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t3_1dz3ne | dating_advice | I'm [19m] looking for advice on how to initiate a relationship with someone [19f] | I do feel embarrassed asking this, but I love Reddit and it can't hurt.
I've never had a girlfriend. This is really because, I've never tried. I have a nervous disposition, and bouts of depression, which makes it really hard to be motivated or brave enough to do anything about it. I think I'm reasonably good at holding a conversation, which I've got a lot better at recently, it's not as if I'm scared of talking to girls.
However recently things have changed. I've been seeing a counsellor, left home, been getting more confident and I want to start reaching out and becoming more "normal".
Enough of my life story. My point is, I have no experience or knowledge of how to begin a relationship. There's a girl I like, we have a lot in common and get on well. We went to college together, and chat on Facebook often. I'm home for summer in a few weeks and would love to ask her out or whatever, and just wondered if anyone had any advice about how to approach it or what to do. | Looking for advice on initiating a relationship for the first time |
t3_3ctc6z | relationships | I'm [30F] considering breaking up with my 'Best Friend' [31F] of 15 years | We've been long distance friends for ~10 years at this point. We were best friends before I moved, but I fully understand this is just a regular friendship at this point. She changes boyfriends every 2 years or so, and each time becomes a slightly different person, which has always been OK with me... I'm sure she thinks I'm way different since having a kid (she's dedicated to be lifelong childfree).
The issue currently is I'm feeling hurt by her lack of interest in making any effort toward seeing my home. I know she doesn't like kids, but in the 10 years I've lived out of state, she's seen me in my territory ONCE (and my kid is only 1.5, so there were many years before that).
She is currently on the East Coast, about 2 hours from my home, and has determined that all she can spare is an afternoon with me. She's with her new boy's family. I'm beside myself with hurt. I JUST realized this friendship is one sided, and I'm just devastated. I have an overwhelming urge to drive there (she's invited me) and tell her she's released from this. Whatever this is. | High school best friend makes no effort, consistently chooses boyfriend over me. |
t3_219lw1 | Advice | Afraid of liking anybody? | Throughout high school I dated two girls from before freshman year to the beginning of senior year. The last relationship ended badly and I was crushed for months. I was not happy by myself and quickly figured out I was relying on the relationships for happiness.
Coming to college, I started with PUA material (I've now dropped that and only go for girls I know) and, as a result I didn't even intend, became 1000% more confident. I'm happy by myself for the first time in my life.
I've since had a *lot* more success with girls and have gone on dates with a number of them. I have recently ran into girls that I actually *want to want*, if that makes sense, to possibly go farther with but I feel like I might be afraid of leaving the "by myself" happiness it took forever for me to get to. I feel like I like a girl but I'm telling myself "No" simply because of a change that might go awry.
I don't know. Any advice or experience with this? | After being happy by myself for the first time ever, I think I'm talking myself out of going farther than dating with any girl. |
t3_2pqx74 | relationship_advice | I [18/m] have been hanging out with her (17/f) for a few months and am really confused about feelings/intentions | I've hung out with this girl a few times in the past couple months, and am really confused about her feelings/intentions towards me. We're not in a relationship, but I hope I am still welcome to post here.
So, I've been getting some signals that tell me she likes me and is interested in me... but I've also felt, at times, that she isn't. She's been kind of touchy-feely with me, she's quite flirty with me at times and has made some sly comments involving us dating.
However, there is something about it that makes me think that I'm wrong. Assumptions were made when we first started hanging out, that were quickly solved and never really discussed again. She's hung out with other guys, besides me... just stuff like that.
Anyway, I could bring it up and talk to her... but I feel like *friendship* isn't one of the options she's feeling. I've convinced myself that this girl is either really into me or is simply using me for attention/whatever... I mean, I've thought about asking her on a real date (instead of just "hanging out") but am not really sure if that's the best course of action. | mixed signals from flirty girl makes me think a) she likes me back or b) is using me for attention... unsure how to find out the difference. |
t3_3c7833 | relationships | I [27M] ran into old friend [25F] and now second guessing my 1.5 year relationship with my girlfriend [22F] | I was innocently enough walking around a local consignment store when I heard my name. I looked up to see her... holy shit.
She and her mother were there looking for a cigar box to put ties in, a gift gift for her cousin/best friend. But even the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry as did hers as we found ourselves standing mid aisle discussing where we've been and what we're doing these days.
She was just jaw-droppingly beautiful to me. playing with her hair. both scuffing our feet on the ground like smitten school kids. talking to her was nice, and we seemed to have a bit in common. She told me found a job in town and that she'll probably be moving back home soon. color me delighted.
Conversation halted when I received a call from my current girlfriend inquiring about where I was. (she was late, so I left) Things have gotten pretty salty between her and I as of the past few months. I love her but sometimes, most times, It's like we just cant seem to relate or agree on anything. Walking on eggshells to make sure things stay on an even keel. Exhausting to say the least.
They say thats how all relationships are, I don't want to believe that.
we hugged goodbye and I left. I didn't ask for her number. Seeing that I am a taken man and that can be construed as inappropriate. BUT I WANTED TO AND NOW I'M KICKING MYSELF FOR NOT DOING SO. | I ran into an old female friend who's moving back into town that's further straining my already strained relationship. Is my new crush a sign that I want out of my current relationship? Do I leave my relationship in hopes that my new feelings are requited? or was this just two ships passing int he night and leave it at that? HELP. |
t3_35spip | relationships | Me [22M] with my ex-gf [17F] 4 months. She broke up with me because of age, but we want to wait until she is 18 to continue. | I was dating this awesome girl for about 4 months before things went sour, I love her and she was the best girl that I have been with in my life so far, the first date felt like it was someone I had already known for years, I felt so comfortable around her and could be myself all the time. Her mom knew about our age difference and was okay with it. Her entire family knew and they all loved me, except the uncle. We went to a party for her cousins birthday, and he blew up on me about our age difference, so I left and all of his family berated him into leaving.
Fast forward a week and she breaks up with me and cites her uncle as the main culprit because he pointed out we could get in legal trouble and she hadn't realized before that we could get into trouble. We are still really good friends towards each other, we text each other and talk on the phone for hours at a time still. She will get jealous and start blowing my phone up if I post snapchats of me out at the hookah bar with my friends because she thinks I'm with another girl and she wants me to go to her family reunion with her in July. It still feels like we are together minus the physical aspect. I'm just worried about waiting for her to be 18 and by that time, having her find another guy and me be left out in the cold and heartbroken, she has expressed the same fears I have about waiting. My feelings for her are as strong as ever and will remain that way as long as we keep talking. I just fear she will move on from our relationship and I'll be left wondering what the hell happened.
I hate this because I have this sinking feeling in my chest all the time, I barely sleep or eat, I go to the gym for 3 hours a day just to keep my mind away from all this shit. | She still wants to be with me and I love her, but she wants to wait for it to be legal, do I wait or move on? I want wait, opinions/thoughts? |
t3_2p0xps | relationships | My [18M] girlfriend [18F] wants to kiss another guy. | So my girlfriend of a year wants to kiss another guy. Our relationship has had its up and downs but this is definitely a low for us. We've been fighting recently but something else gas come up.
I want to preface this by saying, she was a bigger girl when she was young but she slimmed out when she got older and is now blessed with a amazing curvy figure. However she still has self esteem issues.
So a guy messages her on Facebook they exchange a few words and he ends up telling her she's attractive. Great. Happens all the time. Except she also has an interest in this guy. She says he's older, he's successful, has a beard. And she wants to kiss him to see what its like. Just kissing nothing else.
This just does not seem like a good idea to me. We had a unsuccessful threesome in the past due to jealousy. And I think the same problems will arise if I were to consent.
The thing is she says she still wants to be with me and stay with me and be mine forever.
Is this an okay request? Or should I just nip this relationship in the bud before it gets even worse?
in
I'm just madly in love with this girl and it seems like too much for me too handle. Please help. | girlfriend wants to kiss another guy. I'm feeling conflicted about it. |
t3_yg7xh | AskReddit | What is the most elaborate excuse you've used to meet/go out with someone? | I was tired of trying to persuade one of my friends to set me up with a friend of her's (she uses Reddit, so I'm hoping she see's this).
I didn't know the friend's friend well, didn't have her number, but when I met her, I thought she was cool, and someone i'd like to know a bit better (we've all been there right?).
So, because I'm basically socially handicapped when it comes to asking girls out, I remembered that I was helping a friend with a music video, so I thought a good way to meet her was to ask if she'd like to help.
She said yes - but now, I'm meeting her to talk about a music-video, under an entirely false pretence..when it hit me, i'm in a cheesy rom-comm esque movie situation entirely of my own creation.
How about you? | asked someone out by lieing to them, when asking them out directly would've been easier |
t3_3dr5lv | relationships | She (21F) confessed some really strong feelings to me (21M) that I don't reciprocate. | I've known her since we were 13. I moved away at 17 and haven't seen her since, but we were super close. Recently, she took a trip to my state and made a stop in my city and stayed with me. Last night she just laid her heart out for me, saying that she hasn't cared for anybody like she's cared for me and the couple relationships she's had didn't even feel real to her.
I feel terrible, because we are definitely two very compatible people and she's an amazing girl. Im just scared of long distance (especially in college) and hopping into something so serious. So last night I was just super blunt and told her simply how I felt about her (she's great, etc) but that I just didn't want to be that guy to her because atm, I don't want to be with her. I told her I want her to be happy, just not with me.
How do I make this easier for her? How can I help her move on? I feel terrible, but was honest and firm in how I feel about our situation. She's really hurt. | long time friends, really close for how far apart we are. She wants to date me, I don't. How can I help her to move on while staying friends? |
t3_3cix2s | relationships | Me [ 21 M] with my ___ [20 F] of 2.5 years, left me because she wants to figure herself out, is there anyway for me to save this? | So my girlfriend, I guess ex-girlfriend now, came back from a 5 month trip abroad a couple weeks ago.
During the trip we had been fighting because I felt as though she didn't give me enough time while she was gone, and that she didn't call me as much as I would have liked.
I realize now that that was a mistake, and I should have let her enjoy her time more abroad, but I really missed her and of course hindsight is 20/20.
However, now when she's returned she says that things don't feel the same between us and she feels as though being abroad has opened her eyes to a lot of things and that she feels that she needs time to figure herself out.
We talked about it and she said she loved our relationship before, but that she's not sure that it is what she "needs" right now.
We agreed to break up and are currently holding no contact until an unforseen time in the future. She says she's not against getting back together in the future, but for me not to hold on to that idea.
I honestly really miss her and would like to have her back in my life as soon as possible.
Is there anything I can do? Other than wait and bide my time?
I was hoping to message her soon telling her that I miss her and ask if she wants to go on a small date. You know, hopefully start things up again slowly.
In my mind I feel as though being gone for so long has just made her confused about everything that's happening in her life. I'm hoping that as things settle maybe she'll realize that our relationship is worth coming back too.
Is that high hopes? Any advice for me? | Girlfriend came back from abroad and has left me to "find herself." Is there anything I can do to win her back? |
t3_1snnxf | relationships | Girl [18-20 F] singing to me in Chemistry Lab? [20 M] | I feel silly asking this, but I am not sure what was happening / if this means anything...
I was in lab last week, and it was our last lab for the semester because this week is finals week. Anyways, I was waiting for class to begin and the rest of my group to show up and this girl, from another group, who I've talked to maybe 3 or 4 times started singing to me in a cute sort of way about it being the last lab. Writing it out, this sounds stranger than what actually happened. It was actually very endearing and kind of adorable. I laughed and had a little conversation before class began.
Now I am not sure if this was a sign that she was interested in me, or her just being silly. To be honest, I don't really date and I haven't since I was a sophomore year in high school. I haven't really been interested in dating anyone since then, and I haven't really met anyone that has changed my mind about dating someone... So, maybe that explains my ignorance in this situation. Who knows, I could be a socially awkward guy who can't take hints. I personally don't think that I am socially awkward, but it is difficult to judge oneself.
Some extra details: It wasn't loud, and it was clearly directed towards me and only me. I'm a sophomore at my University.
I found this behavior strange, and I would like to know what to make of it, if anything.
Thank you. | Girl in my chemistry lab was singing to me and I am not sure what to make of it. Any guidance?. |
t3_4ihrj6 | relationships | I [20F] My dad [47M] Cheated on my mom [39F] and is leaving her. I reached out to my brother [15M] and he said is angry at me because he feels like I left him like dad did. | So my brother just broke my heart. I know that I and most sisters, hell siblings are not perfect. But you still care deeply about your siblings. I have not been perfect.
Dad cheated on mom and is not only leaving her, but he is leaving the state as well. He is leaving California to move to fucking Mexico with this woman. Mom is devastated and my brother is equally upset.
I reached out to him and he is equally as pissed as me, I mean what he said to me was totally uncalled for.
He said " Fuck you Chloe, now all of a sudden you care. Where the fuck where you when everything was happening. Oh that's right at your fancy college while I am here. Your so busy drooling over college girls (lesbian) that you turned you back on me. You left me just like dad is leaving me. I was the only dumb fuck that had your back when you came out, where were you to have mine"
The last thing I want is for my brother to hate me. I mean shit losing a sibling is a hard thing to even think about. I am going home in a couple of weeks, I mean I don't even know what to say to my brother.
My roommate said he is just upset but I don't know. I mean my family is falling apart and here I am in a dorm room. My girlfriend wants to meet my family, but I don't think that's a good idea.
Please help me I am so confused. I don't understand why he feels like I left him. I don't even know how to approach this situation | My dad cheated on mom and is leaving her. I tried talking to my brother but he feels like I left him like dad did. |
t3_3oxebe | pettyrevenge | You know you can find porn on the internet for free, right? | So I work in a small, local computer repair and sales place, and [seeing] [crazy] [shit] isn't too uncommon.
