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t3_475nvg | relationship_advice | Me [20/M] & my girlfriend [29/F] concerned about age gap and future, society and us? | Here's the story...
So I'm 20, soon 21, male.
My girlfriend recently turned 29.
As we've been together for half a year, we've been asking ourselves questions that would come with the "long-term goal" stuff. For instance, will this work out, what to do, etc.
Here's a back story: she's in a field that is forcing her to relocate to a place that's over 2 states away, but within reach nonetheless as her pay will be pretty darn good.
I, however, am still studying and in college for a bachelor's degree.
We've been in a long distance relationship for the duration of the past six months, and have been seeing each other once or twice a month for a long weekend or a week or more.
We are both really in love with each other, and I for one truly feel very strongly for her, but concerns are coming up.
For instance...
- Will she be too old, say, for kids and the likes when I've been established in the workforce and have a decent enough income.
- Will our age gap be too apparent and shamed upon by society?
- On that, will others think it's weird and frown upon this relationship of ours?
- Is it actually wrong to date someone older than you as a guy?
The issue now is that with her moving for two years, our visits won't be as frequent (also considering she only gets 3 weeks off per year).
This isn't to say our feelings will change, in fact I expect they'd grow stronger, but we still both are, plainly put, afraid of what is to come, and basically aren't sure if this is a "good idea" in the first place, but neither of us want to break up... She wouldn't have gone out with me had she not seen that I'm much more mature than people of my age.
What do you guys think?
Is this wrong? Is it fine?
Will she be too old? Am I too young? | Me (20M) & GF (29F) concerned about how to deal with age gap, whether it's "acceptable", and if we can hope for a future in general. |
t3_hn9bz | AskReddit | Men of reddit: What leads you to cheat? (Not what you think) | I know what you're thinking, reddit. I'm some girl that's upset because she just found out that her boyfriend/husband was cheating on her. In this case, I've recently found out that I was the "other woman."
But, it's more than that. This has happened more times than I can count. With the exception of (maybe) three lukewarm dates, any guys that have pursued me have had girlfriends or broken up the day before (usually the former). I'm never aware of this, and wouldn't think of getting involved with someone who wasn't single. And I always find out in a horrible way.
Finding out you're the other woman hurts more than I can say, especially when you really like the guy. It's a mixture of what, I imagine, it's like to be cheated on and shame. Somewhere there's a girl who is going to be hurt if she finds out about this. I always feel dirty and used. At the same time, I have the label of "the other woman," so it seems like my feelings don't matter anymore. I'm just that "slut" fooling around with a girl's guy.
Because this has happened *so many* times that I am beginning to feel this has to be my fault. It's like I have a sign hovering above me that says "Looking to cheat? Use her!" I'm trying to figure out what it is about me that lures these unavailable men. Trying to comfort me, some of my girlfriends say that I'm just too "chill and relaxed" which is appealing to guys if their girlfriend is naggy and/or bitchy.
So, men of reddit, if you've ever cheated on your significant other, what was it about the home-wrecker that drew you in? And what can I do to stop this from happening any more? It just makes me feel like a bad person. | The only guys interested in me are the ones looking to cheat on their significant other. What's the matter with me? |
t3_cm38v | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, what are your 1 minute/stranger love stories? | Have you ever had a moment where you just fell in love with a complete stranger for a short time, never to see them again?
Here's mine (I'm sure yours will be more interesting):
I was in a CD store with my friend and we were just looking around. My friend picks up a Nickelback album and says: "We should buy this. I heard it's awesome." (thankfully, he was being sarcastic). I then said: "Seriously, if you don't put it down I'll push you the fuck over. Really hard."
Then I hear this cute giggle turn into a cute laugh behind me. I turn around and there's this girl around my age (or a year or two younger) looking at me with a smile. She was amazing. I just stand there, staring at her. She then says: "You're funny. I like funny guys." and walks off and out of my life.
I continue to stand there just wondering what the fuck just happened. I didn't ask her name, or even respond. That sort of thing never happens to me. I've never just randomly met a girl and dated her. All my girlfriends have been people I've known for a little bit beforehand. | Cute girl laughed at my joke in Cd Store; Stole my heart and warmed my soul. |
t3_3aob3e | relationships | I [20 M] am 6'3" tall and have never had a girlfriend - or even much attention from women at all. | Gonna keep this short : I'm a 20 year old dude who has never had a girlfriend. I find that generally women tend to ignore me. I'm a university student so theoretically am in the best time to meet new people but it simply isn't happening. Been feeling a little bit lonely over this lately. I've been told before that I am an extremely friendly person, so the fact that my personality isn't too shitty makes me wonder if there's simply something wrong with my appearance (AKA girls find me ugly). I've become very bitter when by myself.
I'm a very tall 6'3" and lanky. I hear a lot of stuff online and elsewhere about how girls supposedly like tall dudes. See for me this is like a curse - I've become very self-conscious about my height, to the point that I wish I was shorter. Honestly feel like being so tall and skinny makes me intimidating to girls. In addition, maybe being a minority (I'm black) also severely limits my dating pool and contributes to people's perception of me as unattractive. Even at this height I absolutely NEVER get 'checked out' by women - not even so much as a smile. Quite the opposite, many girls truly act like they are repulsed be me. At this point I just am starting to think that I'm the complete opposite of what the majority of women find even remotely attractive. Just feel kind of undateable right now. | What exactly can I do to improve my self-esteem and crazy beliefs about myself, and realize that I AM deserving of a healthy relationship? |
t3_2wup6b | relationships | Me [17 M] wanting to date my [18 F] not so close friend and very close friend of ex | I've been wanting to date a girl I went to high school with for a while now, who I asked to prom and is a very close friend of my ex.
The relationship with my ex only lasted for about 2 months and didnt really go anywhere (not even a kiss) but we were both each others' first gf/bf. We had an amicable split up almost exactly a year ago and since we graduated we have hung out a bit due to overlapping friend groups.
Since graduating ex has made out with one of my not so close friends at our post-grad party, and "allegedly" fucked another at schoolies (australian, week long post graduation party) while incredibly drunk.
The girl I want to ask out has been friends with ex since about year 4 I think. As I said, I asked her to prom and ex didnt go to friends "pre-party" (went to one with another of her very close friends, not sure if related). At the time, we were just kinda friends/acquaintances and she was seeing someone else.
Girl has since broken up with other guy and we have been spending more, but still not much time together and we occasionally fb/snapchat.
Going to her 18th party soon (a few friends, not a massive invite everyone and get smashed kinda party) and considering asking her out, but I'm not sure if its a good idea considering past with ex.
Girl seems kinda interested but I'm not sure if I'm misreading things because shes a very happy and enthusiastic kinda person anyway. | want to date close friend of ex who appears to have moved on |
t3_2l2ffl | relationships | Me [22 M] with my best friends, they forgot my birthday | I don't know if I'm overreacting or just being plain silly. But it was my birthday a week ago, I turned 22. Two of my closest friends, both of whom are overseas, didn't say anything to me - in fact, they haven't spoken to me at all.
I'm kinda peeved at this, I keep in touch with them and we're all quite close with one another. In fact, this isn't the first time it's happened, one of them actually forgot my 20th. I tried talking to one of them today, but she said she wasn't in the mood for a catch up because she was "PMS-ing".
What should I do? Should I just shrug this off or bring it to up them? | Two of my closest friends forgot my birthday. They haven't said anything about it yet. It feels sucky. What should I do? |
t3_50w52w | relationships | My mom [53F] frequently asking me [20F] for advice on making memes for Facebook pages she runs, gets upset that I'm not interested | I just started my junior year of college and have a very busy schedule. My mom works from home and as part of her job she admins a couple FB pages, plus a few more devoted to political causes she believes in. She always wants to use memes on her pages even though imo this looks unprofessional on her business pages but whatever, the problem is that she feels entitled to ask me to make them for her because I'm younger and "know what's cool and will get attention". I find this annoying and don't even really care for memes at all in the first place which I have told her. Just because I'm 20 doesn't mean I follow this stuff or care.
She will send me at least several messages a week either showing me her attempt at making a meme, asking me to make one if she can't figure out how, or asking me out of a list of ideas for them which one sounds funniest. If I try to change the subject and ask anything else about what she's been up to or tell her anything about my own life, she gets snappy and short with me. If I ignore her she will stop for a few days, but then will either call or send a long email where she talks about how it's disrespectful of me to blow off her messages or not keep in touch with her like other kids do with their parents.
It's all really frustrating. How can I stop this pattern? | mom always asking for my help in making memes for her FB pages when I don't find this fun or interesting or have the time. If I say so or ignore the messages she gets upset. |
t3_29dfyp | legaladvice | [CAN, ON] Is this a penalty clause and is it admissible? | So I 'loaned' a tool for a certification program and paid for it annually to be allowed to partake in the cert program. The contract stated I would be entitled to keep the tool upon receiving the certificate AND paying a negligible fee (i.e. one penny).
I completed the full payment cycle for the tool (i.e. the program is expected to take 4 years, so I made 4 annual payments for the tool). Due to some circumstance, I never accepted my certification and therefore was never eligible to make the negligible payment to keep the tool. I neglected to return the tool after deciding not to re-enroll.
The contract had a line that states I must return the tool when they require it. They require the tool to be returned and renewed EVERY year/cycle. Failure to do so will result in a $2000 fine after 5 days. Funny thing is I neglected to return it at least 2 out of the 4 years and they never bothered me, only after I never re-enrolled this line in the contract 'came into play' and they started sending me bills.
When speaking with their front man, it became quite clear that while they will accept the tool the arbitrary sum will not be reduced. If I pay the sum, they do not 'expect' the tool to be returned. So logically, they've abandoned their property and substituted it for an arbitrary amount of cash.
I honestly believe that their activity is nefarious. They tried to withdraw the money behind my back from student loans, luckily since I didn't re-enroll that didn't go through. They never contacted me regarding it's return EXCEPT on their proprietary PM systems which I obviously don't use if I dropped out and they deactivated my account. I think their activity is quite vile but I'm not interested in making any fraud claims (if you think I'm an idiot to think I can make this claim it's because I've left out some more specific details).
I just want to know if they're bluffing. They don't have shit do they? Collections has been threatening my credit rating for a year now and nothing has come of it. | I read a google link that said penalty clauses are inadmissible in CAN,ON |
t3_1iqbud | AskReddit | (Not even sure this is the right place for this question.) My cat has a UTI. I have two different antibiotics that are often used to treat humans for UTI's, are either of these okay to give my kitty? If so, which one will be more useful? | So my cat definitely has a UTI. I have a non-prescription gel that I bought from Pet Smart (Just started today). I love him like a child though and want to get this taken care of as quickly as possible. If taking him to the vet is the only sure way for me to get rid of this then I will do so first thing in the morning. But, for now, I have Ciprofloxacin (500) and Azithromycin (250) at my house. I've been reading online that a lot of human antibiotics are safe to give to cats for these kinds of things. Are either of these safe to give him? Also, will they be more effective than the gel I have for him? (GNC Ultra Mega Urinary Tract Support). To all you veterinarian Redditors out there, help me please! | My cat has a UTI. Is it safe to give him Azithromycin 250 or Ciprofloxacin 500 and if so, will either of them be effective in treating it? |
t3_1xnx5q | relationships | I [23f] met him [21M] on okcupid things had being going well, suddenly very confused | We met on okcupid and seemed to get along very well. We've been seeing each other for a little bit over a month now. I feel like we have been getting closer recently. I even spent the night at his place and it was great.
The last time I saw him was on sunday. I called him today to see if he wanted to hang out. He said maybe and that he would call me later. He sounded different. He never called me. I went on okcupid just to check his page and it said he was on yesterday. Am I overreacting? | Feeling worried about minor things. not sure if they mean more or if I am overreacting. |
t3_eaask | AskReddit | Reddit, I never wanted to be the cliché person posting something like this but I need some help. Especially if you are creative. | I am 21 years old, and moved to NYC about 7 months ago. All of my family lives in NC.
About 3 years ago, my entire family broke apart. My father got sick and lost his job- which then spiraled out of control into my parents house becoming foreclosed, their divorce and massive debt. My father moved back into his father's (my grandfather's) house and my mother rented a small 2 bedroom house close to my brother's school (who is only 15). Since then, my sister (who is 19) became (and is now a recovering) oxycodone/heroin addict- who does not speak with my family. My mother works 3 jobs just so she can barely pay the bills and have food on the table. My father has not fully recovered from his ailment (severe gout) and is still unable to find a job. His unemployment has run out and frankly I think he has given up hope because of his failing health. I have even taken the initiative to create an email account for him and re-do his resume with him over the phone and send them out to jobs for him as encouragement.
My mother called me today so she could help me with my financial aid benefits application and broke down crying in the middle of our conversation. She asked me what she should do, and I immediately became speechless. I can barely afford my rent and didn't have the heart to tell her that I have eaten Subway now for 8 days straight and that I can't afford to make it home for Thanksgiving.
I am not trying to gain sympathy or get money donations, that is not the point of this post. I grew up in a fairly wealthy middle-class home and experienced none of these problems in the past- so I am completely in the dark about little things I could possibly do to help since I live in another city.
