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t3_gc7j3 | AskReddit | Reddit, are we being negligent? [story inside] | Throwaway.
One of my close friends has a cousin who is 17 years old who has been dating person much older than her for some time. Presently, her boyfriend is 24 years old, and they have been dating for almost a year.
**Backstory**: the older guy has worked at the mall for a long time in a store frequented by the high schooler. They meet, hit it off, and hung out among mutual friends. Over time the friendship became more serious, and ultimately, more troubling to the family of the high schooler, but no one has stepped up and said anything.
I've become more worried recently after learning more about the older boyfriend's history. He apparently had a roommate a few years ago (when he and his roommate were about 20) who also was dating a high schooler. At that point that high schooler's parents reported the older boy to the authorities and he is now a on the sex offender registry for that state. Thus, I'm a bit concerned that, even though the older bf has witnessed this, he has no problem dating a high schooler.
The troubling part for the people around this situation is whether or not to act legally. The age of majority in this particular state is 19 years old, and so the high schooler is technically not an adult until after that date. The relationship between the high schooler and her mother is already strained by this situation, and so she doesn't want to act.
We have no idea whether they have sex, but have no real reason to believe that they haven't. **Are we (the friends and family around this situation) being negligent by not reporting this activity to the authorities? | A 17 year old girl is dating a 24 year old, and I'm wondering if the friends and family around this situation are being negligent in not reporting it to the authorities. |
t3_3k4iem | legaladvice | Bought a used projector from previous tenant of home, it broke today. | Backstory:
I moved into my new house on July 24th and the previous tenant had a whole home entertainment system set up that my roommate and I purchased from him. It came with a projector, projector screen, and surround sound for $700, so it was a pretty good deal. Or so we thought. Today the projector made a popping sound and turned off. We were pretty peeved and assumed the lamp just needed to be replaced, so we ordered a new one. The lamp is still on its way and is expected to arrive Thursday, but from everything that I've researched, even if the lamp is broken on this projector it will still show the led lights on the control panel and on the "replace lamp" light. There are no lights on at all and no sound coming from the projector. We unmounted it from the ceiling and took the lamp out to look at it and it looks to be in pristine condition making us curious that the lamp itself is fine, and the power supply failed or the unit overheated. We are also allowing the previous tenant to store some of the stuff he didn't have time to move out in our attic and shed that he said he'll be back for in the winter.
My question:
What are we entitled to in terms of replacement of the projector from the previous tenant since we have only had it for about a month? | My roommate and I bought a used projector, it broke about a month later, we're still in contact with the seller, what do we do? |
t3_1nmgp0 | dating_advice | (19m) Asked to Karaoke @ Bar with (21+f) | There is a girl in one of my classes that I have been consistently trying to meet up and hang out with. At parties we have hung out a couple times and we have a lot in common.
Today in class she was singing a classic rock song and I finished the lyrics. She was surprised I knew them.
My campus has a bar nearby that has karaoke Thursday nights. I don't think that they allow people under 21 in. She invited me out to there to sing karaoke with her. How do I deflect this situation and still maintain credibility with her? | asked to bar by girl, can't get in, how do i gracefully tell her i can't? |
t3_1zo39h | loseit | Getting married in 2 months. I need your help r/loseit | Hi loseit. I really need your help. I'm a 26F getting married in 2 months and I can't seem to lose the weight I wanted to lose for the wedding. It's starting to drive me crazy.
I am 5'2'' and weigh 141. I thought for my height I should be around 115-120 and was really trying to get at least around 130-125 by the wedding, if not better. NOTHING IS WORKING!!!
Since around November 2013, I have been going to the gym around 2-3 times a week doing mainly cardio and doing Barry's boot camp at home on days I don't go to the gym. I have even done some p90x with my fiance a few times.
I have completely changed my diet and have been eating much smaller portions and gotten much healthier. A lot more salads, vegetables, etc. I have even looked up and done a few of these 3 day diets that i found online.
Nothing is working. I have gone from 145 at the start of November to 141 today. I use to eat w/e i wanted and would always stay around the 140 mark. Since the holidays my life has completely changed when it comes to what I'm eating and how much i have been working out. But for what. After losing only 4 pounds in 4 months, its a little upsetting and frustrating because i truly feel i should weigh much less then this. It's upsetting to know that i went from eating whatever i want, to being miserable watching everything i eat all day every day for no reason.
I'm considering Jenny Craig and even considering getting these crave cutting shots someone i know is getting. My Fiance doesn't want me to take any of these things because he says it's not natural. That with diet and exercise i should be fine. But I'm not.
I'm miserable, tired, upset, and only have 2 more months before my wedding. What am i doing wrong??? | Been working out and eating healthy for 4 months only to lose 4 pounds. Wedding is in 2 months. Need help!! |
t3_2jr4i8 | relationship_advice | [20/M] My girlfriend (21/F) has a controlling mother and family. It drives me nuts! | So my girlfriend of a few months (we've been on again off again for the last year due to the below problem) has a really overcontrolling mother and family in general. We are both at college, but she lives at home while I live on my own. Her family doesn't know we are dating. Her mother forces her to work in her nail salon every weekend for essentially no pay, plus my girlfriend has another job. She yells at her for going out (though she has a 4.0 GPA), for being fat (she isn't), for being a bad daughter, dissapointment to the family, etc.
Honestly, it bugs me to no end. I usually try not think about it, but recently my girlfriend mentioned that she can't keep staying the night. She usually would stay over one night a week, or maybe one night every week and a bit. She said she has to do this to appease her mother who hates that she spends the night out of the house (for reference, I have a female housemate who my girlfriend says she is staying with instead of me).
I feel selfish for this bugging me so much that she won't be staying the night really anymore (she's says not really until December or next year). Am I being too selfish? Is this really a big problem in our relationship? Should it be? Should this make me want to breakup with her? | Girlfriend is appeasing her abusive (emotionally) mom and parents by not spending the night at my house. This really bugs me. Makes me kind a want to break up with her. |
t3_1evmt6 | relationships | Girlfriend can't tell me she loves me, what do? | I'll make this short.
My girlfriend (22) of a year can't tell me that she loves me (19) when I tell her. We both care for each other so much and don't want this to end. Is it unfair for me to want her to love me? Am I wrong to think that if she was going to love me it would have happened already? Is it worth it to go on? I really love this woman. We both talk about spending the rest of our lives together. She's even told me she wants to have kids with me. I'm so confused. My heart wants us to stay together but my brain doesn't. | girlfriend of a year doesn't love me back, can't get over it |
t3_3me28t | relationship_advice | I [18/M] want to start a relationship with a girl (18/F) but I'm not very experienced and need some advice. | There's a girl in one of my college classes that I want to start a relationship with. From the first time I saw her I knew I wanted to get to know here. I asked her out last week and we had lunch the next day. I thought it went really well and I think she does to, but I don't know. We where at the restaurant for 3 and a half hours (and she didn't look at her phone once), so I would assume that if she wasn't interested she would have made an excuse and left.
I have her number and I asked her if she wanted to hang out again sometime, maybe see a movie or something. She didn't explicitly say yes or no, just that she needed to wait to get her work schedule. She'll be busy this weekend so I won't see her until Monday.
Here are my questions:
When I see her in class, should I ask her out on another date then?
Should I ask her if she wants to start a relationship/be my girlfriend?
I've never felt this way about a girl before; I really like her a lot and I don't want to screw things up. | Should I ask a girl if she wants to start a relationship? |
t3_1n5583 | relationships | My [23 M]] friend [22 F] of two years has started ignoring me. Would it be bad to ask why? | We met in class two years ago, and were friendly for a while even after the class ended. At the beginning of summer this year, though, she didn't return a couple texts. I just assumed she was busy and wrote it off. A few weeks to a month goes by, I try calling her, no answer, no return call. I start to assume I'm being ignored, but figure as hurt as I am, I can't really do anything. I leave for a month and a half long trip. About halfway through, I get a text from her, an invitation to her ketch day. I realize while reading it, though, it's a mass text. I send a reply along the lines of sorry I can't make it, not in country, I'll treat you to a coffee when I get back. She sends a reply that is essentially just "ok."
I ended up getting instagram (easy way to put up pictures from trips), and follow her. No follow back. I noticed pictures of her and her new boyfriend, who she had actually mentioned when we were still talking. I started to think, maybe her boyfriend won't let her talk to other guys, until she starts posting a lot of back and froths with her ex (a mutual friend of mine).
I'm hurt. I really want to know why she just suddenly stopped talking to me, or even bothering to return texts. Would it be inappropriate to ask? What should I say?
Sorry if his isn't the right place to post, no idea where else I would. | friend is ignoring me, I don't know why. Should I ask? What should I say? |
t3_2kmgav | personalfinance | Credit Card Settlement Agreement? | We went significantly behind on repaying a credit card issued by one of the big banks with a high balance due for many reasons. Debt is ~$50K. The issuer still owns the debt but placed the account with a collection agency who we have been working with to settle the debt. We put a very low offer on the table and were told it was accepted and the collection agency gave us a letter saying that it would accept the payment in settlement of the debt and once payment made out to the issuer was received they'd notify their client that we had satisfied the account. I squawked a little (I'm a lawyer but generally a reasonable one) and they changed the letter to say that their client would accept the payment to settle the account. Still, I have nothing in writing from the issuer and have been presented with no legal document that sets forth the terms of the settlement. It feels like there's some risk that the collection agent will simply forward the payment to the issuer as a payment against the outstanding balance and then they'll come after me for the rest. I don't want to have to sue the collection agent if it does that. I'd appreciate any advice. | should I sign a formal settlement agreement before paying a collection agent? |
t3_1ukza9 | personalfinance | The importance of checking your credit score. | I'm in my 20's and read "I Will Teach You to be Rich" by Ramit Sethi, which is a fantastic book on personal finance and it is very easy to read because the author is hilarious. Anyway, in one of the earlier chapters, he goes over the importance of checking your credit score and how to do it. I checked mine in July through MyFico.com and found two mistaken flagged late payments through a student loan agency. I have been contesting these flags for 6 months with all three credit bureaus as well as the agency, and today I had a score watch alert that stated that my credit increased from 685 to 740. This is huge. | Check your credit score and contest any clerical errors on your report. Your score can increase significantly. |
t3_1fb688 | dating_advice | (F/24) confused about the vibe I'm getting from this guy (M/23) I met at school. Advice on how to proceed? | About a month ago I saw a guy I perviously did a school project with in college. We happened to see each other out & about but I wasn't sure who it was - the face just looked familiar - so I didn't approach him & he didn't approach me. Few days pass and he friend requests me on Facebook, so now I know for sure it was him.
We start talking via Facebook chat quite often. Since I don't tend to stay on Facebook for a long time I give him my number so we could text. Texts me awhile after and we talk frequently. It was casual at first and then I notice him getting a little flirtatious - teasing me and calling me cute. I start thinking that I might like to get to know him because he seems cool through text & what I can remember from the project we did in school. So I wait to see if he will ask me to chill with him.
We're still talking often and I drop hints, but nothing. He still flirts with me but never asks me to hang out. He's told me he is single so I know it isn't that he has a girlfriend. I'm getting pretty confused. Am I getting the wrong vibe from him? Like, I might just be delirious or something? haha What should I do? Advice? | Talking with this guy I knew from college, flirts with me through text quite often but never asks to hang out. He doesn't have a girlfriend, so am I getting the wrong vibe? |
t3_3urt4x | relationships | Me [23 M] with my Girlfriend [22 F] of 6 months, was I out of line asking her to do this? | So me and my girlfriend have been together for 6, nearly 7 months. When we decided to become a couple, I knew she used to have a thing for this guy that she went to uni with, before she knew me. The guy was nothing but mean towards her, she liked him, but he didn't like her at all. I think they went to a few parties together, and as a result, they have a few photos and snapchats together. After they hated each other, we got together.
6, nearly 7 months into our relationship, she tells me that she still has his phone number, contact, texts, facebook messages, screenshotted snapchats, and stupid selfie type videos together.
I told her that this made me a bit uncomfortable, and she comes back telling me that they were important to her. It made me think that she hadn't moved on from him, and I asked her if she hadn't. She got really angry, and deleted all of his stuff in front of me.
This had made her really angry with me, and she won't even speak to me now. Was i out of line getting her to delete this stuff? | Found out girlfriend had messages and photos from guy she liked before meeting me, asked her to delete them, she got angry and now won't speak to me. |
t3_n1zs3 | AskReddit | In honor of finals week, what's the most memorable thing that's happened to you or someone you know during an exam? I'll start. | First, by memorable, I mean either funny or extremely fucked up-- your choice.
Now to my story: So a few weeks ago in a multivariable calc exam (mostly full of first years, so people who haven't yet been exposed to the supposed hardships of classes), there were apparently some trolls in the exam. They were friends of my friend and didn't go to our university, visiting from across the country (and completely ignorant of the ways of multivariable calculus). But since they were visiting, why not try an exam? And why not troll the hell out of it?
So the exam proceeded in silence for the first twenty minutes, barring the occasional cell phone vibration, sigh of frustration, or (most amusing in a schadenfreude way) the frenzied erasure of an incorrect answer. The test environment is tense, when all of a sudden, a few rows up, I hear the sound of paper ripping. This fine gentleman decided he had had enough of pretending to take this exam, so he ripped up his test and shouted "Fuck this, I'm going home", while throwing his shredded exam into the air. The room doesn't know quite how to react-- I laughed, though I knew who this kid was, and others surely felt some pity (or laughed too, if they were assholes). The room returned to silence, until a few minutes later, when the exceptionally smart (or exceptionally fucked) students are starting to trickle out and another faux-student takes his test, throws it at the TA proctoring the exam, and shouts, "Fuck [Name of University]! I'm done. I'm calling my mom and dropping out!" And the reaction is similar, though some students are beginning to catch on. And finally, for the coup de grâce, a few minutes later, the third troll stands up, turns his test in to the TA. Then, in the silence of the testing room, he shouts "I JUST MADE THAT TEST MY BITCH!" and calmly walks out. It was a memorable hour to say the least. | Students from another university trolled the hell out of an exam by pretending to be disgruntled students. |
t3_3thd1l | relationships | How do I [27F] know if I miss him [31M] or if I'm just lonely? 1 month post break up [relationship was 1 year] | It's been one month after my BF (31M) and I (27F) broke up.
