id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 1
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.51k
| summary
stringlengths 0
1.79k
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_2d77bc | relationship_advice | My [19/m] FWB turned gf (19/f) wants to be FWB again | Hi all,
A few things before i start - this might get a bit long, so sorry in advance. Also, sorry for any formatting errors. And finally, my grammar might be really terrible at the moment.
Okay so, about 6 months ago i met a girl on Craigslist after i posted an ad looking for a FWB. We got along great and decided we'd become FWB's. After a while i started to really like her and get attached to her, i probably should have ended it or taken a break when feelings got involved but i didn't. Then a bit after that she started seeing someone and that's when i finally told her i liked her and that's when she told me she felt the same. We decided to give something more than FWB a go and it worked for a while **I feel at this point i should mention that a month or 2 before we met, she had just ended a 4 year relationship** I also don't know why i felt the need to put that in bold.
It worked up until a few days ago when she said she can't do "this" anymore and said she doesn't feel close to me anymore and wants to go back to being FWB's for a while. I guess the advice i'm after is whether or not you beautiful people think it's a good idea for me to take her up on the offer of going back to FWB's. I still really, really like her. I get jealous whenever i think of her with someone else so i'm worried that if we do that, i'll just be a jealous mess all the time. | FWB turned gf wants to go back to being FWB, i really like her and want to keep seeing her but i am worried this might end in me getting hurt, what should i do? |
t3_3tf7wu | relationships | Me [22 M] with my [23 F] international student friend? Should I date her? | Hello:
I have this new friend I made recently who is an international student visiting my country to attend english school and to work for a period of time.
We have recently started to hang out often and I find myself slowly growing feels for her. We have a few things in common and we get along well. The language barrier isn't too much of an issue, I'm pretty much accustomed to that.
The thought occurred to me that this girl is someone I would certainly date, but there is an issue that I'm concerned about. Would it be worth starting a relationship with someone who isn't going to be in my country permanently? IIRC she's only going be to here for another year or so before heading back to her country.
Is it worth emotionally investing into someone with circumstances like that or should I just take a leap of faith and see where it goes. | should I enter a relationship with an international student who will only be in my country for a year or two? |
t3_4mls0i | relationships | I [21/M] was just cheated on by my girlfriend [26/F] and could really use some advice | So, girlfriend and I have been together for just over a year, and the past couple months haven't been too great. We've fought a lot lately but honestly I thought I was going to marry this girl. I also lost my virginity to her so there's a pretty close connection there too.
This whole past week she said she wanted her space because we'd been fighting a lot. And so I gave her the space she wanted. I didn't really talk to her much or see her at all this week.
I was supposed to take her out on a date to this really nice restaurant tonight and we were just going out with our friends on our own last night. So that happened and then she texted me once she got back to her apartment and told me to come over. I went over there at 2am and that's when she proceeded to tell me she had slept with another guy 3 days ago.
I'm so beyond heartbroken. I honestly thought this girl was the one and come to find out that this happened. I don't even know what to do. I've never felt so low or so shitty about something in my entire life. What advice can you give me to help me get through this? | My girlfriend who I lost my virginity to cheated on me 3 days ago and I just found out last night. I'm so broken right now. What advice can you give me to help me get through this? |
t3_2cpwrv | tifu | TIFU by attempting to mow the lawn | I am a college student, and I'm home for the summer. Today, my mom asked me if I could mow the lawn. "Sure!" I replied enthusiastically. I proceeded to walk outside in just athletic shorts and shoes, deciding against a shirt due to the southern summer heat. We keep our lawnmower in a small shed behind our house. I pulled out the lawnmower, only to discover that some ants had decided to colonize it. Annoyed, I brushed off as many off as I could, and thanked the Lord that at least they weren't fire ants. I began to push the lawn mower towards the front lawn, when all of a sudden my right shin started to burn. I looked down, and saw about 8-10 bees with their stingers firmly planted in my leg. It dawned on me that I must've rolled over a nest. I quickly scraped the the bees on my leg off with my other foot, and took off running. As luck would have it, a bee decided to plant a stinger in the small of my back, right over my spine. I, being the genius that I am, was of course not wearing a shirt. Now, here I am, starting to doze off because of the Benadryl. I know full well that at the very least, I will have to go retrieve the lawn mower and gas tank from the bee swarm's clutches at some point. Fuck you, insects. Fuck you. | Tried to mow my lawn, greeted by an ant colony and attacked by a swarm of bees for my troubles. |
t3_118e60 | AskReddit | Reddit, what's the most obnoxious thing you've done to get back at your roommates? | Some context: I recently moved into an apartment on campus at my university. The school provides us with a roommate agreement form in which my roommates and I all agreed that the quiet hours would be from Midnight through 8am. However, one of my housemates wakes up at 6am to Skype with his girlfriend very loudly every single morning. We've all approached him about it several times asking him to quiet down until at least 8am, yet he continues to wake us all up at 6am every day.
Last night I decided to blast music at 10pm in a passive- aggressive attempt to get back at him. He had the audacity to tell me to turn it down. The way I see it though, if he's going to deprive me of sleep every day, I'm going to do the same to him. I am not a happy camper. | Blasted music at 10pm last night to get back at my roommate because he talks obnoxiously loud early in the mornings. |
t3_3svswq | relationships | Me 32 M with my gf 29 F, 7 years together, i asked her 3 months ago to marry me, but i didn't take a clear answer yet | Hello people
I am 32 and my gf is 29. She is the only child of her family and she lives just with her mother since she was 8. Now i live also with my father and here is my story:
So. We were 6 years together, each in a different city about 160km away. We were meeting 2-3 days per week in my house and it was fine. I had my job there and i was living alone, so we had our space. The rest days we were talking through internet. After a long time i reallised she won't move to my place permantly, because of her job and her mother, so i made a big step and found a job in her city, where my father lives. This happened a year ago. And i did that because i want to marry her.
So were closer now but we were not living together. We talked about living together but she was hesitating. Anyway i thought it was time to propose to her. Maybe this way she could realize that i want to live with her as a normal couple. So 3 months ago i asked her to marry me. Her reaction was a shock! She didnt expecting that. So i told her, ok take your time i know it is a big decision for you. 3 months now we are as always, i try to take an answer but she is still not sure. So a week ago i told her that we should take a break for a while and that i can't move on like this, until she makes it clear what she wants.
I love her and she has proved all these years that she loves me too. So what is wrong with the proposal and cant take a decision? Is it because she is the only child and lives many years just with her mother? Is it normal?
Before the proposal everything seemed just fine. I try to give her time but is reaaly hard for me and i dont know how long i can stand all this.
And i need your opionion
p.s. I know my english is bad, i hope you make sense | I love her and i asked her to marry me. 3 months now and she didn't make it clear to me if she is YES or NO I CAN'T |
t3_aobxk | AskReddit | Just got Scammed on ebay, Now what? | Just before christmas I decided to buy an iphone for my mother's birthday which was later in January. I shopped around and found the cheapest to be on Ebay US, despite being an Australian resident, I figured it would arrive on time and purchased [this](
It took almost 2 weeks to arrive, but it came yesterday (a week before my mother's birthday)...I decided to open it up to inspect the phone and found I had purchased a fake copy, despite no mention of a clone in the item's description.
[pic 1](
[pic 2](
It arrived with a charger, spare battery and sylus. The front of the phone has a camera, which the real iphone 3g doesnt and as well as having flash next to the camera, the back says "Ti-Phone 3g Camera 10.2 MEGA PIXELS 16GB FLASH-LIGHT"...The OS, is incredibly slow and ugly like any chinese phone, complete with Tv tuner and dual sim. Also, after inspecting it...i found it has only 70mb rather than the promised 16gb.
I contacted ebay and they told me to make a paypal claim. After making a claim and ringing paypal, I was told that in the last week, there were a few similar claims against the seller and he has not responded to any of them. Despite the obvious scam, I cannot get a refund until I wait 10 days for the guy to reply or 30 days for the final decision.
I need the refund to atleast attempt to buy my mum another gift, is there anyway i can speed up this process? What happens if I don't get a refund in time? should I tell my mum what happened? will I look cheap? | Bought a fake iphone thinking it was real, need a refund within 7 days. |
t3_38wkw0 | offmychest | I'm falling out of love. | Throwaway Account included.
To shorten the bullshit, I've beem in a committed relationship for 3 years. My SO was dumb in our first year, and paired with a friend (let's call her Fuckhead) to flip houses for profits.
It worked well for a while, but now since we've moved across the country and have to rely on Fuckhead to deal with rentors, House maintenance, etc it's gone to shit.
My SO and I have barely any money left over from her loans and fees, and our rent to afford food, let alone extremities. I haven't changed my Car tags to my current Residence, and haven't afforded car insurance in god knows when.
Fuckhead was supposed to cover half of the fees included with both houses, but hasm't since we moved across the country.
SO and I constantly argue, heckle and fight with each other, mainly over food. She still wants priviledges like fast food and internet, where I can deal with Ramen, veggies and potatoes.
All in all, I can't even break up with her, seeing as she cannot afford Rent and her loans by herself, and is now fully dependant on me for financial security, where I can't afford to pay off crucial shit like insurance and Legalwork. | Fuck you, read above. |
t3_1i6vve | tifu | TIFU and pooped my pants in my husbands car... | So, I'm on a diet and ate several pickles for lunch...I thought it was a great idea at the time, hell, i love pickles and they're like, zero calories....
well, that was all well and good until my husband and I were driving home from dinner 4 hours later and I started to feel like I was going to have to go to the bathroom, soon.
Now, I've had this in the past, so I just said "hun, we need to get home now, i have to go to the bathroom", he responded with "::sigh:: ok, we'll get there are soon as we can". I said, "no you don't understand, I have to go now". I directed him back onto the main road where I knew there was a burger king. I thought I was home free, I could literally see the burger king right in front of me, as we grew closer, suddenly I had this horrible feeling and then it happened...
I just started pooping....like, unstoppable soft serve poop. I instantly reached behind me and grabbed a plastic walmart bag and spread it on the seat beneath me to protect the car seat it was horrible. I was hysterical half crying/half almost laughing at the terrible circumstance I had found myself in. I yelled and cried over and over, "oh god, It just keeps happening!". Needless to say, by now, my husband never stopped at BK, and sped home. We arrived and he graciously ran upstairs and brought me a towel to wrap around my waist...I took a long hot shower, and broke down in hysterical crying off and on for a good while afterward...it's been a terrible day. | too many pickles leads to uncontrollable diarrhea. plan accordingly. |
t3_1y55qm | relationships | I[17M] really like my best friend[17F], How do I get over this feeling? | Hi,
I recently have admitted to myself that yes, I have fallen into the trap of liking my best friend. Honestly don't know what I would do without her. Bit of background information on our friendship, skip to the last paragraph if you don't want to read it all.
So a bit of background information. For the purpose of ease I shall call my best friend whom I like now, Jill. The two of us met around 4 year's ago when I liked a friend of Jill. Around this time I became close with Jill spending a lot of time with her. I broke up with my girlfriend at the time and stayed friends with Jill. She eventually liked me and I politely declined her and dated another of her friends.
The whole time we both stayed best friends and became even closer with her helping me through another two breakups. Soon after Jill began dating a guy two years older than her. Skip forward just over two year's and Jill is still together with the boyfriend, but however in a long distance relationship because he moved to a city that's a two hour plane flight away. Jill and I have stayed best friends the whole time and recently I have realized that I have feelings for her.
Jill and her boyfriend show no signs of breaking up anytime soon. I love this girl, we have gone through so much together over the year's. The two of us are so close and I would tear myself apart if we were no longer friends. However if my feelings continue it could well come to that even if I don't want it to. My question's are; How do I get over my feeling's for her? How do I proceed for the time being? I feel like such a fucking idiot getting feelings for her cause I could ruin this friendship which I think is the best thing to ever happen to me and nothing make's me happier than spending time with her.
I am really conflicted as to the course of action I should take. I wish to keep the friendship that I have with her. | I like my best friend who is already taken; I am a fucking idiot. |
t3_31t0xt | legaladvice | [TX] I was hit by a car while walking across an intersection with right-of-way. What are my options? | Hello /r/legaladvice!
I've never dealt with anything like this, and I'm very much in need of some professional help. I am a 21 year old male, and I was recently hit by a car while walking across an intersection after getting the signal to cross. The driver turned left into me, at about 15-20 MPH. Fortunately, he pulled over and encouraged me to call the police, his excuse being that he was being unobservant. I have a witness who was at the adjacent crosswalk and saw the whole thing, and I have his contact info. The EMS told me that if the driver has car insurance (he does, I have the information), that my ambulance ride is covered by that.
I went to the ER, and got a few stitches in the back of my shoulder, but had no broken bones or head trauma. I was cleaned up and released in a few hours.
What are my options from here? I have very good health insurance, but I do not want to have to pay hundreds in medical bills for this.
Can I take this guy to court for anything? My biggest fear is having shoulder/joint/whatever problems later in life because of this.
I'm not sure what my options are here. I'm currently at university in Indiana as well (I had returned home to Texas for spring break), making things a bit more complicated.
I can post pictures if that would help with the severity of the case.
Again, I don't know how to go about this or even ask about it really, if I didn't include something important, please let me know. | I was struck by a turning car in broad daylight with right-of-way and a witness. I want to make sure my ER visit and ambulance ride are covered, and even more what exactly my options are from here. |
t3_1674oo | relationships | My boyfriend (M24) has been compared to his twin brother almost his entire life. How can I (F22) help improve his body image? | He's a happy, easy-going person, and altogether confident in himself, except for his body image. His entire life, he's been constantly compared to his twin brother by their peers. This wasn't too much of a problem until they underwent puberty differently. Pretty much, my boyfriend got the personality while his twin got the looks. It's mainly the weight difference that's getting to him. My BF's slightly heavier than his brother, which makes no difference to me, but almost all of my BF's friends admit to him that his being larger is the main thing that sets them apart physically. It's devastating.
He constantly tells me how he's ugly, not good looking enough for me, how I should've just picked his brother over him, etc., but I remind him every day of how beautiful he is, and how to me he's perfect. I move schedules so I can spend more time with him, sex and cuddles aplenty, buy spontaneous gifts now and then to show him I'm thinking of him, and simply tell him verbally (and he does all the same for me). I try to do all that I can for him, but as I'm not a twin, or even have a sibling of the same sex, I can't exactly relate to him in his situation. I feel like I've run out of ways to prove to him that he really is beautiful.
He's also lost twenty pounds in the last two months, and while I've seen a boost in confidence (and overall health) from the weight loss, and encourage him to keep going until he reaches his goal, I still feel guilty because sometimes I feel like he's losing weight for the wrong reasons. I also don't want him thinking that I actually did find it a problem that he was heavier. I just want him to be happy with himself.
