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t3_1u567e | relationships | My [19f] boyfriend [28] of 2 years smokes too much pot in my opinion. | We started dating, and I would smoke with him, and he would smoke pot 5 or 6 times a week. I would smoke maybe 3 times a week and we would go through a 25 bag in a week.
About 4 months ago, he started smoking very heavy with our room mate. They go through $150 a week. Our roommate doesn't pay rent and he doesn't have a job or pay for weed. He just sleeps on the couch and cleans the apartment.
Now, I would love to say it doesn't bother me. Maybe it shouldn't. But it does. My boyfriend and I work 40 hours a week. I can't smoke anymore because of my work.
I have tried talking to him. He gets so mad at me because he says it is a way for him to relax at the end of the day. I understand, but 150 a week... I dont know. I feel like the "uncool" girlfriend that doesn't want her boyfriend to smoke pot. I just want him to smoke less.
Since then, he has never been in the mood for sex. He never wants to go on dates with me (I offer to pay every time.) He won't come to bed with me before 4am and he doesn't acknowledge me unless I make him and our room mate food.
Im so done. I need advice on how to talk to him.... | boyfriend smokes 150 worth of weed a week and he is losing his sex drive and his motivation to hang out with me. |
t3_109c82 | AskReddit | Guys...I need help. Anyone know where to find Ada 2012 (or at least 2005) info? | Ok, so I am in my senior year of a CS degree and I have to write a 30ish page paper on Ada for my programming languages course. I've found loads of info...for the 1983 version. But I am having trouble with finding newer info. Does anyone know where I can an introduction to programming in Ada 2012 (or at least 2005) that can be cited in a paper?
I am supposed to be able to compare and contrast the old and new and, like I said, I have books upon books worth of info on the old version, I just can't find anything on the newer version that is not about either something very specific (like concurrency) or is from a non-citeable source. And even then, that is just for the 2005 version...
...I have not really found anything on the 2012 version at all. I figure it may be too new.
I have searched the ACM Database, Books 24/7, My college library, and Google Scholar.
I'm not asking you guys to do my research for me or anything. I just need a push in the right direction. I feel like I have enough that if I could just get one or two newer sources, I could get started.
Any help at all would be really appreciated. It looks like a fun language (if not a little overwhelming) and I am getting really worried about this project. I still have 2 months to work on it, but this teacher is like...well...like this woman:
Thanks in advance for any help. | I can find plenty of old info, but almost nothing recent on Ada. |
t3_10f67j | AskReddit | Why is bestiality or proper term "zoophilia" not legal or looked down upon? | Back in the olden times, interracial was looked upon with the same amount of disgust but now with equal rights and proper morals interracial is normal and fine except by very religious people. I understand that some cases it may hurt the animal but not always. As animals are living beings too, shouldn't they get equal rights? By nature, animals can get erect and want to mate with humans. They should legalize this and change society to accept it as one more step towards animals having more equal rights. People still look down upon animals as "inferior" creatures. We are all living beings and should have equal rights. It should not be illegal to mate with animals but why is it still? Haven't any of you see the Disney movie, "Beauty and the Beast?" In nature there are tons of cross breeds. Inter-species is natural. | interracial is fine but why not inter-species? |
t3_16azi8 | relationships | My (25m) gf (23f) recently starting taking meds with side effect of depression. | Great 8 month relationship. I really like and care about this girl. In the early stages, we had sex all the time (she would literally jump me in public places). She recently started some new ongoing intense medication for a skin condition, one of the potential side effects is depression.
In the past month or so, our sex has gone way down. She'll say she doesn't really feel like it which was unheard of before. She'll also text me things like 'I feel sad'.
The sex thing kind of sucks but it's not like devastating to me in any way (although it does make me feel a little insecure that she's not as attracted to me as before).
And as far as the sad thing goes, I feel kind of lost. What can I do to support her? | girlfriend started new meds with side effects of depression. she's sad, I want to support. |
t3_2nqrjj | relationships | Me [23 M] and my girlfriend [26 F] of 1 year are having several problems | Hello, guys.
My girlfriend is a nice girl and she loves me, but she fights too much, she's always not happy with something, I try my best but she always starts a fight out of nothing and I've been dealing with this issue for several months and I'm already pissed off. Lately I can't stand her and I've told her, she wants me to be patient and she claims that she will improve if I give her more stability and stuff.
In my opinion I think she can't change, fighting and making troubles is the way she is, she simply can't change.
Even the bible speaks about this kinds of women, PD: I'm not a religious person:
"Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife"
But I love her a lot. I don't know what to do, but I feel like I'm losing the interest slowly. | My girlfriend is a quarrelsome woman |
t3_1slqwf | tifu | TIFU by driving my car on a dirt path | I was going to a friends house and apple told me to make a left into a neighborhood and keep going until it connected to another road.
So I went down the road and continued, but before I got to the road that I needed to turn down, it turned into a dirt path through the woods. But, my gps said to keep going, so I did that.
About 200ft into the death tunnel, I came upon a shallow pond with a side to it. Naturally, stupid me thought "hey! I'll just drive on the side!" That's exactly what I did.
Well, almost exactly halfway down the pond, the car stopped moving. But, now, it was at like a 40 degree angle. It wouldn't go in reverse, and it wouldn't go forward.
Freezing out, I called police dispatch freaking out. They said "call aaa." Because they wouldn't call a tow truck. So I did, and found out that aaa wouldn't cover the tow, which cost $100 just for him to come out.
Well, I have $17 in my bank account, and my parents aren't very rich, so for all intents and purposes, I'm screwed. I won't have a car to get to school, so I'll probably be removed as student body vice-president because I won't be able to get to the before school meetings. | followed apple faps, lost car |
t3_4cj00g | tifu | TIFU by trying to scare my girlfriend | Hello Reddit,
Long time lurker and first time poster. Obligatory disclosure that this wasn't actually today..
This happened last summer when my boredom was high and self respect was low. I bought a scooter.
That isn't the end of the FU!
I was waiting for my girlfriend to come visit me. I knew she was going to arrive at my house soon so I thought I'd hide somewhere near my house and scare her. My plan was this: Hide off the side of the road near a sandpit in my town. Once I see her approach the intersection, cut across the sand pit and surprise her on the other side by flying out into the street on the scooter like a madman and pretending to almost hit her. Of course now I'm like 'what?' but it seemed like a funny idea at the time.
I'm waiting. Parked in my spot out of sight waiting for her. I see her car! Fire up the engine and zoom across the sandpit to make her poop herself. My FU happened when I tried to make a turn in the sand too sharply. I'm sure most of you know from riding a bike that 2 wheels + sand = bad. I crashed to the ground *very* hard. Took me a second to realize what had happened and how dumb I was. She ultimately arrived at my house wondering where I was, and was pissed that I went on a joy ride when I knew she was coming over. Not only did I miss my opportunity to scare her, but I got some pretty good scratches, damaged my week-old scooter, and am 95% sure I broke a rib. | Tried to scare my girlfriend, ended up crashing a motor scooter and breaking a rib. |
t3_10lqnr | relationship_advice | [18/F] Online Dating and Protective Mother HELP! | I've recently signed up for a dating site and am wanting to meet some of the people in person. I'm very wary and will only meet in very public areas and such. My only problem is that I have yet to tell my mother, whom I live with and whose car I use. She has threatened to call the cops and report the car stolen if I use it against her permission. I don't get put much and usually share everything with her. She is constantly checking up on me and I'm not sure if she would agree with me meeting a guy I met online even though that's where she met my stepfather.
I am wondering how/when I should tell her or if I should tell her at all. | Need advice on telling protective mother about meeting men in person in public. |
t3_4o4vfv | Advice | I found an internship online. I think it's a fraud what do I do? | I applied to several IT internships online at internships.com. On Monday I got an e-mail reply asking for an online Hangouts interview for a position as a virtual data entry position that worked at home. I looked at the e-mail I noticed some spelling errors this got me suspicious. But didn't think it was a big deal. I went through with the interview making sure I didn't give out any crucial information such as SSN. The interview was done through messages on Hangouts. I only gave the recruiting officer my name and address but that was already on my resume. I answered a couple of questions. And the officer said I was hired and paid $35.00 an hour. This got me so suspicious $35.00 an hour that's crazy for an beginning internship. Then he sent a list of programs that I needed to purchase but he will send me a check via mail so I can purchase the products. He said to purchase it after I get the check. He also asked what bank provider I have. I replied to him "Chase" I didn't give him my bank number or anything. And he that training and orientation started tomorrow, not in-person interview or anything.
Then later today I got another e-mail for another online internship. It was the same e-mail I got before but with a different company name and a different recruitment officer. The same typos even occurred. This further confirms that these internships are fake. I am not sure what to do now. They have some of my personal information such as name, phone and address. What should I do? I was supposed to report online tomorrow morning. Should I just ignore and block him? Thanks for everyone that replies. | Got an beginner internship with a wage of $35.00 believing it's fake, but they have some of my information such as name, phone, address. What should I do? I was supposed to report online tomorrow morning. |
t3_3w0b1g | tifu | TIFU by sleeping through supervising kids | This literally just happened a few minutes ago. I am 16 and I babysit the next door's neighbor's kids sometimes. The mother of the kids I sit asked me to supervise them when they get home until their dad came home. This should take about an hour, from 4:30 to 5:30. I get home from school about 3:00 so I have a bit of time. I eat a bowl of cereal, browse Reddit for a bit, shower, and its 3:50. I have had a boring, tiring day, and I decide that I have time for a short nap, so I set my phone alarm to 4:27, turn my volume up all the way, and go to sleep. I wake up at 5:30 because despite me even adding in three minutes to get ready, and adjusting the volume, my alarm was set to AM, not PM. So, I immediately got up, and rushed next door to see how the kids were doing. Their dad was there thankfully, and he said its okay and that these things happen. | Set carefully thought out alarm to AM not PM and slept through watching a kinder gardener and a second grader. |
t3_1lp1r5 | relationships | Me [24M] Her [22F]. "Would you be mad if I said I wasn't ready for a relationship yet?" | Me [24M] Her [22F]. We are very very close, talk all day everyday and see each other quite often. Having sex and so on, basically dating but without the official tag. The other night she got a little wasted and asked what are we. Not the first time, feels like she has been hinting for me to ask her out for a while. Well I finally did and didn't get an answer. Today she was asking me to come see her and kiss her and so on.
An hour or so back I get this text "would you be mad if I said I wasn't ready for a relationship yet?". I told her I would feel like she didn't want to be with me plain and simple. She then said forget I asked. She had a rough breakup earlier in the year.
Not sure if I had triggered something. Could this be a legit "yet?" or what? I mean were actually pretty great together and have been for quite a while now. | Not ready or not interested? |
t3_39sl5v | relationships | I [21 F] cheated on my partner [21 M] of 3 years last night while drunk. I don't know how to talk to him about it or what to do. I don't think I've ever felt worse about something I did. | I'm a college student, and my boyfriend and I have been dating since the first month of college. I'm on one of those college student guided tours of Europe, and last night I got drunk and partied with some people from my group. I danced with a guy I vaguely know from the trip, and he asked if I wanted to hang out, but I didn't expect to actually do anything.
I went to his hotel room and we hooked up. We didn't have sex, but came close.
This morning I woke up feeling more shitty than I have in years. I love my partner so much, but I often wish I could have the experience of beginning something with someone again. However, my partner isn't comfortable with open relationships or anything.
To top it off, my partner has been having a super hard time recently, and his parents are getting divorced after his dad cheated on his mom. I don't know how I could have done something so terrible to him while he's having this experience.
I want to talk to him about it after I get home, but I have no idea what to say or do. I need advice, and hopefully someone to make me feel less like an utter piece of shit, although I know I am. | I'm on a trip to Europe and cheated on my boyfriend, who's having a hard time because his dad just cheated on his mom. I need help. |
t3_3phuqw | relationships | A little different than the usual relationships post, but me 18 m with myself, how can I improve myself? | I'm gonna keep this short, I posted a while back about my relationship and how I feel unwanted and no gratitude etc, I didn't get many responses but a few made me look at it from the perspective that maybe I'm not stable for a relationship, and then we had the typical "break up with them" response that this su reedit tends to think is the solution to everything.
Let me start by saying that's not the solution. I tried to get her to move on and for the first time in my life someone wants to be in it. So I think the next best step for me to take is to work on myself and my stability, because this girl is the girl of my dreams, the type of girl that you sit and wonder how you were ever so lucky, how someone like her could love someone like you.
Where can I start? I suffer with depression, and while she tries she doesn't understand it and that's a common problem with people, it's not easy to understand until you go through it yourself. Some days are better than others, and some are worse than others but what I do realize is I need to make some changes.
Motivation is a key factor, I'm very low on it. Most of the time I just want to lay down and relax after work, and my moods are 80% of the time pretty crummy.
How can I stop overthinking, always thinking the worst, how can I work on loving myself and realizing that nothing is fishy about someone so amazing loving me? How can I work on not fighting myself every day and wondering when this amazing girl will find someone better than me and then I'll be alone again?
I really don't like feeling like this, but I do think my mindset is pretty set on self pity and constant worrying that I don't deserve the ground I walk on let alone the girl that loves me.
I have a constant anger, it's not even really aimed at anyone, but I let it appear at people that don't deserve it. I want to help myself and I want to give this girl everything she deserves.. Where can I start? | ideas and tips on how to work on myself and |
t3_3cv7y9 | relationships | I [30f] am spending the weekend at my parents beach house, and my mother [61?] screams out, multiple times, in her sleep. Do I bring it up to her tomorrow? | I don't have the greatest relationship with my mom, but I am generally concerned about her wellbeing. As much as I know, she has no history of abuse; my grandma and grandpa were amazing people, and my dad and her have been married 35 years this week, hence the family getting together at the beach house. We had a great day today: played with the grand babies and discussed new houses for my upcoming move.
So, I'm confused about the reason why. She could just be having a bad dream, (repeatedly during the night? Even to me that sounds like BS) and if I ask, the reason could be seriously life shattering. What would you do, reddit?
