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t3_3mzhx1 | relationships | Me [29 M] dating[29 F], she doesn't feel comfortable having me over at her place? | I (C) have been dating S for a few weeks. Everything seems to be going very well, all of our dates have ended with kissing, she frequently texts me, and is very complimentary. She's very different then the girls I've been dating over the past few years, and I'm sill trying to figure her out. She's very classy, sweet, and positive, but a little shy.
Tonight we had plans to cook dinner at her place together. She then changed it to get dinner by her place then walk on the boardwalk. Now the weather is bad so she suggested getting dinner by me and asked what I wanted to do. I said I'd prefer my original idea of cooking together, we could do it at my place or hers. She eventually said she'd feel more comfortable at my place. I asked why, and she said she barely knows me and the last guy she met on the website we met on was clingy and aggressive and she feels uncomfortable now bc he knows where she lives.
I'm not sure how to feel about this. I haven't given the slightest sign of being either of those things, I've entirely been a gentlemen and treated her very well. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt because I can unknowingly be physically intimidating because I'm a 230lb bodybuilder. I'm offended that she would compare me to this other person, and hurt that she doesn't feel comfortable being a lone with me.
Am I being too sensitive? I almost feel like cancelling tonight, but maybe it would be better to talk to her about why she feels this way? I don't like having this conversations because I feel like it ruins any potential romance between us. | She doesn't feel comfortable being alone with me? |
t3_48kih5 | relationships | Me [25 M] Terrified of meeting Girlfriends [22 F] Family.. | Family as never played a huge role in my life, because I've never really had any. I was mentally and physically abused as a kid, so I have anxiety, self esteem issues.
I met a really nice girl who means the world to me, she wants me to meet her family and I keep backing out or making excuses because I feel as if I'm not good enough or that they won't like me. She told me her family keep asking to meet me and I'm terrified. I've spoke to her and been honest she knows about my anxiety, but she says she can't keep avoiding her family when with me, which is fair enough.
I don't know what to do? I really don't want to lose her, is it a case of man up ? Would really love some advice. | Girlfriend wants me to meet her family, I don't think I'm good enough and I'm worried they will turn her against me. I am aware I have mental health issues. |
t3_20wun4 | travel | To go home or stay? I could use you're wisdom and advice. | About 6 months ago I landed in London, England (with a short detour before in Iceland). I recently graduated University and was determined to get out of Canada and travel around the UK and Europe.
Problem is that it's been an uphill battle ever since to get financially stable because I made the mistake of coming under prepared. The biggest factor being my student loan debt. I have thousands of dollars of debt and can't make the minimum payment, as well as a small credit card debt.
I recently moved to Scotland to get a job that would have been enough to get me settled and sorted out, but the job fell through.
So I'm stuck at a cross roads. I either go back to Canada and get my finances sorted out with the comfort of knowing that I'll have a roof over my head, or I stay and use what I have left in a desperate attempt to land another job.
The thought of leaving makes me depressed as hell, but I'm running out of options on what to do.
Has anyone been in similar circumstances? What would you suggest? | Choosing between staying in the UK, or going back to Canada. Debt being the biggest problem. |
t3_3lpexv | relationships | Me [24 M] with my date [25 F] duration 1.5 months she still doesn't want to be touched | Hey friends need ur advice on dating. i have never dated till collage and i have no experience in dating. Now finally got a job and want to have a serious relationship. I have joined dating site ,found a girl matching my preference . We had totally 4 dates but still haven't hold hands ,on my 2nd date i tried slowly to touch her pinky finger and she withdrawn instantly like she touched some electricity. Damn i thought i made a bad move almost shit my pants and when i reached her home she told me to take it slow and told her of course and waved goodbye. On 4th date i tried again to touch her but she subtly moved sideways and i started sweating thinking did i made a bad move again. Now she wanted to have a another date. But my question is this:
1.should i wait till she wants to touch me or i should try again
2.if she doesn't want to touch me on 5 th date should i move on
3.if i don't want to date her should i tell her the reason or just tell this is not working
Date goes well she laughs and compliments me ,the flow going both way really well but she still doesn't want to be touched , i cant understand. Or else i have to wait till 90days as shown in some film to have her touched. If she is sexually abused i am happy to wait for sometime to get her feel safe with me but i don't know how to ask whether she is affected or not | 4 dates still no touch |
t3_19cwce | dating_advice | Is she overreacting or am I not seeing the big picture? [29] M and F | A few weeks back, this girl I have known for a few months came over to my place to play some music with me. I was somewhat innocent about it as I had never picked any signs from her. But well, it ended up happening and we had sex. Before we did, however, she made a big deal about that she's not looking for a relationship, and if I'm cool with nothing having anything serious, but just some sex fun.
I agreed, obviously, as I've recently come out of a relationship that I'm still hurting from, but hey, sex's always fun. Then we didn't see each other for a couple of weeks. In the meantime, I ran into a friend of hers who I always found quite hot, and asked her out. She turned me down (as far as I know, she never knew about me and the first girl), which I was fine with, no harm done.
Now earlier today she found out from that friend that I had asked her out, and she (the first girl) says she feels awkward about coming over again (we were trying to set up another sexy fun night). I told her I didn't see any reason to be awkward as nothing ever happened between me and her friend, and that she made a big point that we were never to be serious.
I'm obviously frustrated as I'm missing out on the sex here, but I've kept my cool about this. Still, I can't shake the feeling that she's overreacting here... So thought I'd ask you guys for any insight.
Sorry for the long post, I tend to be longwinded... Thanks! | Girl and I start NSA sex relationship, but she backs out because I asked her friend out once (and got turned down) |
t3_4l3br1 | tifu | TIFU by washing my comforter. | After returning home from college, I had some major laundry to do thanks to drunkenly throwing up all over my bed after a party. I was able to clean up most of the mess while at school, but the puke still left some stains that I didn't have the means to remove while at school. So once I got home, I embarked on Puke Clean part 2, including every part of my bedding: the sheets, the blanket, the pillows, and the comforter.
Now, unlike the high efficiency washers at my school, my parents' normal washing machine was not meant to clean something as big as a comforter, but I didn't know this at the time. So I stuffed it in there *along with everything else that required cold water* and left to do other stuff.
Of course, when I returned I found the laundry room to be soaked. Since I was home alone, I did the best I could to clean up before anyone returned, trying to keep them from knowing the incident had happened if possible. The carpet got soaked, so I hung it outside in the summer sun to dry.
By the time I expected my mother to return, the carpet was still not completely dry, but I put it back anyway hoping she wouldn't notice. She did. I just decided to come clean since at the time I thought it was nothing more than a little embarrassing foolish act. Then she hit me with "Did any of it leak to the basement?"
Fuck. That hadn't even occurred to me. I went to the basement to discover puddle city. A bunch of stuff was soaked. My mother's wedding flowers were more or less fucked (as fucked as a bunch of dead flowers can be, anyway).
I spent the rest of the day looking for anything that got soaked, putting it out to dry, and cleaning all the puddles on the floor. I will spend tomorrow putting it all back. That fucking comforter wasn't even stained to begin with, damn it. | Tried to machine wash my comforter, invoked the wrath of Neptune on the laundry room and basement. |
t3_3e516r | legaladvice | My dad said he's calling the cops on me for 'online theft' need help | I have an Amazon account before I lived with my dad and his credit card was attached to the account. Since then I have my own debit card and I pay for stuff myself, and I deleted his payment option off of my account so it's just my debit card on there.
Today he called me saying that I spent 99 dollars on his account and he wants the money back or else he's gonna "press charges" against me. I checked the payment options and it says that I paid under my account. Now he's threatening to call the base police (my mom is military) and say she stole from him.
I'm 17 years old and live in Louisiana. | My dad got charged for something I bought myself (that's what he says at least) and now he wants to go to the police, help. |
t3_1euh2k | relationships | My [F/19] bf [M/20] doesn't understand the importance of networking | We've been dating for a year.
We're college students at a big university. It's hard to get one-on-one time with professors, let alone be recognized by them.
I invite him to come to clubs with me (academic clubs like Physics club or Geology club), and he usually politely declines. Then I'll go, and afterwards he usually says things like "I get really lonely when you go out", which makes me feel guilty about going out at all - whether to network or for fun. I don't think he's intentionally making me feel guilty but it's not a nice feeling either.
What confuses me is that those are clubs related to his major, and are filled with interesting people.
The one time I brought my bf along to an event, he stayed by the wall and ate the free food the entire time. He didn't try to interact with any of the professors or grad students that were there, although he at least enjoyed the food and said he was glad he came (But it seemed it was for the food, not the people). | What is my role as a girlfriend here? Should I drag him to events and introduce him to people, or do I continue inviting him and getting declined (except when there's free food to be had)? |
t3_hauno | AskReddit | Does anyone know the effects of Ritalin if you're Bipolar? | Well... basically to explain the situation, i have a massive paper due in this monday, yet I'm extremely far behind (only 40% done).
So in order to help my concentration (as well being bipolar is never good for concentration) decided it would be great fun to take some Ritalin so i don't fail my degree. Although being the mug i am didn't really look into it, and now I'm experiencing an extreme amount of euphoria, my mind is buzzing and honestly I'm struggling to type this.
I think it has kind of back fired, i understand the science of the situation, i was just wondering if anyone had any experience with this sort of thing... whether it was a bad move, how long this feeling will last etc. | Big report due for my degree, took some Ritalin, not really doing what i expected/ what i've been told. Any adive? |
t3_1uaxrk | relationships | Me [21 M] with my SO [21 F] 3.5 years, Question for anyone who is in a non-monogamous/monogamish relationship. | Recently, my SO and I have moved into developing a monogamish relationship, and I do have one question about developing a monogamish relationship. I would like to ask you how it was when you started into a monogamish relationship. I cheated on my girlfriend first, and I know that sex outside of a relationship doesn't have to mean anything. My partner and I have talked through everything and we are on the same page. However, when she tells me about encounters she has had, especially if the guy was good at sex, I will pull back hard emotionally for about an hour while we talk through it and eventually I do get over it and move on. I just want to know if you or your partner ever felt this way when developing a new relationship dynamic.
I don't want to react like this. I know that these encounters, she has, don't mean anything other than the physical fun to her or me. So why do I react like this when she brings it up? Is there some way I can improve this behavior, or will it naturally go away over time as we become more used to the idea of incorporating outside partners?
Thanks for any help! | Developing a monogamish relationship with my SO. Even though we are on the same page and we both understand each other, I sometimes pull back emotionally when talking about encounters she has had. (Please read the post...) |
t3_2v53pc | tifu | TIFU by using the Lord's name in vain at work. | I'm a seventeen year old girl who is attempting to save up for the immense cost of a college education by working at my local McDonald's. I live in a tiny town where employment options for students are limited. This morning when I was at work, everything was going wrong. The ABS drink machine wouldn't work, I was exhausted, and I was at McDonald's. The final straw was when I was trying to get a customer's order ready. One of my coworkers ran into me and I dropped the tray and its contents onto the floor. I mumbled "Jesus Christ" under my breath, or so I thought. The female customer standing at the counter heard me. She went on a rampage about how a woman shouldn't curse and that God heard me curse him and that he would come and strike me down where I stood. I apologized and said that I didn't think about what I was saying as being offensive and that I'm not a religious person. She demanded that my manager fire me on the spot and later in there day called into the company who owns the store and complained that "Satan is among us." | Jesus freak cursed me out for saying "Jesus Christ. " |
t3_2myibr | relationships | I [22 M] was chatting with a [21 F] and her attractiveness changed | So I was talking with a girl I met on POF and looking at her pictures I thought she looked cute in most of them and beautiful in a couple of them. We talked for a couple days and we gave each other our names and I looked on Facebook for her. I looked through her pictures there and she just looked...different. I mean it was clearly her but I just didn't find her attractive anymore. I'm not really sure what to do now. I don't date people that I'm not attracted to (looks and personality are both important to me) and we were talking about meeting.
I'd really like some advice about how to handle this situation. | Talking with girl, don't find her attractive anymore, how should I handle the situation? |
t3_dzjku | AskReddit | Weightlifting pain advice | Hi, I have a question for the gym rats out there. Over the last few years, I have made several attempts to get into a regular weightlifting routine. This usually goes well at first, but after a couple months in, I start to develop very painful shoulder problems that force me to sit out for 4-5 months until I recover. This has happened three times now, which leads me to believe either I'm doing something totally wrong with my form, or my body is not built for this kind of exercise.
My routine consisted of doing 90% machines, mostly focusing on upper body. I gauge the weight by doing sets of 10, and picking the amount such that I'm pretty wiped out by the last rep. In addition, I incorporate freeweights sometimes, mostly for bicep curls and the other simple motions.
The pain I get has been varied, but always located in the shoulder. Once it became very painful for me to do anything that involved resistance while reaching above my head. Another time, I was unable to do the push-up kind of motion. It never comes on all of a sudden, but develops over about a week.
Otherwise I am in good shape, I run/play sports etc, but I do have a desk-job that involves a lot of sitting.