I'm working with almost 16 years of "damage" (for extreme lack of a better word). Is there anything else I can do to help him improve his body image? | My boyfriend was known as "the fatter twin" almost his whole life (when he really isn't even that large), which has taken a major toll on his body image. What can I do to help change the way he sees himself? |
t3_17oq40 | relationships | Bf [26m] seems inexperienced with relationships and somewhat closed. Is it worth my [21f] time persisting? | As a bit of background, we've been going out about 3 months now. Both weren't looking for a relationship but we had so much in common and enjoyed each others company so became fwb about 2 weeks after meeting, and pretty much dating from that point onwards.
I really like this guy, and in many ways he is absolutely ideal. However, our experience with relationships (even friendships) seem vastly different and this influences our attitude towards the relationship we have. We have both only been in one relationship prior to this (lasting 2 years). I think it would be easier to summarise the main differences in dot points so here goes:
Him:
- Seemed not particularly invested in past relationship, never confided much in the girl, never became particularly close.
- Hasn't had many close friendships, barely any friends til well into college. Relocated to my country and doesn't seem to have any very close friends, although he does have acquaintances and some friends
- Never discussed personal things with friends, confided in people. Prides himself in being independent and as a result doesn't seem emotionally tethered to people.
Me:
- Was best friends with my ex (whilst dating), had very intense relationship and knew each other better than anyone else. (I should add that this relationship wasn't that great in many ways and so I am not seeking to recreate this)
- Has had close friendships throughout my life and retain ties with people that I really connect with.
- Am relatively open and have always considered openness essential in close friendships/relationships. | Am I correct in thinking that you need to be open with a partner? How do I help him open up to me? Or alternatively, does this indicate that the relationship is not going to work? |
t3_312yf6 | weddingplanning | Took our FOCCUS Questionnaire this weekend - Step 1 of Pre-Cana = DONE! | So I've probably said this around before but in order to get married in the Catholic church, we have to take Pre-Cana classes. Our parish thankfully only requires FOCCUS, which is essentially a pre-marriage questionnaire that contains approximately 150 questions (though ours actually had 170 because we live together). We then have to have meetings with our Deacon and his wife and discuss the answers to our questions.
If you're curious about a couple of the questions they ask....I SSed the funny ones :X ......If you want to be surprised about what they ask [DONT CLICK THIS] | [OR THIS!!](
A couple things I noticed that is a common theme: Questions on substance abuse, lots of questions about homosexuality, and a really uncomfortable number of questions regarding our sex life. Thankfully I am confident that FH and I are on the exact same page on these, but could you imagine having to discuss any of those things with the Deacon? #Awkward
Luckily we don't have to do a retreat like some of our friends. In theirs, they had to discuss their disagreements in front of the group and listen as everyone went through some of their issues as well.
Did anyone else do FOCCUS and was anyone actually surprised on the things you and SO conflicted on?
We don't have our results yet, but I'm pretty sure I know what we agreed on and what we didn't already lol because we've been together so long and have definitely talked about all the things they asked us about already. It'll be interesting to see if I'm right! | FOCCUS is an interesting questionnaire. Answered 170 questions. Anyone else take it? And your thoughts? |
t3_1bsyz6 | dogs | My puppy just got out of surgery and can't sleep or walk around with a cone on her head [help] | Hi there! I just got a dog from a neighbor. She's an 8mo old puppy who had never been to the vet. Yesterday I took her to get spayed and get all her vaccinations and whatnot. She's really out of it now. I have her on what I am assuming are some pretty intense pain meds, because my otherwise extremely high-energy dog is pretty lethargic and depressed seeming, as well as dizzy and nauseated acting. I can't take her on runs for the next week (and therefore can't take her to work -- I don't have a car, so she runs there with me) which I think she realizes and is pretty sad about. So she has to stay at home by herself all day.
The problem is, she's pretty dizzy, and can't really do much with the cone. She keeps running into things, and can't get on or off the couch or the bed when wearing the cone. She also can't eat or drink with it. Finally, she's so uncomfortable with it on that she can't sleep either. But I can't leave her alone without the cone because she absolutely will lick her stitches.
I have the ability to leave work for 45 minutes twice a day (12 hr workday) to go home and let her out to pee, but I'm mostly worried about her sanity. | Any advice on how to keep her fed/hydrated/mobile/entertained while home alone and wearing a cone? |
t3_37dxvb | relationships | My [20F] Bestfriend [21F] Saved Nude Photos of my Boyfriend [20M] | My bestfriend was at my house today and I left my phone in my bedroom while I was in another room, after she left I got an email notification for HER email. So I went to it and she had her account set up on my phone and forgot to remove the account, I saw pictures she sent to herself while she was over here, and they were of my boyfriend. So she went through my photos on my phone, and sent them to her email so she could save them herself.
I've never been this pissed off in my entire life and I don't know how to approach this situation. I don't want comments about sending nudes to each other being stupid, we've been together for over 3 years and we trust each other. What should I do? I think I need to confront her about it, but I don't want to say something in advance that could give her time to prepare for it. I kind of want to go on her computer/phone and see for myself if she has them saved, so I'd want to maybe ideally confront her while I'm at her house on her computer with her? So she doesn't have time to delete the pics/or hide them in some other folder or something. And do I have to tell my boyfriend? What do you think? | My bestfriend signed into her email on my phone to send nude pictures of my boyfriend from my phone to her email. |
t3_lafz9 | AskReddit | I was charged for a medium, and got a small | Now that I have your attention here is what happened:
I went in to a convenience store craving some soda. I went to the fountain machine, and seen the small was $0.99 and the medium was $1.59. I decided to grab a small cup, fill it with Dr. Pepper, and drink some at the fountain. I drank about 1/3 of the cup, maybe a little more, then topped it off, and went to pay. When I went to pay, they rang up the medium price. I said, "Hey, I got a small" and then he said, "Oh no! My boss say charge you for medium. You drink all the soda! We saw you. We have you on camera!" So, I was getting very steamed, but at the same time thought, "Well, I can't really argue with you. I did drink quite a bit" but at the same time, I couldn't help think, "How many people come in here and drink some before topping it off!?" I admit, that's why I love soda machines. If I am going to a Taco Bell, I like to go in and get a medium or so size cup, drink some Mountain Dew at the soda machine, and then top off and leave. I don't know what to think. I believe they are fully justified in charging me more, but how much does soda cost them anyway? I remember reading an article that stated soda, on average, costs McDonalds $0.12 per cup. If you search on the internet, the profit margin is ridiculous. Regardless, I believe they are right, but I am also harboring resentment in going back to that store. | I drank soda at a fountain machine out of a small cup, and was charged for a medium. |
t3_sqx2j | relationships | Over-worked, over-tired BF help? | My bf [24] and I [20/f] have been together for...7 months today. (woot!)
We love each other very much, and try to spend as much time together as possible. We rarely fight, and have a lot in common emotionally. We only have a handful of shared interests, but we're both introducing each other to new things, ie; I now have an undying love for Star Trek TNG. I still live in my parent's place, but I'm over at his house at least 3 days a week. This summer, I am planning to get a job near him and he invited me to live with him during the week for convenience's sake.
Reccently he took a contract that has him working all sorts of crazy hours, and sometimes on weekends (our prime time). He sleeps all day and is working 16 hours + shifts at night. He will have these crazy hours until September.
I've noticed that since he has taken the job, our relationship has shifted somewhat. It is obviously taking a toll on him, and he is lashing out at me with unintentionally harsh comments. Also, if I don't agree to something he wants when he's free he tends to...get upset. And by upset I mean storm out of his apartment and wait to see if I will follow. (I didn't.)
To be fair, I've been on my period for freaking WEEKS and am super sensitive to stuff. He has accused me of 'whining' a lot. Which, admittedly I can be whiny.... but he has never said that to me before. I've noticed a change. He does not want to spend as much time with me as normal, and obviously needs to sleep.
Any tips for dating someone with a hectic work schedule? I don't want this contract to cause strain in our relationship! | bf got a new contract, working a lot and is grumpy pants. Advice? |
t3_12iwol | AskReddit | How to find a hypnotherapist (what to look for), and is it right for me? | My issue is that I am a bully to myself. Basically my self-esteem is really low, and I blame myself for more or less any problem that arises in my life. I can start each day looking ahead in a positive way, but almost always by the end of the day I am keeping my self down.
I would like to try hypnotherapy to see if it could help me with this. I get the feeling there are plenty of scams out there, but it seems possible there might be some good practitioners. How do I find the good ones? | I am getting sleepy, very sleepy. |
t3_4lxyna | relationships | When do I [24F] tell the guy I've been dating [24M] that I have schizophrenia? | I was diagnosed with schizophrenia about a year ago. I was seeing someone at the time and when I was diagnosed he completely ditched me after I told him the news. Since then I've been single and haven't even really thought about dating until I got this under control.
I've been on medication and going to therapy. I've been seeing another guy for a while now since I started and I really really like him. We have absolutely everything in common, and I'm kind of a weirdo so this doesn't happen often to me. We spend a lot of time together considering. But I know in time he'll start to take notice to my antisocial behavior, paranoia, and me just generally not making sense sometimes...
In the past I've had different reactions when I told those I cared about, none of them really positive. Either it makes people so uncomfortable that no one wants to talk about it, it freaks them out so they leave, or they become annoyed of my strange behavior/episodes if they witness it. So yeah, I've had no support on this. If the people that I've built relationships with for years won't support me through this, I can't imagine a romantic partner I've only known a short amount of time will.
I'm conflicted. I talked to a couple friends. One told me I should tell him as soon as possible so he knows what he's getting into or else he might be offended that I hid this for so long, another said I should wait because it's kind of a heavy subject and I shouldn't talk about anything until I'm comfortable with telling him.
I'm just so terrified of losing such a good bond and connection due to something that is not my fault at all. This illness is already so difficult for me as it is. Any advice would be appreciated... | I have been seeing a guy for a while and I have schizophrenia. Not sure when is the right time to tell him about this. Or when's the right time to come out with this in general when dating someone. |
t3_2qlw2l | relationships | Me [20 M] just asked a 19/F out and she said not yet? | So for the past month and a half I've been seeing a girl. Been on a couple of dates and we've been talking every day since. We've known each other for a year now and there has always been a bit of attraction.
However, we were at a Christmas party and she got really drunk and confessed all her feelings towards me. She told me that she had really strong feelings for me and she kept coming onto me. I was talking to her friends as well that night and he friends were just telling me to be careful due to her ex boyfriends having cheated on her and told me to ask her out because she was "crazy about me". I really do like this girl and about 6 months ago I came out of a 2 year relationship and I have been through traumatic relationships as most of my relationships have ended up on me being cheated on so which she knows as we have talked about our exes.
So after talking to her best friend and her convincing me it would definitely happen if I asked her out I decided to take her on another date. So last night we went out on a date and we ended up sitting in my car and talking for a while. She asked me what we were and so I pretty much asked her out and then she said not yet? She wouldn't give me a reason but she just said not yet? I'm now heavily considering cutting my losses and just accepting she actually isn't really that into me but when her friend talked to me this morning she just said I think she's a bit weary about being in a relationship. Any help or ideas would be appreciated. | Have been seeing this girl for the past month and a half and I know she likes me. Asked her out and she said not yet |
t3_gwsri | AskReddit | Legal Questions Regarding Minors Serving Alcohol (in NY) | My friend is having her college sports team's formal in her apartment. She and her roommate are both under 21, as well is most of the other girls on the team. Normally when we have parties here we don't worry too much about the cops because everyone brings their own alcohol, no one would be held responsible. However, for the formal, a small group of the girls are collecting money and buying alcohol for the group to share.
In order to spread out the blame, another girl (not my friend) is collecting the money, while another girl is buying the alcohol. She also plans on staying completely sober during the party to make sure everything run smoothly.
As far as reasonable suspicion goes, we've never had any noise complains before (the pizzeria below us is plenty loud), but one of the girls on the team is bitter she isn't holding the party herself, which makes us a little worried.
My question is, can my friend be held accountable for serving alcohol in her apartment without a permit? | My under 21 friend is hosting an alcoholic gathering in her dwelling. Can she be held accountable for serving [to minors] without a license? |
t3_2pt9oj | relationships | My [18F] parents [50F 60M] are showering me with gifts bc I may die. What should I do? | A couple months ago I found out that I have a cyst/tumor (doctors don't know 100%) on my brain and I may have to undergo surgery sometime next year to remove it. This news has been taking a toll on my parents. They feel like they have to give me whatever I want and then some to prove that they care for me. You'd think that all these gifts would be a blessing, but its come to the point where they're spending so much money on pointless things that I don't need that I feel overwhelmed and have no way in thanking them for it.
I know that they're scared that they may lose their baby girl. It kinda bothers me bc we never talk about the effects that this cyst may cause if it gets bigger (seizures, headaches, blurred vision) or the risks of the surgery I might have to have (cyst is in middle of brain) are so instead they're being the nicest as they can be. My family doesn't really talk about their feelings to one another so this is the only way they see they can show their love.
Obviously I'm scared about this whole situation. And being in and out of multiple neurosurgeon's offices looking for a solution is a little frightening. I don't know what my parents would ever do if I were to pass. What should I do to let them know I don't need gifts from them to prove their love for me? | Parents are being overbearing with gifts bc I may have to undergo risky surgery. Seeking advice on how to tell them everything is going to be okay. |
t3_36zsvq | Advice | I'm sick of no one taking me seriously [M20] | I'm sick of everyone laughing at me when I don't hear them properly. I'm sick of them calling me a 'baby' when they just look at me, I literally can't do anything without them calling me 'cute'. Does no one realise how embarrassing and humiliating it is for your 'friends' to call you 'cute' when you show any sign of emotion? If I show any sign of anger they call me sassy, I'm not friggin sassy I'm trying to get my point across that I hate being treated like a baby and that it's my natural face don't insult it by saying I look harmless. Yes I'm physically smaller and relatively skinny but so many people, even strangers, have said I look cute for the sole purpose of embarrassing me.
This is an update thread from this thread. I've tried acting more dominant but it's just not working. No one can take me seriously and everyone's making fun of me because of it. I'm in my first year of university and am hoping to make new friends next year even though I'm living with some of these guys. | My 'friends' keep calling me cute and oblivious when I don't think they realise how annoyed it makes me feel. How can I stop this? |
t3_290p38 | relationships | Me [25 M] with my friend [27 F]. Her boyfriend doesn't know how close we are. | One of my co-workers (Jackie) is the closest friend I've ever had. We spend all day chatting at work via the IMing system. We chat after work sometimes on facebook. We grab a meal together outside of work sometimes. We make dumb jokes, tell each other about our lives, fight like siblings, etc.
