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t3_3mrr0a | relationships | I [f20] cannot stand the feeling of my boyfriend's [m23] hands and I hate when he touches me. | I know that sounds harsh, but I'm at a loss of what to do. I'm not sure if this is some form of OCD or just a "quirk".
He works with freight so his hands become rough. He uses lotion regularly but it doesn't help.
I have a weird issue where I have extremely sensitive skin and hate certain textures - it's about 50x worse than nails on chalk board. It legitimately gives me cold shivers to think about and I will flinch when I think about it.
An example of my sensitive skin issue is that I will not continuously rub anything for more than 3 seconds, including my own skin. It makes me uncomfortable and sometimes nauseous. | I'm weird and touching things or being touched by certain things bothers me. What do I do? |
t3_338xk6 | relationships | i [19M] and i have problems when i try to meet people by my own | Hi, im a 19 years boy who has problems making new relationships .
I didnt really make a lot of new relationships since high school and i bearly talk with my old mates, i always had a lot of problems making new friends since i was a child.
the last year i spent most of my time in the computer and feeling bad about myselve without doing something productive, after i finished high school i didnt really know what to do, it was an awful situation for me and practically i lost most of my poor social skills.
fortunately i manage to catch up this year, now i do more activities, i talk more to my relatives and im way more active plus im going to start college soon, so i think im doing fine.
but i feel like my social skills in terms of meeting new people are weak, when i want to get new friends i get nervous and sometimes anxious thinking that im not going to give a good impresion or im not going to keep up in the conversation, it seems weird but its really hard for me to not think in that. | i spent 1 year doing nothing productive while feeling bad about myselve, i manage to catchup in this year and i want to make new relationships but i have issues with it. |
t3_2plheh | relationships | I'm [17 M] and I'm worried about a girl [17 F] I like | So I never asked if she was single, but when I asked her out on a date she wanted to get to know me. So I guess it was indicating she is single, eitherwise she would've been like "I have a boyfriend"?
Anyways, we met a week ago and went to the movies and talked a bit. I walked her home,hugged her. We text everyday, I usually initiate the convos, but I'll only text when I feel it's necessary.
I asked her again if she wanted to do something, didn't say hang out or date, she said yeah. But now I'm wondering how long I should continue on until I ask her on a date? The thing is I have a lot of feelings for her, I like her a lot. I know its soon, but idk what to do.
I tried twice, the first time I met her and a few days after when we went to the movies. She said the same response. So when can I tell her without making me sound needy, how much time should I put in this? | In love with this girl, met her a week ago, we went to the movies together, paid for her ticket, and then I asked her again yday if she wanted to do something with me again. But when should I ask her on a date? The thing that's stopping it is she says "I wanna get to know you more". |
t3_z4y8u | AskReddit | I just got bit by this tick. Worried about Lyme's. Is there anyone here who's seen a lot of these and can help me out? | Here's the best photo I can get of the tick [ ... I have it in a plastic bag and it's alive. I can't tell whether it's sucked up any blood. By comparison to diagrams it looks like it could be a nymph of any kind of tick that has just started feeding. The legs look about nymph-sized but the body is bigger.
[Here's my size comparison against a diagram I found.] Mine's the one in the red square. I took a photo of it next to a dime, layered over the diagram in photoshop and scaled my photo to match the dime in this diagram, so the size should be pretty accurate. I'm having a hard time seeing the exact coloring.
Any thoughts? | probably not a big deal. Thanks for all your input :) I'll update if it becomes serious |
t3_35fhhm | relationships | My s/o [22f] saw on my [26m] phone that I had viewed a NSFW gif on reddit and now feels as if I don't think she is attractive. | She saw a link that was purple (viewed) of a gif titled "squeeze tits and ride dildo" or something similar. I had a feeling she noticed the purple link at the time but she did not confront me then. Later in the day I could tell she was upset and I asked what was bothering her. She told me that what I looked at on reddit upset her.
She said she feels as if I don't find her attractive or desirable if I look at something like that. Which is clearly untrue, I find her very attractive. Im just not sure how to convince her that me passively viewing a gif like that does not mean what she thinks it does. I tried to save face best I could but just wasn't sure how to explain it. She's still currently upset with me.
How do I explain that me looking at a gif means nothing? | Girlfriend saw I looked at a porn gif and now thinks I don't find her attractive, what do? |
t3_4igg18 | relationships | I [48F] am tired of being her [48F] emotional fluffer since high school, last straw finally dropped | I've been friends with J since Grade 11. For decades I actually thought she was a good friend but I have been waking up to reality. Really, she just wants an audience while she moans about her problems. I essentially provide her with free therapy, and I get *nothing* in return. She doesn't even pretend to be interested in my life, and we hardly ever actually do things or have fun. It's mostly just these hour-long dumping sessions.
A pattern I've noticed is that she'll call me all upset about not having a husband or boyfriend (her all-time #1 priority in life), vent for a while, and then when she's feeling better, say she has to go because she is meeting some other friend to do something (something fun). Hence the "emotional fluffer" term - she uses me as a trash can so she can be "on" for her other friends.
This was the last straw: In the midst of yet another session, she mentioned that she had a dinner party last weekend and she "invited all her girlfriends". Yeah, "all", but somehow not me. *And then she fucking tells me about it.* Like if I don't count as one of your girlfriends, can you fuck off with your problems? Go tell THEM about it.
I'm done. I want out. I wouldn't even care about hurting her feelings except for having a baseline level of humanity. But I also do not want to deal with her bullshit. Can I just, like, ghost on her? | I want out of a bad 30-year friendship. Can I ghost? |
t3_1dqv3h | relationships | My [f21] boyfriend [21] gets upset with me when I don't want sex. | As the title states, my boyfriend gets upset when I don't want sex every time that he does.
We dated for a year and a half before breaking up for a few months and recently getting back together.
It's gotten to the point where he will close himself off emotionally and become very flat and sharp with me.
When we sat down and talked about it, he said that when I don't want sex it makes him feel rejected. He also says it bothers him how emotional he gets about it.
The thing that hurts me is that I barely ever say no to sex (I can count maybe five times) so I feel like he's being immature and selfish by getting upset with me. When he does get upset it makes me even less attracted to him.
I'm also worried that because we have such an intense physical relationship, that might be the only reason he wants to be with me. When he gets upset when I say no, it only reinforces the idea in my mind. :/
I guess my question would be, how do I handle it when he gets upset?
Has anyone else had experience with differing sex drives? | Boyfriend gets upset when I don't want sex, even though I rarely reject him. |
t3_2t3me5 | relationships | I [early 20's] made an anonymous report about drug use/selling at my old job, and now I feel afraid for my security. | This account is a throwaway for obvious reasons. I'm very, very afraid right now and I would appreciate some advice.
I asked to be fired this week because of the awful work environment. It's a restaurant.
Then after seeing lots and lots of situations of drug use/selling inside the building, and everybody knows that this is strictly forbidden, I decided to report it anonymously to the police, and now I feel very afraid of anyone suspects that I made it.
The problem is: I just called emergency and the policeman wasn't very polite. I kept saying that it was anonymous and that I didn't want any details of myself included. And I didn't give him any. But the number is always recorded when you call, and my voice is easy to recognize and if they manage to get the recording I'm totally screwed.
They have my address because of the admission paperwork, and I confirmed my address when I went to ask to be fired this week.
Even though, everybody knows my car type and it's brand new, and I feel very afraid they could be pissed about the report, suspect that it's me, and could wait for me to show on the area and then put me down.
Just adding as reference: I don't do drugs. Never did.
I'm just very afraid and have no one to talk about it.
Did I do wrong?
Any advice on this situation?
Thank you very much. | Made an anonymous report about drug selling/use at my old job, they have my address and I'm afraid they could suspect it's me and put me down. |
t3_4sw40h | running | Affordable shoes? | I realize there is a strong correlation between the price of running shoes and the quality of the product. However, I'm a broke recent college grad scraping by on a minimum wage job, and my budget doesn't allow for Asics, Brooks, or Hokas more than once a year. I bought a pair of Brooks Ghost 7's in late February/early March, but they have been hurting my feet recently. They are my running, work, and everyday shoes, and I know it's frowned upon to use your running shoes for things other than running, but I don't have much of a choice right now. I've been doing between 9 and 15 miles a week since January after three years of not running because of college, and I've found that I underpronate/supinate a little bit. The only shoes I've tried on that feel good for my gait are the Asics Gel Nimbus, Brooks Glycerin, and Hoka Odyssey. Granted, I haven't tried on many running shoes living in small-town Mississippi with limited sporting goods stores with specialty running shoes around and even fewer specialty running shoe stores. Bottom line, can anyone suggest a website to get deals on "last year's model" or perhaps quality, lower priced alternatives? | Broke recent college grad in rural Mississippi needs shoes for minor underpronation; where can I get cheaper alternative quality running shoes or perhaps find deals on "last year's model?" |
t3_1au07x | relationships | How can I get my [21f] friends to accept my relationship [15m]? | So, I [21f] met my boyfriend [15m] on social networking site over a year ago. He's the guy of my dreams and we're very much in love.
However, my friends are very rude whenever the topic comes up - they condescend the age gap, the way we met, and the fact that we've never been able to see each other in person. The one that keeps coming up is them mentioning "babysitting" whenever we Skype call with each other. Then, when we're talking, they'll wander into my room and basically harass and distract me. I feel like they rub in the fact that they all have boyfriends who live near them because they talk about them all the time.
My mother and his mother both accept the relationship - why can't my friends? I've tried to tell them that he's very mature for his age - he gives great advice, and, for a 15-year-old boy, he's very curious about sex and isn't uncomfortable talking about it. We're both virgins, and that isn't a problem for either of us.
I don't understand why my friends are so opposed to this. It's not like he's tying me down. We've agreed that, because of the distance between us (I'm from New York and he's from Illinois), it's okay for us to date outside of our relationship. (We haven't, but the agreement nullifies their argument that this relationship is preventing me from having a "real college experience."
I've brought their behavior up to them before, but they just kind of laugh it off and continue what they're doing.
He's the love of my life, but they don't seem to understand that, and it's really getting to me AND him. He's getting frustrated just hearing about it , and I'm sure it's hurtful to him too, even though I've refrained from telling him some of their more scathing comments, especially regarding age.
Is there ANYTHING I can say to them to at least get them to treat my relationship with respect? | My friends are very rude and disrespectful towards my online relationship [21f, 15m] and I don't know how to convince them to at least treat me (and him) with respect |
t3_14b1z6 | personalfinance | Questions about past defaulted student loans, "rehab" programs, and credit report hit. | Going to try and keep this short and sweet: completed undergrad around 2005 (US - PA, from a Commonwealth University) with about ~$24k (total) in student loans through Citibank and federal loans. After graduation, my parents volunteered to cover my loan payments while I found a job (took a little longer than expected). Great, soon as I start working, I pick up the loan payments. Turns out my parents fell behind, didn't tell me, the loans go about 90-120 days delinquent. I find this out, have a panic attack, and get the loan provider on the phone trying to work out something to avoid full out default status. They tell me the loans were sold to a credit union out of state and I could enroll in a rehab/recovery program that would restore my good standing if I made X amount of payments on time (I think it was 12 monthly payments at a slightly increased rate) and they would be able to keep me out of any serious issues. Awesome, sign me up.
12 months go by, payments made on time, as scheduled, to the letter. I call the provider to see what the next step in the rehab process would require and the person on the phone kindly informs me that they no longer honor that rehab program but to "keep paying, it'll be fine". Stupid me does all the over the phone, there's no paperwork, so I really have nothing to back up my claim of a phone conversation from over a year ago. Dumb.
Since enrolling in the rehab program many moons ago, I've been paying more than the minimum payment due like clockwork but the "serious delinquent account" is showing on my credit report from 2006.
Here's my question: is that "delinquent account" going to come off my report at the 7-year mark since it's technically been in good standing for coming up on 7-years. There is still a balance and I haven't missed/been late with a payment in 6+yrs and counting. | student loan went into default briefly and has been paid as agreed since, will the negative hit fall off my credit report at 7yrs or are student loans immune to this? Also: in no way am I trying to ditch this loan, I'm just in the market for a house and car in the very near future and this credit hit could make a huge difference in both of these investments. |
t3_2zlx76 | tifu | TIFU by locking my keys in my car while it is running. | Went to grab some fast food for lunch since there wasn't much anything at the house to bring. Got to McD's and there were no spots near the doors, so I parked around the corner where the employees usually park. Hop out of car so I can get it to go and hole up in my warm office. I always do a check of things before I close the door: purse, phone, keys. Got careless and didn't finish before I swung door shut. I stood here staring as if I could undo it. All my doors are locked like a good paranoid girl. And I have been standing out in a drizzling rain for an hour waiting for AAA to get someone to me. | I was careless and now I'm super damp. |
t3_2morpm | Advice | I'm going to be staying at my girlfriend's parent's house over night for the first time. Any advice? | My girlfriend and I are in a LDR. We're both 25 and like many people our age who have piles of student loans, we both live with our parents.
I've visited twice before, for a total of 8 days. I'm planning a visit for new years day and the following weekend.
Each of my last two visits, I've stayed at nearby hotels, which in this city, even using hotwire/priceline cost me a total of $750. Before my last visit, my gf's mom offered to let me stay with them, but I wasn't really ready for that nor could I get out of my hotel bill.
Anyway, her mom invited me to stay with them this time around. I'll be in the basement, with the dog and the cats who rock, while my GF sleeps in her room on the second floor.
Here's the thing, I'm worried they're all (my gf, gf's mom and dad) concerned about sex. However, we're not really ready for that. I'm her first boyfriend, we've been dating less than a year, we've only spent a total of 8 days together in person and I frankly would like to kiss her well ahead of any sexual activity occurs. (Yes, we haven't kissed.)
Is there anything I should/shouldn't do to dispel the thoughts? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Any protips or advice would be great. | I'm staying at my GF's parents house for a week, in a separate room and I'm nervous they're worried about sex stuff happening, when it won't. |
t3_1nyp39 | legaladvice | Injured on a plane. Insurance is seeking subrogation. Do I have a claim? | First, a bit of backstory:
A few months ago I boarded a plane (in Maryland) for the first time. Because of the narrow leg space, my foot got caught on my way to my seat and I heard a crunch in my knee followed by severe pain. During the flight, the attendants were busy with a lady who had a seizure. As I was getting off of the plane in Illinois, the same thing happened. The crunch, the pain, but I could walk so I hoped it was nothing. The attendants hurried everyone off, after helping paramedics get the lady out, and I was on my way.
