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t3_vt9p9 | AskReddit | I need advice to help my friend get rid of his girlfriend. | Here the story: My friend had met this girl who had a boyfirend at the time, they talked a lot and she told him that she left her boyfriend and needed a place to stay and more or less asked my friend out.
The reason I am asking this is because this girl has a bit of a record. She has had 13 different boyfriends and has cheated on 12 of them. She never told her boyfriend she was living with that she was leaving or that she had feelings for me friend. My friend has told her countless times that he wants to break up and she always disregards what he says and also says things like 'if you leave me ill seriously ruin your life" and things of the sort.. shes a real nut..
I need advice on how to help my friend get rid of this girl.. She has told us jealous boyfriends make her cheat so my friends been acting really jealous and giving her no attention and telling her he wants to break up and that she needs to move out but nothing will work.
Please any suggestions will be really helpful | Friends sociopathic girlfriend (age 22) refuses to break up with him |
t3_4zmw9o | relationships | Friend-zoned. Now, I [23M] just want to learn to be a good friend to my crush [29F]. Tips? | So, I have a huge crush on a classmate/colleague of mine. We're in the same program and in the same company for our co-op terms. We've chatted here and there over the past 2 years, but we only really became friends about 2 months ago.
I've thought about it quite a bit and I feel like she isn't really what I'm looking for right now (even though I want her to be and I'm really into her). However, I really do like her and enjoy chatting with her, so I thought it would be great if I could learn how to be a friend despite my attraction to her.
Unfortunately, two days ago, I was dumb and let it slip that I was interested in her. She just sees me as a friend, which I must admit is disappointing, but maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
She's pretty understanding and as far as I can tell, seems okay with us staying friends. I really do think this could be a good opportunity to make a great friend, but I'm afraid of messing it up. Have any tips to help me be a good friend?
Also, have any good mnemonic devices that could be helpful in this situation? As a start, I was thinking of writing some general rules/guidelines within a notebook to help me remember not to do dumb things. | If I can't date my crush, I'd like to learn to be a good friend. I know it's going to be tough, so I could use some help. |
t3_18ty4t | relationship_advice | [23/f] so is [27/m], he cheated 1 yr ago, I'm not over it | My SO and I go to the same University. So does the woman he cheated on me with. We worked through this last March when it happened. We rebuilt trust, communication. We recognized how afraid of losing each other we are. Thing is, I have another year at this University and I see her in the halls all the time. She even has the same major as me. I can't stop scripting horrible things to say/ do to her, and I feel like seeing her all the time is driving me insane and not allowing me to let this go. Any Advice? | SO cheated, I see the girl all the time. Advice for how to cope. |
t3_3l4aeu | relationships | I [22f] have a question about intimacy concerning my SO [21m]. Why won't he ever I initiate sex with me? | I'm getting frustrated lately making the first move on the guy I have been with for a really long time, I feel sexually exhausted trying to get myself off the way he's comfortable with. We never go outside of the box of what's considered normal even though I've done my best to make it clear I'm sexually experimental. I enjoy things he may be scared to dabble with me in but in a result of conforming to what's natural for him I am not meeting the requirements of arousal and a substantial partnership for myself. I have been exclusive with him for almost a year now and I find it severely discouraging that he never spontaneously touches me or anything of the exciting nature. I am always the one that initiates it and it is draining me sexually when it is all very slow paced. It all begins with kissing and is ever so slow and boring until climax.
What is it that is keeping him from making the first move? | I am getting frustrated sexually because I am really emotionally invested in someone younger than me that is not exciting me in the bedroom. Why is this and how can I talk to him about spicing things up? |
t3_46br3e | personalfinance | I owe ~70x the national debt. Need advice on responding with a debt verification letter on incorrectly printed debt collection letter. | I was recently mailed a letter from a collection agency that has switched the account number and the amount owed, so on the letter itself it looks like I owe an absurd amount (in the quadrillions). I'm wondering how to address this - do I just mail a debt verification letter asking the collections agency to verify the debt? What steps do I take after that? Can I use this in my favor with paying the debt off or disputing it? Considering this is an obvious fuck up on there part, but looks bad for me, I don't want to do anything that will hurt my credit score anymore than it has been affected already.
Some notes/backstory:
I had a CC about 10 years ago I maxed out on a Best Buy card, when I was a dumb 18 year old, buying an Xbox 360/games and a TV (about ~$1600). I wasn't able to keep up with it and it was charged off after all the interest kicked in (it was a "no interest for x months" deal with the card).
I owe roughly $3700 currently, and it's been in collections for obviously a long time now. When I was first contacted about it via phone, roughly 5 years ago, I wasn't aware of my rights and the repercussions of my actions and admitted the debt to be mine, so statute of limitations in my state dictates the debt will not be wiped off my slate until sometime in 2018. | collections switched the account number and debt owed on the letter they sent me and I now look like I owe quadrillions of dollars - what should my next steps be? |
t3_hmxa9 | AskReddit | Reddit, what should I do with my free time this summer? | I'm going to be a senior in college this fall, so this is my last true summer. Although I have two internships, I only have to work each twice a week (which leaves my weekends open). So I pretty much have all of Friday - Monday afternoon free all summer long. The rest of my free time is usually spent with my friends who are just as bad at coming up with things to do as I am. So far we've decided that we'll try to:
- Go to the beach
- Go hiking
- Go camping
- ...drink a lot
- Go golfing
Like I said, we're not very creative and those are pretty stereotypical summer activities (which won't entertain us for three months). Oh, and I'd like to mention that I don't have the budget to travel outside of the New England / New York area. Does Reddit have any suggestions? | What does Reddit do during its free time in the summer? |
t3_1gyh64 | AskReddit | Tip. Your. Waitresses. | Reddit, today was my 25th birthday. I wasn't terribly excited or particularly concerned. But I have an amazing, kickass girlfriend, and an amazing, small group of friends who came through in high fashion and drove my bill, alone, to over $100 at the bar. The waitress/goddess, who we've had the last few times we've gone and tipped quite well, had the total bill to $25.25. To all the unthanked bar waitresses who go about their jobs with asshole men, stupid lines, drunk assholes, skimpy tips, and so on, thank you. You are amazing. Reddit, please, tip the shit out of your late-night bar workers. It will come through for you big time when you need it, but more importantly, it's worthwhile. Again. Thank you, late night bar workers of Reddit. I won't say the name of this bar, but woman at unthankful bar in Washington, you are amazing. Cheers to all. | tip your damn bar workers. It will come back. And if they're good at what they do, they damn well deserve it. |
t3_1uq5o6 | personalfinance | Question : Credit card open under my name (I never knew it exsisted... it has a $0 balance, $1,000 limit - USA) | So I just happened to be checking a few things today and noticed that there is a Capital One card open under my name, that I wasn't aware of.
$0 Balance (thankfully) & a $1,000 Limit.
Note, I DO have an active Capital One card that I DID sign up for.
I use it all the time, & pay it off diligently.
But this other one is a totally different card with a different max, last 4 digits are different, etc.
I never got a physical card for this mysterious account the mail, never get notices/updates via snail mail or any emails reguarding this card... you get the idea.
Since I never signed up for this thing, I want to address it ASAP before someone out there possibly screws me over.
So question is... when I call up Capital One to dispute this, is my credit score going to take a hit if I ask them to close out an account that I never opened/used? | Mysterious Credit Card Account is showing on my Credit Report. Zero balance, but I never opened this. If I call to close this thing out, will my credit score be negatively affected? |
t3_1rw8hh | tifu | TIFU by making making my GF's roommate cry for her charity work | Recently, during the height of Breast Cancer Awareness month (sorry, not technically today), I was over at my girlfriend's house energetically pregaming for a night out. Needless to say, my brain-to-mouth filter wasn't in full working condition.
She was showing me around her house when we ran into one of her roommates, a very sweet girl who happened to be heading up their sorority's ribbon sale to raise money for breast cancer awareness/research. When I noticed a box of said ribbons on her floor, "Sophie" (her roommate) asked if I'd buy one. I happily agreed, but not before making an offhand comment to the effect of "Yes, as long as you're not working with those bastards at the Susan G. Komen Foundation!" You see, I had recently read [this tread detailing what a dishonest organization Susan G. Komen is] Sophie looked confused, so I barreled on, explaining the dismal percentage of proceeds that the company gives to actual research, and how grossly overpaid their executives are. As I neared the end of my smug diatribe, Sophie burst into tears and ran out of the room.
Turns out her mom is pretty high up with Susan G. Komen, and I apparently shattered her glowing perception of the company and her mom's work. In the end, it was probably something she needed to hear, but I sure wished I hadn't made her cry by explaining it so aggressively. | Keeping it real went wrong. |
t3_2j1z4z | tifu | TIFU by not knowing how to google | Up until today, I did not realize that whatever pinned tabs you had in your browser the last time you were searching will open whenever you reopened said browser. Damn you, Google.
My parents need to borrow my laptop to open my computer. 'Hey, cool, just let me close this skype conversation...'
Nope. Do you want to know what I actually was closing?
My browser, with Omegle and a document as pinned tabs. I, as a teenage girl, roleplay. Gay stuffs. Yeah. Its nice.
The first pinned tab is google docs. Not bad, right? WRONG.
I recently created an omegaverse prompt. With an omega in heat.
Fuck me. | My parents opened google chrome on my laptop to find that I write freaky gay porn. |
t3_1ipwm4 | loseit | [NSV] I finally fit into my accidentally shrunken dresses! | My motivation for weight loss isn't as inspirational as most, but it's motivation nonetheless. At the beginning of the summer I bought some really cute (really cheap) summer dresses for, well, summer. I wore them all once, washed them, and dried them way too long and shrunk them all. =( I put one on to see how it fit and it was definitely too small.
I had been meaning to lose weight for the longest time using practical, healthy reasons for motivation ("If I don't change what I'm doing it could become a problem", "I'll feel a lot better if I treated my body right", "Say no to diabetes", ect.), but for some reason, the desire to fit into my newly bought summer dresses is what actually did the trick.
It's been a month and a half of counting calories (~1300 a day, no cheat days) and occasional workouts (~twice or thrice a week) and today I thought I'd try on one of the dresses to see how I've been doing. To my surprise it fit perfectly! Goal achieved!! (Some "fuck yeah, I'm awesome"'s were tossed around). Also, it's by birthday today, so it was like a birthday present to myself!!
I hit my initial goal, but I'm definitely not done yet! Now that I've got the ball rolling, I'm sticking with it. Tomorrow I'll weigh myself and set another goal to hit! | I lost weight because I wanted to wear some dresses I shrank (shrunk?), and now I fit them! |
t3_1p0bzf | relationships | My pregnant [25F] of 9 months wants nothing to do with me [26M] | My girlfriend of about 9 months wants nothing to do with me. We got pregnant about 4 1/2 months ago and we moved in together about 3 weeks ago. About two weeks ago she expressed the fact that she has been miserable and depressed for the last month. We no longer sleep in the same bed. There is no physical contact and we barely speak unless it is about bills or stuff that is needed for the house. She has a two year old daughter that she does not want me to have anything to do with. The person that I am says they are a package deal and I should love her and treat her as my own, but she will not have any of that.
I said some not so nice things early on in the pregnancy and gave her some selfish reasons as to why I wanted to keep the baby. I was afraid she would leave me if we didn't keep it and I was afraid that she wouldn't be able to deal with it and take care of the child she already has. The truth is, is I couldn't deal with it myself killing a tiny himan that I helped create and I have recently told her this. I want nothing more than to have a family and to raise this child together.
She expressed her need for space and I have given it to her. Yet it kills me to not be able to sleep in the same bed or rub her tummy and talk to the baby growing in her belly.
I'm not sure how to fix this fellow redditors...please help. | Pregnant gf no longer wants anything to do with me because of things I said, how do I fix this? |
t3_3irt2i | jobs | Signing paperwork, then bailing? | First, sorry for the wall of text, check for a TDLR at the bottom. For now, we'll say I make $1X amount of dollars at my current job that restricts my schedule (weekend, evening work).
I have been applying for jobs in every sector that I could get my hands on for two years with no avail. I have a background in tech support, writing, and employee/customer training.
I was verbally offered a job from Company A in tech support for on August 17th, followed by a written offer on August 21st. They offered me $1.5X, knowing that I would have to travel up to three times a month for a few days at a time. This wrecks a different part of my schedule, but the money would be nice. I had until August 27th to accept.
In the interim, I had phone interviews as a writer with Company B and Company C. Both were taking their time and then asked for a final onsite interview the day before I needed to accept my offer. I felt I bombed Company C, but nailed Company B.
Yesterday, I submitted Company A's written offer. They would have pulled it otherwise. This morning, Company C calls me and offers me a position at $2.2X. That's right, the company I bombed. Company B will get back to me next week, likely offering around $1.8X-$2X.
I...am not sure how to proceed. Here are my priorities:
Company B: Best environment, best schedule, lowest stress level. Good pay (most likely). No offer yet.
Company C: Stressful environment, best pay, contract-to-hire, great resume fodder.
Company A: Least money, stressful environment, and it's tech support, which I'm burned out on.
I would love to have an offer from Company B so I could tell everyone else to go away. But I don't yet. Because I signed with Company A, can I bail on them without any legal repercussions? I know it will make me look bad with them, but I don't care about their industry and only applied on a whim. The other two jobs I sought out and genuinely find interesting. | Signed a job offer out of necessity. Got a much, much better offer. I want to back out of the first offer, but there's still a third that I'm waiting on that I REALLY want. Need help getting what I've worked for and making sure I don't run into a legal problem. |
t3_16fxgp | BreakUps | Roommates are her Friends | My girlfriend (21f) and I (22m) broke up about a 2 months ago after 1.5 years. When she broke up with me I told her that I needed my space and that I didn't want her coming over to the house I live in. I tell my roommates that I need my personal space and that I can't have her over here while I am home.
Yesterday, she shows up to pick up a package she had delivered to our house and to go eat with my roommates. I tell her to stop having mail delivered to our house (I should have told the USPS guy to return to sender). This exchange broke 4 weeks of NC. My roommates and her go out to eat and I return to doing my chores and errands.
|
I get a call from my roommate later that night and he says that they are bringing my ex back to the house. I tell him no. He tells me yes and I tell him to go to her place. They ignore this and show up at my door.
