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t3_k3dp4 | AskReddit | Reddit, I need your help. | I am a mechanical engineering student in my freshman year. When ordering my books I got all of the required texts. However, my first day of my ME class my professor told me that one of the several books he listed as optional were actually required. I searched all of the bookstores on campus only to find that all of them were sold out and wouldn't have any more copies in for another week or so. I have homework assigned from this book and am unable to do it because I don't have the book. I e-mailed my professor and he basically said "tough luck." So, basically, Reddit, I was wondering if anyone could find me a .pdf or some sort of electronic version of this book: Parametric Modeling with Autodesk Inventor 2012. | Professor listed book as optional. Don't have it, sold out everywhere, really need it for homework (Parametric Modeling with Autodesk Inventor 2012) |
t3_2daexw | relationship_advice | I am a [20/F] who wants to end my two-year relationship with my first [19/M] boyfriend. | Let me start by giving you some background information. I have been dating the same guy for two years, since my last semester of my senior year of high school. He's was first and only boyfriend, my first kiss, my first everything, so I have never broken up with anyone before. Our relationship has for the most part been long distance with the exception of summers, seeing as we go to different colleges, about 2 hours apart. There have been some pretty blatant red flags in our relationship, but I am ashamed to say I let them go for so long because I was desperate to be in a relationship, and I was afraid of being alone. He holds me to a double standard about hanging out with the opposite gender, where I can't hang out with guys without him getting upset and making me feel guilty, while he frequently hangs out with girls. He resists any attempt at having a serious, adult conversation, talking to me in almost exclusively cutesy talk (calling me cute, cutie, and playing the "I love you", "I love you more" game). He also gets upset if I don't constantly give him kisses or let him grab my butt, and has complained about it multiple times. I've tried talking to him about all of these things and more, but every time I try he gets angry and claims that I hate him and other terrible things (he has a really bad temper). Overall, I feel like we no longer have much in common, and I'm done turning a blind eye to these red flags and have accepted that he's not capable of being in a mature relationship. I don't hate him, there's no bad blood between us, but I do not want to spend the rest of my life with him. I don't know how to end this or any relationship, and I know he doesn't want it to end- he thinks that everything is fine, and tells me he wants to marry me someday. I want to break up with him sooner rather than later to spare us both some pain, but I honestly don't know how to go about it if the feeling's not mutual. I'd like to stay friends, but with his temper I feel like that is never going to happen if I end it.. | I want to break up with my very first boyfriend, but I have no clue how since he doesn't want the relationship to end and thinks everything is great. |
t3_2uxpxr | relationships | Me [20F] with my 2 [18-21F] roommates, make four course meals and never do dishes | So this isn't a huge deal, but after almost six months of living with them its starting to really piss me off.
I live with three roommates total, but two of them (they're sisters, ages mentioned above) constantly leave our sink piled with just about every dish we own. They make dinners for their friends at least once a week, and leave the dishes full of food to stagnate in the sink until someone else does them (usually me).
I've tried to confront them about at least rinsing the dishes so they aren't full of crusty, hard-to-get-off food, and they turned it around on me. Verbatim, "Honestly, I think its mostly you and [fourth roommate] that do that". That statement is blatently false, and even if it wasn't, I almost exploded from hearing that reaction.
I'm sick of having to wash tons of dishes every night. Advice? | Roommates are slobs, blame me |
t3_4v29wg | relationships | I [28/F] just started dating someone new [33/M]. How much interest is too much interest? | So basically I broke up with my ex of two years eight months ago. He was very abusive emotionally, constantly criticizing and controlling me. My therapist has told me that she believes he was a narcissist, which I think is very accurate. He was extremely hurtful to me and then disappeared suddenly.
In the beginning of the relationship he was very available and interested, texting me all day, telling me he wanted to marry me, saying "I love you" after two months, asking me to move in. Then after a few months he completely changed and became very distant and slowly very critical of me. I knew something was wrong but I ignored that instinct because he was so great in the beginning. In basics, I was hooked and couldn't give up on the dream that he made me believe in and it became a nightmare.
Since the breakup I have taken it very slow dating. I have been seeing a few guys just as FWB more than anything and comfortable with that. I have worked a lot in therapy about red flags and boundaries.
Two weeks ago I met someone online. He seems very nice, he's very funny and we seem to have a lot in common. However, he has texted me every day since we met, sometimes every few hours sparking conversations about random things. Each time it makes me feel a little strange in my gut because it flashes me back to my ex seducing me in.
We only met in person on Monday and he was telling me that he wanted to cancel his weekend plans to spend time with me, which I declined because I have plans. We then scheduled a date for this Monday. This also seemed like kind of a red flag since he doesn't even really know me.
How do you know when the interest is real and when it is love bombing and unhealthy? I admit with my ex that I started seeing red flags pretty soon but just ignored them because I didn't trust myself, but they were much worse than this stuff. I can't tell if I am looking too closely or if this is just somebody interested in me. I mean I may just be over-pathologizing or maybe I am too scared still to really get close to someone. | New date is very interested. Healthy or love bombing? |
t3_1bkjlq | AskReddit | How do you guys handle the urge to smoke? | Hey guys I have been a pretty heavy smoker this last year almost a pack a day and I constantly get sick and tired of it. I tried quitting on and off for about 2 months and I couldnt last longer than a day!
Good news is I got the flu recently and I havnt had a smoke in 4 or 5 days. For some odd reason now that I am recovering from the flu, i cant stop thinking about having that 1 smoke.... that 1 harmless smoke which I know wont be my last but I tell myself it will be....
I know its weird that I am still craving these urges after almost a week but for some reason i just cant stop thinking about smokes..... just knowing i can have one when ever i can kills me.... | I QUIT SMOKING AND I AM WONDERING WHAT HELPS YOU GUYS STAY CLEAN |
t3_3gl9wi | relationships | My boyfriend (20M) and I (20F) realized we're both taking each other for granted. How do we make our relationship interesting again? | We've been together almost two years, and we're about to start our junior year of college. We've had our ups and downs throughout the period. The main issue has always been me not wanting to go out on dates and him not wanting to have sex very often.
We're apart for the summer but will reunite in 3 weeks. We'll be moving into an apartment with other roommates, but we'll have our own bedroom and bathroom. We've never lived together before and are excited/scared by the prospect.
Last night we talked about our problems and we came to the conclusion that our relationship has gotten kind of stale and we're taking each other for granted. He doesn't want to have sex with me because he doesn't see the pressing need, I'm there all the time. I feel the same way about going out on dates.
I know the obvious answer is "have more sex" and "go on more dates", but at the moment it's not as enticing as it should be. My question is more broad. How can we as a couple get the spark back? How can we make our relationship more interesting and less 'old married couple'? I want to be excited to spend time with my boyfriend again, and he wants to feel that excitement too. | Our relationship has lost its spark, we have routines when it comes to sex, dates, etc. and we're looking for ways to make things interesting again. We have no prior relationship experience, so even the most basic suggestions would be useful at this time. |
t3_qgvz9 | AskReddit | I'm Climbing Mt Kilimanjaro to raise money and awareness for Amnesty and I need help | Awesome if you actually clicked on this link don't run away, I'm not just asking for donations :P Although donations would be fantastic I understand that people can't always donate. I also need some ideas for how to fund raise to a wider audience than my current friends and uni students.
For a little about me/what I am doing:
So at the end of last year my sister rang me up and asked if I wanted to climb a mountain. So of course like any normal Aussie I said sure I'll do that, I've climbed a few of our mountains before. Turns out she wasn't talking about in the country but one all the way over in Africa, and it's to fund raise. Now I've already agreed to go and do this and I'm a man of my word so I sign up anyway.
So gathering more details I find out this for Amnesty Australia, our little sub branch of Amnesty international(awesome human rights charity), and the goal is to raise 5 thousand dollars. This is where I hit a snag. I'm a poor uni student, all my friends are poor uni students and being a SAP I don't really get out to much. So I need help to reach out to a wider audience, any ideas or insight from previous experience would be fantastic. | Bit of a SAP, hard to get Uni students to part with drinking money, need some help fund raising. |
t3_354q1n | relationships | The guy [27M] I've [22F] been seeing for the past couple months is leaving for a month this summer. | We've been seeing/dating/hanging out for the past couple months after being friends for about 2 years. Nothing super serious, but it's definitely not casual...there's a connection.
He's leaving for a vacation for 1.5 months this summer. Two days before he will come home i'll be leaving for a month.
We haven't discussed anything about where our relationship's going or what we are doing.
I know I really care about him and I don't plan on seeing anyone else while we're apart. But i'm also not interested in defining a relationship when we'll be apart for two months.
Just need some advice. | Guy I've been seeing is leaving for the summer and when he gets back i'll be gone for a month. Should I discuss "us" before he leaves or just leave it be? |
t3_1jfvec | relationships | Me[27/m] with my Girlfriend [25/f] of 2 years, communication problems | Hi r/relationships. I'm going to try to keep this quick without going too much into detail.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for around 2 years and have been relatively good at communicating. We have minor arguments and always make up in usually less than a day.
There have been two different occasions however, where we'll have a very simple argument that's most likely just a snide comment, or something taken the wrong way, where she kind of goes off and does her own thing, and we don't talk for a night. The next day (we live together) she kind of explodes with everything she's been frustrated about with us for, for the last 4 or 5 months. Things I'm doing wrong, or that I'm not listening to her, or she does more than I do etc. But when I ask her to bring up specific events, she can't, so and it really bothers me because I feel like I'm under attack without the ability to defend myself.
I don't think I'm a bad communicator, if something bothers me I try to talk about it shortly after it happens and resolve it, this normally goes well.
I've told her before that I dislike when she does this, especially because of an argument that has nothing to do with what she's going off about, and that if she has an issue, she needs to bring it up in a calm manor when we're both feeling okay and ready to have a discussion, not when we're still lingering onto something that has us angry.
Can I get some help? We're not talking to each other right now and tbh I'm really frustrated. Is there something I can be doing better, or can someone help me with explaining why this bothers me? (I've told her this before). | gf of 2 years can't communicate properly, bottles things up and explodes when we have fights that have nothing to do with anything that she's upset about in the first place. What can I do to fix this? |
t3_1l1m54 | relationship_advice | Help Reddit I'm scared of losing my girlfriend but I may be over thinking? | So my girlfriend and I [m] of 3 months, we're both 21, hit a rough patch last week (I understand we haven't been dating long but please hear me out). She asked me if I was happy with our relationship and we ended up having a long talk one night where she agreed to stop taking out aggregation from work on me for no reason and I would start showing more affection. I told her I really liked her a lot and wanted to stay together and she told me she likes me but doesn't like me a lot and that the rough patch made her feel differently. This obviously made me feel upset but she hugged and kissed me and we ended up having sex that night anyways.
The problem is, is that I'm extremely worried I may lose her now. She is very attractive, as any good bf would say, and she gets a lot of attention from guys asking to go on dates or even send them a picture of her boobs (all of which she definitely did not do). Neither one of us really care about going "Facebook official" because we are 21 and we aren't in high school anymore where that shit actually happens. Being FB official may solve the issue with other dudes but I just want to get her to fall for me again and have a good relationship. The past few days I've been spending all the time I can with her including a dinner I made and walks and going to he fair. She still shows a lot of affection towards me but I just want to know if there's a way I can prove how much I like her, get her to feel the same way again, and possibly confront her about the other dudes asking her out (in no way do I tell her who she can't hangout with). Please help reddit! | gf said she doesn't like me as much as she first did but still shows affection. Other guys ask her out on dates. I want to know how to get back to when she really liked me and make sure we don't break up. |
t3_3cuc07 | relationships | Me [27 F] with my bf [28 M] broke up after 4 years of relationship and I still cannot get intimate with another man | Dated with my ex-boyfriend for almost 4 years. During our relationship, he was the one that told me he loved me and wanted a familly with me. I was the one acting really distant and he always complained that I am emotionally detached and that I don't love him.
So, about 3 months ago we broke up. He started sleeping with and eventually dating another girl in less than 2 weeks after we broke up. I am not exactly jealous, but I feel hurt and misled.
Since our break up I had several opportunities to sleep with other guys but I could not get myself to doing it. For some reason, it felt wrong to me. It felt that I cannot touch, kiss or be close with another man.
It has been already 3 month and I still can not get over this particular feeling.
Any advice? | Me [27 F] with my bf [28 M] broke up after 4 years of relationship and I still cannot get intimate with another man / Any advice? |
t3_4ijj84 | personalfinance | Housing and how much we can afford | My boyfriend and I have a combined income of about 3,000-3,200 dollars a month we currently pay my mother 500 dollars a month to rent a small room in her house. We each pay about $100 dollars a month in car insurance. My boyfriend pays 80 dollars a week in health insurance. We both pay about $120 a month for our phone bills. Neither of us have a car payment.
So my question is, can we afford to move out? And how much can we realistically afford to pay for housing? We both have a couple grand saved up, we are pretty good with money, we definitely don't live paycheck to paycheck. The cheapest appartments we've looked at are our $550 plus utilites. | Wondering what we can realistically afford. |
t3_4ivf89 | relationships | Me [24 M] and my ex [25 F] can't be together but want to remain friends. Any advice on what obstacles to beware of/how to transition from lovers to friends? | Last night, me and my ex of a year and a half decided that, although we love each other and want one another to be happy, our relationship was not working.
We argued so much and always seemed to fall out. It was making us both feel frustrated and bad about ourselves.
It is a sad decision but we're both sure that we need to do this. We're also adamant that we will keep in touch and will be much better friends.
In fact, we have a holiday to Poland booked for next later this month which we intend to go on.
My question to anyone who has been something through a similar is what problems are likely to come up?
How do we deal with the point when one of us starts to see someone else? How do we avoid being super intimate friends which scare off any new partners?
What should I expect emotionally?
Appreciate any serious answers. Speculation or judgments not. | Broke up with gf, not sure what to expect as we try to retain our friendship. |
t3_2g1dmc | Dogtraining | Not sure this is the right place, but looking for toys or other ideas for keeping my pups busy throughout the day. | We have two pups (a cocker mix who is about 7 and a boston that is about 2) and live in an apartment. We have always lived in homes with a yard which made it much easier to play ball and let the dogs burn energy outside, but about a year an a half ago we moved into an apartment and don't feel our dogs minds are being stimulated enough.
My wife and I both work 9-5's (well she's 9-5, I'm 10-7) so they get out in the morning and the evening on a regular schedule and we walk them 3 times a day. I give them a 30 minute walk in the morning, my wife takes them out when she gets home and I take them out again when I get home from work. I play ball and tug of war with them inside so they are getting lots of play time, but I feel they need some stimulation while we are out during the day.