*confirmed from my sister; this has happened on more than one other occasion. | I just found out my mom has night terrors. Do I ask why? |
t3_mcdfd | relationships | Relationship is falling apart. | I am 19 years old, and my girlfriend is 18 we've been together for about 3 years now and we have been fighting on and off for about 4 months now, i feel we have fallen into a pit that we cannot get out of. We are in a long distance relationship right now, and i am having a lot trust issues with her. (She had a fling with another guy that damaged me a lot). I can honestly tell you all that i am in love with her. I have gone under a lot of stress with her and these fights, I have been trying to start to live on my own to bring her in with me, and maybe she will see how much of a big leap that is for any couple. I want to start my life with her, but these fights are getting more and more serious (We are actually in one now). I just don't know what to do, she knows i love her, with all my heart, and recently i haven't felt anything from her. I can get it through her head that she just needs to calm down so we can work things out, and explain each others actions, but it will just turn into a bigger fight and ill break down more and do something stupid again. I don't know what to do right now. Any advice would help. | I am having trust issues with my girlfriend, how can we start to trust each other again? How can we get the love back to what it was. |
t3_zr1h1 | relationships | I feel like I'm doing most of the work. How do I approach this? [18M with 16F] | My girlfriend and I have been long distance for about 3 weeks now, and dating 8 1/2 months total. Our relationship is amazing when we're with each other, and I love her to death, but since we've been away I feel as though I'm putting most of the work in the relationship. I'm always the one who texts "How was your day?" I'm always the one who asks when would be a good time to skype. She always ends texts conversations at weird times without saying good bye (which is especially bad for me since I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and not having that closure makes me worry for hours). And just this morning, she said she was going to call me, but she never did. I was too sad to even bring it up with her. I'll be seeing her this weekend, and no, I don't want to end our relationship over this. I love her so much. And no, she's not cheating on me (trust me). I just don't know how to bring this up without making her feel bad or making me look like an overly-obsessive asshole. We've never had a fight, and I don't want to start now. Also, I feel as though if I tell her my concerns, she'll only start doing more because I asked her to. I don't think I should have to tell her to be a little more involved in our relationship. Please help. | My girlfriend and I are recently long distance, and she's taking no initiative when it comes to communicating with each other. |
t3_24rex0 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] of 2.5 years, I forgave her but am now having second thoughts. | My girlfriend and I got into a big argument when I told her we needed to talk about some things. It got to the point where she asked how it's possible she could trust me when I've talked to this and that girl. Talked to as in like, friendly with, not romantic or flirty at all.
Then she whacked me in the chest twice. I mentioned this earlier and reddit flipped out on me and said it's over run away she's abusive etc. Here's the problem:
I'm aware there's some sort of a double standard. I'm a big dude so it didn't hurt much more than bumping into something. It was in the heat of an argument and I let it go after telling her that that's unacceptable. Things calmed down and we ended up having a nice night. Then a couple good days.
Now, after reading comments and thinking about it, I just can't stop thinking about it. I hate that she thought that was okay to do. I wish I asked her what she would think if the roles were reversed and I hit her. I'm not afraid and it didn't leave any physical scars but my image of her is tarnished. We had a few more good days, but this is in the back of my mind. I want her but this hasn't stopped nagging at me.
Please respond with actual reason and not one sentence answers with no explanation. Thanks. | I forgave my girlfriend for whacking me in the middle of an argument but don't feel okay with it now that I've thought about it. |
t3_4um5d9 | relationships | I [24F] need help figuring out how to talk to my BF [24M] about our sex life and our future. | Obligatory "long time lurker, first time poster." So, my bf and I have been together for about three years. The relationship is generally very happy and healthy, but I'll be the first to admit that we're not great at communicating about the big things like sex and the future, and that when it comes down to talking about big things, I always feel like I'm forcing it upon him. It's not that he's reluctant to talk about it, it just only comes up when I bring it up and it makes me feel naggy. Basically, I know communication is the issue here, so I need help improving it.
The situation is this: 6+ months ago, there were a few instances of him having trouble staying hard during sex. Now, we have never had a ton of sex anyway (which is a bummer, because I was under the impression that we had pretty good sex), but it ceased after this. Even though I know it's not about me (or at least I hope so), I can't help but feel rejected and not good enough. It's definitely made me feel somewhat insecure in my appearance, I often wonder if he's still attracted to me or what I can do to be more attractive to him. I've brought it up to him on three separate occasions, basically saying that "you know, we haven't had sex in awhile, it makes me worried, can we work on it" and he's always like "yeah, I know, sorry, we can try" and then nothing changes from either of us because we're both too big of pussies to actually make a move.
He's away on a trip now but I'm planning on bringing this up to him when he returns because, though it's not a deal breaker for me, physicality in a relationship is important, and I think I'm going to have to be the one to initiate any possible progress. Additionally, I want to have a conversation with him about our future a.k.a. getting married, but I think we should figure this out first. | my bf and I are currently not sexually active due to a few failed attempts. I want to talk to him about working together to fix it and move forward, but I don't know how without feeling like a nag. |
t3_3xh6yh | tifu | TIFU by trying to donate blood. | Obligatory not today, but rather six years ago, during sophomore year of high school.
Anyway, a bit of backstory, I was prone to having panic (or anxiety if you so choose) attacks back then and would have them maybe once a month, sometimes more. This plays into the fuckup in a big way.
It was blood-drive day at school and like before when the vampire group would show up, I'd happily donate blood. I really had no problem with seeing blood or dealing with needles so I figure might as well donate (plus free candy afterwards and time out of class).
The time comes for my class to give blood and I get up and leave with the rest of my class, girlfriend included. I'm seated and awaiting my bag to be prepped and watching my girlfriend (seated next to me) at the time getting her arm stuck with her needle. Soon after I have my needle put in.
Now, this is where the panic attack bit comes in. I'm sitting in my chair, fucking around with my phone and feeling my blood drain out of me when a familiar sensation crops up, shit. I start having a full blown panic attack out of nowhere and begin to try to get out of my seat. Why? No idea.
During all this, the other students (about 30 of them) became aware of my distress and focused on me. I get freaked out further and proceed to take my arm off the armrest, bad idea. The tube running from my arm to my bag gets caught on the armrest and rips out of my arm, which causes my arm squirt blood everywhere, landing mostly on my girlfriend. Not only her but the whole class starts doing their own thing, laughing, freaking out, throwing up, etc.
The nurses proceed to calm me down, clean me up, and send me the fuck home. I got home with a hefty bruise on my arm and fucking grateful feeling of knowing it was a Friday and that it'd just blow over by Monday. It didn't. It was well into Junior year before people stopped asking if I was "that one guy who fucked up a blood-drive by spraying blood everywhere". | Became a human super-soaker, covered my girlfriend with the wrong kind of fluid, ended an entire blood-drive, and terrified an entire high-school class. Didn't even get candy. |
t3_19bjah | pettyrevenge | Petty revenge on a messy customer. | About an hour into my shift today my manager told me that the Shoe Department floor needed to be cleaned up because of a mess in progress. I had spent the first hour of my shift alternating my time between two busy sections because we were down on hours. I had been running around between my sections helping customers, taking calls, doing price checks, letting people into the fitting rooms, processing items from the fitting rooms, and calling other stores for customers. When I was told about the "mess in progress" all I could do is sigh.
I did a quick walk through of Shoes, took note of the areas that needed to be focused on, and started at the messier end. Surprisingly it wasn't women's shoes. I start cleaning up and a kid (around 12) pulls 3 boxes of shoes out from the wall, looks at the shoes, and leaves the boxes on the floor. He does it again at a different section of the wall. I customer service him, and he said he doesn't need any help. I informed him the boxes he pulled from the wall are creating a tripping hazard and need to be picked up (that's the "time for you to stop" signal). He scoots the boxes to the side, kicks the trash, and walks away.
I start putting the boxes on the wall and picking up the area. He had left a trail of boxes for me to pick up all the way down the men's and children's back wall area (around 15 boxes, plus trash on the floor spread across a 30ft area). His trail of boxes lead to his mommy.
His mom had a stack of shoes in box he had tried on on the bench beside her. I asked her if she needed help finding a size, and she asked me if I could call another store for her. So off I went to the computer.
The particular store I work at was having a special sale on the shoes she wanted. All other stores weren't having the "special" sale, but I didn't tell her that because she and her son were slobs.
She ended up driving to another store for a pair of shoes that'll cost her $15 more. | Slobby mom and son ended up paying more for the shoes they wanted. |
t3_2glpwz | relationships | How do I (30m) get over the thought that my SO(28F) is always cheating on me whenever I'm not around? | I know they're not cheating on me, they've reassured me, they go through great lengths and are open with me about everything, but I lived a pretty fucked up life when it comes to infidelity.
My parents cheated on each other when I was young, then when they both remarried, they both cheated on those people too. My mother's husband also cheated on her. My best friend in our teens cheated on her boyfriend. In my 20s, all I listened to was Tom Leykis. For those who don't know him, he's a shock jock that completely hates women. It's what helped me get over my first break-up. Not the best way to handle things, but I got through it. All he would ever say is, "Women are lying, cheating bitches," and it's what happened to be the cherry on the cake of my insecurity about this subject. It drives me insane that I feel like this in any relationship. | I always think my SO is cheating on me and part of it stems from my past experiences of others. |
t3_3mexri | legaladvice | Need some legal advice due to dispute with neighbor (houses are right next to each other on the same property) | I am in South California, USA.
My mother used to give food and our family had helped their daughter move out. However our relationship with them had turned sour when we had incidents where our car ended up scratched due to what we suspect is the neighbor's actions. There was a time where we think a garage had scratched the car while another time scratches made by a trash can were visible. We have tried talking to the neighbors in an effort to stop damages from happening as we didn't have evidence to file an insurance claim nor did we want to file one.
However they refused to talk to us and instead called the police on us for intimidating the female neighbor. My dad had only ringed the door bell, stepped away from the door to be visible from a window, and identified himself. Ironically the female neighbor did come out and talked to my dad. Since then, we have made sure to not talk to them or cross their path.
However today the male neighbor almost ran down my dad in the parking lot without stopping. If my dad had not managed to move out of the way, he would have been hit. Additionally the male neighbor pressed down on the accelerator as he moved by. Upon asking him what the hell happened, he instead said he did nothing wrong and rather yelled at us to leave him alone. We called the police, but they only gave a warning to him and told us to talk to the landlord and have them solve the issue.
We have talked to the landlord, but instead we got told to not call them about things like that and got hanged up on. My mom had surgery less than a month ago and our family is scared of going near them.
The landlord also refuses to fix issues such as wear in the shower, mold that formed not due to us, and an open rain drainer right next to a window.
Could /r/legaladvice please give us some advice on what actions to take? | Landlord refuses to listen to our complaints about fearing for our safety due to neighbors. |
t3_4hu8or | relationships | How do I [24/M] show my SO [26/F] how appreciative of her I am after months of ignoring / treating her poorly thanks to excessive overtime, 6 year relationship | Hey,
I have never really been a romantic person and so I am here to try and get ideas on how I can surprise my Fiancé, basically for the last few months + this month I have been working really bad hours, 9-5:30 at work and then 6PM – 1AM at home every night is not unusual as well as 8am – 2am on weekends, just the other day I was asked to do 75 hours overtime in 10 days.
This is about to stop soon as we bring on two new people to help take the load of however I want to do something for my SO to show her that she is appreciated, I'm thankful for her support and patience during this time as, as much as it pains me to say it, she has been forgotten and pushed to the side during this time as I've been so stressed / overworked, this will end this month and I need to think of a way to show her my appreciation for everything she does for me.
I've never been good at this sort of stuff, the most I've done in our 6 years together is get her a teddy which she cried at and has since slept with it every night, but I want to do something more than a teddy, thanks to her being understanding and patient I will be getting promoted to a senior positon within the company within this month (confirmed, it's just a formality now) and really that's only possible due to her being so understanding and not dumping me for ignoring her for the last couple of months.
Thanks for any help. | Due to excessive overtime I have ignored my fiancé to get on with work, that will be coming to an end very soon and I want to show her how appreciative I am for putting up with this and let her know she was instrumental to me getting promoted, however i have no ideas at all as i am useless with this stuff |
t3_30m55c | tifu | TIFU by shitting in my bed | Like most tifu's, this actually happened a while ago. Like 2 years ago, i think, but i just thought to post it today.
So it started like a normal day and everything was normal until i decided to go to bed. I lived with my brother and we shared a room in my parents house (i was in high school). so anyway, in the middle of the night i kind of woke up and i guess i was like half conscious but i do remember the whole thing. so i like sit up in a bed and kind of raise my ass and just start shitting multiple large balls of like the hard ones after you hold it in for a while, well you get the picture. And that's not even the worst part. I become more awake and realize what i've done. Since i am the idiot that i am, i decide to pick up the balls and put them in my bathroom trashcan which has no trash bag in it. One by one, i just drop them in there and then finally go back asleep. When i wake up in the morning i remember it and think it was just a dream, but to make sure, i go check the trashcan and there they are, like 7 balls of hardened shit. I immediately lock the door, and dump them into the toilet and flush it. i can't imagine how my parents and brother would think of me if they saw balls of shit that i put into the trashcan with my bare fucking hands. | i shit in my bed and put it in a trashcan |
t3_en6hj | self | n00b to Vancouver. | Hey Guys/Girls, I just moved to Van, as in Yesterday. I really don't know anyone or anything about Vancouver, except that I have a feeling I'm using the skytrain wrong.
Any who a 'lil about myself: I am originally from Toronto, but spent the last 8 months in Victoria. In school I took Existential Philosophy at the University level, and Computer Systems Technician at the college level. That and I have studied the dramatic arts independently at Second City and Equity Showcase Theater, I love improv.
I am just looking for new people to chill with and show a newb around. Perhaps I can exchange some information about Toronto. Also it sucks having to take the ferry back to Victoria every time I jones, so some sesh mates would be dope too.
I'll check this thread again in a few hrs, I gotta jump the last ferry to tsawassen for like the 40th time in a week, lol. At least bc ferries have free wifi.
thanks for reading | I just moved to Vancouver and am looking to make new friends, and seeing how reddit is awesome i figured i'd try here, peace! =D |
t3_ofpji | personalfinance | Company i used to work for deposited 2000 in my account by accident. What now? | So i work for this comapny for about a month, it was a total cluster fuck. No communication, nothing organized. I left and found an amazing job. a little while after i left i recieved a paycheck direct deposited in to my account. I called the the owner of the company and told him what happened. He said thanks for letting him knw and he would have it taken out. His wife does the payroll and would be responsible for doing that. that was over a month ago and the money is still there. Will it ever be mine? Hwen i get my W-2 from them and that check is on there can i keep the money since i now have to claim it on my taxes? | former comapny gave me money- i told them bout it- that was over month ago- when will it be mine |
t3_3v0ba9 | relationship_advice | 21/m scared to interact with people in general and 0 confidence with girls looking to try rebuild social skills and looking for tips starters etc | Hey can anyone help me out recently ive started useing tinder not for hookups or anything mainly looking for practice talking to people and especialy women because i closed myself off and have been single for 3 years only seeing one or two friends every blue moon since a break down i had.
