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t3_3a0iza | relationships | Me [15 M] with my Dad [46 M] is abusive both to my mom and me | My dad has hit me and my mom before, usually every 5-6 months. But in this past year its gotten out of hand, every two months. He has been drinking a lot more and my mom has been drinking more. My mom has wanted to get out of this marriage for close to 8 years but she can't, due to the fact she cannot support me and her on her own.
Well, tonight I snapped. My parents were arguing, and my dad started getting in her face. She ignored him and went upstairs, locked the door, and started going to bed. Well, she decided to use the restroom before she went to bed. So my dad kicked down the door and started pushing her and poking her. I pushed him to get him to stop, then he put me in a complete headlock, which I couldn't breath for 20-30 seconds. My parents started fighting, then he left. I later saw he full on bit my moms hand. I can't deal with him anymore. I'm all alone tomorrow (With him), and I don't know what to do. | my dad is an asshole |
t3_1u6g2p | relationships | I'm (23/M) dating the ex-girlfriend (21/F) of a former friend (21/M) who probably could hurt me seriously - help! | Hi Reddit
My situation: I know this girl and her ex-boyfriend for about 4 years. They broke up about a year ago. I lost contact with this friend about the same time because he went into an direction I didnt want to participate in any way (drug dealing). So from my side I don't think we are really friends anymore.
The girl: Let's call her Tracy. I met her suddenly at a party. we were both shitty drunk and suddenly we were making out. After that I went 2 weeks on vacation.
During vacation she confessed that she has feelings for me. Now I'm back and we were hitting it off instantly.
What I didn't know was that the ex-boyfriend still had feelings for her and that they somehow still didn't broke up for good - at least in his opinion. He is well known for punching people in the face because of small things that happen.
So we were having a good night with amazing sex at new years eve. Went to bed like 9am. Now the problem: at 11am there was constantly ringing the door bell, someone was knocking loudly on the door. It was him. He did it so long until she let him in for getting a "phone charger" that is his. As it seems he only wanted to get in to see if I'm laying there. Well I was butt naked and totally passed out. He tried to throw a iPhone with full speed at my head - at least that's what she told me. I was still too drunk to realize what was happening and that he missed me only about an inch. I didn't say a single word. When he didn't wanted to leave she scratched him in the face and he finally left.
I got a text for him that he never expected me to do such a thing and he's fucking angry. I haven't texted back. Tracy thinks it's best that I don't contact him at all and avoid him at all costs until he calms down.
Guys what do you think I should do? I really don't want to get seriously physicially hurt and I was fucking scared because he has an intimidating physical appearance. | I'm dating former friend's ex-girlfriend and he wants to kick my ass... |
t3_1t5f5z | relationships | Slept with best friend (also ex-girlfriend's best friend). | I love you guys on Reddit. Due to personal reasons, this is a throwaway account, unfortunately.
My ex-girlfriend (23/F) and I (22/M) had been dating for three years, until one month ago when we broke up (mutually). Her best friend (22/F) used to hang out with me and her all the time (4 years), and we eventually became extremely good friends.
She used to be interested in me before my ex and I started dating, but it turned into a very close friendship afterward. We even joked that I was dating the two of them, since they were so close.
My ex girlfriend and I mutually broke up a little over a month ago, after a three year relationship. We were living together, so I chose to move out and find another place to live. I have been spending so much time with her best friend.
One night, we got drunk together, and slept together. All my friends think me and my ex's best friend (also my best friend) are cute together, and should date. I am clearly attracted to her, and her to me. At least to the point of casual sex. But I don't know how to deal with this. She also broke up with her boyfriend about the same time my now ex-girlfriend and I broke up. I think I'm falling for her. She is going to a family Christmas party with me in a couple weeks. How do I progress? I don't want to ruin her relationship with my ex, but I also don't want to ruin her friendship with me. I love her as a friend, but I also want something more.
What do I do? Am I a friendship destroyer? | My best friend is also my ex-girlfriend's best friend. I'm falling for her, and we recently slept together. She's hiding it. What do I do next? |
t3_51tfrb | relationships | I [19 M] got my first tinder match [19 F] that I didn't completely fuck up within the first few messages. So far things are going good. How long should I wait before asking to meet in person? | First off, I am very inexperienced with dating. All of my romantic experience so far seems like it has come from pure luck. Second, I have never met up with someone I met online before. Anyway, I have no idea what to do. She swiped right after I super liked her, so I am wondering if she likes bold moves and if that's the case I want to ask her to lunch tomorrow or saturday (the day after). However, I really don't want to fuck this up. She is exactly my type- petite, redhead, intelligent, kind of nerdy, etc. Am I over thinking this? Also, what should I do for a first date? I was thinking lunch but the small town we're in doesn't really have any good restaurants that aren't more expensive than I really want to do. Coffee seems nice, but I don't particularly like fancy coffee and I have no idea if she does either. There isn't really much else to do in this shitty town, and there is a large city within a 45 minute drive, but I don't want to ask her to get in a car with a stranger (me) or drive all that distance.
Anyway, I am probably going to ask her on a date soon anyway since that's just my gut feeling, but I want advice first in case this is likely to fuck things up. | got my first tinder match that I can actually see going somewhere and I'm super nervous about how to proceed. Any advice? |
t3_2vhi4t | offmychest | You keep telling me everything is fine | It isn't. Something went wrong between us. I made some stupid mistake(s?) and you won't tell me what it is.
We were texting everyday and you enjoyed it. I enjoyed it too, because you did. And we finally met again after four months without seeing eachother. We both were happy to see eachother again. I was happy that you were happy to see me again.
The week after, texting with you wasn't the same anymore. You seemed distant, passive, not interested. You still do, actually. I immediately knew I fucked up. I want to admit, but you won't let me. I already asked you what's wrong. School, It's not because of me. Alright, so I gave you some space.
We met again a few weeks later. You were avoiding me. You even avoided looking in my general direction. I can't belive you're doing this because school's troubling you. I got frustrated and drank too much that night. Drunk me decided it would be a good idea to adress it right there. You told drunk me you weren't doing it on purpose, rather unknowingly. Alright. Sober me remembers everything that had happened that night, everything you told drunk me. And I wish I didn't, cause it hurts. I was frustrated and deleted our chat history, all those sweet and funny texts we exchanged. Something I wouldn't have done normally, because I have this big crush on you.
We haven't talked much since. I tried initiating conversation, but it's just not the same anymore. Stupid me asked you again what I did wrong. Over text. And you told me, everything's fine. Maybe for you it is.
I felt that I was somehow important to you and that I had some sort of impact on your life. And I just can't believe it's all gone. Just like over night. Please let's just talk and settle things. | I want you back. |
t3_k040q | AskReddit | I have only gone through the first day of college so far, why do I feel sick to my stomach already? Am I alone in this?..I just feel like growing up fucking sucks. (I'm a guy) | (most likely not due to difficulty of classes since I'm already at terms that classes will always be somewhat of a challenge) I feel like when I was a little kid and didn't want to go to camp. I'm guessing it's because I'm living away from my home in a rural place away from the city. I actually have the urge to break down in tears. Doesn't anyone else just remember the times when you could hang out worrying about nothing. And another thing to top it off is that my gf is worried that our relationship won't work out. Yes, I understand most of you recommend not coming into college attached, but I did. Sorry for this really long rant, it's just that I feel all alone right now with all the responsibilities dumped on me so quickly... | First world problem...but what can you do? |
t3_3afqrq | relationships | I'm [25 F] breaking up with my boyfriend [23M] of 8 months, even though I don't want to. | My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months. We are very different, but care very much about one another, and so we've found ways to work around our differences (i.e. I have a career, he doesn't, he wants to hangout with his friends all of the time, I don't have time, etc.)
We decided to move in together (I know it's soon, but this is New York), and I feel that this decision has brought our issues to a head. I feel neglected by him, as though he puts no effort into our relationship - I attribute this partially to his untreated chronic depression. He also is unable to communicate and shuts down completely when we talk about our issues. He promises to work on it, yet he fails to take any real action - and when I address specific concerns to him, he fails to see why they're important until after we've had a long argument.
My mother thinks that I should try to make things work, ignore my feelings and focus more on making him feel supported, rather than trying to change him. But, I can't help but feel like that will make me feel like shit.
The other night, after telling him several other times that I would need to walk away if things didn't change, he did something that pushed me over the edge and I just told him he needed to move out. He seems to think that this was inevitable and feels that he is defective - so it seems like he doesn't really want to try to make this work.
I suppose my question is this - is my mother correct in thinking that I should make this work and be patient with him? or am I correct in thinking that it's hopeless, that he doesn't want to make it work or can't due to us being in two different places in our lives and him being depressed? I really wish I could make it work. | Boyfriend and I are in two different places in our lives. I feel neglected and he feels "mothered." Do I stay and try to let go of my needs and focus on making him feel appreciated for who he is, or admit defeat and walk away? |
t3_1rn9cc | relationship_advice | Not sure if this is the right subReddit. I [20/m] met a Girl [19/f] at a bar last Sunday. | First of all i have to state that i am a very shy guy and normally not that good with females.
Last Sunday i was out with friends and met a very cute girl, people say a 'out of my league' kinda cute. When i saw her i had courage to move up to her and start a conversation, i asked her if i could take a seat and she said its oke.
We talked for over 3 hours straight over a whole lot of things, we had alot in common. She was there with friends and could have walked away at all times, but she didn't.
Now the problem is, i didn't had the balls to ask for her number and i had to leave due to trouble with a friend ( he got himself into a fight).
The next day i added her on Facebook, she accepted within minutes, now the problem is... she ignores me.
I am not the stalky kinda guy so i did 2 attempts in 3 days, both attempts she saw my message but ignores them.
What could this mean? Ofcourse i do want to talk to her but all i have is her Facebook. If she doesn't like me, she could have stayed for less than 3 hours? | Met a girl at the bar, had lots of fun. Ignores me now. |
t3_2xb4xw | Advice | I'm hating university and thinking of dropping out. | Hello all, firstly, let me tell you who I am and where I'm coming from. I am 19 years old and I've been in university since September in an automotive technology program. There are two reasons I chose this program: 1) Because I am a car fanatic and enthusiast and love everything about cars. 2) Because I had no other options (grade 12 average wasn't high enough for engineering and not low enough for them not to accept me). And of course my parents didn't want to see me fail in life and wanted me to go to university. Here's the dilemma: I am hating it.
I went into this program thinking they would teach us vehicle technology and its applications from day one. Being university, they don't do that. I have to take bullshit courses that I never thought I would be taking. And the worse part of it all, it's all lectures. We do electrical circuits, and chemistry experiments in the labs. There is a course called "communication skills" which absolutely enrages me because of how stupid and pointless it is. Anyways, the point is that I am hating everything about this program. There is too much book work and not enough practical, hands on work. Now that I think about it, I think college or straight to work would have been a better option. All I want to do is learn about, and work on cars, I didn't sign up for all this math and physics and programming and electricity book work bullshit. And its not like I'm failing anything, I'm passing, but with C's and D's.
I know I may be wrong and some of you might tell me to stay in the program, but I can't take it anymore. Some of you might tell me to stay because of the university life, but honestly, I could care less about that. I live at home with my parents and commute to school everyday (about an hour bus ride) and it's nearly impossible for me to go out and party on weekends. | I'm absolutely hating university and the program I am in and thinking of dropping out. |
t3_41vtpr | relationships | My gf [19F] and I [20M] of 2 years recently decided to spend less time together. Is this bad? | Recently my gf and I have been fighting more often. It's exam season where we are so we can't really do many of the things we'd usually enjoy as a couple. As well as this, since starting uni we've both had a lot less money than usual so we can't do more 'fancy' things we used to do. This is clearly an issue. As soon as exams end we're going to make a conscious effort to do more things.
The second part of this is that we've decided we're speninding too much time together. We live 1/2 a mile away from eachother and so every night we sleep together. Recently this has led to us waking up, going to the library/work, coming back for food and then going to sleep.
As mentioned above, we've been fighting more often, and we talked about this last night. We decided that we should sleep separately at least one night a week and spend time with our housemates and friends. This is the first night we're spending apart, and while it doesn't feel good, it feels like it might be the right thing to do. Maybe spending 100% of our time together like a married couple isn't good.
Now, is the fact that we've decided to spend more time apart bad in general, or is it a reasonable step to keep the pair of us happy and feeling passionate? | is deciding to spend time apart a bad sign in a relationship |
t3_21d6bu | relationships | I'm [20/M] going to ask out a girl [20/F] who I know is going to say yes, but I want it to be memorable. | Okay, so I dated a girl for like 4 months freshman year of High School. It was mutually ended over nothing crazy what so ever. We were just young, inexperienced teenagers just getting into high school. We stayed close and distant through the years but recently started talking again, which is really working out good and we are becoming more crazy about each other. We are older, free-er, and know what we want in a relationship now. We hung out last sunday after 5 years of not seeing each other and we sat in Starbucks talking for over an hour straight and then the rest of that day talking even more, it was great. We talk on the phone daily, we are fully committed to each other and I love it.
I don't need to hear the whole "she's an ex for a reason" bullshit, we didn't break up due to anything with the relationship, just the timing was off. The question is, we both know we want to be in a relationship with each other, its just I am not going to ask her out over text. This friday, we are planning on having an easy night, just watching movies and shows on Netflix and just relaxing. But on Saturday, I told her to keep her schedule cleared, I want dinner, but thats too simple. I want something else that is both simple and easy, but rememberable that we will look back on. Can you wonderful people help me on this? | Me and an ex who only dated for a month over 5 years ago have been talking and its getting really intimate and I know she is going to say yes if I ask her out. The only thing is, I want it to be memorable and sweet/thought out. Help me? |
t3_3wud8w | tifu | TIFU by deleting the global address list | In all honesty, it wasn't me, but a fellow lieutenant in the Army. It was 1996 and the Army was still getting units online. Our brand-spanking new gold lieutenant bars were ready to do some of that leading.