The cocker has some separation anxiety from being pampered as a pup and also gets very vocal when he sees other pooches on the street. Our boston terrier is very active, she is smart but she also seems to have some energy we can never seem to burn (this could of course be attributed to the breed). I feel this behavior could be somewhat curbed if they were not just "sitting around" through out the day.
Do you have any recommendations for toys or different things we can do to help with this? | My dogs are left alone during the day while my wife and I go to work. Are there any toys or products on the market that would keep them busy throughout the day? |
t3_3143i6 | relationships | Ex[21F] broke up with me[21M] 6 months into relationship, i don't know what to do with myself | She left me because i got jealous over instagram, then a few weeks later i was stressed out because of job/ school related issues.
We had never fought, and i asked her for her input on the instagram issue and if she thought i was in the wrong (she did) and lied to me about how she was feeling.
She called me randomly one morning and told me she knew where this was going because she had been through it before and didn't want to be together anymore. (She also fed me the classic "you deserve better/ i have to work on me" bullshit)
A day later we talk again and she flat out tells me "I don't see a future with you" and refuses to come get any of her things.
After that i hung up and text her thanking her for the closure, in which she thanked me because she said she didn't know how much she needed it (ffs).
It needs to be said that I've never been in a relationship like this before. I loved this girl more than anything(i still do) and our relationship was amazing besides the TWO discussions we had about her on instagram. I've known her most of my life. She talked about having children with me and moving out with me and then all of the sudden one day decides it meant nothing and leaves me.
The reason i decided to post here is because I'm not doing well at all.
It's been a few weeks, i was devastated at first. After the first week i thought i was getting better. I got a gym membership, started focusing on myself, doing all the cliche things and following all the normal advice everyone's given me, but now i seem to be getting worse.
I can't stop thinking about it no matter how hard i try, and have randomly started crying a couple times out of nowhere. Nothing is helping me, and i can't help but miss her. | ex girlfriend left me for seemingly pointless/fixable reason(or found someone else, possbile/not sure). I'm depressed and need someone to smack some sense into me. |
t3_q4p0h | AskReddit | How do I go about telling my boyfriend of 3 years I know he cheated and the person he did it with is living with me... | A few days ago, I found out my boyfriend of three years cheated on me with my "best" friend. Usually, this situation would be easy to handle and I would just dump him no problem. The issue is though is that he just left for basic training for the army a month ago and the only way to contact him is through letters. Call me a chicken, but I would rather not tell him while he's there and through a letter, I'd feel heartless, but at the same time I don't want anything to do with him anymore. Should I wait for him to come back or just stop replying?
Another issue is that my best friend moved in with me a couple months back and we were driving and she told me the truth. She didn't seem like it mattered that it happened though, and failed to tell me for months because she "forgot". I can't even look her in the eye anymore and try to avoid her at all costs even in my own house. Every time I try to confront her about it she becomes defensive and makes me feel like the bad guy and it has happened so often that I'm starting to feel like I am. | Boyfriend of three years cheated on me with best friend, but he left for basic training, and only way to contact is through letters. Best friend is living with me, but is indifferent to the whole situation. |
t3_1vprd6 | relationships | I'm [24M] the one who broke up with my girlfriend [23F] and devastated her a few days ago and now I'm feeling awful and miss her to the point that it hurts. | I broke up with my girlfriend of two years because I was feeling like I wasn't doing things because of the relationship and there were things about it that I wasn't crazy about.
It's been a few days and we've spoken briefly and she's pretty devastated. To her, our relationship was fantastic and saw us settling down together eventually. I want to travel this year and intend to move soon for work and I felt like she was restricting me a bit, probably unconsciously but still preventing me doing things I want to do at this age. I'm still really young and the thought of being in the same relationship for the rest of my life didn't sit well with me.
I was fine for the first day but last night I couldn't sleep or eat and now I feel like crying. I feel like if I say her name I will burst into tears. I've always felt pretty resilient mentally but this has hit me hard. I'm realising now that although I was only content with the relationship, it was safe and normal for two years. She was a great girl and now I don't have her I realise how much I appreciated being able to chat and see her whenever I wanted. I think that now I'm on the other side I'm only remembering the good things, not the bad aspects that made me want to end it.
Another complication, her mother emailed me yesterday saying how selfish I was, and that she wasn't sorry to see me go. One of the issues I had was that she was too dependant on her mother and that relationship had constrained her. I wasn't a fan of her family and didn't enjoy spending time with them.
I want to get over this and feel good again but I miss her terribly. | Broke up with gf of 2 years for what I knew before to be legitimate reasons and now feel awful and miss her. |
t3_3qmgrk | travel | 5 College Grads Planning a 1 Week Trip out of USA w/ Budget of $1500/person - Any Advice Reddit? | Hi All,
As mentioned in the title, a few friends and I graduated this past May and are looking to have a reunion of sorts sometime next Spring / Summer 2016 by traveling for a 7-10 day trip together. Because of work and student loans (fun!), we thought a budget of $1500-2000/person could be reasonable. Beyond that, our only other "requirement" is that we want to go somewhere not in North America (aka no Canada, USA, Mexico).
We've been looking into flights and Airbnbs for random places in South America/Europe/Asia and figured we could keep those costs in the range of 750-900 per person, depending on where we go. We've been on trips across America and in Mexico together and have been able to do so on minimalistic budgets, so we're not too woried about trying to live minimalistic/cheap when traveling abroad (even more important in countries with non-favorable fx rates). Aka we're fine eating cheap home cooked meals and enjoy walking around sight seeing; we don't need to spend a bunch of money on fancy tours or excessive expensive cuisine. For example -we get that the point of traveling is to experience new cultures so eating out will be a portion of the costs obviously, but we're fine having 1 meal out a day instead of all 3 meals.
Based off that info, does anyone have any suggestions on where to go on a cheap budget? Has anyone here done a cheap trip like this in the same timeframe? Alternatively, if you don't think it could be done on this budget, what kind of budget do you think is reasonable? We're trying to plan ahead so we can set up a savings schedule. Sorry for the long post, thanks in advanced! | For $1500 per person, where would you recommend a group of 5 new grads to travel that is not in North America? |
t3_1fp5y0 | self | I feel poor but everyone keeps telling me that people have it worse than me so I'm not poor... why does this happen? | I have enough money to meed day to day needs but not enough to save for anything like an apartment, a car or even things I want like a better computer or something. I can afford food and to sometimes do things with friends but I'm way below the poverty line and can't even afford to live out of my mother's house that is being payed for by my grandmother. I feel so hopeless like I can't climb out of this hole. I have a job but it's minimum wage and I don't really have the experience or education (or time to get education) to get a better job. My friends keep telling me that people have it so much worse, I'm not RICH but I'm definitely not poor. I think not being able to afford a place to live is poor, I would be homeless if it weren't for my grandmother paying all the bills. She's going to stop doing so in the next few months, though so I'm stressed about that too... Sorry for the rant, I just wanted to get this out. I don't feel like I'm bottom of the barrel but I sure feel down and unable to move up. | I feel too poor to move out of the situation I'm in and would be homeless if it weren't for my grandmother. My friends are telling me that I'm really not poor, I'm just not RICH but I feel unable to move out of where I'm at and it's really discouraging to feel poor but feel like I'm overreacting and not really poor but STILL not be able to go anywhere in my life. |
t3_13qpvp | relationships | 25[m] fucked up a great relationship with 26[f], wondering how to regain trust | Been dating for 4 years. I got blackout drunk last night and ended up making out with a mutual acquaintance at a bar. I don't remember any of it, but my gf found out from the girl (who also informed me of what happened) and is really upset. So far she hasn't broken up with me, but she is really angry and upset so it might be coming. I've never felt so awful in my life. I love her and have no idea why I thought it would ever be a good idea to do this. What can I do for her? What could I say or do that would help her feel less sad? | made out with someone else, extremely remorseful. how to proceed? |
t3_1dkktk | AskReddit | Any advice for a young adult going through Cancer treatment? | My boyfriend had a really bad cough for 6 months going on, unemployed and with no insurance he was reluctant to be checked out. We finally went in and after a series of doctor visits it turns out he has Hodgkin's Lymphoma. The largest mass is growing in his chest in between his heart and lungs, and has started spreading inside the lung as well (thus the cough) and another enlarged lymph node on his neck. He is starting chemotherapy tomorrow and we are both really scared.
Out of all cancer types there are, everyone is reassuring us that Hodgkin's is considered curable at about 70% and that he should have no worries being healthy and young otherwise.
Right now our biggest fears are weight loss, and finances. He is usually around 150-160lbs and 6'1. Currently he has already dropped to 134lbs. I am constantly reminding him to eat, but it is so difficult when he has lost his appetite and can't eat big like he used to. Again we start chemo tomorrow, and I am highly concerned because he cannot afford to lose any more weight.
Of course since we are not married I am not financially responsible for him, nor can I get him added to my insurance. The most I am trying to do right now is make sure he has an abundance of food available at all times. I worry too about the bills, but the hospital told us not to worry that they wouldn't turn him away from treatment even though he can't pay. Worst case scenario he can claim medical bankruptcy. I am trying to see what else he can apply for any grants or funds for people in situations like him but I am having trouble. I was thinking of doing a fundraiser as well, but no clue where to even begin, my head has been spinning for the past few months. | Boyfriend is 25, unemployed, uninsured, underweight, and has been diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma. Scared. Please share stories and experiences, we would love to learn from others! |
t3_3nqa1b | relationships | My [20 M] girlfriend [20 F] came out to me last night. Need advice | Update from a previous post of mine. My idea of what was going on was right.
Background:A few months ago my girlfriend of three years told me she was bisexual. She told me all of her life she has felt different and shes known she was different from everybody else. She was scared this would push me away but I understand that being bisexual doesn't mean you're not monogamous it means you have a larger pool of people you could be with.
What Happened: A few days ago she tells me she had a lot on her mind, she kept saying she is confused and she doesn't know how to say it or how to feel. I assured her to take her time and talk to me when she was absolutely ready. Last night we were texting as we are LDR at the moment. She tells me shes always been confused about herself and shes always just wanted to fit in. That is when she told me shes gay.
I assured her that everyone who she is worried will care, loves her and will not think any different of her. She told me she still loves me but she wants the best for me. she wants me to be with an amazing girl and have a great relationship she said she wants the same for herself. I can't imagine the pressure shes been feeling all of her life.
The advice i'm asking for is how can i support her? what can i do to make her not feel so worried about her family or anyone else? I really do love her and care for her. I'm not angry or upset with her. I'm happy that i could the person she could turn to. I'm just not sure how i can be the person who helps her out while not letting the idea that we're never going have the completely same relationship get to me. Thank You | Girlfriend of 3 years came out to me last night. How can i support her without being too bothered by the idea of us breaking up |
t3_2vow6c | relationships | Me [18 M] with [19 F] I've been getting close to for the past couple weeks, found out she has a fuck buddy | So basically there's this girl been attracted to for a while but in the past couple of weeks we've become really close, walking alone together talking and laughing together and when I was out the other day with a friend she was out at the same place with her group and when she saw me she left her group with her friend to hang out with us.
I thought we were becoming closer as sometimes I hold her hand and put my arm around her and she doesn't stop me and so I thought next time I would hold her hand for real like we were dating.
Before I could do this however I found out she had a fuck buddy who she would be spending valentines day with and that guy turned out to be there when we were all out together but she wasn't talking to him she was talking to me most of the time. This damaged me a bit and. I wonder if there could still be something there or if there wasn't anything there in the first place and I was just being delusional/hopeful
Before anyone starts calling friend zone I don't feel like I am in the friend zone as she never does or says stuff like. I would be in the friend zone, when she introduced me to her friends she didn't introduce me as her friend | There's this girl who I have gotten close to, made physical contact (non sexual) on more than one occasion and now I find out she has a fuck buddy who she is seeing on valentines day, what should I do? |
t3_mbpzq | AskReddit | What's something you did because you're a good person, only to regret it immediately and wish you were an asshole? | I'm going to try and keep mine short because it still makes me want to cry, and I don't even feel a tiny bit good about being a nice person yet.
Essentially, I gave up a perfect (as perfect as I could get right now) job to a friend "A" because I thought she deserved it more than me. The job was offered by a mutual friend "M" with his business, in conversation with me, where M brought it up in reference to our friend A's and, indirectly, my job searching efforts. M offered it to me at the same time after our friend wasn't immediately contactable, even going so far as to sell me all the perks and get excited about it all. A has been comfortably unemployed (not to downplay it), living with parents etc., for a couple of months and searching for a good job part-time, and since she and I recently spoke and technically the job was brought up with her in mind first, I decided in the heat of the moment that it was the right thing to do to make sure that A heard the job offer first, even though I knew that she would take it. She got in touch with mutual friend M as soon as I warned her and my heart immediately sank after I realized what I'd done. While A had been living with her parents and job searching for a couple months, I have been working a dead-end, minimum-wage job for the past 2 years with no real friends or prospects. This job would have been exactly what I need, and yet here I am, life as sucky as ever. I now understand that sometimes you need to be "selfish" and grab opportunities to get anywhere in life. Would it have been a dick move? I don't know, but it feels awful right now, and as much as I still love A, I wish I would have just been a dick. Sorry that wasn't quite as concise as I'd hoped. | Let a friend at a great job offer first on a technicality and because I'm a "good" person. Immediately realized that I needed it more and wished I would have just taken it. |
t3_ed5ej | self | Trade your RED Bank of America Card for a style of your choice | So Bank of America *REALLY* pissed me off. So much, I want to write them.
Here is the story. I've been with them for a LONG time, and all of a sudden
they cut off my debit card... ON BLACK FRIDAY. I went to a steak-house
with my GF and it's declined. I'm like WTF? I have plenty of funds...
Turns out, after a visit to the bank, that they sent a "new" debit card
(and keychain card) in the mail, which looked like postal spam...
So, they cut off my debit card, ASSUMING I recieved AND
activated the new card, which I didn't... (old card had 2013 expiration date)
and expected me to use this new one.
Here's the thing. The new debit card is a RED card (hear me out). I've
gotten siliver and gold debit cards from them in the past. Now, I get a
RED one? WTF does that say? Think of a soccer game, they give red cards
to bad people. They throw a red flag out on a challenge in american football.
That's a red flag in my point of view! I don't want this card!
