language
stringclasses 2
values | text
stringlengths 4
22.6k
⌀ |
|---|---|
French | J'ai quitté mon travail de merde avec un autre travail de merde aligné en février honnêtement, ne vous souciez pas si le prochain est aussi de la merde. Je veux juste prendre un mois de vacances avant le prochain travail de merde. |
English | Help |
French | Je ne veux pas être un whynny mais je ne peux pas l'accepter plus Tout d'abord mes excuses pour l'écriture pauvre depuis que l'anglais n'est pas ma première langue je veux écrire autant compréhensible que je peux, je suis vieux de l'année je suis venu en Australie je suis gentil je suis devenu introverti et j'ai perdu mon emploi je suis considéré comme un emploi trop proche je suis devenu un emploi j'ai été plus longtemps |
English | No one actually cares if you are fine If you like fine people will not care if you are not fine from the inside anyway What's the point |
English | I need someone to talk to This is a second account because I am too embarrassed to post this on my normal one I really don't feel like typing out my Sob story out for everyone It just I don't know who to talk to and I'm feeling really low right now and would appreciate an ear Basis of my story is I lost someone important in my life Now I really don't know what to do I v become numb And for the first time in my life I rather be Dead then go through this pain Thank you so much to anyone willing to help me out and I apologize in advance for taking up your time with my useless problems I just need someone right now |
English | Sometimes I joke about suicide and I'm not sure if I m serious haven't been suicidal in a real serious planning sense for over years but there's always that low level feeling and I deny it's there a lot, but I don't know sometimes does everyone low-key hate their life is that supposed to be normal because it seems like when I'm not happy about something specific that's how I feel every time I make a mistake or someone calls me a name that's how I feel the way I got out of it years ago was to stay for other people think of my mom think of her crying I don't want to do that, and it keeps me from daring to even think of anything planning phase anymore but I'm not staying here for me, I hope my mom lives to a ancient age, and we never have a falling out or I'll be gone |
English | Grey Life is gray I remember a time when I used to see color I remember a time when I felt involved I remember a time when I could see a big plot in my head about how my life was going to go I remember when life seemed like a bright opportunity to me But as I grew older I came to realize that life is entirely pointless There is nothing I wish to accomplish I don't even want to survive I don't want to work I don't want to go to school I don't want friends I don't want partners I want to disappear from the rest of society like a ghost and just do what I wilt no more hunger no more fatigue no more authority There are some things I enjoy in my life I maintain a very active lifestyle and eat well I love rapping exercise and spearfishing That's it That's where my ambitions end I don't think I could ever make music my career because I don't want to go to school which you have to do if you really want to work with the technical side of music I write and write and sing and sing day in and day out another bar and another beer and another freestyle But it's going nowhere I'm so poor I don't even know how to get anywhere with my music I have nothing to record it I don't know many other musicians I struggle to make friendships all I do is wander the streets of my little beach town getting drunk with the hobos and rapping People always love my stuff which always makes my day a little better But it doesn't pay the bills so why does it matter anyway money is the only thing of true value in the eyes of the human Unfortunately the majority of waking human life is a treacherous worthless fucking lie where you slave away to no end till you wind up dead like everyone else anyway No big party Life is not fun Human life is a miserable fucking struggle born out of an omnivorous ape growing too smart for its own good Life is not meant to be enjoyed it s made to be fought against till it inevitably defeats you in one way or another Maybe it defeats you with a bus or cardiac arrest or a fucking plane crash At least that d be more exciting than pathetically slitting my own wrists in a public bathroom so my mom doesn't have to find my dead body I m and I'm watching from the sidelines as my peers get married go to school move out enjoy their pointless lives somehow I'm just resigned to my tiny corner of life alone and having no place in this void I watch them and know in my heart I'll never catch up I'm never fucking will I was not born to survive this cycle I was born with a broken mind and a weak soul I try to express myself through music and poetry and it does help but it realistically gets me nowhere in this life other than impressing girls and wowing people sometimes I have no ambition I have no clear-cut path to follow, so I just wander into nothingness and twiddle my thumbs hoping something pops up from out of the fog of life It's a very hopeless feeling Love is the same thing every time you feel it the circumstances just change Hatred is the same thing every time you feel it the level of intensity just changes based on your perception I feel like after experiencing all the basic human emotions I've run my course I've had years to observe how this all works and I'm formally opting out of it before the next cycle starts worse and more intense than the last cycles I've run through I'm weary and sick of repeating myself like I'm stuck on a loop making the same mistakes burning my bridges anytime I build them lying around because it doesn't feel like there s anything better to do This life is boring and then hard and then more boring Fuck this shit I'm out |
English | I have so much problems Hello I have years depression and I don't know it anymore I'm drowning in sadness I don't know shat I feel |
English | I've accepted I will die soon don't fit into society few will miss me I just don't contribute man |
English | Today was supposed to be a good day and I somehow still fucked it UPI did so much more today than I have done in the past month activities that are supposed to be fun But I still felt like shit the entire way through and just ruined the mood for everyone around me, I feel so guilty because I have so many things to get done, and yet I tried to do something that was supposed to make me feel better for once but somehow fucked it up and still felt terrible I probably should have never tried to begin with Why am I even still trying at all I just want to disappear |
English | How I wish how I wish I feel like I fell into a hole And at first it was nothing to worry about it was fun exploring that hole I dug tun ells in that hole Creating a maze of it own And before I realized it I was trapped in there For years I was trying to find way out And when I did, I expected same old world on the outside World I used to know World I used to enjoy in Needless to say It wasn't I was uncomfortable I hated every damn second of that world I jumped back in same damn hole Far away from any expectation far away from any responsibility Far away from happiness I was once again trapped in nothingness but this time knowing that out there is not better at all I'm hopeless And If not today my days are numbered Oh how I wish I never wake up again |
French | null |
English | What would your last meal or drink be What would be your last meal or drink Would you go all out and Seymour every bite or would you go cheap as possible to leave more money behind |
English | I see no reason why I shouldn't kill myself m a bad person I'm a pathetic person I have no goals no ambition no confidence no friends never had a relationship I hurt people I hurt people I love I'm a complete and utter failure in every aspect of my life I suck at my hobbies I get angry too quickly I can't get out of my bad habits And worst of all is I don't want to get better I just want to die This world is sick I don't want to exist in it any longer If it weren't for my parents I'd just travel the country aimlessly until I get killed or kill myself I'm a nobody and there's no goddamn point to any of it I wish I'd just have an aneurysm |
English | it's my birthday everyone forgot even my boyfriend |
French | camarade de classe de l'année dernière s'est suicidé ami à moi qui a obtenu son diplôme de mon lycée l'année dernière s'est suicidé en sautant hors de sa fenêtre de dortoir deux étudiants étaient apparemment là quand il l'a fait je suis flippant je suis dehors parce que je veux savoir pourquoi ils étaient là comment il était ivre je suis vraiment désolé je suis désolé je suis désolé je suis désolé je suis désolé je suis désolé |
English | Vent White hot anger to sadness depression to trying to forget myself with alcohol to sleeping to waking up and instantly wanting to die to sadness to white-hot anger to guilt about having feelings and every bad thing I've done My life is just defined by this now |
French | null |
English | I need help how does one make their mind stop over thinking |
English | I don't really care if it would get better or not I don't like living, and I just want to die Life is so fucking pointless It's not even funny any more I can have these good days when I feel nothing but being neutral or have these bad days when all I can think of is how lonely I am and how much of a piece of shit I actually am but never anything else Once in a blue moon I'll have these amazing days when I'm genuinely happy, but I know for a fact that that will mean that the next day or the day after that I'll feel like fucking shit again It doesn't matter if I'm dead or not The people around me probably wouldn't really notice or at least get used to me not being there within a matter of days It's not like I have friends to hang out with A few I text with but I'm pretty sure that they wouldn't really care if I just stopped responding Its pointless I'm only here so I won't hurt my parents There's nothing left to live for The only thing really keeping me from killing myself is the idea of my parents hearing about my suicide To be honest it kinda sucks I just wish I could just leave without saying a word and not feel guilty about it My life has just turned into a waiting game until I'm either old enough to kill myself without having that much of an impact on my parents or until they're both dead or don't recognize me |