My buddy became the new automation officer of the battalion. And by "new" I mean that there had never been one before. He knew almost nothing about automation. That's how the Army works: OJT. We had just gotten our brigade and battalions connected. My buddy didn't like that when he pulled up the Global Address List, people from the Bde HQ and other battalions also appeared. So he deleted them. He thought it would only affect his view.
There was no backup. He spent the weekend manually creating about 50 entries and the following week fixing permissions. He learned a lot about the GAL. | Don't delete the GAL. Also, do backups. |
t3_46j6bl | relationships | I [21 M] feel guilty about a rebound. | I go to college and had/have a gf [21 F] for 3 years on/off. We were very happy but broke up almost 2 years in because we had personal stress and trouble communicating. A month after I met someone else and began a drawn out fling. I thought I was over my ex and I went on a date with the new girl. Things went sideways later. New girl and I had some problems in between us that prevented us from starting a relationship and I was slowly realizing that I wanted my ex back.
3 months later my ex and I got back together and in a MUCH better place. I was completely honest about what happened when we were split up. She understood and didn't judge me for it. Don't need any help or hate for this. I'm well aware of this sub's witch hunt for getting back with ex's.
I'm struggling with what happened with the new girl. I hurt her when I told her I'd been rebounding and that I wasn't over my ex. I should have known better but I didn't. I was alone and needed someone and I made poor decisions. Most of all I feel guilty for getting her hopes up and then crushing them. I'm not the most attractive or smart guy. I'm definitely more shy and geeky which means I'm well out of my depth when it comes to breaking hearts. I don't want to bother her but I do care about how she's doing. Hopefully one of you can tell me how to handle this. | broke a girls heart by rebounding on her. Ended it the moment I realized I was rebounding. 10 months later and I want to know if I should apologize or let it go. I don't have romantic feelings for her but I care about her and feel responsible for hurting her. What do I do? |
t3_2oimc2 | relationships | My (22/f) boyfriend insults me and doesnt apologize (25/m) then blames all the relationship problems on me. | Im at a standstill in my relationship. We have been fighting a lot lately. Basically, he has issues with interrupting and talkimg over me. He has had the issue from day 1. He used to try to fight it, for a few months everything was good because he actively watched his interrupting and made sure he did it less. Now he has stopped trying. Conversations are hard, especially when I am upset. He regularly interrupts my sentences and puts words in my mouth (eg. I told him he should be nicer to the people at his work, he interrupts and says "so you're sticking up for X Person?" & im like, "No, I was going to say be nice because you work a lot of hours wi th these people in a small place. Be nice to them to make your work life easier.") It creates many miscommunications between us. Now, when I bring up the issue, he likes to tell me, "Well I may interrupt, but you do xyz," & I say ok, I can work on that, but how can I if u dont take the interrupting seriously?" Another new habit he has is not apologizing. This happens often. He told me today I needed to see a therapist from before we started dating (I am fine, he just stresses me out) & I told him I took that offensively and I asked for an apology. He said he wasnt going to because it 1. Was true and 2. Was a "statement" not an "insult" (???) Basically he is no longer the man I fell in love with and when I told him that he told me that makes him feel mentally abused (????) Does this guy even care about me? He says he loves and respects me but im so confused. Is this even worth working out? Every time I bring up an issue its because of me. He isn't to blame for any problems, he turns everything back on me.. | bf is not very nice anymore, respectful, or kind. Doesnt apologize for anything. Blames me for everything. Then says ill never find another guy like him again. |
t3_2mkmid | askwomenadvice | My wife has bad anxiety and some depression. I'm seeking some advice from other mothers. | Long story short, she has bad anxiety along with some other physical medical issues. This past weekend we went out (just me and her) to get our 2.5 year old some winter clothing. Being in stores with childrens clothing, we saw other moms. She sees moms with skinny jeans, riding boots, hair done, makeup done and one or more kids with them, and no Dad to be found. This kind of scenario tends to drive her nuts. She depends on me for a lot of things in this kind of situation. She tends to go out in more comfortable/athletic clothing and she even struggles to do that. She won't put makeup on but questions many, many times how she looks. I constantly tell her she looks great dressed like that and I have no idea what the issue is. She sees these other moms and starts asking:
* What time did they get up?
* Did their husbands help them?
* How did they do their makeup/hair/nails while worrying about the kid(s)?
* Did they get up before the kids and how much earlier?
* How do they find the confidence to wear that clothing?
* Whats their routine like?
* How do they not look tired and stressed out?
* How long do they take to get ready?
I love her to death and she beats herself up so much with these questions. She has that kind of clothing, but doesn't feel comfortable wearing it right now. I try to tell her multiple things about how its not important, and she needs to worry about herself etc...but to no avail. Yes, she is seeking help for these issues but medications with her aren't mixing well with her system, and she's been through 2 therapists, and we're seeking another that is a better fit for her. But if you guys could, just let me know any kind of routines you might do to get out of the house early with kids. Any kind of advice would be helpful, thanks. | Wife with high anxiety and depression questions herself and is seeking advice for daily routines. |
t3_46xycu | relationships | I (22m) thing my girlfriend (21f) is stuck on her ex (27m) and its causing a huge disconnect between us and our relationship. Should i delete him from her facebook? | We've been dating a year. Im not supposed to know shes still stuck on him, but she stalks his facebook religiously. They dont talk but i feel its causing huge problems mentally for her, and creating hurdles for us as a couple that dont need to be there. I can tell when she does it because shes always angrier right after. Should i unfriend him? I cant help feeling this will solve a lot because his profile is private so if theyre unfriended theres theres no point in stalking. I know its not the best thing, but im not looking for criticism, im more looking for pros and cons or maybe similar situations and advice. She doesnt talk to him as far as i know so i dont think she would realize it was me. | girlfriend is secretly facebook stalking her ex and i want to unfriend him on her account. Should i? |
t3_3cdx5y | tifu | TIFU by cooking some chicken noodles soup | This happened nearly three years ago. As a recently single guy, with a very lacking set of cooking utilities(and skills), I decided to just cook some chicken noodles soup. Easy enough right.
So Im heating the soup in a regular cooking pot, and once its ready I realise "Oh wait I have no spatulas to pour it into my bowl". I figure "Hey ill just put the bowl in the sink and pour the soup down into it". Not a bad idea per say, but people who tried know the results; soup in your bowl, noodles in the pot.
Now I guess thats when the fuck up happened. I took the bowl from the sink and figured it was all soup and no needles. So hey, lets just put down the bowl, get a regular spoon and transfer the noodles over. Being a pretty messy, newly single guy theres not much place on the counter, so I deciced to put the bowl down on the oven. Right on the element I just used to cook, and that was still on (was holding the bowl with my fingers underneath it).
Naturally the reaction is to remove your hand as fast as you can, which I did. The result was a flying bowl of soup, all of which went straight on my previously burnt hand and floor(previously my cat, who luckily ran off when I started yelling and swearing).
Luckily I only got minor burns but my hand was pretty sensible for a week or two. It was also only the half of the soup can, so I had a meal left. Didnt have to cook another can, which could have resulted in more injuries. | cooked chicken noodles soup, went to put down my bowl on the still hot oven element, with my fingers underneath the bowl. Bowl went flying, super hot soup goes on the hand that just got burnt from the element. Cat barely made it without a boiling shower. |
t3_1mlnz6 | dating_advice | How can I go about asking her out? | So I (18) have been friends with this girl (17) for a while now and our communication in terms of texting and face to face has been a little bad recently. I only see here around in the halls and once a week for about two hours at an after school club before I drop her off at her house.
I used to have a crush and the feelings have resurfaced. Idk how she feels about me and if she feels that we are anything more than friends. She was very excited to get me into the club, but other than that I can't be sure how she feels.
I was wondering if you know any good ways to start conversation/check to see how she feels about me?
I've been single for a while and my self esteem is kinda shot, so I'm kinda awkward about this stuff. | I like this girl, but idk if she likes me back. Lack good communication. Would like to ask her out but don't know how. |
t3_1d8360 | dating_advice | (20F) Is coming over my house (20M) and would like some tips and what I should expect | Well I Previously wrote on /r/dating_advice on how I should approach this girl /coworker I've had a crush on([Context] and final took the step to ask her out after finding out she was actually single. After going on our first "date" where I just took her to a coffee date and we talked for a good hour, and then talked outside of the coffee shop for another good 20 minutes. We have been texting on and off but not excessively due to the fact that she has made it clear she hates clingy guys so I didn't want to over do it. I recently invited her over to watch a movie/netflix after she suggested we should hang out again. I will be in my living room due to parents not thinking it is proper to bring a girl to a guys room. So I while hanging out should I make the move to at least kiss her or should I be more conservative? Any help would be great on how I should handle this, because she is one of the first girls I've ever asked out so I'm a little inept. | Asked coworker out, date went great, now she is coming over what should I expect and how should I handle myself. |
t3_3qhxaw | relationships | I'm [28 M] wondering if there is any possible way to ask a [25 F] at the gym out | Hey,
So there's this girl (don't know her age but I have to put something so around [25 F])at the gym that I've [28 M] thought was really cute for a while now. We tend to work out at odd times of the day (during the weekend) when we're some of the few people there. Over time, we've developed an occasionally say hi to each other relationship, but haven't even done that in a while.
I've always debated about if I should ask her to get a coffee or something sometime, but the gym just seems like such a terrible place to do it. Also, while she's caught my eye, I have no idea if I'm even distinguishable from anyone else in the crowd.
What do I do? I think I need to at least try and talk to her more than hi first, I'm not sure.
Oddly enough, there is someone the added benefit of not asking her out. Sometimes when I've been feeling a little lazy, it's given me an added motivation to go to the gym. | Is there anyway to ask someone at the gym out? |
t3_1yarct | relationships | My [27m] coworker [24f] is really misunderstanding our hookup | About 6 months ago, I [27m] hooked up with a coworker [24f] at a party. I knew she liked me, but I made sure she knew it was just a fun thing, no commitment, etc. I made sure she understood. She seemed perfectly ok with it...until about a month ago.
Our work schedules ramped up, and I started pulling a lot more hours, which meant that I put my social life on the backburner. She began to complain about how we don't hang out anymore (we used to go grab lunch with other coworkers, or go out for happy hour). I explained that I've been busy working, and it seemed to placate her a little bit. I skipped out on her birthday party because I was out of town...and it seemed to raise some sort of hell. I woke up the next morning to 17 SOBER texts. I replied that I was out of town (she knew I was), and then a week later, I get messages over and over again. 5 - 10 a day. All saying how I don't care about her, how she misses me, etc.
I asked her politely to stop, that she's a good friend, but I've been busy, but she really needs to relax a little. Then it went into a 20 some odd text message novel about how I'm just throwing away what I had, how she wants things to be normal, etc. I told her that I'm going to stop replying, because she's making me uncomfortable, and it turned into her calling.
I REALLY don't want this to escalate, because we work REALLY close together (literally next to each other). Is there something I can do about this? | coworker and I hooked up once, seemed to understand it was just for fun, nothing serious, but is now going a bit overboard. |
t3_4mv3mc | personalfinance | Saving money for a wedding? | So I am 20 and I have recently received $5000. I've been thinking what to do with this money and I figured I would save it for when I get married.
I've been with my gf for 2 years and we talk about marriage. We decided we won't get married until at least one person has their degree and another one has started their career. That will happen in about 4-5 years.
Any idea of where I should put this 5000 so it can grow? I have my own savings and emergency funds , not debt, still live at home. So I wouldn't need to touch it - And if in they event we don't get married then I'll still have money growing. | I have $5000 that I won't be touching for 4-5 years- what should I do with it so it can grow? |
t3_kpw0s | AskReddit | Does anyone else feel like they don't express emotion because of something that happened in childhood? | Something I occasionally say in jest but which just got real for me while chatting with a friend. It started with this comic:
I usually note that I don't typically express emotion and as we were conversing about this comic, I without thinking typed this and now may have found a reason why I don't express. Transcript from the convo:
Me: I still feel like a beached tentacool occasionally. Middle school and high school were no exception, and you might not have hated me but I'm sure you remember how you acted toward me.
Friend: I do and I'm sorry for that
Me: Don't be. The only thing is you didn't hate me and you acted that way. That should say enough about what it was like growing up.
Friend: I am though. You didn't even do anything to me. Idk why I acted like I did. I was a jerk and I'm sorry igf I made you feel bad about yourself.
Me: Lol. The thing is, I never did anything to anybody and that's how everybody treated me. That's the reason I don't express emotion. It takes a lot for a kid to know all of that and act like it doesn't matter. At some point, you just break
Fin.
It's very strange to think about. I wonder what kind of person I would be had I had a different upbringing. Am I the only one? | Wondering if being picked on as a kid affected me more than I thought/gave it credit for and if anyone else has had the same happen. |
t3_3iv4af | relationships | Me [28 M] with my Ex [26 F] 7 years, are now text jousting... | I won't bore you with the details of our breakup. Let's just say we were growing apart, after an almost 7-year relationship, and we had different perspectives on the relationship.
Four months now after the breakup, and we've had very little contact. Recently, she texted me asking how I'm doing, which I've ignored. She'll then message me about business, since we used to live together, and I end up responding to those messages since she needs to know when I'm moving, who takes what furniture, etc.
She segues into asking me how I'm doing and foolishly I tell her I'm doing great. She continues to say that she's "Sorry for the way things ended, and she's sorry we ended in the first place." She continues, "I still care about you and want the best for you." I respond by telling her, "It's cool where we are, but it's too bad where we are."
A few days pass and she asks about her cat, who is staying with me, and if she has enough food. I respond and say she's running out but she has enough. She loses it on me and says, "After being together for so long, this is totally something you'd do - just be selfish and not give a fuck." I ignore.
A week or so later, I tell her about mail she received. A few days later she asks if I'm going to be home cause she wants to see the cat. She comes over while I'm out. I leave a funny joke on her mail, she texts me about it, and I ignore her. Later that night, she tells me, "Ugh, I'm not liking the no replies."
In a drunken stupor, I respond, "What are you doing tomorrow? Want to go to a show?" She says, "I can't =( " and I end it by saying, "You're fun when you're faded."