The next day my knee was very swollen, I couldn't straighten it and walking and standing was difficult. I decided to go to the ER. I told them how it happened and they took an x-ray. They couldn't tell me much other than it might be just a simple strain or it could be something more but I'd have to have an MRI when I got home.
Long story short, MRI confirms that I have a torn meniscus.
Just recently, I got a letter in the mail because my insurance company has turned the original claim over to The Phia Group. They want to determine who is liable for paying the bill.
I didn't realize this was a potential issue against the airline, but I believe this company is opening an investigation for subrogation. Is that something I should look into or is my insurance company just checking all of its bases?
What does subrogation mean for me? Should I contact a lawyer? I'm only asking because this will require surgery at some point and I need my insurance to cover it. | Tore my meniscus on a plane, my insurance company is seeking subrogation/reimbursement. Do I get a lawyer or let them handle it? |
t3_4wwgvv | jobs | I did not complete/submit an online job app at the step they asked permission to do a credit score check. I have a phone interview with them later today regardless. What should I say if asked why I never completed that step/the whole app? | Firstly, I have a few concerns/qualms with the fact they still called me up regardless of the fact I never fully completed/submitted the app (it smells mildly of desperation and it's only a receptionist job, no degree required or anything).
Because of some other concerns, such as an excessive "list of duties", and I've never had an online app ask me for permission to do a credit score check before, I simply did not complete the app and spent my time on different apps for different jobs.
Rather than having a broader discussion about the merits of this position, my main question is, if they ask why I stopped at the credit score check permission part, what is a good way to phrase my answer, aside from "I've never had a job ask for that before?" | what's a well-phrased answer if this HR rep asks why I stopped filling out my online application at the credit score check permission part? My true answer is, "I've never had an online job application ask for this before" |
t3_x708a | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, what's the weirdest situation you've ever had to get out of on your birthday? | I'll start with mine that happened last night. It was my twenty-first, and after a night of delicious food, live music, and heavy drinking, we headed back to my buddys house to unwind and crash for the night. Fast forward and I find myself needing to hit the head, I ask where the bathroom is, as this is my first time at his new appartment, and I go in, lock the door, and take a leak. When I try to get out, I find the door won't open. I'm twisting the lock and the knob in all sorts of combinations trying to get it to open, but no dice. We ended up having to remove the doorknob hoping that we could unjam it from the inside, and that still didnt work. I even tried unhinging the door, but while the bottom one came out relatively easily, the top one is rusted something proper, and with my limited array of tools that could fit through the hole in the door, it wouldn't budge. After much internet surfing and debate my buddy on the outside decides enough is enough, this door needs to come down. I ended up getting out because he took a hammer to the lock mechanism in the door and we were able to break the wood enough on one side to push it through and out of the molding. | I was trapped in a bathroom on my 21st and had to destroy the door to get out. |
t3_34dzgn | relationships | My (25F) perspective gets no respect from my (25M) boyfriend | My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately. Times are hard, money's been tight. It's had us both really stressed out. So much so that the little things are beginning to get to us.
I don't want to get into the nitty gritty of all we're fighting about (largely pedestrian household matters, with some heavier topics mixed in for flavour) but I do need to feel like my opinion is heard and respected. I'm not getting that; I'm getting shot down at every turn, and told that he's "not listening to my point because I have none", etc., etc.
Aside from this being (in my opinion) an unkind way to react to an SO's viewpoint, I also feel like it's counterproductive.
My question: Does anyone have any thoughts/advice on talking to deaf ears? I'm starting to think he thinks this is a waste of his time (and thus his treatment of our talks/my feelings). Maybe I'm wasting my time....idk anymore. | feeling like valid emotions are being discredited because they're inconvenient. |
t3_49892p | tifu | TIFU by making my girlfriend laugh | This actually happened last weekend but it took me this long to get her to allow me to post it. A little back story which is relevant. Apparently when I drink I swallow louder than she likes and it really grosses her out. Anyway, on to the story.
We were sitting at her apartment Friday night watching netflix and just hanging out. She starts drinking from her bottle of water and gulped it quite loudly. In response to this I naturally imitated her sound to make her laugh. Well, I got what I asked for. She began to laugh while drinking, which then turned into her dribbling some water out of her mouth. Whatever, its funny, we've all been there. I was not prepared for what happened next.
After the small amount of water dribbled out she continued trying to laugh which caused her to start to choke. I guess this where the karma comes in for me laughing. Once the choking started she started spitting the rest of the water out. This water was then followed by a cascading waterfall of partially digested milkshake she had ingested an hour previous. Now Reddit, this is gross, but its much grosser when she stands up out of panic and starts throwing up on you.
She was choking, vomiting, and crying all at the same time and I was at a loss for what to do. She cupped her hands beneath her mouth and started making a beline for the bathroom. Of course, she needed one more shot at me for laughing so as she ran by she threw up just a bit more right on to my gym bag.
I followed her to the bathroom and heard her sobbing and coughing and water running. I decided to give her space and clean the couch and floor and bag along with anything else she had vomited on.
It took me awhile to stop giggling because even though she threw up on me, it was still absolutely hilarious. I walked into the bathroom once I composed myself and she was still crying but laughing too. She was scared, but it was so funny she had to laugh. | Made my gf laugh and in turn throw up. Karma got me though. |
t3_fkwnk | relationships | For those of us going to college... | I am a senior in high school, who has had several serious relationships in the past. A little under a month ago, i started dating a guy that I really liked, and things are going amazingly well already. We have great communication, and I am happier when I am with him than I ever have been before. It may seem like this is premature considering it has not been a long relationship, but this is already turning out to be incredibly serious, and I am beginning to worry about what will happen when i move thousands of miles away (literally 1783 miles) to go to college in September. I know this is something that almost everyone goes through, but I don't know how to deal with this overhanging deadline in a relationship that I am so happy with. | How do you deal with the fact that your relationships are inevitably going to end because you are about to go to college? |
t3_qsasy | AskReddit | What is the best confession that you have given or heard that was not really necessary? | A few years ago, my mother called me up and said that she had just found a two page confession from my brother about how for the previous two nights he was waiting for her to fall asleep and then taking her SUV to pick up friends and head to the beach. My brother was not known for his high regards of rules (and he did not have his license at the time either), so the act of him doing something like this did not actually come as a shock to anyone.
What actually did surprise any of us was, that for no apparent reason, he actually confessed to it. Since no one actually believed that he had a change of heart at the time, my mother had asked me to try to figure out why he felt he needed to confess to something he had not actually been caught doing.
The obvious first question I asked was if there was anything wrong with the car. Other then it was a little bit dirtier, which she wouldn't have noticed anyways, there was nothing wrong. Of course we started thinking about drugs, or maybe he got some girl pregnant, or run in with cops, but we figured any of that would have been in the confession to go a long with the beach story.
I figured it out once I got in my own car, when remembered that cars have the anti-theft device where the steering wheel will lock and to unlock it you have to turn the wheel to turn the key in the ignition. When I brought this up to my brother, he admitted that when he was getting out of the SUV, he heard a click, and when he tried to turn the car back on, the key wouldn't turn, thus he thought he had broken the car's ignition.
I felt kind of bad for the guy when I told him all he had to do was turn the steering wheel to turn the key, but then I remembered he didn't invite me to the beach. | brother "borrowed" mom's car without a license to go to beach late at night, thought he broke the ignition because he didnt know you had to turn steering wheel to turn key. |
t3_3j8hm7 | legaladvice | Insurance Settlement - ICBC | Case: I am located in Vancouver, BC, Canada. I was recently involved in a motorcycle accident, I am not at fault. Bike was a write-off. I was injured, missed only a couple of days of work, but required 3 months of physio to heal injured foot. I am mostly healed and back to normal life, physically. Motorcycling was my main hobby and I am experiencing difficulty in enjoying it now.
Situation: ICBC has offered me 5k (in addition to bike value, gear replacement, wages, physio) for a settlement. I stated to them I feel this is not adequate. They have asked for a counter-offer or if I would like to wait an additional month to see what happens to the offer. I am hesitant to seek a lawyer due to past experience and do not wish this to be dragged out for years.
What is my next action?
I have never made a post on Reddit. I apologize for any poor formatting. | – Motorcycle Accident. ICBC offered 5k. Asking for counter-offer. Lawyers are scary. What do I do? |
t3_1qnsb9 | relationship_advice | [34/F] Living with (36/M) Ready for a change, but don't know where to begin. | Let's start by saying I've had a tumultuous past 2 years. I was married to a bi-polar, abusive alcoholic and drug addict (with whom I have an adorable child that I have full custody of); I lost my job and am still unemployed; and was raped by a former coworker.
In February of this year, I moved several thousand miles away with a really great, loving, family man (36/M). Non-addict, with a sense of humor and similar likes. Since then, I've worked on myself. Letting go of the past, saying positive affirmations every day, thinking positively. Took a Hatha Yoga class, also tried boxing. Trying to figure out who I am again after 7 difficult years of marriage and issues with my former career.
I'm ready for a change, again, now that I've rediscovered myself. I'm ready to start anew with just me, myself, and I. And of course my child. I feel like an idiot wanting to leave this great guy behind. He really is amazing. I just don't want to be in a relationship anymore. I don't want to clean up after him, wash his clothes or dishes, hang out with his friends. It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to share a bed with him. I feel like such an idiot about it. I just want to be alone. With my kid.
One of my best friends from high school came to visit recently. I moved away from my hometown in 2001 and no one in my immediate family lives there anymore. I haven't made any friends since moving here 9 months ago and I really miss my hometown for the sense of community it has to offer; my high school friends have kids the same age as mine. I feel like I don't fit here and want to move back home.
So here's the advice I need: How do I tell my super awesome boyfriend that I want to move away without him? How do I tell him that I didn't use him? Is there an easy way to break things off with him and avoid breaking his heart? | Ready to move forward in life without BF; unhappy, don't know how to tell awesome boyfriend I'm ready to live alone a thousand miles away. |
t3_32pxhi | relationships | My [38M] boss of 2 years is a poor communicator and I [27M] am getting fed up, how do I let him know without offending or getting fired? | I feel like this will happen a lot, and I'm sure I share a responsibility of the blame, but I find myself in situations from time to time where my boss will come to me and ask for assignments or the status of things that I was unaware he wanted.
From what I gather, he, in his mind, believes he made clear communication to ask me for them.
An example:
I sent him an almost finished concept (design), that he then forwarded (with me attached) on an email chain to someone else to look at for approval. It happened to be missing a small element that was wholly non-essential to approval.
While waiting for approval, he realized and asked where that was (keep in mind, we are all on this email, myself, my boss and the "client"). I told him I simply missed it and could update it during final build (in my work concepts are rough and get built). I heard nothing back.
A day later I got an angry email asking what was taking so long with the concept revision, and that this had to go to someone else for approval as well. I had not been told this information, and as far as I knew it was already awaiting approval by the "client" that was on the email thread with us as they had not responded.
In this case, I could have absolutely sent another update without prompting, which is where I share some of the blame, but this is definitely not the first time this has happened. I also have already written a bible long post, and am trying to shave off some more of the context which would make more sense as to why I wouldn't waste time updating a concept with a simple design element before it goes to build etc. etc.
This seems to be a common trend, and whenever I broach the subject or imply he needs to let me know more, he gets defensive. I'd really appreciate clearer communication from him, it gets incredibly frustrating. Any thoughts? | my boss thinks I'm a mind reader and gets angry when I can't play Carnac the Magnificent. |
t3_1ba2qy | Advice | mark rothko "equality" painting or??? http://imgur.com/XAGOb1o | I saw the painting first hand and it looked nothing like what people are posting on the internet. It has nothing to do with equality so why is it being used as such?
This is the curators note from LACMA.
Mark Rothko,White Center, M.67.25.21 Overview Excerpted from Los Angeles County Museum of Art (World of Art series). Los Angeles: Los Angeles County Museum of Art; London: Thames & Hudson, 2003. Abstract Expressionist Mark Rothko is known for the hovering, shimmering fields of color in his mature paintings. In his early works of the 1930s, Rothko explored Social Realist themes, including works made under the auspices of the Works Progress Administration. By the early 1940s, he was exploring Surrealism as well as mythic and so-called primitive art. By the end of that decade, Rothko had rejected the representational subject matter of Surrealism and arrived at his mature style. The color fields of White Center reflect Rothko's fascination with the emotional and visual power of the color red, which dominates his canvases of the 1950s and 1960s. The red rectangles suggest ritual and elemental associations (blood and fire, life and death), while an inner light seems to emanate from the white center, suggesting an ethereal, numinous glow. For Rothko, color was the key to a spiritual realm, evoking transcendental truths that could not be expressed through recognizable imagery. | this painting has nothing to do with equality |
t3_twr04 | travel | Advice on a Trip to Greece? | Hi Reddit! This summer mark's my mother's 50th birthday and her and my father's 20th year anniversary- and to celebrate my family was going to go to the one place she always wanted to go, Greece (Athens, Santorini and Crete.) However, with all the economic/social turmoil lately, we are starting to worry (we will be there in late June/ early July right after the next set of elections.) Is this worry valid? Is there a chance that we could be stuck there in the midst of a currency change? Will there be continued rioting/ political turmoil (i.e the continued election of ultra nationalists like the Golden Dawn?) Because of the "Grexit" will there be shortages of fuel/other supplies? Thanks in advance Reddit- my family is counting on you!! | Family has a trip to Greece, will we be there during a major economic/social collapse and should we reschedule our trip? |
t3_22f4l8 | relationships | Me [25 M] with my gf [23 f] 5 years, broke up with me but wants to stay fwb. | after 5 years being in a relationship, she broke up with me 4 days ago to find herself and see if she can love me the way i love her. but 2 days after she already got together with someone else who straight away headed to her after he found out that she broke up with me to console her. if that was not enough she still wants to be fwb with me and would like to visit me in 2 weeks. i just don't know how to handle/cope here, she broke my heart, i loved her i thought i found the one for me and then this. i would love to stay in contact with her but i doubt i could ever just see her as a friend and not want more from her which if ended in rejection would tear my heart up all over.
please i need advice, i just do not know if should break all ties with her. or if what she is doing is a rebound which wont wont last long and i still have chance of getting her back if/when she visits. | former gf wants to stay fwb even though she already has a new bf just days after she left me. |
t3_4ahtit | relationships | Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] of three years, he has invited the girl he was into when he met me to visit us next month. | When my BF met me (3 years ago) he still liked another girl, his older sister's best friend Emily (now 24). Emily had just moved to Tennessee (we live on the East Coast) and BF and her were emailing a lot. I know that Emily liked him too. I don't know if it was love but I know he wanted to be with her.
