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t3_ikp5d | AskReddit | I received a call from Mcdonalds about a job opening, but it went to voice mail and now the person won't answer their phone. | Yesterday afternoon, around 5 PM, I received a call from a lady that works at Mcdonalds. I had applied there two weeks ago and she was calling to set up an interview. However, I was away from the phone at the time and it was on vibrate, so the call went to voice mail. It was 11 PM when I noticed the call and I decided to call her first thing in the morning about the job (she specifically said to call her back, in her message). So I woke up the next morning around 8:30 and gave my body some time to wake the fuck up. I ended up returning her call at 9:30, but she didn't answer and I left a message. So I waited a little and called her again at 12, but still no answer. I have been by the phone all day and she hasn't returned my call. It is now almost 10 PM and still no call. | A call about a potential job opening went to voice mail and I called back in the morning, but I received no answer. |
t3_3qvtvf | relationships | Me [19 M] at University, found out parents are separating. | I'm third year at university in the UK. Just found out my parents [46 F and 53 M] are separating as apparently my mum fell in love with another man. Have a sister [17 F] in her last year of school back home. How should I help my family during this time?
I currently fine to carry on life as normal as this doesn't really affect my day to day. I haven't broken down and am currently adopting the 'shit happens' approach. I feel my dad gets the worse out of this as it is my mum leaving him. Should I call him?
I really don't know what to do, or if I should do anything. | At Uni, parents getting divorce, not really reacting to it. Should I talk to my family? |
t3_15goz4 | self | It was just another shitty day.. Until I realized it was Christmas :/ | Well, my family doesn't really do Christmas. We are not close, at all. And, the immediately family is relatively poor. We exchange gifts on Christmas Eve, if we exchange them at all.
But, I'm a 23 year old stripper. Who is not close with her family, and rarely sees them. Even on the holidays.
Sooo like I have every year for the past several, I ended up going to work after my non-eventful holiday.
First, there was the guy who asked if I did blow (ftr, I've never touched a drug in my life).
Then, there's the guy who repeatedly asks if he can feel my tits.
My only ray of light in this scenario is, well.. At least he asked.
From there, I meet the "I'm going to kill you" creepy ass man..
And end the night with a lesbian pretending to date a man because he has a lot of money (reminds me of my whore ex-gf, actually) who BITES MY ASS. I think she fucking bruised it. WTF white people.
Oh yeah and of course me and now ex-boyfriend got into a huge fight and broke up. I left work to start removing my things from his house. Which sucks, because my current roommate wants me out of the house ASAP so his gf can move in and utilize my room as storage. | Got insulted, molested, and had my heart broken on Christmas Day. Oh. And I'm next to homeless. |
t3_3e07m0 | relationships | I [25/F] can't handle being in different life stages with long-distance bf [25/M]. 3 years of dating & losing hope for the future... help? | When we first started dating in 2012, I was fresh out of college, and he was taking time off of school. We fell in love and agreed to date, even though we're a 2.5 hour drive away from each other. It worked well for a little while - we love all the same things, share the same political views, we're good at splitting the bill, call/text each other every day, and visit every other weekend. He made me happy with his carefree positive attitude and I helped motivate him to achieve more; it was a balance.
Now it's 3 years later, and I am quickly realizing that I'm ready for my "grown-up" life to begin... I save money, jump on career opportunities, plan for the future, and I'm trying to get my own apartment. Unfortunately, despite being the sweetest guy ever, he has not really changed since I met him: his poor money habits scare the crap out of me, he doesn't plan anything out, and after changing his major *again* he still has 1 more year of school. He IS doing much better in school now, but his GPA from before was pretty low, and he still hasn't gotten an internship or joined a student group in order to make up for that (he "tries" but has never followed through).
I've felt like a nagging mother lately, which is unhealthy, exhausting, and discouraging. I'm ready for an adult relationship, but he acts like a teenager when it comes to real-life scenarios. I love him so much, and his personality makes me happy... but it sucks having to carry ALL the adult burdens. On top of that, I wonder if giving up my weekends for him is causing me to neglect my own life (missing out on social things, not getting a dog like I wanted to, not joining groups/clubs, etc.).
Is love enough, and I'm just being selfish? Or is it really time for me to call quits on this? :( Thanks... | Dating for 3 years, 2.5 hrs apart the whole time; he's still in school for another year, I've had a real job this whole time; is it worth the wait or should I abandon hope? |
t3_14nn1i | relationships | I (m/21) think I am about to break it off with my first love (f/23) | I (21/m) am on the verge off breaking it off with my first real love (23/f). We have been together for 5 years. And have recently moved in to a new place 3 months ago. I dont know if I can do it. I am asking all the typical questions, what if I regret? what if there is nobody else out there?
It has been a steady decline in our relationship for a while now. Absolutely no communication whatsoever. And I recognise the fact that I have grown into a different person in the last 5 years. Our interests have changed. We hardly go out socially together.
I just don't want to live with the regret of not finding someone I truely click with, because at the moment its not her. Can she grow into a different person like I have? Or am I kidding myself on banking on that?
I love her, she is a great girl, I just recognise that it has been a great time and it may be at its end now.
In the end, I just don't know... I am in a terribly confusing place. | About to take the jump, I need some advice to break it off as lightly as possible and leave on good terms. I love her, but the relationship isn't working. |
t3_1kp4uy | relationship_advice | (M/19) First Breakup - Trouble Getting Over her, bad situation overall | I am a junior in college. My girlfriend and I started dating last year. It was both of our first relationships. Everything was great, but over the summer we knew it would be hard because we wouldn't be able to see each other over the summer.
I ended up becoming really distant and I pushed her away and she broke up with me in July. Hit me pretty hard and I tried contacting her and apologizing twice and she didn't reply to either of them.
Now that we moved back into the dorms, I am just realizing how different my day to day will be without her. And she lives on my floor. I tried talking to her apologizing, but she has no interest in getting back together.
Like I know I have done pretty much everything wrong with trying to talk to her and stuff, but I just can't get over her.
I am in a pretty bad friend situation too. I was supposed to move off campus with my two good friends, but at the last minute one of their friends decided not to study abroad so he got the spot instead of me. So I am just staying at the dorms with no one I know.
Last year I pretty much just hung out with all her friends, but I can't really do that now.
I can't imagine this year without her. I am just anxious all the time, and it's killing me. I can hardly eat, I can't sleep and I have like periodic anxiety attacks throughout the day. Losing her is like my single biggest regret. I just don't know what is was being isolated for so long over the summer, I just felt like a different person. I hate being alone but this is like the the most alone I have ever been.
I don't know what to do now. | first breakup, sucks, away from friends, dont know what to do |
t3_29px84 | relationships | My boyfriend [21 M] has been talking down to me [22 F] a lot lately. How do I bring it to his attention without causing problems? | My SO and I have been together for three years, and for the most part I am really happy in this relationship.
Except lately, maybe within the last few months, he has been talking down to me and answering my questions with loads of heavy, unnecessary sarcasm. He uses the most condescending tone of voice and talks to me as if I am stupid.
A few weeks ago we had a good talk about it, but I don't feel like he really got the message because he is still doing it just as often as before I brought it up.
I really don't know what to do. It's becoming unbearable and I feel horrible for this resentment I feel toward him because of this issue.
Maybe he's unhappy and doesn't know how to tell me? | Boyfriend talks to me like I'm dumb and I'm not sure how to handle it. |
t3_11qqlz | relationship_advice | I thought one of my managers and I were friends - maybe not? | So I work at both a full-time job and a part time (about nights a week) retail job. One of my managers at the part time job is a guy who's about my age. We have a lot of interests in common (books, movies, etc.) and we'd often chat about stuff/joke around when we were on the floor. There was no flirting or anything (I have a boyfriend and I love him lots), but I thought we were at least friendly. He recently got a promotion and will be moving to a store across the country. I realized that because of the way our schedules lined up, I wouldn't see him before he left. I knew he'd been pursuing this job, and I just wanted to say congrats. I know pretty much everyone in the store's last name because our names are posted by the registers for commission purposes, so I looked him up on facebook (we weren't friends) and sent him a quick message just saying something along the lines of "Congrats on getting the job, I don't think I'm gonna see you and I just wanted to wish you luck!" I also thanked him (one sentence) for a beer recommendation he'd given me that I'd really enjoyed (normal conversation fodder for us). Not only did he not reply, but a few days later he blocked me on facebook. Is what I did that creepy? I honestly would have done the same thing for any person who I've worked with and wouldn't get a chance to say bye to. Now I'm feeling like I broke some unspoken rule that I'm unaware of. I just wanted to get a mass consensus for the future if what I did could weird people out. | One of my work friends got a promotion and is moving across the country; I will not see him before he leaves. I went on facebook and sent him a congratulatory message only to get no response and be blocked. Is what I did creepy? |
t3_2eidmi | relationships | My ex [35 F] and I [24 M] of 1 year shared the exact same passions in life. How do I embrace my passions again if they remind me of her? | Hello r/relationships !
My ex (35F) and I (24M) broke up about 4 months ago. We shared the exact same interests, passions, and outlooks. Since the break-up, I have struggled to embrace my passions again because I still associate them with her. Sometimes, I feel a sense of negativity whenever I try to do the things I once enjoyed. If I am sharing my passions with a friend, I feel fearful that they too will identify with the activity and it'll become their passion as well... which makes me fearful of forming close relationships with them since they'll remind me of my ex.
My passions are integral to my identity. I would feel incomplete if I were to abandon them and seek something else (because I don't think anything else can 'replace' them). But, it's also difficult to do what I enjoy(ed) when they remind me of my ex.
Shortly after the break-up, I started working-out, volunteering, and socializing with friends (occasionally) to ease the pain, and it has worked. Indeed, I am generally happy, confident and content -- it's just when I want to do the things I identify with on a deeper level, I cannot rid them of memories (and negative thoughts) of my ex.
Is this merely a case of 'time will heal all wounds'? How do I embrace my passions again if they remind me of her? | My ex and I broke up 4 months ago. We shared the exact same passions in life. I cannot do the things I once enjoyed without being reminded of her. Because of this, my passions usually evoke negative or fearful feelings. How do I 'reclaim' my passions? |
t3_415rpr | relationships | Me [23F] with my boyfriend [24M] of 10 months, his brother [26M] doesn't trust me because I'm friends with my ex-husband from a marriage of convenience | When I was 18, my best friend and I got married so we could have an excuse to pool our (meager) finances and get the hell out of our conservative, poor, dysfunctional hick town. Everyone was extremely Christian and if we'd left as friends or, worse, unmarried boyfriend and girlfriend, everyone would have been horrified and tried to stop us. My family situation was really, really bad and his wasn't much better, so we got out. We stayed married until we were almost 21, then split.
We were never in love. We kissed once, ever, on our wedding day, and joked later that it was like kissing a sibling. We've always been best friends and nothing more, and I'll always be grateful because he helped me with this crazy scheme to get out of our hometown.
Anyways, now I've been seeing a new guy, who's wonderful. His brother is his closest friend, and his brother also CANNOT GET OVER that I'm such good friend with my "ex." He insists it's weird and fucked up that I still routinely talk to, hang out with, laugh with, etc. somebody I used to be married to--even though I've explained many times that our marriage was literally a total sham.
My boyfriend isn't insecure about it except when his brother really needles him about it. Boyfriend's brother will be really hurtful, too, and say stuff like "can you really trust a chick who tricked somebody into marrying her if she never even liked him?" I didn't "trick" my "ex" into anything; we were always friends who made a plan together.
Anyways, my boyfriend and I are starting to get quite serious, and I really like this guy, but his brother won't stop with this. I won't sacrifice my relationship with my completely platonic best friend (who has a girlfriend of his own, mind you) just because some guy can't understand the idea of a marriage of convenience to get out of a dire situation, but I love my boyfriend and my boyfriend loves and looks up to his brother. I need advice on how to convince everyone involved that all is well. | Married my platonic best friend at 18 to get away from a bad situation. Divorced for 2 years, never even made out with him. New bf's brother is CONVINCED our relationship--the marriage and our continuing friendship--says bad things about my character. Help? |
t3_2onlzs | relationships | Me [22], no matter what I do I just can't seem to be able to hold conversations with women. What to do? | I've had problems maintaing conversations with people my entire life. After initial small talk i just can't seem to say anything and my mind goes blank.
Once I started Univeristy I made a conscious decision to improve myself in which I decided to :
- go and speak to as many people as I can anywhere and about anything
- Join as many clubs and activities as possible
- go see a psychiatrist
- read lots of self improvement and confidence books
- go out most nights during the week and socialising
Having did all these things for the last 3 years I have seen no improvement at all. It hurts so much when women approach me to only see them soon after having to awkwardly make an excuse to leave the conversation as it is not going anywhere and I'm boring her to tears. I even went to the doctors for a check up to see if I have any speech impairments or disabilities but they all tell me I'm perfectly healthy.
Please can someone in a similar situation help me? I just don't know what to do anymore. I've exhausted all avenues and I still can't get anywhere. | I've been patient and tried almost everything to help myself learn at maintaining and holding conversations with people and more specifically women, but I still can't talk to them properly. What to do? |
t3_2lltrh | relationships | Me [23F] with my Mum [60F], I can't get her to understand mental illness, and she continually does and says hurtful things. | I got handed the short straw. I have Bipolar II, OCD, and Asperger's Syndrome. I see a psychiatrist regularly, take my meds, and still am significantly impacted on a regular basis. I have accepted this, and I do my best to do what I can when I can.
But the thing is, my mother manages to say *something* every time we talk. It ranges from telling me to "drink warm milk" to sleep when I'm up for a 36 hours at a time without feeling tired during mania, to turning things I divulged in confidence into "funny talking points" with people I barely know, in front of me.
It's gotten to a point where unless I'm having a really good day, I screen her calls, avoid replying to texts and emails, and this results in her sending a text or email telling me I'm various shades of inconsiderate and horrible and to stop hiding behind excuses.
The longest times I do this are during depressive periods, which is obviously the worst time to receive such messages.
I have attempted to explain this several times, but she seems unable to grasp that my symptoms aren't like normal people emotions and feelings. I don't cry because something bad happened, I cry because my body made the chemicals most people have when something bad happened. I can't just 'not do' things my compulsive disorder is making me feel like I have to do. I can't do normal things to fall asleep when the only thing that's telling me I've been awake for longer than normal is eye irritation. My problem isn't a lack of willpower, it's a legitimate illness.