I definitely hate to over-analyze, but what's happening here from an outsider's perspective? I think I should just continue ignoring her because getting into any sort of two-way communication is obviously going to lead me to this point. | Ex-gf and I are texting each other, and I'm confused about what we're both doing. |
t3_22abo6 | relationships | My boyfriend [23M] and his younger sister are getting kicked out of their home and I [21F] don't know what to do | They both live with their dad and their house has been for sale for ~5 months. Last Sunday they all went out for dinner when his dad announced that he and his new fiancee are moving in together and there isn't enough room to house them. They have about 2 weeks to find a place to live and are understandably freaking out a bit
His mother is a very successful lawyer, but when I suggested he ask her for some help, even if just for a month or two, he shot it down. They have a complicated relationship and he's not her biggest fan. I then suggested he ask some of his family members for help or a place to stay for a while so he can figure things out and he replied that he doesn't want to inconvenience them and that even just asking would be rude.
He's still in school, his sister is still in high school, there's no way they can afford anything halfway decent on such short notice. I'd honestly offer to let them stay with me, but I still live with my parents. | My boyfriend and his sister are getting kicked out and refuse to ask for help from his family. I feel helpless and have no idea what to do to help/if I even should. Help? |
t3_2zf8pf | relationships | Me [26F] with my boyfriend [29M] of 5 years, cheated on me with my friend. | I found out it was an actually an affair afterwards by another friend (I personally had only caught them cheating once). My exfriend and now exboyfriend (he broke up with me, we were living together, on the way to engagement) are now dating, they never admitted any details to me. They lost all of our friends and are essentially "on their own island" now.
Just curious if anyone else has been in this situation? What did you do? What was their rationale, and why did they lead this double life? How did you move forward? Are those people still together, did it last? | Asking advice on affairs with friends and how to move forward. |
t3_2bfm4o | tifu | TIFU by being nearsighted. | Yes, this actually happened today.
I live with my girlfriend and her mom. Her mom got a package in the mail that said "Please refrigerate immediately." Being considerate, I texted her mom to let her know that she had received some perishables and that I was going to put them in the freezer for her. While putting the food (frozen pizzas) away, I saw a puck of ice at the bottom. I thought nothing of it, closed the foodless package, and went to the couch to watch a documentary.
After a short time, the stifling heat started to get to me. Thinking of the package I'd just opened, I fondly remembered the puck of ice and thought about how nice it would be to rest my head on it. I went into the kitchen and reopened the package. There was writing on the plastic covering the ice puck, so I picked it up and brought it close enough to read.
The puck turned out to be dry ice, and I burned my hand (actually mild frostbite) trying to read the packaging warning against grabbing it with your bare hands. | always read the packaging. |
t3_1ljvg5 | relationships | Ex[22M] is getting a female roommate, and I[21F] don't know how I feel about it.. | He broke up with me in early August, and it's been a tough month for the both of us.
Recently, his roommate abruptly decided to move out and my ex was left to scramble to find a roommate. A friend of a friend was looking for a place, and he mentioned he was looking for a new roommate.
Problem is, she's a girl.
When he told me, he reassured me nothing is going to happen. He doesn't want any sort of awkward encounters with her and doesn't want to run the risk of losing another roommate.
I kind of told him I was uncomfortable with this decision and told him "things happen" in those kind of situations. He doesn't believe he'd do anything like that, but I'm worried he may be tempted in the future.
I know we broke up, but I still hold a little bit of hope that we may get back together. And I'm scared that if he's living with another girl, he'll start hooking up with her and our window of opportunity to salvage our relationship will be gone.
Should I be more honest with him, or simply get over our break-up and hope he doesn't do anything stupid? | Ex-boyfriend is getting a roommmate, and I'm scared they'll hook up and he'll forget me. |
t3_1h2slk | relationships | I M20 still have feeling for my friend F20. I want to tell her I still like her but stuck between two choices! | I cant tell where I stand with this friend of mine. I told her once that I liked her but she said she doesnt want to be in a relationship because it could ruin our friendship although she did have a little crush on me.
Fast forward to now and we've been hanging out about once or twice a week. Everyone thinks we are in a relationship even our families but I know thats not the case.
Im being optimstic hoping her feelings for me have changed. And I have it dead set in my mind that Im going to tell her how I feel, I cant handle just being her friend and if she could possibly see me as something more, problem is I dont know exactly when.
I came up with two options:
Option 1: I could give it two or so weeks and hangout with her more and show her how awesome/confident I am and prove I am boyfriend material by actions rather than telling her how I feel. This means being fun and spontaneous. This could either work in my favor or further push me into the friendzone.
OR
Option 2: I tell her how I feel ASAP before my feelings for her get out of control and before any feelings she has for me (if there is any) changes.
Right now im leaning towards 2 just because the more I think about her the more it bothers me. And more importantly, how do I tell her? Is sitting down and telling her face to face good enough? What do I say? | Still have feelings for a friend after she declined long ago. How do approach telling her again? |
t3_yw07x | relationships | Forgetting her exes? | My girlfriend [21] and I [21] are in a stable 7 month relationship. She is my first "long term" girlfriend and took me away from my previous system of random hookups. She has had a pretty normal relationship history: one multi-year boyfriend in high school and two failed "boyfriends" in college (both cheated on her). I happen to know both of her previous boyfriends as one was my previous roommate and the other is a passing friend. We have a great relationship and we haven't hit any major snags, but I can't seem to get her exes out of my mind. It is my own issue and I hate bringing it up around her, but I always find myself thinking of her with them, especially sexually. It is in no way her fault, but I am constantly reminded of them because of our constant proximity (same clubs, work). Any ideas on how I can fix myself? | I can't stop thinking of my girlfriend with her exes |
t3_1m7u4f | relationships | My fiance (27) didn't come home to me (26) last night because he missed his last train. | My fiance lives in Tokyo, and I live in a suburb 1.5 hours from Tokyo. He said he was going to come home last night after going drinking with his basketball team. Trains stop running around midnight in Japan, and we had agreed he would be home around 12:30. At 11, he texted me, saying he would be late. Then at 12, he asked if it was okay to stay at his apartment in Tokyo for the night since he couldn't make his last train.
He said one of his teammates showed up really late, so they all stayed out later. He is Japanese, so it's hard for him to leave early since drinking together is kind of an obligation in Japan. Still, I feel like that mindset is changing, and he could tell them he had to leave if he really wanted to.
I feel like this is disrespectful to our plans to see each other that night, and he didn't worry about missing his train to my apartment since he figured he could just go back to his place. Am I overreacting? | My fiance missed his train to come to my apartment and had to stay at his, but we had plans to meet. Should he have left his friends sooner? |
t3_3s3bls | relationships | I [22M] am becoming increasingly worried that my girlfriend [21F] is cheating on me but have no concrete proof. | Lately iv gotten red flags from my girlfriend but it's definitely possible i'm just being paranoid. It is important to note that we are in a long distance relationship and only see each other twice a month due to the location of our colleges. The first red flag i got was when her facebook relationship status became hidden. When i asked her about it she seemed surprised and said it must have been a glitch and changed it back to "in a relationship" but didn't tag me. Lately she has seemed a little distant and doesn't talk as much but i figured she is simply busy and it's nothing to worry about.
Today was a big one though. We were having a regular conversation and she said "i love you" which was sweet but then about a minute later she said "no problem baby" even though i never responded to "I love you." She quickly said that she meant to send "no problem baby" to her roommate because she agreed to do her a favor and that they just jokingly talk to each other like that. Outside of these few scares she is really sweet and has introduced me to her family as her boyfriend and all that so it makes me wonder if maybe i am just being paranoid. I'm afraid to bring these things up to her because she will likely just say she is hurt i would think that. I really do love her but will not tolerate cheating, however i feel like i don't have enough evidence to confirm i'm not just being paranoid. | She seems distant lately and accidentally said "no problem baby" to me instead of someone else who is supposedly just her roommate. |
t3_4ldung | relationships | Is it weird if after you tell your girlfriend that you'd like to spend more time together, she asks you if you still love her? | Ok, here's a weird one...
My girlfriend of five years (41F) has been drifting away from me (50M). She's often "too busy" to see me, is not affectionate the way she used to be, etc.
Recently, I told her that I sense that she's disconnected from me and asked if we could spend more time together to reconnect, do things like we used to (walk in the park, long dinners/conversations).
She responded by saying "Do you still love me? Are you still in love with me?" To which I said yes, of course, why else would I want to be closer?
Any guesses why she would say that? Just puzzled here. | Wondering why girlfriend asked me if I still love her after I asked her to spend more time together. |
t3_1x49rs | relationships | Gf full of future plans and only 19 and friends with my friends. Need a way out | So my gf and I are fine its just I'm bored. We've been together 3 months and she's full of "hints" of the future that I have no plan for bc once I graduate I want out.
Shes tight friends with one of my close friends and I want to keep the friendship in tact. I'm in a pickle bc I've tried to spice things up(especially in bed) and lessen the intensity of her infatuation to no avail.
I just want to have fun, I'm 21 and I don't even have plans. I'm going to commission soon and likely deploy and the last thing I want is someone home alone
When I said this she thought I was dumping her and broke down, right then I knew this was going to be messy.
Please help reddit. | gf's future plans killin the vibe |
t3_fc23m | AskReddit | Lost a job offer because my brother stole my identity and the courts are too lazy to clear my name | My brother is a multiple-offender. He is a drug addict, in-and-out of rehab, has served 3 sentences in jail totaling 2 years, etc. He has ruined my family, my life, my savings, everything. I could go into a lot of detail of how he is a total dick, but it's not worth it.
In April 2010, he stole my parent's vehicle and bought drugs then got in an accident. He was arrested for the incident, and he said that his name was my name. (He knew my social security to prove he was me, but he was in Denver and I was in Cleveland at the time.)
I have tirelessly worked to clear my name, having gotten in contact with the state investigation bureaus and done fingerprints and hired a lawyer, and the state said "it was handled", but I just got denied a job because, as the HR lady said "they found some things on my record." It was NOT me, and I have done everything I can, but the damn laziness of the judicial system has just SCREWED me out of a seriously awesome job.
I dunno if I am venting or if there is advice I can get, but what do I do? | brother commits crimes, uses my identity, I tried to clear it up to no avail, lost job offer because of false criminal record, wat do? |
t3_11td4b | relationships | Difficulty with SO [m20] "best friend" [f20] | I'm [f20] am having difficulties with my SO [m20] best friend [f20] from high school. We have been dating for approximately 3 years and this girl has always seemed to go out of her way to spite me. Perhaps I am just having difficulties overcoming my jealous (it has been an issue in the past), but she has blatantly told me that she does not like me. I'm nearing the end of my rope with this girl and I have been trying to be the "mature" one that takes the high road. I just really don't know how to bring this up with my boyfriend without him getting angry. Keep in mind that I am not trying to stop them from being friends. I'm just lost; I've tried to extend the olive branch so many times and she's just been nasty. | My boyfriend of 3 years has a friend who is a total bitch and I don't even know what to do anymore. How do I talk to him about it? |
t3_4le71u | tifu | TIFU by thinking I could chest bump my much larger friend. | This actually happened a few weeks ago. I have a friend who we will call Bomb is about 6'2 and 290 lb while I stand at 4'11 and 170 lb.
I regularly try to "fight" Bomb so this wasn't anything new. I happened to see him walking down the hallway of the university that we go to. Being the overzealous person that I am I decided that I was going to chest bump him so he's about 50 feet away and I begin to charge toward him yelling his name. I bump into him full force but as I land on my feet my back arched to far back and I began to fall. The first thought that went through my head was "Oh shit my dress is going to fly up. I don't want to flash the world." I am laughing as I am falling and I pull my dress down so that no one sees anything underneath my skirt. I am so relaxed that by the time I hit the floor it does not even hurt because I am laughing so hard. The group of friends that I was with burst out laughing while the friend I body bumped is just staring at me in shock because he cannot believe what just happened. So there I am laying in the middle of the hallway my friends and I laughing for a good minute while people who saw what happened come up to me concerned and asking me if I am okay while giving my friend who I body bumped death glares. Bomb pulls me up and I quickly explain what happened and the crowd disbursed. Needless to say I have not tried body bumping him again. | Tried to chest bump my friend, failed, and ended up on the floor. |
t3_1ltrff | loseit | 30lb weight loss but now I feel worse. Need womanly advice! | Hi Loseit! I'm a 21yo female. I'm 5ft exactly and I've weighed 145lb for the past few years. In May I decided to start going to the gym and eating healthier, well, I've managed to lose 30lb! I'm now 115 and I've gone down 2 dress sizes.
However, I've always had size F (UK) breasts and it's always been what people remember me by and honestly, I loved it. Even though I'm so happy with my slimmer figure I still can't be happy when I look at myself in the mirror. My bra size is now a C and they're just so.. average looking now. I've even set up consultations with plastic surgeons for breast augmentation surgery.
Has any other women had trouble accepting this? | lost my boobs, not happy |
t3_15rkwm | relationships | I [17M] have trust issues and am paranoid about my one month relationship with my [18F] girlfriend | My last relationship ended with my ex leaving me for a guy halfway across the world, so needless to say i'm a very paranoid/jealous person right now. Normally I would try my best to trust my girlfriend, but it's getting very hard to keep my emotions bottled up. My concerns are:
1. She was considering a Friends With Benefits situation with one of her good friends, of which whom I met. The dude seems to like her, A LOT. Granted while my girlfriend said she wouldn't date him, she also said she had a crush on him freshmen year. She did say that he doesn't treat girls right and that's why she won't date him. She also said that they never did anything because it was too awkward.
2. She said she's a virgin but doesn't have a hymen. She said she tore it during dance. I don't know but to me I just don't believe it. I know she's a VERY flirtatious person (she invited people over to her house and cuddled with a guy who was shirtless. This was before she met me, however, so I'm not inclined to judge). The main concern I have is that she had sex with the friends w/ benefits dude and just doesn't want to tell me. This doesn't make sense at all because: I will find out, I wouldn't be mad if she told me this when we first met, and if I figure out now it's a guaranteed break up.