French | Mon ami a peut-être l'intention de se suicider dans quelques années Salut tout le monde et je vous remercie tous d'avance pour avoir lu mon post Moi et mon copain je suis très amis proches mais depuis un certain temps il a montré des indices pour mettre fin à sa vie Il avait été gravement malade quand il était jeune et bien que le médecin à l'époque ait sauvé sa vie, il souffre de restes, il a commencé à lire. |
French | Juste un autre titre, je ne suis pas bon aux titres et c'est mon premier post sur ici donc je suis désolé si je gâcher Quoi qu'il en soit je suis ici parce que je veux me suicider je n'ai pas d'espoir pour mon avenir j'ai à peu près renoncé à vivre à M j'ai parlé à mon médecin de ne pas être triste de lui dire que j'ai des pensées suicidaires j'ai pas de problèmes |
English | Sexual assault survivor trying to do normal I don't know what normal is any more I feel as though I'm closed in this set of choices that I'm running meaninglessly towards like a horse with blinders I've tried taking therapy Counseling I've been prescribed countless medicines The flashbacks won't stop My attacker was a good friend of mine One I never thought to be capable of such horrid things Now I am trying to restart my life I m in a relationship and I have a great job But it's so hard to feel good I can't feel happiness and I don't think I'll ever be able to love anyone again I feel trapped Yesterday I got into an argument with my boyfriend and I tried overdosing I failed I want to think of reasons to stay alive but I keep coming short My family hates me All my friends are away My attacker got away with everything My fears got me to the point where I couldn't even graduate university I feel like I've lost all-purpose |
English | I would never kill myself but I have suicidal thoughts constantly How do I make them stop The woman I m in Love with left me almost months ago now and I'm still extremely messed up over it Most of the time I can fake being fine well enough that I believe it myself but some days I just can't do anything I have a few things that make me feel better but almost regardless of how I feel I see ways I could kill myself constantly and it's always something burning away in the back of my mind On bad days sometimes as the train I take to class approaches I find myself imagining how easy it would be to just take a big step forward and be done with dealing with everything on a very bad day sometimes I see it happen in my head very vividly But as much as I feel ignored by people around me, I also think of the people who would miss me and the fact that even though some things are really shitty right now I have good things going for me, I don't think I would ever actually be able to do it thanks to that But I still have these thoughts all the time, and it scares me Does anyone have any advice to help stop this |
English | I feel like my life peaked a long time ago, and I don't really see a reason to keep going My life peaked when I was years old sure I was getting bullied in school, but I had friends that I'd play Lego Star Wars with on the weekends I have a hard time making friends nowadays due to my social ineptitude and that I'm afraid to bother other people It's also because I'm overweight and not athletic I also have a hard time trusting people because the last person I thought was my friend just talked to me to con me out of steam games I just get tired whenever I think of my future I won't make any friends and I'll therefore live in solitude I'll work grueling hours at a job I'm not passionate about only to leave barely no time for things I'm actually passionate about Life is already not fun and it's not going to get any better I've wanted to kill myself for a while but the only reason I haven't yet is that it would break my mum and dad which are the only people that care about me in this world |
English | Should be dead I should be dead now I am currently cutting myself and don't want to stop I can't control my body I am male and live with the parents who are currently divorcing I have no friends No girlfriend Nothing I am alone in this cold empty room I don't want to wake up in the morning |
French | Ma mère vient de me dire qu'elle ne se soucierait pas si je mourais, je me sens de la même façon que je suis en surpoids, mais quand j'essaie de perdre du poids, je rechute parfois aussi vite que quelques heures, je n'ai aucun talent ou quoi que ce soit d'intéressant à propos de moi. |
French | Je vois la cruauté humaine voir continuellement émerger, et c'est juste beaucoup pour moi Surtout au fil des ans et des gens à proximité, je vis dans le monde occidental et un pays riche, et pourtant j'ai vu et expérimenté tant de cruauté de ces gens bien nourris de tous les jours pourraient être des gens insouciants que je ne veux plus être ici. |
English | People only care so much Anyone else ever had this problem I've been here awhile on my main and it s been nice seeing how much some people care but when I try to open up to people in person I can't help but think that guilt is their only motivating factor Ultimately it's all about them Even the people I trust the most start to fall away whenever the smallest things in their life pop up and though I always try to be understanding and forgiving it just makes it hurt even more I say stuff like Of course focus on your physics test if you're stressed about it always leaving out the second part Your physics test is really worth more to you than my life You know I'm suicidal but you choose to cut off contact for a week anyway Almost all of my friends are snakes that only use me as an asset My intelligence is the only good thing about me and it's not even above average they're just kind of dumb and I often end up staying way too late trying to help others with their HW sometimes doing it for them Outside that they make up excuses for not wanting to hang out with or help me I'm not the only one either A genuine friend of mine was dealing with depression last year and they all concluded that he was immature for needing help like it was his fault or something I don't know how much of this I can take I'm doing well academically and I do volunteer research etc. My life should be heading towards the right direction but I feel like it's all pointless I'm just going through the motions because it's what I should be doing not what I want to do My family the entirety of which has hated me my entire life expects me to succeed, so I can start sending in money I just feel so alone Nobody understands or cares and those that have a small idea of what's going on immediately put themselves on the moral high ground It's sickening I've marked a death date on my calendar but it s months in the future I don't know why I gave myself so much time but I think some part of me stupidly hopes that things will get better even as everyone continually demonstrates their selfishness again and again |
French | Et dans un fossé M et j'ai envisagé de me suicider ces dernières semaines, j'ai des amis à l'école, mais quand je rentre à la maison, personne ne veut sortir ou même envoyer un texto avec moi, je les vois partout discuter et passer un bon moment sur les réseaux sociaux, et ça me fait vraiment chier. mes parents me crient dessus, s'il vous plaît, c'est un cycle que je ne peux pas briser, je ne veux rien au monde. |
English | My year-old daughter s friend m has said that he's suicidal He refuses to call the Suicide Hotline any other kind of professional help or tell his parents Hi there I'll make a quick list rather than wall of text The kid apparently doesn't have a good home life or a good relationship with his parents This is obviously hurting my daughter and she is far and away my primary concern I encouraged her to call the Suicide Hotline on his behalf They tasked her with asking details of his plan IMO this should not be something that an expert task a personally involved year old to do Getting non counselors to act like counselors can do more harm than good My way of talking about things involves objective reality perhaps tough love this is the most selfish thing you can do etc. According to the info from the sidebar this is the exact opposite of optimal I can accept that as I'm not a trained counselor and don't know what I'm doing here That said neither is nor does my year-old daughter who's empathetic and caring But the advice I've given her sounds a lot more like tough love than the advice given in the sidebar What I want to do is track down the kid s parents and tell them Force the issue Perhaps call for a health check if nothing is done My daughter bless her heart is and has always hated the idea of going to parents teachers etc. with problems I explained that being a friend isn't always making your friends feel better it's actually helping them Don't make a person feel better while drowning call the lifeguard whether they want to be embarrassed Anyway please help I'm mentally tough and deal well with cold hard information Please do not give me lesser advice to spare my feelings I'm interested in solving the issue if at all possible To me that means if you can't get the kid to call for help you call it for them Thanks |
