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t3_4brohi | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] of seven months, and I have no idea how to break up with her. | So it's been seven months with my girlfriend, and they've been going alright. For most of that time, she's been out of state and very far, and I've been seeing her once a month. The long distance is kicking my ass and after three LDRs I am really exhausted about continuing on. I've lost attraction, essentially, and I'm thinking about breaking up.
There are a couple caveats though. She loves me( i do not), and she has anxiety that surfaces up easily. It's one thing to break up at the infatuation stage but once there's love it makes it a bit harder, i suppose. I also want to figure out a way to ease her into it and not have her be so anxious (it's inevitable but the less the better). It's going to be bad, but I just want us to come to a peaceful end in the best way possible. | I don't know how to go about breaking up with my girlfriend cause of her anxiety and love for me. |
t3_1mk5ry | relationships | Me M[28] with my GF [27] of 5 months, beginning to question things | So I've been in this relationship for 5 months, about 2 and a half of them have been long distance. The only relevant thing leading up to this relationship is that it's the first serious relationship that I've had, and aside from a few small issues that I had with myself at the start of the relationship, things have been good.
We've talked a lot about expectations and what we both want out of this relationship, and she's told me that she sees herself marrying me and I've said the same thing. However I find myself questioning now whether this is what I really want. I feel like I've missed an entire part of my life in that this is the first relationship I've had and am already looking at marriage. A part of me thinks that I'm missing some big part of life by having skipped over basically the entire dating scene. I've never been one to party, but I feel like I'm not sure if this is the woman I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with because she's the only woman I've ever been with.
Recently some issues have arose that have made me question this even more. We've talked about them but she's lied to me about them and has been dishonest about things she's done which makes it harder for me to trust her and makes me wonder if I'm getting in over my head.
At the end of the year she wants me to move in with her and I'm basically putting my potential future at risk to come and do this. I'm not sure what the right course of action is; if I'm giving up too much for someone I'm not really sure I'm in love with? I just don't know what to think or do right now. | long distance problems, getting in over my head changing my life for them. wat do |
t3_dara4 | AskReddit | What AT&T phone should people buy? What non-smartphone is an acceptable device? | I am a student, so I don't want or need to pay for $15/month or more for data. So iPhones or any other smartphones are out. I'm going to be buying a refurb or used ebay phone and I have a year left in my plan. I just lost my cellphone.
All I want is a phone that texts and calls well. Preferrably with a Qwerty keyboard, even if it's virtual. One feature that seems unbelievably rare in non-smartphones with AT&T is the grouping of sent and received messages, sorted date and time, divided by contact. It seems like such a simple piece of code to write.
It just seems that every AT&T phone that's not a smartphone is such crap. Either it takes five clicks to get to composing a new text message (even though there's a shortcut for watching live television on the homescreen), or it takes five minutes after you get the text message ring in order to actually receive the text, or some other problem that shows so much time was invested in trying to sell me services I don't need that they couldn't design the UI to make the services I'm paying for livable. I would say this is the case for the LG VU, Samsung Solstice and Samsung Impression, which I have used extensively. I'm tired of bad phones. Please help. Thanks Guys! | Recommend a phone on AT&T for me to buy used. Can't be a smartphone, just one that texts well and has a reasonable interface. I don't need internet playthings, and I want QWERTY, whether virtual or physical. |
t3_2sgiki | relationships | Me[24/M] and my girlfriend[23/F] took a break on the relationship to think about us. | I sent her a message the day after she went to her mother's house telling her that I would give her space and I wouldn't message her in our break so she and I could think about our future. She is coming back next week and I really want to work things out with her but I don't want to pressure her into a decision.
We didn't talk for 10 days, and she is coming back next week. Should I message her to ask where we will met to talk(we combined that we would talk as soon as she come back) or should I wait for her to ask? Can I surprise her at the airport? Give her flowers? What is the best thing to do? | We took a time in our relationship to think about us, what to do when she comes back? |
t3_50nsn7 | relationships | My[33F] best friend[31F] is lying to the guy she is seeing[30sM] and I want to tell him. | So long story short my friend used to be married to a real asshole and she stuck it out way longer than she should have. During the breakdown of her marriage she met another guy and they started as friends but pretty quickly she let it slip she was having feelings for this guy. She finally filed for divorce, and then her and the new guy started dating officially. But the new guy doesn't know that she was married when they first met – she told him she was already divorced. When in truth, the papers weren't filed until after her and the guy were dating, she was only separated.
This guy is really sweet, and I know that I would not be able to forgive a person who lied about that. I have asked my friend and all she says is it's her decision and she isn't sure she's serious with this guy and she sort of insinuates it's none of my business. But it is. This is going to be my best friend's boyfriend and so part of my life, and I feel he should know. And I think what she's doing to him is plain wrong and I can't imagine sitting in a room with them knowing what I know, when he doesn't. | My best friend is lying to her new guy and I think it's wrong; should I tell him and how do I tell him? |
t3_367xbc | tifu | TIFU by not tipping the cute delivery girl | This happen to me about 6 hours ago.
Im am the type of person that doesnt order food that many times. There arent that many places near me, basically there are only pizza delivery places. Also i dont have any female friends and only a handful of male friends, but im really confident (i like to describe myself as just really unlucky when it comes to these things).
Today i randomly decided to order a pizza. Last time i had to wait for quite a while, but today my door bell rang within 30 minutes after ordering it. Great! Im super happy to welcome my delicious pizza in my home.
I live on the second floor so when people come up the stairs they are facing away from me. Up comes this girl with a ponytail in her working clothes, after i actually looked her in the eyes she kinda blushed (i think), and she seemed really nervous. I know that feeling when you are new to a job and you are really insecure.
She hands me the pizza so she got her hands free to give me my change. She is digging in her wallet trying to find the proper change. She gave me the wrong change at one point which i hand her back instantly. She was really cute in the way and me being really polite.
I wish her a good night and she leaves.
And then it hit me: I didnt tip her. I felt so bad. I know what it feels like when not getting tipped and sometimes it really sucks.
While i try to enjoy my pizza i ask a few people if i shouldve tipped her or not, i mean she was really good looking and i assume she must get a lot of tips by other guys on this weekend. This was my excuse in my head afterwards to make me feel better but i really regret not tipping her. Most of the people who answered me told me i shouldve tipped her. One person tho gave me an idea: Why not order again in one week and see if she comes around again. This might be a creepy way to get to know someone but it might work.
I hope there are some people who actually still tip people because where i live its actually somewhat rare. | Forgot to tip a really cute girl, felt bad afterwards for the whole night |
t3_2jkc9y | jobs | Missed a potential job offer call earlier today. Already called and left a message hours ago. No call back yet. What do I do? | I had an interview yesterday and they told me they'd update me by the end of the day today. I got a call from an out of state number before my lunch around 11:25 am that I couldn't answer. The interviewer left a voicemail saying to call her back when I had a chance. I called back about 25 minutes later saying sorry for missing her again and to give me a call when she could as well. It's been nearly 5 hours since then and it's almost 5 pm here. Is it OK for me to call again before the end of the day? | Missed call with update about a job I interviewed for. Returned call and left a message. No word back after 5 hours. Should I call again? |
t3_yh0yg | BreakUps | Does anyone have any GOOD experiences after being broken up with; with SO wanting to stay friends? | I'm[22m] just curious, I'm kind of in the end-zone of healing from a break-up (which you can find in my posts, if you're curious)... she[19f] left me for the sake of wanting to spend more time with her friends (reasonable, considering the school load + work + co-op coming for her... or straight up lie, who the hell knows).
I've only had brutal past relationship break-ups that resulted in me being angry for about 2 months, then spiraling out into self-hatred, alcohol then a good depression (good times, sigh). This time was different...
We've been NC for roughly 3 weeks+ now and I've been fighting every urge to message her.
Have any of you waited about a month+ after a similar break-up situation to try and start a friendship? If so, were you fooling yourself into trying to not fall for your ex-SO again? | I've never had a healthy break-up until this one and just ended up rage-NCing previous girls, burning the fucking bridge. I can't help but wonder if she's worth keeping as a friend? |
t3_2fsm6f | relationships | Insecure about my boyfriend (25M) being more attractive than me (23F)! | My boyfriend (25M) and I (23F) have been together for a year, and have lived together for about 9 months of that year. However, we've been involved sexually for three years. We went from FWB to dating and wound up in a relationship last year. I know that seems kinda soon to move in with each other, but he's my best friend and we love each other, and our relationship is generally really wonderful.
One thing does make me insecure: my bf is way more attractive than I am. I'm cute, not hot or pretty but definitely cute. My bf is very handsome and tall, and receives a lot of attention from other girls. Often right in front of me. He's really great about making me feel attractive mentally and physically, but I can't help but feel insecure when we're in public together. Like people are thinking, how did she get him? (Honestly, what got him were my boobs. I have big DDs. He said what made him stay was my personality.)
His two exes are also super good looking, with one being a model and the other getting invited to parties on famous people's yachts.
My problem is not with him, it's with myself! How do remind myself that he loves me beyond my looks? And to not be insecure when other girls hit on him? | My bf is more attractive than me and it makes me insecure. Help please! |
t3_45v72r | relationships | Me [27 M] with my girl I have been seeing [26 F] 3 weeks, break up in person? | To start: I am vehemently against text breakups, and would prefer to be able to break up in person. The issue is that right now, the girl I am seeing lives on the opposite side of a city where few have cars and it's a pain/expensive to get across. When we see each other, we tend to stay over, and have sex every time. I'm just ready to end things as I don't see them going anywhere. How do I broach the subject? Do I try and schedule something at a neutral site (we don't really have one of those, have spent nearly all our time nearby one of our apartments)? Would it be better to do it over the phone? | First experience where non-in person breakup might be better for all, sort of confused if that's possible? |
t3_1g8d9f | relationships | My mom [58F] is secretly trying to separate me [17M] from my girlfriend [17F]? | So I've only been in a relationship with my girlfriend for only about 3 months or so, and my mom always hates it when I go to my gf's house or vice versa. She has said before that she doesn't want me in a relationship because my grades will suffer (I got a 4.0 for both semesters of my senior year in high school while I was in a relationship with her so that isn't a valid concern).
Just today, I overheard her talking to my dad [47M] that my girlfriend is ruining my life and that I need to be separated from her. My dad, who is pretty chill with everything, didn't say anything. Neither of my parents knew I was listening to them. I haven't said anything to either of my parents, and don't know what to say/do. | Mom is trying to separate me from my girlfriend. What should I say to my mom?. |
t3_263f7y | relationships | I [15/m], quit smoking marijuana for my [14/f] girlfriend. Cravings are starting to get back at me. | So a few months ago, I had to quit smoking weed for my girlfriend. She is young, and goes with the "weed is gross, and for scumbags" opposition. We fought about it for so long, and I even lied about smoking once and fucked our trust up for a long time. I have been strong about quitting, because I really love her. But I am REALLY starting to miss smoking. I know for a fact that talking to her about it isn't even a viable option; it will only piss her off and make more fights. I feel like after a while, I may ignore my morals and end up smoking again, even though I know how stupid of an idea it would be.
This quitting has only effected me in bad ways so far, I mean yeah I have my girl back, but I've become a borderline alcoholic. And I've been wanting to experiment with other drugs. I have been so desperate to catch a buzz, that I steal some alcohol from the kitchen, or try and find other shit around the house to hit on. It's really pathetic... I just want my weed back. If you're offended by marijuana use, please don't even bother posting about "how idiotic I am," I will not even think about what you have to say. Thanks. | Quit smoking awhile ago for girlfriend, want to resume it somehow. |
t3_23o6gv | relationships | Me [20 M] with my friend [20 F]. Do I give time? | So recently I've been falling for one of my very good friends. I haven't connected with a girl like this before. She recently got out of a long term relationship however. We drunkenly made out about a week ago and she said it felt weird after being in a relationship so long. I discussed the idea of us and she said wait a few days to give her time to think.
So we meet up a few days later to discuss things. Chatting to her was as awesome as ever but when it turned to us it turned very awkward. She basically said we go back to college in a week, lets wait until summer (a month or so).
At the time I agreed. Maybe she still needs time after breaking up with her boyfriend. But since then I've been thinking, I'm basically waiting for this girl with no idea if she's interested or not. I can't stop thinking about her and if she goes off to college and comes back with another guy it would crush me. I'd rather she tell me now whether anything could happen so I can move on if necessary.
So my question is, do I ask her outright now or do I give her time to process everything and get over her bf? | Long term friend suggests waiting over a relationship with me. Can't tell if she needs time or is just putting off a rejection |
t3_364ho6 | relationships | I don't know where to go with this relationship, and i don't want to screw up a friendship | I work with a girl, she just turned 24 not to long ago, and i m 20, soon to be 21. We hangout together all the time and we have been on multiple unofficial dates (hangout, i buy dinner, watch movies) except because we work together and have known each other for a while i don't want to screw up the relationship! we have talked about going on a vacation and concerts, and I am not sure how to find out what she thinks about this relationship.. I plan on cooking dinner for her soon, just the two of us, at my place, what would be the best way to either make a move or approach this in conversation without screwing over the entire relationship, if we are not dating, i still want to be friends. | A girl [24F] that I [20M] am friends with is giving some signs of liking me but we also work together and i want to see if she likes me without screwing up the relationship we currently have. |
t3_2szlr3 | relationships | I [23 M] got recently broken up with by GF [21 F] and am struggling | I know some of of you may read the title and go, 7 months? Try 5 years kid! But truth be told is that I loved this girl so dearly. She loved me back. It's just the balance with a serious relationship weighed on her, and with school, friends, etc. it was just too much for her. At least that's what she told me.