I'm going to have to change all my online crap because of this, and it's
going to be a pain, possibly losing sub's to games and stuff, but that's
ok. I'll deal with it. I just don't like how they went about it. (no notice).
Nice thing is, when I went into the bank and explained everything, they
let me choose a new card to be sent, for free. I will be getting a
Hello Kitty card instead of the stupid red Bank of America card, and I
suggest people go in and do this. They said it's going to happen to all
of their customers - they are changing the system, and that I was randomly
picked (even though I had an expiration date of 2013). | If you got a red credit/debit card from Bank of America, GO THERE - |
t3_1762ll | pettyrevenge | Roommate makes me do her nasty dishes, I subtly undermine her New Years resolution. | Some background, my roommate is a bit of a slob, but what bothers me most is how she won't do dishes for days at a time, and has on occasion, left chunks of food in the sink to sit and putrefy, either stuck to the plates or caught in the drain trap (we have no garbage disposal). The worst though is when she left for winter holiday and left a dozen dishes in varying stages of decomposition in the kitchen.
Anyways, I had a friend over today who brought pizza and a tuxedo mousse cake (inb4 the cake is a lie, you bastards) for a horror movie marathon and to make up a past wrong. My roommate wanted to join us, grabbed some cake, but infuriatingly talks through most of the first movie (The Bay) before getting grossed out and decides to leave.
Roommate then proceeds to volunteer to "get the dishes" and goes and stacks her dish, with only half the cake eaten, under the other dishes. She then washes the top dish, claiming she did her share, and leaves, letting the half-eaten cake get watery and disgusting under the other dishes.
I go to clean the dishes and find the cake stuck under the dishes 4 hours later and decide it's finally time for some petty revenge. As good as that cake is, I'm not touching the remaining 3/4 of it; instead I left a post-it note on it saying "Help yourself :)"
Best part is, I know she has a horrible weakness for sweets and last week, she decided she was going to get on a diet and start eating healthier. | Roommate left delicious cake to rot in the sink for the hundredth time, I sabotage her diet by tempting her weak mental fortitude with the rest of the cake. |
t3_4or2pb | relationships | I (20F) want to watch Dirty Dancing with my boyfriend (20M) of 3 years but I'm embarrassed. | This is a short, stupid question. I've heard good things about the movie Dirty Dancing (yeah, the 80s movie with Patrick Swayze) and I want to watch it with my boyfriend. The thing is, it's much raunchier than most movies we watch (usually Disney/Pixar). Should I warn him about this beforehand? He'd probably say yes but I don't want the raunchier scenes to make him uncomfortable. I'd be lying if I said that watching raunchy scenes on TV next to him isn't at all exciting, but I'm not going to tell him that.
Should I ask him about the movie? Is this a bad idea? | Want to watch slightly raunchy movie with my G rated boyfriend. |
t3_3ef6u8 | Advice | Can't decide on which College to attend.. | So starting in September I have the opportunity to go back to school for video game design, which is great, but I'm stricken with a difficult decision. Essentially I have narrowed my choices down to two separate schools.
Pro's:
-Cheaper tuition
-Placement opportunities
-good reviews
Con's:
-Living is expensive (Toronto)
-The programming I have done in the past wasn't something I was overly interested in
-Longer course
Pro's:
-Private college with smaller class sizes
-compressed course (74 weeks straight)
-interesting content
-I am already in the city that offers this program
-living is cheaper
Con's:
-It's a private college (Tuition is through the roof)
-I am not an artist (they say you don't need to be)
-it will double my student debt (bringing it 50k+)
Other notes:
-A big factor that is weighing my decision is that I am also in a long term relationship that very well may turn into a long distance one if I decide to go to Humber. Currently i Have been living with her for the past 2 year, and if I move to Toronto, I would be doing it alone; whereas if is go to Trillium, I would continue living with her (sharing expenses)
-Something else worth noting is the private college gives you all the tools you need to do the program (tablet, programs, books). This is all included with your tuition.
-on a final note, due to financial issues, transitioning to Toronto would be a difficult one. On top of moving fees as well as starting rent, I owe $1050 to Humber before I could get in. The same can be said for Trillium, but I would only owe $545, and it would be cheaper to move. | Can't decide on what school to attend. Public college is cheaper and has a well credit program, but cost of living is more. Private college is expensive, but cost of living is cheaper and more convenient to attend. |
t3_3t0qv2 | relationships | Me [23 F] with my boyfriend[29M] 2yrs, feel like it is over but do not know how to end it, alone and abroad. | Hello! I have been with my boyfriend/fiancee for a little over 2 years now. Our relationship has been mostly okay but we have had our problems.
When we started dating there was an issue with him lying to me (I do not want to go into specifics here but it was a big deal to me) and I stayed with him. Shortly after that there was another lie. I remember I confronted him and he basically just made it seem like I was paranoid from the last lie and therefore crazy. I accepted this. In my heart I suspected it...but I guess I had rose tinted glasses on. I found out a week ago that he did lie o me...
I feel like I am broken on the inside. It was two years ago but he did not tell me himself, I had to ask.. I feel we have no trust. I felt a bit unhappy in the relationship before but now I feel a bit dead inside.
Now to the main issue, I live with him in his country and I have no job or savings at the moment (I know this is stupid). I do not know how to go about leaving, or telling him. I tried to start the conversation several times but I feel he manages to convince me (I am a bit of a push over, yes). And I think well..maybe it will be okay again, but I know it is not. He is all I have, I do not know anyone here, and my only family is back home. I would have to live with him until I could leave.
I feel horribly alone, I have no friends to talk about this. I feel like I really do still love him and I have doubts. | Found about lies my boyfriend told me, do not know what to do or how to leave. |
t3_4sj2yo | tifu | TIFU by ripping my nails | This actually happened 2 days ago but it's still a problem today.
I have a very bad habit of ripping my nails daily, I don't bite and I don't cut them. 2 days ago I had my casual ripping session while being at my computer. I got over to my thumb and started to rip and at middle of the nail I realized this was going all the way down to the cuticle, been there before many times. Stupid as I am I kept ripping until it was off, and it was way down. It starts to bleed as usual but it hurt more than it done before. I cooled it off in the sink, dried it and went to bed.
Next morning it was all swollen and hurts like a... Yeah. I didn't think much of it so i just kept cleaning it durring the day and went to bed as usual.
Today I got a call from work and they needed some help, I'm a summerworker at a 12 shift factory, and I was tired as f***. On my way to work I realized all the way from the top of my thumb down to the wrist and down to my elbow on the inside of my arm (over the vains) there was a red line about 2cm wide and it was super sensitive. I was to tired to worry to much about it and treated it with some lotion durring my day at work.
Not until nightfall (now) I asked my dad about it and he was pretty certain it is blood infection...
Now I'm at the hospital waiting for a doctor. | ripped my nail and probably got a blood infection from my thumb down to my elbow in a period of 36 hours. |
t3_fzo2x | AskReddit | What should I know about buying a car? new vs used? | I am 28 years old, I have only bought 2 cars in my life. One when I was 16 and it cost me $200 and another when I was 22 and I paid in full for about $8,000. Due to a crash this winter (my car decided to keep going on ice and went into a ditch, not sure what happened my dad was driving it and the insurance company totalled it.) I have to get a new one. I was in a hurry when I bought the second car and basicly went to every lot around town and got the first thing I found with low miles and for the Cash I had.
This time around I have more money and may or may not be looking at financing a new car but Im told getting a used car is still better then buying a new one. Any advice would be helpful. | Looking to buy new car, looking for tips on used vs new and how not to get shafted. |
t3_36736r | relationships | Whenever my boyfriend [26 m] and I [26 f] spend more than a few days together he starts to resent me. | I love my boyfriend therefore I love spending time with him. I understand that in order to have a healthy relationship you need time apart too, I have no problem with that. The issue is that throughout our two year relationship, whenever we spend more than three or so nights together he becomes annoyed and distant. What really bothers me is he won't just say, "ok so I'm going to do ___ by myself tomorrow, or I need a little alone time tomorrow" instead he'll just assume I know this. Then act like why are you still here? Or if I continue on with other plans with him he'll act like I'm keeping him captive or something. Which let me tell you, is great for the ego. He also will withhold affection. Then we'll spend a night or two apart and he's back to normal.
I'm not really sure how to address this problem. Maybe it's just a lifestyle difference, but we've talked about marriage and I'm not sure how it would work out. If he's resentful after a few days together what would happen if we also have two kids and a dog? Would he just be grumpy 24/7? | boyfriend becomes irritable when we spend a significant amount of time together, then communicates poorly |
t3_gl0fj | AskReddit | My mom went to the hospital complaining of gut pain, we find out she has inoperable colon cancer. What can I expect in the few weeks she has left to live? | My mom has been sick before. About 20 years ago she had chemo to help with CNS vasculitis. About 10 years ago she got bladder cancer and beat it, then a few years back had to have collapsed arteries in her legs fixed.
She's fought back every illness so this came as quite a surprise. She went to the minor emergency center for gut pain and they freaked out after getting her tests. Once at a proper hospital they discovered a mass in her gut and precursors of leukemia. The plan: remove the mass, chemo for the rest.
Monday night was the operation; the doctor said that he couldn't do anything for her. It was too large, too integrated in to everything. Nothing we can do now but wait. She's begging to go home, says she doesn't want extreme measures, and demands nobody visit her at the hospital.
What can I expect in these last days/weeks? | Mom's dying. |
t3_3bpism | relationships | My [19F] boss [23M] is anorexic, but refuses help. | I've been working for this guy for around 6 months, and I'd noticed straight away that he was really really tiny. He's at a weight of around 95-100lbs at 5'11, which I finally got him to confess to me during a break yesterday. None of my other coworkers, some which have worked for him for a couple years, have ever dared to ask him about it because they're all scared of him. He can be a pretty mean guy if you rub him the wrong way, and they piss him off a lot as it is.
He denies that he has anorexia because he doesn't have issues with what his body looks like, but he said that he maybe eats a bowl of rice krispies every other day and that's usually it. It's the only thing that doesn't completely disgust him. He rarely eats because food grosses him out, and he always feels sick when he sees any.
I suggested that he get help, but he shot that down really fast and got mad at me. I've already pissed him off by badgering him about his weight before and I don't want to step out of line, but it's freaking me out; I'm worried for his health. We're all constantly walking on eggshells around him because he has a hair-trigger temper. But I don't want to just watch him drop to an even lower weight and eventually die. He lives alone and all of his family is in Australia (We're in Canada), so I'm not sure if he has anyone. He doesn't seem to like people very much, and unless it's strictly work related, it's rare for him to ever spare us any conversation. I asked some of my co-workers if they could do anything for him but like I said, they're all too scared of the guy. In the past they've tried to include him in after work plans, but he's extremely introverted and antisocial. He's almost always mad about something.
What can I do? I'm at a loss here. | Boss is extremely underweight and rarely eats. He doesn't want help, got mad when I suggested it. |
t3_4wzwvt | relationships | I [22/F] have social anxiety and find it extremely difficult to be around my [23/M] boyfriends parents | I have severe social anxiety. When I met my boyfriend 3 years ago, I was happy to find someone who loved me for who I am. We moved in together a year ago. I haven't spent much time with his family, which I am ok with to an extent. While I want to get to know them, I get really nervous around them. We live in different cities and they rarely come to visit. I visited them at their house last year and had an anxiety attack over it the night before, but it was fine once I got there.
His mom invited us to a festival at the end of August. It is only about 10 minutes from where we live and since I'm currently unemployed, I feel like I pretty much have to go since I don't have an excuse not to. I am dreading going and I get anxiety every time I think about it. His mom is usually pretty friendly with me, but I find it hard to make conversation and just ending up feeling awkward. Then, afterwards I overthink what I said/didn't say to her. We are also going out for dinner.
I really want to tell my boyfriend I dont want to go. However, I haven't seen his parents in almost a year so I don't want to insult him, and I dont think he would understand how anxious it actually makes me feel. He also has a tendency to skip out on me and spend a ridiculous amount of time in the bathroom when hanging out with his parents. I don't know what I should do in a situation like this. Should I just suck it up and go anyway and hope that it ends up going well? | Boyfriends mom invited us to a festival event and dinner at a restaurant and due to my severe social anxiety, I don't want to go. I haven't told my BF yet. |
t3_1lyogg | relationships | How would you define "a date"? | My girlfriend of six years [21F] and I [22M] just got in a discussion about what qualifies as a date.
She says a date only can happen when I initiate the outing by asking her out specifically on a date ("Hey let's go on a date tomorrow.) or if I specifically label the outing a date ("Hungry? Let's eat and make it a date.").
While I say that anytime I pay for the whole meal or outing, makes it a date, whether or not I--or anyone for that matter--qualifies it as a date. Two people going somewhere together, who love each other romantically and then one person pays for everything, automatically makes it a date, with or without the label.
Eventually, we asked her roommate and roommate's SO and they ended up agreeing with her, but I'm still feeling a bit shafted unfairly so mostly, I'm posting because I want to get other views of what defines "a date."
For some background, the reason this came up was because I felt frustrated at the fact that I would pay for meals on all occasions when we would go out yet she would still be wanting "a date" by her definition, so I felt unappreciated and confused as to what all these other times were. Apparently, they just didn't count as dates... | SO says dates are specifically labeled - I say dates are when I pay for everything; what do You say qualifies or defines a date? |
t3_4pj5ob | relationships | I (24m) have been depressed and feeling just wrong since I moved in with my girlfriend (24f). | In living with her, I've realized thatI don't want to marry her and start a family. It sucks that it took moving in to realize that, but now I wake up every morning feeling depressed and my days feel awfully empty. We get along and have fun with eachother (Though there are some things that moving in have shown in both of us that neither realized about the other. Nothing relationship breaking though.)
I just feel like she's ms. right now and not mrs. right. This is something all my friends have actually been telling me from the start. None of them though I would last this long with her (2 years). I'm just a serial monogamist. I am absolutely terrible at breaking up and realizing when I should move on. Now, at least I realize I should move on. The problem is I have moved in with her.
What do I do? | moved in with girlfriend and realized she's not "the one". How do I end things? |
t3_3ycu3a | tifu | TIFU while serving a child. | As per usual, this fuck up didn't happen today, it happened on Monday at work.
I work as a cashier at a major grocery store in a pretty big city. Since it was a few days before Christmas, it was super busy, and I was on auto-pilot, trying to get as many customers served as possible.
It's a common occurrence for parents to give the change from their grocery orders to their kids to buy some candy from the storefront. After I serve a lady and her husband, she gives the change to her child, who looked to be around 8 years old. They wore a grey sweater and jeans and had really nice, long hair. She chose 2 packs of gum from the shelf and I ranf them in.