I don't really have any justification for any of these paranoias; I just have them. I'm mainly here asking for people to beat some sense into me.
Note: I know this is a one month relationship, so I shouldn't be sweating this stuff. But since this a fairly new relationship, I also don't have that trust built up yet. Also, she's done nothing serious enough to lose my trust but I just have a really hard time trust anyone because of my past relationship. I know, it's stupid and illogical to place feelings of a past ex on her, but I'm trying my best to get over it. | Girlfriend has a friend who makes me jealous, she doesn't have a hymen but says she's a virgin. |
t3_3fssh7 | relationships | Betrayed by my best friend of 10 years [22 M]and my girlfriend of 2 years [20F] | What up Reddit,
I've just signed up to post this and I've already posted it on another sites forum but this one is more suited.
I've recently just found out that my best friend and girlfriend have been seeing each other behind my back. The whole thing started about a month ago whilst the three of us were travelling in Vietnam.
I'm just pretty fucked up about the whole thing I only found out last night and they are currently together and perusing a relationship I don't even know how to feel.
I guess it's the lack of remorse and how disposable I was to them both that hurts the most.
I feel like beating the shit out of my snake friend I would of never expected him to have done what he's done.
I guess I'm just venting and looking for advice or similar experiences
Where do I go from here guys? My stomach is in knots at the thought of them together and what they've done. I couldn't ever think of a more disrespectful way to end a relationship. | Best friend and girlfriend have been cheating, dropped me like a hat and continue to see one another what would you do? |
t3_16j1ni | relationships | Either my bf (28m) masturbated with a condom or he cheated on me (33f). | A little background: We have been dating for over 2 years with the exception of a few months when we broke up last year. The breakup was caused by him having a drunk 22f in his office naked. He was adamant he didn't do anything, we continued our relationship until I found out he was speaking to her on the sly. We broke up for a few months, dated other people and ended up back together because we thought we could make it work.
Fast forward to this week. We had a fight on Monday because he was with 2 girls at a bar and he actively tried to hide his plans from me. Didn't talk for 3 days. He texts me on Thursday telling me he is having a party at his house Friday night if I want to come. I tell him I want to talk with him but not at a party. We agree to have dinner Saturday and talk.
Saturday morning - I send him a text asking if he still wants to talk, he responds "no thanks". After some back and forth, we meet and talk it out. Things are good.
Sunday morning - I am at his place. I see that he is missing a condom. (We don't use them and he has had the same pack of 6 since we started dating again. And yes, I count them.) I confront him about it and he initially tells me that he took one out and put it in his wallet because he was mad at me and had no intention of using it. I made him take it out of the wallet (which he did with shaky hands) and I pointed out that this is a different brand than the others. (He has had that particular condom in his wallet since before we started dating and I knew that.) He then tells me that he actually used it in the shower to masturbate. He claimed he lied at first because it was embarrassing.
So here is my question. How likely is it that his story is true? I believe in my heart he cheated. I think if he had some interest in masturbating with condoms, I would definitely know it. I would like some opinions. | Bf and I have a fight and don't speak for 3 days. We make up and I find he is missing a condom. He says he used it to masturbate in the shower. |
t3_1tkgq5 | relationships | Me [21 M] negative greatly outweighs the positive aspects of my current life | Whenever something negative happens I am way more affected as for something works out well (decent, positive, barely) and it's never great amazing or seemingly worth the effort.
Part-time job, University, Just seems waste of effort and time. I eventually pass all my classes and assignments. Just a drag to get it all done.
Social life, I do have good friends, I do enjoy whatever (usually) little time I spend with them but it's nothing new or really enjoyable. Same goes for girls, haven't been able to get with one for a while now just because I've been feeling down and not felt like putting much effort into it. What's the point, just keeping up an act (= a drag). I enjoy being with girl(s) but... I think I'd have to compensate more now that I don't feel that great. As in, to appear more positive (awesome! to her).
What about future? Same thing? What if I always feel more down everytime something negative cancels out the positive? Other way around is much more difficult.
How to create a more satisfying life? How to be more succesful at being happy? | Life seems a drag |
t3_1n17ay | dogs | Any experience running with senior dogs? | I have a female 8 years (to be 9 in February) old Leonberger that weighs about 110 pounds. She just stopped acting like an insane hyper puppy a little over a year ago.
Thing is, I'd love to bring her along on my runs, but I'm afraid to be too rough on her considering her age. I train triathlons and obstacle races. Last time I went running with her, we did around 3 kilometers on trails... and she spent her evening laying on the cold floor afterwards.
I know she loves it, but I don't want to harm her because I've been too hard on her. Do you guys have any guidelines on how I should run her at that age? | I have a senior dog of a giant breed. I train like a maniac and basically don't know what's a reasonable run for a dog anymore. Help? |
t3_33233p | relationships | I [18M] will be meeting one of my best friends [18F] this summer that I used to have a thing with | Okay so I met one of my closest friends about 2 or 3 years ago online we're really close and have talked throughout our friendship about meeting
It looks like this summer it will probably actually be happening, thing is, a while back we used to casually send things to each other/do things on facetime or skype
Ever since then, although I value her in a totally non-sexual way, I've been attracted to her, however, all that stuff stopped after she got involved with some guy in real life. That all ended a good few months ago and she's clearly over it having had a fwb since then, but we never went back to sending stuff
I dont really want to try sending something at the risk of at the very least making things very awkward, question is do you reckon I should address this now, in person this summer or not at all
I feel as if I shouldnt do anything and if it occurs when we meet naturally then cool, if not thats okay too | Meeting an online friend this summer, we were casually sexual, now we're not (she had a boyfriend) should I just leave things as they are despite us both still complimenting each other and it being a long time since shes been with anyone else etc. |
t3_3i9u2n | relationships | Did i do something wrong? M 16 and shes a F 16 (No durantion) | So i met the girl next door who happens to be the same age as me after recently moving into our apartment. She came over to introduce herself and we had a nice conversation and i asked her questions about the new school id be attending and we laughed and i felt like hit it off. At the end of the night she gave me her number and i texted her off and on over the next day or so.
The first day of school came and unfortunately i wasn't able to start yet do to problems in the system, she did however and invited me to come to a little local shop to have lunch with her and her friends.(students can leave campus for lunch) I felt like i made a good impression to her friends and we had a good time in my eyes. The weekend rolled around and i texted her and asked her if she wanted to hang out and maybe come over and watch a movie or something of the sort.
She then started acting weird and saying how she was too tired from volleyball and stuff and told me not tonight sorry. That was fine for me so i just said goodnight and texted her again the next day by saying' "hey :)". Since then which has been about a day and half i havnt heard from her and she said last week she would invite me to lunch again today which she never did. My question is, did i do something to scare her off like asking her to hang too soon or what? | Met this girl and hit it off asked her to hang and watch a movie that weekend, haven't heard from her since. |
t3_3x438n | Advice | Have successfully been diagnosed and treated for my GAD and need advice on what to do next. | Title pretty much explains it. I was diagnosed with GAD about a year ago and through treatment my life has taken a 180 turn for the better. My issue is that I don't know how to really "be" who I am because for so long (I was undiagnosed for about 12 years) my personality was wholly based on my anxiety and the "controls" I would establish for myself that constructed my life. My anxiety was insidious and carried me through much of my developmental years, so I felt like the way I lived and the things I felt were "normal" and everyone felt and lived that way.
I'm much more pleasant and happy these days, with a renewed zest for life (as lame as that may sound), but I don't know what I actually "like" doing or what goals I want to achieve because basically I've spent the past twelve years shying away from anything that may make me feel anxious or uneasy. If it matters, I already have a spouse (who is wonderful), own a home, have a career, etc., so I don't need general life advice about the major things. I need advice on the more tedious, day-to-day stuff that makes life, well, life. | How to be a person |
t3_37fmnl | relationships | I [19F] just broke up with my boyfriend [19M] of one month because I thought he was cheating | Normally, we would try to meet up once a week or talk on the phone two to three times a week, but during the last two weeks, my boyfriend and I couldn't do either of those due to busy schedules. Once I figured that he would be free again, we planned to meet up a couple times only for him to cancel it at the last minute every time. Then one day, I go on Snapchat and I see that on his Story is a picture of a girl and a beer with a caption along the lines of "beer and bae = perfection". I instantly jumped to conclusions broke up with him that night.
Now I'm kind of regretting my decision. The worst thing is that I didn't even want to confront him about the problem because I thought he was just gonna say a bunch of bullshit to cover his ass up. I thought I would be happy for finally breaking up with him (I've considered dropping him several times before), but now I just miss him and his intimacy.
I feel a bit pathetic that I'm making such a big deal over a relationship that only lasted for about a month. I just feel like I might've ruined something good. | I automatically assumed that my boyfriend was cheating and dropped him. Now I miss and regret breaking up with him because I acted on my emotions. |
t3_3hdc3g | relationships | My [27M] gf [31F] 4 months said she loved me after 2.5 months, I didn't say it back. | We've spent most nights a week together since we met, we never fight, and we share all the same hobbies, to the point where I'm so used to getting to do all the things I like with her that sometimes when I'm with my friends I wish I was at home playing Halo with her. She was even cool about me not saying I loved her, said it didn't matter (at the time).
But now it seems as though that wasn't the case and the closer we get to each other the sadder she feels. She was crying and I tried telling her that its not that I don't love her I just don't know if I'm there yet. I am not someone that throws that word around, I don't want to say it until I know I am ready to completely commit to her.
I know the age gap isn't a huge deal but I feel like being in love with her means I have to be ready for marriage and kids way sooner than if I was with someone that was younger than me.
I guess I felt slightly resentful that I don't get to make this decision in my own time but she has barely responded to my texts over the past two days and when we spoke on the phone yesterday she was distracted and withdrawn, I asked if I could come over that night (I never have to ask her but she was upset so I thought I was being respectful) but she said she didn't know and she'd let me know. She never texted me back. Nothing like this has ever happened and she isn't the type to play mind games.
Part of me is worried that if I can't just tell her I love her I am going to lose the best relationship I've ever had but I have to wonder if she really does love me like she says I shouldn't worry that she is going to end things with me over this.
Advice? | She asked me how I felt about her last week and I told her the truth, I'm not sure I am in love yet, she has gone cold since then and I am afraid I will lose her if I don't tell her what she wants to hear, do I have anything to worry about or am I being paranoid? Should I tell her I love her to keep her happy? |
t3_1p70h5 | relationships | Is he mind-fucking me? Should I run? | 29/F and this is my first post.
Background: 2 1/2 months ago I met a guy (30) who has the qualities to be Mr. Forever. After choosing to remain single for a year and a half since my last long term relationship (2yrs) ended, I met someone who gave me hope. The very first night we went out we hit it off great! Great conversation and definite physical attraction. He had recently been cheated on and lied to by a woman he was dating. I don't think they were very serious, but it affected him.
I decide that for this great guy, I can be patient. I always try to show someone how I like to be treated by treating them the same way. Then I tweak it based on their preferences and experiences. Anyways, the first couple weeks we took it slow. We hung out two or three nights during the week and found activities to do with friends on the weekend. After a few weeks, we started sleeping over at each others houses. This lasted for two weeks, then he got scared and felt like things were moving too fast. I'd cook dinner for him, make sure he had clean clothes for work in the morning, wake up to see him off. I was careful not to be too clingy or serious...After all, this is new and there's no point rushing things.
After 2 weeks of slumber parties (an no sex...his choice not mine) he pulled away. For three weeks now, he has hardly talked to me during the week and had no time. The weekend he'll try to spend a little time with me, but it always involves friends I don't know and activities he wants to do. My thoughts are never a consideration. He said it was a big step for him to introduce me to his friends, and I took the introduction as a compliment (thinking things were moving in the right direction). Now, I feel unwanted and confused. He hasn't touched me in six weeks! I can't figure out if he's broken and needs time or is he using me and leading me on? | He's hot, then cold. Should I give him more time or cut my losses before I get seriously hurt? |
t3_pmoi1 | relationship_advice | morning after- who calls first? | M20 here. so last night i was at a great party and met this girl, 19, call her k. i just chatted with her as we got progressively more drunk, and she made a move to kiss me, so i brought her to an upstairs bedroom away from the main party. we made out for a good 15 minutes, ended up with our shirts and pants off, and right when i was about to go down on her, we both got phone calls and someone started knocking on the door. turns out my buddy orchestrated a cockblock with three other people because they thought that we were violating their morals. I understand where he's coming from- the community at the party doesnt support random hookups. thats not what this post is about- i just want to know how long should it take before me and K talk and or hook up again? should i give her a txt? or email? should i wait for her? | how long should I wait after a random hookup to call this girl? |
t3_lyiz0 | AskReddit | What is the most bad ass thing you've ever done? | When my girlfriend and I were living on the 5th floor of an apartment building, our cat almost ended himself. Our bedroom window didn't have the balcony on the other side; just the five-story plunge. So being the dumb ass he is, the cat leaps from the floor, to the bed and finally flies towards the screen expecting to cling onto the screen. However, the screen pops out and the idiot went with it. Luckily I was standing a few feet from all this action, so I lunged towards the window and pulled him back in by his leg. The screen ended up landing in a tree. If I was a few feet further from the window, he pretty much would have lost all 9 lives in that fall. | > Cat tried to commit suicide; I prevented suicide. |
t3_2y8ivf | relationship_advice | Meeting my LDR For first time! HELP! {M/19} {F/17} | Thank you for taking your time and reading my thread! I would really appreciate your help on this.
Let me tell you about our self, we met on instagrame about 4 months ago, we love each other and kept it strong even tho there were time we will aruge but kept it up! soo ya! anyway we are plannig on meeting in few weeks and i would really appreciate your help/advice in this!.
Ok first of all here are my problems:
Never been in relationship before, was a shy kid in school but not anymore lol so i dont know how i would react to us meeting.
second: i never kissed a girl, sooooooo bit awkward but idk how i'm going to lead the kissing in there lol maybe a peck but idk
we are only going to be there for few hours, so noo not going to bed with her for first time, but i'm sure we will kiss!
