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t3_3rgjaj | relationships | Update: My (31/F) younger sister (28/F) is emotionally abusive | Original here:
Sorry it's taken me so long to respond, I've been without power for about 12 hours thanks to a nasty storm that downed a couple of lines so I've only just now been able to get online.
Because of the power outage I wound up going to my parent's house because I know sister has a double shift today. I wasn't expecting either parent to be home so I was mostly thinking along the lines of 'no power sucks, parents are out of the black zone and I can snuggle cats, no contest'.
Turns out my Dad's music group has meetings on Wednesdays and he came home early, so we had a long and (on my part) rather weepy conversation about the whole mess, and Dad agrees that sister has been both pushing it way too far and been getting away with a lot of bad behaviour towards him and Mum that I didn't know about.
At this point things are looking like this: I'm going to go back to seeing my therapist more often as I'm obviously not coping as well as I was a few months ago, he's still going to be paying for my sessions, Dad is going to have a serious talk with Mum about her martyr complex (turns out ever since my autism was diagnosed she's been going around lamenting things like 'how did I not see' and 'I feel so guilty' instead of, you know, learning about it and how to make things easier for me) and going to push her into seeing another therapist at the same practice as mine, and sister is going to be only permitted to visit the family home for one day a month and only for the purposes of seeing her dog until her behaviour improves or she shows proof that she's started getting therapy herself.
So all in all it could be a lot worse, and I feel a lot better for getting it out of my system. | Had a long talk with my Dad who agrees things are beyond fucked up, Mum is going to be seeing a therapist with any luck and sister isn't going to be allowed back into the family home until she proves she's seeing a therapist herself. It's a start. |
t3_sxfe6 | AskReddit | My girlfriend is in danger of being fired for taking 'too many' sick days at work. No health insurance, and the free clinics are closed until the middle of next week. What can she do? (Bonus question included) | **Resolved**
Backstory: 20 year old girlfriend works minimum wage, hourly at a burger joint in San Diego. She just transferred to a different location about a few weeks ago. She got pretty sick (Seems to be the flu) and called for a sick day last week, worked a couple days in between, and again yesterday. Her supervisor doesn't like her very much, and hinted on that call that calling in sick so soon could be dangerous if she wants to keep her job.
And now to today. Girlfriend is bedridden, and nearly collapsed from exertion walking back from the bathroom from vomiting. She called in sick again, and her supervisor told her that she would need a doctor's note, or else she would be terminated. The problem is that she has no health insurance, and can't afford to go to a doctor to get a note. The only local free clinics we could find don't open until Tuesday, and the supervisor refused to take any other form of verification. Company policy is that no note is required for less than three consecutive days, but she's on at-will employment, and is probably going to be too sick to work tomorrow as well by the look of things.
Also, we have no way of getting her to work today. She drives manual, and I have no idea how to do that, and I'm not able to drive her out there and back tonight. | Girlfriend got sick, supervisor threatening to fire her without a note from a doctor, despite company policy. No insurance, and can't afford urgent care. Can't find a free clinic until Tuesday. Need advice. |
t3_baajr | AskReddit | How to fight my own cowardice | Hi reddit,
If I were to wright down some of my worst character traits - which I still didn't - cowardice would be the top one.
* I was bullied at school - but not at the university (and found lots of friends there) - mostly because I lacked confidence to fight back and since I am basically a non-violent person.
* I was failed to stand up for people a couple of times for fear of being caught in the fight.
* I restrained my love feelings for one girl for lack of confidence in myself, fear to face some personal issues.
Things have become better over the years. I gained a bit of confidence (but not enough), been into martial arts course which lends me some physical confidence. But whenever i face some physical/phychological challenge fear overwhelms me: facing off a bigger pal at the disco who hits on the girls I dance with or getting more physical (touching and kissing) with a girl I like or standing up for some cause.
Have you experienced that? What are the best ways to fight one own's cowardice. I heard that picking up some extreme sport (like snowbording) does add some confidence. What are some other, cheaper and more available ways to do that.
Thank you lots :) | I am a coward and lack self-confidence, things got better as I got older, but not enough. How to fight my own cowardice? |
t3_hsdwr | AskReddit | Is it true that good looking women can get into clubs without having their ID's checked? | I was told by a few male friends of mine that clubs/bars/anywhere else required ID will sometimes let under age girls in if they 1) look old enough to be 18 and 2) are substantially more attractive than the norm. I've always wanted to test this out, seeing how I'm only 16 but always being mistaken for 19+. I hate to sound conceited, but I'm not one of those girls who thinks the world is out to get her because she's fat and ugly. I know I'm not the best looking out there, but I'm not bad looking either. I do have a few concerns, such as:
consequences for getting caught?
just HOW hot would said girl have to be?
any places to avoid? | can hot girls get into clubs without having their ID checked |
t3_3dlvjl | relationships | Is me [27 F] dating a coworker [27 M] of one month unprofessional? | I've heard a lot that dating a coworker is considered unprofessional. Career is more important than a relationship for me, but I tend to get infatuated/obsessed/etc with coworkers, so my question is how bad for my professional reputation dating a coworker would be? The specific coworker I have in mind right now is a new guy who barely worked at the company for one month but I generally tend to fall for people I work with, so if you decide to give advice to me, please do not limit yourselves to this particular situation. I'm kinda a serial workplace romance person... The difference this time around is that I actually value this job.
Additional question for people who think it's unprofessional or not recommended to date a coworker, how should I deal with my feelings and is there a way to avoid having them or move on from them faster? Thanks! | Tend to develop crushes on coworkers; with my career in mind, should I act on my romantic feelings or not? |
t3_50msdc | relationships | I [M] 28 am falling for my [F] 22 friend but I will only be able to tell her over the phone in the next 2 days | I [M] 22 am an ex con working at a place full of ex cons. Recently a [F] 22 started working there and I think I have fallen for her. I tend to avoid getting close to these women because they usually come with strings I do not want. This woman seems to be seriously wanting to turn her life around like me and we connected.
She calls me for at least an hour every day and I feel so happy when we talk. When we talk its always about us and she never mentions other men and indicates how shes alone on the weekends. Due to restrictions related to the felon thing I can't see her outside of work until november.
I get the feeling there is someone close to home though that can see her now in person so I have to make my move before Saturday. I cant tell her this stuff in person so I will not have body language to help me. I also value her as a friend but would rather end it tonight than wonder what could have been.
What are some words and thoughts I can use to tell her over the phone tonight?
I'd rather lose her friendship tonight than love her and not be able to hold her later.
(Before anyone comments on 2 felons being a bad idea, please dont. Prison breaks a person at least a little and its hard to have relationships with people who havent been) | I must tell a woman I am falling for her tonight and can't do it in person due to circumstances. I would like to preserve the friendship but I'd rather lose her than love her and not have her. How should I conduct the conversation? |
t3_cynha | AskReddit | I wish that I had pictures to show you. | There was this old abandoned house near my home here in northern Illinois.
Friends and I would go up there at night and scare the crap out of ourselves by just walking around. One night we heard another group of kids coming in to the house and we all hid in the basement making small scratching noises every time they got quite.
Never have I heard people scream so loud and run so fast.
It was a weird house with two kitchens and two basements.
It appeared that the family literally just walked out the door one day, leaving everything behind. Including clothes still in the washer.
I went by one day and spent an hour going through boxes, I found some returned checks with names on them.
The mystery was eating me up, I needed to know why the just left. I did some research and found a phone number, but it had some privacy blocker. I never did find out.
I developed an elaborate story behind it, including murder and a mother who came back to burn the house down.
Months later the house burned to the ground. It was creepy and sad.
I miss you "House on Gilmer".
Tell me any similar stories, reddit. I love this stuff. | Creepy old abandoned house burned down, had cool adventures there, similar stories? |
t3_29pnxj | relationships | Me [22 F] with my BF [22 M] 2.5 years, his friends think I kept him from them | Recently ran into a friend and she told me she had been at a party with some of my boyfriend's friends. She recognized one, but wasn't sure if that's how she knew him so she mentioned me. They said "Oh yeah, [BF] never hangs out with us because of her." That's all they could say about me. She was kind of taken aback because I have always made a point to not let my relationship affect MY friendships and she knew I wasn't the type to keep my boyfriend from his friends.
I don't think he has actively blamed me for bailing on them, but still has kind of made me the bad guy in this situation. He's a pretty introverted person and would rather stay in than go out partying. Before we were dating, if he didn't really want to hang out with them, he'd make some excuse (tired, homework, etc.) and stay home. Now, when he doesn't want to go out, he'll want to cuddle and watch a movie with me so he'll tell them, "Sorry, I'm hanging out with my girlfriend." I don't think he'd ever made it seem as though I'm MAKING him not go out with his friends or anything, but after hearing no enough, I wouldn't blame them for not being a fan of mine.
I should also note, these weren't his CLOSEST friends. He hasn't dropped his social life for me - he still hangs out with his close friends.
It just bothers me that his actions made his friends dislike me without even knowing me. I don't need to be friends with his friends, but it'd be nice for them to at least have a positive opinion of our relationship. What makes me mad about it is that I always pushed him to spend time with friends when I noticed he hadn't in a while. I was doing exactly the opposite of what they think I was doing! At this point, though, we've graduated so there's no way to fix this. He probably won't see these friends again. Do I need to do something to make this not happen with his other friends (I'm not sure if his other friends share the sentiment)? | BF chose me over his friends, they think I kept him from them. |
t3_25uwnd | relationships | Me [24M] with my girlfriend [23F] of 8 months, She suddenly seems uncomfortable with any long-term plans. | Not sure where to begin.
My girlfriend of 8 months has been on exchange in Korea whilst I've been studying in Japan over tge last 2 months or so. We met in Japan (she's Japanese) and we really hit it off. She met with me frequently, helped me through the Japanese hospital system, took me to meet her friends and even her parents and grandparents. It was incredible and we were totally in sync with one another.
during Christmas, she came and met my family in Australia and as best I could I took care of her as she did for me in Japan. Things continued going well, and we made plans to rent an apartment together in Japan, knowing she would have to leave in 2 months for exchange in Korea. We moved in together and became even closer. in that 2 month span we also travelled in Japan together and even went to hawaii.
She said just before leaving for Korea, that she wanted to move to Australia with me after her exchange. Every 2-3 weeks we arranged to see each other on weekends. Even as I write this, we are holidaying in the Philippines together.
Suddenly though, she became more distant and less enthusiastic for our relationship. Sex also dried up. I confronted her after a month of effectively being stonewalled. She tearfully confided in me that she was having second thoughts about moving to Australia, that she wasn't sure what she wanted yet and that she was having trouble being intimate with me both emotionally and physically. She reassured me she still loves me, and to give her time. She also said however, that she's unsure if she will come to Australia at all - which will probably be the end of us.
I guess my question is, how do I react to this? I've fallen head over heels for this girl and now feel totally powerless. I also have way too much spare time in Japan and dwell on this predicament far more than is healthy. I just want closure, but don't want to force her into making a premature choice. Reddit, what can I do? | GF is suddenly unsure of a future with me and wants time. Not sure how to react. I'm afraid I'll lose her... |
t3_2swq47 | relationships | My mum [50 F] told me [17 M] she doesn't want to take | Hi. I've never cried for longer then 3 minutes, but today I'm crying for one hour straight. Finally I gathered strength to post this. Sorry if there rate any typos or if I accidentally violated any subreddit rules.
So, my mother and I have always had a good relationship. She raised me well. Im polite (I think) and I'm going to a good gymnasium and have almost straight A's (for you that don't know, gymnasium is like a 'hard' high school in Europe)
Last week we had few small fights. You know, the regular ones I've had with her since forever, which I think everybody has. But last week there were more than usual. Then yesterday, we had an 'bigger argument'. I accidentally put my backpack on the floor while we were on a morning coffee in a coffee shop. She yelled a bit, because she washed the backpack few days ago. I said that there wasn't space anywhere and that I don't need to know where to put it. Then I apologized and placed the backpack on my chair.
You can see how good our relationship was when this was an 'bigger argument'. But,that was the breaking point.
When I got home she spoke to me, but I could feel she was quieter than usual. But I thought that wasn't a big deal.
This morning, it's my birthday. When I woke up she was in the kitchen. And she said "Dear son, i didn't get you anything for your birthday. I got you freedom, cause I know you want it". She also said she doesn't want to take care of me anymore. She didn't mean on regular stuff, food and similar. But what am I to do? She also said that if I said anything to anyone she will go away from home. I know her, this is what she will do, she is determined as hell.
And that is how I spent my birthday morning crying with the worst birthday gift ever. What to do? | What should I do? |
t3_1cc9eh | legaladvice | Can my employer do this? | I work at a Victoria's Secret retail store and have worked there for quite some time. I first started in a bigger store in my hometown and worked part time getting plenty of hours. But then I moved to a smaller town to go to my university for the year and needed a job so I found another VS store to work at which is much smaller than the first store I worked at. I didn't get as many hours as i did in the bigger store but I knew it was because of the size of the store (I work as sales support so I do shipment, so the smaller the store, the less shipment therefore less work). Since I started, the hours were significantly lower and they told me they would pick up which they have, then recently they shot back down drastically. In three weeks time, I only acquired 10 hours of work. I have 40 hours a week of availability and have only worked 10 hours in 3 weeks. Is this illegal in any way? I feel like they can't do that but I need true legal advice. Now I know what some will say. "why don't you try simply asking for more hours?". I would if I could. See, at the larger stores they have shipment shifts and replenishing shifts. But this store is so small that sales support only does shipment. They don't need or have the payroll for replenishing shifts. So I can't really ask for more hours because my hours depend on the amount of shipment we receive. I can't say "hey, can we get more shipment so I can work more?". I'd appreciate any legal advice or any type of advice actually. Thank you. | My hours were cut drastically at work. I have 40 hours of availability a week and will have worked only 10 hours in 3 weeks. Is this legal? |
t3_3n1846 | personalfinance | Should I (22M) get a car? | So I'm 22, in college part-time and working around 25 hours a week as a server. I make anywhere between $1000 - $1500 a month depending on tips. Luckily my only expenses are rent, $560 /month, food, $500-$600 /month. So by the end of the month there really isn't much leftover and what ever is I try and save to use for tuition/school. I know I can lower my food costs by maybe $100. So I am just wondering if it would be worth getting a car in my situation.