But this isn't a story about hardware hi-jinks, or software superheroism. This is a story about the pettiest, most embarrassing revenge I've managed to get on a shitty customer.
Now, in general, our check-in process for a broken (or thought to be broken) PC is pretty simple. You show up with just the tower or laptop, and any cords unique to your machine (laptop chargers and whatnot). Then I look at it, take notes on any included CDs or cables, as well as any prior damage to the machine. I take all of that information, type it up with a general description of the problem, and have you sign a waiver. Then I call back with a quote if it needs more than our $40 diag/generic issue fee.
I guess waiting while I check for damage and CDs was taking too much time for Mr. Jackass, after all, he has a schedule to keep. So I went ahead and just printed the waiver and had him sign that so he could go speeding out of the parking lot.
Now, because I'm totally a "responsible employee", I checked the DVD drive after he left, and not because I had to stick in a diagnostic DVD anyway. So I pop open the drive and [there it is,] just staring me right in the face:
[Mega Azz Risky Booty](
So I taped the DVD to the top of the case so he would know that I know his dirty habits when he picks up the computer. That's not the best part about this story though.
The best part is that his wife picked up the computer. | Watchin' porn at work. |
t3_b0gw7 | AskReddit | Are people really as excitable as they seem in game shows? | I keep the TV on in the background and I forgot to change the channel. Let's Make a Deal comes on, and I swear to $Deity, these people are having near orgasms for *everything*.
Wheel spinning to select a contestant? Most exciting thing ever!
Get to actually *be* the next contestant? Undulate wildly as if having a seizure.
Pick a case? Jump up and down like it contains an actual genie.
Someone pick your case to open? That person is a closer friend to you than your entire family, scream encouragement at them!
I just don't get it. They clearly tart it up for syndication, but I keep thinking I'm missing something here. Surely, people don't get this keyed-up over such trivialities. | Let's Make a Deal and its ilk portrey human beings as crack-embued gerbils. Is this normal, or am I just an emotionless husk? |
t3_1txi2n | relationships | Being happy with myself Sans a relationship | I (F21) ended a 2 year relationship with my boyfriend (M22) after I found out he cheated on me while drunk. I need some solid advice and strategies for how to be happy by myself. I exercise regularly I try to stay positive. I know I am young and have my whole life ahead of me. It's just challenging during the holidays without him, when I have big events or feel low I feel I need someone to share it with. So help me on living my life for myself. Keep wanting to reach out to him but have resisted. Would saying happy new year really be bad?
**bold | specific strategies for being happy alone |
t3_1igqiu | relationships | My gf [24f] gets annoyed by guys who hit on her, but still talks to them? | Hi everyone.
My gf [24f] and I [25m] have been together for a year.
Recently, she began a new job, where her coworkers have been VERY nice to her, especially a few male colleagues. Fine, no big deal. They take her out to lunch, they bring her coffee, etc. She eventually realized that they had other intentions other than being a good coworker.
The weird thing is, she comes home from work and goes, "Ugh, Rob is so annoying. He called me on the way home from work and talked for like half an hour. I don't care about your life, jeez." or "Bill's pissing me off. He's been texting me all day about how tired he is and he keeps trying to prolong the conversation."
I understand that she likes the attention. How do I gently break it to her that...1) I know she likes the attention and 2) If she REALLY finds them annoying, then stop responding to them, stop talking on the phone with them for 30 min, stop texting them all day. | gf gets hit on by coworkers, and always complains how annoying they are, but still talks to them. |
t3_skrtn | books | Can you recommend a good sci-fi short story collection where the point of each story is the exploration of a very unique idea? | I'd like something in the vein of some stories by Seteven Millhauser or Italo Calvino where the point is just to explore an extremely creative and unique idea. For example a whole city that lives under a dome, or a tower that reaches into heaven etc. Basically stories that mainly serve to showcase a bizarre idea.
After reading [this post] I got to thinking that there must be a lot of neat stories like this in the sci-fi genre.
Heck, you could pretty much even write a great short story based on almost any pseudoscientific ancient alien etc. theory out there, which are all really interesting even if not credible.
It would be great if you could recommend collections of an author's work, instead of individual stories. | Sci-Fi short story collections that focus on bizarre, unique and creative ideas. |
t3_11pck5 | AskReddit | Why are you Pro-Choice or Pro-Life? | Sorry if this has been asked before. I searched and couldn't find another like this. In the wake of the Uruguay announcement, I thought it might be a good time.
I've been debating whether to post this for months now, but downvotes be damned. Every time I think about it, I always end up back at the start-- What counts as a living child and what is just part of the female body?
I don't know if there's any pregnant woman who truly thinks that the baby in their stomach is equivalent to just another organ, but at what point does the line that separates the two cease to be so hazy?
Let me clarify: I do not believe that the government should have their hands in women's rights, but we aren't just talking about the pregnant woman's life. There's *another* life in there isn't there? I am typically fairly socially liberal, but until I get more information, I can't throw my support behind either group. I am definitely for abortion in terms of emergency situations (rape, incest, life of the mother is threatened, etc.) I just don't know otherwise. There's always adoption as well right? | Which side are you on and why? |
t3_1do8jt | relationships | Im[M25] finding it very difficult to deal with my breakup from my girlfriend[M22] of 2 years | Im an arab who has been with a jewish girl for the last two years,it was perfect we got along so well we had it all. even looking back now i cant find any moment i was with her where me and her weren't both ecstatic and happy all the time, and in the end she said she cant handle the whole hiding thing, ive been trying to convince her to talk to her parents but shes convinced they wont approve and doesnt want to try talking to them, and we broke up two days ago and i feel as though my whole world got really shaken up, i dont have any friends or close family or anyone for that matter to talk to, and i feel im going insane.. | broke up with jewish girl because of racist community and finding extreme difficulty to adjust to this new status quo |
t3_uvhps | AskReddit | Reddit, I don't know what to do without her! | Reddit,
I lost my cat today. I was moving out of one apartment and into another. I had my sweet cat shut in my room during th load out so she would get out. We made he first trip and came back to find my landlord showing to apartment to some prospective tenants. He had left our door nd the building door open. I asked him where my cat was an he was a dick and said there was no cat there when he got there (this is a straight up lie). I live in residential Brooklyn and need your help with tips in how to locate a cat in New York City. | Lost my cat, need your help to find her. |
t3_lpbx3 | AskReddit | I am currently a junior designer working my way to up to be an architect and have an opportunity to switch to a fiber engineering job that will boost my salary 150%. What should I do??? | I spent 4 years at a UC studying architecture and have been working full time at an architecture firm since graduating in 2010. I love some aspects of the field and hate others, which I feel is typical of any career. The main reason why I am seriously considering this job change (I don't want to call it a career change just yet) is purely monetary. Looking at the situation in a financial point of view, I see that if I am lucky I will make what I can potentially make at this new job in at least 5 years. This is because, as most people know, architects do not make a lot of money. Now I know that most of you will say that it's not about the money, it's about doing what you love, and that is another thing that has me confused at the moment. I can't honestly say that I am in love with this career field, but I do love what it represents if that makes any sense. I love design and creativity, which is abundant in this field and would not mind spending the rest of my life doing it. I also love the thought of being financially secure and being able to help out my parents because they have done so much for me.
I guess what I am looking for here is whether or not chasing the money is ever a good thing. I came to reddit because I know that my friends and family will only tell me to do what makes me happy, which is of no use at all. Please let me know your thoughts, thanks. | Should I change jobs, and potentially throw away the past 5 years of my life and education, to make more money? |
t3_2euerh | relationships | I [24F] really want to be friends/hang out with my coworker [27M], how can I make sure it doesn't come across as flirting? | I recently moved for my new job, and I'm still trying to get established (find a dentist, all that jazz) and find new activities in the area (social, sports, etc.). I work in a small department with a nice but very distant group that are all international hires except for myself and my coworker "Bill." Bill is very friendly and is serving as a sort of mentor for me, and we get along well. He is pretty much my only "friend" (we're not that close) in the city and he is involved in several activities I want to join (mainly a basketball group).
The only thing is that Bill is a single guy and I really don't want to come across as pursuing him (I am in a great relationship, and even if I wasn't, Bill's picture is in the dictionary under "not my type"). He is a friendly/jokey guy and I can't tell if how he treats me is normal, but I want to head anything like that off. He has met my boyfriend and I try to mentioned him occasionally, but we talk mostly about work. What are some tips for trying to get to know him/get involved in his groups while making it clear I'm not interested? I currently feel uncomfortable asking for his number/asking about his groups, but I also really want to get out of the house and have fun stuff to do (and I'm having trouble finding it on my own--it's a pretty antisocial area). | Want to get involved in social activities with my new coworker but concerned that asking for a single guy's number so we can hang out on the weekend *really* sounds like flirting. |
t3_4bpjcg | relationships | Me [19M] unable to get over a relationship that ended over a year ago | Not sure of this is the right place but basically ive never really gotten over a relationship i had over a year ago. She was my first girlfriend and i was 17 at the time (she was 16) we were together for just under a year.
The reason we broke up was mostly my fault, i was starting to become exhausted of all the arguing we started to do so i stopped replying to her texts, i avoided her and her messages for 2 weeks. It got to the point where she messaged me that she couldnt do it anymore and broke up with me. I read the text and got on with my life like nothing had happened.
But as time went on the break up affected me more and more. Well about a year later i havent really been with anyone since, ive kissed two girls that i didnt really want to but i was drunk, and i got close to one girl and it seemed we were going to get together but i just felt indifferent to the whole thing. I feel like i couldnt handle another relationship and that im not good enough for anyone, so ive stayed away from girls in a romantic way. Basically i dont know why its taken me so long to get over this relationship and why its affected me so badly with other girls | havent gotten over a breakup that happened just over a year ago and havent felt any desire to start a new relationship with someone else. |
t3_2havox | relationship_advice | [16/m] I'm in a long-distance online relationship with a girl in another state(13/f) and I want to end it, but don't know how | Using a throwaway because I'm worried she'll see this. As the title states, I've been in this relationship for about a 6 months now. By now, I realize what I thought was love was actually just crazy teenage hormones. I want to end the relationship for a number of reasons(age gap, long-distance relationships don't really work for me, she's very clingy and demands to talk all the time), but I can't figure out how for one reason: This girl is OBSESSED with me. She thinks the world of me, has told me sometimes that I'm the only one who can cheer her up, and I fear for her mental state if I leave her. I already know she isn't emotionally stable and blames herself for almost everything and beats herself up over it, and I feel like me leaving would make her blame herself and go into depression. It's also an awkward situation because I promised I'd never lie to her, and yet, I've been lying for months telling her I loved her. How do I end this without ruining her mentally? | long-distance girlfriend's obsessed with me, I want to break up, don't know how without sending her into depression |
t3_n7sxi | relationships | Bf treats me like an obligation. Not sure what to do. | My bf (28m) and I (25f) have been together for 5.5 years. We have lived together for about 4 years. I'm currently in school, but don't have a job, so he's supporting me. Previously, while he was searching for a job, I postponed my schooling to support him, so I kind of feel this is a fair trade. However, more and more he treats me like an obligation. He doesn't want to spend time with me, even when I suggest doing something he likes or having sex. He groans or complains that he never gets time to himself. I try to give him his space. I spend a good portion of my times studying or doing assignments, so it's not like I'm breathing down his neck all the time. I've been trying to do little things for him, as I know working can be stressful, but it doesn't seem to matter what I do/say, he just gets upset that I would like to spend some time with him. He spends most of his time on the computer or his phone. If I try to talk to him, he ignores me, sometimes to the point where someone else has to intervene. What do I do? I'd really like some honest opinions. I really don't know what to think or do. I love him, but this is really hurting me. | bf ignore me for computers and gets upset if I want to do something with him (even playing games or having sex). |
t3_2wb0c2 | relationships | I [25/M] think I've just discovered that my SO [23/M] began our relationship when he was still in his previous one. Help? | So I have recently (~4 months ago) started a really brilliant relationship with a new man and up until last weekend I really thought that I couldn't be happier. I knew that my SO had just got out of a long term relationship with someone he broke up with because of extreme mental health pressure, so I've never pried too far because I understood it was a difficult time for him.
However, a casual comment recently by one of his friends led to me doubting exactly how long before our relationship started, he broke up with his previous partner (full disclosure: my SO is bi, previous partner was female, I've got gay man's guilt from dating a bi man where I'm scared he'll leave me for the societally-easier heterosexual alternative - I know it's bullshit, but it's still a worry in my head).
So the other day I looked through his phone (yes, I know, bad, ok) and found the thread of their texts. IMO it's almost definite that they were still dating at least a few days into our "official" relationship - even a couple weeks after we'd got together officially, there are text exchanges about picking possessions up from each others' houses, and language used to refer to each other in the first week or so that we were dating is pretty clearly not platonic.
I struggle with anxiety and am terrified that I've misinterpreted it all and am going to ruin this relationship if I confront my partner about it, but at the same time whilst I still love him I can't bear the thought that he lied about cheating on somebody, even if I wasn't actually the victim in the situation.
Advice would be appreciated!! | SO may very well have not ended his previous relationship before starting this one, and lied about it. Don't know how to confront him. |
t3_4e2oan | relationships | (20F) mentally ill boyfriend (37M) don't know if I should be sacrificing so much | My boyfriend is a paranoid schizophrenic which causes him to be hostile, nitpicky and I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells with him. He also made me promise to not think or talk about certain views I have that are very important to me because they're too radical for him and doesn't respect my views at all.
