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t3_1l07lc | relationships | My friend (29M) is acting like an idiot after I (27F) got a boyfriend. What should I do? | So basically, long story short, he has already had his chance and completely bombed it by acting like an idiot by kissing me while I was with someone else. The take away point from that is that he said he just wanted to be friends because he was unsure what he wanted from me (even after I became single from said above relationship) and he didn't want to be unfair to me. So he rejected me in that sense, and we've managed to still stay friends, as we were friends for a long time beforehand.
Now to the interesting part. Fast forward a few months, I tell him about this guy, since well, we are still friends and were very close for a long time before anything became more than platonic (who is now my boyfriend) and he starts acting like a jealous idiot - asking me while I am out at the bar if I am picking up hot guys, etc. Then, after only not speaking to him for a day, him asking me why I am being so silent.
When I told him that my boyfriend and I were official, ever since then he has barely spoken to me. I honestly don't really get what his deal is as he was the one who rejected me in the first place. | Friend rejected me, is acting like a jealous idiot now that I have moved on and have a boyfriend. |
t3_3h39ii | relationship_advice | [29M] My wife (29F) decided to go off the pill and not tell me. | We have talked about having a baby for a while, but I have made it clear I am not ready yet. We also have her student loans (1 year left because we are sinking a lot of $/month into it) and are trying to save for a down payment on a house while renting. I handle most of the finances and showed her why waiting just a bit longer would put us in great financial place to conceive and provide for a baby.
As far as I know, she has been on the pill since we met. After getting our groove on last night, she said something about how we should start trying to conceive and it led me to saying that I thought she was on the pill. This prompted her to explain she had gone off the pill almost a month ago.
I freaked out, got dressed, said something along the lines of she's like a crazy girlfriend you read stories about, and left. Drove around to clear my head and when I came back I asked her wtf she was thinking and if she was planning on telling me. She had no real response to offer beyond saying she wasn't thinking and said she would go back on the pill. This pissed me off even more because she wasn't even seeing that the real issue wasn't her being on or off the pill, but her taking a decision that affects both of us for at least the next 20+ years into her own hands and being deceitful.
How do I handle this? I feel extremely betrayed to the point of not wanting to see her. If this were a girlfriend she would be out the door by now. | wife decided to go off pill for nearly a month and didn't tell me. |
t3_msz1f | AskReddit | Reddit, I'm a 44 year old man who has no idea who his biological parents are. Think you could help me find out? | Backstory: Born in 1968, adopted a few days after birth. Never met biological Mom nor do I know anything about her except that she was not married to my bio Dad and that I was "an accident." I have reason to suspect she was not living in the US at the time she got preggers but came to St.Louis, Missouri, to have me (for some fucking reason, I have no idea...) but I don't think she was American. Matter of fact I know she was German. Actually I know a bit more thanks to a "non-identifying information packet" that I requested from the adoption agency a year ago. 15 pages of information that does nothing to help me identify them but gives some basic biographical details. My bio parent's never got married or had any other kids. I'm guessing I've got a couple of half-brothers and sisters running around out there and I'm sort of dying to know if I do... so can anyone help me with this? The adoption agency wants 450 bucks just to contact them and see if they'd have any interest in contacting me. If either of them says "no" then I won't ever find out who my bio parent's are and I think that is unfair. I want basic medical information which I feel is my right as a human. What diseases run in my bio family, etc? It's important to know this kind of stuff. Also I'm in St.Louis, Missouri and the adoption laws are very harsh where adopted kids are concerned. We basically have zero rights to any information where our parent's are concerned. I can't afford the 450 and don't want to take a chance they will say "no" and that will be that and I'll never know their name or if I have any brothers or sisters... can or would reddit like to help me find out who my birth parent's are? I'd be deeply appreciative. | who's my daddy? |
t3_4a4c6l | relationships | Is it wrong that I [23 M] dont want to go out with my friend [21 F] because I dont like the way she looks? | Before calling me a monster just here me out
Basically the title. I've known this girl for ages, and she's practically my best friend: she's smart, fantastic, and a level of sarcasm to rival my own.
Lately (I think) she's shown signs of interest. I say "i think" because I dont know if i'm reading too much between the lines or if I'm just too dumb to see the hints
But the thing is, I don't want to go out with her. She's far from anybody's definition of ugly (and im not looking for a supermodel type either), but I'm just not attracted to her physical appearance; not my "taste", if you will.
Is it wrong? Am I a bad person because I don't like the way she looks? I'm so confused | Is it wrong to not want to go out with sb based on the way she looks? |
t3_37m2wv | relationships | Me (19F) with my SO (21M) of 5 years, lied about something I saw on his computer | On mobile so I apologize for any formatting mistakes. The other day I was with my boyfriend "Dave". He works overnights so when we hang out I'm usually awake before he is. I often use his computer to play games and what not, and he knows this. You know how Google Chrome shows your most visited websites? I opened the browser and one of the sites was OKCupid. I didn't snoop, I just clicked the page and saw that he had an account logged in.
Fast forward to today, I asked him about it. He said one of his friends sometimes uses it on his computer. Stupid lie. He says something like "I don't need websites like that because I choose you". I'm typically very understanding when it comes to things with him. We've been together for a long time and I understand that he's going to have urges and fantasize about other women. Our sex life is also very healthy, we both have a high libido.
I really don't mind if he's using sites like this to talk to random girls, I get it. I'm not going to assume he's cheating on me. Reason being, he's told me he could never hurt me like that. Yes, I believe him. Also, his brother or friends would more than likely know and tell me about it. But I can't figure out why he would lie about using a website like this.
He's currently sleeping and I'm trying to figure out what to say to him when he wakes up. Any advice? | Found OKCupid on SO's computer, lied about it |
t3_x4pfu | relationships | Need help with overly-controlling roommate | It's the beginning of a new lease year and I own a house with several roommates, all of us are f/mid-20s except for the one m/mid-20s roommate who just moved in and thinks he owns the place. The main rule in moving in is no furniture except for your bedroom (the house is already furnished). I've since learned that he can't take "no" for an answer and just pushes til he gets his way which landed me another two couches and other pieces of furniture.
Besides for trying to control the physical environment, I've also noticed a problem with his attitude towards women - very old boys club type mentality. His condescending remarks (not sure if misogynistic comments are his type of jokes?) need to end now. I also don't want to be someone's live-in housekeeper because frankly I don't have time and we're too old to not be able to clean up our own messes. Basically, he thinks the world revolves around him and none of us can live up to his standards.
He's also expressed irritation at having roommates in general - he knew he was moving into a house with a majority of girls (who were here first) so I don't know why the situation is a surprise to him now.
My plan is to just continue acting as friendly as possible, but I know I need to say something for the sake of everyone's sanity - I don't want people feeling uncomfortable where they live and spend most of their time. Any advice on how to approach this conversation would be appreciated! | Need advice on how to deal with an overly-controlling roommate while maintaining the peace. |
t3_22shaj | college | URGENT: I need advice for a withdrawal appeal (medical) | Hello /r/college!
So I'm not sure anyone will have any particular experience in this situation but I'm hopeful someone will be able to guide me in the right direction.
I recently suffered an accident in which I burned my entire right arm and subsequently missed 3 weeks of school (Essentially I missed of all March) and upon returning I was put in a situation where I had to do 2 months of work in 1 as well as prepare for finals. Not only is this in itself a difficult task, but my classes are extremely cumulative (Think philosophy, bio, HISTORY).
So my situation is this, in the appeal form for a medical withdrawal, it says I need to provide my previous institutions transcripts. My first year in college, I bombed and dropped out. Came back home and went to school here. I did a summer session as well as a semester and did FANTASTIC. However, I never gave my current school my first year's transcript (Because I earned 0 credits so what was the point?)
Do you think I need to provide my first colleges transcript on this appeal form? My issues with this is that 1. It's going to take time to receive and the deadline is approaching and 2. It might affect my appeal!!!
What should I do? Provide or not provide? | I'm trying to appeal for a medical withdrawal in which it asks for all previous institutions transcripts. I never sent my school my first year's transcript (Which was a different college from my current, in which i earned 0 credits so I never sent it in anyways) so they have no records of it. Should I not send it in and just provide my current schools transcript? |
t3_304yvu | relationships | My boyfriend (29 M) still lives with his parents and follows them around everywhere. Am I (27 F) wasting my time here? | I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 8 months, at first things were great - he was gorgeous and funny and we had great chemistry and that was all I needed at the beginning. However, the more time I spend with him the more I realise he is weirdly attached to his family, especially his mother.
He still lives with both his parents, his mother gives him a lift to work in the morning and she manages his appointments for him, cleans his bathroom, washes his clothes and cooks for him. He doesn't pay any rent (in spite of him having a really well paid job at an investment bank) and instead spends most of his money on weed. His parents have even built an extension at the back of their house solely for he and his brother (both stoners) to smoke in.
He spends a lot of social time with his parents as well and they text each other all day when they're not together, which again I think is sweet but they are SO close that I find it unsettling. They both treat him like a child in spite of the fact that he's almost 30. I've talked to him about his future plans because I really love him and care for him but he's insisting he never wants to leave home! Which makes me seriously wonder if there is any future for us. | My boyfriend who is almost 30 is overly close to his parents and doesn't want to leave the nest, ever. Am I wasting my time? |
t3_erjf6 | AskReddit | I just recently found out how sad and bleak my Uncle's life is and I want to make it better. | (Hey guys, long time lurker, first time poster)
My father passed away earliar this month (December 6th), and as a result my mother, sister and I expected Christmas with her family to completely suck. It wasn't terrible.
But while I was at my Aunt's I actually spoke to my Uncle. He is an older man who has been an alcoholic his entire life. Just recently he lost his job as a school bus driver because his doctor removed his license. He has no feeling in his hands or feet and therefore isn't exactly fit to transport children to and from school. The numbness is so great that he only realizes when his cigarette his burning his skin when he can smell the flesh burning.
Him and my father were very close, and I thought it would be awkward to visit with him, but it wasn't. Instead I shared a drink with him for the first time in my entire life. I actually spoke to him, and I realized how sad and lonely he is.
Without a job the only thing he does all day is watch TV or sit at the table and memorize the cars that drive by. He's been sitting at the table doing nothing for so long that he knows the routine of the **birds** throughout the day. When my Aunt gets home they watch TV together until he's too exhausted to be up any longer, then he goes to bed and the entire thing starts over.
Here's where I need your help, Reddit. I want to give him something, or say something, or do something to give him a little hope. Because he can't feel anything in his hands, he can't do a lot of things. He can't even read a book or play cards anymore. I don't live nearby, so I can't visit very often. I brought up the idea of buying a bird book for him to read and he seemed interested, but I want something more. | My uncle is old and sad and decrepit and I want to show him that his life isn't over. |
t3_383qr9 | relationships | Me [28 F] with my Abusive Ex Husband [35 M] Social media whinging after our breakup, I want to tell my story but I don't want to ruin his reputation forever. | I just got out of a marriage (separated, not yet signed papers) with an emotionally manipulative and physically abusive husband.
We are both sort of public figures who built our reputation as a married couple with 40k+ followers on twitter/insta/fb and after I left, he's been on a self pitying public grieving session. His twitter is full of cryptic tweets that people can imply the fallout of our relationship, but he has yet to call me out directly for anything specific. He posts sad quotes and pictures of sad people (JGL in 500 days of summer, Don Draper Mad Men)
I took a different direction where I basically did not post about the relationship at all and have been performing business as usual on all social media. I feel like this appears like I'm a heartless bitch who dumped him, and has no feelings about it. When the truth is that I just don't feel like it's anyone's business except the people I choose to share that info with.
And I know this is an awful impulse, but I see all the people who are running to him and telling him things will be okay and trying to comfort him and I get sort of angry. He beat me and emotionally abused me for years and I'm protecting his reputation. I could post the pictures of my bruises or even do cryptic tweets back, but I know I shouldn't and it's a bad idea for all involved.
I know I shouldn't do this either, but part of me worries about his next girlfriend. I got with him when I was just 18yo and based on his talent and reputation I have a feeling a naive fangirl is going to try and get with him and suffer.
I guess I just want someone to help me sort out these feelings and emphasize what a BAD IDEA it is to give into these terrible and base desires. | Ex is having a very public grieving session on social media. I want to post about the abuse I suffered but I don't want to ruin his life. Talk me down reddit. |
t3_100kfa | relationships | I [mid-twenties female] will be meeting my boyfriend [mid-twenties male]'s Islamic mom next week. I will only be introduced as a friend. How can I not screw this up? | My boyfriend and I have been together for five years and would like to publicize our engagement in 6 months. His family feels dating is a sin hence I have never met them. We rather not shock his parents so we felt me being introduced as a friend six months before hand is a good idea.
She will meet me and another friend of his as she drops some food off nexr week at my boyfriend's apartment. I don't think the exchange will last for more than five minutes but as expected I am very nervous. I do not want it to become evident during the exchange that I am his girlfriend nor do I want her to see me as someone not swell enough to be his son's friend.
How should I do this? I want to make it perfect. Any tips?
Pardon the throwaway; my boyfriend loves Reddit and I rather him not know of my nerves. | I am meeting my boyfriend's Islamic mom as a friend. How can i not screw it up? |
t3_30cjdd | tifu | TIFU by trying to use Windows 2012 server | This happened today. I am 19 and not very tech savvy. I had a malfunctioning windows 7. It read not genuine despite being bought new at best buy. So, when i read on reddit about something called dreamspark, i checked if my school supported it. They did so I was able to get the windows 2012 server. I follow all the steps. Then, after allowing me to login, i get a black screen and a command prompt. Nothing worked. Looked up videos, no help. Now i messed up my brother's essay, and when my parents find out, they'll most likely ask me to pay. | downloaded windows 2012 server. Frozen computer. |
t3_3onthv | relationships | I [M/17] am having difficulty understanding my girlfriends [F/26] mind | I honestly have nowhere else to go, and I just felt that you guys/girls could help me.
