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t3_1stzhf | relationships | I [20F] am tired of the hold my 'Friend' [23M] of three months has on me | Three months ago I met a friend of a friend at the cinema. He was funny, charming, good looking and intelligent, and I was very attracted to him, but I wasn't expecting anything to happen. Turns out he was attracted to me as well, and we were intimate.
(Yes, I regret it happening that fast, I do)
We've seen each other maybe once a fortnight since then. We're absolutely not dating or even seeing each other. We just hook up. Problem is, though I'm doubtful as to whether I love him, he seems ti have some kind of hold on me in terms of I'm always excited/nervous to see him, and he makes me feel sort of giddy and idiotic.
I'm not the relationship type. Nor is he. I know he is very fond of me and I'll often catch him staring at me, but I know both of us are way too flighty and faithless to be in a relationship. Both of us hook up with other people, and the majority of the time I'm fine with the arrangement, but sometimes I get really depressed about the fact that I don't seem to have the same emotional grip on him. I'm not sure what to do. | Cute boy, idiot girl. Stupid decisions |
t3_3iorc7 | tifu | TIFU by letting my teacher look through my reddit subs. | A couple of a weeks ago (as is standard in these things) I was sitting in class with my super cool IT Teacher (Big Russian guy who loves to make dad jokes). Back on topic, I am sitting there in class browsing reddit minding my own business in the LoL and Minecraft sub-reddits. Fast forward a few minutes and this huge Russian teacher is behind me and says "Oh, you use Reddit too" to my surprise he didn't care at all. He then proceeded to ask to see what I was subbed to, so I stood up and leaned against a table whilst he looked through my subs. Without saying a word he stood up and went back to his chair. After class he asked me to remain behind and this was the point at which I knew something had gone wrong. So me being the shaky weirdo I am I shuffle up to his desk and ask him what's going on. He then leaned close to me and quietly said in his mild Russian accent. Listen Chris, If you wanna browse reddit instead of learning that's fine, believe me i've done my fair share of lurking in subs, but please for the love of god don't ever open /r/hardanal in my class. | Russian IT teacher went through my subs and found /r/hardanal I am forever embarrassed. |
t3_2d0scv | AskReddit | How did the people of reddit find their calling? | Being a sixteen year old going into their junior year of high school, my turn to leave the nest is approaching quick. I'm trying to hold on to every second I can, but time doesn't stop for someone to think about what they're to do after high school. My parents (both retired navy veterans) knew exactly what they wanted to do, so I don't have too much help from them (aside from, "whatever you want" and "we believe in you"). I have interests (academic: biology, engineering, and chemistry. Extra circular: wood crafts, mechanics, and computers) but my future seems fuzzy to me. I have no idea what to do. I'm just looking for any and all advice from this fabulouso community. | I'm a junior in highschool and am searching for advice on what to do after highschool |
t3_2kbubu | legaladvice | Is the code i've written mine ? (GER) | Hello /legaladvice,
Last year ive started a work placement / internship for a year and worked 4+ months on a webgame which idea came from my "mentor" that game has existed before with the same system and name, so its not "his" idea. i made the game more advanced and complex than the original one, because i wanted it to have my touch.
after i left the agency i had no longer access to the unfinished game, yet made a backup halfway through. yesterday i had a recap talk with my old boss and asked him about the game and if it was possible if i could have it. he tells me that my old "mentor" removed it from the server to his hard drive and doesnt want to give it to me.
as far as i know, because i made the game in that agency, my old boss owns it and has the rights over it.
is there any way that i could get it if i enforce it by law? the evidence is sadly little.
as written in the title, this takes place in germany, i do still appreciate all the input! | written game in agency as a project for 4+ months |
t3_3enfgc | tifu | TIFU by being born with Pyloric Stenosis [nsfw] | now, this obviously didn't happen today. or even this decade ago. it happened back when dial up was still fairly rare in the home, the best shows on TV were dexter's Lab, Johhny Bravo, cow and chicken and I am weasel, to name a few, and there's me, a 1-2 year old boy. and because of my age, most of this stuff is from 3rd hand infomation, because fuck if i remember that far back.
now, because of my Pyloric Stenosis, i could eat, but i couldn't properly "digest" my food. being my mothers first (well, technically second, but i'd rather not talk about it), she was really worried with how often i would be sick after eating, so she took me to the doctors about it. there was one doctor who said that i wasn't right, and they had to do something and another who was saying i was fine. they ended up arguing about it, and mid-argument, it hit. projectile vomit, a hell of a thing to see, right from a kid who couldn't be more than two. and the best bit? the guy who said i was fine was caught in it. had to go home and get changed.
if you don't believe me, i can update with the pic of the scar i still have from the op that soon followed. | sometimes the best way to get shit done is to puke over your opponents. |
t3_2t2847 | relationships | First LTR [24M] with [26M] 4 Years, Growing Pains or Growing Apart? | It's my first long term relationship and I'm prone to bouts of depression and do over think things. Not sure if this is just another one of those times.
We've lived together for about a year and a half and during that time he's been a student but had to leave the course. Since then I feel more like a mother at times than an equal or a partner - I do the majority of housework, while he sleeps away the days and stays up all night.
I've tried to bring it up in conversations but usually I approach the subject the wrong way or get frustrated. This sometimes results in physical violence - nothing too serious more outbursts of anger or he will lash out in an attempt to push me away etc.
I guess I'm really looking for advice on the following -
Is it wrong to want/expect someone without a job (actively looking) to fit around my schedule?
I work Monday - Friday 9am - 6pm. Nights I like to relax and spend time together - Weekends are the time I can get out. But the past few weekends I've been stuck doing housework or waiting for my boyfriend to wake up. (we live in the middle of nowhere and I can't drive)
Just a little aside on the above it does get embarrassing explaining to our friends and families that he is still in bed sometimes as late as 7pm.
How can I be better at bringing up things he doesn't want to talk about? Including:
Finding work
Sleeping routine
Helping out more around the house
Seeing a doctor about a few issues he may have
Hope this doesn't come across as too much of a rant. Just trying to make sense of it all and find a way to get the guy I fell in love with happy and back to himself again. | Bf left education a few months ago has become lazy, angry and distant. Looking for help. |
t3_3yg8ds | relationships | Regifting a good idea? | My (44f) bf's (27m) mother (46f) gave me a pair of Ugg boots for Christmas. I have never cared for Ugg; thus I have never wanted a pair. My daughter (12) has been asking for a pair since she was 8, but I couldn't justify spending that amount of money on still-growing feet. She now wears a 6.5 while I wear a 7. The Uggs are 7's and should fit her. Is it wrong for me to give her these boots, which I will never wear? My bf's mom and I get along great, and I don't want to do anything that would hurt her. | Is it wrong to give my daughter the Uggs my bf's mom gave me for Christmas since I don't like Uggs? |
t3_3i798i | relationships | Me [23 F] with my SO [23 M] 4.5 years, Is this an indication of financial disaster ahead? (xpost from r/personalfinance) | My SO and I [23M & 23F] are planning to get married, not in the near future but we've talked about a few things to ensure a smooth transition such as housing, children, etc. We're not getting married now as we think it's better for us to have a stable job first and a firm footing living on our own. However my SO is currently unemployed with a stem degree, with close to no money in his name (no bank account) and a few valuable assets. I'm currently enrolled as a research graduate w/ a 20k bank account and an imac as the only high value possession.
SO is the kind of person very keen to splurge whenever there's a bit money. His family is of no help as they take personal loans when they could still afford to eat out a couple of times a week. I'm not sure if this type of spending habit has rubbed off on him. Currently we take turns paying on (rare) dates, outings, etc. I've never specifically mention how much I have saved in the bank and am scared that he might go crazy when he knows there's money 'we' can spend. I'm more into living simply and sufficiently so I can provide for myself in retirement & enjoyment as well as for future kids. I also have a trust fund in which I'm not sure at what value.
I know I want to have separate accounts for salary payment and have equal % of both our monthly income into a joint account. How do I set the rules about what we spend from joint and what would categorise as personal spending? Can I encourage him towards a better state of money management? How do we come to middle ground in this case? | How to get on the same page with your SO regarding money management |
t3_2ly20i | relationships | (29/M), who has a question about his (24/f) ex gf | I will try to make this brief as possible. My ex had the the tendency to set rules, but if I set a rule like no locks on phones she would have a problem with it. In the beginning of the relationship I asked to use her phone and she snatched it back from me saying she didn't want to sew weird pictures of her and her sister which I thought was suspicious, now I'm no angel after her jealously became a problem I started to chat with other women but I had no intentions of ever meeting them. The problem is I don't really have friends so if I'm going through something she was really all I had and if the subject was about her I obviously couldn't discuss it and hold it in. Anyway to get to my main point, we broke up and still tried to work out it, you'd still think we was a couple, so she went on a date and I found out she kissed the guy, that tore me apart especially my ego. Is arguing in a relationship give a person the right to be intimate with someone else? Is my question unreasonable or unrealistic since we technically broke up, I think what pissed me off is she said she "accidentally kissed" the guy and I don't believe that is possible unless she jumped back when he tried to which isn't this the case. I'm willing to except any type of criticism.
And sorry on my phone. | Ex girlfriend who I tried to work it out with kissed another guy, am I wrong for being pissed off and think what she did was wrong even though we wasn't together (she mentioned that too)? |
t3_1j8b0m | dating_advice | [17M] I have finally gotten over my crush and best friend but am now stuck. | I recently got over a crush I had on one of my best friends. I liked her for the longest time and went back and forth with liking her. Now I don't talk to her much anymore and our friendship isn't really there anymore. I'm not sure what to do anymore with girls and going for anything because of the events I feel like I will always be turned down. I also feel like I can't talk to girls because I just make then feel uncomfortable or I cannot flirt to save my life.
I think I like someone but I just don't know how to go by it. I have never been the most confident person. I am usually insecure about myself so I feel like girls find me unattractive which makes my confidence go down. I guess I'm just in a slump since I feel like I don't know how to talk to women anymore. | Just got through liking a girl/best friend of mine now I'm in a stuck and have no idea what I should do. |
t3_38637k | relationship_advice | How to ask my friend [23M] too hook me up with his cousin [21F] I am [22M] | Okay so I am interested in my best friend from college's cousin. This came about when he said to me he was going to a country concert with this girl. I was like ok [insert friends name here] go get it. He posted photos of him with two girls on his arms on fb.
I comment and go okay the girl on the right looks really good, is that the girl you were going with? He laughs at me as I sit there wondering why he was laughing.
He tells me "Dude thats my cousin."
I laugh it off like oh i knew that.....
He goes" Why you think she is cute."
I say" Of course I do but she is your cousin and there is no need for that."
He laughs and says dude its cool man.
I am interested in getting to know/meet her, but I do not know how to bring this up to my friend. I tried to play it off like I was not interested for the sole fact that he is my best friend from college. IDT it would be weird at all, but I dont want me and his relationship to get awkward if I do meet her.
But anyway, I want to go for it. I just do not know how to approach him and ask him if he could potentially hook us up, or if we can meet at his house or something.
Just need some advice, idc from who. | saw friends cousin in his photos, asked who it was, he asked if I thought she was cute, played it off as yes but wouldnt want her, actually do want her, dont know how to approach him and ask him to hook us up |
t3_121ohd | AskReddit | Reddit, what are some good websites for a quick laugh? | Looking for some websites that can cheer someone up when they're feeling down, that can get someone's mind off of something bad.
Asking you Redditors because honestly, I prefer to ask actual people than just google, and I prefer to ask the Reddit community than yahoo answers or such.
For those curious, I need this because my girlfriend is depressed, and suffers from nervous breakdowns and gets upset quite often. In the past, showing her some websites have helped, but I'm out of ideas as to what to show her. And the nice part of having the websites, is I can bring it up for her to see whenever she needs to. | Uplifting websites |
t3_10qzry | AskReddit | Less than 30 seconds after my girlfriend called me racist for voicing my suspicion about two lurking men, they began a mugging spree. What "told-ya-so" moments have been marred by the shitiness of the situation you correctly predicted? | As I was dropping my girlfriend off at her apartment this evening, I noticed two large, darkly dressed, black men *(their race is relevant to explain why my girlfriend called me racist, NOT to explain why I was suspicious)* lurking, across the street from each other near bushes, motioning with their hands to one another.
As she had already gotten out of my car and was crossing the street, I didn't say anything to her, but just rolled down my window and watched. She turned around, came to my window and asked what I was doing, at which point I explained to her that I found these two lurking men suspicious and wanted to make sure she got in alright. She rolled her eyes and told me I was acting racist for suspecting that they were up to no good. After berating me for a minute about my "racism", she walked into her apartment, through the first door that's always unlocked, and through the second door that requires a key. Seeing this, I left.
She called me less than 2 minutes later, telling me that while she was waiting for the elevator, a girl came in the door she had just come through, crying, ran up to her and asked to use her phone to call 911. Two black men, dressed in dark clothes, had converged on her right in front of the entrance to the apartment, both with guns, demanding her purse. 3 more girls were mugged in the next hour before these two dickheads were caught by police dogs about 2 hours after I had dropped her off.
Never before have I wanted to say "told ya so" so badly, but holy fuck, somebody had just been mugged at gunpoint less than 30 seconds after I drove away, and my presence probably saved my girlfriend from being mugged... not exactly something to gloat about.
So, what's your story? | saw two suspicious looking men outside girlfriend's apartment doors; warned my girlfriend; she calls me a racist for finding them suspicious; next girl to go through the apartment doors is mugged at gunpoint. |
t3_3lvr5o | relationships | My (28F) friend (28F) told her mom (50?F) personal information I shared with her, who then told my mother in law (55F) who is her best friend. | Sorry for the confusing title. I met an old friend last week to chat about work, as we both currently have the same job (substitute teacher) and I've been wanting to share information and tips for a while. My husband and her (lets call her Sally) were childhood friends since their moms were best friends, but they have not been close friends (or even have talked) in probably 15 years.
During our meet-up we both caught up on life and things, and in that time I must have said some thing about my relationship which I don't exactly remember, but as she isn't a close friend I wouldnt have shared anything too personal.
So last night I get a text from my sister in law (who lives with my in laws) saying that I need to be careful what I share with Sally's mom as Sally told her mom things about us, and then Sally's mom gossiped to my husbands mom (who then kindly told Sally's mom that she wasn't interested in hearing gossip about us and to please stop).