The total of the transaction was $3.80, but the kid only had $3.25. When I ask for more change, the mom comes up and asks, "What's wrong?"
I tell her, "She doesn't have enough money for the gum."
...
"He."
I felt my whole body get hot as I realized that her child was a boy, not a girl. Being on auto-pilot and not entirely paying attention, I saw the long hair and I assumed the lady's child was a girl.
I'm pretty sure I said something along the lines of "Are you shitting me?" because another cashier turned around and laughed.
I apologized profusely while hiding my face in shame. I served all of the customers in my line and closed my till off as soon as I was customer free. I went up to the other cashier to tell her what happened and she informed me that my face was still burning red. It took a few minutes for the initial shock of the interaction to go away before I could go back to work.
Long story short, I hate gender norms and I hate working retail. | Served a small child with long hair at my work. They didn't have enough money, so I told the mom her daughter was a little short on change. Turns out the child was a boy. |
t3_34fa88 | relationships | I'm [20F] thinking of asking my job counselor [50F] to be transferred to someone else | I have been seeing a job counselor/developer for several months now. English is not her first language and often I find her making spelling mistakes during our meetings which I later fix. She is also not very technically inclined.
Although she was helpful at first, she has not helped me get ANY interviews. The ones I have gotten were strictly through my own connections. Her department received funding to offer employers over a month ago, but she has not received any responses regarding me even though I think I have some good qualifications. I also have reason to believe she has not contacted that many employers since receiving this funding.
I recently confronted her very politely about our success so far and she mumbled and said not to lose hope. I questioned her about the funding and she said she 'just' received it and that others are in the same boat I am.
I am really questioning her expertise and how she is representing me to employers. This is a government agency and I am wondering how I should ask to be transferred to another job counselor. I am not sure if the others are any good however or what each of their success rates are. How should I bring this up or go about it? I'm not even sure if I am able to switch. | Questioning job counselor's expertise after months of unsuccessful applications/lack of responses. How should I ask for a new counselor? |
t3_1f6orn | AskReddit | How to tell my mom I don't want to travel to visit my relatives? | My mom is currently planning on going on a month long trip to Europe to visit our relatives(her parents and brothers/sisters). My dad and sister can't go because of their work and I'm still in school so I have the summer off. My mother doesn't speak English fluently and at times relies on myself and my sister to translate what other people are saying so she can understand, but she can speak English Ok just struggles with understanding other people. She can't go on her own because my entire family would worry for her every night and it would cause so much unneeded stress. I don't want to go because where my relatives live there is no Internet, it's all very farmland-ish and I would be spending a month in a situation I don't desire. I wasn't born in that country so in don't really even know my relatives all too well. Sorry for the long post, been thinking about this for a while now and can't come up with any reasonable ideas that don't break my mom's heart. She hasn't seen her family in 5 years. | mom needs me to go with her on trip, I have no desire/will to want to go. How to tell her without breaking her heart? |
t3_13g6v2 | AskReddit | My Dad singlehandedly broke up a fight where 5 people where smashing another guys face in. What is something you have seen a parent do that made you think they were totally badass? | My Dad was driving me to his office when I was about 10. There was a group of 5 people outside of the library kicking the shit out of this guys face. My Dad just calmly parked the car, got out, and started pulling these dudes off this other guy like it wasn't even a thing. Someone called the police while my Dad held them all off. When i asked him why he did it be said "I was having a shitty day, and I could tell that guy was too." He's a lawyer in a relatively small town, and it turns out the guy he helped had actually got sent to jail because of him 3 years previously. He was still insanely thankful and sends us a Christmas card every year. | Thought my Dad was some type of superhero after breaking up a badass fight by himself. |
t3_48bz7g | relationship_advice | [25f] Moving in with new boyfriend [27m] soon, but feel guilty about disposing of late boyfriend's robe. | A little bit of background, my first long term boyfriend passed away very unexpectedly a couple of years ago. After this happened, I ended up moving across the country to be with my family. His mother ended up keeping most of his belongings, however I brought with me his robe as it was something he wore almost every day. It was comforting to have something of his with me during the grieving process.
Two years later, I'm now in a serious relationship again and we are moving in together shortly. While packing, I realized I still have my late boyfriend's robe in my closet and am worried that my current boyfriend, though understanding, might be concerned that I am still holding on to it. Even though my late boyfriend will always be special to me, I feel like it is time for me to let go of his robe. However, it almost feels cruel to give something that was so special to him away to Goodwill, as silly as that might sound. I feel obligated to ask his mother if she wants his robe back, seeing that she wanted to keep everything he owned, but I'm not sure if that would be rude or awkward to ask her that. Should I feel so guilty? Please help. | Years ago a boyfriend passed away and I kept his robe with me. Now that I am in a new relationship, I feel that I need to get rid of it but feel guilty about doing so. |
t3_fx10l | relationships | I want to cheer up about this relationship!! | I (18/f) have been seeing a guy (20/m) for 2.5 months and I think he's lost interest. This isn't me whining about that in particular... or even trying to whine at all. I just feel sorta sad about it. I wasn't in love with him and I wasn't particularly 'physically' attached, it just felt like it could go somewhere nice.
Things were going really well but we hardly saw each other so it was hard to 'keep up'. I think it might be done. On the other hand, he could call tomorrow and want to say hi again. I don't know, that's how it has been for a while. Basically I'm in a weird limbo and I'm not sure if it would be better just to discontinue things with him even though I like him a lot. I feel a little clingy/chasing-him at this point too.
I'm not sure at this point if I keep calling/waiting for him to call. He seemed genuinely sad that we couldn't hang out but who knows through texts/phone.
Who knows guys. Anyway, regardless of what I do next, which you can feel free to give me advice on, HOW DO I CHEER UP ABOUT ALL OF THIS?
I am not as near-sighted as all this b.s. makes me seem; I understand that in the near future I will probably not care that much about all of this but damn it hurts right now.
How do YOU ease your mind about someone? I don't necessarily want to refocus. This is the first crush I've had in a looong time and not for lack of trying.
So I came to reddit because I love you guys.
Throwaway account obviously because it's on this subreddit but I am a frequent user so treat me well please! | Like a boy, not sure if I should keep going for it, but honestly **just want to know what you do to keep everything in perspective!** |
t3_2e5b52 | relationship_advice | [23/male], been in love, and never had a GF | Hello folks, first time on this sub, and I have to say it's very comforting to read everyone advice and stories. I'm a 23yr old man Just graduated from school working a job in the city making good money, and I've never had a gf. All throughout HS i was fairly goofy and geeky. I wasnt socially awkward, I just found it more interesting to get into ANime, art, and videogames. I liked a couple girls, and asked a few out, but alway got the "aw you're so sweet, but I'm not into you" Skip to college, get first kiss and loose my virginity freshman year, but I'm new to this whole college thing and want to stay single. Skip to 4th year, been with about girls by now, only 1 of which was relationship worthy, but she fucked that up. I start dating this girl I've been working with who just got out of a relationship. Things are going great until valentines day, and she realizes that shes "not into me like that". Now enter the next year of heartbreak. Revised that I loved the girl, and unfortunately I work with her, so we have to see each other every day. It was a painful year. BUT i did a few heartbreaking myself, that year with another girl, and that really put things into perspective (I'm typing this fast and void of details, but i do want to note that I wasn't proud of the way I treated the rebound girl). Now I'm a grown ass man surrounded by all these women who are either A. looking for older more established men, B. Young and looking for the wrong things, or C. already set and primed to get married at 23-24. So, it really hit me, **WHY HELL HAVE I NEVER HAD A GF?** Any outside advice based on my story thus far? (also, i'm still getting over the heartbreak a bit, I think about her at least once a day, even if just for a second, but I dont think thats ever going away). Oh last note, I'm a mixed guy, graphic designer, lives in the south, and has only ever dated/been with white women. If that helps at all. | 23 Male, slept with many women, slightly still heartbroken from love unrequited, has job, has future, but has not ever had a GF. Why??? |
t3_3i0t4p | tifu | TIFU by drinking water. | Today I was at work and I forgot my water bottle. I looked in the fridge and saw a water bottle. Now, most people put one in and forget for weeks. So I thought I'd take it. Now, enter pregnant woman named Katy. Katy opened the fridge and started crying. Now sobbing but full on out of control crying. She sat on the floor and actually called the police screaming her property was taken. They called my office and asked what the deal was. They never came but due to company policy there is a full investigation on who took it. I just keeping my mouth shut. Good thing today is my last day. | I made a pregnant woman cry her eyes out and am being invesigsted |
t3_4bzj6i | relationships | Me [22F] do not want to have my DAD [50s] move me into my first apt | I live on the east coast, and am graduating college soon and moving across the country to the west coast to start a job.
My dad and I don't have a great relationship. I have to be the adult in the relationship, which is still hard to grasp. He is a lot of emotional issues with his family, so he is constantly a wreck and trying to take it out on someone. I don't really need his help moving in, but my mother was going to come because she is a logistics master. My dad used to work for a company in the area and wants to relive his glory days. He also would mostly get in the way and not really help.
My dad currently assumes he will be helping and be joining as I move across the country, however, I'd rather neither of my parents come if it means my dad comes.
So how do I tell my dad that I don't want him to move me in without tearing him to shreds. | Moving across country and don't want my dad to help move me in. How do I tell him this without completely destroying our relationship. |
t3_10vnrl | AskReddit | I worked with my best friends at a church. They are gone now for misconduct and I think I am depressed. What do I do? | I worked at a church with my best friends in their Youth department. I was fulfilled, happy and loving my job because I was working with people I truly cared about. I can honestly say that I loved them. One day, after about a year of me working there, they go run some errands alone together. I find out 2 days later misconduct happened and they resigned. It was extremely abrupt and sudden. I am now put in the position of leading this youth department. I mean, I'm not going to NOT do it because they (the youth) just lost 2 people very close to them. Mind you, this is a big youth department. About 200 active JR/SR High schoolers with lots of events planned throughout the year. So, I lead it. Through all the trips, camps, events, drama, politics and headaches. After 3 months though, I find myself in a funk. I'm unmotivated to work, to eat healthy, to exercise or to clean my home. I dread going into work and I'm having thoughts of quitting. I don't know what to do. I'm in this "interum" period where I have all these new responsibilities but with no pay increase, but If I stick it out for a year, It will most likely increase the pay. So should I stay? Also the kids would be hurt if I left. But I think my "funk" has to do with the emotional, physical and spiritual burdens that came with the loss of my 2 dear friends. Should I stay or should I go? I am very lost right now. Any insight would be appreciated. Thanks Reddit. | Lost best friends at Job. Torn between staying or quitting. |
t3_nbfyi | books | Any recommendations for a good Western book similar to Sergio Leone Spaghetti Western movies? | I'm currently reading the Song of Ice and Fire series by George R.R. Martin(just finished book two) because I heard about the show and really like the fantasy/medieval genre and have read many books in that genre. I got to thinking recently that my most favorite movie genre is the Western genre, specifically spaghetti westerns of the 60's/70's, and I realized that I've never really read or heard about any great western novels. I read the Dark Tower series all the way through. I started that because I thought it was going to be a western haha. I ended up liking it all the same but I really want to read a true western book or series. Any recommendations? | Haven't read any Western genre novels. Any recommendations for a book or series for me to read? |
t3_1pomr2 | relationship_advice | I'm [25/m] wondering if it is reasonable that she [19/f] is so secretive? | So my girlfriend of about a month is pretty secretive with her phone. She's given it to me before to show me something quick and stuff pops up at the top, etc. The last thing was that I accidentally saw her put in the password because she was right next to me and she was like "noo! I have to change it" and immediately changed it. I don't know why she is so secretive. I have no interest in looking through her phone and I trust her but the fact that she is so paranoid/secretive about her phone is vaguely concerning. I've mentioned it and she said "don't worry, you're the only guy in my life, you have to trust me." Is this concern justified or should I just drop it and not worry about it? Should I talk to her about it? If so, how? | Should I be concerned about girlfriend's secretiveness with phone? |
t3_3iyzon | tifu | TIFU by laughing at my daughters mischief | This happened a few days ago but bodily discharge has to wait until the weekends so...
My potty training 2 year old daughter has this new thing she likes to do when she has pee in her diaper. She likes to rip off the diaper and throw it up in the air. We laugh at this because no harm no foul, right? Nope.
Well fast forward to Wednesday night. I am in the hall downstairs peeling wallpaper off so that I can paint. My wife and daughter took a shower and are now getting ready for bed upstairs. I am enjoying a beer while working on the wallpaper when all of a sudden I hear shrieks of "/u/cichlidsaremyjam, come QUICK, hurry hurry hurry!!" I am thinking there is a spider in the room which my wife likes to make a much bigger deal than it ever is. Well I get upstairs and my daughter is standing in the middle of room smiling. I love over to my wife (6 months pregnant by the way) on the bed and she has her hands up frozen in fear. I look around the bed and there are little brown spots here and there. Then I notice the open diaper at my feet. That is when I put two and two together. Not only was that my daughter's most recent diaper that she flung up in the air. It also at one point contained a poop. Now there is poop on my wife, the bed, my pillow and a big piece on the edge of the bed resting against the wall.
You think this would be the end of the story. Oh no we are just getting started. My wife is now surround without much option to get herself out of this situation. So she starts to laugh, cry and turn red all at the same time. She works herself up to the point where she starts to gag. I am thinking, don't you dare throw up... and then it happened. Right in the middle of our bed. Holding nothing back. At the sight of this my daughter burst into tears. I am left just standing there wondering "what in the hell just happened and how do I even start to clean this?" | Daughter thought she was witty, decided to throw a diaper that was shitty which made my wife take my bed to puke city. |
t3_3cgxrg | running | I get these weird pains on the lower inside of my legs just a bit above the ankle, but only ever hurt on impact. What exactly is it? | Im sorry if this is a dumb question, I just never really knew what this was. For info-I am 5'8, 204lbs. While heavy, Im good with distance running, its my preferred exercise. I try to run atleast 3 miles 4 days a week and Im usually in the 28-30 minute range with it. But after doing this for a few weeks, I get what I can best describe as "impact soreness", as a part of my leg starts to ache with each impact. Its fine when resting, but once it shows up, it flairs up any time I jog. It gets bad enough for me to have to stop my routine and wait until its gone, which usually takes 2 or so weeks. I hate having to start and stop this way. Any clue as to what is bothering me so I can improve. I even have this problem when I try to run exclusively on surfaces like treadmills, dirt, or grass.
