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t3_1ccjeu | relationship_advice | [22/m]e my friend [22F] dont know what the next move is | So this is my odd situation, for this to make sense to you all i have to start from 2years ago. I met this girl in Spanish class and we hit it off. she enjoyed my company and i enjoyed hers. BUT she had a boyfriend at the time. eventually class ended and we kinda stayed in touch (we texted here and there very rare but when we texed i always felt there was something there). now a year goes by and she texts me 1st saying she has bf problems.( i was happy about the bf problems)we spoke on the matter and i tried being helpful. now in the present i texted her about a week ago just to see how she was doing. long story short she called me cried saying that she was being used so on and so forth. for the past week we have been textin each other for the the length of the day, even had a few phone call sessions. (mind you i haven't herd her voice in 2years). now yesterday we went to the movies(i paid) it was great i wanted to make a move or a gesture too kinda show her i wanna be more then friends but i kinda pussed out becuse i wasnt sure if she is ready to jump back into another relationship. (quick side note she was in a 5yr relationship) is it too soon to make a move? i'm aware that i am a rebound but what is the down fall of beeing a rebound? | girl i like got out of a 5 yr relationship,we talk alot, should i make a move?, and what are the negatives to being a rebound? |
t3_4aqswp | tifu | TIFU by expressing my sympathy | Last year the professor for one of my courses emailed us to let us know that class would be canceled for the day due to personal issues. I found out from a classmate that our professor's father had suffered a stroke.
A few days later when we had class again, I told him that I was sorry to hear about his father. He seemed sad but thanked me. WhenI told him I hoped his father would get better soon, he paused and said "okay" in kind of a strange way, and I went on to my next class.
Well, I found out later that his father hadn't survived the stroke. I felt like a jackass and decided to just hide from him for the rest of the semester the best I could, which was hard because my seat was in the front row of the classroom. | I told my professor that I hope his dead dad gets well soon. |
t3_x9y5j | AskReddit | "Communication is the foundation of any relationship" Reddit, what sage relationship advice did you not heed, and what were the results? | I recently ended a relationship with my girlfriend of close to a year mutually (I like running, she likes cooking, it would never have worked).
We decided to end it because there were too many little things that I didn't say or didn't understand when she was telling me things and we never sat down and really talked about it. I ended up drifting away from her and she tried to fill the gap by being even closet to me, which I felt was suffocating. I ended up being awful to her (like asking her why she put on makeup when we went out on a date, I know, I'm making things up to her) and we decided we were drifting apart and that we shouldn't be together anymore. We're still friends, but if we had talked about things, we might have still been together.
Time to man up and bring out those painful stories Reddit! What about you? | My girlfriend and I didn't talk out our problems and just let them fester, driving us apart, and causing us to break up. |
t3_2e0mfz | relationships | Me[21/M] needing some advice on whether to keep chasing after her[22/F] | Ok, so, pretty much, just very recently met this girl. We've hung out a few times over a month, she's wonderful, everything I've ever looked for in someone else, and I can honestly see myself spending the rest of my life with her. As of this post, we are exclusively dating.
The problem lies in that she has a few problems with her past. She's had an extremely traumatic past, to the point where I feel like she can't trust anybody on anything, and she's always guarded. And unfortunately, she copes by drinking nearly every night, and then blames me for not being there with her when she does.
She's said that she wants to try and leave it all behind and move on with her life, but if I'm not there, she'll default back to drinking, and it repeats. And I honestly don't have the freedom to spend every available night with her to try and stop her.
I really want to stay with her. When she's sober, she's sincere, honest, and I couldn't imagine anybody better. When she's drunk, she's aggressive, spoiled, and she really brings me down as a person.
I want to be there for her, to try and help her get away from all this, because to me, being alone in a situation like that would kill me. And from what it seems, she's been alone for a very long time. But I can't always be there, and it's tearing me apart.
Especially considering how little I've known her for, it wouldn't be hard for me to just drop it and walk away. But, I don't think I'm heartless enough to be able to do that to someone, especially since she has told me her past, and that got heavy.
I think I just need the advice of strangers right now. | Met girl who I'm positively smitten with, but the rabbit hole goes down FAR. |
t3_u8ak5 | AskReddit | Where should a Young Professional move? Any city in the US is an option! | Ok, so my fiance is a nurse. I will be graduating from Pharmacy school down the road. We are really beginning to get into talks about where to live in the future. I currently live in Cincinnati. I would like to move somewhere for a few years to just enjoy being young and having money for the first time in my life! I would like it to be a somewhat liberal city. So far, we have talked about moving to the Northeast (Mass, CT, VT, etc) or to like Colorado or Oregon (Portland). I really have never been to a lot of these places, and I am hoping that reddit can give me some feedback! Thanks! | Fiance is nurse, I'm eventually going to be pharmacist... What liberal city should we live in? |
t3_3hzkjm | legaladvice | [TX] I have put money down on a brand new house ($1000 earnest + $4000 in upgrades) and have found Rasberry Crazy Ants taking over the new construction. The builder will not refund my money. | Background info: 3 years ago my fiancé and I moved into a rent house close to my job here on the gulf coast. We saw a few ants, but assumed they would go away with regular treatment and moved in. Long story short - we spent 2 1/2 years fighting a never ending infestation of these insects that are impossible to get rid of. We would spray and the dead ants would pile up so high over a couple of nights that we would have to vacuum them up because the live ants were crawling over them to get into the house avoiding the poison.
Fast forward to this past April: My wife and I put money down on new construction and signed a no refund contract. We checked the property and other older houses in the neighborhood and saw no sign of these ants. We visit our lot everyday because we are excited to buy our first house. In June we start seeing SOME ants when they bring in sand to level the foundation, but don't want to believe they are what we think they are. They start getting worse, we take a sample in to a local exterminator confirming they are [Rasberry Crazy Ants] and eventually let the builder know that we are backing out.
They are willing to give our earnest money back, but refuse to refund our upgrade deposit stating that it's a local problem and they have no control. We know that once they invade, they are impossible to get rid of, cost thousands in monthly treatments to try to control, and don't want to deal with this in a brand new house.
Do I have any options? | We put money down on a brand new house, we start noticing Rasberry Crazy Ants we believe were brought in with their sand to level the house, builder won't refund our whole deposit. |
t3_ang99 | AskReddit | Financial aid/financial independence question | I'm currently an undergrad at an UC, and as many of you know they raised the tuition on us 32%, on top of the double-digit hikes in the past few years. I used to pay for college by working, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. Unfortunately, I don't qualify for financial aid even though my mom fell victim to the current recession, and I don't get any money from them.
Unfortunately, financial aid cutoffs don't adjust for the differences in the cost of living. My family lives at the heart of the Silicon Valley, and even after the housing market slump it's still one of the most expensive non-metropolitan area. They don't have the resources to help me out, yet I don't think I qualify for financial aid because of my dad.
Is that true? If I report my income/file taxes separately, can I declare myself independent, and get some help dealing with the UC tuition hikes? If anyone has any knowledge of how the financial aid system works, I'd be extremely grateful. | Parents can't help me cope with the UC tuition hike. What do I do? |
t3_1qerj0 | relationships | I'm [23 F] looking for a way to encourage my SO [25 M] to show more affection. | My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. As time has passed he has become less and less active in showing his affection. We cuddle before bed but other than that I initiate any affectionate contac. If I don't initiate, we don't kiss or even really touch each other *at all* unless we're about to have sex, and he doesn't really say I love you unless I say it first. It was not like this for the first year or two, he was very warm and affectionate, initiating kisses, cuddles, hugs, compliments etc.
I would like a little more of that from his end these days, but when I bring it up he gest very defensive and says he feels like I'm giving him homework. He also says that I should know that he loves me without all of that because he spends time with me and enjoys my company.
In general he tends to bottle his emotions and doesn't like to discuss them but that's ok and we tend to communicate pretty effectively regardless of that. I understand that showing his affection might not come very naturally to him but I'd like him to initiate at least some of it because receiving that kind of attention is very important to me in a relationship.
Is there a way to approach the subject or have him show some more affection without him getting defensive or feeling like it's homework, or should I just accept that he's not a very affectionate guy? | I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and the level of affection he initiates has plummeted. Is there a good way to gently encourage him to initiate more? |
t3_2czd83 | relationship_advice | Back again. 16[f] just told my boyfriend 15[m] I don't want to be with him anymore. | I texted him (yeah I know bad) that I just didn't want to prolong this anymore and don't want to be in the relationship anymore. I've felt like this a lot recently but when I said it to him I felt horrible. I couldn't stop crying and he was telling me that he loved me and to remember all the good times we had and that he would always accept me back. And I really do love him but idk if I shouldn't break up with him anymore. I'm so confused. I just feel so bad because he's such a great guy and I can't imagine him with anyone else. | I don't know if should get back with my boyfriend. |
t3_1t6m6v | relationships | Girlfriend [27] of a year and a half dumps me [25M] at least once a month, now saying she will change | So my girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year and a half and for the past six months to a year she has been breaking up with me over every little thing. It's really painful to go through because I never know when it will be over for good and I really care about her.
This past weekend she broke up with me and made it sound very final so I took it as such and have been distancing myself from her. She wants to get back together so I've explained that I am hesitant because I don't want to keep going through this. She has said that if I agree to get back together with her she will go for counselling, something that we have talked about a lot but that she has never done.
Should I do it? | Girlfriend keeps dumping me, not sure if I should take her back |
t3_4xbsem | relationships | [30M] in a happy relationship with [28F], but I have a crush on her [25F] sister | My girlfriend (Roxanne) and I have a happy, committed long-term relationship, going on over 4 years. I was a forever alone before meeting her and I never thought I'd find someone I connect with nearly as much as I do with her. We live together and we're practically married.
Before this relationship, I had no luck with women and getting crushes on any reasonably attractive woman who showed me attention was commonplace. I figured out that when I eventually realized the feelings weren't mutual, it was best to cut the crush out of my life completely, save myself the heartache and move on.
Back to Roxanne, we click on a physical and emotional level that I didn't think was possible. I want to spend the rest of my life with her and I don't have any doubts about that.
However, Roxanne has a sister named Marie. Now I'm very attracted to Roxanne, but I'm very very very physically attracted to Marie. Add to that Roxanne and Marie are very close and we live one block apart, so they're always at each other's houses. Which means Marie is always around at our house, at least a few times a week. Cutting her out of my life is pretty much impossible.
Now Marie and I get along well, but there's no chemistry at all. My crush is purely physical. Nothing has ever happened between Marie and I, no inappropriate flirting of any kind or any hint of it. Nor would I ever go ahead with anything with Marie. But lately, I've been having sex dreams about her. I can't help but be very excited when I find her in my house when I come home from work, chatting with Roxanne over dinner. It doesn't help when she complains about currently being in a bad relationship with no sex life to speak of and then praises me for being a great guy who treats her sister so well.
I can't stop my brain from all these intrusive thoughts about how attracted I am to Marie. Typically I'd just cut her out of my life, but that can't happen. What to do? | I'm very physically attracted to my future sister in law. I can't cut her out of my life because she's close to my girlfriend. How do I stop thinking about her? |
t3_19x3ih | offmychest | People who think others on Reddit are just "looking for karma" are so fucking stupid. | I posted an entry about a depressing situation in my life, a self-post mind you on a throwaway account that was clearly a throwaway account (that was the only post made on it AND it clearly had Throwawayblahblahblah in the account name). I thought I might be able to get something off my mind and write about it so I felt a little better. Someone called me on "looking for karma" as if that's all this site is about. Pardon me if I actually use this site to deal with larger issues than who has a bigger karma dick. It's not a pissing contest, and if you think it is you might need a life. | Some people on Reddit are idiots. But we already knew that. |
t3_20xk2h | relationships | I [21 M] need help telling an amazing girl[20 F] how I've felt about her for a long time, problem is... she is emotionally reserved. | I have been talking to this girl for a few months and I developed feelings for her, she seems interested in me (always replaying to my texts quickly and telling me she enjoyed our "hang outs") but sometimes she doesn't seem to respond to my subtle advances.
I picked up on a few things she has said and she does not strike me as the person who has been in a lot of relationships (or even one). So I'm having trouble talking to her the right way. We seemed to click the few times we went out, we joke around and have many laughs, but she avoids serious topics.
I consider myself a decent looking guy and I have some confidence, but she is the kind of girl that makes you freeze a little when you try (we all have experienced one).
So I need help from you guys. Some advice on how to talk to reserved women and get them to open up or come out of their shell would be extremely appreciated, Reddit could be the reason me and my future wife are together.
Thanks a lot for the help. | Been talking to this girl for a few months, want to tell her how I feel but she is emotionally reserved. How do I approach her and tell her to make sure she understands me and doesn't feel awkward or clamps up. |
t3_1b5k2u | relationships | Divorced Guy (40m) worries new girlfriend (38f) is cheating | My now ex-wife cheated on me after being married for 20 years. I think I've got over most issues related to that but I recently started seeing a girl (after a long period of not dating). I've been going out with her for about 3 months now and everything seems to be going great.
She swears she would never cheat on me (she knows what happened with my marriage) and I believed her near the beginning of our relationship but as we have grown closer, my insecurities stemming from my ex-wife's cheating are begininning to bubble up a bit. I suspect this is because I've grown to really like this girl and I worry about losing her.
Note, she has given me not indication of cheating. She doesn't drink nor does she go to bars or anything (I don't do this stuff either-not that there's anything wrong with that-it's just not for me.) She has a teenager whom she raises alone.
How can I force these stupid thoughts out of my mind? I just really like this girl and things are going great...maybe too great. I'm scared of losing her. | Recently divorced guy has a great thing going with new girlfriend but worries about her cheating due to ex-wife's cheating. |
t3_ubeof | AskReddit | I was told I would get lessons along with a screen printing setup I purchased on Craigslist, but the guy won't help me, what do I do? | I purchased a 4 color 4 station screen printing press along with flash dryer and extra light from a man on Craigslist. He said he has had over 20 years experience, and even printed the In&Out t-shirts. In the ad he stated that he will also include new genuine software, and he "will train for life" (lessons given each saturday).
