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t3_2h4emj | relationship_advice | [28/M] being forced to move in with a [25/F]? | So we have been together for a decent amount of time 4+ yrs (we both dont really have a number we both agree on) but the whole relationship is just going downhill. We both want to be together ( I guess?) but don't see how we can be comfortable with each other. She has become unattractive and doesn't meet my list of things I want anymore. We know this because I made a list to see what she would change because she wanted to make me happy and so I made the list to show her what she could do that per her request. On her side, she wants more intimacy, a family, to get married to have me around all the time, and to be wanted. She said she isn't getting any of that, but I am not prepared for any of this, so the ultimatum came in. It was basically to move in together, and I am very against it but she is very for it, and said for years she has been doing what I wanted (not having kids before marriage, not being married yet, or not living with each other) and that I still cant be happy about it. IMO I couldn't be happy because its a complaint about all of those and then some almost everyday. So I gave in and said lets do this since this is the only thing we have left to try. We have done counseling, books (love languages) and etc and nothing really worked. So basically at the last straw here. So basically I have to downgrade my living arrangements for her and hope to still be happy albeit all of the incoming complaints about no baby or marriage yet (marriage is pending, only a few months out). | I have to move in with my gf, to see if we can survive this downhill relationship long enough to get married. |
t3_1i8tl4 | relationships | [27M] Dating: "Playing the Field" vs. one at a time. | I'm hoping you all can settle an open debate I've been having with my family for a long time: Is it currently normal to go on dates with more than one person at a time? My parents have *always* insisted yes, but of course they haven't been on any dates with anyone else since the '70s, and I feel like it may have changed since then. My sister [25 F], and one or two family friends (both girls of about the same age), also say it's normal and do it all the time. Sister says this is how the online dating scene goes as well. And I want them to be right.
Problem is, I keep talking to other people roughly my age who have absloutley never heard of this, and some who think it's downright horrible. And these people aren't social outcasts or anything by a long shot. Plus, one of the aforementioned family friends keeps running into drama with overly-attached guys who have never heard of this approach. So which group is right?
Until very recently, I was the type that'd be lucky to get the attention of more than one girl in the same year, so the answer to this question was irrelevant. But now I have a new job, live in a way more populated area, and just got done with a really fascinating period in my life, so all that's changed. So who's right? I need to know before going forward. | Is it currently acceptable to go on dates with more than one person at a time? |
t3_38rchf | relationships | Can I [17 M] still ask her [16 F] out if my friend told me she said she doesn't like me or is that innapropriate? | isn't being best friends a good thing? I've known her for almost a year, but over the past few months we've gotten really close. Her friend (F) told me she said she'd never like me cause we're too good of friends. Is there anything I can do or should I up just move on? This honestly sucks since she gave me so many positive signs. Everyone has said how we're totally gonna date and we're both each other's types. I just don't get how we have SO much in common, but she punishes me by being so close to her. If I got less close to her would here be a better chance she would like me? Should I still ask her out since she said this to my friend and not me, or do I just move on? I've been planning on asking her out for a while. Her friend still told me she thinks well date, but I just need to give it time. This worries me cause each day that passes is a day close she gets to finding someone else. | Is the only option to move on or can things chance? |
t3_2hig50 | relationships | I've [20 F] developed feelings on my lost distance friend[21 M] but I don't know if I should say anything. | My friend and I have been friends for a year or two, and just recently I had a lightbulb moment. Problem is, I live in Florida/Texas and he's in Oregon.
Another problem is that he has a relatively recent ex who is bothering him and making him feel like general crap. When he feels distraught or really upset he drops all contact, with everyone.
I don't know if I should keep my feelings to myself or hint to him. He's a super sweet guy and I tell him almost everything. I don't want to ruin it if he doesn't recuperate my feelings. | Should I tell my friend who is long distance, has a nagging ex and like to disappear for a month that I want to date? |
t3_3en3zb | relationships | I [23M] am gonna approach this girl [??F] tomorrow | this isn't a question, but I'm open to any advice you guys wanna give! just a little background on myself. I'm a virgin with no dating experience, ZERO. Something bad happened in freshman year highschool that made me antisocial for 6 years. I didn't start opening up until I was 20, and I'm 23 now, so I'm a complete noobie when it comes to relationships/sex, but I'm working hard to try to change that. In the past 2 years I've been talking to girls more frequently and even got a few numbers. I was taking it one step at a time and it was becoming easier and easier, or so I thought... it wasn't until last weekend when I saw this girl who worked at a clothing store and all my confidence went straight out the window. I've talked to a lot of girls I found attractive without feeling nervous, but all it took was a smile and a hello from this girl and I my heart started beating super fast and my whole body felt really hot. I wanted to talk to her but I was a little bitch and left without saying anything. I went home that night thinking, meh, I'll forget her the next day. A week later I'm still thinking about her and it's killing me inside. I talked to a lot of friends and they all said to go back and talk to her and that I have everything to gain and nothing to lose. I don't know why I feel the way I do about this girl because I never even met her, I don't even know her name, but I wanna get to know her, so I'm going back tomorrow and taking a chance. | I pussied out on an opportunity to talk to a girl and I'm going back tomorrow to talk to her. |
t3_1a4sqa | dating_advice | After painfully breaking up with my first boyfriend a month ago, I (20/f) was asked to see a movie and drink wine by a new guy (21/m). Any and all advice is appreciated! :) | I am a girl (20 y/o) and I am going over to a boy's house to watch a movie with him (Gladiator, I picked it cause I've never seen it) and drink wine. Last month I went through a painful breakup when I discovered my ex cheated on me (feel free to look at my comment history for info on that). I kinda still feel in love with my ex but it is definitely fading, and this semi-date will help me move on.
The boy I am supposed to see the movie with (I will call him Will) has been texting me steadily the past 3 days. We talk about everything and nothing haha. Just like our interests and joking around. But we talk constantly, we have sent quite a few texts each day. (i hope he does not have reddit, haha).
Any advice? I haven't really done this with boys. I've only had one boyfriend. I just want to get to know this kid better and see if something can happen from here. Should I lean on him? Should I crack jokes during the movie? Should I bring popcorn? Should I hook up with him (just kissing) after the movie and then leave? Will he think something is wrong if I do not kiss him at all? | went through a painful breakup a month ago, going to see a movie and drink wine with a kid who thinks I am cute. Need advice on how to act |
t3_3vb9dg | relationships | I [22F] completely trust my husband [26M] (married 1 year), but he doesn't trust me. He constantly looks through my phone and social media. | I trust my husband with everything. I've never cheated. The most I've done while in a relationship with him was text an ex of mine (who was still my friend) and not tell him he was an ex. Apparently that wrecked all the trust he ever had with me. (He found out by going through old texts in my phone) I haven't talked to my ex since, and completely deleted him from my life.
However, my husband is constantly looking through my Facebook, my messages on my phone, my Web history whenever I'm not around. I get that he is jealous, but it's really getting out of control. I asked him about it, and he doesn't deny it, but I don't think he sees a problem with it.
I will voluntarily let him use my phone and go through it if he wants, I have nothing to hide. I just feel as though he's checking in because he thinks I'm up to something, which I'm not.
And even though I have offered for him to use my phone to Google something or call someone or whatever he wants if he doesn't have his phone, he refuses to let me use his if I don't have my phone. I don't think he's cheating, I just think he's hiding something, and I have no idea what. I don't know how to talk to him about this without making him angry. | My husband doesn't trust me, but has no reason not to. He won't let me use his phone, but is constantly looking through mine when I'm not around. How do I talk to him about this? |
t3_34cy42 | relationships | My [24F] Boyfriend [20M] Wants to have Friend who's a Girl | My boyfriend of 1 years and 9 months and I have had a near perfect relationship, aside from me having jealousy issues. In the beginning of out relationship I didn't have much of a problem with him having female friends, until one of them started being a bitch to me. She kept saying negative things about me and tried suggesting that he breaks up with me, after that I stopped letting him have friends who are girls. He's now in a college course with this girl who he talks to, they text eachother and stuff. He lets me read through their conversations and it seems platonic, and he asked if he could hang out with her outside of the school, but I still have possessive feelings for him and don't know if I want him hanging out with another girl. I also don't want to seem controlling of him. Maybe I could let him but only if I'm there? What do you think I can do to handle this? Thanks :) | I'm having issues with letting my boyfriend be friends with a girl. I've had negative experiences with that in the past and I'm not sure I feel like it's okay for him to be friends with her or not. |
t3_xo040 | AskReddit | Best way to facebook troll? | So here is the deal, my ex and I broke up the other week after being in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship (i'm a guy). Shes cheated on me multiple times (once with a 'close' mate) and told me to "fuck off" when offering to carry her back to our house after she had sprained her ankle. After months of taking copious amounts of shit from her I finally told her that I had had enough and suggested we go our own ways.
Now here is the thing - I have gone on holiday but suddenly I received a load of hate mail from our group of friends via text and facebook. This spurred me to check her facebook (I know her password and she is not aware of that) and she has been making up 100% fake stories about how apparently I was cheating on her and being violent?!! (Completely the other way around!) | What is the best way to troll her subtly via using her facebook without it being obvious that it is me? |
t3_h8x5m | relationship_advice | The only titles I can think of sound really dorky. | Created an alternate account for this.
I'm a youngin' (18 years old, final year of high school), so I don't have a wealth of experience with this type of thing, so here goes.
Fell in love with this girl and flirted with her for around 6 months before we started dating. I'd known her since year 7 (around 12 years old) and we had been pretty good friends. Our relationship was a brief 4 months, full of joy and confusion. It clearly wasn't working out, at one point we both agreed we weren't really "feeling it" and she broke it off. This was also my first serious relationship and I didn't exactly know what I was doing, but anyway. This was about a year ago or longer.
I've come to grips with the fact that she didn't want to be in a relationship with me. I can deal with that fine, but she is always in my head. But that was over a year ago. I still think about her the same amount as I did when we first broke up. Is this a regular experience?
It probably isn't helping that I see her nearly every day at school. She's in my extended group of friends. We attend the same parties sometimes. She's also in my art class. I've even been trying to avoid contact with her. The only times I talk to her are when she speaks to me first (I have had about 2 long conversations with her since, but never anything regarding our previous or current feelings for each other).
To be honest, I haven't even been taking too much notice of this whole charade until a couple of weeks ago. It hadn't bothered me too much until I started having these weird dreams where she kisses me or we're back together and enjoying each other. Why do I have these dreams all of a sudden? They're starting to really bother me and cause me to feel really depressed when I wake up every morning and have to go see her at school.
Why can't I get over these feelings? Anything I can do to help speed it along? I know it'll probably take more time and that the "first love hurts the worst". I guess I just need to hear something reassuring. | Broke up with first girlfriend about a year ago. Haven't stopped thinking about her. Recently started having vivid dreams of us getting back together which are really fucking depressing.*** |
t3_3vxrke | tifu | TIFU by pepper spraying myself. | Obligatory this didn't happen today. So a few years ago, i was working as a camp counselor at the taekwondo gym i went to. Me and my friend were the two main workers on that day, so we had to get there early to set up for the kids. During this, my friend had to go to the bathroom, and me being a 12 year old, immediately looked around for stuff to mess with. Unfortunately, the first thing my eyes landed on was her canister of pepper spray. And, being the idiot I am, i sprayed a little in front of me, just to see if it worked. It did, and once i put the container down, i suddenly forgot about the giant cloud of pepper in front of me. Needless to say, i was in the fetal position for the next couple minutes. Once my friend finally came back, she just looked around, realized what i had done, and laughed. | pepper sprayed myself, my friend laughed. Good times. |
t3_3zy03t | personalfinance | Took the 0% - what to do with the cash? | I recently purchased a new car and took the 0% for 60 month financing option in lieu of a $1250 rebate. Now, I had the cash for the vehicle set aside and could have paid for it, but it seemed that $40k invested in pretty much anything would have been the better way to go. Anyone have any advise on how to use that cash?
Having it sitting in a a savings account paying .90% ($360 per year) is, I suppose, one option. I also like the idea that monthly payment could come right out of the savings account and draw down for the next 5 years, and I can pretend that it never touches my cash flow. I can keep contributing to my savings, 401k, mortgage, etc. as though it never happened. I don't "need" the money, it was above an beyond my emergency fund. I've considered a bond ETF (BOND), or something with more than zero risk. I'm comfortable with more than zero risk, but also like the idea that I could just pay the thing off if I ever wanted or needed to. | Took the 0 percent for 60 months... what to do with $40k that's low, but not zero risk. |
t3_4ml96l | relationships | [Non Romantic] Should I (21 M) try to contact my two younger twin brothers? (M, 17) | After my father split with my mother he got another woman pregnant with two twin boys. They didn't workout and as little babies they moved away from my father, he signed his rights away. Now fast forward 17 years and I'm friends with their mother on Facebook, she tagged one of them in prom pictures and I am tempted to message him and try to get to know my younger brothers.
I've tried talking to their mother about meeting them but she always says no or they are t ready for it. I think she doesn't want to explain what happened and try to come up with why she is keeping them away from her two older brothers (Me and my brother who is 25) and our father, who we don't really have a good relationship with in the first place
Sound off Reddit, what should I do? | want to reconnect with younger twin brothers, mother doesn't want it. |
t3_4oa7gm | legaladvice | I am considering filing a police report on my assault, but I wrote a book that talks about my assault, is it legal? | Hi r/legaladvice, i was sexually assaulted 6 months ago and want to finally file a report. To heal i wrote a book and it mentions the assault without names. I dont use and derogatory terms or insults, just describe what happened that morning and how its affected me my life and my veiws on sex. I want to try to publish this book.
the assault happened in vermont but i am in conneticut currently. Would there be legal repurcussions in publishing this book since if i file the report and both our names would be on the report people would be able to put 2 and 2 together? | wrote boook on assault is it legal to publish if i file charges |
t3_25mfcm | relationships | My boyfriend (25m) and I (25f) don't seem to have time for each other. | Dating for four years...recently (last 3 weeks) my boyfriend and I don't seem to have time for one another. Or it's more like he doesn't have time for me. We are seeing each other 2 times a week (Saturday and Sunday) but they are only for social events that we already have commitments to. Double date with friends, sports game which we already have tickets to. I can't remember the last time him and I just sat down and talked. Like really talked. I want that and I've expressed that to him...maybe not obviously enough but we are so on the surface right now. We'll talk on the phone for 10 minutes and our conversations usually go like this: "How's work? Good, you?" and we are done within a few minutes.