So we have been together for about 7 months (not that long I know) and things are going pretty well, but its just sometimes...I don't know what to do. She gets mad at me worrying about her cheating on me, (I guess that is understandable)but its my first ever relationship and I honestly sometimes still get scared. She means the work to me and I want to do everything I can to keep her happy! Its just every once in a while I guess I do something stupid, and she tells me she is hurt by it, and I feel terrible. This has happened more than once. She has gotten mad at me for me wanting to protect her and take care of her (because I guess she doesn't want me getting hurt). But in this whole process, I get hurt, and she doesn't even ask about it, its always me. Not too long ago, she cut herself because I punched a hole in my wall and hurt my hand cause I got REALLY frustrated and the situation we were in. She was pretty sad for a couple days, and I would ask her what's wrong, she would say she is still hurt by what happened. WHAT ABOUT ME!! I WAS HURTING TOO!! It hurt to see your own special someone slice a razor across there skin, and knowing it was your fault, somehow...I just feel like there is no way out. I don't want to keep hurting her like this...
(I'm sorry if this is a wall of text I'm a real beginner with all of reddit basically) | I am having lots of trouble dealing with the fights we have sometimes, I supposedly always the "bad guy" |
t3_4rwdry | askwomenadvice | Can women read guys this easily? | Let me apologize beforehand, this might be a bit unorganized and long but I'm just going off the top of my head because this just happened.
Hi gals, I just got done talking with a girl I work with (we're both 21). Let's call her Karen. To preface the question, here's some background information. I have another friend named Aaron[20/M] who likes a girl named Taylor[22/F] at our workplace.
Aaron just told a few of us that he had feelings for this girl, which shocked a lot of us, except Karen(she's the only girl in the group, while Taylor's in a different group). Karen apparently knew from the first day that Aaron had feelings for the other girl because of "the way he directed his conversation to her". That's a direct quote. THE FIRST DAY.
I've made some possible conclusions in my mind already but I would love to hear some feedback
1) Logical - Karen's quite pretty and has a great personality in my opinion so maybe she has more exposure and knowledge of these situations
2) Karen made a guess on the first day and it translated into reality, or this was a fluke. (But she did say she was 100% sure)
3) woman's intuition?
4) Karen's an evil witch with unholy magic.
In my life, I've been in fights and I've been around gunfire, but NOTHING has scared/shocked me more than what I was just told. I'm just really shocked that she could notice something so subtle so fast because nobody else knew. | To all the women on here, I need help understanding how this works. Can y'all really read a guy that easily? |
t3_4hnm8t | relationships | Me [28 M] with my fiancée [28 F] 5 months, should I really get married now? (no children/pregnancy) | We're together for almost 5 months now. Within 2 months of our relationship, she has already mentioned marriage with me. I can understand how she seems pressing about getting married soon due to her age.
The thing is I really do like her, but it seems very rushed and I am already feeling very pressured as we near our marriage date. I don't feel happy. I feel confused and I feel like I'm counting down to the days of my death. But sometimes I feel that I could be happy spending the rest of my life with her. Part of me is also afraid that I won't find someone better than her later down the road. I am also a bit tired of going out to meet new girls and start the process all over again. That's one of the reasons I want to get married.
We have lived together for a few weeks and things are good when it's good, but I have already made her cry a few times due to her sensitive nature. She also doesn't work and has no money/income, although she does a lot of volunteer work and her parents have some money. | She wants to get married with me asap. I feel that it's very rushed and am not sure what to do. Part of me wants to get married now, part of me needs more time. If I say I need more time now, I feel that she will end the relationship. Very lost. |
t3_3l8a38 | tifu | TIFU by calling my customer an asshole | Context: I'm an intern. I'm doing a gap year with a software company that is based in the US and I am essentially just a lackey. However, what sold me on giving a year of my life was the promise that I would get to go live in Australia and work for one of their customers for a few months. They delivered, and here I am. I'm living in a corporate apartment not far from the office. Now, my boss, let's call him Ahkmed, has come to finish up a deal and work with some of the handover from our customer's IT department that just got laid off to us. Now our customer, we'll call him Mufasa, is best friends with Ahkmed. He loves to be the life of the party and is a lot of fun to be around. He's super offensive and loves to make fun of my Americanisms, but he is a great dude. He's also my company's biggest customer.
Fuck up: We went out to dinner with Mufasa and other customers, and we were eating dinner at a restaurant down the street from the office. We were discussing what my impression was of Australia a month in. I said that I was a bit lonely, except for the leech of a guy they had stay in my apartment the past week. I said "I think he's the only Aussie I've ever met who I didn't actually like." To which Mufasa replied, "Besides me" to which we all started laughing. Then, I said, "Yeah, you're right, you're an asshole." I'd had a few beers, so I didn't think it was a big deal. Ahkmed said "You really are adjusting well!" and other people thought it was funny, but I think I actually might have hurt Mufasa's feelings. He laughed it off and I apologized, and the night proceeded normally. I continued to talk to Mufasa the whole night with no feeling of wrong doing, but I feel like a total dick. I'll apologize to everyone when they come into the office. Update to come. | Am the lowest man on the totem poll and called my company's biggest customer an asshole. |
t3_2o7lxe | relationships | My (25f) boyfriend (29m) is feeling unsure about our relationship, what should I do? | So I met am amazing guy roughly 3 months ago and we really hit things off. He was super excited to be around me and make plans, and I made plans for us also. We have been spending a lot of time together, most weekends, and usually one or two days a week on a date.
So recently I noticed he was acting differently, and much more reserved. A couple days ago he told me he didn't feel emotionally connected to me like he thought he should be for us having been together for 3ish months. I said well that's not really very long for us to be connected, and he said yes, but that he just didn't feel right about things and was confused about what to do. We agreed that he could take some time to think about it, but I'm just not sure what to do.
While I would really things to continue, I have a feeling that is probly not gonna happen. But, I just don't know if there is anything I can do that might get the spark back? | is he just stuck in his head or should I cut my losses? |
t3_t7rqj | Parenting | How do I get my EIGHT YEAR OLD to sleep in her own bedroom?? | I am tearing my hair out right now!!!
Background: Having left my (now) ex husband when my daughter was 18 months old, I had to stay with my mother for a year until I got back on my feet.
A few moves later and we make a habit of just getting a one-bedroom apartment to save money (and we really didn't need the extra room at that time). So my daughter, from age 1.5-7.5 slept with me in my bed about 70% of the time.
Four months ago I finally rented a two-bedroom. She has her own bed, own pretty duvet, etc. For a night or two after having set up her room, she was excited to sleep in it.
Now she's 8. I've been trying without much success to have her sleep in her own room, but EVERY NIGHT is a fight; whining, consequences, etc. Ultimately we both eventually collapse at 2:30 AM, me in my room and she in hers.
I just can't deal with this every night! I'm the type of parent who has always put her foot down and up until she was 7, my daughter has been very amiable... but now EVERYTHING is a fight. I can deal with most of it during the day, but I'm so tempted every night to just give in.
I've tried letting her sleep in my room on the condition that she get no pillow and no cover. Doesn't work. I've talked to her about what we can do to make her room more comfortable, and nothing came of that. I even went as far as to lock my bedroom door, but she ended up having a breakdown and I didn't want her to wake the neighbors.
HELP ME!!!! What are your ideas to help me get this kid to sleep in HER OWN ROOM???? | How do I get my daughter, who is used to sleeping with me, to sleep in her own bed? It's a battle every night! |
t3_1cl9kf | AskReddit | Do redditors not realize that down vote counts are not accurate at all? | So, as an engineer, it's always been clear to me that up/down vote counts are manipulated by the Reddit algorithm to create an optimal "rating" or "balance" based upon how popular a post is, not the actual counts. There is a good reason you don't see many posts with 4,000+ upvotes. It's not because it's being downvoted into oblivion; it's just the engine making sure things don't get out of hand.
*But most importantly*, downvote counts are NOT accurate. I see these redditors asking "How could this ever get downvoted?" or "How could so many people downvote this?"
Ah, they aren't. It's just the engine compensating to show a relative number and obfuscating who is up/downvoting since you can see who upvotes a post.
So did people not realize this?
An example, the top post of this past week:
Do you really think that 18,800 redditors downvoted that and that only 54% of all redditors liked it? If you do, I'd love to hear why. | Downvote counts are not accurate. Stop paying attention to them. |
t3_on2rn | AskReddit | There is a brown recluse in my room right now, I'm freaking the fuck out. How can I protect myself and kill it? | 1:30 am now.
About 2 days ago, a brown recluse glided right down with its web string right next to me as I was sitting on my computer chair. I quickly grabbed an object near me as it was still going down before landing on my desk. This object just happens to be a lint roller which isn't that bad of a weapon I thought. As it comes down and lands, I just smash and roll the lint roller around the area where it supposedly lands for about a good 10 seconds while screaming. When I stop, I thought I got it, but there's nothing there, no carcass, no blood, no legs, nothing. I freak out for a bit, knowing that it got away but calm down later.
About 2 hours ago today, I saw something zooming right from behind my laptop to the edge of the desk. It had to be the same spider. By the time I jump up from my chair and look around for it, I see it already on the floor of my room. I hesitate for a bit to grab my cup still with water in it to trap it. I leave my room for a few seconds to grab another container to trap it only for it to be gone again.
So right now, its freaking 1:35am as I type this, I know it's watching me right now.. just somewhere in my room. Possibly under my carpet or printer (on the floor) or even my tables/stands. I plan on cleaning out some of my junk such as shredding old school papers, fold clothes, clean wires, move printer, etc. But I still can't shake this feeling that it won't be enough. I need to find it and kill it.
So Reddit, what should I do?
P.S. I omitted many other parts where I scream like a little girl and yell at the top of my lungs. | Found brown recluse in bedroom 2 days ago in computer area, saw it again today, now it's running around all over the floor and room. |
t3_2ootk1 | relationships | Me [25F] with my boyfriend [29 M/F] 5 yrs, not talking for 2 weeks. Is this over? | We fight in the last year due to the fact that he doesn't want to find a job and do smth with his life. He is very comfortable and lazy and enjoys living with his parents, which i disagres with, as there comes a moment when one should leave the nest.
He is well-trained but very low motivated, therefore his current job only brings him poket money because he doesnt want to get out of his comfort zone.
Professionally speaking i make a lot more than him and I easily accept professional challenges.
He declared that he's ok the way he is at the moment and that he has no future plans whatsoever. But he proposed to me so... what should I think?We're not compatible?
We stopped talking because i once told him that i would preffer a more active and energetic man beside me, not a mama's boy and that maybe we should end it if he doesnt intend to do smth with his life. He said 'ok, give me a month and if i dont do smth about it, we end it'. Then i started to babble smth about love and he said that he doesnt know why he loves me but he does. The argument was that i'm nice to spend time with and that he likes my smile. I know we all love different but i'm not sure he realli, i mean REALLY loves me. I do.
I also dont want to force him to do things that he doesnt want, just to hate me after..... | No contact, nothing in 2 weeks due to fighting over his demotivation of doing smth about his life. Told him i want a real man, not a mama's boy. I miss him a lot! Is this over? |
t3_3ylvoo | relationships | Me [23 M] with my Coworkers [~26+/-5 F] Want to ask them to movies, don't know if it would be weird. | A few months back I made plans to see the new Tarantino movie with a couple friends(both guys, totally platonic) They were on a trip up north and bailed on me to watch it then. I would strongly prefer to see it with someone else. I work with 5 people around my age. One I don't talk to much as they are quiet. Another(the one guy of the five) has seen the movie already. I don't know about they other three, but I was going to ask and see. I do like these three girls, and would gladly go on a date with them, and i'm sure they know that. I don't intend this to be a date really. I'm worried if I don't ask them as a group then when one says no they will think I'm just going down the line looking for a date. I'm not really sure what I should think of the situation. Right now I'm thinking I should pick one and ask them on a date and if that fails look elsewhere for someone to go with. I'm confused about the whole thing really and was just hoping to talk it out. I've already asked a few other friends, they have been busy or have already seen it. | Don't want to go to the movies alone. Afraid of being the creepy coworker with a crush on everyone. |
t3_m9bt7 | relationships | Should I or should I not? (Or the laments of a tired girlfriend) | Me and my boyfriend of 10 months don't appear to visibly have problems, but underneath the surface I feel like there's something wrong. Many people blame me for him being overly sensitive, and I'm tired of it. I'm not sure if I want to break up with because he is overly sensitive, or because I want people to stop saying this about me. I am leaning towards actually want to break up with him, but that in itself is an issue. Seeing as he is overly sensitive and I am his first girlfriend, I don't want him to be utterly devastated. My friends had no real advice so I turned to you, the people of reddit for help. | How to break up with someone who is overly sensitive? |
t3_51sf6x | relationships | My (20F) boyfriends roommate is cheating on his girlfriend of 3 months, do I tell? | Ages all the same. Gonna keep this short because there's not much info needed.
My boyfriend told me that he heard his roommate having sex with someone 4 times in the last 24 hours, and said roommate's girlfriend is on holiday so it is definitely not her. I've only met the roommate and his girlfriend 2/3 times. Boyfriend doesn't want to be involved and is happy with whatever decision I make. Do I tell her?