English | Realized today that getting back to normal wasn't normal I went through divorce recently lost my wife kids and really nothing physical such as houses or furniture I got so low It was a new low that I thought I couldn't reach I've tried to kill myself once before by overdosing on random meds from the medicine cabinet didn't work obviously Saved me rather easily Managed to lie well enough that they didn't rule me as suicidal I've always felt this way Sometimes it just gets to the point of finally acting on it What a life I envy people who are depressed for a reason Because I am not I don't know why I'm so damn sad and dead inside I just don't know God I just hate it I actually get to the point where I wish people who loved me would die, so I could die too Them feeling incredible sadness is something that stops me a lot I mean it's selfish to keep me here like this I just don't want to be Therapy meds all that bull it doesn't help just numbs me up guess it works tho hard to slit my dumb wrists when I can't think straight I just want to be gone of this stupid world Such bull how everyone else is running through life so happy yea I post here hoping someone will someday somehow change my mind and help friends family strangers nothing seems to help gotta try everything If I survived twice then maybe I will find comfort someday |
French | Est-ce que je vais vraiment laisser mes parents élever un enfant pendant des années l'aimer dépenser inconditionnellement des milliers de dollars pour lui seulement pour que cet enfant meure dans leur sous-sol parce qu'il n'aime pas la façon dont la merde se passe en ce moment Peut-être |
French | C'est parce que ma mère m'a maltraitée et négligée que j'étais aussi distante à l'école et que j'étais physiquement harcelée parce que je ne trouve pas d'excuses pour mon manque de contributions à la société. En fait, j'aime reconnaître que je ne prends plus de place sur cette terre. |
French | Voici la version super courte Hey, donc je divorce après de nombreuses années, j'ai fait tout ce que je pouvais pour garder le mariage va Elle est partie Je suis allé de tout à rien J'ai trahi dans tous les sens Je suis allé de ne pas travailler en raison de problèmes de santé à maintenant travailler des heures par semaine juste pour obtenir par Elle est dans une nouvelle relation Je suis tellement dévasté que je ne peux pas dormir ou manger Je n'ai pas mieux dormi |
English | Ive learned not to talk about it any time I've tried to vent to a friend about being suicidal they've reported me to the school so no wive learned that I just can't trust anyone in real life enough to talk to them, I just feel so lonely and i don't know what to do venting online isn't enough |
English | Lack of jealousy few weeks ago I decided to starve myself to death That lasted about a week It turns out starving yourself is much, much more painful than slitting wrists or a gunshot to the head anyway I said that I had been robbed of whatever it was that drove people due to my father having died and my mother being two clicks short of a psycho maybe one click short anyway after years of intensive taken I know what was missing I've never been jealous of anyone I m and have lived my entire life without jealousy It was suppressed every day I practice taken it becomes slightly clearer to me what exactly is wrong with me, I'm not sure how that sounds to people but imagine living your whole life without jealousy of other people everyone I know likes me for sure but it puts me in an absolutely horrendous position Without jealousy it's hard to want to be like someone or not be like someone it's hard to like this kind of music and not that kind of music Jealousy of other people is to a large extent what we base our entire identities on and I've never had that not from before I can remember how exactly am I supposed to start now in my mid-twenties This life just seems like a lost cause |
English | can't see myself living in the next few months don't want to take my own life as it'll cause extreme misery to my family parents in particular but I also cannot imagine living through the next few months much fewer years I hate thinking this way, but sometimes I just wished I could be knocked down by a car or contract a life-threatening illness basically cease to exist I feel as if I'm a failed person adult who never really grew up or matured as everyone else did I'm way behind my peers in terms of career socializing and life in general I lack confidence in everything I do even in simple basic things I don't understand how this life works, and I feel like I never will And I know that it won't make a difference to the world if I wasn't here anyway their lives would probably be better off without the burden and trouble that is me |
English | I'm finished writing out paragraphs of my problems it's obvious none of it is going to be resolved by doing that I need to end this before my sister passes away That way when it happens I will already be gone |
English | A lot is going right but I still hate myself accidentally deleted my original post I was writing here which is probably for the best because it was even longer and more rambling than this one Now that I got the original cathartic one out I can focus I try to stay optimistic but it's hard to stay in that mindset because I am constantly afraid, and it never stops no matter what I do It's gradually been made worse by the fact that my ex best friend of years became increasingly abusive especially toward the end and I had to escape the living space we shared but I realized I needed to leave her when I was and I couldn't physically leave until I was because of the lease years is almost half my life so I'm trying to relearn how relationships are supposed to work and I'm experiencing a lot of grief over the loss of what had long been my closest non-familial relationship She emotionally tortured me and now I'm afraid of every close relationship in ways I've never experienced before I keep getting the urge to run from everyone who loves me because she loved me I've been considering suicide for a lot of my life and now that I live alone it's very feasible It feels selfish and weird to be considering suicide right now because so much is going right I'm finally free from her and my art is going well and my job while exhausting is finally enough to pay for me to live alone Yet I can't escape the feeling that I'm trapped I feel as though I'm broken I understand that there is evidence that I'm good and intelligent but I can't stop feeling as though I'm a stupid failure idiot and what good is evidence in this situation if I can't make my feelings match up to it no matter how hard I try My job is fine but it's exhausting I try to be brave the whole time I'm there because I'm very frightened the whole time and they all say I do a very good job at my work but no matter how hard I work I can never escape the feeling that I'll never be good enough at my job and I'll never be good enough for myself I also can't stop feeling like they all hate me even though there's no evidence to suggest this I'm ruined and broken, and I don't belong anywhere I'm trying to stay positive but it's hard when every time I feel happy I feel guilty for enjoying something I'm wondering if early would be a good time to end it I m in emotional agony I don't belong anywhere I'll never belong anywhere All I can think is that I don't belong anywhere even when I try to convince myself otherwise I keep going back and forth between trying to keep living and coming up with a plan for how I'd kill myself I think I know how I'd do it and I think possibly February would be good because that way I wouldn't be sitting through a Valentine s Day when I'm scared the whole time of the close relationship with my boyfriend that Valentine s Day celebrates Also it wouldn't be tax month yet so I wouldn't need to confront the edition of my being bad at doing taxes every year Anyway I'm falling asleep now but I just needed to get this out first because in my day-to-day life I'm afraid to say I'm suicidal I feel like I've been in this depressive episode for ages I don't feel safe talking to my loved ones about it any more I hate myself and I'll never belong anywhere |
English | Held a knife to my wrist today I was making some food and when I grabbed a knife out of my drawer I got an urge to use it on myself I pressed it to my wrist I almost slit my wrists there and then with my parents just a few rooms away somebody help |
English | I wish no one cared about me want nothing more than to kill myself But I couldn't do that to my family If my mom died today I'd do it in a second I don't know how long I can go on living for others we'll see how things are by my birthday probably the fucking same |
French | J'ai échoué à nouveau Je suis de retour J'ai le même sentiment écrasant de solitude J'ai peur de la haine de soi et des pensées suicidaires Au collège J'ai essayé de me pendre deux fois à l'école J'ai trouvé mon père Je suis prêt à mourir Je suis prêt à mourir Je suis prêt à mourir Je suis prêt à mourir Je suis prêt à mourir Je suis prêt à mourir Je suis prêt à mourir Je suis prêt à mourir |
English | What do I do when I just can't push any more I'm tired I'm just so fucking tired of fighting all the time Everyday it's a struggle a battle to keep moving to keep breathing I'm not even living for myself not really hell I haven't been living for myself since I became Everything I've done is because that's what's expected of me or what I'm supposed to do or what a good son does, or a good brother do I just want to die but I'm not allowed Isn't that just the fucking funniest thing I'm not allowed to die because that's not what I'm supposed to do I'm supposed to live because that would make my family happy me living I'm supposed to take care of people because that's what a strong man s supposed to do right Doesn't matter if my mind s breaking every second doesn't matter if I have to press hot metal to my skin just to feel enough pain to remind myself that I'm still alive Doesn't matter that every damn day blends together into one seeming mess of bullshit I want to die I want oblivion I want the peace that was promised to me, I want to be alone in the darkness I want nothingness I want the voices to stop I want the pain to stop I want everything to fucking stop because I've had enough I want to die But I'm not allowed I can't be selfish I have to be good Everyone else can be selfish everyone else can want what they want but not me I'm not allowed Why can't I die Why can't this end I'm tired of hurting I'm tired of fighting I'm tired I'm tired Please someone anyone help me Tell me what to do Tell me what I'm supposed to do I just want it to stop I didn't ask to live I didn't demand this I don't want it anymore WHY CAN'T I BE ALLOWED TO DIE I just want to stop hurting how do I make it stop please anyone how do I make it stop |