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He is too busy to respond to texts and sometimes cancels dates. I try not to get upset but I do. He thinks that I get mad at him but I just get disappointed in the situation. I know he is really busy with work. I guess I'm looking for some ways to cope with this. Do I try and talk to him again? We are tentatively hanging out Friday because we have tickets to a sports game...so he can't really avoid me. I have friends and I see them. I have a busy life too. I work full time and exercise regularly as well as indulge in hobbies but I've been feeling really very lonely and neglected. Advice? | Boyfriend is too busy to put in time with me. I've tried to talk to him but it has not gotten better. We only see each other for social events with other people. |
t3_2bx4tg | relationships | Me [36 F] with my ex [36 M] of several years, who wants me back but wants to keep his options open too | I've been in an on/off long-distance relationship with "Pete" for 5 years. We were supposed to move in together, but I got cold feet when I suspected him of cheating on me with his female best friend Pam, and we fought then "took a break" which ended up lasting 8 months. During this time I struggled with a family member's sickness and death, a serious health crisis of my own, and lots of talking with Pete through it all - we remained good friends. We have similar tastes and senses of humor, we have so much fun together, and he is the only person in the world who really "gets" me.
Last month I asked him if he would reconsider our relationship, and he agreed that was something he wanted too. We both admitted we still love each other.
Then he told me that he had 2 conditions:
One, he needed me to be OK with his continued friendship with Pam. He admitted to me that while we were taking our break, he had slept with someone, and while he won't tell me who, I'm fairly certain it's her. I don't want to ask because it won't help to know. He was dumbfounded that I was hurt to learn he had slept with someone, and I know, I know, it was 8 months and it's stupid but I thought we were working through things together at the time. We talked all the time. Had I known he had moved on I might've done the same.
Two, he needs us to "stay non-exclusive for a while", although he has "no one else on the horizon". He said he doesn't want to sleep around, but if he meets someone "perfect for him" while we are working out our problems, that he doesn't want to deal with my "crazy jealousy" anymore. He says it is unfair of me to ask him to be exclusive when we're not even in the same state, and he is convinced this is why we didn't work last time. If these two conditions aren't met, a relationship is out of the question. | Long-distance ex says he still loves me but wants to play the field, too. I love him but this is killing me, how do I deal with it? |
t3_4tqtdp | relationships | Me [24 M] with my friend [18F ], she agreed on going out in a date with me but said she alredy has a boyfriend. Maybe she was joking or what? | Hi guys,
throwaway account since I think she remebers my username.
Anyway, I met this girl, M, a week ago during a small vacation in Germany. During our time there we went out a couple of times (always with a friend of her present since she was travelling with her), always having a good time. She is super cute, and we have a lot of things in common, like both nerdish, love the same tv-shows/films, etc.
After we both went back to our hometown, I asked her out for this Saturday, but her reply was something along the lines of "ahahah no I can't, I am busy with my boyfriend this saturday, but we could do anytime you want on Sunday" .
Soooo... Wtf is happening? During our time together she never mentioned a boyfriend, and now she drops the bomb but still wants to meet me up. I guess it can't be just a friendship thing even in her eyes, since I have only known her for like a week, and we would be meeting alone.
She didn't seem that kind of girl, but I really don't know at this point.
Anyway, I won't be around for a couple of weeks, so we both agreed to meet up when I'll be back, but I don't really know what to do, but I do really want to know either she was joking(???) about having a boyfriend, or what she thinks we would be doing/what she expects from meeting up alone with me.
How can I ask her that, without showing up like an idiot/creeper/dunno what? She is i think a lot younger than me, don't know how to approach the situation. | lonely guy,met girl in vacation, asked her out, she said yes but told me she has a boyfriend. What to do/How to clarify our situation? |
t3_49885m | relationship_advice | I'm 29/m starting to date someone (25/m) but still haunted by the past | I met someone (44/m) in 2008. We had a tumultuous relationship for the first couple of years: it was a complete emotional rollercoaster. Nevertheless, I married him in 2011, thinking that it would better our relationship. Of course it was a bad idea. It never truly did. He was always jealous and very controlling. He didn't let me have friends and he even tried to separate me from my family. I didn't realize what he was doing for a few more years. Even when he physically hit me a few times, I blamed myself. Thankfully, I left him last July and started a new life. I went through a lot of hard times (emotionally and financially), but now I couldn't be happier with my life. The only regret I have is that I ever met him, but it has made me a better person.
A couple of months ago, I met someone (25/m). He's very sweet and we get along very well. We've been taking it slow: going on weekly dates since late January, with each date getting better. We are definitely getting more intimate. It feels like we're going into relationship territory soon, but haven't had "the talk" about our status yet.
Nevertheless, I feel nervous about telling him about being legally married. I have started the divorce process, but it'll probably go on for a couple more months. What should I do? Should I tell him everything now? Or wait until I'm certain about the direction of our relationship? | I'm legally married but separated and dating someone new. Should I tell him now or when I know that we're definitely in a relationship? |
t3_dl4sn | self | Screw you, dream, screw you | I had a dream last night where after great difficulty I obtained a magical pencil. If you wrote a question with it, it would induce a hallucination where you would be presented with the answer.
Let me point out first that it is INCREDIBLY difficult to write in dreams. I, however, had the presence of mind to write:
"Why is the fine structure constant 1/137?"
Scientist here if you couldn't tell.
Cue hallucination (within my dream). And there's Douglas Adams who tells me, "Because it's 42." The sheer illogic of that statement causes me to wake up from both "layers". >.>
Guess you can't rely on dreams for much other than entertainment. | Douglas Adams trolled me in my dream. And you can't turn to dreams for answers. |
t3_isf1h | AskReddit | How closely do bounty hunters have to follow the law? | Last night, I went to a friends house and a bunch of us were hanging out. One of the guys brought a guy he sorta knew (we'll call him Jake) to join us, and he gave us all some free drugs. Most of the people go out to a bar, and some of us stay. Jake returns, and we find out via a cell phone call that there are some guys (we were told they were undercover cops) looking for him. Jake leaves his drugs at the house and leaves.
About 20 minutes later, one of the guys leaves to go see if Jake is okay, and these guys end up following him to the door. They demand to talk to the owner and see all of the guys' IDs and ask if Jake Lastname is there. We say we know a guy named Jake but we don't know his last name, and that he already left. The guys begin to get their IDs, but the owner of the apartment asks if they can talk outside, and the two men say no, the door has to stay open, and make sure to show us their badges very quickly, implying that they were police officers. We say that they need a warrant to come in, and they tell us that they don't and that we're aiding and abetting a fugitive and are all gonna spend up to 12 years in jail.
My friend (stupidly) puts his hand on one of the guys, since he's trying to force his way in, and the guy immediately starts going off on how he has now assaulted a federal officer and is in deep shit. Another one of the guys says that we don't know where the guy is and wants to know what they want from us, and the guy says that he's clearly drunk and could be arrested too... even though we're in a private residence. He says that he doesn't want trouble with the police, and the guy says **"We're not cops."** This entire time, they have been implying that they're cops. Turns out they're bounty hunters.
Eventually they call the police, and the police search the place (with a warrant), and arrest one of the guys on a few year old MIP that he never paid for. | While there are some things that were handled wrong on our end, do bounty hunters not need to say that they're bounty hunters and can they imply they're police officers? And do they not really need a warrant? |
t3_2us7dq | relationships | I (M19) just went through a serious breakup (M20) and my guy friend (M29) is already hitting on me...? | For the past year and a half (since we were 18) I have been dating my childhood best friend. I couldn't be with him anymore mostly due to his parents and I just broke up with him a few days ago.
We still love each other very much and are both devastated, but I know it can't work; he however won't give up on me and says he will always wait for me. We will always remain best friends, anything else is out of the question.
For the past couple of months I've been spending time and playing guitar with a new guy friend (who is by the way 10 years my senior), it has obviously been 100% platonic because of my relationship but I've developed a crush over the past week or so.
We spent some time together yesterday for the first time after my breakup (it's only been a couple of days) and he was noticeably more snuggly. He even gave me a tiny kiss on top of my head, and his hand brushed very lightly across my breast at one point when he had his arm around me watching tv. It seemed entirely accidental but I know guys well enough to know that that sort of thing is intentional nearly every time, especially if they don't jerk away and apologize immediately!
I had a feeling he liked me but he was always respectful of my relationship, but even though I'm single now this seems way too fast. My best friend/ex obviously doesn't want to see me dating again, and while it is no longer technically his business, I also care about his feelings and I don't want to move on too fast and hurt him any worse than I already have. I also question why my friend would start being so flirty immediately instead of giving me time.
Is my friend just trying to hook up with me? I would think so after his behavior yesterday, but at the same time we have become such good friends and he knows me and cares about me as a person. Should I stay away simply to be respectful of my best friend/ex? I'm overwhelmed with confusion and a horribly heavy burden of guilt.
What on earth am I supposed to do?
Thanks for your time and help! | Just ended a long term relationship and my guy friend is already putting the moves on me. Does he only want sex? And should I feel this horribly guilty about it all? |
t3_pbqyr | AskReddit | Most culutrally oblivious thing that you did/happened? | A while back, a few mate and I went to Vietnam for a holiday trip.
On one of last days, we all bought some traditional [Vietnamese hat] as souvenir and decided to wear it for the rest of the day.
We were walking around a park and walked around for a bit to kill time.
We soon noticed everyone we walked by were looking at us and smiling and laughing. Some even took photos of us. At first, we chalked it up to them just finding foreigner wearing Vietnamese stuff amusing.
After a while pretty much everybody we walked by doing this (including a few soldiers and cops trying their hardest not to) and old people giving digusted looks, we thought there was more to it and just took it.
Eventually, we deduced we were wearing a women hat the whole freaking time and walked in the middle Hanoi at it's busiest time and busiest place. We got your confirmation after we ask one of the servers at a restaurant. | Imagine 5 tourist wearing [this] and walking around Central Park and completely oblivious to it but in a Vietnamese context. |
t3_1hdld9 | offmychest | I am just alright. Maybe it's apathy. | I am... Alright. I am a young guy in the Army, but I am damn good at being a soldier so I was thrust into a position of leadership. I am in charge of three men, my age but I am responsible for them on and off work. Anyone who has been in charge of people, management or what have you, no doubt knows the stress. But like I said, these guys are my age, one even a little older. And they look to me for advice. Like I am some fucking guru when in fact I am just as scared and clueless as them. But I can't let them know that, you know?
I just got back from leave in Portland, and I stayed with some fantastic people, people I love and I know I could get a job up there and live near them and live with one of my really good friends, but I am locked in for a few more years here in El Paso. It sucks because I would love nothing else than to be up there with them and be a civilian smoking pot and getting hammered every night.
I've been talking to this girl for months now, we are so damn close and we both have talked about mutual attraction, this was all over the net (vidya games), and I met her up in Oregon and my God she is just.. Perfect, such chemistry, it's fucking fireworks, man. But she has this... Dick head boyfriend, this terrible guy who treats her awful but she is to sweet and naive to know it. Even her friends tell her, and we... Didn't do anything. We got drunk one night and slept in the same bed and just.. Slept. But I sort of ruined that, I have night terrors almost every night and apparently I was shaking and grunting in my sleep. She was sweet about it, understood and wasn't mad, just worried about me. I was so damn embarrassed.
Since then my night terrors get worse, I wake up after them, and want to just scratch all my skin off. Just hating my skin, so I lay in bed for an extra ten minutes, wake up and go do PT. I don't know where my life is going, really, I just go day by day. | I am alright. |
t3_10h67x | AskReddit | What are the worst customers you've had at a minimum wage job? | I worked at a chevron carwash for about a year and a half and have a ton of stories about crazy customers. One stands out in particular however. One of my friends worked in the store of the chevron while I worked outside at the car wash. One day he comes running out to me laughing his ass off, and proceeds to tell me about a customer that just came through. The customer had gone into the store and asked for the bathroom key, and walked on back to rear of the store. About 5 minutes later, the customer walks out of the bathroom and back to the register, hands my friend the bathroom key, and stands there waiting to order. My friend, after a brief moment of shock at what he was seeing, leans over and whispers to the guy, "hey dude, your dick is hanging out". And sure enough, every inch of this guy was hanging out through his zipper. The customer smiles absentmindedly and responds, "totally dude, I getcha". At this my friend just facepalms and tries again, "no seriously! Your. Dick. Is. Hanging. Out." Again, the customer just laughs and is all like "yea buddy, radical." Finally, my friend just stands up (he was leaning on the counter), looks the customer straight in the eyes, and yells throughout the store (which had become packed because of the holdup) "Your dick is hanging out of your pants!!! Please put it away so I don't have to look at it!" Immediately, the guy jumps as if he was just dazed and quickly pulls his dick back into his pants, looks around sheepishly, and shuffles out the door. My friend turns to his current customer, "would you like a bag for these things?" Not a fuck was given. | Customer stands in line with his dick out, my coworker subtly helps him out. |
t3_k0x71 | dating_advice | Going on "dates" vs. "dating," what is normal as far as exclusivity? | I've been on a few dates with a woman, we are both in our early 40s and divorced with kids of our own. I told her I am enjoying her company and getting to know her. But I was clear that this was going to be a slow process, as I wasn't ready for a relationship. There has been nothing physical between us. She asked if I was going to "date" other women. I said that I would go on a date with another woman, but I'm not looking for "dating" as in a relationship, so it would be very casual. She said she didn't think 2 people could get to know one another if one person was still willing to date around. My opinion is that "going on dates" is casual, and as long as people are honest about it, it's not a big deal. I said I'm not looking for casual sex.
Anyhow, she said that this is not normal, that people can only go on dates with one person, and if that doesn't work out, they move on. So her point of view is you go exclusive and only go on dates with one person until you aren't "dating" them anymore. I think that's already jumping into exclusivity, which is "dating" and a "relationship."
