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t3_35yim3 | tifu | TIFU by lying on a Google Survey | So for those of you who don't know, there is a Google Survey app for android you can download where you get to take surveys. After completing the surveys, you receive anywhere from $0.10 to $2.00 for doing a survey to use on the Google Play Store.
Now with these surveys I have always lied. The more I'd fabricate these answers, the more "valuable" it makes my opinion. The more valuable my opinion is, the more surveys I get which means more play store credit. If I had been honest, I would not have gotten any surveys much like when I told my friend about the app and never got a survey after his first one. So far, I've received about $35 in Play Store Credit by doing these surveys.
So this morning, I got a Google Survey on my tablet. It was a 3 question survey. The survey asked if I had ever been to a water park called Kelp Water Parks. I said yes. Then it asked what my favorite slide was. I just chose a random name of a ride and proceeded to the next question.
Only then did I find out it wasn't a survey, but it was designed to fish out people like me. People who lie on their surveys. It told me that the Kelp Water Park didn't exist. Google then proceeded to scold me saying lying is a bad thing and it will most likely not consider me for future surveys. Google caught me lying and left me feeling like I lied to my own father. | Lied to Google. Received a virtual spanking over their survey app. |
t3_3rbra2 | relationships | Me [28 M] with my coworker [22 F] of one year, she barely speaks with me. | I've worked with her for over 1 year now. She used to work with a friend of hers, but she was fired and I got her position.
Since I've started working here, I've always had the feeling that she doesn't like me that much. She barely talks with me, even when I try to have some small talk, she basically answers with two word sentences and doesn't try to get the conversation going.
It's pretty weird since I'm a very communicative guy at work, but when it comes to her she just pretty much refuses to talk with me other than the average work related stuff which also goes pretty quick.
She refuses to say my name, sometimes when someone comes into our office and asks her something that is related to what I do she will just say "Talk to him".
I've tried everything to make her talk with me or at least to get us to know each other better. But she shoots down every attempt. Don't get me wrong, I don't want any romantic stuff with her or anything. I just want to be able to get along, have some small talk and basically have a friendly work environment.
This stuff makes a bit angry since I've got the feeling that she hates me because I replaced her friend which I have nothing to do with.
I've asked once or twice if she had a problem with me, but she always denies.
What should I do? Is it best to just ignore this? | Coworker of 1 year pretty much never talks with me and appears to hate me. |
t3_3021nd | relationships | what do i (30f) do about this guy (35m)? | for a few reasons, i'm not looking for a relationship right now. i have complicated scenarios with a long-distance ex who may be moving back and all kinds of stuff. just not looking right now, but i'm pretty live-in-the-moment, and i'm down to have fun with whoever comes along in the meantime. this guy asks me out and he's really cute and fun. i say ok, but i say pretty up front that while i'm single, things are complicated so i'm really only available for fun and hang&bang.
he went through a brutal divorce last year and hasn't dated since. seems like she fucked him up pretty bad. thing is, he's getting pretty attached already it seems. planning cute dates, major affection, all that. super sweet person. i've been up front, but i don't wanna hurt the guy or lead him on either.
i'd like to keep hanging out like we are, but i don't want to fuck him up, especially if he's lost all trust in women from what he's been through. | question: is it presumptuous of me to try to protect him from himself and wind this whole thing down? i've been honest, and he's acknowledged it and says it's cool, but his actions speak differently. |
t3_zjlek | loseit | Trouble setting goals | Hi, y'all. First time posting here; I'm going to try to follow all the rules!
I'm a guy, in my late 20's. I gained a significant amount of weight over the last 5ish years (graduated from college, moved around, excuses, excuses...), and after a casual friend said that he had noticed and he thought I was gaining weight on purpose, I decided it was time to make a change. I got on WW, and lost most of the extra weight over several months, bringing my BMI down from borderline obese to borderline normal. I stayed on my plan the whole time, and I was really proud of myself. I didn't think I looked much different, but I got a lot of "wow, yallcat, why you looking so much better these days?" comments, so I guess something was working. Then I had some things come up that seemed bigger (whoops) than watching what I ate. Long story short, I've gained 10 pounds back in the last 4 months, and I decided today that it's time to get back on the wagon.
I'm worried, though, that once I get the 10 pounds back off, I will slide again, and I do not want to yo-yo. I have always heard, and I strongly believe, that setting specific, difficult but achievable goals is the best way to motivate a person. I am more numbers-oriented than anything, so something like lbs, BMI, % lost are easy for me to set, but I feel like something tangible would actually keep me on track better after I achieve the goal. So I'd like to hear about how you all set your non-scale goals. | can't come up with a goal that will keep me motivated to keep weight off. what do you do? |
t3_1vl6mx | relationships | Me [27/F] with my 1 year BF [25M] duration, After the break-up | i broke up with my boyfriend recently due to some respect issues that came up between us where I felt I wasn't getting the respect that I needed from him as his girlfriend. I went no-contact immediately however, I realized I had some stuff of his I needed to return, so I texted him a week later to let him know I was going to drop it off at a common spot as I did not want to hold onto it anymore than I had to. I kept the text short and to the point, mainly as an FYI for him.
I picked (without telling him) a random time to drop it off that I thought was specifically away from his normal schedule and surprise, he was there. I tried to leave right away but he asked me to stay. I was curious if he was going to say something about breakup, so I stayed and we had idle chit chat, but he never said anything about the fact that I broke up with him a week earlier and what went wrong. It was like he didn't want to acknowledge it. Since then, he has tried to text me a couple times to initiate conversation but I kept my replies very short and to the point to cut-off the conversation. Today, he came to my gym and in between his workout, tried to chat with me and complimented me, but I kept it very cool with him and didn't encourage it, as I am still upset about the respect issues and am keeping my distance from him.
At this point, I'm not sure if it is on me to tell him again why I am being indifferent and cool towards him, or if I need to just continue to let my actions speak for themselves? Is he just completely oblivious to what happened and doesn't want to acknowledge it? Is it on me to say something again to reinforce my point? | Broke up with boyfriend over respect issues. He keeps texting and trying to talk to me about everything but what happened. Not sure if I need to explain why I broke-up with him again or keep acting cool and indifferent/ no-contact. |
t3_2ven7f | relationships | I [20M] got depression, i feel stuck in life, id want to meet people. | Let me keep this has short has i can. A year ago, i left a my job for no good reasons[small computer shop for 1.5 - 3 years], emptied my bank account and realized i might have depression after losing most[ok all...] of my friends.
Im stuck in this small town (population like 3000) 30 minutes from the city, don't have a car & 8 months until i can drive(starters driving permit) spent the last 2-3 months trying to get a job(id say i applied pretty much every where by now....). Spending my days in the basement/room reading books about programming and computer science(which i am thinking of going to college for.. my father said he wanted to pay for it)[used to play lots of video games, got bored of them since i quite eve online], but totally going to lose it, iv been getting worst..
Id like to meet someone, but i have no idea how.. i figured my social starvation would be less of an issue if i got a job, but that's not happening by the looks. I tried to get my self to do something about it, but i feel completely stuck...
**Note:** *My dad, doesn't seem to believe in depression or treatment. Im only lucky the the internet exist... by depression i mean downmoods i cant even put reasoning on unless i give my self excuses in which case when i do have, i end up cracking. | I love talking to people, but how do i get to talk to anyone. |
t3_1kz7hk | relationships | I [31/M] get attached to easily.... Have met two girls in the last year. They both started things.... How do you get over it and move on? | Long story short.... I got separated from my wife for the third and final time last year. We met at 16. I've never done the dating thing. She was my first serious girlfriend. Also, the only girl I've had sex with... It's not religious or anything, just how it happened.....
It seems that when I meet a girl I'm into, she's all I think about, all I want, and I get attached really easily..... I have to admit that I WANT a relationship, but I'm not willing to settle either... I've had plenty of opportunities to get laid.... I'm not interested in that. I just want more!
Can anyone give me some insight as to how you get over a relationship? Keep in mind, neither have been long term. One lasted two weeks and the other was about a month from the time we started chatting to our last date. | I get overly attached... I know it but, I feel like I'm lying to myself if I don't act.... |
t3_35jwte | Advice | I feel backed into a metaphorical corner. | I'm 19, male, studying CS in my first year, and I'm not sure what I want to do with my life. My CS classes are very hard and extremely time consuming, and I've never had a formal job before in my life (never needed one).
I thought I wanted to do CS because I am very creative and enjoy creating things. I've written songs, stories, and plays, but this was one of my first years seriously writing code (largely in C++ if you're curious). I actually enjoyed it at first. My first two introductory classes were enjoyable for the most part, and I learned a lot. Then came the third introductory class and things took off to a whole new level and I began to struggle hard.
One of the few relevant things going for me is the possibility of an internship this summer for a data company, but if I do take the job, I won't enjoy it. I'll sit by myself at a keyboard for hours on end, while I try to keep up with content I haven't seen or worked with before in a language I don't really understand. The boss told me himself that they expect their interns and employees to pick up things very quickly and adapt to whatever the circumstances may be at a moment's notice. If the level of adaptability needed is anything like what my third class is like, I'll have more gray hairs than Jay Leno by 30.
My mom is very insistent that I finish at least two years of CS and to pursue this opportunity because she thinks I'm lazy and spoiled and have nothing else to do with my life at this point. | My classes have increased exponentially in difficulty, my mom thinks I'm lazy, and I have an opportunity to intern doing work I won't enjoy. |
t3_2r9oad | relationships | Awkwardness between me [21F] and roommate/friend [21F] | One of my roommates has been my best friend throughout college, and though we've gotten through strains in our friendship before, I feel like it's dwindling out and now it just feels awkward to be around her, and I have no idea how do deal with it.
About a year ago, we decided we would move in together, and officially started living together in September with two other girls. The two other girls and I bonded pretty well pretty fast, but my friend (I'll call her L) was always so busy with her new boyfriend and work that she was hardly around. We could tell that L kind of resented that me and roommates always were able to spend time together, but at the same time, L could have made a little more effort, maybe sparing one of the 4 days out of the week that she spends with her SO to spend time with us (or just me).
I feel a little resentment towards L too. I get that in a new relationship you want to spend a lot of time with your SO (and he's a great person), but I feel left in the dust now. Before we moved in together and before this relationship, L and I had all these fun plans, but we haven't spent any time together since moving in, and she is almost never without her SO.
She also just became sour-- she talks down to me and others a lot and in general has a bad attitude, and so I decided to separate myself from her because I have a ton of other stuff going on in my life and I didn't want to deal with her negative energy.
I'm fine with this friendship ending, I've been expecting it and tbh she can be pretty toxic. However, it just feels awkward to be around her and we tend to avoid each other, avoiding the negative energy that's still between us. How can I still live comfortably and also avoid any uncomfortable confrontation? | My friendship with a current roommate is dwindling out, and now I'm stuck with a lot of awkwardness and negative energy between us. How do I deal with it, both personally and when with her? |
t3_3nfnhu | relationships | I [21 F] am going to take my boyfriend [22 M] to meet my parents | Okay, so I have been with him for four months now, it is a long distance relationship. It was honestly love at first sight, I saw him, was attracted and same happend to him. That day he asked for my phone number and we havent stopped talking ever since.
The thing is, he was a drug addict. He told me everything about it, all his struggles, addictions to drugs I didnt even know existed and just things in general that kind of scared me away from him. This is where it starts to get tricky.
You see, he loves me deeply, and honestly I truly believe him, I am the first girl he ever took to his parents, he did a lot of treatments and stuff to prove to me that he in fact, left and is willing to leave drugs for me.
The issue is that, I do love him but the thing is my parents love me deeply and I know that if they found out about his past they would kill me, my parents are already so freaked out to meet him (first bf, am the smallest child), also, mom is kind of a narcissist, so social status is really important to her.
Im so scared, honestly I dont know, Ive never brought a bf home.. let alone someone with a past so dark. So I dont know what to do, I guess I just need some words of wisdom of people who went through this.
Thanks for reading, I hope you have words of wisdom for me, if not, thanks for reading my problems! | Taking boyfriend to meet the parents. He has a past of drug addiction. Scared as hell. Dont know what to do. Heeeeeelp |
t3_2ab2nm | personalfinance | M/26/NY/G.E.D. only, living in the U.S. for 4years, comfortably making 50k as Retail Supervisor, single. I want to take the next step in my career but not with my company (more details in comments) | I work for Costco, it's a fast paced, high stress kind of job but overall comfortable and enjoyable. I live with my parents I pay them rent with my total obligatory expenses monthly coming around 1,600, about 8% goes to 401k, leaving me with around 1,000 free after taxes . I want to move out eventually get a house, have a family and all that good stuff but I feel like it's not enough on my current salary.
I have been a supervisor a year and a half and could be promoted to Manager pretty much whenever I wanted, my boss really likes me and keeps telling me I should apply for a position the problem is this:
Managers for Costco are non-union, salaried employees meaning that right of the bath you are expected to work a minimum of 9+hours a day, with no defined lunch break or overtime. Managers at my location work 10 hrs everyday minimum, rarely taking more than 15 minutes to grab a quick bite, and with tremendous amounts of work and pressure from the G.M.
