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t3_231eo9 | relationships | Me [24F] with my boyfriend [25M] together a year, I need an outside perspective to all of this | So a little bit of back story. My SO and I have known each other since we were young teenagers. We've always had a thing for each other but never dated; however, we have been very close friends ever since we met. A couple of years ago I was dating another guy and we had a little boy together. Bio dad didn't want anything to do with us, which was fine by me. I went off on my own and did really well being a single mother.
Throughout my pregnancy my SO was very supportive and the old flame we had started to rekindle. He would say things like I wish it was ours. Fast forward 5 months and we finally decided to slowly start dating. Everything was going really well, and he loved playing the dad role. I always insisted that he didn't need to do that unless he truly wanted to. Fast forward another 5 months he wanted us to move in together, but we both wanted to move out of state. So we ended up moving back to where he's from.
Things were still just as wonderful after we moved up until 4 months ago when he started his new job. He is always angry and moody now. He doesn't interact with my son at all unless he is yelling at him for my son just being a baby. My son is scared of him and my son cries if he tries to get close. My SO has left some bruises on my son when just doing basic things with him like teeth brushing, nail clipping, diaper changing, etc. I have had very serious talks with him about this and he apologizes but doesn't see the big deal of it. He's not hitting my son but grabs or holds my son so hard SO leaves the bruises. I no longer leave my son alone with SO and don't let my SO near my son without being present. I don't know what to do! Do I leave and not look back like I'm thinking about doing or do I stay and try to make things work?? Am I overreacting to this or am I right to not let him near my kid?? Please help reddit!! | My SO wanted to be a father to my son who isn't his, but is now leaving minor bruises and yelling at my son. Do I leave or do I stay and try to make it work?? |
t3_48yehf | relationships | Me (21/F) with my BF (31)- We cant walk the dogs peacefully bc hes too focused on dominating them | This isn't a major issue or anything, but it bothers me a little.. I really love going on walks, especially with the dogs. Its been nicer weather here so we've been doing it more often. But when we walk the dogs, we cant just walk peacefully and enjoy the scenery & talk because he's too focused on correcting the dogs and not letting them 'lead'. He believes that "we should be leading them and they should just causally walk by our side. Don't let them walk ahead/don't let them lead". He says its essential for their training but I feel like he's taking this too seriously. We have two dogs so I walk one and he walks the other. The dogs are good but you can see them trying to get ahead of eachother like its a race to the front (if that makes sense lol). He's always asking me to pull hard on the leash, sometimes making them cough which worries me that I'm hurting them. He's also watches to see if I correct them and he will get mad at me for not 'doing it right'. wtf!?
How do i deal with this? It sometimes makes our walks unenjoyable and I understand it trains them, but can't we just walk them like normal people? Its getting really annoying...I've told him its not a big deal but he says its really important and that we have to do it. He will get frustrated with me about it too. | Boyfriend takes walking the dogs too seriously and constantly watching me to see if I correct them & tug on their leash. It's making the walks unenjoyable and I know its silly... but What should I do? |
t3_1o6rl8 | Parenting | Santa Claus: Man or Myth? | (Haha, yes I'm posting in the right sub. Sorry for the cheesy title, all the rest I came up with were really long run on sentences.)
Very recently someone posted a thread asking about some of the ridiculous things you've been judged for as a parent. I did see several posts about Santa Claus. People wrote being considered "bad parents" because they either "ruined the magic" for their children by being upfront about the fact that Santa doesn't exist, or showing their kids "it's okay to lie" because they believe in Santa.
Enough people wrote about it that it kind of stuck with me. First off, I think it's absurd that anyone would judge a person's parenting skills on how they handle the Santa issue! I mean seriously, why is it such a big deal to them whether or not the parent chooses to let their kids believe in Santa or tell them the truth?
Secondly, everyone seemed to have very different reasons for why they chose the decision they chose, and I thought that was pretty interesting.
So my question is, for those who celebrate Christmas, does your household believe in Santa, or did you tell your kids from the start that he wasn't real? What was your reason? Do you ever regret it and if so, why? | Right from the start did you tell your child(ren) there's no such thing as Santa or do you let your kids think Santa is real? |
t3_1xs4zr | relationships | I [23f] don't know how to react to what my bf [28m] has done... | So, I've been dating this guy for 7 months, my time and feelings are totally involved hardcore. We get along great, always have a blast together, and are laughing constantly.
I JUST found something that really upset me and don't know how to react to it. I was searching shows on Netflix while he was brushing his teeth. I was closing open tabs because of lag, I accidentally stumble upon his email.. No big deal, going to close out when a "m4f" catches my eye.... Apparently, he has been on craigslist looking for I don't even know... I'm not sure what to do. I didn't read anything further because it freaked me out and I'm not the type to just rummage through other peoples shit, which now that's exactly how it feels, I honestly feel guilty for seeing it, like I invaded his privacy almost... But at the same time I'm thinking Should I look through it? Should I be freaking out? I do not know how to even deal with the situation... let alone, approach him about it. Help? | Bf of 7 month is on craigslist for m4f and I don't know what to do. |
t3_2w6yko | relationships | Me [26 M] with my [27F] girlfriend of one year, needing advice on how to break up | I have been with my girlfriend for one year. We had a very romantic beginning and have gone from long distance to living together in that time. We have lived together for 6 months and we are amazing together.
We are both very much in love and tell each other so on a daily basis. We argue over small things occasionally and it has finally dawned on me why...
She is an extremely committed christian. I was luke warm about it at best when we got together. Now after attending church with her and studying the bible with her i am more certain than ever in my life that i have no belief in any of it and i have no desire to live my life with any religious focus.
I have come to the conclusion that despite still being in love with her i need to come clean and break it off. She is already talking about marriage and kids and i know that my thoughts are totally incompatible with her view of the future. Its now or never and i have decided its the right thing..
My question to reddit is how do i do it? She is going home in 2 weeks and we are going long distance again (by necessity) for a short time. The problem is that since i have come to this realization i want to tell her and get it over with as soon as possible :( Do i tell her all this now, do i let her enjoy our 2 weeks and do it right before she leaves? Or do i do it over the phone or skype once she is gone?
I dont want it to seem like i am just taking the easiest route for me, i want the path which will result in absolute minimum heartbreak for this girl. I truly love her and this whole thing completely sucks. :(
Thanks for any replies. | I have decided to break up with my girlfriend. Do i do it now or in 2 weeks when she is leaving for a while? |
t3_3zjabr | relationships | I [20 M] am struggling to accept what my girlfriend [19 F] has done in previous relationships. | So my girlfriend, who I will call Beth, and I have just recently started dating which I am really happy about. I have liked her for months, so when we started dating I couldn't be happier! We are open with each other and have already had sex. I just want to point out I am really happy with her.
My problem is with what she has done with her ex's. To be honest, it is nothing too crazy, and I had asked her about it so this is my fault. She told me what she has done and it is bothering me. She did not even know me when she did this stuff, but I think I have a mixture of jealousy from just thinking about her with other guys and wanting to do some of the stuff she has done. She has already said she wants to do that stuff with me and she is open to doing more with me so I really shouldn't be upset. I would just appreciate any input from someone who has been in my situation. I want to state that I am not mad at her at all. If I am mad at anyone, it is at myself. I feel childish having these feelings, but I cannot figure out how to just let it go. | Asked my girlfriend if she has done some 50 shades of grey stuff/bothered by it/want to get over it |
t3_32ehm0 | Advice | What should I do? | I work at a nightclub in a very densely populated area. I really don't want to get specific because this just happened.
It was a really busy night and it went smoothly most of the night, bust some of the last group of girls in there were unhappy about everything.
I guess I didn't get to them fast enough, I don't know, but they were very displeased with me and kind of giving everyone else that vibe too. It was like 2:30 which isn't too bad too be closing up. It's not like they were overstaying there welcome.
I thought I was polite to them, but I guess not, they complained to the manager about it and even left comments on the website.
Should I email them and tell them i'm sorry? I'm really paranoid about it and im not sure whats going to happen. I am in a tough spot in my life and I can not lose my job, like horrible things will happen to me. I'd be willing to pay all of their tabs next time to keep this job.
The irony is I really thought some of them were beautiful, I can't believe they would think I would not be pleasant towards them. I was really busy closing everyone out, so I wasn't exactly super smiling, that just looks weird when you're busy.
I really don't know what to do. | fu by not smiling at someone |
t3_2l7ofn | relationships | My (25F) boyfriend (24M) and I are in very different places financially, not sure if this a problem or not. | The situation: I am not in poverty and my boyfriend is not uber-wealthy, but there is a very significant disparity in our financial situations. I have just begun making enough to save, I have 5-figure student debt and will probably take on more in the next few years for grad school. He has no debt and has a sizable savings account.
We have been dating about 2 years and although I have been enjoying our relationship thus far, I am concerned that the discrepancy between our finances will become a problem in the future, when he starts to do things like buy a house and invest, and I'll still have several years left on my loans.
My question is whether this is an actual issue that I need to bring up now, or if it is something that can reasonably be left to be addressed as it becomes relevant. Thanks for any advice. | Boyfriend is better off financially for now and I am not sure if this is cause for concern in the future or if I am worrying too much. |
t3_48w5fa | legaladvice | Harassment from former employer for "stealing" a product idea and selling it to other stores, Is John doing anything wrong legally or morally? | The owner of Company A is on vacation in California and sees a product (packaged soda) he wishes to sell at his store in Colorado. Company A hires company B (owned by an employee (John) of company A) to create technology which allows Company A to efficiently fill soda packaging so they can sell packaged soda in their Colorado store.
Company A signs a form which assigns all intellectual property of the soda package filling technology to John, he later quits working for company A to sell the soda package filling technology and soda packaging to other stores.
Is John acting in an unreasonable way by selling the soda package filling technology and the soda packaging to other stores? | Is John doing anything morally or legally wrong by selling soda packaging and soda package filling technology to other stores? |
t3_1n09kk | loseit | Mental Battles!!! | So a few years ago I decided I wasn't happy with my life and decided to lose it. As of now I'm 30 lbs down from when I started, but what irks me is that I was 40 lbs down but regained the 10.
I got to 160 (40 down) last march, and I posted pics to bb's website asking for a bf estimate which was agreed to be 12%. I must have slight body days morphia because I thought I was like 18% and I let it get to me and I thought "hey this is awesome now I can relax my diet and eat maintenance"
Long story short I'm up 10 lbs or more since because I have no mental strength or moderation. This wasn't a 10 lb nice bulk for strength but an up and down low cal binge fest. I've always had binging problems but it used to be like 1k cals over maintenance 1 time every week or two, but during this increase it's become 3000 cals over maintenance more than once a week. I understand it's all mental but I just really suck at keeping strong. | I used to be at my goal weight and didn't know how good I looked, have binged back to a 10lb or more fat increase since March and can't seem to win mental battles stopping me from getting back to 160 lbs |
t3_2v05lc | relationships | My coworker (27m) who I've been dating for a month secretly is happier chatting to our boss than me (25f). Why? | My new boyfriend is a coworker. We've had a fun affair since summer flirting and laughing. Now, I just can't see the same flirty side to him. It's been one month of dating. Has he lost interest?
I'm finding that he and our boss seem to laugh a lot about the same things. He asks her for advise on stuff like which courses he should sign up for, what clothes to buy...etc. He never asks me for advise.
All we do is watch movies at his place and have sex. I use to be SO excited to see him, but lately (because he's giving off a distance vibe) I've been pulling away emotionally.
He's never had a girlfriend before, but has had lots of sexual experience. He's stated he's a bit sad because all his actor friends (which are all beautiful men who know they're beautiful) keep going out to pick up chicks, and he can't now.
What do I do? How can I talk to him? I can't make a person like me if he just doesn't.. | My coworker boyfriend asks our boss more personal stuff than me, his girlfriend. Feeling hurt and unvalued. |
t3_3qm7xi | relationships | My [33F] boyfriend [41M] regifted me a necklace he previously gave to an ex | For mother's day this year, my boyfriend presented me with this beautiful jadeite necklace that he said he got when he was in another country years ago. I really love the necklace, it's original and beautiful.
While going through facebook photos, I ran across a picture of him and his ex and she's wearing the same necklace. I don't know or have any bad blood with his ex-girlfriends so I'm not really concerned in that area but I find the idea overall cheesy and I'm kind of irritated by it. Am I overreacting? Should I bother asking him about it or should I just let it go? | Am I overreacting by being irritated that a necklace I received for mother's day was originally an ex-girlfriend's present? |
t3_49m50m | legaladvice | Rear-ended by rental car, company now saying I am responsible (HI) | In February I was hit by tourists in a rental car. As far as everyone involved in the accident could tell, it was the fault of a young stoned teenager who hit the first car which caused the chain reaction of three other cars rear-ending each other before finally hitting me. I was the last to get hit in the domino effect and I didn't hit the car in front of me. I was the one who called the police and everyone received a copy of the "police report". It didn't list the circumstances of the incident just names/numbers/etc of the people involved. I called my insurance company immediately after and slowly the investigation has been coming along. However, today in the mail I received a letter from "Alamo rent a car" stating that "after careful review of the facts of this loss, our initial investigation has determined you may be negligent and therefore responsible for our damages. If you do not have insurance or wish to pay the claim yourself a bill will be sent to you ....". What gives? I didn't cause the accident and by some miracle the rental didn't have any damage from being hit, nor did it have any from hitting my car. My car was damaged by the rental car. I tried calling both alamo, as well as my insurance company but I'm in HST and so everything is closed. TIA. | rental car hit me after being rear-ended, rental car company now saying i'm responsible and will be sending a bill. |
t3_1drgz8 | relationships | I (19m) am marrying my (17f) fiancee, but scared her mom will report us. Help? | My Fiancee and I Plan On Getting Our Marriage Licenses In The Next Week Or So. She Being 17 (18 In January '14) and I being 19 have to have her moms written consent. We already have her consent form but she is very bipolar. We are scared that if we get our marriage licenses and she changes her mind and says that she didn't allow it, would we get in trouble? We have a copy and so does she but we are worried that she could say that she didn't sign it. We live in Wyoming. Thank you!
We want to get our marriage licenses this week because her uncle wants to send us on a vacation to Florida as our honeymoon during the summer. We've been together for little over a year now, known for longer tho. Her mom thought we were the cutest couple to exist until she started to get jealous, then she tries keeping us apart every chance she can. We've been engaged since December'12. | Young couple in love plan on getting married with consent form, worried her mom will deny the consent form. |
t3_1c9po6 | relationship_advice | I (20) am on vacation in Europe, my girlfriend (20) is back in the states, I am reasonably concerned about how she is acting. | First of all this is my first real post so please be gentle!
I have previously been on vacation in europe and was cheated on (previous relationship lasting over a year). So i understand that i may be more concerned than i should be, but this lurker would like some advice on my current situation.