Am I off base here? Don't people go on dates with different people until they decide to enter into a relationship (and then sometimes not even then?). Maybe I'm missing something here... was married for a long time until a few years ago... | in your 40s, is it normal to go on dates with more than one person or do people go exclusive from the start? |
t3_1v4enq | relationships | Societal pressure to look perfect (F21) is affecting my relationship (M22). | I'm 22 and I've felt this way for awhile. I've been with the same guy for over a year and I can't help but think I'm not enough for him. With all of the models, the beautiful basically naked women on Instagram, the NSFW gifs on Reddit, the articles on TFM... how can he possibly think I'm attractive? Why would he ever think about me when he's fucking me? Why does he even like me? I assume that people are just settling for people, thanks to all of the sex in movies and on the internet. What makes it worse is there are all of these movies where the men are the fat funny guys that everyone loves (Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Jonah Hill, Seth Rogan), but the women ALWAYS have to be the extremely attractive ones. I can really only think of one fat funny popular lady...and that's Melissa McCarthy. The pressure to look good is almost too much for me... I know I'm a decently attractive person, but I obsess over not being enough for my boyfriend. He sees all of these attractive women and must think of me as ugly compared to them. | Don't think I'm enough for my boyfriend because he's surrounded by images of extremely sexy women. |
t3_gg52k | AskReddit | Why am I so terrified? | Why am I so terrified of everything?
AT WORK - I am terrified I am going to get fired for incompetence even though most of the time I know how to do the work
AT HOME - I am terrified my husband hates me and is not attracted to me even though he clearly loves me.
WITH FRIENDS – Never been able to keep them long because I always end up doing something stupid and am too scared to face them because of what they might think
How do I make this stop? Sometimes I will be sitting at home or at work and just start crying. I have been able to hide it from everyone except my husband and he is getting increasingly agitated at this behavior. The extreme shame and terror is destructive, overwhelming, and seems to be getting worse.
Has anyone else had this problem, and how did you deal with it? | need help managing emotions of shame and terror |
t3_2guk9p | tifu | TIFU by trusting the internet to have accurate and up-to-date information. | As I'm Iranian, I have to travel to either the UAE or Turkey in order to get a student visa. I received my CAS only a week ago and I was in a hurry as my university was going to start soon. So I checked the visa application centres' processing times and I found that the Bursa consulate was the quickest. So I booked an application and headed out to Turkey with my mother who was going to get a tourist visa. We planned to stay in Istanbul, then take a ferry to Bursa(a 2 hour ride). The biggest mistake I made was that I googled the consulate's location. Three sites or so had the same address, so I assumed it was correct.
We arrived at Bursa about 1 hour before my interview time. So we gave the address to a taxi driver and after a few phone calls he found out the location. We arrived there, but no matter how much the driver looked around, we could not find the consulate. We asked a bunch of people if they knew where the British consulate was, but all said no. We then managed to find a person who said that the British consulate was closed. My mother and I could not believe it and we decided to get help from a local police station. Luckily, there was a cop who could speak English. She called someone, while another cop went on the internet and searched for the address using Turkish letters. They both yielded the same result and we quickly went on our way.
Guess fucking what? We arrived at the area, and after a long search we found the building where the consulate was supposed to be. We asked a banker if there was a British consulate, but he said that it had moved from that place. | A bunch of websites had the incorrect address for the British consulate in Bursa. I wasted about $680 in visa fees + $120 in transportation costs, 3 hours searching for the consulate and will have to spend an unintentional gap year. |
t3_10s3xj | relationships | Love is a douche[M18][F18] | This is the situation.
I began on a new school last year, and in my class was a really nice girl. We quickly started to like eachother, and we talked alot.
Another person (M) who was seen as the clown of the class, who everyone thought would never get a girlfriend rarely speaked to this girl, and i felt confident about asking her out after a few months.
On a tuesday, the week i had planned to ask her out on the friday i see a thing on Facebook.
They had gone into a relationship.
This felt horrible, and i felt betrayed, because this guy had spent no time at all with this girl, and i had spent months with her, and i started to dislike this guy, my own friend.
They have been dating for about 4 months now, and i hate it, and still love her. I still hangout with both of them, and like them for who they are, but hate them for being together.
Everytime i see her i feel horrible, and im deppressed.
Reddit, what the fuck should i do? | I loved a girl, she got into a relationship, but still hang with me. And i still love her more than ever. |
t3_ryuof | relationship_advice | LDR- When is enough, enough? | I (23,f) have been seeing my boyfriend (26,m) for a little over four months. We live roughly two hours apart and get to see each other (at most/if) once a week. We get along incredibly well and value each other immensely. However, the combination of his low libido, anxiety, depression, and lack of communication are slowly taking a toll on me and our relationship.
I feel like I am not getting fulfilled in this relationship emotionally or physically. I have tried speaking to him about this in person, over the phone, and even tried less confrontational methods like email. I hate having to constantly repeat myself and feel like i'm nagging.
I make it a point to do/say special things for him when we are together, and more importantly when we are apart. I feel as though I am not receiving anything in return and find myself slowly becoming passive aggressive. He won't compliment me unless I basically drag it out of him, I feel like I am not good enough/sexy because he doesn't mention sex outside of the bedroom. When we do have sex he is silent, and maybe mutters, "you feel nice", if i'm lucky.
Usually after one of our discussions he apologizes for his depression, and says he will work on it. He has stated that he is going to try St. Johns Wart for it, and hopefully that should show some sort of improvement.
I really need help. I am literally at my wits end and am so close to just ending things. I know he adores me, and I adore him, I just don't know how much longer I can deal with this, if this is the "honeymoon phase".
I am sorry for the wall of text/appreciate any and all advice. Just needed to vent it all out. | LDR adore each other, trying to work things out, just isn't working quite well. |
t3_130olu | relationship_advice | Need advice on taking a break (not the normal situation) | So normally the idea of taking a break is frowned upon, although my situation is different from a lot of the ones I've heard or read about. Im an 18 year old guy, and started dating this girl roughly 2 months ago. Turns out she isn't ready to have another long relationship where she has her emotions invested in because she just got out of a controlling 2 year relationship before me. It was basically left up to me what we could do, as in break up for good or take a break. We talked about taking a break, and she is fine with even being friends with benefits. We're open and honest with each other how we feel, which I really appreciate. They only thing is there would be no title and no commitment; she's comfortable with me doing whatever I want with other people. Myself on the other hand am not really comfortable with doing this, and while I can't be mad at her for whatever she does because we're on a break, it's gonna hurt. This isn't my first relationship, and I know I'm young, I just hate to see a chance wasted if I don't give this break a try. I'm kind of a picky guy when it comes to girls, and I honestly really like her. | Girlfriend of 2 months and I mutually broke up. She's not ready for a serious relationship, just got out of a 2 year one. She wants to take a break. I don't know if I should end it for good or take a chance and wait a little. |
t3_y0zgi | AskReddit | Dear reddit, I have been told by others that my face makes me appear to be in a negative mood when I almost never am. I work in a service-oriented profession where appearing this may negatively affect my performance outcomes. Does anyone have any advice on dealing with a "negative" neutral face? | I believe I have been cursed with one of those faces that always appears either serious, tired or angry. It's my default face and I can't help but look like this when I'm not paying attention to it. It may have to do with the shape of my eyes or the folds of my brow, or maybe it's my damned lips that seem to be shaped in a permanent frown. I don't really know I don't look at myself too much. However it's so jarring to others that I have been rudely approached by random strangers commenting on this and inevitably tail spinning me into a bad mood.
To explain this a little better I'll recount a recent encounter I had. I was finishing up a 16 hour shift at work, feeling pretty positive about myself and thinking about all the good I accomplished at work and all the people I helped. I was heading to the locker room to pick up my stuff, when a random woman I walked by scoffed at me and sarcastically commented "You look happy". I quickly responded "I am happy" and she mockingly replied "Yea right".
I don't know what would compel a random stranger to say this to another stranger. I have gotten the "cheer up" or "smile once in a while" variants of this from people all the time, I'm just sharing with you the most intrusive and offensive variance of this thus far. Seeing as how this isn't the first and only time this has happened to me, I'm thinking my face maybe to blame.
It really does bother me when people automatically assume that I'm in a terrible mood. My face deceives others into thinking negatively of me when I am just the opposite. I'm an upbeat, easy going, fun person, that loves his fair share of pranks and jokes. individual.
Another factor that concerns me is that at work I am judged/graded subjectively for my performance review and I feel that my superiors my automatically assume that "I don't want to be there" when in fact I love what I do. | My asshole face lies to everyone; Save me |
t3_2mfosl | relationships | Me [27 F] with my ex [25 M] of 4.5 years. He's moving on quickly, and I'm losing my resolve to not date for 1-2 years | I broke up with my ex four months ago after 4.5 years together. He lives halfway across the country now, and we had a ton of issues, so no part of me wants him back. My question is, how short is too short to move on from our LTR?
A couple months after we broke up, I created an OkCupid profile that said I was looking for "short-term dating." I went on a few dates, but it felt so wrong because a) I knew I wasn't over my ex, and b) I wanted to be single for 1-2 years. I'm not into casual sex anymore, so it didn't make sense to date at all. I deactivated my account.
Fast forward to today, when I realized I was about to get charged for another month of A-List. I logged back in to downgrade my account, and I couldn't resist the urge to check my ex's new city for a sign of him. I found his profile rather quickly and was a little shocked by what I saw. Not only does he have an active account, but he's also looking for "long-term dating"! Am I crazy, or is that way too soon?
What are your thoughts on length of being single after a LTR? What's normal and what isn't? The thought of having another boyfriend right now exhausts me. But my hurt feelings are making me want to reach out to the men in my life for sex or comfort. However, that need is precisely why I know I need to be single right now. I want to learn more about myself and what I want over the next year or two, that way I'll be emotionally healthy and in a position to find the man of my dreams.
One of the reasons this situation is so painful for me is that we mainly broke up because he moved away for medical school, and one of the many reasons I didn't tag along was because he told me he might not have time for a relationship. But what do you know—he has plenty of time! | Ex is moving on after a measly four months. How long does it take you? And how can I get past this so I can keep my promise to myself to stay single for awhile? |
t3_1u2l64 | relationships | My girlfriend (22F) is 1 month pregnant with a kid that I don't want (24M). She is on the fence about keeping it. I was on the verge of breaking up with her when I heard the news. | She's in an unstable part of her life.. Back home living with her parents, not sure if she's gonna graduate college, our relationship on the rocks. And then happens. She calls me on the phone to tell me she is pregnant. She loves me to death but I am not happy with our relationship anymore. We've been together about 8 months now. I am only staying with her now to get this resolved. There's still feelings, but she's done enough to not make me want to stay in this..
She has an abortion scheduled in a week but I'm afraid she's not going to go. She doesn't want a kid but doesnt want to go through with this. I still care for her and want her to be happy but a kid isn't right right now. She's worried about depression if she goes go through with this. I have a decent job but no job security, she doesn't have a job. Any advice would be helpful on how to get her to see that having a kid isnt going to make all her other problems disappear. | gf told me she was preggo when i was about to dump her. she wants to keep it and i don't. How can i show her that it's not the end of the world if she goes through with this? |
t3_o361d | relationships | Do I cut my relationship losses after being married for 10 years or hope the investment pays off? | Throwaway here. My wife and I (29 M) and (30 F) have been together for 11 years and married for 10. She brought one child into the relationship and we have a few of our own. She is a selfish narcissistic person who looks for ways to validate herself with things that do not matter. I made the mistake of marrying someone for looks alone and in the hopes of what could be rather that what is. She has told me that she is not attracted to me but that she loves me and wants to be with me forever. I want to have mutual attraction, passion and sex but have learned to live without this luxury. I love being a father more that I want a great relationship. I have been told numerous times that If I were happy that it would be better for my kids than what harm separate households would create. After going through my parents divorce at a young age I think I would disagree. I have worked hard for 11 years to learn to work with my wife and compromise and know her likes and dislikes. In the end is that all that matters, being able to co-inhabit space productively? Obviously divorce does not guarantee a new relationship but I think that living on my own would be less painful than living attracted to someone who is not attracted to me. I think that overall life would be much easier if I stay married but my heart says otherwise (What a Cliché). Trying to keep this short as a whiny bitch like me could really get going ;) | I am unhappy in my marriage but my kids are great and my wife is a bearable babysitter in cohabitation. Do I do what is right for me in love alone and leave her or do what my brain says and stay with her? |
t3_30owi7 | tifu | TIFU by vacuuming a slice of pork | Today at approx 1:30pm (Australia) I was vacuuming around the house and was at the area near the dining table when I see a slice of pork sitting there on a plate. Being the pubescent 17 year old that I am, I start to gather thoughts in my head on what to do with it. For some reason I decide to try and vacuum it. As I proceed to lift the tube thing, I aim at Mr Piggy as though I'm using a shotgun. I cock the tube and proceed to suck this bitch harder than a two dollar hooker. As the piece of meat starts to enter the godless tube of hair and dust it becomes clogged. "Fuck." No big deal though as I can easily turn it off from the powerpoint. Only problem is, it's 20 metres away from me. (Great time to use an extension cord, huh?) I leave the dining area and enter the room with the powerpoint. As I enter I hear the loudest fucking BANG that would make the sounds from Pearl Harbour sound bliss. The thundering noise echoed through the entire house the cacophonous sound of colliding plastic made me realise I fucked I big time. I rush to the dining area and see dust, hair, meat and various other disease worthy shit snowing down like there was no tomorrow. The meat created so much pressure which made the vacuum blow harder than a fucking whale. My dad rushes to the room and asks what the fuck happens. I try to explain in such a way that I don't get in too much trouble. Ended up giving him $250 for a new vacuum and cleaned the fuck outta the room. | put meat in a vacuum cleaner. Blew my vacuum cleaner to bits. |
t3_xd36v | relationships | Having friends "choose sides" in a breakup... How do I deal/cope/explain my situation to my friends? | Me: 25/F, my exbf is a 29/M. We broke up about a month and a half ago. We were together for about 2 years. It was my decision in the end to break up, there were things that I wanted/needed that he couldn't give me, and visa versa.