Does anyone have any (fairly cheap) ideas that could help me encourage my family that things are going to get better? Thanks to anyone who read all of this, I have had a hard time making good friends since I moved cities and don't feel like I have anyone to really talk to about this. | grew up middle-class, 3 years ago everything fell apart; house foreclosed, dad lost job, parents divorce, etc.. I moved away from them to find a better job and want to know cheap, creative ways to encourage them throughout the holidays. |
t3_1mm50n | relationships | I[16M] like this girl [16F] but I think I screwed it up | I am super duper shy. There was a girl in my class last year that I liked alot. We had assigned seats and sat right next to each other. I talked to her the first day. I went home added her on fb and then talked to her there. It was all good, normal conversation. But me being beta as fuck was super awkward and didn't know what to say so I didn't talk to her at all. for like the whole time we sat next to eachother until we got new seats. A few weeks later I decided to talk to her on fb again so I said hey and she didn't reply. And for some reason about a month later I messaged her again and still haven't talked to her in real life this whole time. And then in the summer I messaged her again. All times no response. did I already screw everything up? First impression and all that? | I was super awkward and tried to only talk to a girl I liked on fb even though she sat right next to me. |
t3_1rwdiz | offmychest | I'm feeling trapped, and she's in the other room, and I don't know what to do. | I have a five year old, so there's that out of the way. Her mother's not in the picture. I started dating a woman about seven months ago. A few months ago, I asked her to marry me. About a month ago, I started to feel like maybe she wasn't the right woman - to spend the rest of my life with, to be a mother to my daughter, to help me grow as a person, etc. A few weeks ago, we found out she's pregnant, despite using birth control. She's completely driven by her emotions, whereas I'm much more logical, and I have no idea how to bring any of this up. My prediction is that she'll feel personally wronged and attacked, go ape-shit, spitefully choose to carry to term, and it'll all end terribly. I have no idea what to do. | I decided my fiance's not the right woman for me, and then we found out she's pregnant. |
t3_1bebmm | AskReddit | Reddit, is it bad for attraction to be significantly altered by religious beliefs? | If I meet and am initially attracted to someone, all it takes is mention of our lord and savior or going to church or something to completely turn me off. And yes, this happened today which is why it's on my mind. I still find myself feeling guilty for letting one little thing get to me like that, but I just can't imagine being compatible or intellectually aligned to someone who subscribes to that rhetoric. I dunno.
I'd love to hear from others who experience similar reactions, or anyone with thoughts on the matter. I'd also love to hear from people who've had successful relationships with someone of a different religious background. | Most serious religious beliefs are, to me, a turn-off. What about you? |
t3_hb2tf | relationship_advice | He's just not that into me, right? | I'm 20 (girl) and he's 21; we met in class a while ago (attend the same college) and became friends. We talk nearly every day about all kinds of things (music, movies, things we find annoying, the internets, etc.) - we're absurdly compatible. He's smart, funny, and cute, and while I'd like to think of myself as any combination of those qualities, I find it nearly impossible to act normal around him because of my massive crush.
He gives me few indicators that he has any romantic or sexual inclinations toward me whatsoever, but just as I'm writing him off completely, I'll get a text or IM about something completely random or hilarious and find myself unable to pull away from him. He blushes whenever we talk in person, and seeks my approval on everything from the memes he creates to the sale dvds he buys. He constantly tries to impress me by bragging about success in even the most mundane of areas.
Also, we'll usually contact each other somehow when under any influence, but plans to spend time together or meet up are usually somehow only joked about/lost in the conversation. I know that this is primarily the description of a standard platonic friendship, but he took forever to ask for the most basic contact information and we don't spend much time together (despite talking constantly), which I just find questionable. The things he texts me....how he goes out of his way to make sure I've appreciated something he's done.....his jokes about being forever alone.....he's so hard to read!
Somebody, ANYBODY, preferably multiple people, tell me I just need to move on already. My friends tease me about how weird our relationship is. I would too. ApologiezZz for length. | I talk all the time to a good friend, and I can't tell if he's completely disinterested or just shy. |
t3_103alw | personalfinance | Student loan in (administrative) forbearance - will this hurt me? | please let me know if any further details or clarifications are needed :)
I received a scholarship in college that had a post-school work requirement. If the requirement was not met (which it was not) it will turn into a loan with interest. A couple days ago I received a statement in the mail. It's not a bill, and I called the lender to verify that it's not a bill and no balance is currently due from me. A loan repayment plan hasn't even been generated for me by the lender but I should be receiving communications about repayment in the near future. and I'm welcome to make payments now if I want to.
Here's where I get concerned: the loan is in forbearance, some sort of administrative forbearance. the scholarship ($6k) was converted to a loan and started accruing interest (8%) on July 25. They are calling this the accrual period begin date. the accrual period end date is Sept 30. the statement says there is an anticipated capitalization amount of $242 and change on Jan 26.
other than the fact that I'm currently accruing interest, will this forbearance status have any negative effect on my credit? I ask because I'm getting ready to lock in for a mortgage in the next couple weeks. when I spoke with the lender, I also asked if this is currently being reported to the credit bureaus and was told it is not because it's not in repayment and there isn't even a repayment plan associated with the loan yet. is this true, or should I call back and get a second opinion from another customer service rep at the lender?
as a general note, since I imagine this will come up in discussion, I'm not prepared to make any payments on this loan any sooner than required by the lender or when the dust settles with mortgage/house initial costs - whichever comes first. however, if this forbearance status is way more harmful than I realize, I will gladly hear reasons why I should start tackling it immediately. | scholarship turned into a loan and automatically went into forbearance. locking in a mortgage in two weeks. will this loan hurt my credit between now and closing on the house in a little over two months? |
t3_1sjrfd | relationships | I'm [22F] so frustrated with communication styles | I've [22F] come to find from my recent relationship failures, that I'm an emotionally dependent person. I'm trying hard to combat this, but at the end of the day, I feel like this is how I've been programmed. I tend to rely on my significant others and often times that means I want a 30 minute phone call to just talk
The last two relationships that I've been in both ended after two months. It's always been this scenario:
Things start off strong, we're infatuated with each other. We see each other and talk to each other all the time. I'm blissfully happy. Things cool down, slowly they don't want to see me more than once/twice a week. I feel like a pest for asking them to call me once during the weekday to hold me over until the weekend. Their lack of desire to call me during the weekday puts me in a depressive spiral where I feel horrible about myself. Finally it drives me to breaking up with them due to differences in the expected level of communication. They both tell me that they're too busy to communicate as much as I'd like them to.
I'd like to think that I'm a very balanced and logical person in all aspects of my life, but for whatever reason the past two relationships have brought out the worst in me.
I guess my question really is, have I been unreasonable? All I really want is to have a SO that WANTS to see me and WANTS to talk to me. I feel like I'm pulling teeth! Have I just had bad luck in my choice of guys? :( | Past two relationships failed miserably because I felt like I was making it such a chore for them to talk to me on the phone 1/week or to hang out more during the weekends |
t3_2m0na8 | relationships | Me [16 F] with my boyfriend [16 M] 7 months, got caught in a lie | I had a previous relationship with a girl. My boyfriend knows about this, but it was a weird topic for a while and I was extremely nervous that letting him know the details would create issues early on in our relationship. Since then, I've come to trust him a heck of a lot more, I could honestly tell him anything with confidence. But today, I made a joke which made him wonder about it, so I told him that I had in fact kissed and made out with my previous girlfriend. This hurt him because he said that I told him point blank earlier in our relationship that I had never kissed her before, and had very strongly kept that assumption up. He says that our relationship doesn't bother him at all, but the fact that I lied to him. Morality is extraordinarily important to him. So my question is, how do I help to make things better? | I lied to my boyfriend early on in our relationship, the truth just came out. How do I make him feel better and fix our relationship? |
t3_jdqrh | AskReddit | I'm married and I like living vicariously through other people. Please tell me about your most awesomely sweet sexual encounter...slowly... | I was 17 and at my parents house on one of my first dates with my girlfriend. I thought, "I have the best idea to get her to think I'm cute!" and threw in some old VHS home movies.
This was working out great until all of the sudden one of the tapes started playing scrambled porno. Apparently I had taped over the videos with porn off of the Spice channel. Young folks might not realize, but the channels that you didn't pay for (including the porn channels) would come in scrambled (see below) - you'd even get sound most of the time.
Anyway, I was mortified, but it actually seemed to get her in the mood. We ended up making out and I felt her boobies for the first time that night.
10 years later we got married. | Taped scrambled porn over home videos, watched the videos with girlfriend, was mortified - but it actually got her in the mood (or something like that), felt boobies. |
t3_2j4bnf | relationships | I [26/m] have been seeing this girl [18/f] for about a month now but she wont add me on facebook? | So I've been seeing this girl for about a month now and things are pretty good. My previous relationship ended with her cheating on me so I am still extremely insecure and catch myself attacking this new girl verbally with some outrageously insinuating accusations of her just using me and being with me because she's "bored." But she has a very healthy way of diffusing the situation.
I recently told her about how my previous relationship ended because my ex has been bothering me quite a bit as of late. (I guess she found out im seeing someone new so she's been calling/emailing and reaching out via social media.) Once she found out that I got cheated on, she said it explained a lot of my actions and thanked me for being so open and that she somewhat figured that's what was going on. She assured me that we will both need to work together on building trust and to get rid of the insecurities and she has helped me feel extremely at ease about all of that.
However, in the last few days, what's been bothering me a bit is that she won't/hasn't added me on Facebook yet. I am not all that active on Facebook but I know she is. We often bring up Facebook in conversation ("I saw this/that on Facebook the other day...") but she won't add me or ask me to add her. I know it's a very minor thing but my insecurities are taking over and I'm starting to think that maybe she's embarrassed to make our relationship public. Her friends all know of me, but don't know much about me because they've never seen me. Could it be that she doesn't want her friends stalking me? Is she embarrassed about our age difference? It's driving me mad... Should I add her? I mean, I could, but what was the reason for her not doing so? | Her not adding me on Facebook or asking me to add her is driving me a little mad... am I over-thinking? Are my insecurities from my previous relationship holding me back from fully enjoying myself with this new girl? |
t3_3rdx2b | relationships | My [33 M] wife [30 F] says she doesn't want to be married | So, after eight years together, two years of marriage, and a new home, my wife says she doesn't think she's supposed to be married.
She says it's not me - that she loves me. But that she just can't stand being accountable to other people when she's making decisions. That she feels like she's under a microscope, that she feels totally overwhelmed with obligations and schedules and family get-togethers.
I think that we're just going through a tough transitional period - it was a difficult move, and buying a new house is stressful. I think that once everything is where it belongs, and we settle into a bit of a groove, things would be easier. We can work on those things, and talk to a counselor, and things will get better.
She says she thinks she's different now, but comparing the weight of a few months of bad feeling to eight years of shared history, I feel like she's just cornered and making decisions on impulse.
She wants to go away, to a hotel, to "rest." I don't want her to leave, I want her to stay and work on this, on us.
I don't know what to do. I can't stop crying. | My wife is overwhelmed, says she can't be married. I've spent a quarter of my life with her. Any advice would help. Or just sympathy. |
t3_3q6f6w | relationships | Me [19 M] with myself. Lack any confidence to talk to girls. | Relevant background: I'm 19 yo. male student. I've just started my second year and am renting a house and living with some friends.
I don't really talk to girls when I go out with friends. I know a lot of people meet their eventual husband/wife in university and I'm really afraid at the end of these 4 years I'm going to realize I didn't meet anyone and will just be by myself.
A lot of these issues comes with a lack of confidence, I'm a fairly undersized guy and don't really have time to work out as I have a lot of class and work outside of class. I feel like girls won't find me attractive and just overall lack the confidence to approach them. I also don't have a lot of past experience so I don't really have any past success to build off of. I don't know what to say or good conversations to have (in a party setting). Also I don't want to come off as a tool or some douche bag. This is mainly towards girls that I don't know that well/at all.
Additionally due to this is tend to stick with my boys which I know can sometime be annoying for them as they are trying to talk to other people as well.
As a result I try and compensate by getting really drunk as I think it will give me more confidence. When I do loose control and just do some dumb-ass shit, which often negatively impacts my friends. Also I just make a fool of myself which is funny and all but probably doesn't help in girls want to hook up with me. I always feel really bad in the morning but as a result I just regret going out.
I'm really starting to get some anxiety towards the fact that in 3 years I'm going to look back and realize I didn't do anything useful love wise in university and just really need some strategies to talk to girls and maybe meet someone and overall just be a bit less awkward. | Afraid I'm drifting through university and won't meet any girls. Lack of confidence is primary issues. |
t3_2s4fcm | relationships | [M28]F[26] - dated around 8 or 9 months - Need advice for tomorrow night, could be a date to save relationship... | So story goes - dating a girl since april or so, We have recently had some issues with each other (starting december-ish?) but I really want it to work with her. She is the only women I have ever been this intimate and felt this way about. She has been asking for some space and time, and isn't feeling intimate towards me (physically OR emotionally). I finally had some talks with her and we are going to hang out tomorrow night.
We are from ohio so we are watching the game together (or possibly with her dad, still waiting to see what he is doing) and I think it is like a date. I talked her into letting me go on a date or two with her, because she wasn't having as much fun together as we used to, but I don't know how to treat it.
So bottom line I am reaching out, i will take any advice i can. I was planning on treating it like a date and getting a rose or something and dressing nice and so on, but I don't know really how to treat it. Has anyone had similar issues or have any advice.
We decided to try a few dates instead of space, but still kind of backing off a little. This is the first of those few dates and I need to show her how much fun we can have and that we are compatible and all....I just don't know what to do. I know there isn't a magical "buy her flowers and kiss her hand" type solution but I was hoping someone had some kind of similar story or advice...
Anyways, I know this thread is for this kind of thing but sorry for the emotional vomit, I have never reached out like this....any help is appreciated. Thanks! | Going on date tomorrow night to save relationship - need help with how to treat it. |
t3_19tnsk | dating_advice | [19M] Wondering what my next move should [19F] | Background:
I recently started FB messaging a girl I used to have classes with in first semester of college. During the first semester she had a boyfriend. But they broke up and its been a couple months since its happened. When we first started talking again that was one of the first things that she told me.
More recent:
We would talk every so often on FB. Out of the blue a couple days ago she gave me her number and told me to text her instead. So I did. We started talking some more and now we have been meeting up at the school's library. She found out that I have started to workout and is all of a sudden working out now as well. Do you think this a coincidence or is something a foot?