I know she doesn't mean to have this effect on me, but it doesn't really change the fact that one of the people with the most emotional influence is invalidating my life experience.
Please help. | My Mum is consistently insensitive about my mental illness, ranging from advice to jokes. I can't seem to make her understand it is a real thing. Help? |
t3_2ctzv4 | relationships | Am I in love? Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] 3.5 months. | I met my girlfriend online in late april and talked extensively online every day since and we have been officially dating about 1.5 months now. I go to school near her but live at home during the summer so we visit for both days of every weekend now for the last 2 months.
We both never dated much (me not at all), both were super picky. I always thought I would just know with the girl I really liked and I pretty much do with my current girlfriend and I am fairly intuitive and it is fairly obvious she feels the same way too.
I spend every spare moment talking to her and spend most of my day thinking about her. I liked her so much that at the beginning of the relationship I was secretly quite insecure about losing her so I got all those gooey infatuation feelings. I still get them when I see her on weekends and when we are affectionate together I just feel like I can't get enough of her (not sex btw). I can see her imperfections and even those seem to make her perfect for me.
Although, maybe I'm a little OCD about it but I feel like I am quite secure with our relationship now and when I am away I don't get those infatuation feelings as much. I am also on anti-depressants which I know affect me like an emotional anesthetic. Commitment freaks me out enough to usually make me not even want to date someone but I can say confidently that with this girl, I would not be upset to spend the rest of my life with her in the least. I just worry that my lack of infatuation/missing her when she is away means that I don't love her.
Is love a choice? How do you know if you are in love? | I love her in every way but am not constantly infatuated and/or missing her. How do you know if you are in love? |
t3_mpjr4 | AskReddit | Employer extended me an offer and then reduced it via email by $14,000 after a week with no explanation or deadline extension. | I received an offer with an annual salary of X and a monthly base rate of Y. I noticed that 12*Y did not equal X, but instead a number $14,000 less than X. I asked HR about this and suggested they miscalculated the monthly rate, only to receive a very short email saying they made a mistake and the offer is supposed to be X-$14,000 with a new offer letter attached. Not to mention this email was sent this past Wednesday (day before Thanksgiving) when the offer deadline is today. The deadline was not extended and emails to HR were not responded to after the first one, calls to HR went straight to voicemail because they were all off for the holiday.
Do I have any options? I could have declined offers because of this one (unfortunately I didn't), or made all sorts of other decisions in the 7 days that it took for HR to correct their mistake.
Just wondering if I have any course of action (aside from lawyering up). Are there any governmental agencies I can contact or anything like that? | Employer fucked me by offering $14,000 more than they meant to. Informed me of mistake a week after offer was extended. Do I have any options? |
t3_1wj583 | relationships | I [18F] got a tattoo and I don't know how to tell my parents [50F&M]. | My parents are from China and they work very hard to make ends meet for us and because of this, they think they should be able to control most of my life. I actually have to ask before getting hair cuts and I'm not allowed to have short hair because it's not lady like.
They are the typical overprotective asian parents and our relationship has always been strained from this. Lately, things have been better with our communicating skills because we have been talking about my college plans constantly.
This last weekend, I decided to get a tattoo after thinking about it for a long time and it does hold special meaning to me that I know I won't regret but after it happened, I started having a panic attack over how I will tell my parents. I should have thought more about my parents before I did it but I was having a rebel moment after I realized that they have never fully allowed me to decide for myself. I've been hiding it with long sleeve shirts for the last few days but I know i can't do that forever.
I tried to ease into the subject by bringing up that one of my friends got a tattoo and that I MIGHT want one and they started yelling at me about even considering it and saying that tattoos are for whores and crazy people. They said that if I got a tattoo, then I wasn't their daughter anymore. I tried to reason with them about how it was my body and they can't be like that but it was absolutely no use.
I know that I am an adult but I do have 7 months until college and I do live and depend on them to provide for me. I crave their approval because it's not something that I've ever fully gotten so I don't know what to do. Do I just try to hide this from her until I go away? | I got a tattoo and I don't know how to tell my controlling asian parents. |
t3_51g9pk | relationships | I [39 M] am getting sick of my wife [40 M/F] of nine years throwing temper tantrums, need advice please | 7:00 AM. My wife, son [7M], and I wake up. Our youngest son [4 M] has been sick for days and is sleeping in. Needs his rest. I was going to work from home to take care of him (turns out he has no fever though).
I go downstairs, tell wife not to make noise. She's banging away at pots and whatever in the kitchen. Son and her talking loudly. I'm getting frustrated downstairs.
Finally I go upstairs to tell her to be quiet, she starts swearing. "Fuck...leave me alone...we're not being noisy...fuck...I didn't sleep well...fuck....go away". Now I'm getting pissed. She IS being noisy, and rude and swearing, and she's gonna wake the kid. No, be quiet and let him sleep.
Full on tantrum. Screaming, throwing things, purposely banging everything. Wakes up the kid. Her tantrum continues. She probably woke the neighbor's kids it was so loud. Swearing, insulting me, you name it.
This is ridiculous. It happens more than I care to admit. I'm sick of this, sick of her acting so infantile. This woman cannot take criticism, just doesn't listen well. What can I do? I tried talking to her when things calm down, I promise she will do it again. Thinking of leaving her. | Wife throws crazy tantrums. Can someone offer advice on dealing with this kind of behavior? |
t3_21858g | relationships | Is there a graceful way to ask someone to shower? Me (21F) with my roommate (21F) | I'm a college student and I just had a room change. My new roommate is really awesome and kind, but we're not that close, just small chat type of conversations and I like that. But she smells really, really bad. Like so bad I gag when I walk into the room. She's a really heavy sleeper so before bed I spray my side with febreeze to kill the smell so I can sleep but it's horrible. It's so bad that outside the room you can smell it. I have never seen her shower and I'm in the room a fair bit, but her towel smells the worst so she must use it.
A big issue is she is very overweight and I wonder if maybe that's a cause to not partake in hygiene and I don't want to make a bad situation worse if it's an abuse thing either from her childhood.
But I really can't do the smell anymore and I can't move a second time in a semester. My RA wasn't helpful either, she told me to tell her "you know the showers work right?" I feel like that's super rude.
What's the least offensive way to go about this? | My roommate smells, know I'm going to hurt her feelings, least offensive way to get her to not smell anymore. |
t3_d0pk8 | relationship_advice | My girlfriend is nice to others. Too nice. Up the the point where I'm getting sad over it. Or am I being selfish? | Let me preface this by saying that I really love her and she loves me.
Also, I was a bit of jealous boyfriend with my ex (because of how flirty she was) but with my current girlfriend I trust her a lot. She goes out with guys and I don't care.
The thing that hurts me, however, is that sometimes she puts others' happiness before mine.
Example: When we're hanging out with friends and I go in for a little kiss, she'll deflect it because one of our mutual friends might see. She feels bad for this friend of ours because he might have liked her before we started dating, has terrible luck getting girls (always getting friend-zoned), etc. So she doesn't want him to feel bad when we kiss.
Another example: Tonight we both scheduled to get on Skype to chat with each other. For 3 hours we barely talked because she was helping her old high school teacher (don't ask) with some relationship problems on Facebook. I mean, that's a great thing to do, but I pretty much wasted 3 hours when she could have given me some time as well. Thankfully Reddit distracted me so it wasn't that bad :D
Now...I really think what she's doing is great but I can't help to feel sad about it. We had a talk about the kissing-deflection thing and she told me that she's going to try being better at it but that she'll still feel bad for that friend. Even though he has known that we've been going out for 7 months and this is a thing that boyfriends and girlfriends do. I seriously just want to say "Fuck what he thinks, you're going to be a girlfriend to me." but I feel like that might be too harsh.
What do you think, Reddit? Should I just get over this and stop being selfish (if I am)? Or should I bring new points to the table for discussion? Her and I are good at talking but some fresh insights from you guys would be helpful. Thank you! | GF won't kiss me in front of a certain person so he doesn't get sad, this is making me sad, what do I do? |
t3_29k9k2 | offmychest | Guess I'm not completely over you. | I hate you so much to tell the truth. I mean I do. And the fact is it doesn't make sense. I'm the one who made the final mistake...maybe it's because you lead me on afterward. Maybe it's because I'm hurt. but either way every time I see your face or hear your name I just want to spit and call you a whore or a bitch or a cunt. But I stop myself because you weren't, you had all rights to break it off after how I acted.
but the fact that you wanted to remain friends and couldn't stop bringing up stuff from our past pissed me off. I tried only because I hoped to get you back. But I didn't and finally accepted I wouldn't and cut you off. But it makes me so mad that you wanted to be friends. I loved you and didn't want just friendship. I still don't want to be your friend. I could never be "just friends" with you. I wasn't lying every time I said I love you nor was I lying when I told you I wanted to marry you. I guess even now, after over a year since we broke up and over a year since I wanted to kill myself, I still find myself wanting you back now and again and it makes me want to cry and it makes me want to be spiteful and hurtful. You moved on like you should and I'm trying to move on...but that doesn't mean I want to live life without you as my wife. -sigh- I'm happy with my life and I doing so much better, but yet just a picture of your smiling face can tear me down so bad, can cut my heart so deeply. And some how I'm suppose to find some one who I can light up the world for as they do for me. How am I going to do that? I mean serously how am I to do that when I can't even fap without you popping up in my mind. | I miss you, I hate you. How can I move on? |
t3_2a0vvj | tifu | TIFU by pocket dialing | I have been seeing this girl for about a month or so. Things have been going okay. Well today we are supposed to hang out, but she bails. This starts the beginning of the end. She says,"things are just wierd and she doesn't know what to do." I not being certain what she is talking about ask her to explain. This is when my phone pocket dials the first time. It has done this a couple times the past month so I just hang up the call when I notice it. She says nevermind. I tell her that I'm not going to force her to talk but am willing to listen if she ever feels like talking. If it ended like that I would have felt fine knowing I tried my best with a slight chance of things turning for the better, but no my pocket goes rogue and calls her again. This time I don't notice till five minutes later. I end the call and look at the text she sent me it reads,"stop calling me and trying to get me to talk." Great now there is no chance and I'm left looking like an overly attached creeper. | My pocket is not a good wingman. |
t3_3cxyr9 | tifu | TIFU by trusting people to not be lazy when cheating | This was my senior year of high school and I was ready to get out with school. All my teachers were pretty laid back with homework, except for one who would assign about a hours worth a night. Being the lazy person I was I created a google doc were five people would split up his busy work and each do a fifth. We weren't completely stupid so we would do the ten or so minutes of work and spend another ten changing the answers in our voice. Where we screwed up was a week before the final exam we had a project which was easily about five hours worth of work. Of course we waited until the last day but it was still more work than we wanted with it divided up. So we invited a few more people to the doc to make it reasonable and I would spend the extra hour or so changing up the answers making sure they were right. Somehow my entire class had been invited to the doc and because they had never done it before all their answers were the same. My teacher wasn't stupid and after looking at the first five people's assignment he realized what happened. The entire class minus three people got caught by the end of the grading. Unfortunately I had to go fess up too because no one was smart enough in that class to figure our how to cheat and one of the others threatened to turn me in because he got caught. | Created a cheating ring, entire class got caught, had to take the fall. |
t3_w06ym | relationships | Boyfriend says he doesn't feel close to me anymore. Stumbling for direction. | Hello, everyone.
My boyfriend and I have been dating since sometime early this year. I'll keep things kind of vague because there is a chance he could stumble across this post. We're both in our early 20s. Things have been seemingly perfect until now. Other than a few weird nights, we haven't had many disagreements and I've been the happiest I've ever been. Recently he started acting strange and I picked up on it quickly and confronted him about it. He says he doesn't feel as close to me as he used to. He begins grad school this fall and I think he may be withdrawing because of the uncertainty. And it sucks because he means the world to me. However, I don't want to be selfish and make him stay in a relationship he's unhappy in. I'd trade my own happiness to ensure that he is happy. I feel like a puppy dog. I don't think my feelings for him will change one bit no matter the outcome. Anyway, I feel like shit because I don't want this relationship to end. If there are any questions pertinent to offering advice, fire away. | I've been in a seemingly perfect relationship for a few months. Boyfriend says he doesn't feel as close to me as he used to. I'm worried things may end. Looking for some advice. |
t3_thk9e | relationships | Was about to break up with my bf, but he just told me his dog died... What should I do? | I'm 22M and hes 24M. We've been together for over a year. Tomorrow (Friday) is my birthday and I wanted to break up with him before my birthday and I ended up waiting til the last minute to do so... and then he tells me that his dog died. I don't wanna feel like a douche and break up with him when he's obviously grieving over his dog.
But, I don't want to keep our relationship going like this if I'm not happy. I finally worked up the courage til this happened. So should I put off breaking up with him til he feels better or should I just get it over with? I'm leaving for a bit so I'll check back in a few hours. | Worked up the courage to break up with my bf but his dog died. Don't know whether to wait a while or just tell him I want to break up. |
t3_155kbx | relationships | My (22/f) boyfriend (23/m) smokes weed pretty regularly, sometimes "stoned him" confuses/bothers me | So my boy and I have been together for about three months officially, but we were seeing each other fairly exclusively for about two months before that and we've been friends for right around a year. I know him well and pretty much adore the guy.
He doesn't smoke every day, usually it is more like once or twice a week, but when he does he gets exceptionally stoned. I smoke with him occasionally, probably close to once or twice a month. I don't have a problem with marijuana at all, but I've never been the chill out and smoke a bowl type, I'm too energetic and type A for that to really sound appealing very often. Anyhow, normally he is a pretty affectionate guy, but when he is stoned he isn't very touchy and doesn't respond to my touch as much. In the beginning of our relationship it really worried me, because I didn't realize the correlation and thought that my new awesome boyfriend was losing interest in me. Also, he gets pretty unresponsive in conversation. The other night we had been talking about a problem I had over text, he invited me over to talk about it with him/comfort me later that night. When I showed up he had been smoking, and that made it much harder to get feedback from him like I wanted.
