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t3_50vi3n | Advice | How can I soothe my anxiety towards the future? | I want to get a bachelor's degree in Digital Art, I love to draw and have done it off and on for a little over 10 years. My fears have been going through my head all month, I'm afraid that I won't be good enough to get a job in that field of work. I am good at drawing but I am overwhelmed with the thought that I could be not good enough to get a job. I'm 18 and have just started community college so luckily I have some time but I am just terrified of doing all of the work to get the degree just for it to be waisted. So, I would like to know how I can get over this fear and go full speed ahead to achieve my dream. Please avoid telling me to not get a job in Digital Art because it'll be "unsuccessful". My fears may be big but they are not strong enough to cause me to give up this goal. | I need advice on how to get over the fear of not getting a job with a bachelor's degree in Digital Art, even though I am dead set on achieving this dream |
t3_nzwfy | loseit | For those new to weight loss, be careful of the scale. It doesn't "lie," but it also doesn't tell the whole story, especially in the short term. Exciting graph inside! | I've struggled with weight several times in my life, and I'm never sure what to do about the scale. On the one hand, it's a wonderful bit of tangible evidence of progress - on the other, it can be very discouraging.
A few weeks ago I decided I wanted to quantify the strangeness that the scale produced. So, while continuing my moderate diet and exercise program, I set out to weigh myself several times per day for two weeks. The results should be interesting to anybody who has ever had - or will have - a "wtf?" moment with their scale:
A few observations:
First, caloric restriction works *perfectly.* I lost weigh at more or less exactly the rate my calculated deficit stated that I should be losing it. But the 1-2 pounds I was losing per week *paled* in comparison to my daily weight fluctuation based one eating, drinking, breathing, and excreting! If I started my diet on 1/1 and weighed myself once per week, it's totally possible I might have seen my weight stay the same or even increase depending on when I did the weigh in. I could also have seen a deceptively large decrease - the daily variation masks a lot in the short term.
Second, this snapshot comes from a period of time where I had been dieting for a while beforehand and maintained my diet during. At the beginnings of a diet the chance in eating and drinking habits often causes a more dramatic change in my weight due to water retention. So if you see big weight changes in the first week, make sure you don't get discouraged if things start to move at a more moderate pace after that.
Second, if you're going to keep track, do what you can do get your weigh-ins done when you'll minimize fluctuations. For me that wound up being the common advice of in the morning before eating or drinking anything. My practice now is to also weigh two or three consecutive mornings and take the average each week, so that I'm not obsessed with the scale but am getting a more complete picture each week. | Don't let the scale psych you out, particularly over 1-2 week periods of time. Diet and exercise work, but a scale might not be able to help you unless you're talking about months of work or you weigh yourself a dozen times per day ;) |
t3_sdao3 | AskReddit | Reddit, I need some serious career advice, I have no idea what to do... | So I work at a job I absolutely despise. It makes me sad being there. (It's the kind of job that when people quit, they just leave. I've never seen anyone give an official two weeks notice. The turn over rate is obnoxious!) The funny thing is, I don't mind the work, which isn't super exciting, but I'm good at it, and feel I'm a pretty decent employee. This morning, we learn that our office is moving to the next state over. We all knew something was going on, but we had no idea it would be this, we thought both places would run simultaneously, so this shocked most people. Management is giving us the option of going with the new office, which is already almost fully staffed with new people. If we go, for the beginning, they will cover commuting costs and give a very small bonus after a month for whoever goes and stays. This new commute would be about an extra 4 hours roundtrip for me.
An hour after giving everyone memos, I have my personal meeting with management, who pretty much demand I tell them if I'm moving with them. They expect people to start next week. I ask if I can tell them tomorrow, and one of them gets kinda upset that I can't make my decision at that second.
So Reddit, I'm now frantically searching for any unemployment loopholes I can get, since that was never mentioned as an option. I hatehatehate this job, seriously. Like I said, i feel like I am a good worker, I give a shit about what I do, but I've never been happy there. I've been on unemployment more times in my short life than I want to admit, so I know what that boat is like. I've been looking for jobs here and there but not very seriously, but this feels like an invitation to start over. I just can't justify 4 hour commute each day for a crappy job. At the same time, I feel like an asshole if I say I can't go, because I have no idea if I'll be able to find another gig right away.
What do I do? Thanks so much for reading. | My super depressing job that I hate is moving away, which would lead me to about a 4 hour roundtrip daily commute. It feels like an opportunity to stay until then end of our current office and be let go, start over, but I don't think that's a wise move. What should I do? |
t3_2csi2i | relationships | Me [21F] with my Italian friend [22M] | I'm awkward; Tips for dating/ casual meet-up | I live in a large city. I met an Italian guy online who is new in the area and wants to learn English, make friends, and explore the city. So far we've skyped, met up for yoga, and went to a cafe afterwards.
Today, we are going to an art museum. I am getting really nervous because this is going to require a lot of talking. I'm just afraid I might run out of things to say. He has traveled literally all over the world. Whereas I'm a university student originally from a small town in TX. I am just looking for tips and inspiration for socializing with foreign guys or meeting people from online. He is, of course, extremely attractive but I am not sure if this is a date or just friends hanging out. | Going to the art museum with my new Italian friend. Any tips? I'm awkward. |
t3_2trx95 | tifu | TIFU by turning on the TV. | Backstory: My girlfriend, 22, and I, 23, are going out for a normal Friday night date.
Super nervous because it's our 3 month anniversary.
Put some cologne my dad got me a while ago to get the feeling right.
All in all, the date goes amazingly well.
We go back to her place, turn off the lights, and start making out.
Things get super heated and as she's taking off my pants, I start fumbling around for something.
Got it. The TV remote.
I turn it on, and that's about the time she walked away and told me to leave.
Apparently it's not okay when you're 23 and are interested in TV shows more. | I fight a robotic cat which had assaulted me deep in space. |
t3_2hw1iy | relationship_advice | How can I (25/M) talk to a cute girl (early 20s) at the gym w/o making it weird? | At the gym I nonchalantly checked this girl out inbetween routines and we lock eyes as she walks past me so I give her a smile and she calmly smiles back. Now I feel like I'm a fairly social person but initiating conversation one on one with the opposite sex completely rattles me. I finish my morning with the foam rollers to increase blood circulation and not even 30 seconds later the beautiful lass walks past me, makes eye contact and grabs a mat and proceeds to stretch (possibly yoga?) directly beside me. Now I'm not sure what exactly her intentions were but I painfully restrained myself from gawking at her flawless looks while I finished foam rolling. As I exited the gym I gave her one last friendly smile - no winks - and felt like there was some solid attraction happening. | locked eyes and exchanged smiles with cute girl at gym, then stretched side by side. |
t3_2d39m4 | relationships | Essentially living a double life with my mum. I (29f) haven't told her I am dating my formerly abusive ex (29m) again. | Long story short, I moved countries 4 years ago for work and a guy. I lived with him and we became pretty abusive towards each other (him more so but me as well). Eventually it got to a point where I realized this isn't healthy or anything that I wanted for our future and I broke it off and took a holiday back with my family in my country. I love the country though (and my dogs) so I returned, got my own apartment, got a promotion at work, and became independent and loved it!
4-5 months after we called it off though, we started hanging out again. That was a YEAR ago. Now we're about to sign a contract to move back in together again and talking of marriage. The problem is I still haven't told my mum that we're even dating. I never told anyone because of all the hardship I put my family and friends through the first time. I wanted to make sure that we were able to be proper adults and have a healthy relationship without any "that bit me in the ass" moments where I would seek comfort from family, so I took it on, all on my own.
My father figured it out pretty quickly though, he's always prying at my love life. He doesn't mind that I am dating my ex again as long as I am happy. My mum though is not one to pry AT ALL and never asks about any part of my life so it's been very easy to hide from her. Because of this it's hard to bring up as well. She mostly just talks about herself.
I don't want this discussion to turn into that of keeping out of abusive situations. I know what an abusive relationship is like and I will never willingly be part of one that I feel is destructive again.
I just need some advice or motivation or ideas for how to bring it up to her... She is my mum so I care about what she thinks of me and I don't want her first reaction to be "you are stupid" but I also don't want to continue lying to her. What is there is an emergency and she finds out the hard way? | Tired of living a double life when I talk to my mum. |
t3_390vw1 | relationships | My [F26] housemate of 1 year [F25] wants to sublet for a month while she is on holiday. I am uncomfortable. | Posting from mobile so bear with me! No throwaway because they don't reddit to my knowledge.
I've lived with Bree and Bianca for just over a year now. We were originally month to month, and signed a minimum 12mth lease officially in January. We all get along great.
Bree, out of the blue, booked a trip to Europe a few weeks ago. She floated the idea of getting someone to stay in her room while she was gone. I was initially ok with the idea if the person was someone she knew (not a stranger) and preferably female. I also said that I'd see if anyone was interested.
It's been a couple of weeks now, and the trip is coming up. As she hasn't been able to find anyone, Bree has put an ad up on Airbnb to try get someone to pay her rent for that time.
I expressed that I wasn't really comfortable with it, given that we don't have locks on our doors, and I own a lot of expensive electronics, not to mention most of the living room is my furniture. (Plus I frankly don't see any benefit to myself or Bianca- monetary or sanity-wise with this arrangement. I obviously didn't add this part out loud.)
She agreed to keep looking for someone we knew, but a few hours later texted me saying that she has a girl who is keen on seeing the room, and as a last resort can she have her see the place.
I haven't replied yet. I don't want to be the bad guy here, saying that she should have to pay a month's rent even though she isn't here, but it's what I would do in that situation ( in fact I have two trips coming up which I will be doing that).
My other housemate seems to be ambivalent, but I believe this is because she also wants to have someone stay on her room for 3 months while she is away December-February( | housemate of 1 year wants to sublet to strangers for a month while she is on holiday. I am uncomfortable. |
t3_29easd | relationships | I [26f] am miserable. [24m] bf disappeared. | I posted a couple weeks ago because my bf wasn't returning texts and wouldn't hang out when he said he would. Turns out he's been having depression and PTSD problems. I ended up breaking up with him because he sent me a message leading me to believe he was going to kill himself and a week later he still hasn't answered any of my messages or called me. I know this isn't going to work out when he has things he needs to work through but I need closure. I had to break it off via fb message and I never got a reply. Its killing me. I don't know how you can tell someone you love them everyday then out of nowhere disappear without even an explanation. I want to be angry but I can't. I feel like something is missing. | I broke it off but I'm not OK. |
t3_wxe8v | AskReddit | Are there any ways to profit from the Dec. 21st hysteria, without directly taking people's stuff? | So the recent thread about Mayan vs. Aztec calendars got me thinking about how irrational people can be about these things. Though most are probably not bat shit/'build a shelter' insane, I would say that there are actually quite a few individuals with varying degrees of belief that the world will end on Dec. 21st 2012.
Surely, with all these people acting in a predictable, irrational way, there is some method for us to cash in. Now, I'm not talking about finding a crazy believer, and having him sign his worldly possessions over to me, since come Dec. 22nd, the guilt of having 'conned' these poor people would be too much to handle. Not to mention, finding someone with that strong of a belief is probably a very difficult task.
What I'm talking about is a surefire, non-predatory way of taking advantage of all this combined idiocy. A (lame) example would be, let's pretend everyone was going to be stocking gold for Dec. 21st . We would purchase a large amount of gold now, before the bulk of the hype sets in, and sell it all on Dec. 20th. | Does anyone know any non-predatory ways to make money off of the mass stupidity concerning Dec. 21st? |
t3_4kijmw | relationships | The girl [22f] I [24m] am talking to is mad as we have not been on a date. | I met a girl Kate in March; she's funny, smart, and cute. We have been in contact everyday. After a month of talking she hinted we should go on a date and invited me to a local beer festival. I said I was busy and she said she understood.
Last night while talking Kate asked if we were even going to go on a date. I said we were but I wanted to handle my internship first. At that point she said, so you're saying I have to wait at least another month and asked if I was serious. I mentioned I was, it wouldn't take that long we'd go on a date soon and I admitted I should have asked for one a long time ago.
> Then she mentioned, I've been talking to you since March, I've asked you out on dates and concerts as well, dude this is a waste of my time. Actually can you delete me from everything? I'm over it. Thanks for wasting my time and making me feel like an idiot.
That bit stung, she hung up on me. I sent her messages, called her phone, saw she went out with her friends via snapchat. She definitely saw and read everything I sent her.
I definitely messed up, I should have asked her out on a date and accepted her invitations. Seems like I lost the girl I've been interested for the first time in a long time.
Is there anyway to get back from this? | girl I am talking to felt I was stringing her along when I wouldn't go on a date. She has been ignoring me since last night. |
t3_4emywk | legaladvice | Life Insurance/ Child Support Question. | Located in Missouri, US. I recently got a new job. As I was signing up for my benefits/ insurance, it asked who I wanted as a beneficiary. My significant other pays child support to his ex. If I were to die, heaven forbid, and he were the beneficiary on my life insurance, would anything be taken away from the money that he would get? I want to make sure that my household is provided for if anything happens, but I don't want to pay every check to give my insurance payout to a woman and a child that aren't mine and aren't part of our lives. | Would my life insurance payout go to my SO or to his child support if anything happened to me? |
t3_jghie | books | Best place to download free audio books? | I listen to a lot of audio books while I'm working but am running out of choices. My public library has a pretty decent selection of audio books but the digital versions require software that only works on iphones and ipod touch's. I used to check out CD versions but my CD tray on my computer broke. So, now I'm looking for alternative ways to get my hands on some digital audio books? (i would love to use audible but cannot afford to pay that much per book.) Anyways, if anyone knows a good website or private torrent, holla at me.