I work at a restaurant , but I have been looking for a different job hoping to make more money and not work overnight shifts. I stuck with overnights because I have pretty much free access to my girlfriend's or roommate's car to use for work. So if I get a different job it will be harder to get to work. I hope a new job would mean more money but honestly I am not sure. | Has anyone been in a situation where they bought a car in hopes of a better job (server)? Was it worth it? Did you end up making more money even after the car payments? |
t3_1fi9d1 | relationships | My girlfriend (19) is 3 days late. We (also 19m) both know we can't care for the child. Can anyone offer some advice? | Was directed here by the fine people at /r/askwomen[1] .
Throwaway.
We're both 19 years old and she's 3 days late, and we're both freaking out. We've been dating for maybe 7 months now, she's been living here for the past 2 or 3. I don't really have exact numbers.
She's not on birth control and we try our best to use condoms, but sometimes things happen (specifically a slipped condom post-coitus). We've been saving up for depo provera for a while.
She can't bring herself to abort. We definitely can't take care of the child (we're living on our own out of pocket, neither of us can seem to hold a job). And we know once we have the kid we won't be able to give it away.
The worst part is she refuses to talk to someone about it. She's afraid of the stigma so she won't talk to friends or family, she refuses to talk to any doctor but her own (by that I mean her mother's- and her mother has to be present opening up a whole other oddly specific can of worms), and she definitely won't talk to you fine folks of Reddit. I really don't know how to talk to her about this- we're both absolutely unprepared for this. Worse yet, if it turns out she isn't pregnant all this stressing about it (along with bills and the like) isn't going to make her period come any sooner.
She's pretty stubborn about this sort of thing, but I'm afraid pulling her out of her comfort zone will just make things worse- especially if we're just worrying over nothing.
She's being stubborn and refusing to take a pregnancy test until she's a week yet, but I've resolved to buy pregnancy tests to make that choice easier on her. | possibly pregnant girlfriend is being stubborn. I'm not really sure how to talk to her about it |
t3_4exqdd | personalfinance | first time homebuyer trying to understand his options incl. stocks, taxes, etc | Hi all,
This is kind of a multi-purpose thread, and since I'm sure that the most common (and probably best) response is going to be "you should really talk to a professional" - my first question is really which kind of professional I should be looking for. (i.e., is this something H&R Block could help with or should I find a tax attorney or a private citizen who is a tax preparer/CPA?)
Situation is as such; I'm a sole earner making about $135k but living in a very expensive area of the country (the low end of homes that are in move-in condition start in the $400k range) I have about $40k saved for an emergency fund and to go toward a down payment, and continue to squirrel away more each month. We're renting, but with a second child on the way, hoping to find a suitable home to purchase and settle in.
The real enabler here is that I have (depending on the day's stock price) about $200-$250K worth of founder stock in a single security that was gifted to me at a $0 cost basis. This could obviously help tremendously with making a 20% down payment. I don't have any other investments outside of my standard 401K plan, so I'm not super familiar with tax implications of investments, but I know this is significantly less than $200K in pocket, if I'm paying capital gains on 100% of it upon sale. I've been trying to understand capital gains and AMT and all that, and looking into whether any of that might be offset if the sale of stock goes toward funding a down payment on a first house purchase. (I know there's a similar provision for withdrawing from 401K.) Or... if I'm better off selling little bits off at a time and putting less down on the house, etc. | I think I'm doing reasonably okay and have some great options available to me, but particularly in an area of the country that is unreasonably expensive to begin with, I still need to know that I'm maximizing the potential I have and not throwing money away to avoidable taxes/fees. And investments/stock sales are confusing. |
t3_11hcvy | dating_advice | [M33] her [f28] one date, shes we hit it off but she is freaked out about a medical condition i have. | All kidding aside, i had liver failure about 9 months ago, doing ok now, but need a transplant, and i'm on the to do list. Meant a really nice gal online, we hit it off great, good chemistry etc, but shes scared to date me in case something goes wrong, and yeah i know that's possible but nothing is a safe bet is basically the way i look at it, to me it would be a non issue. She also does not like the fact that im on antidepresents, and again don't think that has anything to do with anything. Anyhow, i know she really likes me but is scared, i've continued to lightly stay after her, and she does respond - shes just genuinely freaked out by this. | I have a medical condition which may require a major operation, good chemistry, shes freaked out by the fact i may die |
t3_1jbwin | relationships | I [30/M] just got dumped by [29/F] after one month :( | I (30/m) met this amazing girl online (29/m) exactly one month ago. We hit it off well and went on some amazing dates and even reached a level of intimacy.
But then a few days ago we had a conversation about future goals and it turns out we had different goals in mind as it relates to marriage and children someday.
I had a feeling that this was going to end soon and so we chatted on the phone and felt it was best to go our separate ways.
I know it has only been a month but my heart aches right now as I really liked this one and the prospect of a future love seemed promising. We got along really well but I figured there would never be a compromise on marriage/kids (you're either in or out) and that there was no point in making things worse down the line.
I guess the reason why I'm bummed out more than most people in my situation is that it's hard for me to meet women. Previous to her I hadn't even gone on a date in 8 months so the prospect of being single for another 8 months is really daunting.
Any tips or advice would be appreciated to get through the next several days/weeks. | Broken up after one month when we discovered we had different long-term plans. |
t3_32eu36 | self | Today was my birthday | And it actually turned out really good!
I didn't want to celebrate it this year because I felt like there was nothing to celebrate and I feel like my life is a desert hole. I turned 24 today and still have no job, even with my degree. I've just been feeling like a failure.
But today was really unexpected and great! Yesterday my cousin drove up to hang out and we bar hopped from 2pm- 8pm, then walked over to my sister's place to hang out with some beers. My parents picked us up around 9 to go back downtown for a nice dinner
This morning my cousin, parents and I went to this touristy breakfast place of my town that I haven't been to in years. It was great, the food took forever but the wait wasn't too bad.
Then my cousin and I went back downtown for margaritas, my sister joined us and we ended up driving to a few friend's places. We blasted music and got air when we sped along a huge dip in the road! (My cousin was driving and no he wasn't drunk, my sister and I were the only ones drinking the margaritas)
Then when we finally got home my entire close family (I'm the youngest of 5) was there, with my nieces and nephews. My brother got my a drone and we had a blast playing with that. Then we all had a great meal and an amazing peanut butter cake, that my cousin and I had prepared earlier.
( | ) It was just a great birthday. I wasn't expecting it to be one at all. |
t3_121sde | relationships | In love with married friend (29m) but still in relationship with my boyfriend (28m) of 2 years. How to tell either of them? | So I've known my friend ever since I was in high school, I'm 23(f) now. He and I have always been good friends. I had a small crush on him since I was a teenager, not really making an effort because he had his girlfriend (now wife, 28f). I never felt any jealousy towards her, she's a kind person and has become a friend of mine. I respect her a lot.
Its wasn't til a couple years ago that I have noticed my feelings for my friend (29m). I feel like we can open up to each other, tell secrets we would not tell our SO's. He's always there when I need someone, even rescued me from some crazy situations as I have to him.
I feel like I have a real strong love for him. Which is proving to be a problem lately with my boyfriend (28m) of 2 years. My boyfriend is "head over heels" for me, but I can't return that love to him. I try but I feel like I'm faking my love towards him, because I love my friend. Its a crisis that I feel should have been done with once my friend (29m) got engaged (which he told me first before proposing) then married! I know I'm keeping a secret from my boyfriend that I shouldn't. He wants to know why I'm depressed lately and why I don't tell him everything.
It doesn't help that recently I've been having trust issues with my boyfriend... Then my friend spills out his complications with his wife and how he might cheat on her.
I really don't know what to do.
Is this just a school girl crush that I can't get rid of? Do I help my friend out with his relationship, like I always have. Or just tell them everything and probably ruin every relationship I have? | My secret crush.. Should I tell him my feelings? (feel like a stupid school girl) |
t3_4kbyhj | dating_advice | First date ideas for Highschoolers? | Hi, I want to ask out a girl on a first date but I have no clue where. We've already been talking at school a lot and I wanted to move the relationship forward. Though, I asked her if she wanted to go get lunch and she said that she doesn't like eating in front of other people (This is what she said and I respect it, it could've been a diversion but i really doubt it). So after she said that, I have no freaking idea where to go because I was planning to go out to eat with her. Ideas? | First date ideas for highschoolers, minus food |
t3_2th88r | relationships | Me [20 M] has a crush on [20 F] who I've reconnected with, but very long distance | I recently reconnected with an old friend I'd known for a few years who lives in Scotland, while I am living in Canada currently. I didn't expect us to chat more than thirty minutes, it was more of update, how's your life been type of deal.
Surprisingly, we've been talking a lot recently, via text because of the cost of international calls but you get the picture. Sometimes a few hours a day, and shared some pretty personal stuff it hasn't been all superficial talk.
Unfortunately, I've developed a bit of a crush on her, and I can't seem to shake it. I've told her how I feel because I don't want to keep this totally bottled up, or for me to have anger towards her. That helped bring me a bit of peace, and it hasn't hurt our friendship. She took it really well, was flattered, told me I was brave for sharing it, and shared some feelings about the distance stopping us from really exploring this further.
I enjoy talking to her, and would like to continue to do so, but I'm worried it might be eating up too much time, and hurting me emotionally. I'd really like an outside perspective on this, as I feel I'm not thinking 100% straight. I can share any details that I've forgotten to include, as long as their relevant to the discussion of course. | Reconnected with internet friend living in another country, dating is pretty much impossible, but I've developed a crush on her. Is there anyway for me to maintain this relationship without it getting unhealthy for either of us? |
t3_1378ac | loseit | Is skipping meals an option? | I know, I know, I shouldn't skip meals. The thing is, with my job a have a ton of dinner meetings and dinner functions that I have to attend. I also have a busy work schedule, so while I do cook and eat throughout the day when I can, this is not always an option.
I'm a relatively short female (5'4''), and I currently weigh about 140. I'm trying to get down to about 120, and because of my height I'm recommended to eat about 1,200 calories a day, which isn't many when I'm eating out all the time.
Other things about my eating habits are that I do not eat breakfast—unless I have a breakfast meeting) and I tend to snack at night, but I make sure I have things like apples, celery, low-cal bread, and so on. | Is it better to stay within my calorie limit and not eat a lunch than to eat all day and maybe go over? |
t3_effag | AskReddit | How do I best describe the Insane Clown Posse to someone? | I was at the bar with a few friends of mine tonight, and I was talking to one of them about the latest ICP madness. Then another friend of mine asked what the Insane Clown Posse was. To give a little background, she is some what pop culture illiterate, but a good enough sport. My friends and I just chanted "fucking magnets" at her, and she was really confused. I want to try and explain to her what the ICP and Juggalos are, and why the internet loves to make fun of them. I really want to impart on her the magnitude of the crazy culture that they have built up, but don't want to come off as crazy myself when I explain the whole thing. Any advice? I'm looking for something beyond just showing her the video for Miracles. | How do I explain to someone just how crazy the whole ICP thing is? |
t3_ckay7 | AskReddit | What do you wish someone had told you before you started your career? | I'll be starting my first job out of college in a few weeks. The job is exactly what I have dreamed of doing, which is a combination of engineering and sales.
I'll be moving across the country to a city where I'll have one friend from university, but I'll be rooming with another person who I found through my company.
That said, I want to make a successful career out of this opportunity. Here's what I've done so far to get myself ready for the job:
Read:
The Prince
How To Win Friends And Influence People
Think and Grow Rich
SPIN Selling
Reading:
Psycho-Cybernetics
I am also in the process of transitioning from a college to work day schedule...
I'll be moving into my apartment a week early to get things situated before I start work.
I'm fairly comfortable that I'll be able to make friends, but I'm looking for some workplace advice and perhaps general lifestyle advice. I am open to any advice that the reddit collective intelligence has to offer though.
So what do you wish someone had told you before you started working? | starting career - advice? |
t3_2gwc13 | relationships | Me [25/f] dating [26/m] for a few weeks - is it a red flag that he intentionally bruises me when we are fooling around? | I've been dating a guy I like for a few weeks now, and though he's nice I am a bit concerned with his behavior in the bedroom. We haven't had sex yet but have done a lot of other things with each other. When we mess around, he squeezes me very hard intentionally and likes to leave bruises and bitemarks on me. I know its international because the next day he'll ask how many bruises I have. The last time I was with him he left a massive bruise on my arm that was noticeable for two weeks. I've had to let him know when he was being too rough but he still continues. He's nice otherwise but is this behavior a warning sign? | Guy I'm dating gets off on bruising me when we fool around should I be concerned? |
t3_jqhca | AskReddit | I have some unidentifiable ilness and its keeping me from moving on in my life, what do i do? | i will elaborate further on the illness if necessary...but for this question its not exactly needed. Essentially im sick with some sort of mystery illness which is messing with my body in such a way its effecting my mind...it keeps me from getting a job because of the physical and mental symptoms. That in turn is keeping me from going to school or moving out of my parents house, im 25 and i hate having to live here (for many reasons) but the larger of them being i dont like that my parents pay for everything for me, im old enough to be on my own and taking care of myself, but as i said i cant get a job while i feel like this...ive been to doctor after doctor but the problem is with no money, no job, im having to rely on county medical insurance which keeps me from having a set doctor, thus no progress is ever made....im going nowhere really fuckin fast, i cant enjoy much of anything anymore, hanging with friends, going out with the family, i cant work, i cant play, i cant even get drunk without amplifying the symptoms to almost unbearable levels at times....its ruining my life and im getting nowhere withing the medical establishment, and im even getting the impression from family and friends that they dont believe me since they cant notice any of my symptoms...most jump to depression or anxiety or some other mental illness, and while im not totally excluding the possibility at this point, i severly doubt its the case, these are physical symptoms, something is happening to me physically, and while anxiety and depression are present now, i would say its because of the sistuation im in, and not the cause....im completely stuck and dont know what to do, any advice would be much appreciated... | Im sick with mystery illness, becuase of symptoms i cant get a job, which means i cant pay from proper medical investigation, im 25yo and stuck at home because i cant get a job, im going nowhere really fast and i have no way out. what do i do? D: |
t3_3ewpg2 | tifu | TIFU by skipping out on work | So, I ignored my alarm this morning and woke up at 6:45 am, while I needed to be at work at 7:00 am. I live 35 minutes away. I decide I'm better off taking a sick day than being written up for being late. That's fine for me; play some League, enjoy a movie, relax for the day.
