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t3_1jrpsb | relationships | Me[21m] with my ___ [18F] Talking 2 months, Boyfriend problem | Me and this girl have been talking for 2 months strait. We easily Text each other about 500-600 text a week with both of us initiating conversation. When we see each other we always hug. My problem is she has a boyfriend. they have been together 4 months as of today. I feel weird talking to her this much with him in the picture. i Honestly feel like she talks to me more then him.
However she is a very loyal person so i dont think she wants to break it off with him. i told her one time i feel weird texting you when you're with him and she said i always text you when im with him. she also gets angry when i dont text her. i feel like im in a relationship with her but nether one of us are cheaters. i need some advice guys. she also knows that i like her cause ive told her 1000's of times in subtle ways that i do. | Me and this girl have been talking everyday for 2 months. she has a boyfriend...im single.....500-600 text a week. there 4 month anniversary is today. should i tell her im uncomfortable talking to her , that i dont want to be a cancer to there relationship? i like her ALOT |
t3_2artu9 | offmychest | I don't think either of us were expecting a kiss. | I'd been all alone for two months after ending a relationship that lasted nearly 4 years. Your boyfriend literally just broke up with you. We'd loved each other since we were just kids but we never knew how to say it. I opened up to you on the beach and you opened up to me and for a single moment, I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. It was almost as if the most beautiful of dreams were finally coming true. You have been my hopes and dreams as long as I can remember. Knowing that we both go to school so far away makes everything so much more difficult, and deep down I think you still have feelings for your ex. I feel like I'm caught in the middle of an impossible battle and all I can do is helplessly wait until I am put out of my misery. It was our last day together and we were saying our goodbyes. I embraced you the way I'd embrace a dying best friend, and you did the same. Letting go was the hardest moment of my life. As we looked deeply into each others eyes, you leaned in and kissed me. Nothing else mattered more to me than that moment. I wish you could know how much that meant to me. Now here we are. Your ex has started talking to you again and you contorted the truth telling him that I leaned in to kiss you and that it was my fault. I've never felt so betrayed in my entire life. I told you how shitty of you that was to do, and deep down you knew. You finally told him the truth and the video he sent to you of him throwing his engagement ring into the bush pierced through you like a knife in hot butter. I hate what I let happen to you. More than anything, all I want is for you to be happy. I wish I could spend eternity with you. I wish this would've been both of our last first kisses. Now you're not talking to me and I feel so alone. I feel like I have nobody else. I think this was the last straw. My chest has a massive gaping hole in it and I'm slowly bleeding out. | Fuck relationships, feelings, heartache and everything else. |
t3_3qf45h | loseit | NSV: My fiancee is noticing! | M/32/5'11" SW: 299 CW: 274 GW: 200
I am just starting on month three of my weight loss journey and starting to see some real results. Additionally, my fiancee is seeing results! She said my face is changing and that when she hugs me, my back is feeling way more defined and muscle-y. haha. Feels good to start really seeing results. I also got to update my badge this morning to -25lb!
I have been doing the slow carb diet during the week, having a "cheat day" on saturdays, which just consists of me eating at maintenance and eating carbs. For exercise, I do 20 minutes of kettelbell lifting, three times a week. Also, I try to walk over 10k steps a day (tracked with my fitbit). My weight loss has been pretty consistent at about 1.5lbs a week, which isn't anything crazy, but I feel more energy than I ever have in my life.
We are getting married on May 28, I am hoping to be down to 215 by then! | People are starting to notice and I feel amazing! |
t3_2u86em | relationships | [19f] How to Stop Being Jealous in Relationship? | I get jealous every time other girls talk to my boyfriend and it's gotten really bad. He's 17 and our relationship is over a year old and my feelings of jealousy and possessiveness keep getting worse and worse. Yesterday everything blew up. We had a huge argument, and he ended up calling me pscyho and he broke up with me, I basically said he's not allowed leaving me, and I begged him to stay with me and he agreed to but said if I don't start giving him space and stop acting "crazy" then he'll break up with me. I don't think it's fair that he thinks he could break up with me just like that, over an issue that he's NEVER talked to me about before. I didn't even know it bothered him.
I'm happy we're still together but I don't know how to stop. It's gotten to the point where when we go out to eat, if the waitress is good looking I'll order for him and won't even let him because I don't want him and the waitress talking. I've threatened his female friend before just for talking to him, I'm absolutely obsessed with him being mine and noone elses. I don't know hot to get rid of these feelings.
I asked before and just got people telling me to go to therapy, I'm not willing to do that and I'd feel embarrassed talking to someone in person about it, that's kinda why I'm on here. So please give like, your own advice or opinions, based on experience or anything. Thanks | My boyfriend called me a psycho and broke up with me, we're still together now but I want to stop being so jealous about everything, so then he'll want to stay with me. |
t3_4tdlsf | relationships | Me [30F] with my recent ex [35 M] 3 years, do I tell our mutual friends why we really broke up? | Hi all,
I recently left my husband of 3 years after he assaulted me for the fifth and final time. Our mutual friends were not aware of the abuse, and our friends were shocked to hear we had broken up because we seemed so in love. I certainly was in love, or else I would not have given him so many opportunities to address his issues (suggestions of counselling, self-help books, gym time, CBT, anti-violence groups, etc).
After this last assault I went to the police and reported each incident and my ex has since been charged with several criminal offences. He has not told our mutual friends why we broke up and has simply said that we had a significant difference of opinion. To be fair, that is accurate. He thought it was fine to hit me, and I disagree.
My dilemma is that I don't know whether I should tell our friends the real reason I left him. I've known them for years, but some of them are his coworkers. I don't want to make things awkward for my friends at the office or inappropriately burden them with bad news. Would you want to know if your friend/coworker was facing charges for assaulting their spouse? Without mentioning the criminal charges, it's rather difficult to explain why my ex can't also attend the same parties, even if we're seated elsewhere. What is the most polite and fair thing to do in this situation?
Thanks in advance for any help! | My ex assaulted me repeatedly. I went to the police; criminal charges have been laid. Should I tell our mutual friends why I left him and why we can't be at the same events, or is that going to be awkward for them? |
t3_2lwrc3 | relationships | My [28m] girlfriend (25f) thinks that I put too much pressure on her to have sex and that's why she doesn't want to... | We've been dating for 7 months, and we've had this issue before. Recently we hadn't had sex for 3 weeks because she had her period, then school work and now she is saying she is sick. We both live with our parents so its difficult to find times to get our houses to ourselves and I knew I'd have mine to myself for 2 days. I told her about it many times and when the day came she says she is not feeling well and that she has to do an essay that's due in like 4 days.
I was really dissappointed and she apologized that she didn't manage her time well but then later today for the first time she says that I put too much pressure on her to have sex and sometimes when I "beg" her she finds it to be very unattractive. She thinks I just "put up" with her otherwise for the chance of sex. There have been many circumstances where we can't have sex like her being on period, being too busy with school and most of all being sick. I want to have sex like once a week at least but she seems to be content with once every 2-3 weeks. She seems to really enjoy the sex too and says that she is really attracted to me.
I don't know where this is coming from because she speaks very highly of me otherwise, says she loves me and to be honest all we ever do is talk about her and whatever she wants. She can be very controlling and is very stubborn and kind of self absorbed.
My question to people is does this sound like we should break up (I know that's reddits fave solution haha) or perhaps I am overreacting and should try to compromise? | girlfriend won't have sex with me because she feels I put too much pressure on her to have sex and she thinks I'm only with her for the sex (but we have sex once every few weeks) and she always makes up excuses... any advice? |
t3_3voadx | tifu | TIFU by shaving my husband's ass | My husband and I shower together regularly, as we are big fans of being naked together. Last night while my husband was washing his hair I decided to be a shithead, because thats just the kind of person I am, and I thought it would be funny to shave one of his ass cheeks. After about four strokes with the razor he turned around and looking puzzled said "Are you shaving my butt?!" We had a little laugh, but then he decided everything needed to be evened out so he went ahead with some all out manscaping- balls and all. After the shower we got ready to lay in bed and watch The Babadook. Normally we would never eat in bed, but as we were in the middle of a busy stressful week, we decided to plate up some nachos to eat while we watched the movie. My husband loves nachos- and goes all out when he makes them. He shredded fresh cheese, cut up fresh habaneros, warmed up some salsa and put it all on a tray so we wouldn't get crumbs everywhere. We eat our nachos, watch our movie, clean up and lay down to get some shut eye. After a kiss goodnight, husband reached down to adjust himself and a few seconds later starts freaking out. He had never washed his hands after making nachos and just grabbed his freshly shaved balls with habanero hands. We realized what was going on had to run downstairs and pour the last of the milk into a bowl so he could put his junk in it. So there we are at 12:30 a.m. holding his bait and tackle in a bowl of milk in the living room while tears silently stream down his face. Now I'm telling strangers on the internet about it. | Shaved my husbands ass and dipped his dick in milk. |
t3_3da5sf | tifu | TIFU by bringing up a SFW event from the past with my son and unintentionally making it NSFW in a public setting. | Drove with my son [u/-MagicMan-] to go get some pictures of him sipping tea [context] processed. (his mothers idea not mine) Anyways, we to get some fast food and started talking about random stuff.
We sat in those chairs outside he told me about this kid in his high school who chocked on some food and caused a huge scene and destroyed some stuff in the cafeteria, so, i found this story to be more than hilarious and was laughing loudly at this point.
Low and behold, i bring up THE STUPIDEST THING EVER: "hey, hey, -MagicMan-, you remember when you chocked on **my** sausage and you started make gerbil noises HAHAHAHA" (**for context me and my son had pigs in a blanket a few weeks ago and were trying to toss it into each others mout, he chocked, gerbil noises ensued, heimlich maneuvered him, laughed**)
Looking at my sons face, i quickly realize he's no longer laughing, only staring at me. And that a group of girls his age and some other people walking by had stopped what they were doing and now decided to stare at me. I dont really know whay he cares, he has a girlfriend anyways but, oh well.
We hauled ass out of there and in the car, my son broke out with laughter and told me: "Yea, *really* nice timing dad"
We are now returning home with framed pictures of my son and a new story for my wife. | Brought up the past with son at fast food place about how he 'chocked on sausage'(pigs in a blanket) and got publicly humiliated. |
t3_z92gq | AskReddit | Can I get fired from my part time job over something I have no control over? | I work a part time retail job and one of my fellow employees slipped the news that I won't be able to work for the month of December because I'm going away to visit family I haven't seen in a few years. They told him if I don't work that month then they will fire me. I've been with them for a year now and have the highest sales in the store and on top of that I have no control over the choice, my parents booked the flights and it's set in stone with them. If they will fire me, I'm thinking of just quitting instead. Are they allowed to simply fire me over something like this? | Manager threatening to fire me if I don't work December even though I have no control over the situation. |
t3_l0ccc | relationships | I want to win a girls heart and the only thing I have is the Internet. | Ok so here's the low down. I met this girl working on a movie set about 5 ish months ago and in short she is absolutely amazing. I am 23(Months away from being 24) and she is 24 and we both work freelance in the movie industry. Now she is going to be in Australia for 3-5 months to come back to California.
Now she is a very sweet, pretty and outgoing girl which means she has a lot of male admirers and for the next 6 months the only contact is going to be online. When it comes to online chatting I kinda suck I'm much better at face to face interactions. I want to separate my self from the pack of the other guys saying "I Miss you, come home, cant wait for you to get back etc" and have her think the same about me as I do her.
I do have a loose idea how to play this out but I wanted to see what you guys have in mind first | I need to separate myself from the pack of guys and all I have is the internet |
t3_2zfqk7 | relationships | SO (20f) added ex bf on Facebook when I told her not to. | UPDATE*** I broke it off. Talked to her she said the bastard messaged her a friend request because apparently he hit rock bottom. She said they didn't converse after adding each other so I asked to see the messages. Apparently she deleted the messages while on the train home because she wanted us to have a "clean slate." I could not believe what she just said. She deleted the conversation and expected me to believe it was for the betterment of the relationship? Pffftt my ass is cleaner than that! Told her I don't believe her. Noped my ass out!
Background: We are in a LDR for 2 years. Her ex lives near her, I dont. They were in a relationship after me and my SO broke up so basically a rebound. A week ago I got a text from her phone that she was having sex with some guy. She tells me some guy stole it from her while she was in the bathroom and forgot her phone outside. I don't know if this is coincidental or not, but I found out by browsing her friends list that she recently added him again. Furthermore, He also sent me messages from her phone from when they were together and I was her ex. What should I do??? | A week ago got a text from SO's phone of some dude saying they had sex. Recently added a rebound from our previous relationship who I told her not to a few months back. He messaged me through her phone before when I was her ex. Now I'm thinking it was him and my SO is trying to cover up. |
t3_3wx8rs | relationships | Me [18 M] with my [20 M] brother. He messages tonnes of girls from my high school, even though he is at university overseas. | My brother is 20 years old. He lives overseas, where he is studying at university. He messages dozens of girls, including many as young as 16 (from my high school, which he previously attended. 16 is the legal age of consent where we live). These messages are not overtly sexual but have strong sexual undertones. He does not know that I know about these messages. These girls have mentioned that they find the messages creepy and off-putting and many of them have corroborated their accounts, their independent conformity to detail making these accusations undeniable.
I am unsure how to proceed. I do not wish to damage his social reputation, but find these claims quite disturbing. When I questioned him about a similar incident in the past, he reflexively became defensive and we accomplished little. I wish to put an end to this and am hoping that he gets a girlfriend his own age, although I worry about the nature of that relationship considering the current situation. Any advice on how to address the situation? | Older brother who attends university overseas messages younger girls from his old high school, perturbing us all. |
t3_2h0tfs | relationships | I [24 M] have a great relationship with my GF [23 F] for two years, things are about to change and I need help. | Hi. As I said in the title we are together for 2 years. We are really happy, I can say that I love her, we've never had any fights and we both feel that one completes the other. We aren't bored in our relationship, we both do stuff together that we like and it seems that nothing will change in that regard in the coming months.
But she will leave for postgraduate studies in about 6 months in some other country and we came to the conclusion that we will keep a LDR. I will graduate in the summer and after my graduation we will live together in the new city where she will study. Right now we are trying the LDR as she isn't living in the same city with me anymore because she has finished her studies and she is visiting me every two or three weeks.
