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t3_3uhg1d | relationship_advice | [26 M] I might be in a toxic relationship with my best friend [28 M] [x-post from r/offmychest] | i have a friend (with benefits?) and we're both intense people. it gets into our friendship and there will be periods of time where everything is "normal" before we start getting under each others skin. this usually ends up in some sort of nasty fight or us fucking, usually both. i think it's caused me to develop some sort of weird crush on him.
i told someone close to me recently about the situation and she says that she doesn't think it's very healthy. he's the only guy i've ever experimented with and i think we've grown too close too fast. we've seen each other at our worsts (example: i was recently diagnosed with major depression after having an impressive breakdown. he talked to me over the phone until i fell asleep on my couch). i can't go a day without talking to him or else i get depressed and anxious, but when i'm with him i'm in this weird (almost manic?) angry-happy state. is this chemistry or toxicity or something inbetween? if i have to leave, how do i do it without destroying myself?
sorry if this isn't clear enough. | i might be in a toxic relationship with my best friend. someone told me to cut him off. i tried but i can't. |
t3_2iqqub | relationships | I [17M] am not too sure on how to feel about my girlfriend [17F] | Well this may seem like a bit of a rant, but I'll try to not make it such. I have been dating this girl for probably close to 18 months now. She broke up with me a while ago and we were apart for about 6 months but she then wanted to get back together. We've now been back together for 7 months.
I'm thinking that she is more of an introvert than an extrovert. At school, she will never really approach me; it'll be me approaching her. She never seems to keep the conversation flowing either, it's usually me doing most of the talking. Even when she's at my house she might not converse or just show any signs of interest. Sometimes she may be as chirpy as a bird, but more often than not. Also most of the text messages she send me seem blunt, but again, not always.
Another thing is that we both have this mutual friend, but I am somewhat annoyed at him at the moment. When I told her she seems to take a large interest on that topic, and keep asking questions like why and stuff like that. She also seems to be able to speak to him more freely then me. I'm just not quite sure how to interpret all of it. | Girlfriend seems to not be interested at times and seems to be able to communicate with other people better. Not sure on what to do. |
t3_4st459 | relationships | My (20/M) crush (20/F) pretty much rejected me and now has a boyfriend. Why does she keep complimenting me on my musical talent? | So I have the biggest crush on this girl I know from Uni. I thought we clicked very well, because we had so much in common.
In the time that she was single I asked her out multiple times, and she always seemed optimistic about it but then made up a reason that she couldn't go. A few weeks later I find out she has a boyfriend and stopped talking to her.
I sometimes upload clips of me playing instruments to YouTube, and it's happened like 5 times now, that whenever I upload something new, she sends me a text message about how impressed she is by my playing. It sucks, because it gets my hopes up again, when I know she has a boyfriend. I don't wanna do anything shady to negatively impact her relationship but I just can't help my feelings for her lol. | I've asked my crush out multiple times, but then found out she has a boyfriend already. Tried to stop talking to her, but whenever she texts first she makes me a compliment, which gets my hopes up, even though she's taken. Should I still somehow pursue this, or completely forget about her? |
t3_10hvmm | AskReddit | Hey Reddit whats the most Jackass moment of your life?? | One night after ensuring that my parents were asleep I went on to watch porn. I had my headphones on and began streaming some kinky ass porn where she was making hell lotta noise. I couldn't hear properly so I increased the volume slightly. It got just better but still not satisfied with the volume level I turned it up to full volume. It was quite audible now and I watched the video for full 5 mins. As I was about do my deeds I noticed something which gave me the shock of my life. My headphones jack was not plugged in to the socket. I was watching porn in full volume all this while. Dammit... I almost had a heart attack. I immediately turned off my system went to sleep. I am sure my parents would have heard it but dint have the balls to face them. | Watched porn in full volume while everyone were asleep at home. |
t3_vaqr3 | relationship_advice | Boyfriend has serious EX-GF Emotional baggage, advice on how to deal with this? | 21f/23m Met online, hit it off really well (much better than I ever expected) He said he was looking for a relationship, recently admitted that he was only looking for sex at first but then he cares about me now, and we've been together for four months.
As time as gone on I've realised how badly he was hurt by his Ex (they had 2 year seriously deep relationship) She broke it off with him, but they still chit chat, and occasionally see each other, it's a bit too much for my liking, but I'll put up with it because I trust him.
This guy is amazing. The only thing reason I think I would ever break up with him would be over his inability to move on completely from his ex (if it ends up that he isn't capable of it)
* I don't want to force him to do anything he doesn't want to as far as cutting contact with her - that's not fair because he needs to work through it and there's not reason they couldn't be friends.
* He recently told her he was seeing someone, and now I'm worried she going to turn on the heat because it's one of those, now that she can't have him, she wants him, sort of situations?
* How do I deal with this as "the new girl" in his life? I'm sometimes on the receiving end of some emotional stuff that ended up really hurting me, and I don't think he realises it, but I'm willing to give this a fighting chance - He's that quality of a guy. ( Some stuff I don't like - A Bday card she sent him on the mantle, a book she gave him on the end piece, her picture under his old uni work at his desk)
We've agreed to take our relationship slow, and I honestly believe in his honesty but it just scares me. I need some mature wisdom on how to deal with this? | BF has a lingering EX in the picture, I didn't know about at first, hurting me a bit, buy BF is worth fighting for, how do I deal? |
t3_16oj14 | relationships | Ex-fiance [m/42] wants to break up with me [f/30], but the only thing he is really upset about is that I won't let him keep MY cat. | He called me a heartless cruel cunt because I won't let him keep MY cat, who's been living with us for a year now, and because of his wild mood swings I am trying to find another home for my cat because it won't be able to move with me when I go live in the one bedroom shared house I found. He has been really abusive to me, but absolutely loves my cat, but I was hoping to find it a home where if I can get stable enough to have a cat again I would be able to negotiate with the new owner and pick up my cat in a year's time or whatever. I don't trust him enough to leave it with him: not because of how he treats it but because of how he treats me.
He says I'm being spiteful, but I think if he acted with any little bit of respect towards me I would have been fine leaving it with him. But I really REALLY don't want to deal with him later on in life.
I'm also kind of depressed that he hasn't shown any emotion in regards to the breakup, but now all of a sudden he's so upset that about my cat leaving instead. WTF?! Shilo is an awesome cat, but you'd think he'd show SOME kind of feeling about OUR relationship ending. | Am I being a horrible, classless cruel cunt like he says just because I won't let him keep my cat? |
t3_3hrdey | relationships | I [22 M] have had thoughts of breaking up with my gf [23 F] of two years but I feel that love traps me in the relationship | I've been together with my girlfriend for two years now and, although the relationship went well the first few months, it's been in decline ever since. Our nights consist of sitting in front of the television and we're only intimate about once a month. A year in we moved in with her father and brother to save money and I've never gotten along well with them. Other than that I've been the errand boy for the house as I get sent out to get groceries and fast food at least once a day.
The whole situation has just drained me entirely but I've been staying in the relationship because I just can't shake off my love for my girlfriend. No matter how bad it gets some part of me believes that it could get better and maybe magically all our issues will go away. I've even tried breaking up with her once but I had a break down and couldn't go through with it. This has been my first 'successful' long-term relationship but I feel like our ideals and life goals don't match up at all.
I'm not sure if I'm asking for help or if I'm just venting but either way I appreciate any advice and if I need to fill in more details I can. | I know I should probably break up with my girlfriend but I can't bring myself to. |
t3_2ad2xf | relationships | Me [20/F] with my ex [19 M] recently broke up (3 years). Don't know what to do. | I met my boyfriend in High school. I was in 12th grade and he was in 11th. We got together around october of that year (2011) and things were great.
We had been together for 3 years but he broke it off a few days ago. I'm still kind of shocked. I dont know how to react all i've been doing is crying. He left for many reasons and it all just sounds like a lie. He would say "i can't be with you because you're too much" or "i'm tired of this" and even "This are not the same". What I do not understand is why he would say I still feel for me but that we could not be together because of how I am.
See i Suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and like it or not it would affect me and my relationship and thats why he left. I feel guilty, responsible, sad, angry and so much more. I hate this.
I feel like an idiot when i cry. How can i still love him. | Boyfriend of 3 years left me because I am too much. Feel responsible. What should i do to get over this break up? |
t3_39lkac | Advice | I'm 21 and I think I'm a workaholic | Hello everyone. I am 21 years old and I'm a student of Computer Science.
It's got to the point where whenever I am not working or planning out my work, i am agitated.
I struggle to fall asleep at night because my head is racing with thoughts of work that still needs to get done, almost where I am unable to justify sleeping to myself.
I want to nip this in the bud before it starts affecting my relationships with my girlfriend, family and friends, even though many of my friends are hard workers like me.
I feel this began when I started university. It was made abundantly clear that the tech industry is notoriously competitive and while having a degree (or studying for one) in a tech related field gives you an advantage over others to a certain point, they mostly look at extra things you've done (portfolio for example).
So I made sure I stayed ahead at university so I could work on other things too and build my portfolio. Now that the academic year has finished and I can "relax" a bit, I can't get my mind off of work.
As soon as I wake up, I'm learning something or working on something and I find it hard to stop, even for 10 minutes to eat something.
My girlfriend is taking her exams at the moment, so she is just as busy as me and doesn't notice but they will be over soon and she will want to spend time with me doing fun things and I know that while I may enjoy these activities, deep down it will be a distraction from my work and I will be agitated.
I need some guidance on where to go from here.
I made a start myself and have started giving myself "work hours" where I don't work before 'X' am and stop working strictly at 'Y' pm. Furthermore, I make a weekly plan and then assign tasks from the weekly plan to my daily plan and work through them. However, I find that even though I've finished the daily tasks, I will carry on with other work and I can't stop until the early hours of the morning when i'm basically falling asleep at my computer.
Apologies for the length so | Always thinking about work, need advice for how to slow down a bit. |
t3_3oup6p | relationships | Update: I [22m] lied to my sister [25f] about her ex-boyfriend [27m] cheating on her and now I feel terrible. | Here's the update to this old post from two days ago:
I'd been feeling terrible about the lying thing and I was prepping myself up to tell her the truth, for a myriad of reasons. I was feeling pretty unwell and nauseous, vomiting in the bathroom. My sister tried to insist I go to the hospital, but I knew what was up. I told her I had lied to her the day before and I had to tell her the truth, it had been making me feel terrible. She laughed at me and told me she knew I was lying, she said "after all these years you still think I can't tell instantly when you're lying to me". So it turns out she knew, she knew I had lied about her boyfriend cheating. She said she didn't know before, but as soon as I told her that he wasn't she could tell that I was lying, and knew that I had found out he had in fact cheated. She read me like a book. I told her everything I had gathered from my sleuthing and the thing her ex-boyfriend's friend had said to me about the affair. She said she didn't really care any more now, she was feeling over him already and wanted to stop feeling so depressed and move on. She said she had had a feeling something like that was going on but she had put herself in denial about it for whatever reason, but now she was ready to move on. I said that's good and all, but how could she be not angry at me for lying to her? Apparently because she knew I did it out of consideration and not to try to hurt her or anything.
So yep, that's it. Turned out my whole lie was pointless and she knew I was lying the whole time. I guess thanks to those of you who left helpful comments and advice last time, even though it turns out I didn't need the advice; and not so much thanks to the assholes who felt the need to shit on me. You know who you are. | Sister knew I was lying about the boyfriend not having cheated. |
t3_1guutk | relationships | I[23F] have 'worries' about my boyfriend[25M] of two years. | Firstly, 'worries' is the wrong word because the stuff on my mind isn't *bad* per say. I love this guy, we have a great relationship (including a good sex life, which is relevant I guess) but recently I've started to notice little things that are making me question stuff.
A bit of background then. Ever since I met him he's had this incredibly in-depth knowledge of celebrity transvestites. I always just put it down to in-jokes with his group of friends, but I guess it did always kind of puzzle me. He has admitted that he used to get off to transgender porn (male-to-female, having sex with a female) and jokes that he's 'the world's biggest lesbian.' Again, I always shrugged it off as fun because that's just the kind of person he is. However...
Recently he's started talking a lot about how I dress/do my make-up. He wants to see me tarted up to the max, red lipstick, dark eye liner, huge heels - the whole shebang. He's expressed interest in smearing my make-up during sex, and has found a new desire to try anal (something he's always been generally uninterested in). I can't help but think... well, it's a really over the top conclusion, but I have this nagging worry that he's starting to wish HE could dress this way, you know? I definitely don't see it as a bad thing - what bothers me is, if he IS feeling this way, why can't he talk to me about it? We've always been very open and honest.
Relevant details - he has always been a bit of a 'guy's guy' and our sex life is incredible. He is immensely turned on by me. I just need advice or to be to told to calm down and get on with it!
Sidenote: I have already spoken to him about this. He said only "I'd rather have a cock than a fanny, hahaha!" | Boyfriend seems to be overly interested in feminine dressing, am I just crazy or..? |
t3_1xdapl | relationships | [18 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of three weeks, tried to have sex but I sort of failed. | We've been dating for 3 weeks and are both virgins. I really like her.
Everything was going great until I put the condom on and all of the sudden it was so much harder for me to get hard. I know i'm "ready", it's not that, it's just that I was nervous and my mind started to race because i've been waiting for this for a loooong time.
It's happened once to me with another girl but that was just a random hookup, this time I actually have feelings for the girl so I thought it'd be different.
I was sort of hard but just not enough for penetration.