His illness also makes him seem disinterested a lot of the time, making it even more difficult to connect. I've been extremely patient because I love him but mentally ill or not, I don't know if I can tolerate the consistent disrespect and disinterest.
I know ultimately this is for me to decide (on whether to leave) but input and thoughts would be greatly appreciated. I don't know if his condition excuses him fully for how he acts. Thanks | my boyfriend is a paranoid schizophrenic which causes him to be disrespectful including about things that are important to me, and I don't know if I can or should put up with it. |
t3_3garpg | relationships | Me [23 M] with my fiancé [22 F] of 4 years is using fake/disguised contacts. Help me find out who mystery contact is! | just recently found out she is disguising a contact in her phone. she has 2 contacts with her coworkers name in both.
the real contact has a picture in it and is a out of state phone number. (i also have her in my contacts because we frequently all go out/double date together so i can confirm its her real number)
the fake one is a local number with no contact picture that i noticed she was texting yesterday.
not sure whats going on but is there any way to match the number to a picture/Facebook profile etc. without her knowing I'm on to her? (e.g. no email notifications of syncing contacts with macbook)
i have access to her laptop and iPad frequently/right now | my fiancé is disguising a contact in her phone. How do i find out who it belongs to!? |
t3_13mfjk | relationships | Is my girlfriend (24) trying to draw a jealous reaction out of me (26) | I have been seeing my girlfriend, who is 24, for about 7 months now. We have only had a few fights and they have resulted from me making a stupid, irrational comment that expressed some kind of jealousy when i was really drunk (i.e. she talked to another guy for longer than me so i commented on it). she tends to overreact to these statements. things have been totally fantastic when we're together the vast majority of the time.
however, after one of our fights, i resolved that the next time we were together i wouldn't comment on anything she did, no matter how much it aggravated me. that night, she spent a LOT of time speaking with a mutual friend of ours and approached me several times with comments like (i really like XXX, he and i have a lot in common). i didn't see any reason for her to be making these comments. at the end of the night she was saying goodbye before we left and she leaned on him and spoke in his ear while he had his arms around her waist - i could clearly see this, and she knew i could, as i was only ten feet away and i was waiting for her so we could leave. on the walk home she said she wished she had made out with him back when she was still single.
i am just wondering if these things were intended to get me to react. i let it all roll off my shoulders like i promised myself i would but the more i think about it the more it bothers me. since that night things have been totally normal between us, no indication that she loves me any less.
WTF? | i make unreasonable jealous comments when i am drunk, i suspect my girlfriend might have been trying to draw one out of me |
t3_u2k3j | relationships | My husband has started marriage counselling, because things have been bad. Now he won't confide in me at all. ?? | Both early 30's. Children. Been together 10 years.
So as the title suggests, my husband and I agreed to have marriage counselling to help sort through some issues we are having. My husband sees the counsellor sometimes on his own, and he refuses to talk to me about what's going on for him and things he's learning or otherwise going through emotionally with his therapy. Yet, when I go alone, I tell him everything (he asks all about it) and we talk about the things I'm experiencing/learning and going through.
Our relationship is only a relationship because we talked about everything in the beginning - its why I wanted to marry him. We shared our thoughts, emotions and ideas - but he is now using the counsellor for that and is refusing to share with me. His reasons are "for privacy".
To me, marriage is about sharing everything - your thoughts, feelings, etc and supporting each other - that he is shutting me out makes me think that I should give up on our relationship entirely. I have always been 100% transparent and open with him, and I feel like he isn't. He has hidden things in our relationship for years (which is why we're at counselling in the first place) - and I don't want a relationship where we are merely sharing daily niceties - intimacy is what I want and I can't see how that's achievable if we don't share our most inner thoughts and feelings.
I thought that marriage counselling would help open him up, but it seems to be a case that he is even more hidden than he has been.
What should I do? Am I overreacting? | Husband has started counselling and now refuses to share his feelings and thoughts with me. What should I do? |
t3_2io9po | legaladvice | Own a condo i rent out, water damage | Tenant said there was a leak coming from the ceiling.
HOA said they cover all things behind the drywall and said it would be easier to use their contractor.
we pay them $2K to fix the leaking pipe in the ceiling between the units, they say it was only servicing our unit but also fixed other stuff while they were in there.
Plumber says (in writing on invoice) the pipe leaked due to flux being left on the pipe from the builder which corroded it.
HOA says they're not covering since it was our pipe. Also a main support truss needs repair and we have to fix that and pay for the permits. Their contractor estimated ~$4,500 to fix up my kitchen and repair the truss.
They said their insurance isn't covering it b/c of wear and tear and the water leaked for excess of 14 days (# of days unknown but we acted as soon as we saw the leak. Also not wear and tear)
Our HOA agreement says we are responsible for the drywall in and i am not fixing the truss, they can fix it and send me the bill and our insurance can argue over it.
HOA says we have 1 month to complete the repairs and submit proof of repair by either their contractor or licensed insured equivalent.
I told them i was fixing up my kitchen and closing up the ceiling next week and they better fix whatever they want to fix asap if they want to go through my kitchen. | Should i pay for the HOA property myself? and then file a claim w/ the invoice? or should the HOA fix it and then 'bill' me that i can submit to my insurance? HOA is saying i have a month to get the repairs done and they aren't fixing it, i have to (even though its not my property). If i dont, and i just fix the hole in my ceiling, whats the risk/legal ramifications? They are taking too long to respond and my tenant is complaining. |
t3_zffeb | relationships | Abusive ex boyfriend wants my little sister. He wants revenge, she loves the attention. What do I do? | Hey Reddit. I am an 18 year old female, and my ex boyfriend is also 18. My little sister is 15.
I broke up with him, let's call him Mike, in April because he was an abusive asshole who cheated on me. He stalked me and otherwise ruined my life for the better part of 3 months. Now he is after my little sister. She of course, loves the attention he's giving her. She thinks it's genuine, and that he likes her. Mike is known to go after young girls, and cheated on me with several of them.
My little sister will sneak out to party with him, and I heard that they kissed. This has me extremely upset because she does not consider my feelings about the situation at all. My parents are aware of this situation, and she is forbidden to see him. But she still manages to.
Reddit, I'm at a loss what to do. I am completely heartbroken that she would do this to me. What should I do? | me [18f] and ex [18m] broke up and he wants to get revenge by targeting my [15f] sister and she loves it. |
t3_35gti9 | offmychest | Every girl I've ever dated has cheated on me | Starting with my first "real" girlfriend at 13 she cheated then left me for another guy. its happened a lot since then, some girls I was dating some I was just sleeping together but exclusive none the less. I always try to be a good boyfriend but it never seems to work out. Before I continue let me say this, I come off ass a huge asshole at times, but in regards to girls it's always brought me plenty of luck. I also live in upper middle class/wealthy area were all of the girls are pretentious and all OC dads little princess. i try to be the guy girls want by listening to other girls complaints about guys and molding myself into what i think I should be. Fast forward 7 years and I've been through this same story over and over again. Most of the flings last a couple months, girls I dated around 6 months to almost a year but always the same result. I always know about they guy they tell me about him and say he is a friend. I used to get mad but as I got older I learned that also drives girls away. I remember a night with my girlfriend at the time, when she got a text from a guy and her phone was closer to me than it was to her. Just like any other 18 year old guy I snuck a peek at the front screen as I handed it off to her to see the name. I jokingly told her that her boyfriend texted her just like any other insecure teen that pretends to be completely confident would do :). She laughed and said no it was a friend and I remember at that moment I told myself I would trust this girl and not put any more effort into thinking about it or worrying in the slightest. Come 2 months later I find myself single and interrogating her friends on why this was happening. I learn that the same lad that was texting her that night had been seeing her for weeks and she had broken up with me to be with him. Fast forward a couple more years to present day after trying psychedelic drugs I recently started to wonder. Is it just me? | Me being a whiny sissy about girls cheating on me |
t3_fpfiy | offmychest | I kissed my mentally unstable same-sex friend | So, she was staying over at my house along with my boyfriend. All three of us, along with my brother, were going to have a little party, mostly because she's been trying to be noticed by my sibling. During the 'party', our parents came home, and we had to cut it short. They made us seperate by gender to different bedrooms.
Since we didn't want the party to end, she and I started trying on dresses for fun. She began undressing, and, caught up in the fun, I started watching her openly.
For some background information, she doesn't come from a very good home, no mom and an alcoholic dad who might be abusing her, she doesn't like to talk about it. She didn't really have any friends before us, so she's always been a bit clingly, and when she has a crush on a boy, she really falls hard for him.
Anyways, she caught me looking and just smiled, letting me continue. I was embarrassed and cut it out, but after a few minutes, I was doing it again. Still naked and getting shy, she tried to get dressed into her pajamas, and I looked away to give her some privacy. I slept in the bed, she slept on the floor.
I don't know when, but at one point, I woke up to her crawling into my bed. She told me she was having nightmares. She cuddled up next to me, and we tried to fall back asleep, but we couldn't. So, she and I talked about the boys, her, and eventually we stumbled into the topic of me staring, and I tried to change the subject. She persisted, and I started complimenting her, because she really doesn't know how beautiful she is. She kind of took it the wrong way, and we ended up kissing too many times to count and I got a quick chance to get my hands up her shirt. | I started fantasizing about one of my best friends, she and I made out, I felt her up real quick, I'm not interested in a relationship, but I don't want to hurt her. |
t3_11gv8z | dating_advice | Is it a good idea to date a long term friend? | I'm 22F. I've had this friend for 3 years, and though I think he's attractive, I always had a boyfriend and never gave it a try with him.
Here's the deal. I've come out of a few bad relationships, and decided that the way to go is to be more picky, and think more about the long term than "this guy is hot." (Thinking the person was hot was basically my only dating critera beforehand, not gonna lie.)
So I like this guy, let's call him Jake, because he is an incredibly nice guy, intelligent, we can talk for ages. His niceness is major reason- I feel like I can trust him, basically. On a more shallow note, he's ridiculously interesting, goes hiking all the time, our interests match a lot, I have a lot of fun being around him.
My concerns are- well. I once thought the same thing about an exboyfriend, that he was extremely sweet and I loved that about him. Long story short, he turned out to be crazy, and I mean that in a very serious, traumatic kind of way. The greatest regret of my life is being with that boy. I don't want to do that again. Do. Not.
The other thing- Jake has had a few relationships, and they've been short ones, never more than a few months. He's only 23, so I have no idea if that's a sign that he doesn't know how to hold a relationship together, or a sign of him being 23. I'm also worried it's a sign he doesn't like sex much- we've never talked about it before. He's shy around girls. I have no idea if this means he doesn't like sex very much, or if he's just inexperienced. If it's the latter, I don't care at all, but if it's the first, there's no way it would be a good idea. I know Reddit has this idea that all men like regular sex, but it's not true, and it's a major compatibility thing. | Should I date this guy, when I'm trying to avoid problems from previous relationships. |
t3_2rraw8 | relationships | I [23F] with my bf [25M] of 2 months/1year (it's complicated), i think i have immediately fallen out of love and am freaking out | I have been officially dating my boyfriend for two months. We have a complicated history, we dated before and took a long break from each other.
When we started dating again, we were both in much better places in our lives and things have been fantastic. We are able to communicate well and he is my best friend. We told each other we love each other (I knew that I loved him when we were dating before but now we were both able to express it in a much healthier way).
I just got back from the holidays this past Saturday 1/3, after traveling a lot. I was very excited to see him. When we went to bed that night, I woke up feeling weird. I felt like I had no emotions or desires sexually or mentally, towards him or anything else. We will hang out and I feel nothing emotionally.
I need to know if this is normal and I will get over it. It is freaking me out that I am experiencing this, especially when things have been going so well. We have even been able to talk about this and I was hoping after a good night's sleep this anxiety would go away. | I think I have fallen immediately out of love with my bf and i have no idea how this could have happened when things have been so great! |
t3_383suv | relationships | Me [F/22] needs help moving on from a somewhat mutual breakup with ex-boyfriend [M/22]. | Boyfriend (22) and I (F/22) ended it Saturday. We both just graduated from college, and dated during our senior year. Now, 9 months later, it's over. He's moved away for work, and I'm headed to law school in a few months. The topic of mutually breaking up arose in January, so none of this came as a surprise.
That should be the end of it, clean and simple, but that's not how things have turned out since (at least in my mind).
We have spoken briefly since he's left. We both wish to remain friends, but there is no desire to get back together romantically. However, I'm stuck on how much pain I feel. I did not anticipate being this upset.
When he and I spoke earlier today, I realized that I fell in love with him much harder than he fell for me, and he actually verbally confirmed this. He also confirmed what I had been worried about, but he had never outright said: he was never looking for anything long-term, so we both went into the relationship with very different viewpoints. I did not see any of this until now, but he had (for quite some time).
I feel very cheated by this, and dumb for loving him as much as I did, when he didn't feel the same. I'm not trying to hold a grudge, or dwell on everything that happened, but I'm not sure how to move forward. My goal is to work through all of my conflicting emotions as quickly as possible, so I can focus on myself for a change. I am just not sure how to do that effectively and in a healthy manner.
Any suggestions or tips on how to handle this? | Ex and I mutually broke up after 9 months. It did not come as a surprise, we had both discussed the end a few months prior. I am realizing our feelings were not as mutual as I thought. I am struggling to move on. |
t3_2aihax | dating_advice | I've been noticing some developements about myself.. | So here goes.
I'm 21 male, all I've had so far are long distance relationships so no physical experience at all. I did however always loved the girls so there's that. My most recent one just ended, and she was my long time best friend for over 11 years. Which kind of isn't making it easy on me. So we broke up quite dramatically, we blocked each other for over a month and we just recently started talking again. So she's having intercourse with some dude now and it still hurts me a lot. So I started searching for a girl too and I noticed something strange about me....