I am single. Jackie has a very serious boyfriend, which is great for her. She let it slip to me last week that she doesn't really tell her boyfriend that we see each other outside of work alone. He has gotten jealous in the past, so this might be a reason why she's apprehensive. He also does not know the extent to which we talk.
I think that we both generally have a level head in what our friendship means to one another, and I don't think there is anything wrong with us being close. We don't really do anything inappropriate in our outside of work. That being said, I don't want to understate how important her friendship is to me, because she is very important. I'm just not really sure how to react to her intentionally hiding our friendship from her boyfriend.
I think my biggest fear is that if Jackie's boyfriend found out she was hiding our friendship from him, this might make him ask Jackie to talk to me anymore. That is not a battle I care to have or would try to win.
She told me that she would be jealous if her boyfriend had a best friend that was female, and especially if he hid her from my friend. This makes her feel a bit guilty. Never having been in this position, I don't think I fully appreciate how this makes her feel, and I would like some thoughts on that. | My best friend doesn't tell her boyfriend when we hang out. She also thinks that if her boyfriend had a female friend similar to our situation, she would be jealous. Should I tell her I'd prefer if her boyfriend was aware how close we are? Is her not telling her boyfriend inherently wrong? Am I doing something wrong by being so close to a taken woman? |
t3_3l93dk | relationships | I [m/16] am in hot water with a girl [f/17] flirting with me, and I'm not quite sure why | I've been talking/ flirting with this girl for about a month now and she became quite angry with me today. (I may sound really braggy/douchey in this story. I swear I'm telling these events as they happened, please don't put me on /r/thathappened)
We were talking like we usually do in the evening when she sent me a selfie snapchat, so I sent one back. She breaks out into a fit about how I'm really attractive and what not and said that "you have to be mine soon" and that "it's gonna be official soon". I joked that she was a creeper and asked her "what's gonna be official soon" ( is it just me or is that not clear at all ) and she said she's done and she doesn't play with kids and i don't pick up on hints.
I like her, I really do, but I legit don't know what know what I did wrong. Should I have said she's super hot too or shown some commitment? What should I do to fix it now? Thanks for any help and sorry if i formatted this wrong | girl got mad at me for not showing enough commitment ( i think) how do i fix |
t3_2wefxt | relationships | My (22m) girlfriend (22f) is from another country. She is going back forever in four months. She says she loves me, but she is trying to decide if she wants to end it now or later. | I have been dating a girl from another country for 5 months. She was expecting to return home in about a year.
Ever since we started dating we only saw each other once a week, and it frustrated the hell out of me. We got along great in person, but she seemed to dodge my invitations to go out.
We have never had sex (I am a virgin, she is not), I have had two opportunities (we were in bed), but I couldn't get hard (I have been watching too much porn for the past 10 years). This was one of my concerns, because 5 months seemed a long time to not have sex, but we are both shy and she is pretty religious.
Anyways, three weeks ago she told me she loved me (I didn't say it back, I was surprised). And yet I still was having issues with her "avoiding" my invitations to do stuff.
I had seen her twice since the "I love you", and I was getting fed up with being avoided so I told her yesterday that things weren't working. I didn't do it in the most polite way, because I was a bit angry and im inexperienced, but she told me she wanted to see me that night (last night).
She came over and I voiced my frustrations. She told me that last week she had an issue at work (long story) and that she was going home in four months. She told me that she freaked out when she told me that she loved me because when she came to the states she told herself she wouldn't date. She said that she was avoiding me because she didn't want to be broken hearted and depressed when she went back home, but that she loved me.
I told her that I loved her, and that I wanted to keep seeing her if it was a real relationship (more than once a week of seeing one another), she said that she has to think about it. What should I do? | My girlfriend and I are in love, but we don't see each other that often. She says its because she is going back home in four months and doesn't want to get too attached. I want to see her until she leaves, what do I do? |
t3_1kao55 | offmychest | You're a fool. | After knowing you since freshman year of high school, we've always been close. I've been there for you so many times, and vice versa. A few months ago when we were camping, I realized just how much I liked you. Something just clicked and it all made sense. I had been meaning to come forward and tell you how I felt. I mean, I didn't wanna tell you right away because you has just gotten out of a relationship at the time and I understand that.
But I finally tell you, after months and months, it all comes out. And, you tell me you feel the same way BUT, you're moving...1500 miles away to go live with a guy you met online, next month. I've been your best friend for, almost 5 years now, and you're just now telling me that you're moving away for some guy you've known for two months?
First off, he doesn't even have a job. He doesn't have his own place but will once you get there...because YOU'RE gonna be paying for all of it. Plus the fact that you haven't even Skyped with him or anything. You just text him and IM him on Facebook. S, you're smarter then that. And as much as it hurts to say this...I'm gonna love it when the "I to you so" starts happening.
I wanna tell you all of this, but I know it'll just turn into a big argument. So, I'm gonna let it go, and we're gonna watch a bunch of cheesy horror movies on the projector. | girl I like a lot, who likes me back is moving 1500 miles away to live with some guy who doesn't even have a job that she's known for two months. |
t3_3l55vn | relationships | I [18 m] just broke up with my now ex [18 F] after dating for two years | First time coming to this thread but its 3am where I am now and I don't really know what to do.
I just broke up with my girlfriend of two years because since I have moved into my own place and started attending college I have just felt overwhelmed with life. I have been trying my best to balance everything but honestly, nothing is balanced and everything kind of just went to shit.
I just broke up with her. We got together to talk about this issues a t about midnight and it took me three hours of spare talking and a lot of silence in order to even wrap my head around what I was about to say and try and deaden myself enough inside to not feel like puking on spot.
I didnt break up with her because of girls or anything like that. I've just felt so smothered and guilty because i was so foolish and promised her so many things earlier, that I cant even hope to keep now. I have dedicated my entire last 2 years to her pretty much, helping her with her anxiety and bipolar issues and being her rock for her to lean on.
I honestly just feel like a piece of shit human being for being so selfish i guess. For wanting to focus and get my life together... I'm not sure what I'm even doing. I just needed to vent. | I just broke up with my girlfriend of two years due to feeling guilty and smothered due to promises i made a while back that i no longer feel i can keep. I just feel like a piece of shit for wanting to stabilize me and needed to vent. Thanks. |
t3_1yixe8 | relationships | Me [21/F] with my ex [22 M/] of 5 years, still finding it extremely hard a month after he broke up with me. | Brief background: After 5 years he broke up with me by text (about a month ago) and has completely shut me out of his life so I've lost my best friend too. He's moving on in his life and I'm stuck so unhappy in a city that I moved to to be near him. I don't talk to my friends about it anymore because they all have their own pressures and worries to deal with.
I know it hasn't been that long in the run of things since he broke up with me, but I'm struggling so so much. I am trying to stay busy every minute that I'm awake and that mostly keeps me distracted but as soon as I go to bed it hits me. I'm not sleeping because I keep dreaming about him and my mind keeps fooling me into thinking he wants to get back together (obviously my sub-conscience wants this). I am trying to move on, see friends, lose myself in school work but it's not getting any easier and I really don't know what to do anymore. | Struggling to move on. Advice appreciated. |
t3_18eohk | dating_advice | I (30M) hooked up with a close friend (25F) and now i'm really confused. | Ooh, i feel like i'm in a bad sitcom..
About a year ago, my ex girlfriend ended our 5 years relationship. I'm having the hardest time getting over it. I don't want another relationship before i'm ready and healed. That's new to me, i always used to jump right to the next one to forget about the last. This time, i want to hook up with a lot of girls, maybe work abroad, live for myself.
About a year ago, my best bro dumped his girlfriend of 4 years. She's not over him yet, she always thought he was the love of her life. She wants a real relationship, to settle and think wedding, but she hasn't found the right guy.
She's my friend also, we go to the gym together, we talk, we have fun. We support each other because we know how the other feel.
I have a girlfriend, she has a boyfriend.
Last week end, we went out at a bar, got drunk and hooked up.
It was incredible. There was a spark, something that could turn into passion. It was not sex, as we passed out during foreplay (yeah, that drunk). But before that : the making out, the chasing each other in the streets, the laughters etc
The morning after was awkward. We haven't talked about it yet. I don't (and can't) even know what she thinks about all this.
My heart says : go for it ! You already did the passion thing, and it was so good.
My head says : oh hell no ! You already did the passion thing, and it can only end horribly bad. | clusterfuck; we hooked up; i want her; 100% chance to get burned; |
t3_fo7bp | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, how do you deal with condescending coworkers? | I just started working in my second ever office job and one of my fellow interns is the most awful, condescending person I've ever had to work with. This person is so rude and today they literally made me so angry I started shaking with the effort it took me to keep calm.
I can't say anything to my employers because it's not my place and while we have the same job, this person has been in the same position for a longer period of time and has a bit of authority.
Have any of you been in a similar situation? If so, how did you deal with it. | How do you deal with bitchy coworkers? |
t3_2uzftf | relationships | Me [23 M] meeting up with [21 F] for first time and i need advice on how to handle it. | Hi reddit,
This is my most visited subreddit by far coz i love reading a post and the comments to see if i would have handled things the same way as the advice of the top comments say.
Onto Girl [21 F].
I met her 3 weeks ago when a friend who works in the international exchange programme in a university needed someone who speaks both english and the local language to ensure a smooth trasition from airport to student residence.
The group of students arrived individually and the last student was a very attractive tall blonde girl and we hit it off i feel. There was a little flirting (unless i made it all up...). That was that.
A few days later i added her on facebook (had her name from the student checklist haha creeper...)
We talked for a bit and i said we should grab a drink sometime. She said sure! Fast forward a week where i message her to invite her to this house party and asked her if shed like to go and she again says she.
Now, onto my problem.. I suck at dating and reading signals, knowing when do be straight forward, when to do stuff. So should I take the fact that she accepted to come to a party alone where she'd only know me as a clue that shes into me? How should I greet her when we meet up before the party? How should i handle things as the night goes in? I was thinking of asking her to have a drink in a bar before going to the party as it starts pretty late...
What do you think reddit? | Meeting up with cute girl for first time, shes accepted to come to a party with me where ill be the only person she knows. Is she into me? How should i handl myself? Arrrrrgggg HELP |
t3_41621v | relationships | What does this girl want in guys? What am I doing wrong that other guys do right? | I am not a perfect guy, I'll admit that before I condescend upon others.
Also, I know the fact that she just doesn't like me is quite possibly all it boils down to however for the sake of this post I am entertaining the idea that it is more than that.
Now, here is what I have to say.
I met this girl a year back and soon fell in love with her. Things were going as expected, good, until I told her my birthday was coming up and she realized I was turning 18. She was a few years younger than me. However I was told this is not the reason. She was just getting over an ex. Which is understandable.
This is where I made a mistake, I remained friends with her. And having a friendship like this has only led me to self-lothing, anxiety, and impossible unfulfillable emotions.
So anyway we were friends for a while and in this while I noticed a pattern of the guys she dated. With one exception.
They are all high school athletes, popular in high school, younger than her, and in my opinion they are assholes. They use women for sex, naked pictures, etc. And when she is with someone like this it pisses me off. Also they have all cheated on her.
Anyway then there is an exception. He was her most serious boyfriend who I consider most like myself. Older (older than me even). He is the only one of her boyfriends I liked because I could tell he actually cared about her. His relationship with her developed through a close friendship, quite unlike how her other relationships began.
Anyway, this is a bit about myself to show how it compares and contrasts to what I have discovered. I am a college student, I am fit, muscular, and in shape, although I do not play sports. I was her best friend, and actually care about her.
I figured her choice in guys stemmed from being young and impressionable by "popularity" and other high school things. The guys she likes are well known, for good and bad. | My feelings for her were too strong to remain just friends. So for my own benefit I stopped talking to her, seeing her, and essentially ended our friendship. I have learned many things about life through this process. |
t3_ucwq2 | AskReddit | I had brunch with Dave Chappelle and his family. I then made him laugh and he called me "an exceptional teenager." What has been the most surreal moment of your life? | To be as specific as I can without giving any personal information, my girlfriend's sister is engaged to one of Dave Chappelle's close friends. I knew I was going to meet him, but when we arrived, we were a bit early, so I was assuming we'd have some time before Chappelle himself showed up. At that moment, he suddenly appears next to us, greets my girlfriend's mom, then extends a hand to me and just goes, "Dave, nice to meet you." I recall gurgling eloquently in reply. Anyway, my initial starstruck-ness faded slightly and we go in for brunch. His wife and three kids were there, and as the meal went on, I started to talk with his two incredibly bright young sons. I'm pretty good with kids (camp counselor) and was doing magic tricks, etc. Every once and a while Dave Chappelle would look over and smile, obviously glad that I was entertaining them so thoroughly. Eventually he comes over and I talk to him and his sons for a while about music; I write reviews for a popular Electronic music blog, and his kids are big dubstep fans. Looking back at it now, I can't even remember what I said that made him laugh, the day was kind of a blur, but I clearly remember the moment where I checked off the "Make one of the greatest stand-up comedians ever laugh" box in my mental to-do list. | I hung with Dave Chappelle. That was really was the gist of it, I rambled. |
t3_4ijbfb | relationships | [25/F] with my ex [24/M] of 3 years, pet custody | Back in October of last year, my boyfriend and I broke up. We had been together for quite a while. We got our husky puppy on my birthday. She's was my present. I had researched and looked online for months and months. I finally found her. She was the most adorable puppy, and I put a deposit on her of 250 dollars. My boyfriend said he would pay the rest (which was 400 dollars), and that she was my birthday present. We picked up the puppy and brought her home. I took her to her vet visits. I made sure she was up to date on all of her shots. I potty trained her. I got her groomed. I taught her to sit, stay, lay down, jump, speak. I even taught her to give me kisses after I fed and watered her. I love this dog like a child. She was AKC, so my boyfriend paid the registration fees, but I registered her in my name.
But as I said, my boyfriend and I broke up. I currently have no where to stay and I'm living with my mother. Unfortunately, her apartment complex does not allow animals, so I'm stuck in this situation until I can get a job. While I am in this situation, my ex has told me I cannot have the dog. That the dog is no longer mine. That I don't deserve anything of his. He will not even give me her papers where I have her registered. He has made it abundantly clear that if I do not get back with him that I will not have my dog. I am heartbroken over this, and I want to work this out. I just don't know what to do at this point. I know I may sound like a crazy person, but this keeps me up most nights. I cry, and I just don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice for me? Or any idea what I can do? | My ex won't give me my dog or her AKC papers. The dog was my birthday present, and I helped raise this dog. I don't know what to do. |
t3_2i02i6 | relationships | Me [25M] with my GF [22 F] of 3 years, wants to take a break | We have been dating for the last 3 years, as I had finished up college and as she started and went through college.
