me and I feel like I'm going to die and become homeless someday because I can't compete with anyone and I don't do this networking thing that everyone is on about Its hard and because of Covid I could never do anything even if I wanted to |
French | C'est la première fois que je contacte Aide Je ne sais pas comment ça va se passer, mais si quelque chose ne change pas bientôt, il se passera que je l'ai mis en place avec des gens depuis trop longtemps J'ai été accusé aujourd'hui de faire une remarque de dénigrement si je devais faire une remarque de ne pas avoir été affecté à l'embauche de quelqu'un Je n'aurais jamais dit quoi que ce soit Je me sentais en colère |
French | Je ne peux pas me tuer avait un rêve il y a longtemps que j'étais en enfer, il ressemblait à un ombre charlie peinture surréaliste coloré mais encore morbide je connaissais Satan et il avait l'air une bonne affaire comme Marilyn Manson amp Hades de Disney Hercules j'avais fait quelque chose pour le mettre en colère et il a pris mon corps et l'a cassé en deux sur son genou j'ai accroché les deux pièces dans ce trou noir dans le sol |
English | Feeling horrible don't think I want to live any more I've caused too much pain to too many people and I just don't deserve to live any more I wish there was another way to solve this problem but seems like death is the only way out I just don't know what to do I feel so helpless I feel like the world would be a much better place if I just left I've always felt worthless and pathetic, and I feel like ending my life would be so much easier Thanks for listening to me |
English | How many neglect posts are in this sub Reddit I go on this sub Reddit a lot as someone who struggles with mental disorders I myself have suicidal thoughts but I'm not exactly suicidal I am sense I'm just really young and confused about how I feel about the world I get a little sad thinking about all the long heartfelt posts that are put on here that people just scroll past People will scroll past this one too I make me think a lot about how people just pick and choose what they want to see for their own happiness It's a weird feeling I feel bad for these people who aren't getting this necessary attention from a group of people they are trying to share their hardest struggles with but then it also makes me feel weirdly good I'm not the only one who is neglected by the open public I see one post with hundreds of upvotes but the next with ten The thing that saddens me is that there is no way to fix that Just like the real world we can't fix and help everybody and our standpoint is to always help ourselves first This is really random but whatever |
English | Once I'm home I will go to my spot and I'll just stand there Maybe I will jump Congrats people you broke me GG well played |
English | If I wasn't pregnant I'd take my own life tonight don't know WTF is wrong with me, I'm scared I've never felt this way before I m in therapy I just said bye to my mom she was really abusive And this pregnancy was so wanted Before getting pregnant I had what seemed like a perfect life I can't stop crying I don't know what to do Someone please help |
French | J'ai prévu de mettre fin à ma vie aujourd'hui avait mon suicide prévu pour aujourd'hui, mais ici je suis un peu envie d'obtenir de l'aide, mais je ne sais pas où je me sens coincé je suis passé avec elle cette fois, mais toutes les raisons pour lesquelles je voulais le faire reviennent à moi maintenant je suis fatigué de survivre comme ça |
English | Everyone I'm close to wants to die too Everyone I'm truly close to is just as suicidal as me And its hell Because if I want to die every second of every day they do too And that's terrifying The only thing keeping me here is the fact that I love these people too much to leave them And I'm sure they have no qualms leaving me to do this alone The person I care about the most probably doesn't even want to be around me so he wouldn't care if I would spiral without him, I just want to be there for them like they are for me, I want them to stay with me and IDK how to do that I can do my best to support them but in the end how far does that get me I haven't been able to be there enough to stop attempts in the past so what's different know Nothing I feel so useless I feel like they don't come to me when they need someone and I just want them to do that because unlike most people it doesn't bring me down when they do It makes me happy to know they trust me and they don't want to suffer alone Some of them have therapists yeah but the ones I care about the most there's don't And they're the worst off I'm scared every day especially when they repress their feelings or hold it all in Because doing that is what brought me to my low point I'm just lost I guess If I lose any of them I don't know if I'll have the motivation to keep going either |
English | One last chance giving myself one last chance this weekend I'm asking a girl out again and if I get a no I'm finally ending it I've given up on my life for a while but I just need that last push to end it and getting a no is all I need |
English | Something I told my one close friend about my suicidal inhalation and my depression and was very comforted at his response I asked if he'd be cool taking me to the hospital if I needed it, and he said he definitely would, He was very supportive of me and I love him for it, I'm just scared I'll relapse in a couple of days again and go back to feeling like complete shit Please help |
English | Tired of being worthless considered ending my life before but lately it's got a lot worse I feel as if I have absolutely nothing to live for There is nobody in this world that loves me I have no family my boyfriend disappeared I feel completely alone I'm so tired, and I can't find any reasons to carry on I feel that the world would be better off without me, I am completely unlovable I get no pleasure out of life anymore and i m not sure what to do |