I understand that in breakups, your mutual friends take sides, and choose one party over the other.
Most of my friends, supported me in the breakup. Except one couple. I play on one of their sports teams, and we spend 1-2 days out of the week together (both hanging out and with sports). However, they still interact with him, and it tends to come up when I see them, or when I see their social media profiles. I feel very immature and childish for feeling as if this is an issue. But I don't know how to tell them, that if they want to be friends with my ex, that is fine, but I am not in a place yet, where I want to have my ex in my life, even if via other people.
I don't want to make them "choose a side" per say, but I need some advice on how to explain to them the situation that I am in, and that If they want to continue to have a friendship with my ex, that I am not ready to have them as friends yet.
Any advice would be appreciated. | How do I ask my friends to "choose a side" or to explain to them my situation when they hang out with my exbf without sounding childish? |
t3_4tqspo | relationships | I (24M) want to ask my grandparents(80+MF) for aomething when theyre gone...whats the best way to ask this? | My grandparents lately have been talking like its their time to go...while thats a whole nother can of worms it brought something to my attention
You see my grandparents have this little box - its not super expensive or anything like that - thats a sort of music box
All it is is an array of bells and chimes that you flip upside down to make the noise - it has little magnets that drop small metal beads onto the chimes
I know it probably seems silly but its the only thing of theirs that i really want...whenever i visited them i always kept it in my room because it helped me relax and sleep
I dont know how to ask them for it without seeming greedy or like i think theyre a ticking time bomb or something
What do i say? How do i even bring something like that up? Has anyone else ever had to do this? Im so lost here | want to ask grandparents for something(inexpensive)when they pass...how do i do this? |
t3_24218s | relationship_advice | I [20 F] have difficulty reciprocating any kind of affection and remain passive | Hope no one minds the x-post from /r/relationships
I've previously had one relationship, and many of the problems in that relationship stemmed from my inability to actively engage (emotionally) in the relationship. I seem to have gotten better at that (though it does remain an issue), however what I didn't have to face with that relationship much was engaging physically, as it was fairly long-distance, though there were some issues in that area as well.
Now, as I've slowly been engaging more and more with people geographically closer to me, I'm realizing how horribly I react to physical intimacy, and how much it intimidates me. Even minor physical contact, such as holding hands makes me shut down, and while at the time I feel the tiniest movements are detectable and sufficient, the reality is they are not, and make me appear uninterested. Similarly with much beyond that, save for something less personal, like hugging.
I'm not entirely sure what the problem is, perhaps part of it stems from a lack of experience, being unsure if I'm doing it right. It may also have to do with a fear of rejection. | how do I stop being so passive in the face of intimacy, or perhaps even initiate? |
t3_dl2gm | cats | My cat is my mom's hero. | I got a phone call from my mom last night and she told me I wasn't allowed to have my cat returned to me when I moved into a larger place. I recently took him to live with my parents since my apartment is so small and I felt bad for him not getting a chance to run like I see him do at their house. Well the reason she doesn't want to give him back is she when she was watching television a huge spider was walking across the floor. She was starting to get nervous and called out to my dad a few times but he was outside and couldn't hear her. This is when my cat strolls in, notices the spider, and went into attack mode. He does a few butt wiggles, leaps, and the spider is struck down. She then said he took a good 3 minutes to enjoy his nice spidery treat. | My cat killed and ate a spider to save my mom from certain death and now she doesn't want to give him back. |
t3_2urkw0 | tifu | TIFU by letting my dad use my laptop | Like many posts here, this happened last week, also, throwaway because he lurks on Reddit.
My dad stopped around to speak to my mum (they're divorced), she lets him in. They begin talking about er, not sure on that, anyway, around an hour after he stopped round, I decided I was going to head to bed, he asked if he could check his facebook on my laptop. I said yes, and I made sure my Steam and everything was logged out. Next day, a few friends and I met up, I thought he turned my PC off. He didn't. I open my laptop, and on Google, and Facebook, is a bunch of anti-muslim and anti-black stuff, and unfortunately, one of my friends is Muslim, and he just stared at me.
I did patch it up with him though, and he accepted my apology. So it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Still pretty pissed off at my dad for being such a racist bigot, but hey, he's an idiot. | My dad used my laptop and now I look like I'm racist and that I hate Muslims. |
t3_xs5x0 | relationships | Advice please- I called out his best friend's name. | I (f, 24) have been seriously dating my boyfriend (m, 25- Let's say his name is John) for about 4 months. We have a really great relationship and care about one another quite a bit and have never argued, until now.
John's best friend "Tony" always hangs out with us. It's not a problem- we have all been friends for a long time. However, recently I started having dreams of Tony. Not always sexual but some have been and now I am concerned as a few nights ago I called out his name in my sleep (no I do not remember the dream).
I actually have no desire to date, or even fuck Tony. Yet John and I have been getting into silly arguments recently where he accuses me of wanting him, or if I do something different in bed he gets upset and asks if I was thinking of Tony again.
Please help. I have told John time and time again it is not like that, but I do not have a way to reassure him other than just saying I don't- which isn't working. | I had a dream of my boyfriend's best friend and called out his name in my sleep. Simply saying it was nothing is not working, what else can I do? |
t3_2tcit7 | relationships | Me [15M] with my old bestfriend [15 M] 8 years, got into argument about my girlfriend | So today while my girlfriend, bestfriend, and i were hanging out my girlfriend wanted to know if i cared about her and decided to test me by seeing my reaction to jealousy and rejection so for the rest of the time we were hanging out she flirted with my bestfriend (all playfully but it still hurt) and ignored me, quite a bit, and so when i had to leave the two went to her house and i got to thinking if the flirting could turn into more (i.e. i got jealous that my bestfriend was hanging out with my girlfriend) and i started texting him and progressively got more rude and angry with him and let her go by unnoticed. I feel like i was a complete asshole and want to fix it but dont know where to start. Me and him have been friends for a really long time and hes always been a great friend (even when my girlfriend and i thought about breaking up) but i also dont want to hurt my girlfriend. Please help me keep my friend and tell my girfriend it hurt without making either mad | My best friend and i are fighting over one of my girlfriends stupid experiments to our relationship. Please help me... |
t3_2vninf | relationships | I [22 F] befriended a guy [30-40 M] who is taken with kids on a gaming site and am unsure if he wants friendship or romance | Hi folks!
I recently started talking to a guy on gaming website (about a month ago) who lives in the same city as me. The site we met on is NOT a dating site, so it is not automatically assumed that either one of us is looking to date/hook up. We started chatting about our mutual shared interests, and soon began talking every day. He is smart, funny and good looking and pretty much great in every way. Pretty early on in our conversation he told me he has children, and then he later divulged he had a partner. This was not a problem for me as I liked talking to him, but recently things have begun developing further in a way that I am uncomfortable to go, as he has a partner.
We started IMing about a week ago, and a few days ago spoke using FaceTime. Nothing sexual/romantic was involved in either conversations, but it seems to be going that way as our conversations have taken on a rather flirty undertone. He has not outright propositioned me, or even said that he is interested in me that way, but he said that he really likes talking to me and has complimented my appearance in ways that make me think he is interested in me. Maybe it is presumptuous of me to think this, but what else could he possibly be after? Why else would an older man with children and a job be talking to a broke uni student 10 years his junior? I really like talking to him, and if he was not involved with someone else I would consider taking things further with him, but as it stands I do not want to be involved with a taken man in any capacity other than friendship. But what I don't understand is, if he wants to cheat on his partner with me, why would he tell me about her? Is he an idiot, or just supremely confident?
So, reddit, what should I do? Should I continue talking to him and pray he doesn't proposition me? Or tell him straight out I won't help him cheat on his wife? Or just say fuck it, and go for the Lana Del Rey lifestyle? | i struck up a friendship who has a partner/kids on a non-dating internet site and i'm not sure what his intentions are towards me. |
t3_3fow9g | Parenting | My daughter is coming home from her new daycare with bite marks all over her arms and legs. Should I be upset, or is this simply a part of daycare? | Background: My 20 month old normally attends in home daycare with a couple other girls her age. We've never had any behavioral issues there in the 17 months we've taken her there. She's always been a very easy and well-behaved child.
Our daycare girl recently started a new full time gig, so we have been taking our daughter to my sister in laws house for about 3 weeks for the time being. My SIL has a son who is just over 2. They see each other often since they're cousins and close in age. He's much more high energy than my daughter, and can be aggressive, but nothing that doesn't get chocked up as The Terrible Twos.
They generally get along well.
However, now that they're together 9 hours/day, things have changed. When I pick my daughter up, it's common for my SIL to tell me things like "Charlotte might have some marks on her back. Jacob started hitting her with a truck when I left the room", or "Jacob wouldn't stop pushing Charlotte off the trike today", etc.
I have not given any of this a second thought. They're both about 2. This is going to happen.
Today when I picked her up, I was told "You might notice bite marks on Charlotte. Jacob just won't stop biting her!"
Lo and behold when I got home, I started noticing very prominent bite marks all over her arms and legs. Some are bruising. There's at least six in total. It kills me to see them, and my husband is understandably pissed off.
Level with me, Parents. Is this unfortunate but typical part of kids in daycare? Or something we have a right to be upset about it? Since we've been spoiled with even-tempered girls for 20 months at our previous in-home place, this is uncharted territory for me. I'm not use to aggressive kids, let alone bites and bruises and broken skin on my baby girl! | My 20 month old is coming home from her new daycare covered in bumps, bruises and now bite marks, all from her 28 month old cousin. Is this, for lack of a better term..."normal"? I honestly don't know the etiquette here. |
t3_3dufvj | Advice | Accidentally insulted my friend, he doesn't believe me that I didn't mean it the way it sounded, what do? | I have a friend who is a stay at home dad, I think that's fantastic not only because it means his girls get a strong male role model but also because it means he's always available to play video games with.
Recently he asked me on Threema which band I liked better "Men at work" or "AC/DC". I replied with an admitted bad attempt at a joke **about the band** by saying
> i like men \*who\* work better, but ACCA DACCA is pretty sweet.
No sooner had I pressed send than I realised how he was going to take it and started trying to explain myself. But it was too late, the damage was done and he now thinks I think less of him because he's a stay at home dad. He's refusing to talk to me. What do I do? | Told a bad joke about a band, causing my stay at home dad friend to think I was belittling him. What do? |
t3_1auyzi | BreakUps | i'm an asshole who left his girlfriend (both 20s) | we were dating for about one year. lately, i started to took advantage of her loving me so much, so i was neglecting her a bit, and she was rarely my first option in planing my day (i realized i was acting like this after the breakup). i knew that she'll be sad when we don't see each other, but i knew she'll forgive me. all went to the point when i realized that she is very sad in this relationship, and wish to leave me, but she couldn't only because she loves me too much. few days later, i left her, because i thought it will be better for both of us. but since that day i'm devastated, and i can't think of anything but her. i really want to get back with her, and i now that this time words won't be enough, so i want to do something for her, something romantic and crazy to show her how much i love her, and that this time i mean it for real. i want you to help me with ideas and suggestions because right now i'm very down and sad, and can't thing of anything good. (sorry for bad english) | i want her back, so please help me with some romantic advice |
t3_1u7g0d | relationships | Me [17 M/F] with my Dad [40 M/F] Butting heads | So my dad has had a history of fighting with me and my siblings, especially my older brother which escalated to severe violence and large family conflicts, but that is a different story. It may also be worth noting that he is a "recovering alcoholic" but binge drinks usually after conflicts. He also has a ridiculously short temper and no room for criticism. He is also extremely close minded as to the point where if I told him I were atheist (which I'm not he would probably kick me out of the house. which he doesn;t live in)
My dad and my mom have a relationship where he will leave the house whenever he wants and my mom is okay with that, he spends money on himself, a lot of money, but does help my mom with us.
Anyways, Lately my dad has been reallly aggressive towards my habits of playing video games and not working yet I hold a solid 4.0 GPA and am involved in too many extracurricular activites to be able to work anyways, he most certainly knows all of this.
Today I was in a bad mood and he popped off stating how I'm useless and how he wants me to report on him in 2 days how much money I have made from plowing snow. I take his insults and never say anything back unless it is yes or no because if I don't he'll destroy all my belongings and electronics ad just won't end up well. I want to settle this as easy as possible. I have plans to get a job after my winter sport is over and save up to possibly leave the house after high school (I won;t be going to college because of financial problems) Should I just try to avoid problems as best as possible or is there anyway to reason with someone as close minded as him | Father becoming verbally aggressive towards me because of no job and habits need help. |
t3_2renjf | relationships | I AM ANGRY. He [26M] cheated on me [25F][6 mo relationship] and I want to do something about it. | My boyfriend of 6 months cheated on me last week, lied about it, broke up with me two days after the deed, and then came clean and told me that he cheated the day after he broke up with me. He threw things at me like "I don't deserve your love" and "You're better than this". Cliche bullshit. I am pissed off. I am hurt. And he's happy as a clam and is already slutting his way around town.
**Things I really want to do**
* Fuck up his car to the point that it's totaled (something serious but subtle so that it can be blamed on "bad luck" instead of me).
* Rig his toilet to flood the first floor of his house (again, could just be bad luck...).
* Start a smear campaign to let all his friends know he's a cheater.
* Punch him in the face.
Now I understand that I should "take the high road" and the "best revenge is to be happy" but that is so damn unsatisfying. I've never wished someone so much ill will and it makes me feel sick. Can I pull the crazy ex-girlfriend card without regretting it? Even just a little bit? | I want to go full crazy-ex and make his life as miserable as I feel after he cheated. Hold me back, bro. |
t3_dzl69 | relationship_advice | Long distance? | throwaway cause I know people on reddit
**Backstory:**
I went to another town for Halloween its about 6 hours away. I had a great time while there. I danced with one particular girl and got a kiss and her number as we went our separate ways. I called her later that night and we met up @ about 4am and stayed up talking and fooling around until 10 when I had to leave. We both were really into each other and I have **never** felt this way about a girl before. I've only had one girlfriend before and that was 5 years ago in HS.
I can't stop thinking about her. I can't believe someone like her even exits but at the same time I don't know if it is myself crushing to hard or if it is legitimate.