I messaged by boss to let him know I wouldn't be in due a stomach bug that was really tearing up my stomach. I felt fine, but what he doesn't know won't hurt, right?
Apparently, karma had a different plan. As I was loading into a game of League, I had a rumbling in my stomach. It felt like normal gastric distress, like some harmless flatulence, so I trusted it.
I let loose what I thought was just a fart, and all the sudden I feel this warmth. I knew immediately what I had done. I had shit my pants for the first time since I was a child. All because I trusted a fart. | Overslept, called in sick (actually felt fine), soiled myself trusting a fart. Karma is a bitch. |
t3_1refo1 | relationships | Exclusivity but not dating? (18F) | I'm a freshman and I've been hookup buddies (no sex) with a sophomore guy.
The furthest we've gone is him fingering me. Last night he really wanted me to give him a hand job (I've never before and didn't want to). I felt like he was pushing it and told him and then he stopped pressuring me (I never ended up giving him one). I said "if you really want it then you can find someone else" and he said "I don't want someone else...I want you..."
What does this mean? He wants exclusivity? Or was he just using this as a way to get me to give it to him? He hasn't asked me out. If he wants exclusivity but hasn't asked me to be his gf, then is he a commitment-phone? | I've been hookup buddies with this guy and he seemed desperate for a hand job but idk if he actually likes me or is just a horny college kid |
t3_4mt48k | tifu | TIFU by going to the bathroom before a concert | This happened a couple days ago.
So I'm at my 4th grade brother's band concert, which is being held at my high school. Before I went in, I decided to go to to the bathroom. I go down the hallway to the bathroom we were supposed to use (the rest of the school
was closed off for cleaning), and I see about 15 4th grade boys standing outside the bathroom, my brother included. Apparently the door was locked because the janitors forgot to open it for the concert.
So I go up to my brother and whisper "I know where another bathroom is," because I go to this school and I know my way around. I intended to take just him over to the bathroom, so that he isn't late for his concert.
However, being the 4th grader he is, he shouts "GUYS, THERES ANOTHER BATHROOM!!"
I end up leading an army of running, screaming 4th grade boys down the empty hallway that is being cleaned by the janitor.
As we are leaving the bathroom, the janitor walks in and starts yelling at me. | I was at a concert, and had to go to the bathroom, I end up leading an army of 4th grade boys down a hallway I'm not supposed to be on. |
t3_bb7tl | AskReddit | Why are White Women so Racist? | Several years ago, the excellent New York Times columnist John Tierney [wrote a post] called *Single Female Seeking* **Same-Race** *Male*. It detailed scientific studies concluding that White Men did *not* discriminate on the basis of race in their dating lives, but that White Women *did* discriminate - quite a bit.
Then a few months ago, a blog, written by a white women *who is married to a non-white person*, [recounted] startling (at least to me) data that this racism evidently carries over from dating life to married life.
To wit: again, while White Men were *not* any more likely to be divorced if they were married to a non-white woman, White Women **are far more likely to divorce a minority husband** than they are to divorce a white husband. | white women typically don't date non-whites (statistically, white men don't care about a woman's race), and if white women do marry non-whites, they are far more likely to divorce their non-white husband, than a white man who married a non-white wife. |
t3_4byapl | relationships | How do I(24F) properly tell my boyfriend(23M) that I'm not okay with him policing my body? | Hey, folks! I could use a bit of advice.
Long story short, my significant other doesn't like when I wear low-cut shirts or show any bit of my cleavage. He's worried about 'other guys looking'. I understand that he's bothered by this, and I'm trying to find a good way to explain to him that I don't much care for his policing of my body and what I decide to wear. I've pretty much told him that if he has a problem with other people staring, he can go take it up with them. He's also disappointed that I'm not trying to prevent other men's behavior by covering up. (Ew.) I'm all for the, 'teach men not to stare' approach instead of having to dance around them. He's even gone as far as to reach over and pull up my shirt in public, and this makes me feel really uncomfortable.
He's not a bad person, just a bit insecure. Any one have any advice or idea as to how I can explain how none of what he's acting on is okay? I'm looking for healthy ways to properly communicate and help him understand.
(And, just to clarify, I choose to wear clothing that makes me feel comfortable and confident. My choices have nothing to do with random guys and people I've never met. ) | My boyfriend does not like how I present myself and I'm trying to find ways to communicate that it makes me uncomfortable. |
t3_1mmmxg | relationships | My boyfriend [34] is withdrawing from me [23] because of stress at work. Best way to give him space? | My boyfriend is a TV producer which in turn is tons of stress on his life and our relationship. Sometimes his job is just hell. It makes him pull back from me, which I can deal with just fine. I know he needs space but I'm not sure how to give it to him. I need him to know I care and support him, but I also don't want him to feel like an object of pity. ie; I say, "I'm so sorry you're stressed out". He doesn't like that at all.....
Tonight I called and asked to drop by and say hello. I agreed for me to come over. Once I got there it just went down hill. He had a bad day with his client today. I just want to hug him and let him know I'm here for him. I think that's overwhelming to him.
He feels like he can't be a good boyfriend to me in high stress times like this. I'm seriously ok to deal with it. It just worries me when he questions our relationship because he feels in-adequate :( | Need help in giving space in a careful/special way. |
t3_31pty6 | Advice | Should I talk to someone I haven't spoken to in about 10 years? | Alright so I remember having my first real friend, we'll call him 'John Cena', we met in 3rd grade and quickly became best friends, hanging out after school and me spending the night at his house. The only friend I can remember where my parents would let me over to his house. His mother was a teacher so I often stayed after school with them on Fridays and go home with them to spend the weekend there and hang out and play Xbox.
We spent so much time together and until the past few years he was my one true friend (I now have a friend circle full of great people). We were friends from 3rd grade to 5th, when he moved away to the other end of the state. We stayed in contact a little over email but eventually lost contact and grew apart.
You know how when you lose friends, for whatever reason, and then some time later you think about your life and your mind stumbles upon them and you can't help but think about the good times, and you go "...oh..." and you miss them? That's what's happening to me recently.
So, anyway, I decided to search "John Cena"'s name on facebook and see if he had one for the hell of it. I found it. I got really nostalgic and solemn and wanted to message him. One problem though.
See, I'm transgender. I only recently figured myself out and now go by chosen name with my friends and on my personal facebook. 'John Cena' knew me by my birthname.
What should I do? What would I say? | best friend from childhood (3rd to fifth grade) moved away after 5th grade and we grew apart. Recently found his facebook and wanted to message him. One Problem: I'm transgender and don't go by my birthname anymore. What do? |
t3_1l244p | dating_advice | Is this weird? Or am I totally clueless? | Long story short, I haven't dated or tried to date anyone in two years. The last one was a bust, and I figured that I needed to work on myself before I started to date again.
Anyways, a guy sent me a message on OKC, and really, he was funny, good looking, charming, and I was in laughs. We talked through OKC for at least three days (Maybe four? I have to go check), about the most random stuff you can come up with, it seemed easy to chat this guy up and we shared a many interest and theories about subjects that I've always wanted to talk to someone about.
So, he gave me his number, and we continued on with the texting from there, him calling me adorable, asking why I haven't been in a relationship, usual flirty texts. So, I threw caution into the wind and asked if we could get coffee sometimes. Now, I'm a busy person, so I totally understand if someone else is busy as well, and he cancels because of work overload.
I figure that's alright, it's fine, and I ask that he schedule since he'll know if he has a busy workload or not, my job is a lot easier, so I can plan, plus I'm hardly ever tired after work and I still have a lot of energy and I'm raring to go.
It's been two weeks. Nothing. At. All. This guy even so much says that I don't need to see him or he doesn't need to see me to know that he wants me to be his girl. And he asked. Like.. really? I don't get it at all. I really, really don't. I'm under the impression that hanging out with someone to know their nuances in person is something that's important in the whole dating deal, instead of just jumping into a serious, there's still a lot that I don't know about this guy yet.
Any advice? | Meet guy on OKC, conversation is pretty awesome, but doesn't set a date and immediately asks to be bf/gf without ever meeting. WTF? |
t3_2ocwcu | relationships | I think I've lost my attractive qualities? 21/F | I have had a few relationships before and they were all great and special until i put on weight. I have started dating again in the past year but it hasn't been the same after putting on 20kgs. I feel like I am being used and under appreciated and can't shake the feeling that it is because of the extra weight that I have put on.
I have had two boyfriends this year and neither of them showed me any affection in public and rarely at home which i'm not used to. It seems like the only way that I will ever be happy in a relationship again is if I lose the weight and I really don't want to do that because I am the healthiest I have ever been.
I don't have a job, at 21, which I feel is also a problem, but I do have a license and car and have absolutely no idea of how to meet new people. My confidence is completely wrecked and I feel so alone, if anyone has any ideas on how I can meet new potential matches that would be great ( I live in Australia ).
Am I crazy to think this or have I just been meeting the wrong kind of people lately? | Has extra weight put me out of the game? |
t3_1ja1k1 | Advice | First time poster - just got fired but have options. Need some advice! | I'm gonna preface the story with some background info: I work in a small café Inside of an office building. The cafe is mainly for the tenants. I've been there since last December and today was my "last day in the kitchen". The staff includes me (kitchen guy), a day porter, and the building manager\my boss. We have another kitchen staff lady that works mon/wed/fri. I'm there everyday in the morning at 5:30.
This morning when I walked in there was a puddle on the floor near the freezer, which is when I noticed the freezer door was slightly ajar. All of the contents in the freezer were slightly thawed and so since most of the contents in there were cooked I assumed it would be fine if I just shut the freezer and let the stuff re-freeze.
I knew it wasnt good, but I didn't think it was a big enough deal to bother my boss about. What I didn't realize is that my mistake would've been very bad for my boss if anyone had consumed the food cause people would've gotten sick.
My boss gave me an ultimatum: either quit, get fired, or switch jobs with the day porter where I would make the same wage but with 30hr/week instead of 40. The problem is I need money and I've been pretty unhappy there since I've been there and don't really want to go back. This happened maybe 15 min ago and I was sent home to think about what I want to do. Help please reddit? | I had my last strike in the kitchen; got a choice to quit or switch jobs for less hours, but have been unhappy there and want to leave. |
t3_1gtp14 | relationships | Girlfriend of over 2 years [16/F] has secret attraction to one of my [16/M] best friends. | I know that reddit doesn't tend to take well to teenagers normally, so I'm expecting downvotes for that alone, but any feedback would be nice.
What's happening is this: I started dating my girlfriend over 2 years ago and over the 2+ years it's been absolutely great.
Recently though, I've realized that she's been flirting with one of our mutual friends quite a bit and always seems to want to turn our normal 2 people dates into 3 person affairs. A quick chat with one of my friends confirms that she is attracted to him and has been for about 6 months now.
From what I'd gathered from asking around, she doesn't seem like she enjoys being attracted to this mutual friend, and she still acts the same around me as she has for the 2 years so I doubt there is any loss of attraction coming my way (i.e, still plenty of flirting, kissing, and spending time with each other).
I also don't think our mutual friend would do anything since he's generally pretty socially awkward, doesn't know the first thing about the opposite sex, and I would like to think that he wouldn't do anything to hurt one of his only real friends (me).
My girlfriend is currently on vacation and will be coming back mid of next week when I plan on confronting her about this. Mainly, I'm not sure how I should go about talking to her about this in such a way that it doesn't come off as me being a jackass of a boyfriend or make it seem like I want her to cut every time with this guy for the rest of her life.
My plan for right now is to ask if she does have any sort of feelings for him, and play it off like I managed to deduce she did (which isn't far from the truth, I was starting to get suspicious before I even found out for sure).
Any advice from you guys would be greatly appreciated! | Girlfriend of 2+ years has a thing for a mutual friend. Not sure how to confront her with my knowing when she comes back from vacation. |
t3_2tokqz | relationship_advice | (21F) Help, I'm confused and frustrated agh | Two years ago, this guy (20) and I seemingly hit it off. We'd spend hours (like more than 5 each time) talking, late into the night, and I developed a giant crush on him. I told him, and his response was "I'd rather just be friends right now." I let him be, and we had a good, although slightly awkward friendship for the next year.
Fast forward to now. He spent last semester abroad, and now he's back. We spent 3 hours talking last night and the night ended with me curled up next to him on the couch, half asleep, and him half asleep as well. He left to "let me sleep." We talked about really personal and intense stuff, and I'm starting to fall for him again. I'm typically really good at reading people, and I'm reading that he's interested in me, but that happened last time when he wasn't. I'm really just confused and frustrated. 1) what do you think is going on? and 2) what should I do? | I'm getting mixed signals from a dude and have no idea what to do. |
t3_10pyaz | relationships | I (M/22) seem to be having troubles emoting to my fiancée (F/22), its tearing us apart. | So to start off my fiancée (f22) and I (m22) have been together for a little under a year. I know it seems to be like we are moving fast and I feel that way sometimes too, I just can't imagine a life without her in it. She's my best friend and the woman of my dreams. This woman is truly amazing, even writing this I can't help but smile. We moved in together a little over 3 months ago and it has been working great. We clean the house together, cook together, really dont argue about trivial things like that. Although recently it seems she has been really upset with me, being that she feels I don't emote well. I can't argue this, my whole life I have been taught to bottle things up and deal with them on your own. I have been working on this a much as I can, and have been really trying to open up. Honestly she is the only person in my life I feel comfortable exposing myself to and letting down these walls Iv built up over the years.
