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t3_2vuj28 | relationships | Me [17 M] with my friend who is female and of romantic intent [16 F] couple of week, she says she needs time to figure out with her parents. | I met this girl in drama club at school. I never have had a long standing girlfriend so im not very experienced in this stuff.
We started hanging out a lot outside of school. Eventually going to a concert where i kissed her. She was very receptive to my advances and it was going great. We were hanging out after school and things were just fantastic.
About a week ago we were hanging out in the parking lot of the YMCA, where we work out together. We were just chilling together in her car when her dad came and pulled up next to us. It was 8 and she was out pretty late we just lost track of time (we have great conversation). All he said was, "Its time to come home." I was terrified. so i said kissed her said good night and walked to my car.
After that night she became very distanced. she eventually texted me about how she, "Really likes me and loves hanging out with me", and how she doesn't want to make things worse with her parents. She doesn't want her parents to not want her to be with me. She said she wants to wait till its a better time. So until then we can just be friends. <-- That hurt.
I was extremely happy the way things where turning out and they just came to a sudden violent halt.
I kept talking to her to try and figure out why and she told me her dad yells a lot for no reason. I talked to her about her about it just tried to help her through it. Anyway I don't know if im just over thinking it or if shes just playing with me. Again im just a 17 year old idiot who knows nothing, but its been making me really sad and almost depressed. We used to text/snapchat constantly, but know i rarely hear from her. What do you guys think? | A girl and I were going heavy, but she suddenly stopped it because of something with her parents. What do you guys think? |
t3_33to7z | relationships | [Serious] Engaged at 22. | My girlfriend and I have been dating for six years and go to the same college. We have one more year left in college beginning in August. What do you guys think about a Christmas proposal? This would leave us with one more semester in college.
We have talked about it and definitely want to live together after graduation. I will be going to grad school and she will be entering the workforce.
Is this too early to get engaged? We both know we want to be together, but I'm worried that getting engaged while still in college is a bad idea from other posts I've seen. I just know we want to be married in the next two years, I don't want to propose in the summer, and we also don't want a short engagement (i.e. less than 12 months).
This plan would put us married at 23.
Any thoughts? | Want to get engaged while still in college, scared it is too young, will mess up last semester of college |
t3_fmpnt | AskReddit | How do I gain weight when I have a super fast metabolism? | Hey Reddit, I was reading FreshmanFightinThe15's post about getting in shape and was wondering how I could do the same, but gain weight. In my freshman year in college, I tried working out every day and drank protein shakes and ate a LOT of meat. The ending result was a gain of 5 pounds (I went from 120 to 125). There has to be a more efficient way of gaining weight right? I'm 5'10" and I know that I'm underweight; however, I am pretty healthy. I usually do hip hop dancing and play basketball at least 4 days of the week. What foods should I eat? What kind of work outs should I do? Oh yeah hopefully the foods are healthy foods, not food that will just give me a big gut. | What foods should I eat and what work outs should I do to gain weight healthily (I have a super fast metabolism)? |
t3_2m8sj3 | relationships | I [15F] am having a crush on my second cousin [16M], who is my childhood friend | Throwaway account because I feel really ashamed about this..
We were really close friends back when we were kids because I have lived with my late grandma (who lives in front of my great uncle's house) for a few years. He frequently visits his grandpa on weekends and school breaks. I would always play with him and his younger brother.
Since my grandma passes away about three years ago I rarely saw him. Fast foward to a few months ago, my family decided to check on my late grandma's house and visit my great uncle. And right enough, he was there. He has changed a lot since the last time I saw him and I felt really... weird about this situation. I don't know if I actually have a crush on him or not but since then I can't stop thinking about him. We haven't even conversed the last time because I felt really shy and a few minutes after I was there he was out. I don't even have his number so we haven't been in contact.
I'm having mixed feelings about this because he's my second cousin which is weird enough to have crushes on considering our parents knew each other very well and because I can't just stop thinking about the good times we had together when we were kids. I wish things were like back then. And I don't even know if he actually cares about me as much now and that makes me somewhat upset. What should I do to stop this feeling??
I've never been in a relationship before and to be honest this is probably my first time ever I had a real crush on a guy. I'm not really homoromantic, I've just never really been attracted to a guy before and this is a very... very awkward feeling (I'm pretty much a loser). | Having a crush on second cousin and would like to get rid of this feeling. |
t3_2jyass | relationship_advice | How long is 'too long' before meeting the parents? | I've (29F) been with my SO (29M) for 9 months now. He's met 2 of my friends, and I've met one of his. He comes from a strict culture and religion (orthodox), however he himself is quite liberal and does not attach himself strongly to religion. I haven't met his family and i believe he has no intention to do so in the near future.
I moved home a couple months ago because of personal extenuating circumstances, and although he initially briefly met my parents, he expressed that he wasn't ready to be involved in the family.
He is very down to earth, outgoing, supportive, patient, tender, loving and compassionate. We've expressed our love for each other and do so regularly.
In the back of my mind, i can't help but think that maybe his family wouldn't approve of me (culturally/religiously/education/job), or that he just doesn't see commitment with me. We did previously break up for about a week because he Didn't know what the future held, but came back saying he loves be and he can't lose me.
Is 9 months too long? How do i respectfully bring up this issue in regards to his culture/religion? How do you know when the relationship Just won't move forward? I don't want to lose him, he's incredible and i love him, but i don't want to be a temporary fix. I think often that if i were a similar background; i would have met them by now. Am i just Ms right now? | 9 months without family/friend integration; loving relationship, but stagnant. Is it because i don't fit the cultural /religious image? |
t3_1a1eqm | AskReddit | Roommates of Reddit, what is your worst roommate story? | In college, I had a roommate that smelled awful. People passing by our room would comment on how bad our room stunk and it was embarrassing. Every night I would Febreeze him and put carpet deodorizing powder in his shoes. One night, while he was asleep, I could smell his rancid breath from my desk so I convinced myself I could poor Listerine in his mouth without him noticing. He woke up and was pissed. I said I was climbing into my bed to get my phone (we had bunk beds) and it must have accidentally spilled into his mouth. | Roommate had minty shitty breath |
t3_1mvad6 | needadvice | Why has everyone abandoned me? | Why has everyone abandoned me instead of doing for me what I've been doing for them for so many years?
Sometimes during my teenage years I noticed that many people feel very lonely.
I'm a woman, not particularly attractive, but all I had to do was show empathy and understanding for the guy and no beautiful woman stood a chance next to me.
And it worked even for friendships. As soon as I would show a guy or a girl that I am ready to listen to them and stand by them they would stick to me like glue.
I think this made me understand the incredible importance of human connection.
I believe I'm a highly emphatic person. Of course it's difficult to judge such a thing about myself but from how other people react and talk about me, I believe it to be true.
Once I spent 3 hours with a guy who was telling me how much he misses his ex. Fun times.
But then I got ill. So ill that I can't leave the apartment. I'm still the same person, equally fun as before, I just can't go out with them and I can't accommodate their schedule.
I haven't seen any of my "friends" for 3 years. At the beginning they visited me a few times, but very soon they got bored with it. I can actually kind of understand it, but what I can't understand is that they don't even send a text or call me once in a while.
Even if they weren't my friends, isn't that a common courtesy to do to someone who is in such a difficult situation?
And now I am that desperately lonely person. Sometimes a whole day passes that I don't see another human being. It feels like I'm drowning and no one cares.
Why are they so incapable to do for me what I've been doing for them all these years? | I've been there for everyone in my life when they needed me, but now that I need them they've all disappeared. What have I done wrong? |
t3_tn7hh | relationship_advice | Possibly starting LDR for 8 months. GF has cheated with previous bf and still hangs out with exes. Worth it? | I (21m) am getting upset about the fact that she (21f) is still hanging out with her exes. We have been dating for a 2 months. She justifies it by saying that these guys are her friends. One of these guys she was in a one year relationship with and the other she had been hooking up with in a friends with benefits kind of deal for the last year until she met me.
She has not yet even told them that we are in a relationship. I asked her if she thought them knowing would change the dynamics of their relationship, and she said it probably would.
With the first guy, she says when they went out it was more like they were friends or family then bf and gf. They get dinner and lunches time to time and she usually says its with "a friend" instead of tell me that it's him. I find out later only by chance.
The second guy she has been friends with for the past two years. She has since "ended it" with him but after an initial falling out where he told all their mutual friends that she caused him pain and angst and blamed it all on her, they are friends again. He is part of her main friend group and they party and hang out all the time.
Her being friends with them is not what bothers me. It's the fact that it seems sometimes like she is hiding it from me and me from them. Also when we are hanging out, she is texting them and they have no clue that I am with her.
I'm scared that my feelings of something being off comes from immaturity and jealousy, but I still am wary of these other guys who have a lot of history with her. I am trying to be open about my feelings with her and communicating.
Is this relationship worth it? We are about to be separated for 8 months. she has cheated on hey bf from high school when they went off to college. she says she feels differently with me and that she feels like she could be different with me. | gf still talks and hangs out with her exes and they don't know about me. |
t3_1ak99d | relationships | (25M) dating an unaffectionate (26F) , not exactly sure on what to do. | Dated girl since first week of January. We previously dated from September - November, broke up in December due to her just being an unaffectionate girlfriend. I know what you're thinking, "why go back?" She had told me she had had some issues while we were dating and said she wasn't happy "being around" anyone at the time. Which I did believe cause she honestly didn't. We started dating again in January after a week of talking and her just admitting she still loved me after a month of being broken up and that her family missed me and she missed me.
After another two months of dating, she's back to being unaffectionate again. I am the only one initiating hugging, kissing. She will text me constantly throughout the day and sometimes invite me over to her house to sleep together. When I usually do get there, she is already in bed. I try initiating just simply cuddling which she complains saying she needs to go to sleep (this is happening every time now). We just got back from a 3 day trip, slept twice together, not once did she want sex, cuddling, anything. We would walk around, never would simply hold my hand.
I'm getting frustrated again. I don't think she is cheating or has "fell out of love." We literally text ALL DAY, to the end of the night with her telling me she loves me. It's just we have no more intimacy anymore. I've tried talking to her about this and she will say "What are you talking about" or "stop complaining." It's getting old and I don't know what to do anymore. | Dated girlfriend for 2 months, level of intimacy is going way down again. |
t3_mblof | self | Awkwardness at the bar. | My buddies and I go to our favorite neighborhood bar 2-3 times a week. It's run by the owner, his son, and his daughter - they're the only 3 employees. Last night, the daughter was there with a couple of her friends drinking (she wasn't working), and the two of us ended up making out. The son wasn't there, but the father was tending bar, and he was definitely not pleased by this scene. Her and I were both drunk and I honestly completely forgot that he was even there.
Bottom line is, I'm a bit nervous about going back. My friends are not gonna want to go somewhere else all because of me, and frankly I'd rather not either, since I love this place. I'm thinking about apologizing to the guy next time I go in, but then again I don't want to make it awkward - so i'm also thinking of just pretending nothing happened. Apologizing would be the right thing to do, though.
Does anyone else have a similar experience? Any advice?
Also, I am not trying to 'brag' or anything; would just like to hear some opinions of others. | Made out with the bartender's daughter at the bar I go to often. He saw us and was not happy. |
t3_4kwfii | relationships | I (29M) need to know if she/co-worker (26F) has a boyfriend. I have a long-term girlfriend (29F). | I have a long term relationship (6 years) with my girlfriend. Recently there's this new girl at work and she's been flirting with me. She's great and because she seems interested I can't stop thinking about her out of work. So much, it's ridiculous. But I would never, ever cheat on my girlfriend. But it's hard having strong feelings for another person. It's stupid, but makes me question my current relationship.
I keep thinking about one thing: if she actually has a boyfriend and is just flirting for fun it would solve EVERYTHING.
How should I approach this situation? It would be incredibly awkward to ask her directly, independently of the answer... | I feel the only way to clear my head is finding she has a boyfriend. How can I do this? |
t3_fdjyb | AskReddit | Hey Reddit...would you stop talking to your best friend of the opposite sex if your SO asked you to? | Ok so what had happened was... My girlfriend of 2 years (let's call her Karen) and my best friend of 10 years (we'll call her Danica) never got along from the first time they met. Karen always told me Danica had some feelings for me and flirted with me. I knew it was there but I chose to ignore and deny.
One night, Danica calls my phone blasting the "I don't like your girlfriend" song by Avril Lavigne. It's late at night but I was up studying and Karen just crawled in bed next to me and heard the song through the speaker because I had to pull the phone away from my ear since it was so loud.
A couple days later, I confronted Danica about this and she stated it was a joke and she apologized. We ended up not very much talking for a few months afterwards.
Time went by, I randomly texted Danica to see how she was and what she was up to. She asked who it was. Come to find out, she deleted my number and said she decided it would just be easier on me since she knew every time Karen and I brought Danica's name up, it resulted in an argument. I insisted we stay friends no matter what and I'll just deal with Karen's getting upset.
Several months later, still very little talking going on, I moved out of state for a semester of school and Karen stayed back home. On a road trip out to California (where I was flying to school from) Karen and I found out she is pregnant. Woo!
A week or 2 later, I'm in school and start talking to Danica again, mostly texting. I bring this up to Karen, she begins to get upset again, ignored me all yesterday, and is now making me choose between being with her or staying friends with Danica.
I love Karen and our bundle on the way, but it's still hard to give up a 10 year friendship.