This girlfriend went to a formal event just before we dated, knowing we both had feelings for one another and made out with her date before calling me to pick her drunk self up and i confronted her about it. We have since talked about this and the guy is voluntarily no longer in her life (I only asked her to tell him it was a mistake and she was not interested in him like that if she wanted to date.) She is showing obvious affecting when we are in contact, skyping and ect... something difficult with the lack of consistent wifi. But she also continues to drink, which is a problem since in the time that i've known her she actively seeks out approval when drinking (usually in the form of making out.
BUT on the other hand she does not have a history of cheating, and has waited for a year to be with me now, after asking me to the majority of her formal events, giving lame excuses for why, but pretty obvious to everyone but me. I also admitted by her treat her like a princess, she has yet to open a door since we started dating, flowers (which i've also had friend buy and place on her doorstep while i've been in France), chocolate, the works, and our mutual friends all love us together. Basically im asking if im way out of line here for worrying, and sincerely hoping i am. | Im in France and worried that my girlfriend might hook up with another guy while im gone because i was cheated on last time i was here in a more serious relationship, and just before we dated she hooked up with another guy seeking approval though we were interested in each other (she has since taken him out of her life and devoted SO much of her time to me) My girlfriend knows how badly this would hurt me and tells me how much she misses me. but i cant help being concerned. |
t3_qmlk7 | AskReddit | NSFW To those familiar with testicles I ask, should I be worried about the size of my balls? | My testicles are huge,they've been that way as long as I recall, should I be concerned?
Around the age of 20 women started pointing out this to me, which was a surprise. Then my guy friends got word of it and since (about 8 years) it has followed me like a curse to every friend group and party I encounter. I'm lighthearted enough about it that I will show people when they ask, first because it was funny, now out of a nagging curiosity. I'd say at least 50% of the parties I go to someone asks me to pull them out when everyone's drunk, and to this day everyone has told me they were the biggest they've seen. This has led me from thinking it's a funny topic to being mildly concerned. Also last year some bikepolo friends of mine were making fun of me and a doctor who was there [wtf dr. bikepolo] saw a pic of my balls on a cellphone and told them I should get them looked at. I don't what kind of doctor he was or anything, but it sure seems abnormal at this point. Since I am chronically young, unemployed and in hospital debt I have no means of going to ask a professional so I ask reddit. | My balls are huge, it used to be funny, now it's possibly concerning. |
t3_3gjspe | needadvice | Boss is blaming me for till being under. | So I'm having a problem where I've been working front of house at a pizza place for the last week. Let's call my boss Fran.
The till came under by $72 on my second day there and $11 up the following day. The float isn't counted before I start my shift, and I probably should have counted it myself but my boss told me not to worry about it. I'm taking the blame for it from Fran, even though I haven't stolen from her and I'm pretty sure I haven't made any mistakes.
I said to her that I write down every order and how much money changes hands and that I'm very careful with the money as I haven't handled money as a job for a long time. She said something along the lines of "numbers don't lie".
Not sure what to do to prove my innocence. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks :) | Italian boss is blaming me for stealing money when I didn't. |
t3_2b98fy | relationships | Me [24F] with FWB [26M] of a month, this doesn't seem typical, how do I keep it running smoothly? | Hi!
I was dumped a little more than a month ago. My heart is a mess and all I want right now is great sex and no feelings! It's been working out pretty well so far.
I met A about a month ago online. A is attractive, has kinks similar to mine, and is attracted to me but also deals with a lot of personal issues that make me reluctant to date him. Perfect for a FWB situation! I also date and sleep with other people on the side. I assume he does the same.
Due to said personal issues, A takes medication that makes it hard for him to actually get it up. So while our FWB situation started with sex and other ways of getting off, we're at the point where we don't have any kind of sexual interaction because it makes him feel inadequate and frustrated. We see each other multiple times a week to hang out, eat junk food, watch TV/movies. He cuddles with me and holds my hand. We spend the night at each other's place, hang out with his roommates, spend hours together. He kisses my forehead. We don't have any deep conversations and don't really talk outside of our hangouts, but he'll at times show insecurity regarding feeling inadequate.
We've had a discussion and made it clear we were not exclusive or dating, but I'm starting to wonder if this is a good idea at all. I told him I was confused about our set-up considering we were not having sex at all, and he got very hurt. I felt bad for hurting him, apologized, and we're back at our cuddles/hangout routine.
Is this an acceptable thing to keep going? I understand that the fact that I even wonder about this makes it likely I should put an end to it. | FWB and I don't actually have sex, spend most of our time hanging out and cuddling. Is this a bad idea? |
t3_2tuzwj | tifu | TIFU by exposing my children to NSFW_GIF | After a visit to r/NSFW_GIF, I left my laptop on the table in the front room. My kids were coming home from school, so I decided to go an buy them a treat from the local super-store. On the way out, I knocked a bottle or orange juice over, causing a spillage on the floor. (A sticky spillage)
Little did I know that this image was playing on my screen:
**(VERY NSFW)**
My children came in, saw the sticky mess and the laptop. I came in, my 11 year old has closed the window and is nowhere to be seen.
He mentions nothing at dinner; what have I done? | Didn't close tab, son was exposed |
t3_3yx1yk | relationships | Me [22 M] with my GF [25 F], not feeling safe or comfortable with myself and thus the relationship | My GF and I have been together almost a year now. I've always had anxiety and personal problems with loving myself and feeling comfortable with others loving me, and its starting to create a lot of conflict and trouble in the relationship.
I think the problem is I try to stop the anxiety once it kicks in, not stopping it at the source before it kicks in. I've been reading about it this morning and I think it comes from not having emotional integrity, or feeling comfortable with myself as who I am and thus not feeling comfortable with someone else loving who I am. It creates a feeling of co-dependence on her happiness and acceptance of me to feel safe and when I feel like that is slipping away, I get anxiety.
I start acting in ways that make me feel safe (constantly looking for assurances that she does indeed still love me) and this pushes her away from showing that as I think it makes her feel like she is being forced into showing it. This stops my personality from truly showing, which is what she loves, because I become so self consumed with worry and anxiety. So the question becomes, how do I find acceptance, safety, and love with myself and not look for that in relationships and being co-dependent?
I know if I keep this up I will no longer be able to give her the satisfaction in the relationship, and give her the feelings of trust and emotional safety she needs. I know its impossible to give these answers to someone in a short message over reddit, but has anyone else gone through this person struggle? How did you overcome it? What advice can you give me? | I don't feel comfortable with who I am and it is creating a co-dependance on my partners love and acceptance to feel happy. How can I take steps to accepting myself? |
t3_2xdp54 | legaladvice | [Probate Advice Needed] My mother's estranged husband passed away last Sunday. [United States] | I am posting today in hopes that somebody can point me in the right direction for how best to help my mother. Her husband passed away last Sunday and I am worried that due to her meek and easy-going personality that she will get taken advantage of by his family (specifically his two sisters) during the probate process. (This suspicion is NOT unfounded but it IS another story)
They have been married for ~~13~~ 19 years but estranged for the last ~~6~~ 8 years or so. He lived in the same house up to the day he died that they shared before they became estranged. She did sign a pre-nuptial but insofar as she understands the language was mostly to protect the house in the even that she divorced him (which never happened). They had a few joint checking and credit accounts that she never removed herself from but for which she did cut up the cards long ago.
I spoke with my dad (layman) and he basically said she needs to lawyer up with a probate attorney and that one could likely be found by contacting a legal aid office, but I have no idea what criteria would be used for her to select an attorney.
A bit of context: My mother is the most kind, honest and easy-going person in the world. She is so meek in fact that she very rarely (if ever) fights for what is hers and so that is why I am trying to help her... only to make sure that she doesn't get steam-rolled. Just looking for some honest advice here.
Thank much for taking the time to read this, it is greatly appreciated. | My mom's husband passed away and is one who will rarely if ever stick up for herself... I am trying to help protect her from her estranged husband's family's greed. |
t3_486rdu | relationships | Me [21 F] with my grandma [69 F]- my great-grandma died and I think my grandma tricked me into breaking the news to my mother [45 F]. | A few weeks ago, my 96 year old great-grandma had a stroke, and we were told she would not survive. Yesterday she passed, as expected.
My grandmother sent me a message saying "my mother died at [time] this morning. Your mother might need some TLC."
Thinking this meant she had told my mother (who was very close to my great-grandma) and she hadn't taken it well, I called my mom.
She asked how I was, I sadly said probably better than her. She asked what I meant, I said with everything going on- and she asked if I knew something she didn't. I then got worried and said "now I'm worried I do." Mom said last she heard, her grandmother was alive- I then had to inform her that her grandmother had passed away.
I feel horrible over this, because this is the worst possible way she could have found out, and if I had KNOWN she didn't know yet I would have found a far more delicate way to tell her. This has made my anxiety issues worse as well- I tried to go to the mall yesterday to distract myself but found the loud music at Hot Topic gave me a panic attack. So I'm not doing well either.
The question is, did my grandma do this on purpose to avoid being the bearer of bad news? When my great-grandpa died she had my uncle (by marriage) tell my mom instead of herself, so this isn't the first time it's happened- but I don't want to demonize her if it was just her not thinking due to the grief. Complicating things is that my cousin received the same email, and her mom didn't know either.
I feel very hurt, upset, and panicky right now and I don't know how to proceed. Any advice would be appreciated. | I may or may not have been tricked into being the "bearer of bad news" for my mom. |
t3_406eiz | relationships | Why am I [19M] so jealous of my girlfriend [19F]? | Hi guys, I'm currently in a long distance relationship, which became this way around 4 weeks ago. It's been 6 months since we started dating.
Anyway, around a week ago she started university half around the world from me, and has been telling me about all the friends she's been making, who her co-ed roommates are, how she's been going out often and stuff like that. My problem is that I've noticed I'm getting extremely jealous - to the point where I can safely say I'm being absolutely ridiculous, yet I just can't help but feel these emotions.
Like for example yesterday she said she went to grab some beers with her male room mate (who she just met) and his friends, and inside I was spewing with jealously and envy. Is this common? How can I stop being so fucking jealous? I hate it. I'm getting secretly mad at her constantly when she's doing absolutely nothing wrong. She really is the kindest girl and I know (hope) she would never cheat on me. Long distance fucking sucks. | Long distance relationship; GF just started uni and is making new friends. I'm becoming a jealous mo'fo. |
t3_1ml0z6 | relationships | Me[30F] with my BF [28M] of 4 months, texting his ex (mother of his child) about seeing her in 2 weeks and called her beautiful | I've been going out with my boyfriend for 4 months. Throughout our relationship he's made it clear that he has no intentions of being with his baby mama anymore. She lives in another state and rarely allows him to talk to his child anymore.
We were texting this morning about going grocery shopping and how I found a new grocery store. He asked if it was closer than the one we usually go to and I said yes. The next text I receive said "in 2weeks if that's okay with you, beautiful. i just wanna see you".
I immediately called him and asked what was up with that text because it made no sense to what we were talking about. We talked for one hour. Throughout the hour he said that his phone auto corrected the last sentence and that the first sentence was regarding grocery shopping. However, this made no sense to me at all, at least not the "i just wanna see you" part. I got to work and then I get the following text... "I'm not cheating on you that text I sent was for my baby mama. That's the only way I'm going to be able to see my child I'm sorry but that's the truth."
He says he didn't want to upset me or make me feel like he was doing anything behind my back. I just don't know what to think. He says he loves me and is just saying anything he can to see his kid. I brought up the fact that if he sweet talks her like this that she's going to expect it in person too and who knows what else she's expecting and also how disrespectful it is to me. I never would get in between of him and his child but at the same time I don't want to be made into a fool either.
This is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm so deep in love with him, more than I have ever been with anyone in my life. I just need your opinions. Please help me. | boyfriend sent me a text meant for his ex who is the mother of his child. he said he wanted to see her and also called her beautiful, but he explained to me he only said that so she can let him see his child. |
t3_ynapb | relationships | My categories just told me were on a break after I misunderstood her and left her waiting for me somewhere for an hour [17] [17] | I was invited by a friend of mine to come hang out with some of our other friends. We all play in a band together and I thought that it was meant to be that way. While I was driving, my girlfriend was responding to the invite on my phone and then told me that she was invited but I must have missed that part of the conversation. Resulting in me being on the other side of the city with them and my girlfriend by herself texting me asking where I was. I've done similar things before all resulting from my absent-mindedness. For example a few days ago we were at an Astronomy party and she said shed be right back when some guys called me over to look at their telescopes I kept checking back to see if she had come back but I didn't look hard enough and so I missed her and she sat there waiting for me for 45 minutes. These are not the only occasions where Ive left her alone. I know it must make her feel terrible and so first of my questions is how can I learn to pay more attention? And second this break doesn't work for me I can't take it I'm incapable of doing anything more than lying in bed I want to talk to her but I don't want to make things worse. We are 17 going into grade 12 I am male and she is female, we have been dating for 11 months I love her so much, i really think that we could spend our lives together but I need to change. Any advice? | because of my absent mindedness my girlfriend and I are on a break |
t3_322sk8 | relationships | Me [23/F] can not stop lying to my [23/M] boyfriend. How can I stop compulsively lying? | We've been together for close to 8 1/2 years and I've always had this issue with lying. I lie about little and big things. We've had issues in the past and I have always tried to better myself but always end up reverting back to the way things were before.
For example, I'll say I won't lie any more or I'll say I'll pick up my clothes but I'll do it for a few days but then I'll go right back to being lazy. I'm not sure what to do about myself.
My boyfriend says he no longer cares about the relationship and doesn't want to deal with the stress of both me and him. I recently lost my job, am not happy and did not have very much savings for us. I ended up getting a job as a server but has not been much money in my pocket or his. He is going through with stressing about money to keep us from going under, work is stressful and of course us.
We don't do much together any more. About a week ago while I was at work he said that he thought either we needed to change something or take a break because it was getting to be too much. He suggested a few things and I told him those were good ideas however I said we would need to talk about those things later on. I never brought it up again because it was pretty much out of sight out of mind.
Now, I'm not sure exactly where to go from here. I feel like every day I am just trying to get by and he said he feels like I'm just dragging him down with my negativity. I hope you guys can help. | I need help to stop lying and need help bettering my relationship with my boyfriend because I can't afford going to a therapist. |
t3_1w5noy | relationships | Me [16 M] with my unsure 15 F past few weeks, not sure if I'm friendzoned or not | Yeah I'm kind of getting mixed signals from her and I have known her for a year or so now.
How exactly does one tell if they are friendzoned?
I guess you could say I have a little crush on her.
We were hanging out at a friends house and we were wrestling in the snow and it kinda just felt right the whole time if that makes any sense.
Like not to sound creepy.
As stereotypical as this sounds she's been hurt in the past by guys and I really feel like I could make her happy.