I do like this girl, but Im nervous that I will do something to screw up or push her away. I also find that when I do talk to her I get nervous and run out of things to say.. | Started talking to a girl again that I met in first semester. She Gave me her number, told me she is single. Found out I am working out and is now as well. Not sure how to proceed |
t3_gbpzq | dogs | Dog Escapes! | Share your stories about your dog escaping and what you did to get him/her back.
It happened to me today! At the dog park, as you all know, we have a double gate system so dogs cannot simply run out of the dog park into the rest of the park/street/world. Well my shiba inu is an escape artist, and this incompetent couple opened both gates simultaneously for a good 5 seconds. I got up in panic to tell them to close it, but it was too late and my shiba inu bolted (zoomed) out. I ran out and chased for him. He ran around the park and then ran down the hill onto the street. Luckily he sprinted down the sidewalks and into a residential zone, where he ran through a bunch of backyards. Fortunately some residents were in their yard and held him so I could run around and retrieve him. Sigh...a good half-mile chase.
When I got back to the dog park that crap couple left. Other dog owners said when I ran for my dog they quickly rushed off. Assholes.
Sooo what about you guys? I was so freakin' worried he was going to get hit by a car...
BTW, should I be angry at my dog? Like, be all aww he doesn't know any better...or grr he knows better and is fucking with me on purpose!! | people opened both gates at the dog park and my dog escaped. Caught him far, far away, but asshole people ran away in cowardice. Share your stories! |
t3_1np7dm | relationships | Advice on helping my friend through a (possible) breakup | Weird situation right now and I [M] need help.
I received a couple messages from my friend [F] 20 minutes ago, and based on that and a couple other things, I think she might have just been dumped by her BF of 3 years
---
**My Reasoning**
* one of her messages said she was "fucking falling apart"
* she also mentioned going out with a mutual friend [F] of ours tonight. Two weeks ago, mutual friend went through a breakup, and they both went out for the night.
* talked about doing something tomorrow because it was better than being home sobbing
* only occurs to me now, but she had mentioned she was having trouble reaching her BF last couple of days.
---
That's my reasoning. After all that, my thoughts were either she was dumped or a family member died.
---
Now here is the thing: provided that I am correct in thinking she was dumped, what can I do (if anything) to help her, and be there for her? Now there are two complicating factors:
1. We just met roughly 2 months ago.
2. I have feelings for her, and she knows I do. | Girl I have known and been friends with for 2 months may have gotten dumped. What can I [M] do to be there for her, and not come off as having ulterior intentions? |
t3_383aot | relationship_advice | [18/m] texting a girl [18/f] but im shy af irl | im [18/m] a pretty outgoing guy i can be shy but i tend to get over it after some persuading ive been texting this girl [18/f] for about 2 months before we got "serious" i had no problem speaking to her i would flirt with her as if we were seeing each other and it was all well and good but now im actually talking to her and we both really like each other im really shy around her i text her confidently but in school when i see her my heart just starts racing and i dont know what to do i cant even start a conversation with her cos im too shy and afraid i could fuck it up but with that said since i dont speak to her in school she told her friend she's really angry i dont show her attention and im worried she's gonna stop liking me and i dig this chick (yeah i just said that) please help and how do i over come this, also whenever i got the balls and im feeling to speak to her, she;s always with friends and that really puts me off i just want it to be me and her but i wanna show her i can say all the shit i say to her over text in front of anyone i dont want her thinking im insecure and embrassed of her or anything cos she's told me she been played a few times before
[ | I reallly like this girl not love her or anything been speaking over text for about 2 months im super confident over message but irl im shy af help please] |
t3_4t79d4 | relationships | Me [26 M], permanent grass is greener syndrome. Help please. | I will try to keep this short and sweet. I am simply looking for any advice that y'all will give me.
I am a 26M and currently casually dating 24F.
Here lies my problem. I get a lot of attention from girls - a lot. I realize I am attractive as well, so that doesn't help the situation. I constantly feel like there is someone out there better for me. I don't know if this is truly because I'm unhappy with who I am dating, or because I just 'think' I can do better. I have never cheated on anyone I have dated, and honestly, I haven't dated that much anyways. So here's my question: how do I get over the hump of having a big head from constant attention so I can devote my attention fully to who I am currently with? | I am an attractive male. I don't want to feel like the grass is always greener with current partner. Any advice appreciated. |
t3_2uxwo4 | relationship_advice | How to talk to her dad? | I'm a 17 year old guy. This girl and I have been talking since about November-ish, but in order for us to officially date, I have to talk to her dad about it. She told me in around December that I would have to talk to her dad about us dating before we actually started to date, but nothing else was mentioned. I have met her dad before, but holding conversation with him for an extended period of time is still awkward. I can ask him whenever I want, so it's just when I figure out how I want to do it. How should I bring it up and how should I ask him? Any help would be great :D | I need to ask my girlfriend's father for permission before we date |
t3_2dm5kb | relationships | I[21 F] went on a date with [25 M] but still not over ex | Went on a date with a nice guy but I'm still not over my ex. How can I tell him I don't really want to date without hurting him?
I thought I could go on a simple date and not have it be a big thing, but allow me to see that I can eventually move on and that I'm not undesirable as the breakup made me feel. Yet, he seems to want way more then what I can emotionally provide now, and probably not for a few more months yet. | Went on a date with a nice guy but I'm still not over my ex. How can I tell him I don't really want to date without hurting him? |
t3_1vidba | pettyrevenge | Unplanned Gym Teacher Revenge | Ill start off this story by saying that I have a last name that is very hard to pronounce. It is spelled a way that makes it seem completely different than how it is said. In about 8th grade I had a gym teacher who was a dick. He didnt like me for some reason, and everyday for attendance he would pronounce my last name wrong. In the beginning I would correct him and he would snicker telling me "Ill write it down for next time" or things along those lines. Eventually I gave up correcting him and let him think he was cute and funny.
Next year rolls around and I have this same teacher for my Health class. During the "drugs" section we had a fill in the blank homework assignment which I found stupid and a waste of time. I left a couple answers blank, and wrote "cats" in one of the blanks. The next class I got the assignment back with 100%, he didnt even look at it. I showed a girl Lauren and said "Look, I wrote cats as an answer and Mr. Dbag didnt mark it wrong!" We both laughed and she snatched the paper from my hands and yells "MR DBAG DAVID WROTE CATS AS AN ANSWER AND YOU DIDNT MARK IT WRONG!!!!" The entire class starts laughing at him, myself included, and he turns bright red. He walks over and grabs my paper, and after looking over it he starts yelling at me that I was a jerk and stupid and he was going to fail me for being a wiseguy. "Well youre the one who gave me a hundred when I left answers blank" with a nice smirk was my reply. He didnt fuck around with me after that. Whose cute and funny now dick? | teacher was an asshole, always fucking up my name on purpose. i fucked around on a homework assignment and left answers blank/wrote ridiculous answers. teacher gave me 100%, teacher gets made fun of and class laughs at him. he gets pissed. |
t3_52hi71 | relationships | I [30 F] offered to help my friend [52 F] of two years with her thesis, but she's been rather mean lately. Am I horrible person for reconsidering? | My friend and I were in similar PhD programs at the same university. I graduated this past summer, and she's still working on her thesis. Research has been sort of challenging for my friend--part of the issue is that it makes her very anxious because she doesn't have a lot of experience in research or writing. I actually think the anxiety is more of block for her than actual research acumen--she's a decent researcher and writer.
Throughout our programs, I've helped her a lot with research and research design stuff. She's been using me as an unpaid editor/stats consultant/research consultant on her thesis proposal. I don't mind helping friends--I helped a really close friend line edit her doctoral thesis, for example. The issue is that lately, my friend in question has been judgmental, rude, and almost mean to me on several occasions. She has a tendency to be rather mother-knows-best and assigns any unhappiness as a sign of "not trying hard enough." She's said hurtful things to me and than refused to apologize, saying that she is older therefore knows better, and then either given me the silent treatment or criticized me until I've broken down and actually thanked her for whatever hurtful thing she said.
Her meanness is making me not want to help her with her thesis proposal anymore, honestly. I've spent maybe 10-15 hours on it so far, which isn't a ton, but it's unpaid work. However, I promised her that I would help her get through her degree and would probably feel bad bailing. What do I do? | I offered to help my friend with her doctoral thesis, but her recent meanness is making me reconsider. |
t3_13tmsd | relationships | sexless relationship [21m] | I [21M] am in relationship with a girl [21] for 2 years, loves her a lot.
But we didn't have sex or any intimacy in last 4 months.
Back then, she said she is stressed because of her exams and need some time off. I gave her that time, but its been 1 month since those got over and we still haven't done it.
I talked to her and she suggested she want to continue like this for next 5-6 months.
Apparently she consider sex and love are two different things in a relationship and one can have a happy relationship without sex for years.
How to make her realize that that sex is as important as love in an adult relationship, without it, it's nothing but friendship. | in relationship for 2 years, girlfriend thinks sex isn't important for a relationship, how to convince her otherwise. |
t3_ktcdi | AskReddit | I'm considering dropping everything and moving to England to work on a farm or train. Thoughts/advice? | I have no idea what I want to do with my life.
I'm 22 years old and it's driving me crazy. I go to an American University and have a few semesters to go on a difficult degree, but I'm pretty sure I'm not even interested in getting it anymore and I'm tired of wasting my time and money. I'm intelligent, but I have a poor work ethic and I'm ashamed of the trouble I've had thus far in University and really feel like I need some time to figure myself out.
I don't have anything tying me down where I am, and have about $7,000 dollars. Right now I'm looking at an organization called WWOOF that can put volunteers on organic farms, but I also love the thought of working for a train company over there. I was in England for a little while and I couldn't stop thinking how much I might like that job, as mundane and simple as it is.
I'm just not sure how to go about doing this. I don't imagine immigration over there will be too happy about me just going over and working, or where I'll stay. As nice as all of it sounds, the logistics of it seem difficult. But I'm not happy right now, I dislike my life and want to go somewhere else. When I try to think what would make me happy all I can think is working on a train in England (or possibly a cruise ship?). I don't know, I just feel like I'm going crazy staying here doing this.
Does anyone have any advice? Perhaps someone who was in a similar situation, or someone who has experience dealing with English immigration? I have a passport by the way. | Unhappy with my life, want to move far away and work on a train. Help please. |
t3_41x20m | relationships | Just found out Girl I'm in love with [17 F] struggles with depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts. Never dealt with this before and I just want to help her. | So me and this girl have gotten very close over the last little while, lets call her L, and I think I'm in love with her. I knew that she had issues with cutting herself in the past but she said she was over it and i made her promise not to do it again.
But recently she's been having life problems, and she sent me a picture of cuts on her ankle. Her last boyfriend made her feel like she isn't good enough, and the one before that was mentally abusive and made her feel the same thing and no matter how hard i try to make her see that she is I don't think she believes me.
she talks about how she wants to kill herself more now and it scares me so much to think of her not here anymore. I never dealt with something like this before.All I want to do is help her but I don't know how? How can I help her? | Girl is suicidal and self harms and I want to help her but I don't know how |
t3_49ganz | personalfinance | 24, full time worker on minimum wage (38k/year) and wondering how to pay off debt/save? | [AUSTRALIA]
So as the title suggest, I get about $2800 after taxes a month.
I have debt for 22k for a car I just bought, I have debt to the government for 1.1k and have just paid off my other debt.
I have about $40k student loans which are deducted from each pay once I earn over 55k/year (which I obviously don't) so until I earn that higher amount I'm pretty well not paying off student loans.
Basically what I want to know is what would you suggest as a plan of attack to have $$.
I'm recently single and moved back in with my Dad, I pay out about $350/month rent to him, pay $300-$350/month for food and I really LOVE having savings but also love being debt free.
My 1.1k debt is interest free as it's a gov loan and my car is $700/month which I'm paying $1000/month for.
One thing I want to know is that with my car they charge fees equal to almost the entire interest of the loan if I pay it off early, so there's no benefit to paying it off early as this extra $$ will still be paid via the terms of the contract that I signed.
So my question is. Would it be better to pay off the 1.1k debt now and put the extra $$ towards paying the car off faster? Should I save $$ and do less enjoyable things?
I live my entire life paying everything in full. The gov loan was when I were jobless a year ago and they loaned me much needed money to help me out.
I only use my car for weekends/going out as I use my motorcycle to commute to work (cheaper on fuel/faster to get to work and I really enjoy motorcycles).
Also, I am looking to complete my B.S in Business this year which would mean more student loans debt.
Any advice? | Just got into debt for the first time in my life (first loan=car loan) and it's kind of overwhelming that I can't really save $$ like I used to. Not sure what the best option is when trying to clear debt. |
t3_30jvyp | legaladvice | [Georgia/Australia] How to issue a subpoena? | I'm Australian and at the time of the issue I was residing there. I am now residing in California.
I had an account with a virtual server provider located in Georgia, USA a few years ago. The account included my name, address and various payment information.
I terminated my service with the provider around 3 months after starting it.
About 6 months after that, the provider was hacked and my information was exposed to malicious third parties. Being a tinfoil hat kind of guy I wanted to have my information expunged from the provider's system so that it couldn't happen again.
The provider had a privacy policy strictly limiting their information sharing with third parties and I asked them to remove my information based on their sharing (unwillingly but I still felt running an insecure system constituted sharing) my information with unauthorized parties, which I felt was a breach of contract due to the privacy policy.
Anyhow, the provider told me they'd be happy to remove my information if issued with a subpoena.
So how can I have a subpoena issued against them? I'm not used to the US system and have no idea how these things work.
To be clear, at the time I was living in Australia. I am now residing in California so I have far easier access to US law practitioners. The provider is still active and still in the state of Georgia. | How do subpoena? |
t3_13hl01 | relationship_advice | My boyfriend [21M] self harms, what can I do to help [21F]? | This past weekend my boyfriend (dating almost three years) and I got into a fight. He eventually told me that he had cut his leg with some gardening tool in several places. He admitted that he self harms and has been for a long time. He also told me that he has never told anyone before and this his first attempt at really dealing with the problem.