Starting salary? 62,000 with a fixed 3% annual increase and the possibility to climb the ladder, 65,500 senior manager, 73,000 Asst GM, 100k plus G.M. all these starting salaries. In my current position I'm a unionized employee, 40 hrs a week, overtime , two paid 15 minutes breaks and one unpaid half for lunch. I've been thinking long and hard about going for the promotion but I'm not willing/ready to give my life to the company in exchange for a better salary. But at the same time my position is a dead end, I'm 27 with no superior education. What would you do? Man up and stick with it, go for a bachelor degree? Are there any entry level companies that would hire someone with my credentials for a similar salary? | Making 50k, 26 in NY (fucking housing rates) comfortable dead end job, have the possibility of making 62k selling my soul to my retail employer. Looking for advice. |
t3_42s4hz | relationship_advice | Me (23/f) with my bf (26/m) pretty close to being done , not sure if i should give yet another chance | Dating for about 5 months, we have known each other for a half and a few months. We get along and click fairly well in certain areas of the relationship like being healthy , fitness and sex . sounds almost perfect right ? wrong . He has some issues he was supposed to deal with but still has not . Whenever we drink and he drinks to much he ends up having there I will call them "freak outs ". Which may I add am very done with and beyond sick of . He wil start off by saying he wanted everything to be perfect and now it is not the whole night is ruined , then I will ask him to stop and everything is fine, and lets just go to bed ( best solution ) for an intoxicated person . Well that did not work , so he wakes me up from sleeping , arguging saying as if I went to bed without him , and then i said yenno what i am done i am going home , go to get up lets me start to leave and then asks what i am doing and pushes me back on the bed , ( he can get some what aggressive , which scares me ) . He then rants on about how i deserve someone like my ex ( who treated me like shit and cheated on me . ) And this whole time he gets more mad and more mad telling me to listen and hes the man and stuff like that , FINALLY goes to bed because i finally just give in cry and go to back to bed because i was stuck.
And what really grinds my gears is in the morning or next day he wants to pretend it never happened and just have good night and carry on . | should i stay or should i go |
t3_140tnz | relationship_advice | Girl showed obvious interest and is now ignoring me? | We are both 16 and in high school. She was new to this school and at the beginning of the year (Sep-Oct) she was clearing into me. She had almost every indicator of interest in the book. I got her number eventually but I didn't really do anything else because I was a pussy and too scared to fuck up. The only text conversation we had was about school work which I initiated.
She ignored me for a couple a weeks, not saying hi in the halls, not showing any more IOIs. I catch her staring at me once in a while in class but thats it.
Yesterday I passed by her in the halls and she initiated a conversation, seemed really nice. I decided to text her today a simple "hey" but didn't get a response. | Girl that was obviously into me is hot and cold. |
t3_1frnqk | relationships | I am a [M21] who has trust issues, and not because my girlfriend [F21] ever did anything to deserve it. | So a long story short about our relationship. We were friends for a year and a half, and now have been dating for a year and a half. She is studying abroad in Spain for 60 days, so far it has been seven. Our relationship is strong and I have never been happier (nor she I hope!)
So I never dated anyone before her. I never kissed anyone before her. She has all my firsts. Her on the other hand... She has dated other people and kissed other guys. Two notable incidents are (before we dated) drunk made out with my best friend twice and drunk made out with her roommates boyfriends roommate.
Because of those things (even though it was before we dated) I have this fear of being cheated on. I don't know why! So, for example, she says she is going some place with some girls and going to grab drinks after, I get sick to my stomach for a while imagining a scenario where she cheats on me or drunk kisses some guy and I lose her.
There is no grounds for this I don't think. I don't tell her because she doesn't deserve to be scrutinized because of my insecurities! How can I just become more trusting because she has been nothing but trustworthy, especially while she studies abroad!?? I think it is rooted in my lack if experience in dating and or any intamicy with the opposite sex before her! | I have trust issues for no reason. Struggling to cope with it rather than keep it bottled inside me. Don't want my GF to hear anything about it because she deserves my trust. |
t3_luz33 | AskReddit | What dream felt very real to you, so much so that you woke up thinking it actually happened? | I was probably a little dehydrated and exhausted after a long day, but here's what happened.
I was struggling to fall asleep, but probably eventually did.
Looking at the ceiling (in the dark, obviously), I see something that looks like a **very** big spider crawling along the lamp. (Here in Israel, these big spiders don't exist, obviously, but my brain probably said, fuck that, let's scare the guy all the way)
So I told my girlfriend to slowly get out of bed, I bolted to get something to catch the fucker with, turned the lights on - obviously, nothing.
I keep searching while having cold sweat - until I realize - it was probably just a delusion. | Dreamed that a big spider was just crawling above me - just a delusion. |
t3_3yvsg4 | relationships | Me [26 F] with my BF [36] 2.5 years - is fear ever normal? | I don't want to ask this question to friends or family in case it unfairly alters their view of my BF, just in case it's a false alarm or whatever.
**My question**: Is being afraid of your SO when they are angry, even if they've never been violent before, ever not a bad sign? It feels like it should be a huge red flag, but I also feel like I'm being silly or overly sensitive because he's never physically direct anger at me.
He has thrown or punched things before, but once I told him how much it bothered me, he stopped and hasn't done it since (it's been well over a year, can't remember for sure). But for some reason, when he's really angry, I feel myself shutting down as a defense mechanism, waiting for a verbal or physical assault if/when I make the wrong move. Anxiety kicks in, my heart starts racing, and I try to figure out if I can reach my xanax without further pissing him off.
Is there any way that's not a big red flag and I'm just too sensitive? We've been together a while and see our lives and futures together, but I don't want to be one of those people who wakes up one day wishing I had paid attention to the signs 10 years ago. | Is some fear in a relationship normal - or at least, not an automatic huge problem? |
t3_48t5sf | relationships | My [17F] friend's [18F] Mother [43 F] is going to die very soon | My friend's mother is an alcoholic and has been for the majority of my friends life. Last month she was admitted to the hospital and now she has the news that the doctors don't think she'll make it.
My friend is really distraught and her parents are divorced and she is not close with her stepdad at all (he is abusive to not only her but to her mother) Her father comes back from Australia (after a two month holiday) today (I think) but she can't see him until the weekend.
WHAT THE HELL DO I DO??? I want to help but I haven't dealt with death in such a way. Am I a bad person for being so exhausted and it's only the second day of this news? I feel so selfish thinking about how I feel when it's pale in comparison to what she's going through. | My friends life is awful and now her mother is dying and I don't know how to help |
t3_2hycg8 | relationships | My (F19) Boyfriend (M21) Doesn't Love Me | I've been seeing my boyfriend, 21, since last December and we have been exclusive since March. In late August, after having been together 5 months, I told him that I loved him. He said it back, everything was good, woohoo.
Flash forward to a week later, I said it again for the first time since my initial declaration. He told me he had been drunk when I said it the first time (I knew he was drinking, but I didn't realize he was intoxicated) and he wasn't ready to say it again. He said he didn't regret saying it, and that he cares about me a lot. I was sad, but I decided to give him time.
It's been a month, and I haven't said it again, and neither has he. I don't know what to do. He's my first boyfriend, and on top of that, I lost my virginity to him a few months ago. I want to be patient, because I really do love him, but I feel like I deserve to be with someone who loves me. When we're together, we're great, we never argue, we're really good for each other, but I don't want to be strung along. He's graduating in the spring and he doesn't know what he's going to do or where he'll be, so maybe that's part of it? I don't really know. | My boyfriend of 6 months is wonderful but he can't seem to say the L word. (Not "lesbian") |
t3_235q8c | relationships | My [19 M] platonic love for a flatmate [20 F] has turned romantic and I feel a little incesty about it. | First off, we are university fresher's
I come from a slightly (**extremely**) messed up (**twisted**) background, moving out of the family home has done wonders for me, I have matured greatly and generally become more "myself". I am however still completely unfamiliar with "courting" (**and I don't want to fuck this up**)
I've never wanted to advance our relationship while we are living together. we are living very close but not together next year.
The last few weeks have been extremely painful for me; she sleeps around a **lot**. I have just had to watch and try and help her avoid making bad decisions.
I'm going to attempt some sort of diagram to show the progression of our relationship each number represents about a week:
---
key:
1: acquaintance---------------2: friend
3: close friend-----------------4: almost sibling
5: I fell in love with her...----6: pretty sure she like-liked/ fancied me for a while
---
Me :11 2222 3333333333 4444444444 555
Her:111 222 66 333333 444444444444444 | I was perfectly happy and content with our platonic love then some asshole chemicals in my brain decided I love her romantically now I would do anything for her. what would you do? |
t3_l4rvl | AskReddit | Boyfriend advice?? | Alright, so here it is.
I have been dating this guy for seven months now, and he just recently moved about an hour away for a job. I'm not 18 yet, (17) so I wasn't able to go with him. Ever since he left, I had been hearing all these stories about him cheating on me out there and even him cheating while he was with me here. I didn't know if I should believe it or not, so I asked him, and every time I asked, the conversation would end up with him yelling and cussing at me. So, I gave up, and stopped talking to him a few days. Yesterday, he decides to text me and ask for me back, saying that he has never cheated and he has not partied since he left (which I know for a fact is a lie). I decide to take him back and trust him. Then, I tell him that Saturday I was planning on hanging out with one of my guy friends (I don't get along with girls at all!) and he gets mad at me and tells me he doesn't want me to go. I just don't understand, I gave him all my trust back, after hearing all that, and he doesn't trust me when I tell him upfront that I'm hanging out with a guy, and I have no bad intentions. | Heard stories about my bf cheating on me hardcore, took him back, gave him my trust back, and he does not trust me to go and spend a night with a friend, when I told him upfront about it. |
t3_sjk6w | AskReddit | What's the worst drug experience you have had with someone? | I was married to my first wife (I was 24, she was 32) and our life was pretty dull. I liked to smoke some weed once and awhile and thought it would be fun to do together. I nudged her for several years to try, but she always resisted.
Then on New Years Eve of 2002 she decided she would like to try. She didn't want to smoke, so I made a milky tea concoction. I did my best to get the proportions correct and give her a nice high. She also insisted that I don't get high until we see how it affects her.
She drank the tea and things were great for like 15 minutes. She was laughing and recalling funny stories. It was the most fun we had being married. She was totally relaxed and fun. And then BOOM. She starts freaking out and getting paranoid. She's crying and yelling at me "Why did you make me do this? I'm going to die!" This went on for about two or three hours. She was on the couch and she was convinced that if she got up she was going to fall and die. Which has fine, except later in the night she needed to poop. I told her she had to go to the bathroom but she would not budge. She said she would just poop on the couch. This night was already bad enough, I didn't want feces all over my couch. So I got a bucket, held it under her while she pooped, then took it to the bathroom and flushed it. Oh yeah - then I had to wipe as well. I was gagging the whole time.
After that, she made me walk to a pay phone and call the hospital and ask them if she was going to die. This was 3AM. The whole ordeal started at 6PM. | My ex-wife begrudgingly got high and made me hold a bucket for her to poop into. |
t3_2kfls5 | offmychest | Im so busy I cant breathe | I'm a 3rd year design student at a state university. I'm taking 4 classes, 12 credits, ~20 hrs a week, which by my university's standards is nothing. To graduate in four years with my degree I should be taking 15 credits a semester, but I'm not, but I cant care about that right now.
Two of my classes are honors classes, meaning hours of reading and papers each week, with big research projects that I've supposed to have been working on since September. Honors Anthropology makes me feel like a bigot moron; we have discussions every class and each time I say something that I think is relatively intelligent and culturally sensitive and I feel like I end up sounding like the most ignorant insensitive jerk with people exchanging looks and the professor making confused faces. We need to write response papers for some of our readings and I've gotten 75-80% on the two I've turned in, with notes basically saying "You didn't get the point."
I have two jobs. I work Friday afternoons and Sundays all day, and my other job has me at meetings and working every other Monday from 6pm-2am. Meaning that Saturday is my only day off during the week, which is usually homework all day.
And my sculpture class is a fucking fulltime job. My web design class, the class for my actual major, sits on the backburner as its not as demanding but I'm bummed I cant focus on it more.
And my honors program requires me to do a huge project by the time I graduate (spring 2016 if I dont mess up). And I need to find an internship. And I need to study abroad.
Writing this out makes it seem like nothing, but I feel like I'm drowning. I spend all day working on school stuff and I dont know how I'd cram anymore in without going completely insane. Once these papers become due I don't know how I'll do it. I'm living day to day constantly doing things and I'm so stressed out my head just feels like a dark cloud. I cant drop out, that's not going to happen.
My only solace is that my week goes by so quickly because I'm always busy, meaning it'll be over sooner, but the big projects will be due sooner too. | My schedule is so jam packed and I don't have a weekend. I'm so stressed out I've been in a dark haze for weeks. I dont know if i can do the extra things my college requires me to do on top of classes. |
t3_2rk3vu | relationships | Me [29 M] with my GF [30 F] 5 years. She doesn't like using birth control and I am constantly worried about pregnancy. | My girlfriend and I have been together for five years and like every couple have talked about kids in the future. The problem is that she isn't on the pill and hates when I wear condoms. I have on many occasions tried to tell her that I want to wear one and had her pressure me not to. Luckily we have not had any unplanned situations arise, but every month that passes feels like I am playing on house money and taking a huge risk.
The thing that sucks is that she has never been on birth control the entire time we have dated and I have never pressured her to get on it because she said she doesn't like the effects it has on her body and I respect that. However, she also doesn't like the way that condoms feel (as if anyone does), hence the predicament I am in.
I am planning to quit my job soon to pursue my own business and I am very worried about potential pregnancy and the uncertainty with my finances. She says that she doesn't want kids right now but a big part of me believes that deep down she would be happy if she got pregnant.
I truly love her and I can see myself with her long term. I just feel so stressed about the possibility and know this is something that I cannot deal with whenever I begin pursuing my own business full-time. I am trying to figure out the best way to approach this. I don't want to break up, but if she stays adamant about not using condoms and continues to not want to take birth control I don't know what else to do? | Been with GF 5 years, she doesn't like using birth control, and I can't have a kid right now. |
t3_11614h | relationships | Please help me, serious relationship issues with my boyfriend. | Hello,
Let me begin with saying I have had a boyfriend for a very long time now. He is 24 and I am 19. We have been going out for about three years total. However, we broke up once, after 2 years, and went on break about a week ago. Firstly we broke up because I was not satisfying his relationship wants, more specifically, sex. I did not want to have sex with him, so he cheated on me.
I ended up realized why he did it and that it was indeed my fault. Well I tried to change myself to be more willing to the idea, and we did it more often. Anyway some time later, he told me I was being a bad girlfriend to him, and we need to put our relationship on break until I realize what I'm doing wrong because he's sick of explaining everything I do wrong to me.