So here goes.
I don't like sluts, I don't like girls that would flash, I don't like girls with a lot of experience, but I want a girl that'd ride me like there's no tomorrow.
Basically I'm screwed cuz there's no such thing I think. So I'm just wondering if I'm the only one that's like this and if not how do you deal with this? Cuz it's super hypocritic of myself but I can't change the way I feel | am I gay for not liking sluts? |
t3_2xit9p | askwomenadvice | A [22/F] friend hasn't responded to a text I [25/M] sent last weekend. Do I maintain silence or try to talk things out? | Backstory (I feel weird about doing this, but there really isn't anyone I can talk about this with in my life and context might help):
Basically, there was an issue with this friend, an ex-roommate, two weeks ago when I made plans to hang out with her and she invited friends over. She intended to meet up at her current place with one of my roommates before coming over here, but due to poorly worded texts and not responding to anything the day of, my roommate thought the get together she organized was at her place instead of ours. This led to a conflict and got her kicked out that night. The next day she texted me to apologize and say that hopefully we could hang out again soon. The day after that I asked about it again and she said that she would try, but it had been a difficult week for her.
So, I waited until that following friday (a week ago from yesterday) and texted asking how her week/weekend looked because I wanted to make up for the previous weekend. I believe she was out with a couple of mutual friends at the time and probably didn't want to respond right away necessarily, so I didn't take it too personally until it was already sunday with no response whatsoever. Stupidly, I decided to send a second text asking if she got the last one. No response again.
I'm a bit perplexed by this. I've never pestered her about anything, and the last time we spoke she was the first to want to hang out again. Is there a part of this I'm missing? I want to talk about this with her, but with two texts hanging in the air like this I feel it would be too much or maybe just useless to try texting again. | Waited a week after a failed hangout to try texting about seeing each other again, but it's been a week without a word from her. |
t3_1om0y0 | relationship_advice | Is she (24/f) bored or nervous around me (25/m). Or am I reading too much into this? | Here's the story:
I (25) met this girl (24) a few weekends ago while out on the town and we immediately hit it off. We talk and find out that we have a lot of common interests and I figured I'd ask her out on a date (not something I normally do with somebody I just met). Anyhow, as the night progresses we become a bit more intimate and we end up making out. I decided to put the brakes on it a bit since I'm past the point of meaningless sex in my life and decided to call it a night. We swapped information and set a time and day for our date and went our separate ways.
Anyways, we've been out on two dates already and one of them ended up just short of sex and spending the night. We both went down on one another but decided to keep the P out of the V until we're actually committed or at least exclusive with one another.
Well last night I went on the 3rd date and we go to dinner and back to my place for a movie. Dinner went great, our dates typically go very well, no breaks or pauses in our conversations and they're always pleasant. When we watched the movie we begin cuddling but I notice that she's really fidgety. Always rearranging how she's sitting, always throwing her legs in different spots (resting hers on top of mine). She's also peeling her label off her beer bottle. There was some very like kissing/making out but I can't help but think her body language was telling me something different. A woman's perspective on this would be great because I'm pretty dense when it comes to these things. | Met a girl recently and have been out on a few dates. Been pretty intimate but both decided to pull back. She fidgets and peels her beer labels when we cuddle? Whats the deal? |
t3_3jifhy | relationships | Me (19F) with the guy (23M) I'm "dating". He overslept and missed our date, this is not the first time. Am I overreacting ? | Hi guys, I need your help since I tend to take things too personally.
So, I've been dating this guy for two months. He is a really sweet and handsome guy, he always compliments me and makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful woman.
Well, three days ago after a date, he suggested that we should went to the cinema Wednesday.
Yesterday, around 8 p.m, I texted him "Have you finished work?" . No response...
I went to bed and this morning I woke up to a text saying that he fell asleep. There wasn't even apology, nothing, just that.
He is a removal man, he works between 7a.m and 8p.m (sometimes later). I know his job is not easy and it's normal that he feels tired sometimes but who falls asleep before a date they should be excited for ? (This is not the first time he fell asleep)
Maybe he is not that interested or maybe he lied and saw someone else or he took me for granted.
I removed his number from my phone, I'm so pissed off because I really thought he was the perfect guy for me. | He fell asleep before our date, he texted me this morning but didn't apologize. I'm pissed that he didn't have the decency to call or cancel the date so I removed his number from my phone and didn't respond. Am I right? |
t3_47u3ae | relationships | I [22F] am worried about my fiancé [23M] because he sleeps for 12 hours after every 9 hour work shift | Recently my fiancé got a new job as a manager working 3rd shift (10PM-7AM). Every single morning when he gets home from his shift he goes immediately asleep and doesn't wake up until about a half an hour before his next shift starts.
At first I wasn't concerned because I understand that the schedule change from his last job (8AM-5PM) would take some getting used to, but it's been a few months and he still keeps this schedule every day that he works. He's lost almost 10 pounds because he's no longer eating regular meals, I pretty much never see him because he's always asleep or at work, and I'm left to take care of our animals and other responsibilities by myself.
I'm really starting to worry about him because I know there's no way this is healthy and normal, but every time I try to bring it up he gets upset and tells me he's just really tired from work and needs to sleep this much. How do I talk to him about this, and convince him that this is not normal? | My fiancé sleeps for 12 hours after every 9 hour night shift he has and literally does nothing else but sleep and work |
t3_2cr4hh | tifu | TIFU by sticking my dick in the vacuum cleaner. [NSFW] | This did not occur today, but about 13 years ago when I was just a young lad in middle school. I was starting to get aroused with the thought of having sex and often masturbated frequently (still do). I remember watching the first Scary Movie film, where the retarded character Doofy is caught masturbating by putting his wiener into the long metal tube of the vacuum. Fed up with never being with a girl, I figured this would be the closest feeling to a blowjob, I mean its going to be sucking me and I'm sure it would feel the same, so what's the difference right? I could even blow my load into it and nobody would ever know. I waited one afternoon when my parents were gone, probably grocery shopping or something. I plugged my new muse in, dropped my trousers, and turned it on. I did that test you do with your palm against it, you know, to see if the suction is working properly, and it was. I stuck my little Peter closer, and due to the noise of the vacuum, probably didn't hear its screams for mercy. I shoved it in and the full force of the vacuum was stuck to my surrounding pubic area. It was stuck there pretty good and wouldn't budge when I tried pulling it free. I started panicking, and turned it off probably 30 seconds in. I tugged the metal pipe free and witnessed in horror the dark inflamed skin, looking like a big bruise. I put the vacuum away and never spoke of it to anyone. | I gave myself a giant hickey on my dick with the vacuum. |
t3_1fh4qf | AskReddit | What are some healthy meals that cost less than $2? | I was working for a company making around $600 per week. I got promoted for a position that started out paying 10$ per hour but 4-5 months would gradually increase and be a way higher paying job in the long run. I took the risk hoping to eventually be better off than $600 per week even though I would eat up my savings in the mean time. Eventually my car broke down and was unfixable. I rode my bike for a while but ended up getting fired anyway. So having no income and no savings I decided to go get food stamps since unemployment would take at least 1 month to receive, IF I even get approved. Now I have $200 per month to spend on food and need some advice on how to eat well off of $50 per week.
Keep in mind $50 per week / 7 Days = $7.14 per day for food = @3 meals per day = $2.38 per meal (not including snacks outside of meal) | How can I eat well off $50 per week? |
t3_1nalun | relationships | (18M) Friendzoned by my best friend (17F), what am I doing wrong? | I have been best friends with a girl for five years now. I asked her out a few years ago, but I was turned down because she wanted to wait. Last year I asked her out and found out that she was interested in another guy. Two months ago she broke up with the guy, so last night I asked her out again; this time she told me she just wanted to be friends.
This is our last year of high school, after which we will be going to separate colleges. She thinks that all guys just want to have sex and that she is waiting until after college to start looking for another boyfriend. I tried telling her that I don't care about sex and that I only want her to know how much I love her, but she keeps telling me that I'm lying. What can I do to change her mind and make her realize that I'm not lying? | My best friend friendzoned me because she thinks all guys want sex, I need advice on how to convince her otherwise. |
t3_ncaiz | AskReddit | I NEED FINALS HELP!! I can't find a passage that I need for an essay in Ralph Waldo Emerson's Naature. Please help if you know the essay well enough or upvote so more people can see. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! | The passage(s) I'm looking for are the ones right around the transparent eyeball passage about the cyclical nature of the universe, i.e. how everything in nature both is and contains every other living thing/all life is the microcosm and macrocosm of the universe and god. Please let me know what chapter/section you think this is in so I can find it in my copy since page numbers are not consistent.
I'm trying to connect a Dickinson poem (632) about how the brain is just as big as the sky, sea and god to the micro/macro connectedness and equality idea of Emerson.
Please do what you can this essay is do at 8. I know I'm a fucker and poorly managed my time but if you can help me I would really appreciate it. Thank you so much! | If you know what chapter the transparent eyeball passage is in Emerson's Nature, please let me know. Thanks* |
t3_sgt1n | AskReddit | What's your favorite/fondest/wildest/weirdest "John Dorian Day Dream?" | Context: [John "JD" Dorian from Scrubs](
About 5 minutes ago, I was reading Lindblom's *Politics and Markets* for my Political Science class, and I lost myself in the text for a couple minutes.
I imagined what it would be like to be a Monarch in West Europe with supreme control over my country.
I was King Mbr MMCCCXXI of England, and I was presented with a terrible decision: whether or not to raise taxes on my people. At first hearing, I was vehemently for the tax-raise: our Royal Navy was in shambles after a brief, but bloody conflict with the Spanish.
Immediately, however, my chief adviser (best friend IRL) came out against the tax. He argued passionately that the English people were hungry, poor, and angry already. Straining them with another tax might bring them to revolt.
We argued heatedly, and, in a fit of rage, I sent him to his death. As he was dragged out by his heals, I could hear him screaming, "You'll regret this! Each coin you draw from the blood of your people will shorten your days!"
Then I snapped out of it. I realized this was the most epic daydream I've had since I was about 10, and I thought I'd ask you guys: what are the most interesting daydreams you've lost yourselves in? | Royal daydream is the best I've ever had. What about you? |
t3_3357ri | relationships | Me [22F]considering pursuing a relationship with my music professor [37 M] | I recently found out that my music professor and his wife had a divorce.
I've taken his class for three semesters.
Part of me is really attracted to him. He's kind, compassionate, funny, sweet, cute, and a great cook.
I'm not really sure if I should pursue a relationship with him or not. I'm scared of the consequences if he doesn't feel the same way and worried about getting kicked out of his music class. My university is fine with teacher professor relationships as long as the student is no longer in their class. If anyone has any advice or words of caution, I'm all ears. | Music professor is divorced and I'm considering pursuing a relationship. |
t3_ndpe1 | AskReddit | What's your best "It was the most inappropriate time to laugh, but I lost it" story? | For me it was helping out at a funeral with my friends. I wasn't related to the person who had died. My friend went to get a book needed for the ceremonies and thought it wasn't there. It was needed, so the service came to a halt while she frantically looked for it. I kept trying to tell her it was on the seat beside her, but she couldn't read my lips. She had this terrified look on her face, like a deer that had accidentally stumbled into a 7-11 and didn't know what the hell was going on. So she's nervously scurrying about knocking everything over. She eventually found it, but not before I had lost it. | Completely lost it in front of a funeral party. |
t3_16l1v0 | AskReddit | Reddit, what made you realize you were dating a psycho? | I was once dating this girl my friend set me up with. She was cute, didn't live too far away, and seemed nice. We went on a couple of dates, so I told her I really liked her. She calls every once in a while, so it seems to be going well. About three weeks in, we're talking and somehow arrive on the topic of marriage. I, foolishly, said that I could possibly see something in the future. I mean, you never know. Soon after, I find out I "practically proposed" that night from her friends. Then she starts calling before and after every class. 6 times in an hour. After three weeks. I begin to doubt, but I was pretty lonely before this. Now this is still pretty early, so we haven't had sex yet. But a little later, we start getting more intense. I'm having second thoughts, but my libido had overridden my intuition the last few days. I am literally moments away from sticking it in, and I go flaccid immediately. I try to, but just can't get it back up. I mumble "sorry" and dash out of the room. At that moment, I realized that I can't do it, and break up with her the next day. If that hadn't happened, I shudder to think what might have come. | My dick actually didn't let me stick it in crazy. |
t3_1gezb6 | tifu | TIFU by ordering my first vibrator | So I'm a teenage girl, and being the hormonal teenage girl I am, I decided to order my first vibrator on eBay. Well. That didn't go turn out so well, because post from China can be very sporadic and random. And so then it turns out that the package for the vibrator arrives TODAY while I'm out buying lunch.
When I come back my mom questions what it is, and I feebly argue stuff about it being a "back massager" (which is what the label said)... but no one was convinced. Let me tell you that my family is rather conservative and we NEVER talk about sex EVER. My sister shot me death glares afterwards. My mom looked disappointed and embarrassed.