I know time heals all. I've gone through breakups before, they never seem to get easier! It's so so hard.
How do I know if I miss HIM, or, if I'm just lonely? After going out one night, my friend asked me "well, if you found someone new tonight, and you were with that new guy tonight and he was holding you, would you miss your ex?" I said "No." So, she said that's how I knew I was just lonely. But... I don't know, anyone else have any ways for me to determine this? | How do I [27F] know if I miss him [31M] or if I'm just lonely? |
t3_1vjf95 | Advice | Not sure if I should confront my brother | So, a little back story I guess? My brother and I were never very close as kids and we more or less tolerated each other, but about a year ago there was a brief stint where we lived together again with our family. We quickly became close friends and we can easily say we are best friends now. We play video games together, we smoke together, we just hang out a lot. I recently saw his browser history though and there was quite a bit of incest and little sister porn. It freaks me out a little bit and I'm not sure what to do. Is it just a fetish that has no bearings in real life? Is it just because we spend so much time together? Does he view me this way? I'm afraid to broach the subject because I don't want to make our relationship awkward. We hate most of our family and so we're really the only family we have. And as all of my friends have moved out of the city or are just complete and total assholes that I don't want to deal with, I'm afraid I'll end of losing one of my few good friends in the process of confronting him about it.
I'm sorry the post is kind of jumbled. my thoughts are all over the place about this but I really just want anyone else's opinion on the matter since I have no one else to really talk to about it. | my brother looks at incestuous porn and I'm scared to confront him about it |
t3_2qkxqw | relationships | Me [18 M] with my [18 F] date , need adice on first date | A couple of weeks back I met this girl at a party and we spoke for a bit but she had to leave early due to her parents being quite strict . It was weird because I never have felt so disappointed about a girl leaving before so I knew I should keep in contact.
We end up meeting again at a christmas party and getting quite drunk and having a great time but we didnt get off because she was too drunk and ended up having a nap in my arms. We carry on messaging on Facebook the next couple with quite flirty messages , leading to her suggesting we go watch a movie. Is it bad I didnt ask her?
So now im kind of feeling a bit anxious because I really like her and think she is beautiful and I feel she likes me but I don't want to mess up the cinema date . I have no real experience with dating and just don't want to mess up and do something stupid . I also want to kiss her to just get over that tension barrier but not sure how to do that either. Any help on my situation would be great :) | need dating tips for the first date to movies |
t3_26i8pi | relationships | My gf (23) and I (22) have hit some turbulence, looking for guidance moving forward. | I've been with this girl for over a year now. She wasn't my first, though this is my first relationship and she is the first person I'd consider myself having made sweet, passionate love to. We click on so many levels, she's very easy-going and fun to be around.
We used to have sex at least once a day. A few months into our relationship, we agreed to ditch the condoms and she tried birth control. That didn't last long, as it completely messed with her mood and libido - a common enough result from research we did. Since then, though, things have definitely changed. We have sex anywhere from one-three times per week and I've honestly been fine with, though it's on the low end for me. But the last two weeks, things have ground to a halt.
I tried to bring up the seemingly glaring disparity in our libidos once, but didn't pursue it as she started to shut down. I've since given up on trying to initiate anymore, partially because I'm curious to see if she will, but also to avoid the inevitable awkward embarrassment that follows rejection. Am I less attractive to her? Too forward? Psyching her out? Is something bothering her? Am I not treating her right?
It feels like she just doesn't even consider anything I'm feeling as explained here, that she is simply unaware, but she can't be... right? Every day that passes without any sexual contact is another blow to my self-esteem, easily sending me into a spiraling hopelessness that I should fight to save (this part of) our relationship. It's lined up with a short series of disagreements we've had, and I guess I'm starting to question things. She's really great, I know she loves me a lot and could be devastated if I ended things, but I've had to now consider how important sex is for me in a relationship.
Part of this post is maybe just needing a big ol' hug from the r/relationships community before I have the talk that I know we need, but I'd also appreciate some insight, particularly from what her perspective could be, before I go into it. Thanks! | I love her, but I miss having sex and it's starting to damage my self-esteem to the point where I'm starting to question things. |
t3_2fxxgd | relationships | Me [38M] with my wife [38F]: asking for a lot of emotional support. I feel like it's too much, she thinks it's what a good husband does. | Right now it's because we are trying for our second child and have not yet succeeded. Friends are having babies all around us. Three this week, three last week, others pending. Each of them puts her into an emotional state. Today she went to visit her friend and their newborn and now she is crying, saying she needs me to come home from work because she is so upset. Not coping. She's all "it's not fair, why can't it be us" and "I know we'll never have another child" etc etc etc etc.
It was OK the first couple of times but now I feel like when I give her sympathy and look after her it's just creating an incentive for her to do it again. Even when there are pictures of babies on TV, off she goes. Each month when she finds out she isn't pregnant there is a full meltdown.
I really hate complaining and moping. And I never know what to say to her. I try validating and saying "I know it's hard for you" etc but I think just encourages her to do more moping and get more sympathy. I try saying "you just have to get over it" and then I become the problem and she calls me a "cruel cold-hearted bastard" etc.
Right now I am at the point of saying "shut the fuck up and stop whining it is driving me insane" which may lead to divorce. But honestly it is so boring, frustrating and depressing listening to someone moan day after day after day. I have way better things to be doing.
The pregnancy thing is the current issue, but she has a long history of doing this about other things and always has at least one crisis going on.
Am I being an asshole? | Wife often in an emotional state, I am tired of "being there" for her. Difference of opinion over which one of us is being reasonable. |
t3_pk0g5 | relationship_advice | Secretly in love with my tutor, zomg | Alright so long story short, I am a male college senior (23) and started taking an asian language this term, where we are required to go to tutoring at least once a week. First tutoring session I go to I meet my tutor and she is a knockout. Not only that but she is extremely nice and seems to laugh at most of my jokes. After four or five weeks of tutoring sessions (I have been going more like 3 times a week now) I have come to the conclusion that taking this course has been the best decision I have ever made. I would like nothing more than to go out for some drinks with this girl or just hang out.
Now my question is, what next? I have no idea how to transition from the tutoring sessions to becoming friends or more. I don't believe in love at first sight but hot damn I haven't ever become so interested in someone so quickly. I realize this sounds like a "zomg lyk girlz scare me" type deal but I've never had this problem before, I am just drawing a blank as to what to try. | I'm way into my foreign language tutor and am unsure of what the next step is |
t3_2hoh2b | relationships | My [23M] boyfriend just found out I [20F] had a "fivesome" and is completely repulsed by me now... | Hi Reddit, I am a 20 yr old female in a relationship with a 23 year old male.
I was at a party with my good friends and my boyfriend of 3 months and we all decided to play drunk truth or dare. A group question came up that asked "have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?" and I answered no for obvious reasons, but it didn't end there. Straight away, my highly drunk friend says "don't you remember that fivesome you had in the toilets last year?" in front of my boyfriend. I was speechless and I could see that my boyfriend was not impressed at me at all. To make matters worse, it confirmed that my "number" was a lie as I told him that I'd only had sex with 3 other guys throughout my life.
Ever since that night (2 days ago), he's hardly said a word to me and claimed to be "too busy" to see me or talk. I've tried to explain that the past is in the past, but he's been very apathetic with his replies (when I actually get them).
/r/relationships, how can I fix this? I really love him, he's responsible, good job and kind hearted but he doesn't seem to want anything to do with me | Boyfriend found out that I had a fivesome and that I lied about the number of people I've had sex with in my life. |
t3_2hrxc2 | tifu | TIFU by putting Monster in my coffee | I was in my afternoon slump, sleepy but wanting to finish playing Last of Us for the first time. I've never had Monster before but I needed to finish the game before taking it back to Redbox (can only afford so much redbox, I'd been at this for a day and half already). Next thing I know it's wee morning and I'm in bed next to my sleeping boyfriend, watching tv trying to cope with this game. Suddenly it hits my exhausted mind, I killed all those people with stories and the relationship of Joel and Ellie was so powerful I understand what the game hype was talking about, and the pent up caffeinated energy pushed my emotions to waterfall into sudden, loud sobs and hyperventilating. He shoots up ready to kill, "What's wrong? What happened?" I uncontrollably cry for a few seconds before choking out the most pitiful, "Don't die," and passing out from emotional distress. He's pretty sure now that I'm crazy | Too much caffeine/video games = waking the bf up with emotional horror |
t3_1u93jp | relationships | Me [25/F] and my boyfriend [25/M] have been dating for about 3 months, and I feel a little insecure because of his past. | We started dating somewhere around October. He had been interested in me for a while, and he showed it. He really made an effort, and now we're happy and in love. He truly is an awesome guy.
Before we started dating, though, we were quite close "friends", so I know A LOT about his past. He was kind of a player, I mean, he wasn't one of those guys who lies to women to use them and deceive them, or any of that... but he did constantly hook up with many women casually, like having a different girl every weekend. Some of them I know. So he has a lot of experience, sexually, and he's been with absolutely GORGEOUS women. He even briefly dated a stripper (which just thinking about it triggers many body image issues that I've had, well, forever).
On the other hand, I've barely slept with 5 guys since I became sexually active. I was with my ex for close to 6 years, though, so that's why I lack some experience. My current boyfriend is the best I've had, sexually (as well as emotionally, since he treats me soooooo much better than my ex/other guys I've been with).
I kinda feel inadequate, ugly and like I'm not good enough. Of course, this is such a petty, dumb issue. He is very complimentary of what I do sexually and about my body, but when I think about how many women he's slept with, and the fact that I know some of them, or that he still has many of them on Facebook, I can't help but feel a little insecure. I feel very average and like a sexual loser.
I'm also scared he'll eventually get bored of being with me and want to go back to his old ways.
Please help... I just want to stop being so dumb about it. He's great, and he's so loving toward me. Even his friends have told me how different he's been with me, and how happy he seems. So I know I'm being dumb. I just need to stop FEELING all this. | I'm 25/F, and I feel inadequate and insecure because my boyfriend [25/M] has way more experience than me, sexually. |
t3_1pzbd3 | relationships | [36 M] with a dating life and potential baby mama | My ex-girlfriend is nine weeks pregnant and is my ex (after a year and a half) because there's a good chance the baby isn't mine. I found out both facts six weeks ago. Our relationship was on the rocks well before all this happened.
I acknowledge there is a chance I am the father. While I have no interest in a romantic relationship with the mother, I intend to be involved with the child - if I am the biological father. At minimum this will be support payments. Ideally, I would be a part of this child's life.
It is also early in the pregnancy. The mother is awaiting results of genetic screening for disease and is in a high risk group for miscarriage. This is her first pregnancy at age 37. I have no other children.
So. I met a woman recently. It was only one date and conversation, but we were both anxious to arrange a second date. There's chemistry. And I'm torn. I'm carrying a lot of baggage with what might be a heavy obligation on the way. Gambling odds says this is not my child, and there's always a chance the pregnancy will end early. I know this is just me justifying not letting this other woman know.
So, the question: is it better to unload all this on new interest sooner or later? Do I give her a chance to run away, or risk ruining a potentially good thing down the road by keeping this from her? | There's a chance my ex is carrying my child. When should I tell a new romantic interest? |
t3_eh479 | relationship_advice | Roommate Trouble | I am a sophomore in college, and last night I had an argument which seems way to consequential to me, so I want /r/relationship_advice's opinion on the matter.
My roommate was on his computer with his headphones in, doing homework. He also had the tv (which is mine) on, on mute. I asked if he was watching, and he said no. I asked him to turn the tv off if he wasn't watching it.
He became stubborn, asking why it mattered. I told him that I think that if you're not using something, you should turn it off, and since the tv is mine, he should observe that rule. He told me I was treating him like a little kid, and the fact that the tv is mine has no bearing on how he uses it, if it's not actively bothering me (ie. too loud while I'm trying to study).
What do you think? Is my roommate being stubborn and disrespectful, or am I being too nitpicky and controlling? I'd appreciate the most honest feedback possible, no need to censor yourself. | Roommate doesn't turn off my tv when he's done using it, is he being disrespectful or am I obsessing too much? |
t3_1sr0j8 | Pets | Question about teaching dogs not to anticipate there dinner hours ahead of time. | EDIT: Guh, *their... forgot to proofread the title, sorry.
Basically I have a dog that shows up whining and doing his "hungry dance" earlier and earlier each day.
His feeding time was 8 pm (generally right before we sat down to eat). When the time changed and the days grew shorter he persists to bother me beginning around 4:30 (sunset).
In my mind, I'm like ok its sundown and he doesn't understand the convention of time. But I'd rather not move his feeding time and I understand him to be in some sort of distress I'd like to curtail if possible. | For two hours prior to dinner I can't make eye contact with my dog without throwing him into a tizzy (he prances back and forth tries to walk me to his bowl and whines excessively). I'd like to stop this. |
t3_3avd9w | relationships | My [23F] relationship is hot and cold with my boyfriend [37M]. Need some advice and for someone to look at this situation rationally. | Background: I have known him for roughly two years. I live with him. He has a child, and has to live near the childs mom. He has never been married. I just got out of school for software. We live on the east coast. He does most of the house work.
Concerning Problems: Sometimes my boyfriend is really charming and nice. He makes breakfast for me and likes cuddling. Other times, I find myself being accused of cheating just by looking at my phone. Or he gets angry when I interrupt his cuddling to go to the bathroom for 30+ minutes, and sends me a text calling me a name, with concerning remarks about job prospects.
I am not sure if this is enough of a reason to feel bad about the relationship, like potentially it won't last and maybe I should leave. But then I actually see him and he is charming and I change my mind.
I am not sure if this behavior by him is something I should be concerned about, or if I am being irrational. | My boyfriend is hot and cold and I am not sure if I am being irrational about second guessing the relationship. |
t3_1v8bbc | relationship_advice | [18/m] do I stay with or leave my girlfriend [17/f] | OK so this is my first post on reddit and I'll try to keep it simple. I've been dating my SO for a year and 9 months now and for the last few months I've been having strong thoughts about breaking up with her, although I still love her very much. She's basically perfect and sometimes I'm not sure why I'd want to break up with her. She has mild idiosyncrasies but everyone does, although Im finding them more annoying as time goes on. However I can't stop myself having the desire to be single again. A few months back we had an argument (very rare) and she starts crying so I hug her and it goes silent, and I remember in that moment thinking, and wanting, her to break up with me. Just so I wouldn't have to struggle with this.