Anyway in short, he recently lost his job, and we got back together. I'm just a girl going to college, I don't really have the funds to support both of us. He's making me buy stuff like videogames, clothes, food, etc. In short he spends more in a week on himself than I do in a month on myself. I'm not sure what to do anymore, I'm really low on funds, and he's low on his luck. I don't want him to think I don't love him anymore because he does not have a job, but I really can't afford his expensive habits. This relationship means a lot to me and I can't afford to risk it by rudely telling him I can't support all his wants.
The worst thing is, I don't think this is changing anytime soon. I have been buying him all his food, clothes, videogames, and even covering the bills when we go out. However I also buy him newspapers, with the job sections folded for him so he could find them easier. He hasn't even touched the newspapers I bought for him. Please help. Thank you for your time reading. | In short, how do I tell my boyfriend I can't afford to spend so much on him? |
t3_35g2pm | tifu | TIFU by starting to work at my friends place | So 3 weeks ago I started working at my friends place, I asked to be honest with things I did wrong, but he never mentioned anything;
The first 2 weeks I was just doing my own thing, and asked what to do and asked him to correct me.. which he never really did
Today was the 3rd time, I went there..
So everything was all right, when suddenly he just burst out screaming that me working there wasn't gonna work out, so I now have a feeling that he didn't correct me on purpose
We've been friends for a long time and I don't wanna ruin my friendship, but since he's been running that place he totally changed
After he screamed at me, I got this very bad gut feeling and just said bye,
And now I do not know what to do, or how to approach him, and I do not know if I even should.. and I just wanted to drop this off my shoulders..
Thanks for reading at least | I fucked up at my friends place and now I feel |
t3_nogvp | travel | Reddit, my brothers and rarely see each other. I want to plan something fun for this holiday. What do?!(Long Island, NYC area) | I have two older brothers. They both live in New York, but I live in Boston. I want to plan something really fun for the three of us to in the Long Island/NYC/Westchester/North Jersey/South CT areas, since I'm visiting for the holidays. I want it to be their Christmas gifts.
We're young (21,28,31 y/o). I'm thinking something along the lines of gun lessons, high speed go karts, etc. Just semi-extreme fun stuff. Oldest brother is deathly afraid of heights, so things like skydiving/bungee jumping are out (but something like a helicopter ride would be okay).
I'm on a somewhat tight budget, but if there's something that I HAVE to do, please let me know about it. I've searched for hours at this point and I'm having no luck, so I figured I'd see if Reddit could work its magic. | Three 20-30 y/o brothers need something memorable to do this holiday break in the New York Tri-State Area. |
t3_zbcc8 | BreakUps | [22] He says he doesn't love me anymore, but I'm not so sure. | Okay so my boyfriend of three years dumped me in April and sort of dated another girl. It ended quickly because she was nothing but a rebound from a really long relationship.
Anyways, during their relationship he would still contact me often. He would still text me, call me, IM me and everything like that and I've been through this before and it usually stops after a week or so, but it continued. He would call me after he got off the phone with her just to be able to fall asleep. And I was still in love with him, so I let it go on.
Sometime during the summer I cut off ties with him because he spent the night with he after telling me he wouldn't (because he had talked me into sleeping with him (I was drunk and still in love)). I blocked his number and refused to talk to him. I started dating someone else, but a week later we came in contact again and I allowed it.
A little while after this my boyfriend dumped me and his girlfriend dumped him. So we started spending a little but more time together. **This is where things get weird**. He would kiss me and hug me and hold my hand and buy me anything I asked for. He would ask me out on dates and hang out at my house and he bought and built me a computer. We had sleepovers and maintained what I **thought** was a relationship.
Then he tells me "I don't love you" and I'm sitting here confused because he's just been talking about living together and "our cats" and "our car (that he gave me a key to)" and we cook dinner together and he eats with me and sleeps over and he just talked about adopting kids...but...he doesn't love me...
Then when I tell him I'm confused he tells me we need to stop hanging around each other/cuddling/kissing/hugging, etc. I don't know what's happening. At all. I have no idea. | Boyfriend of 3 years dumps me, we both date other people but maintain contact, break contact and then regain it only to have significant others dump us and continue what seems like an absolutely normal relationship with each other (sex, cuddling, sleepovers, cooking, talking about moving in together) only to have him tell me he doesn't love me. |
t3_15h5zt | AskReddit | How to get ride of an harasser ? | My SO had this friend a little weird, which had obviously a crush on her, and which had been friendzoned a long time ago.
Since the past few weeks, I'm worried about his behavior : first, while drunk, he introduced into her mailbox, and changed her password. Then, when we discover it (protip : do not use two different ISP.), he was asked to not talk to my girlfriend or her friends during few weeks. He broke that request, and she now regularly receive sms from him. The last one takes about 40 lines about how he is sorry. He also said to her janitor that she gave him the authorization to bring a packet in her appartment. It was obviously wrong. We still don't know what is in this packet (which IS CURRENTLY in her appartment), since we are in vacation.
I do not want that anything bad happen to me or my girlfriend, but I don't really know how to deal with this kind of person.
I should probably add that I live faaar away from my girlfriend, so it's kinda hard to talk to him directly (even if it's probably what I'll do the next week).
Please Reddit, have you ever dealt with this kind of person before ? :( | A friendzoned is creeping. Broke mailbox passwords, then brought 'surprise' box into SO's appartment without permission after getting asked to make a step back. |
t3_3g5pu7 | jobs | Following up after a long time | I'm in an interesting position right now and am in need of some help.
Backstory: A friend of mine's sister helped me land an interview at a great company as a fundraiser. She told me to submit my resume and cover letter through her. I did and waited. About 2 weeks later I get an email from them asking me to come in for an interview the following week and they asked when i was available. I followed up gave my availability then didn't hear back. The next week I emailed again giving my schedule for the following week. I got a response this time stating I will be told early that week when my interview will be. Wait another week and you guessed it nothing. So i call and the person I had been in contact with is super apologetic, the company has been really busy, they moved buildings, yada yada yada. She promises me an interview the next week. Wednesday evening of that week I get an email asking if I can come in the next day to meet with the Director, Associate Director, and one of the Coordinators. I say of course and get there promptly 15 minutes before the interview. The interview, I feel went great, and the company seems so awesome. I left the interview stupidly without asking what the timeline would be and now I am sort of hanging out in limbo waiting on them again. I sent a Thank You the evening after my interview and its been a little over a week since.
Problem: Should I follow up, or should I wait longer? I've been unemployed for about 8 months and my patience is wearing thin, This is why i come to you all for help. | After waiting a month to go in for an interview, I finally went in, it went great and now its been a little over a week and I dont know if/how i should follow up. |
t3_20xc5z | relationships | Me [20F] has to hide my relationship with my [21 M] from my parents | My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for six months and he is wonderful. My parents are strict and would not accept my relationship, since he is not from the same country as I am. I basically live a double life, which I´ve done ever since I realized I wasn't interested in living a life similar to my parents. I do plan on telling my parents, but I think it's too early to introduce a guy I only have been dating for six months. This forces me to lie to them pretty much all the time. I do not live at home, so thankfully that is less of a problem. I know my parents will want no contact with me as soon as they find out, which is why I've made sure I'm not financially dependent on them or anything like that. It's still hard considering I love my parents and I don't want to choose between living a life that I want and pleasing them. I was wondering if anyone has any tips or if anyone has been through the same thing and could give me some uplifting words or advice, since it's basically just killing me lying to them like this. | Keeping my relationship hidden from my parents. How do I tell them when the time is right? Any advice? |
t3_12e2iz | relationship_advice | [25/f] am not physically attracted to my boyfriend [22/m] | I have been dating a guy for a little over a month now. He has the most amazing personality of anybody I have ever met. I laugh and smile all time, which seems to be rubbing off on him. We have very interesting conversations about so many different things. We are very much in sync with how we think and act. I feel deeply connected to him. The sex is intense and great.
The problem is that I don't feel any physical attraction to him. I feel completely indifferent to his body. Neither attractive nor ugly. I originally met him and got to know him online. I have fallen utterly in love with him and could never hurt him by telling him.
I don't know how to put my fears into words, but I am afraid. I have these dumb thoughts that I feel like are unjustified insecurities. I just don't know what to think.
Can a relationship work without physical attraction? Will it it bother me as time goes on? Am I being deceitful to him? I don't know what to do or think. | Not physically attracted to boyfriend but love him in every other way. Can it work? |
t3_invn4 | AskReddit | Any Jehovah's Witnesses (or ex), I need some advice on a family situation | The situation is thus:
In my mothers family, she has one sister who is a JW, married to an elder and another sister who has recently been disfellowshipped. My uncle, who is not a witness is getting married this weekend. My aunt's husband, the elder, was told tonight at a meeting that it was innapropriate for him to go to the wedding as it would mean coming into contact with my disfellowshipped aunt, but if he still wanted to, he could go but it would mean stepping down as an elder.
Now because of this, my aunt who is married to him and their two grown-up daughters are not attending the wedding. She just informed my mother who is now having a serious discussion with my father as to whether they should go or not.
Now I've not gone to the meetings in about 8 years and don't have much of an idea where to go from here. I always thought that necessary family contact with someone who has been disfellowshipped was ok and a wedding came under that category.
My brother recently got married and my disfellowshipped aunt was not invited at all, which I felt was extremely cruel. And now for part of the family to not go just because she is going to be there just feels like a real kick in the teeth. And it may also influence my parents into not going also.
The whole situation has upset me a great deal and though I've not spoken to anyone from my mothers side of the family yet, I know it is going to upset them, especially the uncle who is getting married (he lives in New York and his fiancee is Swedish, so a lot of people are travelling a long way for this to be held in Ireland).
I will still be attending but I need to convince my parents that it will be ok for them to attend. | A disfellowshipping (is that a word?) is about to cause some problems and upset for my family at my uncles wedding |
t3_1pup7h | relationship_advice | Girlfriend [22/f] is too clingy and it is ruining our relationship. I [22/m] enjoy having time to myself and she doesn't let me because she is constantly with me. | Background: We are both in college, and met while working before going to university. We have been together for over a year and have been in a serious relationship.
There is another underlying issue that is playing a large part in this. My gf's housemate is very pushy and demanding of her. Asking to do all kinds of unnecessary cleaning, constantly getting mad over little things, i.e. leaving box of cereal on the counter. Despite my insistence of her standing her ground, she likes to avoid confrontation and staying home.
This has led my gf to spending almost all of her time at my place, I have told her time and again this is not acceptable and she cannot live here with me. (We sleep together every night, eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, shower, work out, study, go to classes, everything.)
Every time I tell her I need space and she needs to go home she gets upset and does whatever she can to avoid her place, going to cafes, calling friends, going to the library, etc. When I do force her to go home she will cower in her room to avoid the housemate. In the end I feel terrible because I know my gf doesn't feel safe at home and she feels safe and comfortable with me.
This however has been taking a toll on me. I cannot stand spending more than a few hours a day with anyone, whether it is my mother, brother, girlfriend, or any other human being. We are constantly arguing about her fighting back with the housemate, and my need for space. I am getting exhausted and desperate for advice as to what I should do without making her go home and feeling guilty about it later. | Gf's housemate is a total prick so she basically lives with me, I cannot stand it and need alone time. I feel guilty sending her home. |
t3_2evro5 | relationships | Me [22F] with [21 M] 2 months, unsure if he likes me and what should I do | I met this guy like three months ago at work. I got out of a serious relationship 4 months ago. We were friends at first. Hanging out after work and being alone with each other as friends. But then we started getting feelings for each other. He would send me sweet text messages and flirty messages. But he hasn't asked me out on a real date. It is obvious that he likes me, but just doesn't make moves. He knows I got out of a serious relationship (5 and half year relationship). Could that be the reason he is not making moves? I can describe you guys more about the talking and texting if anyone asks. | Any helpful advice on what I should do to lead more out of the friendzone and into dating him |
t3_3i9ftm | relationships | Me [25 F] with my _boyfriend__ [30M] of 2.5 years, is it all about the spark? | So this is directed to long term couples .. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years. We have lived together for almost 2 years. We began dating soon after going through difficult situations on both ends (him a breakup and me with legal troubles), however we both tend to be more introverted and don't open up easily as well. This has caused many arguments over our time together. We have been consciously working on making our relationship better and Id say it's been going really well these past 6 months.
But I'm afraid I'm also really bored. I think we are compatible in many ways (intellectually, sexually), both want the similar things out of a partner (respectful, motivated, trustworthy) We both have full time jobs, have different hobbies we enjoy, workout together and steer clear of unnecessary drama. But I don't know why it's so dull when we are together. I mean I know energy flows both ways and I know it isn't his job to entertain me. But our relationship is so routine and monotonous, it's just so BLAH.
If I were to go into specifics i know it would appear that I'm being selfish and childish. But I guess what I'm asking is how can I go about changing my outlook instead of trying to get him to change his actions? Or is this something bigger than that? I mean, I know no relationship is perfect .. I've only been in one other long term relationship and this was never a problem (there were other much bigger ones) | I'm bored in my relationship but I don't necessarily want to break up. How can I change my outlook? |
t3_2hxy61 | relationships | Me [24 M] with my [18 F] GF of 5 months. Taking longer to text back, bad? | As of recently, my GF Has been taking slightly longer to text me back. sometimes it's instant but, other times it can take 5-15 minutes. It used to almost always be instant for our first 4 months. Is this a normal process as we move out of the honeymoon phase? She assures me she loves me and shes always really excited to see me, but It always causes me a lot of stress when she doesn't text me back right away. I'm always thinking, am I not a priority in her life, is she losing interest in me? ~
She's always initiating text with me, and I think she does it more often than I, but I feel as if this recent issue has some merit for worry. Am I wrong? This is also my first relationship and i'm a bit clueless as to whats to be expected. | Girlfriend taking slightly longer to text back than she used too, should I be worried? |
t3_12v1go | relationship_advice | Friends with benefits? | I am 19/m. Recently, I confessed my affections for one of my friends (21/f, lets call her Kat), who basically told me that a relationship was not going to happen. I took the bad news like a champ, because I honestly didn't expect much different, and we both decided to just stay friends.