First, I found out the software was just copies that he wanted to give me. Now, it's been two months since the purchase, he has been dodging my phone calls. He says his business is "remodeling" so he can't give me any lessons until it's over, even though before purchase he said I can learn in "2 hours".
I don't even care about the lessons anymore, but I've taken days off of work to meet him just to pick up the necessary materials such as inks and emulsions to get the process started myself, and he bailed on me without even a phone call.
He won't even tell me the name brands of what inks and chemicals to buy. I'm stuck looking like a liar in front of all of my friends, like I got scammed to my parents, and even more depressed myself.
I do not know what to do, Reddit. This is the one thing I was hoping to help me in times like this. I borrowed money from family to get it going and now it's worse than when I started. | Guy sold me screen printing machine and promised lessons, bailed on lessons, tried to give me pirated software, and won't even tell me what chemicals/inks to buy so I can attempt to do it myself. |
t3_16jj9z | relationships | My new SO is moving across the country. (F22/M24) | I'm going to make this short.
Basic info: F/22 M/24 We were **friends for like six years before we started seeing each other but we've been together for about two months.** I'm not going to say were casual but the transition from friends to significant others wasn't a traumatic one we basically just added sex and don't have sex with anyone else to our friendship. We didn't have any kind of romantic comedy grand gesture.
Yesterday he told me he is leaving in the fall because he was offered a paid coaching job at a college half way across the country and he would be able to go to grad school there for free. I'm not insane, so even though the distance was a bit shocking to me I obviously was excited for him its an amazing opportunity. I would kill him if he didn't take it. I go to school a few hours from where we live, I come home all the time because I have a lot of family responsibilities to deal with, we make that work pretty well but putting most of a country between us it wouldn't be as easy just to come and hang out for the weekend when we miss each other. I've had a lot of boyfriends never told anyone I love them before because its never felt right and its always been too big for me. With him it all feels so different and new like a breath of fresh air. I keep finding myself thinking wow I think I love you but I haven't said it out loud yet. I don't know if I want to continue to get more emotionally invested in him knowing there is a solid date he will be leaving and not coming home anytime soon. I have no clue how to deal with that. | New SO told me he is leaving this fall for an amazing opportunity that I would never forgive him if he didn't take it. I'm falling hopelessly in love with him. I don't know if I want to continue to get more emotionally invested in him knowing there is a solid date he will be leaving and not coming home anytime soon.**** |
t3_2lebo0 | relationship_advice | I [24/m] got broken up with by my [19/f] gf after being together for two years and now I am lost | So I was on here previously asking for help about my now ex girlfriend because she has had a dark past. Anyway she broke up with me about a week ago and literally it has been super hard to get past her. Ill leave you the short story but basically one month I was having a hard time with life and needed her. She said I got clingy, depressed, and just couldnt take being with him anymore to one of her friends. Truth is there were multiple months she has had these problems and I stuck it out for her but I had one month and she left. Anyway a week went by before I sent her a message saying im sorry for how I was I know it wasnt like me but I need to let you go. She replied finally after a week and we started talking about how she wants to date other people because one I am her first love and before we get married she wants to see what else is out there. She has said that maybe a few years down the road we can get together again but for now she needs to figure things out. The other reason is because she developed feelings for one of her friends. I told her when I am ready I will talk to her again.
Basically my question is should I just completely try to lose all feelings for her? I am not mad she wants to see other people because I do agree that if she wants to marry me she needs to be sure. But I feel like it isnt fair to me because basically she ended it with me instead of sticking it out and talking to me about everything. I guess I just need words of encouragement cause im not going to lie feeling like your heart is broken sucks. | girlfriend wants to see other people, stopped all contact, trying to figure out if I should rid her of my life forever. |
t3_4raty1 | relationships | My (19M) Girlfriend (19F) still checks up on ex-boyfriend (19M) who she had sexual relations with | Not sure how to feel about this. I don't know much about their relationship but my girlfriend of 4 months told me early in our relationship that she had hooked up with a guy she knew from school, before she met me, and they had sex once. This didn't bother me at first, until I found out that she was still talking to him while we had begun seeing eachother much more frequently.
We've talked about this and this isn't a problem anymore. She doesn't talk to him anymore, and we've had an amazing relationship for the past 4 months.
Today during a family party, we were messing around on our Instagram accounts and I happened to see her recent search history, which displays the most recent profiles she had searched up. This guy was one of them.
I immediately asked her what she was doing searching him up. She kept dodging the question and became progressively more aggresive, which made me think she is hiding something. After I pressed her more, she admitted that she searched him up because she "had sex with him" and wanted to "check up on him" and see "how he was doing." She had another ex boyfriend who she had sex with as well but she didn't keep tabs on him like this guy in particular. Which worries me.
Is this normal? Am I over-reacting? I have no one else to go to and I fear that she might be hiding something, which she has a history of doing. | Girlfriend hooked up with a guy before she met me and had sex with him once. Today I find out that she still checks up on him on social media. Her reason for doing so: "I had sex with him." |
t3_266hmx | relationships | Me [29 M] with my GF [31 F] of 8 months, how to tell her I want her out? | My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 months. We moved in together exactly 2 months ago to a nice renovated basement suite. Since moving in I have realized I don't want to be with her anymore. There are a lot of reasons why but nothing valid for "kicking her out."
I am in a 16 hour a day course for the next 4 months (this is no exaggeration) and I have no time to move. I want to break up with her and have it go smoothly so that she moves out.
How would I go about doing this? | want to break up with gf and have her move out. how can I have this happen? |
t3_1xeegc | relationships | Me [22M] with a couple[23 M/F] am I too annoying if I ask them to hang with me a lot? | Hi I don't have a lot of friends, but lately I have been asking 2 of my friends(which are a couple) to hang out, go to a bar, or for lunch and things like that. I have known them for a long time and they're cool, but if I don't ask them, they never do.
This month I decided that I wanted to go out more, and I have been calling them and like I said we go to bars or lunch, but I feel that maybe if I keep asking them I will annoy them and become that weird friend no one wants to hang out.
We usually have a good time and all, but I don't know I feel weird that I'm always the one that is asking them to do something. so what do you guys think? | I don't want to become annoying to some friends for asking them to hang out with me. |
t3_1c0229 | pettyrevenge | I hope you like expensive ham | First post on here. So, I work at the local Wal-Mart in the Meat Department and, as you probably know, there are some assholes that come to the store. Well, yesterday a lady came in and wanted to buy a ham, but that tag had come off, they were extremely cheap because it was past Easter. Instead of politely asking me to reweigh it and put a tag on it, she proceeds to go a on rampage about how I need to "do my fucking job."
I somehow control my temper and take the ham she wanted to the back and weigh it. These hams were marked down to 25% of the original price, but she didn't know this. I could've just tagged it the right way and be done with it, but this bitch needed to be taught a lesson. I weighed it at more than the original price and she ended up paying $28.00 for what should have been $19.00. Don't fuck with someone who controls what you pay. | Woman was a bitch so I made her ham $9.00 more than it actually was. |
t3_1qg29m | relationships | Me [26M] with my friend [26F] 1 year, best way to handle talking to her again after I cut off contact? | I (26M) met a friend (26F) through something we have a mutual interest in and we developed a good friendship. She's married and I only want a platonic friendship when it comes to something like this. I did some contract work in another state and had to leave the meetup group. Well I am coming back and plan on going back to it (it's a cycling hobby if it matters).
Through skyping/txting with her I found out her husband is devoid of any emotional support for her. So she started to look to me to fill that void. I don't mind helping out and have empathy for people and I understand people need to vent and just want someone to just listen. What I do have a problem with personally is that people should at least have some action on their problems. If it's just a bitchfest that comes full circle again and again I find it's a waste of my time and energy.
I just told her I can't deal with her emotional baggage anymore if she wasn't willing to do anything about it and I cut off contact. At the time I was dealing with my own issues at work and with my family and didn't need any extra weight on my shoulders. When I deal with those I don't include anyone, and just cut myself off from the world.
She was kind of taken aback at my response of doing NC and said what I did was heartless. Of course it made her cry. I apologized, but said I had to move on.
It's been 6 months since this happened and she will be back in my life unbeknownst to her when I come back to the meetup group we originally met each other through. A friend of mine had mentioned she still is the same emotional wreck she was before.
What's the best way to deal with this? Just apologize again and said I moved on or just don't say anything, the cold shoulder treatment? | Met a friend a year ago, helped her out as an emotional outlet during her rough patches. I cut off contact after she admitted to perceiving me only as her therapist and she made zero effort to change anything in her own life. Got tired of it and moved on. Now she'll be back in my life somewhat, and I am not sure the best way to deal with it when we meet each other again. |
t3_24w59n | relationships | I (26F) feel like I'm overly obsessed with my bf (27M), I don't think this is normal.. | When we first met we were both hooked. We couldn't get enough of each other. Our feelings were equal. We have lived with each other the entire time we've been together (2 years). My feelings have not died down in the least bit. He however, like a normal human, got comfortable and still loves me. This I all understand.
What doesn't seem normal to me is, after these two years I'm still thinking about him from the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep. Everything I do benefits me, and him also. We have a lot of common ground so often the things we do together satisfies my needs that I would get from doing things independently. This isn't saying we spend all day and night together. We do go out and run our errands and visit certain friends and family solo every week. Everything sounds like it's a great normal relationship. But the strength of my feelings for him and the lack of his romance (very un-romantic fella, I've accepted and don't mind) makes me feel like I'm overboard. I try and tone it down every day. I have to hold myself back from smothering him. I have never had this in previous relationships.
I really don't want my relationship to go sour because I love him too much. My anxiety gets out of control when I have to resist the urges of loving him to death. I know I sound super nuts and clingy. Maybe I am, I just don't know how to handle these feelings and get him off my mind. He knows I feel this way, he has no suggestions either. He becomes very hesitant when I over do it. I do see this ruining everything in the years to come if I don't control it. He's a very logical and realistic person, and I'm a huge "dreamer" and was raised with parents who have been married for 40 years and have that Disney dream relationship. His parents divorced when he was young, and has told me the last thing he wants is a crazy woman in his life he has enough of those. Help me be sane!!! | I think about my boyfriend 24/7 and get extreme anxiety when I try and tone it down. We've talked about it, he's got 0 suggestions, and I can see him pulling away the more I indulge. |
t3_1bynr5 | relationships | I(22f) am struggling to find a balance between communicating concerns and worrying about adding stress when talking with my boyfriend(m24) Advice needed | We have been dating about six months. We met through my ex, and the two of them were friends. My ex cheated on me, but we broke up on pretty decent terms, and I did not start dating my current boyfriend until over a year later. Despite him talking to my ex about it, and my ex telling him it was fine that we date, a few months ago my ex freaked out over the whole thing and has been a source of stress ever since. On top of that, the past couple of months have brought a lot of stress into my boyfriends life, and although our relationship is good and I love him to pieces, there has been more distance between us lately and I know his stress is to blame.
Over the past few weeks I have caught myself wanting to say something to him, or bring up a problem I am having, but I don't because I worry I will add to his stress or appear needy. Instead I internalize things, but this only leads to more negative feelings that I feel I cannot share with him. I have a lot of guilt over the situation with my ex, I feel like all that stress and crap my boyfriend is dealing with is essentially my fault and I desperately don't want to add to it.
He has said and done nothing to imply he blames me for anything. I feel like I am hiding my feelings from him- usually the things I want to say are trivial small problems that could be easily resolved, but by not saying anything I let them explode in my own head and think about the WORST possible scenario. A few nights ago I felt ignored by him, I tried to hide it but he could tell I was upset and ended up saying something to the extent of, "If I'm being rude, you can tell me I'm being rude." I had such a hard time being straight with him, though, and I *know* how important communication is.
Up until recently I felt perfectly at ease bringing my problems to him and we worked through them beautifully, but now I just can't spit it out when I try to talk to him I freeze up. | lot of stress in my boyfriends life recently, some related to my ex (which I blame myself for), I've avoided discussing my problems and concerns with him because I do not want to add to his stress- but internalizing everything is making me feel awful and I need to start communicating better. Don't know where to start or what to do. |
t3_1hb0vk | relationships | My best friend [F28] just slept with my brother [B23]. | I'm not really sure how to feel about this.
Best friend, let's call her Lizzie [28] I met in college about 3-4 years ago. I've been great friends with her since. We fooled around once (not sex), but decided ultimately to not be FWB and just be friends. She means a lot to me, and I truly do care about her. I could even see myself with her sometimes. She's become great friends with my mother [48], because they both like younger guys, both like to party/club/go to bars, etc.
My brother [23] has been in the military for almost 4 or 5 years. He comes home once a year for a week or two. He's down here atm, and things are going great, I invite my friend out because we are going to the bars. My brother doesn't have very many friends left over from when he used to live where I do now, so I try to bring my friends to meet him sometimes. Lizzie met my brother last year when he stayed. So we are all out at the bars and Lizzie is getting pretty drunk, and very flirtatious. She's that type: she loves sex, and admits it. She's asked me a few times if I wanted to be FWB, but we always decide not to, because it would ruin our friendship.
But then tonight she's flirting etc with my brother, and next thing I know they are upstairs doing it.
Should I say anything? No rules are being broken. She's just a best friend, and he's my brother, but I still feel awfully funny about this. I'm kind of upset, but I'm not sure if I'm just jealous or legitimately upset. Should she have at least mentioned something to me before? Or am I over-stepping? | Best friend slept with my brother, not sure if I have a right to be upset. |
t3_391zmj | relationships | I [25M] have been married once already, have a child, and just don't want to deal with relationships but I want to be happily married. | I got married very young and we had a child, and got divorced. Being married was great, albeit it took a lot of work which I am okay with putting in the work and effort, it's worth it.
But the fact that you never know if the other person is as committed scares the everything out of me. The fact that you might be committed and never give up and they can give up and end it all without much effort at all is scary.
Well, two years later, I find myself longing for that bond and happiness that comes with being in love with someone, loving someone, and committing yourself to them and only them. The feeling of being a family and the desire to push each other to be the best person they can be.