I'm pretty ok with the LDR andn her going to another country to study and me later joining her. The little thing that is nagging my brain lately is the fact that she is my first girlfriend and I have no other experience with another girl while she had her fair share of experiences but now she said that in me she has found everything that she is looking for. The problem arises when I think that if I ever graduate and join her than I will probably be bound to her for the rest of my life. I mean we are together for two years, living together will make matters more serious and while I'm ok with the relationship I keep having these thgouhts that maybe I will never do other things besides her, I will never do a one night stand, never do a crazy summer, I will probably always be with her.
So, what can I do to calm down? I don't want to break up with her. I love her too much and I think that even if I break up and do the things I want to do, in the long run I will regret it. I'm stuck. We talk about everything in our relationship, we have a time were we tell each other what is bothering us, but I can't find the courage to talk to her about this. | I'm in a 2 year relationship with my gf. She will go to another country and we will keep a LDR with the intention of joining her when I graduate. She is my first one and I feel joining her will make me probably not do things that I want to do or things that I had planned to do. But I don't want to break up. Can somebody calm me donw? Give me some guidance? |
t3_2vsmof | pettyrevenge | Nobody hits my sister but me! | So this happened like when I was a kid. My mom was recently divorced so me and my sister had gone to a day camp while she was at work. It was fun we would go on field trips and do interesting things like make clay pots and paint them, I liked the camp. So we are having a good time making new friends. One day I hear that this kid we can call him "Arthur" punched my sister really hard, this pissed me off because I didn't really like him in the first place. He was super annoying and thought he was hot shit. I decided I would have to do something to get back at him. At the time we were learning how to make those plastic lanyard things that kids in the 90s always made [Example] I grabbed like 4-5 of these lanyard things went into the bathroom and flushed it down the toilet with a bunch of toilet paper. The toilets clogged and backed up into the building. I then went to the camp counselor and I told her that I went into the bathroom after Arthur and the floor was all wet. She then went into the bathroom and grabbed arthur and took him to another room. They called a plumber to come snake the line and he pulled out one of the lanyards. This sealed the deal and they blamed Arthur for the entire thing. His mom was called and he was not allowed to go on the field trips for like 2 weeks. It was glorious, and I didn't feel an ounce of remorse. | Annoying camp bully gets whats coming to him |
t3_u6tft | relationships | I think if I tell my SO it will be a deal breaker. But I need to tell him :( | To start off, I *did not cheat*. I realize the title sounds like that. Okay.
Me (f) and bf, 20. Dating 10 months.
He is very religious. He loves his church and it is the most important thing in his life.
I am not. I just don't see why it matters. If I had to label myself, I'd say I'm secular humanist. ( in case anybody is curious/doesn't know).
Now his church has this thing where you're not supposed to be with people outside of it. He assumes I'll join the church at some point (I have told him I'd consider it, but lately I know I never would).
If I tell him I never intend to join I'm pretty sure it'd be a deal breaker and he'd leave me. I love him and don't want to be apart, but should I tell him or just not mention anything? This doesn't affect any other aspects of our relationship. | Bf is religious wants me to be, but I don't think I ever will be. Tell him or no? |
t3_2njp2l | relationships | [19 F] girl sending me rude messages! Shocking! | I agreed to stay with my female friend at her parents house while they are away this weekend. It was arranged I would meet her there tomorrow.
She is a really sweet and friendly girl. Even though she was bullied because of being born without a thumb she never became mean or bitter and always treats everyone kindly. So given her sweet nature I didn't expect a message like...
Her: I want to f### you baby
I have absolutely no idea how to respond to this text message. I'm just kind of ignoring it for now.
I am honestly shocked. She seemed like such a good girl. I am sure that it's not normal for a 19 year old girl to be sending messages like this.
I can't cancel because I have already agreed to stay with her. Help! | 19 female friend sent me disgusting message. What to do? |
t3_1j1cr2 | relationships | I[22M/F] just got engaged to my bf [23/m]. I am terrified that we have moved too fast. | My bf and I have been together for 11 months and it has been amazing so far. We rarely fight and if we do its nothing serious and get resolved quickly. I have had 3 semi serious relationships before and none of them compare to the way I feel about my bf. My friends and his have been joking that we would be the first to get married for months. We have discussed a future together for sometime now.
I guess what I am saying is I shouldnt have been surprised when my bf popped the question. But I was, but also so excited. I knew I didnt want to say No and hurt my boyfriend so I said yes. There was a photographer taking pics of the whole thing and the first thing my bf did was call all his friends and tell them the good news that I said yes. And now all those pics are on facebook and it seem permanent, everyone knows and I'm panicking. I know I need to talk to him about this but obviously I need to be delicate. Does anyone have any advice on how to bring this up, what to say, and how to deal with everyone else if he stop being engaged...? | bf proposed and said yes because i love him and was excited but now am scarred that we are moving too fast!help! |
t3_3xt3xj | relationships | I [20 M] have been "talking/seeing" a [20 F], and recently slept with someone else. | Alright where to start.
I have recently been seeing someone for the past month now since I've been away at college and things seem to be going smoothly. We hang out mostly on the weekends and we tend to stay the night at each others houses, occasionally catch lunch or dinner, and go out with each other with our groups of friends. We haven't brought up dating at all, or even brought up being completely exclusive at all. We do however really like each other, and have been spending a lot of time with each other this last month.
I went back home over break and had drinks with a bunch of old friends at a party. Now I'm not one to say "oh i was so drunk blah blah blah" but i definitely had a good amount to drink and hooked up with someone that night. I woke up feeling absolutely guilty and its been on my mind ever since.
Every single person i talk to about this situation gives me somewhat of the same answer, saying "you two aren't dating, it shouldn't be a big deal." Personally, I've been in plenty of relationships and have NEVER cheated on my significant other. I know that if i was in the right mind set i would have never made the choice to do that, but at the same time I put myself in that situation to begin with.
My main concern is if i get back to school and we end up down the road and into a possible relationship. This is eating at me alive and i feel that if i broke the news to her, she would want nothing to do with me. By the same token, she could very well be doing the exact same thing I am since we never set these boundaries.
I'm asking for advice and hoping for something positive, I feel absolutely terrible. | talking to someone at school, hooked up with someone back home over break. |
t3_3pwbka | relationships | I [20 F] got asked out by a guy [?/M] that I've been crushing on for ages. He doesn't know that I've been creeping on him for half a year. | Hey all. My situation is pretty much the title, but I'll write everything in detail.
So I started having class with this guy in the middle of the year, and I've developed your standard textbook crush on him. He's funny, smart, very attractive etc. and he checks all the boxes.
I've never actually dated anyone before (mostly haven't had time + crippling fear of rejection) and I guess I've overcompensated by reading lots of romance novels, watched romcom movies, I would definitely say I have high expectations and fantasies of what romance should be for me. What this means is that I've developed a habit of taking creepshots of him every time I see him in class, to the point where the Hidden folder of my phone is mostly just photos of him. I usually share these with my best friends and we usually talk about how revealing his clothes were today, or something along that line.
I've also done your standard Facebook/Insta/Google stalking , and on occasion, when I haven't had anything better to do, I've followed him around from campus from a distance. I don't/didn't have any particular desire to take it further than that. I know that my behaviour is definitely not socially acceptable, but my friends think its funny and great.
Today was the last day of class, and he asked me out before we left, and I of course said yes. We've got coffee arranged in the next couple of days. I can't help but think about all the photos I have of him on my phone, and the fact that I've physically stalked him. I haven't told anyone else about him asking me out.
Do you think I should tell him? I don't think I'd take very kindly to anyone doing that to me, but I'm scared it might scare him off. He really is the epitome of what I've dreamed about (reading that back makes me feel like a lunatic). | I've had a crush on a boy in my class for a long time |
t3_36gnhw | personalfinance | Quick, job ideas for 50-year-old guy needing money fast? | What's the fastest way a 50-year-old guy could find a job in the peninsula of the Bay Area that'd pay enough to afford a low-end 2-BR apartment for me and my teenage kid?
I'm not very personable so would fail at obvious choices like retail, food service, or sales. Also not kind of scrawny and not in great health so construction is out.
I have some arcane tech-related skills, but been out of the game so long I'm a dinosaur. I have a car that sort-of-works but is not Uber-capable.
Kid is here, ex-wife is here, and moving more than 12 miles away is not an option for legal and logistical reasons. Good news is I can move out of the bay completely in a few years after said kid turns 18. So this is only a temporary thing. | old guy made some very stupid decisions, been divorced for years, now needs to make enough to have a roof over my head and support an almost-grown kid for a few years. |
t3_1tvtuw | relationships | Gf [F18] seems uninterested in being with me [M19]. | So for the past month or so I've been with this girl, we've been friends for a while but the problem is I don't feel like she's interested in being in a relationship at all.
First of all, neither of us have much relationship experience so that might be one of the problems. But ever since we've been in an "official" relationship she has almost always cancelled any sort of plans to hang out or do stuff with just the two of us. It really gets to me because several times she has claimed to not be able to do anything because of this or that and that she doesn't have money to do things but merely hours later will accept invitations to go out to dinner with her friend and her friend's boyfriend (yes, she invited me to go too the times it has occurred but I ended up saying no because it genuinely made me upset).
We almost always hang out in a group, usually 1 or 2 other couples, and she never shows any sort of affection (she REALLY doesn't like pda). She also always seems to be upset over something when we hang out. It's a bit hard to because I never feel wanted or anything and I feel like she's never comfortable around me.
She also gets upset about us not talking, but again, I never feel like she's comfortable just talking with me. I'm a quiet and reserved person for the most part but I do make an effort to talk to her about things, which she'll usually give me short answers and make me feel like I'm bothering her or she just doesn't want to talk. Lately her thing has been to tell me how she knows more about other people than me, and I understand that but I think one of the problems is we barely have conversations, she also rarely asks questions about me despite having given her a go ahead to ask anything she wants to know. I don't know what to do due to lack of experience. | Girlfriend [f18] of month+ doesn't seem like she wants to be in a relationship with me [m19]. Cancels plans, no affection, little talking, always upset when we're together. Neither have much experience with relationships. I would like to make it work but I'm not sure what to do. |
t3_515kqt | relationships | My girlfriend [20 F] brought religion into play and I [19 M] am an atheist | So it all started when I broke up with her once, it was childish, i needed space and panicked. I told her like 2 hours after we broke that I did a mistake and we ended up getting back together.
From there she felt like she wasn't giving enough to me, she said she felt like she was giving its best for the relationship and still it wasn't enough. Couple weeks go by and she tells me she doesn't wanna have sex anymore because of her religion (only after mariage). Ok... so from here you probably are calling me a sex addict , but we are still together. What frustrates me and gets me VERY MAD is that every time we kiss, or i touch her (i don't touch her ass or anything else cause it doesn't fell right and she noticed it and sometimes moves my hand there but i just take it of), i fucking remember of all this religion bullshit and flip, I wanna breakup with her but i really don't want to cause i kinda like her, ok i love her.. I told her to give me time and i will get just fine.
Like .. we went camping and we ended up having sex there, it was stupid, we had no protection but things just happened.
I don't know how to word my self or express what i'm feeling, what can I do? There is no going back it wouldn't be right! | What do you do when religion takes over your relationship? |
t3_v1u8v | dating_advice | Should I say this in a potentially new LDR? | I have always been very confident in my relationships, so asking the masses for advice is new to me, but this time there is distance involved and text/phone aren't the best mediums to read someone. I'm a 29 M, she's a 31 F and we've spent all of 3 days in person together a month ago. Yesterday on the phone I heard an under-breath quip that she was scared of putting herself out there for fear of being burned. I let it slide at the time, but I am considering texting her the following today.
"Hi. I wanted to take a quick second to address a hesitation I heard in your voice last night about 'putting yourself out there'. I thought you should know that you are not alone in this. I have left myself fully exposed at great peril as well. I also wanted you to know that I am not afraid with you, only excited..."
It seems like a small detail, but this is a very new situation and I don't want to over-reach. We also haven't really discussed our pasts yet.
So, Redditors, should I just let it slide or is it appropriate to address? | New potential LDR, should I respond to an off-hand concern about putting herself out there, or let it slide. |
t3_m3oyd | AskReddit | Reddit, what would you do in this situation? | A really close friend of mine came to me really upset. She told me that my best friend of 12 years has been aggressively hitting on her and cornering her trying to pressure her into something sexual. The problem is, not only does she have a boyfriend, but my best friend has been in a 2 year long relationship as well. I've helped him plan his proposal which is supposed to happen around May/June.
I haven't said anything to him because frankly I don't know what to say. I've been friends with him for so long, and he's never done anything like this before. Part of me feels like his girlfriend needs to know, but I know it's not my place. Do I remove myself from the situation and watch a marriage fall to bits, because my best friend is unfaithful? If I do get involved, confront my best friend, and tell him to cut the bullshit, would that really change anything? How do I know he won't just do the same thing again? I don't normally reach out to strangers, but I've been lurking Reddit enough to know that I'll get at least 1 reasonable opinion. | My best friend isn't being faithful to the girl he's about to marry. What should I do? |
t3_3khjoj | tifu | TIFU by making an insensitive comment during a Make A Wish foundation visit | So I've been browsing reddit for awhile now but just decided to create an account today to tell you all my fuck up.
This just happened a few hours ago...
So I am a game developer and today we had the incredible pleasure of being hosts to an awesome kid who, through the Make A Wish foundation, made a wish to visit our studio and be a game dev for a day! To think that a sick child's one wish is to be apart of my day to day is a very powerful thought. I told myself any chance I had to make sure this kid gets as much joy out of today as he possibly could, I would make sure to go out of my way to make it happen!
Fast forward to the studio play test where a large group of us, including the child and his parents were playing our game and having a good time. We wanted to make sure the kid had a blast so we may or may not have turned down our skill level a bit in order to make sure we were giving him a fully engaging experience.
Here is where I fuck up... after one of the matches was over, the kid had the top score on his team so I jokingly said "Hey, does your back hurt? you really carried your team". I immediately regretted opening my mouth since the joke was clearly lost in translation and the kid's reply was "Mostly in the morning, but not so much when I'm gaming". My heart sank. | I jokingly made a comment about a sick child's back hurting in reference to him carrying his team to victory. He didn't understand the joke and proceeded to answering my question in all seriousness. |
t3_mxv4w | relationship_advice | Oh, the things my ex doesn't know... | I want to talk to my ex again. We were together for about 2 years. We had a falling out.. Blah it's been a year he refuses to talk to me.
I am still good friends with his family. I hang out with his sister every time I go home, and I go out to eat with his mother whenever she is free when I go home.
