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t3_15hxur | relationships | My on-and-off bf[23M] says I'm[21F] "disrespectful" | I've been on and off with my boyfriend[23M] for about a year and a half now and we stopped talking for a couple weeks, but had a lengthy conversation today which had a lot of ups and downs. He said he doesn't feel like I act respectfully enough towards him and I admit, I can be a bit rude at times, but I think he feels like that towards everyone in general, and he's also threatened to hit me a few times, but then later swears he never will, and he hasn't. I guess that makes him sound really fucked up, but I haven't been perfect either and I need advice. | bf says I make him mad enough to want to hit me by being rude |
t3_17jciw | relationships | My girlfriend [23] is stunningly beautiful. I [m28] am not. | Throwaway because she's a redditor too. Apologies if this does not belong here, or isn't in the right place! Please let me know if that's the case.
Anyhow, I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over a month, though we've known each other for a number of years. She, as I mentioned, is very attractive. I'm a bit of a gargoyle. In an incredibly objective sense. She's very traditionally beautiful, and I'm pretty funny looking. You guys get it.
Now! I'm not posting this for sympathy, or to gush, or any of that stuff. I'm confident in our feelings for each other, in the strength of our relationship, etc. I don't lack self-respect, I'm not the jealous type, and I don't agonize about being inadequate or anything.
What I am curious about is perhaps not having access to her worldview or experiences, which, while not fundamentally different than mine, have a kind of overlay in certain spots that I'm not really going to get. I guess that's true of some things in any relationship, though. But I'm curious if anyone has ever been in a similar situation before and what sorts of issue developed. This is a difficult thing to talk to with my friends, generally, because they seem to think I'm just bragging. I'm quite sincere, damnit!
Again, apologies if this is too general, or if it's in the wrong spot. Thoughts? | My girlfriend is a few orders of magnitude more attractive than me; though I'm not feeling inadequate about it, I'm curious if anyone has been in this situation before, and the sorts of things you've encountered. |
t3_1763jb | loseit | Recently overcome bulimia, looking for ways to eat healthy and lose a bit of weight. | Hi!
This past summer, I developed bulimia as a reaction to a pretty rapid weight gain (in tandem with depression) and spent the past six months fighting to overcome it. I finally beat it in the past month or so, but now my eating habits are completely off. I don't eat breakfast or lunch, but then consume a whole bunch of food in the evening (I guess I don't really have a dinner, either, just grazing).
I'm vegetarian, I started exercising, and I'm working on not eating past satiation. But I haven't seen any noticeable changes in the past two weeks and I have problems with eating a salad at 5pm/feeling ravenous in 20 minutes.
Can anyone here offer any advice on how to start eating better/more regularly?
I'm 18 years old, female, 5 feet tall and currently ~105 pounds, looking to get back to 95 or so.
Thank you so much. :) | Had bulimia that messed up my eating patterns, I'm looking for help on how to get back to a semblance of normalcy. |
t3_188skg | BreakUps | I broke up after 7 years | Hello reddit,
Feel pretty trashed right now. Exactly 4 weeks ago I[25m] broke up with my girlfriend[28f] of 7 years. The story is: We met oddly. After misunderstanding we kissed. At the begining of relationship she cheated two times. She got real issues. I could have said 'bye bye', but trusted and believed her story. Issues were worked out. Never to return on her side at least(this I know for sure). Later she did hurt me couple of times. We moved abroad (had savings with us, each had its own pot) so after I got a job said "No worries, stop using savings we are living of my wallet". When lost my job after a year did not get the same treatment. Later on upon return she bought a horse which became huge liability for me. She became unemployed. She started company which also turned out to be liability for me. During the period she tended to shout at me for this and that. I know I can be lazy son of gun in the house. I know I sometimes can feel detachted. It was all ok. We had each other. Then I met someone. In bad timing. As my SO started to change. I could see that. She started to be more career active. Noticed that I cannot be the only one supporting family as I was. I could see the change, but I have fallen for the other person(tried to make sure its not lust, I guess its not, eventhough the other woman is very attractive). Felt like I met someone special, who understands me more.
We went through breakup. It was peaceful. Despite I have confessed to cheating on her with this girl. We shed tears. We comforted each for two straight days and she left my apartment(got the apartment from my parents, kind of). Now we are under NC. I am dating the other girl. But feel emotionally trashed, detached.
Any advice? I am not the kind of guy to ask around internet for my personal stuff. I was always solving it on my own. But I feel I am getting bad at it. | I was with a girl for 7 years. Emotionally and physically cheated on her. Dumped her. Broke her heart. Made big changes in her life. As she was trying to change for me. Can't live with guilt. |
t3_37hjpq | relationships | How do I [31 M] tell my Father [64 M] I don't want him to live next door? | My father has been a restless soul ever since him and my mother got a divorce 12 years ago, he's dated tons of women since then, bought and sold a few houses and changed jobs multiple times. He's getting ready to retire and I think he's tired of being on the go with everything and is getting a bit needy in his old age.
Well the house next door to my wife and I just recently came on the market for super cheap and needs a lot of work done to it and yesterday he brought up the idea of buying it and fixing it up to live in it. My wife and I have always enjoyed having our space and are homebodies, I'm sure he has the best intentions but it's just a bit too close for my wife and I. So how do I tell him this without destroying his feelings? | Dad wants to move in next door, we don't want him that close. |
t3_22apzi | tifu | TIFU By sleeping in class | I was dozing off in my college class. My teacher hates it when people sleep in her class, so she keeps asking me questions. After about 10 minutes in, she gets pissed that I'm still dozing off, teacher looks at me and says
"Mr. Quencher_ can you please pass around these sheets of paper?"
.... hoping I would wake up after this.
As I'm still sleepfucked, I think nothing of it, and go around the class handing one sheet out to each student. By the time I go back to sit down and sober up I see how big of a boner I had, and feel the looks of my classmates on me. | napwood |
t3_4cfdqc | relationships | How can I [27M] help ensure that my fiancée [27F] has a good bachelorette party? | This is quite unorthodoxed in a sense, but my fiancée (who I've been with for over 5 years) has her bachelorette party slated for this weekend. Mine was last weekend and my best man put a lot of effort into it, whereas her Maid of Honor is her sister who has very limited funds, lives far away and can't even make it up here. So nothing much was planned until around a month or so ago. Plans kept changing from a nice trip out East (Long Island) to a winery, but now it has dwindled down to dinner at my sisters apartment and a local bar.
I feel like crap. My fiancée deserves a nice bachelorette party and her friends are dropping the ball. My sister has been amazing and has opened up her apartment for them to have dinner and a place to relax for a bit before going out to a local bar she enjoys. One of the other girls has responded to texts, but others are quiet and not saying much at all. This is even a big deal for me because I want my fiancée to enjoy herself.
So what, as her fiancé, can I do to help ensure she has a good time? I've been coordinating with my sister about talking to the other girls. We've brainstormed some ideas and added in manicures/pedicures and a small wine bar in town, but I want some brainstormed, outside of the box ideas that they could easily implement that could help boost her special night. | Fiancée has her bachelorette party this weekend and I want to ensure that she has a good time. My sister (and a friend or two of hers) have been great, others not so much. |
t3_2rnxzo | offmychest | Restroom stall etiquette for god's sake. | This happened to me a few months ago at work. Every morning around 9-10am is when I feel the urge to drop a deuce. I'm automatic that way.
So I head out to our buildings public men's restroom which has but one toilet stall and one urinal. As you open the restroom door, you can tell right away someone is using said toilet because you can see dropped trou and feet right away. Again, because it's just one toilet, typically any normal person would head back to their office and wait the appropriate time one would need to finish their business.
So now I've just sat down and start the process of releasing my demons. During this time, a couple guys come in and as Guy #1 begins taking a leak, Guy #2 I assumed stood idle wating for his turn.
Now because I'm only half way through exorcising my large intestine, and I consider myself a gentleman, I felt it only right to pause the sounds effects. Guy #1 finishes up rather quickly and it's Guy #2's turn, so I thought. The urinal is adjacent to the toilet stall partition so you can tell when someone is using it. Guy #2 isn't, and now I'm wondering if he left with Guy #1. I wait a few seconds to confirm before continuing my end of days show, until I hear him cough. I realize then, this fucking guy is wating to use the toilet stall. GOD DAMN IT. This fucking guy stands right outside the stall waiting instead of stepping outside like any normal human fucking being.
10 minutes go by from the time he comes in and is still standing there like a dick and realize he's not fucking leaving. I wrap it up and as I open the door, give this asshole the shitiest (pun intended) look I could muster. He goes in, I wash up and head back to my office. About 15 minutes go by and am getting ready to go into a project meeting, when who comes into to the meeting? That fucking guy.
The awkwardness between each other couldn't have been more obvious.
Please, if your ever in need to use the can and there is but one stall, cut the guy using it a break and step outside. Don't be that fucking guy. | Guy waits to use the toilet right outside toilet stall. Ignoring proper toilet etiquette and wait outside restroom.We end up face to face in and awkward project meeting. FML |
t3_29awgu | relationships | Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [19 M] 6 months, his closest friend, should it bother me? | My boyfriend had a friend this past school year who lived close to him in the dorms and so found it convenient to come over often. She would text him at night and come hang out after I left. Sometimes she'd even get angry when he was with me and say things like she doesnt like being second choice. After I joined a club and became busy he would occupy his time with this friend when she was free. He claims that she wants to meet me but every time we see each other she avoids me and I have no chance to introduce myself. I also have been angry about the obsessive nature of the relationship but he has promised he'll work on it. I'm still worried though. Do I bring it up again before the new year or wait to see if things improve? Do I keep pushing to get introduced to her or let it go? | My boyfriend has an obsessive friend and it makes me jealous. |
t3_4trggn | relationships | Me [23 M] with my [21 F] Should I be jealous/concerned? | My girlfriend of 2 months(seeing each other for 11 months total) has a guy friend who she knew before we became official. They are both working in the same industry, but not for the same company. They hangout maybe 2-5 times a month, but maybe 3 times this past week. Two of the times it was with her friends. Another was to an event that was industry related for further career development.
I have no problem with her hanging out with guy friends because I personally don't see them as competition. What I do find odd is that she never tells me shes going to be hanging out with him specifically(she says "my friend"), I just find out through social media posts. Also the event she recently went to I recommended she attend(good for her career) knowing she would go with him. After the event they went to a bar afterwards and he posted an Instagram post saying how he "cant get enough of her"...this is where I feel the line has been crossed a bit.
Also I should note I have never met him. When my girlfriend and I are together it is usually just the two of us or my friends and a couple of her girlfriends.
Opinions? | Girlfriend hanging out with a guy, should I be concerned? |
t3_2tfyhm | relationships | I [28 m] am not happy with my marriage to my wife [26 F] much anymore. | We've been together for a while about 9 years married for 1. We have been fighting a lot lately we try to resolve it but I still feel like I am unheard in the whole thing. I've tried to talk to her about it but it turns into a whose at fault situation, I end up giving in and taking the blame, most of the time. Because I just get tired of fighting. We have our happy moments but its just to the same.
We dont go out a lot with our friend like we used to because she doesn't like my friends but gets upset if I go alone. I just get tired of it. We don't share money we split everything because she has trust issues with her brother steeling for her long ago. We've tried but it doesn't end up even starting because she "forgets" to put her money in or doesnt have it. Communication is pretty bad in this relationship it started out OK and has gradually declined. Sometimes Im OK with it but it ends up building up with me and I become an asshole without meaning to.
Some of our fights are just about little things our flatmates, money, who pays for dinner (mostly me because her income is for mostly her school and her bills) things like that. I'm just on the fence part of me wants to keep trying and part of me wants to just seek something a bit more investing. Either way its going to hurt I can feel it now.
Just looking for some advice or input on any views. | just not sure where what to do with my marriage. |
t3_49qvot | relationships | Me [41 M] with my wife [42 F] married 23 years, I feel trapped by her laziness | My wife and I were high school sweethearts and got married right out of high school. The plans that we both agreed to were that we'd move to the college I wanted to attend, I'd get a degree in a high paying field first, then she'd get her degree.
Well a baby happened and she never went to school. Once the kid got out of diapers I'd bring up school, a career, or volunteer work again. She'd always have an excuse and then start in with wanting another baby.
Wash rinse and repeat and now its 23 years later.
She is (in principle) a SAHM and has been our whole marriage but we don't really need her to be now because the kids are all practically grown. So I've brought up several times that she needs to go to school, get involved with a non-profit, start a business, or something...anything. Instead she sits at home and watches TV all day. She barely does any of the typical SAHM things like shopping, cooking, cleaning, planning activities for the kids, paying bills, etc. She either does nothing at all or else the bare minimum required.
I've really had it with her laziness and entitlement and after pursuing counseling and talking to her many times with an open mind, I've decided I'd really like out of the marriage.
The problem is that I'm very likely to have to pay her permanent alimony of most of my income. I make a very nice income and she makes nothing and has zero job skills or ambition. This drives me crazy because, while she hasn't worked or gone to school, it has been her choice. Out of our 23 years of marriage, maybe 6-8 years were actually needed where she was taking care of pre-school aged kids. The rest of the time was her literally sitting on her butt watching TV all day.
I'm looking for advice on what I should do. | Wife has been on a near permanent vacation for the last 23 years except for a few years raising small kids. I want out but would face egregious alimony payments because of her refusal to pursue an education, career, or any other worthwhile endeavor. Am I just SOL? |
t3_1099g2 | relationship_advice | Did she cheat or was it over? M/31 | My girl and I have been together for 2 years - the first six months long distance (international) and the back 8 months (international). For the last 3 months, our plans to be together are collapsing and we are basically in a floating relationship not headed anywhere. The love is there from both sides, but no tangible plans to see each other be with each other.