Any similar experiences and/or advice? | My pregnant girlfriend wants me to stop talking to my best friend because of some feelings that came up from my friend. What to do? |
t3_2bvg4l | relationships | Me [18F] and a guy that i like very much [23 M] talk a lot on kik but i feel like he sometimes ignores me, could it be because i am needy? | okay as you can see i am a teenager and i might sound imature and super childish for some of you. but truth is that i am very insecure (feel ugly and pointless and etc) and needy (i need people all the time to tell me i look cute and that i am smart etc-need validation). this super hot guy who i am chatting with on kik is so nice to me and seems to love my body so much and my looks in general. we also talk about other things (not just naughty chats). but i seem to get a little obsessed sometimes and message him a lot and he replies me short answers and seems just sick of me. maybe i am exaggerating..? but never been in a relationship and when i talk to a guy even on the internet i feel so excited and stuff. should i just give him space and stop messaging him and when i do just naughty stuff? | ! i(F18) sometimes feel like i message him(M23) too much and he doesn't reply me but the message has been seen. that hurts me so much. maybe i should give him space? |
t3_q6qnf | AskReddit | Help me identifying what lexical technique I am using. | Ok so I am currently writing a commentary for a Review I wrote for the game Minecraft, in this commentary I am required to analyse the techniques I used in my writing. Now I am not very good at this and require your help to identify if I used some sort of technique. Right I start off my review with "If ever the phrase "never judge a book by its cover" could be more appropriate, Minecraft takes first place!" Now I was wondering if the never judge a book by its cover bit is some sort of technique... Any help would be appreciated :) | Is there a lexical technique used in this line, "If ever the phrase "never judge a book by its cover" could be more appropriate, Minecraft takes first place!" |
t3_1ycn6u | relationships | Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [28 F] duration 1 year, is her behaviour clingy? | We have been on a 1 year relationship and the last six months has been LDR. We are doing okay with a lot of phone calls and watching movies online together etc to keep away this distance and we are working towards moving together soon. (One of us has to make a big compromise).
Off late, I have been hearing the following from her repeatedly on different occasions. I am confused if these are "signs" that I should note. I am scared to make the big compromise now for her.
1. She cries a lot and tells me I am not making efforts to make her feel better. Whenever I see/hear her cry, I lose my day/night. I am sad too.
2. She constantly tells me how lonely she is because all her friends are going out with their boyfriends for movies etc. When I ask her to just hold on for a few more months, she goes hysteric.
3. She is constantly being asked for dates by other guys and she keeps telling no to them. It always sounds to me as if she was doing a favor in being with me.
4. She says she will leave me if I don't have a plan to move with her and marry her asap and so she can have children. I do not even have a permanent job to think about it yet. I am still in grad school trying to finish my degree.
We are in a situation where we cannot make the move for atleast one more year. It really makes me feel sad to see this relationship suffer like this. We really have a great connection and don't know if we can do something about it. | Girlfriend freaking out constantly in a LDR. I am getting anxious. |
t3_4a8wbg | relationships | I [18/M] made out with my friend's [18/M] ex-girlfriend [18/F] | Hi /r/relationships,
My friend and his girlfriend split up 6 months ago, although they have been very close up until recently. I am very attracted to this girl, and I know that she is also attracted to me - I would very much like to have a friends with benefits situation with her, and I am confident that she feels the same way.
In order to not lose a friend over this, I asked my friend how he would feel if me and his ex became more than friends, to which he said that it would bother him, and that he would prefer me to wait. This was before he became interested in another girl [18/F], who he obviously has feelings for, although it is not yet official. They are very close, and have gone on dates together, but I don't know if they have a relationship.
This past weekend, all four of us were at the same party. After a night of drinking, me and my friend's ex made out in another room (nobody knows about this). I know this was a dick move to my friend, but we were both drunk and it kind of just happened.
At the moment I plan to back off from her and wait until my friend has moved on.
What is the best way to proceed? | I made out with my friend's ex (in secret) after friend told me to wait before pursuing his ex. |
t3_12vhdb | AskReddit | My severely autistic cousin voted on Tuesday. Reddit, do you think that this is right? | First off, I'm not trying to deny anyone their right to vote.
A little background for you guys: my cousin is 18 years old, and was adopted by my aunt when he was a baby. At the time, she had no idea he was a drug baby. He has always required constant supervision and has very little grasp on the working of society, never mind the economy, international relations etc. Also, this past summer while at a family party, I watched him jump on my 16 year old nephews head and while screaming that he was Super Mario. I don't believe he posses the mental capacity to be able to make a sound decision while voting. | my cousin is severely autistic and has no grasp on reality, should he be allowed to vote? |
t3_1hbe64 | relationships | 28m late bloomer, needing help with getting past the first date | I recently had to take a break from dating over the winter while I was in basic training(non-US military). I've never been great at dating and was definitely a late bloomer in that regard. However i was improving and getting much better with women before leaving. Some parts of my past have been alittle sketchy(I was never an addict or have any demons hiding in the closet). But I did do things like work at a sketchy strip club to get buy, got kicked out a apartment(staff housing) and lived in my car for a short time, experimented with drugs, fights etc, but that is all in the past.
At the beginning of May I arrived in my current city and found out that this will be my posting for the next 4 years(longest I stayed anywhere since I was 18) and probably more. I'm getting settled and looking to buy a house here.
In the end I'm looking for a relationship but have trouble getting pass the texting phase or first date(I do online dating) In a one case we got drunk and sleep together but I wasn'tinterested. Also I have a date coming with someone I'm excited to meet for the first time in a long time.
Does anyone have any advice on things I should/shouldn't do to help get a second date or prevent things from falling flat before the first date. | Late bloomer always had trouble getting second dates. Takes a break to join military, finally has life sorted out. Needs advice on getting second dates. |
t3_2mmcim | relationship_advice | (18M) So there's this girl (19F) that I'm crushing on but there's a guy that complicates things. | For the past 2 months, I've talking to this girl and recently I've started to like her. We sit next to each other everyday in one class and we started talking when we did group work. Eventually, I found out she was in another one of my classes (lecture) and we would often talk about that class as well, but wouldn't sit together (again, because we didn't know we had the class together until like last month). So I really started to grow attracted to her the more we talked. I feel like she responds well whenever I talk to her and was actually about to ask her on a date but then something got in the way.
There's this dude in our lecture class that sat next to her and sits next to her everyday. He's not in our first class, but he is in the lecture. I noticed that they're often together and talking and was starting to think that maybe he's her boyfriend or something, and that maybe she was just being friendly with me.
Then, recently, she moved from all the way across the lecture room to come sit with me and I was beginning to think that she for sure is also interested in me. But sure enough, he followed.
It had crossed my mind that maybe he's just a really good friend and maybe they just hang out a lot (I have this type of relationship with another female friend from HS), but somehow, I still have my doubts. For example, today, after lecture, her and I had a review session for an exam coming up. I figured "Ok, it'll just be us 2 going back to our dorms where the review session was, and I'll just ask her then." I didn't expect it but again, the dude followed. It seems like they were going to study or MAYBE hang out, but I'm not sure. Well, him tagging along is what ultimately made me not ask her.
So I don't know. What do you all think/recommend I should do?
Am I just over-thinking things? (as I tend to do)
Should I just make my move without worrying about possibly being in an awkward situation? | Chick I like, feels like she likes back, but hangs out with a dude A LOT, not sure if boyfriend. What do? |
t3_266y6k | relationships | Me- (18M) trying to make something out of a friendship with (22F) | Well here we go, I've come on here figuring I might as well see what advice the scholars of reddit have to say! I'm an (18M) who just recently moved into the Portland area. I recently hit it off with a (22F) at a friends party. I recently got out of a 20 month relationship that ended badly with me being cheated on, but that's not really the issue. It's more of how can I make the girl I'm talking to now show whether she is really interested? She is horrible at texting/messaging which I totally understand, but when she responds it's hours later. Originally she had just given me her Facebook and told me to message her but now after our first "date"/"lunch" she's given me her number and hugged me while saying our goodbyes. When we talk we make constant eye contact and she can't seem to stop laughing/smiling at anything I say. But what can I do next? | 18M too much of a ***** to make next move on 22F |
t3_up75v | AskReddit | What is your most awesome internal monologue you've had to a trivial thing? | So, I rushing to the bathroom (a bowel movement was quite overdue), but before I could sit down I noticed a small spider right in the corner (I'm a bit arachnophobic). I stand there for about 10 minutes just thinking to myself "please move spider, please move". Then, I start thinking something along the lines of this:
"Why should I be afraid of this little spider? It's just as afraid of me-- likely even more-- than I am of it. Furthermore, is me being afraid of this spider for the actions of a select few members of his kind any better than being racist? [Yes, but not by enough.] Also, it probably was fear itself which made those select spiders do what they did. So, trying to be a good representative of our species, I finish on the toilet-- and after that take a shower-- with only the occasional glance at the spider." | Overcame arachnophobia, allowing me to take a peaceful dump by talking it over with myself. |
t3_3chz0l | relationships | Me [21 F] with my [22 M] boyfriend of 6 years... Am I overreacting? | I have a feeling I'm overreacting about this, but I wanted to get some other opinions. For the most part my boyfriend is pretty shy, although he does love to hang out with friends and be social sometimes, it just depends on his mood. In high school we were both more flirtatious but as we have grown up and matured neither of us are like that anymore. He does not flirt with other girls (to my knowledge, obviously) but I really believe he doesn't because it's just something he isn't comfortable with socially.
Anyway. Lately on Reddit I've been noticing him commenting on a gaming subreddit. He is a big gamer so that isn't particularly weird but a lot of the comments are on pictures on anime cosplayers naked or close to it. These are not women he knows, but I wouldn't call them "famous" either, more like well known in that community. The girls in the pictures are not the posters, so he isn't commenting to them directly but his comments are always things like "I would let her sit on my face all night" or "any more pictures with her in them? I'm so thirsty right now." For some reason seeing this stuff really bothers me. Should it? | Boyfriend comments on pictures of girls saying how sexy they are and what he would do to them, should I be upset? |
t3_1w6hz9 | relationships | I [30 M] am having confusing feelings about a recent short-term ex [late 20s M]; how do I navigate this? | We met in mid-November, spent basically all our time together. He's the first person I have connected with like this in maybe close to five years. We agreed to be exclusive, after I initiated the conversation, during mid/late December.
There was a lot of really good stuff, loved spending time with him. Sex was not the best either of us had ever had, but that might be something that could improve (only happened a couple times). Spent holidays together, it was mostly great.
Then for NYE, he told me he had made plans and didn't invite me until after I had made other plans. It wasn't a big deal; we decided to hang out beforehand. Then after dinner on NYE, he says he wants to continue dating but isn't into being exclusive. I clarify that, at this point, that's important to me, and I'm not interested in dating him anymore if he wants to see/screw other people. (I don't know if he was talking about dating or just sex, my feelings about them would be different, but ultimately, at this point, same conclusion). So I leave, sad about it but I still manage to have a fun NYE, haven't seen him again.
He calls a couple weeks later to ask me to hang out, to do something we had made plans to do before. I decline, we were never friends, and the fact that we aren't dating anymore doesn't make us friends now. I remember the nice stuff about dating him, and it makes me sad that we aren't having those nice times anymore. He apologizes for opening up fresh wounds; I tell him that I know where to find him if I change my mind.
**Tonight!**: I get a text saying "i miss you. you're all i think about. you're a wonderful human being." (What does this meeeean?) I didn't see it till a few hours later, non-responded "how can i respond to that," and now, since apparently he's asleep and i have time to figure out what to say, i'd like to get some input and figure out how i can respond to that. | what to say/what to consider when someone you dated briefly but intensely, and whom you miss, texts "i miss you. you're all i think about"? |
t3_euug9 | relationships | Is he being jealous or is he right? | Novelty account since the person I'm seeing is a fellow redditor
I'm going to try to keep this post as short as possible without leaving any important details out. I've been talking to this guy for only about 3 months now, but the pace picked up awfully fast especially when he started asking where "we" were going after the first time we slept together. He seemed genuinely worried about the subject and, while I reassured him that I do like him, I told him we will cross that bridge when we find it.
So some time passes and the subject of "us" and how he wants to be serious is continually brought up. Eventually I ask him to officially be my boyfriend, I figured that might make his confidence a bit stronger and plus, I really did like him. I wanted to date him.
After 3 days he broke up with me saying that he had to handle some personal issues. While it seemed like a bullshit reason at first I respected it and told him we should still be close.
Now however, he is constantly assuming that any interaction I have with a man is flirtatious. He constantly criticizes my body language and we will get into huge fights about the subject quite often. He keeps pointing out everything I do wrong and reads over my shoulder as I text other people. | No matter how much reassuring or how much I focus on him, he focuses only on the negative. Is he jealous or is this a legitimate way of handling things? |
t3_16d7ds | AskReddit | Hey porn watchers, where and how do you get your porn? | Warning: a few naughty words and details: nsfw
I'm into 2d (anime: Hentai, Ecchi, etc)
I only watched a couple videos because I'm scared to search on. Sometimes I'm watching a really good one and then they start doing really kinky, mao, sadistic things like sharp objects... I won't go into further detail. I like something nice, simple, and straight to the point. I don't like the repetitive ones where a dudes just fucking a girl and there's a lot of moaning involved. I prefer ones with a lot of kissing, caressing nipples, and not so detailed vaginas. Please, no blood or any weird messed up shit. Something like KissXsis? That'd be nice. Please let me know the titles of them and if so, a download link?
Please help a sister out. I've been watching the same porn videos, over and over again. I pretty much memorized all of them. I want more to watch. Thank you my brother and sisters of the porn watcher society. | I want clean porn, give me |
t3_rbsgy | AskReddit | Keeping my rooms secure from my housemate? | So i've been sharing house with three people for about 8-9 months. One guy who was my friend when i moved in has turned out to be a lying sneaky bastard. He also is absolutely selfish. In the beginning he had parties several times a week, one which resulted in my room being flooded with water from the upstairs bathroom. He used to hide bills from us, and unless you could prove he had to pay something or do something he would just lie to get away. And he's in some legal battle with a previous housemate. He's recently had problems paying his rent and the landlord wants him out, but the landlord is also lazy so it hasn't happened yet (the rest of us were hoping he would get kicked out). And three weeks ago a laptop got stolen from another housemate.
SO, until i find a new place to live, i want to keep my room secure. I already installed a lock on the outside of my door and a latch on the inside. But this guy also likes to pick locks so i'm not 100% sure this would keep him out. So i was thinking a camera in my room, or if anyone knows a really good lock? | my housemate is an asshole, i need to secure my room until i can move out. Ideas about locks or cameras? Or hey, any ideas how to efficently get back at him are welcome to. |
t3_r13dg | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, Have you ever done a good moral deed that you've had conflict of regret with? | Walking down Telegraph street (or Martin Luther King way... don't remember) in Berkeley, I was 20 feet away from the local gamestop as I was heading there with some friends and I. The streets were busy and a man in a suit walking with a woman dressed formally shuffled past almost knocking into us on the street. Suddenly I heard a slap on the concrete and looked down to see a bank envelope. I looked to see the couple unaware and booking it in the direction they were walking, than I looked around. There were tons of people just looking at us. A few homeless people and the other traditional type of people you would see in a not-so-nice area of a city. Without a thought or temptation though, I picked up the envelope, which was heavy and began to follow the couple into the middle of an intersection. I didn't know there was actually money in the envelope till I got a glance of its contents upon handing it back. I didn't take any of it. And when I gave it back the man simply said 'Oh thanks' took it back, and continued walking without regard or even a glance at me as a person. I was somewhat appalled but know I did the 'right' thing.