I am also feeling some guilt myself, that my insecurities and anxieties could have led to this. We didn't hang out with her side of friends that much, which is why she requested this time spread out. I couldn't help it, my insecurities were so deep I was scared her friends would be like, oh god that's the guy she chose. And it kills me now saying this, because I should've done what was right and not give into the fear. But she assured me that she didn't hold me accountable for this.
Before present day now, she was on a long break. Part of me thinks this time away she rekindled this idea of being free and not being tied down in a relationship. Who knows, she told me how she felt and that's what's on the table.
It sucks. It truly does. But I guess moping about it all day isn't going to solve much. I have to be my own person, and I'll try to be as supportive as I can to her. | gf of 7 months ended it with me, needed a rebalance in life, wasn't ready for a serious relationship. i'm bummin. |
t3_36q1ev | relationships | Me [18 M] with my GF [19 F] of 10 months, she has sexted other guys before but we fixed that and since we live in different states and she still talks to the kid I dont know what to think? | Ok so my GF cheated on me in late March which was seven months into the relationship. Actually she had been the whole time. From what I could tell she only texted these guys things. Not pictures I am pretty sure but she did snap a lot of them. We were at college at this point and we spent most of the day together. And when I did finally catch her she was really sorry and it seemed heartfelt. She deleted Tinder and Kik and said she wouldn't do it anymore. But the two kids who she really did it most with have her number and they are best friends on snapchat. And she still texts them often basically everyday.
Now it is summer and we live in different states. And I am worried that she will do it again. What do I do to A stop worring about this and B prevent this from happening or C find out what is going on. I really like this girl and she tells me that she wants to marry me and have my kids, but still. I know she has cheated on other BF before me and those have been physically, and I also know she cheated on me.
I really dont know what to do.
I know she talks to them and I know she snaps a lot but how do I know whats going on. | How to not worry about long distance relationship and how to stop her from cheating and how to know if she is. |
t3_245wrl | offmychest | I'm going to quit my job this week. | So as the title say's i'm going to quit my job .The same job I have been working since November of last year. There are a number of reasons i'm quitting and the thought of not going back makes me feel relaxed and happy. Though the cash is nice to have (even though I get payed so little) and the amount of days off I get is awful (there going on vacation for 3 months) so that means no work/money.
I have learned a lot from this job and I have grown from it. It has taught me how to adapt into situations that I have never been into before and even when I'm really nervous I can put myself together and has gotten me some great references for when i'm looking for work.
But also one of the biggest reasons I'm leaving is because I think the admins are weak and have no backbone. They let everyone walk all over them. They are nice and such but really I don't think they do a great job. I have been told many times that I am great at my job and have gotten calls from the higher ups that they are happy with my performance which is great. | Going to apply at TACO BELL. |
t3_2go9tv | relationships | My (23F) significant other of 4 years (23M) told me that he wants an open relationship. | Since the start of our relationship, I knew that my boyfriend and I were committed to being in a monogamous relationship. We both have some trust issues stemming from being cheated on in previous relationships and we both agreed that we would never cheat. A couple months ago he broke the news that he loves me unconditionally and still wants to be with me long-term (we've discussed marriage and we already live together) but he has an overwhelming need to have sex with other women.
This threw me for a complete loop and I told him I needed some time to digest this. I thought about it for days and days and weighed the pros and cons. During this time I found out that he had always had these feelings while he was in relationships and he had never acted on them, he wanted to clear this with me first and see what I thought, there wasn't a specific girl he had in mind, and he still wanted to be with me forever.
After this, I find out he's been talking to an old female friend for a while and he finally comes clean and tells me that he's hoping that she'll become his FWB. Now, I'm not even sure if I can handle the idea of sharing my bf and I really dislike this woman (she's a druggie and I'm really worried that she'll pull him down with her) so I don't know what to do. | My long-term SO wants to start a FWB relationship with someone I dislike and I just want some feedback. |
t3_2nvxoj | relationships | I [23 F] found some underage pictures on boyfriend's [26 M] [6 yrs] computer, not sure how to feel about it. | So my boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years now, been living together for almost 4. I admit to having trust issues from things he's done in the past. I used to snoop through his computer/phone a lot and just get upset because I'd always find something. (About 6 months after he moved in with me I caught him texting half naked pictures back and forth with an old female friend he knew from high school, which sort of explains my trust issues.) I quit snooping for the most part the last year since I know he knows how to hide it anyway (terrible reason I know) and I've finally come to accept that him looking at porn is fine and has nothing to do with me being good enough for him. Ridiculous shit, I know.
So anyways, to my point. I recently found a bunch of underage pictures on his computer and I find it pretty disturbing. They weren't fully naked, but in like revealing bikinis and ballet outfits, like 11-15 year old girls (just guessing an age range, definitely prepubescent though). He obviously didn't take them, but this is the first time I've found anything like this and I feel like wanting to download stuff like this isn't okay. I deleted them, but I don't know if I should say something to him about it.
I know he won't bring it up to me even if he knows I saw them. I've just been trying to act like I'm not upset, I didn't want to bring it up to him right before Thanksgiving and fuck up our trip we had planned. I get that some people have kinky fetishes or whatever but I just find this to be creepy and a big turn off.
Why would I want to have a daughter with someone who gets off to this sort of thing? I'm just curious if this is more normal than I think / am I over-reacting? Should I let it go? or is it worth bringing it up and get into a fight about it because I know I'll be in the wrong for snooping in the first place. | Found some underage pictures on boyfriends computer. I feel really weirded out by it, not sure what to do or how I should bring it up. |
t3_fi5u6 | AskReddit | Going in to negotiate for my first "executive" position... what should I ask for? | A 10 month-old start-up is looking at bringing me on as "Director of IT", aka "The only geek on staff". I've developed several programs for them already (for which I need to [figure out the license](
To come on board, I'm giving up a -really- sweet gig teaching at a private university. For a while at least, the pay will be lower than teaching and I'll be working crazy hours in "start-up mode". My concern is that one of the partners is notoriously tight-fisted, and after I do a bunch of development work he may look at me and decide I'm too expensive to keep on staff.
What kind of arrangements do people put into contracts for situations like this? "You can't fire me without cause" seems ineffective, and wouldn't work in my state anyways. "If I leave, I take everything I developed with me" would rock, but they'd be idiots to sign it.
Maybe some kind of equity arrangement with a vesting schedule? I doubt they're in the mood to part with any of the company, but is there a way to put a lock on future revenues as long as they use my systems? | I'm terrified that I'm about to put a ton of hours into a new job and get sacked as soon as all their systems work. Help? |
t3_2a7s06 | relationships | Should I (F 24) break up with my partner (M 22) of 3 years because over the last 6 months he has acted violently towards me? | Today we were having an argument. I was yelling and he forcefully pushed me in the stomach. Not enough to put me on the floor but enough to make me stop arguing and cry.
Last month he was extremely drunk, when I suggested we leave he shoved me in the chest in front of his friend.
Earlier in the year he headbutted me to end another argument - which had me in tears with a terrible margarine.
These are three incidents over what has been a 3 year happy non-violent r/ship. Afterwards he always apologizes and says it won't happen again.
Should I stay with him or are things only going to gt worse? | Is it valid to end a 3 year relationship because recently my partner becomes somewhat violent when we are arguing/disagreeing? |
t3_3j6hb2 | relationships | Advice ending a romantic relationship | Hi Redditors
Need some advice ending a four-month relationship. This is a first for me after a 20+ year relationship ended in divorce last year.
The person I started dating is a hoarder and spends money like the world is ending. The front door barely opens, I couldn't find a place to sit a glass down (dining room table, end table, veranda, counters and kitchen island already full of stuff) and you have to walk sideways to fit past stacks of stuff. And there's always more stuff coming in — replacing things just disposed of. It's very overwhelming and most weekends have several hours of moving stuff out to get rid of it and unboxing new stuff. A while back I saw the stash of anti-anxiety drugs and sleep aids — all prescription.
I'm the exact opposite. Buying and hoarding is how this person copes and if that works who am I to judge? But I know this won't work with me. I'm independent, successful and travel. I like to move around and not be tied to stuff and contracts (hair dresser, chiropractor, massage therapist are all paid in advance for their services).
I mentioned this softly — saying we're spending our time moving stuff out to make room the week's purchases and it didn't go over well. I make her laugh all the time and cracked a joke about it, but it clearly is a sore spot with this person. A $500 household appliance was sold for $20 and then replaced with anothwr $500 appliance to replace it. On the credit card because there is no cash available.
My question: how honest do I be when calling this thing off? There is obviously some serious emotional stuff going on here so I don't want to needlessly cause pain. But I owe it to this person to be honest. They may be fine where they are in life, but it won't work for me. | Looking for advice on being honest when I end a relationship with a hoarder with anxiety issues. |
t3_1u3jmi | personalfinance | College student (18) moving out and becoming financially independent by summer 2014. Where do I start? | I wish I could say it was by choice, but either way, I have to get something figured out. I grew up in an abusive household, an environment I'm still in, but it has been decided for me that I need to leave.
I'm looking to be going to UCF or Valencia College in Orlando, and will start saving up now to move out there. I have about $500 in savings, and I work 30 hours a week at $10/hr. I have a family member who has offered to help by sending a little bit money monthly to help me get on my feet.
Very soon I will have to pay $250/mo for car insurance, and $65 for phone (will most likely change plans from family). I am most likely going to take a second job alongside going to school full time for the spring semester in order to help expedite the process.
My first step will be to open a savings and checkings that is out of my parents' reach (my mother cosigned on my current checkings, and regularly takes money out). Any advice which bank?
And any advice on how to handle the situation will be greatly appreciated. | 6 months to become financially independent and move to Orlando to continue school. Advice/direction needed. Also, any advice on schooling (scholarships, grants I could use, ect.) would be great as well. |
t3_2z01ln | tifu | TIFU by being greedy | This actually happened 30 minutes ago.
I'm a (cigarettes) smoker and live in a country where cigarettes are expensive as hell. As I often travel to Asia for business I often bring back a few cartons (allowance is one). Since I'm the business travel type of suit-wearing dude I never get checked at border control so this has become a habit.
Until today, that is. So I land after a hemorrhoid-inducing 13 hour flight and hurry to grab by bag so I can go have a smoke. On to the belt where I see my luggage arriving and immediately notice a large crack in the casing.
So I go to the baggage investigations desk and file a complaint. In order to do this however I have to pass next to the border control.
At the baggage desk we fill out all forms and they take me to a back room where I can take a new trolley. I give the girl there my nicest smile and am very polite so she offers me any trolley I like from the same brand. Even though they have my exact model, I choose a classier one which also happens to be bigger. After all, size matters. I quickly move my sh!t from the old trolley to the new one, manage to also fit my laptop bag in and leave.
This is where the FU happens. When passing border control again, I get immediately pulled aside as they noticed my different bag. I show them the papers from the baggage desk but they decide to search my bag anyway.
Had 3 cartons, 2 got confiscated and had to pay a fine. Fuck you, karma. | brought more smokes than allowed, 2/3 got confiscated and I got fined for being greedy when choosing a replacement trolley for damaged one. |
t3_350ebk | personalfinance | I'm not sure I can afford rent where I live | So I'm currently living in the Northeast, near Boston. I'm a disabled vet using the vocational rehab program to go to school, this means I get about $2400 a month during the school year for housing, plus $800 a month for disability and about $1000 from working my part time job. During the summer/winter breaks I make $1800 from working and disability. I have ~$7000 in the bank and no debt.
I just had a really negative experience with a roommate I met on craigslist, where he stopped paying rent and started hiding eviction notices. I found out when we got the notice of possession. I wasn't on the lease, and paid him directly. This was dumb.
Anyway, I moved back into my parents house, but they are moving down south in 3 weeks and I need to stay up here for my work/doctors/school. I started looking for apartments for myself, but the cheapest apartments I can find (that aren't in terrible neighbourhoods) are $1250 a month with no utilities included. I'm not sure I can afford this, or if this is reasonable.
What should I do? I have some family I can stay with for the next month or two, but I'm still not sure how to resolve this problem. Should I just suck it up and pay the $1250 for a 1 bedroom? My only bills for the moment include car insurance for $100/month, and $20/month for my cell phone. | Make $4200 a month during the school year, $1800 a month during the summer/winter breaks. Cheapest apartments where I am are $1250 a month. I'm hesitant to find a roommate on craigslist again due to a bad experience. |
t3_1odl32 | AskReddit | Why is it called the Middle East? | Iran, Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Turkmenistan, Turkey, Jordan, Israel, Palestine, Egypt, Oman, Yemen, UAE, Qatar, etc.
All countries above are apart of the Middle East, a part of Asia which is located in the Eastern Hemisphere. Now, why is it called that/is it an oxymoron?
If we apply the ME to the EH, than geographically it would be incorrect. Asia starts at Russia/Turkey, and extends all the way to Japan and Indonesia. The borders of the Middle East are Turkey - Afghanistan. Neither start or end are "middle" of the EH. 'Middle of the EH' would be more suited for India, Nepal, Vietnam, Cambodia, etc.