I don't wanna be involved in drama and make my boyfriends flatmates hate me, but also this girl is being cheated on and she deserves to know.
Also if I do tell, which I think I will, how do I do it? She's on holiday, do I ruin her holiday by messaging her? (we're not friend's on FB). Do I wait till she's back? What do I say in the message?
Thanks | Boyfriend's roommate is cheating on his girlfriend, she's on holiday, do I tell her and how and when? |
t3_1aiumz | relationships | Is it wrong for me [20M] to not be fully honest with my girlfriend of 3 years [18F] about why I'd want to break up? | I've been dating my girlfriend for about 3 years and have been having doubts about the relationship for the last few months, I feel like there is significant issues with our sex life which I have expressed to her before and I have concerns about where we are both going in life career wise. I still have strong feelings for my girlfriend but more in the sense of best friends rather than romantic love.
About a month ago, I met a [23F] who has been coming on quite strong to be and I feel I'd be better suited with them. If I come to end it with my girlfriend, is it wrong to not mention that there is a strong possibility of me going with another girl? Is it wrong to leave this out in an attempt to make the breakup less hard on her to preserve her feelings? Also she is just about to get started with an exam week next week and I was wondering if it's wrong to wait until after then to break up to not jeopardize her school work. | In a relationship of 3 years and feel like a breakup is in the works, wondering if it's wrong to not tell girlfriend about other girl and delay the breakup where it's more convenient for her in an attempt to make things easier on her. |
t3_2qkszu | relationships | I suspect that my [28M] girlfriend [24F] is cheating after looking on her phone. Should I break it up / cancel new years plans? | So I have been noticing the disconnect lately between me and my girlfriend. She is going to a different school that is further away. She has been making new friends and has been hanging out with this guy Andy and reassuring me it's no big deal.
I try to be a trusting person but I saw too many of the tell tale signs that she might be cheating such as not showing up to any of the family stuff for Xmas, not answering her phone, saying she is always busy. So I committed the despicable deed of checking her phone. And I see this text thread between Andy and my gf:
Andy: But ya... Dat pussy girl. Soooo fine!
Her: Thanks
Her: Not now but soon
Andy: Not a word.
Andy: And why you got to be such a bad ass!
Her: I woke up like dis. Hit me up later. Muah!
I have an image of the text on the phone but no image posts are allowed so I edited some the contextual stuff out.
It's hard to tell because it is not very clear and maybe out of context but to me this seems like they hooked up and are trying to keep it on the down low until after new years and then she is going to break it off with me for some b.s. reason
Should I just scrap our plans (I have paid about $600 for the hotel and tickets) and break up with her now? Do I come clean about checking her phone? | Checked my gf's phone and I think she is cheating. Is the evidence enough to cancel plans for new years? |
t3_1jp6ls | relationships | My(18f) boyfriend(18M) of 3 years broke things off right before we leave to college. | My boyfriend and I have been together since the 10 grade. Before we started dating, he had been my best friend since 7th. He broke up with me out of no where telling me that he "Does't feel the way he used to, he's still in love with me but not enough to pursue a long distance relationship" and he won't change his mind. I honestly right now, feel like something just killed me. I can't eat, I can't breathe at time. I'm afraid to sleep because in my dreams he's always there talking with me. I just came back from my summer semester in college, my FIRST semester in college, so he didn't even have the decency to break up with me in person. He broke up with me 2 days before I came back home.
We never argued in our relationship. We always talked things out the minute they happened. We loved all the same things. He was my best friend and my boyfriend and we would always talk about how we would get married and have children and have puppies. I'm honestly just in shock because all I can think about is why. I can't come to change my relationship status on Facebook because everyone will start asking me what happened especially since we were the couple everyone was "rooting" for. Telling my family has been hard enough because everyone will just start off their sentences with "Where's your other half?" Or "Where the giant bean stock?" Its also important to note that he was my first everything. I lost my virginity to this boy, and also my first kiss, my first "boyfriend".
Please Reddit, help me. I feel like I'm about to go through one of the darkest times in my life. | My boyfriend of 3 years (each others first) dumped me while i wasn't home right before we both embark into our college lives in different states with no warning. |
t3_2iojem | relationships | I never had a "best friend" and don't know how to get one. [22F] | Hello guys. I hope I am posting into the right subreddit.
So, i am a really shy person. I will never start a conversation with someone unless they talk to me first. I can't even maintain eye contact with strangers passing me on the street.
This is my first big problem. The other one is that I am moving quite often, I am currently doing an internship for half a year and after that I will move into a different city to continue studying for a year, after that I don't know where I will go.
Those two problems lead to the fact that I never really had friends - with a small exception. Just some people who are nice to talk to, nothing more. My boyfriend of 3yrs is my only good friend, but the relationship isn't going that well either.
Every week I am waking up crying from a dream I have since quite a long time. In school there were three girls, they were the only good friends I ever had. They stopped contact because I didn't show up to a party I was invited to, I never heard a single word from then since then. (it was 4 years ago). But every week I am dreaming that we still are friends and have fun. I then wake up cyring and am depressed the rest of the day.
To be honest, I don't know if I am dreaming it because i miss *them* or if I miss having friends.
I am sorry for this long post. But I really don't know what to do. I am normal looking and my hobbies aren't that strange either - pc games, drawing, cooking, movies. Why is it that I can't make friends? What should I do to gain a best friend? This whole thing is a mystery for me and it is making me depressive.
Please help :( | never had a best friend. recurring dream of three friends I once had, waking up crying every time. |
t3_2t6ml7 | relationships | I [24M] want to take my control in my relationship with my wife [24F]. I want to be more spontaneous and fun but I don't know how my wife will respond. | We got married a couple months ago after dating for 8 years. She's my best friend and I love doing anything with her. She has always driven our relationship and what we do. I think she is getting tired of planning our weekends (we both work a lot during the week, so we just lay low then).
She is also used to doing the same stuff and not the most comfortable trying new things. I want to contribute more by planning more. The problem is I haven't planned a single date in all that time. We live in a small town that is 30 minutes away from any city. How can I do something a little different, fun, and spontaneous to try and get her out of her comfort zone a little bit? | Wife has planned all dates in past. Used to comfort zone. I want to change it up a bit. |
t3_3m3ow2 | relationships | Me [24 F] with my bf [21 M] 9 months. How do I make him listen to me? | I'll begin at the begining.
Me and my boyfriend met on an internet game, and we hit it off right away. After talking for a few months online and a lot of Skype Calls, we met up. We were living a 4 hours drive away, so couldn't see each other that often. He was a student, and I was out of work due to health problems. He knew about these before we met.
Anyways, a month later we started dating, we would Skype every night and got on like a house on fire.
I went to his once a month for 6 months. Then we decided we would move to a town between us to live together so we could see each other more often.
To begin with it was great, he would help around the house, the sex was great, then everything stopped.
All he does all day is play on his | How do I talk to him to get him to listen to me? How do I aproach the sex problem? What would you do in my situation? |
t3_1qfoah | relationships | I'm [23F] stuck after break up with boyfriend [33M] | My boyfriend and I dated for 2.5 years, and we moved in together at the beginning of this year. We had a nice house, and a puppy and I got comfortable. I work in a nursing home and I'm a senior in college, and both of those stress me out a lot, especially work. I'm surrounded by dying people all day and lazy coworkers who don't give a shit about the residents. It really brings me down. I am a lot less happy than I was before I started working there, but I need this job to get a job when I'm done with college in a few months. He broke up with me because I didn't appreciate him enough and I was snippy, I was basically just a crappy girlfriend. It's been 3 months now, and I can't really get over it. But I don't want to. I'm not depressed, I've been depressed before. I'm just sad but I don't want to go back to normal. I wanted to marry him and he broke up with me because I was a dickhead. I really wish he would have given me another chance after talking to me about this, because it made me more aware of the problem. I want to change and get better, and admittedly part of that is because of him, but it's also because I need to start looking at jobs, and being happy and perky and that's tough to do at the moment, well tough to be sincere about it. I just feel really bad but I don't want to be happy aside from getting a job. I kind of like being miserable because I was a crappy girlfriend to a wonderful man. I honestly wish I never met him because I know I'm always gonna be in love with him and it sucks. Even if I get happy I'm not gonna get over him. We were good together, but I just didn't appreciate it and it's probably done for good now. | had a good boyfriend but my poor stress management pushed him away, and I don't want to get over it but I need to so I can get a job and feed my puppy. |
t3_1pu1ig | relationships | I (16M) messed up, but I want to fix things and I don't know if she (16F) will give me a chance | Four months ago I met the love of my life. I don't care how cliche that sounds, but my relationship with her is everything to me right now.
I don't know where to begin here. My (I guess ex) girlfriend and I broke up a little over a week ago, but it was nothing unexpected. We constantly argued in the time before the split. The problem was never her though, it was me, and I'm just now beginning to realize that. It's to a point, though, where trying to bring this stuff up with her only ends in frustration and a lesser chance of us getting back together.
I truly believe I've gotten myself over those problems, but I have no idea how to prove that to her. I feel like I pushed her over the edge and she isn't interested in the idea of "us" anymore, even though she has said she still loves me. I just don't know how to cope with the thought that I ruined everything, on my own, and have no one to blame but myself. I don't even know why I'm posting here, or what I'm asking for, but I have no one else to talk to. | I think I ruined any chance of getting my relationship back, and I don't know what to do. |
t3_35hnp6 | relationships | My girlfriend [22/F] of 4 years told me she is no longer attracted to me [24/M] anymore | Hello, this is my first post and since I am hopeless and consider reddit to be full of nice people I would like to ask you for help.
I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years and just recently she told me she was no longer attracted to me - mentally or physically. We live together for 3 years.
To me she is a goddess. I buy her flowers, I hug her and kiss her everyday. I help her with everything. Well, everything one should do when he/she is in love. I do not have to push myself to do it. It just feels right to give her the best of me. We never really fought too much.
She is really smart, nice, inspiring...and I totally love her.
Yesterday she told me that she no longer feels anything towards me. She said she felt really sorry about it, but it was going on like this for a quite long time and she could not take it and had to tell me about it. She is a reasonable person and told me she would like to find a solution, but it is hard since she no longer feels any "spark" when it comes to us. She feels like we are just best friends. We laugh together at the same things and we enjoy many things together. We understand each other, but there no longer is any spark, as she mentioned it. I can feel that we miss something, but do not know what. I think I am doing my best and giving her the best I can.
I feel really upset about it, as I am aware of the situation. I understand it can mean an end to our relationship. I cried for the fist time since my grandma died and it felt really strange. I have realized, that without my girlfriend there would be a huge hole in me. I do not know what to do. It seems stupid to try even harder and impress her with something. Or to ignore her.
Is it because of me? Am I just boring or something like that? What can be the cause of this?
Please give me any advice what to do as I am lost. | I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years and just recently she told me she is no longer attracted to me - mentally or physically. |
t3_1lh1u0 | dogs | Please help, I just adopted a dog and now I'm freaking out. Worried if I can do this. | Its a tale as old as time, yesterday we went to a shelter "just to look" and fell in love. My boyfriend and I both work a lot, so we needed a medium energy dog that could be ok with a dogwalker or daycare during the day. Even though it was a no-kill shelter, they sort of pressured us, saying he was likely to get adopted right away since he's so great. We met him and he was cool as a cucumber, a little bigger than we wanted at 50lbs, but super chill. Then within 20 minutes we were walking out with him and he was going nuts, had obviously never been on a leash before, had TONS of energy- very different than what we thought we were getting into (the shelter doesn't do walk-meetings for some reason). I instantly had a near panic attack- this was way over our heads, and I'm terrified. Flash forward to this morning. He's for the most part great, he's just going to need a lot more training and energy and time than I think we prepared ourselves for. One minute we think we should bring him back-he would get adopted again in a heartbeat. The next we're planning out ways to make it work. We've put ourselves in a terrible position and I can't figure out what to do. Please tell me other owners- did you go through anything like this? Whether you returned the dog or kept it, I would love to know. Thank you | Adopted a dog and may have bit off more than we chew- should we cut our losses or keep him and figure it out? |
t3_3w34fg | relationships | Need advise on my (24, m) relationship. | I've (24,M) been dating my fiance (25,F) for almost 2 years. We've had a few arguments over the past few weeks, but nothing too big. Mostly financial or usual relationship fights.
Lately she's been very hostile towards me saying things like "I'd do anything to make you go away and not come back" or just "I hate you". Whenever I try talking to her she says she's pushing everyone away, but I'm the stubborn one who wont go away. Around this time last year she lost her grandfather (who she was very close to).
I have a 3 year old son, who loves her, and for the past two years we've considered ourselves a little family.
She has Addison's Disease and its gotten so bad that she's had to go to a doctor recently, but I'm not too familiar with the disease to know if its causing her hostility.
Please, guys. I love this community, and I know your advise is usually incredible. Help me know what to do. | Fiance (F) has recently gotten very hostile towards me and claims she's pushing everyone away to be alone. Not sure if holiday depression or complications from a disease she has. |
t3_1upmm9 | running | Running with no race plans, what do you do? | Last year, my training and mileage were based off the Hanson Marathon Method for the Chicago Marathon, so I didn't have to really think of what to do.
This year, I'm trying to work on some speed and staying injury free and maintain some good miles. No big races planned for first half of year, and I'm expecting the mrs to bring on our 2nd offspring in the summer, so I'm not doing any marathons in the 2nd half of the year.
Which leaves me wondering, how should I structure my training.