I have not initiated any of this. It's not me trying to continue a relationship with him or anything.
Ex. I said happy birthday to his mother(just a simple message..literally said "Happy birthday." nothing more). She texted me back saying thank you for messaging her and it made her day because none of her children had said happy birthday to her and she liked hearing from me. She asked me to call her over the holidays when I am back in town so that she can hang out with me. and the last line of her text was "Love you always"
As far as my ex knows I don't associate with anyone in his family. His family denies talking to me. I feel like he should know the things going on, but I don't want him to hate his family because they still talk to me. Which is what he said he would do. Should I find a way to tell him? How? | My ex's family still talks to me often, but they are keeping it from him because he says he will hate them (which he will he's very stubborn..). Should I talk to him about it? Or talk to his family about letting him know? How? |
t3_ioo3q | AskReddit | Not sure what do. Help me reddit! | Hello fellow redditors. I come asking for advice. I am 26 years old living in North Jersey. I currently manage a very successful restaurant up here, but I am egregiously underpaid and overworked. I feel trapped in my life right now. I hate my job and my bosses, I am sort of stuck staying here because there are no other restaurants hiring my position, and I am not qualified really to do much else that would keep my standard of living where it is at the moment. I have been in the restaurant business 13 years (half my life) and just have a growing sense of anxiety about what to do with myself. There is a part of me that feels like I should just quit/get fired (for unemployment) and finish school. The problem with this however, is everyone in my family is sucessful and it would not be recieved well. I would most likely get no help. This is all compounded by my overwhelming debt. I was really stupid 4-5 years ago with credit and what not, and have essentially screwed myself for another 3 or 4 years. All this causes me to have anxiety and depression which affects not only my want to even be at work, let alone push the extra effort, but it affects my social life as well. I have lost contact with some of my good friends, and have trouble in relationships. I feel like I have no emotions sometimes. As I previously mentioned my parents would be of no help in this position as I would be most likely discarded like a deformed Spartan baby if I showed weakness like this, and my siblings are both younger and dont really have much experience to offer. I just dont know what do to. | Stuck in a rut with my life in general. Looking for advice. |
t3_nc13j | loseit | Reference pictures | Ok, so here's the deal. I've been losing weight for about 2 weeks now, because I'm sick of being fat. I want to set a goal for myself, but I'm not sure what kind of goal is realistic.
I mean, sure, I'll say "Yeah, I'll just go until I like the way I look in the mirror..." But then that leads to mental problems (anorexia) or settling for something not quite where I *REALLY* want it to be. If I have a number, say 155 lbs, that's a definite tangible goal to go for. But I'm not sure what a 155 lb person looks like at my height.
So my question is this, is there somewhere I can find a bunch of reference pictures? That is, given a certain height and weight, can I see what people look like at those numbers? I mean sure, everyone's different, but 2 men that are 5'8" 175 lbs are going to look pretty darn similar.
And if there's not a bunch of reference pictures already out there, can we go ahead and turn this thread into a repository for them? I'll make an imgur album for future use, I promise! | Reference pictures for a given height and weight, DO YOU HAVE THEM, MOTHERFUCKER?! |
t3_34hd1i | relationships | Me [18 M] with my close friend [18 F] And I'm very confused on how to tell her to get out of her abusive long distance relationship | My friend is an amazing girl who I have an absolutely massive crush on. We have been almost attached at the hip at college since we met a few months ago. I already confessed I liked her but she is in a long distance relationship.
She told me about three days ago that her boyfriend broke up with her but the problem is, she still likes him. He keeps telling her how he "might give her a chance" but he said its unlikely
That he will. She still loves her partner despite all this.
She told me he just keeps ignoring her to play GTA with a female friend he used to date. I just feel so terrible and I have no idea what to do. If anyone has any idea what I should do, if anything, please let me know. | Crush is still attracted to manipulative guy. Wat do |
t3_1qx9zo | relationships | I (30m) am letting my wife (31f) stay overnight with her ex | I'm regretting saying I'm ok with it, but I only agreed to it because I felt like she was challenging how much I trust her.
He's recently broken up with his girlfriend and she said she thought he was getting depressed and wanted to go spend time with him. To do so she'll be travelling for about an hour each way.
I brought up in the past how I was uncomfortable with how close they still were but she played it off as me being jealous. They broke up purely out of circumstances, and she admits that, so in my head they're both still attracted to each other and have no reason not to still have feelings for each other. | I'm worried my wife has tricked me into giving her a free pass with her good-terms ex so i won't seem like a jealous husband.. |
t3_2gnmwm | loseit | Hunger pain | I'm getting what I can only assume are hunger pains.
I'm on a 1700 calorie diet, working out five days a week, I'm 5' 8" I weigh 182 and I'm 24 and female with 30% body fat (based on skin fold). I don't track my water, but I drink it all day. I avoid dairy because I'm lactose intolerant and I take all my vitamins on a full stomach with lots of water.
This isn't the first time I've cut calories, and in the past with no exercise I at one point cut down to 1400 calories. I've never experienced this before.
It's so bad it makes me want to double over sometimes between meals, and wakes me up at night. I know this is hunger and not something else because it subsides after I eat, usually the first sip of a cold drink after feeling them for a while and right before my next meal is excruciating painful, and I can feel it in my upper abdomen (where my stomach is). It comes in waves, some longer and harder than others, and it makes me feel sick to my stomach (not hungry).
Is this what I think it is? Is it normal? Will it pass? | I hurt, but I'm not starving myself. Watsupwitdat? |
t3_49q3dg | relationships | I [21F] want to go home, but my boss just offered me an amazing position. | I honestly have no idea where else I could post this, but I feel like I'm getting torn apart.
So about a year ago, I moved to Florida with my ex boyfriend. We broke up just last week after everything fell to shit. Anyway, while I was here, I found an amazing position at a local dealership that put me in management.
Well, I planned to leave after my lease was up in May and go home to Michigan for good. All my friends and family are there, it's what I love. I miss them more than anything. Plus the weather and the beauty of it.
So today, my boss comes into my office and tells me that they want to create an assistant manager's position for me where I would basically be doing what he does and be on my way to a Sales Manager. This is huge because I would be getting paid a ton of money and I would be getting experience to be able to return to Michigan to step into upper management at a bigger company.
I would stay in Florida for a few years (about 3-4) and then return and he's aware of this, so it's not like I would just get in to the job and then leave in 4 years with no warning.
But I'm having such a ridiculously hard time thinking about what I want to do. I feel so burdened with stress because career wise, this is the right choice for me. My boss even told me to go back to Michigan and get whatever I needed to get out of my system and then come back when I'm ready and it's here for me.
But just thinking about coming back here and leaving everyone again just kills me inside. I feel like I'm in this terrible void of despair.
But I also feel like I would regret it if I didn't take advantage of this.
What do I do? | I'm extremely homesick and was going to leave my job and go back to Michigan for good, but my boss in Florida offered me an incredible opportunity to go into upper management and be getting paid a lot more. He even said I could go back for a while and then return to this position? I'm having a hard time with the thought of leaving my family and friends again. What do I do? |
t3_21q2te | relationships | Me [15 M] with my best friend [17 F] of 1 year - I suck at making people feel better. | So, I have this friend. Let's just call her Sue. We are always hanging out and when we aren't hanging out, we are texting. For about a year, we have always been like super happy hanging out at school and stuff.
Lately, she has had random silent/sad times that usually just last for the morning. Also, her texting has been brief a lot too.
Keep in mind that she really doesn't do dating or anything. She has a fear of relationships due to some things that happened a long time ago.
We are in band together and recently we had a competition that we went to. She plays a school owned baritone and she accidentally left it at the school which we had the competition at, and that is about 4 hours away from where we are. That kinda just set her off completely. When I ask her how she is now, she says that she feels nothing. I tell her that the baritone thing isn't that big of a deal and that no one is mad at her about it. She says it isn't just about that, and won't tell me what else is wrong. On top of all of her emotional troubles, she also is becoming ill.
She is absolutely miserable and it pains me for someone so dear to me to be going through this, especially since I have no idea what to do to help her feel at least a little bit better.
How can I? | friend is going through lots of troubles and feels apathetic |
t3_1hw8ia | jobs | For those that need a pick me up. | I voluntarily left my steady job in February after being there for 6 years. There were several reasons for my leaving but lack of communication between departments, non-competitive pay and low morale across the board were some of the biggies. I was lucky enough to have a wife who supported in my decision and actually motivated me to take the plunge knowing that I was capable of something more. I have a tendency to underestimate myself and given the current job market I was more than a bit hesitant to quit and would have been comfortable staying put indefinately but I did it. We managed to get by for 5 months with just her salary and the vacation time I sold back when I left. Well, after applying to about 100 jobs and going on only 4 interviews I received a job offer last week for a position with more than a 40% increase from what I was making, awesome benefits and 10 minutes from home. I gave the interviewer my salary range and they actually surpassed it on the offer! I'm very excited to start soon and I can't imagine the positive influence this decision will have on my family going forward. I'm not saying that everyone is in a situation where they can afford to leave their current position on the off chance that there is something better but if you have other people telling you that you are capable of much more, listen to what they have to say. Reassess your situation every year and do not let yourself get too comfortable! It may change your life for the better. | California Veteran |
t3_1ntdst | relationships | Me [19 F] with my sister [20 F]. She's in a morally interesting relationship, and I don't know how to act around it. | My sister was in a relationship with one guy for 2-3 years, ending long distance, and misery. She's been far more promiscuous and a little like a chameleon for the last year. She doesn't know how to be herself without someone there to appreciate it closely. She's been with a guy for a month now and they get along famously except he's in a long distance relationship with another girl. My sister says it's understandable because they have to know they'll work; he want's to be sure of my sister before he breaks up with his girlfriend.
I love my sister to the moon and back, but I'm afraid she's going to end up with someone who walks all over her. She's all wrapped up a guy who doesn't think enough of her to break up with a girl he dated for a week before college started. Whenever she talks happily about this guy she knows I think poorly of it. She thinks it's bad too but still won't change it. Should I try to talk to her about her life, or should I delete this post and back my nose out of her business? | I'm worried my sister is setting herself up to be walked all over and it's straining our sisterly bonds. I don't know if I'm too nosy. |
t3_30vig8 | relationships | Me [22 F] with my dad [51 M] not sure how to feel, should I say something? | My parents have been split up since I was about 3 years old and both have since remarried. After switching programs once I realized I wasn't happy where I was going, I'm finally graduating in the next couple months. One problem however is that there is a limited number of seats available for family members.
Graduates only get two seats, and while we can request more its pretty hard to get any more than 3. So I figured to keep it fair I would get seats for my fiancé, my mom and my dad. After figuring this out I called my dad and when we started talking about it I said if my step mom wants to come she obviously can, but I explained the limitations on the number of seats we can get. But I told him how when my fiancé graduated (same school) they had a separate room set up that televised the graduation that the rest of the family can sit in. My grandparents, fiances mom, step dad and others will be going there!
Almost immediately he started saying how he would just sit with my step mom in that separate room because she won't want to be alone (this is all his words! not hers). Before I go any further I understand that it would be a bit weird, but its not for a whole day...it would probably be for a 1 1/2 hour max.
I can't help but feel a bit upset that even though he will "see" me graduating, he won't actually be there. Not really sure what to do, if I should even bother saying something or if he's completely justified in his thinking. | Limited number of seats at graduation, dad seems like he would rather sit in televised room with step mom than be in the ceremony room itself. |
t3_1giec4 | relationship_advice | I (F28) need advice on houseguests (F19 & M22) | I met a couple about a week ago and we became quick friends. A couple days after I met them, the people they were staying with decided they wanted their house back and kicked them out that night. They are from another state and know no one in the area, and they have a 5 month old son, so my roommate and I agreed to let them stay with us for a couple days. I've helped them call around to shelters in the area and most are full. The one's that have room want paperwork like the baby's birth certificate which is in their home state.
The reason I'm asking for advice is they've become a bit of an inconvenience in the last couple days. They've helped out with food and toilet paper and things like that, but the baby is loud and they argue a lot and have woken up my daughter and my roommate a few times. The part that worries me the most is that he is short with the baby and she hits him a lot (the bf, not the baby). I understand getting frustrated when you're tired and a baby is screaming, but this morning I saw him get loud and speak loudly (not exactly yelling, but almost) to the baby telling him to be quiet, and then he put his hand over the baby's mouth. When the gf woke up, they started fighting and she punched him (I don't remember why), stopped to argue and they both called each other names, then she punched him a few more times, he punched her in the arm a couple times, they stopped to argue some more, then she punched him several more times and he got up and came to sit at the table with me. He said something about how he was tired of her always hitting him and he didn't like being abused, and she mocked him saying "oh yeah, you're SO abused".
Anyways, I'm not sure what to do. They have nowhere to go so I don't want to tell them to just leave, and I don't know how much me talking to them is going to help. What do you suggest? | Let some friends stay with us, she is abusive towards him and he is not gentle with the baby. What do I do? |
t3_3gemgq | relationship_advice | [28/m] I hooked up with my collegue [21/f] over the past year. She got an official bf but we still have feelings for each other. | Ok here is some background.
I'm [28/m] an average looking, shy, reserved person when it comes to relationships, but I'm also a latin dance instructor so I appear to be quite loud, confident, and the life of the party in order to get students pumped up, but really I'm still quite shy and don't initiate or make a move unless I'm absolutely certain the girl is interested in me.
Last year I ended up hooking up with my dance partner around Xmas - which she initiated, just before I had to leave the country for about a month which kinda killed the buzz so the relationship went back to normal. Fast forward another couple months and the same thing happens, we hook up and go for a couple of weeks before she needs to leave for 2 months and that kills it again. I was busy when she came back and in the meantime she ended up getting a bf (which she didn't really tell me about), but since I have to see her quite often, it's clear we still have feelings for each other, and I'm kinda stuck with her for the rest of the year at least, probably longer.
Looking at what's the best way to progress forward since I still have to work with this girl and I am not interested in being the reason for a relationship breakdown. I've had breakups before but they've been clean so it was easy to avoid the person, this is just messy and don't know what to do. | Have history with my dance partner and both of us still have feelings for each other even though she now has a bf. Don't want to be a homewrecker. |
t3_3l7fk3 | relationships | My live-in boyfriend [29/M] of 10 months is too poor to take me [33/F] out on dates so we just stay home; he plays video games, I nap or read or watch tv. | I already have depression (I'm on meds for it) and I feel like the isolation isn't helping. All of my friends have moved away, so I don't really have anyone to hang out with besides him. I know I need a life outside of the relationship and I want one, but I don't know how to get one. I work 40+ hours a week.
