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t3_3f3leb | tifu | TIFU by never getting angry | This happened 2 or 3 months ago but I just now have been able to write about it. Growing up I was always really good at calming myself and keeping myself level headed, so I never really experienced what it felt like to be truly angry. Fast forward to a 19 year old broken hearted me. It started off a good night, hanging out with some friends, cooking some hamburgers, drinking some good ol' natty, when out of the blue my ex girlfriend showed up. At first I payed no attention, "It's fine, I don't want to make things weird, I'll let her be," I said to myself, and that's how it was for a bit. Hours passed by and after having to witness her and some guy flirt the entire night, something inside of me snapped. The fiery volcanoes of hell erupted through my veins, the kraken had been released from deep inside of me. There was nothing in the world I wanted more at the time to give the guy a quick destructo disk to the face. My friend seeing my new found rage took me outside to calm me down, but not knowing how to deal with this new emotional I did the only thing I could do. I ran into the middle of a field, dropped to my knees, and with a Godzilla like shriek, i unleashed a quick right and left jab unto the ground.
I broke both my hands and glass and just now got off dual casts.
Made that patch of ground my bitch tho. | Got angry, punched the ground, broke both hands. |
t3_3i9894 | tifu | TIFU by assisting a nasty old woman in publicly shaming a disabled boy. | First off I'd like to say that I did not do this willingly and I am sickened by this woman's actions and the fact she involved me in it in the tiniest way. This happened earlier today while I was at work in a sweet shop, it really upset me and I feel badly sorry for her grandchild / whoever this kid she was looking after was.
She came in asking whether we had any sugar dummies, I got one for her and held it up like she asked so this mentally disabled boy sitting on the bench could see it, I stood there smiling at him holding this sweet up like I often do for other people who like to see what we have for them, he was a little shy, but everything seemed ok. Then she said something along the lines of "You see this? This is a Dummy. This goes in your mouth, to keep you quiet" at this point I thought, well thats a bit odd, sometimes people say things like this jokingly and it might be ok depending on their relationship. "And if you keep making that whining noise I'm going to get you one to shut you up". Yeah, she was publicly shaming a disabled boy to teach him a lesson. He wasn't making any noises when he came in, he only started to get upset when she said that. After that she looked at me and said "Ok thanks, I'm not buying it I just had to do that to stop him making that noise, its just been going on all day"
I feel disgusted, I get that you need to discipline and teach children, and that it might be harder if they're disabled in some way, but even if the kid doesn't have difficulties then you do not publicly shame them, and make me a part of it, just to "teach them a lesson". I wish that I knew what she was doing to begin with, I wish that I could've made her understand how disgusting she was acting towards this boy. I hope that this boy has better carers / family members than this bitch. | I thought that I was helping a disabled boy by showing him a "Sugar Dummy", but instead his carer was using it and me as a way to publicly shame him. |
t3_2umk1b | relationships | [26 M] with my French fling [25 F] summer love - Need advice. | I met this French girl who is travelling my country and we met on the vineyard we are both working at. Immediate attraction and after a few weekends of us all socializing, we got together in a very romantic fashion at a waterfall under the stars.. It was amazing. I bet her if we saw a shooting star she'd have to kiss me. From then on we have spent virtually every night together, with the most mind blowing sex I've ever had in my life. Not to sound arrogant at all, but I have been with plenty of girls from all parts of the world and this is like something from another world good. Even the way she touches me after is like we have known each other for a long time and love them dearly.
Sadly as travelers do, they leave. In a week and a half she leaves to do a 2 month trip around the country with her close friend who is already angry at her for staying 2 extra weeks for me. I am staying in the area until when I want. I told her I can wait until she comes back as she wants to work in the Ski resorts in the winter months here and she has told me she wants to be with me but is "unsure" what will happen on her travels and is worried and quite often says, I will "find another girl" to replace her, which I reassure her I just want her.
Basically I'm left in two minds.. I can't forget this girl just like that, but I understand it's only been a shortish amount of time, but we all know that feeling and you can tell in your heart that there's something special here. I have been with travelers before and been one myself, but never have I felt this way and haven't felt this strong about someone in a long time.
What should I do about my situation? Should I just let her go and forget everything, or maintain strong contact and hope she comes back? She has no real plan and has said she would like to travel with me after her friend leaves.
Or any other suggestions/Ideas that could work would be great and advice on how to make things work out or to forget would be great also.
Thanks in advance. | Met a traveller. Strong feelings mutually. She's leaving soon to travel more of the country, but may come back to the same area after her friend leaves (2months). Or try continue what's there. Or just leave it as a beautiful summer memory. Or any other ideas would be great. |
t3_1zyf64 | relationships | Me [24F] with my boyfriend [26M] are in a relationship for almost 2 years. My religious family wants us to get married religiously! | Dear reddit,
Me and my boyfriend are both raised in a religious family. He was raised catholic and I islamic. We both chose to lead our lives the atheist way. And we are happy with that choice :)
One day my stepmom told me that we should get married and become muslim. To which i responded with: Religion is a serious thing. People shouldn't pretend to have a certain faith if their heart doesn't believe. I can't lie to God/family/myself that i do believe, so i refrain myself from doing such.
To me that was the right answer and i hoped that she then would understand. Instead she tried to pitch her religion like a professional
salesman. Telling me: You can just say that you believe. Actually believing and acting on it will come later. If you don't we cannot give you our blessing and he will never be part of us.
After-hand my boyfriend and I talked this over. He told me that he can't imagine that my parents don't care if he is able or not to provide and take care of us. I assured him that my parents don't even care about his personality and only care about religion.
With this all said i don't know what to do. It feels like heavy choice to make. Being "religious", thus lying to myself what is against my personal principles or damaging my relationship with my parents.
Can anyone help me make a well thought choice? Why should I or shouldn't I? I would like to hear other perspectives than my own. | Religious family pressure atheist couple to become religious and get married. Cross own personal principles or damage relationship with family? Please give me your opinion/insight with explanation! |
t3_t0ftb | books | Can you help out with providing an Illinois classroom with new books? | Hi r/books,
I promised myself I'd never ask Reddit for money or charity but I also never thought I'd have a case so close to me that wasn't already extensively funded and announced. I apologize if this is violating any rules but I was really hoping that my fellow redditors could help me out.
Full disclosure ahead of time, this is a friend of mine.
A friend of mine teaches at a small, high-poverty school in Illinois. She is having trouble getting books that her students are actually interested in. While they want to read, they are left without captivating material. I'm sure everyone in this subreddit knows that the more you read, the better you get, and the more you enjoy it but you have to start somewhere.
In order to get her students more into reading, my friend has started a [DonorsChoose] fund to supply her current and future classes with suitable and current reading material. Unfortunately her fund is not even close to completion despite an average, reasonable request and nearly 4 months of funding time.
Unfortunately she didn't tell me about it until just today. I've donated what I can but there's still over $400 dollars to go. Relative to her request of about $550, this seems large but I know Reddit can take care of this in no time if they decide it's a worthy cause.
Here's the link to the fund: [Make Reading Something Exciting!] I'm sure she would appreciate anything you can give (and I'll hand out any upvotes I can give ;) ). Even if you don't donate to hers, please take a look around the site. There are plenty of other projects out there that need help as well.
Thanks for your time.
-Skobe | Teacher needs help buying new books for a high-poverty classroom. Can you donate at: [Make Reading Something Exciting!] Thank you. |
t3_3oeew0 | relationships | Son [35 M] with my father [60 M] has traumatic brain injury, vision loss - planning to fly out of town to buy a motorcycle. | About 9 years ago, my father was in a bad car accident where he was thrown from the vehicle. He was in ICU for 3 weeks, coma for one month total, lost vision in one eye - skull flap, feeding tube, tracheostomy, etc. As a result of his injuries, he lost a walnut-sized piece of his frontal lobe, which impairs his executive functioning / decision making.
He lives nearby, on disability and retirement. He is also alcoholic, obese and diabetic, but lives largely independently. I found out recently he was planning to fly to buy a motorcycle and drive it back home (about 1300 miles). Obviously, I am concerned and have been trying to persuade him against this, as I fully expect him to get into an accident and do not want to go through another avoidable tragedy. Looking for advice on what to do or how I might stop this from happening. | Father with TBI about to do something risky. |
t3_2jqobp | relationships | I [22/M] am interested in a girl [22/F] I met last night at a small party I threw at my apartment. | Me and my roommates had a little party last night (sat around, had drinks, talked, had music). They invited some people over (about 10-12) so everyone was either directly friends or close friends of friends.
I spent most of the party hosing, jumping person to person/mingling making sure everything was good so was generally busy.
Toward the end of the party when things started to settle down (~5 people left) I finally got the chance to talk to people in particular the girl I'm interested in. We were talking for a while, seeming to hit it off then the friend she came with came over and said they were going home. She told them that it is fine and that she was going to stay but then the rest of the people at the party kinda' got the same idea and started rounding up to leave so she did the same. So we walked everyone out, said bye to everyone, about 6 people at this point, and we kinda' held eye contact for a while as she was leaving and said bye.
Today I added her on facebook and have been thinking about sending her a message but am not sure what about. Should I just casually talk to her and ask her how she liked the party? I'd like to meet up with her again to get to talk to her/know her more so how should I go about that? | met a girl at a party but was pretty busy most of the time and would like to get to know her better/trying to figure out what to message her on facebook. |
t3_2iwj8r | relationships | My [20/F] boyfriend[21/M] of two years read all my private Facebook messages. Weird or not? | A few days ago, I gave my boyfriend my Facebook login so that he could look at someone's profile. This person makes their page viewable only to friends, thus why he needed to log in on my account.
Afterwards he started asking me some questions I thought were odd. "Who is this person?" or "Where were you on a certain date a month ago?" I finally asked what he was getting at and he admitted that he had copied all my messages and pasted them into a Word document to read later.
Don't get me wrong: there is nothing in those messages that could be considered offensive. It's just the principle of the thing. I feel like it was sneaky of him to read my conversations with friends and family members.
He never asked for permission or in any way indicated that he was going to read my messages when he got on my Facebook. Nor would he have any reason to be suspicious or think he might find me talking to other guys, saying bad things about him, etc. This is basically the first time he's ever done anything of this nature.
I mentioned it to a few close friends, who all agreed that this was strange and inappropriate behavior. I guess I would just like some unbiased opinions. Did he cross the line or am I just overreacting? | I let my boyfriend log into my Facebook account to view a private profile. Without my knowledge or permission, he copied all my private messages to read later. He had no reason to think he would find anything suspicious-just wanted to snoop. Was this inappropriate behavior on his part or no big deal? |
t3_2dh6ek | relationship_advice | My (24F) boyfriend's (25M) sex drive has become nearly nonexistent | My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years now. Recently he has gone through some changes in his life (new job, more responsibilities, etc.) and I see him much less than I did before. However we still make the time to spend every night together (we live in different houses.)
I am understanding of the fact that with a new job and added responsibilities comes stress, but it has began to take a toll on our sex life. Prior to his new job, we would have sex 3-4 times a week. Of course, having been together for several years now, we have been through sexual lulls in our relationship, though they have never been as bad as this one is. In the past three weeks we have had sex only once or twice, though I attempt to initiate almost every night.
The constant rejection has made an impact on our relationship for the worst, and it is beginning to take a toll on my self-confidence. I have tried talking to him about it, but he swears he is just tired when we get in to bed at night.
I guess my question is- how do I address my concerns to him without being overly critical? I know that sex isn't the most important part of a relationship, but it is important. At least to me. | boyfriend of 2 years has a new job, stress is affecting our sex life. |
t3_wfcvj | AskReddit | So, one of my friends anonymously confessed something to a christian help site, and is being blackmailed. tldr; Need Advice | Throwaway account for obvious reasons. So, one of my friends who is a lurker on reddit, and is in a very sticky situation, and asked me to leave the story a bit vague in fear of anything else happening to him. He is a 17 year old living on the east coast of the US.
Basically, he admitted something horrible he had done in his past around two years ago anonymously, onto a christian website that was for confessions, and having people talk with you (again anonymously) in a thread to sort of help you through them. He's been in a moral battle for quite a while thinking about what he's done and feels horrible, but just had to tell someone what he did. A little later, a radio station tracked his IP back and got his ISP to release personal information. Trust me when I say, he's a good kid at heart, but just made a pretty big mistake.. and even worse by admitting it. Anyway, he received an email containing threats that they will call the police and report him if he doesn't have his parents and/or counselor call them at 7PM EST sharp tomorrow. If his parents/counselor do get involved, there is a high risk of the counselor calling the police, which would ultimately break his family apart. Since it's a radio station, and they want the call at 7PM SHARP, i'm thinking they might try and put some of it actually on the radio, which would ruin his life, and again, tear his family apart. If he tells his parents, equal consequences await. The only way I can think to get out of it has to be to plead with his counselor to keep everything confidential and be understanding, what advice would you offer him in this situation, with hours left before a shitstorm occurs? | Friend confessed to an anonymous christian blog, was tracked via IP, and is now being blackmailed, in a horrible situation. Offer advice! |
t3_ffu4q | relationships | Lying boyfriend, give him the benefit of the doubt? | * | boyfriend caught lying. Try to work it out or just move on? |
t3_2oszvs | relationships | Me [26M] confused about ex [20F] | I have posted about this a couple of times already but more and more keeps happening.
Post 1:
Post 2:
So, we broke up 2 weeks ago. We had only been together 14 weeks but silly as it sounds, we had fallen in love.
We broke up because she needs time to sort out her life. She is suffering from serious anxiety problems and dropped out of University 2 months before I met her. When we broke up, she said it was forever.
Move forward to the past two nights. She stayed over. Both nights. I had mentioned before we broke up that I needed to see her on the Monday as some pretty horrible stuff happened in my past on 8th December. Although we had broken up, she offered to still see me which I accepted. She then asked if she could stay Sunday night, which she did. She also stayed Monday night. We didn't have sex and I am not 100% sure if we would have (she was on her period.) This morning she started crying and said she wasn't sure if she loved me or loved the fact that I loved her. We have not spoken since then as she once again said, "I wanted this to be over two weeks ago."