I always kept in the back of my mind that people change and grow, especially in their 20's. But I had never expected this at all.
We never had big arguments, just the small ones that every healthy relationship has. As far as I can tell there was no emotional or mental abuse. Just a loving and seemingly normal relationship.
We have been long distance since I graduated college though, but I made the effort to see her either every two weeks or once a month. Every time we Skyped or saw each other it was always all smiles, happiness, love, talking about the future together.
All of a sudden we get into a few small arguments and she thinks something is wrong and needs to discover herself. This all transpired within the last week.
I'm obviously crushed as I had all these future life plans with her for when she graduated (planning on leaving my job and following her to where she could get her best job). And she's indecisive on whether we are on a break or broken up.
She refuses to talk to me about this right now and I've turned to my friends for help with distraction.
I guess my question is, is this a normal occurrence with women? And if she figures things out and she wants to get back together how do I go from there? | GF of 3 years breaks up with me to discover herself, should I wait or should I move on? |
t3_155vkl | relationship_advice | [20/f] My boyfriend (28/m) says I'm mean for guilt tripping him to spend time with me. | We have been together for over two years and are very comfortable with each other. We both work often and hardly have time to see each other. When we do, he usually comes over just to spend the night. Our night consists of me watching tv waiting for him to get off the Internet. I feel insecure from our lack of intimacy in dating and sex. When we go out he hardly contributes to our conversation because he is too busy on the phone.
He tells me that it's a guy thing as his reason for not expressing how much he misses me. I spend so much time working and at school so on my day off I try to plan dates or just ask him to come over. After I plan time to spend together he blows me off for being too tired or for hanging out with his friends. I feel as though he doesnt make an effort to keep the intimacy in the relationship. He says that I'm not understanding and I should not make a big deal out of it.
It makes me disappointed and upset when he cancels our plans. I can't help it that I miss him and want to spend time with him. We do communicate but every time it ends the same way. We fight about how I guilt trip him and how he makes it as though it is my fault for not understanding.
How do I make him see the situation from my point of view? Am I the overly attached girlfriend? What can I do to change? | how do I make my boyfriend give me more attention withouth being overly attached or making it a guilt trip? |
t3_1fov5h | BreakUps | Single for the first time...ever. | I was in an 8 year relationship until three weeks ago. He broke up with me, but I don't feel bad. In fact, I'm perfectly fine. I think it's a bigger tragedy that I don't feel anything at all than that the relationship had to end. I think it already had, but I was the only one who didn't know.
We'd been long distance for four years, but we spent a lot of time together and made it work. Well, I did anyway. He said he didn't want to hold me back, and that he couldn't see a future for us. It's bizarre because the breakup was a surprise, and I was in love with him. Or at least I thought I was. Now, I'm not so sure. If I miss anything at all, I miss talking to my best friend every day. I feel like there should be more than that, because that pain gets easier by the hour.
Now I just want to be single, you know? I've never had the experience. I've had a stable relationship since I was fifteen years old. I'm not really sure how to do it. Dating is a strange, foreign concept. The idea of other men is exciting, but I don't know when I'll be ready to go there. There is one guy, but when I had the chance to be with him I backed down. I don't know whether I'm suppressing deeper feelings just to get through graduation, or if I'm really a robot after all. | Possibly a robot. Is that weird? |
t3_1g8vx1 | relationship_advice | Me[23] Girlfriend [22] is extremely embarrassed and disappointed at herself and disappointed her family. | My girlfriend wanted to save her virginity until marriage. I valued her virginity and left it the way she wanted, until she decided it was worth it to have sex with me. Well later down the line, her baby brother read through her texts on her phone and freaked out and found out she was having sex with me. Her mother found out from her brother and now my girlfriend feels extremely disappointed in herself and disappointed her family. I am not sure what is going to happen. I feel like her mother is going to tell her to break up with me. I care about her so much....
I am trying my best to comfort her but it does not seem like it is working.
Any advice? | Family disappointed that daughter did not wait til marriage to lose virginity. Do not know what to do. Advice? |
t3_3nzn86 | personalfinance | Help Financially Planning For Parent's Passing | Hi, PF. My mother (61y/o) was recently diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. The doctors are still deciding what to do, but I'd like some advice in case things don't turn out well.
My mom is divorced, currently living with my widowed grandfather in his house. He is in decent health, but getting old, so it's possible that I will be dealing with one or both of their estates in the near future. I am unsure of what we should do now, and what we should do after her/his passing. I have a few questions in mind for you guys, but I don't know what other questions I should be asking so please let me know what I'm missing. I'd appreciate any help.
1) It's my understanding that my mom holds the deed to my grandfather's house. Should I take ownership of the house now? Should it be left to me in a will? Should it go back to my grandfather? I'm concerned if she passes away first, and him needing long term care. Assuming my grandfather's pensions/savings cannot pay for care, it would have to come from the home's value.
2) If my Mom has any debt, credit cards, etc, how will I be notified of them and will the debt become my responsibility? Does the the credit card company put a claim on her estate? How do they find out?
3) Should I have my mom add my name to her bank accounts?
4) My mom mentioned adding me as a beneficiary to her pension. Is this a real thing? I was unaware I could inherit that.
5) What am I missing?
I'm 25 y/o, I have a great job, but I don't have the ability to absorb any large expenses. Should I be worried about having to do so? For example, will I have to quickly paying off a large credit card bill while waiting months for a life insurance payment? | Best tips for estate planning? |
t3_ewxm0 | AskReddit | Welcome to 2011 | Hello Reddit,
Long time lurker here, felt compelled to join thanks to [this] [this] and [this] (My ultimate lifehack for those interested is [this] It's been the most important tool I've ever owned. It's helped me out many times in ways I never thought possible. I strongly suggest you get one. Magnets... how do they work?)
So I was sat here playing [Plants vs Zombies] with James Bond on the telly in the background keeping me company while my gf is in bed. I started dreaming of a world without heavy-handed law enforcers, zombies, corrupt politicians and poverty, but with free-thinking, like minded people, plants, explorers, and easily accessible knowledge.
I realised we already have all the withs, we just need to fix all the withouts.
I know it sounds cliché, but we can do it! Let's try and make 2011 the year we make it happen. We've already started the ball rolling. Julian Assange has shown us the way. We have so much to gain, and we've already started losing our basic rights. That's not going to improve unless we speak out.
Please, do your bit, whatever it is. I'm counting on you Internets. | We are over 9000. All your base are belong to us. |
t3_st02v | dating_advice | Making a move on a guy friend | Known this guy for about a year, when hanging out/watching a movie at a friend's we'd sit together and cuddle/hold hands. Im almost positive he's interested. He hasn't really made any other obvious moves and I think he's shy/doesn't have much experience because he's only had 1 girlfriend and that was 1.5 years ago. So I was planning on going to a secluded place after school (the two of us), smoke a bit, and get close enough to just kiss him. And coyishly say that I really like him (to separate me from a random hookup). So do you think it would work? | like a close guy friend plan on just going for a kiss when alone with him. He's shown interest within the past week. Will it work/can I do this any better? |
t3_141iby | BreakUps | I(27m) now want my ex(29f) back after 9 months apart. We broke up mostly because I moved. | Throwaway here. I have a long story with some questions, too.
I was with my ex for about 10 months. Looking back, I feel like I always kept her at arm's length, making our relationship relatively casual. We would see each other on average once a week, but I know that she would have liked more. We talked often, and I felt close to her.
Then, one day I got a job offer. I had to act quickly, and I felt like I couldn't pass the opportunity up. However, the job would require me moving about 100 miles away. I took the job without discussing it with her.
Immediately after, things predictably went cold fast. I was okay with this. I needed the job and I was okay with moving to a new city. I knew that taking the job would lead to us going our separate ways. Without ever officially breaking up, we went long periods without even talking to each other. This did not bother me at the time. The new city, however, has always bothered me. I tried getting used to it, especially because I liked the job, but I just never liked it.
What confuses me, though, is that suddenly, I want my ex back. I have been thinking a lot about the mistakes I made. We have been talking lately, I apologized for those mistakes and I came clean with my feelings. I want her back and I want to be closer to her than I was in the past. What I would like to know is -- why has this come over me after so many months, particularly when I was the one who essentially initiated the break-up and was okay with it for so long?
...Also, do I have any reasonable shot at getting her back, and if so, how? | Months later, I want my ex back. Why? And can I get her back? |
t3_3473fj | tifu | TIFU by Meeting Another Redditor | I recently went back to school and I don't know anyone at my college. I was eating lunch at cafeteria sitting on a stool facing outwards towards glass wall. This guy sits next to me with his lunch and takes out his laptop from his backpack. I notice he starts to browse reddit.
I like to think I'm a pretty sociable guy so I looked at him, smiled and said "The narwhal bacons at midnight." | Tried to say hi to a stranger redditor in real life. Got shut down hard. |
t3_e1o4v | AskReddit | Problems at work; seeking advise. | Hey guys, I am experiencing some problems at work, and do not know what to do. This is getting very stressful and I am not sure what to do. Basically, I have been working at this company, for about 6 months, and I am still a contractor here. They are looking to hire me as soon as the hiring freeze is over, they cannot let me go, as they need men in my department. Anyways, there is a group of us, about 6, that work in the same department. One guy is freaking lazy as hell, and does not carry his load at work. I cannot go too much into details how so, but basically, when something is happening, it has to be monitored. Once that state is reached, it can be just glanced at. This dude pretends he is monitoring, while it doesn't need to be, and keeps telling people what to do, as if her were the boss. This is pissing everyone else off at work, and they are complaining and bitching to everyone, except for our supervisor and our head manager. These guys can go about and do what they want, without worrying about their jobs, since they are fully hired. This is becoming stressful for me cause I am the only one working hard over there. I cannot slack off, since I can risk losing my job. If I tell my supervisor that the guy is slacking off, he gets upset and says to tell the coworker what's on my mind. We've done that, and there is no result. I was thinking about going to the manager, bypassing my supervisor, but this would make me look like someone who does not follow the chain of command. Also, if I go to the manager, I might also be risking my job, since it may appear that I am not a team player/complainer. There is a lot of tough talk from the other coworkers, but nooone wants to man up. I would, but the only problem I have is that I am a contractor. I was out of a job for over a year, and finally got this great job. I do not want to risk losing my job, but I do want this stress to go away. What would you guys recommend? | I have a lazy coworker that doesn't carry his load. I cannot go complain, fearing that I may look like someone who is not a team player. It would make me look bad/jeopardize my job if I broke the chain of command and went to my manager and complained, since the supervisor isn't doing anything. |
t3_1d8a5z | relationships | I [30M] met someone else [24F]. Should i call off the wedding with my fiancee [25F] | I met a very nice girl a 4 months ago and recently proposed to her and now we are engaged. I was one of those cynics who never thought i'd ever get married but i don't know what got into me and i did it anyway.
Recently i met another girl and have fallen for her, my wishes to the contrary notwithstanding. She has strong feelings for me too. I have been trying to avoid meeting her but i can't stop thinking about her.
That i am already having these things does not bode well for the future. Maybe i was right all along - i am not the right person to ever get married.
Now i have a choice between calling off the marriage which would be a very big deal what with both the families being involved now and wedding preprations (which is in a couple of months) and all the hurt it would cause, or going through with it but possibly being mildly unhappy for a long time, which would also be unfair to my future wife.
I realize that it is completely my fault, but the only thing i am really concerned about right now is making the right decision for everyone. I really need some perspective on the situation. | I am engaged but thinking of someone else. Should i call off the wedding? |
t3_4vi2k9 | relationship_advice | M (28) needs advice on girlfriend (39) | I've been seeing this woman for a while now on and off for about three years. She is divorced and had a pretty disastrous first marriage. We're of different nationalities too.
Initially, I only saw it as casual but slowly she started depending on me and I tried reciprocating and it ended up getting to a point where I felt responsible for her and took care of her.
She had also broken my trust once financially and put me out of a lot of money on a failed deal. But she owed up for it and is making repayments.
Now the thing is that she has asked me to marry her.
I'm not really sure what I want. My gut feeling tells me this is going to be a disaster later on. So I told it to her clear and its broken off. She is taking it pretty badly and I feel guilty and sad about that. And deep inside I think I actually love her but I'm not so sure.
It's just the fear that she might change her colours as she always does.
She is extremely paranoid about other women, I've also cheated on her once, but that was during a time of turbulence and technically we were broken up.
There is a glaring age gap between us. I'm attracted to her but sometimes it falters. It's mostly due to the fact that I am as paranoid as well sometimes. I feel nothing for her sometimes while we have sex but I have this whole lot of love and care other times. I am sure she loves me as well. She is ready to leave behind everything too.
I'm sorry for the confusing recollection but I've been feeling quite low. | I don't know what to do with my girlfriend. I love her on one hand but I don't trust her enough out of experience. She isn't also doing her part. |
t3_1mwjzt | relationships | My (F23) fiancé (M24) (7 years) wants to sleep with other women. I have tried to be open to it, but I just don't think I can do it. | We've been together for 7 years and are planning to get married in the next year or two. Our relationship is great other than this issue. We have fun together, rarely argue, have built a life together and have a bright future ahead. We were each other's first for everything. A problem in our relationship had been that he feels he is missing out by not getting to have sex with other women. He has been having doubts about getting married because of this. I have been trying to be understanding and open about it. We had a threesome a while back and we both loved it. It's something that I'd love to do in the future. After the threesome he told me that the urge to go out and explore was gone, but then he said that it's crept back up on him lately.
I just don't think I could let him go through with it without being hurt. It's got to do with a lot of my own insecurities. I've lost a lot of weight and I'm still losing weight, so that's a big issue. He has also said that he doesn't really find me 'sexy' even though he loves me, enjoys sex, couldn't imagine marrying anyone else, etc. He basically says that he's pretty sure I'm the one that he wants to spend his life with and I don't have to worry about him leaving me for anyone else, but he doesn't think that he would be happy if he couldn't have se with other women. I am trying to believe him, and even though he's never cheated and never given me a reason not to trust him, I'm still scared he'll like someone else better than me.