Two days later, we watched a movie on her bed. Because it's late, when the movie finishes I decide that I'm just going to fall asleep right there. While lying there in the dark, Kat begins to repeat all of the reasons why we aren't dating, almost to herself. As she talks, I inch my body closer and closer to hers, until we are technically spooning. My nose brushes up against her ear, which turns out to be one of her (many) sensitive spots. She lets out a small moan, a confirmation of the desire I could already sense. I jumped on top of her and we kissed furiously, letting out all of the sexual tension that had collected the past two days. Then it is over, and we go back to lying as we were.
And so it continues. During the day we treat each other exactly the same, and at night we have make outs, hand jobs and dry humps (she is wary about going all out yet). But it is killing me on the inside a little bit. I don't want to just be scratching my sexual itch with her, I want to be with her! Not to mention that she is still technically available, and every guy I see hit on her makes me want to commit homicide. It's putting me in a bad place. Kat still refuses to date (she just came out of a pretty bad relationship), so I'm lost. Do I continue with this, and wait until she wants to actually date? Do I stop it right now, before I break down from the stress of this whole thing? I don't want to give it up, because this pseudo-sex is better than just staying friends. Is there any way I can reconcile my emotions to this type of relationship? | girl wants to do (almost) everything without actually dating. I want to date, but it's not going to happen. How do I deal with this? |
t3_49bwfp | running | So I'm a hot mess...trying to get back into running | Hello r/running!
As the title says, I'm a fairly unfit couch potato, one of those infuriating skinny types where I can eat nearly anything and not putweight on...but I'm extraordinarily unfit and to be perfectly frank, I'm a pretty lazy person. Give me the choice and I'll watch tv all day every day.
A couple of years ago I embarked on the couch to 5k plan. I never got further than about week 5, which equates to about 20 minutes of solid running. By 15 minutes of running I get these horrible sharp pains down the side of my neck into my shoulder (any ideas what causes this? It's absolute agony).
I managed to run 5k once, but I felt so goddamn awful afterwards I never pushed myself that hard again.
I haven't run at all for over a year now and although part of me hates it, I really want to get back into it.
I really need some advice, should I start he C25K again? Is there any other good training plans that you guys recommend? Running is really fucking hard for me, I have shitty asthmatic lungs and terrible stamina. Last time I saw some improvement with how long I could run before I had to stop, but it didn't feel like I was making enough progress. It was disheartening and made me feel horribly pathetic. | couch potato needs help getting back into running. Pls help. |
t3_47sjmd | relationships | Me [16F] with my sister [12F] duration, she is having a huge meltdown over not being able to buy concert tickets | Sorry, I'm on mobile. I'm A 16-year-old girl whose sister is having a gigantic meltdown. This started because she was getting frustrated when she was buying tickets for a concert. She will not stop crying and screaming. She will not listen to me and she is crying so hard I am afraid she is going to throw up. My parents are out at dinner and I do not know what to do. Can someone please give me advice. Some mental illnesses run in our family and I am afraid that she is developing one. I am really scared for her and I don't know what to do to try and help her please give me advice. Lately she has acted very strange she will have giant tantrums and crying fits every day. My parents are going to take her to a therapist tomorrow but I don't know what to do until then. I have tried to reason with her, calm her down, talk her through her emotions but she will not listen. | sister having meltdown |
t3_503j7n | relationships | Me [17 M] with my Girlfriend [17 F] of 9 months, she keeps cancelling plans and I found out she lied. What do I do? | My girlfriend has been cancelling plans at a very high rate recently. This week only she cancelled 5 different days we were supposed to meet each other.
Friday she said that she was spending time with her mum, Saturday and Sunday she cancelled plans so that she could hang out with her friends, Monday she says shes with her mum again and Tuesday shes hanging out with friends again.
I have nothing against her cancelling time with me for her to spend time with her mum, but I discovered that she was lying about why she cancelled Tuesday.
When I asked why she cancelled Tuesday she said that her friends *only* day off was on Tuesday *or* Sunday, only one day. I asked her again today and her story changed and she told me that her friend is free on Tuesday *and* Sunday. I felt crushed.
Now I dont know whether to even believe shes going to be hanging out with her mum? What do I do and what do I tell her? | Girlfriend cancelled 5 times in 1 week, I discovered she lied about the reason for why she cancelled 1 day and now I dont know what to do. |
t3_421du3 | tifu | TIFU by not locking up the goats | This was last week, but whatever. I sometimes help out in a small petting zoo that has a restaurant attached to it, that way the kids can go and see the animals while the adults eat and whatnot. Some animals are kept in pens, and others kind of just roam around, like a couple of baby goats. At the end of the day, we put all the animals in their respective pens. But on this day, for some reason I forgot to lock the goats, which has happened before, no big deal. In the morning, when i'm walking into the barn, I hear the most horrible wailing type sound and start smelling something foul. I walk in... and see the worst thing i've seen in my life. Apparently one of the baby goats got too close to the pig pen, and the pigs still being mighty hungry somehow grabbed a piece of a goat's face, and PROCEEDED TO EAT its face, WHILE ALIVE. All because I forgot to put it in the pen. :( | Didn't lock the goats up, one got its face eaten alive by 2 pigs |
t3_2g9y5i | relationships | [25 M] New friend [24 F] shows no intenion of dating aka Friend-Zone'd. How to respectfully end contact? | First I'll just go on the record and say I'm not particuarlly butthurt/salty/agitated/whatever other term goes here whether you believe me or not haha. Anyway, I met 'Sarah' around 4 months ago at an event and we hit it off pretty well on a friendship level. She was in the last stages of a bad breakup and I was seeing someone and though I wouldn't had considered her my girlfriend, I would only persue a romance with one person at a time so on that level then we were on the same page with no issues. I won't go into detail about it but I actually end up helping her a ton shortly after our first meet as she had been dealing with depression and anxiety and has few friends in the area.
Fast forward to modern day, she's officially 'single' and I've broke it off with the person I was seeing about a month ago as we weren't seeing eye to eye on where things were headed. In between the times though I end up hanging out with Sarah a ton especially since the lady I was seeing at the time left the country for a month. After my own break, I find myself having a lot more free time and I guess Sarah, being aware of this, invites me to do a lot more activities.
Where it gets a bit weird for me though, are the things she wants to do are seemingly reserved for romantic dates. I'm talking going to state fairs, horseback riding, couple hikes, stargazing at midnight etc. At first I didn't mind too much because her company was enjoyable but as time went on she started talking about how badly her dates have been going, how much she hates her exes, her health problems, issues at work etc.
So yeah, I don't know, I'm about to get a lot busier soon, oddly find myself with maybe too many female friends in my own mind, and realize I'm a bit tired of hearing all her life problems. I would be fine with it and of course supportive if this was a relationship, but for a new friend it is a bit too much. What's the best way to just tell her I'm going off on my own? | New friend seemingly wants to do relationship activites without actually having one with me. How to best end contact? |
t3_2j13h4 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 10 months, I think I found a clip of her in a porn | So I have a girlfriend who at no point has any prejudices against me masturbating, but today when I was browsing through the internet I found a five second gif of a sight that although I cannot be positive it her looks awfully like her. The shot never shows the whole face otherwise this question would be cut and dry. I want to confront her about it because it is eating me up inside.
I have never had any inkling that she has been unfaithful but now my confidence is shattered. The aspects of the clip make me think it was something recent. I worry that if I ask:
1) she will be offended I would even consider her possible of that
2) it is her and she doges or lies about the situation
3) this damages trust between us even if it isn't her
What would you do in this situation? | looking to jerk it, come across gif of what may or may not be my girlfriend, is it even acceptable to bring it up to her? |
t3_2df88l | relationships | Me [21 M] with my Ex [21 F] of 2.5 years, Failed NC a year ago and just re-initiated NC and am lost and afraid. | Dated a girl for 2.5 years and we broke up in April 2013 due to her being mentally unstable due to out LDR and a poor performance at her university (she wanted the break up, not me). She got a new boyfriend almost immediately (I assume she cheated, but doesn't matter anymore). I initiated NC then and broke around 10 days later after she begged me to talk to her again. We talked every now and then and she came home and cheated on her boyfriend with me a few times. All throughout this time, she kept telling me that she loves me (I believe to keep me interested).
I initiated NC again back in March or so to no avail because I felt bad after she called me crying and begging me to keep talking to her. I tutored her through skype until May where I got out of school and went to her school to help her study for finals (terrible decision, I regret it completely). Same story as before with her cheating on her boyfriend with me.
Fast-forward to this Monday, she came home to renew her driver's license (turned 21) and apparently to see me. We hung out Monday and drank with some friends. She started talking about hooking with some people at her school, to which I got upset and left the room, drank alone, and burnt everything that she ever gave me after I told her I didn't want her to stay the night with me. I ignored her for most of Tuesday until around 11pm where I told her I don't think we should hang out Wednesday (the day she's leaving). I then initiated NC again a few hours ago. I just have to drop some of her things that she forgot here.
I don't know where to go from here. I am losing one of the most important people in my life and I don't like big changes. I don't know how to meet new people. I am terrified that I won't ever date someone knew. I'm terrified of contracting a disease from some person (I've only had sex with my ex). I am truly lost and don't know what to do. | Ex and I broke up over a year ago. She said she still loved me to keep me around. Tried NC twice but caved after she begged me to keep talking to her. We hung out a few times and hooked up. She came back home for a few days to see me and stuff. Re-initiated NC a few hours ago and don't know where to go from here without her being a part of my life. Also don't know how to meet new people or start dating as I'm afraid of contracting a disease. Need advice/guidance. Thank you for your time. |
t3_smsvn | relationships | Can r/relationships tell me if I am being an idiot? | My girlfriend and I are both 21. We have been dating for 2 years. We just decided to start having sex and it has been great. We have even decided that we dont need to have sex to keep our relationship exciting. I feel that we have connected on a much more emotional level and things are great.
Fast forward to yesterday, I am cramming for finals and she goes to the bars with friends from work. A mixture of guys and girls, mind you I have complete trust in my girlfriend. However, we were talking about it and I asked her if she danced with any guys and she said yeah. I causally asked her about it and she was semi grinding/dancing with multiple men. One of which I am somewhat friends with. It kind of bothered me but I didnt feel the need to argue about it, I just said that I am a little disappointed.
What do you all expect from your significant other? Is this something that is acceptable? | serious girlfriend of 2 years doesnt think it is a big deal to dance with other men at bars and it bothers me. |
t3_31zkjr | relationships | Me [18 M] my girlfriend [18 F] 6 months, is upset and distracting me from revising for exams | So I talk with my girlfriend every day, multiple times a day, basically throughout the entire day. I meant to start talking less as I have very important exams coming up but I couldn't just ignore her so I kept talking with her as I had always done but this week I had to put my foot down, I am a normally straight A student but am now failing my subjects and my exams are very close.
So I told her we are going to have to talk less and that I will only talk to her in the evenings, she started crying. I comforted her but I can't help but feel it is an extreme reaction seen as we will still talk everyday.
So I got lots of work done the next day with no technology to distract me, about 8-9 hours of work. I turn my phone on to talk in the evening (around 10pm) and she is seriously mad at me, more so than I have ever seen before she said she hated me for not talking to her all day and was crying again. So I ended up comforting her as she was really upset, this took till 2AM the next day... Now I am sleep deprived for work, feel shitty and have lost valuable time. I care a lot about this girl but this is killing me. I think tonight I will not text her at all and go straight to bed, she will be angry but I don't have much choice if I want to pass. Is this the right thing to do? | Girlfriend wants to talk all day, even up to about 2AM. Distracting me from revision, I'm going to fail at this rate. Should I cut contact for now? |
t3_422pyt | relationships | Me [26 M] with a girl [24 F] I've been seeing for 3 weeks. We are totally into eachother, but she is afraid of labels. | I've been seeing this girl for about 3 weeks now. We are totally into eachother, there is no doubt in my mind. We have really long dates where we are always talking and laughing, we text and talk on the phone alot, we have gotten physical, and we see each other like 2-3 times a week. She has told me that shes into me, and doesnt want to date anyone else.
When I asked her if she would be willing to make it official with me, she said that she is afraid of labels. I was really surprised by this statement, because of how well we have been getting along.
I asked her what makes her afraid of labels and she said she didnt know... but that she needs some time to figure it out...
Im not really sure where to go from here. We still have plans to see eachother more, but im not sure what we are, and neither is she.
So I was hoping that people here who have had similar situations could shed some light on this situation. What would make a girl afraid to put labels on a relationship? | Guy and girl completely into eachother, dating a ton, but she is afraid of labels. Anyone know why she would be? |
t3_3ez67f | relationships | Will probably be getting married in few years by parents [53M & 44F] & I [24M] don't seem to have an idea of my ideal partner in mind. | I will try to keep it short. Let me tell you a bit about myself, I am presently located in Canada & I come from a conservative indian family & like a lot of indian parents, my parents too want me to be married in quite a few years since I am quite stable now financially. One more thing is I suffer from a congenital disease which hasn't really effected my life in anyway except it becomes apparent when I walk or run. Sometimes I have wondered myself that what if someone rejects me because of this? But in the end, I try to assure myself thinking if someone has to accept me, they will look beyond this.
Me & my parents have talked about this on a few occasions & they have expressed indirectly that they might have issues if it's a love marriage. I totally understand that & I have come to the conclusion that I kinda suck in that area (having a gf et all). But in the end they said that it would be my decision to choose whom I want to spend my life with.
Now coming to my main question & let me rephrase it, I don't really know what kind of girl I want to marry. My friends have told me that you will know. But then my question is, how would I know? I can't possibly know about her from one meeting. Most importantly, what kind of questions I would ask her so as to know if she's the one?