So now I have no idea what it was that I said that Sally and her mom thought was interesting enough to share. But my question is: how to I deal with Sally? While I feel like she is still stuck in highschool I would like to handle it as maturely as possible. | Old friend gossiped to her mom about personal things I shared; her mom then told my mother in law. |
t3_4wg91z | relationships | My [19F] sister [9F] died in a car crash. It has been 2 years and my brother [15M] still blames himself for her death. | Our sister died on a Thursday two years ago and my brother still blames himself. He is convinced that if he had just behaved in class and arrived home on time mom would have never have taken our sister in the car that day.
I go to gymnastics every Thursday after school and my brother goes home to do homework. The day she died our mother was leaving the house to go somewhere. Sometimes if I or my brother were home depending on how long she would be, she would leave our little sister with us.
It was a Thursday and my brother was kept back after class by the teacher for some reason or another. All I know is he did something to get a warning from the teacher. He was late home and mom decided to take our sister with her. Mom got into a car crash and my sister was killed instantly. My brother blamed himself for being an idiot in class and not coming home on time. He still blames himself to this day.
What can I do to stop him from feeling this way? | Brother blames himself for the death of our sister. |
t3_1vo3xb | relationship_advice | [26/m] I don't have an emotional connection with my SO. Asking for advice on how to end it. [23/f] | I can't do it anymore. We had a great weekend together and everything was happy. Since New Year's our relationship has been on fairly solid ground.
I'm supposed to see her today and I need to end it. She doesn't suspect anything, but I can't continue faking it anymore.
I'm interested in someone else. Not just one person actually. And not even emotionally interested. I actually just want to have sex with someone else. I feel trapped, annoyed and somewhat confused. I don't know what I want. I just know it's not this.
Ever date someone that everyone of your friends loves? Someone everyone thinks you're perfect with, even the most intimate and closest of friends? That's what this is. And I think that may make me like her even less.
Is it wrong that the best excuse I have for wanting to end it is that I've grown bored and unsatisfied? I want to try the single life again.
We've been dating for a year now, and close friends have gotten engaged, married and more. I feel this outside pressure about how serious this relationship is and I keep thinking - I started dating her for superficial reasons, not intimate reasons. Hell, I slept with her the first night we met. I can't marry her. She's physically attractive and a sweetheart. But we don't connect on an emotional level. We differ on core values.
How do I break up with her? What do I say? I haven't formally ended a relationship since I was maybe 20 years old. Past relations ended in either a dramatic fashion (caught cheating) or a fade out (stop answering).
The worst part - the people I would usually go to advice on this all love her. Everyone likes her. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about this. There's no spark though. I'm bored and unhappy and isn't that enough reason. | Been dating a girl for about one year now. I'm unsatisfied. I haven't ended a relationship since I was young. Are there special steps I should be taking since we've been together for over a year? How do I end it without hurting her? |
t3_5039ur | offmychest | No two weeks. Ive told nobody... | BACKSTORY! I'm a manager at a restaurant where I am paid a decent wage. Recently, however, an opportunity to move across country, make up to quadruple my current pay, and work with my little brother has been presented and it's a no-brainer; I'm just gonna do it.
THE DILEMMA! I'm a (somewhat) respectable guy and I have always given a two weeks notice. This time I'm about to go ahead and fuck my current employer by stopping, dropping, and rolling out with no more than a twelve hour notice. There's a reason for those who care.
MEIN QUESTION! How should I do it? A card with a sweet satirical soliloquy? An apologetic account of my reasoning? Or how? I just don't know. It's eating me bad and I'm quitting Tuesday night before my Wednesday shift. HALP PLZ! | I've told naught a soul at my job about my recent opportunity to work for better pay and my committed decision to quit without two weeks notice. How do I do it? |
t3_2zwt1j | relationships | Me [25 M] with my gf [19 F] 8 months, I hate feeling jealous | So i'm in a long distance relationship that started around july of last year. We've been through this before and i guess it almost ended our relationship before. But i get easily jealous from some things, all of them online related, never non-online stuff; and only with people that i don't know about. If she meets someone i don't know and makes a friend, i get a little jealous. The more it goes on, the more i get jealous. I know its wrong, but it still effects me. So onto the situation: i went away for like 5 days and yesterday i found out that she made a friend yesterday (no jealous feelings yet). But then she told me that she was on Skype with him and his friends playing cards against humanity. That was unusual because she doesn't Skype with random people or anyone for that matter easily. We pretty Skype all the time, its how we talk. So i thought that was unusual because she skyped with a bunch of random people, but i thought nothing of it. Then we were watching a show and she told me she was making a snapchat account (i made an account earlier that day and sent her my username, indicating that she should make one too) and during the show she said this guy was sending some pics of his party and being drunk. I asked who it was, it was the guy she met yesterday. I made a snarky comment that she got his snapchat so soon. But that seriously made me get jealous feeling, i felt hurt for some reason. I ended up getting a cheating dream, which did not make me feel so good. And in the morning the next day, i got some dirty pictures of her and for some reason my mind came up with did she send that guy pics too. Now that was not okay, i should trust her. I've been beating myself all day for feeling this feelings, and trying to get out of this dark hole, but i just can't seem to do it. The brain sucks. I'm afraid of telling her any of this, because it just comes off as i don't trust her. | I need to stop feeling jealous, its destroying me... |
t3_32g4ze | Parenting | I'm not sure what to do with my Nervous Ned. Does anyone else have experience with an anxious toddler? | My middle son turned 3 six weeks ago. He started showing signs of anxiety just prior to his birthday. I think he had something of an identity crisis with not wanting to be older. He used to be the little boy in our house, but then we had another baby in September.
Compared to our other kids, he has always seemed a little apprehensive and insecure in new situations. He's also quiet and a homebody / he rarely wants to leave the house. But the thing that really has me concerned is that in the past couple weeks he has begun to compulsively twirl his hair.
It may not seem like a big deal, but it's just so weird to see compulsive behaviour in someone so young, and I'm afraid it's a sign of a greater internal disquiet. He twirls his hair several times an hour, even more in anxiety inducing situations, and he even does it when he stirs in his sleep.
It's odd, but I'm not sure if it's enough to see a doctor over, maybe it's just a quirky phase. Has anyone else experienced this? Should I cut his hair to get him to move on to something else, or would that make things worse by removing his compulsive stress release?
Thanks for any advice. | 3 year old seems anxious and has taken up a compulsive behaviour of twirling his hair. |
t3_32edy2 | relationships | Me [23F] with my brother[17] , His temper is bordering on abuse and I can't take it anymore | My brother is 17 years old. For as long as I can remember, he's had an explosive temper. He can't handle cristisism, perceived slights, or anything of the like. He becomes especially violent when playing video games, which he almost always is. When in a tantrum, he will swear, yell, cry, throw and break things, hit things and hit himself. He's had outbursts at school, which led to suspensions. He was diagnosed with ADHD as a child. I don't know if that has anything to do with his temper, but I know he's never been on meds for it.
I feel like my parents are enabling this behavior. They argue amongst themselves loudly constantly, which obviously doesn't set a good example for him. Whenever he freaks out, instead of addressing him they just blow up at each other. I've recommended a dozen solutions ( taking away his game system permanently, punishing him in any way, seeking mental help, among others) but they literally have done nothing and never want to even talk about it.
I have severe anxiety and depression, and I can't afford to live on my own, so I am more or less stuck here for the next year at least. But between the three of them, the house is rarely calm and I just can't take the day long blow ups anymore. Reddit, do you have any advice for me?
Thanks so much for reading. | My brother's anger is scary, and my parents are not much better. I can't live like this anymore. |
t3_1j75ta | relationship_advice | I (24/f) am having trouble getting over past events between me and my boyfriend (24/m) | I started dating my boyfriend about 4.5 years ago. He is my first serious boyfriend, and I am his second serious girlfriend. We dated for about a year and a half and were very happy together throughout. Then he met another girl. I had bad feelings about the vibe I was getting from them, and after getting to know each other, they clearly had something going on. We broke up for about a month while they were spending time together. During this break, we were keeping contact throughout. They spent time together but things didn't get intensely physical--no sex was had. It ended up that it didn't work out between the two of them, and he still had feelings for me, so we immediately got back together after that month of hell. We have now been dating for another 2.5 or so years with no breaks. We generally are happy together and have a lot of similar interests, but I find that my emotions from the past often flair up...when I think about the time they spent together, I lose all feelings of closeness towards him and get angry about the events that occurred and how I handled them. I sometimes have times where I can't get the thought of him and her out of my head. These feelings were more intense immediately after we got back together, but they are still bothering me to this day. I want to continue to have a loving relationship with him, but if I can't let the past go, is there a future between us? | Long-term boyfriend hurt my feelings in the past and it is affecting my relationship to this day, how to move beyond it? |
t3_4l2d8j | relationship_advice | I'm [23/M] unsure if the girl i'm dating [19] actually loves me or is just using me as emotional support | So me and my gf have been dating for around 10 months now. We see each other all the time, talk all the time, all that good stuff. I think we're pretty good, we always love each other's company, and can go on for hours without realizing it. I do love this girl, and do give her my all. However for the past week or so I've been really questioning our intimacy, I don't feel a lot of affection from her, she's caring, and she does love me but sometimes I feel it's more like as a friend, someone who's there for her, who cares and is concerned for her, but not loves her the way she wants.
The other day she was telling me that she still doesn't feel comfortable around me, when it comes to Her being naked around me or even taking off her pants or shirt, and considering the length of how long we've been together it makes me want to question my relationship with her. Sometimes I think maybe she's just using me because her families really broken, her dad problems, moms' health, sister, and her younger brother who's just a kid is getting in with wrong crowd, drugs and guns. All of this does stress her out and I always give her an outlet, someone who she can spend time with and all her problems go away for the time being.
The one thing is neither of us have is sex, neither of us are virgins, and she's had one bf from before, while I've just been around a numerous women. At times we want to have sex but it never comes to her taking off her pants, or her bra, 10 months and she's still uncomfortable with doing anything, even foreplay, after everything we've been together and all the memories we can look back to, all the good times we've had she's still uncomfortable, never mind the sex, it's not a big thing to me, religions the mostly the reason for that, but I don't think of it often. Maybe my craving for affection for her stems from this, im not sure.
Any advice? | gf of ten months says she's still uncomfortable with me. After dating her for so long (10 months) and going on for hours on the phone and time spent together, which I can't even count, to the point some people call us crazy for being "obsessed" about each other she still feels this way. At first I thought that maybe she has insecurities but she recently told me a week ago she's just not comfortable with me yet. She has a lot of problems at home, she's been through a lot, and is often stressed out. Lots of daddy issues. I'm not sure what to do or what to say to her, and at this point I'm lost, because I don't want to be the guy that she needs to make her feel good, I'd want to be more than that. |
t3_3fgts9 | Dogtraining | Puppy biting and going crazy! Help! | So I just adopted a 12-week old beagle puppy and know very little about its history. I have been working him hard on walks, training, ect and thought I have never directly raised such a young dog before I think he is doing exceptionally well so far. However, he does bite when he is excited and for the past two days at about noon he seems to go into a hyperactive mouthing frenzy. I have tried EVERYTHING to correct this behavior and I am at a loss. I pinned him down today to stop him from biting my mother, and I feel absolutely horrible about it. I have tried yelping when he bites to hard, he starts to nibble but resumes biting hard soon after. I have tried ignoring him when he bites, he just assumes some other naughty behavior. I have exercised him to exhaustion, he calms down but inevitably gets riled up by the cat or some other external force. I really don't want him to be fearful of me or anyone else, and I don't know how to react when he is in these frenzied fits. | puppy biting and I pinned him because nothing else seems to work. I have read this is not a good tactic and I need advice. |
t3_1eewoh | Parenting | 12 year old still throwing temper tantrums? | I'm not sure if this is the right place, but I'm desperate.
My younger brother [12] has been getting into a lot of trouble at school and is all around being a terror. I'm in my 20s away at college, so I'm not around that often, and our mother is a single parent (though she gets a lot of help from my grandparents). I know this isn't "normal teenage" behavior and I'm desperate for some advice.
All he does all day is play video games, this I know isn't that far from normal. The last few months, his grades have been slipping, so an hour a day time limit was placed on the game systems. Today, when I wouldn't give him the password so he could play longer (I had already given him a 15 minute extension to save the game) he threw a temper tantrum. Not just being upset and crying, an actual temper tantrum. He started screaming and crying and pounding his fists on the floor and hitting his head like a 5 year old. All because he misjudged the time he had left and I wouldn't give him anymore. This behavior is NOT acceptable. This isn't the first time something like this has happened either.
I'm trying my best to fix his behavior, telling him no at appropriate times, but he just cries and has a fit. I'm meeting a lot of resistance from the rest of my family with the issue, as they see no problem with his behavior and rarely punish him.
Any advice as to what I can do as an older sister to help fix his behavior? | 12 year old boy throws multiple temper tantrums over meaningless things, older sister is sick of it and doesn't know what to do |
t3_lsq2g | AskReddit | A drug dealer that thinks I ratted him out is threatening me over the telephone. Help me Reddit, what should I do? I'm seriously freaked out, you are my last hope... | A couple of weeks ago I was with my friends trying to score some trees, so we got a number from a mutual friend and called the dealer up. He told us to meet him behind a restaurant in our neighborhood, and we would do the deal really quick. Right when our car pulled into the parking lot, several undercover cops, that I'm pretty sure were DEA, had us surrounded. They were asking us what the hell we were doing when they got a call on the radio. They proceeded to leave us sitting in the parking lot for 2 hours while they were off answering their call. They came back to inform us that this was our lucky day, and that we should just go home and call it a night. The next day, I began receiving texts and calls from the guy that we were buying from that previous night. He was threatening me saying that he knew where I lived (most likely a lie, but not 100 percent sure), and that he was going to come to my house with his friends and mess me up. I tried as hard as I could to convince him that I didn't say anything, but he couldn't be persuaded. Soon after begging him to leave me alone, the texts stopped. So today, weeks after the incident, I get a call from a mysterious number. It was the dealer. He apparently is being tried for drug trafficking and is most likely going to receive nine years in prison. He told me that if he cannot get to me before he goes to prison, then he is going to find me when he gets out, and it is going to be much worse. I freaked out, told my parents what happened, and deleted all social network accounts. I am also in the process of changing my telephone number. I am really fucking scared, and do not know what else to do. Any suggestions? Really, anything that can help all this come to an end would be fantastic. | A drug dealer is threatening me because he thinks I set him up, and I need help. |
t3_1elidl | AskReddit | My VGA Output in my computer is broken, what do I do? | I have a laptop(I'm on it now) but that's my gaming computer, and I just bought more parts for it, then the VGA part in it literally FALLS OFF inside the computer, I can't solder it back on and I bought VGA USB cable, before shortly realizing it's to connect a secondary monitor to a laptop, which I have no need for. I've sold some things on ebay to amass enough money to buy a new video card, but in the mean time, until the money is actually available to use to my discretion, is there a temporary way to see what's going on on my computer? | VGA Slot inside computer broke, any ways to temporarily show whats on my computer, or fix it without soldering? |
t3_559es8 | relationships | My [28F] boyfriend [31M] of 4 months doesn't like to let go when kissing me—is this common? | Hi, everyone!