They are laughing and hanging out and it drives me nuts to have her over here. I don't say anything more to them and I have been contemplating what I need to do next. I want to feel comfortable in my home. I know they are friends but I don't think it is okay for them to do hang out at my place. I wouldn't go to her place to hang out with mutual friends.
I feel very disrespected and have felt a lack of respect in any of my dealings with my ex after we broke up. I have been civil in my dealings and in return I am treated as a door mat. What can I do? | Roommates bring my ex over to the house even though they all have been told not to do so. My ex knows this as well. |
t3_xqpb3 | relationships | I lied to my girlfriend about my religious aspirations. How can I fix this? | I'm a 23 year old male, my girlfriend is a 21 year old female.
We've been dating for almost 8 months.
We are both religious Jews.
Without getting into any religious debates, one of the things that she wanted in a guy was someone who would go to synagogue every day to pray. When we first started dating I told her that I planned on doing this every day.
I lied. Not because I wanted to hurt her. At the time I was really thinking about going every day but at this stage in my life I've decided I don't want to go every day. I really liked her, so I said "yes, I plan on going."
A lot of the time she asks me if I went in the morning and I'd say "yeah yeah I went"- even though I didn't. Just so she wouldn't get mad at me.
I do go every Sabbath and I try my best to pray at home in the mornings, but she was insistant on saying that she wanted a guy who would go every day.
I love her so much and I think telling her that I don't do it every day and don't plan on it will make her break up with me.
What do I do?
I don't want to tell her that I lied. And I don't want to lose her.
(And I don't want to go to synagogue every day...) | My girlfriend wants me to go to Synagogue everyday and I told her I do and I will, even though I don't plan on ever going. |
t3_43vxba | jobs | Offered an interview but it's delayed while they re-advertise... | Hey, would like to get some constructive perspectives on my situation.
I'm a trainee journalist looking for my first staff role and I've applied for a role in my city that is looking for graduates. It'd be a great role to get me into the specific branch of the industry that I want to get in to. It's also in a city where journalism jobs are quite rare.
They had a huge number of applicants, which was cut down to 10. Due to this number, they said that the remaining shortlist would have to contribute (quite a large) article and then those successful would get an interview. I made the list, and sent away the article. I was then told that I would be notified of the possibility of an interview the following week.
I have now received an email stating that they liked my article and want to invite me for an interview, but the interviews are delayed for a month or so while they re-advertise. They said they would be in touch in a few weeks.
I've seen other examples online where re-advertising has happened after people have even gone for an interview, and without them being notified. That's seems to be a bad sign, but those are slightly different situations to mine.
My theory is that they only received a couple usable articles from the shortlist and they feel like they don't have enough candidates. However, that may be too optimistic. Either way it's making me a little anxious.
Anyone have any thoughts??? | After a written job assessment, I've been offered an interview but it's delayed while they re-advertise. I'm confused as to its potential meaning. |
t3_1w731e | relationships | Me [18M] with my sick girlfriend [18F] need a gift idea for visiting her in the hospital | I'll keep this as short as possible, just need a few ideas and then I'll delete this. My girlfriend of almost a year went to the ER last night due to some complications with a genetic kidney disease she has, and I'm going to visit her in a little bit and I want to bring something. We have our fair share of inside jokes, and I felt at first like something relating to one of those would be the best, but then I decided that this was the time to be one of those generic, cutesy boyfriends and bring her something like food/flowers. The only issue is that her diet's constricted to basically water at this point, and she's never really liked flowers. What's something that I could bring to just make her a little bit happier? | need a small gift for girlfriend that doesn't like flowers and can't eat food. |
t3_4srmp5 | legaladvice | Auto insurance injury claim, 3 months past the 2-year limitation date | (Optional background: I'm a University student, never had any issues with the law or had to work with lawyers – understanding a lot of things I wish I knew then...)
Was in a car accident 2 years and 3 months ago when I was 19 years old, in Alberta, Canada (you have 2 years to file a claim generally). Was not at fault, my car had pretty extensive repairs, and I had "minor whiplash injuries" according to the assessment I had by a physiotherapist. My insurance gave me 8 therapy treatments, and of course fixed my car.
My pain hasn't gone away, but I was using group benefits for physio/massage and occasionally had them work on the affected area of my neck.
Learned recently I should have been entitled to some other things. I always had thought insurance was there to cover your medical bills and fix your car. I never knew it was for anything else.
Today when I called the insurance company, the adjustor said there was nothing that could be done, but that someone should have offered me a settlement in the 2-year period. Except I never got one, or an offer of one. I also should have been able to claim additional treatments from the at-fault parties insurance.
So I'm stuck with an ongoing health issue, and I'm two months past the filing date. Is there any hope?
*One caveat: My insurance is the same co. as the other drivers. | Got hit by someone 2 years, 3 months ago, whiplash injury. Claim limit is 2 years in Alberta. Never got compensated or offered to by anyone beyond 8 treatments. I'm a (21 year-old, now slightly smarter) idiot for not following up, but here I am now. Is there anything that can be done? |
t3_tlcc8 | dating_advice | Went out with a girl I knew for awhile and really hit it off but don't want to be in a relationship. How do approach this gently? btw she is my almost-next-door neighbor. | 24/M here, and the girl is 23.
I know this girl through a close friend of mine. we knew each other for about 4 years but did not actually hang out until this week. she is my neighbor. and when I say this, I mean she lives 20ft away from me and we both live with our respective families.
This all happened this week and on our 2nd "date" we went to the beach and had a few beers. She made the first move and kissed me and by the end of the day we totally had this "couple vibe", which I wasn't too comfortable with but rather than make everything awkward I went along with it. Basically I didn't make one single move and she did all the work throughout the whole day.
All in all, I feel like this all happened too fast as this was only the 2nd time hanging out with her, and I definitely am not decisive enough at this point to be with her.
I don't want to lead her on and definitely don't want to keep seeing her if she thinks this is gonna be a long-term relationship. I'm chasing other girls and don't want this turning into an unfaithful relationship.
By the way, this girl lives about 20 ft away from me (it's a big townhouse, but in a different building) so this might become awkward running into her after I tell her how I feel.
How should I approach this Reddit? | I really hit it off with my almost-next-door-neighbor, we kiss and cuddle (she made all the first moves, I did not lift a finger, but went along with it and did not hesitate) |
t3_11nurc | relationships | Me (27f) and boyfriend (28m) on verge of breaking up. HELP | My boyfriend and I have been going out for a little over two years. We have a great relationship and love each other a lot. We get along and it has been mostly great. However, he has had ongoing social anxiety that we have tried to deal with by ourselves and with a professional. I thought he was getting better.
This week my best friend is getting married. I am a bridesmaid. My boyfriend knows about this and has been aware of it for quite a while. He did mention to the therapist that he was concerned that he was going to be sitting at another table all alone. I have tried to reassure him that it will be okay and will only be for part of the night. The rest of the time we will be together. He has started to dig his heels in this week and fight with me about going to this wedding. He doesn't think I am considering his feelings, but I think I have. I am also not willing to let him skip the wedding because I want him there as my partner and for support. Even though he has social anxiety, my therapist explained to him that you do sometimes have to compromise in a relationship. Other than talking to my therapist grudgingly he has not tried to get any other help. He now does go out with me on occasion but he does a lot of emotional blackmail. I love him and don't want to break up but how can we reconcile this situation? He was also so upset he told me he wants us to talk about our relationship or even break up after the wedding. His friend mentioned to him that his girlfriend isn't going to a wedding so my boyfriend thinks I'm being a terrible person for asking him to come to my friends wedding. I really don't want to lose him but at the same time, I will not back down. I deserve a boyfriend who will eat dinner at a fucking wedding with or without me. What do I do, or is this a lost cause? Man re-reading this, it sounds so pathetic. | my boyfriend and I have a great relationship (ALMOST perfect!) except for his reluctance to be in social situations because of his anxiety. (Though he is still in denial about this). He doesn't think I'm considering his feelings, and I think I deserve to have my serious boyfriend of two years with me at my best friends wedding. I am not using a throwaway because fuck why should I? He'll just look for it anyways. |
t3_kjjlj | AskReddit | Y U DO THIS WOMEN? | Last week I was flying back home and ended up in the middle seat. When I sat down this lady walks by and sits next to me. Worth mentioning is that she had one of the biggest, fattest wedding rings I have seen probably ever. First thing she does is buckles herself then pushes up the divider thing between us, turns to me and says like this is the first time she is flying by herself and she is not uptight so if I wanted to I can lean on her and all she will do is just lean back.
When we were going up in the air she started holding on to my arm pretty tight and rubbing it..that continued pretty much every time there was any sort of turbulence. One time she said "I must freak you out by doing this", then she put her left hand on my leg and held on to it. I said "oh no it's fine". I really didn't know what else to say. Honestly I started liking it and actually got a semi in my jeans which I think she saw.
This continued on until the plane landed at which point she started acting like I was someone she saw for the first time, grabbed her bags and walked off without saying anything.
Why do women do stuff like this reddit!!?? | Lady was all over me during plane flight, then acted like I don't exist as soon as plane landed. Why do women do this stuff? |
t3_4upv5n | dating_advice | I [21 F] have a crush on my friend [21 M] and I have no idea what I'm doing | After knowing him for almost 3 years now, I never really thought of him in any romantic way until recently (almost a month ago). He waited almost 2 hours with me while I had to wait to meet up with my friends visiting me. I thought it was a really kind gesture and it was fun to talk to him.
I've never had a boyfriend but I'm the kind to fall for someone hard and fall for them quickly and easily.
We message each other everyday about random things, sometimes teasing each other. When we are in the same classes, we kind of make fun of each other, laugh a lot etc.
I went to South Korea last week which meant being away from classes. I kind of gave myself this ultimatum that if I still had feelings for him after a whole week of not seeing him, I'd tell him so but I chickened out because of my utter fear of rejection.
The semester at my university just ended so I won't be seeing him since we're both going back to our home countries during the summer break.
While I've never had a boyfriend, I've also never had a male in my life that would talk to me this much. I feel totally out of my league.
Both of us are flying out of Tokyo next week on the same day. I don't know what time his flight is or which airport he's leaving from. Is it too much/Do I sound so clingy if I ask him what time his flight is on the off chance we could meet at the airport or go there together? :/ | a boy is talking to me and I've grown to like him. Is he just being nice and friendly? Am I overthinking on what his niceness actually is? Should I say that I do like him or should I just leave it? |
t3_41qgaw | tifu | TIFU by coming out as an atheist | So this happened about 10 minutes ago. After about 16 years being raised as a traditional christian (going to church, reading the bible, etc) i decided that i had enough. So today i decided to tell my mother that i'm an atheist, and that is where the fuck up began. She broke down into tears, said i'm no longer allowed to celebrate Christmas, and stormed out of the room and is now locked in her bedroom. I can hear her on the phone with my grandmother talking about how all she ever wanted was to raise her kids with a strong connection of god. | Im no longer welcome at Christmas, and ruined my moms hopes and dreams. |
t3_30b0pw | relationships | Do you never get over some exes? | I turn 30 soon. I broke up with my ex when I was 23. It was messy.
After 4 years of pining for her we got back together again in 2013 for two months. She found a new boyfriend a week after we broke up with who she has been with since.
The thing is, since 2009 I have thought about this girl every day. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. for over 6 years... I went through deep, dark depression in the early days to pretty much fine now but I get pretty down when I think about it, which is a lot.
Anyway, is this normal? I just want to be free. I've even tried hypnosis to get over it and I'm the most skeptical bastard on earth haha. Has anyone else experienced this? I'm pretty much living with a residual obsession. | been 7 years, still think about my ex every day. |
t3_3c0l8h | tifu | TIFU by apologizing to my ex-manager | I'm on mobile right now so please excuse any typos or grammatical errors that I may miss.
Anyway, just a relatively quick fuck up, but still makes me feel like shit.
So I was working at a certain retail store chain for some time. I left there earlier this year for reasons that won't be named to look for another job. After about four months of being out of a job, I conceded and went back. Mind you I knew the store manager who worked at both these stores, and after hearing my situation decided to bring me back on after pulling some strings for me.
Well, not even after a month of being there, the stresses of working there, combined with declining mental health, I suddenly left again. During this time, I've been getting my shit together and I also happened to obtain another job. After getting the green light with this new job I turned in my notice at the old job. Just completely out of the blue without consulting my old manager or anyone else in the chain of command there. So after being told by someone close that my ex-manager was upset with my actions, I felt bad and decided to go apologize today since I realized the "error of my ways".
I told him I fucked up and jumped the gun a little early without consulting with him and appreciating all he did for me. Unfortunately, he wasn't having any of that and said he felt disrespected and shit on and that he basically doesn't want to see me again. So yeah, that's about it. | Went to apologize to my ex-manager for being a dick and basically got what I deserved. |
t3_2ubwy2 | relationships | Me 23 F with my Husband 26 M, 7 years, unwanted foreplay | I'm 6 weeks pregnant with our second child. Ever since I had our first, my libido is not the same as it used to be, but my husband has been infinitely patient and understanding. Last week was the first time we had sex since we conceived on Jan 1.
Baby was taking a nap and we were cuddling on the couch. I noticed that husband's caresses and kisses were getting more and more amorous, but I wasn't into it, so I said, "You're being too sexy, I don't like it." He said sorry and I went on to explain that I wouldn't mind having sex, but that the house was messy and was distracting me.
We were talking about the logistics of where in the house we could have sex and he started getting touchy-feely again, which set me off. He immediately apologized and said he didn't read my signs right. I forgave him and don't think that he was trying to force anything on purpose. We ended up having sex and it was nice.
The thing is, I have been through sexual abuse my whole life and I can't get over this. It nags at me every day and I don't feel comfortable being intimate with him right now. I'm hesitant to bring it up with him because he would feel bad and get mopey, and really I don't think it would make a difference with how I'm feeling.
I guess I just wanted to vent. Any advice would be appreciated nonetheless. | Husband accidentally molested me, sort of. |
t3_3468x8 | relationships | Me [29 M] with my date [25 F] just met, going on first date in a long time, advice? | I'm a loner, haven't dated much at all in the past 10 years but I'm quite friendly and not totally socially inept. My friend invited me out over the weekend and introduced me to a single friend of hers. She was extremely nice and attractive and we ended up exchanging numbers. We've been texting for a couple of days now, and we plan to hang out this weekend by going to a park and walking some trails.