I don't want him to stop, he enjoys it and it is a fairly important thing to him and his friends. Mostly I would just like some kind of heads up if he has been smoking, and maybe to let him know that there are times I'd rather he not smoke (like if he knows I am coming over to talk about a problem with him) | Stoned boyfriend is less affectionate and harder to have a conversation with. It irritates and confuses me sometimes. |
t3_2pqrbj | Advice | Should I move out as a student? | I know this has been posted in this sub before and I apologize but I feel my situation is different. I'm almost 19, wanting to move out by myself with no roommates. So far I've saved 4K and I have a stable job that I've been using to put away $600 biweekly into my savings. I want to move out because I live very far from my work/ school and I long for the freedom that comes from living alone. Due to scholarships, unions and my parents saved money my schooling is pretty much entirely paid for. I'm only taking a 2 year course and at the end of it I'll be making 6 figures a year (or just under), provided I get a job, which should be really easy due to my location. I won't be attending school until this fall however I want to move out in April/may. I'm willing to take out a small student loan just to pay for living expenses if needed for the upcoming years. I hear a lot that student loan debt sucks so I want to avoid crazy amounts as much as possible. The schooling is hard so come August I will probably quit my job for retail/service job that I would only be able to work 1-2 shifts a week so I can focus on studying. I usually shop for myself (using my parents money), cook, do my laundry and clean up after myself so I don't feel like the responsibilities would be a shock moreso the money factor would be . I don't want to be one of those students that has to skip meals because they can't afford it I want to live semi-comfortably. With all this info (sorry for the long read) do you think I'm being reasonable thinking I can move out without attaining a hefty sum of student loan debt?
(A bachelor pad in my city is ~1100 a month including heat and water) | 19, wanna move out but not sure if manageable without accumulating crazy debt . |
t3_1phopo | relationship_advice | Getting "back out there" 22/M | Early this year my gf of about a year and half moved overseas to immerse herself in French culture as part of her development. We ended up breaking up after 3 or 4 months because of some problems. For more info look check my previous post
As you can see it's been about 6 months since the relationship ended. Breaking up with her was not the easiest decision and it surprisingly took me a while to truly get over it. After all this time I think I really should get out there and really start talking to girls more. It's been a very long time since I tried talking to women with a more than platonic intent (hitting on them). It's been about at least 2 years I have been trying little by little but I seem to be having no luck. I am out of practice. At this point I am not looking for a hook-up or another relationship but It would be good for me to start talking to women again and see where things go. The most I have ever succeeded so far is I get the girl's number, we text a little then they stop texting back :(. It's getting VERY discouraging. I just wanted to know some tips from both you guys and girls about how to start talking to women again, getting numbers, not being a creep lol, how to talk to girls at parties/clubs/bars etc and just general tips for being single. Thank you in advance :) I really appreciate you all taking the time to do this for me. | Starting to talk to girls again, but I am having no luck. Could use some tips. Thanks |
t3_22e7az | relationships | My [M24]and my girlfriend [F21] decided to get high for the first time. While we were high she tried to start a threesome with a mutual friend of ours [M24]. How can I tell her I was not comfortable with this without offending her | We have been talking about arranging threesomes before but we made an agreement we'd also find a female participant for a MFF threesome before we go ahead with a MMF threesome.
We got high last night and she kept making obvious attempts at starting a threesome,I was not comfortable with this at all but was too high to tell her otherwise at the time ( other than a few "no, don't do that babe" like sentences.
I was extremely uncomfortable with it but no matter how many times I'd tell her shed still try to start one. She took off her pants at one point and was just in her panties before I told her to put them back on. Out mutual friend was also obviously uncomfortable.
I tried to bring it up earlier but she just got offended and saidt said "You didn't really think I would have gone for it, do you?"
The answer to that question being yes. Yes you would have gone for it.
I want to bring this up to her again but not offend her at the same time | girlfriend tried to initiate MMF threesome and I was uncomfortable with it but she ignored me. How can I bring this up to her without offending her. |
t3_v8aiy | relationships | Husband of 10 years is actively looking for a girlfriend. | Quick back story: I am 29, my husband is 32, we have been married for 10 years (total of 12 years together). We have two children, a home, a business and a life, a life we built together. We have had major ups and downs, depression, cancer, deaths, and faced all the obstacles of life together.
Yesterday (Father's day) I received a phone call from a family member who over heard some people talking about my husband. Turns out he met a chick that he hit it off with and is badly wanting to have sex with her. Also, side note: My husband used to be addicted to prescription pills, well apparently he is again.
After I got off the phone I decided to try my luck at calling my husbands best friend to see if he would confirm what I had heard. Well he confirmed and then word vomited every bad thing my husband has been up to, including: seeking any woman, pills, hiding money, the works. I got the name of the above mentioned chick, a quick Google search landed me with all kinds of her information. I checked our phone records and her number is all over, not a lot, but it's there.
I am heart broken. I do everything he needs and wants and more. I work my ass off for him and our family. What do I do? I am at a loss. I thought we were doing good. I am hurting so bad right now, so very bad. | Husband looking to screw other chicks, popping pills and depressing his wife. |
t3_142ajk | AskReddit | It's been 6 months since I've gotten out of an emotionally traumatic relationship. I've sought therapy, made new friends, started a new job, but that pain is still there. Is it possible to truly heal from a relationship that leaves one so broken? Can anyone share experiences of overcoming the pain? | I was cheated on a year into my relationship, I gave him another chance, but could never truly forgive him. The relationship became toxic, alternating between great weeks and gut wrenching weeks for another 2 years. We had a terrible break up which was the result of him cheating on me and has been with the girl he cheated on me with since. I heard through the grape vine he is extremely loyal and kind to her, and I guess it just makes me feel invalidated that I was treated as a nuisance to them within a week of him meeting her. It was disorienting, considering we were house hunting just a month before (we were engaged). I wish I had been the one to walk away, and it really sucks to feel as though I had no dignity towards the end. | a lot of messed up shit happened that has left me very very sad. |
t3_220kfd | offmychest | The only thing I seem to be missing is a friend, and it's killing me (CAW) | Hello, Redditors,
I don't really know what I'm expecting to get out of this, other than hoping that somehow just talking about it, even on the internet might help.
So, about me,
I am a 22 M, I live in my own place with my long term(2+yrs) girlfriend, we have a cat, we both have cars, I have a 9-5 job that I enjoy, I'm almost financially stable,
But, I don't have any friends, and I feel like I would give up some of what I have to have friends again,
When I was younger 15+,
I had many friends, my social life was booming,
Rarely was there a weekend that I didn't have something planned
And towards 17, I became part of a very tight knit group, I was one of 4 guys in it, and we were like brothers,
Over the years, that group fell apart, disbanded, and had some fallings out, schedules conflicted, and what was left of the group, slowly wilted away,
They started hanging out with other people and building new social circles,
But I, being the social moth that I am, have an extremely hard time meeting, and talking to new people.
Found myself suddenly with no-one around me, how can I possibly talk to someone new without first being introduced and phased into social situations by someone else
And to settle any confusion, everyone I have ever met/became friends with, was through then current friends or forced interaction via college.
Fast forward to today,
The only people I talk to other than my SO, are my parents and SO's friends when their over,
She has plenty of friends, her phone is always buzzing away with chats and invites,
And mine, well, my phone is essentially just a tool for browsing the internet and calling companies if I missed a bill or something,
I would tell you the last time I was sent a text or rang by someone who wasn't my parents or my SO,
But I can only see as far back as the day I bought this phone, and I only got it last June, and it hasn't happened yet. | I meet people, through other people (due to some social anxiety) |
t3_18wwmw | AskReddit | Reddit, have any of you went through a mutual divorce? | My wife and I were wondering if anyone here went through a divorce where both parties thought it was the right choice. We've been married 3+ (together for 8) and met in High school. I am in the military and have been away for about half the time we've been married. At this point in our lives, we feel as if we've become different people. We do not wish ill upon one another and respect each other very much. This topic came about last night when we both admitted that we were unhappy with where we are in our marriage. Since we don't have any kids (except two dogs :p), we wanted to avoid the fallout that we've witnessed our close friends encounter from bad divorces. Marriage counseling is on the table, but we feel that our mind is set and wonder if it would really help our cause. There is a difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone and we honestly can't answer whether or not we're IN love with each other. Please fire away with thoughts/questions/personal history within this thread. | Wife and I both admit we're not happy with marriage, not tied down with kids, mutual contemplation of divorce |
t3_4g966y | tifu | TIFU by exploding a trash bag | Alright so for a bit of context, I live on a US military base in Germany and there are three different containers for trash. One for normal trash, one for recyclable trash and one for cardboard. This particular bag was filled with recyclable trash and these bags are VERY fragile. I'll probably break the plastic handles off of them at least once every two days when trying to take them out of the can.
Now for the fuck up, I was taking the trash out like any other day and there was some huge ass bug on the container. So like any normal civilized person I smashed the bug with what I was currently in my hand.. which just so happened to be the bag full of trash. As soon as I had moved to smash the bug I realized what was going to happen but I was too late. I missed the bug causing it to fly directly into my face and to add insult to injury trash went EVERYWHERE. I spent the next 5-10 minutes cleaning while getting weird looks by my neighbors and cars driving by.
Reddit, I am not a smart man. | Took out the trash, ended up getting taken out instead. |
t3_1r4q6h | dogs | My dog is moving to another house...with a dog. What do? | Hi everyone
I searched about this but nothing came up in both /r/dogmeetup and /r/dogtraining but I'd just like some advice about what to do in this situation.
We have a 5 yo female black Labrador (pure as can be) and my family are moving out of the country for a year. Friends of ours have offered to look after her for the duration and they have a 4 yo female Border Collie and 2 cats.
My dog is pretty excitable and very energetic and their dog is chilled although she barks a lot at everything. Today we took them both to a nearby park (neutral ground for both of them) and had them ''see'' and sniff each other. My dog was a bit aggressive at first but eventually the two of them just kinda settled into an indifference towards each other. They sniffed each other after lots of gentle requests and mutual petting and got along *okay* after a while.
For the next time I want to take them both to the park again then maybe to their house and see how they both react. Any advice about this situation and what to do would be very much appreciated. Thanks guys! | Dog is going to another dogs house. What do? |
t3_4yyra8 | relationships | My [24F] sister [19F] invited me to a vacation with her. My boyfriend [19M] is rather upset he can't come. | Sorry she is 24. I am 19.
My sister a few days ago invited me to go to Japan with her for a week. She's my half sister (same mom) and very rich from her father's side. She said she'll pay for all of it so we can spend time together and have fun. I accepted.
I told my boyfriend about it and he is upset that he can't come. He thinks we should go together to holidays like this but I don't know. I like my sister and haven't seen her in a while so it will be great and I don't think you should have your SO at every trip especially as my sister isn't bringing her own boyfriend either.
He's been a little condescending about it ever since he knew and keeps saying things like "I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun without me" and I don't know, I don't like this. We've been together for 9 months and he wasn't like this before.
How do I deal with him? | Sister invited me to come with her to a trip. Boyfriend is upset he can't come. |
t3_264so2 | relationships | Broke up with depressed boyfriend 2 days ago. Feeling guilty, hope for reconciliation. Want to support his recovery process without being together. | Long time redditor. Throwaway username. I (23F) broke up with my bf (24M) of 4 months 2 days ago. He is depressed and this sometimes makes him selfish, lazy, indecisive, disorganized, need constant external validation, affected our sex life. These are not deal breakers.
My deal breakers are the fact that he is a bad listener, his depression became emotionally draining for me and made me severely unhappy because our r/ship was one-sided (not getting emotional support from him).
He is getting help for those issues (therapy) however I broke up with him because I lost hope that he will recover because he is not motivated enough and constantly gives excuses. But I feel guilt because I left in his time of need and feel like if he recovered we could get back together. He says he thinks our love is worth fighting for.
I told him to prove it to me. I want to support him in a non-gf way while this happens:
I have asked him to:
-Get space (don't contact me), a lot of alone time and reflect on his depression and how to get better.
-I want him to continue an 8 week goal we set. In 8 weeks, show me that he has become a better person.
-Do whatever he needs to do to be someone who is less depressed and less self-centered. Therapy, get diagnosed, medication, reading, whatever. Show me that he can support my emotional needs
-We can meet once a week to talk in a neutral location
-Before the end of the 8 weeks, if there is no improvement, I will stop this arrangement and move on with my life.
-I demand complete honesty
-He will decide on when we meet, the location, and the agenda
While this arrangement is on, I will also take time to reflect on my emotional needs and we won't date anyone else (as a sign of hope for the future).
I doubt I can support his recovery in a healthy way and if it is worth it to get back together. Anybody have experience with this? | Broke up 4 month r/ship with depressed boyfriend and feel a lot of guilt. I think there is a possibility for reconciliation and want to support his recovery by meeting up once a week in a neutral location to gauge where he's at. |
t3_2ke5c5 | relationships | I don't know whether or not to get over a girl. Advice? | I am a 14 YO male and she is a 14 YO female.
So there's this girl that I really like and I asked her to homecoming. About a week before her best friend told me that she isn't looking to date. That sucked but we still went to homecoming and had a great time. However still she shows no interest in me.
I really like this girl and have a giant crush on her and am having a hard time coping with the fact that she doesn't like me back in that way.
Should I give up and just get on with my life or should I keep pursuing her? (As creepy as that sounds.) I feel like it would be easier to just give up and get over her but I really do want to date her. | I like a girl, she doesn't like me. Chase after her or just give up? |
t3_22hsm3 | relationships | [23 M] with [23 F]Been in a relationship for almost 7 years. Losing interest. How do I break up with her? | I've been contemplating breaking up with her for several months now. I feel like we're not that interested in each other anymore and there's nothing significant in the relationship anymore.
I find myself looking at other women and I'm losing physical attraction to her. I also don't see myself marrying her as she doesn't seem responsible or mature enough. She still acts like a child pretty much.
Can anyone share some advice on the best way to end this? Hopefully it can be a mutual break up.
She seems like the type that would say bad things about me when I break up with her. Not necessarily because I was a bad boyfriend, but she would always look at the negatives instead of the positives.
I'm thinking about just trying to spend an ordinary day with her and break it to her when I drive her home.
I'm worried of what she might do to herself if I do this. In the first year she told me that she would cut herself. I don't think she does this anymore, but I'm afraid she might start again. | Best way to break up a 7 year relationship? |
t3_l3t34 | running | I'm registered for a half next week but haven't trained. Looking for some advice. | I registered for the half earlier this year for two reasons:
* To motivate myself to start running again.