French | Hey ce n'est pas le propriétaire mais un ami Le propriétaire de ce compte km fils les Deux tout le monde qui a essayé de le sauver il a laissé une note Chers Redditors Je sais que u essayé le meilleur mais je ne pouvais pas le faire, donc je vais me suicider Merci pour la société et le sentiment familier u m'a donné dans mes derniers jours c'était un sentiment indescriptible Mais u n'avez aucune faute dans ma mort J'ai laissé des instructions à mon ami le plus proche |
English | I almost lost a friend He is still with me thankfully, but please love everyone Watch over the people close to you and see if they need anything and don't ignore when things go wrong, or they ask for help even in little subtle ways Show the people that matter to you that you care, and please spread love and positivity The world really needs more of this right now Thank you |
English | I really want to attempt but I'm too scared that everything will just be magically better right as I stab myself For the past few months I've just been in oh shit I'm going to die mode I've been doing everything I can bring myself to do that will positively affect my mood even if it's only for a little while My parents are confused as to why I'm just disobeying them and my dad is getting even angrier at me daily This disobedience has only made them take away things that helped me And the worse my mental state is the more desperate I am to try to bring it up to even the slightest bit I don't have the strength to tell them how bad I'm doing, and I can't afford help even if I could get to it Talking to my friend has helped a lot but I'm still getting worse everyday I feel like I m in quicksand and everything I do to try to get out only makes me sink myself even further down I don't believe I will survive two more years of this I wish I had the strength to get help I'm wasting the opportunity for a cheap higher education by tanking my grades because I don't have the energy to do anything And every time my parents see my grades I m reminded how much of a failure I am And to top it all off I get to be dysphoric too as of recently Fun Sorry for ranting Tldr I want the pain to end |
English | I'm going to leave wok grab all my things and head into the mountains m not coming back They wouldn't take me back The devil is coming for me |
English | Angry have gone from feeling nothing at all to just feeling so angry I want to stop existing so fucking badly but I could never do that to my cats to my friends to my family even if my family doesn't even know the real me I feel guilty and angry and trapped I've felt depressed before due to situation or circumstance But this feeling is entirely different It's so much more than what I used to think was my worst depression I used to no matter how bad it got to be able to push these thoughts aside for my significant other Unfortunately we are long distanced He s been extremely sick with worsening seizures the last week and just gone Seemingly mid-text conversation I haven't heard from him since Thursday Sunday was my birthday Our families are Parents and his dad hates me so if something happened I would never be told Every iMessage goes through every phone call rings entirely then goes to voicemail I check obituaries every day I don't know what to do I'm saving up now for a private investigator But he was really it Now I just feel obligated to be alive It no longer feels like a positive choice I made It just feels like no choice now I really don't know what to do anymore If you read this mess of a post thank you I tried to give what details I can about my thoughts and circumstances but honestly there's just so much I am so lost |
English | Alone Empty so very alone and going to be gone soon |
English | I think I'm going to commit suicide today think I finally am ready to go My family knows I'm suffering They have tried to help, but I know it's useless I'm not going to do it out of spite in fact I feel calm and inner peace Thanks to all who have talked to me, I've met great people on here, and I hope you all live great lives My friends will learn to live without me just like I lived without them All I do is wait to find love when it's just pointless But at least now it'll all end peacefully |
French | null |
French | Pourquoi je me suis réveillé ce matin Pourquoi je ne peux pas mourir dans mon sommeil déjà je suis trop lâche pour me tuer |
French | Seul, nous nous étreignons au revoir à l'aéroport, vous faites votre chemin à votre petit ami qui vous attend à l'étage, et je monte dans mon taxi, je suis vide, je vais rentrer à la maison, je vais casser vos sacs et je vais renverser le balcon, je vais aller à votre maman et votre petit ami, je vais trébucher dans ma maison, je vais aller à la maison. |
English | My mother is psychologically abusive I have a post on r advice from about a month ago if you want to see more details click on my account IDK I have so much to live for and everyone says I'm smart, and I have a decent amount of friends She just makes me feel horrible I don't know if I want to hurt myself I'm scared of not waking up tomorrow and I hate the thought of dying, but I just want it to stop |
French | null |
French | Je veux mourir si mal, je veux mourir si mal, mais je ne vais pas me suicider toute ma vie, j'ai ressenti de la douleur, ma jeunesse était assez merde, j'ai toujours eu peur quand j'étais à la maison de mes pères, je pensais que je pourrais avoir à tuer mon père un jour pour protéger mon petit frère, j'ai toujours essayé d'être heureux, mais je ne peux plus prétendre. |
French | null |