He pays rent from his savings. He's in school and hopes to start Lyfting soon once he gets his insurance straightened out (he moved from out of state a year ago and is switching everything over to our current state). If I want to go out, I have to plan it and pay. I adore him and feeling like this makes me feel bad about myself; like I'm being selfish. But man, I want him to take me out for drinks, or a picnic, or something romantic.
Help me fix this. | I have no social life except for my boyfriend who is too poor to take me out so we just stay home and I'm bored and depressed. |
t3_11ek35 | relationship_advice | (21/M) Would this be really creepy? | Story time: I go to a community college in Canada, in one of my class there is this cute girl (imo) that I find myself always looking at. Now she's one of those really quiet types and keeps to herself. But for weeks now, I can't seem to take my mind off her. I am also a socially awkward penguin sadly enough. Not that I studder or can't speak in full sentences - in contrast I've been told I was a great public speaker in all my class presentations, but talking to people on a one on one basis is something I really suck at. Now lets get into the question. For a while I tried looking for her through all the social medias and couldn't find her. Today I realized my mistake, she uses a nickname on her facebook. But after creeping her profile I noticed that she doesn't post anything about herself and is inactive on-line. How do I make something happen? We have different friends, live in different areas, and both really quiet. All in all we are just two people who happened to land in the same boring class (English for professional communications). One day, while driving out of the school parking lot, I saw her waiting for the bus that goes towards the same direction that I also take daily and was going to roll down my window and ask if she wanted a ride. But does she even know I exist? Wouldn't that be extremely creepy? I've worked on in-class questions as a group with her once and tried to strike conversation but she seemed so shy that talking was going to be the death of her. But if I add her on facebook to start chatting with her, would she not wonder how I managed to find her? Since she uses a pseudonym for her name. Oh what to do! I feel like I'm attracted to her like no others before. The last time i've dated was 3 years ago when it all fell apart and made me doubt all relationships, but after seeing her i'm beginning to be able to feel something again. What are my options? | Is adding someone (on fb) who doesn't know you online really creepy? When you know that she doesn't like to be found by others. Is there any other ways? |
t3_16tr9d | relationship_advice | Messy situation 25(M) & 23(F), ending after 8 years | Last night my girlfriend told me it was over. Apparently she has been feeling this way for some time, and told me a story about how she had held back tears on New Years Eve because it meant she was going to be trapped with me for another year.
I don't think the issue is that I am a terrible person, so much that our relationship stopped being healthy some time ago. My girlfriend admits to having used me for some time, and certainly to an extent, I her. Her explanation of it makes sense - our relationship's core was one of convenience rather than affection. We essentially grew into adults together, and we're so heavily invested in each others' lives that we have developed dependencies on each other. I for example, do not have my license despite being 25, while she doesn't cook, clean or otherwise move from her computer on days when she doesn't have commitments.
Here's where the issues commence. We've both started new jobs with the same firm, and it's a fairly awesome position that we're both lucky to have gotten. We will be working in the same room as each other every day. We're also in a lease together, which neither of us can afford to break from. We also have a dog, which we both love dearly. We basically share an identity, with both of us having the same friends, interests, etc.. It would be impossible for me to go out somewhere with friends, and have them not ask where my now-ex is.
I really have no idea what I should do, or how I should handle this situation. For some reason, I still have deep affection for this girl, and I would rather things not change, both because of my love for this girl, and that I have never experienced adult life without her. | 25M is being dumped by 23F that is essentially a Siamese-twin. |
t3_378b7r | relationships | I (M21) am not sure if I was abused as a child (M5-7)? | fter doing some serious reflecting on my life and looking at some of the patterns of my behavior, I have come to wonder whether or not I was sexuality abused when I was young?
Get ready, reddit, this is gonna be weird.
I have a pee fetish. It's pretty pervasive and I like it more than actual sex. I know it's weird and I am certainly not proud of it. I looking back on my life, there is a lot of evidence suggesting this has been pretty pervasive since I was young. It's gotten to the point where it's actually messed with some of my relationships throughout the years, both with guys and girls.
After doing a lot of soul searching, I think I hit on something. I remember being young, like 5 or 6 when my dad suggested having "lightsaber" fights with our pee streams. As a 5 year old, this didn't strike me as weird, because, well, I was 5. This happened for a few years, and got to the point where some uncles would also have these "lightsaber" fights with me.
This went on for a while, and that's when I began to become viscerally excited by the thought of pee. It started coming out in my drawings and doodles, conversations with people, fantasy stories... You get the idea. Even now, I get excited at the thought of pee. It's weird, and I know it's weird, and it makes me uncomfortable, but I can't help it.
I was also emotionally abused for the next 10 or so years after this started, so I don't know where one timeline ends and the next begins.
So I'm at the point now where I don't know what to think of it all, or if it's normal, or what. I'm looking for your thoughts.
So, reddit, what do you think? Is this abuse? | Had "lightsaber" fights with pee streams with my dad and a few uncles for a few years. Developed a pervasive and intrusive pee fetish. Is this sexual abuse or am I misinterpreting normal behavior? |
t3_tn6k1 | relationships | I'v lost my bestfriend and i don't know why | We'll call her Emily she's 17 and i'm 19, we've been really close best friends for around 5 years, very close to a relationship.
She stopped talking to me for like four days, wouldnt text me back was reading my bbms and just chosing not to respond. I went out on saturday night, got fairly drunk and confronted her about it, and then i kinda told her to f*** off. I apologised the next morning, she had already deleted me off fb and bbm.Im feeling really bad about it, There was this bear figure i had and she always said she wanted it, so i drove to her house about a 30 minute drive, about 6am got up early, left it outside with a little note, about a week later she turns up at my house with the bear
says she dosent want it
but she was really nice.... like we were still best mates, she wanted to hug me, told me she had left kyle (her boyfriend) and said " text me later ok?"
so i waited a bit then text her
no reply
i waited a few more days, text her again
no reply
i text her asking why she said to text her then completley blanks me still, she goes on about how shes really busy (bear in mind shes texting another friend as well, so she isnt "busy")
so i text her again
no reply
blocked me off fb too
I don't understand what iv done to warrant completley cutting me out of her life.
Id really appreciate some help | seems that best friend for five years has cut me out of her life because i said "f*** off" and has no intention of talking to me again. |
t3_2l2zte | relationships | Me [21 M] with my friend[19 F] who I am trying to ask out but keeps getting cryptic responses. | Ive been hanging out with this girl for the past couple of months (never alone, always with mutual friends) and it seems like she is into me, but whenever I make a move, I get put down.
For example, this past weekend we went to a Halloween party together. At the end of the night she drove me and a couple of other people to her house so that I our cab could be cheaper. As I was leaving I gave her a hug and said "We should do lunch sometime." She said something like, "sure" and like squeezed my bicep. So the next day I follow up on that lunch offer. This is the transcript...
Me: Come eat lunch with me on Monday.
Her: When?
Me: 12-1
.......... (2 hours later)
Her: I dont have class until 2:30 tho
Me: Lame
........... (8 hours later)
Her: How is that lame??
Me: I got class at 1. You coming or no?
Her: Lol what?
Me: Idk
I have no idea what that means. Is she playing hard to get? Or is she not interested.
FYI: One of her good friends (who happens to be my good friend) told me that he doesnt think she is into me but hasn't talked about it with her. | Can't tell if a girl is interested. Almost all of my friends tell me she is. I think she is but whenever I ask her to hang out, I get non replies or cryptic responses. Thinking about giving up. |
t3_1c6wtc | AskReddit | What is the worst way someone has ever taken advantage of you? | A year ago I fell for one of those crappy pyramid schemes.
I was taking time off university (without any real plan of going back) and working a part-time job. My life was moving by slowly, problems at home sucked, I was broke and above all I just wanted a way out.
A 'friend' who I haven't spoken to since sophomore year of high school messages me on facebook to tell me about his 'business' and how I would be such a great addition to it. He played the whole hey buddy, buddy remember the old times bull shit. He came by my place every other day, took me out for beers and finally convinces me to go with him on his 'awesome business trip' to North Carolina and promising that the business would take off afterwards.
Come the day of the trip and I find out it is a 14 hour coach bus ride from Toronto to Charlotte NC, all the food he promised that would be covered wasn't, and him and all his friends shunned me the entire time I was on this trip (they even had me sleep on the floor of the hotel room for 2 days).
We come back from the trip and he stopped making efforts to see me and barely messaged me on facebook. He basically convinced me to spend all this money to sign up for his 'business', took me on some trip then just threw me to the side afterward.
Needless to say I cut him off, I ended up getting my shit together and going back to school (and I'm doing well now), and I am still paying off the $800 dollars that I racked up on my credit card from a year ago. | guy I knew pulled the good-ol' friend card on me, convinced me to join his 'business' then stopped contacting me after I signed up for it. |
t3_3f4a9s | weddingplanning | [rant] FMIL informs me of new guests she was expecting me to invite 1 month after invites went out | I just needed to blow off some steam so I am here.
FMIL asked me for a guest list for wedding shower she is planning. Great. I send her a small list and include the full guest list for the wedding on the second sheet in excel, saying that she can move anyone over to the short wedding shower list if she deems them "missing" [Background: we are having a destination wedding and most people don't live in our home town, so I made a list of family and people from our town since it's short notice to the shower and I don't wanna waste paper sending invites to people I know won't be able to come out]. Two hours later she e-mails me back and says she wants to include another couple. FH texts me (this exchange was all on the e-mail address we share, so he was reading them too) and says that these people she mentioned are from some midwestern state (and I've never heard of them before). So she tells me she will get me their address and I e-mail back to ask if she intended for us to invite them to the wedding, as well as the shower. Of course she did! Never mind that we are having a plated dinner, and RSVPs are due in a month, and invites have been out for a month, and she has NEVER mentioned them the MULTIPLE times we asked her for names and addresses of people to invite. NOPE! She just nonchalantly threw that one out there. Almost every person/address I got from her required a spell check/address check through white pages. There were even a few that we just didn't send because she refused to help me get the correct address. She's not helping pay for much so it pisses me off when we send out invites from her list and get them back, cancelled, and she thinks we should contact them (through magic?) to get their correct address.
Sorry for small wall of text. | FMIL sends me address for someone that she has never mentioned before 1 month after invites have gone out. |
t3_2wcyu6 | relationships | Me [20F], my parents and the guy I've just started dating -- heads up: Culture Conflict | Ok so I'm probably going to get a lot of criticism, people telling me that I'm an adult and I can do whatever I want, blah, blah, blah but please consider that I am only 20 and am still going to be dependent on my parents for the next few years. When I'm under their roof, I have to follow their rules.
Now, I've just started dating this guy and even though we've only been on one date, I like him a lot and I think he likes me because he's already asked me for a second date. He seems like a genuinely good guy and it might get serious.
On the other hand, my parents are Arabic and Roman Catholic. They are extremely conservative and have told me that they do not want to meet any guys until I get my career started by getting into professional school. They are not *at all* open to meeting anyone until that point because they don't want to take it seriously and I guess meeting the parents is a pretty serious milestone. I'm going to be applying everywhere this upcoming school year. My grades and curriculars are great, however, there is always a possibility I may not get in this year and have to wait another year to reapply.
What would you do in my situation? My biggest fear is to keep going and then, once we get to a point where he wants to meet my parents, have to drop all this on him. I want to be honest with him right from the start but I don't want him to think that I'm already taking this too seriously. I'm just being cautious. Girls, what would you do in my situation and guys, what would you want a girl to do if she were in this situation? | Started dating Guy, might get serious. Parents don't want to meet anyone until I'm in professional school. Possible future heartbreak. Please give me guidance. |
t3_3dfuuo | relationships | She [20/F] is lonely, wants closer friends. So do I [20/M]. Live in different cities, off for the summer. | I'll try to keep this brief.
I go to university with this girl. We're friends.
I follow her on Tumblr. Every now and again, she'll post things; varying from little rants/vents about her day, to selfies, to personal thoughts. Standard stuff. And every now and again people respond. Some with encouraging words, others – though very few – not so much.
The issue is that I am confused. The messages that she conveys sounds as though she is alone and need friends. I'm not assuming that, either. She explicitly said "I am losing some once good friends," "I feel alone", "I will miss them but they probably won't miss me".
First off, she knows I follow her on Tumblr. But I'm not sure if I should text her and say "Hey, saw your Tumblr post, what's up?" Namely because (I find) texting is a very poor form of communicating deeper stuff. The stuff that is much better said in person. And secondly because I've done that before with her and our text convos tend to be very short.
To make things more difficult, she also lives in a city that is about two hours by train. I don't think that it's really viable to travel all the way there just for a coffee or something. She also has a boyfriend, so throw that in there…
Secondly I feel the same way. I don't have any friends that I can talk to on a regular basis over Facebook, WhatsApp, etc. Moreover, I am seldom invited to anything. That is something I am working on over the summer, but one that I will get to in due course.
She is a good friend. And I want to be better friends. But I feel like I'm getting mixed messages. I don't know what to do. I think I should give her a call and maybe see how that works out, though I rarely call anyone other than my parents tbh.
Any advice? | Friend lives in a city two hours away and wants closer frineds. I'm in the same boat, but we can't meet this summer. Not sure if I should text, call (etc.) |
t3_17w4l4 | relationships | I [21m] am confused over my SO's (21f) sexual history. | We've been going out for roughly a year and so far it's been amazing. However, there are times when I get in a bit of a funk over her past.
Over her lifetime she's had several sexual partners... long term, short term, friends with benefits, one night stands. She's been a far more sexually-oriented person than I (I've only had a few previous partners), but I don't begrudge her that. I want to clarify - It's not a jealousy thing, I have absolutely no interest in having anonymous sex or being single again. As far as I can begin to understand how I feel, it's not about myself.
Lately, when a tidbit of her past comes up in conversation, or I find myself thinking about it, I sometimes feel a very physical pain and revulsion about it. I know and I've been reassured about the security of our relationship, and I'm confident about both our feelings for each other, so I know there is no danger in her leaving or whatever. I just don't know why it would be so painful at this stage to think about her being with other men.
There seems to be no reason for my pain. I like to think I'm sexually enlightened - our sex life is fantastic and with plenty of experiment and novelty, I understand people treat sex more liberally than I do personally, and I don't normally let other people's preferences affect me. I'm a live and let live kind of person. I just wish I could forget about this and get on with my life and my relationship.