I want to let her know that I'm interested and make a bit of an impression because she's leaving for 1 month after our first date. But I don't want to come on too strong and scare her away either. Any general tips on what I should go for or avoid? Its worth noting that she is pretty religious so I don't want to take things too far, she seems a bit conservative and a little inexperienced. | Advice on first date! |
t3_2dxxpq | relationships | Me [22 M] with my gf [21 f] of 4.5 years, just broke up, help occupying my time | I dont want to go in too much detail on our breakup. It was mostly mutual, getting back together is a real possibility in a few months and we still want to be friends.
Now, I am having trouble thinking of ways to occupy myself in the next couple weeks and months because we spend so much time communicating or being together that I really forgot what it is like to be single. I am avoiding video games and too much netflix because those indirectly brought me to this cituation. So Im looking for activities that engage me and bring me away from thinking about her 24/7 while being relatively productive. This hurts guys and i want to get through this week. | Wanting help finding productive activities to take my mind off of the breakup and readjusting to being single |
t3_nkhrd | AskReddit | What's your best Pissed Myself story Reddit? Here's mine from last night. | Alright. I still haven't recovered mentally from this so please bear with my poor writing for a bit.
I have a bad habit of visiting my ex at work as she manages a bar a block away from my apartment. Long story short, my room mate, our friend and I accidentally crash my ex's work Christmas party, I got out of my mind hammered like a jackass, got in a heated argument with some dumb cunt server about Nunavut (I know), drunkenly wobblegirled the one block to my house, stripped naked, opened reddit on my laptop, attempted to eat a cupcake and passed the fuck out.
Fast forward to 4am, I wake up and everything within a 5 foot radius from my cock is soaking in piss. My idiot dick had done a firehose routine on my bedroom, my macbook being the closest thing to my cock had been pressure washed by [Smiling Jerry's] and cheap beer. In my drunken stupor I can remember seeing a little puddle on each and every key on the keyboard. I vaguely remember showering and then passing back out in my pissfilled bed.
I woke up in time for work and remembered that I am a graphic designer and that this is a big fucking problem. Tried frantically to turn my laptop on which I realized immediately after that I shouldn't do, and nothing. Put it on its side in front of the radiator and went to work where I told the guys and we had a laugh. Word got out to my boss and for the rest of the day he was reminding me to not piss on any of the work machines. Came home and still nothing. Almost 5 Gb of client files, gone. All the original files for my portfolio, gone (blah blah shoulda backed it up I'm a gentlemans fucking wank tool idiot). All my licensed software, gone. (all my pirated software, gone) All my shitty porn, gone. I'm trying to stay positive. | Powerhosed my laptop from point blank while I was passed out, client folders, software, my life, gone. |
t3_2r1i95 | relationships | I(34f) hardly ever have sex with my boyfriend(36m) because he never feels like it. | We have been together for 10 years and we have a great friendship and I know for a fact he isn't cheating. I trust him completely. I want to have sex but whenever I try to initiate it he shys away from me like he doesn't feel comfortable most times. Then other times he says he wants to but never follows through and then says he's tired and goes to sleep. We can go up to a few months without me bringing it up because I don't want him to feel ashamed or bad because it seems like he wants to but isn't able. How can I talk to him about seeing a doctor without hurting his feelings. I'm not asking for him to bang me every night but intimacy is important to me and I've given him long enough (this has been like this for years now) and I just want to feel wanted. He says I'm beautiful everyday and how lucky he is but only seems to want to be handsy with me when we are in public? He's gained a bit of weight but I don't care I
Love him the same. Although if he were more fit I don't think he would be as shy.. | my boyfriend will go months without wanting sex and it's driving me up the wall. |
t3_ebos9 | relationship_advice | Girl of my dreams, but I'm still pretty fucked up. | Hey guys,
Maybe you can help me out here, I'm really not sure what to do. This all starts about a year and a half ago. Pretty much I went into super depressed mode after my last relationship went bad and I ended up moving to a new state alone for grad school and drank a lot to self-medicate. At some point, some of my friends got my into the electronic music/rave scene (it's really the only music scene we have around here). It was pretty great, I made a lot of friends and went to a lot of shows. Unfortunately, with that territory comes the drug use. For about a year, I took ecstasy on average once every two weeks or so, and did a good amount of cocaine and acid as well. Needless to say, I developed some seriously bad anxiety and other mental issues as my serotonin levels were pretty severely depleted and my brain chemistry pretty out of whack. Anyway, I decided I needed to stop doing this to myself. I went to my doctor and he put me on an SSRI to get things back to normal. I must say, I do feel 100x better after taking it for a few months and am definitely on my way to being normal again.
This is when she came in. I met the most amazing girl ever. She's beautiful, like way more attractive than any girl I could hope to get. We have everything in common from music to movies to personalities. We've only started recently dating, but she keeps telling me how awesome I am and how she always can't wait to hang out with me again. She's awesome. Unfortunately, the SSRI that I'm on completely kills my sex drive. It's terrible. It's like, I want to have sex but it's very difficult. I want to stay on my meds because they are definitely helping, but I'm afraid that I'll fuck up everything with this girl because of the sex drive thing. What do I do? | Took a lot of drugs, got really fucked up, on meds to help, meet girl of my dreams, meds kill sex drive. What do? |
t3_364k0y | relationships | Me [24 M] with my gf [22 F] short relationship , she goes on vacation with ?? | gf goes on trip with family member but I suspect that she is there with ex lover of few years. A extraordinary month love blossoms but lies about the trip persist. During the trip and after much denial of said relative she admits to be there with the ex. The trip has been planned for a long time and would cost a fortune to cancel . After she admitted who she was actually there with I ask if anything sexual has happened and she says no.
If she has been lying to me about the entire thing how could I believe that she is being truthful about sexual encounters? I really do love this girl and I'm getting mixed feedback from family and friends. | what should I do, trust that she was on a trip with an ex and had no sexual encounters after lying about the whole ordeal and give her a second chance? Or drop her from my life completely. Help Me! |
t3_3nj1ze | pettyrevenge | Sorry, didn't know you were in a rush | At the supermarket today shopping, as you do, and it had gotten a bit busy at the registers. I joined one of the lines but didnt have to wait long as a cashier opened up a new line and flagged me over. However this old bat came swooping in to try and get in first. The cashier ignored her and waved me through and went to stand behind the register. I pushed my trolley to the belt but this bitch is blocking me from loading from the front of the belt. I awkwardly load it from the end and have to walk around her to go to the register.
So instead of being efficient and putting my bags in my trolley as they came I let them all build up. I made sure to look in my wallet and my bag for my rewards card (left it at home, woops haha), and made a show of putting my change away properly, then taking my stuff and very slowly walking away 'reading the receipt'. Hope you miss those 2 minutes of your life, bitch. | lady tried to cut in front so I went slow |
t3_npkqp | AskReddit | What horrible/embarrassing story about you does your family insist on rehashing every holiday? | My family loves to rehash the story of the time I was beaten up through the window of my car when I was a teenager.
To make a long story short, I was trying to merge into the left lane to make a u-turn before a traffic light and a corolla came it of my blind spot and I almost hit them. I didn't think much about it but the driver was apparently very road raged. I was waiting at the light for my signal and the next thing I knew, I was being repeatedly punched in the face by the guy who had been driving the corolla. He was yelling at me to get out the car and leaning way inside my driver's side window. It's a damn good thing I didn't get out of the car. Being scrawny but flexible, I managed to get my legs between me and my attacker and pushed him back out the window, catching him in the nose. He stood up dumbfounded, bleeding fro his nose, and ran back to his car. At this point I wheeled my car around (traffic signals be damned at this point) and tried to get a look at the corolla's plates. The corolla sped off fast and I never got the plate number. I called the cops and made a report, but there was nothing they could do.
My family finds this story hilarious and they insist on me telling it every year. To be honest, the whole experience was kind of traumatising, but I get to relive it every year. | I was the victim of assault but my family finds this story hilarious and makes me resell the story over the holidays every year. |
t3_1msf4q | relationships | I(f24) am upset at well just about everyone but mostly my mom (f47) | I think a lot of my issues stem from when I was first diagnosed with Ovarian cancer in February of this year, but I feel like today is just extra upsetting. I found out earlier today that I was going to be having my last chemo as of Monday. Of course this is exciting news, but since I was already having a pretty bad day, I'm having some mixed emotions which as resulted in me being a huge cry baby, and I don't seem to be feeling as good about the situation as I should be.
I call my mom to tell her what my Dr told me. Which was that there was currently no detectable cancer on the ct scan and Monday would be my last round of chemo. Well I guess I just didn't get the reaction I was hoping for, I mean she was very happy and she cried and called all my aunts and uncles, but like that was it.
I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I am getting nothing. My mom decided this morning they were going to go to Duluth (which is about a four hour drive from where we live), and I was joking before my appointments they should take me with them, and stuff. But now that I have this news I am feeling sort of abandoned. They are still going on this trip, and I just feel like, where is my celebration? Where is my dinner or something.
My fiance is at work, which means I am just sitting at home crying. I just feel like I don't matter now that I am no longer the sick kid. | I am no longer the sick kid, and I feel like I don't matter anymore. Plus I'm a crybaby and wanted a party/dinner something in my honour. |
t3_4rppra | relationships | Wondering if I should reach out to my (34F) father (60s?) | So long story short I've never met my father. He and my mom got pregnant when they were in college. She moved home to finish school and have me, he went on with his life. He did pay child support all while I was growing up.
According to my mom, he wanted to leave the decision up to me whether or not to contact him. I've never had a burning desire to, so up until now I never even thought much about it.
But I got curious one day last week and looked him up on Facebook. I easily found him, my stepmom, and their two kids. Now I'm just confused. Do I want to reach out? I mean, no one is getting any younger and I wonder if I won't look back in 20 years and wish I had.
My husband supports me no matter what I decide, and I can't talk to my mom about it (she seems to think that he and I can have a normal relationship while I figure it'll be more Christmas cards and maybe dinner when they're in town).
I just don't know what to do and am looking for an outside perspective. | never met my father. Found him on Facebook. Wrestling with whether or not to contact him. |
t3_2ugu5p | relationships | Boyfriend (24/m) and me (22/f) have been together for 2 years. Not sure who is causing problems: my emotional instability or his lack of effort? | My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. I love him very much and I know he loves me but often I feel like I never knows how he's feeling and he's not very good at showing me how he feels. Also, I'm very much of a talker and he isn't, and I feel like sometimes we have nothing to talk about. Is this bad? Also, he isn't very romantic and I feel like i just need to know he likes me more. I also have anxiety and emotional mood swings and I think I push my emotions on him and blame him for my discontent. Im unsure If my dissatisfaction is from him or just because I'm emotionally unstable. I don't want to hurt him but I don't want to be in a relationship that doesn't satisfy my needs. I feel like I'm either really happy with him or dissatisfied. Hes such a sweet guy and Ive never met anyone like him before, I don't want to give up on someone so good.Would I not have feelings of doubt if I really loved him. If we were meant to be would we be able to talk all the time and always appreciate each other? | I just don't know whats making me sad, my instability or am I just dissastified with where I am. |
t3_43tte0 | relationships | I [22 M] can't resist feeling upset about my girlfriend [22 F] being so close with other guys. | My girlfriend of half a year has a lot of guy friends - some of which she's very close to - which shouldn't really upset me at all because I trust her.
But no matter how much I rationalise it and really try to not feel upset by it - it always really gets to me when she spends heaps of time with other guys.
It's not that I'm being super clingy and want all of her attention all of the time, I think it's just the nature of what she does with other guys that gets to me - even though, once again, it shouldn't.
I mean, today she took one of her best guy friends with her to see some of her family. I was in class and so she knew I couldn't come, but... that still feels weird. She always goes out to get coffee/brunch with other guys she knows, or even just drives to a quiet beach with them.
Now I've been resisting write about this here for a while because I know I'm being unreasonable, but the whole taking guy friend to see family thing has me feeling really down and I just want to source from other people's experience:
1/ Should I tell her how uncomfortable it makes me feel?
2/ Should I just continue to suck it up.
What do you think would be healthiest for our relationship? Because I really, really like her and I think she feels the same and I don't want to stuff anything up. | Girlfriend spends a lot of time with other guy friends, and even though I know its stupid to feel upset about it, I can't help feeling upset. |
t3_28zklr | relationships | Me [30 M] with my 21 [F] 2 mo. relationship, need advice on how to deal with my mistake | I'm in the beginning stages of a new relationship and I think I may have fucked up.
Last night we were talking about things that bother each other, and she noted to me that she has minor jealousy issues (nothing that I thought was offputting). Well, tonight, and to note, the very next night after our conversation, I did the very thing that bothers her.
She noted the coincidence as if I deliberately did it to hurt her, but I did no such thing. It was indeed pure coincidence. As a result she didn't want to talk to me tonight and said it wasn't me and she just wanted time to herself.
The male aspect of me says to just leave it alone, I've already apologized and that's all I can do. I don't want to pressure her into talking about it if she doesn't want to, as I usually believe people should mean what they say, but I reckon that not everyone's going to be a great communicator all the time. My gut instinct is to leave her alone today or until she decides to come talk to me but wanted to hear the input of others. | Gf and I talked about things that bother her. The next day, I did the very thing that bothered her. She didn't want to talk about it. Do I press the issue to talk about it or leave it alone? |
t3_1cvlmz | relationships | 27m near divorce with 25f over boring life. | Ive been married for 6 years. We have a 7 year old. Last Friday I got drunk and came to the realization that I just couldnt stand to be with her anymore. She cares nothing about things I feel passionate about, shes completely oblivious to current events, we have no common ground to stand on and generally stick to talking about family (ie: what her mom did the other day). I have talked to her about the many issues I have with the relationship and she says thats its all in my head and that im projecting these issues, that all I want is to play with new pussy, and she refuses to hear any of it. Ive only been with one other girl in my life. I admit this has put stain on our marriage and I have pressured her and set up threesomes with males and females to livin up what I consider to be a deadbedroom. No matter what I do I cant get her to see that we need to split. When we are together I feel alone I cant talk to her about any of the things I like and find interesting and she doesnt talk to me about anything other than BS about co-workers and family members. What can I do to get her to see that we need to move on. | the sex is lame, the conversation boring, how can I help her see we need a divorce |
t3_4dyya9 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my gf [20 F] of a year and a quarter, how to make her more open to sexting | My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and a quarter now, and everything is perfect. We have fun together, can talk for ages without realising and just generally enjoy each others company, plus a good sex life when we get the chance. We're both in university, and don't get much time to ourselves, but when we do the sex is great, but when we're apart she makes no effort. It's rare we get to be intimate and she won't even make an effort to try this.
