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t3_2s9adv | relationships | This girl [27F] who I [26M] have been dating for 3 months keeps "policing" our gender norms | I have been dating this girl for about 3-4 months and we are very compatible in where we are in our lives, which is important to me because I've had trouble staying with someone who is still in college or who works at a dead-end job. We make similar money and run in the same professional circles. We also have similar political views and she's also agnostic/atheist. Finally, she's easily the most sexually attractive partner I've ever been with.
Those are all of the good things. Unfortunately, this girl likes to regularly make it a point how a guy "should" act in a scenario, which I perceive as a passive-aggressive barb regarding something I did wrong in her eyes. For example, she initiated the first time we had sex, and she said several times since then that a guy should do that and not have to put a girl in a situation where she could feel vulnerable and be rejected, or be perceived as a slut (I definitely didn't tell her that I love sexually aggressive women and it is a huge turn-on for me when a woman initiates sex). At first I thought it was a joke or gentle teasing, but she kept bringing it up. Other things include her comments on how a man should always be the first to apologize after a fight, or how guys should do "little romantic things" on a regular basis to surprise a woman. On that note, I also feel a lot of pressure to keep our dates fresh and exciting, whereas she never really puts efforts to plan anything nor seems to care if I'm entertained. It's especially confusing because she's an otherwise very liberal, progressive woman, and this is behavior I'd except from some country Republican girl looking for her "cowboy".
I haven't brought this up because I feel sensitive about this topic. I was often bullied by male peers and my father growing up for having effeminate mannerism, such is in the way I sat or gestured when speaking, and my lack of physical strength and thin build. I have also had multiple people over the years think I am gay when they first meet me, and even though I am gay-friendly and support gay rights, it's a personal sore topic. | Girl with many qualities I am seeking in a girlfriend tries to passive-aggressively enforce traditional male behavior on me, which is a sore topic because I am sensitive about my perceived masculinity from years of bullying and personal insecurity. |
t3_4jb9zi | relationships | My bf [23M] of 6 months doesn't know if he wants to break up with me [24F]? | Hello I really want some advice please.
Me and my bf have been together for 6 months but have actually only been physically seeing each other for about 3.
Wednesday we went on a date like normal, but sometime during it he said he's noticed I have become more affectionate. I asked if that bothered him and he said no not at all. I sent a text that night asking if he wanted me to not touch him so much. He didn't text me till later in the day thursday. I said that it seemed he was less on top of me then usual and he said he wasn't sure if he liked me enough to keep the relationship. I asked if he wanted to break up and he said his feelings weren't growing for me anymore and didn't want it to seem like he was leading me on and that he did like me. I asked if he would let me know and then we kind of stopped texting that night.
The next day we texted like normal people.
I don't understand where it came from because everything seemed to be going well up until now.
He said he liked me a lot before a few times and said it Wednesday night. He's been wanting me to meet his parents and wanted me to that night. So how can he not be growing in feelings? I want him to be able to love me. Do I need to continue to give him space and not talk about it? Do I need to ask where we stand. Our next day was supposed to be this next Sat. I want to hold off asking to see If I'll be able to see him again. I really fell for him and Idk what's going on.
Thank you for reading. | Bf said his feelings aren't growing for me anymore out of no where and doesn't know whether or not he wants to end it. |
t3_40hazv | relationships | Me (26F) with boyfriend (28M) wants to take a break | My boyfriend and I have been together 4.5 years and in that time we've had some serious ups and downs. I have anxiety which effects me quite badly and I see a therapist for this, it makes communication between us difficult - especially when it comes to sex.
I've been having sexual issues lately and there has been a considerable lack of sex the last few months. Our communication around this subject had pretty much broken down until last night. We both sat down and talked about what was going on, what was lacking, how we felt and what we thought our next steps should be. I want us to try to work through this, boyfriend is feeling more unsure than I am. He wants to take a break of 1-2 weeks and see what happens.
I'm not sure if taking a break will really help us at all, in my mind I can see it pushing us further apart. He's already become closed off and cold which hurts me a lot. I've told him this but he says he doesn't know what else to do. So I wanted to ask: Are breaks from a relationship helpful or harmful? Should we try couples counselling? (Have done this in the past and he wasn't a fan)
And if anyone has any resources on anxiety and decreased libido please let me know, I've never experienced this before and feel totally broken.
Thanks reddit. | boyfriend wants to take a break from our relationship, good opportunity or bad? |
t3_2nnjwr | relationships | 16f seeking relationship advice with long term friend 18m | My best friend of eleven months (18m) and I (16f) have feelings for each other and we're about to enter a relationship. He's a freshman in college and I'm a junior in a rigorous high school program.
We met through church, although neither of us are religious. He has a bad reputation because of an incident that wasn't even his fault, but everyone thinks it is. My parents think he's trouble and they're afraid my reputation at church will be tainted from openly befriending him. I've had to lie to them twice to hang out with him, and that was when we were just friends. As of right now, we only spend time with each other once a month, besides church.
My parents finally allowed me to hang out with him a few days ago, but they were clearly reluctant about it. They don't know that we have feelings for each other, and they're afraid that we do. I'm not allowed to date.
Once we're in a relationship, we won't even be able to tell church friends because they have a habit of gossiping and eventually the news will reach my parents. How can we fix his image in my parents' eyes?
Furthermore, I'm afraid that right now isn't a good time for us to start a relationship. Our lives are very complicated and we both need to focus on school. We've agreed that we'll always put our education first, but I don't want a bad fight or a break up to screw up other aspects of our lives or our friendship. Is it worth it to start a relationship right now or should we just wait it out, even though we have mutual feelings?
I've never been in a relationship - this will be my first. | mutual feelings between me and my best friend, he's considered a "bad boy" in church, parents try to distance us. |
t3_1iezzq | legaladvice | Is what my boss doing legal? And is there anything I can do about it? | I have been working as a video editor and motion graphics designer in Texas for the last 6 years.
I am currently employed by a man who is the Chief Marketing Officer for a company (Company A), but maintains his past relationships with other companies he's done marketing work for. In fact, he used to have his own company, for which he produced all the ads himself (Company B).
He is currently trying to resurrect Company B. So when he feels there's an opportunity to put off some work from Company A, he instructs myself and a coworker to do extra work for Company B on Company A's dime. We are talking hundreds of hours worth of work. Then when we get back to the first company's assignments, they're days from being due and we have to work harder and longer to make the deadline.
My coworker and I are contractors, 1099s filed with Company A. But we don't have a non-compete clause. Which is why I'm not 100% sure if I understand what's wrong with the situation. But I feel as though myself, my coworker, and Company A are getting screwed (for lack of a better legal term).
Any input you could give me would help put my mind at ease. | Boss is financing the marketing for his start-up on another company's dime. |
t3_u8y0n | AskReddit | Reddit, this is a cheesy overdone question but: Is it weird to want "closure" on a relationship that never was? | Let me bore you with a story. Please don't call me a wimp or anything like that, I have a slight social anxiety problem. Just an extreme social anxiety penguin trying to break through a bit.
I had a huge crush on this guy (who happened to be my best friend's younger brother, awkward) for a long time, but I was too scared to tell him. It led to some embarrassing situations (ie unless he's oblivious, he knows I liked him), very awkward situations. And me being upset every time his sister was like "Awww he likes this girl and here's how he's gonna ask her out! Isn't that adorable??" Now I'm in a great relationship, and have been for almost 2 years now, but I can't seem to drop this mini-crush I have on him. He never truly dated anyone, but now there's this girl, and whenever I see pictures of them I get really jealous-upset. Is it weird to want "closure" on a relationship that never was? Guys (or girls), would it be terribly awkward of me to text him (I don't want it to feel too serious, and would prefer in person, but it'd turn serious if it was in person. Or I'd cry.) and get it out in the air in a friendly way? | I liked a guy a lot. Now I have a great boyfriend and no longer like the other guy, but I can't shake the slight crush. Would telling him make it better and help me let go, or just make things more awkward? |
t3_4pfwgs | relationships | Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [26 M] of 11 months, he's suddenly decided that he doesn't want children and never will. | Hey Reddit, I've tried to submit about this before but the situation has changed.
So I live with my boyfriend (I'll call him John), we have an amazing relationship with relatively few problems. We bicker now and then but it gets resolved quickly. I've made it really clear that I want kids in 3-5 years time and he has (until now) said that he wants that too. We are saving to buy a house and I have been looking for 2 bedroom houses near good schools, because we'll probably be staying in that house for a long time. We have also said we would like to get married in the next couple of years.
Basically everything is perfect which is why this sucks so much.
I was at work and John texts me mid-conversation to say 'I don't want kids. I've been thinking about it for weeks.' We discussed it at home face-to-face and he explained that he is scared that he will regret it. I was heartbroken because I know it's non-negotiable for me. I have a childless aunt who has an amazing marriage but regrets never having children and now she's too old. I really don't want that to be me.
I phoned his mother (with his knowledge) who I have a great relationship with. She thinks I am great for John but she says that it's a huge thing to compromise on. I agree with her. She knows childless women that are full of regret too. She went on to tell me about how much she loves her three sons, and even though it was hard raising them because they were so poor, she wouldn't change a thing.
So Reddit, I am really upset and confused. It changes everything. How can I get married and buy a house with this huge elephant in the room? I am young enough that I don't need to just leave straight away. John and I have agreed to just keep on as we are and he might change his mind. I wouldn't have agreed to this, but he changed his mind so randomly that I still have hope that it could go back the other way. | Boyfriend and I are very serious and live together, he suddenly doesn't want kids but I do. What should I do? |
t3_3zg37o | relationships | Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [19 M] for 2.5 years, I want to go on a trip with my school club but he's not happy. | So I'm on the board for a club at my university and we plan a 3 day snowboarding trip for our members every year. I have never gotten the chance to go except for this year. It will be my last year on the board and I would really like to go.
The problem is that my boyfriend is not happy. So he moved about an hour away for college and since I didn't get a car until this month and my mom is super strict about me spending the night I haven't been able to go visit him. So its relied on him driving over here on some weekends so we could see each other or him picking me up and driving back over to his apartment. Another problem is that we are on winter break right now and we haven't been able to hang out as much as we wanted to so far because my cousin came from another country to visit. We still have two weeks though to spend time together since she's leaving tommorow.
So at first I told my boyfriend that I wasn't going to go so we can have more time together, but after thinking about it I would really like to go since it's my last semester and it's my chance to finally make some friends. So I brought it up today so we can discuss it, and I made it clear that this doesn't mean I'm going. I just wanted to tell him that I would like to go and that I want to talk about it.
My boyfriend got upset because I changed my mind about going. He says it's not fair that I can go to this trip but I'm not allowed to spend the night over there. He also brought up that fact that we don't get to see each other a lot and we only have two weeks left and a 3 day trip will take time away from us spending time together before he leaves. Then he says that I don't put in enough effort in our relationship and don't sacrifice enough to because it's always him that has to come back. Is it selfish of me to want to go? | I want to go on a 3 day snowboarding trip with my uni clib but my boyfriend is not happy because we don't have a lot of time together. |
t3_26qbvi | relationships | I'm [18, M] jealous of my girlfriend's [18, F] male best friend, we've been together for nearly nine months. | I'm very young and this may seem like your usual stupid teenage romance story, but I would really like some perspective from older people nevertheless.
We met at the beginning of our second year in high school, due to her guardians being very strict, I was only able to see her at school, but we always spend our time together and we were very close. Since summer break started mid April, we haven't seen each other and won't do so until August.
Now the thing is, about a month before summer break started, I felt we were kind of drifting away, we weren't talking and hanging as much, and the physical contact was very short and occasional. Then I discover that she was contacting an old male friend of hers from her hometown. I see them interact more and more in facebook and then, the post star to become kind of flirty. This is when it really started bugging me, stuff like sharing those mildly romantic pics and tagging each other. At the same time we were texting less and less, we went from texting daily to not saying a thing in days, and I was always the one to text first.
Recently I confronted her about the facebook stuff, she apologised and said it was only a "game", and said she would stop.
While I haven't seen the facebook posts since, we still don't talk much, and I'm sure she still messages her friend, it seems she's going back to her hometown for a month and I'm becoming increasingly paranoid.
I really love her very much but I am an extremely prideful person so I kind of hate the thought that she might cheat on me. I really want to trust her and be confident in our relationship but I have a hard time doing so.
Also if it is of any significance, a relative of mine who is a psychiatrist once suggested (not diagnosed) that I might have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
What do you guys think? | I'm jealous of my girlfriend's close and somewhat flirty male best friend. Am I an idiot? |
t3_1z4uzz | offmychest | I Got Pushed Into Committing To A School But Luckily I Will Never Come Home | So my parents, (mostly my mum) have pushed me since Day 1 of my college search towards this one school which is highly respected in the business world. My mother's boss is on the board which runs the school, and I ended up getting a lot of merit money to attend. It is about 7 hours (driving time) from our home.
However, while this was a top choice of mine, I also got an even better merit scholarship to another school which is even stronger academically. This school is more of a liberal artsy place, but very very prestigious. Acceptance rates in the 25%ish area type prestigious. It is about a 20 hour drive from our home.
My mother has continued to push me towards the first school by making it so that I am unable to visit the second school for an overnight before I make my choice, etc. I do like school #1 very much, but am more upset at the feeling of not having the option of going anywhere else.
