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t3_1jtkq3 | AskReddit | Did I do the right thing? What would you have done in this situation? | My little brother (he is 19, I'm 22) who has his apartment and college paid for by my dad started buying quarter pounds of weed and selling ounces out of my parents house during summer break. Whole house smelled like weed for days. My dad works as an engineer for the federal government. If cops found that much weed at the house he could get arrested and lose his job and pension. So after having a talk with my brother and getting nothing accomplished, I told my parents. I felt they had a right to know and that my brother does not give a single fuck about the fact that he is putting other people besides himself at risk. He just does not care about anyone but himself. Anyway, in the end my parents threw his weed in the creek and he is super pissed at me. I feel like an asshole but I think it was the right thing to do. | 19 year old younger brother selling ounces out of parents house. He is a selfish prick. I told my parents. |
t3_2h17ff | relationships | I [21 M] want to break up with my girlfriend [19 F] but we just got back together. | In college and starting dating a girl last year who I saw at parties all the time. Things were fine for a while but then the end of the school year started to roll around and we knew we had to decide if we were going to be serious or not because she lived in another state.
We decided to stay together for the summer and try it out. I was miserable the whole time, my friends and I would always go out, meet girls and I'd always want to take one home, but never did. The fact that I was thinking about other girls made me feel worse.
When she came to visit me I had to break it off because I was so miserable. She had no idea I was even upset and thought things were going fine. But when school started up again this fall, we ended up getting back together per my request.
Now I just wish we never got back together because I'm just not looking for a relationship right now, but don't have the heart to tell her because she's so happy and clearly wants to be with me. I feel so bad dumping her twice out of the blue like this, but I don't want to lead her on. Help. | I want to break up with my girlfriend but feel like a dick because we just got back together. |
t3_w0cib | AskReddit | Dad is a Vietnam vet with extreme PTSD, won't medicate/therapy. What can I do? Also, he's a total ASS now. | My dad is 62 years old, a Vietnam veteran who was drafted and extremely emotionally stunted my entire life. In order to gain compensation for his PTSD, he had to recently go through some therapy through the VFW and was asked to speak about his experience in the war, which flooded him with repressed memories. He quit going to therapy and taking any medication (besides weed). Now, he is almost intolerable. He snaps at my mom constantly, acting as if he even hates her, and thinks she's a total idiot. He also treats my sister this way, but to a lesser degree. He gets along with me because he can teach me about being an artist, which is the only way he knows how to bond with his children- informing and teaching. Since my sister is not an artist, he doesn't seem to even like her anymore. He ruins all family outings, getting frustrated very quickly and snapping at anyone and everyone who speaks to him, including waitstaff at restaurants, people driving, etc.
He goes to bed extremely early, and expects everyone to eat dinner with him at 3 pm (on weekends), during the week he is in bed before anyone even gets home from wherever they were. He is retired but has screenprinting to do during the weekdays, facebook addiction for all other times of the day.
I'm only 22, but I am the only one he will open up to about his issues and I don't live in the same state as my family anymore. I feel like I am mediating my family from 7 hours away, trying to keep them from falling apart and I'm failing at this point. Has anyone had experience dealing with a family member this way? I feel like I need to stage an intervention with him, before my mom kicks him out. | My dad suffers from PTSD, won't get help, gotten stronger with time. My family is almost fed up with him and I am not sure what to do to help from 7 hrs away. |
t3_3p6xue | tifu | TIFU by accidentally sending a shitty text to a girl I just went on a date with | This just happened. I went on a first date with a girl and it was awesome. We had been talking everyday for a couple weeks and she's really easy to talk to and I was super nervous about the date. She was cute and nice and I had a ton of fun. Like it went very well. When I got back I told all my friends how well it went and I was texting her about what we should do next time.
A couple nights ago I showed two of my friends her picture and told them that I was going on a date with her and one said she wasn't attractive and that she's a "4". The other friend agreed with me that she's a 7 or 8. So when I got back I messaged the cool friend that she was a solid 7 and, the asshole friend is an asshole, but I sent it to the girl and now she hates me. I meant 7 in the best way I could have but that still sucks to say about someone. | imsuchanassholefuck |
t3_eqliq | relationships | Gifts from an ex? | I am a 20 year old girl in my 3rd year at a UC. Last year, I dated another girl my same age for about 5 months. We were pretty close at first, shared some classes, visited each other on school vacations, but gradually drifted apart as I realized I wanted more from the relationship than she wanted to give. Eventually, we had a mutual breakup, agreeing to stay friends afterward.
Our relationship spanned from October to March, which happened to include both Christmas and Valentine's Day. She gave me some presents that I really like: a nice t-shirt and some casual but pretty jewelry. I used to wear it when I knew I'd be seeing her, to make sure she knew I appreciated her gifts. Among other things, I also gave her a few pieces of casual but pretty jewelry in return.
Now that we're just friends, I'm not sure what to do about the things she gave me, as I haven't seen her wearing what I gave her more than once or twice. We are still in the same social group at school, though I've started dating again and sometimes include my new gf in group activities. I feel she might be a little more uncomfortable around me than I am around her, even when my new gf isn't around. Is it okay to wear the things when she's around, or is it more of a slap in the face? | Wear things my ex gave me, or not? |
t3_3v1w54 | relationships | My boyfriend [22/M] of 7 months wants me [20/F] to move in with him next semester, advice on what to expect? | I've been going out with my SO for about 7 months now and it's been great! We're open with our communication and generally do not argue. If we do have a disagreement, we usually just hash it out and compromise. He's a wonderful guy and I'm excited at the prospect of this.
He's graduating this semester from college, but he signed a 1 year lease, so he has another six months to pay for his apartment. Normally, during the school year, he receives aid that covers his living expenses, but since he graduates this semester, he won't have any aid coming in next semester. He plans on getting a job, but me moving in is mostly to save money, because I'd cover half of the rent, and he won't be worried so much about payment. I have no problems with this, because living with him will also save money on my end as well.
I have a little bit of concerns though. We are kind of young. And our relationship is relatively new. But we get along great, and always communicate. This would be the first time either of us has lived with a SO before... so I guess what I'm asking is, what should I expect? Are there things I should look for moving in with him? How do relationships usually fair once they take this step?
I do want to move in with him. I think it'll be great. But I just want to make sure I'm fully aware of what can happen. | Boyfriend of 7 months would like for me to move in with him next semester. It's a smart financial move for both of us, I'm just worried about our age and what sorts of problems may arise with the move. |
t3_1ozjb4 | relationships | I [40M] found out my wife [39F] had multi-year affair; feeling like I can't deal with it | Long story shorter.
I was a super asshole for a few reasons. Mainly, I was suffering from depression, didn't know it, and therefore didn't seek treatment. I was functional but emotionless and cold. She interpreted that as me being angry with her and basically done with the relationship. A coworker proposed a sexual relationship and she accepted. The relationship continued for a few years, "off and on."
Fast forward to today. I found out about 6 months ago and we have been trying to work it out. I am taking medication and seeing a counselor. At first I was very understanding but the last month or so I'm just angry and hurt. It's obviously causing problems in our relationship.
I'm wondering if it's just time to throw in the towel. We have 2 kids, early teenage years. Is anyone out there who has successfully made it through something like this? Am I just going through a necessary phase in recovering? | I'm an ass, wife reciprocated. Trying to work it out but feeling pessimistic. |
t3_1zvs6s | relationships | Me [21M] with my girlfriend [22F] together for a year and half, i'm pretty sure her best friend [21M] wants to be with her | My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and half now and within the past 6 months or so she has started to hang out with an ex co-worker quite a bit. At first I just wrote it off and then it got to the point he was always coming over. We started to argue about it more and more but I eventually I had to write it off. She told me nothing was happening and he "Didn't like her like that" and that I should trust that nothing would happen on her end. I have confronted him about it and he says he doesn't feel that way for her but I believe her...not him.
Recently he started dating one of my girlfriends and myself mutual friends and at first I relaxed and figured that whether he was lying to me or not, it was over. That was until at a recent party his girlfriend (my friend) was told that she looks a lot like mine (petty I know but it was an eye opener) and when he has been coming over to hang out with my girlfriend he hasn't been telling his.
All of it just seems super suspicious and every time I bring it up I get told to stop worrying and that I am wrong about everything. I don't know what to do especially when one of my really good friends is on the same page as me. It's confusing and any advice could help. | I am pretty sure my girlfriends best friend wants to hook up with her and she is oblivious to it. |
t3_2i8zg6 | relationships | I (22 M) and my SO (23 F) are still having spats about her father. | I posted on here some time ago and got very good response so I
decided to come back. As a very quick overview. Her father and I do
not get along. Not in an overt way, more like a cold war. He is very
religious. I am not. I also don't like the way he has treated her for the
23 years she's been her father. (Hasn't been in the picture, never
paid child support. Never helps her with money. A dead beat.) Well
Now today my girlfriend asks me about seeing a psychologist and
when I asked why, she says that her father bought the new Iphone,
a new car, gave her brother money, and didn't give her anything.
Her brother is unemployed with no education, my girlfriend works full
time and goes to school full time, and I still help her to pay for school.
She does all of this alone with my help. Nobody in her family helps,
let alone her dead beat father. This isn't the first time she's gotten
upset over these types of things with her father and whenever we talk
we get into an argument because I tell her to straight up cut him off,
or basically, to stop caring, and she says she cant. She's constantly
holding out hope that he will change and it bothers me so much
because my girlfriend is an amazing woman but also a fool. You could
beat her with a stick, steal all of her money, kill her dog, and she'd
still help you if need be. She is far too helpful when nobody will do
the same for her. I honestly don't even know what type of responses
I'm looking for here, or even what question to ask. But I guess any
type of advice would be good. Am I being too hard on her? Do I just
not understand? I don't get it. I'm really struggling. I hate her father! | My SO and I had an argument over how she should react over her dead beat father spending money on himself and not helping her out ever. |
t3_307182 | self | I think the majority of the treatment of Justin Bieber is a form of bullying from a circlejerk mentality. | There is a circlejerk mentality whereby it is extremely fashionable to slag off Justin Bieber. Every potential wrongdoing of his is amplified just because people want a reason to target him. People purposefully write harsh things about him without realizing the potential damage that could be caused. Without doubt the level of abuse has entered the realms of bullying. The wider effect of this socially accepted form of bullying is unknown.
> the entire discussion surrounding the singer is tinged with moral elitism, looking down on Bieber's disorderly and disobedient behavior as though pointing out others' missteps implies we're above such follies.
This quote summarizes one aspect of my feelings about the situation. | People are cunts to Justin Bieber and I don't like it. |
t3_3ggmap | relationships | My [20F] boyfriend [21M] of two years ended our relationship the other day, but last night told me he wanted us to be friends with benefits. | This may be a long post so I apologise.
My SO and I were best friends before started going out two years ago. A few days ago he ended our relationship. He said that he just didn't feel the same way anymore and needed time to figure things out. I was very confused at first because we have never had any problems before and absolutely nobody had seen this coming. It's so unexpected and so unlike him that people think he is having a mental breakdown.
Last night I got the chance to speak to him but I'm now even more confused than before. He said that he was the happiest he has ever been when we were going out and assures me I'm perfect and haven't done anything wrong. He wants us to be able to hang out like we used to, except we wouldn't have the title of boyfriend and girlfriend. He threw around the idea of being friends with benefits. I personally don't think that's very fair on me as I have liked him for a long time and don't want my emotions played like that.
On one hand I want to make it clear to him that he needs to make a decision, but on the other hand I don't want to lose him forever. | My SO broke up with me but he wants us to remain friends with benefits. Confusion ensues. |
t3_1woenm | relationships | Me [28F] with my partner [32] of 10 months, I just tested positive for HIV | [previous post](
First of all, I would like to say thank you for everyone who responded. All your words were very kind and helpful. An to the ones who called me a whore and other mean things I hope that never in your life will you or someone you love be in the situation that I am in right now.
I took him to the clinic this morning, and told him in the car before we went in. He immediately started to apologize, and telling me he didn't know. We cried and held each other, gained our composure and went in. He tested the same as me.
We're okay, we just need to keep moving forward. I wish I had more of an update for all of you. Once again thank you everyone for your advice and kind words. | Took him to the clinic, same results as me. |
t3_3dftv9 | relationships | My girlfriend [24F] of 3 years says she needs a break from me [24M] out of the blue. | So my girlfriend of 3 years said to me a couple days ago that she needs a break. She said that it was nothing that I did and that she just needs time to figure out what she is doing with her life(Medical school). She also said that she has changed since we started dating and because of it, she feels too dependent on me. She specifically told me that she wasn't breaking up with me (I'm still skeptical) and that she loved me very much and that she can see an amazing future with me (also skeptical).
What makes me confused is we don't spend that much time together to see why a break would be necessary. We live about 45 minutes away from each other because of my job and I just got back from a 2-week long vacation with my family. We have never had any big arguments however she does seem to be stressed all the time due to school.
To top it off we have a trip to Europe planned to visit her mom and dad at the end of August!!! She said she didn't want me to go anymore and that she would take care of my ticket. I don't know what to say to her. I'm so hurt that she would even consider that since it's something we've both been looking forward to for awhile now. She texted me yesterday and told me that she loved me and that I was so great for understanding.
She wants to talk about it a little more next week in person. Should I expect the worse? Should I reach out to her? This has never happened to me before and I'm so confused. Any advice or experience would be much appreciated. | Girlfriend wants a break out of the blue before a big trip to Europe, no longer wants me to go. Says she still loves me and says she just needs space. |
t3_4v73fy | relationships | My [24M] girlfriend [24F] of 2 years called me sexist | Throwaway and mobile so sorry for any formatting issues. My girlfriend [24F] and I [24M] were at a baseball game yesterday with some friends. She had met us at the game straight from a bar after work, and when she showed up she was pretty drunk. She had forgotten her wallet at home yesterday (we live together) so she was relying on me for food at the game. I'm fine with this, we share purchases pretty evenly. I bought her a hot dog, nachos, and a water at the beginning of the game.