Anyway, if anyone had any advice, it would be greatly appreciated, as I have just gone through a recovery period and am about to start again. Should I just stick to lighter weights? If I do that, I don't really feel like I am accomplishing much. Thanks! | shoulders hurt from weights. why? |
t3_307vsr | tifu | TIFU by asking my dad for 20$ | I made a throwaway account because I'm even embarassed to share this. Today after school I asked my dad for 20$. He really doesn't care about me but I really wanted the money so I figured maybe he would have some sympathy for me for once. He told me to suck his dick. At first I though he was joking so I said, "Hey why don't I have *** and *** do it?" then laughed. He looked me dead in the eye and then said, "...then they would want the money. You're not a bright boy." I ran into my room and shut the door. I figured out why only my step brothers got presents this Christmas. Fuck my dad he's a terrible person. | ask my dad for some cash and he tells me to suck his dick. |
t3_1rq84s | relationships | Me [18 M] feels broken about always wanting what i cant have | I have a constant issue of wanting what i cant have when it comes to women.
Whenever i find out a girl in a relationship or if shes just out of my league i instantly find them more attractive and i get flirty, but when i find out they are interested in me i just kind of lose my own.
I hate myself for it because i feel like im not being fair to them but a switch just goes off and as a result i just havent been able to do anything with a women outside of 1 night stands and the like.
Maybe im scared, or its a dominance thing, i dunno. But has anyone else been like this? if you have does it pass? | Im interested in girls when i feel they are unobtainable but when it becomes a possibility i just lose interest. |
t3_1brx08 | cats | I'm thinking about embracing the crazy. Need advice. | Ok. Here's the situation. My wife and I have three cats - all of which hate each other. The original two: Daisy and Thumper never liked each other. Daisy tried to kill Thumper when he was a kitten, but he's huge now - I nicknamed him "Dumptruck". They've lived together for years and had a relatively peaceful detente going on... until we rescued an alley cat named Odin.
Odin is super-sweet - to us. He hates the other two, and will sometimes attack them with murderous intent. Our house has become a series of armed encampments: Odin in the master bedroom, Thumper in the spare, and Daisy in the basement. There's not as much violence as there used to be, but it's hardly a satisfactory situation.
Here's the crazy part: after doing a bit of research, we've mostly decided to adopt a fourth cat. Specifically a young female kitten. Odin is only about a year old and has much more energy than the other two. Thumper is about 8 or 9. Daisy is more like 18. We're thinking that adding another youngster will give Odin someone to play with and that this might have a transformative effect on the rest of the house.
Thoughts? Advice? | thinking about getting a 4th cat. |
t3_3qctxe | relationships | Not sure if it is good idea to get involved with this (32/m) guy... I'm (27/f) so tempted though... | Personally I stay far away from guys who jump from women to women or have cheated on his women at some point. But... There's this one guy that I know.
He have never been secretive about the fact that he date multiple women and sleep around. But he never ever say who he is doing it with or anything and is very secretive about it. Also he's always very upstraight about it. He never beats around the bush or anything. But from what I have seen and heard, he's a lot of fun to be around as he have tons of stories, do many things, have a very exciting life, and is easy to talk to and overall a very sweet and nice person.
Anyway.... This guy just asked me if I want to do something this week. I am rather conflicted about this. On one hand, I'm really curious about him and he have been nothing but respectful and nice to me. But at the same time, I'm not too thrilled that he never really committed to anyone and is just all over the place.
Have anyone went out with this type of person? Is it a bad idea or not? What is it like?
Thanks | This guy who is known for dating numerous women yet is honest about everything and a very nice guy all around asked me out. Not sure if I should or should not go out with him. |
t3_29mcvd | relationships | Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [19 M] have been together for over a year. I am Hindu and my boyfriend is Muslim. I told my parents about our relationship, and they are not accepting at all. | I told my parents about our relationship, and they are not accepting at all. They claim that muslims are bad people, and all they have to say is that because of this their relationship with the Indian society will cease to exist.
I don't understand how they can admit that they only want their lives to be perfect, and that I am living my life for them and not for myself and my happiness.
Now my father specifically is blaming me for all of his problems with some specific people he can't seem to get along with in the indian community, claiming that they know about my relationship and are isolating him due to that.
I feel like I've wronged my parents even though they are narrow minded and judgemental. But I also know that I am right, and that I should do what makes me happy.
I'm not sure what to do anymore, since my father is threatening to take me out of my University to keep me at home.
I desperately need some advice. | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_4gvpll | relationships | My [26F] partner [33M] of four years, he forgot about my graduation date and has already planned a trip away at that time. | Me and my boyfriend have been together for four years. I feel like recently we have become distant and faded away. I catch myself feeling like I am just not important to him anymore or that he has lost interest in our relationship. He denies it and keeps insisting that everything is fine with us.
I am graduating from collage finally next month. I am so excited and it is going to be a huge thing in my life. He knows that I want him to come. The longest time ago he agreed to come and seemed very interested in coming and being a part of this big day. So every time I go over to his place (we live separately) I tell him how many days are left of school and remind him about the date of the graduation. I even asked him to put it in his calendar many times so there would be no misunderstandings because he works a lot all the time.
Then today I come over to his place. And the tells me that he has agreed to go on a work trip to another state at this dates. And it is the weekend of my graduation. So he had just totally forgotten about that and planned something else. And the worst part is that he has never time for us or this relationship so I feel that this was the last drop that filled the boat to make it sink.
Should I take this as a simple misunderstanding or doesn't it mean a little more than that? | My partner of four years forgot about my gratuation date and has already planned a trip away at that time. |
t3_zdjxq | AskReddit | What was the last thing you heard from your loved one or someone who inspired you that you won't hear from again? | I was fortunate enough to have my close family alive, including my grandparents throughout my short life (college freshman) until last year when my grandpa passed away. He was a English Literature professor in Korea and praised my (honestly poorly-written in hindsight) Hamlet paper. The last conversation I had with him over the phone was about how much he was impressed with my writing. He emphasized how reading classics is very important, and a lot of powerful people (politicians, etc.) are shallow because they don't appreciate such important medium. He told me to always keep reading and understand the classics, and to always keep working hard and become successful. He was truly a wise man and it just absolutely sucks that I don't get to converse with him now that I actually can submerge into Shakespeare and all those grown-up-things he was fluent with.
He also left a message for me on my senior yearbook, which was distributed months after he passed. I broke down in school when I read it. | My gradpa was really wise and he left me inspiring messages. I'm sad I won't get to talk to him now that I'm somewhat mature enough to understand his messages. |
t3_2kip8s | personalfinance | turning 18 soon, feeling kinda scared of making financial mistakes in my future. Any advice/ possible plan to stay out of financial trouble? | I'm turning 18 soon. I had a job for like 7 months but i quit it last week so i could focus on school. Currently a HS senior taking college classes on wednesdays and saturdays. I am sorta sad to be turning 18 because i feel like i did not have all the fun that most of my freinds have had in these past teen years and now that these years are coming to an end, i'm feeling sad (sorry for digressing from finance) but anyways, i really don't want to make financial mistakes so i have come here to get advice/tips/ possible plans to prevent huge errors. My parents have given me some, but i really want to be in check.
I also had a couple of questions
Question 1 - Should i go to a 4-year university or stay home with parents and go to City college (community college) for first 2 years to finish gen eds?
My parents have basically told me that they'll let me live here for free as long as i don't have a job and stay in school. People have told me that i'll miss the "experience" of going to a 4-year school but to be quite honest, I've had problems with depression (reason why i had no fun) and i don't think it'd be a good idea to go off somewhere to university and stress myself out (i'm still sorta fighting through) that and i also think it'd be better to save money.
Question 2 - I want to travel (alot) Planning to study abroad in my junior/senior years of college. But definately more after college. Is it wise to do so? Is there a financially responsible way to travel?
Question 3 - As of right now, I have my license and i know how to drive but i don't own my own car, I use my dad's truck and ride my bike everywhere. Should i just keep riding my bike everywhere? or should i go ahead and buy my own car? This one seems sort of obvious but i wanted to know if there are any financial benefits of having your own bike AND car? can't seem to find any but yeah, just curious. | !7 year old needing financial advice/tips |
t3_b3opw | AskReddit | Non-Vegetarians: What is your view on hunting? | Firstly: I do not want to separate out vegetarians, I simply want to skip over the hardened "because killing is wrong, animals have XYZ rights/sentience/etc and do not deserve to be eaten" viewpoint. Most importantly, I want to dodge the proselytizing of hardcore vegetarians and vegans. Please, though I am soliciting opinion, I do not want violent persuasion and the like. Further, please do not take offense that my opening paragraph has an implication that vegetarians/vegans cannot be civil in a discussion about hunting.
**ANYWAY**
I am interesting in the philosophy of hunting, and not so much with guns or tradition. I'm talking about right NOW, regardless of the weapon/tool, would YOU, the common man or woman of reddit, hunt and kill an animal?
Some say they would, and have no problem doing so.
Others say they would *so long as* the animal does not go to waste; its parts all be used, cherished, etc.
To those folks: WHY?
Some don't know. I want these thoughts.
Some would not unless they were starving; why kill when there are animals fated to die, prepared to eat right now, and the lucky woodland critter you would kill could otherwise be spared?
Some would not unless the animal in question were overpopulated and in need of culling.
To these folks: WHY do you hold those beliefs?
And lastly: I am not interested in the "statistics" or "practicality" of hunting. It doesn't matter if hunters are to blame for shooting deaths, or if non-hunting damages the eco system. ( | !) I want the opinions and reasoning of individuals *as* individuals regarding the topic. |
t3_17ed5w | relationship_advice | I [M/21] do not know if I still want to be with gf [F/20]. Questions about sex and expectations | I've been with my current girlfriend for about 2.5 years. We have had a great relationship and have created memories that I will always cherish. We have some big differences on opinion on some issues but none of them are bigger than the issue of sex. Now, when we started dating, she said she was not ready for sex at the time, and I, not really giving it a second thought, said it was fine as we were both still kind of young. I had been in a previous relationship where there was some but not a lot of sex, as well as a couple random hook ups between relationships, but nothing major.
We have experimented with other kinds of physical affection and that had been fine with me as I respected her wishes to not have sex. The problem is that as of lately, I've been craving sex like crazy, and assumed that after being together for 2.5 years it might be a good time to see if she wanted to have sex. She does not want to have sex because she claims to be deadly afraid of getting pregnant. Of course I've offered to use condoms or any other birth control she felt comfortable with. She still refuses and says she has no idea when she will be ready but says she would feel more comfortable knowing she could financially take care of the baby were she to become pregnant.
All of this and a couple of heated, but respectful discussions have left me wondering if I want to wait until she is ready to be intimate in that way with me. If I had been asked at the beginning of our relationship if we would be having sex by the time we had been together 2.5 years and were both more than halfway done with college, I would have answered yes without a doubt. I feel that we are at different maturity levels and expect different things out of our relationship. I don't want to pressure her into having sex and then having her resent me. Has anyone else been in this kind of situation? What happened? What did you do? | My girlfriend of 2.5 years doesn't want to have sex. I thought we would be having it by this point in our relationship. |
t3_3s21gx | legaladvice | FIL (70m) involved in fatal motorcycle accident last night. Reports say charges pending. What to expect? (FL) | Florida, USA. On mobile so sorry in advance for typos/formatting errors.
My father in law was driving his truck home at dusk last night and made a legal left turn across a 4 lane highway. He did not see the motorcycle in the far lane. No alcohol/drugs involved at all.
We have no info on the motorcycle or riders except they were not wearing helmets. The man died at the scene and his rider is in serious condition. No idea how fast they were going or if they had their lights on.
News reports say charges are pending.
What scares me is that FHP talked to him last night for an hour, and now I'm wondering if we should've gotten a lawyer for him first. What should we expect going forward? I can't find anything online or in this sub referring to this. If this needs to be in a different sub let me know. | FIL pulled in front of motorcycle causing fatality; charges pending, now what? |
t3_3h8hxv | relationships | Me [28 M/F] with my _girlfriend__ [26 M/F] 4 years, How can i express to my girlfriend the importance of regular sex without coming off as a pervert | Ive noticed that our sex has started to go down recently and this is one thing im worried about if i marry her ending up in rdeadbedroom that is one place i wont go unless someone is sick or cant have for medical reasons or is having medical problems i see no excuse here at all people do stuff they dont want to do all the time in relationships and i refuse to end up having sex once a month or something like that how can i tell her this without coming of like a scumbag for further notice im not like other douche bags who either dont do romantic things or make her feel love and expect sex or annoy her 3 days a week minimum is fine ill even take a 10 min quicke and yes im in shape this is something i would end a relationship for divorce or break up i am not living lke that its sad to be living like roomates and this is also how i know she loves me and is one of the things i like best to express love i already know the you are a pervert use your hand and leave her alone she does not have to do anything for you people are coming | express that sex is very important without sounding like a perv |
t3_wq8cv | relationships | Scared to ask a friend to hang out or do anything, how to I break my shell and try to become better friends? | Me (male), my girlfriend, and our friend (male) are all 20 and all work during the summer together, me and my girlfriend have been going out for 3 years, and we have known the friend for about a year.