I make her laugh all the time. | I'm starting to like a girl and I am unsure if the feelings are mutual |
t3_zkgvd | relationships | I'm 18F and currently flirting with a guy, 19M, who is in a long-distance relationship. Do I wait it out or walk away? | I was in my first serious relationship with a guy (18M) during my senior year of high school. We dated for around a year and a half, but since starting college, things fizzled out. We both wanted to try new things and recently had a clean, mutual break-up.
There's this other guy (19M) who I'm really interested in. We became friends initially because we were both in first-time-serious, long-distance relationships. The difference is, I'm out of mine, but he's still committed to his GF (think 2 hour Skype dates). Annoying thing is, he definitely indulges my crush on him. He buys me dinner, he randomly and frequently puts his arm around me or squeezes me, and constantly texts me things like "when can I see you again?" or "miss you already". Both his and my friends have noticed the flirting. His roommate jokingly refers to me as "the other girlfriend", which the guy apparently doesn't have a problem with. He talks a lot about how long-distance is hard for him, but he has never once suggested that he will break up with his GF anytime soon.
He seems like a very sweet, intelligent, funny guy, and I feel like I can tell him anything, but I also feel like he's stringing me along. I'd hate to walk away, but is it the rational thing to do? Or is it worth waiting to see what happens with him and his GF (we've only been in school for a few weeks, after all)?
Hope none of this comes off as manipulative - I have been cheated on before and would never want to ruin someone's relationship. I'm only interested in dating him if he is out of a relationship and comfortable with moving on. | Have a thing for this guy. We flirt constantly and everyone knows, but he's still dating his high school GF with no sign of a breakup. Should I hang around and see how things turn out or get out while I still can? |
t3_2r24o7 | tifu | TIFU by hitting a piñata | Yesterday was my 17th birthday and we also happened to be having a family reunion this week. Angry grandparents crying babies the whole nine yards. So after dinner my Mom announces that we have a piñata, and all the kids go nuts. We all go out to the garage to break apart this piñata like Abe Lincoln broke the bonds of slavery. It being my birthday I get the first hit. Armed with my cousins hockey stick, I stare down this innocent fuzzy green dinosaur stuffed with more candy than a fat kid on Halloween. I take a swing and with one mighty blow did what a gigantic meteor did to this Dino's extended family millions of years ago. Everything is good so far and all the kids including myself ravenously grab candy. We go inside for cake and this is where things go bad. This one kid, we can call him Tim, he is five years old and is really upset because of my God like strength piñata slaying ability he did not get to bludgeon the dinosaur. So now everyone is in the kitchen and he just starts screaming and wailing like a goddamn banshee. My Gramps starts yelling at Tim to shut the hell up, this only makes things worse. All the while my Mom is starting to light the candles on my cake. After about half the candles are lit my uncle starts yelling at my Gramps for yelling at his kid Tim. Saying that my Gramps is being a "fucking asshole" which escalated the argument to Pulp Fiction level vocabulary. So now Tim is still screaming bloody murder and my uncle and Gramps are filling the air with a obsentities. By now all the candles are lit and Happy Birthday has been set in motion by my Mom. She and everyone else in the room is singing Happy Birthday over the screaming children and yelling family. This created the most awkward rendition of Happy Birthday I have ever experienced. My Uncle and his family ended up leaving a day earlier. Cake was really good though so totally worth the family tension/awkwardness. | Wasted a piñata and created extremely awkward birthday memories |
t3_2lujyd | relationships | Me [21 M] developed feelings for [22 F] within social circle but not ready for a relationship | So there's this girl in my social circle, I've started to develop feelings for her, not sure if she has them back. These feelings are so strong that I've actually stopped approaching and meeting new different girls. It's been a couple months. We had history a few years ago if that makes a difference.
We do flirt and tease each other a lot. Even through text. (although I hate phone communication)
Anyway, there's this other guy in our social circle too that also flirts with her too.
Now, if I felt I would be ready for a relationship, there's no doubt I would've asked her out already. However, I still don't have my shit together in life. She's graduating this year and I just restarted my program so that's another 4 years in university. I don't have a job and I still don't know what I'm doing with my life.
I've asked friends in school for what I should do. They say to just let things happen naturally and don't force things yet until I feel I'm ready. But in my mind I think that just leads to me potentially losing her.
So I turn to you guys for advice. Also since there's a lot more of you.
What should I do? | feelings for girl in social circle. see each other 3+/week |
t3_1mvdkn | self | For my cakeday, I want to share a short story about meeting one of my best friends. Always remember, Reddit... Things are not always as they seem. | In 1999 I encountered a person who would turn out to become one of my best friends-
I was in my eighth grade English class when the principal walked in with an unfamiliar party. She introduced him as a foreign exchange student from China before promptly exiting the room, leaving him with the class. In an attempt to break the ice, my English teacher began talking to the new student, and asked a couple questions and proceeded to heavily enunciate every syllable of. every. word. one at a time and very slowly.
"Hell-O. wel-come. to. A-MER-I-CA. and. wel-come to. our. class-room."
All that this prompted from the new student was a confused look on his face- but the teacher continued.
"It is Win-ter right now in Mi-chi-gan - Does. it. SNOW. in. CHI-NA where. you. are. from.?"
The new student looked around the room, looked the teacher dead in her eye, and said something that I will never, ever forget.
"There is many coconuts tree."
He smiled, took an empty seat nearby, and quietly introduced himself to me in nearly-perfect English while giving me this mischievous grin that I would become very familiar with during my adolescence. | teacher assumes Chinese student can't speak English, Student trolls teacher we become best friends. |
t3_36ixkj | relationship_advice | I'm [26/f] worried my boyfriend [26/m] is falling back into smoking again. | I don't know if I am being unfair or unreasonable, but, that's why I am hoping someone may be able to give me some advice/insight on how to handle this situation.
My boyfriend smoked when we first started dating. I told myself I would never date a smoker, personal reasons, but yet I felt he was worth forgetting that rule for. He is. He is an amazing person. I won't ever deny that.
The problem is, we've been together a year and a half...and the last six months of our relationship he maybe had 1 cigarette. He quit. It was amazing. No more smoke breath, no more standing out in the cold or waiting for him to finish a cigarette. No more imagining what every breath he took while inhaling that cigarette was doing to his lungs... it's been great.
Unfortunately he's been slowly getting back into it...and at first he started hiding it from me. I put a hoodie on of his and in the pocket was a wrapper from a box of cigarettes. I confronted him about it and he claimed it wasn't his. He isn't normally one to lie, but I am not sure if that was the truth or not.
Then slowly but surely he eventually started smoking in front of me. This obviously bums me out, and when he smokes I end up getting really sad and give him the cold shoulder. I don't do it to be mean, or to punish him, I just can't help but feel disappointed and hurt... thinking about all the progress he's made. I understand it must be hard for him to not smoke when nearly all of his friends smoke...I'd say 95% of them do. I also recognize it is an addiction that many people never can fully quit.
He says it's wrong of me to ignore him or give him the cold shoulder just because I feel it's a bad choice for him. Idk...it may be. I just can't hide that it makes me sad and that I'm disappointed when I know he's smoking. I don't do it to be mean. I really don't.
Any advice/tips/thoughts would be greatly appreciated. | I am stressed out every time my boyfriend smokes. He quit for 6 months and just started up again. Not sure how to handle it. I can't help but give him the cold shoulder any time he lights up. |
t3_2t0yhm | relationships | My(22M) girlfriend(21F) left me after two years of dating out of the blue. | Howdy,
Just wanted to talk to someone I guess. As the title says, my girlfriend left me last November, after two years of dating. It happened suddenly and out of the blue. And I still can't wrap my head around it.
We've had a fairly happy relationship for the two years that were dating. Sure, we had arguments here and there, but overall it was good. I was happy and she seemed rather happy. In fact, her dad and I were talking about us marrying sometime down the road. I even got to celebrate her sister's wedding with her, we caught the garter and the flowers that night.
Alas, two weeks after her sister's wedding she went on a camping trip with some of her college friends. When she came back, she became somewhat distant and hard to reach. Her mom and her were fighting again and she was going through finals, so I attributed it to that. But then, two weeks after she told me that was leaving me.
She told me that it wasn't my fault and that I'd done nothing wrong. She told me that she has become complacent with me. That she had priorities that she needed to focus on like working out and losing weight, getting a job and finishing college. Finding out what she wanted to do with her life. And that she needed space for all of that.
And so she left.That was it. The short few times we came in contact to get some of my stuff back was like pulling teeth. She essentially hid from me or would bail on me. It all ended up with my stuff getting to me through someone else.
What did I do wrong? Why does it still upset me? And why is it so hard for me to go out on dates with other women(my friends thought that meeting other women would cheer me up, but alas it did not). | After dating for two years, my girlfriend left me out of the blue. I did not see it coming and it has racked my confidence thoroughly. Any advice? |
t3_wtieo | relationship_advice | How to cope with waiting? | Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. I'll try to keep this short.
I've been seeing my girlfriend for about 2 years. Most of that time we've gotten along famously, but in the last few months there has been more fighting between us. We don't have "real problems" like financial struggles or cheating or something along those lines. We just kinda suck at communicating and recently started seeing a counselor to improve on that.
Our fighting has somewhat stabilized. We still have disagreements frequently but they arent so bad as they once were. And we still have fun, too.
I hadn't heard from her all morning yesterday, which is unusual, so I called during lunch. Said she was having a bad day, that it was hard to see the bright side of things, and that she was considering ending the relationship. I can totally relate to having a bad day like that but it wasn't like we fought the day before or somethin happened specifically to trigger this. So I said I understand and suggested we simply talk about whatever she wants to talk about later when she feels ready. Space is usually her way of dealing with things.
I've always struggled to give space. It makes me feel like I'm just waitin for a verdict. I find it very distracting but I've become good at just letting the other person be until they want to talk. Unfortunately this time around it seems more harrowing. Now I really feel like I'm just waiting for a verdict. I dont know if this really is "just a bad day" or if it could be the last.
So... how can I cope with waiting? What are the "normal" protocols about this sort of situation?
Thanks again. | how do people win the waiting game? |
t3_2c7evn | relationship_advice | I'm [19/F] attracted to an older [50?/M] past instructor-not sure what to do | I've stayed in touch for about 3 years with a past instructor. We regularly exchange emails and meet on occasion. I'm very attracted to him but unsure whether I should express these feelings and, if so, how. I've given up trying to discern any reciprocal attraction because he is older and I know that my judgement is biased.
As it stands our friendship (not sure what to call it) means a lot to me and I'm thankful just to have found a person like him, but I'm afraid that the suppression of my feelings towards him will prevent any growth from occurring in our friendship. I'm very timid and he is frustratingly appropriate so there are difficult boundaries to be tested, and because he is older I think that I'm the one to test them. I like that we've gotten to know each other at a relaxed pace but calm water soon grows stagnant.
The whole student-professor romance cliche doesn't help my situation and it's probable that he simply considers himself my mentor. But I'm in college and feel entitled (and expected) to pursue sex down all avenues. So there.
I don't believe I've asked a direct question here, but any advice or similar experiences would be much much appreciated. | I'm awfully into a past instructor that I've known for 3 years. I have no expectations-do I go for it? |
t3_qdi1l | AskReddit | Hey reddit, what's the closest you've come to death? I'll go first. | When I was about 10, I remember our parents installing this weird looking alarm, it was a carbon monoxide detector. They told me that it was important to have and that it was about time that we got one.
About one week later, the alarm went off in the morning. We thought we had bought a defective alarm, but still called to make sure. All of a sudden, firefighters come rushing to our house and turn off our furnace. Apparently, it had broken down and started producing carbon monoxide. If we hadn't have bought that alarm a week earlier, we would've surely all died in our sleep. I remember being so thankful that someone decided a carbon monoxide alarm would be a good idea. | Buy a carbon monoxide detector, trust me. |
t3_41gofp | tifu | TIFU by insulting a bunch of blind people at my job | So, like most TIFU's, this didn't happen today. It was a couple weeks ago at my part time job at a climbing gym.
So, we have a system where people book a climbing party for two hours. Generally birthday parties, but you get the odd sports team that comes in. I show up and immediately notice something wrong with all the people. Opon closer investigation, the entire group was blind. So I'm like whatever thats cool that they still do activities while there blind.
Cut to the end of my shift. Every things gone fine, the group had really enjoyed it. As they're leaving, in comes my autism.
"**See** you guys later!"
They all say bye, then leave. My colleges turn and stare at me, really pissed off looking. I realise a second later what I had said. | Tried to say goodbye to some blind people, accidently insulted/ looked like a class A asshole to my colleges. |
t3_2vzl32 | relationships | My[18F] first bf [26M] of 3 month still loves his "perfect" ex from one or two years before | Hey, I've never posted on reddit before but now I feel like I should talk about my bf... So, some facts first: We're together since 3 month, everything was very quick, he's my first bf, he's 26, I'm 18, we met on a dating site... Well, I love him.
I know its a big age difference, but he looks and behaves way younger, my parents and his parents are okay with it, so that's not the problem... But the thing is... he loves one of his ex girlfriends. The "perfect" one. The hot, sexy one with piercings. He showed me pics of her naked. He asks me if I would get tattoos or piercings like her. He checks her WhatsApp everyday, saves all her profile pics and texts with her sometimes. He doesn't hide loving her.
He says he will never trust a girl again (not even me) because he did it once and got smashed and "girls are all the same and will run off one day". I don't want to ever leave him, I want to spend every second of my life with him.
One day when we were cuddling in bed and listening to love songs he started to cry because of her... He's not the typ boy who would cry in front of anyone, so I was kinda shocked, but didn't say anything. His ex is engaged to another guy in prison (because of bodily injury), has a child and doesn't seem to want anything of my bf.
I really don't know what to do now or if I should do anything at all or just wait. I'm kinda confused because I've never felt that way before. I want him to trust me and would give him the time he needs... but on the other hand I want him to stop talking to his ex or even think about her and love me the way I am. But now I have doubts about me, about my look and if I might be too childish for my bf and that he might not love me. What to do? | My 8 years older bf still loves his hot, sexy, "perfect" ex, who's engaged to another man and has a child and therefore seems not to want anything of my bf. I don't know what to do. |
t3_1ty72w | relationships | I [20 M] want to date my friend [20 F] but I intend to not let the relationship last | I'd like to date a friend of mine.
We have a great deal of common interest, similar moral compass (which I found extremely rare for me personally) and other qualities that have attracted me to her, but there are characteristics and ambitions in this person that would be a deal breaker when considering a serious relationship, if it were to get to that stage.
Would it be wrong to get into a relationship with someone, knowing that it would have a restricting limit of how far it would go, therefore inevitably ending the relationship within around a year?
I acknowledge that as I'm young, my ideals and intelligence will change quickly as I progress this part of life, and I may grow to later not care about these particular characteristics, so the relationship could get somewhere. I am simply predicting there is a high chance it wouldn't.
Essentially is it wrong? If so/not, reasoning?
