Input
stringlengths
3
315
Output
stringlengths
1
10k
what are we going to do about Frank?
I don't know, man. I've had it up to my ears with that guy.
How sad is it to never have a boyfriend for valentine’s day or new years?
It's not sad... You don't need someone to spend time with you on a certain holiday to be happy. Most people who dump someone or are dumped after those holidays want their wasted money / time with them back.
Papa Murphy’s workers, why are the mini Murph’s never made?
I am not a papa murphy's employee but I discovered the mini murphs are in the display case with the cheese bread, salads and cookie dough
People with a (B.S.) Bull Shit in university, where are you working now?
Hospital lab diagnosing blood cancers.
What is it like to live in a place that experiences 4 seasons?
It's pretty cool. Sometimes. Other times it's pretty hot.
What traits, like smoking or bad driving, is it shallow, but not too shallow, to avoid dating someone?
If they’re a whore. That’s a universal dealbreaker in my humble opinion.
People who haven't peed in 2021 how have you been able to hold in a pee for a year?!
Dude!! You are high Take a break And go Pee!! PS : let me know if i am off on my prediction that you are high
What’s the worst gift you got this Christmas?
No gift is a bad gift
If Laffy Taffy allowed NSFW jokes, what are some examples?
Why didn’t Ken and Barbie ever have kids? He came in a different box!
Are there any *GOOD* books on effective ways to establish good habits, methods for learning new abilities/skills as effectively as possible, and taking advantage of what we know about how the brain/mind works, without falling into typical "self-help" trope nonsense pseudoscience?
Don’t really know what you consider “good” but I like Atomic Habits by James Clear.
The saying “Happy new year” was never invented. What do we say instead?
"Smell ya later"
What's your New Year Resolution/Goal for 2021??
Move back to be being more extrovert instead of introvert. All while also starting work on finishing a 7 year long project.
How is it to still be in 2020?
idk I'm in 2022
What are your best ways to save money?
shift at 2k rpm
Where do you think frozen pizza spends most of its shelf life? In the grocery store or in your home freezer?
Asking the *real* questions
People who haven’t pooped in 2021 yet. What would the world look like today if the Roman Empire had managed to last another few hundred years?
Repost
People who will be affected by the asteroid of 2021, how are you preparing?
I’m preparing my speech. When it comes, I’ll persuade him into turning around.
What song always breaks you down to a sobbing pile of tears?
Waiting For the End by Linkin Park I don't know why, but everytime I listen to it I can't help but think about how it perfectly fits my mental health struggle right now and I just break down into tears.
What's the funniest thing someone said to a bully in school?
Dont touch me. Thats my purse
What do you feel has been a big problem for a long time, yet has never been brought up properly?
The debt spiral many prominent countries are in.
How do you stop paying for things with your body?
I just wanted to answer this philosophically speaking. You can’t, without your physiological make-up, your mind would not be able to function effectively. Technically speaking, everything you do is owing to the constitution of your body.
How did a cream pie get is name ?
Its filled with cream
What actor turns you off watching something no matter how good others say it is?
Usually Nicholas Cage. I really can't tolerate his "acting" if that's what you want to call it.
People who have been on the news in a negative way is there any way that news articles can be removed or hidden? If so how?
Oh damn, I'm sorry firstly that you had to go through that and secondly that I have nothing but wise-ass responses to your question. Do you know if they reported on the incident using your name? Because if it's any help nothing comes up on Google (unless your username isn't your real name). I'm glad you're managing to get back on track though, hopefully 2021 is better to you
What is an activity (or hobby) you find completely undesirable that everyone else seems enjoy?
Bar hopping and clubbing, at least with the intent of meeting strangers. With friends it might not be as bad, but I've just never been the type to go out drinking and dancing to fast music. I just feel so awkward.
People who havent pooped in 2021, why are you holding on to last year's shit?
Its still 2020 in my country
What is the worst possible place to hide a dead body?
In your sock drawer.
What's a song that makes you cry every time you hear it?
Josh groban- raise me up, idk what it is just makes me sad
Children of compulsive liars: what was it like growing up? How are you doing now?