However, towards the end of the game she wanted a churro. Already spending the majority of my cash on the other food, I told her no as I wanted to keep some ($10ish) money in my wallet. Earlier in the week, she had also said she wanted to eat healthier. Obviously ballpark food isn't great for you, but splurging once in a while won't hurt. She begged for one but we were about to leave anyway, so I told her no again and she got quiet. Again, pretty tipsy so I thought it was more alcohol than her really wanting a churro.
In the car on the way home, she called me sexist for not buying her the food she wanted, saying I shouldn't be controlling what goes into her body. I get that, and really was only trying to save some money and help her eat healthier (for being at a ballgame). Am I being sexist and I don't realize it? She actually calls me that quite a lot, for little things I can't remember off the top of my head. I really don't think I am, and I'm starting to think that's her go-to when she doesn't get her way. Any advice? | Am I sexist for not buying my gf a churro? |
t3_14az8q | relationships | I [19M] am in a dilemma as to what to tell my girlfriend [18F] about an event. | Hello,
I am in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend, and we've been going for about a year and a half. We've really persisted through a lot.
Despite this, I've felt a desire to *get out there* now that I'm in college, and she will be too soon. She's always seemed too good for me, though, and she doesn't deserve to hear that. I'm doing good enough to have her already. And I've been managing alright.
But today, something happened. I oftentimes will go to work at my school's office and a friend of mine will come by with some fun activity to keep me occupied. Today she kissed me on the cheek. She has a boyfriend too, but her frequent visits and overall demeanor make me think that she's interested in me. Perhaps I am being ridiculous.
Regardless, I don't know if I should tell my girlfriend. Normally I would just *tell her* because we should be able to talk about these sorts of things, but I am afraid that it will spark a larger discussion that will lead to our breaking up. At the same time, the thought relieves me. But I come back a third time; she doesn't deserve that. A fourth, maybe I don't deserve her.
I am contemplating what to tell her. Any advice? | got kissed on the cheek while in a relationship, wut do? |
t3_m52eu | jobs | Canadian University student looking for an international internship | I will be graduating this upcoming May from one of the top accounting schools in Toronto, Canada and I was hoping to do an internship this summer with an international company. I was wondering if anyone in this subreddit had any experiences applying for summer internships in the US and UK.
I have interned at a global Fortune 500 company already, will be joining one of the big accounting firms next September (after the summer), and I would love to work in another country. I have not applied for a US work visa yet, but I do plan to once I begin applying for internships.
Thanks in advanced! | Canadian accounting student graduating soon. Wants to intern in the US/UK during the summer. Wants to know if anyone has done so and how they went about doing it. |
t3_ptw8f | AskReddit | When mods abuse their power on reddit the best option is to create a new, better community. That's how /r/Trees came to exist. Anyone interested in doing this for /r/WTF? | Like many users, I was extremely disappointed in the moderator response to the Chris Brown submission yesterday.
There doesn't seem to be any valid reason to remove public documents just because some users are upset about them and using their twitter to say so.
Beyond that, nothing high profile should be removed without some sort of explanation.
In my opinion, mods shouldn't remove posts if they aren't willing to come out publicly about why they did so. Not speak through an intermediate.
Rather than having a mod witch-hunt, I personally think the best response here might be to create a **new subreddit** that isn't moderated in such an absurd way.
After all, that's how some of the better subreddits around came into existence. /r/Trees was created when the /r/Marijuana mod was abusing his post there, and it's now a huge community.
Even ViolentAcrez left the /r/WTF mod team after two moderators deleted the post and comments without any explanation. | Is it time to start something new? |
t3_nseu4 | relationships | I messed up with a girl I really like, but I'm not sure if I'm reading her right, please help... | So I'm a senior in highschool, and before you think "oh shit let's get out of here before we stick out dick in crazy",just please hear me out...So I've had a thing with this girl for a while now, let's call her Ann. Well I've been texting another girl, in a friend-to-friend scheme, for a while,too, who we'll call Beth. So I've told Ann about how strange Beth can get sometimes,and I have a thing for Ann, and Ann knows this...So I agreed to hang out with Beth, and I told Ann that,thinking it wouldn't be a big deal, but at the same time I told her about another guy, let's call him Jim, who had just sent a picture of his dick to Beth. Jim is a player who was trying to talk to Ann a few weeks ago, but I told him to screw off, so now he's trying to mess around with Beth, so I told Ann (just so she would realize how much of a douche he is) about the dick pic, so she asked Jim, who then texted Beth about it, who then texted me pissed off about me telling Ann in the first place...Now both girls are mad at me; I couldn't care less about Beth, but I really hurt Ann, and she has trust issues because of her dad's history of abuse....What do I do? Please help | 2 girls are mad at me, 1 girl is the only one I really care about, she has trust issues,how do I resolve? |
t3_2xcya3 | relationships | I [24F] just overheard my coworkers [Mixed ages, F] talking about me in the locker room. I don't know what to do. | I'm no stranger to being bullied. I'm neither attractive, nor especially exemplary in any capacity. It's happened all my life, and I understand it's just a part of human nature.
This morning while leaving work (graveyard shift) I overheard the other women talking about how weird/awkward/quiet/inconvenient I am. Some even stated they try to get in after I leave. I'm pretty hurt and disparaged because I thought they pretty were nice to me.
I sort of wanted to walk out into the middle of the conversation, but I didn't want to make anyone feel bad. I also considered making a cutting or backhanded comment from where I was in relation to them. Instead I just kept on doing my thing.
So at this point, what should I do? I feel like talking to them or a supervisor would just make the issue bigger than it already is and make me look like I cause problems and drama. Asking for an earlier leave time would inconvenience the company because my supervisor, who is also my relief, is always late anyway. However, I'm still really upset by what they said. I don't mean to be an inconvenience, and I'm not around to bother people. | Overheard dayshift coworkers making fun of me while I was changing to leave. Feel really shitty. Words of encouragement and/or action plans needed. |
t3_4jggy9 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my Ex-girlfriend [20 F] of less than two years, I broke up with her about a week ago and she's already found someone else and I feel jealous | Her and I had been dating for about a year and 8 months and in the past maybe 6 or more have been at eachother's throats. We would argue a lot, and I'll admit I wasn't a good boyfriend and that I didn't love her anymore at the time we broke up. We broke up about 10 days ago. She claims recently (in the past three days) that she no longer loves me.
However, since then we've tried to stay friends including a few days of her trying to convince me to be fuck-buddies. I didn't want to do that because I knew it would be really emotionally confusing for me. Before she had moved on from the relationship she told me she slept with her friend who had been obsessed with her while we were dating. Now she says she's over the relationship and she's gone on a date with this guy she met on tinder and told me they slept together.
As soon as I heard that my heart dropped and I felt really sick. I'm glad she's moving on, and I even gave her some advice because she was nervous he didn't like her. But I felt so sad when I went to bed last night (she told me yesterday).
While this is happening I'm struggling to get matches on tinder and I've always had really low self-esteem when it comes to girls.
Am I just mean because I want her to be celibate while I try to sleep with other girls? Or I am rightfully jealous? Or is it something else.... | Ex slept with some one who she really likes now about a week after our breakup. I'm trying to be her friend still so I gave her advice but I really feel jealous and upset. |
t3_38v3fe | AskDocs | Question on HIV/AIDS | I'm almost 22, male, around 170-180 lbs, 5'9, caucasian.
I was sexually abused by my stepfather as a child. The first instance of abuse was before I can remember. The first instance of penetration was around the age of 4 or 5.
I don't know if my stepfather had any STDs, but I'm planning to meet my long distance girlfriend in the next year or so and I want to make sure I'm clean. I have an anxiety disorder and leaving the house is difficult for me on my best days. I would really like to avoid leaving the house if possible but I'm not going to put her health at risk in any way. I'll go get tested eventually just to be sure but I just wanted to know if I can breathe easy for a while.
So. That brings me to my question.
I recently got a comprehensive lab test done. The lab test shows that I have slight anemia, slightly abnormal thyroid levels, and that I am prediabetic. Those seem to be the only issues that came up.
I am assuming that if I were infected it would already be pretty advanced considering my first exposure was 15+ years ago. If that's the case, would any abnormalities show up in my lab results or blood profile? Wouldn't my blood count be off by now, prompting them to send me for more tests? Basically I want to know if I can relax. I'm pretty sure I'm not infected, but I have been feeling really crummy and completely devoid of energy lately so I just want to strike the worry from my mind if possible.
Probably not relevent, but: I had meningitis at the age of 16 and since then I have had seizures. They seem to be getting more frequent. I also have extremely bad migraines regularly. I am nearly always nauseated and just about any time I have a panic attack I throw up. This has been going on for a few years now. I have zero energy and no drive, but I usually chalk that up to depression/anxiety. | Would a regular blood test/CBC show any abnormalities if someone was infected with AIDS/HIV (presumably would have been infected for 15+ years) or would they need to get an HIV test to be sure? |
t3_3vfziu | loseit | [SV] -50 lbs this year / -70 lbs overall [flair update] | It's still sinking in, but I wanted to share how this worked for me so far.
I had a friend that used to just call me by my first initial prefixed with the word 'big.' "Hey Big J, what's up?" I forgot about that until today.
In '07, I primarily used running and a low-carb diet to push myself across the one-derland line. Illness knocked out my exercise plan and I never found a sustainable diet to compensate. The weight came back.
My lifetime peak weight was in 2011. I deliberately blocked it from memory, but recently found office visit records from my doctor that revealed what I'd tried to forget. /smh
In 2013, I lost 20 lbs for a 90 mile hiking trip in New Mexico with my son. I didn't want to be the dad that couldn't keep up. Yo-yo'd for two years after that until this year when I decided I was done being that 'big guy.'
Since May, I've been reading /r/loseit (and /r/fatlogic) daily. Calculated TDEE, BMR, and set daily calorie targets for a sustained average weight loss of 1.66 lbs/week. Tracked EVERYTHING in MFP. Re-calculated every month or two. Very light on exercise, but two months ago did pick up a step tracker for my planned transition to a fitness focus. Other than CICO daily calorie targets, I'm not following any specific diet. I've incidentally reduced my carb intake and I pay some attention to MFP macro totals, but nothing like real keto, paleo, etc.
I am tremendously grateful to everyone in these subreddits. You all set a great example, are honest about what works, and very supportive. Thanks!
[M/6'/40's/SW:225,CW:175,GW:175] | Middle aged guy overweight/obese most of life, CICO'd back to normal weight - Reddit be awesome. |
t3_uakbq | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, Has Anyone Ever Stolen Your Thunder? | I'll start: In high school, as a budding guitarist, I got some guys together to play at our talent show. We decided to play a classic rock song that's pretty simple and well-known, since we were still learning and stuff (don't worry, it wasn't "Smoke on the Water"). Well, right before we go on, the other guitarist leans over and says, "don't do anything yet, I'm gonna do something." He then proceeds to bust out this blistering solo, and the audience ate it up. Our measly little cover song couldn't hold a candle to his spontaneous showboating. The next day he's doused with compliments, and I get maybe one or two. Reddit, how has your thunder been stolen? | In high school, my rockstar dreams were stepped on by a superior player. |
t3_1dd2t5 | relationship_advice | [22/m] My girlfriend [21/f] of 8 months has started ignoring things that are bothering me, any idea how we can work this out? | Long story short, my girlfriend broke up with her ex because he wasn't the best of relationship material. They dated for two years before she realized he didn't make her happy. I met her and we hit it off really well.
Now the problem, she still lives with her ex because she cannot get out of her lease. They used to be in the same bedroom ect. but now he has moved into what used to be their living room. I would be totally okay with it, if he didn't try to get her to constantly cheat on me. He kisses her, lays down nude on her bed, tries to get/give massages, constantly asks for sex or blowjobs/handjobs because he has "Blue balls" and in general is trying to make her cheat on me. During spring break he made her sick by getting sick himself and getting into her face and coughing all over her so that he could "take care of her" and try to have sex with her while she was bedridden. He also was emotionally abusive and physically hit her when she ended things with him, (he ended up with a stint in jail so she could temporarily move her things out so she could determine what her course of action would be for living arrangements).
She doesn't do ANYTHING to stop this behavior. She thinks that she hurt him enough (She did cheat on him previously, with me) and that she is trying to help him, so she tries to be friends with him while he continues this behavior. She says that he doesn't have anyone else to turn to and that he isn't close with very many people or his family and that he is a human being and deserves to be treated as such.
She says no, and I trust her completely. But honestly it is starting to bother me that this other dude is around and she won't ignore him or give him negative reinforcement for bad behavior.
Whenever I bring up that this upsets me she seems to just brush it off and say that she isn't used to doing things alone or that she doesn't want to upset him or do something that she doesn't normally do because then she will start crying, ect. ect. | My GF still lives with her ex, he constantly tries to get her to cheat on me. |
t3_2gfkpn | relationships | Me (19M) writing a love letter to my gf (19F) while she struggles with school stress. What do I write? | Hi r/relationships, I'm new here. A quick background: I am a 19M that has been dating a 19F nursing student for nearly a year now. She is my first everything, and I am her first LTR. This girl is utterly amazing, she is kind, trusting, intelligent and beautiful.
I want to write her a love letter as part of our one year celebration, and hopefully every year after that as she's never had anything like that done for her before, and she's given me the impression she likes that corny love stuff like that. Also we have talked many times about living together, our future together and whatnot.