But I am afraid to do all that for not again. Where do I go? | Married once, divorced, afraid to start relationship again in case it fails. |
t3_spx9b | AskReddit | What would happen if Taiwan decided to join forces with the US and South Korea if the Korean War had ever commenced again? | I have heard talk that this might happen in July or August, purely by hearsay from a friend who was sent an article about it from a Taiwanese newspaper (of what I don't have the link but am getting it soon)
I understand this is a hypothetical question but I think it is something that might be debatable but what exactly would happen. Taiwan is still legally apart of China but operates as a semi-rogue sovereign nation.
Today China showed it support of North Korea and praised them in their efforts, but their nation is still not in full support of North Korea. If Taiwan decided to join forces with the South and US if the war were to start again, would China invade Taiwan or what side would China take on the efforts of a spark to the Korean war. Alternatively would China direct the Taiwanese military to join with them in fighting against the South and US (of which Taiwan would probably say no to doing)?
Just looking for a little more insight of what I know about the cross-strait relations and the growing tensions out here in the East. | What subreddit should this go in if not in this one. |
t3_xgjkq | AskReddit | Why don't I like fiction? I couldn't care less. But I feel like I'm missing out on something great. | You name it. TV (Lost, BSG, Sons Of Anarchy), movies (Star Wars, Iron Man, The Borne Series) or books (Pandora Star, The Stand.)
I really do try to get into these universally praised stories, but I get 1-2 eps/chapters/etc. in and I loose interest. It's just boring to me. In my head I say, "Oh please! This is just ridiculous!) I guess I have an inability to suspend my disbelief and I take apart everything until it becomes absurd & unentertaining.
There's exceptions of course, but even then it doesn't hit me as being "wonderful" as everyone else seems to think it is.
So why is that? I'm a social, funny, generally happy person. But when it comes to dragons & spaceships I couldn't give a shit. | Most fictional stories are absurd & boring to me, and I feel I'm missing out on something. |
t3_hw002 | AskReddit | Is wave/particle duality evidence that we are living in a simulation? | I googled this question, but all I could find are touchy-feely new age arguments for or against. So I thought I'd ask the great minds here at reddit what they think. Keep in mind, I'm not talking about the uncertainty principle as a hand-waving explanation for physics voodoos. I'm talking about how the wave/particle duality might be an artifact of how our reality "approximates" our simulation. Here's some background on what led me here:
I was sitting around thinking about how awesome video games are getting, particularly how visuals and world interactions are being modeled in greater and greater detail. (Probably inspired after watching this Battlefield 3 clip
My thoughts then proceeded to how wind effects could eventually be modeled using a local fluid or particle system. In other words, instead of "wind" simply affecting a general area, it would whip over and around objects creating physically accurate turbulence, etc.
Now what I started thinking was, even given vast amounts of processing power, it wouldn't be necessary to model every bit of turbulence in the world simulation. For large areas not occupied by a player, a general approximation for wind and the probability of its effects would totally suffice (speed, direction, air density, etc) . The only time a fine resolution local turbulence would matter is when someone was around *observing* it.
So if one were to follow this logic, even with arbitrarily large processing power, unobserved simulated phenomena would be best/sufficiently handled in terms of probabilities. Only when someone actually observes such phenomena do particulate or fluid behaviors need to emerge. Sounds a lot like the particle/wave duality of matter in our reality, right?
So reddit, what do you think? Is this evidence for the simulation? Or just some afternoon craziness? | Video games are cool, and we live in the Matrix. |
t3_29g2jg | tifu | TIFU by trusting Google Maps | For the longest time I have used my TomTom without issue. For this weekend trip out of state to see family (cousin's baptism) I decided to leave it at home and just use my phone with Google Maps.
So I'm staying about 30 miles outside the nearest major city and the baptism is south of downtown. I plug in the address and get my ETA of 24 minutes. I make my way to the interstate and set my cruise control.
Going with the flow of traffic for about 15 miles I've got 10 minutes to go which will get me there right on time. All of a sudden, exit ahead! Make a right, then a left, then... Basically Google Maps directed me through the fucking middle of the city. My ETA went from 10 minutes to 24. Then 30. Then 34. Fuuuuck..
I book it as fast as I can from stoplight to stoplight, making it to the church 15 minutes late. Damnit. Missed the ceremony. Never again, Google Maps. NEVER AGAIN. | I used GMaps and was 15 minutes late instead of 5 minutes early to a baptism. |
t3_2fii8t | running | Best way to get back into running? | I used to run regularly, 4-5 times a week, 2-3 miles each run. I did this pretty consecutively for almost 2 years, and I made so much progress over time. I increased my speed, my distance, and endurance and I would continue to try to improve my runs whenever I could. I stopped running about a year ago because my schedule got way too busy, and I didn't put in the effort to fit running into my routine anymore. I'm now REALLY wanting to start again, but the thought of losing all of the progress I made over time makes me hesitant in doing so. I also don't seem to have the motivation to just start running again even though I want to. I've honestly gotten lazy over time, and my eating habits have worsened as well. I want to change all of this and start running regularly again. Does anyone have personal experiences with a similar situation? How did you start running again? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! | I stopped running about a year ago, and I would like to start again, but I'm not sure I have the motivation to. |
t3_2v0v99 | relationships | I'm [17M]. How bad would asking a girl to prom via text be? | [I posted the context once before](
So basically today was a pep rally at my school and I pretty much never go. However, I figured there was about a 95% chance this girl would say I should go and then I could find a space to say it was fun/we should do prom.
So, today she tells me I should go and so I end up next to her and with some of her friends during it. It was fun and I somehow managed to leave the pep rally with just her. So were walking outside talking nearly completely alone and I pussied out and couldn't pop the topic. (And as I'm in school typing this she just walked past me and said hi and I just realized it wtf I'm stupid as hell).
Anyways, I feel like I've been dwelling on this too long and for all I know she already has plans. How bad would it be to just ask through text? | been dwelling on a girl. Managed to get her alone a few times. Can't get myself to ask her to prom. |
t3_1efo1i | relationships | Did I just botch a first kiss or was it a total accident? (m-28 f-24) | The past month, I've been meeting out/taking out on dates, this girl who I used to work with. We never spoke outside of work but got along really well during our time together. About a month ago, we were texting on the weekend toward the evening until she suggested I meet her out. I always had a thing for her.
The night was good, went back to her place after she invited me and spent some time there. She drove me back to my car and I asked if she ever wanted to get drinks again sometime and she was into the idea.
So the past few times we've had drinks (as of tonight, this was our third date) it ends up being a night out for about 5 hours of just talking and laughing. Real comfortable stuff. Although we still rarely speak outside of our 'dates'- she texts me sometimes which seems like a big deal for her, so I get pumped when I hear from her.
Tonight she drove out to see me and we again got dinner and some drinks, I drove her around my neighborhood for a while, showing her around because she loved the area I live in.
After dropping her off, we discussed future plans to see each other again. Lots of options but nothing we settled on to which we both said we'd figure it out. The past few times she's dropped me off at my car and I'll hug her goodbye but tonight I figured I'd go in for it since it was the fourth time we've been out together.
I lean in before she leaves and her body turns to give me a hug, so I ended up planting a kiss on her cheek. There was a moment of "oh, woah", but we both played it off it seemed like until I said to let me know when she got home. She made some jokes and got out of my car and waved goodbye.
So.. not much to go off of, but... did I botch this? I guess I should wait to see if I hear from her soon? | Went in for a kiss and may have purposely gotten the cheek. I can't tell, though |
t3_334ssh | relationships | Me [25 M] and my ex [25 F] broke up after being together 2.5 years, seeing her with a new guy has sent me back to square one | She dumped me out-of-the-blue last summer after we had been living together for more than two years basically being co-dependent. It hurt bad but I moved out, went cold turkey on contact, got myself into projects and working out again and seeing other women and after a good while I thought I had basically gotten over her. Would think about the relationship sadly sometimes when something reminded me, but it was fading further and further away in my mind. (For background I had had relationships before her, but this was the only woman I ever was really "in love" with or lived with)
But recently I had to see her for the first time since the breakup at a mutual friend's party and I was warned in advance she had started seeing someone new and would likely bring him. Honestly seeing them together (only for a moment) wasn't the hard part so much as being hit with that knowledge in the first place. Since we broke up I had dated many women casually but none to the point where we were in any kind of real relationship. I've had to own the fact that I didn't properly acknowledge how badly I was hurt the year before, and now I feel even worse than when we actually broke up despite all the time and events that have passed in between. I'm trying hard to stay positive, spend time with my friends and keep dating but the pain of my loss is like a nagging voice in the back of my head that stays with me every moment of the day, even when I'm 'having fun'. I feel like crying a lot which is especially jolting because I almost never cry and only did so before the night we broke up. Has anyone had a similar experience and could give me tips on getting back on track in my recovery? | Thought I was over ex until finding out she has a new man, now I feel worse emotionally than when we broke up, could anyone give me advice? |
t3_37ze7t | relationships | Me [17 M/F] with my [17 M] "boyfriend" for ~3 months, are having trouble getting our relationship really started | 3 months ago i finally found the courage to ask my best friend out (not knowing either of our sexual orientation) and it turned out he had a crush on me as well. We don't see each other, he is home schooled and i go to public(we live ~10-15 mins apart from eachother), but we talk everyday over the computer and we play games with each other. We both agreed after three months that we will come out together but we need to start taking it seriously. The only difference we have had since we started dating is that we say goodnight to each other.
We both want to start becoming serious but we don't know how to. Neither of us have our license yet (will have mine by the middle of June) and we don't think that seeing a movie together occasionally is cutting it. What do we do? | me and my boyfriend want to start getting serious but don't know what to do? |
t3_2yj1r3 | dogs | I just adopted a Shepard lab mix , having aggression problems. Do I need to worry deeply. | My girlfriend and I rescued a 5 year old Shepherd that was going to be put down the next. We took our 12 year old heeler to meet and walk before deciding anything. We had no problems at the shelter and no problems there first night. The first time we saw aggression it was over a piece of ice (heeler loves to eat ice). We saw a little more aggression the next morning over food, then again the next morning not sure what it was over. This evening she bit her again, no blood has been drawn in any of the events. So I don't know if the shepherd was trying to hurt or to form a pecking order. It has us a little rattled. We've only had her since Saturday, is this adjustment anxiety or something more serious. I could use any input . Thanks | new dog biting old dog, not sure if adjustment or aggression. |
t3_pkksq | AskReddit | Dear Reddit: What Do I Do? | So, me and my friends had been hanging out with this crowd of girls from a neighboring town, but we had stopped hanging out, due to them being complete mooches (drink our liquor, etc.., never contributing in anyway). My best friend, let's call him.. "Larry". "Larry" kept talking to these girls, on a platonic level, even though we'd all told him not to. Well, let's say another one of my friends, "Chuck". "Chuck" is well known for his parties, and these girls have gone to all of them, even after we stopped hanging out with them (to which they were allowed to chill, drink, party; no negative feelings). Well, two of the girls get boyfriends, who they met via us at one of "Chuck"'s parties. They threw a party last week, inviting everyone but "Chuck". He showed up anyways, how they would when we told them not to come, and their boyfriends explained it was no negative feelings, but they had to listen to their girlfriends (which I could respect). Chuck leaves, no hard feelings, and goes on his way. Well, one of of the girls was having her birthday party in the same place, last night. They said Chuck could go, until the absolute last minute, where they said he wasn't welcome. He goes home, wishing to steer from problems of any kind. Well, shit got real:
Our friends were slapped, one was almost jumped but fought one of the guys, and "Larry" locked himself in a room. Someone shot through the door, and Larry goes out to confront him, as there were several girls in the room. Larry is slapped, and my brother picks him up (I refused to go to this party, good choice) and drops him off at home, making sure he's safe.
Now, here comes the hard part. I have a promising music career, and I'm shooting 4 music videos next week. I'm a college student, and normally acts calmly and rationally, but this is a drastic situation. Do I defend my friends, and best friend, or do nothing? I really need some advice. | Friends were hit and shot at while attending a party hosted by dumb girls who started a feud between their bf's and my friends for no reason. What do I do? |
t3_386og6 | relationships | Me [25F] with my friend [23F] of two years; I want to change out one of my bridesmaids for my wedding. | About a year and a half ago, I jumped the gun and started wedding planning, asking my six best friends at the time to be my bridesmaids. Long story short, Fiancé and I ended up going through a rough spot and decided to postpone our wedding indefinitely.
During the last year, I moved to China to teach English. Unfortunately, one of my friends, whom I have made every effort to keep in touch with, just doesn't make any effort to reply to my messages. I understand being busy---trust me. Between teaching hours and tutoring hours, I work more hours than you can shake a stick at. Somehow, I still manage to make the effort to shoot her an email or facebook message. Whenever I am lucky and catch her online and say something, she always says, "I'm busy. Gotta go."
When I finally confronted her about her behavior, she told me that she was mad about me moving to China. We talked about it, I thought that everything was going to go back to normal. But she still isn't replying to my messages. And now, the wedding talk is back on and I don't really want her to be a bridesmaid anymore. I want to replace her with someone who makes me feel like they care as much about our friendship as I do.
I want to continue being friends with her and I really don't want to hurt her feelings. But when it comes time for my wedding, I don't want her up there with me. Is there any way I can let her down easily? Or should I just keep her with everyone else and hope that our friendship goes back to normal when I'm done teaching in China next year?
She is very naive and still sees everything in the world as rainbows and unicorn farts. I am afraid that if I tell her I don't want her as a bridesmaid anymore, she will be heartbroken. | I moved to China and my friend won't make effort to keep in touch with me and I don't want her to be my bridesmaid anymore; how can I let her down easy? Or am I stuck with keeping her to maintain a friendship? |
t3_4djpk2 | relationships | My [22m] girlfriend [22F] and I live together but never hang out during the week. Is this normal? | We both work full time jobs, but due to the nature of mine I'm always home first. I'll always start dinner and have it ready for when she's home. Our usual weekday routine is her getting home from work, us eating dinner, and her plopping down in front of the tv until she goes to bed while I spend time on the computer. I often go to bed before her even though we work at the same time.