English | I really need some help little context for anyone who gives a shit enough to read this I'm a year-old female in foster care I m in hospital all the time and I missed the last two weeks of high school and I think all of my friends don't care about me and have forgotten about me, They had a big movie night sleepover with everyone but me even though I m out of hospital now, and they all think I'm well they never talk to me and when I try to reach out to them, they always brush me off I've taken to staying in my room all day except to go to the restroom and grab snack and drink supplies to keep me going when everyone is out, but I hardly ever eat or drink anything but chips and risen I cry myself to sleep most nights and the only person willing to listen to me and be nice to me is a very toxic guy that I'm pretty sure stalked me when I was in high school I think about wanting to kill myself almost all the time and I'm working on excuses to get me out of going to see my parents and going to the college open day next week Nobody cares about me and I just want to not wake up from one of my many daily naps Please can somebody help me |
English | I am dissatisfied with my life Since I was a young girl I was suicidal When I was ten I promised myself that if I had not found something to live for by the time I was eighteen I would personally bring an end to it all At the time eight years felt like an eternity Today August the it is three days before my eighteenth birthday I have quit everything I ever commenced I was in theater I quit I was the drummer at my local church I quit I was accepted into two of my dream universities I quit I wrote for my city s newspaper I quit So why not quit life Three days left and all I feel is inescapable dissatisfaction |
English | I'm going to end it tonight I'm sorry Thank you for all the help you've given me here at Suicide Watch |
English | Guys I really need help So please don't make fun of me but I think I really need someone to help me with my feelings at the moment or else I'm really considering killing myself and honestly that thought is crossing my mind everyday now I'm so confused specially when there are a lot of people committing suicide around me these days please help me don't make this hard on me more than it is |
French | Au cours des derniers mois, nous avons eu des rumeurs sur la guerre mondiale Kobe et Gigi Bryant pire mort Australie feux de forêt Une pandémie mondiale causant un virus presque TOUT ce qui arrête la production retardée même avec les émissions de télévision et les jeux vidéo Tous les sports se sont arrêtés et XFL se sont éteints définitivement Aucune foule ne se rassemble comme les fêtes et les mariages Les jours de gloire ne sont pas les nôtres. |
French | null |
French | Je pense que c'est soit la fin de moi ou le tout début donc pendant le trimestre d'automne j'ai juste abandonné à peu près plus fort alors Dame je suis déprimé je viens d'arrêter je ne pouvais pas faire tout ce que je pensais être des façons de me tuer, et ça m'a consumé Bien sûr j'ai échoué tout le trimestre je me suis énervé je me suis énervé je me suis énervé comme si je ne pouvais pas |
English | Apology Thread amp Update Not that I expect most of you to give three shits I have been in a really dark awful mindset as of late I'm snappy I'm jaded I'm angry at the past and most of all I'm angry at myself that I can't fix myself or stop my thoughts from racing I've had a really short fuse as of late Also I've been really closed-minded to a lot of your advice I'm sorry Not that I honestly expect any of you to believe me I have seen and been through hell A lot of pent-up anger and feelings suddenly swelled up to the surface due to the fact this weekend is the year anniversary of two of my closest friends suicides One where the boyfriend of the couple overdosed in my arms years ago is a long time And usually it doesn't bother me But for some reason I've exploded with emotion I've been thinking quite a bit now My rage is all gone and out and I've had a few moments of real clarity Probably fake and bullshit but hey it felt real I don't want to die Not yet John and Jane obviously not their real names on top of my fiancée and other friends took the easy road out They found a permanent solution to a temporary problem I'm going through a temporary problem I have C PTSD and I'm going through it s all happening again stage I really don't have anyone IRL that I can talk to about this stuff Most of the people I've told about everything that happened I've cut off contact with everyone I don't have a relationship very much with my parents or siblings When a lot of this shit started I disconnected from my family It's not their problem or concern so I keep it to myself But keeping it to myself is driving me nuts Right now I don't have a lot to live for I have no job I have no friends or social life any more I can feel the walls closing in on me but this is all just temporary It's just a bump though it feels like Mt Everest stacked on top of each other at the moment in the road I can pull through this I've survived a carjacking I've survived being tied to a bed for days and being used by a drug dealer I've survived episodes of alcohol poisoning I've survived drug overdoses The most recent one being back in March Obviously I'm not going anywhere any time soon If I was I'd already be worm food by now There's a reason why I'm still here I just have no goddamn mother fucking shit clue in fuck what the fuck that is Half the fun of the adventure is traveling to the destination right So Some good things for a change I've contacted my old college s Career Job Placement office I'm setting an appointment in a few days to get my resume written and hopefully find a job soon I'll also be getting tips on how to handle interviews I'm looking for a therapist that will work with people without health insurance No luck so far and my old therapist will not accept uninsured people I'm probably not going to be able to get to talk to one until I get money again but it's worth a shot at least In the meantime I've picked up a hobby that I'll be able to add on my resume I'm using Code Academy to get caught back up on HTML CSS and learn all the new fan dangled nonsense with HTML Jesus I've rambled for entirely way too long TL;DR I'm sorry for being very manic and snapping on quite a lot of you guys that were only trying to help me Regardless of how I acted I did actually listen to you guys Getting in touch with a Career Job Placement Center shopping for a therapist picked up a hobby to try and keep myself doing something productive Thank you to everyone |