The thing is, since I'm her first real boyfriend, I don't want to scare her or make her suddenly feel trapped and push her away as ive read sometimes happens. My biggest fear is she'll decide she wants to see what else is out there or wants to see what other relationships are like. Any advice on what to put or not put in my letter? I want to express just how important she is to me. | a young man who loves his long term girlfriend with all his heart wants to write a love letter for a one year thing, but doesn't want to make her suddenly feel trapped. What does he write? |
t3_39lh7z | relationships | Me [26F] with him [24M], second date, annoyed by his cheapness... | Hi,
I met this guy on Hinge and we had a fantastic first date. The second date was great too, except when it came time to leave. We were in the city and we both needed to take cabs home. He lives about 20 minutes away from me by car. He wasn't able to open the Uber app on his phone, so I suggested he just hop in mine and he could venmo me, (I also said he could buy me a drink the next time, but he said that didn't sound fair). Anyway, we get in the uber and start driving and I sugges we should maybe drop him off at his place frist since it sounded closer. We head that way, turns out it's pretty far. Like 15 minutes out of the way in one direction, and my phone was on low battery. Anyway, we drop him off and I ask him to make sure I get home safely because my phone was about to die. Well, I get home 20-25 minutes later and I didn't hear from him last night or today. I assumed he'd ask how much the cab was (keep in mind he didn't pay for my drinks or dinner on the date). He hasn't texted to ask how much it cost, the ride ended up being $35! That's way more expensive than it would've been if I had just gone back to my place. He lived pretty out of the way. I really don't want to have to text him to pay his part, we talked about seeing each other on Saturday night. I'm pretty annoyed by this and not sure what to do. Should I text him to let him know how much it was? Or assume he'll pay me/buy me a drink when I see him next? Ugh. | Paid for my date's expensive cab ride home, he didn't text/call me after to ask how much it was or to make sure I got home safely. Not sure if I should ask him to venmo me? That leaves a bad taste in my mouth... |
t3_2gojkw | tifu | TIFU by plasti-dipping nearly everything in my friends dorm, causing thousands of dollars in damage. | My friends and I were on a mission to prank our buddy Jeff while he was out of town. He "lives" in a small dorm-room about the size of a shoebox at our local university.
One of my buddies suggested wrapping everything in aluminum foil, as payback for when Jeff took his stuff and pulled the old 45º everything-on-its-side trick.
Agreeing that it would be hilarious, I got the brilliant idea of using Plasti-Dip instead of aluminum foil to step it up a notch.
Not having really done any research on the product (other than knowing it was plastic spray that you could peel off) we bought a dozen cans of straight black Plasti-Dip.
Fast forward 2 days later (now a friday evening) my buds and I started the process of taking (almost) everything out of his room in prep for the plasti-dip. We couldn't do things like the bed, walls, ceiling, text books for class, etc - but nothing else was spared.
We plasti-dipped everything else. Pens, pencils, computer desk, microwave, 2 wooden chairs, desk lamp - and his 2012 Mac Book Pro computer.
We were so preoccupied with how hilarious our efforts would be that we didn't even think about how fucking stupid it was.
Fast forward to Sunday afternoon. Jeff comes home and is met by a smiling group of friends, eager to see him and get him home. We get him home, he opens his dorm-room door and the day instantly turned hilarious to disastrous in the matter of about 3 seconds.
Apparently we didn't use "enough" plasti-dip for it to be removable... we ruined all of his shit, including his Mac Book Pro. We promised to replace everything and buy him a new Mac Book Pro, but he's still very sour about it and is contemplating finding new friends.
Moral of the story, if you plasti-dip someone's stuff including a laptop, or you're gonna have a bad time. | Plasti-dipped a friends personal items (including a laptop) as a joke - didn't use enough plasti-dip and ruined everything. |
t3_1gzvxf | relationships | Me[23/M] dating [20/F] 3 months, She moved far away, how do I keep her interested without scaring her away | I [23M] began dating a wonderful girl [20f] who peaked my interests in many ways. Wonderful taste in music, beautiful outlook on life, very adventurous and outgoing. She knew how to be a great girlfriend without pushing or rushing into anything.
When we began dating I knew upfront she was leaving but assumed the risk of heartache and kept on seeing her. We both knew it would be really hard to say goodbye but we kept on seeing each other taking short trips to the beach, museums, shows. All of which we both shared interests in so we had a great time anywhere you went.
On top of many common interests our sex life was fiery and we spent most of our time in bed trying new things with each other. This pulled me even close to her as Ive always wanted a girl open to sexual curiosity.
Im trying to keep this short to gain your interests as I will field any questions to help with my dilemma. She just moved back home 800 miles away from me. We both agreed long distance wont work but we want to work on visiting one another and hopefully build into something bigger together. How can I go about keeping this wonderful girl around without pushing her away or losing her completely. I understand life happens and she can move on so can I but I at least don't want to give up on this one. | We met at school through a friend, fell hard for eachother spent lots of time together, did many things with eachother, and had a lot of great sex. She is now far away but I dont want to lose her |
t3_3dwev3 | relationships | I [29F] have been with my boyfriend [28M] for 7 years. His selfishness is really starting to get to me.. | I've been with him for 7 years, and I've always known he was selfish to a degree. He never has really ever considered my feelings about things. I've learned to ignore it for the most part because we do have a great relationship in pretty much every other aspect. Even the sex is still great.
Not too long ago I asked him if we could go to a movie together. He said no, as usual, and listed all the reasons he hated movie theaters. Loud guests, screaming kids, missing the movie if he has to get up to use the restroom, the cost. Usually he and I wait until something comes out and we can rent it on google play. It's enjoyable but sometimes I just want to go see something really special in a theater.
This weekend something HE wanted to see came out in theater and he asked me if I wanted to go to the movies. Thinking he'd finally agreed to go see what I had been asking to go see together I asked him what he had in mind. He then, of course, said what he wanted to see.
He can't seem to understand why I got upset with him over it. I honestly think he's incapable of seeing it through my point of view. He then makes me feel like a bitch because I try to tell him how he just made me feel and he gets very defensive and it ruins our whole weekend. | Boyfriend of 7 years is selfish at times and I don't know what to do about it sometimes... |
t3_3e9omc | tifu | TIFU by loving whipped cream too much | This particular fuck up happened a couple months ago. I was over at my buddies house having a good time. We were having a little get together and smoking some bud. After taking a couple rips i was feeling pretty baked and decided to raid his fridge. I saw a whipped cream canister and decided this would be the perfect solution to the cotton mouth I was experiencing. I noticed the cannister was almost empty and therefore it was my duty to finish it off. Red eyes half glazed over, I opened my mouth and filled it to the brim with delicious cold whipped cream. After 2 or 3 shots i offered it to my buddy for the remaining cream who then eplained that this particular can of whipped cream was his roommate's, and that his roommate bought it on his anniversary to get kinky with his girlfriend. He declined on the basis that this nozzle was most likely in or around his roommate's girlfriend's lady parts. | got stoned, ate whipped cream out of a tainted nozzle. |
t3_1zd2b1 | relationships | My depression is back, do I let my boyfriend know or let him go? [22F][26M](1 year) | We've been dating for slightly more than a year, and just recently had to start long-distance. I've previously had a few stints of depression, and they've been really bad. I was in a relationship during one of them, and it was horrible. My then-boyfriend decided to stick with me, and it hurt him so fucking much. And he stayed with me through the whole thing.
Basically, I don't want to do this to the guy I'm with now. He is a really good guy, and I love him a lot. If I were to tell him, I have no doubt he'd stick with me through it, but he doesn't know how bad it will be.
So my thinking was to break-up with him for something unrelated, which will hurt, but not as much as months of torture.
What do you think? | My depression is back, and I don't want to drag my boyfriend through the shitstorm a previous boyfriend went through. He and I are long-distance for now anyway, and I was considering breaking up with him for a made-up reason, which will hurt, but not as much as months of torture. Should I? |
t3_x1w40 | AskReddit | Reddit, there is a huge life decision that I need help with... and it's been bugging me for a few years. People around me aren't being helpful and I am not sure how much it will affect my future. I don't even know whether or not I am exaggerating, but please... help me make my mind about college. | I have seen so many people on this site that have gone through such decisions and are already starting internships, works and so on. I need advice from people around my age. Not adults that remember how they got in college in ancient times.
How much does my first college degree matter anyway? People I know studied to be engineers but ended up politicians. What do degrees prove in the end in the eyes of the HR department? | Can't choose college at all. It's really a good time to make my mind already, and nobody around me is helping.(My rating of how well I do in subjects at school might help you help me, haha...) |
t3_4gliuf | legaladvice | How to prove cohabitation? Ex-Wife [36F] moves in with her Fiancé [29F], but does not acknowledge it when asked. | [CA]
So here is the story. [Names changed, this is my anonymous account].
Me - Victor
Ex-Wife - Jecky
Fiancé - Lori
Last June (after 16 years together, 9 married) my wife notified me that she was a lesbian. Turns out her good lesbian friend Lori, was more than a friend. We proceeded to file for divorce, it was relatively amicable for most of the property devision. We were well off, and she walked away with about $250K plus 54 month of spousal support. The divorce went final on March 10.
Around end December 2015, she notified me of change of address. [she moved 90 miles] I checked out the address and it was a small two bedroom house located in another city where her GF Lori lived at the time. The new rent was $2200 for the house, while her old rent was about $1850 for the one bed room. I immediately suspected she moved in together with the new GF. I confronted her about it, and she basically brushed me off and told me that its irrelevant. Mid march she posted various engagement pictures on social media, but she is very careful to not post anything that could be used as proof for cohabitation.
Any attempt to bring back the subject of cohabitation and she simply does not respond.
So here is my question: What are inexpensive ways to prove cohabitation. [I know I can hire attorney and private investigator, etc.. but it all seems pretty expensive]
Key facts:
No debts
Ex-Wife makes $82K [Plus $1000 per month spousal] Has over $100K in the bank / net worth over $200K
I make $150K
Ex-Wife's new Fiancé - $45K | Ex wife [allegedly] moves in with GF, would not admit cohabitation. |
t3_s5s4v | AskReddit | What are some of your thoughts/stories/comments about marijuana? | The most obvious question (in the US, at least) is probably "Should it be legalized?" but I'd love to hear any personal opinions, anecdotes, and/or random comments. I'll start off:
I think if the goal of the US legal system is to be as just and freedom-harboring as possible, marijuana should at the very least be decriminalized. There are theories out there that say drug laws fuel the privatized prison-industrial complex, but I'm by no means well-versed enough on the topic to support or deny them (which is part of the reason I'm posting this; I want to learn). With all that said, I don't currently smoke. I had some fun times with weed back in the day, but by the time I quit it was causing too much anxiety to be enjoyable. Still, I completely respect anyone who regularly partakes, with the sole exception being those who find the need to vehemently force their beliefs on others (a thankfully rare occurrence). | I don't smoke but believe it should be legalized. What do you think? |
t3_1d17qf | AskReddit | What do you do when you feel hopeless? | So, I've been single for a long time. Partly due to the fact that I'm a little overweight, mostly due to the fact that I have no confidence at all. Anyway, being single for as long as I have been has made me feel really lonely. Recently, I finally worked up the confidence to ask a girl out. She said "maybe" and that she'd get back to me in a few days. All of my friends were telling me that she'd probably say yes and I got excited because I thought I had a shot at real happiness for the first time in a while. We had a 9 day vacation from school and I didn't hear from her. when we finally got back to school she pulled me aside at the end of the day and told me that the reason it took so long to give me an answer is because she was nervous about saying no. At first I was okay with that. She went home and I hung out with my friends for another hour and I felt fine. When I went home afterwards I started to feel awful. Now it's been three days and I have an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. It feels like I'll never have a chance at happiness again. I keep telling myself that it's not true, but I still can't shake this feeling. Any ideas? | I asked a girl out, got happy and hopeful that she'd say yes, she ended up saying no. Now I feel like I will never have happiness and I want to change that. |
t3_1c9ocb | relationships | I (17M) just met a really cool gal (16F) in January and everything seemed to be going amazingly well until this past Monday. | So I met her at a group I'm in that meets once a month. We seemed to really get along well. We started talking outside of the group, we had some video chats, and we went out on what I was sure at the time was a date. (We got milkshakes and went for a walk.)
This Monday our group took a trip and she was acting normal at first, but throughout the day she started acting less and less interested. I backed off thinking I was being annoying. By the end of the day she left without saying goodbye.
Now she takes a lot longer to respond to my messages and when she does the responses sometimes seem pretty curt. It blows my mind though, because everything seemed like it was going great! She even said that she wanted to ask me to prom (too late :( ).
I just don't get it. Sorry if this seems too much like a high school puppy love problem, but it's just been bugging me. I've never had a girlfriend so getting this close and it going wrong is frustrating. | things were going great, but now, seemingly without reason, they have gone downhill and I don't know what to do. |
t3_2gbaae | tifu | TIFU by trying to kill a wasp. | I recently trained for a job at the local park. It is really laid back, and easy money.
Today I was working mini-golf. At the time only about 3 groups had shown up so far so I started browsing reddit to pass the time.
When I got to about the eighth page of TIL, I wasp the size of my thumb (I shit you not.) flew into my office. Attempting to eliminate the threat as soon as possible (Very allergic), I grabbed the nearest bottle of bug spray and attempted to drown the insect in bug spray.
I ultimately triumphed over the wasp, it's poor dead body curled up on the floor. After having celebrated I looked around the room. The whole place had the glisten of about three layers of bug spray. Every wall, window, paper on the desk, were covered in bug spray.
As I noticed this my boss walked in. She said nothing, looked around the room, and took all of the bug spray cans out of the office.
[ | ] I tried to kill a wasp and covered the room in bug spray. |
t3_gg0fq | AskReddit | car advice | I just bought a car that has 48,000 miles on it. However, the title says it has 209,000 miles on it due to a clerical error. I had it checked out by a mechanic, and the title is clearly incorrect: the car only has 48,000 miles on it. The problem is the original owner of the car is half a state away, lives in an assisted living facility, does not speak English, and I can't get in contact with her or sign her out of the assisted living facility if I could. Her grandson sold the car to me and tried 3 times to get the title ready for sale before she got it passable. I talked to the DMV about clearing up this clerical error, and they told me to send her a certified letter with the forms and go to court to get it changed if she does not respond back. This will take about a month, and I need the car to be legally drivable ASAP. Does anyone have any advice as to how I can remedy this situation? | Original owner old non English speaking woman who messed up tilte at DMV after paying off car loan. |
t3_1ci4ex | AskReddit | What are some of your experiences with very rude kids (8th grade and below, preferably)? | I was working out at the gym today, and I was kindly given permission by the gym owner to plug in my iPhone into the stereo system. The gym owner's son (looks like a 6th grader) comes out of no where, looks at my iPhone and started to asked out loud, "who this plugged into?" I assumed he was asking who's iPhone is plugged into the stereo, and so I told him that it was mine. He replied immediately and with a very smart remark, "you don't got no headphones or nothin'?" And I told him no, they broke. And he walked away rolling his eyes and shaking his head. Pissed me off a little, but I shook it off and got back to weight training. | At the gym, and I got smart-assed by a little kid about my iPhone being plugged in the stereo. |
t3_2zu992 | relationships | [23 M] and lost on how to form a quality relationship? Need some advice and feedback | This is kind of a rant but I need to see if anyone else browsing on here has been or is in a similar situation as me.