We always do stuff on the weekends, however it seems like during the week she doesn't want to hang out at all. Just watch tv and go to bed. We've been dating for 2 years now. | We never do anything during the week. I've expressed that I want to start doing more stuff but she doesn't. Is this the norm? |
t3_31l1xq | relationships | Flirting and trigger phrases? | So I'm an inexperienced young lad (18/M) getting into it with a girl (18/F) who I work with. Nice girl, pretty (probably quite a bit out of my league), fairly smart, little stubborn but its alright. Anyways I found out she had a thing for me and wanted me to ask her out but due to both our busy schedules, its a little difficult to hang out as often as we would like to but we've hung out once since we started talking about two weeks ago. So I'm down to mostly just texting her most every day to make up for it. But I'm awful at texting people in general, like even my friends. I want to escalate with her and try to make sure I don't get put into the thing all guys fear, "the friendzone". She complained to me about overly sexual guys she talked to before me and after her breakup about a month ago so I don't want to be overly sexual but I want to establish myself as a somewhat sexual person to make sure she knows I'm not trying to just be her friend. Does anyone (male or female) have anything that they consider effective ways of flirting and playing around in this situation. | What can I say to a girl to make her want to pursue something more with me? |
t3_2ugdgs | relationships | I'm (f/24) trying to build a LTR with my bf (m/27) of 20 months, but he won't give up the 'bro life' | We met on a dating website and have been like glued to each-other ever since. Things have been great, with the exception of one little thing. When I met him he was still living in a college house with a bunch of friends/roommates who were in many cases career college students. Keep in mind that at this point he has been out of college for like 2.5 years and has a stupid good job. The only reason he was still living there was because he wanted too.
So fast-forward to three months ago, and we started talking about getting an apartment together. We get a nice place, get everything set up, etc., things were (and still are) going good with us living together. The problem is he is only living with me 4-5 days out of the week... Why you ask? Well, as it turns out, he is still paying for his room in his college house... He spends several nights there a week there (usually weekends), and even on the nights he spends with me he sometimes comes home late after hanging out there for a couple of hours.
I've talked to him about this. Twice. His position is "Look, I'm covering all of our agreed expenses, I don't think it's wrong of me to want to spend some time with my friends sometimes" He has a point. It's his money and really that's the not the issue here. It's that he isn't *fully* living with me.
I also have problems with who he is spending his time with... 8/10 times they are just smoking a bowl and having lan-parties/hack-athons, but sometimes they are having parties with girls, alcohol, harder drugs, etc. I trust my bf, but that doesn't mean I'm comfortable with him sitting around with half-naked, or in some cases completely naked girls and drinking copious amounts of alcohol.
I really don't think I'm being unreasonable, but that's how he has made me feel when we talk about this. So, reddit, am I being unreasonable? | Boyfriend refuses to give up the bro life. Am I being unreasonable? |
t3_fq0as | BreakUps | Another trouble getting over breakup, but this time with a twist! | Of course i'm also seventeen year old male, surprised? Now the relationship was basically perfect. Only problem was that she was 14. I broke up with her after two months, but I can't seem get over it. Now the real problem isn't that I still wan't her, it's that I don't know why I broke up with her.
The whole relationship I had had this feeling like it wasn't going to last, which I pretty much ignored. But one day I woke up and it was bad. Real bad. I tried to power through it and ended up having to go home because of the guilt that I felt. She had done nothing to deserve it and i'm breaking her heart. So I decide that it would be best for both of us if I break it off.
So were broken up. She actually seems to take it pretty well. Hell, she came up and asked *me* if I was doing ok a few days after the breakup. My response was Isolation, but she just got over it and lived her life. I have tried to be friends, and would like to be, but every time I see her I'm crushed by guilt.
I want to move on, but not having a reason for breaking up is weighing on me. I really don't want this to happen again, but I don't know what I can do to prevent it. | broke up with a girl. don't know why. |
t3_541nzb | askwomenadvice | I'm pretty scared to ask this, but...has anyone else had a problem with weight gain post pregnancy termination (8 weeks ago) [f/21]? | Like the title says...ive been eating the same amount (I weigh my food and track on MFP...used to have anorexia so I make sure I eat 1300 calories a day, which is fine and should help me be losing weight currently on my 5'9" body...) I did before. I started at 135 lbs and have gained at LEAST 25-30 lbs. I haven't stepped on and scale, but pants that used to fall off of me don't fit at all anymore. It's not bloat, it's constant.
I know I'm not pregnant anymore. I went to the dr today and they took a pregnancy test and prescribed me birth control.
I'm so depressed about this, I don't know why to do. I'm having jaw surgery on tuesday so I'm hoping the liquid diet for 6 weeks helps jump start my weight loss, but....has anyone else had this issue? | still gaining weight quickly 2 months post abortion . Is this a common issue? |
t3_2vzfs8 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my crush[18 F] I lied to her | I know the girl of my dreams. She's a really kind, gentle, funny person. I've known her for about 4-5 months, but only realized two months ago how attractive she is and through getting to know her realizing she IS the girl I didn't even know I dreamed about.
I don't really feel like going into too many details, but I'll give you the gist of the story: we messaged over skype last night and when I told her I learned from her tumblr, she asked me what exactly I learned. I spent a long time thinking about it, then I just spewed off some random sexual bullshit. She obviously never wants to talk to me again.
I don't know why I made such a mistake. I've never been so directly lustful with a person before. I wish I can one day tell her the truth: when I looked at her tumblr, I saw simultaneously someone who was completely like me and someone with whom I had nothing shared; I saw an incredibly complex person with a uniquely good (D&D alignment) mind; I read/saw/viewed her thoughts and was healed: I paid her back with violence, incredibly strange from a defensive person.
I just have no idea how to apologize: no matter how many friends I hurt (an overwhelming majority of those friends being female) I never learn how to truly give compensation, to truly apologize. I always just feel bad then don't think about it, except when I can't not think about it and it's a storm of old memories where I hurt my friends and I want to cry but I am not the victim I am the one who hurt them.
I am the monster. | Told the girl of my dreams a hurtful lie and she doesn't know if we can be friends anymore |
t3_1n9zb5 | relationship_advice | I'm 22/f living with a 22/m and our friends. The relationship is on the rocks, so should I move out and move on, or try to make it work? | I've been dating my bf since college. We moved out to a big city together with a group of friends because it was cheap to live together, but we weren't really relationship ready to live together.
He's nice, easy-going, and my parent's love him. Statistically, it's a great relationship. But for the past year since moving in together, we've fought non-stop.
When I'm with him, I love him, but when I'm away from him, I couldn't care less about him. (I know that sounds harsh, and I'm not the harsh type, I've just gotten to that point). I know this isn't healthy, but if we broke up, I would feel like a failure. That I couldn't make a seemingly perfect relationship last. I'm trying not to be a typical 22 year old searching for my perfect knight in shining armor, and that my 40 year old self would tell me to appreciate the guy who wants to talk things out, is honest, and nice. However, I don't feel the "spark" anymore. Does that really exist?
And, there's the problem that we live together. He's a great roommate, so I want to live with him and our friends. But that apparently isn't an option. (I haven't seen the movie The Breakup, so I wouldn't really know if the ductape across the bed really works).
What would you do reddit? Keep trying to make a relationship work because he's logically a great match? Or move on bc the 'spark' is gone? | live with my bf of three years, and it's looking grim on the homefront, should I move out and move on? |
t3_1cb9bo | relationships | Distance is a killer . & I don't know how to handle it!! | I (15)love my girlfriend(15) but I don't get to see her that much. I see her at least once every three weeks and its driving me crazy. I'm also bi polar and get mad very easily. I feel like I'm killing our relationship cause I'm really insecure. Sometimes i feel like she's lying to me about where she's at and who she talks to . All we do us text all day and if i get lucky, we talk a bit at night. In the beginning it didn't bother me as much but now it's really getting to me. When we argue she is very in denial and if i try to confront her she'll just cry so i end up feeling bad and stop . So i don't know what to do with our relationship because we've been together for 1.5years . | Any advice that could help? |
t3_2ugiwg | relationships | 25f with busy schedule, how can I make long distance relationship work with 25m? | I have been seeing this guy for 2 months and we both like each other and would like to continue seeing each other.
I go to grad school on weekdays and work on weekends (8-hour day or night shifts at a hospital). However, he has a weekday 9-5 job that is 100 miles away.
In all the previous times that we have met (we meet every other weekend), we always meet near where I live. This is partly because I live in his hometown, so he has more reasons to drive 2 hours on most weekends since he can see me, his friends, and his family.
I do want to see him more often, and I am willing to drive that 4-hour round trip to see him. Unfortunately, I can realistically see myself do that only once a month or every other month because I need to balance work and school too. I really like him and I do want to start a relationship with him, but schedule and distance are our our concerns.
I need your help. Will a relationship like this be feasible? He has to make the 2-hour drive to his hometown more often to see me. The fact that I live in his hometown makes me feel better since he can use the time to see his family and friends during my weekend work hours, and I can see him before or after work. We don't get to see each other as often as we would like to, and I am just scared that our feelings will fade if seeing each other is too much of a hassle.
I just feel really bad that he has to make more sacrifices to see me because I am really limited on time. I just don't know how to juggle between school, work, and him (and of course my family and friends too). I have to put school and work as my priority because that is what my future career depends on. Then once I have free time, I will schedule something with him. Is this bad? :( | I am seeing a guy with opposite work schedule and long distance (but I live in his hometown), will this work out? |
t3_2zorb7 | relationships | Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [ 25M] 3 year relationship. Question about men and why I have trust issues. | Sorry if my english is bad, I speak a different language.
Before I started dating my boyfriend he was in love with me for about 6 years. We were best friends and grew up together. Both of us were abandoned by our fathers and raised by our mothers. I've met my dad about three times, he is a drug addict and absolute whore. I found porn on his bed while visiting and I've hated it ever since (it's not something you leave for everyone to see) and his girlfriend was there aswell. I've never had a example of what a relationship should be, I never knew what it was like to be loved by a man.
Now, because of that and every women in my family being cheated on or their husbands looking around, I feel very insecure when it comes to things like that. My boyfriend doesn't look at porn, and he always turns of the tv when there's a lot of nudity because he doesn't like it either. I also hate when people look around while in a relationship. I don't mean looking at someone and thinking they're beautiful, I mean looking at someone and lusting after them. He agrees with me on these things but because I was raised to believe all men are pigs and look at other women it's hard for me to believe he's sincere. He gets extremely upset when we even talk about it and then he tells me that he would never look at other women when I'm all he's ever wanted. He also tells me I'm the most beautiful person in the world (yeah right :D) and he's not the type of person to lie, when his friends send nude pictures of girls in groups he deletes it immediately and it irritates him. He's very mature since he had to be the "man" of the house. He's also a more emotional person than a visual person
Anyway, is there any other guys like this? Or do all men really lust after other girls when they have everything they want? And I'm not stupid, I know people will always look at other people, but there's a difference between admiring beauty and desiring someone. | I grew up around bad men/examples of men but I have an amazing boyfriend that loves me and he doesn't desire anyone else. I find it hard to believe because i only grew up around assholes and was abandoned by my father who is a total whore. Are there any other guys who doesn't desire other women exept their wives/gf's? |
t3_3fhq6t | relationships | In love with a married friend [F/29]. Need to stop. God I need this to stop | I am a 41 year old loner [M] and I have become deeply infatuated with my friend's wife [F/29]. Every 15 minutes I check my phone for texts, facebook updates, some sign of her being alive and thinking about me. I am constantly distracted and start feeling an underlying panic trying to drown the few remainders of my consciousness like driftwood. I feel worthless. I feel like a coward for denying my desires.
I have been 'honest' with her - telling her I want to be the best friend I can be, love her and support her but have no intentions otherwise. But that's not what I really want.
I want her. I want her to be mine. Want to take care of her - love her more than anyone could have ever loved her.
I am tempted at every encounter to tell her but why should she bother dealing with my feelings. She is really close and trusts me. So this would be the betrayal of her love for me (which is simple supportive and delightful).
I know the difference between wrong and right. I know I can't destroy a man's family. That's not right. Not right at all by me. I don't want to be that man.
So I am NOT looking for strategy advice on how to 'get' her. I just want a way out. Out of my own head. I have a life full of things to do, watch and learn. I don't want to feel like there is this big hole in the middle of it that only she can fill. That is a false temptation. And its all I ever think about. | How do I fall out of love with this delightful friend who trusts me to be her confidant? Please tell me there is a point to being a decent coward. My question is less about what to say to her than what I should say to myself. As an adult, I am cripplingly embarrassed at this outpouring of grief over love that can never be. |
t3_297z9u | relationship_advice | I (27f) want to know if his (25m) late night "business meeting" is normal | My husband left almost seven hours ago to go to a business meting with his female boss. It's now after 2:00am and he still isn't home. I am 99% certain he is having an affair with her, but he has a way of making me feel like I'm overreacting or reading too far into things, or not appreciative enough of his work ethic (I'm a stay at home mom and I know he works really hard to support our family).
I've always felt that their relationship has been inappropriate, and a few months ago I found some very flirtatious back and forth texts between them on his phone. Basically, I'm not typically a snooper, but I was reading something, my phone died, I asked to borrow his and he kind of panicked. It set alarm bells off and my curiosity got the best of me. He was right next to me, so I didn't get too far into the conversation, but here are a few examples of what I saw. Him telling a joke and her saying, "his name, I think I love you!" Her saying she doesn't have a runners body and him responding, "I don't know, you were running pretty fast in that dress. Had to keep up."
I came clean on the snooping and talked to him about these texts He was very adamant that I was taking them out of context, that there is absolutely nothing to worry about, that is was very unfair for me to read his conversation, and while he did not agree they were flirtatious in nature, he'd change the way they communicated with each other.
So, after that brief history there have been some other issues, but to keep this from getting too long I just want to hear from people who have a stable career and work hard at their jobs. | is there any legitimate reason that someone would be meeting on actual business matters, for almost seven hours, after midnight, with their opposite sex boss, in the bar of the hotel the boss is staying at? |
t3_31meyn | relationships | Me [20M] with my _ex girlfriend__ [19F] I can't stop thinking about having sex with her, its unhealthy and getting in way of my life, to the point that im obsessing. | So I started dating my ex girlfriend a couple years ago during high school, back then she told me that she would eventually have sex with me as the relationship progressed, and things didn't work out in the end so we fell apart. I missed out on the oppurtunity of having sex with her, but I didn't really care back then. We were really intimate with eachother but I never penetrated.