I don't want this to happen again, and we're trying again probably tomorrow night. I feel terrible right now. Reddit what should I do :( | puts condom on, goes soft, is sad. |
t3_137f3x | AskReddit | What is the lowest thing you've seen someone say or do? | I went paintballing with a few of my friends over the summer and went to this family owned place not too far from my area. We suited up and on the way in, came across a 18 or 19 year old kid wearing sweats and a fitted hat. His lips were dry and chapped, skin pale as ever, and deep bags under his eyes. He wasn't easy to understand when he spoke, but from we could tell, he was offering us 50% off coupons for $5 a piece. This would've saved us $25 off the price of the gear, but being as shady as he was, we declined. Throughout his sales pitch, he mentioned that his parents were the ones running the place and he continued to say how they were "fucking idiots" and "didn't know shit". It became apparent that he was screwing his own parents' family business so he could afford what looked like roxy's or adderrall. Not the craziest story but he sure was a scumbag. | Kid was screwing his parents' business over so he could buy drugs. |
t3_4mqlnu | relationships | My [23/F] ex didn't like that I was "basic" [25/M]. Would this bother other people? | Ages/details slightly fudged in case the person in question runs across this.
I had to talk to my ex recently and, in the course of the conversation, he brought up that he didn't like the fact that I came across as a "basic (insert expletive)". His words, not mine. The main evidence upon which he based his assessment seemed to be my Pinterest account, which features boards dedicated to clothing, interior design ideas, and travel information. I explained that Pinterest is used by many people as a sort of "wishlist"/collection of things I like or find interesting and that I don't take it terribly seriously.
In Ex's mind this indicates that I am a "basic, privileged white girl" and "materialistic". He finds it particularly offensive that I have traveled to France and "idealize Paris". As an academic who has studied the French language for 8+ years, I don't find it particularly odd that I've spent time in that country and have lots on my social media relating to travel and French culture/current affairs.
Also, yes, I occasionally save pictures of clothes I like or haircuts I might want to get in the future. Sometimes people just need a mindless diversion, and looking at clothes on the Internet or reading a fashion magazine does the trick for me. I don't think I'm unusually hung up on those things or place too much importance on them. I've always been incredibly driven academically and career-wise, so it doesn't necessarily seem reasonable to consider me shallow or unwilling to tackle serious/adult matters.
Would you make any particular assumptions about a girl who had traveled to France and has a Pinterest board with pictures of outfits and hairstyles? I suppose for me it is the "whole package" of a person that matters. I wouldn't be completely turned off because someone had a couple of interests that seemed stereotypical or boring to me, but I'm curious what others think. I guess I'd like to know/be prepared if this is something that is going to bother future partners. Any thoughts appreciated! | Ex admitted he was put off because I had traveled to France and had a Pinterest board dedicated to clothes, things which seemed "basic" to him. I'm curious if others would find these things similarly offensive or if it is more likely a quirk specific to him. If this is going to be a recurring issue with other people, it would be nice to know. |
t3_16ishr | self | A question of completion | My partner is everything I've ever wanted in a human being. She's intelligent, creative, and a genuinely good person to be around. She went back to her home country, Australia, with the idea that I head out there for four months in June this year. We'd spent 5 incredible months together. I always knew she was heading back, I guess I just didn't want to acknowledge the fact that it had to happen (her visa was set to expire)
I'm a mature student (26) here in the UK and this wait is absolutely killing me. I can't concentrate on my work, I can hardly sleep. We talk and skype every day. But its not enough, I broached the topic about me coming earlier if the opportunity arose and she said she would be utterly in favor of it. And I don't doubt anything to do with her. Like I said, she's incredible. I've been in love before, but this feels different. I can't really explain it without regurgitating a thousand cliched metaphors, so I'll save you that at least.
When June hits I'll be headed off to Australia and getting straight into some part time work and living with her. I am scared, excited and curious to see what this stage of my life will turn out to be. Part of me thinks that I just won't come back. Part of me would be happy with that. But another part of me wants to stay and finish my degree. Its my first time at University and it took a lot to get here and I don't want to give it all up.
I've got some self confidence issues that I'm working on, so I'm wondering if the doubt is starting to get to me.. I'm wondering if this is a manifestation of a lack of self esteem.
I don't even know what I'm writing anymore. I just know I need to try. | Ditch degree to go on an adventure in Australia with someone I love - yay or nay? |
t3_qrx5r | AskReddit | Honest question comparing PC with Mac | Please leave your fanboy opinion at the door
So I recently destroyed my macbook pro. I don't have the money to replace it so I need an economical solution. Here is my problem, I used to be all about PC but got sick off viruses and the machine just slowing down in everyday operations. Then 3 years ago I won a macbook pro. It wasn't good for gaming but it ran great for everything else and I never once worried about viruses. Has the PC gotten any better about not being bogged down? I seriously can't handle that shit ever again. Oh and I don't necessarily need a laptop | Macbook destroyed but hate how PC tends to slow down really fast |
t3_356quv | relationships | Me [30F] with my sibling [28M], obvious disparity between abilities causing friction between otherwise happily-married parents | My brother is a great guy, but he's always struggled intellectually, athletically and professionally. For a long time, I think our parents or, at least, our mother, attributed this to having been born with complications but his issues have yet to resolve as an adult.
In contrast, I am a quick learner who finished college quickly and am successful in my career and athletic pursuits. I don't say this to gloat, but to make a point.
The disparity between my brother and me is glaringly obvious. Everyone jokes that I take after my father who is incredibly successful is *his* career and athletic endeavors as well. My father's family members are all in this same vein - smart, successful, indomitable.
My mother's gene pool is not quite so hearty as she comes from a long line of "simple" people who are just like my brother: kind-hearted, well-liked but otherwise not so bright. As such, she blames herself for my brother's lack of ability.
This causes friction between my parents which I only just learned about, though I'd suspected it for a while. Mom blames herself which Dad doesn't want, because - really - it's neither of their faults (even if my mother has coddled my brother as a means of protecting him from the world for which he is so ill-equipped to navigate on his own).
Mom gets upset when Dad gets frustrated with my brother. Brother and I aren't close because we don't share common interests (and possibly because I've always been something a reminder of what he's not). None of us asked for any of this and I don't know if there's anything I can do to remedy the situation.
I'm sure we can't be the only family like this. I feel like you see it regularly in movies/tv: "accomplished daughter, slacker son, frustrated parents". DAE have any ideas as to what I could do to diffuse this? Or do you think it's just going to simmer along until we accept our family fate? | Me - successful, female, 30 - with slow-to-mature, possibly undiagnosed learning disabled brother (age 28). Parents frustrated with son. Mother blames self. Is there anything I can do? |
t3_3c9qdz | tifu | TIFU by making a joke about my boss's dead father without thinking | I work at a local, family-owned Italian restaurant. A small place where I work with the owner (I'll call the owner) and his wife (who I'll call the boss). Around 2 weeks ago, the boss's father passed away and they have had issues with the estate ever since. They left again today for the father's house to try to sort things out(it is about a 3-4 hour drive depending on who's driving), and the owner managed to forget his phone at the restaurant.
His phone is the number they gave to the estate attorney when they need to be contacted, as well as the one they use for things like catering, reservations, and private business. Being the most trusted employee, I was placed in charge of watching the phone and updating them on any messages.
A few hours ago, the owner's phone received a call. I forgot to turn the phone volume up as I'm used to androids which don't have a specific button to set it to silent, so it didn't ring and I missed the call. The name on the call was "Father", so I thought it would be someone the owner would want to call back; I pulled out my phone and dialed the boss' s number.
The boss picks up, and I say "hey boss, I just missed a call from the owner's phone, it was labeled "Father" so I assumed it was the owner's dad and he would want to call him back."
She says thanks, asks if everything was going ok with the restaurant, and just as she hangs up I realize what I just said: I joked that she will never get a call from her father again. | accidentally told my boss she wasn't going to get any calls from her Father ever again, just a couple weeks after her Father's death and in the middle of dealing with his estate. |
t3_15uwmx | relationships | I (F17) have ruined the relationship with the person I really care about (M19), and I feel as though I'm about to ruin another relationship with someone (M18). Any advice? | A year ago I met this guy and we became good friends. Shortly after breaking up with my boyfriend of the time, he confessed that he had feelings for me. After a couple of weeks, we decided to try out a relationship. Everything was going great: we hardly ever argued, we never ran out of things to talk about, he could always make me laugh, and we had the same group of friends. However, when we did argue he would say really messed up things. I didn't want us to get to a point where we wouldn't speak anymore, so I told him we should be friends. We slowly stopped talking, but I figured it would take a while for things to go back to normal. Even when it ended I still cared about him. I met another guy and we started talking, but it wasn't anything serious. My ex on the other hand, thought it was and didn't want to involve himself with me. I'm still talking to the other guy, but I don't have deep feelings for him. I feel as though he is going to ask me out soon, and I have no idea what to tell him without hurting him. | A close friend and I got into a relationship, but I ended it to preserve our friendship. I started talking to another guy a while after the breakup, and my ex thought I did it in spite of him and won't speak to me. I still care about him, and the other guy wants to date me. |
t3_x7a6n | AskReddit | Extremely Difficult Co-Worker - What to do? (She is pregnant) | Hello,
I recently started in a new managerial position in a new organization. I am in the Human Resources department. The department consists of 3 managers in 3 separate offices - Myself, my coworker/equal, and our direct supervisor.
I get along with the supervisor very well. However, said supervisor is in on vacation, and as it is my 3rd week here, I am still learning everything that the position entails - and naturally slipping up a bit here and there as learning goes. I have yet to have any major or even mild mess-ups, it's usually along the lines of misspelling a name or forgetting fax numbers I just learned.
My co-workers, however, is very short with me. She treats me as If i were an idiot. It should be noted that she is pregnant, and this probably makes her far moodier.
The other day I had my thermostat down, and she likes it warmer, so she snapped at me for that. My inquiries into processes and procedures are met with head-shakes, and sighs.
She never initiates conversation or attempts to build rapport,whenever I try, I get short stiff responses. "How are you?" "fine." "how was your doctor's appointment yesterday?" "fine".
She makes me uncomfortable asking for help, and just makes me feel very unwanted.
This is all very strange to me, I am a very open and friendly person, and I just want to learn the ins and outs of this position and manage my effective portion of the department - how do I deal with this? | Pregnant coworker makes me feel both unwanted, incompetent and creates a terrible work environment. What to do? |
t3_2bqem7 | relationships | Me [22M] with this girl I like [22F]. Not sure how to handle this. | I met this girl online. We met two times, and both went great. Had a third date planned, but she flaked. She said she needed to sort some things out. That she really wants to see me but at the same time she doesn't.
She told me to 'take it slow'.
Basically, she told me "LEAVE ME ALONE I DON'T LIKE YOU WE HAVE NOTHING", in woman-language. Or so I thought. Turns out I was wrong.
This girl is the most amazing person in the universe, but she was severely abused by her ex. Finally she cracked and told me everything, and why she doesn't want to see me. And I understand. She HAS to take it slow, I have to earn her trust and don't try to force anything.
I really like her, but I'm not good at 'taking it slow'. How do I do that? | How do I take it slow? |
t3_4co09v | relationship_advice | I'm [20/m] and my girlfriend [20/f] broke up with me over text. Advice? | So about 3 weeks ago my girlfriend of over 1 year broke up with me through text. It was very sudden since 1 day prior everything was going well (at least the way it seemed to me). I have plans of entering a future career in the military and her main reason for ending the relationship was that she couldn't handle being alone for x amount of time while deployed, stress, anxiety, etc. My gf was always of the anxious type and I was able to see pass that and always try to work with her on certain life issues. We talked about the future before and she only said that me being away would suck but it never seemed like it would be the end of our relationship. In addition, she said I was too sexual around her which I agree with and I have tried to change my ways. The last few weeks were not our strongest: she forgot to get me a birthday gift, she barely acknowledged our 1 year anniversary, and never really cared about what I had to say and always talked about her problems. I don't think I did anything of that nature besides what was mentioned previously. We haven't spoken since she ended it (pretty much out of no where) and I am wondering where to go from here. My heart is bleeding to get back together with her or to at least contact her, but my brain is telling me no due to the above reasons as well as her not even having the decency to end the relationship in person. Any advice? I'm torn about whether I should contact her or continue to wait. | My gf broke up with me via text due to my future job. My heart says yes but my brain says no since she hasn't been treating me the best and couldn't even end it in person. Any advice? |
t3_1eqqaw | relationship_advice | Last night I(22M) let slip to a friend(20F) that I have feelings for her.. How can I repair this? | So basically last night I(22M) was talking to my friend(20F) and we got on to the topic of who I'm interested in..
Well after a couple of hours of me trying to change the topic and her insisting I tell her, I accidently slipped up and said something which led to me admitting I had feelings for her.. It didn't quite go the way I had hoped :/
So it turns out she's seeing someone and she only sees me as a friend, which I'm actually ok with.. It takes boths sides to make something..
The part that's hitting me the hardest is that last time I told a girl I liked her she flat out stopped talking to me and that's the last thing I want to happen here since this girl is a great friend and a lot of fun to hang out with.
So what I'm trying to ask is, is there anything I can do or say to her to repair this because right now I'm freaking out that I'm about to lose another friend... :( | I'm an idiot and told a friend that I had feelings for her... Help? |
t3_ms13z | AskReddit | How do redditors feel about their own culture? | This is a repost, hoping to get a few more responses to incorporate.
I'm in a college freshman taking a human culture and behavior class that requires a final ethnography (a study of a culture) on a topic of my choice. My obvious choice was reddit. When I asked my T.A. if this was acceptable I found out she was a redditor and she said I should post some questions to askreddit.
Challenge Accepted
Here are some general questions I would appreciate if you guys could answer for me, and if you have any other comments to throw in it would help!
How long have you used Reddit?