French | J'ai vraiment besoin de parler avec quelqu'un s'il vous plaît C'est trop je ne peux plus le supporter |
English | He s bled me dry and won't stop To keep this succinct I am partway through a divorce from my husband and every step of the way he's taking more and more from me financially to the point that I'd have been better off on benefits for my entire working life than having worked so fucking hard for years since I was On a personal level he s taken me to the cleaners because I earned more than him Oh we had exactly the same day rate as both self-employed contractors but throughout our marriage he chose to not actually work and therefore not earn anything but had no problem spending literally hundreds of pounds of my money in a single night getting pissed and trying to fuck strippers And now the company we shared that he put no money into and I left a year ago still needs taxes paying, and I genuinely will be in court and lose my career because he can't pay his share even though I've paid my own because the tax man doesn't give a shit who paid what company still fucking owes I genuinely don't think that it's worth even trying anymore I may as well just pay my wages directly to him and be done with it And still potentially end up on the wrong side of the law After trying so hard in life What's the point I'll lose my house over it this time no doubt I don't even want to fucking try anymore |
English | WTF am I doing held a gun to my head last night I want to die I want to fucking die Tomorrow I have every chance to pull the trigger again I don't think anyone can help me anymore |
English | My first post on Ferdinand it's on this forum or whatever you call it I feel like I'm probably quite a bit older than most of you I'm I have kids but one of them is and goes through suicidal thoughts just as much as I do, and I have my whole life I've had some real shitty things happen in my life such as a lot of sexual abuse at a young age and then the same shit happened to my older daughter by my piece of shit ex-husband oh he got years by the way resulting in a heroin relapse and I've lost everything I've ever owned in the past years so here I am sitting at my moms house going through dope sick after just leaving Chicago now in mid-Missouri I wish I had some fentanyl, so I could just end it all Believe me I have tried to end my life many times I have been in psych ward after psych ward the first time I was when I was I tried times within months why am I still here I was brought back with narc an times Ughgggg I hate my life On the other hand I love my year-old daughter societies much, and I want to be here for her, but I also feel that someone in my family may be able to raise her better than I can since I am such a damaged soul I don't know what to do any more I used to have a happy life once I had a career a beautiful house a nice car I even was going for a masters in social work but that's the past I lost it all and now I'm just a failure and I feel like I will never get it back I just want to go back to Chicago go find me some fentanyl and end it which is not hard believe me no narc an bringing me back this time |
English | Weekends are so dismal Everything seems so good in the week days I have great friends doing well at school met a great girl And then the weekend comes I always hope I'll not happen again But it always does Every time it's the same My stepfather is a dickhead and my mother is an unstable alcoholic The only thing I can hear is shouting and door slamming weeks ago however I heard something none should hear his mother say I want to die And she almost did She took some kind of pills I was concerned obviously But they just moved on pretending that nothing happened And here I am today The same situation She almost did it again The terrifying part is that for a while I wished she would die Maybe it would be better easier without her, I can't function normally with such a family I tried to help Everyone from the family tried Nothing works For how long can I go on like this Monday will come and I'll be hopeful again But it'll not change anything It would be so easy to just give up Would she say what she did if she would love me I feel like a disappointment yet I try so hard |
French | J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années J'ai des années |
French | J'ai un concert à venir le septembre, mais c'est la dernière chose que je tiens vraiment à faire, j'ai l'impression que je le ferai juste après ça. Donc IG pourrait être mes dernières semaines en ce moment. |
French | Je suis pathétique et je me déteste ne veux pas faire cela plus je ne sais pas ce qui ne va pas avec moi ou pourquoi je suis comme ça quand j'étais plus jeune je suis vraiment extraverti et je suis socialement inepte je ne parle à personne ou je sors j'ai refusé toutes les invitations pendant plus d'une décennie donc personne ne veut pas que les gens m'invitent à parler plus je ne réponds pas à mon téléphone |
French | Sans ma mère, je serais partie depuis longtemps Ma seule sœur est décédée récemment Mes amis se sentent comme des étrangers à ce stade Je me sens si seul vivant avec une maladie chronique Je sais que je ne peux pas faire ça à ma mère pour avoir à subir la perte des deux enfants Je sens qu'il serait préférable d'aller dormir et de ne jamais me réveiller |
French | Quelle partie de maintenant est si difficile à comprendre Pourquoi la même chose continue-t-elle à m'arriver |