Well, Emily wasn't there, he met me and fell in love with me and last year we officially moved into an apartment together.
I know it's silly but I've ALWAYS been jealous of Emily and sometimes I think that the only reason my BF and I got together was because she was in Tennessee at the time and he couldn't have her. I've talked to him about this and he denies it and says I'm being silly and that he loves me, but I can't help feeling jealous of her.
My BF is still friends with Emily and because she'll be in the area next month, he invited her to come visit us for a couple days. Boyfriend is having a big party next month (celebrating something work-related) and he's happy she'll be here for it.
On the one hand I'm a little peeved because he did that knowing how I feel about her but on the other hand I know I'm probably being silly and I know they're good friends.
I just get sooo jealous just thinking about her coming and I really don't want to hang out with her, which I'm going to have to do. The girl's never done anything to me and I dislike her for no reason and I feel bad about that but I don't want to spend a bunch of days with her. :/
I guess I need you guys to tell me I'm being stupid and to suck it up? | BF invited the girl he was still into when he met me, to visit. I dislike her for no other reason than my own jealousy and I don't want to spend time with her but kind of have to. |
t3_36voqz | relationships | Help me [28M] make a life decision on what to do with my [24F] of 3 years. | Bit about me, I've had 3 serious relationships so far and only ever had sex with these 3 women, I have never 'played the field' so to speak and fear soon I will be too old to do so.
I've been with my 24F GF for 3 years now and she is now starting to want more in terms of marriage and what not, we have lived together for 2 of those 3 years now and it has been great. I still however always have the desire to fuck around but never have done so.
I have just been promoted in my current job and I will be travelling a lot and have a lot of money, also my old uni friends who are successful have decided to move into a massive dream house together and said I am always welcome to move in with them (they are all single and party a lot).
Now it seems is the perfect opportunity for me to live a little but it will crush my gf as we have been happy for a long time. To go from her wanting to marry me to me telling her i am leaving her will kill her. She looks after me very well, we do argue but just like any other couple. I do feel less attracted to her recently as these thoughts cloud my mind and I would be fine letting her go, but will I regret it later?
The thing is, if I was older and done all this already, I could honestly see myself marrying this girl, this is why this decision is the hardest one in my life so far.
What the hell do I do? Am I just having a mid life crisis? Should I stick it out and continue with my GF and just try to ignore the urges to want other women and all the fun I could be having? | Never had a "single life" and feel I will soon be too old to do so, now perfect chance to do so but in a relationship with a girl who loves me a lot and wants to marry. |
t3_3ukptt | relationships | [Question] GF wants me to betray her? | Hi guys,
Me (almost 20) and my GF (20) have been together for almost 1 year. She currently does an au pair job in england (we live in germany) and we only see each other during her holidays (about 3-4months between).
Last time we skyped she asked me : why dont you just have sex with the next girl u find. (Not in an ironic way, she was dead serious)
She wants me to have "fun", i have a fairly high sex drive..
I told her that I wont, and i cant betray her and she got somewhat upset and sad.. like wtf?
Does anybody have an idea?
I know that she isnt jealous at any time and she really trusts me
Is she asking to betray me just to dump me afterwards or do you think she really jusr wants me to have fun since she cant be with me?
I hope you can give me some tips.. | gf asks me to have sex with random girls i might find attractive, dont know how to react |
t3_1ysgza | relationships | I [26F] have been dating a guy [34F] for a few months, he says he's not ready | I have been dating this guy for two months. He is the one who "pursued" me first, asked me out and made it very clear that he's attracted to me. He was the one who mentioned the possibility of us being serious (asking me what I look for in a relationship, deal breakers, etc, etc.) and even hinted that he wanted to move in with me.
As for me, I was very cautious from the start because he's a typical womanizer. He told me early on that he had cheated on his girlfriends many times in the past, and tells me about his sexual escapades all the time. For this reason he's not someone I see a future with, and at first I thought this would be a short lived fling, but over the past few months I've come to like him a lot. He says that he has never been this honest with anyone and loves the fact that he can tell me anything.
Recently, however, he said he had something he needed to get out that's been killing him and proceeded to tell me that he's confused because he was not ready for a serious relationship when he met me. He says that it's bothering him a lot because he's very much into me, but a thought that he's not ready keeps popping up and he feels confused.
I told him that maybe we should cool off for a little bit, and he agreed. I am very confused myself, about his feelings as well as mine, because no matter how much I like, or possibly love him in the future, I can never marry a guy like him. A part of me desperately wants him to call me, but I know that it's for the best and I should just move on.
So I guess this is not really a question, and if it is, I already know the answer. He's not that into me, and fuck, he's a douche bag that is NOT worth my time. But I just needed to get this story out there and hear it from someone else. Any words would be appreciated. Thank you for reading this! | Dated a womanizer who just got out of a 7 year on and off relationship several months ago. Says he is confused about his own feelings and mutually agreed to cool off. |
t3_47l7vi | travel | Need advice planning a one week family vacation in Spain | Every couple of years, my family likes to take a vacation abroad with each other. We are a family of 5 and all of us have our own lives to live (I am the youngest at 25). This vacation is a method of experiencing something new together while getting to see as much of what Spain has to offer as possible. I know that one week isn't going to cut it, but we want to work with what we've got. Not including travel we have 7 days (departing east coast USA), and we have an open budget.
My mother and I did some research on our own about where we would like to see for sure, but we would really like input on some of the things we shouldn't miss out on during our time there. Please note that we aren't really beach goers, but do enjoy a lovely view over the sea. We love the outdoors and wouldn't mind a hike or something as a part of a day trip. That being said we all have an appreciation for art, architecture, and history. As for dietary restrictions, all 5 of us are vegetarian (we eat eggs; no fish or other meats).
Typically, we have done our vacations as a DIY. We like the freedom of going to attractions as we see fit (ie, not really interested in tours unless they are *highly* recommended).
As for what we *know* that we want to see and where we want to go... We want to hit up Madrid, Seville, and Barcelona. We also want to see the Alhambra in Granada, and would like to have a day trip to Toledo/Segovia/Cordoba if possible (one or two out of those). Ideally, we would start in Madrid and take it from there. | 7 days + travel time (May 14th- May 22nd) for a family of 5 vegetarians (all 25+ yrs) in Spain on an open budget. We like the outdoors as well as art and architecture. We want to see Madrid, Seville, and Barcelona for sure, as well as the Alhambra in Granada. If possible, a couple of day trips to Toledo/Segovia/Cordoba. Any ideas on itinerary or should we try to cut back? |
t3_3fxunk | relationships | My [21M] girlfriend's [19F] best friend's [19F] brother [20M] just drowned and she's taking it really hard, but I never knew him and I don't know how to help her. | Sorry there's a lot of names in the title. Basically, my girlfriend and her best friend have been close for a very long time, since they were little. My girlfriend is white and her best friend is black, and my understanding is that they didn't spend too much time with her friend's family, but they were definitely familiar with each other.
I think the biggest source of pain for my girl is seeing her best friend hurting so badly after losing her brother and knowing she's helpless, meanwhile I feel the same way because I don't know how to help my girlfriend. She called me crying and I only met the young man who died a couple times, so I can't say I was close with him (though he was a good dude). I knew his older brother better, because he was my year in middle/high school and I had a few classes with him, but that's irrelevant.
Anyway I know this is super vague but I don't know what my job is here - how do I offer support for my girlfriend? Like I said I don't think she knew him very well but she cares deeply for her best friend. | Girlfriend's best friend's brother died, she's taking it really hard, I don't know what to do or how to help. I didn't know him well. What's my next step? |
t3_2euso3 | tifu | TIFU by keeping my knife and phone in the same pocket | This happened this morning.
I'm a freshman in college and this week is the first week of classes. So everyone had been introducing themselves to each other and making friends and whatnot. This morning, I woke up a bit late for my 8:30 am class. So I'm tired and rushed and I accidentally grab my pocket knife along with my keys, wallet, and phone. Whatever. I put it in my pocket with my phone and run out the door.
I get to class on time, but the room is packed. So I take a seat next to a random girl and we get to talking. She seems pretty nice so I decided to ask her for her phone number at the end of class. As I reach for my phone to pop the question, I realize my knife is on top of my phone. I can't fumble my phone out of my pocket since I'm sitting down in a very crowded row of chairs. So instead, I just take my knife out and put it on the desk.
She kinda gasps and grabs her bag and runs for the door before I can even explain. | I tried to get a girl's number, but pulled a knife on her in the process. |
t3_1h0mho | offmychest | I hate my best friend. | Like. A lot. The things she does just bother the hell out of me. Nothing too personal to intentionally piss *me* off, but annoying enough to just want to slap her in the face and be like "WTF is wrong with you?!"
First of all, she's very smart (mostly just book-smart) and she had marvelous grades in high school which got her into a very nice college. I understand this may start to seem like jealousy, but she earned her accomplishments and I know it. She worked so hard and deserves to have the opportunities that she has. But the thing is she is so arrogant, needy for affection and is unaware of other peoples struggles and difficulties.
We have different backgrounds growing up. She had parents who were constantly involved and she spent a lot of quality time with her parents. I, on the other hand, was sent to day care as soon as possible because my parents worked a lot. We are both almost 20 years old, yet we have different levels of maturity like no other. She can't do her own laundry or cooking, has never had a job, and expects her friends to be ready and willing to hang out at the drop of a hat.
Then there is me, who works part time all year round, goes to school full time, has bills to pay, and helps around the house as much as I can. I feel like she doesn't know how good she has it, but at the same time I feel like she shouldn't have it that good. At least not anymore. It's very irritating to me to watch how babied she is at home and then have her tell me how stressful her life is. Are you kidding? There must be something I'm missing because other than the rigorous program she is in at her University, she has no other responsibilities.
Still, we remain friends because we are both generally unlikable people. I can't really imagine not being friends with her because there are times where I don't actually mind her company and we have a good time together. But there are also times like now I just don't understand how we are still friends.
I'm sure this will just get buried, never to be read by anyone, but damn did it feel good to type it all out. | My best friend is ignorant of the idea that there is such a thing as working hard outside of college classes. |
t3_2eqqy2 | offmychest | Motorcyclists, PLEASE | I'm sorry, motorcyclists, I really am, but some of you fuckers need to learn to drive your god damn bikes. Most of us learn to ride a regular bike when we're around 5, and one of the most important rules is to stay **AWAY** from cars because cars can kill you.
SO WHY ARE YOU SWERVING TOWARDS ME ON A STRAIGHTAWAY??
I'm driving a several thousand pound metal tube going 55+ mph straight at your several hundred pound death machine, going the same exact speed, but I'm pretty sure that my death machine will win this battle.
So why the swerving? I see the "Watch Out!" signs just like everyone else, and I watch out for you guys, can you at least watch our for the cars?? I get it, you're having fun riding your bicycle that now goes really fucking fast and you're hardly wearing any clothes, and it's a nice day. But seriously, I can KILL YOU on accident!
We each get the same exact amount of room on either side of the road. I can manage to keep my tank-sized vehicle in the tiny space, why can't you keep your tiny bike in the tank-sized area? | Please, motorcyclists, for fuck's sake stay in the middle of your lane |
t3_2krz7k | relationships | My [21M] girlfriend of 5 months [21F] is considering moving away for a job, I don't know if I should and how I should be supportive | Background: she's been working at a shitty job for years now and hates the idea that she's working outside of her intended field where she got her bachelor degree.
When she first mentioned the idea, I said it would be awful but I support her. As the night went on I don't know how to feel about everything.
She's in a slump and is impatient and wants to run away thinking her dream (junior position) job can be found somewhere else with barely any effort to look here. With a bachelor's she can't do much and I can't comprehend how it's worth it leave a person behind like that to find a job that isn't even a serious position. It's not fair yo her, but I told her I would never be able to do something like that myself because people are more important to me than some job. | Girlfriend considers moving away because she's stuck at a shitty job and I can't help but feel like she's being selfish and it's hard to be supportive. |
t3_21953j | relationships | My (22F) boyfriend (23M) of 3 months said, "I'm falling in love with you last night", HOW do people respond to this, how do I know if I feel the same way? | This is my first relationship. I'm not weirded out that he said this. I mean yeah, it seems really really early. At the same time, I've never gotten this close this fast to anyone before, and we both kinda had a thing for each other for a couple years. How will I know if/when I'm feeling what he's feeling?
He's had several long term relationships, so he's not new to this. But he said the feeling he has now is different than what he's felt before and that he's never been the first to say something like this, so it's not quite fair for me to use the "inexperienced" cop-out.
I thought I was in love with someone once, but I think now I was just confusing being hurt with love (ie I must *really* care about this person to be so affected by their actions and keep coming back time and time again no matter how badly they treat me).
I feel really silly and embarrassed asking questions like this but what does being in love feel like? And what can I say in the meantime while I'm figuring this shit out so that he doesn't feel like I don't care? | Title pretty much says it |
t3_rxpi7 | AskReddit | Does anyone know how to get rid of keloids? | So about 6 years ago, keloids started to form on my chest spontaneously. As a female, I feel that they are very noticeable and unattractive. I usually don't worry about them too much, but occasionally they do itch really badly, and sometimes I get uncomfortable sharp pains. And when people do bring them up(usually strangers...), I can't help but to feel extremely self conscious about them. I mean, I really don't want them to be the first thing people notice on me. I wouldn't say I'm an ugly girl, I honestly think I'm pretty decent looking, but the scars do make me feel very ugly... I've also noticed that since I was younger they have been getting bigger, which is supposed to be a normal thing with keloids, but it's still kind of frightening. I've been looking up different treatments online, and it seems that even going to the doctors to get them surgically removed or steroid injections is pointless. So I decided it was about time I ask reddit, in hopes of finding an actual cure, so when I do get the money to get rid of these scar I know I'm not going to spend hundreds or thousands on treatments that won't work or worsen the current condition of my scars. | I have keloids, is there an actual cure that doesn't suck? |
t3_1meogs | relationships | How can I [22F] teach my Asian boyfriend [20M] English without messing up our relationship dynamics? | We've been in relationship for 2 years and we communicate exclusively in English. Neither of us are native speakers.