How often do you use Reddit? (A few days a week, few hours a week, etc)
Do you find reddit to be incorporated into your everyday life? (Ranging from inside jokes, catch phrases, political views, to knowledge of the world)
Do you feel Reddit has any negative effects on your school performance, work performance, or social relationships?
How do you feel about karma and trying to get on the front page?
How do you feel about ability of redditors to intimately control the culture of the website? This ranges from new jokes, new subreddits, heated debates, and both upvoting and downvoting.
Do you believe that even though it is a non physical entity (only over the internet) that reddit truly has its own culture? Culture being defined as "the set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution, organization, or group"
Based on the posts of redditors seeking aid from other redditors or random acts of kindness. Do you feel reddit has any real world implications?
Anything else you want me to put into my college paper on reddit?? | Doing a culture study on reddit, answer some questions for me! |
t3_1tunmd | relationships | My (19/m) bf peed on my couch while napping, left it and didn't tell me (20/f). How to handle? | My boyfriend was napping on my couch until he had to leave for work, at which point he had me switch him spots so I was in the corner of the couch, and tucked a blanket under/around me and left.
A few minutes later I noticed the back of my pants leg felt wet, then noticed a small wet patch on the couch (about 4 inches diameter). I smelled it and its definitely urine. I don't have any pets.
I don't care about the accident but I sort of care that instead of telling me he had me lay over it to hide it. I texted him saying I think he spilled something on my couch, and asked why he didnt tell me. He said he didn't spill anything! He is a bad liar and I'm sure he would fess up if I asked him more directly, but I don't want to embarrass him. How do I confront him about this gracefully? Should I drop it all together? | Bf peed on my couch while napping, had me lay over wet spot. Wat do? |
t3_24iojg | relationships | Me [17 M] am having problems feeling useless and I don't want to let anyone down. | I have been feeling like I have been letting everyone down, mainly my parents. They have always wanted me to do the best I could in school and in life, which means trying to maintain A's or even B's.
When I started high school I was in all AP classes and I soon found I wasn't suited for them and I couldn't maintain what I needed to be in them, but to my parents this was me not trying and in their eyes failing, although this year (second year of high school now) I have been keeping a high mark in all of my classes besides Chemistry and Math, and even though the other 6 are really good they see me as failing, or at least that's what it feels like, and it makes me feel like I'm disappointing them.
One big thing I have done is made it into and exchange program for this coming summer to go to Japan for 10 months, and even despite that I feel like I'm not doing good enough. This program was a fairly hard one to get into and I feel like I have tried hard, but at the same time it feels like I haven't tried at all. I don't have a job and in that aspect I feel like I am failing them too. I find myself to be a fairly lazy person, and I don't really study, although I do try in school I find it really hard to study to the point of just falling asleep or getting distracted. So all in all I tend to disappoint myself and them and its really starting to weigh on me. | I feel like I am letting my parents down despite achieving some fairly hard things. |
t3_3nkqzw | relationships | Me [29 M] with my girlfriend [30 F] 1 year, I snooped and there was some sketchy stuff, but now she knows! | A while ago she was acting a bit distant and it triggered some mistrust on my part. (I was cheated on in the past, had a bad gut feeling but chalked it up to being oversensitive - not that this abdicates me from snooping, but just to give some background)
I got access to her whatsapp logs and did some snooping. There were some lies about guys who she used to hang out with who are actively pursuing her and they were denigrading me, but she's not done anything wrong besides hiding the fact and just stating these are her friends and that these friends have no romantic intentions There were also some strange messages between her and her boss, but no conclusive proof of anything.
The way she is, even if there was anything sneaky, I doubt she would write it out in a message. (she never says anything explicitly sexual in messages to me - and stops me if I say anything like that)
Anyway I was talking to one of her old friends who is also a friend of mine about how I feel insecure and she told me some things about her past that are irrelevant to trusting her today, but how she used to say friends are friends but she saw them kissing etc.
This was some time back but recently I let some thing slip in a comment, revealing that I knew something I wasnt supposed to. She confronted said friend and now the friend told her everything about me reading her logs etc. | I snooped through her phone and let some information slip, now she knows what I did. She wants to meet me tonight to talk about things. What should I do? |
t3_xgu8m | loseit | Help my wife in choosing an in-home workout regiment! | * We just got back from the doctor and we found out my wife has a herniated disc in her back (L1). The doctor said that it was most likely a result of her being pregnant (Baby was born in Dec 11') and that she had to continue losing weight and get in great shape in order for the pain to subside. Since our son was born she has lost 60lbs already! (235ish to 178). She needs/wants to get down to about 135 or less.
* Her plan is to workout 3-5 times a week and here is where I need your help. We don't have access to a gym and she can't really run because of asthma so we were thinking about some sort of DVD workout. We've both done P90x in the past but it seemed a little too intense. She wants to reach her goal by the end of November and has already figured out a diet she can stick to (counting calories using MyFitnessPal). We both have bikes that we plan to ride but she wants something she can do in-home.
* So /r/loseit , can you help us find a DVD or online workout video (tae-bo, yoga, etc.) that you think would work best for her? I'm asking cause I'm not really experienced and don't know how to tell the good from the bad | Do you know of any good workout videos that are cardio/core toning that would be good for my wife? |
t3_2nh0jq | relationships | I [18M] have been crazy about a girl [17F] for 3 years now, is it ok to tell her how I feel? | So I went to school with her for 5 years (we just graduated), and got really close for a while about 3 years ago. Without wanting to go into unnecessary detail, we never ended up dating despite an obvious mutual attraction, and the problem is I've never really gotten over her.
I know in my head that a relationship would never work (totally different interests and personalities, she's very religious I'm not at all, etc) but I cannot for the life of me get her out of my head. We're still just casual friends, but I would do nearly anything for her, despite us not even talking too often. Not sure if its relevant, but she was pretty much the sole focus of my world for a while. (Probably another discussion entirely, but I don't if I love her or not. Hell, I'm 18, how am I meant to know?)
We never really openly talked about our feelings for each other, and she obviously moved on ages ago, but I'm struggling to do the same and I think it'd help me to just tell her how I've felt for the last few years so I can try and get some closure, but I'm not sure if it's fair on her for me to kind of dump it out.
Also, she recently started dating another guy who seems really great, and I don't want to screw that over. I really do want the best for her, but I need to be able to move on, especially now we're not going to school together any more. | I have an insane longstanding crush on a girl and I'm not sure if its fair to tell her how I feel in order to try and achieve closure for myself |
t3_rzwwi | offmychest | A good swift kick in the nuts would help. | For about four years after my amicable divorce I casually dated and maintained a few FWB. As I didn't feel I was ready, I wouldn't let anything get serious, and was up front about this with everyone who might need to know.
Recently I have come to terms with my life and have decided to open up, let my defenses down and allow something to happen if it does. Shortly after coming to this realization I begin a FWB relationship with a fairly long term friend. Though I had long since known the option was there I hadn't started this sooner as she wasn't my preferred 'look'.
Things got hot and heavy quick. We clicked hard. My impression of her was that of a great person with a great personality. I felt lucky to have her to myself. Feeling were developed, I became attached. I would go as far as saying I felt love (it's been a while). I was lead to believe the same was reciprocated.
About two month ago things came to a screeching halt. She lead me to believe that she needed a breather. I was fine with this, I have patience, and she has personal issues that need to be tended to.
Turns out I was being strung along. While leading me to believe that we still had something, she managed to find someone else.
I realize I made stupid moves, and should have ended it a long time ago, but 'love' blinds. I'll be returning to logic, it doesn't hurt so bad.
I deleted Facebook (deleted her phone number as well), will continue to hit the gym, and had no shared assets or liabilities so do not see the need for legal counsel.
One positive (I think) thing is that I realized that I am in fact, still capable of love. | Got kicked in the nuts, then stomped in the face. Would like to get kicked in the nuts again so that I might ignore the pain in my head. |
t3_4gecm0 | relationships | My [25/F] FIL [58/M] is dying of cancer, and all he wants is a grandchild. My husband [28/M] and I are child free. | Basically as the title says, my dying FIL is desperate to be a grandpa but my husband (his only child) and I are child free. Two nights ago he broke down in tears and begged us to at least think about the possibility of having a child.
He's been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor and says that even if he doesn't live to see the child born, knowing that he'll be a grandpa would be enough to die happy. We don't know what to do.
We've been married 4 years and we could afford a child right now, we have a house big enough but it was never part of our plan. We want to travel and retire early. But I feel so guilty. I feel like we could do this as a gift to him but don't want to regret it later in life. Basically need some solid advice. Please help. | Termanilly ill FIL desperately wants a grandchild, husband and I are child free. |
t3_2iyoev | relationships | 23 (M)trying to get in a relationship with a woman 24 (F) who's already in a relationship | To say a little bit about she and I, I'm in the military currently stationed about 10 miles away from her in Chicago. We're both looking for a committed relationship and seem to want to settle down. Her current boyfriend, in my opinion is a man child that seems to be more prevalent in society. He's 20, and also in the military.
So all morals and ethics aside, I just want to be in a relationship with this woman. She's got all the qualities that I want and I have a lot she's looking for as well. We met a couple months ago and we found out we have a lot more in common than we thought so we steadily grew closer. She's been spending a lot more time with her boyfriend lately. I think she's feeling really guilty about wanting me though and is trying to fix a broken relationship that she's in.
So what do I do to try and help this along, or if I just have to wait it out?
I'll provide more information if necessary. | How do I get with a woman in a relationship? |
t3_4rl5kx | legaladvice | California Security Deposit | Hello,
I have recently moved out of my apartment in San Diego, and the landlord is wanting to charge me for a carpet replacement due to a dog urine stain. The carpet was supposedly new from my move-in.
They performed an initial inspection but did not notify me about any of the findings from it (in written or verbal form), which I've come to learn is not proper protocol. Regardless of this, I question the finding of the dog urine stain, as my dog has never urinated in the apartment (600 sq feet, trained very well and no accident when he even had Giardia), and he has never been left alone at home (goes to daycare or a friends place). I do understand however, that my senses and personal judgment can be fallible.
What I want to know is: Do I have recourse to bring in an independent assessor to verify the damages, and estimate possible remedies? The only evidence they've shown is moisture underneath the carpet, which I've suggested may be due to my carpet shampoo wash the night before the inspection. This ties back to lack of follow-up from the initial inspection, as I never got the chance to verify the original damages, and make appropriate repairs.
It isn't cheap to fix, and I don't necessarily think they are being malicious, but I just have a hard time believing it and would like to verify the damage independently. The one procedural aspect that I am going to push back hard on, is their lack of itemization from the initial inspection. | Landlord charging for carpet replacement, I want independent verification of damages. Also, didn't provide itemized list of repairs from initial inspection. |
t3_sw7i2 | self | The Monotone Resume and Changing Careers - Any Advice? [x-posted to r/resumes] | I recently found out that I might be out of a job within the next month. I haven't so much as *looked* at my resume in over three years and am now starting to update/reformat everything so that I can start applying again. Therein lies my problem.
My entire resume is all call center work. I have never worked retail, fast food, etc. From day one, fresh out of high school, I've been the person on the other end of the phone, and quite frankly given the recent turn of events, I'm done with it.
I'm looking into volunteer opportunities to beef up my experience, but am feeling incredibly overwhelmed when looking through postings that require *certification/degrees/X years of experience*, none of which I have. I know that I can include what time I *did* spend in college on my resume, but even that does very little to help my appearance on paper.
The other part of the problem is that while I don't know what exactly I *am* looking for, I *do* know that I don't want to be crammed into a cubicle answering phones all day. Ideally, I'd like to do something creative that incorporates my love of writing, graphic design, film, and art, but those attributes aren't exactly in entry-level job bank listings.
So basically, my question is how do you go about breaking into something else, when all you've ever done is one particular thing? | Call center, call center, call center. Need new job. |
t3_2jrqyp | relationships | I [M23] have recently been dumped by girlfriend of 2 years [F23] we have a child together, how do I get over her? | I'll try keep this short, I went out with friends last week for the first time since my baby boy was born last year and got got carried away with my one night of freedom, this led to my situation now.
The main reason for us being in a rocky position is that during my girlfriends pregnancy she was totally turned off by sex, she caught me watching porn and saw that as the ultimate betrayal. When we did eventually have sex again I recorded it without her knowledge (weird and tbh disgusting I know) the way I saw it was I could use that to relieve myself in the future without the betrayal. Well fast forward a couple months and I forget about the video and of course she finds it and this leads to ww3 and 8 months of pain, eventually she softens towards me and I fuck up again at this party.
I've given up all hope of rekindling, she says she just can't get the video out her head. How do I get over her, I feel like the only light in my life has been extinguished, I'm miserable and although I'd love to go no contact I'll always be there for my son. Any advice would be ever so helpful. | how do you get over the girl you would have given your life for? Time to turn off the Michael Bolton and grow a pair of balls but I need some direction, my brain is wired to think about her dawn till dusk. |
t3_3mt5yx | relationships | I [20m] don't know how to help my friend [27m] who's parents disowned him | Hi Reddit,
Throwaway for anonymity.
My friend hasn't spoken to me for a few days, while we used to talk every single day. He's been disowned by his parents, for reasons I won't state here, and the way he handles trauma is very much "I'm on my own" and he tends to pull back from those who care about him.
He is susceptible to being cared for, but one has to be extremely confident and sure about what they're doing, or it'll be worse and he'll get more upset, more hurt. We've been through more situations where he was hurt and I've heard him tell stories about him doing the same with other friends. It's the way he is.
Thing is, I'm not a confident person. I have some issues with my mental health. I'm in the process of being diagnosed right now, and there are indicators of Asperger's, some other minor issues, and/or a possible identity/personality disorder. I'm not good at being there for other people and I'm typical with having to be told exactly what to do when doing things, if I'm not certain I sort of shut down.