Right now I would be more than happy to be in a relationship with her but I don't know if its plausible. Ive always talked poorly of long distance relationships(when single) saying things like it wont work/ too much temptation blah blah blah. I know there are people who can make it work from a far distance like this but not sure if I can.
I know I/we can handle the situation on our own but I just want some input from someone with a little more knowledge/exp than myself.
Thanks!! | Met a girl like no other I have ever come across. I feel like I am falling hard but am not sure what to do about the distance between us. :( |
t3_vcsna | AskReddit | Need some advice on buying an external USB HDD. | Dear reddit.
I recently modded my play station 2 console to run home brew applications and play station 2 titles (that I legally own) from the USB port in order to preserve the lifespan of the system, and to have some fun while unemployed. Although it is possible to run applications (emulators, ect.) from a standard USB flash drive-- the performance is pretty bad-- because of this, I've decided to store my games on an external hard drive. Lets get to the point: I'm looking for an external, USB 2.0 HDD with a max price of 50 bucks. Sounds easy to find, right? well, New egg has one available for 40, all else bust. Ontop of that, I'm not sure what the power output of the | Looking for USB external HDD with own power supply/and/or can run off Y cable on |
t3_1q0faf | relationships | How do I stop myself from checking on my ex's facebook from time to time? | I am 21F, he is 25M, we were together for 3y and he broke up with me last christmas, I have moved on since (moved on = don't hurt/angry/sad when I think about him/memories of us) but because his facebook password is my name (still is, even after his r/s after me ended), I will still log in to check how he is doing. I started doing so after he texted me about 10mths after we break up to "find out how I am doing" but I gave him one word replies because I didn't see a need to talk to him/don't think exes can be friends..
I know he is currently single and actively trying to chase a girl and I am not jealous or anything, I just have a very bad habit of logging into his account. I try to stop myself and I manage to hold up for a day or so before I crumble. I don't have him on my facebook either...
I know I deserved to be called a bitch by the reddit community as this is a violation of privacy, I know it. I would like to have some past experience advice of some sort, how did yall cope not knowing how your ex is doing? | checks up on ex by logging into his fb cos the password is my name, would like to hear some past experiences and how you stop yourself from doing so. |
t3_4b6b4i | relationships | Me [23 F] with my classmate [27 F] of a few weeks, she keeps intruding on my space at the library | Hi everyone,
I am just looking for an outsider's perspective on how to address my classmate's somewhat intrusive behavior. I gave one of my classmates my number so we could text each other before our first test with study tips. I regret this, because things have gotten a little weird, and there are only about 8 of us in the class so I can't just try to hide from her.
I work full time and am taking biochemistry at a community college. Twice a week I head straight from my work to the library to study before my night class. I literally get text messages like, "I saw you in the parking lot, where are you sitting?" and even if I ignore them she always finds me and has questions about the class that don't help me learn at all, often times she doesn't let me finish explaining or researching the answer. This distracts me a lot and wastes valuable time since I am a busy gal, I really prefer to study alone. She has joked about how I'm her personal tutor. She will also sometimes butt in on my studying and then ramble about things that are going on in her personal life. I get distracted by noise so I really can't study well somewhere else like a Starbucks, plus the library is free and located right by my lecture.
I frequently get text messages from her asking me for videos that could help her, or with questions that she has about the material.
I truly don't think she has bad intentions - I think she works hard like I do and is confused by this class, and is maybe just kind of lonely with poor social skills. Can you please give me some advice as to how I can set some boundaries without being mean? | Classmate won't stop bothering me in the library when I am studying, how can I politely tell her to give me some space? |
t3_4t7waj | Advice | I've been out on a few dates with my girlfriend, we've only been going out for a few weeks. She's invited me over her house this week, possibly to meet her family. I really don't want to. How should I respond? | We're both home for the summer with our families. I've never met her family, and she's already invited me over. She said she wants to play video games or watch a movie. I don't know whether or not her family is going to be there. But honestly, I don't want to meet them yet. We've only been on a couple dates over a few weeks. I'm kind of afraid she'll make some kind of sexual advance, as I don't think I'm comfortable enough around her yet. I'd also have to explain to *my* family that I was going over to my girlfriends house, with no idea as to if anyone else was there. She said if I had plans, then it's no problem to say no. I kinda want to say no, but I don't want to feel like a dick. | I don't want to a) have to meet her family, b) have her make a sexual advance way too early for my comfort, c) explain to *my* family that I'm going over her house and that I don't know if anyone else is there or d) turn her away, and feel bad for lying and wasting a potentially nice evening with her. What should I do? |
t3_bv83q | relationship_advice | How to be sweet with that significant other? | I am not good at english, don't be mean please.
I am a emotionally insensitive 22 years old male. Recently I've been dating this girl who is the exact opposite to me talking about emotions and how we express them.
To be fair, she is the most wonderful girl I have ever met, smart, cute, funny. Yesterday we "had to talk" and she tried to break up with me since I am not expressing my feelings with words. I've been showing my feelings the way I have show them all my life, using actions instead of words. I walk her home, try to protect her and help her when she need it even if she don't ask to.
Yet I have no idea how to tell her how much I love her without sounding fake. I mean I don't even change my voice tone or facial expresion when I say so. I don't know what details to have, what things to say and how do to it anyway.
I would like to be expressive as her but I don't know how. Can you teach me how to emule those expressions? | How can I learn to be sweet? |
t3_34ykdm | relationships | Me [24M] with my GF [22F] -mental anguish over her behavior before relationship | My gf and I have been together for a little over two years. Around the year and a half mark, we broke up for a month. For the past half a year now I've been trying to earn her trust back - she thinks I am going to end the relationship at some point in the future again and is scared to fully commit.
Aspects of our relationship are amazing and better than ever. However, we haven't had sex since being back together. Our sex life used to be incredible! We're getting there and I'm being patient, learning a lot about myself on this journey.
The problem: Whenever I do start thinking about us not having sex, I inevitably start thinking about guys she has had sex with before being with me, and this thought fucking tortures me. This thought gets me really angry. She is so innocent and wholesome and nothing she ever did was that bad. I just get jealous of these other guys because they've never put in the work I have. How do I not get jealous over this?! | Thoughts of my gf's previous sex life anger me. HELP! |
t3_1fuznc | relationships | My SO [22M] doesn't want children but I'm positive I do [22F] | I've been with my boyfriend for three years, living together for one and a half. We agree on a lot but when it comes to children, we're definitely not on the same page. We'll see a family in public with an upset baby/toddler and he'll groan and say "ugh, why do you want one of those?"
His parents were/are miserable and they place a lot of blame on their children. He's certain children will ruin his life. My parents were surprised with my sister and I but still made the best of it and had a blast raising us. My boyfriend can't see past the "burden" of children and when I ask about it he sighs and says, "well... I guess it's your choice."
I'm afraid I'm going to wake up one day with a miserable husband that resents his kids. He doesn't have any ambitions that children would interfere with, doesn't want to travel or "experience life", etc. I've been avoiding this conversation in depth because I know what my choice is and I feel wrong trying to force him into being a family guy. I realize we're still quite young yet but it feels a little dangerous going further into a relationship not agreeing on a very important aspect of life. | I want children in the future, boyfriend thinks children are a burden. What do? |
t3_2r8nim | relationships | I'm (23/f) concerned for my god-daughter (1/f) | My cousin (25/f) and I (23/f) were best friends growing up and when she was born, she asked if I wanted to be her child's (1/f) god-daughter. I was flattered and always felt protective over her in a sense because her father (24/m) is not the best dad in the world. He cheats on my cousin and doesn't pay much attention as a dad. He's a "one leg in one leg out" kinda guy. He's always threatening to leave and is a part time dad in my opinion. He's around when it's convenient for him.
Anyway, I had a baby a few months after she did so we meet up 1-2x a month for play dates and such. I have noticed that her daughter is a very dirty kid but she is wild. She gets into everything. I just assumed that when she comes over (which is normally late afternoon), that she's been busy all day. She always has a clean diaper that I'm aware of and doesn't smell too bad. Maybe sweaty sometimes. However, as they were leaving today, my cousin says "Well, we need to go. This one hasn't had a bath in almost two weeks". I thought this was just a figure of speech, but it was apparent that it wasn't. I said something along the lines of "Haha, that would be gross" and she said "No, she doesn't really get dirty and she's so young, it's fine".
I'm really concerned! Not giving your kid a bath even once a week is abusive in my opinion. Maybe abusive isn't the word. I don't know! I bathe mine every other day, sometimes every day if she poops herself. I don't know what to do without offending her or ruining our relationship. This is not acceptable to me. Any advice? | Found out cousin doesn't bathe her kid enough. |
t3_20wl1f | relationships | How do I[31M] decline a business partnership [29M] offer without burning a bridge? | I'm in the process of starting a localized business, and was contacted by someone that has a similar business in another part of the country. We have yet to discuss specifics, but he is offering a partnership, which would include access to his established software, business contacts, and his experience.
While it is a great opportunity, I have taken a test run of his software, and don't love it. I would like to develop my own, but his, along with his branding, is something that seems non-negotiable. I would like to have a relationship in which we bounce ideas off each other, and he has mentioned that this would be an option, but is really trying to sell the partnership route.
My question is, how do I politely decline this partnership offer without burning the bridge? I get a feeling from him that he is very proud of his software and branding, and anything alluding to a rejection of it will be taken as an insult. He does have experience in the industry, and I am very interested in this, but not to have to deviate from the path I would like to take the company. | Approached by someone with experience when starting my own company, unsure how to decline partnership offer without offending and ruining chance for further relationship. |
t3_2ynjps | relationships | BF [22M] and I [20F] haven't had sex in 5 months | My boyfriend and I are in a dead bedroom kind of situation. We've dated a little more than a year, but for the last 5ish months there's been zero sex. I think it started because he was stressed, looking for a job after he graduated and I was stressed going through final exams. Now, we just can't bring ourselves to be intimate.
We've had a few conversations about it, and he always comes back to "I don't really know what the problem is" and gets sad. I'm sad too — but I feel like I care about having sex more than he does at this point. I've also gained a good amount of weight since the start of our relationship (he has too, but not as much). If it really was a weight/attractiveness thing, a part of me just wishes he would say so. Now I'm at the point where I feel so self-conscious (I already did before) because I feel like he's not attracted to me anymore. I'm so sad. We love each other a ton and we're intimate in other ways (we spend every night sleeping together), but the sex thing just seems to be this huge barrier. Posted here rather than r/deadbedrooms because I feel like maybe this is a fucked-up relationship issue..? Throwaway account for obvious reasons :( | We're young, we love each other. Why can't we have sex? |
t3_3y9qmn | tifu | TIFUS By booking a flight wrong | Hello reddit, I actually just realized my mistake about 15 minutes ago.
For Christmas this year we were given a couple of weeks off from work, so I thought it would be nice to go on a vacation with my boyfriend since he missed out on the vacation I went on a month ago (he doesn't have a passport).
I booked a "last minute" flight for us on the 23rd, would have the bf open his gift on the 27th and we'd be flying to our destination the morning of the 28th and be back a week later for our first day of work. I was so excited and talked at great lengths with my mother - telling her how excited he will be since he wants to show me his home province so badly, etc.
Well, as I was laying in bed tonight I decided to check and see what time we would be back home at, to know if work the next day will suck or not (by being tired)... only to notice the return date listed as "Feb 3". Thinking to myself, "that's not right" I ran downstairs to check my computer and confirm and found out that I don't know how to read dates: I had booked our "perfect vacation" a month *later* than I intended.
So I'm in tears right now since I don't know what to do. We move into our own place on Jan 15, so money is going to be a bit tight, plus of we go on this trip we miss *another* week of work. If we don't go then I lose $3000.
I don't know if work will let us have the days off, I think I'm going to send a text to my immediate boss tomorrow and see if she thinks it'll work.
I feel like a complete idiot now and am scared that it's not going to work, or will cause big issues now with work or our living situation. | booked an expensive vacation a month later than I thought. Might have trouble being able to get yet another week off of work to actually go now. |
t3_2xx55y | relationships | Does she like me? Please help! | Met this girl in one of my classes at the beginning of this semester (college). Before we even talked for the first time I caught her looking at me a few times. When we talked for the first time in class it was such a smooth and easy conversation. She seems to be a somewhat shy girl but when she talked to me she seems to open up a little bit more. Anyways.... lately I have been catching her looking at me quite often so I have taken this as a sign to initiate conversation after class, which I have been slowly getting better at. I do have a feeling she likes me, and I really like her even though we have probably only talked to each other for a total of 30 minutes haha. Things about her: seems shy, gorgeous, hard to approach her. Also someone told me that she is not easy to get as in she is not the kinda girl that will sleep with someone on the first date (which I respect)
These are the problems I am facing: She never initiates conversation, pretty terrible at texting back (almost don't want to even text her anymore), and pretty shy and kinda unapproachable.
Is she playing hard to get? Is she nervous? Maybe she is afraid to show she likes me? Girls do these things right?
Do you think she likes me? How do I take this further? We have no mutual friends. The only opportunity to approach her is through classes. What should I do!?
ANY FEEDBACK HELPS THANKS | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_215b2t | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] Just had a massive argument, not sure what she wants from me. | Basically my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight today. I've sincerely apologized to her, but she keeps saying that she can't trust me, and that my words don't mean anything, that I have to prove it to her in actions. She wants me to fight for her, to change her mind, and to show her I care. My words and what I say just aren't getting through to her
I'm going to send her some flowers (or another gift (ideas?)) tomorrow, but I feel like I should be doing more. I'm honestly lost as to what else I should be doing with regards to actions. I'm terrible at deciphering this sort of stuff, any insight would be greatly appreciated. | Got into huge argument with my girlfriend. Unable to figure out what I should do next. |
t3_267ob5 | tifu | TIFU by leading a guy on | Actually last weekend, but I still feel bad about it.
I just moved to a new city so I've been going to Meetup events. There was a house party on Saturday, so I put on my dancing shoes and headed over. The party was fine, lots of 20-30 something nerds playing beer pong and eating snacks. I wandered outside and found some people eating a sandwich (in the [How I Met Your Mother] sense), and decided to join them. One of the guys was cute, not really my type, but at a party full of strangers I decided to talk to him.