We still talk 4-5 times a week on messenger and skype. Its lovey-dovey and all that, though there always is that feeling of the elephant in the room we aren't really addressing.
Last night, she tells me she's been with someone. Feels bad, man.
But I will say that a very tiny part of me is happy for her. My big frustration is that she just didn't end it beforehand. But it's not like I could do it either. Very confused. | Did she cheat or was it over and nobody wanted to say it? |
t3_2cks4b | tifu | TIFU by having relations with my boyfriend in the living room. | Ok, so this just happened probably an hour ago.
I was at my boyfriend's house and we were alone. His parents were in bed and we usually use this time to our advantage by having "sexy time." In the past I have been nervous about doing it in the living room but this time the mood was just right and I decided it would be ok. Nope.
We start getting carried away and are completely naked on the couch when I hear a door open. I fling off him and jump to the closest place I could hide behind. Well, I accidentally jumped too far and banged my head on the fire place bricks. Then I hit my knee on the same fire place, and finally, I crawled behind a big recliner-type thing.
I'm cowering in fear behind this recliner, naked, while my boyfriend's dad barges in the room to see his son covered in only a blanket on the couch alone. The dad was only looking for sleeping medicine I guess. So the dad rumages around the kitchen looking for pills while my boyfriend quickly clothes himself under the blanket and says he fell asleep watching tv.
How could this guy not have seen me? Well I guess he didn't because little naked me hid behind that recliner so well he just went to bed like nothing happened.
Once he left, I got up and my boyfriend giggled a little. He got off scotch free. I, on the other hand, now have a giant bump and cut on my eye and my knee is swollen a little bit. | had sexy time with boyfriend but banged my head and knee on fire place while escaping embarrassment of getting caught by his father |
t3_2a8xfr | relationships | Waiting for an answer after confessing my feelings to my fwb/ex.. should I even bother? | My ex [22 M] and I [20 F] dated for a few months this year. During that time, I became very sick and missed weeks of school, so I was extremely stressed which i think put a strain on the relationship. I struggle with insecurity so things got really bad between us when he crossed a line with another girl, but I decided that I wanted to try and make it work. However, he ended things anyways because he was graduating and we didn't know if we'd be able to see each other very much after school ended.
We started sleeping together shortly after the break up and have continued to spend time together since then. I originally wanted to just keep things casual since I was so hurt by him before, but as we've become close again, my feelings have come back and I like him as much as ever. He told me that he still likes me as well, but didn't expect things to get more serious because of our history.
On Saturday, I told him in tears that I've realized that I want to be with him again and that we might have to stop seeing each other if he doesn't want the same because it hurts too much. He comforted me and lay with me thinking for a while, but obviously wasn't sure of what he wanted, so I told him that he didn't need to answer right then.
He still doesn't know and hasn't given me an answer. From what he's told me, it's because he's just worried that things will go back to being like before. I understand this concern, but it still hurts that he doesn't know if he likes me enough to try it, especially because I was the one who was wronged in the past. I will see him this weekend, and hopefully we can come to a resolution one way or another then.
Am I being unreasonable in feeling hurt that he couldn't answer me sooner? How do I stay patient and not get frustrated if he wants even more time to decide? If he can't make up his mind soon, should I try to just move on? | Ex and I had a somewhat nasty breakup. We start sleeping together again and feelings redevelop. I tell him that I want to be together. I'm waiting for his answer. Should I just give up on it if he is this unsure? |
t3_2maumu | loseit | LPT: Exercise or "lift" your neck during your weightloss journey to avoid the common end result of the watermelon on a stick look. | I have lost 80lbs so far and have been a long time lurker on loseit and progresspics. I started to notice a trend in final progress pics, especially in males, that resulted in the head being largely out of proportion to the neck. I'm sure there may be a reason, but I would not know. I also am not trying to encourage huge footballesque necks, but just one that is in proportion. I found myself in the same position during my weight loss and decided to do resistance neck training 2x a week and it greatly improved the proportion. Hope it helps and wish everyone well on their weightloss goals. | use resistance training on your neck during weight loss so your head doesn't look giant on your neck once you're fit/skinny. |
t3_2vgay3 | relationships | Me [21M] trying to work some issues out with the girl [20F] I'm seeing. Seeking suggestions if I should continue seeing her. | Hello everyone.
I am a 21 y/o guy and my name is Erik, and I'm seeing a girl who I really like. She great and attractive, and a joy to be around. But I'm facing some issues, which I want to address and require your help.
I haven't ever had a girlfriend. That doesn't mean I haven't been to dates. I've counted and there have been 5 girls I've ever liked in my life and this girl is the fifth. Been on dates but it didn't mature into a relationship.
And yes, that also means I'm a virgin if that matters. Due to my and the girl's religious beliefs, we won't have sex unless we get married.
Now, I have two issues with this girl.
Issue 1 - She hates that I am a non vegetarian. She has even asked me what I'll do if we get married. I told her that I will continue to be a non vegetarian especially as I only have such food perhaps once a week. She has said that if we get married, she won't allow me to cook such food at home. Only outside I'll be allowed to have meat/fish. I didn't like this at all as I'm a good cook and like to do most of my cooking. She said we can negotiate this, but I changed the topic as I felt uncomfortable.
Issue 2 - She also hates that I wear bermuda shorts at home. She says that it doesn't look good on guys and that I should wear three-quarter pants. I have been wearing shorts all my life and alongside jeans it's the only this I ever wear. The even more problematic part is she wears shorts almost always. I find it a bit hypocritical.
Do you guys think this girl is girlfriend material? | Maybe the girl I'm dating is trying to be a bit controlling? Need suggestions on how to react, and if she should be my prospective girlfriend. |
t3_2fvl3f | tifu | TIFU by punching a vulnerable adult | I work in adult foster care, and I came into work about an hour ago. I was talking to my coworker, and she asked me to grab the med count book. I said sure not thinking anything of it. Well, I was in the middle of telling her how I broke our work cats water bowl last night by knocking over a step latter with my butt. I grabbed the book from the closet not paying attention in to anything in the walk in closet we have.
Then walked out and handed her the book. She laughs and I just think she finds it funny that I destroyed the cats bowl. When I turn around the character from scream was standing in the fucking closet. I automatically freaked out and punched it in the face. Rather than nope-ing the fuck out of there like I should have.
Turns out it was my client playing a joke on me. I gave her a black eye. And had to write an incident report on it. I feel like a totally assshat. | I went to work, punched vulnerable scream face in the face. Turned out to be my poor client playing a joke on me. |
t3_17k8su | relationship_advice | Girlfriend got raped. FML | Here's the story:
I've been with this girl I love vor 3 years now and she constantly got hit on , I was somewhat used to it. Well, recently she went on a trip to Thailand and Asia for a few months because it was her life dream, I had to study but she was taking a friend with her I trusted and was sure she is safe.
Yesterday she told me she couldn't keep it for herself any longer and that a guy had sex wit her. It was a blurry party night more than a month ago and she apparently remembers next to nothing, except she could barely move or talk at all.
Somthing was put in her and her friends drink because he got robbed the same night.
She said she didn't go to the police because it needed some days before she realized what went on and because she didn't do anything against him.
Now I'm devastaded. I had to be there, to protect her. I just don't know how I will ever be able to let her go out again on her own. And how to trust her. Because there have been some alcohol related events in the past, one involving kissing one one of my best friends. I know what shes like when shes heavily drunk. She's a different person then, not knowing what she's done or said the next day. She's incredibly regretful herself, cryed her eyes out for days after said event with my friend.
She coped pretty well with the rape incident now, she's just regretful and apologizes all the time. In her mind, her not fighting back was enough to label it as consensual. And I don't even know what to think. I love her and I just want to find a way to:
- Trust her
- Prevent anything like this from ever happening again
- Find something to blame it all on. Maybe Alcohol? Because right now it's myself for not having been there.
I am visiting her in 2 weeks, staying there for a month and then both of us flying back home. But I really don't feel like visiting that cursed country at all. So... any advice on how to cope with this? How to trick my mind into dealing with it? Because everytime i visualize the whole event I just want to go hang myself. | Girlfriend got Raped while pretty much unconscious on Asia Vacation 1,5 Months ago, told me yesterday and doesn't label it as rape. I'm trying to deal with it the way I'm supposed to but I just don't know what that is. I just want to smash things right now. |
t3_3od7jz | tifu | TIFU by being aggressively self-righteous | Back in the 1980's my best friend and I rented a house in an upstate New York college town. Though neither of us had a car, it really raised my ire when entitled and/or oblivious college students would park in front of our driveway. Given that so many college students are entitled and/or oblivious, my ire was often raised.
In the fall of our first year in the house, I dumped piles of wet leaves on the wrongfully parked cars. In winter I dumped snow. And in spring, with nothing to dump, I just steel-toed big dents in the offended vehicles. I was an asshole.
One spring evening, from half a block away, I saw a shiny new Cadillac, with Ohio plates, blocking my driveway. I could barely contain my excitement. Glorious self-righteous vengeance would soon be mine. I approached the rich kid's Caddie, wound up, and crushed the rear quarter panel.
With a new spring in my step, I bounded up the stairs and into the house. I dropped my bag and stepped into the living room. "Hello, best friend" who hails from Cleveland. "And hello, best friend's father". | kicked the wrong car. |
t3_2lv4is | relationships | I [25M] need casual dating tips... bad. | Just got out of a 6 year relationship in which I was badly hurt. She had cheated on me multiple times, and told me she was unhappy... I had no freaking clue.
Having always been a "relationship guy," I always felt comfortable just being with someone, since I was 16. I have a very guilty conscience and have a difficult time thinking about hurting someone else's feelings...
With that being said, I am now getting back out there and trying to date new people. I have this **BAD** problem with getting attached very easily... and am trying to shake it, as I really feel I dont want a serious relationship yet. After going on a few dates with one girl, I'm coming to the conclusion that we do not have enough in common to continue the relationship.
I guess I just want to hear some rules to live by, from experienced casual daters...
How do I NOT get so easily attached to people?
Is it a bad idea to talk to ... let's say 3-4 girls at once?
What's the best way to tell a girl you have been seeing that you don't want to continue seeing her? | Awkward dude, fresh out of 6 year relationship. Looking for some tips from experienced casual daters. THANKS! |
t3_2p71qy | relationships | Me [32F]...Once a cheater, always a cheater? | Pretty much sums it up. I lurk on here a lot, and have seen cheaters take some heat...and this is the phrase that always pops up. I have been a cheater, numerous times, numerous relationships. My first love cheated on me, and I still remember that feeling of complete un-understanding of how you could do that to someone. After the second incident, I became obsessed with payback...and I am afraid this ruined me, oh so many years ago.
So, now...I am with the love of my life. It has been over 2 years, I have never felt this way before and never want it to change. But, reality will one day set in, and I am sure my emotions will fade from my current level of ewey-gooey-ness. I want to save myself, from myself...and never hurt this wonderful man.
I have physically cheated, I have emotionally cheated, I have done one without the other, and both at once...for various reasons. Never came clean. Current SO does not know about past cheating and I did not cheat on my last boyfriend with current SO.
Opinions, recommendations, personal experiences, anything? | Am I doomed with the "once a cheater, always a cheater" scenario? |
t3_2zqoe7 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my unrequited crush [20 M] of 1 year: I found out he has a girlfriend and I'm not handling it well. | Long story short: Met this guy at Uni, became friends but I suddenly fell in love with him. So I confessed my feelings but he tells me he's straight so we shrugged it off and decided to stay friends. We got pretty close but the situation began to make me depressed so I asked for some space. Eventually our friendship ended and now we're just acquaintances.
Last night my best friend came over and told me that she saw him with his girlfriend at a tea shop. I thought I had prepared myself enough for this - I knew it would happen one day but I'm really not taking it well right now. I've downed a few pills of 5-htp and I hope it helps. We're currently on Spring break so I have some time to think things through but I'm afraid to go back to school and see him knowing that he has a girlfriend now. We have the same classes and sit by each other in every class. We also share the same mutual friends in class. I see him every day so it's really hard for me to move on. A part of me wishes that he'd told me about it before I find out on my own but I know he was not obliged to. I really would like to tell him that I know about his girlfriend so I can continue working with him at school without having to deal with an elephant in the room. Or I could just stay completely quiet about it and just tough it out until the semester ends. | How do you get over a "workplace" unrequited crush? |
t3_2p23t0 | relationships | [Update] Me [21 M] with my GF [20 F] of 5 years, questioning the relationship | The original post can be found here:
So I don't know what to do at this point; I'm starting to have troubles sleeping because I'm just unhappy with the two paths that I'm left with. I either stay with her and accept the fact that, even if I eventually want to, I'll never have kids and our sex life will be close to non-existant, or we change our relationship in some way (open, break, or stop all together). I still love her immensely though, and I don't want to break her heart or make her feel like it is her fault. I talked to her a little bit last night about the problem, but I didn't directly approach it. She wants to call tonight, and I also visit her within 2 weeks. What should I do? v.v | I have no idea what to do with my relationship with my GF of 5 years due to the fact I still love her and want her to be my best friend but am not happy with the state of our relationship. |
t3_50czn6 | relationships | I'm bisexual[19M] and have a crush on my straight friend[20M] | I'm a bisexual male (19) and been out of the closet for almost an year now. But that's okay. Here's the tricky part.
A few months back, I told my *allegedly straight male* friend (20) that I have a huge crush on him. (That episode needs a post of its own) He was totally cool with it and just went LMFAO. After that we never brought it up again.