I want to be there for him, but I don't know how to. It doesn't help that the relationship I have with this guy is very complicated. We've known each other for about a year now, and our relationship has gone from great and partly romantic, to less so, to bad, to horrific, to being salvaged. Currently we're still on the latter. It's mostly gotten so bad because of my issues with being there for others.
Now since we've already been through so much he has told me to just lay off - I'm prone to seeking attention, this post being another example - but I don't want to just leave a friend standing out in the cold. He has others who are presumably standing by him but I don't know that for sure.
Should I just lay off and wait for him to be ready for me again? Or should I figure out how to help him, and how do I go about doing that? | I have difficulties caring for my friend because of unknown mental health issues. He's being disowned by his parents, I want to help, but how? |
t3_4spflx | relationships | I[23F] can't find a playgroup/mom group to take my son[1M] to because I'm not obese,single or an older mom. Should I just give up? | I'm trying to find some other toddlers for him to hang out with. I've tried multiple groups but I end up being exculded.
The first one I got a lot of hate because I'm happily married, most of the women were either single, divorced or getting divorced. All they talked about was how horrible men are and that all men cheat. That's ridiculous and I don't want my son being told that he's horrible/will be horrible in the future.
The second was all moms over 35. They were ok aside from completely ignoring my opinions and calling little girl.
The third was also ok at first till they started with the weight comments. They made fun of me for exercising and eating healthy. They made fun of my husband and son for being "scrawny". It even got to the point of one of them trying to get me baker acted(involuntary commitment) because I was in her opinion anorexic.
Should I just say screw it? I feel like I'm going crazy. | All the mom groups here discriminate against you if you're in shape, married and young. |
t3_3hhtw3 | relationships | My boyfriend [15M] of 8 months is meeting a girl who he says is just a 'friend' while Im [15F] on holiday ! | My boyfriend doesn't let me meet boys or contact them. He just told me that he is meeting a girl who is apparently just his friend. They have decided to meet while I am away on holiday. When I asked if he could meet her when I get back so I don't feel so helples he declined and said it had to be while I am away. Should I be worried or am I over reacting? They said they are going shopping, I got so annoyed at this because whenever I asked to go shopping he said he wouldn't yet he will with her. He knows how upset I am about this yet won't chance the date and said he will meet her. Should I be so worried ? | My boyfriend is meeting with a girl while I am away on holiday and can't will not re arrange it for when I am back. Comment would be much appreciated and what should I be worried about? |
t3_3xhemv | relationships | My [27/M] Brother in Law [35/M] who abused my wife [27/F] is coming to Christmas | Looking for help on a family issue. New here and in a frantic hurry for advice so I apologize for rushed grammar and spelling.
Before we got married, my wife used to live with her brother in a house her parents owned while she was pursuing an education. Her Brother lived there also because he was out of work and unwilling to settle for any job.
One night a few years back they got into several arguments over the course of a few days. My wife was feeling pretty stressed about the situation so I suggested that she move in with me once the summer came around. When she told her brother about this he got pissed at the fact she wouldn't be around to look after his dog while he looked for work and storms out
After he blows up she calls me. While I am trying to calm her down via the phone the Brother returns and I hear yelling and banging then the phone goes dead. At this point i drove over their as fast as possible. I get their and she is hiding in the bushes with bruises on her arm. There is marks on the wall where he threw her.
Upset, we cram my car full of her stuff and get her the heck out of there. while pulling out the brother comes running out trying to be my friend saying he wants to be my friend still but doesn't think we'll see a lot of each other cause my wife is a bitch. I didn't say a word and peeled out of the parking lot asap.
Now we are heading over to the in laws for family Christmas this afternoon with two other brother in laws who are nothing but great to us only to learn the shitty one will be there for the first time in years.
I don't know how to deal with this guy who acts like nothing happened. I am anxious thinking about how uncomfortable this will be. I will take any advice on how to get through this peacefully. | Brother in law [35/M] hurt my [27/M] wife 27/F], won't accept responsibility or apologize and now I have to be civilized for the sake of the family. |
t3_2xbq2c | relationships | I (19/m) travel 500 miles to spend time with my gf (18/f) of 5 months just for her to unknowingly leave me halfway through the trip. | I know I can get over her. It just gets to me because she had me come 500 miles just for her to end up leaving me. I was nearly going to be homeless for 4 days because I was originally supposed to leave on Monday and I knew absolutely no one.. gladly, I got a ticket today and I'll be home in 12 hours. I respect her choice, but it was one fucked up way to have it happen. I still kind of hope she gets a taste of her own medicine someday. I need some internet hugs reddit. 😔 Also, any advice on a good home workout would be fucking terrific. I need to get my mind off of her ASAP. | Traveled a long ways not knowing it was for a break up, I need internet hugs and some good home workout techniques. |
t3_3qk4w0 | relationships | Me [25 M], This friend and I started messaging each other and decided to meet up Thursday. She gave me her address and her number. I told her I'd text her later, but shes not responding. Is she interested? Should I not text her, until she decides to respond? | After a couple hours of catching up, I asked if she wanted to go get coffee together, and she said, " That would be great. Yes!" So we decided to meet thursday; so she gave me her address and her phone number. I had to go to work so I said id text her later.
Well I texted her when I got home, and she never replied. So I waited until this morning to text her, and again no reply. She does have a 7 month child, and I totally understand that a child takes up most of your time.
I am really interested in her, but I dont want to be pushy. Is she interested? Should I not text her, until she decides to respond? | This friend and I started messaging each other and decided to meet up Thursday. She gave me her address and her number. I told her I'd text her later, but shes not responding. Is she interested? Should I not text her, until she decides to respond? |
t3_131qzf | relationships | Is it irrational of me (f20) to worry that SO (m20) is going to leave me after being on/off involved for 5 years because of an old high school friend? | Hello /r/relationships, my SO (m20) and I (f20) were high school sweet hearts and dated for 2 years before breaking up in junior year. We both went on to date a couple other people during the past 3 years but stayed kind of close. We decided to give our old relationship another try this past June (this would be 6ish months). Just to emphasize we are in a committed relationship and have talked extensively about plans for the future; including, living together, graduate school, marriage, children, etc.
To back tract a little, during our senior year my SO's best friend decided he wanted to date and when I refused his advances the whole situation became a bit aggressive and very messy (this part of my life lasted about 6 months and is obviously more complicated than this). Long story short, said friend now hates me and verbalizes this frequently.
Fast forward to present day and we have ourselves in a apparently happy and functional long distance (2 hours) relationship; however, my SO struggles both with depression and an eating disorder. We have been working really hard together and seeking a lot of professional help to try to make things easier on him and about a month ago things were starting to look up.
I went to go see him for his birthday and discovered that he had rekindled his friendship with his old group of high school friends (to the point where he was living with the 5 of them most of the time) and had plans to visit his old high school best friend (the one that hates me) as soon as I went home to celebrate their birthdays together.
He stayed with his friend for an entire week and stopped by my apartment on his way back to school. He seemed very happy and even though we hardly spoke that week I was happy that he was happy again. Since his return to school (2 weeks) we have barely talked and haven't skyped (normally a nightly thing) and for the past 3 days communication has been minimal to none (maybe 10 minutes total). | I am worried that by renewing his relationship with his old friends he is distancing himself from me and thus ending a relationship we have worked so hard to keep for the past 5 years. I would never ask him to choose between me and his friends but **is it wrong for me to feel this way and how should I approach the topic when there is zero communication happening?** |
t3_11e2kr | relationships | My [23f] best guy friend [27m] won't talk to me anymore because I won't be his girlfriend | We've been friends for years. He basically said that if I wouldn't become his girlfriend, then he had nothing more to say to me.
I've never led him on, and I made it clear from the beginning that I didn't see us ever dating. I've never flirted with him. Yeah, I talked about guys I was dating, but he told me about girls he fucked. He told me a few times he wanted to be with me, but I made sure he knew we were strictly friends.
Everything was fine until he said he had a dream about us running away together, then he sent me the ultimatum. He is one of my good friends, and I miss him, but he won't respond to my texts. How do I salvage this? | Won't talk to me unless I'm his girlfriend. |
t3_28x04l | relationships | Me [25F] with my boyfriend [27 M] of 6 months, we keep breaking up | I'll try to keep this brief, I'm just looking for some advice/input. I've been with my boyfriend (let's call him Patrick) for 6 months. Recently, we've been having more and more arguments and I just don't know what to do to stop them.
The arguments are nothing significant, mostly misunderstandings because we're both pretty hard-heading and communication isn't either one of our strong suits. However, a few days ago he broke up with me (again), which led to us having a deep and illuminating discussion. He said he was ready to walk away because he, and I quote,"Thinks I am in this relationship as a waiting point until someone better comes along. He sees me as untouchable. That I am so independent and so far from needing anyone, that he thinks I will regret wasting even more time in the relationship than I already have. That I can build an empire from the ground up on my own."
I didn't know how to respond. I told him his view of me was very skewed, that I didn't mean to seem so impervious, but that I'm not waiting for someone better. I think he's an amazing guy, and he's very genuine, but his go-to emotion (so to speak) is anger. He doesn't get sad or upset, he gets mad. And he's not emotionally/physically abusive by any means, he just...detaches himself emotionally. He can go for days without speaking to me, every time we fight, it's me reaching out to him. It's hard to deal with sometimes.
Now, after our long discussion, we came to an agreement to start over. I will approach him more directly with things that he does that bother me, and he will try to be more emotionally adept to my feelings.
I guess what I'm asking, is how do I show him that I'm not untouchable? Is there a way that those of you in relationships communicate that would be helpful? | Boyfriend and I fight all the time recently, I need help finding ways to communicate with him. I don't want him to see me as "untouchable" anymore. |
t3_14i2go | relationship_advice | f20 feels unworthy of m22 | We have been together for two years, lived together for a year and a half. Just got a house together two weeks ago that we rent with a roommate. I have borderline personality disorder and I used to treat him like shit. I was controlling, manipulative, and obsessed. I have since realized that this is NOT the way to go about having a relationship. I love him so much, but I feel like I have screwed us up beyond repair. I can't imagine life without him, but right now I don't know how to act like a normal girlfriend. I've been very depressed for most of our relationship, and I feel like I don't deserve him. He is fantastic and treats me like a princess, but I feel like he is guarded because of how I used to act.
I have days where I don't know what the hell to do. I feel like I could lose the love of my life. I want to marry this man, but I feel like I'm making him miserable, despite his constant reassurance. How could anyone love ME? | I used to be obsessed and controlling, and I feel like I have screwed us up beyond repair. |
t3_37j7mz | tifu | TIFU by throwing a little child. | Another user posted a TIFU about throwing a little person, which reminded me of this. Of course, it happened over ten years ago...
A friend and I were 16 and jumping on his trampoline, when his little brother and little brother's friend wanted to join us. They were 7 or 8 at the time. We used to have this game where they would try their best to get up on the trampoline, and we would playfully push them around and playfight with them. Well, in the heat of battle I got overly excited, and in a move of sheer insanity I grabbed my friend's little brother's arms and threw him from the trampoline just as he was getting a boost jump. The kid flew 2-3 meters (6-9 feet) up in the air, and landed FAAAAAR away from the trampoline. "Landed" is not the right word. It was more like a smashing crash, than anything. The kid took a nosedive, arms and head first, and utterly faceplanted into the ground. He broke both his wrists/arms, and screamed in an agony the likes of which I have never heard before or since. We could hear the snapping of his bones from where we were standing, along with the 'THUD' of his hitting the ground so hard. When he got up, both his hands were bent at an odd angle, as he held them up and screamed. I think I traumatized the poor child for life.
I have never felt worse. | Threw an 8 year old kid off a trampoline and broke both his arms. |
t3_1p3vtz | AskReddit | Reddit, what do you do when your passion doesn't match your talent? | My number ONE favorite thing to do is sing. When I am alone listening to music, I'm singing along to the songs. When I'm in the shower I'm belting out whatever pops in my head. When I'm in public, I have to force myself to stop humming whatever tune comes to mind, etc. I'd make a career out of it if I could. The problem is, I don't have the talent for it. I cannot hold a tune very well, and sound nasally. I can tell a lot of the time when I am off key, and try to correct myself, but can't seem to make myself hit the notes. I want to take voice lessons when I have the money, but I'm 99% sure you have to be born with talent to get anywhere at all in the music industry, and even then it would be extremely hard. I have an interest in computers, and helping hurting children; But nothing else inspires me quite like music and singing does. My ultimate dream would be to sing and make music for people and evoke emotion and help bring healing like music has done for me. | I want to be a singer but don't have the talent for it. What have you guys done when faced with a situation like this? How have you dealt with it? |
t3_2mvycl | Advice | How can I be firmer with my housemates? | I live with my boyfriend and another couple and the two of them are driving me insane. Let's say one of them is called Bob and the other is called Sarah, Bob is the laziest, rudest and the stupidest person I have ever met, he doesn't show any common courtesy to my partner and I, he sleeps and lazes on MY COUCH all day, complains at me because I own too many things, but still happily uses all my stuff. Now Sarah, Sarah isn't as bad as Bob, but Sarah doesn't hoover, Sarah complains about things not being up to her standard of cleanliness, even though she doesn't clean.. She also thinks it's acceptable for us to buy all the amenities for the home, and complain about it when we say it's her turn. They both have no respect for any of my stuff, nor do they respect that when we have family over, we'd like to have the living room for ourselves, Bob will just sit in MY chair as well as on my couch and just play video games whilst my parents are there. I recently had my partners family over for his birthday and we had to retreat to our bedroom because they don't have the capacity to understand common courtesy. I want to be firmer and able to tell them to grow up, but I don't know how! | I want my housemates to show some respect but don't know how to tell them without coming off as a jerk. |
t3_3cr2fj | relationships | My (21m) Girlfriend (20f) of 11 months, and her always sensitive piercing | My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year now, and before we got together, I knew that she had piercings on her nipples and face.