I just turned 23 and really crawled out of a deep depressing hole over the past couple of years and am feeling better than ever. I lost nearly 100 lbs and gained some serious muscles and a improved physique, got a great full time job and a new car, improved a bad situation with my family and basically just shed a lot of prior hang ups holding me back from a romantic relationship in general.
That being said I can't help but feel the damage has already been done...I have no sexual or romantic experience to speak of and my self esteem is still shaky at best despite my improved health and confidence. I am not nervous or intimated by women however I am not confident in showing interest in women if that makes sense? I live in the suburbs and along with that I work the evening shift with a all male workforce on a daily basis I almost NEVER see women my age other than the drive thru lol.
My hobbies are all quite masculine and extreme so I tend not to see any females doing them either. I enjoy boxing, lifting, gaming, guns, cars and motorcycles and don't frequent many places that I consider negative additions to my life such as bars or clubs or even church for that matter. I'm quite introverted but not shy, confident but distant, and my lifestyle is getting lonely and secluded and it is starting to take it's toll.
So has anyone ever experienced this situation? Give me some advice on where to meet and how to approach some women around my age. | Inexperienced and confused suburban guy looking for some advice on how to get started forming a quality relationship with a woman. |
t3_37djpa | jobs | Giving notice to my current employer before I found out the start date for my new job. Is this wise? | So I got an amazing job offer last week and accepted it. I have a meeting set up with the new company on Friday (May 29th) to discuss my start date and benefits. I've been told I would probably start the week of June 15th, but an exact date hasn't been chosen. I have no reason to believe the offer will be rescinded. I got the job with the help of a recruiter, and all 3 of us (recruiter and new COO) have been in constant contact since the offer. I even got a "Welcome to your new firm" email from the COO. I'm not worried about giving notice and then not having a job.
THIS is my dilemma: I would selfishly like a few days off in between jobs. I need some time to decompress, take my car to the mechanic (I don't want to drive into my new job with a squeaky fan belt), get a haircut, and make the best impression possible on my first day. I've been planning on giving my boss 2 weeks' notice tomorrow (Wednesday) so that my last day would be a Wednesday and I have a couple of days off. But my gut is telling me to wait until after the Friday meeting to give notice. I could always negotiate a Wednesday start date if I really want some time off, or just forget the time off altogether. Plus, it's always better to quit on a Friday. But if I stick to my guns and go for the time off, I think it's better to inconvenience my current boss than to start off on the wrong foot with a new employer by requesting a later start date. The worst that could happen is that I'd have more time off than I panned for, which would be unpaid but not a problem.
So what do you think? What would you do in my situation? Wiser to have a firm start date before giving notice? | I want some time off in between jobs and the easiest way to accomplish this would be to give my employer notice on a Wednesday so that I would have Thursday and Friday off before I start the new job. But my gut it telling me to wait until I find out the start date to give notice, even it means forgoing the time off. What would you do? |
t3_1kicnl | relationships | (28F) Not sure whether to continue my relationship with (29M) or move on with my life | I've been with the same guy for several years (6+) now, and I have a feeling our relationship may be coming to an end. I went from being bitter and resentful about my long-term relationship not turning into a marriage, to just really not caring anymore. I feel like if he was going to marry me, he would have already done so.
Was I wrong for wanting to know if he wanted to commit to me for the rest of his life? If he doesn't I feel like I should move on instead of continuing to stagnate in this relationship.
I want to get married and eventually start a family. I know people will probably say we should just talk about it, but we have talked about it, and the conversations have gone nowhere. Eventually, I end up dropping it and it comes up again in a few months. I am so tired of going through this cycle.
I am comfortable and afraid to leave this relationship. Afraid of what I might miss out with on him, but also tired of waiting around for something to happen.
In the meantime, I am wondering if I even want to marry him anymore... | Long-term relationship has yet to turn to marriage and I am tired of it. |
t3_ol6pa | relationships | Is passion really so important, or is love and comfort enough? | I am a 27 year old female who has been in a relationship with a man of the same age going on 5 years. He is an amazing friend and takes great care of me, but I rarely feel any passion for him.
We have been trying very hard to work out some past infidelity on my part, and drug abuse on both our parts. (We are clean now). I've been questioning if I really love him, or if I even understand what love is. If I could hurt him so many times...then I just don't know. But he really really wants to stay together.
I do like being with him overall, but I always feel like somethings not right. And it's on my end.
I also have issues with depression, so I don't even know if this is the relationship, or if it is all in my head. I am in counseling. Whenever I bring up my relationship issue with the counselor, he hardly helps. I was hoping reddit might have some thoughts that could. | Lack of passion for boyfriend, but still love. Past drug issues, infidelity, depression etc. Continually flip flopping on whether to stay or go. |
t3_11jzqz | AskReddit | Probably asked every-week, but here we go. What is the most awkward thing you almost got caught doing? (NSFW) | I'll just start us off, this happened just a few ours ago. Keep in mind i am gay(19) and out to my mom. So me and this hot guy i met we're chatting on skype and jacking off and just chatting(both our mics are messes up) so i had already finished and shot a huge load like at least a tablespoons worth, so he asks to see my ass. Being a gentleman i comply and show him, and to make it hotter whip my spunk off on my own ass. Then my mom knocks on the door, so let me set the scene up I'm on my bed with my ass covered in jizz facing the computer screen while another man is jacking off. Mind you, their was also some jizz on my bedspread as well. So anyways my mom knocks, and i freeze and shout "what is it? Don't come in" Then i thought i heard my mom say"Do come in?" and i almost shat myself. But i just scream no, do not enter. "What is it?" "Just thought I'd let you know i added some money to your debit account for gas money, that's all" "thanks mom, i'll fill up the tank tomorrow" "k,don't stay up to late". So reddit do you think you can top that? Also how obvious do you think it was that i was camming? | almost got caught nude covered in spunk showing my ass on cam to another guy, by my mom |
t3_3oaf9e | askwomenadvice | Is it wrong to compliment a strangers appearance at a social gathering? | Bit of background:I went to a social gathering recently and you were required to get dressed up.
I show up just like everybody in required formal wear. I walk in and there is a women standing there in things like a dress, heels, jewelry, hair done, makeup, etc. Very beautiful and stunning. I felt like saying something to her and telling her she looks nice. Not sexual like nice tits or what a great ass you have.
Even though she was very beautiful, I didnt want to make her feel uncomfortable by receiving a compliment from a stranger
Would you be creeped out by being told you are beautiful or look nice at a social event from a stranger? | Questioning complimenting a woman who was absolutely beautiful at a social event, would it be right, even though they are a stranger technically? |
t3_2c340g | relationships | I'm [23 M] sleeping with a [23 F] tinder friend for 5 Months. When are we considered Boyfriend/Girlfriend? | Hi Reddit.
I'm not sure whether or not I'm in a relationship or just a fuck buddy. Personally I'd like to be in the latter, but I'm quite terrible with guaging where the relationship is at so I was hoping to get your feedback.
Met this girl on tinder. Have gone out on very sporatic dates (like dinner).
Usually she just comes over around 9 or 10 PM and we just have sex all night long. She leaves first thing in the morning. That's usually how it works.
Recently though I think I have changed the dynamic of the relationship. She had invited me for a hike and now I get this feeling we are a couple. She kept bringing up the fact we have been hanging out for 5 months and made a crack like "oh your other girlfriends" in a passing statement.
I have never called this girl my girlfriend or discussed our relationship with her beyond us saying we are fuck buddies. | Fucking a girl for 5 months. Not sure if we're still fuck buddies or actually in a relationship. What do you think? |
t3_17v344 | relationship_advice | My (20/f) best friend, who i thought was gay, just told me she has feelings for (21/m)e. | We've been best friends going on two years now, and we have previously had discussions about a future together (Nothing to hint at how much she felt about me, basically just the ol' marriage pact at 40 dealio type thing) but then earlier tonight she sent me the following message:
>"For months now with everything going with mum and the rest of my dramas. From the day I talked to you about how I felt, I have tried so hard to get over it and convince myself that I'm gay. I dressed like a boy, I acted like a boy, I forced myself to fall in love with someone I didn't really like, all because I was petrified about going against what I had portrayed myself to be for so long. Half the reason I broke up with Nicole is because I want to end up with someone else, and that's you, even if you don't feel the same, it wasn't fair on her. I wrapped myself so deep in all my family drama etc to try and distract myself but i can't hide it anymore I don't think. I don't mind if you don't want to be with me but if you have even the slightest small teenie bit of feeling toward me, let me know, because I will wait for a really long time if I have to. Otherwise I need to get over it. You are the only male that has made me swing and I can't see there being another."
I think i always knew there was something more here, but i'm unsure how i feel about her... It's certainly something, and i know i did have feelings for her when we first became friends but I've always pushed them to the side, never believing anything could come from it and moved on. Now im just really confused. Im seeing her tomorrow to talk about it some more but any advice you could offer whether from experience with a similar situation or just anything at all would be a god send. Thanks, Reddit. | my lesbian best friend has fallen in love with me and wants to spend the rest of her life with me, i used to like her but i got over it and now im really confused about what to do. |
t3_2xgcg7 | tifu | TIFU by saying an Anchor Man quote | Its not so much a bad one, but I'm still cringing from it. I competed in a first aid competition for the first time (and I think the last) which sees you with a partner walk into a scenario of actors with weird injuries and ailments. I was told that you start with a patient, and then more come in as the scenario runs... no biggy. My partner told me to take lead on it as whilst she is competent, the judges make her nervous.... all good. So we start, 2 people tied together at the ankle with fake bones protruding and blood etc, we're handling it pretty good until the rest of the patients come sprinting in to the room with a lot of screaming, fake babies and just chaos. Without looking away from the "bleeding" person in front of me I said (I didn't realise I said it initially and then to the volume of which I said it) "well that escalated quickly" only to turn around to find not only my partner at odds trying to laugh, but half the patients as well. I think I decided we were pretty gone after that and what I ended up saying to patients didn't get any better. | Killed tension in a bad way with a quote |
t3_347izu | relationships | Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] dated for 5 months. I just broke up with her because of a disagreement, was I right? | Me and this girl were dating for about 5 months when we hit a wall dealing with sex. We actually had several disagreements about it... She didn't like making out, only wanted to have sex on a bed, didn't want to do any kind of experimentation, and the last straw, causing the argument, she only wanted to have sex once or twice a month. She even wanted to be able to have have sex with more than one guy while with me. (We had lots of sex in the beginning. It slowly became less and less.)
I talked with her about an open relationship and said that I didn't want to do it. I wasn't used to that idea. She agreed to be only with me, but after the break she said there where times she could have fucked other guys. Implying I should appreciate it.
Which, of course, I don't. She agreed to be in a monogamous relationship. I'm not giving her points for keeping up with that.
She said she only wanted to have sex once or twice a month, and I wanted to have sex... almost every day.
During the argument I said to her that I'd be willing to work with her on this, and she said that she is not willing to change.
So I broke up with her.
My buddy said she's selfish. He asked if she grew up with both parents. She didn't. He said that its common for people who didn't to have trouble with relationships.
Which makes sense. Maybe she doesn't know how to have a relationship.
The way I see it, I chose the relationship, and she chose herself. I knew if she chose herself once she would do it again, and I would hate being with someone like that.
Was I in the right for breaking up with her for that reason? Should I expect my SO to be able to work out major issues with me? Or should I get used to how a person is and be able to live with them despite our differences? | A relationship will have disagreements. Should I hold it against someone if they refuse to deal with them? |
t3_4kk4y0 | personalfinance | Borrowing student loans to pay SO student loans | Hello PF friends,
I have spent a good deal of time on here and have learned a lot through both the sidebar information and from what others have posted and I'm coming here for a question that I haven't seen/heard of before.
I am currently attending school for a degree in Game Design. I plan on graduating in December. For some reason I have requested or been allowed to take out more money for loans than what I need, around $10,000 worth and these are just sitting around in uncashed checks. My significant other (SO) has 10k in student loan debt and has finished school. Her interest rate is 4.0% and the interest rate on the funds I took out are also at 4.0%. Is there any logic to using that money to pay off her loans and then use her monthly payment to put towards my loan? I will have $35,000 in loans when I finish.
Unrelated but since people may ask about why I'm considering this; we are getting married this fall and have more or less combined a significant amount of our resources already. | Can I use my student loan money to pay off SO's student loan debt? |
t3_35klak | tifu | TIFU by forgetting how to control my volume (NSFW) | This screw up happened last Monday but I couldn't post until the weekend.
For several years now I have wanted to be a sub but I have had trouble finding someone locally that I trusted with that kind of power so I gave up on the notion. Until just a couple of weeks ago when I found a dom in Australia. We met through Reddit and after a lot of thought, research, and conversations I asked if he would be my first dom. He agreed and immediately gave me a task.
It wasn't anything difficult, I called him via Skype so he could instruct me and he could hear if I obeyed him. He ordered me to play with myself. I obliged and after that stopped thinking. I let go and just did as I was told. I finished and I have to say, it was one of the best orgasms ever.