Sorry about how disjointed and confused this sounds, I'm writing this pretty much as I'm thinking. Any feedback or ideas would be appreciated. Just ask if you need further information or clarity from me. Thanks. | SO has colourful sexual history, I don't feel I should mind but confused about how much it affects me. |
t3_z7d7k | relationships | I love my girlfriend but I'm not "in love" with my girlfriend. (17m 17f: 9 months) | Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 9 months now. The relationship has been a very smooth one. There have only been a few fights about things that we disagree on but were good at making up.
She is a sweet girl that I get along with really well, but unfortunately that's all there is to her. She doesn't play sports or have any other hobbies; she basically goes to school and then goes home. Ive tried to get her to do things like sports, video games, yoga, and other types of hobbies but she takes no interest in any of it.
Its this lack of ambition that is really starting to detach me from her. I like do play Starcraft, play sports, bike, hike, and various other things. Everyday is becoming more and more painful because I cant figure out anything that we can do together besides hang out and talk.
I noticed that I'm starting to lose my sex drive for her as well. When we first started dating sex was fun and we really got into it, but now that I'm starting to not be "in love" with her I found that the sex isn't fun as fun for me anymore.
The hard part for me is that there really is no reason for me to break up with her because we get along well, we haven't cheated, and we haven't done anything to hurt the other. The only reason why I would break up with her is because I've lost interest in her. I'm not sure if i'm crazy for thinking this or if this is natural. | I've lost interest in my girlfriend; I'm not in love with her anymore. |
t3_28tkk9 | relationship_advice | I [27M] did some snooping and found my boyfriend [35M] cheating. How can I verify and confront him with it? | My partner and I have been together for over seven years. Just this year, I took a job outside the country that separated us such that we see each other every three months. It sucks, but we promised we would work hard on our relationship and stay faithful to each other despite the distance. Well, I have been faithful. He on the other hand, not so much. We've had a history of him cheating and me taking him back (I've gotten over it and I guess it's okay if he wants an open-ish relationship), but what gets me every time is how sneaky he tries to be and how he lies to me about it.
I had a hunch that something was weird with him lately, so I signed up for a hookup website and recognized his email. I got his attention with a fake profile, and he sent me a picture of his man-bits. I'm certain it's him, but I feel like if I confront him with this, he's going to just say it isn't him and that I'm crazy. Been there, done that.
The thing is that I would probably forgive him for whatever he's done (and it seems like enough to put most people over the edge). However, if he's not going to hold up his part of the "staying faithful" bargain, then I'm not either. In my mind, that's only fair.
What I'm hoping is that someone can comment whether this is enough "proof" to rub in his face. I don't want to end the relationship really, unless I find something really disturbing, but something needs to be done to either stop his behavior or to change our little arrangment. | Together for a long time and now doing long-distance. He's cheating but we agreed not to do that. Should I confront and get jiggy with it myself? |
t3_eq193 | needadvice | 4-D Ultrasound Botique.. Might be screwing us | I was laid off from my IT position at a constuction company here in Tulsa at the end of July. My wife was 4 months pregnant at the time. Before I was laid off a very nice lady I worked with gave us a gift certificate for 4-d ultrasound at a local shop called "The baby Bump" She got the certificate at a charity auction for a school for childern with learning diabilities. The botique kept rescheduling our appointmnt citing problems with machine and now the botique has closed it's doors and we didn't get the 4-d ultrasound. I have emailed the owner a couple of times. I've also been in contact with some one at the store via text message for the last month. The person answering the texts keeps telling us that they will give us the monetary value of the gift certificate so we can get the 4-d done elsewhere. that has been going on for a month. at first it was we will send out a check and now it is we will pay pal you the money. Do I have a right to be upset with them eventhough I didn't give any money for the certificate. Is there any action I can take other than bitching to complete strangers on reddit? | Had gift card for service, service was not rendered.... I'm not happy |
t3_3cdpbn | relationships | Me [29 M] with my wife [28 F] of 4 years, and I'm falling apart and don't know what to do. | My wife and I have been together for 5 years, married for 4, and love each other very much. We have a 4 month old together as well.
After the first year of marriage, I started physically falling apart. I won't go into details as my issues are very rare, and I don't want people to know... but long story short I'm on a ton of meds, pain meds, other meds, and anti-depressants.
I had to go on the A-D's because my sickness was too much to handle, even though my wife was very supportive.
Within the last few months, I got laid off from my job, so my wife is the sole breadwinner, and her parents are having to financially support us, which makes me feel like a complete failure.
I keep finding myself being short with her, she keeps telling me I'm going days without even smiling. I just don't know what to do!
I'm trying to find a new job, but getting nowhere fast. All I'm looking for here is some emotional support, and/or advice from you all, on how to change, or whatnot.
Thanks for your time. | I'm falling apart mentally and physically, and I don't know what to do! I could use advice! |
t3_13m0jn | tifu | TIFU by getting fired. | I work at a tutoring center. I've always felt the vibe that the manager didn't like me, but I'm efficient and she had no real reason to fire me. Well, Monday I came in around three and was mentally exhausted from working 9-2 at my other job. For me, the cure to this is music, so I slipped in some headphones while grading (my job is literally to sit in the back corner and grade).
Got an email about an hour after I got off, around 9, saying that I was placed on a 48 hour "cooling period" because my "behavior was unacceptable." I replied saying that I had no idea and wouldn't do it again, but added in "I would have appreciated it if you had let me know, as I had no basis for knowing."
The email tonight (48 hours later) said that I am fired. I am so frustrated, as she did this all over email and didn't approach me at all. Also, WTF is a 48 hour cooling period? Who does that? I've penned a response email, but am going to sleep on it as I don't want to do anything really stupid. | wore headphones at work, got fired. |
t3_2ig6ao | college | Thinking of withdrawing due to major depression/anxiety, need some opinions | I just got out of the local hospital's psych ward last Friday because I planned on killing myself (had a noose made, last day planned, letters wrote). I'm thinking I want to withdraw because Its one of the biggest stressers in my life and I don't know if I can handle it. Even the thought of having to finish this semester is enough to send me into a sharp downwards spiral that isn't easy to recover from.
The main problem would be finances. I'd end up owing ~$8000 that I'd need to start paying back in 6 months. I'm planning on getting my CNA license and jobs here are pretty plentiful, but it'd still take quiet awhile to pay that back. I've enough money to support myself until January, but the best scenario would be that I have a job that pays ~$9/hr (small-ish town Missouri, cost of living is relatively low)
Everyone of my family says they'd be disappointed in me, but understand just how bad it was getting since I was admitted to the hospital. | Planned on hanging myself. Doing better after stay at psych ward, but I think I'm not ready to handle school. Mainly worried about the ~$8000 I'd owe. Plan on getting my CNA which will lead to ~$9/hr job. Don't want to disappoint family. |
t3_4m6qzy | relationships | Me [22 F] with my best friend [23 F] I found her boyfriend of 2 years on a dating website | Hey reddit,
I've used online dating off and on for a a couple of years and I know many friends who've met significant others though that. Last night I reactivated my account after a year and a half and while browsing through my matches I saw my best friend's boyfriend was online. I screenshotted his profile and confronted him, demanding an explanation (I wanted to get an answer before going to my friend, also I am friends with her bf). He claimed that the website had emailed him his account was expiring and that I shouldn't be worried and then disabled his account and screenshotted the confirmation page to me.
My best friend is going through some shit right now and I don't want to start trouble if this isn't an issue. Can you show up as online if you haven't been active in a while? I can't imagine he'd try to cheat on her, they've been together for over 2 years and this dude is madly in love with her and told her she is the love of his life (which I know anyone could say). It wouldn't make any sense like he just doesn't seem like that kind of person. I'm hypersensitive to cheating because I've been cheated on in the past so I jumped on this the moment after I found his profile. He told me I was free to tell my friend what happened because he doesn't want to keep things from her. The situation makes me uneasy and I feel like I need to tell her and let her figure out what she wants to do about it. I just feel really bad about adding extra stress to her right now. | found my best friend's bf on a dating website. Is there any way it's not what it looks like? |
t3_lvag1 | dating_advice | Girlfriend of two years found chat log of me talking to another girl. | Yes, I did it. I fucked up, big time. I'm 21 male, my girlfriend is 22. We have been dating for over two years and I fucked up so bad. I was talking to another girl that I almost dated instead of my current girlfriend. (I guess I felt like I wanted to see if I made the choice of picking the right girl?) I have been talking to her since July on facebook saying stupid shit that would hurt me if I read my girlfriend said to another guy. Just stupid shit like I wonder if I made the right choice? Oh how's your sex life. Just disgusting stuff I should of never asked. But like I said, I think I was just trying to see if I made the right choice in picking my girl. I know I made the right choice, but I feel so bad because my girlfriend found everything and is completely devastated. She is still my girlfriend though. She still loves me. It's only been about 3 weeks since she found out. She is telling me she is feeling different though, and her love for me might be changing, she's unsure. I wanna prove to her so bad that I wanna be with her. I seriously know this is the biggest mistake of my life, and I need to win her back. How can I do this? | Girlfriend of two years found chat logs of me talking to another girl about stupid shit basically I cheated on my girlfriend but only verbally. I just feel guilty and her feelings might be changing. I need her back. |
t3_2wpyrf | tifu | TIFU trying to make an icicle fall using my horn | I was sitting in the Kroger parking lot with my son waiting for my wife to return from grocery shopping. I backed my car into a parking spot facing a shopping cart corral. There was a huge icicle hanging from the top of it, and my son was determined if I honked it would fall. I explained that wouldn't work and after about 7 minutes of arguing about it I decided to prove it. I turned my head looking into the backseat directly into the devils eyes and yelled "Watch!". I blared the horn for a good 10 seconds and my son just starts laughing hysterically. I then say "Told you" before even turning my head back. My son was laughing for a good 20-30 seconds. I kept asking him what's so funny, and kept reminding him it didn't fall. He wouldn't tell me what was so funny and about 30 seconds later some guy comes running up to the car. He bends over in front of my car and pulls up some lady who is in her late 70s.
Long story short the lady is unable to get up and an ambulance is called. The lady ending up breaking her hip, and it was entirely my fault. When I honked my horn it caught her by surprise. She fell and slipped on ice, and from what I'm told the lady is looking into a lawsuit. I'm hoping she decides to sue Kroger's instead of me (The parking lot had ice on it). | Honked my horn scaring some old lady into falling and breaking her hip. |
t3_28gz5a | loseit | Restarting my journey | (M/32/216 lbs)I had posted in this subreddit once before to show my [progress] I was really happy with the results, but my weight loss was mostly because I got so much into boxing, I used to train at least 2 hours at least 4 days a week. I basically made no changes to my diet (I did notice I would eat less), so when I got injured and couldn't train anymore any semblance of good eating habits were gone. So I regained pretty much all the weight I lost (about 15 Kg) in almost a year. I'm posting now becaue I'm restarting my journey this week. I started jogging on monday and have improved some of my crappy eating habits (no more chinese food 3 times a week, or sugary pastries as a midmorning snack) and I'm trying to get good eating habits (haven't eaten out since last friday, also trying to get more fruits and veggies every meal). I hope to start some kind of boxing training again next week and I hope I can get rid of the fat and keep it off. Just posting for a little accountability and support since I really love this subreddit and have been motivated by a lot of success stories. | Lost a lot of weight, gained it back because of eating habits and injury. Getting back on track this week. |
t3_r1yhp | BreakUps | I just got dumped over Facebook for standing up for myself.. | We're 19 and we've dated for almost 4 years..
Today is this huge St. Paddy's day parade, right? And while I'm at work slaving my butt off he wants to go to this huge field that all the teenagers go to and get trashed, whatever. As long as he behaves himself.
But the problem lies in that he's lied a lot in the past and has acted sketchy so I don't trust him as much as I should. I gave him a simple "Hey, don't do this or that or your going to ruin your last chance with me." And he said "Well might as well leave me now because I know as soon as you see a picture of me with a female friend you're going to flip out.." I told him it would be fine as long as it wasn't all gropey.. like you know a normal friend picture, arm around the shoulder face's touching is fine but I don't want to see his hand virtually on their ass or anything like that. Am I being ridiculous?
And then I remembered something: A while back we were together doing something and I wanted to take a picture together, he refused and got all nervous. And then I realized this has happened before. Sketchy much?.. I decided to test something out, I put every old picture I had of us on facebook and tagged it. It was only 3 so it's not like I spammed his notifications or anything crazy like that. He immediately deleted me off facebook, a cheap way to break up I must say.
Needless to say I am wicked heart broken, hurt, I don't know what to do with myself. I know he was pretty shitty but this was a long time spend with someone. I wasn't trying to be psychotic I was merely standing up for myself because he was being sketchy. I'm crushed..
It doesn't help that this is spring break and all of my friends from university are far away, and all my friends from here AREN'T on spring break so so are they..
I have two concert tickets for two seperate events and no one to go with..
And that
Help me, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.. | Boyfriend of four years almost dumped me by deleting me off facebook because I stood up to him being sketchy. I'm crushed and lonely.. |
t3_39qco1 | loseit | 5'5" 180lbs from 250lbs- Stuck | This is my first post, so hopefully I have done this right.
I have been working my (Now much more defined) ass off trying to get past this plateau. I have been stuck here for four months now. Nothing I try is helping. My calories are at 1200 a day. Thanks to the loseit app on my phone for that. Mostly made up of meal replacement shakes, hard boiled eggs and veggies cooked to a near mush (had dental surgery can not eat most solid food). I work out for at least half an hour every day and am very active. I hike 3-5 kilometers every weekend and walk over 2 kilometers through the bush dog sitting, which is all week.I love to jog and try to get some time in for it everyday. Right now I am at about three times a week. I don't/can't snack. I live in a tiny little backwoods town that doesn't have a proper grocery store let alone a gym and my friends have taken to shaming me for losing weight. They are a bunch of naturally skinny people who have never gone through this (and don't like the competition) or hams that thrive on fatlogic. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know. | Was big fat, now small fat, plateau.. Damn the plateau. |
t3_4g4glb | relationship_advice | Should I[19/m] go visit my ex[19/f] after 2 months of not talking to her? | Me and my ex haven't seen each other for 2 months since I've left the relationship because I wasn't feeling like I enjoyed my time with her anymore after almost 3 years. My parents really never liked her and we often tended to breakup/not talk for weeks because I wasn't feeling the relationship in which time my parents often commented on how she didn't have good grades and wasn't the right girl for me, my father is a professor and to him it was very important my future wife should be smart, which really pushed me to stay away from her since I didn't want my family to not like the person I love. I often tried talking myself out of relationship with excuses but always ended up missing her. I've been thinking about her a lot and have only seen her a couple of times in the past months and got really sad and emotional each time I did because I couldn't talk to her, but yesterday I saw her hugging and flirting with another guy and that hit home and made me feel depressed about myself and how she moved on so quick. I really just wanna hear her voice and see her right now and the only thing keeping me from going is my anger about yesterday. I've never tried talking to my parents about her and now feel that I've ended the relationship without ever trying to make a solution. What to do?