The first school does make more sense for business and networking, and has a five year co-op program which I plan on partaking in. Luckily, this co-op program begins immediately after my freshman year and starts with an internship that summer.
This means two things: I am getting ahead with experience, in a real-person-esque job, and I will not come home for summer break. Not ever in the five years I attend school #1 would I be home for summer break. I'll be getting ahead by gaining ~2 years of work experience and attending a program with a 99% job placement rate 6 months PRIOR to graduation.
I will be home on holidays (read: around 2 of the 52 weeks per year. Co-Op students have next to no break). However I don't plan on returning home for the holidays every year, as travel is expensive (especially if I'll only be there a few days). Why drive the 7 hours home to see my emotionally alienating family and feel empty on a holiday when I can do that in a dorm/apartment? | So yes, I am happy to attend School #1 which was chosen for me, but I wish I had the option of choosing somewhere else rather than feeling cornered. At least I am getting ahead professionally and will not have to come home for more than 2 weeks in a year. |
t3_rshuh | Parenting | Need some suggestions... | My son is autistic, he's 6. He likes Pokemon cards. I let him take his cards to his after-school care because other kids also had cards and were playing during the spring break. he started with 62 cards, and some kids gave him a few extra cards after his first couple of days. They called these cards, "energy cards" and they are used to activate abilities on other cards, and are therefore required to be able to play effectively.
The problem is, he just came home today with only 7 cards. The other kids just decided they wanted his cards, and he didn't know what to do to stop them. I told him when I let him take his cards, not to trade cards with anyone, because he wasn't knowledgeable enough about the game and the cards to trade fairly.
I know it's not his fault for letting the other kids bully him, but I have to punish him for not following my rule about not trading. My problem is that it's not really the Care Provider's responsibility to watch after my son's belongings, and although they have had classes about bullying it's not the kind of bullying that is easy to watch for. The kids just said they wanted my son's cards, and he let them have them. (According to him)
I've contacted one parent because our sons have had play dates together and she's promised to ask her son to return the cards he took, but the other parents are my concern, I don't know them, and some of the cards were "good" cards, that would actually help my son play and possibly win. They basically took all his good cards and left him with shit...I feel terrible. | The other kids at my son's after-school care took his "good" pokemon cards, who do I talk to? |
t3_4wfipv | relationships | I'm a 28F and I dont have friends outside my Fiance. I'm super shy though. | Sp I'm super shy, but also have high functioning autism. I get super shy around people I don't know if I'm by myself. If there is one person I know really well around I can open up a little.
I'm also very introverted and tend to find any excuse to go home.
I recently started playing Pokemon Go and it does get me out everyday. My fiance plays too and we tend to go together a lot. I go before and after work...but I don't interact with anyone.
I've tried to open myself up to people and friendly but it gets awkward and people always end up giving me strange looks and kinda just wander away.
All the friends I did have moved away and we keep in touch but I haven't made any friends since then. So I hang out with my fiance and his friends. Some of them really don't seem to like me though. Others are friendly though.
I've asked my fiance if there is a reason they don't like me so I can figure out why I'm having such a hard time but he thinks I'm insecure and that they like me. And minus one friend he cut off due to his constant verbal abuse toward me there have been no issues.
I go to a lot of events locally. And I volunteer too but nothing seems to come of it. Lately anyway. In the last year I volunteer for a ton of local events.
I'm tired of feeling friendless. I really do want friends but I'm not sure where to go from here. | I can't seem to make friends. |
t3_3z1lmb | relationships | Me [26 F] from Canada broke up with with my 30M boyfriend from the UK of 2.5 years because I felt he didnt make me a priority. Lost and confused if I did the right thing? | I met my boyfriend when I was in the UK studying. We fell in love and have been dating for 2.5 years. He has had a rough life growing up with his dad passing away, being raised by a single mom, having financial issues and living with his family. I always felt like his family/financial issues were always issues with him wanting to propose to me and start planning a future together.
He says that he wants to get married to me and only sees me as the one he will be with, but his actions don't match with what he's saying.
I had to move back to Canada, now that my work visa is over and he said he doesnt think he will ever move out of the UK, because he wants to be close to his family and work on his business and make something out of himself.
I felt like he wasnt taking me seriously and was taking me for granted. He was making me feel like I was not a priority in his life so I broke it off yesterday.
Im feeling very lost and confused and don't know if I was being too harsh. I told him to not contact me unless hes willing to make some commitments and make some compromises to make this work. | Should I wait for him to contact me or move on? |
t3_2tkads | tifu | TIFU by getting my ass kicked. | I got into an argument with a co-worker over something stupid. Insults were thrown about. We were both being unreasonable and stubborn. Then he said "I'll knock out your fucking teeth". To which I replied "Do it."
Fast-forward a bit of shit talking on both sides. For the record I never once threatened to harm him in any way. Only that I would meet him outside of work when he talks about kicking my ass.
So it spreads fast throughout work. Everyone knows. I get my ass kicked. Bad. Apparently there is video. I haven't seen it yet. I have to be at work in an hour and a half. I'm never going to hear the end of it.
I had slept like 4 hours after work. I've also been on a Xanax binge for at least a month now. Hell I'll take almost anything put in front of me. I knew I was going to fight someone but I got fucked up anyway. I haven't exercised in years. I also used to be able handle my self pretty well. I ran out of breath almost instantly. These are not excuses for losing. He won fair and square and I shouldn't have fought him to begin with. They are realizations that I have to change. I'm not going to live like this anymore.
Maybe getting my ass kicked for everyone I know to see was a good thing. | Got ass kicked by co-worker/maybe good thing? Still gotta go to work... |
t3_2slbgz | relationships | My (24F) abusive ex (24M) from seven years ago just messaged me on FB. | What could he possibly want? If he wants to apologize, should I even accept?
Here are the messages:
Him: "hey (my name), I know that it's been a long time, and that this is really unexpected, but I really need to talk to you. I have a lot of things that I really have to say to you. I not even sure if you are really on Facebook anymore, but I hope that you are and that you respond to me. I was actually hoping you'd like to meet one day so we could talk. I understand if you don't want to"
Me: Absolutely not. I haven't seen you or thought of you in years, and I don't think highly of you at all. Whatever you need to say, you can say it here. I'm too busy to go out to meet someone I don't even care about. I hope you understand.
Him: "okay. Yeah I do understand. I guess if I have to write it all down, so to speak, then it's going to take me a bit to do. So I guess I'll respond to you sometime this weekend. Would that be okay? and if you have no desire to hear what I want to say, I understand, and I won't bother you"
Now I am feeling anxious about what he could possibly want to say to me :/ He had to spend money to get FB to send that directly to my inbox. And even if he does want to apologize, it's likely only to make HIMSELF feel better. Why is he putting me through that?
He was so emotionally abusive towards me. I don't think that kind of pathology ever really changes. I feel like saying: "You have to live with what you did to me. You don't get a free pass to feel better about it." But what if I'm wrong? What should I do? I feel like he's likely to just make excuses for his actions or confess things I already know (and that don't matter anymore, seven years down the road.) Do people deserve forgiveness? | abusive high school ex wants to "talk"... how should I feel about this? |
t3_i5s4n | AskReddit | Reddit, what is making you rage? Vent your fury on this thread. | Personally, my brother is making me rage. He doesn't care about anything. He just throws his crap around the house and doesn't clean it up, he just uses my expensive things all the time without asking, he just says 'I don't care' if I question him about anything. And he's constantly arguing with me over the stupidest things, like how it's rude to take his iPod off the charger if he put it on. Yet just now, he took my iPod off the charger right after I put it on. I said something about it, and he said 'I don't care'. And right now he is using my brand new headphones, because 2 days ago I said he could use them for the moment. | My brother is a fag. |
t3_1eqntu | relationship_advice | I (m26) want to break up with my girlfriend (f27) because she's not the one. | I've been dating this girl for about three months now. She's fun and we have a great time together. I respect her as a person but there just isn't enough there for the whole package I'm looking for. I know she was on the verge of moving home not long before we started dating and now cites me as the reasons she's staying around. She'd be moving back to her home state not in with her parents. Either way. I feel bad because its not against her but I don't want to destroy her either because I'm the first serious boyfriend she's had. We're supposed to go visit my family this weekend for Memorial Day and I'm very torn. Help?! | Gf isn't the one. How to let her down easy because its not her fault. |
t3_2nv3dp | relationships | I (23M) recently broke up with my girlfriend (22F ) of 7 years. Unsure of how to meet other women. | Like the post says, I broke up with my girlfriend of 7 years a few weeks ago, and I'm not sure how to meet other women. I have never 'dated' before, and I've never had sex with anyone else, so my experience with anyone other than her is pretty much zero.
I have only a few female friends who are all in serious relationships, and my closest male friends are similar to me, in that they don't go out to clubs looking for someone to bring home.
I'm completely clueless as to how to go about meeting other women, and am already starting to regret breaking up with her, if only for the safety and ease of the relationship.
Do I nut up and approach random women at bars? Or is there a better way to meet women, preferably in a scenario in which I can talk to them as opposed to a loud club? | Broke up with long term girlfriend, unsure how to meet other women; starting to regret breaking up with her amid fears of never finding anyone again. |
t3_2ny62v | offmychest | I'm terrified of applying | It's the season for doctoral apps again. I've been trying for the last three years and I've never been able to gather enough courage to make an honest effort at it. I finally managed to get one in at the last moment yesterday (I still have to send them GRE scores) and I'm going to try to make it with more.
But I can't shake the feeling I'm doing this is vain. I'm pretty sure that I would be great at it and I would be very happy, but I can't see anyone recognizing my potential. I know I have it but I don't FEEL it myself. If I don't fuck up the apps, I'll fuck up the interview. The anxiety is paralyzing and terifying. I've tried this for so long, another year will make me feel like a failure. But I may have to do it because it is my dream and I am not going to give it up when I know I'm so close.
It's all in my anxiety. My scores are not great because I can't concentrate. I can't put in the work (belive me I do when I CAN) because working always feels like a reminder I'm a failure or a failure waiting to happen.
I will feel better somehow sometime. But right now I feel like I'm drowning. I just want to believe in myself earnestly, not just try to make it happen and fail because I need to be live in myself to.do the things I need to do to believe in myself. | Want to fuck this shit, can't fuck this shit. Want to do this shit, can't do this shit. |
t3_2zc9r2 | loseit | NSV: I got belted! | So My ass is too big for the next size down in pants, but too small for the size up, causing my jeans to fall down my ass every 2 minutes. Being a big person for so long, belts were never applicable to me, like ever, because who makes a belt like a billion feet long, here in Australia.
So I'm in Kmart, hiking my pants up and walk past the womens belt section. Small and medium belts galore but nothing to ASS+10. Moving on the the mens section, while improved, seemed luckless as well... Until I looked on the floor. ONE 122cm WAS FOUND. AND IT FITS. FIRST NOTCH BBY. I HAVE NOT WORN A FUCKING BELT IN 12 YEARS....omfg. YES.... I'm going to have to buy new pants soon... SIGH. | Bought a BELT for the first time in 12 years. |
t3_32m54x | relationships | Lonely and unsatisfied with my relationship. | My(f20) girlfriend(f20) and I have been together for two years now. We had some serious problems in January and broke up for a bit. She left me for a man that was my friend/boss. She fucked him, falsely fell in love with him and was moving in with him all in the span of less than two months.
That's all over now. Completely. She moved back in and we got back together. She won't admit to how much she hurt me or acknowledge the fact that I do NOT at all trust her. She does whatever she wants whenever she wants and doesn't care about how I feel. She won't even be intimate with me- not even on my recent birthday. She doesn't comfort me or make me feel loved. Yet I do everything I can for her. She ignores me or gets mad anytime I try to talk to her about it.
I don't know what to. Leaving her is a constant reoccuring thought. Due to financial issues I can't leave her or move out. Please help I don't know what to do. | Bad relationship, I need some help/advice. |
t3_4i62d3 | relationships | Should I [22F] be mad at my [24M] boyfriend of 3 years not wanting to spend time with me? | Let me get this out I'm hurt and upset but I'm asking if I should be justified in feeling this way.
I recently got a different job that allows me to pick my schedule every week. So I decided to have the same schedule as my boyfriend since we have been on completely opposite schedules for the last three months. (He works 2-11pm and I work 5am-2pm) He let it on that he doesn't think it's best for use to be spending that much time together. That our days off are fine but not everyday should be spent together. I was really hurt by that because I'm trying to get a schedule set for all of us so dinner can be made and we can save money. (We both eat out a lot because someone isn't making dinner on a regular basis) During our opposition schedules he would send me txt about missing me and wishing I didn't have to go to bed at 9pm. I thought I was helping but I guess not? | Am I okay in feeling upset about this? I feel like he's trying to avoid swing me all the time. |
t3_2p8t8m | relationships | I [19 F] feel like I don't make my boyfriend [20 M] of 4 months genuinely happy. Is this normal to feel like this? | Hello Reddit.
I don't know if I'm being stupid, insecure, overthinking etc., but I need your insight. Once in a blue moon, I would ask my boyfriend if I make him happy and he says yes. However, whenever my boyfriend and I are spending time alone, and one of his friends/group of boys call him-- it seems like he enjoys talking to them more on the phone/in person than when he's around me. We have times for our close friends, but when it's our time to spend it with each other that's when I become wary.