He believes he does it as a coping mechanism (anger, sadness) but its also become an addiction since he self injures just for the sake of it.
I love him so much and all I want to do is help him to deal with what he's going through and just be supportive in whatever way he needs. I have done a lot of researching and tried to inform myself of how he might be feeling and what things I should say or not say. He has already agreed to see a counsellor.
So Reddit, please give me any information that might be useful in this situation. How can I help him? What are things I should know? Am I doing the right things so far? | My boyfriend self harms, I just found out and he is just opening himself up to the idea of dealing with it. What can I do to help? |
t3_msxj3 | travel | Approx 10K US to spend, where to go what to do?! | I am 29 from NZ have never traveled but have always wanted to finally now I am debt free, single and have some savings just don't know what to do from here.
My initial plan was to go to L.A make my way up to Vancouver and live and work there for a year on a working holiday visa kind of the safer option less culture shock same language etc.
The exchange rate in South East Asia is very tempting though I could live quite well for a few months and then possibly teach, but it seems as I do not have a Degree this is probably not viable for me. | First time traveler wants an adventure work and travel overseas. |
t3_1gaj0t | relationships | My GF(17) of 1 and a half years lost her memory of me(21m) in a car accident. | My girlfriend, whom I've been in a relationship with for the past one and a half years, was in a car accident last week. She suffered a concussion that is affecting her memory. There are many things she can't remember, including some of her friends, as well as me.
It's shocking to become a stranger to someone who once shared your love. Having a year and a half of memories and happiness just disappear, as if it never happened. I suppose its just as bad for her, if not worse. The doctors have said there is a chance of her regaining her memories over time, which is the silver lining i suppose.
I guess my question to you, is what are your opinions on how I should proceed with this situation? | Girlfriend got in a car accident and can't remember who I am. How should I handle this? |
t3_17dm2h | AskReddit | Roommate hit a deer last night. Left his car to walk back to our place. What should he do to avoid big penalties? | Last night my roommate went out for a few drinks for our buddy's birthday. He had about 4 or 5 beers and left the bar after he felt sober enough. On the way home he stopped at a gas station for a pizza and cigarettes. After he left the gas station he headed down the street to our apartment and while doing so he hit a deer and went off into a ditch on the right side of the road. He was too freaked out to call the police and stay so instead he walked home and tried to calm down. After staying home over night he called the police in the morning and talked to them. After getting the info he needed from the cops he walked back to his car. His car ended up being towed. So as of right now he could get in trouble for skipping on an accident and possibly drinking and driving. What should or can he do to try to avoid big penalties that could cost him his job or license? | roommate hit deer, walked home, car towed and doesn't know what to do. Any advice? |
t3_17gpbd | Advice | Leaving a job with nothing lined up | Hey guys,
I am from Philadelphia, but moved to Baltimore a year and a half ago for a job. It was exactly what I was looking for after leaving college, but I was apprehensive about leaving home. Fast forward to now and things have not worked out; I'm doing poorly at my job (in my opinion at least - I make a lot of mistakes, I can't seem to keep up, not understanding, etc.), and I haven't made any friends here so I am homesick. On top of everything, I was so stressed over the summer that a medical condition I have started flaring severely and hasn't really calmed down. My parents are encouraging me to quit my job and come back home. They would have no problems with me moving back in, at least for a little while, and I could go on my Dad's insurance as I'm under 26. I don't have a job that I could easily transition into back home, though I have thought about temping or just taking some simple desk job (my ambition has kind of died). I know I want to go home, but I'm not sure if leaving my job next month when my lease ends and simply moving back home is the best idea. | I want to quit my job and move back home, but am not sure if it's a good idea when I don't have a job lined up. |
t3_rxzb1 | AskReddit | After 3 years of being the perfect tenants, my family of 6 is being kicked out of our apartment. | Let me explain... No there is too much, let me sum up:
Lived here for 3 years, never late on rent, never had anyone complain. AC unit starts leaking and black mold is discovered in our unit. Entire unit must be demolished. We got into the apartment under different ownership and have a 5 year contract that our rent cannot go above $725. Now complex under new management and they won't move us to a new unit because of the low rent we pay nor will they let us live in the current place because of the mold. We've already paid our rent for April and they won't refund it until we are out and then it will only be a prorated amount.
So my question is, can I take any legal action? Do I have a legal leg to stand on? | Getting fucked over by apartment complex. |
t3_3nm59h | legaladvice | My Employer is Not Paying Me What We Agreed Upon In My Job Interview | So I (17m living in Utah, USA) recently got a good job after months of job searching as a chef in a retirement home. In the job interview it was agreed that I would make $X/hr. After my first paycheck it was obvious that wasn't the case. I was being paid a Kitchen Helper wage at $Y/hr.
I talked to my boss and he said he'd bring me back up to $X/hr, then I was underpaid on my second and third paycheck as well.
I talked to him again today and he said he can't pay me $X/hr because only one person can be coded to that job code in the system.
So, I'm stuck at Kitchen Helper pay (dishwasher) but I'm doing a Chef's job. Do I have to suck it up, or is there something I can do about this? | Employer is paying me less than what was agreed upon in job interview, what can I do about it? |
t3_46ycx0 | relationships | Me [27F] introducing SO [30F] to extended family when they don't know I'm gay | Have any of you had an experience with introducing your significant other to family members when you think there is a good chance they will disapprove of them?
A few years ago, I came out as a lesbian and have dated women ever since. I am very close to my immediate family, so I told them I was gay and they were fine with it. I'm not close to my extended family, so I never told any of them. They hardly ever knew anything of my romantic life before I came out, so things haven't changed much.
I am moving in with my girlfriend Alexandra soon, so I thought I should introduce her to the family next time we meet up. The problem is, I really have no idea how they will react. I asked my dad what he thought, but he did not know what to tell me, since something like this has never happened in our family before. There are some family members who I know will be okay with it, and some I'm uncertain about, but the family member I'm really concerned about is Grandma. Grandma is very conservative (though not religious) and passive-aggresssive. She is very manipulative, and frequently hassles my dad about various made up problems so that people feel sorry for her. The upside to this is that she rarely makes a big deal about anything to the person she actually has a beef with, so there is a decent chance that she wouldn't make a scene in front of everyone. She actually spends most family dinners just eating and hardly talking to anybody. Still, I'm nervous about taking a chance and just assuming that everything will be okay. For the record, I don't really need advice on how to make my family support my relationship. I don't really care what any of them think. What I do need to prevent them from embarrassing me and offending Alexandra. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! | I need to introduce my girlfriend to my extended family, but they don't know I'm gay. |
t3_1ys1i1 | relationships | How to recover from him (20) cheating on me (f/18)? | So my boyfriend and I have been dating for three and a half years. Two weeks ago he meets this girl who is in all his classes (we all go to the same university btw) and is helping him with his class work. I knew right away she liked him by the way she talked to him and texted him. A few nights ago he tells me HE kissed her. and he has feelings for her similar to a "kindergarten crush" (meaning insignificant.)
I dont want to break up, Im willing to work on this with him because it was just a kiss and he was honest about it. To really feel better about it, I'd like two things to happen.
1. Him to stop talking to her. He wont because shes "a good friend" and its controlling of me and he needs her to tutor him. Hes known her two weeks and we have an entire academic resource center dedicated to matching students with tutors. maybe it is a little controlling, but honestly, i dont think its unreasonable.
2. I'd like to go to a few sessions of couples counseling. He straight up refuses because he already is on medication and sees a counselor (rarely..) and hes "sick of doctors." I can understand that to a degree, but c'mon.
How can we come to a compromise where we are both moderately happy and can work on rebuilding trust? How can I make him understand that I'm not trying to control him, but rather trying to better our relationship and I'm asking for respect, not control. | i have conditions id like my boyfriend to meet in order to stay with him after he cheated, which includes not talking to the girl and going to a very few couples counseling sessions but he refuses. How can we come to a compromise or better yet, how can I make him understand I'm trying to do this to make things better? |
t3_29y1p3 | relationships | I [16M] broke up with [16F] girlfriend in concern for the future. She wants to get back together. I don't know what I want. | I've broken up with my girlfriend because we were distant lately and things weren't as they were when we got together. We've matured (got together freshman year, now juniors) and parted ways somewhat. I know what I want to do in life, she doesn't, etc.
I broke up with her for the simple fact I was becoming emotionally dependent and I didn't want all this to be coming up when we graduate and go separate ways and I end up being depressed post breakup (because wow 4 years wasted)
We broke up Monday, now Saturday. She came by Friday to hand me my stuff and we talked and I told her I couldn't get back together for reasons listed above, and we ended up kissing and that's it. It took forever to get her to leave and I couldn't handle it.
Now, I'm posting this while she's texting me saying I'm obsessed with the future and I can't be happy about now. But imo I just want to be happy later down the road, rather than sacrificing all this time for nothing.
I don't know what to do. I see all these couples graduate high school and get married and such, but how do they get past the going to college boundaries and all this other stuff post high school? | Ex GF says im obsessed with future cause of breakup, she wants back together. I don't want to be depressed later. She says I need to worry about now. |
t3_1fe7c8 | relationship_advice | [23/m]Girl (24/f) I consider a good friend doesn't see anyone as a friend, I don't really know how to help her | I've known this girl for around a year now, and we've been talking almost everyday. Lately she's making me worry because she doesn't want any kind of relationships anymore. She's really fun to talk to and spend time with. Anyways, I consider her a good friend (and want more than that, probably why I care so much about her), but she just doesn't value friendships at all. She just sees the negative things in them, and nothing positive. I just don't know what to tell her, I really care and would NEVER think about hurting her (She came out of a ~6 year long relationship like a month ago) and I want her to start trusting people again because I don't want her to be alone. I just want to be there for her, but all she ever says is that she wants to sit in her room, play games and watch anime forever. I'm probably the person she's talking to the most right now, and I know she at least likes me, but doesn't want friendships/relationships because she doesn't want to get emotionally attached to anyone. I really don't know what to tell her, I don't want to just give up on her.
Does anyone know what I could do? | girl i really care about doesn't want to get emotionally attached to anyone anymore and only sees negative things in relationships |
t3_jo6wm | AskReddit | Injury on a rental property | I'm currently in the ER waiting on my girlfriend. Earlier today we were hanging on the porch, when she leaned on a banister above a four-to-five foot drop. The banister gave way and she fell, more or less face planting into the shrubbery below. She has likely broken her hand and nose, they're x-raying her now.
We've been moving into this house all week and it's the house dreams are made of for us. However a lot of it is rotting. The roof above the porch, the floors below the bathtub (meaning we can't shower there yet) and now apparently the porch itself.
Our lease starts on Sept 1st, but the landlord said we could move in now, as we have.
What can I reasonably expect the landlord to do?
Fixing the house is obvious, but in what kind of time?
If this hospital visit ends up costing a lot (she has an HMO, I don't know what that means), will we need to sue?
We love this house (and I just finished moving the whole goddamn thing) so we don't want to move out, but litigation would probably strain things.
Would the fact the injury happened before the beginning of the lease make any difference?
Also, is he liable for it? | new house, faceplant, injury |
t3_3eyxi5 | personalfinance | Refinance Ideas | My wife and I got a house in March of last year. My father in law cosigned on the 30 yr FHA loan application as my credit had some dings and my wife had limited job history. He, obviously, wants off of the loan, but we have made some bad decisions regarding credit, and need to get some debts paid down before refinancing is a reasonable thing to expect. I'll post our financials then ask the subs advice:
Household Income: $60k/yr
Credit Card Debt: $9350 ($630/mo)
Student Loan Debt: $8000 ($100/mo)
Car Loan: $17,750
Mortgage Balance: $67,000 ($660/mo)
We are currently using the Debt snowball method, and are estimating being out from under all credit card debt in 17 months. When that time comes, our goal is to refinance. My question is, am I better off trying to wait to get 10% down to get into a conventional, or should I go for the FHA again to get the refinance done quicker to get this house off of my father in law? The home appraised at $75k last year when we bought it, so I believe we now have >10% equity which would make mortgage insurance cheaper. To piggy back on that, I'm insane not to refinance into a 15 year mortgage aren't I? We plan to be in the house for probably 3-5 more years (basically we'll plan to move when/if my wife gets pregnant.)
I hope I didn't go on too many tangents. I guess my | is what type of refinance is best given my situation? Thanks in advance for any and all help. |
t3_x6c0u | relationships | Am I over thinking this? (Me, 17m; Her, 17f) | So a few weeks ago my girlfriend was talking about how at parties we can't go across the field the party is in without several people shouting "Hey buddy!" at me and said, "Everyone loves you! Not as much me though." I didn't really know how to respond to this so I just said, "Haha yeah probably." I know that probably wasn't the best way to handle it, but whatever what's done is done.
I thought about saying that I loved her a few days later, but before I had the chance her mom found out we had sex. She had a talk with her and said she thought we were going to fast, although we believed her mom overreacted, we both agreed that maybe we were going to fast and we'd slow it down. Because of that decision I decided it wouldn't be the best time to say I loved her.
Skip to a couple days ago where we were joking around with each other and she said I had a small dick (we joke around like that, I call her a slut, she says I have a small dick, shit like that) and I said she was a cold hearted bitch. She laughed and said, "Oh just admit it, you love me." I said, "Oh yeah."
I feel like I love her and I really want to tell her that I do. However, our relationship will soon become long distance (we will be able to see each other every weekend, so its not bad at all) and I'm not sure if I should tell her I love her until we've made it through a bit of the next year (after which our relationship will no longer be long distance). I know I love her, but I'm just not sure if its the right time to say it. We haven't even been dating for a month; though we have been seeing each other for two months before that and have been best friends for four years prior to our relationship. Am I just over thinking the situation and I should just tell her, or is it too early and I should wait a bit and see what happens?