Now she invited herself to my house, she asked if she could stay BOTH nights. She mentioned she has bought me Christmas presents and wants to give them to me still. I know for a fact she bought these AFTER we broke up. Am I being messed around, is she testing me or does she just have no clue on what she wants?
What should I do? I want her back and to help her through this rough time. | Ex messing with head. Want her back. |
t3_54uh6h | relationships | Me(21F) with my bf(25M) dating 5~months, I might like girls instead but am unsure | So we met on a dating site about 5 months ago and totally hit it off, but due to my waffling in how I feel and being indecisive we were only really half dating the first two months.
We started dating on the understanding that I didn't have much romantic interest in him long term and don't have strong feelings romantically for him. He insisted upon this because I am really emotionally unstable and he's afraid I'll off myself without supervision. So I guess he just wants to be with me because he really likes me? Idk.
So I was forced to do things sexually by a previously good friend and my bf is the first person who I was comfortable with touching me. I was a little bisexual to begin with but this all discourages me from men. Also because of the meds I'm on, I've got a really low sex drive. So basically the sex is meh. Plus hes not into any of the kink things I like. And he was new to sex. So. Yeah.. Pretty unpleasant all together. Ive tried a lot of things to make it better, but its all just meh because, ultimately, I am just not attracted to him physically...
Ive grown pretty fond of him, so I care dearly about his happiness and his mental wellbeing. He is one of my best friends, and one of my only friends in the area I live.
I recently haven't found any sort of attraction to any males. The idea of having sex with any man is gross, so I think I'm gay.... But my bf is someone who I want near me because he's great. He's just the wrong gender I guess.
Wat. Do. | I am dating a guy but think i might solely like grills.. |
t3_3iepqa | tifu | TIFU by searching a quote | Hey, this is actually happening now.
A few months ago I got a friend's phone number. As casual, I look through her profile, just to see the sentence she had as her status (on whatsapp). It was a quote, and I had found it quite beautiful. Anyways, I read it and forgot about it... until today.
I was bored, and remembered the quote. So I told myself: "let's google it, just to see were it came from". I did and the first result was a Tumblr page. "Of course it was going to be Tumblr, she dwells there as I dwell on Reddit". Full of ignorance, I entered that Tumblr page, just to see if I could find the source of the quote.
Well, the profile pic of that Tumblr blog was, of course, a picture of my friend. Curiosity got the worst out of me, so I started going down her page (she had herself as the profile picture, she wanted to be found... right?).
And now I'm writting this, after half an hour of stalking her, loosing precious time for my college assignments, and feeling hollow and highly depressed. Turns out, half her Tumblr reblogs were linked to close-to clinical depression.
It's actually amazing how people can act on the outside (joyful, hopeful and happy), and just be dead inside. I don't spend much time with her nowadays but I hope her friends are making her feel better.
So, the point being: **never google something your friends quoted**. | Decided to search for a sentence my friend quoted. Ended up feeling hopeless after stalking her for half an hour. |
t3_1qg24w | relationship_advice | [26/F] Depression Troubles, Long Distance | Background: The bf and I have been dating for about 6 months now. We live across the United States from each other, but we have so much in common that it makes it worth it. We've seen each other several times and make and effort to see each other at least every month and a half.
He has recently started to feel what seems like pretty severe depression. He feels worthless, like everything he does is a failure, and that nothing matters at all. He has lost the motivation to do much at all, including relationship things. He says he still loves me and wants the relationship so badly, but his depression is dragging him down. He says everything is a struggle for him, even talking to me.
To make matters worse, I wasn't helpful for the first month of this happening at all. I didn't realize he was depressed and we started arguing about why he wasn't behaving like he used to in our relationship: regular conversations, sexting, Skype, and other more personal stuff. It hit me about a month after all this trouble began and I asked him if he was depressed.
He said no at first, but after thinking about it he said he realized he was. It seems to have gotten much worse since then. I feel completely helpless to do anything for him. He isn't going to a therapist for various reasons.
What can I do? Has anyone had experience helping their depressed SO? Is there anything I can do when I'm so far away? I want to be there for him, but it's so hard when I can't be there physically. That, and I'm having trouble coping with his waning communication.
If anyone has any insight or ideas I'd be very grateful. | SO is severely depressed and lives on the other side of the country. We only see each other every two months. Relationship trouble because of lack of motivation. What can I do to help him? |
t3_1h6094 | relationships | I [F45] don't know if I handled this the right way... | I recently found out that I'm pretty sick. The type of cancer that I have means it's not looking good for me, and I have surgery lined up within the next week. After that, a pic line and chemo are next in line. I started seeing a guy [M25] maybe a month or two ago, and I decided to be up front with him and tell him.
He basically told me that he can't handle this, and I gave him the option to walk away because it's not like we've been together for very long. I really thought that he would at least give it some time, but right then he said that he wanted out. I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty shocked. I thought he would wait, and see what my final diagnosis was, and at least offer a little bit of support or something. Now I'm looking at doing this all alone, and I'm absolutely fucking terrified. I can't make him go through this with me, but I feel like that was kind of a dick move. Is there anything I can do? | I have cancer and when I told the guy I'm seeing, he immediately jumped ship. Am I in the wrong here? Should I just let him walk away? I'm kind of pissed off at him for wanting out so quickly. Am I justified? |
t3_11vo4c | relationships | Boyfriend [24m] and I [20x] need advice announcing our engagement? | My boyfriend [24m] of three years/fiance of six months and I [[20x]] were postponing announcing our engagement since one of his cousins was getting married and we didn't want to steal her thunder. Alas, though, the time has arrived to suck it up and tell his family (I'm from a bad family situation and thus not really on good terms with my parents, so we won't be officially informing that side).
So far we've only let slip to one of my close friends, and to his brother. We thought we'd start by telling his parents in person since they live near by (we're both on a college campus about two hours from their house), but I for one am a little nervous about their reactions since we're young and still in school (don't have a date set for a wedding though, and not aiming for one for at least another two years), and also just coming from such a clan of volatile people, I'm in general not used to tactful behavior, and my mind keeps jumping to the worst possible reactions.
The Boyfriend assures me that his parents will be delighted by the news, and I definitely believe him on a logical level, but the illogical part of me is freaking out, and I feel like I need some more 3rd party reassurance. My questions, essentially, are:
**1)** Any tips for what to say and in what setting? I'm horrible with wording things nicely, and even worse if there's a group of people present.
**2)** Is there any legitimate reason I should be concerned about his parents reacting badly? I get along great with his family, and he and I have never yet had any particular relationship problems. (And no, they don't care if I'm a girl or a boy, and yes, our state would let us get legally married.)
**3)** Do you have any encouraging or amusing success stories of your own surrounding engagements/weddings that might sooth a poor paranoid suitor's nerves? | Excessively nervous about getting a bad reaction from fiance's parents over our engagement since my own family is a bunch of douchebags. |
t3_2qvso7 | loseit | How did you push through with no support? | I strongly apologize for the rant!!!!
I have struggled with my weight all my life. I really want to make a change in my life and finally be happy with my health. I'm not a very strong person when it come to taking care of myself. I always put my boyfriend and family first. I would like to do this one thing to make myself happy. When I ask for their support I don't get it. My boyfriend almost just brushes me off about it. How do I push through and do this on my own? I know I must sound like I'm complaining, but I really need help and reddit seems to be the best option right now.
Thank you!!!!!!! | How do I push through and do this on my own? |
t3_4lqo77 | relationship_advice | Never Do Anything | My (F 19) boyfriend (M 19) have I been together for about two years and have an apartment together. We have an odd relationship because we have almost nothing in common. The only similarities are our taste in music, TV shows, and about half of our political views. This sucks because we basically just watch TV all the time. I want to go out and do something, find a hobby, or even just have a picnic once in a while. But he works second shift at a factory so even on weekends he never wants to do anything. He's also very stubborn: he won't sit outside with me because "he doesn't like it" and he'll rarely play board games or anything lazy we could do together. I feel like our lives, and relationship, are wasting away. Advice? | Boyfriend works a lot and doesn't have energy to do anything when we're together. |
t3_4y0tmq | cats | Just adopted a 6 week old farm kitten. Leaving for vacation for 3 weeks- will my baby forget about me? | Hey guys, looking for some advice since I've never owned a cat before. I recently (as in this weekend) adopted a roughly six week old kitten from my aunt and uncles farm. He is such a good little guy and we are already connecting and bonding closely. However, a week from today I am leaving to go on vacation for three weeks so the kitten will be staying at home with my mom, my siblings and my dog. The cat gets along great with everyone and I live at home with them normally, except I am concerned that my leaving for 3 weeks will cause the bond we have developed to deteriorate and instead the kitten will forget about me in favor of my family! Do you have any suggestions or advice on how to handle this situation?
Thank you! | I'm worried that my new kitten will forget about me when I leave for Europe for 3 weeks. |
t3_4au8l7 | relationships | Me [29 F] with my boyfriend [31 M] of 2 years, he re-added his ex on FB after I asked him to delete her | I am good friends with my ex-boyfriend from high school. I realize this is weird and difficult for some people to understand, so I always make sure said ex meets my boyfriends early in the relationship so they understand the platonic nature of our friendship.
When my current boyfriend met my ex, we were visiting the town where my ex lives. Coincidentally, my current boyfriend also has an ex who lives there who he (claims to be) friends with. He asked if it was okay if he invited her to his birthday party. I enthusiastically agreed, as I had always felt it was a bit weird that he claimed they were still friends but they never seemed to talk or communicate the way he does with his other friends, and I thought meeting her would put my mind at ease.
She didn't respond to our invitation and didn't show up.
I felt kind of irritated and personally offended, wondering if there was a reason she didn't want to meet me. He explained that she was just a flakey person. I asked why he would want to be friends with someone like that, especially when they were an ex, and he just said that she didn't mean it in a bad way and that she hadn't "done anything mean to him." That seemed weird to me, and I asked him to delete her from facebook because it made me uncomfortable that he was keeping contacts with exes he clearly wasn't really friends with. It is just something I'm not cool with in relationships. Being friends with an ex is okay, but not if they don't want to meet me. He did it.
A year and a half later, I noticed he re-friended her. How do I bring this up without sounding totally crazy? Am I being overbearing - is this an unreasonable deal-breaker? Should I just leave it? | My boyfriend says he's friends with his ex, but they don't really seem to communicate and she didn't show when we invited her to meet me. He unadded her on facebook at my request, but has now re-added her without saying anything about it. |
t3_4p3hhg | relationship_advice | [15/M] I'm about to be arrested thanks to [47/M] my mom. Please help! | So first here's what actually happened: I was lazy laying on the bed and wanted help up, so I asked my mom. She grabbed my hand, and normally when you help people up, they pull, right? Well, she didn't and when I pulled she fell into the door sort of. She started screaming at me and hit me. She told me to get the fuck out and then locked herself in the room. I stood outside kind of wandering what just happened because she never swears at me or hits me that hard. I heard her call the cops and tell them I was trying to kill her by pushing her onto the edge of the door and that she had locked herself in a room and I was trying to break in. I freaked out and started yelling that that wasn't true and she said "See he's right outside the door now" So right after that I started typing this and I can hear the sirens now. My [47/M] dad is in prison for unrelated reasons and my [8/m] brother didn't see it happen. I'm sorry if this is the wrong sub for this but it's the first one I thought of | my mom lied to the cops about me trying to kill her, they'll be here in approx 1 minute |
t3_z0gmg | AskReddit | Reddit, people who work in retail love to vent about terrible customers, but have any of you "made someones day/life"? I have, and it makes me love my job. | So, I had a customer today that was obviously in a horrible mood. I'm pretty mellow and not much bothers me, so my end of the conversation was always cheerful. Our conversation went:
me: Hi! Did you find everything ok?
her: ya
me: Glad to hear it! Do you have a VIP card with us?
her: I don't know
me: I can check if your phone # is on file?
her: Im in a hurry
me: ok, well I'll just give you the discount this time and you can sign up
when you want to.
her: fine.
Me: (end of transaction and handing her the receipt) Thank you for coming in today! I hope to see you soon! :)
her: (sigh) you know, you're the first person that's been nice to me all day. I've been running errands since 9am, and people are fucking rude.
me: I know. I feel the same way when I go out. It's stupid. Like, maybe just try to have some manners. right?
her: Exactly! Thank you. Im sorry if I was rude.... its just been a long day. | Sometimes customers are just having a bad day, and YOU can make a huge difference. We've all shopped somewhere before where the employees are truly douchebags. Just glad I'm not one of them. |
t3_21li41 | Advice | 21f, might be in love with best friend? | I don't know if I'm bisexual or not. I know I'm attracted to men, I always have been. But... I don't know. My best friend is so gorgeous. And she's so kind, and just generally wonderful. And I think I want to kiss her. I've never had my first kiss, but I think I'd want mine to be with her. I even have sexual thoughts about her sometimes. And well, I don't know - we had a big fight and I started breaking down and she asked me if I was in love with her, and all I could say was "I don't know" - since then, other friends of mine have told me that I wasn't in love with her so I told her that, but I think it's because they don't know the full extent of the story. I really want to make her happy because she makes me so happy... and I just want to hold her and be like a couple with her. I don't know. I'm scared, I don't want to be in love with her. But everything points to yes, right? | I'm pretty much in love with her and I can't deal. I don't want to have sexual or romantic feelings for her. How do I make them go away? |
t3_12fruv | dating_advice | [20M] trouble falling in love. | [20M] I haven't fallen for a girl in over four years and it is really starting to worry me. During this time I have gone on antidepressants, come off them, and now am on anti-anxiety medication. (I understand the effects of medication on my ability to have stronger emotions like love, etc.) In the last year or so I have finally taken care of myself with confidence and becoming a successful individual. It just seems that every girl I meet isn't right for me. I'm just afraid of getting into dating when I don't want to commit since I don't have strong feelings for them or "that" connection. Help or insight appreciated. | Haven't fallen in love in over four years, need help. |
t3_2kxej6 | relationships | I (23m) think I'm killing my girlfriends (23f) happiness | For background. We've been together for almost 2 years. I'm a year behind her in life. We met in her senior year of school and dated long distance through my senior year as well.