I do have some girls in my circle but since I am little reserved, I don't interact with them that often I would say. | I don't have any idea what kind of girl I want in my life. |
t3_1rpwiz | relationship_advice | [19/m] This girl I'm seeing [21/f] is rushing me into a relationship - She has a kid, and I don't know what to do. | Hey folks. The title explains a lot. She's honestly great, but there's some things I feel we won't see eye to eye on. For example, she likes to go out clubbing. I'm not much of a fan of that. I like live music, she likes dancing. There's other minor things to be listed, but they're not huge differences. We just have different tastes in a lot of ways. We share a few hobbies, and I love being around her.. but the fact she has a kid is putting me off. She seems to be responsible and everything, and I've been in semi-serious relationships before.
Now here's the real kicker; I met her on OkC. We live in a small town, and she was drinking the night I met her and insisted I come over to "hang out". She was easy.
She hasn't been in a relationship for a year, and I haven't been committed to anyone for 2 years either. She's taking things really fast, wants to "make things official" after only 2 weeks of hanging out.
She admits to having a lot of one night stands, and says she's slept with nearly 30 men so far. This kind of puts me off as well, I've slept with 6 including her.
She also keeps trying to introduce me to her daughter. I'm good with kids, but I really don't want to meet hers just yet. It feels like everything's moving way too fast.
I don't want to miss out on a great girl, but I'm worried our personalities may clash a bit. We have a few obscure hobbies in common which is really cool, but we're opposite on a lot of things. I want my next official relationship to be with the right person. She's not the typical girl I'd date. What should I do? If you guys want any clarification on anything, feel free to ask. | Really like girl. some similar interests, opposites on a lot of things (50/50 ratio i'd say) - she has a kid, rushing me into relationship. always wants to hang out, has been single for a year, but has slept with a lot of people. she's responsible. what are the best kinds of relationships you guys had? |
t3_1gb0sh | relationships | My (20m) best friend (17f) and I kissed last night. I need redditors input | I've known her for 2 years. I was dating my ex when we met and I thought she was a chill, easy going girl. She liked me a bit but we eventually turned into really close friends.
I would go to her to talk about anything I needed to and she comes to me also. She knows the real me and we are both very comfortable and not scared to talk about anything. She accepts me for me and I accept her.
Lately I've been thinking about how people say your girlfriend or wife is your best friend. And I thought hmm it's weird her and I have never had any intimacy or anything. Just friends. I even once said I should find a girl like her because we are so open.
Well I told her how I've been thinking this and she said she has thought the same thing. We keep talking and both of us began thinking about " what if". Well I dropped her off and we both texted each other at the same time and started talking about what we are thinking. Eventually I went back to her house. Adrenaline pumping, heart racing and I was gonna kiss her to see how it felt so we didn't have to wonder what if. Well we started talking and we hugged and it felt good and right. We held each other for 10 minutes on the driveway and eventually decide to kiss. We both were smiling like crazy and we didn't want to stop.
When I left I started thinking about it and started to think if I made the right choice. I've thought about her every now and then while being friends and I did like her for a bit. I'm just scared of hurting her if it doesn't work out and scared of losing my best friend.
She is scared of getting hurt and losing me as a friend also.
So my question is , what would you guys do? Do you risk the friendship and see what happens? Do you leave it and never know? Does it sound like we should give it a shot? So many things running through my head. I'd love some unbiased input. | best friend and I kissed. (20m)(17f). We both liked it. But are scared of losing the friendship if it doesn't work. And scared of hurting each other and getting hurt. What would you do reddit? |
t3_38rfty | relationships | Me [27M] with my casual gf/FWB[25F] of 6 months, thinking it's time to ask her to be in a full relationship or move on. | When we first hooked up it was great, incredible sex, leave each alone the next few days, then do it again. Eventually we start to do more, going camping together, hiking scenic mountains, long road trips. So I started to want more, and clearly stated such. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship, and asked if I could give her some time to figure it out. I obliged cuz I'm dumb.
In April we "broke up" after a getting drunk at a concert, and into a fight afterwards. We had break up sex, and she told me to stay the night which was fucking weird. We talked it out a few days later, and she said she was just drunk and knew I was still looking to be her bf, but she was frustrated because she still wasn't ready for it and didn't want to bring me down.
Breaking up with her made me question if I wanted a relationship with her, so I was back to a casual situation. After we again started messing around together I made her promise to share any feelings she had for me openly, and I'd do the same.
At her 25th birthday party 3 weeks ago, she treated me like a bf, introducing me to her friends, kissing me in front of ppl, cuddling me, cooking food together, and I gave her the usual birthday treatment. Which was fucking horrible because all I could do was think about how awesome it'd be to be with her. So I'm back in that mode.
We haven't had sex since her birthday. And I've been away on business and haven't seen her much. I feel like I need to tell her I again want a relationship again now and ruin all the good things we have together, because I'm fairly certain she doesn't want the relationship and will turn me down. I just want to get this off my chest to the world, and here some advice. | I'm thinking it's time to give a relationship ultimatum with the quasi gf, that she'll probably reject, thereby making me life less fun. |
t3_1ryz0p | relationships | Me [27 M] do I dare go after my friend's Ex? | Not to give away too many details but my best friend broke off the relationship with his GF of about 8 months due to distance. The girl and I have been friends for most of that time and I've helped them through the few rough patches they went through and I believe that our personalities are compatible. I have liked her for a while, but only now would I ever consider asking her out. From the vibes I'm getting from my friend, this shouldn't adversely affect our friendship since he is moving on.
So /r/Relationships, do you have any experience with this? Am I walking into a pit of fire? | Thinking of acting on a crush on my best friend's Ex |
t3_irwfh | self | Want to get a career in technology back on track. Advice? | For as long as I can remember, I have always been interested in computers. When I came to college, I was a Biomedical Engineering major hoping on focusing on computation and electrics. But I slacked off, failed most of my classes, and got kicked out of the engineering school.
Now I am a philosophy major with only some **very** basic C++ and web design skills I picked up along the way. Since I only have a year and a half left before I can graduate and I want to stay at my current university, I'm more or less stuck in my current major. I enjoy it, but I understand my career prospects with a philosophy degree are basically zero.
What can I do to get a career in programming back on track from here? Right now I am depressed that I am stuck working a retail job this summer once again while most of my friends are doing prestigious internships. | Fucked up as an engineer. Now a philosophy major. How do I get a "real" career path started again? |
t3_2vt37t | relationships | I [15 M] got into a fight with my girlfriend [15 F] and she broke up with me a few days later. She says she just doesn't have any feelings anymore. Should I just move on or try to fix things? | Our relationship was perfect, in about 4-5 months this was our second fight. We've always made each other happy. She had been super busy because of extracurricular activities and we hadn't really spent much time together for the past three weeks. Saturday night was the first time we were seeing each other outside of school for three weeks, and she had been out doing extracurricular stuff all day. She was exhausted, and fell asleep. I left early, pretty upset, and we got into a fight over text. I could've avoided it, but I didn't realize it would be this major.
Nothing terrible was said, it was rather tame I think. We were both tired and upset. However, I did start a fight over stupid shit. I should've handled it better, made it more of a discussion than a fight.
Sunday she said she thought we should end it, she didn't think it'd work anymore. I told her we could get through one stupid fight on my end, and convinced her to try and make it work. On Wednesday she said she just didn't love me anymore after I started that huge fight and got so mad about something so small, and that she doesn't think she feels anything beyond friendship. She ended it. She also said explicitly that this was solely because of the fight.
We're still really good friends, talking all the time, but I don't know what to do. I would do anything to get her back, and I think maybe if I wait a while and just be her friend, maybe I could get her back. On the other hand, I don't want to have false hope and prolong this process of getting over her. | We had a fight and she doesn't have any feelings for me anymore, even though the day before she loved me madly. Should I just move on? Or should I give her some space and try to get her back in the future? |
t3_47bze2 | relationships | Me [36M] with my staff member [25?F], been asked by my boss to talk to her about her body odor. | I manage a smallish store selling stuff, that is part of a chain. We received a call from another store today saying a customer had come into them saying the staff member that served them (from my store) had bad BO.
So, the owner has decided that I get the joy of talking to the staff member involved, about this problem.
I really dont know how to go about this. Not only is there no way to not have this be super awkward, I don't think she actually smells that bad. She definitely has a smell about her, but I think its more a cultural thing, perhaps more to do with what she cooks with at home etc.
Does anyone have any experience in handling this sort of problem?
I think for me, its more the fact that the staff member is female. My male staff I have no issues at all to just tell them to put some more deodorant on. | How to I tackle talking to a female staff member about her odor? |
t3_2863oe | relationships | My boyfriend (24/M) has invited me (24/f) to 'Night at the Races', but I don't want to go, because I'm against horse-racing | My boyfriend and his friends are off to night of dinner and horse racing, and I've been invited along. Problem is, I'm very against horse racing, and so I really don't want to go because; a) by spending money there, even just purely on dinner, I'm supporting a place that supports horse racing, and b) because I wouldn't be betting anyways. My boyfriend seems ok with my reasoning, but I feel horrible leaving him as the only guy without a partner there. It shouldn't be a big deal, all of those attending are his friends that he's known for years, but I don't want them to think badly of me for declining the invitation (especially as I haven't met almost all of them yet). Anyone have any advice on how to approach this situation? | Boyfriend invited me to horseracing event- an activity that I don't support. How do I not feel bad about turning down the invite? |
t3_r80i4 | AskReddit | Reddit, how do you stay motivated without becoming obsessed? | So I seem to have this problem, where I'm either extremely motivated (to the point that I'm obsessed with something) or I'm not motivated at all. I'm currently experiencing this with a volunteer position I took on with a presidential campaign last Fall.
When I started I literally was in my local office upwards of 65 hours a week. I was given more and more responsibilities, and I eagerly accepted them; I'm now in charge of volunteer operations for an entire county (still an unpaid volunteer myself). From September until early February, I literally devoted 95% of my time to the campaign, to the point of neglecting my personal and academic life. In early February, I was informed that my boss was getting a promotion, and that she would be moving to another field office. During the transition phase things fell apart. I didn't get a paid promotion that had been promised to me for several months, it instead went to a political appointee (someone who knows someone important). When that happened, I literally lost all my motivation to work for the campaign. Since early February I've barely been in the office for more than 2 hours a week, my team of volunteers is slowly yet surely falling apart, and my motivation to go back dwindles away even more with each day that passes.
This seems to happen with any longterm project that I take on. Whether that be learning a long and complicated piece of music (I play the Cello), dieting/losing weight, etc. I can't seem to moderate my level of motivation and commitment. It's like I have an on/off switch; either I'm completely gung-ho or I don't want anything to do with the project in question. So Reddit, can you give me suggestions on how to stay motivated without becoming obsessed? | I'm either completely committed to a project (to the point of obsession), or I want nothing to do with said project. How can stay motivated without getting obsessed? |
t3_zjm4y | AskReddit | Reddit, my dad has been calling the past 2 days to take him in to an urgency care because he feels like he has something crawling inside his toes. Help? | To give you an idea how I'm feeling, I'll explain my history with him. I've grown up with him on and off up to 15 years old. I'm now 20. Since he was in his 20's he's had a huge meth problem. After I turned 15, I decided to live with friends/family friends and now with my fiance and our son. Since then, I have tried to keep him in my life, but he hasn't really even wanted to much, and I personally don't want my son to be around his grandfather at all while he's using drugs.
Now, There has been a time where he called me, high off of his ass, and has told me that there was something crawling inside his body. I went to see him, and he wouldn't except any medical care. But this time, he wants it, and he doesn't sound like he usually does when he's high. | My dad has been a meth addict for the whole 20 years of my life, and he won't get help for "Something crawling in his body" without my help. What should I do? |
t3_q595b | AskReddit | Anyone have some ideas? | I am a 19, almost 20 year old female. I'm not going to grow old, wishing I had done something memorable, maybe even inspiring. All I have is raw determination. I'm making this happen. Maybe, soon. Who knows how and when life is going to soon shift your way. A one-way ticket in hand, clothes, and a tent packed up. Basically, no money left over; but I have absolute, pure determination: I'm going to back-pack Europe. What are some ways I could make the money for this, giving I have limited money now for things, such as supplies for projects? | I'm going to back-pack Europe with little money, but need ideas on how to achieve at least enough for the ticket and some extra cash. |
t3_2pf855 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of just over a year, her mother still acts entitled to boss her around [49 F]. | My first time posting to relationships so please be patient with my ability to explain the situation and any ignorance of the rules/guidelines! Thank you!
So from the beginning. My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year and have a 2 month old daughter. We live in her grandmother's apartment-style basement (that we rent out). My girlfriend has a very large family. Because of this there are a large amount of family events and we end up spending a lot of time with my girlfriends mother.
She acts far more entitled than she is and seems to be under the impression that she is still the boss of my girlfriend. Examples: Every time she comes over to the upstairs portion of the house for dinner with us and her mother, she always pulls my girlfriend aside right before she leaves and says
>"you're going to help with dishes ***right***?
Even though my girlfriend has already offered earlier and helps with the dishes every time anyways. Ever since she found out about my girlfriends pregnancy she's said my girlfriend did not have her 'permission' to get pregnant and still maintains that she owes her in some way. Just a few moments ago, she texted my girlfriend saying
>"If [my girlfriend's nephews] come over this week [to the problematic mother's house] does Wednesday or Thursday work better?"
She didn't ask her to come, she's just assuming that she'll help babysit.
This behavior is a little bit ridiculous and i'd rather stop it now than in years to come. | My girlfriend's mother acts like she's entitled to boss my girlfriend around and take control of her life. |
t3_1w0j4q | relationships | I feel like my [19 F] boyfriend [M 22] does not try hard enough for our relationship. But then again, am I asking for too much? | Hey /r/relationships! As of late, I'm confused and feeling very hurt over my two year relationship with my SO.
Recently, the two of us have been arguing pretty heavily every time we see each other and its starting to affect out relationship pretty badly. The arguments usually pertain to the state of our relationship and how I feel a significant lack of passion and care coming from him.
Ofc I know that a part of this is due to us being together for a good while now, but at the same time, I feel that he does not genuinely care about the concerns and issues I bring up. He is always quick to say "okay honey I'll change" or"I'll try harder" and I guess in a lot of ways he does.