There was another incident more recently of another girl flirting with me and being really cold to my girlfriend, which has led to her being largely ostracised from our social group. Yet I can't stop myself from being excited by it and having my heart race every time I get a message from her. I don't flirt back because I couldn't do that to my SO, but each time I really really want to. I've also noticed acting more like a single guy when I'm with m py friends and a hot girl walks past.
Yet despite all this I can't imagine my life without my SO. She's so kind and sweet and beautiful and even though I currently stand on breaking up to her tomorrow, thinking about it made me cry this evening (not something I do often) which has just made me even more confused. That's why I need some advice, even if I don't get a definitive answer, anything that'll help me figure this out will be massively appreciated. Oh and to make it worse her birthday is next Monday and although I don't want to ruin her birthday I also don't want to spend £100 on something she'll likely throw away if I do it soon after. | I love my girlfriend but really want to be single again. I'd never cheat on her so that's not an option, but need some advice! Thanks |
t3_2lqtuv | relationships | For those who've been in a relationship where the sex dwindled, did the sex ever pick up to where you were in the beginning? | I (24f) have noticed a significant drop in our (26m) sexual activity from what we used to be at (almost every day in the first year and a half to maybe 3 times a week if lucky-so it's not terrible, but I would prefer where we were before).
I know this is brought up a lot, but I was wondering if any of you have been in a similar situation, and if the sexual frequency every picked up again? Or if that's very rare for a relationship to go back to every day kind of frequency?
I've read that every relationship goes through highs and lows, but we've been at our lower sexual frequency for a solid year now. Just wondering if there's any hope for where we were before, or if I should just be happy with where we're at (I'm not necessarily unhappy, but I could definitely go for more sex). | did your sex life pick up again? Or is that very uncommon? |
t3_54tdxi | relationships | Me [21 M] with my __gf_ [22 F] of two years, distance problem | Hey guys i just need an advice. So i met my gf in the university. Both of us live in different cities and the University is the meeting point. We are together since January 2015 but in November of 2015 she graduated (because she is one year older than me) and she went on to live in her parents house at her city. She came over to me on weekly basis and we agreed not to break up. We have never broken up not even once but since January of 2016 we are having conflicts about silly reasons. She has some psychological problems that doesn't want to admit and her personality seems bipolar sometimes..She gets angry really easy and acts immature, however i'm a calm person and i take it easy most of those times. The problem is that at this point, she rarely compliments me, and the weekly basis that she visited me is slowly turning into monthly. Both of us want to live at the same city (not mine or her or the one i study) but i still have one year to finish uni..Is it worth to take the risk (conflicts, lack of trust, missing the compliments) and wait for one year till we have the chance to see if we will move together or should i break up and yolo my time left at the uni? | (At distance with gf, facing problems) |
t3_3bqjol | relationships | my friend [31 F] of 17 years seems to have cut me [31 F] out of her life. Advice? | I'll try to keep this short and ambiguous because she is a redditor too though the name I knew her as on reddit is deleted now.
I think a friend of mine just broke up with me in a rather painful way and I'm not sure what I did to deserve it. I've tried messaging her over our usual channels (gchat, facebook, text, voicemail) and have had no response. We have a mutual friend who I asked for help but he refused to on the ground that it was unfair to put him in the middle of this (I'm not even sure what this is).
I'm really heartbroken. I don't know what to do or how else I should handle this. I haven't been able to bring myself to write a full email asking what's going on because I think it will mean the end. Should I just let it be and see if she makes contact or try reaching out one more time? | Long-term friend cut off all communication with no prior warning/reason. Do I continue to try to reach out? |
t3_1xqvik | relationships | He [23/M] and I [23/F] are in a monogamous, committed, long-term non-relationship. | Met a guy in junior high, fell in love with him in high school. We dated for three years and we've been not-dating for four. He broke up with me because he's emotionally unstable (bipolar) and he doesn't think he's fit to be in a relationship. He's probably right.
Neither of us have dated or been with other people. We spend a lot of our time together and we have a lot of the same friends. We tell people we're best friends, but we're sleeping together and we both say "I love you" whenever we hang up a call. He was away on my birthday but he Skyped to tell me how much he appreciates me; made me cry.
But we're not together. He asks about guy friends sometimes and whether or not I could see myself with them like we're best girl friends. I think he's jealous but I think he would be relieved if I began seeing somebody because then he could stop feeling guilty about holding me back. He says I'm too good for him and sometime it'll occur to me that I've been fooling myself into thinking he's a good person worth caring about. He says if he was going to be with anyone, it would be me, but it's never going to happen, so I should be thinking about my future with other guys. Then other times he kisses my nose and tells me I'm pretty. I couldn't accuse him of sending me mixed signals because he'd never mean to be cruel. It makes it hard to kill the hope.
It's hard to communicate how I feel about this situation and I can't talk to any of my (our) friends about it so I guess I'm just dumping this here to vent a little. I'm tired and frustrated of loving a man who loves me back, and having to acknowledge every single day that that just isn't enough all the time. Feels like it should be. Thanks a lot for reading. | I love a guy who loves me back, his emotional problems and shitty self-esteem have us trapped in a 4-year non-relationship. I'm frustrated; it hurts and it sucks. |
t3_2e0mks | relationships | I [25M] have never been on a date and I don't know how to start. | I am 25 years old and not only do I have no dating experience, I also have never kissed anyone and I fear this may become a problem as I get older.
There are reasons for my situation. I am not very social and I don't like crowds, loud noise or dancing in public. Also, even though I have had crushes, I never acted on them and women have never stated any interest in me other than being a friend.
It has been suggested by my friends that I try online dating, but I don't trust it. Some people lie on online dating sites and the thought of many strangers being interested in me or me having to look through many strangers is overwhelming to me. I'm quite uncomfortable meeting new people and I'd actually rather date someone who I've befriended first.
On that point, I have a crush on one of my friends [24F] for a decade. We've been friends since elementary school and she is nice to me, but we're not very close, I don't think she is interested in me in that way, and I think we are too different. However, she is smart and beautiful and I just would like to spend some time with her at least.
Even though I have a job and a university degree, I still live at home and I don't know how to drive in a city (I live in a rural area). Plus, even though I'm 25, I still sometimes think to myself that I am not yet a real adult. There are some things, non-dating-wise, that I don't know how to do and it makes me feel less of a man.
I am not going to jump into the dating pool until I feel I am ready, so there is no rush to do this now. However, I am feeling left out considering that some of my friends are either married or engaged or in long-term relationships.
Does anyone have any advice or suggestions? | never dated, never kissed, self-esteem and personal issues, crush on a friend, need advice. |
t3_3avcus | relationships | Me [18F] with SO [19M] no contact after fight | My SO and me have been together for 1 1/2 years, broke up once in feb. Now everything seemed fine, we both learned to compromise. But last friday we wanted to meet and he just didnt come although I told him several times. He said he "overslept" and I told him that he cant behave like that and that I feel disrespected. He wrote back why I am being angry, but i didnt reply. That was four days ago and he still hasnt called/texted me to meet or excuse. But I am stubborn too and waiting for him to excuse, because I didnt do something wrong. Dont want to run after him.
What do you think? | had a fight, both too stubborn/proud to text first |
t3_1q25aq | relationships | Am I [27F] responsible for his [32M] stolen iPhone? | After two years, I finally broke up with my boyfriend. It was a mutual breakup: I was tired of his cheating and he was tired of hiding it. I asked him to leave, and he asked me for his first month's rent and deposit ($800). I'm really struggling right now but I managed it.
A week ago I decided to move and rented out my apartment. He still had keys so I asked him if he could return them. He said he would during the week, then he stopped responding.
On Saturday, I left home to make arrangements. I received texts from my new 19 year old tenant saying that my ex had let himself in, drank a bottle of crown and passed out on my couch.
When I got back home I found that my ex was totally unconscious. I couldn't wake him for almost twelve hours. When he woke up he realized his brand new iPhone 5S was gone, though he had had it when he came in.
The tenant admitted he had a few friends over that could have stolen it. He called around and asked but obviously no one confessed. My ex started screaming and punching things, but my tenant was able to calm him down.
My ex has been contacting me relentlessly regarding getting him a replacement. He says I am avoiding him because I don't want to pay for it. I had suggested he claim his insurance policy, but he needed the receipt which he had thrown away.
I mentioned that I haven't asked him to repay the $800 and he went ballistic about how he "sees how it is" and "money is all that matters to girls like me." And "nothing good has ever occurred around you."
My side: he wasn't supposed to be there anyway.
His side: the phone was stolen from my property.
He might be legally right. I don't know. Opinions? I thought about telling him to keep the $800 but he seems to want to do both that and keep the phone. | ex's phone was stolen on my property when he wasn't suppose to be there, should I buy him another one? |
t3_324lk5 | pettyrevenge | Going to use my coffee? I'll give it the ol switcheroo. | I am not a coffee snob. I just like fresh coffee. At my old office, I would bring my own coffee in from a local roaster.
As time went on I noticed my coffee was disappearing, and the office "bulk" (generic) coffee was staying pretty full. It didn't take long to realize that the whole office preferred fresh coffee as well.
I really didn't mind this, I just wanted us all to share the cost if we were sharing the coffee. I left a note on the bag asking for a small donation if brewing a batch.
The note disappeared again and again, and no contributions were ever made. Finally frustrated (and coffee budget near nill) I extracted my revenge.
I hid my amazing coffee in a plain generic bag (inspired by the BØRING potato chip commercial). I then filled the original delicious coffee bag with 100% DECAF coffee.
Enjoy your morning 'boost' you cheap bastards. | Stolen coffee replaced with decaf. bwa ha ha. |
t3_4be6do | jobs | Former Teacher with MBA, Need Advice | Posted this in /r/careers/ they suggested I come here.
Hello everyone! I am a former teacher with 8 years of teaching experience and about 2 years of insurance sales experience that's desperately looking for a new job. I have 2 Masters degrees, one is in Curriculum Instruction (technology) and the other is an MBA in Marketing from Arizona State.
I have had an incredibly difficult time finding a job and I feel like I just need some advice. My MBA is of the online variety, in which ASU is ranked very high but it seems like there was little career help from them when I was going there/graduating. The on campus students are treated well, and are actively recruited but unfortunately it didn't work that way for the online program.
Like I said before, I currently work in insurance. It's a commission based job but I need more income security. My wife just left me a few months back so I'm trying to make some changes and move my life forward. I'm 32, living in the Phoenix Arizona area. What I'm looking for someone to maybe help me identify the deficiencies in my resume or (long shot) someone has a similar set of experiences and has some advice on the types of jobs I'm qualified for. I'll post my resume minus personal details if that's requested, or if someone PM's me, I'll send it off to them.
I don't have terribly high requirements. I want a job that pays well enough to cover my bills (50-60k range) and gives me the opportunity to advance based on merit. I'm certainly not opposed to working in insurance, but I'd love to get it on the claims or underwriting side of things rather than sales. I'm an independant agent so moving into something like that with the company I work for is not possible.
Thanks Reddit! | Phoenix resident, Divorced, 32 year old who is well educated but lacks experience needs a new job |
t3_25ugk3 | relationships | Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [17 F], mainly a rant about how terrible I feel. | So this girl and I have been flirtatious for about 6 months, until recently when we started to be more in an open and physical relationship. The main reason I had for not initiating things earlier was because of the small sized friend group I am in. I didn't want to disrupt the peace. (Just a little background.)
So we were texting a bit and she seemed pretty down so I decided to call her instead of just text. We talked about what was going on in our day and such, and after about 20 minutes I just said
"Alright, I'm going to hang up now."...... .-.
Why the fuck did I do that. It's not even that I didn't want to talk to her, I just decided that was the right thing to do. I guess I thought there was nothing much else to say? I'm just pissed at myself because I have a pattern of being a shitty guy without knowing until seconds after I have a chance to help it. This was mainly a rant because I am really distraught at how I acted. What I said had no connection with what was going on in the conversation, but I said it anyways ughh. The more I think about it the more I feel my soul drifting from my body. | Embarassing moment where I told my love interest I was "going to hang up now" really abruptly for no apparent reason. Feeling awkward, disgusted with myself, blown away at how stupid I am sometimes. |
t3_bekc3 | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, Please help me understand guys... | ok, so I've been talking to this guy for a week now. We would talk on the phone from anywhere between 2-4 hours a night (I am 24, so this is odd for me since I haven't done this since high school). He always calls me first, texts me first. We finally decide to go on a date. We had a good time (not great, but still really good.). It was sort of a blind date. but we had seen each others facebooks, so we knew what each other looked like. We went to a museum to look at a Da Vinci exhibit, and even watch a planetarium show. He bought our tickets ($45.00 total) and bought us some astronaut ice cream(we had talked about loving it). I than bought him and myself a plastic robot that is molded right in front of you. After the museum we went to a pretty expensive restaurant. (I think that guys should not have to pay for every aspect of a date ... especially when it gets up into $100's) So I offered quite a few times to pay for dinner until he finally agreed. $54.00, and throughout dinner I would catch him staring at me. After Dinner we went to a coffee shop and sat for about an hour just talking and playing cards(he paid for coffee). Well, after the 7 and a half hour date (from 1:30pm to 9:00pm) We had done so many things, that we decided to go home. He told me to text him when I got home and I did. He called me and we talked for about 3 hours. He told me how he really liked me, and I him. and Even told me a story about how he was going to hold my hand but was to nervous.
So the next day We text back and fourth briefly. Than he tells me that he is going to call me after his shower... He never calls ... I text him the next day in a totally joking manner "Nice talking to you last night :(" I never got a response. | Please help me understand. How does a guy go one min. from really liking you and telling his family about you, to the next min. not even talking to you ? |
t3_11dshh | tifu | TIFU by expressing my opinion. | *Backstory:* I live in an area where post-secondary schools breed like rabbits. There are seminaries, technical/"regular" colleges, universities, "high learning" institutes (high schools you pay/apply for), and regular high school. The one university is jokingly/lovingly referred to as a high school, especially by students from the other university, and those who don't see themselves ever going (I'm the latter).
One of my friends said that the one school had a zamboni driving course, so I used the high school joke, and said that they would have that as a course. When I said this, it was with a smile and a giggle in my voice, showing that it's a joke, and I don't actually believe that. My teacher hears that, and begins railing on me. I don't mean "FMFN, shut up and finish the note." I mean RAILING. He called me rude, ignorant, disrespectful, impulsive, and essentially told me to shut the fuck up because I drove him bat-shit insane and he couldn't stand me to begin with.