The next day I went home during my lunch break and my mother (yes I live with my parents, long story) asked if there was anything I needed while she and my dad ran some errands. I said no, I couldn't think of anything so she asked again, this time making a point of telling me that they were going to the local adult toy store. I started to make a flippant remark about needing a new chain for my vibrator but that the hardware store had them cheaper in the chainsaw section when it hit me: she heard everything I did. My DAD heard everything I did. Fuuuuuccckkk. It didn't occur to me that they could hear me. They never heard my conversations before, even the provocative ones. I closed my mouth, which had been hanging open for a good ten seconds, and told her I should probably keep my mouth shut on that one. I chuckled, my dad chuckled, mom chuckled. I no longer have conversations like that with my dom when they are home. I still obey him in the tasks I am given, but I make sure he knows when I'm alone now. | Gave away all control, should have kept some on my volume. |
t3_xsdpk | relationships | Girlfriend of about a month just told me she has memory loss. Will this be a problem down the road? | This girl (F 20), and I (M20), have been dating for a couple months, and just made it official boyfriend-girlfriend about a month ago. She just yesterday told me she has memory loss, a result of a car accident a couple years ago. She said it ranges from not remembering her childhood memories to not remembering what she had to eat or what she wore yesterday.
Obviously, she still remembers me. She and I have a lot in common, and she's really easy-going. She and I agree on a lot of things, and when we discuss most things that are touchy for most people, we find it easy to discuss them with each other and often agree on the subjects.
But, this makes me wonder about the future. I just wonder how this will affect our relationship as we progress. For instance, if we have any issues, I think I will wonder if she will remember what we discussed about it the day prior. I have not had any experience with this, as we have not had any fights or disputes yet.
Do you guys think this will be a problem? Should I bring it up preemptively? Or should I wait until an issue comes up, and figure it out then? I'm not extremely worried about it--I've just never had a girlfriend with memory loss before, and I don't know how to approach it if anything were to come up. I'm perfectly comfortable with it, I just don't want it to potentially create any problems down the road, and I want other people's opinions on it.
A preemptive thanks for the help, everyone. | Girlfriend has memory loss, and I don't know if it will create problems down the road for us. |
t3_3g028w | relationships | Am I (24f) being paranoid about my BF's (24m) new friend? | So my boyfriend of 7 months has been getting closer to one of his coworkers, we'll call her S. A few weeks ago, they went out to a bar and met up with S's boyfriend, T. I wasn't invited to go, but I had to be up early the next morning, anyway. A few days later, my BF and I are catching up, talking about how each other's weeks have been so far and he tells me how much fun he had with S and T the other night. I've never met them before, but he tells me S is bisexual and hints at the fact that she is in an open relationship with T. Then he starts talking about how S and T were showing him pics of them having sex at the bar, you know.. Because of how open they are with each other. I pause and ask him if he thinks they are interested in him (my BF). He laughs and says no way.. But then tells me that he got too drunk to drive home and ended up staying up until 6am talking and crashing at their place. I tell him that it's kinda strange and that I definitely wouldn't want him sharing sexy pics of us to other people, especially not someone at work. I didn't push it because I didn't want to seem overly paranoid, and maybe it meant nothing? Still weird, though.
Fast forward to last night when I realized I left my work uniform at his place. Crap, I work at 6am.. I need to run over to his apartment, so I call him. No answer. I text him and explain I need to swing by and he replied that he wasn't home. I said oh, ok.. Will you be home anytime soon? He said no. I will admit that I was curious at this point, so I asked where he was. He tells me he's at the bar but his roommate is there, so I can run over and grab my stuff.
When I get to his apartment, his roommate told me that he went to the bar with S. I wonder why he didn't tell me. All of those paranoid feelings come flooding back. Is it wrong of me to feel uncomfortable with this new friendship? | BF's female friend from work showed him sexual photos of her and her BF. I'm wondering if I should let this bother me or let it go. |
t3_2u6eul | relationship_advice | Most of my best friends have been gay but I'm not. How do I go about finding straight friends? | Hi there, I'm a straight Asian teenager. I guess you could say I'm attractive although I've had very low self esteem up until recently. For some reason, a lot of my friends have definitely been romantically interested in me, when I talk to them now it becomes blatantly obvious. The real question is, how do I show that I'm not interested in a relationship and go about finding new straight friends? It feels like everyone is attracted to me and being surrounded by these people my whole life has definitely effected the way I act. I don't really know where to begin, being a stoner for these many years has really messed me up. I'm very interested in body language so if there's any tell tale signs that anyone knows! This experience has given me some pretty bad trust issues, almost every single one of my best friends has shown me porn or something else and I just want to have friends who I know are straight as reassurance. It's not that I'm afraid of being gay, I'm pretty sure I'm not but it just kinda makes me feel uncomfortable to think that almost everyone I ever trusted was romantically interested in me at one point and it's really screwed up my perspective on the world and with my logic. So how do I find straight people?
Sorry for spelling mistakes I'm tired and it's been a long day | Most of my best friends were gay, how do I act uninterested in guys without being rude and find new, straight friends? |
t3_fzb4a | AskReddit | I hate myself for succumbing to Senioritis. Any ideas on how to stay focused in school? | My GPA dropped by half a point already, and it's getting harder and harder to stay focused. I know I'm kidding myself when I say, "it's okay, everyone has senioritis," but I find myself pushing off work as long as possible. I used to get things done right away. I'm the guy who goes home and does his homework (after a quick snack) right away, and then waists time on reddit for the rest of the night. But lately, I play games on my laptop in school, say "fuck that (yao ming face)" to almost ALL of my work, and I haven't exercised in weeks. I've only just realized that I started doing this after I failed my recent chemistry test. I had an A fall term and I'm barely getting a B now. I'm in the same situation with math and biology. But english and spanish are the same (I guess those are the easier classes).
I'm not asking for life-hacks (I still apply many of those daily), just a couple guidelines to get my act together, and buckle down and start being a good student again. | How do you stay focused during study time? And how do you prevent yourself from procrastinating? (sorry if that's confusing) |
t3_2m95ep | tifu | TIFU by telling a Nazi joke to my Jewish teacher | Alright so per usual with most TIFU posts, this happened when I was halfway through sophomore year of high school.
I was just getting back from lunch and I was going to chemistry.
Me and 5 or 6 of my friends usually get there about 5 mins before the teacher does. Us being high school dipshits, we decide to screw with our teacher.
This teacher loved us. We were always the funny kids in the class, and she'd always joke around with us.
Now we've made a few offensive jokes in class before but she's never really gotten mad at us as long as they weren't really too inappropriate.
We decide it would be a good idea to make this joke huge. We got the ENTIRE class (like 20 or so people) to stand up and raise their right hand in the air like they were saluting to Hitler. All the while I'm speaking German-sounding gibberish.
The teacher walks in. She saw ALL OF US sieg heil-ing. The look on her face was one of amazement and disgrace at the same time. Her jaw dropped to the floor so hard the ground shook.
She FLIPS out. She said that if the person who was the leader of all this didn't come up, everyone would get suspended. Now this teacher has never even given out a detention before. It was like all the rage in her body came out at that exact moment. Anyway, I was scared shitless. Naturally, my friend rats me out.
Turns out she's Jewish. I get taken down to the office and I sit through 2 HOURS of how offensive this is (which it is). I told her I felt horrible and then she said that my sorrow was nothing compared to the holocaust victims.
She retired the next year and went to our rival school. I got suspended for 2 weeks btw. | I pretended to be Hitler in front of my Jewish teacher. |
t3_w6pf8 | relationships | What to do with my possibly bipolar girlfriend? | Im M-27 and she F-30 been together 3 years. So, this week my parents came into town (about an 8 hr drive away), and this led to shit getting real weak on the girlfriend side. Basically she was super rude and non cooperative, even though she knew how important spending time with my parents was to me. The rudeness culminated in her not saying bye to my parents and basically throwing a huge fit(in front of my parents and sister)because she didn't want me to drive an hour out of the way to meet with more family before they jumped back on the road and headed home. This led to
my Mom leaving crying and then my girlfriend freaking out and threatening to kill herself. Now I'm at home super pissed/bummed and wondering what the reddit community thinks... | My girlfriend was rude to my parents while visiting from far away,culminated in her making suicide threats. |
t3_53gqjf | relationships | My (F/21) mother (48) keeps invalidating my experiences by always talking about how she has it worse. | I've been very depressed lately and I'm currently seeing a counsellor at my college. A lot of my depression comes from my dyslexia which some times makes me feel like I'm bad at my studies. Since it is nearing the end of the semester, I have a lot of work due. Whenever I say something to my mother about how I feel tired or stresses, she invalidates my feelings by saying that she has it much harder than me so I should shut up. I just want to know what I can say when she pulls this shit on me. It's so infuriating. | I'm going through a hard time with my studies and whenever I express my concerns, my mother tells me that she has it much worse than me. What can I say to that will make her be more sensitive? |
t3_cgbmf | dogs | Ok stumped ... can not figure out who forget they are house broken. | I have 5 dogs total. 3 are mine and 2 are the roommates. Mine are all around 3ish and hers are around 1ish. Up until about 2 weeks ago they were all doing great, no accidents, still a few issues about what to chew and was was not a chew toy but getting better.
So four weeks ago when all 5 pups were out in the backyard for their morning break one of them ran headlong into the section of fence and it gave way and they were off to the races. They had a grand adventure I am sure but after they got all rounded up and the fence issue sorted out someone seems to have forgotten they are house broken. Only alteration to the routine was the fact that I was now outside the whole time and would not let them be out there alone since there are a few weak spots I want to fix before they get to play alone again.
Now someone is having accidents if they are not let out every 2.5 hours or so but I can not figure out who. They always go to the door and poop and pee there. But if I watch who goes to that area I will find poop and pee in the hall way. I guess cause they know when I caught them pooping and peeing in the house I corrected them.
When we put them in our room overnight like always there was a huge pile of poo and a ton of pee. It got so bad that the we had to start crating them at night. I don't think its an issue like an infection because crated they will stay though the night with no accidents. So short of bumping up the geek cred and getting a wireless camera how can I tell who is having the problem? | have 5 dogs and can't catch the one(s) who is pooping and peeing in the house. |
t3_2h8kfh | personalfinance | Credit card has been paying on ghost account? | Hello everyone. Here is the situation I am in and I was wondering if anyone could give me some insight on what is going on.
I have had a Citi credit card since 2012. It has an auto-pay set up for the minimum amount so I wouldn't forget payments using a checking account from First TN. I can say with 95% confidence that I have closed said checking account in ~2013. However, the auto has been going out using First TN for the past 1+ years and since I am a student, I never have had more than $500 in the checking account so it doesn't make sense that my Citi minimum payments have been going out for that long even if I didn't close my account. Also, I am 100% sure I took off overdraft protection so there is no possibility that First TN account has been overdrafting.
I am wondering if anyone had any ideas on what is going on until I can get to a First TN branch to see what is going on. Also, if I go to the branch and ask them if there is any accounts under my SSN and they tell me there isn't, what repercussions are possible if I kept paying the Citi CC with my ghost First TN account? | CC autopaying off a checking account I have closed. |
t3_1m7gvx | relationships | [23m] saw my ex today, got too scared to even say hello yet I can't stop thinking about her... | We dated for 3 months half a year ago (my first gf), she went away on a trip for 2 months, and told me it was over when she came back and moved away for the summer.
Even though it was this long ago I still cant stop thinking about her. I texted her a few weeks ago and she told me we would be going to the same school, and thats where I saw her today. She was looking down when I walked by her and even though I've been hoping for the moment to say somthing I got way too scared to say anything and walked away.
I cant understand why I cant let it go and realize that its over and move on. I work/school full time and go to the gym almost everyday just to keep busy because I know any free moment I have I will think about her.
The first two weeks of school have been hell just knowing that she is here in the same spot as me. At least when she was away I knew there was nothing I could do about it but now all I think about is finding her and trying to talk to her. Does anyone even know what I should say or do to just contact her...
Im starting to think about seeking therapy or somthing now because theres no way this is healthy... I've never even thought it was possible to be this hung up on a girl before... | Saw my ex and was too scared to say hi, don't know what to do because I cant stop thinking about her and its ruining my life... |
t3_4nwen7 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my Friend [20F] of 3 years, and her boyfriend [19M] who is extremely condescending | So, First off Im using a throwaway because my friend knows my main account
So, me and my girlfriend [20F], Alex (made up), were going to our equivalent to high school called 6th form, there we met two great friends Joe [20M] and Jane [20m], this was about 3 years ago.
Now i considered these people my best friends and in some regards still do. I went to uni and Joe, is training to become a pilot whilst Jane is studying in an other school (i think its called a trade school).
There she met Martin [19M], after a while they started dating, now i knew Martin before, he wasn't a nice guy to be around but Jade said he changed, and so i believed her, and for her sake i thought i'd at least give him a chance.
He was a bit overweight when he was younger nothing serious, now he worked out and become really fit and obsessed with gym. Good Luck to him i have no problem with that. The problem is now his ego went through the roof he acts as if he is better than anyone else, and this was evident when talking to him.
Now i was always a skinny guy quite underweight actually, but as i grew i ate more and gained weight and i am in a healthy weight. Now i was never proud of myself but weight was never a concern of mine.
About a week ago i met Martin on the bus, and he said i gained weight, and said i look "chubby". Now i do exercise a bit, not to the extent he does but i do make a effort. After he said im chubby he said he couldn't believe i work out, not in a surprised manner but a mocking one. He went on to subtly mock me and how fat i am.
Now i have no trouble cutting him out of my life, the issue is with Jane, she would like to meet up ofc, but she wants Martin to come along. What can i do? | Best friend has condescending boyfriend not comfortable being around, what do i do? |
t3_39zxkr | tifu | TIFU My relationship Today | A little backstory, I recently (today) asked out a girl ive been chillen with for quite some time. Casual sitting on the couch, watching a scary movie, we get close, "Hey bb wanna go out with me". Que the kiss and "Yes". I was so happy and nothing that would happen for the rest of the night could take me off my hormone fueled high. Fast forward 3 hours later we are at her house hanging out, watching Jersey Shore for some reason, and its already 9:40 pm. Oh shit its probably a good time to start heading home before parents file a god damn missing person report. We begin walking towards the door, kiss and i start heading towards the entrance. Here's the fuck up. Out of pure instinct for whatever god damn reason the universe saw fit. I said "k bye love you" On the first god damn Date! Why!?!? At that moment of shame as i walked to my car I could only imagine the thoughts going through her head. " WTF? Why did this creep say I love you on the first night! Im never talking to him again."