My problem is that I feel like he only trys so far as to satisfy my nagging. Its hard to explain but I guess I feel that he uses quick fixes like saying I love you more or buying me things instead of actually putting effort into fixing the real issues we have. (Dismissive of my feelings, boring dates, little to no substantial communication)
Not to mention that when I do bring these things up he becomes very defensive and feels like he can do no right when I try to explain fully that its not a problem with him per say but the relationship as a whole.
the thing is, im starting to feel bad because maybe I am asking for too much. I know he is not a mind reader and can't grant all of my wishes, I just wish there was more effort put into our relationship instead of just checking items off a list and expecting me to be happy with just that act alone... | I feel passionless in my two year long relationship. I feel there isn't any substantial effort put into fixing our core issues and I'm scared that maybe I'm being too unreasonable, or worse, simply not in love anymore. What should we do to fix this? |
t3_x6koz | relationship_advice | [19/f] Thinking about getting back together with my previous boyfriend; bad idea? | I broke up with him about 3 months ago after being with him for 2 years because things had been bad for a while (he was going to school 2 states away, we were having trouble with long distance) and then I met someone else. I've been dating the new guy for 3 months now and he recently told me he loves me, and I think I feel the same way, but I'm not entirely sure. And now my ex is back for summer break, and the feelings are still there. We've talked about getting back together, and it's what I want, but I'm worried about hurting my current boyfriend or the relationship not working out and losing both of them. I feel like a terrible person. | I had a boyfriend for 2 years, broke up and met someone else, been dating new guy for 3 months, considering going back to my ex. |
t3_140z2g | relationships | My SO [f22] want her and I [m22] to move in together. I am happy about this, but at the same time I have concerns. | This is a throwaway account as some of her friends are redditors and they may or may not know my main account.
My SO and I have been dating for 5 years now. I would say the relationship is fantastic. Recently the idea of us moving in together has come up. I am so excited that she is on the same page as me, as I would LOVE to live with her. There is a few problems that worry me though. I also need to get the hell out of my house as it is very hostile, but that is a whole other story.
1) We are both in school and because of this we have a lot of expenses. She is actually beyond okay in the money department, but I am not. I struggle with my monthly bills as it is and she often helps (she will fill my gas tank up, buy me lunch at school small things). I don't ask her to, she just kinda does it. I am afraid that I will not be able to keep up with bills. I talked to her about this and she said we can make it work. I am afraid she means "when you don't have the cash I'll handle it." I really don't want her to be paying for everything including my share.
2) Handling space. I am not sure how her and I would manage giving each other enough space. Right now it is easy as we both have a lot of homework and such to do and we do not live with each other. If we move in now we will be in the same college, same house, same mall (where we work). When is it to much? I BMX but since it's winter I can't do this as much. | My minds a little jumbled, I am excited and want this, but at the same time I don't want to live off of her. Currently, with my bills it would be a 80/20 bill split. Hers being the 80% and I can't do that... |
t3_25p99f | relationships | Me [18F] dating [18M] for about a month now, he's shy and inexperienced, and I don't know how to help us progress | Hey /r/relationships
I'm an 18 year old female who has a decent amount of experience with sex and I have recently started dating an 18 year old guy who has none.
Neither of us has any experience with a proper, adult emotional & sexual relationship.
He's shyer than me and has social anxiety which contributes to that. I've made all the moves so far (asking him out, kissing him) but things are moving extremely slowly because I'm also emotionally shy.
My problem is basically is that I've never been with someone who is this physically inexperienced. I don't know how to go about this relationship in a way that I can show and teach him to become more emotionally and sexually confident.
I don't know how to make someone feel safe about the emotional sides of progressing sexually and being forward without feeling awkward and scared.
I know that I'm going to have to lead us in the beginning, but I don't know how to do it in a way that will allow us to achieve a balance later on: I don't want it to turn into something where I always initiate and he just goes with it. I want him to be open about his desires and worries, but I feel there is this awkwardness between us preventing us talking about it: I feel like we're just not comfortable enough with each other yet for me to be able to confront him about all of this. And even if I did, telling, I feel, will not have its full effect unless I show him too, and I'm just not sure how to go about it. I'm new to this too.
It might be a different story if he had gone through this with someone else before and that he is just shy, not inexperienced, but that's not the case.
So anyway, can you guys help me out a little or offer some advice?
Thanks for reading! | I'd really rather that you read my post, but how do I progress in this relationship with someone who is completely inexperienced and shy? |
t3_1awg1j | relationships | am I a doormat?? | I (26/m) have been with my gf (27/f) for 4 years. During the first year she was meeting up with ex bf's, ex fuck buddies, etc who she now claims are her good friends, but promised me she would stop talking to them. She didnt.....2 years down the path, she goes on vacation with her mom for a week, comes back and dumps me out of the blue. says shes not interested in me any more. We dont talk for 4 months, then calls me crying and telling me she loves me (says she dumped me cuz i was a horrible bf). We start dating again, and she says she hasnt been with anyone. Then 9 months I see txts from old fuck buddies on her phone and confront her. She lies and says she hasnt talked to anyone ?!? A month later she gets really drunk and tells me she fucked someone while on vacation, and then dated another guy after she got back....apparently the guy she dated treated her like shit so she called me back....thru all of this she says she loves me and wants to marry me.....am I crazy wanting to be with her??? | gf cheated, lied, and I feel like a doormat, need a second opinion tho |
t3_g0tcc | AskReddit | How do I break up with my girlfriend? | I've been dating a girl for about 9 months and I don't want to be dating her anymore. We get along great and have lots of fun, but she is much more emotionally invested in the relationship than I am.
To me she is pretty much just a girl who I am friends with and we also have sex, but she loves me (or at least tells me so). I feel like staying in the relationship is unfair to her, on top of being something I'm not really interested in.
I've stuck around for a while for convenience, but I feel like I'm kind of being a dick by remaining with her. I'd prefer to not be a huge ass-hole or alienate her as a friend/acquaintance for the rest of my life, as well. Suggestions? | I want to break up with a girl who loves me more than I do her |
t3_18skkw | relationships | I [19m] do not know if I have a sexual connection with her [20f]. | I find myself thinking about her day to day and wanting to kiss her more when I'm alone, however when we actually do kiss and make out, I do not feel my heart race or any "sparks". Am I just now at the point where a kiss isn't as passionate as it used to be?
Some details if need be:
We meet about 5 weeks ago. For our most recent date, we cooked a meal together and watched a movie at her place. Lots of talking, laughing, and touching. Toward the end of the night we begin to make out. 20 minutes here, 20 minutes there.
An hour or so in we are in her bed with mostly everything off. However, when I go to take her pants off so that I can feel her skin and so she could cool off (stop the sweating) and she said she cannot go down there tonight. I did not think about this since I never push for anything she doesn't want to do and she is **very** inexperienced (and frankly I didn't care. I was having s good time) We continued with foreplay and making out until we where too tired then went to bed.
The next morning it was the same thing. An hour or two of foreplay and making out then we got hungry. After some breakfast we started up again and again I could not become erect. I cannot figure out if this was due to no sleep, five hour energy, or that lack of sexual chemistry. | After a lot of making out and foreplay I am not sure if I have a sexual chemistry with this girl. I enjoy doing sexual things with her however I do not feel any "zing" or have my heart race. Seems I am not getting as much pleasure as I used to from the same things. Am I just getting used to these things now? Is there no sexual chemistry? |
t3_3njwvk | relationships | 20M approached me, 19F, and admitted feelings for me just a month after he got dumped by girlfriend 20F of four years. I got together with him but I'm afraid I'm just a rebound. | Hello!
Recently (August), I was asked out by 20M. I started developing a crush on him around June but he unfortunately had a girlfriend (a girl who hangs out with the same group of friends I do), so nothing came of it. Then out of the blue, she breaks up with him. I try not to be too overjoyed but of course, I am. I still feel guilty about this. I made no moves until he approached me at the beginning of August. I admitted my feelings to him and he also admitted he had started developing feelings for me too after the break up.
So, a few weeks later (end of August) he asks me to be his girlfriend and I say yes! Right now we're really happy. We're both in university and live about an hour away from each other but he comes to visit a lot and I love it. I'm having a great time. The only issue is I still feel bad about his ex. I was becoming relatively good friends with her and she approached me after 20M and I got together, telling me she was devastated because she'd realised she still loved him. I was hurting, I knew there was a possibility he could go back to her, but he didn't. She told him too but he just said it's too damn late.
All of my friends are also commenting on the fact that I'm probably just a rebound. After being with his ex for four and a half years, it is a little weird that just a month later he admits feelings towards me, but that doesn't have to mean I'm a rebound does it?
I'm pretty confused because a part of me believes he'll only be with me if he really wants to be with me. There's a chance he just found me and preferred me over her. There's also a chance though that he needs someone to help him recover from a breakup, and that's just me. I'll only be here for a few months, perhaps. | Got together with a guy who's my friend's ex and was with her for four years. People say I'm just a rebound. |
t3_16ei1f | AskReddit | Question about wetting the bed? | Alright so I'm 18 and I had a really, really F'd up dream last night, and by that I mean just a mix of horror, weird you name it. Anyway, I got to a part of my dream where I just randomly starting peeing, and It felt to me like I hadn't used the bathroom in a year, pretty much a fire hose size stream, I soon woke up and immediately checked and I had indeed wet the bed but a very small amount. I've never wet the bed after like infancy before and I was just curious as to why in my dream I pee'd so much but in reality it wasn't a lot. | Took a horse sized piss In dream woke up to find the actual amount of piss was hardly any, why? |
t3_1o6a8f | relationships | [19 M] Should I be worried about my girlfriend cheating on me? | I met the girl I'm currently dating last May and we instantly hit it off. I've never felt so connected to someone so quickly in my life. But when I initially met her she was currently in a relationship with someone who went to school about an hour away from where we go to school.
That didn't stop us though, we would always hang out and get intimate, she always felt guilty but I guess that didn't stop her. We decided that it was wrong so we put our relationship "on hold" and she dated this guy for a couple more months before they broke up and now we've been together for 2 months.
She described her relationship with her ex to me as very poor but who knows maybe she was just saying that to justify cheating? But my thoughts are if she can cheat on her boyfriend then she can cheat on me. Should I be worried about this? Is this something I should tell her? | When I met my current girlfriend she was cheating on her boyfriend with me, should I be worried she'll do the same to me? |
t3_2ki51b | relationships | I'm (21/F) in need of advice regarding relationship with boyfriend (22/M) | So, here's the thing- my boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. But he wants me to change a few things about me:
- my weight- as in he wants me to lose weight.
- my self esteem- it's totally non existent, and has been for a long time
- the way I handle things- I stress out very easily. For example, I lost my flash drive today, and I panicked and cried a lot; especially since I major in graphic design, so there were a few large projects on that file.
It's to the point where he's very stressed about it, and I fear that he will be so sick of my shit that he'll break up with me.
Any advice about these topics and how to change them would be appreciated... | need advice on losing weight, raising self esteem and reacting to things better because of boyfriend, and in need of any advice |
t3_2o0z1j | relationships | My [24F] mom [53F] was hurtful about my break up with my ex [28M] | Hello.
I broke up with my ex bf whom I was with and living with for 2y and a half in early September.
My mom and him were fairly close, visiting museums and stuff together when she came for some holidays.
Late November she asked me for his number. I thought it was related to my moving soon and gave her while asking why. She never answered and sent him a text. I learnt yesterday the contents of this text.
"Hello [ex]. I'm very sad [my nickname] left you. You are adorable, that's my opinion... Kisses"
I really think it is inappropriate, the idea behind leaves me thinking she doesn't support my choice and she went behind my back. Especially when its 3 months after, out of the blue. When I confronted her about it and told her it may have hurt him to read that, she said :
"If he really wanted to be with you, he would have fought for you and he didn't."
She didn't understand why I was hurt and doesn't think it was all inappropriate.
How can I forgive her if she doesn't apologize or even understand what she did ? | my mom said inappropriate things to my ex bf by text then was mean to me when confronted. |
t3_xxhtx | self | Not sure where to post, but I need help finding a GED testing location that isn't so costly | Okay, I apologize if this isn't the right place, but I just thought I would ask here as reddit is quite knowledgeable. I've done quite a bit of googling and I just can't find anything. I've searched and searched, and that's why I've come here.
I live in Colorado, and the prices for all the GED tests in one go is $120-$150, and I just don't have that kind of money right now, nor am I going to take an individual test until they're all done. I'd rather get it all over with in one shot. I don't need GED prep or any online thing. I read somewhere that legislature was passed where food stamp recipients can get free GED or something along the lines, and I've still had no luck. I don't pass the requirements for any disability. I've read that some libraries, community colleges, and vocational schools have reduced prices, but I have no luck with that either. There was something for CollegeAmerica where they would pay for your GED test if you went through with the prep, but the accreditation is limited to their schools, and I don't want to shut the door on more possibilities.
Maybe I missed something. I would greatly appreciate any help or any tips. | I need to find a place in Colorado where the GED test prices are either reduced or free, or another solution such as going through an accredited community college GED program where I can then transfer. |
t3_397zay | relationships | Me (20m) and my gf (19f) of 4.5 yrs have been having issues. Tried everything we can think of but nothing is working out. | So i have been with her for 4.5 years so far. For the first couple years everything were all fun and dandy we would go out and see movies, go out for dinner and so on and so forth. We did things that we both enjoyed most of the time and enjoyed each others company.
However since about 2 years ago when I joined the military things have been going downhill. We have been fighting a lot more and recently it seems to be about 1 in 2 conversations end up in an argument of some sort or we get mad at each other for slmething the other said. We always 'make up' but I feel like it gets a little bit worse every single time. When we spend time together we seem to get tired of each other after a few hours.
Those things we used to do rarely happen anymore as when we spend time together we tend to just sit around watch a TV show, maybe talk a bit, or have sex. We never seem to be able to agree on what to do, most of the time we can't even come up with anything to do.