Note: I'm not comfortable discussing the details of what doesn't appeal to me in the person. The person herself isn't the point of discussion of the post | I want to date someone but I intend to break up when things get serious. Is that bad? |
t3_2n7ud4 | relationship_advice | I'm a [24/f] and my boyfriend [24/m] will not open up to me emotionally | My boyfriend and I have been in a serious relationship for 2 years. At this point in time it is long distance because I am in school, but he is looking for work up here and wants to move.
He's never said I love you. I've said it thrice and the response has been stone cold silence. After multiple attempts to have that conversation his answer is "he isn't ready" or "he doesn't know if he is there yet". Multiple times over the year I have told him I need him to open up to me emotionally because I feel like we have plateaued; he agrees and never does it, which makes long distance incredibly difficult.
We just had the talk again tonight and it's the same story that he will try harder and it's difficult for him to express himself and he still doesn't know if he loves me (even though he wants to move here, constantly talks about getting married, having kids blah blah future with me stuff).
I was in a relationship for 5 years previously and he's had 1 previous girlfriend of 4 1/2 years where he sums it up as "i got a gf because everyone else did and i didn't love her but said i did".
I'm just kind of stuck. He is absolutely perfect in every possible way except emotionally. He says he has never been happier and he has never cared about someone as much as he cares about me. A part of me wants to wait it out, give him space and another part of me wants to just end it because it's been so long and he should have figured it out already. | my boyfriend doesn't know if he loves me after 2 years and it's killing me. |
t3_3qjext | relationships | I (23f) consider my only "friends" to be my immediate family. Am I a loser? | I had many friends until I graduated. We all drifted apart and I moved away. They continue to hang out together but it's like I'm on another planet.
I went to college but had a lot of anxiety issues so I didn't make any friends there.
I'm really close to my mom (50f). She is such a huge part of my life and has always been there for me. I'm not as close to my dad (51m), but that's just because he's quiet. He's a wonderful man.
I wasn't close to my brother (29m) when we were younger due to age differences,but now we get along very well. I'm pretty close to my sister (26f) and we talk regularly.
I don't have any friends. I feel incredibly lonely. I love my family, but I feel like I am just some loser. | very close to family, no friends. Need consoling or advice. |
t3_e1qhg | AskReddit | I Have a Few Questions About Netbooks.. | I recently bought a "broken" HP laptop from my friend for $20 that I was able to fix and flip it for $275 profit. I was thinking about selling my aluminum macbook and use the $275 to upgrade to a new base aluminum macbook pro but started exploring the route of hooking my laptop up to an external monitor and getting a netbook. I'm a com science major so I'm not new to computer specs and everything, but I am new to the whole netbook thing. I really like the 11 hours or battery some of these things get compared to the 2 1/2 I seem to get with my macbook. I hate having to turn my screen all the way down and worrying about where the closets outlet is.
Yesterday I took some brochures from Target and Best Buy just to view them on my lunch break. I came home and started looking around and found this one. It seems like it's a little performer compared to the other stuff I saw but is the "0.3 megapixel webcam with security lens adds additional protection " a joke? Do they really sell these with 0.3MP cameras? Is that the standard for these if they have them? What can you even use a .3mp camera for? If you guys have any good recommendations for a great netbook, please let me know. Thanks!
p.s. Are there any upcoming netbooks I should wait for? | Flipped a Laptop for about $300 profit and would like you help finding me a solid netbook for taking notes, cruising Reddit, and running automotive tuning software that isn't screaming fingerprints or covered in stupid designs. |
t3_4cwadt | relationships | Me [21 F] with friend(?) [28ish F] of ~2 years, she's really difficult to be around but has latched onto me. | A couple of years ago my dad and I got into a hobby that doesn't have many female participants, and joined a local group that consists mostly of people my dad's age and older to do said hobby. I quite enjoy doing our hobby with them and my dad, but don't socialise with them outside of hobby-related activities.
One of the guy we know's niece (let's call her Kate) sometimes comes along. She doesn't have an interest in the hobby, but struggles socially. She is disabled, has learning difficulties, and apparently doesn't have a social circle outside of Church.
I pretty much have nothing in common with Kate, but I think I'm one of the only women close to her in age that she knows. I can enjoy hanging out with her on occasion, but it's quite tiring. Since I moved away to college, I'm not even in the same city as her most of the time, but she constantly sends me messages asking when I'll be around. I don't get chance to visit my hometown very often, and when I do I want to prioritise spending time with family and closer friends.
I feel bad even typing this out, but I'm a very busy person and she probably considers me a more important friend to her than she is to me. Should I try and put more of an effort in with her, or help suggest ways she can find friends that she'll be able to see more and have more in common with? | Someone I know from doing a hobby has learning difficulties and struggles socially, she's latched onto me and I don't know how to deal with it. |
t3_1epe1t | BreakUps | I'm (19m) not sure if I should seek another chance with my now ex. | I've known this girl for a year and a half now. A year of that time we were dating. There was a point in the relationship where I left the country for two weeks so we had pretty much no contact. During that time she took a liking for her male best friend. She broke up with me and went out with him for a month, maybe a little less. And then came back to me and asked for forgiveness and all that jazz.
After about 2 weeks, we started dating again. Everything was great. Obviously I didn't really want her talking to him but one day I saw that she was. I confronted her and she apologized and said she wouldn't do it anymore. Yet, it happened again about two days ago.
The reason I ask if I should seek another chance is because, the main reason she broke up with me was because she's asked me to change a couple of times and I never really did. She wanted me to stop being so selfish, to be more mature and not joke about everything, she wanted me to treat her more like a gf than a regular friend, and she wanted me to be more affectionate.
And the reason I brought up what happened with the guy was because the second time she was talking to him, I called her out on it and told her it's either me or him. She said she couldn't choose. The next day she tells me it's just not going to work between us because of how I am and how I haven't shown any effort to change for her. I feel like her and I aren't done yet, we have so much in common, the connection we have is incredible and she really can be a great girlfriend and all. | She asked me to change, I always kind of brushed it off. As I didn't see what was wrong, since it's a habit now. Willing to show her I can change. |
t3_4g7spv | relationships | Me [22F] works as a stripper and I don't know how I tell my boyfriend [22M] | I have been seeing this guy for 4 months now and I really like this guy. I met him in my class, he is just a overall great guy.
I told him I wanted to take things slow because, I don't want this to be just about sex. All my other relationships were just let's fuck as much as possible. I want to really form a connection with this guy.
I feel awful because I have been lying to him about my job. I work as a stripper, not a bar tender. I use to enjoy myself at my work, but ever since I started dating this guy I feel miserable there.
I feel guilty even though we have not had sex, he is really the only guy I want seeing me in that way.
Belive me I would quit but I am still in college and I can't find anywhere else to work. I have been looking for the past three months
It's 4 am here in California and I want to tell him tonight. But I don't even know what to say to him | I work as a stripper, I want to tell my boyfriend but I don't even know what to say to him |
t3_2xzq5o | tifu | TIFU by bragging about pancakes | *Mandatory "this happened about a year ago" disclaimer.*
So I woke up one morning and made some killer pancakes. Now when I say killer, I mean just purely outstanding and decadent pancakes. Pancakes so good they could solve the middle east disputes. Now that you understand how good these pancakes are, we may proceed.
As an unapologetic food-picture-taker, I of course uploaded a picture of said pancakes to my FB account. These were some good pancakes afterall.
Not 20 minutes later, a friend of mine posts something to her wall relating to pancakes.. I don't read it, not thoroughly at least, I'm still in pancake nirvana after my breakfast, so I simply comment on her status "My profile -> Mobile uploads -> Pancakes, nuff said".
Within minutes I start getting people asking me questions:
"Wait.. are you serious?"
"Dude!!!"
"OMG are you for real?"
I don't know what is going on. I'm still in a food coma from the stack of unbelievably fluffy gifts from heaven I had consumed. I figure I should probably go read what my friend had posted.
"Whoever my future husband is.. he better make some good pancakes". | Made delicious pancakes, accidentally kind of proposed. |
t3_33pcl2 | relationships | I [21 M] only love my girlfriend [21 F] of 6 years some of the time. I am ADHD and Bipolar. | I finally created a Reddit account simply to ask this question. I've attempted to research it for a long time now. I was diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar disorder (and OCD, technically) a couple of months ago and have been undergoing treatment. Finally having an understanding of my problems has brought me a lot of relief and peace, as I now have hope for improvement. Living with these undiagnosed for so long has been problematic to say the least. However, even with the knowledge of these conditions, I still do not know if what inexperience toward my partner is normal.
I spend several days believing that I love my girlfriend, and cannot wait to get married once we're out of college. I spend the next several days believing that I do not love her at all, and am merely afraid of leaving her/loneliness, etc. I have no idea during those items if I have ever felt true love or just silly highschool love. No matter how many times this occurs, I believe whatever state I am in to be accurate. The problem is, I genuinely do not know which to be true. Do I think I love her when I'm manic, or do I think I do not when I am depressed? I honesty don't know what to trust.
I've tried reading about relationship problems with couples where one has my conditions, but no one seems to struggle from what I am describing. If anyone has ADHD and/or Bipolar Disorder or knows someone who does, I could really use some insight into if this is normal and how to deal with it. The stress of flipping every few days is immense, but I have no idea which one is the "real" me, so I cannot help it. | I have ADHD and Bipolar Disorder and my love for my partner is inconsistent. Is this normal or should I leave? |
t3_34rm9m | personalfinance | 25yo just starting out in life, w/ first real job. How am I doing? How can I improve? | Hello.
3 Months ago I moved to San Jose, California for my first real full-time job out of college. Unfortunately I was unemployed for a long while (1.5 yr) beforehand, so I feel I have some catching up to do. None the less, I take personal finances quite seriously, and I also find it quite fun because I'm a nerd who likes line graphs.
Background and misc. info:
- I'm a 25 y.o. engineer living around San Jose, CA - Housing is expensive : (
- My salary is 62k. Yes I know that is well below average for engineering in the bay, no I am not in software engineering, and no I do not work for a tech company. Its a mid-sized manufacturing business with mostly employees in their 40s - 60s. It is also related to the industry in which I wish to make my career, (which is not tech). I say this just so people don't keep telling me to quit and find a company that pays competitively to tech companies.
- I have ~25k in student debt. I aim to pay off 1k each month. Highest loan is 11k w/ 6.8%, which I am attacking first (Avalance Mehtod).
- I have a 6 month waiting period before company starts matching on my 401k, (3 months to go) so I don't yet have any money going towards retirement
- I have about 6k in my savings account (which acts as my emergency fund), about half of which was saved up in the time since I started the new job.
A detailed breakdown of my montly finances is here:
A second, editable version is here, if you want to make suggestions/changes:
**Summarized/ | 3750 income/month (after taxes) |
t3_2z3yfg | relationships | Would me (M/24) ignoring a girl who has a crush on me hurt her? | I do notice her, but I act as if I don't give a shit about her.
Is a good way to avenge myself for humiliation and bullying in school and elsewhere? I know she didn't do it, but I don't really care, I just care about some form of retribution.
I am much better looking and athletic than before so there's no shortage of girls that like me. I know pumping and dumping or even staring a relationship and cheating/dumping would be better, but it would take too much time and resources, some of which I don't have like experience, so I doubt I could seduce anyone, I have never tried though. So I think I will stick to this. I am obviously doing it on a daily basis already. | Would that be a good way of revenge? |
t3_4ey1pn | legaladvice | Do I actually qualify for unemployment? (Washington State) | I posted on here before, but can't recall my username. A couple months ago, the owner of the company I worked for fired the 2 managers of the company. One of those managers was the only scientist in the business approved and certified by the state of Washington to approve lab results. After the owner fired him, he demanded the rest of us (far from qualified or recognized by the state), continue to process samples and release results to the state and to individual customers. Part of processing the samples included signing off personally for each test completed. Since the state of Washington requires EACH sample result be PERSONALLY reviewed by a state approved scientist (who had just been fired), I spoke up and said we shouldn't be processing any more samples. The owner disagreed and made a comment about how the results aren't really that meaningful anyway. Only 1 person in the company agreed to continue. Under the demands of the owner, she continued to release results illegally. We all resigned the next day.
I filed for unemployment, and just got denied. His reasoning in the denial letter is that I "made assumptions that were incorrect." The reasoning offered by the state is that the terms of my resigning "does not fall within the criteria of the law to be considered good cause."
Here's why I am confused. There is a list provided in the letter that spells out all of the reasons for quitting that won't exclude me from receiving unemployment. "Illegal activities at the work site." The owner was insisting that I knowingly process samples when the only certified scientist had already been fired. No samples should have been processed after that. The business was audited by a third party company sent by the state recently, and was promptly shut down. One of the reasons listed for shutting it down was that results were sent to the state for samples that had been processed after the firing of the lead scientist. Am I misunderstanding? This is a state compliance lab that was intentionally faking compliance with the regulatory agency. I was BCCed on a response to a reporter about this issue. The reporter had a copy of the audit report and wrote that the owner tried to explain away the issue (and it didn't work) by saying that "the date on the reports were typos." | Owner of company asked me to do something I think is illegal. I resigned. Unemployment was denied because owner said there was a "miscommunication." |
t3_3tg6xb | relationships | Me [24 M] with my coworker/crush [22 F] it is complicated and I don't know what to do. | Edit: So this girl started 3 months ago at my company, we've gotten pretty close through a carpool between just us, but she has a boyfriend. Before I knew she had a boyfriend I asked her out and she said she had to watch her nephew, which she ended up doing. She later agreed to carpool with me and she ended up telling me she had a boyfriend once we started driving together. (forgot this part)
At first I just had an infatuation because she is honestly a very beautiful girl. But that quickly turned into a crush as I got to know her better and found out how similar we are... Through her own words, her and her boyfriend style's are opposite and she will comment about how he doesn't do this, or how he does this, or how she can't do this with him. It is worth mentioning that one night while I was dropping her off, she commented on how she gets depressed when she is alone and that she doesn't feel like she has enough time for herself.
I feel as though she likes me because when we're talking together she'll giggle at things I say or she'll joke with me and then stare into my eyes or she'll bring up how warm the sweater is that I gave her.
But now this past week she has been pretty distant to me and I think it is because she thought I left her something on her desk that I didn't. When she asked if I left her something I said I didn't and she continued to press me about it; until she later found out it was someone else.
At this point I don't know what to do, I want to tell her how I feel about her because it is killing me to be around her, but I also don't want to loose her as a friend. People have been telling me that the best thing to do is just step away from the situation, but I don't want to miss out on a chance with someone like this. What do you guys think? | Girl with boyfriend (of a couple months) is hot and cold around me and I feel like she is waiting for me to make a move, what do I do? |
t3_cffkg | Pets | Cat outside had kittens.. help! | Reddit:
My boyfriend and I have been taking care of several feral/stray cats over the past year. I am a college student living Orlando, FL and time and resources have made getting these cats neutered/spayed and vaccinated a slow process, but we're working on it. One of them has managed to adjust to a happy indoor life inside of our apartment and I had to have one euthanized after a 3 hour trip to an e-clinic for getting into anti-freeze in the parking lot.