Still it somewhat haunts me to know how much was in the envelope and if I should have kept it. Especially how I was brushed off. I know I had a sea of witnesses but why not have shared it? Done a robin hood type thing or taken it and scatted off. Maybe the money was initially stolen and I should have returned it to the bank from whence it came or even the police? I'll never know.
Maybe I'm just too nice. I still get the 'what-ifs' even though I know morally I did the good thing, regardless of the feedback I got. One should not expect a reward in everything they do. | found money, disregard of honest thanks upon returning |
t3_3746zw | relationships | Me [F19] with my bf [M19] have broken up on pretty good terms. What now? | We'd been dating a little over a year. Much of it was long distance as we were both in school, and he was off in a different state. A little over a month ago things changed, well people change, and long story short he felt uncertain of what he wanted. He changed and started treating me differently. To me at that point it was basically over I suppose. He didnt know what to do or how to end things as he still cared about me as a person and didnt want to hurt me, but it just wasnt going to work on his end anymore. He waited till he got back in town to tell me. I was in shock initially, but I knew all along really. We called it a break at first but we've decided to stick with break up.
So basically we have been broken up a little over a month. We have kept in contact, and hung out since he has come back a week ago. Talked about things together and such. Thing is we both enjoy each others company and want to still do that and keep in touch, but I dont know if I could do that if we come to start seeing other people.. At the same time i find my self at some point maybe wanting to move on and meet other people. (Not look for anything serious, just kinda socialize get to know what i like.) He has said that he would be ok with me finding a relationship as long as the new guy is good to me. I would want the same for him. I still love him and would want the best for him, but i feel like there would be jealousy on someones end. Especially if we stay friends. I don't know how that would work. I don't want a new relationship right now, but as Ive been moving on this has been something ive been thinking about. | summery: BF and I broke up after a year of dating, most of it long distance. We just "officially" called its end, but its really been over for over a month now. We are on good terms and he wants to stay friends, and Id like that too as it was the foundation of our relationship, and we get along very well. But i don't know if we can do this if we start seeing other people because of lingering feels or jealousy, and on top of it I don't know when is to soon to mingle again. |
t3_2xfoyb | tifu | TIFU by seeing Ariana Grande from across the room without even realizing it | So I was at a production of a play at my university with three of my friends, sitting pretty far from the entrance. We see a woman come in wearing all white with a really high ponytail with super long bleached brunette hair and one of my friends goes "ha ha, is that Ariana Grande" and we all laughed and said "Ha ha, yeah, that does look a lot like her, the hair is really similar" and then started talking about how long her hair is.
Jokingly, I said "but nah, there's no way, she's standing on her own legs, if that was Ariana she'd be in someone's arms" referring to various rumors of her being a diva and refusing to walk anywhere among other things ( This is all a joke, because I love Ariana Grande, and I would go to such far lengths to have an opportunity to meet her in person.
Two of my friends leave after intermission then text me near the end of intermission that that was really her and I should get a picture. I laughed again like "yeah, I'm not falling for that guys" and enjoyed the rest of the performance. When I got home and got on Facebook, I saw LITERALLY FIVE profile pictures of my friends that took selfies with her INSIDE OUR STUDENT CENTER. I SAW HER. AND INSTEAD OF TAKING A PICTURE WITH HER, WHICH SHE DID WITH MULTIPLE OF MY PEERS, I SHIT TALKED HER IN HER APPROXIMATE VICINITY
Apparently since she's doing a show in the area I go to school in, and her friend was in the production of the play, she stopped by. I think she left during intermission bc I didn't see her leave at the end. | i am a super ariana grande fan, saw ariana grande from across the room, concluded it was just a doppelganger, shit talked her while she was 100 ft away from us, came home to find out it was actually her, died. |
t3_26d4ds | relationships | I [21 M] am going to do it. I'm going to ask her [20 F] out. | First off, please forgive any potential grammar and spelling mistakes. I know it's a rule, but it's 3 am and I can't sleep because I've been up thinking about it.
She and I have been dear friends for about 2 years now. She's helped me through some of the roughest times in my life, which include self-loathing, depression, and overall feelings of helplessness due to the relentless pounding of life at my feeble mental defenses. I treasure her friendship and company. She's recently single (a couple of months now, I believe) and has no clue that I feel this way. Hell, I didn't until recently, but now is the time.
When I talk to her, her honesty and compassion strike me to the bone, and I think she has one of the loveliest souls in the entire universe. She has seen me at my most vulnerable and has walked with me through the valleys of life and has been there herself.
Maybe this bold move is inappropriate, and by no means am I saying that I'm in love, but I think that she needs to know how I feel. This has the potential to reshape our friendship, and I am completely ready for rejection, but I just desperately need her to know how much she means to me. Also, I'm not going to spill my heart out, as that would definitely be inappropriate and rather lame, but I am going to play it cool and hope for the best.
What do you think? | I'm going to ask her out tomorrow, after 2 years of uncertainty. |
t3_1z0aw4 | offmychest | To those who think the world owes them something... | We come into this life not deserving of anything. We don't deserve the good, but we also don't deserve the bad. 'Life' is just your experiences, it's your memories. You have to take what you get, and strive for what you want. Just because you may be a kind, selfless person doesn't mean you should expect every day to come with a basket full of butterflies and rainbows, so don't have a fit when it doesn't. Someone will always be more fortunate than you, but remember that you will always be more fortunate than someone else. Appreciate the good that has come into your life and don't dwell on the bad. *Shit*, appreciate that you have a life to live in the first place, because currently being alive already makes you more fortunate than a countless amount of others. | The world doesn't owe you shit. Make life what you want it to be or something cheesy like that. I don't know. K bye. |
t3_1vpi1h | AskReddit | Suggest a good college course? | Hey I am an 18 year old Canadian kid. And I want to go to college but I am not entirely sure what for. I already went to college for a semester but ultimately I didn't want to do the course.
The course was Networking. I am a bit of a computer geek but I don't have any interest in pursuing a career in it. It's more of a hobby and I felt that working on computers would ultimately ruin my hobby of playing on them. (I already was starting to dread going home to my computer from just doing the course)
I was thinking about taking the course "Child and Youth Worker" but when I went back to my high school to talk to the teacher in the position I wanted to work at and she told me to take the course. But I told her specifically I don't want to deal with kids that have severe mental disabilities just kids that had minor ones like ADD, ADHD, Dyslexia, or behavior problems like the students she had taught. I feel like I would do good in this position, but she told me I will have to eventually deal with kids that have bad mental disabilities (from my understanding of what she was telling me). But it also sounded like she said meant it depended on the position I got at a school or other center. I also talked to the professor that taught this at my previous school and she told me that it had changed and that an Educational Assistant is what the old CYW course is. If people could give me some instance of their experience in this field I would appreciate it.
I was also thinking about just taking a course in the skilled trades, such as electrician or plumber but I am not really all that handy. | I want to go to college for a non-tech related thing. Kind of want to do something in child development but don't want to deal with bad mental illnesses. Maybe do a trade? |
t3_3moja3 | relationships | Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [26 M] of 3 years. I have gained some weight that I want to lose but my friends acts sad that he would miss my butt! [NSFW] | EDIT: made typo on title... it should say boyfriend not friends
Me and Nick have been together since 3 years ago. When we met me I was very thin and had lost 20 lbs since high school. He had never seen me at that heavier weight before or any pictures, so he just met me when I was skinny. I am 5'8'' but I have a big bone structure so it doesn't look so visible to gain or lose 10 lbs. I also gain most of the weight in my hips and butt when I do gain weight and my stomach usually remains flat. However around 8 months ago I gained a lot of weight due to stress and antidepressants. I went from being 125 lbs at 5'8'' to 155 lbs in a few months. I felt very insecure about the gain weight, but my boyfriend loved how my butt and hips got so much bigger! Our sex life became different and he was really into my butt and hips! However, I like to go back to my normal weight and have started to diet and exercise. My boyfriend says he loves that I am taking caring of my body but says can I just lose wieght on my waist and stomach and keep my butt and hips the same. I tell him that is not possible to lose weight only in one area. He keeps looking sad that I will not have the same butt and hip if I lose weight and he is not telling me not to lose weight but I feel bad and am afraid he would not be so much into me anymore if lose all my weight. I don't know what I should do. | I have gained weight and want to lose it but my boyfriend acts sad that I will no longer have big butts and hips! |
t3_2xpi2v | askwomenadvice | Why spend time with a friend instead of a friend you're also attracted to? | I (50M) have a beautiful friend (42F). Unfortunately for me she only wants to be friends. She has no problem being with whoever she wants so I can only assume I don't make the attractiveness cut. Such is life. So I tell my heart to stop daydreaming and put effort into online dating.
Here's what I don't understand. I'm not particularly special, seriously, I'm not. She can easily find people who are attractive and have all my positive attributes. Yet she spends a lot of her rare free time, she's a single mom, alone with me doing couples stuff. For example sipping wine and falling asleep in my arms while we're watching a movie on the sofa. Or texting to tell me that she misses me and wants to have dinner at a newly opened romantic restaurant. Can you explain why she spends her time with me, when she could be spending her time with somebody that she's also attracted to? | why would a woman with plenty of options spend her time doing couples stuff with a guy who's only a friend? |
t3_4ha3jr | relationships | Me [30's F] with my Potential Employer [40's M] newly acquainted, But I'm a bit creeped out - Non-Romantic/Professional | I applied to a job that sounded great, as they always do. It still does, but when I got through the personality tests, uploaded my resume, and finally made contact with the employer, things got weird.
He asked tough questions, and mentioned he would definitely call everyone on my resume. This seemed weird, as he hadn't asked for references yet, and I don't know of anyone who provides every single previous employer - nor do I know of anyone who has a good rapport with 100% of their previous employers. So, after 2 days of phone interviews, his secondary asks me for my references.
I provide 2 business and 1 personal, because they didn't specify a number etc. He specifically asks for an additional contact, from my resume, which I provided.
After 4 days of this, he asks for a face to face meeting, which I accepted. He begins to tell me about the companies he spoke to, that I didn't provide, and how he thought it was weird that one wouldn't tell him any details about me - only my dates of employment. I'm pretty sure that's due to the NDA we both signed, so legally that was all they (or i) could discuss, as is the case with a LOT of companies. This didn't stop him from basically guiding me down a road of questions intended to make me tell him things I signed a letter stating I wouldn't.
Now, I wouldn't even take the job if he offered, this level of "vetting" is creepy and feels like a giant invasion of privacy. I'm concerned about who else he might have called that I didn't specifically provide, including the company I currently contract with. I'm also curious if he ended up reaching someone other than HR at the company I had the NDA with, and if someone broke it. (It was a harassment thing - where I was being harassed, and it was several years ago, and the only time in my life anything like that had happened - but it looks like i'm being punished for it, even though I was the one being harassed!?) | How much of my privacy is a potential employer legally allowed to invade during their "vetting" process? Am I wrong to feel really creeped out right now? |
t3_34cbzb | tifu | TIFU by "Winning" a grammar contest | Today I received a meeting invitation for a lunch seminar on writing professionally in a business environment. The seminar is to be hosted by one of the directors of the prime contracting company of a contract on which my company works. It was she who sent the invitation, promising that *"...there will be a contest with a prize following the brown bag to incentivize you."*
I giggled at the misplaced modifier and then started noticing other errors in the body of the request. I went back over it and started to catalog them until I realized that this **was** the contest. I marked up the errors and replied something like "I'm on to you! when do I get my prize?"
Well, Reddit, you guessed it -- it was not the contest. | Entered a grammar contest, won a foot-in-mouth contest. |
t3_2hzphj | tifu | TIFU by making cider | Not the most interesting but thought I'd share it anyways. This morning after eating breakfast I wanted something to drink, but there was no juice. I then remember that I have little packets of cider mix (because I'm too lazy to make it myself). And since it is starting to get cool here, I thought it would be a great idea. I heat up the water for 3 minutes and go to add the mix. All of a sudden the water explodes upwards similarly to a volcano the second the mix touches the water. I now jave second degree burns on the backs of the first three fingers on my right hand. | Added cider mix to water, water exploded, have second degree burns. |
t3_kvadp | jobs | Dinner with my boss | I'm not sure if this is the correct subreddit to ask this in, and if it isn't please direct me to the correct one.
Anyway, I have been with this company for 3 months and tonight my department is going out to a farewell dinner for one of the other employees. Our boss is setting everything up and its going to be us plus our SO's. All in all it sounds like its just going to be very casual.
At the same time, this is the first outing I will have with any of the people in my department and I want to make a good impression. I'm not exactly sure what to wear; at work we just wear jeans and t-shirts, so I am thinking maybe jeans and a polo, or maybe a button down shirt to look a little nicer, thoughts?
Another question is if I should drink or not. I could pound beers with the best of them, but I have always made it a point to only drink with friends, not with coworkers because, well, you never know what could be said and I work with these people. However, the boss and everyone else seem like they enjoy drinking with each other so it might be expected. So should I just go with the flow?
And last, how much should I be expected to pay? I obviously won't be expected to pick up the tab for everyone since i am the newest member of the team and most likely paid less than everyone else, but I think maybe I should at least offer to pay for myself and my wife, even though the boss invited everyone. What do you think? | boss invited department to dinner, it will be my first outing with the department. What should I wear, should I drink if they do, and should I offer to pay? |
t3_2skxtd | personalfinance | Keeping identity safe after a questionable transaction? | A little background info:
I recently applied for a new apartment that I absolutely loved. It was a small building with just a few apartments, not a large complex. I submitted a PDF application with all my information to an email address along with a PayPal payment for the credit check to an email address listed on the apartment website. I never received a confirmation email saying they received my application. I called a day later confirm they received my info and they told me they already found a renter.