BACK STORY
when i was younger my mum and dad always use to tell me that women will accuse you of rape and cant do this that and what have you, but further on into my life 2 of my friends actualy got with a girl who cheated on there boyfriends and tried to get out of it by calling rape. this geuninaly scared the last bit of confidence to talk to women out the window i mean i was cautious in the first place but that just destroyed it and also tore away what my understanding of communication and social skills with paranoia anixety and other issues.
MAIN QUESTION THING
i feel like every single thing i go to say do or anything like that is weird wrong bad or some other negative view on my every action. dose anyone know any ways to try break these barriers that ive encountered or any tips on just holding a conversation i try talk about my passions, music animals, games, extreme sports and when i use to go out to big free parties in the middle of nowhere which in all honesty i dont think really sounds to boreing but everything i say to anyone i always question if its acceptable if its right if its normal. Ive just applied as a voulenteer at a animal sanctuary to try get me some brief social interaction inbetween walking and careing for dogs and stuff but im really lonley and im just to scared to actualy interact with the world | i have no social skills anymore, im scared of face to face interaction with people, been isolated for 3 years and want to try get a girlfriend i miss haveing a companion other half but also want some friends again |
t3_23serz | relationships | [20 F]emale friend asked [19 M]e for some porn today, shall i make a move or just be the usual ? | So, i got this really great friend of mine, she texted me this afternoon, asking for some porn, mainly oral stuff.
I have given up watching porn. It was an addiction for me and my life was fucked up. Now that i'm recovering, i try to avoid any possible glimpse of nsfw stuff.
I replied her, "*i'm sorry, i can't give you any. there is none in my hard drive*". She sounded disappointed, but she said it's okay and will try to *steal* some from another friend.
As much as i wanted to help her, i found myself more committed to my abstience from porn.
>**Additional Info :**
>
* She is in LDR with a guy who rarely gives her time, barely they talk. Often she is upset about this. She also cried when i tried to help her out. I suppose, she cant find a way to vent her feelings.
* She said that she has never tried fapping. She just said she didn't think it was right thing to do. We live in a country where adultery in society is still a taboo. So, i guess that's why she said so.
* Oh! And on two ocassions, 6 months ago, she mentioned me as her *bro-iee* (bro, in plain words). I am pretty sure she was casual about that statement.
**Should i advice her something, based on her relationship issue ?** I care about her and i feel really bad 'coz she is often upset.
OR
**Should i make a move, assuming that she is hinting something ? | Gal-friend asks for porn & later we discuss our likes / dislikes about it. She is in a LDR that is just plain boring. Should i make a move on her or just be a little cocky yet friendly? |
t3_39bvyb | relationships | Me [19F] with my now LDR boyfriend [20M] of 4 years, how do I deal with my male friend in new city? | I moved out to other country away from my boyfriend of 4 years, who I lost virginity to, and let me describe few concerning relevant things about him:
* Insecure
* Low self esteem
* Assumes the worst in most situation without asking
* Not communicative about problems
This is not my first LDR time with him, I had done it for a year last time, despite the fact that I was alone, we still had ups and downs with few dramas here and there but we ended up being together.
This time I'm not alone in this city, I have an online friend living here close by. While I was with my boyfriend, I told him a bit about him and got him aware that he's in my city. Fortunately, he wasn't concerned and didn't care enough to talk more about this subject.
Of course, I'm aware that there is nothing wrong with hanging out with your friends occasionally. But this time, he is my only friend in the city, male gender, and there is possibility that I will hang out with him often, not just outside, at his house and we might drink and use drugs moderately.
I don't know US culture very well so I don't know if it's okay to hang out with your only male friend, while having LDR boyfriend, to walk in the park, do some running on the track, eat out at fast food, and hang out at his house to get drunk or high, and if it's okay to sleep at his house (restricted to the couch alone). Me and my male had honest adult conversation that we can't love each other, we're strictly friends and he's not my type so I cannot be sexually or romantically attracted to him.
And even if it's (culturally or socially) okay, then how would I handle it with my LDR boyfriend if he feels it's not okay? If communication is the only option, then how do I do about it? Do I just make agreements to hang out with my friend, then tell my boyfriend what I'm going to do then go hang? | I have one male friend in this city, as well LDR boyfriend in other country, plan to hang out with my male friend occasionally and don't want to raise concerns for my LDR boyfriend so I don't know what to do. |
t3_fl016 | relationship_advice | Not sure how to act, and need some unbiased advice. | Ok, here goes. I'm 19, male, in college. Never had a girlfriend, never been with a girl. I suppose it's because I'm a fairly shy person, and have little confidence.
Lately, I've been trying to branch out, and actually talk to some girls. There is one girl, a friend of a close friend of mine, that I've grown quite friendly with. She's incredibly nice, intelligent, good looking, and, if it's ok with my buddy, I was considering asking her out.
I'm a pretty average looking guy; she's an athlete. She is constantly laughing at my (I think) crappy jokes, and I'll hear her telling people how funny I am. Also, from our talks, she and I seem to have quite similar beliefs, values, etc.
But the biggest problem is this: Over this last weekend, I was out at the movies with some friends, and my close friend and her were both there. Talk began of how they "needed to find me a girlfriend" started up, and she said she was surprised I was single. She then expressed that she'd like to set me up with her roommate. I met the roommate, and I'm not interested in her.
So my question: Should I ask this girl out? I feel conflicted, as one the hand, she finds me very funny and nice, yet she's trying to set me up. And second, how can I express to her that I'm simply not interested in her roommate, yet still maybe have a chance with her? | There's a girl i'm interested in, low confidence, she finds me funny, yet she tries to set me up with another. |
t3_3op97d | relationships | Me [24M] with my girlfriend [27F] of 4 years, have been having intimacy issues ever since I moved to stockholm to live with her. Please help! | Ive studied in sweden 4 years ago when I met my girlfiend. The attraction was instant and within a week we decided to be mutually exlusive to each other. After about 6 months I had to return to the USA but I couldn't be without her. So I flew to her about 4 times a year until I graduated college. I moved to sweden in july and we have been living in an apartment. Now finding work is difficult since I dont speak swedish, and I have been noticing that we have been having much less sex. Its about once a week on average now, and 95% of the time I have to initiate it. It worries me that her libido is so low, and im not sure what to do. We have had a few talks were she asks if I would be happier if we broke up, and each time i conclude that I wouldnt be.
It is getting a bit hard though, since I am living in a country that is unfamiliar with me, and of course I do prefer my home country, perhaps i need time to get used to Sweden? Anyways, thank you for reading and for any help/tips you can provide! | Moved to sweden after 4 year long distance relationship, now having intamicy issues. |
t3_bhert | AskReddit | I'm in highschool, I know (and want) to study, but when I sit down and start, I get really anxious and pissed off. | First off, I would like to say that I'm a fairly good student. I get around 80-86% in my courses. Unfortunately, most of the courses that really matter are on the low side of the eighties. I would like to improve these, and my chances for better university/scholarships. To do so, I would obviously have to study more. The thing is, when I sit down and force myself to go over the material/do example questions I seem to get really pissed off and frustrated almost instantly. I have no problems understanding the material or doing most questions, and I am quite surprised that my total lack of studying due to this problem has gotten my as far as I have. I find absolutely no reason why I hate studying so much. I know I have to do it, and I really want to be able to sit there and devour pages upon pages of work, but I just can't seem to do it. This has also led me to some sort of depression because I simply can't find a way to accomplish my goals in school (the ideal is everything at least 90%). If anyone has any idea what can be causing this and possibly any solutions I will be very thankful! | Get really pissed off when I try to study. |
t3_1kma56 | loseit | NSV: I ate a salad and left the meal feeling completely satisfied! | This isn't as profound as some of the other achievements on here (I'm still in my first month), but I just really wanted to share!
I've always felt that salads are (to quote Fat Amy) "skinny twig bitches" food. Sure, I've had salad, but never felt like I was eating anything that wasn't just leafy water.
Today after burning 500 calories in my morning workout, I thought dammit I didn't do all that work just to eat it all back during lunch. So I went to Stop and Shop, bough some iceberg lettuce, a light Italian vinaigrette, some chicken sausages, and stopped by their Mediterranean to pick up some black olives and mozzarella cheese.
I get home, throw it all together and by the time I got to the end of the plate (1/3 lettuce, 1 sausage, and a little bit of the other stuff), I felt full. I was in complete shock - I've never been filled up by a salad before! And it tasted rockingly fantastic :)
I've resolved to try to eat a salad for lunch most days a week and then allow myself some healthy carbs for dinner in the night to keep away the boredom. | had a simultaneous OMG/WTF moment when I enjoyed and was filled by a salad I made |
t3_2oz2bh | Parenting | Stepmom of two, 7 and 8. They call me by my first name and I don't have a problem with this, but recently have been reconsidering. | When I was first introduced to the kids, it wasn't with the intent of marrying their dad and becoming a permanent part of their lives. They called all of their dad's friends by their first names, so that's how I was introduced to them as well. When we did get married several years later, it seemed kind of silly to ask them to change. That's the name they know me by, and they have never been disrespectful with it in any way.
In addition, they already have a Mama, and I would never dream of trying to "usurp" her role by forcing them to use a Mom title on me - but they do know that I am their stepmom, and they are content with that.
Recently, my stepdaughter has been trying to give me a nickname... a variation on my first name. She is doing it to establish a term of endearment, not to try to be disrespectful. However, it makes me feel a little uncomfortable. I have never been a nickname person - I used to throw fits as a child when my sister would use nicknames on me - and it just feels weird. Like she's trying to see me as a friend rather than a parent. It has actually made me question if I do need to go by a title rather than my name. Or, do I just need to tell her in no uncertain terms that she should use my proper name? | Stepkids call me by my name, it has never been a problem. Stepdaughter is now trying to give me a nickname, it makes me uncomfortable. What to do? |
t3_1fignw | relationship_advice | My girlfriend wants a break. What do I do? [M/21 | F/22] | I've been in a long term relationship with my girlfriend for 3 years now, and we're both in our final years of university. Naturally, things have gotten very hectic and busy, with both of us working jobs/internships, going to school full time, and making time for friends, homework, free time, and most of all each other. After what seemed to be a minor fight, she decided that we needed to take a break, and we've been on a semi-break for almost two weeks now. The reason I say semi-break is because I've contacted her every 2-3 days to try to make an appeal to her, or come up with a lame excuse to contact her(Clothes left behind, errand needs to be run, etc.) . I know I'm screwing things over for myself by contacting her all the time, but it's hard to stop contacting her, especially when she doesn't seem like she really wants to break up, and just needs some space. When pushed about whether she wants the breakup, she responds that she doesn't know yet, and that I just need to leave her alone for a while. She still wants me to show up to her graduation, and she promised that she'd write to me from her graduation trip with her family. I guess my questions are: How long do I give her, how do I stop myself from hounding her, and is this just a precursor to a real breakup? | Girlfriend wants a break, still wants me to go to her graduation and promises to write to me during graduation trip. |
t3_10a1ku | dating_advice | Old FWB and I recently broke up with our SOs, and I ended up at his place - where we DIDN'T HAVE SEX for once. What do I do now? (Full details inside) | 24F here, he's 23M. I first met him when I dated his best friend 5 years ago. That certain ex is now my best buddy, and he's marrying the girl of his dreams soon, so there's no leftover romantic love there =] ANYWAY, after we broke up and we were good friends, I asked permission to pursue his guy friends since they're good people. Soon after I was given the go-ahead, I was fooling around with his friend because... well, I enjoy it. So sue me.
Fast-forward to present-day. Old FWB broke it off with his girl a couple of weeks ago, I broke it off with my guy a few days ago. I called him up asking if he wanted to toke and catch up, and pretty soon we were giggling about all the nonsense we put up with and making shadow puppets on the ceiling. We talked about everything and nothing, and it was a nice change from staring at a screen with someone for hours. We ended up cuddling in bed together while he massaged my head and back, kissing me on my forehead and tilting my chin up for short lip smooches. I asked him if giving massages was just something he enjoys doing, and he said "A, I love hair. B, you asked for it." We ended up falling asleep in each others' arms, something we've never done before.
Now for the confusing part: Because of our previous history and recent events, I can't tell if we're/he's 1) On the rebound, 2) Just trying to redeem benefits again, 3) Baked and just acting on cannabis-induced happy feelings, or 4) Actually connecting on a new level. Who knows, it could be a mixture of one or more items on the list. I'm trying so hard to not look too far into things, but I don't know what my next steps should be. I don't want to miss out on the possibility of this opportunity, but I don't want to rush into things and ruin whatever friendship-type thing is going on now. | Old FWB from a few years ago may or may not be interested in me after we both broke it off with our SOs recently. I can't tell if it's just him trying to reap more benefits or if we're connecting, and I'm a tad nervous about finding out. I don't want to get hurt again so soon =[ |
t3_1mv64v | jobs | Given an offer for less than I'm making now... should I counter? | Story is this, I've grown to really hate my current position. My co-workers are very difficult to deal with and the whole company has really taken a nose-dive as far as customer service goes. I really want out as soon as possible. I interviewed for a new position doing similar work with a well respected company. I've now got an offer letter making $2.80 less per hour. On the application form I had to fill out prior to the interview, I stated that I make $20.80/hour (probably a mistake). When we discussed the offer over the phone following the interview my future manager told me that this position has a starting hourly rate between $16 and $18 per hour and that he was offering me the most he was able to offer. However after 90 days he would be able to re-evaluate my rate. I'm inclined to believe he's telling me the truth, but I'm skeptical of how much they could realistically offer as a raise after only 90 days.
So, the question now is, can or should I counter offer? I got the offer letter just before close of business on Friday and have the weekend to decide. From everything I can tell this looks like a great company to work for, it will halve my commute and I like my future manager. I really want to take this job, but having to cut back is going to be difficult. The insurance at the new position is nearly twice as expensive as my current position as well. I have a wife who is a full-time student, and a child in daycare.
Hope I didn't ramble on too much.