However, fast forward 3 years and we hang out for the first time after a long time. We hit it off really good making and feeling eachother but I held off because I wanted to take things slow and she was a lil disappointed I did't take things further. Now she doesn't want anything to do to me probably because I wasted her time. In the long run we don't make a good couple, but we are only good for each other when it comes to messing around. Now that I missed out the chance to have sex with her twice, it has hit me hard! I can't stop fantasizing about having sex with her and its very unhealthy, im starting to get anxious and cant sleep well, and its interfereing with my life greatly.
How can I get over this feeling!? I hate it. This is the only girl thats on my mind and not in a good way! Help | Missed out on having sex with ex girlfriend a couple times, regret itx and now its haunting me. I want it to stop and go on with my life |
t3_1qsxiz | relationships | Me [28\F] with my Friend [25\M] online for a few months. Need advice on telling someone about my feelings. | I've been talking with a guy online for a few months now. Admittedly we met through Kik and I could tell immediately we had some sort of connection. Talking is almost effortless and we are both attracted to one another both physically and mentally.
I am posting on here because of a promise I made with him. I promised that I would tell him if I felt I was falling for him. I know it will sound silly to some, but I most certainly think I am. I want to keep my promise but I am also of the mindset that you should be certain of your feelings before saying anything.
I've never fallen for anyone I've never met before. This whole concept is rather foreign so any advice would be appreciated. Should I just tell him? Do it via text? Phone call? Wait until I have no doubt? | when is too early to tell someone you love them? |
t3_31psm2 | relationships | I [24 F] still think about ex, even though happy with current SO, over year since break up | Hi Reddit,
I broke up with my high school sweetheart more than a year ago. We broke up because partly for logistics (LDR), and also because we were so young when we started dating and had developed bad toxic habits that I cringe at now (emotionally manipulative, overly dependent, etc). It was a relatively good break up. We remain, not friends, but distant acquaintances on very good terms. We've had two lunches since the breakup, both platonic and friendly.
I took about a year before beginning a new relationship - I grew up a lot in that time. I'm independent, mature, confident (I was none of these things with ex) and have none of the bad habits in my new relationship. That's in part also because current SO brings out the best in me. He really is wonderful, and I love him.
Awesome right?
Problem is sometimes the ex still crosses my mind. Sometimes I wonder how life would be with the ex with the older more mature us (when we broke up, he asked to get back together several times but I felt we were still too immature to be in any relationship). Sometimes I miss him because we really got along so well, if not for the immature aspects of our young relationship. He is also dating someone now who is local to him, and I'm sure is a fantastic lady.
**I DON'T WANT TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HIM**
I am scared that I will not ever get over these thoughts and always wonder what if I said yes to getting back together. I am scared that I made a mistake breaking up with him - maybe we could have gotten over bad habits cuz we clearly have the ability to mature. I feel incredibly guilty I have these thoughts at all because my current SO is wonderful to me and we are great together (fantastic communication and mutual understanding). Should I discuss this with current SO?
How do I stop having these thoughts? Am I reading too much into it? | Feel guilty about missing ex despite wonderful and mature current relationship. |
t3_2ugrck | relationships | My[22 M] ex [21 F] can stop me starting my PhD. Meeting her tonight to discuss. Help me stop her from stopping me. | I dated this girl for quite a few years and we ended up breaking up after she cheated on me extensively. We still live in the same town. She has a boyfriend and I have no interest in getting back with her.
I got offered an all expenses paid + stipend PhD working in a HPC (supercomputer) research team which is working on modelling Alzheimers. This morning, I went to meet the head of research and he was amazing. I would kill to work for this guy. However, just now I got a call from my ex that she does not know if she wants me working there. Turns out she is working there too (in a similar position) as of about a month ago. She told me that when the head of research talked to her about me, she said she did not know if she was comfortable working with me.
If she kicks up a fuss, I am fucked and will in all likelihood be declined the position. We agreed to meet up tonight at about 9pm to talk about this, that was it. What do I do? I want this position. I do not care that she is in the same department, as everyone works on their own independent models. What should I say/do/bring to convince her to not fuck me over?
Further info, she still has feelings for me (and occasionally shows up at mine and texts me) and she is worried I will spread the dirt I have on her. I absolutely DO NOT want to do this. I have not told anyone she cheated on me except some very close friends and don't want to be that guy. | Ex can stop me getting my dream PhD position. Meeting her tonight. How do I stop her fucking me over? |
t3_3dqs6z | relationships | Me [35 M] dating plenty of women but they keep losing interest after second date... | I'm a 35 year old moderately successful, reasonably intelligent, guy with decent looks. I've been on lots of dates through online dating with women who are around my age or a bit older. Drinks, dinners. Typical stuff.
The first dates have almost always gone well, we tell each other we had a good time, we say we want to do it again, we even make out a little bit.
The second dates don't seem all that different, but there's a shift in the energy. I definitely get insecure; on several occasions I've thought about taking my date's hand to hold while walking, or even spontaneously kissing my date on the street, but I don't want her thinking I'm taking things too fast.
When it comes to romantic activity I'm definitely an awkward person. I don't really flirt. I tend to just talk and joke around. I sort of feel like I put myself in a "friend-zoney" place, whatever that means.
Example: I went to a museum with my last date and we had "visitor" stickers on our shirts. At the end of the tour I took off my sticker and put it on her back. When I touched her back, she looked up at me and smiled, I guess thinking I was being romantic, but before the moment gained any traction I told her I was pranking her with the sticker.
Anyways I've ended up getting texts like "I think you're great but I dont think we have much of a romantic connection" or I get vibes from my dates that essentially communicate that sentiment without so many words. I just don't know if I simply haven't found the right person yet who likes my sort of personality or if I need to try to make some adjustments on my end. | 35/m and no luck taking any dating relationships past date #2... not sure what to do |
t3_2qtn6c | tifu | TIFU by having a bottle of Vaseline on my pocket. Now there are police officers that think I'm gay. | Lets start by saying that this happened this summer and only now I decided to write about it, because is a rather funny story. I was taking medication and one of the side effects was dry lips to the point of bleeding regularly, to prevent this from happening the doctor said for me to put vaseline on my lips frequently (I asked if there was other way but he said that it was the only thing able to prevent my lips from bleeding), so as consequence of this I had to carry a bottle of vaseline always with me to wherever I went.
--------------------------------
Now the Fuck Up:
One night me and my friends (all male) went to a night club, but before we entered a friend of mine decided he wanted to smoke his joint before entering (keep in mind that this is illegal where I'm from). We went to an alley behind a church near us, so he could smoke the joint.
Just when he finished smoking and got rid of the evidence, two police officers peeped the alley saw us (quick save) and since they suspected something, they approached us. They started asking questions (what we were doing, where we live, how old, etc) and when they finished the questions they started searching our clothes one by one, I was the last one. When they finally got to me, they took out of my pocket the bottle of vaseline and when they saw what it was, they made a poker face, and very awkwardly gave my stuff back and quickly said that they had to go ("We'll leave you boys for what you were doing now" one of them said) ... While they awkwardly walked the way they were making comments to each other that we were gays and we were going to do stuff, this while making the stroking gesture.
They didn't even asked what it was for, they assumed we were gay... We are all straight damn it!!! After that my friends made fun of that and me every time I had to put vaseline on my lips.
We live on a small town so, every time I pass one of those officers they start laughing. | Friends and I were on an alley smoking a joint; Police officers appear right after we finished; They search our clothes for drugs; Found a bottle of vaseline in my pocket; Assumed we were gays and about to do gay stuff; Everytime I pass one of the officers they laugh and friends make fun of me for people thinking I was gay |
t3_4aidp8 | weddingplanning | Planning the ceremony with fear of public speaking...help! | I need some help figuring out our wedding ceremony. I've given a lot of thought to the reception and I'm happy with what we've come up with, but ironically I haven't thought much of the ceremony!
I am not a very traditional person. Our wedding and reception will be at the same location, outdoors at a wildflower preserve. Originally I imagined a smaller, more intimate wedding, but now that everyone's had their say, we ended up (slightly over our max) with 122 people!
The idea of speaking in front of 120 people (some of whom I do not know) terrifies me. It's important to us that we write our own vows (the is one of the only requests FH has made) and make the ceremony our own, but I have a serious fear of public speaking and just the thought of this makes me miserable. We also need to figure everything out (chairs, sound, decor, etc) since it's outdoors, which is making me feel overwhelmed.
We've kicked around the idea of a smaller ceremony before the reception with only close friends and family, but it's hard to know where to draw the line and I don't want to make anyone upset or offend. Can anyone give me suggestions or real life examples of their ceremony, or ideas of what to do? Can anyone with social anxiety/public speaking fear chime in? Help! | I hate public speaking. How do I plan a ceremony? |
t3_2fi716 | relationship_advice | I (23/M) am crazy about a girl right now, but I'm getting mixed signals. Any advice? | I'm kinda new to this subreddit, so apologies if I haven't correctly followed the correct community guidelines (or if I'm posting in the wrong subreddit).
So I'm 23, shy and haven't been in many relationships. I'm usually terrible at the whole dating game. But over the past few months I have developed a crush on a friend of mine. I can't detect micro signals that might give me clues if she feels the same way (Like I said, I'm not great at dating). But we get on so well. We snapchat each other, have nicknames for each other and are very close. Last weekend we spent ages hanging out and she talked about how she was attracted to a male friend of mine (roughly my age). My friend told me in private that he had no interest in her (maybe he said that to spare my feelings because he knows about my interest in her)but I don't know if anything happened between them that weekend. To further complicate things, we seemed to be a lot closer that weekend when my friend wasn't around. She would glance in my direction every now and then and smile when she was huddled talking to her friends. I'm totally confused because it feels like I'm getting mixed signals. I had a crush on a different friend of mine years ago but when I made a move it backfired spectacularly so I'm really scared I might mess up our friendship if I do anything. I would really love any advice you kind folk could offer me. | My crush is sending me mixed signals and I'm too much of a pussy to make a move |
t3_iijll | AskReddit | Did Brita-filtered water change tastes recently? | I needed to replace my filter a few days ago (I have one of the smaller jugs that you fill in the sink). I went and picked up a 3-pack at the local superstore. So I go through all the normal steps (soak, run at least two cycles through) and have my first glass, but I immediately noticed a relatively strong chemically/minerally taste, way different from my normal tap water, and way different from my previous Brita-filtered water. So I tried filtering several more cycles to see if that would help. It did not. I was upset, but assumed that perhaps I just got a defective filter. So I opened a new one, and once again followed the preparation steps to the letter. And once again, the water tastes strange to me. I am sure it's not just my perception, and sometimes I swear I can see a subtle color difference when I compare it to normal tap water.
So my question is this - has anyone else encountered this recently? Did Brita change something, and this is just the new way their water will taste? Or is it possible that I got a bad batch of filters?
I have tasted the tap water, and it is pretty neutral, so it's definitely something that the filtration process is adding. And I can't see any obvious problems. | Did Brita filters change recently, resulting in a new taste for the filtered water? Or am I going crazy? |
t3_33xbuf | relationships | I [22M] am in a possible FWB situation with [22F] Tinder hookup | I think this is the right sub for this. If not, please direct me to the alternative.
I downloaded Tinder, since I recently moved to a new area. A few weeks ago, I matched with a girl and got her number. I was on a business trip at the time, so we both planned on reconnecting when I returned. I sent her a text to meetup the day after I got back (two weeks ago). I went over to her place for Netflix, some pizza, then ended up hooking up. We had a great time and really connected.
In the past, hooking up was much easier, while I was in college. Now that I have graduated, I am not sure about the best way to initiate contact via text. A couple days after going to her place, we exchanged texts that we both had fun and would like to do it again. I texted her this past Friday to meetup. She told me she was busy with an essay, but would be down if she finishes. She attends a highly competitive university, so that is understandable. She could have been lying (who knows?). We didn't end up meeting up on Friday.
Right now, I obviously want to see her again, but do not want to be needy. I know she is busy with school and club activities. She is not the type of person addicted to her phone, so she does not initiate contact. Since it seems like we both want to see each other again, I would appreciate advice on the best way to approach this situation. Any and all advice appreciated. | Met a girl on Tinder. We both agree to meet up again. I texted her on Friday, but she was busy. What to do next? |
t3_1y6ngg | Advice | what to do for my online date | so i recently started using tinder in hopes of broadening my horizon as far as women go. im a 21 y/o male and i got a decent amount of interest generated using it, and one person agreed to meet up sometime. what is the best way to meet this person for the first time? should i just take her to dinner? i dont wanna be too forward and scare her off before she even gets to know me but i also dont wanna look like a bitch. ive never been much of a "first date" kind of person, usually they start as friends. | asked girl out online, said yes, now what? |
t3_xhlul | relationships | Guy Input Needed: Does he like me, just want to bone, or both? | Moved into a new house (3 weeks ago) with a ton of roommates and immediately hit it off with one housemate - a 26yo guy / I'm a girl (26yo). I have a bf but it's an open relationship.
He's given me total mixed signals so just looking for any gut reactions to whether the dude *1. likes me but is scared/prefers not to pursue me romantically, 2. is just interested in a hook-up buddy, or 3. somewhere in between.*
**Evidence that He May Like Me:**
- The first few days I moved in we immediately clicked and stayed up all night talking and then cuddling. We've done this a bunch of nights on-and-off since I moved in. It's never "let's have sex" we always end up having awesome convos for hours before cuddling in one of our rooms.
- He's said how he thinks I'm really beautiful and cool.
- We have bizarrely similar interests.
- Friends who know him said he's not the one night stand / player type. He's apparently a good guy that doesn't bring girls home often and hasn't hooked up with a housemate before.
**Evidence that He Just Wants to Bone**
- Despite our awesome nights, we haven't crossed the communication outside of the house line: he never texts me and he's never asked me out on a date. :(
- His girlfriend broke up with him a couple months ago and you can tell it still burns him.