Over the phone, they said if I sent my info to them to a different email address, they would refund my credit check payment. This was a little red flag because the address was different than the address listed on the website. However, I just sent them my PayPal email address and requested a refund for the credit check they never did.
I never received any confirmation from the second email, even after waiting a few days. I filed a PayPal dispute.
I need advice on keeping my identity safe. The original application I submitted had my social security number on it, and since I never received a confirmation email, I'm concerned who might be able to access it. I currently have very good credit and I'd hate for something to happen.
I already requested my 3 free credit reports this year, so I can't access them again for free for another few months. I'm also still looking for apartments, so I need a select few people to be able to view my credit history.
If there are any free services that can help me, that would be ideal. I'm not too worried about my info because I visited the apartment and there was one for sale. I'm hoping it was just bad business practices on their end. I'm just trying to be extra cautious and proactive here. | how can I keep an eye on my credit information to see if there is any suspicious activity? |
t3_bkd92 | relationship_advice | Redditors- how do you deal with "Duckies"? | Now, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume most of you have seen "Pretty in Pink" and are relatively familiar with Duckie, the dorky little dude who is in love with the main character.
I've been with the same wonderful woman for nearly ten years now, and we're just as gay for each other today as we were when we first met. So, this isn't a relationship question in the true sense (I don't need any help, we're very happy together) but more of a general query.
My special lady is crazy hot and retardedly intelligent, and, not surprisingly, every so often one of the guys she goes to school falls in love with her. I don't blame them, she's one of a kind, and, well, shit, I love her too. The problem comes about when they start pulling what I call (for lack of a better term) being a duckie.
Duckies are guys (or girls) who harbor an unrequited love for someone who is already in a relationship. Duckies think that since they love this person SO much they are the only one who could make the object of their affection happy. So, when there is an argument, they are there, whispering "that's so lame, I would never treat a girl like that." They find reasons to hang around when the boyfriend (or girlfriend) isn't there, trying to slowly chip away at the foundation of the relationship. They use passive aggressive hints to make a case that they would be better, and, more often than not, their object of affection, naively, thinks this all just stems from a place of friendship and nothing more.
Usually they try to strike when the relationship is weakest, after an argument, when they can be a shoulder to cry on, and say "You're so beautiful, I can't believe he'd treat you that way. I never would, not in a million years." (Awkwardly move in for the kiss)
So redditors, What I ask is this, how do you deal with duckies, or as a duckie yourself, just what the hell are you thinking? | Just read the post, it's not that long. |
t3_2dkml4 | relationships | Me [25M] with my gf [25F] 5+ yrs - can counseling help this? | To keep a long story short the last year-ish has been rough after a relatively solid relationship. I was doing some things to unknowingly emotionally hurt her (mostly when I thought I was motivating or encouraging) and when she reached a breaking point she left. There was no real communication (then again I'm oblivious so I'm sure there were signs) that when I did X it made her feel Y.
Over the last few months with the help of close friends we were able to open up communication, rebuild closeness and overall get back to a healthy relationship we both enjoyed. *5 Love Languages* helped immensely in this. We learned how to make each other feel loved and the comfort levels and communication returned.
She's shared with me that her biggest doubt in all this is that things will relapse and go back to old ways and that the old residual pain is overbearing. To this end I've suggested professional counseling, either just for her or both of us, to try and work through that. Neither of us have experience with this and I'm not particularly sure what to expect.
She is somewhat on the fence about it b/c she sees it as just rehashing old pain and doesn't want to feel that again. It's my assumption that counselors (good ones, anyway) only have you experience that emotion to work towards putting it behind you and moving forward.
The ACA site says of couples counseling "Marriage counseling or couples counseling can help resolve conflicts and heal wounds." I definitely see this as more of a wound than an active conflict (I think she feels the same) so it seems like it'd be good, right?
I was hoping people could share their experiences and I could show her this thread at some point. | Can counseling help people overcome past pain and issues in trying to move forward in a relationship? |
t3_122r1e | relationships | My boyfriend is awesome except he's completely broke. All. The. Time. | Let me start by saying that I [27] love my boyfriend [29] of one and a half years very much. As far as personality/physical attractiveness goes, he's perfect. He is very loving, kind, understanding, and sexy.
His job is aweful; he makes about $90/wk. He lives at his job, so has a free apartment, but his take home is barely anything. He has a phone and credit card bill every month and most of the money he makes goes towards that. He also attends college and has it paid for by grants.
I am not the type of lady that needs lots of attention financially. I do not crave jewelry, expensive gifts, or getaways. I'd rather recieve a gift that was hand made like art or a song.
With that said, I am starting to resent my boyfriend for never having any money. I pay for almost everything. Sometimes, I truly don't mind paying. I know he is in a tight spot financially and understand he can't just go do something on a whim because of his finances. I do feel like if I don't pay for certain things, we wouldn't be able to go out and do things and I get a little depressed if I stay in too often. I am a homebody by nature, but I do crave interaction with others.
I just lent him a large sum of money and we made a payment plan, but now something else has come up and I'm not sure he'll be able to pay me back. I'm nervous I wont see that money again.
Should I just not care because I love him? We plan on moving in together when he finds a new job. We talk marriage, kids, having a life together.
What do I do? How can I stop resenting him for being broke? I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I want my money back eventually and I want him to pay for some things so I don't feel like I'm supporting him and he's just leeching off of me.
I'm not trying to sound like a jerk. I hope I didn't come across that way. | My loving boyfriend is extremely broke. I pay for most things and am starting to resent him. What do I do? |
t3_4xej5t | personalfinance | Playstation Vs Claire | A few months ago my partner's Sony Entertainment Network account was hacked & my Paypal account was used to pay for their purchase. I'd just like to clarify now that only I have used my PP account to pay for purchases on the Playsation store, my partner uses his debit card to pay for things. As soon as I noticed the payment had gone out, I went to the bank and got it refunded. However, because the bank blocked the transaction, Paypal took the payment from my balance, meaning my PP balance is now -£79.99. I've spoken to both Paypal & Playstation about this, and reported the fraud, I've also sent proof of Paypal that it wasn't me that made the transaction. Paypal have said that it's Playstation that need to press the (metaphorical) "refund" button, in order for my account to be rectified. However, the most recent email I've had from Playstation says basically it's my fault. | My Paypal account has been used fraudulently but I have to pay for it?! |
t3_2nv5i3 | relationships | My [19F] girlfriend was drunk and told me her guy friend fills an emotional void when I'm [22M] not there | So my girlfriend, Ally, and I have been dating for about a month and a half now. She has a friend named Dan, who, up until last night, I thought was just her friend, but that changed. Ally and I were drinking last night (probably the 5th time she's drank in her life) and she got really wasted and told me that last week when Dan and some other friends visited her (I knew about this), her and Dan were in a study room and he kept telling her that she's beautiful and wants to be with her.
He also said, according to Ally, "Your boyfriend doesn't have to know" and tried to kiss her and she didn't let him and he kept on saying that she should be with him, not me. She told him to stop and he kept insisting so she just left the room and went back to the group. He also told her not to tell anyone in the group or me on what just happened.
Now he also plans on visiting her this week, alone, and wants to stay and before I found out what he did, I had no problem with it because I thought they were just friends. And I trust Ally completely because (she tends to be extremely honest when drunk) that she really cares about me and only wants to be with me. But now, I honestly don't want him to visit because what he did is just fucked and I don't want someone like that around my girlfriend.
But the part that hurt me the most was, again last night when we were drunk, I asked why she wants Dan to visit, and she said that while I'm not there (because I'm working during the week and studying as well, I visit on the weekends), she needs someone to "be there for her". I told her that I'm doing the best I can by visiting whenever I have free time, but she says that he's always there for her as well. It kinda just broke me inside.
How do I deal with this? I'm getting to the point where breaking up with her is the only option because I'm not going to compete with some other guy for my relationship. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | Girlfriend has guy friend that fills emotional void and is visiting her this week, she told me when drunk that he makes her feel good emotionally. What do I do? |
t3_2ahqd0 | relationships | My [24M] SO [26F] of two years suggesting an open relationship. Does anyone have any advice, experience, thoughts? Looking for some guidance. | Short backstory: This is my second relationship. In our first couple months when we were getting to know each other, I expressed that I regretted not letting myself enjoy being single (we're really honest with each other and have open communication). She brought this up recently (two years later), and suggested we try having an open relationship. I'm potentially interested, but I'm worried about how it might pan out.
Does anyone have any experience or thoughts? She's honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I don't ever want to lose her. She seems OK with the idea, and said she doesn't have any interest in getting with other guys. She wants to do it for my benefit.
I feel selfish for doing this just for me, and feel guilty for wanting it deep down inside. Does anyone have any thoughts? | SO suggested an open relationship, not sure what to think |
t3_24kng5 | relationships | Me [32 M] and wife [34 F], 12 years of marriage, feel like I've been faking it last 5-6. | I've been married for almost 12 years, known each other for 16, and recently I feel as if I've been phoning it in. I've been talking with a coworker [20 F] and from my description of my life she believes I'm miserable. I have feelings for this younger woman, mostly because we have similar personalities and can talk about nothing for hours.
This is not the first female friend I've developed feelings for. I've had crushes or infatuations on several different girls over the past 8 or so years. For whatever reason I tend to reveal my feelings to them, they don't feel the same, we grow apart and never talk, I find a new girl.
There's no physical infidelity, just emotional. I feel like I love these girls, but I know in my head that I'm wrong, and just end up very conflicted. I'm afraid to divorce or try separation from my wife because of the shame I would feel and I worry that her mental health problems would cause her to do self-harm or just become horribly depressed.
She is mostly unaware of these things and I do my best to play supportive husband, but part of me wants to leave, start over, and try to live a life that is happier for me. My only family is hers, I'm friends with them, and I feel like I'd really have to start life over again.
I know the what my pride wants me to do, but I can't help but think I'd be happier with someone else, or no one else. | Emotionally but not physically unfaithful to my wife, want to give up and start over. |
t3_3othfd | relationships | My (m 22) girlfriend (f 20) of 7 months confessed that she has feelings for another guy, but has never acted on them or told the man in question. | I should preface this with the fact that my girlfriend and I have a healthy, honest relationship and it has all really been a blast. I love the girl. I walked into her room after taking a shower this afternoon and noticed her sitting on the bed, blank stare. I ask what's going on and if she wants to talk about anything and she starts to tear up.
She works up the courage to say that she feels so unworthy and she doesn't deserve a guy that bends over backwards for her and puts her before himself and that she feels selfish. I sat down next to her and try cheering her up, asking why she thinks that. At this point she is crying softly as she speaks. She tells me that she wants to be completely honest and that she has feelings for a guy she knows, though she has never brought it up to the guy or done anything. She told me that she loved me and couldn't hold in the guilt of being attracted to another. We have been very honest with each other and I trust her word that she did not cheat.
Basically what I told her was that you can't help having feelings, only not to act on them and try to make the friendship platonic if it is one worth keeping. We talked it over for a while and decided everything is alright, I'm glad that she's honest with me, etc.
What I'm asking, reddit, is where do I go from here? I trust her and don't want to be this restricting partner that tells her who she can and can't be friends with, but I'm worried about being too much of a pushover by doing nothing at all. I would love some outside opinions. Thank you! | Girlfriend tells me she has feelings for another guy, but wouldn't ever pursue them. I think it's mostly alright and we both still want this to keep working out. |
t3_14p522 | running | Tips for a big guy? | I recently just started running with the intention of a half marathon in March. I'm pretty happy with myself at 5 miles right now but I'm worried as I go farther my body won't be able to handle it.
I'm 23 years old, 6'5" and 260lbs. I feel like most people I've seen at the races I've watched (support for my girlfriend and her friends) were much smaller than me and definitely lighter. I know I'll lose some weight in the process of training but I doubt it'll be some kind of incredible body transformation.
I'm just wondering if anyone had tips for a big dude who just started running seriously. It isn't a matter of not giving up, it is a matter of if my body can handle it. | I'm a grande dude and worried about training for distance, any tips would be nice. |
t3_3f8jsg | relationships | Stuck on a trip with friends who doesnt seem to want me there | So I agreed to travelling numerous countries by train with a friend and his two pals for 30 days. Of course I knew his friends before somewhat but it turns out we're not really compatible in the way thay we should be travelling 30 days together all over Europe. We're all 22 years old.
I can't reallt dip out now, been planning this for so long and put down effort and lots of money and have no desire of going alone.
They're not really mean to me, but I can definitely feel I'm not wanted. Whenever we're walking somewhere they're doing minor stuff like walking 3 in a row and blocking me out making me walk behind. And they take those small chances of walking faster than me to avoid having me too close, altho they would never walk off without me entirely.
The one friend I initially agreed to travel with seems rather careless about it and barely speaks to me at all unless necessary and in which cases its like nothing happened. If it's me talking I am very easily ignored by all 3 unless I raise my voice rather much. And I am almost always spoken over, giving me no room to say anything without re-saying it like three times. | travelling european countries for 30 days with people who shows little interest in having me around, cant just ditch them and needs some help on how to handle the situation |
t3_4s2yf0 | relationships | Relationship with boyfriend (22M) has been pretty rocky. Should I stay?(20M) | So I've been seeing my boyfriend for the past 5 months, mostly things are great but recently, he's been spending less time with me than usual ( it's usually once a week since we're both busy but now it's only once every two/three weeks). Hes the one who says he'll come over but just fails to turn up or makes up an excuse last minute.
But looking back, there has been red flags for a while. On the first date, he mentioned his ex's alot! They were apparently"crazy" which is never true 99% of the time but I just ignored it. He fails to support me in anything. And to top it off, I gave him money to borrow and he gets annoyed when I ask for it back.
Like looking at it, I shouldnt put up with it but I don't know why I do! If my friend was having this done to them I would tell them to go before there trapped in an unhappy relationship. It sounds stupid but when he's nice to me or makes time for me, I forget all the bad stuff. What should I do? Can I save the relationship? | Boyfriend has been pretty shitty to me but I don't know why I can't leave him |
t3_1ivma9 | offmychest | I loved you, it was good for a while. Now you're with someone else | Really need to get this off my chest.