* Moral support for my sister who wants to do a half this year for various personal reasons.
Current situation:
* I last ran about a month and a half ago. It was six miles at an 11 minute pace and went well.
* My sister has been running regularly but hasn't gone over four miles.
Neither of us are known for keeping goals; we are, on the other hand, known for procrastination.
The pessimistic side of my brain says:
* I'm nowhere near in shape enough to run this.
* Sure I pulled off similar distances in the military with a pack on my back, but that was nearly 10 years and 40lbs ago.
* Due to lack of training, neither of us know how our bodies will react at later stages of the run.
The optimistic side of my brain says:
* Just pull off a run/walk, I'll make it. It'll hurt but I can do it.
* The excitement and adrenaline of race day and the crowd will help carry me. (sure the training plan said it would help with the end, I'll just count on it for a little more)
* This is important to my sister and I told her I'd support her. I owe it to her to at least try.
There's a few reasons that I stopped running a month and a half ago, but I'll just sum them up as lack of motivation. I'm looking for some advice from experienced half and full marathoners on:
* If I should or shouldn't attempt the half.
* If I do, what are some consequences I can expect from my lack of training.
* What happens to runners who can't complete the course, or haven't by the time it closes. | I'm registered for a half next week and my last run was 6 miles 1.5 months ago. Looking for advice. |
t3_3puw15 | relationships | Me [18 M with my crush [ F] , since a couple of weeks, I'm interested , but she seems depressed. | First of all, I'm french, so sorry if my english is kinda bad. Also, I have no clue what's her age, so don't ask.
So there's this girl in my class who I'm interested into, and I've been talking to her a litte because we sit at the same table.Actually, I'm probably team up with her for a project, because her teamates dropped school, and she's alone.
Anyways, the problem is that she seems depressed , and I almost want to say "weird". Indeed, on a small talk we had, she told me she barely sleeps and she's always tired( I can see that). Also, I never see her on pauses between classes. She doesn't have any friends in classes ( I have two classes with her) , and she doesn't have facebook ( or I didn't find it). But mostly, the main factor was she started to cried when the professor told her she seems tired . Why? I have no clue. Maybe her mother died this summer, or her dad rapped her, I don't know.
So she seems anxious since the beggining of the school, and this has been going for weeks.
I feel sceptic about it, when I talk to her she seems normal and cool, but at the outside, she seems kinda depressed and anxious, and I don't know how to feel about it.
Again, sorry for my shitty english! | I'm interested into a girl at school, but she seems depressed, and I don't know how to feel about this. Should I try to date her? |
t3_3goxrp | relationships | Guy [22M] who I've [19F] been seeing for 10 months doesn't want to be exclusive. | Background:
I have been dating the same guy for 10 months now and I feel as though it's time to be exclusive. We do nearly everything together and he inspires me to experience new and exciting things. He is an avid traveler and has inspired me to reach out of my comfort zone and study abroad this upcoming year. I absolutely adore him and our sexual chemistry is outstanding. I can be my 100% self around him as he accepts and embraces every bit of me... except my wish to be exclusive. Neither of us want a title on our relationship, as neither of us are willing to give up our independence and since I'm planning to go abroad in January, I don't want to carry on a long distance relationship or have to deal with the repercussions of an actual "break up".
I've hinted before at being exclusive and he has always dismissed me. It's beginning to really eat at me and don't know how much more of this open relationship I can take. And seeing that we really only have a solid 4 months of being together left, I feel as though I deserve his word that he won't sleep with other people until I leave and I will do the same. I think that I'm way more insecure than he is, and I need a firm sense of security and comfortability that I haven't been able have so far.
I confronted him tonight about my feelings and he refuses to be exclusive for the next 4 months. I'm having a hard time understanding his reasons, besides the fact that he feels as though being exclusive inadvertently puts a title on our relationship which neither of us want and that it infringes on his freedoms as a single man.
Anyway, I'm not sure what to do now. I can't shake the insecurity that he doesn't want to be exclusive just in case someone better comes along. Should I drop him since he can't give me what I need, or continue this "not-a-relationship" until I leave? Or just try to be friends with him? Any advice or help in understanding his side of the situation is appreciated :) | I'm leaving to go abroad in January and want to be exclusive with the guy I've been dating for the last 10 months, but he doesn't want to for reasons I don't quite understand. Need help understanding his side of things. Where to go from here? |
t3_flk4y | AskReddit | Does anyone have any ideas on how I can watch Super 15 rugby in the US? | Ok, so heres the deal. There used to be this site called rugbyzone.com that had the rights to Super 14, Trinations, Currie Cup, Air New Zealand Cup, and a few other tournaments. You bought a membership to watch a tournament, and they had live streaming and archives of all the games. All was well in the rugby universe. However, this year rugbyzone for whatever reason didn't get the rights to broadcast Super 15 and has shut down.
Setanta is another service very similar to rugbyzone, but Fox Soccer Plus bought out Setanta's US site, and now Fox Soccer doesn't have the rights to Super 15 either. It appears that sanzar (rugby committee) have sold the rights to Direct TV for US broadcasting of Super 15 rugby, which is strange as hell because usually rights go to a broadcaster, not a provider. I do not have Direct TV, and have no way of getting it so it seems like all my options have dried up.
My thoughts:
- I can hope that torrents will be put up of the games. I'm not too confident in this though. There are torrents for last years Super 14 games, but I'm not sure how quickly they got added, and how many seeders there will be.
-Proxies. Setanta Asia has Super 15. Ive messed around with it a little bit, but if I use a Hong Kong proxy, setanta thinks I'm in Asia. My biggest issue with this is that since the videos are streamed, I think the video will stop every 3 seconds to buffer, and basically be unwatchable.
-P2P and other sites that will live stream the games. This would be an awesome solution, but unfortunately I need an archive. The games are played at around 2-6 AM EST, and I do need sleep.
So basically, I turn to you reddit. I'm willing to pay to watch the games, but there simply is no option I'm aware of. Does anyone have any internet magic, or any advice?
Thanks. | nobody (of use) has the rights to broadcast super 15 rugby in the US, help me find a way to watch the games. Please!! |
t3_17vwe2 | relationships | should I(22m) send my ex(21f) a valentine's day present? | We dated long distance for a year and 4 months, we would see each other every school break and some times in between. She broke up with me in October because we were arguing a lot and I was too depressed over other things (motorcycle was stolen, family was upset with me and was struggling in one of my classes) to try and put things back together. We haven't really talked much since the break up. She texted me a couple weeks ago at 3am telling me she was reading her journal from a year ago and that she hopes I had a good day and that tomorrow is spectacular.
I bake a lot of things and was thinking of sending her something for valentines day. Is this a bad idea?
I still have deep feelings for her. | miss my ex and want to rekindle our relationship by sending her some home made baked goods. |
t3_19vs5b | loseit | Has anyone else among you struggled with irrational fear, (that you'll overdo it and hurt yourself,) when it comes to exercising? | Basically, I'm ~70-80 lbs overweight (225 lbs at 5'8) and I've gotten myself in this headspace where I'm afraid to push myself physically. Specifically, I'm worried that something's going to happen involving my heart.
Here's some relevant info about me and my heart: the most important thing to know is that, despite everything I'm going to say in a moment, my doctor has checked out my heart within the last year, (I even had an EKG,) and said it's perfectly healthy, I have nothing to worry about.
Still, sometimes I get phantom stabbing pains in my heart or elsewhere in my abdomen, I get short of breath sitting in a hot bath for just a few minutes, and also, this could very well be my imagination, but I think I feel my left arm getting sore when I tax my heart, which has occasionally happened during particularly hot showers. Like I said, that last one is probably my over-active imagination. What I'm not imagining is that these days I'm so out of shape that I'm winded just from climbing a normal set of stairs.
I'm lucky enough to live with my parents who have a treadmill, and I should be able to brave just using it to go for walks until my body is better prepared to start jogging. It's just that I'm the type of person who wants to ramp it up very quickly once I start working out, so it would be nice not to be held back by fear if I actually feel like going for a little jog.
Has anyone here dealt with similar anxiety but gotten over it? This post is part-rant and part-discussion question, I hope that's okay. | I have irrational anxiety about overtaxing my heart. Anyone been in the same boat? |
t3_2awid6 | relationships | How do I [27 F] convince my [30 M] bf I will not bankrupt and ruin his life if we one day marry then divorce? | My bf and I have been together for nearly 5 years now and lived together for majority of that time. I relocated 8 states away from our home state with him about 1 1/2 years ago and we recently bought a home. We have good solid jobs and financial stability. The idea of marriage has been circulating as we are kind of at that point in our relationship but he is so worried that one day if we divorce, I will take all of his money, the house, kids (if we have any) and completely destroy his life. I have never given him any reason to think thats in my personality but due to past relationships/experiences he believes majority of woman are naturally spiteful beings. He is also a frequenter of /r/MensRights so he regularly reads the horror stories of men losing it all to a spiteful ex wife. We are not even engaged yet and I am finding myself having to convince him I would never do this.
When asked if he truly trusts me, he said he trusts me "as much as he could ever trust a woman". I am not sure what that exactly means or how I should take it...
I am at the point where I am not sure if I even want to get married anymore... | Bf convinced I will take all of his money and ruin his life if we marry then divorce one day; not sure what to do. |
t3_1o47y8 | relationships | Me [21 F] and my FWB [22 M] of one month still isnt over his ex, but things are so perfect I want to make this something more...How? | I [21 f] have been seeing/dating a [22 m] for about a month, we have known each other a bit longer but got together. He told me a little bit of his heart still belongs to his ex.
Things between us are just so perfect. We get along so well. I want something more. and feel like I should move on. But I just can't shake the feeling that things would go so well with him.
I am not really threatened by his ex. They are still friends and are in a band together. But I can talk to her and not feel like shes threatened by me. I dont have any jealousy toward her.
He also told me he was confused about his feelings because what he feels now is similar to the beginning of his last relationship of four years, and that he doesnt know if he can trust his feelings. though we continue to see each other.
Do I move on? or persue this further? | I want more with my FWB but he isnt quite over his ex. How do I help him get over her or should I move on? |
t3_10euu2 | AskReddit | Rude stranger now parking in my boyfriend's driveway, rental company is siding with her. Anything we can do? | My boyfriend lives with three other people close to campus, and has the rare luxury of a spacious, four-car driveway (three roommates have cars, plus visitors). Last week, he came home to find a car that didn't belong to any of his roommates or their friends parked there, so he had it towed. Apparently, the girl who owns the car pitched a fit, called the rental company, and got them to pay for the towing. We found this out after one of the roommates called to ask about the situation, and apparently in the girl's lease, it states that tenants of her house can technically park in the driveway of any house owned by the company (even though she lives several blocks away and has street parking), regardless of whether it says anything about that in their lease. This girl has also left angry notes on my car, saying "it's not cool to park like a dick" when I had taken up a couple spots so that I could get out easier (all of the resident's cars were already parked, and I wasn't blocking anyone in). I suppose it's worth mentioning that none of us have actually seen this girl, as she never even knocked on the door to ask if she could park in their driveway and her car just seems to appear and disappear at will. One of the roommates is going to the student legal center to see what they can do, but I'm wondering if they're just screwed because the rental company took her side. So do we just have to suck it up and deal with her parking there for the rest of the year, or is there anything that can be done? | Random girl parks in boyfriend's driveway, gets towed. Rental company takes her side, she continues to park there and leave rude notes on my car. Already going the legal route, what else can we do? |
t3_3ok5p7 | relationships | My (18 f) boyfriend (18 m) is really busy and I don't know how to cope. | He and I starting dating towards the end of high school. We went from seeing each other everyday at school and hanging out a lot during the summer to seeing each other once in two or three weeks. Our relationship is going really great- even though we haven't been dating for long, he and I are really close and crazy about each other. He recently started working 50 hour weeks and I've started going to college and working part-time. He's working a lot because he's saving up for post secondary, and on top of that also helping support his brother (who is abroad and doesn't have time to work because he's studying full-time).The thing is, he's pretty bad at texting and I'm lucky if he responds to my texts 3 times a week. I understand the distance right now as its something neither of us can control, but I can't help but worry if we'll slowly drift apart because of the lack of communication and conflicting schedules. I love him and I know he loves me too and I really want to make this work. I'm also not sure if this is something worth bringing up cause I don't want to put more than what he already has on his plate. | haven't been seeing boyfriend because he's super busy with work, he's also bad at texting and I'm worried we might drift apart but I don't know if this is something worth mentioning to him since he's got a lot on his plate. |
t3_2z7mj3 | Advice | I want to go to college but don't know where to start. | Ok guys, let me lay down some background here. I am a 20, nearly 21 year old male who currently works as a truck unloader at walmart. This job means I work Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday from 4p-1a. I have an unreliable vehicle right now and when I left High school my gpa was less then 3.0. I know at the beginning of my senior year it was a 2.0 I'm not sure what it is right now to be honest.
I'd like to go to college to pursue a career in programming. When I am working on a project I get a lot of joy out of it. I also feel like I'm ready to move out of my mother's house and get some independence. My problems lie in the fact that I don't work a typical job so I don't see how I could schedule school around my work. I also have the problem of financing school. My credit isn't that fantastic and neither is my mother's, there is no dad in the picture. I know their may be some grants but I'm not sure what is available or if it will be enough. I'm worried because at any point I could end up with a large vehicle repair or I could lose my current job and be stuck with college debt and have to drop out of college. | Poor credit, unreliable vehicle, and odd work schedule. How can I still get a good education to get myself out of this rut? |
t3_1fgeb1 | tifu | TIFU by destroying my main window AC while living in Texas | We have 2 window AC units in the house, and both had not been cooling that great lately. So I cleaned the filters out of both units and the smaller of the two immediately begins to work better. The larger of the units did work a bit better, but still wasn't cooling that great. I noticed that there was a pool of water inside the unit that wasn't draining properly. Having already maxed out the tilt I could do to the window unit long ago, I decided to drill a hole in the bottom of the unit to drain the water.