Thank you very much Reddit! | Not sure if its too soon to say I love you to my girlfriend when we are about to enter a long distance relationship. Should I wait to see how our relationship changes over long distance? |
t3_1ht87g | pettyrevenge | Get your own ice | Backstory:
I work in a movie theater. It's one of my first jobs and I get along pretty well with my do coworkers. All of them except one. Lets call her Suzie. Suzie started working here a couple of weeks after me and I would say that I have learned faster than she has at how to do things. Despite this, Suzie thinks that everything that she does is perfect. She also thinks that she can boss everyone around. Yesterday, she was talking to a customer about how everyone working yesterday with her should have been fired because we all suck at our jobs and are useless. Also, she tried to tell a manager what to do, but once she noticed that he was a manager, she was the perfect angel.
The revenge:
Last night, to close the concessions stands, people are supposed to fill up the ice next to their registers. Some of my coworkers nicely asked me to get it for them since the closest ice machine wasn't working and you had to walk quite a distance to get to the other one. I was more than happy to do this! As I was about ready to go get ice, Suzie turns to me and says "Hey asshole! Thanks for asking if I wanted ice too. Get me some because mines empty." Okay whatever I'll just fill up the bucket with ice then. So I trek to the ice machine, fill up a bucket with ice and come back. I should mention that Suzie's register was at the end and mine was right next to hers. So I decided to start on the close registers. By the time I got to mine, I had just enough ice to fill it up. She was helping someone and didn't notice that I didn't fill her's up too. Fast forward to when the manager is checking all of the registers. Hers is the last and he says that she doesn't have ice. She turned and glared at me then started on the journey to get ice. Serves you right. | Made bitch get her own ice. |
t3_izyg6 | AskReddit | Why does the brain fucking work againts us? | Hey reddit. Long time lurker here and I need some advice. This may be a bit long so please stay with me.
Recently I have been hit with some pretty heavy grief over the past couple weeks involving girl troubles. It's gotten to the point where I have been losing sleep, weight and desire to get up and do things. I also have no desire to do anything sexual anymore and it takes effort to even smile. Sounds like all that typical depression crap that people post alot, huh?
Anyway, as I have been laying in bed trying to figure out unique and exciting ways to kill myself, I was wondering why is it that my thoughts are doing this to me? I want nothing more then to just go back to the way I used to be when I was all excited and happy all of the time. Yet I keep getting bashed down with intrusive thoughts. | Why does the brain insist on torturing itself and the body after a significant negative event? Wouldn't it be best to learn and forget? |
t3_317a0u | relationships | Me [25 M] waiting for the breakup from my gf of 2 years [25 F]. Found out she's in love, I am not yet. Sad and angry at self. | Throwaway as GF knows my username (though she doesn't spy)
I've already talked to friends to clear my mind, but random internet strangers helps too.
I will give sparse details because I am at work and getting deep makes me sad/don't want to tear up at my desk
Been dating my first 'real' girlfriend for almost 2 years. We are mid twenties. Over past few months she has been hinting for a while (why do you like me? Do you still like me?) and I felt like she may have been at the love point earlier, but and I am a pretty non emotional, calm, relaxed person, so I brushed it off as her being female and dissipated the situation each time.
Fast forward to last night....find out for sure she loves me.....but I do not at this moment. I suspected this for quite some time, and was confused and kind of scared I did not yet either but tried not to think too much about it.
Talk didn't go well – no anger, just sadness. I don't have the same feelings quite yet – she's understandably upset and I just confirmed her fears. I feel completely shitty, I'm horribly sad, I rarely cry but have been doing so since we hung up. I care so much about her and can't imagine not being with her but I know this is the end of the road. And it probably should be, but selfish me doesn't want it to be.
Can anybody shed some advice, or insight, or share a similar story? Just need something. | gf loves..I dont yet, probably done and need advice |
t3_4vbltb | relationships | Me [22 M] want to break up with my GF [21 F] of one year and 3 months but cant decide | My girlfriend and i have been together for one year and three months. We were in the same college before she moved to other college 500 kilometers away. From that point on, my feeling towards her slowly changing. Sometimes i get irritated at her. I dont see us together in the future.
She loves me so much and care for me. That make it hard for me to break off with her. I pity her and couldnt stand seeing her cry. She is a lonely depressed girl and i am afraid she will not take this break up easily. So reddit, what should i do? | want to break up with my girlfriend but pity her so much. what should i do? |
t3_3bshub | askwomenadvice | Would you want to know if your husband was seeing teen sex workers/Did I do the right thing? | (I'm a 21 year old woman and the man in question is 50+)
A couple years ago, I was raped by one of my clients when I was making money through various types of sex work.
I was doing that at the time because I was struggling with addiction, PTSD and was having a hard time paying rent. Basically, I was in a terrible place to make proper decisions for myself and thought this would be an easy way to solve all my problems, but wasn't prepared for how violent and traumatic it is.
I met Hector for what he said would be a "sugar daddy" date, but once I met up with him he immediately began touching me and I said wait but just shut down out of fear/trauma (since I had been raped twice before that as a young teen).
(I was alone in a seedy hotel room in the middle of nowhere with a stranger, please don't lecture me on how stupid this was because I haven't stopped thinking about how dumb I was since it happened).
He was obsessed with me being a teenager and how much I looked like his daughter who is my age, and he was incredibly degrading and rough with me (yes, more so than most clients) and so even if it hadn't been non-consensual I would have been worried about his female family members.
Last week, after thinking about doing this for so long, I contacted his wife because her email address is public as she's a state employee. I sent her some of the disgusting dick pics he sent me with the subject "hector & teen prostitutes."
I then received these texts from him:
So knowing for sure that I catalyzed his divorce, did I do the wrong thing? Would you have wanted to know? | I was raped by a john when I used to escort and recently outed him to his wife because I think he's a dangerous man and a pedophile. Was I in the wrong to do this? |
t3_t1mq3 | BreakUps | Afraid my ex might be using me for emotional support. | She (22) broke up with me (21M) about 4 months ago saying that she didn't want a relationship at the time. She assured me multiple times that she wasn't interested in anyone else or another relationship. Since the break up we've kept in contact and still hang out occasionally. I should note that a while back I adopted the policy of not initiating any of our conversations or hangouts, she starts all of it. And I don't jump at every opportunity to hang out, I've turned her down multiple times.
A few days ago, I randomly get a text from her saying that she is lonely and asking if I ever get lonely. I said yeah that I do get kinda lonely sometimes but that it wasn't too bad. I figured she probably was lonely because she moved to my city back in January and doesn't know a whole lot of people except for a few from work. She has a difficult time making true friends so I really am the only person within like 150 miles that she is close to. I had suspected that she might be keeping me around for emotional support before this but this incident really set some alarms off for me. But the weird thing is that she legitimately seems like she enjoys hanging out. Also, whenever we hang out (which mostly consists of watching TV, movies, or playing with her dog) she'll do things like put her legs across my lap and let me rub them (she knows I'm crazy about her legs so she knows I'm gonna touch them lol). Then she'll say something about how good it feels and how good I am at it. And the other day she started playfully spanking me when we were laying on her couch. So basically I'm not sure if she is just indulging me to keep me around for emotional support or if its something else.
I feel like I should also mention that she has asked me things like if I'm dating anyone else. She's also favorably compared me to guys she's worked with (I had asked her a long time ago if she had feelings for one guy) and it seemed like she was doing it to reassure me or something.
So what do you guys think? | Ex is sending mixed signals, is lonely, and I'm afraid she might be using me for emotional support. |
t3_220wpd | relationships | Me [23M] with my college FWB [21F] 4 month, picking up the pieces | Just looking to get this off my chest and get some advice. M[23] about to graduate college had a FWB situation going with this F[21] sophomore who transferred here over a year ago. Same circle of friends, known her for over a year and initiated the FWB thing 4 months ago. Exclusive FWB from the start and neither was really actively looking for a real romantic relationship outside of our arrangement. I'm graduating in 1.5 months and now is not the time to get tied down in a romantic relationship. We would go on trips together and spend a lot of time in each other's beds multiple times a week. Great sex and openness within the relationship. At no point did either of us develop romantic feelings, but the physical aspect brought us much closer emotionally than we probably would have been otherwise.
Out of the blue she gets a message randomly from a guy she was really into that previously graduated and lost touch with and they decide to have dinner. Long story short within a week we have to stop our thing and they're dating long distance, but he's completely inexperienced so she thinks things will progress very slowly.
It's been a bit over a week now and we're seeing each other a lot and comforting each other when we are upset about the whole situation; (long hugs, rubbing each other's backs, hanging out alone and discussing things). We both seem to really be struggling with this, me a bit more than her since she has someone new to project it onto in a sense. A part of me really doesn't want to lose her friendship because of how close we got and she's a really nice girl, but there's a side that wishes we still had our thing going that is hurt by her choice. It's difficult to have her around at all because it makes me hurt, but I don't want to lose what developed into a great friendship. I'm just unsure how much of that friendship may diminish now that the physical side that helped it grow is no longer present. With only 1.5 months left, will most of that time be spend "trying to get back to just friends" ? Should it?
Thoughts? Similar Experiences? Advice? | FWB broke it off after 4 months when we had gotten quite close and now unsure how friendship will or can progress. |
t3_qwt1h | AskReddit | What are some small time acts of kindness that you wish more people spoke about? | I'll start. And this is really simple, but that's kind of the point of this post. I had left my credit card in an ATM one night. I didn't realize I'd lost it until I was way gone, and it being a Friday night and having lost it on a college campus, I thought "Well, fuck. Gotta cancel the damn thing." Not 5 minutes later I get an e-mail from a guy saying "Hey, I saw your name on this credit card, looked you up in the college directory, and that's how I'm emailing you. What dorm do you live in? I'll leave it with the security guard." He was on the other side of the city, mind you, and went all the way there to return it. What a good dude. That was years ago and I still remember it and tell people all the time. It's a standard for how far small time acts of kindness go. | Left my card in ATM, guy looked me up in college directory, and traveled across the city to return it to me. |
t3_1wwujb | relationships | Should I [16/M] pursue her [16/F]? | -Update
I apologize in advanced if this isn't the right subreddit for this...
So I started going out with this girl since early December. For the first month, things were literally perfect. Then, she started acting all distant. She admitted mid last month that there's someone else. She never cheated, unless you count an emotional affair, but she told me about it. She's brutally honest. We broke up and they "dated" for 3 days before she broke up with him because she wanted to be with me. We haven't actually been together since we broke up because of timing and whatever. She said she needs to focus on being alone. Yesterday we got in a fight because she keeps saying things like she wants to be with me but never follows through. Many hurtful things were said, mostly by her. A few hours later when she calmed down, she said she thinks she wants to be friends. I'm too argumentative, according to her, but mostly because I ask a lot of questions that she blows out of proportion, which is the reason she only wants friendship.
Anyways, I'm pretty sure I can get her back. The problem is that I'd have to almost beg. Not like "please please please" but mostly like I have to promise to not start arguments and things like that.
I really like the girl, she's my first relationship. But I want to know hat you guys think, she said some really hurtful things yesterday, but she says she was mad and didn't mean it. She fell in love with another guy, but she told me about it. I'm confident if we try again, we can get back to what we were. I know I'm young though and I could probably have relationships as good or even better than the one I had.
I want to know your guys opinions. | She's hurt me before. I think we could work though. Should I pursue? |
t3_27yb8f | relationships | Love triangle between me [18F], ex bf [25M] and his ex [22F]. | Okay. This is messy. This is terribly messy, and I apologise, but I'm confused as fuck and totally weirded out.
I'm sleeping with my ex boyfriend. Our relationship is based on sex and drugs. I have sex with him and he supplies the drugs. He brought up having a threesome with a girl that he dated after we broke up, and I was like, okay, cool, let's do it.
So we have the threesome (only once, because they had a giant fight **about me** after that and fell out) and me and the girl ended up paying more attention to each other than him. He got mad, which is understandable. It was a threesome after all. However, I found myself talking to the girl more and more. We began developing a relationship that was best-friendy but also very intimate. We are hooking up, but she wants to be more than friends with me. All while I'm still seeing the ex. I do have feelings for my ex, but I also have *some* feelings for his ex girlfriend, but I'm not sure of them because I consider myself straight.
If I get with her my ex will be pissed, and he will stop supplying me the drugs. He's the only supplier around here and that's going to be a problem. I also can't lose him as a companion, because he was/is a huge part of my life.
I feel like our relationship dynamics are at a very strange place right now. We dated the same guy. Isn't it going to be weird if we date each other? On the other hand, I don't mind being in a polyamorous relationship with both of them, but I doubt my ex will have that. He's possessive over us, and me and her developing romance won't sit well with him. She also doesn't want anything to do with him so now I'm stuck. | Love triangle between my ex boyfriend, me, and another ex girlfriend of his. She's falling in love with me but I like him more than I like her. She wants me to stop seeing him. If I see her exclusively I will lose him, but I do like her a little. I want a poly relationship but neither of them will have it. He thinks she is a terrible person and is against me being with her. |
t3_31wlzl | relationships | I [37 M] was just told by my wife [39 F] of 12 years, that I need to do more thoughtful things for her. | My wife and I have always gotten along. We haven't had any traumatic events in our relationship that have driven us apart. No cheating, no abusive behavior etc... I play an active role in our childrens' lives, and I pull my weight in division of household chores. But a few days back she informed me that I don't do enough of the 'Little Things' that help keep the spark alive. "And I need that."
Our sex life is good, but she has had a low libido for the past two years or so. Part of that is we have had a hectic schedule (both of us getting our masters degrees), but I wonder if that's 100% of it.
She didn't say it in an accusatory way, and I don't feel defensive. But I've honestly been trying to think of little things I can do for her. So I thought I'd come here and ask. What are some of the things your significant other has done for you to make you feel loved, and special? What have you done for your significant other that hit its target.
This is a serious inquiry. I'm sincerely wanting to make a real effort in this direction. | I want ideas on little things I can do on a frequent basis to make my wife feel special. |
t3_f2s3o | AskReddit | Rats, why did it have to be rats? | I am a changed man.