And even as words, Middle East sounds like an oxymoron. How can something be middle, but also east? It would be like calling Spain "Eastern West". | why is it called the Middle East when not only is it not 'middle of the eastern hemisphere' but also an oxymoron? |
t3_3lrecl | relationships | Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] of two years broke up with me because I gave him too much space? | My ex boyfriend [24 M] of two years broke up with this week apperently because I [23 F] gave him too much space.. Now I am a busy body. I work three jobs and and go to school full time. I spent as much time with him as I could. The past three weeks have been much worse than other weeks and that where he said he lost feelings.
Now I tried getting to the bottom of all this in doing so I also figured out he was twenty steps ahead of himself. He is worried about all these hypothetical future things that are no where even things I am considering. Like moving for my future career. Which might not happen. He was lacking in communicating with me and I didn't recognize it.
After talking to him about all these issues we are in a sort of better place, but he mentioned that he wants space to miss me? Thats what got our relationship in trouble in the first place.
Do I give him space and try to work this out? Or leave this relationship? | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_2w41bj | running | Was this a jerk move? | I was running 12 miles with a pack of 5 over the weekend as part of a club training program. We are all in the same pace group and we were supposed to run the same moderate pace throughout. By that I mean the program head recommended a pace and advises us not to go faster to not hurt ourselves, but I usually don't listen if I'm feeling good that day (yeah I know, I should listen). So, after the turn-around point, I was feeling really good so I broke off from the group and ran ahead the remaining 6 miles at a much faster pace. My question: is it a jerk move to break off from a group of people and run ahead?
Background info: I only knew 1 guy in the group (acquaintances - the rest I had never met before) and he seemed fine staying with those people.
In retrospect, I guess the correct protocol is:
1) Ask the people I am running with if they want to go faster with me (I couldn't do it in this case cuz they were supposed to be running that pace)
2) If the answer is no, ask them if its ok if I break away
3) If the answer is no, then stay with them. (Understandable in creepy, unknown places). If the answer is yes, then fly away.
Excuse all the rambling. | Do you guys ever break away from your running buddies? (Assuming your running abilities are the around the same) Do they understand? |
t3_10lesc | AskReddit | Reddit, advise my female friend on how to ask out her male crush. | Ok she's not listening to my advice so I will lay out an abridged version of the situation. Hopefully, you guys can convince her to try to ask out her crush. Also, if you have relevant stories that would be great. I made this a throwaway because I don't want her to see how often I visit gonewild.
* My friend and her crush are in their mid twenties.
* She has not had a crush since college.
* They met in April at school.
* He asked her out and she gave him her number.
* They went out a few times throughout April/May (both busy with gradschool so dating time was limited. Same university but different programs)
* Saw each other 3 times over the summer. Including a fun night dancing one on one.
* Then he disappeared -- no contact for a month. His excuse was he was busy in-and-out of town.
* After a month he asked her to dinner with him and a friend. (She refused)
* Then he told her he wanted to take a walk with her (She refused. Yeah. She acts weird when she likes someone)
* Several weeks later he asked her if she ever had time for a dating life (or something along these lines). She replied "no" because she "hates everyone."
*
My friend is actually very amicable, very pretty, intelligent and despite what you've read, not a social retard. She added this dude to gchat recently and is waiting for him to IM her. Ugh.
**My advice:** I said just ask him if he wants to go out on a date. (I'm a straight male.) She doesn't want her ego bruised and only wants to do it if she's sure he's going to say yes.
Help her out here Reddit. What should she do? **I am going to ninja kick her. | Female friend refuses to ask out male crush because she doesn't want to get rejected. |
t3_1f0uh7 | Pets | Stray Kitten at Home. Want to Adopt. Need help. | Y'see, there's this cute tiny stray kitten at home. She likes to stay under my mom's ice cream freezer. Mom doesn't like her under there. Another problem is that there's one other adult stray cat - I once gave a fish head to the kitten and the older cat wanted to get it. I was there while the kitten was eating so I made the big cat go away. And mom has a big dog who tends to be quite the jealous type (so my that she was actually biting her puppies, but that's another story) I want to take the kitten up to my room but I can't have her running around the place. I have random food and who knows how many tiny sharp things. Can I just have her inside a huge box? I know she'll eventually learn to jump out or claw out, but maybe by then I have cleaned my room and she has learned to use the litterbox. | stray kitten, need to relocate cat, but need to confine cat to tiny space. and how do i train her to use a litterbox? |
t3_3zuwh4 | relationships | I (25/F) am selfish in bed...but only when I sleep. | Relationships, I have a weird dilemma on my hands, that is 25 years in the making.
I am an asshole in bed. The queen of assholes. It all started when I was a kid, about 7 years old and 40lbs soaking wet. My mom never liked sharing a bed with me because of all my flailing/moving around/blanket hogging. I thought I was well past this, but my current partner has informed me that this is not the case.
My partner is a cuddler in bed; I am not. I can't sleep with someone holding on to me. I wake up pretty frequently to him snuggling me, and it generally results in me tossing and turning a lot throughout the night. On top of that, I had a very embarassing (yet somewhat hilarious) incident happen last week involving this.
I went to bed early before him. I remember waking up to him trying to cuddle me, and me going "Nooooooooooo". Think of the "Stuart" voice from MadTV in the 90s. He told me I also said "no snuggles!", and that I then "fought" with him over the comforter by holding on to one corner for dear life as he tried to tuck himself in. I woke up later on to him curled up with another comforter, and me hoarding/wrapped like a burrito in the oversized comforter intended for the two of us. Me (not knowing what had happened), tucked him back in, and went back to sleep.
Is there anything I can do in regards to this? I've been single for quite a while before him, so I don't know if I'm just so used to having "me" space in bed (and a blanket to myself) that is causing this. I know there's not much I can do if I'm deep in sleep, but does anyone have any suggestions for this weird predicament? I also sleep talk and sometimes sleep walk as well; this has been happening more frequently lately, but I've also been under a lot of stress, which may explain this cropping up more. | I am the worst person to share a bed with, and I am the queen of assholes when it comes to personal space and sharing blankets when I sleep. Halp. |
t3_1l0283 | relationship_advice | [32/f] My boyfriend [38/m] only says I love you during sex (a little NSFW) | Sorry in advance for the long back story but think it might help understand the situation. I met my boyfriend about 2 months ago. He lives across the country and we recently met up and totally hit it off. I think he is the one and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way. So about a month after we met, I was visiting and while we were having sex he looked at me and said that I was it for him and that he loved me. I didn't say it back because I felt scared for some reason (commitment issues). So about a week later he is visiting me and he asks me (during sex) how much I like him. And basically asks me if I love him and I say yes. Then, the next night we are laying in bed and he is getting emotional about leaving and says "I love you". And I said "I love you too". And it was nice. That time actually we weren't having sex when he said it. So last night we were on the phone getting into sex talk (phone sex) and he says "How much do you like me?" and for some reason I just can't say I love you that easily yet, so he asks me if I still love him and I say yes. And it TOTALLY turns him on! I understand that that level of intimacy for some people is a huge turn on but I'm concerned that he doesn't really love me and just says it as a way to get himself turned on when we are having sex. And the truth is that I do love him, very, very much. Even though we have only known each other a short time I know this is it for me. So, I guess the advice I am looking for is should I believe him when he says "I love you" since it is only during sex and not other times? Why not during romantic times when we are on the beach or after a nice dinner? Either way, it doesn't change the way I feel about him, I am totally smitten. Thanks in advance!
[ | ] Boyfriend only says I love you during sex and I'm concerned he is using it to turn himself on and isn't being sincere. |
t3_3epfqw | offmychest | I wish I could afford my own place with just me and him, ugh. F roommates! | You have some roommates who are incredibly messy, and some roommates who notice every single spot on the carpet that's different.
Every time I go out to do something in the kitchen, or wash my clothes, there's always a complaint that I just want to stay in my damned room and not do anything.
What would happen if you threw my clothes on the couch like that? I wouldn't give a rat's ass and would fold my clothes up when they're dry.
I almost said back I don't care if I'm not here and my clothes are done and you throw all my clothes out on the couch wrinkled. I'm not that picky and it's not that big of a deal to me.
I do like living in this clean place. It's a hell of a lot better than the dump I lived at before where my clothes were smelling my smoke because the people in the house constantly smoked in the house and the smell got on all my things.
Now I live with people who are too much of a neat freak. | I just want my own place with only me and my boo thang. |
t3_35uqj6 | relationships | My (23m) SO (21f) rolls over and sleeps mid-sex | So I and my SO have been sexing for about 6 months, dating for a month or two. She presently has a downstairs issue which means no PIV sex, but this is still an ongoing theme in our sex life. To be clear, whilst we wait for this issue to be resolved I've said I'm totally fine with going no sex, or toning it down a lot from everytime we meet, but she's shown no interest in either.
She'll come over, be really horny (her sex drive is higher than mine) and warm me up than we'll end up doing w/e, before it was PIV now it's usually BJ whilst she masturbates, and then she'll come, and...say she's tired and roll over. This happened during PIV sex as well. She'd come, then say she's tired and roll over; or even if we were to continue it'd be all me and she'd be waiting to roll
She can, and has in the past with me had, multiple orgasms so it really makes little sense to me.
I've been on this sub enough to know that communication is generally the problem, so I spoke to her about it a few times. She's aware of it, but even when she's put the need to roll over aside she's just playing a part rather than actually being there if that makes any sense?
Has anyone got any insights here or been in a similar situation in the past or just a flashlight to shine into this fog of confusion?
Cross posting to Relationships and Sex as they seem equally relevant. | SO can have multiples, but rolls over after one, acting like a lazy guy lover, wtf? |
t3_egojn | AskReddit | HealthCare: On Jan 1st my company is restricting ALL employees to no more than 28 hours per week... | The reason given is that anyone who works more than 28 hours will force our restaurant to pay into the pool of government health care. To avoid this they are limiting hours worked per week and hiring extra staff to make up for it. It seems similar to our overtime policy where you can work 39.9 hours in a week but it is grounds for immediate termination to let an employee actually cross into overtime. While harsh I completely understand why a company would forbid overtime, why have an employee work 45 hours and another work 33 when both can work 39 and save the company money.
Yet, it seems odd that there would be such a simple loophole written into the health care bill **that would basically allow every employer in the country to ignore it completely.** This is exactly what we are being told, I've been paying attention to the topic as best I can and I've never seen this 28 hours per week thing mentioned in the media.
I live/work in WA state by the way. | Company forcing everyone to work no more than 28 hours per week |
t3_3jdib4 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my Girlfriend [26F] of 4 months | So I've been seeing my girlfriend for around 4 months now, not my longest but seem to have fallen fast for her. Before we got together she'd come out of a 4 year relationship with someone who appears to be a huge dickhead. I've come out of a similar 8 year relationship.
So we've had a pretty amazing few months getting to know each other, everything was going swimmingly with plans made and booked for times well in advance, the last time I saw her a week ago it was pretty normal and the way we have always been around each other.
Anyway, her ex send her a message recently asking to pick his stuff up and this has drawn feelings back the surface with her telling me she's 'sadly going to have to end our relationship. She's requested time whilst she 'unfucks' her head and I'm happy to give that, I just have no idea where to go from here. | gf's ex leading to old feelings emerging and Us breaking up. |
t3_3dvtdq | relationships | I [24F] have a huge crush on my friend [26M] but am in no way attracted to him physically. | My boyfriend of 6 years died 11 months ago and I without entirely knowing what was happening I entered into a downward spiral of depression. After finally getting on antidepressants a month ago I am starting to feel like myself again.
I recently (6 months ago) met a new group of friends and started hanging out with them a lot. One of the guys in the group is an absolute sweetheart and is genuinely the funniest person I have ever met. After being depressed for so long, he cheers me up by just being who he is. Our personalities are absolutely perfect for each other.
The only problem is that I am in no way sexually attracted to him but I am so attracted to his personality. I know that he likes me so I don't want to lead him on but at the same time I just want to make an emotional connection with someone. Our group of friends went camping this weekend and we spent the majority of the weekend just hanging out together, being drunk, and holding hands. It just felt good to do that but I don't want to mislead him into thinking this could actually turn into a relationship. Should I just cut this off to be fair to him or is there another solution? | I [24F] have a huge crush on my friend [26M] but am in no way attracted to him physically. Should I just let it go? |
t3_1j63lo | relationships | Me[18M/F] with my ___ [18M/F] duration, short-description | I [27/M] need advise (not a native English speaker). Dating [30/F] for seven months.
The issue is she struggled with her divorce (with a lot of my help and support), and now she talks about "having him as a friend, you can't just throw a human being just like that". Oh, BTW, he wants her back "to recreate family" after constantly abusing her morally. We did break up after she started to see him 4 days in a row, I just told her, that I'm no longer waiting patiently, when she eventually get back with him, but we got back. She told me that she will no longer see him. I REALLY hate when she answers his calls. And we constantly fight because of that.
I know I am crazy one here, but what can I do about it? I just afraid, that she will get back to him eventually. We dated for 7 months, and she moved to me 2 months ago. | Am I really the crazy one here? |
t3_51y9u0 | jobs | How to position a LinkedIn profile after being laid off? | Long story short - Was working remotely full-time for a Bay Area startup. Missed a round of funding, and in order to float the company for a few more months and to finish important product development updates, had to do a bunch of layoffs. My position (digital marketing manager) was one of them. So it goes.