I haven't been quick enough in my spay/neuter efforts, and one of my girls had kittens today. They are an adorable bunch of so-ugly-they're-cute rat creatures, but unfortunately I live in an apartment complex with neighbors who dislike cats, or that I've never said a word to once in living here for 2 years.
Our new Mama cat trusts my boyfriend and I.. enough to round us up and take us to her hours old kittens and show them off but doesn't like other people nearly as much. She was born feral and has turned into an odd mix of something between a feral cat and something a bit on the tamer side.
I am a bleeding heart and can't bear to think about these little ones not making it or ever being intentionally injured. I have phone calls into several shelters and am going to call the local humane society tomorrow. I am not worried about the kittens finding homes when the time is right, but am more worried about the mother.
Are there any shelters that would consider homing and fostering the kittens and releasing the mother to me to get spayed, vaccinated, and re-released? Has anyone ever dealt with any crap like this before? Relocation for the mother is not an option; there is nobody in the area willing to take her, even as a barn cat. I have been looking for the past 6 months.
I live in a tiny apartment with 2 cats and have no space to bring them inside and am at a loss. Is there anything that I haven't thought of? | feralish stray cat had kittens today, having horrible visions of dead kittens and want to bang my head against a wall. |
t3_bl1hg | AskReddit | April Fools Prank- yes or no? | Hey reddit.
My boyfriend and I both reddit, but I created this new account several days ago so he wouldn't be able to read this.
Anyways, we had a pregnancy scare the other week (we're in college) that made us want to go jump off a bridge. He is a self-proclaimed expert prankster that would "*never*" be fooled by anyone else. In the spirit of April Fools, I would like to revisit this pregnancy scare- since its something he takes very seriously and trusts me about. I already tested this on a mutual friend, whom I told Campus Health emailed asking me to come in again due to an "abnormality of lab results" and that I probably am pregnant. It worked. Should I choose to do this to my boyfriend it would need to be seamless. What would make it most believable? | Should I pretend to be pregnant to fool a boyfriend? Too far? |
t3_1k33cx | relationships | I[18F] need help adjusting to a long distance relationship with my boyfriend[18M] of 2.5 years. | So, my boyfriend and I graduated high school this year. We're both going to college in the fall, but he's going out of state (about 6 hours away). Our relationship is a very physical one in terms of affection. He has a hard time putting what he feels into words. I've been trying to get him to verbalize more (tips..?) via blogging.
He claims he misses me every night (and I do too), but when it comes to talking about him leaving, he doesn't get upset at all. Everyone is upset (and rather confused) with his decision to go that far from home during his first years as he's a total homebody. I'm nervous that he might realize how drastic it is when he gets down to college and I don't want him to fall into a depression. I'm so proud of him for chasing his dreams, but this is coming at a high cost, both financially and mentally. However, I'm glad he's doing something with himself compared to him not caring three years ago.
I'm nervous that I'm going to become kind of crippled by his departure. I know he loves me more than anything and we say we're soulmates (which I believe) but I can't help but fear for the things he can do without my knowledge. I trust him, but my insecurity kinda talks to me. :( I don't know what I'm going to do when I can't literally curl up in his arms and feel him stroke my hair to "soothe the savage beast", as I call it. He's really tame and has the patience of a saint. Granted, I'm going to be very busy. I have classes every day, all day, until the evening, and I'm commuting. I won't have much time to think "wow, I'm not gonna see him for x months". I wouldn't have much time to see him anyway (only just one day out of the weekend due to classes) so I suppose it won't be so harsh. I just need help adjusting. And maybe some cute things we can do over the distance to keep things happy and fresh? | my boyfriend and I have a very close/physical relationship and he's leaving for an out of state college in a month. How can I adjust and how can we keep things fresh and happy? |
t3_16uj57 | AskReddit | When was the most inappropriate time you've ever said "That's what she said?" (probably already been asked) | Well, it was opening night for our Highschool production of "The Servant of Two Masters" by Carlos Goldoni, and we're all passing the wish. Every show, the cast stands in a circle and holds hands, and squeezes the other person's hand in a line, while making a wish. Anyway, it was taking a while to get around full circle, and my cantankerous (but hilarious) director said, "You need to squeeze it hard to make sure it's moving." In a moment of connection and good hopes, I couldn't resist. The silence was broken and everyone was laughing. It started off the night on a light note, considering the play was highly sexual. This was like last week. Ahhh. It was great. | broke a good wish circle in theatre when director made a perfect set up. |
t3_3oekzy | tifu | TIFU by ruining my friend's big surprise | After a night of hanging out with one of my best friend, we went back to his room to shoot the shit and prank his roommate, our mutual friend. Being the asshole I am, I went for his roommate's iPad to take a billion photos of myself. On the lockscreen, I happened upon messages between my friend's girlfriend and the roommate, which was about a surprise visit (they're in a ltr) in November. My stupid ass had let him glimpse the messages and then proceeded to spoil the surprise because I thought I might as well tell him so that he doesn't think his gf is cheating on him. He then kicked my sorry ass out of the room. Now I'm just holed up in my room regretting basically everything ever. | I need to stop being a stupid, nosy motherfucker. And regret. |
t3_1xl9nw | relationships | Ladies of Reddit, have you ever been in a relationship with a guy who cries a lot? Why did he cry and how did you deal with it? I'll start... | I [24/F] started dating this guy[25] and about 3 months in he began to cry at the littlest things. At first I thought it was cute because he was showing me his sensitive side but then, after it continued, it got somewhat annoying.
One example was I came over one day after he got off work and he had gotten into an argument with his roommate (the girlfriend of his friend) and when I walked into his room he was sitting on the floor crying about how much of a bitch she was. Kicker? During the argument she told him "Why don't you just go and cry about it!" And he did!
I broke up with him not too long after that but I felt bad that it was one of the main reasons why because other than that, and a few other things, we had a good time together. | Boyfriend got into an argument with a girl and she made him cry |
t3_45swxu | relationships | Me [25M] with my coworker [24F], Want to know if I should try to date her. | So I've been out of a long term relationship (3 1/2 years) for about 4 months now. I'm ready to start dating now and have met a very beautiful girl at work, lets call her MJ. She's really shy and quiet, but constantly I'll catch her looking over at me from across the room. When our eyes do meet, usually she is quick to look away. I've talked to her a few times but she seems nervous and conversations don't last too long.
Well just this last Friday, I invited MJ to come drink and play cards with me and my roommate and his girlfriend. I picked her up from her house and went to get the drinks and stuff. We talked quite a bit in the car and there were lots of exchanged smiles, but still I could tell she was nervous. We got back to my place and started right away with some cards against humanity. That was fun but I could tell MJ wasn't opening up yet. Even though we were sitting next to each other on the couch, she never initiated conversation with me, or anyone else really. I figured, because she is hanging out with new people, she will be a bit nervous. As the drinks went on, she got less talkative. Whenever my roommate would ask her a question about herself, she would quickly check to make sure I was paying attention before she answered. At one point, MJ leaned her whole body on me just trying to put cards down, but she didn't have to go that far.
Basically I am just trying to figure out if this girl actually likes me and is just extremely shy, or not. What I would like to know is if I should keep this a platonic acquaintance thing, or talk with her more and see if she opens up. | Met a girl at work. Really shy but think she likes me. Want to know if I should keep trying to get her to open up. |
t3_3sklqd | relationships | Me [19F] with my roommate [20F], wants us to live in an apartment together next year, but I really want to live at home with family. What do? | So I am in my second year at college and my roommate and I have lived together in dorm rooms since August of last year. She and I have talked about it in the past and I have always agreed to the idea because I don't want to hurt her feelings.
My boyfriend and I had the idea of living together once my third year started since we are long distance, but we've since realized that it's too soon and we need to save money and all that. Since then I've been doing a lot of thinking about my living situation for next year and as of late, I think I've made up my mind about living at home. My university is only a 30-40 minute drive from my house and my mom could really use the help around the house ever since my dad died earlier this year. I love my mom so fucking much, and my roommate is actually trying to make me feel bad because I've been going home every weekend to help her with cleaning and stuff.
I've been weighing the pros and cons of living at home. There aren't really any cons. It is just a matter of commuting, which was my original plan before my first year but things didn't work out right. Anyway, I've made my choice but I don't know how to bring it up. I don't want to keep her out of the know but I also don't want to keep pretending like we are going to live together. She's already been looking at furniture and has a couple places in mind. I don't know what to say or how to tell her. HELP. | Don't want to live with my roommate next year in apartment. How to tell her and how soon should I spill the beans?? |
t3_swdp1 | relationships | GF has been arrested four times in two years. Deal breaker? | We are both in our mid-twenties and have been together since '09. She is a brilliant woman, a community volunteer, my friends think she's hysterical, but she makes the stupidest decisions.
I'm not going to go into detail of any of the cases lest her identity be found out by craft internet gnomes, but one arrest was 2nd degree burglary (not as bad as it sounds; she was drunk, stole her childhood nemesis' keys, locked said keys in her nemesis' car and hid the girl's cell phone in a bush.) Got a burglary charge for the phone.
The other three arrests involve drug posession and a DUI. Two felonies, one misdemeanor.
We are both graduating college this semester and inevitably my famiy want to know what my plans are as far as a living situation. When I mention that I plan on living with my woman, I receive nothing but disapproving looks and/or comments.
I knew her for two years before she starting sliding down this ladder of shit and I am positive she will overcome whatever it is that is leading her to behave in this manner. She's voluntarily sought counseling, has been sober for 80 days, and has returned to the local humane society to help out on the weekends.
What do you think, guys? Would you interpret this as a deal breaker or wait and see how things turn out? | GF has been arrested a lot lately with serious charges. Walk or stand by her? |
t3_jto51 | needadvice | What would you do if recent ex and good friend are getting together? | I dated her for a year and a half. When I say recent she dumped me while I was in Paris 6 months ago. I have had very little contact with my friends over these months because I was overseas and then living in Atlanta with my family. My friends are all in Virginia (where my college is). He was my roommate during most of the relationship. At about 6 months in he asked her to dump me and start dating him. She said no. I found out and got pissed at him but never cut him out of my life. (I know that is a mistake).
So this semester I was excited to get back to college. I thought I was finally over her. I was single (still am) and coming back to college. I was going to be living with my good friends all nearby. He and 3 other guys are my suite mates. Next door is 4 of my good friends. I found out that she did exactly what he did before, while he was dating someone this summer. He was living at the other girls house and ended up dumping her. They have gone on a few dates and I see them walking around campus.
Things I have done: I confronted her to find out what was going on and I told him that if they date I can never be friends with him. I am moving out of the suite and next door tomorrow. It just has to be processed by resident life. I know that I can never again be friends with him. I want to yell at him and tell him what a poor excuse he is for a human being but I have so far restrained myself. I am trying to expand my friends so I don't have to hang out with either of them again. Plus this way I can meet some girl who won't turn into a total bitch. Other than that I am just angry (like hulk smash angry). | Recent ex dating backstabbing friend/suite mate. I have politely told them off and told most everyone about it. I am trying to expand my social circle. I am moving in with other friends next door tomorrow. I don't know what to do at this point. Classes have just started so I don't have a lot of work yet. Anything you can suggest to keep busy or to do with the two terrible human beings? |
t3_373tpj | relationship_advice | I [28/m] don't know if I want to continue my relationship with my [27/f] partner | My girlfriend of 3 years and I recently had a discussion about the future of our relationship. Over the past few months I've had regular thoughts about ending our relationship and have fantasized about being alone for a while and pursuing relationships with other women. During our discussion I expressed my apprehensions about whether we could be happy together long-term and whether I wanted a future with her.
I've since spent the past couple days thinking about things. Internally I've been debating whether my past feelings and uncertainty about my future with her are indicative that it's time to end things and go our separate ways. At the same time I feel terrible and miss her like I haven't in a long time. So I'm left wondering if my past feelings are just normal feelings that sometimes pop up because you think the grass will be greener or if I should make the break now. | I expressed my doubt in the future of my relationship with my girlfriend. I've been thinking for a couple days and miss her a lot. I'm not sure what to do or how to make a decision... |
t3_l5znl | self | How can i focus on myself and not others? | Essentially i live my life to have a good time with people that i meet and have a lot in common. My issue is that why can't i focus on myself? All day i am thinking about what my friends are doing and i just can't wait to get done with whatever i am doing to go and hang out.
The issue is that i want to find a relationship that will make me happy, be able to sit alone for more than a few hours by myself without going crazy..but i can't do it because i am to focused on my friends life and what they have going on.
I don't know if anyone else feels this way but i am just too afraid of losing my friendship that i blow off so many other aspects of life and life is too short to be like this... | I want to be happy doing whatever i want to do, not what someone else is doing. |
t3_4aclyn | relationships | Me [25F] with my BF [28M] of 2 years, unsure I want to move w/ him b/c he has a child. | My boyfriend (28M) and I (25F) have been together for 2 years. I would describe our relationship as a good and healthy one. We have our disagreements and arguments, but they are solved quickly because we communicate with each other. On to my dilemma.
My boyfriend has a child (4M) from a previous relationship. I've spent a lot of time around him but respected my boundaries as his father's girlfriend (i.e. He calls me by name/I do not make him call me mom/I do not conduct disciplinary action). His child moved away with his mother a little over a year ago and he wants to be closer so my BF has decided to move. Where we are at we cannot simply make a drive to where he stays, we must travel by way of airplane. Before all this happened I knew he (BF) would like to be closer to him and I accepted that, and decided I wanted to move with him. This was over a year ago that I made that decision.
Here we are today and are about 1 year from moving. I learned more of what it is like to date someone with a kid. What I do not like is that the child's mother and my boyfriend do not have the greatest working relationship with each other (i.e., she doesn't even acknowledge that he is the child's father/he was sent home with clothes she thought were "used" (they were new) and said she didn't need "hand-me-downs), and even went as far as coaching their son to make sure to tell me that (the child) doesn't like me and other hurtful things. My BF doesn't try to cause any drama that I've seen, only to defend himself when she throws her attacks.I love my boyfriend very much and would definitely like to start a life with him, but I don't know if I can handle a crazy mom and the drama she gives my boyfriend. I really believe the only thing keeping me from really wanting to go is him having a kid and his crazy mom. 14 more years is a long time. | Boyfriend wants to move to be closer to his child. Made plans to go with him but now want to back out because his son's mom is crazy. Am I being silly, what should I do? |
t3_2pyg4k | relationships | I [21 M] just found out my dad has been cheating on my mother, married 28 years. | So I just found out my dad has been cheating on my mom and they've been married for 28 years. He is going on motorcycle trips and is sleeping with our old neighbor before we moved about an hour away. I had a hunch but he left his Facebook open and I had to look to be sure of myself. He's constantly on "adult friend finder" in his web history which I looked at after I saw his semi-explicit Facebook conversation. How can I even look my mother in the face? I love her so much, my dad is very supportive but is on the "colder" side of parenting. I don't even know what to do. Anyone been in a similar situation? I'm just kind of lost right now. | Should I confront him at all? |
t3_1h6gsd | pettyrevenge | You want to make bitchy comments? I'll shut you down. | Background: I recently moved with my mom to a new apartment. We decided to get cable, so we packed away anything that might get in the installer's way, including most of my shoes. Being summer, I didn't expect to need boots, but the weather proved otherwise. Luckily, I missed an old pair of boots while packing and didn't have to slog through the rain in wet flats. I also take a 9am course at the local community college.