Recently she is upset with the fact that she feels she has to worry for the both of us. As in I'm always being an optimist and brushing problems off rather than opening up and talking about them with her. So I'm the "happy" one and in turn she feels the need to be the "worried" one. There's no doubt about it, i can see where she is coming from, and I guess I'm just coming to you guys to see how I can better open up with her. Recently Iv been trying to come to her with my work problems and vent a bit along with financial problems we have been having as of late. I really just dont know what I should do. I love this woman more than I can can even fathom, she's everything I want in a life partner and I really do not want to loose her de to my lack of openness. I would really appreciate any advice you guys have.
Thanks. | fiancée (f22) of almost a year feels that I (m22) do not emote enough for her and that I'm very one dimensional with my life long need to shelter my feelings. |
t3_4xen9d | relationships | A girl [19F] I [19M] like keeps sending me mixed signals. Need advice. | Hey guys, first post here, so I'm sorry if I make any mistakes. So, I have liked this girl I know since months. We keep texting each other almost everyday. Well, it's mostly me texting her because she doesn't reply most of the time or just sends one word replies. She says she is busy with work. But I am busy too! I still make time for her. But sometimes, we can speak for hours. She equally participates in the conversation. And at these moments, she shares stuff that really makes me feel that she is interested in me too! It's like, we connect! And sometimes it seems like she is not interested in me at all! She keeps giving me these mixed signals. I am really sick of this.
I am not in the friendzone or anything. She has made that pretty clear. Also, if I don't text her first, we don't speak at all. Sometimes for days. I always have to be ready with something to talk to her about. Because she rarely comes up with any topics or details to share about except those few moments. The only time she texts first is when she needs something from me.
Now I have considered the possibility that she might not be interested in me at all at times. But then she does or says stuff that again makes me feel like she actually might be interested. She us just so emotionally distant and cold. It's like she has this invisible wall all around her. What should I do? Should I continue trying to break down her walls? Or should I give up? | Girl I like keeps sending mixed signals. Need advice regarding what should I do. |
t3_1duhs8 | pettyrevenge | Manager insults my sister, I completely ruin her day. | I already posted in this sub today, but I feel like this story fits here too perfectly as well.
Years ago I worked at American Eagle Outfitters. Douchey store, douchey employees. One of my managers was the absolute worst. She would make comments over the headset about fat people in the store who "have no right to be here," and all other kinds of nasty stuff.
So, my sister asked me if I could buy her a pair of jeans with my 40% discount. I obliged, and went to the store and picked out the pair she wanted in a size 12.
I brought them to the cash where my douchette manager was working. She picked them up and said, "Well these clearly aren't for you." (I'm a size 2.) I said, "No, they're a gift for my sister."
She rolls her eyes and laughs and says, "You and your sister must be ... very different." I asked her what she meant, she said, "Well ... Let's just say, one of you lost the genetic lottery."
So the next day I was supposed to work at 12. I went to the store at open, and bought everything I wanted in the store. The total was 500 dollars *after* my 40% discount. Then I left and never showed up for my shift.
My manager blew up my phone all day asking where I was and whether or not I was coming in because they were understaffed and she couldn't work a 12 hour shift because she had a date that night ... Well, tough titties for you. | Manager insulted my sister, so I used my store discount to treat myself to a metric tonne of clothing, never returned and caused my manager to work for 12 hours. |
t3_zez7f | AskReddit | Assistance on raising money for a media team. What is a good way to go? | So as stated in the title I'm starting a media team. We don't have an official name at this time but it is in working progress. I'm currently in High School in my last year then I'm headed to Sheridan College for film. But at this time My cousin, My friend and myself have been wanting to make a media/film team. We have some basic equipment but nothing that good. We should have one of our short films online around October but we want to make $5,000-$7,000 for better equipment. I'm not asking you for money but for suggestions on how I can raise money. I was thinking Kick Starter but I do not know what I could give in return besides a simple thank you in the after credits, etc. | Need suggestions on how to make $5,000-$7,000 for a film team. |
t3_3x8jl9 | tifu | tifu by starving my cat | Well this tifu actually happened today but most of it went down on Sunday. So Sunday I was getting a few things out of my garage for Christmas (lights, trees, ect), ended up closing the garage at about 6 maybe 7 pm. I noticed my cat was missing for a few days (he's an outdoor cat and roams the neighborhood often). I wake up at around 8 am today and hear the meowing again but this time it sounds very close. So I walk around my backyard trying to pin point where it was coming from and I end up at my garage I knock on the garage door and a symphony of dire meows begin. I unlock the garage door pull it up and who is on the top of the garage door...my cat who has been missing for around 4 days. I pick him up like a mother who is picking up her kid from the first day of school. Now he is feasting and being treated like a king. | Cat was missing found him in my garage where he was for 4 days without food. |
t3_2t0q4i | relationships | I [19F] have been with my incredible boyfriend [19M] for 7 months, and I'm struggling to vocalize my feelings. | I never expected to find myself in a relationship like the one I'm currently in. It's better than I ever would have dreamed--he's the most caring, intelligent, all-around wonderful person I've ever met. I'm completely head-over-heels in love with him.
But I haven't told him that yet. I've been trying to say it for about 3 months now, but every single time the right moment comes along, the words turn my tongue to lead and I miss my chance.
We've actually talked about saying the phrase 'I love you' before, in regards to how often we say it to our parents and relatives. He told me he's only said it to his parents (with whom he has an awesome relationship) twice before, only at very important moments in their lives, which only made me more nervous about saying it to him. What if I don't pick a moment that seems important enough to him? Maybe that's a silly fear, but it's stopped me in my tracks several times anyway.
It's not that we don't have our sweet, sentimental moments. He's told me how lucky he is to have me and often talks about our future. We both get excited about nights when our roommates are gone and we can spend a whole night together.
Neither of us has been in a long-term relationship before, so that makes this task all the more daunting to me. Any advice/similar experiences would be greatly appreciated. | I want to tell my boyfriend of 7 months that I love him, but I chicken out every single time I get a good opportunity. Help! |
t3_esd8r | AskReddit | A Small Question About Studying abroad... | Reddit is always a boatfull of help, so I'm appealing to your guidance. I'm an American looking to study abroad in Germany--or any other German-speaking country--Fall/Spring term of 2011 or '12 respectively. I'm open just about anything, whether a semester or a year long.
I have taken 4 1/2 years of German classes (3 in high school and I'm finishing my second year of college). I feel like I've gotten as far as I can in a classroom. I need to immerse myself.
So far, I have worked my way through school and I don't have any loans. I'd like to keep it that way if possible. I've talked to my university's adviser on the subject, but she only knew of programs and scholarships directly affiliated with the school. I already have researched those routes.
I'm wondering if any of you have any experience as an American studying in Germany. Specifically, I'm wondering how you financed your time there and if you have any advice.
I'll give you more details if you want them. | How do I get money to study abroad in Germany? |
t3_low55 | AskReddit | Does anyone know what I was sprayed with? | I was riding the bus last night, and it was packed pretty tightly. As I was getting off, I felt a few drops of liquid on the back of my neck. The temperature was too cool to be spit, but not cold enough to be rain. I turned around and wiped the back of my neck with a gloved hand, and as I did, I noticed some more droplets of liquid on the bus window. They seemed to be on the outside. A crowd of people was getting off as well, and I couldn't tell if anyone else had seen or noticed what happened.
My first impression was that a nearby car was using its windshield -wiper spray, and it had somehow sprayed through the open window and hit me on the neck. I brushed it off and started walking, but after a few steps my neck began to tingle. And then BURN. I ran the 2 blocks to my gym, up the stairs, and straight into the restrooms. Washed my neck and the back of my head with soap and water. The burning stopped getting worse, but didn't go away for over an hour. | I got sprayed/squirted with a liquid that burned my skin. WTF happened?! |
t3_1e5n8e | relationship_advice | [17/M] Not sure what do with this [16/G] situation | Ok, so a few months back myself and this girl at my high school started talking. She was really into me and I was really into her. She told me most of her friends were really into me too and I asked if that was a problem and she told me not to worry about it. So first date ensues after a couple of weeks and I took her to a movie she really wanted to see and she really liked it. Over the next couple of days she just completely stopped talking to me. I asked her what was up and she told all about how this wasn't going to work out even though she really liked because one of her friends (who also really liked me) gave her an ultimatum saying it's either me or their friendship. She also wouldn't tell me who the friend was. (I found out eventually) She also told me that was she wanted to be friends first before going into anything and maybe waiting for her friend to get over. The problem is I don't know what to do now. Do I continue to ask to hang out and stuff and just be "friends" and do I just let her go because I'm in fear of getting strung along. Please help me out with this. | Girl's friend gives her Ultimatum causing her to leave me. |
t3_2tu9jp | relationships | I (21M) just broke up with my (21F) girlfriend of 4 years. Did I make the right choice? | A few days ago I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years. We were a happy couple and I didn't do it on bad terms. My problem with her was that I like to do adventurous, active things like mountain bike, ride my motorcycle, and generally be in the out doors. She on the other hand is not very interested in these activities, and I feel that she was holding me back from doing the things I like. There are a few other issues like her hot head and a big mouth at times. She is also very clingy and attached to me, which doesn't give me the opportunity to do the things I like without her. Sometimes she is difficult to be with, but sometimes she is the only one I want with me.
I still love her though... I still want to be with her. Logically I feel I made the right choice, being so young I can play the single life and find myself, but I have spent my entire adult life with this girl, making memories and friends together like we were tied at the hip. I feel like I am loosing 4 years of my life by giving her up. | just broke up with what just a month ago I thought was my life partner. Now I'm sad and conflicted if it was a smart move. |
t3_1mtogb | self | Had a "right to life " rally on my college's campus today. It killed my mood for the rest of the day. | So every now and then we have some Christian group that shouts at people to repent ad preaches in the court yard. I'm sure this is fairly common at most universities, but today was different.
I was coming back from the library after a good study session to see enormous billboard like signs and to my shock, it was pictures of dead fetuses and babies etc.
Now I've never seen such graphic images or attended a sponsor event, I always assumed that was for DC and such, but the images were just seared into my mind.
The local student body created some human chains and posters to counteract the preaching, some of which was humorous and at the same time, sad. Both sides going back and forth and even drowning then out in song. Anti abortion, (pro-life people) had a grand total of three to four people going against the university body.
One side freedom speech and shocking graphics to make their point, the other side drowning out the message and getting aggressive and personal because they disagreed. It was a circus. Just felt shitty for both sides.
The entire thing kind of hit close to home because I was almost a late term abortion. That could be part of the reason my mood sank, but at the same time I just felt disheartened by the whole thing and it put me in a depressed mood.
Thanks for listening | Good day ruined by graphic images of dead babies and touchy subjects I didn't need to see or hear that day. |
t3_288ur7 | relationships | An argument has arisen between me [18F] and my boyfriend[18 M] in the past couple weeks; we plan to stay together a long while into the future, and I hope to have kids some day. However, he is scared of the health risks to me. How can we work this out? | My boyfriend and I are very happy together. We trust each other completely and have no secrets.
We have a lot of shared interests and have never had any real arguments.
Lately we've been talking about our future(heading to different colleges in a few months, but planning on long-distance), and we began talking about kids.
I want kids and always have. So did he, but now he has researched the health risks to women during pregnancy/birth and is worried about my health.
He says that my life is more important than the possibility of kids. I worry about the risks too, but I can't help wanting kids.
Is there anything I can say to reassure him that we might just have to accept the risks? | how can I reassure my boyfriend that despite the risks to me, we should still consider kids? |
t3_3wa0tg | relationships | Do you believe that being in love changes people? | I'm (24F) currently dating/together with (27M).. we started out as FWB and just recently agreed to become exclusive with each other.
Though our relationship started and is primarily focused around sex (which I honestly love! hope that dynamic never changes) the more time we spent together/got to know him I started developing feelings.. to the point that it made me depressed imagining my life without him.
Drunkenly on Halloween I got the guts to tell him my true feelings and blurted out the "I love you" that I felt, but was afraid to say in case it wasn't reciprocated. However, I surprisingly got the I love you too response that I was hoping for back!
Since then we've been saying it to each other (mostly during sex, which makes it 110% better/more intimate in my opinion) but has escalated to saying it much more often and with soo much more passion!
Which leads me into my question...
Last night we were having a moment and he looked at me with his gorgeous eyes and asked if I really do love him. Which there is no doubt, for the first time in my life, that I truly do!
So I asked him the same question back.. "do you really think your feelings for me are for real?" His response was that he does love me, but is a little afraid that falling in love will change him.
Was a little taken aback by that response because in my experience I've never thought I'd changed as an individual by being in love. I've had about 3 serious relationships which lasted about 1 year or more so feel like I have a little experience in the whole romance department..
but perhaps I've never actually experienced the real thing until now.
I fell in love with him for exactly who he is.. flaws and all! So would hate for him to change in the slightest.
So my question is what do you think he meant by being afraid that he might change? How does being in love change a person? Can it be avoided? Can I actually reassure him this won't happen? | guy I'm seeing asked I really love him, told him yes and asked the same question back. Was told that he does love me but is afraid that being in love will change him. Never felt like I changed personally from being in love.. however does love really change people? and if so.. how?!! Can it be avoided.. or is it inevitable? |
t3_28kji1 | relationships | Did I [24 M] break-up with my GF [22 F] ,of almost 3 years,for the right reasons? | i am 24, male, employed and going to school, and have a heart condition (this is relevant). to start off, i just broke up with my GF a few hours ago. allot has happened and i need help.
over these past 2 and a half years we have gone through allot together: me breaking my wrist, her family going through hard times, me almost dying and being diagnosed with having heart condition, her slowly becoming bipolar, me falling back into depression after my uncles death, her unhealthy habits, spending 6 weeks apart and most recently my broken thumb.
now for some background: while she was away for 6 weeks, i went to sleep at my friends (20F) who my GF hates. and i flirted with a friend (25F) (no interest at all). these are things i did, i acknowledge that it was not smart. i told my GF everything. i have no secrets from her.
now here is why i broke up with her even though im the one who fucked up. ever since she came back, it has been one guilt trip after another. i did not cheat, i did not lie and i was straight forward about everything. when she cheated on me, i forgave her and moved on even when she lied about it and hid the facts.