Fast forward a few hours and a few sandwiches, the party is dying down and this guy wants to go to a diner near his house for waffles. I decide (maybe stupidly) to go, as does one other guy. So we go to the diner, I order cheese fries and immediately become unimpressed by anything else. Waffle boy asks if I want to go back to his house, he has a *fancy* sandwich there. In my defense, he wasn't making any obvious advances, I guess I thought maybe it was just friendly? In more likelihood, after drinking and smoking for hours, I just didn't think anything at all.
Predictably, back at his house he starts laying on the moves and I realize I am just NOT interested in that at all. It wasn't his fault, I just wasn't feeling it. I made excuses and left and now I feel like a huge bitch. I know I'm under no obligation to sleep with him or whatever, but still, TIFU. | Met a guy at a party, talked for awhile, went to a diner, went back to his place, rejected the hook up, went home. |
t3_1kse16 | relationships | [25M]He's leaving for a trip soon and I[22F] want to break up with him. Before or after the trip? | We have been dating for a little over a year and a half and he is leaving for a trip soon with his family. I won't put too much details, and will change some info just in case he lurks into here.
Our relationship has been great, we get along, and I have imagined a future with us together. However, I just feel like I haven't been one of his top priorities as of late, and there has been a lot of problems that I feel like won't be solved between us. Once again, I won't go into TOO much details, but if you guys ask, I'll provide the information.
So, the question I am asking is, should I break up with him now or later? I feel like if I break up with him now, he can either enjoy his time where he is going, OR we would depressed and start drinking and smoking in the foreign country. If I break up with him after, I feel that during the time I am just leading him on, and he believes that he is coming back home to his girlfriend when she is actually going to leave him.
I don't know Reddit. What do? | Soon I break up with my boyfriend now, before his trip or after his trip? |
t3_25qq8r | relationships | Me [15 M] with my friend [15 F] 4 months, I need some advice on whether or not to ask her out. | I asked her out on the Friday that began Spring Break, but promptly learned she was out of town for a distant relatives funeral for the majority of the break. I want a relationship and want to ask her out again, but I am honestly more afraid of her saying yes than no, mostly because I think the date would be uncomfortable since I haven't seen her face to face in a while (I switched schools recently).
Would this be a bad mindset to go into a relationship with? I haven't had a serious relationship, and haven't been on a "date" since 7th grade (9th grade currently). Should I ask her out? | Want a relationship, but am more afraid of the girl saying yes than no. |
t3_1wbcyq | relationships | Problem with STD in social circle... Need advice | I'm 32/M and was in a poly relationship with a woman I'll call "YP". YP is 26/F and married to a 26/M. YP and I dated for 1.5 years but the relationship ended 6 months ago on a very toxic note. During our relationship, YP and her husband both contracted Genital Herpes. This was discovered after YP's husband had an outbreak. We were all tested, only I came back negative.
This issue I'm having is that since YP and I split, she has pretty much become the local sex organizer. She's organized and hosted a number of sex parties/orgies... I know for a fact that both YPr and her husband have had sex with over a dozen of my friends in this circle. A few of these friends I really care about and are still a part of my life.
I really want to say something to these friends but I have no proof other than my own experience. I am certain they are both infected. I feel like anything I do will just be stirring up the toxic nature of this dynamic though and I'm sure both of them will deny it anyway. Should I even say anything to my friends? Is there anything I can do to protect my friends without stirring the pot? | Ex-and her husband have genital herpes and are having sex with everyone in our social circle without informing them. |
t3_2rtz3c | relationship_advice | Are my [f26] feelings normal or unhealthy after a break up? | Background: I had been infatuated with the guy [26] for two years before he finally reciprocated in December. After getting together he went nearly NC for two weeks. He admitted it's because he couldn't make his illogical feelings logical (?). He admitted to jerking me around while he figured it out, told me he has trust issues even with his family and that he was crying over this. I jumped to super care mode and told him I wanted him I wanted to help and I was all in if he was.
He wasn't. He came over and dumped me on Saturday. He told me i was more emotionally invested in him and he'd realized that when I texted him these things (yes, my bad.) I told him to leave and that was that. I went NC and deleted him from everything.
How I feel now: Now I am stuck. I clearly idealized this boy. I think about him and the break up all day all the time. I can't stop. I think about how I messed up, how he messed up, how to try and fix it, how to stop thinking about him, how to get closure, should I apologize for being too needy, how I am never going to find someone etc. I didn't have these intense of feelings after breaking up with my last BF after 6 years.
Question: Am I going crazy? Is the amount I am thinking about the break up unhealthy? I feel like I can't help obsessing. I do have an anxiety disorder that flairs up when I am stressed. I have medicated the last three nights to sleep. Should I seek help for my constant intrusive thoughts?
I really need someone to provide some advice. My family and friends are not within physical distance right now. | I had a short lived relationship with a guy I had liked for years. After the break up, I feel like I am obsessing too much over the break up and I am unsure how healthy or natural my feelings are. |
t3_1af0ic | relationships | [22M] unsure about feelings for [19F] | I've been seeing her for a little bit over 2 months at this point. We get along amazingly well, have a lot in common, and always have fun whenever we're together. After our first date it felt like we had known each other for years, which is something I never had happen with someone. When we're together everything feels fine, but when we're not I keep having thoughts of breaking up with her. I really don't understand why, and it really doesn't make a lot sense to me. I'm terrified of ruining something good because I'm an idiot and don't really understand why. | Unsure of what I want and freaking out about it a little bit. |
t3_12x9eb | relationship_advice | What do I do now? [21/m] I broke my social skills | Well as the title reads I broke my social skills, here's a quick story of my life, born-raised-good student, bullied as hell (0 friends until middle school) , found some friends became bully , got a gf (fun times), became born again Christian (left my bully friends and gf), 5 years of being a christian and now I find myself extremely unhappy... I don't have any "true" friends, I don't have a girlfriend, I figured out it is probably me.... so how do I get back out there in the making social interaction scene? It's been 5 years of knowing the same people who don't appreciate me, they don't even speak to me during events, they look down on me etc, and I never had to use any social skills cause I always had something in common with the people I knew (in church), I've tried to get a gf and got shot down a couple of times, I seriously don't know what to do... I don't care for boasting but I try to be honest all the time, I'm always on time, I'm nice to everyone, etc, your regular GGG ....so what do I do? | how do I get social skills ? |
t3_4wwcfc | Dogtraining | Teaching An Apartment Dog To Go Out? | I have a ~4yo Chihuahua (8ish pounds) mix that I adopted from a shelter a couple years back. She's sweet as can be, loves attention, and is very well behaved for a former stray.
The thing is, for 2 years I lived in apartments that necessitated going out on a leash for bathroom time. Now my boyfriend and I have moved to a duplex with a large front yard and I was so excited because my dog loves to just lay outside and do nothing for extended period of time. She's been in my parents back yard and would sit out there so long I'd have to go pick her up and bring her in or she'd overheat!
A put a long 20ft lead (stops about 6ish feet from the sidewalk but let's her reach most of the yard and run quite a bit). If I put her out there, she is perfectly content to just stand or sit in the middle of our front walk and watch cars go by, or sniff the air. The only issues are A) unless I walk around and have her follow me, she often won't go to the bathroom and B) the moment I go inside, she comes and sits by the door (not crying or anything, just patiently waiting to be let in).
She never has a problem going out alone at my parents', doing her business, and finding a good sun patch to sleep in, so I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong? She seems to look forward to the lead, waiting patiently where she knows she's supposed to for me to put her harness on.
I don't want to eave her our there all day, but we have a living room that overlooks the front yard and when the weather is nice, I thought she'd like to sit outside for 30 min to an hour. | My dog is kind of dumb and doesn't know how leads work. |
t3_35g2i3 | tifu | TIFU by reading an FU while driving | Big shoutout to /u/xkonatax for the [balloon FU](
basically I was reading reddit while i was drivng home from school (we're reviewing for stupid exams) and then this story came up.
I read about balloons, I like physics so I wanted to check if my own car would do the same. I opened the window (stupid) and tried to picture a mother's day balloon.
then gg because i rearended the car in front of me. I don't even know how to do insurance stuff ... the guy just said something along the lines of "these dumb teenagers" and left ... at least i wasn't texting though, I remember bad stuff from the permit test
stuck in the middle of the road right now in my car ... you're supposed to get out but it's too cold (future FU here maybe) | reading reddit, red light, crash bang boom whimper |
t3_287dv3 | relationship_advice | [21M] with friend/girlfriend (20F) is blowing hot and cold, says she needs time to think and is texting previous partners. Feeling a bit lost. | Recently I started talking again to and spending a quite bit of time with a girl I used to know from high school. I began to really, really like her and because we were hitting it off so well, I figured she was into me as I was her. So about 6 weeks ago I finally got up the courage to talk to her about how I felt, and she said "she needed time to think" and had feelings for me too but wasn't sure if she was ready for a relationship. She assured me that she would let me know how she felt as soon as she did.
We've continued to talk (and text nearly constantly) and hang out since as if nothing happened. She's quite a tactile person, so she likes a fair bit of physical contact but as soon as I try to take it any further she shuts down. Which is very frustrating! She also has a habit of talking about her experiences with other guys, which she must no is hard for me to listen to considering my position.
Ive tried to bring the subject of "us" up occasionally, but she just keeps deflecting. Over the last week or so she has started texting and talking a lot to some guy we both knew from high school. He was a typical jock character back then and I know she has slept with on more than one occasion. Im beginning to feel like I've been led on and misled, which has really done no favours for my self esteem.
1. I really have no idea what to do now, but I suppose my main options are:
1. Bring the subject of us up more directly, and outright ask her how she feels and if anything is ever going to happen.
1. Admit defeat on this one and move on
1. Continue on like normal
Any advice from you very knowledgable group of people would really be genuinely appreciated! | Girl says she needs time to think, 6 weeks and counting. |
t3_x9yau | self | Shitty neighbors. | So the people who live below me are in their 30s. All 3 smoke. Not just cigarettes, but also weed that smells like my butthole. I took toilet paper, wiped my ass, smelled it, and it was that. I'm fine with all that, if they did it once in a while. Among them they seem to smoke every 3 hours including late into the night. This means I have to close my windows because all that smoke goes directly into the apartment.
Dumbass number 1 apparently had a kid with Dumbass number 2 (who lives there, poor fucking kid), not married of course, and Dumbass number 3 is some Seth Rogan sounding fellow who seems to live there and I don't even know if he actually lives there. Not only do they get their ass smoke in my apartment, but they are loud as fuck when they go into their patio. I can hear them talking about bullshit with the windows closed. Whatever, I can deal with that. But then they do it at night sometimes too. Especially weekends. Well they're allowed to keep it up until 12 a.m. so it's all good. No, of course they do it past that time.
I'm only 21 yet I'm apparently more of an adult than them. | I'm either posting a passive aggressive note on their door or pissing on dumbasses through my window. They're always drunk, maybe they'll enjoy it. |
t3_1fd8ty | offmychest | Rejected from job, feel cheated. | Basically after working a trial shift at a popular coffee chain I was rejected. Of course i wanted to know why, so i asked.
She replied with something along the lines of 'lack of presence, in n these times you could have asked if anything needed filling' and 'lack of confidence when approached by customers'
first of all i need to say the above is bullshit. i was out back 90% of the time washing up and when i wasnt out back i was clearing tables and wiping them. it was a very busy day so i was doing this continuously. so freaking excuse me if there was a lack of presence, i was hard at work out back and around! what do you want me to do! and the rare times i waited a couple of minutes for some more tables to finish, i disctintly remember asking if there was anything else i could help with, even at one point asking to help with a delivery.
the same applies to customers approaching me, idk, maybe no customers approached me BECAUSE I WAS SO BUSY OUT BACK? but thats not the only thing, /I/ approached customers! i held solid conversations and small talk with them! no problems at all!
so i think these 'problems' that clearly werent problems, is just her polite way of saying i didn't talk to the staff members enough.
but that's so unfair it pisses me off. how do you expect me to show you my personality and be talkative when i'm so busy and you have given me the busy task.
this makes me feel extremely cheated because i thought i did really well when they told me i was the only one that did a lot of work on their trial. now i realise i would have been better off having hardly any work like the others, cause i could have talked with the colleagues and maybe attempt to get them to like me. like the ones who got the job probably did. i hope those people fail and the lose the job when they realise they cant cope with a busy atmosphere. sorry but i do.
this is probably a petit first world problem but god am i so fucking frustrated with this. it is so unfair. | was busy on my work trial and this gave me a disadvantage becuase i couldnt talk to my colleagues and show them my personality |
t3_36cpn8 | relationships | I [21M] am having issues with jealousy, need help! | Any and all help would be greatly appreciated. I am [21] young guy who has had one serious relationship (2.5 years) but I have had issues with jealousy. Whenever the girl I like has guy friends I get a bit funny about it. It has gotten as silly as her meeting guys at the gym, it makes me feel odd and jealous and I don't really know why. I really don't want this to happen and was wondering if anyone had experienced this and knows of ways of dealing with it. I trust the girl I am with completely but I just get into my own head about it and cause issues that aren't there. Thanks for all help in advance. | I am having jealousy issues I can't control and need help |
t3_3wwmmu | relationship_advice | I [19m] met this girl [19f] two weeks ago, I want to tell her how I am feeling about her before Christmas break...[Update] | [Original post](
Ok, so about an hour ago I had her in my arms, literally. We were just finishing up an episode of our show we started watching together (white collar, 10/10 would recommend by the way). And I stopped Netflix from going to the next episode so we could talk for a bit between episodes like we normally do. Literally right after doing this and as I was turning my head as if to talk to her (I was actually going to kiss her) she announces that she needs to go. She explained that she needed to study for her tests some more and needed to get to bed early (even though she had no tests tomorrow, it is totally understandable, its finals week after all). So naturally that kinda put a stop to my plan to kiss her.