My question is - now that I'm actively applying and interviewing with companies, how should I position my LinkedIn profile so that it shows I'm interested in new opportunities, but that I didn't get fired/quit for no reason at the startup? I put "open to new opportunities" on my Angel List profile, but am not sure how well that would fly on LI. I have one written endorsement for my position there from my boss and am working on getting one more. Just not sure how to approach it. Do I update the position to show that I no longer work there and am currently unemployed? I've never been in a situation like this. | Startup going under, got laid off, trying to figure out how I should show on my LinkedIn that I'm interested in new opportunities and that I wasn't fired from said startup. |
t3_2etddm | relationship_advice | I [20M] really like this girl [19F] who has a boyfriend but flirts with me constantly. | I met her on a trip with our school's math club last semester and we really hit it off. She brought up her boyfriend a couple times not long after we met, but it was only to complain about how he was treating her. I found out she had a boyfriend in the first place because we were trying to figure out sleeping arrangements on the trip and one of the people we were rooming with got all weird about me and her sleeping in the same bed bc of her boyfriend. She didn't care at all though, considering the guy's girlfriend was really sick that night so he needed to be with her.
Anyways, she last brought him up in May. Haven't heard anything about him since then. The only reason I know they're still together is because every now and then she'll tag him in a Facebook post. I saw her again the other day for the first time since April (she spent the summer in Italy), and it was just nonstop flirting from both of us, still no mention of her boyfriend or anything.
I honestly don't know what to do. We have a few plans for the coming months that most people (my friends, at least) would consider dates. I don't want to be a home wrecker, but I also don't want to lose her, as a friend or anything more that might develop. What should I do? | I really, really like this girl, but she has a boyfriend, but she doesn't seem happy with him on the rare occasion that she actually mentions him, and she flirts with me constantly. |
t3_1y4l79 | relationships | I [19F] was dumped by my boyfriend [20M] on Valentines day this year, two days before our anniversary. | My boyfriend and I met last a couple years back through a mutual friend. We had an amazing relationship and we both love each other a lot. However our relationship was founded on the premise that I would be moving to another country for about 8 months come the following winter, we both knew this from the start.
A couple months before I moved he started acting shitty and distant: he would take a lot of drugs, ignore me etc. He told me it was because he was sad I was leaving. We agreed to try and sustain a relationship once I left. Once I did leave he almost never spoke to me, I didn't even get a birthday card. Needless to say I was pretty pissed off.
I find out that he has turned into an emotional wreck and doesn't leave his room/get out of bed. He tells me he feels like a zombie and he can't cope with me being so far away.
We arrange to have a romantic skype session on Valentine's day. I try and cheer him up and tell him to smile until he eventually blurts out that he thinks we should break up. Badly timed, two days before our 1 year anniversary.
Needless to say I was pretty distraught and not sure how to feel. He says he wants to be best friends and still talk and maybe start dating when I get back. I feel kind of angry and betrayed. I made a reddit account just so I could speak to some friendly people. What do you guys think I should do? | Boyfriend broke up with me and I need to talk to someone about it. |
t3_16x7xy | offmychest | The reason I have no friends | I'm not sure how to start, but here we go.
In 8th grade, I entered a new high school. I was really nervous about the whole thing, since I didn't know anyone, but I thought it was ok because I could meet new people. When I walked into school on the first day, I found my way to my homeroom and sat down. All around me, every single person was talking about football, which I thought was odd at the time. It wasn't until the teacher walked in I realized how screwed I was.
Now this teacher was the GLC (grade level counselor) for 8th grade. He also had a homeroom, which I was currently sitting in. He was also the head coach of football. With these three powers combined, he had the power to basically handpick all the people in his room. Why he picked me, I have no idea. But his class consisted of 14 guys in football, 16 girls, and me. I don't realize this at the time, so I just sit there, waiting. The GLC walks in and gives everyone their locker number and combo. Unbeknownst to me, there were X girls and X+2 boys in 8th grade, so one poor kid would have to have his locker on the girls' side. That poor kid happened to be me. So basically, I have my locker on the girls' side, no friends in any of my classes and I have to stare at the GLC's face every class. While all around me, people are interacting, making friends and talking about their classes which they have together. Even though I am really funny and friendly, I just can't make any friends because I was put into a situation that made it impossible for me to do so. | I can't make friends because of two unrelated events which I had no control over |
t3_1mw9t8 | Pets | Declawing advice! | I have a 1 yr old polydactyl cat that has 9 toes on one front paw, 8 on the other and 10 on each back foot. We've had her about 9 months.
Her little monster paws have issues with ingrown claws. We clip her twice a week but they still turn in and the vet said it would be best for her to get rid of the ones that are constantly growing back in. Also, she has minor walking issues probably due to the pain of the claws.
Which leads me to our dilemma...she's going under for 3 claws to be removed, should we remove the rest? She is a terror and rips up everything but could that be the pain from the claws?
Also we have BARELY gotten her to start using the litter box as she is a very difficult cat. If we get her declawed, does that mean that she'll start having litter box issues again? | poly cat has medical need for 3 claws to be removed, should we do rest while she's under and what are consequences typically behaviorally? |
t3_30qk1o | relationships | Me (25F) with my boyfriend (23M) of one year, he cheated on me on a business trip, how should I forgive him? | So my boyfriend of one year was on his business trip with a new company for 9 days to another company. Around day 8 I send him messages in the morning and he's really unresponsive, one word answers, so I ask him what's wrong and he confesses to sleeping with someone the night before. He Skypes me crying and begging for forgiveness. He was drunk and with older coworkers who had been cheating on their partners all week. I get that these things aren't legitimate reasons for forgiveness and so does he.
We spent the day together today when he got back and communicated our feelings and decided to try and make things work. He insists it was a one off and that he's so disappointed in how he acted. I believe that he's genuinely sorry and that's why I want to make it work.
It worries me that he's so influenced by people that he's with and that this huge thing has happened so early in our relationship.
My question is how do I move on from this experience and forgive him? I don't want to break up with him but I keep having unbidden thoughts about him and this other woman. I get that it's still really fresh and raw just now, will it get easier in time? Is it possible to forgive a cheater and move on? This has never happened to me before and I don't know how to deal with it. How can I trust him on future trips without driving myself crazy with worry? | How do I forgive my boyfriend for cheating on me when he confessed immediately and I believe he's sorry. |
t3_puoxg | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, I'm thinking about adopting a cat and need some advice first. | Background information: My fiance's dad has become really sick and can no longer take care of their cat. Unfortunately her roommate is allergic to cats, and so is everyone in my family, therefore I am the only option left for this cat. I rent an apartment closer to my school but usually leave Friday afternoon and don't come back till Sunday evening. Is it okay for me to leave enough food and water out for those two days or will this be harmful to the cat? I will be at the apartment for the other 5 days of the week, but just won't be there for 48 hours. Should I get two water and food bowls for the weekend? | Adopting a cat, is it okay for me to leave enough food and water out for two days or will this be harmful to the cat? |
t3_rfl8y | AskReddit | My friend's new GF tried to kiss me.. behind his back.. do I tell him? | My close friend (we'll call him Tom) been trying to find a girlfriend for a couple years. hes a really nice guy, good looking and everything, but im not sure why it hasnt worked out. A week ago he started dating this girl, we'll call her Jane, and seems like things are going good. The first time i met her she overheard me telling someone else my number for them to text me, and she ended up texting me 10 minutes later. thinking it was my buddy i just gave my number to i said out loud "what a homo look at what he texted me haha "heeyyyyyyy"" then she laughs and says it was her. not that big of a deal, kinda weird, but meh.
second time was this friday. we all went to the bar, me Tom Jane and a mutual friend. as i get there for predrinks she gives me a hug, and starts offering me shots. fuck ya i thought free drinks. later on she kept trying to hold my hand at the bar whenever we were walking anywhere. weirded me out and i kept trying to get my hand away. Tom noticed this was was like "jane what the hell?!" butt that was all. i kept giving him weird faces indicating i was confused why she was doing this. eventually we're at the edge of a dance floor, im leaning on a wall talking with her and our mutual friend. mutual friend leaves, and as i look towards the dance floor (not at her) she leans in and most likely tried to kiss me but since my head was turned started to suck on my neck.. i pulled her away, gave an awkward "heh.." and walked away. Tom was litterly 7 feet away with his back turned to us
its a new relationship and dont want to ruin it but like.. what the helll maaaaan. she wasnt like this with anyone else, maybe shes going for a three some haha jk. what do? | friends gf who first time meeting creeped my number when giving it to someone else. second time meeting hugged me, gave me shots, held hand at bar whenever we walked somewhere (i kept pulling away) and eventually tried to kiss me but my head was turned so started sucking my neck |
t3_54rgg6 | relationships | How can I [28F] meet white males in Singapore? | I'm from the UK and I came to Singapore a couple of months ago. I have no desire to date outside of my race. I know that there is quite a large expat community here but all the white males I came across are taken. There are a few teaching at the school where I work at but they either have a wife or a girlfriend. I tried online dating but the people there are creepy and strange. I checked out groups for singles on meetup.com but none of the guys attending the events are white.
How can I meet white males in Singapore? It seems that all the decent ones are taken.
I have been in Singapore for three months now. I really have no idea how to meet single white men though. I am already 28 so my biological clock is ticking. | I am 28F who moved to Singapore three months ago. I have no desire to date outside of my race but I haven't stumbled across a decent single white guy during these three months - how can I meet white males in Singapore or should I consider moving back to the UK? |
t3_2chsa6 | relationships | [18 M] I'm worried about a type of personal problem I have with dating | I'm not new to relationships, I've had quite a few. And I've liked them a lot. I've even been in love with a girl or so before. But there is an issue.
My first few highschool relationships were definitely bad. I was played, screwed over, lots of simple stupid bad stuff. Later on I noticed that in a couple of my relationships, I had a weird thing happen. Such as mid way through a relationship I just go blank. I lose all feeling for that person. I like them. I KNOW I do. But it's very confusing.
It would ultimately end up ruining the relationship because I had no idea what I felt, or thought at all.
Then there's these other times,
Where I've found a girl, and slowly over time, I would absolutely *lose my mind* thinking about this girl. It was almost like a full on love.
I believe I do love everyone, and that may be what I feel. But It gets to the point where I will panic and stress out hard at the most simple things. Id look into every. single. Detail. And think it was something bad. And worry.
Right now, I'm curious.
I haven't had a relationship in 6 months. Last one was a relationship similar to the latter I described. I'm horrible at dealing with either. Would anyone have any advice on what exactly would cause me to
-Lose all emotion or feeling to a person
Or
-Gain a crazy amount of attraction and emotion to a girl. | Halfway into a relationship I'll lose all feelings I have for a person. No matter how strong. It worried me It may happen again or I may not experience a real, meaningful long lasting relationship. |
t3_2pn4jm | relationships | Me [18 F] with my ex [18 F] of 2 months, she can't move on from me | I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 months. I broke up with her because I became depressed and lost interest and motivation in her. I have already moved on, but she believes we still have something.
She still texts me everyday telling me she still loves me, begging me to try to make things work again, etc. She knows I was depressed and tells me she'll help me get out of it and stuff.
I tell her to move on and let go, and that I have lost interest.
Am I being too nice with her? Is this just her way of coping? | Broke up with my girlfriend because I was depressed, I have moved on but she still texts me begging me to come back. |
t3_4ymfn0 | relationships | Me [24 M] with my "gf" [22 F] of a month, is this too much as an apology? | So, I've been going steady with a girl lately, and we are pretty much exclusive to each other. We just don't have a label for anything yet, and we are taking it slow. The other night, we were talking, and my dumb ass self said "oh cmon [ex's name]" (I didn't use the full name, I caught myself, but still). She just recently asked me what my ex's name was that night, to put it into context as well. Even though she has told me she isn't mad that I said that, she said she was hurt, and I feel terrible about it even today. I just was out and decided to pick her up some flowers, but I don't know if this is appropriate? We've only been seeing each other for a month, am I being too forward with this as a small gift+apology? She is coming back to my place after work, and I can't decide whether to keep the flowers or toss them. | Fucked up badly with new girl, wanted to know if this was appropriate. |
t3_3fcybk | relationship_advice | [x-post /r/Advice] My grandmother is either insane or my uncle and his wife are trying to get her locked up in an asylum. | So firstly I want to apologise for my english as it is not my native language.
I am 20 years old and my grandma is still alive. I am the only person in our family that keeps in touch with her (my mother only buys her food). Every time I visit her she tells me these stories that her son (My uncle) and his wife are doing weird stuff in her house like: Cutting her clothes a little with a knife, scratching her dishes with something sharp (?!?). There is always a new story every time I visit her. I tried confronting my uncle about this but he just says that she is old and losing her mind. Also there is a creepy part: my uncle and his wife have a daughter (10 years old), there is a closet that they don't let my grandma open for some reason. She tried asking the kid about it and the kid said this: "My mom is there so they won't let you open it" (WTF?!?!). There is only one reason my uncle will want to lock my grandma up in an asylum. If she goes there, the apartament will be free and it will pass on to her son. Reddit, I need your help figuring this shit out. | My grandma is either insane or my relatives are evil. |
t3_2drumn | relationships | Me (29m) and her (24f), togetherish 2.5 years, Facebook searches bothering me | I've posted about us in the past. To sum that up - lived together for 2 years, she moved back home and wanted to take a break, lied about hanging out with another guy, we got back together, somehow exclusive but not official. Yeah, I'm confused by that one still.