I drilled one hole in the center where nothing was and the water poured out. So far so good. Then I decide to make the actual drain hole bigger. I drilled too far and put a hole through the chassis and into the AC condensor spewing R-22 (or it's equiv) into the air, destroying the unit instantly, and about 60% of the house's cooling ability. | TIFU by deciding to fix my AC units and I destroyed one with a drill. I should have gone drinking instead. |
t3_ik5dh | relationships | My boyfriend thinks I'm a nag. | I'm 21, my boyfriend is 24. We've been dating about a year and 4 months, living together for a year and 2 months.
I generally consider myself to be a very easy going person - I joke around a lot and though I can tend to be a bit sarcastic, no ones ever seemed to think I'm annoying for it.
My SO and I have been having problems lately, arguing a lot and not really communicating. I've chalked a lot of it up to him being stressed about work, and the fact that he just bought a house. That being said, we moved in to his new house a week ago. Almost all of our stuff is put away (I did a lot of the unpacking) except for one small box of his stuff in the middle of our bedroom floor. It was the last box, and I decided to leave it for him to do with as he wished. This was, as I said, a week ago. Last night before bed I mentioned lightly that it was still sitting there, and asked if he was planning on doing anything with it. He immediately got upset, saying I was nagging him, and why was I asking him to do stuff right before we went to bed, why couldn't I just be happy? Normally I would probably just apologize and go to bed, but I felt like I had reason to be upset. We argued for a bit, and I went downstairs to sleep on the couch for the night. This morning, he said nothing to me as he left for work.
Am I in the wrong? Was I coming across as a nag? I feel like he is just very sensitive when it comes to criticism. I don't want to let him just walk all over me, so is there a better way I can approach the situation? | boyfriend thinks I'm a nag, what can I do to come across less bossy? |
t3_4u5rt7 | Pets | Mentally stunted cat digging in litter box obsessively | My male cat happened to be malnourished and badly dehydrated as a kitten, and the vets I talked with told me he would never quite be "normal", but should live a long healthy life. He is currently 6 years old, neutered, and an overall lazy cat. I study cat behaviour and worked in an animal organization for several years with extensive training with cats and their behaviours. This one strikes me as more odd than usual.
I have two large litter boxes, and 2 cats. My male cat is extremely lazy, but does enjoy our nightly play sessions. Over the past couple years, he's picked up the very annoying habit of digging in his litter box for around 30 minutes after using it. It's usually not with urine, and only with feces. My female cat tries to help him cover it completely, but it doesn't stop him. He will dig so much that he eventually is outside of the box just digging at the plastic and the floor. It seems like an almost obsessive habit, and I'm not really sure what to think of it. I thought maybe he had some excess energy so I made it a routine to play with him for at least an hour daily until he is too tired to even move a paw, he seems to enjoy it but it hasn't fixed the problem. I have examined his feces, and I do not notice anything abnormal at all. he doesn't struggle to go, there is no blood, no worms, no diarrhea, etc.
Any advice on what the heck to do here? I am considering it chalking it up to him just having some mental issues and this being a new one of his... | my cat obsessively attempts to cover his feces, should I be worried/what should I do? |
t3_fu66f | AskReddit | Woman uses cell phone to deliberately avoid social interaction. Is this common? | I work as a security guard in an office tower.
Almost every night for six months I've watched a woman of about 25 walk past the guard desk holding her cell phone to her ear. She never says anything to either the guards at the desk or to the phone in her hand. What she doesn't know is that we can see her on the cameras before and after she's in range of view from the desk. We watch her pull the phone out of her pocket and place it to her ear without pressing any buttons just before she is within site of the desk, then immediately after she's out of range she silently puts it back into her pocket. If we say anything to her, she pretends not to have heard.
This seems an extraordinary length to go to avoid "Have a good evening, miss." Is this common? Do people in general do this to avoid basic and polite social interaction? | CRAZY LADY, Y U NO POLITE? |
t3_2f9plk | AskDocs | Weird, tickly feeling in back muscles | Hi. I'm a 24-year-old white guy living in Tennessee, 5'6, 160 pounds. No existing medical conditions other than stress and anxiety.
For the past three weeks or so, I've had a lot of tension in my back and shoulders, which I think stems from sleeping on a shitty mattress. The weird thing is that I feel a near-constant tickling feeling deep in the muscle of my back, and occasionally feel like I can't get a full breath. There are two spots especially, mid-back on either side of my spine, where the tickle/"good pain" increases if I press there. To the point that it takes my breath for a second.
I've tried ibuprofen and stretching, and those help a little bit, but not enough. I don't think I have any related medical stuff going on - I've been taking amoxicillin for a gum infection but I'm pretty sure this feeling was around before I started taking those.
I'm mostly wondering if that "weird tickle/discomfort in the muscle" feeling sounds familiar to anyone, because Google hasn't helped me at all. I'd really like to know what causes this feeling and how I can fix it (other than getting a new mattress, which is happening eventually). It's not really "pain," per se, but it makes me feel uncomfortable and uneasy and I'd like it gone | weird tickly feeling deep in my back muscles and mild shortness of breath. Why? What do? |
t3_16a1zu | tifu | TIFU by buying $270 worth of contacts that I can't even wear | I went to get my eyes checked out about a week ago at Cohen's Fashion Optical and it turns out I have slight astigmatism, -0.75 cycle. They didn't have any glasses I liked so I decided to give contacts a shot. They tell me that I could buy various amounts of one-a-day contacts, starting from a three-month supply to a one-year supply. In order to have a trial of 4 days with them, I need to buy a package. So I choose the 3-month, which is $270, thinking that I could get a refund.
I use them for two days, and they're horrible. I have to constantly blink my eyes, otherwise my vision will get blurry. I don't even see a difference in the quality of my eyesight. Now it turns out that I can't even get a refund for them, and can only recieve store credit. They have a policy on the wall which I didn't see that says this. Now I don't know what to do. I really fucked up here, they basically just robbed me. Is there *any* way I could get my money back, or have something work out for me? | Bought $270 worth of contact lenses at Cohen's that I can't wear and won't give me a refund, only store credit. |
t3_g25ok | AskReddit | Teacher is being a bitch about/messing up grades, what should I do? | Alright, reddit, I got a situation that I hope you can help me figure out.
I'm at the end of a marking period and I went to my teacher to get my grade. (She is Chinese, speaks English horribly, often impossible to understand, very stubborn.) She says I have a 178/200, even after countless extra credit, peer tutoring, test corrections, etc. Now I'd be fine with this as it is, but another student got an A- for doing probably the exact same, if a little less, amount of work as I did. She went through all the grades to do a side by side comparison, and the difference seemed negligible; if anything, he may have had a 1 or 1.5 point lead.
But is that 1 point out of 200 really the difference between a B+ and an A-? It seems fucking absurd to me to even split the grades like that for such an inconsequential difference. I hate comparing my grades to another student's, but it's really the only way I can point out this bullshit. And on top of that...
She graded his last test wrong, as in, like 5 or 6 points added out of nowhere. As I was looking for my test, I came across his and added up the points. Nowhere near the grade she marked him down for. I had the higher test, easily.
So here's my major mistake. I told her to look over some of her tests, specifically the one I just saw, to see if she had made the correct calculations. I hoped that this would work the opposite, giving us both A-, but now she's apparently going to go back and fix her mistakes, bumping down that student in the process.
But that's the opposite of what I want, and now I feel like an absolute shithead for doing so. I'd rather stay at a B+ and have him at an A- then have us both at B+, it's fucking pointless.
So what should I do? How do I rectify this situation, and how do I convince her her grading system is absolute horseshit? She practically manufactures grades out of nowhere, and now she's giving me this bullshit that I'm 1 point short of an A-. | Stupid stubborn bitch teacher is shorting me 1 point from an A-, while blatantly miscalculating a test for another student and giving him an A-. I showed her that she fucked up, and now she's going to dock his grade too. I need to figure out how to save my and his grades so I don't feel like a piece of shit about this situation. |
t3_xjcsf | AskReddit | What's the best unexpected confidence booster you've ever received? | I was at a party the other day and it was getting late so everyone was headed off to bed. I was laying on the couch attempting to fall asleep when I realized I could hear the girls in the other room talking. So I of course started to listen in on their conversation. They were talking about this thing we do to people where you touch their lower stomach and it makes their stomach basically convulse. So someone suggested "We should go to it to [My Name]" and then another girl replied with "Nah it doesn't work on him. By the way have any of you guys noticed his stomach? He has the greatest abs" It was a huge confidence boost and I just fell asleep right after because there was nothing better I could have gotten from listening in on that conversation. So what's the best unexpected confidence booster you've received? | I have awesome abs. |
t3_1y9q4c | relationships | GF [20 F] gave her out her number to a guy at the bar for seemingly innocent reasons. Am I overacting? | GF [20] and I [22] have been dating for a year (let's call her Stacy). She went to the bar with a few of her female friend this weekend and she doesn't mind being the wingman for her single friends.
The story is she was being hit on by some guy there (call him Jason) and told him she had a bf so he left which is fine. Meanwhile her friend (call her Megan) decided that she wants to get to know one a guy who happen to be a buddy Jason's. So my gf goes to play wingman for Megan by starting to talk to Jason again and get his buddy interested in Megan. Now my gf does get a little flirty when she's been drinking but nothing I'm every worried about.
Now at the end of the night Jason asks my gf for her number to arrange an after party at Jason's buddy's house. My gf ends up giving him her number which is the part that really ticked me off. Then the group of girls went to this guys house to hang out after the bar until 4am or something. I knew about this and she ended up coming back to my place afterwards but did not tell me about giving him her number.
Stacy says that it didn't mean anything and it was just to arrange the after party and try to hook up her friend Megan. I believe her in that regard but I still think it was very disrespectful, which I have told her.
Just wondering if anyone has any suggestions as to where to take it from here.
Thanks | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_inra4 | AskReddit | Have you ever disliked, hated, or made fun of something that you later ended up liking or even loving? | When I was 13, my mom and her friend would always make fun of The Flaming Lips. The two of them were my role models (epsecially in regards to music), so I tagged along with it.
Recently, I've been talking to a guy whose favorite band is The Flaming Lips, so they've been a hot topic. Yesterday, my mom called me into the room saying she had a surprise. "Do You Realize" came out of the cd player and we started laughing and dancing mockingly.
Later, though, I put the cd in to listen seriously and boy, I felt stupid.
All that time I spent being a cynical little turd made me completely miss the message of that song. I love it now. | I finally realize. What are *your* stories? |
t3_3e5wwh | relationships | I (18F) found out my best friend (19F) has been bashing me online and to mutual friends. | So my best friend and I had some issues in the past few months, we have been friends for about 2 years now, but a few months ago, we both liked the same guy, we both fooled around with him. We both were upset, but we got over it, and apoligized to each other and said it wasnt an issue. But recently I found out she has this secret twitter with all these friends she has online, where 75 percent of her posts are her talking serious shit about me. Saying she wished I would leave my job, where she works also. Saying how sick of my shit she is, and how shes about to just be done with me.
But she hasnt mentioned any of this to me ever. She says she doesnt care about the guy anymore, but I know she still has feelings for him. I cut him out of my life completely and got a boyfriend. But I think thats still part of the issue. Its really hurtful that shes saying all these horrible things about me, when she did the same thing to me. And then she doesnt even have the nerve to say any of it to me. I try really hard to be a good friend to her, but at the same time, I dont want to deal with her talking bad about me to everyone.
In the last couple weeks its escalated to talking to mutual friends about how horrible I am. Personally, I dont think I do anything particularly mean or horrible to her. I drive her around everywhere and dont ask for gas money, I try to help her with her relationships with other guys, and I even got her a job. So why is she doing this? Should I even try to repair the friendship?
I dont really have any other friends that I hang out with except my boyfriend, so im hesitant to drop her without a good reason. But im really hurt and bothered by this. I feel like I shouldve known though. She can be really cold to me sometimes, and often if I try to talk about my own problems to her, she'll tell me "I dont care". I just dont really know what to do. | My best friend talks about me on a private twitter and to our mutual friends making me seem like im horrible. And it feels like im the only one putting any effort into our friendship. |
t3_4lg6r4 | Advice | A Concert Ticket Dilemma | I promised my friend a ticket to a concert that we've been meaning to see for two years now, and we were both very excited. The tickets are complementary due to a program I'm part of, and I usually get four, but this time I got two tickets only. However, my little sister also wants to go to the concert. I don't know who to priortize. My little sister (who's a year younger than me and we're very close) or my best friend (who's a year older than me and we're close like siblings)?
One thing was odd though and [that's what my best friend said after I told her the news] I thought it was rude, but is it justified for her to feel this way? Should I give the ticket up and give it to my best friend or is she trying to guilt trip me? I'm so confused, is she even a good friend? | Do I give the concert ticket to my best friend or my sister? Is my best friend ungrateful and justified for being annoyed? |
t3_2yh99y | relationships | I (23M) Recently broke up with my now ex girlfriend (21F) of 2 years and she didn't expect it at all. Starting to have doubts, have I done the right thing? | Basically, she is a lovely girl. Kind, good looking and understanding, even when I was in the process of breaking up with her. However, she is new to things in the bedroom and struggles to communicate her likes/dislikes despite me pushing in the nicest possible way for her to reveal them. Secondly, she is a student with lots of free time where as i have just taken on a career that takes up all my time apart from weekends. These were my main reasons for calling it off, as well as me being young and worried i haven't played the field enough, so to speak.
However since calling it off, I have been having doubts about my decision. she is an outstanding girl and one I would have loved to have met just a few years later on. Have any of you ever been in a similar situation? What decisions did you make? any advice in general is welcome. | Was it worth me finishing it with an absolutely lovely girl for the sake of a few more years messing around and a little less time on my own? |
t3_2fj4xj | relationships | I [25 F] have been with my boyfriend [27 M] for 2.5 years. I checked his email today and now I feel sick. | The other day, my boyfriend suggested going out to a fancy dinner on the day we have off together (we work drastically different hours and rarely have the same days off). There's no holiday, no anniversary, birthday, promotion, etc. He said "it's just cause." I got super excited. He doesn't usually do "just cause" things. In my mind, I was wondering if he was going to ask me to marry him. Well, I got a little too excited. I went and checked his email to see if there was any hint of a ring purchase.
Big mistake.