Thank you for your time if you read all of the above :) | broke up with ex(3 year long relationship) 2 months ago, kept missing her and got sad every time I saw and couldn't talk to her, saw her yesterday with another guy hugging and flirting, really want to talk to her right now but the only thing keeping me at home is my anger about yesterday, what to do? |
t3_gsxto | AskReddit | Are there times when giving up seems like the right thing to do? | I am in a program for accounting and have found that it is not something that I want to pursue any longer. I have not been making the best grades but have been doing my best to try to make it through the program. I have found that I wont make it and feel like if the credits don't matter then why waste any more time in a state that I dont want to be in. I guess the only reason I would stay is that there is only 3 weeks left this semester and I will be able to get the credits but I could be using that time to find a job. Any advice? | changed my mind, should I get started on new path or finish old path |
t3_4rrgqm | legaladvice | Looking to Copyright a Documentary of a Performance Art | I am not sure how to go about this. My partner and I have been filming a documentary of a performance art for the last year. We researched prior to starting and did not find anything of its kind and starting filming the project in our state. We are getting ready to take the project on the road as well as look for sponsorship and funding. We want to protect ourselves from someone stealing and monetizing our idea. What steps do we need to take? We want to use the name of our project for merchandising as well as possibly making it a series. Thanks in advance for the advice. | filming an art project, want to protect its name |
t3_34gjck | relationships | My [29 M] GF [29F] of almost two years has just announced that she refuses to give me blowjobs because I'm selfish in our relationship and she's tired of me. Need advice. | I have been with my amazing girlfriend of almost two years and on my end, I thought everything was going very well. I thought our sex life was great but last night everything changed. We were getting busy and she asked me to go down on her because I never have and that's primarily how she gets off. For background, this is something I just don't find appealing and don't want to do. I thought she was understanding with this because it's been two years and nothing has been said. When I told her maybe I would come around to it in the future she started crying and saying that I don't care if she's happy during sex and she's tired of dealing with a man who only cares about himself. I don't beleive this is true at all, but I can't seem to convince her otherwise. She said she's subtly tried asking to me to do it (I guess I didn't catch it) and she's done being subtle and she refused to give blowjobs from here on out because if I don't care, she doesn't either.
My question here is what do I do? I love this girl more then anything but if this was a deal breaker for her why is this only being brought up now? Had she been upfront in the beginning this could have been sorted out but now we are both emotionally invested in this relationship and I don't know how to move forward. | GF says I'm selfish, maybe I am but I need to fix this. |
t3_3ltbrr | tifu | TIFU by taking a shower in the University of Cambridge. | (This happened last evening but I had no WiFi so yeah.)
My school and 5 other schools took a residential trip to the University of Cambridge to see what university life is like and what courses we can take.
So fast forward 5 hours we were going to take showers before going to bed (because it would be easier than to take one in the morning).
So I go get my towel and think, "hmm I could really go for a shit right now." I look around for a place to put my towel. I see a ledge. I place my towel down. *plop*.
"What the hell?" I say as I look down. The fucking toilet roll fell into the toilet. I look around for something that I can use to grab the roll out.
Nothing.
I think to myself "All-right /u/Angry_Budgies, this is no biggie. We won the war. We managed to land people on the moon. England won a world cup. I can do this." So i reach out to grab the molecule of the roll that hasn't touched the water and reach for the bin.
Then I see it.
This bin/trash can is some weird contraption that fell out of the innermost circle of Hell that came to get revenge for someone who wants to put a toilet roll in the bin. It won't fit through the *conventional* hole so I go to lift un the lid but it won't work. Then i see the screw.
This could be it. This could be my salvation.
I turn the plastic screw thing and it opens. YES I have done it! But no, only opens ~5cm and the bog roll won't fit in. So I do what anyone else would've done, and stamp on it until it will fit. After some pushing it finally fits in.
Now if I ever go back to Cambridge, I will be reminded of that incident and will be cringing throughout my whole time there. | I go to take a shower in the Uni of Cambridge, end up putting a toilet roll in the toilet, can't show my face there ever again. |
t3_ox4ad | BreakUps | Just ended a long distance relationship. (my first relationship) | I (20, f) just ended my first relationship recently. It had been almost one and a half years, and was long-distance starting in september when I left for college. After going long distance I eventually found it hard to pay attention to him, I always felt busy with school. And for some reason when we did get to meet up I felt very frustrated and would get aggravated by him (I'm not sure why). I also found myself thinking about other guys a lot. We broke up over the phone (I was the one who ended it) but this weekend I will be in the town where he lives for a couple days. Should I just not tell him, or should I see him in real life to talk things out a bit and say goodbye? He was my best friend. Sorry if this all sounds noob, this is my first relationship. To be honest I have been really sad/crying since and I don't understand why, I thought this is what I wanted, I'm so confused. This guy really loved me, and now I feel like a piece of shit. Did I make a mistake. Is it normal to be so sad when you are the one who did the dumping? Any advice. | I just ended a long distance relationship over the phone, I will be in town this weekend should I tell him, or should I not tell him. |
t3_ety2z | AskReddit | Being targeted at work. What to do? | I recently became a cashier at a large box store in New England known for home improvement and DIY. Quickly I realized that a woman who had been employed by my girlfriend was also a cashier at my store (I'll call her Jennifer). My Girlfriend, being the manager of her store, and the Jennifer did not get along (Jennifer having been acting manager before my GF took over. Jennifer also made claims to other employees that she was "going to have my gf fired") and this resulted in Jennifer resigning, narrowly escaping being terminated by the District Manager herself. Now, the first two months working with Jennifer were full of attitude and nastiness, but coming from a generally nasty person with a bad attitude I figured it was par for course and shook off the feeling that her issues with my girlfriend had something to do with me. In this time Jennifer has become a Head Cashier and is now my supervisor. Her attitude towards me is always bad. I still shrugged it off and went about my business happily. Today my mind has changed. Another cashier, who happens to also be my job coach, told me that Jennifer was complaining about me talking to another associate and how I was "wasting company time and money". With the attitude and these comments coming my way I believe that I am being targeted by Jennifer and her goal is to remove me from my employment. | Woman who works for my GF makes trouble at work and threatens to get her fired. She ends up quitting and now I work with her where she is one of my supervisors and is harassing me and trying to get me fired. |
t3_37ttyl | relationships | I am [23 M] with my gf is [21 F] been dating 5 months and she wants to be able to hangout with other guys 1 on 1. | My girlfriend wants to be able to hangout with her guy friends and I think all is cool and that I should trust her enough to not do anything behind my back but apparently some guy hit her up on Facebook saying he wants to meet up at 6pm... someone she supposedly never met, to talk about the same school they were in (she's a japanese girl btw, met her when she studied abroad and this guy is an american that hit her up while she is back over there). Just seems off to me to want to meet on a Saturday around that time and then she won't give me clear answers as to what they are doing together. She said they are just going to talk and I asked what after and she says "idk". This wouldn't all be a huge issue if she wasn't always up my ass about what im doing and who its with but the few times I ask, it's a problem. I asked for fairness and her trust to do the same with my female friends, not to get even or some immature shit like that but for trust but she said she isn't sure if she will not get mad about it and cause a scene but she wants me to not. I feel like she is being really shady. Any advice? | Gf wants to freedom to hangout 1 on 1 with her dude friends at night |
t3_11e6ck | relationships | I'm [22m] girlfriend [21f] of a year and 4 months decided she needs a break | We've been dating for a year and four months, and spent the first 4 months in the same city but then she went back to college and we decided to keep it going since things were going really well then.
I'm not really sure how to feel right now, we've been fighting a lot lately.
Seems like everything will be fine and then she brings up a topic out of the blue that causes an argument, most of the time about a previous fight that we had. We both feel like each other blames the other for everything that's wrong. But I feel like I'm not blaming her I'm just saying that I do not like how she was talking to me in a demeaning way.
She says I'm not supportive enough when she is feeling down, but I try to help the best I can by listening, trying to be comforting and offering advice. I tend to deal with my problems on my own aside from venting once in a while, but whenever I do need to be comforted she will tell me to stop having a pity party, which wasn't my attention at all. For instance I flew up and visited her and on the last night I was sad to be leaving and she told me to stop trying to have a pity party.
When she decided to go on break we decided on some rules, I said I was fine with her talking to whoever she wants. It pretty much already is that way since when I told her before I was uncomfortable with her talking to her ex of many years who still tells her he loves her. She would talk to him anyways...
She then said well you can do whatever you want, just have to tell me about it afterwards. I'm not planning on doing anything. She doesn't really trust me even though I have never betrayed her trust and I don't really go out, except for before my motorcycle was stolen I went to bike night with my guy friends every once in a while. | girlfriend decided to go on break because of arguments and saying I'm not supportive enough even though I try to be. |
t3_4txo9o | tifu | TIFU by trying to do the Worm | This fuck up actually happened two days ago. Last week I decided I was going to take a spontaneous trip to San Francisco with my roommate.
The first day we arrived our Hostel was having a pub crawl that night. We were so game. I will have you guys know.. I am not much of a drinker. I am a stoner. So I decided that night that I was going to drink. Drunk I got.
The whole night I was dancing my ass off preparing for that dance floor. Once I got there I was gone. Getting lower than I have ever gotten. This super hot Swedish guy challenged me to a dance off and I accepted. He did the worm and so in my brilliant drunken state I thought it would be a good idea to drop from a full standing position to do the worm also. Successfully pulled off the move!
Until I felt something wet. Touched my chin and saw that my brand new shirt was covered in blood and so was my hand. I split my fucking chin open doing the worm. Did not need stitches just lots of band aids. Two days later I am having a hard time eating and opening my jaw. Worth it. I am going to tell people I got in a fight because it is less embaressing. | I got in a fight with the floor. |
t3_2rxuk3 | offmychest | Cheated on my girlfriend | This happened maybe a few months ago but I've been feeling the pain more and more since. I've always been a lurker in all of reddit so here goes my first post...
I'm currently in my third year of college and started dating this girl who was in her first year. We went to different schools and the distance was long enough to where you'd have to fly to ever meet each other during the academic year. She wasn't my first girlfriend, and I had my fair share of drunken college hookups/etc. to kind of become jaded/cynical to finding love.
Needless to say I took her for granted one night (she was honestly too good for me) and got blackout drunk and cheated on her with a friend I knew (had sex for a few moments and then stopped when we both realized how wrong it was). The friend left; I woke up the next morning and just didn't really know what to do/how to think. The next day I told my girlfriend what I did and she ended things.
At first it didn't really feel that bad. I guess I lied to myself about the pain and tried to rationalize what I did. It wasn't until a few weeks later that I acknowledged the fact that I did a really shitty thing. I hurt this girl and the girl I cheated with stopped talking to me altogether (lost her as a friend). To be honest it just hurts even more when I watch a movie/tv show depict a cheating husband/boyfriend as an asshole and I realize that I'm that asshole. At this point I'm just trying to fix my life and figure out who I really am. I never thought I'd be the type of person to cheat, but it happened and it's kind of scary that I would do that. Just don't do it guys/ladies, it's not worth it. | I'm an asshole. Don't be an asshole like me and cheat. |
t3_1cgvad | relationships | M[22] went on a few dates with F[21], unsure of what to do next | So I used to work with this girl[21] I had a crush on. We flirted at work and at parties, but it never went anywhere. I knew her about 3 months before I quit the job. Since I had liked her for a while and there seemed to be some mutual interest, I asked her on a date, and she agreed. The date went well, she told me the next day she had fun and all. I tried to set up another date, but both of us are busy with classes and she works two jobs, so it was tough to find a night we were both free. Finally we scheduled another date, and it seemed like it went well again. That was about a month ago.
Everytime I try to set up another date she tells me she is busy. She always seems apologetic, and explains how she has a ton of schoolwork or something else(she's a real bad procrastinator). It's not like she's blowing me off, but still, I keep getting shot down. I always try for a couple days down the road, and it never works. The only times it seems I can make plans are if I ask her like a week in advance. I can't tell if I'm going about it wrong, or if she just doesn't have time for it, or if she just isn't interested any more. Should I keep trying? | Went out with a girl, can't tell if she's still interested |
t3_2k9dq4 | relationships | I [17 M] am having doubts about my relationship with my girlfriend of a year and five months [16 F], but I'm being critical of my reasons for my doubt. | I have been dating my current girlfriend, lets call her Jane, for the
past year and five months, up until the beginning of this month our
relationship was quite stable. Jane suffers from quite persistent
anxiety and panic disorder, along with being somewhat depressed.
These have always been hard on me, but I had been able to handle
it moderately well until recently.
I recently started feeling like my
only role in our relationship was to support her and every aspect
seemed to be focused on her, never on me. I started thinking that
our relationship might be coming to an end, but I wanted to feel it
out move first. Just a few days after I was thinking this we got in a
disagreement and I decided not to completely submit, for fear of
her being upset, like I used to. This disagreement continued to
spiral, and I ended up breaking up with her that night. But the next
day we talked and decided to try more, because we might be able
to fix the issues that were there.
However, I still don't feel much
better, this all happened about three weeks ago, and there have still
been several occasion where I feel like she is using her emotions to
manipulate me and I don't feel the same about her as I used to. A
lot of the problems seem to have gotten a bit better, but I don't feel
better, I still feel distant from her and like I'm just not interested
any more. The main reason I'm so self critical about this doubt is
because I've started feeling something for another girl. I haven't
acted on these feelings at all, but I feel like they could be a large
part of why I feel so doubtful about my relationship, which makes
me feel extremely guilty. I'm just curious to hear others' thoughts
on the situation. | I'm not as interest in my current girlfriend as I used to be, because I feel like I'm just supporting her. But I feel guilty because I have feelings for another girl. |
t3_3vielp | relationships | He (24/m) wants a DNR, I (27/f) don't like the idea of it | My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year and lately his Dad has been going through a lot of medical problems right now and that made him bring up the fact that he wants a "Do not resuscitate." Placed on him, he absolutely refuses to change his mind and will not talk about it.