FYI I am mostly into nonfiction. | this is the books subreddit so you should like to read. =P |
t3_up8ud | AskReddit | How do you make a "professional" looking website? How do I start this project? | Hey Reddit, I have recently started a project, and I need to create my own website. While I have some knowledge on programming (Python) and basic HTML I just don't know how to start. What programs should I use, and what are some things that I keep in mind? Also what features do you HATE/LOVE to see on website? Would you guys have any good tutorials that would help me? I cannot give a lot of information about the site yet, but I will probably have to learn java script and/or Flash eventually too. Oh I also have the domain name I want but don't want to buy it until I am a good ways into my project. | noob at programming wants to know how to make a good website. Need a place to start and some awesome tips. |
t3_48j4i7 | legaladvice | (OK, USA) Girlfriend may have broken hand. HR told her if she cannot work without restrictions, she must stay home. Is there any potential ADA violation occuring? | The gist of it is that my girlfriend may have a broken hand. After informing her supervisor that she may need to work slower, HR called her and told her that she either needed a letter from the doctor stating that she could work "without restrictions", otherwise she needed to stay home.
She works an office job, so there is no lifting etc. It is primarily using a computer, so the only thing her injury is affects is speed of typing and (possibly) using the mouse with her right hand; a trackball would completely alleviate the mouse issue.
Her doctor said it may take several weeks before there are no restrictions, i.e. she make be in a cast or splint, meaning HR may stand by their "work without restrictions" statement.
My primary questions is whether this is potentially an issue of ADA compliance. I know that there was a ruling at least in 2014 regarding temporary disability involving a broken bone as well, but it may not apply in this situation. HR made no attempts at accommodating via left handed mouse, altered expectations of workflow, or even speech to text input if typing speed is somehow the issue.
Is temporary disability applicable here? She has all qualifications, professional experience, and has been at this job for over a year; can she really be forced to use all of her vacation time, leave without pay etc. because of a hand injury? Should ADA compliance even be mentioned to HR, or is there any reason to move further and consult an attorney? | Girlfriend breaks hand. HR tells her to stay home unless a doctor provides a letter that she can "work without restrictions", which could be several days to weeks. Is temporary disability relevant in this instance? |
t3_53vmou | legaladvice | (X-posted to /r/SocialSecurity) Name change with 3 different names?? | Hi all- I hope this is the right place to post this. I'm using different names for obvious reasons.
I am in Colorado, but was born and lived in California for 17 years.
I just got married and fully intend to change my last name to my husband's, which is Jones.
However, I was born with the last name of Sullivan. It was printed on my birth certificate, which is the document (and therefore last name) I've been using my entire adult life for jobs, credit cards, driver's licenses, etc.
For some weird reason, my mom, who died when I was 9, changed my last name/applied for my social security card under the name of Collins, which is the last name I guess she was intending me to have? She's deceased, so it's not like I can ask her the reasoning.
Anyway. I tried before to get a copy of my Social Security Card for job reasons, but they wouldn't give it to me since I hadn't gone by the name Collins since high school. SSA said there was no way to verify I was me since I had no documents with Collins on them (which, why would I? I was a minor and I don't live in my home state anymore)
I want more than anything to resolve this but I don't know how to go about it. I know it's going to be a big long hassle but I want more than anything to share my husband's name and put this weird situation behind me forever. It's always been an issue and I hate that it's a part of me.
Would this require me to request a name change from a judge/the courts (I know this is a document that could help the process along)? Is this something they would understand at the SSA Office? I'm getting to the point where I almost want to hire a PI to try and get any information from my hometown or school or something to try and get some sort of verification that my previous name was Sullivan. I'm just scared they're not even going to let me because I still use the name Collins for everything. | Last name on social security card is different from birth certificate. Just got married. Want to change to husband's last name. Can't get copy of social security card/get new card because I have no documents with social security card name. Only my birth certificate name. What on earth do I do?? |
t3_24paql | relationships | Me [18 M] with my ex-girlfriend [17 F] it's been two months and I am tortured by thoughts of her nearly every second | My ex left me and two days later was with another guy, now it seems she likes him more than she ever liked me. She shows him off on snapchat story all the time (something she never did with me) and through Facebook location update I can see she was with him at like 1 am and she might have slept over at his house (again something she never did with me). My heart is torn apart and my ego is damaged. All I can think about is her being with this new guy and how she could completely have no reguard for my feelings. I am trying to distract myself, but whether I'm at a party or working out, I'm still consumed by thinking about her. | My ex left me for another guy now it seems she likes him more than she ever liked me. She shows him off on snapchat story all the time and through Facebook location update I can see when she's with him. All I can think about is what they're probably doing and it drives me crazy. |
t3_1a10h0 | relationship_advice | Need urgent help with a friend who says/makes obvious signs that she wants me, but she's acting weird. PM only | I realize that it's ridiculous for me to make a post only to ask for people to message me instead of posting the actual story but even with a throw away account, I still can't risk posting my story even with alterations as I have many friends on this subreddit.
**Basically**, I'm friends with this one girl who has been on/off with me for over a year but now she's finally turning up. She's done things (verbal/physical) that lets me know she definitely thinks of me more than as a friend, but she says random and unnecessary things (like about guys or referencing a past relationship) that leave me thinking "okay...cool?". She makes me feel inadequate, even though I'm the only one she's like that to in my school (confirmed by friends, not just her word). That's all I can say :/ | Looking for experienced users to help me via PM with a potential SO that could be playing mind games with me. |
t3_1ct3ky | relationship_advice | 20M (OP) and 20F; insight on cheaters. | Hello Reddit,
I am 20 studying abroad in a foreign country and met a girl while here. She had a bf (I knew) but we started hanging out casually, just as friends. I explained after about a week or two of this, I had feelings and was definitely physically attracted (I could tell she was as well from the signs she gave). She basically said yeah I like you a lot but I have a boyfriend. We kept hanging out (not sure why she would) and she would lie to her boyfriend about who she was with/where she was. We ended up hooking up after things progressed and went on dates etc. Then her time abroad was over, she left and went home and never left her boyfriend. She never said she was going to; however, her behavior indicated she was and she openly expressed doubts about being in her relationship. Also, something along the lines of "the more he says he loves me, the less I feel like I am into the relationship." She also said she had feelings for me. What do all of you think? After a while it seems like I've dodged a bullet. A. she can't be open and honest with someone she "loves" B. if she did care about me it seems now like she's basically a coward C. not good to pursue relationships (sex is fine) with those already involved in one. | Fell for chick who was in a relationship, feelings seemed to be reciprocated but in the end got left holding the bag. |
t3_4dnwd0 | Advice | I'm moving out of state with my SO, ~10 hour drive with a cat. What's our best approach? | Hey, /r/Advice, this is my first time posting here. My significant other and I are in our mid 20s and we're moving out of state by the end of June. It's the first time we'll be moving out together with a pet and we've accumulated some things since living together so I've come to you for advice.
The basic scenario:
* We both own our own cars, 4 door compact sedans
* We live in a one bedroom apartment with no real furniture except a mattress and box spring
* We own a cat
* The drive is approximately 10 hours
* Neither of us have any experience operating or driving a truck
* Cat doesn't do so well in the car, she meows and yowls but we have let her out of the carrier and that does help some. We have only taken her on ~30 minute trips at a time.
I've looked up some options like using PODS and uShip containers, but those seem much pricier than renting a truck or a van. The cheapest option seems to be towing my car with the truck to our destination, but we're uncomfortable with that idea since none of us have experience driving a truck, let alone pulling a car with it.
The most common advice we've seen online is to purge, purge, purge. If we squished everything into two cars, I think we could make it work, but the problem is we own a cat and that complicates things. We'd want to make the ride as comfortable as we can for her.
So... the question is: what's the best approach for us to move out of state with the cat? Frugally would be ideal, but if we have to spend a little more to make the process easier for us and for our cat, that'd be great! | Look at bullet point list above. Moving out of state with a cat. What's the cheapest and/or most convenient way for us to make this happen? |
t3_1m8fbk | relationships | I [21/f] physically attacked my boyfriend [22/m]... I don't know if I should leave or try to fix things. | Together 1 year. We moved in together about a month and a half ago and it's been really tough on us. We don't make a lot of money and encountered a bazillion issues with the first place we moved into and just had to move again. We've both been under an enormous amount of stress.
Anyway, day before yesterday, in a fit of rage during an argument, I just started hitting him and scratching him and pushing him. It was like I completely lost control of myself - like someone else was calling the shots in my head. Thankfully, I didn't hurt him... I didn't even leave any marks... he's a lot bigger than me and for the most part was able to use his own strength to keep me off of/away from him.
I've never done anything like this before (he's never tried to hurt me either, if that matters). I consider myself an egalitarian and feel me laying hands on him is just as bad as him laying hands on me. I feel horribly about this... I've just been overwhelmed with guilt since it happened. I've been apologizing and crying a lot and I almost moved out (my idea), but he convinced me not to. He was upset for the rest of the day when it happened but has since forgiven me and promises me that he's over it. He doesn't seem to feel like it was a big deal, but I sure do. I have officially been physically abusive to a romantic partner and I can never change that. Ever. That kills me.
He's been so great and understanding about it but I just feel like I don't deserve to be with him. I want to make it up to him, but I feel like there's nothing in the world I could do to atone for this horrible deed.
Should I move out and leave him? Should I try to make it up to him? I feel incredibly guilty and ashamed every time I look at his gorgeous face. I don't want to hurt him, but I just don't trust myself, and he deserves to be with someone who treats him right. | I started physically attacking my boyfriend in a fit of rage during an argument. Luckily, I didn't hurt him, but I feel horribly guilty. I don't believe me being a woman makes me any less culpable for my disgusting actions. He's been wonderful about it - understanding, forgiving, and treating it like it's not a big deal. Though I feel absolutely guilty and regretful for what I've done, I don't trust myself anymore. Should I leave this relationship, or stay in it and try to make it up to him? |
t3_pe9k6 | AskReddit | I would like to create games/become a Game Dev, anybody out there that can point me in the right direction? | Hi! Thanks for taking the time to read this.
I've been wanting to become a game developer and create my own games ever since I first picked up a controller. When I realized that it was coding that made it all happen, I drowned myself in the lines of code, trying to make sense of it all. It wasn't very easy.
I'm thirteen, and when I am asked what I would like to do in the future, my answer is always "I want to make games." I have no idea where to get started, though! I have begun to familiarize myself with coding, by learning HTML, some Java, and now just begging to learn python, but game developing seems so much more than that. Could you let me know what I should try to learn so I could work with others in the future to make games? What software? What coding? What skills/abilities? Thanks. | What should I do to become a game developer? |
t3_10aoq5 | tifu | TIFU with a girl | Soooo I got a new job recently and met up with some old friends from my old job at a bar yesterday after work. Long story short I get pretty fucked up with all of them and invite a girl I've been casually banging for a few months over at like 11:45 and she told me she'd meet me at my place in an hourish.
So to kill time I obviously just keep drinking with my work friends pretty aggressively. I black out around here and yeah....I wake up at 4:45 alone in my bed. Looks like I just went home to wait for her and passed the fuck out. The weirdest thing is that I had taken off my clothes and completely gotten into bed as if I'd forgotten about her. To make matters worse, I did this exact same thing last week. Today I fucked up. | I'm a drunk moron |
t3_3r5y9j | relationship_advice | I [18/f] don't have any friends? | I have just finished my first year of university and I have not made a single friend. I am currently living at home (I'm from Australia, so we generally don't live on campus unless you're from overseas/interstate) but I am planning to move out next year.
I don't talk to most of my high school friends anymore, and the ones that I do speak to don't seem to want to go out that much. I do speak to people in class a bit but it never goes beyond acquaintances. I am a very kind/friendly person, but I am a bit on the shy side, so that makes it harder, but I can speak to people fairly easily if we're just talking one on one. Everyone else seems to have already made friends, even people who are considerably quieter than me, so I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I love socialising and having fun, but I can't really do that and I just feel like I'm wasting my youth :( It's uni break at the moment by the way, so I won't be back for another four months. | First year uni student and I've made no friends, please help me |
t3_2wukmi | relationships | Me [26 F] with my BF [27 M] of 2 years. How to have temporary space/break when we live together? | My SO and I are having issues lately, especially with issues in lifestyle. I really love him, but I'm not sure if our different interests and preferences will allow our relationship to work, especially as he is stubborn against compromise.
I'm tired of complaining/arguing/criticizing/being unhappy when he is more than pleased to ignore our problems and play video games. I need a break. I think I need some space to see how I really feel about the relationship and if I can be happy with him as he is, if it is unfair to ask him to change. Or perhaps I may be happier on my own. I do not want to break up, but I need some time alone.
However, we live together. Neither of us have extra money to spend on extra rent. Housing is very expensive in our area and I don't think I could afford a sublease. Nor do I have a friend's couch close enough nearby for that to be an option.
Does anyone have any personal experience with this? Advice for finding a cheap place to stay temporarily? Suggestions for distance while still living together? | Need space from SO, but we live together. |
t3_rsh5w | AskReddit | I have terrible troubles comprehending things I read the first time I read them. Help me? | So, reddit, here is the deal. I'm a highschool student about to take the ACT. In other tests, I score great.I have a 4.0 with many AP credits under my belt. My state's standardized test I got in the top 95^th percentile in everything, my highest being 99^th in math. I do good on those test because I have damn time to read the passage and the question.
Here is the trouble though, my state allows for MUCH more time to do each section than the ACT does. When I take the ACT practice tests and stuff, I run out of time because I'm so slow at reading. I can do the reading itself just fine, as in I am able to comprehend higher level books and stuff, but more times than often, I need to re read a paragraph or even a sentence multiple times for the idea to sink in. I just do not have time to do that on this test.
This is relevant in my english classes too, because when we do "read alouds" (Fucking fuck those) I just cannot do it. I can read it, but the way I read it doesn't get the point across that it is supposed to because *I* dont understand the sentence that first time around.
On some other practice standardize tests I have taken, every section is the same trend. Almost flawless for about the first 3/4 of the test, but near the end, I get nearly every question wrong because I am forced to guess because I didnt have time to read anything.