First off, it's extremely unethical to check his email and now I need to figure out how to come clean to him about it. Secondly, I noticed emails regarding Facebook messages from his ex. I know he speaks to her, but I was curious. So I peeked. Then I logged on to his Facebook. And read them. And started crying. They talked a LOT about sexual stuff. About her sex life. And about her dream that had him in it. And she showed him a picture of her breasts with a hickey on them. And told him that she wishes he didn't have a gf. And he was going along with it. Asking her to tell him about her sex life. Flirting with her. Telling her he was sad that she ignored him to go be with a guy she didn't even like.
I feel sick. And, sadly, I feel more sick about what I read than how I breached his trust. I don't know how I should feel about what I read. Is it normal for people to flirt like that? I mean, I know he keeps in touch with some of his exes, and that in and of itself doesn't bother me. I don't think he'd ever cheat on me physically. I don't even know if I should be upset or not. I certainly feel upset... | I dun goofed by looking at BF's email and FB. How do I come clean about my snooping *and* how should I feel about his conversations with his ex? |
t3_28w9kk | relationships | Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [27 F] of a year, I'm thinking about spending my life with this girl but I have a few concerns - what do you think? | I am absolutely head over heels in love with her mentally and emotionally. She would be a great wife and mother. We have fun together. She's very pretty. But I do have some worries ...
---
1. Her weight. She's always struggled with it and while she wants to lose it, she's pretty steady at 20 or 30 pounds overweight (and was when we started dating). I'm worried that this will affect my physical attraction to her. It already has to be honest. I make sure to stay in good shape.
2. Her willpower. She has very little. I feel like this may be an important quality long-term and it's hard for me to understand because I have a lot of willpower.
3. Inactive lifestyle. I'm very active. I like to go running, hiking, play sports. But it's a bit like pulling teeth to get her to do the same. I'm worried that would dry up completely long term.
Other than these issues, we are really great together. If I let my heart decide, we'd be hitched already, but when it comes to my head, these things nag at me. How important are these issues when it comes to spending your life together? | In love with gf but worried about a few long-term issues. |
t3_18wrk7 | relationship_advice | (19/f) my SO (18/M) wants to break up over something I never knew I was doing | We've been going out for almost a year and a half and have been long distance since July. He told me he wants to break up because while we are apart I get into bad moods and take it out on him by being distant and maybe a little mean (when I asked how I was mean he didn't have examples). I know that was terrible of me and I have no excuse, but I had no idea I was even hurting him, I just thought I was acting distant. He never once tried to tell him that what I said hurt him, if I had known I would have made a major adjustment and apologized profusely.
We've had communication problems in the past, mainly on his side. I've made an effort to be open and discuss my problems, but he never wants to discuss his because he's afraid we'll fight. I thought that was normal, and I wouldn't even call it fighting, we'd just argue.
Because he was mad at me for acting this way he did nothing for valentines day which I thought was pretty immature, and then broke up with me the next day.
I asked him to give me a chance to make it up to him and change, which I thought would be sufficient since he said that this is the only reason he doesn't want to be with me, but he isn't sure if he wants to stay with me because now he's not in love with me.
We talked the day after he broke it off and he decided he wants to see if it's the distance that is making him feel this way. I am seeing him this weekend to talk and right now we are on a break but I am confused by this whole situation and need some advice on what to do? Try to get him back? Give up on us?
I'm sorry for my terrible grammar and story format. | BF wants to break up over something I never knew I was doing; and isn't in love with me now because of it. |
t3_1zupft | relationships | Me [26 F] with my boyfriend [30 M] 1 year, my boyfriend got hit on by a girl and he didn't mention to her that he had a girlfriend | My boyfriend got hit on by a girl. She asked him what his plans were this weekend and instead of telling her that he was hanging out with me (his girlfriend) he simply replied with downtown.
She then invited him to go out with her and her friends and he just said he couldn't go.
Why didn't he just tell her "I have plans with my GIRLFRIEND this weekend, and we're doing 'such-and-such'" ?
I feel like by him not telling her that he has a girlfriend, it's almost inviting her to continue to flirt and hit on him. Maybe I'm just being insecure, but I think he would be bothered if the roles were turned around.
Is there a reason why he did that? He told me I should be thankful that he tells me, because he feels that I'm mature enough to handle these kinds of situations. Also, he said that if he feels like someone crosses the line by asking for his number then THAT would be the time he tells them he has a girlfriend. | my boyfriend got hit on by a girl, but he didn't tell her he had a girlfriend. Should I be worried? |
t3_1bqfic | relationships | [29M] was rejected by really close friend [30F]; many mutual friends; act 'normal' or take time/space? | The story is long and told infinite times before, but I feel like I'm reading and receiving mixed advice.
I (29M) met her (30F) about 3 years ago at work. We had a core group of about 8 of us at work who were/are extremely close. I was transfered to a different state about a year ago and I still fly home about 2-3 times per month to see family and friends. I've almost always had romantic feelings for her, but she only broke up with her long-term boyfriend just as I was leaving and they broke up due to distance issues, so I feel like I never had a reasonable opportunity to tell her how I feel while we were in the same city.
In the last year we became closer, both she and I were single and I think we were both sending mixed signals like we were interested but not sure if we could handle the distance/being such good friends.
I recently asked her if she wanted to take what we had to the next step and she said she had just started seeing someone, and that she wasn't sure if she was still interested (which I take to mean that she really isn't interested anymore). I definitely missed some opportunities in the last year and I'm pretty sure I know what they were (wow hindsight really is 20/20 ..).
I feel like I put myself out there and got tossed off the proverbial cliff .. but I'm not here for comfort. What I'm here to ask is if/when we see each other should I pretend everything is normal? Or should I take time/space to forget about her. In the past I could just cut all ties because they weren't really close friends, but I feel like this is different. Like I said we have several close mutual friends. I'm supposed to fly back next weekend for a get-together. | Same old story: Fell for and rejected by close friend with several mutual friends. Pretend everything is okay or take some time/distance to forget? |
t3_2fxx80 | tifu | TIFU by shouting a racial slur on the tube. | This happened a long time ago (when I was around six), but I've never had a place to share until now.
So, my family and I are travelling to London for the day and my sister & I are sitting next to each other on the tube/subway.
I have my headphones in and it's naturally noisy anyway, so we shout whatever we need to say so we can hear each other over our music.
A couple of stops in, a tall black man gets on the tube and sits directly opposite my sister and I. Immediately without thinking, I shout at the top of my voice "That black man has HUGE lips! Look!" to my sister.
The entire carriage looks up at my tiny, white, six year old self. I think my parents died. | shouted at the top of my voice that black men have huge lips. |
t3_1ra7wt | relationships | Do I(19M) WANT my GF(18F) to cheat on me? | So I'm really confused as to why I feel this way. My girlfriend is in a big sorority at my Uni and is always going to mixers and frat parties without me. We've only been dating for a little over a month and it's hard for me to trust her going to all these parties without me. She has a loooonnngg history of being cheated on which from what I understand makes a girl more likely to cheat.
While we were still a thing, but before we dated I kissed another girl after a frat party and told my GF about it immediately. She was truly upset but seems to have gotten over it. And a few weeks ago at an apartment party I did a body shot off a girl and called my GF immediately almost in tears I felt so wrong. I mention these incidents because I'm worried she my cheat on me in spite of these.
Now, down to the nitty gritty. My GF is always hanging around really attractive dudes and frat guys which really makes me insecure. She has given me ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO THINK SHE IS CHEATING. However, I can't shake the idea that she has and this kind of has turned in resentment. Tonight she left for a party and I secretly hoped she would cheat so I could catch her. I have always had this strange fantasy of catching my partner cheating so I could be the victim and justifiably get angry and leave like in the movies.
However, deep down I know I love my girlfriend and don't want her to cheat. I don't know why I have all these mixed feelings, I just know I'm completely paranoid of getting cheated on. I need your help fellow redditors :( | My GF is always hanging out with alot of guys, but has given me no reason to think she's cheating on me. However, I'm extremely paranoid that she is and secretly want to catch her cheating so I can justifiably get upset about it. |
t3_26p78w | relationships | Is my girlfriend fair or am I psycho? | I'm in this relationship of three years (we're both 19 years old) and my girlfriend went to Uni and things have been going downhill since.
She got funny because I liked a photo on Facebook, of another girl. But I'm not allowed to get funny over the fact she goes clubbing and doesn't tell me when I ask her what she's been up to (she tells me she done this because it's to stop my jealousy), she snapchats guys, a lot, she hasn't snapchatted me in months. She doesn't mention she was in a relationship with me but will say she's in a lesbian relationship with her friend, but she's also single so she isn't there all the time.
When I went to the pub I got told off for simply being out and said "have fun getting on other girls then".
She dresses in a way I don't like which is revealing and I find it off putting if I'm not there to tell guys to do one, but the thing is, she never dresses like that around me. I've told her this, but she says she doesn't want to dress nice because "I don't notice". Which is a lie.
If I'm psycho, let me know, I've arranged to go to the doctors anyway. | girlfriend of three years pays more attention to others, wondering if I'm crazy. |
t3_270x0r | relationships | I (24F) with my Dad (58F), he has a messed up past that he doesn't know I know that explains the way he acts. I don't know how to be okay with it. | A while ago my Dad got extremely drunk around my little sister (20F) and told her three major things. 1) He was in an orphanage for a period as a child 2) He was married for two years when he met my mum 3) He was sexually abused as a child.
My sister has slowly told me these things as she's frustrated at the position that he put her in by telling her those things (and not remembering) and also to talk about it.
My Dad has always had anger issues and will become stressed very quickly over stupid stuff - where he starts yelling and turns bright red. For example my sister has lost her bank card overseas so I'm going to do a money transfer for her- he's stressed that she has lost her card, blah blah. I live with my parents currently and they came home whilst I discussing it with her. He wasn't asked for any assistance but felt the need to comment negatively about it. It pisses me off because my sister is doing the right thing and it will be sorted soon.
He is really insecure about himself but is overweight and constantly making excuses. He is judgemental about so much and quickly dismisses people if they don't fit his idea of how people should act. He has a very dysfunctional relationship with his sisters and when you know about his childhood it makes a lot more sense and I can have empathy for him but I'm not meant to know.
I wish he would've told us all at some point but I can see why he didn't. I'm struggling most with the marriage thing, that seems like something you'd tell your children doesn't it? We don't have any other brothers/sisters apparently. The marriage is news to me today and I've known about the other points for a while now.
How do I keep quiet and not start resenting my Dad for keeping these things from me? He had a terrible relationship with my Mums parents and always talks bad about them- but they likely don't approve how my mum and him started their relationship. | My Dad has had a bad childhood and was married when he met my mum. He told my sister. She told me and he's not the kind of person you can talk to about this stuff. How do I deal with it? |
t3_1nrevu | relationship_advice | [20/m] Not sure what to do with [20/f] | So I've been on a few dates with this girl and we got on really well, we slept together a few times and everything was going great.
Then she got a second job and I didn't see her for a month cause she didn't have any free time, we kept in contact by texting and she seemed to completely lose interest in me, she told me that she doesn't want a relationship cause she has no free time and we're basically over.
I'm not really sure what to do as she's made it pretty clear she wants nothing to do with me so I doubt I can even save the relationship at this point but I just feel like typing all this out is helping me and I need somewhere to vent. | girl gets second job, no free time |
t3_4rq3o9 | relationships | My [26/M] friend initiated [21/F] conversation but didn't reply to my last message... ? Was I creepy? | So there's this girl that I met a little over two months ago, but really started talking to a little over a month. Around the end of May, she asked ME out. I said yes, and we went out together. Shortly a little while after that, my car broke down and I couldn't see her for a couple of weeks. We stilled continued to talk every day for a month after that.
The past 3 weeks, our conversations have slowed down A LOT. Which makes sense, because we haven't seen each other in a while, and with people you haven't seen in a while, they're not going to be at the forefront of your mind. So she barely hits me up as much as she used to. I still have a crush on her though, but I'm not sure what to do.
Anyways, this past Sunday she hit me up asking me what's up. I said I was working and what she was up to, she said she was working too and it was really slow. I said that sucks =\, she said "Yeah, I only made $60." Well, anyways shit came up and I couldn't reply until 2 hours later. I responded back with "Damn. Is Sundays usually this slow. Sorry I didn't reply right away, I was dealing with some BS." - She never replied to that message.
I feel that last message might have seemed thirsty/creepy/desperate. I just wanted to acknowledge that I wasn't ignoring her on purpose. It's been 4 days and still no response.
I feel like she gave me a window of opportunity Sunday to ask her out for the 4th of July. I didn't take that opportunity cause I already had plans. Is there any way I can salvage it? | Friend/crush initiated conversation. I then later followed up with a question, got no reply. I feel like I was either creepy by being too desperate, or not interested enough. Help? |
t3_giz0p | AskReddit | The love of my life is moving away to Vietnam, what can I do? | This is my first time submitting a post here so forgive me if I am doing it wrong.
I am a 22 year old graduate student in California and I am dating a 24 year old girl from my classes who is an international student from Vietnam. We have only been dating for about 4 months but I feel closer to her than anyone in my life. I have never felt about anyone the way I do about her and it scares me that I am so madly in love with her in such a short period of time. I feel like she is "the one" (forgive the cliche) and I can't picture myself with anyone else but her now that we are together
Recently, she has told me that she intends to move back to Vietnam after we graduate in August to move back in with her family and find work there, and I imagine that I would only see her maybe one or two weeks a year if we tried to do the long distance thing. Many times I have tried to convince her to stay and try to find work in America but it doesn't seem like she is willing to try that. I have been so torn up about this recently and I don't know what to do. I have been depressed recently and drinking to try to forget about this inevitability. What can I do or is there anything I can do? Any advice or words of encouragement are appreciated. Thanks in advance! | My girlfriend who I am madly in love with is moving away to Vietnam in four months, probably permanently, and I am depressed and scared. |
t3_1rhf7h | relationships | Me [21 M] with my ex fiancee [22 F] 4-5 years, short-description | I have post from over 8 months ago here r/breakups that go into detail about the break up but to some it up I took her for granted and slowly she started drifting without any signs.
We were best friends and lovers... her words.
Well we talk here and there and I went thru a really rough time the past few months but ever since Sept Ive been able to control myself a bit more and now we are talking thru text every two weeks. Ive been real busy with my art and working as well as school, well point is we been talking and she sent me a video called Cool by gwen stafani and I have read different meaning online I am just curious at what reddit can inform me on.