To preface the above, I've tried initiating stuff, I've tried bringing it up to her and she agrees and says it would be fun to do, but anytime I try she brushes it off. We did it once, and it was great, we both agreed we enjoyed it, so why not again? Any ideas? | Girlfriend won't give sexting a try despite it being one of the few ways to be "intimate" together. |
t3_4f39if | relationships | How should I [23 M] go about reneging on a job offer? | I'm a graduating senior this semester, and as of one week ago today, I had no job offers, a big stack of rejections, and one active application (with Company B). Everything changed this week, when:
Sunday- Company A contacts me about a potential opening. I respond back immediately and schedule an interview for later in the week
Monday- Company B offers me the position I had previously applied for
Tuesday- Looking at my pile of rejections, I don't expect to receive an offer from Company A, and so decide to accept the sure thing rather than wait and see, so I accept Company B's offer by phone
Wednesday- Interview with Company A despite previously accepting Company B's offer, mostly for interview experience and information gathering
Friday- Company A offers me the position I interviewed for
The position with Company A is much better for me than Company B (better location, better pay, more opportunity for growth within the company, better benefits). I want to accept their offer, but obviously that would require letting Company B know that I can no longer accept their offer. I plan to make this call ASAP (unfortunately their office is closed on the weekend) as a professional courtesy, and the start date wouldn't have been until mid-May. Is it as bad as I'm making it out to be? Is there a way to approach this conversation without burning professional bridges? Is there a precedent for recent college graduates reneging after accepting a job offer? | Two job offers, accepted one, changed my mind, what do |
t3_1e5gbv | relationships | My [17m] girlfriend [17f] felt the need to tell me that she doesn't want to make out all the time | My girlfriend of a little over a month didn't want to come over today because she "[doesn't] want to make out all the time." It is not as if that is all we do; we play cards, do homework, go out for dinner, and just hang out a lot. Often after these things we do make out, however. I don't get why she feels that way, but I respect her feelings and don't want to push her.
We are both genuinely intellectually, emotionally, and sexually attracted to each other, and I don't see a problem, but when we start kissing like that, she makes excuses about having to go home. Part of my veracity is that she turns me on very easily, and I like to act on that, but another is that I love showing her affection. I know that I can kiss her and hold her, but that doesn't carry the same "poignancy."
Are there other ways to passionately show her affection besides a simple kiss that isn't making out? Should I just get over being urgent? | My girlfriend doesn't want to make out so much, but I still want to show her passion and affection. |
t3_3xjba4 | Advice | Is pride worth this? | Hey guys. I am completely mentally drained and just need some outside input on my situation. Me and my fiance are having the most terrible luck. He was working in the oil field in North Dakota and unfortunately got laid off. We were forced to relocate to a small farm that hasn't been lived on in over a decade. The first week we were here things were fine. We chopped enough wood to get us through the winter. (we are in Minnesota and our source of heat is a wood stove) We have to buy water for drinking and cooking. One night after a shower, laying in bed I hear a gurgling sound and get up to inspect. There is raw sewage literally spewing from every drain, every toilet, leaking through the floor, filling the basement. We have to replace the septic pump. We are drowning in bills and have been taking showers at truck stops once every week or two. We have been stripped of our dignity. We are literally shitting in buckets and burning the waste. We have been cleaning the aftermath for a month, while still living here. I have never felt so defeated. I have debated starting a gofundme but I have NEVER asked for help with anything. We have always been stable and work hard for everything. Unfortunately this is something we can't obtain on our own. Should I swallow my pride and ask for help? | cannot earn enough money to replace septic pump, living in flith, one truck stop shower every week or two, shitting in buckets, to swallow pride and ask for help or continue to try my hardest and get nowhere? |
t3_1e1xzl | relationships | How do I (21 M) tell my parents that my girlfriend (27 F) of two years has a 9 year old child? | My parents currently believe my girlfriend's daughter is her younger sister (my girlfriend was too scared to tell them so we lied). I have known since the beginning that my girlfriend had a child under unfortunate circumstances with an ex-bf when she was 18; she decided to keep it and I really respect her for going through that. The child was adopted by her parents so that my girlfriend could go through school, so she's not financially responsible for the child. I have not yet told my parents about this. They are bound to find out soon one way or another, since we are both graduating this weekend and our families are getting together. My family is extremely liberal so I think they will be okay with it, but I would still like them to be happy for my girlfriend and I. Any advice on what to say and how to bring this up? | Girlfriend has a child, child lives with GF and her parents, I haven't told my parents (they think the child is her younger sister), how should I tell them? |
t3_2n7966 | relationships | I (21/M) broke my bestfriend's (19/F) heart, and I need to fix it. (Together 2 years) | I went out with my bestfriend for two years, and it was easily the best time of my life. Unfortunately, I wasn't always the nicest person to her. I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression about halfway through our time together, and I took my pain and frustration out on her a lot. In short, I was an awful person to the one that literally gave me her all, and was nothing but supportive and just all-around wonderful to me. She told me that we needed to break up back at the end of January, and although it killed me, I knew that it was for the best. At once, I set about bettering myself as a person, improving and completely reinventing myself. She has shown signs of wanting to be friends, including as recently as September when she told me that she wanted to be my friend. However, when we spoke a few weeks ago, she took it off of the table, telling me how much I'd hurt her and so on. I genuinely fucked up, and I know it. She has every right to be angry at me, and I accept it. I also still believe that she does want to be friends, but is still much too hurt to follow through at this point. I need my bestfriend back; I miss talking and being friends. How can I regain her trust and be forgiven? | I was selfish and cruel because I was severely depressed and it cost me a great friendship/relationship. I have since improved and reflected and now understand everything that I have done. I want the friendship back. How can I regain her trust? |
t3_2zdqec | relationships | Me [17 M] with my friend's friend [17 F], I'm not sure if she's dropping hints or not | Throwaway because my friends use reddit. Also excuse me for any grammatical errors, I'm not a native speaker.
I don't have insecurity issues, but I'm not the kind of guy who talks more with girls than guys either. I've had a girlfriend before, if that would matter.
For the past few months, I spent most of my time during my school's breaks at the library with a friend and two of his friends. Browsing Reddit, doing homework, discussing our hobbies (been getting into martial arts recently, definitely suggest trying something out if there's something in your area). One of his friends is a girl and we don't really talk to eachother. We didn't, I should say. I mainly sat there browsing Reddit and talking with that one friend. I only see the girl at the library and at my locker (hers is next to mine).
Last week on Thursday she randomly complimented my beard (something along the lines of "Hey, your beard looks good. Uh, your locker's next to mine and I see you very often.") I thanked her and I was kind of surprised because I don't get compliments from one person that often. What I mean by that is that people generally do say something to me when I do something with my hair (I recommend long hair just as much as martial arts, haha).
From that day onwards, she's always smiling when she looks at me and sometimes tries to start small convos at our lockers. I caught her just looking/staring at me a few times too, at the library.
Now, am I being really stupid at not really noticing her hints, or am I being really stupid for thinking she's hinting? | Girl randomly complimented me, always smiling when talking with me, also looks/stares at me (maybe coincidence that we both looked, I dunno). Is she hinting? |
t3_2f96pt | relationships | I [24 F] found something on my boyfriend's [30 M] phone that he doesn't consider cheating. What are the boundaries here? I don't know how to go forward with the relationship. | We have a very healthy relationship. No cheating and no problems besides the normal argument here and there. It will be a year this month, and we have discussed moving in together within the next five months.
I snooped on his phone, I know, I know, it's wrong. I shouldn't have. I have never had a reason to. What I did find was a little alarming, and I do not know how to digest it.
He went away for vacation to a huge party city in March with some friends/couples. I, being pretty lax, waved him off and told him to have fun. From what I am seeing now in his texts between him and his guy friend, he met this girl next to him on the 3 hour plane ride, they exchanged numbers and he added her on Facebook. He continued to discuss how hot she was, sending pictures of her to his friend and how he should have tried harder to get with her.
My emotions got the best of me and I freaked out on him. He confessed to it, stating that he was attracted to her but he would never cheat on me, all of that is "just guy talk". He apparently just tried to hang out with her and her friends on vacation but to no avail. He tried to get defensive in the beginning of the fight about me snooping.
Reddit, I understand we are human, I can relate to a guy approaching me in an airport and chatting for a few hours, but I have always just walked away knowing I am committed to a relationship. The fact that this was pursued beyond the plane makes me sick to my stomach, I have this inkling that if he had had the chance, he may have taken the opportunity. But he didn't, and now I'm stuck in limbo, 5 months after the incident may I add. Advice? | Found texts between him and his guy friend talking about this girl he was attracted to on the plane and continued to try and pursue when he was on vacation 5 months ago. Don't know how to handle situation. |
t3_16n0m3 | self | Need suggestions on ways to help my best friend's little sister | I have been racking my brain to think of ways to help this girl and I need some creative suggestions/advice.
Here is the story. My best friend (let's call her "Cindy") is an adult, living on her own, working full time and going to college about 2 hrs from where her mother and 15 yr old sister live (let's call her sister "Jenny"). Their mother has had a drinking problem for as long as I can remember and has already spent a few months in jail because of it. She has money problems, etc. and is a pretty selfish person to say the least. Cindy has always dropped everything to come home and try to fix what her mother has screwed up: electric shut off, car totaled, no groceries, etc.with her main concern being her sister Jenny's wellbeing. However, she is trying to finish her degree and working FT as well. Jenny is an incredibly smart girl. She doesn't drink/smoke because she doesn't want to end up like her mom and she is working as hard as she can to get herself an ivy league education after high school, but she has another 3 years to go. Basically, her main goal is to get into an awesome school far, far away from her mother and become something. I have no doubts she will accomplish exactly that if given the chance. The problem now is that their mother got yet another DUI and is facing more serious jail time. Meaning Jenny will most likely be placed with family members or a foster family- I don't know how that works. I would like to help her in some way to ensure she stays on track with her education and also emotional support of course, but I'm not sure how to do that. I know Cindy is going to do as much as she can but since I live closer I want to help. Any suggestions or advice would be most appreciated. | This 15 yr old girl's mom is going to jail and I need ideas in ways to offer my support and help keep her on track. |
t3_dngek | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, I'm turning twenty today. Do you guys have any advice for me now that I'm not a teenager anymore? | Life lessons? Advice on women (I'm a guy)? Words of wisdom? A funny joke? Anything would be appreciated! | Swallowers are usually keepers. |
t3_2r2dq1 | relationship_advice | Is My Girlfriend(21/f) losing interest. (me 21/m) | Hi, I've been in a relationship now for about a year and 3 months. It's been without doubt the best time of my life, though of course there have been difficult times. In my mind i've felt that this could be a long, serious relationship.
We're at university which means there are times when we are with each other 24 hours a day but during semester breaks we have no physical contact. It's difficult because we're a mixture of a long distance and very close distance relationship (we share accommodation). We agreed that we would communicate during the breaks texting regularly , calling each other at least every two days and skyping at least once a week.
However, three weeks into the break my girlfriend hasn't phoned or skyped me once. I initiate the majority of communication and when she does text I feel she isn't saying much at all and seems uninterested. Most days she sends less than 5 texts. I've also had an injury during this holiday, I told her and she didn't seem to care.
I've tried not to talk back to her and ignore her like she has done to me but she doesn't seem to notice. I'm wondering what people think about it and what they should think I should do, if it's me being 'silly' or there is something wrong.
I also understand she's hardworking and getting ready for exams, i'm revising myself, I just feel we should make time for our relationship too.
p.s. One holiday when we came back to university she had been flirting with someone she had known and was aware he liked her. -Thinking about it she communicated much more with him then than she is with me now. It was also at a time before exams, she didn't have a problem with that then.- When I found out I was physically sick, she thought there was nothing wrong with it. I'm worried that this or worse could happen again. | Help on whether my girlfriend is losing interest in our relationship, or if I'm over-thinking what is going on. Advice on where to go from here. |
t3_2u49k2 | tifu | TIFU by peeing out of my window and unknowingly into my housemates room. | I live on the top floor of our shared house which has it's perks like an awesome view and having the biggest room in the house, but it also has it's downsides like the only toilet in the house being on the bottom floor of a 3 level house which is a trek when I come back from work (I normally return around 2-3am) also a hazard as the lights are almost always off.
Then one night I came back drunk or stoned (I can't remember which) and REALLY needed to piss badly but didn't want to make the full trek when I was already so comfy in bed. That's when I heard the window call to me, I knew there was a ledge outside my window which would hide my modesty and that lead to the drainpipe. I figured I could piss down it and it would get washed away by the inevitable rain which is constant where I live so it wouldn't leave a smell or any trace.
Fast forward a few weeks of this being a relatively frequent thing, whenever I was too tired or lazy or drunk I would drop trou' and go out of the window. I know it's kinda gross but fuck it I'm not making a throwaway!
Anyways today we had a meeting with our letting agency to see how everything was going and after a boring discussion of the same old mice and shitty patch up jobs from the last residents my housemate said "Yeah there is this yellow patch that has appeared where the drainpipe is outside the wall, I think there's a blockage and it's soaking in through my wall".
I realized that there had been a blockage from a storm a while back and my piss had been sitting there the entire time slowly seeping through the wall and into his room. I almost couldn't contain my laughter but I kept my calm and managed to last until now as I'm typing this story up.
I haven't told him yet, nor will I ever but I may stop peeing out of my window. | Pissed out of my window, it got stuck in the drainpipe and soaked through my roommates wall. |
t3_w41b1 | relationship_advice | [21/M] My girlfriend (20/F) has so many issues and she doesn't know how to take them out on anyone but me. Help. | My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year now. She had to go away to go to practice writing for a medical school exam. Since then all we've been able to do is talk. I knew before she left that she had issues, but since going away she's gotten a whole bunch more.
She's always had issues with the way she looks, but recently it's been getting bad. No compliments help, and any effort on my part to make her feel better result in the same end.
She has the most obscene anger issues of anyone I know, and gets so easily angered that when I say anything to try and help her problems, it usually ends up with her getting mad at me.
She has family issues, used to cut, has probably tried doing more that I don't know about but I'm the only person who she can talk to about any of her problems and because of this, it backfires on me because I am her only outlet.
I love the girl, but all of her issues end up coming to me, where they usually end up with her getting mad at me due to a disagreement or with the two of us not talking because she doesn't feel the same way I do about her issues.