The struggle: I am a TV reporter. I've known I wanted to do this job since I got to school. She is a very good marketing/advertising major who was working in Boston my senior year.
I got a job at a TV station in Lubbock, Texas. It's a small, not overly interesting place but I have always known I was gonna have to start somewhere.
My girlfriend and I talked long and hard before I got this job and agreed that her job was more portable and that we were serious about each other and wanted to be together. So she made and amazing decision to come be with me.
But I think she is miserable. She moved about 3 weeks after I got here, and I hadn't really made many friends by that point. My girlfriend is very needy time wise, and we've basically done absolutely everything together since she got here. The problem is that I can't sustain that all the time. I enjoy playing games occasionally, going to grab a drink with coworkers etc... And every time I do so, it feels like I've let her down. She doesn't actually say that, but she does seem upset and I always have to cleer he up afterwards.
I feel badly because I know how much she gave up to come here, but I also feel 100% responsible for her here. She hasn't made any friends. Her work isn't what she wants it to be, and she feels so down on herself lately.
I would love some advice to fix this situation... I love this girl and want to know if I'm letting her down, if I need to help her find more to do, or if I need to just let her be free? That last possibility makes me hurt so much, but I want her to be happy and I think she's already decided that she cannot be happy here.
/b/ | b/ girlfriend moved to be with me. She hasn't made a life here, how do I help her? |
t3_2pa2e9 | relationships | Me [21F] with men in general. I can't develop feelings if they like me first, and I don't know why. | I don't know if this is an issue anybody will really want to respond to but here we go.
I haven't had a relationship in over 3 years, and I'd like one, but I'm not going to go for just anybody. But I've noticed this problem where if I know a guy and he begins to pursue anything with me, I have absolutely no interest whatsoever if I haven't already developed a crush of some sort on him. Like, I've been turning down perfectly nice guys because they liked me first and for some reason, that ruins it.
I don't know why I do this, but I feel like I'm sabotaging my own chances.
Additionally, every guy I have really liked since I broke up with my last real boyfriend has been the one to end things with me and that bothers me too, so I don't know if I need to feel some sort of power of men or what. | I'm a nutcase, and I don't know why I can't develop feelings for people who like me. |
t3_vbg4y | AskReddit | Help me settle an argument about tattoos and anxiety! | (Also, if there is a better subreddit for this, please let me know!)
Backstory: I am a 23 yr old female with a history of anxiety/depression problems. I have seen a doctor about it, and I am on medication and in the process of choosing a therapist. I have one existing tattoo (done about a month ago), and plans for 3 more, one of which will be done later this week. I am also a psychology student, so I have a little bit of background knowledge.
Here's the issue: I mentioned to my best friend that when I got my first tattoo (during a stressful time) it helped with my anxiety for a couple weeks. While getting it, I'm in pain, so that gives me something to focus on. Afterward, while caring for it I have a sense of accomplishment. Like, "See? You got through something you thought was scary, but now you have a reward for doing it." I recognize this as vaguely similar to the reasoning of those who self-harm.
So did he. He got very worried about me, and thinks that it is every bit as dangerous (psychologically speaking) as any other form of self-harm.
Now, the tattoos that I got/am getting have been in the works for years, so this is by no means an impulsive choice. I just found the anxiety relief as an interesting side effect, and does not factor in to my decision to get them. I also use good aftercare practices. I am not terribly worried about it. What does reddit think? | Could getting tattoos because you want them, and finding they help with depression/anxiety be considered self-harm? |
t3_2khj4k | relationships | Should I [20 F] confront a (now ex) friend [20 F] about being emotional manipulative? | So I recently had a major falling out with a best friend after realizing she was being emotionally manipulative. She's always had a very dominating personality. She progressively began to act as though I was her her "pawn" I guess I would say. She would constantly pressure me into doing whatever would benefit her. Things like convincing me to register for a class that she was also registering for that I didn't want to take, or guilting me into going out and drinking when I didn't want to. She would tell me things like "You know I almost got into a fight with someone over you." When I never asked her to defend me. She would send me texts at two in the morning telling me "she wasn't okay with" me hanging out with somebody. I have a pretty passive personality so I mostly went along with it for the better part of two years. She had crazy insecurities and would get jealous if I hung with people without telling her. Eventually her insecurities manifested themselves into personal attacks like sending me harassing and dramatic texts telling me "how I betrayed her" and I "DESTROYED a friendship with somebody who truly loved me". If i ever tried to bring up something she did that made me upset, she would turn it around and get angry with me. One time she sent a text to me on accident that she meant to send to another friend that send "Yeah fuck her whatever", after telling me that she cared about me. It was after that that I decided to remove myself from her. However, I never specifically told her how she made me feel for the better part of two years. I have all this pent-up anger towards her that I want to express, but I'm worried that confronting her will only inflame the situation and cause more heartache. I have an intense desire to have her understand how I feel, but I'm worried that confronting her will only make me feel worse. Should I let it go or try to get some form of closure? | Was being emotionally manipulated. Not sure If I should confront her about the way she treated me or just free myself from her and let it go. |
t3_10gat5 | BreakUps | Two weeks after my ex tells me to stay away from him and never contact him again, he emails me. Why? | I have been doing the whole "no contact" thing with my ex-boyfriend after he dumped me, and it's been about two weeks since I've spoken to him (and I've been up and down emotionally ever since). Our last conversation ended angrily with him telling me to never contact him again, that he can't wait for me to leave him alone, and that he never wants to see me or hear from me. It was very hurtful, and he said some really mean, painful things to me that I can't bear repeating.
But yesterday morning, I got an email from him saying,
>I was really surprised when I felt kinda happy to see your dating profile active and updated, excellent format, by the way :) I'm glad you feel ready to date and move on. Hope you are well and continue to be happy.
>Sincerely,
>X*
Is he just trying to screw with my head? Why would he email me after stressing so forcefully that I stay the hell away from him? It's like he sets these rules, but then breaks them whenever he feels like it, but when *I* break the rules, I'm the one who's the "crazy psychopath" (yes, he's called me awful things like that and worse).
This breakup has already been incredibly hard on me. I lost my job because of him and how often he was emailing me at work with mean things to say, texting me and blowing up my phone and making me cry *endlessly*. It's bad enough that I struggle not to contact him, and out of nowhere he just does it to me? The only reason I'm on that dating website in the first place is because he ended it with me. I'm tired of him making assumptions about my life.
What do I do? Do I respond? Why would he send that email? My friends/family have all convinced me not to reply and all unanimously agree that he is a monumental douchebag who doesn't deserve me, so I haven't (yet). He's hurt me beyond belief. Why is he doing this?
I need some advice. I need to understand. | Two weeks after my ex tells me to stay away from him and never contact him again, he breaks his own rule to email me for what seems like no good reason. Why? Is he screwing with my head? Do I respond? |
t3_4wo7wo | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF [23F] of 8 months: Is it okay to feel uncomfortable about hanging out with girlfriends past sexual partner? | So my girlfriend slept with one of her college friends a couple years ago, and while they don't talk anymore, they are still part of the same friend group who occasionally get together. She asked me if I wanna hang out with her and her friends in a couple days, and he will be there. I feel like I wouldn't enjoy myself because of that, but I don't know whether or not it is normal for me to feel odd about it. | Girlfriend's past sexual partner is in her friend group and she wants me to hang out with him in addition to the rest of the group in a couple days, but I feel strange about it. Is that normal? |
t3_32lm7x | tifu | TIFU by murdering the Easter bunny | This happened today or at least very recently.
So a couple of weeks ago me and my friends won a pubquiz. It wasn't a very expensive one, so the first prize consisted of the three Toy Story movies (It's to do with the theme) and a chocolate Easter bunny (as that was readily available at the time).
As the team captain I got to take home the prizes to later reassemble the team to watch the movies and eat chocolate. As Easter and an exam period are both pretty notable time sinks, the reassembly has not yet taken place. In the meantime, I lazily store the bunny on the windowsill.
Now this wasn't the brightest idea, and I probably should have seen this coming, but as the weather finally caught up with the fact that autumn has passed, the bunny was caught by surprise. [Photos](
I'm trying to figure out a way to break it to the rest of the team, I hope they can still look me in the eyes after this brutal display of negligence. | Lazily left a chocolate bunny in the sun, ended up creating Two-Face |
t3_2s0per | tifu | TIFU by refusing to lose a bet | Today (couple months ago), I fucked up by taking a bet that I couldn't eat 3 whole habanero peppers.
So I'm hanging with some buddies and they were growing some peppers. We're drinking a couple beers and eventually this bet starts getting offered for a case of beer. Now, as a nicely indebted college student, I cannot say no to free beer. It's only 3 habaneros right? Nothing I can't deal with.
Wrong. I down those suckers and at first it seems pretty painless, even tastes good, then it hits. Pretty sure my tongue spontaneously combusted right there.
Friends are laughing their asses off while the tears are streaming. I run inside to find something to cool the inferno.
I find a half gallon of milk in the fridge, and the internal debate begins.
You see Reddit, I am lactose intolerant. Usually I can handle dairy in small doses, but the need for relief won out and I chugged that whole jug.
Fast forward about 25 minutes. I am sitting on the pooper, still in quite a lot of pain and do not leave that porcelain throne for the next four hours.
The feeling that I was going to give myself the dreaded pink sock was not pleasant. Thankfully my colon remained inside me and I got a free case of beer to recover with. | Ate habaneros. Lactose intolerant me drank a half gallon of cow's milk. No relief. Sat spewing fiery hot dairy shits for 4 agonizing hours. Free beer. |
t3_rzty5 | AskReddit | Reddit, I'm suffering. What do you do/have done to get over grief? | I have had an Amazonian parrot for the past few years. He felt like family; he flew, spoke, played and was calm when he needed to be. Today, the dog (big dog) opened the door and the parrot flew out. He's always been afraid of the outdoors so it was never an issue, but all of a sudden... boom. He flew far. Out of sight within moments. We've been searching all day but no luck, and we've let all vets and humane societies know. Breeder says if he's not found by sundown, he'll either freeze to death or be killed by hawks.
I can't stand the feeling of an innocent baby animal being so helpless in the wild because of irresponsibility.
What can I do to feel better? I have exams and I just cant bring myself to do anything but sulk. | Parrot flew away and can't be found. He won't make it through the night. Feel like absolute shit. |
t3_3btitt | relationships | [18 F] in a relationship with a [21 M], feel like my insecurities are ruining our relationship | This is my first post so excuse me for any errors. I would like to get some advice on something and get it off my chest.
So I've been dating this guy since April and he is honestly one of the nicest guys I've met. However, my insecurities have been getting to me. I met my boyfriend off Tinder and that instantly made me feel like he was going to cheat on me since that's a hook up app. I have trust issues since I have been really hurt in my previous relationship (he found someone else). I don't know what to do I always bring up how I'm worried he's going to cheat/leave me and I feel like that's really bothering him that I have these thoughts a lot. I love him but I don't trust him. I can't get over that if he was to hurt me I couldn't take it. I feel like I'm ruining out relationship by bringing up my worries sometimes. I don't know if I should end it to put my mind at ease or keep going on with the relationship with these doubts. I love him but I'm so confused about my feelings sometimes. | SO is the nicest person but I constantly keep thinking he's lying to me |
t3_2yro3p | relationship_advice | [25/f] feels that I, [28/m], am not listening if there's little to no room to have my opinions persuaded by her. | She feels I'm not LISTENING to her if there's little to no potential that I will change my opinion of something, based on what she says about it. I feel that I and anyone else are entitled to their own opinions, and listening doesn't require that I might be persuaded. I still give her my attention and acknowledge what she has said - but it's not going to change my mind - and in this particular area, it never could - as only widely researched and qualified studies would..because science.
Example right now is I'm not comfortable going to a chiropractor for my stiff, painful neck. She has chiropractor friends she's very close to and I believe is taking offense that I'm not interested, as though my unacceptance of the practice invalidates HER opinion of it - or in her words that I don't trust her.
I've tried to explain this to her about the same as I have here but it doesn't seem to be getting through. Is there a better way to put it? I feel like her problem is she's relying too heavily on external validation, which has lead to taking my opinions personally - am I wrong? | I don't want to go to a chiropractor because I don't believe in their practice. Girlfriend has many close chiropractor friends and takes my unwillingness to be persuaded personally and claims that my unwillingness to be swayed means I'm not listening. What do? |
t3_42kaxz | Dogtraining | Puppy whining SOS | We have a 9 week old toy poodle.
We both work full time so have had someone come in at lunchtime to play with her, just be with her etc. At the moment we are out 8-6, so she doesn't get longer than perhaps 5 hours alone before our dog sitter comes. However, eventually we will have to wean her off the dog sitter and she will have to go the whole hog unaccompanied. (FYI; she is using potty pads because we live on the 15th floor. She has a play pen with bed and pee pads separately, so doesn't need to be taken out to pee).
We downloaded the "dog monitor" app to check on her while we are at work. (Worried parents alert!) checking it every hour or couple of hours, she is often whining, screaming and barking. Not all the time, but I thought this would subside about 20-30 mins after we left the house in the morning.
Also, for the times when she's not yelling, she's just sleeping. I know that puppies need to sleep a lot more than we think, but I'm concerned that she has zero interest in any of her Kong toys, IQ puzzle balls, chew toys etc. She literally doesn't touch any of them, and this worries me because we don't want her to be bored while we are out but she doesn't help herself by ignoring all the things we have!
Does anyone have any tips or advice about this?! | puppy being a whino all day on and off while we are at work. When not screaming, is just sleeping - disinterested in Kong toys, puzzle toys etc. Help!? |
t3_3nlgnq | legaladvice | My grandfather was threatened to be arrested for urinating outside [Buffalo, NY] | Hello, I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask this.