I tried to help him with English at the beginning of our relationship but it was just awkward. He was too stressed and embarrassed to make any mistakes in front of me, and I didn't want to make him feel bad so it was just a waste of time.
But he's taking an English exam now which is important both for his future job and for better communication in our relationship.
I want to tutor him. I think I would be good for the job, especially because I know him so well and I know which mistakes he makes most often. Of course, I never do and never would correct him while we are actually having a conversation.
But I think I could help him while he's studying. I don't see the problem really, he knows many things I don't and actually he speaks other foreign languages while English is the only foreign language I know, so I don't think I'm superior to him in any way.
How can I offer to help and how can I make it clear that he's got nothing to be ashamed of? | I want to tutor my boyfriend in English without coming off as better than him. |
t3_3gcp2h | relationship_advice | I [21/F] feel bad for being happy without my ex [25/M]. | I feel bad that I'm moving on with my life. I'm upset that I'm not as heart broken as I feel I should be. After five years, I barely even cried when he told me he didn't love me anymore. It's not that I didn't love him, I guess just part of me just knew. I think part of me already was prepared for it.
He was the love of my life, my everything, so why am I not completely devastated? I planned my life with this man, we were about to buy a home together, now I have nothing. But, for some reason I don't feel bad about the break up. Is there something wrong with me? | Five year relationship ended and I'm moving on without dwelling. Is that normal? |
t3_1muit5 | AskReddit | Does anyone have advice on where to find shoes designed to help with plantar fasciitis? | A few years ago I tore my right achilles tendon. I went under the knife to have a portion of it removed, and replaced with carbon mesh to reattach it to my heel. Prior to that I had been told I had mild plantar fasciitis in both feet, but I didn't really do anything about it. And I continued to work my very physically intensive job.
After the surgery the plantar fasciitis has gotten much worse, and is at times so bad I can barely walk. I went through tons of therapy after the surgery, learned many techniques that do help, but it obviously never goes away. It also doesn't help that my recovery from the surgery did not go well. I developed a pressure ulcer from the cast that was put on. And it took forever for it to heal, which in turn prevented me from starting physical therapy for sometime. I have been all but forced to stop any sort of exercise because of it, and have gained a lot of weight. But I push on as hard as I can.
I have been to plenty of doctors, and all their "solutions" involve far too much down time. And I cannot afford to miss that much work. I thankfully have a much less physically demanding job now, but it still involves tons of walking. Some days it takes everything I have to make through the day.
I know about orthodic shoes, but the good ones are so expensive I don't believe I can afford them. But I also know I may be forced to find a way to afford them, as it might be my only option.
So, does anyone have thoughts, ideas or advice for this? My other trouble is that I wear 13 wide shoes. Not easy to find comfortable shoes in that size... | Have plantar fasciitis, made worse from achilles surgery. Need comfortable shoes, but hard to find any in size 13 wide. |
t3_1ei2i5 | GetMotivated | We got our first client today. We did it by creating new problems for ourselves. | Since October of last year, my partner and I started to create, from scratch, nothing but our skills sets and hunger, a service that costs customers $1000 per location per month. The potential of the business is huge. All that being said, the progress languished until recently when my partner heard "Create new problems for yourself to solve, and you'll see progress." That proved to be very true. We were doing things in what seemed like a logical order, but logic and progress do not necessarily go hand in hand.
My partner started reaching out to potential customers last week despite the fact that our platform tools are not finished. The term for this is usually "vaporware" - you sell something that doesn't exist yet. Sound familiar? Are you familiar with the Microsoft story of selling DOS to IBM?
The point is, we would have sat on our asses if we hadn't taken the leap. Stasis is our enemy, and it is your enemy too. Avoid stasis at all costs, even if it means doing something that seems risky. The truth is, we are problem solvers, and adapters. That is the core of what an entrepreneur is, and once this is understood, you will no longer hesitate to create. I hope this helps/motivated someone out there. :) | Stasis is your enemy. Trust in your ability to solve problems, and go create some to solve to get closer to your goals |
t3_1rjbps | relationships | My boyfriend [M30] only hires really pretty girls to work for him. Should I [F27] be concerned? | Sorry, jealous girlfriend post!
My boyfriend of two years is a business owner and has recently taken on a lot more work, which means he's had to hire a few people this past year.
Here's the problem.. He only hires attractive women. Now I could totally understand this if these girls had to deal with the public but that's not the case. They do regular office work. My boyfriend's the only one that deals with the clients. So what's the point of hiring really pretty girls if they're going to be doing paperwork all day?
It's not like he's hiring airheads off the street corner. They're all educated, classy, and pretty. I just feel like maybe he's doing it because he likes the attention. I mean, who wouldn't like hanging out with attractive women all day? But still.
It REALLY bugs me when they call and text him before/after work and on the weekends. Especially when it has nothing to do with work. He says he's become really good friends with all of them and says I have nothing to be concerned about because he loves me.
I visited his office tonight and I left feeling extremely jealous, like I'm not "good enough" for him. He's handsome, smart, extroverted, funny. I'm average looking, introverted, and a little boring. The girls he works with are exactly like him. Honestly, when I walk in the door, they probably wonder what the hell he's doing with me.
Am I being irrational?
How can I talk to my boyfriend about this without ruining our relationship? | I'm an average girl dating a handsome, funny guy. His employees are women I think he'd normally go for. I feel jealous and I'm afraid I'm not good enough. |
t3_3dz6xw | tifu | TIFU by accidentally giving away my rugby world cup ticket to my husband's mother. | This TIFU actually happened at Christmas but it has been an ongoing problem since then that still hasn't been resolved.
Living near a city that will host the rugby word cup we decided to treat ourselves to tickets. They're very expensive but we'd had a really horrible few months in the lead up to Christmas and wanted to have something exciting to look forward to.
As a last minute decision we thought it would be nice to get an extra ticket for my husband's dad. As a family we aren't normally so extravagant with our gifts but he enjoys watching rugby on the TV and really values family days out. He's also beginning to find trips increasingly difficult as he's getting older so we don't know how many more opportunities he'll have to do things like this.
As the tickets haven't yet been posted my husband did a mock up ticket so his Dad would have something to unwrap. This is where our first FU happened. We didn't clarify that we had brought one ticket and his mum, understandably, automatically assumed we had bought tickets for both of them. Our next FU happened when we sat there awkwardly and didn't correct them. We weren't being stingy by not buying her a ticket, she has absolutely no interest in sport, let alone rugby. Although she said something like 'that will be a nice day out. I think I watched a rugby game when I was young' we could tell she thought it was a bit random we'd bought the tickets.
The tickets are stupidly expensive so we can't afford to get an additional ticket. The only option we can think of is for closer the time for me to pretend I can no longer go so she can have my ticket. In a few weeks I'm going to mention 'my friends baby shower I just can't get out of'. We've left it way too long to correct them now. | Gave away my very expensive rugby world cup ticket to my husband's mother who has no interest in sport. |
t3_1g6j44 | offmychest | Terrified because I think I'm in real Love | I don't have butterflies.
I have that weird feeling that enters you when you go on a carnival ride. (amusement park ride, sport, what-have-you)
Back Story:
I mean, I've known since 2009 that I loved him, but I meant it in the "I really care about you and would do anything for you" way, as one would feel for a friend or relative.
We literally hadn't talked in 9 months, because I discovered a secret of his that felt too fictional for reality. I had to take time to think. Finally I realized I missed him and decided I would just 'man up' and confront him.
He explained everything and apologized for keeping the secret, we had a weekend camping, completely platonic. We got drunk and he confessed his love for me. That he always has but doesn't want to ruin our friendship. (He's told me this once before, in early 2010.)
He hinted at getting physical but I declined and distracted him with talk, as he was drunk. It's not right in my mind to do anything with someone drunk while I was sober. (The next morning he had no recollection of.. trying to get me 'close' to him, he said)
I'm so scared. Its exciting and terrifying. He knows I love him in that friendly way, as stated before.. but goddamnit, for the first time in my life I feel something I never have with any other human being on this earth. Something I've touched briefly on for 4 years and now the floodgates are open and the feeling is overtaking my entire being. It's new, and Its.. weird. | Guess I'm in love for the first time, feels like I'm stuck on a tilt-a-whirl, and its scary. |
t3_rtbey | AskReddit | Reddit my friend needs insurance advice! | Last summer, my friend and her boyfriend were taking their 3 month old daughter to Tennessee. During the trip their car was rear-ended, which gave their daughter a concussion, but my friend and her boyfriend came out with minor neck pains. They have not asked for any conpensation money from their insurance provider, but a few days ago the insurance company called and offered them $10,000 to both my friend and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend made it very clear that they would not accept the money unless it was being given to their daughter. His reasoning is that taking money from the insurance company is stealing from the little man. (They are in their 20's so we know the money isnt coming from what they have paid in insurance thus far). So my question to you reddit is where does all that money come from? Also, should they take the money even though they had no major injuries? | My friend and her family were rear-ended on the highway, and their insurance company is offering them $10,000 apiece. Where does the money come from? Should they take it? |
t3_1gx08v | relationships | Need perspective. I am 25M. Do I require too much space? | I've dated two girls seriously so far. My first GF I dated for 5-6 years (when I was 18-24 yo, she was the same age), and recently I dated a girl two years younger than me for I'd say 5-6 months. Both broke up with me for the same reason: they wanted more "us" time and I failed to give them that.
Personal background: I go to school, work a part time job (24-40 hours weekly), and I like to play video games and go out with other friends too. I am an introvert and I need to stay home every so often to recharge.
What I gave:
* On average, I would spend 3/7 days of the week with my S/O. About 4 hours per date.
* Consistent daily texting, periodical breaks in-between texts.
* 30 minute phonecalls daily.
What they want:
* Spend 5-7/7 days together.
* Both girls I dated had few hobbies outside of TV watching. I'm not judging, just saying that my presence was probably a big part of their life.
Sorry for making it so "mathematical" but really this is just what I'm comfortable with in a relationship. I know everyone is different and I should look for someone compatible with me, but I just need perspective. Do I need too much space?
Are they justified in saying that if we were in a committed steady relationship, I should spend every free moment I have with them? It's driving me nuts to think that if I want to go steady with a girl, I have to quit my hobbies and give up my alone time to date them! | My friends tell me my exes were "clingy" and not to worry. I am worried that I require "too much space". What do you think? |
t3_38gs0z | relationships | Me (18M) having trouble with serious doubts even with SO reassurance (17F) | Hello Reddit,
So long story short a relationship I had awhile back ended one and a half years later, but with let's say Jane leaving me for Bob, who was a friend for 6ish months, left me and was with Bob within 2 days. I now have one might call doubt in this current relationship with Sarah, for instance any friends she makes and they hit on her, make friends, etc makes me in my head go straight to thinking far irrationally. I talked to her about and she says oh she'd never do that etc, and I feel better but then I see it again and I think stupid and irrationally. I am worried about myself not being good enough for her and that someone better will come and I will lose her.
Another thing, is that I've been suffering with depression and the littlest things, for ex, Sarah says "you are so annoying" obviously joking but I still feel bad and it gets me down, and instances like this.
I realize these things should not bother me, but yet they do. | past relationships present current problems with doubt and insecurities. Would like advice on how to deal with these problems. |
t3_34c2nl | tifu | TIFU by joking about the Jenny story. | This did not happen today. Most of you may not know about the Jenny story...ah who am I kidding, it was on this very subreddit. Anyways, I saw all of these gifs and pictures making it to the front page, and I thought 'Hey, why not grab some free karma?' So then I posted to /r/gifs a gif of Andy, from The Office, crying at a computer screen, with the caption 'Reddit right now'. The comments were mostly 'What? I don't get it?' I tried to explain the context to the commenters, almost none of them knew what I was talking about. I mean, come on, it was all over Reddit. | Read the Jenny story on /r/Tifu, tried to jump on the karma train, nobody got the joke. |
t3_1brtvz | dating_advice | (m/27) trying to stay out rebound zone with (f/23) | Dear Reddit,
I'm in a bit of a situation. I suppose age doesn't matter, but for reference she's 23 and I'm 27. I'm usually the type to fall for someone very quickly, but since my last relationship 3 years ago, I haven't. I'm quick to write off potential girlfriends now, of course, except for this one. I met her a year ago. I'm a regular at my neighborhood bar and she works there. I've had a huge crush on her, which she knows because I've told her. I suppose I should get to the meat and potatoes of it:
* she just got out of a year and change relationship
* she still lives with the ex who is supposedly moving out in a month
* she's talking to/seeing someone else
* we've had sex 2x and it brought me back to being a teenager, meaning I'm quick to be interested in only one round for the both of us and then wanting to go to sleep. Here, we fool around all night.
* when we do hang out, it's her initiation
* I've tried to get her one on one, but she had to bail because of a busy weekend where she needs her rest
* she keeps saying don't get emotionally attached where she will then proceed to cuddle up against me, stroke my face, kiss me, other general signs of affection
* last time we hung out she said no more kissing because she doesn't want me to get emotionally attached. No problem. As we part ways, she calls me back and plants te biggest kiss on me.
I suppose I'm wondering how I can keep my head above water. I'm worried I might be viewed as a rebound. What signs would she show that she's emotionally attached? How do I stay ahead of the game? I know I don't want to jump into a relationship with her, but I would like it to lead to one. Any advice would be appreciated.