Reddit, I'm tired of being the only outlet and source of stress relief for my girlfriend's issues. I do not want to break up with her, because when there are no problems, everything is amazing. We're compatible, we both care about each other, but the instant I disagree with her perception of something relating to any of her issues I get a spam of "I hate you" and "Sometimes I wish I wasn't with you" texts. | My girlfriend has issues, she takes them out on me because she can't talk to anyone else about them and I want to find some other outlet for her to use so I don't become the front of her anger issues. |
t3_2fg846 | personalfinance | What would you do if you were me? | I am late 20's with a stable job and a salary around $85,000/year. I have a crossed all my t's and dotted all my i's thanks to this community, and have thankfully saved a nice ~$200,000 worth of retirement savings and personal investments since I was 18.
My question is what to do with my paid in full Universal Life Insurance policy of $290,000. I pay no premiums on this sucker and it has a cash value of ~$30,000 (after withdrawal fees/taxes) and returns a guaranteed 5-6% annually.
If you were me, would you:
*Cash the ULI and invest the ~$30,000 in index funds/ETF's
*Cash the ULI and invest in a play fund (individual stock account)
*Keep the ULI with guaranteed 5-6% annual return
*Take a loan out against the ULI policy and invest the cash (I would have to pay interest on the loan of 5% apr back to myself/policy)
I did not open or pay for this Universal life policy, so we don't have to talk about how terrible they are as "investments" (trust me, I know).
Just wondering if I should keep it as a type of Emergency savings account, or get rid of it and invest the money more wisely.
Would love to hear your thoughts guys and gals! | What would you do with a paid for Universal Life Policy with ~$30,000 cash value and 5-6% annual return? |
t3_3victs | relationships | My [28/M] roommate's friend comes over unannounced, and will bring his friends over too. | So tonight when I came home, I heard music coming from my garage. I walked in, and Carl, my roommates best friend, was in my garage, playing our instruments, with four other people I had never recently met before.
I don't mind my roommates having friends over by any means, but I hardly know Carl outside of any social setting other than being my roommates best friend, and I wouldn't of minded him having friends over, but he didn't tell anybody.
Also, I think it's inappropriate that my roommate allows Carl to come over when ever he wants, regardless of whether we are home, and gives him access to the garage key.
What should I do people of Reddit? How would you feel or handle the situation? opinions please | roommates friend invites himself over. |
t3_33tbl5 | tifu | TIFU by saying I didn't want her number | This happened last night, but it was in the early AM hours so technically today.
Anyway, I'm currently doing some travelling. I decided to spend the month of April in London and it's been great, but my time is nearly up. (Source: Calendar)
I decided to do a pub crawl in the Camden area last night. I'd gotten there a bit late so the introduction phase had passed. Being the introvert I am, I wasn't talking to too many people on my own.
There was a cute girl I'd noticed since I first walked in and I continued to steal glances of her all night. Finally, on the way to the last destination, I struck up conversation with her friend and learned that they all study at Loyola University. I'm a fan of their lacroase team, so I knew that could be my chance to talk to the girl who'd had me so captivated all night. When we all got inside, I made my attempt. Thank you, liquid courage.
We chatted for a bit. She played lacrosse herself! She was funny, knew my hometown (this is big because no one in London seems to be familiar with it), and overall lovely. At one point she said I should get her number so that we might have the chance to run into each other again. This was my drunken, thoughtless response:
"Yeah, but I'm only here for one more weekend so..."
That was it. I killed any notion of ever seeing her again in one sentence. The worst part is I hadn't meant that I didn't want to see her again, because I really did. That was just the logic my inebriated brain decided to put forth...
Kept chatting though and she continued being wonderful. I thought things were going well. I went to the bathroom and when I came back, she and all her friends were gone. Nowhere to be found in the entire club. | Coolest girl I've met in awhile literally offered me her number and my response made her think I didn't want to see her again. |
t3_39cfkg | relationships | Me [16M] with my GF [17F] of 5 months... She's got rich parents who make close to 7 figures, I've got a more "standard" life. How do I stop feeling so insecure? | I really care for and like my GF, yes we are in high school but i can't preface it enough that our problems are not related to our compassion for one another.
My issue is I feel extremely nervous and anxious about how she has a massive pool of wealth behind her. while I can only hope to one day have that kind of money at my back. She takes trips, has every new electronic and has explored every hobby I have even thought of doing.
on top of that she has a much more happy family life compared to mine, to the point that I don't like bringing up my problems to her about my life.
I feel literately inferior to her to the point its seeping into my everyday life... what can I do to solve this? Breaking up is not a option as I genuinely care for her and want to spend time with her.
She also hates whenever I bring up money. so I don't know how I should bring it up to her sense I will probably need to talk to her about it. | My GF is rich (I am very much so not) and its making me feel super weird. What should I do about it? |
t3_g829q | AskReddit | Need help with my stocks! | I'm in need of a good stock broker, or perhaps just some good advise. Basically I have a pretty good amount of stocks in Morgan Stanly that my parents bought for me when I was probably 2. Now their telling me I need to do something with them (from what I understand, our stock broker doesn't want to manage our stocks anymore, or he's going out of business.. Not really sure)
Problem is I don't know the first thing about what I need to do, where to re-invest, or basically anything. I'm completely at a loss (parents aren't giving me any guidance, they just keep yelling at me to do something with them). I'm just hoping someone here can give me some good advise because I'm at a complete loss as to what to do. If it were up to me I would just cash them in (I could use the money) but my parents told me not to because I would get screwed by taxes (they still claim me due to college, so it would probably blow back on them) | Help!? |
t3_3eains | relationships | I [18/F] went on a great semi-date [22/M] but am I moving too quickly? General advice is appreciated. | Okay, I'm going to try to get all of this down in a clear-ish way. My BF [20/M] of almost 5 months broke up with me about three weeks ago, he broke my heart but I'm working past it and I tend to bounce back from hard times pretty easily. This guy [22/M] and I started flirting a bit last week, just went on a unofficial double date tonight. He was... Amazing. Smart, sweet, cute, seemed very into me. We could have kept talking for hours it felt like. Before we started the date I was super nervous that this would just hurt, that I wasn't ready, that I wouldn't like him or he wouldn't like me. That was all entirely gone by the end of the night, and I was left with this feeling that I would be okay getting hurt again because the potential relationship that this could become would be worth it.
I leave for a month on August 2, so about a week and a half away. I don't want to start a relationship and then disappear (no cell reception or wifi where I'm going,) and he knows I'm doing this too, but after tonight I just want to see him again.
I don't know. I'm confused because I like him, but I also am telling myself not to jump right into something else, but if I leave for a month we certainly won't be jumping into anything, but - but - but there are just so many questions I can't put into words.
I am also afraid of being a serial monogamist, of not being able to handle being single, because last year I jumped between guys kind of quickly.
Sorry reddit, this is sort of stream-of-consciousness. I guess my question is: do any of you have any advice? Is there a right way? | went on a great date with a new guy, unsure about everything but the fact that I like him, do you have any advice? I |
t3_ekxuv | needadvice | Suburban kid helping the 3rd world. need advice. | Helllo reddit,
My mother has raised me well, and her humanitarian values have rubbed off on me. Every year, I've convinced my close friends and some classmates to give me their old unwanted clothes, even if they are torn, because I send them to the philippines, and my cousin there helps distribute the boxes. The ammount of boxes I send has grown over the years.
This year, I have 10 boxes, filled with clothes, and free books from the community college i attend, and some from the public library.
Once boxes are sent to my cousin, he sorts all the clothes by male, female, then child or adult. The books are given as an incentive to read to those who are literate, [he lives by a school]
But the price is about 70 bucks per box. The most boxes I've had was only 6, and that year I had some extra cash to pay for the shipment. How can I raise some money and public awareness about what I'm doing?
I've asked neighbors for donations, but have only gotten clothes, which I am thankful for, but clothes won't get the boxes shipped.
Is it possible for me to give people a tax write off, as an incentive to donate, like what good will does? or do I have to declare myself as an organization? I've stood outside of pavilions, target, wal-mart, and places in the mall telling people about what I'm doing. The greatest thing that has happened, was a couple of students took off their shirts and just handed it to me.
p.s. I'm a 19 year old who is devoted to this, I know I can raise the money, even if it involves taking up a second job, but I need more Ideas! | I have boxes of clothes and books that need to be sent to the philippines to help cloth people I've visited in rural undeveloped areas. no way of the boxes getting there, need to find a way to ask my neighbors/ community to cough up cash. |
t3_1lt3fd | relationships | Me[27/F] with my boyfriend[25M] of 1 year, dismisses my anger at him pooping while I'm in the same bathroom | This morning while I was showering my boyfriend proceeded to poop. I've let him know on previous occasions I'm not comfortable with that level of sharing and that it breaks the romance.
So I asked him if next time he needed to do that while I was occupying the bathroom, if he could please use the bathroom downstairs. To get to this bathroom, though, it requires going outside and down some stairs to a room unattached to our main home.
I understand it's easier to just use the bathroom in the main house, but he found my request "unnecessary". He outright said "no" and that he could "poop wherever he wanted."
I finally got angry for several reasons and told him as much: that we're paying for this extra space that isn't being utilized, that he would rather dismiss my discomfort with sharing a bathroom while one person is pooping because going downstairs would be an inconvenience, and that he didn't think about either of those reasons as being valid points for me to get angry over.
He then essentially asked why I didn't just go use the other bathroom if I had such a problem with it, or that while he's pooping I could just "not watch" or "walk out for a few minutes." I told him he was being lazy and acting like an asshole and he proceeded to tell me that I was a crazy bitch that likes to start fights for no reason.
This isn't the only instance where he behaves like this in the face of a complaint I bring to his attention. I feel like my feelings are constantly dismissed. I didn't like resorting to name-calling and I'm wondering if maybe there's a more effective way for me to communicate how upset and unfairly treated I feel. I'm about to leave him for good if I can't get this resolved. | Boyfriend poops while I'm in the bathroom, I ask him if next time he can use our other bathroom while I'm occupying it; boyfriend responds he can poop wherever he wants and I need to get over it. Argument ensues. |
t3_heosq | relationship_advice | RA, I'm pretty sure I want to leave my g/f of 7 years to be extremely promiscuous | Alright RA, I'll keep this as short as possible. My girlfriend and I have been together since I was 16, and she was 15. We've had the rollercoaster of a relationship one would expect when it starts with two kids that young. However, we persevered through high school and my time at college. I'm now working full time in my field making good money, and she is still in school. However, while I've reached a point where I really thought my life would be turning around (especially, with my relationship), it hasn't. I stayed true while in college despite opportunities and plenty of female friends that I could have taken things further with (sexually, and not), but never did. However, I think it has all gotten to me. When we started dating, I wasn't exactly a catch. Tall, skinny, pale, glasses, braces, acne, the fucking works. She was the most adorable girl you could ever imagine (and still is, albeit with more mature 'features'). Since I've matured and started to experience interest from other members of the opposite sex, I'm worried that if I basically don't have my chance to date and sleep with other people, I'll never be satisfied. It will always be in the back of my head, just the thought that I only know what it's like to sleep with ONE person on this planet. I don't think I can stand it. What do? | I was an ugly duckling/late bloomer, and want to experiment with more women, but I've been in a relationship since I was 16, now going on 23. Will this ever go away (and if it doesn't, what of our relationship?) |
t3_4389uj | relationships | Me [23 M] with my Co-Worker [58M] duration of since starting to work here, co-worker is surely pushing boundaries? | So I started working at this place half way through August 2012 as an IT Tech apprentice and I really do love my job. However there is this one guy who's "happily married" but is infamous for flirting with or just being with the younger males of the work place.
He drops hints, stares at my crouch line when I'm over in his office doing a job. He started following me on Facebook and seen a status I wrote "I love it when you twerk on me and grind those hips, you make my semi bend in my pants like the iPhone 6" which is obviously a lyric and the next time he rang me with an IT problem he said "Hey OP does the iPhone still bend" etc.
He seems to think I'm on Grindr or thinks I should be and he just drops weird shit and not that I'm against gays but I'm fully straight and he knows this.
I know this may seem petty but I know if I was female and this was happening it'd surely be sexual harassment? People I talk to about this just laugh.
You guys got any ideas on what I could do? | Co-Worker is being really weird and I'm sure he fancies young lads! |
t3_464645 | relationships | My (28f) dad's (58m) unemployment is taking a toll on him. How can I help? | He had a really well paying job in finance, moved companies a couple of times until his last company went under. Because of his age he hasn't been able to find another job. We had a huge house loan that my cousins paid off. I'm in grad school and living on a stipend so I haven't been able to help very much. My sister (23F) is finishing up law school and has been offered a lucrative job in corporate law that pays a lot which she will start in June. My dad saved up quite a bit over his life so my parents have been living of that but funds are running low. I'm trying to finish as fast as I can and my sister will definitely help once she starts her job, but my dad's depressed. He hates having my cousins, sister or me send him money or help him financially. My mom's always been a housewife but has now gone back to school (in a different city) to help out. Because he will need to rent if he stays in the same city as my mom, my dad stayed back at home. So he's alone and doesn't really know what to do with himself. He's always defined himself by his job and ability to provide and all this is really doing a number on his psyche. When I called him today he said he was drinking alone. He never does that and I'm getting really worried.
I would appreciate any advice on what to do to help him out. | Unemployed dad is depressed. How can I help? |
t3_1mamnp | relationships | How do I [M22] get my girlfriend [F21] of ten months to stop being my mother? | I've been preparing for an important graduate school entrance exam in a couple weeks while working a full time job. I usually get home around 7 and eat/do family stuff, skype my girlfriend from 8-9pm, and then gym or study till 10.
Lately though, my girlfriend's been on my case about studying. When I text her she tells me to stop making her a priority, which seems stupid and unhealthy for a relationship. When I skype her, she refuses to talk and tells me to just leave the camera on while I study. She guilt trips me into staying and studying instead of going out or to the gym. It's annoying as hell. She's not my mother, and talking to her used to be the best part of my day. She's smart and a great listener and helps me unwind from the day. She's also apprehensive about staying together after I move for school so I want to build as solid a base for us as possible.