English | Why does living have to hurt so much can't stop hurting I want to cease to exist I keep making mistakes and fucking up I keep hurting those closest to me, I want to blow my head off, but then it just makes things worse for everyone So I stay alive in constant pain so that others don't have to suffer through any worse pain I wish that there was an accident or that someone would do me the favor of ending me At least the pain wouldn't be as bad as me doing it myself |
French | Je ne sais pas combien de temps je peux continuer, je suis coincé dans cette crise depuis une semaine ou deux, où je ne me sens pas motivé pour faire quoi que ce soit. Je fronce constamment les sourcils et je suis énervé de tout ce qui fait l'expérience de multiples cas très fréquents d'appel. Du vide l'appel du vide et juste rempli de cet horrible sentiment d'effroi et de malaise à tout ce que je me réveille tous les matins. |
English | Does it get better I feel like I'm not even half the person I use to be I use to laugh at the dumbest things I'd give the biggest hugs to people who complimented me struck up conversations with them, I used to feel like this world was dark but there was so much good and now it doesn't really feel like any good matters My mind just feels rotten because of my social anxiety I thought painting again for the first time in a while would help me, but I just looked at what I made and cried I just don't feel like who I use to be, and I hate it I don't like who I am, and I know our lives don't really have a path, but we can create one for ourselves but I just really feel like I have no clue who I am It feels like there's always that option to just stop all of this even when things feel okay Things are bad just end it Things are going okay It won't get any better than this moment end it I ignore all my friends and families phone calls and messages I don't talk to friends for weeks and I just feel like a horrible person which I probably am I try to hang out with them and I try to talk but it's just all hard I want to feel better but it s been this way since October of a couple good times have happened since then, but this really is the longest depression period I've ever had I just feel all over the place and disconnected at the same time It just feels like a cycle and I'm so exhausted of going through it again and again This feels like it's never going to end |
English | I don't want to be here no more but I'm a coward I've been snapping at everyone I know including my therapist I left everyone They fucking take my problems as bullshit so I can just shut up They don't want to help despite what they say If you are gonna keep saying HHH its just real life door the hit then you are a fucking asshole You don't know my fucking problems Things may be easier for you when it isn't for me, It's hard to get up in the morning and do my basic daily shit It's hard to work It's hard to eat It's hard to fucking do anything here Everything I say or do I get fucking screamed at Does anyone at this point care No But here is the stupid problem I'm too much of a wuss to cut myself out of this world I don't want the pain I don't want to see my loved one be sad I don't want the fucking guilt I don't want any of this Yet I don't want to live If I hear anyone and I mean ANYONE say I have it better than them, I'm going ballistic I fucking hate that sentence It makes me want to kill myself more because no one fucking cares Thank you and goodnight |
French | Je vais perdre mon assurance maladie je suis une épave je vois des thérapeutes sur et hors pendant des années pour la dépression et l'anxiété je suis foutue je suis foutue je suis foutue je suis foutue je suis foutue je suis foutue j'ai menti à mes parents à ce sujet jusqu'à ce que la situation me dise que je ne pouvais pas me cacher je suis foutue je suis foutue |
French | Personne ne se soucie vraiment avant que vous l'ayez fait, il peut voir à travers leurs visages mensongers qu'ils ne se soucient pas vraiment Ils font juste semblant de se soucier de moi afin qu'ils puissent se sentir bien dans leur peau pour s'occuper Tout le monde est en réalité égoïste Il n'y a pas de gens gentils Bientôt il n'y a pas de vie non plus Peut-être alors ils se soucieront-ils vraiment pour une fois |
French | Peut-être que c'est parce que je suis hors de mes médicaments et ma dépression est revenue, mais je ne vois pas l'intérêt de vivre Pourquoi essayer si dur seulement de mourir à la fin La vie est si insignifiante Je ne me soucie plus Je ne prends des pilules que pour humoriser les autres Je suis juste ici pour humoriser les autres Je ne sais pas si mon plan réussira Je suppose que cela dépendrait de la distance à laquelle je peux nager |
English | So lost don't know what's happening any more Everything bothers me or makes me feel weird for some reason It's all adding up, and I just want to die so bad I don't know if I want to kill myself or not I can't tell I'm so overwhelmed by all these different things I'm feeling and I can't even decide how bad I want to die I hope something kills me soon so I don't have to do it myself |
French | Est-ce que la coupe des poignets fonctionne? |
