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t3_m3o34 | AskReddit | Reddit, Will you help me? REWARD: Reddit Gold | **Back Story:** My wife was involved in a traffic accident where she was backed into while sitting a stop light. The guy and his wife that backed into her were very nice and the cops showed up shortly after. The cops told my wife that there was no need to fill out a police report. We are in Kansas and it is a "no fault" state. The cop told her that it would be worked out through the insurance companies. My wife asked what information she needed and he told her "just his name and policy number". So they exchanged info and my wife left.
**Problem:** We only have his name and insurance policy number but not the name of his insurance company, his phone number or license plate number.
**Challenge:** To find the correct insurance company that the policy number is attached to.
**Facts:**
* Accident happened in Kansas
* My wife believes that the insurance company listed a St Louis, MO address
* His policy number is in the following format; Policy # "A6-#######" (the format is "A6" a dash (-) and then 7 numbers)
**Reward:** I will donate "Reddit Gold for 2 months" to the first person that can provide the insurance company that this guy uses based off the information available.
**More Info:** I will not put any of his personal info on blast, because he did nothing wrong. He gave my wife all of his info but she only copied down his name and policy number (she feels like an idiot but she was doing what the cop told her). I have extensively searched for any info that my lead me to contact him. My insurance company and the cops have nothing to help me out so far. His vehicle was not damaged so I am guessing that he may not contact his insurance company. I am trying to avoid paying my detectable and having my insurance raised for an accident that is not our fault. | traffic accident, wife only got guys name and policy number, if you can find the insurance company I will donate reddit gold… |
t3_1vrxr7 | tifu | TIFU by wearing too short of a skirt | May not be as big as some of you guy's stories, but I'm here to share. I go to a public school with a kinda strict dress code. Khaki jeans/pants, skirts, or shorts. certain length of coarse. & a white or navy polo shirt. No hoodies/ sweatshirts allowed except the schools, & belts are required. Anyways, I bought a skirt finally to wear to school & as it was too long, I tried to hem it. For my first time, it turned out decent but I cut it too short. Most girls at my school wear them short but mine wasn't acceptable. Dont get me wrong, I looked cute but it was pretty short. I wore a jacket I had to help cover it but without fail, my first hour teacher wrote me up & sent me to the office. The older lady who works there & our discipline instructer made a big deal about it. I told them I knew it was pretty short & I figured this would happen & apologized. Office workers & students (mostly girls) glared at me. I felt uncomfortable to begin with walking around campus but this made it 10x worse. I had to walk back to my classroom to grab my stuff only to find people staring & watching me. I walked back to the office & waited for my stepfather to come pick me up. I grabbed a checkout slip & told the student worker thankyou only to hear her mock me as I walked out the building. I could hear the girls talk about me & I honestly can't get it out of my head. I went to r/hownottogiveafuck & read some stuff there & it is kinda helping me. Ive always been pretty worried about always looking good & not slipping up due to my mother. So, I've always had some anxiety. Over the years though my friends have helped me get better at this so, it is not at as bad. Going to get another skirt today & try again. This time with the right measurements. | Wore skirt I hemmed too short to strict dress code public school, got talked about & stared at by girl students & office staff. |
t3_33rnez | tifu | TIFU getting drunk for the first time | So I'm a Muslim, or atleast, I was born muslim. But I don't really care anymore.
I have had alcohol before, but less than a glass worth full of alcohol. I've never had my own bottle or can of alcohol.
So I went to a party earlier today and I'm like "Yeah I'm drinking tonight, but I'm waiting a while before I get a drink", and then I proceed to take sips of alcohol from my friends.
One friend asks me whether I'd like her bottle (after I've taken a sip), I say "meh, why not" and I continue to finish the bottle (half left) and then I finish a second bottle.
During this time I also have random people's drinks to try theirs out (random people = my friends, but nobody in particular) - most of theirs were really strong.
Nevertheless, I'm drunk.
So I'm in one of the rooms and I get out my phone. Ooh my crush replied to one of my texts. I realise I'm drunk, I reply to my message and I give my phone to my sober friend to make sure I don't fuck up with it.
My crush's best friend's were beside me when I replied to her text, and they asked me "ayyy is something going on with {crushname}?", and I be like "maybe, maybe not".
One thing leads to another and several *more* people find out, including her best friends. Fuck my life.
I spend almost the rest of the night regretting what I did by saying "I fucked up". But I'm still drunk, so for a very long time I'm very sad and several people came to my aid and tried to work their wonders.
Eventually they convinced me that yes I did mess up by letting 90% of people in that house know I like {crush}, but hey, I'll need to tell her eventually. I am obviously scared of rejection, but that closure is all I need to move on.
Closure.
Now I need to tell her I like her before someone else does, and I'm sure someone will tell her before the end of the weekend. | got drunk, told people i like my crush, now i have to tell my crush i like her on monday |
t3_rcwxo | relationship_advice | Asking a guy out | So, I went to a concert last night and met a guy. He's a friend of a friend, we talked, made out, exchanged phone numbers, went our separate ways. Our mutual friend kept texting me to try to get me to go back out with them after the show (I went to a friend's house and then went home). I turned them down, I was tired and had to get up early. So I texted this guy and told him that I wasn't blowing him off, that I was really tired and needed to sleep but that he should call me sometime. He didn't reply. So how long should I wait for him to call before I call him? There's another show Friday and I was thinking about asking if he wanted to go, so should I wait until, say, Wednesday or Thursday and then ask if I haven't heard from him?
We are both mid-thirty's and I've never gone after a guy before, just waited for them to come to me. My friend said this guy is shy around girls, so I have a feeling I'm going to have to be a bit more aggressive than I normally am and have no idea what to do. | Met a guy, he's shy. Don't know how to peruse him without coming off as a psycho-stalker. |
t3_43ghbh | relationships | Me [25 M] anxious about meeting GF [23 F] parents for the first time | Her parents are Chinese and very strict. I'm white like all her previous BF have been, which may very well be a deal breaker for her folks. She told me they "prefer" a Chinese boyfriend but I suspect it's not merely a preference. When one of her boyfriends was a good looking engineer and still fell short of whatever impossibly high standards her parents have set, well I have to think they are going to hate me. Yes I'm attractive and my body is like a 10, but I know parents care more about financial prospects and stability for their daughter. My financial analyst career is off to a decent start but I'm no chemical engineer or doctor.
Is there some type of universal gesture to win the hearts of any parent? I'm so worried about this dinner that I've been studying ways to effectively brainwash people. I'm going to always project myself in a positive manner while subtly and inconspicuously repeating my main points several times over the course of a conversation using different phrases that all mean the same thing. I will mention how my career is starting exceptionally strong and the future prospects for advancement are very promising if not definite. I will mirror their body language and explain that having a loving family is my #1 goal and priority in the near future, and that I'm open to raising children based on the cultural preference of my wife. etc.
Any other tips? | My GF chinese parents always disapprove of her white boyfriends (I'm white) how can I win them over? I'm not above manipulation tactics and brainwashing techniques. |
t3_2jf47w | relationships | I [25m] don't feel particularly unhappy, but I feel heart achingly lonely every night and have done for the last 2 years | I'm a 24 year old university student, about to graduate from a degree that I really enjoy. I have a lot of great things in my life. I have close friends, enjoy a lot of hobbies and have had the opportunity to travel frequently. Generally I feel deeply thankful about my life and optimistic about so many aspects of it.
But almost every single night I lay in bed for anywhere from 30 minutes to hours and can almost physically feel my chest aching. I feel so lonely and want a companion to share life with so badly.
I spent from about age 15 - 22 being in and out of pretty long term relationships. The last 2 years feel are I guess the longest amount of time I've spent single for a long time.
I don't know, I know that I could go out and meet people and try to start dating more seriously, but I'm afraid that I'm approaching the situation from an insecurity and looking to avoid this ache of loneliness.
I feel so tired of it, I feel like I'm never going to be a whole person who is comfortable being single and is non needy. | I have an objectively good life but feel so deeply lonely. I'm scared I'll never be independent, comfortable alone or non needy. |
t3_ndc2m | BreakUps | Going to break up with my BF of 1.5+ years in a couple days. Need advice/support. | Throwaway because my bf knows my reddit account.
I (19/F) in an open LDR with my boyfriend (19/M) and it isn't working for me.
After my first date with another man, I confessed to him that I was in an open relationship. However, I was unable to articulate to him why it was beneficial for me, and what I personally got out of it in general. I realized that my personality does not mesh with polyamory all that well and that I needed to end my open relationship.
I have therefore decided to break up with my boyfriend upon my return from college.
This is going to really suck for him because he's been thinking about me and missing me for months. He even bought me some sex toys as a "welcome back" gift that he's now going to have to return.
It's also going to really suck for me for four reasons.
1) My boyfriend's a "rational guy." This means that he never gives an emotional justification the same weight as a rational one. I'm going to have to tell him *exactly* why polyamory does not work for me without any qualifications to it. I know already that his first step is going to be to try to deny and invalidate my experiences because he's done it before.
2) He has abusive parents and so he sometimes says things that border on verbal abuse without thinking about it. Since I'm going to be basically giving him and all the time that he spent missing me a giant 'fuck you,' I'm worried that he will not take that well. He could really fuck me up emotionally or perhaps even physically.
3) My best friend is in a relatively stable, monogamous LDR. I can't help but feel like I am weak, or a bad lover, because I have been unable to work out my LDR as well as him.
4) I have never hurt someone before. I'm not kidding. I used to be a total doormat in HS to both my boyfriend and everyone else that I cared about. This is uncharted territory for me. | Breaking up with my boyfriend because polyamory doesn't work for me. Worried that neither of us will take it well. I need help. |
t3_42fvq8 | relationships | Gary [29 M] with [26 F] 4 months, broke up because i cheated in a previous relationship.tl:dr summary/question! | I have recently split up with my girlfriend (Anna) of only 4 months because i cheated on my previous girlfriend (Sarah). My ex (Sarah) and I were together for 4 years, 3 happy, 1 not. Since that relationship ended i have been single for 3 years. With smaller relationships between then i have always been upfront about my feelings so that the same thing never happens again.
I told my recent girlfriend (Anna) about my previous indiscretion after 1 month of us dating. She was shocked at first but said that she was just happy i told her and never mentioned it again.
Things were going perfectly until this weekend when she broke up with me. She suffers with depression of which she told me about 2 months ago and her mother is now very ill. She says that when she is low, she focuses on the negative parts of her life. She wants time to try and get over what i told her and focus on her mother. She told me about 2 months ago that she loves me.
I love her very much. She is the most amazing person i have ever met. I have only ever had 2 serious relationships prior to this one. I am completely besotted with her and am devastated with the break up. I am obviously not going to try to convince her to stay with me for now, she has other things that are of higher importance.
To my shame, I told my previous girlfriend (Sarah) to her face what i had done. And have never shied away from the fact i have cheated. I was devastated to see her hurt so badly, even though i no longer loved her, and i knew then that i would never do it again. I developed anxiety and insomnia, among other things after i told her.
I realise that i have made my bed and now i must lay in it. But i am looking for advice about how i can convince her i am changed. Obviously that depends on if / when she wants to start again.
And also, if this relationship is indeed over, how i can break the subject of me cheating with a future partner.
Thanks, Gary | Girlfriend broke up with me because of a previous indiscretion in another relationship. |
t3_1z861l | relationships | [22M] with girl confusion issue. Avoiding me one minute and friends the next? | Girl I like is in a class with me, I started slow with small talk, ended up giving her my number and she also gave me hers. I end up asking her out on the 14th in which I get a yes but the plans fell through on both ends.
Here is my problem. I text her and it will be fine one minute, the next I get ignored, I talk to her and shes extremely friendly, the next minute it seems she is avoiding me. I am guessing she doesn't have feelings for me which is fine, but I would still like to be her friend as we are so similar in many ways but I just don't get the whole avoidance thing that happens every now and then.
What could be the cause of this? If I am doing something, I am unaware of it. This has never happened to me before with girls but at the same time, she is the first very quiet person like myself that I have fallen for. I thought of confronting her but at this point it is annoying me so badly that I am just thinking of giving up. | This girl is super friendly one minute and then seems to avoid me the next. It's bothering me so much that I was thinking of giving up, should I confront her about it or would that possibly over complicate things? What are some possible reasons for her doing this? |
t3_mpwvx | dating_advice | Not sure if she feels the same... | So I recently started going out with this girl, about a week ago. Both 16, she turns 17 in a few weeks. Prior to me asking her out and whatnot, we had been hanging out at a mutual friends house. The first night I met her, we watched a movie and cuddled throughout the entire night. I had just met her but I immediately knew that I liked her a lot. The following friday, we hung out again at the same friends house and again proceeded to cuddle the entire night. At this point, I was feeling pretty confident that she liked me. Anyways, so the following week was our friends birthday which we were both at and after dinner, went back to our friends house where AGAIN we proceeded to cuddle the entire night. Later that night on the way home, I asked her out and she said yes. The following night we hungout, kissed, all that jazz. The next couple of days go by, we dont see each other because we're at different schools only a few minutes away from each other, and then thanksgiving break begins and we both go away. We've been texting a lot, but I'm always the one to initiate the conversation. I told her that i missed her, because I do, and she said she missed me too. I asked her if she wanted to hangout when I got back and she said, "Sure". Thats it. I was hoping for a, "that sounds great!" or something along those lines. But all I got was a "sure". I think she still likes me and wants to continue going out with me, it's just im feeling like im not getting that response from her via text. | I really like my gf and it doesnt seem like im getting the same feelings from her in return. |
t3_3ur99i | tifu | Tifu by not understanding what a poo pusher was | This fuck up has actually been happening for 6 years 3-7 times a day since I was 13. while in primary school around the age of 8, two of my friends came up to me and asked if I pushed out my poo.. I replied 'yes..' they then asked 'so you push your poo that makes you a poo pusher, right? I replied 'yessss, and what?' they both went away laughing leaving me confused and self conscious about how I poo. So after that day, I never pushed out a poo, I just let it slop out with very minimal pushing. then a little while ago I had a shower thought and relised a poo pusher is a homosexual male. damn. no wonder I shat so much. | didn't realise what a poo pusher was, have been shitting wrong most of my life. |
t3_3742l6 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of a year, I fell in love with the personality of a girl that I no longer feel physical attraction towards. | We went to the same high school. however, she moved about 8 hours away for college. A year and a half ago I ran into her when she back home. We exchanged numbers and started texting and calling. it quickly progressed to the point where if had any free time I would call her. We talk every day for at least 2 or 3 hours or more. I honestly do love her. She makes me so happy.