The issue here - I've known her Facebook password for about a year. I never cared to check it for most of that time. A few weeks ago I found out some more information about the guy she was talking to when we took our break (important - this is NOT the guy this post is about) and checked her Facebook to see if they were talking. Nope, nothing. Then I remembered reading posts on here, "my girlfriend is searching for her ex on Facebook"... Nah, not her.
Fuck me. This is probably mid-July - she's searched for her ex (from 2009, multiple ex's ago) at least once a day for months. What the shit. They don't message each other, they don't text each other. The only conversation they've had since 2012 is happy birthdays. Okay.. Today I check it again. Still searching almost every day, some days multiple times - six times yesterday, three times today for example. What the fuck?
I know this guy is in a committed relationship. He has been for a long time. My girlfriend doesn't know I know her password, so I don't know how to bring this up. I know the guy does a lot of dirt bike racing, and my girlfriend enjoys it, so she could just be looking him up to see new pictures (highly unlikely). She could also regret that they ended up breaking up and want to get back with him. I don't know.
I don't know how to bring it up. I don't know if it's even worth bringing up. I know they don't message each other, they don't text, they don't even have each others phone numbers. It's still something that bothers me. He's literally 90% of her searches in 2014. | she searches for him a lot. It's got me searching for answers.. |
t3_3slu0z | relationships | I (22M) cheated on my girlfriend (22F) and am desperate to repair it. | We were dating for about 3 months when she left for a trip to study abroad for 4 months. We said before she left that we were going to stick it out and stay together. While she was gone for about two weeks, I made out with a friend. Somehow she had a suspicion that something happened even from thousands of miles away and we didn't speak for a few days. The next weekend I got with the same friend, went back to her house and basically did everything but sex. My girlfriend found out about it last weekend, 9 months later. I tried to lie but eventually broke down. It was the worst feeling in the world to see her so heartbroken and devastated because of me. It was a drunken mistake that I ended before she came home and would do anything to take back. After my whole story came out, she admitted that while she was away she had an emotional connection with a guy lasting for two months. This happened because I was not taking care of her needs and just being a shitty boyfriend (complaining to her on the phone about my day, not asking her anything about her day, not sending her a valentines day gift, etc). She turned to this guy because he was fulfilling her needs and making her feel special like I should have been. Their relationship never turned physical but she did admit that she was thinking about breaking up with me because she enjoyed talking to him more. What she did isn't right either but I'm trying to be understanding. I messed up the best thing I've ever had in my life. She has decided to go one month without any contact whatsoever and I plan on spending all that time working on myself for her, but I feel like her mind is already made up. I am desperate to correct it. I am starting to go to therapy on Monday but in the meantime I need help sorting this out. | Was a terrible boyfriend to the best girl in the world and now I want to do everything I can to start new and fix it. |
t3_3ec3k3 | relationships | Me [26 M] been with my GF [21 F] 10 months, GF is moving to another city soon, big decision to make | GF and I have been dating for about 10 months with a good chunk of that in an LDR as she has been studying abroad. She will be moving to NYC when she finishes undergrad (for her job and family proximity) in december while I live in Baltimore. I do want to move to a new, bigger city in the near future, but never wanted to go to NYC because of how crazy expensive it is. I also just started a new job a few months ago and the earliest I could move career-wise would be roughly a year from now.
She has thrown out the possibility of moving in together in NYC as a way of cutting the cost down. However, I think moving to a city I don't otherwise want to be in and immediately moving in together is generally a bad idea, especially when we have not been dating that long. But I really couldn't afford to move there on my own and I hate the idea of spending most of my money on rent.
I love her, and I'd like to find a way to make things work, but I am having trouble finding a way to make moving to NYC a smart/reasonable decision. We could just delay the decision until December and see how we are feeling then, but I am not sure what could change before then to make this easier/better. It would suck to miss out on the next 5 months of being together, especially when she is finally getting back from being abroad, but I also don't want to just delay the inevitable.
Any advice on what I should do? Am I being selfish/irrational? | GF will be moving in a few months to a city I can't afford. She offered to move in together when it happens. I think its too soon, but can't think of another option, don't know what to do. |
t3_1cz2js | relationships | [21m] feeling excluded by my roommates/friends | I've known my roommates for almost 2 years now. We are all in college and met when we were sophomores and living on campus. We've been living together since August, and I feel left out. When they go and do stuff, they won't invite me. They'll literally make plans right in front of me and get ready then go without even saying "see ya later" or anything. We get along fine, we talk and hang out in each other's rooms and there's no domestic discord. The same thing is happening with the extended group of friends that they have introduced me to. Their friend Tyler and his fiance and his fiance's friends come over once a week to play poker and chill, and I join them and it's all fine but just the other day we were all in the living room and after getting a text and reading it, one roommate said "Hey Jimmy and Erik, Pattie (Tyler's fiance) wants us to come over tonight for poker" and they got up and left without even saying a word to me.
The thing is, everybody in this group (including the extended group of friends) have been best friends since high school (they ALL went to the same high school, all 6 of them) but I feel as if I have broken into the group pretty well. None of them dislike me, the extended group of friends have all requested to be my friends on Facebook and I can't imagine that they would do that if they didn't like me somewhat. I'm just getting a little down on myself because I feel excluded and everybody knows that it's impolite to invite yourself to social gatherings.
All of my other friends work all the time so I see them maybe once every other week so I just end up sitting at home and watching Netflix all the time. What should I do about this? | Roommates are making plans to go out right in front of me and then not even bothering to invite me, feeling excluded. What do I do? |
t3_195j5a | BreakUps | Weighing the options of getting some clarity. One week broken up. | My ex and I were dating about two months. At the beginning she was always saying how lucky she felt. I felt lucky too, but I didn't always say it. Didn't feel I needed to say it. Things feel great. Going well. We have plans last week for the following day. I had a particularly tough day and ask if I can come by to her place. She agrees. When I get there, she says those dreaded words, "We need to talk." She says she's not excited as she thinks she should be at this point in the relationship. She says she's been thinking about for a bit. I'm deer in the headlights. I get my stuff and we part.
Over the past week, my wheels have been turning. Just can't see what was off. I want to send an email. Ask if we can talk. As much as I tell myself that it's for closure, I can't deny that part of me wants to rekindle it.
Do I not contact and go on, not knowing what happened? Contact and bite my tongue at the right spots? Hoping for a little post break-up advice. Thanks to everyone in advance. | Girlfriend of two months broke up with me a week ago seemingly out of the blue. Trying to figure out if and how I should contact for clarity. |
t3_tfnrz | self | I think I messed up... | This was supposed to be my last semester in College. I had everything planned out to finish a double major in mathematics and physics. I only needed 4 classes to graduate and had to wrap up 2 senior projects that had already been started.
Finals week end in just a couple days and I have surely failed my math major and don't see a single way I can finish it. With a ton of leniency from my professors and some hard work over the next couple days I might be able to finish with the physics major. Unfortunately I haven't been to a single class in almost a month now and do not think that the professors would be willing to work with me.
So in just a couple days I will be out on the street in about 50k worth of debt with no home to turn to. See my parents are in the middle of getting divorced and have moved out of our old home seperately and moved all of my belongings in with my Uncle.
During all of this time I have been in denial. I have lied to everyone I know and tell them everything is fine, but I am clearly not fine. I barely leave my room and find any excuse not to do my work. For weeks I have known it would come to this and have done nothing about it.
One of those people I have kept lying to is my girlfriend of 3 years, who thinks I have been going to my finals and am about to give presentations on both of my senior projects.
I come to you for advice on where I should proceed from here. I have no money, no job, 50k in debt, no degree, no home and no family to turn to. I have only my girlfriend who I doubt will be thrilled when I don't graduate with her.
I just don't know what to do... | I Failed my last semester of college, have no money or home, and don't know what to do. |
t3_htp1n | relationship_advice | G/F and I broke up and IDK how to deal with it. | M24 F20
I just broke up with my girlfriend and I feel hopelessly depressed. I wish there was a way to feel better. I don't know how I'm supposed to do anything when all I feel like doing is crying. She left for the summer last week and doesn't have a cell phone and I missed her so much. I waited all weekend long to hear from her hoping to chat with her on the computer for a little to catch up but I never did so I kind of lost my cool. Is it unrealistic for me to think that if she really wanted to keep in touch with me she would have?
She told me she doesn't have wifi in her dorm so thats why she can never chat with me. I never even have received so much as a phone call since she's been gone. I just find it hard to believe that there's no where with a phone she could use or a pay phone or a wifi signal that she couldn't have used to keep in touch. How is a long distance relationship supposed to work if there is zero communication. We got in a big fight and I said some things that I shouldn't have. Am I in the wrong for expecting a little more effort in the communication department.
I was waiting by my computer just waiting to hear from her. Things have been a little rocky lately and there was a part of my head telling me I need to move on but I can't always trust my brain. I basically sent her a message saying that I needed a breather and I was enjoying the freedom. Now that it's too late I feel like I shouldn't have said it. She told me she doesn't want me to talk to her at all anymore :( I still love this girl very much and I miss her so much. What the fuck am I supposed to do here. My head feels really messed up right now and I could use some outside advice. | Started long distance relationship last week. Almost zero communication since. Lost my cool and got in fight. Now we are broken up and I'm feeling fucked up. |
t3_45ws05 | relationships | [21 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] 4 years, How do I get over my insecurities? | My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 4 years now. I'm 22 and he's 21. I'm the only person he has ever dated. He has repeatedly told me that he'd like to get married to me someday and frequently jokes about it. By this point in time I would've hoped that I would've over come my insecurities but apparently not.
We live in a small town where there really is little to no night life, neither my boyfriend nor I drink so we don't really have any reason to go to clubs. I've never been to one, but he has. He's mentioned a couple of times now that he'd want to go clubbing with me, but I don't understand the appeal of clubs, I can't dance, and neither of us drinks, and I'm threatened by the thought of super inebriated hot women with legs for days being around my boyfriend.
These sort of insecurities and fears are starting to cripple me. My boyfriend mentioned that he'd love to go to Spain and that the girls are gorgeous, and that made me feel really worried about the times when he travels away.
He tells me he loves me, he makes it very clear that he's attracted to me, he's never really given me a reason to doubt his loyalty, he tells me that he doesn't want to have sex with anyone but me, but I still have these insecurities about him wanting some blond leggy model.
I feel like society has indoctrinated me with the belief that men are always on the hunt for sex, and the thought of him in a place where sexy women would be served up on a platter just makes me extremely uncomfortable.
How do I get over my insecurities? | ! I have crippling yet baseless insecurities about my boyfriend wanting someone hotter. How do I get over this? |
t3_2zwmdu | relationships | Having trouble believing my boyfriend. | My boyfriend [M18] and myself [F19] have been dating for a year and a half now. We have had an issue dealing with him looking at porn and naked women. I don't like it at all due to the fact that I don't believe he needs it. To respect me, he has promised that he would not look at it anymore. I have caught him a few times in the past looking at it, and he sincerely apologized and promised he would never do it again. However, last night I came home from work and saw on his computer browsing history that he had multiple links open of naked women. One being the same women he looked at last time. I brought this up to him, and for 2+ hours he kept promising me that someone hacked into his computer and did this, it wasn't him. I had a hard time believing that. Am I at fault here? Or does he have a problem? | I'm just trying to figure out if he's lying and what I should do about it. |
t3_2ivbjs | relationships | Girlfriend(16f) problems need advice (17m) | So my girlfriend said that we are taking a
break from being affectionate towards eachother so no holding hands or anything
of the sort no saying "I love you" because she wants to find the "spark again" we've
been together for a little under a year and a half. But even after all of these condition
she still treats me the same and talks to me and it kills me because I am an affectionate
guy not overly affectionate but affectionate. Things just seem wrong I'm not sure
whether to cut all contact till she know whether she wants to be with me and feels
good with me or stay in hopes that I can change the way she feels because we aren't
officially over or broken up I just need advice in general and I partially just need to
get this off my chest because I don't really have anyone to talk to we have the same
friends and I would much rather not drag
them I'm the middle. I've been depressed
for a couple months as well and I don't wan
t to end it because I really care. And I do
know that I am young and there will be plenty of other girls but if I can stay with this
girl and possibly marry her I would love too. | relationship is going through some bumps not sure what to do, need advice. |
t3_2hfzvr | relationships | Me [18 M] has unexplainable angst when my new girlfriend [ 18 F] is away and i cant understand why i have it and it is making feel really bad. | Hey reddit, I have a problem that is really strange.
I got together with my girlfriend probaly just about a month ago, she is smart, funny and I really love her. Whenever I am together with her we have an amazing time and I am really happy with her and everything seems just fantastic. But I have a problem I just CAN'T understand, that has nothing to do with her, it's something I've completely made up in my own mind and i just can't understand where it comes from.
Whenever she is gone I feel really anxious and start to think about how she has had sex and made out with guys before we even noticed each other or even were interested in each other and I feel really bad about it, to an extent that i have trouble sleeping.
I also feel anxious if she doesn't answer to a text that i wrote, and I get scared that she would leave me or anything, I just can't understand why I feel this way. I've had a girlfriend before and I didn't have this problem. I'm not really sure what to do because this is just things that i make up in my mind and I really have no reason to feel this way.
when we are together all these worries disappear and we always have a super great time together, but later when we haven't seen each other for awhile these thoughts come back and I really can't understand why!!