Confusing. Frustrating. Have *serious* trust issues now but otherwise I’m doing fairly well.
People who don't wear masks while driving: why not?
Why would you? Its like wearing a mask inn your house
In your opinion what are the best and worst sports?
Worst is golf
What would you tell every single person on earth if you could?
I just saved 15% on my car insurance
If animals could talk, which would be the rudest?
Humans
What's the best thing that happened to you in 2020?
My son moved back home from college to avoid living in the dorms during a pandemic. It is awful for him, but it is nice for me to have my family all together again for one bonus year.
What fact do you think needs to stop being sugar coated?
In America, we are expected to sing a song to the government before every sporting event, have a religious worship service for the military before major sorts games, and our children are made to swear fealty to the government every single morning in school. This should be extremely disturbing to everyone, and yet people just accept it as normal
What was the worst car you ever owned?
2008 Subaru Legacy. Not the car's fault, the previous owner treated it like crap and lied about taking care of it. I only had it for a month and had to scrap it because it had so many problems. Learned my lesson the hard way to never buy a used car without getting it inspected.
As we turn over the final page of 2020. What has this year taught you?
nothing
What's your future dream wedding?
Early fall/late summer outdoor wedding in my backyard. A few friends and family members. No maid of honor or braids maids. I’m in a dress that has some colorful flower details and wearing a green sweater (cause it’s cold lol) and my husband has some green/flower accents. After the quick ceremony we all make the food together. Grill steaks, bake potatoes, corn, anything else people are wishing for. Sit at one big table and eat together and tell stories. Then we go to bed haha
What was your "love is blind" experience?
I poked out the eyes of my crush. My mother said I'm not allowed to use the printer down in her basement again. She also said I need to meet some mexican guy at the church, Juan or something.
What is the worst nightmare you have ever had?
Idk if this counts, but the first time I had sleep paralysis, I was terrified. I was awake, saw a black cloud morphing into a figure at the foot of my bed, electricity popping through it. It swayed and sort of breathed like a man and my heart raced like crazy until I eventually snapped out of it and was able to move and turn my lamp on. But for pure dreams it was one where it was pure darkness and I heard the most shrill, deathly scream of a woman. Woke up from that one real quick
What should we give up as a society?
Materialism. People care more about objects than they care about people.
To end 2020 on a positive note: what is one good thing that happened to you this year?
2020 must be really bad if I can't think of one good thing that happened to me
What would you do if you woke up tomorrow morning and found out it was January 1st 2020 all over again?
Wait to read this question 100 times in a year
Without saying the name, what are some stereotypes that describe the state or country you are from?
Ranked about 49/50 in everything but thankfully Mississippi ensures we aren't the worst.
What about 2020 you hated the most?
All of the above
Those who got matching tattoos with a friend/partner, is their anything you regret or would change?
Me and a good friend (at the time) got matching tattoos. A couple weeks later, my girlfriend at the time cheated on me with him and then they got married soon after. Then had a kid, then got divorced. We’re cool now though 🤷🏻‍♂️
Happy New Year! How did you celebrate for New Year's 2021?
Went to bed at 11, cried until 1.
Those who are watching Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper on CNN’s New Years show, what are your thoughts about the show?
Andy Cohen is fucked up
If 2021 turns out to be the opposite of 2020, what will be the major events of the year?
Giofilms coming back
ladies, in this hypothetical scenario, you are in a game show where you have to go 3 weeks with no showering, bathing, deodorant or perfume and head out into public and hit on guys. the more men you pick up, you win. what would be the hardest part of this game?
Not showering bc I would feel so disgusted that I would quit after two days.
What do you do when you are feeling down?
Bath
woman who falsely accused man of rape, why?
woman (singular)
Which is better hot coco, Swissmiss or Nestle, and why are those who disagree uncouth heathen?
Make your own. Cocoa powder, sugar and milk is all you really need. I like to add a little vanilla or mint as well, but it's super easy. Take cocoa powder and sugar and dissolve it in a little bit of hot water, till it turns to a kind of paste. Then add the milk and let it heat slowly. It's amazing and ridiculously easy.