However, I went to see her february and felt little to no physical attraction. then I left thinking I should end it but since she's not there and I love speaking with her I fell right back into talking to her hoping the physical would come later. That continued until last week when she came back from school. Once again I felt nothing. I really do want to be into her but I am just not. Now I am stuck because I love her, talking is nice and I don't want to hurt her. So I don't break it off. Also, I am kind of scared to end it because her personality is perfect for me. I am scared I'll never find someone as great as her.
I dont know what to do. should I end it? if so should I just lie and tell her the distance is the problem to keep from damaging her self-confidence? | Should I stick around and hope the attraction comes or should I just end it before I make the situation worse? |
t3_1f2nnr | relationships | Disagreement on bed sheets | My boyfriend [M21] and I [F23] are moving in together soon (we've been together for about 2 years) and we're taking my bed and bed set. The thing is, I have satin sheets that I love (I love sleeping on things with a silky feel, even my pajamas are silky), but my boyfriend hates them. He doesn't like them because he slides around too much.
My question is, does anybody have an alternative to silk/satin sheets that he will like because he doesn't slip around and that I will also like because they have that similar feeling to silk/satin?
Also, we both hate cotton sheets. | I like my silk sheets and my boyfriend hates them. What's a good compromise for us? |
t3_r0me2 | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, what are some tips for avoiding mistakes as a newbie composer/songwriter? | I'm starting to plan how to propose to my girlfriend, and a long time ago she mentioned that when she was younger she fantasized about having a rock star propose to her in song (was friend-zoned at that point). Now, a couple years (and defriend-zoning) later, one of our inside jokes is a really simple but annoying jingle she made up that often gets stuck in my head. Given that it's catchy, I decided to try to turn it into a song, if it turns out well, I'll see if I can make that little girl fantasy come true.
Now here's the rub, I just started playing piano last year. I'm not terribly good, but I have a decent grasp of how to use the thing. I also took some classes on music theory a long time ago in school, so I have a passing knowledge of how music works, chords, progressions, keys, reading music, etc.
Now, with that said, I am completely new to composing music from scratch, and though I also have a bit of a poetry background from college, I've never written song lyrics either. So, Reddit, I know there must be some of you out there who are good at this sort of thing, and some of you probably even make your living doing this. What are some common and stupid mistakes I should avoid making? What are some things that newbies make? Is there anything I can do to make my end product sound more professional and flawless?
I do have an incredibly talented and knowledgeable music teacher who is helping me out, but I don't get to see them very often, so most of the onus is on me. I really need your help, Reddit! | I'm writing a song to propose to my girlfriend, and I need your help! Also, read the title. |
t3_27a1pd | tifu | TIFU by sending an email | TIFU. This wasn't exactly today, but it was still a pretty bad incident. While I was 13, I was in school and during one of the lessons we had to go to an I.T. room with tons of computers.
So there was me, sitting on the computer with Gmail open (our school has custom emails) and I felt like being immature. I started composing an email just to see all the recipients that I could send an email to. I put random letters (e.g. doiasodj) in the subject and message because I had no idea what to think of. Anyway, while looking through the recipients I saw "partnered schools" (if you don't know what these are those are schools that are in a community with the school I was at). I clicked on it and showed my friend it and we laughed a bit, but my friend is kind of a dick so he sent it. We laughed and thought nothing of it, but then I realised what he had done. He had sent an email composed by me containing spam to partnering schools.
The next day, I had Geography. Unfortunately, my teacher for Geography was the head of the current year (which was Year 8). At the end of the lesson, he wanted me to stay behind, and I got told off pretty damn bad for what I did, I had a detention and was kept behind for an after-school.
So yeah. | sent spam email to other school because of friend, got told off bad. |
t3_1dbw1p | travel | I'm driving across Canada and the Northern US. What should I do on the way! | I'm a young Canadian who has decided to uproot and move across the country. I'm currently in Labrador City, NL and need to drive myself across the country to Fort McMurray (or thereabouts). Thankfully, I've set myself up to be able to take my time about it (about 3-4 weeks).
What can I absolutely, no questions, not miss out on? Where should I just say to hell with it and keep driving?
I have a route in mind (I'll list below) but it's entirely negotiable as long as I'm not going ridiculous out of my way. I have fairly sufficient funds to be comfortable as long as I'm not pretending I'm a high roller. I'm a young gay man, but have been managing a bar in a tiny mining town for a year (I like to have fun, and I can get along with almost all walks of life). I love the power of mother nature to awe and amaze. Architectural achievements I consider to be testaments to what man is capable of (skyscrapers and bridges make me hot). Historically significant regions are exciting.
I've done a bit of travel, but nothing near as extensive as what I'm planning right now. And never for such a long time by myself. And not by vehicle... I really do intend on winging it to a certain degree (obviously), take what comes and make the best of whatever the situation. That said, what are some things I should keep in mind on my journey? Tips for a long road trip? | I'm driving from Labrador City, NL to Fort McMurray, AB. Where should I go along the way? Where should I not go? This is my first long road trip by myself. What should I do to survive? What should I not? |
t3_276yyk | relationships | Me [22 M] with my Girlfriend [24 F] 8 months, girlfriend overeating because i "look at girls", accusing me of lying. | * | Girlfriend thinks because I look at other people from time to time it means I don't love her/ Thinks I'm a liar for not telling her |
t3_1gmeph | dating_advice | I [29/M] am that has a crush on a [f/40] at my work. | Hello, I need some advice on whether a female coworker likes me. First, I am male 29 years old and she is 40 years old. We have been working together for several years but recently I have felt she has been flirting with me. She has always been concerned with my well being and gave me a gift when I graduated from grad school over a year ago. In addition, the both us of seem to have developed a teasing relationship with each other. We both poke fun at each others faults and eccentricity. This is all in good fun. She is very nice to me and even waited for me once when I left the office a different way. Now, I always considered her a friend and never thought of a romantic relationship but recently I did have a sex dream about her. Ever since I have been wondering if we might have a connection. I want to ask her out I am afraid about ruining the friendship. I am not concerned about her age because I love the fact she is mature, intelligent, and looks great. I find girls my own age immature and all they want to do is get drunk and party.
I got some advice that she does like me but not in a romantic way.
I am wondering what should I do? I posted this before and did not get a lot of responses so I am posting again. Thanks in advance | I [29/M] am that has a crush on a [f/40] at my work. |
t3_2miu71 | relationships | I'm a 24-year-old male who finds it near impossible to maintain relationships with....anyone, really... | So I'm hoping this is the right place to put this. More of a general solicitation of advice with what I'd call a combination of persistent avoidance issues and interpersonal anxiety going back as far as I can remember.
For as long as I can remember, I've always had difficulties in starting and maintaining with relationships. My problem isn't exclusively related to romantic relationships either - even when it comes to friends and family, I find it difficult and exhausting to hold up my end of the bargain. I'll avoid answering texts, find any excuse to avoid getting together with people, those sorts of things. It all just feels like a hassle.
And at the same time, I'm alone...and lonely...and I despise that. I feel caught between a rock and a hard place - my desire to have fruitful, long-lasting relationships with people, and my desire to wallow in solitude and binge on Netflix.
To compound my difficulties, I'm a 24-year-old who invests a huge chunk of his life in his job. It's difficult for me to envision a healthy work-life balance, and it's almost impossible for me to picture myself in the future with a happy, loving family and those sorts of things.
So I suppose my general concern is that this issue will never end. I'm posting here asking for any helpful advice, tips, tricks, or whatever that you kind folks might be willing to offer me. Immersion therapy? Stepping out of the comfort zone? Just do it? I don't know, I'm at somewhat of a loss.
Thanks for reading. | I'm a 24-year-old with life-long avoidance issue and I'm hoping for some advice on what I can do to turn things around. |
t3_3z9bn6 | tifu | TIFU by using my wife's shampoo NSFW? | Today I fucked up pretty bad. Normally I have my own shampoo and my wife has hers. Mine was empty this morning so I decided to use what she had. Hers just happens to have tea tree oil and mint in it. Now when I use shampoo, I use it on my head as well as my manly bits. Aparently the mint combined with the water caused a not so wonderful cooling sensation. I didn't notice it until after I got out of the shower. Now my body feels like it's in my 70 degree apartment, and my balls feel like they are in Siberia. | Tried taking a hot shower, ended up freezing balls off. |
t3_2dzsoj | relationships | My (38M) wife (51F) of 16 years expects bi-annual trips to visit her parents halfway across the country. | We are a family of 5 and we're doing fine financially but I'm really trying to keep our costs under control. My wife really wants us to visit her parents 2,000 miles away every other year. Any way you slice it that is a very expensive trip. I estimate just the travel (flying our driving) will cost about $2,500. Then you have a week's worth of hotels, car rental, eating out and doing things while you're there that easily brings the total to $3,500 - $4,000. That seems like a ton of money to spend on a trip that frankly, nobody in the family is very excited about. Her parents are nice people but small towns in the midwest aren't exactly huge tourist destinations. I'd much rather see that money go towards retirement or college savings (all three of our kids are teenagers).
Her parents come and visit us almost every year so it's not like our kids never see them. I know I'm being a penny pinching grinch, but I'd also like to retire someday! (BTW, my wife doesn't work, she takes care of the kids and house). | Wife wants to spend money visiting relatives that I'd rather save for college/retirement |
t3_r4sds | relationships | Roommate Issue, What Do I Do? | My roommate and I are both female. I am 18, she is 22, and we have been living together in the college dorms since first semester (it is currently second semester). We are assigned roommates, so I didn't know her beforehand. She is a transfer student from South Korea. We don't talk to each other and usually only in the room at the same time during the night.
So here's the deal: Right now it's extremely hot in our room and I can't sleep. Normally I would turn my fan on and have it blowing on me all night, but this morning I read a facebook status my roommate posted (in Korean) that said that she hated my fan and that it was really noisy and she wanted to break it.
I feel bad so I'm kind of scared to turn my fan on. My bed is lofted but hers is not so it is considerably warmer where I am. We have the window open and I'm wearing tank top and shorts pajamas with my hair tied up in a ponytail so there's not much else I can do to keep cool.
So what should I do? Should I just turn my fan on and deal with the guilt, or leave it off and just suffer the heat wave? | It's hotter than heck in my room and my roommate hates my fan because it's noisy. What should I do? |
t3_4m4kx4 | legaladvice | Apartment complex was bought by new management group, everything went to shit (Nevada) | Hi, I am trying to get good legal footing on this, I have contacted a lawyer, but won't have feedback until tomorrow (After 5:00 here) and was hoping you fine experts could help.
1. new apartment owners cut down trees which had been a privacy hedge blocking our windows from the road, increasing traffic noise massively, this - for us, reduced the value of our apartment.
2. they changed the move out policy, they now will ALWAYS charge for carpet cleaning ($100 base fee + extra if it is "too dirty" the old company had a rubric for indication of normal wear and tear new company did not have such a document) in the lease it is described as a security deposit, but the manager on sight insisted that we will be charged no matter what. It is their policy to clean the carpets after every tenant moving out.
3. in March we had a roof leak, it damaged about $200 worth of our stuff, our renters insurance has a $500 deductible so that route isn't worth it. they fought us on actually fixing the leaking roof (They replaced the roof in may, they were replacing all of the complexes roofs) it caused water damage to the cabinets, and we couldn't use those cabinets for two months, they still haven't fully repaired it, and they haven't painted what "Repairs" they did make
4. they increased the cost of utilities which had been included with our rent last september, they changed the entire billing arangement (Water, trash, sewage had all been flat fees, and now they are scaled off of some bullshit equation based on number of square feet and number of people in the apartment, we did not sign anything when they did this)
Is there anything I can do?
Thank you very much. I am sorry I don't have a good | Edit: 13 month Lease. |
t3_34uta8 | relationships | I [26 M] met a girl [21F] this past weekend, and asked her out on a date. I have never experienced such an age gap before and am wondering what to expect. | So this past weekend my family and I had a party to celebrate and watch the big Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight. We had quite a few people over. My best friend and his date brought a friend with them that is 21. During the course of the night we started talking. Eventually the subject of our age came up, and it turns out she just turned 21 a week ago. I'm 26, and am accustomed to dating women either exactly my age or older. It's not that I have a rule or preference when it comes to age, it's simply that the women I meet just happen to be older. I personally don't have a problem with dating someone younger than I.
Since this is new territory for me, I was hoping some of you can enlighten me as to what I should expect with what I believe is a large age gap. In your opinion is this too large of an age gap? Is it weird?
I wish I could give you more details about her, but tomorrow will be our first date, and so I don't really know very much about her yet. | I'm 26, I met a girl who is 21 and have never dated someone 5 years younger than I. I am curious as to whether this is a weirdly large age gap and what I should expect. |
t3_1anjlv | relationships | MY Finacé [26/f] Can't have sex atm, I [27/m] am being offered it elsewhere. Could I ever do this? | 2 Years ago my Fiancé, lets call her Tammy, (together 7 years engaged 2) had an invasive medical procedure. It essentially means penetrative sex is very painful for her and we're having counselling to try and sort it out. There is a solution, but it's taken 2 years to even get her to counselling and who knows how long it'll take. I've always had a high sex drive and we've not had decent sex in almost 3 years now, we talk about it regularly and I've told her it makes me feel ashamed that I have no sex life and it's started to make me feel unhappy. She is very loving and caring and we treat each other well, but tension is obviously present especially with very little in the forms of sexual contact (oral maybe once a week).
To add to my woes a woman, lets say her name is Faye, at my place of work (a rather large organisation I have very little contact with her through my job) started to come on to me, knowing I'm engaged and wants one night of just pure sex, she is very understanding and has told me that it would be one night and she's not interested in doing anything to make my life harder. I haven't confessed my current sex life situation to her. The choice alone is conflicting me and depressing me.
While my morality says it would be out of the question to do such a thing, I am so sexually frustrated I can't stop thinking about the potentially release this would give me, I don't have emotional feelings for Faye as such but would love this opportunity. How patient in waiting for a sex lift is too patient?