Since then we've had regular bro to bro exchanges and I didn't give my feelings a shit. But recently we've been more intimate physically giving each other a few massages, getting all touchy and stuff.
If it makes it any worse, its him almost every time, who makes the first move. Sometimes the sexual tension gets too damn high for me to handle, that I slowly slip out of the room.
I can't figure out what I should be doing, should I just steal the moment to kiss him or frame a weed party and blame the bong for the bang, in case it goes wrong?
I really don't want to ruin our thing. I'm not even sure if he's still straight and is just waiting for me to make the first call or just fooling around me. I feel like I need to talk this out with him but can't think of what I should say. Needless to say I secretly enjoy stuff he does.
I really need some help. Any advice is welcome. | I have a crush on my straight friend. He does things that arouse me. So help me bang him. |
t3_13s20s | AskReddit | My car's brakes going out turned out to be the thing to make my holidays. What seemingly horrible misfortunes have actual turned out into something that turned out ok or even made your holidays, Reddit? | So, week before thanksgiving, I invested all my savings into fixing my teeth before I lost my parents great insurance for good, my brain draining | Just read it. |
t3_ektiv | AskReddit | I slept naked with one of my friends. What can I do? | I was out at a friends place having some drink when my friend decided that she was going to go have a quick shower. After waiting for what seemed like ages she still wasn't out, I knocked on the door a few times but got no answer, so I went in to find her passed out, so i covered her with a towel and helped her out of the shower.
At this point my memory becomes really unclear but I woke up completely naked and in her bed. She wasn't there at the time but when I found her and asked her where she slept she said in the same bed.
Now I have been contemplating asking her out but another of our mutual friends say she isn't interested in me that way and just wants to be friends. What should I do, just leave it as is and have a bit of an awkward humorous story between us, or try and take things to the next level. (Biggest issue I have is I wouldn't want asking to ruin a friendship if she does say no) | Slept naked with a friend. thinkin about asking her out, what to do? |
t3_24440f | relationships | Guy friend (18m) keeps making jokes about me (18f) having sex with him. Not sure if he's actually sexually attracted to me. | We've been friends since we were both 15, so we're quite comfortable around each other & make sexual jokes all the time. However, nowadays he makes explicit jokes about *us* having sex. For example on his birthday I told him I had a nice present for him and he replied "I'll be really happy if its you, naked and on my bed". Whenever he says that kind of stuff I just assume it's just a joke with no meaning behind it.
He's also a lot more "touchy" nowadays and likes to touch my face, hands and my waist. He also has a habit of picking me up whenever we hug (he's been only doing that for the past couple of months though). | Guy friend makes jokes about us having sex and I'm not sure if it's just friendly or not. |
t3_3gbe8g | relationships | Should I chase my lifelong crush/best friend? | So the girl in question is someone I went to grade school with for 9 years (k-8) and then we went separate ways for highschool in the same town. We didn't hang out all that much but still talk, joke around, and see alot of each other over summers now. We go to different colleges so when we are back on breaks we try to get the gang back together all the time to hang out. The only amount of time I've spent with just her is when we went on some mission trips together back in hs. She's been a lifelong crush and we honestly get along amazingly as friends. So my foremost question is, is it even worth risking the friendship for something more or is this something better left untouched? I love hanging out with her and our friends and I've always wanted something more but don't want to throw it away just trying and coming up empty. I know this is probabaly relationship/seduction 101 but my minds all over the place about it. Any help is good help. Btw I'm 20 and she is 19 | Should I lay it all on the table for my gs/hs crush or is this a relationship no-go? |
t3_onscn | AskReddit | Do you guys know of a good trick to get rid of performance anxiety, e.g. during public speaking? | So for the longest time I've had trouble with public speaking and performing in front of others (even though I played competitive sports for the last decade or so with no real anxiety). One-on-one or in a small group, I have no problems at all, but if I'm speaking in front of a large group of people or know that someone is looking over my shoulder, I get really shaken up. My heart starts pounding and HR skyrockets, I start sweating, my voice quivers horribly (probably the most embarrassing thing), and my face turns beet red.
I was wondering if any of you guys had figured out a way to prevent this, especially the quivering voice and facial flushing. I'm looking more for tricks and techniques that I could use at a moment's notice, things to think about or even physiologic "hacks" like a breathing technique. I'd rather avoid meds at all costs, even though I'm pretty sure a beta-blocker or anxiolytic would probably help. | How can I stop my voice from quivering and turning red-in-the-face? |
t3_yl6n2 | dating_advice | Should I move on? | I'm F/25. Over a year ago, I dated this guy briefly (a few months) and he is quite possibly everything I've ever wanted. He has so many great qualities and honestly I had never felt that way about someone before and I haven't since. Everything was going perfectly. I felt like I was in a movie. I could describe it in all sorts of cliche ways. Seemingly out of the blue he dumped me without much of an explanation, just said that he thought we were at different points in our life and looking for different things. I was hurt and confused and pressed him for more of a reason because I felt like that was a bullshit excuse. He told me that he had feelings for someone else and he didn't feel right dating me if he felt something for another woman. I accepted that and left him alone and tried to mend my broken heart.
I've dated since then, even had a relationship since then (which is now over) but I still cannot get the above guy out of my head. I'm the kind of person who has always been sort of afraid of commitment, not really understanding the appeal of long-term monogamy, but I could easily see myself being with him and only him.
I can see more clearly now that we definitely were at different points in our lives like he said. I was just out of college and still had some of that part of my life to get out of my system. Not that I was ever a huge partyer, but I was going out A LOT! While we had so much in common, I could understand why that might have been unappealing to him. I was working a part time job and living with my parents. But I've grown up so much since then and gotten my life together.
About a month after he dumped me, I asked him if he wanted to go see a play with me just as friends and he said that would be fun, but I cancelled on him because I thought it would just cause me pain. And I haven't talked to him since. I know he is still single. Should I see if he wants to go out sometime? I feel like there is still hope. Or should I move on with my life? | Should I call up an old flame? Or should I move on? |
t3_4mu8fd | relationships | Is what my (13/f) dad (45ish/m) does normal? | I don't know if I'm sounding crazy or not. I can't talk to anyone in real life about it. Thanks in advance.
Sometimes my dad does things that feel weird to me. I don't think he knows. My mom says he has Asperger's, but it's not diagnosed, but that makes sense to me. He is really sensitive to loud noises and he gets angry at little things easily, and it's hard to explain, but sometimes - especially when my parents argue - it's like he doesn't really know how to talk to other people. He does computer stuff.
That's not the problem though. He has always been a really good dad but I've noticed lately that he does things that sort of creep me out. He likes to hug me and my sister (11) a lot, nothing weird or sexual, he can just be pyhsically affectionate. He likes to pat our shoulders and rub our backs and things like that. again it's never sexual. He smiles a lot and will sometimes just kind of stare at us, but he does that to a lot of people. But it makes me feel really weird to the point where I make an excuse to leave and go to the bathroom and just sit there for a while to be by myself.
also I don't know how to explain it, but sometimes when he talks it hurts my head. Like I feel the need to get away from him, like nails on a chalkboard, but I don't know why.
It makes me feel crazy because nobody notices anything or is bothered, and he's not doing anything WRONG, it just makes me feel weird and I don't like it at all. My mom is starting to notice that I don't like to look at him anymore and don't talk as much. I don't know if this is normal because I'm starting to go through puberty or what. has anyone else felt like this? | My dad does things that creep me out but I don't think he means them. Is it normal, what do I do? |
t3_3onxfu | relationships | Me [24F] with my boyfriend [25M] of 2.5 years. He insists on keeping the temperature in our apartment at 81 degrees at all times. I am roasting to death. | I never thought before moving in with my boyfriend that this would become a major problem. I knew that he was "cold natured," but I guess I never realized how bad it was until now. I just moved in to his place mid-summer.
We live in a part of the country where it's just starting to get colder, and for the past two weeks my boyfriend has been keeping the temperature between 81-85 degrees each day. The apartment is so balmy that I am absolutely miserable. I can't even sleep through the night without waking up in the morning sweating.
I tried turning down the heat a few times, but each time he complained and said that I was trying to freeze him to death. I suggested that maybe he could wear more clothes, but he said that he shouldn't have to be uncomfortable in his own home (he wears at most a light t-shirt and boxers or gym shorts), as if it isn't my home, too. I also have asked for him to let me run fans, but he says that the breeze makes him too cold.
He has no medical condition (already been checked by a doctor), so there really is no explanation for why he is cold all the time. I don't doubt that he is being honest with me, but I would be lying if I said that I could spend the next 6 months like this.
Is there some other compromise that I haven't thought of -- some way for us to both be comfortable? | Boyfriend refuses to keep temperature in our apartment below 81 degrees. I am roasting to death, but he refuses to compromise. Is there any solution that can keep us both happy? |
t3_4n7ty7 | relationships | I [27F] broke it off with my BF [28M] of 4 years. So why am I the one crying myself to sleep over the breakup? | In short: I broke up with my SO of 4 years a little under 2 weeks ago and he's already on dating sites and is seeing a girl and being intimate with her. It's fucking hurting my heart and I know I have no right whatsoever to be upset but I just am. I've been trying to be so strong about this whole breakup because it's the right thing to do even though I still love him and today I'm just breaking down and I hate it. I don't want to feel this shit.
I think it's hardest because we still live together. He's moving out in a week which will be healthier for us both but the thought of him not being here makes me even sadder.
I'm starting to question my decision to break up all together. But I know deep down I've done the right thing for both of us. I just couldn't really see a long term future for us anymore as we have different core values and boundaries lets just say. Our relationship definitely wasn't perfect, and the reasons I chose to break up with him were valid and reasonable to even him even though he thought we could eventually fix any issue. But it doesn't take away from the fact that I love being around him and spending all of my time just doing nothing with him. There's going to be such a massive hole in my life now and I don't really want to let it go, but I have to.
It's taking every ounce of my willpower not to walk into his room and beg him to cuddle me and make me feel better for just a moment. I know that it would just make everything worse but man I miss him already and he's only 10 ft away. Stupid heart. | broke up with bf and he "moved on" really fast. It's unleashed my pent up sadness about the breakup and I'm starting to question my decision/fighting the urge to change my mind. |
t3_3jxlkx | relationships | Me [24F] with my boyfriend [29 M] , 9 months, can't stand his smoking anymore | Pardon my English, its not my first language
I met my boyfriend online. We were in a long distance relationship for a 2 months before I moved back to his town.
Before we met, he told me he smoked cigarettes but socially. I was ok with that. I thought that If he needed a cigar to calm his nerves , its alright. I do not smoke.
After we met, It turns out that he's a chain smoker. He takes at least 3 packs of cigarettes a day. After some months of dating him, I just couldn't take it anymore. After we visit each other, I reek of cigarettes. My clothes, my purses, my hair, the bed-sheet. Everything stinks. Sometimes I have to re-do my laundry. I have even stopped him from visiting my apartment. I always tell him i prefer to go to his place. He smokes inside the house and car so the smoke is directly on me .
I talked to him about this. I told him that the smoke stinks everywhere up so bad and that I have to wash my clothes after I visit him. He got really mad and we didn't talk for days. I don't bother him anymore.
I love my boyfriend but recently, I cannot take the smoking. Its also starting to affect him medically , his teeth is rotten and he coughs chronically. I tell him to stop at least for his health and he starts to give examples of non-smokers who died early or smokers who live long.
I am at my wits end because everything and everywhere stink and cigarette butts are everywhere.
How do I tell him to stop?? Or do you think its time to end the relationship? | Boyfriend smokes too much and I cannot take it any longer! |
t3_qhehs | AskReddit | Just got 'robbed' and I need some advice. | Hi Reddit! I need some advice.
I moved to a new area recently and was looking for a place to get some trees. I finally found someone who was willing to help me out and met him Saturday night to make a trade. The only way that we corresponded was through email. I was definitely skeptical about the situation, but desperate to get some trees, so I decided to take the risk. He seemed legit, but there were some things that just weren't adding up. He entered my car and told me that I had to give him the money and he'd be right back out. He even gave me his cell phone as 'collateral'. This all set uneasily in my stomach, but I gave him my money and took is phone and waited. About 15 minutes later, I realize that he isn't coming back. I look at the phone that he gave me and it won't turn on. I open the back and the battery and sim card are both gone. At this point I realize that I've been taken advantage of and I've lost almost $400. I feel like a fucking idiot. There are so many things I wish I had done differently at the time. But what can I do now? I have a dead phone, his email address, and his name (probably all not his). With what I've got, is there anything I can do to intimidate him or get retribution?
Any help would be appreciated. | Looking for trees, gave a guy money with his phone for 'collateral' and he never came back. What can I do to get retribution? |
t3_ys6d1 | relationships | I need help navigating life mid-divorce with no money or family. Any advice is appreciated! | The basics:
Me- 26/ F
Him- 29/ M
We have been together for seven years, married for four. We have to kids (ages 4 and 6)
I betrayed him financially numerous times in the past, and after the most recent incident, Im pretty sure we are done. I take all blame for our marriage ending. We are both broke as a joke (especially now after my most recent financial indiscretion) and rent a home that neither of us could afford by ourselves.
The problem is- what do I do now!?
We have two kids. I have a job making $9.00/hr. with no family or other support system. He makes almost twice as much as me and has a TON of help from his parents, who would let him move back in with them in a second. They also live ~100 miles away.