I don't know how to tell him that I'm not okay with him having sex with anyone else without me. I don't want to make him feel trapped (which he says he does sometimes) and make him ultimately leave me. I don't want to be the crazy, jealous girlfriend. I just want to be enough for him. I don't know how to make him be okay with not having an open relationship. | Fiancé wants an open relationship despite me being okay with threesomes, I'm uncomfortable with the thought and don't know how to communicate it to him without sounding crazy, jealous, and possessive. |
t3_453ht2 | relationships | Me [20 F] dating [20 M] who I feel doesn't care? | So I [20 F] have been dating this guy [20 M] over 2 months now. In a nutshell, we met at party and he came up to talk to me and we immediately hit it off. Since the party we have gone out multiple times, since we share the same group of friends. We have gone out just the two of us like twice, but for the most part we always hangout with others. Whenever we go out we act super coupley we hold hands, kiss, he wraps his arms around me and what not & we have had sex a couple times. Here is my dilemma, we usually hangout during the weekend, but during the week we don't talk like at all. He never texts me, I'm usually the one to text him first. Whenever we make plans I'm usually the one to plan them out, he's probably initiated the planning like once, and thats because I didn't text him at all. He has told me he really likes me and that I am the only girl he is seeing and that he likes the way things are right now. I was on the same boat for a while, but now my feelings are growing stronger and I'm so confused. I don't like to believe in stereotypes, but if he really liked me wouldn't he at least try a little more to just shoot me a text and see how I'm doing? He has said he doesn't usually text people just when he wants something, and that people usually text him.Any advice would be helpful at this point, thanks! | dating guy who doesn't seem to care, i intiate, barely talk during the week |
t3_2ajoid | relationships | 18[M] Afraid to talk to 18[F], who just admitted she loves me | Me and this girl have, over the course of almost 3 years, sent 21,000+ messages to each other, long winding conversations, music we both love and poems we made. It first started before the end of Year 10, I met who I thought was the most beautiful girl at the time. Fast-forward a couple classes, class starts and she walks in to find that the closest available seat to her friends happened to be the one right next to mine. Previously we had to write a report on a role model and I decided to mine on Chris Martin (lead singer of Coldplay, i know what you're thinking but Parachutes was gold). She glances over my page and instantly recognises his name in the heading. I don't know if it was her recognizing my favorite music, the end of year feeling or the summer air but I instantly fell in love with her, that is, until my anxiety kicked in. My friends saw me conversing with her and were eager to surround me and ask, "Do you like ****?". I felt so discouraged and weak, I said "No way!" Being the shitty insecure guy I am, I added her on Facebook and never talked to her face to face again so that way no one would think I like her. For some reason it scares me to admit I like someone, its like I'm committing to them :/ I remember sending her vague love poems which were all just hinting my affection for her, it's only until now, the end of year 12 and 1 lame boyfriend later that she's reciprocating, that she finally understands what the poems meant. She told me she finally understands and essentially wants me through Facebook but I can't tell her I like her back without seeing her in real life and actually talking to her, but I'm too scared. What if I don't really love her? what if people laugh at me? what if I'm a shit boyfriend? I feel so weak and immature that I can't even make up my mind about this girl. She encourages me to do better and be a better person, she could be my life partner, help me get over my insecurities please. | Girl likes me, I like girl, but I can only talk to her online when no one is around because I'm scared and insecure. |
t3_1pzp3k | relationship_advice | [28m] I have trouble admitting to partners that I play video games. | This is a rather general question, but it's a hangup that comes up regularly in my relationships.
I don't like to admit to my partners that I play video games.
Growing up, I didn't have video games, save for the occasional "educational" or MAXIS game. My parents were pretty strict, and believed it when the media portrayed games and gamers as mindless, detached zombies. As I got older and got an afterschool job, I bought a GameBoy and hid it in my room.
Now I'm older, an adult, to be exact. I have a habit of hiding my gaming from partners, or downplaying it, unless that partner also happens to game. Currently, I'm starting to see someone new. She's really pretty great. Smart, funny, charming, etc. But the other night, we were talking about nights when we stay in and veg out. She said she'll draw or watch Netflix, then asked "what about you?" I faltered, and just sorta said "uhhhh reading and Netflix, y'know..." when in reality I'd probably be playing GTA.
I don't know why I should feel bad. I have a good job, plenty of friends, creative outlets. I read a lot. A lot. I'm very active, belong to a gym and ride my bike most places. I also enjoy a few hours of quality time with my video game console on the weekends. But I'm worried about being judged for playing games, or by the content of the games. Not to mention the fact that I'd eventually cohabitate with a partner and don't exactly feel like sneaking games like I'm 12 years old again.
Has anyone dealt with a similar feeling? I hate keeping secrets from someone, and I'm already seeing this pattern form in this new relationship. | I have trouble worrying that a partner will judge me for being a gamer. |
t3_2om9yx | relationships | Me [30 M] in love with a girl who is "to good for me" | I know a girl who i am completely crazy about. We were together a short while some time ago. Since then i had gotten over her, but now she popped back up in my life and i immediately got strong feelings again. The problem while we were together could probably be summed up by me having some sort of inferiority complex towards her.
It's like i can't imagine why she likes me. She is smarter and more knowledgeable than me. And whilst she is very sympathetic and warm hearted, i believe that those first qualities are something she is looking for in a partner as well.
And i kinda feel like she must think more of me than what is truly there. Almost as if i have her fooled, thinking i'm much more "clever" (for lack of a better term) than i actually am. When i'm with her i try to live up to what i believe to be her expectations. And it creates a lot of tension.
I know she isn't the kind of person to pick her friends based on something like this. But at the same time i can't help but think that i'm bound to disappoint her eventually.
I don't know how to handle this. It's not really something i can talk to her about. I don't have any particular question to the community, but i would love to hear some thoughts. | Girl i like is really smart. I believe she thinks i'm kinda smart to - but i'm actually not. Disappointment imminent. |
t3_4pzsik | relationship_advice | I [18M] broke up with my girlfriend [18F] a couple of weeks ago. I want to get back together, she wants to be friends w/ benefits for the summer. What do I do? | Like the title says I broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago. We had been dating for about a year and a half. I did it because as college students, long distance sucks. I thought I couldn't handle it anymore. Being apart for these weeks made me realize long distance is not as bad compared to not having her in my life at all. We talked recently, I told her what I did was a mistake and I was sorry. She said she still of course loves me a lot, but wants to take some time to figure out if she wants to get back together (which I understand). She then said that she still wants to hangout and have fun (FWB) and doesn't want to put a label on anything. Basically she wants to be in a relationship without actually being committed to the relationship. She keeps using the term "riding the wave out." That scares me because waves crash, and for this situation I feel it'll crash at the end of the summer when she leaves for school again. She leaves for school again in roughly 2 months. She says she still has feelings for me, which is why this is confusing for me. I'm scared that if we go down this road it will still feel like the relationship we had and then she'll leave for college if I can't convince her that we should be together and that's it for us. But I'm also scared that if I don't do what she wants, i'll lose her forever. I don't know if I should do what she wants, or try going No Contact for the summer, and pray at some point she comes around. I'm just super confused and looking for any outside perspectives. Thanks for any help. | Broke up with girlfriend of 1 and a half years because I thought I could no longer do long distance. Decided it was a mistake. Want to get back together, she wants to be in an unlabeled "relationship" similar to FWB until she decides what she wants to do. Summer ends in 2 months and she'll go back to school, unsure if I can do this with my emotional attachment. Says she doesn't know whether we'll get back together or not, just wants to "ride the wave out." I dont know what to do |
t3_3v2z3w | relationships | To text, or not to text! That is the question! [Me: 32, Her 25] | I guess I want to use this more as a vote than an analysis but here's the quick and dirty!
Met a girl about a month ago and she's fucking awesome and we immediately start getting along amazingly. Talk every day, always tons of fun, hanging out together is a blast, goes on like this for about 3-4 weeks. The Friday before Thanksgiving, around the 20th, something suddenly changes and she is hardly talking to me and I definitely notice this. I wait until Monday and ask her what's up, she says she's bummed about winter and is feeling 'blah' and it's a real struggle to talk to her at all, I even offer a shoulder to lean on but she's hardly responding so I said hey I understand you're going through some stuff so let me give you some space? She replies "thanks, I'm really crappy." to which I say that you're not crappy and to just hit me up if you ever want to talk again.
I guess maybe it was an empty gesture on my part, because I really wanted to know more, but I made the gesture anyway! Silly me! It's been over a week now and nothing.
Normally I'm willing to let this situation just go, this stuff happens when meeting new people. Thing is I really liked her, she checked off all the right boxes for me! And quite honestly, at my age it's becoming really hard to meet girls that actually align with what I find attractive in a woman.
It's really bizarre to me that we were having such an awesome time together and she suddenly disappeared. Red flag? Probably. But I'm dying to know what happened.
So what do you think, is it pathetic to shoot her a text? Maybe a how's it going? Or a line like so I guess I'm never hearing from you again? I kind of wanted to try something casual and joking but those didn't work so well right before I offered her some space!
You guys the best! | Met girl. Like lots. Great times together yay. Suddenly no talking, not yay. One last text: Yay or nay? |
t3_3t2a5l | relationships | My mother [46 F] is being very pessimistic and It is maddening me [18 M] to the point where our relationship is failing. | I live my mother in a two small suburban home. We don't have it
easy in the fiance department and that is all I have been hearing
about from her lately. The few minutes of time she has to talk to
me during the week are spent with her venting to me about how
we need to spend less and how everything is going tits up. I'm
trying not to go off on her but it is becoming increasingly difficult.
I really don't know what to do other than avoid her. That is what I did with my step mother before I moved out. My step mother was easy because I had the option to leave. But I don't feel I can leave my biological mother the same way.
What the hell do I do? | Mother Is Pessimistic about our current living situation (money, house, ect.) and is venting and that bothers me. |
t3_142zsy | relationships | [me- F22 bf- M26] Is it normal to go through periods of not wanting to talk to or spend time with a S.O.? | I [22f] have been in a relationship with my boyfriend [26m] for three years. I routinely go through periods where I feel mad at him for no apparent reason, feel like he is immature, and where I generally just don't want to spend time with him or talk to him at all. These periods last a couple days and occur maybe once a month. He'll ask to hang out and I just kind of go along with it but I'd rather sit at my home and watch a movie alone or something. I am really introverted and get exhausted after a day of talking to people all day at my job, so that could be the cause. Sometimes I will end up talking with him or visiting him but I just feel annoyed and wish I were alone or asleep.
I feel like in an "ideal" relationship the partners would always be up for spending time together, at least when they're not busy and it's feasible to do so. But sometimes at night I don't even want to respond to his texts and have a general feeling of contempt for him. I can't really decide why I would feel contempt, maybe it's the fact that I am far more motivated and less lazy than him, but that is another story.
Maybe someone can offer insight into this trivial dilemma of mine. | I go through period where I don't want to talk to or spend time with my bf. Is this abnormal or am I fine? What do you think? |
t3_1d4hkq | AskReddit | How did you react when someone close to told you in confidence that they were homosexual? | Somewhat recently, my brother and I were having a serious discussion, and he revealed to me that he was gay, and he was really quite scared of how I might react to that. Now, not that it was obvious, but I always had that suspicion that he was gay, but the fact had actually never bothered me, because, well, he's my bro in both the literal in figurative sense of the word. We're still thick as thieves and nothing's changed, and I'm proud of him for getting the courage to say it.
What surprised me a little was that about a week after that my own sister told me that she was a lesbian. I never suspected that so I gave off this kind of 'Are you sure?' reaction. Kind of a really bad move at the time because she looked very hurt, but I recovered and told her that I really, honestly had no problem with it. She seemed happy with that, and we've been on the same good terms we've always been since. | My bro is gay, my sis is les, and I'm cool with it. |
t3_2fxo44 | relationships | Me [26M] with my friend [26M] - Not sure what to do with my self-isolating friend | John and I have been friends since we were 18. We were both lazy stoner types who fancied ourselves better read and more mature than our peers. We'd hang out, smoke, listen to music and talk pseudo-philosophy and geopolitics. Halfway through college something clicked in me and I started to want to live a fuller life. I became more social, I worked hard to get into a good career field and I've lost interest in reading, philosophy and I smoke a lot less.
John graduated and held a job briefly but was unable to turn his degree into a career. He also got a DUI which limited his ability to travel. He lives nearby in our hometown with his parents and occasionally works fast food jobs for a few months before quitting.
Lately he has been asking me to hangout but he never suggests an activity. He just wants to lounge around, smoke and chat about the news. The problem is that I am in night school and working so I barely have any time. On the weekends I will invite him out but he does not want to hang out when any of my other friends will be present. The one or two times he has come to a group event he's deathly silent and lingers on the edge of the group despite everyone being open and welcoming.
He also has an attitude problem in my opinion. He rails against people with careers and people who go with the norm. I feel like he's cynical and bitter to cover his own shortcomings.
I am in a lurch. He is a very old friend but I am at the end of my rope with how he has basically stagnated in life. How can I continue this relationship? | I've changed and my friend has not. How can we still be friends? |
t3_2kxupb | relationships | I (26F) just found out my boyfriend of one year (or 3 yrs) (32M) has been cheating on me through reddit | We were in a relationship on and off from 2011 and have been in a relationship for a year now.
I knew something was going on in our relationship recently because every weekends he said he was busy with work and family or he is sick because of allergy.
I met him only twice a month for the past two months. Even so, i was so blind and did not even think that he was cheating on me.
And this past weekend, he was totally out of touch for three days (Sat to Mon), so I thought he was breaking up with me.
Then again, on Tuesday, he contacted me saying that he lost his phone for the last three days and went in all details about how he found his phone. But he never answered to my question as to how/when he lost it and why he didn't contact me through different methods.
Next day, I was googling his reddit id and found his post on reddit. He posted pictures with him and a woman looking like a couple. The woman looked older than me (probably 29 or 30) and did not look particularly pretty.
I was so shocked but did not send any message to him yet because my guy friend advised me that going all emotional and ballistic will only make him feel good about himself and feed his ego. I didn't send any message to him since Wed and he hasn't sent any messages to me either.
Question here:
1. Do you think I should talk to him about this? (From my experience with him he always avoids me and ignore me whenever this kind of thing happens.)
2. Has he broken up with me? If so, why did he contact me again saying his phone was lost when he could have just ignored me all allong?
3. What is the best course of action that I should take? I feel so betrayed and don't want to do anything..I can't sleep at night and keep crying out of blue.