What do I do? Do I just ignore it tell her it's not going to happen and continue with the repair of my current relationship? Or would it be good for the relationship to "get it out of my system"? | My Fiancé and I aren't having meaningful sex, being offered sex from other source, good idea or not? |
t3_1u4ox5 | relationships | Me [23f] and my ex [26m] had an abusive relationship, now starting to get back together. | My ex and I dated on and off for about 3 years. We had a very rocky relationship complete with alcoholism, cheating, screaming fits, physical and emotional abuse. When things went too far I ended up in the hospital with a broken collarbone.
We took our time apart (complete with the name calling and emotionally abusive speech). As of the fall we took a trip together and ended up having sex, since then I've been at his beckon call. If we wants me to come over I'm there, I bring him food, gifts, and sex of course but only when he wants it.
I can tell that hes changed, ie. He no longer calls me names, puts me down or gets physical with me. Ive made alot of changes to myself too. He tells me he loves me and calls me his pet name, yet he ignores me in public, tells every single one of our friends that nothing is going on and tells me he's "not ready" for a relationship.
I'm not sure whether to wait it out until he is ready or leave. I can't help but feel like he's using me until something better comes along, but when I bring it up I'm just being "silly". | Previously abusive ex isnt ready for a relationship but is somehow ready with the sex and doting on that comes with it. |
t3_4d8yzv | relationship_advice | Friend got in situation and is really confused about how to approach it without hurting anyone. | This bomb just got dropped on me today and I've been thinking all day on what to do, but it looks like I may need some help. It involves two of my roommates, PERSON A and PERSON B.
A while back, PERSON A met a girl through mutual friends and they seemed to really hit it off. He took her back to his place, but he was a little too drunk and, although he tried his best, he couldn't get the blood flowin. She said it was fine even though he was really embarrassed.
Recently, PERSON A tried contacting her again to see what was going on, hoping they could get together again that night. They chatted and she said it was only a one time thing but they could still be friends. Now for the fun part. Another housemate of mine, PERSON B (who knew nothing of this whole situation) met her at a party that same night PERSON A chatted with her, and they got together. This time however, she's been messaging him asking for them to meet up again.
PERSON A has no idea what happened with PERSON B and still has feelings for her. PERSON B wants to see her again, but doesn't want to go behind PERSON A's back. She is also a high school friend of another one of my housemates, and is working on a year long project with my fourth housemate, so she will be around often.
How can we make everyone happy without sacrificing friendships / relationships (I will be living with these guys for next few years so I don't want to do anything dumb here.) | Friend (kinda) got with girl and still really likes her. Other friend got with same girl without knowing first friend did, but still wants to see her again, but doesn't want to upset first friend. |
t3_349agv | relationships | Me [20F] with my boyfriend [21M] of a year and a half, looking for some perspective over a relatively small issue? | As a disclaimer, I know that I'm lucky to have someone who loves me, and I know this is a small issue, but it is something that bothers me and I would like some perspective, if anyone has that to offer.
I love my SO, been with him for year and a half at this point, but it's always been a little source of sadness for me that it seemed to take him so long to fall in love with me. It took him six or seven months to actually say it (and that's only because I was about to leave him, but I have no doubt that he truly did at that point), and when I asked him how long he had loved me and just been too scared to say it, at first he said three or four months, and then later on said it had probably been a little earlier.
I know that's still not a long time to take to fall in love with someone, but because I've felt like I loved him ever since that first month, added to how convinced I was that he didn't care about me for so long, just makes me feel like those first few months weren't as special for him or whatever. I realise it's stupid, but it still bothers me even now. It doesn't help that the girl he was dating before me (for only a couple of months), he was convinced he was in love with by the end and she really hurt him. It might be selfish, but sometimes I feel like I was second-best to her back then, that it seemed to take him longer to fall for me and no time at all for her. Even if this getting hurt was a factor in him taking longer to fall for me, I don't like feeling like his relationship with her spoils the start of our relationship. | Boyfriend probably took longer to fall in love with me than I with him, it still bothers me. |
t3_3hd6nr | personalfinance | Should I finish my master's degree and take out a loan? | I have been fortunate enough to not have to take out a student loan so far. I graduated from college in 2013 with a B.S. in Psychology. I always knew I would have to go to grad school. I decided to pursue my M.Ed in Higher Education Administration from the state university I graduated from. I had to take some teaching classes for that degree and decided that I wanted to become a teacher. Half way through that degree I switched to an MAT in Early Childhood Education program at a private school. I am half way through the program but will have to take out a federal loan (~$20,000) to finish the program. I do not want to stay in the state I am in, so I would have to get certified in New York state which will add more money and delay my ability to get a job after I graduate.
My problem is that I love being a teacher (right now I work as a pre-school teacher/part-time and I make $12/hour). I know being a pre-school teacher is much different than being a public school teacher and I am wondering if it is worth acquiring so much debt when I won't even be certified to teach in the state I want to move to (meaning I would have to take more tests/classes to get certified before I could become employable-further delaying my career).
I only have about $1,200 in savings and I want to move out of my parents house and begin my life. Would it be stupid to finish my original graduate degree (M.Ed higher ed administration- can be completed online) which costs me $2,000/semester or would I be making a stupid financial decision to complete my MAT degree in Early Childhood Education when I want to move to New York state and my program is making me eligible for certification in Georgia.
Sorry if this post is rambling, sometimes I need an outside perspective because I feel that I always make the wrong choice. | Is it stupid to complete an expensive MAT in Early Childhood Ed degree ($20,000 federal unsubsidized loans plus additional cost/time of certification in New York state) or should I finish my original M.Ed Higher Education Degree ($4,000- online program from accredited state university that I graduated from). I want to be a teacher but I feel like it is not financially responsible to continue as it would cost me more time and money and I could only work part-time while completing my degree. I feel like I have wasted so much time on education as it is and I just want to get into a career where I could be self sufficient. I have been lucky enough that my parents let me live at home rent free, but I want to be financially independent at this point in my life. |
t3_1i17wh | relationship_advice | Running away or just being an idiot? | I [22/F] have been dating [29/M] for a little over a year. It's been a really great but confusing relationship and things have only gotten more complicated. We started off casual and we've stayed, "open" since - as in we've agreed to fool around with other people as long as we use protection and tell the other. I've been too busy/tired to do any dating beyond him, whereas he's fooled around with a friend's roommate and has been super quiet/passive about it since. I think it's helped since he's trying harder. Given enough time, I might have done the same, too. I've met a huge chunk of his family and friends and he keeps wanting to meet mine. I've been holding back and holding back from that - just in time for another problem! He wants to move out of the country. Almost weekly, he'll bring up dreams of moving elsewhere. I still live at home, finishing school but I've traveled abroad; he hasn't but he has the freedom from his job to work & move. I don't know if we should continue since he obviously has one foot out the door. Should I just pull the plug to avoid the discomfort of an awkward, maybe even long distance break up? I don't want to be a dope and expect him to invite me, especially since we've never even discussed moving in together. (I wanted to live with him eventually.) He won't even talk about this hypothetical dream with a hypothetical me in it. I've tried it and he got uncomfortable. I don't want to ruin his openness to talk about these things, especially since I'm pretty uncertain of my future, too. | Boyfriend dreams of moving away. Is he's trying to subtly let me out... like a cat... Or should I just see where this goes? |
t3_1fh57i | relationships | Female [21], Male [21], will ahe get bored of me? | Ive been dating this girl for about two months now and for the most part everything is awesome, but I have a few worries. For one she has been with a lot more sexual than me. She has told me why it happened, she had reached a low point in her life and basically let herself get used. According to her she didnt get out of that rut till she met me. The next thing is she smokes both cigs and weed very rarely. She tones down the cigs around me, and no weed around me (get tested at work). She isnt like any girl ive dated before, I'm a much more reserved and straight edge person than her and im worried she will get bored of me. Ive talked to her about it and she says its absurd to think that, at one point her words were "you think im gonna break up with just, because you cant get high? no thats silly to think." The thing with all this is I like how different she is than me, I like the excitement. | Im a more "straight edge" guy with a girl who is opposite, will she get bored? |
t3_4h0r4a | relationships | Me [22F] with my ex [21 M] of one year has threatened to take legal action against me | My ex and I have been broken up for nearly three years but we still kept our joint bank account and phone numbers. The account has his car insurance and payments deducted from it on a monthly basis. I have recently changed my phone company and switched numbers.
Last year he went out of the country for a couple of months and asked me to help him cover for the payments, and that he'd pay me back within a few days. I ended up paying for four months of car stuffs and phone bills. Since then he repeatedly ignores my messages and kept giving excuses for why he can't return the money. It's been five months. He recently contacted me saying that he will return it soon and that he wants to meet with me and spend the night together. I declined saying that I don't want that sort of relationship.
Yesterday I saw that the account had funds transferred in our joint, and I withdrew his owed amount to my personal account. He later found out and withdrew the rest. I then immediately went to close the account. He's been contacting me saying that the bank has gave him all my information and he is going to take legal action against me. He gave me his new phone number and told me to call him to work this out. Apparently his parents are going to give him more money soon and right now he needs to pay bills. I have not responded at all. If it matters the bank is TD Canada.
I know that keeping ties is not a good thing and I want to end it completely. Our relationship was emotionally abusive and very devastating for the both of us. I wanted to stay in touch in the beginning for the sake of having a friend and later because he owed me money. Now that I've severed all ties I definitely don't want this person back in my life. I realized how toxic our relationship is. The fact that he has always wanted to get back with me has caused him resentment. | Ex owes me money. I took it back from our joint bank account and closed it. He is now threatening legal action. |
t3_3t21n9 | relationships | When, if ever, should I (~24/f) tell my guy (25/m) about some of the more deranged fantasies I have? | I have some very messed up fantasies to the point I don't think I enjoy sexual things very much unless some element of control, humiliation, power-play, rage, "force"-play, gender-bending or BDSM is involved. I'm not into piss/crap/anal/period stuff, but beyond that I like the darker aspects of sensuality. One strong fantasy (that isn't as terrible as some others) is dressing as a man in a suit and having him dress as a girl (but in a way where he still looks masculine) and doing a power-play RP. I have no desire to penetrate him or anything but I like the contrast of sub male (with "powerful" sex organ) and dom female (with "weaker" sex organ). This is more pronounced by the fact that I am almost 100 lbs and over a foot smaller than my man. | i have messed up fantasies/fetishes that i'd ideally want my man to be apart of but i highly suspect he would not be open to them. should i keep them to myself or tell him and risk freaking him out? |
t3_2nxao5 | offmychest | This girl drives me wild, but damn does she piss me off. | So I've been talking to this girl for about a month. She is freaking amazing. We share a bunch of nerdy interests and she is really attractive. I love spending time with her and talking, but she really pisses me off sometimes.
Every time I've tried to set something up, like where we would hang out or her come to one of my games she would bag out. This happened maybe four times. Normally I would take this as a sign that she's not interested, but she when we do hang out at lunch she's really sweet and wants to hold hands or hold my arm ore something. Sometimes we would sect and just last week she moved my hand into her bra (this is big because I'm still a kissless virgin at 17)
So fast forward to thanksgiving break. We had plans to go to a movie on the first Saturday of the break, but I had to bail this time because my family was going on vacation. During vacation the Ferguson bomb hit and we had a big argument about that. This wasn't like other arguments though and she was really upset that I didn't agree with her. She threatened to stop the relationship so I had to appease her for the time being. Later that day things were fine, but there was still the fallout.
Anyways ever since then the amount of texting we do has fallen a lot and the majority of her replies are one word texts. It pisses me the fuck off because I'm basically texting myself. She's always done this, but now its literally almost every text that is just 1-3 words.
So we didn't see each other all break and tomorrow I was supposed to see her at school. She told me tonight that she has to spend her lunch in the yearbook room so that's not happening. My fear is that she's done with this and is trying to avoid me. I'd be fine with not talking to her anymore, I just don't want to get strung around. I'm probably just being paranoid though. Idk really. This girl is super awesome, I just wish she would stop making me over think things. | this girl is super amazing, but she has become kinda distant and boring lately. I'm afraid I'm gonna get strung around. |
t3_2o40ta | relationships | My [20 M] girlfriend [19 F] of 2 years, has no idea what she wants to do in life (career wise), how important is knowing your goals for a relationship to last? | I realize we are still young and we are both in college, but she has no idea what type of career she wants, and doesn't like the sound of any that get suggested based off her majors (she has changed majors a few times).
It bothers me since I'm kinda close to graduating and know exactly what kind of job I want, what I want my life to be like, and things like that. Where it seems like she just thinks a job will show up when she graduates and everything will be good. And I don't think I would have a good enough job to support both of us and even think about having kids (we both know we would want kids WAY in the future)
I'm wondering from the view point of older people how important is it for a SO to know what they want in the long run? | How important is it for a couple to know what they individually want in life and to see if their goals are compatible? |
t3_33440z | relationships | Me [27 M] with my fiancee[28 F] ten years, Illinois US, I messed up, again. How can I start to fix this? | Our relationship has had it's good times and bad, but I love my fiancee and she's a great person. Right now, she's justifiably pissed at me.
If there's one thing that's been a big issue for us, it's my drinking. I don't drink often - maybe once a month - but when I do go out drinking with my buddies, I go to TOWN. I'm talking getting home at 4 in the morning, missing all the next day in bed feeling like hell.
This really upsets her. She doesn't like seeing me like that and she doesn't like her plans being ruined. She's asked me time and time again to stop, and I agreed, but then I go and do it again. I need to stress here, there's no infidelity whatsoever, and that isn't in question. It's the letting her down part.
Now we're at crunch time. I've done it again, and she has plainly stated to me that she doesn't care about making up this time. It's the first time in ten years that I have legitimately thought something could break us.
I need to do something here. I've never really felt emotional about anything before, but this is serious. She won't speak to me now, and I don't blame her.
Any ideas how I can do something here? I'm tired of being a jerk,and she deserves a hell of a lot better. | I fucked up, how do I make this up to her? |
t3_31mv78 | personalfinance | Adjusting pay for a new city | Hello all, I am considering a move to another major city (potentially Austin, TX, Portland, OR, or Charlotte, NC) from a very high cost of living city (NYC). I currently make 80k as a financial consultant at a Big 4 professional services firm. I will be looking into financial analyst roles and possibly other consulting roles in my new city. The part that is giving me issues is that I know I will have to except lower pay in a lower cost of living area. I know calculators out there that tell you how much you would "need" to make for the same standard of living, but those call for a pretty huge cut. I'm curious if anyone else has made that kind of move or has any expert analysis on this type of issue. | What type of pay cut should I expect in a new city |
t3_12oxzg | Parenting | Leaving Kids Alone | So my wife and I disagree on this, and I wondered how Reddit would respond.