What should we do? only got few hours before my departure time maybe a dinner and coffee?
soo advice/help please! thank you for reading! | How should I react of meeting my LDR GF? What can we do while we are together for few hours? |
t3_s86pi | AskReddit | Reddit, what do you know about cage free eggs? | Hey Reddit,
A signature with 700+ students name was put on my desk the other day asking for cage free eggs. Now, all for supporting these intitatives, but we will be going up against Sodexo, who is saying just about everything these students said in terms of cost, ease of switch, etc is plain wrong. I did some google searching, and I found Sodexo has done it elsewhere, but seems to be dragging their feet over the cost issue.
Can anyone at another college campus, or really anywhere for that matter, let me know how you got cage free eggs and how much prices really changed? | How'd you get cage free eggs in your workplace/school dining area and how much did the price change? |
t3_x8ch3 | AskReddit | What's the most randomly insulting thing that you've been called by someone you've never met. | I've been looking for a job for the past couple months so that I can afford to move out of my parents house and pay for next years tuition. Until then I have no money so I get around by bike. Also, being a bit of a dork I carry around a plastic light saber, wear a this awesome hat that looks like something Joseph Stalin would wear, goggles, and frequently a My Little Pony T-shirt. I think it also helps to add that I live in Arizona and have blond shoulder length hair.
Anyways, My friend started dating this girl that I don't know, and she invited me to a party full of people I've never met. I'm mingling and avoiding the alcohol with a cup full of orange fanta. I seem to be doing pretty well; talking to this group of guys and generally being awesome when this girl walks up to me and says "You're that creepy faggot who rides who ride's around on a bike." Not mad at all; just making conversation. I said something to the effect of "yeah, that's me." and blew her off, but I was really offend and kinda hurt. anyway didn't ruin the night. It just kinda threw me off. | I dress weird and ride a bike. A gilr called me "that creepy faggot who rides who ride's a bike." Feels bad man. |
t3_3h5pbh | relationships | [Relationship] I (24F) have been becoming increasingly annoyed with boyfriend (25M) of 3 years porn habits | My boyfriend is loving in almost all aspects of our relationship save for a few hiccups on his side, most of our problems have come from me. Despite his loving nature I can't quite get over his porn habits. Sorry if this comes off as a rant or a ramble. I'm on my phone and formatting may be a bit off.
When we first started dating he had nudes of his ex deep in his phone that I never really cared about, I knew I had to clear out pictures from me and my ex, too, just hadn't gotten around to it (but I have deleted them since and he never saw them). About a year in he screen shot the nudes to move them into a newer folder which made me confront him to delete them and after a bit of hesitation he deleted them and I haven't seen them since. Awesome. The problem now is that since then he's accumulated hundreds of pictures of girls from gone wild, different blogs, AND nudes of girls we know and some of girls he has slept with from their personal social media. It's a big deal to me. Porn is okay, I enjoy porn, too, but 1, I make sure to cover my tracks since he's really sensitive about my interest in other men (I have a history of being a bad partner and have since done everything I can to be the best I can be) and 2, I don't fantasize about anyone else, ever. I don't know what to say anymore to make him realize it's disrespectful to me and really hurting my self esteem. Or am I just being over dramatic like he makes it seem? Sometimes I'll even wake up next to him looking at them and that just makes me irritable and self conscious until he comes onto me again. I don't want to be the crazy girl who controls what porn my boyfriend looks at, but I also REALLY don't feel okay with him masturbating to girls we know and he's slept with. He says he can't help it. So guys, please help me either rationalize my feelings or help me to figure out how to talk to him about it because it's killing my self esteem. | boyfriend who's otherwise pretty nice likes to look at nudie pictures of girls he slept with and refuses to budge. I feel like shit. |
t3_nye1r | AskReddit | Reddit, did I do the right thing? | My friends and I were cruising around and we picked up this guy who says a lot of things that are really racist and homophobic. My other friend, who was driving us, got into it with him and they were calling each other nigger and faggot and shit like that. I really couldn't deal with it, so I got out to pee and when I was done, I called them and told them that I didn't want to be around them and went home. Now that i'm here, i'm not sure if it was the best action I could have taken. What do you think? | I left my friends and went home because they were being racist and homophobic |
t3_2uhyte | tifu | TIFU By TRYING to get a tattoo | This actually happened a few months ago but that doesn't seem to really matter.
After getting robbed for the 5th time I decided it was time to move out of state and start fresh and wanted to commemorate the enjoyable times I had in my home state with a tattoo. I told the artist I wanted the state outline with roots coming out of the bottom on my calf and told her to elaborate if she wanted to do so. I put down my deposit and waited until my appointment.
This would be my first ink so I was pretty nervous about it. Fast forward to appointment day, I go in, on my birthday no less, and wait for the artist to finish up get current appt. While waiting I go ahead and pay for my ink. Also during this time I can't stop shaking and go out to smoke a cigarette. While smoking I find my bladder is about to explode and decide to pee into a bottle in my car. I ended up spraying everywhere and have to call the shop on my way home with some bull excuse. I get home, change pants, and go back to the parlor for my ink.
I finally get seated and she shows me the sketch. It's the state outline with a tree inside of it, not what I really wanted but it's still pretty rad. As she starts shaving the back of my leg she nicks me 5 times, I'm not so good around blood so I start shaking a bit. I keep my shit together and she puts on the stencil which looked pretty cool. I'm still pretty queasy and another artist notices and stops the job until I come out of my slump.
I thought I was good to go and said let's get started and as soon as the needle starts going, before contact, I pass out. Not cool, not cool at all. I end up getting a new appointment set a few days later and leave after an hour of being that guy that can't handle himself in a tattoo shop full of people. Great birthday happening right? Anyway, I didn't even go back to the shop for the follow up because of embarrassment and lost over $350 because I was an idiot and paid up front and became the shops pussy of the year. | went for ink on bday, pissed on myself outside, went home changed, came back and passed out before needle contact. Fml |
t3_31o45e | relationships | Me [30 M] with my GF [30 F] of 6 months, need courage to speak my feelings tonight | Hi everybody. Tonight I plan on having a talk with my SO about our long-term sustainability as a couple, particularly my worries about it. I want to express that I've felt undesired, due to a lack of affection and expression from her (she is very stoic), and that I worry about how different we are. I've never dated anybody so different from me, and it's turned out more difficult than I thought it would be (barely any shared interests, parallel senses of humor, different wavelengths about how we experience the world).
I just need courage right now. I'm very bad at being up front and tactful when expressing negative emotions. Withholding my feelings has historically gotten me into worse trouble in the past, and I feel like I need to say some things. | I want to express some negative feelings about our relationship tonight, but I'm scared. I'm just looking for some courage, in whatever form you've got. |
t3_3utbj6 | relationships | I [26 M] male interested in remaining friends with my [25 F] ex's friends. Is this possible | My girlfriend of 7 months recently broke up with me. Over the course of my relationship with her, I found myself bonding with her friends when we hung out as a group. It has proven to be an enormous positive influence on my life. I was hoping to continue being friends with them after the breakup.
Her friends have pointed out that they liked me the most out of all her recent boyfriends. I am unsure if it is possible for them to look past this. They have always made an effort to make me feel welcome but it is possible that they did this for her.
Looking at my relationship with my ex gf, I am sceptical that it will be easy to be friends with her in the next couple of months. | Got dumped by my ex gf. Would like to maintain the friends i have earned through the relationship. Is this possible? |
t3_xlpuq | relationship_advice | If I leave him, he loses his job. | My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. He works for my family farm and makes great money. At the start of summer, he started the process of restoring his old pickup for about $4,000. Now, I want to break up with him but I don't know if it would be too heartless because he would lose his job. I, on the other hand, make less than half as much money as he does and he mocks it all the time. Is it worth staying with him just so my family won't lose the farmhand and he has an income? I don't even like being around him anymore but I don't want him to suffer. What should I do? | If I dump my bf, he goes broke. |
t3_3d02lg | relationships | A guy [26M] I've [23F] been seeing for a few months now silent after a few weeks? | I've been seeing a guy [26M] for about the past two months, and now all of a sudden I just haven't heard from him, even when I've initiated conversation. We've gone on a few dates, and have talked a lot since we first met each other and have gotten pretty close. I left to go out of the country for about two weeks three weeks ago, and I told him my phone wouldn't work, we decided that FB message would be a good alternative to communicating when I could be in wifi range. Prior to me leaving he saw me off, and we talked nonstop the week before (he was away at home because it was his break). I sent him a FB message a few days after I left and it took him over a week to respond and when I replied back I never got a response. I finally got back into the country last weekend and sent him a text a few days after I was back, and we've chatted a little bit but not as much before I left, as in sometimes days go by without a response to my messages, and now I'm just not sure what it means.
I know I might be overthinking a lot of it, but it never took him days to respond to my messages before, and now it is. I also know that he's not busy all the time because of social media feeds and stuff that pop up on my newsfeed, and even though I'm not really searching for it, it hurst a little bit because I know he's partly ignoring my messages. I guess I feel like if you've been seeing someone for that period of time there's really no reason to give someone the silent treatment without an explanation. Maybe I'm overthinking it too but if a guy was interested in someone wouldn't they be wanting to talk to them? I know that I was on a trip and he probably just wanted to give me space or whatever and not bother me, but it's hard to go from talking to someone every 30 minutes to every week. It's just driving me insane and now I'm not sure what to do anymore. Is it unreasonable to seem that I should have some kind of explanation even if he's not interested in me anymore? | Not getting responses from a guy, unsure what it means/what to do |
t3_17keyv | AskReddit | Suggestions and advice, please. I'm in the market for a tablet, but have never used one. | Forgive me for x-posting here. I asked first in /r/mobile and received zero response and /r/technology doesn't allow text posts.
I've been a PC user for many years, but have fallen behind the curve a bit. I'd like to get a tablet, but I have not kept up on what is best and why. Normally, I'd just start reading and research, but I got a bug up my ass and this once just decided to jump in the deep end first.
Defining points and criteria in no particular order:
1. I'm in the PC camp and have never really used any Apple products, but I have no problem getting one if that is the best choice.
2. This is personal use and not work.
3. Uses will mainly be: e-mail, surfing, Reddit of course, watching moves, music, etc. Discovery may take me further, but that's what this is about anyway.
4. I'd like to use it for e-books, or is that just Kindle, Nook, etc. ?
5. I might play some games, but that isn't a primary for me. I like Sodoku and crosswords, but I'm not an Angry Birds/Foursquare person. Also, I got off World of Warcrack long ago.
6. If a new line is expected, I have no problem waiting a couple months
7. Up to 4 figures, money isn't a concern, though I tend to despise reoccurring fee's
8. I do not use a smart phone.
I really appreciate any advice or suggestions, and I apologize in advance for being a tablet noob. | What's the best Tablet for a Tablet noob that is reasonably PC savvy ? |
t3_woyvf | offmychest | I have been in a very committed relationship for over a year but lately have been feeling trapped and don't know what to do. | I am 19 years old and female, my boyfriend is 20 years old. We have been together a bit over a year, and are in a very stable, loving relationship, and are extremely compatible. We don't fight too often, never badly, and the only large problem that faces us is my severe depression and anxiety.
Lately I have been feeling like I'm trapped, even though I know I'm not. I keep looking for things in my relationship to dislike (things I have found are petty, eg. He doesn't say he loves me first, he won't initiate sex, he doesn't compliment me as much as he used to) and I know they're only small, but they bother me. Because of these things, I've been looking for attention in other places, smiling at strangers, trying to get them to notice me, look at me, just so I can feel something. I would never cheat on my boyfriend, ever, but I feel like even just doing those little things is betrayal enough, and that's making me hate myself even more.
Due to my depression, I have a history of thinking that my partners are too good for me and I don't deserve them, and this is the case with my SO. Every time I'm in a bad place, I try to push him away, and I think that the things I've been thinking about might be related to that.
Even though I would love advice, I know a lot of people would just tell me to talk to my SO when faced with this problem, but I don't feel comfortable with that right now. I really just want to know if anyone else has ever felt anything like this, and what they've done to help deal with it. Please, anyone. I just want to not feel so alone. | I have depression and anxiety, am feeling trapped in a loving relationship which I don't feel I deserve, and have been looking to strangers to make myself feel anything (but not cheating). |
t3_10s4wf | relationships | My [F28] Mother-In-Law [F55] pierced my daughter's ears without permission. Am I overreacting? | I've been married for ~4 years and am the mother of a 8 month old daughter, Annie. I'm a first time mother but I don't think I'm overly paranoid or anything.
Last Friday, MIL asked if she could pick up Annie early from day care so she could spend time with her. I said sure. This isn't the first time she's done that and it's never been a problem.
In the evening I go to pick up my daughter from her house and notice her ears are pierced. I ask my MIL why she thought that it was okay to do that without my permission. She had asked about earrings in the past and I had told her that I wasn't going to put my baby in pain for something cosmetic. Also I think babies look weird with earrings.
She said I should thank her, because I didn't see my baby in pain. Apparently my baby's pain only exists when I'm there to see it. I told her she had absolutely no right to go against my feelings on the matter.
She said because I told her she could pick my daughter up from day care, I was trusting her to make the decisions and this is the one she made. I was further enraged when I found out my daughter's ears had been pierced at some cheap jewelry store in the mall. If I were going to pierce her ears, I'd have taken her to somewhere with professional piercers.
When I told my husband about it, he was furious with his mother. He called her to tell her so and she said that I was turning him against her. He told her that he was removing her from the list of approved pick-up people at Annie's day care because he didn't trust Annie with her anymore.
My MIL sent me a half-assed apology on FB saying she still wants to spend time with Annie and didn't expect me to have such a dramatic reaction.
I don't know what to do. I'd hate to start a family feud, but I really don't trust her with my daughter anymore. | My MIL pierced my baby's ears without permission |
t3_1jtm83 | GetMotivated | I'm About To Fail Out Of School | I went to high school and was lazy and unmotivated but smart enough to understand all the material in my classes without having to do much besides attend class at all- with one exception, AP Calculus, which I ended up dropping.