We talked everything out, i tried to cover everything with her (i taught we did after she told me she was ok) and make sure we could fix any lingering problems. but despite my best efforts. things got worse and worse. being treated like a cheater by the person i love is not something that i can emotionally stand.
Reddit, did i do the right thing? | GF went away for 6 weeks, i visit friend she hates and flirt with girl while she is gone. i tell GF. she holds it against me. i break up with her. did i do the right thing? |
t3_extd1 | running | Running Fibula Fail | Runnit,
I'm out -- after 2 years of running(/walking) at least 5 days a week and going from 320 lbs to 170 lbs, I finally got an injury that has put me out.
It was a pain that has slowly built up on the outside of my calf, and the doc thinks it's a stress fracture of the head of the fibula (given the xray which had a small mark there). I just finished my first 50 mile week at the end of December and was hoping to run an ultra this year. Now, I'm totally bummed.
I'm not just here to complain though:
Two things:
I've been using the elliptical pretty heavily this week, but I'm a bit worried that might be aggravating my injury as the pain is not letting up. Anyone have any insight into this? Do stress fractures often hurt even when they're not being aggravated?
Also, I'm having trouble burning the kind of calories I used to burn running 45-50 miles a week. An hour on the elliptical for me burns only 6 miles worth of calories, and I can't sustain it for as long as I can running (it's too much of exactly the same thing). I have also been swimming a bit and am going to try indoor rowing today. Anyone have any good cardio ideas to add on?
Thanks Runnit! | I'm out with a stress fracture of the upper fibula. Could the elliptical be making it worse? Got any high-calorie burning no-impact cardio ideas? |
t3_2oapx6 | tifu | TIFU by making a dumb comment | So today, i was in a really bad mood and just got to class, still kind of angry.
She had wanted me to go out yesterday, but i was busy so i declined, knowing she had other people to go with. This was all decided at the start of the week. So, since monday, we haven't been talking because she was angry that i wasn't coming. Today in class, she asked me for a pencil and i, in a bad mood replied "Oh, right, forgot you only talk to me when you need something." and clearly it made her angry....I realized immediately after, it was a bad thing to say. I gave her the pencil and went through class relatively normally. Now, here's the major fuck up. I said sorry later, and she said it was alright, which was good. But then kept asking why i said it. I clearly had no reason, just because i was in a bad mood, it came out.
And that is how today, i fucked up. | Don't talk to me in the morning. |
t3_4c30rd | relationships | I (26/m) and my ex-fiancé (24/f) broke up 5 months ago. I still have the engagement ring, what do I do with it? | We were together 4.5 years, engaged for the last 1.5 years of that. She gave the ring back to me during the breakup. I need to get rid of it to get some closure. Although I feel there is a chance we could reconcile someday, and I feel that maybe it's too soon to get rid of it, I know it's what I need to do. She doesn't want to speak to me, even after 5 months. My attempts to be cordial with her have basically reinforced the idea that being single is the right thing for me right now. I have the engagement ring and the wedding band sitting at my house. What do I do? Pawn shop? Sell it back to the store? Melt them down? Get a "single and lovin it" bumper sticker on my car? | What do I do with the engagement ring (s) that my ex-fiancé gave back to me? |
t3_rfbo5 | AskReddit | I think this has been asked before but I'm boiling... What was the stupidest scam you fell for? | I know I'm a huge moron, but I bought a 10 page $180 paper on rushessay.com. It was a stupid idea, but I was sick and didn't think I'd have time to do it before it was due, yadda yadda.
It all seemed to be going okay, when I ordered the paper, and I had a friend who'd used it before and said it went okay... But I ordered my paper and LO AND BEHOLD, it comes back, writer is a moron and didn't use the sources I provided. I request a revision, and the writer doesn't send it back to me in time for me to actually submit the paper, and I fail the course. | DON'T TRY TO CHEAT. IT'LL BITE YOU IN THE ASS. |
t3_1x3l2y | relationships | Women of reddit. What is her intention by constantly telling me her family asks about me and wants to meet me? | So I(26m) have been seeing a wonderful woman(26) for the past 5 months now. Back in November(2 months in) she mentioned her family wanting to meet me, but said she was not ready for that. Which I wasn't too and we talked about it all for a little bit then. Now it's 3 months later and on multiple occasions she has brought up her family asking to meet me and her mom asking questions about me.
I have told her I would gladly meet her family. She said good and would let me know when. She was suppose to meet my family, but due to weather issues didn't happen. But since then she has still brought up them asking and all.
So I need some female input on what this means. Because I do like her a lot, and would gladly meet her family. I just don't want to misinterpret this to mean less than what I think it means. Done it before and got burned big time. | the person I have been dating keeps telling me her family wants to meet me, and I have told her I would gladly meet them. What could her intentions be by bringing it up to me constantly. |
t3_4hr9ig | relationships | Me [25 M] with my friend [23 F] been friends for years, kind of have feelings that won't go away, need advice. | So one of my good friends is a girl I asked out a few years ago(about 9 months after I broke up with my first real gf, and 4 months after she had stopped dating a guy she'd been going out with for about 6 months). She said she wanted to focus on college with I assumed was just a way of letting me down gently as she started dating someone else for a few months. She is one of my favourite people and I love chatting to her, and we talk often during the week online or over skype(she moved to her home country after college last June), and she has come to visit twice.
She had invited me to visit around her birthday(early June) and stay with her and her family. I'm a little worried that this trip would be a bad idea as the I am a little vulnerable at the moment(stressed and depressed) and I might do something stupid. I have done my best to move on(have gone on dates with other people and been trying online dating but nothing has really clicked in that department yet) but still feel attracted to her. I had a friend ask me when she came to visit if we were an item, as she got that impression, from what I don't know.
I really don't want to ruin a friendship because I'm feeling lonely and she is showing me some platonic affection. However I really could do with getting out of the city I'm in for even a few days. I realise I would be putting her in an awful position if I blurted out anything while vulnerable and want to avoid this if at all possible. Any advice would be welcome. Cheers | I'm girlfriend zoning a friend and need advice on how to stop.. |
t3_338ank | relationships | Me [33 M] with my wife [33 F] of 13 years, self mediatiation techniques for better communicating | My wife and I have a hard time communicating. Whenever we touch on a contriversal subject there is a 65% change that we will explode into an argument that will put us in a bad place for days.
The 35% of the time we manage to recognize the danger in time and manage to scramble to safety with just a fleshwound or two.
I tend to get defensive and always attack her arguments when I feel that she is being inconsistant or making assumptions. She has little patience and does not like explaining things and often feels that I take on an air of superiority that irritates her (I never feel that I am doing this).
She is against joint counseling (and I am unsure we can afford it and there are potential language/culture barrier issues). All of the people we know on this side of the ocean are people I would be uncomfortable having as a mediator. | Are there any self mediation tips you could share that we can try out? Methods that might allow us to throughly discuss a touchy subject without makin things worse? |
t3_tj91z | AskReddit | Help dealing with crazy | Recently moved to into a small community in Columbia SC. The house itself less than ideal but is located in an area that is close to both my job and that of my housemates. The only major problem is that we live across the street from crazy. One of our neighbors is an 80ish year old woman who hoards cats (the animal control guy we spoke to said she has dozens) and her son stands outside at random intervals of the day and night and yells incoherent jibberish. Recently his outbursts have moved into the later part of the evening pretty much destroying any peace. My landlord has suggested calling the police. But we have reservations about calling the cops on someone who is obviously mentally ill. I really could use some advice. | moved across the street from insane town cryer and cat hoarding mom. Call cops on crazy? |
t3_1j3y0t | relationships | Me[18M] with my SO [18F] duration, we're leaving for college+ending it then, noticed she already removed me from facebook as "in a relationship" | I know you guys are probably sick of this whole "leaving for college thing". In our case, we've been dating for about exactly a year now and don't plan on staying together when we leave but that's over a month away. We plan on staying together until then.
Anyway, and I still have it up on my profile, like a goon... I don't know how long it's been since she's taken me off but it's kind of bumming me out. I always go here to see if I'm overreacting about something, and I feel like I am, but I think it would have been nice if she had let me know that she was doing it (and why so soon?). Now it feels like she doesn't want new guys looking at her profile and seeing her as taken... gah. | She took me off our facebook relationship. I still have mine up. |
t3_ly3w7 | AskReddit | I have some emotional scars from my childhood that sometimes affect my personal and social lives. I have never sought after professional help. Can we open up a conversation on this topic and what I should do to combat this? | Backstory: My parents divorced when I was too young to even remember them being together. My mother remarried not long after that and is currently still with my step father. From a pretty young age, around 10 probably, I became terrified of my step father.
He had an extremely short temper and was the type of person that would get in your face and raise his voice for the smallest of offenses. He would also play these games (I saw them as games) where he would get in your face, threaten you with whatever punishment, and then say that we weren't to speak. Then, he would ask if you understood what he was saying. If you said yes, he would yell at you for speaking. If you didn't say anything, he would yell at you for not responding.
Besides spankings now and then and a face slap a couple of times, he really wasn't all that physically violent. But, as you can imagine, a lot of what he did was emotionally damaging to me.
I've always been a quiet, introverted person and I've never figured out if this is my personality or I have been shut up so many times by my step father that this is how I am. I have mild social anxiety, sometimes worse than others, am very sensitive and have trouble expressing myself. I generally see myself as a gentle person but some things set me off and I feel this intense building rage, just like I witnessed very often from my step father, and it really scares me (I have only told 2 people this ever but I have recurring dreams of violently fighting my stepfather, less frequently now that I am older). I don't want to be that type of person to my wife or my children. What should I do to help this situation? | I had a childhood filled with a lot of anxiety because of my troubled relationship with my step father and I think that problems in my personal and social lives are feeling some consequences. What can I do to help this situation? |
t3_2dsj0f | relationships | My gf (21) is geeting upset because I have no hobbies and I (20) am having trouble coming up with things I want. | I'm dating a girl who has a many interest and things she wants to. Meanwhile I am simply down to do the things she suggests and things that she wants because there are very few things that I would do on my own (We have been together 3 months). She wants to do thing I want but there isn't much that I want which concerns her. It makes her feel like I might resent her for making the relationship be about about her. This is not true and I the love the fact that she has new things to do. How can I comfort her with this, or give her things that I may want to do with her. | My Gf wants to do more things for me but I am happy just doing things that she enjoys. |
t3_3p63fb | tifu | TIFU when I had my first sex dream in years. | This happened early Monday morning. I rarely have erotic dreams anymore. I used to have them a lot when I was 15 or so, but 20 years later I'm usually dreaming about food or flying or something. However, during that brief, pre-dawn moment, I was 15 again.
All I remember is that I was performing oral sex on a beautiful woman. The hottest aspect of the dream was how she smelled. It was so intense and animalistic; never before had I experienced such a pheromonal head-rush from a dream alone.
Toward the end of the dream, I remember I was rubbing my hand against her crotch over and over and then sniffing it. It was then I woke up and realized what I'd been doing: I had been rubbing the area between my balls and my legs with my hands and then sniffing them as I dreamed. | I should shower before bed. |
t3_svj6o | AskReddit | What kinds of things do Redditors do to manipulate or provoke certain good behaviors from co-workers? | I have found that people are more apt to behave in positive ways when someone makes it *easier* for them to do so. I work with 25 people, we have 3 restrooms, and people are extremely lazy about replacing toilet paper or paper towels when they finish a roll. For the last month I have gone out of my way to stack 3 open rolls of toilet paper on the back of the toilet tanks and an extra open roll of paper towels on the restroom counters every single time I use one of the restrooms. I have not seen one empty roll on a spindle since. | Co-workers seem to always replace tp and paper towels when open rolls are right there for them to swap. |
t3_3kokr3 | legaladvice | [HI] Individual I am subletting from refuses to return security deposit | Sublet what can only be described as a vacation rental for a month, "landlord" stated that I had paid her for one month and after that time I would just need to pay any remaining days spent there to, what is essentially her landlord (actual property owner). I informed her that I did not intend on staying past the end of the month I paid for (Aug 14th - Sept 14th). She then stated that I would have to pay her landlord regardless in addition to a $100 cleaning before she would return my deposit.
My question essentially is: as far as I can discern from Hawaii tenant rights, because it was not a written lease/fixed term, it becomes either a week to week or month to month type situation, in which after 14 days of lease termination she is legally bound to return my deposit unless she can document significant damage (she can't) not to mention she cannot charge me additional cleaning fees outside of what is equal to one months rent (I'm going to leave it clean despite it being dirty and ant infested when I moved in). Is there anything I'm overlooking? Additionally, if I do intend to go to small claims, should I file a dispute against her through PayPal because that is how I paid her, or skip that all together and just file a claim with small claims?