How do I not lose my kids in all this? Secondly- how do I live with no money!? I know there are support programs for single moms, but do you have to have proof of divorce? Do they kick in right away? What do I do in the meantime? How to I pay for a place to live when I cant afford food or utilities? What do I do in the divorce when I cant afford a lawyer? I literally have no savings (and am in fact in debt up to my eyeballs- in case you couldnt guess by the serious lack of financial planning skills demonstrated in the cause of our divorce).
Pretty much, I have no idea what to do next. Please tell me theres someone else out there whose been in a similar situation who can at least point me in the right direction. Literally, the only thing that matters to me in all this is keeping my kids and keeping them safe and fed.
I know Im the bad guy here, but does anyone have any advice?
( | Im a super broke asshole who wants to keep her kids in the divorce.) |
t3_2n0iq2 | tifu | TIFU for being a male | Today I was verbally assaulted by a collective of psychotic feminists.
It all started when I got on the bus to work this morning. The second I stepped on I could here a loud group of women chatting in the back. Like any other day I just sat down in my usual seat, which was a row in front. I just put my headphones in and zoned out.
Maybe five minutes later I notice a woman from the group comes and sits beside me. I don't think about it too heavily and zone out again. Then I feel a hard tug on my earbud.
"What the are you doing?" I said to her.
"Do I have to fucking repeat myself!" she angrily said.
Apparently her group was concerned why I decided to sit so close to the group when the bus was empty and it was scaring them. I just explained it was my usual spot but they didn't buy it. After I said that I here
"Typical white males" under one of their breath. (THESE ARE ALL WHITE FEMALES)
I then decide enough is fucking enough and stand up and ask her to move.
"OH YOU WANT ME TO OBEY YOU? YOU WANT TO STEP ALL OVER US?"
"No I just want to stop smelling your B.O." is what I wish I said.
I told her I'm gonna force my self through her if she doesn't move, but she just continued to spur her ultra-feminist bullshit. I'm then like "fuck it" and try to navigate around the whale.
As I force myself around her they all start freaking the fuck out. She's yelling "RAPE HELP BUS DRIVING HES RAPING ME" and one of them tried to pepper spray me but fucking sprayed her friend in the face.
The bus driver asks what the fuck is going on and I said that I was being harrased by them. I then got off the bus and waited for the next one. Was late for work but it's better than being with those fucking lunatics. | don't take the 7:15 bus |
t3_336xq6 | relationships | [28M] with my girfriend [27F] of six months. "If you ever got fat I'd break up with you". | My current girlfriend is one of the nicest people I've never met and she's absolutely fantastic to be around. However, a little over a month ago she asked me if I would break up with her if she gained weight (she's petite). I thought it was kind of an odd question, and I replied 'No, of course not'. She then went on to say that if I ever gained weight (I work out regularly) she'd break up with me.
I brushed it off and never really thought about it again until we were at dinner a few weeks later and she mentioned it a second time. She went on to say "You can be short (I'm 5'7") or you can be fat, but you can't be both."
I didn't say anything at the time, and I know she kind of has a point most women generally aren't attracted to shorter guys. However, this really seemed to hit me in the stomach and I can't stop thinking about it. Am I overreacting? | Girlfriend said I can't be short and fat. |
t3_3kl2z2 | relationships | My BF[19/M] and I[20/F] thinking of moving in together due to my family problems. | (Sorry if this is a long post!)
**backstory**: I've been struggling with depression and social anxiety most of my life. Since I started dating my current bf, he has become my main motivator for everything, while my family diss me and bring up past problems constantly to their own benefit.
I do think my parents are narcissitic, since neither of them wanted to help me pay for professional help and think I'm bluffing (just so they don't spend their money). They are divorced, and my dad has another family on the side (reason as to why he doesn't want to help out).
I live with my mother, her SO, and my sister with her 2 kids.
My siblings call me lazy and think they're supreme beings because they're drop outs but have a stable job, are parents, etc.
Basically, none of my family members have supported me in anything, and to put the cherry on the cake, it seems as though I'm being disowned, seeing as a cousin (we're a close family) took **my** bed for his own place and my mom didn't do anything about it. Things in my original room have been moved to the smallest room in the house and I still have no place to sleep there if I go back.
My boyfriend of 2 years has suggested countless times to move in with him (and his family), due to all the drama I've been dealing with in the past year. I've been staying at his place for the past few months and I'm starting to think it is best for me. I've been seeing a lot of improvement with my mental health, thanks to my BF's family being very accepting and getting endless support from my BF. | My family has been unsupportive and emotionally abusing me to the point where I can't go back "home". BF suggests I move in with him and his family. Have been staying at his place for the past few months and it's helped more than expected. Need some perspective on this before I have a final answer. |
t3_52b2rb | travel | What are nice national parks to visit in the US in November?(would prefer no snow) | Hey there,
I've got some vacation time left I have to use this year, but it's only really possible in November. I would love to travel to the US again. I was there two years ago doing a roadtrip visiting several national parks in california (joshua, death valley, seqouia, yosemite), arizona (grand canyon) and Utah (bryce and zion).
I really would love to see similar things to those nationalparks (especially Zion was great), also for example yellowstone. But I guess November is already a time where you got cold weather and snow in many of those parks, and while I'm used to snow (from austria) I would prefer not driving through snow and wandering around in cold weather.
Currently I'm looking into basically everything in that line from arizona to georgia, but I'm pretty sure I can get some great advice here.
So what's your favorite nationalpark to visit in november?
And if there's a nice area to see, even if it's winter with snow there you can let me know, I'm open to different ideas too. | Want to see some nice nationalparks/areas in the US in November while not having snow. Any advice? |
t3_i28hj | AskReddit | Are you (or do you know someone who is) a researcher in evolutionary biology and/or epigenetics? | Hi AskReddit :)
So, the short version is that I'm pretty unhappy in my current line of work, and contemplating possible future paths. I'm quite fascinated by evolutionary biology and lately, epigenetics. My academic background includes engineering and mathematics, so the academic sciences aspect of this field isn't off-putting.
However, before I start taking steps toward a possible career change, I'd like the chance to talk to / shadow / observe someone (or ideally more than one person) who has been through this path academically and currently has a career in it. What's great about it? What really sucked or does suck? (Writing research grants, yeah. Blergh.) Is the fascinating new stuff that's being learned, and the potential to be part of that, worth whatever the headaches are? | you work in evolutionary biology and/or epigenetics? What's great and terrible about it? |
t3_10lk1h | AskReddit | I'm 6 months into my first job after college. It's not bad, and the pay is decent, but it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. How long should I stay before looking for something else? | Some background info:
I don't dislike the job, and it pays well. Although the job can get lonely/boring at times due to being the only person under 30 on my team. I'm also currently working as a programmer on a team of non-technical staff, so there's lots times that I've serving more as tech-support than working on an actual project. They appreciate the job I do, and I certainly wouldn't leave suddenly as it would make a lot of people's lives difficult, but I feel like I should eventually try and move towards the area I want to work for in the future (Information Security).
I keep telling myself I should stay around a while and gain some work experience (I am learning, but as the only techie on my team, it's all self-taught / googling).
Has anyone else been in the same situation? Is there a certain time period you should stick around a new job to avoid bad references/hurt feelings? (1 year, 2 years?) | I'm content with my job, but I know I need to make a change eventually. How soon should I do it? |
t3_22xtzz | relationships | Me [17M], I seem to always obsess from girl to girl | I'm gonna keep this pretty short and sweet as I'm not exactly sure how helpful detail can be, but I'll add as much as I think is necessary.
Basically, I have this problem where I seem to obsess over every love interest I have. When I meet a girl and I think I like her, I cannot get her out of my mind. It's my goal to meet her, learn about her, get to know her. I'll sit in my room, and if it's been long enough, I'll whip up theoretical scenarios where I ask this girl out or maybe even sexual fantasies (sexual fantasies are much less so now as I've actually stopped watching porn/masturbating).
Then I'll talk it up to my friends that there's this potential girl I like but I don't wanna reveal to anyone that I like this girl because I'm afraid she may not like me back or this or that. Yet I'll continually chat it up to people that I like this girl!
This is a cycle I've been going through since middle school, really. I guess my life has been mostly chasing girls since I've hit puberty. My question is, is this normal? Should I be attempting to divert my attention to other things? Is this obsessive behavior okay? Should I be worried?
If you need any more details, I'm willing to explain further, but I thought this might suffice for the purpose of my questions. | I obsess over girls, and they're always in my mind and always in my conversations. I'm not a sleazebag, I just usually pick a girl and pursue it until I move on to the next girl. |
t3_117f5w | relationships | Help with stupid high school drama. | So I [18M] have recently fallen for a friend of mine [17F] who happens to be one of my close friend's ex-girlfriend. I just learned that he is desperately trying to get her back. When they broke up, he ended their relationship and immediately went to another girl within an hour. After about two weeks, that relationship crashed and burned, and he began to regret ever breaking up with her initially, and he is now trying to fix his mistake.
I'm trying to figure out what I should do. According to another mutual friend, she is into me, and doesn't want anything more than a friendship with my friend (her ex). On the other hand, I see how crappy my friend feels about what he did and how hard he is trying to fix it. What should I do? | Should I compete with a friend over a girl? |
t3_1rwdow | relationships | I (16M) am being set up with my friend's friend (17/18F) and I have no idea what I am doing. | I'm a junior in highschool, and decently good friends with a senior girl. She messaged me today that I would be a perfect match for her friend.
She said "what you are, or what you pretend to be like, is exactly what shes looking for."
I asked for clarification and she said I wear leather jackets and pretend to be all cool, and thats what she was referring to.
Anyway, she invited me to her new years party where im supposed to meet her friend for a kind of blind date.
She says her friend has a very strong personality and loves confident guys, so if I was going to make a move I needed to make it strong.
I have no idea what im doing. I dont know what im going to talk about, I dont know how im going to transition from stranger to making a move, and im just overall lost.
Any advice? | Blind date and I have no idea what im doing. |
t3_gb1ms | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, long time lurker recently decided to take the plunge and create an account, now I could use some loan advice please! | I'm in a hard financial position right now, as I'm sure most of the country is. I'm a student who is graduating in May and I just found a new apartment that I'm looking move into as the lease on my current one is up the end of April. The problem is that I need to take out a loan to pay for the down deposit because I have very little money. I have a full time job lined up starting the beginning of June so I need money to survive until my first paycheck. My credit score is 673 according to freecreditreport.com. My question is does anybody know any lenders that will lend to someone in my position, my credit cards are maxed out, I have 40k in school loan debt, however I have never missed a payment but have less than 2 years credit history, excluding my student loans. I need a loan ASAP I really do not care what the interest rates are, I only need $3,000 which I think is a relatively small amount for a loan. Thanks for the advice guys. | What is a reliable lender for a $3,000 loan with my 673 credit score that can accept / deny relatively quickly, I need it like now. Also, I live in Rhode Island if that matters at all. |
t3_3xh2hr | pettyrevenge | Cut me in line? Prepare to be extremely uncomfortable. | I went to my professor's office hours to get some points back on an exam. There were quite a few people hoping to accomplish the same thing. The way it normally works is people just keep track of who was there before them and who arrived after them. Once there's only a few people left, a queue actually begins to form.
Now, I knew where I was supposed to get points back and that it would take me maybe 5 minutes for her to regrade the question (it was from a TA grading error). Most people were there to grovel for points back by going through each problem with the professor hoping she'd give them some back. That tends to take 10-20 minutes per person. We are all waiting in the hallway while 1 person goes in at a time to speak to the professor.
Enter megabitch (MB). She walked over to us and was asking all these questions about the line, grading, and where we could get our exams. It's conversation, whatever. Then she leaves. Then about 30 minutes later, she comes back. By this point, the line has dwindled. A little bit later, the queue forms and **the bitch cut in front of me!**
I really don't feel like making a scene, but I'll be damned if I have to wait another 20 minutes while she begs for enough points to pass. Just when it's down to the two of us in the hallway, my boyfriend arrives. He was there earlier, but left to buy us another parking pass.
*Perfect.* I realize it's the perfect opportunity to make MB feel extremely uncomfortable since it's only us in the hallway and the professor's door is closed while she speaks to another student. I start flirting with the boyfriend. Kissing him loudly, telling him what I'm going to do to him, etc. In the corner of my eye, I can see MB start to squirm with discomfort and the look on her face of *kill me now.* This goes on for about 20 minutes. MB took about 15 minutes while I took less than 5. I hope those 5 minutes were worth it. | I was waiting to speak to my professor. Bitch shows up for a few minutes, leaves, comes back 30 minutes later, then cuts me in line. When it was just us in the hallway and the professor's door was closed, I spent 20+ minutes talking dirty and making out with my boyfriend. Bitch squirmed with discomfort for 20 minutes and it was glorious. |
t3_1nw45u | relationships | I[17F] don't know how to deal with my Bf[24M] being gone for 4 months. | My boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 months. Everything about him meshed so perfectly with me. He's an ex Sea Bee, currently working on getting his GED. He's dealing with PTSD and some severe depression. When he got back from deployment, he became homeless and has dealt with a ton of shit. He was checked into a rehab facility about 2 weeks ago for a 4 month program. 6 days ago his phone was shut off because he couldn't pay.
I'm a very codependent person and being away from him for this long just seems impossible. How can I deal with this? Is there anything I can do to make it seem not as long?
Before you comment on the age gap, both of our families approve, and it's like we're two peas in a pod. | Bf has PTSD, in treatment facility for 4 months, his phone is off and I dont know how to cope without him. |
t3_4bewsw | relationships | Dating advice for shy & inexperienced [23M] on 3rd date with [24F] | I've been on two dates so far with a third lined up with a girl I was friends with before. So far the conversation on the first two dates have been of a get to know you type. Having been friends with her before I think we both know each other quite well now.