Enjoy your weekend everybody! | want to stay out of rebound zone and be viewed as a boyfriend by girl a month out of a year and change relationship. |
t3_2yp9d8 | relationships | I [18m] just broke up with my girlfriend [20f] about an hour ago and I'm already drowning in emotion and stress | We started dating when I was 15 and she was 17 and it's been a long road with a lot of bumps but a lot of happy times too. I've been dating her so long its like we grew up together. But now I realized we prioritize getting married very differently. She wanted to do it ASAP and I didn't care either way how long it took. I told her I didn't want to do it till after college and she agreed but it was still hard. The reason why we broke up is irrelevant to me right now. I just need advice on how to handle this. It's killing me. There's so many pictures of her in my house and everything I look at makes me think of her. And I also can't bear to think of her crying still, yet I know this broke her heart. | I need advice on how to handle myself and get over a long term relationship break up. Especially because I can't even bear to think of her crying and I know she is |
t3_41vozl | relationships | Me (23) having a hard time telling my sister (21) she cant use my house as her laundromat. | My 21 year old sister moved into an apartment on her own almost a year ago. Her apartment doesnt come with a washer/dryer but it does have hookups. When my sister first moved in, I let her do laundry at my house once a week to help her out a little till she got a washer and dryer.
Well its been almost a year and shes still doing laundry at my house, which wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that my boyfriend and I live together in his house. Shes an LNA and works nights, so shell come to my house whenever she has time during the day to do laundry when my boyfriend and I are both at work. Sell lounge around on my couch and watch my cable and netflix. This gets awkward when my boyfriend comes home on lunch, or will get home from work early and my sister is there lounging on the couch watching TV.
At this point, I feel like shes being extremely rude and my boyfriend is sick of her coming over when ever she wants to use our washer and dryer. I totally understand his frustration, because I would hate it if the roles were reversed. Now let me also point out that she has a very misbehaved badly trained Shepard that shits all over her apartment, and she uses TOWELS to clean it. Guess where she tries to wash those towels...IN MY MACHINES EWWWW. She doesnt think shes being rude, She thinks that because shes my sister I owe it to her and its ok for her to do whatever she pleases. I feel bad, but im at the point where im ready to tell her she needs to start using a laundromat or get her own machines. I know its my house, but What do I say to this girl without sounding like a cold hearted bitch?? | My sister is taking advantage of me and my resources. she will come to my house whenever she wants to do her laundry, and my boyfriend and I are fed up and annoyed at this point. |
t3_1nqypn | relationships | I[19M] I don't know if [19F] likes me or is flirty with me specifically for some odd reason. | I met this girl about a month ago. The first time we met I would say that there was an immediate connection. We stayed up talking to each other until the sun came up. Every other time since then whenever I go to hangout somewhere and she is there we end up talking for pretty much the entire night.
Everyone that knows her thinks that she is interested in me because they haven't seen her talk to a guy like this for this amount of time. So I of course asked her out on a date. She said that she isn't looking for something like that right now.
I talked to my friends and her friends about it and they still say that she is interested in me and that I need to take things really slow. I am obviously really confused at this point and just want to know what the best course of action would be. | I met a girl and it seems as if she is interested in me. I asked her out on a date she said no. Her friends and my friends still tell me to keep talking to her. |
t3_3f79bu | AskDocs | I [21F] have a benign pituitary tumor and was prescribed cabergeline to diminish the overproduction of pro-something (progesterone or prolactin, can't remember which). Are there risks involved with prolonged dosage of cabergeline? | Female, 21, 5'6", 196lbs, USA, taking .250mg cabergeline twice weekly on Mondays and Thursdays.
Last fall I went to my college health clinic due to experiencing amenorrhea. I thought it might be PCOS, but long story short it turned out to be a benign pituitary macroadenoma (approxomately one centimeter in diameter). The nurse practitioner (I'll call her M) I was seeing emailed back and forth with an endocrinologist in the city about my case because she's an OB/GYN and had never dealt with a patient with a brain tumor before.
For the spring semester I was doing a three month study abroad program in Italy, and I wasn't about to cancel that because I'd already paid for everything and could not get a refund. M and the endocrinologist decided I would probably be alright in Italy if I took .250mg of cabergeline on Mondays and Thursdays.
I was supposed to see an endocrinologist immediately upon my return from Italy, but due to new insurance and other BS (finding a PCP covered by said insurancenand waiting a month to get switched to her) I wasn't able to get a referral until a month ago. The endocrinologist they referred me to won't be accepting new cases/can't schedule an appointment until the end of September. I am moving to another city and switching my insurance to the coverage offered by the university I'll be attending in September.
So, my question is this: can taking cabergeline for an extended period of time cause health issues I should be paying attention for? Please note that I have experienced no noticable side effects from it thus far, including the effects it was intended to have by stopping/decreasing a specific symptom. | I have a brain tumor for which I've been taking cabergeline. I was supposed to take it for three months, it will have been at least seven months of dosage before I see an endocrinologist. In all this time I have not spoken to an endocrinologist directly. Is that bad? |
t3_29rzac | relationships | I (20f) am attracted to my (19m) boyfriend's (22m) cousin. | Hi r/relationships. First time poster here. Sorry for any mistakes with my writing and grammar.
I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years now. During our time together I've never been attracted to anyone, but him until now.
His cousin Robert is visiting from Mexico for the summer and we've been hanging out pretty much everyday since he's arrived. As soon as I saw him walking towards us at the airport my heart skipped a beat. His cousin is very attractive, but so is my boyfriend. His cousin is more cleaner looking though.
They are complete opposites. Robert is ambitious, clean, career oriented. My boyfriend is unambitious, scruffy, and lazy. He doesn't have a job.
Even though Robert is here on vacation he managed to find a job. He is saving up money so he can pay for his final year of medical school in Mexico. My boyfriend often looks down on this while I admire him for it.
Another thing about Robert is that I can talk to him. I'll talk to my boyfriend and doesn't really ever have much to say. It bothers me.
My boyfriend can be sweet. He'll cuddle with me before I go to sleep. He'll pretty much do anything I ask of him. Right now I don't really feel emotionally or physically connected to him right now, but I think it's only because Robert is here.
I feel really guilty about this and I wonder if it's a petty crush. Robert is what I wish my boyfriend could be. I don't want my boyfriend to change but I really do wish he was as ambitious as Robert. What should I do? Should I ignore it and wait? Should I talk to my boyfriend? | have a crush on boyfriend's cousin. I wish boyfriend was as ambitious as him. What do? |
t3_4b6d4w | personalfinance | (NZ) I have 60K salary with a 45K debt over 6 years. My salary as now increased to 80K, seeking advice about it. | With the total repayments for the debt with a 60K salary, after everything is paid for including rent/utilities etc, I usually have about $250 left per fortnight. This usually covers my day to day expenses but basically leaves nothing to save. I haven't been living frugal but not extravagant either. To give you an idea, if someone saw how I live, they would never suspect I'm in debt and probably have a lot of savings.
But now, my salary has jumped by an extra 20K with no additional expenses going out. I'm trying to look at the bigger picture where in 5 years time I can potentially see myself being married and having children, while the loan is for 6 years.
Till now, the left over money I have I've been trying to save(very tiny amount), and just continue making the normal repayment amount. So while I'm in debt I can still live reasonably, buy the odd thing etc. With potential marriage/children in 5 years time, would it be better to continue 'saving' like I have, or should I make additional repayments to pay off my debt faster? | Continue just making the regular loan repayment and build up some 'savings', or have no/less savings and pay off my debt faster? |
t3_2h09ap | relationships | Me [17 M] with my Female Friend [17 F] Who I Met in University is ONLY Interested in Talking About School | So I'm a freshman and during my first week at University I met a girl whom I have a couple of classes with and I like her. Like like her. Only problem is: when I asked for her number she assumed I was asking so that we could discuss school/assignments together. When I talk to her in class it's all fine, and we'll tell each other funny stories/talk about normal things but I tried texting her the other day and she
1. Didn't respond until 24 hours later and
2. When she did, it was regarding an assignment question.
It was pretty much as if she had never received the text from me. I'm sensing mixed feelings here; I don't know if she's just afraid about texting and so she simply decides to talk about school related stuff or is she just not interested at all and ONLY wants to talk about school related stuff? How can I get her to want to talk about other stuff? | I met a girl at the university we both started going to and I'm finding myself liking her but she ONLY ever wants to talk about school. How do I get her to want to talk about other stuff? |
t3_44igqh | legaladvice | Manitoba Birth Injury Statute of Limitations? | I've looked into this before and I believe that my case is unfortunately well outside the statute of limitations, but I thought I would ask here just in case I'm wrong.
When I was born I suffered from meconium aspiration, which the attending doctor failed to properly treat. As a result I was in the intensive care unit at another hospital for a month, during which I stopped breath 3 times (one time was in my dad's arms in the elevator immediately after I had been cleared to finally go home).
Obviously I survived, however I was in an incubator for quite a long time, and as a result I am now severely hearing impaired. My parents decided not to sue because "the same thing happened to another baby that ended up dying and the obstetrics unit was closed because of it. We thought that was justice enough and didn't want to cause trouble." I believe [this] is the case my mom is referring to.
So I am 25 now, and about to start the process of buying hearing aids for the first time since my provincial health care coverage expired (no coverage after you turn 18). I've done the math and if I have to buy new hearing aids every 5 years as recommended, that's a cost of around $1500 a year for the rest of my life. All because my parents were too Canadian to sue. | What's the statute of limitations for birth injury malpractice suits in Manitoba? I read somewhere that I had until 2 years after I turned 18, but not sure if that's correct. |
t3_fj7gt | travel | Two Highschoolers with an Urge to Peace Out! | So I suppose I'll begin with a bit of context.. basically a friend of mine and I have begun considering the option of travel for.. well for a period of time to keep it general.. I've had the thought for a while now, and have always just wanted to kind of get away from North America in a non-all-inclusive fashion. Some perspective-attaining experiences if you will. Note that we are both male and Canadian, and both 18 years old.
Also note that by highschoolers I mean that we've both graduated with grades that can get us into whichever schools we'd prefer to attend for the most part, and this is our 12+ year. I guess neither of us are really too certain as to what to do next, and we've never been the types of kids to like to feel enclosed and in our own little shell, which is essentially where we've spent our whole lives (in Canada). I guess that's pretty much it regarding history / current situation... if you want some more details feel free to ask.
As far as the trip itself goes...
Funds: I have no issue with money whatsoever as I've been working for most of my teenage life. He currently has a part-time job but is definitely more stressed than I when it comes to finances... so the main point of this post is something to get us TFO in a semi cost-effective manner.
Duration: However long our funds can support us or until we get tired. Anywhere from several months to half a year or beyond has been discussed. Like I said, we're just trying to figure some shit out.
Location: We have no idea. It will likely be related to funds... but I guess that's mainly why I'm posting here. Not necessarily for inspiration but more for the actual carrying out of the idea.
So everything I've said is pretty general and I realize, but.. | every tip or piece of information / advice to give for 2 18 year old canadian males to GTFO including suggested locations and approximate pricing or where I can go to get said information |
t3_37tasf | offmychest | I lost 60lbs by becoming bulimic | I wasn't sure where to post this; offmychest seems to be an appropriate place.
For reference, I am 5'6. Over the last year and a half, I have gone from 208 to 152. It is a pretty dramatic difference, it takes me from obese to overweight for my range.
I have increased my exercise, improved my diet, but the real difference is I now purge after my binges.
I have always binged on food, it is a sad remnant from my abusive step-father. I was a picky eater at the ripe age of 5, and he was so fixated on fixing that I now have a compulsion to finish everything on my plate. In fact, I'm compulsed to finish everything I cooked...this has been a constant problem for me since my preteen years.
A year and a half ago, I weighed myself and was over 200lbs. This was a wake-up call for me, unfortunately it may have not been the ideal kind of wakeup call.
I decided that the health and social benefits of loosing weight would outweigh the health risks of puking up food...and I was right.
I have lost almost 60lbs, and I have felt more confident, been more attractive to women, more sucessful professionally, and my fitness has improved drastically. I know outperform my athletic friends on hikes, my resting heart rate is in the 50's, and I have beat my high school PR for a 5k.
On the darker side, I have gone from purging every couple days to almost daily, and often twice a day. I believe this is my body fighting back against the weight loss and the binges are my body trying to recover calories, but although the end result is worlds ahead of the alternative I am still getting deeper in this maladaptive behavior.
I am open to suggestion, although conventional therapy with a psychologist is not an options for reasons I cannot get into. | I got near my target weight by puking every time I binge eat |
t3_1i2dbn | AskReddit | Why being rejected never feels better? | I went with the idea of *being rejected multiple times makes it hurt less*, so I kept getting rejected like a champ to realize.. its doesn't feel any better. It hurt as much as the first time.
About two years ago I asked a girl out, it was brutal, it was my first time and she flat out said no. For about a week I was pretty depressed, I really felt depressed.
I read somewhere that the more practice you get, it wont matter to you anymore. Four girls later and four rejections later, its as brutal as before.
Is it that I feel the anticipation of her saying yes and being disappointed that gets me or is it something else? | Rejection king here, doesn't get better with time. I thought it was supposed to feel better since you have experience with the thing. It hurts as much as it does the first time. |
t3_3u5dbw | offmychest | I now see it as a good thing. | For years, I used to get mad that I would never find a significant other who would want to post pictures with me online, never wanted to post "in a relationship with," who would never show their affections online. Now, I've met someone who did used to do that with his ex as I researched him online just to make sure he was broken up with her they still had their pics up together even though they are broken up now and she didn't delete their pics. I think things on Snap Chat are okay because those pictures aren't permanent there anyway, only if someone screen shots it.
I see all these people who posts dozens of fun pictures with their significant others on Facebook and half of them have broken up with each other but they don't delete their old pictures or any old posts about them. I see the downside now of being public about a significant other online, ugh.
I was told that relationships last longer anyway without social media being involved. | Only taking pictures and posting them online with the person I actually marry for real. |
t3_36eylo | dating_advice | Me --M(25), F(18), I'm confused with this girls actions, help! | Hello, I have a serious crush with a girl, she is a classmate, we take the same classes and we hangout with the same small group of friends, I feel confused with the mied signals, here's what happened:
I asked her out a month ago, she said yes but that she would text me when, nothing happened, and in school it felt awkward between both, she would ask me casual stuff but you could tell something was off, then I asked her again a second time 2 weeks later, just because I needed to know, started using lame excuses and told me to ask her the next day.
The next day she told me she was interested in somebody else and that she felt it was unfair for me, that we could go out but as friends, I was speechless and as we had to go because college was done for the day, we took separte ways, I texted her what was on my mind, and she told me that she didn't want to lose me as a friend and stuff, so basically friendzoned me. And I started to forget about her, and mind my own business. But now she started looking for me, trying to get us to hangout and she's been playful.