Basically, what I'm asking, is does anyone on Reddit know any tips or tricks to help me prepare for this test? Does anyone know a way that I can understand something the first time I read it, and not have to go back and dissect the damn line over and over again? | I SUCK at comprehending sentences and paragraphs my first go around. Can someone help me to understand things my first time reading something? |
t3_4f86ws | relationships | When I [26 M] am high, I want to break up with my long-distance girlfriend [28 F], but when I sober up I don't want to | Every Friday/Saturday night I smoke (MJ), play games, and relax. What I don't like doing during this time is talking to my girlfriend. I'm not sure why I feel this way. I have thought about breaking up with her before when sober, but the feeling dissipates, and I feel content with where are are in the relationship.
We talk to each other every day, at least once every two days we have a face-to-face skype call. We usually don't have much to talk about; she's busy with work and I'm in grad school, so topics are sparse. English is her second language, so it's a hassle trying to explain a lot of what I'm studying to her, so we try to search for other topics. Usually we'll talk about some interesting world developments or occurrences.
The romantic passion has died, but I'm still attracted to her, and when we do see each other things are usually fine. I'm just not sure what to make of this problem that arises when I smoke. Is it my subconscious telling me to break up, or is it the drug just fucking up my priorities?
I don't want to quit because I really like smoking + playing games to wind down
Thank you for reading | Smoking pot makes me want to break up with GF, but when sober things are fine |
t3_4w3ig8 | relationships | My girlfriend has told me she wants to talk because she thinks things have gone too quick and she has feelings for somebody else | So I [23M] have been with my girlfriend [19F] going on and off for around 8 months now. It became it serious thing roughly 2 months ago and ever since things have been rocky. Two weeks ago she told me she didn't feel anything towards me anymore and she wanted to break up. After talking it out we decided to carry it on and everything was fine. Then only on Sunday she stayed over and couldn't have been any closer in every sense of the word. Last night I saw her and once more she was off with me and after taking her home she begins to message me saying it's all gone too quick and that she doesn't want to force herself to be with me because I'm so nice to her. Again, we've agreed to talk but I know it can't keep going on like this. Advice? | Gf is having doubts about our relationship and I'm confused as to where we stand and how I should go on |
t3_4ob5ni | relationships | A guy [20M] I've been seeing unintentionally makes me [20F] self conscious about my body | Hey there,
Around 3 months ago I met a really nice guy, we'll call him Richard, at the gym at my uni. Richard and I hit it off immediately. We have a bunch of common interests and just sort of clicked. After 2 months of friendship, he asked me out on a proper date. We've been casually dating ever since.
I've recently noticed, after Richard suggested we spend an afternoon at the beach, that he, unintentionally, makes me really self conscious about my body. He's only ever said positive things about how I look and thinks I'm beautiful. He's never given me any reason to think he's unhappy or critical of how I look.
However, Richard is a fitness junkie. He plays varsity football and goes to the gym on average twice a day, seven days a week. He's hanging out in the ~10% body fat range. Now, I, am a relatively fit individual. I enjoy fitness, go to the gym on average 4 days a week, but I have gained ~20lbs in the past 2 years.
Due to this weight gain, and a tendency to be hyper analytical, my self confidence is shake sometimes. I find sometimes I can be quite critical of my body, I notice flaws no one else ever sees.
I've realized that being around Richard can increase how critical I am of myself. I'm extremely proud of all the work he puts into his body and how he looks, and I respect him like crazy for it. But his looks, and his drive towards improving himself sort of just bring to the forefront all the insecurities I have about my own body.
I know none of this has absolutely nothing to do with him. It's all about how I feel about myself. But I find that now I'm projecting those insecurities. I worry that he sees all the little flaws I do, or thinks I could stand to lose a few pounds. How do I learn to trust that he really does think I'm beautiful and reassure myself that this is all just me being overly critical of myself? | The guy I'm dating is cut like a Greek god and it makes me self conscious about my own body. I know he thinks I'm beautiful, how do I convince myself I'm the only one who sees the "flaws"? |
t3_1930nj | pettyrevenge | Oh, sorry, did I drop your drinks? | I work in a village shop which is usually frequented by lovely, friendly people who really appreciate me being there to help them...But occasionally I get some little assholes in who think they can make me their bitch.
I work the final shift, 6-9, by myself; I work the till, I help customers with problems and then I finally shut up shop. I, like every other employee, have a set of rules to follow. Last night I was at work and these two kids, probably about 17 years old, dressed in the whole "SWAG" outfit with thick-brimmed hats came in and gathered up some stuff. I told them about some deals that would let them get more for their money, blah blah blah, and they come up to the till with something like £3.40 worth of stuff. I scanned it all through, bagged it up for them and told the person paying the total and he handed me his card.
Me: "Sorry, mate, it's got to be over five pounds to pay by card. Your's is at £3.40...You can either pay by cash or maybe go grab some more stuff" Now I'm aware to some people that might seem like I'm trying to scam more money out of them but it's a rule that's been in use for years at my work and there's even a sign that displays this rule.
Him: - thrusts the card at me- "Go on den."
Me: "I'm sorry, sir, it has to be over £5 to pay by card. I'd accept card for this amount if I could but I can't."
Him: He walks off to go get some more stuff and mutters "F-ckin' f-ggot" assuming I couldn't hear him. I heard. As he brings his stuff up to pay, now with an extra 4 pack of energy drinks, I let him pay for it all and then as I handed him the bag I "accidentally" dropped it. Woopsie. I apologised for dropping it (trying my best to seem sincere) and he grumbled, picked it up, left the shop and opened a drink...to have it fizz up all over him. | kid at work called me a f-ggot so I purposely dropped his energy drinks on the floor, shaking them up. |
t3_4zaux6 | relationships | How do I [15F] get through to my family so they could stop taking my stuff? | I will be very brief. I [15F] am not a huge spender and prefer to save my money for something nice and valuable. However, I never get the chance to do so because it's always taken from me.
In short, my siblings [20-23 MF] go into my wallet for cash. Sometimes I'd have up to fifty dollars in my wallet after saving for months, and I'd come home from school and find it completely empty.
I can't bring it up with my mother [50F] because she is usually the one that asks them to take it from my room when they come up to her for money. My siblings have jobs, but for some reason they never have cash on them. I have my theories as to why this is the case, but I can't bring it up without punishment.
With my father [52M], he ends up getting mad at me for "giving" the money to them. We aren't very well off, and I don't have a job at the moment, so he gets pissed that I'm seemingly giving away cash to my siblings.
I can't help it. I literally hide my wallet and I'd come home to find my drawers open and my room a complete mess. It's gotten to the point where I'd take some of the money with me and hide the rest in my little sister's room. Before you ask, no, I'm not allowed a bank account. Even if I had one, I'm pretty sure they'd keep insisting for them to use it.
It isn't just money. My mother specifically takes jewelry, perfume, clothing, etc. and anytime I protest it, I get in trouble. My siblings also take clothes, headphones, etc. without asking me beforehand. They usually wait until I'm out to take anything from me, so I wouldn't have a chance to confront them.
I would be completely fine with this of it went both ways. But it doesn't; I always get in trouble asking for just bus change from my siblings. If I bring up the fact that they take money from me, I get punished.
My question is this: How do I get through to my family to stay away from my things successfully? | Family frequently takes money and items from me without asking. How do I get through to my family to stay away from my things successfully? |
t3_535ela | relationships | I'm bad at staying friends with exes. Help. (23F) | Summer fling with this guy ended, on his request. I'm still really attracted to him and fantasize about being with him.
We haven't seen each other in person since ending it, just some light texting and calling, but after every two weeks or so I always find myself stepping over the line when it comes to friendly flirting. I'm a flirty person in general, but he's an ex and I occasionally come off wayyyy too strong.
Obviously I apologize and feel really bad about it, but I'm really frustrated that I can't seem to control myself. I know I'm in the wrong here and I seem stuck in this cycle. It's happened three times and I feel like I'm ruining our friendship.
Is there any way to maintain this friendship? I don't want to go completely NC because I really like his energy (I know that sounds lame but he is someone I want in my life).
Is one-sided NC effective, ever? Like, I only text him when he texts me? Any ideas how I can just do that?
Or am I being selfish keeping him around and hurting his feelings, and need to just leave him alone. I don't want to be that person that plays with people's hearts. Advice on how I can stop doing this? | Really want to be friends w ex from summer fling, but is there a way I can stop sabotaging the friendship? And how can I stop doing this in the future? |
t3_34sbp3 | relationships | I [20F] don't know if I should tell my boyfriend [37M] of 6 weeks about my abuse when I was younger | So as the title says, I don't really know if I should tell my boyfriend about my abuse (sexual and mental). The topic was broached a tiny bit, but I didn't go into full detail because I wasn't ready and I don't know if he should really know.
It has caused issues in my sex life, such as I am uncomfortable with passionate sex. I want to be able to have passionate, loving sex instead of having just rough sex all the time. I'm not saying that rough sex can't be loving, it's just that in my mind, rough sex doesn't constitute "love".
I also would like for him to about this because I'm afraid if I don't, the relationship won't last long. I trust this guy and I do love him. I want to give him the respect of knowing what happened to me....since I haven't gotten into full detail with any of my past boyfriends. | I was sexually abused when younger and it still effects me to this day. I do not know if I should tell my boyfriend or even how to tell him. |
t3_1vif9j | relationships | Me [25 M] with my Girlfriend [25F] of 4 months hates it when I ask her who she is going out with. | It seems like whenever I ask my girlfriend who she is going out with she always omits when her male friends are joining her and her girlfriends.
I don't think she does it on purpose but it makes me extremely uneasy. This has become a major point of contention between us and we have had several conversations about it usually ends with her telling me she will be more honest and then getting mad that I ask when the issue comes up. Am I being crazy or is it normal for a person to want to know who their partner is drinking with? | Slightly jealous boyfriend has trust issues with girlfriends male friends and she tries to hide hanging out with them. |
t3_2qrjlr | relationships | I [19 M] don't know how to react to my ex[20 F] after she went and had sex with a friend of mine. | We were together for 3 years. We ended things around the end of October of this year. We decided it was best to spend some time apart from each other because we still want to be together. I plan on marrying this woman and having a family with her, but not anytime soon.
We chose to end things mutually to give ourselves time to see each other from a different perspective, while we weren't tied down with each other. I was okay with her seeing other guys at the time and so was she.
Fast forward to now, I find out yesterday that she had sex with one of my friends. What was interesting was that I had seen her Christmas Eve to exchange gifts, and we had sex because we missed each other. And she had sex with my friend the Monday before.
I know I have no say in her life right now, and she can go ahead and do what she wants, but how am I supposed to react to this? I obviously still love this woman, and she still loves me. We wanted this to happen, but I guess I wasn't fully prepared to handle the situation. She told me that she had no feeling while she was with him. He didn't matter to her. But that still doesn't defeat the fact that she had sex with him.
The kicker: She plans to see him again tomorrow to hang out because he is leaving for school on Thursday. I know for a fact that they will end up having sex and I honestly don't know how I'm going to feel after that.
Right now, I tend to think that everything is okay, and I'll be fine. But once in a while, I remember what she did and it gets me really depressed. I can't even look at porn the same way anymore because I think about them doing it. | My ex of 3 years recently had sex with one of my friends. How do I deal with the fact that my she's having sexual relationships with someone other than me? |
t3_2fsnk4 | relationship_advice | I (18 male) am stuck on what to do about this girl (18 female) that I like and who also likes me back | Okay, it's almost 6 AM, and I haven't had a wink of sleep, so, I'm unleashing my inner-18-year-old conundrums onto you guys.
We are both freshman in college, are both living in the same dormitory, and we both like each other a bit more than friends. She, however, wants to just be friends for the moment and get to know me. Her reasons being that she wants to focus on her work because she is a dental hygiene major and they require a 3.7 GPA in order to even be considered for advancement (I can understand this, considering that I am a music major and am trying to get into a decent grad program, hopefully with the college paying my way); and that she isn't a very touchy-feely person, even when she is in an intimate relationship with somebody. I am okay with this, as I like to ease into things myself. I also know, considering that we aren't actually an item, that I need to keep my options open. This is the first month of college. However, that being said, I have a couple of questions and concerns:
1. How can I tell if she is actually interested in me?
2. How do I keep her interested in me without being weird?
3. I know that I just need to be myself and be chill, it's really easy to be that way around her because I feel like I can be myself around her, but how will will I know when the time is right to actually make a move or be romantic, considering that she isn't a very touchy-feely person? | Need help understanding what to do when in a situation where the girl I like likes me back but just wants to be friends for the time being and isn't very touchy feely. How do I go about getting her to become more interested in me and break the awkward barrier that we have up right now? |
t3_1342wv | relationships | How can I [25m] get on the same page as her [21f]? | We are both in school (at the same school) and have been seeing each other for around 7 months. I'm quite crazy about this girl, but the relationship we have now feels emotionally and physically lacking for me. When we spend time together, its fantastic, but I only see her around once a week and we only spend a night together like once a month. Too many times I will suggest an things for us to do and she'll seem super excited about it, but when it comes down to actually putting time aside to do it, she'll be too busy, and it won't happen. Now, the nature of her program is busier, she has other jobs/volunteering obligations and she has a much larger set of friends in the area that she keeps up with, though, too. I do my best to give her space when she's super busy, but still be persistent about finding times when she is free. I feel like I am a much more marginal figure in her life compared to how I feel about her. Neither of us are particularly good communicators about relationship stuff, but it's gotten to the point where I need to say something. I am dreading putting an ultimatum on minimum physically/emotionally intimate time, but given that we've been seeing each other for seven months, maybe I just need to stick up for myself. | There is a mismatch between the apparent amount of relationship time/effort that the girl I'm crazy about has for me and the amount of time I feel I need. I want to talk to her about it. |
t3_3p1uks | legaladvice | Property Manager is dragging feet on allowing me an emotional support animal | So I recently got a letter from a therapist stating my need for an emotional support animal (ESA). I kindly asked my landlord (who referred me to the property manager who owns the business) what I should do to get the ball rolling with this.
I contacted the property manager and scanned her a copy of the therapist letter I received. I waited for five days to hear back from her and she only responded because I prompted her to. She told me she is contacting her legal team in regards to this matter.