I feel really bad for her sake aswell, because it's nothing that has anything to do with her and I just wan't to get these Irrational fears away because it's extremely infuriating.
And I don't want to say this to her because there is nothing that gives me any right to have these fears and it has absolutely nothing to do with her, it's strictly something that I create in my own mind.
If anyone had the same problem or anything please tell me what to do! | I get an irrational angst whenever my girlfriend is gone and I really don't know why |
t3_3zetfy | personalfinance | Student loan consolidation or not? | Ok so to start off I'm very thankful for the situation that I'm in, I can make the payments and still have some fun. That being said I'd like to know if it would be beneficial to consolidate my loans. I'm 24 making ~65k and have pretty good credit 740ish
Loan info: 3 individual chunks with FirstMarkServices all with variable interest which is currently 6.450% and a total balance of $26,934 1 FFEL unsubsidized with $5860 @ fixed 6.550% 1 Direct unsubsidized with $15,127 @ fixed 6.550% 1 Direct subsidized with $4,606 @ fixed 4.550%
I'm aware if I throw more money at them they will be gone faster but my question is will consolidating these to one loan help in the long run or will it just be a lateral shift.
Another note is I have a cosigner and if consolidation is just a lateral move but helps his credit by removing him as a cosigner then I would like to pursue that. Not sure who to consolidate with and any recommendations are welcome | take a look at my loan info above, would it be good to consolidate or not? |
t3_xlsix | relationship_advice | [22/F] Met an awesome guy (22/m) when drunk, said I was French because I thought I would never see him again. Now he wants to go on a date! | First off, I'm fluent in French and all of my friends are French. I lived in France for two years, was a French linguistics major, and I had just been with all of my french friends immediately before meeting him.
We started chatting and I told him I was French because why the fuck not, I'm drunk and can pull it off. But then we hit it off and I ended up giving him my number. I didn't expect him to really call me! Two days later, he called me.
What is the best way to break it to him that I'm not really French? | Met a guy at a bar, hit it off with him but I lied when I first met him and said I was French thinking I would never see him again. |
t3_2qswen | relationships | I[18M] can't take my girlfriend[18F] of 3 years to social events | So my girlfriend is super shy with large groups of people that she doesn't know well. When it is us and a few close mutual friends, she is a lovely addition to the general social aspect of it all. When it is any larger that 10 people or so, she will literally go sit in a corner by herself, even if she knows them all.
Obviously, the problem for me is that if it is a family gathering or a get together with old friends, I want to talk to everyone and enjoy myself and be presentable to them. I would not say I am an extrovert, but I am able to cope just fine.
She can not. She hides in the corner and sits by herself and will only talk to me or a very close friend alone. I feel horrible letting her sit there all alone, but I also feel it is a bit unfair for me to have to walk on eggshells by making sure she is somewhat comfortable in every perfectly normal social setting.
I know we are young, but her shyness is definitely a permanent part of her personality, and I can't help but worry that this will be a problem in the future. I imagine her doing the same thing at a work cocktail party, family reunion, christmas party, or highschool reunion, or anywhere where it is important to put on a friendly face.
Are there any ways I can help her feel more comfortable in these types of situations? Am I wrong in not wanting to feel obligated for her emotional well being under perfectly normal situations such as these? Am I being insensitive to her personality, or is she being childish by not sucking up her anxieties and mixing with our friends?
Thank you reddit. | Girlfriend will not engage in any casual social events such as a Christmas party or family reunion. Is it insensitive of me to ask her to overcome her mild group anxiety? She is shy by nature, but even in a group of people we know I am walking on egg shells trying to make sure she is okay and isn't too stressed out by the crowd. |
t3_2okaja | relationship_advice | 22f have feelings for friend and can't tell if they're reciprocated | There's this guy that I've known since high school and have recently reconnected with after coming back from college. Great guy on the outside, charming, good looking (and he knows it too). We started hanging out and things got kinda cuddly real fast. We'd watch movies on the couch together and fall asleep with each other. We've fooled around once but he's never wanted to talk about it since. He's said once before that he "doesn't want to ruin a good thing" with our cuddle friendship and that "he's no good for me" in terms of an actual relationship.
But the real problem is he does drugs. He came over to my house and rolled (I was sober) and he practically begged me to have sex with him, and after I said no, just continued very sexual talk until I could get his mind off of it. When he's really high on weed, he'll cuddle with me and ask me to kiss him and when I don't he gets upset. Here's the catch: he claims he doesn't remember saying any of this! He claims it's the drugs talking and he apologized for leading me on. But he rolls with his other friends all the time and tells me about the conversations he has with them, so I'm not sure I trust his blacking out claim. And it doesn't explain the sober cuddles and shit. When I confronted him about feeling used, he said "he's sorry I feel that way" but won't elaborate on how he really feels about me. Do you think he really doesn't remember this stuff, or just using the drugs as an out? Im tempted to end the friendship because I'm sick of being pulled around and led on. | have feelings for a friend, he does drugs and leads me on, then claims to not remember the next day. |
t3_jmo5t | AskReddit | What is the creepiest interpersonal encounter you've experienced? | Mine takes place on a class trip to Florida.
In eighth grade the science classes hosted a trip to Florida where the students toured the various Disney parks. The first day there we spent the entire time at Animal Kingdom.
Since there were about four teachers to a hundred students, they relied on the buddy system. Me and two of my friends were roaming through the parks when one of them said they needed to use the bathroom. While waiting, my other friend and I were approached by an older gentleman.
Since it was a class trip, we were all supposed to wear name tags and matching shirts. The man who walked up to us just pointed to our shirts, said "Green. No, chartreuse." and then backed a few feet away.
After some awkward glances exchanged between me and my buddy, the man walks back up to us and asked if we had seen "That one cool ride down there with the really long line?" We both said yes just to get him to go away, but he wouldn't. He asked my friend if he would go check and see how the line was doing, saying "you go check the line, he can stay here. It doesn't take two people. *chuckle*"
At this point we were both a thoroughly disturbed by this guy's blatant attempt at snatching up a 13 year old and ran our asses out of there. All the while he was calling for us to come back, which is apparently pretty normal there because no one said anything to him or to us. We picked up our friend from the bathroom and found a gift shop to hide in. When we told one of the teachers about it later, she laughed it off as if we weren't being serious. Terrifying encounter. | Friend and I were almost abducted on a class trip, teacher laughed off the experience |
t3_2vln0j | tifu | TIFU by watching Blue is the warmest color | This actually happened less than an hour ago and I'm really glad I'm leaving in the morning.
So I live in a dorm, since my University is 2.5 hours away from home and I came home to visit for 3 days, since I was done with my classes and other Uni stuff. I should also point out that I'm a 20 year old lesbian that hasn't gotten laid in a while.
Everything was going great, I had dinner with my family and I decided to "sleep" on the couch. Since I have to get up and on the train in a few hours, I decided to pull an all-nighter and just watch a movie or something. I decided to watch "Blue is the warmest color", which, for those who don't know, is pretty much about two lesbians and contains shitloads of sex scenes.
And this is where I FU. I had my earphones in and my laptop on the table and was enjoying the movie and then le wild 2nd sex scene appears. I look around, it's dark all around me, everyone's asleep, so I'm safe. There comes the 3rd sex scene, I completely forgot about where I was and just continued watching. All of the sudden I see a light in the bathroom. You have to go through the living room to get to the bathroom, so past the couch as well..
My mom came out a few minutes after, looking horrified, didn't say a word or even look at me and went straight to her bedroom. | Mom had to take a shit, instead caught me watching lesbians having raging sex. |
t3_2lxraj | Advice | I am a high school varsity soccer player (football for you nerds in foreign lands), I have doubts about my motivation. HELP ME D: | Okay, so to start things off this is not the first time I have had motivation/ambition issues. Last year (as a freshman, I am a sophomore now) I was offered a varsity spot but declined. Not due to concern over riding the bench, but over concern over whether I wanted to play varsity with strangers, or JV with my friends. My school soccer program is not very good, and I just do not know if I even want to play, let alone varsity. It is the 2nd week of our season, practices are insanely tough, and the coach wants me. I hate to toot my own horn but I am one of the top 3 players on our team. Do I lead my team on, and take a starting spot without being motivated to keep it and play to win, or do I quit and get ridiculed like I did last year when I didnt want to play varsity? My parents also would probably not support me quitting either. I have 36 hours from now to decide. | idk if motivated to play varsity soccer, do i lead team on being unmotivated, or quit and get ridiculed and anger my parents? 36 hours from now I must decide. hit me |
t3_2mjrwr | relationships | Me [25M] with my Mother [53F], have son on the way with fiancé [23F], considering a name for child. | Not sure if this is the right subreddit.
So my fiancé and I are expecting a son in February. We are absolutely ecstatic about having a new child.
A little background, when my mom was 25, she had a stillborn son, who she decided to name. He was supposed to be her first child, and I still think it weighs on her.
My fiancé and I are considering naming the child after my mom's child, but we aren't sure if that's a good way to remember someone or if it's a horrible way of bringing back memories.
For the same reason of not wanting to bring up sad memories, we aren't sure if we should ask my mom her thoughts on it either, and we're not sure what to do. | Having a son, not sure on whether to hame him after my stillborn older brother. |
t3_4s5t4o | relationship_advice | My [18/F] time with partner [18/M] has been great, but I worry when I look too far ahead | We met not even a year ago, but got very close very fast. In many ways, we seem like opposites; I'm calm and he's emotional, he thinks too deep into things and I don't mind if I don't think enough, and so on. It's not quite a romance, but it feels like we could possibly marry years and years later, even though that's inconceivable now. He said he hopes he can live with me someday, and I believe it.
But -- and I know this is probably no time to worry about what *might* be *this* far ahead -- in my family, when someone emotionally steady meets someone who's not, it doesn't work out. Either one has issues that they let consume their life and the other person can't help them beyond giving advice, and it gets to the point where they can't even keep a friendship, or the two don't see an issue the same way and it tears them apart a decade down the line. Things bother me about the way he communicates or doesn't with his friends and family; I think he feels that way about me, too. He's always going from cheerful to depressed and he might have always been that way. And -- here's where I'm *really* looking too deep into it -- he sucks with money!
I'm sure this can work, but what should I 'watch out for' in both of us, and how can I deal with these issues that I feel are coming down the line? Is there anything to remember besides the old adage 'communication is key?' Does anyone have experience with a relationship of 'opposites?' | I'm concerned about our possible future together because we see and deal with issues differently |
t3_3duh1u | relationships | [[Update]] parents tore me (17) and girlfriend (15) apart. | Alright, I still have one last thing I need some help on for my little journey I've been going through here
[Last update which will lead to the OP](
So I'm about to ask something pretty simple but for me it hasn't been as simple as I thought it would be to work through this.
How do I just get over her?
I think the best thing to do is just move on in the situation I'm in... But doing that has been so difficult. It's just too much. No matter what I'm doing, how busy I am, she somehow finds a place in my head.. And it sucks thinking back, knowing that everything's gone now not because it was a breakup, but just because she was taken away from me in a matter of seconds... And I guess I'm a little stuck on what we could've been, if we somehow got her parents on board.. But I know I can't focus on that, because it's gone now.
I still have some of her letters that I tried to throw away once, but just couldn't, which probably wasn't the best move.
It's much easier said than done... But what do I do?
I'm guessing it'll just take time. But once school starts back up, I'm pretty sure I'll start remembering seeing her in the halls or where we talked for the first time and then it'll just come right back.. What do I do?
Thanks in advance. | How do I get over her? |
t3_4y3iag | relationships | I'm [18/M] suddenly obsessed with Tinder, seeming to base my happiness off of it? | So I recently became obsessed with tinder after getting out of a relationship, and I'm honestly just looking for some hookups to help me get over it.
I get a decent amount of matches [F], about several every day, and I do manage to strike up conversation with them. However, for whatever reason they will stop responding in the middle of the conversation and it really bothers me. I've gotten to the point where if I check my phone and dont have a new tinder message/match I get pissed off.
I'm truly obsessed with this app, and devote so much effort and thought into it, and I think my very happiness is starting to be based off of it. I really can't live like this anymore, but it's at the point where I don't want a hookup, I need one. Help!!! What do I do? | I'm obsessed with Tinder, but don't have a whole lot of luck using it. Starting to base my happiness on tinder messages/matches. Help!!! |
t3_4fijps | relationships | I [22 M] didn't give her [20 F] enough space, now she doesn't want to talk for a long time. | I had a fantastic relationship with a girl. We made each other extremely happy. She used the words "swept me off my feet" days before the breakup.
She broke up with me because I tried to tell her that I loved her (5 months), and she wasn't ready for that at this point in her life. Despite this, she said I didn't do anything wrong, and I was the best boyfriend she had ever had.
We did 3 weeks no contact, then I reached out and tried to show her support and tell her that I wanted to stay in her life as a friend. She got super pissed that I came to talk to her and didn't wait for her to come to me, and said that I need to leave her alone for at least a few months. So that's what I'm doing.
I'm trying to move on, but I know that under the right circumstances, there could be something great down the road for us. Can anyone tell me if I have a chance, and how long it should be before I talk to her? I see her a couple times a month, but we aren't talking. | Broke up because timing was wrong for love. Can we make it work in the future? |
t3_25064n | offmychest | Dog Park Skateboard Justice | I was leaving the dog park this afternoon, at about dust, with my dog on his leash. The entrance to the park is a pretty decent size hill with a few twists and turns, so visibility isn't that great.