English | I thought I was past this I m I've struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts since I was but for the past year and a half things had been a lot better I thought I was past all of it because I finally felt happy and comfortable with myself But these past few weeks I've been in a low place and I feel so weak for it, I m in a long distance relationship and I keep having thoughts about breaking up with my boyfriend Nothing is wrong but I just keep thinking about killing myself and I know it would hurt him worse because I haven't been talking to him about how I feel I have friends at my university but my anxiety has been awful so I always opt out of going to do things with them, I feel like they don't like me and like they think I'm annoying and bitchy I got drunk last night and a bunch of my friends from my dorm building were in my room but when they left I relapsed and hurt myself which I hadn't done in two years I hate myself I feel so worthless My friends went out tonight to celebrate a birthday and I flaked last minute because I had a terrible mood swing but I blamed it on homework I feel like shit for it, I feel like I'm being so selfish and hard to be friends with They keep inviting me to hang out with them but it makes me feel worse because I feel like no one could enjoy being around me when I'm like this I just want it all to be over I live by myself, so I keep thinking about how I could just kill myself, and it could be days before anyone noticed I was missing |
French | null |
English | I'm getting pushed closer and closer I think I don't want to watch the sun rise anymore |
English | I tried to kill myself in the shower but I failed Hi I do not see any reason anymore to stay on this planet I have accomplished nothing I am a year-old girl who has no education no paid job, and I am freaking living in assisted living I tried to cut my arms with a razor but I only managed to get some small cuts I feel like I am a parasite to society living from a welfare payment and I can't do anything I am autistic and it bugs the hell out of me Everything is too much for me, I can't travel too much I can't do more than hour a week voluntary work I can't even have an education a job and a boyfriend like anyone else I see all my old classmates living their dream and I am this worthless piece of shit I cried yesterday a lot and today only got worse I feel like I am no good to anyone I want so bad to hold my mom and let it all out But I don't do that because she will be worried sick about me again I wish I was just normal without this shit I slept bad the last days and I keep forgetting to take care of my pets two rats Sometimes those two are the joy in my day I just don't know what to do suicide seems like a good solution I don't want this shit anymore Sorry to bug you guys with this I just needed it to get of my chest |
English | Sorry if I'm in the wrong spot Just a quick question I suffer from depression and anxiety pretty severely and am thankful for a decent support system I don't want to end my life but sometimes in my really dark nights I yearn to speak with someone anonymous just to get through a really rough few hours or something I'm curious if there is a hotline issue thing akin to the suicide hotline that is for what might be considered a non-emergency relative to someone close to putting themselves in danger I don't necessarily need something immediately but if such a resource exists I would love to have it on deck Again I am sorry if this post does not fit here and will remove it if need be thanked you to everyone and I'm sending my love |
French | J'ai essayé d'obtenir de l'aide pendant des années Rien ne change les listes d'attente du NHS Des évaluations sans fin qui déclenchent et ne soutiennent pas la famille Ex qui m'a dit d'arrêter d'être faible SND en faisant des excuses Je ne sais pas combien de temps je peux continuer à boiter et en espérant que je veux juste que ça se termine Je ne pense pas que c'est irrationnel ou déraisonnable J'ai déjà essayé, mais j'ai juste envie de tirer cette fatalité. |
French | Je ne supporte plus tout ça, je ne peux pas me faire d'amis que je me suis fait et je les aime vraiment, mais ils ne m'aiment plus, l'un d'eux vient de dire, allez vous faire des amis dans la vraie vie et apprenez le sens de la relation humaine, arrêtez de nous déranger, vous perdez vraiment votre temps, pourquoi êtes-vous si obsédé par nous, ça fait mal, je sais que c'est de ma faute. |
French | Est-ce que quelqu'un d'autre a eu des effets positifs avec les benzodiazépines En ce qui concerne la dépression et le désir suicidaire, je ne les recommande pas, mais les benzodiazépines sont bonnes pour moi et m'ont aidé. Et pas dans le regard de tous les médicaments que je fais. |
English | Stupid m not that bright I thought I could be but I'm not I thought I could keep up but I can't I wish I had the words I wish I could fathom into an expression all the things I feel right now I'm not that smart I probably sound stupid just typing this shit out I'm not that clever I wish I could have made it through school like everyone else I can't keep up I wish I could have asked some decent questions at that seminar I felt so proud for attending I couldn't I wish I could go to the museum with my friends and not be so lost as to what each of the abstract sculptures might mean I used to have the words I don't anymore What have I done to myself How did I become so stupid I'm going to cut tonight I'm still good at that |
French | L'idée de blesser ma famille en me tuant me donne envie de le faire encore plus Fuck them Fuck this |
French | J'ai eu la grosse Bertha pointée sous ma mâchoire, j'ai des heures à partir du moment où j'ai posté ceci pour tirer, il semble que personne Je veux dire personne ne veut m'aider à traiter tout cela Tant d'abus et de traitement injuste de mon père m'a fait saisir mon dernier recours Juste poster ceci parce que je veux que les gens sachent ce que je traverse au moins avant de passer. |
English | Lost and too far gone to help myself ve struggled with depression and anxiety for years Recently it s become too much to bear I lost my job in January We lost our apartment in Feb I'm down to my last dollars and have yet to find a job I get several interviews a week No work I'm a failure and I can't provide for my GF the way I use to Worst of all I'm so fucking depressed I can't bring myself to climb out of this hole I'm ready to call it We have been staying with my GF s mother and if I can't afford to pay her rent Friday I'm out And I have fucking dollars My GF will be better off without me, She doesn't need a total fucking waste like me |