I've been seeing my boyfriend for a few months now, and I've noticed that sometimes when he kisses me, he puts his hand on the back of my head or neck and then when I try to pull away, he uses his hand to keep me where I am so that he can kiss me a bit more. My initial reaction to this was just to push him in the chest, and when that didn't work push against his forehead, and when that didn't work, poke him in the eye. Then when he complained I poked him in the eye, I told him not to keep me from pulling away when I wanted to and he said fine and I'm sure it won't be an issue anymore.
My question is just—is this a common thing for men to do? I ask because my ex did the same thing on a more extreme level, where he would force his tongue into my mouth and hold me really tightly, and then laugh when I was disgusted with him afterward.
Now that I've talked about it with new boyfriend, I don't expect it to be a problem again. Ex-boyfriend was a narcissistic, manipulative asshole, and wouldn't stop anything when I told him to. I'm just trying to gauge if this is common behaviour to have, I guess.
Thanks! | Is it common for men to hold you in place so you can't pull away during/after a kiss? |
t3_3s3ubi | relationships | Me [25 M] with my gf [25 F] Differences in ideas leads to arguments. | Me and my girlfriend have a great relationship but there seems to be a clash in our views about doing things for each other.
One example is when we were trying to get a set of rings together. We had thought of an idea for the rings that would be perfect if not for the fact finding the right sizes was almost impossible due to their rarity. She really wanted those rings, but she would be fine with any other set. She also expressed her desire for those rings until it got frustrating for me as well because I was unable to find them. I finally tracked down the right sizes but after finding out the price she wanted to settle on something cheaper, after a long time of telling me thats the only ring she would wear. But to make her happy I got them. Later when she had asked how much more did I have to spend on the rings to get it sized I told her "it doesn't matter we gotta get you what you want." She was upset because she thought I thought of her as a brat that needed everything her way, and I was in turn mad that after doing everything the way she wanted, she was upset at me and I felt the effort I put into finding the rings for weeks was unappreciated.
I want to go out of my way to do something for her if it makes her happier and she wants to not be a burden to me. While it may sound good in theory, when put in practice she gets upset cause shes doesn't wan't that I ha to do something for her, and I get upset in return wondering why she's upset when what I did was for her. Where do we have to compromise here? | I'm willing to go out of my way to make my girlfriend happy, she doesn't want to be a burden/needy type of person who needs me to go out of my way to make her happy. This leads to her upset and feeling like she' being difficult and when shes upset I feel the effort I put in to make her happy goes unappreciated. How do we compromise? |
t3_1gr6yz | legaladvice | Wife and I are separated and discussing the splitting of assets. | My wife and I have been separated for almost a year, and we own a condo and a car together. I have a job, she does not. We haven't talked to lawyers yet, and I'm not sure we need to.
We have been civil to each other thus far, and are just talking about the splitting of assets. I would take on ownership of the car, but the condo is a little trickier.
She would like a buyout of the equity of the home. It comes out to about 16k/2. So she's asking for 8k over time and then she will be removed from the deed.
What should I do? Should I just buy her out and get it over with? I want to keep it because the value of the house is going to go up, I'm sure of it.
It really is the last thing we would probably need to split before a divorce is discussed. | Wife wants me to buy her out of the house we own. |
t3_3ui8o6 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my GF [30 F] have been together for a year but, I'm not feeling comfortable. | I've been in plenty of medium term relationships (1 to 2 years). Many of them have ended mutually and others not so well, which I guess if normal. I met my current GF [30 F] at a job I was working last year and we clicked almost instantly. She is Cuban and I am American so things we spicy to say the least. We are definitely in love. The sex is amazing and we understand each other perfectly the majority of the time. She is the sweetest and most hard working woman I have ever met. She never ceases to amaze me even when she fears failure. Despite all of this I think there is a problem with me.
This if very difficult for me to explain so, I will try my best.
I want more sex. From different women. Frequently. It's like an itch I can't scratch. I'm always very curious about what is out there and a pit in my stomach tells me that these feelings are VERY wrong.
These urges are so strong I start feeling uncomfortable with myself because, I feel like I'm a bad person for something I cannot help but feel. I fantasize about having sex with no one in particular however, even just the slightest thought of someone else's body other than hers and I feeling feverish.
I want to stress to you ladies and gentlemen that I have not cheated in my relationship but, I also wnat to stress that I don't feel immune to it either.
What is wrong with me? Why am I feeling this way? Is there something wrong with me or the relationship? | M [22M] with GF [30F] for a year. I want sex from other women but, I'm not sure that the way I feel is right. |
t3_33r8wl | tifu | TIFU by scaring my student | Context: burn-out/depression has caused me to basically stop sleeping. I get about 5-10 hours of sleep per week and have been getting that many hours for over last 3months or so. Sometimes my brain sort of shuts down and I think I have like a mini sleep with my eyes open and having a conversation without registering it at all. I have lost a couple of hours here and there (been to gp they don't know how to get me to sleep as even with strongest sleeping meds I wake after 2 hours).
So I was working in the teacher workspace,grading some tests, when I apparently went into a mini sleep thing as mentioned above. So one of my year 7 students came up to me and asked me a completely normal question and I answered that "he MUST get cheese from Hell", he said pardon and I repeated "It's of vital importance that you get cheese from Hell" scaring the poor kid senseless. At this point a co-worker touches my shoulder and I snap out of it and was then told the story. I feel really bad about it. | fu by telling a student to get cheese from Hell |
t3_2jvrr2 | relationships | How can I (M18), a complete novice, get a relationship or a date? | I am at university (uk) and there are a lot of people, which I thought would mean I would finally be able to have a relationship.
The problem is that everyone is far better looking than I am (women out of my league + there isn't even competition between me and the guys). On the bright side, I think I have a pretty fantastic personality.
I have tried going to societies, but the fact that there are only a few people in each means that when a girl rejects me, everyone will be talking about me and laughing at me afterwards-essentially cutting off that society.
I have never asked anyone out because I don't like to impose on people + I don't want the embarrassment of being rejected.
If I did meet a nice girl, how would I tell if she was interested in me? How would I flirt with someone or recognise flirting? How do I tell if I am in someone's league? Am I too young for Okcupid? | never had a relationship, would like to have one, but I am clueless |
t3_3d1frd | relationships | My girlfriend [18F] of ten months is breaking up with me [21M] because I can't come visit. | My girlfriend of 10 months and I are currently in different states for summer but during the school year, we spend every day together.
I am moving across the country in 3 weeks and she still has 3 more years of college left. We're going to try long distance and make it work.
But before that we had been planning a weekend, this upcoming one, in VA.
But last Friday I had to rush my mom to the hospital for emergency kidney stone removal. They couldn't get any on the left side so they have to go back next weekend to get those.
Because I feel I should be here for my mom during and after her surgery, I can't go to VA.
And my girlfriend doesn't seem to understand that I need to put my family first. She's threatening to break up with me because she spent a very long time scheduling the weekend (we were going to celebrate my birthday).
We have had a history of trying to make plans, then my mom guilt tripping me for leaving or not being there for her (she's suffering from depression), but I've always actually gone in the end. Even if I was made to feel guilty prior.
I just don't know what to do now and I'd like some thoughts from others to help me rationalize what I should do. Thanks! | My girlfriend wants to break up because I cannot come to VA because I have to take care of my mom after her surgery. |
t3_4412yb | relationships | Am [18M] I expecting too much from my [18F] girlfriend of four years | Hey! So as the title says, I am not sure if I am expecting too much from my girlfriend or she's just not giving it all.
Straight to the point, My gf never apologizes even when she's mistaken..she would just give me invalid excuses and just find a way to blame me. Also when we fight she never shows me love..I know it's a fight not a sex session. But she would go days without talking to me
If I don't talk first and try to fix things she wouldn't bother. I talked to her about her behaviors but she didn't change. I told her that the things she does hurt me and all she said was" I am not going to change ". I told her that I want her to love me better than this and she said that was all she could offer
We broke up multiple times before for this very reason. and in every time she wouldn't say that she would try and that things will be fine. Recently I told her Love me right or free me and she just said " i m not cagin you "
I really don't know what to do..of course i can't pour four years in just a post..she has her good qualities but her behaviors when we fight always push me to break up with her. because I don't think she's loving me right.
please ask me anything for clarification | gf not showing me love or am I expecting too much |
t3_3pynze | relationships | I [19M] literally have no friends after leaving all my friends to get sober. But that was a year and a half ago. | Long story short; in high school I started smoking weed, and by my senior year I switched to a continuation high school (4 hour days, no homework) to be with my friends that all switched there/got expelled to there. I was smoking $20-$40 worth of weed a DAY (stealing from my moms purse to pay for it). I stopped going to school or if I did I would just sit there and do nothing. After trying and failing to quit a few times, I realized I would have to make a complete life change. I couldn't keep hanging out with my friends that would just sit around and smoke weed all day every day. So, I stopped hanging out with them, and actually ended up graduating early.
At that point though, I had pushed away all my sober friends and so I had zero friends at all. It didn't bother me so much because I had plans to join the military, and decided to just make a fresh start there. Another long story short though, that didn't pan out. (I ended up having 5 surgeries in the past year). So, here I am, a 19 Y/O male, who has no friends, isn't going to college (and no plans to. Don't try to convince me to go, I'm not. I have other plans for a career), isn't going to the military, and currently works a job that is filled with other stoners. Don't get me wrong, I get along great with people at my work and elsewhere, it's not like I'm socially incompetent (at least not completely!) but I just don't know where to start building a friend circle again. | Left group of druggies to be sober. Left me friendless. Plans to join the military failed. Not going to college. So I'm not in an environment to easily make friends. What do I do? |
t3_4ndx6b | relationships | I [25 F] am still unable to accept my three [24 M | 24 F | 23 M] half-siblings. | Early in my parents marriage my father began having affairs.
I was born about a year into their marriage, and three half siblings shortly followed. I met one while I was in kindercare and that half-sibling has pretty much been a constant in my life since. I didn't meet the other two until four years ago.
I've always put on a nice face in regards to them, as I HATE hurting feelings, but I can't seem to accept ANY of my half siblings. My parents are still married and even had two more kids together but I see how my father's infidelity has affected my mother even as she tries to take the high road, she's mentioned it enough in my lifetime for me to know it bothers her more than she lets on. For me, my half siblings are like a living reminder of both my mother's hurt, and ESPECIALLY my father's infidelity. My dad is always getting us all together for events as if we're one happy, *normal* family and I am tired of it.
I've spoken to therapists about this to no avail. I don't hate my half-siblings but If I could cut all contact without looking like an a-hole I would, I'm in fact actively looking for a way to do that.
Am I wrong for feeling this way after all this time? | Years into adulthood, I still can't accept my three half-siblings resulting from my father's infidelity. I feel guilty because they aren't responsible here, but would still like to sever contact. Understandable? |
t3_14d7l9 | BreakUps | When has been the best time to retrieve your things from your ex? | I posted earlier this week. My ex dumped me on Saturday. I cried a lot Friday and Saturday and Sunday, and I am finally able to see our relationship for what it was. Today I thought that I need to get my things (clothes, pillows, good razor etc) ASAP so that I don't have to ruin all of this progress I'm making through thinking positively and actively monitoring where my mind wanders to, just by seeing him when I get my stuff.
In your guys' experience, is it better to do this early and get it over with or just continue with NC until you're over it? I texted him today asking only that I wanted to get my things and when could I do this, but even receiving a message from him made me nauseous and upset for awhile. He said I could come today and I asked about Friday and he said that was fine, but that he probably wouldn't be home.
I have not spoken to him or seen him since Saturday so I still have a set of keys to his apartment, which I will give back whenever I next see him and/or when I get my things. What do you guys think?
I am scared to see him again because I know it will hurt a lot and I'm even more scared to go into his apartment alone for fear of having an emotional breakdown of seeing what was basically my other home or worse: seeing evidence of another girl. | When is the best time to retrieve belongings from ex? Earlier or after I am a little more over it? |
t3_27z36k | relationships | 27m. My mum died suddenly yesterday. Everything's moving so fast. Should I approach friends to invite them to the funeral, and if so, how? | Throwaway as some people know me on my main account, I'd rather keep this a little more private.
I think I'm feeling the way they always say you will feel when a parent dies - lost, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, functioning, but with occasional lightening bolts of despair that sneak up without warning. Everything was normal yesterday morning - she gave me a lift into town as I had an exam. Apparently she was feeling tired and weak so she went to lie down in the bedroom, my dad went downstairs to fetch something for her, and all of a sudden he heard a thump. He found her unconscious on the floor. Paramedics were unsuccessful. I had left my phone at home, so I arrived to find the extended family gathered. My dad broke the news. Her sisters and brothers are being really excellent, they are advising and arranging everything, being careful that my dad, my sister and I have the final call on things. The funeral is this Saturday morning.