- The one time we did make lose plans to hang out outside the house, he canceled them.
- The one time we talked about "us" he said since I'm leaving in a month (I'm only here temporarily) and because I have a bf (although open and rocky), he "doesn't want me to get emotionally involved." Which was weird/egotistical wording - why me and not both of us/him?
Anyway, I know it's hard to gage from a bulleted post, but any insight is appreciated. | I like my housemate, but he is giving me mixed signals. Our relationship so far has been pretty physical, but never just physical. |
t3_3hlbhi | relationships | I'm (24F) Dealing with anxiety and depression, and it's effecting my relationship (26M) of 4 years. | This is my first post ever and it is it a sensitive subject for me so bare with me here.
A little background. My dad died when I was a baby and since then certain family situations created a very dysfunctional childhood for me. I developed depression and anxiety at a young age and started missing school constantly, making myself physically ill and I have been in and out of therapy since I was a child all throughout high school. There was a point in time after high school through college where I thought I was better, but now I realize just because I wasn't facing depression and anxiety head on anymore, I was partying and being very promiscuous, almost as a distraction I think. Then I met my current boyfriend at age 20. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 years. We have been through a lot, as a couple and individuals and that has caused us to fight a lot. I have felt shamed about my past and other situations I have put myself in and I think that re-triggered my anxiety and depression. All of my relationships (family, boyfriend, friends, work) are effected by this. I feel like I just want to crawl in a hole and not have to face anyone. I feel anxious, paranoid, out place in almost every situation I'm put in. Even when I'm not outwardly dealing with symptoms, I am always overthinking, "what if something bad happens?". I have a hard time talking to anyone about this without getting emotional so I just avoid it. But it's to the point where I feel like I am going to lose everything if I don't talk about it and get help.
Any advice on anyone who feels/has felt similar and what you do/did to help control it would be appreciated. | I am struggling with anxiety and depression and it is effecting my relationships. |
t3_23lfw7 | relationships | I [18F] don't know what to do with this constant on & off relationship of 2 and a half years. | I [18F] have been with ,we'll call him Trey [18M], for 2 and half years. I love him a lot. But we are constantly breaking up and getting back together. I know it's not healthy but I don't know what to do.
Currently we are broken up right now but we still kind of act like we are dating. But Trey is kind of a jerk. Extreme anger issues (screaming, hitting and breaking things), kind of controlling, critical and just a jerk sometimes overall. But when he isn't a jerk he is the sweetest guy I've ever met!
When I'm with him we argue constantly. However we have days where we don't argue at all and it's like the perfect relationship. When I'm with Trey I want to be with him. But when I'm not around him or not talking to him I second guess myself.
There is this guy I work with named Steve [19M]. He flirts with me a lot, and I don't really know if I like him. But I am attracted to him. I've gone fishing with him and a group of friends and we have hung out a few times with friends. He's really cool and I like getting attention from him because he's really nice. But I feel guilty about Trey.
In about a month Trey and I will be graduating highschool. He is leaving for the summer to go finish his army training. Then we will both be going to College Station, TX for college in the fall. I don't want to commit to Trey before he leaves. But I don't want to lose him if I don't. I feel like me an Trey can work out but I don't know what to do. | On and off relationship for 2 and a half years. Going to college in the fall, should I try to fix the relationship, or is it already toxic and do I need to end it? |
t3_3v0ms6 | relationships | Me 19M with my classmate 18M How do i co-operate with him(I think he got a weak mental disorder) | The problem is that i am in the same group as him, it worked fine at the start of the school year but has gotten worse and worse. Everytime we get a task that includes writing down what you are doing or reading he just stops completely and begins to sound incredibly frustrated.
Like today i worked with him (we are working on ITIL) and his task was finding some examples, so he started playing games as usual. So i asked him if he was going to work, after a while i got him to work and he asked for help.
I tried to help him and i ended up making him cry because he said i pushed him too far when i stopped him from playing games or taking a break since we used up the breaks we were allowed to have.
My reason for thinking he has a weak mental disorder is because he can't do anything when there is a chance something going wrong.(stuff like saying the wrong thing or something like that)
He is also 18 years old and doesnt know how to make food or everyday stuff like that, he also got problems picking up on social cues. | Dont know how to work with a classmate that wont work. |
t3_cbjgi | books | Apparently I'm a slow reader, how can I read more? | I've always considered myself a stellar reader. I was tested in third grade and was reading at college freshman levels (and having attended some college I now find that considerably less impressive...).
I just read some of the lists that people posted in this subreddit about the books they've read in the past six months. I've read maybe three, only one of which was long (Crime and Punishment).
How often do all of you read? How many chapters/pages at once? How long does it take you?
And most importantly, how can I speed myself up so I can get more reading done? | How do I read faster? |
t3_zqxy3 | AskReddit | Question for Waiters and Waitresses of Reddit. Why would you pass off a customer in your section? | My wife and I frequent a local restaurant. A couple times we have discovered that the waitress has passed our table to another person, while working the tables around us. We go to this establishment quite a lot and know many of the people who work there. Tonight was such a night. We asked our new waiter why and he just said, "she asked me to take it." What's the deal? Could we have offended her in the past, or am I over thinking this? I'd love to know the reasons why you have passed on a table even though you're still working your section. I do not recall any negative experience with this person in the past. | Waitress passes off our table to another but still works her section, why? |
t3_13xn63 | AskReddit | If a Willy Wonka type of contest was made for the first tourist trip to Mars, what lengths would you go to win? | I have been getting increasingly excited about a possible tourist trip to Mars in the near future (2025ish?) and wonder who will be the first tourist to Mars. [SpaceX] co-founder, Elon Musk, claims the company has a way to send tourists to Mars in 10-15 years, at about $500,000 a pop.
If SpaceX did a contest similar to the way Willy Wonka invited people to his factory, to what lengths would you go to win the first trip to Mars?
If the contest was something as easy as a lottery, I would invest a large sum of my savings into the contest. If it was a Hunger Games fight to the death, I would train like Rocky.
I would love to go to Mars and think this imaginary contest would be my only chance. | Would there be a limit to what you would do for the first tourist trip to Mars, if interested at all? |
t3_30odni | relationships | Me [23F] with my boyfriend [36 M] of two months, Erectile Dysfunction putting a strain on relationship. | First off, yes I like older men. Deal with it.
Now if you're here to help, not judge, I need advice about what to do about his ED. The first month the sex was great. Obviously I don't compare the stamina of an older man with a young twenty something, but even then the sex was awesome. This past month his issues with ED have steadily increased. It went from an occasional problem, that with a little patience, he could become fully erect again. Now it happens every time we have sex, an it is to the point where he can only remain erect during missionary for a short duration. Forget about cowgirl, my favorite position. This man seriously humps me with a limp disket, and I don't say anything, he doesn't say anything.
I'm afraid to hurt his feelings, and the relationship is so fresh I feel that if I were to bring it up it could end things with us right then and there. He is an amazing man and I want to work through this with him. I don't know how to confront him, and I don't know if it is a good idea at all to do that in the first place. I am sure he is very aware of the failure of his manhood and is probably embarrassed.
What should I do? I really like him but obviously can't continue to have a relationship where I am dissatisfied... Even if it doesn't bother me too much now I know it will in the future if this continues.
Hopefully someone else out there has been in my situation. | Older boyfriend has a limp pee pee. Need advice. |
t3_111d9t | AskReddit | I was disappointed with my anniversary and I dont even want to talk to my girlfriend. Am I an asshole? | Today was my 6 month anniversary with my girlfriend and I was really disappointed with how it went. First she was late and wouldnt pick up her phone after 10 minutes, she would either drag me or ditch me into her girl shops for nearly 20 minutes at a time, but what really got me was the near complete lack of intimacy. I was honestly really shocked by this. I tried to kiss her maybe 10 times in the 5 hours we were together today and she stopped me each time, I would try to hold her hand a few times and she would stop after about 5 seconds and the one time she did let me hug he she seemed really uncomfortable and when I told her I loved her she mumbled so much it was nearly un-understandable. This is honestly really strange because she is usually always holding onto me, she would never let me let her hand go and she would never reject a hug or a kiss. | My girlfriend hardly touched me or shared any intimacy on our anniversary and I cant even talk to her. |
t3_3ngx67 | college | Going back to school (HELP!) | I'm 21 i graduated college when i was 20 from a 2 year accelerated program. made the mistake of rushing into a marriage that controlled my life. Long story short, been out of the loop too long, i forget most everything i learned in school, applying for jobs i really don't feel qualified for.
i want to go back to school, try to get another 4 year degree.
is it possible to go back for the same degree at another school?
would it be worth it to try for a masters? maybe major in something else and minor in my original field to get a refresher?
how does one who already has a degree apply to go back?
i know i could call the admissions dept of any school to get most questions answered but i'm trying to see if anyone has gone through a similar situation before | Have bachelors degree, been out of game too long, forget everything important, want to go back and maybe study the same field again, is that possible?, what other options would there be? |
t3_12dbek | tifu | TIFU Taking a piss in the dark. | Alright, after holding in my piss for a very long time while procrastinating here on TIFU I decided that it was not a good idea to be reading humorous stories with a full bladder. After finishing up the fuck up i was currently reading I decided it was a good time to take a toilet break.
I hurriedly sneaked across the landing attempting not to wake the family, got into the bathroom and attempted to feel around for the pull switch we have for the bathroom lights. As I pull the switch, clutching my bowels attempting to hold the piss back the light blows, tripping the whole house lights.
I was devoured by complete darkness, not having the time to flip the circuit breakers (or even knowledge of where the circuit box was) I proceeded to take a piss in complete darkness. Not realizing that the toilet seat and lid was down it splashed back at me and all over the floor. By the time I had managed to reach down to lift up the lids the whole toilet and half of the floor was covered in piss.
Still attempting not to wake the parents I took off my piss covered socks and attempted to search the house in hope of finding the circuit box and turning at least the landing light on so I could see what I was doing when I went back to clean up. Failing in my search I re-entered the bathroom, forgetting that I was bare foot, slipping in the piss and waking the whole family. | I pissed all over the toilet and floor because I tripped the electric slipped in the piss and woke the whole family. |
t3_4mm2w7 | relationships | Dating-I [24F] got out of a 9-year relationship almost a year ago and I now feel like I'm ready to meet new people. Only problem...I feel like I have no idea how. | My relationship with my ex [24M] did not end particularly well. He lied to me a lot, especially towards the end of our relationship. I felt like I didn't know who he was anymore.
I feel like I'm ready for a new relationship, but I'm not sure how to meet new people. I don't go to bars often and I recently moved to a new city so I don't know that many people. I have tried to use my time as a single person to "get to know myself" better, because my ex and I were young when we started dating. How do I put myself out there so I can try and meet someone new? I also feel like I don't have the slightest idea how to tell if someone is interested in me. | Got out of a 9-year relationship about a year ago and have no clue how to meet someone new |
t3_2a13l1 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of 4 1/2 years, broke up. She is talking to a new guy but told me she still cares about me and wants me in her life. | We started dating in high school, and both go to the same college. For three years I was at school and she was still back home so the biggest problem we had was not getting to see each other very much.
When she came to school we were the happiest we had been for a while but them problems came up. She is very attractive and always attracted a lot of attention from other guys. She soon had 2 close guy friends, one gay and the other with feelings for her.
I had a problem with this guy but knowing that she didn't have any close friends I didn't put an end to it. She later admitted to liking him but in the end she chose to keep what we had instead of perusing something with him. She doesn't really see him anymore.
She then went to a really hard time with her mother that stems all the way back to a nasty divorce. It started causing her to be extremely depressed and have anxiety attacks. I tried to be there for her in anyway I could but she kept saying she need to get away from me and would leave for days at a time. During one of these times we didn't hardly talk and she said she liked having that space. It hurt like hell to hear that.
Just 5 days ago we broke up. She said she still loves me and cares about me but she didn't feel like what we had was what a relationship is suppose to be like. She just recently told me that she met this guy online and right after we broke up she went to hang out with him. When she got back she said that she still has feelings for me and wants me in her life.
For a couple days we have been "just friends" and we can actually hang out as friends and have fun, like we used to. But I can't get over losing her. I see her texting this guy and making plans to meet him next week and it just kills me inside. I still love her and she says she still wants me in her life. I don't know what to do, I want her in my life but I want to be more than friends. | Girlfriend of 41/2 years wanted to end things but says she still loves me and wants me in her life. I can't handle being just friends and watching her talk to this other guy is killing me. |
t3_1oz13o | relationships | Me [34 M] with [26 F] for 6 months, throw in the towel or settle in the for the long haul? | Lately I've been feeling intense pressure to get married and have a family, both internally and externally. Externally from family, but also from friends, who are all in the process of drifting off to getting married and having kids of their own. It's not necessarily a verbal thing, but there's a general sense of "being left in the dust" while everyone moves on with their lives.
This has never bothered me until lately, when it began causing anxiety early in the morning or in the middle of the night. I get this intense irrational feeling of being too old to find anyone and having screwed up my life as a result. Being 34 I have my shit together in every other way (financially and career wise), this is the only "missing piece".
Compounding this is my girlfriend of 6 months. On paper she's great: genuinely sweet and caring, attractive, and drama free. However she's much different than than any other girl I've ever dated on an intellectual level. My previous partners were lawyers, grad/med school students, etc, people who were highly educated and capable of stimulating conversation. The current girlfriend is a small town girl whose hobbies are teaching, shopping and exercise. It's difficult to talk to her about anything outside of her life (like world news) as she just isn't interested or doesn't comprehend. She isn't stupid though, and we do have plenty of fun together.
If I was 25 I probably would have moved on by now, but I've stayed because I feel like an idiot tossing aside a great girl (and it's been getting harder and harder to date). I waffle between being OK marrying the current girl, and suppressing the urge to run away. | Feeling old/lonely. Current girlfriend makes a great "life partner" but not a best friend or intellectually compatible. |
t3_4gub0a | relationships | My [30F] dad [51M] is coming over tonight after 8 years of no contact. I'm so nervous. | My dad stopped talking to me almost eight years ago after he found out I was gay. He said some awful things and forbade me from seeing my younger siblings. It was difficult at first, obviously, but I became used to not having parents around (my mother left when I was little and she's been a wreck ever since).