Both of us recognize that there is a problem in our relationship but neither of us wants it to end at the same time. We have decided that In a few months if it doesn't get any better or if it gets worse we are going to end it.
The issue I'm having is that despite this I feel like we don't really connect anymore since we are both interested in such vastly different things.
I'm not sure if we should even bother waiting to see if it gets better or just end it. I don't want to give her a hope that things will work out and then just end it but I also don't want to break her heart.
I just need some advice on what to do here, as I can't figure out on my own what the right choice is. | Gf and I have been arguing and fighting a lot more. We dont really do anything together anymore. We both recognize that there is a problem but neither of us wants to end it. Any advice? |
t3_114hy4 | AskReddit | Looking for advice: My brother stole my passport and went to the bank and made some withdraws. Anyone else have experience with family theft? How did you handle it? [Throwaway] | I found out that my brother(25) stole my passport while I was at work and took it to the bank and withdrew $290 over the course of four days and three transactions. My passport photo looks enough like him to fool the bank so that is how he was able to get the money out. He also very poorly forged my signature. I have to go into another branch of the bank later this week to ID the surveillance photos even though he already admitted it. The bank won't do anything without my 'go ahead' since we are family.
Things of note; He has done shit like this before, he stole our other brothers checks and wrote one to himself for $100. He said he used $100 dollars of the money he stole from me to pay gambling debts but couldn't say where the rest of it went. There is a strong suspicion he is on hard drugs like pills, I have heard people say they saw him doing pills. The whole family firmly believes the thief brother has serious mental issues stemming from chemotherapy he underwent when he was 17. We have confronted him many times about our concerns about his health but he shuts us out and refuses to seek medical help. I fear for my own well-being in my own house because of his tendency to have violent episodes and him being unstable.
We both live at home along with our other brother (27), also I am 22. I am going to talk to the bank later this week to ID the photos and discuss what to do next. As of right now I am thinking of going ahead with legal action if it means he will be put in jail and be forced to undergo some kind of counseling. I plan on moving out to a hotel before I get the police involved for my own safety. | My brother stole money from my bank account, I am thinking of taking legal action |
t3_3eqjb7 | relationships | How do I[20F] shut down girls flirting with my boyfriend [20M]? | Trying for short and sweet but failed. Sorry. :P
I'm going to a party tomorrow with my boyfriend. I found out that girls who have always tried to flirt with him in the past will be attending. These girls have not seen him since he graduated high school 2 years ago so I am certain they may try to talk to him. If they try anything again what do I do if my boyfriend won't deal with it or believe his "friends" are still trying to flirt with him?
1.) Yes, I trust him. Very much so.
2.) We have been together for 7.5 years and these girls are very aware.
3.) My boyfriend is naive and has the flirting radar of a bucket. He refused confrontation before because he thought better of these "friends" than the reality we found out.
4.) I have no idea how to deal with this gracefully. Trying to avoid being toyed with and walked on.
5.) This post sounds really blunt and rude but I'm just trying to type this post on a phone as quickly as possible. Forgive any typos. lmao | How to deal with girls refusing to stop flirting with your SO? |
t3_1bcdh2 | dating_advice | Help with somewhat confusing female friend? [17m] | I have a female friend with whom I'm rather stricken. She's pretty, likes many of the things I do (music, videogames, etc.) and has a very similar (dirty) sense of humor. I asked her out once and she said no, but since then her texts have gotten increasingly sexual. As I type this we are in the middle of a conversation about pros and cons of cowgirl position (we are both virgins, so this is supposedly hypothetical), during which she randomly alerted me that if wants the guy in control when her v-card is taken.
As my confusion grew I finally asked her upfront if I would ever have a chance with her romantically, to which she replied "not anytime soon" because she, supposedly, doesn't want a relationship. Two weeks later she sent me a picture of herself in a bra in an attempt to prove that she has small breasts (not that I care, having a well-known preference for flat chests). She has also mused several times how she "wonders what sex is like" in the middle of a conversation about Skyrim cosplay.
So does this girl want a relationship and just wants me to make the first move, does she simply want sex without commitment (not something I'm overly opposed to, though I am more than ready for commitment myself), or is she just a perverted girl who doesn't realize how much hell her jests and jokes are playing with my emotions?
I, for the record, am an extremely emotional guy who has mood swings almost on par with many women during their 'time' that cause me to alternate between severe depression, severe anger, and being happy as a clam. I have a feeling I have inherited a "whiny-ness" from this that is giving her significant pause to the idea of a relationship.
She told me earlier today that she is "fine with guys touching her body" despite, to my knowledge, never having any clothes-off non-penetration experiences with a guy. It just boggles my mind that any girl would tell a guy these things if they didn't think he would need to know them later on.
Every female her age I've talked to about this has responded with "she wants the D" but I figured a few more opinions couldn't hurt. | I'm a softie and a girl has been unusually forward with me about sex and I don't know how to interpret it |
t3_3lr84o | relationship_advice | I (24/M) am falling for my "sister-in-law" (24/F) | I've been dating my girlfriend Michelle for 7 years now. I love her with all my heart. She really does mean the world to me, and I don't know what I'd do without her.
I'm torn. Michelle's brother, Jim, has a fiancé named Megan. All four of us have been close for so long. I've been talking with Megan for a little while now and feelings are starting to develop. Megan has been confiding in me certain issues with her engagement to Jim. It looks like she will be leaving Jim in the near future. My feelings for her are only going to get stronger. To make things worse, we are super compatible; there isn't much we don't share with each other.
She knows I'm attracted to her , I don't think I could ever act on these feelings but I feel the responsibility of being her outlet to rant is going to tempt me. I could ruin everything. Losing Megan and Jim as friends and family and more importantly Michelle as my girlfriend.
How do I handle this? Megan is intoxicating. Nothing has happened between us, yet I still feel enormous guilt while looking in Michelle's eyes. I'm breaking...help me please. | My feelings for my sister-in-law are growing as I've become her go-to guy for ranting about her failing engagement. I don't want to lose my girlfriend, but the temptation is really overwhelming. |
t3_2qwom9 | relationships | My [23F] GF broke up with me [22M] a week ago, she's not yet sure about what she wants. Don't know what to do. | Last week tuesday my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me. For me, this came totally out of the blue because apparently she wasn't very happy with our relationship for the past 6 months. The reasons she gave me were that there wasn't a lot of love like there used to be and that there were several annoyances she just couldn't handle anymore. She also told me she had to choose for herself and get herself back on track.
In the past 6 months she hadn't really been verbal about these issues so I didn't know anything was wrong, or maybe I just failed to notice. We never really had a fight in the 2 years we were together so it definitely came as a surprise. It should be noted though that she has been working about 70 hours a week for the past few weeks and she is busy with school next to it with a lot of stress as a result.
We have talked since and she told me that if I give her space, we can start dating again and 'start over' when she is ready. I'm all for this, because I'm having a hard time letting her go but I don't know if this will result in more pain for me.
I should also note that she is coming to my small new year's eve party tonight and I'm not sure if this is a very good idea (we have seen eachother since). | GF of 2 years broke up with me last week, wants to start over and do the dating thing again if I give her time. Is coming to my new year's eve party tonight. |
t3_ho4k7 | AskReddit | I need to buy presents for an 11 year old boy and an 8 year old boy. I have no idea what to buy, help me out reddit! | Tomorrow I'm going to visit my sister who lives in France.
She has two kids, two boys actually, one's 11 year old, the other 8.
They were born and raised in France, so I guess they could be referred to as "french kids".
We usually visit them once a year and we always bring presents. When they were still babies or infants, I found it easier to find a present they liked, but that's becoming harder and harder as they grow older.
So, parents (or children) of reddit: What do you think would be good presents for them?
Also: I'm on a €50 budget :-D | If you're in the same situation: **GET THEM A NERF** |
t3_2kwfhl | relationships | I [23 M] have a crush on a popular girl [19 F], what can I do to bridge the gap between us? | So there's this girl which caught my attention a year ago and since then we've been "friends" on facebook but never conversed with each other. She has a lot of followers and is pretty famous in my country, so I never really bothered that much.
Fast forward to today, I found out that she's looking for some company/chill talks (since I also found her on Tinder, we didn't match though) but I don't want to come off as a creepy guy. How can I approach her? We've only met twice in conventions, and I'm sure I'm a complete stranger to her.
I do not know how to transition from being a stranger to someone she'd hang out with, we don't have mutual friends as well. But I think I'd like to give it a try, to bridge the gap between us. What can I do to accomplish this? | There's a popular girl I'm interested in, we're complete strangers. what can I do to bridge the gap (and eventually date her?) between us? |
t3_t411c | self | I think I'm having trouble feeling sympathy/empathy.... | This has kind of concerned me for a while, I even joked with my friends that I psychotic tendencies.
Maybe I'm just being paranoid but I am curious to hear other people's thoughts and views on it.
In the AskReddit there are a lot of requests for horror stories from certain professions. I've noticed the grisly ones are from those in the medical profession and the top ones stick in my mind because of what I don't feel. While I know these stories are bad... I don't feel upset. Perhaps it's because I haven't been in the same experience as the person.
But then there are other times IRL where I know something is bad but I don't feel bad. I have a big example, where I did something wrong and only felt bad for myself at the end, even though I knew all along it was wrong.
I've realised that I'm actually a selfish person. Is anyone else like this or am I mental? | I know when I should feel bad, but I don't actually feel anything. That's not the same though is it? |
t3_3yp8e4 | relationships | I (29F) need opinions on my husband's (33M) internet activities! | :::Throwaway just in case:::
My husband and I have been married for 6 years and we have two kids together. We have been together for almost 13 years total.
He's always been a little shady with computers. I've caught him adding NUMEROUS random girls on Facebook. I'm talking 30 or so 20-year-olds. It started REALLY bothering me and I asked him to stop. He's deleted them off his Facebook and things would quiet down.
Two weeks ago he added a bunch again, and I flipped. He says he won't do it anymore and apologized. Same shit I hear every time. The argument ended with him swearing he will stop, and me threatening to leave if it happens again.
Well this morning I saw that FIVE girls accepted his friend requests on his face phone. They are all on the opposite side of the country and mutual friends of each other. I should add that this was also after he spent a night locked away in the basement on his computer.
He is claiming it's nothing but a coincidence. All the girls were from requests he sent two weeks ago and he hasn't added anyone new. I call bullshit. 5 girls all accept his requests within 36 hours who just happen to all be mutual friends. No fucking way.
Now, I don't think he's actually talking to these girls; he's just being a creeper and getting kicks off looking through their profiles. Which is by no means OK and why I told him if he doesn't stop I'm leaving. Im tired of being lied to. Should I believe this is all a coincidence? | Husband friend requests lots of younger girls on Facebook and I'm sick of it! |
t3_22xums | relationships | Me [21 M] broke up with my girlfriend [19 F] of 2.5 years 1 week ago, now doubting my decision. | I broke up with my girlfriend a week ago now, and I'm not certain if I made the right decision. I wasn't totally sure that I was making the right decision when I did break up with her, but I didn't cry when I was doing it, I got sad when she left though.
I've had ups and downs since and I miss her and think about her quite a bit. I'm also really horny because I started doing /r/nofap a month ago and don't know if that's a factor. However, I have been flirting with another woman (20 F) quite a bit and she wants to stay single and have fun but at this time I don't know if anything is going to happen there.
For some reason I've been in serious relationships since I was 14 and I'm actually kind of terrified of being single. I'm looking for advice on how to deal with this and if I should consider reconciling with her and giving it another go. | Broke up with GF a week ago, doubting my thoughts about it at the time, need advice on what I'm feeling. |
t3_2t8utl | tifu | TIFU by assuming a Korean man was Japanese. | Not as bad as most things I've seen on this sub, this is actually very tame, but I was embarrassed as hell.
So I've been living in Japan for about a year now and have picked up a little bit of Japanese, which I like to use while I'm out if I can. My wife and I went to this place called Enoshima Island which has a lot of beautiful things to see, including a lighthouse. We were on top of said lighthouse and saw a man walking by so I asked him (in Japanese) "Could you take a picture of us please?" He looks me straight in the eye and says, in perfect English, "Bro, I'm Korean. So this proves that white people think all Asians look alike, huh?" He laughed it off and took the pic. I was still embarrassed as all hell though. My wife won't stop giving me shit. | Asked Asian man to take photo in Japanese. Korean man was not impressed. |
t3_4ghqzu | legaladvice | OR- Can a Statutory Rape charge be dropped after the victim turns 18? | I have a buddy who is dating a girl. This girl was accused and charged with Statutory Rape 3 and sodomy. Class C. (yeah....don't get me started on his choice of women) Apparently, it was "consensual" and they were friends, the mom found out about said rape, between his GF (who was 20 at the time) and the moms daughter (who was 14 at the time)
Anyways, I had concern about my daughter playing at his house if she was there, since she is a registered sex offender. I realize she wasn't a danger to my daughter, but still, a nosy neighbor sees my daughter playing at the house of a sex offender (who has an offense against a minor female) calls the authorities, and now I'm underninvestigation for endangering my child.
His GF (and her "victim") claim, that when she turns 18 (in 2 years) She's going to go down and drop the charges. Clearing his GF of all legal ties, stops probatoon and no longer has to report as a sex offender, because it won't be on her record.
This sounds rather fishy to me. And I'm thinking that's not entirely true. Am I wrong? | What are the Oregon State (Yamhill County) laws, concerning a victim, turning 18, and dropping the charges of their offender? |
t3_hsy1k | AskReddit | Hey AskReddit, I'm in some housing trouble can anybody help? | Basically I've been living in a co-op house in the united kingdom for almost a year, unfortunatly we've come into some trouble with out local council. The problem is they believe our building is to old and disrepaired to be suitable for me and my 6 other co-tennents to live in. We've proven to them we can and will maintin and repair the building but they've sent us a notive to quit which runs out today and will be taking us to court in the next (6ish) weeks. The building we're in is 100+ years old, survived a blitz in WW2 and has a colourful background as a penny surgery owned by a Dr.Love (shit you not). But anyway what I wish to ask is: Should we keep fighting for our beloved house, does anyone have any information or related stories and any ideas to save our house? I'd be glad to share more if I think of it/anyone asks | 100+ year old house and 30 years running co-op being repossesed... HELP! |
t3_24l1yx | relationships | Me [28 M] with my Girlfriend [27F] duration, broke up, but now we're getting along great, should I still move out? | We met last July. We were a vacation-ship for two months. She got a job in Houston, I moved to Houston to try and make something work.