This weekend, my Canadian grandparents went to Buffalo, NY. On their way there, my grandfather needed to go to the bathroom and he said it couldn't wait so they stopped on the side of the freeway to go. It was on the grass and there wasn't anyone around. A police officer came by and asked questions. He asked if my grandfather does this a lot in Canada, and also said he can arrest him. My grandfather said he's diabetic so he couldn't hold it in until he found a public restroom. He took my grandfather's ID and went to his car to check something I assume and came back saying he decided he will not arrest him.
Anyway, my mother and aunt are furious that this happened. They think it's discrimination and they think it's because we are Canadian or Asian. They can't believe that the officer would have arrested my grandfather, "it was an emergency". I tried explaining it to them that it is DEFINITELY illegal, but they don't care. They still think it's discrimination.
Anyway, I'm not familiar with US law. So my question is, how do I explain to my mother and aunt that this is not discrimination and the officer had the right to arrest my grandfather over this? Or am I mistaken? | Canadian grandfather pissed on side of freeway and Buffalo police officer threatened arrest. Mom and aunt are mad. |
t3_2e09e8 | relationships | Me [17 M/F] with my Girlfriend [17 M/F] 9 months, Long distance | So I met this girl online and fell in love with her. Head over heels. She always on my mind.
Well. I asked her if she would be in a long distance relationship with me about 9 months ago. She said yes.
Well the other day I realized that I had never seen a full body picture of her so I go on facebook and look at her pictures and I see one. Shes chubby. I am not shallow at all.
But I feel.. Cheated? Because she had only been sending my selfies and I assumed by her face that she was a little chubby..
But when I saw her picture she is a lot more than I thought she was. I guess it just bothers me that I kinda had to learn this myself? I still love her very much and I find her attractive.. But.. Why am I upset? | I found out that my long distance SO is chubby. How do I get passed this? Because I love this girl. |
t3_3157mp | relationships | My [21 F] roommate/good friend[22 F] is driving me absolutely insane with her coughing. Please help me not murder her. | My roommate and I have been good friends for 3 years, and we're now in our senior year of college and almost done (finally!). We moved in together at the start of this year, and she's been the best roommate I've ever had. However, lately she's been sick and coughing in this odd pattern (3 distinct coughs every 19-15 seconds) and when she isn't coughing because she's asleep, she's snoring. This is only a problem because she's sick, I know, but it's driving me up a wall.
I've been getting increasingly angry with any time she coughs, and it's to the point that I can't sleep in our room because her coughing makes me so irrationally angry, and the noise just keeps me up. She has been making NO effort to stop her coughing (no tea, honey, cough drops or any of the home remedies, no cold medication) and she also isn't even apologetic about how persistent her coughing is.
I know this isn't a usual /r/relationships problem, but I'm going absolutely insane, and I don't want to have to sleep on the couch to get a decent sleep. I know it isn't her fault, otherwise I would definitely call her out on it. How can I not allow myself to be driven insane like this and make sure to preserve our friendship?
Just a note about our living situation: we live in a small house in a college town, and we share the larger of two bedrooms, and a third girl lives in the other bedroom in our house alone. We have a living room with a decently almost comfy couch, where I can still hear her coughing, but it's a little bit quieter. | Roommate is coughing/snoring non-stop and it makes me want to murder her. How can I control my rage and not be bothered by this? |
t3_1uz0n0 | relationships | Me [18F] crushing on waiter [19M], I don't know what steps to take next | I'm 18 and I've never even had a boyfriend. It is pretty sad actually. I've never gone past the flirting stage. I'm totally clueless and don't know what to do next. I was a very shy person, and social interaction is still nerve-wracking for me.
So I know his first name and age, and when he works. I know this by asking on of the other waitresses. I'm white, and he is Korean-so I don't know if there will be any cultural boundaries. I don't even know if he likes white girls.
I'm going to go to the restaurant he works at tonight, and I know he will be working tonight. I will be going with some friends. I've been to the same place five different times in the last month, sometimes with friends-sometimes with family.
What should I do? I feel kind of stupid asking for this, but I'm pretty stunted relationship-wise. Should I leave my number? Try and find out if he is on any social media sites? I don't know what to do... | I'm totally new to dating/flirting and I haven't ever really gone past this stage before. Any help on the next step? |
t3_2ia92g | offmychest | I've always been a loner, to a degree. But not like this. | I don't really know how to deal with this anymore.
I've always felt like I didn't belong, ever since I could remember. I'm the kind of person that only has a few close friends, and girls never really paid any attention to me other than to make fun of me. There was a turning point for me in high school, my second year in. I was succeeding in the sports that I played, landing in the varsity team in a competitive area. Girls started to talk to me, I didn't know how to handle it because of the previously stated reason. Self esteem was starting to pick up. I met a particular girl that latched onto me and we started dating. I found out that she had a rather abusive home, and devoted myself to showing her how great life could really be. My parents hated her.
Fast forward a few years, past her cheating incident and my immediate family's move across the country. I moved with her to Portland, Oregon. I've never seen this place before, and now I'm paying rent in a crappy apartment in order to get a foothold here. After a few months of depression due to the lack of close friends besides her and the job being minimum wage, she breaks it off due to me not "doing enough to make her feel wanted". Within a week, she's seeing another guy.
I've moved out, and now have a much better job/career. But my social standing is worse. The one friend I had made in my minimum wage job moved to Alaska and previously mentioned girl broke my heart. I'm living in a university housing situation at the moment, but I don't get along with these people very well. I don't like weed, excessive drinking, or casual sex. The few people I've had interaction with just keep me at arm's length, and seem to enjoy all the above. | Had serious relationship invested one way too early with wrong person, moved away from everybody I care about, said person broke up with me in new city where I know nobody. Cue crippling loneliness for months. |
t3_3pulqc | relationships | Me (21M) & Gf (23F) of 2 months, told mom (53F) about gf, mom treats gf like air, there's still 2 weeks left for them to see each other everyday. Help. | First time posting on reddit, english not first language, also on mobile, my apologies for format.
They see each other everyday, mom doesn't acknowledge gf existence since day 1 they met. Its been 18 days since then and there's still 14 days left to go. Also it's going to be a long distance relationship starting mid November. Gf might not come visit due to how my mom treats her and I can't really go to the country she is in due to family and military issues.
Question being how to deal with mom? Its stressing me and gf out & also my relationship with my mom isn't really that good to have nice talks. | mom treats gf like air, its pissing me off & stressing me n my gf out, what should I do? |
t3_41qmpv | relationships | I think my roommate [23M] doesn't take me [22M] seriously anymore because I masturbate at night. | Before we moved in together, me and David (my roommate) got along pretty well. We weren't exactly best friends, but we did respect each other to a certain degree.
Recently though, I've noticed that David has been acting cold. He doesn't make eye contact, he actively avoids me when I'm home, and he makes snide remarks about me to his friends.
I don't know for sure why he is acting this way, but I have a feeling it's because of my regular masturbation sessions. I've gotten into a rhythm every night, and my body is at a point where it automatically starts to get aroused at a specific time each evening in preparation for a session.
I keep my door shut, and I try to stay as quiet as I possibly can, but inevitably, moans and heavy breathing escape from my lips.
To be honest, these sessions mean a lot to me. I have a stressful job, and it feels great to relax this way after a long day at work.
Should I try to explain this to my roommate, or should I leave this uncomfortable subject alone? | I masturbate every night, and it makes my roommate uncomfortable/angry with me. |
t3_jur9v | Dogtraining | Dog aggression questions (x-post from r/dogs) | Hi Reddit,
My wife and I just (today) rescued a 10-month old lab/beagle mix who is showing unusual behavior we were hoping we could get some insight on.
We previously had a lab who passed away about a month ago who had aggression issues with other dogs (kill or be killed mentality) and we fear somehow re-creating those habits with this dog.
About the rescue: The humane society said they found her with a jug over her head (as though they caught her in the middle of fetching something out of it or someone put it on her head). She's very timid around males, so we know there was some abuse. Whenever I raise my hand, she cowers. The trainer there told us that she's very submissive to other dogs, and we saw this for ourselves tonight, but then she did something that surprised us.
We brought her over to a friend's house who has a beagle. When they met in the front yard (both loose-leashed) our dog rolled over on her belly to submit to the beagle. We then went inside and they got along, sniffing each other, licking etc. Our friend then brought out treats to reward them, and the friend's dog ate his and approached our dog (not to steal her treat but to play). Our dog snapped at him, so we corrected her. She didn't seem interested in the treat so we took it away so it was no longer an issue.
From that point on, she was not friendly with our friend's beagle. Snapping at him once, showing teeth when he got close in another situation. She stayed away from him for the rest of the night, as did he (our friend's dog) since he was scared.
So my questions: By our taking the treat away, did our dog think the beagle took it and then she had it out for him? Has anyone seen this behavior before? How would you go about correcting this? | Our rescue today snapped at a friend's dog after initially being submissive and playful. Was aggressive the rest of the night (two hours) after our friend's dog got near her treat. |
t3_4qf7ra | relationships | Me [23 M] with my Girlfriend [22 F] 4 months, after Brexit things have just gone bad. | So we've been seeing each other for a good few months now and things have been going well, we've worked through exam times and other stressful situations. We're also not shy to a deep and meaningful conversation about the world/politics and the rest, we have different views but its mutually respected and everyone walks away happy.
As i'm sure most the world knows Brexit happened,everything was fine until Saturday (25th) where we had one of these debates/conversations, this one got a little more intense and passionate. Since then the messaging has been incredibly distant/disinterested/short & blunt, and i feel like i'm the one who wants to work through this and get back to enjoying the time. We also had plans for Sunday which were cancelled because "she didn't feel like doing anything."
I would like to point out i haven't spammed her, and am currently in the giving space area/seeing if she will make a friendly move back.
I was interested what people thought about duration to leave it, how to approach it or anything. I'm just stuck and confused to this behavior.
I would like this to work out, and don't want the fact our country is leaving the EU to be the cause of a breakup!
Cheers for your help! | Brexit happened, and now my gf doesn't want to know me. |
t3_jis6b | self | Reddit, I'm a college student and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. | Like the title says, I'm a student going into my 3rd year, meaning I need to declare a major pretty much ASAP. Right now, my declared major is Criminal Justice and I've taken a major-related class for it already. That said, I enjoyed the class but I'm not so sure that I want to stick with it because I don't have any interest in becoming a cop. Working with some type of agency would be awesome but it seems very difficult, especially in the current job market, to find an opening in one.
I also am minoring in History because that is what I wanted to do before C.J. I feel that it'd at least be a decent backup in case I wanted to go into teaching or anything of the sort.
I've looked into majoring in Communications because it seems like a fairly straightforward degree that would be acceptable for most job positions. The only thing that scares me is the average salary for Com. majors. I've been looking for something that interests me but I also want something that would entail me being financially secure down the road.
I basically need to figure my shit out within the next few weeks as I'll be starting my upper level courses and don't really want to be going to school any longer than I have to. | Not sure what I want declare major in, currently is Criminal Justice but have been considering other options, and I need to figure it out asap. |
t3_45ystw | relationship_advice | Should females give their male counterpart a gift on Valentine's Day? | A bit of backstory. I've been with this girl for 4 months now. We spend a lot of time together and so far things have been going quite good. For Valentine's Day, I got her a 2 hour Swedish massage ($220, although that's irrelevant), a nice bouquet of flowers, and made her breakfast in bed. She got me nothing. Now, I'm not one for material objects or big expensive gifts. Just a card with a heartfelt note inside would have been nice. She likes to draw and paint, and knows that I love her artwork, she could have painted me something. Give me a good back massage. But I didn't receive anything. This is also not the first time that I've felt the relationship was a bit of a one-way street. I do things for her often and don't see her making nearly as much of an effort as myself.
So my question is, should I call her out on this? Or should I just keep it in the back of my mind and take it as a show of the way she views the relationship? Is it even a big deal or am I blowing it out of proportion? Help please | Girlfriend didn't get me anything for V-Day, big deal or no? |
t3_11mrot | relationship_advice | Is rebuilding trust with SO (f22) a lost cause? or do you think it can come back if I (m23) give it time. | Its a short story. caught her sexting with another guy months ago. we have been together for about a year and a half. she realized how much it hurt me and has cut off all communication with said guy. but now i'll go a week where everything is fine, then she may come home late from work an hr or so and I find myself coming up with all of these scenarios in my head of her cheating on me. Is this something that will go away progressively with time? I really do love her but trust is everything in a relationship and need any advice i can get to start building it again. if it is even possible. Thanks | GF sexting other guy, trust issues, can trust be rebuilt? |
t3_1dgmsk | relationships | [19M] wondering what I should do about [18F] upcoming birthday | So I am [19M] wondering what I should do about [18F] upcoming birthday. We have been seeing each other for about 2 months and have been dating for maybe a bit less then one. She is a year younger and turning 19 in 3 weeks. Where I live, this also means she will be legal to drink. I have a few main concerns about her upcoming birthday: Who should I ask for advice on a gift? Is there a price range that I should consider? Sadly, I will be away in another country during her birthday, what should I do about this?
For a gift, I was considering asking a friend of hers for some advice. If this is a good idea, I narrowed it down to 2 people. Her best friend that knows everything about her. She lives across the country but they have weekly phone calls. I know who she is, and she knows who I am but we don't really know each other so I was thinking that it could be a little weird to ask. Then there is also a couple really close friends of hers who I know better and have talked to on multiple occasions.
I don't mind spending money but what would be too much?
I will be away from 7 days before until 3 after. How does this affect things?
I was planning on taking her to dinner along with the gift. Is there a way I should organize this? Dinner before I go, gift after? I won't be getting much time to shop while I am away but I would like to get her some sort of souvenir too. Any info that you may have would be greatly appreciated and I am more then happy to provide any additional info that you may want. Thank you for reading and I look forward to reading your thoughts! | I have a few concerns about my SO upcoming birthday concerning what to get, a price range and what to do about me being away for it. |
t3_vbgnb | personalfinance | Getting a small loan to pay off a collections account? | So, I am a student living on my own, making slightly more than I need to live on. However, because I was a raging idiot about a year ago (got kicked out of my first apartment) I now owe about 1.5k to a collections agency (I only found out about this recently, I guess the apartment didn't see fit to tell me they were charging me). I want to get this paid off ASAP, the only problem is I don't have nearly enough free cash to pay it off within a year. I don't want this sitting on my credit for that long and wrecking my ability to get an apartment or a loan (I'm graduating undergrad next may and going to grad school). What would Reddit suggest? Would getting a loan to cover the collections, and then paying that back over time be a smart idea? | I have a collections debt, want to pay it back. How? |
t3_2cdq0v | AskDocs | How much sodium is too much? | So there are obvious daily values I can find on the internet, so my question is really a "one sitting" type of question.