We frequently hang out as a group, but usually it is my girlfriend as she is the super social one that arranges it all.
I am very introverted and insecure, and the other guy is introverted and shy too. I don't have many friends, and the ones I do tend to be like my girlfriend and arrange everything for me.
My best friend has been really busy with school, and I thought I would like to try and become good friends with this person.
I am scared to ask this person to do anything without my girlfriend there, as I don't know if they would want to, and I scared of them saying no, or they just don't like me.
I think what if he only like hanging out with me so he can just see my girlfriend, or if he really likes me why does he never offer to do anything with me on our own.
This doesn't just apply to this person, but other people to.
Any tips? | Scared to ask a friend to do anything without my girlfriend arranging it, I think they don't like me |
t3_2zo12a | relationships | My boyfriend [20] and I [21] have been together for 7 months. I feel insecure/too jealous and it's forcing him to hide things and lie. What do I do? Help? | I will just be honest with you, my boyfriend is a 10. He's perfect. He's tall, handsome, smart, talented, athletic, everything you want in a man. I am a 4.
Yesterday, I was looking for his account when I saw his friend's photos of them eating lunch together. The problem is this: He told me he is not able to eat lunch with me because he has to be with his mother. When I saw the photo, I wasn't mad that he spent time with them, I was mad that he lied to me. That he had to make up an excuse just to hang out with his friends.
When I confronted him, he told me that photo was a week ago. When I asked him, how come you are wearing the same shirt you were wearing earlier this morning when we were together, but he said, he just reuses his clothes often since he doesn't have a lot.
I know he lied to me, I could tell. But I cannot blame him after telling me that the reason he lied or that he doesn't tell me anything is because he feels as if he will be punished if he hung out with friends, especially when there are girls. He also feels that I get extremely sad when he is around friends.
Before him, I was in a terrible relationship, which caused me to have a lot of fears about a boyfriend [he was emotionally and verbally abusive] . One fear is a boyfriend that is shady and a liar, and I told my current boyfriend that, and he did the same thing.
I need help. Please help.
I really love him… I want to be with him.. and I want him to be with a better me.. | Any advice on how I could be a better girlfriend, and how I could I show him that he could hang out with friends without hiding it and lying? Any advice on how I could be less jealous and insecure? |
t3_11vvuy | AskReddit | What was the worst thing that somebody has done to you without you being able to do anything about it? | One night many years ago i was driving home from a show with 2 friends, and i had to pee very badly. I stopped off the freeway and pulled into a parking lot next to a Denny's and a construction site and use the porta potty, about 30 ft from where i parked my car. The 2 friends wait in car. Im peeing and its awesome up until (im shaking in anger typing this) when 3 people i hear come running up to the porta potty im in from the direction of the Denny's, all laughing and saying things. Knock it over while im in mid piss. I hit the ground, shit and piss from people i will never know splashes all over me. The door is facing the ground. I'm trapped. I cant roll the thing over, its too heavy, no matter how hard i ram the walls with my shoulders. The 3 people drive away as soon as my 2 friends help roll it over. 2 friends didn't see who did it and neither did i. Never in my life did i want to shed blood so badly. | got knocked over and trapped in a porta potty by strangers |
t3_3waf34 | tifu | TIFU by telling a lady her undercarriage was falling off... | So today a lady whose kids spend time at my house while she teaches a class pulls up in my yard, and the plastic protector for her undercarriage was hanging off the bottom of her car.
Me: "Your undercarriage is falling, you should push that back up in there so it doesn't snag on something..."
Lady: *shocked* "Well...I JUST took my bra off, I didn't think anyone would notice."
Me: *Still oblivious, thinking that she meant her AUTObra* "Well...that was probably holding it up, but you could probably just push it up in there so it's not falling out for now" *bends down and starts to push the protector back up into the bumper*
Her: "Oh crap...I thought you were talking about my UNDERCARRAIGE" *Points to her chest*
We both turned a shade of crimson as we realize we were talking about completely different things...and I wonder why her first thoughts were that I was talking about her saggy boobs catching on something... | When talking about a woman's undercarriage, always add 'on your car.' |
t3_hus51 | AskReddit | What non-controversial yet illogical social stigma makes no sense to you? | Obviously, by controversial I mean things like homophobia or racism. This is in regards to less emotionally charged issues.
Mine is stigma against convenient clothing, such as clip-on ties and velcro shoes. I understand that there's a preconception that only children and the handicapped wear velcro shoes due to the fact that they lack either the coordination or the training to tie laces, but why is there such a stigma about it?
There is no logical benefit to wearing laced shoes over velcro. Velcro shoes hold just fine, velcro is easier to fasten and unfasten, never comes untied, and never breaks while you're trying to fasten it.
If you follow the logic back to its root, the biggest reason we wear laced shoes is just to prove to other people that we know how to tie the laces, because they have no other advantages over velcro. | Velcro shoes are more logical and sensible than laced shoes, yet there is a stigma against them, so we end up wearing laced shoes just to prove to others that we know how to tie them. |
t3_phcik | AskReddit | Im attracted to children, how do i cope with this? | Im in my early 20's and im exclusively attracted to boys ~8-14 in every way, i have never molested any kid and i have no plans in doing so, i have never being molested myself either.
I usually isolate myself from the world, just stay at home playing video games all day but recently i participated in a activity related with kids (nothing bad happend, again me sexually assaulting a kid its not the issue) and it made me realize how lonely i am, i just love boys, i love teaching things to them, looking after them or just being friends. This was a one time thing and im not looking to repeat it because, even though a had a great time and really enjoyed spending time making kids happy i felt like shit afterwards never before i felt so damn lonely.
The real problem is that i have no interest in life, i just dont see the point of living forever alone and not being able to express my feelings, i would just stay at home waiting to die, and this is what is causing a lot of troubles because my parents, they both know about my feelings, want me to go out there and have a life, they want me to go to the college and have a career and im going because they sent me but with awful results, im doing really really bad, and i can tell the increasing stress and emotional tension my parents are going through so im asking what should i do. I have been in therapy many times with many different doctors but none has provided useful help or lasted very long, mainly because i know that nothing its going to change the way i am. | Attracted to boys, dont want to live, parents stressed over son not wanting to live. |
t3_120pc7 | AskReddit | What is your best prank? Funny, Scary, Gone Wrong? I'll give it a go first. | So, a week ago I posted a comment and some redditor said elaborate. Here's a go at an 'AskReddit'
Elaborated part of prank.
As a child I was often fascinated by creatures who lived off blood and being rather mischievous and able to get into small places. Brother was a bit wary of my pranks by this age so they had to get elaborate. As a teenager he frequented the kitchen being a growing boy and etc. Our parents both worked at the time to help pay off the bills, (I tend to get sick easily and steroids seem to be the only option. Which is questionable considering the homeopathic person my mother is.) so we usually are home alone. He's around 11 and I about 8-9, and he's going to come into the kitchen so I hide... in the pantry. He leaves and goes about his homework thinking I'm outside or reading in a quiet corner as usual. Too afraid to lose this chance, I watch in silence from the pantry for four hours as he completes his homework of writing an essay and some algebra.
Dad comes home early, sends Alex off with a new game to play and comes into the kitchen to make some coffee. I'm still in the pantry. And well, since there is a new plausible target; why not? Though it is impossible to scare my father. He cleans the coffee pot and comes over to retrieve the grounds from the pantry, opening the doors.
"RAWR I'M DRACULA!" I yell, thinking he'll laugh. He screams and bolts for the other door. I stiffly move my legs and ask; "Daddy?" To this day I have no idea why I stood there for so long, back then it was thought that I had ADhD; not anymore though. | Tried scaring brother, waited for him for a long time in kitchen pantry; scared father instead. Father doesn't get scared often enough to know if he really was. |
t3_deriu | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, my friend got a Facebook friend request from a girl he's never met, and her profile picture was a photo of him - What should he do? | So here's my friend's [profile](
And here's [the girl] who friend requested him
He had [this picture] on Facebook, but it was never cropped to look like she had it.
After taking a look at her profile through my friend's Facebook, it was obvious that she was a real person with over 600 Facebook friends and an active wall that was comprised of her own Facebook statuses on which others posted, and also wall posts from her friends. She also had many tagged pictures of herself. Basically, there was enough evidence to come to the conclusion that her profile was legitimate, and not just a spam account.
Now, this could have occurred on accident, but you have to go through many steps to make someone else's picture your OWN profile picture. She would have had to save the picture, upload the picture to her Facebook, and then crop it through Facebook. This could have also been a prank by one of her friends, but my friend, Garrett, and her have NO mutual friends. Garrett's profile is also set to private. This entire situation seems very strange.
Any ideas to how this could have came about?
Also, what should he do about it? Suggestions, please! | My friend's getting creeped on on Facebook, what should we do? |
t3_3h2ag8 | tifu | TIFU by asking for organic milk and refusing to drink regular milk | This happened two years ago, but I still think about it at least 2 nights a week. So...after a high school tennis match, my friend's mom asked if I wanted to join them for dinner. Even though I didn't want to, my mom wasn't cooking anything good for dinner anyways so why the hell not. So fast forward to dinner, the dad asked me if I wanted some milk and I asked him "is it organic?", he said no and I said "no thanks". The rest of the dinner felt awkward since the conversation kind of died out, I was the one who was starting all the conversations.
When I got home, my friend told me that his parents were complaining how I'm picky and spoiled that I had to drink organic milk. Maybe I should've told them that I avoid regular milk because I'm having problems with acne. | At friend's dinner with parents. Refused milk, asked if it was organic. Perceived as spoiled and picky. Regular milk causes acne. |
t3_3xrqyz | Advice | Should I email her again or is it not worth it? | I'm 22 and working at a hospital. I got signed up for a 5 day study testing kinesthetics. The person conducting the study was a girl (maybe 24?) who was part of that lab. She's from England and studied at a prestigious university. I spoke to her from day 1 to day 5 of the study during breaks and such.
We grabbed breakfast together on day 3 and sat and spoke for a good 20 minutes. I asked her out on day 5 (Friday morning) and she gave me her email address. She explained that she would add me on whatsapp and we could work out the details, and also told me to email her my number.
I emailed her with a simple "hey it's Alex. My number is ...." that Friday evening. She did mention that she would be out of town with friends on Sat and Sun. She still hasn't responded (Monday evening). Maybe I'm being expecting a quick response or maybe she's just busy. I'm not sure. Is this a dead end or should I wait a few more days and email her again with a more direct "are you still interested in going out etc"? Thank you. | English girl gives American guy email address after asking her out, guy emails her but no response for 3 days. Wait longer or just a waste of time? |
t3_4s3je3 | relationships | Confused Feelings After Five Years of Relationship | I am 21, male and live in germany. My girlfriend is 19. We met about 5 years ago, on a haloween party and exchanged numbers. She had a crush on my Best friend that time, but he wasn't interested. She also lost interested in him when we learned to know each other. the Feelings grow strong pretty fast, in both of us.
Fast forward to this day. We live in a romantic relationship. We fight over small things like an elderly couple, but we never forget to appreciate us being there for each other. Our love is still strong, and the bed in our room is not only used to sleep in .. i would say that we are happy.
But now this.. A few months ago i was out in the Club with a few friends. They had some girls with them. I am normally not interested in any other girl. No matter how sexy or beautyful - always was faithful.
Tho this day there was this one girl that caught my attention. I don't know how to explain the Feelings but I think a cheesy "love at first sight" will fit it the best.. I was not able to get her out of my head.. up to this day i am thinking of her. It makes me feel guilty towards my girlfriend because it feels like -in my head- i am cheating on her. I am indeed fantasizing about how a relationship with this other girl would be like... We have just so much in common it is crazy!
I don't want to leave my girlfriend.. But I can't leave the other girl to forget her aswell, because she is good friends with most of my new and only friends... I really don't know how to handle the situation im in right now... | (Male/21) in a relationship with girlfriend(19) for over 5 years. Met a girl that I have got feelings for in an instant. Don't know what to do because I love GF. |
t3_15c1hk | relationships | 19M confused with 21F's renewed interest | 19 yr old student here. I asked out my friend 21 yr old (lets call her C for ease), and she said no. Here is the sticky part, I asked her out a month ago, and I've tried to move on. Unbeknownst to me, one of her friends likes me and has come on pretty hard to me.
Soon through a mutual male friend of ours C finds out about it and proceeds to question me about it. Although she rejected me, she consistently asks me about my love interests every time I express interests in any girls.
Also, while we were out with a mutual friend (R), I joke with R and I tell her that the girl I like is ugly. C steps in and tells R that I tease her by calling her ugly often.