Then he brought his kids into it. His daughter is a really good lawyer, and she's bilingual. He credits this to her going to that school (which, by the way doesn't offer law, only pre-requisites for law school.). I credit her for being a hard core student, studying her ass off, and being a talented linguist. His son also studies there.
He basically is yelling to the whole class that his kids are talented as fuck, then tells me "It's a world- renowned university. Maybe next time you insult something, do your research first."
*What he doesn't know:* If he would have let me get a word in edge-wise, he would know that tons of my friends go to that school, including one who is becoming a paralegal; I really don't have a problem with the school, I just don't see myself there; I did consider the school for a while, until I found out it wasn't the best, and even students recommended I go else where; and most importantly I WAS JOKING! | One of my teachers lost his shit at me because I said that a university wasn't very good. His kids go to that university.* |
t3_30xlk6 | tifu | TIFU by forgetting to take my medicine. | Obligatory 'this happened yesterday, first time poster' nonsense.
My FU started yesterday morning when I forgot to take my anxiety medication (Zoloft) before leaving for class. I wrote a note to myself to take it when I got home.
The rest of the day went fine until I arrived in my driveway, when I proceeded to lock my keys inside my car. At this point, I had a strong headache and was feeling very anxious due to the lack of my medication in my system. Judgement impaired, I decided my only option to get inside would be to break through the glass panes in my door to get inside.
With my hand.
Blood was everywhere. I'm not talking 'sneezing on your period' blood, I'm talking 'Amazon river of flowing red liquid'. Luckily no glass got into the wounds, but they looked gross. I ended up with 3 deep wounds, received 12 stitches by the end of the night. (I can provide pictures if you want to see.) | forgot medicine, went bruce lee on my door, thought i was going to bleed to death. |
t3_f0uog | AskReddit | How do I nicely reject flirty behavior from a friend? | Some backstory... I have a friend, let's call him Jack, who has been gaga (see "in love") with another friend in the group, let's call her Jill. A few weeks back, Jack finally gathers enough courage to ask Jill out, and gets kind of rejected (Jill is eyeing another guy and doesn't want to lead Jack on). A few weeks later (a pretty shitty time in my life), Jill gets really flirtatious around me. She starts making more physical contact, she finds ways to get us together alone, etc. To this day this behavior is still ongoing, leading me to believe its not the whole "aww I want to help this poor lost puppy" that a lot of women do. Thing is, I'm not really interested in her. I mean, she's a GREAT gal--plenty beautiful, full of talent and pretty damn intelligent.
What is the best way to tell her this, both as a I'm not interested and a I would be a giant douche if I started seeing you that way (even though a part of me wants to hook up with her simply to get some... don't worry, not gonna happen)? I don't think I was the guy she was referring to when she rejected Jack, but that's not how he will see things. | Jack likes Jill, Jill likes me, me no like Jill that way. Halp diffuse bomb? |
t3_3p6zn5 | relationships | I'm [18m], I've barely communicated with another human being over the course of the past 3 years and I may or may not have a date soon | Bit of an obtuse question but this seems like the best place to ask.
When I began Highschool 3 years prior, I entered into a special schooling system that allowed me to come and go as I please and do work on my own time. Which because I'm a teenager turned into "take schoolwork home and show up to hand it in one a week if that". On the off chance that I did go to school some people would try to strike up a conversation with me every now and then but because I wanted to look like a cool and profound lone wolf anime character I'd ignore them or blow them off.
As a result the past 3~ years of my life have been spent in a dimly lit room staring at a screen and I've been to literally no social outings since then. It's hard to tell whether my ability to communicate with people has been completely destroyed but I think that's basically inevitable.
Around the time that I lost my mind a little bit when the combination of desolation and a bad acid trip got to me I decided that living like this was too unhealthy and I've since made efforts to start interacting with other people again.
A few days ago I made a Tinder profile, got matched with somebody, had a relatively easy-going conversation and she's implied that she wants to meet me.
Advice and or guidance on how to make this go smoothly would be greatly appreciated. Language, body-language, what to wear and where to meet would all help. | I probably have a date after not 3 years of no social contact and I'm concerned about getting across that I'm a genuine human being and sidestepping a deranged serial killer vibe. |
t3_1dg3qs | AskReddit | GF's/Wives of Reddit, I am in dire need of your fashion help! (TL;DR at bottom) | Hello everyone, this is one of my first few posts here on Reddit, mostly a lurker but would like to become part of this awesome community, so please excuse me if this isn't the right place to ask this.
My girlfriend of five years is turning the big 21 in almost two weeks. Due to our busy schedules with school we aren't allowed as much time as we would like to bring in enough income to do a lot of fun things or even buy each other something nice for our birthdays. We usually don't do much other than just hang out which is fine, but I really want to make her feel special because the past year and a half of school has put a tremendous amount of stress on her. She's going to school to become a nurse and she holds her GPA at 4.0.
I've been saving up money for a while to get her a nice watch because she has wanted one for quite some time now. This is where I have encountered my problem.
I know the kinds she likes, but in previous attempts to buy her gifts at the beginning of our relationship I bought her a gift that she told me she loved and used it for quite some time only to find out later that she didn't really like it while being to embarrassed to tell me and hurt my feelings.
I know if I spend $200-$300 I have on a watch I want her to LOVE it, but I'm not very good with girls fashion and what not as I'm pretty plain when it comes to fashion.
I've narrowed down my choices to these following watches in no particular order:
She's shown me watches similar to these, I did my best to try and find ones she's shown me previously.
If you're still here with me reading this post, thank you sooooooo much! I can answer any questions you might need to know about her and what she likes. I will be posting a picture of us soon so you can get a better idea of her.
If any of you out here on Reddit could be so kind to take time out of your busy day and help me surprise my wonderful, beautiful girlfriend who very much deserves something nice for herself it would be much appreciated! | I'm afraid of buying an expensive (for me) watch for my girlfriends 21st birthday that she might not fully like and would be too embarrassed to tell me she doesnt want it while still wearing it anyway. |
t3_28vb6r | relationships | Me [20 M] and my ex-girlfriend [18 F] of 2+ years broke up yesterday. Ways to 'get over' her? | My girlfriend of 2 years and a few months broke up with me last night because I refused to stop selling pills. It was a stupid choice and I ended up giving them away so I wouldnt have the urge to sell anymore. I have a very good, stable job and I only did it for extra money. When she ended it with me yesterday, reality hit me and I instantly regret everything wrong i've ever done. We had a beautiful relationship and I would do anything to get back with her. But I'm not sure if that will happen.
I went to her house last night and talked with her mother and father who knew about the situation and were very honest and helpful. They said I needed to give her time and before I could think of getting back together with their daughter, I would have to fix my own life.
I will not sell any more pills. I simply won't, I'm trying very hard to keep my mind off the break-up and my wrongdoings by working at the office, but it's so slow here and here I am. On Reddit looking for guidance. She's a wonderful girl, my first true love and I still love her with all my heart. I'm just scared that as time passes we will lose any chance we have of being together again.
I'm just looking for any kind of advice. On...
1. What should I do given my situation now?
and if worst comes to worst...
2. How can I get over this terrible feeling of a hard break-up? | Girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of my stupid decisions (selling drugs) which I have stopped. The break up is going terribly tough for me and I want to know what I should do to prove to her I'm worth taking back or, what can I do to get over this break-up? |
t3_3xqznq | relationship_advice | [21/M] My mom (55/F) taking advantage of my finances! | So I feel a bit like I'm being taken advantage of financially - my mom asked me to borrow money to pay her credit card bill for the month until the child support from my dad comes in. Fine, my siblings have to eat (it's relevant that I don't live at home and only eat at home when in town for the holidays). Half an hour later, she's talking about how she bought a $175 coat for $75 and calls it a great deal - when I hear that, I instead hear that she's effectively using me as a credit line rather than as true emergency funding. Later on, I get a text message that she just bought a new phone for my little brother, because she didn't bother to get a warranty on it and it died. (Also, he's 18 and in college, let him buy the d*** phone!) I get defiant that she's not borrowing my money for a good reason, and she goes on her old rant of making sacrifices for us (which is true) and that she's being financially sound as possible - seeing her 20k car on a 40k income including child support and the aforementioned purchases, I find that's not the case. | My mom is using me as an interest-free credit card and got mad when I called her out on it - what do I do? |
t3_2imccl | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [23 M] of two years, am I being strung along? | He does not make our relationship a priority, although I know I make him very happy. He only sees me about every week or week and a half, but we only live 10-15 minutes away from each other. I go to school but am available any evening/night. He works on random days, for 12 hour shifts sometimes, but it's sporatic. He always says he is so busy with work, however I always hear him talk about things he did with his friends throughout the week, so obviously he has plenty of time for them. We text almost daily, but I still yearn for a normal relationship where we go out on real dates and he shows signs of commitment. But it's confusing because we get along so well and have great chemistry. | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_zskwk | relationships | Me, M(25) just went through best break up with F(22) of my life and ever witnessed. | My GF and I had been dating for a year this weekend. We had had our ups and downs like most relationships do. We both fell in love and were very much in love. Recently over the past 3 months, we had gotten in to a lot more arguments but we insisted on getting through them and surviving because we always talked about how we were the first people we had been with that wanted to put the effort in on fixing things.
We talked about marriage and kids and living together. Now I was very much for living together but she wasn't as she was just out of college and wanted to save money by living at home. I totally understand because I still live at home after working a year as a teacher. This has allowed me to save TONS of money. We both thought that living together would have definitely solved a lot of our problems we had. (seeing each other, planning on what to do, people able to just relax around the house with one another.) Our romance has died down a lot over the past 3 months and we both eventually fell out of love. We had a long talk about 2 days about rekindling the romance but neither of us sounded in to it. The more we talked, the more it sounded as if we were both done fighting for one another. We both parted ways today in the best break up I have ever been through or witnessed. We both mutually ended it because we both were able to admit that we fell out of love.
We had some of the best of times. We talked, we laughed, we cried remembering the good ol' times. Gave each other one last hug, I walked her down to her car one last time, opened her door for her one last time, and off she went.
I have never felt so good after a break up. It is like we both realized that we gave it our all and there was nothing else to do but to end it. | Me M(25) and F(22) just broke up right before our 1 year. No heart feelings. Not enemies. Mutually broke up after realizing we had no more fight left in ourselves on trying to keep the love alive. |
t3_i1bbp | AskReddit | Late repayer | Like an idiot I broke down on one of my own cardinal rules and loaned my adult step-son money to buy a used car. He was finally showing signs of maturity and has been working very hard at a steady job 50-60 hours/week. I spelled out the terms of the loan including no interest and a reasonable payment schedule. I also gave him 6 weeks before first payment and two weeks to discuss any concerns with the terms or payment schedule (yes I am anal-retentive). He had no objections. The first payment was due June 6th. On June 9th I sent email, text and voice mail that I had not yet received payment and now expected the monthly payment + 10% late fee. The extra week is up today. He and I have spoken only briefly and I was too angry to listen. He has promised his mother that he will be bringing a check tomorrow. What should I do if he does show up tomorrow? I am thinking of upping the late fee to 20% and putting any late fee collected into his niece's (he has no kids) 529 plan.
btw: I KNOW I am an idiot but feel free to tell me anyway. :) | Kid borrowed money and hasn't paid it back as promised |
t3_4q4t2i | relationships | I [31 M] may have screwed up my relationships with my fiancee [29 F] by asking for prenup. | I am going to keep this as short as possible and disclose not too much (unless asked). My fiancee and I have been dating for 2.5 years, I proposed to her last december and she said yes. We have been working very hard to save up for our wedding and honeymoon but 2 weeks ago I asked a question about her views on prenup (I have some general understanding on this). Well, she flipped out and said I won't marry someone who doesn't trust me and planning to leave in the future. I explained to her it was not about trust issues with her but to financially protect both of us if we were to diverce or if the marriage didn't work out. Well, she was very emotional about the whole and this did result into a bad drama (she yelled at me a lot but I quietly listened to her, hardly said much). I personally don't want both of us to financially suffer if a divorce happens. I've worked very hard to save up for the future (my savings, Roth IRA, 401Ks, multiple properties, cars) (in addition to family inheritance that will be handed by father and grandfather). I did explain to her once we got married, everything is ours from the day we legally tie the knot. She completely broke down and left (my house).
The drama happened 2.5 weeks ago. Last week, I communicated with her (called) me saying she needs to rethink all this but wants a break. Now, its getting to a point where she's badmouthing me to all her friends (she told them I was emotionally abusing her). I didn't understand the "emotional abuse" but I only calmly communicated about the prenup (I don't know how this is emotional abuse). Even some of my close friends got upset with me (she told them about it). I explained to them this was not the case and told the story. My friends then understood and stood by my decision, her female friends were very upset but I cut contacts with all of them. So based on all this, I may have screwed up my relationship with my fiancee, is it even worth pursuing or should I let it go and move on? (a lot of me thinks I should end it) | I might've screwed up my relationship with my fiancee because I asked for a prenup. Now she's telling people that I am emotionally abusing her? |
t3_2qel9y | askwomenadvice | Sent a girl a personalized Christmas text? She didn't respond. Bad Sign? (M/19) (F/19) | I met this girl the beginning of the semester in college, but I rarely saw her that much during school. Two weeks ago, I got her number after church and I had to get it then because it was the end of the semester and I never really see her much.
Anyways since two weeks ago was finals week, me being the brilliant guy that I am asked if she would like to get lunch together sometime. Her response was like this:
Hey ____________! Actually I am really busy and stressed studying for finals and everything so I don't think I can grab lunch! :( But we can after break is over!
So I was fine with that and assumed that she was really busy and would like to get lunch when school starts back up.
So today I text her a personalized Christmas text that went like "Merry Christmas ___________! I hope all of your exams went well and you have a great holiday!" She read my text like 10 minutes after I sent it, but she didn't text me back or anything.
Should I be worried about this? Should I still text her to get lunch in January?
She and I are both Christian and I heard that Christian girls like to play hard to get and love to be pursued, but I don't know if this is the case. She is also a shy girl, but I really don't know what to think anymore.