When I got in to the engineering program at my school, I continued with this lack of study habits. I barely scraped by through the lower division major, and now as I was about to finish undergrad, my last two quarters in winter and spring were horrendous, sending me just to below a 2.0 GPA in upper division classes and academic suspension.
This summer, I need a 3.0 to get readmitted to school. However, I still have the same characteristic lack of studying. I finished the 8 units that I was planning to take, confident that I was going to finish with around a 3.5, but I'm finding that I might still be short and have to take another class to make up for it in these last weeks of summer.
After some reading online about academic problems, I think the problem is simply that I'm too lazy, even when I know about the consequences. How do I motivate myself not to screw up the golden ticket that I've all been handed but seem to be throwing away? | Too lazy, even when I know I'm about to fail; how do I change this?* |
t3_jv2tc | AskReddit | There are choking kittens outside my apartment and I don't know what to do. Any help? | My cat was looking outside the window and meowing her little "be my friend!" meow, so I decided to look out and saw a mamma kitty and five kittens. I went outside to try to steal some cuddles, then I noticed something. We live in an apartment complex full of what is basically duplexes, and everyone has a fenced off patio, the cats were ducking into my neighbors patio and coming back out with something to eat.
At first I thought they were eating chunks of meat, but when I looked closer I saw that it was bone. Someone had put a chicken carcass out there and the cats were all choking on the bones.
The thing is you'r not actually supposed to feed animals bones-they can splinter in their throats and kill them. (Theres a reason dog 'bones' are actually rawhide-even most wild animals leave the bone alone.) If it was an adult cat I would just assume she would be fine, but these kittens are really young-bairly old enough to be out exploring in the first place. They should not be eating something that big at all, and certainly not something that had been known to kill fully grown animals.
So, now there are five little baby kitties and one kitty mommy standing in my patio and CHOKING! They are all having a really hard time of it, but they wont let me get close enough to help them, and the carcass is too far back from the fence for me to reach it and pull it out. I put out some normal cat food hoping they will eat that instead, but there have been no takers as of yet. What the hell do I do? I'm really scared of going out there later and finding little dead kittens with bloody throats.
I keep hearing their little coughs, I am seriously freaking out here. | Someone left a chicken carcass outside and a cat family is choking on the bones. |
t3_41dinz | relationships | Me [41F] with my husband [40M] of 1yr work together, dealing with gossip | We are well - known in the workplace having worked in the same department/building until recently. I hear from different coworkers about my husband's behavior. Most of what I hear does not bother me. But it all has certainly turned my radar on, so to speak. Where there is smoke, there is fire kinda thing. But recently, someone I do not know but knows my husband stated to me that my husband is gay and our marriage is a front. This bothers me because my husband cheated on his first wife with men and trannies. The sexual aspect doesn't bother me. It's the fact that someone I do not know said my marriage is a fraud. My husband is aware of thisyesterday incident and told me that person was just messing with me after we ran into him at Walmart yesterday. But I can't help but wonder... Is that person a past lover? Is my marriage a front? | Workplace gossip is getting to me and affecting my marriage. How do I handle this? |
t3_30zn8h | tifu | TIFU by getting pink eye | So me and my girlfriend were on a date and decided to have extended time. We go to my place, pop a couple drinks and get drunk. At this point,we're already having sex and I like to try new things with my girlfriend. So I decided to eat her ass after eating her pussy out. After I was done. This is where the FU part, to her, she thought it was funny to fart in my face. At this point, I didn't care and I thought it was funny. In the morning however, I had a lot of crust in my eye and it was red, meaning it was pink eye. | Eats ass, gets pink eye. |
t3_26b4od | pettyrevenge | Steal my subway will you? Take a 7Up to the face. | So its right around exam period at my university in the north of Scotland and as you may or may not be aware, there is a plague of flying rodents in our country, that have become increasingly evil and large, due to the abundance of children leaving food around to collect at lunchtime. The common seagull is now a terrifying shadow of its former self.
Anyway- yesterday I spent a 6 hour stint in the library working relatively hard and only browsing reddit on occasion. :) I decided to grab a quick lunch from the local subway and sit outside in the sun. Fair enough- I was asking for it, but I figured it was busy enough outside with students that I'd be ok.
A quarter of the way through a glorious meatball sub, I was joined by a flappy devil who sat menacingly on the other side of the bench, staring at my dinner. It watched quietly, and I genuinely thought I might give it a bit if it left me alone.
No chance- as soon as I went for a drink it was wings and feet in my face, which caused me to move my hand away from the sandwich, just long enough for it to grab my beloved meal, and then escape... to a spot literally 3 feet away from me. Chowing down on the sub, it mocked me silently, and everyone stared.
I didn't say a word, and went to walk away, and the rage set in.
I really hope the stickiness of that 7up makes it upset later, I drenched that bird. | i hate seagulls. |
t3_2war44 | relationships | I've [25F] been with my boyfriend [26M] for 5 years, but another guy [31M] has a much better promise of a better future, and I have feelings from him. | To start with: I am a 25 year old student who's been working on becoming an RN for years, and I've been working as an on-call LVN for a good while. I met my boyfriend in an online game 6 years ago and after a year of being friends we just hit it off. He's never been a hard worker, so he does what he needs to do and that's all. He's never been to college and never intends to, and he's been working at a retail store for 2 years now, and hasn't gotten a promotion or a raise, or anything cause he doesn't pursue anything. For those 2 years, we've been in a long distance relationship since I moved away to another state.
Now this new guy (I'll call him Aven to make things easier), I have also met in an online game (I play a lot of MMOs) recently confessed that he has very strong feelings for me. At first I just shrugged him off, being in a relationship, I didn't want to give him the wrong idea. Soon, Aven just started growing on me to the point where I do have feelings for him. Aven works as a Sou Chef at a hotel in a different state as well, but recently got a pay raise, and he always claimed he's been working on his career. At this point, I know if I do pick Aven, he'll be able to support me and whatever family might happen, and all the burden might not fall to just my shoulders, versus my current boyfriend who is too content with his current life, he won't even consider any suggestions about job positions.
I don't want to seem shallow and care about only the money, but in my extended family, a spouse works two jobs because the other doesn't want to work. I always hear the working one complain about pain, being tired, and generally put down their husband/wife for not working and being useless. I don't want that kind of fate. I want to be able to rely on my future husband just in case I become sick or whatever and vise versa. | So basically, I want to know if it's worth breaking up with my boyfriend of 5 years for another man only because of his career path? I love my boyfriend, but his lack of ambition bothers me, and I don't want to be the sole provider of my family because, if something happens to me, we're all screwed. |
t3_1338x3 | dogs | I got my dog a laser pointer to play with. Holy shit what have I done! How can I fix this? | We just adopted Jack [\[pictures\]] is a super energetic 1 year old Doberman Husky Mix. He's so energetic that I can hardly keep up with him [4-6 walks a day]. He showed interest in chasing the light from my flash light, so I got a laser pointer from the dollar store last night. He loved it. He chased after it in the backyard for what it seemed forever. He stopped listening or playing with his toys, he kept running back and forth waiting for it to appear. He didn't follow me inside and instead stayed in the cold doing nothing but walk around and look for the laser. I thought. He nagged [like a husky] after we let him in for longer than usual. I just thought "Oh great, he really likes it".
Tonight I played with it again, tried to tire him so he can calm down and sleep while we're out tonight. Oh no, he kept up. When I let him in he cried and nagged for a lot longer than usual [almost an hour] while breathing heavily and rapidly. He wouldn't let me do anything. I put him in his crate with his fav peanut butter stuffed town and turned off the light hoping he'd get distracted and calm down, but he's still making some low energy crying noise.
I got worried and did a bit of research and realized how bad this could be for some dogs. The long lasting obsessions it creates. Holy crap! What can I do to fix this?
I'm thinking I'll get him a clicker and start clicker training him like I've been wanting to, in hopes he'll forget about the laser. Any other suggestions? | My dog is now overly obsessed with the laser pointer I just got. Is there anything specific I can do to help him get over it? |
t3_kq0m0 | AskReddit | at work, need help w/ adult site? | basically last night I posted some pictures / videos from "footsiebabes.com (a suscribe softcore-ish adult site) on my blog..
Apparently someone flagged it for being pornographic, and what i didn't know was to post porn on the site I have to provide a link to the 2257 (record keeping compliance statement, all models are of age etc) of the original site. He says if i don't comply and post the info of it (Custodian of records of footsiebabes.com) then my blog is getting deleted.. the problem is I'm at work all day today and obviously can't go on an adult site, albeit softcore. | I need someone to go to the site (footsiebabes.com, find the 2257 compliance statement and give me the info / link so I can keep my blog up and running. |
t3_2ir1b7 | relationships | [16 M] I'm Problems talking with a girl[16 F] | Right, we are both in college in the UK which means we are 16-17 for any US readers. I want to start this by saying I've never really had a girlfriend or even really talked to a girl. However, I met this girl in one of my classes who I find very attractive, and she seems like a genuinely nice person. We have barely spoken at all and I don't know anything about her. However, I think she kind of likes me as she is the first girl to actually want to talk to me. She will just say "Hi" when we walk past each other in the hall and stuff like that. Im not sure if she likes me, or is just being nice. However, I am a very shy person and can never hold the conversation. I really want to get to know her, but I am awful at talking to girls and don't really have any confidence. I never know what to say to her or have an interesting conversation with her. Any help is appreciated, I really don't know what to do. | How do I talk to a girl I like? |
t3_2xir8u | relationships | I don't feel like I'm as special to my girlfriend. [21M&19F] | So I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 6 months now but the problem is I just don't feel like I mean as much to her as she does to me. At the beginning of our relationship I caught on that she was prude/had trouble being intimate and I expressed that I would wait until she was ready. Months later when things finally did start to get sexual I found out that she had waited longer to get physical with me than she did in the past two relationships. She is still a virgin, so I could still be special in that regard but idk. (Sorry if that makes me sound immature).
I was hurt when I first heard this because I did everything to make her feel comfortable. I told her I wouldn't let that upset me so I never brought it up again. But to be honest, it still bothers me. Now, also I am about to stay with her parents for the weekend. It made me feel special at first but now I also know that I wasn't the first one to do that, and it also took me longer.
I know that it is slightly ridiculous for me to get hung up on this stuff but my girlfriend isn't a very expressive person to begin with so I, being stupid, base her affection towards me off her actions. Unfortunately it's lead me to be a somewhat insecure and jealous boyfriend, even though I do my best to hide it.
Please help! I don't know how to get over this. | Still not the *first* anything with my girlfriend. Its hard for me to feel special and has led me to overthink and be jealous. |
t3_38p3jq | relationships | How do I(22f) tell my boyfriend (22m) to back off a little? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 10 months. He's an incredible, smart, sexy and caring human being. He treats me incredibly well and makes me so happy.
We get along really well and love hanging out so we tend to see each other 4-5 days a week. I love having sex with him, and he's the only person who really has taken the time to find out what I like. It's always incredible. The problem is he constantly wants to have sex. I almost never initiate because he's constantly initiating. When we first see each other, the first thing he does is say something about what he's going to do to me later. It's getting tiring. I'm actually starting to get anxious because I feel like I'm constantly rejecting him.
We pretty much have sex once a day on the days we see each other but sometimes that's not enough for him. Sometimes I'm too tired and I'm dealing with crohns as well, so I'm plain not in the mood and I feel like I'm disappointing him.
To be fair, he never has outwardly pressured me but he'll do things like pull out his dick in front of me or try and grope me, even though I'm clearly not in the mood. He obviously has a higher sex drive than me, as most of my past boyfriends did, but I never felt bad about rejecting them or pressured. I really am starting to feel pressured to have sex more often and I just don't want to, even if it is nice everytime.
There have been instances where I've said no and he's started masturbating next to me even though I don't want to do any sexual activity.
I'm getting really anxious and it's tiring having to constantly reject him.
I want to make clear this isn't a deal breaker at all. This isn't the be all end all of our relationship. There's several amazing aspects. In the past, I've never communicated with past boyfriends so I have no idea how to do this. I really want to make this work and treat this guy better than past boyfriends.
How do I approach him about this? | Boyfriend is constantly trying to initiate sex and it's making me anxious. How do I talk to him about this? |
t3_4ptkuj | relationships | I am desperate for help PLEASE someone reach out. Is he manipulated me? I've never felt so angry... | Manipulating << correction (I can't edit the typo in title).
I want to start with the title - it pertains to our entire relationship. We fight all the time but we have these talks about how much we want to try and we feel motivated to do good together then it always goes down the drain. It's beyond disappointing...
We fight a lot but have agreed to work on it. Here is an example of how one of many of the fights go:
Last weekend I expressed that I wish instead of spending an hour on his phone in the morning, that he would instead spend some of that time together. We have zero days off together so weekends are the only mornings we can potentially have together.
He finally budged and agreed to put the phone down next time. Today is the first Saturday since and I woke up to him glued to his phone again. I immediately withdrew and got in the shower. When I got out he was still glued. I went in the kitchen and still for another 30 minutes he didn't put his phone down. As I was saying bye he asked what was wrong and instead of him saying sorry or "oh wow I totally spaced!" He fought back saying "well you were in the shower" then "well you seemed pissy already so why would I want to hang out with you?"