But it's all pretty strange, because, one weekend she asked me if I could stay after college to help her, I agreed but unexpected things like surprise test made me stay longer at college and she wouldn't stay, so it never happen.
I like being around her, but I suspect I'm deep in the friendzone, I want to be more than friends with her. What do I do? | got rejected by a girl, she said that we are friends, but now she is playful and looking to hangout. |
t3_renvr | AskReddit | Niece is having her 12th birthday tomorrow, I want to make something out of it. | A hello from me to you,
So I've got a question for you guys. My niece has her 12th birthday tomorrow and it's a rather sad story. She's a somewhat spoiled kid and can be an annoyance sometime, but I think that's due to her upbringing. She has her nice moments though. I don't think she has many friends at school (doesn't really matter now as she is going to highschool in a few months). Her parents are both gone that day. So that's why my mom said it would be ok if she spent the evening with us and try to make the best of it. Matter is, my parents had other plans that night and can't stay either. That's when my mom asked me entertain her for the night. Normally it would have tried to negotiate and and somehow get someone else to do it, but I think she deserves somewhat of a party.
What does a 12 y/o like doing nowadays? Should we go out to a movie or something?
If you have a good idea the upboats will guide me to it. | My 12 year old niece has her birthday tomorrow, and I want to try my best at making it memorable, what do? |
t3_15v7xe | offmychest | I just found out that my dad has a warrant for his arrest. | Just a couple hours ago my dad received a call that he has a warrant out for his arrest from the local authorities. He must go to a video taped conference with a judge and some officers tomorrow morning. From the judge's decision tomorrow morning, he could be put in jail or free(essentially). Being an optimist and a calm person, I expect things to go well and for him to be free. However, for the past hour I've been contemplating what is going to happen if he goes to jail. My family doesn't have much money; we especially don't have enough for his bond. My mom is unable to work due to some problems. I just started college this year and if we don't have my dad's income I'll have to drop out and begin working in my hometown again. We'll lose our house. I don't know how much my mom gets for disability but it certainly isn't enough to keep our family going. All of my plans will come to a close if he gets sent to jail. I really just want to go to sleep and pretend like I'll wake up to none of this ever happening, but I know that's ridiculous. I just don't know what to do right now. It was so hard seeing my dad cry. Being a man myself, one of the hardest things to look at is another man crying. When we were talking about what he wanted to do tonight I said, "Well you better do something you really enjoy tonight because who knows where you may end up tomorrow." He got the saddest look on his face after that and he started to cry. I felt so bad that I caused that. I'm gonna end it here since I'm starting to ramble. | If he goes to jail my life will be thrown a curveball, also I made my dad cry :'( |
t3_31p8g5 | relationships | I [25 M] don't know her as well as I'd like to [21 F]. Should I ask her out? | We both have the same circle of friends, we've hung out at social events and such. All of those times she was with her boyfriend, but there seemed to be some kind of chemistry between the two of us, but because she was dating my friend I pushed all of my attraction towards her away. All other interactions we've had have basically just been on facebook. I hesitate to call her a friend since neither of us know each other well enough, but at the same time I'd say she's more than an acquaintance, since obviously we know some things about each other.
I've recently learned however that my friend and her have broken up, and it appears there's been a little bit of time since that has happened.
Should I ask her out? Would it perhaps make things weird within our social circle? Especially since I've known her ex boyfriend for quite some time, and him and all of our friends still get together and hang out regularly. | Should I ask out my friend's ex girlfriend who I don't know as well as I'd like to? |
t3_41slb0 | dating_advice | Supposedly have a date tomorrow, but guy never texted to confirm details. Should I assume it's canceled? | I matched with a guy on Tinder late last week, we exchanged a couple of messages with generic small talk and he asked me to get a drink. I said sure and asked him what day he was free. He suggested Wednesday and I said that sounds good to me and gave him my phone number so we could nail down the plans via text. He said thanks — and that's it. He didn't text me with his number, he never said anything about time or place. Now the date supposedly is tomorrow, but it's 11 pm, and I have no idea what time he wants to meet, where he wants to meet, or if he even is still planning on going.
This is extremely annoying because I like to know my plans for after work the night beforehand. I'd like to pick my outfit accordingly if I am going on a date. If I'm not, I'd like to know so I can make other plans with friends. I can't text him because I don't have his number, and at this point, I'm so annoyed that I don't really want to message him on Tinder (we haven't talked since I gave my number). I really don't want to go anymore — I'm normally anti-flake, but at this point, is it reasonable to decline if he does ask me tomorrow? Should I message him tonight and cancel? I hate being rude to people so I'm nervous at the thought of confronting him via message. | Tinder guy asked me out, I said yes. Date is supposedly tomorrow but it's 11 pm and he never told me the details. Should I assume it's canceled? |
t3_g4ivl | relationship_advice | Dealing with Jealousy - Strategies? | How do the rest of you deal with feeling jealous? Specifically, how do you deal with your jealousy for things that you can clearly recognize (when you think rationally) as being totally innocent? Things like your significant other mentioning talking to one of their opposite-sex friends, or meeting up with them to catch up and grab drinks. Things that are innocent that you probably do yourself, yet you still feel jealousy. Or feeling jealous when you see them interacting with one of your friends.
I sometimes find when I first feel jealous I just get really quiet and in a bad mood for 5 minutes, and do my best to hide it. But I'd like to get to the point where those things just don't bother me as much. Does anyone have any good tips? | How do you deal with your instinctive jealousy in situations where there's no actual need to be jealous? |
t3_31xn5k | relationships | Me [25 M] with my GF [21 M/F] 8 months, says I'm needy/clingy | Alright, so my gf has a tendency to vanish sometimes from skype (we don't text because it's expensive for her) for like a week sometimes, or I won't hear from her for a day or three. I do have a tendency to message her a lot, but I figure she'll check it when she checks it and she says she actually likes my rambling.
Honestly we don't spend a crazy amount of time together, I think our last date was maybe october. (lel) How is that clingy or needy? I don't flip out when she vanishes, and I've gotten used to her not responding to messages for days. I just accept that, but how is that needy? | gf I don't spend a lot of time with thinks i'm needy, how am I needy? |
t3_3eng88 | relationships | My girlfriend (19/F) just moved in with me (28/M) and I wonder how much decline in sex is too much? | My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over eight months now and we're madly in love. The plan is for us to get married in a year or two, though I haven't yet saved up the money for the kind of engagement ring I want to afford. Last month, she moved in with me and it has gone great so far! There's a lot we're getting used to, such as still maintaining our individuality and not spending every second of every day together, but I'd like to say we're doing well.
Overall, we're as close to soul-mates as you can get. But this past two weeks, our sex life has dropped off to once or twice a week. Used to be at *least* once a day. Tonight, she finally told me that she has gotten comfortable and no longer feels as if she *has* to win me over through sex. But meanwhile, her moving in has only increased my desire for sex because I love her even more and want to express that physically as well. And whenever we *do* make love, it's phenomenal on both sides. The passion has increased, but the frequency has dropped dramatically.
We have a great life otherwise, and I'm convinced she feels just as much for me as I do for her. I also know that sex lives drop off as relationships go on. But this is my first long-term deal, and my first time living with a woman. So what do I do when I want more? | Moved in with girlfriend. Sex dropped from once a day to once a week. How do I handle it? |
t3_4a3c14 | relationships | Should I [22 F] go see my mom [63 F] in the hospital | My mom is very sick. She got bronchitis a few weeks ago and has been struggling severely with her apetite, causing her to lose a significant amount of weight. Today she was very disoriented and weak, talking nonsense and almost unable to walk. My dad took her to the ER. They checked her blood sugar and discovered it was 1100. Normal blood sugar isn't higher than 100. Above 400 is considered severely dangerous and potentially life-threatening. She is in the ICU now while they try to stabilize her blood sugar, hydrate her, and get some electrolytes into her.
That is all I know. I live 3 hours away. My dad doesn't have a cell phone. I'm so unbelievably scared. This could kill her. The fact that she is in the hospital is good, because it means they have a chance to fix it, but there's no telling what will happen. Her kidneys could shut down. She could have a heart attack or a stroke. She could have permanent brain damage.
The only way for me to get there is to take a shuttle, and the shuttle doesn't run on Sundays. I want to see her, but I know my dad will just tell me everything is fine and tell me to stay here. But I don't know if I can forgive myself if she dies and I don't see her one last time.
My other concern is that I'm not feeling well. My throat has been sore, I've been tired, and the flu is going around. If there's any chance that I'm sick it won't be safe for me to be around her.
I don't know what to do. I can't sleep. I can't get in touch with my dad, and because of confidentiality stuff the hospital can't tell me anything.
I'm not thinking clearly. Should I pack up my stuff and hop on the shuttle first thing in the morning? Should I wait to hear back from my dad? | My mom is in the ICU three hours away and I don't have a car. Should I attempt to go see her? |
t3_2f8j20 | relationship_advice | [26/M] I believe my recently now EX girlfriend (20/F] has Borderline Personality Disorder | I believe my ex has BPD. We were together for 7 going on 8 months. Broke up with her last month. She matched much of the criteria on various sources I researched. She would always lash out but then regret it later. I felt like I was walking on egg shells around her. She always felt like I had abandoned her. One moment everything is fine, next moment she might be packing her bags and leaving my place. I was always so afraid to commit myself fully to her because I noticed her BPD tendencies really early on. Obviously, I didn't really know what I was experiencing. I very likely didn't handle things the right way.
There was no telling how unpredictable her reactions would be. She would always feel abandoned by me. Obviously there were lots of different cases of this happening, but there is one that definitely stands out. This one hurt me the most. She had been drinking a lot one night with her friends and I told her I was going to bed. I genuinely just wanted to sleep; it was late. She ofcourse took it the wrong way and got upset, thinking that I was mad at her. She sent me lots of texts immediately expressing anger. That night, she cheated on me with a guy she met down town. She told me the next day. Her reasoning was that she felt like she was losing me and that this was the only way she could address her feelings. She said she had been "falling hard" for me and didn't know how to control her feelings. I forgave her. I continued to stay with her for another 4 months.
I broke up with her last month. I have been dealing with regret because I essentially quit on her. I feel like I did the best thing for myself and her own growth. However, I still wonder if it could've been handled, if things could improve. Lord knows the good times were great. | After further research, I believe my ex has BPD, she matched an overwhelming amount of the criteria; broke up with her a month ago. Should I move on or is this something that I can help her figure out and work on? |
t3_2ul6j4 | relationships | I[18m] think my girlfriends[17f] best friend is a bad influence on her. Not sure how to approach the situation. | My girlfriend and I have a happy relationship and do most things with each other, neither of us are 'troublemakers' by any means, and we don't really like getting into any trouble, going to parties or drinking/getting high. We just kind of avoid it..
While my girlfriend is with me, she claims she hates doing stuff like that, and doesn't want to get involved. But when shes with her best friend, they always end up doing something that she claims she wouldn't do, like getting drunk, etc... She immediately afterwards apologizes to me and claims she regrets it, and doesn't want to get into it again. She seems genuinely serious when she says this and I believe her when she says she honestly doesn't like it.
It seems every time I let her alone with this friend she has, she falls into peer pressure and just does things that she later regrets. She can't seem to break out of the loop.
I'm pretty lost on what to do or say to her. Any thoughts, opinions, comments, concerns advice? All is appreciated. Thanks | GF falls into doing things she later regrets with her friend. I'm worried about her. Not sure what to say or do. |
t3_3z731w | relationships | [16M] dating [16F] Wondering what happens once we go to college | I'm 16 and have been dating a girl for 6 months now. We are juniors in high school, and have begun our search for colleges. We are both looking at the same school (UCSB), but I'm afraid of what's going to happen if one of us doesn't make it. Call me naïve or ignorant for being 16 and wanting to spend the rest of my life with this girl, but I really do. She's made me happier than I've ever been before, and I'm completely in love. We've always been able to communicate our issues and help each other without hesitation. I'm just afraid of what's going to happen if we end up at different colleges. We currently go to different high schools, so it's somewhat similar. But college is much different obviously. I trust her to stay loyal to our relationship, and I would never cheat on her either. It's just that little thing that pokes at the back of your mind, and it really gets me thinking. We still have plenty of time before we reach college, but I wanted to know what you guys thought.
Additional Information: We have talked about college, marriage, kids before, and I've bought her a promise ring a while back | Dating a girl, want to know what to do to keep our relationship in college |
t3_2eaj3k | jobs | Not sure best way to job search after lengthy employment at first employer. | I have been working for the city I live in as a staff for a special needs day program the last 6 years. Southwest USA. I'm 23.
I was thinking about going to school for Industrial and Organizational Psychology (business psych), and got up to an Associates before finances/life got troublesome.
I think I'm getting burned out what I'm doing, and I could use a full-time at higher pay. Right now I'm at 30h@ 11.5$. If these numbers are embarrassing, I can only say I got complacent. It was easier to stick it out while going to school than hit the job apps. Now that school is up the air, I figure I'd better start climbing the ladder in the mean time.
My plan is to get a job in HR department with my employer. Entry is high school education, 40h@17$. The spot above that is Associates + 3years HR experience 40h@20$. Governmental benefits, since its public sector.
I want this job in particular because its inter-department, in the field of study I want to make a career someday, and I'm more comfortable with administrative desk work than what I'm doing now (hands on recreation). I'm even considering going to school for a Bachelors in Human Resources if thats possible, instead of minimum Masters for IO psychology.
My problem is I dont know how to job search since I've been at this place for 6 years. I worked at a movie theater before this for about 6 months I think. I jumped ship because I got a city job.
Who do I talk to in order to get my foot in the door? Would my supervisors help? Should I talk to someone in HR? We have internal and external job postings, and I set up an email alert when HR spots come up. I dont think its a spot that empties out often, and I don't know how many people are in front of me, if any. I just want them to keep me in mind, or at least know I exist.
I obviously would prefer to stay with my employer for several reasons, but also want to look into any HR position thats a step up from what I'm doing now. | worked at current job for 6 years. I dont know the best way to get a better position, but I want one. Inter-department if possible, but oh well. |
t3_1q7cmg | relationships | Me [24 M] with my GF [24 F] long term, Why do I stay? | I have been dating her for three years now, she broke up with me once in between. Back together now, but I feel so trapped and lonely.