For example, during our birthday date it was extremely late at night and we were looking for this place I've been wanting to visit with my SO. He was quiet the whole time going there and saying he's just really tired. When we got there after walking around and admiring the setting, we decided it was time to go. Few minutes later, one of his friends calls him asking to come over because everyone's here, etc. The phone call involved him talking for half an hour, just laughing hysterically, and overall being genuinely happy.
Don't get me wrong I love seeing him happy and laughing as he doesn't get to see some of his boys often. But I guess looking back whenever we're alone which on some cases, when one of his friends calls-- he seems more interested and aware. Whereas when he's with me, there are moments when he's quieter because he's "tired."
I don't know if you understood the scenario mentioned above but am I wrong for feeling this way? I feel like I don't genuinely make him happy or make him laugh like the way his boys/friends do. I don't mind when he goes out with his friends because I feel like he enjoys his time genuinely than when he's with me... Certainly while he's talking on the phone and I'm around, he takes breaks in his phone conversations to give affectionate kisses to let me know that he's still present. Nonetheless, it sort of makes me feel empty and worthless to be around in his life... Am I overthinking all of this? | Whenever my boyfriend and I are spending time alone and one of his friends calls him... he seems more aware, laughing hysterically and just more interested in the conversation than when he's with me. It doesn't happen every time but when it does, it makes me feel worthless that I'm not funny enough or something that makes him laugh boisterously when it's our time. Certainly while he's talking on the phone and I'm around, he steals a minute to kiss my forehead or lips to let me know that he's still present. I feel like I bore him at times or just an accessory... Am I wrong to feel like this? Anyone experience these feelings before? |
t3_4gy2co | relationships | How do I (m14) ask a girl who is (f14) if they want to hang out | So I like this girl alot and she's real nerdy/ geeky like me. And I want to ask her if she wants to hang out sometime but I always get shy and dont do it. I like this girl alot and probly will be going to high school with her. Any advice on were to go/ how to do it? Also for the record she does not have a phone so I would have to do it in person. Also I can't have her hang out at my house beacuse I share room with my brother that is 19. And her parents are Strick. Any advice? Also don't have a car atm | I a shy guy wants to ask a girl to hang out but aways shy out/ dont know where to go. And need advice |
t3_tph9a | AskReddit | I love my girlfriend but her past is really affecting me. She likes to hurt herself, how do I help her? | As a child my girlfriend was sexually abused by one of her uncles. She has very unsupportive parents who do nothing but yell and at time beat her, she has not told them about the incident. She likes to "forget" about the incident by hurting herself. Sometimes its burning, but usually its small scale things like pinching herself or stabbing herself with her nails. I'm afraid one of these days she is going to do something very drastic. If I tell her to talk to a professional she starts assuming that I think she is crazy. What do I do Reddit? | GF likes to hurt herself, what do? |
t3_19ex0f | relationships | GF(30) and myself (29M), She moved out here for me and isn't happy anymore. | So we had been dating for almost two years, most of it long distance. We talked about her moving out here with me, Being in the military in all I couldn't move to her, and were going to wait until she could find some work out here before she came out here. Well she was having a hard time finding places to return her calls and get back to her for possible interviews. So I told her that I can afford to have you out here without a job, and it might get easier to get a job once you are in the area. So she moved out here got all her stuff packed up and is now living with me. Was a big adjustment for both of us which I expected, but we had a really big fight about a month ago and haven't been able to recover. She says she isn't happy anymore, but she is stuck here. She thinks that I am settling with her and that everything that I tell her is a lie. I want to make her happy and feeling how we use to but I don't know where to start. Any advice would be helpful and greatly appreciated. | GF isn't happy says she is stuck, want to make it better and don't know where to begin. |
t3_3pdezg | askwomenadvice | Would You Wait for Sex for Medical Reasons? How Long? | [27M] here, currently dealing with some medical issues that more-or-less preclude sexual intercourse (note: not ED or STD of any kind). The issue is entirely temporary; I am having surgery in a few weeks, and the whole thing should be resolved within two months. Needless to say, I haven't been looking to date while this has been happening.
However, I recently met someone [34F] who I think is super dreamy and the feelings have been clearly reciprocated. Couldn't resist the urge to ask her out. We've hung out a few times, and we've only been on one official date so far, but it went very well, and we're meeting up again this week. So, naturally I'm worried about broaching the issue of waiting for sex if/when the opportunity for the conversation should arise.
I will say that I don't think she's just looking for a quick bang, and I know that is true for myself. But I am worried that waiting that long might land us in some sort of "friend zone" if we keep spending time together. | So, the question(s): What would your reaction be if you were asked by a male suitor to wait a couple of months to have sex for medical reasons? Should I be concerned about maintaining her interest in me as a partner? Any female perspective on my situation would be greatly appreciated, thanks. |
t3_1mf85o | Advice | How do you cope with cancer in loved ones? | My father was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer last year. He went through both chemo, radiation and surgery.
four months ago on his road to recovering, my step mom was diagnosed with breast cancer that had spread into her lymph nodes and chest cavity. She had a double mastectomy and is going through her rounds of chemo and radiation.
I have found myself changing into a different person. I am less caring, I feel like everything is so fragile and serious now. My heart hurts so much an I'm finding it really hard to enjoy doing that things I love so much.
Does anyone have advice? Is anyone going through the same? | My parents have cancer, I need to find my lust for life again. How? |
t3_1p13yu | Advice | I really need some advice on coping with my defeat | So here I am, a nice guy who's nice to a woman who I have great feelings for. She's great and I love everything about her. She has an infatuation with a friend of mine, and I'm just taking the beating. Every night when we chat the topic always gets to how great this guy is and it is really killing me. She has no idea how I feel (If she does, she's really mean) and I doubt telling her my feeling would change anything. I'm taking a good long time to give her advice on this relationship with Mr. Perfect and it's just killing me on the inside. I feel hollow. I want her to know how I feel, but I can't let her because she would get mad. All she tells me about is how she's arranged dates with this guy and how she'll always choose him over me. I really don't understand it, I'm nice to her, I try to take interest in what she does, on the other hand, this guy just acts plain stupid around her. She never gave me a chance... The first time she sat next to him, she announced "[Anon] is now my perma-buddy". I feel like a shell. I would die for this woman. What do I do? | The woman I like continues to tell me about how much she likes another man... |
t3_4kfoly | relationships | Me [25F] with my husband [32M] of 2 years, now that he's making more money he's wasting it all and refuses to agree to a budget. | My husband was a sales engineer for 6 years (making around $80-$120K) and then moved into management for a mid sized engineering company. The money was good (low $200K's at first), but we live in an expensive area, so we couldn't live extravagantly.
About 6 months ago he became the director of North American sales at a major competitor, and it came with a huge pay increase. Around $600K depending on how many targets he hits.
Since then, he's gone a little wild with money. He's going out every weekend (when before it was maybe once a month), he won't hesitate to drop $3K-$4K at a strip club on a regular basis (when before it was a few hundred every once in a while), just brought a brand new car, etc.
I tried to talk to him and he claims that we can afford to live like that. It's almost like he doesn't care that we haven't increased our rate of retirement savings since the salary increase......
What should I do? | Husband refuses to budget - what should I do? |
t3_3672iv | relationship_advice | Need tips on first make out session | So me and my gf (both 17) are planning on making out very soon. She has made out with 3 other guys, and I haven't even had my first kiss, but since I am moving very soon, we decided that my and our relationship's first kiss will be us making out. Anyway, I have a list of questions that I was wondering about...
-where is the default hand positions?
-is sorta sliding my hand across her breast once during the whole session a good idea to give her a little sense of shock?
-is putting one hand on her lower back (not ass) good?
-any and all tips are appreciated | need tips on making out |
t3_253xn3 | relationships | I [f22] am not sure how to get past a rough time with my SO [m23]? | (I apologize for the length and semi jumbled mess!)
My Boyfriend and I have been together for a little longer than a year and a half. We're generally a very happy couple, of course the little tiff every now and again but we have very open communication and healthy relationship. Right now he's finishing up his last semester in college and is graduating a week from today. Things have been, for lack of a better word, tense between us. We've been fighting more than ever (when just a month ago we have been nothing short of perfect) and lately almost every time I get off the phone with him we're both mad or unhappy. We have went from seeing each other once a day to maybe once a week. I'm getting really burnt out on the constant little arguments every day. He's constantly snapping at me and when I go out of my way to make sure to encourage him, bring him pick me up snacks/meals, and just be all around supportive I feel under appreciated.
I graduated last year and can completely understand the stress and full schedule but I'm not sure how to handle the constant fighting and snapping at each other. Do I continue to send my love or just pull away and see if things cool off after he graduates? I'm sorry if this was kind of jumbled and long but if anyone has any advise on getting through stressful times that'd be great!! | boyfriend is going through the stressors of graduating and straining our relationship. How can I get through this rough time? |
t3_xcdgt | AskReddit | Can someone explain, generally, how salary negotiations work in a business? As well as a couple specific examples to illustrate it? | I'm not referring to multimillion dollar salaries for professional athletes or even how to negotiate a salary for a high paid CEO/CFO/etc. I'm just an average guy who worked for a while, went back to school and got my degree (unrelated [but not irrelevant] major/minor), and has rejoined the workforce.
Here's some specific information regarding the the employer/my situation in case anyone can give me more specific feedback. I work as an (marketing) intern for a start-up company in silicon valley, California. I've only been working there for a month, but they've already given me "ownership" over multiple projects (the saying "one person wears many hats" applies especially to start-up companies). By my calculations, I currently make ~40k a year with overtime (10 hours of OT a week). I have no benefits (health/dental/vision). I was brought in directly through the company (not by an outside contract agency/temp-to-hire). | what is the process of being approached/offered/negotiating a full-time salary? What are the do's and dont's of the process? |
t3_2dc4fu | relationships | [Relationships] Me [18 M] with my best friend of 5 years [18 F] went from just being friends to sex - I think it's ruined our friendship | I've been friends with this girl for five years and about four months ago she broke up with her boyfriend of two years. He was a real piece of dirt, like the kind of possessive asshole you find in those romantic films where they're engaged and you don't know why. It reached a point where he essentially told her not to talk to me or her other male friends and, wanting her to be happy (she was happy with him), I stopped talking to her.
We hadn't spoken in about a year until she broke up with him, then things kinda shifted back to how they were before. It was almost effortless how quickly our friendship just went back to what it was, but that's what I'd always liked about her, everything just felt so natural. The only thing that was different is that she was now not a virgin and I still was so that was kind of awkward, but it was no big deal.
Then, about two months ago we were both at a big 'end of school' house party thing and we'd had something to drink and we just kinda made out. It wasn't too awkward and we laughed about it and things went back to being just friendly. The other night we were on skype and somehow the topic turned to sex and she asked whether I could separate sex from feelings. I thought 'yeah' because who can't.
She came round on Sunday and we had sex and it was great, but we were both very clear that it wasn't something to lead to a relationship and that it was just a one time thing.
The problem is I can't stop thinking about everything that happened and, when I do, it feels like there's a weight on my heart. I don't want to bring it up with her because I feel like it's just going to ruin the friendship that I've only just gotten back. She's going through some stuff with her own family regarding terminal illness and I don't want to interrupt what she's dealing with. How can I stop thinking about it, how can I stop feeling things and how can I get laid again? | platonic friendship lead to no-strings sex but I can't help but feel things that aren't reciprocated. How can I stop feeling them and stop thinking about what happened? |
t3_1b83cj | dogs | Hello, I am new to this sub, but I have a problem. | My Lab has started to be aggressive to other dogs, we wrote it off initially to my brother-in-law bringing his uncut male Golden over for a week over Christmas. The two dogs were not very friendly, to say the least. Now he is getting more and more aggressive towards my wife's Aussie, she is older and was the Alpha dog before. My Lab is 4 and has taken the lead of the dog pack, but is still attacking her. The problem is compounded by my new son, 3 1/2 months old. Though my Lab has never had any aggressive tendency towards people I am concerned that when my son learns to locomote he may find himself in a dog fight. | My Lab is being aggressive to other dogs in my household, any advice? |
t3_33h0bn | askwomenadvice | ladies of reddit, how long should I (23m) give a girl (23f) I've been dating (3 months) to decide between me and another guy she just started seeing? After how long should I walk away? | We had been seeing each other on a daily basis for three months- dates, movies, night caps, spooning, giving pet names, finishing each other's sentences - you know the whole fucking thing.
We were pretty much "together" but I hadn't asked her to be exclusive yet. Mainly because I'm indecisive and still wasn't sure about her ex situation. I slowed it down for a week because I was very busy and out of no where she's seeing another guy.
she says she's unsure about what to do and wants me to give her time to choose. the problem is when she isn't with me I know she's with him and I think they're sleeping together. | I was reluctant in asking a beautiful women out, and now I'm competing with another guy. How long should I wait for her to figure this out knowing she's having sex with him? |
t3_1zpcqq | relationships | I[24M]have fallen in love with a girl[21] that i shouldn't be with. | There's some many elements about her that screams warning.
The major one is that we work together (in retail) and i'm her supervisor.
There's also the fact that she's really not my usual type. She's superficial, doesn't go to school, our interests are not the same and i wouldn't say that she's stupid, but i can not have a conversation with her about politics, cinema or books, even the slightest.