I'm currently rebuilding my base back to the 60mpw-ish range and trying to keep the format of 1 one long, one speed work out day, one pace day, and 3 easy days (so basically, marathon training with no marathon). Would you guys suggest to run though an 18 week program, take it easy for a week, then hop back into it? Or are there better ideas if I'm not planning on burning out my legs with a 26.2. | No Marathons this year, but want to train hard and get faster for 2015, what are some suggestions? |
t3_2tcllb | relationships | Male opinions needed. I [26F] like a guy [24M] and want to know how to keep him interested | My friend [24M] and I [26F] like each other, but I've had a hard time getting him to stick to plans. We used to talk all day, everyday and lately the texting has slowed down a LOT. I think it was because he felt he was putting in most of the effort (texting me first, etc).
Lately I've been putting in most of the effort to talk to him and stuff. I just want to know if there is a way to get him re-interested in talking again, or if there are some things I could do that would impress him more/make him feel more cared about. | I like a guy and I know he likes me (he told me), but lately we talk less and less. He also isn't very good at sticking to plans. Does anyone have advice on how to make him feel more into me again? (impress him/make him feel like I care). I'm worried I came off careless. |
t3_ec9e6 | AskReddit | Reddit, I'm extremely tired and at work. The combo leaves me with this question. | What should I do? Anything. I'll do it. 23,000 times.
But seriously. I work in a billing department and I don't think people understand me. Not because I have an accent or anything. They just don't understand. I'm not gonna say which company but I will say this: It's a **MAJOR** one. We only work with one state and it's not a very... educated one. I won't say which because I know not ALL people from this state are like that. But usually the people I deal with don't know what the tits is going on. It could be the products and services we sell just attract that demographic. Anyways, what are some of the telecommunications stories you have? Whether you be the customer or the agent, what happened? | I'm a bored billing agent for a major company and I get extremely strange calls. What calls have you received/made that made you say WTF? |
t3_3itgmv | Advice | [Personal] I'm fed up of friends that won't commit. | Hi,
Specific town names etc removed to avoid any risk of someone this concerns reading this.
So, I used to live in a city on the south cost of the UK. I grew up there, school, college and 3 years of working in an office there. I wasn't a lonely person, I had a large group of friends from school/college/work etc.
In 2014, I decided I wanted to go back and study in University and the best offer I got was about 150km away. I accepted it, and I'm now just about to enter my second year. Things are good here, good group of friends etc.
Now, the issue is that my friends back where I used to live - I come back often to see family and try to see them when I could. Unfortunately, family passed away now, so my only reason to go back is to see my old friends. However, whenever I plan to come down, once I've arrived they make excuses and won't even meet up for a coffee.
I'm a student, and I don't exactly have a lot of money. It isn't cheap (almost two weeks of my food budget) to come that far, and it's depressing that I turn up for everyone to let me down.
So, I'd like some advice - what would you recommend? Should I confront them and ask them why they won't take even half hour out to see me? Or should I accept the hints being given, and that I was more a friend of circumstance? | moved from city a to city b, whenever I return to city a old friends never available to see me. Unsure if bs or not. |
t3_3t6pnj | relationships | Me [19 M] and my gf [17 F] have been together 1,5 months now. She is lesbian. | Okay so I love my girlfriend. I care about her, she is hot and awesome, but she is bi-sexual. There would not be problem, but she is more sexually interested about women, and more romantically interested about guys. I always knew that she were bi-sexual, but I didnt knew she still prefers girls. I thought it was other way around. How I should cope with this?
So thing is, my girlfriend don't want sex as much as I do, and we talked about that. She said that recently she has been more interested about girls(in sexual way, not romantically) and this frustrates me. I want a lot of sex, I want it to be enjoyable for my GF. I'm also scared that eventually she does'nt find me attractive anymore. She said that "I dont think it could happen" but I'ts still possible, she knows that too. What should I do? Let it be, and hope that she still wants dick? | Girlfriend prefers girls over guys in sexual way. I'm not a girl. |
t3_2yfiw4 | relationships | I'm a 22F with a boyfriend of a similar age. Should I forgive or dump if he ignores me? | So my boyfriend told me to come over to hang out with his friend. I ended up being ignored throughout most of this evening. I felt really hurt by it and even though they kept asking me if I was bored, I didn't want to be rude in front of his guest so I said I was fine and made a comment about what they were talking about. Still, I feel I was treated disrespectfully on my boyfriend's part. I don't mind him having his bro time on his own. I understand wanting to spend time with your long time friends. However, this incident really had me thinking if I was the one being needy, and I don't think I am because I let him hang out and do as he pleases without complaint. I am the type that usually let's people walk all over me so for once I want to not be that person. I know also very well that you can't change a person, so I don't know even if I talk to him about it he would not do it again. | ! I guess my question is should I dump him or try to talk it through although he might do it (ignore me in front of his friend) again? |
t3_4q0uei | personalfinance | Tax witholding question for internship | I have a question about tax whitholdings. Basically, I started my paid internship at the beginning of the summer (my only W-2 job for the year) and I'm having taxes withheld as if I'm making over $60k, but obviously I won't be making that much because I'm only here for the summer. I went to the IRS's website and used the [tax withholding calculator] to determine what my allowances should be (without factoring any tax deductions) and applied tried to apply it before the first check but it didn't take effect until after the first check (the "number of allowances" was around 10). According to the calculator, the first check's tax withholding (which included a taxable stipend for various expenses) apparently covered my tax burden for the entire year. So what should I do at this point? I don't really want a sizable tax return, I'm a student and I kind of need my money now. Should I put in a huge number for the allowances? Should I check the box that says I'm tax exempt? I'm really not sure what to do here because if this keeps up, I'm going to have >$1000 tax return and I really would rather have that money now. | I'm being taxed like I'm making >$60k but I'm not. |
t3_tizvp | AskReddit | Is my sister in danger from all this medication? | I'll try to explain as concisely as possible. My sister age 14, is diagnosed with asperger's. My mother has always been a little over confident in drugs, she has had my two younger brothers on medication and me as well. The older of my younger brothers, age 24 and myself, 28, no longer take medication and feel we were misdiagnosed and that our mother is a "solve it with a pill" kinda person. I want to know if reddit thinks my sister could be in danger from all the medicine she is taking. See the list of medications and doses below, and thank you for taking the time to read this.
1.Perphenazine 4 mg Dr. A
2.BusPIRone 5mg Dr. A
3.BusPIRone 10 mg Dr. A
4.Lorazepam 1mg Dr. B
5.Desmpressin 0.2 mg (DDAVP) Dr. B
6.Metformin 500 mg Dr. B
7.ProAir HFA (albuterol sulfate) Dr. C
8.EVENING PRIMROSE OIL 500MG (HERBAL) Dr. Mom | My mom might be crazy with how many drugs she is giving my sister who is diagnosed with Asperger's, an autism spectrum disorder. Her case is mild she functions quite normally. |
t3_24s5kh | relationships | Am [23/m] I asking too much from my girlfriend [22/f]? Advice appreciated. | Our relationship has been going for a little over 9 months. Before we started dating I was in the military and now I'm a civilian going to college. Before I started school in January I had a full-time job. Now that I'm in school I'm working about 3 days per week. The amount of hours I get workd fine for me, it gives me time to work on school work and I'm not hurting for money because I have savings and I receive a housing allowance because of my military service using the GI Bill.
She has no problem with how much I work. But its her family that has a huge problem with it. They feel I should work full time and go to school full time. But Im not doing that. There's no reason to.
Because I don't work enough in their eyes I'm a terrible person and they even go as far as blaming me for the problems their daughter is having. She forgot to do something? My faults. She doesn't know what she wants to do after she finishes college? My fault. Etc. Then they have the nerve to criticize every single thing I do or say. I get no respect from them.
I told her unless she tells them that I want to feel respected and welcomed into their home, I will not be going to her house. She thinks its my responsibility to talk to them about it. Even though if she was in my situation she would expect me to talk to my parents about the problem.
Who should it be that talks to her parents? Am I wrong for taking a stand and not going there if I feel that I'm disrespected? Am I being reasonable in being upset about how they treat me? Much advice is appreciated. Thank you. | girlfriends parents disrespect me. I asked her to talk to them about how I feel. She feels I should talk to them. Help? |
t3_17wjm0 | legaladvice | Scum Bag Gym. | I canceled my membership in December, pay the early termination fee, sign papers saying our contract is terminated and I no longer owe them money. FWIW, I paid the termination fee with my debit card, so it's linked to my bank account.
I read the entire contract because I wanted to make sure they won't charge me again. Not only did I talk with the manager on duty, I looked online as well and it states that once you terminate they don't charge anything else. The termination contract is dated and signed but two people (me + manager).
I have two checking accounts: one for bills that I don't touch, one for money I can spend. My bank has text notifications that notify me when my "bills" account is used, so if I don't get the text I can go online and pay whatever bill is due. I get a text yesterday saying that two payments came out, and they were both from the gym: a month's membership, and yearly dues. It's over $300. Not to mention, yearly dues are owed in November and it's a one-time charge that I paid. This is clearly stated in the sign up contract I signed.
I've been unemployed for four months and right now I'm only working part time. I terminated my contract because I can't afford it. This completely fucked my budget up. Now I don't have enough to pay my car payment and I need to ask a few friends if the can spot be a couple hundred or be late on a payment until fuck knows when.
Should I talk to a lawyer? I have a copy of my start up contract, I have a copy of the contract they have when I terminated my membership. I haven't thrown any shit away because I was scared something like this would happen.
Thanks for any advice!! | Signed a termination contract with a gym, made TRIPLE SURE they would not charge me more after terminating, was charged for two things, should I lawyer up? |
t3_3cuyfx | relationships | Me [F] with my boyfriend [21M], he's upset because I didn't respond to his texts (or something)? | I have the biggest headache right now.
I told my boyfriend I was horny and was going to browse some sexy videos (i.e., porn). I didn't touch myself but I ended up hornier and wanted to wait for my boyfriend who was going to come pick me up soon. I told him that I was waiting for him, but he told me he wasn't horny. I was disappointed but that's ok, I can get myself off; if he isn't in the mood I'm not going to force him to be.
But he then asked for me to wait when I told him I can just get myself off. I already had a built up sexual desire, but I said sure I can wait.
He then said my response was forced because it went from wanting to wait to saying I'll get myself off to saying sure I'll wait (when he requested). Then he told me that he pulled over multiple times while driving home to see if he is going to pick me up on the way. I told him if he was going to pull over multiple times, why didn't he just call me and he said that he thought it was awkward because I might have been touching myself.
Did I do something wrong?? | Boyfriend upset... about something |
t3_1z1uxf | relationship_advice | [29/m] Wife [31/f] and I struggling over whether to have kids | Hi Reddit - posting on a throwaway because too many family/friends on Reddit know my account.
My wife and I have been dating over 10 years, and married for one. We get along great on a day-to-day basis and do everything together.
We've always put off the topic of having kids, but now that we're getting older we're hitting the point where we need to make a decision. I'm not 100% sure yet, but leaning fairly strongly towards "I want kids" (at least in the next few years). My wife, on the other hand, is leaning towards "I don't want kids" (I think fairly strongly). Now that we've really started thinking about this, it's become a pretty big issue - she's very worried that I'd give up kids for her and end up resenting her in the future. She's also said that she doesn't think it's fair to me if I truly want kids and don't get any because she doesn't want them (and she wouldn't want to have them just because I want them). There's sort of a dark cloud over our otherwise happy relationship and we're both worried about it.
We're stuck here and not certain what to do... and we don't really have anyone in our lives we can turn to for help without dealing with a ton of embarrassment. Obviously this is something we should have talked about years ago... but it's hard/impossible to even consider giving up on a great relationship because you may or may not disagree on a big topic that seems so far away.
Any advice reddit? Anyone been through similar circumstances? | I want kids, wife doesn't want kids, what do we do?!? |
t3_2fx6k8 | relationships | I 26f don't know what's wrong with me and I just got referred to another doctor and can't get an appointment for another 2 weeks. | Hi all. Title pretty much says it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I went to my doctor and described everything. I cry sometimes for no reason, I can't focus on anything. My work life is starting to suffer because I can't complete projects. If I get upset emotionally (not crying) I throw up. This was something new...it's never happened to me until last week. I was referred to a psychiatrist but I can't get an appointment for another two weeks. They didn't feel comfortable prescribing me anything. Now I'm going to have to suffer through another two weeks of these feelings. I've been at work since 8:30 this morning (it's almost 1pm here) and I've gotten nothing done.
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I mindlessly stare at my screen. I've cried twice for no apparent reason and I just want to go home. I don't want to say I have depression because maybe I do but I don't want to self-diagnose. I still want to go to work, I want to see my friends, I want to go bike riding. I like my co-workers. I just can't seem to shake all these negative feelings and concentrate on work. Everything distracts me and it's continuously getting worse.
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Has anyone gone through this and what coping suggestions do you have? | I feel like my life is a mess and I can't see a doctor for another two weeks. |
t3_1ank18 | dating_advice | I [F19] am getting confused with signs and shutdowns by a coworker [M22]. | I can't be too specific because he reddits, but I need some hindsight.
Obviously I'm here because I like someone, and am confused on how to interpret things.
So there's a guy, we'll call him Rafael (for fun). Rafael and I met a few months ago at work and have been talking more as time goes on. There are some times where I think he's flirting, but other times he completely shuts the idea of dating anyone down.
He'll comment on my "beautiful eyes," and talk about how quirky, fun, awesome, etc. I am, telling me to imagine if he's a tease or not, then admitting it and gathers I'm the same way, stuff like that. There are other things, but like I said I can't get too specific.