Guys i fucked up. | I may have fucked my relationship on its first day of existence. |
t3_38tpr9 | tifu | TIFU by knocking my friend out with a cuddly toy | Ok, this one is a little strange, but here we go:
My friend was moving from her small 1 bedroom house to live with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend is away from town at a business conference, so she asked me round to help her move the larger items of furniture (sofa, table, etc). So I'm stood at the top of the stairs and am passing cushions down to her when I come across a cuddly bear. I ask her what it is and she replies 'Oh it's a teddy my boyfriend gave me that says things'. So I immediately press its paw and it starts to say things like 'I love you' and 'You're the best'. She laughs and asks me to pass it to her, and this is where it all goes wrong.
I throw it down the stairs to her, but I forget that talking teddies always have those little plastic boxes with the speaker and batteries inside them. So it smacks her on the head (bearing in mind I was big on sport in college and am a very strong thrower) and she drops like a stone. I start to panic and run down the stairs, only to find her lying there with a large bruise on her forehead. I'm not good with medical emergencies, so I just sit there for 5 seconds until she opens her eyes and slowly sits up. It turns out she was perfectly fine and she has forgiven me but I feel terrible. I will never throw a talking toy down the stairs again. | Threw a talking toy downstairs and knocked my friend out |
t3_53yr3f | relationships | My wife (22 F) has a higher sex drive than me (23 M) and it's putting stress on our relationship | Hi guys. Never thought I'd be posting here. My fiance and I have been together for 4 years and will be getting married in 6 months. We both finished school and moved away together, first time moving out of oh parents house. Everything has been awesome except my libido has dropped back to where it used to always be. She has a very high drive, and wants to make love a few times a day whole I'm okay with a few times a week. I think this was less noticeable before because we went to schools far away from each other and only got to see each other every other weekend, so mine "built up" I guess.
Anyway, it's creating a lot of stress here. We love living together but hate the new town we moved to and hate our jobs. For her, sex is a release and helps her with stress, while for me the stress dampens my libido even more.
I'm so tired from work and the constant job search (we want to move back to our hometown but the job market is awful there) and I'm trying to enjoy myself in other ways but sex drive is something I just can't fake.
I feel awful. She's not being over powering or rude at all. She's so sweet and I love her so much. We have talked a few times but it only ever ends with her crying and me feeling awful, which is so weird for us (We never used to fight). We never yell, just talk but never come to a real conclusion.
Is something wrong with me? I hate making her feel this way. I appreciate any of your advice. Thank you guys. | wife has a much higher sex drive than me. What do I do? * |
t3_336l3s | relationships | Me [29 F] with my ex [30 M] of two years, feeling guilty about our breakup | My ex and I broke up in december....and continued on-off for about two months. Honestly it was a super messy break up, with each of us being confused about if it was the right thing.
I wanted to be nice and polite, and even be friends with him someday. But as messy as if was, I said some things I really regret and I don't think I treated him well. I hope I haven't left him wounded or made his life worse. We are now no contact and I feel more sane/grounded, but I'm been thinking and regreting how I treated him.
How do I deal with this guilt/apologize without dragging both of us back into this on-off relationship and emotional rollercoaster? | Ex and I had an 'emotional rollercoaster' and on-again off-again breakup. I said some things I regret. How do I make amends and make sure he's okay without bringing back our chaotic dynamic? |
t3_f9ozi | AskReddit | I'm by far the youngest person in my office, how do I bond with my much older peers? | Started a new job, and I'm fresh out of college and way, way younger than anyone else working there... I believe the next youngest person is 29-30...
I feel like I don't have much in common with my co-workers, most of whom are married and have kids, grandkids even....
I spend my weekends getting drunk, taking bong rips, and playing videogames with my friends, and I don't quite know what to make of these responsible adult peers....
I've always worked among lots of older folks, but its always been in an "intern/student worker/help desk" kind of way, in which there was inherent boundaries to the relationship in the first place.... Now I don't quite know what to do... | I'm young and my co-workers are old, how do I make friends? |
t3_3drc67 | relationships | Want to know if I [21M] have a shot at fixing my relationship with my girlfriend [22F] | I know it's a dumb overasked question but I just wanted a couple candid responses.
So this starts over a year ago. Me and my girlfriend had only been dating for a couple weeks and I was uncertain about how serious I was about it. I end up going to a very ratchet house party and I get very drunk and start dancing with this girl. We make out a little (terrible I know) and then I go home with my friends after we exchange numbers (again, yes, terrible). We text back and forth for a day and she tells me to come over. Me being dumb and horny I agree (I am the worst). We fool around on the couch, but when it comes down to doing the deed, I have a mental freakout. I decide I want to get serious about my girlfriend, so I get the hell out and I don't text her again.
Fast forward to several days ago. I have a separate different female friend who I used to hang out with a lot, but it made my girlfriend uncomfortable so I stopped. She texts me asking if i want to go to her house for a party which I agree to. I did not tell my girlfriend. She finds out and gets angry, but we make up and I think things will be OK.
Then the other day she's looking through my phone. Now I had deleted those text messages, but they were over Google voice, so after backing up my phone a while ago they get restored. She reads them. She's devastated because just when she thought she could trust me this happens.
Now she's blocked me on my phone and facebook. I get that she's completely in the right on this, but I also feel like I'm a completely different person than I was a year ago. Think I have a shot at taking me back, or has too much damage been done? | I fooled around with a girl when me and my girlfriend first started dating, she finds out a year and a half later, shit unfolds predictably. |
t3_1njv9e | relationships | [23 M] Going from relationships to casual fun | So recently I had to break it off with a girl I was seeing because we wanted different things. I wanted a relationship and she wanted to just have fun. The thing is I've only been in relationships before and never explored the realm of casual sex/ friends with benefits. I don't know how well I could do in that type of relationship (I'd get jealous/pissed if I saw her hooking up with another guy) but the more and more I think about it a serious relationship would be a major strain on my life... but god damn I want to get laid.... Anyone out there have similar experiences? How did it go? | I've only been in monogamous relationships but want to try friends with benefits...except I know I'm a sensitive and jealous dude. |
t3_19r65w | dating_advice | How do I stop running away from this woman who likes me? | I'm a 27m, I'm not sure how old she is; probably a year or two younger than I am.
For the sake of anonymity, we'll say I do slam poetry in bars. There's a really gorgeous woman who has started doing slam poetry recently. I think she likes me; she's gone out of her way to talk to me and I've caught her sneaking glances at me.
I have this tendency to play it really cool around women I like. So much so that I usually become friends with them before making any moves. I won't talk to cute girls on the bus, and I've been on a couple of dates with women where it goes nowhere because I probably am just not showing enough interest. On the other hand, I'm petrified of doing this, because I used to fall for girls hard, ask them out point-blank, then alienate them with how eager I was. Also part of my reluctance is seeing how many guys creep on women and I get this feeling of "this woman is probably bothered by men all the time, everywhere she goes. Why does she need one more bugging her?"
So the other night I was talking to this same woman, and I got her number. And then I went home. Right in the middle of the slam poetry event. Things were going fine, but I had to flee. I feel so dumb for this. I think she's a bit out of my league, but she certainly is giving me her attention.
So I guess I need advice in this situation, and just in general when it comes to this. I know I'm pretty good looking, funny, cool, really nice and empathetic. | I'm too chicken to actually express that I like a woman and clam up when I know I like someone. What are some ways I can sorta test the waters? |
t3_g1fxi | GetMotivated | Motivation for (self-directed) learning. | I passed out of high school last year with really bad grades in everything but languages and CS, basically because I did nothing but read and program the last two years. Over the past year, as I studied in preparation for college I've realised that a lot of subjects I used to consider completely useless back in school now fascinate me. Maths and physics are two of them. Now, whenever I try to get some work done and come across a nice theorem, or a question, or derivation which is not immediately clear to me, but on reading ahead is clear as day, I immediately feel like a complete dumbass. I look around and see people doing so much better than me, who know a shit ton more than me - I realise that I am average. This immediately kills any drive I have for learning further. I just feel "meh, I'm probably too dumb to get any of this stuff - hell, I even had to look up a solution for such an easy question. Seeing I'm too dumb, what's the point of fighting against the inevitable?" I'm looking to rationalize my way out of not working. Hell, some of the greatest people on earth were only average. It was their sheer dedication to their work that made the difference. | feel unintelligent and unmotivated to work towards my goal. Help. |
t3_4kgkab | relationships | How do I [20m] approach the subject of contraception and abortion with my girlfriend [19f] without sounding like an asshole? | We've been dating for more than a month and exclusive for a week now, and we had sex for the first time earlier this week (she's on the pill and I used a condom). I got the results for my STI tests back yesterday (all negative), so I'm expecting that she might want to have unprotected sex soon.
The thing is, I know that birth control fails sometimes, so I don't want to accidentally conceive a child with her in case she decides to abort; if this happened, I couldn't live with myself, because I'd feel partly responsible for the child's death, and it would eat me alive. So, how do I ask my girlfriend whether or not she would keep the baby in the event that I did get her pregnant? If she says yes to keeping it, I would be okay with having unprotected sex, but if she says no, I would much rather continue using condoms to greatly reduce the risk. How do I approach this without offending her?
inb4 "you're a misogynist" | not sure how my girlfriend feels about abortion, and I want to avoid it as much as I can; how do I ask her where she stands on the issue, and if she would want to abort, how do I respectfully request to continue using condoms in addition to the pill? |
t3_22aizy | relationships | I [M] just told a girl that I like her, does her response mean it's over? | I don't know how to begin really, but I just told this girl that I've been seeing through school for the past months that I like her and I'm not sure what to make out of her response. We're both in our early 20s and got to know each other while working together, we got along really well and had fun together, met sometimes outside school etc and I noticed that we were really similar in a lot of ways. I asked around a bit and found out that her boyfriend had broken up with her recently and that she was taking it pretty hard, but I couldn't help thinking that she was a bit interested in me for a lot of reasons.
I decided to just come out and tell her that I like her and so I did. She said that she really likes me as a friend but that she's not ready/looking for a relationship right now and that she needs time to find herself, but that she really appreciated me telling her and she seemed genuinely glad. I suppose all that sounds very cliché but she said it all in a way that I really felt as if it was nothing personal, am I stupid for thinking that it wasn't? I guess I'm asking if it's dumb for me to think that there's still a chance somewhere down the road when she's ready to meet someone again, and what I should do now if that's the case. Just continue being there as before or trying to lay low for a while? I'm guessing this isn't the first time something like this has happened and would really appreciate your experiences/thoughts, should I give up? | Told a girl I like her and I wonder if her response means it's hopeless |
t3_54326t | relationships | Me [18M] with my [18F] friend, developing feelings... | I have known this girl for about 2 months and I feel like I am developing feelings for her. Most of our interactions are online and she recently invited to a weekend event which went great and we spent the entire time together. Even though she seemed nervous at first, her body language was very positive around me and she seemed really open and comfortable around me. She even told me a couple stories about how she went to some 18+ panels and watched hentai around a bunch of grown men which to us is fucking hilarious. We even started to talk about other sexual things.
After attending the weekend event with her she has been acting slightly differently. She seems more playful and teases me alittle bit more (in a good way obviously) and wants to spend more time with me. She is starting to tell me that I should come over to her house multiple times and I should watch certain shows with her.
Awesome, right? All signals are a go except for one red flag. She has a long distance boyfriend (they haven't seen each other in real life in about 6 months). Now here is my dilemma, I wanna tell this girl how I feel but if she doesn't have mutual feelings I don't want our platonic relationship to become awkward. I would say 70% of the time she mention her boyfriend its usually negative. Something along the lines of it doesn't want to do anything or is being hard to deal with.
I honestly don't want to be that guy but I feel like If I don't make a move I'm going to regret it so much. Realistically, I will probably only know this girl for 1 more year before I go off to college and I feel like we can have some really good times in that 1 year.
I guess what I'm asking is should I take the risk and swing for the fences or just be happy with a good platonic relationship with this girl. | Really clicked with this girl I met around 2 months ago went to a weekend event and really hit it off. Only problem is she has a long distance boyfriend and wondering If I should make a move. |
t3_36si0s | relationships | Married couple (M,F, late 20s) trying to help friend (20s M) whose wife left him xPost with r/Advice | Our friend is about the same age. They were married for 2 years, together for about 3 years before that. We found out only after the wife left the husband (about 6 weeks ago) that they've been struggling for at least a year. The husband was incredibly stressed out with work and doesn't have good communication skills and had been taking it out on her, to the point that everyone involved now acknowledges he was verbally abusing her for at least this past year. She left and has no intention of coming back, and wants to speak to him minimally except about logistics of the divorce.
He's already made changes (read multiple books about verbal abuse, started seeing a therapist), and believes if he could just convince her to try that things would be better because he now understands that he was mistreating her. She's fully convinced that she doesn't want to try to fix things and feels relieved to be out of the marriage.
Now that I've spoken with the wife a couple of times, I'm realizing that there's very little hope of reconciliation, and I'm trying to help the husband move on. He's stuck on the fact that she's not willing to try and that she's only talked to him for several hours total about the dissolution of their 5 year relationship. He believes he'll never be happy without her. I don't know how to help him!
My husband and I are the closest friends to them and are the main support system of the husband. We get together with him 1-2 times a week, and a lot of it is spent talking about their relationship (understandably). The other concern here is how to be helpful without also getting myself depressed, because it's been an extremely stressful year for me and I'm having my own struggles with optimism and being the main support system for someone whose life is crashing down around him is leading me to my own internal freakouts (e.g. when I first found out about their impending divorce, I was so affected that I cried a lot the next day and had had to take a personal day from work to deal with my new feelings about the fact that the optimistic beliefs I tend to hold about life might be irrational). | How do I act as a support system for my friend whose wife left him, and do so without sending myself into a tailwind of depression too? |
t3_2jobtq | personalfinance | Student, recently unemployed, in small debt | I know that this is very minor compared to most of the post on here but here is my predicament.