I met you and we clicked immediatelly. After some flirting and a night out, we kissed. We slept together for a week and even though we didn't have sex, it was amazing. After this we drifted apart, mostly due to my work and your studies.
You told me you needed to be alone for a while and 1 week after you said this, I find out you're with someone else. Now you keep inviting me to see movies, hang out and that you're sad we won't see each other for a long time (she's from another country and will be leaving next month).
Tomorrow will probably be our last day together since I'm moving out of the apartment (we're flatmates, I know it was something I shouldn't have pursued because of this).
I still have feelings for you and don't know what to do. I would move on but the feelings I have for you are strong. I don't know if I should tell you how I feel about you because it will ruin our friendship and we won't talk anymore after this. I'm lost but I don't regret meeting you.
I really do love you with all my heart. | we "dated" for a few weeks and it was amazing. she left me for another guy and now I have to deal with the fact that she's leaving the country in one month. don't know what to do, tell her about my feelings or just move on and cut contact. |
t3_kz67t | AskReddit | Reddit, I've had bad sex for 3 years please help. | This is a throw away account.
This is embarrassing to admit, but I have ED. I'm 27 years old and ever since I broke up with my long-term girlfriend about 3 years ago I've been having issues.
Since the break up I've been with a few girls and even had a relationship that last about a year.
The problem comes and goes but the thought of it is always there in the back of my mind. It affects me both when I have sex and when I masturbate.
I'm tired and frustrated with having relationships start but then flounder as the person I'm with realizes my hang-ups aren't going away.
I know the problem is just in my head and that all I need to do is relax, but I just can't seem to do that.
Any advice, links, personal stories would be much appreciated. | I have ED on and off and this is causing problems starting a relationship with someone new |
t3_14yd07 | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the dumbest/most dangerous thing a friend has done involving animal ownership? | I have a friend that owned a Chow, (don't start about me not liking aggressive breeds and about how it's all how they're raised etc, this isn't about that). He was raised with her daughter, she would run and pile drive this dog into the floor and he'd just take it. He was a nice dog, but still a chow and they can be very territorial and unpredictable. One day her 10 y/o son had a friend over, nothing unusual he'd been over several times before. Long story short the dog ended up almost ripping the kids face off (required something like 40 stitches) b/c the boy reached down to pet him. The parents of said boy didn't sue, my friend paid their medical expenses out of pocket so as not to get their insurance cancelled or raised. She and I talked about this and I told her they need to put the dog down, as it will most likely happen again. (source, I fostered large breed dogs for a no kill shelter for many many years and have experience dealing with aggressive dogs). She refused calling him her baby and saying she couldn't kill her baby, (not even a second thought about HER real children in the home who were now in danger of being bitten or worse). Not a month later, same thing happens again, to a 13 y/o girl (friend of her daughter who had also been over numerous times and knew the dog) also just reaching to pet the dog. At this point the police get involved and they're court ordered to put the dog down etc. It took everything I had NOT to tell her, I told you so, when she called crying about losing her "baby".
What idiotic/dangerous things have you seen done regarding animal ownership?
excuse any typos, half asleep sucking down coffee. | Friend has chow attack one kid, refuses to put dog down, dog attacks another kid, has to be put down, friend cries about losing her baby, doesn't care that it attacked 2 kids and she has kids of her own that could have been next. |
t3_ygtk3 | AskReddit | What decision would you think other people will say that it's stupid if they are not in your place? I'll start. | A friend of mine is a really good programmer since he's still in school, after graduating, he applied to a software company and in the interview he states about his programming skills, and expecting to do developing if his application is considered (this company has a bond varying in duration for all employees). He got accepted to the company as an entry level software engineer with a fairly high salary for such level. When he started, he learned that he was assigned to software quality assurance, basically, no coding, all testing and logging every bugs, etc. This really pissed him off, he purposely failed the training to search for a job that will suit him, he's now working for the competitor of his previous company. | Programmer friend learned he was assigned as a tester on his starting day, fails his training to GTFO as early as possible from the company. |
t3_sncau | dating_advice | 19[m] Potential first relationship. How do I proceed? | Have a class with this girl [19], we have some things in common and we've been friendly in class for the large part of the semester.
Recently during a study session I felt like I had signs that she could like me more, and I always felt positively about here.
I've chatted with her for the past couple days/ fairly short conversations but she seems to laugh at most things I say in a playful way. Just got her phone number 2 days or so ago and I've been cautiously playful (imo) with my texting. | How do I get a relationship started quickly and successfully with only 2 weeks left until summer then we will be living 30 minute drive away until the fall. |
t3_3u3w2x | tifu | TIFU by Cleaning My Room | This fuck up, like many, happened a few years ago.
I tend to procrastinate and when it comes to cleaning it's no exception. I goof off and the most mundane things I find suddenly require my full attention. Anyway, while cleaning my room one day I find what I believe to be a training epipen (I have a mild food allergy). I took it out of its small container (first warning sign) and for whatever reason, decided to heartily stab myself in the leg like I would a real one. Second warning sign, a small, sharp pain located right where I'd just pretended to stab myself. Instantly, I tossed it across the room out of surprise. For the next hour or so it felt like I'd chugged ten cups of coffee. Finally found the fake one months later and realized just how stupid that was. It was like comparing a nerf gun to the real thing... | stabbed myself with an epipen by accident/on purpose. jittered around my house for an hour. |
t3_uqfhp | jobs | Recent college graduate with decent work history can't even get an interview at fast food. Is it really this bad? Or can someone shed some light on this? | Like I said I graduated in early May with a B.S in mathematics and a minor in Computer Science (I have much more than a minor but that's not important).
Ok so heres my situation I recently graduated and moved into the house my grandparents who passed away a few years ago in upstate NY because its not my parents house and they need someone to pay the bills on it because they cant afford it and don't want to sell it. So sounded good to me no rent and my own house. Its in a pretty developed area so I thought I could at least find some type of job in no time.
Its been over a month now and while I realize thats not to long I am starting to get very discouraged. I have applied for every type of menial job I can think of in the area to get some income McDonalds, burger king, kholes, best buy, waiter jobs, Drunken Donuts, Pizza Hut and every other place I can think of probably over 30 and I cant even get an interview and I cant figure out why.
I worked at my University's Help desk for 4 years. Worked at an auto parts store over a summer and worked at the shoprite bakery for two years in high school. I really dont know what the problem is, I had better luck looking for work in high school, at least I got calls back from place I applied. | I have a degree and work history and my job search is fucked, can someone shed some light on this. |
t3_3msylc | legaladvice | [IN] Can I be held liable for leaving my coworker alone while he's in the midst of an asthma attack? | I'm in Indiana. I work a 12 hour night shift. This particular situation has happened many times, to both myself and the other night shift tech.
So this particular coworker will occasionally be in the middle of a severe asthma attack when he arrives at work. There's only one tech on duty at a time, so usually he comes in and I leave. In the past when this has happened, I've stayed with him until he could breath, then I'd call someone to get him and call someone else to come in and cover his shift. I leave work about 4 hours late on this nights. That means I'll only have 8 hours off between shifts instead of 12. I can't operate on that little sleep(5 hours after factoring in driving time and making dinner and increased traffic), so what he's doing is directly negatively affecting me.
He's an adult and he should be able to take care of himself, so I should be able to leave him alone. Would I be liable if I did? | I'm an asshole and I want to leave my coworker alone to die |
t3_23nlyq | relationship_advice | [21/M] in love with my best friend [21/f]. I will be an usher in her wedding. | I have been struggling with this problems for months.
She is always there for me. Ever since we first met our freshman year we have been best friends. We have spent countless nights staying up late, discussing life, venting our problems, and supporting each other. When I first met her, she was dating this guy for a couple years and even though I was interested in her, I let it go and pursued other women. Months later she left him and she hinted at starting a relationship with me. During this time, I was with another girl and so I ignored her advances. After a couple weeks, she started dating a guy she knew from high school. Flash forward two years and now she is getting married to him. During the past two years, I cannot help but to be in love with her. Our friendship is solid and there is no one else like her. We sometimes have those random "romantic" moments but we both shy away before anything happens. I want to tell her the truth about how I feel but if I do, our relationship will never be the same. | I am in love with my best friend who is getting married in a few months. |
t3_gasyk | AskReddit | Social Security is stopping my 74 y/o mother's benefits until she pays $20,000... | This is a complicated months-long story. I tried to make it as brief as possible, but... thanks for taking the time to read it.
My mother is 74 years old. Both she and my younger brother are on survivor's disability through my deceased father. My brother found a job and makes decent money -- not great. 18k a year takehome. He was confused by the 9-months-and-off plan.
He offered to make restitution payments to Social Security, and they went so far as to request his information, etc.
We were going to make sure the full debt was paid off in the 3 year period.
He did not receive anything after submitting his information, and we assumed that they were still deciding on amounts and going through his assets, etc.
Cut to today: My mother received a letter stating that her benefits are suspended (my brother's already are, which is fine and expected) until the overpayment is paid in full.
She is 74 and cannot work. He is working. I am working as well, and was willing to pay what they could not, but even I don't have 20k at my disposal in a lump sum.
None of us own houses or have other collateral.
It's important to stress that we are not trying to job the system. My brother was confused (and frankly so was I), and when made aware of it he did everything they asked to set up a repayment plan.
They told him that it should not be an issue if he makes his payments monthly and the balance is paid in full in 36 months or less.
Thoughts? | Social Security is taking away my 74 year old benefits because of an overpayment to my brother that both of them were willing to re-pay from the beginning. |
t3_dhg4y | AskReddit | What is a good gift for a cop/sheriff who really helped someone out? | My SO has been the victim of identity theft for almost 2 years. We have struggled together with it and it seemed like we could never escape it. No one wanted to help and resources are limited. It destroyed my SO's credit, we had trouble getting places to live (even though I have great credit and he has a high income job), he constantly had to take off from work to make phone calls and go into courts and police stations, and I spent my time off investigating what we could do and kept all our files updated. Every month something else would pop up. It escalated to being a criminal identity theft early this year when we found out there was a warrant out for my SO's arrest because of two DUIs and failure to appear in court in 2 different states. It wasn't him - we even had pictures to prove it was another guy! Still, no help or assistance came. Just a lot of phone messages that were never returned. He could not get a new drivers license and has been without one for over 6 months. About a month ago we finally got in touch with a sheriff in Iowa who was willing to help. He not only did what was necessary, but spend time investigating and actually found the guy! The criminal is now in jail (for various counts, not just because of us) and we received a letter in the mail today that the courts determined my SO was innocent and they are clearing all charges.
We are so thankful for one person to help us after talking to hundreds who turned us away and treated my SO like a criminal/bum in debt. We want to give the sheriff a great gift to express our gratitude but I'm not sure what would be best. Any ideas?
By the way, we will be working on putting up a large blog post of our journey to say the things that worked and didn't work.. tips we wish we could have known. | A sheriff really helped us out in an identity theft case. We want to give something to say thank you. |
t3_mupex | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, what was your worse (best) "I'm an idiot" moment? | I'll start it off: I was in the my Business College building waiting for a meeting that I'm required to attend for me to receive my final grade. The building is pretty large in stature and the elevator was out. I knew the meeting was on the 5th floor, so I began my hike up the steps. I search for the room up and down the hallways, no dice. Where hell is this place? Then it hit me, 7th floor. Of course, how could I have been so stupid? I head on up and begin my search anew. Nothing. Being the awkward penguin that I am, I don't ask anyone where this room is. I check the clock, shit, I'm late. I sprint down the steps figuring I'll just start on the first floor and work my way up. I reach the first floor and stop dead in my tracks. There it was..........exactly where I'd been waiting. | I was almost missed my required meeting because I couldn't find the room, only to realize that I had been waiting outside of it before I started. |
t3_25u2q8 | relationships | My girlfriend of 10 months (19F) and I (19M) may lose our great relationship to religious differences. | We have a very healthy, caring, supportive relationship, enjoy each other's company, and laugh together often. We love each other. However, we are different in that she is firm in her Catholic beliefs and I do not associate myself with any religion.
While we accept our differences for what they are, she intends on raising her children Catholic, and I would want my children to be not necessarily atheist, but educated about all beliefs and encouraged to make their own decisions.
She says that she can't be with someone who doesn't support her religion. From my perspective, it upsets me that she looks down on my non-beliefs. To her, I am "cold-hearted" for thinking the way I do.
It seems as though neither of us are going to change our ways any time soon. It may be true that we are too young to be thinking about a hypothetical marriage, but it would make me very upset to stay in a relationship if I knew for sure it was a dead end.
It would make both of us feel better if we could find common ground. To be honest, I am having trouble accepting the answer that we are young and not to worry. Maybe I lack perspective, but we do not have the typical, casual young relationship. I take it seriously and leaving this unresolved would only delay the issue IMO. | Catholic girl and atheist boy are in loving relationship but are concerned about the distant future |
t3_1tqtqh | relationships | My girlfriend (22 F) is having a lot of problems with my (21 M) living situation, I think she's being irrational, but maybe I'm wrong... | I'm about to start my final semester in college and she's already graduated. In the spring I'll be living with my best friend (male) and his three roommates (females) who I'm also good friends with. I've known them all since I was a sophomore and have never been anything other than platonic friends with any of them, and have never had any interest in any of them. I should add that I've also lived with girls as roommates in the past and never had any issues- it's completely normal to me.
Anyways, my girlfriend, who I have been dating for eight months, is not happy at all with this situation. She has told me that she is very uncomfortable with me living with girls. She lives about an hour away from my campus so we can typically see each other once or twice a week and on weekends. She has told me that she doesn't like that other girls will get to be with me every day when she can only see me a few times a week.
It comes across as jealousy even though I've told her many times that these girls and I are strictly friends and I have zero interest in any of them. She's very dismissive when we try to talk about it and says things like "I don't want to hear your explanations" and that I'm a "dick" for not sympathizing with her. Our last few conversations about it have lead to her hanging up on me
So what I'm wondering is, what can I do to improve this situation? Is she justified in being as upset as she is about this? It seems like it shouldn't be such a big deal to me, but maybe I'm wrong?