Thank you for reading! | Got an offer for less than I currently make, says he's giving me the most he can. |
t3_tnymo | AskReddit | So reddit, when/how did you find out Santa Claus was not real? | I was 13 at the time (I know a bit old), and I had a lot of family over on Christmas Eve. I fell asleep but woke up at 11:30pm in a state of panic when I realized I forgot to leave milk and cookies out for Santa. Everyone was still awake when I got up and when I put the plate of cookies and milk next to the chimney, my 10 year-old cousin comes from the other room, picks up the cookies, and throws them on the floor while screaming and laughing saying that Santa does not exist. I was devastated and just went to my room crying til I fell asleep. | 10 year-old cousin destroys Christmas for me forever by destroying my cookies. |
t3_26t4u5 | relationships | Me [19 F] have sex problems and I'm not sure how to deal with that. Need some advices | Hi there! I absoulutely can't feel when somebody is inside me. I even can fall asleep. I had no sex with my man yet, but with my ex - I tryed to get into it, tryed to feel, got horny, relaxed, tryed lots of positions and nothing could help me.
I just.. can't get into it. I even would to completely refuse from that but I guess my man will need that. And without it he won't be fully happy.
So, maybe you had similliar problems? Maybe it's just my body isn't fully developed? I heard that Kegel exercises can increase the sensitivity, maybe I should try this? | can't feel anything with my vagina |
t3_3gqgpg | relationships | [2ND UPDATE] I [26 F] went on a date with a guy [??M] who turned out to be married, do I tell his wife? | [Original question](
[First Update](
I decided not to wait on telling his wife about what he's been up to, so I wrote her a message that, admittedly, was quite long because I wanted to tell her everything up front, and sent it to her via Facebook. I tried to pay the $1 to send it straight to her inbox, but something funky happened with the transaction and I don't think the transaction went through. In any case, the message was sent at exactly midnight on Sunday night, and it's Wednesday and she hasn't responded, nor is there any indication that she's even read it. I'm worried it went to her other inbox which she may not check.
At this point, is it worth trying to send her another message, this time definitely paying that dollar, just to ensure she knows what's going on, or is now the time to drop it and walk away? | went on date with guy, date got slightly intimate and there was a suggestion of more intimacy later in the week, found out he was married, tried to tell the wife but I'm worried the message went to her other inbox and I need to know if it's worth another attempt to message her. |
t3_1kiw18 | relationships | Should I (f28) feel responsible for my friends´ (f28) social anxieties? | Let me try to get this as succinct and understandable as I can. I have a friend (of 15 years) who has severe social anxieties and agoraphobia. Her social anxieties seem to get worse when around people she doesn´t know well rather than strangers. That said, I have a different friend who has been trying to get me to try polefitness, something I´ve always thought to be very impressive, last week I finally decided yes I will do this, my friend couldn´t make it when I could go the first time around, I felt too shy to go on my own I decided with my socially anxious friend to go to the next class two days later.
The next class day comes along, and my non-anxious friend happens to be free then too, and wants to join, since she´s more experienced she offers to help out by looking our way once in a while, I relay this to my anxious friend who then decides doesn´t want to go, I go anyway and now my anxious friend is angry at me...what I was supposed to take out of this was to ask my non anxious friend to not go.
My socially anxious friend felt ditched even though I made it clear she was still welcome to join. But seemingly everytime I try to involve her in things with other people she doesn´t want to and I spend sometimes hours trying to convince her that people do not infact dislike her as she seems to believe as undeniable truth
Am I crazy for not wanting to exclude anybody and if she wants the other friend not to look over she should ask her to not to do that herself? I feel like i´m getting to the age where I don´t feel like babysitting my friends feelings, esp when they´re being unreasonable. Or was I possibly too harsh? Should I pay more attention to a friend who sometimes goes overboard on complaining? | I feel like my socially anxious friend sometimes dupes me into co-dependancy thus denying myself enjoying time with other friends along with her, I feel guilt because I´m basically the only friend she has, am I being unfair towards her special needs, or do I need to stand my ground? |
t3_2wxezz | tifu | TIFU by telling an old Cherokee woman at the beer vendor that I was hard for her | So I walk into my regular beer vendor, and there's this super nice maybe 60 year old cherokee woman that I always see there. She works there. And some probably 30 year old gothic chick behind the counter, also very nice. I'm chatting them both up about beer and stuff for a little while and the cherokee women and I were talking and she kept calling me handsome and feeding me compliments, and then she said
> "Ha, he's blushing!",
then I of course told her it was because lovely young women such as herself don't compliment me everyday, smooth as fuck, right? As I was leaving I kept trying to push the door that was clearly labeled pull and I had no idea why I couldn't get the door open until they laughed at me and called me an idiot, to which I responded,
> "I guess the bloods somewhere else right now",
and winked at them, and they burst out laughing as I left. I meant it was in my cheeks instead of my brain... Not my dick...
Now everyone thinks I'm hot for the old Cherokee woman at the beer vendor.
Pretty much copied this verbatim from a text I just sent to a friend, so please excuse the lack of elaborate story. | Old woman at the beer vendor complimented me, I was blushing. Proceeded to push a pull door for several seconds, after which I inadvertently exclaimed that I had an erection, winked at her, and left the establishment. |
t3_2vcfmb | relationships | Me [24M] with my [24F] for 2 years. Want to get a Chlamydia test but how to approach situation? | So, basically, we've been together 2 years and both assured one another when we started the relationship that we were STD free. She was in a long term relationship before me, and I had been tested before sleeping with her (except for one sexual partner beforehand in a one off, completely protected situation).
Only thing is I get a burning sensation when I pee now and then. I know this is quite common and could be un-STD related but I want to get a chlamydia test JUST to get that worry out of my head, but don't know how to approach this with the gf.
Just for clarification, I have not cheated and I know her well enough to know she hasn't either, but I fear that in bringing it up it may make her think 'Why now after 2 years would he want to get a test done?' and could put unnecessary doubts in her head. The other option is to just get the test done and not say anything, but then if it DOES come up with something then obvssss I have to tell her and then it seems even MORE suspicious that I hadn't mentioned anything beforehand.
What's the best way to approach this situation? | Want to get a Chlamydia test done just for peace of mind, but don't know how to approach telling gf without it raising unnecessary doubts about cheating (which hasn't happened). |
t3_1ipwga | relationships | Me[23M] dating [26F] for about two weeks, just want to know a simple question. | So I met this amazing woman Online, we have been dating for about two weeks. I disabled my online account and asked her to do the same. She said that sounds fair. All is going well but I get the feeling that she is seeing other guys besides me.
I know we haven't become official so it really is anyone's game, but at the same time. I am more of a date only 1 person at a time, and if it doesn't work, then I move on. Should I tell her that I want us to be exclusive or some form, or is it because she doesn't know what she wants is probably a sign for just dropping myself out of the equation and move on to the next person?
I guess I ask because I never done online dating and I feel that when you do everyone becomes accessible that people may or may not care as much about you because the grass is always greener on the other side (at least they might always see it that way).
Again, I know that I probably am just asking this at the wrong time but personally I don't know what is the 'right' time to ask that simple question. The first date has been amazing and I am seeing her tomorrow. | Went on amazing date with woman, need help if I should be asking to be exclusive/advice. I'm dumb at this. =/ |
t3_2ww460 | tifu | TIFU by being tired of holding a balloon. | Once in awhile, there will be a balloon guy selling balloons to pre-schoolers (only in China). This happened when I was about 6.
When my parents picked me up, I saw this balloons seller and wanted to buy one. I cried and kept bugging my parents on how badly I want one. After hearing me bitching for a full 5 minutes , they finally bought me one. I happily started jogging home, THEN about like 200 feet from my doorstep I told my parents that my hand was getting tired of holding the balloon. My dumb parents told me to let the balloon go and put your hand down. In my 6 year old mind, I let the balloon go... And go.... And go.... I started crying again once I reached the house. Which made my parent take the 15 minute walk back to school and get another balloon. | let balloon go because my parents told me to. |
t3_2z376k | relationships | I [24M] always felt a little abandoned when my ex-SO [26F] got extremely excited about something, and it helped doom our relationship...I want to stop these feelings. | I never had close friends, and my parents and sibling were distant as well, so I grew up in an emotional desert in a way. When I found my girlfriend, I was thrilled with the attention but quickly realized how hurt I got when she would get excited about something, especially since she is an extremely expressive (read: exaggerates a lot) person. I was hurt because I felt like her love/attention was a zero-sum game, and the more she loved her job/pet/hobby/etc. the less attention she'd give me. We had many, many open conversations about this, and rationally I understand how crazy my feelings are, but ultimately my emotional whole-ness never matured enough for the fear of abandonment to disappear.
Now that we are broken up (in part because she was starting a new job, which again made me afraid of 'losing' her as I was unemployed), I still feel deep pangs of hurt when I think about how great things are going for her, how much she loves her job, etc. even though I know it's far from all roses. I myself am now happily employed and have a social life. That doesn't affect how I feel.
I just want to stop these feelings, in all things, period, because I know I'll never be ready for a truly committed relationship until I can do this. I have seen therapists, and am in a group therapy program.
To be honest, I don't think anybody who hasn't experienced this deep insecurity can offer much. I have tried internalizing every rational message I could, but ultimately deep-seated emotions have won. I'm hoping to at least hear from people who have recovered from emotional deficiencies in their childhood environment to maturely handle their adult relationships. I can't seem to find much about overcoming a fear of abandonment.
Does anyone have personal advice? Thank you. | An irrational fear of abandonment dooms me to codependent feelings that destroy the intimacy I seek. I want to change. |
t3_38ygp5 | tifu | TIFU By making a "your mom" joke | I recently met up with a friend of mine who I hadn't seen much of in the last few years. We've known each other since Middle School, and one of our greatest activities when hanging out was making "your mom" jokes to one another. However, I halted this grand tradition a few years back, when his mother passed away unexpectedly, and I tried really hard any time we talked on the phone or visited to NOT give into that impulse that had lasted many years.
Flash forward to this recent visit, and we're about to play a board game where the goal is to destroy the other player's army. I've got all my pieces set up, and am boasting about how I'm going to totally wreck him in the game. He looks at my pieces and says "All I see are a bunch of corpses!" Without thinking, I reply, "Your mom's a corpse!" Instantly, I felt absolutely terrible. The somewhat odd thing is that he actually found it funny, and laughed it off, while I apologized numerous times. | My friend and I always used to make jokes about each other's mom until his passed away, I made one by accident. |
t3_3iiwpg | relationships | am I [26 F] getting into his [29 M] culture too quickly? | I met a guy while on vacation in Canada last month, and he and I hooked up and then connected on Facebook so we could stay in touch. Some of our messages have been flirty, others more steamy, and we're planning on having him come to visit me in a couple of months. Clearly, we like each other.
But here's the thing, he's French. I don't mean French Canadian, French-French. He's from France, and French is his first language, and while I was only mildly intrigued by French culture before meeting him, us getting involved has definitely sparked an interest in me. I've been sending him messages in French when possible, I've taken an interest in learning how to speak the language, even got a Babbel account although I haven't paid for a subscription yet; and I learned how to make crepes over the weekend! Well, started learning . . .
But here's the thing, we've seen each other once and we've only known each other for a month and a half, so . . . is this too much, at this point? If I surprised him with some French when he comes to visit, will he appreciate it or be mildly . . . creped out?
And I don't want to get to a point where we've been involved for a while and serious about each other, and have people start giving me a hard time for not bothering to learn his language. "What, you say you love him but can't learn French for him? *Americans* . . ." It takes a while to learn a new language, so that's part of why it may be good to start now. At least, that's my justification. | met a really great guy last month and I've taken an interest in his culture, but is it too much too soon? |
t3_4z3dq0 | weddingplanning | Fiance meltdown(s) | Hi, not sure if this belongs in here or r/relationships, but here goes:
Wedding is in 5 months - we have had our caterer, photographer, videographer, venue, dj, flowers - most of the major stuff for quite some time now. Recently, there have been a ton of issues coming up that are causing issues in our wedding planning:
-family that we didn't originally invite now affecting my fiance's guilt factor (it doesn't help that her MIL mentioned the wedding to them recently)
-she's having second thoughts about her dress. what she once thought she loved, she now hates.
-recently have been trying to explore other options for catering/bar due to there being a huge savings on $. despite having agreed to go with this option, fiance is reluctant due to other option being "tacky" (would save us around 40% of the food/drink cost even with the initial deposit)
-two of our other friends are getting married within a relatively close time frame. she keeps hearing from them how great planning is going, which amplifies her feeling that our wedding is more of a side event than other weddings, everything in our wedding is a disaster, etc.
It's been hard to hear that on my end, especially since I am excited about the wedding (although now I am more excited for it to just be over with), and this has turned us against each other at times. I feel like there are so many good things that we've done for the wedding, yet things keep going wrong. I've tried hard to keep even keel and be supportive throughout - because I've never had an idea of what I wanted a wedding to be like, and she says that nothing is as how she wanted it to go.
r/weddingplanning, I need help keeping focused on what this wedding is really all about- celebrating our love with the ones that we love. Any advice? | fiance is having meltdowns about our wedding planning and I'm not sure how to handle it. |
t3_k77ax | AskReddit | Do I break up with him now to save heartache for both of us later even though I'm madly in love with him? :( | I am in my early 30s, my boyfriend is in his late 20s. We have been together for a year and a half. He is wonderful and he truly is my everything. He's attractive, the sex is amazing, he's intelligent, supportive, etc.. seriously a dream catch. I am a super logical person and over analyze everything. Here's where I'm in my head.. We are discussing living together. The prospect of this coming to fruition is at least a year out. We have not yet discussed marriage, but there is no way proposal/wedding will come until at least 4 years from, best case scenario (he has certain credentials he wants to complete for his career first). It is very important to my bf that he has a family one day. By the time we may possibly enter marriage, I will be in my late 30s and I don't want to have children into my 40s. I'm scared that in a few years, he'll realize that he needs someone younger to give him what he wants in his life. What do I do? If I bring it up, he will tell me that he is making a conscious decision to be with me, but how can he know what he'll be feeling in 5 years from now? | I'm older than my boyfriend and am worried that he won't realize I'm too old to give him children until it's too late |
t3_23hxpp | relationships | My girlfriend [F21] wants to go on a 2-3 week vacation in China with her male friend, without me [M20]. Is this okay, or am I being irrational? | I am 20 and my girlfriend is 21. We've been dating for 3 years now, and have been best friends for about 8. She told me that her male friend (who she's known longer than me) asked her to come to China with him for 2 to 3 weeks over the summer, and I am extremely uncomfortable about it.