So, does she still have interest in me or is this all in my head or am I getting led on? | Girl who rejected me, shows interest in me after rejection, am I being screwed with or just dealing with someone immature? |
t3_2l6wy3 | relationships | 21 (F) Just looking for general input but... | So, my boyfriend (20/M) and I have been dating for nine months, and it's been pretty great overall. We're on the same page academically, and have similar goals/wishes for the future. However, there are a few problems in our relationship that have begun to worry me. I'm black and he's white, and his dad (and paternal extended family) doesn't know because the last time he brought it up his dad threatened to stop paying for his schooling. In the beginning I didn't mind avoiding this issue, but now it really worries me that he won't address it because I don't want us to get even more serious while knowing there's still any chance that that could break us up. Secondly, I feel as if sexually we aren't on the same page. We've talked about sex many times before (what we might like, willing to try, everything) but initiation of anything vaguely sexual leads to me being shut down. When I asked if he wanted to have sex (in general anything sexual) he gave me some excuse about needing to do some man prep work. I do plan to talk to him about my feelings, but right now it's as if we've reached a stalemate in solving these problems and I just wanted some input. | Racial issues with some of his family/possible sexual incompatibility with my SO (20/M) have me considering our future together. |
t3_2vrqt7 | Advice | Need advice after christmas party screw up... | Hey Reddit...! I need you advice.... Basically, I've been working for the same company for 7 years and during our christmas party, I got pissed drunk and started talking about how tired I was of working there, that I wanted to change, etc etc etc... I don't think I bashed on any of my bosses personally, but still... Eventually, I moved on and apparently got over emotional on how apparently everyone was faking having fun and all...
I obviously don't remember any of this...
My job is seasonal so I don't usually work for for a couple of weeks after christmas.
Basically, yesterday one of my bosses called to ask me I was available to work. Obviously I said yes. He then sort of jokingly asked me if I still wanted to work for the company and I awkwardly said yes. He didn't seem mad or anything. I sure felt like shit though...
So... I'm supposed to start monday and I'm really not looking forward to it... I'm not really sure what to do when I see all my co-workers. I'm still not sure what exactly I said and did... But it's not the first time someone asks me if I'm coming back. I felt like going to see the guy that called me yesterday and personally apologizing and then asking him what exactly I did so I can know what I'm up against... I also don't really know what to say...
Anyone else go through weird after christmas parties? What did you do and how did it go afterwards?
Help me reddit.... Fml. | don't get pissed drunk at your job's christmas parties |
t3_ymede | AskReddit | kids of single parents.. do you feel like you missed out? | I was raised by my dad, along with my sister. He did everything in the world for us, including curling our hair every night before bed. He was so bad at it and we looked absolutely crazy, but he just figured, girls curl their hair.. should probably do that.
I am now married and trying to find my way, as a wife and a mother. I struggle with figuring out what a wife does. I try like hell, but always burn dinner, never think to change the toilet roll, and clean only when things are noticeably dirty. Reaaaally dirty.
I recently found a list online of daily chores, and it blew me away. People do *that much cleaning* every day?
I never felt like missed out, my dad taught us to care about other things, I just thought I was normal. Well. Until now.
Hm.. | No mother, my lady instincts are low. |
t3_3rbnnc | tifu | TIFU by giving someone the finger | So this happened around an hour ago.
We were driving into the city, which has a speed limit of 50km/h. All of a sudden, this car appears from behind us and was obviously travelling a lot faster than 50km/h since it over took quite a few other cars behind us. They honk at us, I'm assuming that they did so because they thought that we were travelling at a slow speed. This is when I fuck up and give them the finger, keep in mind that I'm sitting in the back seat and I couldn't be bothered looking back to see the car. We stop at the traffic lights and they pull up alongside us. As most people would, I look across to the other car to see who the speeding asshat was. Turns out that it was my maths teacher and her husband (IT teacher) in that car... Well I guess it'll be awkward at school tomorrow. | Gave someone the finger, turned out to be two of my teachers. |
t3_1ipzgw | AskReddit | How does one exact their revenge? | My friend's phone was stolen and a new phone number appeared in his Lookout app. When it first happened the phone number didn't work and he couldn't trace it without paying money on a reverse phone search. Lookout still can't locate the phone physically. I think the phone is gone for good, but may have the person's phone number. It's been 2 years and the phone number works again. No one answers and it goes to a vm saying you reached that number and not a person's name. What are some good ways to prank someone using just their phone number? | If you have a deserving person's phone number, what is the worst/best way to exact revenge?! What are some good pranks reddit has heard of? |
t3_2z4g9u | tifu | TIFU by falling of a shed | So last night me and my friends all decided to get really blazed on the roof of my friends shed. This shed is approximately 2m high, which in reality isn't that high for a 1.83m tall guy.
So we smoke our 5 spliffs and are having an amazing time on this roof. We then decide to get down, me being furthest away meant that I had to get down last. As I swing my legs over the side I begin to doubt whether I can actually do this. All my friends are stood at the bottom laughing their asses off while I'm sat there terrified as I can't even see the floor due to it being pitch black. Eventually I work up the courage to jump. As I landed I attempted to break my fall by rolling; yet instead of professionally rolling away, I roll on to my side and just lay there. One of my friends runs of screaming in the middle of the night that I'm dead, the others are still stood around me laughing. Eventually I get up brush myself down and pretend that didn't happen lol. | Got stoned on roof, tried to jump, ended up laying on the floor |
t3_38bold | relationships | Friend group [18-20 M/F] texts each other, never texts me. | I [18 M] joined a friend group with my roommate and a couple of other people on the floor of my dorm about mid way through the year. The original people of the group created a group chat and added me + the 9 other members.
Whenever I visit the original members at their apartment, I can hold up a conversation pretty well. It doesn't seem like they dislike my company. However, I feel like I'm being left out because they communicate outside of this group chat.
I wouldn't mind, but every time a new inside joke comes up, I'm the last one that finds out about it. There were some moments that I acted weird, but I always assumed they didn't mind.
Another reason I feel uncomfortable in this group is because whenever I text/message any of them, I never get a response. I always have to be in person when I want an answer. Nobody, other than my roommate and one other person in the group respond to anything that isn't in person. Should I keep trying to be better friends with them? Or should I accept the fact that they don't enjoy my company.
I have other friend groups that I hang out with that at least respond to what I say that isn't in person, so I'm not sure why this group is doing this.
Also, I'm living with half of them next year, which is why this is stressing me out. | Friend group tries to ignore me outside of in person, should I still try to be better friends with them? |
t3_2a2sk7 | relationships | I [36 M] was lied to by my girlfriend [36 F] about owning her own condo. | My girlfriend of almost 3 months and I decided to get a place together. She lives over an hour away currently so we thought it would make our relationship stronger.
I've fallen completely in love with her. So we found a place we liked, signed a lease to rent it and was about to put a deposit on it when I found out she had been lying to me.
She had said she owned her condo and has been trying to find a renter for it. She would update me with how having her sign a lease was going and working on getting the deposit. I told her I would take care of calls and maintenance on the property since I was used to that type of thing. I even lowered the rent of the house Im currently living in (own) so that I could find a renter quickly. I found one, signed a rental agreement and collected their deposit.
Then I find out by looking up her taxes for her current home and she isnt listed as the owner. She never once told me and I don't believe she ever would. She even mentioned she wanted to try to "fix" it by going ahead and purchasing that property.
I feel really betrayed. I want to forgive her for this, I know she maybe felt inadequate in the beginning that she is doing a lease with option to buy. But I just feel that was really dishonest and she had so many opportunities to come clean about this. I could really use some advice on this. I obviously cancelled my part of the deal and I've told her I don't want to move in with her. Am I overreacting? I would like to continue seeing her, is that crazy? Should I cut ties? Im pretty confused. | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_2lh5yb | relationships | I feel like a horrible person for breaking up with my boyfriend soon, but know it's for the best. Please help me (F22). Him (27) | Been together for over two years. After about a year we've broken up five times. He's in a rut in his own life and works a crappy minimum wage job, lacks motivation and passion, and seems depressed. Underneath that though is very caring guy who does love his friends and family. We get on well when things are good. He has difficulty having girls close to his heart and I feel so happy that I am loved by him.
But after all these break ups and various issues we've gone through I've found my heart has taken one too many beatings and I would like to improve my own life with different time consuming activities. Potentially dating someone new who hasn't hurt me as well. I'm writing this with a heavy heart and can't stop crying.
It's not a lie when I say I love him. He's like family to me and he knows me better more than anyone. I wish I could take the pain away from him when I do break up with him for good this time. I know he's gonna try and convince me to stay even after I leave because I let him before. Multiple times.
My head has been telling me that this needed to end much sooner. I'm not stupid. But my feelings and closeness to him have overshadowed those thoughts. When I'm with him I forget the problems. But when I'm away I remember them and know that they are right after after all these break ups.
We've broken up before through text and phone. First time in person. I really want this to be the final one and for it to be in person which won't be for another few days. I think about the best way to explain my reasons and what I need to do to make this the least painful for him as possible. But I could really use some help on this. | Broke up and was hurt so many times. On again off again. I love him in a different way now. But things can't stay like this and I can't keep pretending I'm in love with him. Logic beats the feelings. Please help me keep this a permanent thing this time, but with as much care about it as possible. |
t3_o9h15 | relationships | Ex-Girlfriend is lying and telling her friends that I was physically and emotionally abusive. | Alright so 2 years ago, I cut it off with my then girlfriend of 3 years. Things were very rocky near the end and we were finding ourselves getting in more fights and the whole things didn't end up the best that it could have. No punches or anything remotely near that were thrown and everything was mainly done over the phone because we became to despise even looking at the other.
Alright.
So 2 years pass and I'm thinking nothing of it. I start talking to my friend, whose sister is friends with my ex, and he tells me that my ex girlfriend has been telling his sister and her other friends that I was physically and emotionally abusive. I'm like wtf? and originally I don't really care because my true friends know who I am and near the end, my ex girlfriends was showing that she was pretty manipulative with me and her friends so I just thought that she was continuing with her old ways. Then a couple months, I drive by a kid who I don't recognize, after I look back at him, he is flicking me off. I realize that he is my ex's now boyfriend. I still don't understand why he is flicking me off after I have done nothing to him, never had said a word to him, and never had anything to do with his girlfriend for over 2 years. I am now suspecting that she is spreading and lying to everyone that I am physically and emotionally abusive.
What do I do? | Ex girlfriend is telling her friends and maybe her boyfriend, that I physically abused her while dating 2 years ago. These are obvious lies. |
t3_1tsbg1 | relationships | I [22f] am applying to grad schools and I'm afraid that my only option may be to attend a grad school 7 hours away from my boyfriend [24m]. | I won't find out if I've been accepted anywhere until this spring, but I'm afraid that the only school that will accept me/give me the best offer financially will be the one that is 7 hours away from my boyfriend. We've only been dating for 4 months but we're pretty serious. We've talked about moving in together after I graduate and we've even talked about marriage (not any time soon, but the idea of it and what we want). I've told him I don't want a 4-6 year long distance relationship and he's said he doesn't want to move.
Part of me feels like what's the point of this relationship if it's just going to end but then the other half of me says there's no way of knowing what will happen so don't try to plan for anything.
I guess I'm seeking advice/opinions on choosing careers over relationships or vice versa. Has anyone ever made that call? If so, do you regret the decision you made? | Might have to attend grad school 7 hours away from current boyfriend. I don't want a 4-6 long distance relationship. Not sure what to do or think. |
t3_2b3i84 | relationships | How to tell grandparentsparents about divorce? | I'm 26 and been married for two years. About 6 months ago my wife told me she was unsure if she loved me and needed time apart. She's since been diagnosed with depression and I understand she may hate it as much as me and it's her depression speaking, but I'm giving up hope.
I've told my immediate family but need help telling my elderly grandparents. I'm visiting them this weekend and I don't want to upset them and I want to be sure I don't stress them out too much, cause they're in their upper 80s. I just don't know how to start the conversation. This may not be the right thread, but any help would be greatly appreciated | Need helping telling grandparents |
t3_1yoisa | relationships | Talk some sense into me. I'm [24F] "falling in love" with my best friend & ex [25M]. Broke up 3 years ago, still "date". | We were best friends for 2 years, then our monogamous relationship lasted 4 years. He cheated (one time betrayal) and confessed weeks later before dumping me.
We've never broken contact for more than a month, occasionally have sex and/or go on romantic dates, and spend the holidays together. He sleeps around (even had a short-term lover), while I haven't had much luck with that (sleeping around with people I don't know makes me uncomfortable and any other potential friend-lovers fell through quickly).
My situation in life is such that I can't afford to lose contact with the handful of people I can rely on, including him. This guy makes a disappointing long-term boyfriend, but a great friend.
So, for the last 2 months or so, I've been feeling something I can't deny. It's akin to falling in love, though I could be horribly confused. What ever the reality is, I need you strangers to talk some sense into me.