She later emails me that the therapist who wrote the letter is located in California while I live in Illinois and have for some time now (which is true). The way the ESA process works is you fill out your symptoms online then it goes it nto a pool of applications. The therapist that accepted mine just so happened to be in California. I asked if providing her additional documentation from my local therapist and psychiatrist would help speed the process along just in case that was the issue (which it legally cant be, but whatever). I got the letter to her that stated I had been going to my local therapist for some time now and it is not a recently developed condition (which I think the manager thinks I just want to get an animal into an animal free complex ).
The lady above me has a service dog (I think for epilepsy) and from what I read I think ESAs have about the same rights as srrvice animals.
I looked up the Federal Fair Housing Amendments Act of 1988 and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and I should be in the clear here.
I have grounds to take her to court for dragging her feet and not allowing me one, right? | Property Manager is dragging feet on approving my emotional support animal even though I have proper documentation stating that I am entitled to have one. |
t3_3auqzn | relationships | Infidelity- I (24M) think my girlfriend (23F) of three years is cheating on me with her new boss | Throwaway because she has checked my reddit account in the past.
My girlfriend and I have been together for the majority of three years, minus a few months last year 6 months after our daughter was born. That couple of months was extremely difficult because of both of our actions during that time. We got back together though and a few months ago moved into a new place.
Everything was good until she started working a new job. She is a newspaper carrier so she works graveyard. Her best friend is also working there with her. Her new boss is 22 and apparently does quite well for himself. They have been spending a lot of time together for "work-related" things, but it's never just work stuff. They hang at his house all the time. She sleeps all day when she does come home after working, but can manage to stay up and watch movies or go shopping. He bought her 130$ Chanel perfume. She told me "he's just like that, he buys stuff for his friends." I feel like it was really inappropriate even if nothing IS going, but it also doesn't feel right as her SO.
I looked at one of those "Signs they're cheating" articles (I know they are full of bullshit and are poorly written) but a lot of the signs seemed to match up. She's got a new job, she dolls herself up to go throw newspapers at 1AM, she's extremely distant. The only thing is that I can't prove any of it concretely. I just have speculation.
I haven't brought any of this up to her because I don't want to be painted as a jealous asshole if I'm wrong. What should I do? There's a 20 month old in the mix too, I have to think about how all of this could affect her too. I just have a really bad feeling, and I'm usually pretty intuitive I think. | I think my girlfriend is cheating on me with her boss but I can't prove anything. What should I do? |
t3_3wtbpn | relationships | need help coping with a family members death | hey guys. Past year has sucked. Last year my great grandfather, whom i call pop, caught west nile virus. Basically, the survival rate for anyone over like 30 is slim to none. He was 97, and lived. During the few months it was in his system, he was in and out of a coma, and when he was awake he wasnt himself; mumbling, making no sense. It wasnt Pop... But, it left his system, and he came back to normal. We were all shocked. Its now been a year, and after having a collapsed lung, he went into the hospitol, and from what ive been told, hes having the sams symptoms as last year, just hallucinating and making no sense. This morning, i was told by my mother that his kidneys have started failing. Were preparing for the worst. I have never had to deal with a close family member dying. Before all this happened, he made it clear to all of us that he knew his kidneys were in bad shape, and that when the time came, he did not want to be treated. His last words to me were "keep smiling", but its too late for goodbyes as he wouldnt know what im saying. How do i cope with this? | How do i cope with a close family members inevitable passing? |
t3_1sd2bk | relationships | Me [25 M] with my _Live in GF/Baby's mom_ [20 F] Need to break up. | I've been seeing my Daughter's mother for a little more than a year now. We got a pretty good apartment closer to my college. it's 2 hours from home so no big loss on either end. Everything was fine and dandy for the longest time, but for the last 4 months I realized that (and I didn't think this was possible) I am not 'in-love' with her anymore... Don't get me wrong, there's no ill-will here. There hasn't been any huge fights, in fact I don't think there's ever been any real fights; I've never cheated on her, and I know she's not that type. Though I kinda wish she was cause this would be easier. I don't know how to tell her, I don't know what to tell her.. She's a delight to be around, I love her to death. But anything close to physical interaction and I'm completely repelled. If we didn't have the baby that would be easier, I've tried to carry on like nothing was different, I've pretended the feelings were there in hopes that they atrophied, somehow they're just laying dormant; all for our baby's sake. It doesn't help
What would you do? | My Daughter's Mother is an Angel to me, and I don't want to be any more than friends with her, what would you do? |
t3_1u6rwg | relationships | Should I (M,22) leave my girlfriend (F,20) of 3 years before moving together? | So, I have been dating a girl for 3 years now, and before we dated we were friends for 2 years. I know everything about her, and I really do love her - in the sense that I am still completely empathetic of her emotions and the idea of hurting her in any way is heartbreaking. She really is a perfect girlfriend, not jealous ever, never argues, never complains when I work late or decide to go out with friends. What I'm getting at is that if I were to write down pros and cons, it would seem silly to ever dream of splitting up.
But despite this, I feel a push to start emotionally distancing myself from her. I don't know what the root of this push is but it could be due to either loss of sexual attraction (she's put on some weight) or lack of maturation - I have very defined interests and goals and am very motivated, whereas she doesn't really have any interests yet, and her life really hasn't taken any clear focus. In conjunction with this, she is not intellectually stimulating at all, something that I find very important.
Soon, we are both planning to move to Europe for school, but then I have these qualms. I was the one that initiated the move, so I feel somewhat responsible for what happens to her over there. All in all, I don't think I want to marry her, but I do love her. So I wonder - should I break up with her now - before we move - since is is probable it won't last forever, or should I take her with me for now since I do still love her? | About to move to Europe with a girl - love her but don't want to marry her - break it off now or later? |
t3_1ytvfj | relationships | Me [19 M] jealous of my GF[20 F] sexual past. | My girlfriend and I started dating when we were 16 and went out for around a year and lost our virginities to each other. We broke up and recently got back together last month.
The topic of sex came up and she was telling me that she has slept with 8 other guys since we broke up. I played it off because she always tells me I am the best (don't they all?).
It's really been bothering me though, I just feel kind of left out. I want to experience different partners and see how different sex is but I also feel so guilty for these thoughts. I just feel like if I had slept with a few girls in that time then we would be.... even? I don't know it's really messing with my head.
I know it shouldn't but it really does. This obsession has made me develop deep trust issues and now I see any guy as competition that might steal my girl away from me.
How do I get over this? | Girlfriend has had multiple sexual partners and she's been my one and only. It's bothering me, how do I get over this? |
t3_1wxktz | relationships | My roomie and her boyfriend are fighting. How can I be there for her right now? | My(F25) roommate (F26) of 1 year and her boyfriend(M24) have been fighting recently and there's a good possibility they might break up. They've been together for about 3 years. How can I be there for her right now? What inexpensive things can I do for her? Are there any movies we should/shouldn't watch? Is it better for me to try to distract her, or to get her to talk about their issues? She's pretty private, but has been a lot more open lately about their issues.
I want to show her I support her and not try to sway her one way or the other. | Help me think of things I can do to show my roommate I support her no matter what! |
t3_2lkb3s | relationships | Me [38 M] with my wife [40 F] of 6 years, how do I tell her that she's way too messy, without starting WW3? | My wife and I moved in shortly before getting married. For a while, things seemed OK. But in the last few years, I feel like my wife has turned into a complete slob! She's very conscious of keeping things clean - the toilet, floors, sinks, etc. But when it comes to clutter and general "stuff" - she's a mess. Bags on the counter, papers stacked up everywhere, just *stuff* everywhere. We have two kids - one is an infant, less than a year old - and we have a changing area near the living room; she'll just leave dirty diapers on the floor after changing the baby. She'll set a wrapper or empty can on the kitchen counter, literally three feet from the garbage/recycle - yet she won't dispose of it properly, opting instead to clutter up the counter with garbage (literally). She's not a hoarder so I'm not concerned about mental issues - she's just messy.
I've mentioned some issues as being "just gross" or a health hazard (aka, diapers on the floor). She was good for a day or so, but just tonight I found one lying on the floor, 11 feet from the garbage can.
I'm not a clean freak, and I have my one or two spots where I leave my own clutter - but they're places that are away, separate from the general living areas. But the clutter is driving me nuts.
My theory is that, she lived with her parents pretty much her whole life (more of a cultural thing). Her mom is very old school - her mom does *everything* around their house. I don't think my wife has ever had to pick up stuff, because her mom probably did all of that for her. And now, *I'm* getting stuck in that role, mainly because I can't stand living in filth and I'm sick of asking her to pick up individual items.
What do I do, and how do I tell her this is a problem without making her upset and starting a huge argument? | Wife leaves clutter everywhere, how do I tell her and get her to stop without making her angry and upset? |
t3_2dozqd | relationships | How do I [20F] know if it's time to move on, or if I'll always regret leaving him [24M]? | I love my boyfriend of approximately 9 months but, as in all relationships, ours isn't perfect. I have severe depression that comes and goes and I've had it since I was a young child, and I'll probably always have it. He's not very supportive- he never acknowledges it, and if I try to talk about it, I feel like I'm talking to a wall. I know he wants to be there for me, but I've given up on trying to get any comfort from him because it just leaves me frustrated.
He's also much more conservative than me. He complains about me wearing dresses that hit midthigh, or talking to my roommates about their sex lives, and watching stupid corny sex shows. Last night I told him my roommates and I were watching a documentary about sex toy factories, and he went on a rant about how me doing that was nasty, disgusting, and that I should just keep stuff like that to myself. I was upset, and he got mad at me, saying that he should be able to express his opinion. I agree, but his opinion sometimes leaves me feeling like crap. I feel judged a lot, and part of that is my own insecurities, but his comments don't help.
Despite this, he's a great guy and I really love him. He's very tolerant of when I get emotionally unstable (my depression has been creeping back up and I just started medication a few days ago). He's never gotten angry or yelled at me, it's just not something he'd do. He treats me pretty well. I love his family. He's got a good job and he's invested in his future.
I would hate to break up with him because I think there's someone else I would be better with, and regret it years later. But I'm not getting what I need... So r/relationships, what do I do? | Love my boyfriend, but sometimes I feel like crap because of his opinions and lack of emotional support. Not sure if they're worth breaking up over, especially because he's really great otherwise. |
t3_2g7qtx | tifu | TIFU by cracking my friend's phone | Today in gym class, my class was walking around the track after jogging 2 laps. I had already been going through a really fucking bad day (my twin brother who is 4 mins. older than me is incredibly condescending and annoying about it). While we were walking off the track and into the school to go get changed, my friend came next to me and tried to take a selfie with me. Now, what bothers me about that is that I absolutely hate it when people take pictures of me- if someone takes the right picture of me it gets trafficked around and it ends up on Facebook for all of my friends to see.
With that being said I told my friend not to take pics of me. I swiped at his hand, and my friend dropped his phone. His phone landed screen first on concrete and cracked. I felt really, really bad about what had happened. I went as far as to offer to pay for his phone's repair.
Now, roughly 2 hours after the incident, part of me feels really fucking guilty about me having cracked my friend's screen, but another part of me doesn't because my friend was being a bit of a douche. | I cracked my friend's phone screen while he was trying to take selfies with me.*** |
t3_2btvww | relationships | How can I [23/M] meet people between work and introversion? | So I work about 50 hours a week. I work with a relatively small group of people and don't have to deal with customers or anything like that, but I find that being around people 10 hours a day really drains me. Furthermore, I'm relatively new to my town so I don't know anyone really except my coworkers who are all older than me, most with families and such. So my coworkers are pretty much all caught up in their own business, and I don't have anyone to do fun things with.
I want to meet a girl. Preferably to make some kind of connection with, but honestly, a quick bang with no strings attached would be just fine too. In the past, I've met all my girlfriends and flings through school. Well, now I'm out of school with a job and no future schooling in sight. I've been on one date in the whole year that I've lived in this town working, and it was with someone from work. We weren't really compatible, though. I knew that going into it, but she's hot and I wanted to get in her pants. It went well, but I'm not gonna get in her pants.
Anyhow, I don't know how to go about meeting people. After work, I'm fucking exhausted. It takes a very serious effort to not just go to sleep until I go to work the next day. Going to a bar or some shit, especially alone, is WAY beyond the amount of social interaction I can deal with in one day. On most weekends, I go out of town to hang out with friends, so, for the most part, I don't have an opportunity to meet people. | I work too much, and I'm typically busy on the weekends visiting friends out of town. Also, social interaction really drains me so putting myself in social situations after work is unappealing. How do I meet people? |
t3_13trwf | relationships | Is it mean not to pick up the guy I've been seeing from the airport? | I'm 25f, he's 23m. I've been seeing this guy for a few months and he's very hot and cold. Sometimes he's all about me and very sweet, but other times it just seems like he's just using me for sex.
He's stood me up on dates before, cancelled plans, etc. and I am turning into the dumb girl who waits around for him to call or changes my plans to be with him. Today he was supposed to fly back in at 2 and I told him I could pick him and drop him off. Now he's telling me he's too hungover for that flight and instead I need to pick him up at 6.