Quick back-story: I'm a 23 year old white male BMI of 20.3 (6' 150 pounds) no meds. All throughout high school and into college I did sports and worked out. I'm still sort of active but now have a full time job and find it difficult to go run around as I used to.
My family has a history of High Cholesterol and in my sophomore year of college mine was 203, so I worked at in and one year later was down to 183 (better). I take fish oil and all of that, but my real issue is a i still eat rather poorly. Mostly due to working a lot and not having time for nice well prepared meals.
Hears the question, really how much is too much sodium in one sitting? I mean yeah I could ingest 1500mg throughout the day no whoop, but what if I go out and eat something really shitty (Panera Mac + Cheese for example) that has tons of sodium. Is it doing alot of.. erm... damage ingesting that much all at once?
The main reason I ask is after I ate that food I've felt off and have had minor tingles in my forearms and hands since eating it. I mean I feel fine besides those small tingles. | I'm a thin male whose arms tingle after eating a high sodium meal, should I be worried? |
t3_2lsfaq | relationships | Me [26F] with my [25M] 1 year, do I have reason to believe hes a cheater or an I being insecure??? | I have been with my boyfriend about a year, living together for 6 months. Everything was perfect for the first few months.
After about 4 months, I caught him emailing his ex using pet names and saying he misses her. (They had broken up only a couple months before I met him.) We went to the town he formerly lived in with her to pick up some of his things. I stayed at the hotel, trusting he would get his things and come back. He was gone over 2 hours. Recently I caught him looking at her facebook.
Also, he works with other woman from his home state and I have seen texts from them with xoxo and saying they love him. He has assured me they are only friends and when I asked him to tell them not to speak to him that way, because it is disrespectful to me, he showed me he did, but when I looked at his phone the next day, (which I shouldnt have done) the entire conversation was deleted.
Am I being overly sensitive or do I have reason to believe I will be cheated on, or is this a form of cheating? I dont know if I should leave him before anything happens or stick around...
Any input would be greatly appreciated. | Boyfriend emailing ex with pet names saying he misses her, should I leave??? |
t3_2jc9bx | relationships | Me [17M] needs dating advice. Crush is [17F]. I don't know what day is good to set a date "in stone". | Title can be misunderstood, sorry, I suck at titles...
Basically, we've already agreed to go on a date this weekend 2 days ago, but we didn't agree on *what* to do.
I know, it's normally not something good to do, but we wanted to go to the movies and there wasn't shit that interested us.
So, I'm pretty sure it's just me overthinking things, but I'm wondering when exactly should I bring up the topic again, this time knowing what to do on the date, obviously.
I want to do it today, but I don't know if it's too soon? Keep in mind, I'm a completely new in the dating department, so I'm trying my best not to fuck up in a stupid way hahaha.
And, another question...I have no fucking idea what to do on the date.
Eating something somewhere sounds lame in my head, going to the beach (which is nearby) sounds okay, but idk if it's good for a first date, and my knowledge of the city I live in is fairly limited. | Is today a good time to set a date in stone, if said date is during the weekend? Also, what could be a good thing to do on a date? |
t3_nydb2 | AskReddit | My slimy roommate stole naked pictures off my computer. What can I do? | I left my laptop at home while I went out of town to visit my family for Christmas. When I returned, I was able to login without a password. Feeling a little paranoid, I checked "Recent Places" and lo and behold: every single folder of my private images had been opened just three days prior. Not only that, but he created a temporary folder ("Temp Pics") and presumably saved my photos. Because he shared his password with me, I was able to verify that "Temp Pics" was on his computer's Recent Places only an hour and a half after it was created on my laptop. Unfortunately the folder was created and accessed on an external drive, which I can't find.
Some additional information that might be useful:
- At least half of the photos were taken when I was underage.
- My roommate sells drugs. He keeps them in the house, though, and sometimes sells from here. Will that incriminate me, as well?
As of now, my best idea is to confront him in front of our other two roommates, inform him that I know of the situation and demand the external hard drive. Hopefully the threat of underage pictures, lawsuits, and the threat of mentioning his little operation will be enough to scare him into coughing it up without a fight.
What can I do? What rights do I have here? What should I be wary of going into this? Please help me figure this out. | My roommate located naked pictures of me and all signs point to him saving them to his external hard drive. What are my options? |
t3_1qie3v | dating_advice | Reddit, help me get over my first kiss | Okay Reddit, let me preface this text by saying it is extremely embarrassing to even type this up, and sounds extremely childish. Regardless of your opinions on the matter, I'm sure I could use your help.
I am a 16 year old male and a sophomore in high school. I believe I am above average in terms of attraction, but am by no means all that. Although that may not seem relevant, in my self conscious and self depreciating mind, it seems quite relevant to me. *The reason I feel that my attraction is important, is mainly due to that I have no problems whatsoever finding a date. I do, however, have a problem with kissing.
For various reasons, there was no real chance for me to date anyone until I started high school, meaning I still had not had my first kiss till last year. I dated a very attractive lady last year who was seemingly perfect for me. We went out shopping one day and everything was going swell until I decided it was time- I went in for the kiss. andddddd.......Fail. Epic Fail. I don't even know what happened it was so awkward my brain blocks out the memory.
It was so bad and I was so embarrassed the relationship just died out after a few weeks. I didn't try to kiss her again. The problem is, now that I have a new girlfriend I am terrified to try to kiss her. We have been going out for almost 2 weeks but we have still yet to make out or kiss other than a peck on the cheek. I have no experience with kissing and would like any and all input on a way for me to get over this huuuuuuge fear of kissing before it gets to be too late and she thinks I don't like her. God this is embarrassing. Reddit, any input would be much appreciated. | I am somewhat attractive and find no problems getting dates/girlfriends, but am terrified of kissing due to a terrible terrible first experience. Please help me before I ruin another relationship*** |
t3_2jwm1v | askwomenadvice | How do I deal with a friend who constantly complains about everything? | I'm (24) still good friends with my ex-girlfriend (22), and we text regularly. But it usually turns into her complaining about how she hates everything and everyone is so annoying.
Since we're not together anymore, I don't feel the need to have to put up with all her bullshit anymore, but at the same time, I don't want to lose a close friend.
I never know how to respond: Do I show sympathy, do I give advice, do I tell her to suck it up? If I even hint that the problem might be her (which it almost certainly is), it'll probably stir up a shit-storm.
Any advice? | Still good friends with ex-gf, but she constantly complains about everything and everyone. What do I do? |
t3_n7is7 | dating_advice | So I finally take advice to be forward with a guy, and HE ends up being fickle with ME. Help :( | There's a guy I've known for about a year (I work with him), and I'd say we're pretty close as far as coworkers go. He's always by my side at work, we get a lot of crap from coworkers (asking if we're dating, why aren't we together yet, etc). Anytime we go out together we usually end up hugging all over one another or just playfully flirting etc. So I finally took it upon myself to tell this guy I had a crush on him. His response was "Haha, -- you're so cute." I kind of expected him to reciprocate the feelings if he had any or to reject me if he didn't. Is this guy just not interested in me? I don't want to press the subject anymore as to not seem like a creep. | I thought a guy had a mutual fondness for me so I told him I liked him. His response was "haha you're so cute." What do I do? |
t3_savcn | AskReddit | Reddit, describe your most interesting sex dream. [NSFW] | I was running away from an abductor who was chasing me with a shotgun. To escape, I had to break my own foot so it could slide through the shackle. Hobbling away through a field of snow, I knew it was only a matter of time before he followed my tracks to catch me. My current girlfriend then lured me behind a shed for sex. There was a chair where she tied me down and played out a rape scenario. Upon finishing she apologized, and the man came out of the shed and shot us both. At least she had the courtesy to let me die happy. | My girlfriend lured me with sex so an abductor could kill us both |
t3_13rqm7 | Parenting | I want to give my friend an old computer for her young kid. She asked me to childproof it first. Any advice is welcome. | Hello /r/parenting. I'm childfree, but I come in peace. I figured that it would be better to ask here than to throw my question into the hivemind of a main sub like AskReddit. I could really use your insight, experience, and advice.
Long story short: I have a 2007 iMac and my friend has a six year old kid. She's ok with me giving it to her kid if I "child proof" it first. Basically make it so the parent can choose to block specific websites and the kid can't install or download "harmful stuff." (unfortunately the mom is more paranoia than tech savvy.)
Is there any way to make browsing safe without blocking all search engines or video sites? Is there a way to keep the kid from signing up for new emails/accounts that the parent wouldn't be able to see?
Basically, my fear is that the kid will wind up getting thrown in the deep end like I was. No elementary school kid should be learning all their sex ed from 30 year olds in Yahoo chat rooms (I guess /b/ would be the modern equivalent?). And the kid is the type to trust everything that anyone tells her. When I visited a few weeks ago she seemed to be having trouble understanding what lying was and why one of her dozens of best friends could possibly do that to her.
But beyond "find a way to make that not happen" as a non-parent, I have no idea what to do or block.
Any advice? Should I just buy her a High School Monster doll or some Pokemon cards instead? | Help a parent get all China on their kid's computer. |
t3_30w0qn | relationships | I [25/m] am considering breaking up with my girlfriend [25/f] of 5 years. | So we started dating our sophomore year of college. And we have been dating long distance since I graduated in May. But feelings of complacency have been present for a long time.
I still love and care about her deeply. But it has evolved to the point where it seems that sexual and romantic chemistry is slowing going away. I don't want to hurt her and I enjoy being around her, but something has felt missing for a long time.
It almost feels like I am committed to it because I care for her and we have both made promises and planned our futures around each other. I think that breaking up would devastate her, and my feelings of separation aren't strong enough to end it yet.
I also don't think that we improve each other as people. But I don't know if that is always a realistic expectation in a relationship.
A friend of mine recently said that "we work really well together, but he doesn't see very much chemistry between us." Meaning, we communicate so well that we can work through almost any issue, but there doesn't seem to be strong feelings there. I care about her a great deal, but I am not sure if we are romantically the best fit. And it seems weird to be uncertain after almost 5 years.
My question: Have you had a long term relationship end because of intangible reasons? How did your long term relationship end? And are my feelings systematic of a bad relationship or are these feelings pretty common in a long term one? | I am in a long term relationship where my feelings to continue it are lukewarm, and my desire to end it is equally uncertain. I care deeply about her, but it worries me how ambiguous my feelings have become in the past year. |
t3_4orcdh | relationships | My 20F boyfriend 20M of three months often has to double-check when I tell him something. | I've realized that my boyfriend "Adam" hardly ever takes my word for anything, and instead has to look it up or ask someone else. The most recent time this happened was when I stopped at the box office to buy tickets for us to go to a show. The guy at the office explained that they weren't giving out physical tickets, and instead took mine and Adam's names down, and told me to bring ID, and we would be let in. Adam later asked me about the tickets, and I explained what the box office guy had told me. Adam said "I don't think that's right" and called the box office to verify, even though I told him exactly what the man had said. When the person on the phone confirmed what I said, Adam didn't apologize for doubting me.
We haven't been dating that long, but I've realized this has happened many times. I could understand if I seemed unsure, or if what I said seemed really unlikely, but this is usually basic stuff that he has no reason to think I would be wrong about. I would be less offended if he did that to everyone, but I've seen him listen to other people, and I haven't seen him checking up on them. I think he could at least do it when I'm not around, so my feelings wouldn't be hurt. I told him it makes me think he doesn't trust me to know what is going on, and he claimed that that wasn't true, he just wanted to be sure to avoid making a mistake. Am I overreacting? | Am I overreacting to my boyfriend's need to check up on what I tell him? |
t3_22kkx0 | AskReddit | Is Card counting in Blackjack still feasible? | I've been very interested in learning to count cards, because it looks very fun and profitable. I know you need a big bankroll and lots of practice to be able to do it. What I'm wondering is if it's still possible. Its 2014 and by now I would have expected casinos to make it impossible to count cards. Either by having 8 deck shoes which make the advantage less formidable, electronic shufflers, or removing cards from the deck. Should I still learn this ability and go out and try it, or will I just lose a bunch of money and have wasted my time? | By now should't casinos have unbeatable strategies against card counters? |
t3_3mis1d | tifu | TIFU by not checking if my headphones were really in. | This was, like most TIFU's, yesterday. Just thought I'd mention that.
Anyway a little backstory, I'm a quite guy who doesn't talk much in the lesson, and one of my worst fears is being the centre of attention of a large crowd (done with making a speech etc, but if it is something embarrassing I get extremely hot and start sweating).
So we had a substitute teacher (let's call her Mrs Jenkins and it was the last lesson, and like always someone asks to listen to music. Since we were just copying notes from a textbook and Mrs Jenkins thought we were very well behaved compared to other classes, we were allowed. Here comes the fuck up. I take my phone out my pocket with the headphones already plugged in from the car, and without thinking too much about it I put my headphones in, turn on my Lumia and quickly play the music from where I left off.
"You wonder why they call you bitch, you wonder why they call you bitch, I betcha."