My dad is going through a nasty divorce, which apparently made him want to drink (he rarely drank when I knew him). A lot. He went to rehab and called me on New Year's Day to let me know that he wanted back in my life. I had such a mix of emotions.
I've been putting off meeting him until now. I'm terrified, but mostly because I know he will be a sappy mess and I don't want to deal with that aspect of this situation. I know that's immature of me, but I'm still guarded about him and most people and I don't like to open up or show my emotions at first. He still talks to me like I'm 12, which is annoying, but I'm not a parent so maybe that's normal.
He has been sort of pushy about us meeting, which gives me anxiety, and is the main reason I've been postponing. That and I'm worried that the only reason he wants anything to do with me now is that his world has been turned upside down due to his divorce.
We haven't discussed the/his reason for cutting me out of his life. I don't even know whether I should bring it up, wait for him to bring it up or just see how we mesh until it has to be brought up. I am dating someone, but it's not serious yet.
I suppose this is more of a nervous vent. I don't know anyone who has been in my shoes, so I thought I'd reach out to Reddit Land and seek any tips or advice on how to handle this tonight. I plan to have a drink beforehand to calm my nerves and prepare for his emotional outpouring. I really don't want to cry, so I hope I don't. I don't want to be vulnerable around him yet. | Seeing my dad after 8 years of no contact. I'm terrified of the meeting, his emotions and our conversation. I need tips, encouragement or a swift kick in the ass. Thanks. |
t3_2s5mg1 | relationships | I [26 F] miss when my bf [28 M] could overpower me | We started dating when I was 18.
At the time I had been practicing BJJ for about 2 years and a half. We got into the habit of play grapple in bed, and often make foreplay kind of rough like that.
Despite my training, my boyfriend could handle me just by using brute force, due to difference in size and strength.
But that was 8 years ago. I have over 10 years of BJJ training now. Plus been doing some strength and conditioning on the side for years. Truth is, now I could kill him so fast it's not even funny.
I really miss the time when he could overpower me. We seldom do it anymore. When we do sometimes I fake that I an having trouble, buy it feels stupid, like I am playing with a kid. Sometimes I do it seriously and submit him in no time. It makes me proud of my skills to be able to choke him out and fell him helpless. But it's a huge turn off. I know some girls like that. Not me.
Everything else is good. But this as become a big problem to the point where I find myself thinking about breaking up.
Friends suggested he'd learn BJJ. There's a big learning curve. It would take him an enjoy to catch up, if ever.
Suggestions? | I practiced bjj for years, now I can overpower by long time bf, and that's a turn off. What to do |
t3_31t4km | relationships | My roommate and I [20Fs] with my other roommate [20F], we don't want to live with her anymore/want her to move out | So I have been living with my two roommates, Jen and Liz, since September. We were all decent friends going into the agreement, but since Jen & I have gotten really close. There have been multiple incidents where Liz has been mean and extremely difficult to live with. Its hard to go into details without being too specific but there are times where she has yelled at Jen (for really inappropriate and unnecessary reasons) until the point where Jen is brought to tears. It has become clear that she has an anger problem. On top of things she has a pretty toxic relationship with her boyfriend that we are constantly brought into.
Now, the problem would be simple if we just didn't get along and could just part our ways. But Liz is a part of our friend group (though most of our friends do not like her because of actions in the past) and considers us, especially Jen, her best friends. This is partly our problem since we are VERY relaxed, non-confrontational people and have never really brought up the problem. We have the option to just move out....BUT we live in a VERY expensive city in the states and we lucked out in the fact we got an AMAZING place where rent is cheap and we are close to campus. But we can't live with the stress of her presence anymore and would rather she move out. All of our friends agree with our situation and we have options for who would move in.
So how do we go about this situation?? We're hoping to have a talk with her soon, since exams are coming and we're going to be leaving for a bit in the summer before our lease ends in August. But we're both very nervous and prone to anxiety, and she can be very bitter and hateful. And on top of everything, she will be completely blindsided. | roommate and I don't want to live with out other roommate anymore, not sure how to bring it up as she will be blindsided. |
t3_29ynhe | relationships | Me [27 M] with my GF [27 F] 2 years long distance the past three months a guy called her twice while I was visiting. | So, I love this girl she is the love of my life all i think about. I want to be her daughter's father with her the rest of my life. We've been long distance for the past 3 months cause of my work so its been rocky.
I was visiting her for a weekend and she got two calls from a guy she works with on her way off time and ignored them and said it was probably butt dials. this got me a bit paranoid and i've never done this but i looked up our verizon phone records and there were a lot of long late night calls and texts.
1st, is there any way possible I can read those texts to know whats going on first without her just lying to me. 2nd I know that is a terrible 1st plan But i need to know i won't be back for awhile and confronting her in person, or even if i should just cut my losses without a confrontation.
But i need the full info i don't know how to get it otherwise hence i've asked you guys. to me its like intel before I walk into a firefight.
sorry i know its a bit crazy of me but i have to know anyone ever been in my shoes would half to know. | GF might be cheating anyone know for a way to look at her texts |
t3_106lmp | cats | HELP! PLEASE! might be possible emergency need advice ASAP! | So, tonight I was brushing my 3 month old kittens teeth (of course with cat toothpaste and a toothbrush). I brushed both the top and bottom. When i removed said toothbrush from Mikah's mouth, I noticed some blood on the tip of the toothbrush; so I decided to have a look inside his mouth. He has already lost both upper canines and the adult ones are coming in, but I noticed where the blood was originating from and it was the 2nd pre-molar (or permanent molar??? Hopefully not). The tooth itself was pulled away from the gum (sort of like human teeth, when we start losing them, no root at all). Well, my cat; being himself, took it as a man and decided it would be best to finish his kibble food. About 2 minutes ago, I opened his mouth again to check the tooth; no blood, but when I touched it; it was a little loose. I am in desperate need of help. I have attempted to call all the 24 emergency veterinary clinics here in Las Vegas, and they kept dodging the issue, long story short; the bitch on the other line stated that I would have to bring my baby in. I searched on google about baby teeth, and didnt yield any results. So, now I am posting this question here, nervous as all hell that *I* could have possibly loosened one of his permanent molars. My questions to r/cats, and hopefully I get a answer:
1. How many total teeth does a kitten lose before he gets his permanent teeth.
And
2. Is it normal for a baby 3 month old kitten to loose its pre-molars, specifically the 2nd one. Keep in mind this is in the upper left quadrent.
As of right now; I just finished a cigarrette, came back to Mikah's room, and he trilled at me, and now he is currently playing with my socks, a blind cord, and 2 paper balls. He does not seem to be in any pain what-so-ever. Thank you to all that will help me.
4. | was brushing 3 month old kittens teeth; ended up making a kitten's tooth lose. |
t3_2z28ce | relationships | Me [19 M] and my girlfriend [19 F] of 2 years, can't seem to find solutions to anything, need opinions. | So recently, me and my girldfriend of 2 years have been getting into way too many fights about everything and anything. We dont currently live together, which is something that nags me a bit.
Some background story might be needed.
In my daily life i play a lot of computer games, some of them even competitively (attending tournaments and such). This is something that has taken more and more of my time during the last half year, taking me away from doing sports and other physical activity. I still go to the gym, but not as much as i used to (2 times a week, used to be 5/6). She can't handle me playing computer at all, and says that "You change when you play too much, that is not the guy i fell in love with" and so forth. We tried to discuss it and found some solution, but now she seems to be more distant than ever. She can't find time to see me more than once every week/2 weeks and also whenever we are together, all we do is have sex, talk a bit about nothing and then she/me goes home. i really dont know what to do about this, i have thought it through a billion times, but i just need some opinions. Also, everytime i bring up something i think she could do better, she just says "ill think about it" and nothing happens.
So my question is; should i breakup with the girl i have known for nearly half my life by now, or what should i do? I really need some help reddit! | I play alot of computer, GF dosnt like it. I try to change, she seems to be distant. Known her for so much time, dunno whether to break up or keep trying to make it work. |
t3_3ey95c | relationships | Me [20 M] with my ex gf [20 F], she broke up with for being a "prude". Feeling weird and wondering if people are ok with my choices. | I recently broke up with girlfriend of 4 months. She dumped me after a night of clubbing and said that I was too much of a prude for not doing "anything". I promised my parents (haha laugh it up) that when I went to college I wouldn't do drugs, alcohol, or smoke. So far I've lived up to that promise. I found my girlfriend in one of my classes, worked up the balls to ask her out and everything seemed fine. I never had any problems with her drinking and doing shrooms, but she seemed kind of bothered that I never did any of these things. When she dumped me, I looked over all the consequences from this. My friends don't really invite me to go to bar's and stuff with them that often, because I don't drink. I was a little offended because I thought that you don't need to drink to have a good time, but I just brushed it off. I don't feel any desire to do these things, and have nothing against people who do them. I'm wondering however if people don't want to be around me just because I don't get stoned with them, or drunk with them? | Dumped by girlfriend, feeling like a prude because I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. Need some perspective from other people. |
t3_27rebd | relationships | Please Help me. I don't know what to do... | Hey guys, I could seriously use some advice, maybe from people have been in this situation, or anyone really.
I am 21 years old,(M), and I have been in a relationship with 21(F) for almost 2 years but I think I want out.
I will try and make this quick. She is basically the perfect girlfriend. We never fight and get along extremely well, I think we are perfect for each other, but I don't feel like being in a committed relationship right now.
I am kind of her only real companion right now, she hardly sees her dad or mom since she lives with her aunt. She comes over every day and hangs out with me. She has friends but doesn't like to hang out with them that much. She kinda even told me I'm her only one right now. Which makes this way harder.
I would never ever cheat on her, but I really freaking miss being with my friends , going out with them and making memories like we used to. Having a girlfriend really doesn't allow for that. I used to enjoy meeting new girls, dancing, maybe even kissing and just having fun for a night. I am young, and I don't see the point of being in such a committed relationship especially if we have agreed we wouldn't want to get married to each other, or anyone at such a young age.
Basically I miss not being tied down or having to answer to someone all the time. I want to be free again, but I HATE hurting people, i have been wanting this the last few months but I don't want her to be alone and sad.
What can I do guys :/ | Girlfriend and I have a good relationship, but I don't want to be in a committed relationship at a young age, but at the same time i don't want to hurt her by breaking up with her |
t3_2gfw9s | self | This is the first time I've ever felt drunk. | I used to have a real alcohol problem. Was going through a rough patch in my life and drank....a lot....like a case a day was no problem.
Its been two years and I just hung out with a close friend and drank a substantial amount for the first time in two years. I'm really feeling kind of low right now because of it though. I used to drink to try and black out, and tonight was very different. I was just hanging out with a close friend because he's been having a hard time recently and I thought it would be fun to just relax and kick back a few beers.
We got a 12 pack of a sampler and two beers in I'm feeling tipsy. After five its clear that I've finally gotten drunk. I feel pretty guilty about this and I don't think I'm gonna be doing it again for a while. If ever. | I'm a bit of a high functioning alcoholic. I decided it would be okay to drink while chilling with a friend and finally felt like I was drunk. I don't like it and feel pretty shitty that I broke two years of "sobriety". |
t3_2xobqm | relationships | I [26m] am just starting to realize that perhaps I was never in a relationship with my ex [24f] | So, I was recently in what in some ways is relationship with an extremely loving person for about a year. We had known each other for years, and when we finally decided to take the plunge to something more it was awesome. Very caring, very loving, and explosive sex. We were very much in love with each other. However, there was a dimension of our time together that I'm just realizing was missing. Basically, we called ourselves together in a relationship, but I don't know if I ever felt a sense of partnership or team membership with her. We cared about each other very much, but at the same time we shied away from conversations about the future, and more importantly, there was a level of intimacy lost in that it never felt that we were building anything together really. More like talking lots throughout the day and then meeting up in the evenings to spend nights together (we saw each other 2-3 nights a week for about a year, though we talked everyday). What do you think, reddit? Does this constitute a relationship or is it better characterized as two people who loved and cared for each other? I'm starting to feel the latter as I'm realizing a sense of commitment and a "we're in this together" attitude was never really present. | Is there anything that differentiates a relationship from two people who love and care about each other? |
t3_1hx43f | AskReddit | Really need help with this people of reddit.... | ok, so recently about 3 months ago, some assholes moved in next door. 1 story house and not much room. they have like 9 people living there. that is the least part about it, they illegally breed dogs, they cook meth n shit.. its horrible, the 17 year old they have there is a complete dickhead who thinks his christian rapping is the best, and he still smokes weed n stuff. anyways what i really need from anybody in california that needs to rent the house... i want to call the person who owns the house, and tell him all this, i need someone who wants to rent it because the guy who owns it is a greedy bastard who doesn't give a shit who lives there and only wants the money. so i think if i call as anon, and tell him these people need to get out and i know a/couple person(s) who would be willing to rent out the house. i know it might actually be much since its a one story house and all. but i swear if you move in, my family will be the best neighbors you ever had, as long as you dont cook meth or do any drugs. if anything just pot or something just lay low. i don't give a shit, just dont even mention it. i know the whole best neighbor thing isn't much, but i swear i don't have much to begin with, i mean my family has lived here for 12 years in this house. and these assholes move in for 3 months and act as if they have superiority over everyone, trying to intimidate me and my dad. plus the little dick head son who is like 7 bullys my next door neighbor who is hearing impaired along with his mother and these people we hear them in their kitchen bitching about "That deaf mute chick, and her dipshit son" it pisses me off... and ever since they moved in and pulled a gun on us, we have been holed up in our house. we've called the cops multiple times and they don't do anything... just i thought maybe since we don't really have many more options... thanks people of reddit in advance. and i look forward to anyone who is willing to rent this house. | assholes live next door who bully everyone and cook meth, want them out, greedy owner doesn't care who tenants are. please contact if you want to rent out. no drugs. except pot just lay low. |
t3_utgfh | cats | New kitten aggressive towards my older cat with no claws | Last year I adopted a 6 year old female cat that was already declawed (would never do that myself). She is older and has some hip issues (on meds) so she's not very active. About 6 weeks ago I adopted a 6 week old male kitten (so he's now about 3 months old) and he's become more and more aggressive towards her. I play with him to try to wear him out (lots of energy!) and he's only recently stopped attacking me and become more affectionate.