I'm posting here to ask: how do I tell people I know? I texted my flatmate who is a coworker, he and my other colleagues have been great, they're offering to cover me for as long as I need and my employer has given me some compassionate leave. The death announcement went online today and will be in the paper tomorrow. Do I invite friends? I'm an introvert and a fairly private person; I'm a year out of college and had a sort of falling out with some of my friends from that time, but there are some other people whom I still see once every couple of months, some of whom met my mum briefly. I'm pretty sure none of them know. My sister will have a good few of her school and work friends supporting her at the funeral. Should I call people up, send a text message etc? Should I leave it for people to see the newspaper tomorrow? I don't know how to go about it. | Mum died yesterday, family really helping. I'm your stereotypical INTJ who doesn't know how to deal with feelings. How do I go about telling my friends, or inviting them to the funeral? |
t3_16vb6k | relationships | 23m and 20f lost the spark in LDR | Male here, I am 23 the female half is 20. We're about 5 hours apart attending different universities. We have been dating for about 7 months. On our 2nd date her mother had passed away while on our date and I was thrust into the middle of her shattered life. I would spend the majority of my time with her consoling her, which I was ok with, I don't wish that upon anyone. She says that I "saved" her from depression and such. She is doing much better now, but sometimes even the slightest thing will ruin her day and make her sad. I try my best to cheer her up but the stress of keeping her spirits high and her mood swings has begun to wear on me. She tells me very often that she would go crazy without me as I calm her down and soothe her. That her life without me would be not worth living. She often says that her love for me is scary...( not sure if good) she talks about marriage and kids and I feel like because I console her that she mistakes that for true love. She never went to counseling and used me as her therapist and I feel like 1/2 of our relationship is me comforting her and our relationship has stagnated. I feel like I'm stuck in a hard spot and have no way out. I also fear for her mental health.
She is being hypocritical, I went out one time and was promptly yelled at for telling her I went out on a mates birthday. Yet she did the same,a few weeks before yet I did not care. Little things which I used to think were cute, I now find very annoying. We talk on the phone and Skype nightly and I feel bored and detached during these conversations. | LDR and gf's mother passed and the comforting of her passing is beginning to wear on me and she may be not mentally ok but won't get help as I am her " help/comfort zone" and I don't know what to do.... |
t3_2w7z10 | AskDocs | 3 year old had a third seizure in 3 years and we want to know if it's possible that this stems from an ear issue. | My son is 3 years and a half years old. He's had two previous seizures each a year apart in February when he was 1 and 2 that were Febrile. Last week he's had his third seizure but he did not have a fever. Although the week before he had an respiratory infection/fever. It was gone by the time the seizure happened and we did not actually see it this time (the shaking), we only saw the after effects but his pediatrician/neurologist also believe it was a seizure. Now after we had gotten him home, he refused to lay flat. He was excited to finally go to sleep but the second he lied down, he immediately freaked out and jumped up.
We ended up letting him sleep with us and we had to keep his head up by sitting him upwards for him to fall asleep and he would wake up crying if his head went back down flat. We also noticed his balance was off. He was almost falling for two days. He's speech delayed so he can't tell us much but he kept saying "owie, ear" and "fall down." So we're pretty sure he also had vertigo or something similar. The pediatrician agreed and allowed us to bring him in to check his ears.
She checked the one ear (after he flipped out when she touched it, which is not normal) and she said she saw nothing even though she said herself she saw him playing with it. I asked her if maybe it's an inner/middle ear infection and she looked inside and said no, she'd see it. So she told us his ear is fine, but we just don't buy it. For 3-6 days after the seizure, he continued having these problems and complained of his ear, so how could something not be wrong with it? | Basically, we're hoping that this is an ear issue causing this third seizure and not a seizure disorder. We're seeing a neurologist and going through all the testing but we're hoping somebody with medical experience can let us know we're not going crazy and there may be an ear issue behind all of this. |
t3_2u1lxt | relationships | GF (19F) broke up with me (20M) less than a week ago after dating for 6 months and begging for me to take her back. Looking for opinions | Basically as the title states we were dating for a period since the Fall semester and recently she ended it. Now we had our fights occasionally but things were starting to look up when this happened. The only thing is she ended it so abruptly, without any hesitation. We were drinking at her dorm and she tries saying it was the alcohol but being drunk and doing something isn't something I would accept as an excuse.
It was a minor fight, voices weren't even being raised and then suddenly she just drops a "we're over" and storms out of the room without any explanation or any real provocation. She then texts me not an hour later saying she's coming to get her stuff the next day. All in all it was a cold breakup in my opinion.
However, now she's pretty much begging me to give her another chance. My major concern is if she could do it once so out of nowhere and cold she could pull it again. But I do really like this girl and I'm starting to feel terrible not giving her a second chance but at this point it's just a mess trying to figure out what the best thing to do is.
I honestly don't know what I expect out of this post but it feels good to just vent and any outside opinions are appreciated. | gf of 6 months ends it suddenly, very coldly, blames alcohol and begs me to take her back. Wat do |
t3_g4wdu | relationships | after this, i am rethinking the whole idea of being in a relationship ever again | i will try to keep this short
im 20 shes 21.. both of us university students
we have known each other for 4 years now and it has been complicated through out this period. we have feelings for each other but we keep changing our status from relationship to friends based on several social and commitment issues.
She has stated from the beginning that she doesnt like relationships because you can never know how one person will change in the future( like people who reject the idea of marriage but apply that to relationships)
for me, i do have my doubts too about being able to be committed to one person for the rest of my life, however i do not reject the idea of a relationship even if it might not work out in the end. this is probably because I do not think i can live without having feelings to someone else...
to be honest, the odds are against us working out together for several problems, however, I might be leaning towards taking that risk.
Right now she wants to be friends, she doesnt want more than that and I agreed to that. but i still think about her | 2 questions |
t3_2ibip8 | relationship_advice | My SO (19/f) just cut all contact from me (29/m) | My SO and I have been together for about 6 weeks. No it hasn't been long, but that's besides the point. Last night we were at a small get together having a few drinks, when she randomly took my phone and started reading through my text messages (no this never happens. We actually agreed we would never do that to each other). She saw my ex texted me asking for her stuff back, and I said I would give it back to her. This happened a little around a month ago when we first started dating, and I haven't spoken to her since. She freaked out and told me to get away from her, and left.
A little off, but I also hooked up with two of her friends in the past, and she says she can't handle knowing I did this. It happened much before her and I were ever a thing. She told me "I know you're a good person. I'm just fucked." And that's the last I heard from her. She changed her relationship status on Facebook to single, and never even told me a thing. Am I wrong in this situation? Is there anything I should or shouldn't be doing? | my SO cut all contact with me in the past 24 hours, changed her relationship status to single without talking to me first, and I still haven't heard from her. |
t3_1c501n | relationships | Im (21M) in a weird "relationship" with this guy (20M) but have the option for a gay threesome. | Alright so I've been invited to have a threesome with gay couple I'm friends with (25M and 24M) but I am in this weird relationship with this guy sort of. I met him online and its just been hard to schedule anything. we officially dated for about a month before his schedule really made it too hard. We text and stuff every day but I just feel like he's losing interest. My question is if we aren't actually dating or anything should I have this threesome? Should I break it off with this guy? I feel like he takes me for granted sometimes and he hurts me (emotionally. He's not capable of hurting me physically lol, I'm a head taller than him :P) | ! The opportunity to have a gay threesome but in a weird relationship with this guy. Should I do it? |
t3_3m0f0b | relationship_advice | I [18/m] recently started dating someone from a different country [16/f]. | I am from Canada and recently started dating someone from the States. We live very close ( < 1 hour) just on the opposite sides of the border.
How we met is really random. I was bored, and after being out of a relationship for a couple months I felt lonely and went on Tinder. I never really expected anything to come of it, because Tinder is mainly just hook-ups, but none-the-less I joined. So I only went on Tinder for 2 days and this was the only girl whos number I got.
After texting for about a month we decided we should meet up and met at a place in between both of our places. We really hit it off and didn't kiss or anything on the first "date". We held hands but nothing serious just got to know each other.
After texting and meeting her, she was beautiful and is genuinely a person who has similar interests and a personality I love.
Anyways, We live in different countries, and its sort of illegal to have sex, if our relationship continues, obviously it will have to happen at some point. I told my roommates and parents about our relationship and that she is in high school, and they don't seem to mind that much, as long as I am happy.
Anyways, We have been hanging out A LOT lately, and her parents are very very accepting of us and love me. I have completely fell for her, and am going to continue dating her no matter what I just want to know what everyone thinks on the situation. Thanks. | Met girl on Tinder, she lives 30 mins away in a different country. We are now dating, she is 16, I am 18. What do you think about it? We've been dating for a month and talking for 3 months. |
t3_3b1fkh | relationship_advice | I [23/M] think my (22/F) is texting a friend of mine. | Hey reddit, i found out that my girlfriend as feelings for a friend of mine, they talked alot on skype and she said the like him and he said the same. I confronted my girlfriend about this and she said she will stop talking to him, this was 3 weeks ago, a 1 week ago i found that my girlfriend still talked to him in a video game chat (league of legends), and again i confronted, know i think she still talk to him in the Viber app, hes is online when shes talking with me and when she goes to sleep he gets offline, i recently found that she installed the app because i saw it on her cellphone (she install and desintall). She said she loves me and say that dont talk to him but i just dont beliave it any more, if she still talks to him she know that i will break up with her. i Dont know what to do, i hate feeling like this.
Sorry my english is very bad. | Caught my GF talk to other guy ( saying that likes him) 2 times, still think she talks to him on viber. |
t3_3ed3wf | relationships | My step-father (52) is cosigning a loan for my sister's (28) wedding, my mom (45) and I (M 19) are strongly against it. | Just a few minutes ago, my mother had a conversation with me about some financial issues with my sister's upcoming wedding. Here's some background knowledge: my sister, let's call her Susan, works on a farm; her fiance, Nick, is in a small time band. To put it bluntly, they are a pretty poor couple, and they have difficulty keeping up with basic necessities. To make matters worse, financially, they have a baby on the way.
My step-father agreed to cosign a loan for $250,000 to purchase a house. This is not a downpayment, this is for the entire mortgage. From what I understand, my parents will be stuck with the entire mortgage if my sister cannot pay for it (and she won't be able to pay for it).
This was all without my mother's knowledge, and she is losing her mind. She doesn't want to go to the wedding now and she's getting a marriage counselor. She is trying to come up with some other way to work this out, any way she doesn't have to cosign a loan.
My step-father will not back down since Susan claims to have found their "dream house" and it is "perfect for their new family". The thing is that they can't get a loan to purchase a house because their credit is absolutely horrendous due to their lackluster history as debtors.
I really don't know how to resolve this. My mom and I had a really long conversation about what to do, since if my sister misses the payments we'll be screwed. I'm in school right now, and those payments are enough for my family to pay for.
Ultimately, I just want to be able to support my mom right now since I think my step-father is clearly in the wrong here. What's the best way to go about supporting her in this situation without alienating the whole family? | Step-father about to cosign a massive loan for my sister's wedding without my mom's permission, and now my mom is losing her mind and threatening not to go to the wedding. |
t3_1cv2bq | Dogtraining | Newly rescued blind dog - help? | Hi, everyone. I recently adopted a six year old Wirehair Dachshund mix. She's wonderful - mellow, sweet, great with other dogs and cats - but the rescue group I adopted her from yesterday neglected to tell me that she's blind... It wasn't their fault necessarily, as they pulled her from the shelter only three weeks ago, and I agreed to adopt her from only seeing her shelter photo (on top of having indicated that I would be okay with a special needs dog on my application). But, well, here I am with this older blind dog and no preparations made for the special care she'll need! As a back drop into my home, I have another dog (a two year old Hound mix) and an exceptionally dog friendly cat. She's already house-trained, so that's great. I guess I just want some advice on how to help her adjust well and about owning a blind dog in general. | adopted an older dog without knowing she was blind, want to ease her transition into my home and life in general |
t3_u216a | AskReddit | If you could delete any memory from a past experience, what would it be? | I'll start:
For me I would love to forget the drunk driving awareness assemble of my junior year of high school. Not for the content of the assembly but the Q and A session afterwards. When the firefighters asked if they had any questions the entire audience was silent so I decided that I would ask a question; I asked what is responsible for more deaths per year, texting while driving or drinking and driving.
When I was called upon I wanted to make sure that the firefighters understood that I knew both were extremely dangerous, and I would never do either. When he announced my question to the rest of the audience for some reason I kept repeating to him "No that's not what I asked, I know both are very dangerous and would never do either, but which is more dangerous?" and spent about a minute or so trying to explain to him how I wanted him to believe that I was a good kid would never do either. Everyone kept giving me looks like I was very stupid and it is one of those embarrassing memories I can't stop thinking about. | I kept rephrasing the same question to a firefighter so I would sound . Everyone clearly understood what I was asking at an assembly making fun of myself in front of the entire school. |
t3_1vwtw5 | loseit | [NSV] I ran 4 miles in 47.36 minutes! | Hey LoseIt,
first of all --- Thank you for being an awesome community! I felt like I needed to share my little victory with someone today. I used to hate running, and by hate I mean really, really, really hate it. I couldn't understand why anyone would want to run... ever. Then something changed. I started losing weight back in February 2013 but only became serious about fitness this past fall. I started C25K in December, did it on and off; not really keeping a schedule. After about 2 weeks I eased into it and started enjoying jogging, but I felt bored. I still continued to jog through December, and the beginning of January and incorporated a couple of treadmill workouts from Blogilates (fitness youtuber). It was fun and challenging but I never went past 3 miles.
About two weeks ago I talked to a friend who runs and she told me she usually runs at least 4 miles when she does run, so I decided: next time I'm going, I want to do the same: run 4 miles, start out slow. My times weren't that great at first but I kept improving. Today, I did 4 miles in 47.36 minutes!!! This is definitely the best I've ever done, numbers wise.
Thanks for letting me share!! | I used to hate running, picked it up in December, and ran 4 miles today and was under 12 mins per mile! |
t3_1o21gt | Pets | Help with a constipated newborn kitten | I just took on the responsibility of raising an abandoned kitten my dad found outside his home, as I have a lot of previous experience raising and bottle-feeding newborns. The kitten was, according to him, abandoned for a few days before I got him. This is the third day I've had him, and he seems mostly healthy from what I can tell, except for his constipation. His stools are abnormally hard for a kitten and he is in obvious pain when he strains to get them out. The process of helping him defecate takes forever. I've already reformulated what I'm feeding him to have more water in it, as per what I've found through research of other cat fosterers, but that doesn't help the fact that he's in pain right now. Is there anything I can do to help him pass his stool easier? I'm very worried about him. | less-than-week-old kitten has hard, painful stools, how can I help aside from watering down formula? |
t3_1eeche | loseit | Starting over. 23/F 253lbs. | I'm 23/F, 253lbs. Here's a start [pic] feel free to follow my tumblr as well (link on pic).