We're both quite shy and I'm pretty inexperienced when it comes to dating having only been on a handful of dates before.
I'm just struggling on how to get the date into the next level eg more than just casual get to know you conversation topics. I guess my worry is that so far its been like having dinner with a friend, how do I turn it into more of a "date" and get more personal. What topics do you normally discuss on/by the third date besides general getting to know you questions?
Any general dating types for someone who is shy / inexperienced? | Both of us are shy and me being new to dating not sure how to progress to the next level. |
t3_2fbgkm | relationships | Friend[22M] is stuck in an complicated relationship. Need advice | So my friend has fallen in love with this girl he has known and so has she. The only problem is that she is seeing someone else and has for the past yr. He didnt know that when they started to fool around and found out. So they been "together" for the past 5 months. He tried to tell her to dump her current bf but she cant.
So I wanna is there a way they can do it with hurting the other person too badly.
Extra info:
The guy goes to the same school as her and she gives him rides.
Everybody (her family and friends) prefers my friend over him.
She wont break up with the guy bcuz there isn't a really reason to.
I wanna know how u guys would handy it or those who been through it dealt with it? And those who were on the other side of it. | what's a way/excuse to break up with someone to b with someone else without damaging the other person. |
t3_22xq0w | jobs | Explaining that you worked for your family. | I started working for my family's fast food restaurant right after I graduated from college in 2011. I was having trouble finding a job and my family said they needed my help so it made sense at the time. My cousin is now available to take over from me so I can move on.
So how should I go about explaining this on my resume? Do I list it like a regular job? Should I just tell the interviewer right away or wait until they ask. If they ask for a cover letter, do I say it there? I am a little concerned and lost since I never had a real job outside the family business (I also worked there part time while in school).
If it helps, I am planning on applying to a couple of bank teller positions in my area. I really need to start building my resume and my cashier experience seems like it will transfer over well. I'm also not opposed to a career in banking either since my major was in econ. Tips as to what other jobs I should look into would be appreciated as well though I would like to stay far away from the restaurant industry. | Only worked for family business, how do I explain this on a resume/interview? |
t3_2v97l1 | tifu | TIFU by playing games during a tutorial. | **Background**: A tutorial is pretty much where students in university are split up into groups with tutor's that are either master students or ones finishing their bachelor. I have these 3 days a week.
*Fast Forward* to the tutorial I had on friday. I always find these the most uninteresting, since I always just want to get it over with and go back to my dorm. So I either end up reading some TIFU's on reddit or playing poker on my phone.
I was kind of on a roll and ended up with a strong hand (AA). I shoved all in and two players called me. At this point my tutor supposedly had asked me to read out one of the questions in the book (I was not paying attention *AT ALL*). The cards were drawn and I ended up losing a lot of my chips. Frustrated I sighed, *"go suck a dick wow"*. Only to look up and see everyone looking at me and the tutor shocked not knowing what to say.
Ended up having to say sorry over 100 times later on begging for forgiveness as he could potentially fail me. | Don't play anything that can make you rage during class. |
t3_45sr3z | relationships | Should I [26F] with try to contact (30M)]? | Hello;
I'm not a huge dater, and probably read too many books and watch too many movies, so need some real world advice as to if there's anything I can do.
I used to see this guy "Allan" every day. He worked at a company I did a drop off at every morning. We would spend a lot of time talking to each other. I'm not great with hints, but he'd drop in that he was single and that he liked certain things I would do (volunteer to cover a shift for someone, that type of stuff). I never made a move because a) I'm terrible at reading that type of stuff, and b) we had a business relationship.
Now that he's gone, I'd like to contact him and see if he'd like to get together. Problem is I don't have his cell number (any contact we had would be through the company's phone), and it would be even sketchier if I showed up where he works now. He doesn't have facebook, but he does have instagram. Granted, I don't know if he even uses it or realizes he still has it, but I think my only option would be to send him a message on there saying I came across his profile thing and if he has any free time and wants to get together, I'd like to get to know him better.
The upside, I figure, is that I would never know if he even saw it, so the sting of rejection is slightly less lol.
So in summary, question is is it sketchy/desperate to do that? | Is sending a message via instagram sketchy? |
t3_4upndq | relationships | I [30f] feel like a loser for not having people to invite to my wedding | My parents keep to themselves a lot so they don't have any close friends that they would invite. They are from small families, too, and aren't very close to their siblings, so there's no one really on their side that would attend.
On my end, I don't have many friends. I'm the type of person that has a few close friends and I've always been happy with that. I have about a dozen or so friends I made in graduate school that I'd also like to invite, but I don't have any childhood, high school or college friends I can invite. I was pretty much a loner most of my life and our family moved around a lot.
I actually really like and prefer the idea of small intimate weddings, but I'm honestly a bit embarrassed that I won't have many wedding guests. My fiance is ok with having a small wedding, but he has a big extended family and if we were to have a big wedding, he would have no problem filling up the guest list.
I feel deeply insecure about this. I know it's irrational, but I feel insecure about this a lot. I just feel like a big loser. Asides from two or three close friends, I fear that the other dozen or so friends I made in graduate school would actually be surprised that I would invite them because we weren't awfully close. How do I stop feeling like a loser? | i feel like a loser because I don't have many friends or people I can invite to my small wedding. How do I stop feeling this way? |
t3_4hli5k | askwomenadvice | Can't tell if she likes me or not and making the first move. | I'm a 22 year old guy, I'm definitely on the heaver side but I'm working to loose that. I met this girl through the volunteer organization we both work for, rotary. This past weekend we had a rotary event we were both at. We have never hung out in a non rotary sense until this weekend. I had to give a speech but then i have a party afterward i half jokingly asked her to come as moral support then join me at the party. She said yes kinda surprisingly. So she came to the speech, She came to the party and as far as i could tell she had as great a time as i did. The next day we were hungover and had to do the orientation we had planned. By the time she headed home i realized i really liked her. I just am very dense and im trying to figure out if she feels at all the same way, and whether i should try to ask her out or if that would be a mistake, and if i do what should be my first move. | !- Got closer with a girl that i haven't had much personal interaction with, had a great time and fell for her, what do? |
t3_3pzj81 | Advice | Need help with parents and university | So as you all know, the college app season is upon us and everyone is super stressed and anxious and I'm having such a hard time with my mom. She very recently got diagnosed with cancer again (3rd time) and is extremely opposed to me going to a university that is about 2 and half hour drive away. They want me to commute 40 minutes to a university that is extremely new and small and I'm not exaggerating is in the middle of nowhere and has nothing to do. Both of my older brothers go there and have no complaints because they are not social people so it seems so crazy and new that I actually want to leave and go to a better university (UC Santa Cruz).
Because she has cancer, she wants the whole family to stay together for as long as possible because it is pretty serious this time around. I understand this, and I get it, and I want it to. But I know if I go to the university close to home, I will not be happy, and I've tried to see it in positive ways to make it work but I really just can't see myself going there.
I have no clue what to do. I am so completely stressed with school, the cancer, and all this college shit. I feel so guilty for wanting to go away, but not one part of me wants to stay home, especially with such an amazing university only 2 and a half hours away. Can anyone give me advice? | I want to move away for college, but mom with cancer wants me to stay home and go to a boring/not so good college |
t3_2nfmoc | dogs | Dog is getting aggressive with me. Any help would be much appreciated. | My dog [Jericho] is almost 1 year old. I have had him since he was 7 weeks. He is starting to get aggressive with me. It only happened since we got our other dog Biscuit about 4 months ago. Its started one day when he had one of those beef bones. I went to move him to take him upstairs and he snapped at me. My BF stepped in and took the bone. Then it happened again with a similar bone. We stopped giving them to him. Then last week I was going to bed and he was in my spot and I went to move him. He turned quickly and bit me (not hard). At first I figured it was because i had scared him and woke him up but then he growled at me when i tried to move him again. He did the same thing last night except he wasn't asleep, he seen I was coming to move him and started growling at me. I had to call my BF down to move him. Then today he had a regular bone he gets pretty frequently and he had that look again. I diffused the situation by grabbing the leash and taking him out. But then when we came back in him and Biscuit got into a fight(they do sometimes fight over bones or toys) because he got too close to the bone.
So the aggression seems to be escalating. I want to hire a trainer but BF is against it. If I am able to talk him into it it will not be until after the first of the year. If I am not able to hire one though, is there a way to deal with this situation on my own? This is very upsetting to me because I just don't know what i did wrong. I am heartbroken that he is doing this to me. | Dog is getting increasingly aggressive with me. Advice is appreciated. |
t3_3rubci | tifu | TIFU by getting a racist old man angry at me. | So, this isn't probably as good as you were hoping, because it was on Reddit, but bear with me.
In the Japanese Star Wars trailer that was on the front page, this guy comments on how excited he is for the new Star Wars. I commented that he seems like an asshole because of his comment history. This guy proceeds to go back to an older post of mine and comment some delightful things. Then he changed his comment on the original Star Wars thing to say that he hates Star Wars and when he saw ur originals in theaters, he walked out leaving his wife behind so he could look at young girls in short shorts.
He has sent me a couple PM's now telling me that he is going to come find me and kill me etc.
( | old man makes the shit hit the fan. |
t3_i7gbj | self | To get what you want, you have to ask for what you want. | I just broke up with my boyfriend. I did this because I thought that, after a year, we still didn't know each other. He didn't know my secrets, he didn't know about my past bout of depression or that most of the time I still feel like crap, yet I expected that he would make me feel better.
And there he was, totally honest about his anxiety disorder and I did everything I could to be there for him. In my case, I was too proud to be honest about my faults, and didn't want to bring him down with any negativity, thus the relationship went no where.
After breaking up with him he mentioned that he always wanted to get to know me better, he wanted me to tell him everything about myself, even though he had never explicitly said so.
Now I'm stuck here thinking that if I would have been more open, and if he would have asked more questions, things would have been great... I could have fixed him, he could have fixed me... and we would have both turned out for the better. Instead I tried to fix him and he wondered why I wouldn't open up. Neither of us asked for what we wanted, but now i realize you can't just expect things if you don't tell people you're expecting them.
I think the worst part is that he was great otherwise, super nice never did a thing wrong. | I never told my boyfriend what I wanted and he never told me what he wanted. Now it's over and I'm a jack ass. |
t3_2o6mb3 | needadvice | A Facebook group I am in is being bullied by a group of 70+ individuals. What can we do? | I'm a licensed wildlife rehabber and was/am a part of a group on FB called Squirrels which had about 1,500 members. It's a public group where anyone can join. On Sunday an ex-Navy submariner joined and started posting pictures of dead squirrels. He began adding friends to the group. They posted graphic photos of smashed squirrels, tortured squirrels, etc. Now there are over 70 ex-Navy submariners on there (all late 40s-50s). They are saying sexually graphic stuff to us, threatening some with death (the person is too scared to call the police despite us offering support). We block them and they make new accounts. We've made new groups and they keep sneaking in even if it's closed or private.
We report all photos for animal cruelty, graphic violence, threats of violence, and even have screen shots, but FB never removes it. The admin of the original group isn't responding, so we made new groups, but these submariners make fake profiles and it only takes one to get their friends in.
I know that the answer is going to be just give up being in a squirrel group, but for a lot of us we are solitary and no one can offer emotional and experience support for rescuing these small mammals. Why won't FB do anything? What do we do since we and the offenders are all in different states?
This sucks mostly :( | We have even tried making new groups, but they make fake profile & sneak in. They are posting graphic photos, making threats, etc. but reporting to FB doesn't help and w/ fake names we don't know where or who they are. What steps can we take to make it stop? |
t3_2ioqhq | relationships | Hey guys I'm 17 (male) and I'm having trouble with a 18(female). Help me out. | Hey, so I've been talking to this girl for a little more than a week now and i have no clue how to approach her.
She lives close to me but we haven't met yet. All we do i message each other. She doesn't want to share any social media with me or phone number. She has seen my photos and i have seen her photos (we exchanged a lot of them).
Anyway how do i know if she wants me or not? I asked her if she is interested and if I'm spamming her with messages she doesn't want to see since she didn't respond or responded after few hours to all of them. She said that she isn't yet sure but if she didn't want me to message her she said she would block or ignore me.
Her message -> (but i'll just say that if i really didn't want to talk to you i'd ignore you, and if i wanted you to leave me alone i would block you, so you're safe :))
I know that she is really shy i noticed it already from the way she talks. I talked to her a lot recently about normal stuff like college or work. I'm waiting now for her to message me first to see if she cares (but as i said she is really shy so i don't know if she wants me to start the conversation first). | How do i know if she likes me? |
t3_gnfq3 | AskReddit | I live in Britain and I suspect someone I know of being a terrorist, what can I do? | Okay, to clarify I am a University student in London and someone who I was in halls with last year I suspect of being a risk to society through either being involved with terrorist activity or at least having links to such related organisations.
The reason I put that I live in Britain is because I want to know if there are specific any hotlines etc. (like they have in America) that I can contact to speak to someone about this.
A bit of background, his profile could be described as follows: Islamic young male, social outcast, bullied at school, extreme conviction in his religious beliefs (he's all for sharia) and also hates 'the west'.
Now what has aroused my suspicions is the continually worrying state of his facebook profile. It is updated every date with statuses about 'western oppression', koranic verses about infidels and how he wants the Islamic Caliphate installed over the whole world. He also changed his name to arabic (nothing bad there I suppose) after deciding he didn't fit in with everyone else at uni.