A real romantic relationship with this guy cannot be. It'd be a disaster. My head knows this through logic and experience. But everytime I tell myself that I only love him as a friend or that our privately sexual or romantic encounters are just momentary fillers... well, I feel like I'm lying to myself. | Best friend --> boyfriend --> ex --> best friend and occasional lover. It's been years. My heart now wants to officially be with him again, but my head still knows that's fucking stupid. |
t3_1ylsuv | relationships | [M 18] What exactly is the point in relationships? | Looking back, every relationship I've ever been in (mostly 1-2 months, one lasted a year) didn't seem to be worth it. Regardless of the amount of effort, time, and money I put into it, I received almost nothing in return from any girl I've been with. Instead, I get scolded and shunned for the most ridiculous reasons, I spend less time with my friends, and I endure all kinds of stuff I don't enjoy, just to make her happy.
Whenever I hung out with a girlfriend at the time we were in a relationship, it seems we either did something I could easily do with my friends (and have more fun with friends, too), cuddled (which is nice, but I can honestly live without), or flirted (which I do a lot as a single man anyways).
In the end of the relationship, I either lose an otherwise wonderful friend, or I get to know her too well and realize I want nothing to do with her. | What makes relationships worth the effort? |
t3_2vsa8i | tifu | TIFU by making a 30-year-old woman cry | Okay, so this happened when I worked for Microsoft. I got a job at MS a couple years back, and this incident happened just last week.
So I'm on the phone with this lady, let's call her Cathy. She calls tech support, and I get put on line to help her. She apparently can't turn on her computer, so I told her the power button was on the top-left corner of the PC. She told me again it wasn't working, so I told her that she needed to press it. She got mad at me for thinking she was dumb enough *not* to press the button, not that the computer wasn't working. So, I called in a friend/colleague (let's call him Albert) and we both got on the call. This is where I fucked up. I told him the story so far, but forgot to turn off my microphone. So when I told Albert the story, I may have exaggerated a bit. And then Albert called Cathy a bitch, which she apparently heard because after an inhuman squeal escaped the receiver, I figured that I forgot to press the mute button. And then she started bawling, saying that I would go to hell for calling her a bitch, even though I tried to explain that it was Albert. So, Albert now got me in trouble with my boss (let's call him Travis) after Cathy filed a complaint, and Travis now has me doing overtime to fix that mistake. | Got a tech support call from Cathy, forgot to mute the microphone, colleague dissed Cathy, I got in trouble. FML. |
t3_1ymafj | relationships | Can I contact my first love? F20 M20 | My first boyfriend in high school was my first and only love we had something really special. We ended it because we were young I wanted to explore new things.
He is now in a four year relationship and I have not seen him since graduation we are now two years into college. I have waited for him and his girlfriend to break up to ask to see him but it's been so long.
Is it inappropriate for me to contact him and ask to meet up as friends just once to catch up? I would love to see him but I'm not looking to get into a relationship I am not ready for one right now and we now live far apart. | my first love is now in a four year relationship. Is it inappropriate for me to contact him as friends to just catch up? |
t3_haqq1 | AskReddit | I have a squirrel stuck in my air vent of my office as I type this. How can I safely remove him without killing him / getting bit? | Backstory: We have some workers on the roof repairing the air conditioner. Apparently squirrels had been eating away at the air condition wires, and made a nest in the housing of the air unit on the roof. When the workers removed the housing, the squirrels ran through an open door on the roof into the office area.
Yesterday: I was sitting in my office with about 1 hour of work left, and a co-working runs into my office saying "I just saw a squirrel go into your office". The guy is known to be a prankster, so I brushed it off. Then the maintenance guy comes down and starts asking if anyone saw two squirrels run down the hall. I tell him my co-worker saw one go in my office, and he gets all Bill Murray in Caddy Shack about it and blows up the situation.
I had to get everything out of my office that I needed so he could confront the squirrel with a golf club. About 15 minutes of screaming and crashing in my office resulted in him scarring the squirrel into a corner of my air vents, where is remains stuck after almost 24 hours.
My boss wants to shoot it with the fire extinguisher to flash freeze him and pull him out, but I was wondering if there was a more humane way to go about this. REDDIT HELP! | A squirrel ran into my office and hid in the vents after our maintenance guy tried killing it with a golf club. Now I need a safe way to get him our or my boss is going to kill him. |
t3_3729yb | tifu | TIFU by snapping my big toe back with my hand | This happened last night and I thought it would be a good idea to post it up here. Long time lurker, Never posted much.
So I was bored, listening to some music, reading reddit at 12:30 or so at night and me decided "hey, what if you push your toe with your hand and get your toe to push towards your hand?
To sum it up
Hand: >>>>>>>>>
Let's^push^towards^each^other!
<<<<<<<<<:Big toe
Soon after starting this pointless fight between hand and toe, my toe gives out and goes loose. My hand snaps it backwards and I let out the fucking loudest shriek ever emitted. I spent a couple hours at the hospital, now I have a thing on my toe and it's borked. | My hand cracked my toe and I became a banshee |
t3_17g8wo | tifu | TIFU by belching in a customer's face | I had just finished my lunch break and had a large root beer with it. I was put at drive thru window. One of the first cars is smaller and has parked further away than they should from the window, so I have to lean on the ledge and stretch to reach them. I pressed my stomach up to the ledge to reach out the window to get her money. I strain and let out a sound of effort to reach the customer's hand, and immediately following that sound was an unexpected, wet belch. She is clearly repulsed as I stammer out multiple apologies. I go back in the window and wait awkwardly for her food to be ready, avoiding eye contact with her and listening to my coworkers killing themselves with laughter. I open the window again to hand it to her, more apologies flying out of my mouth. She glares and calls me a fucking disgusting pig, then speeds off. | Don't work a drive thru window after drinking a large pop. |
t3_gnlmy | relationship_advice | For those that make significantly more than your spouse, how did you handle money once married? | I'm in a four year relationship and marriage isn't too far away. We've talked about most of the big things (money, kids, staying at home, etc.) but I find myself still with questions, especially about how to handle money when married.
I'm 26, make ~$120k and I save/invest what I don't need. About $4800 goes into savings every month. I live off of about $20-25k a year with my only debt being student loans. I'd like to think I'm pretty good with my money. She's 26 and makes ~$40k. I should note that she is equally good with money. Not a big spender and doesn't do anything in excess.
I'm not against her having access to my accounts, right now I'm just uneasy about joining checking accounts. I'm just pretty comfortable with the patterns I'm in. I would like us to keep separate accounts and have a third that's joined where money goes in based on a percentage, liked I'd pay 75 percent of the bills and she pay 25. I realize we'd probably have to join accounts once having kids. I guess my anxiety comes from me growing up in a well-to-do family until divorce hit and money was a nightmare and my mom lost everything. I should clarify that I don't want bills or anything separate. *Her* debt would become *our* debt and vice versa.
The strange part is, she said she'd rather sign an agreement than have separate accounts. This confused me because as far as I'm aware, multiple accounts have no legal bearing where as a contract does. She's essentially saying she'd rather have no legal right to what I earn versus having different accounts, where she would have a right.
For those that have been uneasy about money going into marriage, how'd you resolve it or feel more comfortable about it? | I'm uneasy about joining checking accounts when married. |
t3_140xh9 | tifu | TIFU: Thanks to my idiocy, my computer can't tell an Ethernet cable from a steak and cheese sandwich. | TIFU by uninstalling a bunch of device controller software on my computer, thinking I was uninstalling some shitty USB controller drivers that I installed months ago to play Skyrim (with a USB Play Station controller). The actually hand held controller didn't work, and genius me decided "welp I better uninstall that software now, while I'm in the add/remove programs section of my computer."
TIL: RealTek brand USB controller != handheld play station computer controller.
Not only that, but I got the Ethernet controller driver too, so if I ever wanted to have some actually fast internet, it'd about as helpful as sticking an aforementioned cheesy steak sandwich into my Ethernet port. | I'm a fucking dumbass. |
t3_4twlfa | relationships | Me [32M] about to issue lowkey ultimatum to girlfriend [32F] of 9 years. | Hello. I wrote [too long a post] yesterday describing all the details which some lovely people replied to. It helped me think through the issue and I've decided I need to address the issue if my partner won't.
Basically, we have been very close for a long time. We decided to move city a few months ago. I've got us a new place and I'm currently staying there. My girlfriend decided not to quit her job the week I started my new one. We have a bit of a stand-off and she has went distant/mean on me. She has admitted she doesn't miss me as much during the week and wants to keep her job in the rural town we live(d) in.
She is meant to be moving in, but the past few weekends has just come over without anything. She is silent on when she's going to move or what she's actually going to do. She doesn't seem to know anything.
I'm about to call her to say I've decided that I only want her to come over this weekend if she actually wants to spend time with me. It's a small question, but I'm thinking her reaction and answer will give me the decision I need about our future so I can finally try to move on after months of hurt.
I don't know if I would be coming across as manipulative or needy? I like to think it's a fair question. Advice would be really welcome. | Agreed to move city with girlfriend, but she's hesitant and distant. I need to know what's happening. |
t3_1wplyr | Advice | Trouble with speech, my mind, everything. | I've been through some incidents (got out of the hospital recently, been in complete isolation ever since), and it's been about two months I haven't seen or talked to anyone since then (in person at least, but online it's rare as well). My folks took me to see a neurosurgeon for complications with my skull fractures from the aforementioned incident, and along the way there, during, and on the way back, whenever they tried to have a conversation with me I feel like I had to force myself to talk. I'm not saying I'm feeling pressured to talk to them, but I have to force the words to come out of my mouth. This trouble that I'm having has applied to every other situation since I got out of the hospital. I used to be a very vocal person and had no trouble speaking without stuttering or anything like that after my trip to the hospital, things just aren't the same.
a little background:
I was very involved with drugs and that combined with a motorcycle and freedom, I had made a very volatile cocktail of danger. Well, I ended up crashing into someone at nearly 60 with no protective gear, they were at a dead stop. When I woke up at the hospital, the girl who I thought cared about me told me that she wanted to distance herself. My license was suspended, and in my coma, I was withdrawn from school. So to say the least, things aren't going so well. I have very large scars on my face, so it pretty much solidifies the idea that I'm going to most certainly die alone.
My question is: Why is this whole forced speech thing happening? How can I make the struggle any less difficult? I'm very far from happiness, guys and girls.
If anyone needs me to elaborate anymore, please feel free.. This place is pretty much my home. | Forcing myself to talk, and I can't keep up with this struggle. |
t3_er4oy | relationship_advice | This Christmas Eve, my SO told me that she is pregnant, does not believe in abortion, but will get one if I really want. What do I say to her? | My girlfriend and I have been together only for a few months, but have dated off and on for a few years. We just recently got very serious, and things have and are going very well. We're on an I love you basis, but live 100 miles apart.
Recently she changed her birth control pills, and today I was told that she had a positive result on her pregnancy test (though it was a faint second line).
We're both very scared mostly because our relationship is so new, our families are slightly conservative and we're afraid of their reaction to having a baby out of wedlock.
I am 25, currently a full time software engineer, and graduated from college. She is 23, and currently in grad school.
I'd love for her to get the big A since it isn't the ideal time for either of us to have a child. I'm afraid if we have a child now, both her family and mine will be overly judgmental, and that she'll resent me in the future for delaying her graduate degree and career.
How do I best talk to her about getting an abortion, without sounding like i'm trying to escape responsibility? If she absolutely wants to keep the baby I will man up and do everything I can to be a good father, but it isn't ideal. Reddit, what do? | Short term gf is pregnant, but doesn't want an abortion. I want one. How do I talk to her about this without sounding like a jerk? |
t3_23cxey | relationships | Me and my friend (16F/M). Am I being cruel/leading him on? | I have this good friend, we'll call him Steve. I really like him. But for various reasons (namely that I'm not allowed to, but also because I'm somewhat busy with school, volunteering, scholarship essays, etc) I don't want us to go out. I've told him this. I've said I like him and would like to date if we were older (and not about to leave for college in the next year), but right now I just want to be friends. I've told him this multiple times, also that he should date whomever because I won't want to date for at least several years (this part was just something I told him, I don't have some hard and fast dating rule, besides 'not now.') (For the record, he did date someone after I said this, but they broke up like a week ago and he asked if I still just wanted to be friends.)
In retrospect, should I have lied about liking him? I don't wang to lead him on. I guess I am and I hate myself for that. But I didn't want to lie and pretend I don't like him. Sometimes we hug and hold hands, which I know is a relationship thing, but I really like it! Should I stop?
Am I being mean and cruel here? Should I pretend to not like him so that he isn't possibly holding onto some hope that I'll change my mind? I think I've communicated it but I think in the back of his mind he might be holding out for 'us' even though I've said not to. | Sometimes my friend and I hug and hold hands. We talk a lot and are close. |
t3_zdpq3 | relationship_advice | I [18/m] am in love with this girl (18/f), but she has a boyfriend. | I know some of you don't believe it's real or whatnot, but I can say that without a doubt, I have never cared so much for any human being like I care for this girl.