English | People tell me I look disabled When I used to go on Facebook I made my account public and someone commented that I was retarded and a span constantly I thought my disability was invisible I just want to be one of those beautiful autistic people who doesn't look disabled in pictures I want to be told but there's nothing wrong with you when I tell them I'm autistic but instead I have people pointing out that I do look disabled before I mention that I am Having a visible disability is embarrassing, and I never want to leave the house again Especially since most high functioning autistic girls look LESS disabled than neurotypical girls, and I am on the low functioning end disappointed how I could have ended up modelling if my autism was mild I have never been told that I don't look disabled My disability is VISIBLE I literally have a different face and body shape On top of that my grammar is so poor and my IQ is so low that even if I had the body shape of a mildly autistic woman I would still get called retard if they talked to me, I don't have the empathy to understand why people are upset about people telling them they don't look disabled It's a COMPLIMENT to me, It's telling me that I am normal looking, and I am not retarded Honestly why do people want to be told they look disabled I d rather just be told that I am too beautiful and intelligent to be disabled and not get any help whatsoever than be called retarded Sorry for the disgusting narcissistic rant I am unable to feel empathy and I would rather be dead than people recognizing I am disabled just by looking at me Sorry for the terrible English I have low functioning autism |
English | What is life Is there a point to life Seriously ask yourself why Why are we here Something that every single person has in common is that we will all die Everything you worked for all the money you had will not matter The people you left behind will be dead sometime too Eventually the earth will die and not be able to sustain life of any kind A giant ball of black nothingness That will be the earth in the future whether you like it or not At this point nothing that we could ever do will ever matter unless we can make ourselves mortal which is impossible What is the point of anything Nothing matters and nobody can do anything about it |
French | Je ne peux pas naïf, je suis de retour ici, je n'ai jamais pensé que je posterais ici à nouveau, je suis une épave, je viens de m'en prendre à mon fiancé et je ne me rends pas compte que je le fais depuis des mois, je suis déjà sur l'humeur, je suis stabilisateur, je suis fou amoureux, pourquoi je suis comme ça, je ne peux pas contrôler ma forêt, pourquoi je ne peux pas m'empêcher, je ne peux pas |
French | Les mots gentils que j'avais l'habitude de dire sont ennuyants maintenant rappelez-vous d'essayer tout ce que je pouvais pour aider mes amis suicidaires et je dirais pense à votre famille ou j'en ai marre de vous bro Maintenant les positions sont changées et il y a des gens qui disent certaines des meilleures choses que j'ai entendues quand il s'agit de parler anti-suicide, mais ça n'a pas d'importance. |
French | Je suis mentalement et physiquement incapable de travailler et j'ai besoin de mourir Je suis un fardeau pour tout le monde dans ma vie Je stresse mes proches avec mes plaintes et ma paranoïa et mon incapacité à effectuer des tâches de base ou un travail Je ne veux pas être un fardeau Je veux juste que cela finisse et dès que je trouve un moyen de m'oublier Je ne peux pas trouver mes affaires et je ne pense pas que d'autres personnes qui ne devraient pas mourir |
English | Merry Christmas Happy Holidays I hope you all have are having had a good Christmas or are just enjoying the end of the year if you don't celebrate Christmas |
English | Why don't they understand When you confide in someone you love that you're suicidal why are they angry avoidant distant Has this happened to anyone else It's only pushing me to want to do it even more He couldn't care less if I died |
English | I want my friend to finally leave want to be able to die without them mourning me without being responsible for their pain I want them to leave me like the other s did, but the usual methods will take too long |
English | Left my wife and daughter for her and I think ill kill myself today I've left my wife and daughter when she was just few weeks old I've hurt my ex-wife beyond any words that can explain that I've did this for a woman which I've loved from a first sight I've started a relationship with her that lasts for a year now She is hurting me so much that I can't even explain she keeps recalling her previous partner she calls my daughter shit she tells me she should die she says things to me that hurt me to the spine and break my heart every day or two I love her very much we spend a weekend with my daughter every week she is taking good care of my daughter but when I bring her back to her mother my partner freaks out and unloads all this shit on me This has taken too long I've tried to hang myself few months ago when she was trying to get back to her previous partner now we are together everyone around wants us to be happy all the people around tell us we are a great pair but I'm in despair and pain I've never been in I'm having seizures when she is kicking me when I'm down I used to hit my head as hard as I can on the walls and the door frames to stop myself from crying and screaming I've been begging her to be kind to me I've asked her to love me so many times She says she sometimes loves me and that my reactions to her words are bad and that why she wants my daughter to die I try my best I try very hard but I'm landing in a downward spiral always in tears in scream and in sorrow I've been spending all my money to support her ive put myself on brink of bankruptcy I've stolen money to support her and both of us When she is happy everything seems like it's going to work out When she is not happy its hell on earth I feel I'm on that Munch s painting Scream Ive been to psychiatrist and I've been prescribed carbamazepine to stabilize my mood, and it only works to some extent when I go beyond point of pain that I can cope with I get the seizures I lie down on the floor and I cry and weep I weep so hard I've scratched my face several times in the seizures in a way that I could describe only as an attempt to scratch my face off My parents try to have contact with me with us They've made steps to be in touch with us but SHE says they don't try hard enough, and she is sad I know I have to leave that woman but I can't I want her to love me I love her and I want to be with her, but she is very hard on me Over past weeks I've been considering another suicide I have a bottle of tramadol in the cupboard that I've taken after my grandma died from cancer she used it as a painkiller I know that if I take few gulps of the tramadol It's going to be all over and ill have peace My daughter is sleeping with us today She is months old Please help |
English | I made a hangmen noose yesterday I am always sad, or it creeps up on me, I am a to virgin keep getting rejected bad dates been thinking about hanging myself for years family is split and mean manipulative I am very, very angry I go to community college am sad about this want to go to full brand university never drank never smoke gotten drunk feel like I'm missing out on all the fun sex and parties on days off of work am usually alone going for IT degree but do not know what just like computers living with dad in small apt had fight with mom moved out mom cheated on dad is manipulative and Cruz dad is obese lb asshole who is stubborn no bedroom no place that is mine bullied big portion of life overweight but eating Heather now wrote volumes of poetry fully published but can't seem to sell any everyday I feel like I am getting closer and closer to killing myself bought a rope from Walmart a few weeks back I learned out to make a hangmen noose made one successfully I am feeling ready more and more am a hard worker, but it never truly pay s off I am just bidding time until I have the courage to take my life one person that keeps me going is little brother he is awesome |