This morning I was eating breakfast in the kitchen. Coco Pops with slices of banana for that extra bit of energy. Good stuff. I love that time of the weekend when I can sit there and slowly eat and watch things on my laptop. Pure bliss. Then they came out of nowhere and I was totally unprepared.
To be honest, no one could have been prepared for this. Been to boot camp? Doesn't matter. Seen someone die? Doesn't matter. From the corner of my eye, I saw a huge motherfucking rat sprint out from under the oven into the adjacent bathroom and into hole in the shower where the pipes go in and out. I spilt my cereal. I saw my life flash before my eyes. I saw my mother and I saw my unborn children. I didn't know what to feel. I started shivering, convulsing, violently crying. My manhood fell from me like a tattered cape, never to be wrapped around me again.
It looked awful. Like a hairy turd. **A clumsy hairy turd.** It was sprinting so fast it lost traction with the ground and slid around the corner to the bathroom. Then the unspeakable happened. It was followed BY ANOTHER RAT. OH GOD! [my reaction](
What where they doing? Eating MY food? Pissing into MY cupboard? Having disgusting rat sex amidst my boxes of lasagne plates? Fuck you rats! I know you can hear me. FUCK YOU!
So now what do I do? I am a changed man and I know that I will never be the same person again. While I can't ask you to restore my sanity, I can ask you how to make sure this never happens again. | We've got rats in the house, what the fuck do I do to get rid of them? God damn motherfucking rats. |
t3_1e3cke | relationships | Very stressed girlfriend [20f] just got a speeding ticket. How can I comfort her when she gets home tonight? [20m] | Long story short, she has been working two jobs and an internship, basically having school and work from 7-5 and then having to do school work the rest of the night every day. We've been together almost 2 1/2 years, but I've never gotten a speeding ticket. She is very strapped for money, and I will definitely pay for it if she wants, and I might even insist. She also has to go to traffic school so that her insurance doesn't go up, and it will be extremely difficult for her to find time to do that, even on the weekends.
Any ideas on how to comfort her and let her know it's okay? I've been struggling and getting frustrated at both her and myself because I never know what to say or do when she's having trouble. Last weekend she visited me at my university (we go to different universities and visit each other every weekend) and forgot a book for her midterm and extra underwear, and I swear she almost started throwing up from how hard she was crying and it took an hour before she calmed down. I have no idea how to comfort her. | gf (20f) got a speeding ticket, how do I (20m) comfort her? |
t3_1hogqc | offmychest | I'm running out of things to care about. | I do what I can to keep myself motivated, yet at every turn I find something that stops me. I'm tired of caring about things, all I end up doing is being stupid and causing myself and other people to get hurt. My parents are recently divorced, and I'm unfortunately with the one I don't particularly care for. I don't care for much in my life anymore, I tend to stay in my room alone without talking to my family much, and I'm frequently finding myself wanting to escape from my own life without hurting anyone.
If I could just die off without anyone knowing or remembering me, I feel as though that would be better than what's going on with me now at times. I've done poorly through school my entire career, and all I've got to show for my high school life is a girlfriend of almost 3 years that I frequently do wrong by. I feel like such a mess, and I slowly feel myself emptying into a hollow shell of a young man. I don't know what I want to do with my life and most of the motivation I have becomes summed up in posts like this every once in awhile. I must sound like a pretentious dick, and I guess I am, more often than I'm not. My life is sliding by, just waiting to get to a part that isn't as meaningless as the current life I seem to be living.
I don't really think there's any advice for me, but if you feel as though you can offer some, feel free. | I feel like I'm drifting out of having emotions, I wish I could just disappear without hurting anyone, and I doubt there's any sound advice for me, but go for it if you feel you can help. |
t3_1fd7l3 | relationships | My girlfriend (26/f) wants to break up with me (29/m) due to increased cancer risk. | While we were talking last night, the fact that my mother had a hysterectomy, about a decade ago, due to a possible tumor, came up in conversation. My girlfriend came over this morning and wanted to end the relationship because I apparently had an increase risk in cancer due to my mother getting cancer. She is a clinical pharmacist and is sensitive to the issue because of what she has seen in the hospital (patients, sometimes children, succumbing to cancer). She had been complaining for me to exercise more and eat healthier. I am 5'6, 135 lbs so I am not overweight, but my diet is pretty crappy.
She kept saying to me that she wanted to be with me, but couldn't bear the though of losing me and then having to live decades without me. She completely broke down, complete with the works: tears and snot bubbles, etc. Bear in mind that I don't have currently have cancer and marriage has not been discussed. We have been together for 6 months. The only indication that this relationship might go long term is that her and I both are happy in the relationship and don't see any reason that it should end.
I asked her if she was serious about ending the relationship and in the end she decided not to. However, now I am worried that some other thing might set her off. I think she is overreacting due to her occupation, but it was a very selfish thing to do (at least to me).
I want to reach out to this community to see how I should proceed. I promised her that I would exercise more and try to eat healthy. Should I just let it go or do you think this is a foreshadowing of maybe more break downs in the future.
Thanks guys. | Girlfriend is worried that I may have increased chance in cancer, wants to break up but decides not to in the end. Problems? |
t3_2qi98x | relationships | Me [19 M] with my GF [20F] been together 3 months known her for 4 years, told me she has been sad for 10 years and says it wont get better. What can i do? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 months, and today she just told me she hasn't been happy for the last 10 years and that it's all pointless. I knew she had depression before hand but i had no idea that it was this bad. Our relationship up until this point has been great and i saw no signs of this maybe partly because we live 2 and a half hours apart.
I am at a loss for words as to what i should do, part of me hurts realizing i never made her happy. But an even bigger part of me wants to make her happy again but i have no idea how i am supposed to do that. I just don't know what i should do, I'm not going to give up on her i can't do that i love her too much but this is also such a daunting task how do i make someone happy who has been sad for the past 10 years? | My Girfriend i have been dating for 3 months has not been happy for 10 years and i dont know what to do. |
t3_3c5efk | relationship_advice | Guidance for Salvaging Long Distance (I'm 26/M, she's 25/F) | Hello! My now-ex and I were together for four very enjoyable months. Even after the bubble stage where everything's the best, we were a great pair and our time together was the happiest romantic entanglement either of us has ever had. Things just worked, and if that wasn't nice I don't know what is.
We're both students, she graduated in the spring and I'll be done this winter. After graduating, she went back home to LA and I've got one more semester in the Bay Area before finishing up. I've been in DC for the summer for a research job I need to graduate, and things went downhill a bit. We're still pretty into each other, but (looking back) things just hadn't been working as well during our summer apart. That usual long distance drifting at work rather than anything dramatic.
Continuing to really savor all the great things in our relationship, telling the same stupid inside jokes, and still being very attracted to each other makes it difficult to shut each other out entirely and move on. Neither one of us is eager to start dating anyone else, though. We're both probably going to be on the west coast together (although maybe not in the same city) in September, and I'll be fully mobile once I finish up in five or six months. She wants to take the summer to figure out her professional future, what she ultimately wants, and to put to rest some unpleasant things that happened in her past. I want to give her space to do that, but ultimately I want to be with her down the line and see where this wild ride goes.
Usually my breakups are a lot more clear cut, so I've never had to navigate this sort of ambiguity before. With an eye towards getting back together, any suggestions for how to carry myself this summer and into the fall while we're not in the same city? Stuff like how much contact I should be keeping with her, what may help keep that great spark we had (have?) alive, and how I can avoid being inadvertently clingy. | we're at a stressful crossroad in our lives, distance hasn't been working, and once the dust settles I want to get back together. How would you recommend pursuing things in the meantime, and then in a few months when we're back on the same coast? |
t3_4grkvr | legaladvice | Suing in Small Claims but debtor has nothing (California) | So my BF and I are suing our ex-roommate for $1000 (rent/bills/etc) and although we are confident in winning the judgement since he signed a notarized contract, we are NOT confident in actually getting the money. He has been telling us he has a job but is very vague about it, so for all we know he might not have one. He is also living elsewhere and is fairly hard to track. He is not being cooperative at all, so I can't imagine him voluntarily listing his assets to the court or giving us any information. A friend of the roommate has also informed us that he has closed at least one of his bank accounts. That friend also told us if he is still listed as dependent his parents would be legally responsible for the debt, but I'm not sure how valid that is either. The only property he has is a car worth $750 and some other personal possessions (TV, | how do we forcibly take his money after judgement, is it worth it-- specifically in regards to taking his car, and what different forms do we need to file to demand repossession of his car/items, to suspend his license, to call for a warrant, and also how to legally add the court costs to his existing debt. Sorry if it's confusing! in California |
t3_3lxkqs | relationships | Me [26/M] just started seeing [21/F] a week or so ago. Not sure how into me she is | As the title suggests I just started seeing this girl recently and Im having a difficult time gauging her interest since I got out of a relationship about 2 months ago and shes completely different then the girls I am used to.
We started txting for 2-3 weeks then it gradually went up to her coming to my house after one night I convinced her to come over at 9pm. At this time I had been talking to her for about 1 month, and she has been coming over semi-frequently since (and I live 45 mins from her)
Where im having issues is that Im getting the feeling she likes me, Im just not sure how much or if she is testing me in some way. We have made out, kissed, cuddled, and she has stayed the night on multiple occasions.
But no sexy times have ensued. I tried to push it a bit a cpl of times but got no where so I stopped pushing it since I like this girl so far and dont want her to think thats all im thinking about.
Shes coming over again tonight to spend the night and make dinner and to be blunt my balls are ready to explode. I want to continue to push it but I dont want to scare her off so i've been patiently waiting until she is ready or just jumps all over me.
So my question is. Am I completely oblivious? She lays on me on the couch, touches me frequently, runs her hand through my hair, rubs my back and neck, all without input from me. | Am I missing a sign here or should I continue to be patient? |
t3_fk3q2 | AskReddit | Fired for suspected of purchasing drugs? | Alright so I'll start off by saying that this is a minimum wage job (in Canada for reference) but important enough for someone in debt with bills to pay.
So one of my coworkers has ecstasy, weed, ... Possibly harder stuff but nobody that I work with has gotten anything worse than e. Then on this past Tuesday, my work allegedly has a video of him selling to my girlfriend at work on security cams which never happened. She has bought a few things from him but never at work or around it in general and not in a while. Thursday they fired the coworker and yesterday my girlfriend.
They said they can't show the video because there are minors in it or in case my coworker wants to go to court and their reason for termination had something to do with there being minors employed and they don't want any parental involvement in the case. When they fired her they said"we're not taking any chances".
Anyways im not entirely sure what im looking for here. I guess im wondering if they had valid reason to let her go and if not, what she could do about it. | fired for suspected of buying drugs at work "on camera" (didn't happen). What do? |
t3_554q14 | tifu | TIFU by stranding my team at the end of a long, successful project. | This just happened a few minutes ago.
So my team traveled 4 hours away to Pennsylvania from home to provide 24/7 support for a big software upgrade. Things went so well that we finished up a day early and got ready to head back.
Rental car is packed up and I press the close button on the trunk door. Reach into my pocket and pull out my personal car keys, not the rental. The "oh fuck" moment sets in that I just locked the keys in the trunk.
Call the rental company to get a hold of OnStar to unlock the car. Just so happens they never set up OnStar in this car. So we have to wait for AAA to show up.
AAA shows up. They begin working their magic. Just so happens they have no magic. They leave us I the hotel parking lot with a very locked car. Tell us someone else should be coming soon to try and open it.
Still waiting on the next person to come and attempt to unlock our car. | Locked my whole team out of the rental car after they put all of their personal belongings in it. OnStar isn't active in this car and AAA can't unlock it. |
t3_44oghf | Parenting | Kindergartner hides when she is hurt | My 5.5 y/o girl hides when she is hurt, physically or emotionally. We don't berate her for crying or make fun of her. I'm more worried about school than home - I can tell when she's upset at home, but at school and with friends she refuses to tell them that she is uncomfortable with the game/play. She thinks she'll hurt their feelings.
How do you get your kid to stand up for themselves?
She lets kids pull her around, wrestle, take toys from her, and she never says a thing. Sometimes she puts on an uncomfortable smile. When they're done with her, she runs off, hides and cries. She's not really being bullied, she just doesn't let the other kids know that she would rather not have them ride on her back like she's a horse. Or be the rope in a game of tug-of-war. Or for them to grab her hairband and break it.
I jump in when I see it getting out of hand, but I'm not there for the school day, and even when other parents suggest to their kids that they are getting out of hand, she refuses to say she is uncomfortable. Or she whispers it to me. I'd rather she learned how to deal with it herself.
And she's started to hide from me and my husband when she is hurt.
This afternoon I heard a big thump and then silence, so I went to investigate and found her hiding in our bedroom, curled into a ball. She'd fallen and hit her arm on the corner of a drawer in her room. She wouldn't say anything, but pointed at her arm. I hugged her and told her it was ok to cry if she needs to, that I would like to see where she was hurt, and she had a big gash on her forearm surrounded by a deep bruise. Only then did she start to cry, muffling it in my shoulder.
She never used to hide her cries, certainly never from me. I think it might be an influence at school, but I don't know what to do. She's always been full of empathy and respect for others, but she's taking it a bit too far and not taking care of herself. | Kid won't speak up for herself, goes and hides to cry. Help? |
t3_gmtbe | GetMotivated | A Story and a Thank you | Wolves,
2 months ago I submitted a story about being rejected by a girl. It sucked. Rather then talk about it, I let it simmer inside me. Then Getmotivated was there to help me get back on the track I was heading and wanted to take. You lit a fire in me and I cannot thank you enough. I was done trying to please other people and when all else fails, we cannot doubt ourselves but instead trust and believe in our abilities.
I'm not going to lie and say I'm crushing it with girls. I'm not. In fact, I just had a date with a girl I had been hanging out with for the past couple of weeks and things didn't go well at all. But I'm not moping around like a bitch this time. And that's the difference.