Thanks for the help guys, let me know if there's anything I left out! Sorry if there are any weird mistakes I'm typing on my phone... | my girlfriend is very upset that I'm going to have girls as roommates even though they're only friends. |
t3_3c8iyb | relationships | Me [22 M] with my SO [23 M] of 18 months, found out he's cheating. Want to break up today. Please, how do I handle this? | I just found evidence my SO is cheating on me. I'm the only one awake at this moment but his mom is the first one to get up and get to work. I see her as my own mother. Do I tell her her son has been cheating on me and say goodbye? Do I just thank her for everything? Do I act as if nothing happened, talk to her son when he's up and just dissapear out of her life before she's back from work?
I don't know if I should have a conversation with him about the cheating and ask about his feelings or details and go through the tears and apologies or just simply say I know and leave his life like that just after he wakes up. I'm so worried he'll do something stupid after the breakup, he's all alone at home when I leave during the day. I'm so devastated. | SO is cheating, want to break up the moment he wakes up. Conversation or just coldly leave, say bye to his mom or just dissappear out of her life? |
t3_2l3dvv | relationship_advice | Advice on what I [28/m] should do with coworker [18/f] if long term relationship is not possible | Alright so here is the situation. I am 28 years old and I work with a cute girl that seems to like me, but she is only BARELY turning 18 (she is still 17, but will turn 18 in a week). I have literally zero relationship experience so I don't know what I should do. The problems that I see with the relationship:
1) Age difference
2) I am planning on moving to another city next year.
3) We are coworkers
4) She has family that also works there
I know that she knows about the age difference, but she doesn't seem to care. Her Aunt at least also doesn't seem to care, and one other coworker is actually encouraging it (she knows I haven't had a girlfriend). The only thing that I think she might not know is that I am planning on being in another city next fall.
Should I tell her up front that I would be fine pursuing a relationship as long as she knows that it may not be very long? She is really nice and sweet and I absolutely don't want to break her heart. Also, how big of an issue is the fact that she is a coworker? I always hear people say you shouldn't date coworkers, but then other people say that is how they met their husband/wife. | young coworker wants to date me, but it won't be a long term relationship due to me moving |
t3_zsxi5 | relationships | I, [19M] am interested in getting back together with an ex [20F], but unsure how to approach the situation. | Hey reddit. So, once upon a time in high school, I dated a girl for about half a year. It wasn't the greatest relationship - we were both rather private people, and found it hard to be emotionally open with one another. Ultimately it ended after she "cheated" on me at a party.
I don't know all the details, but what I gather from the situation is the guy she cheated with basically spent the whole night trying to get her as drunk/high as possible. I didn't get those details until after I spoke with her about it, unfortunately. Anyways, I found out from her and she said she was really embarrassed and that she regretted it. I believed and believe her to this day, but it wasn't really a great situation since we'd already been having communication issues, so we decided to call it quits.
Fast forward to now, and we're great friends. Which is where my problems arise from, now that I've decided I want to try and give it another shot. We're both three years older, and I'd hope we could work through the issues we had last time we were "together". I just don't know how to approach the subject. I'm normally not the type to be verbally direct about my feelings - if I like a girl, I ask her to spend time with me and based on how things go we get physical or we don't. I guess I'm communicating interest in a non-verbal way. Most of the time, if you ask a girl to spend an afternoon or an evening with you, they get the interest message pretty clearly. The problem is I doubt she would, considering we've been spending time together as friends for a couple years now. I don't really think it would be appropriate to try to judge her interest based on her behaviour either - I know she's very comfortable around me, and that's going to make her act in a way that could easily be interpreted as interest.
So I guess my best bet is to try a more blunted approach and talk about it, but that seems like it has the potential to be excruciating. | trying to get back with an ex, don't know what approach to take to get my interest across. |
t3_2qavt7 | tifu | Tifu by destroying christmas | So when I was around age 9 christmas was the best thing of all time. So that one year I decided that it would be a great year for me to go down at 3 in the morning and unwrap and play with my new gifts. I played with them for about 4 hours and then went up to say thank you to my parents and relatives. My mom thought I was joking and went downstairs. Now my mom is a very short and she freaked out and turned into 4 foot 10 of fury. This resulted in her crying and screaming and saying that I ruined everything. I then was grounded without toys the rest of the day. | mom turned into a gremlin after I unwrapowd presents at 3 am |
t3_2u9lvs | relationships | I can't get over the fact that my (18) gf(18) of 2 years has had other boyfriend's | It all started a few days ago, I saw one of her ex's in my class. It made me sad because I remember when me and her were friends she didn't even consider dating me at all. Like she chose them over me. When me and her 1st met she had a bf and that doesn't bother me because she didn't know me when she got with him, well me and her became very close a
Then she broke up with her bf, but not even a day later she hooked up with another guy (the guy I saw in my class) and it hurt a lot. Like she didn't even consider dating me, it hurt even more because i was like her best friend and she'd tell me all the stuff she did with the guy and she'd always talk about him. She went out with a few more guys and the same thing happened, she'd always talk about them with me. Well eventually me and her got together, but seeing her ex the other day just brought back all those bad memories and made me question, "why wasn't I good enough then?" "Why did she take so long to date me ?" I feel like I wasn't good enough and I feel like I was like her 5th choice after she dated those guys. I guess I never really got over it, I just suppressed it and it all got let loose in my head when I saw her ex the other day
My question is how do I get over this ? Can I get over this? Am I being dumb for being sad about this? I feel like talking to her will just make her feel like shit | I can't get over the fact that my gf had bfs while we were friends |
t3_fiins | AskReddit | Neighbor problems | Just now, some woman from 3 floors down came up to my apartment. She asked if there were problems going on here in the mornings. Naturally, I was ridiculously confused. She said there is some kind of banging sound, as if someone is dropping dumbells, or a safe(o_o), at around 7:00AM every morning, which lasts for an hour or more. All of the apartments along the same line, up to hers, can hear it, and complain, according to her. I assured her that everyone either left for work or school, and that I would know if there was this intense noise going on that she, being 3 floors down, could hear.
She had an extreme attitude, and I could tell by her tone and the way she was looking at me that she thought I was lying to her. She said that whatever it was needed to stop, or the police would get involved. Again, it was like talking to a wall. I told her it was impossible, even IF someone were dropping a dumbbell on the floor, that she, 3 huge floors down, could hear it. I told her to take it up with the super, because it could be the pipes or something. At this point, she said that she had studied sound waves in college and that she was certain it wasn't pipes, but the vibrations in the building from someone in our apartment dropping something. I know nothing will happen with the police, but I am very curious as to what the sound is, because it is 100% not from my apartment. I really want her to feel like a moron for so adamantly accusing me for the noise.
So, what could it be? | Neighbor from **3 floors down** can hear some banging, thinks I'm throwing a safe/weights at the floor every morning at 7. |
t3_4g7f39 | relationships | 23 M falling for 47 F. Need some advice. | Hello there,
As the title suggests I am 23 M and looking for possible advice about my current relationship.
I have been with a 47 F for the past 6-7 months and things are getting serious but there is an issue. We want to move into a place together and progress in out relationship. We found a place locally and are putting in an offfer for rent. However, as much as I am feeling for thus woman there are a few hold ups in this relationship.
She is currently still married and going through a divorce. They are finalizing everything now but what are some ramifications from that that I could face?
Also, this relationship is tearing my family apart. I'm not receiving acceptance from my siblings or my mother. Why is this? Am I in the wrong? What would a psychologist suggest while going through this situation? Also, is this normal? If not, what should I do? I am highly invested in this woman. She is currently in very bad health with multiple back and other ailments. I am working while right now she isn't working much. What would you suggest? Also, is she using me? As much as she tells me she loves me and all, is this just a facade and am I getting used? What I'd the psyche behind a woman getting into a relationship like this.
So help me! I'm sure there are people out there that are going through this situation and professionals that can't necessarily be reached so that is why I'm posting here.
Thank you in advance! | In a seemily taboo relationship and looking for advice. |
t3_1n1eci | relationships | My [18 M] gf [18F] Think it is okay that her 'close' male friends touch her breasts. Am i being stupid for thinking this is wrong? | We have been together for a year in 1 week.
Recently my gf told me about her school day.
What happened that school day was that she had nipple-twisted one of her close male friends. Then he twisted her back.
I don't know why, but this bothers me. I don't like the thought of him twisting her breasts, I guess. I know they don't got anything going, since he is a nice guy and she wouldn't cheat on me, but this still bothers me a whole lot. Am I the only one who thinks this is not-okay? The way she responded to me addressing my disapproval of this, made me feel like I am an oversensitive, and controlling bf.
After she told me, the conversation went something like this
Me:"Ehm, I don't think that is okay"
Her:" Johan366.. He is one of my closest friends? It's not like we got anything going on".
Me:" I just don't think that is cool, but whatever."
Her:"lol. it was just nipple-twists, chill out?". | Am I being controlling, or oversensitive when it comes to other guys nipple-twisting my gf? And is it normal? I've personally never nipple-twisted a girl, so I can't tell if it just me who never has done it, or if everyone is doing it. (At least after 16 years of age, I have never seen any guy twist a girl's nipples.) |
t3_2hci4y | tifu | TIFU by waking up too late. | Short one that is kinda silly. This just happened.
Got a notice the other day that we will be having a pre winter filter change and smoke alarm test at our apartments.
I did a quick tidying last night just to make sure cat toys were put away, nothing in the maintenance closet, sinks were wiped down, etc. I probably should have vacuumed but it wasn't too bad. I had a lot of work to do so tried not to be an overachiever like I usually am for them.
This morning I slept in after a long night of working, and they knocked about 5 mins after I woke up. I would normally do 1 more pass before they got here.
2 men came in. I know them. I see them all the time and have lived here a long time. After about 5 mins of them walking around and asking me questions, I realized I left my giant pink vibrator hanging from a towel rack, that they both walked by at least a half dozen times. It was one of [these] so right at head height for them. I hang it there to dry until I put it away so it doesn't get fuzz on it.
As soon as I saw it I rushed over and grabbed it, right infront of one of them, while making eye contact. They kinda looked at me funny and then said, "Ok we're done here" and left quickly. They saw it, and I guess now the knew I know they saw it. I probably should have left it hanging until they left.
Not a terrible FU, but my face is still red. | Maintenance man saw my vibrator. |
t3_3ilrj8 | relationships | Me [31F] with my relative [36F], I am likely calling CPS next week. Trying to navigate through this mess and do what's best for child [5F]. Any advice is appreciated. UPDATE | I hope I am updating in the correct format...
Hi All! Original OP is here...
So, I did make the phone call to Child Protective Services on my cousin. Really the only thing to report is that she did get her registered for school after CPS paid her a visit. CPS did not remove her from the home, but is supposed to make weekly visits to check on the child and to see if my cousin makes any improvements to their lives. My mother spoke with my cousin's father and said that it was a "wake-up call for everyone"....whatever that means. I mean, who doesn't do the bare fucking minimum for a child??? CPS also said that they would follow up with me and they never did.
So, I've spoken with several members of my extended family and they are in support of my decision to make the call. My cousin believes that my mother called. So far there hasn't been any trouble with my cousin, however, I told my mom that if there is she can feel free to tell her it was me. I'm too far out of patience with her and really could care less if she gets her butt hurt over it.
So, I really just wanted to thank everyone for all of the encouragement, kind words and empathy that you've shown. No matter what the circumstances are, it really is a very hard thing to do. I am really proud of myself for taking that step and I hope that I never have to do that again...but I will if necessary. | I called CPS on my cousin. She finally registered her child for school and will have weekly visits from CPS for the time being. Thank you all for the support! |
t3_3knved | relationships | I [26F] think my boyfriend [26M] of 1 year might be doing something shady/ lying about his phone | Bf and I have been doing long distance for 3 months now and we always call each other before we go to sleep, even if we've talked to each other earlier in the day. For the first time, we did not talk before going to sleep. I was worried about his safety as he was doing a road trip alone, and wasn't sure if he made it back to his hotel safely. I tried calling a couple times over an hour and a half. Each time, his phone rang and went to voicemail. I did not hear from him all night.
He called me this morning to say that he was sorry that he missed my calls, but his phone was dead and he didn't charge it until this morning. This is weird because in my experience, if a cell phone is dead the call will go straight to voicemail. It will not ring and then go to voicemail.
I wonder if he might be lying about the phone being dead because it rang and went to vm. This was an iPhone 5. Could someone more tech savvy point me in the right direction? Is this possible with an iPhone? I have already made a brief post on r/ | wondering if bf lied about phone being dead. Can iPhone calls ring and go to voicemail when dead? Or do they go straight to voicemail? |
t3_1o2rm2 | AskReddit | How do I become a sociable person? | I'm not a very open or social person (even though I really want to be) but the problem is that I spent most of life in my room by myself. One reason is because my parents never let me hang out with my friends or because I didn't have anyone to hang out with. I never had any family to be with because half of them are in South America and the other half my dad makes me stay away from. Hell, even my dad wasn't around because of his job, he would be gone from weeks to months. My mom was always focused on her own things and she never pay much mind to me (atleast it didn't feel like she did...). So because of this I would spend most of the time by myself and alone.
Fast forward to now, it's my junior year in high-school and as much as I tell myself things are gonna better, it doesn't feel like it is. Most people I know seem to all know each other and yet I don't think most people know my name. I can't even tell my parents anything because I don't feel like they care at all about what's going on with me. Even today, I couldn't open up to my best friend about why I was feeling depressed today. (Which I'm really grateful that I even have a best friend..)
I know I'm not the only person in the world who has these kinda of problems, but I can't live like this anymore. I wanna become more social and open. I wanna be able to talk to strangers and make friends. I wanna be able to tell the pretty girl at school that she looks good today. I guess I'm just afraid of going through my whole life without being able to talk to people. | I'm not a sociable person, but i want to be, how can I do that? |
t3_vx2fz | relationships | Is he interested in me, and if so is this a good idea? | Me (30f) and him (30m). Met online, great friends for about 6-7 years, met in person a few times started dating, was great but long distance, just over one year after dating, I moved to live near him (lost my job so needed to move anyway), things were ok but strained due to my just moving and job hunting and having no friends and his shitty job, depression, and living with his extremely religious parents. Told him many times that he wasn't being attentive and brought up my concerns about our relationship. Dumped him after several chances (my concerns were primarily his lack of interest in being in a relationship).