Everyone slowly rotates their heads to me, and naturally my anxiety kicks in and I fumble around trying to pause the music, and end up knocking my phone over onto the (carpeted, thankfully) floor. Finally I stopped busting them tunes, but then everyone started laughing for three minutes straight. Literal non stop laughter. Mrs Jenkins didn't even say anything, because she thought I was a 'good' boy who wouldn't listen to rap music. | shy boy with social anxiety ended up not plugging in headphones fully and showing the entire class the art of tupac's music. |
t3_3rkzny | relationships | I (40M) married 13 years to (39F) and have 2 kids. I always that we have to be monogamous. | (40M) married to (39F) 13 years and 2 young kids. together for 20 years. I have always felt that monogamy isnt natural but have remained faithful. I always felt that i have had been left out. i want to sleep with other people and dont have a problem if she does as well. I could never bring up an open relationship with her even thou it turns her on during drity talk. she always been the jealous type. still is. not sure what to do. talk of an open relationship and my true feeling would devastate her I'm sure. Do i cheat and hope i dont get caught? do tell her how I feel and cause Irreparable harm (this im sure of). i've always struggled with this. | I dont belive we should be monogamous. cant tell her. |
t3_41e9bz | tifu | TIFU by drinking moonshine | I wrote this last week on Monday but didn't get to post it until now:
Last night I watched the CFP championship (I am a student at Clemson) with a few friends in our dorm. I wasn't sober when we started which is probably the reason for my FU. My friend told me to help him finish his moonshine and beer. Throughout the game I had about 6 beers and apparently a *lot* of moonshine. This was incredibly strong stuff and we were drinking it straight, super gross. The last thing I remember was throwing up over the side of my lofted bed. Upon waking up at 7:00 am I was greeted with a huge mess and an incredible hangover. There was vomit everywhere. On my bed, comforter, and sheets. On the chair that was right below my bed and all over the floor. Super gross. Somehow I managed to get *zero* of it on myself. I wasn't able clean it at that time because I had class at 8 am. The rest of the day was spent incredibly hungover and trying to remember what exactly happened. | I drank beer and a lot of moonshine, tossed the cookies in my dorm room, and had little recollection of it the next morning. |
t3_546k17 | tifu | TIFU By turning down my crush [NSFW] | I'm not really the type of guy to have a ton of crushes, just one at any given moment, if that.
There's this one girl who sits next to me in my third period class who I've known since middle school, and I have to admit, she is very beautiful. To go into further detail, I'll just say she's pretty well-endowed in the chest area. I have a pretty big crush on her, but I haven't asked her out nor confessed to feeling this way.
So now that you know the context, here's what happened. Basically, I was looking at her just kind of spaced out, when she looks back at me. Usually when this happens to people, they kind of try to avert their eyes and make it look like they are scanning the room. I would've done this, but as I mentioned, I was spaced out, just staring dumbly. After maybe 5 solid seconds of being a fucking idiot, I finally come to and realize she's staring back. I start to get flustered and apologize, but instead of getting pissed at me as I thought she would, she keeps looking, puffs out her chest slightly, and winks. I get even more flustered and my mind starts to go crazy, as this is the girl I've had a pretty big crush on for a while now. I'm thinking about what I should say, I don't know if I should ask her out, wink back, ignore it, and I'm at a loss. I keep looking at her, and the words finally leave my mouth.
"You've been my crush for such a long time"? No.
"Will you go out with me"? No.
What do I say you ask?
"Cool, thanks." Fuck.
Basically for the rest of the period we ignored each other and just continued doing work.
Reddit, Today I Realllllllllllly Fucked Up | acted dumb in front of crush, she dropped hints, asking out soon. |
t3_4o6sfi | relationships | Me [24/F] with my BF [25/M] of two years, something happened yesterday that was weird and I feel really awful. But I don't know exactly WHY I feel this way? | So, to preface this, we live in Boulder, CO. Everyone here is really fit, and it's really common to see people in workout clothing everywhere this time of year. It's just a fact of life here.
That being said, I had been to yoga that a.m. and still had my tights on. It was getting dark, so I had a sweatshirt with me, but otherwise I had on a longer tank top and my yoga tights. So we're at a brewpub and I'm running our empties back and bringing our new ones since they're slammed and I didn't want the bartender to have to wait on us...and when I get back to the table, he grabs the bottom hem of my tanktop and, like, yanks? it down really hard over my butt and makes a really annoyed noise. I'm like, wtf? What just happened? And he says "Oh, if one more guy stared at your butt I was gonna punch someone..."
0_o
What? WTF? Nothing like this has ever happened the entire time we've been together, and I've always dressed like this. Why does this feel so gross/weird when I think about it? Like, I don't want to hang out with him for a while I'm so weirded out by this.
So why does this suck and what do I do? Can I talk to him about this? | Bf got weirdly...posessive? about my body in public. This fucking sucks. Why does it suck though? And what do I do? |
t3_4ef8qu | relationships | My wifes not happy anymore | So my wife (26f)and I (26m)have been married for 4 years. Once or twice she has told me that I don't show her enough affection or appreciation, I thought I was, but turns out it wasn't enough. She has been talking to another guy and when I confronted her about it she told me she needed affection and he gave it to her. She isn't cheating on me (I don't think). She told me that I am a good husband and a good father but she just isn't happy and she don't think I could make her happy anymore. I worked my hands to the bones 7 days a week so she could stay home with our baby and only convinced her to get a job so she could make friends and get out of the house.
We have two kids together so I am devastated. I won't stop fighting for her but she has long stopped fighting for me. I don't know what to do. We had our first child at a young age and she says that we didn't get enough time to get to know each other. We have different beliefs and hobbies but I thought we worked that out. I'm scared of being a single father but I hate to see her not happy. Is it worth fighting for? Or should we take a break and see if she can be happy again? | my marriage might be over because I didn't buy her enough flowers. |
t3_3ipp35 | tifu | TIFU by Giving my Wife a Bubble Bath | This happened less than an hour ago....
Let's preface this by saying that tonight my wife and I have been best friends for 10 years, but have only been married for 3 months. We recently moved to New Zealand, where I started a new job. Needless to say, we haven't been getting a lot of 'quality time'.
So my wife and I are in the bath together, enjoying some naked time, and all of a sudden my stomach starts churning a little. I just tried to not think about it, even though the grumbling was becoming more insistent.
All of a sudden, I feel it.
A fart moving so quickly towards my ass that I couldn't hold it in and it fired out of me, the noise burbling from the depths of my bowels until it met the surface of the water. Needless to say it turned our bath into a temporarily steamy Jacuzzi.
My wife stares at me for a silent second, and says "Great, now I'm just sitting in your beef stew" before getting out of the bath.
I don't think she was all that impressed when I, clearly thinking straight, replied with "Awwww, we still have firsts!". | Ruined romantic bath with bubbles *eau de moi* |
t3_342gry | relationships | I [21F] am struggling with my boyf [20M] because I'm not over someone else | I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. I love him a lot and we have had an amazing time up until now but I'm starting to feel a bit restless in the relationship, almost as though I'm not IN love with him. I'm not sure whether I've just gotten comfortable and it can be worked on or if this is showing we're actually incompatible.
For me, the above isn't worrying as such because I believe it will work itself out. What worries me is that I'm not over another guy (let's call him Jay) and I believe this could be contributing highly to my restlessness. I started talking to Jay 5 months before I met my boyfriend. We met online and were talking everyday for four of those months, and then one day we suddenly stopped talking. I started seeing other people because I knew it would take me a lot to get over Jay, and I tried to push him to the back of my mind but these days I almost can't stop thinking about him. Although we have each other on social media we're pretty much entirely out of contact, and because we stopped talking so abruptly I feel like I haven't had 'closure'.
I guess what I'm looking for is advice on how to get over this elusive internet guy and to focus on mending my relationship with my boyfriend, because I feel like I'm not being fair to him! | Relationship of 8 months has lost its spark, possibly because I can't get over a previous short internet relationship. How do I get over internet guy?!?! |
t3_4laybe | legaladvice | [SF Bay Area, California, USA] Being Evicted for Gun Ownership & Storage (xpost r/guns) | Hey guys, I wasn't sure if this was the right subreddit for this, but it seemed appropriate. Basically what the title says.
Basic facts are this: - I have not been served with an official eviction notice, but I came home from work today to an ass-chewing from my landlord who noticed the little blue "ORM-D Cartridges, Small Arms" sticker on some packages that came for me today. She verbally said to me that she doesn't want guns in her house, that I have 30 days to vacate the premises, and that she would like me gone sooner. As an aside, I have ordered ammunition to this address 6 or 7 times before, all of which have also been similarly labeled per federal law. She has never commented on this before and I have never had cause to bring it up.
Additional info, if it matters:
- I have lived here for just over a year now. Living situation as follows: I rent a single room in a 4BR house. My bedroom has its own lock and key independent from the rest of the house. All tenants here are adults, there are no children on the premises. All of my possessions with the exception of my toiletries stay in my room. All of my firearms stay under lock and key during storage and transport, and are only uncased and unlocked at the range. My ammunition is stored in Plano boxes in my walk-in closet which is exclusively mine to use.
- My lease expired about a month ago, and I believe it has lapsed into month-to-month. There is not currently an agreement in place. The previous agreement had no language specifically prohibiting firearms ownership or storage on the premises.
Does she have any grounds to do this? Is this even legal? I don't need to stay here and put up with her, but moving sucks and costs moneys. Thanks guys, sorry for the wall of text. | This state makes me sad. |
t3_2t2qap | relationships | My[24/F] fuck buddy [29/M] seems very distant lately, and I do not know what to do. | Okay, so I met my "friend" about 6 months ago on a trip to Nashville. After talking to him, we found out that we both live in the same city in Ohio. Since then, we have been basically been together. But not really...
An important detail of this is that we can never really be together officially. In about 9 nine months, he is moving to Nashville for good. Neither one of us want to do long distance so we both agreed to just have fun with what we are doing while it lasts.
We text each other almost everyday, or at least we did the first five months. We see other at least 2-3 times a week. That detail is still the same. But, here lately, I have been the one to start the conversations. He hasn't started a conversation with me in over a week. I am the one who always has to ask him to come over. I cannot remember the last time he asked to come over or invited me over to his place. In the beginning, he would always text me first, send me jokes, send me pictures, compliment me, invite me over to his place and now, I cannot remember the last time he sent me a joke or anything.
He seems very distance. It just isn't the same as it was in the beginning. I feel like he does not want me anymore, and I do not know if I should confront him about it. I don't know if I even have the right to confront him about it because we are not in a relationship, and I know we are not anything serious. Or am I overreacting? | I am in basically a "friends with benefits" relationship, but I feel my friend is no longer trying. I do not know if I have the right to confront him about it or if I am overreacting with the whole situation. |
t3_1quw3t | relationships | Me [21F] and my BF [21] have been together for 3 months and he dropped the L word. | So I've been with my boyfriend Chris* for 3 months. Yesterday we went to my sister's house. The night started of really fun. My sister and her husband asked if we wanted to play the drinking game Kings. We said sure. Everyone got pretty tipsy. By the end of the game by bf pulls the card that states you have to ask a question. Chris looks at me and says "Are you in love with me?" I was completely taken off guard by this question. We have not been together that long and I thought it was too soon to be asking questions like that. I froze and said "We can talk about this later." We stayed the night at my sisters because neither of us were in any condition to drive home. This morning he apologized and things were just really weird and awkward. I told him that I like him a lot and we are still getting to know each other. He looked sad but i preferred to be honest with him than lie. What should I make of this situation? How can I overcome the awkwardness? | Boyfriend asks if I love him during a drinking game. Now its awkward between us. |
t3_1baoev | relationship_advice | [22/m] I found my girlfriend (23) of 2.5 years has had feelings for a friend since high school. I don't think I can be with her anymore | I visited her (in another city) last weekend and stayed for a week with her. During that time, we had a rough few days arguing about little things, and it got to the point where she questioned my loyalty to her. She continued to ask me who I was texting and why I was texting them. I would tell her and explain that they're just friends and she doesn't have to be worried, but she didn't trust me. We then planned on going to visit my parents for the weekend. After a long night, we talked in bed and she started telling me that this guy is still texting her (I know their history, but didn't know there were still feelings). Apparently, her future with me isn't clear since I haven't been accepted to grad school yet. She loves me and cares about me but is afraid of the uncertainty. Further in the conversation she mentions her friend and how their friendship was one of things that "[she] has always wondered what could've been." She talks to him maybe once every 2-3 months and when they talk, those feelings are stronger; otherwise, they go through her head occasionally..even when she's with me. She says she doesn't think these feelings will ever go away. I asked her if she had to choose to stop talking to him and be with me or break up with me and she said she wasn't sure, but she wouldn't stop talking to him no matter what. She isn't sure if she can be with him because of distance and she's not even sure if it'll work out, but the fact that she has always kept him in the back of her mind has sustained her feelings for him. After hearing this, I can't be with her. I can't accept being with her knowing that she thinks about another guy even while she's with me and is unsure if she even wants to be with me. But it scares me being alone, and it also scares me that I am not sure if I'll be accepted to grad school or not. I'm afraid that I'll be rejected from grad school and no one will want to be with me because they'll think I'm a loser. | My gf has had feelings for another guy and isn't sure if she wants to be with me any more. She knows that she'll be missing a guy who treats her great and she loves me and my family, but she is having difficulty seeing a future with me because she doesn't know if I'll get into grad school and succeed in my career. I'm afraid of being alone so it's difficult to get myself to end it even though I know it's the right thing to do. |
t3_4aab1u | relationships | Me [20 M] with my friends' [20 F] girlfriends... | So, to start this off I know I am an asshole. I know what I do is wrong on so many levels and I hate myself for it.
I have a problem with sleeping with my close friends' girlfriends. I've slept with 4 of them. I had sex with one friend's girlfriend, and he in turn broke up with her. I met his new girlfriend about a month ago and I slept with her a couple of days ago, too... I've also had sex with 2 other friends' girlfriends. I don't know why I do it, and I'd like to know if anyone else has a problem with this.
At first I thought it was just alcohol impairing my judgement, but it happens even when I don't drink. It almost seems like I do it as a dominance related thing. Me, myself, I have never had a girlfriend. I'm not capable of being with a girl for any more than one night. Is it possible that I'm doing this out of spite for my friends' abilities to maintain a relationship while I can't do anything but have a one night stand?