They hang out every once in a while, and casually keep in touch. I've known him through high school and after, and he's always been nice and has never shown any interest in her (from what I know). But the thought of her being in a different country with another single guy for 3 weeks and having those experiences without me makes me feel sick. I totally trust her, but things can easily change when you spend that amount of time with one person like that, and this frightens me. We are both still so young, and anything can happen, especially if alcohol comes into play.
Am I being selfish here? She can't seem to see why I would have a problem with it, and tells me my worries are irrational. She's making me feel like I am barring her from certain experiences if they aren't with me. I want her to have experiences with her friends, because if you do everything with one person, things can get stale. I completely understand that. But I feel like this is a big deal, and I don't think it's okay.
I am in no position to tell her what she can and can't do, but I really don't want her to go.
How can I express this to her without coming off as the controlling/worrying boyfriend? | My girlfriend got invited by a male friend to go on vacation in another country for 3 weeks, and I have extremely mixed feelings about it. |
t3_4a0ny3 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] 3 months, pushes me away when she has issues with her parents | My girlfriend is not an American, she is an immigrant from overseas. We go to college together, and as such we talk fairly often about work and school and stress etc. My girlfriend has basically classic foreign parents. They put incredible pressure on her, and are very stress inducing. I am American and have "normal" American parents. Oftentimes she has issues with her parents and it can result in her being very upset/crying etc. When I try to talk to her about she refuses me. She just says, "You don't get it" or "White people don't get it". It really hurts me to see her so upset, especially when she pushes me away. I know it is not healthy for her mental health, but she refuses to let me be part of the problem. How can I better communicate with her and discuss it with her? I am American, but I'm not some culturally blind suburbanite. I lived in Jordan for 4 years, and in Peru for 3, so I understand cultural differences, but she still thinks I won't understand. I appreciate the help. | My girlfriend pushes me away when she has issues with school or work issues that stem from her parents. |
t3_hblsr | loseit | Finally motivated after years of severe depression, but I don't know where to begin! Help please! | After lurking for awhile, I'm reaching out for your wisdom and this seems like a more supportive community than /r/fitness.
Short background: I'm 27, 5'4'' and last time I was weighed I was 158lbs. I don't feel I need to lose as much as I just need to get in shape. Over the last few years, I spent a long time so depressed I literally didn't move, or get out of bed. Frankly, I'm surprised I'm still alive. I'd spend days without food and then binge on crap, then repeat the cycle. I got out of my unhealthy relationship with my alcoholic partner last year. I don't have health insurance, so I'm paranoid that i'll stress my body out if I just jump into heavy exercise. How do I ease into a routine? Sounds like a dumb question, but I don't want to hurt myself, or burn myself out mentally. Also, I don't have a gym membership, are there any good websites for home workouts? | Feel weak and out of shape after years of barely moving, now I want to get in shape. Thanks for your help in advance! |
t3_12vkta | AskReddit | I have a minor hernia(again), no health insurance, and am currently unemployed, what should I do? | I'm not sure what to do here. Any advice on how to get this taken care of without racking up major debt would really be appreciated.
Here's some background info: I'm a 25 year-old guy, last may I had an operation for an inguinal hernia. I was employed. I had been dealing with this hernia for a few months before the surgery, I do plumbing/heating/electrical/air conditioning(good amount of heavy lifting involved.) I put off the operation until spring because I'm a nice guy and my boss needed me. During the winter I was doing all the emergency no-heat calls for the company. I had health insurance through Horizon Blue Cross. I went in for the surgery early in may, during my month-long recovery period my boss laid me off due to lack of work, the economy sucks, I got the axe cause I was the one who was laid up recovering. My health insurance got cancelled when I lost my job, somehow I'm left with a balance of $4,100 to pay for the operation. About 2 months ago I noticed I had another hernia, on the left side this time, last time it was on the right. I've always been careful about the way I lift heavy things, especially after the first hernia. An hour ago I got my first collections call for the $4,100 I owe for the previous operation. My insurance covered $12,000 of that surgery, and probably would have covered the whole thing if my boss hadn't laid me off and cancelled my benefits right after my operation, but I'm not sure how these things work. | I don't want to owe $16,000(or more) to get the same operation again. I live in New Jersey, if that makes a difference here. I have also been collecting unemployment since last July. What are my options? Is purchasing my own health insurance policy and going to the emergency room after it takes effect my best bet? |
t3_3nxz1k | relationships | Me [18 M] with my close friend [17 F], on and off feelings for a couple years. Recently dated her best friend and it didn't go so well. | Basically I met this girl 4 years ago and we became really close friends very quickly. I struggle emotionally (not sure if clinically depressed) and I'm very reserved, but she is one of those people who I can talk to anything about and be 100% myself around her. There are very few people like this in my life. This girl we can call "Jenny", and about a year into knowing her she dated my good friend. My friend was a shit boyfriend and they eventually broke up after a couple months. Another year passed and I started to like Jenny but since she dated my friend I didn't do anything. I continued to go through phases of liking her romantically for about another year. Anyway I'm really picky about who I date and about 6 months ago I started dating this girl's best friend. Long story short she became very critical of me and made me feel like shit, so I dumped her. She went and started talking shit about me, making out that I was the shitty person in the relationship and know a lot of people think I'm an asshole because of her lies. Now Jenny, being my ex's best friend got a lot of this bullshit so we haven't spoke much the past couple months. I'm starting to get these feelings for her again and I don't know what to do. My friend who dated Jenny is fine with it now, it was a while ago. But I'm afraid if I do anything I will get rejected because of my relationship with her best friend. I don't know what to do, I want to open up to her eventually but it might be the wrong thing to do.
P.S. Jenny is not her real name. | I have had constant feelings for one of my closest friend's. I dated this friend's best friend 6 months ago and the relationship made me out to be an asshole. I like this close friend again and I don't know how to deal with it. |
t3_1exls3 | relationships | I'm (23/m) thinking of leaving my gf (22/f) because I am bored sexually. How do I do it? | My (23/m) gf (22/f) and I have been dating exclusively for a bit more than a year now. Apart from the sex, our relationship is great. We get along well. She's very understanding, supportive, fun, etc. I have no complaints about the emotional part of our relationship.
Sex is very important to me in relationships. I have had about 10 past partners, but my gf was a virgin when we met. She wasn't comfortable with having sex from the beginning, which was a huge turnoff for me, but she was willing to do oral and so I got oral 7-10 times per week and that held me over. In November after we had been together for about 8 months, she finally let me have sex with her under the understanding that our relationship had finally reached a point that she felt comfortable and didn't mind losing her virginity to me. She had previously been very religious, but wasn't when we met.
We've been having frequent sex since then. At least once a day, and initially upwards of 3 times when she was trying new things. Despite all this, I'm finding myself becoming bored with her. I mentioned to her that I was starting to feel a little bit bored in the bedroom, and so she's let me have anal sex with her, let me DP her with a vibrator, let's me engage in bondage fetishes, wears lingerie for me, etc. Physically, she's attractive. Works out daily and takes great care of her appearance, so it's not that she's not turning me on.
I really think I just want to experience more variety and sleep with other women. The thing is, however, that I don't really have any other reason for breaking up with her. Our emotional relationship really is great, but I can't stop fantasizing about sleeping with others and have found myself very close to cheating a few times. I know she is going to be devastated if I leave her, especially since she placed a lot of value on her virginity.
What do I say? Do I tell her I am leaving her because she bores me sexually or make up an excuse to spare her feelings? | I (23/m) have become bored with my girlfriend (22/f) in the bedroom. She has tried to spice things up but I still just want to sleep with others. How do I break up with her and spare her feelings? |
t3_2kuqng | relationships | Me [23M] with my [24F] of 8 months, wondering if I should be with this girl considering her questionable behaviour and comments... | So I am madly in love with this girl and everything has been going great but at the back of my mind is she goes on a night out without me I'm at the least slightly concerned. She's never done anything to me but when she went travelling away from her boyfriend of 2 years she cheated on him at least 4 times, I was the 4th. We then ended up being together.
A few weeks ago she went to a wedding that I wasn't invited to and when I called her asking why she was leaving early she said 'well, we all know what happens at weddings, so i thought i should leave'. When I asked what she meant she said ' Well everyones so happy, so horny, you know, I just thought I should leave'.
She then went to another wedding abroad which she did come back late from and met a guy called mr x. I don't know what happened there but I saw in her messages after that he came to our hometown whilst I was away and that he wanted to meet up, she says to me that she wanted to introduce him to her sister but in her text messages from just before she met him she says to another friend ' I feel flustered and is it not bad that I haven't told him I have a boyfriend'? I asked her about this and she said nothing happened.
She also lies about tiny things a lot and says she doesn't do the same to me but lies to her friends about where she is/what she's doing to avoid plans with them all the time.
I love this girl to pieces but should I be with her?
She always says Im the first guy she can imagine having kids with but should I be careful before I become even more emotionally attached to her or am I overthinking things | Don't want to be looking in too deep to this but wondering if I should be concerned with this behaviour as I absolutely love this girl? |
t3_3ugm9v | tifu | TIFU by taking a piss at work | So a little bit of backstory - I work in a fairly large IT company who provides data storage etc. Anyways I work in the IT section of our offices as a 2nd line support engineer. Now I usually don't have a problem with using the office toilets, but being the shy individual I am I don't like to use it when others are also using/around.
Anyways I go to use the toilets, and I'm enjoying my slightly longer than usual piss, when I hear footsteps outside, in my blind state of panic i decide to hold my my stream of piss and put my dick back in my pants. The boss of the company, who rarely has ever seen me due to my job role, comes striding in and looks me with a look of disgust and continues to the toilet stools.
Confused I decide to wash my hands and get ready to haul arse out of there. That's when I looked down and saw that in my attempt to tuck my dick back in, I pissed all over my shirt, the wall by the urinal and left a trail to my feet. on top of this i had left my trousers completely undone. | Heard footsteps while peeing, tucked dick in pants because i'm shy while using toilets, boss comes in and sees that I pissed all over my shirt and the wall in an attempt to put my dick in my pants |
t3_3l98js | relationships | I [16 M] am having serious problems with my 3 school mates [all 16 F]. They treat me so badly I cry. | Hey reddit. Ive just been having a lot of trouble the past 3 years with some of my schoolmates. These 3 girls everyday I see them kick me in the shins or right in the family jewels and insult me calling me fat, stupid, useless, a benchwarmer, and other things.
On a occasional basis this wouldnt normally mess with me but it has been going on for the past 3 years and I just am at my wits end. What do I do to stop them? Ive seen teachers all of which do nothing, my parents say just to ignore them (easier said than done), and when I confront them they just kick and hit me and run off while I try and stop them. also even if i wanted to I couldnt hit back because they would lie till I was found at fault and suspended or expelled. Its gotten to the point some nights if the days been really bad with them I just go and cry which I have never done before in my life.
Ive always tried to be a nice person to everybody I meet and when I ask why they do it they just walk off or say they think im a dick or that they just dont like me. I dont even get a specific reason for why they dont like me!
The worst part is that I am friends with all of their friends so I see them at every party from birthdays to prom. It seems i cant escape. To try and deflect or deal with their rude comments ive resorted to trying to make everything they say a joke so they just get annoyed and leave but this is giving me a bad reputation as someone who isnt serious and is a class clown.
I hope I posted this in the right place but i didnt know where else to post. Thanks for reading! | Girls in my school kicking and demoralizing me for past 2 years and I dont know what to do anymore. I have had to change to try and deal with them and its making me really sad. |
t3_1g8ayj | relationships | Me[41M] Her [40F] 1 year in. How do I bring up weight loss for both of us? | I've read lots of posts about one partner being overweight, not both. We are both morbidly obese and could stand to lose 100-150 pounds each.
Background:
We have been dating a little over a year, and she is the first woman I have ever truly loved. Before we met I has seeing a personal trainer and was seeing steady results. Once we started dating I stopped seeing the trainer and the weight came right back. She was watching what she ate and had some success on her own. Like me, as soon as we started dating she gained the weight back. I attribute the weight gain as to us going out, ie ordering apps and entree and drinks, a few nights a week.
I've tried to redo the diet and exercise program my trainer had me on, but she fights it every step of the way. I'm at the point now where I need a commitment that she will lead a healthy lifestyle or I'll have to leave her. Not because I don't love her, but because I want to live healthy and have more options in life.
I'm not looking for answers on what I should do, but rather insight on how others have broached this subject with their significant others. | Both of us are overweight. I want a commitment on losing weight, with continuous results, or I'm out. |
t3_29ivo5 | relationship_advice | I'm [F21] worried about my SO's [M23] online behavior when he drinks. | So my [f21] SO [m23] have been dating for 4.5 years, living together for approximately 1 year. Just a few months ago we went through some rough times. He left his Facebook account logged in on my iPad and I had come across some inappropriate messages he had sent to a coworker while he was drinking. We broke up in the heat of the moment but soon enough we both agreed we still cared enough about the relationship to make it work.
Fast forward several months and everything is going really, really well. However, I get home from work a few days ago and find the he left his reddit account open on MY iPad, again! About 3 months ago ( he doesn't send many messages) he had sent a very explicit PM to an online user saying something along the lines of the area he's in and if she ever wanted sexual favors to message him. These messages were sent during the time that we were doing very well. I confronted him about it and he said he was buzzed and horny one night and he was just being stupid. He seems ashamed and remorseful but that doesn't make it ok . I know I have trust issues too if I'm looking through his things but in no way is it a regular thing. These incidences are the only times in four and a half years and have both been in times of low self-confidence. I know that doesn't justify it though :/
So is this regular male behavior or is this totally inappropriate for a man in a relationship? Do some people really change that much when they are under the influence of alcohol? I'm almost sure he never intended on acting on it but it's the fact that he committed a similar act maybe a month after his first indiscretion makes me worry. We are completely in love with each other but this is just a shock that I wasn't expecting. I thought i was doing my best to make things work between us | Boyfriend of 4.5 years committed an act of indiscretion during times of hardship but we worked it out. A month later he sent an explicit PM to a random woman online and I found out about it a few months after. Both incidences occurred while he was drinking. Otherwise, imo the relationship is very healthy. What is considered "normal" online male behavior for a man in a relationship? |
t3_2lhzi0 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my s.o. [21 F] 3 months, how often should I tell her I love her? | I've been seeing a girl for about 3 months and just recently I dropped the big "L" word, she said it back too! I know it's early to say it, but eveything about our lives and personalities intersect and we've just sort of clicked on every level.