I will appreciate any inputs but especially want to hear from guys' perspectives. Thanks. | i just found out through reddit that my boyfriend has cheated on me and I do not know what to do. I need advice. |
t3_2nz56h | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [24M] >1yr, can I learn to trust him? | So, me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year and a half and I don't trust him. There's no real basis for this, other than I know his past and that I'm the longest relationship he's been in due to his inability to remain faithful. He's told me he's changed, and that he's never cheated on me and I believe him, but I almost feel like it's just a matter of time. I'm well aware that it's a problem with me, not with him so I'm wondering if anyone has any advice for how I can get over my trust issues? | don't trust my boyfriend, problem is with me not him, need advice to get over my trust issues. |
t3_2k2jqz | dating_advice | I'm a guy trying to ask out a girl I have not talked to. Need advice please. | Basic story is, there is a girl in my ethics class that I wanna ask out. We have never talked because we sit far apart and I have pretty much interacted with people sitting around me. I wanna just follow her out of the classroom after class is over and I don't know what to do.
I want to ask her out for something like coffee or whatever, but I don't know how I should do it. Do I just go up to her and ask "Hey wanna grab a coffee sometime?"
Do I have to initiate a conversation before asking her out or is it ok to ask her out and just get to know her over coffee or whatever?
And if I should start a conversation what do I talk about?
My previous experience with girls has been asking out girls I've known for a bit like a few from work, I would talk to them more and more and after a while it didn't feel as awkward.
Not really looking for a pick up line just some guidance on what to do, just straight up ask for coffee or try to chat...
BTW, I'm 23 and all I know is that she is under 21 because the teacher asked who was over 21 for some reason a few classes back and she didn't raise her hand...
Thanks in advance for any tips! | Want to ask a girl out that I haven't talked to, how should I go about doing this? |
t3_2clg5e | relationships | I'm [27M] losing attraction to my girlfriend [26F] of 6 years because of her weight loss. | I love my girlfriend and I'd hate to see this relationship end over something like this. But she's lost a lot of weight recently and I find it difficult to stay interested in her "new body". She went from being a size 10/12 to a size 2/4 and I'm just not personally attracted to skinny girls. Her collarbones and hip bones are starting to stick out in a way that makes me think of sick children. She looks more like a teenager than a woman to me.
I know a lot of women are crazy about looking skinny and that it's a big deal in our society and that it's the coveted look. It's been over the last year that it's been happening. I could deal with her gaining 5-10lbs back on I think.
I don't know what to do. Do I tell her that I want her to gain weight? | girlfriend got too skinny |
t3_3ywoir | offmychest | What is the meaning of friendship to you? | So I'm 23, I have aspergers syndrome, I'm a woman and I can't keep friends.
I can make friends no problem, I have no issues getting boyfriends, but keeping these relationships going is exhausting and often ends up with them drifting away from me and...I don't know where I'm going wrong.
I think I've lost basically all of my friends at university. I can't wait to graduate. My friends dislike me and compliment each other all the time and do things that I know friends should do. They go for coffee without me. Being left out hurts, but what hurts more is knowing that this pattern has repeated itself throughout my life and will forever repeat itself.
I am happy doing what I do, and keeping inward, I would just like people to tell me what their meaning of friendship is, to see if I get it right. I am scared of calling people friends due to the fact that when I was younger I called everyone my friend and was shot down and corrected that I was an 'acquaintance'. | what would you say a friend is? |
t3_43jcsd | relationships | Boyfriend [24M] broke up with me [22F] as he wants to travel for four months - what do I do? | I'm hoping for any words of encouragement or wisdom at this rubbish time!
Background: my BF and I have been together for a year (on and off seeing each other for two years before that and friends for 5 years).
A month ago he told me that he wanted to go backpacking with a friend for around four months. It was hard to hear, but I understood that after two years post-uni he felt like he needed to do something outside of his comfort zone.
Back in December we spoke and he said he wanted to stay with me during travelling. However insecurities etc. Have meant the last month has been difficult alongside the fact I've had my exams, he's been working 100+ hour weeks to pay for his travels.
On Monday he said he wanted to talk. I put on a brave face and said that I thought breaking up would be the best solution for both of us, but now I worry I was wrong. He made it clear that he hopes that when he comes back from travelling we can reunite and just be friends in the meanwhile, but I don't see how that will work.
I want to be with him and I love him deeply. I don't see as us breaking up will help our relationship.
Everyone has different views on LDRs but I struggle to see how I will heal during this time of "limbo" that he is suggesting. | boyfriend and I broke up. Says he wants to get back together after four months travelling. What do I do? |
t3_191ztd | self | I did it...I finally fucking finished it | Little background: Had to go through chemo summer of freshman year/first half of sophomore year (I'm in high school) Missed a lot of school, counselor decided it was best course to take BYU Independent Study courses to make up missed credits. Got better and signed on for Health and first half of Tenth Grade English. Health was beyond easy, finished within a month and aced the final. Then the English. Holy mother of god the English.
I am such a dumbfuck for continually putting it off. I started this in 2011...I just finished. On the skin of my teeth to boot (it was due my midnight tonight) I had to leave shit out from the portfolios. The instructer is going to think I either transcend laziness, or I belong on the short bus. But I don't care. I finished. As long as I do well on the final I will pass. Bullshitted my way through a speech and wrote what is probably the most pretentious poetry ever produced. But I don't care. It is done. I don't know why I do this with assignments, and this is the most extreme. But it is done. I had to literally beat the shift hours of BYU's customer service to make sure I could request the final in time. Had to pick a Procter on the spot while on the line with a very nice lady who helped me greatly. Picked my academic vice principal (also teaches my Speech and Debate/Mock Trial class) Never mentioned this to him before, I'm sure that will be a nice surprise with him. Anyway this doesn't remotely carry the same weight as a lot of the posts I see on here. But I wanted to share this with someone RIGHT NOW [This has been playing as I type] and I feel like Christ almighty. | I am stupid and put something off for about a year and a half. Finally finished it. |
t3_nbirb | AskReddit | Can a store sell postage stamps for more than face value? Is it legal? | U.S Resident here: I recently went out to buy 100 postage stamps (Christmas cards) and noticed that the math didn't add up. Stamps are 44 cents each yet the store owner was charging me 49 cents per stamp, or $1.00 per sheet of 20. I decided to return the purchase since I didn't want to pay a $10 premium on stamps I could get anywhere else.
Guy flipped out and started calling me cheap and petty.
I mean, if I was buying any other good I don't think I would mind. But I feel like you can't make a profit with these things.
Anyone know if it's legal? | Yes they can. |
t3_4hmdll | relationships | My Girlfriend [17F] of 1year and 4 months broke up with me [18M] around a week ago and she is already with a new guy. | We were dating for a long time, there were some problems with our relationship but we got through them together. I love her so much even now... I don't want to but I can't not. The other day we were both invited to a party and she was with a mutual freind. Not 6 days after it happened, I am devistated and I don't know how to cope... I can't sleep. Whats the best way of dealing with a bad breakup.
Additionally... the nights are always when its the hardest... whats the best way to fall asleep in this kind of situation? | GF broke up with me, not over her. |
t3_2h5sv8 | running | Non-Pro Tip: Rule the World with the Brain | This morning, I learned an all-valuable lesson without ever realizing I was exercising. I have lots to learn and I am a novice runner.
When I woke up, I could hear the rain outside my window. Dreary eyed and sleepy I pondered some sleeping in and running during my lunch hour instead. Once I peeled myself out of bed, I went outside and it was raining as I suspected. It was dark and wet. Once again, I considered going back to bed and sleeping comfortably for another hour. Contrary to my self-talk, I stepped away into the dark and ran. I wasn't even on Mile 1 and my shins were hurting, the ground was wet and I could hear myself contemplating going back to home. There were all flavors of excuses and rationales going through my mind. After all the whining, complaining, and some determined steps I went back in through my front door after 4 miles in decent time.
This is my point, I am getting myself ready for a half marathon in December. Along with logging in miles throughout the week, I am doing strength and stretching exercises. I'm doing what I think its gonna require to run 13.1 miles. But one of the areas which I need to improve and exercise is the mind. I think early morning runs are a good mind strengthening work-out. Just as leg and core muscles need to be flexed; grey matter strength can go a long way. | quit complaining, Run, exercise your brain too |
t3_4498s5 | relationships | QUICK QUESTION - Should I [19F] tell my housemate [23F] her that her boyfriend [24M] is verbally abusive? | I moved into a new house about a month ago. It's pretty harmonious. I like all my housemates (except the boyfriend, but not in a strong sense. I just hate the way he treats her) Ever since then, the only interactions I witness between 2 of my housemates (they both live here) are aggressive and honestly make me uncomfortable to be around. I could go into detail, but because she's a redditor I'll be keeping it vague. Basically he will perceive the things she says as an excuse to accuse her of something, or get angry and defensive.
The details don't matter because this is not a post asking if he is or isn't verbally abusive. He's obviously gaslighting her, and she simply apologizes. I can tell she truly believes him when he turns the blame to her. She's pretty softspoken.
**I only want to know if it's my place to say something.** I'm leaning towards no, but the side of me that believes in happy relationships keeps roaring at me to do something - anything. Watching the abuse and doing nothing is eating at me. **I also don't trust my judgement when it comes to things like this. I have a tendency to be passive and maybe I'm wrong this time. | Why shouldn't I tell my housemate that her boyfriend (another housemate) is abusive? |
t3_2ragae | pettyrevenge | My grandpa's teacher was full of shit, so... | It was a lovely saturday morning in May when my grandpa had to go to school. Sun was shining, birds were singing, all the good stuff.
Being 13 at the time, my grandpa had to help on the farm in the afternoon, and he'd probably get a beating if he wasn't there. So, he sat down, and paid some attention.
The teacher, however, would have none of that. As was usual back then, it was a priest who taught the kids, and this priest really didn't like my grandpa (the feelings were mutual, don't you worry). So, he found a bullshit reason to get my grandpa to stay the afternoon.
Detention started, and five minutes later, the priest went home, trusting the boys to remain in the classroom. Of course, boys will be boys, and they all got out through an open window.
A few days later, my grandpa had to deliver some fertilizer (basically bullshit) to this priest with his parents' horse and cart. Now, there are three things you need to know about this priest's house: His driveway is paved with fine gravel, there's a large garden, which was obscured by the house so you couldn't see it from the street, behind the house and his driveway is rather narrow. Nothing you couldn't get a horse and a cart through, but my grandpa remembered that this was the dude who took his saturday afternoon from him.
So, he dumped the fertilizer (which made a nice pile, he said) on the fine gravel, directly behind the car.
My grandpa got away with it by saying that the priest's driveway was too narrow, and that he didn't know he'd be able to turn behind it. | grandpa's teacher makes him stay in detention, grandpa dumps a heap of shit on his driveway |
t3_upwav | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, should I do something or am I tripping? | So I finished my last class at community college last Wednesday, May 30. My Professor specifically told the class to email him and that he will email us our grades that weekend. My professor is extremely nice and has been helpful all semester. So my concern is when he didnt respond to my email this past weekend. So I sent him a follow-up email just asking when he will have the grades posted on Sunday. Still no email. So I ended up calling the school but most of the people working there are jaded so they kind of brushed me off and just said I can view my grades on June 22 online.
I kind of remember him saying something about going on vacation so at first I thought he might have just skipped my email by accident and was on vacation. But then I believe he would have at least put the grades into the system before he left (I checked the course catalog for Spring and he only had our 1 class). And now all my grades have already been posted online for me to view except that one class. | helpful teacher all semester long hasn't posted grades yet or responded to my emails |
t3_2n1tba | relationships | I [15F] don't know how to balance my boyfriend [16M] with my friends | It isn't so much balancing time as it is when I am with both my boyfriend and my friends. Having been a third wheel my fair share of times, I know how uncomfortable and annoying it is to be in a group while you have a couple cuddling and making out and being annoyingly and decidedly couple-y during a hang out with friends. At the same time, though, I know what it feels like to be completely rejected of any signs of affection from your partner while in public.
I realize that each couple has different rules as to PDA (public displays of affection), and I'm okay with a quick peck here and there, hugs and hand holding, but (especially when it's a social gathering or when I'm talking with friends), I'm hesitant to cuddle with my boyfriend, sit on his lap, kiss too often, or say anything couple-y or too cheesy.
I also am very hard to pin down to one spot. I like to bounce around a lot and talk to everyone about everything. But this mixed with my fear of making others feel uncomfortable or ignored because I'm in a relationship makes me wonder if I'm shutting my boyfriend out too much. How do you make your partner feel happy and wanted while not making your friends feel uncomfortable? If I really cared about the relationship, should I just not care what others think? | Having trouble finding the sweet spot between too much PDA and ignoring my boyfriend when I'm with friends. |
t3_3kavz8 | askwomenadvice | Do I have a chance with a HS Senior TAing my theater class when I'm a Junior? | I am a 17 year old guy and I've never had a girlfriend or asked anybody out. There is a really cool senior girl who is the TA in my theater class and I would really like to ask her out, but I'm afraid she'll turn me down for being too young or having a bit of a babyface :/. We have similar taste in music and she seems pretty chill, but is it even worth risking the embarrassment? How bad, exactly, are my odds? Any tips if I do decide to go for it? Thanks! | I want to ask a slightly older girl on a date, do I have a shot? Any advice? |
t3_1tf9q5 | relationships | Looking for perspective on unexpected silence [both 22 M/F] | *Context*: Met a friend/crush at the beginning of this semester at uni who broke up with her 8 mo SO roughly 2 months ago. During this time, our relationship teetered slightly on the flirtatious/shallower side at the parties we went to, never developing as an emotional crutch or anything intimate - largely because I've made that mistake before and because our friend groups weren't mutual.
*Situation*: Last week her friends threw a graduation party and the whole time her and her usual guy friend were unusually distant to me. Since both are typically highly extroverted and extremely verbose people, I was a bit put-off. But at the time I didn't think much of it since a) they tend to get high occasionally b) when I did talk to her later at the party, she offered to come out next week for drinks, which seemed moderately genuine.
Later, I realized I couldn't make it, so I sent a text asking about her holiday plans/etc. Except I've yet to receive a response, and it's been 5 days. This is extremely uncommon for her and of course I put two and two together, and I'm legitimately confused about what this means.
So should I openly confront her about this? Should I just move on since she's graduating? And how do I follow up after not getting a response in the first place?
Thanks and sorry if this sounds like 15 year old melodrama...I still a long way to go in relationships. | Crush suddenly putting on cold shoulder, confront? Just move on? |
t3_2cgn3i | offmychest | How is your irresponsibility my fault? | Context: I live with a married couple in a house on the outskirts of a town where there is lots of wildlife. We have three cats, and one of them is mine. I've been trying to move into a nearby city for several months with very little luck, and this week I've been losing sleep because I'm very close to having a place, but I won't know for several more days if I'm in or not. In spite of the obvious stress it's causing me (insomnia, stomach problems, etc), one of my roommates keep asking me for details about the place, even though I've told her multiple times I'll fill her in once I have all the details.