I have been trying to explain my view but he won't let me. I feel like you should always try, there are so many people who have died and been resuscitated and led a perfectly normal life there after.
I am okay that if he is resuscitated and somehow ends up on life support, I feel like then yes there is a decision to make there about pulling the plug.
I just don't think you should make a decision without trying.
Earlier this year my Dad's heart quit 3 times on the way to the hospital, they revived him and he's now home like normal. He was on a ventilator for a week because he couldn't breath on his own. His lungs started working again and he got taken off the ventilator and got to go home.
I don't think that it always has to be "your time," if your heart stops.
Well, this has been the argument of the week. Some probably think I'm selfish, but wouldn't you always guilt yourself with a "what if?" I know I would. I constantly "what if" myself, and I don't want to live with that guilt.
I also feel like a DNR is something you should discuss with your SO, and not a decision you should make on whelm without ever letting them know. | He wants a DNR but I feel like you should always let the doctors try because it may not be "your time." |
t3_3emvts | relationships | To contact, or not to contact. That is the question. | Okay, so I've been going over this in my head. Lately, I've been thinking about someone from my past. To make a long story short: When I was in high school (graduated 15 years ago. We're in our 30's now.), there was this girl that I REALLY liked. All the time, I thought that I may have even fallen in love. Anyway, she just wanted to be friends. (I'm pretty sure she hated me. She even had to audacity to bad mouth me to this other girl that I was talking to.) She ended up getting with one of my friends, who I knew from middle school.
Out of curiosity, I looked those two up on facebook. They're married and have a kid. I'm still kinda peeved over what happened, but at the same time I'm kinda curious as to what they're up to. If anything, I wanna know how they're making it. Since high school, my life's pretty much been in the crapper. They seem to be doing better than me, and I just wanna know how they're doing, and how they do it. And, no, I don't think of her like that anymore, knowing that she hated me then and still probably does. | So, should I Facebook her, or both of them, just to say hey and see how they're doing? |
t3_1bs82p | relationships | I [21] realize her [20] defects are really bothering me and I fear that means the beginning of the end | ** We have been together for two years and I have this feel since five or six months ago. **
**I start to realize her defects are bothering me**. In her intelligence, in her looks, in the tastes we don't share, etc.
I'm looking girls all time, and not only physically but also I think how they could be as couple, in a way to contrast them with my gf, as if I couldn't appreciate her bright side. In other words, I'm seeing women like when I was single.
I find even her less attractive than before and I enjoy sex but It don't blow my mind as the first year, actually I'm interested in how feels sex with other chicks and It makes me feel guilty as fuck. (Anyway I wont cheat her under no circumstances!)
Anyone would say that it clearly means I'm losing my love for her but on the other hand, I can't stand being without her, I really need her, she truly appreciates me and Ican't leave behind that. She is the only who helps me and talks me when I'm feeling sad or alone, and beyond all that I still find unique in a lot of other things.
**Could be this a passing moment and can I appreciate her as the first time again?**
We've talked a lot about this, I always we conclude that It's a selfish argument (wich it's sadly true) and I'm demanding on her with no need. Last week, I said I don't know the future of the relationship and perhaps in the future we've to break up or perhaps not and we'll be aging together, in this moment she sobbed and said *"hopefully..."* and instantaneously after we both started to cry like kids. I'm fucking confused. | I find my gf so imperfect and I'm thinking in other girls, this could be the begining of the end and it depressesme like no other thing |
t3_1m3wnr | relationships | I [36F] am wondering what alternatives there are to wearing my wedding ring. Been married 12 years to my husband [35M]. | I haven't worn my wedding ring for about 6 months. I go to the gym regularly and it started irritating my finger when I sweat and rubbing a big callous on the base of my finger. The constant taking on and off was stressing me out because I was always worried about losing it. I have very sensitive skin and jewelry often irritates. I do wear necklaces, but not very often. He's starting to express hurt feelings about the fact that I don't wear my ring. Any suggestions, other than tying a string around my finger? I've even thought about a tattoo, but don't think I want to go that route (I'm a wimp that way)!! | Jewelry irritates, what are other options? |
t3_49rtgd | relationships | Me [25M] with my Gf [24f] of nearly 3 years. I want to better myself but she can be really negative. | For most of my life I've been fighting with depression. But for this last year, I've actively been trying to change, I'm sick of feeling this way and I really want to put the effort in to kick this. That's really a whole other story.
Anyways, I've been dating this girl for the past 3 years now (3 years this May) It started off great, I loved everything about her, her laugh, face, eyes, smile, you name it. We moved in together after about 6 months. Everything was still going great, despite how soon it was. We stayed home a lot, I stopped seeing my friends, my parents, all I did was work and hangout with her.
Then I realized how depressed I really was. I wanted to be something more, something that she didn't really care for; friendly and outgoing. Not to say shes a miserable snob or anything, but she would rather make fun of people, and complain about her day. She also seems very dependent on me. She doesn't have her license, I have to ask her to clean up after herself, and make sure she looks after her health. Honestly I feel like I'm the only mature one sometimes.
Another thing is sex. I'm not asking anything out of the ordinary from her, Its just you get kind of tired of only doing two positions over and over (she refuses to wear lingerie as well). I frequently try to go down on her as I love to give oral, but she stops me and tells me its gross down there (which It never has been). She won't reciprocate unless I'm fresh out of the shower and even then it happens once every few months.
Now I have had multiple talks with her about everything posted above, and its great for a month and a bit. But then it just falls right back to how it was before. I'm at my wits end, and I feel like I'm not going to be able to better myself until something changes. | GF of 3 years is making me feel more like a care taker, then an equal partner in a relationship. I just don't know what to do anymore. |
t3_23ht5o | legaladvice | Invasion of Privacy at work among a host of other things. | OK, this may take a bit but, I want to garner some advice for my friend here.
At work she made a friend, (well call him Jeff), after a few months being there. The more she got to know Jeff the more she learned about him and some very disturbing things. Not limited to his view on women as object, the idea that forcing himself on said women was an acceptable idea, and self harm.
There came issues later into the friendship, including tiny aggressive events, such as crushing tissue boxes on her desk and throwing out trash with her initials (important because she deals with trash that, in the event of an oversight, may contain names and medical knowledge leading to HIPAA violations), and the theft of her personal keyboard.
Several times she went to human resources to talk with them regarding these issues. No action was taken to rectify or even address the problems. A most I think they gave Jeff a number for mental health support and told my friend to continue to be his friend and support him.
Skip ahead a bit in time, Jeff has quit, and my friend received an email from a throwaway email with a note basically telling her she needs to send racy photo's of herself or he would post pictures of her all across her job. The attachment on the email was pictures taken from video of her in the restroom of her workplace from several different days.
Her work has taken minimal action in the matter. Given her some time off, and contacted the Sheriffs office only after she did. She is now having panic attacks in public, at home, and is paranoid of going online as there are fake profiles being created trying to friend her co-workers and friends.
I only single out Jeff as he is the primary focus of the Sheriffs investigation and the most likely suspect to be targeting by far. | I guess, what should she do in the event that her privacy was compromised so badly at work, and the person suspected had been reported to HR several times with mental health issues and fear for her personal safety and that of Jeff? |
t3_4mrtqa | relationships | My (27F) boyfriend (36M) always bugs and kisses a stray cat that comes to our house even though it has fleas. I've found fleas in the house but he won't stop. Am I unreasonable? | This may seem like a petty thing to post about but I'm really grossed out by it, so here goes.
A few months ago a cat started appearing in our backyard and it seems like it had been dumped. My BF didn't want us to call the pound cos he didn't want it to be put down so he started buying it food occasionally and feeding it.
About 2 weeks ago I noticed it has fleas and said unless he was prepared to buy flea treatment for it, that I didn't want it in the house. He agreed but when it cries at the door wanting food he picks it up and brings it inside and stands by the door cuddling and kissing it on the head. This completely disgusts me as I've since found fleas on my arm twice.
I feel like I'm being over the top though. What should I do? | boyfriend keeps hugging and kissing cat with fleas and I found a flea on my arm twice and am grossed out by it and want him to stop, but feel like a crazy lady |
t3_4qikr7 | relationships | BF (29/M) obsessed with Instagram models. Am I (27/f) being petty? | On my phone, please forgive grammar and spelling errors.
Alright I can't believe I'm even asking this, I'll make it short. I've been with my boyfriend for a year. We have a great relationship although admittedly I suffer from some body image issues. I think I'm actually fairly attractive, fit, successful, and intelligent - but for some reason I have these feelings of inadequacy because of my bf's perpetual habit of following and liking photos of provocative Instagram models. Sometimes they're famous and sometimes they aren't (i.e. only a couple hundred followers). He's from LA, but he now lives in the Midwest where we met, where I guess you could say people are surrounded by women like that all day.
Every day, in the morning when he wakes up, at work, at night, when he's with friends, when he's next to me, he's always following and liking all of their photos.
It's just Instagram so I try not to care but I can't help it! I feel like he's borderline obsessed. I don't know if my feelings of hurt are warranted. | bf is obsessed with following IG models and liking their provocative photos. Someone tell me that it's petty and not a big deal. |
t3_wq81h | AskReddit | Redditors from outside the United States, how does your country perceive marijuana? | I'm wondering specifically about South America.
I have a friend that's from Peru and he frowns upon Marijuana. He is a certified doctor in Peru, Spain, and the United States. One of the things that he said that really caught my attention is that it effects babies developement pre-Zygote. So basically he states that if you smoke weed it will affect your sperm and cause development issues if you happen to get someone pregnant. My friend has been drinking alcohol since he was 12 and when I told him alcohol kills brain cells and that's part of the reason why you cant drink until you are 21 in the states, he said that the amount of cells that it kills is really small. I had another friend from Peru who never had a reason to not smoke marijuana he just perceived it as bad, but again he also started drinking from a young age. I have another friend from Chile and refuses to try it for no reason, but started drinking at a young age. I have some friends from Argentina & Uruguay and all of them smoke and don't think its bad.
How does your country see Marijuana use and how does it compair to other drugs? | Friends from Peru & Chile see marijuana as a horrible thing but start drinking at a young age, friends from a different part of South America (Argentina & Uruguay) dont see anything wrong with it. |
t3_1qfzrj | relationship_advice | [19M] crush on online friend [23F], don't know what to do. | So let me give some general information first:
I have known the girl for some time and we have talked a lot, we can talk about ANYTHING it's like there's no boundary of what goes to far, we talked about her past relationships, her past, her sex life, basicly everything. We share the same interests (gaming, watching the same series) and we understand each others humor and just get along very well.
Now I have been developping a crush on her, while she has a friend. As I explained we can talk about anything so I told her fair and square that I liked her when we had a conversation and she asked how I was doing and if I had interest in someone. Her relationship with her friend isn´t the best, it´s actually quite bad, but I do not want to mess with it and lose her as my friend, but I also do not want to never have a chance with her.
So my question:
I'm really confused on what to do, I do not want to risk our friendship, but I have never felt something like this for someone ever before. Although I do not want to, I keep thinking about ways to mess up their relationship on purpose, because deep down I do not want their relationship to work out. But on the other hand I want her to be happy and if that's without me then that is okay.
Also in 1,5 years I'll be done with school and I could go visit her (Money is not a issue to go visit and stay in America) and I would really like a chance with her.
What do I do Reddit? Please help this confused user.
Sorry for bad formatting and/or spell/grammar mistakes. | I have a crush on a online friend, she is in a relationship to, I am jealous and although there is a big distance between us I want to take my chances or I'm afraid I'll regret not trying. |
t3_kfbp5 | relationships | Getting married in two weeks and fiance has no interest in having sex | Me- 23F him 26 M. We've been together for 2.5 years and we have an eight-month-old daughter together. We're supposed to be getting married October 1st but I'm having some reservations. He never wants to have sex. We used to have sex daily before the baby came. Then it dropped down to maybe twice a week. The last few months it has been a once a week thing. Now even once a week is turning out to be difficult to keep up.
I am usually the one to initiate sex, if it ever happens. Most times when I do initiate, he says he's tired or the baby might wake up from her nap in the middle, etc. I confronted him about this last night. I told him I was not satisfied with our sex life and I felt like he never was the one to initiate sex with me. I feel unwanted and unattractive to him. He said he works and is tired. I understand that working as a programmer can be stressful and mentally exhausting, but work, bills, and children are always going to be a part of our lives. If that means we will rarely have sex, that's not a marriage I want to be a part of.
I love him so much and he's a wonderful father, but I can't live my whole life feeling like I'm never satisfied sexually. Please help... | Getting married in 17 days and fiance never wants to have sex. Don't want a sexless marriage. |
t3_1v3a7j | relationship_advice | I [21M] feel the need to end my relationship with my [20F] GF of 6 Months but have no idea how...? | So a bit of background information... I met my GF through her sister, who I am currently working with. I was bored one evening and decided to talk to her, which led to our relationship. It's been a bit over 6 months since we began "officially" going out; it was the first real relationship for the both of us. I had, and still have strong emotions for her, both physically and emotionally, and we have yet to have a single fight or dispute between us. Lately I've been feeling like I'm not ready for commitment of any sorts, and that I have other things I should be focusing on, rather than a relationship since it does take up a significant proportion of my free time. While I do tend save my time for school work and work, my girlfriend becomes emotionally distressed if we don't spend enough time. That's not my main concern though since I'm always able to manage. Among other things, I don't think I can mentally handle a relationship either, constantly thinking about ending it ever since it has begun. Also it's been 2-3 since we both had sex for the first time, and have done the deed a couple of times afterwards. If I were to break up with her now, I wouldn't want to give her the impression that the only reason I went out with her was because of sex.
I can't say if any of that really made sense, but I'm looking for advice on how to move on from here, and if breaking up would be the best solution? I don't want to leave on bad terms, nor do I want it make it painful for her. My main concern is her, and I'm not sure how I can approach breaking up with her and not giving her the impression that I was only into the relationship for sex. | How can I break up with my gf without making it as messy as it can be? |
t3_2jrjh7 | relationships | I [20 M] love a girl [20F] of over 1 year, but she lives across the sea. | This may sound fake but it isn't. My life is like a walking cliche. I went to England back in April of last year. I met a girl that was so wonderful and amazing. And to this day, I can not stop thinking of her.
We really didn't have a relationship per say. We were great friends, I was going to take the extra step to open up to her but I had to leave England. I met her while I was staying over there visiting family. I really did like her and I felt that she liked me but I didn't have enough confidence. And before I knew it, the girl of my dreams was gone.