We're not officially in a relationship because we go to colleges that are fairly far away and I had a really bad experience in a previous long distance relationship. However, our hometowns are very close and we're both graduating after this year. After graduation, we're hopeful that we'll end up geographically close enough to start putting a label on it.
My question though is now that I've told her I love her, how often should I tell her since we're still not technically in a relationship. I feel like when you say it too much it kind of loses it's meaning a little bit, but I also don't want her to think I don't feel that way. | How often should I tell my s.o. I love her so that it doesn't wear out, but she still knows I do? |
t3_jbflm | AskReddit | What does your screen name mean? | I see so many really interesting and cryptic screen names on Reddit. I constantly wonder wtf some of them mean, or where they come from. So I thought I would ask, where does your nick come from?
Mine comes from years ago, I was working on a mountain in Montana, teaching skiing and snowboarding. Almost daily, the other instructors would take up the mantle for their preferred method of getting down the mountain. Truly a house divided. The instructor shack would be host to a daily argument over which is better, skiing or snowboarding. I always stayed out of it, because I enjoy both, and taught both. One day I was asked why I did not defend or support one sport more than the other. I thought for a minute, shrugged and said, "It's all just sliding" I liked that, I kept it. | My nick comes from my fondness for sliding on snow. |
t3_1tajd2 | relationships | How do I (30m) maintain a good relationship with each of my parents (55f) and (59m) through an ugly divorce? | After 30 plus years of marriage, my parents have decided to divorce. In the past my father was unfaithful (when I was 6), my mother forgave him and they basically just stayed together for the kids. Now we're all grown and married and my mom has had enough. From my understanding, my father has recently been unfaithful and it was the last straw for my mom.
Things have gotten ugly between them and it looks like they're gearing up for a battle for assets. Since their separation, I have maintained a good relationship with both despite the unsavory news. I'd even venture to say my relationship with my dad has improved. My mom informed me today that since there is going to be a major battle for assets, I'm likely to hear more family secrets.
What resources are out there that might help me? I'm married with a family of my own and I'm worried about the added stress this will add to my own relationship? How do I keep from taking sides and maintain and positive relationship with both? | how to maintain healthy relationship with both parents through a divorce? |
t3_2szuv9 | relationships | Me [21F] with my friends with benefits [23M] since december. He is mad at me and I want to know what I can do? | I've been fwb with him for 4 weeks now and I actually wanted a relationship with
him and he was getting to know me. But after I left to go back to school, his texts
was getting less and he told me that he didn't see me as a long term but we were
still attracted to each other so we became fwb.
We laid out some ground rules and one of them was that I would not personally tell
him that I am going on a date with another guy. He was scared that he might care
or something.
But on saturday night, I posted a picture of me with my date night outfit and I
kinda made it clear that I was going on a date last night with the hashtag. I
checked my Instagram hours later and I found out that he unfollowed me. So I
texted him why he unfollowed me and I told him if it was about my recent post,
I'm sorry. I thought it was fine because we're friends with benefits and he doesn't
have feelings for me. AND I didn't personally tell him either and I thought it was
fine because it's my instagram and I could post whatever I want.
It's been two days and he still hasn't texted me back.So what should I do? I still
want to be friends with him. Did I do something wrong? | became friends with benefits with a guy because he didn't want a |
t3_13xb9d | AskReddit | If anyone has this dress, i will do anything in the whole world to get it (pref S/XS) | So this dress have been out of production for some time, but i know many have been sold, my girlfriend and i have been together for 5 years soon, and i thought if i could her the dress of her dreams it would be so amazing, Ill need it shipped to DK, but ill gladly pay for shipping and ofc the dress itself, any sizes from XXS-S is around the right size and would be gratefull if any would be willing to sell it to me.
also, if you know some where it still purchaseable i would gladly take a link (not shop name/location since i live in DK) ive been searching google alot and found only places where it was sold out. | searching for a dress, will do anything basicly, also pay for shipping |
t3_3e3j6x | relationships | I [18 M] gave my (Ex-)Girlfriend [18 F] an second chance after she cheated on me. My parents have null tolerance for that. | My (Ex-)Girlfriend have cheated on me about twice while we were in a LDR.
I broke with her about an month ago because of all the drama we had plus the multiple cheating. I were hearthbroken of course we were about an year together just then when it all happend. So hearthbroke I was I was telling it my parents (I still live with them).
So she called me today and explained me the whole situation (it weren't really possible before because of all the drama that happend altogether) so she fucked up really hard and yeah - I'm aware most of the advices I got after the breakup were never contacting her again or atleast never get together "Once cheating always cheating" - however against all the advices we kinda got together again today.
Now it starts to get difficult since we're now (again) in a LDR (for an unknown time, made a date for a meeting in 2 weeks for around 2 weeks since we both have holidays) and I kinda need the money for the train ticket from my parents (being dependend really really sucks!) I asked them.
They declined with the reason of "No. Once she cheated on you - it'll always happen again". They're so fucking naive (or maybe just I am) but it will stop me from travelling to her.
Welp. We really wanna see eachother but my parents kinda block it and I tried talking to them (multiple times in a timespan of 2 weeks) they're still "No". | Girlfriend cheated on me broke up 2 months ago and today we got together agai. We're in a LDR and my parents won't "allow" (don't give me (at least a part of it) money for the travelling cost.)). What can we do ? We're both still in school therefore we don't earn money. |
t3_1he7ox | relationships | Me[17M] getting with a [17F] Just looking for clarification. | I hae liked this girl for a good few months now and I think she may like me. She always makes comments about my body saying I'm hot to one of our mutual friends. She is a 8.5/10 and she and others have told me I am an 8/10, we both get a long really well and share a lot of common interests.
I recently went to the third party that she has also been to and at all of them we have done something with each other. At first it was lots of touching and hugging then went to hours of cuddling watching TV. At the last party we almost had sex.
At this party I kissed 4 girls including her and she kissed 3 guys including me. We did everything but have sex, I could tell she wanted it but neither of us had protection so we refrained from it. That night after kissing for a straight 2 hours she slept in my arms on the bed.
In the morning when we had woken up she didn't talk to me until later that day. She wouldn't even go into the same room as me.
We have also been to the beach as a part of a larger group. At the beach every time I looked at her she was looking at me, checking out my body, so I think she is attracted to me.
Normally I would have gone for her by now but I spoke to her best friend (who used to and may still like me) and she told me to just give up with it. I'm struggling to do so and since the party I cannot get her out of my head. Unfortunately for me I am not the only who likes her, pretty much every guy my age likes her.
What do you guys and girls think I should do? Should I take her best friends advice and leave it or should I keep trying? Thanks for the help! | Really like girl, she might like me, nearly had sex, best friend told me to not go for her |
t3_38z7i4 | relationships | Me [21 F] broke up with my BF of over a year. How soon can I start using Tinder? | We just broke up this past Friday and it was pretty bad. He's done a lot of fucked up shit to me, and I stuck around. But now we're broken up and I've never been more sure that it needs to stay this way.
Anyway, I'm so disconnected socially... I don't have any friends (he was really my only friend I had that didn't already graduate and leave town), and I am honestly looking for a way to get my mind off of things. I was thinking about joining Tinder again, which I haven't used since the last time I was single.
We both live in a college town, so there a definite possibility that his friends on Tinder would see me on there. I mean, I know I shouldn't care what he thinks about me being on there, but do you guys think it's too soon? Like I said, we JUST broke up this past Friday... But our relationship has been bad for the past few months and very on and off... However, this time it's really over with and I know we can both agree with that. What are the possible repercussions I may face from doing this?
I really have no good reason for going on there. I'm not anticipating finding a "rebound" relationship, and I just think it would be a nice way to talk to guys just for the hell of it... Nothing else. | Me and my douche ex BF just broke up this past Friday, and I am socially deprived/bored and was wondering if it would be too soon to join Tinder. |
t3_3cyoqv | relationships | Me [24 M] with my ex-girlfriend/fiance [21 F] 1.5 years, She joined my cellphone plan while I was deployed and is racking up charges and fees | Hey all, this is my first reddit post so apologies if I broke any rules.
I deployed to Afghanistan in October 2014 to April 2015. My girlfriend (soon-to-be financé) and I combined our cellphone plan and insurance when I left. She also took watch of my dog. Well, mid way through my deployment, she decided she didn't love me anymore.
I tried to reignite things to no avail. So I was "convinced" (manipulated) to give my dog up to her because it wouldn't be "fair to the dog." Heartbroken over losing my dog and my partner, I gave up without much fight.
I severed our ties with the insurance and cellphone plan, but I experienced a hiccup. She added the Edge plan for Verizon (without me knowing). Verizon won't let me kick her off the plan unless I pay the fee ($412 termination). She refuses to pay this fee and because its in my name, I'm stuck with the bill. I'm tired of being handcuffed to this plan that I rarely use. She consistently uses the data up and it's a constant stab to a still pretty fresh wound.
I'm not looking for my dog back. Or my time back. Those are lost causes. Due to some unfortunate financial circumstances, I can't pay that fee and I'm stuck paying the overages every single month. And am constantly reminded of her because of it. I just want to terminate the plan and sever the ties with her, but she won't pay the fee. I set up a GoFundMe because I honestly don't know anything else to do. | I can't afford to kick my ex off of my cell phone plan and I don't know what to do |
t3_2qn3ff | tifu | TIFU by finally having sex with my girlfriend | A Little Background: My girlfriend and I have been dating for around 8 months, and during the past 2 I have been desperately waiting to have sex with her, since she is still a virgin and wanted to make sure I was really worth it before doing anything serious like that. I get that. She wanted to wait until she was on birth control until we had sex for the first time because she was deathly afraid of any problems with the condom breaking. Finally our hormones got the best of us and we had sex on my birthday (before birth control). Not exactly as planned, but Great!
Now fast forward one day from our first time. We're horny and ready for round 2. We are ready to get it going hot and fast, we're going and going and it seems like forever. It's amazing but hey, when you're done you're done. I look down to realize that, lo and behold, the condom broke! We went and got plan B and she started her period so we know that we were lucky, but I have never seen her this sad. I feel horrible about the whole thing and I feel that it's my fault she is so down on herself and even though I know it will pass, It just sucks. | Girlfriend and I had sex for second time, worst fear realized, girlfriend can't look at herself the same, I feel terrible. |
t3_sesyf | AskReddit | Why is it that some people have a better memory than others? | Two weeks ago my grade had this biology test and we got back the results today. One of my friends got a relatively higher score than the rest of us and when I asked her how much she had studied for the test she told me that she only studies the night before the test while watching tv. I was completely stunned by that and asked her how she studies and when she told me that she only reads through the material we got while in class and her notes a couple of times I wanted to rip her into pieces. Even though I rewrite the things I have learned and the information I got, read through everything I can find on that subject and rewrite my notes for three nights before the test she still always get a higher score than me in such subjects. I can't help but to notice that she never do more than average in subject like math that requires that you solve problems by yourself or others subjects where you have to motivate your answers. Based on this and her ass kicking skills in memory (the game) I am starting to believe that she just has a really good memory, but why? Why do some people have a better memory than others? | The title |
t3_g48c7 | AskReddit | Share your funny/embarrassing/regret filled stories of introducing friends to each other | I live in university accommodation, and share a floor with 10 other people that I only met a few months ago. I invited two of my best friends over for drinks tonight. This was only the second time my best friends had met the people I'd been living with.
Everyone got pretty wasted, and by the end of the night one of my friends had lit his pubes on fire and made my kitchen smell like so bad it made me gag, and the other thought it would be hilarious to wipe his ass on our table (which 10 others and I share), and left a fucking shit stain on top of it (don't ask... apparently he wasn't taught how wipe his ass)
I had left them in the kitchen and I was in my room at this point. The people I live with were smashing my door and telling me to get my friends the fuck out of the house haha. As disgusting as it was, it was fucking hilarious (mostly because we were all so drunk).
Oh and the first time (few months ago) I introduced the guy who let his pubes on fire to my floor, he got naked and woke my entire floor up by screaming and running into peoples bedrooms he doesn't even know. Fuck, I love my friends, but they are such embarrassing assholes haha. | I invited some friends over to my house to meet other (new) friends, and one left shit stains on my kitchen table whilst the other burnt his pubes off. |
t3_3ninmx | relationships | My [24F] mom [62F] sent my atheist friend [32M] a bible after I asked her not to and I'm really angry. | I made the mistake of telling my mom that my best friend is an atheist about a year a go after she kept interrogating me about what religion he is. From then on she has been badgering me about how he heeds to "get saved" and asking if she can send him a bible in the mail (he lives in another country.) I would always tell her absolutely not to do that and she needs to quit trying to convert someone who has no interest in religion.
Well, yesterday I got a call from him asking why I sent a bible in the mail to him; I had to embarrassingly tell him that I did not send him the bible and explain that my mom did it because she wants him to get saved. He was upset that she is trying to convert him - but said he understands the situation and that I should just forget about it.
I confronted my mom last night and she got extremely defensive and said she didn't do anything wrong. I am so angry right now that she did this after I asked her not to I really feel like I can't trust her anymore. | My mom wants my atheist best friend to get saved and sent him a bible after I told her not to. |
t3_4n2om0 | tifu | TIFU by trying to eliminate hassle | My company reimburses me for any car rides I take home when I need to stay late in the office to work (past 8pm). I generally take uber, and for a while, had to print out every receipt at the end of each month to get reimbursed. I stay late in the office a lot, so printing out 20+ individual receipts one at a time (I don't think there's a way to mass print) at the end of every month to submit to my expense department seemed like a big hassle. A couple months ago, one of the girls in the expense department offered to print out the expenses for me if I gave her my uber website login credentials. Seemed like an easy way to eliminate an annoying hassle, so I agreed.
Today I found out that uber's website has been displaying incorrect timestamps in the website, which don't match to my emailed receipts or to my phone log. I found out because questions were asked why I was consistently going home at 4am or 5am in the morning. There's a lot of work to do in the office, but not THAT much. The expense department won't reimburse me until I show them a screenshot of my phone log and an emailed receipt for every ride that looks suspect on the website. Also, manager wants to sit down and talk about how I can manage my workload better, which is going to require a lot more explaining than I care to do. | Tried to eliminate hassle at work, generated at least double the hassle |
t3_152iwi | AskReddit | Reddit, Why do you play violent video games? Do you feel that it makes you aggressive? | With all of the media hooplah going on about motives and links between violent school shooters, first person shooting games have once again come to the spotlight. What is your reason for playing these games and do you believe that you have increased aggression?