She has had issues with a nipple piercing falling out, healing, and having to be re-stabbed by herself; leading to a situation where sometimes a slight snag or brush can cause her pain and sometimes bleeding.
My question is, how rude or offensive would it be to ask for her to remove them temporarily in the bedroom, even once, to allow all the bare booby touching my little heart desires? Although I don't like them, I don't want her to think that the piercing make her unattractive to me, because I dearly love this girl beyond the piercings.
I know that this whole post is only me thinking about my own desires... But I was hoping to gain some insight as how to approach the subject, or if I should even mention it. | My wonderful girlfriend has a sensitive piercing, need advice on communicating about it |
t3_20punr | relationships | My pseudo-GF [23F] is using me [25M] to replace her ex | About a month ago, I met someone through an online dating site. After the third date, she told me she had recently broken up with her long-term ex and wasn't ready for another relationship yet. I told her that I'm fine taking things slow, and things progress from there. Currently we're in a slightly nebulous fwb relationship. She gets extremely upset by any hint that we are seeing each other or dating, but I'm comfortable keeping things casual.
The problem is that while she wants to avoid calling it a relationship, she keeps trying to make it one. At first we would simply grab dinner once a week, watch tv, have sex and go our separate ways. Now she's wanting to get together almost every night. She's texting me constantly. At least five times during the day, to the point where my boss has noticed and commented on it. Long conversations every night. After she had been to my place a few times, she asked to spend the night. Last night at 9 pm, she said she was having a bad day and asked if she could sleep at my place. All these are steps that I don't take until I'm in a serious relationship.
I know that she recently decided to break up with her long-term SO, and is having a hard time getting over it, although I don't know any details. I want to help and be supportive, but I worry that I'm making things worse. Any time she hears from her ex or is feeling depressed, she clings to me to fill an emotional void, and I'm worried that this will keep her from moving on. I like her a lot, and want to help her through this, but I cannot imagine this is healty. I'm not sure of the best way to proceed without hurting her further. | Girl has a rough break-up with her long term SO, and is using me as a proxy relationship to fill the void. Am I making things worse? |
t3_28qhu6 | relationships | My [26] husband [27] has issues that he refuses to get help for, and it's completely draining me. | I met my husband in high school, back then he had depression and anxiety stemming from a very strict and religious upbringing. He moved out as soon as he turned 18 and distanced himself from his parents, and things got a lot better.
Shortly after we started dating and eventually got married. Things were great for the first year or so, then his depression and anxiety came back, but this time along with some pretty bad anger issues. Three years ago we had a child, and all the issues got worse.
He gets upset easily and over the tiniest things (he's gone off on me before for coughing while he was watching tv), which sometimes turns into him breaking and throwing stuff. He's said some pretty unforgivable things to our child and I, but I always forgive him because I know he has a lot going on mentally (or maybe I'm just stupid, who knows).
I'm just so fucking exhausted from constantly walking on eggshells and dealing with so much anger and tension. He knows his behavior is wrong, he's admitted that, but he said he'll never get help from a psychologist or therapist for it and if it's such a big issue, I can leave. I feel like it would be wrong to leave him because of mental illness though, and I really do love him.
So, I have no clue what to do. I don't want to give him an ultimatum. His behavior is so unpredictable that I wouldn't feel safe saying that I plan on leaving until I've actually moved out. I'm also completely scared shitless to be on my own, and I'm convinced that I'll totally fail at life without him. I've been a stay at home mom since our child was born and highly doubt I can find a job seeing as I haven't worked in so long. | My husband's issues are sucking the life out of me. He refuses to get help and I don't know what I should do. |
t3_22lhna | relationship_advice | [PSA] Learn from my mistakes and know that when you start a relationship with someone, you should only take it day by day. | I've had my fair share of experiences and heart-to-heart conversations with friends enough to realize a unifying issue with most relationships. Just reading many of the posts in /r/relationships has made me certain that this a prevalent problem.
So what I mean by taking it day by day is that when you are in the early-middle stages of a relationship, you **should not** make huge promises for the future. E.g. "we're going to married", "what about kids", "we will live together soon". This applies *regardless of age.*
Enjoy every **present moment** with your partner. As long as you are happy with your partner that day, then you keep going. You won't feel pressured by any huge promises that may hang over your head. You and your partner can begin to enjoy each other's company.
It's not healthy to begin a relationship with a long-term view, however much you two might be in love. Take it easy, and there will be less pressure on both of you.
I wish you all the best. | For those that are starting to date, don't even look past that afternoon or night. Take it day by day and maybe it'll lead to something one day. |
t3_1gn3cq | offmychest | I hate my job! | I don't have a lot of money. I don't have any, really. I rent my house with my sister, I'm making payments on a car that is sitting in a lot likely totaled, and I have no savings. At my last job I had almost no commute, I lived in an apartment that I was able to afford on my own, and had money to spare. And everyone at work liked me!
About 18 months ago I took my current job because it offered way more per hour (now I make about $6 more per hour than before) and it offered more opportunities. But what they didn't tell me was they gouge you in health insurance prices and make you join their gym and pay for it and on top of that I have to commute a total of 50 miles a day. So at the end of taxes and everything I'm taking home about the same amount of money.
I worked as the supervisor on my shift for about 6 months until we had a new department built and had some upgrades that I had all the expertise and prior experience on, and as soon as I got everyone settled they decided to "go in another direction". Now I get treated like crap every day. Whenever I have an idea to solve a problem I get CALLED the problem and whenever I go through the proper channels to complain about someone's bad behavior I am told I always "play the victim".
I actually care about the work I do and I'm surrounded by a bunch of people who are just trying to claw and backstab their way to the top or are just kids that needed an air conditioned part time job to get their way through college.
I'm having some deep regrets about leaving everything about my last home. I was going to submit an application to my old job but then I remembered that no, I do not have reliable transportation right now because the insurance company of the asshole that rammed his 18wheeler into me refuses to accept liability yet. And I don't have a rental included on my FULL COVERAGE car insurance policy. Also bullshit.
I need to sleep on it but I'm pretty sure I'm still going to hate my job in the morning. | I hate my job and nothing else about my life is super awesome either |
t3_1u8np9 | offmychest | The guys I date always want to chat up my friends | So I have had several boyfriends and guys that I just talked to that have always went after my friends after we are done. For some reason it makes me feel A. They were just talking to me to get close to my friends B. My friend has something I don't. C. Or maybe we are both too flirty for our own good.
I have had countless boyfriends who always ask if me and my best friend are into threesomes.. Her and I have not done anything together and I fear that any such thing would be bad for our relationship due to her past experiments with girls.
I have an ex who would jump at a chance to be with her.. I have actually found a message from her and him that stated as such and they both said "I wish you weren't my friends ex".
I have also dated several people who have been attracted to her and some of them even pursuing her after me. I have also had some of her guys try to come onto me. I have never dated or done anything with the guys that came onto me but I know that she has with my old "flings"..
It's not that I still care about the flings but sometimes it just annoys me. AM i thinking too much into this? Why is it that my guys want to try a piece of my friend? Sometimes I wonder if they weren't interested in me so they went after her.. I know that I'm a great catch and so is she.. We are similar but we have different tastes and dating styles. | Guys I date go after my friend when we are done. I have never done anything with the guys she dates, even though they have asked, but she has with mine. I feel like it is childish to be insecure about something like this but it bugs me to think about. |
t3_1is1gc | relationships | My crush [19F] has just broken up her boyfriend, and I [19 M] am not sure what to do without ending up in the friendzone? | Overall, I've liked this girl for a while now. We've known each other for about 4 months, been good friends for about 3. She's been with her boyfriend for about a year and a half.
This morning, I got a text from her saying that her and her boyfriend are 'completely over'. I reply, 'wanna talk'? She immediately replies back, suggesting we go get smoothies or something. However, I had plans already that morning, so things didn't pan out.
I texted her a new time though, and she said okay, but never followed through. I texted her again a couple hours later, she said her phone died, but she wants to 'do something' tomorrow.
---
So at this point, I've established that I am very close to this girl. My first instinct is to comfort her and provide emotional support in a very friend-ly way, but I realize now that I might just become her best friend in the process. So how do I become an option in her eyes while simultaneously helping her over the break up? | How do I help my good friend over a break up while establishing myself as a potential boyfriend at the same time? |
t3_34y5a1 | relationships | My[19F] boyfriend [21 M] talks to other girls | My boyfriend for almost two years lies to me about who he talks to. He still talks to one of his ex's and comforts her whenever something is wrong. This bothers me because they didn't work out because of distance and she asks him things like "what would have happened if we had worked out" and "do you still think about us" and even though he says things like "not really" it still upsets me.
I've asked him not to talk to her because I feel uncomfortable about the situation and feel its inappropriate. He always eventually says that I'm more important then her and even though they are just friends he will stop talking to her. Then I'll be using his computer and she'll message him again and it turns out he lied about it. The cycle happens again and he promises then breaks his promise.
The problem is he also does this with this other girl except she's extremely rude to me and that's why I don't like him talking to her. She has asked if she can post pictures with him where she's sitting on his lap to make other guys jealous and taken shots with him to "having sex with whoever you want" while I'm right next to him.
He says he hates her and would never talk to her but she just recently blocked me on all social media even though I don't talk to her and then I found out they had been going to bars together. He has promised to stop hanging out with her multiple times but never does.
He tells me that its nothing but if its nothing then why doesn't he stop? I ask him not to lie to me and just tell me if he's talking to them so at least I'm not blind sided but he just tells me he stopped then does it again.
I feel so confused and hurt and like I'm being messed with. I just advice or someone to help me figure out what I should say to him so he understand how he's effecting me. I feel completely alone. Thank you for taking the time to read this. | I feel completely lied to |
t3_2l2d6i | tifu | TIFU by getting too into a FB article | So this happened a few weeks ago but let me go on:
I had finished a long day at work and I didn't get out until 1.30am (busy city restaurant) so I walk to the train station as usual for the last train of the night that comes at 2am, so while I'm waiting I pop in my earphones and scroll through Facebook and get really into this article on Jezabel. About 20 minutes later I look up and notice the sign says the train leaves in 1 minute, so I look around but I cant see it. I think to myself "that's a little odd" because usually the train stays for 5 minutes before leaving, so I walk up the platform only to see the my train, doors closing and about to take off. I run up the platform frantically waving my arms around, hoping the train driver will see me, but nope, the bugger just cruises off with my hope of getting some rest and the next ep of AHS. Turns out the train was 2 carriages shorter than usual so it pulled up further down from where I was.
I then waited until 5am for the next one because it was too far to walk and I couldn't afford a cab to my car which was 45 minutes away. | I missed the last train of the night after work, while I was already at the train station, and had to wait another 3 hours for the next one. |
t3_16rqsg | relationship_advice | I (19M) don't think I'm sexually attracted to my gf (19) anymore. Please help!! 2 year relationship | For starters, I am absolutely in love with this girl. I don't think I can love anybody as much as I love her. She's still very pretty to look at, she's absolutely stunning and my friends think so too. It's just I don't really feel like having sex sometimes or doing anything with her. I just like lying down are relaxing with her. We've been dating for almost 2 years. I see other hot girls and fantasize about them but for some reason I just can't seem to get that arroused by my gf anymore. She's a great person too. I need help because I want to fix this, I don't want to leave her but I don't know what to do. | I(19M) don't think I'm sexually attracted to my gf(19) of 2 years anymore but I want to change it. |
t3_2lsjtw | relationships | Should I [24 M] ask her [22 F] if the feeling is mutual? | So I've been seeing this girl for 2 months, now. We go on dates twice a week, we have fun, and she spends the night and we sleep together in the same bed. But we've only have had sex once.
She has told me that she has had attachment issues in the past and is trying really hard not to get attached to me. I have a feeling she is succeeding with this because she has ignored me for two days now. She also isn't very open with her feelings which is a red flag for me.
I was told never to tell a girl how I feel about her but I need to get it out there. I am thinking of saying something along the lines of : Look I have grown fond of you and care about you but if this feeling isn't mutual between us then I think we should stop seeing each other. Is this too harsh? Any suggestions? | How do you ask if the feeling is mutual? Is it a bad idea? |
t3_4ukuw6 | relationships | My friend [18 F] is in a abusive relationship with her Boyfriend [18 M] for three months, need advice | So I have this friend that I have known about 5 years now, who used to be very bright and cheery, but recently she has been dating this guy who seemed nice at first, but became very abusive Mentally. I thought it was strange that she has been a little distant and not really interacting with anyone.
It was last week where she started talking to me again, and I was delighted as we are very close friends and I was a bit focused with work in the past month. But it was until yesterday that she spilled what was going on, which appalled me and to be honest made me pretty angry.
Turns out after the first month he would yell at her for talking to guys, or his friends will hit on her in front of him, she will get yelled at for "flirting". They argue every night as to why she hasn't replied to him in under 10 minutes, or if she didn't like one of his post on social media to the point she cries herself to sleep, which she has shown me text of her telling him that something made her cry and he replies "shut up."
He has also threatened to hit her and has tried to manipulate her into sexual acts, with the classic "If you loved me you would do it." or he makes himself out to be the victim. Also he tries to keep her from her friends and only I and another friend knows about this. She says she is afraid to break up with him as she doesn't know what he will do or that he will hurt her.
The most frustrating part is I live 12 hours away so there is not much I can do due to distance and I want to help her get out of there as soon as possible and have been thinking all day at work of ways I could help, but what do you guys think she or I should go about this?