Other times, Rafael will go on about how dating doesn't work for him because he's just never into it, they don't click, he's too busy, whatever his reasoning.
Another problem is our company does not allow employees to date, no matter where they're working (shift manager, store owner, regular worker, janitorial). We're not even supposed to be friends outside of work (so nobody will date) so I know he's okay with breaking the rules.
I feel like I'm very obvious with my flirting, but he often says how he never knows when a girl is flirting with him and wouldn't want to know if anyone liked him right now because he'd rather figure it out.
I just do not know how to interpret his flirtatious attitude then constant shut downs. What do, Reddit? | Getting mixed signals from Rafael the bullfighter. How do I interpret this? |
t3_11ix0x | tifu | TIFU by laughing at a handicapped person. | My girlfriend, her sister, the sister's boyfriend and I went to [Spooky World] the other night.
We waited in line forever to get into a clown-themed Haunted House(more like a tent) called "Freakshow 3D". As we walked through, there were all sorts of people hiding with facepaint and costumes and a bunch of freaky shit. It wasn't scary, and all jumps were the cheap "HA! STARTLED YOU BY SCREAMING IN YOUR FACE FROM OUT OF NOWHERE!"
But there was one of the clowns in there, we got into a separate room and he was driving around in a electric wheelchair. I found it funny as hell. And I started laughing. Like hysterically. In his face. Thinking "Man, this haunted house has all sorts of weird clowns and shit."
And once I emerged (This word looks too much like Berks language), I realized that more-than-likely, he was hired out of the equal opportunity laws.
Therefore, and | I laughed at a handicapped person because he was handicapped. |
t3_2di87y | relationships | My [24 F] fiance [25 M] 2 yrs calls me a c***, what can I do? | My fiance often calls me a cunt when we have an argument (which recently has been quite often as we've been having some problems). It doesn't necessarily have to be a big argument, the degree of what's wrong doesn't matter to him.
For example, this morning we were both happy but then he was running late and was rude with me so I told him not to take his mood out on me and then he just flat out called me a cunt, which I think was unwarranted.
Bearing in mind, that only 12hrs prior to this I approached him to explain how I felt about it and told him to not call me that anymore, and that I wouldn't tolerate it. I said to think about what kind of girl he wants to be with for the rest of his life, but that he needs to accept how I feel about it. I believe it is affecting our relationship and I am concerned when we have kids if he calls me it in front of them, they too won't respect me.
I will admit that for all the other times I've probably seemed naggy or emotional when I've asked him not to do it, but I was calm and civil, but clear about my point this time.
For me, I find that word offensive and disrespectful, and only really warranted in bad situations that would cause great anger, such as cheating, or if you truly didn't care for the person.
I'm not sure what to do, because now he's saying to me "if you don't like me, leave me", but I love him and I don't really think that him calling me a cunt is a personality characteristic, it's just a matter of respect. | fiance calls me cunt and is asking me to leave him if I don't like it |
t3_35u4iv | relationships | Me [25F] with my BF [26M] of a year. I'm dealing with shadows from a past relationship and it's hurting my bf. | I've been in a relationship for one year. The one before this was long and emotionally toxic. When I met my current bf I hadn't fully gotten over my ex. He was fully aware of this and insisted he still wanted to go ahead with the relationship. I laid out what I was still struggling with and he didn't care.
Since then I've been healing though due to the length of the last relationship and damage I took (sort of speak), I still struggle here and there. I talk about it here and there with my current bf (maybe once a month or something), and although it's been getting better it hurts my bf whenever I talk about it (understandably).
Now I don't really 'rant'. Sometimes he will see I'm sad and if he asks I'll mention if it has something to do with my previous relationship but nothing more. It never leads to a fight or anything. But I know he's hurt. I have no intention of getting back with ex, I don't even talk to him or have any social media with him. I've been told by professionals I may be struggling with Stockholm syndrome-like feelings that a lot of abusive women develop (nothing that requires extensive therapy but I don't know how else to describe it). I'm getting better but I know talking about my ex makes my bf insecure, even if I just harbour resentment for my ex.
Most people will say I'm not ready for a relationship. I agree to a certain degree. But my BF doesn't want to break up. I'm riddled with guilt. Not sure if what I'm doing is right or am I going to destroy the one good thing that's happened to me in so long. I'm very grateful for my bf for putting himself out there and being there for me while I'm recovering. I'm very conflicted. | Not entirely over ex because of past abuse but bf insists on maintaining relationship. Is it right? How do I make it easier for him? |
t3_2yudld | relationships | I (25M)fell in love with my best friend (24F) and I'm afraid I will lose her if I tell her. | She is the Greatest Person I have ever met in my entire Life and this is what breaks my Heart. She is in a serious Relationship with a good Friend of mine so I can't tell her and because Iam afraid how she reacts but if I don't tell her I'm not sure how long I can keep this up. Everytime she hugs me or our hands touch my damn heart flips and I can't tell her.
What am I supposed to do here ?
I never thought I would ever end up in this kind of Situation. Reddit please this one time I really really need your help. I need an Opinion that tells me the cold truth even if I don't like it because I'm afraid I can't think clearly because of her.
I never thought I'll love someone again after I broke up with my first Girlfriend. Then it happens and of course it is the One Girl that I can't reach.
I hate myself so much right now. Iam very desperate for advice here.. | fell in love with best friend shes in a relationship with a good friend and can't tell her my feelings because I'm afraid to lose her. |
t3_1bj38c | relationships | [23m] and [23F], perfect relationship but just having a pregnancy scare and I don't know what to do. | My new girlfriend and I have been dating for close to 4 months now, and I love her to death. She is everything I could ever dream about, and unlike a previous relationship that I was hesitant about, I believe this is the girl I am going to marry.
We started having sex after waiting the first two months and have only had unprotected sex directly after she had her period. Following that everything has been protected. She missed her last period and has recently been feeling nauseous and depressed/exhausted. I have a big fear that she is pregnant and I don't know what to do.
I know that if she is, we will be keeping the child, and that my family will probably be incredibly upset, however that isn't the issue. I know that I will love the child and that we will be okay that way. The issue is that I make only $30k a year in a job that requires long hours and I am afraid I will not be able to provide for my family in the way that I believe they need. My girlfriend lives about 500 miles away and is trying to move back to be closer to me and away from a job she hates.
My questions are: 1. Can I realistically support my family in the first few years off of 30k? 2. Could she potentially be just anxious/stressed which is causing her to miss her period and feel nauseous? (I can't recall any instance that could have gotten her pregnant... Like none)
Any help would be appreciated. | Girlfriend could be pregnant, and not sure what to do financially. |
t3_g8bm8 | AskReddit | Need help picking a baby shower present for someone who may hate me. | About a year ago, I made an accusation about my cousin (true or not is irrelevant) that created a huge problem in my family. Basically my side of the family hasn't spoken to her side of the family for about a year. Now my cousin is having a baby and is having a shower pretty soon that I can't attend because of work. Our families have pretty much made up except for me because of one reason or another so they are attending. I would like to send a gift with a sentimental card apologizing and such but I don't know what to send her. Should I get her a gift she has registered for? Or should I go for something nice that would show my interest in fixing our relationship? | Haven't spoken to my cousin in over a year because of a fight. Don't know what to get her for a baby shower. |
t3_49k49w | relationships | Me [17 M] don't know how to get into a relationship with my[17 F] "friend" who I'm dating for 3 months | I'm dating her for almost 3 months and we know each other for 5 months. She always told me how much she liked me and that I'm the only one who she can think of having a relationship with. We date almost every 2-3 days.
But yesterday she told me that she doesn't know if she can be in a relationship with me. According to her she isn't a relationship guy and doesn't want to hurt me. I asked her why she think so and she told me that she lied to me about some things.
When we met she told me she only had 2-3 partners and doesn't take drugs any more. So yesterday she said that she take drugs in the time we were dating and lied to me about it. Also that she had much more one night stands and described herself as a slut. She says that I don't want to be with a girl like her.
But she promised that she never cheated on me within this three months. And I don't care about her past which I already have told her.
She says that she doesn't expect an answer like that and how much she appreciates it. She also said that she don't know if she wants a relationship yet. Because I'm that guy who she could really think of a relationship with. I told her that she have all time she needs.
Now I don't know how to go on. Was it right to forgive her that she lied to me? Another problem is we can't see each other for the next week and sometimes I think she writes a bit cold. But maybe I only overreact. I just don't know what to do and hoping for some advices here. Thank you! | Girl told me she doesn't know if she wants a relationship. I don't know how to handle the situation |
t3_3e67k5 | tifu | TIFU by singing to my gum | Not really sure if this qualifies as a fuck but, but this morning I was looking for my pack of gum and I couldn't find it anywhere. So I asked my sister if she has seen it and she said she hasn't. I replied: "it was right here *pointing at the table*. Now it's gone."
I then proceeded to absentmindedly sing "Now you're gone. I realize my love for you was strong, and I miss you here, now you're gone." You know, Basshunter's Now You're Gone.
I got some weird looks from my sister followed by "I can't believe you're singing that for your gum." | TIFU by absentmindedly professing my love for my gum. I'm a gumophile. |
t3_z83z7 | relationship_advice | [19/M] I don't want to mess this up... | Okay, so here in college I met this absolutely gorgeous girl through my roommate. We are both into each other, and this could quite possibly lead to a relationship, but here is the problem....
Her and her family are VERY religious. That is why I like her so much, she is not promiscuous in any way, and I trust her completely. My family is also highly religious. However, there have been periods where I had "hooked up" with a few past girls.... I have always been religious, but there had always been tangents where my hormones take over.
I really, really like this girl, and I want her to make me the better person in the end, but what do I do? I'm so afraid that my past behavior will come back to haunt me.
Also, I have this unrational fear that my someone from a previous relationship will tell her about the stuff we did in that relationship. | new religious girl I like a ton, worried past will come back to haunt me |
t3_44tzsl | Advice | Shit, idk what to do with my friend | Alright so this is gonna be kinda long. So i have this friend and she has a brother and i had a crush on him for about a year. I knew him and had a crush on him before i met his sister(she is a year younger than me) and last year i tried to ask him out but he politely declined, but we still remained friends anyways and i acted like it never happened, at the time.
My best friend became friends with his sister and eventually i started hanging out with her too. She ended up being really cool so i slowly became closer to her as friends. Then for a few months things went on as usual with her brother and i even hung out at his house with both of them as i started becoming better friends with his sister. Then in these last few months he started ignoring me (we used to text everyweek, even after he told me no). Now i am really good friends with his sister(we even went to an amusement park together a few weeks ago), but now she is inviting me on a weekend trip with her family and i know her brother is gonna go and idk what to do. Btw he started ignoring me first and i havent talked to him in a month even though we go to the same school, he just avoids me on purpose. He is also socially awkward, but we used to be friends so idk what happened. | Former crush is best friends brother, now he ignoring me and their family is inviting me on a sleepover trip with them, idk what to do |
t3_22wjdk | relationships | Do you need to know the reason why your lover breaks up with you? [19M] | My girlfriend broke up with me a 6 months ago. She was my first and I haven't seen anyone else since then. I'm a dorky geek. It still hurts a lot.
My girlfriend broke up with me saying she had this illness, fibromylagia. It was really weird. But we were so happy together and I don't know what happened. It just ended just like that. She told me to let her go. She blocked me.
She told me to leave her alone. That hurt a lot. She said I did nothing wrong. What went wrong? I just wish I knew what happened.
My question is, do you need to know what happened? Do you need to know in order to get closure? I'm guessing no, but does it help? I wish she broke up with me because I was too needy or something. Not because of an illness. Did she lie? Questions like that I think about. It hurts so much sometimes. I'm just so damn curious about what the fuck went wrong, you know? I want to know what happened. I feel like I need to know. I was so happy with her, how could this have happened?
But then like, just move on. I know. That's what you are supposed to do. I will eventually, find another gal and be happy again I guess. But I feel like I will forever wonder about this woman. Like, what exactly happened. I feel like snooping, but that is fucked up. That's called stalking, and gentleman don't do that shit.
I actually went around asking her friends on facebook, and she contacted me telling me to stop. And told me she wished me well but to leave her alone. Why? I thought she loved me, what went wrong? What did I do wrong? She won't say, and I hate thinking because she is sick. I just want to know and get closure so badly.
But I'm guessing...that is just how life works sometimes? Right? | Girlfriend broke up with me telling me she was sick and I don't know whether she is lying or not, and won't give me the details. |
t3_2y47ju | relationships | My [22 M] girlfriend [20 F] of 6 months frequently breaks down and cries during sex | So...yeah, I'm not really sure how to approach this. We started seeing each other back in September, and I've been falling for her ever since. The sex is amazing, but about 1 out of every 4 times this happens. She'll be really into whatever we're doing, and then all of a sudden just say "stop" and collapse. She'll just curl up and start crying, and there's nothing I can do to comfort her. The only thing she has told me is that she was abused when she was in foster care. I've told her she can talk to me about anything, and I know she feels guilty whenever it happens, even though all I care about is that she's okay.
She's my first so I honestly have no idea how to deal with this situation. Hell, for all I know it might even be normal. But I just want to help her. Both she and her older brother were sexually abused, but she hasn't told me much about it and I obviously don't want to probe her about something like that. Anyway, idk, I would just appreciate any help, thanks :) | Girlfriend was sexually abused as a child, and now frequently breaks down and cries during sex. |
t3_3yunux | relationships | I [16M] have had some... feelings for a friend [16F] ever since I met her, and I need some help | Hey Reddit, I could use... assistance.