This album shows the location of the pain: | Weird pain whenever trying to start up a good distance running habit. What is it? And what can I do to avoid/fix without stopping my routine. |
t3_3vir83 | personalfinance | Getting ready to fire my CFP | I have a fee-only one-man CFP shop that I've been working with for a decade. My wife and I have recurring question about the worth of a FP every time we write the check. Inspired by the recent post about people not needing FP, I think I'm finally ready to pull the trigger. Should I?
I've been evaluating options. Other CFP/investment firms, robo investing and DIY. Robot wise, my first choice is schwab because most my assets are already there and the price is right. Betterman and hedgeable looks interesting too. I don't think DIY is for me because I tend to slack off on managing finances. I'm leaning towards robots. And I'll probably keep a small piece to buy-and-holding individual stocks.
I read the excellent FAQ and $X write up. I think I'm borderline on needing a CFP. Assets to manage is in the order of $1M. Tax situation is simple. All the basic steps of FP101 are covered and have been saving responsibly for decades.
The main reasons I might need a FP is the size of the basket. However, it's hard earn savings, not a windfall. Hopefully, decades of working with FP and listening to Motley Fools rubs off a bit of financial educations. | How would you manage $1M from hard earned savings? |
t3_3ci7td | Advice | Community is forcing us to pay a $300 fine or put a lien on our house. | My dad and I live by ourselves. We live in a community on a lake, not one of those "developed communities" where every house is the same, but a community in the sense where we have a lake access and park for members only. The community wants us to clean up our yard / cars or pay a $300/month fine. If we don't pay they are threatening to put a lien on our house.
We only ended up having just the 2 of us just recently. He works 10-12 hour days with 2 hours of driving a day. I work nights. We can't afford any gardening service, and we have a couple beat up cars and a truck along side the 2 main cars we use for commuting.
The lake community recently sent out a notice talking about how they wanted to clean up the community, and wanted to cut down on the "junk collector cars", and "old trailers". It also mentioned some things about houses with unkempt lawns. We do our best to keep our front lawn mowed, but our back lawn is big and gets out of hand. Since last winter a lot of large branches, LARGE, came down in our back yard, and before we knew it the grass was too tall to see them. Making it almost impossible to mow the back.
We keep the front looking as best we can, but the 2 extra cars get awfully dirty. Our front water pipe froze over the winter and we haven't had the money to get it fixed. So we can't keep those 2 cars clean. They are covered in pollen.
Is there anything we can do, short of scraping our 2 beat up cars, to make a quick, easy, and cheap fix? We tried contacting them to explain our situation, but they won't even return our calls. | Have a few beat up cars, and a yard with no green grass. Community wants us to pay a $300/month fine until its fixed or place a lien on our property. Need quick fix to get us by until we can fully clean up. |
t3_1n042a | Parenting | Step-parenting Help! | I've already asked friends for help with this issue, but I guess I need more more reassurance or something. At any rate, thanks for listening!
I love my boyfriend dearly, and as we're getting more serious, I'm getting more concerned about his daughter. She's 4 and has picked up some massively terrible habits from her mother. Her mom doesn't have a whole lot going on, so her life revolves around the daughter. This has led her to not be very independent, she can't entertain herself at all, is extremely disrespectful to my boyfriend, and interrupts every conversation my boyfriend and I have. I have worked in child care for most if my life, so this stuff drives me insane!
Just to offer some examples, if we're talking and she's trying to get our attention (we ignore her if she's interrupting because it's rude and we acknowledge her when the speaker has stopped), sometimes she will grab our faces and turn them on herself. Occasionally she will do this and say something along the lines of, "Hey! I'm talking here!"
My boyfriend works a lot, so he lets her get away with a lot because he feels guilty for being gone so much, but with support and pointers from me, it's getting better. My main concern is that her mom is thinking about moving several states away, and we are considering moving a little further as well. I'm worried that if mom gets custody (which is likely because they're Texas residents), over time these issues are just going to get worse and worse. Is it worth it for us to try and get custody? What else should we do? I feel so conflicted because there's no easy answer and I really have no say. I just need some coping tips I guess. | Crappy biomom is crappy. |
t3_2xisjb | relationships | How do I find out what this girl is thinking? [M/25, F/24] | So I've been talking to this girl for a month or so now and gone on 2 dates. When trying to get a 3rd it feels like pulling teeth. I'm gone for work 2 weeks then back for 1. She work for a sports team that has a daily schedule plus has to work nights during game days so she is also busy. When we do have free time we spend it with our friends and haven't got to the point or felt comfortable bringing the other around our friends. This is where I'm stuck. Idk how to interpret what she is thinking/feeling about me. Idk is she really is busy, pretending to be busy to make her hard to get, or just making excuses to get me to stop. When I text her she text me back. We joke around, tease, talk about our days, etc. what can I say or ask her to find out where we stand without making her uncomfortable or sounding overly committed this early.
Side note. My friend knows her from college and said she's very shy but a great girl. I got out of a shitty relationship and says I should do whatever I can to win this girl over because she's a real down to earth girl and I deserve it. I'm a stand up guy and been fucked over by ex gfs who mistake my kindness and openness as weakness. | talking to a girl but don't know if she is looking for the same thing I am. Over thinking her signs. |
t3_3en1wo | relationships | Me [29/m] happy with current gf[29/f] when suddenly ex-gf[27/f] makes contact and kinda ruins everything. | Had a girlfriend for about 4 years, it all started when she came to visit my country - I was sure she was going to leave in a few months but she stayed because of me (for about 4 years). We broke up about a year ago and I did whatever i could with the "no contact rule" to get over everything.
She kept sending me messages every few days or so.
I met a new girl - which is fun and great. - thats when the ex started sending msgs again - she was very hurt due to me dating someone new. - I wanted to protect her so I ignored most of them, but also tried to explain we didn't have a good match and that we should stop talking.
those msgs pretty much ruined my overseas trip with the current gf - i couldn't stop thinking about how bad my ex probably felt.
on top of everything - even thu i didn't go 'online stalking' on the ex - i did eventually look at her fb page to see she has someone new.
All of a sudden i feel as if my emotions to the current gf has gone significantly down - she is perfect for me in every way but now I can't get my ex-gf out of my head. (even though it was about a year ago(!).
I would love to hear some advice about how to get over this - im very confused. There is no way to go back to the ex and i don't know i would like to, even if i could.
I love my current gf and we spend a lot of time together.
Why do I feel such "jealousy" and "sadness" to see my ex with someone new?
When i was with my ex-gf, I didn't feel like I really want to be there.
p.s
I know my ex loved me very much and did everything she could for us to stay together. but I just didn't feel the same way. | Had a great time with new gf, ex-gf suddenly makes contact - I see she has someone new and this makes me less emotional to my current girlfriend. |
t3_32if69 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my Girlfrient [27 F] 8 months, Broke up. Im finally over it and ready to meet someone, need some help | Hi everyone, I just got out of... (in the title). The reason im writing this is that I've only met other people from friends, ive never really gone out and had fun and met people. My entire life I was a recluse, i stayed inside and never partied, never did anything for my self. 2 years ago i moved out of my parents and went to a live with a friend, where i continued to live in the dark about the world. Soon after, I met my latest ex, And I was happy. But I clung to the happiness to hard and she had enough. Its been some time and now I just wanna find people my age to just talk to. Im not ready for dating (Yet), but i am ready for people. So my question is, where do I even start?
this is a copy of my post on r/dating | Broke up from first serious relationship ... anti-social ... where to start? |
t3_1bgr3o | AskReddit | Are there any standards for structure for immersive technologies? | Emerging technologies age given purpose by how they connect with our lives. In the past decade the amount of personal, digital information around an individual has exploded. As various devices become smaller, more sophisticated, and cheaper to manufacture the level of integration of information technologies will only increase. While the risks of such personal information being collected an made available are quickly apparent, such a future seems unlikely to be avoided.
Personally, I'm not overly concerned about the growing web of data that will one day, inevitably stream updates of my shitting habits to a doctor of choice. No, I'm more concerned with the lack of structure there seems to be *already* in this web of data. It makes sense to me to have a system where certain devices are delegated certain tasks and then commercial organisations create a device or service specifically tailored to the tasks of that role.
More examples. Say you have a fancy kitchen which tracks *everything* you do. It logs how much food you eat, how much water you use, damage to your wares, volume of garbage, the sanitation levels of your benchtop, etc. That's a lot of data! Unstructured, this information would probably be handled by a service that comes with each device. Some services may integrate, others may not. What good is all this information if it isn't all integrated and uniformly interpretable? Already, I find a significant burden consciously managing what information of mine I register with what service. The whole point of immersive technologies is to have yourself *unconsciously* immersed in them, making tasks easier. Unfortunately, it can be seen now that technologies are making our lives significantly busier but only slightly easier. The thought of a future with such disarray reminds me of a bad taste or a pungent odor, leaving an uneasy nausea in it's eventual absence.
All of this said, my question is... Are there any immersive technology data structure standards for commercial organisations and individuals to refer to and design by? | There's a growing web of disorganised personal information. A standard for organising this data will allow greater integration of services and accelerate ease of use and market potential. Currently I am unaware of any standards to structure this data, are there any? |
t3_4t3x22 | relationships | Is it bad for me (22/F) to keep hooking up with my ex (30/M) whom I still am in love with? | Okay so:
I'm in recovery for a heroin addiction. My drug use is what broke up my SO and I back in February. We lived together and had been a couple for about 3 years. I was and still am so deeply in love with this man. Prior to us being together, he had been clean for 7 years so me using was an instant deal breaker.
Once every 2-3 weeks, he will end up texting me asking what I'm up to, if I wanna come over etc... I end up taking the bait every single time and of course we end up having sex. Every time. So we both know what to expect.
I guess since I still love him so much, I'm desperately trying to get him back or be a part of his life no matter how much I know he's probably just using me.
Is this bad? Or is it normal and cool and hang with an ex? Should i try to get him back? | ex and I are still fucking. I have emotional feelings still. Is this a bad idea? |
t3_nvtt8 | AskReddit | Why do Anonymous hate celebrities like Justin Bieber, Lady GaGa, Kim Kardashian, and Taylor Swift? Is it for "teh lulz"? | I agree with the folks over at Anonymous with most of their stances on politics. Stuff like regulating the banks, making sure Americans are represented in congress, that's all great stuff. But what's with this fight on celebrities? According to the research I've done none of the celebrities endorse SOPA, I would be surprised if they even knew what SOPA is (except for Justin Bieber, who said he is opposed to the bill). And why hate Lady GaGa? I mean, her music doesn't appeal to everyone, but she sends out good messages like "be yourself" and "love yourself" which is all fine and dandy (even if she does it to sell records, not saying she does, but money does things to people...). Okay, Kim Kardashian seems like an annoying person, but who cares? If you don't like her, ignore her. And what's wrong with Taylor Swift? Sure her music is generic, but again, why does Anonymous care so much?
Of corse these celebrities might have at one point said Anonymous is stupid or something, but why let that get to you? It's as if a part of Anonymous is run by teenaged boys who once someone mentions they're "gay" they fart blood and pout and whine about it on the internet. It's immaturity (and in some cases hilarity) at it's finest.
Okay, maybe it's for teh lulz. But I think now that Anonymous has really stepped out into more serious things like protesting a congress that doesn't give two ducks about it's people it's time to move on. But maybe I'm wrong, maybe teh lulz does have an underlying purpose. . .
I'm not hating on Anonymous, they run a good team over there and are able to get the attention of the 1%, I just feel like they can set their minds on more interesting things. | Seems like Anonymous is wasting time bashing celebrities who don't matter when they could do something that might make a difference. What do you think? |
t3_yw314 | AskReddit | Am I in the wrong? | Hello people,
I have been married to my wife for almost 3 years now and we have a beautiful baby girl together. She is stuck at home almost 24/7 because we only have one car right now. She never has any real desire to go out with friends though because of our parental obligations and the distance between our friends and us. She never really even wants to go out to a movie with me because of the cost and the nearest theater is over 45 minutes away. Aside from that stuff we have a great relationship and love each other with all of our hearts, truly.
Right now I am away on a business trip and I noticed one of her ex's posted on a post of hers on FB. Now this ex of hers was actually a friend of mine in a past life, until he went off on me and my wife when we got together 3 years after they ended their 6 month (long distance) relationship.
Anyway, I have told my wife in the past that I would prefer she not talk to her ex. She told me she would not ask me to do that, so I dropped it. I am not one to hold my tongue though and tonight I let her know how her talking to him was disrespectful to me as he husband. She got upset and said we should be past the jealousy in our marriage. I told her I am not jealous, but a guy that went off on me and erased me from his life, and later on apologized to her was not someone I am okay with her speaking to.
I told her I stopped talking to my best friends sister just because she told me she didn't like me talking to her. My friends sister liked me at one time.
This ex of hers also told me before her and I got together that he still loved her. | Anyway, long ass story short. Is it okay for me to ask my wife to remove an ex of hers from her facebook and her life? |
t3_oidux | AskReddit | What is the weirdest Wet Dream you have ever had? | I searched for this and couldn't find any so hopefully it will not be a repeat. I'll start with my experience:
So in the dream, I was Darth Vader on the Death Star, just chillin and going along my normal Vader Business, when a few guards drop of a female... Any guesses who? Leia! Well, I take her out on the balcony of my living quarters, which makes no sense how that's even possible, but the view was nice. Anyway, I grab her, throw her on the ground and start to lean into her, basically dry humping for a few moments, when BAM! Sexy Time Explosion right in my Vader Suit. Thats when I woke up and remembered that I was on a road trip, sharing a bed with a buddy of mine, in someones house whom I didn't know... So I sneaked away, cleaned off and nobody was the wiser.
So that's mine... whats yours? | Had insestual starwars wet dream while sharing a bed with a friend |
t3_3ft05v | relationships | I've [24m] been seeing a girl [21f] for 09 months now, but she'll be going away for a year soon. | Hey there!
I've met this girl at a halloween party last year and I enjoy dating her a lot. Thing is, she's studying to become an engineer and, as custom, will be living abroad for one year, starting July 2016.
Couple months ago, she sent me the following message: "You seem to be content with just seeing each other once a week, and I'm actually looking for something more meaningful. The fuck is up dude?"
Well, I told her that I really like her, but I'm not comfortable starting a relationship with an expiration date, considering she'll leave and also considering I'm not fond of distance relationships.
Also mentioned that I'd be super thrilled to keep seeing her meanwhile, but if a serious thing is what she seeks, then we should stop seeing each other.