I don't deal with stress well, and with this on top of work and the test I blew up at her and she wound up crying and angry. | How do I get her to understand that my studying is not her problem? |
t3_1mmym6 | pettyrevenge | Not doing your job = more work for you | So I'm a manager at a fairly successful movie theater. For the most part I work in the confessions areas. We hire mainly teenagers......yay. Must of the employees are fairly decent and most will do their jobs. But there is this group of about 3-4 girls that never do their frickin jobs. They just stand around talking and never do anything. I'm a fairly easy going guy and my whole policy is if there are no customers to help and the stand is clean you can talk, but only if your shit is done.
Whenever I see them they are all huddled together like a pack of feeble minded hippos chatting it up. They even do this when there are customers waiting to be helped and I have to tell them to do their fucking job. If I see them standing around and their crap isn't done I'll ask them what they are doing and they will say "we already did everything" bullshit I can fucking see you twats.
So my revenge is I not only painstakingly go through everything they need to do but I make a list of extra hard things to do like mopping the tile walls, detailing the inside of ask our cabinets, get on their hands and knees and scrub out baseboards, the gross stuff that no one usually does, and etc. Basically I make them actually work. Then I check their work and if it's not done properly they get to do it again plus something new. So basically they don't do their extremely easy job without me hassling them first I make it hard. And they can't complain because it's their job and I'm very nice about it. I do this for everyone but they are usually the main culprits. | girls don't do easy job I make it hard and gross and sticky and make them get on their hands and knees. |
t3_348pqe | tifu | TIFU by using my arms too much. | So this was about seven hours ago when I was still in school. I wanna preface this by saying when I tell stories I tend to be physical in my explanations.
Anyways, so after my calculus class let out, I was talking to one of my friends about the quiz we just had and how difficult it was, but somehow it turned into how drunk we got over the weekend (Don't ask me how). As I was explaining the deranged dance I was doing while under the influence, I swung my arms out while walking backwards and smacked this tiny grade 9 (I assume) girl in the face. HARD. I felt bad and tried to find her, to explain and calm her down but I had no luck. About halfway into the last period, I was called to this office, I immediately started to panic and my hysteria grew as I made my way to the office. As I walked into the office and noticed the little girl cowering with the imprint of my hand on her face. Apparently it was quite severe because her parents were there, giving me glares of death as I walked into the principal's office. After a chat with the principal I got off with a warning and but I'm pretty sure I ruined that girls experience at my school. | I was explaining a story about my weekend, smacked a girl in the face, ruined her experience at high school. |
t3_2qhjiq | relationships | Me [15 M] with my girlfriend [15 F] 1 month, said i could get feelings for my past crush | Me and my girlfrined have a relationship for about a month now, we started talking a few months ago and i always had a crush on her. A few weeks ago she want through my phone and saw that i sent a picture of my past crush to my bestfriend, this was done one week before me and my girlfriend started dating.
We had a big discussion about this and i said that i might still get feelings for this crush (VERY STUPID AND DIDNT MEAN IT). She believed this and starts about this every week.
We get a discussion about this every week and i've said hundreds of times that it wasnt real that i said it because i was stressing and just said something. She doesnt believe anything. What can i do to make this good or should i just end the relationship? | Said that i could still get feelings for my past crush and girlfriend wont forget it. |
t3_52lvpr | relationships | I'm [24F] falling for a [50M] whilst in a four year fading relationship with a [24M] | I [24F] have been dating Aaron [24M] for 4 years, and we have been living apart for most of it due to work commitments. He considered moving closer but other circumstances delayed it. And now we are looking at moving to a different country, but this won't happen in the next two or three years. It's the missed promises that's causing me to loss faith in him.. I'm not sexually attracted to him anymore.
I met Nick [50M] a month ago through work, and we met for coffee after work. Which lead to dinner and drinks. We connected instantly and it may have been the drinks..we made out in his car. Since then, I've met him thrice. And he doesn't stop surprising me and pampers me. And he said 'I love you'.. I wasn't ready to say it back.
He has two children. He divorced 3 years ago, although for most of the 27 years of marriage, they slept separately.. He also had a long term long distance relationship when he was still in this marital status. She was the love of his life but it ended early this year. That really broke his heart.
With Aaron [24M]: I don't want to end up staying in a relationship that no longer works.. but how should I tell him? Should I fix this before ending it?
With Nick [52M]: if I do decide to end things with Aaron. And start this with Nick. logically, I know it may not work. im worried about views and judgements from others. Should I pursue this? How to deal with others views and judgements? | Feelings towards my 4 year [24M] boyfriend has changed, should I fix it? Should I end it? Met this [50M] that loves me, is this real? How do I deal with the views and judgements? |
t3_2go5tu | dating_advice | Observation of a novice dater | (**The Following is just observations**)
There is a woman I am pursuing, met her through a buddy. well, we've been communicating for about a week and a half now but I get the impression I am not making the impression I would like, or I should say as quickly as I would like. On our first date, I was conscious of every action and word as to "put my good foot forward" and gain some points. well, through text messaging (and analyzing her responses) I got the feeling that maybe I was being too accessible (**a thing I remember my Mother telling me that women take for granted when I was younger**)
For example, I'd text her and ask her **"How has your day been?"** or some other question attempting to learn more about her and it would be met with silence/out right dismissal and then I'd either have to begin the engagement of conversation the next day or she would respond and mention nothing of the previous day's inquiring on my behalf. so I tried something, I had text her early in the day asking her **"How is your day going so far?"** no response until about 8 hours later. the text I received from her was **"Sorry, been kind of busy today. How are you"** and maybe she had been, but a simple **"I will text you when I'm free**" would had sufficed for me, but I got no response for 8 hours and then felt it was a weak excuse as to why she hadn't responded earlier.
So I tried something, I intentionally didn't respond to her yesterday and made a play of not initializing conversation today. I get a text from her this morning saying **"Good Morning"** to which I responded **"Good Morning, how was your sleep"** no response (this was about 4 hours ago). So now I know I messed up, because I responded in about 10 mins of her initial message. | Being too accessible seems to make women take you for granted, using a "stalling" method works ONLY if you continue the stall for sometime after she comes to you first. Lesson of the day... Don't be so quick to respond if she takes her time. |
t3_33a0pp | relationships | Me [29 M] am an overweight, bald, and hairy man who has never dated. What do I do? | Not sure if this was the appropriate sub but this is one of my favorite subs so I'll give it a shot
Puberty was not kind to me. I started balding immediately around 16-17 and sprouted long thick hairs all over my body. I absolutely hated it. Couple that with thick glasses and an overweight body and you have someone with zero self esteem. Oddly enough I still had women interested but I brushed them off. It has been years and nothing has really improved and I'm now almost 30 with arrested emotional development. I feel behind.
The problem is, I'm very limited in what I can do. Sure I can shave my head, grow a beard, lose weight, and dress fashionably but I just look terrible. I fucking hate that look. People will point to guys like Tim Howard but personally, I think he looks ridiculous.
It's hard for me to get past this and start dating because I'm so full of resentment towards everybody, even people I haven't met. I'm simply at a loss. And therapy is too expensive, forget that. | Bald, hairy, and overweight and hate the way I look. Never dated and don't know where to start. |
t3_19pzom | relationships | I (17m) don't know what to do about (15f) who I care about (and 16f) who would make a great SO and I need help deciding. | I've been talking to Girl A (15f) since November. We've liked each other and I've wanted to date. She seems to be afraid of commitment and I don't think she really gets the sacrifices you need to make for your SO in a relationship. We've gotten in a fight a couple weeks ago and I broke things off pretty much. No talking at all. So me and Girl B (16f) are in the same math class and have become friends over the semester. We start talking outside of class. We went on a date last Friday night. We did makeout.
Saturday there was a big athletic event for A and afterwards I texted/tweeted as many people I could on her team including her. We started talking again.
Recently I had been thinking about my situation and I just feel like I need her. There's not an obvious reason. I've gone through some shit in the last few months including slight depression and she was always there. And I feel like I need that still. But girl B is really cool too. And girl B wants to be serious which I value considering I'll be moving to college next year. But I just don't feel like I'm "all there" for B right now. I know that A seems to put her friends and random stupid things above me but I want it to work.
My best friend barely talks to me anymore because she hates that I still want A. | Have had an unofficial relationship/"thing" with girl A for almost 5 months. Took a break and now there's girl B but I feel like I still want girl A who I've only been on one date with. |
t3_2gxcdu | relationships | I'm [26 M] in a happy 2.5y relationship with my partner [25F], but in the past two months I've wanted to be single. Not sure what to do... | Basically everything in my relationship is great. We get along well, have fun together, share friends, and love each other, but the feeling of wanting to be single is getting stronger and stronger for me. I've been trying to fight these feelings, because I don't want to hurt her and the rational part of me tells me I would be making a mistake. But the desire to be single only grows stronger.
What should I do? Is it normal to feel this way? Should I keep fighting these feelings and hope they pass, or do I need to accept that I am falling out of love and end the relationship?
Breaking up would be a huge shock for her. She would definitely not see it coming. If I break up, what is the nicest way to do it?
These feelings have been driving me to a mild depression lately. I feel so conflicted, and even worse I feel like I have betrayed her just by having these thoughts.
Has anyone else gone through something like this? Any suggestions? | In a happy relationship. Love my girlfriend, but I deli like I'm not in love anymore and want to be single. Will these feelings pass, or should I end the relationship? |
t3_18lyao | AskReddit | People of Reddit, what is the most (unintentionally) offensive thing you have ever said to someone? | I'll start you all off. Having just moved to a Latino country, my young self (8-9 years old) was not quite used to the typical "Latino-style" greeting (a kiss on the cheek), and became rather awkward whenever it happened to me. At the time, our Spanish was also rather poor.
Upon arriving at a friends house, we were greeted by one of the sweetest old ladies I have ever seen. She approached me for a kiss on the cheek, causing me to squirm. She looked at me and asked (in Spanish) what was wrong. I looked at her straight in the eyes and said what I thought was "I don't like that", but by the shocked look on her face I had obviously said something else. I found out later that I had actually said **"I don't like you"**. | I told a sweet old lady that I had never met before that I did not like her. |
t3_2o3z9d | tifu | TIFU by doing my teacher a favor. | This just happened today, and I still don't know how the situation will turn out for me.
The story begins as I walk into English class for third period this morning. My teacher is finishing setting up and realized she needs something for the lesson. Me being the helpful young man that I am, I ask if there was anything I could get for her. It turned out she had left a file of papers in her bag in her office (my school is overcrowded so many teachers have offices and go around to different rooms throughout the day. She then gives me the keys, I get the bag and return to class.
Fast forward to the very end of the school day. As I am getting ready to leave my last period, I am called down to the office to see the principle. It turns out that another student had seen me walk out of the office with the bag. I was then told that if I didn't return the bag, I would receive harsh consequences, and several days of suspension. When I tried to explain what had actually happened, the principle reluctantly said she would talk to the teacher. Unfortunately, that teacher happened to leave for the week to go to a teacher's convention in another state. Guess what? The school has no record of any contact information other than her staff email address! So here I am now serving in school suspension for the week because I did my English teacher a nice favor when she was I a bit of a pickle. | I try to do my teacher a nice thing by fetching her bag for her, but end up getting slammed by my grouchy principle with in school suspension until I return the bag I don't even have. |
t3_2zxy00 | tifu | TIFU by thinking it was all a dream [NSFW] | This happened a few days ago, but I couldn't post it because I was busy with all its legal issues
So I am kind of a nerd, but I like sex a ton. Who doesn't?
I recently got this new app for lucid dreaming, and basically you keep it on and it repeatedly tells you that you are dreaming. I was supposed to tell the app when I went to bed, and turn it off in the morning. It kind of has like a sleep tracker also.
So I try this thing out, and after a week I don't think it is working. That is, until a little while ago.
So I went to bed for a nap, everything normal, the sound turned to full. I planned on napping and then hitting up the bar, since its Friday night and I'm alone. I wake up, but I forget to turn it off. Of course I didn't know that then.
So I finally got to the bar and found this gorgeous blonde girl at a bar. I start talking to her, when BAM, I hear my dreadful phone.
"You are dreaming"
At first, I think shit, what am I gonna do. Then my raging hormones take over. I thought I was really lucid dreaming. Now I did not mention that this girl's fits were HUGE. I mean her rack was so large you could practically park your car on it.
So thinking this is a dream, I just say fuck It, and so I chug my beer, and full on grab her tits. I then start to try and kiss her, but she bitch slaps me.
She calls me a huge perv and calls for help.
I thought that this was lucid dreaming, so I thought I could control what happens. So when a nearby man who saw what happened tries to help her out, I kind of waved my hand at him like Obi Wan Kenobi and tell him to go back.
I then get knocked out, and wake up in a police station. | Thought I was dreaming, grabbed a girl's tits because I can do what I want when I dream. End up getting knocked out and registered as a sex offender |
t3_1xjt9x | relationships | How do I [25 M] deal with my best friend's wife [31 F] for his sake? | My friend and I both consider each other as best friends. Almost 2 years ago, he got a married woman pregnant pretty much one of the first few times they had sex. Fast forward throughout the pregnancy and she and my friend move in together and she separates from her husband.
Once the child is born everything seems to be fine, but once they made their marriage official it all changed. I am not exaggerating when I say this, my friend is not allowed to go out with friends, even if it's just for a beer, unless she is with him. To flip this around, she goes out on numerous occasions with her girlfriends which upsets my friend very much, often she comes home drunk in the early morning hours while he's home with their child, and hers from her previous marriage.
It has come to a point where I've spoken my mind to her and it just ends up with her giving my friend an ultimatum, either her or his "old life" so I've since ceased to say anything to her anymore for the sake of the friendship.
What I'm asking for is some insight on how to manage this relationship? It is becoming nearly impossible to even enjoy spending time with my best friend when she's around, not because she's there, but because my friend is constantly put on a pedestal to be the best husband ever. I feel like she saw this relationship early on as being able to groom the perfect husband in her eyes while she continues to live her life as she sees fit.
I know my friend isn't entirely happy, and even that is a stretch. I realize he tried doing the right thing in getting married with a kid and all, but every time I bring this stuff up he just shrugs it off or agrees with me and does nothing about it. They do, however, get in fights about a variety of things on a consistent basis.
I'm at the point where I'm just going to limit physical contact, as I'm one of his last remaining friends left, until the inevitable divorce happens. | My friend is in a toxic marriage and it is affecting my friendship with him. Looking for guidance. |
t3_13rl2p | personalfinance | Ready to move on to the next stage of my life, but my finances are a mess. Need basic help setting my financial life straight. | I've been with my SO for a few years and we're finally ready to take the plunge into marriage. She has a 700+ credit rating, has never payed a bill late in her life and is just about the most responsible person I know when it comes to money. I am the exact opposite.