I think I'll go die now. | Ordered a vibrator, the family found it, now I'm dead to my family |
t3_2y21wk | relationships | Me [24F] with my ex 23GF should i stay or should I go? | Me and my ex were together for 6 years I really believe she is the
one, she is a great girl over all and beautiful. Due to infidelity on
my part(which I regret extremely) she is no longer able to trust
me. About 7 months ago she called the quits. Since she had
nowhere to go she continued living with me and my family. During
this time she began talking to her ex bf and feelings began to rise
between them. I also began going out and having fun, once she
noticed a special girl was very interested in me she decided to stop
talking to her ex and try working on us again. I agreed but still
continued talking to the other girl. Once my ex found out she
called the quits once again. Now I have nowhere to go cus my
family is now homeless so I am now living with my ex and her
family and she is starting to talk to the ex bf again. I am not sure
if I should stay or leave and be homeless. | Ex gf and I are drifting apart but I am still in love with her, she is talking to her ex bf and not sure if I should stay or go. |
t3_g5jd2 | AskReddit | My laptop sits at ~90 - 95C and constantly overheats. | **If there would be a better subreddit for this let me know.**
It's an HP Pavilion. I have it elevated to let air flow through. There is a cooling fan underneath. I used compressed air to dust the vents. I close all useless background processes. This laptop sits at around 90C even on power saver mode with nothing running. If I want to play Minecraft I get 10 minutes before it shuts down.
I'd get it repaired if I had the money to do so and I'd also rather spend any money on a better laptop (i.e. asus or msi brand)
* I'm using SpeedFan but it doesn't allow me to change the speed of my fans.
* The BIOS is updated. As well as all my other drivers.
* Talked to HP Technical Support and they assume it would require a physical check (Which also costs money that I do not have to spend.) | HP notebooks should be illegal. Nothing has worked to keep my laptop cool (unless I stick it in the fridge.) |
t3_42bsyh | relationships | I [16M] don't feel the same about my girlfriend [17F]. | As it says in the title, I don't know if I feel the same towards my girlfriend anymore. We've dated for well over a year now and personally I feel like I've drifted away from her, yet I think she's still really head-over-heels for me. I really care for her and still want to be really good friends with her but I don't know if I want to date her anymore.
Everything was fine up until a week ago and we had a really weird week. I can't really explain it but it felt like she would get irritated and annoyed with me very easily and then in turn I would also get irritated and annoyed. We had a small fight but it ended well, and now we're back to normal. The only problem is that since that week I've noticed every single little flaw she has and I don't think I feel the same about her anymore. I'm thinking about breaking up but I don't think there's a good reason here. I just need someone's opinion on the situation before I do anything stupid.
I should add that about 5 months ago I broke up with her for about three days when I realized it was a huge mistake, and I don't want to make that mistake again.
Any advice/insight? | I don't feel the same about my girlfriend and I'm thinking about breaking up. |
t3_3j59vu | relationships | Me [25F] with my friend [25F] of 12 years are at different life stages. Need advice to help us not drift apart. | I recognize childhood best friends can drift as your lives change. Our relationship is the kind where we can always pick up where we left off. I'm having to come to terms with her life being at a different stage than mine - marriage, homeownership, baby on the way...I'm not there yet. She's become close with a woman newly married, trying for their first child. My heart is set on being there for my friend and I'm genuinely excited for all the wonderful milestones she has had and the ones she has ahead, yet I can use some advice to cope with this sense of loss. Last time we met for dinner a few months ago, we stayed over 3 hours and she didn't once ask anything related to what's new in my life. It's this disinterest that concerns me. I had plenty to share about the trip my long term boyfriend and I are planning and a my promotion at work. In her defense, I was elated to hear all about her pregnancy thus far - she had a lot to share! All in all, her life has become more and more centralized around her marriage and daughter on the way, as it should, yet if our relationship is at all a priority, I know she'll (eventually) fit us in, even if we have less and less in common. It's this void her new close friend fills.
There must be others who have gone through this. I would love your advice. Thanks in advance. | Best friend has a new best friend in the same life stage - marriage, homeownership, babies. I'm not there yet and it has changed our relationship. Need advice. |
t3_39fw28 | loseit | [NSV] Was recruited to play intramural basketball, and they wanted me to be a starter! | Me: M/25/6'0"/SW:264 CW:218 GW:185
I was at the local university gym yesterday shooting around with some of my buddies. None of us are in school anymore, I didn't even go to this school (but my wife did, so we purchased a membership). Summer intramural basketball was starting up on the other court. One of the teams only had 5 guys so they came over and asked me if I wanted to be their 6th man. I was definitely caught off guard, but agreed to play (because they allow anyone with a gym membership to play intramural sports at this school). Then, when I met the team I realized it was a bunch of guys I had been playing with for the past year, the same guys that never wanted to have me (the chubby, short, white guy) on their team last fall when I was at my heaviest. I thought to myself "great, just going to sit on the bench for the whole game." Then they really shocked me when they wanted me to start for them, and they wanted me to play for most of the game.
I'd say the most surprising thing to me was that I was able to play for most of the game then had enough energy left to go back over to the other court and play a few games with my buddies for another hour.
Just wanted to say thanks to everyone on /r/loseit, y'all are awesome! Before finding this sub I found it very hard to stay motivated, but once I learned (mostly from people here) how to spot the small self-victories and build momentum in my journey back to better health things just seem to keep falling in my favor.
Y'all are badasses!!!! | Was the "fat guy" last fall, no one at the gym wanted me on their basketball team, now the same guys picked me to start for their intramural team. I owe a lot of my progress to this sub! |
t3_omt1h | relationships | I'm becoming obsessed and paranoid about my friends. | I'm a 19 year old male student in college, and I'm starting to become obsessed with my two friends, one male (20) and one female (21).
To start off, I don't have many friends and I was essentially forced to become friends with these two people as the result of a several-month long school project. Surprisingly, we really hit it off and we formed quite the dynamic team. This was a big get for me because they seemed really cool and fun and I felt dorky and undesirable.
This started off great, but it seemed to have escalated into a really bad place. These two people are really all I think about. I have no close family or other friends besides those two, and they don't know that.
Whenever I'm not around them, I'm thinking and looking forward to the next time I will be. I think about them personally and I spend an unreasonable amount of time reminiscing and re-living our past experiences in my mind.
I'm paranoid about how they feel about me. No matter what I say or do I constantly am feeling like I'm bothering them or overstepping some sort of boundary. I am terrified of the prospect of sending them a text message or calling them or contacting them on social media websites.
When I look at their Facebook profiles and their other online activities to see their exploits with other friends, I feel extremely depressed, neglected, and jealous. | I'm obsessed with my two friends and the idea that our friendship will cease to exist. |
t3_4vtvr8 | relationships | My (31M) girlfriend (29) of three years never laughs. It is really beginning to bother me. Could you date someone who never laughs? | My girlfriend never laughs at my jokes or really anything. We could be watching a comedy and she won't laugh at all. It is really beginning to bother me.
I'm a funny guy, I can make anyone laugh except her and I love to joke around and banter. She will either make no sound or say "Oh God" when I make a joke. I've talked to her twice about this, twice! Now she might give an obvious fake laugh. Which is even worse.
I am now so bored with her and don't make jokes because I know they will fall flat. What's the point? Then I become irritable because I am bored and can't be myself.
I am pretty sure she is this way around her friends, too, from what I've see.
Could you date someone who doesn't laugh? | Girlfriend doesn't laugh. Could you date someone like that? |
t3_jgvk2 | relationships | Moving in with my girlfriend's best friend | My girlfriend and I are both 19 and going to university.
I was having a lot of trouble finding an apartment so that I could go to school without a ridiculous commute, but the prices for a bachelor or 1 bedroom apartment are pretty high for me. My girlfriend's best friend (we'll call her Stacy) said she was going through the same trouble. We talked about moving together so that the rent is bearable. We haven't found an apartment **yet** but we are currently looking for one.
Of course, we talked about this with my girlfriend beforehand. My girlfriend said she was **okay with it, but not okay with it**. She said that it would be nice to just kill 2 birds with one stone by visiting both of us, but that it's just weird to have myself live with her best friend.
It got me thinking a bit on how weird it might be if, for example, my girlfriend and I got into a fight. Or even worse (knock on wood), we broke up.
There are absolutely no trust issues on either part, and Stacy has a boyfriend as well (whom I know somewhat). I am head over heels for my girlfriend and the last thing I want to do is make her uncomfortable. I thought about how I would feel if my girlfriend were to live with my best friend, and I get the same feeling that it might be a little weird.
What I'm asking is, does this seem like a disaster waiting to happen? Or does this seem okay? | I am (most likely) moving in with my girlfriend's best friend (who's also a girl). My girlfriend says that she's okay but not okay with it. I'm not sure whether or not moving in together is a good idea or not. |
t3_1qv65d | relationships | I [24F] moved cross country to live with my boyfriend [24M] of 3 years, now I'm miserable. | I moved across the country to live with my boyfriend. We had been dating for around 2 years when I moved to be with him. Now, it's been over a year since I moved here, but I'm miserable. I love him so much. He makes every day a joy and we've discussed marriage. I can't imagine not living with him now and he's the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I am miserable in our current location.
I miss my family who are having a variety of health issues right now (all okay, but still wish I could be there). I miss my friends. I miss weather and 4 seasons. It sounds crazy, but I cry when I think about rain and deciduous trees at this point and I just do my best to pretend that snow never existed to begin with so that I can't feel that pain. I miss feeling like I had a place to belong in and a place that I was comfortable in.
I never would have moved here of my own accord, but I chose to do so to be with the person I love. If I moved away from him, I think that I would be equally heart-broken. I don't know which pain would be worse. I accepted that homesickness would be a part of the process when I agreed, but after over a year of being miserable to the edge of depression at times I was hoping that things would get better. I seem to go back and forth. I am very happy spending time with my boyfriend, but everything else seems to be crushing me. I have not had good luck with making friends over the past year and the miserableness is not particularly helping that.
I wish I knew what to do. I want to make this work. He is only here until he's done with school (another 2-3 years) and then he wants to return as well. I'll probably go elsewhere for my grad school for a year or two during that period, but I still have at least another year to survive here. Help please? Or am I just way in over my head... :( | Moved across country to be with boyfriend. Hate the place and feel miserable and lonely, but want to make it work. Help? |
t3_2kbt17 | tifu | TIFU by ignoring my cat. | Sorry for the wall of text as I am on my phone. Anyways this happened yesterday. My cat loves attention but hates being ignored. He will often get aggressive by batting or nibbling on exposed flesh. He has claws but chooses not to use them, and after this incident I thank god for that. After taking a shower I was drying myself off when he asked for attention. Knowing petting him with wet hands would piss him off I planned on ignoring him until I was dry. So hear I am, standing naked in the shower, towel drying my hair, and the fucker jumps out of nowhere and BATS THE SHIT OUT OF MY COCK. Three times in a row. I preceded to do an Irish jig in an attempt to save my life, and landed on my ass covered in bathroom accessories that are kept in my shower. | ignored my cat while naked in the shower, and he decided to use my cock as a speed bag. |
t3_44x1oj | tifu | TIFU by polishing my band | My watch band was looking a little bit shabby after a few months of wear, and I was looking for solutions.
After a bit of browsing I came across a few posts on a forum about using shoe polish to liven them up. As you all know if you see something on a forum you have to give it a shot. In my stupid mind I thought "Damn, something I can do with the shit lying around in my house, Great!" So the next day I get started, I sandpaper down the leather, wash it down, and prepare it for the polish. I apply the polish and the band looks fantastic! I go on to spray it with a leather protecter, and leave it to dry.
The next day the band looked to be dry, and the once grey band had taken on that glorious mahogany brown that I was looking for! Great Success!
You might be thinking where did you fuck up?
Well after wearing the watch a day or two my wrist begins to hurt a bit, I thought nothing of it, thinking it just to be the tightness so I loosened the watch a slot. The next day the pain had not subsided, so I removed my watch...
My hair was gone, left in the wake was a shiny red-pink patch of splotchy strands in a sea of death. The hair that survived the onslaught looked thin and straggly.
I am pretty sure that I had some sort of reaction to the elements in the polish, which made my wrist look like a baby's ass.
Well shit | Polished watchband with shoe polish, burnt off wrist |
t3_3isjc5 | relationships | Need some outside perspective for me (M24) and girlfriend (F20). (No initiative/Boring) | Background: We have dated for 2 years now. She is in college and I just graduated this past May. We both are in the education field. I didn't get a full time job, but will be subbing in 3 different districts.
About 3-4 months ago I told her that she needed to show more initiative in our relationship (including sex). Before this I didn't initiate sex once to see if she would start something. Never did. It lasted for a good 2 months and then I spoke up. She has gotten better with initiating sex, if I tell her earlier in the day that we should make love. She can never make a decision or suggest something to do. It seems like I always come up with date ideas or what we're doing for the night, and I hate that. Most times we would just end up on the bed watching some lame show. Another thing, after about 6 months of dating her, I've noticed she's stopped hanging out with her friends. She's mostly at home watching some dumb reality show.
This may sound selfish (and probably is): but she got me a gift card and lawn chair for my birthday...on the day of my birthday. It's like there is no care coming from her. Sometimes I feel like this relationship is fake. We don't even celebrate our 1st and 2nd year anniversaries.
Some days I just want to get rid of her. I wanted an outside perspective to see my relationship from another view. Suggestions? | Girlfriend of 2 years sucks at initiating things in our relationship and is becoming boring. |
t3_3haxv3 | relationships | Fat's Damn Near Gone (from 300 lbs to 195) Now It's Time To Gain Social Skills | I was directed here by a fellow redditor, /u/littleorangemonkeys from /r/keto
I know this is kind of an unusual post for this subreddit, but /r/ask doesn't allow "personal" questions, and I'm not aware of any other subreddits that this would fit into... **If you know where I should go, please let me know!** Now - onto the question:
As per posting guidelines - I am male, 30 years of age. Interested in interacting in other males and interacting with/dating other females from ages of 20 to 40.