/i havent felt this emotional breakdown in a while after watching the video and analyzing the video. Really makes me think theres no chance. :(
Thank you honestly. | Want to know the reason she sent me this video today and any predictions on what it can mean. |
t3_rbquc | AskReddit | To people with sexual fetishes dependent on modern society or pop culture: Why? (Probably NSFW) | Most fetishes I can understand. Feet fetishes (most everyone has feet and we regularly admire other parts of the human body), bondage (the desire to be able to control another person), even bestiality (animals gotta fuck too... so why not do it with them?), but all of these fetishes seem rather timeless (i.e., I can see humans getting into this throughout history). But last night I was sent a link to the "My Little Pony" porn subreddit [/r/clopclop] (NSFW)... This is a fetish I don't get... "My Little Pony" has not existed throughout history, yet I am sure there are plenty of people who completely get off on these images.
So to those of you who have fetishes dependent on modern society/technology/pop culture (e.g., "My Little Pony," latex, medical tools, etc.). I ask, why? Can you isolate other, more primal things, that you are also in to which build in to this? For example, are people who are into "My Little Pony" porn also into bestiality, erotic paintings, and long hair? Or have you really never been turned on by anything until you saw one animated pony fucking another? | People with fetishes dependent on modern society/technology/pop culture ("My Little Pony", latex, medical tools, etc.), can you explain your fetish in terms of more primal desires? |
t3_4jfssi | relationships | TL;DR (22yo) guy with one hell of a crush | First of im a guy (22YO) and ive never been in a relationship before cause ive never really had the guts to ask a girl out plus im too picky at times (sucks to be me :') ) and im very insecure about myself, which sucks aswell. Anyways this girl that I have a crush on, man shes the kind of girl who just takes your breath away everytime she looks at you I know it sounds cliché but for the first time in my life thats what Ive felt and it feels stupidly weird but kinda good too yknow.
I kinda have the feeling that she likes me as well but I dont know cause whenever me and my friends hangout at the cafe near our college and she be hanging out with her friends sitting at another table sometimes I realize that shes looking at me, not staring but vaguely looking, and ill be like trying to play it cool and would "accidentally" looked at her and I would look away right after and she would either look down or at her friend when I caught her staring at me, or maybe its just me I dont know.
This one time when the cafe was kinda empty, cause of the finals and all, im just hanging out with my friend as usual and she was in the cafe as well with a friend. She just got out of the ladies room and just when she was about to walk to her table, I looked at her with the intention to give her a nice smile and when she looked at me back everything just went still, my brain was all over the place trying to think how I should smile, I FREAKING FORGOT HOW TO SMILE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, and my heart was beating so fast and so loud I could barely even listen me think on how I should smile. Everything unpaused and obviously I chickened out on me trying to smile and just looked down without any expression looking like a douche and feeling like an idiot. I dont know if it was just me but im pretty sure I felt one hell of a spark at that moment cause ive never felt that with any other women whom ive had a crush before (yeshh that sounds sad). | My question here is, cause im gonna man up and ask her out soon, how do I do it?? Ive never ask anyone out before and now im thinking on how to ask a girl who freezez my brain when she looks at me on a date without making a fool out of myself, yknow. |
t3_1g0lkl | relationships | I [F22] don't know how to approach him [M24] about the topless photo I found | When I went to use my boyfriend's iPad, his email was already pulled up and he had a picture of a topless girl that he sent to himself from his cell phone.
We've been dating 2 years and while I don't want to jump to conclusions, I would like to know why the picture was there.
If it was just porn that he was saving then I'm completely fine with that, but it was an amateur type shot so it's hard to tell if it was something that was sent to him or something he found on the internet.
So i guess my questions are: Should I ask him about the picture? If so, how would I approach the conversation? And is there a way for me to tell if the picture was internet porn or someone that he knows? | Topless photo in my bf's email. Porn or something to worry about? |
t3_46b03v | relationships | Me [26 M] with my gf [26 F] of a few years, she tries to get me mad in arguments. | Just like the title says. There have been times in the past where I raised my voice during a discussion turned argument, since which I've made an effort at eliminating. Raising my voice made her feel terrible, which she explained to me afterwards (which I understand.) Now, the issue has become that if a discussion turns into an argument again, I will take a self-imposed break to gather my thoughts before continuing. This has worked well for me, and I've communicated that to her so she at least knows why it happens. Perhaps as part of a lack of understanding, she gets frustrated by this, which then leads to accusations of me having a temper issue, always being mad in discussions, and eventually, attempts to draw me across the line and actually make me mad.
My issue is simple, I would like for it to stop - I've asked for the accusations to stop already, which has not happened. I'm now resorting to actions to possibly quell the behavior (stopping discussions once the attempts begin, for example) which offers temporary relief, but leads to more fiery discussion again upon resuming.
I've also asked to switch from in person talking, to texting/emailing. It helps with being able to think a bit more coherently and form more organized thoughts. Downside being, context can be interpreted more widely.
In due time, usually a few days, things die down, fences are mended, and we pick up and carry on again, until the next argument.
Would anyone possibly have any suggestions to try and improve the way arguments are handled? Thanks in advance. | Gf doesn't like if I get mad, but does thing to try and make me mad in arguments. Need a way to better handle this. |
t3_2b70ip | relationships | Me [18M] completely getting over her [17F] | So I had been with my girlfriend for just about a year, when she decided to break up with me. That happened a month ago, and I've been wallowing in self-pity since. I've tried getting her back, then just being friends, but it never seemed to work. My friends tell me to completely forget about her, but I still have some hope, although I know I shouldn't; I'm not even sure if I want to go back to dating her at this point. I still think about her a lot, and dream about her, so I'm making actions to stop trying and completely remove her from my life by blocking her on Facebook and other social media, and no longer trying to contact her. Now I don't know how to proceed, since I still think about her. Any advice would be appreciated. | trying to fully move on from first real girlfriend of a year, need advice |
t3_31hkzn | relationships | Me [28 F] losing sense of self worth with [32 M] of 2 years | My SO has a very strong personality.
He loves the spotlight, loves attention, loves to brag, loves validation. I of course like validation and congratulations when due just as much as the next person, but am much more reserved and quiet. I don't want the spotlight, and I'm not nearly as social as him.
His life of the party personality has me feeling so 'in his shadow' among friends and family. I go places without him and people instantly start asking about him. If we're in a social setting together, I feel invisible. I have started avoiding group outings because of the anticipation of feeling small.
I don't have the strength, desire, or confidence to get on his soapbox level, but being on different levels makes me feel so much... beneath him. It's starting to have an effect on my overall sense of self worth. If our friends and families seem to enjoy him so much more than me, do they even want me around or are they just excited to see him, Mr Fun? Are my successes simply not worth bragging about? Do I have anything to be proud of?
I can convince myself that I'm being absurd, that I just need to muster the confidence and happiness I had at the beginning of our relationship, before I started to feel like I was drowning socially when in groups with him, that I am doing just fine and have so much to be proud of, but the doubts and feelings of inadequacy all rush back so quickly.
I'm starting to doubt if I have the strength to search for my lost confidence anymore. Is this all on me? Should I expect him to do a better job of making me feel included? Am I just realizing that our personalities may not be compatible? | can't keep up with SOs social spotlight needs, has me doubting my own self worth. get over it? ask for some accommodation from him? or are we just too different? |
t3_v3via | AskReddit | Last night the Police knocked on my door at 1:00 AM on an "Unattended Children" welfare call. I refused to let him into my home without a warrant, to which he replied he didn't need one on welfare calls. Reddit, what are my rights in this sort of situation? | I live in Texas, and I'm sitting in my study at 1 AM playing a computer game when there is a knock on my door. Now, I don't live in the best part of town, and I'm somewhat of a paranoid man, so I refuse to open the door not knowing whether he was actually an officer or not (It also didn't help that I had no peep-hole and no way to see if he was who he said he was). The officer then claims he is responding to a call about unattended children and wants to come in and look around. I tell him there are no children here but informed him that "I'd be happy to let you in if you have a warrant, but without one I do not give permission to enter my home." He then informs me that on a welfare call he does not need a warrant to enter my home and then threatens to break the door down. I stand my ground and tell him he may not enter without a warrant, which is followed by silence. In this time I go to another room and look out of the window, see the badge and gun, and then go outside to meet him. It turns out the caller hadn't given him the full address and he was at the wrong place. He then (in a very polite and respectful manner) informs me he does not need a warrant to enter my home on a welfare call.
Reddit, is this true? If so, then what are my rights if this happens again? Care to expand my knowledge (and most likely that of others) of what to do in this situation? | Officer says he doesn't need a warrant to enter a home without permission on a welfare check in Texas. IANAL, is this true? |
t3_3916jo | tifu | TIFU by making a girl think she had been a victim of fraud. | This happened just today (surprise) , and I still feel horrible about it.
around 2 hours before the fuck up I was with my friends after an exam in our free time before a revision session, we went to my friend's (lets say sarah) and played some mortal kombat before we went back to school. With Sarah was her friend who I had barely spoken to before, she seemed really nice and I quite liked her.
Fast forward to later at lunch, I was with another person who was also at Sarah's house, she suggested it would be funny if she gave me the girls number and we 'prank-texted' her. If anyones interested, [heres the text I sent](
Pretty convincing right? A little too convincing apparently as according to Sarah who arrived a while after I sent it she had called her father and was close to crying. I managed to bump into the girl at the end of lunch, who insisted I didn't speak to her when I tried to apologise, I felt quite bad.
I to find her after school to find she wasn't as annoyed as before, but I wouldn't describe her as my biggest fan. | Made a girl think she had payed for a £ 550.98 laptop and she didn't find it funny. |
t3_23n502 | relationships | Me [22/m] and the girl [21/f] I'm interested in are kind of related... | I'm pretty embarrassed to post this (hence the "anonymous" account), but the only person I feel comfortable enough talking to face-to-face about the issue is the female involved. I'm desperate for advice.
I've been thinking about asking this girl out for a while, but was always hesitant because I knew we were distant cousins. We began talking for a few weeks, and recently started going out on dates. Things have been great - holding hands in public, kissing, sleeping with each other (no sex or messing around or anything, just cuddling and shit) - until her mother brought up the fact that we're kind of related. We talked it out, and things were good for a few weeks, then a friend asked her last night why her relative had feelings for her.
So here's the situation: our grandparents are brother & sister. Firstly, would we be considered 3rd cousins? Secondly, I know it's legal, but is it unethical for us to have feelings for each other? We've been able to fight it off for the most part. We obviously are very happy with each other and have feelings for each other. I've told her that I feel that we're distant enough that I don't see much wrong with it, but I understand and respect her if this is what prevents us from getting in to a relationship. Am I right or wrong? If I'm right, how the hell should I explain this to her? | Kind of related to a girl that I'm interested in and I kind of feel like a creep. |
t3_1n6lqo | relationships | Different stages of the relationship between my friend (16m) and his girlfriend (17f). | So my friend (I'll call him S) has been wondering about his relationship recently, he believes his girlfriend (T) has been going too slow in the relationship(not physically) and not putting in enough effort. Her friends have told S that T has commitment issues. S has talked to T to ensure she still has feelings for him, and she has said the relationship has been great. She doesn't seem to like to do stuff, just the two of them. She prefers to do stuff that involves more of our friends. However, she is quite pushed for time at the moment with college (UK) and work, but S has still been doing about 90% of the work. S has tried to talk about the relationship, but T tries to avoid it.
BTW, the reason I'm doing this is because my friend doesn't use reddit.
So what do you think my mate should do? They clearly have different views on the relationship, and my friend really doesn't know what to do. | My friend is on a completely different wavelength to his girlfriend and doesn't know what to do. Help please. |
t3_12p2r0 | AskReddit | Today, I experienced instant Karma at college. (See text for full, short story) It was super satisfying to see, to say the least. Reddit, what was your best case of Instant Karma you experienced, and how good or bad did you feel? | After a great lunch, I decided it was time for me to head back to college because I had a class in about 15 minutes. After searching for a parking spot for about 5 minutes, I find a perfect spot between my next class, and my last class for the day. Perfect.
I'm literally turning into the spot and some cockmunch, knowing I'm about to park there, jumps in and steals it. Now, I didn't mind, because I thought it was hilarious, but the guy in the truck, who was stealing my spot, was grinning an "I just stole your spot" grin, so I got a little annoyed because he was purposely trying to make me mad. Plot twist! He backs into the spot, which is illegal at South Plains College (Located in Levelland, Texas), and I think to myself, "I hope that bitch gets a parking ticket."
I smile back at him, and park in a new spot across the street, which isn't as convenient as my stolen spot. He walks to class and is still giving me the "I'm a shithead" grin. After my hour and 15 minute class, I go back to check the windshield to see if there is a ticket. Oh yeah. He has a ticket. I leave him a little note (second link), and go on my way.
Moral of the story? Don't be a bitch ass. | Guy deliberately stole my parking spot, got parking ticket after. I left him a little note. He's a bitch ass. |
t3_38y9b4 | tifu | TIFU by imitating my babies cries... | My son is 8 months old. He is an always cheerful baby, but recently, since his teeth are coming up, he becomes nervous when eating, and after a while becomes to nervous to eat.
Today (one of the rares TIFU, which actually happened Today), he was eating some mashed banana, and I was holding him, while my wife was feeding him. After a while he became nervous again, and stopped eating. So we put him on the sofa, and my wife started feeding me, the same she fed him, just to check his reaction.
And he was surprised, he looked with a smile and interest at the whole ordeal, so I decided to continue imitating him.
Usually, he started crying when he was done with his food, especially banana or apple. He threw a tantrum from time to time, because he really loves those.
So I did the same, I started stomping with me feet and imitating his cries.
He rose his head and was confused, as to what was going on...
So I took it a notch up and cried louder, and with more intensity,... same as he did when he was really agitated.
In that second, he started to cry with me :(
He was so much crying that it became an elongated scream...
I was never so sad in my whole life, to make him cry this much with something I thought would be fun..
He probably thought, that I am in problems or pain, and started to cry because his daddy was hurt.