Last year I started working out in February and lost 30lbs in three months. Since last June, I have slowly gained almost every pound back. I contribute some of it to stress (I'm a stress eater). I started school, my house flooded, I had to move back in with my mom (three weeks ago, gained about 10lbs since then).
Living at my mom's house SUCKS. Her entire fridge, cabinets, and freezer are full of sweet snacks. This is my one weakness. When my boyfriend and I had our own place, we rarely had any sweet snacks in the house.
So here I am, starting over. I still have my gym membership, but I'll soon be moving even further away from the gym. But (but!!) I will be moving right next to a state park with a lot of hiking, so I plan to go there pretty often.
By the end of this year I'd like to be at 200, but I'm not going to set that in stone. My focus for now is eating better and getting more physical activities in my schedule. | I lost weight last year, gained it back. Starting over, wish me luck. |
t3_3b3tst | tifu | TIFU By getting my hair washed. | To start off, I would like to apologize for any formatting problems because Im on mobile.
So our story starts with myself walking into the local hair salon to get my hair trimmed: I like to keep it short, and my hair grows excessively fast.
I walk in and the nice lady at the counter tells me that Tommy (my hairdresser) will be ready for me soon so I should go to the back and get my hair washed. Heading to the back, I park my ass on a couch with a woman who I presume is waiting to get her hair rinsed, massaged, and the whole shebang aswell. Now, this woman was very friendly, chatting up strangers as they are getting their hair washed while she bobs her scarfed head up and down, grinning the whole time.
A chair opens up and a hairwasherperson calls for the next customer to get their hair washed. Even though I sat down after the lady on the couch with me, for some reason unknown to me, I stood up first and began to walk over. Realizing my mistake, I did a quick 180 spin, looked at scarf lady and said "Im sorry, I forgot you sat down before me, are you getting your hair washed?" with the politest smile I could I muster.
Scarf lady looks at me in sheer disgust and says "Seriously?!?". Confused by her response and mind reeling, I try to figure out what I could have done wrong. In my stupidity, I hadn't noticed that her scarf was almost fully covering a completely bald head and an iPhone enveloped in a case with a pink cancer ribbon on it was sitting in her lap. She was there with her friend who was getting her hair washed at the time. I apologized endlessly to the scarfed madam while my face was red enough to glow in the dark. I sat down and got my hair rinsed while the lady sat on the couch looking at the floor for the remaining time while her friend sat there with shampoo hands running through her mane.
The haircut was great though. | Asked lady with cancer if she was getting her bald head washed |
t3_2667dm | relationships | How can I (21M) get her (20F) to text more? | I've only been seeing this new girl for a few weeks. We're only dating still and we're not actually at boy/girlfriend status yet.
We've been on a few dates and she says she has never had a boyfriend before and is a little awkward with that sort of thing. We talk every couple of days or so by text, but only when one of us needs something really.
I want us to text more, I know that sounds a little weird but every girl I've been romantic with before has wanted more contact than what I have at the moment with her. We're both quite busy people and don't have time to see each other more than once or twice a week and I feel like we're not getting close enough due to the lack of conversation.
How can I get her to engage in more texting with me? Just like general "how are you doing" or telling each other how our day was. I don't know what I can do without appearing really clingy or attached. I really like her but as it is we don't know that much about each other. | Lack of communication between me and her. How can I initiate more texting? |
t3_4a7t2m | relationships | I'd [25M] like my girlfriend [27F] to start excercising | So my girlfriend (66kg) and I (58kg) have been dating for 1.5 years. We do not live together. We have great sex, cook for ourselves, have jobs that we're relatively happy with. We're mildly active, we go on road trips, walk around town, stuff that doesn't require strenuous exercise. I can see myself getting married to this wonderful woman and we've even talked about it.
I was fortunate enough during my childhood to be able to do various (almost all) forms of sports and activities.
Her on the other hand, she simply didn't have any interest in it or just never had the opportunity to do the same kind of things I did.
In the future, when we move and live together I'd like to be able to go bicycling around town, go on hikes, ski, play tennis, etc together, as a family.
She's not exactly "in shape" so to say. I find her attractive in every way possible but the fact that I won't be able to do those things is what makes me sad/ponder about this relationship. She knows she is slightly over weight and would like to shave several kilos.
She gets tired pretty easily and doesn't have the best diet. When she has a stressful day or too tired to cook for herself (which is quite often), she buys fast food. She always has snacks at home and probably doesn't go a day where she doesn't snack. She eats biscuits for breakfast.
She's been cooking for herself everyday for the past week though!
All in all this worries me and I don't know how to go about it.
How am I to keep encouraging her to eat healthy?
How exactly do I go about praising her when she's making healthy options?
What can I do to help? | Girlfriend has an unhealthy diet and doesn't exercise. I'd like to be able to do active stuff with her in the future. What can I do to help? |
t3_2cnpb9 | relationships | How to treat those close to you more kindly? | I(M36) tend to be very sarcastic, even snarky, when I talk to my wife (37). I speak to her with bite that I would not use on other people, unless I was really close to them and knew that they could handle it. To me, this is just part of being open and frank to her, and there is no one in the world I am closer to than her. But I think it is taking a toll on her, and that I am taking her for granted and forgetting how sensitive she can be.
I think I need to change how I talk to her, but I have no idea how. I think I see a glimmer of this in other people too; they tend to become used to treating someone, typically a close family member, much more poorly than they would to strangers. Can anyone relate to this? | I think I am forgetting how to be nice and cordial to my wife. |
t3_sqzef | AskReddit | reddit, i need your help | Hey there reddit. My super cool english teacher decided to let us do a fun satire/parody project for our candide unit. The rest of my classmates quickly stole ragecomics and memes, so I decided to stretch the assignment and create some submissions on thatssotrue.com that referenced our school. Last night i created seven submissions and copy and pasted the permalinks to turn in. However, when i tried to revisit these links today i ran into a 'sorry, the submission you are looking for does not exist' page. I decided to moderate posts for a bit and came across one of mine when i compared the link to my old one (that did not work) they appeared identical. Anyways i was hoping someone here with more technical knowledge could help me retreive, or at least understand how i lost my posts. My assignment is due at 1:30 tomorrow, wed Apr 25, so i dont have much time. | tried to retreive some posts from thatssotrue.com, website couldnt find them, stumbled across one of the "nonexistant" posts and found the link was identical to the non working one |
t3_13e0mi | relationships | My gf [23f] and my [25m] views on the world are entirely different. Will we work? | We've been pretty successful so far, the past 6 months. Problem is, people refer to us as House and Cameron. I see the world as gray...I question everyone's actions and consider everyone to have an ulterior motive. She sees the world as being nice, everyone's intentions are innocent and good, and everyone's wholesome. Lately, this has caused some...questions between us.
Example 1: A guy in her class asks her to lunch, and she's excited to meet a new friend. He continues to ask her to lunch/coffee, I'm pretty certain he's asking her out, she thinks he's just being nice and assumes he's just being a good friend.
Example 2: A guy she had a history with calls to catch up. They talk, and he wants to grab coffee. They do, and he now calls regularly, and I get the inkling that he has an ulterior motive. She thinks that they can go back to being friends.
Example 3: We see a homeless person on the side of the road. He asks for some change to feed his kids. I immediately remember that he was here last week asking the same thing. I think he's probably going to go get some booze/drugs, and she thinks that he deserves a chance, so she gives him a few bucks.
The #3 example doesn't bother me as much as #1 and 2 do. We talk about every issue that comes up, but now it's just getting a little tiring. What to do? | gf is optimistic and sees the world as a happy place, everyone is nice. I see the world as a dark place, where people are generally not that great. Will we work? |
t3_zhbl7 | dogs | Can my ex take 'our' dog away from me? | I've already posted this in r/relationships, but since dog related thought I would try here as well.
We were together 3 years, recently broken up for the third and final time, and he's made it well known that -he- would be taking the dog.
Now I would understand under other circumstances that -if it was before we were together - he would obviously take the dog. But, I gave him 800 $ for the dog, the dog was 775 $ so it did more than pay for him. I put in the effort for training, and exercising the dog. I've bought him all he needs toy/treat wise to keep him busy during the day. Kept the yard clean, maintained his nails and coat. Though my ex was there for some of it, the most he did during this time was take him for an off leash run every 3-5 months, pay for food (which was like pulling teeth, getting him to go 'out of his way'), and vet visits.
I'm the one that the dog listens to the most, the one he gravitates towards (besides my Father, who spoils him), and the one who has
the best chance of keeping him happy through this change.
I'm INCREDIBLY fearful my ex will leave him in a crate all day, won't be able to keep up with his high energy, and my boy will be neglected. I can easily see him being pushed aside for my ex's needs and becoming very destructive/angry.
I don't know what to do to convince/persuade my ex to leave him here with me. I've told him I will let him come get him for a visit when he wasn't working, and that I wouldn't try and keep him from him. To which his response was, 'I'm not treating the dog like a divorce child.'
I really don't want to lose my best friend because we couldn't work out our problems. I really feel as if my ex only wants him to hurt me, and I have no idea what to do.
Sorry for any typos, alternating crying and having my dog try to lick my face.
[A picture of him and I a month or so ago.]( | My ex wants to take 'our' dog, despite the fact that I put in the effort to train him, kept him healthy/happy, and paid for him. What do I do? |
t3_4vjgu1 | tifu | TIFU by severely sunburning just half my body | So this all started when me and my girlfriend decided to take a day trip to the beach with another couple. The first thing you need to know about me is that I am pale. My dad was a ginger so I inherited Snow White's fucking skin. I also do not tan. I simply burn, become a fucking tomato of pain and then return to being ghost again.
Now I have been this way for a long time and I generally know how to take care of myself. I put sunscreen on regularly and try and stay away from that spray sunscreen crap because I have always had a sneaking suspicion that it doesn't do shit. I treated this trip to the beach like I would any other.
Here's where shit went south. Me being the idiot I am figured "I can probably just use the spray sunscreen. It must work to some capacity since it is sold so regularly." And to it's defence, it did sort of work. On the side of my body that I sprayed it on. In my excitement to get in the ocean and swim, I used my right hand which is my dominant hand to spray all my sunscreen on and completely forgot to trade hands and finish the other side.
So now I'm laying here trying not to move as my right arm and shoulder are burned so deep red that they almost look purple. | Went to the beach. Only put sunscreen on half my body and accidentally burnt myself to a crisp. |
t3_gpxy1 | AskReddit | What's the weirdest thing you've done to get a girl and have it work even though it shouldn't have? | I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was sitting in class listening to some boring lesson from the teacher about 2 weeks into a class. I didn't know anyone in it and I guess I was starting to get restless. Suddenly, about halfway through class, a short girl with big boobs (my weakness!) walked in the room. In a split second I made a dastardly plan. Right as she was about to walk by, I grabbed her by the waist, spun her around and sat her on my lap all before declaring "you're my bitch now". My mind instantly went blank. All I could think was "what the fuck did I just say??". She gave me a little smile and played along. After a few weeks we would make out in the back of the class pretty often. | I went full retard and called a girl my bitch within five seconds of seeing her. |
t3_3cmq1j | relationships | Me [18 M] with my friend [18 F] expectations | We met four years ago, dated the first two, broke up and didn't speak for months at a time, then- as of May or so- have gotten back to speaking and have been dipping into sexuality heavily; though only occasionally. Hardly any physical and mostly over Facebook/Snapchat.
In person she has hardly any enthusiasm or drive. She doesn't really ever seem to care about what problems or thoughts I have, and seems to just go along with them. She wants to be able to kiss me how she wants but wants to be able to have sex with other people as well.
Now color me old-fashioned, but I prefer monogamy with a woman. If I'm the one kissing her, I shouldn't have to wonder where those lips have been.
We're very open about consent etc., but am I allowed to have expectations? I doubt myself constantly and try to justify her deflection of sexuality and such- saying she doesn't "need" to, etc.- but it's having an affect on me.
It makes me bitter; petty. It makes me want to stop speaking to her altogether in order to cause her strife, pain, and guilt. | I want to fuck with others but keep you around because you fill niches that nobody else does. I don't want to live up to your expectations though, I want you to live up to my standard in order to keep speaking to me." - her |
t3_uqdv7 | relationships | An aquaintence of mine explicitly told me that he was being abused by his boyfriend, as far as I can tell on facebook, they are still together. I need advice as to whether or not I should try to intervene more... | I believe they are 21/M(abused) and 40's/M(the abuser).
This guy is a closer friend to my housemate, but she's been out of town, and the other night he called me asking if he could store some of his stuff at our house, because he was moving out of his boyfriend's place since he "beats him up." I told him that of course he could, he said he'd call me back when he could get a ride to my house. I never heard back from him, despite texting him and messaging him on facebook.
Today his boyfriend posted this on my friend's facebook:
"I love you and know you love me too.... If you want me to proove it I will scream it to the world. Are you ready...if so give me your ear so I can whisper it in there...you see cause you are my world."
I've been in an abusive situation before, and I know that I can help him get out of this, but it seems that he may not want the help. Should I persist in trying to get him to leave his boyfriend? | Friend is in an abusive relationship and has reached out to me for help, but is now refusing to reply to me. What do? |
t3_3k2iej | personalfinance | Getting first apartment | hey PF!
Well, my girlfriend and I have decided to get our own apartment next may. Now everything seems to be all good, but a few things concern me. A little background first:
We're both 19 years old, been dating for 5 years and have lived together for two years until she moved to uni. I am currently living at home going to community college and bring home about $600 a week after taxes. The only bill I have is $40 a month, so I can save the majority of my money.
Next may, I'm transferring down to uni with my gf to finish college and we plan on getting a apartment together. She has a job, but it doesn't bring home much money. She does get about $3000 back a semester from college though. By the time may rolls around I'll have over 10k in my bank account. The problem is, when applying for apartments, I'm concerned no one will accept us because I won't have employment in that town until I move as I'll have to find another job. (But i'll have money to pay months worth of rent). Do you think We'll have trouble getting accepted into a apartment? The one's we're looking at are about $430 a month. | moving next year, I have money for rent, but worried about not getting accepted into apartment because I will have no employment status. |
t3_3oifcs | relationships | i [16M] have been going out with my girlfriend[17F]. she cheated with her friends boyfriend[18M] me and the friend[18F] found out and she wants revenge | so ive been with my girlfriend for over one year and she has the really close friend that has been with a guy for 2 years, me and her friend (we'll call sarah) just found out that my girlfriend and her boyfriend(we'll call dave) cheated on us together. i knew sarah for a very long time and have always liked her very much. sarah has said before that she shared them feeling for me.
now that we know theyve cheated she wants to break up with him and get with me i dont know if i should take her up on it because i might feel like a rebound or somone just to get back at them but i dont really want to say no to something ive wanted for a very long time, what should i do? | gf cheated with her friends bf, friend wants revenge and wants to get with me, dont know what to do |
t3_1n9jo0 | AskReddit | Did you ever fail to stand up for someone who was an outcast in school and grow up to regret it? | In 4th grade there was this girl April. She was a very pretty girl, but she was a Tom Boy so she didn't really fit in with the other girls in class, so those girls decided to dig up an oldie classic of the playground and said she, and only she, had cooties.