But at the same time, i really feel that she's into me, examples:
" From the bottom of my heart, i have to tell you, i REALLY like hanging out with you. I just cannot wait to do something with you, outside of the job"
There's the usual smiling, long enough to make me thinking. The stares.
And last time at a party, i heard through a friend that she specifically asked to sit next to me.
From what i heard, she compliments a lot of people, and i feel like she does it a little bit more with me, and with more innuendo.
And i just cannot get her out of my head.
I've known her for 2 months, and i wonder if it'll past.
I wanted to confess to her, but like i said i'm really not sure we'll make a good couple.
And i absolutely cannot avoid her since with work together.
I really dont know what to do. | Girl at my job is really cute. This girl is so dangerous. |
t3_h3fps | AskReddit | Not sure if being scammed... | Hey guys, I was recently contacted via LinkedIn by a woman who described me as being "a good fit" for her openings.
I asked if she had any details for these positions/links etc, and if she wanted my full resume', since all she saw was my LinkedIn profile.
She then tells me there are some jobs opening in "Internet, Marketing, and Team Lead"
and she asks me to call her for more details
So at this point I'm like... Internet is seriously a job description/title ?
Anyway, today I called her, she points me to a website -
and tells me to scroll down to - Interview -
type in my name/email (optional values)
and the password she gave me was: 239916
Now... honestly... i watched the video, called the lady back ... and she tells me there's a webinar on thursday night...
I come from a CS background... but honestly
are business people this weird?
Now this lady just seems like a major troll. But the video is super vague, with some jersey accented girl talking the whole time.
Are there places/ways to know if this person is serious? | contacted on linkedin about working for someone - job is super vague - video mentions "this isnt a pyramid scheme scam" - what job has to say it's not a scam? rofl |
t3_irp37 | AskReddit | How do you feel about nixing "the narwhal bacons at midnight" for a simpler, more practical system. | I found this earlier, and I think it's exactly what we need. I'm worried that the post won't get enough attention to make any real change or impact. I commented on it:
I spend a lot of time browsing reddit, and I speak with my upvotes and downvotes mostly. I very rarely comment. However, I think **this should not be ignored.**
>Reddit as a community is getting more and more **public notoriety**, and with that comes more **responsibility with the way we conduct ourselves**. If reddit users go around acting like *self-important jackasses with no worldly perspective*, then reddit will be known as a place for those types of people.
>I like the idea of reddit remaining a tight community - **a community that I respect and cherish**. I don't want that community to lose its integrity *"for the lolz"*, as they say. Staying close to this system as a guideline will **only benefit reddit.**
>Furthermore, we do pride ourselves on our **underground nature**, despite our size and presence. That pride is important; it keeps our **identity strong** and our **community closely-knit**. I look forward to the next time I'm having a conversation with someone, and we are able to use these cues to identify each other, and **bond over that experience**.
> | This is exactly what we need, and it's come not a moment too soon. I will do what I can to get this seen and to the front page. I recommend that you do as well.*** |
t3_4ml2vv | relationships | Sex problems with new boyfriend. Talk to him? (M/F 23) | We've been seeing each other for a month and things have been going really well. Everything has been almost too good, except for the sex. We have a lot of chemistry and I look forward to having sex with him but there's been some issues.
* premature ejaculation: 80% of the time we have sex, he'll come in 1-2 minutes. this happened both when we were using condoms and when we stopped last week.
* delayed ejaculation: 20% of the time he can't come at all or says he'll have a hard time being able to
I thought it was common to have one of these, but not both, so it threw me off when he wasn't able to finish since he usually finishes quickly. He always takes the time to do foreplay until I finish beforehand- either fingering me or oral. But I don't have as strong of orgasms this way and would like to sometimes have them while we're having sex.
I'm worried about talking to him because when I talked to one of my exes, it seemed to make him REALLY self-conscious (he wasn't able to stay hard, and I told him it wasn't a big deal, but he was upset that we even talked about it).
I'm guessing that it's a performance anxiety thing, or maybe it's medical. Not really sure. Any thoughts?
Should I bring it up or just see if it gets better with time? | boyfriend either has delayed ejaculation or premature ejaculation and there doesn't seem to be a pattern. |
t3_eoerr | AskReddit | Reddit: How do I avoid nighttime brain trolling? | As seen in the above, typically, this happens to me at night. I am frequently unable to fall asleep when I try to go to bed. I've tried nearly everything, including a white noise generator, reading before bed, no TV past a certain point, trying to reduce caffeine in the afternoon. And yet I still find myself trying to fall asleep and it routinely taking 1-3 hours to actually fall asleep. In the meantime, I have my brain running at 100 MPH thinking about anything and everything. How do I learn to fall asleep faster?
Obviously I could try drugs, but I'm trying to avoid that. | whats a quick way to fall asleep and avoid brain trolling? |
t3_3hjrvv | relationships | My [35F] fiance [38M] is sick, refusing to see a doctor, and I don't know how to handle it. | I'll try to keep this brief - my fiance (2 yr relationship) had cancer ten years ago and survived it. In the last year he's put on a bit of weight (not massively though) and the last few weeks has been feeling uncomfortable pressure around his lower back and kidney area. When he's in pain he says he wants to see a doctor, he's worried, etc and we usually talk through it and book appointments, but he's still very anxious. However, the pain comes and goes, and when it dissipates he insists he's fine and there's no need to see anyone, and gets very annoyed at me if I suggest it might be a good idea to go when he's feeling okay.
He's really starting to withdraw - either he's in pain and anxious, or he's feeling okay and gets frustrated with me if I mention anything to the contrary. I feel like I can't do anything right. It's causing me to be anxious too, and whenever I stay home thinking he might need me for support he tells me to stop worrying and go out, but if I do go out he sulks that I wasn't there for him.
I feel like no matter what I do it's wrong and he finds fault with it - I understand that he's terribly worried, but I am too, and I'm not sure how to best behave when he doesn't want to talk about it at all. | Fiance is sick. Refuses to see doc - is worried when he feels bad, gets annoyed with me if he's feeling okay and I mention it might be a good idea to see someone. Don't know how to best deal with it in a way most helpful to both of us. |
t3_21k5bh | relationships | My new girlfriend (18/f) wants to take it slow with me (18/m). | A couple weeks ago I asked out a girl I work with. She seemed extremely nervous about our first date but once things got going she really opened up and we had a great time.
I took her to a beautiful park near my neighborhood. We walked, talked, held hands, flirted, goofed around... overall great date.
She said she had a great time with me and looked forward to our next date. Unfortunately, I fucked up the goodnight kiss (she turned last second and I smashed my face into her cheek) but that's fine.
Anyways, the next day we were texting and somehow go onto the topic of serious relationships. She said that her last relationship was really intense and lasted almost 2 years, and that it will take her awhile before she feels that deeply about someone else again. She also said she wants to take it slow with me on the emotional/serious level and just have fun.
I understand all of that but I'm the type of person who likes to know where things stand. I told her I agreed and that we should take time to build our relationship before getting serious but really I just want someone to love.
>
> | First date went great but she's very cautious about getting serious with someone. She wants to take it slow with me for now. What do? |
t3_cikot | AskReddit | What do I tell a company I do side work that I also have a full-time Job? | So here is the deal - I found these people on Craigslist, they needed Apache+PHP upgraded on their server and to setup their SSL, the only problem was they needed me to be there at noon. I work 7am-4pm and I figured id throw a high $/hr fee to make it worth while. They accepted it and I went and did the job yesterday. I spoke to the owner of the company and he asked me about what other skills I had, so I explained everything I do.
I get an email later in the day asking me what my schedule is like because they would like to bring me back in to do some more work on a different project. Obviously they want me to come in during business hours. I don't really know what to tell them, I want (read; need) the extra work but I also don't want to be asking for time off from my main job.
What can I tell him that wont sound like I don't want to do the work but also explain to them my situation? | Did a quick job on craigslist and now they want me to come in for more work but it interferes with my full-time job, what can I say without sounding like I don't want to work? |
t3_k60kc | AskReddit | Unsure if depressed, desperate for help. | [Insert generic "first time poster, never thought I would"]
Basically I think I'm at my breaking point where my mood and my behavior is causing problems with my girlfriend and with my family. Ive been contemplating killing myself for years but can never bring myself to do it because I know my parents and girlfriend would be ashamed of me. This is also the same reason I've never sought help before. Im not sure if im depressed or just an asshole, most likely the latter. I go through violent mood swings, dont ever feel motivated, am very anti social and think about killing myself very seriously probably everyday. I guess my life is kind of at a dead end and I dont know where to go. I feel pathetic for even asking for help. I guess that is all. | I think I might be depressed but I dont know" |
t3_2xcyfj | relationships | I [23F] am worried that my fiancée [23M] of 5 years is resentful of my success | This is a throwaway, just in case.
I have been with my fiancée, Alex, for 5 years now, we met in freshman year of college, and became engaged last year. Our relationship has always been very strong, and we are extremely happy together. We trust each other completely and almost never argue or fight.
The problem is that when we met, I was in a very prestigious school, and he was in an average one. I have always been an overachiever, and I don't want to brag, but I have been successful in everything I have done. During college I set up a small business which I continue to run, and when I graduated I got an awesome job at my dream company. Alex did extremely well in college, and graduated with better grades than me, but he has always felt that it doesn't mean much because his University wasn't great. He has a great job, and I do think that he is happy. Despite this, I have always had the impression that he doesn't like the fact that I have done better than him in life so far, and that he thinks I'm smarter than him. Whenever something good happens to me, he does act like he's happy for me, but it seems to make him sad for a while. This was especially apparent when I got a good promotion last month, and he said things like 'I guess I better get used to never being successful.'
I think he is ridiculous for thinking that he is dumb and unsuccessful because he is neither of those things, but he constantly puts himself down. Whenever I say nice things to him, or compliment him he either thinks I'm being sarcastic, or just disregards what I say and says something derogatory about himself. It has gotten to the point where I don't want to ever say nice things or congratulate him on his successes because I know I will just be met with negativity.
I am posting here to see if anyone has had a similar experience, and what you did about it. I realise that it is not a huge problem, but it is something I would like to deal with now, rather than after we marry. | My success makes my fiancée feel negatively about himself and I don't know how to make him feel better. |
t3_1pic5k | relationships | Me [26 M] with my SO [23 F] Several Months, Continues seeing her Ex after I said it made me uncomfortable | GF has been honest for the most part about interaction with her Ex, and the situation behind their break-up. He was an Ass and didn't deserve her; wound up cheating on her and they broke up. Now they are talking and hanging out on a SEMI regular basis... For the most part she tells me (after the fact) that she saw him. I have expressed my feelings that I am not comfortable with the relationship between the two of them, but she insists that it is platonic and she is doing nothing but "counseling" him on his most recent failed relationship.
We have been seeing each other for just shy of 6 months, and have been exclusive pretty much from the start. I don't know if I am over-reacting or being sensible since my previous relationships have been less than healthy. | GF is still hanging out with her despicable Ex even after expressing my concerns. Looking for advice... |
t3_168j8v | relationships | So I (M/17) broke up with my gf(F/16) over her liking many people, and she says i have chance but she wants to whore around. Advice guys? | This is from my phone so bear with me on any flaws. Okay, so i broke up with my girlfriend i knew for 2 years and went out for a month (i know sounds silly) its been a week since we broke up. but i never felt so connected to anyone one else in my past. Basically the reason why i broke up with her is because she was confused about me or her first love, and she has crushes on many people. I know im stupid to want her back but im young and naive. Basically she wants to whore around and all, and doesnt want to feel guilty over me. Sometimes we are just fine and then its just emotional hell. I want her but i know i should move on, but at the same time i know little ol me will keep coming back. What can i do to make it work, or move on, or anything. I'm a wreck right now. | broke up with girlfriend, she says i have a chance to get back with her but she wants to whore around too and i'm an emotional wreck. |
t3_1iloru | needadvice | I need help in getting active/motivated really badly-r/getmotivated won't help | I'm a 16 y/o male and I've been smart but lazy my whole life, so far it's worked as I've done quite well. But I know that if I continue like this I won't get anywhere in life, especially now, as I want to go to oxford university. I've taken a ridiculously advanced math course for the next two years and I need to be able to put my head down and work harder than I've ever worked before. I have known I have a problem with lethargy/procrastination for a while, but it's come to a point where I know my future could be at risk. | I keep telling myself I have to work and stop procrastinating but it never works, how can I change this? |
t3_1ignzu | relationships | My gf [24f] complains about guys hitting on her, but she still talks to them? | Hi everyone.
My gf [24f] and I [25m] have been together for a year.
Recently, she began a new job, where her coworkers have been VERY nice to her, especially a few male colleagues. Fine, no big deal. They take her out to lunch, they bring her coffee, etc. She eventually realized that they had other intentions other than being a good coworker.
The weird thing is, she comes home from work and goes, "Ugh, Rob is so annoying. He called me on the way home from work and talked for like half an hour. I don't care about your life, jeez." or "Bill's pissing me off. He's been texting me all day about how tired he is and he keeps trying to prolong the conversation."
I understand that she likes the attention. How do I gently break it to her that...1) I know she likes the attention and 2) If she REALLY finds them annoying, then stop responding to them, stop talking on the phone with them for 30 min, stop texting them all day. | gf gets hit on by coworkers, and always complains how annoying they are, but still talks to them. |
t3_20navs | relationships | I (23F) received a gift in the mail, no card. I want to know if my ex (23M) sent it. Is there anyway to do this in a classy manner? | My long distance ex and I were dating for 2+ years. We mutually broke up a few weeks ago. At the end of our relationship, he wasn't treating me very well. However, the break up was pretty amicable. He said he wanted to be friends but I declined. We're long distance and I don't see the point.