Any advice on the subject will be appreciated, though simply calling me an asshole and saying I need to stop probably won't have much of an effect on the situation, as I already know that. | Can't stop sleeping with my friends' girlfriends. Help. |
t3_555tsn | relationships | (21/M) Me and her (22/f) have a long distance relationship. I feel like my GF doesn't feel the same way for me like she used to but she still tells me she loves me and wants to have a future with me even when I don't sometimes receive a text back from her in a few days. Super confused | I live in Europe and she lives in South America and last time we saw each other was 4 years ago but in that time we have been very connected and the last 1 year we started being a couple. The long distance thing is difficult but we know we won't cheat on each other. We talk almost every single day and we always talk about our future, our future kids, house, where we will live, how we will merry and that we will never leave each other's sides. I've never felt so strongly about any girl and I feel like she is the one but recently after she got a new job she has only had about 3 hours if her own free time and sometimes doesn't send me a message back or call for 3 days but when we do talk we still talk about out further and how we will never leave each other. More frequently she has been having these days when we don't talk and I have no idea what to think. Does she still have the same feelings? It really hurts tje heart when she doesn't reply or day anything for 3 days and you know it's not hard to send a text in 2 sec saying good night or good morning. I feel like there is hope because like I said when we do talk it's like we always talk. Anyone know why she is doing this? I tried asking her but she always turns the subject or ignores it. Hope someone might make things clear | Girlfriend and I used to be super close and I felt her live but now I feel like it's fading and she doesn't feel tje same like before. |
t3_4k5oji | relationships | Girlfriend of 2 years just broke up with me. Any advice? | She's 20 and I'm 21. We lived together this last year and have been together for 2 years. Shes my bestfriend. I enlisted in the AF and have been gone for 6 months now. I am getting stationed 3 hours away from home and come home in 2 weeks.
She said she tired of it. My jealousy, the long distance, our age, she's not ready. She's tired of all the stress and worry. She has two jobs and is going to school.
She said she still loves me and wants to see me when I come home. She wants to still be friends. She doesn't want this but she too unhappy. It's hard seeing me go and having to do all this long distance.
I don't know what to do. How should I go forward with this? Should I keep talking to her? Wait for her to talk to me? I just don't know. I don't have much faith though. God this sucks | Girlfriend of two years just broke up with me because of long distance and other factors. Looking for pointer and advice. |
t3_3m93sm | relationships | Me [21 M] with my SO [20 F] 1.5 years, Do i have the right to be mad? | She called me this morning waking me up, and I was not really there in the conversation because i was half asleep. She then got mad at me for not being so enthusiastic and we say bye. Cue the passive agressive talk and she tries to make it seem like my fault, but I'm so sure shes just being unreasonable. Could be pms.
After some back and forth, she texts me "Ok I'll just never call you again so we can avoid this situation altogether. You can call me whenever you're ready."
I'm fucking livid. No one talks to me like that. Give me the green light cuz I'm about to go OFF. Or should I just ignore her. Idk I'm just not going to encourage this type of behaviour. | GF being unreasonable (I think). She then said something highly disrespectful to me. |
t3_4b9g5v | relationships | Me [25 M] and my girlfriend [25 F] finally see eachother again after almost a year. And we both are slightly anxious. | Hey everyone!
So, one and a half year ago I met this girl. We met through mutual friends. We always had an eye on eachother but noone of us dared to make a move although we met quite regularly (but always in company with our friends). Almost a year ago, she had her goodbye-party since she was leaving Europe (where I am from) to go study in America. At that party we finally kissed and I stayed over night.
We have texted every single day from her departure until today. At first it was pretty much only smalltalk, but over the time we started talking about feelings, expectations and how much we miss each other actually although we weren't really dating by the time she left. Up until the point where we declared this as an actual relationship and started organizing a trip for me to come to visit her in America.
This trip is coming up next week and we both feel VERY excited, but also a little bit anxious. We will spend 2 weeks very close together, since I am staying at her place, but we are also going on a trip together. Most of the time is planned for activities like going the zoo or the theater or such things, the rest is reserved for cuddling. We talked a lot about what we expect and we are on the same page of all the things we talked about. Still we are worried that the time we have won't be as great as we anticipate. Now I just don't know what to make of it. | Meeting my girlfriend for the first time in a year of long distance relationship which developed during the time we were seperated. Kind of worried about what to expect. |
t3_wtpcs | loseit | I keep binge eating. Like once a week. Can't figure out why I'm so weak. | I've been trying to lose weight for a while. I was around 197 near the beginning of this year. The lowest I've been since is 173 pounds. This morning I weighed 185, up like 10 pounds from before I binged last night.
My problem is that I've been binge eating. It's gotten to the point where I seem to binge once a week. I usually try and fast until dinner the next day to make up for it, but lately I've been eating something at lunch the day after.
I can't talk about this with anyone, and I apologize if this isn't the forum for me to say this.
I need to figure out how to stop losing control so completely or I'll wind up right back around 200. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
I feel fucking weak and pathetic. I'm a 20 year old guy and I spend my days stressing about how I look and trying to diet. I try and stay positive but I get disheartened a lot by my lack of progress.
Sorry for the rant. If this isn't loseit material I'll delete the post. | I think my binges were the result of excessively severe calorie restriction and getting depressed and down on myself for not losing weight quickly enough. Moving forward I'm going to accept slower weight loss and avoid beating myself up. |
t3_17dohh | relationships | I (18F) am getting back together with ex boyfriend (20M) that I cheated on and need to apologize to his family. | We started dating when I was 15 and he was 17 and continued to date for over 2 years, until a few months ago when I wasn't happy in the relationship and cheated on him with a close friend of mine. I broke up with him right away and a lot of drama happened. I started dating the close friend and recently broke up with him.
My ex and I have started talking again and after a lot of consideration have decided to get back together and not make the same mistakes as last time. We know what went wrong and know now what to do/not to do.
When I cheated and broke his trust, I hurt his family a lot too. After being together for so long, I became extremely close with his family and spent much more time with them than my own family. The hardest thing about getting back together is facing his family again.
Tonight, we're having dinner with his family and we both decided it would be best to have a sort of "family meeting" so I can sit down with them and apologize and explain myself. I'm really nervous because I'm shy and have a hard time talking about my feelings. His family is the opposite, so it's extra hard.
I'm basically asking what I should say to them during this apology. Please upvote and answer since this is tonight and I don't have much time! | I need help figuring out what to say and how to apologize to the family of my ex boyfriend that I cheated on. |
t3_2vobtx | relationships | Me [27M] with my GF [25F] of ~2 years, considering breaking up | Me and GF have been together for 2 years, and lived together for about 1 year now. Everything is great and she is a super nice person..
This is my second girlfriend, last relationship lasted for about 6 years. Moving on from my first relationship i got straight in to this one.
So this is where i need your advice, guys..
Lately ive been getting concerned about missing out on "Living my life". Two long relationships, and not really any experimenting..
I know im starting to get to old to be a party-hero, and go out drinking multiple times every weekend, but still i feel like i would be able to go out for a good time atleast a couple times each month.
Ive started getting more and more curious about other girls. Since ive only been in two relationships im not sure what im missing (or dodging, if all other girls are crazy :) )
Beeing 27 i feel like im in the last part of my life where experimenting would be possible, looks will fade, and hair will magically dissapear soon im guessing..
So the dilemma here is that on one hand i have a great relationship, with only superficial problems.
On the other hand i want to look for something else, and be in the dating game for a while.
I have talked about this with my GF, and she have talked me down/out of it. By rationalizing it and making me feel like i would not get any other girls. She wants to stay together.
I dont know what i want the most, is it worth risking it?
It would be more expencive living on my own. It would suck feeling like ive dissapointed her parents. It would become boring on the week days. And i might never find a girl that i like in the same way again..
I feel like a confused coward, plz help me reddit.
............
Sorry if this is hard to read, my head is all over the place, and english is not my first language. | In a good relationship with only superficial problems, i want to see how the dating life is. |
t3_1tr9w3 | relationships | My [22F] SO [27M] tends to make slightly inappropriate jokes around my conservative family | My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half, and I love him dearly. However, he tends to make off-color jokes around my family and friends, which I'm worried will make people uncomfortable. My family is a bit more traditional and conservative than my boyfriend and our friends. For example, my boyfriend and I drink a good bit; my family does not. Often when he's around my family he makes jokes about getting drunk, etc. My boyfriend's family is very different from mine, so I imagine it's hard for him to understand the standards of propriety in my family.
My family has never mentioned it, and they all seem to like my boyfriend very much. However my sister is getting married in a week, and he will be meeting my entire extended family at the wedding. They are also fairly conservative by our standards, and I don't want him to say anything that could potentially scandalize them. I've already warned him to not drink too much at the reception and not to draw attention to his drinking. I don't know how to suggest that he censor his jokes a bit more without making him feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. I'm sure he is already nervous about meeting my extended family and I want him to be as relaxed as possible. Is there a way to tell him to act a bit more polite and proper without offending or embarrassing him? | My boyfriend will be meeting my (conservative/traditional) extended family in a week. How can I tell him to ease up on the crass jokes without making him feel bad? |
t3_5324px | relationships | Me [26 M with my girlfriend [21 F] everytime i try to break up with her i feel like i get even more trapped | Ive been with this girl for 3 years, i just dont feel the spark anymore. I want out plain and simple, that doesnt mean i dont feel like or feel like i'll miss her, but in the long run i know this isnt for me. I tried breaking up with her yesterday, at first she told me to leave but as i was packing my stuff she broke down and cried, saying stuff like "you're my best friend, i dont know what ill do without you" things a long those lines. So an hour or two passed with her blocking the door saying she doesnt believe anything im saying and knows this isnt the end for us, and knows i still love her. I told her repeatedly that we were wasting each others time and i dont feel like there is anything here anymore. She kept saying it's too much to walk away from and she feels the same way but knows it can be fixed, she said something along the lines of "i wish every day i could feel the same way i did about you 3 years ago". She is a burn survivor who has scars 80% on her body and has massive anxiety from it, i feel like a caretaker and i know im a big reason se can cope through life. Basically the attempt ended with her blocking the door until i said i would give it one more try, but i cant shake the feeling i know its pointless. Sorry reddit, i know the answer is simple, but i just need to vent. I don't have many people i can talk to anymore about this, I have my best friend, but he's never been in a serious relationship and can't understand the situation. | Girlfriend insists things can be fixed, my gut is telling me i want to break up. Keeps me in the house long enough for me to doubt myself. |
t3_2vknpt | relationships | I (21f) don't really care for weed. My bf (21m) smokes. Is this just doomed to fail? | We have been dating for 5 months.
We are in a good relationship, and everything is going well. We see each other every day, have fun, and just general good vibes. We care for each other very very much. We'll be graduating in May from college.
Now, I love him, but I can't get it out of my head how much weed bothers me. I never really publicly say it, but he and our mutual friends know I don't really smoke. Only recently have I been kind of accepting it, but I don't feel anything really. An ex of mine used to smoke everyday, stole money from me to buy it, and so a lot of my negative connotation comes from this probably. But before that happened, he got me to smoke with him, and it felt good and I would do it as well, and didn't mind as much until he became an asshole.
He really is a good person and cares for me. But I'm afraid I'm just going to resent him for it at some point. He doesn't even really abuse it like others I've seen. I just don't like the concept. Do I just get over it? It seems like it's impossible to find anyone that doesn't smoke at least a little. Or will that never really happen, and I should just break up with him when we graduate and just fade away from him? I guess I just need outside perspective on whether my thoughts are dumb or not. | My really attentive and caring boyfriend smokes weed a couple times a week. This bothers me for some reason, but I don't want to tell him not to do it. Will this just not work out, or is my brain being overly dramatic? |
t3_r5992 | AskReddit | Sub Reddit mutiny: What options does a Redditor have when a sub-reddit is being moderated by those the sub-r was made to speak out against? | As a regular Redditor, who subscribes to a sub-reddit of some social importance - especially now, where the topic is sharing the stage with American politics - and has watched that sub devolve to one of the things is was meant to fight against, what are my options?
The mods running the sub are the most intolerant, ignorant, racist freakshows I've encountered on Reddit. I just don't understand how a sub that is meant to promote tolerance, equality, education, acceptance and human rights has transformed into something that condones and encourages the exact opposite. How is it acceptable that a moderator from a sub that promotes violence against one race of humans, is deemed suitable to mod a sub of another group of people who have been oppressed and hidden for most of their existence?
I realized last night that I wasn't checking that sub feed for the latest news or for the latest story of intolerance successfully suppressed, but I was checking for the latest update in the drama - what was the latest outrageous, or ignorant rule being enforced ( who had been added to the perpetually growing list of banned subscribers, what latest fuckery was being cited in ShitRedditSays, or CompleteJackassesOfReddit...
I know I'm not the only subscriber of that sub that feels this way. So, any ideas of what a regular Redditor can do to restore some sort of dignity to a sub?
*** This will probably only be up until the freakshow mods get the AskReddit mods to take this down - and quick ideas would be appreciated. | I need DIY instructions for a sub-Reddit coup-d'etat |
t3_45zjbq | personalfinance | How can I get a loan for surgery | I'm a 20 year old male who suffers from gyno(moobs) I'm 6ft 160 and is in pretty good shape. I did sports and I work out. But I never was able to get rid of the moobs. I know surgery is the only way. This place near me does the surgery for 5000$ they offer financing at 99$/ a month. They told me to try websites like alphaeoncredit.Com and unitedmedicalcredit.Com to get approved. Now being 20, not in school with no debt yet credit. I have a decent job for my age making about 400 a week. But I'm off the books so dont have pay stubs. How can I get a loan to finally be at harmony with my body and mind. I feel like once I get this done I'll finally have 100% confidence. Now I guess I'm asking how can I go about this best? Or is there other ways I can go about it? Or is there a billionaire reading this trying help a guy out? | how do I get a loan |
t3_4zbutq | relationships | My wife and I[23M/F] have a neighbor[83M] who's wife is dying of cancer. How can we help them? | So my wife and I just got married a few months ago(together for 8 years before that, including a 2 year engagement). We move in to our first home together after the honeymoon and get settled in. I am full time military with very long hours and wife is full time masters student at the local university.