So here's the story:
Last year I met this girl in class and immediately had an infatuation with her. We became friends, but strictly platonic. I wanted to ask her out, but she just didn't see me as a boyfriend, more of a brother. So, come the fall dance, she was asked, and said yes. She's been with this guy for over a year now (junior into senior year) and the dance has come again. We lost touch a bit during the summer, but I have started talking to her more and more, now that we have a class together. She's still with the same boyfriend and she's going to the dance with him, and I just can't stand to see her with him. Literally whenever I even think about her I get the feeling that is easiest described as love. I no longer have an infatuation with her but now it has evolved into a very strong love. I use the term, love, very sparingly, because I try to be as detached from society as much as possible (I really hate where I live). I can't say I love anyone in my family, except for my grandfather, who is an amazing man. I just wanted to say that to explain that I do not say that I "love" very often at all. So back to this girl: I want her to be happy, but I want her to be happy while being with me. I am guessing she knows I like her, but I doubt she knows to such an extent. I don't want to be "that guy" to come in between her and her boyfriend but I really see no other option at this point. High school will be over soon and I will probably never see her again. I want to spend at least some of my life with this girl, but I have no idea what to do. Please help me reddit!
AMA. | I love this girl but she has a boyfriend. I want to be with her but I don't want to be "that guy" to break them up. |
t3_1nsdjz | loseit | 3 weeks in, and it seems like I'm plateauing...need help. | Hey r/loseit. First off, I love reading the posts here and this sub reddit is just awesome. Anyways to my problem...
I started my quest to lose weight around 3 and a half weeks ago. I was 240 pounds, and now I'm 215 (lost 25 pounds). I'm 5 feet, 10 inches and 22 years old. My goal is to lose another 30-35 pounds, to get to 180-185 (and around 15% body fat).
I changed my diet completely. Went from eating out a lot, to eating a lot of greens, protein, grilled chicken, tuna, etc. I kind of know what foods are good for me now. I also dropped all soda and juice and only drink water, green tea, and coffee now. I also joined a gym and since I started, have been going about 5 times a week. I have been told that to lose weight, cardio is what I should focus on. When I'm at the gym, I do 45-60 minutes of cardio. I will use the bike or the elliptical (mostly elliptical).
So 5 days ago, I weight myself at 215. Today, I am 216 (actually gained a pound). It was a really bad feeling when I saw that. I'm not sure why it looks like I'm not changing anymore. The first few weeks I was losing weight quickly and it seemed like everyday I was down a pound or two. Now for the last week almost, I haven't lost anything and it has been discouraging.
I am not going to stop, of course. But I want to know what I'm doing wrong. Should I continue doing the 45-60 minutes of cardio every time at the gym, or should I change my workout? Is there anything in my diet I should change?
A friend of mine said that after a while your body gets used to what you are doing. It expects you to do that hour of cardio and eat these healthy foods. He said you need to "shock" the body and change things. This didn't make much sense to me, but I'd like to hear what this more well informed community has to say. Thanks, and appreciate all kinds of help! | Started 3.5 weeks ago and went from 240-215. Have been at 215 for the last 5 days and haven't changed anything in my plan. Help needed. |
t3_204mdq | relationships | [Relationship] I (f23) can't seem to not get buthurt when bf (m23) of 3 years wants to fap. | Title explains it For the most part. Sense getting
pregnant 14 months ago; I have had no real sex drive,
we have had sex maybe 7 times.
When ever I start to get a bit frisky on mynown terms, it has been bad timing...
And now it really only seems like he wants it when he
gets drunk. So like tonight, our LO (we do cosleep, he
works nights so he is barely home anyways) is sleeping,
he has had a few drinks and gets frisky. I told him
multiple times I was not feeling good, so he just asks
for a hand job. When I say no, I don't feel up to that, he
then brings it up Multiple times, making me feel
worse... so now he just asked if I minded hin going and
fapping... I said no... and do I really want to mean it.
So please any insight on how to just let it happen and not get jealous... | how do you not get jealous when you know your SO is fapping. |
t3_32wuo7 | tifu | TIFU By being accidentally racist in Spanish. | I am an Englishman living in Spain trying my hardest to learn the language and "fit" into society.
I have been out on a few dates with Spanish girls, it's a fun way to learn the colloquial language being used in the city. Like most the people that have tried to learn a language, there is a lot of guessing involved which is what I usually have to do on these dates.
There is an expression a few people has said to me during conversing.
"Que mono" they say.
'Mono' for those that don't know is monkey in Spanish, so I assumed when in context of the conversation that they were saying that I am not very clever (que mono - *that's stupid*) or it was an expression of this extent.
Last night (the fuck up) I was out with some friends talking about work, parties, etc. A good friend said something funny about her misfortune in a bar to which I took the opportunity to use this expression.
"Estas mono"
Everybody laughed and agreed, I congratulated myself on correct usage of this phrase. A little while later, another friend (of slightly darker skinned origin) made another joke and I seized the opportunity again.
"Eres un mono" - *you're an idiot*
Everybody went silent and stared at me
Painful
Body piercing eyes from my friend
🙊
I couldn't help but laugh awkwardly. He asked why I called him a monkey? To which I explained the whole kaboos of my understanding of this expression.
Everybody laughed hysterically and explained:
Que mono - *that's CUTE*
Eres un mono - *you're a monkey*
So TIL mono is cute and I appear to be a little racist. | mono used in correct context is cute but also monkey in another. |
t3_2111t7 | Advice | I'm unhappy. He's unhappy. Now what? | My husband and I have been married almost a year.
He has changed. He seems more reserved and depressed now. I told him that I was worried about him, and asked what I could do to make him happier. He said nothing was wrong.
He hasn't been wanting to have sex/foreplay/anything. I told him that I missed it, and I tried changing it up to get him more interested. Little to no improvement.
I finally told him yesterday that I was lonely, I missed him, and that I have needs that he is not fufiling.
I am a high school teacher. I have really hot 18 year olds try to get with me regularly. I am not a complete idiot, so I know to shoot them down nicely, but I did tell my husband that it sickens me that I love the attention. I should be getting enough attention at home so that I dont crave other men's attention.
Speaking of which, this has been going on for about two months. I met a guy yesterday that I had been talking to online. I know, terrible. I just wanted to be touched again. I wanted someone to flirt with me, to talk to me. Well, we met up, made out, mutual masturbation, but no penetration. Is it cheating? I know I am emotionally... but physically?
Anyway. I don't want to throw away my marriage. I just want him to want me. I want sex, flirting, dating, fun. All with him would be great. I have tried to take us out, make date nights, even do things he enjoys but I hate (with a buyable smile, mind you), but he still pouts too damn much.
Any advice? | I miss my husband wanting me, what can I do to make him want me again? Is kissing/mm cheating? |
t3_1u6m1h | GetMotivated | Anybody with a good heart and basic photo-shop skills fancy helping me out with a quick backdrop? | Hey guys,
so I've made some pretty good progress over the past few months; and a lot of it is down to you guys and the positive force for awesomeness that you all are. But now I want to step it up and have a decent resolution that i can readily picture in my head. So i decided to quickly write it out- all high and mighty- and then set it as a desktop photo.
Except, I forgot I'm using a Chromebook, and it's some really weird os and I don't know if it's even possible to create a custom wallpaper, and whether or not you can only get downloaded backdrops from the internet.
Bummer. Anyway, I was going to quickly ask if anyone new of a way over on r/chromebooks, but then I thought it might be cool if some fellow get-motivated redditor fancied just smacking into on a backdrop instead. Do what you like with it, put it over a generic piece of inspiration, just have it as a scrawl in the corner, have it as a taylor-swift/hitler quote template, whatever. Just something fun, if you're bored for a minute or two. And I swear I'll set it.
Here's the resolution: Warning, it's pretty gay, but It's all true.
"I, Jack, on the 1st January at 21:44, 2014, hereby resolve to:
Make the effort to let more new people become new friends, and make more of an effort to keep in touch with my friends of old.
To spend my time well, and use it helping myself turn into the perfect version of me; a version I know I can become.
To eat well, sleep often, workout regularly, write incessantly, and be consciously aware of those traits to admonish and those to accept; until those worth accepting become my unintentioned habits" | It's cool if no-one picks up on this, it was kind of nice just to write it all out. |
t3_1hr2ug | relationships | I [20M] have confronted my father about cheating on my mom, how do we go on as a family | I have known my father has been using various escort services for about 3 years now, and I confronted him about his actions in December. He has been a mess ever since, crying to me on the phone about how ashamed he is and how he feels like a ruined man. He promised to talk to my mom and try to go to counseling, but neither has happened and it has been 6 months since I brought this issue out into the open. He constantly is asking me "what should I do?" to which I cannot provide an answer. I don't want anything to do with him, but I don't want to destroy my family because of how I feel. My mother and I depend on him almost entirely and he has been very influential in raising me to be the man I am, but I am sick of living in this emotional purgatory. Has anyone had any experience in a similar matter? Should I send my dad away/have him file for divorce? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. | What should my father do after being exposed for cheating on my mom for years? |
t3_3pt1j0 | relationships | Me [16 M] am in love with my friend [16 F] who also has a boyfriend.... | Okay so, I have this girl in my grade (11th) in which I am great friends with. Like we are pretty close. While being friends with her, I kinda started to fall for her. Like hard.
I am always going out of my way to do things for her and make her feel special. Like the other day, for her bday, I got her a Nike Windbreaker and Michael Kors earrings. Yeah...I love her that much. And I would do some other crazy things for her too, such as practically send her ALL the hw, or take pictures of tests for her. I am still falling for her.
But the problem is...as you can see by the title. She has a boyfriend. An "on and off" one, which has been like that since 7th grade. I want to tell her how I feel, and really want to go out with her. But you know if shes happy with her BF then should i just leave it? And by the way, I am very close to buying her a Michael Kors watch as a "second bday gift". Just because her smile was to die for on the first gift.
Anyways...any advice would be helpful | I am madly in love with a friend, who has a boyfriend. Do not know what to do |
t3_3ytlfh | relationships | Me [22 F] with my new friend/coworker [23F] 8 months, incredibly toxic towards everyone how to distance myself? | So I recently moved to a new state with my boyfriend for his job. Got a job working for a vet clinic. Very small office only one doctor and 3 techs. I got along great with mostly everyone in the beginning. Especially Kay she's a few months older than me and she was really nice and fun to be around.
Fast forward to about 6 months in and all of a sudden she's constantly complaining about everything. She's rude to costumers and other coworkers. Her attitude is just atrocious in general.
Recently she's been dating a few guys and I'm talking serial dating. Guys after guy no breaks in between. She's always asking for advice, my other coworker who is slightly older than us, her and I get along great. We try to give her advice as I've been in my relationship for 4 years and the other girl has been married for 10 years. Kay snapped. Like full on yelling and screaming that she wouldn't listen to us because we're in a happy relationship... Uh hello?!?
It's getting to the point where nobody wants to be around her. Work isn't any better as you ask her to do anything and she rolls her eyes and huffs and complains that she shouldn't have to. Customer are even complaining about her.
She says she's going to be my maid of honor butnsjen shoots down ALL of my ideas, she won't wear the color I want because she doesn't think its flattering on her and she just shoots down everything I have to say. I don't want her in my wedding party anymore.
Please help, I want to distance myself from her without her blowing up anymore and making work a living hell. | friend from work of 8months was super friendly in beginning and all of a sudden has become so negative and toxic, want to distance myself from her. |
t3_3y160g | tifu | TIFU by having a PlayStation that couldn't save data for years | So when I was a kid I received a | I became a hardcore badass at Crash Bandicoot because my |
t3_4nf1i3 | relationships | Do I (22M) owe it to my girlfriend (24F) to tell her that I've been struggling with porn? | So she and I met almost a year ago and when we had met, I had managed to not look at porn for about a month (yeehaw!) well fast forward 7 months, I started looking again. I felt awful and I've been trying really hard not to look. When we first started dating I was very open with her about it but as things have progressed she told me that she would be "so hurt" if I looked at porn and she almost left me when I told her that I had looked at other women. So now I am in this bind where I don't want to tell her for fear of her leaving me, but at the same time I don't want to be with someone who isn't supportive and appreciative of their partner being honest with them. One of my friends told me that I don't owe it to her to tell her about this stuff, that I should lean on my male friends but it kills me to think that I can't be honest with someone for the sake of preserving a relationship. Do I tell her, or just keep it to myself? | should I tell my girlfriend that I struggle with porn? |
t3_4xb20a | relationships | I think my [13m] mom [46f] has been hiding a divorce from me | Hi, /r/relationships, as the title says, I think my mother has been hiding a divorce from me.
What sparked this all was a conversation my mom and grandmother were having earlier today. They were talking about a picture, and while trying to figure out what year it was taken in, my grandmother mentioned a divorce. I was puzzled by this, but decided to keep quiet.
I did some digging, and I did a simple google search on her. I eventually was led to whitepages.com, where it came up with people who had a last name I did not recognize as family members.
I googled the one who appeared to be male, and my mother came up beside his name on almost every result..
How should I confront her about this? I want to know the truth, but am I just paranoid? | i think my mom is hiding a marriage prior to my father from me |
t3_26zs7c | relationships | [Question] Can someone help me grasp the concept of ''I just don't feel that way about you'' without them giving a reason? (♂24+♂24) | I was / am crushing on one of my best friends (we're both gay males) and after 8 months I finally had him tell me ''there will never be an us.'' The best metaphor he could give me was ''it's not that you are not good enough for me, it's just that some people prefer the taste of different foods. That does not mean that they are bad though.''