The thing is, I already made plans with my friends. I'm not sure how he will get home, but I'm also not sure if it's my responsibility. He told me a time and he flaked. Should I feel bad about this? Will this damage whatever we have? | The guy I'm seeing changed his flight time because he was hungover and I already made plans. Should I cancel them or leave him stranded? |
t3_1ouah6 | AskReddit | How much child support are my kids entitled to? | My ex-husband receives SSDI and my children receive separate checks from that. The courts have ordered him to pay $300 a month in child support in addition to the children's checks which do not count toward that amount. He draws $750 a month from SSDI and is taking me back to court because he claims I am not entitled to 40% of his income. Keep in mind he hasn't paid me a dime of support in years. Through my research I am told my children can receive between 50%-65% of his check. Is this correct? I'm not interested in raising the amount of support because he has to have something to live on too. He has no bills and lives with his mother so it's not like I am throwing him in the cold. I figured the $300 was very fair. The judge also ordered him to make arrangements with me to pay me back my lawyer fees amounting to $1,800. He says I cannot do this and refuses to pay anything towards child support or lawyer fees. | Ex-husband gets $750 from SSDI. Child support is $300. Too much or too little? What is the legal percentage in Alabama? |
t3_3zcojp | tifu | TIFU by hitting an old lady in the face with a water balloon | Mandatory this didnt happen today, but two years ago. Me and my friend used to throw waterballons at cars in our less mature days, we would position ourself at a junction in our village (no more than 10 cars passed a day at most) and would wait for our prey. It was a really warm summer day and all cars had their window open. Now our usual tactic was my friend would spot the car I would pop out of the hedge run towards the car throw the balloon and run away again. On this day the target was a gold Toyota driven by a young couple, to my dismay the front windows were closed but then I saw the back windows were open. I popped out of the hedge sprinted towards the car and as I was throwing the balloon realised there was a grandmother sitting in the back seat, the motion of my arm made her believe I was waving, oh how wrong she was it was too late the water balloon had already left my hand and the expression on her face quickly changed from joy to fear. The family spent the rest of the day driving around the village looking for us all the while me and my friend stayed in the bush before we ran home under the cover of darkness | hit an old lady in the face with a water balloon had to spend the day hiding in a bush with a friend |
t3_3q6pxx | pettyrevenge | Take my spot in the movie theater? I think not | So, this just happened and the woman is still shooting me dirty looks.
So, I decided that I wanted to go see The Martian today. I took the bus and ended up showing up 50 minutes early. So I was the only one in the theater for a good 25 minutes so I took my time picking out my ideal spot. I decided to go the bathroom before the movie so I didn't miss anything. On my way back with a soft pretzel in hand, I see the a woman with her kids and she's moving all of my stuff to a different seat so her and her kids can take my spot. I stomach it, grab my stuff and move to a different spot. While I'm sitting there eating my pretzel, I notice her and her kids all going to the bathroom. I seize the opportunity. I run, grab all their stuff, and move it to seats right in front of the entrance so they'll see it as soon they walk in. I then reclaim my rightful place in my perfect spot. The lady comes in, sees her stuff, looks at me, connects the dots, and now has been shooting the occasional death glance from the front row and every other spot filled up. | Went to the movies. Women stole my spot. Now has a terrible spot. |
t3_jtqrf | AskReddit | Can anyone tell me if this makes sense? | Okay, so imagine that our world is actually just a slave world. It wasn't always a slave world, but we were captured by intelligent beings a long long time ago. And what did these intelligent beings want? The same thing any other thing wants, fuel. But it's fuel we cannot see at all. It's spirit fuel. You ask what is spirit fuel? Well hold on a second partner, I'll tell you.
See to get this ever precious fuel that these intelligent beings wanted, they planted a seed, more of like a mission, a long long time ago. This mission was one that went against reason and had a slim chance of actually working. It was religion. The intelligent being's fuel was based on devotion and tribute, and they knew that if they created themselves as rulers, they would be forever able to have fuel. And they knew problems would eventually arise, so they had a hand in punishing people or performing miracles, because they are more intelligent than us and can do amazing things. But they are constantly doing more things and gaining more and more fuel.
Have you ever wondered why we can't do certain things? Like fly or explore the universe completely, or even many mysteries in science? Or why have we not encountered more intelligent beings? It's because if we discover enough, we'll discover them. | Fucking read it dude, you don't have anything better to do. |
t3_1p3waq | relationship_advice | I'm [21/m] about to have my first gf [18/f]. How do I ask her to split dutch on dates? | Hello Readers of Reddit,
This Reddit has been really helpful to me, and so here is another problem to be solved (don't think it's a major one).
So I love this freaking girl a lot. She's funny, smart, and caring. But, I only have one issue with her. I probably should just talk to her about it, but I am not sure how to do so tactfully.
So, we often go on dates, and we have enjoyed every single of our dates. However, I have been paying for every single date so far. Initially, I sort of wanted to impress her, and while she did offer, I just had to pay for her, because something in my head told me to. However, given more time, I realized that I was spending quite a bit on her. Each date was costing me around $80-90. Keep in mind that I just finished graduation, and I am only a simple Engineering in Training (E.I.T.) I have had 4 dates with her, and I have realized that these costs will keep climbing if I don't cap it now. She offered the first few times, but later on just seemed to not offer at all, which is sort of exactly the opposite of what I had hoped for lol (and I might be at fault here). I didn't want to talk to her about this, as I don't want to come off as cheap, but this sort of spending is not sustainable for me.
I aim to start my business soon, and as a result I want to be saving money. This also means that I may not at all be able to afford her part of the dates at all as I would want to save as much money as possible. As such, I want to go dutch on all the dates from now on.
Of course, once she becomes my wife, things will be different. But, we are not at that point yet. So ladies and gents, what is a tactful way of approaching this topic? Oh, keep in mind she's my first gf, and I have no experience with this sort of stuff. | Spent a lot of money on first few dates. Realized it's not sustainable. Need her to pay her share now. |
t3_1qcdih | relationships | I [25F] moved cross country to move-in with my BF [25M] and I think I made a huge mistake | I [25F] moved cross country to move in with my BF [25M] and it's been a little over a month and I think I made a huge mistake. We've been dating for 2 years but because he is in the military we've never spent more than 2 weeks together at a time.
He constantly acting like he is in a fraternity and he's constantly pointing out how hot other women are to his friends and he does this right in front of me. I've told him to cut that shit out but he continues to do it. I feel like the original idea of who i thought my boyfriend was has shattered and all I can see is this disgusting wannabe frat boy.
It's hard because I don't know anybody here and pretty much spend all day at home by myself while I look for work. I feel like if I move home people will think I'm weak and a failure.
Also I know this is bad, but about a year ago I met a guy who became a friend and we kissed once when we were drunk. Nothing like that ever happened again but I can't help but think about him a lot lately and compare my bf to him. Before I moved he told me he had feelings for me and that it was best that we probably didn't text or fb each other for a while but since I sit at home all day I can't help but text him almost everyday and when he texts me back I'm so happy till my bf comes home and just immediately turns on his xbox to play video games.
Moving in has not at all been what I thought it would be like. I don't know what to do. If i move home how do I explain to all my family & friends that this was a huge mistake and i'm a failure? | Moved cross country to move in with my boyfriend and he acts like a pig and constantly points out how hot other women are in front of me. I can't stop thinking about a guy back home. Dunno if I should stay or go. |
t3_nx4l7 | AskReddit | On clairvoyance... | I was talking to my girlfriend today and she brought up one her high school friends who claimed to be able to predict things. She said he predicted the Tsunami and the death of his puppy, amongst other things. I approached the entire subject with skepticism. We are both science majors (biology). I almost entirely wrote it off as bullshit, but my gf was trying to convince me that it was possible. I thought it was very odd that someone so involved in the scientific process of experimentation would accept something that her friend told her. That she would also try to convince me of it was also surprising. I was hoping to get the opinions of some redditors on the subject. | My girlfriend thinks her friend is psychic. I think its BS. Thoughts? |
t3_37f5ks | relationships | Me [20 M] with my GF [18 F] of 2.5yrs. Her guy friend confessed his feelings for her and kissed her. | Hello /r/relationships
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years. She has a good guy friend that I don't really care for, but he makes her happy so I deal with it. They text all the time, and smoke weed all the time. They hang out about every other day.
For some more background; my girlfriend has been kissed by 2 guys in the past. She does not text these guys anymore, but occasionally she does see them. Not often enough for it to matter.
Saturday my girlfriend told me that her good guy friend (Lets call him Jake) confessed his liking for her. After a lot of questioning she said he tried to kiss her. Then after more questioning, she told me he did kiss her.
I was willing to have her just not text Jake and hang out with him all the time, but after knowing he kissed her, I don't like this. The thing is that Jake knew she is dating me. I have met him before, but he crossed a line.
She said she is not going to cut him out of her life, but I love her and still want to date her, but I don't know if i'll be able to handle her always texting him and hanging out with him like nothing happened.
Also it should be noted that she does not want to cut off contact with him because he is a great friend AND it will mean she loses the friend circle. This guy is always with some of her other friends, and they will not be able to hang out without Jake in her life.
What do I do? | Girlfriends good friend kissed my girlfriend. Girlfriend does not want to cut off contact because that means she will lose the friend circle, not just him. What do I do? |
t3_1xyzgk | relationships | Me [24 M] and my SO [22 F] have been seeing each other on/off for 6 years, our disagreements are a too large. | Background:
Her and I have had contact since our teenage years. We just sort of existed, coming back to one another for romance, not regular relationships or even sex. Just comfort really. A little over year ago we had sex for the first time. We have only just recently (the past 2 months) started communicating regularly. Talking, not sex.
My Issue:
We don't agree on anything I consider important. We disagree on religion; her family is very religious and I am not. We disagree on politics; she is pro gun control, a pacifist and so on, I am not. We disagree on spending; She likes spending things on friends and gifts, I prefer vacations and experiences.
I feel like these are some important issues we disagree on. We don't fight, we just disagree. We are pretty good actually. If she gets upset she just walks away until she is ready to talk and I let her go. We aren't dating but I'm not sure her and I should even consider it. I feel like we disagree so heavily we would just be wasting our time. It seems a shame because we are very good at tending to each others emotional needs, and we have a lot of history at this point. Are our values too different? | I disagree with my SO on hot-button issues. Should I kill this relationship now because it has no future of success due to a difference in values? |
t3_3y93fa | relationships | My gf [31/F] keeps assuming the worst in me [32/M] | My gf (of a year) keeps telling me that she thinks i'm going to do something awful to her, even though I've been a pretty decent boyfriend. She gets the feeling that i'm going to cheat on her, not take care of her in the future, or our potential future family.
It all started when I told her that it'd be nice if she would drive and pay for our activities more often. Since I pay for (80%) and drive to (90%) of our activities, I thought it'd be nice if I could catch a break more often, especially since I don't earn that much more than her.
Any suggestions on what I should do? We regularly have arguments about this because she thinks that it's my job to take care of her because it's part of being a man. | My gf thinks i'm going to do something awful to her even though I've been a good bf. What should I do? |
t3_vhdu8 | AskReddit | I want to be an autodidact. Where are some exceptional resources for learning on the internet? | Like many Redditors I'm a relatively tech-savy twenty something working a crapshoot job while I look for something better. I need to get some more education, and planned to, but then I read about [this guy.] He built a machine that can (possibly) destroy cancer and (quite awesomely) set salt water on fire--and he [taught himself how to do it!](
How inspiring I thought. How frugal I thought. I'd never imagined learning this way, but suddenly it seemed so appealing. Where would I need to begin? What can and can't be done without ever stepping inside a classroom? To work in the IT field would there certifications I would need to test out of, and would being informally trained be any kind of a inherent impediment in seeking a job? Am I underestimating the value of classroom equipment and a guy whose paid to already know all this crap? Too many questions. I have no idea who to ask because I don't know any self taught experts. And maybe that's a bad sign.
Even if getting a job from self training is a lofty notion, it still seems like a good hobby to try to just learn new things. I want to know everything I can find about information technology: Servers, networking, security, programming languages, etc. I'd mainly like online resources, but I could go analog for good book.
To keep it interesting, what extremely useful or comprehensive resources on a useful skill do know of? Electronic engineering, carpentry, cooking, exercises--whatever, just so long as it's free and informative in a constructive way.
Thanks | Post/Read links about learning stuff! |
t3_2gj1dh | relationship_advice | I (18/m) want to get out of the "acquaintance" zone with a classmate (18/f) | So, I'm currently a freshman in college, and am, in general, a pretty severe introvert. Anyway, I met an amazing girl here that I want to become better friends with. Unfortunately, it seems like she's a cut above me in just about every way - she's utterly brilliant, athletic, adventurous, and a really nice person to boot. This wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the fact that I'm a distinctly uninteresting person, and often find myself at a loss for things to talk to her about. As it stands, we're friendly acquaintances - we live in the same building, see each other occasionally, and so on. I'd really like to be on friendlier terms with her, to the point where we can hang out together and consider one another good friends. How should I go about this? I suppose I should reiterate the fact that I'm an introvert, and decidedly bad at smalltalk, particularly when it has to go beyond the rather boring basics of where one is from, what they're studying, etc. | I'm an introvert and bad conversationalist who wants to become friends with this amazing girl I met at college. |
t3_1zeexd | relationships | I am [19 F] in an open relationship with [21 M] and not sure where it will go from here | I'm a sophomore at Cornell (in NY) and he runs a company in silicon valley - we agreed to an open relationship before I left for school this year (previously dated on/off for two years). We are very serious, and he refers to me as the love of his life. I love him a lot too - sometimes I wonder how I landed such an amazing guy.
We skyped last night and it came up that he hadn't hooked up with anyone and I had been hooking up with a guy at my school and he didn't take it well. He didn't guilt trip me or anything even though I know for a fact that he's been avoiding very attractive girls that have been asking him out (he's very charismatic and good-looking, also helps that he's 21 and has already made millions on his own). He just suggested a break, we are still on good terms and plan to see each other over break.
I feel terrible. I'm not sure what's going to happen in the next three years before I graduate. Was doing an open relationship silly in the first place? He did it for my sake (because college) he would've had no trouble not hooking up with other girls while I'm gone. If I have trouble staying loyal does it mean I don't really love him? Or am I just not mature enough yet? Maybe it had something to do with how I was hooking up with the same guy here? Is there any chance it'll work out? | Open serious long distance college relationship with incredible guy. He hasn't hooked up with anyone, I have. He suggested a break after I told him. Not sure where to go from here.. |
t3_lk1zh | BreakUps | How to mend a broken heart in 43 days? | Met an amazing guy while volunteering in Asia last January 2011. I'm a 22 y/o American and he is a 21 y/o Aussie. After leaving Asia, we both went to our respective countries but kept in touch and grew so close together and eventually fell in love. I graduated in May and came here (Melbourne AUS) for an internship but more to be with him.
I am one of those girls that will do anything for the people I care about - friends, family, boyfriend. I love people carefully, but when I do, I love them unconditionally. He is one of those guys that every girl wants to date but no one believes exists. Not a jealous bone in his body, incapable of being mean or selfish, and the most gentle and loving soul you will encounter.