I know I will never do it again for sure... | Imitating my baby made him cry for me*** |
t3_28mzn6 | relationships | I'm [29 F] considering a legal separation from my husband [37 M]. I love him dearly, but his irresponsibility knows no bounds. | My husband and I have been married about 3 years, but have been together 9 years. We have a 1 yr old daughter. I make about 2.5 times as much money as he does, so I expect to pay more of our expenses. However, he is by far the least responsible person I have ever met in my life. Every day I come home to find past-due/shut-off notices for bills he's forgot to pay. If he does pay a bill on time, he only pays half, magically thinking that the other half will disappear. He has $0.00 in his savings account and always has. His checking account is constantly overdrawn. I lent him my credit card a couple weeks ago to buy gasoline, but I when I logged into my account this month, there was a $760 balance because he kept using it for any and everything. He also frequently "borrows" money from me without telling me, which would be fine if he only just told me he needed extra money, because then I could budget it. However, he just withdraws money without discussing it, leaving me to wonder why my checking account is near empty when I go to pay our bills.
I'm at my wits end. I have tried everything in my power to help him manage his money, but I've come to accept that he will never change. At this point, I think a divorce might actually save me money in the long run, but I still love him. He's kind and funny and a good father. I just simply can't afford this marriage any more.
Has anyone gone through a similar situation? Do you think a trial separation is a good first-step before moving forward with a divorce? | I love my husband, but he is bankrupting our family. |
t3_ws2ae | relationships | Is she wanting me to react a certain way to her ex? | I was told to repost in r/relationships. I (M/19) have been dating a girl (19) for a short time now (2 months). Her ex happens to be a good friend of mine from college. From what she has told me, he was her first and he was the one to end things with her. That was just under a year ago, and she has not been in a relationship in the time between him and I. My problem is she seems to talk about him quite frequently and when she does she asks if it bothers me. I always say "it doesn't" because I trust her, but she keeps asking anyways. She seems to make him a bigger and bigger part of the conversation each time (She started by just mentioning his name and apologizing, and now she's asking if it bothers me if we go see his band play). Is this her way of trying to get me to show my jealous side? Or is the fact that she constantly brings him up sign that I'm just here to fill the void he left? | Gf keeps bringing up ex and continuously asks if I'm bothered by it |
t3_3p85id | personalfinance | Finishing college soon, some questions. | Hello PF I'm going to be finishing college in about 8 months, here is my potential situation.
I'm working on my associate degree to become an electronics technician. Intel is recruiting heavily at my school, and it seems likely I will get picked up by them. So if I'm lucky I may be earning a decent wage really quickly out of school. My question is all of my student loans are through federal I have about ~ $16k of student debt, but I'm not sure exactly what the interest is (my best guess based on the website is 4.6%). I was originally planning on paying about $1k/month on student debt and investing about $500-750 but since it seems like my interest is so low I've now considered investing $1k-1.5k a month and paying much lower on my student loans. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each of those strategies? | Invest money aggressively and pay student loans slowly, or pay student loans aggressively and invest slowly. |
t3_12c929 | relationships | Boyfriend[26m] would rather look at porn then be with me [21f] | Basically I've been with my boyfriend for over two years and everything was fine and dandy in the beginning but now I feel like whenever I'm not around he's looking at porn. I realize all guys do it fine whatever but he only wants to have sex with me once a week MAYBE. All of this is really killing me, because I feel like he's just not interested in me anymore and if I ask him about it he gets kind of angry and just tells me it's normal for guys to do it and that he does love me. | My boyfriend looks at porn everyday but only wants to be with me once every one or two weeks. |
t3_4yv541 | relationships | Me [18 m] with my gf [18]: is this cheating? what should i do? | My gf basically has this guy friend (also 18), and when we first got together, she'd go out for meals with him which he would pay for. I told her i didnt feel comfortable with this, and she admitted if i was doing the same thing with a girl she'd feel the same way. She said she'd stop going out with him and i thought that was the end of it.
Then a few days ago, she was in the shower and her phone was lying next to the bed and i saw she received a message of said guy saying something along the lines of "are you okay to come round tuesday?" i know its not completely ethical but curiosity got the better of me so i checked her messages with the guy.
Turns out they've been meeting up over the past few months (her going to his house or them meeting up for coffee etc.). There was no mention of sex or anything intimate even but still... she's completely broken my trust and i can't help but feel there must be something going on there.. what do i do now? any advice would be welcome. | gf been meeting up with a guy friend without telling me, cant tell if there is anything actually going on. |
t3_2uo3ej | relationships | Me [21 M] with my Girlfriend [20 F] of 4 years are having issues getting frustrated with each other. | Myself (21M) and my girlfriend (21F) of 4 years are having issues lately with frustrations. She constantly gets frustrated about every single little thing. For example, we were out looking for apartments today (we live on campus at the college we are finishing up this year) and we are wanting to live on our own. When we were driving around, she was navigating, and kept getting frustrated with me for driving too fast, too slow, or not turning even though she wasn't giving good directions. I was ok with this until she started talking to me like I was a child and getting upset. I just gave up and let her drive, then she started getting upset with me for telling her where to go, and helping her with where to turn. Eventually, the little things that upset her end up making me feel like I have to walk on eggshells for the rest of the day, and she gets frustrated that I do that too. More recently, I've just given up, and when she does that, I just get upset and usually start yelling, or just leave and let her be alone. It gets more ridiculous though when she will let her entire day be ruined because she accidentally knocked over a cup of pencils, or got semi-bad news from somewhere that really isn't that big of a deal. Anyways, long story short, she doesn't believe she is acting this way and doesn't see at all why she is acting ridiculous, even though I explain it to her. She acts constantly upset and miserable around me, but anytime we are around friends, or family she is happy and fun. I have no idea what to do, and have been putting up with this for 4 years, and I'm just about done with it. | My girlfriend keeps getting upset and frustrated and takes it out on me even though I'm loving and supporting. |
t3_1rvsq7 | relationships | Me [17 F] with my crush [22 M], mixed signals and potential issues with age difference. | Hey, so my crush and I work together. Due to the nature of the job, we don't always interact, but basically, we worked together pretty closely for a short time the summer before last and again last week. He asked for my number and we flirted a bit.
Anyhoo, he asked how I am, I told him, and asked if it bothered him because obviously there is a significant difference. He said he didn't mind but that he would have guessed I was 19 or 20 (most people do; apparently I seem a lot older than I am). He did say that he was little worried about what our boss would think. I know our boss pretty well, and I don't think it will be an issue, but who knows.
So that all seemed fine and good, but then as we were texting his responses have become more delayed. They aren't curt or disinterested, they're actually longer and more enthusiastic than I am used to over text interaction, but I'm a little worried that the age gap really is bothering him.
What do you guys think? Is there anything I can do, or should I just wait is out and see what happens?
I wasn't sure on how much context to provide, so feel free to ask clarifying questions. Thanks! | Age difference maybe causing problems. Should I do something, try to talk it out, or just see what happens? |
t3_2g9hbv | relationships | My [25F] boyfriend [28M] of 10 years doesn't grow up. | I really don't know what to do anymore. I've been patient, we are living together now for 6 years and the more time passes and we have to decide what path to take on our lives, the more I ask myself what am I doing with him. I realized I could not get married to him, I really don't want to.
He doesn't know what he wants to do with his life, but he doesn't even try... and I mean it, he doesn't want to study hard, exercise, learn anything, watch a fucking TV show that is new... I talk about the things I want in a few years (travel the world before I settle down)and all he says is "OK, we'll see", " yeah, I would probably go with you, I don't know ". I know that means a no, or if it's a yes it's like " I'll just sit here and wait for you to do everything, I'll follow you if you make the effort of taking me ". You know?
I don't see how I could end it, but I can't keep going like that. And its not just the future, it's the right now, he doesn't want any responsibility at all. I didn't want any too, but here I am trying to make this fucking married life I didn't ask for in the first place work.
I don't want to end it, but o don't know if I should. And I don't know how I'd do it. | my bf doesn't want anything from his life and I don't know if I want to be with him anymore. |
t3_o5yoe | AskReddit | Is it wrong to have high standards on looks when wanting a relationship? | So I recently started dating a girl whom I've been friends with for around 2 years, and when I asked why she wanted to date me she told me (basically) because I'm not an asshole. Let me explain this a bit; Her track record with guys has generally been the "bad boy" persona, i.e. rough, tough, not afraid to drink/smoke weed, doesn't really care about school, etc. I, however, don't drink, don't smoke, focus in school, avoid bad crowds, and have always been her rock; I would let her tell me about her problems, how her boyfriend is ignoring her, family issues, stuff like that, simply because I like to be "that guy" that girls can talk to. She tells me how I'm sweet, caring, funny, charming, not focused on sex, that I care about her, etc.
Now is when I admit that I'm not the best looking guy in school, I'm about 25 lbs overweight (cause I'm American, haha) and I have acne. I ask her about this and she tells me she doesn't focus on the outside, but what's on the inside. She could definitely do better than me, she's gorgeous and has a great personality.
So, after thinking this over, I realized that looks are a major factor in my relationships. I do focus on personality too, but if I met a girl with the perfect personality but a not so perfect body I probably wouldn't date her. I realize that's kind of hypocritical since I'm nowhere near perfect myself, but does that make me stuck up or snobby? Does anyone else feel this way? | Is it wrong of me to have high standards on looks when wanting a relationship with someone? |
t3_18q779 | relationships | I [22f] never told my boyfriend [24m] of 2 years that I used to be involved with one of his college friends because it was before we even met, should I tell him now? | Back in my first year of college, before I met my now boyfriend, I made out with (a few times) and was quite emotionally involved with another guy, who had a girlfriend at the time. Throughout this period of about a year, I never met my now boyfriend who was quite good friends with this other guy, because he had already moved out of college and our path's never crossed. I am also fairly certain that this guy I used to hook up with wouldn't have told my now-boyfriend about us at the time, because his girlfriend was best friends with my now boyfriend's girlfriend back then! Two years later I met my boyfriend, pretty much fell for him straight away, and now we're pretty serious, discuss moving to another city and marriage etc.
Should I tell my boyfriend about my history with his friend?
I am worried that he will be angry at me for not telling him, but it was before we had even met. I am also afraid he will judge me for becoming involved with a guy in a relationship. I am also worried to leave it any longer before telling him, the secret will get bigger and bigger. The other guy is in the army and so is barely around anyway, and based in a different city etc. | I used to hook up with my boyfriend's buddy before I met him, should I tell him now? |
t3_2ieqiq | relationships | I [20M] think I'm getting cold feet about moving in with my girlfriend [20F] | We've been dating for about a year now. We're moving in together this April in a city about two hours away from home for school. She'll be living off student loans until next year, as will I until September where I'll be working as a nurse and making good money. We priced it out, and us living together is going to cost about the same as her living in a dorm for her program.
Financially, we're golden. Our relationship is amazing, we haven't had a fight yet, and we're going strong. We're both planning on getting married a few years down the road. The reason I'm starting to question us living together is I still live with my parents. This will be her third year living away from home. I feel like I'm missing out on living by myself first. I want to get the experience of having to shop, cook, and clean entirely for myself on my own, not with her as I fear it may put strain on our relationship. In addition to this, I almost feel as if I'm missing out on the scary, exciting experience of living by myself. What should I do? | Girlfriend of 1 year and I are moving in come April. Financially sound, relationship is sturdy as a rock. I'm worried about missing out on the experience of living alone. What should I do? |
t3_30frik | relationships | Me [18 F] with my friend [27 M] considering a relationship. | Hi there Reddit!
So I met this guy through a mutual friend. Within the first few days, we just hit it off. We both answered this little questionnaire that is basically just telling the other person in-depth things about yourself, that normally aren't asked. After that, we both eventually started talking about a relationship.
I'm still thinking about it, because I'm slightly concerned about the age difference. But, we're both really into each other, we have many many things in common, but we're not exactly the same. He just in general makes me feel amazing. I struggle a lot with depression, so that's saying something.
I just don't know Reddit. Personally, I really want this relationship. However, I don't want my young, crazy heart getting the better of me. | Met an older man via mutual friend, both of us want a relationship but I'm hesitant. |
t3_y8j7d | AskReddit | I ran a red light to prevent a potential crash that didn't become a crash. I believe cameras may have been at the intersection. Any legal advice if it's brought up and taken out of context? | Was driving up A1A around noon when I saw a car not turn in his turn-only lane. And instead went straight into the [two-way turning lane] right through the intersection.
Now this struck me as bizarre but I brushed it off as a mistake, an innocent one, but one that could have gotten hairy. I pass them and then arrived at the next intersection and kept an eye on the person. I found the person still driving through the center turn lane and not planning on breaking or slowing down.
I watch my rear view mirror in complete awe as the car slaps right into a medium (the ankle high ones, not the waist high ones) at no less than 40 mph and I see it take about a foot of air. At this moment I'm scared shitless as this thing is less than 30 feet away. I have no idea if the person's drunk, asleep, dead or what. I don't know if they have any idea how to stop their car, or if it's even in their control.
Now here comes the part I realize was probably the worst thing I could have done, I panicked. I looked at the three-way intersection left and right for anyone. Saw a car pretty far away coming at the intersection to my left. But I said fuck it and stomped my pedal like it raped a daughter of mine. I made it out clear and managed to look behind me and saw that the car was now two lanes away from the center and almost completely facing the side walk (still on the correct side of the road thank god). The person immediately steered right back into the lane as if nothing happened. With a nasty dent in their bumper. I don't think the person would have hit me, but I didn't want to take that chance over my own sudden instinct to look around and then gun it. | See a car behind me hit an ankle high medium @ 40mph, panic, look around as well as I can and gun the red light. |
t3_1hhxsc | running | Almost passed out after Sunday's long run (please be careful in the heat!) | Went for a 10-miler at 3 PM on Sunday with a temp outside of about 85F and sunny. There was a decent breeze, but it was still very warm and I was not properly hydrated beforehand. I felt fine during and right after the run, but about an hour later, I was standing in line at a food truck and suddenly felt AWFUL. Cold sweat, stomach pains, dizziness... I sat down and drank some water and Coke (Coke is what really helped, I think). My blood sugar must have been pretty low, even though I did eat some Clif shot bloks during and after my run. Once I settled down and ate some food I was fine, but I know I came dangerously close to passing out. Wouldn't have been the first time, but it's never pleasant, especially in a crowd of people. | Don't be stupid in the heat, even if it doesn't feel too bad out. Keep yourself hydrated and nourished, and try to avoid running in the middle of the day. I know this is basic stuff, but for real - take care of yourself out there! |
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