Most worryingly, he recently went on a trip to the Welsh countryside with 'blessed and glorious brothers', and I can't find out what the purpose of this trip was. training much? who knows, but I did see him that day running to catch the train with two full backpacks (again the backpack thing isn't really any grounds for suspicion, but... ಠ_ಠ)
Finally, i wouldn't be as concerned as he studies an intelligent subject at a leading university, but after the guy from UCL tried to bomb that plane at Christmas, well it shows that even really intelligent people can stoop that low. | Someone I know hates the west, loves Islam, social outcast and possible training camp in Wales, what do? |
t3_2e6nb2 | relationships | I [24/m] am having a hard time coming to terms with my ex[28/F] dating someone else. (7 year relationship) | So we have been broken up for about 6 months now. However 3 months ago we decided that we were going to try and make it work again, I now live 4 hours away from her in another state so I drove to visit her, stayed in a hotel and went to a concert together, and we had an absolutely wonderful time, we did that once more about a month and a half ago. Shortly after I left(about 2 weeks) she called me and said that she just wanted to be friends( this is not long after confessing her love for me, never wanting to leave/hurt me, etc.)
So fast forward to 3 days ago, she cuts all contact with me and makes a post on a forum that we both frequent asking for advice on how to cut all ties with me, that she is seeing someone else, etc.
I was heartbroken, here I was thinking that she was just taking some time to gather her thoughts, and let her life settle down more( she has a new really stressful job).
I kind of broke down and called her a lot, texted her, and made the mistake of replying to her post on the forum, which got me perm banned from it.
She finally spoke to me yesterday and told me that for the last month and a half she has been seeing a guy that she works with, and that she wants to see how it goes with him...
I understand why she is doing that, and I want to respect her choice, but I am dying on the inside, I feel betrayed and I am more depressed than I have ever been.
She told me that she loves him, that he's a great guy, even has a bigger dick than me. I mean ouch.
So I guess my question is how do I move on from this?
She says she still wants to be friends and all, but I am in so much pain whenever I think of her being with another man. | GF of 7 years left me, said she was going to try and make it work with me, then started sleeping with another guy. Help. |
t3_2xgudf | relationships | Me [20 M] with my friend [20 F], we tried dating and it didn't work out. I don't know how to move one. | We met 5 months ago and we went on a few dates, she didn't feel a connection so she called things off but she wanted to remain friends. We have been talking all day every day for 5 months and we have grown incredibly close.
I still have romantic feelings for her and the thought of her dating another guy and being intimate with another guy makes me incredibly jealous and physically ill. I know she has every right to see other guys and I truly want her to be happy, I just feel like by now I should have gotten over her and I haven't. I don't have much experience at all with relationships so I am not sure how to get over her, I want to remain friends more than anything but I am afraid my feelings for her will ruin that. | I can't get over my feelings for my best friend |
t3_21ounz | relationships | My partner shuts down and ignores me when there is a problem. | We are both full grown adults with a few solid relationships under each of our belts. I'm 40, she's 50, and I don't think I can deal with this any longer. I love her dearly. We have very high highs and very low lows in our relationship. When there is a discussion that she is not comfortable with, she shuts down and ignores me completely. Sometimes I know it is coming and sometimes I'm caught entirely off guard. I come from a family where every issue is discussed until it is resolved. The idea of ignoring a person you love comes off as completely disrespectful to me whether it's something one wants to discuss of not. I have told her repeatedly throughout our brief (1.5 years) relationship how much it hurts me and it ends with her telling me that it's my fault she shuts down. She believes a discussion involves one party speaking, the other party listening, and NOT responding, ever. I believe that a conversation involves both parties listening, sharing their thoughts, and trying to come up with an amicable solution. Is there any hope or are we completely incompatible? | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_nt9li | AskReddit | What's your embarrasing got-caught-fapping story? Here's mine... | Oh lord.. I was home alone at lunch hour. Mom was at work. I proceeded to put on a vcr recording of the 'late night nude girl movies' i taped. I got down to my birthday suit and laid on the couch.
The couch was really soft, so i used to put my pecker between the cushions and give er lol.. well midway through .. I hear a noise. It was my neighbors mom coming into my backyard to use our sprinkler cause theirs didn't work.
My friends mom saw my bear ass humping our furniture while watching an 80s HBO movie. I had the movie in slow motion mode cause the boobs only flashed for five seconds | young boys hormones leads to mastubatory embarassment. Is not allowed to play with girl next door anymore :( |
t3_1ishni | AskReddit | What needs to be invented? - Help a Product Design Student | Is there something that you do on a daily basis that annoys you?
Something that seems inefficient?
Is there a tool that you use that makes you say "why doesn't this work better?"
Or a tool/toy/product/piece of furniture/piece of equipment that you wish existed?
I'll be going into my Senior year in Industrial (product) design. It is my duty to solve problems, and make life easier for my product users. My final semester includes my capstone project and I could think of no better place than to ask Reddit what they need invented, what problems they need solved.
I am not concerned on focusing on a certain type of product, or a certain type of user. All I ask is that it be a problem that needs to be tended to. (If anyone has a disability and finds certain tasks to be more difficult than they should/need to be I would really appreciate your input.)
There are several of us in my class, and we will also have several other ongoing projects so more than one issue could possibly be looked at over the academic year. | What product innovations would make your life easier so I can design it for my senior project, and possibly have it manufactured? |
t3_29q5d1 | relationships | Husband [24/M] and I [24/F] have recurring communication issues. | My husband and I started dating 4 years ago, have been married for 1.5 years, and we're now having a difficult time together.
We've agreed that we do not communicate well. By this, I don't mean that we neglect making communication attempts. I mean that when one of us says something, there is a high chance of that the other of us will RADICALLY misinterpret what is being said. We've chalked it up to simply having incompatible speech/communication styles. My speech tends to be very monotone--he ends up thinking I am being sarcastic when I'm not. He tends to speak in double entendre, to the point where I can't tell if he means to say what he is literally saying, or if he means something entirely different.
This is flat-out frustrating for both of us, and I don't know where to go from here. He wants an opportunity to use his double-speak on more receptive targets, and I am tired of the language games. This creates significant tension between us, as we really can't communicate openly and efficiently. Neither of us want a divorce, yet it seems almost stupid to stay together when we're incompatible in such a crucial way. | Husband and I try to communicate, and it backfires regularly. How can we fix this? |
t3_4uud86 | relationships | My gf[17 F] told me[17 M] that she wanted a break. | To put it frankly she works all of the time. Combined with us both going to school, her collage, it's very hard for us to see/talk to each other, especially this past month.
Last night, she called me and told me that she had a crush on another guy she works with, and that she wanted to take a "break". However. I talked with her for about an hour over the phone explaining how stupid that was, and now she's begging for me to forgive her for trying to break up with me, and wants to be together again. And now she's pissed that I'm not quick to forgive and forget her breaking up with me.
I genuinely don't know what to do. It's been going quite strong for about 7 months now. (we've been dating for 8). | Gf broke up with me for 10 mins, to try and immediately get back, I'm slow to forgive her. |
t3_4ydor4 | relationships | I [27M] messed up: Called my girlfriend [27F] selfish for not wanting children. | "Kate" and I have been dating for about a year and a half. I love her more than anything and I believe she's my soul mate. She on the other hand, is not convinced. I know she loves me, but she's never been the romantic type and doesn't really believe in soul mates or lifelong connections. It took a long time for her to adjust to being in a relationship with me, and I know she sometimes still struggles with feeling like she can't be independent or "free." (I don't want to make her sound like she's cold or a bad girlfriend-- she's the most self-aware, generous, and kind person I know.)
From the very beginning, Kate has been extremely open about the fact that she doesn't plan to get married or have children. She's told me this numerous times.
Recently though, I've started feeling like I want the next part of my life to start, and kids are a big part of that. I can deal with not being married, but I have *always* wanted kids. Yesterday I sat Kate down and told her how I was feeling. She seemed annoyed, which I don't understand at all, and reiterated that she doesn't want children. I got upset, it escalated, and we ended up fighting. In the heat of the moment I said "The only reason you don't want kids is so you can keep living your selfish 'all about me' life!" Kate immediately left my house and I haven't seen or heard from her since.
I feel absolutely terrible and ashamed. I know I didn't handle it right. I've called and texted her apologies, but she hasn't responded. This can't be the end of our relationship. I literally don't know how I'll live knowing I ended it all with some stupid fight.
How can I make it up to her and show how sorry I am? | Called my girlfriend selfish for not wanting kids, now she won't speak to me and I don't know how to fix it. |
t3_1evy25 | loseit | Will you help me get excited to re-start my weight loss? | Background- When I went to college I was a decently healthy 155lbs/70kg 5'6 girl. A year into school, I weighed 205lbs/93kg, gained 50lbs for all the normal reasons people gain in college. In January of 2010, I got my act together and lost 35lbs over the course of 8 months through Weight Watchers and training for a 5k. I also became a vegetarian. I was SO HAPPY, and over the next school year my weight fluctuated a bit but I always got back on track and maintained for the most part.
Then in March I found out that a long-time boyfriend had been cheating on me, and I lost another 10 pounds, counting calories but using most of them on vodka. I thought I was happy being single, but that summer it all fell apart, and my depression combined with moving into a big city and working full time made me gain 15lbs in 3 months. I wish I was exaggerating about that paragraph...
Now, I was maintaining at 175, but stress has pushed me to 180. I have an awful relationship with food, and dieting is torture because of it. Since I'm laying it all out, I might as well say that I binge eat at least twice a week, to the tune of at least 1500kcal each time.
I just want to get back to my healthy weight loss. I don't want a miracle, I know its hard, but I'm tired of this crap. I'm constantly angry with myself for making poor choices, but somehow that anger isn't translating to motivation.
I am a strong woman, I have a good job and just graduated with honors. I know I can do this. I just can't make myself do this. I'm sorry this is so long, I guess I just need someone to kick me in the butt and tell me to get over myself! I want to be strong, healthy and get these birthin' hips into some size 6 jeans! | PLEASE help me get motivated to start eating right and exercising again! [In these pictures, I am 205lbs and 160lbs.]( |
t3_1g1068 | relationships | My[23M] relationship with my emotionally unstable girlfriend[23F] is fantastic 95% of the time | I love my girlfriend and we have been together over a year, and are moving in together soon. When things are good, they are absolutely amazing.
The thing is she is (self-proclaimed) emotionally unstable. I believe she has Borderline Personality Disorder but she used to take Depression medication and it was a huge step for her to get off of that and gets uncontrollably angry if mental disorders are mentioned. Her childhood, family, and previous relationships have all been shit.
What happens is that if I say one wrong thing, she fixates on it and is upset all day and when we talk about it (usually at night) things generally escalate. When things get controversial, I get silent and don't want to talk about things and that makes her more upset but if I do talk. I'm generally irritated by that point to only make things worse. I would love to just let things cool down and talk about them the next day but she insists that she can't sleep and will only think about the issue until it is resolved. She also is in constant need of attention, we are both in grad school and there is not much time but she wants to spend any little amounts of time either of us have with the others, and gets upset if I am hanging out with friends or even if I have a lot of work to do and can't see her.
Due to the fact she get upset easily and fairly often, I tend to ignore it slightly and let it blow over. She doesn't understand why I am not crying with her or super emotional and threatens to break-up (she knows it is just a threat too) just to get me more emotionally involved.
So my questions I guess are:
Can I get more perspective from her point of view of what is happening?
What is the best way for me to show her my point of view of all of this?
How can we both change in order to improve our relationship?
Thanks for any and all help. | girlfriend has possible mental disorders and I don't know how to handle it |
t3_383a87 | relationships | Me [19M] broke up with GF[19F] 8 months ago, now I want her back. | I broke up with my GF of 2 years last November because I just didn't feel like I loved her and it wasn't going anywhere. After breaking up, we kind of started a FWB thing in January and have been hanging out a little bit. I kept encouraging her to go out and meet someone else so she finally did now and she wants to end our FWB relationship.
I completely understand that except now that I know she's seeing someone else, I want her back because I realize I was rejecting my true feelings for her. For the last few days I have been trying to see if she wants to go out one night but every night I seem to ask she says she's busy and doesn't really give me a night she's free.
We really are very close and she and I were each others first love. I have been trying to talk to her for the last few days and sometimes we chat a little, but as soon as I bring up my feelings, she stops responding. I am asking her to call me tonight so we can clear the air. All I want is a chance to win her back.
If anyone has any help or insight as to what I can do please help! | I broke up with my GF, we then had a FWB relationship while I told her to find another guy. Now that she found another guy, I want her back because I know I love her. What can I do? |
t3_4nwhky | relationships | How can I [23F] network with several ex-coworkers [30s/40sF] who recently quit without being pushy or insensitive? | I work at a small company. Until about a month ago, I was close to two of the executives (let's call them Jane and Susan). Neither was my boss but I voluntarily helped them a lot because what they did is closer to what I actually want to do. The three of us carpooled sometimes and I loved to spend time with them and learn from them.
About a month ago, there was some drama at the executive level and we basically lost 4 of 8 executives in a week. Both Jane and Susan quit. Both of them seemed at peace with their decisions, we spoke multiple times after they gave notice but before they actually left the building. They both know that I want to leave and were actively telling me to GTFO.
The drama and inevitable changes to the work culture pretty much means that a lot of people (including myself) are planning to leave pretty soon. I'm sort of scratching the surface of what has been a massive amount of drama/stress but that's the short version.
I texted Jane about something two weeks ago about something non-work related and she didn't text me back. This morning, I asked her to go to coffee sometime soon and she texted back quickly but the tone is not as enthusiastic somehow. I'm worried something has changed and I'm worried about being insensitive/self-centered.