People in relationships, how often do you take your significant other out?
My girlfriend is very responsible. She's been socially distancing herself from me for like 2 years now.
Who would win in a fight: Bowser or Donkey Kong?
this just reminded me that the King Kong vs Godzilla movie is supposed to come out sometime soon
What does it take to make you dislike someone despite all the other good things about them and why?
I don’t take well to talking trash about others. Sometimes it’s insightful, but I basically assume they’ll talk about me in the same way.
What are some dumb questions you have been asked?
“Why are you so quiet”
Without giving any spoilers- what are your thoughts on the new Wonder Woman movie?
Great potential, fell flat due to a poor story.
What are some things you should actually buy name brand over generic brand items?
Cinnamon Toast Crunch. The cheap version does kinda suck. And I'm usually a generic-brand person, myself.
Dear people who have had a friend die, what is it like and happens in your head?
My best friend died when I was around eight. It was a confusing and enlightening time. I was less sad than stunned.
How different would the world be if we could use the capacity of our mind?
it wouldnt. the 100% capacity stuff is bullshit.
What is the weirdest thing you've seen while in a public bathroom?
boogers plastered on the walls. I was like WTF was someone showing off their boogers like they were little trophies?!
If you could choose one thing from fiction to exist in the real world, What would it be and why?
Portals. ..... Would literally revolutionize everything. Communication? Instant. Commute to work? Instant. Logistics? Who needs roads? Hello Amazon same-minute shipping. Electricity generation? Just stick a portal in low solar orbit, have multiple outputs shooting solar hellfire out in power plants to heat water to make steam for infinite electricity. Heck, install a tiny one right in your home. Colonize other planets? Easy, just send a portal there. Think it takes too long to get to mars? Not with a portal. Just drive the construction equipment right on thru. Hell, just portal all our greenhouse gases there for easy terraforming. Slap a portal on every smoke stack and car exhaust pipe and send it to Mars. Now we don’t have to worry about global warming. Garbage collection? Portal that shit into the sun. Build a small house in the city, have a room with 3 doors. Each door is a portal. each portal leads to another house in literally any other part of the world. Build a cabin in the mountains and you have a nice home office view. Rent a condo on a beach, now you have a killer rec room. Have a portal go back to your childhood home - parents would love it! Call it “distributed housing”. Warfare? Just make a missile with a portal for a tip, put it’s pair someplace out in space. Shoot the portal missile at literally anything and nothing would stop it, would just bore a hole straight thru literally anything. Running out of natural resources? Just fly portals out to the asteroid belt. Done son. —- Portals are where it’s at. Telling you.
What are some good things that have happened in 2020, this catastrophe of a year?
Trump lost.
If you could say one thing to 2020 before it's gone for good, what would it be?
Hell.
What stereotype do you fall under?
I’m a Jew and I’m very stingy with my money. I will also pick coins up off the ground. Kids in my middle school made fun of me by throwing coins at me and they’d laugh while I picked them up and pocketed them. I made like $12 one semester. Wasn’t even mad. 2005 was a weird time.
Australia, Asia, Europe and Africa, how is 2021 so far? Any advise for the other the American continents?
Yes. Any *advi****c****e*? Please *advi****s****e* the rest of us. I'm curious.
If people were Pokémon, what Pokémon would you want to be?
the one with a drinking problem
What is a skill anyone could learn and eventually master if they dedicated 15 minutes of time to it a day?
Headstand
Now that 2020 is almost over, how would you describe it?
A shit-show
If highly advanced Aliens establish contact, all good, except they have no interest in sharing anything with us. How would we react overtime?
Stating they could wipe a country in a blast, so first we might be kinda frustrated ? Like imagine they can cure cancers, solve energy crisis etc ... But simply are not interested to help. As we don't have anything for them in exchange, and for various reasons will not benevolent help / interfere with our development. I think at first we would be frustrated or like "we can do it with or without them" even having a goal like " it's possible they did it, so why not us ?" But in the end it will turn into resent and anger. We might go for a final desperate attempt to have a piece of it or potentially override them. (Sabotage / assassination / hostage / all out attack)
People who have a BF or GF who use to be a "slut", explain your story?