I just want to be happy, and I feel this relationship is not making me happy. Sometimes it does, but for the most part I feel either sad/stressed about it. She is so fickle, sometime she shows me affection, but so often she doesn't. I want to feel loved but I don't. I want to feel needed, but I don't. I want to feel like I actually mean something, like I did when we first started dating. I know there is a honeymoon phase, but is it crazy to want to feel loved, and I mean really loved, everyday? Is that too much to ask in a relationship?
I don't know what to believe anymore, is there such a thing as a happy relationship? One where I feel like I can express my emotions without being yelled at. I am insecure sometimes yeah, but anger does not make me feel better. Maybe I am just insecure because you never show me consistent affection!!!! (Sorry I am pretending I am talking to her now). I never know what you want from me, I always feel like I am doing something wrong, I feel like I am never enough!!! I want to be happy and be loved and feel respected.
But I can't bring myself away, maybe I am just so scared of being alone. Maybe its my fault all along. Maybe men who don't respect themselves don't deserve to be in a happy relationship. I wish I just never needed to be needed at all, I wish I could be happy alone, I want so many things.
I am sorry for the patheticness of this. I am emotionally raw, be gentle on me. I just want some support, someone to tell me what I should expect out of a relationship, cause I have no clue. | Is it possible to feel loved all the time when you are in a relationship? Happy relationships out there, tell me your stories! |
t3_3tl8z9 | relationships | I [22/F] recently broke up with my gf[23/F] of two years. Can we still be friends? | So about two weeks ago, I broke up with my now ex. We've been together for two years and were inseparable best friends for three years before that.
I just felt like things weren't working out any more, we were having stupid fights and I would get irritated at her over nothing, the best I can describe it is just "knowing" that it's over and done between us. While there were problems in our relationship, mostly the reason I broke up with her is simply not being in love anymore, rather than "We fought too much" or "We didn't get along". I'm fairly sure I've made the right decision and while I don't miss sexual stuff or the romance between us, I'm really missing the emotional and physical (but non-sexual) closeness between us.
While she's still quite upset and a little angry at the end of the relationship, after hours of talking and crying from both of us, she agrees that we have made the right decision. However, while she's still in love and is somewhat confused about her feelings, I'm more ready to move on. Both of us desperately want to continue being close friends as soon as possible now that the relationship is over.
How can I best help her, and myself, to move through the initial breakup period? I want to be there for her and help her while still giving her space to move on, yet I don't want her to think I'm abandoning her and moving on to soon. What are some do's/don't, blah blah, general advice on the situation? Do you think it's realistic/ possible for us to continue being close now that our physical relationship is over?
Any stories about being friends with an ex would be really reassuring too :) | Broke up with GF, want to continue being close friends. Realistic or not? |
t3_26va8v | relationships | [18/F] Every male encounter ends up with me becoming their best friend. I have no game. | Okay so, yeah it's one of those posts but anyway;
I don't think I'm an unattractive person and I have quite a healthy lifestyle. I'm trying not to sound like a douche here but just saying I don't think my lack in game is a physical thing. Well, it might - cant suit everyone's taste
But absolutely too many times have I met someone, hit it off almost instantly - then somewhere along the line we become bestfriends, it is the most infuriating thing ever, because we become so comfortable with each other that we just end up being such lads around each other. And i will emphasise that this has happened to me more than 3 times now. Then it comes to point where i don't want to get in a relationship with them because I honestly see them as a sibling, and wouldn't want to lose a friend by getting in a relationship.
So, as an 18 y/o female, how do i increase my game? I'm relatively smart and I tend to talk really quickly, and about all sorts of nonsense and I think my comfortability around all humans has been detrimental to me getting some D.
I can't even pick up a real life FWB because we end up being good friends. So basically if there is no hope for me I'm going to fuck the next guy i see on the street (not literally, but kind of), my hormones are going wild and i need some release. | I'm too friendly, need to increase my game 4 sexy times. |
t3_30u0op | relationships | Me [20F] with my SO [26 M] of 9 mos are going through a tough situation. Have you ever "started over", something like a new beggining of sorts? Is it possible and does it work out? Experience and advice needed | So I've been with my SO for 9 months now. In the begging it was all beyond terrific, everything was close to perfect. But for the last 3 months now, problems from our personal lives have started growing and growing and wearing us out. I moved in his city where I didn't have any friends (I have a few now) or social life, money was pretty tight, my bestest friend who came to live with me in the big city abandonded me and we no longer talk (long story), my mom was diagnosed with a serious condition and pretty much everything went to shit with my life. I have been trying to fix and make better everything I can, so it would stop making me depressed, and wearing my relationship out too. I was doing great.
But then, his problems started. Constant and violent fights with his widowed mother whom he lives with, minor money issues, too much pressure and time at his work, and generally he fell in a deep hole of not being happy and content with anything in his life.
He is currently trying to figure things out, how and if he can make things better and move on.
As you can guess, all this stuff have taken their toll on our relationship, though mostly for him. He has admitted some time ago that he wasn't that willing to wait around for me to try and make it through, even though he loves me, but he still did it. And still trying to figure things out.
So, my questions are the following: How can I help him? What can I say or do to help on how he can figure his life out and put it in order?
And, since we are going to be apart for easter, I was thinking that maybe we could do a new begining/fresh start thing. Does this even work out in real life? How do you do it? | SO and I are going through a rough time, advice needed on how to help him figure out all that's bothering him and if a fresh start thing works irl and how |
t3_39n884 | relationships | Me [27M] with my serious girlfriend of 2 years [24F]. How do I deal with constant apprehension and second-guessing caused by being a late bloomer and only having 1 partner in my life? | I spent most of my life incredibly shy but came out of my shell about 2 years ago, and met her right away. She checks a lot of my boxes and there are no major issues, but I struggle pretty often with doubt from having zero comparison material. I've never even kissed another girl let alone been in a relationship with one.
She has had a few other BF's and I know that she sees something special in me. What I don't know, or even have an inkling of, is if my other desires or flaws that I see will be crucial or frivolous years or decades down the road. I think that I have a great thing going with her, but sometimes I go into lulls where I'm probably not the best boyfriend because of this.
Most of my friends and family that are married or heading that direction indicate that you "just know it" when you find the right person, it's something that you can sense in your bones. But it's always based on a bit of trial and error. My greatest fear is letting go of her (that is to say, ripping her heart out) and realizing months or years later that I had something incredibly rare and special. | Does anyone have advice on how to deal with doubt based on inexperience? |
t3_2usukr | relationships | How do I [24f] tell my friend [24f] that I feel like I can't talk to her because she talks so much? | She talks a lot and it's so hard to get a word in. She's always telling me about work or some friends of hers or about something with her family. I love listening! I always laugh along because it's usually entertaining, but I can never add to the conversation because she just goes and goes and goes. Sometimes I want to tell a story, or add an anecdote, ask a question, etc. But if I even begin to comment she just plows through it as if I've said nothing. Sometimes we will be on the phone and she will just have been talking nonstop for like 10 minutes jumping subjects and going back and forth about a thousand things.
It feels like I don't even exist and she is just talking at me. Like she is just thinking outloud and I may as well not even be there.
Also sometimes I'd like to tell a story! Sometimes I will start to tell a story and she will stop me and say, "Oh wait can I tell you this story really quick!" or she will just say, "Wait you just reminded me..." and tell her story first. And then the next unknown amount of time will be dedicated to her. Sometimes she even forgets I was about to tell a story and I have to like actually stop her and say, can I tell the story now?
She will usually laugh and go, "Oh my god I'm so sorry! What were you saying?"
It's frustrating! I have a lot of patience but sometimes it's just too much and I start to feel a little annoyed. I want to sit her down and actually talk about it but I am not sure how to even pose it without it coming off offensive in some way. She has some self-esteem issues also and I really don't want to hurt her feelings and have her move into the other direction where she just doesn't talk much at all or feels like I am insulting her. | Want a dialogue, not a monologue. |
t3_3nld6u | tifu | Tifu by getting off a truck | So this happened a few months ago I was in junior ROTC and was getting a ride home from a friend's mom in her big redneck truck we arrived to my house I was so excited to get home I I open the door and get off my foot got stuck where u put your foot to get to on I fall down and my face hits the curb and my legs hit the curb and my right arm hits the lightpost I then shake it off I get inside my house and I check my phone and its all cracked and the touch screen did not want to work | tifu by falling off a truck breaking my nice expensive smart phone now I'm stuck with a crappy smart phone |
t3_2kri0m | relationships | Am I over reacting? Feeling left out in relationship. | I (26F) am feeling left out. I travel for work and figure that 3 weeks away per month is enough space for anyone, but my SO (25M) (of 1 year) has stopped inviting me over to his parents or out with his friends, even to the point of arranging parties the day before I arrive.
When I'm gone, there's rarely a conversation that Rick will start (via text) and many times my texts will be ignored.
Getting Rick to spend time with my family is extremely hard too. Once I came back early to find Rick getting ready to go out clubbing (with his sisters), and upon telling me about it instantly said that I'm not invited.
I would expect that Rick would want to spend time with me while I'm back.
We talked about it, but he just says that he doesn't want me to feel obligated to visit his parents and that the parties were easier to get people to attend on those dates (I returned on a Saturday afternoon).
I still feel left-out despite these explanations... am I over reacting?
I'm worried that our relationship is just about sex now and there are no real feelings on the other side. Is that wrong?
Any advice?
*Rick is a fake name | I (26F) travel for work 3 weeks/month and SO (25M) is suddenly avoiding me going out with him and peers/family. I feel left out, is that wrong? . |
t3_2ptv11 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my best friend / co-worker [23 F] of 2 years is leaving the job and I can't cope with this feeling of not being able to see her again | She and I have been working together for nearly 2 years now. We became the best of friends and get along like a house on fire. We just connect and know each other inside out. We do everything together and talk for hours and hours on end.
She is happily married, and although I really like her, I want her to be happy in marriage. Her husband recently took a new job and they are moving away from here. Hence she has to leave this job.
I don't what to feel. I can't imagine doing anything without her. I can't cope with this feeling that I will probably never see her again. I have this lump in my throat but still have to put a smile on face and not let anyone know what I'm feeling. I don't want her to go and I can't stop her. | Best friend / co-worker is leaving the job. I don't want her to go and I can't stop her. I don't know what to do |
t3_zlh4i | AskReddit | Should I take a Masters of Public Policy at Oxford? | Planning my graduate schools applications for two years from now, and I'm looking seriously at the new MPP programme that has just started at Oxford's Blavatnik School of Government. It's a new programme and hasn't been around forever, but it also is *Oxford*, and there are a number of interesting research centres (such as the Transport Studies Unit, Programme for the Future of Cities, etc.) that are linked up with it that do fascinating work.
Without compromising my identity, I believe I have a good chance of getting in, given that it's a new programme, and that I have good grades (3.7/4), a strong resume (active in athletics for over a decade, medal-winner in international speaking competitions, worked overseas in a development NGO, super active on campus, student gov't, etc.), and several letters of recommendation from some of the bigger-named (i.e., internationally recognised) scholars at my university.
I'm interested in working in urban planning and I've had a few people tell me that with this degree I would be golden, but I'm not fully convinced. | Strong student, strong resume, could get into Oxford, but the programme is new and I'm wondering if I should apply at more established schools/programmes in my interest area. |
t3_1ql8q3 | relationships | she [24F]and i [21M] want to date but only if she can't get together with her other interests... | We have gone out for about a month now (first person i've been with), but she has recently told me that she can't "date" me yet because she doesn't know who she'd rather be with.
About 3 weeks in she told me she wanted to put a hold on dating until she was sure she wasn't getting back with her ex (who she found out didn't want to get back with her).
Now she has found a new friend whom she likes better that she might get with...
i feel like a back-up. someone there just incase she feels lonely one day and wants to feel like she's in a relationship with while she searches for someone else.
should i even bother getting together with her if she can't find someone else? i really do want to be with her, she just seems like she can't make up her mind right now... | She keeps playing with the idea of dating and i can't decide whether i should date her or not |
t3_rcj0u | relationships | I need advice on who to live with! (Semi Long) | Okay so for the information, I'm 18 and currently live with my mum, mum and dad been separated for 5 years now and are still on good terms (still friends). As of late I have decided that university was not for me even though I got good grades all throughout high school and so on, I just was not enjoying university. Ever since then my mum has been a total BITCH. She is clearly unsupportive of my decision and claims it wasn't mine to make (whereas Dad said that he'd support any decision I made and it was up to me). Every little minor thing I do wrong now she blows up about, she normally has a temper but it only comes out if I mess up pretty big (I'm a shy, quiet, good kid so nothing major).
At the moment I can't stand living here and seriously am considering moving in with Dad. However my dilemma is that mum has mentioned before that all she has left to live for is us kids (me and sister who is 14) she doesn't know what she'd do without us. Also the way my mum is I'd lose a lot of the stuff I own although not super important I'd lose ps3, PC, TV, My car and basically anything else she can claim she paid for (the items themselves don't matter it's the monetary value of them).
So what do I do, Do I stay living with mum and be unhappy or risk destroying my mum and ruining in family relationships to live with dad?
-NOTE - I did see a counsellor with this matter probably 6-8 months ago. | Can't stand living with mum but moving out to live with dad would break families good relationship and destroy mum, what do I do? |
t3_3p1bor | relationships | Me [22F] and my boyfriend [23F] are not friends on any social media | I've been dating my boyfriend for a month now and we are not friends on facebook, instagram, or any other social media.
When we first met, he did ask if I have facebook and I said yes but I never use it and he left it at that. A few weeks later, he said he found me on facebook and looked through my profile but never added me.
This sounds like a stupid issue but should I be concerned? He says that all his friends know about our relationship anyways. I really want to bring this up to him but I'm not sure if it's an issue to begin with. | should I be concerned about not being friends with boyfriend on social media? |
t3_2wiv5w | tifu | TIFU by telling my good vegan friend I value human lives more than animals' | So this person has become my closest friend over the past year. She's been a vegan for a little over 2 years now because she hates the idea of harming animals. Nothing wrong with that I don't like harming animals either, even decided to try being vegetarian and have been for over a month. Well anyways we got on the topic of shampoo and she was telling me how she needs to buy some again. I tell her that mine lasts for about 6 months and was only 10 bucks. She replies that hers lasted for 2 months, and was not tested on animals. I tell her that I simply cannot afford to buy a product like that, she washes her hair much less frequently than I do and spends triple what I do.