Anyway, I received a birthday present in the mail with no card. It came from our state, not his city. No other clues. I asked everyone but no one is claiming they sent it. The gift is incredibly thoughtful and personal. It's rather expensive and just not a "friendly" gift.
I'm curious to know if he got it and if he did, I need to thank him for it. I get that there might not be a return address for a reason, but this is so nice that I need to reach out to whoever sent it. I think there's a 50/50 chance it's him. I'm actually leaning towards it not being him though, because he's just really not thoughtful. As mean as that sounds. Also, he didn't wish me a happy birthday. We aren't talking. I thought if he sent this, he'd at least wish me a happy birthday.
How would I word this? If he says no, I didn't send it, that's super awkward! | Slight chance that my ex bf sent me something. How would I go about asking without making things uncomfortable? |
t3_19rlqf | relationships | Feel unappreciated and slight used [m25] [f22] | Dear realtionships,
So girlfriend of mine have been dating around 6 months. In the beginning she worked extremely hard to get me, I surcame to this and the relationship was formed (although I obviously had a decent interest level) .
The thing is, originally the girl was extremely nice and flattering of me. She cared drastically about what I thought and to not put it shortly, was one of the best people I knew. But over the past couple of months, things have changed. She isn't very complementary towards me anymore, often criticizes me through 'joke' form. She barely puts in the effort, somehow i've been the one contacting her a high majority of the time and the little things like writing "love you" all the time and stuff have stopped. Its hard to write in messages, but just little things like not letting me know when she's out and i'm going to go to hers (I get there and no ones home, I call "Ill be back in 30" [nothing suspect here trust me]) and things like that It just kind of feels like the weight of the relationship has fallen on me. For instance i'm the only one who has a car between us, so i'm forever driving us everywhere. Which isn't just a matter of fuel money, its a big commitment and she really relies on it. But I get next to no thanks for this.
We had a few small fights before this, but overall I feel like i'm a really good boyfriend to her. I always go out of my way to help and reassure her of things, and truth be told I feel like the high majority of the relationshiip effort has fallen on me.
The problem is i'm not sure what to do. Right now I feel like ending it, because I don't deserve to be treated this way, however part of me thinks im just being overly sensitive and the fact we communicate every day etc I should be like "Oh ok cool". I'm really not sure what to think about the whole thing. | feel unappreciated in relationship, not sure what to do |
t3_djamr | AskReddit | Any one willing to step up? | First of all guys, I love the general ethos of reddit. This site acts like a support group for the rational minded individual. With respect however, I feel that the community has become a little polarised.
I enjoy reading the subreddits r/politics, r/trees, r/atheism but I have been noticing a little bit of disdain with these subreddits by the general community. I feel that this is due to a case of preaching to the converted. The initial steep learning curve one encounters when coming across these subreddits quickly plateaus as you become saturated with the hivemind ethos. You guys are (in general) all intelligent, articulate and rational people. You are forgetting how rare that is in this day and age. Look at what you guys were able to accomplish with the Colbert - Stewart rally and the huge contribution to Donorschoose.
I believe Reddit is in a pretty unique position, It has amassed a fair amount of credibility and influence and with great power comes great responsibility. It has a great track record of positive collaboration so why not continue this and actually encourage and support some form of political movement. If we were able to raise $250,000+ in a few days for one organisation, can you imagine how we could all collaborate to endorse and fund a campaign for some political candidates? | Lets move this into the real world. Would we be able to endorse and fund political candidates? |
t3_1z84h8 | relationships | Me [22F with my ex [27M] 1+ yrs. Months after breakup, how do you cut the rest of those heart strings? | It's been since December since we've last spoken. It was all a mess, it's a very very long story, and it was a shitty mess made by me and him also...
But now... I still find myself having dreams, and seeing him in them once in a while. I have short daydreams about him from time to time...
I've come to the realization that I don't think I'm completely or thoroughly over him. I loved him oh so much, and I got stupid, tangled shit up and ruined eeeverything we had. But I loved him so.
I know his reddit username... I read what he's commented on, what he says... I can't help it. I can't stop. I want to know how he's doing.
I just want him in my life again. I don't care if it's not a romantic relationship. He was such a light in my life, that he was irreplaceable and forever will be. He's blocked me from Facebook for less emotional strains since the breakup.
Reddit... if this silence, this nothingness has to be, then how do I cut these last strings? How do I make my heart stop trying to turn itself inside out?
I doubt he knows of my account name here... thus, I doubt he'll read this. I really, really hope he does somehow by chance... But I don't think that will ever happen. I wish I could just tell him how I feel and just get it off my chest, maybe that will help. I miss him greatly. | Realize I'm not over him. Can't seem to let him completely go. How do you cut ALL of the ties and just let go? |
t3_2kfak2 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my SO [22 M] of 5 years, I don't look forward to sexual intimacy anymore. | My girlfriend (C) and I have been together since the end of high school. She finished up this year and is pursuing research opportunities in our city. I'm in my last semester. We don't currently live together but definitely have plans for it after I finish and start my job.
The problem is, in the last few months I have grown less and less attracted to her. Its not a problem with weight gain (she fluctuates between 5 lbs of her normal weight) and as far as I can tell, shes more or less the same loving girl I fell in love with.
However, recently, an ex of mine (A) reached out to see how I've been keeping. We talked on and off, nothing secretive, over the past few years. But she recently got out of a LTR (3 years) and seems quite upset about it. So we grabbed coffee one day to talk and we really hit it off. We have a lot in common and she is just an enjoyable person to talk to and be around. Not to mention, she is now drop dead gorgeous. I didn't keep the meeting a secret from C, but I did not let her know about how I felt. I am also pretty positive that A is interested in my from recent texts and requests for follow up "dates."
My problem stems from my obvious attraction to A and my loss of attraction to C. Is this just a phase? I haven't felt this way in my years with C and I just want to know if anyone has gone through something like this. Sorry if this isn't super descriptive, I just have a ton on my plate at the moment and I needed to get it off my chest and hopefully get honest advice.
If I left anything out that might be of help, just ask!
Thanks guys. | I'm no longer attracted to my SO but a new flame has sprung up. |
t3_o04u7 | AskReddit | How can I "get back" at my neighbor? | So I live in an apartment building where no dogs are allowed. I have a dog (yes I know it's wrong) and I've just been told that management will be sending me a letter telling me that I need to get rid of the dog. No harm, I broke the rules and management is in the right. I am planning on moving anyway in a few months, so my dog will be staying at my in laws until we do move.
Here's the problem, we were ratted out by other tenants who also have dogs and were told by management to get rid of them. We have no quarrel with these people and they also failed to mention about the other tenants in the building that have a dog. The people who ratted us out are friends with the people they failed to mention and they both happen to speak very little English where as I speak absolutely no Spanish. I'd like to think racism isn't in play here but I feel it is.
So how do I "get back" at them in a totally legal way where I can feel vindicated or at least let out my anger? | How do I get "revenge" on neighbors that ratted us out to management because they were being spiteful for no reason? |
t3_33c1wz | relationships | I (f30) just found out that my bf (m29) of 8 months is married and he will be at my house in less than two hours. | I felt like he was hiding something but things were fairly casual at first so I didn't pry. We discussed being in an exclusive relationship a couple months ago and things have been great. I still kind of had a nagging feeling so I did an online search in his hometown and discovered he has marriage license from 2012. He'll be at my house soon and I have no clue what to say. I have never been in this situation before and I'm rather shocked by it. I want to make it clear that I am not in any way okay with being the girl on the side. I do feel the need to confront him though. Any advice would be much appreciated. | Bf is apparently married. I want to confront him but don't know what to say. |
t3_37fyvt | relationships | My [24M] GF [25F] has said she is currently going through personal changes and giving up on us. Dont know how to solve this. | A few weeks ago me and my GF had a really bad weekend that involved us not really feeling like friends let alone a couple. It was all down to me being stressed about a job interview I had and not being myself and we never really recovered from that intial way I reacted to my stress levels. I was a bit cold and distant.
Bit of background..we have been going out about a year now and recently she has moved cities (about an 8 hour drive away). We decided to give long term a go and seemed happy enough with this. She has always been honest with me about commitment and was first to say that she loved me, had asked me to move in with her when our leases were up this summer before she got the job in a different city and then even asked me to move with her...so this is where my job interview was and why I was a little stressed about it.
Since that weekend she has said that we are very different (we are but its never been an issue before and its opened us both up to new things) and all of a sudden she is feeling very overwhelmed and intense about us. I have not changed my attitude or how I act around her at all. So things that I used to do that she liked or found interesting/funny she all of a sudden doesn't. She has said hopefully things will sort themselves out but its been 2 weeks now and nothing has changed. I understand it was a shit weekend and that it could raise a concern but not to the point that she has been cold and distant for this long.
What do i do?! I dont wanna lose her but I feel like she is just hoping time will sort it rather than thinking of why she is feeling like this and how it can be helped. | Had a weird weekend with my gf and now she is overwhelmed and distant and doesn't know how to fix it |
t3_mgc7h | dating_advice | How do I tell a guy that I am not very experienced? (19/F) | Here's the story: I have never had a relationship and have only had sex once. He's older than me and has had serious relationships and is generally much more experienced than I am. We've been seeing each other for a few weeks and he is great and thinks I'm great and blahblahblah life is grand. We've recently been taking things a little further, but we've stopped short of having sex.
The problem is that I think he thinks I am more experienced than I am. I often talk as though I'm more worldly than I really am (not to mislead him, that's just always been how I talk), we've done other things, and when he talks about when we do have sex in the near future, I just smile or laugh because I don't know what to do or say
I feel like I've already told a lie of omission by letting him think that I've done a lot more than I have, and I feel as though it's dishonest not to tell him that I'm so inexperienced. I like him, and I want to have sex with him, but I don't want him to wonder why I look like I'm in pain or why I don't know what I'm doing. But I'm also scared that if I tell him, he'll lose interest, or think I'm a baby, or be angry that I didn't tell him sooner.
Some of my friends tell me just to tell him, because he's a great guy and he'll be fine with it. One friend told me not to tell him at all, because it's not a big deal. Is it not a big deal? And if it is, how am I supposed to approach this?
Throwaway account just in case. Thanks in advance for your help, and please let me know if there's a more appropriate subreddit for this question! | Guy thinks I'm experienced, I'm not, what do I say? |
t3_2ivnfn | relationships | I [22/M] can't get over my ex's [20/F] past sexual partners. | Okay, so I know I'm in the wrong here, but for some reason I just can't let this go.
At my age I am aware that most everyone I could be in a relationship has already had multiple sexual partners, and I'm okay with that. For the most part.
See, it isn't all of my SO's past partners that bother me. She has had a total of 5, including me, and two of them were when she was in committed relationships. The two from when she were in relationships I couldn't care less about. It's the other two that bother me, and I just don't know why.
She was in a 2 year relationship which ended in her ex boyfriend leaving her for another girl. After this relationship ended, in the span of a month or two after the breakup, she went and slept with a guy from her school because "she wanted to", and then (on a separate occasion) went out and got drunk with the sole intention of sleeping with "whoever the fuck she wanted" and slept with a random guy she had just met that night.
Honestly, I don't know why this bothers me, but it does. It gets under my skin so badly. It has even gotten to the point where when we have sex I'll be wondering if she enjoys it as much with me as she did with that random guy. I'll wonder if she made the same noises, or faces, and it's really a turn off and hard for me to actually get into it.
I should mention that all of this happened before she even met me and that she has been faithful throughout our relationship. I guess just for some reason I wish sex was special to her, like it is to me, and that we could share that bond. I don't know guys. I just really need someone to tell me that I'm in the wrong and give me guidance on how to accept her past, even if it's a past that I'm not fond of at all. It's really affecting our relationship and I need help getting past this. | Can't get over ex's past one night stands, don't know why, need guidance. |
t3_1iy0v2 | relationships | Me[25F] confused with a [27M] unsure on how to proceed? | I started casually seeing a guy, about 6 weeks ago, both agreed it was casual, not a relationship
Guy kept asking me if I had feelings for him (every time we saw each other), I repeatedly said no, he suggested we see each other not just for sex but just hanging out (movies etc.) never actually ended up doing this.
Started having feelings, I suggested we hang out properly, guy asked me if I had feelings again, confirmed that I had a "crush" guy said he didn't want to hurt me I said don't worry about it, I would still like to keep things casual. He seems to be avoiding me now.