Thanks. | Sublet "landlord" failed to find a new tenant to maintain her lease with actual property owner, wants me to foot the bill. |
t3_1bv9zt | dating_advice | I (M15) think I might have screwed up majorly with a girl (F15) I had a crush on last night. | **Throwaway Because I have Redditor Friends**
So I have this friend that I didn't really know I liked until about a month ago. Well she has made it clear that we are "Just friends" on a few occasions, yet she still shows signs of liking me. So our ROTC program (which we are both in) had a ball last night (I'm not a formal person at all. It is the exact opposite of my very being.). I had planned on going stag because I don't have the balls to ask anyone to it (mostly because my parents always made me feel uncomfortable around girls when I was little so I tell them nothing of my "love life", for lack of a better phrase.) A month ago, she asks me to go with her to the ball "just as friends" so of course I said yes. Last night when we are there, I find myself sort of pissed off because I was thinking "What if the only reason she asked me was because she didn't want to go alone and look like a loner?" So we eat and everything and once the formal part of the evening is over the dancing begins. I had warned her prior to the ball that I know nothing of dancing or the Formal Arts of Fanciness. I sit there and just make small talk THE WHOLE NIGHT! I wouldn't even dance with her (mostly because I didn't know how) or take a picture with her (because I don't like my face and I hate the Class A uniform) and I can't help but feel as though I am a huge douchebag for it. My cousin/best friend danced with her because I wouldn't (which I didn't care for, he just felt sorry for her because I'm a dick). I probably ruined any chance I had with her because of it. She said it was fine that I didn't dance with her and she understood but I can't help but stress over it. Did I screw myself over on this one? What do I do? | I didn't dance with my date at a ball because I thought she only went with me so she didn't have to go alone. |
t3_1ogiy8 | dogs | HELP! I have a 10 year old Bull Mastiff | My male bull mastiff has had horrible allergies, hip problems, and eye issues for years, but lately they have all gotten worse. He will scratch himself and chew on his paws until he bleeds and scabs. He constantly shakes his head because his ears are itchy. When he does this, a horrible smell comes from them. I can tell how miserable he is. He'll just pace around the house shaking his head and whining. Also, he let's out this God awful yelps that sound as if he is in the worst imaginable pain ever. Lately he won't even get up to go outside and I don't want to make him get up in fear of causing him more pain. I have tried everything the vet has told me to do. I have given him every medicine that was supposed to help relieve his itchiness. I was told to give him baby aspirin for his pain and benadryl for his allergies everyday, but I see no change. I've made a veterinarian appointment, but I don't know how I'm going to get him in the car because he won't get in on his own. I also can't lift him up because he weighs forty lbs more than me. I am so worried and helpless. Does anyone have any sort of advice to give? Please help me. I am desperate. I don't want my baby to hurt anymore. | My dog is in excruciating pain everyday and I've tried everything the vet told me to do. It isn't working. I need help. |
t3_1ed12k | relationships | Girlfriend (f23) loves horses. I (m27) hate horses. | I can't tell if I'm really a jerk or if I just can't see a tree through the damn forrest.
My girlfriend is a really nice chick. She's pretty, well employed, soft natured, motherly, and we've been together for 1 1/2 years, living together for one. She does all the cooking/cleaning/looking after me.
She loves horses. I can't stand them.
She's a vegetarian, I am a deer hunter.
She lets me go hunting whenever I want to. No complaints.
She's had horses all her life, and doesn't involve me in them because she knows I don't like them. It really upsets her.
A few months ago, she'd been planning on going to a big horse show and she'd been planning it for six months. That weekend I'd completely forgotten about it. I told her the boys were going hunting and I was going to tag along. It wasn't until after the weekend I realised, I missed the show. And she wasn't able to go because I was supposed to take her.
Since then, she hasn't asked me to go, ever. I feel pretty shitty about it.
She, however, has made a sincere effort to get into my hobbies. She even bought her own rifle so I could teach her how to use it. She asks questions about my hunting. All that stuff. She tries.
Problem is, I can't get into her hobbies because I HATE horses.
Dunno what to do. | girlfriend is amazing, but her big passion is horses. I hate horses. Dunno what to do. |
t3_16sa2x | dating_advice | [30M] Going out with someone [26F] new, I'm interested in setting up another date, but is it too soon? | Here's a quick timeline:
I met a girl last week on Friday at a book club and she talked about how she likes to go dancing. I told her that I'm part of a ballroom dance club and we had an event the next day.
On Saturday she met me there and we had a great time. At these events everyone dances with everyone so it was a very relaxing atmosphere. I asked if she wanted to go out another time and I got her number.
On the following Monday my friend and I had tickets to a film festival, but he couldn't make it so I called her up and she was able to get out of her previous plans to attend the film festival with me.
Now today is Thursday (not even a full week since we met), and originally I was going on a hiking trip with friends but now that trip is cancelled due to weather. I'd like to setup a date/activity for the weekend but am I contacting her too much?
When I check the advice dispensed in this subreddit and /seduction they preach to be scarce, as abundance leads to heartbreak. I definitely like this girl and I don't want to mess it up.
Please let me know what you think! | Been out with a girl that I like a couple of times, only once as just the two of us. Thinking of asking her out again, but I'm worried that I'm contacting her too much and I don't want to scare her away. |
t3_34im4j | tifu | TIFU because I wanted to sleep | A few nights ago I was laying in bed watching Weeds on Netflix when from the corner of my eye is saw a something on the wall moving, i jumped out of bed and tried to illuminate it with my I pad. Spider. A big fucking spider. Not as big as a quarter, but it was big! So I run to my light turn it of and grab a shoe and run back to the scene, IT WAS GONE. No way was i getting back in my bed. So I attack my bed with my shoe hoping to kill it then grab my pillow and blanket go outside and shake it out (in my underwear) go back inside STRIP my bed and remake it with new blankets and sheets ( i only have one pillow so i used a blanket as my new pillow).
after and HOUR I finally give up and get back in bed i move my "pillow" over to the other side of the bed and lay down. By now its 11:30. I watch the rest of my episode and get ready to sleep so i turn on spotify and lay down. Just when i am about to fall asleep i feel something skitter across my neck. I fucking lost it i sit up slapping my neck and jumping out of bed grab my lemonade There that little shit is crawling across my sheet. I start bashing the fucker and then get a tissue and throw it away. IT IS DEAD. I remove my sheet and just cocoon myself in my blanket. and open netflix back up unable to sleep. i lay it on the pillow and sit on my bed watching some more weeds. not even 10 minutes later ANOTHER fucking spider skitters on over my screen right over nancy's face! i grab my lemonade again and i kill that shit too.
I am not getting in my bed again, I sat in my chair and finish the entire season 2 of weeds before finally being to tired to stay up any more. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? A GOD DAMNED SPIDER IS DESCENDING FROM MY CEILING AND I NOPED THE HELL OUT OF THERE. | SPIDERS MOTHER LOVING SPIDERS. |
t3_2xxoyl | tifu | TIFU by asking about bills | Unlike most fuck ups, this has just happened. A bit of background first. It started when i was in school today when I recieve a text from O2 (my service provider) stating that if my phone bill from the previous month isnt paid soon my phone will be terminated, were not a completely well off family theres still months were internet bills arent paid. Anyway, getting home i inquire about this to my older brother who started the contract for me. He becomes mad and quickly rings my mum whos out of home, mad that the bill still hasnt been paid, he pays it instead. Crisis over right? No. Mum gets home and begins to get stupidly angry about how my brother and i treat her like shit, it erupts into a full argument in which mum tears out the internet cable, kicks out my brother and now says im soon losing all of my privilages and hobbies (my phone, my internet, my gym membership, ect) and blames me for it all.
I've torn my family apart and im all to blame, ive sat upstairs crying for 20 minutes, i have no idea whats gonna happen next. | brother paid my phone bill for me, somehow pissed off my mum. He's been thrown out and im losing everything. |
t3_1ndv2g | relationships | I (F25) went on a date but felt more atttacted to my date's (M26) friend. Halp? | No throwaway. No regrets.
So, last night I went on a first date with Jason whom I met on an online dating site. We agreed to meet up for drinks with his friend (Anthony).
When I saw Jason for the first time, I thought 'ok. He seems like he would make a good friend.' Jason is super nice, charming, has life in order; he's a prosecutor, he's really smart and nerdy which I find attractive.
Anthony, is just hot. Funny, witty, interesting and really friendly! Anthony and Jason met at an improv class last year, and they seem like really close friends. When I met Jason, I wasn't particularly attracted but, Anthony...oOO guurrrl.
It was weird bc I felt like I was on a date with BOTH of them the whole time. Interview-type questions were asked the whole night, jokes and anecdotes were had..It was a blast hanging out with both them.
Here's where I am unsure about how to proceed- i know the date was with Jason, but if I had to pick, I'd go with Anthony. I feel like we'd have more in common and there's that physical attraction that I don't have with Jason. During the night, Anthony and I exchanged smiles more than a few times. We shared an e-cigarette back and forth. I don't know. I don't know how to interpret things, or what to hint to Anthony that I'm interested (if anything), I wouldn't want to get in between their friendship either.
I apologize if it seems scatter- brained. Typing this on my phone. Thanks in advance for your wonderful help! | I went on a first date with dude and his friend, I liked friend better. Halp. |
t3_39xhrt | self | Called cute by girl in school. Wondering if it should boost my confidence... | I'm a 16 yr old sophomore in high school. I have a really bipolar self-image. Sometimes I think I am extremely good looking, and other times... not so much (mostly when I see myself in weird angles in pictures). I've never had a girlfriend. I'm pretty sheltered (not really from my parents but from myself. I'm not antisocial, but I'd rather stay at home and be on the computer), so I'm not entirely familiar with teenage girl psychology.
So anyway, in class, I had to do a group presentation. I was with my best friend (a guy) and a girl, Katie (pretty attractive). During the presentation, I was cracking some jokes and making people laugh (how I survive boring, tedious things about school). When we sat back down at our desks, I heard two other girls (Jess and Lela, more attractive that Katie) talking go Katie. They weren't talking loud, but they weren't whispering either. When I started listening, it was already in the middle of the convo, but I think I caught on to what they were saying. I'll attempt to transcribe...:
Jess: You totally should. You're both smart, you're both white as hell (I'm a very pale young man lol)
Lela: I mean it's not like "oh my god, he's hot!", but he's a cutie... a cutie with a booty (I don't know what makes guy butts attractive).
So I assume they were talking about me, given the context of what was going on in class, and I assume they were convincing Katie to... go out with me, I guess?
Another time, the teacher in class called my name to answer a question. I wasn't paying attention, so I paused for three seconds, sighed, yawned, and said, "what?". I didn't think it was that funny, but everyone laughed, and then Lela said out loud, "he's cute isn't he?".
So I'm questioning to myself whether this should be a confidence booster or if it's not a big deal at all. | called cute by an attractive girl. Is it good that she said that, and if so, how good? |
t3_2tiw8s | relationships | I [29 M] keep getting a dread sensation after I feel she's into me | Hi,
The last times I've seen girls that I like, I start flirting with them and during this phase I actually feel that I like them and want to be around them all the time.
But as soon as I start to sense that they get interested in me, I start questioning whether they are the one or not, and get a feeling like I everything is wrong. Even when I wake up and remember about them I get this feeling of dread. We don't even have to had gone on a proper date and I start feeling like this.
But then when I see them talking to other men, I get a little bit jealous, not enough to act on it, but enough to make me think "Ok, so you really like her". Shortly later though I'll get the dread feeling again.
I'm pretty sure it's not normal behavior, and rationally it makes no sense to me to feel like they're not the one when we haven't even gone out on dates.
Currently I'm at this exact problem as I'm flirting with a girl from work, who I think is awesome, cute and fun. Some people have said to me that we look very well together, even thinking that we were already in a relationship. But as I said, when I started to feel she was into me, the questioning and dread began along with the sensation of wanting to flee.
Has any one of you had this problem before? How did you managed to solve or cope with it? I keep thinking that it will make me die alone because I'll never get to start a meaningful relationship. | Keep getting dread sensation after feeling she's into me but before even going on real dates, preventing me to start a relationship as I want to flee. |
t3_31fe4i | tifu | TIFU by showing up to take an exam that wasn't even being offered. | This happened back in January but I am posting it now because I wasnt aware of TIFU or Reddit back then. Sorry
I probably should give a little information about the SAT II subject tests. You can register to take up to 3 tests in one sitting and even change the subjects you want to take on the test day from the ones you initially opted for while registering.
I register for only the Physics test initially but a week later i decide to appear for the World History one too. In order to avoid the late fees, i decide to just take the extra test on the actual test day and pay for the test later, instead of changing my registration for an added fee. (Found out later on that the late fee is still applicable)
I work hard for the next month to study world history and end up being under prepared for the Physics one.
On the actual test day, i just opted to take the World History one instead of the physics one so a poor score is not reported to my universities. ( Yes, I was dumb enough to opt for advance score reports. They Save about $46.)
So I open the exam booklet and to my horror, I cant find the world history test. (All tests are in one booklet and you can choose the ones you want to do).
Turns out, the World history test isnt offered in January and only only offered in Nov, Dec and June..
I ended up doing the physics one, which i also FU and hence ruined my chances of getting into a good university | Same as the title. |
t3_1wsl0h | relationships | Me [16 M] in an unclear relationship with[15 F] , difficult to move forward | We have been talking/texting for over a year now. But my main problem is that in that year, we've hung out maybe three times and it bothers and frustrates me.
I believe it is because of her social anxiety( she can have random panic attacks
in crowded areas, as she has told me). Every time I ask I always get " I'm busy" or " I can't". Every single weekend. And then I dont know, a couple weeks later she will say that she's hung out with her girl friends. And I ask often.
And to be clear, she has told me she has feelings for me and vice versa. So I'm out of ideas | so, girl so wontt hang out with me, but says she has feelings, so what should I do? Move on or continue to crack on? |
t3_13rkq5 | dating_advice | Not sure how I(15M) should ask out girl(14F) | All my life I have been shy, and have never had a girlfriend nor have I tried to ask someone out. But I really like this girl and have decided that I don't want to have anything to regret, so I'm going to at least try to ask her out. She is average looking, as am I, but I'm not a very outgoing person. I've thought a lot about her rejecting me, or me embarrassing myself if she says no, but I think it might work.
We used to be friends a couple of years ago, but we just stopped talking for no reason. We live in the same town and went to the same school for a long time, but now we go to different high schools.
How do I ask her out? Should I message her on Facebook, or wait for the unlikely event that I will see her in person? Also, is it even worth it now, or should I just wait until i'm older to have a relationship with someone? | I(15M) like a girl (14F), but we go to different schools and haven't talked in a while. Not sure how or if I should ask her out. |
t3_l8uzv | AskReddit | A homeless black Lab is roaming our neighborhood and appears to be starving. I don't know what to do. [x-post from /r/rescuedogs] | [This black Labrador] has been roaming my neighborhood for nearly 3 weeks. It's pretty obvious at this point that she's homeless, and I feel awful for her.