Fast forward 2 years, he's no longer living at home and has apparently gotten his shit together (ie treatment for depression and a great career path). We've kept in touch a bit but recently have gone to movies/dinner etc about once every week or two for the last few months. He usually insists on paying and opening doors and such which he NEVER did when we were dating, also when we've gone to nicer places for dinner he's brought flowers for me.
Facts:
-he's really appeared to get his act together and has always been a genuinely great guy.
-he has not made one single move sexually, there is usually a hug at the end of the night when we go out.
-when I dumped him it really destroyed him and I still feel awful about it
-I'm having a mid life crisis in which I don't know if I want to focus on marriage/family or career/enjoying life.
-I do have feelings for him, but I'm afraid If I date him again I'd a) always be stuck in this geographic location I hate and b) what if he goes back to his old ways of ignoring me physically and acting like having a girlfriend is annoying.
Fears:
-what if his entire family (whom I adore) hates me for dumping him 2 years ago
-what if he's just trying to be friends and I'm misinterpreting (see above fact regarding not making any moves)
-what if I can't forgive myself for hurting him. | dated a guy for 2 years, he acted disinterested and I dumped him which emotionally destroyed him, 2 years later we reconnect and he's got his shit together but I'm not sure if he's interested or if it's a good idea to date him. |
t3_33foq4 | relationships | Me [19F] - clueless or normal when it comes to dating him [20M]/anyone? | hey guys, I figured I could use some outside perspective on dating/this particular situation. Currently, I have been hanging out with a guy who asked for my number 2 weeks ago. It was really sweet - we would just talk, cuddle, and hold hands and ended up being intimate after a week of consistently seeing eachother (about 8 dates in). He says he likes me and wants to continue seeing me, but doesn't want anything serious [what does this mean?? Does he just want sex?]. There is also only 3 weeks of school left, which doesn't lend itself to this situation. Is this how college dating works? I understand that it is too quick to make a commitment and I should let things progress as they may/I don't want to commit yet either, but is this how all dating works? I'm terribly confused. | I don't think I know what I'm doing/what to expect with regards to dating people in college. I'm actually completely clueless. |
t3_17gje4 | relationships | Suddenly distant BF [M31] has me [F28] worried. | My bf and I have been together for about a year. We hit it off right away and have been extremely close ever since. It is very unusual for us to go a day without contacting each other in some way, and we have (had?) sex quite often.
So suddenly a week ago it just sort of...stops. He doesn't want to do anything sexual. He hasn't initiated anything and just sort of brushes me off if I do. Ok, that's fine, I thought maybe he was sick or tired from work or something so I asked. His answer was "I'm not doing that."
It honestly wouldn't be so completely disconcerting if it A. wasn't so sudden, and B. wasn't accompanied by a rapidly decreasing interest in me in general. I went over there last night and he barely gave me the time of day. I went to bed without him, he didn't say a word, and didn't say anything when he came to bed (and rejected my advances again) He said goodbye to me when I left this morning and hasn't contacted me all day.
What is this nonsense? We were so open and now all the sudden it's this crap. One of the things I liked about his was that he was so adult when we had to talk about things and now I feel like I'm playing some game. We are also supposed to move in with each other in a few weeks, and I guess I could chalk it up to cold feet, but he was gung-ho about it until this episode. | Normally affectionate and open boyfriend suddenly distant, does not want me sexually or otherwise |
t3_uaboj | AskReddit | Girl flirts with BF in front of me, on more than one occasion. What should I do? PLEASE HELP! | So I have the most wonderful bf in the world, and I came to his house for the summer again this year. I can't stand this one girl he calls one of his best friends. She is very artsy and a bit of an extrovert, just like me, and she is always making me feel left out of the convo when she comes over. She likes to be very involved with activities we do, and she makes me do activities that i am not comfortable doing with the rest of the group because "she just loves doing them". She seems to up me on everything I say, and she invades people's space ( my bf's) when I am used to doing that. I stand back to be polite, when I would do those things normally, to be polite to the rest to the group, but she does it and leaves me out of the group. And everyone in our group seems to accept her and how she acts, but I can't be okay with the fact that she seems to intentionally start her own discussions with him, leaving me out of the loop.
Another thing is that my bf likes to have her over with just the three of us, and i cant stand it! She is "so interesting", and I just can't compete. Every time I try to tell my bf, he gets frustrated and angry; I sometimes wonder why he is even dating me in the first place.
but this has happened so many times, I just want to hand him over to her and call it a day. It leaves me feeling self-conscious, angry, and very dumb.
Sorry if their are spelling errors and missed info. I can elaborate on some issues if this is confusing, because I typed this on my iPhone.
Please help me! I do not know what to do. | on many occasions, my bf's artsy, unique girl friend seems to flirt with him and leave me out of everything when she hangs with us. It's weird and it appears she does it passive aggressively, and I can't compete with it anymore. I also cant tell my bf this because he just gets mad and doesn't understand. HELP ME! |
t3_269igz | dating_advice | [16M] She said maybe she was interested, unsure how to proceed with my pursuit of happiness. | There is a girl of the same age (16) in my history class (I'll call her Jenny) that I have feelings for. She is quite beautiful, smart etc. (all the corny) stuff but she is also somewhat distant and I find it hard to communicate with her. I've noticed that whenever I'm around she acts a little odd and if I walk by she seems to "half-look" for a moment before I catch her eye. I haven't really talked to her (on occasion about trivial things just to spark conversation) but this sort of thing has been going on for a while. The other day I asked Jenny a hypothetical question (probably a bad move but I'm not all too experienced with such things) about whether or not she would be interested, and she said maybe. We both then smiled and went our separate ways. I also gave her my number but didn't receive any texts from her during the past weekend, which put me off somewhat. However, when I returned to school she continued what I had mentioned before, so once again I was left confused. Finally today I played it casually and asked if I could have her number, in which she hesitated sightly, so I told her "No worries, I wouldn't want to be pushy". We then smiled at each other and laughed a bit then went our separate ways. As the situation stands I am quite confused as to what I should do? Give up or keep trying?
Some spare info:
*I know most of her "friends" (People she associates with) but not well enough that I'd really want to discuss it with one of them. I might if it seemed like a way to move things along so to speak.
*I consider myself a pretty kind and caring individual, I am also in good shape and am quite well known among the social circles that she and I are associated with (Sorry if I sound egotistical)
*This has happened to me once before but the girl in the past case had been one that would lead you on and I would rather not misread any signals
[ | ]: Girl said maybe to being interested, have had some further interaction and not sure whether to proceed or stop the pursuit of happiness |
t3_2xc1qg | legaladvice | My daughter's iPad was confiscated along with over 50 others, for suspicion of inappropriate book discussion. Is this legal at all? | My daughter's iPad was taken away by a school coordinator yesterday. When she asked the teacher for a reason, he explained that there had been somebody making inappropriate book discussions on the school forums. Hers, along with over 50 others, have been confiscated until "the culprit comes forward".
The majority of these iPads have been purchased by the parents of the students, and are not school property in any way. At the beginning of the year, my daughter had to sign an agreement form that stated that they would confiscate iPads ONLY if students had been misbehaving or causing damage to the school's network systems. This situation doesn't fit either of these requirements, but they've confiscated them anyway, purely based on suspicion.
The coordinator also warned that they would force students to remove passcodes from their iPads of nobody confessed after a week. I feel like this is a serious violation of privacy, as her personal information (emails, passwords and contacts) are on it.
Is this legal? Or has the school crossed the line on what they can do to retaliate? | iPads confiscated based on suspicion. I have privacy concerns and don't think this is legal. Please help! |
t3_4yvfve | jobs | Going from a chef to Software Development | Hello, kind people. So basically I'm a 24-year-old chef. I'm on a degree course in my second year(BSc Applied Computing degree.
So I have gained an HNC in Software Development (will gain an HND after the second year) and a vendor certificate. Plus most importantly I love what I'm learning. I absolutely love the whole debugging code and trying to get it to work. It makes it difficult to sometimes go into work, to be honest.
My question is I don't know if my current job has many transferable skills related to Software Development which actually scares me. Do you think this is so? Also, would you in my position try to leave the world of cheffing for a more techy job before looking for an internship/future Software job? (My only worry with this option is it's quite difficult to find any local jobs in admin/helpdesk work and I don't feel qualified at all for even the lowest tier of IT positions).
I'm going through local software companies and emailing them about the prospect of getting some work experience days at a few them. My course has a mandatory summer work experience between 3rd and 4th year but I thought it'd be good for me and my CV to get some before looking for internships.
Plus over the next few months, I've made a detailed list of goals and aims when it comes to coding and that to try and build a little portfolio of programs. Also, I've booked an appointment at my universities careers centre to discuss my CV and gain their insight. | Worried I have no skills anyone will want and at 24 it'll be a hard to slog to get those skills. |
t3_3qcfj3 | relationships | My ex (18/M) had sex with me (19/F) and acts like we're together but told me he doesn't have feelings for me | We were each other's "first love" and dated for a year on and off. We broke up 6 months ago because he found out I moved on during one of our on-off periods.
After that, we went no contact after breaking up and he considered my moving on as cheating on him. We still ended on decently good terms and he recently reached out to me. I still have pretty heavy feelings for him.
He initially told me he was over me and would not talk to me if I tried to get with him, yet he started flirting with me. We started talking a lot and he asked to see me, and we had sex.
I still love him and I thought that maybe there still were feelings there. He honestly acts like he has feelings towards me; He wants to talk to me all the time and acts better towards me now than he did when we were dating. He flirts with me and facetimes me constantly so he can see my face everyday. Things like that.
Today I brought up how he told me he wouldn't talk to me if I tried to get with him, yet here he was trying to get with me? I pushed him on the subject and he told me he is over me but I make him horny.
I don't know what to think. It feels like we broke up all over again, but worse because this time he doesn't want me back. To me, I would never be able to find my ex attractive and have sex with them if I don't have feelings for them. My friends think he's only saying he doesn't have feelings for me so that we don't end up getting back together, since it's a bad idea due to our history. I don't know what to think.
Is it actually possible? To treat a girl like you care about her and want to see her and talk to her all the time, to do all that but not care about her more than as a sex object? Please give me your insight | My ex acts like we're in a relationship and all lovey dovey but told me he's over me, is he telling the truth or putting a barrier between us so we don't get back together? |
t3_3froog | relationships | Me (24F) wants to hopefully date my new friend (25M) heeeelp! Christian Dating! | So a bit of back story yes? Im a 24 year old virgin also a Christian and upon one of my late night shifts this handsome young man comes in (imagine a young Vin Diesel glasses and a sleeve tattoo) and asks for his order etc.
Over time we talk and I find out he is a Christian also (which confused me given the tattoos), he became a Christian three years ago upon realizing the life he led in his words (loose women and cold booze) didn't bring him happiness. He also reveals that his last girlfriend 4 years ago, was emotionally abusive, verbally abusive and even had her brother threaten him with death upon leaving the relationship.
Now he says he is fairly against going in a relationship ever again and I understand but is there anyway I can convince him otherwise? I can't stop thinking about him and he makes me feel flustered and floaty.
We get on well and laugh a lot also I just..I just can't stop thinking about him. | How do I convince my friend who is against relationships to go out with me? |
t3_2hxehc | relationships | Me [23 M] with my ex [19F] 9 months. She wanted a "break" and I said no. | My ex and I were doomed from the start. I am in the process to become a police officer, she regularly uses illegal substances. She was a selfish and manipulative girl. Sometimes she would get irrationally angry at me, then threaten to have a guy come pick her up. She would get mad at me when I am saying anything she remotely didn't like. There was barely a middle ground. She is the definition of a 'tumblrina'. So dramatic about any and all issues that are just insignificant and petty. She was always the victim. couldn't hold a job, and only had male friends. Even today I'm not sure why or how this relationship lasted so long. I wish it hadn't. But after saying all that.... I still feel like i miss her. But this time. I'm gonna hold strong. I will not be taking her back, even though I fully expect to hear from her in the next few days. I don't know what it has been about her, but she was always able to suck me back in. | Finally broke up with a girl, should have ended long ago. left feeling lonely and relieved. Thanks. |
t3_34aej2 | tifu | TIFU by Playing the Movie "Annie". | This TIFU is currently unfolding right in front of my eyes, and there's really nothing I can do about it from complete and total shock.
A little tidbit about myself: I'm an office manager for a counseling service during the day.
So, this morning started out as usual; the therapists come in, look over their schedules, I put a movie on the TV, and proceed to browse Reddit while they are in session. All is well in the world of prissypuff as I'm browsing subreddits and my bosses are in their offices.
About 20 minutes ago; the first movie of the day, Happy Feet, was over and I go out put on movie two, the seemingly inoffensive movie of a rags-to-riches orphan girl, Annie. As I'm walking back to my office, I notice one of the people in the waiting room glaring at me. Thinking that since this is a counseling service, this person is probably just having a bad day, I proceed to give him the biggest dumbfuck megawatt grin I can muster and scurry back to my office.
As soon as I hear the first song of the movie start up, realization sets in and I realize what horror I just brought upon myself and my bosses.
I feel now is the time to mentioned that a few of the clients in the waiting room are children in a local group home, and they are here because they have been deemed "unadoptable"; so they need counseling for behavioral issues.
That's why I received the glare from hell from who I now know is the guardian for these kids; and now he probably thinks I am the biggest asshat on the planet for that shiteating grin I gave him as he was trying to subtly show me that this may not be the best thing to play right now. | ♫It's the hard-knock life for the kids I just colossally insulted 2 hours into my day♫ |
t3_3al4wh | relationships | My [22M] mother [44F] sees me as a failure and disappointment | All this happened and started because I got my ears and my nose pierced.
We were in the car when she finally saw it and started crying and slamming the car wheel. She told me she failed at setting the right example and that what I was doing wasn't right and wrong. I have some tattoos and she pointed those out too. She said I'm soon to dress up like the demonic people that wear black all the time. It hurt me that she thinks expressing yourself is wrong unless you do it in a mild manner. That being me isn't the correct way to live unless whatever I do I approved by her.
It sucks that she also said that I was the reason she didn't do a lot. She was setting a good example but I find that bullshit and just reason to blame me for things. She also when on to say that if I had a father (ran away when I was 5, haven't heard from him since) that was right, I wouldn't be doing this shit and disrespecting her. That she should've been more strict and a hardass on me so I would stay in school and be doing something with my life. Granted, I do have a job that helps me pay bills and half of the rent for our apartment.