What should I do? I assumed he had feelings for me because he asked me all the time about how I felt, but now it seems like he doesn't even want to see me at all, I feel a bit stupid and am unsure as to why he would keep asking me if he didn't want something more? | seeing someone casually, feel like we could have something more but keep getting mixed messages, help? |
t3_3hdpwl | relationships | Me [22 F] and my partner [24 M] broke up and it's my fault - help | i just want to know how to deal with a break up especially when you know it's your fault.
i was dating this guy for about two years and even though we were really close and best friends something about it just wasn't working and now it's over. i lost him.
he's hurt and so am i. i wanted to work on it more and tell him i'll change but he's done. i don't know what to do, if i should try to prove to him i am willing to change and work on it and just let him have his space or if i should just let it go and try to move on.
and how? how do you do that when you know its your fault its over in the first place? | how do you cope with a break up that is your fault? |
t3_3jki9h | tifu | TIFU by using my asthma inhaler | I use my asthma inhaler about once or twice a day. I have done this for my whole, so I am used to feeling short of breath and taking a puff - it is a normal, almost unconscious action. It is not uncommon for dust or debris to collect in the inhaler and get blown into my mouth, but usually it is small and inconsequential. Every now and then it might be enough to make me cough and splutter, and I sometimes take the time to check or clear the inhaler before I use it. Today was not one of those days. I felt short of breath and reached for my inhaler. I pumped the top, inhaled sharply, and felt something lodge in the back of my throat. My wind pipe was blocked, and I couldn't breath. After what seemed like an hour, I managed to cough up the blockage into the kitchen sink. After I got my breath back and my eyes stopped watering, I looked to see what had fallen into my inhaler and nearly choked me. Turns out a spider had crawled into my inhaler when I wasn't looking. | Took a puff of my asthma inhaler, choked on a spider. |
t3_4chbwp | relationships | Should I [m21] tell my girlfriend [20] of 7 months that I love her? | I have been dating this girl for about 7 months. We have had an amazing time and I felt like I was in love with her a few months ago.
We recently got back together after a short separation (about 2 weeks)
The separation was for very stupid reasons brought on by me.
We have since been trying to work things out. We are now both comfortable in the relationship and confident in each other.
Would telling her that I love her be a bad move? I am positive in how I feel, but I am wondering if saying so this soon after a separation would prove to be a mistake on my part. | dating a girl for 7 months. I love her but am worried saying so a few weeks after getting back together is a bad idea |
t3_2ikrom | relationships | Me (23F) with my BF (24M): how to tactfully get him to leave the house? | We've been living together for 10 months now and everything's great! I just have a small issue - he pretty much never leaves the house. We both have full time jobs and friends in the area. At least a couple times a week, I will go out with friends or visit my parents. He, on the other hand, never leaves the house. He's there when I leave and when I come back.
I want to bring this up in a tactful manner, especially because his friends came over last week to watch South Park, and I'm concerned it might become a weekly thing. Not that I would mind all that much, it just would be cool if they could host as his friends live together and then I could also get some me time! | want to tell my bf nicely he should get out of the house once a week so I can be alone in it. |
t3_3hz0yx | relationships | Me [29 M] with my Fiance [27 M] of 6 years (4 years together and 2 years engaged), just ended our relationship and I am looking for advice. | We have been together 6 years. He was cheating on me again, we worked through the first time but this time he practically left everything out for me to find that he was doing it again. When I called him he already knew what I was calling about. I am moving out in the next couple of days but my question is more so of what do I do now? Any advice? I honestly just don't know what to do or how to deal with it. I thought we were going to be fine, get married, everything... I'm sorry if this is so jumbled I'm just not in a good place right now. | Fiance cheated, been together 6 years, I ended it.. where do I go from here? |
t3_3oaizr | tifu | TIFU by hanging a water bottle on steroids. | Today, I went to a store and I found a giant 50 oz Poland Spring water bottle(like a water bottle on steroids). I thought it was pretty neat so I brought it home and I wanted to hang it on the wall somewhere as a neat wall hanging. In order to hang it, I used 3M Dual lock strips (velcro on steroids), and I stuck it into 2 places on the wall. I then mounted the water bottle there. I then mounted 2 other poland spring water bottles (normal size) next to it. The thing is, because the velcro was hanging on the paper part of the water bottle, and the plastic bottom part, it was bound to fall off sooner or later. So, I removed the bottles, and started to remove the velcro strips.
When I removed the first one, the paint came off with it. There was a big spot in the wall where the drywall was exposed. I then looked online, and found that a hair dryer can help. I couldn't use the hair dryer, because my parents were sleeping. I then decided to use a lighter to heat this up.
I kept on heating it up, and I slowly peeled it back, and it seemed to be working! And then, the paint peeled off.
Right now, I don't know what the hell to do. This is actually a brand new home, and I was supposed to be careful. Right now, I have the spot covered with a cooperation/leadership poster which I printed out.
I'm so screwed. | Tried to hang water bottle, screwed myself. |
t3_1xvhtg | loseit | Losing while going to school and working full time? | Hey loseit,
I lost about 40 pounds a while back (which is a lot on my 5'1" frame!), but have unfortunately slowly been gaining back.
I think my main problem right now is that I've changed my schedule to be more "full" by taking 8 (hard) credits and working full time. I feel like I never have "time" to workout and I find myself gorging on whatever food I can get my hands on. So far, I haven't been sacrificing a ton of sleep for exercise- not sure if it's worth it.
If anything, I just want to get back to the 11 pounds smaller I was before I went back to school. | I am super busy and it's making me fat! Anyone have advice? |
t3_1wj08k | personalfinance | PF survey! Tuition:Future Income Guidelines | I think a lot of us can agree that student loan debt can be quite the financial burden for most people in the US. But most people still make the argument that you need some education to ensure proper job security/opportunities. So PF, what's your personal take on the appropriate level of debt to take on based on assumed income potential? Obviously, no debt is best but unlikely unless you have tons of scholarships or awesome parents.
Some examples from my own life (and again, not giving gleaming examples of perfection here, but realistic in this current market). My sister has 4 years of undergrad education for psychology (total debt 100K and graduated 2000) and started making 28K in HR, now makes 37K. Luckily, her husband makes good money so she has paid off her debt. I would assume now that same degree from that same school would be closer to 200K of debt, and starting salary maybe 30K and I would say her job has medium security. So for her things worked out, but I would say in current day market, 200K of debt for 30K income is a pretty risky bet.
I'll use my own field for example, though I believe MD training would be similar. The average for 4 years of dental education (not including 4 years undergrad) is approximately 180K to 400K (yes that's a big range, but it depends if you go private vs state). The initial earning potential for new dentists is anywhere from 80K to 120K, but after a few years one could bump that up to 200K. So in my case, my total debt (grad + undergrad) was 400K of debt. I made 50K in residency then 100K my first few years, then I have slowly bumped up. So 400K of debt for 100K with great job security and potential continual bump up. It's not dire by any means but a 4:1 of debt is not great.
Personally, probably a 2:1 ratio is the most I'd recommend now (I know, hindsight is 50/50). And again, obviously job security and potential growth are factors. But just interested in any other thoughts from the hivemind. | With crazy tuition increases and stagnant salaries, what's your guidelines for student tuition:initial income ratio? |
t3_1bxzxt | relationships | Do I (28) tell my friend (24) his wife (24) is looking to cheat on him? | Hi people,
Okay, here's the situation (names are all changed).
I have a friend called "Paul". Paul often likes to tell me stories about his sex life and any recent conquests he's managed. Today he was telling me a story about a girl he met on Saturday. He was in a club and this girl came up to him, very drunk and spent a good few hours with him groping, flirting and being pretty heavy with him. This girl stopped short of actually going anything sexual with him, including kissing. Since then he and her have been texting each other about meeting up soon and carrying on their fun and games.
Paul was boasting about it because she is a "milf with 2 kids". He then told me she was a young mum (24) and that her name was "Lucy". I put 2+2 together, realizing I knew a 24 year old mum of 2 called Lucy. I got Facebook up and asked him if the Lucy I knew was indeed the same Lucy. He confirmed she was.
My problem is Lucy is the wife of another friend of mine called Phil. Phil is a gentle, loving, friendly bloke. He's down to Earth, hard working (he's a bin man) and a real family man. He would never suspect Lucy of doing anything as she always comes across as loving to him.
What do I do? Phil and Paul don't know each other. I've told Paul he'd be best to avoid Lucy and not get involved. I'm not great friends with Phil, certainly not friendly enough to just sit him and down and tell him what I know, but at the same time, he and his kids don't deserve to be hurt. | Friend A hooked up with Friend B's wife the other night. Do I tell friend B what a cheating whore his wife is? |
t3_50fmzi | relationships | My (32/m) wife (32/f) complains about her job and wants me to tell her it's okay to quit, but I'm not going to, how do I handle this? | My wife (teacher) constantly complains about how she can't stand her job, the kids are disrespectful, etc. and how much she hates it. I know my wife, and I know she wants me to say "sweetie why don't you just quit?" But I'm not going to say that under any circumstances.
However, I did tell her that I will support her leaving if she has a backup job or if she decides to go back to school (that will help advance her career). I also said that I would pay for her schooling.
Her response is that she does not want to go back to school.
It's getting to the point where she talks about how much she hates work everyday. It completely ruins the end of the day, as half the time it ends in her crying. I'm not sure what to do. | Wife hates her job and wants me to tell her to quit. I'm not going to tell her to quit, but I also don't know what to do. |
t3_desjx | AskReddit | Reddit, My friend has been working towards this project his whole life and is now becoming a reality. This could really change America, Please give us your advice. | [Turbovote video](
I am an artist who helped make the video for this project. This is a serious, nonprofit project, from an individual who would like to make voting easier. Ideally this would make democracy work on the local level in America. We're trying to make voting easier by using already existing absentee ballot system (e.g. as easy as sending and receiveing netflix).
[Relatively few people vote in local and primary elections] ( [Voter turnout low in Maryland Primary] [Clerks Predict 20% Voter Turnout in Mass. Primary] and this needs to be addressed. We are already working on adding election dates and candidate info from around the country to the website so it is easily accessible to everyone.
This the first step in a huge project; we've already coordined with many states. This can happen in america, democracy has to enter the age we all live in and our generation can do it. This is the real change we can take credit for. We are trying to promote this kickstarter project as much as possible and would appreciate any advice or feedback. TurboVote has launched its pilot, which is available to all BU students and those who make pledges of $25 or more on Kickstarter. We are already reaching thousands of people, but we need to meet the Kickstarter goal to reach the millions that deserve to vote this easily.
Please, tell me what you think. Donations are appreciated, but not neccesary. Thanks. | Please check out [Turbovote video] and provide feedback. |
t3_det6v | AskReddit | Showing signs of Jaundice... new health insurance does not kick in for 9 days! What to do? | Had some abdominal pain a few nights back... woke me up... it sucked. Went away and I was feeling great most the day until lots of stomach 'uneasiness' set in occasionally with some mild pain. My days have been the same wake up feeling great, 100% normal and then progress towards a cramping upset stomach in the evening only to wake up feeling great again.
Then last night my piss tured bright yellow almost orange, and my eyes are a little yellowish. (some kind of bile blockage or hepatitis, right? ffffffuuuuuuuuuu!)
Here is the kicker... Iama IDIOT and let my old health insurance lapse and my new insurance coverage doesn't start until Sept 25th... wtf do I do? I think i'd probably be fine affording regular doctors visit and meds but if they have to take out my gallbladder... uhhhgg!
I don't feel great but I think I could wait it out... is this an even more idiotic idea?
Other symptoms/lack of symptoms:
Not dizzy
Temp is 97.7 and around there the whole time
Funny taste in mouth (from the bile in my mouth)
29 years 170lbs
I dont feel like im dying... i actually feel pretty ok. | Got real signs of Jaundice, (could be galbladder, hepatitis, cancer, etc) Health coverage doesn't start for 9 days... wtf do i do???? |
t3_2rjefk | relationships | How to keep my cool when I'm excited about dating a new guy | I'm 27F and I've been dating a great guy (28M) for a couple weeks now. Things are going great, it really seems like we get along great, have good chemistry, and like each other. My only problem is I'm so excited at the prospect of things working out with him that I'm finding it hard to focus on other things, and I find myself over analyzing things, worrying that things might not work.
I want to be able to just enjoy the moment and be patient to see where it goes before I start getting too attached and expecting things to get serious right away. Any tips or advice? | I'm looking for advice to stop over analyzing a new dating relationship. |
t3_3pd9yk | relationships | Me [23 M], struggling between staying single or getting back with girlfriend | - Here is a link to back story.
Basically I broke up with my ex over the summer because she always threw all of her problems on me, talked about guys she had sex with when she originally broke up with me to make me jealous, etc. It was a pretty toxic relationship.
Now we've been talking again for about a month or so and she seems to have changed. No displaced anger, no jealousy, nothing. It fact, the relationship is pretty laid back, something I always wanted to begin with. The only problem is, I am questioning whether or not I want to be with he now. She hurt me a lot in the past, and now I'm wondering if I should just be on my own and focus on myself. I know I'd be completely okay if we broke up, and I being in a relationship isn't really that important to me at this point my my life. My goals are more focuses on getting into finishing school, applying to grad school, and possibly applying to the peace corps. However, I don't feel like she's done anything since talking together that makes it a bad relationship, so I am conflicted. | Was with girlfriend, broke up after a lot of drama. We've been talking again, don't know if I want to be back with her or be on my own. Help. |
t3_t5tnu | AskReddit | What's most awkward situation that that you have had between you and your boss? | In the morning today, my boss was telling me that his computer was running slow last night and he wants me to fix it. I suggested a virus check (Microsoft Security Essentials) and he asked me to do it for him.
It ran in the background for 20-40 minutes and he tells me it's finished, so I go over to see that MSE was "red" and it had 3 "viruses." I checked the details and all of them say "Pornpop" or "Porn Popup."
After the brief silence, he asks, "Can you please wipe my computer of any *viruses* and history for the past day?"