Btw I'm M 22 | My friend is in a mentally abusive relationship and is afraid to leave him, and I'm 12 hours away so I don't have many options. |
t3_36d8dk | relationships | [w/40's] in love with [m/40's] It doesn't feel right like this | Lucky me, I have fallen in love~!! He is a yr older than me, but we are above the avg. age of the reddit folks.
It all started when I found out he was going to Colorado to visit "a friend" who I found out was some girl who he put on her facebook photo "hurt me now" and basically cant wait to see you. Well he never went to Co. so I thought all was said and done.
I noticed a month later I can no longer see anything from April 10th on from his and hers facebook page (odd) so I decide to friend him and what do you know (he will not friend me) - it has been 2 weeks and I HAVE mentioned it to him and he runs around it like a politician! Now he wants to move in with me (with his 14 yr old son) and tells me how much he loves me and so on, I don;t know what to think anymore.....Is he full of poo-poo or am I just worried about nothing?!? | Not friending me, and I think he feels for her - Am I just worrying to much? |
t3_hfe7n | AskReddit | Help! A surprise mural was put up in Encinitas, San Diego and the town has voted to remove it. | This amazing stained glass mural was placed in the Encinitas neighborhood of San Diego on Easter 2011 by a group of artists under the disguise of construction workers in broad daylight. It's a beautiful painting depicting a figure that people have associated with the Lady Madonna surfing a wave with the words "Save the ocean" next to it.
Here's the article with picture:
San Diego is an ocean loving city between surfing, sailing, and beach-going. The mural has a definite place around here and should be admired.
Two people were quoted in the article, Amy Sies, and Stan Gafner as opponents to the art with pretty ridiculous quotes about it. It angered me in a way. I'm not deeply religious, nor actively practicing any regularly and I take no offense to it. I'd like to have realistic discussions with them, I don't understand why people take such offense to things like this.
I do believe in saving the oceans, as I am an avid ocean user. I think murals like this are an important reminder to the ocean, not to religion. It's not telling you to believe in Christianity or anything like that. I believe it's trying to use a figure that we all recognize for some reason, to draw attention to something else.
Regardless, the town council has voted to have it removed but are spending the money to preserve it, however opponents to it are pushing to have it removed no matter what damage is caused to it.
They don't know who the artists are. | How can we save this wonderful mural whose artist remains anonymous, and how deeply religious is this anyway? |
t3_myr0u | AskReddit | What is the thing you have been most loyal to throughout your life? | I'm only 23 but let me start.
I went to a scout camp as a kid in the Adirondacks in New York and fell in love with the place. It is a "High Adventure" camp and involves week long canoeing or backpacking adventures for the scouts that attend.
I have been working at this camp each summer now since 2005. I started as a lowly counselor in training, worked my way to being one of the guides that takes the troops out on their treks and now to being the trek/program director of the camp.
I do a lot of off-season promotion for the camp to local scout troops on my own time and am continuously looking for ways to improve the experience for the kids. The job does not pay much but I have a lot of pride in the program we operate and keep every summer I work my ass off to make it an unforgettable experience for the people that attend. | Went to a camp as kid, worked there for 7 years now and essentially run the show. Put in a lot of time and take pride in the program even though I could be making more money elsewhere. |
t3_4cxdt8 | relationships | I (28F) found my (50M) biological father, and now I don't want a relationship | * | Found my bio dad and he's a druggie felon. Now that I've made contact, do I owe him a chance at a relationship? |
t3_2iafuq | relationships | My[22F] and by 'best friend' [22F] have had a falling out | This is basically me ranting, sorry if it doesn't make too much sense. My best friend of four years and I have had quite a falling out and I don't see how we are going to ever be the same.
For a while she hasn't been supportive of me, and simply not interested in my life, but I kind of just let it go. Maybe I let it go because I didn't see that I deserve better, but now I do.
I recently got engaged to the love of my life, I have made new friends and have started studying again.
Last weekend we were supposed to have a heart to heart, as we both felt like our friendship was facing some problems. Instead of that, she invited me to a small 'party' because her mum had gone away for the weekend. I explained that I would come, but wasn't going to stay the night because I had tickets to a food festival with my flat mate the next day. She became super passive-aggressive and made me feel like a bad person for having other friends.
The day after I said I wouldn't stay over she was supposed to help me run a children's party for 30+ children. Two hours before it was due to start, she cancelled on me. I was left to work the party by myself, and hide how pissed off I was to the people employing me.
I then didn't even bother going to her house the next day, because I was super pissed off. We haven't spoken since.
She thinks I am changing, because I don't want to spend weekends drinking, smoking and partying anymore. I am enjoying studying, being with my fiancee and going to things that are more intellectual. I'm simply growing up, I'm entering a new stage of my life, and I am happy.
It's taking a lot to remember that I am changing for the better, and if she can't be on board with these changes, then she's not very welcome in my life. | My 'best friend' isn't happy that I am improving myself |
t3_2cxnag | relationships | Me [26 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] been dating for over 2 years, tempted to cheat | I do not know what it is, but she just left a couple of days ago and we didnt have sex before she left for a long vacation because we were pretty busy. Out of nowhere today I just felt the need to cheat, mentally I been telling myself its wrong and I love her which I do a lottttt. So I do not know where this is coming from its the first time I've been thinking like this. We got into a fight a couple of months ago where I caught her in a lie, it was something stupid, but I still do not appreciate being lied too. Is this me acting out? I don't know but its really pissing me off, I am not the type that cheats and I've never had thoughts like this, I just do not know how to deal with them, has anyone went through this before. | feeling the urge to cheat, do not know why |
t3_qxew2 | AskReddit | What is your most awkward walked in on situation (NSFW)? | I bring this up cause mine just happened. You know, since it was Steak & BJ day, or as me and my girlfriend call it White Day. So we were having sexy time in her room, believing we had the house to ourselves. Then suddenly the door opens and her mom is in the doorway. Bam, she sees her daughter tied up, kinbaku style, and being violated anally....I was mortified cause it's such a weird situation to be in. But her mom just gave a coy smirk and said, "I bought back some brownies you guys can enjoy after you're done with your fun." Then she walked out and closed the door. Her mom didn't bring it up the rest of the night...but it was weird and hard to make eye contact with her. | gf's mom walked in on me violating her daughter anally and laughed it off. |
t3_1pxeis | relationships | Got dumped for the first time. 21[F] 3 1/2 years | My boyfriend of three and a half years recently broke up with me. We met when we were in high school. Less than a week and a half later, on Halloween, I saw him with another girl and his family. These were our plans for Halloween. When I got upset my friend looked me strait in the eye, and said loud enough for the whole bar to hear, "You got dumped, deal with it, get over it." This is basically how all my friends have reacted even though it's only been two weeks.
He started seeing this girl four days after he dumped me. I'm taking it hard but I am left to pick myself up. So I'm just wondering what do you do after a breakup without friends? When you are left on your own? | Just got dumped and my friends suck. How do you get over a guy without your friends? |
t3_558mnn | relationships | Me [23F] with my (poly) partner [23M] - girl he's seeing has disturbing ex. Urgent! | Hello dear all. Posting for my partner since he is not on Reddit, he needs your help asap. So, my partner (M, 23) of one year is currently involved with another girl (we're poly) while I'm living abroad. She has a psychologically abusive ex (M). He manipulated her to stay in a relationship with him while she wanted to end things and is now stalking and harrassing her. He knows that my partner is seeing her, and has stated to her that he wants to hit him. The girl has tried to block him on all media but he still manages to text and call her (or she lets him), stating things such as "I'll come to your house if you don't call me now" and "why do you let yourself get fucked". He has absolutely no respect for her, and my partner and I are both very afraid that he will do something to her. We think she should get a constraining order, she says he'll never hurt her (which we're not so sure of, so far it just hasn't been physical YET).
The urgency: the ex saw the two of them out last night, and today my partner could not get a hold of the girl when he wanted to make sure she was fine. He is afraid that he's come to her house, or that he's convinced her to meet him. What would you advise him to do in this situation, right now? Should he call someone else? He doesn't have her family's contact details. My partner cares about this girl, and we agree that her relationship with her ex is potentially very dangerous. I want to help but I don't know much about these issues. | a girl my partner's seeing has a stalking ex and we are worried for her safety. What can my partner do? |
t3_2uk1pl | relationships | Me [17 M] with my 19 [F] have been dating for 15 months and the last 5 have been long distance. Does this sound like a breakup text? | My girlfriend and I are having some troubles with this semi-long distance relationship (an hour or so away). I have made every effort to try and drive to see her every couple of weeks. We were planning on seeing each other this weekend, as this was the only weekend that fit our schedules. Then a huge storm hit where we live and the roads were too dangerous to travel that far.
Her response to me telling her I couldn't make was very confusing to me. I understood her frustration for the cancellations of plans, but what I couldn't understand is her attitude toward the state of our relationship now. I have been fighting to keep us together since the first day she left for college. I have always told her that we were going to make it, and that I would try my hardest to keep us close.
I received this text today from her:
"I'm tired of doing this. I'm tired of there never being enough time, trying to work around our schedules just to get six hours with each other for one day. I don't think I can do this distance anymore. It's just getting to hard, and it's only going to get harder"
This sparked an argument because to me this sounds like she's tired of the stress and wants to break up. She later tells me that I misunderstood the text and that I am at fault for blowing up on her. I told her that I was going to text her back in a little while when we both weren't as upset, and she gets more upset that I'm ignoring her and drawing it out.
I
love this girl so much and I know that if we just make it to this summer, everything will be ok because I will be going to her college next year. We have had great memories and I love every second that I am with her. The times that I am with her make her seem like a totally different person than when we are apart. I don't want to break up when we are this close to the hard part being over (3 months). | My girlfriend and I are struggling with a long distance relationship. I got a text today that seemed like she wanted to break up with me. |
t3_2t42ir | relationships | Should I [F21] hang out with my ex-best guy friend [M22]? | So, without ranting in detail about the details of my You Belong With Me story gone wrong, I'll give you a brief snippet of history. I fell in love with my 'best friend' about 3 years ago, got rejected, and got heart broken. Many things happened, and we drifted apart - despite both of us attempting to salvage the friendship. I then fell into a spiral of depression; he was my "first love" and being rejected really hurt me. Fast forward 2 years till today. We don't really talk. He still wishes me happy birthday at 12am every year, and we chit chat here and there online, but rarely. I never initiate contact and have moved past it. I've also fallen in real love and have the most amazing boyfriend. My ex-best friend knows my love of soccer and invited me to join a league (he's the head of the athletic council at my university). I was psyched at the idea (good way for me to get in shape, it should be fun, blah blah). He mentioned it'd be a good way to "see each other more". I agreed to be cordial, and told him to remind me when the league starts. It starts today and he invited me to come last night. I don't know whether I should. 1) My current boyfriend said he doesn't mind, but - I doubt that it won't bother him on some level or another, 2) I still bear some resentment against my ex-best friend, 3) I don't know whether I want to open that can of worms. I said I'd visit to check it out and say hi, but it's an hour to the practice and he messaged to ask me if I'm still coming. What should I do? | Should I hang out with the guy who broke my heart? |
t3_1kfcfo | AskReddit | Servers of reddit, what is the most ridiculous justification people have used in order to stiff you on a tip or get free food? | I don't work in the food service industry, but several of my friends do, and they tell me it is hell.
My buddy told me a story about a family of five who came in to the pizza joint he worked at and ordered several pizzas. When they were served, the patrons told the server everything was fine, ate one piece of each pizza, and complained that they were all wrong. They sent the pizzas back, got several more, ate a few slices each, and the order was "wrong" again.
They managed to walk out with an incredibly reduced bill and didn't pay a tip because of the lack of "quality service."
I could take this on a larger rant about how ridiculous it is that servers/restaurant owners have to put up with blatant shit like this, but I'm curious about your stories. | Family acts like assholes, gets free pizza. What's your story about ridiculous ways people got reduced bills, free food, or refused to tip because of some made-up reason? |
t3_1k8usb | relationships | Me[22M] with my unofficial SO [24F] of 3 months, talked and she wants the perception of our future to change | I have been talking to this girl for 3 months almost daily, all her friends love me, and everything has been going great. We are at the point where we have been unofficially exclusive for a little while now. We have spent a lot of time together up until recently. We have very good communication and have always been extremely honest with each other.
She randomly called me up tonight and said she needed to talk to me about something. She said she is really not sure why and she doesn't understand it but she's not sure that we have a future in a serious relationship. She said that it doesn't make any sense at all because we have so much fun and we agree on almost everything, but that for now she wanted the perception that this is definitely going to become something serious to change as she is unsure on what she wants longterm. She also explained that this was the ONLY thing she wants to change for now, she still wants things to go on as they were before the talk, etc and just wants the perception to change. I basically agreed and just left it at time will tell. She said that worked and her mind can certainly change.
Some points I think factor in
-She has been out of town the last three weekends on family summer vacations and we have had zero face to face time
-she has been insanely busy as she is coordinating the move into her new 2 year leased house for her and three of her friends
Some things she thinks factor in
-worried theres not enough "spark" but said this could be to not have face to face time in awhile
-we have different situations going on, she has a full time job and is just starting to live on her own and I am still in school and living with my parents probably until the winter semester starts.