Though it may be really fucking stupid for me to think that if I could just get him to tell me what is unappealing about me (heh, I am pretty sure I know what it is) that I could work on changing it and maybe within a year if he is single, I am single, maybe we could be something. It's proving to be very hard for me to break this thought pattern. We have not talked in a few days and I still think about him every waking second.
Logically I understand it. He's not into me like I am into him but emotionally I just can't grasp / don't want to accept that I have 0% chance at anything other than a friendship with me. I'm trying to work through those feelings but as soon as I think about it I just break down and cry.
I was just wondering if someone could maybe take a different approach at explaining it so maybe it can click in my mind that we truly will never be anything other than best friends. :/
Thank you for your time. <3 | Help explain ''I just don't feel that way about you'' in a different way so I can emotionally grasp it. |
t3_zu5m4 | AskReddit | What material is this toy frog made out of? It's melted a hole in my TV! | Hey, Reddit. I used to work in a crappy carnival-like place that had a game called "Frog Bog" where you take a hammer and catapult these frogs into moving lily pads. When they decided to get rid of the game, I took one for myself.
**PICS**:
When I first got it, i remember it being moist for at least a couple of months (it was a water game, and they were always drenched). I would keep it in a paper towel for days at a time until I decided to change it out.
After it dried out, I'd leave it on wood surfaces, it would just leave a frog shaped stain on there that's easy to clean off.
But for the past 10 months, I've left it on top of my TV and I've noticed some plastic buildup around the edges of the frog, like usual, but after trying harder than usual to remove it, I uncover this hole! | Got a frog from a carnie game, placed it atop old TV for nearly a year, plastic of TV has melted and left a hole. |
t3_467ebp | loseit | I'm confused about tracking macros... | Hi all!
I've recently been reading about tracking micronutrients as a way to fuel your body properly and was trying it on MFP but I'm confused.
If I understand correctly, in addition to tracking calories, I also need to watch the type of food (protein/carb/fat), right? This whole thing started when I realized I wasn't getting enough protein.
So, based on research for weight loss, it was saying a good ratio was 40% carbs 35% protein 25% fat.
This morning I ate what I thought was a good meal (calorie wise): two scrambled eggs, some sautéed veggies, 100g of smoked salmon.
But it now says that I went way over on the G of fat?
MFP is logging it as: 43g of protein/14g C/26 g F
What does this mean for the rest of my meal planning? Does anyone have tips? Am I over complicating things? Are these good fats?
Help? | I don't know anything anymore... |
t3_1qqeew | self | i feel really bad for my mother | I feel really bad for my mom lately. In the past year her mother(my grandmother who i love very much passed away) and three months later her uncle who we love too died. Those passings really affected her, she really misses them, as do i, she doesnt have many friends except for her cousins and coworkers, all she really does is go to work, and even when she has days off she works around the house. shes never really relaxed. she says all she really cares about is her kids which is kinda true. and now that we are getting older and spending less and less time with her (i dont know what she will do when we move out) im starting to feel really bad for her. she is never very sad shes always in an ok mood or happy, but idk why, her life seems pretty dull to me. What can i do (or get her) to give my mother a happy life? | my mom has nothing much in her life( its dull and a little depressing) and i want to make her happy in life. what can i do? |
t3_x70fp | AskReddit | Please, someone explain this to me. | I haven't been on reddit very long, so I am unsure of its origins. Could someone please explain to me how this "Le me, and Das me" got started in posts? I wouldn't mind if they were using the terms correctly, as Das is neutral in gender, and I happen to not know anyone who is without some gender. I have even offered proper titles of Der, and Die as correct gender alternatives. As for the Le phrase, they are seriously just saying, the self. Who talks like that? La moi, actually means ME. So, I ask you, reddit. WHY? | WTF is with this Das and Le? |
t3_eesca | Cooking | How to get good at cooking? | Hear's the deal, I want to get good at cooking. I cook quite a bit as it is, I by no means go hungry. But other than cooking plain chicken, searing a steak, or boiling some rice or pasta, I don't really know how to make a delicious meal. Things like knowing what spices go well with other spices or certain meats evade me. So how do I go about learning these things? I don't just want recipes, I want to fundamentally understand how to cook better. How would I go about doing that, or better yet, how did you? | I want to learn how to cook fundamentally better. How do I do that? |
t3_h1age | AskReddit | How does one treat an infected nose piercing? | And yes, I did Google it, but I wasn't able to find a definitive answer on treatment as much as prevention. I did notice they suggested antiseptic ointment, but I'm not sure what that is or if I'm allergic to it. Yes, I will be calling my mother to see if I am allergic to it or not in the morning. I've never had an infection I didn't know how to deal with before, but since I kind of have to keep this bit of metal in my nose (no way is it coming out, I paid too much and got too much crap from my parents about it) I don't know how that changes things.
So how should I treat this? It didn't get bad at all until today. Yes, there is drainage. Yes, it is swollen. Yes, it is tender. I've been cleaning it with the sea salt water like I was told after I got it pierced, but what else can I do to help it along? I'm allergic to ALL topical antibiotics (such as Neosporin and whatnot) so those are out of the question, though I'm not even sure they'd be what I need anyways.
Things that I've tried for other infections have been hot compresses and cleaning it with peroxide. Would you suggest either of those? | I'm allergic to some medicines normally used to treat infections, but my nose is infected and I want to take care of it as best I can. |
t3_1e1ae2 | dating_advice | Clichéd question, but I have to ask. 16m entranced by 16f. | Yet another run-of-the-mill advice request, but I'd really appreciate some help. Within the past couple months, I've found myself quite taken by a good friend of mine. In the past week, however, I've realized I might actually have a chance.
First of all, I never would have expected to be in this situation. She is pretty much unanimously agreed to be the most beautiful girl anyone knows. In addition, she is one of the nicest people I've ever met. I can't think of anyone else I know who is as much fun to be around, either.
I never thought I had a chance with someone like her.
That's changed. I actually feel like things could work out. We've been spending more time together, and she's always quick to initiate conversation in class (not that I'm not eager too). She laughs at all of the stupid jokes I make, and we always have a lot of fun.
On the other hand, she got out of a relationship a few months ago, and I think she only recently got over it (it was short, but she was hurt). I've also been keeping in mind that she is outgoing with everyone, so the way she acts with me might not be particularly significant.
I've never been in a relationship before, so I really don't know what I'm doing. I've liked girls before, and girls have liked me, but it's never been mutual. | I like an awesome girl who may also be interested in me. How should I act from here? |
t3_398jus | relationships | I [24 male] am falling for a girl [27 f] I met last week who is "crazy". I know these girls are not good for me but I can't help falling for them! | I'm typing this on my phone so please bare with any spelling issues.
So the typical reddit motto is "don't stick your dick in crazy" however I can't seem to help it. I hate to describe someone as crazy but she uses that term to to describe herself and has some pretty glaring red flags. For one she does drugs (coke) and I'm about a year sober (thus the username). She has low self esteem. I met her at last call at a bar for example! She cried for a little bit that night then latched onto me and has been texting me like crazy. Lots of photos too. When I say "falling for" I am ushually kind of emotionally distant about sex. I am actually feeling feelings for this girl and it's scaring me.
I grew up in an abusive household and I wonder if this is just what feels comfortable for me? The chaos. I just feel like I have to fake being "normal" when I date girls who have their shit more together. I've been on the dating scene for like six months after a long relationship and haven't met anyone special. This girl has been on my mind a lot and she is also sending me a lot of texts that make it sound like she is equally interested. Oh and she has a kid as well, which is something that is kinda crazy for me. I've been really careful to avoid having children until I get a better job and find the right person so it's a little scary. What the hell do I do? Dump her even though I want her? Is this how girls who go for the "bad boy" feel? Ahhhh what's happening to me?! | I'm sticking my Dick in crazy and actually like her. Can someone shake some sense into me or does the heart just want what it wants? |
t3_39uebd | relationships | [17M] Been together with my girlfriend (17F) for over a year. Yesterday I made out with someone at a party that I had a thing with a couple of years back. Help! | I'm a 17 year old male, and I've been in a serious relationship with my 17 year old girlfriend for almost 1.5 years.
Before me and her got together, I had a thing going on with a girl I had known for years. We had always been in love with each other, but we never managed to admit it to each other before our ways went different ways. I thought these feelings were gone, but yesterday things changed.
I went to a friends party, and I surprisingly met her there. We got drunk, and talked. We talked about how much we actually liked each other. She started talking about how she would have screamed and cried if I had died, and this all caught me by a surprise. We went down to a room to continue our talk, since we were disrupted when we talked upstairs with other people among us. We then made out, it wasn't for long, but I can't stop thinking about it - it didn't feel bad, and that's the part that's freaking me out.
We've been in a lot of contact today, and we're meeting up in one of the nearest days to sort things up, to get things straight. She's dating another guy too, so me and her really have to get an end to this. We have both told each other that the kiss didn't feel bad, but that it felt good, that we've been waiting for it for years.
I have still not told my girlfriend about this. I have no idea what to do. I'm still young and inexperienced when it comes to love, and I know that I messed up. | I made out with another girl from my past, and I haven't told my girlfriend. It didn't feel all that bad. |
t3_17exl0 | AskReddit | Reddit, what thoughts did you have when you were a little kid, that seemed perfect, but ended up making a measly amount sense? | I'll give you some information.. When I was a little kid I really wanted school to be canceled or shut down for a while, because I would see it happen on t.v and the kids on the t.v were so happy because of it. So I wanted to devise an expert plan on how to get the school to shut down.. My plan was to get the school shut down by using up all of their water so they'd have to move to another location which would take up a quite a bit a time. How I tried to make this plan work; Every time I asked to go to the bathroom I would turn the knobs all the way on full blast and leave them like that. I would also flush the toilets a couple of times while I went. The best attempt at my fool-proof plan was every time during lunch break, I would hold down the drinking fountain button. (Yes, all twenty minutes of it) Just hoping that this would eventually use up all of the water. I did this for a good month or so everyday hoping it would work. It didn't, sadly.. So, Reddit, what fool-proof plans did you all have when you were younger, that weren't so fool-proof after all? | I tried using up all of my schools water in high hopes that we could get some time off. |
t3_1mt0gb | relationships | My [24/F] boyfriend [23/M] regularly likes pictures of another girl on Instagram. Am I overreacting? | My boyfriend and I haven't been dating for very long but we've known each other for about three years.
He's known "Emily" for about two years now. They used to work together and she recently went on a date with very close friend of his a few weeks ago.
My boyfriend doesn't spend a lot of time on social media, but he does have a Facebook and Instagram- Facebook he posts on once a month, Instagram he'll add a picture every week and a half/two weeks.
Emily is a very pretty girl, and many people like her posts. My issue is that my boyfriend usually likes one out of every three of the pictures that she posts- it can be anything really, but if it's a selfie of her, he *definitely* likes it...but he rarely likes any of my photos.
I've read through some previous "my boyfriend likes pictures of girls on Facebook," and none of them are really the same. He's not commenting on them and telling her things that are inappropriate, and Instagram only requires you to double tap a picture twice in order to like it, so there's not much effort involved. I just feel insecure because he never likes any of my pictures, and I feel a little disrespected due to the content and vast number of her pictures that he's liked.
My question is: am I overreacting? I know that if my boyfriend was interested in her that he would just pursue her, but instead he chose me. He's just not overly vocal about his feelings for me and the fact that he likes all of her pictures and none of mine just feeds my preexisting insecurity. I know I can't honestly bring this up because it's *Instagram* and would probably just be a pointless argument. What can I do? | my boyfriend likes pictures of another girl on Instagram all the time, but never of me. It makes me uncomfortable, but he never comments on them or says anything inappropriate. Am I overreacting? |
t3_y0lxx | relationships | Want to be together but want to find ourselves too [20F] and [20M] | So me and my ex[20M] have been together for 5.5yrs. He's been thinking that in order to find out what he likes to do without me there makes him happy. We used to do everything together and he never complained once. This came out of no where. I asked if he still wanted to be with me and if he still cared about me, he said yes but he feels like he needs to do this for himself. I don't disagree with the fact that we should find out what else is out there in the world that makes us happy other than being together, but I don't see why we can't be together while figuring out who we are along the way. He says he feels like we have two roads to take: marriage or break up, I don't see that. I just want to be with someone who makes me extremely happy and feel loved while finding myself and him finding himself. After hearing him say that, we talked how we're both not ready for the marriage commitment but still love each other and want to continue this. But he doesn't think we can be together and find ourselves at the same time. What do you think? | He wants to find what makes him happy outside of our 5.5yr relationship but still wants to be with me, just feels like he needs to leave for himself. Thoughts? |
t3_4p1q0y | relationships | Me 28f with my bf (29m) 4 years, I love him and want to marry him, but I don't know if I can live with his little eating habits. | Listen, I love him a lot. These issues are 100% not his problem or doing. They're mine. My annoyances, my "I get super aggravated about it" things. But how do I get OVER them and get THROUGH them and stop letting myself get snippy or annoyed at him.