My parents were never beacons of financial prudency so I never learned the skills I needed to keep myself out of trouble. Due to this, and my own irresponsibility, I now a have a torrid history of delinquent bills and even a car repossession. I've never qualified for a CC and my credit rating is hovering somewhere around the low, low 500s.
Recently all of this came to a head when I tried to get a new car after my old one crapped out on me. I was being offered IRs of ~17% for a 60 month loan, which I couldn't afford. I also have had my wages garnished for failure to pay student loans, although I will have them paid off completely in a few months.
So far my SO has been extremely supportive, but I am worried. I am worried that my terrible habits will affect our financial future together and make it difficult for us to do something like buying a house or a car together.
I'm starting from scratch, trying to change habits a decade in the making. Any books that you could recommend or advice that you could give to help me repair my finances would be most welcome. Thank you. | my credit is a mess, I have terrible financial habits, my SO is a credit GOD so I want to repair my finances before it solidly impacts us. |
t3_2ds9zj | relationships | Me [19 M] with my GF [20 F] duration 8 Months, doubts (too good of friends)? (a bit weird post) | Ok so I have been dating my girlfriend since the middle of freshman year, and I have come to love her so much as one of my best friends and I know no matter what, in the future I will seriously look at this girl as the biggest homie ever. And I know I am and I can be attracted to her tons (body and mind). But for some reason, past few months, I feel like I sorta don't see her as attractive (again, both body wise and mental wise).
Not that she is any less of a great person, just that I seriously start seeing her more as a longtime friend than a girlfriend. And I feel like im leading her on at least a little bit because she seems more invested than I am in the whole thing (don't get me wrong I love the girl and am in the relationship fully, I have just been feeling these feelings shit lately and I just wanna make sure im not just psyching myself out). From your guys' perspective, am I just going for a stupid ass excuse for a break up, or is it actually possible to friend zone your own girlfriend? | OK, so essentially I have a GF who I am attracted to, whom I LOVE as a person and friend. But recently, I feel like ive been getting less attracted to her and not think of her as much as my GF but rather a friend. Am I possibly friendzoning my girlfriend or am I just making up a completely lame as fuck excuse to break-up? any input? |
t3_1517rb | relationship_advice | My Bestfriend's [24/m] girlfriend [21/f] just told me that she no longer loves her boyfriend of 6 years. What do I do? | They have been going out for 6 years. The boyfriend moved overseas to do Honors and the girlfriend stayed to finish her degree. They were fine for that year. He came back for a year and they were perfect. He then had a job lined up back overseas and her plan was to finish her degree and go move over. Now's the time for her to move over and she drops this bombshell. For the first few years she was crazy for him and he always seemed distant. Now he's absolutely crazy for her and she just doesn't care. She is a super flirty girl and this is sort of adding to my suspicion that she is cheating on him. I love them both and just want them to be happy. Please help. I'm really worried and have no-one to turn to. I even asked some girls that know her (she doesn't have many girl friends) and one seems suspicious of her. I asked if there was someone else and she says no. The reason I think she's cheating is because she's always been super flirty. Other girls don't trust her around their boyfriends. She flirted with me. I would even wake up, after drinking, and find her asleep next to me. She seems to be getting super close to another guy and she always wants to get him in our activities.
I literally haven't slept because it's getting to me. I haven't told my best friend that she said she didmt love him but he's back in town next week so I think I'll talk to him then. | girlfriend says she doesn't love her boyfriend of 6 years. I think she might be cheating. |
t3_1e84s3 | relationships | My friend [24M] wants me [23M] to pay him back for something that happened 2 years ago. | 2 years ago, I left my ex-girlfriend's apartment and needed a place to stay before transitioning into a new apartment. A bunch of friends that lived at the same place offered to give me a place to crash for a few weeks. They had three rooms, and I happened to stay in the friend in question's room because he was only there a few days a week. At the time, I wasn't extremely close to him and only knew him for about a year. I offered to pay him about $200 (his monthly rent was $500), but he told me not to worry about it. I contributed to electricity and internet expenses, however, and bought him a couple meals to show my appreciation.
Fast forward to today. The friend and I have still been sort of close. We hang out and see each other a lot because we're in the same group. I recently bought tickets (about $100 each) to a concert for me, the friend, his girlfriend, and a few others. Most of them have already paid me back, but today he asked me if he could use "that time I stayed at his place" in lieu of paying me back for him and his girlfriend's tickets.
$200 isn't going to kill me, but it's still a pretty large sum at this point in time since I'm currently living paycheck to paycheck. I find it strange that he never asked me for the money or brought it up in all these 2 years. I also find it weird that he wouldn't bring this up before I bought the tickets in the first place. Am I being overly sensitive or stingy? I was considering saying no, but I've seen seemingly insignificant money issues destroy friend groups and relationships and am wondering if I should just let this go. | Stayed at a friend's place 2 years ago, friend didn't take my money back then, hasn't brought it up for 2 years, and now wants to cancel what he owes me now from it. Am I wrong for thinking this is shady, or should I just let it go? |
t3_w187n | dating_advice | Everything is screaming "run away", still on the fence though | 23yo male here, she's 23 as well.
We had our first date last night, everything is telling me "don't persue this girl!"
Here's the run down of this date/young woman. During our date, we started playing the question game, I found out a lot of stuff.
She says I put off a "safe" vibe. Like I never do anything wrong, she said. She doesn't find this attractive because it's so different from her own personality, and from the guys she normally dates. She feels like she could eat me alive, or she could walk all over me, and I would just be ok with that (I wouldn't let it happen, but that's the vibe she gets apparently)
We talked about what we want out of our dating lives. She wants to date casually, where as I'm looking for an actual relationship.
She asked me why it took so long to ask her out, I told her its because I was wanting to get to know her more first. I asked her why she said yes, and she couldn't answer.
I was warned by 3 different people that she's a heartbreaker. She called herself a heartbreaker last night. She told me that because of her life growing up, she's very independent, and she has a lot of trouble letting people in. Once she starts to feel for someone else, she runs away.
After she told me this stuff, she said that whatever happens is my own fault because she gave me fair warning.
The date wasn't all serious though, we had a lot of fun too, and laughed a lot, and had a really good time. We watched fireworks in her driveway, and we kissed a little, I didn't really feel a lot of sparks honestly. She expressed interest in going out again, and I did the same thing.
Despite the good time I had with her, I have the overwhelming urge not to go out with her again, because i know it wouldnt end well. But at the same time, i really like her, and I want to see her again. I'm on the fence. What should I do? | I'm setting myself up for disappointment, should I continue anyway? |
t3_2df7yq | relationships | I am [21 F] in love with my friend [21 M] for the last year, but he is in an arranged marriage. | My friend and I have known each other for the last year. We talked about dating before everything happened. Last October he had to leave back to Afghanistan to see his family.
While over there, his mother forced him into an arranged marriage. Telling him if he did not marry he was be disowned and would not be able to come back to America. He has always been close to his family and ended up agreeing to the arranged marriage.
After he came back, we ended all plans of us dating. We talked about it before he left but once the marriage happened we never talked about it again.
His wife will not be coming over to the states for another year. He will not be married to her until she comes over, which means they have never seen each other for more than the ceremony in Afghanistan.
Over the summer, we stated hang out more. We always flirted with each other. A little over week ago we started sleeping together. The problem is I am in love with him, but if he leaves this marriage his family with disown him. He also does not know I am in love with him. He knows I like him. I have also never met his family. He cannot been seen with girls, or out past 10.
Reddit what should I do, I do not want to lose my friend, and he will never leave his family it is all he has. | I'm in love with a guy who is in an arranged marriage, and I don't know what to do. |
t3_1zs0te | relationships | Me [21 M] with my flatmate [18 F] my flatmate confessed her love to me. | I have been living with my female flatmate for approximately 6 months. Last night our flat had drinks and she pretty much confessed that she wants to be with me. I don't feel the same way and she is currently with one of my good friends in a relationship.
Her heart is broken because she always hoped. I don't know how to comfort her because usually she would turn to me for help but im the problem.
I always knew she felt this way but she never brought it up. Shes probably my best friend and i don't want to lose her. But fuck there's just a barrier now. I'm trying to get her to talk to her friends about it and she is currently at one of her girl friends house. Which i think is good, she needs to be away from me. She tells me she hates me now, because it would be easier to live with someone you hate. I don't know, i think shes just angry now.
Any advice or words would be appreciated. | Flatmate confessed love to me, don't feel the same way back. Not sure what to do to comfort her. |
t3_31472a | dating_advice | Dating Shows & Falling Fast | As a person who is really into relationship psychology and relationship counseling etc. I have to admit- I enjoy watching a lot of dating shows. That all being said, I like to take things with a grain of salt with these shows. After all, they are television shows. These people are put into ideal & over the top scenarios and competition-like situations that most of the time make the other individual appear more appealing, leaving the experience heightened.
But there's one thing that I've often heard people comment on/ myself questioned many times before- how quickly someone can fall for another person. Now there's no timeline or rules for when you fall for another person/ I can't doubt another persons intentions, but the viewers usually pass this as the contestants being caught up in the competition of things.
While I agree, I was watching a different show the other day that takes extreme measures to commit strangers to a marriage..THEN building a relationship. While some parts of me can be skeptical, the show really does take an interesting approach. Anyways, back to my point. One of the experts, commented on the topic of falling in love with someone and time. Her opinion was that sometimes you just meet a person, you click, and it just happens.. sooner than you think.
A while ago you could have asked my opinions on what she said and I would somewhat disagree with her, but I'm finding myself more and more accepting of the quality of the time spent with an individual rather than the quantity of it. Now I'm not saying I exactly believe that you can fall for someone in a week .. but i guess (and I'm hesitant with this time frame) I'm not saying that you can't either. My new point of view believes you can know everything about a person for years and be in a committed relationship with them and take a longer time to love them, or find yourself not even loving them at all... while on the other hand you can know someone for months and be simply dating and could have fallen for them. Every person has a different way of developing feelings, but I think its definitely possible. | I don't believe that you need an insane amount of time invested in a relationship in order to love someone. |
t3_1dxxyh | needadvice | It was my suggestion we go to a restaurant for Mother's Day (I'm the oldest son)... do I now have to pay for all 5 members of my family? | I'm 25 years old, if it matters, and it just dawned on me that I have no idea what the proper protocol is for payment in this situation, because I made the decision that will make everyone spend money.
I told my mom we'll take her out for a mother's day dinner and to pick a restaurant. She picked one, and in the meantime I ran this plan by my two siblings and my dad. I think they would have rather ate at home, but were cool with it because it's a special occasion.
Do I have to pay for everyone since this was my idea? Or do my siblings (also adults) pay for themselves, and my dad for himself, and me for myself and my mom? That just seems strange to eat as a family and everybody pays separately, especially on a holiday. | Wondering how to split meal payment on mother's day. |
t3_3bkt8o | legaladvice | Possible aggravated stalking or harassment? | One of my neighbors, or possibly my parents, have a surveillance system set up. Now this would not at all bother me, I'd have one set up if I was a home owner as well. What does bother me though is my suspicion that it is being used to target me and inform people of when I leave my house, be it by car or on foot and I've frankly had enough.
There have been instances when I've gone on simple walks to the store and people have known I was going to be there beforehand. It's gotten to the point where people would literally slander me and persuade store clerks to make me sick (one clerk rubbed something on my pack of cigarettes I purchased, I have no evidence, but I know it's a fact).
Despite how outrageous this sounds, please just assume I'm right and I know what I'm talking about. These things are happening, and they have put me at a higher risk for isolated incidents of harassment. Local law enforcement already know, and I filed a single report once I became suspicious, how ever as I said, I believe I was either being slandered/defamed or someone was being convinced it was ok for illegitimate reasons. | How does one properly investigate an instance of possibly illegal surveillance or misuse of such surveillance? Also, what is the proper legal option for defamation of character and possible harassment? |
t3_1112sq | relationship_advice | [15/m] Hey, I'm in a relationship and i dont know what to do... | Hey everybody, let me start from the begining. i met her at a school football game, she was dating another guy then but eventually she broke up with him and we got together. now that we are together im not sure if i even like her for who she is, do you guys know what im talking about? because for me i want my relationships to be about who eachother are not just the physical benefits of it (we havent done anything serious). But i feel like if i break up with her i will be acting like an asshole because in my last relationship i broke up with my girlfriend souly on the basis that i didnt like who she was or her personality at all.
im really confused and not sure at all what i should do, i dont want to be the guy who breaks up with girls after he makes out with them. but i also dont want to be the guy who stays in a relationship with a girl just for the physical. becasue i really care about being with someone who i like and can talk to easily, you know? keep in mind this is only my second relationship also we are the same age feel free to ask any questions you want... | i dont know what to do about my relationship i want to be able to talk to her and relate but i find it awkward |
t3_3zi0sr | relationships | I [21M] love my SO [19F] to much to break her heart. Wat do | We are coming up on our 6th months here and I feel like its a kind of milestone when its time to really commit or get out. So here it is
The breakdown: So we met on tinder pretty much out of desperation and after a couple months doing the fuck buddy thing it kind of got to the point where we were doing all the dating stuff except actually dating. So we start talking and weve been together since.
The truth: Im pretty sure I love her but not the way I think she says she loves me. I mean that I never want to see her unhappy, and shes so nice and deserves nothing less. She acts like we will be together. The problem is I dont think im attracted to her really on a physical level, she doesnt wear makeup, she wears her brothers old shirts, so shes kind of a tom boy. Like she is so nice but sometimes i have no urge to have sex when we hangout. When I imagine spending our life together it instantly makes me want to hit the road. As bad as it sounds she is also really broke, like I dont expect her to buy me stuff, but she is so broke her phone has been off for 2 months and at this point its getting financially taxing just to spend time with her.
The options: Miss right now V Miss right, using our age difference to cleanly separate when I graduate The bandaid, just do it and hope it was the best decision Go with it (what ive been doing) Im super comfortable not chasing girls at the bar and I like doing the gf thing but I just dont know if shes the one and sometimes it gets taxing Please if anyone has a different outlook or opinion or option or even situation feel free to share | I love my gf but not romantically. I would like to pursue other girls but I dont know how to please everyone |
t3_1t94fb | legaladvice | Is it legal to ask about one's religion during a job interview in Texas? | So just a little while ago my wife had a phone interview for a professor's position at an unnamed Texas University that is religiously affiliated.