She topped it off and said to be in public with her again, I would need to take out these piercings out because it's an embarrassment to be seen with her like this. I'm already depressed and have severe anxiety so hearing this just tanked me downwards into darkness. I can't be happy around her anymore. I got out of the car and got into mine and she walked by and slammed her arm into the car window. This isn't your typical mom and son fight. I'm hurt by this. I spent an hour in the car at a diner parking lot crying because I don't see my point to live if I seem to be a huge fuck up and screw up.
Peeps of reddit, please give me advice because I can't do this anymore :'( | mother doesn't approve of what I've done with my life. Embarrassed to be seen in public with me. Depression already has me down but this makes me wish I were dead ten times over. |
t3_2bu4t6 | dogs | Aggressive dog moving next door, help? | My boyfriend and I moved into one half of a duplex two months ago with our two dogs (4 yr old boxer/hound and 10 yr old beagle/dachshund). This week we found out that a few acquaintances of mine will be renting the other side of the duplex and that they told the landlord they will have 2 dogs. I have since received word that there will actually be 4 or 5 dogs, though I don't know that this landlord will mind that part, as my boyfriend's previous roommate in another one of this landlord's properties got two dogs without telling her.
What worries me a lot more is that one of these dogs, a mastiff puppy, has already killed another dog. They're trying to keep this information quiet, so I'm not sure how many of our mutual friends know this—I assume they didn't tell the landlord. Both sides of the duplex share a single fenced yard, and I'm concerned for our dogs' safety as well as our own. My boyfriend has a good relationship with this landlord, and I would like to discuss my concerns with her. What is the best way to bring this up? I'd prefer to have this issue resolved before they move in and not after there's already been an issue. Also, if the landlord will not void their lease, what can I do to keep our dogs safe? | A dog that has already killed another dog is moving in next door, and we will share a yard. Looking for the best way to bring this up with my landlord before they move in? |
t3_2oolsa | relationships | Me [32 M] feeling guilty, but I think I shouldn't | Hello everyone.
I break up with my gf around 4 months ago (we decided it's better for both of us this way). We've been living together until last month and now she's gone.
Like 1 month ago I've asked an ex-gf to come spending Xmas here. I was more throwing a joke-invite, but she accepted and she'll come here.
The idea is that sometimes I feel kind of guilty. I have a stupid feeling (like I'm cheating). But, as I said, me and my gf broke up like 4 months ago. I keep telling to myself that this is stupid and that I have nothing to be ashamed / guilty of.
Maybe it's because we still lived under the same roof for another 3 months. And we're apart for real for like 1 month. And we're still friends - just friends, really :)...
The thing is that I keep asking myself if this is normal. To feel the way I feel, considering the situation.
I want to mention that I didn't cheat her (in person or sexting) while we were together.
Any opinions / advices?
Thanks in advance | Broke-up with my gf like 4 months ago. Still lived together. Now another girl (an ex-gf) is coming to spend Xmas here and I'm feeling something like... guilt. |
t3_47451x | relationships | My [32 M] roommate's [30 M] girlfriend [20-something F] is constantly at our place when he is not there. | She is ALWAYS at our house when he is not (she's always here when he is too, but that I can understand). A couple of weekends back he went to visit his folks out of town and she posted up at the house all damn weekend. Not only that, but she sat in the living room watching whatever bullshit shows she enjoys, using the washer and dryer and kitchen for extended periods.
Now this week the roommate is out of town for work. I was looking forward to having the place to myself, watch my shows at a reasonable hour for a change, not have to wait to make dinner, etc. only to come home and have her right there front and center on the couch.
I find this behavior extremely inconsiderate and also kinda awkward. I know if the shoe was on the other foot, I would feel weird about being at my SO's house when they were not - especially for extended periods. It's also not as if she doesn't have her own place, she does, and literally never stays there.
I'm not the type of person to cause a scene/rock the boat, but I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. Am I overreacting? What should I do? | Read the title. Am I out of line for being upset? Suggestions? |
t3_35tl89 | relationships | [Relationships] My (25M) new gf (25F) thinks the pill causes cancer | Started seeing a new girl just over a month ago and recently went official. She's really nice: small and petite and significantly more mature than the women than I've been with in the past. We've had several really good conversations and I think the relationship has a lot of potential.
We've had sex a few times and it's always been with a condom, for obvious reasons. In the past, I've used condoms with new partners 100% of the time and then slowly transitioned towards the female pill as a contraception method when I've been in a relationship. Thinking about it, I'm not sure I've actually been with a girl who was not on the pill, even for a ONS. What's certainly the case is that I don't like using condoms unless I have to - I find they get in the way of sensitivity and intimacy. I also have anxiety problems generally and condoms make this worse.
Anyway, she came over yesterday, we had sex and afterwards we were talking about contraception. Out of nowhere, she comes out with the idea that the pill is correlated with several types of cancer. She also advocated the withdrawal method, and said that there are worse things than getting pregnant at 25. For someone who is otherwise reflective, shy and intelligent, both these statements seemed out of character. Both the withdrawal method and starting a family are things that freak me out...
I did some research and it seems that pill usage is indeed correlated with two forms of cancer, but is also linked to cancer reduction in a number of other cases.
I'm not entirely sure what to do about this. I'm going to bring up my feelings next week when we see each other again. I don't want to force her to take the pill, and couldn't even if I wanted to! The withdrawal method is not an option for me. We could do everything with condoms, but I have some reservations about that like I said. We could also look into other contraceptive methods. The other option is breaking things off completely, but I'm reluctant to do that because I find her interesting. What do you think I should do? | New girlfriend surprised me with odd views about the contraceptive pill. Not sure what to do. |
t3_u983k | relationship_advice | [25M] Weird relationship, what's going on? | I met this girl at a friend's wedding, about a year and a half ago. She spent most of the night casually chatting with me, then we both went our ways after exchanging numbers. I called her a few days later, she said she was kind of busy that week and we agreed to wait for the next weekend. She did not answer when I called her that weekend and didn't return my call.
Since my friend had told me she had recently broke up and was still not quite ready to date (her previous BF apparently broke her heart), I assumed she wasn't interested and tried to forget about her...
Then, last week, my friend told me I should call her because she asked after me. I did, and we chatted again for over half an hour, during which **she** asked me out. We agreed on saturday evening. She seemed genuinely interested.
Saturday afternoon: I get a SMS from her, telling me that she was sorry and couldn't come that evening. We agreed to meet on monday instead. I felt something was not quite right, once more.
Monday (today), 1:30PM: I call her, she's cheerful, and we plan to meet at 9PM. 30 minutes after that call, I get another SMS from her. She tells me this is a bad idea after all. I ask her why, she tells me she isn't ready to date anyone right now. I then ask her why she asked me out in the first place, and tell her that I care about her (in a friendly way). No answer... That last SMS feels like a mistake now.
What's up with that?
She's a really nice girl and I do care about her, but I don't know what I should do now.
Should I call or message her again in a few days? Or sooner? Should I apologize about that last SMS? Or leave her alone and try to forget, once more?
I'm completely confused! Any advice is welcome, right now... | Girl wants to date me, cancels every time, then tells me she's not ready after all |
t3_uaah7 | relationships | I don't ever want to have sex anymore, what should I do? | I'm f20 and he is m19, we've been together for 3 years and over the past few months I just can't bring myself to have sex very often.
It irritates me how he always has an erection and thinks poking me with it is cute. I just don't feel like the person I used to be. But I try all of the time, and I have sex with him as often as I can. Other than that, I only WANT to have sex maybe once a week.
He cheated on me a few months ago (not sexually as far as I know) when he was in Kentucky, and I felt a huge drop in trust and attraction since then. Sometimes I have trouble sleeping because I can't stop thinking about him with her and I always wonder what made her so much more attractive than me.
I was also molested as a child and he is aware of that, and I just do not like sex like other people do, and I certainly don't like being pushed to have sex.
What should I do? I know he's getting frustrated. | I am tired of our sex life and don't want to have sex anymore than once a week (if even), he is getting frustrated, what should I do? |
t3_2x4ktb | relationships | Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [26 M] 7 years. He recently mentioned that he is not interested in marriage. | We have been together for 7, going on 8, years, which is most of our young life. We enjoy our time together and I believe we deeply love each other. I have always been up front about wanting to marry and start a family by age 30. I have always wanted to have children before I grow too old. I have been very clear about this, and I was hoping to be married by 29 at the latest so we could start our family together. He has expressed his disinterest in getting married, even stated that he does not want to get married in that time frame. He has also stated that it makes him feel bad to make me wait for him to be ready. I have known this all along, that it may take some time for him to be ready. I know that I will have to be patient, and while I joke occasionally, I have never truly pressured him. I am feeling scared and depressed this morning, because marriage is something I have always felt is inevitable, and we have spent so much of our lives together. I don't want that all to be a waste, and I truly do love him more than anyone. I can't imagine being with anyone else or starting over, and I'm getting choked up just thinking about the possibility. | I want to get married and start a family. He does not want to commit. How long do I put my life on hold for him? What do I do? |
t3_4z5c2a | relationships | Me (20M) with girlfriend (19F) of 6 months need help handling coming out of the honeymoon phase | Hi so my (20M) girlfriend (19F) and I have been dating for 6 months exactly and we have recently started to butt heads and end up in more arguments. Before this we didn't argue more than normal couples and we were extremely good, however we have started to get on each others nerves. She suggested we spend too much time together which is possible, we both go to university so we have the flexibility to stay with each other for a large portion of the day so she wants to maybe each of us have more of our own thing so we aren't together constantly. I'm more than happy to try this I was just wondering if any of you guys have any tips or how to survive the first month or two out of the honeymoon phase? | Advice needed on how to deal with the first couple of months out of the honeymoon phase |
t3_2dthie | tifu | TIFU by reading TIFUs late at night | Anyways, last night I decided I would go to sleep "early" (early for me, around 02:00) because I had to go somewhere in the morning, so I got into bed around that time, and thought to my self that I would be on reddit for a little and then go to sleep. Turns out, I wasn't on reddit "for a little" - I ended up bring on reddit for 3 hours, until around 5. I had to get up early, so once I realized how I fucked up by staying up late accidentally, I went straight to bed.
I woke up early, like I planned to, at around 9:30 because I had a private lesson to help get ready for school so in the end I only slept around four and a half hours. As you can probably imagined, I was so tired when I woke up. During the whole lesson I was half asleep with my eyes at like the teachers boob level because I couldn't lift them (I was that tired) so it was also very embarrassing to reflect back on that now. Didn't learn anything the whole lesson. | reading TIFU kept me up all night woke up earlier for class wasted a lot of money on class because I didn't learn anything. |
t3_168isi | relationship_advice | [17/f] trying to get through my boyfriend's (18/m) severe depression without losing myself. | We've been dating for the last three years and slowly this has crept up on us. He is not close to his family and doesn't have super close friends. He was diagnosed last October/November and is supposed to be taking depression medication. I have read a bunch of posts about how it's better for both people if we break up because he is going to "drag me down" and it's too big of a responsibility to take. I love him and I would do anything to make him happy and to support him because he's an amazing and talented guy and he is a genuine human being but I am slowly breaking down. He won't take his medication seriously so his mood goes from really happy and energetic to not getting out of bed till 8 PM at night. He'll make a bunch of plans with me and then text me while I'm on my way to his house telling me he doesn't want to see me. I know it's hard, I can't even imagine what he is going through, but how can I help him and still feel like I'm in a two-way relationship? No one else has to deal with him on a daily basis like I do and yet I feel like even he doesn't realize how much I am doing for him. I am stressed, sad, and frustrated. I love him and want him to get better, but I can't help him till he is ready to help himself. How do I separate my feelings and emotions when he hurts me and ignores me from the fact that it isn't his fault? How do SO's get through this without losing faith and falling apart. | My boyfriend of three years has severe depression and won't take his medicine continuously. I don't have a support system and feel like I'm being irrational when he ignores and hurts me. How do I get through this with him? |
t3_tf484 | AskReddit | I was just scolded for leaving my cash on the register conveyer belt instead of handing it to the cashier. What are some common courtesies/faux pas you were not aware of which lead to fairly awkward moments? | Story:
I am a college student in the middle of exams; currently my head is in another world. I placed my three dollar bills right behind the three boxes of kraft dinner I was purchasing. I have placed money on the belt before, and I am not quite sure why I chose to do so now. A man in his early thirties behind me started saying something, with a smile on his face. I could not hear him, so I just politely nodded and said "yes" in agreement. He looked slightly confused at my reaction, and as I was walking away he proclaimed loudly: "She's a person, you can at least hand her the money". As I turned around, it hit me that the cashier was a Latina and the man scolding me was an African American.
So, if you would, tell me some of your stories of a similar vein and hopefully they'll make me feel better. Or if you don't have a story, but have a faux pas you feel everyone should know, be my guest! | I was just made to feel like a racist asshole, and I want you to make me feel better about myself, reddit. |
t3_1dky1k | relationships | I [24f] need to know if I'm capable of working things out with my boyfriend [25m] of a year. | I [24f] met him [25m] online a little over a year ago. Things were great at first, and then they started getting rough about five months ago. There are a few problems that have come up that are particularly troubling me. One is that he wants to see me every night even though I work a long ways a way, and I never get my own time for myself. I've expressed to him over and over that I need time for me to do things like read and run and watch my favorite shows, but he insists on seeing me any time I am not working. Whenever I mention it to him, he gets frustrated and sometimes he argues to the point of me feeling hopeless. The second has to do with arguing. When I bring up things that he doesn't like (needing time, wanting to spend less money, etc) he argues with the intent of trying to make my feelings invalid. He tries to frame my needs as faults of me and my character. He'll throw his arms up in the air and throw things sometimes (though not at me.) When the arguments go on for a while, he sometimes cries or shuts me out completely. I am left feeling completely hopeless.
I feel as if the arguments paired with not getting a break from being right next to him are wearing me thin. I have less motivation to see friends and do productive things because I am so worn out. I love him but I feel emotionally drained all the time. Is it worth trying to work out? | Five months ago my boyfriend and I started arguing to the point of emotional exhaustion and he won't ever let me be alone. Is it worth saving the relationship? |
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