So, what should I do to try and steer this in the right direction? I feel very strongly about this girl and would prefer things to work out. | unofficial SO wants our future perspective as a serious couple to change but wants everything else to stay the same. |
t3_4882bs | Advice | Wrestling Regionals vs. Other priorities? | I'm a high school student and I hot accepted to regionals for wrestling (which is an honor). However it is this Friday going into Saturday and Friday night is our school dance that I was going take my girlfriend to. She straight up told me that she would be a little upset if I didn't go to the dance, because I had promised her. I also have play practice, which I am a lead in, all week as well as numerous tests. So reddit, what do I do? This is my first year wrestling, so I may get my ass kicked, and I may do it next year, but for now I don't know what to do. | Do I go to a huge wrestling tournament, or take my girlfriend to a dance I promised I'd take her to? |
t3_3bgi9j | askwomenadvice | He's acting like we didn't break up... | I recently moved to a different state for the summer, and before doing so my boyfriend and I separated because of other issues, on top of distance. But, he is still in love with me. And I am not sure if I still am with him, but I definitely have strong feelings for him still. And I really don't know if I want this to be over, *forever*. He's great and I know I'm being extremely selfish. I just have this hope that someday it could work out, but not while I am in a different state!
I made it clear before I left that we aren't together during this time apart. Since being here though, he talks to me all the time and he still says "I love you" to me and acts like we're together. I didn't know how to deal with that, I've said "I love you" back. Because I did/do(?)
A few days ago though I told him I needed a little more space. And then I had a crazy stupid drunk night and had a threesome. And he is visiting me in 2 days.
I guess my issue is, do I need to tell him what happened before he visits me, so he can decide if he still wants to come? I feel like he needs to know for his own sake/health. He is definitely visiting me fully intending on having sex with me again. Since I've been here he has acted like we didn't even break up. How should I react when he tells me "I love you" still? | He doesn't want things to be the way they are, but they are, and I know it's going to hurt him, but I don't know how to deal. |
t3_511yn6 | relationships | Me [30 F] with my friend [29 M] I have a crush, need help proceeding | Hi /r/relationships i need your help. I got a crush on a guy and i need to know how to proceed.
A bit of back story: He and i used to work together and we had a great connection, things escalated when we started working out together, it was there i thought he might be in to me. Beyond our workouts, he would go out of his way to meet me even just for coffee, he even got me a silly birthday gift that was a bit of an insight joke. Just to name a few things.
We no longer work together but his messages have increased and he is even helping me look for a new place to live; offering to help research places, and come with me just to make sure I'm safe. He currently is at a family weekend thing and has been messaging me throughout it all. That said, he can be a bit flirty in general, but all our mutual friends agree he is closer to me then others.
He has never made a formal move on me, we flirt but that is the extent of it.
I like this guy, what should I do? | I like a guy, he might be interested, socially awkward, please help me! |
t3_2x2i5z | relationships | My girlfriend [20/F] and I [20/M] were having a discussion about ethics, and she said something about violence that worries me. | So for background, I enjoy social science. I study it at university, and I especially enjoy ethics.
Today, my girlfriend tagged me in a video your grandmother has probably shared on Facebook that was a guy and his girlfriend at a baseball game and they end up on the kiss cam, however he looks angry and is on his phone and is ignoring his girlfriend. The camera comes back to them 3 separate times, and all 3 times he ignores her. The final time, a mascot comes over, takes the girls drink, dumps it on the guy, picks up the girl, and carries her away.
Now, she thought it was funny. And granted it was, but I thought it was interesting from an ethics standpoint that people saw it okay and even funny that someone resorted to violence and assaulting the man simply for ignoring his girlfriend, even if they have no idea what he was on the phone for (ignoring her was a dick thing to do, but in no way warranted violence as a retort).
Anyways, I brought it up to my girlfriend that I thought it was weird that people encouraged this violence and she said to me, and I quote "If you ever did anything like that I MYSELF would assault you."
Now this really scared me because my girlfriend frequently (once a week) has anxiety attacks, and she deals with them by getting furious over nothing and will punch walls. She has (playfully) hit me, and usually does it pretty hard.
I tried explaining that it genuinely worried me that she said that, and she is saying that I'm being dramatic, should man up, and that the guy in the video deserved it, and would I if I did that.
Am I being dramatic by worrying about my girlfriend thinking violence and assault are appropriate responses to things like this?
Excuse any typos, I'm on mobile. | Girlfriend thinks violence is an appropriate response to being insulted. Am worried for safety. |
t3_2rnyfm | tifu | TIFU by confusing Foo Fighters with Nickelback. | I'm sitting in college campus, student rec center. We've got these seminar rooms where people usually go to study/play video games etc. Anyway, from the adjacent room, I can hear people singing to song playing. "There goes my Hero, Watch him as he goes". Now there's a guy sitting to my left at the same table, he looks up at me, and we exchange glances and laugh. Then I say while shaking my head: "Fucking Nickelback". The look he gave me was the most confused and befuddled and now I feel like an absolute retard.
My thought process was the word "Hero > that's a nickelback song or something right? > I hate nickelback." I completely forgot about the Foo Fighters one. | Dave Grohl should Learn to Fly his fist through my forehead. |
t3_hoo5h | AskReddit | I didn't realize he was one of those teachers | I've been taking biology classes with this one guy for the last few quarters at my college and he seemed like an awesome dude. I lead a busy life aside from college with two jobs and need to use the public transit to get to class, which can sometimes run late. Because the bus system here isn't very reliable, I've be late to class a few times. He used to take late work the same day as long as it's before five. (these were morning classes) This quarter, however, he no longer takes late work past the start of class on the dot, no matter what. You can email in your work early though, for two points off, except I'm in the process of moving and have no internet right now. Big ass assignment is due today and because of traffic, I get there late but try and email him before I head to class at the school's computers. The email goes out at 9:03. He won't take it at all though. Am I crazy in thinking his new rule is fucking ridiculous? I mean, shit fucking happens, sometimes it's part of life. Would you not agree he should be a bit more lenient? Does anyone else have a teacher like that? How did/would you deal with it? | My teacher won't accept an assignment a few minutes past the deadline when I get stuck in traffic and have no way of getting it to him before the deadline, is that a fucking dick move in your oppinion? |
t3_2tqe8i | relationships | Me [28 F] with my husband [26 M] of one year having problems | My husband and I have been together for under a year and a half total. We married just before our one year anniversary. I have only known him for the length of our relationship. It has had its ups and downs. He's a swinger, but I know he wouldn't break my trust and cheat on me. He likes to look at other women and chat with them online. I know he has cheated on others in the past and it scares me. I'm really not interested in swinging, more interested in building a life. He does want that, and he's ambitious, which I adore, but lacks emotional understanding of me at times due to his upbringing. I don't blame him for any of this. I know it's just who he is.
I've been talking to one of my oldest friends who I have missed for a long time. We left each other on strange, unresolved terms; we'd had a relationship that was very close, and I feel like I can talk to him about anything. It's clear we're still very close. Not long ago, he told me he is still in love with me. He lives states away, and I live with my husband, who I am somewhat financially dependent on.
I'm not looking for judgment, which is what most of the internet seems to offer when it comes to things like this. I just have no friends and need some advice. | Married, but my best friend is in love with me. |
t3_2rz9na | tifu | TIFU by getting recognized by my internet alias at school | So, this actually happened a few weeks ago, but Im a little bitch and didn't want to post it until now. I also know that there is a TIFU similar to this, but lets get started with my fuck up.
About 2 weeks ago, there were about 3 new kids in my school (Im 17 by the way, and in 12th grade.) So, when these 3 kids walked into the classroom, they got introduced and everything like that. I was just sitting in the back, staring out the window and not knowing what was going on. And out of no where I hear someone scream "CHAI!" At this point, I flip the fuck out and stare at the 3 kids in horror. They all knew about my tumblr and they were all fans of me.
And of course, I was the one who had to show them around. Which was awkward as hell. As we were walking down the hall, they were following me and just staring at me from behind. I felt like they were dogs who shat in their bed and just stare at you, expecting you to clean it.
So, now everyone knows that Im some transgender kid on tumblr. | new kids saw that i was from tumblr, i get stared at, everyone in my school knows that im transgender |
t3_15fhz7 | relationships | How do I [27F] talk about marriage with my long term boyfriend [33M]? | When we first got together, neither of us were really gung-ho about the idea of marriage. I had just broken up with a guy I thought for sure I would marry after 4 years together. I was jilted from my breakup, fresh out of college and not really sure what I wanted. I thought the idea of breaking up was much easier than getting a divorce and figured "Whats wrong with just being together?" ie - commitment without marriage.
His issue with marriage was that he never found someone he felt he could spend his entire life with. Fast forward 2 years and here we are. We live together and have both agreed that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. Married or not, he's the only thing I want and he's reciprocated the same sentiment many times. He's my boyfriend by name but truly my husband in spirit. However now, I find myself fantasizing about actually calling him my husband and him calling me his wife. I keep playing it out in my head how he would propose to me. But I'm not sure how he feels. He'll say some things that make me think he wants to marry me, for example: when I sign my name really fast like on a check or a bill, my last name looks like his and he'll comment saying its fate. Other times, he's totally indifferent about marriage. How do I casually bring it up without freaking him out or making him feel like I'm pressuring him? I do not want to pressure him at all...I just want to know how he feels about it. | Talking to my long term bf about marriage |
t3_kvq7l | AskReddit | Please Reddit help me. Serious question regarding possible rape. | My girlfriend broke up with me a little over a month ago for a variety of different bullshit reasons. We dated for close to a year and a half. She calls me up last night wanting to talk.
She tells me about one night a few months back where she went with a friend of ours to another one of our friends houses after a party where she had way too many drinks. This friend of ours who I hang out with regularly apparently followed her into the bathroom and had sex with her. I wasn't there and i arrived roughly 15 minutes after said incident.
She claims the reasons she gave me for the breakup were made up due to her guilty conscious. I'm feeling really depressed about the whole situation and the fact it was with a friend of mine. | My gf cheated on me with a friend and she makes it sound like rape. Any advice? Should I do anything? |
t3_1xcqkx | relationships | I'm[21m] thinking about asking a girl[19F] at my work. Should I? | Hi reddit, hoping to get some advice, long time lurker and decided to make a throwaway. So this is actually my second week working and met a girl I think I would really get along with. She helped me with training and we have our laughs but I'm wondering if it's too soon. We encountered each other about 3 times but I've only worked with her once and that's only because she had to cover for someone. Basically we both have different schedules. And valentines day is right around the corner. I highly doubt I'll see her again before then.
My suggestion would be to try asking her friend who I'm working with later today in order to get her number. Me and her friend get along as well so I'm not entirely out of the question of her refusing to give her friend's number. Assuming she agrees to give away her friend's number I plan to call her and ask her out, I would much rather ask her in person but that's not an option.
Another suggestion would be to skip valentines day and try to get to know her a little more on the rare opportunities that we get to see each other. Haven't seen her since last sunday.
Thoughts? | Met this girl at work that I like, we have different schedules. Thinking about asking my coworker for the number of the girl that I like. Should I do it? Or should I skip valentines day? |
t3_3e1dcv | tifu | TIFU by not knowing how to prepare a shower | A few weeks ago, I had the lovely idea of taking my girlfriend out to a nice dinner after her shift at work. I told her she could come to my house, shower, change, and we could be on our way. Simple.
I get a giant, fuzzy towel and fold it nicely by the shower; I make sure the shower is stocked with some nice ocean breeze shampoo and some pink frosted animal cracker soap (from my personal collection (; ).
About half an hour later, she arrives and brings her clothes upstairs into the bathroom. I give her a quick tour of the amenities that I graciously provided, and then inform her that we have dinner reservations in one hour, so she mustn't dawdle (I know makeup takes some time too). She acknowledges this and I leave her be.
I wait for her in my bedroom, when from the bathroom I hear my girlfriend shout "HEY OP, CAN YOU GRAB ME SOME CONDITIONER??"
I grab some conditioner from the downstairs bathroom, run it upstairs, and open the door...to find her...**outside** the shower.
"BABE WE HAVE RESERVATIONS?! WHY AREN'T YOU SHOWERING?!"
"Relax! I am letting the water warm up!"
"Excuse me?..."
"Lol…um you know? You turn it on before you get in so it can get warm…"
"Whoa what?? Do other people do that?? I just climb in, pull the lever."
"But isn't it super cold for a minute??"
"Yeah, but that's the first part of the shower, aren't you supposed to do that?…"
"OP, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? LOL" | I didn't know that you can let a shower "warm up" before you step inside, so I am conditioned to take a full load of Santa's arctic spring water on my naked body every morning before it slowly warms up. |
t3_1wgz9u | relationships | [30F] My boyfriend [30M] is sick and refuses to see a doctor. What do I do? | My boyfriend and I have been together 18 months. We've lived together for 8 months. I love him, but he's been sick since September and won't stop coughing and won't see a doctor.
He has bad allergies and had childhood asthma. He has an allergist down in Dallas who treated him for it. He saw the allergist in October and got medicine that worked for a while, but then started right back up right after New Year's. Same symptoms (coughing, coughing, *coughing* so much he almost throws up; reduced stamina and energy; lack of sleep; crankiness) and everything. He called the doctor and got refills of his meds Monday (and he took them), but the coughing started again this morning.
He refuses to see a doctor about this. He has insurance. We have money to pay for it. I don't know why he's making this so difficult; it's not like he wins a medal for suffering. It's calling the damn doctor. It's what you *do* when you're sick and can afford treatment. You pick up the phone. You tap it with fingers until it makes beep-beep. The doctor calls in more scripts for steroids or inhalers or nasal spray. *You take them and feel better*.
Obviously talking to him like that isn't going to get him anywhere. But I don't know what else *to* say to him to get him to *call his damn doctor* and *just stop coughing*. Any advice? | Boyfriend has a chronic, painful cough, shortness of breath, lack of energy, loss of sleep, and bad mood. He won't talk to his doctor about it and won't get any more medicine. How to I talk sense into him? |
t3_eaaag | AskReddit | Does anyone out there actually work for the TSA? What's going on on the inside? How are you handling all of the backlash against you? I would just like to hear what's happening on the other side of this coin | So, while I am opposed to the new level of security theater, I would like to acknowledge that even the people at TSA are human and have to endure the act of repeatedly touching others in a way that is uncomfortable at best. Travelers who have been through the horror of being sexually assaulted in their past are justifiably uncomfortable with all of this. I am wondering how much mental anguish a TSA employee who has perhaps been through a sexual assault has to endure just to "do their job" ? How much pain they have to endure if they have to pat down a child, bringing up possible past painful memories, AND having others call them names such as pedophile, pervert, and so on.