French | Je veux que ça se termine mais je ne l'ai pas C'est la semaine de l'enfer que j'ai traversé une longue période d'idées suicidaires douces avant, mais c'est différent C'est ce que je peux seulement décrire comme des vagues de suicide qui s'écrasent C'est comme je suis dans un canoë en pleine mer La plus petite vague renverse mon bateau et les fantômes affamés des profondeurs de la mer me tirent vers le bas avec une vitesse effrayante |
English | I'm letting go I'm finishing it off tomorrow in grabbing my knife going to the darkest alleyway and saying goodbye If one of you ever see one of my family members please tell them that I loved them and always have |
French | Je regarde et je vois cette épidémie de coronavirus, et ça m'excite vraiment, je n'en ai pas peur du tout, j'espère que je l'attrape, j'en rêve, je me tue d'une façon ou d'une autre, j'espère que je ne suis pas seul à penser que je vais continuer à avoir l'air d'un accident et je sais que c'est une chance plus petite pour quelqu'un de mon âge. |
English | Don't know when m debating on living I don't know what I want to do any more I've literally drowned myself in alcohol over the past years in attempts to not wake up any more There has been a lot of sleeping pills and antianxiety meds that have not done the trick my body keeps rejecting that idea My past My now ex aborted our kid not to long ago My friend committed suicide by shooting himself in the head while standing behind me in my living room My family is non-existent I keep telling myself it's okay to let go but there is a constant reminder of a prebuilt fear that continually replays over and over I lock myself up in my apartment and can't go outside in attempts to block out anything bad from happening the suicide has a large part of this I can't let anyone over just based on fear of another committing suicide It's the fear of where we go I'm not religious but not sure of the whole afterlife thing Reddit in my time of fear I come to you asking for help I've seen all the doctors meds therapy but nothing has opened up my view of this perpetual state of mind I ask of you opinions help I keep replaying the quote I'm ready to die and nobody can save me in my head over and over I'm a year-old male and I would like help Please help I'm so tired of feeling |
English | I'm just so exhausted and can't deal with myself anymore a student and have to give in my bachelor s thesis on Tuesday So far its almost finished but the thing is I never registered it with my student s office so I won't really can get it marked I feel so ashamed of myself that I can't take care of the simplest responsibilities and I can't bring myself over to tell anyone The last few weeks I just continued as nothing was wrong I lied to the people around me and myself I've already failed the first attempt on my thesis and am so afraid to admit that I've failed another time because of the stupidest reason imaginable I struggle with depression for some time now and this situation is just making me so suicidal again I started cutting again and I just don't want to deal with my stupid self any more I don't really want to tell anyone because none will understand why I did what I did I don't really know myself I'm dreading Tuesday because I have to tell people the reason I failed again and I'd rather just die before that day It sounds so stupid when I'm typing it out but I just can't take it anymore how I'm manipulating myself the whole time and cant get anything done in order to advance in life I'm too much a coward to deal with this situation and I just wanna fall asleep and never wake up again |
English | I've lost hope m an embarrassment to my parents I have failed time and time again my mom told me she doesn't even want her worst enemy to have a son like me My life is a joke my depression is a joke I have been loveless and lonely my entire years of life I m gonna KMS soon hopefully If I get a job I can become independent |
English | I am planning to kill myself soon have left a note in my desk I'm going to do it soon but don't know when exactly It'll be a day when I feel especially alone |
English | Why do you hate me My life has been nothing Just going through it, I feel like everyone hates me I'm a bother to everyone just by being alive I want to die but It's hard to kill myself I don't know what I'm doing here I hate myself who I am I'm a good liar and I fake things about myself to others to make it seem like I'm better than what I am I thought I found someone who loved me for whom I was but love doesn't exist Why can't I just be dead |
English | I am unsubscribing from this sub wanted to stay subscribed, so I could occasionally help people out but constantly seeing people post about being suicidal and wanting to kill themselves reminds me too much of my own struggles, and it puts me in a bad mood I'm sorry and thank you all you lovely people who help people keep the will to live One of you saved my life u Yuri probably doesn't know, but they seriously saved my life thank you |
French | null |