I've played every first person shooter from Duck Hunt to Doom, to Duke Nukem, to Goldeneye, right up through Battlefield and Call of Duty, and continue to play every day. When I played WWII shooters as a youngster, I felt like it compelled me to learn about history and made me curious about the world at that time.
Now it is just a way to play socially online with my old college and high school friends to see who has better hand-eye coordination, not even paying attention to shooting or violence.
Football is an aggressive sport encouraged by schools, parents, and society, where hundreds if not thousands of athletes get injured every year. Concussions, broken bones, and even death are real possibilities day after day. Why aren't people feverishly trying to ban football? | I believe violent video games made me a competitive and curious individual, not a stone cold killer. |
t3_4xx4zp | relationships | My [20F] boyfriend [20M] doesn't remember texting his ex | [first post here](
I talked to him a long time and asked if he ever texted her first. He said only a little in the beginning of the relationship because apparently every month they would text and try to be friends again, something he never told me about. I admitted that I read some of the texts and that I knew he texted her recently. He said he didn't remember. I said that he texted her a couple weeks ago, and he sent her a poem, he said he didn't remember. So none of my questions really got answered because he can't remember.
I asked why he didn't think that him talking to his ex late at night would be something that he should tell me, he said he didn't think it was a big deal. I asked him if the situation was reversed what would he think, he admitted he would be a bit worried.
I don't really know where to go from here. I know I should forgive him, if not for him then for me, because I still feel sick and anxious about it all. But at the same time, who knows how long it was really going on, because if he can't remember texting her fucking 2 weeks ago, when he didn't ever delete his conversation with her until a few days ago, they were probably texting our whole relationship at least once a month and he didn't think it was important to tell me. And I feel really hurt and uncomfortable about that.
There's nothing he can do because he can't remember, and I want to forgive him, but I know that I'm going to be alternating between forgiving him, forgetting about it, and being upset about it, because that's the way my brain works and I hate it. I don't want to lose him but we both are getting "beginning of the end" feelings and I don't know what to do.
Am I right to still be upset? How do I forgive him and move on? | My boyfriend forgets texting his ex and I don't know how to forgive him and move on |
t3_ovu7x | relationship_advice | For the past month boyfriend is neglecting me and does disrespectful things, is this the end? | Ages: me 20, him 28. 10 month relationship.
I had not spent the night with him in over a month because he had been busy, i live like 15 minutes away, i was supposed to spend the night a couple of nights ago, but he ended up cancelling two nights in a row. last night he didn't cancel so i went to his house, when i got there around 6, he said hi and that he had to go have dinner with his female friend, so he just left me sitting in his room, even tho i recently had a seizure and was scared and needed him to comfort me he just left, then he didn't get back untill 10 at night, i was just sitting in his bed watching tv and he said he was back and didn't even kiss me or anything then said he needed to work on the computer for an hour or so, so he left and didn't come to bed untill 3 in the morning then refused sex.
I'm fucking PISSED OFF and thinking of just ending it. just need some support because he seems to think i am over reacting, and when i tell him that i am upset because of my health issues and that he is neglecting me, he tells me my problems are not real problems and that his problems are actual real problems. fuuuuck this, this is a unhealthy relationship isn't it? | havent hung out in a month, cancels things a lot, finally stay the night he leaves to go to dinner with his female friend for 4 hours and just leaves me in his room, comes back then works on the computer untill really early, again leaving me alone in his room. |
t3_3d27nb | relationship_advice | I'm [18/M] New friend [24/M] betrays my best friend [17/F]. Do I stay friends with him? | I'm sorry if this is in the wrong sub-reddit but I think it's relevant to the theme.
So we have 3 people besides me, best friend we'll call Jenna (17/F) and another dude named Dan (24/M) that is a mutal friend and E (20/M) that is Jenna's BF. Me, Jenna and Dan were hanging out all the time and becoming closer. Jenna and Dan both liked each other but Jenna has a BF (Ian) that she doesn't want to leave because he is really depressed and she was trying to be loyal. Dan ended up saying I'm not interested in a friendship, choose Evan or me (Dan). She ended up choosing Ian so their not seeing each other at all anymore.
I have such good times hanging out with both Jenna and Dan and I would choose Jenna over Dan if push came to shove. Is it ok to be friends with Dan even though he pulled a dick move on Jenna? I would say Dan is starting to become a really close friend, although the way he deals with relationships is something I wouldn't agree with. He said last night that we might have to stop being friends, we're still friends on Facebook though. If I do end up leaving Dan do I just delete him on Facebook, do I end up saying something like 'I think you're a really cool guy but I want to be loyal to Jenna'? I could ask Jenna if it would be fine if I stayed friends with Dan but I think she might lie to make me happy. | Dude betrays my best friend, do I still be friends with him? |
t3_26fot2 | relationship_advice | Am I [20/F] asking too much of my boyfriend [25/M] before boys' night? | Every Saturday my boyfriend of two years goes over to his buddy's house to play cards out night. It's no biggie (most of the time), but I'm frustrated because I feel like I don't see him enough during the week (he works, comes home and naps, then gets on the computer for hours). I really wish he would devote half as much time to me as he does to boys' night. I would give almost anything for him to come home from work and spend the evening with me (no computer or video games involved), without having to ask him to like he does with cards.
We do spend time together, but it's usually at family functions, driving to said family functions, running errands, or right before bed (for that whole five minutes before he passes out). We try to do one date night a week, but I would really appreciate a little more (especially because as soon as we walk in the door after dinner or whatever, he goes straight to the computer). When we do spend time together, things are great and we get along well and have fun. Besides our disagreement on how time is spent, we have a pretty solid relationship. However, this is something that bothers me and I don't know how to get him to do something about it.
I love him a lot, but it frustrates me that he will play video games with the guys every night, but doesn't understand why I get so upset when he doesn't use that time with me instead for one night a week (he's going to see them the next day!). I've explained time and time again that it makes me feel less important than his games and friends and he promises to make it up the next day but just ends up sleeping it off. I know he uses games as an escape (our living situation is horrible right now), but that doesn't mean I don't want to see him. I really don't want to nag, but I'm getting to the end of my rope with all of this. How do I get him to understand that I need to see him for a bit before he goes? Am I asking for too much? Thanks in advance! | I wish my boyfriend would spend time with me before his boys' nights. He plays video games with them every night, but I wish he would take a break once a week for me before he goes. |
t3_n85wv | relationships | Gave it my all, but can't commit to caring for SO's child. Is leaving the right thing? | I am 23 (f). My SO is 31 (m). He has a 10-year-old son from a previous toxic relationship, in which the mother cheated on him and left him.
We've been together 5 years. Monogamous, no break ups, no cheating. When we met, he was bitter, unhappy and in a terrible living situation. I helped him put his whole life together, at the cost of living my own independence and youth, and now, we're about to come up on a year in which I've been acting as a full-time mom basically after his kid's mom stepped out of the picture.
I feel like I don't have anything left to give - I'm desperate for the chance to live my own life, make my own choices, and not have so many people depending on me so constantly and strongly. I love them both with all of my heart, so this kills me... but I feel like I just can't commit to being the partner and fill-in mom they need.
He didn't ask me if I wanted to be an essential step-mom - his son's living situation was just deteriorating so quickly that he needed to care for him, and I felt obligated to be there to help, since they come as a package deal.
I feel like I've given our stable living situation lots of time to come together, and I'm still not happy. I think I need to leave, but I feel like shit and a horrible person about it.
Advice, thoughts appreciated. | SO of 5 years has full custody of his kid for the last year - I don't think I can deal with being a fill-in mom or responsible for a family anymore and think I need to leave, and feel horrible about it. Want advice. |
t3_2sdnue | offmychest | Moving is Terrifying | My husband discovered an apartment that he is in love with. It is way bigger than our current one and he is so certain that we should move there. However, I feel like the cons outweigh the pros.
The place is only $40 less a month than where we currently live. Having more space for less money is great, but it is just the two of us, we don't need that much space.
Moving will add 30 minutes to my husband's commute. The town we would be moving to is not a great one and the neighborhood does not have a great reputation. I don't think I will feel safe there alone and my husband frequently stays out late at night.
Moving will also use up all of the savings we have been struggling to amass in hopes of buying a home eventually.
Is $40 and an extra room worth our savings and my sense of safety? I'm not sure. Yet I'm often afraid of change and I wonder if I am making too big a deal of this. It us frustrating feeling terrified and like I am overreacting at the same time. | Husband wants to move. I'm scared like a big old wuss. |
t3_1ikmk7 | relationships | Just found out that my wife[26F] and I[25M] are expecting our first child and need help breaking the news to our parents. | Hi everyone,
For the past couple of months my wife and I have been tiptoeing around the idea of having a child. She missed her period last week so I went a got a pregnancy test and low and behold, shes pregnant!
We have been trying to think of a creative way to break the news to our families but neither of us are very creative when it comes to stuff like this. She did find some good ideas on different blogs and youtube but I figured it would be a good idea to ask the reddit universe before we made a final decision on how to tell them. | My wife and I need help thinking of a creative way of telling our parents/sisters/brothers that they are going to be grandparents/aunts/uncles. You guys are super creative, where as we am not. Please help us make this moment special! Thank you. |
t3_ezcbk | relationships | Broke up with me over a month ago. 3 year 8 month relationship | So I was dating this guy [25] for 3 years 8 months. I'm 21. We lived together our whole relationship, sharing various apartments. When we broke up last month, he moved in with his ex [of 4 years] and has started living there. They live a few blocks away from my apartment.
He has taken what he claims as his [even though I purchased it all] but he still comes by very often. He hasn't given me the apartment keys back, taken himself off our lease, and he doesn't tell his current girlfriend he comes to see me almost daily.
So he shows up whenever he wants, without warning, sometimes really late at night, because of "problems" at his current place. He also spends the day here when his girlfriend is at work [monday to friday].
I am terribly afraid to have any guy friends over because I have no idea when hes going to show up. We are not dating anymore but he tells me we will get back together soon. Its already been over a month, and I am having a really hard time beleiving him.
He constantly complains about his new girlfriend, and his new place, but everytime I tell him to just "come home" he doesn't respond or changes the subject.
I am very confused about where our relationship stands and I would really like to ask for the keys back, but I am afraid i'm going to offend him or seem like I am pushing him out of my life. I really love this guy and he was the one who broke up with me. Despite the fact that we had problems, I saw our relationship going places. | Ex moved out, still has house keys, shows up unexpected, spends time here when his girlfriend is at work, complains about her, and doesn't tell her he comes over here. How do I initiate the right conversation to end this confusion/mess? |
t3_3unqi9 | relationships | Me [27 M] with my gf [27 F] 6 months, Drunkenly read my GF's text messages. She doesn't know if we'll work out because I'm not sexy. | I got really drunk (I'm not excusing it, merely explaining why I would even consider violating her privacy) and read her messages. I'm overweight, and she hasn't been as interested in sex or kissing lately.
Now every time we have an opportunity to eat I'm extra insecure about not eating properly. Understand that I was already exercising and eating better before I discovered this. But, I do have quite a lot to go before I'm there. I'm feeling ridiculously unattractive right now and I don't know what to do. Do I confess that I looked through her messages, or do I ask why she's not as interested in sex even though I feel like I just read the answer?
I don't know what to do. I feel like a complete scumbag for looking through her messages. | Got drunk and read Gf's phone, says she isn't sure we'll work out long term because she feels she might be shallow and I am not sexy (I'm overweight). |
t3_3yvqaw | relationships | I (15/m) am in love with my best friend (15/f) | I am a 15 year old male, and I am in love with a girl who also happens to be my best friend. She is extremely pretty and beautiful, and I am (in my opinion) unattractive and short. We have everything in common, we like the same shows, books, we have the exact same sense of humour, and much more. That's what makes us such good friends, but it's also what made me fall in love with her.
A few months ago, before summer, I told her I had a crush on her, and she didn't return my feelings but told me it wouldn't affect our friendship. I always figured we would eventually get together once I asked her out. Then, a couple weeks ago, she got a boyfriend. He is much more attractive, fitter, and taller than me. When they started dating, I realized I was in love with her. However, all this time I was too stupid and stubborn to realize she only saw me as a friend and never had any intention of dating me.
I still remained very good friends with her after that, because, well we are best friends. Yesterday I told her I didn't have feelings for her anymore, just to make her more comfortable. She was very relieved. Every time I see them together, as we all go to the same school, I feel like dying. I have cried almost every night since they got together.
I want her to be happy above all else, but I just want her to be happy with me. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Sadly, she never liked me and probably never will. I want to get over her, but I can't live without talking to her every day. I just want her to love me too. Advice and support is appreciated :) | In love with my best friend. She is dating someone else. |
t3_32t7ky | loseit | Questions about exercising. | Hey there, not sure if this is the place to ask this but I have been trying to diet on and off (I know, I need to just keep at it and excuses are not a reason.) But lately I have been going to the gym with my friend which has helped me quite a bit getting exercise in. However, yesterday I noticed something.
When I started 2 or 3 weeks ago, my squat max was quite pathetic on what it was compared to in high school. In high school I was maxing out at 285lb when I weighed 115lb. I think my squat max 2 weeks ago was somewhere around 180. But yesterday, I somehow manage to get that up to 240 pounds. Which makes me think that I don't have any fat in my legs, which also made me conclude that I don't have much fat in my arms either.
I think all of my fat resides in my belly and on my back. I currently weigh 165 pounds (I'm 5'3" so I am short) and I am attempting to get down to at least 130 by the end of the year. I know it's not much to lose, but with my eating habits and my love for video games doesn't help much, it also doesn't help that my friends and family live so far away so I can't play any soccer with anyone around.
Anyways, so my question to you guys is do I keep going to the gym and weight lift? Or should I be doing more cardio with dieting on top of that? Any help would be greatly appreciated. | Started weight lifting with friend, realized I only have fat in stomach and back, need to know if I need to change exercise to cardio and dieting. |
t3_34s96u | relationships | Me [18 M] with my gf [18 F] of two years minus a few month breakup. Her friend asked me for permission to make out with her. | Me 18, and my SO 18. We met two years ago and dated up until January this year. She had another bf for a short time but left him to get back with me. That was a month or so ago. She has this friend she met threw a mutual friend of theirs. They particularly hangout because my SO poses for photography nothing nude (that I know of).