All of the sudden, this ~15 year old kid comes FLYING down around a corner on his long-board and screams WATCH OUT. My dog freaks out and spins me around, in the process running into a tree, thus freaking him out even more. As my dog spun around I see this kid ride into the grass and take the meanest digger I have seen in a long time. I'm talking about full out face slide in the dirt.
My initial response was yelling, "dude, what the f, You gotta call it out when you come down the mountain. Make some f'ing noise". Taking a closer look, his face was a little bit bloodied up. I asked him if he was alright, to which he responded, "yeah".
So I'm sitting on the path trying to calm my dog down, who has his tail so far between his legs that its touching his front legs. Two seconds later I see this lady come down and start talking to the kid, presumably his mother. I calmed my pup down some more, checked out his limb functionality, and we came home.
Luckily, my dog is walking fine and isn't showing any signs of damage from the tree (he SLAMMED into it). I checked his pupil dilation, which is OK. Playing with him, he seems very responsive. It doesn't seem like he is concussed in any way, which makes me feel better. | Stupid skateboarding kid flies recklessly down winding trail at a dog park and his skills can't stop him from taking a huge digger. |
t3_2bqg25 | relationships | How do I [24M] "succeed" at being single. | I am, and always have been, a serial monogamist. I got into my first relationship in freshman year of HS, was with her for 18 months. Then dated another girl for half a year, then was with my first long-term SO for 7 years. We broke up in February and I spent a very difficult 6 months being single and I just got out of a 9 month relationship that started last November. Cumulatively, I've probably been single for less than a year since I was 14.
I'm really good at being a boyfriend, I love it. I thrive on being another person's part. When I'm single, I can't shake this instinct to fall for the next person I have my eye on. Now, I'm struggling to cope with my increasingly mounting attraction to one of my co-workers (not single).
My question is: what do you do to be happy and content while you're single when you're so used to being in a relationship? | Serial monogamist wants to be happy single and curb an inconvenient and growing attraction for a non-single co-worker. |
t3_3awbkg | relationships | Me [27M]with my _good friend__ [24F] one year, nothing bad, just good times, question for the people | I had a really good friend that I was interested in dating around the time we met, I know there was another guy in the picture but she wasn't real happy about that relationship. She broke it offWe talked a ton, hung out around 4 days a week for a year. About 6 months in, she's pretty into me, and I'm still digging her but circumstances were weird, I don't want to bring it up, really.
After about a year of doing the same repetitive thing, since neither would go down the relationship road, she cut me off entirely. Deleted me from Facebook, didnt return my one e mail I sent and didn't even say good bye. I get no closure, as the last time we hung out she was still upbeat, into the conversation and happy, at least on the outside. The next day, she was gone.
Neither of us are promiscuous, or experienced in dating. Both introverts, both good looking and it was a total emotional attachment for me, at least, as I pair bonded with someone for the first time in years. Not sure if she did, although the things she said made me think so. I'm not the kind of guy to chase any girl so I haven't contacted, or tried to contact her in months. I'm sure there's no going back but my question is this...
Since she left me hanging, I didn't get any closure from the entire situation...as a result, I'm blaming myself, self hate, and pretty much done with women altogether. If she never liked me in the first place, I'm cool with that, but she couldn't just simply tell me to go get lost? That would have been much easier than what she did. Any ideas on why she might have cut me off entirely in one days time after a year? | She stopped talking to me out of the blue cut all contact |
t3_4c84n4 | relationships | My friend [F, 17] and her girlfriend[F, 17] have been going out for a while(I think the girlfriend is being abused) | I know this isn't as serious a relationship as most others here,
but I asked this on the /r/dota2 subreddit when we had our Free
Talk Friday and I was lead here.
So, here's the deal, back in highschool, I had eight friends
(two of which I learned were lesbians). I liked one of them(who is
now the girlfriend being abused), but at the time, I had no idea my
friend liked her. Fastforward a few months to after graduation and I
meet up with the couple and my other friend(who I plan to ask out
soon). It seemed that they were getting along fine so I didn't bother
them. It started in our groupchat one night when my friend started
sending pictures pertaining to or resembling heartbreak and I knew
something was up. It turned out that there was some conflict that
we haven't yet found out about. This is due to her wanting to keep
their relationship between just the two of them and they(well she)
wants us to take no part in it. The thing that strikes me is that I
found out she controls all her girlfriend's social media accounts as
well as her cellphone number. She made a new account on FaceBook
for her(albeit a private one) that the girlfriend's only friend is her.
I am concerned because I know my friend is slipping(she is mentally
insane) cause she sent a picture of her holding a blade and smiling
like a maniac. I have no way to reach te girlfriend and I really need
advice.
I'm sorry this isn't too well explained(my phone's dying, needed to
post this ASAP). I know I can't do much about it, but I need advice
so that when I visit her, I can talk to her about it. | Two of my friends who were lesbians started datig and |
t3_nwyl1 | AskReddit | Who would be in your Hollywood wolf pack? | The three best friends that anyone could have from Hollywood, and their role in my wolf pack.
Brad Pitt: Me and Tyler... I mean Brad, would do crazy shit like project mayhem. We would call each other up at like 3am and be like "wanna get tatered and go graffiti the mayors house?". And then we would go do it.
Russell Crowe: Me and Russ would do really sophisticated stuff, but we wouldn't be pretentious assholes. We would hit up super fancy parties and end up singing Frank Sinatra songs for a group of lovely ladies while drinking champagne we never even had to pay for.
Neil Patrick Harris: Me and NPH would be roomates, and we would do a lot of awesome sports and cool trips out of the country. Pretty much would be a bromance. We would rotate wing manning for each other and would be insanely good at it. | Brad Pitt, Russell Crowe, Neil Patrick Harris |
t3_37uhjm | relationships | Me [24 F] with my colleague [29 M] that I have a crush on, problem: My father is our boss. | As the title says.. I have a problem.
I have a crush on this guy that works for my dad, since I first saw him about a year ago. I started working for my dad back in November and I always blushed whenever I saw, lets call him J. We work somewhat closely together, see each other every day and talk everyday. In february, we started emailing each other a few times a day. This developed into emailing each other whenever we had time for it. About two weeks ago he asked me out and I gave him my number. It just felt right, he makes me nervous and smily. We haven't been out yet but text every day all day. He gives me butterflies and he is the first guy in years that I really really like.
We are just getting to know each other and we're on the same page with everything so far. I feel like I hit the jackpot and Im so ready for something serious! But the problem is, that
1. what if it doesnt work out.
2. What will happen if my dad finds out we're interested in each other (he has quite a temper - then again he did mention before that J is a good guy and single - my dad is jokingly looking for potential sons in law because he thinks I've been single for too long) and
3. what if for whatever reason J gets fired (or leaves) because of how our relationship might develop.
He is very very good at his job, so it would be a loss for the entire company if he were to leave.
This is the very early stage but I'm already so worried about what could happen.
Am I overthinking this? He asked me before if I'm okay with texting him so much or if I'm worried. He also said that he thinks its unprofessional but that he cares more about getting to know an interesting person than his job.
Should I stop this or just see how things go? | I have feelings for my colleague and can see myself with him but my father is our boss and Im scared of might happen. |
t3_hdki5 | AskReddit | Facing disciplinary action for my partners plagiarism... thoughts? | I'll try and keep this short...
Had a lengthy report due for my college writing class that was a partner project worked on throughout the semester. After turning it in my partner and I receive emails from the instructor about her concerns with two specific sections that I definitely was NOT responsible for and she would like to discuss them. I call her and after a discussion and resending of my sections with citations she says "Great, I'll grade this and I'm not going to go forward with any action towards you."
Fast forward a week and a half and I receive an email from Dean of Students requesting a meeting. At this meeting he informs me that although the teacher did request no action be pursued against me he feels that with my name on the paper and a unclear account of who sections are whos he will most likely punish both my partner and I. My partner says he though I wrote the section in question and although I obviously didn't because of the subject matter, and the instructor agrees with me, it looks like I'm going to get punished too.
Thoughts? Advice? | Partner on a final term paper plagiarized, won't own up. Instructor doesn't want me punished... probably will be anyways. Thoughts? |
t3_2crs4b | relationships | Me [24 M] Too picky? | In an attempt to get out a bit more, meet some new people, and see if anything develops I have tried online dating (some 'proper' sites as well as less formal ones).
As expected, I put in some information about myself, and properties that I would like my potential partner/SO to have. For the record, I am straight.
So to cut to the chase, I've been chatting online and progressed to meeting for real with a few different girls. Despite being 'matched' and getting along okay while talking before we meet, there hasn't been any sparks flying when we've gone out for dinner/drinks.
I am concerned that I'm setting what I want in a potential partner too high. I don't want to go into too much detail about qualities/habits/interests, but my ideal partner would be someone who I could treat as an intellectual, physical and emotional equal.
Obviously physical attraction has to be there too. I'm certainly not expecting (or even wanting) her to be a supermodel (for a few reasons, but partly because I'm no Fabio/Robert Downey Jnr/etc myself), but I feel that feeling an attraction also based on looks isn't unfair or asking too much.
I am aware that there may be some things that I'm doing wrong, but I feel that with each real life meet up I get a bit better at the whole process.
I greatly appreciate your feedback. | How picky is too picky? Are there some things that are more important than others? |
t3_1u08te | relationships | I 26/m am having an issue with my two m/26 friends. | My friend lives in Australia, he comes once a year for a short visit. He always wants to spend a lot of time at a local bar. going to any bar makes me uncomfortable I don't like the cost of alcohol, how crowded they are, the noise and since they both smoke going outside every 10 minutes to smoke.
also if I am not drinking 100% of the time we're there he gets mad. I tried to politely tell him no once and he gave me a huge guilt trip. my other friend is kinda split he doesn't like the bar the first friend likes but any other bar is fine. if I try to decline going they get mad and accuse me of all kinds of nonsense. I don't know how to deal with them. | Friend loves going to bars and I am opposite he gets mad if I say no. |
t3_157tsl | relationships | Dad (37) got drunk and verbally abused me (16, F) | Backstory: Parents divorced for nearly a decade. I lived with my mom for a while. I developed a drug habit and started physically abusing my little brother (13), and I knew I couldn't go on hurting people, so I moved in with my dad.
Tonight, he came home smashed from a Christmas party (he's a "recovering" alchoholic). It started out with him being loud and jokey, but he was being an ass, and I called him on it. Then, we sat down and started talking about our Christmas plan.
It was going fine until he asked what I got my brother for Christmas. It never occured to me-I have no spending money. I told him and he asked "When were you gonna tell me? When were you gonna fucking bring it up?" I said "I don't know, dad." and it went back and forth like that for a few minutes before I said "I'm going to bed."
I shut my door and leaned against it (in case he tried to get in), and I sat there while he said "You're a bad person for what you did to your brother, how could you do that to him, on Christmas you get fuck all, Jake and I are going out to eat Christmas dinner and you can sit here and play your shitty records and cut yourself. You treat your brother like shit. I am so ashamed to have you as a daughter."
I didn't say anything. He hasn't said anything else.
How do I approach this tomorrow? | Just read it, it's not long. |
t3_17p723 | AskReddit | How do I stop myself from caring about what others think/say about me? | I put up a good front, I act like I don't care what people think of me but it eats me up inside. It's not really strangers I care about, it's family. And right now it's my in laws. I won't go into too much detail, but I have some people in my husband's family that like to talk shit about me (Although I have done nothing...except delete them off facebook for being bitches, and they got all upset over that.) for stupid reasons and although I know they are being immature, it still bothers me. I've talked to my husband about it and he has talked to his father (One of them is his dad's wife) And both of them said I just need to ignore it. And I'm trying, but I just want to scream! Is there anything I can do to help myself? | read title. |
t3_301hsc | legaladvice | I want to sue Starbucks. I think I have a good case, don't know what type of lawyer to get. | My $1500 macbook was stolen from a Starbucks, while I was sitting in front of it (I hadn't left it unattended). A man shoved me, grabbed it, and ran away. I immediately filed a police case, and the manager said it was all caught on camera.
A couple weeks later, the sergeant handling my case said he reviewed the security footage, but couldn't find anything. I asked to see it - it was from the wrong day, possibly wrong time. My theft occurred on Nov. 26, at 6PM - it was dark outside. In the footage Starbucks gave the police, it was bright daylight outside. The sergeant agreed it was the wrong footage, and said he would request the correct footage from Starbucks.
Now, four months later, I get this email from the sergeant:
*After numerous calls and emails to Starbucks security trying to follow up on the status of my second video request I finally received an email back from them. It appears that Starbucks never followed up on their request for their vendor to go back out and re pull the video. Now unfortunately the video recorder has since been over written and the video from the incident is no longer available. This means I no longer have any further investigative leads to follow at this time. I will be speaking to Starbucks security and let them know that because they failed to follow through with a simple video request, they have seriously impacted my ability to solve this case. I wish I had better new for you. Your case will remain Open but inactive at this time.*
Starbucks has definitely interfered with a police department's attempts to solve a case.
What do you guys think? A civil litigation attorney? Can you suggest a lawyer? (I live in San Francisco.) | Starbucks first provided completely wrong security footage, then did not follow through with a second request for the correct footage. |
t3_27t9ke | tifu | TIFU by leaving my blanket outside. | So, I went to bed last night with the intention of doing laundry once I woke up. Well, when I woke up I didn't have the energy to get out of bed so I ended up falling asleep again. Fast forward an hour and I'm on my way out the door because I'm going to be late for school. Before I left I decided to take my blanket outside and hang it on our fence to air out, since I could no longer wash it.