I am student at a major university. I receive financial aid to cover most if my school expenses, but I am responsible for everything my FAFSA doesn't cover. I was basically let-go from my job for this semester due to a lack of available work. I received my last paycheck a few weeks back and I have been living conservatively on that while I have been looking for another part time job. The issue I am having is that I have about $850 in credit-card debt from textbooks and my electricity bills. I have around $250 left to my name in my checking account. I have been searching endlessly for another part-time job, but every interview I have is shot down, due to my limited availability with class. I am taking 18 credit hours, all from about 1-6 daily, and every employer I speak with tell me that my availability is too limited (keep in mind that I am applying for grocery stores, restaurants, clothing stores, etc). I am stressing out over this whole thing I am not sure what to do. Any and all advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you all again. | $850 in debt.$250 in checking. Recently unemployed. Searching for job. "Schedule is not flexible enough." |
t3_qp9z0 | relationships | My Boyfriend Wants to Move in With Me? | I am 21 F and my boyfriend is also 21. We both are in college and we have been seeing each other for about 5 months.
The other day he said "WE should buy a king-sized bed" (emphasis added) while we were hanging out. Then, the next day, he said, "I'm looking for a one bedroom apartment to move into next semester" out of the blue. Using "we should buy a..." and hinting at what his plans are for living next semester kind of made me think that maybe he wants to move in with me for next semester. Unfortunately, I did not ask him if that is what he meant right then.
As he is out of town this weekend, I have not brought this up with him. When he comes back, I am going to ask him whether or not that is what he meant when he gets back.
If he does want to move in with me, would that completely destroy our relationship? Is less than a year of dating too early to move in together? | I think my boyfriend wants to move in with me and I don't know how to react if he does want to move in with me. |
t3_335ok5 | dating_advice | I suck at relationships and here's why... | When first meeting a girl I'm really good at being confident and having a nice conversation. I am really easy to talk with. BUT after the initial meet, the underlying issue that has haunted me my whole life comes out: I am as funny as a can of spam. I am not funny at all, I cannot joke and really don't feel like it most of the time. I like comedies and funny stuff of course, but I feel like I wasn't born with any funny in me, it's like my brain cannot process that! It's like trying to get 9 out of a simple 2+2 addition... funny just doesn't make sense to me. | I am really good at meeting and having conversations with girls, but they soon go stale because I have no funny or spontaneousness. Soon other guy's that are funny or spontaneous come in and the girl forgets all about me! What do I do? how do I fix this!? It's my personality. |
t3_rp811 | AskReddit | Dressing well and attraction. | I'm an 18 year old male who is fairly good looking I'm doing a specialist in mathematics with a major in logic. I am doing fantasticly and currently hold the highest mark in two of my classes. Yet I find that I am constantly berated by female friends for not dressing well, what the hell is this about? Apparently if I fail to dress well all of the wonderful things I just mentioned (and everything else) are negated, so here is my question for you (people of reddit who are attracted to men) does this really affect your judgement? Why or why not? I will add that I am hygenic (I shower daily, brush my teeth 3 times a day etc.) I just choose to wear comfortable clothing. | Does the way someone dress really affect the way you judge them? Why or why not? |
t3_3yxni1 | tifu | TIFU by asking the police for drugs | Hi everybody, happy new year!
So today I got a new phone, with a new number. Decided to have some fun so I texted my father (who's chief of police of the local city) "Hey man I need some weed wanna hook me up?" he responds "This is **** police chief of ****, are you sure you want to continue the conversation?" We proceeded to back and forth for a bit until I admitted who I was. He then tells me "Good thing you let me know now instead of later, I've gotta go call off the DEA."
So yea. Almost got the DEA brought down on me. | Called police asking for weed, almost got fucked. |
t3_3bbd9p | tifu | TIFU by getting scared by a bee | Unlike most TIFUs, this literally just happened and I feel like the biggest idiot ever. Throwaway because I don't want people to know my real account.
So anyways, I was in my car and I was backing out of my friend's driveway. I'm out on the street, and as I'm putting the car into drive, that's when I see it.
It's a massive bee sitting on my lap. I'm absolutely terrified of bugs. So what does my idiot self decide to do? Yup, you guessed it, jump out of the damn car, while screaming like a little girl.
My car was still in drive, and my buddy in the passenger seat is freaking the hell out. I watched, frozen in shock, as my car runs into a tree and finally stops.
On the bright side, the only damage was the front bumper and the driver's side door, which is dented and stuck open.
I'm such an idiot, how the hell am I still alive. | crashed my car bc of an absolutely massive bee. |
t3_mz0p6 | relationships | My relationship feels like a lie and it's stressing me out and making me sad. | I've been in a long term relationship for the past almost 5 years (got together when she as 18 I was 22). We live together, get along great and she's got the rest of her life planned out with me. I'm not certain my plans are the same and it's eating away at me to the point of mild depression, diminished libido and borderline self destructive behaviour. (which probably doesn't help the first 3 issues)
We both have stable jobs/careers and I've pretty much supported her since we met as far as getting through school and stuff.
We first met at a party I threw to celebrate my last week of classes and I didn't even notice her. She came back the next weekend and ended up in my bedroom. We started hanging out after that, and about a month in she told me she was falling for me and that if I was having any second thoughts that I should tell her right then. I did have some, but I didn't tell her. I didn't want to hurt her feelings and I liked having a girlfriend. Several months later she moved to a nearby city (1.5 hrs or so to drive) with a friend and needed a roommate. I resisted (I'd have to find a new job and I was enjoying the distance from her clinglyness) but eventually relented. Over the years we've become very reliant on each other and have had a ton of good times but there is a deadness inside me, and I don't like it. I see how much she loves me and I feel like a monster for not being able to heartfeltly reciprocate.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to approach breaking up, or even if that's the right thing to do. | my relationship feels like a lie and it's stressing me out and making me sad. And it's all me. Please ask any questions that might clarify or help you help me. |
t3_3k8gw2 | personalfinance | Doctor bullying my mum? Brisbane, Aus | Hi Guys,
First time here, just want to be really quick.
My mums health has been declining lately, because of this she has had many doctors appointments. On a specific thursday and friday she tried to call her doctor to cancel her appointment for the following thursday, but they were unavailable. So she sent an email on friday saying she wouldnt be able to make it . On monday they phoned her saying she would receive a $130 fee for less than 7 days notice.
This was 3 months ago. Yesterday she received a letter asking for the $130 as "...In accordance with our cancellation policy". The letter also later said "Administration fees may apply if we do not hear from you in 7 days, and we may pass your file to a debt collection agency. This can have permanent impacts on your credit rating, so we encourage you to contact us immediately.'
As I said I live in Brisbane, Australia. My mum said she didnt particularly think the doctor was providing the best specific advise for her (he sounded a bit like a pharm rep) but thats irrelevant. Are we legally obliged to pay this just because its their policy? It seems like they are trying to pressure my mum.
I just want to help, sorry for long text. | Live in brisbane, aus. Mum tried to cancel appointment 1 week out, couldnt contact doctor by phone, emailed on friday saying she would not make it, on monday the doctor said she must pay the cancellation fee. |
t3_2vpx32 | tifu | TIFU by asking "What for?" | *This happened a few days ago in the evening.*
**CONTEXT**
So I work as a receptionist at an English school for (mainly Latino) adults. It's quite small and I, as the receptionist, have to deal with the customers (translating/retailing the course). I also have to make sure windows are closed and dealing with certain requests (e.g. refilling the sugar/water cups/cashing up - the usual). As we are a small business, I have to keep track of what happens to some items when they go missing and report it to the manager, as well as thinking on the spot for a solution.
**THE FU**
It's break time at the school and a friendly lady asks me where the toilet is. I direct her to the doors and she goes in. A few moments later, she bursts out the toilet to my desk and asks if I have toilet paper. This obviously struck me as quite odd since I assumed the cleaner would've refilled the toilet paper in the afternoon. So I, without thinking, ask her "What for?"
She looks at me perplexed, and at the same time quite angrily and replies in Spanish "too poop, obviously".
My face went all red as I fumbled through the cabinets looking for toilet paper and give it to her whilst muttering "perdon". She snatches it from me and marches towards the toilet.
Yeah... She isn't going to be "a friendly lady" anymore... | Lady asks for toilet paper, I ask her "what for?" she gets pissed off and I end up realising I just asked someone why they need toilet paper for the toilet. |
t3_wdk3r | AskReddit | Having some issues dealing with HP's customer support. Any pointers? | Long story short; Bought an Envy 15 in Feb. It couldn't display red properly (was orange instead) so I got a replacement from HP. Same issue. I asked for a solution, they said an envy 17 would be OK since it uses a different type of monitor. Sure. Got the 17, Turned out the DVD drive isn't spitting CD's back out (and that the back of the case is unhinged and won't click down). Talk to support, he says he'll call me in 3 days. 3 weeks pass- he calls back and says that now it's too late to return the laptop, but I can send it in for service to fix my dvd drive. I point out how the laptop jumps to 70*C when idling (I don't have anything intensive running) and how the case is also messed up. He says I can't do anything about it/ deal with it. Keep in mind, last month HP released a refresh to the Envy series. So at this point I'm semi-raging about how I paid for a laptop in Feb, and still don't have a working unit. They want me to send this back (goodbye for a few weeks, internet). I ask if I can get a replacement and they say only if they find the issue I'm talking about and can't fix it.
HP being HP, I'm sure they'll half-ass it or just lie about the situation- saying there's nothing wrong. So my question- What should I do? | Was getting laptops with issues since FEB, now HP says it's too late for a refund, and they won't even move me up to a new model that was released two months after I bought a defective unit (which should run cooler, as heat is an issue). Currently having issues with the laptop. Might get a replacement if they find an issue they can't fix. |
t3_2fk3f7 | relationships | I [26M] have been dating a girl [24F] for one month, she recently broke off an engagement with her ex of 4 years. Am I a rebound? | I have been dating this girl for one month now and it has been perfect. We always have fun together, she seems super into me and often tells me how attracted she is to me. The sex is great and our chemistry is very strong.
With that said, I am concerned I am being used as a rebound, or as a temporary means to comfort her. She ended her engagement a few months ago with her ex of 4 years (they were engaged for 1 year).
Here's the first red flag I noticed: For the first 3 weeks of dating her, she never told me she was engaged to this guy, she only referred to him as her "ex boyfriend". I didn't find out they were engaged until I looked at her Facebook page and where she still has dozens of photos of them together and all her friends congratulating her on the engagement. I found this odd because she had talked about him alot but intentionally hid the fact that they were engaged, only ever referring to him as her "ex boyfriend". I asked her why she never told me and her response was that "she didn't want to scare me away". Her ex bought a dog with her, so they take turns sharing the dog for a week. So they are still in touch with each other and she still talks to his parents about logistical things as well.
I have no problem with her talking to her ex fiance about logistics, because we aren't in an exclusive relationship. However, this girl keeps telling me how much she likes me, but when I asked her what she thought "about us" she sounded confused and responded "well... I like hanging out with you" which was strange considering how much she professes her feelings for me. I like this girl alot. My concern is that I'm a rebound and she will ditch me when she gets bored or finds someone better. Should I be concerned about anything here or am I overthinking? | Been dating this girl for 1 month, she is just broke off an engagement to her ex which she didn't tell me about for the first 3 weeks. She says she likes me alot, yet won't commit to anything. Should I be concerned or am I just overthinking? |
t3_12zes1 | relationships | How bad is it to ask your girlfriend to lose weight? I'm 19m she's 18. We've been together 2 years. | She's always getting onto me to get contact lenses, she says I'd look much better with contact lenses. This is kind of insulting.
There's no nice way of saying this but she has let herself go a little bit and I'm all for a girl with more meat on her bones and none of this size zero bollocks but that's not to say I want my girlfriend to put weight on.
Anyway she's always saying I'd look so much better with contact lenses so what's the harm in saying I'd like to see you drop a dress size?
We've been together 2 years. | My girlfriend says I'd be so much more attractive with contact lenses, so is it so wrong to ask her to drop a bit of weight? |
t3_3iat71 | relationships | I [26F] was raped about a year ago and I've been feeling emotionally numb to everything and idk if I'm still in love with my [28 M] boyfriend. | Sorry for a late night/early morning post but this has been bothering me for a while and I need some help.
Last year I moved to a new state and started making friends. I was happy with life and was just very cheerful and optimistic about the future. My 4 year relationship with my boyfriend was going great and nothing could stop me.
I made a great mistake and decided to trust the wrong people and as a result I was taken advantage in the worst way possible.
To make things worse I had to bottle it in and pretend like nothing happened because I was told that if anyone knew what happened there would be retaliation towards me.
3 months later I got the courage to tell someone and got help both physically and legally but mentally was hard for me. I don't know if I just haven't accepted the fact that I was raped or that I'm still in denial even a year after it happened but ever since then the world went grey and I lost interest in everything. I struggle to even find a reason to get up anymore. It's taken a strain on my relationship with my boyfriend because I just want to be alone. He has been very understanding and tried to help me but I just get angry over stupid stuff and I don't even know why. I just get upset. I feel bad and I think he deserves better but he says he loves me and wont leave. I ask my self if I feel the same way but idk, everything is numb. What do I do?
Sorry if I was rambling. | Got taken advantage of and the world feels numb. What do I do with my boyfriend? |
t3_neqpt | self | Hey Reddit, I am suffering from all kinds of joint pains that don't seem to go away. Any insight? | I know I should perhaps visit a doctor but I cannot afford to see one right now. :( Also, I apologize for the wall of text.
I have had pretty bad knee pains and neck pains for years. I've learned to manage them, although at times they hinder my ability to function. Unfortunately, over the last 6 months or so, I've developed several more joint pains.
I got bursitis in my right shoulder, which I went to therapy for (using the last of my money). Even though I kept up with the exercises and therapy sessions it never went fully away, and as soon as I ceased therapy (lack of funds) it came back. During therapy I began to notice pain in my left shoulder, asked the therapist and he said it's nothing. A month later today and it hurts just as bad as my right one.