He just broke up with me meh 10 hours ago. He was meant to come home (USA) with me in December for Christmas to meet my family. When I asked him about it again just two days ago, he really freaked at the thought of meeting my family (though I lived with his for 2 months), thought it was too much to invest emotionally and decided that he can't 'give me what I deserve'. So yep, its over and I am now residing in a country where the number of people I know I can count on half of one hand.
Reddit, I'm searching for 43 ways to mend my broken heart over the next 43 days - until I go home (alone) for Christmas and am back with my family and closest friends. I have never felt so alone or scared in my life, and it doesn't help being away from everyone I know. I just want each day to have a purpose, to help me get through the next 6 weeks without him.
Anything, Reddit. Really, anything helps. | Moved to Australia in May to be with my Aussie boyfriend, and he broke up with me once plans were being made for him to come home (USA) with me to meet my family. |
t3_u4bei | AskReddit | Uneven workload :( uncooperative co-worker and their enablers! | Hey guys and dolls. I work in a small environmental lab where, for the most part, I enjoy working as it interests me greatly blah blah. There is one specific girl who, for whatever reason, refuses (silently) to do any work unless specifically instructed by our lab manger (the enabler as he never instructs).
As a result of her lack of work ethic, others have to pick up the slack, including me and as we get busier the slack created by such prick-e-ness is overwhelming! I consider myself somewhat proactive in the workplace and I start before the manager so I start a project on my own accord... Where she sits on the computer doing 'statistics' aka Facebook checking so clueless people let her do that instead of actual work.
Anyway, we have a performance review coming up (conducted by the manager) and part of the review is my opinion on how everyone else is contributing to the work environment etc.
The question is, do I tell the manager (and enabler) about her shortcomings? BONUS Q: can I even bring this up without sounding like a whining byutch!? | co-worker (born-again-Christian) is a slacker and brings morale down. Opinions? |
t3_114750 | relationships | [22, F] Friends are all moving away or growing apart. Having trouble moving on and making new friends. (X-post from TwoX) | I'm a 22 year old college student. When I first started at my current school, I was pretty lonely. I had just had a major falling out with my best friend from high school, who was pretty much the only friend I had at the time. After a deeply depressing and lonely year and a half, I met a very close girlfriend and through her, met the most amazing group of friends I've ever had. It was the first time I had a group of friends that all hung out with each other. I think it was one of the happiest times I've ever had.
Then, about 6 months ago, everyone started graduating and/or moving away. I still have a year left of school, and I've been left mostly by myself. I still have a few friends here, but it's almost like they've decided to move on from the group now that some members are gone. They're flaky and hard to make plans with. Some don't even answer calls/texts half the time anymore.
I just moved in with my boyfriend of 4 years, and honestly if I was still living by myself, I feel like I would be just as depressed as I was before. Right now, he makes up the majority of my social outlet. I love hanging out with him, but I miss having girlfriends to hang out with.
I'm having a lot of trouble 'moving on' and making a new group of friends. I don't know if I'm scared, or putting way too much thought into making friends. I've always been very worried about having/making friends and I have no idea why. I don't have any classes right now that I would feel comfortable making friends- they're all huge lecture halls, and no one really talks to each other.
I feel so awkward and pathetic and lonely. Every time this happens (which it has several times- college is a time for lots of change, I guess), I feel as though I'll never, ever make any friends again. I know this isn't true, but I get so wrapped up in this thought. | my group of college girlfriends are all drifting apart and moving away, and I'm having trouble trying to deal. How do I keep my spirits up, move on and make new friends? |
t3_2e4y1d | relationships | Friendzoned or pussy [I18m she 17f]? | We[I male18 she female 17] met at like 9.30p.m. and were trying to figure out what to do next.
So far so good. We went on a play area and were chilling there. I realized very fast that she is never looking into my eyes/making eye contact. This stood out for me since it's kinda normal to do this while speaking, isn't it? She was speaking a lot so I don't know... I never speak much it was like 30/70 and no eye contact on her part at all.
So time was running away and we were chllin' together and walking around from time to time.
1:20 a.m. we both go to the closed amusement part, went into this shop with dumper cars. I was thinking it was pretty romantic, it was her offer. We were listening to music not talkin' that much anymore. Was still pretty nice in my opinion.
And still no eye contact. The entire time she kept the level of eyecontact realllly low.
Later we went away for one and half an hour and got back in to those dumber cars again. This time she is really sleepy lying on my shoulder not much to talk still. Really cold outside listening to music.
As it progressed we both wanted to go home(clock shows 4:20 a.m.) so i bring her to the station and wait for her metro she hugs me as always and goes in.
Texting with her still... not sure about her. We spent 7 hours togehter, didn't kiss, maybe it was me. Not reading the signals but without eye contact going for a kiss? Am i just to insecure about it or just friendzoned?
She wants to go to the cinema with me for a second "date?". | no kiss | no/low eye contact | 7 hours long pretty much alone with no soul near us |
t3_2imx7t | offmychest | I just found out that my boyfriend and I were both the "other person" in an adulterous relationship with the SAME COUPLE. | I'll make this short as possible. There was a couple here at college. The girl cheated on her boyfriend with my current boyfriend (who was unaware at the time of her taken status).
So meanwhile, I hooked up with the guy in the relationship, allowing him to cheat on his girlfriend without me knowing. His intentions were to make her upset, I found out.
We were talking about that sort of thing today, and I started connecting the dots... it was a big "WHAT THAT WAS YOU" moment. Please also note that my boyfriend is the last person I'd expect to be hooking up with someone who he isn't dating, so that was kind of shocking on top of it!
We were both revenge fucks for the same couple. The universe is telling me it is meant to be. Romance is NOT dead!
I'm also not sure why I find this so hilarious, probably because knowing my boyfriend's personality and the fact that we didn't even know we had mutual friends, it is just a totally absurd situation. | SMALL WORLD |
t3_46dit6 | tifu | TIFU by accidentally convincing a group of people at my high school to download mac keeper on all their computers | So to clear up some confusion I go to a private school and everyone is required to have a laptop. Pretty much everyone has a mac and there really aren't very many kids who have a lot of computer common sense. Not to say I'm some wizard it's just people think I'm this fedora hacker because I browse reddit on night mode (I find it easier to read). Well, I was talking to this kid on the basketball team about some ads that kept on popping up on his computer. Knowing it was adware, I got rid of it for him and he thanked me, but I jokingly told him that should get mac keeper to prevent this from happening. This is where I fucked up. He told all his friends (who all were having pop ad problems) that mac keeper would fix it. It resulted in about 15 - 20 kids downloading mac keeper to their macs and the IT person at our school called me to the office. Since the IT person knows that I know better she thinks that I was intentionally trying to sabotage these kids and that there should be some punishment. She told the dean of students and there is going to be a meeting about it tomorrow. I'm honestly not really sure why this is that big of deal but the IT lady was upset and the dean is kind of a hot head when it comes to this stuff, so it sounds like a lot of detention hours ahead. | Told one person that they should download mac keeper, ended in about 20 people downloading it. |
t3_195zjc | relationships | I love my girlfriend [18F] but she's very emotional, cries over little things. How can I help her better herself? | Some background:
I, [19m] have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for the past year and two months. She's smart, cute, funny, and just as weird as me. She's someone I can talk about anything to. She's also the cheesy type. She used to be in a emotionally abusive relationship with her ex in the past. She'll get upset over small things, to the point where she'll cry and or not eat the whole day. I try to comfort her and it usually works until something else upsets her and it happens again. When things are fine our relationship is amazing. This girl is my best friend, we've known each other literally our whole lives and I don't want to end things because of this. How do I help her? Is this something that can be changed? | Girlfriend and I have an amazing relationship, aside from the fact that she'll get extremely emotional over little things and cry which is problem. How do I help? |
t3_1wos37 | relationships | I (m20) am at a loss with my g(f17) | Now before you guys freak out I'm from Australia this is completely legal.
So I've been dating this girl for a little over a month and she is great I really like her, but she is completely in love with me which is fine and I have strong feelings for her but wouldn't call it love yet.
I am currently suffering from depression due to my EX-GF and medical issues and and a lot of other shit. Now my gf knows about my EX and how much it fucked me up and everything.
My GF play a prank on me last night that was of very bad taste. And I freaked out and she feels terrible now, but last night I got very little sleep and thought about my EX a lot.
So my question is should I keep this girl I really like even though it isn't really fair when I still love my ex? | Still have feelings for my EX do I dump my GF? |
t3_4w608o | relationships | I (24F) don't want to tell boyfriend (22M) about my childhood. Advice? | I had kind of a bad childhood (emotional and occasional physical abuse from very religious father, fighting parents etc) I ended up being disowned by my father when I was 20 then my parents divorced now I am only in touch with my mother and siblings (we get on well though there is some distance between us, both physical and emotional). Bottom line is I feel as though I am over it and want to move on.
Ive been with my boyfriend for almost a year and have never talked to him about any of this. In my previous relationship I told my ex about it and he was horrible about it (long story) and although I know my new boyfriend would never be like that I still am afraid of opening up to him about that. My main reason though is that I dont like dwelling on it, and Im so happy when Im with him I dont want to talk about it at all.
As time goes on though Im feeling more and more guilty, like Im lying to him or hiding something from him. He's never asked about it, if he did I guess Id tell him the truth but I cant help feeling bad about it and worrying that Im being dishonest. Its also making me worry about him meeting my family, I cant even explain why. Any similar experiences, advice, words from the wise? | dont wanna tell boyfriend about shitty childhood, feel horrible about it. What should I do? |
t3_2tb9yc | jobs | Need advice on whether to omit some previous work for a background check. | Hey everyone, first time poster on this subreddit.
I've been called for a second interview for a Fortune 500 banking company (Mortgage Banker position). From the accounts i've read on glassdoor it seems that at this stage the job is all but guaranteed as long as I have the right personality/disposition at the interview.
The problem I'm facing right now is that before tomorrows interview I have to provide an extensive work history with dates, contact numbers, etc. During high school I worked two jobs, as a dishwasher (under the table so i'll leave this out), and as a team member at a hardees restaraunt.
I quit the hardees job because I had to take several weeks off on basically zero notice (dad had custody for a vacation, he changed his mind about letting me skip about 24 hours prior). The manager at the time may remember things differently, and im concerned what he might say if contacted. Also, I have no hard records concerning my dates of employment, I just know it was for a few months in 2006-2008.
I haven't listed the Hardees job on my resume or cover letter that I submitted, but i'm told that this company is absolutely thorough with their background check and that they will go and call every reference and past employer (going back 10 years). So, long story short: If I leave out the Hardees experience is there any possibility that they could find it in the background check?
I don't want the failure to mention a fast food job from my high-school days be the reason I don't get hired. | Is it possible that a company could find out that I didn't list a fast-food job I had in 2007 in my application when they conduct a background check/screen? |
t3_2unfiq | tifu | TIFU by having a mental breakdown | so mental illness runs in my family. almost everyone on my mother's side is on a cocktail of medications. I, however am unmedicated at this point. I have SAD, but i can handle it. I'm usually ok regardless. something happened last week where I completely disassociated, pretty much randomly--I had no feelings about anything. not my husband or my dog or my job, just nothing. not hate, not love, not even mild disappointment, just nothing. and it freaked me out. so I was trying to just power through that feeling, because I know at this point that its only temporary, but my husband kept asking me "what's wrong?" and, being the painfully honest person i am, i tell him "i can't tell if I love you any more and it's freaking me out" when i should have said "I can't feel anything right now and it's freaking me out" and then i said "I'm sure it will pass. I'm sure it's just temporary" so now i don't know what to do. because even though the episode is over, he's still acting weird and says that I have to "earn his trust back". I only told him what was going on in my mind because he asked, and I love and trusted him enough to tell him the truth. which might have been the wrong call i guess. | i suck at expressing myself accurately. |
t3_217nrk | relationships | Female friend of [m]ine is jealous that I flirt with other women | I'm male, 22. She's female, 20.
Scenario:
I ask a woman out. She says that she just wants to be friends. I'm cool with this. A week later, she sees me flirting with another woman and gets butthurt over it.
This is like a huge warning sign for me. Somewhere along the line I was supposed to read her mind and understand, well, whatever super-secret message she was sending.
I really don't want to deal with more bullshit (mind games, hinting) from this woman - and I sure as hell will never date her now - but I still want to be friends with her. What are my options?
What makes some women do this? | Woman is sending mixed signals. I want to bail but still be friends. |
t3_2eb6sh | tifu | TIFU by watching the IT Crowd | Put on your [slightly bigger glasses] ( Two weeks ago I opened a new bank account and needed to remember my account number. Naturally, I set it to [the tune of the British Emergency Services phone number] (
Last week I went to the bank to deposit checks and it worked perfectly. Unfortunately, it worked a little too well. On my way out, I kept singing it 2 or 3 times before I realized what I was doing. I'm not a particularly quiet singer. I had passed a couple of people but I didn't think too much of it.
Well yesterday my identity was stolen. | I paid the price for singing such a catchy string of numbers. |
t3_4jx0hc | dogs | [Help] Recently moved: how long is normal for her to be stressed? | Lola is a 2yo Jack Russell who isn't a big fan of change. If we move chairs to vacuum, she gets uncomfortable. So, when we moved to a new apartment last weekend, we were careful to keep her out of it as much as possible by sending her to the groomers or doggy day care.
Unfortunately, she still saw a lot of the packing and boxes, and she's been noticeably stressed ever since. She spent almost 12 hours at doggy daycare while we moved, and she spent most of it sitting by the gate waiting for us to come back. She LOVES playing with other dogs, so this was a pretty good sign for us.
Now that she's in the new place, she still seems on edge. She's eating and drinking normally, and there's no lapses in potty training. She doesn't cry in her kennel or have any qualms about going into it. But, she doesn't have as much energy as normal, and she's constantly watching the window and barking at sounds. In the old apartment, she would sit by the window and watch everything, but she would never bark. Now, she's barking whenever she hears or sees people or dogs. We're trying to correct it, but we have not caught her in the act, so I don't think she's making the connection.