He makes so much noise when he eats. I'm talking I can hear him sipping from another room, I can hear him chewing and it always sounds like he doesn't have a lot of saliva in his mouth, or he's super dry mouthed so the saliva is thick and loud.
He wipes his hands on his clothes. We don't eat at the table, we usually sit at the couch side by side with food and watch tv or do whatever. He wipes his hands on the couch.
Being able to hear him eat makes me so angry and annoyed. Sometimes I get up and set my meal down and walk away and do dishes or whatever else for a while as he eats so I can get away from it.
But I don't get it because all of his other little habits are things I love about him or things that don't bother me. He talks in his sleep and it doesn't bother me, he toots a lot, burps, etc.
We've talked about marriage and are on the same page about it, but this is over my head. And I have told him about hearing him eating bothering me and it makes him sad because he can't really control it or anything. He'll try to eat more quietly, but that just makes it worse!
I hate being annoyed by this stuff, but don't know how to stop. How can I do this? | I love my boyfriend and we are going to get married, but I don't know how to deal with these little habits of his. How can I make this happen? I really love him, I just can't stand to hear him eat! |
t3_2kg4yj | relationships | I [25 M] want to break up with my girlfriend [25] of one year. I'm not happy with the relationship anymore and she still loves me very much. | The relationship started off really strong but in the last two months everything including sex feels like a chore. In the 11 months we've been together our differences have become very obvious and we are two very different people. I'm not happy anymore and she knows something is up.
The big problem stopping me from telling her is she still loves me a lot and says it all the time and it's going to break her heart if I leave her. She really is a nice girl but she is not someone who I want to be in a relationship with. | want to break up with girlfriend who still really loves me a lot. Having trouble doing it. |
t3_3ta1wi | legaladvice | Tips for a character reference letter for sentencing (ON, Canada) | My brother's friend, Craig (26M), has asked me to write him a character reference letter to "help him get off charges" so that he can join the military. Despite all my Googling, I don't have any idea what I should include to help him.
Basically, what happened was that he was at a tractor pull (we live in the Texas of Canada) and was talking with a black friend (Craig is white) when some douche nearby started yelling racial slurs. Craig decided the best way to handle this was a physical altercation. They fought, and after the fight was broken up, Craig was tackled to the ground and beaten by some passing police officers. I have no idea what happened to the racist. The officers kept yelling for Craig to stop resisting. They cuffed him and put him into the police car. When he asked what he was being arrested for, an officer told him, "You don't need to know."
At this point, I'm not sure what charges exactly were brought against him--I've sent him a facebook message asking, but he hasn't gotten back to me yet.
I've known Craig since I was about 5 (20+ years), and while he's kind of a moron, he's not a bad guy, or a trouble maker, really. He's just not very intelligent or well-educated. I think the structure the military would offer him would be a huge benefit to him.
Can anyone give me tips on what to write in his reference letter? | what do I include in a character reference letter for sentencing? |
t3_x7rkg | AskReddit | Alright Reddit, I want your opinions on declawing my new kitten | I just got a 10 month old kitten, and I'm about to move in to an apartment. I have the means to take care of her and am so excited about the new addition to my life, but I don't know what to do about her claws situation.
She's not very good at putting her claws in, even when she's doing things as simple as walking around. She tends to leave them out. She has multiple scratch boxes and while she will scratch on them like a good girl, that doesn't stop her from scratching on the furniture 10 minutes later. I reward her when she scratches in the correct places and discipline her when she doesn't.
My question is what are your opinions on declawing kitties? Reddit loves cats and I want to hear from both sides. I have read up with many articles and I see why many consider it terrible, how much of their toe you're actually removing. I realize this is actual surgery. I am not taking it lightly.
However, I am renting a furnished apartment and don't want to rack up tons of money in fees I have to pay when she inevitably destroys furniture from her lack of claw control.
I am just looking for opinions. | 10 month old kitten, trying to decide if declaw is right for me. |
t3_4snya6 | relationships | My Mother [48F] wants to be in charge of all my [18M] expenses and bank accounts. | So I just entered university. I'd really like to be independent but my mother is making it very hard for me to do that. She has always been pretty overprotective, and she wanted me to stay at home and commute to school. I finally managed to get her to realize that I would be moving into the dorms there.
Now, she wants full control over my bank account. I receive money monthly from my father and from work study jobs. She thinks since we are not well off, that we should be pooling our money together and that I should be getting small allowances of 100$ a month to spend at college.
I find this a little unfair and as an adult, would like independence and control over my own bank account. How can I explain this to her? When I tell her this she says that I will likely spend the money on video games and gambling and that I will be broke. | My mom wants control over my bank account for the reason that I will be irresponsible about my spending; I want independence and freedom over my own account |
t3_2qczod | offmychest | I can't stand my friend at times | I know this guy. We're good friends and have been for the last two years through CCF (a form of cadets in the UK) and he's really funny. But he's also arrogant, constantly monopolises conversations or taking a joke too far. Worse, he met a girl at a party and has said to me (while drunk) that he hates her and while drunk two days ago he broke up with her because she hadn't sent him 'any pictures' which he'd assumed she would send. They weren't good for each other, but the next day he pinned the blame on other people at the party and made it out to her that he did like her etc, etc.
I can't stand how manipulative that is - he plays her like a fiddle and it gets on my nerves how bad they are for each other and how arrogant he is too. | I really like my friend but he manipulates his gf, sometimes bullies others and is quite arrogant (though I think to feeling insecure at times). |
t3_3gfewm | Advice | I'm in too deep with my best friend/fuck buddy PRACTICAL advice wanted please | My two best friends from college (let's call them Jane and Oliver) were a couple and we continued our friendship post-college as we lived in the same city. I always knew Jane was a little manipulative and could get a little irrational, but two years ago she completely lost her shit and showed her true colors. She moved to a new city, broke up with Oliver after a long string of bad behaviors and ended our friendship when she perceived that I was spending too much time with Oliver (this is after she begged me to "take care of him" when she moved).
Oliver and I were pretty messed up from losing someone we both relied on so much in such a dramatic way. We quickly and predictably (read:foolishly) sought comfort in one another. In hindsight I would tell him what a bad idea hooking up would be, but the sex was so good initially and I was smitten. I mean, we were friends for that long for good reason.
Now it's two years later; we're still extremely close friends and occasional fuck buddies. I've been in love with him for a while, but I know that he doesn't return my feelings. I am reluctant to talk to him about it because I know it would change everything and I feel pathetically reliant on him and the intimacy I've found in our relationship, even if it's not everything I would want.
I also have the great misfortune of having to deal with the combination of being painfully self-conscious on top of having a high sex drive and a need for physical human interaction. Therefore, I don't want the occasional sex to end either as I don't have any other prospects (likely due to the fact that I am obsessing about him so often... do you see my problem here?).
I'd really appreciate some realistic advice! (cutting off ties with him would not be emotionally realistic for me right now) | I am in (unrequited) love with my long time friend and fuck buddy of two years and don't know what do to. It hurts. |
t3_4lfsfy | relationships | I [21F] have never been in a relationship or even kissed a guy | As the title suggest, I'm in my third year of university and my experience with men has been limited to only friendship. I have never even had a 'fling' per se with a guy.
I am the only one in my entire friendship group who is in this position and i can't help but feeling like there is something really wrong or unpalatable about me.
A lot of my people don't believe me when i tell them this and say that there must have been interested guys that I have never picked up on, but I'm quite certain there hasn't been. No one has ever outright told me they liked me or anything to that effect.
This shows no signs of changing and i'm really worried that i'm going to lead a lonely life. People always joke about it but it actually really scares me. | Has anyone had experience with this situation and have any promising/encouraging stories to share of finding the right person? I'm so happy that all my friends are in relationships, but I can't help but feel really lonely and unfulfilled! |
t3_1pxs0i | relationships | My gf[18f] of one month, is telling me [22m] about guys that try to get with her/text her | I have been bf/gf with this girl for about a month and she has mentioned guys that try to text her/get with her on occasion. Usually I would just blow it off and tease her about it. She would usually just act like she didnt want them, but tonight really bothered me...
As a bit of background, I have made it absolutely clear that we must communicate and make sure we are on the same page. I am not down to play little mind games, but maybe i didnt make myself clear
She mentions of another guy she met briefly from before that is currently trying to get with her and how he commented on her instagram to text her. She said that they texted and that he called her gorgeous and all that stuff to try and get with her. When I did my routine tease about it and just kind of blow it off, she also did her routine "didn't want any part of him" response.
This is where this situation bothered me....After I was hanging out with her I went back to check her instagram for the comment, and the guys comment was deleted, but her comment was still there which said, "Haha ill text you:)"
I dont know why but this just really bothers me and I dont want to playing these dumb jealousy games with her. Should I just straight up call her out on it? Or am I overeacting to nothing?
We have known each other for about a month and a half and have been bf/gf for about a month. | Girl keeps telling me about guys trying to get with her, i usually blow it off, but this one is bothering me even more now. what do i do? |
t3_4z2n9v | relationship_advice | F (46) trying to deal with ex-friends for the sake of my kids (F, 10-16) and my own peace of mind | I just joined Reddit, never posted before. This problem is really giving me a lot of anxiety. Trying to make a long story short and trying to mask identities. Returning to a town after a year sabbatical. Had a major falling out with a group of families before leaving, but my kids are still friends with some of those kids. How do I deal with the parents? These adults were friends, but I watched as they actively mistreated me and my husband and/or did nothing as the mistreatment snowballed. A year passed and we did our best to have our kids' relationships unaffected. Luckily, after that stressful year, we had a long-planned sabbatical and had time away from the situation but now we have to return. We will not participate in the group where we originally met these people, but we will see them on occasion. How do I deal socially with people I hate? I will probably see them around town, or worse, at parties given by mutual friends, and I'm breaking out in a sweat just thinking about it. | How do I deal socially with people I hate? |
t3_22py3c | relationships | Me [24F] and my bf [25 M] of 3 1/2years are constantly fighting over his weed addicition ,am I overreacting? Please help! | I'm not 100% if this is where to get help, I tried asking r/leaves, but not much luck. So here it goes:
I'm having an issue with my bf smoking weed; I would say he is addicted to it. Coming from a dad who had drug and alcohol problems, I usually can figure it out if someone has a problem.
Now I'm not against weed, I don't do it though, I tried it once and it just wasn't for me. And I don't have anything against him smoking it once and a while - if he's hanging out with friends or just super bored. *he works the night shift, so often he'll be up all night with no one to hang out with/talk to*
I have an issue with it when he does it when I'm around or we're going out. He's said he needs it so he doesn't get stressed or get anxious; so it's hurtful that he would need to when we're hanging out. To me it's saying "hanging out with you is stressful, so I need to be high for this". *he claims it's not like that, but it looks a lot like that*
This is really the main thing we fight about, we've been having this fight for years at this point - he'll try to quit for me, but it doesn't work because he doesn't want to quit really. * Everything else in our relationship is pretty great though - aside from this issue. *
I don't know what to do, lately I've thought about leaving him because this is so stressful and hurtful, he can't seem to understand why I'm so hurt because he's "not doing anything to me". It's gotten the the point where I'm afraid to bring it up because he'll get defensive and we'll end up fighting with no results.
Am I being a prude? Or does he actually have a problem?
I'm at my wits end, I have no idea how to face this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | Bf is addicted to weed, he says it's not my problem and doesn't understand how its hurtful to me. How should I face this issue? |
t3_2c5rqu | relationships | I (16f) have been off and on with (18m) for three years and I think its over. | We met just after I had a really bad break up. We talked for awhile, but didn't spend much time together and never really dated. We have been friends for the past few years but talk off and on. Recently we've been spending a lot of time together. I thought that we were going to date for real this time.
The last time I saw him, we had a fight. We both use different sorts of drugs and neither one of us wants the other to use. (Makes sense right?) Anyway, since that night he hasnt talked to me much. He demands everything is okay.
I don't even know if I want to be with him at this point. I have feelings for him, but im not sure theyre as strong as they used to be. Im not sure if I should try to fix things or move on.. he doesnt seem to be making an effort. | I've been off and on with a guy for three years and I think its over. |
t3_25owsg | relationship_advice | Half-sister lost her daughter after giving birth to her. Need advice. | So my older half-sister had recently lost her daughter , right after giving birth. We live quite far apart and I don't get to see her often, I had given her a call the day after it happened and comforted her with supportive words. Her voice sounded cracked on the phone. I'm gonna go and visit her this Sunday and I'd really like some advice on what I can do to somewhat maybe ease a bit of the pain.
Besides comforting her and providing moral support, should I make a gesture like buying flowers or something to that effect? Really confused and really not sure how to handle this situation. Worried, I might make the wrong move and make things worse, would really appreciate some help on this. | Half sister lost her daughter right after birth, visiting her this Sunday, need advice on what I can do to maybe lift an inch off the pain. Unsure on how to handle this situation. |
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