We have two kids: one boy who will be 5 tomorrow, and a 2 year old girl.
My boy is currently enrolled in pre-K. We drop him off at 12:30p and pick him up at 3p.
This has set a giant kink in our daughter's nap schedule. She used to go to sleep ~Noon and sleep until 2-3.
The usual routine is to drop him off and come home and put her to bed. Most of the time she will be asleep when we have to leave.
So here's the point. We live across the street from the school. I could leave the house and return with him in 5-7 minutes. The wife is uncomfortable with the idea.
Our daughter sleeps in a crib, and if I do not have to wake her up she will sleep until around 3:30. | Thoughts on leaving crib babies sleeping alone in the house while you run an errand for 5-7 minutes tops? |
t3_3cljrc | tifu | TIFU by messing with Murphy | For the past few weeks, I've been taking my stash of money with me everywhere I went, in the hopes that I'd buy a Vita with it in case I came across a GameStop or whatever sold it. My parents do not approve of such gaming, so I can't simply ask them to buy it for me and I'll pay them back.
Well, yesterday I struck out again so I decided to not take my money with me today. Now, my aunt who's visiting knows a nice little family restaurant out in the middle of nowhere in my state, so off we went.
We dined, and thus came time to pay. The adults whipped out their credit and debit cards when the owner simply stated, "Sorry, we don't accept cards anymore."
The adults fumbled around in their bags for cash. No luck. They turned to me...
...and now I'm sitting here, typing this, being left at the restaurant as collateral, while they go to the nearest atm machine. Google Maps says it's 30 minutes away. | And I wouldn't be stuck in the middle of nowhere too, if it weren't for that meddling Murphy's Law. |
t3_16i54v | personalfinance | Filing quarterly taxes - worried I'm getting screwed... | Regular on r/pf, throwaway due to lots of financial information.
For the past few years, my taxes have been a bit weird/different and I've had my parent's accountant help me file my taxes. She's given me advice that I've found to be wrong before, and the most recent numbers that she's given me I think are way off.
I had some stock options that cashed out last year that were a significant sum. I had no investments prior to that, and thus have no real good sense of how quarterly taxes should work before this big windfall. I think I'm paying way too much, and she isn't taking into account what else I'm paying in taxes when telling me how much I should pay. She likes to pay an estimated amount for the whole year in January, so I don't have to file quarterly (which I'm fine with, if her guesses are relatively close to actual, which they haven't been in the past).
Here's all the info:
Dec 2011 - first disbursment of options = $92,069.81
Jan 2012 - paid $14,000 in taxes for 4th quarter 2011 ($9K fed, $5K state)
April 2012 - paid $1286 in fed taxes for potential cap gains 2012
Dec 2012 - 2nd disbursment = $6,797.61
Jan 2013 - recommended I pay $500 in fed, $200 in state
In 2012, earned $3.04 in interest, $54.33 in long term cap gains, and $1529.70 in dividends in my investment account (all taxable).
I earned ~$30K in 2012 (only worked half the year, was grad student before) and paid $5K in Fed taxes, $1,500 in State.
I know there's probably some important details I'm leaving out, but I feel like I should be getting a federal refund for this year, so I'm confused about why I'm paying more cap gains when I'm still owed from what I paid last year as estimated. | I don't know enough to check my accountant's math, but it doesn't seem right to me. help? |
t3_40ovko | tifu | TIFU By boot-skiing before a race | So earlier today, My school's ski team went to a mountain for a meet. We get to where the race course starts and wait our turn.
We decided to pass the time by taking off our skis, walking up the trail a little, and sliding on our boots. Things were going well, until i walked back to my skis.
I slipped and started sliding down the path headfirst, and it was steep and icy, so I couldn't stop. I start crashing into people and wiping out skis and poles. When I finally stopped, everyone said it was fine, but I felt like an asshole. | I slid down a ski trail headfirst and wiped people out. |
t3_26ha0t | tifu | TIFU by hitting myself with my car. | So I keep an old 90's Chrysler Voyager van with 300,000 miles around for moving and hauling shit. I only use it maybe once or twice a year, and I haven't serviced it in a while because, well, its a 90's Chrysler Voyager with 300,000 miles...
So my uncle called me last night and asked if I could move some old storage boxes from his current house to one he just purchased about a block away. I told him I'd love to help.
This morning I started the van (I wish it had just been dead or something in hindsight) and made my way to my uncle's. Now, here's where it gets interesting... My uncle's driveway is heavily sloped, and beyond the driveway is about 20 feet of flat pavement followed by another gigantic slope which leads to the driveway and house of a neighbor.
I pulled up the driveway and put the emergency brake on. Three hours later (literally 3 FUCKING HOURS) I went outside to bring his garbage cans up for him which sat at the end of the driveway. As I was closing one of the lids, I heard a strange sound behind me...intensifying as time passed. I look around to see the rusted, fat end of my Chrysler barreling towards me without a care in the world. I try to jump out of the way, but the van hit a bump in the driveway and corrected its course, again, towards me. It hit me hard enough to send myself and the trashcan flying into the adjacent lawn. As I'm laying in the grass, contemplating my existence, I see the van slow nearly to a halt on the flat pavement after the driveway, right before it starts rolling on the next slope like a star being gravitationally sucked into a black hole. I could only watch in horror as it knocked over 3 street signs, crashed through our neighbor's picket fence, and finally stopping by colliding into their two cars in their driveway.
I went to the ER and got some bandages. | My emergency brake failed and I was hit by my own van. |
t3_2g705m | tifu | TIFU by dropping some wooden boxes | This happened in 2006 but I figured it was bad enough to be included.
Back when I was at 6th form college I was part of the theatre set building team, the college had an old hall that was used as a theatre and they had just employed a new stage manager, after the last show in our spring season we all decided we would clear the stage and re-organize it so it looked neater etc,
The stage manager said that was ok. At the back of the hall was a pile of boxes that were about 1.5mx1.5m and about 50cm tall, so they were hefty units, all stacked up.
We decided it was best to kick them off the top as they were piled so high it wouldnt be safe for a load of 17 year olds to get up on ladders etc and get them down.
We set up a ladder either side of the boxes so we could pick them up and just drop them, we thought this was the safest way of doing it. So me and my friend pick up one of these huge boxes and after shouting "ALL CLEAR" to our friend whose job it was to make sure nobody was on stage except us, he shouted "YES, ALL CLEAR". So we dropped the box.
As soon as it left our hands he went "NO NO NO NO WAIT"
We paniced as it was mid flight and there was nothing we could do,
Down the box crashed onto a poor unsuspecting plastic tub of red paint.
SPLAT. This paint went everywhere, it went all our friend at the other end of the stage, all over a box of costumes waiting to be returned and worst of all, all over a hired lighting desk and a hired sound desk.
So I spent the remainder of that day with alcohol wipes cleaning out the lighting desk and sound desk whilst the other 2 lads cleaned the floor. We had to go and see the head of performing arts, head teacher and head of 6th form an explain our mistake. Luckily they were pretty understanding and said it was obviously an accident and that we should be more careful. | Dropped a huge wooden box onto a tub of paint, nearly destroyed up to £4000 worth of hired gear and costumes |
t3_1kbnq6 | loseit | Having an odd problem and looking for some guidance from my favorite weight loss community | So here's the skinny... Or maybe the not so skinny:
I started my weight loss journey about a month ago. I lost 7 pounds so far. My process is to eat around 1,000 calories a day and exercise (cardio machines at the gym or C25K) every other day or so for 30-60 minutes just depending on my schedule. My foods are typically clean only (as in no fast food as much as I can avoid it, and when I have fast food I just get grilled chicken sandwiches and remove the bun). For a frame of reference, I'm F/19/5'4 and 168lbs.
The issues I am having:
1. I have already plateaud for a week. I don't know why I would plateau so early in the game because I have a lot of fat to lose.
2. (This is the big one) I found out about a week ago that my gallbladder is not functioning and it has to be removed. This is part of why my caloric intake is pretty low. Even if I wanted to eat more calories, I can't. I try so hard to reach 1,000 a day but my gallbladder is making me so sick that I can't keep much down. Surgery is next week, but even during recovery I am to expect the same issues for some time. Is it possible that this low intake is causing my body to go into "starvation mode" or something like that? Also, anyone who has some experience in either gallbladder issues OR weight loss process during surgery recovery, could you guys shed some light on what I can do to increase my intake after initial recovery, how I can build back up to getting good exercise, and how I can combat the side effects of the surgery (mainly the nausea).
I know this is long, but I really want some input from you guys because I watch so many people here give outstanding support to one another and this is one of the few times I've felt compelled enough to ask for help myself. I would appreciate anything anyone can tell me to help me continue on a healthy track. | Plateauing very early in my weight loss journey; eating very low calorie due to gallbladder dysfunction; looking for help on any end of these issues that anyone can give. |
t3_2p7d0l | relationships | Me [27f] interested in starting relationship with [42m] want to know if/how I should proceed | Recently I started talking to an close friend of mines [42m] cousin Mark. We have known each other for over five years and always had underlying chemistry.
I am now out of a bad relationship with a younger man and finally know what I want. Mark is exactly the type of guy I would like to be with. Educated, successful, worldly, same background, and mutual interests. He asked me to come over for a lovely dinner and wine which I enjoyed. We enjoy each others company. The next day we met for a lovely lunch.
My dilemma is how to maintain my cool so that our relationship could progress. We didn't hook up in the past because he was the type of man to have multiple woman. Probably still is. We had a conversation and he said he wants to find a wife to be with and make a family together. Music to my ears.
He knows me and is obviously attracted to me. Does anyone have any tips to dating an older man. Or what the thoughts of a habitual single man are? | want to start dating an older acquaintance don't know where to start or if I should even bother |
t3_a6wfu | AskReddit | Ever been attacked by a stray dog/coyote/wolf? How did you handle it? | On the way to school when I was younger (about 13) I got bit in the leg by a medium sized dog. After getting bit I pushed him off with my backpack where luckily he then lost interest in me.
Another time (more recently) me and a friend were walking home from a house party when a pack of 3 large coyotes started following us from about a km down the road. We climbed on top of a large semi parked off to the side of the road and started yelling loud to try and scare them away, which kind of worked because they did cross to the other side off the road (away from us).
Now last night I saw a large stray dog was creeping around my house as I pulled up to my house in my jeep. I scared him off by turning my car off and then restarting it (it was too late to honk the horn, people were sleeping lol). I found my self wondering what I would have done if I hadn't seen that dog when I pulled up and went to go open my front door only to get attacked. Of course the usual kicking and screaming like a little girl comes to mind, but is there some kind of technique to stop or restrain a animal that is large? Doggie sleeper hold or something?
**T | Had a couple of encounters with strays, wondering what the best way to handle a stray is if it attacks you. Thanks. |
t3_3db33m | relationships | Me [21 F] with my boyfriend[22 M] for year and a half, he cheated on me this past weekend and I am heartbroken. | I have been with this guy for a year and a half, I have never been so close to anyone. We lived together, travelled the world together, know everything about each other, and have very similar life goals and world views.
He has anxiety, I have depression. He started to self medicate with weed about 2 months into our relationship. He ended up smoking around 5-10 times a day, everyday. It caused problems.
He didn't want to face it and started drifting away and I got clingy.
He eventually stopped putting any effort into the relationship and when I confronted him, he broke up with me.
Almost immediately he wanted to get back together, weeks go by where we are living apart from each other, but we know we are going back to school at the end of this summer. All we talk about is missing each other and wanting to be back together. One weekend I dont here from him at all, until Monday where I find out he hooked up with another girl multiple times.
This continues, then I forgive him when he still wants to get back together. I tell him we will if he doesnt hook up with anyone besides me.
Things are going good.
We have plans to facetime tonight.
I just found out he hooked up with the same girl multiple times again this past weekend.
Im so upset, I'm shaking and feel like I'm going to puke.
Please any advice to get me through this. Please. | Longterm boyfriend cheated on me. |
t3_3ait6o | relationships | (Advice) I (M21) don't feel like I'm good enough for my (F20) girlfriend. What can I do? | Been in a relationship with my gf for about 5 months. And I've been having issues getting her to orgasm etc etc, the sex is fine but I feel like I'm useless as I'm not exactly hung like a horse, she says "it does the job" to satisfy her but never makes her orgasm from piv sex, but being at best 6 inches I think she's not telling me the whole truth as I know her past and she's had guys with bigger ones than me. Anywho, is there anything I can do to be a better lover/work what I've got better/tips tricks etc?
I'm still new to the whole relationship and sex thing as my previous gf was a starfish in bed, and we'll I got nothing out of her really. My new gf is really experienced and I feel like I'm way out of my depth.
Any feedback positive negative tips whatever will be extremely helpful. | need tips/help for my sex life as I feel 6 inches doesn't satisfy her and I don't have much experience. |
t3_2sxife | tifu | TIFU By going shopping | Alright so this wasn't exactly today but it was a particular fuck up that stands out in my mind from 3 years ago. It was a wednesday in May, I was in the middle of exam week in the college. Now I had no exams wrote down on my timetable for that day. I decided that I would spend some time with my best friend who was my room mate at the time and we just messed around and had the craic(I'm irish craic here means fun) and games round the appartment.
Anyways it was around 2 o'clock that I went to check the fridge and cupboard to check the food situation. It wasn't good so I asked the room mate if he wanted to come along, he said he was gonna study for a while, so I asked if he wanted me to bring anything back he said a few biscuits would be nice.
Anyways I head on into the town and walk to Lidl and pick up my bits and pieces as I had no food left and by the time I get back it's half 3. When I arrive up in the appartment I'm greeted by my friend let's call him D and my room mate. D and I are in the same course and it's as I'm setting out all my food and whatnot that he tells me I missed the exam that was on today!
I tell him he's fucking lying as I have the exam timetable, he then proceeds to show me the actual exam timetable turns out it was the only exam I missed out of all of them and that I should've been down in the college at 2 o'clock to do the exam. Oh and I forgot the biscuits. | Thought I had the day off, went shopping missed exam and forgot my room mates biscuits. |
t3_2v8cr4 | relationships | I [26m] have evidence of some shady behavior of my gf[26], and I need a fresh perspective/advice. | I will try to keep this (complex) story as simple as possible, yet detailed.