It's only been a few days in the new place, so I assume this is a normal transition. Does anybody know how long it normally takes for them to adapt? Any tips to help her? | Dog is slow to adapt to new place. Looking for general advice/timeline on how long it will take her to adapt. |
t3_3pnnky | relationships | Me [21 F] with my SO [22 M] of 1.5 years - not sure if bored, or just comfortable? | Some background: this is mine and his first serious relationship. We both have been with other people before our relationship, but only for a few months. He is a recent college graduate, and I graduate in December. He is currently training in the military in another state, so we have been long distance since August and plan to move in together when I graduate. I have some depression/anxiety problems and so I wonder if these thoughts are caused by them.
Hi all, I've been feeling a bit restless for the past couple of months regarding my relationship with my boyfriend. I love him very much, and honestly I can't picture me or him being with anyone else. Since I've been with him, I don't even look at other guys. We have talked about marriage a few years down the road and both have similar life goals. In the most cliche way, you could say we are perfect together - he's respectful, caring, honest, and attractive, and I don't think it's possible for me to find a better guy for me. We've grown so close and comfortable this past year and a half and I really enjoy his company.
However, I've been feeling weird since about August. I love him, but something feels off with me and I'm not sure what it is. I went to see him last weekend and everything was great, I enjoyed spending time with him and realized how much I missed him. These weird feelings have really been eating away at me, and I have told him about them when they first came up.
I know now that it's normal for the "butterflies" to ebb and flow later on, so I *really* want to figure out how I feel and solve this problem. I don't want to ignore it because I know that it's a personal problem that would come up even in later relationships. I have also had a fear of commitment in the past and used to be a bit of a heartbreaker (which I feel awful about now), so I also wonder if I'm freaking out a little bit because we have become so serious? How can I figure out how I feel? | Freaking out about my relationship. How can I figure out if I'm bored with my SO, or just comfortable? |
t3_140u2a | AskReddit | My classmate stabbed his girlfriend 12 times, because he thought she was pregnant, Reddit what seemingly normal people do you know did insane stuff? | I had a classmate his name was Cortae Diaz Kelly. He was a pretty laid back guy throughout middle school. He would just smoke weed, keep to himself and chase after any females he wanted to. However, starting with high school, he brought an airsoft pistol to school and that got him expelled for a year. He ended up transferring to a nearby district, with a very bad rep. So him being normal Cotrae, starts going out with this girl Arianne. There was a story about this girl before she hooked up with Cortae that she told her old boyfriend she was pregnant so he beat the shit out of her, and then they broke up.
One day, Cortae gets a text from this girl telling him, she thinks she might be pregnant, next he lures her out into the woods by the school and stabs the fuck out of her. They counted maybe 12 or more entry wounds, she played dead to get Cortae to leave the crime scene. A runner comes by and gets Arianne an ambulance. She was in critical condition and had to stay in the hospital for about a month. Presently Cortae is in a prison for at least 35 years and Arianne moved far away. C'est la vie. | Don't stick your dick or vagina in crazy. |
t3_3tz972 | offmychest | Apology for a past incident | So a few months ago when i dropped out of my year abroad, i met up with the ex i had broken up with when i left. Long story short, we hooked up for one night and i stole his facebook password, hacked into his facebook and his best friend found out after i drunkenly told her.
I foudn things that hurt, things that angered me. Its been almost a year since this happened. Ive been travelling, had jobs abroad and ive started back at uni (where he also is). Essentially, Ive moved on, from him, from the situation i was in, i made my own therapy by travelling and meeting new people and seeing new things. Even with this, i still feel guilty about what i did and unfair that i haven't made the effort to clear the air.
I have a new bf who im happy with but i just feel like apolgising to my ex for my actions would be closure. When he found out, i was abroad so could only apologise by message and i was quite a mess. Part of me just wants to release the guilt and another part in genuinely sorry and i just want to clear the air, no continued contact, just a sorry and goodbye.
Im not sure what to do, i continue to think about it and other times i just think, 'well it happened, move on, theres nothing you can do'.
I understand shit happens, but i feel like its going to nag me for the rest of my time here (espeecially since were at the same institution), if i at least don't make an effort and try to redeem some of my morality and atone my actions. I know it was wrong, but at the time i was depressed, confused, shocked and in love after a lot of shitty events.
Any suggestions? | i did something shit to my ex after we broke up that was genuinely wrong and im trying to decide whether to apologise to clear the air. No continued contact wanted after. |
t3_3myh01 | relationships | My [20 M] girlfriend [18 F] of three years drinks and smokes way too much | So my girlfriend recently went to college, and is actually closer to me now that has been in the past. It's been wonderful insofar as we actually get to see each other pretty regularly now rather than with months in between.
However, my girlfriend has also started drinking and smoking a lot since she got here. This doesn't make me uncomfortable because I'm against the actions (I do them too) but rather I think she's just doing them too often. She's started drinking on weekdays when she has classes the next day, and will essentially take any opportunity she can to get high or drunk.
I think this has a lot to do with her new friends that she's hanging out with. However, I don't want to be the bad guy and tell her to stop hanging out with them, since she never really had friends in high school. I do, however, think that these friends aren't the right crowd to hang out with. She keeps blowing off other groups of people because she's not "feeling well" to go hang out with this other group and get cross-faded.
I don't want to tell her to stop because she's new to college and I understand that she has to do some dumb things. I just did this stuff a couple years ago when I came to college and I don't want her to repeat my mistakes. | My girlfriend is drinking and smoking a lot, almost every day, and its interfering with her life. I don't know if I should tell her to stop, or just ride out the wave. |
t3_559bdl | relationships | Me [20 F] with my Fuck Buddy [30 M] of 1 and a half years, tells me I'm not hot | So I have a fuck buddy, he is the first person I ever slept with.
I've slept with other guys since too, but all of them seemed more 'into me' or nicer to me than my fuck buddy. Unfortunately I only ever enjoyed the sex with my fuck buddy.
My fuck buddy makes comments implying that attractiveness really matters to him, including that he only ever fucks young women under the age of 35, but if they're over the age of 35 they have to be hot enough to make up for being old.
He's told me that some girls are good looking, hot and I'm just not hot or good looking.
He tells me he wants to have a threesome or wants a girl to watch us and that he wishes a hot girl would watch or join us. I feel like that makes me feel unappreciated, why would he want a hot girl to join in when he tells me I'm not hot? I asked why can't she be not hot, like you tell me I am? And he says that it's because it would "just be better if she was hot". Am I supposed to be offended by that? Is he trying to tell me he thinks I'm not good enough for him?
I've slept with guys who like worship me and tell me I am beautiful, stunning, hot etc before. Almost no other guy who has slept with me has told me that I'm not hot. Honestly it kind of makes me feel like shit to be told that other girls are hotter than me and I know I don't have to put up with it - plenty of hot young guys out there to call me gorgeous and love me.
Is this offensive and rude, or would other ladies be fine with a guy talking to her like that? I don't really like it and I think it's a bit disrespectful and upsetting, but maybe I'm wrong and some girls/guys think it's fine to be treated like that. | Basically he tells me I'm not hot, is that ok? |
t3_thao6 | AskReddit | Got pulled over with a suspended DL | Hello Reddit, I don't really know what to expect...
I have a suspended DL and I got pulled over. They released the car to my sister but I got a ticket and don't know what else to expect. I got it suspended due to a DUI (which I'm actually not sure about because I didn't have to go to AA or take any kind of classes or pay any fee). I live in California and I'm 20.
Will it affect me getting back my DL?
What kind of fine am I looking at?
Reason why my DL was suspended: So this happened in October of 2011. Three co-workers and I went to a club and stopped by a 711 across the street to buy some 4 Lokos. So I parked a couple blocks away from the the club and i turned off my car and my co-worker
handed me a 4 loko and i drank some but then I saw a light down the street and said, "oh i think its a cop" so my co worker put the 4 loko next to my tire and we walked away. Well my co-worker kept going in and out of my car and the cop made three stops before stopping us (walking). He asked who's 4 Loko that was and my co-worker denied it being ours. He took my alcohol blood level and it was .02 but I was 19 at that time. He gave me a paper which said I had to call and have a hearing. Cop changed the story and I got my DL suspended for a year.
Reason why I'm driving: I have to get to school and work and every once in a while go pick up my sister and her son. My mom recentlyleft my dad, my dad is always drinking, my sister doesn't live with us and my brother is never home.
Reason why I got pulled over: My sister wasn't wearing a seat belt and my nephew didn't have a booster seat. Apparently they now have to be 8 years old or 4'9'' in order to ride without one. | I got pulled over while my DL is suspended and I don't know what to expect. I live in CA and I'm 20. |
t3_2wuxnh | relationships | Me [25F] dating [34M] and feel zero physical attraction but personality wise we click. Am I too picky? | Hello,
short backstory: I was in a rather abusive relationship 5 years ago for 2 years, he left me a bit "damaged" (slightly scared of physical contact due to several times "sex" without consent).
I haven't been dating due to that and using university as an excuse for not dating.
Now this guy messaged me on a plattform and it instantly clicked, we can talk for hours on the phone and in person.
But I just can't imagine anything else, there is really no attraction what so ever from my side. He keeps mentioning that I am his type and how good I look (which makes me really uncomfortable). But I instinctivly rather not get too near to him.
And now I worry if I am really slightly "broken" after my ex-boyfriend or too picky. He is not ugly, fat or unhygenic. I don't know what I find wrong about him.
I have this deep fear of never finding anyone, I am not totally unattractive but I have really low self-esteem which makes me unattractive.
The problem is, I have a deep struggle between the feeling that I don't find him attractive at all and that I should give it a try and stop being so picky.
I haven't "clicked" with a person so instantly ever before, there is just the issue of physical attraction. I am hating myself a bit for being so picky when I shouldn't.
Is there anything I can do to fix the issue with the attraction?
I thought about getting drunk and sleeping with him to see if that fixes it. But I assume that might be insulting for him and will damage my pride.
And it feels like unfair to him if I keep him hanging like this. I dodged two kisses last date (second date) and declined the invitation to his place. I was surprised when he messaged me the next day, I thought I ruined everything but seems like he is really focused...
But what now, should I keep trying and see if my brain starts behaving or should I end it before I hurt him (more)? | Dating a guy I have no physical attraction to, but we can talk for hours. Anything I can do to fix my attraction issue? Or is it just not meant to be a relationship? |
t3_1gggi8 | AskReddit | How should I please both (divorced) parents at graduation? | My parents had a very acrimonious divorce when I was aged 3, since then they have moved on with their lives with different partners/other children etc. However, both seem to bear a grudge at one another and have harboured these ill feelings for 18 years, with me constantly stuck in the middle.
When I was aged 6 my father moved in with another woman and due to this stopped all contact with me, for which my mother had never forgiven him. Since then he has tried to get back into my life. I understand that my mother has sacrificed a lot for me but recently my dad has been there for me too. i wanted them both there at the ceremony because despite their faults they are both still my parents and no matter what i still love them.
My mother has made it quite clear that she doesn't want him there, even though I have said she will spend the actual day with me and my father and I will go to dinner the night before. Even though they both want me to be happy and it's "my day" i feel whatever i do is wrong and whatever options i provide neither party is satisfied. I want to enjoy the day but i fear their behaviour will ruin it and make the experience miserable when it should be a cause for celebration.
There must be others out there who've had a similar experience | Parents Hate Each Other: How to avoid the most awkward graduation ceremony |
t3_2s5d42 | tifu | TIFU by telling my mother I didn't want children. | (Okay so not today...) 22F here. 10 months ago I was diagnosed with Lupus, prediagnosis I wasn't fond of children, and this just sealed the deal for me. A couple months ago I told my mom I didn't want children because of the illness, a good friend of hers had Lupus and passed away from complications with a pregnancy and the disease. I know research has come a long way since then, but it's not like I really wanted kids to begin with in the first place. I didn't think much of this since she's always telling me not to get pregnant when I tell her about a date or when I got together with my boyfriend. Since then, every time I've been on the phone with her, she finds a way to mention that my boyfriend and I would have "the most adorable babies." We've only been together a few months and he's not too keen on children either... | Told my mom I didn't want kids because of an illness, now she's full on the baby train. |
t3_3riqp2 | relationships | Me [22/M] in a long distance relationship with her [19/F] for [4 months] - afraid of being left ? | So in short: I met a girl via Facebook and we have been chatting for like five or six months. Like I mean we talk a lot. She is back home in my country, Italia, whereas I am in Canada.
Anyway. My question is: how can I avoid feeling this insecurity about being left suddenly ? What I fear is waking up one day and not having her there. Well, digitally. I know, it sounds weird, but her personality is what I love about her to be honest. She is beautiful and of course that is a pretty good thing, but being distant from her geographically, it was kind of irrelevant.
I guess the distance makes it easier to be left. She could just block me on WhatsApp and that would be it. If we lived close, in contrast, I could reasonably 'chase' after her in the sense that I would probably go up to her and ask why, try to deal with stuff, etc.
I mean, she has no reason to leave me. In the sense that this is not a fear that I have for any specific reason other than general paranoia. | Met a girl via Facebook who I love talking to: how can I let go of my insecurity and just a relationship ? Am I crazy for wanting more ? |
t3_hyqvo | AskReddit | I accidentally threw away an heirloom belong to my roommate's girlfriend and I am unsure how to respond. | Last week while cleaning the kitchen I came across a dirty kitchen knife that was rusted and charred beyond all practical use. It was in a drawer with a bunch of other knives and I asked my other roommate (not the one with the girlfriend) if he wanted to throw it away. He didn't care and apparently had been using it to smash wasps' nests, so I threw it out.
This morning I got a text from my roommate saying that his girlfriend was looking for that knife and she NEEDS (caps were his emphasis) it asap. He explained it was her last heirloom from her father. I immediately knew I had thrown it out and actually went to the trash can outside to fish out an old bag and dig through it. After dismantling the contents and not finding the knife, I called her and told her what happened in the most solemn and apologetic way possible. She sounded crushed, and I feel like I owe some kind of gesture to her, but I'm not sure what. A card sounds pretty cheesy and I think it would cheapen the heirloom to buy her something else. Does reddit have any advice?