She mentioned she understood and we still see each other once a week.
Recently, I am becoming more and more infatuated with (by? for?) her, to the point where I regret shutting her off when she mentioned she wanted serious stuff. And yet, I do believe I have a point when I think about the expiration date stuff.
What the hell do I do, then? Should I just let it go? Should I date her and try to forget the pain of an eventual breakup?
Please consider that going with her is not a possibility for me, and that she will be gone for one year - waiting her return is kinda bummy for both of us, I suppose, so that is also not an option.
What are your thoughts, people? Thank you in advance! | i be in love with bae but bae be leaving and not returnin' for a damn year, should we become serious yes or no |
t3_3bl1un | relationships | My [17 M] parents completely disapprove of dating, unsure of how to secretly stay with my girlfriend [17 F] | Be me, american kid with arab background in a Florida high school. Three months ago, my crush, this amazingly kind and attractive girl (Chinese if that helps), and I spent an entire weekend gushing about our feelings for each other; we had apparently bottled them up for about a year. Neither of us had been in a serious relationship before, so we were really taken aback at the revelation. We decided to start dating (not really knowing what it meant at the time), and our emotional escapades can aptly be described as nervous but euphoric; the familiar teenage love story.
Fast forward to today. We've tried to spend almost every waking hour with each other (she was more into me than I initially picked up on, and I was pretty much whipped) despite our studies and exams. I honestly think I'm in love with this girl, and although I understand that it might just be teenage puppy love, for now I'm convinced. Everything is perfect with her, it's just my family that's a problem.
My family is all of Lebanese-Muslim background. They despise the "Westernized" idea of dating, as they demonstrated with my sister's [24 F] example. Two years ago, they discovered my sister, who due to cultural and financial implications still lived with my parents, was having a secret relationship with some American dude in college. They kicked her out and haven't spoken to her since (my dad doesn't want anyone contacting her). I'm worried that this zero-tolerance policy will come back to me, so it's not a question of whether or not to tell them, but rather how to hide it. I will be earning my license this year, but other than that, I am completely reliant upon them.
I don't want to lose what I have with this girl. She has put a stop the stream of monotonous bullshit from both schoolwork and home life, and she has gone into detail about how I have done the same for her. I want to spend more time with her, but my extremely suspicious parents don't want me spending too much time away from them. She is everything that I look forward to now, but I'm scared that my parents finding out about this is inevitable. | Perfect relationship but parents will raise hell if they find out |
t3_4n31xc | relationships | What should i [19 m] do? I haven't spoken to her [19 f] in like 2 weeks | It seemed like everything was great between us. Even if she doesn't feel the same, i feel like we still could be talking to each other like friends. She warmed up to me a lot more after i got her number, she seemed more outgoing whenever we talked.
I feel like i wrecked things after i asked her to a movie, she said yes. the day after i asked her i got kind of awkward in not knowing what to talk about and over time it seemed like she became more distant. We ended up not going.
so i tried texting her just to talk about anything, but no response, that was days ago. and now i'm more afraid i was overly persistent (thought with the amount of time i had, i felt like i had to be) and scared her off. I want to text her to say i'm sorry if i made her uncomfortable or feel pressured if i did at all. But like the last text i sent her, i feel like she'll see it and think nothing of it. I really wouldn't know what's going on in her life, for all i know she hasn't seen it, but i seriously doubt it.
I still like her a lot, i fear that i'll never see her again since we're in college, and so far i haven't had a class with someone in consecutive semesters. And to be honest she's the only nenw person i've met that i can actually talk to about anything.
i don't want to never see her again that's all i know. deep down i know i'll get over her at some point, but the feelings i have for her make me not want to. | I texted her but she never texted back, i'm afraid i've messed something up and i'm not sure what to do. i like her a lot and i don't know what to do. |
t3_e45uk | AskReddit | Tech job proved to be a bit harder than expected, do I have a chance? | Some of you may know that this is my first tech support job, I was hired based on the "We got this 2 week project we need help with, give us a hand and well see if we keep you as full time", so this an evaluation pretty much.
I came in with intermediate PC knowledge, and i've been doing pretty easy support tasks. But its getting harder and harder especially with software use, almost all of my company's support software is propetary which i never seen before, and their clients have software i never seen before either.
So im finding myself unable to assist this tickets, but my boss says its alright, and to just do something else to keep my mind entertained [He's a really chilled guy]. Yeah thats great and all, but it wont look good at all. I got tickets pilling up and I just dont want to be asking question every minute because it'll make me look like i dont know anything at all.
Im getting fustrated and scared. | I'm in my job evaluation, but the tasks are a bit harder than expected, Im scared to fail |
t3_3wbx3e | relationships | My [27F] boyfriend [23M] hates when I do nice things for him and it drives me crazy! | I've dated my boyfriend for a while, over 2 years, and he's wonderful for the most part. He's fun, childish (In a good way), and makes me feel wonderful. He's never short of giving a compliment everyday, or getting me a gift. Unfortunately, it's hard to return the sentiment.
He hates when I get him things, or pay for anything. If I compliment him, eh shrugs it off. If I get him a gift, he says "I don't need it, you didn't have to", etc. When I ask him where he wants to eat, or what he wants to eat, "Where ever you want, it doesn't matter", which isn't true since I know he has finicky tastes that can fluctuate everyday. When I ask him what he wants for Christmas or his Birthday "Don't get me anything, I don't need anything." In fact, this summer during his Birthday he refused to do anything but just stay in his room and sleep. He helped me at work for a bit in the morning, and then even after I said we'd do something fun, he just said "no, it's OK" and went home. (And I know some people here might think the worst, but I know all he did was just stay home and sulk since his mom even complained to me about it)
I really hate this, especially since he's done so much for me, and has planned out extremely elaborate fun days for the two of us. I know it's not with just me, since he acts this way around his family too. And I've looked at his financials and I know he doesn't have that much money, but he refuses to let me buy things, or pay for things, or anything. I've tried talking to him about this, but he just brushes it off, and doesn't really want to talk about it.
It sucks since I know this has been a hard year for him and his family because of multiple close family deaths, and I want to do something nice for him this Christmas, but he refuses for me to do anything. It's been like this for several holidays, and I don't want this holiday to be another one. | Boyfriend is wonderful and takes me on fun dates and giving gifts at his own expense, but refuses to let me return the favor. I want to make Christmas wonderful to him but I don't know what to do. What do I do? |
t3_2s7khu | dogs | HELP!! My dog bit someone today | Hi guys, normally I'd read past threads to see what others have said, but I think this kind of situation is very individual.
Basically, my dad was walking the dog this morning, he usually let's him off the lead on the final stretch of the walk as it's an unobstructed straight line to our house. However, this morning my dog ran off. It isn't the first time it's happened so I wasn't too worried. We all had to leave for work.
When we got home this evening the dog was there and looked happy with a days running done.
Issue starts when a couple arrive at the door and tell me my dog was fighting with his dogs and when he tried to break up the fight my dog attacked him too. He had a few bandages and had clearly been to the doctor.
At the time I was too shocked that my dog was capable of this to do anything other than apologise. After time to process it, I feel terrible that it happened. I'm not sure about other countries, but in mine, if he decides to do something about it he can have my dog put down without question.
What I want to know is how can my dog who has been so tame and friendly for over 3 years snap and bite a man a few times.
Does anyone know if I can do anything other than not have him off a lead again?? | dog bit a man, what do I do now? |
t3_2jwkl8 | relationships | My [30s M] uncle [60s M] is (as usual) expecting people to do things his way. Need help responding. | Since I was a teenager I've always been at odds with my controlling uncle who thinks he can tell other people how to run their lives. Not suggest, tell. His social skills/calibration is like watching a Rhino in a china shop. For the last few years we've been cordial, but distanced.
Sunday evening, it was the birthday party of my grandmother, who is also his mom. With a number of medical issues, she is mostly asleep, nearly blind, immobile and although her mind is supposedly still fully functional, she can only rarely talk.
I had spent the entire weekend with the family (elsewhere, ending close to where she lives), and wanted to go home (3+h drive) and get a good start on the week instead of attending yet another dinner with the same faces and getting home **super** late. Therefore, I visited with gramps in private before leaving in the late afternoon.
I don't know if she was actually carted to the dinner or not, but if she was, i probably wouldn't have been able to eat anything. **I cannot express my grief at seeing a functional human trapped in an entirely non-functional body and somehow still be "alive".** (And if she wasn't, what's the point
Now I've gotten a text from my uncle:
> You're sending a very bad signal when you don't have "time" to stay and eat at what will most likely be [gramps'] last family event.
I want to tell him to fuck off and play with his own crap. And I have no problem doing it.
But I should be cordial. Because it's the grown-up thing to do. And he's family.
I have a beginning:
> I celebrated [gramps] birthday with [gramps].
But I am not sure how best to continue. | My uncle is disappointed that I did not attend a certain family dinner. Need to tell him to GTFO of my life in a nice way. |
t3_17d8uf | dating_advice | Did I[M26] fuck up? | So I met this girl[24] at work. We both had been out of a relationship a long time. Her one, me three. Well we were feeling each other, hung out. Had sex a few times. We really like each other. I tell her I was at my buddies house and he had two girls over. They're over to see him. I had no Idea who they were, or that they were coming. So, anywho, he tells me one of the girls liked me. I shurg my shouldrs and said "oh well". And he goes "right, I told her you had a girlfriend". I tell her about. And she's pissed that I was hanging with girls. Telling me I should try to be with her.But I like her, the girl I'm seeing. Did I fuck up somewhere Reddit? | hung out with other girls. Did nothing. Girlfriend pissed. |
t3_3nwp7f | cats | [Advice Requested] Is there any way to get my two cats to tolerate each other? | Hi /r/cats! About a year ago, my boyfriend and I adopted a cat (who was believed to have been a stray before then). She was a total lovebug with people and so timid and gentle! The shelter warned us that technically they didn't know how she'd react to sharing space with other cats, but that given her personality they thought she'd be just fine.
We already had a cat at home--he's a BIG boy (he's got a clean bill of health, he's just huge), but he grew up with another cat and had always been just fine. His brother had been put down earlier that year and he seemed lonely, so we figured he'd be happy to have a new playmate.
Fast forward a year: these two *hate* each other. If they get anywhere near each other, she hisses and yelps and swats and he corners her (he's much larger than her). When he does this, she gets so scared that sometimes she has an accident where she's standing. We tried everything the vet suggested (everything from Feliway to trying to get them to bond over a toy to introducing them to each other at a glacial pace by having them eat on opposite sides of a door), but nothing has worked. It finally got to the point where we bought a giant pet gate and divided our apartment in half--each cat now gets one side.
They're both young, and this is no way to live for another ~10 years. Has anyone else encountered anything like this? Is there *any* way to teach them to get along? They're family and I'll do whatever I have to in order to ensure that they're safe and well cared for, but I'd love to at least get to the point where we can take down the damn gate. | My cats hate each other and can't be in the same room. How do I fix this? |
t3_lh6cu | AskReddit | Would anyone be interested in a Reddit GOP Straw Poll (Survey Monkey)? | Overall Question: If you had to choose one of the GOP candidates to be President who would you vote for? This would obviously exclude the fact that many would vote in the primary for the least likely person to beat Obama. Therefore, out of the 12 or so odd candidates running for the Republican nomination, who would you like to see as Commander in Chief?
The poll would be done using survey monkey and would potentially cost me a little bit of cash to provide for so many people, so I thought I would see if there was any interest first.
I was thinking that there would also be a place to state what country or U.S. region you are from as well as your ethnicity, gender, religion, sexual preference, political affiliation, and age so that we could gauge demographics.
If this is of interest to 750 to 1000 people then I could pull the trigger. Also if there are any other relevant questions or topics that we could vote on let me know.
I was thinking that after you made your choice we could have a question on what makes the person you chose stand out; A. B. C. or D. As a fairly liberal community I think it would be interesting to see where we stand on the Republican candidates. | Should I create a survey monkey to determine which GOP candidate Reddit would vote for to be President if we had to choose one of them? This would cost some sweet cash money and I wouldn't want to waste it if there isn't interest. |
t3_3w5gxi | relationships | Me [18m] with my girlfriend [17f] , going through a pregnancy scare, need to talk to some one | Well as the title says, my GF Kelly is now a week late after we got ahead of ourselves one night about a week ago, made a stupid stupid stupid mistake and we started without a condom, we didn't finish or anything, no fluids where transfered. Now we're not sure if she is pregnant, she had a rough two weeks, not eating properly, going to bed at 6am and getting up at 9am working, she says this could also be a cause, we are in a country that doesn't allow terminations, so we have to go to the UK, money is no issue, if needs be and she wants to she can go and get her termination, but I can't handle this stress, she's taking it in her stride, I'll admit she's always been very strong and stronger than me, but she says not to bring it up unless she does ( I'm more than willing to if that's how she wants to handle it) so basically I need somone to talk to while we wait. I can't take this waiting, I have to ask her questions I don't do well with staying quite, I need to know things, I'm doing my best but I'm doubting if it's good enough. | GF is week late handling it well but I'm not need someone to talk to/calm me down |
t3_rr4ih | AskReddit | Why would employers think it is ok to ask for facebook password? | As someone who is very interested in computer security and would like to get into that field of work, I am wondering why companies think it is ok to request your facebook password? This just seems so wrong on so many levels. Do companies realize a lot of people use the same passwords for multiple things? Would they want someone working for them to give up their password so someone can go onto their work account to see what they are doing? No. This would open up many security issues and an increased chance the company could get hacked and company records/data stolen. What's next, will companies ask for your house keys so they can go into your home and look at your photo albums? Do they want our bank account info to see what we are buying? Have these employers requesting this info never used a computer in their lifetime? Please help me understand why employers think this is even close to being ok. | Read title. |
t3_3hddah | relationships | Me [21M] with my gf [20F] of a year and my parents, I'm looking for graduate jobs for next year and I'm not sure whether I'm doing the right thing! | Hi everyone.
I think I just need some advice and insight into the situation.
I've been with my current girlfriend for about a year. She's a bit of a free spirit and I'm more focussed on getting a job to support a future family when I leave university. That said, we have a lot of plans of adventures we want to go in in our lives together and I am really excited about these ideas.
I've been looking for graduate jobs as I'm in my last year of university and I managed to get one with my dads firm. However the placement takes place in a city I really don't want to work in. I've spoken to people in the company about changing location and they have said it's no problem, but my dad thinks that my salary and promotion chances will be much worse anywhere else.