English | I posted a few days ago deleted it and I m going to retry I am completely human trash and I want to die I'm not here for pity points I'm not here for your I'm sorry s or really anything I just want to know that I'm not going to make a dumb decision That I really am human trash All I know is that since I've been in elementary I've been a mentally fucked up child Not only am I a transgender male but I have possible borderline personality and a lot of other shit I'm numb all the time and when I'm not numb I'm sad Scarily sad I'm not ever happy I've been dreaming of transitioning for a while but my dad won't let me get a job and since I'm underage it's not like I can just spite him It s because I'm apparently too lazy and I'm starting to think he's right It's just I don't want to be here any more I've done so much bad and I don't think I'll ever do any good All I am is a waste of human Who s going to love me when my emotions are all over the place And now because I know I m in the wrong body the entire worlds against me, I bet a few of the people here already want to argue with me or turn me back just because they disagree with me, I'm also setting myself up for financial crisis s I'm already poor but paying for hormones or surgery is already going to add financial strain I'll never ever be able to be who I truly am I'll never be able to get anyone to love me I'll never have any friends my family is going to leave me all behind eventually when they learn how fucked I am No one likes me no one wants me no one wants to get to know me My only escape is the internet The community here is so nice But it will never help me It won't be enough to change me I'm clinging on to false hope that things will be okay I've become so depressed isolated so lonely that even a small compliment makes my entire day and I'm scared that it'll become a bad habit that ll make me cling to toxic people I hate being so vulnerable Being so isolated due to COVID has made things worse I might actually kill myself I might do something that I'll end up regretting possibly So all I want to know is will I really regret it I don't expect my life to ever turn around I don't even have a college fund and the university I want to go to is private Mind you this has been ongoing for years Years of this pain ever since elementary and I'm in high school I don't expect to get many responses I hope you are having a better life then me If I do end up doing anything I'll make another post maybe Thank you |
French | J'ai eu une petite rupture aujourd'hui Ma vie est tout ce que je veux Ce n'est pas parfait et j'ai une dette jusqu'au cul de mon ex-mari Mais j'ai un toit au-dessus de ma tête et un petit ami merveilleux et de soutien Et tout ce que je continue à faire c'est de pleurer. |
French | J'ai tout perdu et je n'ai rien à espérer mois de toast ma petite amie d'années a rompu avec moi, je comprends pourquoi j'étais un trou du cul beaucoup de temps et elle voulait quelque chose de différent Elle était mon tout et je pensais que j'étais le sien mais je suppose que je ne veux pas vraiment qu'elle se sente heureuse mais en y pensant, je doute fortement qu'elle pense que ça veut dire que je suis plus. |
English | I'm just so done I'm over it I m tired weigh lbs I'm nearly yo My husband only loves me half the time Our home is a trashed mess with barely any room to walk There's a leak in the ceiling of the living room and I'm pretty sure we've got black mold I have OCD severe anxiety and severe depression My life is fear disturbing thoughts I can't get rid of and a lack of enthusiasm for all the things I loved once upon a time Sure I could try and lose the weight but literally doing anything hurts and is unbelievably difficult I can't stand for very long with my legs cramping or my back seizing up Why even bother losing the weight at this point My body is already ruined Why bother continuing on at all I'm lazy unmotivated and disgusting I hate myself I hate my life I actually have a decent job, but I hate going there Being around other people is terrible because I have to pretend I'm happy, and I know every one is constantly judging me And before anyone suggests it therapy and medication are out of the question We can't afford the doctor or a therapist or anything like that I live in the US Healthcare is insanely expensive and the services that are available for free are either wait listed like crazy or of such a low quality that it's not worth bothering with them at all My husband is severely depressed as well He s been struggling with suicidal thoughts for a long time as well Last night I suggested we go out together He's trying to talk me out of it, but I can tell his heart isn't in it, I think he's considering my suggestion We could re home our cats and then do it I'm just so done |
English | Life is making useless efforts troops I'm not complaining about anything but then this is all I can feel for the past few days A lot has happened to me in the past few years and I can't put in words what all I've been through I am even below the rock bottom, and I am genuinely hurt but not complaining of anything The only thing that I think of is what's the worst that can happen A person will die right But this thought will never scare anyone who is already begging for death Then what should I care about I've nothing to lose but I've lost everything already lol I know nothing would ever work out for me because life isn't obliged to treat me good lol And that's perfectly fine But then why this endless pain and suffering I'm numb already The maximum that life do to me is killed me and I already want to die So isn't it a win-win situation for life I'm ready to offer life what it seeks from me Then why this constant fight between me and my fate I'm not against what it wants of me It wants to kill me yes I want the same Then why this pushing me to the edge thing I m at the edge just kill me now How can I make my fortune and god understand that they don't have to put any efforts any more I'm in for what they want Indeed I'm in for something even extreme Ugh wish I could pass this on God |
English | How have people dealt with being left My fiancé told me yesterday she's leaving me she's my true love and soul mate and when she was collecting her things I begged her not to go, but she said she couldn't stay things aren't the same any more I just wanted to get a knife and stick it through my heart because it's easier than going through this pain for a lifetime But I didn't I don't know why But just wanted to know how people deal with loosing who they truly thought they'd be with for life |
English | I was conceived so give my parents citizenship My parents hated each other it's no secret in the family I'm the only child born in USA so was able to petition for them recently I've served my purpose all the while I have a growth next to my ear that gives me headaches no insurance to get it checked Had to leave a toxic relationship of years recently she keeps contacting me randomly, and it stops me from moving on because I hope things will actually be different I can't even leave my room unless It's for work or shitty food I just sit in my room and cry I'm so deep in this pit and just want to sleep my pathetic life away |
English | Suicide pact If someone is at the verge of taking their life and are too scared to do it alone Please contact me I lived with my love of my life for years I cannot see a life without her For many various reasons she don't want me anymore But what made it worse is that the years we spent together is not making and impact in her whatsoever I'm done I can't just move on I'm loyal to my love |
French | null |
English | I'm going to hang today m posting this on mobile, so please excuse any errors I am years old I live at home I never attended college or made an attempt to I am currently updatable and without friends and I believe the lack of college is a big factor in that My only real friends have all moved on with their lives they live on the opposite end of the country I live on the East coast of the USA I just got a full-time job that pays a fairly decent hourly wage and has fair benefits for what it is However I don't particularly care about it one way or the other it's a means to an end not my passion My immediate family and my paternal grandmother are really the only ones I think will be impacted in any major way I think they worry about me but alas I don't have the strength for life any more I'll be going later tonight It is currently EST I m years old and tonight I will hang |
English | Stuck Hopeless Helpless Powerless Unappreciated Unheard Undervalued Stuck in the motions of every day Losing meaning to hold on just a little longer I do not fear the darkness or death I welcome the solitude and stillness |
French | Je ne pense pas que je peux m'y engager, mais je pense constamment à son depuis que j'ai commencé l'université, j'ai commencé à prendre du retard dans à peu près tous les aspects de ma vie, je ne me faisais pas d'amis, et je ne faisais pas mal dans toutes mes classes, je ne faisais qu'étudier. |
French | J'ai besoin d'aide pour me préparer à la thérapie Salut les gars, j'ai mon premier rendez-vous de thérapie dans quelques jours, je veux être aussi honnête que possible avec eux, mais je ne peux pas me permettre d'être hospitalisé, je suis suicidaire, j'ai un plan pour quelques mois. |
French | J'ai juste besoin d'un énorme je vais pleurer pourquoi je suis même né |
French | Aide Donc, je décide enfin d'y mettre fin ce soir Maintenant, est-ce que quelqu'un sait combien de losartan mg est suffisant pour faire quoi que ce soit Si ce n'est pas réussi quelles sont les blessures médicales que je devrais traiter |
French | Diagnostiqué avec un trouble schizoaffectif déteste mon travail et manque de motivation croire que ma maladie me rend intrinsèquement moins précieux en tant que personne, je ne trouve presque aucune joie dans tout ce que je fais plus La seule chose que j'aime quelque peu faire est la programmation, mais je suis incapable de terminer quoi que ce soit en raison de mon manque de motivation. |
French | N'importe qui d'autre s'est frappé à la tête n'espèrent à plusieurs reprises parfois juste une fois mal m'a frappé dans une virgule probablement pas possible mais une bonne pensée d'avoir |