She seems to be very skittish around people, but has shown zero signs of aggression towards anyone. Because of this, I have reason to believe that she may have been in an abusive household.
She's been a sweetheart so far, but looks very skinny and I'm worried that she's starving. I'm trying to share my own puppy's food with her when I can, but I can't afford to keep doing so.
I live in a nice urban neighborhood, but we're outside of city limits and I've had no luck in being able to get her into a shelter. So far I just been trying to share treats and food, both to keep her fed, and more importantly to get her to gain trust in humans.
[I've made a CraigsList post] for my area to try and get her some help (or even better, a home), but it's really rough and tears me up to see her.
I would adopt her myself, but I do not have a big enough property to properly sustain her, and I also cannot afford the food and vet bills. My local humane society can't take anymore animals for at least a couple weeks. I'm constantly trying to build trust in the meantime, with moderate results.
I feel awful looking at her and thinking that I should be able to do more. I'm considering asking for donations to at least let me feed her for a few weeks until I can possibly transport her to the humane society of Springfield, MO.
I talk to people in the neighborhood and they all feel bad, but have no idea whose dog this was. We're pretty sure she was just abandoned at this point. What should I do? | There's an abandoned and possibly abused black Lab running around our neighborhood. I'm unable to take her in myself, and the local animal shelter can't take her in for at least a couple weeks. I need some advice |
t3_4jmr1k | relationships | I (18M) want to text a girl (17F) on kik, but we barely spoke in school. | (For those that don't know kik is a messaging service, most teenagers have it.)
We had 2 of the same classes but we barely talked. We sometimes had brief exchanges, short funny exchanges, and like a 3 sentence conversation at our award ceremony. She seems genuinely interested in me but I dont know for sure. I dont have her phone number but i have her kik and i want to text her but dont know if it is a good idea. Im a senior and the seniors get out of school a week early so i cant have a face to face with her unless i see her out of school, which 9 times out of 10 i wont. Should i text her and take the risk or is it just not worth it and i should let her go? | I want to text a girl but dont know if i should given that we barely spoke in school. |
t3_3am7pb | relationships | Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [23 M] 6 months, he doesn't make me feel like I'm important to him | Hi. So my problem is in the title basically. We've been together 6 months and I don't know how to communicate my problem to him.
Our relationship began great, we'd see each other as often as possible, text/phone a lot. He always remembered things I've told him, I remember stuff he tells me. You know the important stuff.
Recently we've been seeing each other a lot less and no weekends as he's now working weekends as well as all week. So we've gone from 3/4 days a week to 1 or 2 if I'm lucky. He never texts anymore, calls me on his way to work but barely asks about my day anymore just chats more about himself.
I was dealing with it just thinking he was busy and tired from working a lot, no big deal. But this week he stayed over, I went to college in the morning and he left my house while I was out (he usually sleeps in til I'm back as he works nights). He didn't text/call me until 3 days later and ignored my texts/messages I sent him. During these 3 days I'd also been to court (over a DV issue with my ex) which he knew I was stressed and upset about. Come the 4th day finally calls me, didn't realise he'd not spoke to me and cited being busy, didn't ask me how court went.
I told him I was upset and annoyed, hung up on him. Called him back and apologised and conversation continued as normal.
Cue back to barely texting me/ignoring messages for another day.
He has gone from making me feel important and that he really liked me to making me feel like I'm not even on his list of priorities, that he doesn't care about me and that he just sees me when it's convenient for him and that he's shutting me out.
I have no idea how to bring this up and talk to him about it. I don't just want to rant and start crying as it isn't a useful conversation and makes him feel like crap.
Sorry for the length. | Boyfriend of 6 months making me feel unimportant, how to communicate this? |
t3_1z0rue | relationships | My [26F] boyfriend [26M] of over 2yrs jerked it to a pic of previous fling | Came home last night to gonewild tab opened on computer and a pic of a naked girl. When asked about the girl, my boyfriend said it was a photo he downloaded, but didn't know her. Later in he evening, it just didn't add up. When I asked again, he admitted that it was a pic of a fling he had years ago. He told me it was in his dropbox, he opened it not knowing what it was (file name was a bunch of numbers) saw the boobies, got turned on so he looked at gonewild and did his business. Well he forgot all about the tabs opened so when I went on the computer I saw it all. But what also doesn't make sense is the file was created 2 years ago, 5 months after we started seeing each other. He swears he has no clue how it got in there within that time frame, and that she sent it before we even knew each other. Of course, I am extremely upset and hurt. I don't care about the porn, but it just really hurt knowing he had looked at the photo and jacked off. And I honestly don't know if I believe him when he tells me he didn't jack off to/thinking about her... and why didn't he just delete it when it opened?..ugh.. what sucks even more is her and I started forming a friendship, and the thought of it all disgusts me. I would never talk to her about it, so she'll be clueless as to why I don't want to speak to her...I want to hear people's opinions on what they would do and how they could reconnect with their SO. | My boyfriend jerked off after seeing a naked picture of a previous fling...what should I do? |
t3_n4ph3 | AskReddit | I want to work in IT. Please help. | I don't have any experience, although I am pretty good at learning computer-related things and enjoy fixing technical things. I also owe a lot of money for school for another career that didn't pan out - job market that seems to be extremely volatile that also pays very low. And it has been my dream since I was a child to work in IT... I just ended up doing unrelated things for some bad reason. Now I can't go back to school and get a 4-year degree in computer science or something (cost, rent, time).
So, I want to start a career in IT. I don't mind going to school for it, but because of my other degree, I already owe a lot of money. What is the cheapest way to get into IT, which would also show the employers I know what I am doing?
What are the best certifications to get? What are the easiest certifications to get?
What are the cheapest certifications to get? And what jobs can I get based on those certifications?
My dream in life is to work in IT. I have no experience really. I have no money either, and owe a lot of money to school loans for a separate career that didn't pan out. I am ok with taking out some more loans for school, but I honestly can't afford really that much more.
I would love to hear the opinions and advice from reddit. Thank you. | Want to work in IT. No experience. No money. Cheap school and certifications? Where? Also, what type of job to get with that to start out? |
t3_2s9s3o | GetMotivated | [Text] Do you like Top Gear? | Basics: I am a 27 year old overweight guy. About two years ago I lost about 60 pounds of weight by using this analogy that I have written below. I have, however, re-gained about half of this over the past 1.5 years, and I am starting again today.
Firstly, for all intents and purposes, let us assume that cars are sentient and are capable of growth and evolution (or the opposite).
I am one of those cars. I am a somewhat beat up 8 year old Škoda with a diesel engine. I have missed quite a few services and some of my parts are starting to wear out. Also, I am starting to resemble a mini-van from some angles.
I need time to warm up in the morning and my engine backfires often, because my owner usually fuels me with some low-grade limp-wristed cheap diesel that´s probably meant for a different climate.
I can go fast for a while if I am really being caned, but my engine tends to overheat and some body parts go to shit after a long run on high revs. I usually have to cool down for a while after something intense. Sometimes for days, even!
But I have a dream. I want to become something else. Something better.
I want to become an Aston Martin Vanquish. I want to be fueled by the best fuel available so I can put out as many horsepower as needed. I want to wake up with a roar!
Now, I know that cars cannot change, no matter what fuel you put into it or how you treat it, but we can. I can. | picture an old Škoda looking in the mirror and seeing the new Aston Martin Vanquish in the reflection. |
t3_39u2ii | relationships | I [20 M] broke up with my ex[20 F] 1 months ago, and she still seems to be my fuc**** kryptonite | Hey everyone!
I broke up with my ex approximately one month ago, some 2/3 weeks after I told her I didn´t feel the same for her anymore. I know she loved me, but we were constantly fighting, and after 3 months together, I felt we were to incompatible.
The decision to move on was unanimous, but even knowing we weren´t compatible, not meant to be together and all that, I still had the strongest attachment to her, we were great together, very supportive to eachother, caring and with great chemistry.
I´ve been loyal to the No Contact rule since then, and I usually feel great or absolutely ok and moving on, but knowing about her, having a friend saying he talked to her, knowing that she will be in a particular place in a particular time, I don´t know, she seems to be my fuc*ing kryptonite, I feel sad when something like that happens, and I feel like she´s my weakness.
Because overall I feel ok, I´ve been busy, going out with friends, studying, going to kickboxing, planning my vacations, etc, and as soon as I feel great about myself, the simple knowledge that she talked to a friend of mine, or that she went to a party, or that she is moving on, can really put me down.
Even doing the best for me and even knowing that I feel well most of the times, it seems it´s being hard to really move on. Getting to that state of not giving a fuc* about her or about what she´s doing seems to be a far thing.
Sorry for the long post!! Would be grateful to hear similar stories, and how did you overcame the whole thing. | One month after breaking up, I feel well and moving on, but knowing about my ex can really put me down again |
t3_1xz0bf | relationships | Me [28 M] with my valentine [25 F] dating for a few weeks, not sure what I'm supposed to be feeling. | Ok, my question is for older redditors or those with perspective on dating again AFTER a significant relationship has ended.
My ex and I were together for 6 years, lived together for 3, and broke up a few weeks before our scheduled wedding. I took some time, stayed single for a long time and over the last few months I have been trying to get back out there.
Dating has gone well. I have had some fun quick hook-ups, some utter failures, and I have had some really fun times hanging out with new people.
Over the last few weeks I have been seeing a girl who is GREAT. Objectively she is everything I am looking for. Smart, GORGEOUS, fun, and we seem very compatible on everything that's important to me. We have had some awesome dates, and recently things have started to get physically intimate.
The problem is, I remember what it felt like to fall in love before. I remember my hands shaking, and not being able to get my ex off of my mind. I remember being swept up. This isn't like that....
I am not swept up. Not at all. I can't seem to stop myself from being weirdly analytical about this whole "process". My mind has gone through steps like a pilot performing pre-flight checks.
* Sorting phase: Complete
* Primary Target: Identified
* Physical Attraction: Check
* Intelligence: Check
* Suitable Career: Check
* Initialize Courting Procedures: Commencing
* First Date: Complete
* Second Date: Complete
* First Kiss: Complete
* Third Date: Complete
* Sexual Intercourse: Initializing...
* Attain Girlfriend: Incomplete
So my question is, if I am not feeling butterflies what does that mean? Am I not ready to date? Is this just what dating is like now that I'm older and jaded? Am I just too jaded? Has anyone else experienced this? | I'm back on the market for the first time in years. It feels like I am shopping for groceries instead of falling in love. Is this normal? |
t3_hax7r | AskReddit | How the fuck does it work? | Hey reddit! Need some opinions... probably the wrong sub, but don't really care about that right now. Also, sorry about the new account, but IRL people know me here, and I want frank advice from honest people, not texts from friends and acquaintances.
So my wife just told me that she's been cheating on me with a guy for 2 months. And she realizes that she wants to be with me. For those who'll read, here's the details:
Apparently she has been "done" with our relationship for about 6 months now... we've had our difficulties, and there are things I do that bug her, but the biggest has been that I don't romance her enough... without making excuses for myself, we have 3 kids, both work and go to school full time, so unfortunately the amazing romance we had when we got together isn't so easy any more.
She's been feeling like it is over because of this, and met some guy, fell for him, but now that she looks back she has realized that our love didn't dissolve, it just matured, and that it is actually better than it was even though it is different.
Without writing a novel - I want to stay with her. I don't know if I can, I don't know how to do that, but I know there are people who have been through this, worked through it and actually come out better than they were. She has already admitted everything to me, and has even gone so far as to destroy her phone and facebook account so that I know she's not just playing me. I asked her to go call the guy (pulled his number from her phone records, then changed her PW) from a payphone (so his number isn't in our home phone records) and tell him that it is done. completely.
I know most of you will say differently, but I believe her, I love her, and because of that (and not some other motive like keeping the house together for the kids) I want to work it out.
If anyone has been through this on either end, please grant me some wisdom. How the fuck does it work when people work through this? | wife fucked someone else, we have decided to try to work it out, not sure if I can, but need advice on how to do it if I can. |
t3_3cccp9 | relationship_advice | [26/M]Second chance with a girlfriend[23/f] from three years ago | So this is my first time posting here so bare with me. So to sum things up, I met a girl [23/F] when I was a senior in college and she was a freshmen, we began to date, fell madly in love and were quite happy. Fast forwarded a year and a half later and we had to separate due to distance, because she was still in school, and I was dealing with bad depression for not finding a job. Things come to an end officially when I move out of state. Four months later, I meet a new girl, she messages me telling me how hurt she was I moved on, and we stop talking. That was three years ago. She never left my mind, even after being two relationships, one that was two years, and the other for 5 months. Well about a year ago, I cam home, and ran into her on New Years eve (we have alot of the same friends) with my ex and her with her (now ex) boyfriend. Well now we are both single, after both of our significant others caught us talking to one another (nothing bad but just explaining we still had feelings and we shouldn't see eachother). Now we are both telling eachother how much we want to try again but can't cause she lives 3 hours away from me.
Now I don't know what to do, I went and visited my friends she lives with for the fourth, we didn't do anything but talk and got to know eachother again. Shes going to be living there for the next three years cause of graduate school, and I'm now between jobs, looking for a new one and to relocate. She recommended moving to where she is but I don't know if its the right choice. | I fell for my ex girlfriend and don't know if I should move forward. |
t3_3ayycg | tifu | TIFU by sending my girlfriend nude pictures | Okay so this happened about 2 years ago. I was 18 dating this girl who was 17. Her mom was really nice but super strict in the weirdest ways. As in, she thinks sex is the devils work. I've told this story on reddit before but I thought it deserved its own post. Everyone I told thinks this is one of those crazy Cosmo magazine stories, unfortunately it is not.