English | I can't go on any longer m so sick of this so fucking sick of this I actually hated my therapist and forced myself to see her because I'd get my medication and let it do its job Stopped seeing her I'll take someone else She was cold, and I felt like she really didn't give a fuck I'll call my family doctor to see if he can prescribe me some stuff because I had to stop my treatment Ran out of pills So many bottled up feelings inside of me I want to put them out ALL of them I feel like I'm falling apart day by day my creativity is blocked despite having plenty of ideas I just can't get to do them I can't confess to my best friend because I'm afraid I might lose her friendship especially since she s got a boyfriend I left many of my old friends because those assholes left me right when I needed them and despite talking it out with them, I can't fucking go back to them like I used to I met new people but I can't get myself to truly go towards them, I don't want this any more I don't want to trust people and have them care more about the death of a fucking idol than about their depressed friend The true reason why I'm currently seeing family is that I don't want to be alone I'm afraid I might do something stupid if I stay in my dorm room I just want someone to hold me and tell me it's okay Let me cry in their arms Listen to me, I can't show this part of myself to people because depressed people like me become a huge pressure They usually leave right after One of my friends did and it was the last time I came close to suicide I'm sick in the head I'm shattered inside I feel things I have no right to feel I'm a mess A fucking mess |
French | Tu sais que je regarde en arrière sur la vie Toutes les années que je me souviens ou pense que je me souviens et je ne sais vraiment pas qui est mal cette personne est je ne sais pas vraiment qui je suis et je n'ai jamais su qui je veux être Je me perds tout mon esprit sur la réalité a été lentement disparaître ce que j'ai perdu l'intérêt que j'ai fini par m'arrêter Je suis déprimée je ne vois pas pourquoi je vivrais |
French | Jamais assez simple et doux Je sais que B P D est la faute de beaucoup Pas ce soir Mon meilleur ne suffira jamais Je suis trop poulet merde pour faire quoi que ce soit Je suis mort une fois qu'un putain de camionneur m'a sauvé Je souhaite que je suis mort alors je souhaite avoir le courage de le faire à nouveau Je ne peux pas risquer une autre semaine dans un hôpital si je baise mourir C'est la seule raison pour laquelle je suis encore ici |
English | I think the only reason I haven't yet is family and fear I'm scared of what's after this I m Christian although I also intend on being on the right side of history if you get what I mean but that down t stop the fear And I know it would absolutely history my parents Sometimes I wish I didn't have anyone who cared about me, so I didn't disappoint them |
English | How long to get over a breakup being dumped I was curious how long it takes people to get over the initial breakup stage which for me has me wanting to not exist these are not thoughts I've ever had before I'm not sure how serious they are, but I don't want to exist be around anymore and cannot stop thinking about it For context everything was okay in relationship no fights etc. very close but he said he doesn't think we are right for each other The breakup was yesterday I've never been dumped before only had a couple of relationships and they just sort of dissolved mutually over a period of time no one got dumped so I don't know how bad people usually feel Has anyone been dumped and had the same feeling a very resolute certainty that they want to die but then stopped wanting to kill themselves after a certain period of time and how long did it take Thank you |
French | J'ai vraiment envie d'essayer, mais j'ai trop peur que tout sera magiquement mieux comme je me poignarde Pendant les derniers mois j'ai juste été dans oh merde je vais mourir mode j'ai été faire tout ce que je peux me rendre compte positivement mon humeur même si c'est seulement pour un peu de temps mes parents sont confus quant à savoir pourquoi j'ai pu m'arrêter je peux même les faire |
French | Si quelqu'un a le temps d'écouter un enregistrement, j'ai besoin d'un conseil HTTPS clip it a TJJ token eye AF a DC c d bc a c |
English | Nowhere else to turn right now First off these are just thoughts They come and often go but the last few days have been rough maybe it s cause my birthday passed Maybe because I've been giving into a desire to be nothing but an object of pleasure Suicide has been around for a while in my life The last attempt was a few years ago and it really fucked me up My family doesn't know about it Since then I think about what pain my death would cause my mom It helps because I don't want to hurt her I live because I love her but after she s gone I'm not sure yet Tonight I'm thinking about what I'll be leaving behind Who I'll be remembered as Thing is I m at peace with what I think they'd say I try to be a good person Being told I was a narcissist by a professional changed my life completely that way I no longer just think I'm a good person I try to be Because I want to be one Those closest to me know this about me and they know I've come a long way I'd be weak in their eyes but I am There's so much I could have done but I don't think I'll ever be able to I've talked friends down from their darkest moments tried to give them advice I've learned for living a better life but in the end wasn't strong enough I m at peace with them able to think these things I m at peace with it as long as the pa I'm not planning anything yet but I know these are dangerous thoughts to have building up inside my head Decided it was good to post it even if this is just a burner account |
English | I'm killing myself on my birthday is this coming Saturday September the I'm killing myself when the sun sets I don't want people to celebrate my life I hate my life I can't do this any more I'm sorry dad I'm sorry mom I'm sorry siblings even though some of you aren't old enough to realize what this means I'm sorry Matt I'm sorry Run I'm sorry Ethan I'm sorry Aidan I'm sorry Brandon I'm sorry James I'm sorry Evelyn I'm sorry Damian I don't know how to do this any more Everything over the past few months has destroyed me even more than I was before I'm sorry for being a burden For everyone I didn't mention I'm sorry I wish I wasn't like this I wish I was more capable I wish I wasn't a failure at For anyone who reads this post please make the most of your life I didn't I'm sorry |
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