Story: The morning was going pretty great. I woke up early, breezed through my morning routine, and made it out of the house on time. My mom managed to drop me off at the train station early, which got me to school an hour before class started. I was psyched. I actually had time to go grab breakfast from a nearby donut shop. As I was walking back, I hear someone say "She needs to toss those boots in the trash." I turn to see some woman and her friend sitting on a wall.
Now, I knew the boots were old. They were well worn, to the point that the soles were starting to rip. I had basically worn them everyday throughout high school (I'm almost 21 and heading into my 4th year in college). I loved these boots and I wasn't going to let some bitch insult them. So I turned to her stonefaced and said "These boots were the last gift my friend gave me before she died." To top it off, I thought of something sad to make my eyes water. She looked horrified and her friend looked down embarrassed. I turned and walked away satisfied. | Some bitch insulted my shoes, so I made her feel like a dick. |
t3_38flb6 | relationship_advice | [17M ] talking to [17F] and wondering what other think | Started talking to a girl at my school, we text everyday and talk everyday in the halls, it's been great. We've gone out together alone twice, once for breakfast and once after school we went to the mall, dinner and the school play. I didn't really ask her out directly as a date, i just suggested it and she agreed to go, but it certainly felt like a date. Last Thursday I took the girl to grad, dropping her off at home i kissed her goodnight (cheek, keeping it slow but showing I mean business) and she texted me later that night she had an amazing time. The next day one of her best friends (who is dating one of my friends) told me she thinks her friend likes me, but said her friend is hard to read.
All seems good yes, but i'm a huge overthinker I guess you could say. I've tried to plan a hangout with her this week but she said she's PMSing too hard to go. She told me she loves to hangout around midnight, so I suggested Friday night and she said she's got her friends birthday party. And then I inquired about saturday and she said she doesn't know yet because she likes to live spontaneously. I guess you could say I forced it a little too bad at this point but I like to plan my weekends prior to the weekend starting. (Also should mention this girl works a lot and has said she has a lot of priorities, but i knew she was a super busy person before her and I started talking).
While we still talk everyday and text everyday, and i've heard her friend tell me she thinks this girl likes me, and my friend said she believes this girl likes me, but I don't think I can accept it until she says she likes me directly. (shes pretty reserved so when we talk we don't generally talk about deep feelings).
I'm not really sure what to think so I decided to ask here, I'm just wondering what might be up cause she seems to be playing hard to get or just doesn't want to hang. But I just want to hear a second voice about what they think this girl is thinking about me and what not. | Text and talk everyday, hung out twice, went to grad and kissed her at the end. Her friend and my friend both say she likes me. Ever since we haven't hung out but i've suggested it twice. Not sure if she's just not interested or is playing harder to get. |
t3_1gtbgv | Advice | Should I quit my PhD program? | I'm 6-7 months in to my PhD program. I feel burnt-out, demoralized, and unhappy with life most of the time. While I have a great opportunity to study and live off of my fellowship, I feel like I have no life or motivation for anything else anymore. My health and happiness have both deteriorated. I miss having a social life and spending time with my friends in a non grumpy way. I already have my master's degree and came from industry, so I don't think it would be too tough to go back. I just fear what others will think of me. Am I failure, a quitter? I don't think so. I'd rather put my health, happiness, and life above that of a PhD program, especially when I'm not as enthusiastic about it as I used to be. Does anyone have a similar experience or advice? | 6-7 months into PhD I want to quit. Health and happiness are more important to me than this, but I'm afraid of looking like a failure. |
t3_3z1z3g | relationships | Me [20M] with my ex gf [18F] and i don't know what to do anymore | My ex and i ended things about last week after being together for 10 months. Yea, i made a mistake that led to it happening, but Ive been going through a constant change of myself and just had a rough night and let my frustrations get to me. I emotionally hurt her. But she called me last night, and we talked for 45 minutes. She said that she's conflicted now, because she wants to give me another chance, but since she told her friends, and her family, they're all telling her to move on from me. They never were too fond of me, because they never got to really know me. She even said that was her mistake of telling them and she knows I've been getting better, but said its too late now since all her family will hate me. She said they don't know anything good that has happened between us, which is a lot to be honest. More good than bad. What do I do? I really do love her a lot, but i don't know how to handle the situation I'm in. Is the relationship completely over? Or is there still a small chance if we give it some time? | We broke up, her friends and family (cousins) told her to move on and find someone better, even though she still wants to be with me. |
t3_et8ve | AskReddit | Am I doing the right thing? (Lying to girlfriend about an art sale.) | My girlfriend has been painting as a hobby for a few years now and has very little confidence in what she does. She's not amazing or anything but I really like her style and think I think a confidence boost is exactly what she needs to help her get to the next level. I've been trying to push her to get her stuff out there more but I'm a kind of an artist myself so I know pressure is the worst thing to put on someone so I've been approaching it very gently.
So the other day I called her to tell her I showed a friend from work some of her stuff and he's interested in commissioning a piece from her. The thing is, there is no friend from work -- it's me. Now I have shown my friends her stuff before and they all like what she does but they're not really art kind of people; purchasing artwork is the last thing they'd do no matter how good the piece.
Something about this makes me feel dirty for lying to her because I know she'd probably be able to sell some stuff on her own if she actually tried. It also kinda feels like I'm cheating her out of her first sale which is a very sentimental moment for most artists. But her mood has been ecstatic ever since I told her this and I've never seen her take painting this seriously before.
So did I do the right thing? Anyone else done something similar (doesn't necessarily have to be about art)? If so, how did it turn out?
Not really sure if this is the right subreddit for this as this is my first post. | like girlfriends art, she has no confidence, made up fake sale to friend which is actually me, she's painting like I've never seen before but I kinda feel bad for lying to her. |
t3_dcfdx | AskReddit | Reddit, can you help me with my sore throat? (high res pictures!) please and thanks. | Hello, I've had a sore throat for a few days now. As of yesterday, I have been coughing as well. My sinus is fine, and I'm really not clogged up at all.. however I seem to have a bunch of phlegm in there somewhere. I keep coughing to try and bring it up, however it's only a tiny amount at a time. After so much coughing, my throat is omg sore and hurts to cough.. but I can't seem to stop doing it. I haven't had a sore throat this bad in a long time and would be interested in any advice anyone might have? (note: It's 1:39 AM MST currently and I cannot see a doctor; that'll be on Sunday maybe, depending how bad it is). I've taken a bunch of cough syrup, a throat spray (over the counter), NyQuil, used some tigerbalm, lots of tea + honey, hot showers, played some Team Fortress 2, [rinsing with cayenne pepper] and have been drinking tons of water. Nothing seems to help.
Do you have any home remedies? old wives tales? leet internet hax? I'd appreciate it. Thanks!
(I tried to take pictures as best I could)
; | sore throat, hurts like hell, tried all the usual stuff. See pics. |
t3_l5q4l | relationship_advice | Only acted like a friend but... | Hey guys,
So here is my story. I met this girl i like about 7 months back. At first we were just friends and i had no intentions of it going any further. We became good friends and months passed. About 5 months after knowing her I realised I had developed feelings for her so instead of keeping it quiet I told her the way I felt.
Here is the confusing part she said she needed some time to think about it so I gave her time. During this time, we started texting a lot more and hanged out at least 3 times a week (more than half the time though it was with mutual friends) but we definitely became a lot closer. I made the mistake of only treating her as a friend and not a romantic interest (out of fear of coming off too eager or a daterapist).
2 days ago she abruptly stopped messaged me (where normally we text over 50-60 msgs back and forth a day) and her reason after she got back in touch was that she was busy with work and uni assignments then she told me yesterday that she doesn't feel anything for me like she has felt for past boyfriends.
My answer to this was that none of her past boyfriends were her friends first and I also was not really trying to act in a romantic fashion so to say she doesn't feel that would be unreasonable when I haven't even given her a reason to feel that way. | Was friends with girl, liked her later, she still sees me as a friend because i never acted like anything other than a friend. |
t3_cp9uy | AskReddit | Motherfucker stole my wrenches | I just started fixing up my first motorcycle, and one of the purchases I made was a set of metric box wrenches. They were $20. I'm far from wealthy, and little purchases like that add up. About a week ago, I came across an old man on my street working on his truck. Colorado plates, and I'm in PA. He asks if I have any box wrenches; he needs to replace his battery to start the drive home and who he's staying with doesn't have any. I think to myself, "If I wanted to, I could take his plates down. He seems honest, and I would hate to deny someone in need." So I say yes, grab a few around the size he thinks he needs, and tell him to put them in my mail slot when he's finished. He thanks me profusely, and I walk to work.
MOTHERFUCKER STOLE MY WRENCHES. They weren't there when I got home, I made a flyer and put it in the mailbox of everyone within a few blocks, and no one has responded. I haven't decided if I should chalk it up to miscommunication, or forgetfulness, but I don't want to lose my faith in humanity because of this guy. That said, I don't really have extra cash to buy new tools and this kind of sucks.
Am I being naive? Is this my moment to learn that even old dudes from Colorado want to jack my shit? Or do I take this in stride, continue to believe in helping whoever needs it (within reason), and move on? MOTHERFUCKER I NEEDED THOSE WRENCHES. | Motherfucker stole my wrenches; am I naive or solidly idealistic? |
t3_2fyw1d | Advice | Should I become more involved in social media? [SERIOUS] | I've never liked the idea of social media, it's always been in my nature to stay low-key and in the shadows while everyone else is updating their statuses non-stop, hash-tagging everything, taking selfies etc.
I have found using social media extensively to be slightly obnoxious, egotistical, and sometimes utterly pointless. I have always considered it a tool. For example, searching twitter for traffic updates or keeping in touch with friends on facebook that don't have phone numbers.
Now I am faced with potentially having to use the exposure aspect of social media as a tool. My career field(personal training/strength coach) is overrun by selfies, #gymlife #gainz , vines, instagram, all that. I have a fake facebook, no twitter, no instagram, no vine, no youtube channel, nothing. I am in the process of opening up my own business soon (still about 2 years away), and am coming face to face with the reality that I will eventually have to market my business and myself through social media.
What I would like some input on is whether I should start getting heavy into this stuff now so it will be an easier transition once it becomes a necessity, or if I can continue to build a solid reputation in the fitness industry and open up social media outlets for my business alone while remaining somewhat anonymous myself. Any kind of advice would be very much obliged, thank you! | Work in fitness industry, faced with pressure to become involved in social media yet I am reallllllly reluctant to do so. |
t3_rgcvo | dating_advice | I'm 23 and my crush is 18, is it weird? Also, approach advice. | Hello there.
So, I like this girl. I met her through friends since a few months, without really talking with her for more than 5 minutes. At first, I didn't think of her as much of a love interest.
Although, since early March, we've been talking a lot on Facebook (everyday) and I realised that we have a lot in common, and we really hit it off. She also joined my group of friends for a few parties and we had a great time, as friends. That's when I started thinking about being more than friends with her.
Being quite shy and very inexperienced when it comes to dating, I have no idea how to introduce the idea of taking it to the next level. It seems like we both like talking to each other; a lot of the time she engages the conversation on Facebook.
The thing is, I have no idea if she has any interest in me, more than friendship that is, and I fear getting rejected or embarrassing her or something... What should I do to become more than friends ? I don't know if I should straight up be "agressive" or just subtly flirt... I fear getting "friendzoned" or waiting for too long, but I just don't know how I should go about it.
The other thing is, last saturday night, me, her, and my friends where going out as usual when I discovered her age (she's 18, I'm 23). So I also ask you, should I not feel weird about the 5 year difference and just ignore that fact? I know that if I was 60 and her 55 no one would notice, but is it weird at my age? | I like this girl, don't know if she likes me, how do I take it do the next stage without screwing it up? Also, she's 18 and me 23, should I feel weird? |
t3_2to2hw | tifu | TIFU by shitting myself during sex. [NSFW] | Okay so like many other FU's this story is a few months old but I figure i may as well tell it.
There was a girl I had been talking to for a while. We'd been friends for probably two years but the entire time she'd had a boyfriend. I'd pretty much resided myself to knowing that nothing sexual would ever happen between us, but enjoyed her company nonetheless.
Anyway, after years of waiting she finally broke up with her bf, and me being me I swooped in asap. We started to get pretty flirty, and then we finally admitted (much to my surprise) that we both liked each other. There was a party a few days later and we planned on seeing each other there, and it was pretty obvious that we both intended for more.
So at the party it got pretty late, and we were both pretty drunk when we decided to hook up. Things started heating up so being the quality house guests we were, went up to a bedroom. We started getting it on and all was going well....until I started to feel her fingers fairly close to my asshole. "Bit weird" I said to myself, but id waited for this moment for so long I decided to go along with it. Then i felt some downward pressure, and the next thing I know she's fingering my ass while of on top of her. I played it of, somewhat because I was drunk, and somewhat because i was getting laid.
But then came the moment of climax. She must've been able to tell that I was close, because as soon as I started to...y'know...she removes her finger, and WOOSH, I released a steady stream of liquid shit all over the bed, and all over her. I screamed with embarrassment, and got straight of.
The kicker though: After hopping off and observing the damage i had caused, i looked up at her, only to be met with the response "Oh, not you too" | After waiting 2 years for a girl, we had sex. She fingered my ass and then I shat all over her while climaxing. |
t3_4d2uag | relationships | I [32F] don't know how to deal with my eating disordered mother in law [62F] | For background, I am a healthy size -- 5'0" 120#, but I have a history of anorexia nervosa, and am up from a low weight of about 85# from when I first started dating my husband. I'm in recovery, which I'm mostly really proud of, but it is tenuous. My mother-in-law is about my height and maybe 15# lighter, but she also has a more slender/flatter build. I also have a three-year-old daughter, who I am raising using the Ellyn Satter method, who I really don't want to end up with an eating disorder.
My mother-in-law as long as I've known her has food issues, which always seem to come out super passively aggressively aimed at me. She spends entire visits simply repeating over and over that she eats salad for every meal, and refusing any non-salad food item. My husband says she's always like this, but it seems very pointed: For instance, she told me how little weight she gained during her pregnancy while I was pregnant (the 20# that my doctors said was barely enough for me was apparently more than she gained during her pregnancy with twins.)