I lightly attempted to get her to stay for 10 or 15 more minutes, but she insisted that she had to go. I walked her to her car hugged her goodbye for what could be the last time ever. You are probably saying, "How stupid is he, you should have kissed her when you walked her to her car!". Believe me I thought about it, but she needed to go and that would have only made her stay yet longer, and that is not when I wanted to kiss her anyway. We discussed trying to get together one more time before the break, but I honestly don't know if it will happen.
So here is what I need to ask this time. What should I do now? Hope that we see each other one more time? Give up and just let her go? Try and meet with her to say goodbye before she leaves and kiss her then? Should I call her and talk with her tonight, or another night?
Damn me and my ability to catch the feels, and for not acting fast enough on them. | Had the girl, was gonna kiss the girl, girl had to leave, didn't get to kiss the girl, don't know if I will see the girl again, don't know what to do. Damnit. |
t3_3oi02j | legaladvice | [Warner Robins, GA] Can my landlord enforce an automatic renewal clause on my lease agreement? | I have a lease agreement ending October 26th for my apartment. The landlord requires 60 days advance notice of ending the lease or moving out and I only gave the landlord 45 days. They say I need to pay rent until November 10th. In the lease agreement, there is an evergreen clause that says the lease will automatically renew until they are given 60 days' notice of intent to terminate the lease.
The lease was drafted in 2012 and in 2013 Georgia passed a law limiting evergreen clauses specifically in GA Code 13-12-2 (2014), which to summarize basically states that an automatic renewal provision needs to disclose it clearly and conspicuously on the rental agreement.
On my lease the renewal clause is written in the same font and text as everything else. In Lewis V. Citizens & S. Bank (1983), The Georgia Court of Appeals held that contract terms were disclosed "clearly" and "conspicuously" if they were in boldfaced font and in all capital letters. The provision in question is neither of those things, and when it was drafted, they couldn't have been following the law since the it was released a year later.
My question is if this clause is void in light of GA code 13-12-2 and what are my options if they try to enforce it? | My landlord is trying to say I owe them money beyond the terms of my lease using an out-of-date automatic renewal clause. |
t3_dzt2j | AskReddit | Ex that wants to stay in contact... (sorry for the repost) | Ook, uhm I don't really have any friends left in my old city. With the ones i do have left i really don't ask them for there help or opinion about anything to do with career or relationship. For the simple fact they don't know shit, and every time i ask them they have no answers, so i want to ask you oh great hive mind!
I broke up with my.... she broke up with me over the summer. There is no point of me to get into the whys. So it was pretty hard on me because it was my first relationship especially because it lasted a year. So for the past few weeks I've been handling it really well thoughts about her weren't creeping in as often. And i was starting to enjoy "being alone again".
But one day i jump onto facebook and see a message, i thought it was a message from my hippie friend about an article on here about the bullshit of homeopathy. But it was my ex pretty saying I'm sorry for how i broke up with you, i want to see how you are doing... I quote "i know your prolly mad at me, and im a little mad at u but i want to make up. I want to apologize for my wrong doings and im sorry if i hurt u".... Then of course it goes into I woundering if you want to talk again...
So yea i have an Ex asking if I want to still talk to her, i message her back saying whats up and how im feeling about the whole thing... But she hasnt messaged me back yet... | Ex messaged me saying she wants to be friends, i said sure, she hasnt messaged back... Is she trolling or am i stupid? |
t3_or974 | AskReddit | Self-Injury Question | Hey guys, when I was younger I went through some emotional trauma, and ended up cutting myself quite alot. I've got 40 scars on my wrists, but they've mostly faded, besides the basic lines of course, and 20 on my upper arms. Those on the upper arms turned into something worse unfortunately, in the form of very thick keloid scar tissue. As a result of this situation, I've avoided going to see the doctor for many years.
My question is this: I really need to go see a doctor to take care of myself, but I don't know how to address these issues in front of them. I'm sure as soon as I get a physical, I'm going to be asked about the very obvious scars on my arms, so what do I say? Do I lie? Do I tell the truth? What kind of insurance implications might this have, either now, or in the future?
Thank you in advance. | Former self injurer with obvious scars needs to know how to deal with questions that any doctors might ask, and if there are any insurance implications if I tell the truth/lie. |
t3_1bap7k | relationships | I[18M] have feelings for a girl[18] that I used to go to school with, but I'm starting to like her best friend[18F] as well... | So, I've known that first girl, K, for about four years. I always thought she was cool, but I only started having these kinds of feelings for a few months. A couple of months after the feelings manifested I told her how I felt. She kinda brushed them off, but we're still friends.
She has this best friend, N, who's also really cool. I met N about six months ago, and I instantly thought she was really cool. I had a slight crush on her right away, but nothing that I thought was serious.
A couple of months ago K moved out of state, so I only talk to her via facebook and texting. Luckily, she just turned 18 and came back to town to visit. The two of us decided to hang out while she was here. I was freakishly happy for weeks. Now, we're hanging out this afternoon, but last night she suddenly tells me that N will be joining us.
This whole time I had been planning to evaluate how I feel around each of them separately, that way I could make a choice and stick with it. However, I don't know how to handle both of them at the same time. I talked to my counselor about my problem (not about hanging out with both at the same time, I didn't find out about that until after my session) and she says that I should ask K for permission to pursue N. She theorized that part of the conflict in my head is that I feel a devotion toward K and that I feel like I would be cheating on her in my brain. I really have no idea how to handle this, it was tough enough when it was just gonna be K.
If anyone has advice on what I should so, it would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance. | I have feelings for two girls, they're best friends, and I don't know how to handle being around both of them at the same time. |
t3_vi0l8 | AskReddit | Broke up with my girlfriend because she didn't feel attracted by other guys. Did I do right? | I've been with this girl for about 1 year. Today I told her something about a funny porn movie I've seen (that was supposed to show two naïve girls having their first experience together and then they did weird very porn-ish stuff with their foot) and she told me she thought I didn't watch porn. She said that, once with me, she didn't feel anything for porn or any other guys. And she started judging me, saying I was attracted by other women and that it wasn't cool. I said "but most of the times I watch porn I think about you", and she replied very ironic: "oh really? What about those two girls of the movie you said? Did you think of me and my doppelganger?". I told her it would be ok if she watched porn thinking about having sex with two guys at once, that it wasn't really a big deal, it was actually healthy.And then she asked me if I felt attracted by others in the streets. I said "slightly, but I just think of them as beautiful, I don't really get aroused or interested". She started crying and told me she didn't even notice any men in the streets. Then she got mad and ask me what would I think if she was "slightly" attracted by her boss (he is a handsome guy, indeed, saw him a couple of times), I said "it wouldn't be awesome, but as I trust you, it wouldn't really matter". She said she sees no one but me and I felt horrible that she was sad about my normal behavior (I can't pretend I don't ever fap thinking of other women, but I'm very faithful). I said that I couldn't handle that she is completely in to me, reproaching sexually normal conducts that I see as healthy, so I broke up with her. Half of my friends said I just did something terrible and that they'd kill for what I had. It all could also be a lie, but due to her familiar "culture", I think it's genuine. Did I do right, or am I a freak? | girlfriend says she can't even watch porn or recognize a guy is handsome because of her feelings for me, I broke up with her and now I'm not so sure. |
t3_1a8z6v | dating_advice | Friend (21F) and I (M20) kissed, and now I haven't heard from her | I met her about a year ago, and we really hit it off. She had a boyfriend and was transferring schools, but we kept in touch all year. A while after she and her boyfriend broke up, she and I started talking more. Skyping and chatting online, and everything was great, we really clicked well. She told me she loves talking to me and wants to see me soon.
Anyway, she comes to visit to see a bunch of her old friends, and she tells me that she's seeing me for sure. She can't wait to see me, ect. We hang out all day together, and then before she leaves she and I kissed and agreed it was long overdue and we'd both been waiting to do that for a while.
A week after she left, we skyped and she was talking about me coming to visit with another one of her friends. I asked her if she was going to be my valentine, in a flirty sort of way, she said yeah, and then I called her on V-day. I thought that would be a nice thing to do. She didn't answer or get back to me. I give it about three weeks and haven't heard from her, so I text her saying "we haven't chatted in a while, lets Skype!" She agrees, and makes plans for the weekend to talk to me. The weekend comes, and she's no where to be found again.
I'm very confused. I don't know if I overwhelmed her, or what happened. She seemed to be very into me, very excited to see me, wanted to see me again, wanted to talk to me right after she left, and then she just vanished. I'm not sure what else to do. She and I have been friends for a while, and I really like her. I don't know if the context of our relationship changed, and then visiting seemed like a huge deal and it freaked her out or what. Any insight? | Kissed my friend, tried to keep in touch and she won't talk to me. |
t3_fyq3y | relationships | How do I help her self-esteem? | This is my first time posting so tell me if there is something I forgot to mention or if I did this wrong. Thanks.
rRelationships I need some advice. My amazing girlfriend has really low self-esteem. We have been dating for a while and she revealed her insecurities a few weeks ago. It seems the sources of her problems are distant parents, lots of bullying when she was younger, and a boyfriend who kissed her, felt her up, and then dumped her a few years ago. I really want to fix her self-esteem, and with my help she feels a little better. She has body dysmorphic disorder because people have always told her she wasn't beautiful enough. She has never had anybody to confide in before me, and I want to help her with her insecurities. What should I say/do to/for her? | see title |
t3_kygii | self | My boss is a bully | I have a side-job that I work at a few hours a week, and I absolutely love what I do and love the people I work with. Being part of that community makes me happier than anything else in my life right now. The only problem is that my boss is unethical. She's not always around, but when she is, she treats us all like garbage. She has a terrible temper and bullies everyone who works there. A few people have left because of this, but she will never learn. She also doesn't pay us what she owes us, and often doesn't pay us on time. I'm sharing this because I saw her yesterday and she made me feel really low. I normally defend myself against her but I didn't yesterday because she was raging so much that I felt like she would fire me. If she ever did, I would be incredibly miserable. I don't know what to do. | I love my part-time job more than anything, but my boss bullies me (and everyone else). Not sure how to handle this. |
t3_2r3c01 | relationship_advice | I (22/f) accidentally overheard my SO (24/m) talking about some messed up fetishes and I don't know what to think/feel | Me and my SO are in the process of getting back together. We dated for a year and a half, broke up two Thanksgivings ago, and rekindled this Christmas when I was home.
ANYWAY--
So last night I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom at his house, he had a few friends over, who all left or fell asleep on couches, and his best friend and him were the only ones still up hanging out upstairs. So the bathroom has this vent where if the air/heat is not running, you can hear everything the people upstairs are saying.
I guess they thought I went to sleep or something and they were talking about porn. Ya know, whatever. But then I hear my SO say "I would rape her face-- I would love to face rape her" or something along those lines and I freaked out.
Dumb move-- I listened more. And it just got worse. Found out my SO's fav/secret fetish is when underage women give their bodies over and are "total sluts" and he loves when "they're not into it at all". Great.
I feel gross sleeping next to him but I was drinking so I can't drive. Also he is super drunk and I want to talk to him about it when he was sober.
I'm going to bring it up tomorrow when his friends are gone, but I don't know how to feel, I just feel disgusted and I want us to work out. Am I over reacting? I fucking watch porn but why does underage rape porn have to be his fav? Plz help. | getting back together with ex, but overheard his love for underage rape porn-- send help |
t3_1hm1mc | relationships | I have slightly different relationship problem, with my brother, who I don't want him to get into bad drugs.. without him knowing that I'm trying to stop anything. | I think I should start with background, so you understand the type of person he is. My brother is in his early 20's, nearly finished with college, (the same one I go to, but rarely see him), and he lives of campus in the city. Around the time he started college he smoked cigarettes, weed and drank alcohol. He was not crazy about it, he was like a lot of high schoolers from my area, but cigarettes is a bit more than most. He turned into a no it all who thought he knew what was best for him and it's hard to think of him handling himself without lettng his on pseudoscience get to him and cause him to do stupid things. He is also pretty spacey.
So, I first off really want t stop him from smoking cigarettes. He does not know that I know this and if I were to reveal I knew and tried stopping it, our family would shut down and he wouldn't speak to me and god knows if it would even stop him. The weed and alcohol thing I can handle, but I'm concerned about other things. While he is certainly no stoner and maybe does weed once in a while, I have my suspicion that he has done other things, maybe E. Thankfully there are no signs of cocaine, heroin etc.
However, I really want to stop the cigarettes and any further expanse into the drug territory, without him knowing that I'm trying t stop him. Does anyone have any ideas on how this is possible? I'm with him this summer for 3 or so days a week. I rarely see him outside of when we come home together, since we do go tthe same school and have the same schedule.
So, any advice at all, even the smallest tips would make a world of difference. Thanks. | Brother already does some stuff. He doesn't know I know, I want to suppress him from doing anything as much as possible without him knowing I'm trying. Are there any tips for this? Anyone have experience? |
t3_droso | relationship_advice | Tricked on OkCupid, how do I proceed? | So this girl and I had been talking on OkCupid for a few weeks. We had a mutual 4/5 star rating and she winked at me. Right off the bat, she was not *really* my type in terms of personality but her pics were okay and honestly I've been pretty lonely, so I figured, what the hell, could be an interesting fling.
Fast forward to last night, after about two weeks of messages I start pressing her to meet. We've developed a decent rapport at this point and I figured we'd have a pretty good time if we went out. She says that she would also like to go out some time but she then confesses that the pictures on her profile are not really her. She said she wasn't trying to be deceptive, but that she is just paranoid about having her pictures up on this public site ಠ_ಠ.
At this point I should have said, fuck you, that isn' t cool and blocked her, but after two weeks of talking to this chick I just had to see what I was really dealing with. I said it was no big deal and that she should send over her real pics. As you may have already guessed, she is **very** unattractive, and not just unattractive, but the photos themselves were additionally unflattering (making a really unattractive face etc).