In the time since that post, I focused on my work, the gym, and just having a good time. Recently, I was actually offered an Assistantship in a Master's program at my Uni. to continue my research on an application I helped develop. I didn't even apply for it, they just said they wanted me to stay. So if you were one of the other 100 kids who did, sorry. Yesterday, I was working and ended up helping this super hyper guy who turned out to be a CFO of a very popular, well-respected company around here. Next thing I know is he wants to chat and grab coffee, which I plan to take him up on. | We really can do what we put our minds too, things may not work out the way we want at the time, but in the long run if you take care of the little things, the big things just come together. So thanks for pushing me wolves, I'm glad I jumped. |
t3_zms75 | AskReddit | I need advice, or I might have the cops called on me. | This all began when my friend had a TV sitting around his house, and said I could have it because it was nice than the one I had.
Now over a year has passed and his mother has messaged me on Facebook requesting it back because apparently it was not his to give, because she was holding it/borrowing it from her deceased cousins husband. She also told me she noticed it was missing right away, and told my friend but never once mentioned anything to me, and I had been to their house multiple times and she is a friend on facebook.
Now she offered me a smaller older tv in replacement for this, and I told her this wasn't fair compensation and asked for $75. Instead of messaging me back she just stopped at my house with her husband and informed my father that if I do not hand over the TV they will be calling the cops on me.
So my question is can they do this? Will the cops be on her side? | I've had a TV for over a year now that my friend gave me, and now his mom is requesting it back because ''It wasn't his to give" and will call the cops if I don't hand it over and all I asked for was fair compensation. |
t3_16kx3h | dogs | Morphometry of skin changes in Newfoundland dogs following coat clipping | The Veterinary Journal | [
Abstract
>Dog breeds are unique in their coat conformation and quality. Newfoundland dogs have a long and fine hair coat, and clipping may induce changes in newly grown hair. This study examined structural changes in the skin of Newfoundland dogs following clipping. Dogs included in the study had visible coat changes following clipping that appeared as loss of gloss, increased scaling and textural changes. The control groups consisted of two groups of dogs that had never been clipped: Newfoundland dogs served as within-breed controls, and long-haired dogs of other breeds served as between-breed controls. All dogs were healthy with no history of dermatological problems. Two skin biopsies were taken from each dog and evaluated for predetermined parameters.
>A total of 41 samples were examined: 11 from clipped Newfoundland dogs, 16 from unclipped ones, and 14 from dogs of other breeds. By histopathology, the clipped dogs had a thicker cornified layer (P = 0.006) and smaller sebocytes (P = 0.022) than the unclipped ones. Newfoundlands had larger and more epitrichial sweat glands than other breeds (P = 0.0002, P = 0.036, respectively), and those were not affected by clipping. These results suggest that hyperkeratosis and decreased sebocyte size may explain the observed coat changes following clipping in Newfoundland dogs.
[Full text.]( | Repeated clippings of Newfoundland dogs cause hyperkeratosis(thickening of skin), reduced skin and coat gloss and increased scaliness. |
t3_3b6939 | loseit | My butt is disappearing! I want it back! | I'm now down to the last 11 lbs, and am, of course, delighted by this. However. This does mean that I'm now losing from all over - the areas that don't really need any weight or fat lost off them.
I've always liked my legs and bum. All the weight that I gain (gain*ed*) went to my stomach and arms. My bum and legs always stayed toned and petite and I just always liked them. My theory is I did a lot of walking through fields - so up and down hills too - since I was a very young teen, so those muscles built up over the years and stuck around, regardless of my lifestyle at that point in time.
Problem is - my bum and legs are now getting noticeably smaller. I'm not doing that sort of exercise right now, and I want them back!
I have NO spare money right now for gym or exercise equipment, and I live in a city at the moment where there are no opportunities for long walks, or rambles through the countryside to keep my bum firm. I still walk at least an hour a day, but on flat pavement I just don't think it has the same impact.
So, question: Squats, or any other similar exercise - will they work without gym/weight access? I can't afford exercise gear for home nor a gym membership. I know that lifting and such would be great for me where I'm at right now, but I just can't afford the resources. What are my options? | Had good bum and legs due to natural exercise. That's no longer feasible and, with weight loss, they're shrinking. I can't afford gym/weights for hardcore squats and stuff. Will non-weight 'normal' versions work? |
t3_1wxm04 | relationships | How should I (19M) handle my crazy (ex)girlfriend (19f)? | So I(19M) broke up with my girlfriend(19F) of 5 months because she cheated on me. She was apologizing up and down profusely. She wanted to stay together. I told her no. Then she said she wanted to stay friends (she's a loner, I'm pretty much her only friend). I said no initially but she kept pushing and just to get her off my back, I said we could still be friends, but I would need some time and some space.
You can probably guess where this is heading; she didn't give me any space, or any time. She would show up, and treat me like we were still dating. She would pull stunts like joining my at lunch and then hold onto my tray, forcibly, so that I couldn't leave. She showed up in my room one day, and refused to leave when I asked her too. Then when I tried to pick her up to remove her from the room she yelled "Rape!". And so I put her down. She said she would accuse me of rape if I touched her again. She ended up not leaving my room for 2 whole days. She left me no choice but to be an asshole to get her out of my life, so then she threatened to fuck my friends, and kill herself. Then she tried to kill herself, then she got drunk with this unsavory guy, I still don't know if they fucked.
She's clearly unstable, and I don't really want her in my life anymore, but I don't want her to hurt herself either. I've asked her to go to counselling with me, but she basically hates me at this point. I'm concerned she's a threat to her own safety, and the safety of those around her, but I have no idea what I can do. | Ex girlfriend went insane after the breakup, I'm concerned she's a danger to herself and people around her. What can I do? |
t3_tb4lr | AskReddit | Advice from people who recently built a house? | Hello, my wife and I recently put money down on a lot and we're currently in the process of picking out what we want our house to look like. We haven't started any "official" process of coming up with a plan yet so we pretty much have a blank slate to work with right now, although the house does have to be a two-story design.
If you've recently built a house, do you have any advice you can share? What sorts of things should I be thinking about? Is there anything that you did that you wish you didn't? Or anything that you didn't do that you wish you did?
I'm a technical person so I'm already thinking of dual CAT6 cabling to each room and home automation things. I'm also a fan of energy conservation so I'm also considering solar and/or geothermal heating. Can anyone comment on if these are worth the extra expense - or am I better off getting a super-efficient conventional furnace? I'm in the upper midwest, if that helps. | learn me about building a house! |
t3_2ypqqm | relationships | I (M16) like the girl (F17) and she shows interest but went through a recent hard breakup. | So this girl and I have been hanging out a lot recently.
Almost every weekend we would get together and we are constantly texting each other.
Not to long ago I decided to tell her how I feel about her and what she is looking for.
She said that she sometimes feels into me too, but just isn't ready for another relationship yet because she is still recovering from a hard breakup.
She isn't sure how long it will take to be ready for another relationship and said I don't have to wait for her.
I really like this girl, but what do? Is there anyway I can help her? | I like this girl who just went through a breakup and isn't ready for another relationship. |
t3_2ehwd4 | personalfinance | I'm tired of saving | We've been saving 25-30% of gross for the last couple of years, and it was fairly easy while our kids were really little - we didn't do anything. Now they're getting older (both still under 5), and I want to do stuff. I'm tire of saying no we can't afford it, when in all reality we're socking away $2500/ month. That's a lot of fun we could be having. That's a cabin, or a vacation every couple of months. I feel like we keep saying down the road we'll do this or that, but one day we're gonna wake up and we'll have a butt load of cash, but that's all. | I'm gonna dramatically reduce savings to have fun now. |
t3_1t6qqp | relationships | Should I [21F] send me ex[21M] a Christmas gift I made in may even though we no longer talk? | My ex and I were together about a year. It was rough and abusive. (emotionally) We broke up in March, didn't talk for all of April. Then we started talking again in May. We were friends for a while and I start making him a present for Christmas. Hes happy to know im making him something and all is well for a little while. Then, He tried to get back together I say no and finally give in for an amazing 3 day long relationship. (sarcasm) That guy is so fucked up if I tried to describe half the shit hes pulled it would take a week. Que lots of arguing where he finally blocks me and now ignores me. (I'm currently unblocked he just never replies)
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Somehow I still have feelings for the guy, and I have tons of dreams of being with him. Other times I'm just sad because hes an asshole even in my dreams. Its made me regret not sending him the gift I made. Its past the time it would make it to him by Christmas. | Should I send my ex a gift I made for him in may because I miss him? |
t3_2x0z47 | relationships | My (20f) brother (18m) decided to buy paint and paint my parents' (60m/58f) kitchen without asking. It looks like a crack den and he has made the kitchen and only bathroom inaccessible. | He is painting it black and gray, from yellow, which my mom picked out 30 years ago. I'm not contesting that it needed paint long ago, but he is making it awful. He didn't bother to tape the ceiling, which he doesn't plan to paint, the trim is hideous with both black and gray on it because he taped it poorly and it just looks awful. He painted cabinets multiple colors and poorly at that without asking first. He has stuff all over and is taking a very long time to finish. Each night, and whenever he isn't painting, he puts his painting supplies in the bathtub so no one can bathe. You have to go through the kitchen to turn the heat on, and we live in the north east. My mom has a ton of medical problems and needs to have access to food, heat, and the bathroom. She doesn't want to say anything because she is grateful he is trying to help, but he is really causing problems. | my brother is trying to help but is making a bigger problem. |
t3_2skk0o | relationships | My [22 F] boyfriend [22 M] of four months lost "the spark" and now views me as just a friend. what can i do? | My boyfriend and I were in love up until about a week ago. Last night he said he needs a break from me, and after further conversations today, he has admitted that he slowly lost those feelings for me and lost the "spark." He says that he is no longer in love with me and views me as just a friend, and says that he needs time to himself to figure things out without being in a relationship with me. He doesn't think it's fair to me to continue a relationship that is one sided, as he has lost feelings at this point. However, he has agreed that he would be open to restarting the relationship if the spark or the feelings returned.
We have plans to hang out "as friends" next Friday, and he says he wants to keep talking as friends to see if the spark returns. Is there anything I can do to get this spark back? Does this seem like a lost cause at this point or is it worth one more shot of hanging out to see if anything returns? | boyfriend went from in love with me to viewing me as just a friend. we have plans to hang out "as friends" next week to see if the spark returns. is this salvageable? |
t3_33onep | relationships | Friend [F25] just got engaged to her boyfriend of one year [M26] and has been totally distancing herself from me [F26], is it because I know so much about her and her past? | Ok reddit. Late night thoughts. I've wondered about this for a while now and would like to hear people's opinions/advice on this.
I have been friends with this girl for over 6 years. We've been close.I've been there for her during her heartbreaks, heck I even travelled with her. She even stayed with my family, grandparents, and cousins, for few weeks. She considered me one of her best friends as I did as well.
She began dating a really nice guy last spring. She went out of town in the summer to study for a bit away from her bf (they were exclusive) and fell for a guy in the new town. She went on a date with the new guy and some stuff happened between them. She asked me for advice about what she should do and I told her she should tell her bf. But out of fear of losing her bf whom she really loved, she came back and tried to forget about the new guy. After that is when things got weird. I saw her a month after she came back and asked her privately if she still keeps in touch with the new guy and she got really defensive and said to never mention him again as she was trying to forget him. I said ok and never brought him up. I saw her 6 months ago and since then, I've lost someone close to me and she knew but did not even reach out. I tried to make plans to meet but she did not make much effort. She got engaged and did not even tell me which is weird since she always used to talk about me being at her wedding and planning her bachelorette. I found out she's engaged by chance and not from her. She still keeps in touch with few friends from before but her and I dont speak. I'm curious as to why she's become so distanced with me? Is it because I have "dirt" on her and seeing me is a reminder of her mess up? Is it just me or the way she's acting is a bit weird? Thoughts? | A very close friend got into a relationship, cheated on her bf and asked me for advice. She never told her bf, got engaged, and is slowly cutting me off but I don't know why and wonder if it is because of what I know and if she's scared? |
t3_2kfmfl | relationships | How do I [23F], newly single, talk to men who I don't already know? | I got out of a 2 year relationship a little over 3 months ago, and he was the only guy I've ever been in a relationship with. We were friends for a while before dating, so it was easy to transition. The only other guy I've gone out with was only for 3 dates, and we had also been friends first.
I am interested in meeting someone else, but really don't know how to talk to guys who I'm not already friends with. I'll see someone at a bar who is with friends, or just walking by that I'll think is attractive, but I don't know how to start a conversation with a guy that I don't already know. I never really had to before. And I'm a very sociable person, I'm perfectly capable of carrying a conversation with someone, so it's not an issue of being shy, I just don't know how or if I should approach guys. What should I do? | Never had to talk to guys before because the only one I dated was a friend first. How do I talk to guys I am interested in that I don't already know? |
t3_4uct2p | relationships | Me [21M] and my partner [20F] and threesomes, exploring sexual options and need threesome advice | Hi everyone, my partner and I are two students at university, we have been together almost two years and have a very trustworthy, stable relationship and love each other a lot.
I was her first, I had one girlfriend before her, after being together this long we've decided to explore different sexual options, one being a potential threesome.
Now I'm going to be honest and say I instantly dismissed any chance of having a MMF threesome, I wasn't rude about it or anything, I just said no.
The simple reason is I don't want another guy fucking my girlfriend, I have no attraction towards men either so It would be purely for her sake, although she says she would enjoy the experience and the actual gender of the person is unimportant.
She is fine with this, note she is Bi Sexual.
Also note that if she didn't want to have a MFF threesome because I'm unwilling to have a MMF threesome, I am ok with this, neither of us have an overwhelming desire to go for it, it's just to try it out.
So we started to discuss a MFF threesome, she wants it to be with a girl thats bi so one of us doesn't get ignored, which is her main concern. Have you got any advice when searching for a person and setting boundaries?