Yesterday my roommates opened the windows (which have no screens) in our house, and because no one was paying attention, my cat got out. I caught her rather quickly, and closed/locked the window she'd gotten out of.
Today, she got out again, because one of the windows hadn't been closed all the way. No one noticed she was out until I heard her jump the fence from the back yard to the front yard. Again, I spent the next several minutes hunting her down on my own. I would let my cat out regularly, but there are coyotes, foxes, and several birds of prey that would eat her in an instant.
As soon as I had her back inside, the roommate responsible for not shutting the window completely started making jokes about my cat is an escape artist, and wondered out loud how I'm going to keep her under control once I move into the city.
I very nearly came uncorked, but I'm trying to let this go until at least tomorrow; they're celebrating an anniversary and I'm not going to ruin their evening. | My roommates' irresponsibility has lead to the endangerment of my cat twice in the last two days, adding to an already extremely stressful weekend. |
t3_14ewyl | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the weirdest/strangest event you've seen at a house party? | I'll kick off with mine.
Recently I was at a house party and all was going great for my friend who was hosting it. Nothing was being broken, no gate crashers, no drunken fights etc. Then (as you'd expect) people started drinking more and more. Some girl (who I didn't know fortunately) ended up getting so drunk that she went into the little room under my friends stairs. She then proceeded to piss in there where it happened to land on his carpet and his little brothers school bag. I don't know if she was so drunk she mistook it for the toilet or whether she thought it would be funny but she was kicked out immediately to everyone's liking. The worst thing was his parents were out and didn't know he was having the party. So when they did come back he had to explain why the school bag was on the washing line and why the stairs smelt of piss. | Girl got so drunk she pissed under my friends stairs all on the carpet and on his little brothers school bag |
t3_4d7573 | relationships | I [18 F] have a hard time accepting affection from my boyfriend [21] | I recently started dating my bf right around a month ago, and during that time I've realized that I don't really know how to handle affection from him. Holding hands, cuddling, and things of that nature are fine.
The problem is, I can't do something as simple as hold eye-contact with him. As dumb as it sounds, he's really expressive with his eyes and when he tries to hold eye contact with me I see nothing but warmth and affection and I just internally freak out while looking away.
Also, compliments confuse me as well. I can dole them out like there's no tomorrow, but as soon as he compliments me I feel like I'll explode with embarrassment.
It's not that I don't like him, I really do, but I don't know how to handle these situations and I don't want this to become a problem. This is also my first relationship, so I'm thinking that's what part of the problem is.
Any help/advice is appreciated! | I feel insanely embarrassed when my boyfriend is sweet to me and I don't know how to change that. |
t3_eom9r | relationship_advice | Should I bring it up or not? | So I started hooking up (no sex, but everything but) with a girl, lets call her Tracy, a few months ago. I was very forward saying that I didn't want anything serious at the time. A few weeks later I started hooking up with another girl, lets call her Molly. So for about a month I would hook up with both of them pretty regularly. So one night Tracy said she wouldn't fool around that night unless I stopped hooking up with Molly. Of course I was pretty drunk at the time and said sure. Even that night I could tell she didn't believe that I was going to keep my promise. Of course the following week I again hooked up with Molly.
Natural Tracy stopped hooking up with me since then. The thing that I'm concerned about more is that she has pretty much taken to ignoring me even though we used to talk and have fun all of the time. Unfortunately this all happened about 6 weeks ago, and being the dumbass that I am, I just now realized that this incident is probably the reason for our strained communication. I want to talk to Tracy about it, but I don't think she'll be honest about it. Should I bring it up or just let it go? | I told a girl I'd be with her when I was drunk and broke my promise and she now dislikes me. This was 6 weeks ago and I want to talk to her. |
t3_2unkti | relationships | Current girlfriend[24f] found out about the gifts I[24m] made for my past girlfriends, now she is flipping out. | Over the last 4 years I really got into art. I don't make any money off my work, but I like to do it after a long day of work as a way to relax before I go to bed.
I have drawn family members, friends, and my last two girlfriends. With my girlfriends, for an important relationship event, I would make a sketch for them. For example, after my last girlfriend's father died I drew a picture of her and him when she was little. The other sketch I made was a large portrait for my first girlfriend for our first anniversary.
The thing is, for the big sketches I did for my ex-girlfriends I spent like 40+ hours on it each. And the worst part of it all is that they are no longer in my life anymore. When I initially made the sketches for them, I truly thought the relationships would end in marriage. Now, I feel stupid and used after making the sketches for them. Especially considering how the relationships ended.
Cue current problem. I am now dating a girl and she loves my artistic side, which is great. She wanted me to draw her so she took some pictures with her friends and I ended up making a relatively quick sketch for her. She loved it… then she found out about the sketches I made for my ex-girlfriends…
Since then my relationship pretty much flipped on its head where she starts asking about my ex-girlfriends, as in what made them so special and if I really did love them. I did my best to explain to her exactly what I told you guys here, but she isn't seeing my side.
The way I see it is that I am not going to go out of my way to make extravagant gifts for a girl unless, a). She is my wife, b) she does the same for me. If my girlfriend gives me a $50 Best Buy gift card, I don't really feel compelled to spend weeks on making a sketch for her.
I don't know what else to really say here. I am in no rush to get married, and I don't want our gifts to be trades either. So where exactly do I go from here? | Made my last two girlfriends really nice gifts, current girlfriend found out about it and is now insanely jealous, and our relationship is coming towards a breaking point. |
t3_1iq4jj | relationships | I'm an [18m] who is batshit crazy about my sort of ex [17f] in a bad way. Very cringeworthy, but i can't stop | Me and my SO dated for about two years before and we seemed to have a great relationship. She was amazing and put in 100% effort because she was ditsy and in love with me. I, however, was sort of an asshole sometimes and put in maybe 60% of the effort. Things ended in early April this year because I was a stupid guy and just acted on impulses.
Fast forward to these past couple weeks, we began talking again after multiple months of no contact what-so-ever (keep in mind, i was miserable during this time because i realized i fucked up) and we kind of ended up getting back together. Her intent was that we take things extremely slow and see how things turn out in the fall. Things were going well until some drama broke out here in my homelife and its been fucking with my head, and i kind of take it out on her.
She doesn't want her friends to know that we're sort of together yet because she doesn't really know how things are going to work out and i respected that until the drama at home happened and suddenly it just doesn't make sense. I feel as if she is embarrassed or ashamed of me and i keep constantly asking what i can do to make her happy and ditsy like the old her. I feel like now im putting in 150% and she is putting in 70% and i've been going crazy. She just left my house after a long talk and it came down to im being crazy and i need to relax and she is no longer in love with me, she just loves me but is willing to work until i can sweep her off her feet. | I dated a girl, i ended things because i could, sort of back together, i'm bat shit crazy about her in a bad way. Very cringeworthy |
t3_1bwxka | relationships | I [M18] promised my girlfriend [F19] not to look at porn. | I love my girlfriend a lot. We've been dating for over 5 months. We are perfect for each other. She means the world to me, and we are pretty serious.
But there was this one time before we were going to sleep and we were talking that she asked me--kiddingly--when the last time I had masturbated was. And I didn't want to lie to her, so I told her it had been that weekend, and the fact that it had been the first time in a month. And when I told her this, I could tell she was hurt, and I felt terrible. And for me, there is no sensation that hurts worse than knowing I hurt her feelings. I tried to tell her how she was the only girl I'd ever want to do stuff with, but she still seemed so hurt.
So the next day I promised her that I would never masturbate to porn again, and she responded by saying I could do whatever I want. I realize now that I may have made a mistake because we aren't always able to do sexy things (college) and we will live several hours away from each other for 3 months this summer (also because of college). I've been good so far, I haven't masturbated to porn and it's been over 2 months since. And it's not like I was a porn addict or something, I looked at it once a blue moon. What should I do? I don't want to break my promise, but most importantly I don't want to hurt her feelings. | I made a promise that I wouldn't masturbate to porn that's hard to keep, but I really don't want to hurt her feelings. |
t3_1gvotk | relationships | I [28F] found a new box of condoms at my 2 yr boyfriend's [31M] bedside table drawer. We don't use condoms. | I [28F] spent the night at my boyfriend's [31M] of 2 years house last night. This morning we hooked up and he opened bedside table drawer to get the lube.
As long as I've known him the drawer had a cooler bag with a few condoms in it. The number of condoms have not changed over the past 2 years.
This morning there were about 20+ (a box worth?) of new condoms in the cooler bag.
I politely asked him about this 10 minutes later, why he had all these new condoms in his drawer.
He responded: He recently bought them to check and see if his Best Buy Credit Card would work in other stores.
I then asked him if he was planning on using the condoms.
He said no of course not.
I told him it was weird and he said he was just trying to buy something cheap to see if the card worked.
I see a lot of things wrong in this response. But I left quietly trying to decide if I should believe him or not.
Am I over-thinking this or does his response not make any sense? Also I don't think you can use a best buy card outside the store.
He is usually so trustworthy this is out of the ordinary for me to question something he says. I want to bring it up to him again and tell him I want to believe him but his response just does not make any sense. | Found a new box of condoms in the bedside drawer of boyfriend, he gave a confusing reason for having them. |
t3_w8x1l | relationships | The girl I've been with for about a year and a half has had a huge personality change. What do I do? | Basically whats happening is that after a year and a half of us knowing each other, being together, sharing secrets and what I thought was genuine happiness this girl just supposedly stopped.
A few days ago I started seeing her less and less of her. And about two days ago she told me that she just flat out doesn't like me anymore. I don't know what to do because I still have feelings for her. She told me today that she goes after guys who give her attention and make her feel good. I asked her if that's why she stayed with me the whole time or if she actually liked me. She said she didn't give a shit whether or not she really liked me.
This is really freaking me out because everything up until about last Tuesday has been perfectly fine. She has had this huge change in attitude and every time I try to talk to her she shuts me down and goes to do something else.
What do I do reddit? Should I go on the offensive and figure it out or what. I really have no idea what I should do here. | Girl I knew over a year has had a huge change in who she is and says she doesn't care whether or not she liked me for real. |
t3_17htpc | relationship_advice | I screwed up Reddit, help please! | I am a long time lurker, finally asking for some advice. Ill keep this as short as possible. I have been with my SO for 3 years. We are happy, and in love, and get along great for the most part. We have had our bumps in the road like all relationships. About a year ago, we got into some info about our past sexual experiences, and this didn't go down very well. There were some feelings hurt (his) and in the end, I ended up lying to him about one of them. I lied because I didn't want to deal with the fallout. I felt that none of it really mattered because it was my past and not an issue in the here and now. However, in the time since the lie started, I was asked repeatedly about it, and every time I lied, I swore on some serious stuff. (our relationship, our kids, etc) I feel awful for what Ive done.
So last weekend I came clean about it. I told him the truth and that I had been lying. He is obviously hurt, broken hearted, and very angry. I dont expect any less. Also, his manhood was a bit bruised by the info. So because I swore on all of the most important things for so long, he feels he has no way of knowing if I am telling the truth now, because I have no way to prove it to him.
I dont know what to do. I am being open and honest with him now, but he isn't sure that I will be able to regain his trust. Any advice would be appreciated. | I lied for a year about a past sexual experience and swore on our relationship. I came clean but need advice on repairing the trust. |
t3_12l0tm | AskReddit | Why would people vote for Mitt Romney? | I am fairly new to the United States of America and have been following the presidential campaigns only over the past few months. From what I can see, Romney seems like a irrational, indecisive, male chauvinistic person.
I completely understand that Obama has had a number of shortcomings during his tenure and there is so much more to be done. But then Romney hasn't come up with any fool-proof plans either. His five-point plan (which seems to be his go-to move) is vague at the very best.
To me both of them seem equal apart from a big difference being **Romney doesn't seem like a nice guy at all.** But yet the polls show that a good chunk of the country's population is backing him.
When he has nothing awesome up his sleeve why would you want someone like him to be your President? My question here is to find out if I am missing something fundamental in the way the presidential elections work or if I am missing something substantial abut Mitt Romney. | Mitt Romney seems like a nutcase; Why would anyone vote for him? |
t3_mhel3 | AskReddit | Anyone know of free Ruby on Rails hosting for registered charities? | I'm doing some volunteer web development for a Florida veteran's
charity and they need a professional hosting service for a month long
event in February, 2012.
Basically they need a free host for a website that will act as a data
entry point and report generator for admins. They would also like to
continue using the host after the event so they can get feedback and
have new events.
Their needs are very minimal; just RoR and some database storage
(shouldn't be very much). They also won't have much traffic only a few
hundred hits a day at the most.
I've contacted Heroku and am waiting to hear back if it's OK to use
the free hosting there but wanted to see if anyone knows of, or has
experience with, a commercial RoR host that provides minimal hosting
to registered charities.
Thanks in advance. | Charity needs free Ruby on Rails hosting, can I has? |
t3_434vbj | relationships | Me [23/m] with my gf [23/F]. I don't know how to help her with her depression anymore. | My girlfriend, Kayla, and I have been together for a year and a half. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me and has really helped me look at the world in a happier view.
She told me she had depression for her whole life and not to take things personally if she seemed a little more quieter or mad on certain days. She had already been taking pills but it would still come and go. Thankfully her great days would normally outweigh the bad.
Lately though, something has changed about her. When she had her depressed days, she would be sad and quiet but she would talk to me about her problems. Now, her eyes just seem empty. She looks like she's been possessed. She'll stare at the walls or tv for hours without saying anything and according to her coworkers/friends, she hasn't been communicating with them and has been going to the coffee shop/cafeteria to do work which isn't really like her.
The only thing I can think of is that she has taken on a freelance writing job and got accepted into a 6 week journalism program so she has had to write 5 articles a week with all original ideas with her day job too. She's very motivated to achieve her dream job of becoming a film critic/journalist and will do anything to get one step closer to it. But it's never affected her like this before. I keep asking her if there's anything I can do or if she wants to talk about it, but she said that she's just distracted and she's fine but I can tell she's not. A couple nights ago, I saw the word "failure" written on the palm of her hand while she was sleeping. It almost made me tear up that she thinks so low of herself.