My girlfriend of almost 3 years has been gone for about 5months out of a country for work. It was rough, ups and downs, missing each other, frustration with her bad internet connection and so on.
She got back. Long story short; she forgot to log out of facebook and I'm not proud of snooping in, but the temptation was too strong (I know I will get shit for this).
There was a 1000+ messages with some guy. I have the entire conversation saved and it hurts my guts every time i go through it. Basically, he started hitting on her early on, and each time he did it she did not respond with approval or flat out rejected him, but tried to avoid the topic or stir it in another direction. She was polite, yet flirty. She tried to friendzone him, still accepting to meet him and stuff. He tried to kiss her, she rejected, and there was a whole mess about it later on, him writing pathetic emotional messages to her (some quiet disturbing for me), she basically trying to tell him to be friends (but not explicitly enough if you ask me) and not wanting to cheat her bf (verbatim: not because of him, but I don't want to feel bad). I am confused as he is mentioning her lips in another conversation later on, so I'm not 100% sure a kiss didn't happen. After that she didn't stop seeing him, and the whole thing with pathetic messages continued until she got back home. She seemed pretty annoyed at him towards the end (or rather found his messages lame), but again, she didn't outright rejected this assertiveness.
I am on the fence and pretty much confused of my next step. There are many other things to be added to this story, but I didn't want to make it more complicated than necessary. If you need to ask anything, please do. I'd like to hear would you do in my situation. | My girlfriend was messing around with some guy while abroad, a kiss may have occurred, and I am confused what to do next. |
t3_1pyeav | relationships | Me [26F] suddenly uninterested with my boyfriend [25M] of four months. | I wasn't sure how to word the title. I'm not sure what's up with me. I've been in a few relationships over the years, all of which I have ended. I always seem to become uninterested in the guys I date- both physically and emotionally. This last time is no exception. Everything has been good and fun so far. But over the last two weeks I suddenly want nothing to do with him. Whenever he brings up sexual things I almost feel repulsed. It hurts because while I do care about him, I don't feel like I want to stay in the relationship.
When this first started happening (maybe 20ish years old), I wondered if I wasn't straight. I gave this a lot of thought and was even able to discuss it with a lesbian friend. I really don't think I am as the sexual aspect of that doesn't appeal to me.
I'm just not sure what it is. After a few months of relationships I always become tired of the texting, talking etc. I don't mind doing this with friends, but it becomes a chore with someone I'm dating. This might have to do with my nature- I'm very introverted and need a lot of time for myself.
Maybe I'm just not meant for that kind of relationship? I've tried talking to people about this idea but I always get the "There's a special someone out there for everyone" thing. Sometimes I think I'd be happier with non-committed, non-sexual relationships. It sounds more appealing to live with a close (female) friend than a guy I'm in a relationship with. | I always lose interest in dating and maybe happier without it in my life. |
t3_205ia6 | relationships | My boyfriend (23M) broke up with me (22F) very recently, and I want him back more than anything. | From anyone else's perspective I realize this will probably sound pretty dramatic and ridiculous, but I need to get it off of my chest and get some advice.
My boyfriend and I broke up about a week ago after dating for five months; he ended it, saying it simply didn't feel right anymore and that we burned too bright and too fast. This isn't the first time I've been dumped, but my feelings surrounding the breakup were different than ones I've had at the end of any other relationship: I simply wasn't ready for it to end.
Now I seem to have unintentionally developed this all-consuming objective to get him back, and I know it's unlikely but I could just use some clarity or some good advice. | boyfriend dumped me, I want him back against very bleak odds. |
t3_2c8o2n | tifu | TIFU by peeing in the shower | Oh boy, what a morning I had..
So a little backstory for my story is as follows. I (25 m) travel a lot for work and am constantly in hotel rooms and hotel bars and usually I am alone. This week I was lucky in the fact that I had a young female co-worker from a different country come work on a project we had. So as you can imagine, we were 2 young people drinking in a hotel thousands of miles from home and one thing led to another and we started to hook up. It was fun and awesome and before we knew it we were sleeping in the same bed every night. One day (this morning) we had sex and I went to go take a shower before we headed in to the office. This is where things headed south.
I went ahead and closed the door (I didn't lock it.. who would?) and ran the shower. Hopped into the shower and really needed to have my post-sex pee session so I said 'Fuck it' and started to unleash this massive stream of the yellowest most powerful piss I had ever had in my life. What happened next you ask?
SHE RAN IN TO THE SHOWER TO JOIN ME. She jumped into the shower and hugged me while I continued to piss. She stood in my puddle of the darkest most potent piss I think I had ever taken. She got a little on her legs because I couldn't stop myself fast enough.
ONCE SHE REALIZED WHAT HAPPENED it was over. She started to freak out, she called me nasty, disgusting, saying "what is wrong with you???!!!" , the works and ran out of the bathroom.
So I finished my shower, got dressed, and now i'm sitting here at the office just waiting for her to walk in and give me the most disgusted look of "I stepped in your piss and got some on my leg and now we have to work together".
Thankfully I fly back home to NY today and hopefully won't have to work with her for quite some time (or ever again.) | Sex with co-worker, went to shower, didn't lock door, started to pee in shower, co-worker joined me by surprise, peed on her leg. |
t3_4isg7h | Advice | Telling the GF about their cheating boyfriend | So, unfortunately, I guess I would be the other woman and I feel horrible about it. And this is a long story, sorry guys.
The guy and I have a long history. I thought he was my best friend, I trusted him, he was my first. He then got a GF like a week later, but he kept asking me to hook up. Finally one drunken night I slept with him while he was dating this first girl. It tore me up inside, the guy and I stopped talking for months because we were fighting so much, but recently we started talking again.
Slowly we were starting to re-form our relationship; then out of nowhere he asks me if I have ever thought about us dating. One thing led to another and we started sending nudes to each other and sexting. He would tell me things like he can't stop thinking about me...etc etc. A week or 2 goes by and I find out that he has been dating a girl for the past couple of months. I honestly had no idea because I had deleted him from all forms of social media, and I was so angry that he would do something like that after we just started being friends again. I am heartbroken and just recently ended our friendship.
I suppose my question is, should I tell this girl. Cheating that first time tore me up, I felt so guilty and awful for doing it. And I never told her because of my loyalty to him. And in this case, technically he didn't cheat. We never slept together. I have been juggling with the decision. I don't want to tell her just to get back at him, that would be wrong. But talking to my friend who has been cheated on, she says she would want to know. I just don't know what to do. I know this story doesn't shed me in the best light, and believe me I am breaking at the seems right now. I just don't know what to do anymore and I can't tell if my decisions are right. | Guy/supposed best friend told me he liked me and my stupid self trusted him and started sexting him. I found out he had a GF a week or two later. Is it the right thing to tell her. |
t3_3e4pl0 | relationship_advice | [19/m ]I need to change how I am with my SO before I lose her but I don't know how to? Help, please? | I'm in a long distance relationship, I live in the West Midlands and she lives in the Northern part of England, we skype every night and she talks to me every chance she gets. Yet sometimes she ignores me messages or she will go on her phone, open a snap chat but not reply to my Facebook message. For some reason this really gets to me and I'm not sure why? It gets under my skin and I end up snapping at her then immediately regretting it. I know she loves me, I know she cares. She shows it all the time but whenever I see that I get ignored I just change and say shit to her that I don't mean. I'm sorry if this is stupid, it probably is. I just know that me snapping is going to eventually push her away and I don't want that, I honestly don't. I don't know what's made me like this, either. I have been like it in the past with other relationships but I just never learn and can't change. I really want this to stop because she's the best I've had yet personality/looks wise and my life is so much different without her. She's helped me with so much and I'd be a wreck if she went, I can't let myself get in to this state (sorry for the rant) | Girlfriend ignores me sometimes, I get pissed, pushing her away because of it, want to stop that happening |
t3_3xo8d9 | relationships | A classmate of mine from elementary school was recently killed. His mom has requested to meet me (22f) over Xmas. What should I do/say? | Hi r/relationships, I wish I was coming for advice in a better situation
Earlier today I spoke with my dad who informed me of the death of a classmate from elementary and junior high. He was apparently murdered a few months and I don't think the person responsible has been arrested yet. I'm not sure if the details and there isn't anything online besides an obituary.
My dad heard about this from my classmates mom. She asked my dad if I would be willing to visit her at some point over Christmas break. Her son apparently had a crush on me throughout the years that we knew each other and she just wants to talk and reminisce.
I'm planning on going and bringing any old pictures that I have. Is there anything else I should do or say that would bring her comfort? I haven't lost too many people close to me and I'm not sure of the best way to handle this. | a friend/classmate from childhood who liked me was recently killed. His mom wants to meet me. Advice and words of wisdom appreciated. |
t3_2f1jbq | relationships | My [24f] boyfriend [27m] may have just broken up with me? | I've [24f] known for a few months that my boyfriend, [27m] of 3 years, has been depressed. I, myself, have been on antidepressants for a while. I made him an appointment at our doctor when I first found out he was depressed, hoping maybe she could refer him to a therapist and/or give him some antidepressants as well (fyi his appointment is in a few days).
Since then I've tried to be almost annoyingly supportive and understanding. He doesn't really want to go anywhere or talk to anyone or even do anything around the house, so I do everything for him. I get all the groceries, I cook all the food, I do all the laundry, I clean the house often, I walk the dogs, I take his clothes out in the morning for him, I get up early to make him breakfast every morning and other things like that. He's really emotional and every time he cries I hold him and try to comfort him as best I can. I know this isn't going to make him any better, but I do it so that he doesn't have to worry about them.
Yesterday he said he's had something on his mind that he's been wanting to tell me for a little while. After some coddling he finally admitted that he's had to force himself not to make me leave him so that he can be depressed by himself. When he told me this I didn't know what to say and then he immediately said he'd never break up with me.
I didn't really respond to him. I told him that I needed to process everything, but I honestly have no idea what to do. He has to force himself to make me leave, but he'd never break up with me? I'm so confused. | My [24f] depressed boyfriend [27m] of 3 years just told me he has to force himself not to make me leave him so that he can be depressed by himself. |
t3_3x6vyr | relationships | my [16 F] crush told me she loves my best friend [18m]. Me [18m] | For clarity, here are the fake names il be using: Me: John, My best friend: Alex, Her: Kim.
Also. 16 is the legal age in my country, and hers. Kim lives 2 countries away
So I met kim while playing an online game called League of legends. I added Kim (without knowing anything about her, or that is was a girl either). We start chatting and find out we have alot in common. Ie, we both play the same videogames, like the same shows, books and such. After a few days of chatting I get the feeling that Kim is a girl. so I ask Kim, and she confirms it.
After another week of constant chatting, playing together (With Alex aswell) I start to like kim. And I get the feeling is mutual (it **looks** like she is dropping hints on it).
As we keep on chatting, I start to like kim more and more.
After about 4 weeks of constant chatting, Im thinking of a way to confess to kim. but then I get the dreadful message that she is in love with Alex, and that his feelings is mutual. This absolutely broke me. I didnt even know they were chatting at all outside of when we were playing together.
At this point im at a loss for what to do, I feel completely heart broken. I stuggle to sleep, I cant get kim out of my head at all. even at work.
What should I do? Should I confess? try and forget? I just dont know what to do at this point. | Met girl playing league, we really hit it off, lots on interests, but when im about to confess, she says shes in love with my best friend, and that their feelings are mutual. |
t3_o3qos | AskReddit | Parking ticket with wrong address written on it - do I have to pay? | Hey reddit. I just got a $45 parking ticket for parking outside of my house while street sweepers came. I just moved back from college and my family neglected to tell me that on the 1st and 3rd wednesday of each month the street sweepers come by (followed by a ~~pig~~ cop to write tickets).
On the ticket, however, the address is incorrect. It claims that I was on a completely different street, one that is nearby. Since the ticket has an error, does it count as defective and do I have to pay? Also, I live in CA which probably makes a difference.
Furthermore, the only sign that warns of the street sweep says "No Parking This Tract" etc. But, it is my opinion that the word "tract" is ambiguous when I live in a huge community of so-called tract housing. Where would one tract begin and another end? Or is the entire community considered to be 1 tract? The positioning of the sign could be interpreted to mean the same as "No Parking This Street".
Thanks for any help, I'm poor and really can't afford this ticket, though I guess I'll pay it reluctantly if I absolutely have to. | Parking ticket with wrong address written on it. Do I have to pay? |
t3_2qppfb | loseit | F/33 SW:253 CW:186 GW:160 | Move more, eat less is my motto. I use MFP to track my calories, currently at 296 day streak. I log everything, I never lie so I can make sure my calories balance at the end of the week. My goal is to be between 1300-1500 as my final average intake.
I eat everything that I ate before, just less of it. This keeps me from over indulging because I deprived myself. I started cycling in April and in September I joined a gym and started AWR "A workout routine". Already completed my first 12 week program and feel great.
I started this journey because I was trying to convince myself that I should just love myself and my body the way I was. I soon realized this was an excuse to be lazy and continue eating myself into an early grave.
Even though I still have a ways to go and will likely lower my goal weight, I love who I've become. I love that my weight no longer keeps me from spending all day out and about and not exhausted by the end of it. I love shopping for clothes and I love that I've learned to make smart choices and not to beat up on myself when I eat something I shouldn't have. One day at a time and I'll reach my goal. | Move more, eat less. Get fit, it's great. |
t3_3cbf1h | relationships | I [22 M] gave up Military academy for a girl [21 F] but she doesnt know, should i tell her? | I received an acceptance letter and two year Olmsted scholarship for West Point Military Academy a few months before i graduated high school in 2011. At the same time, i liked a girl who was a friend but never romantically involved.
My junior year I would make moves sometimes like i would go up and talk to her to ask her out but she would make excuses or be busy with something else. We flirted a couple time my senior year and always talk to each other in class when we didn't have anything to do. We weren't close friends but we knew each other enough to talk about personal issues. I ended up liking her more by the end of my senior year than i now think she liked me. But I ended up making the horrible decision of not attending because I liked her so much i thought that if i didn't go i could pretend not to be a 'military nerd' so to speak and try and win her over.