Also, I've developed really bad pains in my elbows. i asked my girlfriend's cousin, a medical student, and she said it was tennis elbow (or golfers, I forgot which). On both elbows.
Meanwhile, I also have pains in my wrists, enough to where my hands go numb. Also, all my joints pop, crack, sometimes with sharp pains. My knee and neck (upper back) pains never went away and now I'm a mess of pain. I'm a 20 year old male. Because of all this (or perhaps another issue) I'm always lacking energy and feeling pretty down.
I used to wrestle in high school, with my knee and neck problems and it was manageable. I also weightlifted and I could handle it. Now I can barely do anything at all without pain, whether it be close a door or empty a grocery bag. | Developing pains in most of my joints, including tendon/tissue inflammation. I don't know why as I'm not doing anything that would seemingly cause this. |
t3_2gy8et | relationships | Me [21F] with my FWB [23M] of 2 years and it's getting complicated | Initially we agreed to keep this relationship casual and the relationship a secret from mutual friends. As this relationship progressed he placed more boundaries like we could see other people but our thing had to end if the other one got serious or if we started sleeping with someone else. This was implemented because I asked for a more clear cut boundary. He has not hooked up with a girl within this duration and I've been the first girl he's been with since his ex from ~ 4 years ago. Although he has mentioned that he might not be over his ex so that could be the reason why he hasn't. Aside from this, I don't feel as like it's really a FWB due to the mixed signals I'm getting.
For instance:
- we go on dates every now and then when we have the free time;
- we see each other weekly;
- I've met some of his friends;
- he's affectionate, we always cuddle when we're together, kiss, hug, play with each other's hair etc;
- he's constantly telling me to stay when the weekend ends;
- he's not a very open person but lately he's been opening up to me more about his problems, and
- we talk throughout the week and he's there to support me when I need someone to listen.
Due to these mixed signals, I've fallen for him and he knows that I like him but he's firmly told me he doesn't want to pursue a relationship from the start. However, recently he told me he wanted to break off the sex but continue doing everything we did weekly. He said it constantly bothered him whether he should date me but he never reached a conclusion. I told him that we either continued as it was or we stopped seeing each other completely (no contact) and so we continued. | Ultimately I want to be in a relationship with somebody who loves me back. He doesn't want to commit but he won't end it completely and I can't bring myself to do it. I know I need to end this but I after I wake up from a night's sleep I'm fine again for X period and whenever I do see him in person I'm extremely happy. How do I overcome this? |
t3_scgo9 | AskReddit | Should I let my girlfriend sleep at another guys house? | So my girlfriend texts me today asking me if I would mind or be jealous if she slept over at her ex-boyfriends house with another guy because "she knows I get jealous easily". She reassures me that she's not interested in her ex-boyfriend (of 7 months) anymore because they broke up 8 months ago and she certainly isn't keen on the other guy because he's her bestfriend.
My friends have mostly told me that I should mind because I'm her boyfriend and her ex-boyfriend seems to still have feelings for her. I'm friends with the 2 guys but not close enough with them to feel comfortable with it.
My girlfriend recently had a fight with her group of girls and they all have sleepovers without her now so I feel mean telling her she can't go sleepover with these guys.
Anyway, my question is should I let/feel comfortable with my girlfriend sleeping over with 2 guys at their house. | = girlfriend wants to sleepover at ex-boyfriends house with another guy, reassures me she has no feelings for either, asks me if I would be jealous/mind. Should I? |
t3_1jne6x | relationships | [FINAL UPDATE] My[24F] father in law [67M] does not understand boundaries and is disrespectful | Hey Reddit. This will be my final update to the saga (previous update [here](
I'll try to keep this as short as I can. My father in law wrote back to my husband today and it was an essay full of "you" statements that contained:
- guilt tripping
- more elaborate blaming using my mother in law and brother in law in untrue statements to hurt my husband - eg. your brother used to abuse you and it turned you hostile to me
- saying that he (father in law) has tons of friends and have offended no one else EVER
- everyone else can see that my husband is the only one being rude and disrespectful to him and not the other way around
The whole thing concluded with my father in law saying he is who he is and cannot change and wrote an elaborate goodbye which included "you clearly find me a regrettable burden to your life" and "you reject me as your father". Neither of those things were said nor implied, he is just trying to increase the drama.
I wrote to my mother in law telling her that we would still like to maintain a relationship with her and I explained our point of view (including that her husband was using her name to hurt my husband) just in case he was feeding her another story.
I seriously hope this is the end. I picture my father in law as an octopus, swimming around in an ocean of "I'm always right" and "I have tons of friends" while each of his 8 legs are carrying "Nope, you're wrong" or "I am who I am" and he just flings them at you as fast as he can and occasionally he'll squirt out "your brother abused you" and swim away while you're blinded by shock. | father in law blames my husband for everything and uses mother in law and brother in law's names in untrue statements to hurt my husband |
t3_3khf1z | relationships | Please help! How to deal when my (28f) husband (33m) is in love with someone else? | I believe my husband is in love with his ex wife. They've been split for a number of years now but are still friends, no kids together. She is also in a relationship. My husband works out of town so I only get a few days a week with him, but during those few days he always talks about her at some point or another. Usually references to her about the past. They text sometimes but I've never read them, although he's told me a few times what it's been about (congratulating us on getting married, asking him to work on her family's house, which he told me he would but didn't get time to..although at the time he only told me he wanted to work this side job for extra money, never mentioned it had anything to do with her,). He said he's had chances to get back with her but didn't (she cheated on him).
We've been together almost two years, he hasn't had many relationships. In the beginning I didn't think anything of it but recently it seems he's talking about her more and more (or that could just be in my head). This makes me feel like she's always on his mind and that he wants her. It breaks my heart every time he mentions her. I don't want to seem jealous so I say nothing. I just don't know what to do? | I believe my husband wants his ex wife and I'm heartbroken & don't know what to do about it |
t3_1nh8b4 | relationships | I [22 M] am uncomfortable with my gf [22 F] having any contact with a past fwb | She says hes like a brother to him now. I truly believe her, and I'm 99% positive she would never do anythign with him, even saying she won't hang out with him.
God, It's so ridiculous but I'm still REALLY bothered by it. I just don't like the idea of any relationship between them and I realize that I should just get over it but I can't stop feeling this way.
What can I do to help myself feel better about this? It's just insane to me that I'm self aware, knowing that I shouldnt be this upset. Yet here I am. | I'm being really jealous of my gf having a brotherly relationship with an ex fwb, help me. |
t3_3wwavf | relationships | I [17/M] have become addicted to stalking my celebrity crush [17/F] since the summer to a point of of physical nausea and I need help | So I have had this issue for the past few monthes with a celebrity crush of mine.
I first saw one of her movies when I was ten, thought she was cute, and brushed it off.
Over the summer, I just remembered her out of the blue, and followed her on Twitter and Instagram. As the summer progressed I started checking more frequently in on her profiles.
Around the time the school year started in September, it started to get worse. I started to check her profiles hourly, see what things she was tagged in, and started doing advanced searches on google for her name at least daily.
As my soccer season ended, it started to get a lot worse. I started to get sick and nausea from the thought of her having and boyfriend, and at max was sick for two hours. I also started to get jealous and angry whenever I see her in a photo because I'm not there.
I have tried to block her, and even though all this does is bring me pain, I still keep coming back. She could be a horrible person in real life, and I know I'm just creating an idol out of her but I can't seem to stop.
I don't feel this way about any other girls in my life, while I don't see many as I go to an all boys school in the Midwest. I worry that as I go into my dating kid this sets a bad precedent. Either my feeling for this celebrity will block me from making connections or this stalker like behavior I am showing now will continue.
While I have a great guidance system at my school, family, and friends, I am hesitant to tell anyone out of fear of embarrassment.
Please Reddit, I need advice on how to break my celebrity crush, as it is making my life miserable. | I have been obsessing over celebrity crush since Summer, behavior has intensified to stalker level. Seeing pictures brings me physical sickness and anger through jealously, I need help removing her from my life, getting rid of this toxic behavior, and whether or not I should tell anyone. |
t3_2zzqg0 | relationships | My [31 M] close friend [32 F] claims to hate herself and I don't know how to help | My friend is a very kind person that I care a lot for.
Her last relationship ended a couple of years ago after several years(I did not know her at the time). According to her she feels guilt for having broken it off after many years together. She's not gone into details of the cause and I don't want to push the issue. But her vague description is that she just lost interest and when she eventually did broach the subject the breakup was long until she eventually had to force it by pretending to hate him.
She has said that she is not interested in any other relationships. This came up because I was(and still am, but have figured that this is not the right time) interested in her. At first I thought it may just be an excuse to turn me down gently, but she has made other statements that would allude to that including stating to friends she will probably never have children(despite really liking them).
Despite being a cheerful and friendly person, she has on multiple occasions told me that she doesn't like herself. I'm pretty much at a loss as to what to say since she is one of the kindest people I know.
I suspect that she may have been psychologically abused through emotional manipulation during her last breakup. But this is not the kind of thing you just ask someone, and it would obviously be a significant accusation towards her ex(with whom she has no contact)
Since it's obviously going to be an issue when giving advice I'll describe my relationship with her. We both are into the outdoors and got close through the shared interest. We share the tent and trust each others lives to one another. Many people have jokingly said we're like a married couple. She knows I like her, but I've always been concerned at coming on too strong, so I haven't pushed the issue much and am happy just being friends, though the nature of our friendship sometimes seems weird to myself too(from the outside in it looks like we're a couple, but there's no physical aspect to it), and I'm thinking I should put more distance(but am also worried I might hurt her by doing that). | My close friend claims to hate herself and may have been emotionally manipulated during her break-up with her ex that was a couple of years ago for which she feels guilt. How can I help her realize what a good person she is and help her move on? |
t3_sputy | AskReddit | What's the most disgusting thing you've done to get yourself out of trouble? I'll start. | Yesterday, when I woke up, I was dying to use the toilet.
I was staying at my girlfriend's house and both the toilets were occupied. I didn't want to go in the garden incase I got caught and I couldn't hold it in any longer, so I decided to pee in a empty cider bottle in her room.
After I relieved myself I forgot all about it and continued my day.
When my girlfriend got back from work she went to take the recycling out and found the bottle...
She knew it was previously empty and went to sniff it. I snatched it off her and said "I couldn't find any clean cups so I filled it with water" and then proceeded to take a big gulp of the old, cold piss. She turned around when I swallowed and I managed to walk down the stairs normally then run to the now un-occupied bathroom where I violently threw up.
All that sick was worth not getting caught pissing in a bottle though. | No toilets so I pissed in a bottle and had to drink it when my girlfriend got home. |
t3_2ds3lw | relationships | Me [19 F] with my bf [18M]. How do I know he difference between crazy and justified? | This is a general question that can apply to all relationships, but I was just wondering how I know if I'm being crazy or if my feelings are justifiable?
I tend to be a jealous and very paranoid person. Realizing this, I want to know where I should draw the line in what to say and do with my SO. I don't want to alienate him and cause him to think I'm overbearing.
Lately, I've been feeling like he's been paying less attention to me. Even typing this sentence on a throwaway makes me feel silly. I know a boyfriends job isn't to pay constant attention to his SO, but were in an ldr and he's my best friend, and in the city I'm in I have no friends. I try to be understanding and give him his space, but he's the only person I can really talk to. He deserves more than some crazy, desperate bitch making him feel bad for having a life (which I haven't been at all to his face, but the fact that I'm sitting on reddit worrying about my boyfriend makes me feel like a crazy, desperate bitch)
I also wanna know in general how I can realize when I'm being being unfair to him. I love this guy. We're young and I don't wanna scare him so I haven't told him and I don't know if he feels the same, but I think I wanna spend the rest of my life with him, and I don't wanna ruin that just because I occasionally get lonely. | how can I know the difference between me being demanding and him slacking off? I can't decide whether to suck up my problems or to say something about it |
t3_1g01tz | Parenting | It's been a year since my 6 y/o's front tooth fell out - should I be concerned? | I'm new to this sub, so please forgive any breach of protocol. I also apologize if this isn't the right place to post this - suggestions on where to x-post this if I'm not in the right place?
I'll start this out by saying that I'm not seeking medical advice, just some light reassurance (or extra cause for concern) before I bring him into the dentist this week.
The title says most of the story. My 6 y/o lost his front tooth about a year ago. I think it may have been knocked loose by some general roughhousing, but I don't remember anything particularly traumatic or unusual. I remember thinking that it was early to lose a front tooth.
We went to the dentist about 4 months ago, and he didn't seem concerned. He didn't do an x-ray, though.
I was prompted to worry today as we just discovered the other front tooth was loose. I can just imagine another year or longer of a toothless dude. It's been cute, but I think we're all ready for a full set of chompers.
For now, there is zero sign of the other tooth coming through. The gums look fine, but nothing is poking through. | 6 year old lost his tooth a year ago. No sign of the new tooth. |
t3_4i26y0 | relationships | Bisexual Fluidity and Monogamy, me [27F] and my SO [28F] | Hi y'all!
Background: I'm bi [27F], living monogamously with my partner [28F] of 7 years, and am having some sort of emotional crisis. I would also like to say that I love my partner very much, and do not want to leave or hurt her. She's my best friend, I always enjoy her company. Our sex life is amazing, and she's always willing to try things for me. But I miss the idea of being intimate with a man, and I'm trying to figure out if it's something I can live without for the rest of my life.
Right now I'm focused on thoughts of monogamy vs polyamory (ethical non-monogamy, not cheating), and the fluidity of (at least my) bisexuality. When I say fluid, I mean that there are times when I would vastly prefer to have a man around, other times when I just find guys in general exhausting. This ranges over many months/years, and same goes for women too. It is not something I can consciously control. It's how things have gone for me in the past, which leads me to believe it will continue into the future. To me, there's not really a substitute for being with a man or woman. I feel that in a long-term monogamous relationship with either gender, I'd be missing out on the other sex. | How do you deal with your sexual fluidity in a monogamous relationship? |
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