This friend, henceforth known as C, I have known for years. By this I mean most of my life. We both went to the same infants, primary, and highschool (UK education system). I've always *liked* her, as she was the only person nice to me early on in life. To be fair, I was kind of a jerk back then, but I digress. She helped me through a lot.
Over time, I liked her more and more, but she... it's on and off. Every six months or so we'd fluctuate between being friends or being acquaintances, thanks to *my* social anxiety. Currently, we are friends.
Now, the whole school knows that I like her. That is no debate. Everyone, including C herself, knows this. I've had my fair share of crushes over the years, but what I feel for her is... different. I've talked to others about this, and they have told me that what I'm feeling is love. That *terrifies* me.
I would do the whole confession of love thing, but A) I'm not even sure it *is* love, but it's surely stronger than I've felt for anyone else, B) I'm totally incapable in terms of self-confidence, and I'd probably choke, C) I fear that if it goes tits-up, it would ruin my life. We see eachother on a daily basis, and word would get round *fast*. Everyone I know would know about it within a week, and to quote the great Marty McFly, 'I mean, I just don't think I can take that kind of rejection.'
This could make or break my entire life, and it's killing me every time I talk to her. I cannot avoid, I cannot ignore, and I cannot keep on living like this.
Help. | Socially incompetent teen's crush develops into (possible) love, but can't get courage to do anything about it. Wat do? |
t3_353uqm | relationships | Me [19 M] with my ___ [19 F] 5 years, Leaving me for friend | I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice or just want to speak my mind but here it goes.
I've dated this girl since I was 14. I'm now 19. She is the only person who has ever made me so happy and feel so important. I could go on for hours about the joy she has brought to my life up to this point.
Over this last week she has broken up with me and told me she wishes to go into a relationship with my best friend who is also going to let it happen.
I want them to be happy but fuck I'm hurting. A lot. I'm so hurt by both of them. A week ago she was sleeping in my bed with me telling me she loved me and now she tells me she simply has no feelings for me and loves my friend and they both want me out of their lives.
I don't have any other friends besides them, and now I have none. I feel like my life is ending, I'm all along, I live by myself most of the time and now I feel even lonelier. I love her so much and don't want this to happen but at the same time i have no right to tell her no and make her unhappy. I know I'm really ugly and not very outgoing. Meeting her in school was the greatest luck I've ever had. Girls don't want to, they wont even talk to me, or look at me. I'm not even sure that upsets me right now, I'm more upset that I'm losing my girlfriend who I care about so much and my friend as well. I feel like I have no body and I don't even want to go out and meet anyone. I just want to die. | My girlfriend is leaving me for my friend and I don't know what to do. I'm hurting. |
t3_11qst3 | relationships | Should I [19m] break up with my long distance girlfriend [19f]? | We're both 1 month in to our second year at different universities and it's getting tough. We've been together just over a year.
I only see her for a weekend every 2 or 3 weeks during uni. We have a great time when we're together but not as much as we used to. I feel like the passion has gone from our relationship.
This is her first proper relationship and she loves me a lot. I think I still love her.
We don't talk much when we're apart (maybe skype/phone once or twice a week?) but we text every day.
What do I do? How do I know whether to keep the relationship going or not? I'm going up to see her this weekend. | long distance relationship has lost its spark, what do I do? |
t3_3gepkb | relationships | Me [20F] with my "friend" [29 M]- left me heartbroken | A couple of days ago, I made a post in r/needafriend. I received a LOT of responses but there was one person who I got to know that really, really peaked my interest. Not quite in a romantic manner but as a friend. Let's call him Dave. Dave was married and had children with his wife. He was not used to having women as friends because he knew nothing other than his wife.
Dave was also in recovery. I can't share with what because I feel like I would be breaching a level of trust between us. Anyway, he decided to talk to his "mentor" about the relationship between him and I. His mentor had suggested to him that he doesn't feel he
s in a position to be trying to build a friendship with me right now. He took his mentor's advice and said goodbye abruptly to me last night. I am at a loss because I feel like I've never had such a genuine friendship in my life. I feel heartbroken. I know I am usually the person who's giving the advice but I truly don't know what to do. | Had an amazing friendship like nothing I've ever had before and it was ended abruptly due to mentor's advice. What should I do? Should I try to talk to him about it or let it be? |
t3_4jn8ny | relationships | Me [42 F] with my Husband [38 M] 14 Years, Caught him watching LOTS of porn and I feel cheated on... | Hi everyone...
This is a toss account. I usually surf the pet and farm sections but thought I'd use this before I go and do anything stupid...
Basics: I realized 20 minutes into my drive that I forgot my portfolio at work. I quickly drove back and when I came into the house, my husband was at the computer masturbating to porn. He was embarrassed and then got really mad... I just grabbed my stuff and went on my way disgusted.
OKAY... I'm going to be honest with myself. Our sex life really died after our second boy. My hormones never returned to normal levels, I wasn't ever really horny, and I kinda dried up... Sex became uncomfortable. I eventually gave in to my husband and would urge him to please just have his O and he got mad at this too! I remember he gave me this big lecture about how he would stop asking me for sex because it was one sided. I was relieved, and saddened at the same time.
ANYwho he did stop asking... Fast forward about 5 years and here we are. I know in the back of my mind that he does masturbate. He has to if we're not having sex, right? But NEVER did I think it was to other women... not to porn...
I checked his internet history today and sure enough, it looks like he masturbates at pretty much the same time, right after I go to work, and sometimes several times though the day...
Looking through his history, it seems like he's into teens and bjs... *sigh* he also seems to watch some guy gay porn, so I dont' know what the fuck is going on...
I just feel violated... I thought guys just did it in the shower and came to bed... Not looking at girls that I NEVER looked like...
Should I confront him? Is it my fault for not doing something about our sex life when it was going down hill? gawd I feel violated... | Caught husband watching porn on the computer, makes me feel cheated on, what should I do? |
t3_3pkl83 | Advice | Issues dealing with Amazon refusing to refund a missing order | So i've been dealing with Amazon for over a week not trying to get a refund for an order I placed. I purchased an Olympus EM5II and Olympus 17mm. One item was shipped via On-Trac and the other was shipped via UPS. I didn't receive either shipment and immediately filed claims with Amazon. I've been calling every other day and each rep has tried to give me the run around asking me to check back later and today a supervisor finally told me that Amazon would not be refunding me because of the amount of the order. I've had shipments go missing in the past and have constantly requested signature requirement for all packages and on occasion they do. I'm not always at home and there's a lot of foot traffic around my neighborhood, but at this point i'd rather not blame anybody. I just want to know what my options are now because this is utterly ridiculous and there shouldn't be any way that Amazon can get away with something like this right? | I'm out about $1400 right now and Amazon has refused to refund me or take responsibility. What do I do now? |
t3_fpmbw | AskReddit | Whats a good punishment for my irresponsible roomate? | This guy's been one of my good friends for a few years, but he absolutely refuses to grow up, he's like a 5 year old and it wasn't until we moved in together that I realized how bad it was. He leaves his shoes in the middle of the hallway, his room is disgusting and at last count had 24 old fast food bags laying around on his floor along with clothes and other garbage, and my biggest problem is that he leaves the door to the house unlocked every time he leaves, although when he gets home, he locks the front door, and his room door behind him. Well today, for the fourth time, he left the door completely open. I'm sick of this, I've tried asking him, yelling at him, even buying him dinner the one time he locked the door when he left as encouragement, but nothing works and I'm pissed. Whats a good way for me to get back at him for this? I have a lot of valuable items and although I have pictures of them and insurance, I do NOT want my stuff stolen. | Roomate refuses to grow up, wont lock door when he leaves and has left it wide open 4 times. What's a good way to get back at him. |
t3_qy5ao | AskReddit | Does anyone else lack nationalism? | I have no nationalism. Not one patriotic thought. I could care less about this country that I have been born and raised in. I care about the people, I care about the actual spot of earth I grew up on, but I have no sense of love towards the nation itself.
I'm from America (no shortage of reasons to hate here!). There are things that displease me about this country. There are also things that I like about this country. But I have never once loved this country.
In my opinion, nationalism is irrational. I understand it from a societal point of view. You adore the protector of your family, of your homestead, of your values. But, taking that for what it is, (civil liberties that have been gained for joining a society, just like certain liberties you give up for joining a society), why would somebody be compelled to *love* their country, anymore than they would love their car for getting them to and from places, or their house for keeping them warm at night?
But, here in America, you're despised if you don't love this country. You're viewed as someone who's not truly American, or someone who just doesn't quite get exactly what this country has to offer and what makes it so great and beautiful.
And I get why it's a commonality that all of those residents of a particular country share, and in that commonality is a bond, it is just completely foreigner as to why anyone would give a shit about that bond.
I'm just wondering if there are others out there, and from other countries, and how you feel about your country. | I don't love or hate my country, I just have absolutely no nationalism. Anyone else? |
t3_2j3qwq | relationships | Me 25/M currently dating 19/F for about four weeks. What's the easiest method of telling her it's not going to work out? | Been dating about four weeks. She seemed mature when we met up, however after noticing many things, which is rapidly turning immature for me.
One instance is: Twitter, I knew she had this and I try my best to respect peoples privacy but when you come across tweets angrily pointed at you (She happily posted them but didn't tell me anything that she was upset about). I don't know what to think.
Anyway, I know normally in all situations text message is the wrong way to tell people things. Which is why I don't want to take that route. However it's going to be difficult otherwise. Is sending a text at this stage okay?
I only get to see her, pretty much Friday for fifteen minutes and that's it. And should I tell her I found her Twitter feed? | What is the best way for letting her know it's not going to work out? Phone/Text/Meetup? |
t3_2jlj94 | Advice | 17, High School problems - No idea what to do | Ok fuck I feel terrible writing this.
So here's the story there are 3 people involved, lets call them Myself, Matt and Ruby. Ruby is an attractive girl and me and Matt were both attracted to her. She was on edge trying to choose between us and ended up taking Matt as a prom partner. This sent me to a shitty place, I don't want to call it depression but a bad place for a month or two.
I eventually got over it but it turns out Ruby thinks Matt is clingy and decides she isn't romantically interested in Matt and kinds of breaks things off. Not only this but she starts to get all flirty and I hear from one of her friends that she likes me.
Now it may seem like she's a slut or using guys but she's one of the nicest girls I know. My feelings are still there for her and I was going to ask her out this week. The problem is Matt.
Matt is very jealous of her shift towards me and isn't taking it well at all. Myself and Ruby both know of the trouble Matt is going through, his whole attitude has changed to a shell of what it was.
He's sad in class and recently liked a bunch of pages on facebook relating to depression and help getting out of it.
Me and Ruby both like each other, I have been where Matt was. Ruby really doesn't see Matt in a romantic way. But I think now Matt is depressed. I don't want Matt to feel how he does but I also like Ruby a lot.
What the Fuck do I do? | I liked a girl, so did another guy at school. She chose him - I got slightly depressed for a while. Turns out she doesn't like him. Now she likes me but the other guy might be depressed. I really want to go out with her but don't want him hurt. What do I do? |
t3_2gfoku | relationship_advice | Me [30M] going through rough times with wife [29F]. Feeling very down and full of despair, can use a pick me up. | My wife and I have been together for almost ten years, married for 7. We've been going through some very difficult relationship struggles for a while now and things are wearing on me. We have a pattern where things will be ok, but then there will be some sort of catalyst (I forget to do something, or she feels angry or upset about something) that gets her very upset with me because I'm unable to really understand her feelings and unable communicate with her in a way that indicates we're both on the same page. I'll say something inadequate, or passive aggressive, or submissive, which then escalates the situation and causes her to get extremely upset, often to the point of tears, anger, etc. I'll be unable to deal with this, causing me to get upset as well and just completely send the situation spiraling out of control.
I'm very down because I know this pattern exists and try as I might I can't seem to break it. We were working on a two week stretch of positive interaction and foundation building when it all blew up in my face again today, stemming from a minor incident (as it always does) where I failed to anticipate the potential disaster (as I always do), and failed to act appropriately to control the situation and keep it from escalating (as I never do).
I don't want to get divorced, I love her dearly and want to make this work. The fundamental issue in our relationship I believe is that I don't know myself and lack confidence, which makes it so I can't truly communicate and relate to her in a real, intimate way.
I know therapy is good and I have one, I'm just having a hard time battling the despair and depression that comes from constant failure. I would appreciate any advice that could be offered towards fighting this sense of failure and despair, so that I can find the energy and heart to keep trying and pull my marriage out of of the gutter. I'm happy to provide more details in the comments. | marriage failing due to a pattern of disfunction that I can't seem to break out of. Feeling depressed and despair due to constant failure. Need help not sinking into a hole. |
t3_3532u9 | tifu | [TIFU] Phone failure leads to girls thinking I was recording their bootys in a line. | So this happened this monday but I never thought of posting it here because it was highly embarrassing..
So I was in line to get some morning coffee at Starbucks Monday morning, there was a pack of teen girls standing in front of me and I was just casually browsing my phone directed towards them paying no more attention than scrolling trough my apps with earbudds in ears with fairly loud music.
One minute in or so I get a small push by one of the girls with her asking " wtf is wrong with you"... and I get confused a-f. Look up and all people in front of me in the line including the cashier looks at me as if I was some perv.
Turns out that my fast command on my phone turning on the flashlight got activated facing the girls lower bodies and they thought I was recording them or something. Had to explain to them showing them my phone and how the flashlight function works etc and also showing them my photo gallery | Was in line to get some coffee, flashlight on phone turns on and was confronted for recording some girls bootys. |
t3_1rw37r | relationships | Me [24/M] may have fallen in love with my first sexual partner [42/F] | Ill try to keep this short. I am a straight 24 year old male. Due to me not knowing how to talk to girls aside from being friendly, I never so much as made out w one until 22. I was a virgin until last summer.