I'll wager anything that to many TSA employees, these pat downs are psychologically damaging. Just as much as they are to those receiving this treatment.
Now, I realize that there are those who abuse their power trips, but I would be willing to guess that many of them hate this as much as most travelers do. | Just want to hear from those on the other side of this ridiculous security theater coin. Maybe we could all join forces and finally stop all of this (at the risk of sounding like an unintelligent hippie) |
t3_23r4rk | dating_advice | Me [18 M] met this awesome girl [18 F] a few days ago, we got fairly touchy-feely at a party, she started to ingnore me, and I'm not sure if I should ask her out. | Hey Reddit,
A good friend of mine from high school hosted a party last Friday night, and brought along a bunch of friends from his University that I hadn't met before. One of his friends took an interest in me, and we started talking to each other. As the night went on, both of us got a bit tipsy (5 drinks max), and started getting fairly touchy-feely with each other.
(I should mention one of my friends who doesn't drink, and would never lie to me, saw this girl tell a friend that she was interested in me.)
We were basically sitting down, cuddling with each other and holding hands saying stuff like "you're cute, you're beautiful, etc." with each other for a few hours. It was quite intimate. However, after a while, we drifted apart and began to socialise with others, and she started to ignore me.
Before we got to sleep, I asked her what all the behaviour earlier in the night was for, and she responded "Well, we were drunk." We didn't talk that much the next morning.
I'm wondering if asking her out for coffee would be a good idea. Part of me thinks its a bad idea and I should just let this go. | Met a girl at a party. We got fairly touchy-feely with each other, but I think she lost interest. Should I let this one go? |
t3_1gfede | running | Question about heel pain. | I recently got back into running after a 5 month break. I am by no means an expert runner, but I also do not consider myself a beginner. Prior to my break I was running regularly 4+ days a week and finished running a half marathon. When I started back into running about a month ago, I started off slow running 1-1.5 miles 3x a week. I am now back to running 3 miles 3+ days a week. However recently I noticed having some heel pain. The pain is not on the bottom of my heel, but on the sides of my right heel. The pain is not severe or sharp, but dull and tender to touch. Also it is always there even when I'm not running, and is actually somewhat alleviated after I run a little bit. This is only on my right heel. Any idea what could be causing this? Is it something I should be concerned about? Should i just keep going? I have been careful to not over train, and would like to avoid any injuries at this point as I am supposed to start marathon training next month for the New York City marathon. | dull pain on the sides of my right heel. |
t3_2n76ot | relationships | A few questions about proposing | I've decided that I (M,23) am going to propose to my SO (F,21) of seven years in April of next year. I've already got a pretty good idea of when, where, and how I will ask her. So with that all pretty much squared away, I'm trying to figure out when and in what order I should tell my family and when I should ask her family for their blessing. April is 5ish months away and I know I should probably wait a while to talk to her family about it. But when would be appropriate? Should I tell a few of her friends as the date gets closer? How many people should I tell about the proposal before I actually do it? I'm about to make the best decision of my life and I want it to go smoothly, so that is why I'm turning to you, my REDDIT compadres, for some answers to these questions and any other advice you may have. | need advice on when to ask SO's family for her hand in marriage |
t3_3ih5xu | tifu | TIFU by checking my phone just before going to bed | Hi reddit!! Happened about 15 minutes ago:D just cuddling into the sheets about to go to sleep when I get a text from my dad. I live abroad and the time difference is 8+ hours. He only ever texts when he wants to skype so I ask him if he wants to skype. It's almost midnight here at this point and I'm not in the mood for bs so when he doesn't reply I get annoyed because now I have to turn on my laptop that I had just shut down two minutes earlier. I go on skype. He's not online. No text yet. I'm practically fuming so I give up and turn off laptop. THEN, right after it's shut down he texts back saying he tried to skype but to no avail. F&)!@:!&;¥?!CK!!!! Are you fucking kidding me?? I turn into a crazy woman and slam my hand down on my laptop and throw the mouse against the table. And when I try to boot up my laptop again it stays black.. Oh shit.. Eventually I manage to turn it on but it won't boot normally and brings me to these scary text screens of death;_; so yeah.. I broke my $1500+ laptop (less than a year old) because I'm a big child..
I'm going to go to bed now...goodnight.. | I have fists of steel |
t3_3dabrz | relationships | Me [21 M] with my boyfriend of eight months[23 M]I'm going abroad for almost two years for university and would like to know the best way to end things amicably. | I've been with this guy since the start of the year. He's great, very smart, good sense of humour and we share a lot of similar tastes.
We started this relationship both knowing that I'd be going abroad in September and I'm sure I don't want to go down the whole LDR thing. I tried to bring it up when I was with him the other day but he was in such a good mood and we were having a great time that I didn't want to spoil everything. My family like him very much, though I have not met his yet, but I have met his large circle of friends many times.
How can I bring up the subject of us putting an end to our relationship and if he feels differently than I do regarding LDR how can I end our relationship amicably? | Going abroad for almost two years in Septmeber, looking for advice on how to end things sooner rather than later. |
t3_3iju90 | relationships | Me [25F] with my coworker [53F], she means a lot to me and I'm glad that she's in my life, but I know that we will eventually have to part ways. How do I make peace with this? | I have been working for this company for about a year and a half & in a small office environment. This coworker means a lot to me and is someone that I genuinely love. I do not have a lot of relatives that I'm particularly close to either because of age, distance, or different values, but me and this coworker connect, understand each other, care about each other, etc.. and they mean a lot to me.
We work in a small office environment and so she's seen me through a lot & we've had our ups and downs, but in the end, we still talk and care about each other. Aside from my mom, she's one of the few adults that I know in my life so it will feel like a big loss to me when I have to leave her as ridiculous as that may sound.
Normally I don't get attached because of how life works, I try to love people and treat people with kindness in the moment, be pleasant to spend time with, and that's about it. But, I just feel like it would hurt a lot to have to leave this person. I think they feel similarly with me because when my contract was coming to an end on multiple occasions, they wanted me to see if I could talk to my boss (they've been working there for a very long time) because they didn't want me to leave either...
But, I can't work there forever...so how do I make peace with the fact that she won't always be around? | Me [25F] with my coworker [53F], she means a lot to me and I'm glad that she's in my life, but I know that we will eventually have to part ways. How do I make peace with this? |
t3_2ngm3w | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Girlfriend [20 F] 2 Months, Long distance relationship Tips. | Hey /r/relationships,
I feel kinda like a wossy posting about this on Reddit because compared to all the like real bad stuff that is going on here mine is like a minor thing and it's a realy generall thing too.
Me and my Girlfriend have been in a Relationship for soon to be 2 Months. It's a long distance relationship. Luckily only like 3 Hours, driving but we both don't have a car so we if we get to meet only meet on weekends. If she comes to me only Saturday/Sunday because she can't drive after school Fridays to me and when we are at her place friday/saturday/sunday.
The Problem is, i can't seem to figure a way out to not die every night of lonlieness when i lie in my bed with the knowledge that i only see her on Weekends or when i know we don't see us that weekend.
Like who would have thought i would feeling lonelier in my bed then i was single.
We already exchanged clothes so we have something to cuddle with and like smell. But still it's always so hard.
So, i'm guessing i am not the only one that has that problem, any tips? Solutions ways? | Need tips how to deal with a long distance relationship, when being more the "close" type. |
t3_3o5knl | relationships | My [28M] wife [26F] says I don't really talk to her enough or think about the future. | So my wife has come to me several times and told me that she feels more like a live in nanny for our 4 month old son than my wife. She says that I never talk to her about anything meaningful including my life, work, plans, the future, etc. And she is right... Most of what I say to her is simply whatever I am thinking about at the moment, my brain is very response-based. If she asks me something, I will answer, but that's about it.
It's not that I don't want to talk to her, my brain just doesn't seem to work that way. I just don't ever think about the future. Or the past. Really my brain is 100% focused on the moment and she hates that I don't plan things for our family or talk to her about what's bothering me or ask her about her day.
I guess what I'm asking is: how do I change? I don't like being this way, I really wish I did think about the future. I would like to be able to make plans, think ahead, surprise her with things. What can I do to work on my mentality? Make lists? Set aside time daily to purposefully think about future plans? I feel like I need to change the way I think so that she gets the husband she deserves. | I want to work on being able to plan things for my family and have more meaningful conversations with my wife, how do? |
t3_2m0u4k | relationships | [22 /F] dumped by my _bf__ [25 M/] of 5 years, both our first relationship , how do you even move on? | Well today was the day I have dreaded for some time. My boyfriend and I broke up weeks shy of our 5 year anniversary. I am still in love with him, but he says that he isn't IN love with me, but loves me and is still my friend. We both knew that over the years our interests diverged a bit and to him he admitted today that he only saw us growing father apart in the future. He most importantly needs space to get his shit together ( 25 still living at home going to community college and kinda directionless). While I can see where he is coming from, I feel utterly broken and devastated.
This is somebody I could see a future with, kids and all. I am still stupidly in love with him and this all hurts so much . One big reason he didnt see a future with me is that our interests diverge( I am passionate about social justice and education). More so that I am so preoccupied with responsibilities of keeping a roof over my head and putting my self through university that I lack time for seriously developing other interests and hobbies that he himself is serious about ( art, music, comedy) .
I am just seeking what to do with myself next. I have few friendships right now and feel pretty isolated and shy. I feel like I need to start my life over again, he's been my world since I was 17 and without him everything feels like its collapsing. | Ended first relationship of 5 years , I'm still in love with him, how do I even start to pull myself out of this darkness? |
t3_14031y | BreakUps | After 6 weeks, talked to my ex that cheated. Couldn't have gone worse... | I've been a lurker here for a while, but I'm feeling pretty upset right now and needed a place to rant.
Six weeks ago, my ex told me that she had cheated on me while we had been on a 2 week "break" (we agreed no other people during that time). When she told me, I was pretty devastated, and for good reason I felt very betrayed. However, she apologized profusely, told me she regretted hurting me, and that she was so sorry. I didn't want to get back with her or anything, but I felt like it had just been a mistake and I didn't feel all that negatively toward her.
Fast forward to last night, I decided we should talk since we'd be seeing each other this weekend at an event. It seemed to be going great, we were just talking and catching up. Then, it came up that she was flying overseas to go visit the guy she cheated with (he moved away recently). Apparently, they're in some kind of long distance relationship and now she's going to visit him. It really re-opened the wounds and now I feel fucking angry at her and at everything. I want to tell her off, yell at her, and show her how much she hurt me. | GF of 3 years cheated, now she's with the guy and I just found out |
t3_ubl23 | AskReddit | Sick of pain, not sure what to do. | I will try and make this as short as I can. I am 28 years old, I was diagnosed with a degenerative condition that affects both of my hips (Avascular Necrosis). My left actually got bad enough I needed a total hip replacement in February. Since then I got better for about two weeks and then the pain was back, I went back to work at a cubicle farm for 3 days and then had to turn around and miss another couple weeks, went back for half a day and that was all I could handle, that was two weeks ago.
Fortunately the pain is not constant, but it gets worse the more I move around and walk down stairs etc. I am on Vicodin but I have to be pretty high for the pain to go away. My doctors say that it is just muscle damage and that it will just take time and physical therapy. I have been going religiously and it really isn't helping as much as even the therapist would like.
Tomorrow my ADA exception for work runs out, and if I miss any more work I will be terminated, part of me thinks that I need a change and that leaving this place of work may help me through my depression.
I live everyday scared of my pain and I don't know whether to push myself to get past it and possible cause more damage, or to rest and heal so that I can be better in the long run. | Been living in pain for a couple years, supposed to be fixed, it's not, unsure what to do. |
t3_11ii3d | relationships | I'm [24f] and I have no idea what I'm doing in a relationship | I just got into my first relationship after being single for 6 years with an awesome guy [27m]. We've been together for a month now and things are going good. However, I always feel like I have no idea what i'm doing. The last time I was in a relationship was in High School. Now I'm out of college and in my first 'real' relationship. Also, since I've matured since high school, I'm having a hard time taking what I learned from my older relationships and applying it to my current one. (I was really clingy when I was younger.)
Some examples is I have a hard time initiating anything. Cuddling, hugging, kissing, and sex. I am always really unsure of myself. Also my big problem is him paying for me. Half of me thinks it's awesome because I am low on money currently. The other part feels guilty he is paying for me and I always end up fighting him on it. (And then I feel awkward.) I have paid for him a few times also to try and even things out. (In other words, I got my credit card out faster, haha.)
So yeah, any advice would be awesome. | I'm in a relationship and I have no idea what i'm doing. |
t3_13xyta | relationship_advice | [18/M] myself and my girlfriend[18/F] I feel confused and don't know what to do. | I have been dating my gf for around a two and a half years and something strange seems to be happening. I sometimes wish I were single, like I don't see eye to eye to my gf sometimes and want it to end, at the same time I don't think my gf would take it easily in the least bit, she isn't as mature to deal with it (We are both 18).
Although sometimes I miss my gf. It's a lot of mixed feelings i've never dealt with and to be honest I haven't the slightest clue what to do. She talks about us being together forever, implying by saying "when we move in together" and that stuff.
Any advice to a relationship novice? This has been happening for a two/three months now.
Thanks in advance, will keep posted. | at times i feel i want to be single, but at times i still enjoy it. |
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