It is SO beyond frustrating because I feel that the cycle starts with him being on the phone and he swears he's on the phone cause I'm "pissy". Is he manipulating me to get his way? Advice from this situation would be helpful because he literally does this with every situation. I feel like I'm going crazy, angry at work and I feel devastated that the person I want to spend my time with does this to me. I need help...am I wrong? | I am in a relationship and we never stop fighting. I just need to know if he's manipulating me or if I am asking too much. |
t3_4imdwj | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] 4 years, BORED can't seem to enjoy doing anything with my SO | As stated me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 years. She has been absolutely amazing, she seriously has made me a better person and I love for being able to do that. However, I have not been in love with her for quite some time. We each have little to no friends, and have relied on each others company for the past 3 years (reasons for this are mental illness on both our parts, and were both university students working full time). I have become incredibly bored with the relationship (I know typical LTR stuff), I enjoy doing very little to nothing with her. I of course have not told her this and don't know if I even should. I have felt this way with her many times in the past, the feelings seem to ebb and flow. However I have felt really increasingly bored and not into 'us' for the past 6-8 months (by far the longest time). I dread seeing her and its making it harder and harder for me to get through daily affairs. This sounds horrible and its probably because it is, I feel like a terrible person. I don't know what I'd do without her, since I really have no one else, nor do I really see myself connecting with many people, but I cant really stand being with her. Not sure if I should just wait it out or try new things, I would have a hard time doing either but I obviously need to do something. | Very bored with GF eventhough shes amazing, some typical LTR stuff, need some advice since I have no friends to talk to. |
t3_uc7qn | AskReddit | Got a research position; how much money should I ask for? | Dear Reddit,
I am in need of your advice. I am an international biology student who is about to graduate with a bachelors degree. I got offered a research position from one of the faculty on campus.
I am very interested in the job and am very excited to work with the guy because he has many publications in the area that I am interested it. Problem is, that would be my first official research job and I have no idea what I am worth.
He is asking for a two-year full time commitment and I have no idea what amount of money I should ask for it. The number that was named was about $10/hour, but from my calculations it is only $20,800 without taxes. I didn't think about it at a time and didn't say yes or no.
I am thinking about asking him for a bigger salary but I also understand his position: he is hiring someone without any experience. But from my perspective - I am trying to save money for Graduate School.
Did you have a similar experience? What did you do?
Is $10 a reasonable amount of money for an entry level? Any helpful comments will be highly appreciated! | got a sweet research job - have no idea how much money I should ask for. |
t3_4fudbm | relationships | I [26 M] am always jealous of my girlfriend's past and I think I want to be with a virgin - please help | This will be the first time admitting this but after almost daily internal battles with myself I've realised that I can't stand the idea of whoever I'm with having been with someone else before me/ I'm single but when was recently in a 3-4 year relationship and hurts me almost every night I hung out with them (although it set in after the honeymoon period of the relationship)/ Its stopping me from enjoying relationships and and now I'm single I worry that I'll never grow out of this and there'll be a shadow hanging over all future relationships because its not really reasonable to expect to meet a virgin/ I fear I'll always be bummed out by the idea I didn't take my partner's virginity
I'm on the waiting list for NHS counselling but I wanted to open up about this here because frankly I'm sick of it all swirling around in my head/ Obviously I'm too ashamed to talk to any friends or family about this problem because I expect this desire to be with a virgin would be frowned upon to say the least
The counselling is for depression which I think is related to the current issue by way of the really shitty time I had with my first girlfriend took my virginity before I was ready (technically assault because I did want to have sex but I didn't consent to sex without a condom)/ I ended up with her for three years and I think she cheated on me/ there was a chlamydia scare and stuff/ she also used to self harm a lot and I witnessed some pretty bloody shit/ stuck with her and a few times during miserable arguments with her I remember her saying things like 'you should be with a virgin' and I never wanted to be - its just crept into me and now I cant shake it
Anyone got any words of advice? I want to get better cause I know its not a healthy way to be
Thanks x | Obsession with girlfriend(s) past and wanting to be with a virgin is preventing me from enjoying relationships and occupies my entire mind when I'm single to the point I can't concentrate on work or be happy - please advise |
t3_30uct6 | relationships | Me [22 F] with my ex-boyfriend [22 F] of 6 months, traveling together for ~5 weeks or not? | My ex and I recently broke up due to bad timing and because long-distance was becoming too stressful. I'm also not sure he's the one. However, before we broke up we already planned to travel together for a little over a month. Flights, hotels, everything booked, non-refundable. Right now, I'm debating going alone vs. with him. Going alone means letting the wound of breaking up heal more and is probably less stressful emotionally but more stressful logistically (will have to re-plan everything, take a lot of safety measures as a woman traveling alone, etc.). Going with him will be more emotionally taxing but will probably make me more adventurous and possibly less lonely (I know, I know). He's also just great company, albeit sometimes frustrating. Finally, I'm super tempted to keep him a part of my life since the break-up didn't have to really do with our compatibility, and I know it's naive, but sometimes I hope in the far future we'd work out. Since we live so far apart, this would require actively keeping each other in our lives. But again, might just be deluding myself, since I already don't feel sure about us.
Also, I can't bring anyone else - already tried convincing my friends. | Non-refundable 5 wk trip planned with ex-boyfriend. Broke up due to long distance/timing, not personality, but also not sure he's the one. Still, tempted to keep him in my life. Go alone or go with him? Emotional stress vs. benefits of traveling with someone? |
t3_iegll | AskReddit | So, Toshiba sold me a $900 paperweight... | Apparently, you can't and shouldn't reinstall Windows 7 on a Toshiba laptop. I bought my very first new laptop in late April, a marvelous machine with a 16in screen and premium speakers. About two months in, I decide I want to play Minecraft only to have it constantly crash and leak memory like crazy. After troubleshooting and reinstalling java, I determine I should just reinstall Windows 7. I got a install disk off the internet of Windows 7 premium home (64bit), wiped the drive, and installed with no problems.. Only to have the chipset and graphics drivers refuse to install no matter what. I got escalated up to 2nd tier Toshiba customer service and they couldn't help me. I was told by a CS rep named Stephen Barranda (Or something like that) that I could call the next day between 8-5 EST and get a case manager, who might be able to give me a free disk.
So the next day I call, and after waiting a half hour on hold, I get a hold of a Toshiba case manager. She informs me that the CS rep I spoke to had incorrect information and I can't get a free disk. She tells me I should have used the recovery partition (that I never knew was there, I came straight from Windows XP to Windows 7) and that for a $25 "shipping and handling" fee, I could get a recovery disk. Except, there's nothing to recover!! The disk is completely wiped. I saw the extra partitions during the install, didn't know what they were, and wiped them. | No Windows 7 install disk will work properly with the Toshiba drivers. Toshiba refuses to send me an INSTALL disk for their special Windows 7 OEM version that my laptop needs. I'm stuck between a useless laptop and a hard place. |
t3_31dap0 | tifu | TIFU by taking a quiz in French class | Okay, here we go. This actually did happen today, in French class.
The other day we took a simple little 10 word vocabulary quiz, and we got it back graded today. It was pretty easy. I knew all the words, but I obviously didn't know how to spell some of them.
Our unit is on foods and cooking, so one of the words on the quiz was "Seafood". Now, seafood in French is "les fruits de mer", fruits of the sea. I got half a point off for that word, and I saw that I wrote down "les fruits de mère", with the accent and everything.
And that, um... That means fruits of mom. FRUITS OF MOM, GUYS.
God why.
My teacher didn't say anything about it, but... Geez, guys. | My mother's fruits do not come from the sea. |
t3_4o9uz1 | relationships | How do you know if your hookup starts to have feelings for you? | I just started hooking up with a friend I've made recently. We met each other at work, and we just instantly hit it off. We even met each other a couple of times to hang out and it's been a lot of fun. So one day we got drunk and one thing led to another. The first time we had sex he was really intimate, but I don't know if it means anything. Because I don't want to fall for him but I think I might.
These are the things he does which makes me wonder if he has started to develop feelings-
1) He texts me constantly everyday. He will make an effort to ask me what I'm doing a couple of times a day.
2) He always makes sure I'm safe when I'm traveling alone. He'll go out of his way to make sure that I'm okay.
3) After the first time we had sex, I stayed over at his place for 12 hours and he even called in sick to spend more time with me.
He cuddled and kissed me affectionately in a nonsexual way (kiss my forehead or cheeks) throughout the whole night.
4) He wants to know about my past even if I feel reluctant to tell him.
BUT
He also says stuff like- I like the chase more than anything (referring to having sex with someone)
After we had sex, he seems to act more inquisitive about my personal life and hasn't pushed to meet again. Like even though I think this is mostly about the sex, he doesn't really acknowledge that much.
I've also heard a lot of rumors about him dating other girls but he's denied it and there's actually no proof about it either. | So is he just a really nice guy that probably does this to a bunch of girls or does he like me? |
t3_u2077 | GetMotivated | Oppositional thoughts | These are thoughts which compete... They may be your own competing priorities, they may be memes competing for attention, they may be breakfast competing with the gym.
Eliminate them.
The quickest way to create oppositional thoughts is to check your email or todo list (or facebook/reddit if you're still there) when you first wake up. The clean state of a fresh mind is something to be valued. It will get cluttered through the day, you don't have to worry about manually filling it with conflicted thoughts and internal conflict. Put a reminder on your wall to go for that run... do that workout... Let this be your thought.
The quickest way to maintain competing thoughts is to check memes. Unfocused media like (most of) Reddit, the TV, facebook, the news etc are scattering and scrambling your thoughts.
This may be familiar to you:
You know what they call someone without oppositional thoughts? Focused.
And someone wrought by oppositional thoughts, internal conflict and indecision? Procrastinator. | When it comes to your mind, you get out what you put in. Focused content yeilds focused action. Scattered, oppositional content yeilds scattered oppositional action. |
t3_2pjlij | relationships | My (20f) boyfriend's (23m) friend just died, how do I help? | My boyfriend is incredibly sensitive, thoughtful, wonderful, and has a huge heart.
Today one of his best friends moved across the country and another one died of a heroin overdose after being clean for a long time.
How do I comfort him? I've already told him not to worry about meals or laundry or anything going on with me. He's just asked for hugs. I've told him that I don't have words for his loss and how sorry I am. How do I support him now? He has struggled with drug issues in the past and expressed an instinctual desire to hit up his dealer but hasn't as far as I know. | boyfriend is going through a really hard time. How do I comfort him? |
t3_e1nz7 | AskReddit | i live in a country other than my home, make a respectable salary doing a job i absolutely love, and have not a worry in the world until i describe my life to others from back home; i seem to the the only one that isnt concerned... | heres the full story:
im 33 at the end of the month, have a kid on the way, and im a kindergarten teacher in japan. (for those who know the system, im not an english teacher, and im not a dispatch, im an actual teacher at an actual private japanese kindergarten).
anyway, i love the job and its smiles all day any day.
that being said, its essentially a dead end, as there will come a time when i can no longer do the job, and theres no retirement plan, etc, as they normally deal with short termers. this doesnt bother me.
my 50k a year that will probably never go up again also doesnt bother me.
what bothers me is that when i talk to the panicky types back home, i get all sorts of hypothetical situations that could RUIN MY LIFE, despite the fact that im doing great. the consensus seems to be that i should be doing MORE with my talents. honestly speaking though, would you rather be doing silly dances with 3 year olds playing sing-a-longs on piano and guitar, walking home full of smiles, and spending your free time on chess and open source, or creating graphs that somewhat fit together with whatever it is your boss is blurting at clients lately?
is anyone else "gainfully AND happily under-employed"? | my family and friends on the other side of the world think i should be "successful"; to which i can only respond "i already am". |
t3_14iqpr | AskReddit | Parking officials of reddit, how can I fight (and win) a parking ticket? | On the street in LA where I live there are a few blocks of 4 hour parking from 8am to 6pm. This morning I got up and dropped someone off a couple blocks away at 11:30 in the morning. I then returned at parked around 5 minutes later on the same side of the street but a block up. I was issued a parking ticket at 1:52. Clearly not 4 hours after I parked there.
I don't think my tires were marked, or if they were I can't see it. So I'm not sure how they thought I was there over 4 hours...
Meanwhile my roommate forgot to move her car and didn't get a ticket on the same street.
How do I fight this? | I got a parking ticket in LA for parking somewhere for over 4 hours though I had only been parked in the spot for 2.5 hours. How do I fight it? |
t3_1usc8x | relationships | I [23F] feel like I'm a surrogate girlfriend to my friend [29M]. | I've known this guy for a few years and for the first couple we lived far away from each other so it was just texting and emailing with occasional visits. After one of these visits he said he had feelings for me and I said I didn't feel the same. Things were weird for about a week but then got back to normal. A few months later he moved to my city for work. He's my best friend so I was super excited, and visited him a lot. I liked being able to hang out with him so much but he does things that make me feel uncomfortable. For example, he touches me like you would a girlfriend. He's always stroking my leg or rubbing my back or whatever. I called him out on it and he got annoyed and said that's just how he is. I said ok, and just kept letting him do it. Which was a big mistake, but I have severe anxiety and didn't want to get into a fight because I didn't want to upset him because I've upset him like that before and felt so so awful... I thought just putting up with it would be easier and that he might stop. I also generally don't like human contact so thought that maybe it was my issue, not his, and that I'd get over it or that he'd stop. But 4 months later it hasn't stopped (surprise surprise... I was so stupid) and I'm starting to feel really anxious about the whole thing. I feel like it's my fault I wasn't forceful enough to make him stop ages ago. Should've nipped it in the bud. But it made me so anxious and I just couldn't deal with it. Dumb. So dumb. So now... I don't know what I want. I want him to get a girlfriend so he won't be so reliant on me. I want to be able to just casually tell him and for him to not get terribly offended and upset. I want to go back in time and just tell him outright. I want somebody to tell me that this is everyone's fault but mine. I'm nearly in tears just thinking about it. What should I do? How can I tell him? | Friend treats me like a surrogate girlfriend and I wasn't to tell him to stop without offending him or giving myself an anxiety attack. I don't want to lose him but want this to stop. |
t3_4mpmgh | relationships | I [17M] have a crush on my friend [17F] and was planning on asking her out, but I am unconfident she will say yes. | This is probably going to sound pretty lame, but here goes. So I have been friends with this girl for a long time, but only within the last year did I get really close. She is graduating high school next year, while I have one more year.
For the past year, I have considered her one of my best friends. We have hung out together a few times, and she even asked me to prom (as friends I guess). I'm kind of stupid about emotions, so I only realized that I was in love with her a few weeks before she graduated, and I was planning to ask her out after graduation.