He stalks her, jumps on her back, bits her neck and she has no defenses against him. He's learned not to do it when I'm around- he'll wait until I'm in another room to attack her. [This] is the closest they've ever been and right after that he went after her. I can't get him neutered for another month and I don't really think that will help too much. Does anyone have any advice on how to curb this behavior? | aggressive male kitten attacks older female cat when I'm not around. |
t3_1usxzy | relationships | Me [26 M] with my girlfriend [26 F], she has a friend that drives me absolutely nuts. Should I tell her that I can't stand being around this girl or just let it go? | My girlfriend is a really sweet person, I can't say the same for one of her friends. This friend is from out of town and she comes by and stays with my gf for a couple days every couple of months. She is one of my gf's roommates from college.
I've met her a couple of times and every single time she has been rude, innappropriate, and immature. She speaks loudly, interrupts people, and talks about really past sexual exploits in a way that I don't really think is appropriate for mixed company. Don't get me wrong, I'm no prude, but I also have no interest in the girl's sex life seeing as I've only met her a handful of times.
Something about her just really rubs me the wrong way and makes me feel uncomfortable. I also get the sense that she talks about me like I'm a passing phase in my gf's life...if that makes sense.
I love all of my gf's other friends/roommates and get along with them really well. For some reason though this person just bugs the ever living shit out of me.
My question is...should I let my girlfriend know that I can't stand this one friend, or should I just let it go? She is only in town every couple of months, but she also is considering moving to our city...which I would not be super psyched about.
I mainly just don't want to hurt my gf's feelings because she is such a sweet and kind person. She only sees the best in people and has a hard time seeing when people are being rude or inappropriate. | Let gf know I really don't like one of her friends or just let it go? |
t3_3o439h | askwomenadvice | My boyfriend sucks in bed. | Ugh. Title says it all. He's well endowed and pummels the fuck out of me. It *really* hurts my cervix. We only do doggy. No kissing or making out. And he pouts when I won't give him anal.
I've communicated to him several times what I want, what bothers me, etc. He just.. doesn't care. He is completely selfish in bed and it's literally the only thing he's selfish about.
He turns me on allll day but I hesitate to fuck because I don't find it enjoyable. We rarely have sex.
I, frankly, don't want to have this conversation again. I don't want to rock the boat and I feel I've had this conversation several times. I certainly don't want to break up with him. What else can I do? | Boyfriend sucks in bed. I've told him what I like. Still doesn't do it. |
t3_hoiza | AskReddit | What's the best music theory or piano training software? Success stories, examples, links to material or videos appreciated. | I'm trying to make an electro album. I know that electronic music isn't exactly known for it's excessive use of impressive music theory and I can do a lot of stuff by ear I was wondering if anyone has had success with any particular piece of software. I know practice makes perfect, but I have a midi keyboard hooked up to my computer and would guess that interactive software would be better than practicing blind. It would be nice to have a piece of software that would watch me practice and make suggestions on proper fingering technique as well. A lesson plan would be nice as well. Also reading notation would be great (although the software I use works in matrix format, so theory is more important).
For those who would like to suggest that I pay up the money for lessons I have in the past, I also have taken some music theory (it was in a lecture hall so I didn't really have any sound going through my ears to help anchor it.) | What's the best music learning software you've used? and what resources would you recommend? |
t3_2jff4e | relationships | Me [22/F] with my boyfriend [30/M] 5 months, should he ask me to move in? | I've been going out with this guy for 5 months now and we've been away on holidays once for 2 weeks and 2 other weekends away.
I've met his friends and his family.
We both live in a major european city and I have no family around so I am renting a bedroom in a flatshare.
He's older and has a good job so he rents his own flat and lives by himself.
I am currently having some problems in my current flatshare so I am thinking about moving soon - in two weeks. He knows about this.
He also knows that my expenses will increase due to some new commitmenst I made.
The relationship is going well and we are already thinking about going away for Christmas.
I usually spend 4-5 nights a week at his place and even have a pair of keys.
My question is: he knows all of this, we've been going out for 5 months, should I expect him to ask me to move in? Or if he doesn't, what does it mean? That he doesn't see it as a serious relationship? | Should he ask me to move in together after 5 months knowing that I spend there 4-5nights a week and have the keys? |
t3_3gkvvf | relationships | My (25 M) wife (24 F) may want to reconcile after 4 months. | I'll try to make this as short as possible. About 4 months ago my wife and I separated; she had some horrible family trauma which caused us to argue almost every day and for the distance to constantly grow.
I was naive to the whole thing; I refused to accept that we wouldn't work and that we just had to fight harder. She was more practical and called it off - I'm not saying the break up was handled well, she did things which will hurt me for many years to come.
Over the course of the 4 months there has been very little contact, we tried to stay friends but it was too painful and I had to limit the contact to as minimal as possible.
Yesterday I texted her to say that I miss "us" but enforced that I didn't expect anything out of it, not even a reply. She replied and said she did too and asked if I wanted to go round for dinner, which I am doing.
There was no cheating in the relationship (at least as far as I know) but I have been with somebody since (nothing serious!) And that has since stopped. There has not been any mention of reconciliation, but I'm asking the reddit community for some help in how to handle this. I love her as much as I did on our wedding day, but is that enough? Is there really any going back if that option is presented on the table? If it goes down that road, there is no doubt I will tell her about the other person while we split - it might break everything but it would have to start with complete honesty.
Should I feel regret for the fling when I thought this was all dead and buried? | possible chance of reconciliation with my wife. Is it a good idea? |
t3_1sastc | running | New Shoe Break-in Question | I have been an on and off beginner runner for the last year or so. As part of my commitment to myself to run more regularly I recently bought myself a proper pair of pair of running shoes. I am pretty low mileage runner, typically between 0 and 15k per week.
I had been running in a pair of New Balance cross trainers, my new shoes are New Balance 780v3. They are quite a bit lighter and with what feels like a lot less support, but were suggested for me because I pronate.
The shoes are comfortable but once I get about 1 or 1.5k into my run I start feeling an ache in the arch of my foot that builds up and becomes quite uncomfortable. I had been running 5k most of my runs but because of this ache and pain in my feet with the new shoes I haven't been able to go more than 2.5k in one run with them. All my runs with the new shoes have been on a treadmill.
I suspect that this is primarily the ligaments and muscles in my feet stretching out and adjusting to the new shoes. If this is the case, how long will it take for me to work back up to my 5k mileage and keep building my miles? Or do you think it may be a different problem? | Foot pain in arches with new more minimalist style shoes. Just my feet adjusting or something more serious? |
t3_y0ig8 | AskReddit | Need advice. Can I become a professional boxer? I am a good electrical engineer, but I am starting to hate it. | I am studying electrical engineering, I am good at it and I have one more year to graduation. I am 21 years old. 5' 10" 175-180 pounds, solid muscles to the point that most people wold guess I weigh at least 190 pounds. I have no real training, but I know I can pack a mean punch. I am never scared of fighting, I know I have heart.
Things in general haven't been going well for me to the point that I was posting in r/suicidewatch a month ago. people said I should change my habits, and do something that I want to do. Well, I would love to be a boxer, its something I have always wanted but never truly pursued. I kinda regret spending my summers as a research assistant rather than finding a place to train. So tell me reddit, am I stupid for thinking about this? is it possible? how would I do this?
This is not my usual account, and the account I used to post to r/suicidewatch was a throwaway. Sorry, I guess I am a paranoid parrot. | I feel like I need to have a new goal, I want to become a boxer. Need advice. Should I do it? how can I do it? |
t3_23ppxh | travel | Argentinians refused into USA w/o. Visa under Canadian immigration procedure. Consequences? | Hello Redditors,
In 2005, my family and I moved to Canada from Argentina. We are all Argentinian citizens, my father had a two-year working contract with a Working Visa and my mother and siblings had a Visitor's Visa to accompany my father.
As time went by, my parents decided to stay in Canada for good and applied for the whole family to become Permanent Residents. We were accepted and as part of the procedure, the Canadian government required us to leave the country and re-enter in order to change our status from Temporary to Permanent (no idea why they insist on physical travel.)
Instead of flying to Argentina and back, relatives we had here and my parents figured that we would travel to the US and back into Canada. We somehow figured that the US Immigration folks had a procedure for what we thought was a common occurrence. So we did, without an American Visa. We were obviously refused, American Immigration Officers took our prints, pictures, the works; and we were duly sent back. At the Canadian border, we explained the situation, they gave us our Permanent Resident papers and that was it.
Fast forward seven years, we will soon be Canadian Citizens and will be able to travel under a Canadian Passport. My question is, *how will this refusal of entry to the USA under these circumstances affect our chances of traveling to the States with a Canadian Passport in the future?* (None of us have tried to go since, and we had never been to the USA before either. We don't have a criminal case nor have any trouble with the law and my siblings and I were minors at the time.)
Thanks!
P.S.: I get a feeling that I'm worrying too much, am I not? | Argentinians traveled to US without Visa as part of Canadian immigration procedure; got refused. What are the consequences of this? |
t3_4xwr7m | relationships | My girlfriend [28F] of seven years wants me [26M] to convert to Judaism when we get married! I don't know what to do or say. | For the last seven years, I've been dating my girlfriend and a year ago she proposed to me and we have been engaged. We have talked about the various things we want to have at the wedding, and one of the main things that she wants to happen is to have me convert to Judaism. She has been raised by a Jewish family for most of her life, I've never been religious myself, but now that we are reaching this point in our lives, it's something that has been brought up very often.
I don't know how the conversion process works and I'm a little on edge about the whole things, I don't know what to say to her, I don't regret it, I'm just nervous about how this may change my life. Getting married is already a big thing, but to be a part of a religion after is something that is overwhelming. I was never raised in a religious family myself so I'm lost at the moment.
Any advice? | My girlfriend wants me to convert to Judaism when we get married and I don't know what to do or say to her about it. |
t3_14y1kt | AskReddit | Reddit, at what age would you feel comfortable allowing your child unsupervised access to reddit? | I was taking care of my cousin's 12 year old kid the other day. First of all, I can't stand the kid. All he does is play video games, and all he talks about is video games. His father used to live in the apartment across the hall from me, and he would always knock on my door, not say hi or anything, and expect to come play video games at my house. He talks way too much for a 12 year old, and at inappropriate times, like when adults are talking about adult things, he just interrupts and puts his two cents in. I do not like to be around him.
But my original point was, when he was over, he saw a few rage face stickers on my laptop and knew exactly what they were. Not only that, he seemed to know all about reddit, or more than a 12 year old should IMO. So what age do you think it's ok to let your kid on this awesome/horrible/disgusting/wildly inappropriate site? | My annoying 12yo cousin seems to know everything about reddit. Does your kid? |
t3_x7v7v | AskReddit | I broke up with my last girlfriend two years ago but still thought about her a lot until recently when she started a Twitter war with a celebrity and made a complete ass of herself. Reddit, what finally made you get over your ex? | I'm moving out of the country in a week and I decided to check up on old friends and exes through social media.
So I dropped in on her Twitter feed and saw the angriest most spiteful biting backlog of Tweets culminating in a spat with a certain actor last week over an innocuous comment he made about some women being sexy in a photo. My ex is a feminist and she shamed him and he responded amicably and with class but she pushed on playing hardline batshit crazy better than any TV opinion anchor or evangelical. I don't think I've ever known anyone as angry as she is and I can definitely say that after two years, I'm glad I moved out and am not in that relationship anymore. | Got closure because I saw my ex go full flaming dragon breath at a celebrity on Twitter |
t3_11mg9z | AskReddit | Is college worth going to? | Tell me if I am in the wrong subreddit.
So, after a year of being on reddit, and reading the perspective of hundreds of people who are in college or have graduated college, I get a really abysmal feeling of going to college. A lot of people have complained about how much money it is to go to college, student loans, what to major in, the economy shifting too quickly, and not even getting a job in their field of study after graduation.
I am currently in my first semester of college at a community college, just doing my generals, I am still 18, and I feel like there are so many other ways to be successful without needing a BA or higher. I still plan on getting my Associates, but that's very bare minimum. I understand people who go to college get paid more annually, and their chances of GETTING the job are higher. However, if I want to start a business (which I do), I feel like that is something that simply takes experience, money, and hard work (like everything else in life), but I don't see what college classes will help with that.
Also, Is there anything wrong with taking a few years off of college and just saving up money, hanging out for a few years and just kind of travel to other countries with my friends? Would I be behind everyone else if I took things easy until age 21-22? | seriously, what is up with college, is it worth going to? |
t3_13yq8i | relationships | I (35m) may have really F****** things up with my (24f) girlfriends. Looking for advice... | I'll try and make this as short as possible.
Thanks in advance.
I 35m had planned on proposing to my 24f girlfriend on our anniversary in a few weeks. We have been together for 3 years. We've had our ups and downs, but we've gotten through it. I love her more than anything and I know she is the one for me.
**Problem**
so here's the problem. A little while ago she was perusing on our computer. when she came across some porn sites I had been looking at. She has no problems with me looking at porn, and never has. I've always been open with her about it...and shes always been totally accepting, so its not something I try and hide. However, what she found after clicking some links, was that I had made a few comments on some of the links. Stupid things that I think most men who look at porn think... She was at work one night, and I just happened to make a few comments. I regret it now, that I didn't think about at the time, how it could hurt her.
Anyway, she was extremely upset. I understand why and all of that. She definitely has a right to feel that way. Its not something I NEED to do, and I have no problem never doing it again.
The issue is, I have been planning this proposal for over a year. I know she's been wanting to get married. I know that this fight, while its been bad,(mostly just upset that I hurt her feelings) is not the end of our relationship. I've told friends and family its happening, and its not something I can really reschedule. (involves out of town family and travel)
Im just wondering...if its still a good idea to propose after a fight like this? I REALLY want to do it when I had planned...but Im not sure if the hurt of this incident will damper it at all. | My gf is upset with me from some stuff she saw online. Should I still propose in a few weeks? |
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