I really don't want to bug her if she doesn't like me. | Girl got a personalized text from me, but didn't say thanks or anything/ |
t3_2lbjal | needadvice | How can I become a productive member of society? (sincerely, a young person with questions about voting, politics, etc.) | So it's election day, and I'm a young college student of age to vote. The reason that I'm choosing not to vote is because I don't feel that I've done enough research on the candidates to be confident that I'm making the best choice, a choice that aligns with my morals and beliefs. Politics are hard to follow, especially when I feel so busy with school and other things going on in my life, but also, let's face it - it's boring. It's convoluted. It's easy to get overwhelmed. I'm sure most people have heard of the recent discussion on Fox News where the reporter discouraged young women from voting and exercising civic duties because they "don't get it." (Obviously if this is true, among young women and the younger generation as a whole, we should be encouraging them to get involved and educating them on how to, not discouraging them, but that's a separate discussion). The problem is, I feel like one of those young women. There's a lot that I don't get, and I want to, but I have no idea where to start. So my main question is: | How do I begin getting involved and properly informed about US/Global affairs? |
t3_xfg35 | AskReddit | My best friend since I was 5 moved to the west coast. I have to admit, I miss the bastard already. What are the most memorable memories you've had with your best friends/loved ones? I'll begin.. | My friend (Zac) and I used to own a little neighborhood lemonade business to make extra cash when we were 8-9ish. We would employ the young kids in the neighborhood (knowing they were cuter and they would sell more as well as needing less pay) and set up many stands throughout our neighborhood. We would sit inside and watch Zoids and Dragon Ball Z while they would sweat their little gullible faces off all while reaping all the profit. I believe the most money we made was 74 dollars and spent it on Pokemon Saphire and Ruby so we could trade each other version exclusive pokemon while we continued to run the semi-profitable lemonade business..... Damn, those fucking onions. I thought I told you stop cutting them marie. | When we were 8 or 9 My best friend and I hustled adorably gullible children to run a semi profitable lemonade business to get cash so we could buy Pokemon games, watch t.v. and enjoy air conditioning. |
t3_4rxmjr | relationships | My (F30s) sister (40s) never calls, visits, or wants to do things with me. Should I just give up? | She calls about once a year, visits about every five years (about two hours away), and always has an excuse not to visit me when I'm at our parents' place, which is about half an hour from her. I call her every few weeks. If she's not there, I leave a message. She doesn't call back. I like her. I love her. I would like to see her more than twice a year or so. I would like to have a closer relationship with her, not just random Facebook comments and dinner with our parents at Christmas.
For years, she said she was just too busy and tired. I get it; I'm busy and tired too, but seriously wtf. She says she loves me and hates that I act like I'm disappointed in her. I'm not disappointed with her; I don't think her behaviour shows that she values our relationship. She says she has anxiety, and my disappointment with her behaviour is disappointment in her. Ok. I don't want to be a jerk. But she has a job, friends, etc. She isn't an agoraphobic shut-in. | Should I just give up on trying to see my sister so I don't make her feel guilty about not wanting to do things with me? |
t3_vbqas | AskReddit | American here. How does the Euro zone, especially Greece, Spain and Portugal fell about the bailouts, and is tension building between these countries and Germany? | I know this might belong on r/economics, but I am more interested in the general public's opinion on the matter. From the other side of the Atlantic you all seem to be screwed in the next 10 years, probably sooner, as do we. And it is obvious that tensions have been building between citizens and their governments, ie) OWS movement and the violent protest in the Euro Zone.
But what I have seen little of, in news reports, is the Euro Zones feelings towards the German ran European Central Bank. The fate of the Euro Zone economy essentially lies in the hands of Germans.
Do you like it? Do you think it is right? Do you think they care about giving the individual countries a fighting chance, or at this point just want to salvage the Euro for themselves and a few other select nations?
It would definitely rub me the wrong way to have some foreign official deciding my economic outlook. Let the world hear your voice, Euro Zone. Thanks. | See title |
t3_10vp1q | AskReddit | I'm a young coach. How do I tell another, more experienced coach that what he's teaching my athletes is wrong? | So basically, I've only been coaching this sport for a few years, although I also competed at the junior level for a few (total involvement of ~14 years). The other coach got a medal at the Olympics (yeah...). Recently this coach got to teach a couple sessions with my athletes (ages 12-15). He's been teaching them advanced technique that I think is a) just plain useless/wrong and b) potentially dangerous for the kids in terms of injury.
If adults want to use that technique at a higher level, I will personally think it is incorrect, but I won't say anything. But when it is MY athletes, I feel like I should do something. But as I said, the other coach is very experienced (although I should mention, he hasn't taught anyone under 18 for many years, so I feel he is out of touch with what technique kids need to know). The other problem is that when they demonstrate this technique in future sessions, I will feel obligated to correct them, so they'll be getting different feedback and it could be confusing for them. I will need to work with this guy for the foreseeable future, but I cannot allow him to continue to undermine my position like this anymore. How do I tell him to stop without burning bridges? (Also, he's from eastern Europe, so his english can kind of suck sometimes). | I'm a young coach, and the more experienced, Olympian coach is teaching my young athletes technique that I think is wrong. How do I tell him to stop it? |
t3_yw3wt | dating_advice | (m) 19 can't tell if something is there | *Some Backstory*
Okay, so there is a this girl at my work (grocery store) she is 17 senior in high school. I am 19 who is attending community college this year so I will still be around the area.
I work with this girl that is kinda known as a flirt. I have been debating if we have a thing or not. We always ALWAYS make eye contact no matter where we see each other. I will be on the other side of the store and we will just instantly click. Everytime she walks past my department we either wave or she stops and talks to me just small talk. We kinda poke fun at each other with our jobs. For instance I never see her at the registers she is always walking past the department I work in. She playfully gives me the finger then always gives me this smile. I have been trying to figure out if she is into me or not. I am really bad at telling. My friend told me that I should just ask for her number and try and find common interest but I don't want to ask because I would have to see her whenever I work if I were to get rejected.
Am I thinking correctly? or am I out of line? | Work with a girl we kinda 'flirt' but am afraid to make a move because I don't want to make the workplace awkward. |
t3_27llqc | tifu | TIFU by not realizing what was going on in Godzilla 2014 until the last 3 seconds of the film (Godzilla 2014 SPOILER) | I was watching Godzilla 2014 with my girlfriend tonight. I downloaded a not-so-great movie theater version and I couldn't exactly tell what was going on and the subtitles were not in English.
Anyway, were watching the movie and I'm like okay okay... revenge of walt/bryan cranston's wife, revenge of bryan cranston... I'm understanding the movie. The movie is SO DARK I can barely see anything, but I understand there's some crazy ass male/female gigantic zerg-like creatures spawning hot-air balloon babies and Godzilla is fighting them in SF for whatever reason. Sick battles. Why are the humans even there? Just let them fight. So finally, Godzilla and the Zerg die! Woohoo! Both the bad guys died.
The final scene, they're walking out to Godzilla's dead body and he gets up. OH SHIT. At this point, I still haven't realized Godzilla was there to save them from the monster Zerg. I thought they were just fighting it out for Gigantic monster territory. So I freak out and I'm all like "Oh shit they gonna die". And my girlfriend looks at me like I'm retarded. She knew Godzilla saved them.
Then he swims out to sea and they're all happy and I get it. The end. | Didn't understand the plot of Godzilla 2014 until 3 seconds left in the movie. |
t3_2dtca3 | askwomenadvice | Feelings for a best friend (m18) (F19) | Okay ladies, this is tricky. I've been best friends with this girl for about 5 years. I (18) have always kinda had a thing for her but it's been getting really serious for me this last year. She (19) has always said "we're just friends I don't like him like that" to any one that has questioned our friendship. However lately she's been acting jealous when I talk about/to other girls, she's been using "babe" a lot when talking to me. So our friends have taken notice and they asked her again she says "im starting to get feelings for him, I just can't tell him because I'm afraid that I'll lose those feelings like I have with other guys" she's notorious for pushing her feelings down with nearly every guy, so the fact she even fessed up to liking me is big. My friends told me right away cause they want me to do something about it before it's too late, and honestly, I do too. My question is what the hell do I do about it? She's very reserved about displaying emotions so it's hard to pick up on how she's thinking when we hang out, and of course I have my hesitation. So, what do you guys think? Thank you in advance | I have feelings for my best friend, she says to mutual friends she does to but is afraid to tell me because it might just be a repeat of her past |
t3_1p7l3u | relationships | Me [18M] with my ex[17F], just friends but would get back together if "spark" was found | My ex of 2.5 years, lets call her Sally, and I broke up in January. We went through a no contact phase periodically, the most recent one ending in August. Since we the breakup, we have both been with other people, losing our virginities to those people as we never had sex when dating. The topic of getting back together has been discussed recently, and we both agreed that if it made sense we would definitely try it as we both still love and care deeply for one another.
The only thing keeping us from being together is the lack of a spark. Conversations are great, love spending time together, all that stuff is great, but theres just something missing and we both realize it. I really want to get back together with her, and she seems to as well. So I ask of you fine people, is it possible to create a spark? If so, in what way do you suggest? | ex and I are considering getting back together, so long as a spark between us can be found |
t3_1f84cv | tifu | TIFU getting caught by gf jacking off in her friend's bathroom | So my girlfriend and I were visiting a friend's house for a few days so that she could see her and I was tagging along to be a good boyfriend. But because we were staying at her friend's house, in her friend's room, we couldn't get our daily sex that I have grown accustomed to. Needless to say, "little tifuthwaway" wasn't very happy with me and was asking for some attention. While my girlfriend and her friend went to make dinner, I decided to go into her friend's bathroom and try to do a little business. However, I didn't expect my girlfriend to come walking in to tell me that dinner was ready. Now my girlfriend is staring at me awkwardly while my hand is around "little tifuthwaway" and she asks, "What is that on your hand?" to which I honestly, but dejectedly reply, "Friend X's hair conditioner." Needless to say, I haven't gotten many words from her in the last 3 hours and dinner was very weird. | No sex at friend's house for a few days, went to jack off in bathroom, gf walked in |
t3_1nyzrc | relationships | Me "geeky" [26M], seeking advice on how to choose between "beautiful" and "shared interests" girls. | So, little bit of background that got me thinking of this. Of course it all started with my ex GF, that broke up with me 2-3 months ago. We were together for 2 and a half years, she is really beautiful, sweet, kind and loving, although we kind of lacked shared interests (<-reason she broke up), but we could talk forever about all sorts of stuff. I honestly thought that she was the one, but she didn't mentally stimulate me.
So lately i've been wondering, i seem to be drawn to girls who are beautiful, but we never seem share any interests. But the thing is, i really don't think that any beautiful girl would ever share the same interests as i do. I'm not a huge geek, but I like Star Wars, Sci-Fi, and i work with IT and got a masters degree in Economics and IT. But i'm also a huge sports freak, i love football(soccer), i live and breath football. I know i'm probably gonna get downvoted for this, but i think it's important to say. I am good looking, i come from a very wealthy family, i got a lot of things going for me. It's expected of me from my family and social life, to be with a beautiful girl. I know i'm generalizing, but really, i don't think any hot and beautiful girl would be into those things, or at least the odds are very small.
So i guess, what i wanted to ask was for advice, by anyone who's struggling with the same thoughts. Choosing between looks or "brains/shared interests". Do i just keep looking until i find someone who has both? Am i just really really shallow, or whats wrong with me. | Don't know if i should go for brains or looks. How do fix my shallowness. |
t3_3clqpm | Advice | Are roommates expected to become friends with other roommates? | So basically, the housing market where I live is overpriced and grossly overvalued. Because of that fact, the only choice I have in getting somewhere to live is to move into some kind of sublet or roommate situation. I am not a college kid. Yeah, I'm 23, so I'm not exactly old but I've been on my own for a while now and don't plan to go to school until the spring. In addition to that, I have a lot things I trying to fix in my life (getting my credit back up to what it used to be, working, saving up money, getting over a breakup), so I'm really not in a good headspace to want to be or attempt to make friends with anyone, even a roommate. I kind of just want to pay my portion of the rent, and just go to my room kind of thing. Is it fucked up to want that ? Do I have to try and feign interest in having a friendship with someone in order to have a place to live ? Seems kind of plastic to me, and that would really make it hard to feel even remotely at home. | Do I have to forge a friendship with a roommate or can I just pay my portion of the rent and be a recluse in the room? |
t3_1bm4zl | relationships | Girlfriend [F 22] said she doesn't think I'm[M 20] physically attracted to her , and I think she's right. | We've been dating for nearly 8 months and it has been the best 8 months of my life. I love her more than anything and even though she doesn't look like a supermodel, I love everything about her. She unfortunately has low self-esteem about her body because her sister's are "better looking" than her and not overweight. I've been able to put her weight behind me and look past it because I fell in love with the person and not her body.
I still am attracted enough to her to want to have sex all the time but the other night she said to me that I don't find her physically attractive and that I "deal" with it because I love her and I still get to have sex. Laying in bed when I heard this I got very upset because it is mostly true. I don't think I should have to feel as bad as I do about something this isn't in my control. I didn't know how to react and to say. I tried tor reassure her that she does not have to look like some skinny model for me to be attracted to. (Previous people that I have told her that 'looked good' were generally pretty skinny.)
I think that if she lost just 30 pounds or so I would be much more attracted to her and that she would feel more confident in her own body. She might be motivated enough to lose the weight but I am not sure. She says in the past week she has lost 7 pounds with me cooking healthy dinners. I don't know how much she weights but I would estimate somewhere between 195 and 220 pounds. If she weighed somewhere near 175 or 180 I think she would be much more confident and would let me look at her naked.
I want to be with this girl more than anything and I can see myself with her for a long time if she was more confident in herself. I don't know what to do or how to act to be supportive but still push her to try to gain some confidence. What should I do?? | Girlfriend is overweight (by BMI) and says that even though I love her I'm not physically attracted to her. She's probably right but I think that if she gained some confidence and lost a little weight she would be much more happier and I would sincerely be attracted to her body. How should I be supportive in her endeavor to lose the weight? Should I leave if she's not serious about losing it? |
t3_2ghnza | relationships | Me (23m) her (21f) - FWB or is it more? | I'll keep this short.
Met girl online 4 years ago - chat literally everyday for hours on all topics.
Met girl in person, still hit it off really well like best of friends (3 years after initial contact).
Met girl overseas while we were both travelling and had drunken sex.