She got into how supporting the companies that I do supports animal cruelty and I just told her straight up: "I value human lives way above animals. Yes it's not right to treat animals cruelly and things are changing to where that is slowly phasing out. But I'd rather support a company that provides an affordable product than one that Is ripping people off simply by claiming to be "natural and animal testing-free"." That set her off. So many lashings out of anger like I was killing her. I apologized, looked up sources telling both sides of animal testing for the company I buy my shampoo from, and sent her them along with how I felt happy enough that they were making strides to eliminate animal testing. Didn't help.
I know this won't ruin our friendship but a word of advice to people: Don't ever get into an argument with your friend about something they strongly believe in and you could care less about. | Told my good vegan friend I don't care that I use a product that was tested on animals and hurt her feelings and possibly our friendship. Now I'm just an ignorant "animal cruelty supporter". |
t3_2ltoj7 | relationships | I don't know what to do right now. | Hi, i don't know if this is the right sub to post on. Throwaway account for reasons.
I have been dating a guy for over a year now. We are both 20 years old. We just recently moved in together; same house, different room, and separate leases. I have been dealing with depression for years now and he was the first person to bring me out of it. He was everything to me, he helped me see a future for myself and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I was happy. It was our 1 year anniversary last week and I found out recently that he has been cheating on me for months now. He has been talking to girls on Tinder but he says it was just that. He says he has never met anyone or done anything. i broke up with him & i honestly feel so lost & i don't know what I can do. I still love him so much but it seems like i don't matter to him anymore. He has brought a girl home already & has removed all traces of me from his life. It was like I was never there. He says he hasn't "done anything" with her yet, but it hurts so badly. I just want him back in my life but I think he has replaced me.
The only time I don't feel this pain is when I fall asleep. I don't know if I can make it right now. He was everything to me, he made me so happy, then he just took it all away. Please Reddit, what am I supposed to do? I still love him so much but I don't think he cares about me anymore. | Boyfriend cheated on me after 1 year of being together. He used Tinder but says it was just a way to vent. I broke up with him but I really want him back. He has seen this new girl twice alrwady, and plans to bring her to our place this week. What am i supposed to do? |
t3_32hois | relationships | Weird ex [23/F], I am [23M]. Strange social media interactions. Unfollowed/unfriended a month ago, refollowed on Twitter | Back story: she is not a very good person and did some grievous misdeeds with lying to me and dropping me suddenly. Names aren't real btw.
I have not had any luck dating lately and Boohoo I know, no reason to consider a shitty ex. But I'm curious as to what she's attempting to gain - I just want to see what it could possibly lead to. I wouldn't get back in a serious relationship with this person but I want all the fun times that aren't emotional, just fucking around and etc.
A month ago she messaged me recommending an anime after her relationship with the guy she dropped me for fizzled (for cheap instant gratification I never unfriended her so I could see that. Petty.) And I ignored it. A week later she unfollowed and unfriended me on Twitter and fb respectively. Then comes like two Sundays ago where she refollows me on twitter and favorites some tweets, the week after I drunkenly entertain and acknowledge that and fav some tweets like a dummy.
She messaged me saying "hi waldron, hope all is well :) thanks for liking my tweets! :P" and I messaged back saying "Hi Allie, I'm well. how are you?" No response since that a week ago and I'm just confused. What a strange person
I just wanted to share and I guess ask, what would her end game even be? I expect lots of getting ragged on for entertaining a shitty person - for some reason I want to experience some sort of debauchery and toxicity and she would be a good venue to indulge in that maybe. Idk. | bad ending ex refollowed on twitter after she unfollowed me and I engaged, no response after I responded to a message of her acknowledging my acknowledgement of her existence. |
t3_4cqlev | personalfinance | Multiple Long-term Disability Insurances | I am signed up for my employer-provided LTD insurance, which covers 60% of my income. I pay the premiums with after-tax dollars, so my disability benefits should not be taxed.
For peace of mind I would like to purchase a private LTD insurance. My employer-provided one isn't bad, but a combination of factors (employer can change providers, I will lose it if I change jobs, it turns from your-occupation to any-occupation after 24 months, etc.) makes me want to have a LTD insurance that I have complete control over.
However, when looking at policygenius.com I was told that 60% of my income is the max that all LTD insurances will cover, combined. Is that true? Can I not get multiple LTD insurances, pay the premiums, and "stack" the benefits, i.e. have insurance A cover 60% of my salary and insurance B cover 40%, thus getting 100% of my income covered?
I guess I understand the "we want to stop paying you disability and want you to go back to work" logic, but I wonder how that is enforced. If I tried to get a private LTD insurance would they check whether I already have a LTD insurance and deny me based on that? | Can I have multiple LTD insurances that when added together cover more than 60% of my income? |
t3_3s3ox1 | relationships | [19 M] First dates keep turning into therapy sessions | Hey folks, I've spent a large portion of my life researching into practical psychology and self improvement due to struggles with many emotional disregulation mental illnesses.
Now, most everyone genuinely interests me and I am a very selectively judgmental person, which I feel leads people to open up to me extremely quickly. All my dates go well from the perspective of the other person ends up liking me-but I feel like people invest in me way too much too quickly because I am very comfortable letting them talk about themselves and their personal struggle, and I think I encourage it as part of a passive savior complex. But I think at least on their side it leads to emotional instability from intimacy founded on sand.
This needless to say, reflects some boundary issues and while I enjoy exploring the mind of strangers-I feel it really screws up dynamics and makes me feel rather uninvested. I've worked on vulnerability and I do feel I share in equal portion to them-but I just don't feel the connection that comes with being on an emotionally equal playing field.
I will note this *doesn't* happen a couple times, and one of those times lead to a snazzy boyfriend, but this is still a chronic habit of mine. It doesn't happen with self assured well adjusted confident people since they don't seek that validation, so maybe this is just a filtering thing and representative that these folks \*probably\* wouldn't work with me anyhow? I have a lot of beliefs and traits that make me interested and willing to hear about peoples struggles, but I think it's suggests poor self respect on my part. | I struggle with constantly turning dates into me "guiding them" through very personal problems instead of moving forward together. Suggestions on an effective way to proceed given I want to not feel in a position of emotional authority over them? |
t3_1f2vey | dogs | 10.5 Week Old Pom Puppy With Dislocated Hip - Please Advise/Share Similar Experiences if Able | **First of all, yes she has been to the Vet and it was confirmed that her hip is dislocated.**
What bothers me is the Vet seemed oddly calm about this. While I am not new to dogs, I have never had one with hip issues before. I would imagine if a human had a dislocated hip, it wouldn't be something to barely discuss during our visit. The vet said surgery would likely be needed but the puppy could be fine on her own as is. (Which doesn't seem right to me, as the pup is clearly uncomfortable.)
One thing the Vet said that confused the heck out of me was that it was still okay for us to run around and play hard with the puppy. I don't think I would want to run around with a dislocated hip, yet the vet insisted that it would not exacerbate or worsen the issue. For those of you who have had hip issues with your dog, have you found that activity is okay to encourage?
We are looking into getting a surgical consult set up. However, the financial owners of the pup (my fiance's parents) are dragging their feet with the process. My fiance and I are unable to do anything because it is technically their dog but it breaks my heart to see the pup limping everywhere. | Our 10.5 week old pom puppy has a dislocated hip; until we can get a surgical consult, the vet assured us it was okay to continue to rough-house and exercise with the pup. Does that seem accurate? Fiance's parents are also taking their time with scheduling a surgical consult, is a dislocated hip not as serious of an injury as I'm imagining? |
t3_38evx3 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of 5 months. Accidentally pissed off her parents, need advise on how to proceed. | As some background, I met my girlfriend at a school competition, and she lives about an hour away. She lives with her dad and her stepmom, who are ridiculously strict.
School just ended, so I was curious if my g.f.'s parents would let me take her out. Her dad is a cool guy, but severely lacking balls, so any quesiton I ask him gets answered by the step-mom. The step-mom is ridiculously strict, to the point of allowing my g.f. no outside contact (besides school) for months becasue of small things (15 minutes late from school).
I text him yesterday asking if I could take his daughter out on thursday, he responded with "I prefer weekends". I'm a little confused by that, but whatever, I respond with "Now that school's over, isn't everyday the weekend?". That apparently pissed them off quite a bit.
Here's where I need some help. In a month or so, when I get back from vacation, my g.f. and I were gonna pack her stuff up (in secret, her step-mom cannot know at all), and she was gonna move to her moms house. Her mom is pretty nice, and was totally along with this. How do I, the boyfriend, get back into good relations with her dad and stepmom, in less than a month? | Pissed off my girlfriends parents, plans of her moving out are getting shaky. |
t3_2bwy56 | relationships | Boyfriend [29M] told me [23F] he can't take responsibility for checking out other women because it's "subconscious". | Boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. For the first year we were together, he was emotionally cheating and sexting a girl he used to hook up with. We've mostly moved passed it, except other women are a persistent issue.
He used to comment on how my friends and sister are fucking hot. We had to have several talks about this. I finally explained the sexual connotations with it and he stopped.
He checks out other woman constantly. And before this begins, let me say I've never had a problem with exs looking. I get people notice.
But his entire body language changes, he gets super sexual, STARES and does triple takes. We've had so many talks and he was getting okay for a bit until yesterday, when he did a triple take on a girl in a very short, see throughwhite crocheted dress. He literally looked back 3 times and held the stare for some time. When he looked back at me, the very first thing he said is "I wasn't checking her out." There was literally nothing else around us.
The worst part is he's doing nofap and we rarely have sex (4 a month max). I hate that I'm obviously not enough for him but he'll look at every girl and porn constantly. Plus I'm already insecure from the cheating.
He's also told some girl at a party, while shirtless, that'd he'd love to fuck her but he can't because he's taken, led her on all night and said he wasn't reaponsible for her kissing him at the end. He claims he pulled away.
When I tried to talk to him again today, after explaing why it's rude again, he said he can't take responsibility for what he does subconsciously and that every guy does it.
I can't get through to him that noticing is okay. Triple checking and being overtly sexual with other women is not.
I'm tired of it and I'm not sure if these are issues every girl has to go through with guys. | Boyfriend triple checks every hot girl who walks by. |
t3_367q5i | relationships | [23F] Is it normal to get jealous when other girls talk to my boyfriend? [23M] | We've been together for 6 months and this is my first relationship (I had severe social anxiety throughout my late teens/early 20's and am just starting to overcome it) I think I'm better looking than most girls, I don't feel insecure about other girls being prettier or him wanting to cheat or anything. I just don't like the fact that girls try talking to him even when they know he's my boyfriend. It makes me get like really angry feelings, I've never actually acted on it but I've felt like violent inclinations towards girls who talk to or are friends with him. I've mentioned a bit about the jealousy to my boyfriend but I don't think he knows how angry it makes me, I'm nervous about telling him about violent feelings or anything because I don't want to seem crazy. I read through all his texts/social media and I'm constantly worrying about other girls talking to him. I don't like going out in public with him much because once when we were walkin in a mall this group of girls was by us and they looked at him and that made me really pissed off. Please help. My native language is Spanish, so sorry if my English is not very well =/ | I get extremely jealous of other girls talking to my boyfriend and I even think about being violent towards them. I don't want to get theese feelings anymore. |
t3_r15w8 | AskReddit | Potential Proposal | Apparently a good friend of mine has a hard time holding onto a secret and recently spilled the beans that my current SO is planning to propose. We've been together for a couple years and I am delighted to hear this, overjoyed in fact. My concern is this, my SO is currently in Afghanistan and will be for many months. Since I've been told the news, I absolutely cannot get it off of my mind. I'm afraid that I'll let my hopes grow into something I cannot control, and that if it doesn't happen I'll feel terribly let down. The hours that my SO must work are increasing rapidly and our conversations are growing shorter. This concerns me, too. However, the mission is utterly important and any distance does not put my SO at fault. I wish I didn't know, because now I'm afraid I'll need much reassurance for something that shouldn't even be on my mind. What to do? | My SO wants to propose. My SO is out of the country. I wish that I didn't know. |
t3_vqmo2 | AskReddit | A week ago i had nothing, now I have both a job and I've been contacted by a company abroad that wants me for internship. Reddit, have you ever gone from zero to hero in confidence? | WARNING, EXCESSIVE BRAGGING!
A week ago I broke up with my longtime gf, and my life was shit. I felt like the worst looser ever, both professionally and personal. Jobless, semi-fat and nerdy.
Until yesterday. It all began with a tweet urging me to email a guy. Apparently his agency (who won 17 awards in cannes lions) had seen my work and loved it. They now want me for internship in their office, far away from my country.
Next thing I know, i'm called to an interview, and basically they decided on employing me right away. I start monday. As a part of my employment I get shares in the company (it's a startup).
I'm high on confidence at the moment, and i apologize for my bad spelling. | Life sucked, now it doesn't. |
t3_1n7emw | Cooking | Advice for my wife. | Hey guys, I have a question and hopefully you guys have some experience and therefore some advice for me. My wife doesn't like cooking much, but feels like she should. Her solution is to make food all at once and throw it in the fridge to be eaten thought the week. This sounds like an OK idea but food doesn't do very well just sitting in the fridge. So my first question is, do you have any recipes for good food that you can mostly prepare beforehand and then spend like 15 min putting together a few days later?
Next my second issue is that because she doesn't like to cook and really hates following recipes, her food is often less than desirable. It is still edible and not too bad, but sometimes it isn't what I enjoy eating. Because she basically will not follow any recipes, is there any training or such on how to "cook on the fly" / just ingredients (need flour, basil, and rosemary with some olive oil - that is about all she will follow)"? I ask, because as I mentioned above, her dishes are not that great sometimes because she won't follow a recipes . When I criticize any at all she just basically gives up, and it doesn't help that I am a rather picky eater. I'm stuck here. I work during the day and get home between 6 and 730 normally so I can't really cook myself or I would, and she gets rather frustrated when I don't like or eat her food. In addition we have a 2 year old daughter who is not only difficult to feed, she won't stay out of the kitchen with my wife while she cooks, complicating the issue of her cooking at night. | Need way to help get my wife training on how to make food in advanced and on the fly (no recipe just ingredients) for easy cooking during the week. |
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