English | I have reached my limit After years I can't fight any more I want to tell you a story it is mine, and I want someone to know it When I was a year old my parents split up This is common for many people but for me despite an amazing stepfather I could never fill the hole in me that wanted my father in my life Even when I was a kid or years old I knew things weren't right I woke up every day sad went to sleep every night angry that the one person I wanted in my life wasn't there I only have two or three memories of my father before I was He was a heavy drinker but never abused anyone He loved my brother and I but he was too irresponsible to left alone with his kids A former Marine and at the time firefighter all I could hear from family was how great a person my dad was but I could never be with him This pained me more than I ever let on to anyone I turned that pain into hate and eventually rage I began to hate my friends who had their fathers still in their family I began to hate my mother for keeping me from my father I hated my brother for having memories of him I hated everyone who couldn't tell me why I couldn't see my father when I wanted to And then when I was just becoming a teenager the small semblance of family I had with a stepfather was shattered when he left abruptly during the summer I went from someone who had been filled with hate and bile to someone who no longer cared I didn't care if it spilled out anymore to hell with them all I thought I went from straight A s in school to failing every class From never in trouble to suspended weekly Eventually being forced into homeschool due my outbursts I became secluded and alone I spent almost the entirety of my teenage years living in the country away from all of my friends being homeschooled away from society I became a brooding teenager The outbursts in the school were no longer there to vent any anger or rage any more It just began to pile on itself over and over Eventually this would boil over to just about any instigation It wasn't until I almost killed my brother by throwing a knife at him missing his head and impaling the wall an inch above him that I realized just how bad things were becoming No one knew about this but he and I and we never spoke of it again But I knew something had changed I threw that knife with the intent to kill my own brother for nothing more than teasing me This lead to me becoming even more isolated I was afraid of my own temper and anger I obviously had trouble controlling it anymore and had to constantly live with the fact that I nearly killed the one friend I had this world The one person who would always protect me from everyone else So I suffered I got angry I broke small things and repaired them over and over again in secret Anytime an electronic broke I'd volunteer to throw it away only to break it to pieces when no one was around This went on for years and years Then something remarkable happened I met a girl and for the first time in my life I was truly happy I didn't get angry I didn't care about my family issues I was glowing Nothing but her mattered to me anymore For nearly three years nothing on earth mattered as much as she did But my insecurities crawled back, and I became afraid Afraid she'd leave me and I'd be alone again in that dark hole My own fear of her leaving pushed her away in a stereotypical fashion It was this day that I could attempt to kill myself for the first time I drowned myself in Tequila took a few Vicodin and start cutting on my wrists toying with myself I would constantly cut just right to get a good bleed but not uncontrollable Reminding myself to go down the road not across the street If we fail we don't want to lose use of our hands do we And ultimately the fear of failure became the catalyst to stop I never wanted to keep living I just knew I was failure and I'd probably fuck this up too right So I pushed on hiding the pain I hid that everyday I d drive just a bit too fast around a corner or I'd take it a bit slower when crossing the road hoping just maybe the universe would do me a fucking favor It didn't obviously Fucking universe That was nearly a decade ago Now I sit here at with nearly years of repressed rage emotion and hate reaching a level I never knew I could achieve I hate the human race I hate the people nearby I hate everyone including myself But this alone wouldn't be enough No there is one small detail I left out This is the one that has led me to completely planning out my own death in the least painful way possible for my mother Two years ago I tore my ACL and MCL I had no insurance so only ER services would be used Obviously it didn't heal properly, and so I spend every moment of every day in a pain that would make most people think they broke their knee I also had the joy of tearing my rotator cuff and again no insurance, so only a local clinic visit was allowed to diagnose it and give me some Motrin and be on my way I can no longer reach my right arm above my head towards my back in any way I've lived the last two years of my life in a pain that never goes away That doesn't let me sleep That doesn't let me see my family my friends or leave my house much any more I can't walk far before the pain is too much to continue I cannot keep balance on that knee because there is nothing left to balance it And all of that I could live with I truly could It wasn't until I realized that no one believed me Disability denies me My doctors think I am lying I finally got insurance and saw a specialist regarding my knee times over a year, and he blatantly told me he thinks I am lying So I am here now I hate the world I hate me I want to see it all burn and revel in the agony of those who didn't want me Who didn't believe me I hurt every day but see people cry over their fucking I phone cracking because their fat asses sat on it while eating their McDonald's Fat fuck meal And the worst part of it all I know everything in my head is wrong I know a human shouldn't be like this I have lost the room in my mind for compassion and caring I can't find the effort anymore to care about anyone not even myself Anyone cares about me so why should I them So I devised a plan Clean everything up Organize it all Clean the browser history and cookies Deleted the email accounts Magnetize the hard drives just to be certain Then drive out into the country find a quiet wooded area Walk inside slit my wrists and let it go I'd let my mother know I am gone so that she doesn't keep looking for me but hopefully my body is never found What can I say I am tired of being in pain when no one believes me I am tired of being alone when all I want to do is be with friends and family I am tired of being full of hate when I have lived the life of kind caring and for all others just for the sake of fitting in I am so tired of being alive |
English | I don't want to live and haven't for some time I just needed to write this out didn't really know anywhere else relevant to put it Sorry in advance for rambling I'm not sad so much as I am angry I'm angry that my parents had me Why couldn't it have been someone else Why do I have to exist They deserve better I didn't sign up for this shit I never asked to be born I never signed up to be intelligent nor to be weird nor socially awkward nor ugly I'm angry at the UN empathetic assholes out there who say stuff like suicide is selfish Fuck them life isn't opt in so it has to be opt out don't try to guilt-trip me into giving up my right to leave I'm angry that politics is so complex convoluted and corrupt I'm angry at the existence of only human bullshit like the stock market Like huge militaries Like the fact that nearly every technological marvel of the modern age is either an advanced death machine or came from one And we're too busy sharpening our knives that we can't even get back to the moon I'm angry at all the massively complex abstractions and structures society has built to account for one overarching truth people fucking suck and we largely only care about ourselves I can't keep up with my college studies because I have almost no energy or motivation despite the subjects being the things I've always wanted to do I've already dropped out of one degree and was incredibly lucky to get the opportunity to do an even better one Now I might get kicked out of it because I'm liable to fail at least another paper this semester two fails in a row is enough to flag you as an unrecoverable bad student apparently I submitted a disastrous full year group project a few days ago We barely passed I fucked it up for the others by being so tired and unavailable I don't even know how to apologize for that I'm literally useless Exams are in two weeks and I need to basically get straight As in them to pass my courses It's funny to think that all the suffering I experience all the irritation I cause other people all the arrogance of people who presume to know the magnitude of what or how I feel It's all just a bunch of chemicals whirling around inside a structure made from other chemicals Everything seems irrelevant in the scheme of things and I despise nearly all of it I stay awake all night and I sleep all day The sun is coming up now and I haven't even started feeling tired yet just a burning rage at myself and at society There are good days and bad days I don't know how much time I have left in me whether it s hours days or decades but my life is following a bad trajectory and I don't think it'll be much longer until I m gone I just needed to write this out didn't really know anywhere else relevant to put it Sorry for rambling |
French | Je suis fatigué de ce monde me fait sentir, donc piégé personne ici est libre et je ne me sens pas comme j'appartiens à une telle société égoïste et sans valeur je vous fais me demander si même l'obscurité éternelle est mieux que ce que je veux juste être libre est tout sans que la société ne juge le moindre mouvement si je veux faire quelque chose qui est considéré comme hors de l'ordre, alors je dois payer si je ne veux pas que tout le monde soit. |
English | Well here goes nothing Earlier today I said after I got off from work at I wasn't coming home, and I was going to wait till morning to go to a highway to end my life using oncoming traffic preferably a semi truck I m at a motel right now, and I have to say this feels peaceful |
French | Je vais survivre à mon chien Je ne sais pas si cela appartient ici Je pense à mettre fin à ma vie tout le temps Je ne vais pas entrer dans cela, mais je me sentais comme partager cela pour une raison quelconque Je reste en vie pour l'instant parce que je me sens trop coupable pour laisser mon chien derrière Pas de gens m'arrêter juste mon chien Il est mon meilleur ami Je l'ai depuis très quelques semaines, et maintenant il a des années Il est un piteux |
English | Two days on and I don't feel anything has got better I'm still a waste of space The only thing keeping me going is my mum and even that is wearing thin I just can't do it I'm worthless and no one would notice |