A few days after graduation, I learned that she had dated (and broke up with two days later) a mutual friend of ours, [17M] (who isn't a very close friend to me). Now I'm second-guessing everything and realizing everything I thought was a 'hint', was just wishful thinking (I mean come on, asking someone to the prom is a huge fucking 'hint'). I just don't know what to do right now.
So should I tell her how I feel anyway just for closure about the whole thing? Is it even worth it to pursue a relationship if she is going to college next year and leaving me? Either way, I want to make sure I don't fuck things up, because I wouldn't want to lose one of my best friends. I feel like I've already lost her, because I (probably) can't be with her romantically, and it's painful to be around her right now. If you guys think it's hopeless, I will need help trying to lose my feelings for her. | Crush who I thought maybe liked me went out with someone else. |
t3_2f56qe | relationships | I (24f) am suddenly thinking alot about my old boyfriend (28m), why? | Maybe you guys can help me figure this out. This guy and I broke up over 3 years ago. It was a very intense relationship that ended up being shitty, abusive and sad. I have a new boyfriend, approaching a year who is absolutely amazing and I love him dearly. The problem is that lately i can't stop thinking about my ex. I don't want to hook up with him or anything, I am just wondering where he is at and what he is doing. I think I am kind of anticipating when I will see him walking down the street, or something.
I am trying to make sense of why he is suddenly invading my thoughts again. There wasn't much closure and the relationship ended really badly. He got very violent and I had to abandon our apartment and stay with a friend, it was an emergency situation which was complete and utter shyte. All that aside, there was always something intensely good between us, but I think that was just his hold on me and not so much anything special or unique, I just don't know. There was a lot about this person that mirrored many aspects of a sociopath. He only ever apologized when the situation was threatening to his livelihood, he could never accept blame and was/is an avid drinker/drug user. He really had me wrapped around his finger. I wouldn't consider him very "successful" in a stereotypical way however he somehow acquires things and people just cough up their goodies to him all the time. He is also very foxy.
I'm really annoyed and guilty that he's back in my mind, I haven't really thought of him for a long time. What's going on here? How should I deal with this and get him out of my head again. Whenever I think about him it makes me anxious. | I am suddenly thinking of my shitty ex, and I need help understanding why and how to make it stop. Thank you. |
t3_2xjzid | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] are together for about 3 years. I want to plan a romantic evening | Hello redditors!
So my girlfriend and I had a few fights lately and I even thought about breaking up, even tho we moved in together since about a year now.
So we sat down and talked about our problems and got a really good solution. One of the problems was that I was currently about 3 months unemployed and that made me crazy... I was angry and sometimes even insulting. Her problem was related to work too, because she started a new one recently and so she put her full attention into it and completly forgot about me.
Now that I have a job again and work aborad (I'm not at home from monday to tuesday) it's much simpler because we don't spend that much time with each other and everyone has their freetime, and if we spend time together (weekends and friday) it's much more fun and not as boring as just sitting in front of the TV.
Sooo.. to my question:
I was an asshole when I was unemployed and I really feel sorry for it. So i thought about making her a beautiful evening for her. She is currently at her parents so I have the whole day to work on it.
I wrote down some ideas but I'm not quite satisfied because it's nothing special:
1. She loves to bath, so I wanted to make it a little bit romantic by adding roses and candles (yes... call me cheesy and old fashioned but she loves that)
2. While she is in bath I will cook something for her (her favorite meal)
3. After that i wanted to put some blankets on the floor in front of the TV and watch her favorite movie while drinking wine (she loves that too)
4. Put candles everywere in the room.
I know it's quite boring, but i hope you can help me out.. What are some good ideas to make a girl happy? Maybe the women on here can give me a few tips. | Romantical things to do for your girlfriend? |
t3_1nvw61 | relationships | [21 F] I used to be engaged, but not anymore! When should I, if ever, bring this up to new women in my life? | Pretty self explanatory! I value transparency in my relationships and would hate to accidentally deceive someone, but I have no idea when or if to bring this up. On one hand, hey, the other person would probably want to know about my romantic past. On the other hand, it's kinda none of their business whether I was engaged/serious in those relationships or not.
I'm young and haven't done the dating post-srs-relationship thing before! HAAAALP
And before the "lol engaged at 20/21 u dum kid" brigade comes in: it was serious, we were together for a year before there was even talk of getting engaged, we lived together, and we separated due to unrelated stuff/life getting in the way. | was engaged: to tell or not to tell? Tell me your thoughts! |
t3_2mo7h7 | dating_advice | Not sure what to do at this point, | So last week I asked a girl from class to go to dinner with me. We got coffee together everyday that week after class and then on Saturday we went out to dinner and then back to my place to watch a movie. It was at this point that things got uncomfortable. I was trying to read her body language to determine what she did and didn't want to do and she wasn't giving me anything. She just sat there with her hands in her lap. We still talked throughout the movie and laughed and made jokes but I just kept waiting for her to give me the OK to take her hand or put my arm around her or something. After the movie it was pretty late so I took her home. She said she had a good time and wanted to plan out another date, but now when I'm around her I feel like there is a tenseness that wasn't there before our date on Saturday. Does anyone know what might be going on or what I could do to fix this? This is the first girl I've been interested in in some time and I don't want to mess it up but I feel like there might be some confusion as to what is happening between us. Should I just talk to her about it, or is it too early to have that conversation? Sorry if I rambled at all, I just don't know what to do. | Went to dinner and a movie, girl gave me no physical cues whatsoever but still seems to like being around me. Is it too early to talk about what our expectations are? |
t3_1ahkj6 | loseit | Do you like to tell everyone what your plan is? | I am starting a biggest loser challenge at work. I needed some incentive as I've watched my weight creep up and haven't done anything about it. I used to always tell friends and family that I was trying to lose weight, and always have had negative feedback. "you don't need to lose weight" "just eat in moderation" "you can make an exception this one time" etc. I stopped telling people what I was trying to do and I think it backfired. I'm now as big as I have ever been. I really want to make things stick this time, but I know I need support from people I'm close to. | What are some good methods to inform people that you are changing your ways? |
t3_2xixio | relationships | I don't feel as special to my girlfriend [21M&20F] | So I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 6 months now but the problem is I just don't feel like I mean as much to her as she does to me. At the beginning of our relationship I caught on that she was prude/had trouble being intimate and I expressed that I would wait until she was ready. Months later when things finally did start to get sexual I found out that she had waited longer to get physical with me than she did in the past two relationships. She is still a virgin, so I could still be special in that regard but idk. (Sorry if that makes me sound immature).
I was hurt when I first heard this because I did everything to make her feel comfortable. I told her I wouldn't let that upset me so I never brought it up again. But to be honest, it still bothers me. Now, also I am about to stay with her parents for the weekend. It made me feel special at first but now I also know that I wasn't the first one to do that, and it also took me longer.
I know that it is slightly ridiculous for me to get hung up on this stuff but my girlfriend isn't a very expressive person to begin with so I, being stupid, base her affection towards me off her actions. Unfortunately it's lead me to be a somewhat insecure and jealous boyfriend, even though I do my best to hide it.
Please help! I don't know how to get over this. | Still not the first anything with my girlfriend. Its hard for me to feel special and has led me to overthink and be jealous. |
t3_1s7peq | relationships | Me [24 F] my Ex [26 M] it's been a couple years since the breakup but he still holds so much power over me. I'm in my room in tears .. I don't understand why I'm so weak when it comes to this one person and how I can change so that I don't. | I'm weak, absolutely pathetic when it comes to my ex. He was the closest person to me in my life, after the breakup we remained friends. I struggle, get emotional and all that stuff, he's totally fine of course. I don't let my emotions affect or even show themselves in our conversations. It hurts so much being treated like an acquaintance sometimes. I don't know what to do. Sometimes he makes me feel so important to him, he'll tell me how important I am, other times he's ignoring me and just disappears for awhile. I buy into it always, then feel like shit when he deserts me. Its a neverending cycle. Help... | my ex has the power to make me feel as high as the sky and as low as the dirt under our feet. I don't want him to have this power, help me find my way out please .. I know this is something I have to overcome myself and I am not expecting him to change. Just me.. |
t3_44dt7a | relationships | Me [27 F] with my touring musician BF [27 M], together 4 years, gets upset when I ask him for details on where he is sleeping on his touring nights | He tours every few months, taking one long 5 week trip once a year and 4-5 day long ones every other month.
He is a one man band and tours alone, but has friends in the cities he visits.
Whenever I ask him for details about where he is staying, for example at a hotel or at some random person's place (like the promoter, who could be female or male, for example) he gets really annoyed. He hardly gives me details, and usually says he doesn't care and that the people putting on the show have it covered.
However, obviously I care. It matters to me if he stays with another woman for obvious reasons. There are groupies and also lots of drinking and maybe even drugs involved for all I know? If tables were turned he would definitely not be okay with me staying with a man as he is very over protective and jealous.
Whenever I ask him just for a simple answer where (hotel or John's couch is enough to make me happy) he literally tells me that he is sick of me not trusting him and to fuck off. Recently when I said it's important to me because I don't want you to board with a random woman, he said "why? Because I'd fuck her?" suggesting to me that he is already defending the possibility. (Would you be okay with your partner sleeping at the place of a random person of the opposite sex after a very late night of drinking?)
Am I overreacting? I trust him but I don't trust the situation, when groupies are involved and late nights of drinking and whatever else.
Someone help please. | Me [27 F] with my touring musician BF [27 M], together 4 years, gets upset when I ask him for details on where he is sleeping on his touring nights |
t3_ffm0h | AskReddit | I don't know what to do. My wife doesn't have medical insurance. | About a month ago my wife found a lump in her breast. We immediately went to the doctor and she was then sent on to have a mammogram and ultrasound done. Fortunately the hospital provided charity assistance to help cover the cost of the two tests. However, since she's only 22 the mammogram and ultrasound did not find anything due to her breasts being too dense. The doctor then suggested she talk to a surgeon to perform a needle biopsy and perhaps remove the lump. This is where the problem begins. Without insurance we have no chance of affording the cost. I'm a full time student and she's working as a mental health worker with no benefits to pay our rent. She has a bachelors of nursing from Australia and has been working towards her licensing here in the United States for 6months now but it's going to be delayed even further due to CGFNS(people who equate foreign Nursings degrees) needing additional theory and clinical hours in maternal/child which isn't required to be an RN in Australia. So we're talking 4-5months already for her to finally get her license for her to be a full time RN thus health insured.
I really don't know what to do. If she has cancer putting this off could be a death sentence but we don't have the money, not even to return her to Australia in hopes of getting treatment there. I can't even sleep at night because I'm terrified of the thought of losing her. She is everything to me. If theres any advice reddit can give us it would be greatly appreciated. | My wife has a lump in her breast. Mammogram/ultrasound not effective. Don't have money or insurance for biopsy and won't for 4-5months. Need advice. |
t3_nkocc | AskReddit | I messed up. I'm not a violent person. I hope a lawyer reads this, I need advice... | OK so here's the deal. I moved accross the country to make my family whole again (ie my sons father be with my son and I). I have a really hard past, like family situations extra. I got drunk with my fathers son / boyfriend, we got into an argument. I freaked out thinking things would be like old times and how I can't function alone again, worse I would be stuck in a new state with no friends whatsoever. I wanted to leave the house. Also I was black out drunk. I went on a kick about how they would better without me and wanted to kill myself. My boyfriend sat down on top of me started screaming at me to hurt him and not me. I scratched him up pretty bad. In the end he called the police "to scare me out of killing myself " itvwas even an accident when he called.
They came took pics of him and none of me. I have quite a few bruises too. They arrested me while he begged them not to. He bailed me out of jail. I have court (no matter what he does) this week. They won't tell me how to get a public defender, or even confirm that I get one.
I'm not a bad person. I have never even been in a fight. I dedicate myself to my son. I am so scared. I don't know what to do. Neither of us want what's going on. I know if they would send me to a therapist he would say I just had a bad night that was made worse by being restrained. I don't want to go to jail. All I wanted was to be a family for Christmas and I messed up. I need advice. | I scratched up my boyfriend. I was arrested. He bailed me out. I have court and feel like I'm about to get jewed. How do I defend myself? |
t3_3jo1bf | relationships | Me [24 F] with my partner [24 M] of 4 years, I am converting to Judaism but just found out he is not halachically Jewish and so it's still intermarriage... | I have known my partner for 5 years, dating for 4, and have been considering a conversion to Judaism for about that long.
He was raised in a reform synagogue and has always pretty much been planning on staying with the reform movement, but I have been talking with a conservative rabbi about conversion because I felt more at home in that particular shul than the local reform shul. I want to make it clear that I was never planning on converting "for" my partner - we met after I had already begun exploring Judaism.
I just got off the phone with his mother who specifically called to try to bully me into returni ng to working with the reform rabbi instead. I very calmly explained that I felt more comfortable with this particular conservative rabbi and that even if we one day wind up being members at a reform synagogue, this was the conversion experience I wanted. After a good bit of skirting the issue and bwing vague, she finally informed me that she doesn't want me to convert in the Conservative movement because then I can't marry her son because he isn't halachically Jewish. She apparently never formally converted, and outside of the Reform movement, having a non-Jewish mother makes one also not-jewish.
I'm at a bit of a loss and a bit hurt that his family didn't just come right out with this instead of simply discouraging me from taking an interest in the conservative movement. He knows she never converted, I confirmed that with her, and he never said it either, just tried to steer me conservative.
I am thinking of asking him to convert wit me. I think that is genuinely the best solution. I really like the conservative rabbi, I like the community, and that's honestly a level of observance I would want in my life, more so than reform. It would be a relatively simple process for him, mainly a formality, since he was raised Jewishly. Is that a reasonable request?
I don't want to end up converting only to find myself unable to be married to the man I love in the eyes of my new religion. | I am converting to Judaism. Found out the man I am marrying isn't technically Jewish, according to Jewish law, despite being raised Jewishly. Should I/how can I convince him to undergo formal conversion with me in order to ensure that we are not technically intermarrying, and is that even a reasonable request? |
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