Her friend likes photography and takes really professional pictures, so I didn't care too much about it. Then she started posing in bra and panties. I didnt still didn't mind because she's 18 and she can do what she wants within reason. Then this "friend" go is at least 20+ has two kids and a husband, called asking for permission to make out with her. I don't feel comfortable with any of that now, I know my SO wont stop hanging out with her though. Should I be worried about this? My relationship just got really weird and uncertain. | My SO's photographer/friend just called asking for permission to make out with my SO. |
t3_2sw5f2 | relationships | (22m) My roommate (25m) hit his girlfriend (20f) two nights ago and I don't know what to do | Long story short.
My roommate had been in an abusive relationship with his girlfriend for about a year now. He's cheated on her multiple times, calls her a slut/whore, and for the first time (that I know of) hit her.
I honestly don't know what to do and I feel this situation is just to big for me.
Some backstory:
We all go to the same university and, other than his view of women, he's a really funny great guy to be around.
I just feel like hitting her was the last straw and I can't be friends with him anymore. I thought he was getting a lot better because I confronted him about the verbal abuse and he stopped (in front of me) for the most part. I just can't ignore the fact that he hit her. That's like a big deal and what if he does it again? What I know is that he pushed her to the ground (she's less than 100lb and he's over 200lb) and smacked her so hard he woke up my other roommates. We have a lease for 4 more months.
They were both drunk and she won't leave him because she says she has no one and believes that he will never do it again.
He doesn't know that everyone knows.
I was thinking that maybe I should tell him that I know what he did and that I can't be friends with someone who hits his girlfriend and that we should just pretend that the other doesn't exist and that I'll call the cops if it happens again. I'm afraid that he'll break the lease or get violent. | My roommate hit his girlfriend, and my other roommates and I don't know what to do. |
t3_26vzdt | relationships | Me [21F] broke up with my BF [22 M] of 2yrs, giving me a couple days to think things over... | Broke up a week ago - or so I thought. We got in a fight at his apartment and he started swearing at me a ton. Every other word was just a swear. Eventually I said "If you keep speaking to me that way I will leave". I'm not the type of girl to just sit there and take it.
In the end he basically started throwing my things at me and kicking me out at 1:30 AM, all my belongings in hand. I was forced to walk home, about 1-2 miles.
He came back to my apartment a week later, knocked at my door, profusely apologizing. He waited 2 hours on the ledge for me to wake up and come to the door. He said sorry a lot but what set of a red flag, for me, was that he thought kicking me out was "normal" relationship behavior, and told me his parents did it a lot. He said he didn't think it was as big a deal as I thought it was. Although, in the end, he did say this sort of thing will never happen again.
I said I couldn't just trust him that easily again. He gave me a couple days to think about it before really breaking up. I love him, he is a sweet guy (he'd never hit me or anything), but I find this incident hard to forget. He's a very sentimental, yet emotional kind of guy. Opinions? Did he just make a forgivable mistake? Am I blowing things out of proportion? | BF kicks me out, apologizes, gives me couple days to think things through. |
t3_2z5o1c | tifu | TIFU by walking into the wrong tent. | For once this F up did happen today, in the early hours of the morning.
As a 14 year old I have a REALLY small bladder for some reason and seem to need to go to the toilet once every couple of seconds. Some pals and I are doing a DofE (Google
it if you're not British) Bronze training expedition. This requires you to camp for one night at a camping site with a tent etc. Skip to the FU: It's about 3am in the
morning and as usual: I need the toilet.I let my tent-mate know what I am doing and hop outside with my head torch and leave the bottom part of the tent zip open - so that I don't go into the wrong tent. I then walk away into the bushes to do my business. After leaking my liquids, I stroll back to my tent, feeling a lot better and ready to go to sleep. I find the tent with the zip slightly undone and open it up. I then proceed,to my horror, my walking pal (who's a girl) getting changed into warmer clothing. She happened to have not fully zipped up here tent and so it looked like then purpose unzipping I had made. I back away hoping she hadn't seen my face in the early morning darkness. Turns out she did see my face and now I can't look at her the same way. We made a 'truce' to never speak of it again, or tell anyother person at our school. Reddit does'n count so here you go! | Went in wrong tent to find the wrong person getting changed. |
t3_2vndjf | relationships | How do I [21F] break off my open relationship with my boyfriend [23M] whom I'm madly in love with? | We've been together for around 18 months to varying degrees of seriousness; we started off as FWBs before becoming a titled 'boyfriend and girlfriend' event. We've always been open, which has exponentially enhanced the quality of our relationship in comparison to those of our monogamous friends, and we've discussed at length the greatness of the love lives that we have as a consequence of being open.
However, recently, neither of us have really engaged with anyone else beyond drunken kissing etc., and I think that I've become too comfortable in what is *de facto* monogamy. We went to a dating event together this week and as a result, my boyfriend is going to meet up with another girl again. Since finding out, I've been experiencing real pangs of jealousy that I'm increasingly struggling to rationalise away and I can't seem to make myself come to terms with 'sharing' him. We've argued a lot this week (mostly due to my underlying resistance to the situation) and I think that it's time to wake up, smell the coffee and end it.
He's explicitly expressed that he wouldn't enter into another monogamous relationship so that isn't an option. Along with that, I don't think that enforced monogamy would suit us at all anyway. Give me some advice as to how to break up with someone that I am ultimately in love with! | Boyfriend and I are open - I'm now crazily jealous when he wants to meet up with other girls. How do I end it although I love him? |
t3_26nqen | relationships | Unsure if I should reach out to estranged kleptomaniac sister or how to go about it | Quick background: My step sister of 21 years and I had a major falling out about 10months ago... At my wedding. About 6 years ago our parents divorced, I was out of the house and she was 17. She had a history of taking things from relatives, friends of parents, me. But it really came to a head when they separated. She took thousands of dollars worth of jewelry from my mom, including some heirlooms which were intended to be mine. Only a few things were recovered. When she was confronted with the stolen items she had a break and attempted to leave but rammed her car into the garage, I was told that she was put on a 72hr hold.
I have never been upset with her over the missing items. I would much rather have my sister in my life than any material possessions. I attempted to reach out to her but was living a cross the country and she was being held on lock down at her moms. We had minimal contact for the next 5years, we had never really talked about what happened. Last year we were finally living in the same city and really had a chance to reconnect, she helped tremendously with my wedding.
At the wedding I guess my husband was describing her as my 'crazy' sister (she's one of three sisters). She got drunk and upset, I don't blame her, but then we started arguing and somehow all the past theft came up. She vehemently denied any of it ever happening. She also has a history of compulsive lying- a lot of it is just ridiculous, and I usually let it slide. But I can't seem to with this. I miss her company, I miss having her in my life, but I don't know how to have a relationship with her when we have this huge elephant in the room. I feel that we could be fine if she would even acknowledge what happened, she was young and under stress, but to flat out deny that it ever happened... Idk. | step sister stole a bunch of jewelry and had a mental break about 5 years ago, the first time it ever came up with us was 10months ago and now she denies it ever happening (she has a tendency to lie compulsively); I don't know if I should try and reconnect with her... Or even how to go about it with this huge elephant in the room. |
t3_36vn5o | relationship_advice | (19m) My girlfriend (19f) won't stop complaining about me and getting upset on a daily basis | i've been with her for a year and two months now just about. we have great, seriously great moments together and i do love her very much. but lately there's been a time of day every single day where she nitpicks at something that really doesn't matter all that much and converts it to a dramatic, long conversation that results in the same thing, of us just forgetting about it.
she claims i'm too practical and not considerate enough. I can't agree, i try to see things from her point of view but in my eyes she creates problems when they aren't there.
i am very good to her and she doesn't disagree. I take her out, I'm nothing but nice to her and her family and friends, I am considerate of all the weird stuff involved with her and her family and all around I'm a great guy to her. she's a great girl to me, too; she would do just about any physical thing for me if i needed it. but when it comes to this shit, she just won't stop complaining. she claims it isn't her fault that she finds problems, and maybe it isn't, but it's still an issue and it's incessant. i don't know what to do anymore. | girlfriend likes to complain about trivial stuff that i do. it's gradually ruining our relationship |
t3_jkl11 | AskReddit | Reddit, please help me. I desperately need to get over my low self-esteem. | Hi Reddit. I'll be blunt: I have some crippling self-esteem issues, and I need some advice on how to overcomes them.
The story: I'm a 24 y/o male, in good shape, educated, caring, and blessed with a great job, and family that I love dearly, but my relationships (both romantic and platonic) have been severely hampered by my personal insecurities. Some of these stem from a very psychologically abusive relationship I've recently escaped from, where my gf would constantly put me down and outright mock me over every little character flaw (which sometimes even reduced me to tears). She would then comfort me, saying I'm lucky to have her, because no other girl would ever want me. I know that's not true, but now I have this voice in my head the just whispers about how worthless I am. This relationship went on for almost 2 years, until (at the urging of my friends) I finally broke away from it. Now, however, I'm finding it really hard to open up to people or get close to anyone, out of some bizarre defense mechanism I can't seem to shake off.
I've never been a really self-confident person (I was a bookworm in HS that was bullied almost constantly, which didn't help), but I was just a fairly average guy until recent years. I know this is a huge problem, but I don't have the money or time for therapy at the moment, and would really, really like some advice on how to get over my issues. If anyone who has been through the same thing can give me some much needed advice, it could really help me out. Can anyone help? | Abusive relationship contributed to horrible insecurities, and I need help getting over them. |
t3_2ceiau | relationships | Me [17 M] with my now ex-girlfriend [18 F] of a bit over a year, looking at solving things? | So, I apologize in advance if this is jumbled, I just broke up with my girlfriend of a bit over a year. Us being so young, it does feel like a long time. But about my problem.
We had both felt it coming for a couple weeks. We hadn't been doing as much, hadn't been talking very nicely. The problem (at least from my point of view) is that she doesn't put any effort into our relationship.
For example, she never makes plans, and as I am the one who is always stuck with the bill for both our date and gas, I find it really annoying that she doesn't even try to make plans, but lets me do all the work and then pay for it. Also, she never starts conversations, which makes just simply talking difficult.
She never initiates sex. I have asked her many times if she feels pressured, and she always says no, yet I always feel like I am not well received. Granted, she is very attractive, but I am not all that bad looking (or modest, apparently).
All of that being said, I love her. She cares about me, and once I talk to her, she will carry on a nice discussion. She is attractive, and is always accepting of my choices. I am often not very nice to her, and she always forgives me. She is a nice person, with whom I love being.
So when we broke up, we agreed that in a week we would meet again, and that If she could give me a reason to get back together, we would. Now I need to know, was this a mistake? Am I leading her on? I do intend to get back with her if she can show she cares, but how do I judge that? Any advice would be helpful. | Just broke up with girlfriend, left it open to re-kindle. Mistake? Advice? |
t3_38pk46 | relationships | [17F] This Girl [17F] is Mad at me for Talking to her Boyfriend [17M] | We all go to the same school, and they've been dating for like 6 months. I'm kind of friends with him, we talk at school and stuff but we don't hang out outside of school or anything. We were texting and some of the texts I sent were kind of flirtatious and I told him that I liked him, his girlfriend ended up seeing these texts, I'm not sure if she showed her in the first place or if she went through his phone and found it. Anyways then today at school she confronted me about these texts, she asked why I'd tell a guy I like him if I know he has a girlfriend, and I was just really nervous and caught off guard and I just said I didn't do it, and she said I was lying and stuff, she was talking in a really intimidating way and I'm not a confrontational person so I was nervous and I just said okay I'm sorry if you interpreted it that way, and she was like kay well I'd rather you not talk to my boyfriend ever again. And now I don't know what to do, I have a crush on him and I do also like him as a friend and I don't want to not be able to talk to him anymore, do you think she's over reacting? What should I do? | This girl is mad at me for talking to her boyfriend, she confronted me at school and I denied it and now I'm nervous. |
t3_38gdmi | relationships | Me [26 F] with my husband [29 M] of 6 years, are struggling with a long distance relationship and new baby | HIM: Wildland firefighter which keeps him away for weeks at a time. Has been away for work for just over 2 months
ME: A stay-at-home mom going to school online.
SON: 5 months old
Situation: I guess I just need some guidance. I can't help feeling abandoned and like my husband is choosing work over his family. I know thousands of military wives must feel this way but I just can't seem to shake it. I really do love him and when he's here he is a great father.
The part I can't get over is that he really is only working 1.5 hours away. Is it wrong of me to expect him to commute and see him more often?
I also feel like it has been a battle to get him to call me after work. I usually can only get him to talk to me for 15 minutes. I really look forward to the mental break of being able to converse with another human being rather than being cooped up with a whiny baby. He'll skip out on talking to me so he can go to the bar with coworkers or jet skiing on the lake after work. Don't get me wrong, everyone deserves to wind down after a long day of work but when do I get that luxury?
I just don't know how to talk to him without making him defensive. I don't want him to give up something he loves but I really don't want to be in this situation ever again. | husband works far away and struggles to help with parenting. |
t3_4a4dip | relationships | Me [22M] having trouble with first times with people | So, I've had three partners so far and each time i have had a hard time staying hard during our first time. I don't know if i'm just not comfortable yet with them or condoms are so bad for me(I literally barely feel anything and go soft fast.)
Also all three girls agreed to get the bar or go on the pill when i mentioned condoms just don't work for me and they have all been understanding, which was great. After that the sex was great and i had no problems, maybe because i had ease of mind not getting them pregnant or worrying about using a condom? But my biggest fear is meeting someone who won't be understanding. Is there anyone else like this? Is there anything I can do to combat this? | Need advice |
t3_4y20y7 | relationships | How do I [22 M] deal with my gf's numerous "guy" friends [22 F]? | We've been together for almsot a year now, and everything is going great! There has been one thing that has been bothering me a little bit and wanted to ask reddit. My girlfriend had an admittedly tomboy phase in her life and from this, she had more guy friends. She talks to guys a lot and she has a lot of close guy friends and sometimes it makes me uncomfortable.
Sometimes, when we're together I see her texting other guys, and I know it's nothing -- I trust her and I love her, but it just bothers me a little bit. I wanted to thus, ask reddit myself how to go about dealing with this problem. I know it's on my end, but how do other people cope with this?
She sometimes go on 1 on 1 lunches or dinners with guys. I know those guys too and I know they're just friends of hers, but does this feeling of discomfort normal? | GF has a lot of guy friends and are very close w/ them sometimes eating with them just them two. Should I be worried. |
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