French | J'ai commencé à montrer des signes quand j'étais autour de sept ans et j'ai été officiellement diagnostiquée négative à l'école secondaire Je ne suis pas un monstre Je ne suis pas un germaphobe je suis toujours inorganisée J'ai toujours peur de faire des notes J'ai toujours peur d'écrire des choses J'ai toujours peur d'écrire des notes parce que j'ai parfois écrit trop ou bâclé |
English | Week of grad school and I'm already a failure started grad school last week I was so excited and prepared already having chapter of each textbook read and detailed notes in my notebook While I anticipated grad school to be challenging especially when I work a full-time job I did not expect this quarantine to make things x harder I thought working as a kindergarten teacher from home would allow me more free time after work to focus on my classes Instead I'm being buried in emails from school directors and from parents I have to send emails every Monday with homework packets in addition to making phone calls every day to check in on parents and log their feedback onto an Excel spreadsheet for the school directors to see I also have to make PowerPoints and lesson plans daily and teach live zoom classes spread out throughout each day along with attending morning teacher meetings With all this extra work and stress of parent complaints because of course they are NEVER satisfied with the work we're putting in for their kids my anxiety has been through the roof This has made it extremely difficult for me to focus on my schoolwork as I'm constantly exhausted and feel too anxious about my work not being good enough so I've struggled to make it through my discussion board posts and short papers I procrastinated because I'm a fucking dumbass and get too stuck in my own head and anxiety over not being smart enough for grad school Because of this I waited til the last minute to type my paper and wound up turning it in at am It had been due at pm I had no idea that even though all the discussion posts and replies I posted were on time days before the deadline I only procrastinated the paper bc I was so stupidly scared of doing a shit job failure to turn in this paper would result in automatic withdrawal from the class My other online class is fine I have an A bit now that's my only class which means it's going to take me even longer to graduate and I'm going to be a fucking underpaid kindergarten teacher forever I'm never going to get my PSD because I'm a fucking moron who can't manage her time and swallow her stupid fucking mental issues for important shit like this Its almost am and I've been trying to calm myself down for the past hours I finally found this place to vent to I hope that's okay My cat is with me, so I'm not going to hurt myself I'm trying so hard to control myself but it's so hard and I'm so tired |
French | Si je n'entre pas dans l'armée de l'air, je finis par avoir tellement de choses que je vais partager si quelqu'un me lit, je suis perdu, je devais aller à l'université aujourd'hui, mais les ordres d'argent se sont foutus, alors maintenant j'essaie de m'enrôler, j'ai passé le test VSAB et j'ai l'impression de baiser. |
English | Had depression for years it always comes back I'm here because I'm sitting in front of a pack of strong Bezos and thinking of taking them First signs appeared when I was or stuff got worse ever since spent five weeks in a mental hospital when I was depression sometimes takes breaks that last for a few months usually after a year or two of therapy I have tried killing myself multiple times I fail because the rope breaks or the pills end up not being lethal even though I sleep for hours straight from half of one of those I'm tired of everything and I know that depression will keep butt fucking me for years because not only does my dad have it but my brother had it as well as my grandfather I'm sick of everything especially people because most people care only when I'm suicidal and ignore me when I'm not Even though I don't play any role in their lives except for being that sad guy who's always asking for attention by trying to kill himself I don't want to face reality anymore or ever again I just want to fall asleep and never wake up I think I m going to try to overdose and take a nap hopefully I won't wake up |
French | null |
French | C'est juste dur La première fois l'affiche le lecteur de temps long J'ai juste besoin de le sortir J'ai rompu au travail aujourd'hui Je travaille dans un refuge pour animaux et la plupart des jours je peux ignorer qu'ils sont malheureux et stressés et épingler des gens qui généralement ne les cherchent pas Mais toute petite chose m'empêchent d'être en colère Alors que je suis en colère Je suis en colère Je suis en colère Je suis en colère |
English | Just on edge feeling really lonely and empty lately have no friends to talk to and I feel lost sleeping all day and being stoned all day is my crutch i don't know what to do I know no one will notice if I disappear i don't talk to anyone enough for it to go noticed nobody talks to me, I lack significance and value i just don't want to die alone in my apartment and decay and finally be found out weeks later I keep thinking that's what s going to happen I keep writing suicide notes and then getting too stoned to function is this my life forever I just want to feel needed and wanted by someone anyone this loneliness is becoming unbearable |
French | Putain, je ne veux pas que ce soit comme ça, j'essaie Putain, j'essaie, mais j'ai l'impression que personne ne veut me parler, je veux juste que tout le monde autour de moi, les amis, je veux toujours parler, je veux toujours parler, je veux toujours parler, je veux toujours parler, je veux toujours parler. |
French | Tout ce que j'entends parler de quelqu'un dans un autre pays Tout ce que j'écoute quelqu'un qui se plaint de sa relation à distance Tout ce que quelqu'un me dit Tout ce que quelqu'un me dit Tout ce que je dis Tout ce que je dis Tout ce que je dis Tout ce que je dis Tout ce que je dis Tout ce que je dis Tout ce que je dis Tout ce que je dis Tout ce que je dis Tout ce que je dis Tout ce que je dis Tout ce que je fais |
English | TARGETED individual seriously does NO ONE on here know about this program this is a program to destroy peoples lives and drive them to suicide many in Hollywood have known about it for a very long time I can't believe I have read so many peoples stories on here and that they don't know they are TARGETED individuals please people look it up on YouTube look up ELLA FREE and listen to some of the victims stories I think you will relate, and you may see you are NOT alone this is an evil program designed to make you kill yourself don't give them the satisfaction of giving up |
French | Je suis prêt à m'absenter parce que honnêtement je ne voudrais pas manquer devrait être heureux que je suis seulement j'ai un bon travail faire de l'argent que je possède ma propre vie à la maison se passe très bien, mais je ne sais pas que je veux juste mourir, je ne vais pas entrer dans les détails comment, mais il semble juste la seule option que je ne suis pas normalement un à évacuer j'essaie de le mettre en bouteille, mais à la fin je suis seul |
English | I feel like things will never get better Honestly I don't know how my life will ever get better It s been years since I left high school and I have no job no education I've never had any close friends I feel so lonely every day I wish I could go back in time and restart my life over again so I could have a chance to live without the depression and anxiety I've been dealing with for the last few years I don't know what to do some days I feel like I just want to die, so I can end this pain but I don't want to kill myself because I'm scared of dying I can't see a future where I'll ever be happy I just see myself spending the rest of my life in depression and I wish I could end it |
English | Everything is so boring and tedious and dull and click It all feels like a cycle over and over and over again I can't break from the cycle I can alter it work out read books party whatever but the everlasting futility remains and it's so fucking boring I don't want to anymore |
English | The hardest part is waking UPI ve been having a hard time right now I know that sounds cliché but I don't know what else to say I've had depression and general anxiety disorder since I was around The pills aren't working anymore and my psychologist doesn't know how to help me I'm now and the psychologist knows nothing about me All she knows is my name and the prescription she writes every time I run out of my medicine which is disheartening to me, I try to say what's on my mind when I m in my sessions but I always get scared because she never even listens to the simple things I say and because I don't want anyone seeing me as a threat to myself I keep having nightmares that consist of me killing myself my psychologist told me melatonin would help me with that to get to sleep and constant episodes of where I keep telling myself that I need to do it I sometimes hear my parents in my head screaming at me during these episodes as well yelling things they've said in the past before Examples being he tried to kill me mom how could you back him up and her response being so you've tried to kill yourself anyway I made a list of everything they've said to me that hurts me, so I know that maybe there's a reason going on for me being depressed But I have a tendency to read that list over and over again which makes things harder Whether my depression is justified or not whether there's people out there who have it much worse than I I'm in so much pain right now The hardest part is after what little rest I get I wake up There's like a pause and then seconds of extreme mental pain and heart racing because everything comes rushing back to me, It's always a constant battle trying to fight myself and I m at a loss right now Forgive the fact that this is very unorganized I'm trying to get everything out all at once |