Fast forward once more, I got home from school about an hour ago and grab my blanket. I bring it inside and place it on my bed. An hour goes by and I feel something crawling on my leg, I look down and it's a mother fucking cankerworm ( ) So I throw it off my leg and get off my bed as fast as I could. I look down on my blanket and there has to be at least seven of these things. | woke up late, put my blanket outside, brought it inside after many hours, didn't check it properly. It had a family of worms on it. |
t3_2r4pxw | books | How to overcome my reading wanderlust? | I love reading, but I have a problem: about a third of the way into a book, I find myself dreaming about the next book I'm going to read. It gets so distracting that I find I don't even want to finish my current book, even if I'm enjoying it!
I find this happens mostly with non-fiction (probably because it can't draw you in the way fiction can), and I was wondering if anyone had any tips on how to overcome it? Because of this, I usually have about 4 books on the go at any one time and they all remain with just one third read. | I'm four-timing all my books and would like to get out of the habit. |
t3_xbm7b | dating_advice | Does anyone have any advice for dating someone who has a child when you are childless? | Here's a quick backstory. I have been single for a year since my last relationship which was three years long. We were planning on getting married but she dumped me and it was a bad breakup. I wanted to take some time to work on myself and I now am ready to give a relationship a go again.
I recently met this girl that I was immediately attracted to but was hesitant since she has an infant child. I am 22 while she is 21. I tried not to pursue anything but I really can't help it. We have so much in common and I love hanging out with her. I do eventually want to get married and have children but I'm not sure if I am in over my head with her having a child.
The father is involved and they do have joint custody so she does have a lot of free time. Basically everything is telling me I shouldn't get involved but I haven't felt so strongly towards someone in a long time and is it fair to disregard someone just because they have a child? | I am falling for someone who has a child while I am childless and am worried I am in over my head. |
t3_22vtyk | relationships | I [19 F] need some help forgetting my first love. | I dated this person for 2 years, he was my first interest and boyfriend. We had been friends since the age of 12. It ended badly with him being manipulative, actually hitting me once, doing things that I only understood how wrong they were once I was out of it.
He lied since we started seeing each other and I only knew when he broke up with me and I could finally see what was going on.
This was a year ago, my brain knows that person is terrible, I should never contact him again since we even ended badly because he kept denying things and accusing me. I know I shouldn't miss this person so much and feel so empty but I can't control it.
Some times for months maybe I'll forget it happened and then I'll dream we get back together and it just ruins my day, I can't get attached to anyone else due to that, I just don't know what to do. It's so stupid. | Feelings for abusive ex. |
t3_1gwki3 | AskReddit | Ladies of Reddit, what do you want to happen when you constantly make awkward eye contact with a younger guy at a party? | Tonight I went with my older friend to a party with his friends. I'm only 19 and the people at this house had to have all been at least 24+. I'm a nervous guy with an anxiety disorder, and kept making eye contact with this woman. She was the most absolutely beautiful, human being I've ever had the privilege to lay my eyes on. The whole night she kept undressing me with her eyes, I could feel her watching me. I'm entirely too shy, and only have confidence after a drink. But unfortunately I was at a party where anyone under 21 could not drink. (Not really unfortunate, I'm glad they were responsible.) Basically, I'm drunk, and just want to know how I should have handled this, like what may have possibly been on her mind. What do women want the man to do in this situation? | I'm a pussy, what do women want young shy men to say when they know they should go talk to them? |
t3_2oda3m | tifu | TIFU by making a cop's wife think her life was in danger | As with so many TIFUs, it wasn't today, but when I was a young, innocent, stupid middle schooler. My father had just returned from a business trip and brought me something that was shortly going to catch on in a big way: a laser pointer! Why he thought a 13-year old needed a laser pointer is unclear, he probably just assumed I was going to play with the cat with it. And I did! But then I thought to myself, if I can get a cat to chase this, how will people react? I waited until dusk and then decided to find out. I lived in a townhouse, and there was a fair amount of foot traffic past our house. Most people seemed confused, and my favorite was when I got an old man to walk in circles chasing the little red dot. It was hilarious for me, and dusk soon turned to dark. My neighbor across the street, the wife of a police officer, came home, her arms full of groceries. I pointed my laser on the door at about eye level. She stared at it for a while, then quickly went inside. Not much later, her husband, the cop shows up at the door, and he is *pissed*. What I thought was a funny prank was interpreted as the laser sight of a gun. She had spent the time from my prank to the arrival of her husband terrified and hiding in her house, certain she was about to be murdered because of her husband's profession, and he had to leave work to make sure she wasn't. I got a lecture from him and had to promise not to do that any more, but essentially got off scot-free. My parents didn't take away my laser. | Middle school me playing with a laser pointer accidentally made a cop's wife think her murder was imminent and made her husband rush home to save her. |
t3_3ll6xn | tifu | TIFU By going to work on time | So I work as a low level manager at a pharmacy chain and I go to work regularly on Saturdays from 2-10. Usually I come in late because I am friends with the manager that works the morning shift and they don't mind that I am a bit late now and again. Today I decided that I was going to be on time and left 30 mins early drove through chick fil a and got to work about 5 minutes early. I soon find out that the store is in chaos mode, way more customers then usual, the cashier hasn't gotten her 30 minute break, and there is no one in the pharmacy so the other cashier has to work the pharmacy registers. After giving the cashier their break and enduring the horde of angry customers the chaos dies down only to get a phone call from my mother. For background I live in a suburban neighborhood were nothing has ever happened in 21 years of living there. Apparently the crazy guy that lives across from me decided that today was the day he was going to hold his wife hostage via gunpoint. So my entire street is blocked off and a real life episode of Law and Order is occurring on my front lawn (house of crazy guy is directly across from mine) and I get to sit here asking people if they got their flu shot or not. | Went to work early store is in chaos and if I hadn't gone would have witness hostage situation in my front lawn. |
t3_yjala | loseit | In honour of reaching the 10lbs lost mark, I made a flowchart with my very own super-advanced patented (not really) strategy for not eating. | [DrDerpberg's super-awesome Procrastineating Strategy^TM !](
This flowchart is somewhere between my typical daily eating strategy (namely, delaying the bulk of my eating for as long as possible so that I can stuff my face without going over my limit) and an "emergency" decision tree when you are having trouble getting your cravings under control (i.e.: it's the middle of the afternoon and you want to eat, but you already had lunch, supper's in 2 hours, and you still want space for that bed time snack). I find that what works best for me is to **delay** eating as much as possible, give into cravings with food I should be eating anyway, and to eat filler foods or low-calorie foods instead of crap if I really can't resist eating but there isn't much space left in my intake budget.
Anyway, let me know what you think. I won't claim this is the end-all diet strategy (despite the catchy title which I know is worth millions, so don't try to lowball me if you try to buy it off me >:-[ ), but this works for me and if it helps people get started that would be awesome. I didn't succeed in losing any weight until I started to work with my own habits rather than against them. | Hungry? Try doing stuff -> drink stuff -> eat good stuff -> lift stuff (exercise) -> eat bad stuff in extremely limited quantities and only within your budget. |
t3_38ti4o | relationships | Me [19 M] and my (now ex) girlfriend [19 F] live in different cities for summer, found out she's been lying | So, I had a girlfriend for 6 months at university, but we live in different cities over the summer. We agreed it'd be best if we broke up over the summer, since it's 4 months apart, but decided to stay friends. We broke up at the start of May.
After we break up, we transition into being friends nicely. About a month after the breakup (this morning), she tells me a guy at her job, has been flirting with her. I give her some advice about how to deal with it. Just as the conversation is coming to an end, she tells me, "oh, also, I had sex with him last week."
So of course I'm taken aback, since that's not really something that's ever okay, and I didn't even ask to hear about it.
The worst part is, that very weekend she was upset at me for "seeming as if I moved on", which made me feel like total shit. When realistically, she was already fucking some other guy.
We were always very open with each other, but at this point I'm starting to feel like she's just trying to make sure I don't see other people, while she goes around hooking up with strangers.
My question is, what do I do in this situation? I thought we were good friends, but now it just makes me question everything. I'm more upset with that she lied to make me feel bad when she was banging another guy, and having never been in this position before, I don't know what to do.
Finally, I'm a group leader with her for something in September when school starts up again, and I don't know how I'm going to be able to face her. Please help! | broke up with girlfriend, she got pissed at me for seeming like I moved on, turns out she was fucking some guy all along. Help with how to deal with this. |
t3_2uwiv0 | relationships | My [19F] boyfriend says he [20M] doesn't know if he cares about me | My boyfriend and I have been together a few months now and although we got off to a rough start due to some mental health issues, things were going okay. Lately we'd been stressed about finding jobs and bickering about dumb stuff, and it just feels as though he doesn't care about me, or he doesn't know how to communicate that he does. He doesn't compliment me very often, or do anything related to the 5 Love Languages despite taking the tests. We were arguing and I asked him why he doesn't do anything to show he cares, and he said he didn't know. I asked if he wanted to be with me and he says he doesn't know. He says he doesn't know if he has the capacity to care about someone in a relationship, and that he thought he cares but now he doesn't know because I explained to him how he should show he cares and he didn't know it required so much effort. I'm so heartbroken because it feels like he isn't even trying to fix anything or that he cares enough to. | Boyfriend doesn't know if he cares/doesn't seem to want to make the effort to. I've never felt more alone. |
t3_22357r | relationships | Me [19F] with my crush [19m] of a semester, need to get over my shyness. | I have a really big crush on this boy, but i can't seem to get over my shyness when I want to talk to him. It's nearing the end of the semester, and he'll be going back home for the summer (I'm local). I want to get to know him and see where things go.
What are your strategies to get over shyness with a crush?
More detail ok: We're in the same major, and therefore many of the same classes. It's an intensive major, so there's the factor that if he doesn't feel the same way, I would still have to see him everyday. Sometimes i'm afraid of this, but most of the time I'm not even worried. I admire his work and his goals, and he's really interesting to talk to. I know what i want to say to him, but I can never bring myself to just say it, and when I do talk to him, i'm afraid that what i say comes off as mean or apathetic and boring.
When I first developed my physical crush on him (he smells so damn good), It was so easy to be myself around him. But the more I think about him, the less courage I have to talk to him. I get so frustrated with myself whenever I get the chance to talk to him but don't. I haven't been this shy for a long time, and I hate it. Please help me break my curse!
[apologies in advance if this doesn't make any sense, i'm on the eastcoast, where it's four in the morning] | being shy around my crush frustrates me so much. How do I break this curse? |
t3_3dgehx | relationships | broke up with bf of 6 years. What do I do now? | We're each other's first serious relationship. We've been together since 2009 (19 and 20 years old). We were basically part of each other's family. He visited and stayed with family in the Philippines, that's how serious we were.
Recently, things have unfolded and everything went downhill. I'm getting over it and would love to give us another chance, yet he's not even trying to get over it. He's made his decision and is pretty stubborn about it. He admits a part of him would like to get back together, yet his mind does not. He wants to stay friends, but I don't think I can do that. It hurts way too much.
What do I do with my time now? We were both each other's lives. Help Reddit, I'm lost and afraid. | break up after a 6 year relationship, don't know how to get over him |
t3_2zjgft | tifu | TIFU by trusting my best friend | Now this happened a few months ago, just a disclaimer.
Lately, money had gone missing from various peoples houses and the only real similarity was that my friend, lets call him Lucas, had been going around each of them. He was leaving for Denmark soon and he decided to have a massive farewell party. As things had been pretty rocky before he left between us, we decided to just even things out when he came over. We had fun, played league- all around a good time until he left when my maid found out that 100$ had gone missing. Of course i called him up and he denied it even though it was obvious as we had security systems installed in our kitchen.
Anyway, the next day was suppose to be his farewell party, and we were all invited. Because i was spiteful to him stealing from me, I decided that I wasn't going, but I also didnt want anyone else to go. So i pulled a dick move and got everyone to not come because of what he did and while doing so i told him to buy a lot of booze since we were coming.
A few hours before we were supposed to show up, he snapchatted all of us a picture of all the booze, easily 600$ in stuff not including the snacks and mixes he bought.
I felt guilty but a part of me justified it as he had stolen from us all. So come a couple of hours and he messages all of us wondering where we are and doesnt get a reply. The next day he leaves and non of us have spoken to him since.
I fucked up because even though he stole from my friends and I, I still dont think it was very nice having nobody show up to your farewell party and its been bothering me for a while so it feels good to come clean. | best friend" stole from me and co. I get everyone to skip his farewell party, he leaves the country alone with no goodbyes. |
t3_18gv8y | relationships | Should I [f22] get my ex-bf [m20] a gift for Valentines day since we are trying to work things out again? | We dated for 2 years in college and broke up in September for silly reasons, we both just wanted a few months to be ourselves and work on other friendships. We remained friends through the breakup and never had any fights or drama. He recently decided he wants to try things again, and we've been "dating" for about a week. For Valentines day, he has been leaving me elaborate bouquets of roses at my door every morning, starting this Monday. I have not gotten him anything, because we only decided to try things again a week ago, and I'm still unsure about my feelings. Should I do something for him? | Ex wants to get back together, buying me elaborate valentines gifts, should I do something in return? |
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