I kept in touch and we talk almost every single day for the last year. I may be dense but I still don't know if she likes me. She told me that I was really special to her. The day I left, I invited her to go dancing with me. She couldn't go because she was tired. She told later that she wish she went with me.
I'm moving to NYC next year and she told she wanted to visit me. She wanted to go dancing with me. She wanted to stay with me. I can't wait for that moment. Even if we only stay friends, I will always love her. She is the most beautiful person I've ever seen. I can't stop thinking about her. And I'm scared that she doesn't have the same feelings as I do. She looks like a angel. And I really really want to be with her. It's not even sexual. It feels more than that.
I've heard that if you are feeling something towards someone, it's likely felt by the other person as well. I hope she feels that way. She is visiting next year and I'm going to go the extra step. I'm making myself better for her. What do think reddit? Does she like me? | I met the girl of my dreams, and I don't know if she likes me. |
t3_51y5n7 | relationships | Tips for making my [19 F] temporarily LDR [22 M, one year] last? | We've been together a year and we've never been apart for more than a week at a time. He's studying abroad this semester, left the day after our one year anniversary, and it's *way* harder than I had imagined it would be. I'm used to texting throughout the day, having a phone call in the evening, and dates a few times a week. His international plan blows, so we can only communicate when he has wifi, which won't be often for the next two or three weeks.
I've reached out to friends to try and make plans more frequently, I have a couple of little road trips planned over a couple of weekends in October, and I'm looking into group classes/clubs to get involved in. I've picked up an extra shift a week to try to keep myself busy. I've created a sticky-note countdown of days until I get to see him when I visit in November.
It's still really hard :( this isn't a trust issue. I trust him completely. I just miss him like crazy. It's a huge change to go from talking all day every day to sending 'missed connection' texts ('hi babe, you're asleep but I'm doing this today' or 'i just woke up but you've already left the hotel for the day, i love you very much'). It feels like we never really get to communicate. I know things will settle down in a few weeks once his classes start up, but I'm still struggling. Any tips? | Boyfriend went abroad and we barely get to talk anymore. It will be like this for a few weeks. I'm trying to keep busy, but I still feel really sad and lonely a few times a day. Any advice? |
t3_1gqj3b | relationship_advice | [24/m] I know I've always liked (23/f) but I've never wanted to get involved. I'm about to move away and it hurts. | I've known this girl for almost four years. She moved back home down south after she graduated and I stayed for grad school this past year. We were always good friends & I never made any moves, never really crossed my mind even. She was a partier, I'm more reserved. We've always been in contact, had the occasional lunch together, things like that.
The thing was that whenever things would go wrong or plans would fall through, I would get really upset. And more importantly, I am always really happy when I'm around her.
She recently got a job back here to start the summer and I was so excited for it all. To begin the summer she was really busy and now seems to have a bunch of new friends where she works, so its been hard to deal with that, but we've hung out a few times the past month.
So the reason I am at this point was that at my friend's bachelor party this past weekend he mentions I should invite her as my date to the wedding (tomorrow). I do it and she originally says yes. I got super excited. I could barely eat or focus on anything for a day or two afterwards. Sadly, the plans fell through and she couldn't make it on short notice. I've spent the last two days just agonizing over it.
The kicker is that I leave for another grad school opportunity 5 hours away in August. I tried to make plans with her for lunch on Saturday, and all I can think about is that right now. My mind is full of scenarios where it falls through and I don't get to see her. | I probably have feelings for this girl. She moved away after college, recently came back. Now I'm moving away in a month. I never even thought about asking her out, but I have the "bug" and get really emotional when our plans fall through, including a wedding date this weekend. I feel sick about it. -- |
t3_13arna | relationships | 23[M] need help getting over crush for best friend [23F] in exceptional circumstances | Hi /r/relationships
I do not have many sincere friends due to my success. This is a genuine person that I cannot afford to lose. How can I get over my infatuation for her without cutting her out of my life?
I have known my best friend [23F] for 5 years. Over the past 3 years I have become extremely wealthy through a business venture and she has always been there to support me. 1 year ago I began developing feelings for her. Roughly 3 months ago I confessed to her that I was in love with her, and she reacted adversely. She locked herself in the toilet for the entire night and cried to herself and spent the next few days telling me she loved me dearly as a friend but didn't feel similarly.
This person has helped me through depression, a breakup, and given me advice which has made me immensely financially successful. She is a true friend and somebody I do not want to, and cannot afford to lose for a minute of my life. I do not want to continue feeling the way I do about her - I have an intense crush on her and this has to stop, it's not only affecting my personal development, it's also affecting our relationship. She is the most intelligent, beautiful and caring person I know but I need to only think of her as a friend. She is somebody I cannot afford to cut out of my life.
Dear Reddit, please help me, how can I get over my crush for this woman?
Thank you, so, so much.
-throwaway "hexidecimal901" (apologies, If it was not a throwaway my identity would become clear) | known girl for 5 years, best friends, I became successful 3 years ago, she has helped me every step of the way, i admitted I was in love with her, it made her sad and is affecting our relationship. How can I get over my crush for her? |
t3_xoadf | AskReddit | What would you do in this situation? Need some job advice. | I'm looking for some job related advice.
I work for wal-mart currently. So one day they pull me in the office. They tell me they have me on camera dropping marijuana on the floor. I've never smoked/bought/ had any my whole life. They make me take a drug test to prove its not mine. While they awaited the results they put me on paid suspension. At this point I was ok because i knew the test wouldn't incriminate me.
A week later the drug test cam back negative. I was told i'd be paid for my days missed. I get my next pay and it only has 48 hours on it. I call personal they tell me they were told that it wasn't a paid suspension. After a big manager pow wow they decide to advance me the money that I was owed. They gave it to me in cash. I was thinking all was well.
So I get my next pay check. They deducted the cash advance from my pay. They didn't put any of the money on to my pay. So i'm down $275 of pay. I talked to hr. They pretty much said that can't happen and they can't do anything. It's right on my pay stub. I need some advice on what to do.
What would you do in this situation? | Got falsely accused, put on paid suspension. Didn't get paid for it. |
t3_1kl1yb | relationships | (M20) Dilemma time | Back in April I met a girl online we talked casually and about mid June I asked her out (I was extraordinary drunk) and we've been "together" since then. However the other week I began to notice that she tends to be really clingy and wants to be inconstant contact; Heres the catch I go to a lot of places and cant talk to her, even through text. She tends to be unhappy (even though its out of my hand) and acts like I do it to be a dick. (In reality I'm hanging out with family and helping family and friends with celebrations and moving.)
I'm a very independent individual and tend to be these types of things on a regular basis. Lately her clinginess has really began to bother me; like comon it shouldn't bother her that much. Also the college year has started and I'm going to really busy with classes and homework.
Did I mention she lives ~1500 miles away from me | Clingy GF, (I'm independent), college, long distance relationship. |
t3_1tp2gz | relationships | [M/22] needs advice on how to talk to my girlfriend of 7 months [F/20] about communication | That title is awful and stupid but I hope you'll bear with me.
Ive been seeing this girl for about 7 months, and when we're together I can't stop giggling, everything is great. When we're apart, I just wanna be holding her hand.
I get the impression either she doesn't feel the same way or feels much more muted about it.I'll text her a couple times a day, and I'll usually get one response to each if I'm lucky. I don't think we've had an actual conversation apart since before we were "officially" dating.
This is the first longer than a month relationship either of us have had, so neither of us really have any experience on what to do what we should be doing.
I really really like this girl and want to make this work, but I want companionship and someone to give a shit about me, even when were not next to each other, and either she's not thinking about me or is too nervous to respond or something I've asked her about this before in a really clumsy way, but all I got was "I'm just bad at texting, sorry!" She's really good at sitting on twitter all day though. | My girlfriend only pays attention to me when we're in the same room and I want to know how to ask her if we can do something about that. "Hey, text me more" isn't it. |
t3_3zmu7x | relationship_advice | [28/m] and my [27/f] about to get engaged and discussing a quick civil marriage, then ceremony later. | I [28/m] have been dating my [27/f] gf for just over two years, and we have been living together for just about a year. I've already spoken to her father about proposing (this past October), informed my parents, and she knows it's coming (we both want to get engaged). The ring is arriving this week, and the proposal is likely happening next week.
We're discussing getting civilly married by the end of the month, and then having the formal ceremony, which we really just want to be a celebration/party with family and friends, at the end of the year. My question is if this feels like a bad idea? We've talked about the situation at length, and getting a court house marriage doesn't diminish our idea of being married. Most of what I've read talks about the engagement time period as more of planning time than "making sure you actually want to be married." It just seems that a quick marriage after a proposal is a bit taboo. Would love to get some advice on this. | Seeking advice on getting civilly married quickly (weeks) after getting engaged, and having the formal ceremony later (12 months) |
t3_12pbcb | relationship_advice | [23/f] My boyfriend (33/m) of two years has a daughter | I knew from the beginning he had a daughter. We started out as an affair, as he was separated from his wife of 11 years before he got her pregnant, and got back with her because it was the right thing to do. We moved in together after a few months, and the child (less than a year old at the time) was never an issue to me. We ended up getting a more "child friendly" apartment, so his daughter started staying over (she was over a year old at this point) and I guess the situation started to become more real to me. I've tried to break up with him because I realize I'm not emotionally mature enough for this relationship, but he says I just need to change my attitude. I love the guy to death, and we used to get along famously, but I can't get over the kid. I don't like "sharing" him, but he equates it to having a hobby - that the time he spends with his kid he could just be out playing soccer or golfing. It's different to me though. I prefer not to be smothered by my SO. But knowing that hes with his "other family" bothers me. | I can't be happy in my relationship because I cant get over my jealousy(?) toward my boyfriends daughter. |
t3_2hunzp | relationships | My [21F] boyfriend [22F] of four years says I mother him too much. How do I change that? | My boyfriend and I have been together for four years and the relationship is going pretty well. He's had poor self esteem for most of the relationship and recently brought up that my "mothering" him impacts negatively on this. Things such as checking in on him, asking him to check in, asking very directed questions (such as "did you reschedule?" rather than "When are you going instead?" when he cancels an appt) etc.
I'm a very hands on, caring person and I get in his business a lot. I put a lot of effort into supporting him. I know I mother a little but didn't realise it affected him so much. How do I show my support and interest in his life without mothering him? | Mothering my boyfriend. How do I show support/ask questions/show interest without mothering? |
t3_ua0wt | AskReddit | Has reddit ever developed a strange psychological aversion to 'random' things? I'll start. | When Metroid Prime for GameCube came out, I was still in my early teens. My brothers and I shared a room back then, and we had the TV and GameCube set up in said room.
Well, one day I got really sick, and I was suffering from severe headaches. I grew up watching my older brother play video games, so when he asked me if it was okay if he could play while I laid in bed, I was more than happy to say yes. I needed the company anyways.
It turns out, however, that when you have severe headaches and you associate it with a stimuli, your brain can connect those two and sort of 'meld' them together.
End result? I get a severe headache when I even *think* about Metroid Prime. The soundtrack makes my head throb like no other. | Just thinking about Metroid Prime makes my head hurt. |
t3_1ki3h4 | relationship_advice | [31/m] Having issues with my girl friend (30/f) concerning if you love someone you should be allowed to be selfish about it. Whos in the right? | So I had an argument the other night with my girlfriend and this always has been an issue in our relationship ( our relationship going on for about a year and a half now ). She has no family in California, but I do and also have my career and life here. Shes very independent and rather nomadic ( living in various states ) and has warned me that she can't find a job in her career over here and most likely will have to settle for crappy temp jobs in this economy if she continues living here.
She wanted me to tell her to stay here for me and make the sacrifices for our relationship, but I just think that's too selfish of a thing to say. I feel if I make her stay here for our relationship she will always hold that sacrifice over me. To put it in her words, "love is selfish." How do you guys feel on this issue? Whos in the right? Is it wrong for me to want her to stay here? | Girlfriend wants to move out of state to pursue her career but everything I have is here ( home, family, career ). Is it wrong and selfish for me to tell her to stay for our relationship? |
t3_3t6abs | relationships | my [16m] first serious relationship [17f - 2 years] has ended and no matter what i do i cannot get over it | we went through kind of a rough breakup, we both have mental illnesses and honestly were not healthy for each other, about 3 or 4 days after we broke up she asked for me back and i said no, which is one of the hardest things ive ever had to do.
after a few weeks we were texting one day (she was drunk, i was high) and it ended up in us having casual sex for a few weeks. we established that although it was just casual sex, we both still had clear feelings for the other person (GREAT IDEA, RIGHT??? CANT THINK OF ANY WAY THIS WILL END BADLY)
at the start i just missed her and everything reminded me of her. i've been using drugs music and self harm as outlets and it works but not for very long. some girl kissed me on halloween at a party but i just felt guilty about it. about a week after that happened, my ex texts me being mad about that and i decided i dont want to do the casual sex thing any more because it is obviously unhealthy for both of us.
i went back into a cycle of missing her/physical contact so i tried talking to other girls. i hooked up with one and while it was fun at the time, i just feel sad now because it wasn't *the same*
it's only been about 1 and a half months since we broke up but i just dont know what to fucking do | girlfriend of 2 years and i broke up -> started having sex because we're stupid -> stopped having sex -> i have no idea how to get over her |
t3_1hgqzb | AskReddit | Tradesmen Redditors: Company engages in questionable safety related practices, what would you do? | The company I work for engages in questionable safety practices in an effort to get jobs done faster and for cheaper. I can site about 100 examples in the last year that I have been directly involved in but I am going to leave you with a couple of the big winners:
Today: We are working in a bag house there is a confined space in the bottom to get the filters out, it is a enter by permit only confined space according to the company it belongs to, but not to my boss, no sir, he waves his hand in dismissal and says "treat it like an unrestricted confined space" and sends guy not even confined space trained in without anyone within shouting distance that is confined space rescue trained.
Number 2: Boss tells subordinate to use a block of 2x4 to slow a spinning exhaust fan belt (wind was in excess of 45 mph that day) dude loses two fingers when the block slips and his fingers get caught in the pully, gets ripped off the 12 foot ladder he was standing on and dumped on the floor.
I really want to quit this company, but employment law is so dicey, could I share this with a future employer as a good reason I don't want to work there anymore when asked? Or should I lie? | Company is awful on safety, want to quit, but what to tell possible employers about why I want to leave? |
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