_Edit (from my comment below): Our house has had pretty much a revolving door of roommates for the past 8 years. When I first moved in, I did a lot of cleaning but always asked before throwing anything away, no matter how crappy looking it was. The response was always complete apathy and sometimes gratitude for caring enough to clean up. After a while it felt too repetitive and almost nagging to ask about every little piece of "junk."_
__ | I accidentally threw away an heirloom that I thought was junk, and am unsure how to respond other than my apologetic phone call.__ |
t3_1b3fgi | jobs | I have a job interview tomorrow for Home Depot...But I know next to nothing about repair & it's a traveling team job. | I've wanted to work at home depot for a while. It may seem strange since I know little about repair- however I hope to some day be able to work with my hands. I'm currently out of school and unemployeed- desperate for a job. So I finally got my first call back in a while. I have an interview tomorrow...for the stock team. They travel to different Home Depot stores all over.
I do not have a reliable ride. I figured Home Depot would be perfect since it's right down the street from me. I feel like I should cancel the interview, but then I also would like to at least get my foot in the door. What happens if I'm hired and my first job is somewhere miles away?
Should I simply say thank you for the offer, but I am unable to take it? Or is there anything I can say in the interview that may get me another position without seeming ungrateful/like I don't want the job.
Thank you for any help,
-Heather | Interview tomorrow at home depot. Traveling stock team. I don't have a reliable car. I really need a job. |
t3_1agv3f | legaladvice | Washing Machine overflow, who is responsible, tenant or landlord? | I rent a 2nd story apartment that was furnished with a washing machine and dryer by my landlord. This morning, the washer got stuck filling up the tank during the rinse phase, and water spilled everywhere, into the kitchen and the dining room, and eventually causing water to drain to my downstairs neighbors. I have renters insurance, but I am afraid my landlord is going to try and stick me with the damages.
The only two sections of the lease I can find pertaining are this part in the actual lease and an addendum entitled "Special Covenants":
(From the actual Apartment Lease)
4(A) Lessor shall under this Lease provide the following fixtures and appliances: Range, refrigerator, washer & dryer included.
4(C) Lessor shall make all repairs to the premises required by normal wear and tear, fire, the elements or other casualty not caused by the negligence of the Lessee, his agents or invitees, and shall comply with the requirements of all applicable building and housing codes materially affecting health and safety.
(from Special Covenants)
10. Lessor is not responsible for maintaining the washer & dryer.
Until I read the special covenant, I thought I was fine. After reading it, it still does not imply that it is the Lessee's responsibility, does it? Also, he has serviced our dryer in the past.
The machine is a Kenmore made in 1998. I've read some online and I think the timer went bad. | landlord owned washing machine overflowed, who is responsible? |
t3_k9j4l | Cooking | My Indian housemate has asked me to teach him how to cook "pasta". No specific dish, just the "little tube pasta". What should I teach him? | I thought about doing a carbonara because it's easy and good, but it doesn't seem like that would go with anything tube-shaped. I can make a mean bechamel but that's kind of advanced for someone that's never actually cooked pasta.
He said he's had the "little tube shaped pasta" in Italian restaurants a couple times, wants to make that and has no idea what sort of accompaniment or sauce to put with it. When he first mentioned it, I thought he meant stuffed cannelloni, which is the most obvious tube pasta dish I could think, but he said he's thinking of very small tubes and not a red sauce.
So, what should I have him cook? He thinks I'm good at it because I actually cook and he just heats up frozen fish sticks and the like (he does not know how to cook Indian food either). But I never do anything more advanced than roast or saute some vegetables, add seafood or meat and cook until done. And since I'm trying to reduce my carbs, I don't really eat pasta anymore (I don't mind making an exception to teach him though). | Indian roommate wants me to teach him to cook pasta because he's had little tube-shaped pasta in restaurants. No other info available. Any suggestions? |
t3_3nwx45 | tifu | TIFU by reinforcing a father's idea that his daughter should go apply at Twin Peaks.. | So I am in Pensacola, FL on Monday for business and head to the local mall to find some work boots. Academy didn't have the pair I was looking for so I go and try the Sears next door. What happens next was awkward, and I get super nervous in awkward situations..
Fuckin trash with his wife and daughter, wearing a sleeveless nascar tee that he cut himself, approached me..
"Sir, excuse me sir.."
"Yes??" I said confused.
"You ever been to twin peaks"
"A few times," I replied.
"You see my daughter sittin' right der, would you tip her if she worked der?"
His daughter is so embarrassed she gets up and walks away. I had no clue what to say.
He kept on and was like, "be honest, she needs a job and we are trying to convince her to go over to twin peaks and put in an application.."
I replied, "I'm married." Or some shit like that I was so nervous! Then I said, "well ya, you gotta tip everyone" and walked away knowing I just reinforced this fucked up fathers idea of wanting his daughter to work at twin peaks.. He ran after his daughter yelling, "See I told you, I told you baby, you'd bring in the big bucks!" | Trashy nascar dude thinks his daughter should apply at Twin Peaks. I helped strengthen his arguement. |
t3_15hq2v | pettyrevenge | Nothing new, I'm sure, but now that I'm driving, I can identify | Mum was driving back from her grandparent's vacation home on the lake. She got stuck behind a long caravan of Cadillacs on the highway, all going a few miles under the speed limit. She pulled into the passing lane to get beyond them, going a few miles over but not extraneous speeds.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, this little geometro races up behind her, bobbing back and forth in the same lane, laying on the horn, waving his arms, and acting more agitated than a man at the end of the loo line after a pilsner chugging contest. Evidently, she was passing too slow for his taste.
Now, Mum's nice - if you're polite, she'll do everything she can to help you out and get you to where you need to go. Piss her off, and...
She said, "All right, then," and took her foot off the gas. With agonizing deliberation, her car ever so slowly surrendered to the forces of friction, the Cadillacs to the right continuing their slow move forward but none of them making room for the now freaking out geometro. All of the drivers gave mum a thumbs up as they meander past her and the stuck geo, vindication, sympathy, and appreciation on their faces.
At long last, Mum was, ahem, "able" to make a lane change to the right. Which she did. Slowly. With care. The geo's horn let out one last irritated squawk, its driver raising both hands from the wheel to tell her his IQ score, and the next moment it was a speck on the horizon.
From the line of cadillacs in front, windows rolled down, hands reached out and waved her onward, their drivers again cheering her as she passed them and went on her way, their amusement unabashed and admiration well rendered. | Typical rude driver gets caught in a pack who doesn't let him go anywhere until he's well and truly pissed. Mum, you rock. |
t3_3vtc2j | weddingplanning | Online wedding planning forums/chatrooms that are more anonymous and not google searchable? | So, I've kind of got this extreme phobia of being doxxed (I create a throwaway for every comment on reddit, no matter how innocuous). Now I'm planning my wedding, I've been lurking here for a while and have used the search bar to death. I'd love to be able to ask my own specific questions online without being afraid of people IRL recognizing me.
I tried to sign up for the Offbeat Bride forum since you need to be an approved member to post/read, but it looks like they closed it down last month. I've used (abused?) 7cupsoftea and BlahTherapy to help with very minor issues with my in-laws. I think the turning point for making this post is when I literally tried to use Omegle just now to help me phrase a thank you letter.
You might ask why I don't get advice from friends/family/fiance instead, and I do, there's just something about a non-judgmental hive mind that I really prefer sometimes. Plus, I'm looking to do something a little nontraditional, so there isn't anyone IRL that has been through the same process. I'm also starting out a 1.5 year engagement, and I don't want to bore my friends with musings about wedding colors this early on. I also like helping out strangers, so that's another plus!
I understand that this phobia is self-aggrandizing (who would bother looking into my post history anyway) and irrational (what are the chances, etc)...just wanted to ask for my own peace of mind. | Does anyone know of personalized wedding advice resources that are anonymous and not search engine indexed? |
t3_3a3918 | relationships | [Relationship Problems] My (20/M) girlfriend's (19/F) ex (19/M) has cancer. It's all she talks about and worries about and I couldn't care less | My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year now. We met shortly after she left her ex and started dating. Now my understanding is that he was very manipulative and could be abusive and that's why she left him. After some rough patches, I can go into detail if need be, we have been great.
She would still talk to every so often, which I was fine with because I trust her, but more recently I noticed whenever he got in contact with her, she started being easily agitated and stressed. So after noticing this trend, I told her about it and told her I thought she should stop talking to him if he makes her like this. So she agreed and stopped talking to him.
A couple days ago he texted her and said he has a tumor and yesterday said it was cancerous. Now it's all she talks about and is constantly worried saying things like "he doesn't deserve this". The problem is a couldn't care less about this guy. To me, all I see is an abuser who is getting his karma back to him.
Am I a bad guy for not wanting to hear about him? Should I be worried about how concerned my girlfriend is about her ex? I really could use some help working through this | My girlfriend is constantly worried about her abusive ex who has cancer. And I don't care. |
t3_53amw7 | relationships | How do I (32M) best help my friend (27F) deal with grief? | Hey all. So, I have a good friend I've known a while that's helped me a lot in the past (death of an aunt, an unlimited amount of support dealing with all the craziness my girlfriend has put me through) whose father just died, and whose boyfriend dumped a few weeks ago for being so devastated that her father was dying.
She has a masters, busts her ass off, and looks almost exactly like Charlize Theron, he is a lazy pothead that avoids all responsibility and bitches about shit no adult male should care about. This is all relevant because she wants help in getting him back, but I really don't want to, because he's a drain on her in many ways. What should I do on that front?
Anyway, she's pretty much shut herself off but me and her mom, and told me to come by next week, cause I'd told her it wasn't good to isolate herself and plus I wanted to see her.
I will be having my kids 3 days a week (my girlfriend and I are on a long pause), I go to school 4 days, which leaves me with 2 days (I both have the kids and go to school on one day) a week I could spend time with her, and I honestly don't have a clue what to do besides just being there. I've lost people close to me, but never had that happen to me.
Also, there is nothing going on in interest from my direction (even though we're on a break, I couldn't sleep with another woman, nor have emotional interest in, PLUS, that would be a scumbag way to treat a friend), so please no talk in that direction | want to console friend, don't know what to do exactly |
t3_2vafjo | askwomenadvice | next week i[20m] am going on my first date ever with this girl[18f] i've been texting to for 2 months | In around 3 weeks i'm going to go on my first date of my life,it's stressing me so much,i've always had low confidence with my body and such,but in the last weeks i've been so stressed about everything,i've been thinking what to do,say,how to behave and everything..i'm scared she'll be dissapointed with my body too..she told me that she expects ''Cuddling,hugs and kisses''
which stress me to no end,i've never done that before,i don't know how to hold someone in my arms or cuddle with them or let alone kiss someone..so i need help
i don't even know how i'll greet her,some people told me to hug her some told me to not some even told me to straight up go for the kiss/french kiss | going on first date with crush,she wants hugs,cuddling and kisses,never done that before so i'm pretty scared about everything |
t3_hgoxo | AskReddit | Could anyone help suggest a thoughtful gift for the guy that spared me $AU20,000 | Heres the story:
About three years ago, I was involved in a lawsuit against my University in an attempt to appeal an exclusion from the Uni with a 2 year period. I had a lawyer over a full year which cost me about $20,000, and finally a barrister who represented me in court, pro bono.
This barrister ultimately won my case, saving me up to $20,000 in legal fees and court fees (as this was held in the supreme court).
Three years down, I've never properly thanked this man. Now however, I've graduated from the degree which he helped me get back in, and am currently working in that profession.
I feel its now time to show him my thanks in doing something that will BLOW HIS MIND | Barrister represented me pro bono. Saved me $20,000 in legal fees. I want to find a way to show my thanks and possibly blow his mind. |
t3_206rc8 | relationships | Why is it that everyone says a women needs love and care | A woman deserves a man who is loyal to her, loves her more than anyone etc etc. Don't men need it too? Every people needs love. I've [20M] love my gf[19] of two years so much, never ever did anyone else cross my mind but her. I don't have any other friends except her.
And here she is, flirting with all the guys, never tells anyone that she is in a relationship, never lets her friends know that how much she loves me. It's like I don't even exist outside our personal life.
Yea I feel like shit, but I'm just too weak in front of her. Her simple I love you just takes all my pain away.
Sorry about ranting over here, I guess it's not the right subreddit just wanted to express how I'm feeling | gf makes me feel like shit |
t3_3hxqxm | relationships | Me [17 M] with my mother's boyfriend[42? M] of 8 years needs to leave. | My mom's boyfriend of 8 years has gotten progressively worse in the past few years. First he was a drunk, then he hit my mom(she dropped charges and "moved out" for a month and my mom invited him back in, with promises there would be no more drinking, that lasted a week), then tonight he came after me and scared my younger siblings.
I'm done. There has to be something I could do to get him out of my family's life. My mom sees nothing wrong with what happened and is mad at me for getting involved before he hurt someone. I will not hit him, I don't want charges against me.
My mother rents our house in PA. We cannot get him evicted and he is not a lodger due to not paying for anything. I tried looking things up myself but couldnt find much. If anyone on here knows what to do I would send you as many internet hugs as I can. Thank you. | My moms boyfriend is nuts and needs to leave(we rent in PA). What can I do? |
t3_d1b6f | relationships | Women of Reddit - Is race really that big a deal? | So I have been trying to get into a "relationship" for a bit, and frankly I am not really making much headway. I have tried dating websites etc, but frankly I have a worse record on those, than in person. Now the thing that usually nags me is that, what exactly are people looking for.
The way I look at it , I am educated, have a stable job, am not morbidly obese or at least not "fugly", I can hold a conversation, and have not murdered anyone yet. Which I would assume would be a decent starting point for someone who actually wants to date or wants to be in a relationship.
Yet, I always seem to get no progress whatsoever. The thing that nags me is that I am not white (I am Indian), so I ask you Reddit, is race really THAT important when it comes to dating, or is there something I am completely missing? | Brown man complaining on luck on dating websites, should blame race or others? |
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