So in the end I ended up asking her to prom and a few weeks after graduation asked her if we could be more than friends and she insisted it was all just summer thing; nothing serious. So I gave up everything to try and win her over and failed which is the worst decision I've ever made. | ! After four years, i see her around every now and I'm getting back into school after thinking I would never again achieve that level of accomplishment before i gave it up for her. We talked recently and she asked about what happen to me after high school and i told her nothing; that i couldn't decide what to do. It was a half truth but ive never told her about West Point even when she asks about after high school. Should i tell her or keep it to myself? |
t3_294ff3 | relationships | I [20/F] am disgusted by any kind of sexual contact? | If a guy even touches my arm in a romantic way I am completely disgusted with him. If he kisses me I'm disgusted with him and myself for letting him. It's like that for any kind of sexual contact. Even if I'm attracted to the person I still feel the same way.
My friend suggested that I may be asexual but that can't be right. I still crave sexual contact. I constantly think about it, I watch porn, masturbate, etc., it's just the act that bothers me.
I just don't know what to do. The reason I'm asking is because I just started a relationship with someone and we've gotten into the physical stage. I actually find myself getting angry at him for wanting to touch me. I still let him, obviously, because I know deep down I want it, but after we spend time together I can't even speak to him for a few days because I'm so disgusted.
Not to mention sex is horrible for both of us. He's dropped a couple hints that it's pretty much like sleeping with a corpse. He's right, I just lay there, because even faking getting into it gets me upset.
What do I do? I can't live like this. I want it so bad, but I just can't do it. | I'm completely disgusted by all sexual contact and it's ruining my life. |
t3_koo7j | AskReddit | Apartment-mate advice | Hi Reddit.
I live w/ my fiance and two other guys. The two guys share a room. Guy 1 made these dumplings that smelled like rotting meat or moldy cheese. It smelled so bad I left the common area to go to the room I share w/ my fiance, and almost puked. The whole area outside our room still smells, and he cooked 2 hours ago. I have no idea what was in it, but my fiance asked and Guy 1 said chicken and veggies. Any idea why it smelled so rancid? He said it tasted fine... or any idea on how to get rid of the stink? Febreeze won't do anything, and the fan has been on and windows open for awhile now...
Guy 2 (we think) also pees on the floor in front of the toilet and we don't know how to politely approach that topic. Any ideas?
We talked to Guy 1 about the food and stuff, but the pee puddle was a lot larger tonight (size of a desert plate, previously quarter sized) and it was the first time it was confirmed as pee. Just looking for a way to say hey, stop pissing on the floor (since I'm the only girl, and it isn't my fiance). | how to get rid of extremely pungent rancid meat smell? how to politely tell guys to stop peeing on the bathroom floor/what to avoid when discussing this so roommates don't get mad? |
t3_18pufr | dogs | Our dogs keep fighting! But only around my wife... | Hey Guys,
My wife and I have two dogs, a 3yo Australian Shepherd/Gold Retriever mix (We think - DNA test was inconclusive) and a 2yo Corgi-Ausi mix.
Background:
We got both of them from the shelter, at different times. The older, and larger (60lbs) was the one we brought home first. The youngest, and samller (45lbs) we brought home roughly a year later.
At first, they got along great. There weren't any problems at all. After about six months or so, the smaller dog has been viciously attacking our larger dog. He chases him out of the room, herds him into corners and protects areas of the room that are bottlenecks so our other dog can't get to us. But here's the real deal... he doesn't do it when it's just me and the dogs. When he's near my wife though, he's always anxious and ready to fend off other dogs. Originally, our larger dog would simply take a beating and move on, but he's since started to fight back.
She was the one who picked him up from the shelter. Which, might have something to do with it. However, since the problems started about a year ago, we have tried:
Extra Exercise.
Copious amounts of "mat training".
Keeping them separate for as much of the day as our schedule will allow.
Every gadget or collar you can imagine.
They have been in plenty of dust-ups, but never to the point where they injure each other. I feel that's only a matter of time though.
When it's just me and the dogs, they listen to every word I say, lay together, play together and have zero issues.
Does anybody have any suggestions? | Smaller dog bullies our larger dog, but only around the Mrs. |
t3_3zoaal | personalfinance | Manager going on pregnancy leave; Ask for a raise before or after fulfilling manager duties during leave? | My manager is taking pregnancy leave in May-July. Currently earn 45k/year w/ benefits.
Company is asking me to take on full manager duties, but have not made any mention of compensation. We operate with two funeral directors (me and her) and now I will be fulfilling two jobs as one. (this is for a funeral home)
My question is, do I ask to be compensated before hand for the extra work load I am about to receive, or work it, to the best of my ability & use it as leverage when asking for a raise, afterwards?
My fear is, I say nothing now, and when I ask for a raise after it's over, they decline & I took on all that work, for the same rate. | Double workload is being thrown upon me - ask for compensation prior or raise after? |
t3_2gay5y | relationships | I (21F) recently found out he (21M) cheated on me. | I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. He has issues with alcohol, which I knew about, but bad things happen when he drinks. Over the summer, he got day drunk, met a girl at a pool, got her number and was flirting with her all day and lied to me about it. He did stop and deleted her number when I asked him to. I thought everything was fine until Thursday night, when I saw a text from a girl saying, "Everyone is flirting with me except for you. Meet up in 5 mins?!" at 1:30 in the morning while we were at my apartment. When I confronted him, he freaked out and said it's just a girl he met. He deleted her number and texts. The next day I broke up with him, though we ended up talking about the whole thing. Apparently he met her drunk, took her on a tea date sober, and kissed her. He said that's all he did (he lied to me the night before and said he didn't kiss her) but I still feel like he's lying to me. We're probationary dating now, no drugs or alcohol and if he does this again I'm out. I just can't get over the fact that he kissed another girl. Granted, he didn't sleep with her, but I've never been cheated on. How can I get over this? I love him and I want to be with him but I can't stop thinking about him kissing another girl. | Boyfriend cheated, but we're still together... How do I move past that? |
t3_1klvmt | travel | "Here are some pics from my trip" [50 total.] I love seeing travel pics, but less is more--give 5 highlight pics first and another link to the rest | I thought this was just me who felt this way, but after talking with a couple of other people, I realized it's not, so I thought I'd say something here.
I love people's travel pics. Don't get me wrong. But it seems like the tendency here is moving toward "here are a few pics I took on my trip to ____," and then there's an album with 30+ pictures. I've seen people post albums of 60+. Frankly, unless the first two or three are incredibly spectacular, I'm not going to look at all of those. I'd like to see maybe 10-20, but when someone posts a large album, chances are it's not carefully curated.
**Remember, you want to tell a story with your pics, but your readers may not want the whole novel at once!**
What will get me to look at people's photos:
1) 1-5 excellent "teaser pics" (preferably with a link in a post to a full gallery)
2) Specific title (not just "here are some pics from my trip to Europe." Europe is an entire continent. Where in Europe did you go?)
3) Not necessary, but really nice: how many photos are in your album
4) Keep your albums smallish--around 20 pics seems to be good. More than that and the "am I still scrolling?" starts to set in. | Less is more. Give us a few highlights and a link to more pics, or at least write the number of pics in your gallery in the title of the post. |
t3_1zp1oc | dating_advice | Just have a question about older twenty yr. old guy dating habits | Hi there, I'll try to make this short. I've had absolutely terrible dating luck in my 20 years, so I joined some dating sites. On the newest site I joined, I got a message from a guy (I'm female) and we started talking. Quite honestly, he seemed a little boring, so when he asked to meet up for coffee on Monday, I was hesitant. I sucked it up and I went. It turned out to be the absolute best dating experience I've ever had. We sat at the coffee shop for a couple hours, decided to go to the movies, which turned out to be closed, then we made out for a minute or two ( he was very sweet about it, and non-aggressive), and he held my hand when he drove me back to my car. While holding hands, I asked him if this meant that he was interested in going out again, and he said, "Absolutely!" Since I'm getting my wisdom teeth out this coming week, and he has drill this weekend, we decided to meet this coming weekend. Now, he is 28, and as I stated, he is very dull while texting, that is if he even replies. I know that we're getting along great and we're both looking forward to meeting again, but it secretly bothers me in the back of my mind. Is it normal for older guys to not be into texting so much? He asked me to call him when we exchanged numbers, which I replied with, that I'm not really into phone calls with new people. So I'm hoping he's just better with calling than texting, and that he's not just blowing me off. I'm just used to friends/dates texting like crazy. I'm completely overreacting, and I know it! I just need some reassurance, I want this to work out so badly!
Turned out long and not short. | Went on date with 28 yr. old guy, I am 20. Hit it off, and are both looking forward to meeting again. He appears to not be into texting, is this normal for older guys? |
t3_1xb0rt | relationships | I (22f) had to have a wart burned off and I'm afraid to tell my gf(24f) | Throwaway. Length of the relationship is 5 years. Everything is pretty good, but I will cut to the chase. I slept with someone while we were on a break and ever since then, she has had trust issues with me. I feel we've made it pretty much disappear but it still lingers
Growing up, I was covered with warts. Finally, they went away when I went to college. I tried everything to get rid of them but basically time was the only cure. I recently discovered one on my vulva area. I had it removed. She said not to worry about them being considered an STD unless I found more than one (which I have not in the 3 months since the procedure). I've been 100% faithful and had a clean STD screening before we made it "official" years ago (after the break)
I'm feeling guilty because although my own doctor said I didn't need to say anything, I feel like I have to. I'm just afraid she won't believe me when I say I haven't cheated or contracted an STD from anyone. Am I just being over anxious or should I tell my SO? | should I tell my SO about a wart I have removed, even though my doctor said not to worry about it? |
t3_2wgu4r | relationships | We (20f and 21m) broke up 2 and half weeks ago. He already slept with another. I am pretty upset. | We were dating for 2 years and a few months. We started a regular relationship but around an year and half into it, he moved to Germany to study, so we were long distance until our break up. I went to see him in November, and that was the last time we were together physically.
We broke up a couple of weeks ago, because the distance was pretty hard, mainly for him. It was an amicable break up, so much that we still speak everyday.
Yesterday, we were talking and he "told" (he didnt say, but I got the message) that he had sex with another girl. I was devastated.
I cried a lot and am still pretty heartbroken.
I can't stop thinking "*how could he be with another after only 2 weeks of your breakup?*", "*how could he fuck another woman in the same bed we slept together and made love together?*" and how I always loved him more than he loved me.
Granted, I already kissed another man, but I would not be able (emotionally speaking) to sleep with someone else without thinking about us.
I am still pretty upset... I know we are not together anymore, but really, I can not stop the thought that I loved him much, much more than he loved me.
What can you say to help me get over this? | My bf and I broke up a couple of weeks ago. He already slept with another woman and I am really heartbroken about it. |
t3_39c99y | tifu | r/TIFU by finding out my boyfriend's father had an affair | I live with my boyfriend (M24) and his parents while we are saving for our own place. I was looking for an envelope in the storage room and came across a notebook. Being nosy, I opened it and began reading the first random page it was opened to. I realized about 10 seconds in that it was his mother's diary from 2001. In the particular entry I read she wrote about how she is struggling to cope since finding out about her husband's affair. She went into details about the "much younger woman" and the "year of lies". I feel so bad for reading it and I know it was personal and none of my business but I can't un-read it and the damage has been done. His parents are still married and together and now I can't help but feel differently about his father. I know if my boyfriend found out he would be devastated so obviously I won't tell him. | Read boyfriend's mother's diary from 14 years ago and found out boyfriend's father had a year-long affair with a much younger woman. |
t3_3fvnp8 | relationships | I'm [26 F] financially dependent on my girlfriend [F 58] of 2 years, and it's freaking me out | Things are a little rough with my girlfriend and I. She's not a bad person, but I feel like we have less in common than we thought. We had a long distance relationship for 2 years, but now that we're living together we seem to be butting heads. I'm especially frustrated with her half-hearted support of my gender transition: she officially supports me but often criticizes me for not acting feminine enough, or tells me that I should transition slower.
This are not insurmountable differences. The problem is that I'm financially dependent on her, so I don't really have the option of leaving if things go south.
What do I mean by financially dependent? She lets me stay in her house for only $400 a month, which would probably cost me $500 or $600 for a comparable situation somewhere else. In addition, she lets me drive her spare car and all I have to pay is the gas and the marginal cost of adding me to her insurance. So it's not like she's giving me money per se, but she's not asking for as much as she could.
So if I moved my out my living expenses would probably increase by $300 or $400. This would be a serious burden for me. I'm currently making $8/hr in food service. I'm also taking classes to become a CNA, so in a couple months I'll be able to make $9 or $10. But even when I'm a CNA, paying an extra $300 or $400 a month would be a really big deal. I'm looking for ways to make more money, but I'm limited by the fact that we don't have a proper college in this small town so there's a limit to classes I can take.
I feel like this dependence is poisoning my relationship her. I don't feel safe disagreeing with my girlfriend because I don't want to make her angry and have her kick me out. Small bumps that would be no big deal in a normal relationship freak me out because I'm worried about running out of money.
How can I handle this situation? Is there a way to stop this from contaminating my relationship with my girlfriend? | I can't afford to break up with girlfriend, and that's ruining our relationship. What can I do? |
t3_upo33 | AskReddit | What is with the overuse of tl;dr? | Maybe it comes from being raised in a time when people still read books and newspapers and made phone calls longer than a minute. Maybe redditors are busy professionals who need the key takeaway before going on their working lunch. Maybe you are reading this by Morse Code. But - do we need to put in an abstract for a one paragraph post? I've been noticing it gets overused, to the point where the synopsis is only a handful of words shorter than the post!
If the reader doesn't have time to read for more than 3 paragraphs without the textual equivalent of a kiddie meal, then it on that reader to learn to read faster and better. And if I'm telling a story, FU because you are going to read every word that made the effort in choosing for your enjoyment. | is a tired joke. Or am I wrong? |
t3_c9e8y | AskReddit | Have you ever met someone you met on chat roulette IRL? Stories? | My friend invited two girls to come down one of who he met on chat roulette and talked too on skype etc etc. One of them is on an amateur porn site. They drove 6 hours and get here and low and behold my friend is too fucked up to function once they get here and disappears for 3 hours. So I pretty much try to cover for his ass and apparently make more progress with them in 3 hours than he did over 3 weeks. So I bring back the girl who was on the site to my house to smoke hookah while they look for him and get cock blocked by my friends, we head back and get her friend and they are both talking about staying with me in my bed considering my friend was being an ass and we finally find him and come back and i'm probably about 5 minutes away from my first threesome and my friend smarts them off and they go into super bitch mode and leave, but not before thanking me for being cool and gave me a kiss! SCORE! Then we laughed about it. | My cat was the only pussy I slept with last night. |
t3_2idyjc | relationships | I'm (23f) losing sexual attraction to my bf (23m) or 5 years and I want it back. | To keep it short- we have tons in common, get along great, have fun together, live together, etc. but I can't get past this.