We got along horribly. Petty fights happened constantly, and we never fought before that. I was bored, unhappy, etc
Four months goes by and we're not happy, not getting along very well. I pretty much break up with her, she begs me to stay. I stay.
We have another fight, I go through her phone (I know, I know) and I find some inappropriate texting between her and her boss. I confront her, she tells me she was confused and that nothing physical happened (I believe her)
I told her I was moving out, she begged me to stay another week, I said ok. NOW, she's being SUPER nice and loving. We're not fighting at all, she's very passionate in bed, she cooks, there's no petty fighting. I tell her I'm still leaving because A) I don't trust her very much and B) If we could have been getting along this great the whole time, but we weren't, it was because she was holding back. Once I stay, she'll probably go back to normal and start being unbearable again. | Been fighting for 4 months. We're getting along GREAT right now (about 7 days) since the moment I busted her for lying. Am I being stubborn? Or should I give it more time? |
t3_pzxsl | relationships | My boyfriend almost called me by his ex's name - how do I respond? | I made another post but this sheds light on a different point. This weekend in the car my boyfriend almost called me by his ex's name, but cut himself off and pretended like he just didn't say anything. I didn't respond at all.
This past December he secretly went to dinner with her during a layover and admitted (to me) he still had feelings for her, and was "confused". Yet claimed that after the dinner he knew he wanted me. She lives on the other side of the country. We've talked about this very civilly and plenty of times, and even took a week long break from each other for him to figure out what he wants. He came back claiming love for me, etc.
But then he almost calls me by his ex's name, and also stops telling me he loves me...what to think? Do I tell him I heard him almost say this and that I notice his behavior, or will that just spark him to say disingenuous "i love you"'s that I won't know are real?
Damned if I do, damned if I don't | boyfriend almost called me by his ex's name and has stopped saying he loves me, not sure what to do now |
t3_3szpkv | relationships | I [31M] am dating someone [28F] who tells me that I talk to much about myself. When I stop and ask her questions, she has short responses and then there is silence. | I [31M] started dating someone [28F] who tells me that I talk to much about myself. I do know that people consider me to be quite garrulous, so she's not wrong. She asks that I include her in the conversation.
When I stop and try to ask her questions so I can learn more about her, she replies with short responses, straight and to the point. Afterwards, I find myself desperately thinking of what else to ask her because I can't say any sentence with the words "I", "me", "my", etc. in it or she tells me I am doing it again. To give an example:
"What's your favorite food?"
***Response***
"I have a decent recipe for that. I would like to make it for you."
"You're talking about yourself again."
Thing is, earlier, she spent 90% of our conversation time talking about her, and that was ok. I kept my responses short and sweet and primarily about what she was talking about. Things were fine.
Later today, we talk and she's not saying hardly anything. I ask her a question and the conversation goes like this:
"If you could live anywhere in the US, where would you want to live?"
***Cue three to five minute long explanation about possibilities***
"I mostly agree. I have thought about these areas..."
(After 20 seconds) "You're talking too much about yourself and not including me in the conversation."
... despite the fact that I had just asked her and listened to her talk about it for five minutes.
I don't know what to do. I like this woman and I love listening to her talk about anything and everything, but when she isn't talking, she isn't giving me anything to work with and she refuses to let me talk about anything in length to give her a subject to weigh-in on. When I do, she typically has nothing to say about it. | Date tells me I talk too much about myself. When I ask her something, she has a short response followed by silence. |
t3_14t3mi | relationships | My first son will be born tomorrow, and my wife won't let me watch The Hobbit. What should I do? Both [29] | My first son is coming tomorrow. Visiting hours at the hospital are only until 8pm, and I won't sleep there with my wife, because she wants her mother to stay over.
Considering that I WILL COME HOME TO STAY ALONE DOING NOTHING, I wanted to watch the premiere of The Hobbit (huge Tolkien fan here), but my wife don't want me to go without her. It's not because "I'll be enjoying a movie while she will be in a hospital bed", but only because it will be without her.
But if I don't go tomorrow, I will have to wait until it comes out in blu-ray.
What should I do? I know I have to be suportive to her, but this is something that she always do. If it's up to her, I barely leave my house alone. | My wife don't want me go to the movies watch The Hobbit because our son will be born tomorrow, and she doesn't care that I won't stay at the hospital with her anyway (she doesn't want me to), but go home do nothing. |
t3_39v3rt | tifu | TIFU by rubbing one out at work | So it was a slow day at work today and the girl I work with has an amazing ass, and she was wearing a tight, short skirt. This made me so horny, so I decided I'd go rub one out in the bathroom. There is a window in the bathroom but it's way up near the ceiling. Anyways, I get in the bathroom and start to wank it. Little did I know, my other coworker, decided she'd water the plants that are on a column near the bathroom. So there I am, wanking away when I look up at the window and I see my coworker looking in! I made eye contact with her while jerking off! Jesus fucking christ! Needless to say, the rest of the shift was awkward, but I don't feel like she can say anything, because she shouldn't have looked inside to begin with! | Made eye contact with coworker while wanking. |
t3_42xkxz | relationships | I'm [57 F] in a new relationship [31 M] for 2 months. everything is perfect. Could this actually work? | After 28 years of marriage, I am getting a divorce.
I had been trying my luck at dating, had created profiles on numerous dating websites.
I created a profile on a fetish website, realistically it was probably because I was horny, not because I was looking someone there to date.
But my boyfriend contacted me there, we shared some of the same fetish ideas, but from talking, and learning about each other, the conversations quickly changed to conversations about more than just the fetishes that we shared, but into deeper conversations, deeper curiosity about each other.
I am getting a divorce, my husband is 2 older than me, my boyfriend is also going through a divorce, his wife is a 2 years younger than him.
Both of our relationships ended due to sexual incompatibilities.
I am 26 years older than him, and nothing about our relationship has made me feel as the age difference is a problem at all, on the contrary, his family loves me and tells me he is happier with me than he ever was with his wife.
The only thing is that maybe I am a little paranoid that someone is going to think I'm too old for him, and maybe even said that, but I have no reason to feel that way when its never happened.
Maybe things have changed, before I was married, I don't think I ever heard of an older women dating a younger man, and if I did, it was just a few years difference.
If I could just erase that insecurity from my head, I really do feel that at the moment, thats the only place that insecurity exists.
He was the first to say I Love You, and he didn't just say it, he made me feel that he loved me. I do love him, and he knows it.
He has even made comments about marriage, even after a short relationship. Not going to jump into another marriage that quick, but him talking about it makes me happy. | 57F Dating 31M. Feeling insecure for no reason about the 26 year age difference. |
t3_1v5q3r | relationships | Me [22F] with my boyfriend [22M] of 3 years, we broke up a month ago and I am going crazy (without the sex) | So long story short me and my boyfriend broke up about a month ago. He wasn't putting any effort into the relationship and neither of us were happy anymore. Surprisingly though even though we weren't working out our sex life was amazing as ever. At least it was to me. We have always had a very active sex life throughout our entire relationship. We were very sexually compatible together.
Basically I feel like I am going crazy without the sex. I'm not sure if maybe I am just masking my hurt and sadness with the urge to have sex or something but this feeling really sucks. I went 3 years of very consistent sex and now I don't have it anymore. I feel like I might never be as comfortable as I was with him with anyone else too. This whole thing is driving me crazy! | no more sex life is making me crazy |
t3_2047r0 | relationships | I [19 F] have a 22 [M] boyfriend for 4 years who has claimed he has never watched porn during our entire relationship. I don't believe it. Is this even possible? | My boyfriend used to very much be into porn growing up, especially in his late teens. He would watch it allllll day. He was also not very "nice" to women and seemed to have a one-track mind if you know what I mean. But with me, he has always been very nice and respectful. We're good at solving problems and he values my opinion. We are two peas in a pod in terms of personality, ways of thinking, and interacting with each other.
So anyway, he claims to not watch porn, and I'm not sure if I believe it. It's not that he's ever given me a reason to think he's a real liar, of course there were a couple little white lies but that's honestly it. This, combined with his history, what the internet has told me, and the fact that we are also long-distance... I don't know. I'm thinking that in-between visits maybe he watches it. It's just shoved down my throat in the media, reddit, etc that guys watch porn and lie about it. Sometimes we like to talk to each other about when we have self-sexy time (which he does a lot, which is another thing) and what we thought about, and he always has something prepared to say. He says that he thinks about when we do it in person and always remembers detailed events. But that could just be him preparing in advance for when I ask... I don't know.
So why is this an issue? It's not really. Porn isn't an issue to me. But I'm worried for the fact that he might be lying to me or that I'm not providing enough for him. Every couple months I'll bring it up and tell him that I'm fine with porn and he can watch it if he wants to, I'd just like to know. Regardless, he always says he doesn't. | I don't believe my boyfriend when he says he doesn't watch porn. I've read too many things to believe otherwise. I'm just concerned that he may be lying to me. What can I do? |
t3_2j56a5 | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 8 months, we're in a very hard long-distance relationship, it isn't making me happy and I need advice on the kindest way to end it. | Me and my girlfriend have been together 8 months. 6 Months of it were together, but now she is in China for work (she's Chinese) and I'm in LA for school.
We're both more or less permanently placed: I might get an internship in Beijing this Summer, but after that it would be at least another year apart (I've just started a 2 year program).
And the fact is, I'm just unhappy. I haven't met someone else (in fact it's quite lonely here in LA), but recently I just don't feel that I can continue a ~2 year long LDR with only limited prospects for ever seeing each other.
I've decided that before long I'd like to end it, but I've never been in an LDR before and I could use some advice. What is the kindest way to go about this? Also, she has a very busy work life, and If I'm going to upset her I don't want it to be at an "inconvenient" time when she has a lot on her plate. Unfortunately, she ALWAYS has a lot on her plate, so there might not be much I can do.
Please help me be as kind to her as possible, she did nothing wrong (and to be honest I don't think I did either) but the circumstances are just too much for me.
Thanks! | Please help me to end my LDR in the kindest way possible. |
t3_uutf5 | AskReddit | Reddit I have a real life OA(ex)G. What do I do!? | A little over a year ago I walked in on one of my (now ex) girl friend's coworkers balls deep in he on my bed. A few days after the break up she decided to tell me that she had been cheating on me for quite some time. Since then she has been harassing me trying to reunite our relationship. Mind you I am now married to the love of my life and we have a daughter on the way (yeah, I know... it was a little quick). I blocked my ex's number to get he to stop contacting me, hoping that she'd get the message, but this morning I woke up to a text from her. | My ex is still trying to get back with me after I left her cheating ass and am now married with a kid on the way. What's the best way to get the point across to her? |
t3_3cw88a | tifu | TIFU by putting a condom in my wallet | So unlike most fuckups this one did just happen I just got home and cant figure out whether to laugh or cry at myself. So I took this girl out to the beach tonight and we had hung out the night before and it had gone fairly well from my point of view. So we are walking along the beach boardwalk everything is going fine I think im doing really well for myself cause im such a rookie in these scenarios. Then we need to figure out what time to be back at the car cause I paid for parking. So I reach in my pocket to pull out my wallet with the ticket in it and fuck. There it was my lone condom sitting on the ground right between us. I dont know what to say as I haven't really had any experience and I thought well lets just be safe lets throw my only condom in my wallet for tonight. We proceeded to turn around walk back to the car and I drove her home. A very awkward 40 min trip back where not much was said and I knew I fucked up but then I couldn't help but laugh at my shit luck. | Condom fell out of pocket, didn't get laid |
t3_36a5u9 | relationships | It's been two years since I (25F) broke up with my ex (29M) and I can't move on. | My issue isn't that I'm not finding anyone, because I've had good dates with nice people. I just can't seem to get over my ex and stop comparing everyone to him.
A little backstory: We met about 5 years ago and I moved in with him at around a year mark. We dated for two more years but I never was very sexually attracted to him. I was taking an antidepressant at the time and I know that affected my libido, but sex seemed like a chore. We broke up a few months after I tapered off the medication. That was the number one reason I broke up with him. I don't find him very physically attractive still, but I miss the connection we had. In all other facets of our relationship, we meshed perfectly. He is really an incredible person - so compassionate, spontaneous, funny, intelligent, unique.
One thing I'm kind of stuck on is how happy he is now with his new girlfriend (who is really lovely, physically and personality!) and it makes me remember how selfish I was with him. I wish I had tried harder to be a better girlfriend and it's kind of a stab in the gut to see them with our mutual friends and I just think they know how much better she is for him. It's this weird jealousy I've never felt.
Anyway, I'm just worried that I won't find anyone that measures up to his high standards and that I fucked it all up. Two years seems long enough to get over someone and I'm not sure why it's not happening. | I broke up with my ex two years ago and I'm still not over him. Constantly comparing people I date to him and now I'm worried that I won't find anyone comparable and messed up the best thing I could have. |
t3_4gdx0j | tifu | TIFU: By cleaning my blender... | Filled my Blendtec (from "Will it Blend") full with water to clean it out. I put a little extra in so that it would splash and clean the lid too. I hit high, and had my hand on lid usual. It starts going to town and I start moving my hand away. Similar to Old Faithfull, water shot skyward and it began to rain in the kitchen. I thought the blender auto shut off, because it's pretty smart like that, but after mopping the kitchen, wiping down the cabinets, and changing socks, I couldn't get the blender to turn back on.
Looked around, and the GFCI breaker had tripped. Either the Blendtec drew a little too much current, or I was about to. | I think the GFCI outlet in my kitchen just prevented a mess from becoming an emergency. |
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