I've always been socially awkward - having been 300 pounds with no confidence, hearing impaired - as in hearing aids and sign language ( | Socially awkward - seeking counseling/coach. |
t3_1w7x2f | relationships | I [m,33] am going to talk with my parents about my girlfriend [f, 29] of a different culture. Dating for more than 1 year. Need some advise | My parents have been against my relationship since the start. We have been dating for over one year and are planning to get married in the future.
My parents are old world East Indains that are not happy with my Chinese girlfreind because of the culture differneces. My parents take a long time to adjust to situations and frequenly get dramatic in new situations **(in the past my dad has thrown plates, started crying and run out of the room slamming doors. my mom has attempted to kill herself. both parents frequentally bang their head to walls when mad)**. So I have invited my uncle to dinner when I am visiting my parents to get his help in talking with them. My aim is to let them know that I am going to to continuing dating this girl and they should not be dramatic or inapporiate about it. | What is your advise for talking with darmatic parents about a cross cultural relationship |
t3_478mgh | relationship_advice | I [38M] am married to my wife [32F] since 10 years. My entire personality is what she hates. Need help. | We have a 5 year old son. We've been living together but we hardly talk to each other. There are no/minimal fights (because we don't talk about anything).
Her priorities in life are: our son, herself and her career. She never thinks about me for anything.
She is my first priority in life. Anything that I think of, I keep her on top of my priorities.
I am not sophisticated, which is what she doesn't like in me (majorly).
Is there a chance of me convincing her?
What's the best way forward here?
I really want this to work out. | wife doesn't show interest in me. I really want to work this out. |
t3_lprmo | AskReddit | Reddit, I never expected to be a vigilante, but I'm going to have to protect this middle schooler before something happens. What should I do? | As me and my friend (both 16) were riding our bikes through our neighborhood while the middle schoolers were released, we noticed a single boy with curly hair and glasses being pushed around and called names by a large group of racist students. The kid was crying, but we were high and had no plan to help, let alone the fact that there was about 8 of them. I was completely outraged, seeing as I was bullied during middle school and my friend had seen this happen on other days when he was on his way to my house. I can't help but take action, whether by intimidating the children away or by using gentle force, I can't stand to see the iniquitous people of this world harass this kid every day like that. I wouldn't want to alert adults as doing this, at least in my experience, just made my reputation much worse and made me many enemies.
What's the plan, reddit? | Kid is being bullied, and it pisses me off. What should I do to help? |
t3_noqmh | AskReddit | Live with mom? or dad? | Hey guise i got a dilemma here, really the only reason im asking is because im a moralfag and im afraid of choosing one:
Live with my dad and possibly sister, they are both cool, will let me nerd out on my comp all day if i choose to do so and my dad never yells at me really.
Or live with my mom, i doubt i would be happy living with her, she is easily irritable and usually talks shit about my dad and his family (grandparents) and she gets emotionally unstable every time my dad goes on a weeks vacation.
Now i obviously want to live with my dad, but i cant choose between one without hurting the other, and like said im quite moralfaggy and dont want to live with the regret/guilt. If i live with my dad, my mom would get all pissed and (hopefully never talk to me again so i domt feel guilty) constantly make me feel guilty. And if i live with my mom i will feel like a dick for basically flipping my dad the bird. I know this sounds ridiculous obviously you guys would dad over mom if in this situation. The problem is shes expecting me to live with her, this is why it feels awkward everytime i talk to her, she is planning all these projects and saying we should go on vacation and stuff just making it even harder for me to say no without feelig EXTREMELY bad about it. I dont want to live with her, but dont want to hurt her by saying no. And dont want to say no to my dad and hurt him, as i would likely never see him from that point on till im 18. | Man up and tell my mon to fuck off or be a moralfag and live with my mom so at least i dont feel bad |
t3_3er9xy | relationships | My [21/f] boyfriend [21/m] ex-girlfriend sending him letters while he's at boot camp? | I'll just set the scene a little bit...
It's boot camp but he gets a few free hours every weekend where he can use his phone/take visitors. They broke up a year ago and they only dated for 4 months. We're dating for 9 months now. His closeness with her has always been a problem for me. He keeps saying that she is "just a friend" and she "didn't do anything wrong so why cut off a friendship with her."
I just don't think it's appropriate for her to have the address to send him letters. I'm sick of hearing this "you don't trust me" shit from him. It's not that I don't trust him, it's that the act in itself is wrong. I could dress like a stripper and go out to a bar and "not do anything" but it would be disrespectful to the relationship and disrespectful to him. Am I going to wait until he's laying in bed with her and "not doing anything"? I treat this relationship with so much respect, not flirting with other guys, not going out as much as I used to because I know it makes him uncomfortable- Meanwhile he gives his ex his boot camp letter address. Maybe he doesn't need me in his life since he has her? The whole situation is just turning me off and making me not want to be with him. Perhaps I should go around doing whatever I want, as long as I don't kiss another guy, and tell him he "doesn't trust me" when he gets upset. I used to be fun and free. I used to go out dressed like a hoe and do whatever I wanted. I used to take bikini pictures in my mirror like a tool lmaooooo but I stopped! I never wanted to be the girl who's "jealous of the ex-girlfriend" in a relationship. | Would you break up with your boyfriend if he had his exgirlfriend writing him letters at bootcamp? |
t3_10og5j | relationships | Boyfriend [22M] hasn't read love letter/looked at 1 yr gift. Am I [19F] justifiably upset? | So my boyfriend is 22 & I am 19. I know, it sounds weird but it works. For our one year, which was about two weeks ago now, I used a small leather notebook to write out one thing for every day of the year for him to read. Little things like 'I love you because..' to small sketches of inside jokes. The idea was he looks at one entry each day we're apart, considering we're in a long distance relationship and see each other about every other weekend. It also included a love letter which he could read at any time.
Now I can understand if he misses a day or two in a row, but he literally hasn't read any of it yet. Some are very specific entries like 'the first day we're apart' & I feel embarrassed and upset now. I worked very hard on this and he still hasn't really looked at it. I tried to brush it off when he said he'd read it that night when I mentioned it, but he didn't look at it even when he said he would. I don't want to feel like I'm putting an unwanted burden on him, I thought he'd like it.
So my question is, am I being a psychotic girlfriend or is it rational that I'm kind of upset about this? | Gave boyfriend love letter/daily journal entry combo for one year anniversary in a long distance relationship & he hasn't looked at it, even when he said he would. Am I a crazy girlfriend? |
t3_1ta8qi | self | Accidental Secret Santa | Someone I know in real life tricked me into a secret santa exchange among people I've only met once or twice and now I'm freaking out about what I'm going to do.
She only meant well by getting me into it because I'm reclusive and really do need to socialize more, but now I'm worried about messing up. I don't want the giftee getting a crappy gift just because I have next to no clue who she is. I feel like it is incredibly unfair and I don't know what to get... | Mistakes were made, and I am supposed to get a gift for a stranger. |
t3_3flqsz | relationships | I [22/F] need advice about [23M] friend crashing at my house. | I will try to keep this short. Basically, my friend recently has his grandma pass away. He has no other family, and has lived with her a vast majority of his life. She was the closest relationship he had. He got the house taken away, and very briefly was staying in a car with his girlfriend, who then cheated on him. Since then, he has been crashing wherever he can. This has all happened over the last 2 months.
So my boyfriend and I have a small one bedroom apartment. We have a hard time buying food/paying rent each month, but we manage. I had offered for the friend to crash on our couch sometime if he needed to.
The friend has now been here close to a week. We originally assumed it was a one-night thing, and then he seemed to assume it was a "however-long-you-need" thing. He has been very nice and non-intrusive, but it's starting to be too much for my boyfriend. On top of that, our landlord lives across from us, and our lease specifies that a guest can only stay 1-2 weeks before they need to sign a rental agreement.
The friend has nowhere to go. He just got a part time job, but otherwise has nothing saved. He has no family, and very few friends. My boyfriend had to couch surf for about a year in/after high school, so he knows what that is like. He thinks that the friend needs to just figure out how to manage and not rely on other people, because that's what he had to do. He felt lazy and like he took advantage of people letting him crash at their houses, and doesn't want to see the friend make the same mistakes. I do want our space back, but I don't feel comfortable kicking someone out to sleep on the streets just because we are uncomfortable. He does not have a car. I don't know how to handle this. | Friend went through shitstorm of painful experiences, ends up homeless. As last resort, he asks to crash with us. We assume one/a couple nights, he assumes indefinitely. If he doesn't stay with us he will probably sleep on the streets. What do we do? How do we talk to him about it? |
t3_28y4f5 | relationships | Inexperienced Me (22m) vs experienced her (24 f). How do I get over this? | I am in my very first relationship, and in the 1 month that we've been dating everything has been fantastic. She's dated several other guys and although she reassures me that I'm doing everything right and always talks about how good I am for her, she said something today that I'm having trouble shaking.
We were out eating and she mentions that she is still friends with some of her exes, and as I am not a possessive person am totally OK with that. But then the conversation carried on and on about exes and seeing that I have had no prior relationships this conversation was frustratingly one sided. I mentioned this and she quickly apologized and ceased talking about it.
As we started getting physical once we got back to my place my thoughts lingered on how she talked about her exes and I was a little gunshy which only furthered my anxiety as I kept thinkjng about how I was stacking up.
I know she cares about me and i know this line of thought is unhealthy but I'm having difficulty getting over this. Anyone been in this situation before? How did you deal with it? | having trouble getting over her having exes while being in my first relationship |
t3_44sl0k | college | Professor doesn't specify requirements for final project, then gives me a zero grade for a mostly complete project | One of my professors last semester was a real blowhard. His lectures were rambling and confusing, and he never outlined in very specific terms what he expected from his students. The final project was to be done in a Microsoft Project file, but he also wanted some other things, such as a project statement and list of stakeholders, which were separate from the main Project file. The most he would tell me about how to tie the whole presentation together was "don't worry about the details." As such, when it came time to hand it in, I was missing a few things, but it was as complete as it was going to get.
When it came time for the final grades, I found that I had gotten a "D" for that class. I later found that my professor had emailed me (on the college email account which I seldom check) concerning my final project. I had assumed he had lost the project after I handed it in. I asked him if that was the case and when he finally got back to me, he told me that he gave me a zero grade for the project because it was incomplete. I emailed him the other parts of the project, but I feel rather cheated since my project would have been complete if he'd been more specific. Since he got the project, however, I'm not sure if I can go to the dean and have my grade changed. | Got zero grade for mostly complete project, may or may not be my fault |
t3_1nbksi | Pets | What are some nicknames you have for your pets, or funny things you say/do to them? | Sometimes our 3 year old domestic short-hair (Maverick) likes to walk around the house and meow loudly for no reason, so we meow right back at him, which causes him to meow even louder. It's like a shouting match. We also call him Mowzer when he does it, and ask him why he's mowzin'. We have a 1 year old pug and an 8 month old corgi named Goose and Viper (respectively) but I call them Bubba and Bay-bay (also respectively). I also like to sing songs to them, but change the words so it's about them...I used to have a cat named Pepper, and I would sing the Ricearoni jingle to her but call her Pepperoni. | I say and do weird shit around my animals, I'm sure I'm not the only one. |
t3_3vdqa7 | relationships | Me [22M] stayed the night at my ex's (sort of ex) [23F] lived together for nine months then broke up (room mates turned lovers), where do I stand? | Back ground is this. Me and this girl used to live together and we started to sleep together. There were definitely feelings between us but it ended up moving way to fast, we started fighting and she fell back on we were never official and it was just sex.
6 months later we have started talking again and hung out a few times. We have been really getting along talking on the phonw for hours at a time.
Last night we were at drinks at a mutual friends and we were really clicking flirting lots of touching. We left and ended up back at her place talking flirting more. I wasnt going to try and rush in and mess things up to much so i wasnt or do anything to quick due to our history.
She has then suggested we head to bed. She goes into her room i go to join her as i used to then. She has just said no thats not happening.
I played it cool pretended i wasnt rejected (i totally was cut) laughed it off and slept on the couch.
At the moment im super confused as to what she wants or if i am ultimately friendzoned or something. She is never the kind of girl who is afraid of sex but turns it down if she doesnt want it.
Why question over all is what is going on? where do I stand? Is this slow steps to try and rekindle something? Or am i epicly friendzoned sleeping on her couch. | Been clicking with my ex lately flirting touching ended up back at hers. Got told not sleeping with her ended up on the couch. Still on the couch as I post this. Whats going on? Where do I stand? |
t3_3mqsnl | Advice | Excuse to give boss for delaying pre-employment piss test? | So basically, I am a homeless 20 something trying to get my shit together. I just secured a place, and even though I lost a site (I work security, and the site I was posted at had removed me when my car broke down with my ID inside of it), I am now on the track to getting a better paying site. But, the site I would be transferred to is an armed guard position that requires an urine test. I have been smoking a lot pot in the past month. Partying has literally been one of the ways to keep me alive (as crazy as it sounds, you meet some cool frat kids in CO, and they usually don't mind letting you stay over, especially if you're going to get them high out their brain).
Once i got the job offer, I came over to /r/trees to get some detox info (fucking love that guide in the sidebar). But, to have the necessary time to detox (or at least the time I can afford) I had to delay the piss test by almost 5 days now. Now I am getting emails from the district recruiter, in regards to my training. Which is fine, but I am getting the feeling that he is going to inquire about the test and why I haven't taken it. I was going to go with the "Sick with Salmonella," excuse but I haven't found enough information to support being out of commission for a week.
So the question, I pose: does anyone have any good excuses for delaying a piss test? Has anyone gone through something similar? If so, what did you guys do and how did it work out ?