I started losing interest in sex gradually after we had been dating for about 6 months, which I thought was normal because our honeymoon phase was ending. After about 9 months, I gained about 20 lbs and I thought my lack of interest in sex was because I felt so un-sexy. I got off of birth control in case that was causing it (had been on it since age 16) and I lost the weight (now I feel sexy again) but I just couldn't get the physical attraction back. Then, more recently, I thought it was because I didnt feel as close to him, we weren't being romantic, and I had some issues with him being irresponsible, which was a turn off, but those issues have all been addressed and resolved and we basically have the perfect relationship but I still can't get turned on by him.
He is still crazy about me and I know I turn him on. The problem is, it's gotten to the point where I almost want to push him away when we kiss/have sex. It doesn't feel right, but I want so desperately to get it back. For the first six months we were dating we couldn't keep our hands off of each other and had a great sex life but that has gradually dwindled to close to nothing.
I am not on any medication, I'm healthy and I exercise and eat right, and I still want sex/masturbate, and I have recently noticed my eyes wandering and other people turning me on (I feel terrible about this and would never act on it) but I just can't find that attraction to him anymore.
Everything else in our relationship is perfect and I love this man with all of my being. I'm just not attracted to him sexually, despite how much I want to. | Perfect relationship, but I have almost completely lost sexual attraction. I want to know how to get it back, or is this the end of the road for us? |
t3_22z1pf | relationship_advice | How to cope with a out-of-the-blue "break"? [20/F] & [20/M] | Backstory, we started dating in high school and we made it through our first year of college. He [20/M] ended up going to a school 100 miles away but we made the distance work. We saw each other every 3rd week, face timed every so often, etc. Everything really has seemed fine. We have had our usually arguments, nothing too bad though. Lately he's been pulling away and I confronted him about it. Things had seemed to get better but last night I had gotten upset about him lying to me (it was something trivial, shouldn't have even brought it up honestly). I had started crying on our FaceTime call, and he just sat there and did nothing. Which made it worse.. obviously. Then he got off the call and fell asleep before I could say goodnight.
I ended up venting a little bit in text when he was asleep about how I wish he would try to comfort me when I was upset (probably could've avoided that too). But today he kept acting like he's the worst boyfriend ever, how he doesn't treat me properly, and that he knows I'm "not" happy. (I really and truthfully am with him, I'm just overly emotional and college has stressed me out beyond belief and made me much moodier). But when I asked him if he was happy, he avoided the question and I knew something was up. We talked on the phone for an hour and he told me "he wasn't ready to settle down".. which was a complete shock to me because this whole relationship he always told me how much he couldn't wait for "our lives together after college" and we made future plans for this and that. He told me things aren't looking good and we need a break.
I'm just too in shock to be logical and can't think clearly. Any advice on how to cope? | My [20/F] boyfriend [20/M] of 1.5 years decided he wasn't ready to settle down and called for a "break" out-of-the-blue. Any advice? |
t3_pmj6f | AskReddit | a question for fellow guys, kinda NSFW text | So im a pretty normal sized guy downstairs, but one day, a "good friend" of mine and I start messing around, and when i pulled out my dick, it seriously surprised me.It was bigger both in length and girth. At first i thought it was just all in my head (haha), but before i even said anything about it, the "friend" said it was the largest she'd seen me before.
im just asking, is it normal get larger depending on certain factors? i mean, ive messed around with this girl plenty of times before, so its not like anything was new, but shoot, if i could get my dick that large every time, it'd add some more fun to the bedroom. Thanks | messed around with a girl, dick got noticeably larger than normal, is there something that some guys can do to get bigger? |
t3_ktjih | AskReddit | Weird ant-related incident question. | Background: I'd been gone for about three days, left my laptop on the floor at home. When I came back, I went to use it as usual, so I picked it up and took it to the kitchen. When I set it down on the table, I noticed a bunch of ants crawling out from underneath it. I flipped it over, and there were dozens upon dozens of ants rushing out of it like no tomorrow. I put my laptop outside and ran back to my bedroom, and saw that there were several dozen ants on the floor right where my laptop had been sitting for those three days. I looked around the rest of the room and there weren't any other ants anywhere else, just on or very near that one spot. I vacuumed them up from my room as best I could and set out ant traps in my room and on top of the laptop. A few hours later there seemed to be no remaining ants on the laptop, and seeing as I'm posting from it now, I'm assuming they're all dead if there were any left inside anyway.
My question is, how could they possibly have been attracted to solely the laptop and nothing else in my room? | Ants in my laptop, how did they get in there? |
t3_123u7p | BreakUps | Me 27M Her 31F says she's too easily dominated by a guy like me... anyway I can improve on this? | She more clearly said that she avoids confrontation, and that I easily dominated the relationship. I think one example was me moving in with her and the kids after six months. I used reasons like (we love each other, were going to move in anyways, it will save money, I can help watch the kids, it will be fun, we can see each other more, etc). She didn't come up with any counter points that I can remember (unless I just wasn't listening). Anyone have a similar situation and advice? I really messed up, and want to try and work on myself to see if I can win her back one day. We were happy until I fucked up... I wish I had something concrete like addiction that broke us up, that would be so much easier to correct.
I know she reads what I put on reddit, and she has her own account, I wish she would come on here and post or comment. | She feels like we're incompatible because I'm dominating and she avoids conflict. Any advice? |
t3_27wryh | relationship_advice | I [23/F] want to tell my boyfriend [26/M] how I'm feeling but don't want to freak him out.. | My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 months. He's recently told me he loves me, I said it back. He's not the most vocal about his feelings, but I want to tell him something kinda corny. I just want to get it off my chest, and I'm wondering if it's okay to say or will a guy be like..."okay calm down" kinda thing.
I just want to tell him that I've never felt this way about anyone before. I was in a relationship for three years that lacked a lot of things, and he has them all and more. I want to tell him how much I love how much passion there is between us and how he makes me really happy. I want him to know how much I appreciate him.
I'm a vocal person with my feelings, but I had kind of a wall up for the first few months and kind of kept a lot of my thoughts to myself in fear of becoming too invested. But now I'm invested and I have definitely fallen in love with him. I want him to know how I feel. Is that too much to say to a guy? Will that scare him away? I'm not looking for him to say all these romantic things back to me or anything, I just want him to know that I'm in this, because I'm sure he got the feeling I had a wall up before. He said I love you a few times before I said it back. The other day, I said it to him first and he stopped what he was doing and said "you have no idea how long I've waited for you to say that first. You just made me so happy". So I want him to know how I truly feel about him. Too much? | Should I tell my boyfriend how I'm feeling about him or keep "cool" and not say these things...? |
t3_1qtijo | relationships | This girl [25F] thinks her and I [24M] are dating. How do I let her down easy? | Met her on OKCupid. I didn't really like her profile or anything but as a 24 year old guy I want to meet as many people as possible to build some perspective and experience.
On our first date we met in a coffee shop, I could tell she really liked me (couldn't keep eye contact, gigantic smiles, kept kicking me etc.) but I didn't find her interesting or pretty. About 30 minutes in she decided to sit next to me, I let her do it, then she initiated more physical contact which I should've stopped but didn't because I know that it would make her feel like shit if I stopped her from leaning on my shoulder and stuff. After that, we met once more at another coffee shop and pretty much same thing happened. I try to be a gentleman and even when I'm not attracted to someone I treat them very nicely, but I think I sent the wrong message. Another mistake I made would be that she kept asking me why I don't have a girlfriend yet, accusing me of being a player with a lot of girls... and I denied that because it simply isn't true. But she took it as sort of confirmation that she is only girl in my life. Fuck my life.
She keeps texting me about making plans and wants to meet like 3 times a week. Not only that, she keeps demanding stuff from me (like making her food, taking her out to places, calling her everyday etc.) She also says she'll kill me if she sees me with another girl, I'm lucky to have her, how she showed pictures of me to her sisters and they spent hours talking about me etc. So my guess is that she thinks we're dating.
Similar things happened before in my life and I would just cut all contacts, but I don't want to do that anymore because it really hurts the girl's feelings. I can't say I have the guts to do it in person, but I would like to do it in person, so some advice regarding how to approach this situation would be very helpful. Thank you! | After two dates a girl thinks we're already dating but I'm not interested. I need an advice on how to let her down easily. |
t3_4551ns | personalfinance | Inherited stock help | Last year I was the beneficiary of an employee stock option plan. At the time I did not know that this SHOULD have went into a trust. I received 100% of the option payment but had to divide it between my brothers. I asked the IRS when I received the payment what would be the best route to take. They instructed me that my brothers would fill out a form regarding me "gifting" them the money and they would be taxed. I received the 1099r this year and when I went to my tax adviser they basically said that I'm more than likely super screwed and will have to pay the tax as if I received all of it. Although my brothers plan on paying the taxes on it too, with me being the beneficiary, it's putting my total income at about 6 times more than I actually make. This is going to make taxes reaaaaaaally difficult for me to pay. | Got a large amount of $, no trust, divided up. How can I not get screwed by these taxes? |
t3_1fu0gx | relationships | I[17f] can't control my temper with my sister[12f] and often end up emotionally hurting her...help? | I honestly am sick of myself, I've never had issues with controlling my temper before, It's only with her. She is very hard-headed like me and when we get into arguments neither of us back down. I think she is an amazing girl and I consider her to be my world, but It's like I can't help but argue with her. I've just gotten out of a extremley bad experience with depression and I'm still dealing with anxiety, and I feel like I'm messing her up too with how I treat her. I always say stuff I never mean and the other day we were in the middle of arguing and I said "Stop acting like such a self absorbed brat, just because you don't get your way doesn't mean you should hate them. Just be glad they aren't abusive." Then she said, "Well that doesn't matter when I have an abusive sister!"
and I realized she is right. I'm horribly abusive to her emotionally. I recognize that and I really *really* **really** don't want to be, but it always seems like I can't control my temper. I'd ask to go to anger management, but I've put my family through enough with all the depression counseling....
I also feel like I've brought down her self esteem. She used to be so bright and always happy and was everything I wanted to be, but I feel like I destroyed that. I've tried to blame it on her becoming a teenager, but I know it's me.
Can anyone give me advice on to how to make our relationship work, and make her feel like I love her again?
Is there some type of counseling I can do online? | I emotionally abuse my sister in arguments and I feel like I made her develope a form of depression. how do I fix it and control my anger? |
t3_4yijsf | tifu | TIFU by putting hair styling gel up my ass | So, I usually sleep naked during the summer cause I don't have an AC in my dorm room. Ever since I started dating my girlfriend, I've been having these weird experiences that I'll dub "sexsomnia". I sometimes get up in the middle of the night and do the craziest things to get off without control of myself ( kinda like sleepwalking), then when it actually happens I regain full control of my body and mind. So this time, I was sleeping naked, and i woke up at about 3:30am or so, walked over to my closet and blindly searched for my jar of moisturizing cream, grabbed a jar, and lay down on my bed. I took a wad and proceeded to finger my asshole. It hurt and burned and I don't know why I did it because a few minutes later I woke up with my asshole on fire. Turns out that the perpetrator of this arsical blaze was the jar of cream.
Because it wasn't cream.
It was hair gel.
So there i was, in the bathroom at 3 in the morning, wiping my asshole with wet paper towels and caressing my poor, now-stylish asshole. | Tried to moisturize rectum, ended up styling it. |
t3_2uq7ps | tifu | TIFU by attacking the leader of the drum line with cymbals | So a few years ago, as a freshman, I had to do something called "Pep Band". It was a requirement for all band students where you just go to a school basketball game and play music with the rest of the band. There was this brass kid that would always screw with the percussion instruments for no damn reason. As a percussionist, I felt it was my responsibility to stop him every time he did this. I usually did this by poking him with a stick, or just hitting him with whatever I currently had in my hand. So one time at pep band I saw someone who looked like the previous mentioned kid grabbing some cymbals. So I went up to him, said "back off" and whacked him with my cymbals. He slowly turned around and said in a stern voce "What. The. Fuck". I then realized that it was the leader of the drum line, who already hated me. So I dropped my cymbals and hauled ass. | I attacked a well known senior as a freshman because I mistaked him for an annoying dickbutt. I then ended up being the annoying dickbutt. |
t3_2ntius | Dogtraining | Older dog mounting my younger dog | Lurker here, not sure if this has already been addressed so I apologize in advance if it's been posted elsewhere...
I recently adopted a eight-year-old spayed chihuahua mix. I have another dog, a four-year-old spayed chihuahua mix that I've had since her birth. The dogs thus far get along well, enjoy playing, running, etc. They have no issues sharing food and don't seem territorial with their toys or even bedding. They however have always had their own individual crates, beds, and bowls.
Recently, though, the older dog started mounting the younger one. I'm not sure why. The mounting results in snapping, though she doesn't stop the mounting unless I physically remove her. The dogs get along fine otherwise, but I would like for the older dog to stop mounting since my verbal cues (firm "NO!") don't help. | Dogs got along well until the recently-adopted older dog started mounting and causing younger dog to snap at her. |
t3_556hqs | relationships | Me [23F] with my BF [23M] (6 months) I have trouble dealing with people coughing and it's becoming destructive | Its really unusual to be *this* intolerant to people coughing, but its usually managable by removing myself from the situation. However, my boyfriend has recently been staying with me as it's closer to university, and there have been no hiccups until now - he's developed bronchitis.
Since having ENT surgery as a kid, because of the way it healed I don't suffer coughs like most people - just a painful throat which goes away in time. As a result, for many years I considered coughing to be very unhygienic and intolerable as I wasn't really able to relate to involuntary coughing, until my best friend a few years ago explained that it's something that people often can't really help. Ever since, I've been really careful manage my annoyance, being mindful of what they're going through. I carry around earphones in my handbag just in case, and I never give people filthy looks or anything. My friends notice how I stiffen with coughing and playfully tease me about it.