I told him that I would and it would take a while. (Even though I know it only takes a couple seconds.) I checked his history and he's into the weirdest crap. | I checked my boss's computer for anti-virus and he's been looking at porn in which multiple males climax on a girl's face. |
t3_135vue | jobs | Currently unemployed. Job offer while scheduling 2nd round with other company. Best option? | I have been networking and trying to get interviews with company A for 3 months. I finally got interviewed a month ago and they are scheduling me for a second round. I have been continually job hunting for the past 5 months. I recently was interviewed and offered a lesser position with company B but still decent pay and interesting enough. I told company A and they said they would try to speed up their interview process because they are very interested in me. They said the second round is more of a formality but it is with the department manager who has a final say (so could still say no). I am trying to negotiate an extension with company B to wait a week to give them an answer. If they put their foot down should I tell company B yes now and not tell them I'm going to continue interviewing and if company A says yes then reject B. Neither job will start before December. Company A is my first choice and are also giving me a strong impression that I am their first choice also. | been unemployed, don't want to end up saying no and not getting another offer but also on the fence about misleading one company with the possibility of changing my mind. |
t3_2b19b9 | tifu | Tifu by going to Waterpark in rainy season with Hangover | I am 22 m we planned for a Waterpark trip this Sunday and as my friends stayed far from the water park we planned to have a night out at my house at Saturday Luckily my mom. and dad went for a trip out of station so we decibels to have a booze at night so 4 friends brought too much booze hoping that would suffice our needs it was fun couple of friends including me had a really bad hangover following morning and my house was a total mess like hell. So we cleaned it up and straight catched a ferry to Waterpark (it's kinda located on a Island)
and we fucked up people still having a hangover but the fun part comes now we directly went to wave pool even though I don't know swimming I stupidity went to deeper and deeper side of pool drinking fucking chlorine water and piss probably as every one was bit fucked up everyone was enjoying. My friends who was a good Swimmer started giving me Swimming lessons and started showing me how to back float never I my life time I understood the concept of back floating so I tried and I succeed Fuck man!!! There are many cases were I was almost drowned luckily as it was crowded luckily I got support here and there and was saved
Never I had imagined that hangover could me so much worse we only had couple of hours of sleep
Now I completely fucked up bed resting couple of days | Went for a Waterpark almost getting drowned from last night's Hangover |
t3_26zs3p | relationships | Me [21/F] & my bf [25/M] dealing with checkered past | I finally created an account, and it's a throwaway for this purpose of making this post because I tend to keep things very much to myself. I'm extremely private, but I'm at a crossroads and felt ya'll might be able to give me some perspective.
We've been together almost 1.5 years. Have a child together. And, it recently came to my attention that he was cheating on me in the beginning of our relationship, and even after I found out I was pregnant, with his ex girlfriend. I confronted her and she gave me the truth. I forgave her because it's quite a complicated situation. They don't talk/hang out anymore, but I know they were together for quite a long time. Everyone has history, but I mean, she shared with me things that didn't shock me, his cheating/lying past and i know he's continued the lies. But, we have a child together. I know as a mom you have to make sacrifices, and if I have to sacrifice my happiness to keep my child with its father, I'll do that. He makes a great father, just I'm not sure about our future, considering we haven't been together terribly long, and, now this trust thing keeps popping up. I feel I'm putting it on the back burner and not wanting to really deal with it and it'll eventually go away, but I know it keeps sneaking up. We overcame this but I don't know what the future holds. | We have a child, and I'm mainly staying for that, hoping our relationship improves over time, yet everything in the back of my mind is saying he really hasn't changed, but I'm just trying to ignore it for my child. |
t3_1faj0b | tifu | TIFU by not thinking clearly | I am refinishing a bench I got from my neighbor's trash (don't judge me). I put stain/poly on the boards for it and then went to wash the brush. For some reason I thought washing the brush bare-handed was a good idea, and proceeded to fan out the brush with my hands under the water. Fuck, sticky hands.
I called my dad, the all-knowing about tools, paint, etc. He told me to grab some mineral spirits and use that on my hands to get the stain/poly off, after laughing at my stupidity. I grabbed a rag and went to walk from the 2nd floor to the basement. Two steps before getting to the 1st floor, I slipped on the stairs and busted my ass. I'm surprised my neighbors didn't hear me scream. I carefully got to the basement and the mineral spirits worked pretty well, so there's that. | got stain/poly on my hands, then fell down the steps. |
t3_fktg8 | relationships | I am a canvasser who wants to ask a donor out. Ethical issues? | I am a university student who works as a canvasser for not for profit organizations. Here's the background:
I was canvassing in a near-by city when I waved down a girl to do my spiel. She immediately stopped for me and we introduced ourselves. We joked about the similarities of our names and then I did my canvassing wrap.
While I was doing that, we talked about school, work and our programs. When I asked if she'd like to be a donor she immediately said yes and signed for the max amount allowable for our age group. Unfortunately the bank wasn't opened for her to get her direct withdrawl information so we called the bank and she waited on the line and on hold for a long time even though she had an exam soon.
I asked if she had plans for valentines and she said she had none and that her boyfriend and her recently broke up and that she'd be spending time at home where she lived alone. She then asks me what I was doing and we joked about eating TV Dinners alone.
Afterwards she stayed to talk to me rather than going directly to her bus stop, and then left when her bus came. I told her to come back to chat if she had time, and she asked how long I'd be here for. I told her and she said she'd probably be back before then. I never saw her again that day, but my supervisor also moved me to a new location across the street.
Now here's the moral and ethical dilemma. I want to email her tomorrow on Valentines day and wish her a good one and to thank her for making my day. Unfortunately, technically she never gave me her email, but rather the form which she was filling out. Would it be unethical to email her with that information? Would it also be too creepy? My work does a phone follow up on all new donors to get a confirmation. Part of my hesitation is if she gets too creeped out and tells the operator which would most likely end in my termination.
I was hoping that if she'd receive it well, I'd then ask her out this Friday when I'm back in that city to canvass. | I am a canvasser and I want to ask a donor out. I thought we had a good connection but is not sure how she would receive me contacting her using information she technically gave to a form. Is it unethical and how would you receive it? |
t3_19r28c | AskReddit | I quit my job and now they're nagging me to reconsider... what do!? | Details: I've been working at a place for almost a year, now I'm approaching graduation and some better opportunities have come knocking on my door. I took a company up on one such opportunity, and today I stopped in at my old work to talk to my boss and quit.
I told him the switch was going to be better for my career and a better opportunity for me especially because I am now planning on moving cities within the next year (current job was local only). They said I should think about reconsidering, blah blah blah... I completely 100% do not want to go back to the old job.
I offered to stay on part time (literally 1 day a week) for a few more weeks, and surprisingly they took me up on it. I know when I go in this week they're gonna sit me down and talk to me about the whole situation, and I'm really really not looking forward to it. What should I say to make it clear that I am not entertaining the thought of un-quitting, to get them off my case? | My boss is acting like he just got dumped and wants me back. How do I ward him off during my few final shifts? |
t3_3vf6b4 | relationships | I (25f) gave my friend(23f) "advice". Now her bf (27?M) is pissy at me. | So Gretel is pregnant and in a 6mth relationship with Hansel. We have been satellite friends for about 1.5 yrs. Yesterday, she was mostly just venting/talking about it, and she asked what would I do.
I was like, uhh I'm lesbian, and we don't accidentally get pregnant. When we do breed(lol), it's a hassle to get the logistics in order. I thought we could leave it at that.
But later she kept on pushing and I told her that if I was surprise pregnant, I would have been raped and I would abort ASAP. And I stressed that I was the wrong person to ask.
So Hansel, her bf, texted me this morning(4am), basically saying why would I want to kill his baby, that I've always hated him. That I'm trying to break them up. Oh, and I'm trying to convince Gretel that she was raped?
I sent her the texts, was like I don't know if a 'miscommunication' happened or he's fucking crazy and this will be the father of your child. wtf dude? Told him to fuck off, and her to leave me out her shit from now on.
Now I'm hearing from other friends about it. It's to the point I have the explanation copied and ready to go. They get it, thankfully, and know I don't do shit like that.
She hasn't responded to me, so I'm sitting here feeling like she just said "Punchmeinthefaceplz thinks we should abort" and threw me under the bus.
What the fuck relationships? Should I have not said anything? Just be like I'm gay and run away? Do I handle Hansel or do I wait it out>? | Friend fell prgnant asked for advice. I'm gay and If I am pregnant, I either meticulously planned it and would obviously keep it or was raped and would abort. Told friend I wasn't right person to ask about this MULTIPLE TIMES and now her bf is losing his mind. |
t3_1f02qv | AskReddit | How to deal with my scumbag neighbors? | My neighbors have become a real problem for me lately. They have giant dogs who they let out and let them run around our front yards all the time, and they end up shitting all over my front lawn. They never clean up their front yard (or backyard) and leave trash and discarded toys all over. Our front yards aren't seperated by any kind of fence so there's no keeping them out. I try really hard to keep my front yard clean and they are just complete slobs who ruin all my hard work. I've tried cleaning up the dog crap from my lawn and putting it on their front step in a bag and they just ignored it (and then eventually tossed the bag into their front garden) How can I get through to my neighbors? I don't really care all that much about my relationship with them, they are just assholes and have shot down every attempt I've made to be friendly with them anyways. I've left them a note about it but I don't think they read it, or maybe they ignored it. | asshole neighbors are slobs, their dogs shit all over my lawn and they leave garbage everywhere, want to get a little revenge |
t3_3jes0c | tifu | TIFU by not realizing how thin my office walls are. | I am a personal trainer at a large gym. I was sitting in my office with a buddy of mine who used to work here (and still comes here to workout). We have an incredibly naive and annoying woman who works in sales at our club. He and I were discussing some of the idiotic things she has said, such as: "The Spanish Inquisition is running our schools. They are a branch of the Illuminati." Now, idk what the fuck that means, but I love it. Anyways, we ended the conversation with Jake saying "*Woman's Name* is such a fuckin idiot." We looked out my office window to see her glaring at us from the lobby, along with several dumbfounded looking club members. | Buddy and I called a co-worker "a fuckin idiot" from the safety of my office. Turns out the walls are about as soundproof as a sheet of paper. |
t3_2prc8w | relationships | I [25 M] Cant get over a long forgotten breakup [25 F] | This is my last resort at getting some help. Maybe a nice honest rant is what I need now.
My ex and I broke up just over 2 years ago after dating for just over one year. (lets call her Candy) It was a pretty messy break-up. We were just drifting apart and she ended it. I wanted it to end at the time and as we talked post break up well relations went soar, mean things were said and we stopped talking. No Facebook, No texting.
I started seeing new women right away, I had a lot of fun. Whenever I stopped seeing the new women I would feel sad for a normal amount of time. But instantly as I got over them, I would miss Candy all over again.
I did therapy, mediation, distraction. I have lots of hobbies now and more friends that I hang out with than ever before. My life is really on an up swing and has been since we broke up, and still she is on my mind.
I don't even know what I want from her, I just want to talk but I know that only bad things could come from that. I am to vulnerable about her and she could flatten me with just a few words. What can I do reddit? | Broke up with girl 2 years ago, dated a lot since, way better life. Still it haunts me. |
t3_ep0pe | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, THREE of my ex-girlfriends are sitting less than 25 feet away from me. What do I do? | I haven't seen or talked to them in years, and two of them are sitting together (They apparently became friends after) the other is at a separate table. If I leave before them, I'm afraid one of them will see me. The break-ups were not mutual. All of them were my idea. One was because I was smoking pot while she was doing cocaine, but I refused to each time. The other two were more because of my atheism than my pot smoking. They kept trying to convert me and take me to church with them; but I refused. Needless to say, they didn't end well.
All three of them didn't want me to break up with them, and I received texts and facebook messages from them for months after. | 3 ex's in the same building as me, none ended well, only one exit and I have to walk by them to get to it. Please advise. I'm already shielding my face with a hood and my laptop. |
t3_1o78kd | relationship_advice | Me [20/F] don't know what to do with [20/M] bf | BF is 20/M I am 20/F
So on Wednesday I was supposed to meet BF at a school informational thing. I ended up not meeting him no big deal, he goes home to sleep and I go alone. Now I have a problem with social interactions sometimes and on wednesday I could not get myself to go in the info meeting and ask questions, instead I went and hid in the library.
That is when he gets mad at me. Because I have done this before (i.e not getting a hair cut because I am too afraid to call, or taking a driving test because I'm afraid to fail) Usually he gives me a stern talking to making me feel bad by saying things like "If you can't do this then how will you grow up?" "You want to move out of your parents house but if you cant do this then why even bother?", so he did all that again to me and told me to just go home, so I did.
Later that night i text him something quirky and all he can say is "did you really not go?" and I say "I didn't go" he then ignores me. I see him on the street at school and all he does is smirk at me and not say anything to me. I text him all day no reply. I spam him no reply. (we spam each other so I am not being a clinger its just our thing, maybe we are both clingers??)
ANYWAY! Please tell me what to do? trash talk him to make me feel better? Did I do something bad??? | Bf wont talk to me, because I am afraid to do things for myself try to answer questions above? |
t3_3iq7zm | relationships | Found out my [26F] husband [30M] complimented a girl [25-30?F] on Reddit who posts naked photos of herself | Throwaway because my husband knows I browse this subreddit. Apologies for the wall of text!