Much thanks and love goes out to all who answer! | Excuse to give the district recruiter for delaying a piss test ? |
t3_hdyqv | AskReddit | I think a friend of mine is being coy; should I call her out on it? | Backstory : I've known this girl for a few years, we first met through a class we were both taking. At the time, there was some drama with a mutual friend, but we kind of moved past it. We hooked up briefly (nothing super serious, just messing around) a couple years ago, and then grew a bit more distant. This year, though, we've been hanging out/talking a little bit more. Recently, we hooked up again, after going out for drinks. Summer's coming, probably not going to stay super close, but she and I kept saying stuff like "hey we should get lunch sometime." Now, I'll try and talk to her and she'll either not respond at all, or respond days later with a "Sorry! Yea, I'd like to hang out, let me know when!" Then randomly she'll message me *back* and say "We should hang out!" [and not necessarily, though possibly, drunk messages, usually in the afternoon or early evening].
My question then is thus; I feel like there's some dumb mind-game I'm missing here. I mostly want to hang out and talk to her, as she and I will be parting ways soon (graduating from school); if she wants to keep hooking up, I'm also down. Do I call her out, along the lines of "Hey, why can't we seem to connect?" or more passive aggressively "Why are you ignoring me?" etc? Call it a lost cause, and forget about her unless she comes knocking? I don't want to be a douche, or seem whiney, but I just don't really know wtf is going on. | Girl and occasional hookup has been playing "hard to get" or something dumb, not sure what to do: do I play into it, or put a stop to the bullshit? |
t3_39ubjq | personalfinance | Just found out after months of work on buying a house that I got approved for the main loan but not the DPA loan. Have a week at most to come up with the down payment. | So on top of that which was in the title let me explain my situation.( fair warning I am on mobile)
I started off early March looking for a house to buy with a CHFA loan with down payment assistance. The reason I started looking was my mother's wonderful landlord dropped off the face of the earth, never paid his mortgage and caused her house to go into foreclosure (lived there for 15 years) while he was collecting a overpriced amount of rent for a run down property. I have been working non stop for 5 years at my current job and had some money saved up when I found out what happened ( I was living with my girlfriend at the time ).
Now I find a house that has enough room for me and the gf, as well as my mom and sister. Go through the paperwork send stuff back and forth. Have to pay more and more random fees which I was expecting. Now we had to wait for fha to approve the loan, I was told that everything looked fine time and time again.
Now comes to yesterday I find out that the loan company approved the loan for the house but not the down payment assistance which covered closing costs and the 3.5% down payment.
The old house has been in foreclosure for a while and were down to the last week and its getting to the point where we are scared of getting locked out ( I moved back in to help ).
Now my mortgage broker wants 3.5% (6000$) and closing costs (9000$). I was told that closing costs can be covered by raising my interest rate from 3.0% to around 5.25%.
Now I have to try to get all the money from my 401k and savings just to attempt to get the down payment...what do I do. Sorry for the long post | Previous landlord never paid his mortgage so family was getting kicked out. Now I'm getting told last minute that I need to cover the down payment with no notice |
t3_1m07d4 | dating_advice | Dating advice- finding the right time/words- basic | Hi,
I've recently met this girl (21) at a few parties, an we really seemed to hit it off. Never anything more than heavy flirting, but definitely some chemistry.
Anyway, due to a busy summer for both of us (her best friend lives in the flat next door, so I've seen them for drinks on other occasions too, but we've never since managed to get any real conversations due to too many friends/people around. I still get the impression that there is some chemistry, but as time goes on I wonder if I'm just misinterpreting her- *I've made this mistake before*), we haven't seen each other in over 3(ish) weeks. I feel that if I called now i would come across as some sort of creeper. But when would be the best time? And is the best way *really* just to say something along the lines of "would you like to go for a drink with me sometime soon?"
Please excuse bad grammar/ literacy in general | Recently met a girl, been a while since we last saw each other. Never asked anyone on a date before. Feel out of my depth, and not sure how to approach the situation next. How do you know a it's a 'good' time to ask someone on a date? And as someone who often struggles to find the right words, what is the best way to actually ask? |
t3_38i2f8 | tifu | TIFU by mispronouncing a name | Okay, so this actually happened today, as I was talking with a friend about fighting games, and he speaks Japanese, while I'm still learning the basics of the bloody language (Side note: Fucking Kanji). Also note that we're both guys. While we're talking I meant to tell him the name "Daisuke" because of a dev of a certain game, but I forgot that the japanese language has a different pronunciation than English and I ended up thinking that the U is mute and pronouncing the E as an I in Ski, so he understood that I told him the words "Dai Suki", which mean "I love you" or something. When I said those words he turned beet red and now he won't speak to me. | I mispronounced a name and my friend thinks I have feelings for him |
t3_34zw3q | tifu | TIFU by playing with soccer nets | This didn't actually happen today, but many, many years ago when I was in 3rd grade, I think 2001 or 2002. The school had just gotten some soccer net frames that for a while were just down to bare metal. I liked to play on them during recess, since there wasn't a jungle gym on the school's playground, and the back end made a great balance beam. For a while it was pretty fun, and other kids joined in too.
But one day it all changed. The soccer net frames seemed a bit different for some reason. I thought nothing of it while I was playing on it. Then soon my teacher runs over yelling at me. He tells me to get off of there because the frames got painted white and they were drying. He makes me go to the classroom for the rest of recess as punishment.
This is where I FU. As I was walking back to the classroom I tried to tell my teacher I didn't know I couldn't play on the frames. However, he wasn't paying much attention to what I said, and thought I was cussing him out under my breath. This made me lose recess for the whole week
To add insult to injury, I also had to go to the counselor's office with the other "troubled" kids at random times during the rest of elementary school. Some kids just stopped talking to me, and tried to stay away in case I tried to make them say bad words. My reputation in elementary school instantly became the childhood equivalent of a rapist. | I tried to explain to my teacher that I didn't get warnings about not playing with stuff and became a convicted school-wide criminal. |
t3_1lqiot | relationships | Me [27M] with my ? [31F]. Are we going to fast? | So, I left the '?' up there, because even I don't know what going on. I met this girl in a club and we've hit it off quite well. The obligatory adding to the Facebook and such. Turns out that she's a church-going girl and not too keen on going out to clubs and such. Self-employed, college graduate, a looker, etc.
Now, last week, I ran into her in the supermarket parking lot. We said hello, a hug and a peck on the cheek, exchanging pleasantries. Since then, we've been talking and "getting to know each other", via FB.
Now, my issue is that she's been using "darling" and "honey" and sweetheart". It was all good and well, until she dropped the "mi amor (my love)" bomb on my. This made my PTSD (from a previous relationship) tingle and cringe.
Just to clarify, my previous relationship was a total nightmare, which has not ended yet (there is still a matter of a lawsuit). However, I wouldn't like to screw up a possibly good thing, just because of the ghost of bitches past. At the same time, due to the scars of the past, I'm looking at to many red flags, that could be just my imagination. | met girl, getting to know girl, dropped the big one today (mi amor). PTSD (from previous relationship) dropping all kinds of red flags up in here. Should I be worried? |
t3_2plzh6 | relationships | Me [19F] Lack of interest? | Okay I figured I'd ask people I don't know about this. I'm a complete and total virgin to the point I never had my first kiss. Which I'm okay with that doesn't bug me. What bugs me is that I never liked anyone. I've had a lot of people ask me out but I turned them down because I didn't feel anything for them. I don't have ridiculous standards if anything my friends and family said I need to look for more in a so. But I can't help but think something is wrong with me if I haven't liked anyone. I feel like I'm gonna be single for the rest of my life at this rate. | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_2aj1pk | tifu | TIFU by buying condoms | For reference, I am a male. Yesterday I walked into CVS in the late afternoon just to get a couple things. It wasn't too busy, but the was a small line of 5 people or so. Being that it was my dads birthday, I wanted to pick up a happy birthday card. I quickly picked the most generic looking one and opened it. A small pop-up car protruded from the surface, and impressed with my nifty find I then moved on to purchase a small box of condoms like every other time I make a convenience store run.
I walk up to the cashier I hear a couple sniggers. I figured it was the condoms since I'm only 17, but nonetheless I proceeded to pay and exit. When I opened the bag in my car I realized I had laid out a card that stated:
"Happy Birthday Dad!! Boy do I have a surprise for YOU..."
I also realized that when I was checking out, I had laid the condoms next to said card. Hahaha. | don't bother it's not that funny |
t3_feotl | AskReddit | I think I might be falling in love with my second cousin. | So here's the deal. A few months ago my long-lost second cousin and I started talking. I'm in my mid-20s and she's 18. Our families used to interact when we were much younger, so my memories of her are only from a really young age. We just recently reconnected online, and it turns out we both appear to be perfectly matched for one another. It's really kind of mind blowing -- so much so that I constantly forget that we're "related" (quotes help me downplay my helpless feeling of guilt).
We'll be seeing each other soon, and it's not exactly under the context of romance, but who knows. Here's me: A well-educated, cosmopolitan, working professional living in a major city. So there's that. Which makes me feel even weirder considering I'm not from a tradition of inbreeding (that I know of). Really, if you had asked me at any point if this was possible, I would have laughed and made some joke about rednecks and West Virginia (sorry, WV, I know it's not really like that).
As someone once said before he got cut off by his father, "I'm wrestling with some pretty taboo" shit here. I don't really have anything against these feelings per se, and my moral compass really isn't spinning in one or the other direction. In fact, the only obstacle I really feel is the potential ostracization of family, but even then, I'm not all that close to my family and I tend not to place much importance on what they think just by virtue of being related by blood.
So I don't really know what I'm asking here. When I was intoxicated last night, I googled some stuff on this subject, and found out that it's not actually illegal anywhere in the US to have this kind of relationship. Also, apparently Rudy Guilani's first wife was his second cousin! Part of me feels like a giant creeper, the other is hopelessly smitten. Oh, and she's gorgeous, funny, intelligent, enjoys the same music, and a billion other things that are crucial. | talk some sense into me, one way or the other. |
t3_2jfb75 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my __exgirlfriend_ [17 F] 20months, suddenly broke up with me | So I'm coming to reddit to rant a bit because honestly idk what really happened. I have been going out with my now ex-girlfriend for about 1 year and 8 months. Yes we had our differences sometimes and fought like any other regular couple. I was her first and she was my first everything...
So 3 weeks ago she went to some school gathering thing with three other schools on a Friday and we had a totally normal weekend and week , on the next Friday out of nowhere she asked for a break saying we were too young to be dating and should go out and explore. I was totally caught off guard because she always was the one to say that going out didn't matter to her and how she was perfectly happy staying just with me. I was shocked and didn't really know what to say. Throughout the week she would say stuff like:" Do you miss me? ""I've been thinking about getting back together but don't know if it's too soon".
On Friday she asked to get back together if I promised I would be more romantic. So we did but she was acting really different and weird. The next day there was another school thing with the same three schools. As soon as she got home she said we should break up because she doesn't know what's she's feeling and doesn't know if she still likes me. I felt heartbroken, I know I'm young but I could see us together for the rest of our lives.
I have been trying to go no contact as much as possible but I made the mistake of checking her Snapchat score and seeing that there was some guys name as her top score. I confronted her about it and she said she's getting to know him better and that they met at this school thing. I feel betrayed that someone that was saying they would love me forever 3 weeks ago could do something like this . I really don't know what to do anymore… I'm thinking she cheated on me with him and broke up with me to be with him, and it hurts, a lot... I can't stop thinking about her and us , and i just feel stupid.. | Girlfriend randomly asked for a break , i think she might of met someone new. |
t3_1d3789 | relationships | Why can't we have sex?! | So I've been seeing this guy he's 22 [M] and I'm 20 [F]. I have had 5 sexual partners and he hasn't had any, which is fine, no judgement. However, we have tried to have sex twice at this point, everything will be going great and then literally the second before somethings about to happen [oral or otherwise] he goes completely limp [he also hyperventilates a little]. Prior to trying anything I told him that I just wanted him to be comfortable, that I had no expectations that he had to uphold, and not to worry about me. He told me he understands that I am not putting pressure on him but he just can't get out of his head enough to make this happen. I told him that it wasn't a big deal and that there was no rush but he seems really discouraged. I've never had sex with a virgin, so I'm a little at a loss for what to do in this situation. Does anyone have any ideas? | My boyfriend and I can't seem to have sex |
t3_vh4z1 | relationships | We are 21, go to the same college, been together for 5.5 years, and Now I dont know what to do, i think I am losing her, what should i do? | I've been with this girl since we were juniors in high school. I could have played division three soccer so that I could be with her. I joined the only college that we both got accepted to simply to be with her (i hate the college).
She means everything to me, but i took her for granted. We both got into the groove of things and then she got drunk one night and cheated on me. I partly blame myself for being so lazy and losing track of what was important.
She wants me to be more romantic, and I want to do that for her now, but i am afraid that it is too late. Shes gone now, because we decided to be away from eachother until she comes up with a definite answer about what we should not with our relationship. What should i do? Should I wait for answer? I was thinking of dropping off her favorite flower on the front door of her house (maybe with a poem i made? I already made 3) for every day that she is gone.
AMA if you want to know more about what is going on between us, i want to know what you think, reddit. | she kind of cheated on me, though she says she cant really remember, we are trying to build this relationship back up, but i dont know what to do anymore. I need some advice. |
t3_46hi4g | relationships | Me (23F) with my bf (23M) of 3 years: I want to get a tattoo, but my bf isn't comfortable with what it is of. | I want to get my first tattoo of my favorite musician, who has been my favorite for over 3 years now even before I knew my boyfriend. I wanted to get a tattoo of one of his album covers (it was his face, but I wanted it because I enjoyed that album), but when I brought it to the tattoo shop they said it was too big for the area. Ok, so I settled on another tattoo from a different album's art from the same artist.