I know it's ridiculous, but with past relationships I have been totally unavailable when my boyfriends have developed a cough, and in my most recent ex a few years ago asked him if he could stay with his parents nearby while he had one. I've been careful to manage it and compensate this time, but my current boyfriend pointed out that I've been uncharacteristically irrate, a little unavailable and cold otherwise. With previous boyfriends when I was younger, it was way worse, but despite my efforts it's still there.
Is my attitude to coughing way out of the ordinary? How do you manage when your partner has a sickness which can be really irritating? | I get very (but quietly) irritated when people have coughs, though work to manage it. However, I find it difficult in relationships and this time my boyfriend has noticed me being irrate and cold despite my best efforts and trying to compensate. Is my thing with coughing something I need to talk through with someone? How can I better manage it? |
t3_2ex8v8 | loseit | M/35 320ish - 242 and still going string | Lurking for awhile. The sharing of MFP profiles has made me a little more social and has reinvigorated my attempt to get healthy. I always thought that Getting slim would be inpossible. So with that mind set I never tried. At my heaviest I was over 320lbs and just became diabetic. Started eating "healthy" or so i thought. Wasnt really losing weight. I Started counting calories and frequent trips to the gym and the lbs just started to shed off!
I have Since been taken off some of my meds, have better control of my type2 and No longer get winded walking up stairs! i guess those would be my NSV! | Lost 80lbs by ACTUALLy eating healthy and exercise. |
t3_ikjpm | AskReddit | Help Reddit! I need an excuse so I don't get fired tomorrow! | Okay so quick back story. 3 months ago I was warned about having a few sick days, although nothing formal. Just today I got back from a 1 week trip. Other people on my shift with more seniority have asked for this same week off, and were declined so I didn't bother asking for time off. Instead I just called in sick. I called in for 4 days. I think theres a good chance I could be fired, although I am with a union.
I need a good excuse that I can use, eg. some type of sickness that typically lasts a week.. anything believable. | I need a really good excuse for calling in sick for a week so I dont get fired! |
t3_2fwsx3 | relationships | Help free my Mum from a psychologically and emotionally abusive relationship. | Hi.
My mum (mother) currently supports my grandma and myself.
She has been in a relationship for 10 years.
A relationship that probably should have ended 6+ years ago.
She is constantly told she is wrong, on any statement she makes about anything. He always has the "better" and "correct" answer.
She has never been subject to physically violence as far as I know, but he always yells and is very passive aggressive.
If there is ever a disagreement she gets yelled at and repetitively told all the things she does wrong.
She is subject to a lot of psychological and emotional abuse.
My mum has resorted to staying time and time again because she could not conceive how to escape with her financial capabilities.
I accept him as a person. I understand that everyone becomes who they are through the environment they grew up in and their life experiences. If someone has bad traits it is not truly their fault. At times I feel sorry for him because he works hard and must be lonely.
But my mum has suffered for so many years. She has told me how unhappy she is and I have heard hundreds of arguments over the years. These two people cannot be in a relationship and be happy.
I have just finished university and struggling to find a job, any job. And my Grandma had knee surgery yesterday. She will come home in a few days and require constant care for 6 months, at which point she will receive surgery on her other knee. My mum has taken time of work for the first two weeks and I will be here for the rest of the time.
I need to find a way to get her out of this situation.
She lives paycheck to paycheck.
I really want for my mum and all of us to be in a different place by the time my grandma is released from hospital (optimistic).
Any and all advice is appreciated :).
I will setup a GoFundMe or Paypal Donate for those able to help that way. A lot of small amounts would add up.
Or if I could somehow convert my free time / humility into funds.
I don't know. I will start by posting this :) | My mum is stuck in a psychologically and emotionally abusive relationship because we can't figure out a financially viable escape. |
t3_1xjie1 | relationships | I'm [M18] attracted to my friend's [M18] girlfriend [F18] | I have a friend who has been dating a girl for about a year. Before they started dating, I was friends with both of them, and I was happy for them.
It has become apparent, however, that he doesn't really seem to care about the relationship. He cheated on her 6 months ago (she still doesn't know), was going to break up with her to hook up with one of his female friends before deciding against it, and is generally not open with her.
I have become frustrated at this because I really do like this girl. We have a similar sense of humor, she's pretty, and there are a lot of little things about her I like. She also tends to act somewhat flirty with me, which makes it worse.
What do I do? Wait until they break up? Any advice is appreciated. | I'm attracted to my friend's girlfriend. He's not a good boyfriend and I don't know what to do. |
t3_gnk7d | AskReddit | How much rent do you pay? | Hai Reddit! I have been using Reddit for a few years like an addict. I made this new account because I am starting a new job soon (my first "real" job!). I'm fairly sure my new boss is at least aware of Reddit, and I didn't want to risk him somehow linking the IRL me to the Reddit me.
Anyways I figured one of my first posts could be something I have wanted to ask for a while now: How much do you pay in rent? I really want to know because from time to time I see people on here mention how much their rent is. Sometimes it blows my fucking mind how much people pay.
In fact right now on the front page is this thread:
In it the OP says he had a 3bd2ba house and was paying 1600$ a month. Fucking shit! I'm willing to say I live in West Virginia, and for that price around here you can practically rent a mansion. Hell, a few years ago I lived in a 5bd(6 if you really wanted)2bath house by a park and it was only 900 a month. Right now I pay 385 and that covers all utilities AND my place has a huge AC built into one window. Now, technically, my place is a "efficiency." That being said I have lived in several efficiency apartments and calling current place an efficiency apartment is a bit stretch. | I see what some people pay for rent on Reddit and it blows my mind. How much do you pay? |
t3_hnjco | AskReddit | Dear reddit all of my closest friends have rekindled friendships with my ex who I hate after years of no contact. I don't want to loose my friends, but I don't want to share them with that bitch either. What can I do? | We split up like 5 years ago after a 6.5 year relationship. The last time I remember seeing her she tried fucking someone I thought was a friend on the couch at my birthday party when they thought everyone was passed out. Then shit hit the fan and holes got punched in walls.
After that I kept my core group of like 4 friends and broke off contact with almost everyone else. As far as I know my friends had no more contact with her than chance encounters in public places. Then some time in the last year she started creeping back in. Having dinner with their families and various activities. Then the other night she had a birthday party and they all went. None of my friends sees the double standard here because every one of them would be pissed if I started hanging out with their ex's.
I don't want to loose my friends, but I would rather start over in that regard than have that bitch back in my world with only one degree of separation. I don't know how to handle this. Help me. | My friends are being hypocrites by hanging with my ex and I cannot accept them being friends with her. What do I do? |
t3_3erc2q | relationships | My [16/M] mother [40+/F] slapped me over communication issues | My mother got angry today morning that I wasn't communicating properly with her.
I agree that I was not being the best at communicating and was not really talking to her all that much this week because I had a lot of other plans but she got really angry today because I didn't tell her that I was going to the beach and only told them I was "going out".
She then blew her top and slapped me on nose really hard and it almost bled. We've had a lot of breakdowns like this over the past year and this one is no different.
From the time I left the house, she kept messaging me and calling me, saying that if I leave, it is my loss and it is for my good that I should stay with her and keep our relationship. My father also tried to say that she was acting up and that I should try to move on. It has been more than 5 years since either of my parents raised their hands on me and I was very stunned that my mother had done it today.
What do I do? I am not very interested in keeping a relationship with my mother so how do I slowly distance myself from her? | Mother hit me today for the first time in years over a small issue. Parents have been trying to get me to forgive and forget. How do I distance myself slowly? |
t3_us7gi | AskReddit | Reddit, what are some mind games and tricks you like to play on people? Examples inside. | There's a game that requires one partner to play in order to fuck with peoples' minds. It's called "cahoots." You start by asking your partner if you're in cahoots. Your partner will tell you yes. The point of the game is for them to guess which item YOU are thinking about. You start by listing items. "Is it the computer?" No. "Is it that pencil?" No. "Is it your pants?" No. "Is it my pants?" YES. Your partner will know what item it is you chose because of a code word or code system you set up before you played. In this case the code word is any PERSONAL pronoun. Your, my, his, her, their, our. They will know the next item you pick is going to be right item and their answer should be YES.
This is a lot of fun when there's a 3rd party around and they pick the item and the person saying YES or NO is supposed to figure it out. The game is meant to be played around people who don't understand the game. It's a troll game but there should be a rhyme and reason to it so other people watching can pick it up and figure it out.
Another game in the same vain is called spoons. Get a group of people and it goes like this "There's a spoon here, here, a spoon here, a spoon in his glasses, a spoon on your nose and a spoon in my shoe. OK?" You stop and make it seem like a casual question. Just to see if they're following with how many spoons you've pointed out so far. You can continue doing this for as long as you want, but you have to keep in mind how many times you stopped and asked if they understood.
In this case the answer is only one spoon because you stopped and said "OK?" one time. Every time you stop and say something like "all right?" "ok?" "good?" They should count one. A lot of people don't get this and try counting spoons for a long, long time. Your OKs should be subtle. They might think there are 47 spoons but the spoons are the number of times you say "ok?" or "all right?" | Reddit, what mind games, brain games, or verbal puzzle games do you know and like to play, and confuse and aggravate people with? |
t3_nxim5 | relationships | Love at first sight, she says | So I met a girl, she asked me out, I'm 17 (m) years old and I recently asked her if she wanted to be my girl and she said yes. one super mega socially akward first-kiss later, I am typing this.
I have a feeling that its going too fast, and I also have a feeling that she isn't too enthusiastic about seeing me. though that might also be because I'm paranoid around relation ships (longer story than you could imagine). she recently (I think??) broke up with her ex-boyfriend, though I don't know much about that, some people seemed to be confused about me being her new boyfriend aswell.
how do I know she really loves me? I also feel like everything I do is the wrong thing to do, since with 'love at first sight' it seems as if she believes/believed* I am perfect, which I am far from. I don't want to mess this up since I never got such an opportunity :/ | girl says it was love at first sight, I'm not sure if its going too fast and I have a feeling that I disappoint her with every step I take. |
t3_nny5m | AskReddit | What the thing your body does that annoys you the most? I'll go first... | If im in a hurry and need to take a shit, ill decide to pull the trigger on it depending on the importance of where im headed, and varying degrees of comfort. But sometimes holding it is impossible thus I have to go right away. Why is it almost every time this happens I'll shit and it will take 5 minutes, and a half a roll of toilet paper to get my asshole clean? When im not in a hurry and im just laying around the house ill shit and wipe and nothing will come off on the paper. One and done. If by chance I am home and I know its gonna take half a roll ill just hop in the shower and clean up. Nothing worse than continuing your day with a raw ass. | Why when I take a shit when something important is going on does it takes half a roll, but when nothing is going on ill wipe and nothing will come off on the paper. This annoys the fuck out of me. |
t3_514lnt | personalfinance | My mommy single-handedly destroyed my credit | To begin, I am a responsible college student. About 8 months ago, my mother's dog was dying from a uterus infection. Without telling me, she signed me up for a Carecredit card without my permission. She used me as the primary and my step dad as the co-signer. Her credit is trash. By saving the dog's life, she put $1,800 dollars of debt and a maxed credit card in my name. This wasn't a huge issue until recently. After 6 months, all the interest was thrown on the balance, (17%) and then she managed to miss a payment. I started out with a 650 credit score going into school. Putting the card and maxing it brought me to 510, then missing a payment brought me to 430. So essentially, I can't do anything about housing, cars or whatever, if I wanted to. Is there anyway I can get my name and record clear, especially since I did not provide permission to put me on this card? I'd rather not destroy my relationship with her by taking her to court, or at least until I get out of school in a year. | Mom actively ruining credit, need a solution that will hopefully maintain relationship and financial aid for school. |
t3_2jugmj | askwomenadvice | How do I suggest a possible cosmetic procedure to my wife? | Ladies let me first say that I love my wife dearly and her welfare is my utmost concern. I am looking for advice on how I should approach my wife on her hair. My wife has always hated her forehead and hairline since it is on the larger and higher side. When i say she is extremely "ashamed" of it, it is a huge understatement. Her confidence is def shaken by it even when it comes to me (married for 1 year, together for 6). This self-esteem issue is not healthy for her or our relationship so I want to suggest to her to look into treatment for it (including cosmetic surgery). My hope would be that she would have a boost in her confidence and self-esteem and her concerns would go away if she received treatment. I thinl that she is beautiful the way she is but my words seem to fall on deaf ears when it comes to this subject.
I am a very blunt man and I want to avoid damaging her confidence further so how can I make the suggestion for her to start loking at options?
Fyi- I know for a fact she would never think of doing this unless I suggested it, she just doesnt think that way. She would just continue looking down on herself. She is 28 btw. | Need help showing wife options for cosmetic treatment on her hairline which she is ashamed of |
t3_2r347c | askwomenadvice | guy you've known for a while, but hardly hang around anymore or talk to, suddenly strikes a conversation and drops the bomb that he's interested. How do you react? | This happened 3 times in the past few months. I moved here 3 years ago, and started university classes with a group of people and we had the same classes for a couple of months. After a while I ended up with different schedules and group of friends.
Then out of nowhere in the past few months, 3 guys from back then messaged me. One guy said he had a huge crush on me for the longest time and wished he had said something then. (he left school and just got a job instead). I told him I was seeing someone as I was not interested.
The other dude messaged me like a week ago, he had a huge crush on a friend of mine when we had classes together, wouldn't shut up about her, and here he is talking to me out of the blue as well, and then says he's got an awkward question. I know what it might be, but if I say no, then it's gonna bug me if it was something else, but if I let him ask, I know I'm gonna hate having to answer it. 'Are you sexually attracted to me?' Ehh, told him to check my profile, says I'm in a relationship (I love that I can revert to that if need be to get away from something).
And finally this other dude messages me a bit ago that's super close to the first dude that messaged me and after small talk he's like, so how's the love life? I was just like 'why do you ask?' and he goes 'idk was just kinda curious I guess' just curious? umm you had intentions...
ahh, I hate these awkward situations, and I can just tell when it's gonna happen too, but in order to not be rude, I keep the conversation going and then bam, they bring up the elephant in the room.
Just wondering how other girls deal | How do you deal when someone you've known for a while but stopped talking to shows interest out of the blue? |
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