When we met this neighbor, we both walked away thinking that this was the nicest old man we have ever met. We have built a relationship with him since living there. He helps us with everything from borrowing tools to giving pointers on gardening etc etc. Any time I'm mowing the lawn, he will come outside to just chit chat with me for a while. He always says, "I love helping young folks with anything you need as long as you promise to pass it on when you're old like me." We even made some banana bread for them one time.
He says his wife(not sure of age, but they have been married 49 years) has already beaten cancer once, ~30 years ago. Since they are so far along in life, they are not treating it this time because it would be too harsh on her body and would rather just enjoy life while they can. She stays inside for obvious reasons, have only seen her a couple times.
Starting about a month ago, all kinds of different people/cars would be coming to their house bringing flowers etc. I left for a couple weeks on an assignment, getting back this week and he is always gone now. We assume his wife in the hospital because his car usually never leaves the house besides maybe a few times a week. This week he's constantly coming and going and spending a lot of time out.
So my question is: this awesome, super nice, old man would do anything for us youngins and we feel that we need to give back and help him as he goes through this. I don't want to get in the way of anything or make him feel any worse than he already does. How can my wife and I help him? | wife and I believe neighbor's wife is going to pass soon(cancer) and we want to help him in some way without making it worse or getting the way. |
t3_4ekrhg | relationships | My [23F] mother [56F] treats my brother [25M] like he is her husband. | I felt the need to start a discussion about this. I'll keep it as succinct as possible. I had the realization today that my mother treats my brother like this. To my knowledge there has been nothing sexual going on. It seems to make sense...
Parents divorce when children are at a young age. First born son becomes "man of the house"...
Mother never had the self-esteem to pick the right person for herself, doesn't try again. Depression runs household. Kids grow up in daycare, firstborn takes on responsibility to help raise younger sibling (me). Mother has passive-aggressive, guilt tripping behaviour due in part to being raised that way, another part due to the depression.
Firstborn is raised as her assistant, later in life becomes her only companion, doing husband-like activities with her, tasks for her...
Fast forward to now: mom keeps referring to her and my brother as "we"... calls him "hon"... only started doing that about a year ago, she's only ever called her SO's that. The few she's had.
My stomach is turning even writing this.
This realization has disturbed me greatly. My brother has been so depressed for so long. Has never had a girlfriend, is well passed the age to start that kind of thing. Seems to only hang out with my mom.
He was fighting it for a long time, now it seems like he's accepted it. The guilt is holding him prisoner, but he has always been completely innocent.
I don't know how to tell him what I see. Or if I ever should. I doubt my mother understands what she's done.
I want to set him free... he's my best friend. | my brother has a mommy dearest relationship and doesn't stick up for himself to my mom because she manipulates him with guilt. |
t3_3727gw | dogs | [DISCUSSION] Can my dog get too much exercise? | Hello! I have a BC/Corgi mix. She's about a year and a half old. Super high energy.
I have her go to the beach 3 times a week with a "doggy adventure" group. They take a number of dogs out to play together. She gets picked up at around 9am and she comes home at around 4pm. Although beach time is usually only about 2-3 hours, it's usually a very intense few hours. Filled with lots of running, chase, and play. I have a fitbit type tracker and she definitely gets lots of intense running in during that time.
She comes home pooped.
I have her go for a calming one hour walk the other 2 days of the week while I'm at work. And a walk, play or park when I get back. And weekends are filled with going to the dog park, the regular park, walks and/or play.
The doggy adventure group asked if I wanted to go the two other days and she'd match my hour long dog walker's price. I'm afraid 5 days a week might be a little too tiring for her. I mean, she is a working dog so I figure it might be fine once she gets use to it but...
If she gets use to it... would this also cause problems later on? Say I move away from the area and no longer have access to something so highly intensive? I don't want her to get destructive later on if I can't provide her the same amount of exercise. If I have a child later in life and become a stay at home mom. I can definitely play with her and take her out but it'll never be the same as running around at full speed with other dogs for a couple hours. | Can a BC mix get too much exercise? Even if not would this be a problem later on if I can't provide the same amount of exercise? |
t3_4wd9c8 | relationships | Me [21M] and my Dad [53M] argue about my mental health more often than I'd like. | I am a 21 year old, male, college dropout, working as a manager for a pizzeria in my home town, still living with my parents. I dropped out about two years ago, mostly due to a very nasty burst of depression, and have since gotten my mental state back under control. I live a mostly happy and fulfilling life, and am getting ready to move out before this time next year.
My Dad [53M] has been a psychologist for 26 years, and views me and my brother [23M] as very lazy and unhealthy people. The only times my dad and I interact, in more than passing, are my days off, where he peeks into my room, asks if I worked that day, complains about my blinds being down and me being "in there all day". He then proceeds to tell me I am depressed, a shut in, and unhealthy.
Despite his assertions I go out with friends regularly twice a week and exercise daily, and a psychologist, and psychiatrist have both said said my mental state is under control. My brother used to have similar disagreements with our dad, but since he moved out six months ago, I've been the center of his disapproval and concern.
I won't be able to move out for a few months yet, as my roommate needs to get some affairs in order, and I would like to enjoy my days off without lectures on how my happy, stable life is not happy, or stable enough. | My Dad is a psychologist, and believes I am living my life in a way that is detrimental to my mental health. I suffer from chronic depression, but have it under control and two professionals have said I am functional and do not need medication. |
t3_52p8e6 | askwomenadvice | Please offer some advice on how I can stop fantasising about having sex with my male friends? (X-Post r/AskWomen) | I have such a high libido, and as a single woman I greatly enjoy casual sex and am always happy to flirt with someone new and attractive. However, I have a fair few male friends who I genuinely love as people and love having in my life, and I don't want to fuck that up.
My question is how do I stop fantasising about these friends of mine? I am constantly imagining friends of mine and myself having sex, sometimes even while I'm talking to them! It's not OK and I feel like I'm objectifying them and diminishing our friendship.
PLEASE give me some helpful tips and strategies on how to compartmentalise my libido, how to stop fantasising about my friends and how to stop flirting so much! I have such a flirty personality and I'm kind of over it because people constantly get mixed messages from me which I hate. It's my own fault and I just want to know how to calm the fuck down. Has anyone else had this problem? Please help!
Thank you so much in advance <3 | Sick of constantly objectifying my male friends by fantasising about them and being almost unable to not have sex with them when they offer. |
t3_36kdvc | relationships | Me [27 M] with my GF [24F] of 4 years. We broke up for 2 weeks and got back togeather, I told her I slept with another woman in that time, and now she's upset. How can I make her feel better? | My girlfriend, Christie, and I broke up about 3 weeks ago over some stupid shit. Recently, we talked it out and worked out some problems and ended up getting back togeather. We were only broken up for about 2 weeks, during which time, we had no contact.
After we got back together, we had a long talk, and it came out that about a week after breaking up, I slept with some random girl I met at a party. Christie is really upset about this, and feels betrayed. I feel horrible for it, and I want to make her feel better. Is there anything I can do? Any advice?
Oh, and just to mention, I don't really have much recollection of that night, I honestly woke up in a random stranger's bed. I got pretty barred out on Xanax before going to the party, and literally the last memory I had of that night was like 10 minutes after getting there and saying hi to an old buddy of mine. After that I don't remember anything and have 0 idea hwat happened, I just know that the next morning I woke up naked next to some random girl. | broke up with gf for 2 weeks, got geeked up, had sex with random girl, now gf is upset. |
t3_3wgkdj | relationship_advice | My (21f) boyfriend (20m) of 2 months isn't really affectionate unless we are physically together. | So I'm in Japan doing an exchange study trip and I'll be staying for a year. This October I met this one guy and we hit it off awesomely, We became a couple a week after we met.
Now the thing is, he tells me he loves me and when we are together we are very romantic but I'm always the one who has to invite him to my house. He rarely comes on his own. I'm tired of always initiating everything and as much as I love him I don't know if he sees me as just a temporary thing or if he is just not that into couple stuff.
He also does not want me to go to his house which makes me very sad. I have come to believe that maybe he likes me but thinks I'm not good enough for his parents. | Boyfriend of 2 months never initiaties anything and I'm always the one who has to invite him over to hang out. If not for me he'd never visit me. |
t3_3k77m1 | relationships | How do I [20F] stop obsessing/fb stalking the girl [21F] my boyfriend [20M] cheated on me with. | As the title suggests my boyfriend cheated on me. It was about 8 months into our relationship that I first heard about it (not through him initially). The drama all went down during our final year exams, so instead of dealing with it then I decided to wait until after my exam finished. The 'waiting period' however didn't go to plan and we still messaged each other and briefly saw each other during study breaks. After exams we ended up officially getting back together. It took me awhile to trust again, at the beginning I constantly had to check his phone to make sure he wasn't messaging anyone else, but I have gladly moved on from that stage and have my trust in him back.
I am honestly happy with our relationship at the moment, I never thought I would be the one to forgive a cheater and at the start the 'once a cheater, always a cheater' would do rounds in my head, but I am glad I gave him a second chance or we wouldn't have what we do now.
The problem I have though is that even 2 years after it happened, I still find myself looking at the girl he cheated on me with's profile (i.e. not following on instagram but will always find myself looking at her posts and the same with Facebook). I don't know why I do it to myself because it brings up feelings of annoyance and anger with HER, not him, even though it was him betraying me not her (I didn't/don't know her personally, apart from in regards to this). I thought time would help me get over it, but it hasn't and I'm honestly questioning whether I'll ever be able to let this fully go! It's even made me question whether we should stay together, if I am still obsessing over it. Any advice would be appreciated! | Boyfriend cheated, we stayed together but 2 years on and I still check the 'other' girl's social accounts..HELP |
t3_2p0181 | tifu | TIFU By Sitting on A Girl's Face | Okay, so this happened in 5th grade, which was 5 years ago. I remember it clearly because of how embarrassing it was. In our P.E. class, we had these ropes to climb on. There was about a week dedicated to rope stuff (I don't remember exactly what though; stuff like climbing, etc.) and at the end, we got to swing and jump off of the rope (onto foam pads, of course). So when it was my turn, I got ready. At the same time, one of my best friends (both current and at the time) was getting ready to swing too. So what happened was, we both ended up swinging at the same time. It would have been fine, but she let go before I did and, somehow, one or both of us jumped more towards the other person. I let go after she did, and I ended up with my butt landing on her face. Everybody started laughing, including us, and my face turned all red. She also said that I had a bony butt. The embarrassment was real. | We were swinging and jumping off of ropes in 5th grade. My ass landed on a girl's face and I learned that I had a bony butt. |
t3_28d6we | relationships | I [19F] am having issues trusting my partner of two & a half years and I don't know why. | I have generalized anxiety disorder but it's been getting worse over the past few months. I've been cheated on in the past, sexually assaulted, and verbally, emotionally and physically abused.
Lately, I am having issues with trusting my partner. We've been together for two & a half years, but these issues have only arisen in recent months, and I don't know why. He has never done anything to suggest that I shouldn't trust him. I'm questioning a lot of things, and asking for reasons for things. Either way, it's been affecting our relationship. We've been bickering regularly and I always end up apologizing and crying and feeling like the shittest girlfriend because I can't seem to shake the recurring, negative thoughts from my brain.
Just recently, he went away with a group of his male friends for a "boys getaway" with people who don't really tickle my fancy. My anxiety was crippling at this point because he was the only person with a girlfriend in his group. I don't like that particular group that he went with because I've heard the way they talk about other people, how they treat women and such and it's absolutely disgusting. I was worrying about everything, even the irrational and the impossible.
I don't know if this is simply an issue with my anxiety or if it's an actual relationship issue and I don't know what to do.
**I am in therapy. | I have recently developed trust issues with my partner of two and a half years, and I don't know if it's due to a problem in our relationship or if it's just my anxiety. |
t3_3h7kvc | relationships | I [26 F] have anger attacks against my ex [30 M]. What should I do? | I had a horrible break up, it's been almost 2 years now and I'm still not over the trauma. He was cheating on me for around 6 months, he treated me horribly but made me feel guilty if I wanted to leave. It was just so horrible. Eventually a friend of his told me that he has another girlfriend.
I was in pure shock and texted him. After that he did not want to talk to me anymore, he just texted me that he never played with me (of course he did!!!) And that he wishes me a good life. His friend told me that they've already booked their flights to meet his parents (on the other side of the world).
I feel so used and humiliated especially as they're still together and happy. It hurts and I feel disgusted about myself. I can't let go and move on i just keep on thinking what i want to shout at him and how to take revenge. I know I shouldn't but the desire is soo strong. | My ex has been cheating on me fir months and is still happy with the girl he's cheated on me. I have anger attacks and think about revenge. What should I do? |
t3_4462ca | relationships | Me [26F] with my LDR Boyfriend [26M] might not really like me because I'm not Asian? | I'm from Eastern Europe and we've been together now for about 6 years, I met my Asian boyfriend while I was studying abroad in his country (North America).
After dating in person for about 2 years I had to return back to my country and we started dating long distance while I make the transition to permanently move to his country. However I've noticed some strange habits that are making me think that perhaps he's not really physically attracted to me.
My country (at least some of the older people) can be a tad Xenophobic. When he came to visit me I would instantly shoot down any remark someone would say, regardless of whether he understood it or not.
However I've recently returned from a trip abroad and it's making me feel unnerved. His family would constantly go on about how fat I am and say things like "That is what you get when you date a white girl!". His friend once remarked how he doesn't get to see me much anyway and that he should start dating a "cute Asian girl close by". I mean, I know people can be mean but mostly my BF would nod and agree to these things- WITH ME PRESENT!!
I've asked him if he is attracted to me and he just kind of shrugged. I don't know what that means. Now I've returned and he is sending me all these "I miss you", "I miss holding you in my arms." all these texts but when we are together in person it is like he is ashamed of me??
I know I could stand to lose some weight. I'm about 167 cm (5 ft 6 in) and weight 66kg.
Is this normal? Are customs in my country just different? Is there something I can do to be more Asian for him? | BFs friends and family call me fat and imply that I'm ugly and BF agrees/ doesn't react. Is this normal behavior? |
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