My question is, how should I proceed from here? I don't want to just not reply at all, but I'm not sure what to say. I mistakenly told her that tricking me was no big deal, so now I really don't have a viable escape route. What do you guys think? | Talked to a girl for 2 weeks on okcupid, she now admits the pics on her profile were not her, I said no biggie, but upon recving the real pics I see that she is extremely unattractive and I'm not sure how I should handle it. |
t3_4evd6z | Advice | Should I quit my part-time job to go full-time as a mechanical engineering student [long read] | So not sure how to start but my issues are more about personal issues I'm dealing with my girlfriend and her family. How does that relate to my question? Well, I got accepted to a state university in California for mechanical engineering. Although I should be rejoicing this admission after not doing so well a few years back at another previous university, I am rather contemplating whether if I should transfer out due to circumstances. I'm currently living in my girlfriend's parents and her parents are not exactly the best support group I have right now but are at least helping me be at a better state economically. My parents can't support me financially because of their health issues so it was best that I seek to live on my own. Due to this, the girlfriend decided to let me live with her family. Now, to why they are not the best support group? Well, to start out they want me to be on the look out for my gf. Taking her to work and picking her up regardless if I have homework the next day or need to catch on sleep; the issue is I don't have a car so usually either walk to her job, bus it, or get an Uber to get home after picking her up. I work a part-time that is normally between 25-35 hours per week (depends how busy we get) while going to school full-time right now in computer science at my local community college. Her stepdad is strict so if I do see my parents(which live about 30 miles from where I am now and takes 2 hours on public transportation one way), I am not allowed to sleepover. My brothers ask where am I and I just say I'm so and so place. My dad covers for me whenever they are more demanding to know where I'm at. Lastly, since the gf is on paying back her student loans, I'm not sure if me quitting my part time job will upset my gf and piss her stepdad because I doubt he'll be supportive of me going to school full-time and not working. I just want to succeed in school but I'm afraid to fail miserably again after my plan to go to pharmacy school went to disaster the first time I was at a university. Sorry for the long read. | I want to go full-time for mechanical engineering but highly doubt the gf's step dad will not approve of me not working. |
t3_mha1a | AskReddit | Give me some lies to feed to random strangers. | A little backstory you've all heard this one before: Dead end job, struggling to go through college, girlfriend just dumped me after a year of dumping all my friends for her... I've really got nothing to lose.
So tonight I want to be different. About a year and a half ago I lied to a group of girls while I was out with a few guys from work, I told them that one of us just passed the bar exam. For the rest of the night I was lying through my teeth,and backing up my friend's wild lies as well. It was great, as shallow as it sounds, to feel like I was someone I wasn't. We've all wanted to be someone else, if only for a night. Yeah yeah, save your moral gibberish... this is for fun. | social experiment, I want to be someone I'm not for a night. I'll tell different people different stories and that I work for different companies... and tomorrow I'll tell you all about it. Help me think of wild lies to tell people. |
t3_130prt | AskReddit | What have your parents done that you don't think you can ever forgive? | When i was 7 years old, my stepdad had his second child with my mom and changed into a complete dick. He was in charge of taking care of me while my mom worked during the day and he worked nights. He did many horrible things, but the incident that stuck to me the most was one day I wasn't allowed to eat for the entire day. He and my brothers were cooped upstairs and he said he was gonna buy us McDonalds but only bought it for them. After an hour of me crying from stomach pains associated with hunger, he came down and threw two french fries at my face and told me to shut the fuck up. He's apologized for it and completely turned around since then, but it's something i don't think i will ever be able to forget.
My Mom's unforgivable act was recent. I came out to her and she, as a Christian, freaked out. She tried to cope with it, but when gays were shown on the news, she called them disgusting and told me to shut the tv off. It's not as bad as my step dad, but it's fresh and it hurt lol. | Papa John and Chic-fil-a ruined my family |
t3_55191z | relationship_advice | Advice regarding new sil wedding | I tried posting somewhere else but im new so i dont know what im doing.
I went to my bil wedding last week. Hes been with his now wife since may of last year, got engaged a few months after and got married last week. Hes the kind of guy that writes goals down on paper and posts them on his wall (literally). He even wrote his #1 goal as 'getting a girlfriend '. Which is kinda sweet. Hes a nice guy. We have always got along. He went through a couple of bad breakups last year, his first gf cheated on him with her boss which we all knew it was obvious but he didnt believe it until she admitted to it. Thats just a little background. Hes kind of rushing through relationships because he compares himself to his younger brother, my husband, since hes married to me and we have a 1 year old. He said to us that he wants what we have. Although its not all like he thinks it is. Life for us hasnt been all peachy and easy how he thinks. We have been together for 6 years, married for 3.
Back to the wedding...
I was hurt that they didnt ask my son (the only grandchild)to be a ring bearer. I was under the impression that the position was taken so i didnt ask. I found out they didnt have one at the ceremony. After the ceremony they asked family and bridal party to take pictures. My son and i were completely excluded from pictures. This hurt a lot, especially because i thought we were family. Instead of breaking out in tears, i quietly snuck away and left. My husband was a groomsman so he stayed behind. He understands why i left, although he never once stood up for me or mentioned me. My mil thinks i was rude...my fil agrees that what i did was right. I felt very excluded, like an outsider.
I face them again when they return from their honeymoom next week. Any advice on how to talk this out with them? I still love my bil, i just dont know how to talk to them about it. | Went to bil wedding, was hurt that i and my son were excluded so i left early. How to make thos less awkward and not ruin our relationship with my husbands family? |
t3_ujglq | relationship_advice | [31/f] Married to [34/M] for 10 years, issue starting business together | I have over 15 years of experience in my field of work (web programming and website building, I started when I was about 14 yrs old in this business) and I am currently the sole earner using that experience to support our family. My DH is now starting his own business which I have encouraged him to do, but with the understanding that I would be maintaining the website (this is kinda my thing). Over the last month or so, I have been advising him and his partner on the creation of their website. I have had disagreements on their color choices and logo choices, things about the website basically.
At this point, they have done/wanted the exact opposite of everything that I've advised. After the last round of advice, and showing me their "changes" -- which were the exact same thing as before, I really blew a gasket. I feel like DH does not value my experience in this field. I guess I am more invested into this project than a normal client because I have funded half this project and because I thought my opinion would really matter to my DH, seeing as I currently use that experience to support our family. I feel completely ignored and pushed aside.
I have at this time decided I should probably just not be involved since we have such drastically different views on what it should and should not be. I still feel very hurt by these events and not sure how to communicate about this without another gasket of either his or mine being blown.
My question: Should I treat them like any other client? Where I will push 1-2 times for my direction, than withdraw if they persist and in the end do what makes them happy (even though I said from the start I wanted to do the website!)? If this is so, how do I put aside my own feelings when I do "feel" ignored and that my experience does not hold any value? | DH does not take my advice, even though I have years of experience in that field. Treat him like any other client? |
t3_4d22b5 | relationships | I [19/M] need advice about my girlfriend [17/F] and her friend [17/F] | For sake of clarity my girlfriend's name will be Bella. And her friend will be Claire.
I dated my girlfriend for about 7 months and then we sort of broke it off. After a few months her friend Claire and I started to become good friends and got close. During this time Bella's friend Juliet started to tell her about Claire and I's friendship and how she was suspecting that we had feelings for each other. During this time Bella started to become saddened and got really anxious over the two of us.
Around February, Bella and I reconnected and we decided to become friends. About early on in March, Claire told me she had feelings for me and at the time I felt like I returned them so I told her I did too, but I was unwilling to start anything because I cared too much about Bella still. A few days later I realized I never really had feelings for Claire, but rather enjoyed the attention I was receiving. About a couple weeks ago, Bella and I got back together after multiple long talks we still wanted to be together.
A few days ago I told Bella about Claire after she brought it up and she got really saddened saying that her friend Juliet was right. After explaining my side on how I never had true feelings for Claire and that it was mostly on Claire's side she was still saddened but wants to stay together. However, it's becoming increasingly hard for me to help Bella through this because of obvious reasons and I'm sort of stumped on what to do. Bella mostly feels bad because she feels like she came in-between me and Claire and she generally feels shitty about the whole thing. But nothing I say or do can help her and she's kind of taking it out on me in subtle ways i.e acting colder towards me. She also told me that while I normally make her feel better, my involvement in this has sort of lost that effect and I'm unable to really do anything. I'm just stumped on what to do and wondering how I begin on helping her or at least being there for her. | I date GF. We break up. Her friend begins to like me. I get back with GF she finds out. Now she feels terrible and I can't do anything to help her. |
t3_1srlr8 | relationships | Me [21F] unsure about [35M] | He and I met this past September in a University class. He found me via the class Twitter and started Tweeting me. Tweets turned into personal messages, personal messages turned into getting coffee. We've gotten coffee twice, second time he refused to let me pay and ended with a hug. He tells me I'm charming, eludes that he finds me attractive and is always concerned for my safety.
I just can't tell if he's interested in friendship or more. I feel like he's interested but there's a few factors that complicate things.
The first is our slight age gap. It doesn't bother me at all and he's always telling me I've very old for my age (which I am). I feel like it complicates things though.
The second is that he has primarily female friends so I wonder if I'm just one of them? I really can't tell.
The third is that back when we first started talking he mentioned once something about seeing someone but after that never again. It's been months since he's mentioned it and now he's talking about avoiding an ex around the University so I wonder if it's her. I don't know.
He's genuinely a gentleman and a kind, empathetic person.
I'm just really confused of what his intentions are. Any advice is greatly appreciated. I'm too close to the subject matter to really see it. | Me [21F] falling for [35M] and unsure about his feelings towards me. We've become close friends over the span of late September to now. |
t3_1tfska | relationship_advice | I [18/M] have developed feelings for one of my good friends [19/F] since arriving for our freshman year of college. She has a long-distance boyfriend she's been dating for about 4 months. Help? | For some more context, she started the long distance relationship right before leaving for college. While I didn't initially have romantic feelings for her, over the last few months we've gotten to know each other really well and I've slowly developed feelings for her. Sometimes it seems like she's interested in me as she often asks me to lunch, or to workout or to just hang out with her. Every now and then I ask her how her SO is doing and she generally just gives brief answers and refuses to go into any depth about him and kind of just brushes the questions away. I'm definitely in no way planning on interfering with their relationship as I'm glad she's happy but it seems (from prior conversations) that she doesn't really see the two of them going on for too long.
The dilemma I face is when/if she breaks up with her boyfriend to tell her how I feel. I strongly value our friendship and don't want to risk the possible consequences if she doesn't feel the same about me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! | Feelings for a girl who has a boyfriend. What to do now and if they break up? |
t3_23mj9f | relationships | My boyfriend (M23) and I (F23) are planning an engagement, but dealing with some resentment from another bride(F30) in his family | My boyfriend (23) and I (23) have been together for four years. We are planning a wedding at this point, and are "unofficially engaged", in that he is planning the proposal and has the ring and calls me his fiancee. We have started planning and have been discussing this for months.
The time frame for our engagement is tight, as a member of my family will be leaving for a foreign country in two months and we would like to celebrate with them before they leave. They will be living there for at least 2 years.
Enter boyfriend's soon to be SIL(30). She is upset that we are getting engaged before her wedding. Her wedding is the same month my family member leaves, just several days after. I had previously told her that BF was speaking to my father, had the ring, etc. She had never mentioned prior that she was upset we were looking to be engaged.
I spoke to her last night and mentioned BF was going to propose, and the engagement party would be a decent time after her wedding. She has now talked to everyone in BF's family but me about how upset she is, and I had to hear it from my BF's mother.
I know his family supports our decision, I'm just upset that his future SIL is resentful. His brother (30) is supportive of our decision, but says that her reaction is "girls being girls"
How would you respond/ de-escalate the situation? I would hate for her to feel I am "stealing her thunder", but it's really important to me that my family can share in this milestone with me. | My boyfriend's future SIL is upset we are getting engaged within two months of her wedding, but my family member moves across an ocean prior to that. I want to smooth out the situation. |
t3_2ymcd1 | relationships | Me [33 F] and my husband [32 M] were separated, decided to reconcile but he wants to remain friends with a girl he dated. | Hey guys! Please help!
My husband and I were separated for almost two years. It took awhile to get myself away from him enough to get space and try to get over him, but he never got over me. Since we have children, we had to keep contact, obviously. Well, at a major turning point I pushed him away very far and he actually dated a woman he became friends with at work. They dated about a month, he decided he couldn't stay in a relationship with her but they maintained a close friendship while he started trying to talk to me again. Well, I saw major change in both of us and decided to give him another shot on the basis that we would try hard to work things out and this other woman would go away.
Well, he hid how intimate they had actually gotten and how close they actually were and I am not comfortable at all about him trying to maintain a friendship. She's very pushy and stubborn and wants to get her way, but he swears she knows we are working things out and she has no feelings for him. Yet, I can't shake the things I know about those two and their past and don't trust them being friends. I think this would actually hinder our moving forward.
Am I wrong? | Bottom line is, while we were separated he dated someone. Now that we are trying to reconcile, they want to remain friends. Is this a bad idea, or should I get over the past and be ok with it? |
t3_4r5pzj | relationships | My girlfriend (18/F) of 1 year does not allow me (18/M) to say I that I love her, or even discuss the topic of love. | My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost exactly a year, and we had discussed being in a relationship months prior. Several times I have brought up the topic of love, and each time she has told me that she doesn't love me and that she doesn't want me to say that I love her. It's strange because she is often at times quite attached to me.
I really don't know what to do at this point. She has made it very clear that she doesn't want to talk about this. Every day I think about it. We call each other pretty much every day and every time I leave I want to say that I love her, but she doesn't want me to. Any advice would be much needed. | Girlfriend of 1 year doesn't want me to say I love her, doesn't want to say she loves me, not allowed to talk about it with her. |
t3_10lzg9 | AskReddit | My aunt died from trying to quit drinking. What's the most tragically ironic way you've heard of somebody dying? | So today I got a call from my brother saying that my aunt passed away. She was a heavy drinker and also did about every kind of drug out there. I figured she would either die from drug use, alcohol poisoning, or something of that nature. But when my brother said what caused her passing just blew me away. She was attempting to quit drinking by taking this medicine that made you get really sick if you attempted to have any alcohol at all. Apparently she had some sort of allergic reaction and it caused her death. I just couldn't believe it. Finally after all the years I known her she finally decides to clean up and that's what kills her. | My aunt passed away from an allergic reaction to a drug that's suppose to help stop you from drinking. |
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