Anyways my girlfriend used to send me nude pictures now and then which I obviously enjoyed. One day I guess she was extra horny and told me to send a picture of my dick. I've never done this before... But she was my girlfriend and she was asking for it. Not like it was an unsolicited dick pic. So whatever, I snap a pic or 2 and send it to her. All is good.
Or so I thought. About a day later I'm with my girlfriend and she gets a call from her mom SCREAMING at her. My girlfriend gets the blankest expression on her face. After she hangs up I ask what's going on. "My mom wants to know why there's pictures of your dick saved on her phone".
That my friends, is the day I stopped trusting iCloud. | iCloud showed my girlfriends mom my dick |
t3_27sdfw | tifu | TIFU by trying to cheer a friend up with Florence + the Machine | This actually happened more than a year ago, but still...
So, my roommate's horse had died the previous night and she was broken. She loved that horse, cried her eyes out during the night and was about 20,000 miles away from both her dying horse and her family.
Being one of her closest friend, I try to cheer her up in every way: I stay with her until she falls asleep, I try to talk about happy things, I make her listen to some music while on the bus...
Now this is where I fucked up.
We start listening to Florence + the Machine (love her - generally). So, first song coming up is 'Dog days are over'. The lyrics repeat for about one million times the sentence "The horses are coming". So, thinking that it might not be the best song to listen to, I skip to the next song: 'Shake it out'.
"Good" I think, "She loves this song! We have been singing it for ages!" so we start listening and then, after we get to the right verse it hits me: the song is going - in about 2 secs - with these lyrics:
"I'm always dragging that horse around, Our love is pastured, such a mournful sound, tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground"
I try to reduce the damage and try to turn down the volume so that she doesn't hear the right verse, but I know perfectly well that she knows the lyrics by heart, just as I do.
She keeps still, with her head towards the window. I let the song play and then switch to a different singer.
Thanks a lot Florence.
Anyways, much later, we have laughed about this together. | Tried to cheer up a friend, whose horse had just passed away, listening to Florence's song "Shake it out" (why would a song need the words "tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground"?!?) |
t3_526z7m | relationships | I [21M] recently broke up with my boyfriend [22M]. I recently met someone that I liked. How do I avoid a rebound relationship? | I recently broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago. We knew each other for about 6 years and dated off and on, the most recent lasting about 8 months.
I recently met a guy [22M] that I really like. We hit it off really well and share a lot of the same interest in music and many other things. He really likes me and I really like him. We are interested in possibly becoming boyfriends in the future. However, I want to be sure that I am ready and not just coming into a rebound relationship. How can I avoid this? | Recently broke up with my long-time friend and boyfriend. I met a guy that I really like and who really likes me. How do I avoid rebounding? |
t3_2ye4rf | relationships | Am I [21M] taking what my friend with benefits [20F] said the wrong way? | My FWB and I were talking today and she told me she has some things that bother her about our relationship. I asked her what they were and she told me this:
"I struggle with feeling like I need to be "pure" for any men I date... Feeling like what I'm doing is wrong, that I'm only supposed to have sex in a monogamous, committed relationship, that type of thing."
I'm taking this as she views me as tainting her and that I'm causing her to be impure, even though she's the one who calls me and wants to hook up all the time. I told her that what she said doesn't sit well with me and that if I make her feel impure she needs to stop doing things with me. She keeps telling me that's not it at all and that she feels like what she's doing is kind of wrong, since none of her friends have sex outside of relationships (which I don't believe for a second, they probably just don't tell her) but it is in no way my fault and that I don't make her feel impure.
I'm having a hard time grasping how she can say she feels she needs be pure for any future BF, implying she feels tainted by me, but she says it's not my fault and I don't make her feel impure.
Am I viewing this the wrong way? I feel like she took a shot at me and is now trying to take it back. | FWB said she feels like she has to feel pure for future BFs, implying I make her feel impure. I told her that makes me feel shitty and she should just stop then, she says that I don't make her feel impure. Am I mistaken? |
t3_3ihx7y | relationships | Me [27 M] dating [50 M] for three weeks, I want to end it and don't know why | Hi there everyone.
I am a 26 year old male and I've recently started dating a friend with benefits. We met online and shed to go on a date. When we first met, we both agreed that the other was outside of each other's acceptable dating range, and we decided it would be best to be fwb. We meet the following week and have a casual good time, but then he tells me the day after that he's starting to develop feelings for me. I tell him a couple days later that the feeling isn't mutual, and we agree to remain friends. Well, we hang out about a week ago, and I have a really good time, and I begin to think that I could see us dating, and I become affectionate, which leads him on, and he thinks we are dating. The next day at work I'm utterly consumed with obsessive thoughts that I just don't feel romantic feelings for this guy, and I can't shake this feeling no matter how hard I try. I tell him how I feel, and we have a very intense and emotional conversation, but we agree to give it a chance with no pressure. That very evening, I feel like I miss him and I look forward to seeing again. We meet up the following evening and we spend the weekend together, and I had a good time. We meet up again Monday night, and that is also nice. But yesterday those obsessive thoughts came back, and I can't shake this feeling of guilt, because I feel the same kind of connection with him as he with me, and now I'm thinning I just need to end things firmly with him. But I'm in turmoil because on paper he's everything I look for in a guy: he's sweet, smart, funny, handsome and gentle. But I just don't feel the same kind of excitement I felt for previous guys I was in to. Not to sound cheesy, but I want to want him, and I feel like if I could just feel the same way he does, we'd be so good together. | I'm not feeling romantic feelings towards a guy i've been dating, but I want to, but don't know if I ever will, and want to know if I should just end things. |
t3_2ve8ph | tifu | TIFU by being accidentally racist while supervising a children's birthday party. | Okay so I am the new manager at a "build-a-bear-type" of place. We do birthday parties, and today was my first one. As you could imagine, it was madness --every kid was crowded around the fluff machine and fighting over who got to go next.
I'm filling up each bear as fast as possible because kids are impatient. We allow the kids to push down on the "gas pedal" to make the machine spit out the fluff. I slip while holding the bear I'm stuffing, and the kid is still on the gas pedal, so fluff goes shooting across the room. The kids freak out "COOL!" And start running to collect the fluff off the ground.
I continue to fill bears, somewhat pleased that I've formed a distraction. Suddenly a tap on my shoulder, and this little girl has a big ball of the fluff in her hands, giving it back to me. Otherwise, I would have to sweep up the fluff after, so my first thought is to turn this into a fun game. I say "thanks honey! Now can you go collect me as big of a ball of that stuff as you can?" As she drops to her hands and knees, and starts picking up the tiny cotton pieces off the floor.
.... And then the realization that I had told the one black girl at the party to go collect the cotton off the floor. | was accidentally racist when I asked the one black girl at a children's birthday party to help me collect cotton off the floor. |
t3_sp339 | AskReddit | I just got a phone call from an unknown number that threatened to kill someone. Should I do anything? | I got a phone call from an unknown number. I answered and the conversation went something like this:
Me-Hello?
?-Indiana(I think this is what he said) *repeated several times*
Me-Who is this?
?-Indiana (?)
Me- I think you have the wrong number.
?-Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx *says my mobile number*
Me-What is this about?
?-Kill someone
Me-what?
?-We're going to kill someone.
Me-What are you talking about?
?- We're going to kill someone in your neighborhood near your house and blame you for it.
Me- I don't know who this is but I'm hanging up.
They haven't called back. The guy had an Indian sounding accent (I live in the U.S.). There was a lot of background noise.
Has anyone had something similar happen?
Any advice? | Unknown number calls me, threatens to kill someone and blame me for it. Any advice? |
t3_25hghf | self | Google incorrectly deleted my account and I've lost my main email account with 10 years of history. Reddit, can you spread my story so that I might get it back? | As Google discontinued the Free/Standard edition of Google Apps, I received an email saying that I had to login to my account as an administrator to be able to continue using the service, so I did. However, some 30 days after I received another email stating that my account was now closed.
I then contacted Google Enterprise Support (ticket #04137618) on the 8th of April and it was confirmed that my account wouldn't get deleted, despite the email stating it was closed. As requested by support I also logged in with both of my admin accounts to make sure.
Then today, 13th of May, my account has been deleted. According to the [free edition help pages] *Your and your users' account data, such as your Gmail messages and contacts, will be permanently deleted to protect your privacy.*
For someone who has lived more online than afk the last 10 years, I can't begin to tell you how I'm feeling right now, just the thought of having lost all of my emails makes me vomit.
* I can't reply to the old support ticket since *your email was not received or processed, as the case it referred to has been closed for over 30 days.*
* I can't submit an email support ticket since it requires me to login (to my deleted) account first
* I can't call support since a PIN is required that I don't have (free account)
* [Google Apps product forums] couldn't help me at all, only giving me generic, templated replies. | My Google Apps email account and 10 years of emails has been deleted. Reddit, can you please spread the word / upvote so I might get someone's attention at Google and get it back? |
t3_24i18r | relationships | Those of you who, in LDRs, broke up because of the distance…why did you do it? | I'm genuinely curious.
My boyfriend [M22] broke up with me [F20] because he realized that he couldn't handle the distance. We met over Facebook [mutual friend pushed him to message me] and were in a LDR from the get-go. After 2.5 months he realized that he couldn't do it. We lived 440 miles apart.
He said that he loved me, and that he cared about me so much. He'd once told me that [and our mutual friend confirmed her thoughts on this as well] our relationship was the most significant one he'd ever been in.
I visited him for almost 2 weeks, and during that time he'd said "I never thought I could live with a girl before because I thought I'd get tired/sick of them after a while….but with you it just….it just works. It's a fit."
I was going to see him, at least, once a month, and then we were going to spend the summer together...
SOOO….if you've ever broken up with your SO who you loved and cared about so deeply, but the distance was the ONLY reason why you couldn't do it…..I'm just wondering why the distance is so important that you'd break up with somebody you love so much. | To those in LDRs, why would you break up with somebody you loved JUST because of the distance? |
t3_1ztdfp | Advice | Need help with getting an internship | I saw an internship I'm really interested in and I made some changes to my resume so it would look a little better. I'm looking for some advice on how to write my resume for this internship.
The internship is for a financial firm that helps turnaround failing businesses; they are looking for someone part-time to help with preparation of financial presentations, business plans, plus graphs and charts. Also they are looking for students who have training and insight in the financial performance of companies.
I don't have a lot of experience and I'm not trained or have insight in the financial performance of companies. I do have some skills and achievements which I decided to put in front of experience and education on my resume to grab the employer's attention. Do you think that's a good move or does it make me seem like a show-off, since I don't have much experience and I'm still a college student?
I would love to hear from more experienced and successful people in business/ finance but anyone who feels they have good advice please share!
I would appreciate advice on primarily resume/hiring but interview and other professional advice is welcome too. | Need help with my resume so I can get an internship. I want to show my best skills but I don't know if that will come across the wrong way. |
t3_21aq9u | relationships | I [19 F] am best friends with my boyfriend's[18 M] best friend. Should I give up my friendship with him in order to make my boyfriend happier? | To make this easier I'm going to refer to my best friend's name as T. T and I have been good friends for over a year now, hung out before and talk on Skype a lot. He was the only person there for me when I was depressed and I really enjoy our friend.
4 months ago I met my current boyfriend who was T's best friend. Of course this was complicated as T had some feelings for me but I was honest with him and let him know how I felt about my boyfriend and how much I liked him. He was very supportive which I admire and still today offers advice if I'm ever having large arguments with my boyfriend and have no idea how to handle it.
The problem is my boyfriend doesn't like how close I am with T. Before I have to say I trusted T more than my boyfriend just because I had known him longer but now this is definitely not the case. I love and care for my boyfriend a lot but sometimes just talk to T when I think my boyfriend is busy. An example of this is today, I am home feeling poorly and was texting my boyfriend who then stopped replying. I saw him on Skype but knew he had a class so talked to T instead. Turns out my boyfriend was sitting next to T and just watched us chatting (there was no flirting or anything but I can see how this can be irritating). He is now angry with me for not messaging him and when I argued I thought he was busy and that he could have messaged me first he just denied it.
So here's my question. My friendship with T is obviously annoying my boyfriend. So do I give up being friends with T to make my boyfriend feel more secure or do I just let him deal with it? | Boyfriend and I are sharing a best friend, best friend and I are closer and it's annoying my boyfriend, should I give up my friendship to make my boyfriend happy? |
t3_1427y3 | relationship_advice | How to tell boyfriend I goofed up? | 24/f, 29/m together for a year. I performed poorly in high school and B.A, while my boyfriend has done pretty well for himself.
Two months before my M.A finals, I decided to skip them because, in my case, it is of no use to score just pass marks with poor preparation. In view of my career goals, I need to be among the top-scorers otherwise I might as well drop out. I need at least four months of consistent hard-work to face exams with confidence.
But I did not tell any of this to my boyfriend who thinks I'm going to sit my finals this month. If i told him the truth, he would tag me a loser. I don't want to think I am a loser (read: any longer) because now I have completed a major chunk of my syllabus and my mock tests say I will do well.
But I have no spine to confess my admittedly loser-like act to my boyfriend. Given my history of skipping exams and poor scores, he already thinks that I'm delusional to set up a challenging career goal for myself, that I am not intellectually capable to perform well academically. | Lied to my boyfriend about appearing in my finals because otherwise he will judge me. Can't face him any more. |
t3_46rq6m | relationships | My[31/M] fiancé [32/F] and closest friend of nearly a decade clears her relationship status on FB, ghosts on me on Valentine's Day, buys a new phone secretly and says "I need to work on myself right now we can't be together anymore" all in the last 72 hours.. | It would take a week to type out the entire backstory and let me just say that she really did give me reassurances and reasons to stick with her and I did so knowing the future risks it could bring.
I told her I was posting this to see if literally any other person would really believe that "it's not like that" and she's not looking to trade up/already seeing someone else..
As much as I would love to believe this is just a temporary period of self improvement and all that...
Like I said- third time and the last two were confirmed 100% when I had the pleasure of seeing the pics and videos:-/ | Is she seeing someone or just working on personal issues? |
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