Everyone in class refused to touch her or anything touched by her (so naturally no one wanted to be her friend or sit by her or else they would be made an outcast as well).
More than once that year the teacher took her to the front of the class, and she would stand there with her head down crying as the teacher would demand people stopped treating her this way, but it didn't change and it followed her into 5th grade where again a teacher gave a talk that changed nothing.
She, myself and some other kid were behind in our studies so we went to some extra "dumb kid" class midway through the day, where we were put in a room together, and she and I got to talking.
I apparently was the only kid who wasn't treating her like she was an outcast so she called me her friend, which worried me as I didn't want to be put in her same boat - so to my external regret, though I didn't engage in name calling, I also didn't sit with her and pretended like I couldn't hear her.
I was home schooled after 5th grade so I never found out what happened to her... But thus far, I am always disgusted with myself for not standing up for her... I sometimes stay awake at night worrying about how she turned out.
I rank this as one of my greatest shames and I wish so badly I could have been braver. | I was a shitty person in 4th grade and regret not standing up for a girl with no friends. |
t3_2bic49 | relationships | I think that a new girl [17F] might be interested in me [17M] but I don't know what to do. | I'll try and keep this short and sweet since I know that these posts are a dime a dozen.
Basically, a new girl moved to my school about a month back. We're in two of the same classes. Initially, I wasn't really interetedand I didn't know her well enough to pay her any mind. I'd already had one of my two classes with her on her first day, where she'd sat by herself away from most of the others as it's a small class filled mostly with guys. in the other class, she came and sat next to me. She didn't talk at all and I was busy taking notes and didn't bother talking to her.
She made friends with some of the girls in that class and sits near them. About a week later, she came back to catch up on some notes from one of my more diligent buddies and then talked to me about how I'm doing in the other class I have with her. She doesn't ask for help with homework or anything, which I guess is a positive.
Ever since then, she's grown a lot more talkative with me and talks with me or just smiles and says hi just about everyday she's at school. It's usual high school stuff about classes and teachers, but sometimes it gets more flirty. I don't think I've ever actually started the conversation myself.
I have no experience at all with girls and I've never had a girlfriend and I don't have that many close female friends. I'm not sure if she's just a friendly person looking for more friends at a new school, if it's my imagination putting pieces together that aren't there or if she likes me. And even then, even though I'm generally pretty composed and confident, just the thought of asking her out scares me, but I'm also scared of missing the opportunity and regretting it later. | New girl is in some classes with me, now talks with me just about every day. I'm not sure how she feels about me and I'm a pussy when it comes to girls and I have no idea how to go about going forward with this. |
t3_2hvtn9 | Advice | Am I going the wrong way about dealing with my housemates? | Basically my housemates (at university) go out and get drunk a lot, I am not really into this due to a few health issues and having a boyfriend who lives four hours away thus needing to save money to go visit him.
Basically the other night my housemates egged a house and thought that it was completely hilarious, but in retaliation that house has sprayed ketchup all over our house. I asked my housemates to clean it to which they laughed and said 'Oh leave it it was just a joke' so I pointed out that the landlord wouldn't see it as just a joke if he saw it and would expect us to clean it or pay for it to be cleaned. (my house mates seem to think that being students allows them special treatment in life for example we had an extra bin bag for our wheelie bin so I was like 'oh shit we are going to get charged for that' to which my house mate replied 'no they won't charge us they will just take it as we are students." They also seem to think that if anyone complained about them egging their house that they wouldn't get into trouble due to being students)
Any way I pointed out that in no other walk of life would any adult find it funny to throw things at another persons house and that aged 19 student or not if the police happened to see (police regularly patrol our area) they would get fined for vandalism. Maybe I am being boring but I personally don't find the idea of egging somebody elses house funny (they egged random houses they did not know the people who lived in them)
Another thing that my housemates do is come in screaming and shouting at 4am and keep me up for hours and apparently that is fine, yet this morning my house mate complained about me getting up too early in the morning (8:30am) and going downstairs to the bathroom, getting dressed etc... as apparently that woke her up.
I have been biting my tongue a bit as I do not want to cause a conflict, but do you think I should more openly tell them what I think?
I do get on with my housemates and love them to bits, Its just these few things bother me. | My housemates think that egging other peoples houses and coming in screaming at 3am and waking me up is ok, yet me getting up at 8:30am is not, how do I tell them to grow up without causing conflict? |
t3_2py4nr | relationships | How do I [20 F] handle my close friend [20 F] going back to a manipulative, cheating boyfriend? | She and I were best friends throughout high school, and both of us have been battling depression and anxiety. So naturally we would vent to each other all the time because we were the only ones who understood. She had much more severe issues and is on medication and sees a therapist, but she hates it so I doubt she's really taking advantage of the help.
Her current boyfriend is someone I knew in high school as well. He cheated on his ex girlfriend with my friend for a while. I was not aware of this, but it was obvious there were feelings. I used to think he was a really good guy because he made grand gestures like buying her flowers and presents. Then he went to college 8 hours away. He lied to my friend about hanging out with girls, then claimed they had boyfriends when they actually didn't.
She tells me repeatedly that he stresses her out and she doesn't trust him. She said it's making her feel bad about herself and long distance is too much to handle. But then twice she broke up with him, and he talked her into getting back together by saying he was sorry, he loves her, and that he will change. Every time she takes him back even though she tells me she felt so betrayed (she found highly inappropriate texts).
At this point I'm really struggling. I told her I'll support her but I also asked her to think about what she's doing. I said I hated to see her suffer. She said she'll think about it but I don't think much will change, just like the past "breakups".
What can I do? I won't fake liking him. I hate him. But I don't want to risk alienating her because I know she is very dependent on me and not too emotionally stable. What's the right thing to do? And this point I've just resigned myself to refusing to be around him ever. | My friend keeps going back to a guy who is completely untrustworthy after complaining to me how much the long distance relationship is stressing her out and that she felt betrayed after finding inappropriate texts. I told her to think about whether she wants to put with his crap, she brushed me off. What can I do? How do I deal? I hate the guy and am tired of hearing my friend complain. |
t3_3fjsg9 | offmychest | I think my friend has some sort of mental illness. | I love her, dearly. It's always fun to be with her and she is super cute, but the more I listen to her, the more I think she really needs help of some sort - I think she is deeply addicted to some sort of male attention?
She has a boyfriend - another friend of mine - she doesn't love, but he doesn't want her to leave. So she stays. But at the same time whenever we talk, she has found a new soulmate - someone unlike anyone she's ever met before, someone she's deeply bonded with. She always falls in love with them and it's so cute how she talks about them. Her boyfriend hates her talking to other guys (I think secretly he knows), but he's in utter denial and he told me to "stay out of his relationship business forever", so I'm respecting his wishes.
It never works out with those guys (who don't know she's got a boyfriend) for whatever reason, be it they live far away or have/get girlfriends of their own, and immediately, one or two days after "it's over" she has talked to and fallen for another boy. In those phases there is nothing, absolutely nothing we talk about but how much in love she is with those guys, how perfect they are to each other.
I've told her that it sounds a little off, every new boy being "the truly most amazing person she's ever met", but she said, she just laughed about it and then told me she was uncomfortable when I started to steer the conversation to a more serious tone again.
Should I try and talk to her again? Should I leave it alone? Is it common and I'm just a weird person who doesn't fall in love with people? I'm just worried that she's putting her own self so much aside, or that she feels like she can't be without someone who loves or adores her. | Friend "chain-falls" for guys, in two years she has been utterly in love the entire time with different people. Is this medically worrying? |
t3_4ay0sj | relationships | My [26M] bestfriend [27M] has been bothering me since breaking up with his fiancee [24F]. How to proceed? | Typing from a cell phone with a broken screen, sorry for any typos.
My bestfriend and his fiancee recently broke up. There was constant fighting between the two of them over the past 6 months where I tried to be of help to them both. I never picked a side, but it became very clear that he was emotionally abusing her. After their last fight before the breakup, I told them both that I would not be supporting their relationship any longer.
Now that things are over between them, it appears she has gone no contact. He has gone very public with it on Facebook, saying how he doesn't understand what happened and creating lies to make people think he is innocent. This has really been bothering me but I haven't dared to say anything to him in fear that he'll get upset with me.
Just yesterday he has started prying me with questions about if and what his ex and I have been talking about. I told him the truth (the ex and I have talked about half a dozen times, once about their relationship in particular and how shitty breakups can be), which I am starting to regret. He continued to ask me questions and I stopped the conversation telling him that he knows a whole lot more than I do on the situation.
Today my bestfriend has messaged me twice and I have not replied. First he asked me if his ex was online, then if I could forward a message to her (no idea what he wants me to say as I haven't gone into the messenger app to mark them as read for him to see). I do not want to be his messenger or spy, this makes me feel extremely awkward.
How can I politely tell him to back off. I usually react to things like this in a negative way but I don't want to upset him. Over the past month I have also been feeling a lot of resentment towards him over his actions during/after the relationship and have a hard time spending time with him. Am I over reacting? | Bestfriend is trying to get me to talk to his ex-fiancee for him. How do I tell him politely that I am uncomfortable doing so and stop asking awkward questions. |
t3_3coz33 | relationships | My husband (30/M) feels disrespected by my (30/F) friendship with his friend (27/M) | Had a pretty long talk with my husband last night, about how I make him feel disrespected in our relationship. Part of this is my tone of voice sometimes -- which I can work on but will need help with because honestly sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it --- but another part is that we don't always see eye to eye and generally, I do what I want.
One of his best friends from high school has always been a big part of our lives. He and I hang out with my husband but also alone sometimes. We are collaborating on a project together. We are friends and have our own relationship seperate from what he and my husband have. We didn't always like each other, but we've come around and I genuinely enjoy spending time with him, in a group setting and also one-on-one. We have gotten close and he is one of those people I will call if I need to talk to someone, especially since my husband works really long hours and isn't much of a talker anyway.
All that being said: there is definitely NO attraction on my end, and I don't believe there is any on his end. We are not each other's "type", we know way too much about each other, we have a real sibling kind of dynamic. The thought of us hooking up -- even if my husband was not in the picture -- is pretty revolting to me.
Well, last night my husband made it clear that he needs me to stop hanging out with this friend. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize my marriage, and I get why it would initially make him uncomfortable, but the idea that this is somehow my issue and not his, and I need to change my behavior/stop working on this project/find another friend and confidante is really weighing on me. How can I preserve my marriage AND this friendship? Can I? | My husband dislikes the friendship I have with one of his male friends; should I try to make him see how much it means to me or just accept it and end the friendship? |
t3_3td7n5 | relationships | Me [17M] with my friend[17F] we got in a fight and this time it seems diffrent speaking to her | So we got in a fight and didnt talk for about 5 days, keep in mind silly fights happen all the time between us that have resulted in us not talking for a few days before, Nothing has stopped us though.
This time its different, Im getting alot of "yeah exactly" and "yeah true". It feels like now we are struggling to get past small talk or maybe she is doing it purposefully to show that she isnt interested.
The thing is weve been friends for 10 months and weve always had such a like deep connection and comfort-ability with each other. She has told me that she thinks she likes me recently which has made me excited because ive really liked her. But then she changes which is why we fight. One week she seems very into me and the next she seems off.
I miss the connection that we had and how we could just talk about the most random shit, now our conversations seem very dry and i cant tell if she is trying to tell me something or that connection has just faded out of no where. | Girl is giving me mixed signals, after a fight our conversations have been very dry and im not sure if shes trying to tell me she doesnt like me by being purposefully dry or if we just lost that connection we had for the last 9 months. |
t3_3hz5sq | askwomenadvice | Tips for being just friends with women[24/M]? | I dont know if i should be posting this here or askmen or both?
I really have a hard time seeing any of my female friends as just being a friend and not a potential love interest. I've given it a lot of thought and i think my reasoning is if someone is good enough to be my friend why wouldn't they be girlfriend material. Is this a bad way to look at things?
I mostly worry about this because i think it makes me act differently with our friendship and over analyse everything. I definitely think my lack of partner is part of the problem but not the whole problem. I also think my lack of female friends might play a part, i only have i would say 3 female friends.
Hopefully this post isn't too cliche or over asked, tried to do some searching. | I fall for all my female friends and i think it makes things weird, welp. |
t3_2nwbs5 | relationships | Me [20F] with [21 M]; how to break up if we're not really together? | Met a nice guy on tinder; we're both at the same college, and have been casually dating for about 2 months. We see each other about once a week, cinema/cook together etc., text a bit in between, and we've slept together. However, we've not had a conversation about exclusivity or about being in a relationship, though neither of us have mentioned seeing other people, and I don't think he is.
He seems quite keen and often initiates meeting up - the issue is that, whilst he is a nice guy, I'm just not feeling much connection or like we'd be a good fit for each other. I've decided I want to break things off, but I'm not sure how to without feeling presumptuous about what's going on - if I do it in person I don't want to imply that I thought there was more commitment than there was and make it awkward, but if he does see us as properly dating then over text/fbk seems a bit cowardly? Not sure on the etiquette for this? | seeing guy for 2 months, ~8 dates (cinema, cooking, staying over), but not "officially" together or exclusive. How do I break things off? |
t3_2p3798 | relationships | Me [31F] with my partner [33 F] of 2 years - she had a meltdown when she found out her old crush was sleeping with someone... | My gf (Brenda) and I have been together 2 years. Happy times for the most part. She had been severely crushing on a girl (Marley) when we met. They fooled around a bit, but Marley started dating someone else so it ended. About a month or two into us dating, I had to ask Brenda to stop flirting w/ Marley in front of me, as it was pretty inappropriate, and it made me uncomfortable. She did.