They have both expressed an interest in my professional career and I think they would be willing to give me suggestions/advice/connect me with people but it's just a little awkward.
My goals for meeting for coffee was to catch up with her and accept whatever she offers in terms of connecting me or just taking a look at my resume. Last time we spoke, both Susan and Jane were planning to take some time off/consult/freelance/etc. Both of them are married with young kids so it's not the end of the world. But when someone says they're consulting part-time, it's hard to know whether that's actually what they want to do or if they just haven't been able to find a full-time job yet. | Meeting up with two higher level ex-coworkers who quit, I need to network and get myself out of this terrible company without being insensitive. |
t3_19csxe | dogs | Crate Training Times? | Here is the story. I have a 2.5 year old dog who is really well trained. Well trained to the point that I have never bothered crate training her. I can leave her in my house or the car without problem. I never wanted/needed to crate train her so I never did.
Now though we are working on some higher level dog classes and I know for one in particular that is upcoming I am going to need her crate trained for. During portions of it dogs are kenneled in the same or another room for single dog demonstrations. I tried it out and she is okay in another room but will not shut up if I am in the same room.
So, I have got some mixed up advice about it. Some people say put your dog in the crate, and leave. Ignore it completely, etc. But another trainer said start by crating it in the same room as you with a juicy bone for an hour when you watch TV. Teach it that crating is not a punishment, and does not mean you are going to leave the house.
I have noticed that she does seem to be 'crate trained' to the car. If she is being loud or naughty tied up or in a kennel I can put her in the car, even with all the windows rolled down and us only 10 feet away, and she will be perfectly silent and well-behaved. I can only assume that this is because she has had enough reinforcement that barking does not work in the car. I mean, if I put her in the car and go somewhere and she barks...nothing happens obviously because I cannot even hear her. So is this what I should do with her crate? Put her in it when I need to leave on a short errand and let her bark herself out?
I don't want to kennel her at night. I like having her around and she is also my wake-up call. So I want to do this during the day. Just hoping you guys have some advice about crate training an adult dog during the day. | Need advice about crate training an adult, well-behaved dog during the daytime (must be out at night) in preparation for having to have her crated at class. |
t3_4dvqpv | relationships | My Girlfriend [19F] seems to think she's my boss [21M]? | For the past two weeks my gf without warning has become bossy over everything I do. I haven't lived at home since I was 17 and considering I've done whatever I've wanted (within reason) for 4 years I don't get why she is trying to tell me what to do all the time.
Ex: I was eating a muffin and she knocks it out of my hand saying I can't eat it because she's on a diet- if she was a guy I would have punched her in the face. Another time because she knows where my hidden key is she went into my apartment and hid things like my playstation and laptop because she was bored and her iPad broke so I wasn't allowed to enjoy my own stuff until she got a new one, recently she also convinced herself I was cheating so she bursts into my apartment looking for whatever and because she couldn't find anything so she starts ranting on about a magazine on the ground.
Other times she tries to tell me where I should be, what I'm going to be doing, how I should dress, and so on yet I don't listen so she'll go on these nag/rant session for hours where I have to really hold back picking her up and throwing her outside.
She lives with her parents and seems to be trying to take over my apartment. | gf being bossy for no reason |
t3_2c5ss3 | AskReddit | [Serious]How do I be Politically Correct? | Just in case it changes things any, I am in Canada.
**Disclaimer** I know that different people identify in different ways and accept or reject certain labels for a lot of different reasons. I also know that people are more than a label, and that one's "difference" isn't always a necessary identifier. If I need to identify/describe someone, many of these things would be helpful in doing so. I am just wondering what is currently most accepted.
**"People of Colour"**: I see this used to mean "anyone who isn't white" which isn't overly helpful. What are the appropriate words? If you know that person's heritage, is that safe? What if you don't?
**Handicapable**: Differently able? Person with a disability? There are a ton of differences here, but is "person in a wheelchair" (just picking one) appropriate?
**LGBTTIQQ2SA**: Each person is different, but I have met men who are interested in men who don't like the word gay, women who like women who don't like the word lesbian, and then things get considerably more complex. Thoughts?
**Others**: Poor people, overweight people, people who's religious or political beliefs would be used to identify themselves, anything else I'm forgetting? | What are the current PC ways to refer to various people? |
t3_33oc2z | jobs | Stay for good coworkers, or leave to improve skills | I've vacillated for a week now and I'm losing sleep over this. The background:
**Company A**
I started at Company A six months ago. It's a fun, hip place full of nice people. It's one step above a start-up in terms of size and age of the company. My actual job (coding stuff) is easy, but sometimes stressful because the processes and procedures aren't very well-defined so I often get random work dropped on my lap last-minute with very tight deadlines. It's gotten a bit better lately, though.
I don't feel that great about my future at Company A because the position seems to be skewing away from the coding stuff, which I like, to more of a marketing role. So often, I feel out of place because everyone's talking about marketing and sales and brand and I have nothing to contribute.
**Company B**
Company B made me an offer last week. The position will be all about coding, has very well-defined scope, and processes, all of which sound like such a luxury to me. I won't have to deal with haphazard deadlines and expectations anymore. I will be working with other developers. I can see myself learning a lot toward my actual interest. They will pay me $5k more.
My indecision comes from wanting to stay and form better relationships with my current coworkers. It's kind of a weird thing, but I'm at a point where I want to develop better connections with people instead of just chasing down money. I job-hopped and quit all over the place when I first started working, and don't think that's the most beneficial thing for me now.
A $5k raise by itself is not worth switching jobs over. I'm attracted to Company B because of the potential of growing my coding skills and being around other developers. I did ask for a higher salary but Company B said no, but would reconsider after 6 months. If only they had agreed, then it wouldn't be such a hard decision now. | Company A has great people. Company B has great job potential. Wat do. |
t3_2rsk2l | relationships | Does my relationship sound weird (24F and 26M, 1 yr)...? | I'm still undecided about what I really want from the relationship and I'm worried we may end up having different aims...
I think my BF is happy 'floating' in the relationship. He has bipolar disorder and needs a lot of time alone so he has concerns about living together. I stated that we can always get a place with 2 bedrooms and that he managed to live with his best friend before so I'm sure we could manage somehow. I guess he's also concerned that it may get boring if we spend most of our time together, which I guess I can understand but then how do a lot of couples manage living together?! He seems to be on board with the idea of me moving to the same town as him though so we could hang out more...
I'm not quite sure what his hang up on marriage is either. We haven't really discussed that properly though. Why are people for/against marriage? I don't really understand - I just keep thinking that people do it because it's the 'normal' thing to do. I have confused feelings about marriage - yes, it'll be nice to have the public ceremony but is that all at the end of the day?
As for kids, I'm not really sure about them but I could change my mind in the future. I have a feeling that he doesn't want them because of his bipolar.
We haven't met each other's parents either or many friends. I used to be concerned because again, it's the 'normal' thing to do but we've both realised that we don't find this an important step. He said something about how his thinks his friends' relationships got boring once they got to that stage but I don't quite understand that...
Anyway, I was just wondering what people make of this relationship... It's both our first long-term one. I think I'm having a hard time figuring out if I want actually something or if I just want it because it's the 'normal' thing. | My boyfriend and I don't seem to have long-term plans to meet each other's friends/parents, move in together, get married or have kids. Are we doomed...?! |
t3_4k46ew | relationships | Me [29 M] with my Friend [26 M] 1 year, not meeting-up enough to be considered bro's ? | my issue is that me and my friend generally only meet-up once a 3 weeks to once a month. this is not an issue for me because we hangout for 6 hours straight which is really fun. now i started to question our friendship because:
1# Recently we only meetup once every 7 weeks, this in itself is not a problem for me if we would live 'far' away from each other ( like 3 hour drive) but the case is that we dont, Its only 30 min. Moreover i know he has time because he does not have a job and he is finding his study way too easy.
2# secondly, 4 out of 5 times i am contacting him to hangout. he does say that it is really fun so i assume he is ok with me hanging-out for 6 hours. ( i bring booze and food so its not like i am a leech).
3# This is a minor thing but when i visit his room is soo dirty that i cant walk anywhere without walking all over his shit. i dont mind a dirty room its just that it is hard to chill in a room when you are drunk because every time you stand up you will fall over stuff.
So overall i really like to hangout but i find his communication (or the lack thereof) annoying, i dont want to be the one that reaches out constantly. Moreover i find it disrespectful that one would let his guests be in a room that is really dirty, up to the point that you cant see the floor. And thirtly i really wonder if i can consider our monthly/ bi-monthly meetups as "bro/Mate" meetings.
I dont want too be to harsh on him but i am not looking for aquintences, only for true friends. Please share your opinion what you would do in my situation. | How often should one meetup to be considered a friend and what if it is mostly one way traffic? |
t3_4n7cej | relationships | I (24 female) am seeing this guy (24 male) who seems super interested but isn't good at making plans. | I've been out on a date with this guy 3 times. Every time has been so nice and we spend hours talking and hanging out. He seems interested by the physical contact he makes with me (touching my hands, setting his hand on my lower back, grabbing my waist and pulling me into his chest, etc.) and he also straight up told me that he has only positive things to say about me! There still has not been a kiss, but he claims to just be taking things slow to see where things go, which I am okay with. Each time we hang out, we make plans to see each other again on whatever day.
He doesn't text much which I am also okay with as I don't really like texting anyways, but each day of our planned date I don't hear from him and eventually I'll text him to make sure the plans are actually happening. For example...I went out with him on Sunday and he said that we should see each other Wednesday (today). He text me on both Monday and Tuesday to just chat a little bit, but with no mention of the date. Something came up in the conversation on Tuesday and I reacted by saying "you can tell me about it when I see you tomorrow, if you still want to!" and he responded with "Absolutely :)". That made him seem like he still was looking forward to it and that it was still going to happen. But we still didn't make concrete plans for today.
So I guess the question is, is it a bad idea for me to text him asking about the plans? Or does it really not matter? I'd like to think that I'm kind of taking charge of the situation, but I also don't want to come off as this annoying girl that wants to hang out.
Now I already text him today, but in case this happens again it will be good advice for the next time! | I'm seeing this guy, he seems interested in me and we always talk about having plans but I'm the one who makes sure the plans happen. Is it okay that I text him about the plans? Even if he showed less than 24 hours ago that he was still interested in hanging out? |
t3_qm1fl | AskReddit | What have you seen/taken part in lately that has restored your appreciation for humanity? | Recently, coming home from work I pulled up next to an older lady--maybe 60-65 at a red light (I'm 25). She was in a nice Mercedes C350 and I drive a Ford Fusion Sport. When the light turned green, I wanted to get ahead of her so that I could turn right at a light that was about a half a mile down the road. Well, looking at the lady, I figured I might have to take my car up to about 3,500 rpms to get past her. Nope. I got on my gas a little too quick for her liking, apparently, so she decided she was going to light me up. Well, I love driving my car (just bought a Cold Air Intake...makes a cool noise and is a little quicker than it was before) so I got on it too. We hauled ass together, getting up to about 120mph (~195 kmph). At first I thought the lady would be bitter and was doing it to spite me for wanting to pass her, but when I made the right turn, I looked in my rear-view (she was going straight) and she was laughing her ass off. | Someones grandma and I pulled a Vin Diesel and Paul Walker |
t3_1hu5mf | running | I need to get a 1.5 mile in under 9:12...just have a few questions about training | I know a bunch of people would look at 1.5mi and scoff, and the distance itself isn't in itself daunting. I'm joining the USAF and the PT test requires 9:12 or under for 100%. My dad told me that in order to hit that time I should be running 1.5 miles and doing it as quick as I can; slowly building up to the speed I need. I just feel that is a bit off, almost like I should be training maybe 2.5 or maybe 3mi and then the 1.5 would feel like a breeze.
Look, again, 1.5mi is kinda sad, but please help. | Train my distance, or train longer? |
t3_2lwkyn | books | How I found my fix after 5 years of searching... | I have always been a voracious reader, when I was a teenager I read all the Classic Crime fiction, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Edger Allen Poe to name a few. I never really got accustomed to the modern crime fiction, the characters weren't strong, the plots were loose so I fell into a loop of reading the classics again. I am sure I have read the complete Sherlock Holmes at least 5 times.
But then a couple of years ago I was looking for The Hunger Games and the shopkeeper recommended The Millennium Series, I started reading and instantly got hooked to Salander and how intricately Stieg Larsson builds his plot.
But it wore off too, I read the entire series 3 times spanning over these 5 years. I tried some modern crime fiction again but it didn't quite met up to the standards that have been set, Till I found Henkel Manning.
The story of how I came to know about him is really interesting, I was in Tallinn, Estonia (where I am currently studying) , roaming in the Old Town, A traveller asked me for directions and we stroke up a conversation. He told me that he is the Principal for an Adult Education College in Sweden, before leaving I told him about my problem and asked him if there is anyone who can quite match up to what I have read so far. He told me about Manning's Kurt Wallander series.
I started reading it and now I am on my third book; The White Lioness. I am on the last chapter of the book and the plot is so intricately balanced and the characters are so strong that I am savouring every last minute of reading the book.
I had to write all that because I have always been fixed in a loop, there is not a single book that I liked and didn't read it twice. To me there is no big joy then reading a book for the first time which you know is already good.