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I wanted to lose it, of course, but I figured I had waited long enough that I might as well have my first time be w someone I actually liked rather than a random.
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Anyways, I meet a 42 year old bombshell and we casually date and have sex. Aside from great sex, she was funny, smart and very affectionate. After sex wed cook dinner together and cuddle and watch TV and talk. It was wonderful. I can go on and on. We haven't been intimate since July.
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She cut off the sex because she said she fell for me, and felt uncomfortable falling for someone her nephews age. We still talk several times a week and get lunch or dinner a few times a month.
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I can't stop thinking about her. I just talked to her on the phone for about 20 minutes, we laughed, and teased each other, butterflies etc. I've never been in love before, is this it?
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My head tells me we shouldnt have sex anymore, like she said, but my heart wants to. I'm 99% sure its not worth losing the friendship. She told me she can't do the fwb thing.
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1) what should I do?
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2) is this feeling common as she was my first? How should I view my feelings? | Me 24/M might be in love with first sexual partner a 42/F |
t3_2w2me6 | relationship_advice | I [24F] found my boyfriend [26M] sexting a girl [27F] he hooked up with 4 years ago. | I was playing with my bf's phone when I accidentally opened his Facebook messenger. Out of curiosity, I opened the first one, which was a conversation between him and the girl he hooked up with in Thailand when he studied abroad there in 2011. I have no issues about my boyfriend talking to his exes, and it does not threaten me much since this girl is still in Thailand and my boyfriend often makes fun of her. However, it did bother me when I read the stuff he was messaging him, like what he would do to her sexually if he was with her in Thailand or something. I know he is not emotionally cheating, since he doesn't like the girl. But based on the message thread, he was the one who started the dirty talk. I have not confronted him yet and I don't know whether to let this slide or check the messages again when we meet in a couple of weeks then confront him about it. And if I do, I don't know how without making it sound like I snooped through his phone. Any advice? | saw some dirty messages on bf's phone to this girl he hooked up with four years ago who is a thousand miles away. Should I check again next time and how do I confront him about it? |
t3_371mdn | relationships | I [20 F] am apprehensive that my boyfriend [20 M] of one year is hanging out with other girls | Okay, backstory. My boyfriend has always had a lot of female friends, and it generally hasn't really bothered me ever. It only has recently come to light that a couple of his lady friends had been strongly coming onto him without my knowledge. One even asked him to travel to where she goes to school to have sex with him. He said no, but I found out through somebody other than him, and even after I got angry about it he still wanted to be friends with her until I made it clear that I was uncomfortable with him being around her alone.
Fast forward to now. He's known this girl for a while but they haven't really ever hung out before, but they're going to get coffee in a couple of days (I'm out of town). I've never met this girl, but he was a coworker of a mutual friend of ours so a lot of our friends know her, I think.
I know that it's sort of unreasonable for me to be apprehensive about this, especially since I don't know her and she could be a cool person and whatever, but just because of everything that's happened, and the face that in his words he needs to have a close friend that's a girl who isn't me, it just makes me kind of uncomfortable. But I don't want to bring it up to him because I'm already afraid he might think I'm a crazy-jealous girlfriend because of all the stuff that's happened with his other lady friends.
I guess I'm trying to ask for advice about how to deal with the apprehension and jealousy? I really don't like feeling like this, and I really want to be okay with it, I'm just not super sure of how to be. | A lot of my boyfriend's former friends (who were girls) tried to do things with him against my knowledge, and even though he's never been unfaithful I'm still super apprehensive about him hanging out with other girls. Is there any way to sort of make myself be okay with this? |
t3_14xaix | relationships | Is it worth it to start talking to her again? [19m, 18f] | My ex [18] and I [19,m] went out [2.5+ year] since high school (her as a sophomore and me a junior) all the way to college (2nd year for me, 1st quarter of her first year). It was a high school sweetheart relationship, her first serious one and my first one.
I went to college before her and we made it work and her turn came and (different colleges, 1.5 hrs apart) she choose to value friend time over making time for me. She would talk less and less to me as the quarter progressed. The day came when she confessed she just didn't feel the same for me anymore, the physical attraction had left. We tried to make it work but in the end it always fails.
We broke up a little over a month ago and I still can't get everything about her out of my thoughts. I know I will move on and find someone else but there is that feeling of hope stuck in the back of my mind. Is it even worth trying to make it work again since winter break just started and we will both be back for 3 weeks? I haven't spoken to her since we broke up.
Any advice/similar stories will be greatly appreciated, thanks! | After 2.5+ long relationship gf lost attraction to me and we ended breaking up. It's a month later and we are on winter break, is it even worth trying to talk to her and making it work? |
t3_o0plm | AskReddit | Legend of Upper Melinda... Who's been? | My friend's dad told her about a witch who had been cut in half in the 1870's in Reisterstown, MD after she mentioned a trek to Burkittsville, MD (the backdrop to the Blair Witch Project). I know, I know, it's fake but the cemetery there is really cool and rumored to contain unmarked Confederate graves. Anyway, info below. Has anybody been? I can't seem to find evidence of it actually existing.
From some urban legend site: Gravesite of witch who taunted townspeople in the 1800's. Before she was hanged and cut in two by an anry mob, she put a curse on Reisterstown saying if anybody visited her grave, her two halves would crawl closer to each other until one day, they would become whole. For assurance, the townspeople buried her upper half on one side of Reisterstown in a grave marked UPPER MELINDA. The other grave in unmarked and has not been found till this day. | I go hunting for witches. (in snappy British accent) |
t3_crhl9 | AskReddit | Reddit, how can I view a deleted web page and put this bitch in her place? | I need to find an old web page from an internet forum that I was a part of for several years. The page in question was the last page of a thread in the controversial section of the aforementioned forum, and I need the final post on that page. I distinctly remember what the post said, but unfortunately, I did not take any screenshots of the thread. Why do I need the thread, you ask? Because I'm talking with the owner of the website. I made a fairly grave claim in an email to the site owner, and I need to provide proof. I, along with several other members (more than 50), are proving that the site manager and moderator is an abusive and vindictive bitch and needs to be fired for the site owner's own good and for the benefit of the community.
Anyway, I can't access the webpage because it was deleted shortly after the site manager posted her most scathing, obnoxious, and obscene post yet. In short, she told a forum member to kill himself and told one of the paying subscribers to give the cash to her to use for prostitutes. Yeah. She was stoned when she wrote the post and when she was back to normal, she deleted the entire thread. Is there ANY way that I can access the page that I need? I checked Google's cache and every page is available except for the final page. No other cache sites (that I know of) have the thread, because this happened about three weeks ago. I really need to get that web page and take a screenshot of it...can anyone help? | n00b needs a deleted webpage URGENTLY |
t3_36e8i3 | jobs | How do you get through pointless meetings? | 2-3 times a week, my boss calls everyone into the conference room to go over the "to-do list" for that week. These meetings usually take an hour, minimum, and they're always unscheduled, which means we're often pulled away from doing work to sit through them.
I wouldn't be so annoyed by this if it weren't for the fact that the meetings don't help anyone. Our to-do list is through a software system, and all of us track and check of everything several times a day. The only person who DOESN'T check this is my boss, and we could easily cut these meetings down to one half-hour session at the beginning of the week if he bothered to log into the system like everyone else. The meetings usually consist of "Sally, you need to do this this week"/"I did it on Tuesday" or "Kristen, I assigned this to you"/"Yes, I'm almost finished with it".
I could understand sitting through these meetings if the office staff wasn't good at tracking/accomplishing goals, but literally every single person gets their shit done on time except for my boss. 90% of these meetings consist of us reminding him everything he was supposed to do last week and him promising to complete them this week, and it repeats itself at the next meeting. | how do I maintain my patience/sanity when forced to sit through unnecessary work meetings? |
t3_21mvde | legaladvice | Establishing independence from joint cellular account? | Edit : New Jersey, US
Insight: My sister & her husband are going through marital issues, & divorce is in their future. He has locked down all shared account &/or changed the passwords, etc. He has been kicked out of the house for some time, & has become quite crazed in his obsession on monitoring her activity.
Upon monitoring her, her has changed the password on their Verizon account & removed her from being an Account Owner to an Account Member. This puts her in a no power position to the account. He then has proceeded to block numbers she contacts/contacts her. On top of this, he is monitoring her outgoing picture & text messages. He uses this information to fuel his harassment ("Who are you talking to?" "Who is sending you pictures?" or any other variation/accusation) She can not remove herself from the account to be a completely separate account since she is not listed as an account owner. Between a rock & a hard place, does she have any options? | without being an account owner, how does one separate from an account? |
t3_1q8cyd | pettyrevenge | You hate Millenials? Enjoy THAT in your bag. | I work at a liquor store. I was ringing this old lady up this morning. She gave me 20 bucks for her shitty jug of Carlo Rossi. I always make sure to ask "Out of $?" so they have a chance to get out change if they want to. She said yes, so I rang her up. As I was giving her back her change with the register already closed, she hands me change to use. I look at her for a second waiting for her to say what she wants me to do with the change now. She flips the fuck out and says, "Oh, that's right, people your age don't know how to make change." I smiled politely and said, "Would you like your receipt with you or in the bag?" She said, "With me." I put her receipt in the bag and said, "Have a GREAT day!!!" | Crabby, old lady is condescending. I put her receipt in her bag. |
t3_3zr1tt | tifu | TIFU by pronouncing a food wrong pretty much my entire life | Okay so I went to my local bakery with a few work colleagues in my break today to get a cheese and onion PASTY. I asked the woman (who was very cute) for a cheese and onion PASTRY and my work colleagues turned around to me and started laughing. I asked them what was so funny and they said it's pronounced pas-tree not pais-tree. They're two complete different things. The woman behind the counter started smiling too and I asked her. She said it was pronounced pas-tree.
All this time I've been ordering a cheese and onion pastry when I wanted a pasty but no one has said anything. And I've been using this for possible the last good couple of years when I started eating them. | Pronounced pastry as paistree for the better of 20 years of my life. Found out today it's not pronounced like that and they're two complete different things |
t3_47etzm | tifu | TIFU by allowing my kid to identity people by the color of their shirt | This was a few years back.
Don't even remember how old my son was at the time, probably 3ish. If he needed to draw my attention to somebody, he would use the color of their shirt. For example "that blue guy and me were playing on the slide!" Or "mom, that purple girl over there is in my Y class." Seemed harmless.
So we were in line at Costco. I was distracted thinking about my list or whatever. My daughter told me to look at two cute toddlers in a cart up at the checkout. I looked and agreed, they were cute. Then my son who was also looking at the toddlers said, "mom see the black guy?" I looked; yes, there was a white Costco empolyee in a black shirt who is loading their cart. He continued loudly "that black guy doesn't go with them." I agreed out loud, "yah you're right, the black guy doesn't go with them."
Less than a min later, I look up and realize that directly in front of us in line is a white couple with an adopted black child. I was horrified. Maybe they heard the part about my daughter pointing out the kids. Maybe they understood about the shirt color. But it's possible all they heard was me confirming to my son that "the black guy doesn't go with them."
I guess the main FU was that I didn't say anything to them. Wish I would have. :( | made it sound like I thought an adopted child didn't belong with its parents. |
t3_4j4ses | relationships | I [19 M] have been worrying for no reason about my relationship with my girlfriend [18 F] | So, I recently read online somewhere that ~70% of married men and women have cheated on their partners. Now, I don't know how accurate this study was. And it was done in the early 1990s which times may have been different. But I have found myself worrying over the past few days about my relationship/future of it.
I know she has never cheated on me. She is a pretty introverted and very shy/emotionally attached person to me and our relationship has gone very well for the past 2 and half years. We spend most of our free time together as well. So these worries aren't based on reality in the slightest. Just stupid worrying over percentages. Any insight?
(wow, it felt good to wright this out.) | pls help/give insight to my stupid worrying. |
t3_47oox0 | relationships | Me [22 m] and my Fiancée [23 f] for 6 years, want to buy a condo or house | hello everyone. We have been together for 6 years, and we really want to live our own life because we are living with our parents at the moment. We dont want to rent. In my opinion it is a waste of money if it's not coming back to you when you decide to move location.
We are young and already have 35k in a saving account for a future cash down. We want a kid in a couple of year (only one) so we are wondering if it would be a good idea to raise a a child in a condo. Condominium are less expensive and are near everything you need in general. We dont really want to pay 350k for a house when you can have a pretty condo for 220k. We live near Montreal in Canada so a comfy new house is like 400k.
What do you think? Thanks | Me and my girlfriend are wondering if we should buy a condo if we want to raise a child in a couple of years. |
t3_37qy8i | offmychest | I wish I was born male, but I'm female and it bugs me. | I don't consider myself transgender, because I never felt like I am in fact a man.
I have a really feminine side. I like dresses, boots, stockings and all that. But I always wished to wear them as a man sort of. I'm a huge drag queen fan, tho I have nothing with makeup. But I always admired them.
I do like pretty woman and I consider myself pretty as well. I don't have any self-esteem issues.
But it's just I always, always wanted to be born male. I have nothing against people who go for a sex change, but I would never choose for that.
I don't feel any connection with my own gender. It really feels like I shouldn't be female. I never wanted to have female genitalia or boobs. I never wanted to have a uterus. All this stuff annoys me about myself, because I don't want them myself.
I constantly have the feeling that I shouldn't have those and be male instead.
I have no problem with someone addressing me as female. As I am in fact a female. And I do consider myself female.