Neither of us have had a threesome before, so also any advice on that would be appreciated.
Also, In my head I've been reasonable and calm about this, do you think I've handled this in the correct way? I've been open and honest and trying to move forward in a cautious but practical way. | Boyfriend unwilling to have a MMF threesome, but open to MFF, advice needed on preparation. |
t3_3b7nz1 | relationships | Me [21 M] still goofing around, unsure of relationships. Never asked anyone out, waited in the past. How to gain experience? | Short story.
I'm looking for some general advice here. I've flirted before, I've befriended people, but I've never properly asked anyone out. Being 21, I feel I'm still coming out of the 'high school' feeling that dating and relationships had at the time.
I am learning still though, to recap a bit, I've been more open minded, found more female friends, been through a rough personal period in the past year or so, and in that time have been practicing Mindfulness to align with my values and improve on myself.
So I'm in a state of wanting to better myself after coming out of a rough personal part of my life, all while feeling interested in dating.
There was a recent series of coffees, hanging out with one gal in particular, which has since petered out into friendship. Or rather, my perception has readjusted to the reality of the situation.
What I'd like to know is some thoughts on what to do after this, how have you picked yourselves up, what are some good methods?
I've taken from this that I *can* do the initial things one would do when dating, and that its not all impossible, but the tough thing that still gets me is moving past asking someone out and taking it from there.
Honestly, I'm pretty clueless about everything after that. Doesn't make it any easier around friends who mostly are in relationships and are experienced. | Not experienced enough, learnt from a small experience, not sure what to do next. |
t3_ltru7 | AskReddit | Question for guys who got married young | Hey guys,
Just wanted to throw something out to you guys. So I'm 25 and my wife is 29 going on 30. We got married in May and we get along great, but I cant help but feel like I have lost some years of life by getting married so early. For my whole adult life (18+) I have been single for less than a year. Needless to say I did some partying, but feel like I have a little more in me. My wife isn't a party animal. We go out occasionaly, but we spend most time at home. I told her that I was OK with not going out much since she had gotten her partying out of the way and I felt like I had. But now I feel like I rushed into marriage and have these lingering desires to party some. Anyway, I just wanted to lay it out and ask the guys who got married early if any of you had feelings like mine and moving forward how you dealt with it. Possible advice? To clarify, I am not interested in divorce. I love my wife and want to make this marriage work, but feel like these feelings are getting in the way of my happiness. THanks! | Got married at 25. Only been single for less than a year while being adult. Have lingering desire to party but my wife (29 yo) isn't a party animal. Wondering if anyone who has been in my shoes moved on and has some advice. |
t3_1xh5s2 | dating_advice | [21f] guy I'm interested in has suddenly stopped talking to me | I'm not sure if this is the correct place to ask this, because we're not actually dating.
I've been interested in this guy for a while now (like, nearly a year...wow) We have a shit load in common and we used to text each other pretty much every day. I've always assumed he's not interested in me, because he's pretty outgoing and I'm kinda socially retarded and not particularly attractive. This is, until a friend of his told me he's completely clueless when it comes to women, and that he probably has no idea that I like him, even though it's blatantly obvious. And then she told me people have been asking her when me and him are going to hook up (which I thought was strange, because we have completely separate groups of friends, and I've only met his friends a handful of times.)
The problem now is, we've barley spoken in the past three weeks, other than I saw him on a night out a little over a week ago (I was wasted and have little memory of that night, but I do remember talking to him a lot). I've texted him a few times, but the conversations don't last more than a few messages. It feels kinda awkward and I have no idea what happened.
What could've made him suddenly stop talking like that? Did he find out I like him, and is trying to back away so he doesn't lead me on? Am I just being a total fucking idiot? | interested in guy I used to text everyday. not spoken much in three weeks. no idea what happened. |
t3_2tzujt | relationships | Do you think he [M21] and I [F20] will be able to make it work in the future? | Hey, how's it going?
I'm stuck in a pretty messed up situation. I started seeing my coworker a few weeks ago. We both admitted to having getting out of messy relationships. We ended up hanging out more often, and never really had a "label" - I was happy with the way things were going.
He did mention that he had trouble opening up to people so I let him be - if he wanted to tell me something he would do it and I wouldn't pressure him.
Well, lately he had a lot happening in his life (death, working a lot, second job) but I found out he was going through a divorce, too. He said he got married at 18, he's not with her.
I tried limiting the amount of times ill text him, and would barely hear from him.
Finally, yesterday I asked him to tell me if he still wanted me in his life or if he's too busy, I just wanted to know. He said it depends what I want us to be (move in together?) and that he's messed up with relationships now. I said no (im not crazy), I just want to know if I should back off until he's figured everything out.
Finally he said "as for right now I don't think there's much I can offer you babe :(" and I was relieved, in a way. I thanked him for being honest, wished him luck and said maybe sometime in the future? He said of course.
Anyway, question is, do you think I fucked up by being too needy? Should i not have brought it up at all? I like this guy and we clicked pretty well, i just don't know what to do right now. | guy i was seeing has too much on his plate tight now, sounds like a temporary break, could it work out in the end? |
t3_lnj47 | AskReddit | What was the last nice(or mean) thing you've done to a random stranger? | I'll start:
Went over to my school's computer lab to print some paperwork. Upon inserting my flash drive into the computer, I noticed that either someone else left their flash drive there, or the computer was in the mood to procreate and was coming on to me. I was initially going to leave it there for someone else to handle, but I decided if I left mine somewhere, I'd want someone to at least try to return it to me. I took a peek into its files and found its owner's email address, emailed him and got it back to him today. I feel good, he probably feels good, but the computer is probably pissed that I ripped its stick out. | Found a flash drive in a comp lab, returned to owner, computer will never have baby calculators anymore. |
t3_3885mb | tifu | TIFU by cutting my grass. | So this TIFU was actually yesterday, but here goes...
I got home from work and decided to mow my lawn. My next door neighbor was also outside mowing her lawn. She starts waving her arms to get my attention, apparently she wanted to show me something that she had run over with her lawn mower. She tosses the "unknown object" to me and as a catch it I see that it is a damaged can of pepper spray. I chuckle and toss it aside, thinking nothing of it.
About 45 minutes later, after I've finished mowing the lawn, I go into my house and plop down on the couch to watch TV with my wife. I feel a little itch in my eye and start rubbing my eye. After about thirty seconds of this, my eye starts to burn with the fury of 1000 suns. It takes me another minute to remember the pepper spray and I get up and run out front. Sure enough, where I tossed the empty can on the sidewalk there was a puddle of reddish liquid, the can wasn't empty, and it leaked all over my hands - which I then rubbed all up into my eye. My wife, being a nurse, suggested a few remedies, and after about 30 minutes I was back to normal, but man, let me tell you....pepper spray is no joke. | I mowed my grass, entertained my neighbors curiosity, and ended up pepper spraying myself in the eye. |
t3_1huzaq | BreakUps | help, i dont know what wrong | my ex[22F] dumped me[21M] a little over a month ago. For a month, i was doing just fine. Actually, for over a month. Finally, after NC for a while, my ex and i had a talk and after that, that last sliver of hope just died. At first it actually felt good, cause i knoew i had to move on for sure, and there was no turning back.
Right now though, i've cried more in the past 5 days than i have for the rest of the break up. I'm constanly hurt, and i just feel alone, like completely alone. It hurts now, more than it ever did. I just feel completely broken and my heart just feels heavy.
I have gone through many positive changes in the last month, phsycially and mentally and emotionally, I've grown more in the last month than in the last decade of my life. I can't help but feel broken though.
Why is this happening now, after so long of me feeling alright, why am i emotional and hurt all of a sudden? | After a month and a half apart, I no longer feel good and i dont know why. |
t3_475bxi | relationships | I (m17) started talking to a girl (f17) and she wants to take things to the "next level". | I (17m) started talking to this girl (17f) a few weeks ago (right after my breakup with another girl who is irrelevant and won't be mentioned again). Things are going fine between the girl and I but she has been talking about having sex with me a lot. She's been around the block quite a few times and know sex pretty well.
I'm practically a virgin besides a few blowjobs and the 2 times I made it into the vajin. I'm worried about getting into a relationship like this with this girl. Tomorrow she wants to give me a blow job. I'm down for it but it makes me nervous because I don't really like her in that way. Should I bite the bullet and use her body or be honest and make it really awkward every time I see her in school?
I'm without a doubt going through with the blow job but I know it will lead to something more over the next week or so. | Girl I met a few weeks ago wants to become sexually active. I have very little experience and am nervous. Should I go ahead and give her what she wants or back out and focus on my school work? |
t3_31hdlt | relationships | Is he (28m) fading me (25f) out? | I got out of a 5 year relationship several months ago, and met a great guy out one night. We exchanged numbers and drunkenly kissed a couple times. I thought nothing of it, but my friend said I should text him and ask him out, since he's a nice person (her brother is roommates with this guy). I did, and he was really open to the idea.
So far, we've gone out 3 times, gotten lost in conversation for hours, held hands and kissed. He texted me almost every day, so I figured he was interested. I asked him last week if he wanted to hang out Wed or Thurs, seeing as I was going out of town for a while. He said he could probably do Wednesday, but his parents were visiting Thursday and he was behind on work. I told him that's fine, and if he was available I'd like to see him.
He texted me the morning of Wednesday, and apologized for having to cancel but the past weekend set him behind on things and he wanted to prepare for his parents. I told him I understood, and if he wanted to get together when I get back in 10 days, let me know. He said "yeah for sure" and wished me a happy holiday.
Normally, I'm fine with this! But he hasn't texted me at all since Wednesday and my friends are saying he is fading me out. It's been 5 years since I've dated anyone, so I have no idea how to conduct myself haha. I like him, but it's only been 3 dates and I'm not rushing to get a boyfriend. Advice yall? | Is this guy canceling on me then no longer texting fading me out? |
t3_1ry7s7 | relationships | I want to help my best friend (F/20) with her relationship with her boyfriend (21). | My best friend has been with this guy for a few months, he is her first boyfriend.
My friend has a lot of self-esteem issues and mild depression and anxiety. This makes it hard for her to be in a relationship, so I'm really glad that she has finally found someone.
She has recently voiced some concern about her boyfriend not caring about her feelings as much as she would like, and also not taking responsibility for his actions, eg. he would do something that would have negative consequences, and once she's upset he would be sorry that she's upset, but not sorry that he caused it.
He is not abusive in any way, she just feels a bit neglected, I think. It seems to me that he's quite stubborn and sensitive.
She says that if he continues to act this way, she will probably end the relationship.
What can I offer her in this situation? | Friend with emotional problems is finally in her first relationship, but her boyfriend is stubborn and does not take responsibility for his actions. What should I do? |
t3_2wiz0y | relationships | I [23 M] am still not over my ex [22 F] of less than 9 months, even though we broke up over 3 years ago. | I'll keep this short. I was dating this girl and it was going exceptionally well for about 6 months, just mutually head over heels, until we started living in different cities and had to break up due to a lack of contact. I was also secretly suspicious of infidelity, and I never really found out why she changed her mind about the whole thing.
This was devastating to me because she had already had me thinking we would be getting married just as soon as we could and eventually have kids too (it really was exceptional for those 6 months). After some failed attempts at staying in touch platonically, I decided the only way to get over her would be to cut her out and end all communication, so I did.
But despite my best efforts and the passing of 3 years, I still think about her, want to talk to her, or get flashbacks all the time. And it affects my life in that I've been terrified/incapable of getting into an emotionally committed relationship ever since.
My question is: What should I be doing/what am I doing wrong? | Had a short but powerful relationship with a girl that ended after we moved to different cities and she became nearly impossible to reach. Still not over her. What the hell is wrong with me? |
t3_3nhs12 | relationships | Me [27F] with my boyfriend [31M] of 5 years. How do I tell him his forgetfulness is beginning to frighten me without insulting him? | This isn't as huge a problem as most I see on here, but I hope someone can offer me advice!
My boyfriend (Jack) runs his own company, which he set up a few years ago. In the last six months or so, they haven't been earning consistent money, and Jack and his partners are getting antsy. There was an overseas conference a few weeks ago which Jack thought was unsuccessful, and he believes was the final nail in the coffin.
My problem is, that ever since then he has been incredibly stressed and sad. I've been trying my best to be supportive, but his stress is really affecting his ability to concentrate.
Over the two weeks since the conference he has:
a) left the gas on the hob all day which leaked all over the apartment
b) forgotten his keys in a training centre an hour from our home
c) run a red light, despite me telling him to stop multiple times. He said he just wasn't concentrating.
There have been many smaller incidents, but these were the big ones. After the keys incident I told him off, and asked for him to try and concentrate more, and he reacted snappily and quickly became quiet and despondent.
I'm worried about his safety, my safety and our pets safety if this continues, but I don't know how to bring it up without stressing him out more, and even if I do bring it up, I don't know what to suggest to help fix it!! Does anyone have any advice? | Boyfriend's stress is making him forgetful and it's worrying me. Don't know how to approach him, or what solution to approach him with. |
t3_1x75vk | relationships | Me [22 F] with my LD BF [21 M] of 8M, should I break up with him? | Me [22 F] and my LD BF [21 M] have been together for 8 months. He cheated on me once, and we've broken up twice. About a month ago I noticed he was being very distant and stopped saying that he loved me. When I snooped, I saw that he was using his OK Cupid and I was pretty heart broken. I called him out on the fact that he was shutting me out, never mentioning that I saw he was using his online dating profile. After a couple rough days, he said he loved me and I saw that he stopped using it. Lately it seems like he's been shutting me out again and yep, he's using his OK Cupid again. I'm just... heartbroken. I really want this to work, but I don't think he's committed to me. Should I break up with him?
Past/ more details: | My LD BF [21] cheated on me [21F] in the past and now I've noticed he's using his OK Cupid account. Should I break up with him? |
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