Fast forward to last week. We were walking home after hanging out with Marley and some other friends, and Marley and this other girl (Sam) are all over each, and Marley indicates to Brenda at some point that they're dating. On our way home, it becomes obvious that something is bothering Brenda, so I ask her what's up. She's quietly tells me she might start crying if she talks about it. I encouraged her to talk about it anyway if it was bothering her so much - and she just starts crying her eyes out. Stops walking. Bends over and covers her face and is heaving into her hands while trying to explain to me how badly it hurts her that Marley has chosen to sleep with/date this other person, and wouldn't date her.
I get kind of upset, and ask her why it's so devastating to her? Inquire about whether or not she still has feelings (she says she doesn't). She doesn't really have a lot of answers, and me being upset caused her to shut down about it.
Sooo... I'm not really sure what to do with this information, but it's really, really bothering me that my girlfriend of two years is still so... invested in this other persons choice to not date her two years ago. I asked her not to talk to Marley about it, since we're all in the same friends circle, and it would feel really weird to me if she knew that Brenda possibly continues to carry a torch for her, which she agreed to.
Any advice/perspective you could offer is welcome. | My girlfriend is devastated that our friend is dating someone |
t3_oyp36 | AskReddit | What is your best "Stick it to the Man" moment? | Mine is from sophomore year of college. My roommates and I had a microbrew tasting party which was attended only by people from our dorm or on campus. We probably had 30 people total, and even though no one was driving, we had a couple sober people who offered to drive anyone if they needed a ride. By random chance, an RA caught us while she was stopping by a friend's room next door and someone from my apartment opened the door at the precise moment that she walked by. There was no noise complaint or anything like that.
All of the people who lived in the apartment were forced to pay to take an online course about safe drinking as well as meet with a counselor to talk about safe drinking. After looking over the course outline, I began to realize that every single thing that was highlighted as a safe drinking practice was something that we had implemented at the party. No one drove and we had sober people there anyway. Also, we only had a few beers per person, so no one was even able to drink excessively.
I wrote a letter to the dean of student housing, essentially saying that it was ludicrous for us to carry out the punishment, because the punishment would essentially be reinforcing all of the behavior that we were being punished for. He asked to meet with me. I came in and said "Sir, having us take a class on safe drinking as punishment for drinking safely is like punishing a thief by forcing him to take a class on how to steal stuff. No disrespect, but it literally makes no sense at all." He looked at me for a couple seconds and then said "Ok, I really cant argue with that, just write a paper about the dangers of alcohol and we'll call it good." | Got caught drinking safely on campus (no one drove, we weren't drinking much). Punishment was to take a paid course on safe drinking. Met with dean of housing, got out of it. |
t3_10uonu | AskReddit | Is there a porn movie with actually interesting script? | Porn movies have really increased their quality of production (camerawork, lightining, definition, makeup, etc), but they go too fast to the "just fap to it" parts.
I do understand (and even thank them) for doing so, but I'd like to see movies where we actually start liking (or hating) the characters, or where we care what happens next / in the end. It could be any genre – a comedy, drama, romance, etc.
**Example 1:** [*Caligula*] which has lots of pornographic scenes, but also tells an epic history.
**Example 2:** [*A Serbian Film*] – which is very, very disturbing – but at least makes you care about the main character and gets you curious, tense, etc until it ends.
**Little know examples:** There are also some movies from Brazil's [*Pornochanchada*] – brazillian movies made in the 70's and 80's, most of which with softcore scenes –, but I believe it is not well known to you.
**Not sure if good example:** I've heard about a top-notch porn production called [*Pirates*] from a few years ago, but I haven't watched it yet so I don't know if they actually managed to make an interesting story, too.
I've seen a few short porn scenes/movies that managed to develop just a little better than usual those clichés like "secretary is seduced by boss in the office", "home assault with sexual abuse" or "young girl explores sexuality"; I don't recall any of them by name, but some might be worth it. | Why don't we have porn quality production AND interesting stories? Do you know any exception? |
t3_17ntjd | loseit | Help me get into shape for bootcamp | Hey there! My stint in the Finnish military is starting on 8.7.2013(DMYYY), and I'm in a pretty bad shape, having sat most of the last 3-4 years behind a desk at school and at home.
Weight 86 kg, Height 186 cm
I honestly cannot do a proper push up at this point, i can lower myself about halfway and get back up for a few reps, but a proper length push up is practically impossible.
Now, the army service won't be anything hardcore like some parts of the U.S. army, but i should still be able to do at least *push ups*...
I have no equipment aside from sneakers and a single short weight bar with about 14kg of combined weights.
Can you help me design a routine that won't take too much of my free time? Preferably 30 minutes or under.
My initial plan was to do simple things like Push ups, situps and ride a bike to work and back, so in total about 10km per day. | Basic boot camp, need to get more endurance and strength, under 30 minutes per day, recommend routine |
t3_2x7qtv | relationships | I'm [26 M] my friend[28 F] of 2 years refuses to be friends with me anymore. | I've met this girl about 2 years ago online(let's call her Chelsea). We played online in a Clan in a local tournament. We built up a lot of good memories. My ex never allowed me to actually meet Chelsea.
So after my break up I finally met Chelsea and we had a ton of fun. She helped me a lot through my break up and I helped her through her break up(s). We spent hours chatting each day.
Then last year in July Chelsea had a huge fight with another close friend[19 F] of mine(call her Sandra). (this really does sound like a high school drama). She made me choose between her and my other close friend. I told her that I'm not picking anyone's side. Both friends have been VERY supportive towards me so I'm not going to turn my back on either of them. ( I think I should also state that they were both in relationships so there was no romantic interest).
So over the last 6 months Chelsea has been in a relationship with a guy and our communication just basically stopped. I messaged her maybe two or three times in the last 6 months never really sparked into any meaningful conversation. In the time being I'm still talking to Sandra on a regular basis.
Now I've really been missing Chelsea a lot. It started to frustrate me to the point where I just decided to confront her and ask her what's going on? I want our friendship back.
She went off on a very long rant that I clearly picked Sandra's side and I never bothered talking to Chelsea in the last 6 months. SO why come back now?
Now she absolutely refuses to be friends and I really don't want to lose our friendship. I miss the times we had together. I'd give anything to have her back, but no matter what I say or do she just keeps telling me to get lost.
Any advice on what I can do? | Lost a friend and can't get her back. |
t3_10z55e | relationships | My (F-32) SO (M-33) thinks it's "creepy" that I have to take anti-depressants. | I suffer from depression and have for a very, very long time. I take anti-depressants which have really helped balance me out and bring me into a better frame of mind.
The situation I am facing now is that my SO of four years is pushing for me to stop taking my medication (Celexa). He is incredibly difficult to talk to regarding depression, and he doesn't truly understand the depths that true depression can take you to. I haven't told him that celexa has literally saved my life, and sadly I know he won't make any effort to try to understand and that his level of comprehension on the issue is so incredibly low that this is seemingly becoming an insurmountable problem.
His general attitude and response to me taking anti-depressants is that "it's creepy" and "everyone suffers from depression" - he completely blows me off when I am on the edge of tears trying to relay how real and serious my depression is. I don't want to say he's a dick about it, but he's a dick about it.
I want to know if there is some way that I can explain depression to him so that he will understand and have a little sympathy for my condition. He makes me feel ashamed of what I cannot control and the lack of support is really quite alienating and bothersome to me. Depression has really impacted my life and I feel that if I can't share this with him, there is really no point to even really trying.
I don't want to have to live in silence and shame because he thinks depression is "creepy". How can I get him to understand what I am going through in a way that a MAN'S MAN can comprehend? I'm tired of having to defend my illness like it's my chosen political party or religion. I don't want to dump him or break up with him, I just want him to understand and have some sympathy. | SO doesn't believe in depression, thinks anti-depressants are stupid - but he's involved with a woman who suffers from depression and takes anti-depressants. |
t3_3s2g7e | relationships | Me [20F] with various people I've lead on/let down in the last year. I'm lonely as hell but struggling to do anything about it. | hey reddit, I'm hoping you can help me.
It's late and I haven't had much sleep lately so it's time to get emotional.
My ex was emotionally manipulative and has left me with some weird thoughts with regard to sex. As a result, I've lead numerous people on in the last year, only to suddenly go cold on them when I start to consider how they might want something more from me. Who knows, I might be asexual, still figuring that out.
but I'm really struggling to do anything about it, I don't know where to start, I want to apologise to all the lovely people I fucked over by being unaware of my own emotions.
I recently spoke (about this very issue) to a friend of one of these people that I lead on and the conversation made me want to reach out to them to say sorry and offer an explanation of why I disappeared twice from them, but then that's just weird.
I'm lonely and and want to do something about it, but as soon as anybody shows interest back, I seize up and never want to see them again.
I know this is vague, but please ask me questions because it really helps me figure it out. | huge intimacy issues, what do, screwed over nice people and want to apologise |
t3_4a855v | relationships | I (19 M) am trying to keep my relationship with my parents (46 M/43 F) stable by helping them out whenever they need help, but I'm exhausted and cant even keep up with my own personal life. | So everything started when parents took credit from bank and bought this old-ish company around 8 years ago and tried to upgrade it by taking even more credit to upgrade the machinery with something new (the credit was around 600k € in total) And the machines are not paying themselves back as they were supposed to and my parents have to work full beast mode 12+ hour shifts to actually profit from the job.
This work requires some pre/post production work in which I have much more experience than what they have. So they always try to get me to help them. Here comes the problem:
I have my own job which I absolutely love and would never leave it. I work 10 hour shifts myself and come home pretty tired too. In addition to this job I also attend distant courses for school so I graduate in time. **In addition to all that** I am also trying to expand my own expertise in my own field (post production) to get better at what I do.
I try to help them anytime I can, and will do but the thing here is that I quite often have to say no to my parents as I just feel way too exhausted after doing so much already, but it is really hard to say no as I am really worried of their health status (Dad smokes a lot because of stress, mother has high blood pressure) and I don't really know how long they are going to keep up with that kind of lifestyle. Whenever I say no they get mad and proceed to tell me that I don't care about them.
My own personal life basically consists of the things mentioned above and nothing else. My social life is a complete shithole and I don't have time to go out and meet new people or my friends. Because of this I've had a really negative mindset, been angry and as I already mentioned; exhausted.
To clarify: The work my parents are asking me to do is still way different from what I do and I find it really boring to do.
So right now I feel lost and came here for any advice. | My parents own a company which they really need help with and expect help from exhausted me who is working 10 hour shifts myself, doing distant school courses and trying to expand my own level of expertise in my own field all at the same time while not even having time to live a socially normal life. |
t3_4y007p | relationships | I [30F] am having issues w/ my husband's [36M] lack of empathy. Married 5 years. Can someone help me? | My husband is a great man, but he comes from a very tumultuous past. His family has been a difficult journey for him and I know he's been left emotionally scarred by his situations before our marriage.
Knowing this, I try to be understanding of some of his challenges; one of them being his temper and lack of empathy. But not always am I able to rationalize or be understanding in the heat of a moment.. so I'm looking for some advice.
I'm sure a therapist can come up with many reasons why my husband has a difficult time empathizing with people; but my question is less about why and more about how I can cope and work with this.
If I'm having an issue and he doesn't agree, or the issue is with him, or he doesn't prioritize it-- it's like trying to draw blood from a stone. My tears don't affect him (I don't do it on purpose- I just tend to be a crier), talking softly and calmly doesn't work, directly saying "I need comfort. I need support right now." won't always work either. In fact, sometimes, he if he thinks I'm upset over something he doesn't deem important, he'll actually become angry at me and be very short and rude.
I've tried to explain "Just because you don't think it's important, doesn't mean I feel the same." or "Even if you don't understand, can't you see I'm upset - can't you still comfort me?"
He becomes very callous towards me in moments like this -- sometimes moments where I really need the support and understanding. It's difficult for me because I often feel like I am not only left to fend for myself, but that his anger or callousness makes my situation worse.
Does anyone have any advice for this? Anyone who has a hard time relating to others who might offer some perspective? Or someone who lives with a difficult person?
He's never been diagnosed, but maybe someone who has a family member with acute autism might offer some advice on how to successfully cultivate a relationship?
Thank you :) | Husband has trouble empathizing and I'm looking for ways to help us better communicate. |
t3_1s544g | relationships | I [25M] want to know if other girls are like my girlfriend [23F] when it comes to touching in bed | I guess I'm specifically asking the girls:
1. How do you like him to touch you? Do you like him aggressive and groping you constantly, or do you like slow rubs? In between?
2. How do you touch him? My girlfriend loves doing slow rubs and runs her fingernails up and down my back and i love it.
3. I love to feel her up quite heavily and grope her butt and boobs and thighs a lot, as opposed to her slow sensual feels on me. Is it possible for my girlfriend, who likes to do slow rubs and caresses to me, to enjoy my rougher handling of her? | My girlfriend touches me slow and sensual while i grope her and feel her up pretty fast. Does it work well for her or no? |
t3_511rth | relationships | My [21F] girlfriend of six months broke up with me [20M] after telling me she's been having traumatic nightmares | My girlfriend has been feeling down for the past couple months and avoiding physical contact. When I asked her about her sadness, she said everything was okay.
Looking back, she has been having nightmares for two months, but never really mentioned it to me. She previously had these nightmares 1-2 years before we started dating but recovered from them after seeing someone. She started getting the nightmares again one night after we had sex but she avoided talking about it. She did not mention what the nightmares were about, but she plans to start seeing someone about it again.
I was not aware of all this until she messaged me about it a couple days ago. Shortly after telling me this, she told me that she needs space do take care of her problems and that she doesn't want to be a burden in my life. I don't understand why she broke up with me right after telling me about her nightmares without giving me a chance to fix things.
We ended on good terms and I respect her reasons.
I feel like I didn't do enough to talk to her and help her through it as I didn't know that her nightmares were this bad. I'm not sure if I should talk to her about it and if there's a chance to get back together in the future. | Girlfriend broke up with me shortly after telling me that she's been having traumatic nightmares. Why has she broken up with me so soon after telling me? Is there anything I can do to help or should I just give her some space? Is there a chance that we can get back together after she recovers? |
t3_183gi3 | AskReddit | Reddit, how can I be a less high-maintenance significant other? | Some info about our relationship: I'm 22, she's 19. Both college students. She's had one serious relationship, it lasted a year. He was a dick. I've had four live-in girlfriends, all of which I dated for at least a year. This girl (and what this girl and I have) absolutely blow anything I've ever had before out of the water. I'm gaga for this girl, and there's not a single reason I shouldn't be. We've been together for 4 months but I know she's the one. That said, I want to keep this relationship as healthy as possible.