A month later she said she would love to travel with me so I flew to where she was.
At this point her travelling friend left us and so it was just her and I travelling around Indonesia, we would have sex at least twice a day and cuddle for literally hours on end... Rarely leaving the hotel. Basically we spent the remainder of the time as a couple, hugging kissing and generally being affectionate to each other.
Where my problem lies is I have tried to pursue a relationship with her in the past and have been met with nothing but negativity on the matter, but all that was before we had sex for the first time and had only met each other for a few days in person. I do think there is definitely potential for more as we bounce off each other - the sex is amazing and I don't regret a second of her company, I think of her as my best friend and she has said similar about me. | don't know how to pursue more with FWB |
t3_3shdob | relationships | My SO [19F] is all of the sudden going on a diet and I don't know how to deal with it | My girlfriend has all of the sudden started dieting in a rather extreme way, she only eats a few slices of bread a day, and maybe a piece of fruit. I tried to be supportive of her earlier efforts but I just think that she is currently eating way to little, and I really don't know how to deal with this. I tried to get her as far as to at least eat a little bit more, but this has failed, I don't really want to pressure, but I'm also afraid that she is just eating to little.
So coming to the obvious question, how do I support my girlfriend while at the same time make sure she is eating at least a reasonable amount? Is it even my responsibility to make sure she is eating enough? | My girlfriend is dieting and I really don't know how to deal with it |
t3_4ocahj | relationships | best friend(25F) my (25M) need for attention is getting on her nerves. | my friend works in the entertainment business and has crazy schedules and is married too. We don't meet frequently coz of that. I am what u might call a "nice guy" (trying to get better but apparently not fast enough). recently we met after a long period and she was still busy with work on her phone. I stormed out as I felt left out. Later I let her know that I felt bad that she couldn't keep her work aside for sometime for my sake. she replied that she has crazy work timings and I should understand.
I do understand that part and if that was it I would have happily let this thing go. but she ended it with " ur call for attention is getting on my nerves". I am not denying anything here. may be I did overdo things. but I just feel so hurt that she would say such a thing to me. Especially when she was the one asking me to become forward with people and ask for what I need. I feel empty and lost. | best friend said I seek too much attention from her and it pisses her off. |
t3_f9tn5 | AskReddit | Reddit my family is in a financial crisis. Don't know where to turn. Any sound advice helps! | My parents are 1st generation immigrants and we have a hard time with our language, cultural, and generational barriers. My dad is self employed, but for the past few years the business has not been doing well and my mom just lost her job which was the only steady income they had. My dad is not fully transparent with their current financial information. For whatever reason we do not know the extent of their debt, expenses or anything financially related.
Due to previous medical situations my parents have no savings left.
They have maxed out numerous credit cards, a mortgage, and possibly other loans we are not aware of.
They have been rejected for home equity loans and new credit cards which would indicate poor credit.
Their only saving grace is that they are sitting on two properties (one home and one business). The business is fully paid for and the home has maybe 200k left on the mortgage (back from 1997). We have estimated the house to be worth approximately 900K before the housing market collapsed and the business property to be worth approximately 500k before the economy tanked.
It's hard for me to estimate how much debt they actually have, but they have been "getting by" with roughly $2500 a month but they still ask for money every now and then. Now with my mom's job loss they are in a bind and asking for several thousand dollars that we don't feel comfortable just handing over without knowing that they'll be able to make responsible decisions.
My dad does not have a solid background in finance but has been managing the finances his whole life. It is hard for him to relinquish control or believe anyone else can make a better decision than himself. He wants to scrape by with our help until he is eligible for social security (another 5 years).
I whole heartedly believe he is making poor choices, and even with social security they cannot survive with their basic costs of living.
What are the correct steps we need to take to properly evaluate their situation and make a smart choice on how to manage their debt/assets? | My parents have an unknown amount of debt that is most likely in the six figures, they have no income but have two properties. What are the next steps for help in the right direction? |
t3_3zrkj2 | loseit | I'm a teen, in an asian household, and I just broke my diet- feeling like poo | The reason I state that I'm a teen and also in an Asian household is because: 1) The days when my mom is home she always prepares korean food after i come home from school. Today was "kimchi samgyeopsal" which is just kimchi + pork belly. Not the healthiest meal.. On the side she gave me a godfather sandwich.
I really REALLY can't tell her I won't eat the food, so I stuffed it down. Anyways, I know most of you at this point are thinking: "You can eat it just don't overeat." That's where im guilty- I ate (if i estimate very roughly) about let's say 1500-2000 calories.
It's currently 3:02 pm and I feel like complete shit. I was doing so well on my lifestyle change until today. Everything I look at looks appetizing to me but I'm holding it back through water&green tea.
Not to mention I have the urge to workout tonight in an attempt to equalize the amount of calories I ate. But, obviously lifting a few weights won't do shit. | i messed up & overate, how can i stay on track and not let this tilt me? and, is this detrimental to how i've been eating the past few days? |
t3_35vix4 | relationships | Me [26/F] with my boyfriend [26/M] 4.7 year LTR, I think I'm not as in love with him anymore and I met someone, I don't know what's right. | My boyfriend and I have been in a very loving, supportive, very affectionate, but lacking sexually, relationship for nearly 5 years. We've expected to get married for years and he just moved with me to CA to make me happy.
The caveat: I have been unfulfilled sexually with him for a couple of years, I've communicated as clearly and fully as I could with him, from advice I've and stories I've lurked on in here and r/sex. We came to an understanding two years ago that he needs to meet me in the middle and try to do more with me, but after years of patiently and gently encouraging him and asking for more, we still only have sex about 1-2 times a month, if that. At this point, I'm finding that I am not really attracted to him anymore and I think it's because I've been waiting for so long for him to live up to what we agreed that I have come to accept, unconsciously, not having a sexual relationship with him and I no longer really want to have sex with him. This makes me incredibly sad because I still love him. But I feel as though we're just best friends and roommates. For the first time in a long time, I don't feel like I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But I really still love him and don't want to hurt him. Maybe this can be addressed still? Should I still give us a chance?
I started a new job 1 months ago and met someone who I'm extraordinarily attracted to and really starting to like. I slept at his house (no sex, just cuddling and kissing) and I don't feel that it was wrong. Feelings are crazy though, and I don't know what to think anymore.
How do I figure out what is really right for me, and what is right overall? | I've become less attracted to my LTR boyfriend because of our sexually unfulfilling relationship, which we have fully communicated about 2 years ago to address, it hasn't been, and now I've met someone who I'm feeling really strongly for. What is right? |
t3_2ha9lj | relationships | My girlfriend [18F] broke up with me [19M] and I'm not coping well. | We dated for a year. Her and I never dated anyone before and it was
an incredible relationship. Many fights, I admit but we loved each other.
A couple months back I was forced to move away for school causing it
to be even harder. She broke up with me last week and we both
promised we wouldn't hurt each other or see someone else for a while.
It seemed reasonable, how could we see someone else right after a
year long relationship? Well she did. I chased her for 9 months before
we started dating just to get her out on a date. Some guy got her in a
couple hours. I'm so hurt and I don't know what to do. I take Tylenol all
day, I disconnected my phone, Facebook, Twitter and all other forms of
social media. Some guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. | My girlfriend broke up with me and moved on quickly. I have |
t3_3n4ww8 | relationships | Need ideas to help out my super busy boyfriend | My boyfriend is currently going through some really intense times at work right now and has been working 9-14 hour days for the past two weeks and will continue to do so for at least another two weeks. We've got a one day get-away at a winery set up for this weekend, but I wanted to do something else for him as well. I was thinking about making a little care package or something that he could take with him that might help him make it through the day, but all I could think to put in there would be Red Bull. I'm not necessarily set on that idea, was just one thing I thought of.
Some info that might help out:
He has an office job, so it's not like he's doing physical labor or anything like that; they're at a crunch point right now and a lot of important decisions need to be made which is why he has such long hours right now. We've been in a relationship for almost 3 years and live together. We're both huge nerds that play a lot of video/board games and we do like our boozery. | Boyfriend is stressed/overworked and I'm trying to think of cute ways to help him out. |
t3_n5k78 | AskReddit | Lenovo is really screwing me over here. What can I do about this? | Here's the story:
I bought a ThinkPad in September 2010 directly from Lenovo. I had no issues at all, and the computer still works fine. However, I wanted to purchase an additional 2 years of warranty coverage, just because I know how these things can burn through systemboards some time. I called on November 2nd of this year to purchase a warranty, and the sales associate offered me a 3 year depot warranty for $99, with the start date being the original warranty start date when I bought the computer. 2 weeks later I realize that the warranty was never applied, so I call back. They say for some reason it didn't go through, and they would reprocess it. Come to find out, that warranty is only available for computers that are still under the 1 year base warranty. I was never told this when I first purchased it, and it should have been something that was checked when the warranty was first offered. I've tried to escalate this, but keep getting shot down and no one will help me. All they will do is try to sell me a 2 year extension for $260, which is considerably more than the $99 that I was originally quoted. I just want what I was originally told I could have, and am not sure where to go from here. Any advice would be great! | Lenovo screwed up, and now won't honor my original order for an extended warranty. |
t3_2vnnwe | tifu | TIFU by being nice and helping my mum out with her laptop. | Background: my parents are in the mid to late 60's. I was raised very conservative and strict family. They are currently visiting me and my family and have been here for a week.
The FU: this morning Dad wanted a me to put some files on her computer. I decided to use Firefox to download what I needed. The main page of Firefox displays the most frequent websites they have visited. Second row is redtube. I'm shocked but somewhat intrigued to find out if it's my parents or a sibling who browsed it while they were borrowing it. I opened up browser history and seen that the website was visited just last night... I expand out the folder and.... Well I'm still trying to bleach my brain 6 hours later. | seen my parents browser history. Can't bleach my brain. |
t3_1nk2b1 | pettyrevenge | Steal my stuff? Drink mousewater. | Long time reader, first time poster, sorry if bad formatting, be nice, etc etc.
A little bit of background: My sister and I have never gotten along. It's been a little better now as we've gotten older, but she often still annoys the shit out of me. She still steals my stuff, is blatantly rude and disrespectful to our parents, is loud, crude, and annoying, and often has her friends over in huge groups and they make a TON of noise. This story is just one of many that's made me hate her.
The story: Last weekend I went home (I'm a college student and my house is about 20 minutes away by bus) for a D&D game with some of my friends. I brought my dice with me, which I've had for YEARS. I always use them and my sister knows this (sometimes she plays with us - not this time though). I had them in a clear plastic bag on my floor when she walks by my room and sees them. Immediately she claims that they're hers and that one of our cousins gave them to her for Christmas or something. Now this is utter bullshit. There is no doubt that these dice are mine. I bought them from a gaming store that's now closed and I love them. I tell her to fuck off. Later, I notice they've disappeared and so I raid her room while she's out with a friend and I find them in her desk.
The revenge: I own a pet snake that's about 1.5 feet long and about the width of a quarter. She eats mice that are roughly the size of my thumb and need to be defrosted in warm water prior to consumption. Well, my sister has this mug with the cast of Hetalia on it (she's a total weaboo). It's her favorite mug, so naturally I choose it to defrost the mouse for a good ten minutes or so. I also use her favorite chopsticks to give the mouse to my snake. Afterwards, I make tea with the mousewater and give it to her as a "peace offering." Take that, bitch. | Sister stole my dice, I gave her tea made from water that had a mouse thaw in it. |
t3_1dpkdu | relationships | Not sure whether I [19M] should forgive my best friend [19F] (who I dated) | We used to be best friends and then we began dating. At first everything was perfect and I was really happy. She then started saying very hurtful things and then broke up with me (after about 5 months).
A few months later, she told me she said those things because she thought it would be funny. I got really angry at her and distanced myself from her completely.
A few days ago she apologised to me saying that she only did those things because she wasn't ready for a relationship and couldn't handle her emotions. She said she wants another chance at least at being friends and that she was really sad and guilty when I stopped being friends with her.
Although I miss our friendship as well, I don't know whether to try to normalise things or not. | dated best friend, she became awful and said it was for the lols. Apologised later leaving me confused. |
t3_3ajo7m | relationships | I (26F) am too insecure and needy with my boyfriend (32M) | Hi reddit.
I'm dating this absolutely fantastic guy. He's seriously wonderful in every single way and he's everything that I've wanted in a relationship.
The problem is that I'm an incredibly needy and insecure person. Sometimes he won't text me back after like an hour or two and I start to freak out and send him a million texts and phone calls. I keep thinking that he's decided that he doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want to date me anymore no matter what he says. This obviously has caused him a lot of stress. He's beginning to feel like he can't make me happy when the exact opposite is true.
What do I do? How can I stop acting like this to give him his breathing room and space and let him know that he does make happy and that I know he loves me? | I'm too insecure and needy and it's starting to push my boyfriend away. What can I do? |
t3_um8pr | tifu | TIFU accidentally gave toll booth 2 nickels sandwiched between 2 quarters. Now I have a court summons over $.40! [X-Post from /r/Maine] | TIFUpdate:
The part that really frosts my ass is that my car in under my lady's EZ-Pass. If I had just rolled through that it would have been oh silly me I don't have the pass in the car.
Nope I try to do the right thing, ACCIDENTALLY give incorrect change and get berated by the state trooper. He asks me in the most condescending tone, "You know how to count, right? How old are you? You went to elementary school?" I answer, "Yup."
"Middle school?" He asks.
"Yup." I answer.
Tone gets even more sarcastic.
He asks me, "High school?"
I say, "Yes. Sir." Being sure to enunciate each word loud and clear.
He goes on with, "Some college?!"
"That's correct officer, finished even." I answer more quickly and coldly.
He then let's me know he has no reason to believe that I made a mistake and was actively trying to rip the state off. I show him the multiple quarters, dimes and nickels at my disposal that can make this situation go away. He huffs and goes back to his car. For 15 MINUTES!
I knew there was no more discussion to be had with this man. He handed me my summons for "theft by deception" had me sign and asked if I had any questions. I asked what class crime this was and he told me it was a misdemeanor. He then told me I should be careful since toll took a pic of my license plate they could suspend my registration. | I made a mistake. My question I guess is do I call and file a complaint? He was super sarcastic, condescending and rude. Officer was not interested in a dialogue and had mind made up before reaching my car. What would you do reddit? |
t3_39k74s | relationships | Should I [M21] confront my SO [F21] about text messages? | Just for some background information, my SO does not currently want to be in a relationship, but I do. She says it would make our relationship worse and she doesn't want to feel the extra pressure of feeling obligated to text or hangout with me in case shes having a tough week. We have been currently been "talking" for 5 months.