This isn't what bothers me particularly, I'm not a career junkie, I want to be able to support a family and have some freedom in my working, which this provides. However he has taken a big issue with it on my behalf.
The issue starts here. My gf suggested that I take a position in her home city so we can be close while I'm working, as she wants to stay with her parents for a while after university. I have no issues with being further from my parents as her family is awesome and the city she lives in is beautiful.
My mom has expressed that she is Upset that I will possibly start a family closer to my gfs family than my own and how she doesn't think this is fair. (It's about 2 hours away for them) personally I hadn't thought this far ahead but any insight would be appreciated.
Secondly, I am worried that this decision might be premature given the length of our relationship so far. Is it too soon to be thinking about things like this? I love her and our relationship has been perfect so far, and I can't foresee any reason for us to breakup any time soon but I am stuck with these worries.
Thanks guys | want to take a job in my gfs home city to be close to her. Is it too soon? Do my parents have a right to be upset that I am moving closer to her family? |
t3_2u0cox | relationship_advice | [19/m]Should I trust this Filipina girl at all? [25/f] | So, a few months ago this Filipina girl added me on fb randomly. I found it strange but it was whatever. Anyway, I pop her a message asking her why she added me and she said I was cute. Fast forward a couple of weeks of talking and she said that she dreams of being a wife, I asked her if she wanted to be anything else (since I was speaking job wise to begin with) and she said a girlfriend. I threw her a bone and told her she was my gf.
Anyway like two days later I asked for some naked pictures, she agreed very easily and just sent them to me, except a few minutes, maybe an hour or two after that she started suggesting that I send her money. Her excuse was that the Internet in the Phillipines is slow and that if I gave her money she could pay for better Internet and talk to me more. Except she never directly asked she just kept hinting. I haven't sent her any money yet.
A few days later my spider sense started tingling so to speak, and something told me to look up her name on fb. Turns out she had a second fb page. I didn't add her on there since I didn't want her to know I was looking at it, but after looking through the pictures and comments I found out she had a son. And it said on the page she was engaged (had no pictures of him though), I didn't want to jump too far off since a lot of girls have that set to something random. You know. Anyway I confronted her about the kid and she said she didn't tell me because I never asked.
Go another few days forward and I decide to add one of her friends and just ask them directly. Her friend told me she had a bf already and that she doesn't know what her friend is thinking. Although I didn't feel like I should trust her since she started flirting with me immediately after she said that.
And here's another weird thing, she will not put that she's in a relationship with me directly on either page. She just puts that she's in a relationship. She said that she'd change it after I sent her money | Filipina girl added me on fb |
t3_1tlw3z | relationships | Is it okay to reminisce with a past love interest while in a serious relationship? | I (F23) can't speak for myself. I am not a social person, so I don't talk to any of my exes, but I think it's okay to be friends with them. My SO (M35), who I have been with for a year and a half has a best friend who he was involved with years ago and they started reminiscing up until he realized everything they were saying was up for everyone to see (none of it was inappropriate to read....), and he prompted her to message him anything else if the conversation were to continue about the old days.
I am having mixed feelings. I don't think I would have had this kind of conversation with any of my exes because I feel like it would have been inappropriate, but it's hard to say since I don't talk with any of them. There is actually one ex in my past that tried to start reminiscing, but I cut it before it could go anywhere. | mixed feelings about SO reminiscing with ex, is it okay? |
t3_p2ohc | AskReddit | tinnitus anyone? | I have had ringing in my right ear for the last week now. it has gotten a little worse over the last few days. I went to a doctor a week ago and she told me it was an infection and game me some ear drops. two days ago when I woke up the ringing was definitely worse and i went to see another doctor who didn't really help me at all (but this doctor told me I didnt have an infection). I have an appointment with an ear specialist in 1 month...I was at at a house party last week but the music wasn't even that loud. age:22 | what are the chances i have tinnitus, any tips on coping with it? driving me crazy :( |
t3_3f3esh | relationships | Can't Stand My Girlfriend's Excessive Slang | My girlfriend and I are both in our mid-20s and have been dating for over 2 years. She is a couple years younger than me, but not young enough to where we wouldn't have a similar vocabulary.
She comes to me one day and tells me that her 17 year old brother has started calling his girlfriend "bae" and says "isn't that silly?"
Yes... Low and behold, guess what she is calling me to her friends?
She recently graduated college and is getting to the point where she needs to watch how she speaks to people.
*Ex. When she is trying to get a job or when she is around my parents.
We have discussed not talking like a high school kid, especially when in situations like this.
Honestly, it just makes her sound unintelligent when she definitely is not. I think it stems from her wanting to imitate our friends (who are not smart and not good influences) just to fit in.
I get so tired of hearing how "on point" or "dope" or "cray" something is. I don't want to be called someone's "boo" or "bae" especially around friends or family.
It's getting to the point where it makes me *think* she really is a dumb girl who just wants to make her self sound popular. I am fairly smart and don't want people to get the wrong impression of me when she opens her mouth.
I realize it is just me being an asshole, but at what point should you stop talking like you are in high school? It actually really embarrasses me, but I don't want her to feel censored. Is there any way for me to voice this without being a complete dick? | My girlfriend's use of slang lowers my impression of her intelligence and makes me not take her seriously. It visibly embarrasses me, yet she keeps doing it. I want to find an appropriate way to broach the topic so that the inevitably difficult conversation is not totally wasted. |
t3_1jfnjd | personalfinance | Do you punish yourself in any way when you spend past your budget? | I know nearly everyone in this subreddit keeps a fairly detailed budget. I was curious; what do you do when you go past your budget for the month in one category or another?
I spent nearly quadruple my entertainment budget in July and almost 50% past my total budget. Note: this is not a problem in my particular case. I still saved nearly half my paycheck. But I had a couple large purchases and a an unexpected auto repair bill ...Steam sale didn't help either.
Anyway, I was curious how you guys handle the occasional overspend? Don't do it at all? Force yourself to pay yourself back? etc... | How do you handle a blown budget so that it doesn't become habit? |
t3_2vmrgm | books | Casual reader, this my first time reading a book that I didn't like. | I love sci fi/fantasy. I have spent the past 2 decades of my life slowly reading my way through the greats: Asimov, Heinlein, Dick; As well as those classics like the Ender's Game universe, ASoIaF, 1984...you get the point. I found all of these books because they were recommended as the top in the genre.
I recently started reading some more trashier sci fi novels, the Troy Rising series by John Ringo (before you say it "[Oh John Ringo No] Admittedly they were fun, they had adventure...But they also had some smack in the face obvious references to Ringo's political views. Which in the end made me dislike the books. Not because we disagree politically, I honestly don't care, but because it was so blatant that it instantly pulled me out of the world I was in.
This is my first time finding books on my own, and it is the first time that I disliked a series after reading it.
So in a round about way, I'm asking for your stories of the first time you disliked a book or an author. | Who/what was the first author/book you disliked after reading? Why? Do you have any good sci fi/ fantasy recommendations? |
t3_2mmogz | Advice | I (m20) don't talk to my family anymore. | Me and my parents fought a lot. We were never really close at all. My dad drinks all the time and my Mom doesn't do anything about it. Whenever my dad was drunk he would always tell me to move out and go find my own place and stop eating all their food and that they can't afford me living there and I'm a lazy shit. My mom wouldn't really do anything about his drinking at all except tell him to stop yelling and that drinking is killing him but she would never follow through with doing anything and he would continue to drink. Me and my mom have never really had the ideal relationship either, she was always mad at me for something. We would argue all the time over little things. So about 8 months ago we all had a huge fight and I finally packed all my stuff and moved out. So far, over about 8 months, I've made it all the way to Ohio and I left my parents back in California, I'm kinda proud of myself. I haven't seen them since or talked to them. My plan is to go to New York City (find my fortune in the big city sorta thing). I've been living out of motel rooms and hitch hiking so far. I been living off of money I saved up before I left my parents but I'm almost out. Has anyone else Been in this kind of situation? How did you manage? How did you starting making money? This is the first time I've been on my own. But I'm excited and optimistic. I don't really care to see my parents again. Fuck em. I'm 20 years old. | Me and my shitty parents fought, I moved out, and I'm on my own for the first time with little money. |
t3_2s7ykh | askwomenadvice | Why is it generally okay for a woman to express her disinterest in short men, but heavily frowned upon for men to express their disinterest in heavy-set women? | I first want to start off by saying I'm not trying to degrade or scream "FEMALE PRIVILIGE" at all. I'm pretty sure there's good reasoning behind it and I'm just looking for other points of view.
But I often see people, especially feminists, getting upset whenever a man says "I don't like fat chicks" or "no fat chicks" or anything like that.
However, no one really looks funny at a woman if she says she doesn't like short guys.
My opinion is; everyone has the right to their own preference, we can't force other people to be attracted to things they aren't usually attracted to just for political correctness.
On the other side of that, no matter what gender you are, if you have a lot of chemistry personality wise, sometimes we should look over shortcomings. Ie: I am usually attracted to thinner petite women myself (being a skinny guy), but I've developed crushes on women that were considered "fat" by societal standards but was still able to find attraction despite preference. | Why are men judged more harshly for being shallow than women are? |
t3_2wsr3h | relationships | I (20 F) want to pursue a (21 M), but have no idea how. | Okay, I need help getting a guy here. We have a mutual friend, and he's at a lot of the same social gatherings I am, and I like him quite a lot. However, I have a disadvantage here, being a girl from a very conservative town, I'm a bit under-educated on how chasing works. Usually, I am the chasee (I'm not trying to be egotistic, I'm just explaining my inexperience).
He's fun, athletic, exactly my body type, and he's invested in getting a solid career (he's already been interviewed for an awesome internship), which are all attractive to me. I'm never the most attractive girl in the room, and I'm slightly overweight, but I'm pretty sure this guy is still relatively in my league, so I want to give it a shot.
At the last party we were both at, he sat next to me and we engaged in a subtle but enjoyable drunken elbow war, and he was kind of touching my leg and leaning into my space...but he was pretty drunk, so I'm not basing anything on that.
Anyway, how do I indicate my interest to this guy without having sex/supersexual activities? I don't want to jump into sex too soon, but I don't know how to connect with him. I know this sounds like I'm usually using sex to attract guys, but I don't. I've just never pursued a guy before, and I don't want that to be the way I do it. | Want to attract a guy without sex, no idea how. |
t3_1jfd32 | relationships | Me[24M] and this woman [25F] Just started dating. Shes incredibly hard to get in touch with, not sure what to do. | Full story:
I just recently moved to a new state for work and have been using dating sites in order to find someone. After searching for about a month and going on several failed or just plain awful dates, I finally found this girl that I'm at least into. We've been on one date but were talking online since.
The issue at hand here is that her schedule is the complete opposite of mine and I can't ever seem to get in touch with her after several different attempts. She works nights, I work days, and theres no overlap between when I would get off of work and she would leave for work where we can see each other or really even talk. I shoot her a text to say hi at least once a day but she doesn't get home until midnight which is when I'm getting ready for bed, and even then I receive no response from her. It makes me feel like I'm not important enough to her to send a simple 2 second text message. In fact we had to reschedule the first date because she missed it since she got back from work late the day before and stood me up. I gave her a second chance though.
I've noticed that she responds better when I send her messages over the dating site we use. She says that she keeps her phone on silent when shes at work but that doesn't excuse why she isn't checking her phone throughout the work day. I get that some people aren't attached at the hip to their phones but the lack of ability to get in touch with her is concerning to say the least. We have another date scheduled for this weekend and I was finally able to get in touch with her last night to arrange this. | Woman I've been dating doesn't respond very frequently to my text messages. We went 2 days between the last conversation. Making me feel like I'm not important to her. What do? |
t3_3mxgcy | relationships | Me [24F] with my BF [25M] found something through snooping and now I'm worried [NOT cheating] | Alright so we've been dating for 3 and a half years, and we've had a pretty good relationship. There've been a lot of bumps along the way, but we're more or less very happy now. So, I guess some backstory about him. He's a partier. Always has been. This summer, I got a full time job at my university, and he just worked his part-time job. He started going to this bar [I've been there a couple of times and it's a shit bar, total dump] every single weekend, and every weekend he'd get drunk and party super late. He also loves getting high [weed mostly] which I don't mind, but around mid-summer he admitted that he tried cocaine with his best friend at this bar. I got pretty upset with him over it because he said he'd never do hard stuff. He assured me that it made him feel disgusting and he never wanted to do it again [he was very sluggish/tired/etc. so I believed him]
Fast forward to now; he left his Facebook message open to this guy he's become friends with at that bar talking about how he was at a private party and there was loads of coke and everything, and my BF replied saying it sounded like a sick party. Scrolling through other messages, I saw hints that maybe he's been doing more than just drinking.
I have zero idea how to ask him about this. I don't want to tell him I was going through his Facebook messages, but I'm scared he's going to get too far into this and ruin his life or something. I have no idea how to bring it up, and if I do, how do I know he isn't lying if he says he isn't doing it? [I got pissed the first time he told me, so naturally I assume he wouldn;t want to tell me again]
How do I bring this up? Should I bring it up? What the **** do I do? | I think my BF might be doing hard drugs every now and then but I don't know how to confront him without admitting I snooped. How do I bring this up with him? |
t3_4thhdz | relationships | I [18 M] am having a difficult time with a tough situation involving someone close [18 F]. | I have been close friends with a girl for almost 6 years now, and we've always had feelings for each other, but easily found a way to get into other engagements. I have a friend who is the same age as me, and also has been involved with her, but has consistently disappointed and hurt her. Recently, she opened up to me in a way she hasn't before, and gave me a weekend that I'd been waiting for forever. Now, she's away, and not only am I missing her, but I'm unsure on where we stand, because she stated that she wanted me but felt obligated to give my friend the light of day, and I don't want to bother her. I don't know what to do or say (if anything) and any advice would be wonderful. | A friend and I like the same girl, but she likes me more and has for longer. She went away on a trip but left me in the dark on where we stand. |
t3_3yvr0f | relationships | I'm (38f) scared of my husband (36m) who's on meds | My husband has severe ocd and anxiety and takes many medications including 3 right before bed that make him tired. Tonight he took them later than usual which makes their effects worse somehow. He also wears a cpap and will sometimes either take it off in his sleep or it will loosen and then he snores. I tell him when his snoring wakes me and he usually fixes it.