I've been with my husband for 10 years now (married for 2). We've had our ups and downs, especially since we started dating quite young (both our first serious relationship) and I've had issues with him in the past with him complimenting other women before in unacceptable ways, secretly, etc. as he felt a need to boost his ego. We had worked past them before we got married, and gained a lot of ground in terms of trust.
However recently there's been quite a bit of stress (work from both our ends, family issues, etc). We were a bit distant for a little while a few weeks ago, which we brought up and talked about, and resolved.
But knowing his past, I just couldn't help myself when he went out and left his Reddit account open on the computer, so I snooped a bit. I know this is frowned upon and I try hard to get over any trust issues I have but I just had to make sure (I would also appreciate advice to focus on the issue below).
I don't find very much, but I did find that my husband PM'd a compliment: "you look absolutely stunning!" about 10 days ago to a random girl on Reddit who posted a few naked photos of herself.
She replied with a "thanks" and there was no further dialogue and there aren't any other comments with other girls.
Now, I'm really small chested and petite (about AA cup) and this girl is pretty large (DD+?) but still has quite a slender body, so this kind of irks me.
I was initially going to brush it off but I realised that he also has never called me "stunning". Mostly "pretty, cute, etc" and maybe a rare "beautiful". It really breaks my heart that he would go out of his way to compliment a stranger like this.
But since this is a one off comment, do you think it is harmless? Or not acceptable? Just any insight or advice would be helpful! | My husband complimented a random girl on Reddit who posts naked photos of herself who has a different body type to mine. Not sure how acceptable this is. |
t3_2jxpky | relationships | Me [38 F] with my GF [33 F] 17 years, argument over not defending her. | GF and I went to the doctor's for a check up. We both had appointments. GF was asked by the aide what she was being seen for and says, legs, feet, back due to overuse at work. Aide reiterates, for work? GF says, it's not work related, but I do a lot of heavy lifting and walking for work. Aide goes out and comes back into the room with the billing lady who says the doctor can't treat you for work related issues.
GF gets mad, and I had to leave the room to get a refund on her co-pay, and when I get back, I'm told GF needs to wait in lobby because she was making people uncomfortable, so I told GF she has to wait outside. GF is livid at this point and says she was escorted out (which I didn't see because I was behind closed doors) and felt she was treated like some sort of perpetrator.
I waited 3.5 weeks for the appointment, and needed to get some paperwork signed for work or else I could get in trouble. I agree I messed by not speaking up and saying I want her to stay in the room with me, but GF believes I should have left the office with her. | GF messed up by telling doctor's aide visit was work related issues. She believes I didn't defend her and thinks I am not trustworthy. |
t3_q1wpw | AskReddit | Women of Reddit, please help me with this coming-of-age drama. | My boyfriend and I have been dating for several months, and recently we have decided to take our relationship to the next level. I'm not going to disclose our ages, but we are at or past the age of consent for the state we live in, so that's not an issue.
Please do not comment on this with "oh wait till marriage" or "abstinence all the way" crap. It's going to happen.
We tried having sex a couple of times, and me being a virgin, it hurt. A lot. I'm still not sure if my hymen even broke. So, my question for you women who faced the same problem, is what is the easiest/most painless way to break the hymen and finally rid myself of my virginity? I know it's going to hurt, but I want to make the process as painless as it can possibly be.
I've heard things like to take it slow, nice and easy, or to just jam it in, like ripping a band aid off. So far we've only tried the prior, and I started crying the last time out of stress and pain. Next time we try to do it, we're probably going to do the band aid type thing. But any other suggestions or solutions would be awesome. Thank you so much for your input on this subject. | How do I make my hymen breakage less uncomfortable? |
t3_3fuq2u | relationships | I [18/F] don't have control of my anger and can take it out on my BF [19/M] | So I never really realized I had anger issues until recently. I'm a fairly shy person and don't really open up to people but with my current boyfriend I am extremely close to him and he sees every side of me, especially because he has been living with me for the past month.
I didn't think my anger was any different from others, I guess because I had kept it to myself for so many years, but being around him 24/7 he sees all my outbursts. He's told me that I have some anger issues (not in a mean way, he's very understanding and he just wants to help me). I really don't like being this way because I tend to have bad outbursts over little things and then I can be pretty mean to him and then very apologetic afterwards. I don't like being in this cycle.
For an example and reason why I decided to post on here: About a week ago I lost one of my cartilage earrings (but I didn't have a freak out luckely I just got a little sad) but I found it today and had a lot of trouble putting it in. I dropped it while leaning over a dresser with lots of stuff on it, it made me a little panicked because I could not find it. My boyfriend tried to help me but I started getting snappy at him and when I spotted it on the floor I nudged him out of the way. But it didn't stop there, when I got the hoop in my ear I was having so much trouble screwing the tiny ball onto the end of it. Again he tried to help and I started talking to him like a child almost. He got it in for me and as thankful as I was I was still a little frustrated that I couldn't do it myself.
I really want to change and be able to control my anger, my boyfriend also really wants to help me but we're unsure what to do. If you guys have any suggestions or anything that could help it's greatly appreciated. | I need help controlling my anger and not taking it out on my boyfriend. |
t3_4igbyr | relationships | Me [15M] is my sister [26F] being unreasonable | So I am living with my sister, my dad was deemed an unfit parent or something to that effect and my sister is now technically my legal guardian. Well she almost my legal guardian, like right near the finish line, but I live with her.
I don't know what happened but my sister said " I don't want our pathetic excuse for a father anywhere near you" No one will tell me what exactly happened. The story keeps changing
She has a girlfriend, my sister is gay. But both of them don't treat me like a little brother anymore. I have known her girlfriend for 10 years. They are not fun anymore, they treat me like I am their child or something. My sister always use let me do things, now she is putting her foot down.
When she went to the Iowa state university, she would Skype with me often. Just to catch up, she would always encourage me to try new things like football.
Now that I live with her I am not allowed to play football anymore. Her and her partner think it's too "dangerous". I had a girl over the other day to do homework, I am not allowed to close my bedroom door when she is here.
She freaks out when I do not text her if I am running late from school or, if I go out with friends after school Dad never use to mind, but she freaks out like I have been abducted or something. We live in a posh arena, nothing bad will happen
Is my sister and her partner being unreasonable? or am I just being a brat? | I feel like my sister is being unreasonable with some of the rules she put in place. Is she |
t3_45a964 | relationships | I [25M] am starting to feel bored of marriage[3 years]. How do I make it exciting again? | I am a 25 year old male married to a 25 year old female. We have been married for 3.5 years, have no kids and one dog.
I love my wife very much and she is my best friend, but lately I have been missing that rush and excitement of dating. I know that I am romanticizing dating, but it had been so long since I have felt such a powerful emotion like that fire when you first kiss someone new, or the electricity of texting someone you are interested in.
That being said, I don't want to get a divorce or anything, so how do I make married life more exciting? | Been married 3.5 years, starting to get bored. How do I make it exciting again? |
t3_3xqir0 | relationships | I (18m) feel like I want to ask my friend of a year (19f) out but don't know if I should. | Some background to help, I've known this girl for about a year now and at first we were just friends, however we are really close. If you've ever heard the expression, 'Your friends are the family that you choose', that was our group of friends.
This year she went off to university, and I go to visit her about once a month and it's generally a pretty good time.
Recently our small but close group of friends went out together and stayed out overnight, me and her shared a room while the other two shared another. However on the way to where we were going she broke it too us that she recently broke up with her boyfriend.
I don't know why I keep thinking that we should go out together but I do, I don't want to make her think that I'm trying to take advantage of her or make things weird if she says 'no', all I want is for her to be happy... I don't know I can do that but I want to try.
To top it all off I feel like if I ask and if she says 'yes' I'll be tying her down through university.
So the crux of my question is should I ask her and how? | I have feelings for a close friend and am not sure whether or not to tell her / ask her out. |
t3_29q81s | jobs | Quarter life crisis? Its complicated.. | I live in a smaller country in central Europe and working as a sort of "project manager" (thats what is on my card anyway), but I rarely ever manage anything.. Since my only direct boss is the head of the company, I do all sort of work for him, but I rarely get any consultation time or any sort of feedback. He just wants things done as soon as possible without me bothering him about details, but he's also kind of a control freak, so nothing can get pass without his stamp of approval.
Ok that was a bit of a rant, I guess the job has its positives too - some days are not as busy, I rarely have to work overtime etc. On a busy day though, it can be very draining. Usually when you work a lot, you want to see some kind of result, but that is not whats happening here. I don't see any prospect in this job, even though the business idea of what we're doing seems promising, its just simply not enough for me - I need some sort of guarantee or progress. Also, the pay is low and I didn't get a raise almost for 2 years (since I am employed here).
My dream is to quit my job and work for myself one day. But how can I? My GF doesn't have a job, couse she just moved in the country and we're expecting a baby. My hobbies and real interest are totally different from what I am doing and what I studied (law). I like art, music, video games, graphics, writing (english isn't my native language, in case you're wondering). The problem is, I am not good at any of those things and related jobs seems impossible to land. When it comes to starting my own business, I just feel like I am too broke to start anything. Besides, I don't have that genius idea that I could start building upon. I just have my interests and a dream to be 'free' one day, but it doesn't seem to be happening any time soon. | I feel stuck in a job that is draining me, significantly different from what I'd love doing for a living. Not sure what to do next, as I can't simply quit and hope for the best. |
t3_jntql | AskReddit | What do you do when things are all-around just... not making you happy? | I'm 25 and live at home with my parents. I cannot afford to move out right now, nor will I in the near-future. I am going to start school in January, after not being in any form of school for 7 years ( went to college for one semester, dropped out because I didn't want to rack up loans for college when i didn't know what i wanted to do with my life) School will take at /least/ 3 years. my mother is an undiagnosed hoarder/bipolar terror to live with. My father is really chill, so i'm lucky on that front. i don't really go out or see any of my 'friends' very often, if at all. They are all slowly moving away. They don't talk to me much anymore, anyways. I don't know what I did. I'm trying to save a butt-ton of money for my future, whatever that may be, and that's alright , but going along slowly.
But sometimes, it's just depressing. I feel like I should be moved out by this age, but It can't happen for me at this juncture in time, so I feel like a failure because I live with my parents, at a dead end job, and am just going to be starting college as a freshman when i'm nearly 26. Everyone else I know has done the college thing, and is doing the move out thing and I feel like i'm stuck because I make shit at the job i've held for near 7 years and just can't afford to do the same as them. | Feel like a failure, any insight/anyone going through something similar? |
t3_3gfdn2 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] 2 years, feel like I stepped out of line with an ex girlfriend [21 F] today | I've been seeing this girl for a while now, and we have a very solid relationship- we like each other a lot, and we care for each other a lot. She's been away for a couple of months of vacation now, and today I went out with an ex-girlfriend (old friend of mine) to grab some lunch. I told my girlfriend beforehand and I went to have dinner with the ex before and everything was fine.
Today, however, it was very flirty and even though nothing really happened, I still feel as though I was emotionally cheating. She put her head on my shoulder at one point but it was very brief and I moved away, and we (sort of) held hands for a second as well. I feel like it is nothing substantial that I would say, but it definitely didn't feel like something purely platonic friends would do and I know I would be upset about it.
I think it bothers me because I know that even though nothing happened, I explained to the ex girlfriend I am in a happy relationship and I would never cheat, I was attracted to her and I did want to do something. I am not sure what I should do- I won't be seeing the ex girlfriend again, of course, and I will avoid any situations like that in the future. I just don't want to tell her if it's only to make myself feel better; that seems a little selfish to me. | met ex girlfriend, flirted a little, felt uncomfortable because I felt like I was tempted, not sure what to do?? |
t3_1vs5or | relationships | My girlfriend [24 F] doesn't post pictures of me/us (24 M) on Instagram | I'm going to say upfront that this isn't a huge issue or a big deal at all, but it's jus a little annoying.
I've been dating this girl for about 3-4 months now (we've vaguely known each other for several years since we went to college together but weren't close then). I know she's committed and is faithful/interested in me and have no doubts about that. Perhaps it's because of my generation and how everyone is hooked on social media and Instagram, etc, but she doesn't post any pictures of us on there which annoys me at times. I haven't brought it up since it's not a huge issue and don't feel like pressuring her to do anything she's not comfortable with. She has old pictures on there from when she was dating her ex-bf (not recent pics, only pics posted when they were together).
I'm thinking maybe she's just taking it slow and doesn't want to publicize too much so early as we do have a lot of friends in common because we went to college together. She does however introduce me to all her closet friends and I'm meeting some her family and her dad when they come into town over the next couple months (they live in a different state).
Am I just over analyzing this? And to be fair and clear, I haven't posted any pictures either. | GF of 3-4 months doesn't post pics of us on her Instagram. Am I just being crazy? |
t3_1o7ecc | jobs | Don't know what I am doing wrong - depressed T_T | Just graduated from one of the top schools in Canada with possibly a useless degree - political science and history - I know T_T. I have been applying for jobs for months, and though I have a very good GPA, I have not been able to find a job. My strategy consists of searching regular sites, linked.in, Indeed.ca, or elsewhere in order to find a job. I then tailor my cover letter and send my my resume. So far I have gotten only a few interviews. I dunno what is with Canada, they expect new university graduates to have ready made experience under their belt -_-. | Sorry for the pity party, but I don't know what I should do. |
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