When I showed the picture of what I was gonna get to my boyfriend, at first he was upset (he's always thought I had a thing for this artist) but then he said he was overreacting because it was just a representation of a specific song I liked. But then I told him my first choice was the album cover of the artist himself, he got upset. He said that was completely different. He was also upset that I never brought up these tattoo ideas before, I had only showed him other ones even though I've always wanted these.
Is he overreacting or do I just not see that it is inappropriate? | Boyfriend isn't comfortable with me getting tattoo of a male musician |
t3_4av5nm | legaladvice | Getting defamed on the Internet, affecting my work life and life in general. Should I involve a lawyer? | (NE) As the title says, I'm being targeted in an online gossip forum and it's taken a toll on my work life and mental state. The website is the very first thing when googling my name, and it's very hurtful and nasty stuff. Looking into the website, they only remove a post if there is provable false in (claiming I have an std when I can produce a medical report claiming I do not, or lawyer intervention).
Long story short, a guy texted me looking to hook up, I declined, his girlfriend saw the texts and went APESHIT on me. She completely disregarded the fact that I turned him down numerous times and all that, I have all the texts saved on my phone as proof, to which she replied "I don't give a shit about those, your a home wrecker and a piece of shit" yada yada yada. Well, I got a call from a friends PARENT asking if I knew about what had be put up. What's even worse, she used a photo of myself and my brother in his military clothes, which is not cool for him, although he's not aware of it.
I'm wondering if I have legal basis to get a lawyer involved to send a cease and desist letter or if it could be escalated to suing to get this damn post down. She (the poster and her friend, who supposedly made it) will not listen to me when I ask them to remove it. It's turned into quite a mess, and although I've been great about ignoring it, I can't help but think it's hurting my yoga teaching career, as it comes above my yoga page.
Any advice would be appreciated. She keeps claiming I'm the bad person, but with everything I have saved from her and her boyfriends attacks, it's clear they are the instigators. She even said "you messed with the wrong crazy girlfriend" after showing her I turned him down each time! And begged him to leave me alone.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far. | gossip on the Internet slandering my name with untrue claims, hurting my business and my life in general. Have proof that I'm not in the wrong and she is just a nasty, crazy girlfriend. |
t3_1x181j | relationships | *Update* I [22f] talked about breaking up with my [20m] boyfriend. I feel like I should explain a few more things. | Link to first post:
Last night we were watching a movie, when his brother, A, decided to also watch a movie. He always plays it way too loud and the bass shakes the entire house. We've asked him to turn it down millions of times. I have misophonia so I get irrational and furious to those kinds of triggers. Anyway, so instead of asking to turn it down and getting ignored, I decided to slam doors and cupboards and things to annoy A and some random girl he was with. It was immature, I know. But my boyfriend got extremely upset with me and his brothers and it kind of got out of hand.
We talked about breaking up because he can't handle the stress of taking care of his parents house, taking care of his brothers, their animals, and also worrying about me. He's always worried that I'm angry at him. He's always asking what's wrong. Sometimes I get so annoyed by it that I end up ignoring him, which drives him crazy. I almost always tell him the truth about how I'm feeling the first time he asks. But he almost never believes me.
So we ended up not breaking up. We didn't really fix much of anything. The only thing that really happened was that he asked me to try to take control of my misophonia. He says he's sick of being the middle man, always asking his brothers to be quiet or turn it down. So I agreed to put in headphones or ask them myself. Whatever. It's not like I haven't tried that before.
I still want to break up. He doesn't because he realizes that if I left, he wouldn't have the money to live in his parents house or buy a car or go to school without having to work. I want to leave, but I don't want to pretty much ruin his life. I don't know how to tell him how I really feel. I don't know how to make him realize I'm unhappy. I've told him a million times, but it just doesn't stick. Sorry, I just need more advice. | We had a fight, talked about breaking up, I ended up compromising again. How do I make him realize I am really unhappy. |
t3_1lxu5m | relationships | I'm (25f) having issues with Facebook but my fiancé (25m) doesn't understand. | We've been together 4 years. I had two miscarriages and have been trying to conceive, now not getting pregnant at all since my second loss. I literally cannot keep seeing my friends on social media, specifically Facebook, get pregnant every week. It breaks me down. It makes me feel insecure, that I'm not a real woman, jealous, that something is wrong with me. I feel like a monster.
Hiding these people wouldnt work as a new one pops up and I just want a break. I asked him if he would temporarily (maybe permanently) deactivate Facebook with me. He's on it a lot and would tell me updates or ill see his page now and then when he's on our shared computer. He doesn't understand how much it would help me even after I explained it. I'm starting to get frustrated with it.
Am I asking too much? How can we compromise? | fiancé won't deactivate with me so I can heal after miscarriages without seeing pregnancy posts. How to compromise? |
t3_31rgie | tifu | TIFU by opening my front gate. | Obligatory "didn't happen today but recently discovered this subreddit so whatever". This happened about 10 years ago.
In my country, we have 5 foot brick walls surrounding the yard, and a gate(obviously). I was about 8 years old at the time, and our landlord had just replaced our old rusty gate with a new one that opened when you pushed a button. I found this new gate extremely fascinating, and would open and close it for my dad whenever he got home from work. Fast forward to about 2 weeks after the new gate was installed: some well-off friends (we'll call them mr and mrs M) of my parents were coming over for dinner, and they had just recently bought me a bike for my birthday, as they knew my parents couldn't afford to get me one. I was so excited to show them how I could ride it, and I couldn't wait for them to arrive. When they pulled up to the gate in their relatively new, shiny Audi A4, I pushed the button. The gate opened. When it was about halfway open, mr. M started to pull into the driveway. Me being the impatient little bastard that I was, thought that if I pushed the button again, the gate would open faster. However, pushing the button twice caused the gate to close. I froze and watched in horror as the gate smashed into mr M's door, leaving a nasty bowling-ball sized dent, as well as several scratches due to the car moving. That was the last day I was ever allowed to open the gate. | closed electric gate on dad's friend's car, effectively ruining the new paint job and damaging the door. |
t3_k63z0 | AskReddit | Ladies of Reddit, we know what we want in a long-term partner. What do you want? | Your basic, average guy here, just got out of a very long relationship (12 years) with a very pretty but not-so-smart-or-fun girl. While this sucks, it taught me a lot- the things I found myself wanting from this person were incredibly simple, and are typical of the women with whom most of my good male friends have paired up. I'm talking about the obvious- affability, kindness, approachability/conversation, and at least a modicum of displayed interest in sex (hints don't work so well, sorry). While I was married to the "hot girl", I found myself very jealous of my friends, and the way their wives seemed to care about them. I spent countless hours trying to explain this to my wife, pleading to make things more reciprocal, less one-sided in our relationship. And though the things I asked for seemed extremely simple, either she found it impossible or not worth her time. I, on the other hand, would have done absolutely done anything she asked to make her happy and satisfied for once.
What are the characteristics that we, as guys, can display for you? I think I speak for all reasonable men out there when I say that we may not be the most creative in our romantic displays, at least not as much as you would always hope for, but we are pretty good at doing what we're told. Suggestions? | Help me be a better man. |
t3_k3abr | jobs | Need some advice on a potentially huge promotion. | So a quick background: I work overqualified. Every one around me is by no means nearly good at the same job. I continue to bust out big numbers every day, without fail. Mind you I am college educated and working with 19 year olds working at a web start up that recently got a huge investment.
I was approached and asked about how things are ran. I said my greivences, my solutions, and what I personally dislike -- which is essentially me feeling underemployed and me wanting more action. I was told that I am viable to get the position for running this office of 20 or so pending I start showing more initiative.
Here lays the problem: I do my job at 50% not because I want to do my current role at 50, but because I find it not exciting at all, yet I manage to out perform every one. They want me at 100 but I just can't find the excitement in this position so it is hard to muster the enthusiasm they are looking for.
Drunk | What is the best way to approach this: Asking for 110 but it's hard to find enthusiasm to give 110. |
t3_4t9sot | relationships | I [21M] want to get to know my recently windowed neighbor [50sF] but don't know how to see her. | Hello everyone
I am a 21 year old male living at home with the parents for the summer until school starts. The other day I was getting ready for a dinner party when our neighbor (behind our house) rang our doorbell to talk to us about our fence (it was damaged in a storm, we are going to split the cost to fix it).
The neighbor is an older woman, early 50s maybe late 40s, who I had never seen before. She was actually in shape and good looking for her age, and was also really generous and friendly. I introduced myself when she came and went upstairs to finish getting ready, but could still overhear the conversation she was having with my parents.
She was really chatty and told us her husband and dog recently passed away. They never had kids, but watched over a nephew who recently left for college. She is living alone and spoke about possibly moving into a smaller home. This immediately caught my attention. While I have hooked up and casually dated women my age, I have always been interested in getting to know an older woman. It may have to do with where I work (lots of good looking older women). I'm also really mature and old fashioned compared to other men my age.
Ever since she came to talk to us I can't stop thinking about her. It sounds silly but I really want to meet her and at least get to know her, I just don't know how. I've thought about ringing her doorbell for some bullshit reason regarding the fence t try and talk to her, but I don't know if that is the best approach. What do you guys think? | I want to get to know my neighbor who is an attractive older woman, she was recently widowed and lives alone. |
t3_4q27xv | relationships | My [22F] boyfriend [26] is constantly telling me how he wishes I looked like certain girls he sees on instagram. Says I'm over dramatic for getting upset? | He has been doing this since the beginning. We've been together for 5 years, and the last year it's gotten worse and it's driving me insane.
Like an example of what happens.
We are sitting on the couch watching tv, both of us at the same time on our phones. He'll poke my arm to get my attention, and say something like
"Dang, I wish you looked like this in the morning." "Man, I wish you had her nose instead." "I wish your body was more like this" "I wish your smile looked like hers"
And it hurts me a lot..like, he has a thing for Ariana grande..he likes small girls, small in every way. That's fine. I'm tiny. But, I won't look like ariana. I won't look like those girls. It's not even possible. I'm as tiny as I can be, I'm as short as I can be.
I know guys will give opinions, like.. Oh hey, cute shirt.. You'd look nice in that.
But it isn't that. He literally wants my body to be completely different, he wants my smile and nose different.. And that's not all. This happens everyday and it sucks. I ask him why he's with me if he doesn't love everything, and he says he loves me and doesn't want anyone else.. And yet, he asks me to get lip injections so I can look more like ariana. Color my hair darker (it's already dark brown???)
Please please help me. Is this normal? He swears I'm an insane jealous gf. | boyfriend compares me to every girl he finds attractive on instagram, and says how much he wishes I looked like them instead. He says I'm insane and too jealous and to get over it. But it hurts my feelings. Is he right? |
t3_1dfsgn | relationships | Me[26] and Her[27] have differing religions, I'm worried. | Just some background information; personally, I'm not particularly religious but my family is Buddhist so I just call myself Buddhist and do those Buddhisty things when they are supposed to be done. My SO's family is also Buddhist but she has turned to Christianity. For the most part she's not really a 'hardcore' christian but when the topic comes up she becomes really passionate about it. She says she has seen God in her dreams and that God helped her through tough times in her life before I came into the picture and that's completely fine with me. I think it's great she had something to guide her through.
Our relationship is very serious. We're engaged. I've become somewhat caught in the middle as my parents want our children to be Buddhist while my SO wants them to be Christian. I would prefer for them to choose their own path. My parents are 100% ok with my SO being Christian but being a traditional Asian family, they want the children to follow the paternal side. I'm worried that this will be a giant boil waiting to pop.
At one point she asked me if I could become Christian with her. I said that's one thing I will never do. Not only for my parents but for my own beliefs. I just don't believe. I would do anything for her but this is my one exception.
Is anyone in the same differing religion relationship that can give advice? | I'm caught in the middle between my Buddhist parents and my Christian SO. Parents want our children to be Buddhist, SO disagrees. I don't care. Both parents and SO are very important to me so I can't pick sides. Sorry wall of text. |
t3_1tu4rd | relationship_advice | [28/m] My friend/psuedo-gf (28/f/lesbian) and I are constantly fighting. Advice? | We've known each other since childhood but not really close. We reconnect via facebook 2 years ago. Texts and phone calls are had. I decide to visit her, dinner is had, and that leads to sex. From that point on our relationship that turns into a cuddle buddy/friends with benefits situation. Eventually I catch feelings and I tell her "I love her" but she's indifferent about it. Continue to be fwb. Eventually she catches feelings but does not want people to know we're more than fwb. Eventually we move in together (HUGE MISTAKE) and now we see each others ugly side. Roommate is controlling and I didn't help out enough around the house. She decides that she wants to be just friends and date. I didn't really want that but ok. She brings a potential date turned platonic friend over to chill. I let them chill on their own. Eventually roommate asks me if I want to drink. I say sure and commence to drinking with them. Roommate goes to the bathroom and while she's in there her friend starts to make out with me. I make the bad decision to kiss her back but I stop before roommate comes back. Evening continues... roommate eventually passes out, her friend and I end up making out in my room. Roommate hears us, says she started crying when she realized what we were doing. Awkwardness is abundant that morning. She sends angry texts and eventually calls me saying that she wants me out of her life. That shakes me to my soul and I try to repair what damage has been done. I make some progress on the repairs to our relationship but now she's talking to a (19/f) and plans on sleeping with her on NYE. Of course I don't want that to happen but I can't stop her so I just have to deal with it. | [28/m] and (28/f/lesbian) become fwb, feelings are caught, move in together, get on each other nerves, we "break up", I [m] make out with her friend, I hurt (f)'s feelings, now our relationship is in shambles. |
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