Every time she visits it's the same broken record: how she always eats salads; how X item on the menu looks so delicious but how could anyone eat it with that many carbohydrates? How she's "going to be good" and order Y instead of Z. Each of these things is said at least 4-5 times per meal. I've asked my husband to intervene, but he feels cowed by his parents and won't. I finally snapped at her today when she turned to my (tiny) three-year-old, who was eating a snack and said "I can't believe you're still hungry, you eat so much! Where do you put it all" and I told her that she wasn't allowed to criticize how much my daughter eats. I got the most stony, hateful look out of it. But really, as much as I want to protect my daughter, I would also like to protect myself because within about 24 hours of this, I fall into terrible habits. | My mother-in-law won't stop commenting on the food that she and everyone else is eating. How do I fix it? |
t3_3jftmg | relationships | Me [27 F] with my ___ [37M] "crush" ( no idea what to call this right now that is half the problem ) | ok so im a 27 year old female . there is this man ive known since around may this year. he started messaging me through social media ( we work together but had never spoken ) and we hit it off right away. about 6 weeks later i did a majorly stupid thing and we met up in the middle of the night for a 'short' drive which ended up in hours upon hours of chatting among many other things.
there was a break in this due to a rather complicated issue which was neither of our faults and we have now got back in contact around 2 weeks ago. he said he wanted to do things properly this time and be a gentleman. so we spent the whole weekend together, he cooked me a 3 course meal and we spent so much time connecting and being closer than i ever was with my ex of 4 years. this is where i am having some problems. I think i have deeper feelings for him than he does for me. He constistently tells me how amazing i am and we have discussed the fact that neither of us will be 'seeing' other people, however i dont really know what that means. whenever i bring things up , for example, so where do we go from here ? he says he wants it all to happen naturally. i just dont know what to do . i havent felt this way about anyone before and at 27 i think im sure about my own feelings by now.
to be honest i dont know what im asking, ive just had almost zero dating experience and this guy has blown me out the water with the way he treats me and speaks to me. we speak every day , morning til we go to sleep.
where do i go from here ?
i feel insecure and i know that thats so unattractive but i dont know how to stop myself feeling that way
any response is so gratefully recieved, i have no one i can talk about this to at all | A guy i like more than anyone ive ever been with ( had a long term 4 year relationship ) seems to feel the same way about me but im so insecure about where its going to go and any time i bring it up he says that it will go the way it is meant to ? although we have both agreed we dont want to see any else |
t3_2f53ou | relationships | I [19 M] broke up with my GF [19 F] of 6 months, might be doing things with a close friend. | I recently broke up with my girlfriend (she's polyamorous) in a very serious relationship even though it didn't last for very long and she didn't take it very well, at least that's what I'm getting. One of my close friends is in a long distance relationship, and I'm not sure what he is, but a year ago I heard he doesn't mind the polyamorous thing.
Since we broke up they've been hanging out together in her dorm alone, and he might be tonight at the time of writing. I'm a paranoid person and while it isn't my problem anymore (technically) it hurts at the possibility of a really close friend (possibly) cheating on his girlfriend and being with my ex, he might not see anything wrong with it (which is my problem) and it just seems inconsiderate.
It seems rude to me that he would do that (if he is), which makes me just rationalize in my head that he isn't, but if he is, should I care about it that much? I feel like it's natural right after a break up to be bothered by your ex being with someone so soon, and I'm monogamous (which is only a tiny reason for the break up, but I wish not to go into it) so the viewpoints are very different, but I would think my close friend would have some "post breakup etiquette" at least. | Close friend might be sleeping / making sexual advances on my ex girlfriend (I broke up with less than a month ago from time of writing from a serious relationship) and I don't know how I should react to the situation. |
t3_2t46lv | relationships | Do I tell my buddy (M28) that his fiance (F22) kissed their flatmate (M28)? | Another friend of mine told me that she spilled the beans to him about not being happy in the relationship, the kissing of their male flatmate, etc.
They're also engaged (have been for a while) with a newborn. Can this be post-partem?
It was just a kiss. But she's unhappy. And it could go further.
Also, the guys in this triangle (buddy and flatmate) work together and there is a possibility of buddy moving out for a little while due to relationship problems. He's already told flatmate that he can stay living with fiance and suspects nothing.
I've known him the longest, 10 years. They have been a couple for 5 years, and the flatmate has known them for 3 years. | Buddies fiance might be living alone with the man she kissed. What do? |
t3_2px58p | jobs | How to recover from a low requested salary when I strongly suspect they would have offered more? | So as many new jobseekers probably have done, I naively made the first move regarding money. In my first phone interview the HR person asked my desired salary. I said $50k. I realized after the fact though that the average is more like the [upper $50k] range.
They have now made me an offer for $26/hr- so about $52k. While this is actually more than I said in several months ago, there are some things making me think there is money left on the table:
* I know that they offered a guy ahead of me who declined the offer. He said they offered him around $60k. It is possible he is inflating this number, but why would he do that if he declined?
* There were two openings one here and another an hour or so away in smaller city. They gave the job here to someone else and asked me if I would do the one in another city. I didn't want to move so I said no. Now it looks like they are making the second opening in this area instead.
It seems like a good gig, but I actually have a temporary city job extended for me after my internship was up. This job would be for up to 11 months (though nothing guaranteed), and it pays $29/hr. I was kind of hoping that the new job would be able to match that.
Is it reasonable to think that they have a little more room to raise the salary because they don't want to start a new search for candidates? If so how should I phrase my request? | Make sure to breakdown what composes a salary when you ask someone. Be sure whether a company has anyone behind you to accept the offer if you try to negotiate too much. |
t3_1s5c30 | personalfinance | 19 Year Old Uni Sophomore Looking For Starting Credit Advice (US) | As the title says, I'm a college sophomore in Chicago and need some help building my credit. I currently have none that I know of, and need to at least start building it now, as I'm going to be moving out of University housing this summer.
Both of my parents have amazing credit scores (I forget their numbers, but the last time I went in with my Dad to buy a car with him, the salesman was shocked at the score he saw.) Anyway I'd rather like to be like them, and not screw myself over now and be paying for it forever.
I was thinking that the best thing I could do would be to get a credit card and pay off the balance each month, no if, ands, or buts, to start building my score up. My parents cover food, "normal expenses" (staples, dishes, textbooks, sheets. not "fun" stuff,) and my college costs (housing included.) I have one job that I pull in around $200 a month from working with an old roommate I had (ebay listing) and am working as a STA for 9.50 an hour at Smest Buy as well.
What cards would ya'll recommend (I have my Checking and Savings with Chase, but I figured there would be better options out there for people in my situation?) Also, if there were other things I could to do start building a solid history now, what would those be? | Thinking about starting to build my credit history at 19. I have two part time jobs, parents pay for UNI and food. What card should I get / what else should I do? |
t3_3u0s0g | personalfinance | (US) My universities financial aid has revoked an OUTSIDE scholarship 4 times in the past month, what can I do? | So a little context, I receive an outside scholarship of $2912 per semester. Along with my few loans this leaves me getting a return of about $2200. I took the loans out because I did not have a safety bubble to fall on in case something happened to my car or medically that needed immediate attention, I have insurance for both and my parents can help some but they couldn't help with $2000 if I needed it.
Here's the current timeline of what's happened:
In September they put an estimated number on my account for how much they expected me to receive. I went to them October 15th-ish and sent them and showed them the email from the director of the scholarship fund for how much I am supposed to be getting.
October 19th the check was received and returned and my scholarship revoked.
The next day the scholarship amount was added, and removed from my account. They also issued my a refund check for the $2200 I am supposed to be getting, and applied it to my account.
When I approached the office the individual was unsure why this occurred, later that day he forwarded me an email showing that the financial aid office was counting my room waiver (I'm an RA) **AGAINST** my tuition, and that the scholarship was no longer needed. The scholarship is specifically only for tuition, so I approached the scholarship director about this and the scholarship amount was back in my "pending aid" section the next day.
Today I saw that scholarship is no longer in my "pending financial aid" section, but there also is no account activity. I also got an email saying that my account was overawarded, which makes no sense because I am receiving the correct amount in loans for a senior and getting only a little aid save for my scholarship.
Right now I am at a loss, the money isn't the biggest thing to me but the loss of sleep and the nights of worrying has made a huge impact on my mental state. Shortly after dealing with this in October I had a mental breakdown and had a grand mal seizure, and right now I'm terrified that this is going to happen again. | Financial aid office is refusing an outside scholarship because of their mistake, after fighting for a month I had a mental breakdown. What are my options? |
t3_3tcdbn | relationships | How do I [27F] communicate my anxiety issues correctly without freaking him [31M] out? 1 year together. | Hi, longtime lurker, first time commenting.
I've been with my wonderful, understanding SO for 1 year. It's soon, but we absolutely see a future with each other. I'm madly in love with him, and I think he feels the same way. There's a problem, there's another person in the relationship, and his name is Anxiety.
95% of the time, I can manage my anxiety. The other remainder of the time, I panic and cry. Then I apologize profusely with makes it worse. It's a very vicious cycle. I've had "pregnancy scares" twice and each time I feel awful for putting my boyfriend through it. He says he doesn't mind, but I don't want him to be afraid of having sex with me, or get tired of me. He's very understanding and helps me with it all, but I'm afraid he will eventually see this as a defect or deal-breaker and leave me. I should mention I'm not combative or mean when I panic, I just seek a lot of reassurance and get panicked. These episodes usually last about an hour, and they happen maybe 2-4 times a year.
How do I apologize for having an anxiety episode without over doing it? How can I make sure my boyfriend is comfortable when I'm having these small episodes? | Have anxiety, afraid boyfriend will leave me which causes - you guessed it - even more anxiety. |
t3_1eep6e | relationship_advice | I don't know if it is time for me [20f] to break up with my LTR boyfriend [21m] | I'm 20. I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. We are very comfortable and I love him a lot. I've identified as bisexual/pansexual/queer/not straight the whole time. One of my lady friends and I used to make out at parties early in the relationship but stopped because it's a bit rude to do that in a monogamous relationship. Pretty good sex life but limited as we live at home. Wonderful person, sometimes talk about kids and marriage and growing old together.
Lately I've been super busy with uni and work, I haven't seen him for two weeks now. This isn't bothering me. I accepted an extra shift without a second thought that "Hey, he was going to see if he could visit me if I wasn't studying". I feel guilty that this doesn't bother me. I don't know if this is because I've barely seen him. I've also developed a bit of a crush (that I am NOT acting on) on two people - a guy and a girl. They don't know this. I feel like the gay side of me is trying to come out, pardon the pun.
Problem: his birthday is coming up. I'm going on a short trip with his family soon. I don't know if this is a phase or if it is something I will get over. I don't know what to do. I'm scared of breaking up, I haven't been single since 15, I'm scared I will break up and turn out to be straight and never see a relationship with someone so compatible again. | queer girl with cis boy. Getting bored, don't know if it is a phase or not, scared of breaking up. |
t3_vc7q8 | dating_advice | Interested in dating a girl, but I'm trying to determine if it's a good idea... | It's somewhat of a weird situation...
There's a girl that works at a local restaurant, that I noticed a couple of weeks ago, or so. And it just so happens 3 of my close friends work there as well. The girl is pretty damn cute, short, red hair, great smile, etc. Anyways, when I expressed to a friend (one of her co-workers) that I found her attractive, they agreed, but proceeded to tell me about some of the stuff that had gone on between them at work (sexually). He's never once warned me away from her, just said that she's a really nice person, but sexually aggressive. Hes even put in a few good words for me to the girl and expressed that she thought I was pretty cute and seems interested.
My questions are:
A) being that a friend of mine has messed around with her (never sex) is it a good idea to date her? Event though he seems all for us, hooking up.
B) A bit personal, but and honest question. Being a virgin myself and her being sexually aggressive, there seems to be being a relatively high chance that if we did date, sex is probably going to take place. Would that be a turn off? And as far as me being a virgin, honestly you'd just have to be in my shoes to understand why. I'm a pretty good looking guy, but I went to a Christian Private school in high school (which is obviously anti-sex before marriage), and after high school move to go to Uni and was working 45-50 hours a week on a 16 hour college schedule, and to make it worse I was living 45 minutes away from where I worked and went to school. So between being in a crazy conservative environment and being too busy to breath, I never had sex, leaving me to be one of the only relatively good looking, 21 years old virgins to ever live in this century... | Should I date a girl, after she's done a bit of the dirty with a good friend of mine who actually seems to be provoking this girl and I to date? |
t3_f8zah | AskReddit | Is it unconstitutional for your ISP to submit your history to a third party? | My ISP sent me a letter with my bill this month. The letter explained how they tracked my recent downloads and found that a certain file was in violation of their copyright agreements with [name of company with ownership rights to the contents of the file] and that any further actions related to this one would result in an investigation, and most likely, a lawsuit.
I'm not going to confirm or deny that the file was on my computer at one point. The scenario has raised some suspicion in my mind as to how much of a breach of privacy this is by my ISP. I'm under the impression that giving your information to a third party for advertisement purposes (using your search history to change the ads on your screen, etc.) is a violation of most companies' conduct policies. I could be wrong, which is why I'm here asking Reddit.
For example, when you sign up for a free email address (gmail, hotmail, whatever), they're not allowed to give out your information for any reason, especially for endorsement purposes. **ex: Best Buy is not allowed to pay Hotmail for a list of email addresses to send junk mail to, are they?**
If I'm right in that regard, how is it any different for an ISP to track my downloads and report my history to anyone? | ISP caught me downloading stuff, I believe it's a breach of my privacy. Am I right? |
t3_4ml71w | relationships | Me [25F] with my husband [27M] been together 9 years, Messed up a lot and need help changing my ways. | Ok before I explain my situation let me say I realize now my behavior is horrible. I don't want to be thrown under a bus so please focus on actual advice to help and not tear me down.
I've been married to my husband for 8 years now. We got married very young I was 17 he was 19. Hes a wonderful man who has put up with more of my crap than he deserves. He was a strong willed, independent, opinionated man before me, I broke him.
Due to my past I have a lot of insecurities and control issues. Growing up I was abused mentally, physically, and sexually by my own father. I never had control of my life during this time all of this took it's toll on me and really messed me up. After he died I was free and assumed I would finally in control with my life. I was wrong.
My mother was a horrible druggie who was never around. After he died she married me right off and signed over custody of my little brother for me to raise.
Now back to my husband, I projected a lot of my insecurities onto him without realizing it. I wouldn't let him watch anything with nudity in it at all. I am crazy jealous of women he works with. I said slot of hurtful one sided comments to him about everything I don't agree with.
We fought a lot through all these years. His family doesn't believe in divorce that's the only reason he stayed IMO. I was a major controlling bitch who was so bad my husband was scared to talk to me. He never did anything wrong. Never cheated, or talked to any other women at all.