My problems: I'm nice as fuck to her. I give her a full body massage (with expensive lotion I bought her) every night, complete with several orgasms at the end. I cook for her every meal, I'm like a grandma trying to fatten her up. And that's fine, sure, but despite my vast experience with women when we're together I get this verbal diharrea; I just can't stop telling her how beautiful and amazing she is, to the point that it hinders real conversation.
I get anxious when she goes about half an hour without texting. She's bi so I get pretty nervous if she's talking to anybody I didn't already know existed (though I do try my very best to not be controlling and for the most part succeed.) I'm always wanting to cut myself but if I do, she'd cut HERself so I bother her about that sometimes. I have drug problems. Anxiety problems. I'm very bipolar.
I'm trying too hard to be the perfect boyfriend, but I"ve lost all perspective on where the line is. I want to walk out of the atmosphere and spin the planet for this girl by hand. It's driving me crazy, and I know eventually it will drive her crazy as well. How can I be more independent without sacrificing that incredibly intimate sense of closeness I have with the girl I"m going to marry? | I both try too hard and am completely dependent upon her when it comes to my anxiety and drug problems. |
t3_1byfau | loseit | 10lbs down, 90-ish to go | After reading someone's story here a few weeks ago about how he had lost a ton of weight with just a decent diet I was inspired and decided it was time to start taking the right steps towards getting back into decent shape. I got on the scale, 275... ouch. The goal is 175, my weight when I was in the Army 10 years ago.
My first step was last week, I quit drinking sodas. I used to easily drink 4-6 Mt Dews in a day. Now I only drink real orange juice (no corn syrup or added shit), water, and a cup or 2 of coffee in the morning. I've also been working on portion control for meals and have totally cut out snacks. The goal here is to cut as much sugar out of my diet as possible, on the way to healthier eating.
I had very low expectations at first, but this morning I was at 264! 10lbs just by quitting soda. I know it isn't a huge deal, but I'm happy about it and it's helped motivate me a little more. Hopefully with the gym and constantly improving diet I'll be reporting big losses like you guys have been.
I guess I really just wanted to post to say hi and yay me and thank you all for inspiring me and for all your great tips! | HI! Yay I lost 10lbs! Thank you all for the inspiration and great tips! |
t3_554g2i | relationships | How do I[21M] control and stop my possessive and needy behavior? Especially in regards to my [20F] friend. | I(21M) asked my friend and coworker(20F) of about a year out around 3 months ago. Initially she told me that she liked me too, but she told me a week later that she wasn't ready for that kind of relationship because of her past relationship that she had only gotten out of around 4 months ago at that time. That relationship for her was really bad and her ex put a lot of bad things on her, was possessive, and kind of ruined her life. I also got the sense that my friend also figured out that she only saw me as a friend and didn't actually like me how I liked her.
The next month sucked, I had never felt so bad in my life. I realized that I just wanted her to be in my life in some way even if it wasn't romantically. I decided that I would try to be friends with her again and in August I think things got better. We were talking, and Snap Chatting again and acting like friends. Then September came and she started to ignore me, she wouldn't talk to me, seek me out at all, and I couldn't make her laugh or smile anymore. I've been crushed by this because I thought we were good friends, but it hurts knowing that someone that you admire doesn't have that same admiration for you.
I've started getting help for depression, seeing a therapist and taking anti depressants, so I think I will recover from that. But going forward I talked to our mutual friends and I found out that I had been perusing her too much. And because of how bad her previous relationship was she doesn't want to have possessive people in her life. I know that I had put her in an uncomfortable position, and I have my doubts about saving my friendship with her. But I do not want to live as a possessive needy person. I feel bad for how I made her feel and I don't want that anymore. We still work together so I need to be a more well adjusted considerate person. | My possessive and needy behavior has ruined my friendship with a girl, and I need help figuring out how to stop the behavior because we still work together and I want to be a better person. |
t3_fxol5 | relationships | We both like each other but shes dating someone. I need advice. | Okay I need some advice. I met this girl a couple mouths ago and I have this huge crush on her. Where both in our mid-teens (15-ish) and we have connected. We both like a lot of the same things and share the same beliefs. I have never been in a relationship before. Here's the problem. She's dating another guy. He's quite nice if a bit childish. I've herd from multiple people that she likes me. Last night her sister approached me and asked me if I liked her. After some hesitation I said yes.
What should I do? I know this is pretty generic but I'm looking for some help. | I like a girl. I think she likes me but she's in a relationship. |
t3_1ijwlj | loseit | Went from 320lbs to 217lbs feeling great. (M/22/UK) | +
I hated photos when i was fat so i didnt take any, this was one -_- but now im not so fussed, more about what my hairs like haha.
Cycled to work instead of being lazy
quit drinking cocacola
and resisted pastries (though i often relapse still)
Drinking 2 Litres of water a day had a major effect.
now im working on building muscle because i miss being that 'big' | check this |
t3_3qiwjx | relationships | (19M) Stuck in a situation between two friends who are dating (20M,19F, Year and a half) what should I do? | I am pretty good friends with both a guy and a girl who are dating. I've been helping the girl with some relationship advice lately. But the guy has told me some unsettling news.. He cheated on her while he was away at bootcamp. He hasn't told her. Now I feel stuck in the situation where I either
1) Keep my guy friend's secret (not break bro code)
Or
2) Keep her from getting more hurt by telling/dropping a hint to her
Im torn in between.. I don't want to go behind my friend and "tattle" on him.. But I think it's wrong that he did that to her. I feel like she needs to know that. But I don't feel like it's my right to tell her... What would someone suggest I do? Sit back in the shadows and not interfere... Or protect her and let her know? | My friend cheated on his girlfriend, who is also a good friend. Should I tell her? |
t3_2aehcv | relationships | It's my best friend.Please see carefully who is true friend or not | I am Adrienne J.Hurt,29 years old.The day I got engaged,I called my best friend to come to my wedding party,she said of course.And I'm live in GA ,she is living in TX.Actually,my betrothal was decided in last year,so I told her at first,and she gave me a sure answer.That was six months ago I have heard nothing from her .Whatever I gave her a call or sent messages or email,even the email about bridesmaid's gown,she gave no responds. And she never ask me what she is supposed to wear.You know,I got three bridesmaids in Texas ,the other two did not know which clothes were satisfied.They always called me for help.And one even flew to me .For me,the distant is not the question,and before the wedding is now less three months .The key is that she constantly update the state on facebook ,and I received the messages about her was playing stupid games 20 times a day.But she did not have time to pick my phone ,I called her three times last week.If she really disappeared in social media,maybe I would not be so upset. | How long should I give her before?What should I really do if she still keeps silence?I never meet this before. |
t3_21u9wg | tifu | TIFU by pretending I was drinking a beer on my way home. | In my area (Houston, TX) there is a talk radio host (Michael Berry) that advocates that "A grown ass man or a lesbian woman" should be able to pop a top on the drive home on Friday. He even has paid the open container ticket of several of his listeners. So just for fun, I got an empty Budweiser bottle from the recycle and filled it with Monster. When he rolled his pop a top segment, I began holding it up and cheering at every car that came by. It was really funny to see some of the people's reactions (I'm underage so that made it worse) I was having fun being a dumb ass until I cheered a passing cop on accident. I froze in mid cheer with my fake beer still held aloft like a banner and literally my whole present became one giant
"Ohhhhhhhhhh Shiiiitttt."
Then, the expected quick U-turn and lights go off behind me.
I get out my ID and prepare my story, the cop walks up and I open my mouth to give him the nonchalant, suave story i had been cooking up and this is what I said "It's not really beer, here, try some"
)__(
He stared at me for a second and I launched into a explanation about how I was doing it for a prank and I had never gotten a ticket before and please please please don't call my parents (the usual shit)
He finally took the bottle and told me to never do something that stupid again.
He drove off and I literally sat in shock for 10 minutes before driving off.
TD;LR: (I'm glad everyone got a good laugh out of my | mess up :P) I filled a beer bottle with monster and cheered people on my drive home. Cheered a cop, got pulled over, Let off. |
t3_2bma1h | relationships | Me [17M] with my GF [17F] 4 months, broke up after she got angry, when I told her If I didn't message her she wouldn't message me. (PS: English isn't my native language, If there are any errors, please forgive me) | This last late Sunday I told my gf If I didn't message her she wouldn't message me (I was in a bad mood), after that she got pretty angry and started saying that she didn't care at all in a sarcastic way. I was really sorry and told her because I didn't mean it, but she ignored me.
The next day (Monday) she decided to break up with me because she said that she had cried many times about nonsense and because of my bad mood. I tried to call her but she wouldn't answer.
On Monday night she told me she couldn't be without out me but she wasn't okay, she told me she was sad(probably meaning: disappointed with me), I told her I also couldn't be without her, and tried to get back with her, but she told me she needed some space. Up 'til that point she seemed sad and not angry during that night.
On Tuesday, I tried to talk to her, and tried to see If she wanted to meet up, but she said she was angry, and she was pretty rude with me when talking, so I gave up.
Since then I've not even tried to contact her, if she wants me back in her life, she has to make a move too. Even though, I want her back in my life, as this last four months have been the best months of my life. She is still in love with me, and I'm still in love with her. How can I fix this? | GF broke up with me, is now really pissed, and I want her back in my life. What should I do? |
t3_2gfxvb | relationships | I [17 [F] invited my friend [18 [M] on a trip. He said he didn't have the money, but then went on the exact same trip with someone else. | I invited one of my friends to the concert thing out of my state a few weeks ago, but he said he didn't have the money to get there or anything, so I said it'd be fine I could help cover it. Then he said that'd be really great, and that he'd think about it and let me know. I never heard back.
Then a little bit ago I saw a picture of him and two other guys.... at the concert I invited him to and ended up not going to cause he never got back to me!! :(
What should I do?? I feel like I should be mad, or react in some way at least.. Or maybe say something. But at the same time I like him a lot and can't make myself feel anything but crying. | invited someone to concert, they went with other people |
t3_1o65ga | relationship_advice | My[20/f] father [~60/m] punishes monetarily. Is this fair and how should I go about this? | My dad doesn't know how else to punish me so he just takes money away from me. Mind you, I work for him so by "taking money away" it really just means I won't get paid.
Recently, my boyfriend went to my house to pick up something that I needed for school (my dad previously said he didn't want him on his property because he doesn't like him) and when my dad found out he said he'd take away $100. This is a full day of work that I'm doing for him and won't get paid for. I wouldn't be working for him if I didn't get paid. I need the money badly this month and the $100 seems like a lot to me. He has done this before where he doesn't like something and takes $100 as punishment.
Reasoning doesn't seem to work with him. He doesn't listen and even if he thought what he was doing wasn't right he still won't fix it. Personally, I think it's a pride thing. | my dad punishes me by taking $100 of my money which means I work for him for free and that's apparently my punishment. |
t3_4l1j3j | relationships | My best friend [M15] stopped being my best friend [M15] | Hey
I have this best friend, both M by the way, who used to be like my brother. We would litteraly do everything together and we were really good friends and we would go on his boat and just chill and hangout everyday during the summer.
He was the one person who I could trust with most things and relate too.
A little after 10th grade, our little "group" we had kept teasing him and making fun of him about that he was put in this somewhat resource like class, where the work is just easier. He was constantly getting picked on and j never picked on him because A) Best friend and B) stupid reason to make fun of someone for.
After that, he kind of stopped hanging out with our group and even though I preferred to hang out with him and other people, he always left after school and never stayed around. I started talking to him less and I noticed he started hanging out with other people that wernt doing the best of choices. He started doing weed, basically every single day, other stuff and we barely even talked at that point. I'm not saying me and him didnt do stuff, but he was abusing it. We talk sometimes in one of the classes we have but other then that he basically ignores me.
It seems like he's forgotten who his best friend for so long has been and all the good memories. Just gone. This feels good to get off my chest and I do feel really bad about all this because I don't have anyone I wanna hangout with anymore and no one I can trust and chill with. He was the one person that I knew I could trust.
I really don't know what to do at this point. It's been almost half a year like this and it really sucks. | best friend was my best friend, was made fun of by friends, started hanging out with other people, doesn't really talk to me that much. |
t3_hbkvu | AskReddit | http://costofwar.com/en/ Why does nobody say anything about the cost of a war during an economic crisis? | It's Shit loads of money and they go on about how they're gonna be cutting a few millions from education in derpsville and the price of food and gas and everything just goes up. I get that there's jobs from war that benefit the economy, and I get that there's a need for a badass looking army, but why do the big powers like US and UK feel the need to constantly be at war with someone somewhere just for the sake of it when it costs so much money that could make your society fucking own? I'll gladly change my views if there's a fair reasoning for it (: | Why are we at wars that we don't need to be in when they're so fucking expensive? Please try to explain it to me! |
t3_1ewsim | relationships | How do I (21,F) be supportive to my boyfriend (26, M) when he shares how his last relationship ended badly? | My boyfriend (26 M) and I (21 F) have been together since January and have been officially dating for about two months. We have fallen into a really deep and wonderful kind of love, and I love how few walls we have up in our relationship. A couple days ago, his ex girlfriend texted him out of the blue to say that she had seen his mom around town, and then last night, he had a dream that she was in. Apparently, in his dream he was coming to visit me at school, and she came and picked him up from the airport. Then he and I would be spending time together and she would awkwardly be there and not saying anything. Eventually, she left, and he and I made love on the floor of his room very intimately for a long time, and that was how the dream ended.
Obviously, this ended up sparking some conversation about his old relationship. He and his ex broke up 3 years ago, but he hasn't had a serious relationship since then. I asked him about why they broke up, and he rehashed basically their entire five year relationship that was a series of breakups and subsequent makeups that were very painful, until she cheated on him.
It concerns me a little bit that he is still having dreams about his ex after three years, but I think it makes sense considering that I'm the first serious relationship he's been in since then. I just don't really know how to respond appropriately to him sharing this with me. Usually, if a friend told me this story I would just be like "well obviously she sucks." But I feel like as his new girlfriend, bashing his ex-girlfriend is pretty tactless. What is the best way to make him feel supported in this situation? | my boyfriend had a really messy, painful relationship that he just explained to me. How do I respond to the news? |
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