I know Reddit is not a doctor or psychologist, but I just want to hear some opinions or maybe different views I haven't considered yet. And also because the friend I talk most with doesn't want to talk about this, which I don't quite understand.
This, to me, has always been my identity problem. Aside from the feminine clothing, I don't do anything feminine. I don't really like makeup on myself, I don't give a single shit about what I'm wearing, I do not spend money on purses/jewellery (the stereotypes, so this is by no means meant as an offence to the girls that also don't like/buy this) aand neither have I a lot of female friends. I can't relate to them in many cases.
The thing that bugs me the most is the lack of connection I feel with my own mental and physical gender. I in fact hate that I am physically female. | I just really, really hate the fact that I was born female. But I don't consider myself transgender, because Identify myself as female. |
t3_3q5ikw | relationships | I [23/F] was sick in the hospital for a number of days and my best friend [22/F] never contacted me. | I just want to start off saying that I'm okay now!
Starting a couple of weeks ago I started feeling very sick. I have Crohn's disease, and I knew something was happening. I started seeing my doctor (and others) ASAP in hopes of stopping it before it got worse. During this time I reached out to my best friend and she seemed supportive. We would talk on the phone and she would hear me out while offering the best advice she could give and would always say let me know if you need anything.
Well then I went into the hospital for emergency surgery (Everything went well!). I didn't have my phone for a few days afterwards as I had 0 idea where it was to tell my family to get it. I did have them bring me my laptop. I posted on facebook/twitter what had happened to let everyone know. When I did get my phone, I had missed calls/texts from friends, but nothing from my best friend.
Its been 2 days since I left the hospital after spending 4 days in it, and I haven't heard from her. I guess there is a chance she didn't see anything about my stay on social media, but I find that very very unlikely.
I guess I could reach out to her, but I feel so hurt that if she did see it and didn't reach out to me, do I want to talk to someone like that?
Am I overreacting? What should I do? | Was in the hospital, friend never talked to me while in there. |
t3_1jfv3t | tifu | TIFU by getting my braces stuck in a binder (nostalgia edition) | First off, this actually happened about ten years ago, but I suddenly thought of this today..
It was a typical spring day, and I was in middle school, sitting in class and talking to a friend. I don't remember the details, but he told me a joke that I found extremely funny. For some odd reason, I responded to his joke by laughing hysterically and ended up whipping my head in a downward motion towards the desk where a mesh binder was placed. I had braces at the time, so they somehow ended up getting caught in some of the lacing of the mesh binder. The binder was something like this :
I spent at least 10 minutes facedown on the desk trying to "unbrace" myself from the binder while the class laughed at me. | I got my braces stuck on a binder |
t3_3ihatz | relationships | I [17M] mutually broke up with girlfriend [16F], and when I asked to be friends was ignored, then I fucked up. | Me and my girlfriend of 6 months broke up mutually because she was becoming very busy, and her family wasn't fond or her dating someone, and preferred that she focus on the rest of her life.
Of course this was very hard for me, so I decided that cutting it off was my best bet, I told her I thought we shouldn't talk, because it would make the break up easier.
The next day I realized that I couldn't just cut my best friend out of my life like that, so I texted her that I'd love to stay friends. She did not respond, then ignored my texts and calls for 2 days.
This really hurt me. Trying to move past it, I called her one of her good friends who I knew had a crush on me, and basically asked to fuck. Probably for the best, she said that she couldn't do that to her friend. I came to my senses and agreed.
Later that night, I get a call from my EX, her friend told her everything and my EX was very mad. She claimed that if I hasn't done that, we could have eventually continued our relationship when she was less busy, but now she never wanted to talk again :( .
I waited a good week with no communication at all. I finally gave her a call, we talked for an hour, she told me she forgave me but didn't think things could ever be the same although she wanted them too. She was fine with being friends and no longer having beef, if that was possible.
Now things are distant for the last couple days, infrequent conversations, and I made one attempt to meet up but she declined.
Should I just move on? Or wait a little longer and try again?
Sorry for the long message and appreciate and feedback or advice. Thanks. | Mutually broke up with girlfriend of 6 months, cut her off completely, decided I wanted to be friends, she ignored me, asked her friend to fuck, she got mad, then forgave me, but things are a bit off now, what should I do? |
t3_3oye5k | tifu | TIFU by listening to music with a cute girl | Okay so I never thought I could be so oblivious to signals from women, but this one probably took the cake for me personally.
Also, this is my first time posting here so bare with me.
Also also, this happened tonight.
Some back story. I met this girl at the bar about a week ago and we hit it off pretty quick talking about all kinds of weird shit. I thought this was pretty awesome because I've never met a girl who plays video games, drops acid, and smokes. She has to be sent to me specifically from the sexy love gods or something. She just moved to town a couple months ago and wanted someone to show her the area. I was more than stoked to take on this opportunity.
We met up today and things are going great. Our conversations led from one thing to the next, but we really got into depth about music. She and I have very similar tastes in bands and so later in the evening she asks if she could come over to play Elite: Dangerous and show me a few other bands she likes. Fast forward to 30 minutes ago. She has been showing me a bunch of new bands that I really liked and we never got around to playing any video games. She mentions something about it getting late and that she's tired so I just get up and walk her to the door. I tell her goodnight and that if she wants to come over again soon to play some video games or show me more bands that she's more than welcome.
She gets this weird look on her face that I never noticed until it was too late. She invited herself over because she was somehow interested in a fool like me and I didn't see it. She was also showing some affection toward me earlier tonight by sitting right next to me and every time she laughed she would look at me and bump shoulders. I'm not a very funny guy so there was my other fuck up.
I don't know how I missed all these signals but I did. I messed up good. | New girl shows me some bands, I sleep alone. |
t3_2qosn2 | relationships | Desperate for help writing a love letter | My girlfriend (age 29) and I (age 34) have been dating for around 3 years. I want to ask her to marry me but, she gave me a condition first that I must explain to her WHY I love her. I'm no wordsmith by any means. I can come up with the standard 'you're smart, funny and beautiful' all on my own.
However, these cliches are overused and I feel she would be expecting them, it wouldn't be special. What I need is some real advice on how to write this thing up and make it sound poetic and incredibly stunning.
I've been trying for months to do this and I'm just not getting anyplace at all. Any help you could offer would be much valued and greatly appreciated. As I said, I"m getting desperate and I don't want to lose her, I love her. | Need help writing a why I love her letter that doesn't sound cheesy or cliche. |
t3_2lrqq0 | relationship_advice | I [23/M] feel like there aren't any non-christians my age who aren't in the bar crowd... | As a quick background, I grew up hardcore Christian and as of turning 20 or so I fell away. Ever since then, I seriously cannot find any decent friends who aren't drunks or druggies. Being Christian it's easy, you can step into a church and find 1000 like-minded people and make friends extremely easily.
Ever since I left the faith though, I'm having a super hard time finding people, ANYBODY, around my age who aren't drinkers/smokers... And I'm not just talking about potential girlfriends. Just anybody.
I've met a few girls on Tinder/Online and gone on multiple dates with each one, but they always end up wanting to just be friends. *Well SkaSC2 isn't that what you wanted, friends?* Yes, but if every time I see you I'm reminded that I'm into you, but you aren't into me it feels pretty shitty.
So now, I just sit at home and play League of Legends because I'm so frustrated. I'm lonely, depressed, hopeless, and I don't know what to do... | I live in South Dakota and I need advice on how to meet people without going to bars or smoking weed... |
t3_351268 | relationships | Should I tell my best friend/maid of honor that I don't want to go to her birthday celebration? | EDIT: Thank you to the commenters that helped me pull my head out of my ass and put things into perspective. I've decided to go, and since my friend likes to drink it will probably be more fun this time around. :p
A little background, my BFF and I have a mutual friend that is obsessed with Disney. I've been to Disneyland twice in the last year with the both of them, once for MF's birthday, and again for MF's bachelorette party.
Now BFF just told me a few days ago "I think I want to go to Disneyland for my birthday. Sorry. At least the villains will be out since it's October." (she knows I like the villains)
The way she phrases it sounds like she's already expecting me to go. I'd feel terrible telling her no, because for one: she's my best and closest friend, and for two: she's also my maid of honor and is spending a significant of her time and money helping me plan stuff. I should want to return the favor and go make sure she has fun on her birthday, right?? I feel like an asshole just typing this out.
But I'm just so. sick. of Disneyland. Yes it's kind of fun, but the cons to me outweigh the pros:
* six hour one way drive, probably listening to the same Disney songs over and over.
* forking over like $200 bucks for ticket and hotel, not to mention the un-justifiably expensive food
* Crowds and noise that kick my anxiety into high-gear
* Having to pretend like I'm having a blast, even though we've already been there twice in the last goddamn year!
I'd hate to miss out on her birthday, but I can only seem to focus on the negatives right now. I'm wondering if I should just suck it up and go; $200-$300 isn't so bad in the long run, right...? | My best friend who's been helping me plan my wedding now wants to take a trip to a place she knows I'm sick of and that I can't (easily) afford for her birthday. Should I go? Would you? |
t3_2sej61 | weddingplanning | Is it me, or is this tacky? | Last week, I spent half a day souring the internet to get mailing addresses for my side of the guest list. I got all my friends and all my family except for my aunt who just moved.
So then I told my fiance to start getting mailing addresses for his part of the guest list.
He set up our wedding as an event on Facebook, put a note on it to PM one of us your home address, and invited everyone on his list who uses Facebook.
Is it just me, or is that really tacky? (Although you have to bear in mind that he is a software engineer.) I'm kinda embarrassed to invite any of my people to the event through Facebook, so I haven't, but alternately, it looks weird that I don't have anyone on it. | Fiance invited people to our wedding through Facebook to ask for their mailing addresses for real invites. Is that tacky? |
t3_16uiz1 | personalfinance | I'm a university professor, artist, make some money on my art but mostly lose it. . .help me understand my tax situation. | So I teach at a university and have even paid an accountant to do my taxes but the guy had no clue how to deal with a university professor who needs to 'research' and 'produce' to keep their job. I make about $62K, get a few hundred to a few grand in reimbursed expenses and museum/non profit commission every year, but mostly I spend about $10-15K doing my job being a professional artist.
This means I spend money on supplies, travel for exhibitions, meals when traveling, website and electronics, etc.
What's in my best interest when filing? I'm clueless, help! | I lose money on my career, but being an exhibiting artist is what helps me keep my teaching job. How does the fed view this? |
t3_36cndv | relationships | I'm (32m) missing that feeling that I get when I'm with her (27f) | I recently broke up with my long time girlfriend and I miss her so much. I miss sleeping next to her and waking up next to her. I miss watching movies with her. I miss making her laugh. Most of all I just miss being with her.
Our relationship had it's problems. She is the kind of person that blames everything on others and I was her favorite scapegoat. She also cheated on me multiple times. Despite all that though I saw who she was deep down. She can be caring and sweet. She has the most beautiful smile I've ever seen with the exception of our daughter.
I've struggled with depression for years but every since meeting her I've had this profound sense of hope that I'd never felt before. She made me a better person just by being her.
Even with everything that's happened between us, I love her so much. We're trying to remain friends since we have a daughter to raise together. It's tough though because there's still a lot of negative feelings on both sides.
Any tips on how to deal with these feelings? | Broke up with the love of my life and trying to be friends together. Need advice to deal with lingering feelings of love and longing. |
t3_3dt8ix | tifu | tifu by going into work | So I was honestly thinking of calling off today but my attendance hasn't been good lately and I need the job so I didn't. I really should have though. After working for about three hours my supervisor approaches me and says I need to check on the women's bathroom. As soon as they said this I figured something was badly messed up.
Sure enough in the third stall some disgusting bitch had left her bloody tampon and the packaging for a new tampon in the toilet.
I put gloves on and brought the garbage can as close as I could to the toilet before fishing it out with a toilet brush; still had to hold back wave after wave of nausea. | felt like calling in, didn't wanna lose my job so I sucked it up, ended up toilet diving for used tampons. |
t3_13opb1 | loseit | Losing very fast first week back on diet after 3 months off - normal? | I did WW for about 8 months, lost about 40 pounds (223-mid-180s) (I'm a 6' guy), went through something stressful that made me lose focus. I gained more than half of it back (to around 207) back during that time.
Exactly seven days ago, I noticed my belly size was getting back into the self-consciousness zone, so i weighed myself, saw the gain, and started tracking my food with MyFitnessPal. In seven days, I've gone from just over 207 to just under 195.
I use my scale and Wii Fit each day and they give different numbers but they both say I've lost 12 pounds. I feel fine, but I have been eating right around 1000 kCal less than I need to maintain weight, so I would have expected this loss to have taken six weeks.
What is going on with my body? Is this because I gained the weight so recently/quickly? I don't understand at all and it's kind of freaking me out. | Is it okay to lose 12 (newly gained) pounds in a week? |
t3_2yztkf | Advice | I need help finding a specific kind of job | Note: This is a bit more realistic than my previous posts. I want to make ok money (over 10$ an hour), doesn't require education or experience. I don't mind working hard though, like "I can't get up the next day" hard. All the easy jobs either pay nothing or require education so I figured I'll just get my hands dirty. This is only temporary though as I plan on getting my real estate license. I basically want to save up as much money as possible in say 6 months so I can A. get experience B. buy a car & C. Buy clothes as I only have 3 outfits at the moment. Once I have a car I'll get a job at a dealership. That will help me because if you can sell a car you can sell a house (I think). | I want a high paying job (at least $10 an hour) & I don't mind busting my ass/getting my hands dirty. |
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