My SO has told me about her high school sweetheart and how he was always the one that got away. She snooped threw my phone to find out some things that were going on with my friend that I wasn't suppose to talk about. So in turn, I did it to her as well. I found very inappropriate text messages from him saying things like "I bet you miss my balls hitting the back of you," "If we ever hung out I wouldn't trust myself to not make a move." So I confronted her about it and we had a fight, talked it out and its in the past.
She made me delete an old picture of my ex girlfriend off of Instagram. For some reason I got a bad vibe from it and decided to look at her phone again. There are a lot of guys that call her beautiful, babe, and make flirty comments with her. She doesn't flirt back, but she also doesn't tell them shes with someone.
My SO and her friend have been recently messaging each other about this "really hot guy that comes into her work." My SO has been saying things like how hot he is and how "They would make beautiful babies."
Would you guys confront my SO about this? I want the flirting from guys to stop, and I know this wont stop it 100% but I feel like just being Facebook official is what it takes.
I also feel like I'm being strung along and I was thinking that with the text messages from her high school sweetheart, and the text messages I'm seeing now, that I should give her an ultimatum. Either were Facebook official by the end of the month of that it.
I really need your thoughts and advice, please be as honest as possible. | Girlfriend doesn't want to be in a official relationship, saw flirty and reoccurring inappropriate text messages. Thinking about giving her an ultimatum |
t3_rcg1g | AskReddit | Trying to get back into shape, any tips. | Hey Reddit,
So I'm 20 years old and in college. I played baseball for a good amount of years in my life including four years in high school, but I've decided I want to tryout for my college team this year. My main concern is that I've fallen out of shape. I can still do the basics of the sport, I'm just out of shape. And going into college baseball, I want to be in the best shape possible. I started running again, and going to the gym on and off. I'm ready to take my work outs seriously again though. Is there anything people can give as advice or what I should do? I'm going to start weight lifting again as well, which I also haven't done since I left high school and it's really taken an impact on me. I've been drinking almost nothing but water recently, I love milk and sweet tea so I still drink those, but it's pretty much water, water, water for me. What sorts of food should I start eating, and which should I cut out completely! I'm currently about 5'11" and weight about 220 pounds, I'm a stocky guy with massive shoulders. I know this will be a long process, and I'm ready to accept it. So any diet tips, protein pills, drinks, or anything else I should be taking, workouts I can start doing, (At home and gym), and activities I should maybe take up.
Thanks for anything reply's I get back! | I want to get back into shape and tryout for my college baseball team. Looking for workout plans, diet plans, protein pills, drinks, or anything else I should be taking, and other activities that I could do to help prep myself. |
t3_15nu74 | AskReddit | Why do we get a second and third "wind"? | I found myself exhausted yesterday after a normal 18+ hour day of miscellaneous activities like work, family, errands etc.
It's Friday night beginning of a 4 day weekend and contemplating going to bed at 10 pm like usual. At this point I don't want to waste a "night off" and miss out on gaming or reading a book so I decide what the hell I will read for 20 minutes before bed and end up without realizing catching a "second wind".
2 AM rolls by and same scenario but decide man I will play some BOI:WOTL and then hit the hay. I catch a "third wind" and I very surprised realize its 5:30 IN THE MORNING and force myself to sleep much more awake than I was nearly 8 hours ago.
How and why does this happen?!? I never intended to stay up so late because its not how I live my life anymore. I am not one to stay up over 24hrs but this happens to me on occasion and am always surprised. Anyone else get this? | I don't want to waste the night, end up staying awake over 24hrs. COMPLETELY out of character for me. Am I alone out there? |
t3_2i0j78 | tifu | TIFU by pressing the 'Random Subreddit' button | This happened today while I was at work and now feel like a complete monster.
During my dinner break I was sat around with a few colleagues doing the usual break time ritual, when I made the worst choice of my entire life, I always found that random subreddit button intriguing and it got to the point where it was almost mocking me with its own shrouded mystery, so i put on my big boy pants and pressed the shit out of that button feeling amazing that I finally overcame the mystery only to be face with one of the worst things I've ever seen, that right folks r/AnimalPorn I was there with a screen full of animals fucking... Safe to say I think am now out of the friendship circle tomorrow is going to be a loooong day | Finally grew balls to press mysterious button, made it look like I watch animals fuck |
t3_35ki4u | GetMotivated | [Discussion] Lacking motivation for martial arts training alone | *A little big of background:* did karate as a kid (5-8 years old approx), TWD at around 12y/o but quit before yellow belt (belts fees, I didnt even learn how to kick properly...). Got back into TWD last year up until September-ish when I had to focus on studies so I stopped as soon as I got my green belt.
First off Id like to say that my issue is nothing tragic, I just want to hear others opinions
*Why Im here:* honestly, I feel down because I love Taekwondo however I can only practice alone. A family friend is a TWD trainer and she got me to my green belt and Im very grateful for her however I find training alone can get really dull sometimes. I really love competition and the bonds that are made in group sports. There are no tournaments nearby either so that is not an option. Tried talking a few friends into taekwondo but they didnt last a few months.
Im out of ideas? Im defenitely going back to taekwondo, its just irritating me that I get a little 'bored' by myself sometimes (I mean, I don't mind being alone most of the time but for TWD I would love some competition and such..). If anyone has any advice to share Id be glad! | I love taekwondo but have to train alone with instructor (no other option), gets dull because I also love competition (and interacting with different humans?). I would like to know if you have any advice. |
t3_526o7f | dating_advice | Should I message this girl that I have been flirting with for a year? | I work at a local cafe in my city and ever since my first day I have come across this really beautiful girl that has become a regular at my store. I consider myself a great "opener" in that I have no problem being flirty with women that come through my store (Customer service am I right?) and with this girl I felt like we hit it right off the bat. Soon after our first meet she starts coming in as usual but always giving me a smile, a wave, and our conversations get longer each time, she has even introduced me to her mother! This goes on for about a year and all my coworkers tell me to go for it, to them they say its very probable that she is interested romantically and heck even I am somewhat convinced.
One day I make the firm decision to ask her out the next time I see her...well out of all the luck in the world I don't see her for a very long time, in fact lately she has virtually stopped coming by, not entirely though my coworkers do still see her come in from time to time but because of my schedule change it's either I barely missed her or it was on a day I was off.
It has been months now and I am just really bummed by this really unfortunate happening. Now for today, I recently looked up a friend of mine on LinkedIn, she and I go to the same school and work in the same lab on campus, she also has the same exact name as the girl that I have been eagerly waiting for to ask out and upon searching for her I also stumbled across that very girl! Now I know LinkedIn is professional so I take it over to Facebook and there she is. I asked friends and coworkers about my situation but they are actually pretty split evenly on either messaging her and not.
I need to quit this job soon and truth be told I really do hope to see her one last time before I do but so far it isn't looking good, what is your advice people of Reddit?? | Been talking to this girl at work for a year, pretty certain we like each other and was going to ask her out but haven't seen her since, found her on Facebook and pondering if I should message or not. (Above message does more justice to this!) |
t3_f0sn6 | AskReddit | How can I learn spanish through immersion w/ no $$$ | I am a 24 yr old college student. I am Mexican and am often questioned by both friends and family as to why I don't speak spanish though the clear answer is that my parents just never taught me.
I want to learn to speak Spanish fluently for many reasons, but mainly I'd prefer to learn through immersion:
My grades are below par because I dropped out after a family death and didn't think to withdraw from classes.
I am currently working a part-time job at a major tech company that is probably willing to offer me a full time job as soon as i graduate.
I am in a single parent household at the moment and am only working part-time so I don't have money to whisk myself away to another country for a few months.
My major motivators are:
Being able to better communicate with some of the elders of my family that only speak spanish and my Major is International Business; my current employer has stated to me on numerous occasions that they are trying to expand to Latin America and if at the time of my graduation (1 year from now) I am fluent in spanish, they would like to offer me a position as one of the leads for that expansion.
As you can see, I am very motivated but I don't know what step I can take to immerse myself in the language. Any help is greatly appreciated!!! | I wanna speak spanish AHORA! |
t3_46v5dn | relationships | Me (27F) with many friends and bf(31M) - everybody on awesome boarding vacation but teeensy dilemma for me | Hi r/relationships! Avid reader here with a throwaway. (On mobile)
So I am in the middle of an amazing and much needed ski/ boarding vacation with 10 friends/ boyfriend! ive been with boyfriend for a little over a year and he gets along well with everyone in this group which is including 3 of my best friends from over 20 years ago.
We are being all sweet and lovey last night and he said he "wants to have a night to ourselves" - we missed valentines day due to work and we are going to find a day to redo it - he said this would be a perfect opportunity.
Well we are only here three nights. And to be honest I don't get to see my friends very much anymore due to work and such. This trip was crazy that everyone was able to go. I never thought we could all get together again this this ever again.
So to be honest I really don't want to miss a night with everyone since we don't have very many.
Am I being selfish to my boyfriend who is being sweet and trying to make a romantic gesture?
Any advice on what to say would be appreciated as I feel like I'm going to be disappointing someone (either friends or bf) - or a gentle way to let him down? | nothing too crazy here - but who do I pick on a short vacation, awesome boyfriend, or awesome best friends? |
t3_2846wa | relationship_advice | [21/m] Guy kissed my girlfriend [19/f] at a bar, not sure how to feel. | My girlfriend just told me that one week ago when she was visiting another state that when she was at a bar a guy made out with her, or kissed her on the lip. She said she moved away when she realized what he was doing and told him she had a boyfriend and left. She was with a group of friends previously, she just met him that night, friend of a friend, and at one point everyone got up and she was left with him sitting down and he made his move. They had only had a conversation before that. Later that night he told her to go home with him and she refused. She said only until later that night she realized that guy was a jerk but when it first happened to her she was just shocked. I guess I would feel better if she told me she pushed him away and yelled at him or something.
Im not sure how to feel. I trust her and she explained to me that she was afraid of my reaction because I had already gotten upset that very night that she was going out drinking with a bunch of people I didnt know (I was jealous/uncomfortable). I know its not her fault and these things happen but I still cant help but feel shitty and I was just getting over the whole her going out getting drunk with other people thing but now everytime she does that I feel like im going to remember this situation and feel uneasy.
Not sure the next steps for me to take from here. | Guy kissed my girlfriend at a bar, she rejected him but didnt tell me until a week after. |
t3_1nkefd | relationships | [24 M] Long time single, stuck on the one I'll never have. | I've been single for 5 years now, after a long-term, serious relationship, which ended abruptly and unexpectedly (suspected cheating, followed by her telling me she never loved me). I was devastated for a long time, but I eventually met another girl. She's everything that I could have ever wanted, but she doesn't want me.
We met through friends/work back in college and our relationship began with her cheating on her boyfriend with me (Yes, I know, red flag).
I have on multiple occasions expressed my feelings for her and visa versa. I have asked her out multiple times over the 4 years we've known each other, only to be rejected with the "I just want to be single" bit, followed by her dating a new piece of trash a few weeks later. We have a special, real connection, but I know that I am stuck in the perpetual friend-zone. Yes, we have physical/sexual relationship as well as a strong emotional relationship, so it's not just me idolizing her, it's something real.
She constantly dates losers, always looking for something better (even though they're all just the same). All the while, I'm her backup when things go south with those relationships. I never date anyone, and never would because I too much fear missing my chance to finally be in a real relationship with her.
I know that it will never happen and that's okay. I accept it. | In love with a girl who also loves me, but doesn't want to be with me. |
t3_4wlcr7 | relationships | I [18 M] need help with my girlfriend [20 F], she has been an au-pair for 2 weeks, and is already cancelling our trip to Australia and wanna break up with me need advice | hello reddit
So as the titel claims my girlfriend and i have been together for 9 months now, and she has now gone to Australia for 6 months to be an aupair (we live in Denmark), she has now been there for 2 weeks and today she called to tell me that the trip to Australia we had planned for 4 months had a change of plans, she told me that some people have told me she should go alene to get more out of the trip. This of course saddened me alot and made me ask her if its because she doesnt love me anymore, but she Said that wasnt it. I May have been a little angry talking to her since i thought it was a really weird plan and it came of of nothing. Now she Wong return my calls and doesnt wanna answer my messages even though she Saw them.
Her brother and best friend have told me she just needs some more time to adapt to talking Care of 3 children 24/7 and therefore is really stressed and that she will become "herself" again.
But i just really need some advice from outside people about what i should do. And its probably Worth mentioning that she has had problems with depression a couple of years ago and i suspect that she is starting to feel that Way again. | girlfriend through 9 months wanna cancel the part where i travel with her for 2 months and i feel like she doesnt love me, some say its because of stress but i just need advice. |
t3_2sk84s | relationships | I'm a recently divorced SingleFather [32M] dating my SingleMother [27F] girlfriend for 3 months. Worried about rebounds, loneliness, parenting. | Separated for 6 months (10 year relationship, 5 years of it married) with divorce papers getting signed in the next few weeks. Divorce was fairly amicable and I have full custody of my kids (4yo and 2yo).
I signed up for online dating about a month after separating. It went very well, had a lot of interest and got a long great with several ladies. My wife was the first and only person I had ever had sex with, so casual dating was great for getting myself over the nerves of being physical with new people and I was feeling much more confident and happy.
After a few months and a few relationships I met my current girlfriend. We were very similar and hit it off immediately. I closed all of my online dating accounts and broke off anything I had simmering on the side We have been completely exclusive. Things have been amazing, I have never been happier in a relationship.
I haven't introduced my new girlfriend to anyone in my family, but I have discussed the relationship with them. I believe that my family is still dealing with my divorce and they have mentioned being concerned about me getting into "rebound" relationships.
I don't believe this relationship is a "rebound". Honestly, it is the healthiest relationship that I have ever had. We're both extremely responsible and stable parents (she has a 2 year old as well). She's extremely kind, patient, caring and we have very similar parenting styles.
But.... The cliche of a "rebound" keeps bouncing around my head.
My girlfriend also lives about an hour away in another city. So things have been moving very slowly. We just spend the odd weekend together when both of our ex's have the kids.