French | Dans la description, j'ai trouvé et j'ai eu un court fil de commentaires avec quelqu'un qui envisage de se suicider, je fais de mon mieux pour l'aider à lui parler, mais j'ai l'impression que je suis hors de ma profondeur et que je ne suis pas la meilleure personne pour ce travail. Si certains d'entre vous pouvaient lui parler et l'aider, ce serait incroyable. |
English | I m seen as a Drone for society to peg me up the we are drones to be used to keep society somewhat functioning for the big boys up on top of that pyramid It's human nature for humans to fuck over other humans for personal gain and now it's going so far to the point where institutions and corporations around the world are destroying our beautiful planet for short term gain It's awful we're doomed we're completely fucked No one has a drop of empathy for the home planet of their own species Everyone turns a blind eye towards faith to God the government or maybe a bit of both Everyone is so egocentric giving up a little bit of convenience or modifying their culture in any way at all to help out the planet is just too much to ask from most people We re in the midst of a mass extinction and the only thing anyone gives a shit about is money social status or other stupid shit feeding into their overweight ego We're the most intelligent species on the planet We are the caregivers of the planet not some magical fairy God that loves everyone This is humanity s last stand and history repeats itself once again one last time My first job at fast food I was kept labeled as a worker in training for the whole four months just so they can pay me less to do all the gut work like cleaning all the stoves and dishes everyday while other chilled on their phones for downtime My second job at a restaurant my shifts as a dishwasher or busboy would always get cut off to be given to some family members of the restaurant that think it's okay to slack off because they re family, and they know they won't get fired I just got a third job at a local warehouse I was told a dollar bonus to help clean the warehouse because it was shutdown for a month or so because of corona Being the only young worker there I worked my ass off constantly moving hours a day coming in Saturdays too I was lied to and given a dollar bonus He probably pocket the other because I'm so easy to be fucked with I'm thinking of quitting tomorrow because that s bullshit The American political system is a system only designed for two parties to compete but in reality we all know both parties are working together to once again fuck over the people for personal corporate gain Everyone focuses on the president but not many point out that he's just a puppet with strings to be pulled by the elites I hate my friends because they're all pieces of shit I met in high school that would never give the slightest shit for what I have to say about anything Anytime I'm not at home I have to put on the costume society gives me and act nothing like my true self at work or with friends Maybe I should get better friends that do care about the stuff I say, but school is over because I graduated and it's hard to make friends lol Who knows maybe there is nothing wrong with the world but there's only stuff wrong with me but I wouldn't think, so Everyone believes what they cannot see and everyone looks away from what's really in front of them and deludes themselves for comfort I don't think I'm wrong I really don't I think the whole world is wrong and fucked up rather than I am But then again it's natural for people to always think they're right I'm thinking I'm correct right now but maybe I'm totally wrong and the world is sunshine and rainbows after all but I doubt it is s a shame Narcissa over-rides empathy in evolution it is our ultimate downfall I've been contemplating Suicide for maybe years now and that's not good for how young I am The biggest reason why I'm deciding to stick around is because my mother is the only person on the planet that listens to what I really have to say about things and the world I'm also aware of a mother s natural love for her children and I would never want to cause that much mental pain to the only person who doesn't see me as a cog in the machine The only person I see that isn't insane or mental The only person that cares about me Once my mom goes I go because then there will be nothing stopping me from escaping this prison evolution forced upon me, I can see myself killing myself one day I can't go on for another years Who know if humanity will even live that much longer given the state of the environment and how much technology is increasing I'd only stick around to see that, so I can laugh at how shock people are that it really is the end LMAO |
English | I just don't get it m so fucking depressed and just so, so sad I'm finally out of an emotionally abusive household and in a much better environment but yet it's like the depression has gotten worse I have money I have a loving family I have a beautiful GF and wonderful friends But, yet I can't shake this depression I've been seeing a counselor and plan on trying light therapy I feel like the way I feel isn't valid like I shouldn't be like this I have no reason to be this so sad and suicidal I know friends and other people who are in way worse situations I shouldn't be sad, yet I am I've had a history with depression and anxiety but I feel like I should be getting better not going steps back I'm just so sad I don't want to be alive anymore |
English | Hopeless loop anxious about everything I got a Fitbit to try to get healthy, but now I just have anxiety all the time about my calories and steps Its like when I was anorexic and it's not healthy I feel so alone and hopeless I don't have anything to live for Right now I'm too nervous to go over to a persons house because their year-old kid is there and I'm scared to talk to him because I don't interact well with people and I've never been around kids before I'm just trying to get Xanax, so I can stop this panic attack that s been brewing since noon |
French | Je ne sais pas quoi faire plus ma relation va nulle part juste un cycle sans fin de moi être harcelé et blessé je vis dans des conditions défavorables pas stable tous mes rêves ont été ruinés à cause de quelqu'un d'autre était hors de mon contrôle je ne veux pas continuer plus si j'ai les couilles je vais le faire ce soir mais qui sait probs être trop peur à nouveau |
French | Suicidal AFI se sentir comme mourir Je discute de savoir si sauter devant un train ou sauter d'un bâtiment, mais de toute façon je prie que cela fonctionne |
English | Passive Suicide want to die but I don't want to attempt suicide again I'll end up vomiting all over the place again or end up being in pain again so I'm just waiting to die I'm going to slowly wind down on eating moving and whatnot I'm just going to smoke and vape until I eventually die from something I've also come down with a respiratory infection so there's that I'm just really bored and tired of living life Nothing s interesting Nothing s exciting Nothing makes me happy Family s getting on my goddamn nerves with bullshit I don't want any more friends or romantic partners I just want to quit being present |
French | Je ne savais jamais que la solitude pouvait devenir si grave Même quand je suis entouré d'autres, je ressens cette tristesse intense, j'ai l'impression que c'est mon destin de me tuer, Wow, c'est en fait palpable, le sentiment quand je pense que je me sens bien. |
English | Major Tragedies in Life No Options No Money No Future This is going to be a long one but I'll try to keep it coherent Here goes I'm live on the East Coast in a rural area I quit my job in Sept of last year I claimed workplace abuse to my friends but it was more that I had been written up hadn't improved and didn't want to get blackballed from my industry of choice system administrator I've lived with my father for the past years and we get along but I've constantly disappointed my family My father was expecting me to be the golden goose of my brothers and sisters but instead I became the dropout the mooch the one who didn't do anything useful with his life All I have in my life are my aging grandparents my mother who's a narcissist who can't help it and perpetually broke my father and a few friends Two weeks ago I got into a major car accident totaled my car and I was hoping the guy responsible would be on the hook but his insurance pulled a fast one and I'm left without options Attorneys won't take up my case because they say his ins has successfully screwed me I'm suffering back pain I was working DoorDash and no longer have the means to do that without a car I have no income my father is getting antsy since I m at home all the time trying to lick my wounds I have no recourse for that On top of that I can't go back to my job area with the current pandemic I cannot work from home because the work-life balance causes me to break down from stress Losing the ins case has worsened my finances I have some money I've hid away in case of bankruptcy but it's not enough to start over esp with no car I live in a rural area where I have no friends nearby It's the same town I grew up in I left years ago but came back and I was bullied badly in high school so I have nothing here for me other than family I have no romance I left an unhappy relationship months ago where I was being forced to do things I didn't like The woman I was courting now sees me as a useless wreck in the wake of these tragedies I'm unattractive overweight bitter So I'm destitute unable to work depressed feeling useless and without hope I don't expect you guys to have the answers but I'm feeling suicidal I don't know what to do and I see no way out of this without begging family to help and frankly the guilt over being a disappointment CRUSHES me Just please listen That's all I ask In my time of need |
Subsets and Splits