P.S I am not sure if anyone would like it but I had to put this out, also English is not my first Language so any suggestions to improve writing would be greatly appreciated. | A crime fiction aficionado finds his fix after 5 years. |
t3_xu4es | Parenting | 3 (almost 4) year old and naps | my almost-four-year-old acts incredibly loopy starting around noon when he hasnt had a nap
he has a hard time listening and gets very loud and clumsy
it is like pulling teeth to get him to take a nap unless we're driving in the car.. i keep it quiet, i've tried turning a fan on for background noise..
how do you get your kids to willingly take naps? it doesn't seem like punishment would be a good way to go as that may get him more amped up, but i have no idea (as you can see).
if i go the route of letting him tire himself out, he will not take a nap, just get loopy in the evening.. any suggestions appreciated! | how do i get 3 year old to take naps? |
t3_3cg2a9 | relationships | My [21M] crush [21F] expects the worst out of our relationship, which prevents her from committing. How do I convince her otherwise? | Hey all, I have been crushing on this girl for years, and only recently have I made a move on it. We have been friends since high school, and in the past year have gotten a lot closer along with 5 other people (become a sort of family).
When I first asked her out, she said she didn't want to ruin the friendship because she looks too far ahead and is only expecting the worst, as past experiences have proven for her that friends should never date.
The past couple of weeks we've been hanging out, going on dates, much physical contact (hand holding, body holding) basically a lot of flirting. But when time comes to talk about our relationship, she is still iffy. | Crush is with me physically but not mentally. What do |
t3_1a4u0e | BreakUps | my ex (18f) wants to be friends with me (19m) but i still love her. | I broke up with my ex (19f) maybe a month ago, I (19m) have been trying to get over her since then. she texted me this morning that she found some of my stuff. she also tells me that she misses me and wants to hang out, i hung out with her and i couldn't help but notice that she still has the key to my house on her keychain, i don't know what this means. She told me she wants to hang out more. Im just very confused and i don't know if i should try being friends with her or just cut it off completely. | my ex wants to be friends and i don't know if i can handle it. |
t3_1yi3pl | relationships | 23M I have the weirdest feeling that my GF 21 is up to something behind my back | I've been dating this girl since November. I'll call her jane. Jane is a really cool, interesting, smart, beautiful girl. She's in med school and is also doing modeling work on the side. Then there me who was a forever alone when it came to women. So for this being my first girlfriend I was pumped. As awesome as this sounds Jane has a mysterious side. I've just had a feeling she's hiding something from me. I've tired to talk to her but I get nothing. Jane also smokes pot which I don't do but I don't care that she does. So Jane tells me she has to go to jail for 4 days after she was caught, before we were dating. So she decides to do her 4 days starting today. I feel bad as I dropped her off in front of the courthouse this morning. Fast forward to a minute ago, I get a Facebook invite thing from her. I don't know how that's possible. I then tried to call her but it said her phone was temporarily disconnected.
So I'm not sure if I'm over reacting, or if I have a legit gripe. Part of it is the fact I feel like I'm not good enough for her, and she's just using me in some way. She's from Phoenix originally would there be any way to call her but make it look like a Phoenix area code? | I think the GF is up to no good. Looking for a way to prove she's lieing |
t3_wxadz | Cooking | Bacon! Why didn't I know?!? | I recently read a great book by Peter Kaminsky entitled "Culinary Intelligence: The Art Of Eating Healthy (And Really Well)" and in it he talks about cooking bacon by starting it in a pan covered by water. He instructs you to boil the water off and continue to cook the bacon by pan frying it. Why did it take me until my 52nd year to find out this information? He also suggests that you find bacon from a pig that has only consumed acorns, but c'mon, really? Although I did find bacon that was from free range pigs with no nitrates added and tried the water method for cooking, and I must say it was simply marvelous! | Barely cover your bacon with water in a frying pan, boil the water off, and continue to pan fry. |
t3_3oup6c | personalfinance | Has anyone heard of this? Possibly illegal employer activity | Hi there!
I started with a small restaurant a few months back. I only worked there a couple weeks before I had enough of all the unprofessional bullshit. The main guy had been given the restaurant by hid parents and had no idea what he was doing.
Skip to the important part:
I started working with them, and I remembered I had never filled out any paperwork... so I asked the guy. He said that he filled out my W2 and everything for me, since my social was on my application.....
Something about a company that does all that for him....
Considering it's illegal for a business to even suggest which deductions or withholdings to make. This sounded very illegal. From my point of view, he just sent my full information: social, name, etc to some company. Without my consent, or knowledge.
What do you guys think? | Company that fills out employee W2 forms for the employees? Is this legal? |
t3_1q9e5a | relationships | A girl [f/20] I'm [m/24] seeing is rating me like a product on an app called Luluvise, where do I even start? | So today I found out this girl I'm seeing is rating me like a commodity on some app just for girls called Luluvise - I don't like it - what is it, what do you think about it, and how does one stop it?
If this were a website for men, it would be called misogynist. I think shit like this represents a very disturbing trend in our society. One in which stalking is considered normal and where something as personal as relationships can be labelled and packaged like every other god damned thing out there. Relationships have always been about trust for me, but how can I trust someone that rates me like a product? This made me sick to my stomach to think that this is going on without the knowledge or consent of the men (particularly me) listed on there, but also by the fact that women themselves seem to use it often.
I confronted her about it and told her my reason for not liking, but she didn't really seem phased by what I was saying, she just brushed it off. How common is this? Also just WTF? I doubt I'll keep seeing her, but I'd like to know how I can block myself from being listed there. | Girlfriend I've been with for 3 months is rating me on Luluvise and I don't like it. |
t3_hoor4 | self | This is such a terrible day. Just need to get it out... | So today started off like any normal day. Went to work, which has been a little tense lately and my area is rumored to be laying off 2,000 jobs the next few months. I'm a part time employee at an engineering firm as a drafter/do whatever anyone wants. I'm part time because I'm going to school to be a drafter. I got an email for a manditory lunch with the owner of the company I work for on June 9th. FYI the company has about 200-300 employees. The lunch is with me and about 6 other people, one of which I know has a strong chance at getting fired. My dad also works at the company and I asked him what was going on because it sounded like a 2 week notice, but from the companies side. After that I got an email changing it to the week after on the 16th, so 3 weeks until the lunch, which just so happens to coincide with me getting out of school. So from what I gather I have 3 weeks until I lose my job. Nothing is official, but it sure sounds like it. What do you guys think?
So with that news I felt like I really needed a cold beer after work. So I went to the gas station near my house and there was a cop there getting stuff as well (he was there before me). So as I left he was still there, which made me suspicious and worried. He didn't follow right away but he caught up and pulled me over. So about a year ago I got pulled over and got a ticket for no insurance and I spaced it/neglected it and it became passed due. I knew this would result in my drivers license getting suspended, but I just ignored it, like an idiot.
Had to have my dad come pick me up to drive my car home, the cop didn't take me to jail, he was actually really nice. But now I'm inbetween a rock and a hard place. Shit's finally starting to catch up to me. I knew it would, but damn, all in one day... Let the insults fly or AmA. Just need to take it one day at a time now. It should all work out, I hope. | Got a strong hint that I might lose my job in 3 weeks at the end of the school year. Got pulled over, had suspended license, now totally fraked. |
t3_myqm3 | AskReddit | Why does my friend keep calling me Morton? | I understand that this will probably be ignored, but I don't know where else to go.
When I get frustrated with my friend's trolling or complain about anything in general around him, he calls me Morton. Some of my other friends are in on in, but they won't tell me what it's in reference too. They say it's something I should know, but I don't. It isn't the name calling that bothers me; just that I don't know what it means. I've scoured the internet and found nothing. I turn to Reddit in my time of need. I'll give more info if asked. My friend is a big gamer, if that helps any. | My gamer friend calls me Morton when I get frustrated or complain, and I don't know what he's referring to. Any (serious) suggestions are welcome. |
t3_2ea6nc | askwomenadvice | HOT GIRLS AT GYM-HELP :) | I am a 22(M) , buff, attractive and confident. Constantly see cuties at the gym and want to know some smart strategies to approach. Okay, I know you're all going to say not to do it and stuff but hey, I will never see these girls anywhere else (for now) and have decided to finally man up. I want to meet my swolemate and this is the place to do it! I believe many females who have a passion for fitness and want their "Swolemate" are ignorant to believe they can't be hit on at the gym because ultimately that's the #1 spot! | Decided to finally man up and hit on girls at the gym. Don't care about rejection..Best way to approach for an attractive, outgoing male? |
t3_1ux0u5 | relationships | Signle, gay [27M], suffering from what I'm calling third-date syndrome. | I got out of a three-year relationship about 9 months ago, and I've recently started dating around a bit. I'm not necessarily on the hunt for a relationship, but I do enjoy a bit of romance in my life.
Most guys I meet I don't click with, which is fine - you can't expect to bond with every man you go on a date with. However, throughout my life when I've been single and dating, I find I have this problem - I go on a date, and we click and I have a great time. We agree to a second date, and by the time it happens, I'm feeling REALLY into the guy and want to keep him around.
Then we go on a third date, and I find myself just ITCHING to get out of there. I lose all sexual attraction, I don't find them interesting or funny anymore, and I just can't wait until it's over so I can go home and call it quits.
I don't know why this happens to me. I suppose it could be a fear of intimacy or commitment, but my last boyfriend lasted three years, and I come from a very loving and intimate family. Speaking of my last boyfriend, I think I probably suffered from third-date syndrome with him, but back then, I just pushed through it and ended up getting myself into a long-term, less-than-satisfying relationship. I wish I HAD walked away after the third date - it would have saved both of us a lot of grief three years later.
Now I'm thinking of taking a break from dating altogether until I get this shit sorted.
Does this happen to anyone else? Anyone have some insight? | I'm a gay guy who loses attraction to interesting guys on the third date, and I don't know what to fucking do. |
t3_2uvahv | tifu | TIFU by sitting in my coworkers chair | We just got a new employee at our company and I've been training him since he's been with us. He's far enough along where he doesn't need much help anymore, so he pretty much works by himself most of the night. We all have our own rooms which are somewhat close together in the building but everyone tends to keep to themselves. Well, tonight he needed help with his work.
I go into his office and take a seat at his desk. As soon as my cheeks hit the seat, I am engulfed by the biggest fart I think I have ever walked into.
I think we all know this trick - if you have to let one loose you politely release it into the cushion of the seat. No smell, no harm, no foul - right? I just f'ed up by interrupting his cushion pushin'. But... the smell. OH GOD.
Now the problem was that I was wearing a jacket at the time. This created a pocket of trapped, warm, bologna air that would blow into my face with every move that I made. Here I am trying to explain things to this kid, and I'm being smacked in the face every thirty seconds by his butt smog. The one thing that shocked me the most was how warm the air was. It had to be at least 10 degrees warmer inside of my jacket than out. I was losing my breath with every word I spoke. It was horrible.
I will never forget that smell. Nothing like it. | Sat in coworkers chair only to be greeted by his butt smog. It was so warm... |
t3_1uuyuw | relationships | I [M15] need help with getting a girl [15F] who has a HUGE crush on me to leave me alone. | I met this girl (let's call her T) in class a few weeks back when she started sitting beside me. We talked a lot and became friends but being a guy I totally missed that she had a crush on me until one of my good friends that knows her as well told me that she does. And apparently its pretty intense. I dont like T in that way at all and now I'm not even sure I want to be friends. T has also told my good friend that T thinks I like her back and that we are close to dating. I think T thinks this because I may have accidentally led her on because this is the first time a girl has flirted with me first so I didn't know how to react. Somehow T got the idea that me and my close friend were dating because we went to a movie together as friends and when T found out she hit my good friend and told her to keep her distance. So basically I want this girl to leave me alone but I dont know how to tell her that or what I should do to accomplish this. Thanks in advance! | met a girl. She likes me a LOT. I dont like her. She's getting a bit crazy. Need help getting rid of her. |
t3_3bornz | relationships | I'm [34 M] looking for closure from a digression that my wife [34 F] had 5 years ago. My only help is a friend that very well may have a crush on me. | About 5 years ago my wife sought companionship in an old friend from high school. She maintained a 'relationship' with this guy for a few months. As far as I know they never had sex. She confessed to the relationship, we went to therapy, things got better. I still think about it every damn day.
This is incredibly draining on me. My wife tells me that she has been completely honest with me regarding what happened during this time. I want to believe her wholeheartedly but I don't know if I'll ever be able to without definitive proof. The closest I have to proof is held by a friend of ours. My wife confided in this friend during our difficult times and I suspect this is the only person that knows, in any detail, what my wife did during that time.
In the recent past my wife has distanced herself from this friend. I think in large part because the friend flirts with me. I may be oblivious but I'm not convinced the friend is interested in me, rather it's just fun to flirt with people.
My dilemma: I want to corroborate my wife's recall of the events that took place and the only way I see that being possible is if I contact the friend. I would prefer to contact her without my wife's knowledge because I don't want their long-term friendship to prevent the truth being told. Obviously my wife will be livid if she were to find out I went behind her back and spoke with this friend. Advice? | Wife had short relationship behind my back. I need closure and the only person able to give me closure is a friend that my wife has effectively cut out of our lives. |
t3_2i2tpi | relationships | Update: my girlfriend (f20) just broke up with me (m20) 2 1/2 years | Original:
I'm starting to feel like she never cared about me is that normal? I feel like she never loved me or even hardly liked me, she seems to be fine after the break up, I'm still dying inside, I don't even know why, if she didn't care about me, why can't I stop feeling like I'm being crushed? I can't stand the thought of her dating someone else and I get so angry at her now, I don't even know why, I couldn't be angry when she broke up with me but I'm furious now, about so much. I feel like I'm so alone... | why can't I just feel better, why can't I just not care about this break up like she is doing? Should I be angry? |
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