37 dicks
What’s the greatest quote you have ever heard?
Not sure I’d call it the greatest ever but my 7 year old brother saying “Man that’s some dope ass shit bruh!” when I said I was making cupcakes was pretty good.
2020 has ended and 2021 has arrived. What are your predictions for the New Year?
People are going to treat the vaccine as a reason not to wear a mask. They'll probably not get the follow up shot and come down with Covid. Skeptics and shit stirers will use it to reinforce negative misconceptions going around.
What's your favorite topic starter with strangers?
\*slams down shot\* now, where did I park that damn car
What do you miss so much it hurts?
My mom
waiters/waitresses, what was the craziest customer that you ever served?
I used to work at a diner, one time a black couple came in, and I got them everything and went well even had a nice chat. Well after they left they handed me five dollars and told me to give it to one of my black co-worker who had just clocked in and they said give it to that young man right there rich cracker.
What is the best thing you can do using your hands(sfw)?
Hands are to create, so Id go with that.
If you found Aladdin's lamp, what 3 things would you wish for ?
1. I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life. 2. I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die. 3. My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth.
What were some good parts of 2020 for you?
Saved $9,000 this year and my daughter was born 4 months ago. Also the remodel of our house is going really well. 2020 has been good to me for the most part
What are your predictions for 2021?
Zombie apocalypse
What is the one TV show or Movie you discovered during 2020, that was released 2019 or earlier, that you had no idea about but everyone should he aware of?
AP Bio. Three seasons now, and it's fantastic!
What is y’all doing for New Years if you are not watching the entire second season of The Mandalorian?
Laying in bed with my screaming 4 month old
What is an actual, realistic resolution for New Years?
1920x1080
What was the weirdest jinx moment you had or witnessed?
When my wife and I both moaned my girl friends name during sex
What is the one thing you want to achieve most in your life?
Having a loving girlfriend
What words do you think have lost a depth of meaning for most people that can't be reclaimed in a mere dictionary definition?
Simp and Boomer
It is said, Blindly following ancient customs and traditions doesn’t mean that the dead are alive but that the living are dead, based on this what tradition needs to die for good?
What
People who haven't shat in 2021 yet, why are you still holding on to last year's shit?
People who have already reposted in 2021 yet, why?
Why the hell do villains take so long to press the damn button or to kill the hero when they're about to win? Like why?
Tension.
[Serious] What does being spiritual/practicing spirituality mean to you?
A collection of teachings and practices from many different religions for me. For example i enjoy practicing spells or learning about voodooism but there are useful stories from the Bible and karma is real too. I believe i am spiritual because i believe their is a higher spirit that guides everyone through life...
If there was a Mount Rushmore of figures in the movie industry who would be chiseled in the stone?
Morgan Freeman
Who Taught The First Teacher?
Life and experience.
If you could have any accent in the world, which one would you pick?
Australian 100%
What was the biggest troll of 2020?
Corona
What is the first song you listened to for 2021?
Its not 2021 for me yet so i dont know but I know the last song will be The Office theme song
What moments made you realize, “Oh shit, I’m a grownup?”
Getting excited about a new refrigerator.
How do you meet friends as an adult?
My therapist told me to say yes to everything I was invited to as long as it was legal and not morally conflicting. This means saying yes to things you wouldn't normally say yes to. Like if you don't like sports and someone invited you to a baseball game. The reasoning behind this is that you might meet someone there who has another common interest as you. I have yet to actually try this because of 2020 and the pandemic, but once I get that vaccine, I'm going to.
For those who still have time, what is something you want to do before 2020 ends?
Ooops too late for me but I managed to get everything done I need lol
What's the sketchiest situation you've ever been in?
i havent really had one, but my dad once walked down those super sketchy alleyways on NYC, and there was just a bunch of really sketchy people sitting there staring at him, drinking, playing cards, and so on. Makes me scared to think that the only reason those people didn't rob him was probably because he was young and a male