My understanding is that it's not legal to directly ask about one's religion in a job interview but this particular interview opened with that exact question. She dodged it as best she can talking about the school's mission statement and how she does believe in ethics and morals and instilling that into students and how religion can play a strong role in that.
They then asked for direct clarification saying 'but you're not currently affiliated with any church or synagogue' - and when she told them that she was not, they ended the interview immediately.
So, my question - is that legal, specifically in Texas? I've always been under the impression that you can't do that, but figured that if you could do that anywhere, Texas would be a good candidate. Do religiously affiliated organizations have the right to ask that kind of thing where something like a Public school wouldn't?
I'm not really looking to push this anywhere, but I am curious about the legality of that - she'd had a former professor in the state tell her that it wouldn't come up directly because they weren't allowed, perhaps that was inaccurate advice. | Wife had her phone interview abruptly ended with a university in Texas after one question about her religious affiliation. |
t3_4f8lxp | tifu | TIFU by almost losing my war against the fruit flies | Don't worry y'all this fuck up is almost more pathetic than it sounds and it actually happened earlier today.
So my apartment has had an ongoing problem with fruitflies. It may be due to the fact that my roommate and I wait til the last possible moment to take out our trash and leave out bananas until they're totally brown, but that's besides the point. The fruitflies are all over the place and it drives me crazy.
So today the fruit flies kept trying to get at my peanut butter sandwiches and it was pissing me off so I decided to commit fruit fly genocide (and I already know what you're thinking- no you can't use fruit fly genocide as a band name because I got dibs on it). So the genocide started by just swatting them with my bare hands, and I probably killed 30+ in like 15 minutes with this technique- it was strangely therapeutic.
But then I went in my bathroom and there were tons, and they liked to gravitate towards the mirror. I got the idea to use bleach as a sort of gun to kill many at a time (extra fun because you can squirt to snipe the flies or spray to kill many at the same time). After a few minutes I had killed a bunch of flies but gotten bleach over a lot of my bathroom, which I thought was fine because then I could just scrub the walls and mirror and kill two birds with one stone. But then I figured if I was getting my window dirty with bleach I might as well just use windex because that would make cleaning it easier. For those that don't know, mixing ammonia (windex) and bleach makes toxic vapor.
After a few minutes began coughing and I realized my mistake, so I had to go outside for a walk and allow my apartment to air out. | Tried to kill fruit flies, almost poisoned myself with bleach and windex. |
t3_3feb4x | tifu | TIFU by opening a website | Today, as I finished my finals, I've decided to just chill at Starbucks for a few hours to watch YouTube videos like I usually do on my free time. So, everything is cool until 15 minutes ago. I was watching JustKiddingNews on YouTube where they were discussing about a cheating site called Ashley Madison getting hacked. Out of curiosity I just wanted to see is the site still down or what. And I've made a bad decision to google the site and opening it. In the video the website was quite normal, that's the reason why I didn't think of anything before accessing it. And I'm sitting on the kind of spot that there's a counter with the tall chairs facing the windows, so the people in the store can actually see everything I'm doing on my laptop. And when I accessed the site, there was this women, naked on top nipples showing. I panicked and for almost 5 seconds the image is on my screen and I'm fiddling around safari to find the close tab X button. Now here I am, face completely red typing this TIFU. | Browsed a NSFW website out of pure curiosity at Starbucks and everybody saw it. |
t3_4u4h8p | relationships | My [25 F] fiance [31 M] moved in 2 months ago has a really high sex drive and I don't know how to keep up | My fiance and I met 7 years ago when he was in med school while I was an undergraduate. We met in LA, and I stayed for work while he moved to Seattle for residency. It was difficult with the distance, but 5 years later of hard work, phone calls, and monthly visits, he proposed upon finishing his residency and getting a job in LA. He moved into my apartment, and we have been living a really happy life.
Don't get me wrong, I love my fiance. He is really interesting and cares about me so much. The only thing that we don't match up on is our sex drive... in med school he didn't have much time and we would have sex a few times a week, when he was in Seattle, we couldn't leave bed the entire time we saw each other. Living together now, I have found he has a **really** high sex drive. I thought it was from the excitement of being engaged and moving in, but it has been 2 months now.
Whenever I am not in the mood, I ask him if he's ok to put it off for later, and he agrees, but I can tell he's hurt. He never makes me upset and cares so much about me, so seeing him be down trodden makes me upset. I honestly don't know how to keep up.
Does anyone have similar issues? How do you keep your partner with a higher sex drive from being hurt? I know he isn't going to cheat, but it's almost like he is personally insulted when I don't want to have sex. | Fiance has a really high sex drive, and I don't know how to keep from hurting him when I tell him I'm not in the mood. |
t3_2uecew | relationships | me, busy student, [18 F] very confused about how to/if i should maintain a relationship with bf [19 M] | I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we have had a very healthy, loving relationship until recently.
I am a student nurse and am on placement/studying all week as well as having a job so we only have weekends to see other. I also have no friends, my boyfriend is my only companion.
In December we 'broke up' (never made it official) after having a discussion about how I was struggling with how often he goes out with his male friends. I have no issue with him spending time with friends but it was becoming a case of him spending far more time with them than with me and it was really hurting me to feel second best. He told me he feels guilty when he goes out and doesnt like telling me of his plans because he will get a bad reaction, i can admit sometimes i do get very jealous, so we decided to end it.
We couldnt cope apart and reconciled and agreed to make the changes that needed to happen. Since then there has been something missing from the relationship.We used to be very romantic, writing each other notes, buying nice gifts, going on dates ect but for the past month we have very little of that (partly due to my busy schedule) Recently my boyfriend told me has has plans 3 weekends in a row in feburary which devastated me as it would mean I wouldnt see him literally the whole month. This led to another discussion about our relationship and we havent spoke in almost 24 hours.
I feel so torn because I still want to be with him as I love him and spending time with him a lot and I would be completely alone without him. But I dont want to be in a relationship where im competing for his time/second best. What can we do to make our relationship work around my busy schedule and his group of friends? | Feeling second best but cant bear to end my relationship. Extremely confused. |
t3_1zumu2 | relationships | Me [22M] with my ex [20M/F], 2 years on/off. How do I get over her? | Long story short, I don't know how to get over my ex. We broke up about 3 months ago over a petty argument and this isn't the first break up.
The first time, she cheated on me. And after that I ended up getting back with her even though I went through hell and back. I knew our relationship was toxic but I did it anyways. I thought everything was going good until I found out that she was still talking to the guy (they're childhood friends) she cheated one me with. They were together for 3 months during the duration of our first breakup.
I tried to be civil about it and asked her to stop talking to him but it didn't work. I loved her a lot (she's my first love) so I just wanted to be with her. I guess I know it's my fault because I couldn't get over their relationship.
After my ex went to France to study abroad, I thought everything would be okay. Then she cheated on me by fucking with other guys while she was in Europe and still talking to that ex of hers. When we argued, she defended him even though she said they weren't anything but friends and that he was a good listener and fun to talk to. We ended up breaking up again before she even came back to the States.
After a month or so, I found out that she was fucking him again but insisted to everyone that they weren't going out. I also found out that he and another of her exes have taken advantage of her sexually during the duration I've known her while she was either drunk or asleep.
I also found out that it's a regular occurrence with this guy because he forces her to drink. | I want to get over her but I still really care about her. I also don't know how to handle this situation. What do I do? |
t3_3pmkia | legaladvice | Will the judge be lenient? (KY, USA) | I was homeless for 2 years spanning 2012-13. During that time I was depressed and drank heavily. In 6 months I racked up about 8 public intoxication charges (labeled A.I. or "alcohol intoxication" on the citations). I know that's really bad. Let's just say, law enforcement now knows me by name in that area...
The first few times I only spent the night in the "drunk tank", but on A.I. number 7, I was sentenced to serve 10 days in county jail. It was rumored that I may be sentenced to serve up to 90 days on number 8. So when it happened, I didn't stick around for court, I left the state, sadly my home, to start over.
Fast forward 2 years later to present day. I'm now somewhat established and proud of it - considering my past. I have an apartment through government housing (HUD), a minimum wage job for over a year, and I've been completely sober for 6 months. I've had a steady girlfriend for over a year (recenly engaged) as well as reconnected with my sister and father. I've also been making child support payments again. I plan to finally finish my Bachelors degree too. I even started a very sucessful charity to help the Homeless in my area...
If I were to return to my home state and basically turn myself in, would any of the good deeds and proof that I did a complete 180 and changed my life for the good, have any effect on sentencing? Will the judge allow me to subpeona character witnesses? Could I maybe only pay a fine? Or am I still screwed?? I'm afraid I'll lose everything again if I have to serve 3 months in jail (maximum sentence in KY for A.I.). I'll definitely lose my job and HUD housing. I'm terrified to even enter the state/county because law enforcement may recognize me. (BTW, Kentucky is a Commonwealth state like VA, if that helps/matters.) | Got several public intoxication charges while homeless. Two years later, changed my life for the good, e.g. give back to community, have apartment, job. I'm afraid I'll lose everything again if I have to serve 3 months in jail. Will the judge take it easy on me? |
t3_1xtlin | relationships | What are my options? I can hardly take it any longer. | turned 18 3 months ago. grew up as an only child, lacked company; had nearly all the things i could want but they somehow seemed to lack a soul.
am the sort of teen who is into finance, business, economics, politics and sociology etc. Never been in a relationship as society did not really except me for who i am(from singapore where the culture is very different).
a month ago, i attended a banking event for young adults aged 18-24). 2 day thing. first day i happened to sit down at a table where there was this lady who seemed pretty nice. so we got to introduce ourselves etc.
we kinda hit it off and she asked me alot of personal questions like if i had a gf, what my dad did, where i lived and my no. she asked me how old i was and when i asked her for her age all i got was, "im old enough to be your mom" with a huge laugh.
she is the most refined female i have met (i later figured she was abt 24). now after the event, things were fine. i got her no. by asking on FB and we chatted briefly for the following days(whatsapp)
all of a sudden, the chatting activity kinda plunged. iirc she's a assistant stock broker so i do understand she's busy. now i am pretty certain i have fallen and fallen real fucking hard for her.
she's smart, kind and blah blah blah you get the point. i don't care about the 6 year age gap as she makes me feel very good about myself(yes ik she may think otherwise).
i asked her out once for coffee and she very politely said she wasn't free on that day.
i have been advice by my friends(those few i divulged to) and they suggested either i prepare to admit i have no chance or try asking again.
i genuinely feel she is worth my time but i have no idea how to proceed. and i don't even see her as i am still schooling whereas she's working. | boy who doesn't like girls(i don't like to play games) meets woman |
t3_1yzm4z | weddingplanning | I'm feeling the need to "take back" our wedding. | It's unfortunate, but my parents are being parentzillas. My fiance and I don't really want a huge blowout thing. We honestly started out with the idea of a backyard bbq.
I'm so frustrated. Our list is up to 175 people from the 100 we wanted originally. (and that was pushing it)
Last night I was talking to my mom and she was talking about the shower they're throwing and said "hope the food doesn't outdo your sliders for the wedding haha!" What the heck? These are (semi) rational people.
I want to go elope at this point, but my grandma means the world to me, and I couldn't do that to her, and his family is amazing.
I don't know what to do, or how to take back our wedding without sounding like a bridezilla. They gave us (some) money for our wedding, but we honestly wouldn't have needed it if they hadn't taken over. :( | My parents are taking over the wedding, and I don't know how to take it back without sounding like a bridezilla. |
t3_1s6bbq | relationships | I [24 M] believe that my GF [22 F] of 4 years, is about to cheat on me | Sorry if I make mistakes typing, english is not my primary and I'm really nervous.
I started dating my GF when she was 18 (I was her first man, and only one so far, I guess), I love her and it really hurts to type this.
She's extremely beautiful and open minded about a lot of things, especially about sex. That means she wants to try new things, and as she already told me, she is interested in having sex with other people, seeing as I'm the only person she had sex with.
That is fine by me, as I told her I wouldn't mind if we did a threesome or foursome, or anything else, as long as we booth agree to it. She said she agreed with me.
A lot of guys hit on her, but there is this one particularly that I really hate. He's always talking on facebook or what'sapp with my GF - I don't like it at all, but I trust her. She said that when he was single he kept hitting on her but nothing happened (and it was a time that our relationship was kinda crappy).
Now, I know what I did was wrong, but I logged into her facebook account to see her conversations with this guys... apparently he sent her some sort of picture of him and she said his "belly was sexy" and also that she was curious to see his crotch (wtf). He replied that he'd think about it and she said for him to think kindly of it. (That means they didn't fuck at least)
I don't know what to think. Do I talk to her about it? After all, she's flirting with this guys. But I also broke her privacy...
Seriously, my mind is a wreck right now, I really love her but won't tolerate any kind of betrayal. | Logged into GF's facebook account and found her flirting with guy I hate. |
t3_449whu | tifu | TIFU by wearing my uncle's old shoes. | This is one of my first non-throwaway TIFUs I probably created, but first of all, like most of the TIFUs, this happened before, probably during middle school.
My rubber shoes that I always commonly use every time I get out, is being fixed by my mom because there some slight damage on my shoes, as like it was "*laughing*".
I have no choice, but I have to use the old shoes on the storage section of the house. I chose the brown shoes, said by my mom that is formerly used by my uncle.
I went to school, and having my ordinary day until later lunch, when my shoes collapses while walking, probably because I accidentally hit it on an edge. I was planning to eat with my friends, but I have to stop on a random bench, because I want to avoid embarrassment.
Luckily, I brought my masking tape with me, in my bag. I have used that tape to wrap my shoes in order for it not to collapse again. It now looks like my shoes become mummified or something, but it's still useful, as in it's useful in functionality, in exchange of a disadvantage in cosmetic appearances.
I can barely run, but I can walk fast. The class laughs at my shoes, but I can endure that, as I was always used to be a class clown.
Later dismissal, when I went home, my maid and my mom also have the same reaction. This time, my mom removed the tape, and said that it's strong, but it needs to be fixed.
Finally, I had a relief, and almost forgot everything after that, as I played video games after I changed to my sleepwear. This is not probably a FU, but it's a comedy gold if someone saw me did that. | Shoe collapses, used a tape to fix it. |
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