Even though she says that she's fine, I feel horrible seeing her look so empty and emotionless. Is there truly nothing I can do and let her fight it? | My girlfriend is severely fighting depression and I don't know how to help her. |
t3_10wa2g | relationship_advice | [22/M] Looking for advice | Me and my girlfriend have been happily in a relationship for almost 2 years now perfectly fine and happy with eachother. For at least a year and a half weve got into minimal arguments but we've always talked about it an solved it. We both love eachother but the past couple months have been wierd, we both would be fine for a couple weeks then all every 2 weeks or so wed get into an argument and end up threatening for breakup. I dont understand as this is all so sudden. We talk about it a lot and i really think we both want to figure out what the problem is but we cant figure out whats causing them. Is this normal? | Girlfriend and I get into arguments that cause breakups |
t3_2a0kr8 | tifu | TIFU by not understanding Snapchat stories | So, this is actually my roommate's fuck-up, but it's too good not to share. At our 4th of July party, it's pretty late and we're all pretty drunk. We've been on a kick of enjoying the [Fuck Her Right In The Pussy guy] recently, and Roommate 1 wanted to make a Snapchat story of Roommate 2 interrupting various "news stories" with the now-famous quote. We spend the next 20-30 minutes recording R2 interrupting people and make a solid Snapchat story, and then continue with our night.
Next morning, we wake up and remember doing this and start laughing about it, and we all go to Snapchat to relive the moment. None of us can find the story, so we ask R1 if he posted it. He responds with yes, but he set it so his 9-year-old cousin wouldn't be able to see it. We then ask him if he's sure he set it so the cousin wouldn't see it, or if he accidentally set it so she was the only one who would see it.
After 5 minutes and a deep dive into Snapchat's settings, he sadly confirms that he made a story of R2 saying "FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY" multiple times and set it so only his 9-year-old cousin could see it.
It's been almost 24 hours and no one from R1's family has called him out on it or anything, so we're hoping he's out of the water...but we've been laughing about it all day and he won't be living it down for a while. | made a Snapchat story of roommate yelling "FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY" and sent it to 9-year-old cousin only. |
t3_1wg0tw | Advice | Issues with school and where I live. What should I do? | Okay, I will try to keep it as short as possible.
My issues with school are that I am not motivated to attend class. It isn't exactly what I was thinking it would be. I am interested in the subject, but it hasn't lit a fire under me or anything. I don't look forward to attending lectures, completing assignments on time if even at all, etc.
I am one and a half years into a four year program.
My second issue is that I don't like where I live anymore. I grew up in this city and I've just found that as time passes I find myself wanting to leave more and more. I have no friends (literally) in this city and nearly my whole family is estranged from me. The only person that holds me to this place is my boyfriend.
I've had starry eyes for another place entirely. I still want to go to school, but I feel in confident at this time because of my lack of motivation and sort of "lost" feeling. I also don't have a great job so money is always an issue.
So I'm basically seeking advice on what I should do. I haven't invested a lot of time and money (as far as university goes) into school so in my mind I can justify changing programs. As I mentioned money isn't the greatest so I am scared to move away and lastly, I haven't the slightest idea on how to plan for something like this. I don't know where I should look, if I should try to lock down a job, etc.
For terms of scale on the move that I would like to make:
I live in Ontario in Canada. I would like to move to either Alberta or British Columbia. It's like basically going across all of Canada.
Anyways, literally ANY advice will help me. Thank you very much. | I am not motivated in my program and I want to leave my city. I need advice on what I should do about these issues. |
t3_o9maf | AskReddit | My girlfriend wants me to write her a story. | My girlfriend enjoys reading and writing (she's very creative) and has been asking for me to write her a story. She's written me a story, without me asking for one, about a knight who goes fight a witch and dragon, who was named after my exgf that tried to break us up.
I'm not sure how to make one that will please her. I'm not the most creative person either. I'm just looking for ideas.
I was thinking of writing about her dreams of being on Broadway, set in the future, like we had broken up and I've come visit her. I'm not sure where to go from there. | I need to write a story for my girlfriend. I need ideas. |
t3_3mzo7v | jobs | Choosing between two jobs - 80k/year salary vs. $65/hr agency contract | Hey guys, little dilemma.
I'm a CS graduated web developer with 4 years of solid experience currently working with AngularJS on an .NET MVC stack. I just stuck out some job hunting feelers and got an offer with a company paying $80,000/year, before taxes. They also offer 2 weeks vacation, 5% RRSP matching, decent health benefits and snacks. I'll also be working with a friend of mine, which is cool. Only downside is the job involves retrofitting PHP code made in Shanghai, which is a completely different language stack in more ways than one. This was a huge raise for me, so I accepted the position. I'm supposed to start in a couple of weeks.
Meanwhile, I've been in contact with a recruiter who has been looking for someone to do a one year contract for a multinational production company doing customer facing AngularJS applications on a .NET MVC stack. I believe it's an in-office position, equipment provided, with a possibility of extension. Basically contract-to-hire. I put down a $65/hour offer ($130,000/year on a 2000 hour year) and I guess they liked me. This job has no vacation and no benefits, although I can get benefits from the recruiter, but it's way, way more money and I'd be working with the same technologies that I'm using now.
For reference, I'm currently only making about $52k/year before taxes, so either position is a significant life bump. This is in Canada, so all numbers are in Canadian dollars.
I'm not really sure what to do. I'm 26, single, healthy and in a bit of debt, so I think I can use cash over benefits anyway.
I've never done contract work before, so I'm not sure what to expect. What should I ask to find out if this other position is worth it? What do you think? | What's better $80,000/year salary position or a $130,000/year contract position. |
t3_2wq616 | relationship_advice | My (21F) racist parents (57f/59m) are meeting my boyfriend (21m) for the first time tomorrow... Any advice to make this not horrible? | Ok so my parents are both pretty racist my dad more so then mom. We are Armenian from Iran and my new boyfriend is Persian... From Iran. We are practically the same thing but my dad when growing up had many fights with Persians because of how they treated his sister and now just hates them all. He went over 2 days not speaking to me when I came home for the weekend from college because he was mad I was dating a Persian guy.
I finally was able to convince them to meet my boyfriend and now he is coming over for lunch tomorrow... I know my mom will TRY and be on her best behavior but my dad is just looking for any excuse to not like him. Telling me all Persians do is beat their wives and catcall women. This isn't true and my boyfriend treats me better then anyone else I've ever dated (though my parents haven't liked anyone I've dated not even of our own race)
My boyfriend doesn't know about my parents hatred of Persians and that they already don't like him before even meeting him. Should I let him know beforehand? But I also don't want to worry him.
Any advice on how to make this lunch not horrible? I have my brother here who will be a mediator for everything really because he is on my side but my dad respects his opinion so it should hopefully be helpful.
Should I warn my boyfriend about my parents racism? Should I not? How should I react if they act racist? I respect their opinion and want them to like him but I won't stand for their prejudice. So I just want advice on how to make this go as smooth as possible? | parents are racist and already have preconceived notions about boyfriend. How to get through this lunch smoothly? |
t3_g0gog | BreakUps | Having A Terrible Time Getting Over My Ex. | I will start with the finer details. I hope it doesn't end up being too long winded. She is about to be 23 and I am about to be 27. Back in November I took this girl on our first date. She slept over that night and so the story begins.
Soon after she had all of her stuff in my apartment. I didn't mind at all because I was/am ready for a serious relationship. She asked me about a week later why I haven't asked her to be exclusive so I did, and it was all down hill from there.
The relationship itself wasn't bad. Sex was amazing, she was a model so obviously attractive. I let her stay with me for free. Bought her everything she needed. Did everything she asked of me. I was what you would call the perfect boyfriend.
But she still had party girl tendencies left in her. I guess it got to her eventually that I wasn't a partier as well. Either way, she wanted to move to Manhattan, which I had no problem with, if she didn't ask if we could split it 80/20. I was sceptical and she took that as me not wanting to move out of my own town. She left me. Every time I tried to talk sense into her she called me crazy and dramatic. It annoyed me to no end that I could do everythign for this person to to have it thrown back into my face.
Fast forward about a month of me missing her, missing the sex, missing sleeping with someone every month. She calls me just to tell me that she is talking to someone. Just as I was starting to feel better, she has to reintroduce herself into my life.
Last night she calls me and tells me basically she misses sex and is tired of mediocre sex with this other dude. Why the HELL would she tell me shes having sex with someone else. Shouldn't it be an unwritted rule to just not say shit like that? Either way, I don't even think of other girls. I just can't get this girl out of my head and it's really starting to get to me. | I need help getting over a girl who took comlpete advantage of me, made me feel like I was good only for sex and my money. |
t3_mr7kw | AskReddit | I don't know if this goes here, but I need some help with this. | Hey AskReddit! I need some help concerning an issue that has recently come up in my life. My father is a Southern Baptist preacher, and I am a agnostic with neo-pagan tendencies. I decided to be what I am instead of pretending to be a Christian when I was 16. Because I was still in high school, my father and I had some rows, but we got through them together and now he fully accepts me for who I am. As you can see, this is not the issue I have difficulties with.
When I was 17, my father's church started struggling, specifically in it's youth (7th to 12th grade) department. The youth "minister" was a dick to all the kids, and some of the elders of the church blamed it on the kids, saying that they weren't responding well to the "minister's" "selfless" services. Being the Good Guy Greg I am, I thought that if he saw that someone in the youth trusted him, he might stop being such an asshole. So, in confidence, I told him about my religious preferences. Nothing changed, and he resigned as the youth minister a few weeks later. However, as soon as he was out of the youth ministry, he began petitions against my father saying that he was unfit for the position of pastor. His reasoning being that if my father could not "raise his kids right, then he will not be able to lead others."
Several months have passed since then, but his petition has grown in strength and my dad is at serious risk of losing his job. Is there anything I can do to help my dad out? Thanks guys. Ya'll are awesome. | I was naive and told a douche-bag christian about my religious preferences, and now my pastor father may lose his job. What do?* |
t3_48d461 | relationships | Me [24F] with a cashier [19 M] no duration of relationship, we just "met" and he sent me a friend request on Facebook which feels inappropriate | I read this subreddit all the time and I'm not sure if this is where I should be posting this, but I need some perspective on something that just happened to me and where to go from here.
One of my headlight bulbs went out last night so I went into **American Chain Auto Parts Store** this afternoon to get new ones (one went out, I figured I might as well replace the other.)
I knew which bulb I needed but I couldn't find it, so a sales rep got my attention and asked what I needed - I told him the year, make, model of my car and the bulb # that I needed, he found them for me, I said thanks, paid, said thanks again and went on my way. No where in this conversation was there a self introduction or any giggling or witty banter... pretty standard sales transaction.
So I get home maybe a whole ten minutes later and I have a friend request on Facebook from someone named Tyler Smith and I'm thinking, it's a new semester, and I just met a bunch of new people last night but the name isn't ringing a bell. So I look at his profile picture and I'm like wait... I pull my receipt out of my purse and the cashier's name on the receipt matched the friend request name in my inbox. "Tyler S."
So at this point I'm thinking what the fuck? Like, was my name on the screen when I swiped my card? How else would he have gotten that information? Are they allowed to do that? Is that creepy? Is that out of line?
I looked through his profile and he's 19 year old and single with an 11-month old daughter. I kind of want to tell his managers but I don't want to get the kid fired. At the same time, I don't have a relationship with this person and I don't know if it'd be appropriate for me to go out of my way to message him and tell him that I don't think his behavior is okay. Honestly, that kind of shit is going to make women not want to frequent their business - I know I sure don't really feel comfortable going back there. | Cashier I barely spoke to sent me a friend request on Facebook, I don't even know how he got my name, this seems inappropriate to me, am I overreacting? What should I do? Talk to his manager(s)? Talk to him myself? |
t3_4tn4pa | relationships | How do I (31/m) deal with my uncooperative parents (60ish)? | So I am 31, been married over a year and have 2 stepchildren. My wife and myself both work full time. I as a financial consultsnt and my wife as a nurse, so our hours never line up.
We rely on help from family to keep our children during the day when school is out so we can make a living. Her parents are happy to help and go out of their way to make things easy for us.
As for my parents, they told us "please make sure we are the last resort" when it come to babysitting. This hurt my wife's feelings, as she, and i understand, feels that my parents dont see them as their true grandchildren. My wife's parents have not said anything to me but i get the feeling they are frustrated that my parents refuse to help.
My parents are usually very nice and caring, and are always very nurturing when they are around the kids, they appear to treat them as their own. But they obviously dont want to spend any extended time around them.
Also, we live in a rural area and paid babysitting services are not available for kids of school age. | My parents dont want to keep my stepchildren and it is causing hurt feelings all around |
t3_2v63o7 | Advice | Ive been seeing a girl with a boyfriend, need advice please. | The manager and me at my workplace are really flirty and friendly, smacking butts playfully and such and i make her laugh constantly, shes got a great personality. the only thing is she has a boyfriend that also works at our workplace.
Last week i went on a walk with her and told her i liked her, to my surprise she said she liked me too and later that night we talked for hours and were making out for a long time. Since then we have had nights like these three times, the latest involved oral sex for both of us (fucking amazing), we were talking and sharing everything with each other that night aswell.
Getting to know her I realise I love this girl, its killing me that she has a boyfriend. She is currently thinking over her situation on whether or not she stays with her boyfriend or leaves him for me. She is conflicted with bad feelings for cheating, but it seems she likes me enough to forget those feelings.
Its killing me the waiting, does anyone have advice regarding what i could do to win her over? I know that im being a bad person in doing this but i love her so much, please dont hate i just want some advice please. Anything i could do to win her over or if i shouldnt try. | I love a girl with a boyfriend, she likes me aswell and is contemplating whether to stay with him or date me. |
t3_2mupj1 | relationships | I [28F] am having issues with my husband [40M] and his friends sending him porn. | We have been together for almost 9 years. Husband has recently reconnected with friends from his younger years who live in his native country. They have group texts going and his friends text him pornographic images and clips on almost a daily basis. This bothers me. When I told him this he kind of got mad or made me feel like my feelings were stupid. He basically told me this was my problem not his.
I am average lookin and husband is exceptionally good looking. I only recently started to have an enjoyable sex life. This is killing that. On top of it, a friend from work has been texting him photos of women that he is sleeping with. Some of the photos are selfies and some are taken while the women are asleep. In any event I am sure they don't know the pics are being mass texted to a bunch of this guy's friends. This I am REALLY not okay with. My husband says he doesn't think its right but he doesn't really seem like he thinks its wrong either. We have a small daughter and he has two teenage daughters, wonder if he would think it was wrong if they were his daughter's pictures being shared.
I guess his lack of concern for how I feel and the fact that this is completely new behavior after 9 years bothers me most. I have lost sleep, appetite, and the minuscule sex drive over this. In the past he has voiced disapproval of my friends. I no longer have any friends and now he has all these close friends again. I also fear bringing it up again because I don't want to have a fight but its just here stewing in me. | husbands friends send him porn on a daily basis, it bothers me, husband doesn't care. |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.