I know my actions are inexcusable but I want to change. Our relationship is starting to get better we've both started to open up with each other. He says he still loves and wants to be with me. I want to be better for him. I want to be the wife he deserves. So please give me advice how on how to I can change my mindset and be a better person. | I'm a horrible wife who really wants to be better. Please focus on my realizing what I'm doing is wrong and wanting to change than my wrongdoings. |
t3_2128em | relationships | I [24F] need to know if I am out of line regarding [24M] boyfriend's activity on facebook. | My boyfriend has a brother whom I cannot stand. His brother openly disrespects me in front of him and in his absence, and my boyfriend defends his brother's right to be an ass ("I can't change his behaviors.") Obviously, I do not enjoy his brother, but they are best friends so I have to put up with him.
His brother is recently involved with a girl whom used to be a friend of mine. In what I am guessing were her attempts to establish rapport with his brother when they were getting to know each other, she spread a false rumor about me (a rumor I had previously been confronted with by her, and had denied) to his brother. This rumor could have ruined my relationship if my partner had let it.
My partner and I talked it out, and he has effectively sided with me (though he does not agree that she was spreading rumors to build rapport). He knows what disdain I have for her, and how I could never be friends with her again. However, he still "likes" and comments on her posts on facebook, making himself either a neutral party or seeming like a friend.
It drives me crazy that he would even be remotely interested in her, being that she deliberately tried coming between him and I prior, in order to establish rapport with someone she was getting to know. It bothers me further that the reason he probably cares to know her is because his brother is his best friend.. Who is dating her.
I am extremely bothered by my boyfriend's positive behavior toward her after what she could have done to us, and it is making me view him as less of a partner to me. After all, what kind of teammate stays in touch with someone who tried to destroy the team?
I'm coming to you, /relationships, because I have seen you offer great advice before. Do you think I am being childish about this, or is he wrong for wanting to keep any sort of friendly relationship with her? | Girl tries coming between boyfriend and I for her own personal gain. Boyfriend still wants to act friendly. |
t3_39cpam | weddingplanning | is it disrespectful to play music with adult content at a wedding reception? | Hey everyone, my bride-to-be and I are getting married Oct 16th of this year. We love hiphop & R&B A LOT. All of our friends do too. Our religion is spirituality, so we would say we identify with the Buddhist philosophy if that helps in this context. It's not a religious wedding.
We don't play hood music but we do enjoy artists such as Jay-Z, Drake, Kanye, Pharell, Justin Timberlake, Beyonce, etc.
Facts: A) There will not be any kids at our wedding. B) About 90 people attending C) We will personally know 85% of the people and are certain we will not offend them.
It boils down to the few people who our parents invite. Our parents are generally easy going and loving, but they show a strong preference to have only 100% radio edits.
We are the type of people who enjoy pleasing others. We would normally comply with any request that would cause anyone around us to feel uncomfortable. However, strangely enough, we feel very strongly that we should have complete creative dominion over what we will play. We are mindful not to play songs that are abruptly violent, misogynistic, or repulsive (subjective, I know). | The music we love is not valued by all and on our special day, we feel compelled to play music we and our friends love. However, we want to please everyone but feel that when there is a trade-off to be made, we're looking for your feedback. |
t3_4e5ywe | relationships | Me [19M] with my parents [50s M/F] lied about where I was and now lost their trust | Ok so I'll try and keep this as short as possible. I basically told my parents I was going to be at school when instead I went to spend the night at my girlfriends house. They found out because they went to my school and saw my car wasn't there and then they went to my girlfriend's and saw it was there.
They were pissed at me and I got a long lecture about trust and how they aren't sure if they could trust me anymore and how they didn't raise me to lie. I understand what I did was wrong but I also feel like they should give me some more freedom. I already live alone and it seems restrictive. The only reason I lied is because I know they wouldn't have let me spend the night, and I barely get to see my girlfriend.
So the next day I did something stupid. I was upset and angry and I needed to leave the house so I told them I was going back to school, but I really went to a friends house and slept over. They drove to my school at 6 in the morning to check if I was there and when they didn't find my car they got furious with me, and texted/called me a million times about how could I. I got to school as fast as I could and told them I had been sleeping with a friend at another dorm, but they dont believe me and they wont answer any of my calls or texts. Should I come clean? I feel like crap rn. And before everyone in the comments bashes me, I know what I did was wrong and stupid, but I also feel that they are taking it too seriously. Any advice is appreciated | Lied about where I was sleeping to parents twice and now they won't talk to me and it seems their trust in me is shattered |
t3_2vkk5f | tifu | TIFU by being in the moment | It seems like I'm on a roll of fuck ups this week.
This is my second FU in 4 days, here it is.
I was in a french class and I wasn't really intrested today for some odd reason, so I pick up my phone, open a youtube channel called Vsauce and watch a video (I'm a big fan of the channel and I watch their videos a lot even though they only upload every 2/4weeks)
So the video was intresting as always, but coming to its end, the guy started talking about how us moving and reacting is contributing to the death of the universe (So called the heat death)
So me being in the moment and forgetting that I'm actually in class,
I wave my hands twice in the air screaming 'FUCK YOU UNIVERSE!' thinking that it was funny, but after then I realised I fucked up.
My teacher was confused and a wide range of my friends started laughing or just giving me odd looks.
My face turned extra red and I asked to go to the toilet, yet I got a no. | Don't watch videos in class |
t3_308ux2 | tifu | TIFU by going to a Tinder girl's house... | To begin, we met first and spent the day together, got food and some coffee and stayed in touch. She mentioned she was joined a church, which I didn't think too much in to. Anyways I was telling her how shit my job and current house was, and wanted a break.
So she invites me out to her house, I was thinking is this on? She lived quite far away from where I live so I thought surely. I made her a really nice meal as she said she wasn't much of a cook, so I thought I was in.
We hop in to bed and then absolutely nothing, not even a tickle. I leave the place with bigger blue balls than a bullock before San Fermines Festival. | Tried to bang a church girl by going out of my way to do so, end up with blueballs. |
t3_1om1i9 | relationships | How soon should I [32F] break NC with my ex [34M] to exchange each other's stuff? | I posted a bit about this previously here ( but didn't get any replies - if you want extra backstory, it's all there.
Was with my ex for 5-6 months, he'd moved in, along with all his stuff. When we broke up, he moved 75 miles away, but neither of us have a car and he didn't have any space to put it, so it got left here. I went no contact when I heard he was seeing someone else, at which point he'd already left his stuff in my house for 2 months because he had no money and nowhere to put the stuff still.
We've now been NC for about a month, and I've been really good about not checking up on him on social media or texting him or anything, but I do want to get his stuff out of my house, and he has a laptop of mine that I'd like back.
Thing is, I don't really want to talk to him at all, because I'm still hurting a lot over the split and I'm still angry and miss him, so I don't want to stir anything up - but I don't want this to go on forever, because I feel a bit like I'm being used. I have no idea if he has money or space yet, however I'm really starting to feel like this is just not my problem anymore and I want rid of the stuff so I can move on properly. It's really painful walking around my house, and not only do I keep tripping over it, it all smells like him, so I'm stuck in a sense memory nightmare.
I haven't blocked his email or phone number, so if he really needed it back, he could have asked by now, which is why I'm feeling a bit like I'm being used as a storage facility at the moment.
(FYI: It's a lot of stuff - some furniture, several computers, 5 large holdalls of clothes and shoes, around 200 books, 3 boxes of cables/wires, 2 guitars, some speakers, a large TV and 8 smaller bags of random assorted crap - so I can't move it myself and it's taking up a lot of space)
So. Help? | Ex moved out 3 months ago, now NC but still have stuff to exchange. What do I do? |
t3_53ni2f | relationships | Me [24 M] with my Girlfriend [32 F] 4 months, how to tell her a friend that assaulted me should go away. | So some of this is in a TIFU as well, but I'd figured I'd ask here.
Pretty much here is the whole situation; We have been together for 4 months now. During these months, we have been up and down. I have had sex chats, she has cheated. I want to be hers and hers alone, she has "obsessions" with other guys and not me. It's been really frustating. However, there is a sweetheart I really fell in love with. I know that girl is there and I want that girl I know. Not the drama filled whore I'm all too familiar with now. I have spent a lot of time, effort, and tears trying to get this relationship to work. This is a girl that has been by my side when I was near death, and when I had hurt my leg she dropped everything just to be with me. Do I think she has issues? yes. Do I think I have issues? yes. Everyone has issues, I'm just trying to do what I can to remove the toxicity from this relationship.
Situation: My roommate, one of her friends and "obsessions" finally lost it, assaulted and illegally evicted me this past weekend. I'm trying to talk to her and explain why that someone that does that should not be in her life, and I do not want to date her if she thinks that is okay. She says that I am being controlling when I ask of this. I'd really think I'm not being controlling and just being reasonable. What can I say or do to kind of tell her that's really fucked up. Am I in the right here? Or am I really just being controlling?
Any advice is appreciated, thanks
-SomeRandomHeartbrokenUSer | Girlfriend's friend and my roomate hits me, don't want either of us around him, she thinks that's controlling |
t3_2bf47b | relationship_advice | Am I (18/M) unintentionally manipulating my friend (19/F)? | Okay, so I reconnected with this girl after a few years of non-communication, and we had both really changed in that time, so it was almost like we re-met as the new versions of ourselves. I think we really hit it off, and one night she was having a really hard time and I was trying to comfort her, and she ended up spilling everything that was going on in her life and crying on my shoulder for a solid two hours. She was very appreciative towards me after this happened, and we continued to hang out and grow our relationship. I had been sensing that she had feelings for me, and I was beginning to feel the same way. The last time we hung out, this came up and we both admitted it to one another.
Now, before this happened, I was talking to someone who is friends with both of us, and this person said that it would be inappropriate for me to have a relationship with her because of relied on me for emotional support. I'm concerned moving forward that this person is right and that the girl might be feeling attached to me because I supported her in that way, and not because she's genuinely interested in me. I don't want to unintentionally take advantage of an emotionally-charged situation. What do you guys think? Do I have a green light to move forward or is this inappropriate? | I supported girl emotionally, we get feels for each other, third person says it's inappropriate to date her because of the emotional support |
t3_4jqooq | relationships | After months of dating he [29 M] hasn't mentioned a relationship with me [24 F] help! | So I decided to give online dating a try, everyone was talking about it and my friend met her partner on it so I signed up. I never thought anything would come of it..until Ryan popped up!
We started talking mid February and we just clicked so well but he never mentioned meeting up so I thought he was just looking company or someone to chat to, not an actual relationship. Anyway a month went by and he finally asked me to meet up in mid march.
Since our first meet up things have been going great, we have been seeing each other 2 times a week really - but the only thing that's bothering me is i'm not sure he wants to turn it into a relationship?
I don't want to talk to him about it because I don't want to seem like one of these crazy girls and I don't want to scare him off... but it's starting to bother me A LOT. He hasn't mentioned me meeting his friends or parents or anything , but he does mention us doing stuff together all the time and he's even wanting to go away on a weekend break together...but Is two months long enough to decide if you want to be with someone or not? After 2 months should it have escalated to a relationship?
Am I being crazy? | After 2 months of dating, should he want a relationship? |
t3_3gxa9t | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of 8 months: She has a picture of some philosopher guy in her bedroom | My girlfriend (22f) and I (24m) are having a disagreement about a picture.
I met my girlfriend, Sam, 8 months ago at a house party and we've been pretty much inseparable since then. She's witty, intelligent, funny and gorgeous and we are almost the perfect couple.
The only issue I've been having recently is a framed picture she keeps over her bed. It's of an older gentleman lying in bed with a scowl on his face. She lives with roommates and I live alone so we spend most of our time together at my place and I've only been in her room a couple times so I've never really brought it up.
For a while I just figured it was a relative of some sort (Sam is African American but this is a picture of a white guy) until recently I met her extended family at a birthday party for her cousin. On the way back I asked who the picture in her bedroom is of, since it's not anyone I met at the party. She started laughing at me and explained that the picture is of some apparently famous philosopher guy named Slavoj Zijek (I don't know if that's spelled right) and she doesn't know him. WTF. We started arguing about it, I said it was weird to keep pictures of random people in your bedroom and she said it was somehow 'pomo', I don't know what that means, her major is philosophy and mine is computer science. | girlfriend keeps picture of a philosopher on her bedroom wall. I'm weirded out and kind of jealous that this guy is apparently so important to her that she has a random picture of him above her bed. Am I overreacting though? |
t3_4grs0j | weddingplanning | Un wanted/needed bridal shower. Help ? | A little background we have been together 13+ years and getting married in less than 5 months ! We have a home and all the fix'ns. We are selling our home and moving 3 hours away, trying to buy a home in the new area with in the next 30 -40 days. Needless to say i have alot on my plate including quitting a great job and looking for a new one.
Ok ok ok here is my problem - my amazing work friends and bridal party would like to throw a bridal shower. I have zero interest in being gifted a bunch of "things" I don't actually want or need. I attempted a registry and I have all the homey things I need. My friends are insistent on a fancy party and me registering for a ton of things for people to choose from. So do I convince them to throw me a giftless party (or dare I say ask for honeymoon cash?)or register for things I don't really have room for or need? | friends want bridal shower with lots of gifts but I'm not really into it. |
t3_3ewbku | relationships | Me [26 M] with my roommate [36 M/F] of 2 years, got a parrot without consulting me because he knew I would say no. | Me and my room mate live in a studio apartment that is completely crammed as it is. My room mate has been nagging me to get a pet for the past 6 months and I have been rejecting the request everytime. So I come today in the morning from an aquaintence's apartment to ready up for work.
Before leaving he asks me to say hi to a bird. I go to the bedroom side and see in the corner a huge ass cage with a 3 month old white parrot in it. I just gave a disapointed OK and left for work because I was running late.
He knew I would say "no" if he asked, so he just bought it anyway before I would have the chance to object which is so low and it is annoying me.
Just to be clear.
* I have no desire to live with pets.
* I don't want animal smells in my apartment.
* I don't want to see food pellets on the ground.
* I don't think it is hygenic to keep a parrot in the same room I sleep in.
* I don't want to wake up because the parrot decided to wistle in the middle of the night or learned to talk
* Most of all I am pissed by the way the roommate got the pet without consulting me.
Important to note:
* The lease to the apartment is under his name. I am not mentioned anywhere so I can't complain to the landlord.
* He makes a ton of money so if it come to me or the bird. The bird will stay and I will leave. He doesn't really need my contribution. He just doesn't like living alone.
* We have been together for 2 years and I know how he operates and I don't want to spend a lot of time to get to know a new roommate.
* I can rent a studio alone but my costs will essentially double if I do which is not ideal.
Am I overreacting? And what should I do now? | Roommate bought a pet without consulting me knowing full well that I would not agree to it. What do I do? |
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