I admit that it is very hard to be alone lately. There is a large pull to be around friends or my girlfriend whenever I'm not busy with the kids or work.
Does this all seem very risky? Am I over thinking things? Both myself and my girlfriend are falling head over heels for each other, but we're being honest and cautious at the same time. | Single-Father of two dating a Single-Mother of one. We're taking it very slowly and I dated a few girls before her after being separated. Worried about possibly being a rebound and how long I should wait before getting seriously involved again. |
t3_4ym85u | relationships | (m22, f21) boyfriend slept with someone else early into our relationship...? | My boyfriend and I have had a pretty rocky start. We have been together about 6 months. I really love him a lot. But the other day he dropped a truth bomb on me and I don't know what to do.
We've broken up a couple times because we both were originally not really ready for a relationship. Things have gotten a lot better but like I said- rocky start. The first time we separated was initiated by me but he totally agreed and said we needed to think things over because we were both going through a lot, and were feeling overwhelmed. The night we discussed it we were laying in bed being emotional together and listening to sad music and having sex. It was sweet but sad at the same time. We were probably "broken up" for about 3 weeks, but we talked every day. Even if we didn't talk ALL day, he'd always say goodnight and how much he missed me and stuff.
Anyway. The other day he was feeling guilty about something and told me he had been keeping something from me but couldn't anymore. He told me that during that first break, he logged onto Tinder and started just swiping right on everyone. He ended up matching with this girl. They talked for however long and he drove 45 minutes to her house, and they had sex. He said he was feeling lonely and didn't know how to cope with it so he made a mistake and immediately regretted it. I feel so disgusted knowing that he was intimate with someone else while still talking to me and then got back with me like a week or two after. And while I know we were not "together" officially, it still feels like a huge betrayal. I can't stop imagining the two of them together, no matter how hard I try... It makes me feel sick.
Does anyone have any advice for how to get through this? Or similar experiences? | Boyfriend slept with someone a few weeks into our relationship during a break up. |
t3_1ra4p1 | relationships | Me [24 F] with my boyfriend[26 M] of 1 month, his job requires him to work away for 4 weeks or more at a time, with short notice. How to deal? | I've been in a relationship with my bf for around a month now, and he has been working in the city we both live in for this whole time.
Last week he had to go to another city to work for just a week, but he called yesterday to tell me that his boss only just told him that he now has to go to another contract straight away.
This new contract is across the other side of the country and he will be gone for about 4 weeks, but possibly more, depending on how long it actually takes to finish the project.
This is the nature of his work, but I am missing him a lot already after spending so much time together with him.
Now that there will be no physical contact for 4 weeks, what are some tips with coping with the distance, especially being so early on in the relationship. | New relationship of one month, boyfriend has to work away for 4 weeks, any tips on coping? |
t3_44twgp | tifu | Tifu with some ravioli | This actually happened today a few hours ago. So I'm a truck driver and I'm sitting at a shipper backed into a loading dock. I've been there about 3 hours at this point (ended up being there 7 and I still have to go back tomorrow). I was starving so I decided to eat some ravioli out of my stash. I set the can on the floor in front of the olé bunk heater and forget it for about twenty minutes while I'm browsing reddit. I go to open it and realize the only can opener I have is a crappy one on a multi - tool. So I'm cutting this thing open and I slip and gash my right index finger open on the lid. It was bad, I could see bone. So finger in mouth I pull out my first aid kit about that time the repair guy putting a new battery in my trailer decides he needs to talk to me. I dig through my kit till I find what I'm looking for; gauze, an alcohol wipe, and super glue. While I'm talking apparently some blood ran down my chin into my beard so the repair guy is kinda just staring at me. I use the gauze to temporarily staunch the flow while I finish with him then I sterilize the cut best I can and fill it full of super glue. Now I have done this before but I forgot one thing. Super glue burns like hell! So I'm trying to blow it dry ( yeah that works... dumbass) and wrap it in a bandaid so I can go inside and take care of business. I walk into the shipping department up to the clerk's desk and she is just staring at me like I'm crazy. I tell her the trailer is fixed and they can load it now. In the course of talking about getting everything loaded I ask where the bathroom is and she points me to it. I go in handle my business and am washing my hands when I look into the mirror and see the blood on my face. If you mage it this far I know what you are asking..... what about the ravioli??? It thankfully was not contaminated by my blood and was delicious! | cut my finger on a can lid, looked crazy ate ravioli! |
t3_53vk0t | relationships | Advice needed about my sister (18) and her 2year relationship with her boyfriend (37) | Hi all,
As a bit of background, my sister and I have a big gap in age and I have been living in a different country for the past 6 years.
She told me a couple of months before her 18th birthday that she had a boyfriend and that it had been 2years. I was happy for her as she seemed happy, however after I asked her more questions, she admitted he was 37. Which means, she was 16 when they became a couple and he was 34... Now to me the difference in age can be fine, however she was underage.
I have tried to appear supportive of the relationship so she felt she could speak to me as no one else in the family knows and she's only told a couple of her friends that she had a boyfriend.
I don't feel I can tell my parents about this for two reasons: One, she didn't tell anyone when I opened up to her about being gay and in a relationship 8years ago. Two, she has just started a very expensive school which my parents are financing. When I told my parents about myself, they disowned me for awhile and it has never been the same since. I don't want her to have to go through what I went through if they reacted similarly to this situation.
As she was turning 18 and moving 5 hours away from our town, I was hoping the relationship was just going to die down. It has only been a couple of weeks, but I know he actually went down to her new flat this weekend and they are looking for a tattoo shop...
Any advice would be appreciated | Advice about my sister (18) and her secret 2year relationship with a 37year old man |
t3_2iyi4v | relationships | Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] 5 years, is going to meet an online male friend who hates me/likes her | So, to sum up a bit of history and get to the main problem I'm having. My gf is pretty shy is RL, we met online 6 years ago and after about a year of me driving 2 hours every weekend she finally moved in with me. She has always been a big flirt online in games we play together ect. The problem is these guys seem to get attached after like a week or two of playing games with her and are "so in love" ect ect.
I've never had a problem with this as she never takes them seriously and never does anything that would actually break my trust that I know of. Part of it seems to be she has no friends here other than mine because she has horrible anxiety in person.
The problem I have run into now is that one of these guys decided to stop in for the weekend on his way home from college for the week. She has swore to me that its nothing but hanging out but this guy calls it a date and is like obsessed with her. He hates me for whatever reason, well his whole group of friends do.
Well, she told me she didn't want me to go with her to hang out with him because that would make it extremely awkward and that she doesn't seem him as anything more than a friend. We've also this week talked about getting engaged/ our future ect.
Am I overreacting worrying myself to the point that I haven't be able to eat since she left ect? I honestly don't feel she WOULD do anything plus the fact that she is on her period lead me to believe that anything def wouldn't happen. I asked her to change when she left last night and she did and she has kept in pretty good contract, texting once or twice an hour. | GF of 5 years is meeting an online guy alone who hates me/is obsessed with her. She has given me no real reason to not trust her but I can't help worry myself to death. Am I overreacting or should I assume this could be something more? |
t3_27cr48 | relationships | I [19M] am very happy with my girlfriend [18F], but her history of infidelity makes me worried about the future. | My girlfriend and I met this past August in our Freshman year of college. We hit it off immediately as friends, but always had this weird relationship that teetered back and forth between friends and something more. We finally decided to start dating in February and these past 4 months have been the best of my life. I feel that we are a really good match for one another and can honestly see this relationship reach new heights.
That being said, she had one major boyfriend before me and she dated him for 3 years, but with a couple breakups. She wasn't exactly faithful to him, having cheated on him a few times. What's worse is that he only knew about the first time and decided to forgive her for it. Admittedly, their relationship was strained because he went off to college while she was still in high school, but that doesn't excuse her actions in my opinion.
She tells me that I'm a much better boyfriend than her ex was and that she was unhappy when she cheated on him. But she seems to blame him for her unhappiness at the time and not take responsibility for her actions. She seems ashamed of what she did, but she never admits total responsibility for her actions. This bothers me, because I don't feel like she was really sorry for what she did. We have talked about this before, but I feel like I'm trying to make her feel bad about herself.
The reason this has been bothering me lately is because she has been out of the country on a trip. She tells me that she could never dream about cheating on me because I'm so perfect, but I feel like that isn't the response I want to hear. I'm very conflicted. I completely trust her and feel like I shouldn't worry, but this small part of me is scared. I have strong feelings for her and I am worried that I am going to get too attached before I get my heart broken one day. I feel like a jerk for thinking this, but I don't know how to bring this up to her without making myself sound like I'm trying to control her or that I don't trust her. | Girlfriend has history of cheating on her only major ex-boyfriend. She admits it was a mistake, but blames her ex for her actions instead of herself, makes me worry about our future. |
t3_4m1u9a | relationships | Me [31M] with my wife [34F] 1 year, can I stay with mutual friends | My wife and I are probably divorcing, after many fights that lasted for days without real resolution. I finally called her out on abusive behaviors that I had put up with since prior to our wedding, and asked for counselling which she denied, because she thinks the problem is me.
Earlier in this particular argument, she threw all of my stuff from our bedroom into our spare bedroom, just scattered around, including furniture. She won't let me sleep on the couch in the spare bedroom (because it belonged to her before we were together), or the bed in our bedroom (same reason), or the couch in our livingroom (because it's a 'shared space'). So my only remaining option is to sleep on the floor in the spare room. Yay for sleeping bags, it's a fun camping adventure.
Why am I putting up with this? I actually have in past arguments, but I refuse to this time. However, she's threatened to destroy my things if I try to sleep on forbidden furniture (I work 9-5 and right now she doesn't every day, so there's a big window where my shit is quite vulnerable). When I tried to sleep on the living room couch, she sat in the dining room watching a show with the volume cranked to max (this is all after 3am, with work the next day for me).
So, I really need a temporary living situation, at least for now. I don't have a lot of close friends nearby, and there's really only one person I would consider asking for the favor. Problem is, his live-in girlfriend is also a long time friend of my wife (not an especially close friend, but they hang out regularly and run in the same broader social circles). As upset and lost as I am right now I don't know if it's fair either to them or to my wife to involve them. Right now they have no idea what's going on with us. I definitely don't want to be manipulative or perceived as alienating her from her friends but I really need somewhere to go. | Living at home has become impossible. Can I turn to mutual friends for support, or is that being selfish, manipulative, or rude? |
t3_4h2mx5 | relationships | My [20/F] brother [32/M] is having his bachelor party on my 21st birthday | Hi Reddit, I need some advice.
My brother is getting married to his fiancee in July, and I'm a bridesmaid. A while ago his fiancee asked if us bridesmaids could make it to her bachelorette party on the day that happened to be my birthday, and no less in Charleston, South Carolina (we're from NJ). Most of us said no and I thought she and my brother would reschedule their parties to be on some other weekend.
Well, I was wrong. I'm planning for my birthday as it's in 3 weeks and I asked my brother if he could come. He said no because he's having his bachelor's party then and didn't even apologize when I was obviously disappointed.
I'm really upset. I'm his only sibling and he knows my 21st is a big deal to me. It feels like he even forgot it was my birthday or doesn't care that he's missing it. If it were any other birthday, I wouldn't mind, but it's my 21st and he's my fucking brother and my only sibling. What should I do? We're planning something for Mother's Day but frankly I don't really want to see him right now. Should I talk to him about it? Or just deal with it? Our parents are upset with him too and told me not to take it personally because he's bad with planning but I think this is just really rude of him. Am I being selfish? | brother won't be around for my birthday because he planned his bachelor party for that weekend, of all the weekends he has before the wedding. Hurt and confused. |
t3_quv01 | AskReddit | Is, and how has, Reddit become it's own culture? | Sup Reddit,
I posted a while ago asking about topics for a writing assignment in one of my classes. This time, I'm already pretty much settled on the topic, but I'd love to have the input of Reddit... since I want to do my paper on Reddit. | How is Reddit a culture of itself, and how as Redditors do you feel we impact the world? |
t3_3ey5m2 | relationship_advice | My (f/25) sister (f/23) went behind my back and spoke with our boss about one of my clients to gain it as a client for her. | Here is the story, my sis just opened an accounting company ( apart of the family business in which we both work) since it´s new they have little experience and is very small and still very messy ( papers all over out house). She knows I work for a client that needs an accountant 24/7 so she spoke with our boss behind my back ( also a family member) even after I told her more than once that when her company gains experience I´d gladly pitch the idea and help her out. But since they dont have enough experience or employees at the moment that´s not the smartest move for this client since they have had a lot of issues with the IRS in the past and the client is incredibly demanding to the point I mainly only work for them.
Since she would do it for 1/3 of the money currently paid to the accounting firm previously hired the boss agreed with her plan, eventhough she doesnt have a certified accountant at the moment at her firm. I opposed firmly to this since its my main client and my work relies on the good work of an accountant.
Today I decided to quit since I cant be a part of this charede while people´s money is on the hands of someone without the proper certification or experience.
Did I went too far? Am I exagerating by quitting ? Adivice welcomed. | sister went behind my back and spoke with out boss about a client I manage to fire the accountanting firm they have and hire her personal company eventhough thats not the smartest move. |
t3_4jvutk | relationships | How can I [31/F] do more nice things for my SO [24/M] when I'm broke? | Using a throwaway because my SO is on Reddit.
We've been together for almost 4 years, and my SO is unbelievably wonderful. He's always supported me emotionally, and for some of our time together (including at present), financially as well. We have a solid relationship, we live together, and we're set to get married. There's no feeling of me owing him anything for everything he's done for me.
I want to do more things to show him how much I love and care about him.
The problem is, he's the sole breadwinner right now (I'm working on a startup right now, so while I'm working, I'm not currently making money), so I don't have my own money to spend on gifts, trips, or other surprises for him. He's the better cook, and though I'm getting better at it, my schedule doesn't always allow me to be home for dinner. He's also the one paying for groceries, so I don't always feel like preparing a nice meal is "something nice", since it comes out of his pocket.
He's a really self-sufficient, independent person. I keep the house clean, do most of the laundry, run errands for him whenever he needs, and do most of the grocery shopping (albeit with his money).
What else can I do for him that doesn't cost money, and doesn't necessarily require a go-ahead from him? I'd love to be able to give him things he doesn't ask for, but I know he would love. | How can I show my SO how much I love him, when I don't have my own money and I'm not a great cook (yet)? |
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