Tonight I was awake at 12:15 and I heard him snoring and I told him to fix his mask. I could tell he couldn't understand who I was or what was real. Like I said this happens when he takes his meds late and wakes up after only a little bit of sleep. So I start helping him put it back on and he pulls it out of my hands and basically starts breaking the mask apart. I couldn't get him to stop or hear what I was even saying. Finally I clapped my hands really loud and yelled his name and he SCREAMED at me to stop like at the top of his lungs. I got scared then but I did a stupid thing and tried to take the mask out of his hands so that he could just go back to sleep without it and he RIPPED it away from me. He had this look of rage on his face and I said "excuse me??" And he said "don't ever rip anything out of my hands again." So I left and came upstairs to my daughter's room because she's visiting my parents. Honestly I'm scared now and I'm hearing noises from downstairs and I want to lock the bedroom door but I feel like that will be crossing a threshold in my marriage that I can't come back from.
Please help. | my husband is out of his mind on medication and I'm scared of him |
t3_4er8ka | relationships | My (21f) employer (35f) is wanting to lower my rate when I come back from having my baby | First time poster, sorry if jumbled and not formatted right. I'm on my phone.
So I (21f) am a nanny of 3 kids (1.5f,4f&6m) the 6m is in school 830 to 230, 4f has preschool 9 to 1130 3 days a week and the 1.5f is with me all day. I am currently pregnant and due in a few months and have told my employer (35f). I said I would go on leave end of school year(end of may) and come back September.
She was casually speaking with me the other morning about them finding someone etc and mentioned how when I come back there would be only the 1 during the day(plus my own) so she'd have to "figure that out too" which I'm assuming meant rate wise. Now here's the deal, I only make $300/weekly for watching them regardless if they are all home or not and if it's a half day I get half pay(when I first accepted the job I swear she said only way I wouldn't get paid is if I wasn't here). I knew taking the job I would be underpaid but figured it would be fine. So it really comes out to $6 an hour. I have other side jobs where I work less and make more but that's another story. So for our zip I should be making $15.50 an hour when all 3 kids are home and $13.00 for just 1 but since I'd be bringing my own, naturally i would split that $13.00 which means $.50 more than what I'm making now.. I'm not sure how to approach this. I wouldn't ask for more $ but not sure it's worth my time if the rate drops.
My husband has a good job and can financially support us for me to be able to stay home and stay with just our baby but it feels weird to me not having a job.. I've had a job since I was 12 and I like having the extra money etc..
Reddit what should I do? Do I ask her what her plans are in terms of rates? Do I just leave it and say I won't be returning? | My (21f) employer (35f) is wanting to lower my nanny rate when I come back from having my own child. |
t3_ruzuu | AskReddit | What would actually happen after a zombie apocalypse? | I was rewatching Zombieland a few days ago when it got to the scene where they go to the grocery store to look for a Twinkie, and it made me wonder what would actually happen to various buildings/businesses after a zombie apocalypse. For instance, would grocery stores officially stop giving fucks about people ransacking their store for food? Would they actively give it away? Would massive food companies start handing out food to save humanity, or hoard it until people offered large quantities of post-apocalyptic currency?
And aside from food places, what would *actually* happen at, say, banks, prisons, hospitals, highways ('The Walking Dead' comes to mind, where every highway is riddled with empty cars), car dealerships, gas stations, etc. | In the event of a zombie apocalypse, what would *actually* happen to various buildings and businesses (due to either mobs of people, or decisions from the business itself)? |
t3_3ppyvk | weddingplanning | Should I invite my boss and coworkers? | Maybe all you other scientist Wedditors can help me out. I'm a molecular biology grad student, so I work in a lab with three other grad students and one postdoc (and a few undergrads/techs who used to be undergrads). It's a fairly close-knit workspace so we interact all the time at work (and occasionally hang out outside of work). One of the grad students is a good friend and will be a bridesmaid, but I'm debating on whether to invite the other grad students and postdoc and my boss. They're all nice and I totally wouldn't mind having them there, but I've only been in this lab for a few months since I switched from another lab. I've known them all since my first year of grad school, but would it be weird to invite all of them since we've only been coworkers for a few months? I'm definitely closer to a couple of them than the others, but I don't want to invite half my coworkers and not the other half since there aren't very many of us and they would all know. I'm also inviting a few of the people from my old lab, so I feel like I should invite the people in my new lab (who, again, I'd be fine with inviting, I'm just not sure if that's unusual). My boss and I get along pretty well, but I'm also not sure if it would be weird to invite him. | small coworker group, who to invite? |
t3_14jor5 | relationships | Urgent! [19m] Found a chat between my gf [18f] and a new guy [17/18?m] Going to go to her work when she finishes in a few hours to confront her! Need advice! | [for the mods we have been dating for one year]
So I just logged on facebook on my ipad and without realising i opened an inbox thinking it was for me. Now I only realised it was for my gf after i had opened it. It was from a new guy who she had been speaking too since my birthday. (wednesday) Now these two have really hit it off by the looks of it and in the messages they keep going on about wanting to meet up and how they're so glad they're talking.
if anyone cares there is a short screencap of the convo.
Now instantly this has made me pissed. My girlfriend has been constantly ignoring me and spending a lot of time at home recently cause she is "too tired" and enjoys been with her parents and dogs. But what has annoyed me is that she is sad when he seems to "ignore her" when she constantly ignores me! They want to go for drives together to chill and now it feels as though i'm being put 2nd. I've had enough and when she finishes work in a few hours time I'm going to be waiting outside to ask wtf this is all about. Please help with what would be the best way to talk to her about this and how I should end it. (this is my first serious relationship so I'm a little bit of a novice) | accidentally found a very flirtatious chat between my gf and a new lad. Planning to confront her in a couple of hours when she finishes work. Need urgent help please! |
t3_3zaj47 | relationships | I [31F] feel like I should be dating, but I want to spend all my time with my [32M] friend. | I got out of a LTR about 3 years ago. Shortly after I met my friend through mutual hobbies. Our friendship has progressed from seeing each other a few times a week for a hobby, to seeing a movie occasionally, to spending nearly every Saturday together. We usually meet up in the morning, and wind up watching Saturday Night Live at his house- so literally the entire day.
I'm 31, nearly 32. I feel like I should get back out and start dating again. For a woman 'starting a family' gets tougher and tougher. Really though, I just want to hang out with my friend rather than going out on dates with people my co-workers/family think are great.
I've brought up dating with my guy friend once, and he wasn't interested. I sat down and thought about it, and decided that the friendship was more important to me than a relationship. So while I love him to bits, I'm not siting around waiting for him to 'come to his senses' or anything.
Still though, I wonder, is it bad to be comfortable? Will I regret this later? | I just want to hang out, and not go on dates. |
t3_xhy3h | AskReddit | My dad and I got in a fight about him having to take me to work cause I don't have a car, so I applied for a job on an Island with no cars and got it. I'm packing my bags and moving tomorrow. Whats the craziest thing you've ever done on a whim Reddit? | So here's the story, So a few months ago my parents decided to divorce and my mom moved out of the house to an apartment. That put me in a predicament to be able to get to work, much less to school with my dad's 5 day week work schedule. On Sunday I got in a fight with my dad about how he had to take me to work but it wasn't his responsibility. That night I decided to look up places to work that didn't need transportation and found this place, Mackinac Island, Michigan. I applied Sunday night and got the job today. I'm going there for 3-4 months to work till I can save up enough money to buy a car and finally be independent. So I'm packing my bags and I'm leaving Thursday! Never been so excited and so scared in my life. Oh yeah and I'm moving from Florida. | I'm moving from Florida to Mackinac Island, Michigan to be able to save up for a car on an Island that doesn't allow cars. |
t3_10ctfr | offmychest | Meet a girl who already has a boyfriend and odd situations leave me without a plan of action | A few days ago I met one of the most amazing girls I have had the pleasure of meeting in my short life (20m) and she already has a boyfriend. Here's where the "get off my chest" thing comes in. We met at a party where she didn't bring her bf and she and I were talking the whole night, we danced together for hours and after the party was over she asked if she wanted to go on a walk. By this point I knew she was already seeing someone but I didn't care (which later I thought made me a bad person but dammit I'm in love fools) so as we were walking we were passing a cemetery and she asked if we could sit on the bench on the side.
She spoke of life not being fair and how people are MEANT to meet, at the same time we have both been showing obvious affection for one another (gentle embraces, a soft kiss or two)
She had a "heavy talk" (all I know on the subject) with her bf and she asked to not contact each other for some undisclosed amount of time to let her sort out her feelings and the last thing I've said to her was to take all the time she needs and then more to make sure.
I don't know what I'm expecting to get from this but I know I feel better letting the community know of my actions.
I am a nervous wreck because I have little to no control over whether the girl of my dreams slips away forever. What do you think Reddit? | I met the girl of dreams, she said she was taken and yet we developed a chemistry that movies can't portray and now she's sorting her thoughts and feelings while I wait feeling powerless to help because I'm the reason she's so conflicted. |
t3_isa6z | AskReddit | Friend's girlfriend is indecisive, help me help him do the right thing. | So, a little back story. He has been with her for 2 years and 7 months (He repeatedly tells me this.) He is absolutely in love with her. Problem is, he lives here in the U.S. (to study) and she is back in Mexico. Lately, they have been having problems (been on and off). Today, she just broke up with him, stating that she didn't want to be with him any more. Her reasoning was that she saw a guy she likes and it got her thinking. She started thinking about how it would be easier to be with a guy in Mexico rather than having a long distance relationship. Later she tells him she doesn't want to lose him, and now she is back to not wanting to be with him. My buddy has always been there for her. He made a trip down to Mexico to see her, upon her request, even when they weren't together. He takes time out of his day (blows his boys off) to talk to her on the phone, etc. Anyways, I told him that he needs to move on. I told him it wouldn't be easy, but he needs to start to make a disconnect. Meaning stop calling her every moment he gets, stalking her FB page, and just trying to get her out of his mind. I don't know if I am giving him the right advice. I basically told him to back off and let her talk to you, is this good advice? What else should I tell him? Also, she manipulates the fights they get into, and she twists them to being his fault. She is basically causing him to suffer in school and generally putting him is a depressed state of mind which affects his friendship with me and the other guys. Help me tell him what to do. Thanks Reddit. Sorry about the bad grammar. | My friend's girlfriend is keeping him dangling on a string about wanting to be with him. What should he do? |
t3_1nhaba | relationships | I (21F) recently broke up with my partner (21M) and I don't really know how to move on. | So, I never really thought I'd be here. I've never had a relationship that messed me up as much as this one, or had a scenario where I couldn't bounce back quickly.
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I ended up falling fast and hard for a guy I met. It was incredibly unlike me, and though the relationship was short, I end up crying every day. I don't know how to get over him and move on, because I've never went through anything this difficult. I find myself constantly wanting to talk to him, and since we still want to remain friends, it's hard to get closure. I feel lost when I don't talk to him, since he used to be such a big part of my day. We were good friends before this, and I don't want to lose that, but I'm not really sure if the friends thing is doing me any favors. | Having an extremely hard time getting over a recently ended relationship and I don't know what to do with myself/my time to better move on and get closure. Thanks. |
t3_x78lf | AskReddit | Help me for science! Gummi bear jello shots. What drinks to use? | From what I have found at you can soak gummi bears in vodka for 3-5 days and they will swell up and be gelatinous like jello shots. Now, I want to incorporate that same idea with mixed drinks. I am taking a vacation to visit the in-laws and I plan on getting cupcake trays and putting a different mixed drink or hard liquor in each cup/bowl. This should let me try gummi bears for each flavor. One suggestion I am definitely trying will be cinnamon gummi bears and Goldschlager. What suggestions does Reddit have for mixed drinks! I will do a follow up with the results if people like the idea. Top comment drink I'll make especcially for Reddit, but please make it edible because I will still be with family members. | Making gummi bear vodka jello shots. What mixed drinks does Reddit suggest? Top comment mixed drink(if it be edible and suitable for around family members) will be made especcially for Reddit. |
t3_2p3bne | relationships | I [20M] don't know how to handle my girlfriend's [19F] thoughts about my career | In July of this year, I landed my first full time career job in IT for a multibillion dollar company. I went to a community college straight out of high school, finished my AS in 2 years, and managed to land an amazing job offer. I am very happy with the kickoff of my career, but my girlfriend however, has an odd view on it.
We've been dating for 8 months and have known each other for 5 years. She helped me prepare for the interview and was 100% supportive of me. I couldn't thank her anymore than helping me with my terrible speaking.
However, recently I was venting to her about how much I miss my old lifestyle. We're both gamers and I loved just staying up late and gaming until I passed out. I missed how much free time I had, and just told her to enjoy it while she has it. She responded saying how much she hates it because she's always depressed and going nowhere with her life, and to "enjoy my successful life" and stop complaining about not being able to game as much.
I was shocked that she expressed that to me. Before she'd bicker every now and then about her depression and doing nothing but I've always been able to talk her through it and try to motivate her to follow what she wants to do. However, I did not know how to respond to this. How could she say that and attempt to make me feel bad about my "success?"
She later asked if I was mad and I told her that I just didn't know how to respond because that's not the way she should talk to someone she truly loves. We haven't talked about it since, and things are normal.
That being said, I'm not sure if she's seeking a rise for attention or what, but that to me was far out of line. I know others don't get lucky, but I never put anyone beneath me just because I got my career started. What should I do, if anything? | My girlfriend is jealous of me for "being successful," and don't know what to do. |
t3_uja4p | AskReddit | My room mate has turned into a psychopathic tyrant now that we've signed a lease with him. Horrible room mate stories, anyone? | I met this dude in college, and we were both computer science majors so we had a lot of similar interests. He was totally chill, and he and his girlfriend were looking for room mates over the summer, when they boot us out of the dorms. "Perfect!" I thought, until we signed the lease and moved in. We'll call the guy Toast.
I am not allowed to park in the driveway, or the two-car garage, because Toast's girlfriend needs to fit her brand new Hummer into all that space. So I park in the road.
Dishes are piled up in the kitchen on every flat surface, liquids encrusted into pans and bowls. I once left a note on our kitchen whiteboard saying "Dude, please fix the kitchen. It's a disaster! D:" and he told me he'd slit my throat if I ever "dared do something so passive-aggressive in HIS house ever again". We pay the same for rent and utilities.
Essentially, Toast and his girlfriend have spread their shit over the entire house (The living room and dining room is full of their clothes, too), and I am confined to my tiny bedroom upstairs. They eat all our food, even though it's stored separately from theirs, and label all of their stuff "TOAST AND HERPINA'S DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH".
I'm getting out of this lease and getting the hell out by the end of June, thankfully. | I wanna hear your horrible room mate arrangement stories! What is it that changes people once they share a living space? |
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