id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 1
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.51k
| summary
stringlengths 0
1.79k
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_334j3y | GetMotivated | [Discussion] Desires do not burn like they used to | I feel as though desires are fickle. Trying to strive for the best, to have high accomplishments (bodily, mentally, and monetarily), to become enlightened have waxed and waned as I have gotten older. It seems as though inspiration to do things is fleeting. I feel like I've become content with things as being as they are rather then struggling to be the best. Is this just a natural decline when aging (I am 27)? I don't find I need much to be happy but rather just trying not to be depressed or sluggish.
I guess currently my life isn't very challenging or stimulating mentally with the work that I do (English Teacher), so maybe that plays a part but I feel like I've hit a point where motivation to do things just seems like wasting energy for something that is impermanent and fleeting. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. but I am trying to work the concept out in my head. When I think motivation I envision something akin to a burning furnace inside one's soul that consumes only that which brings forth a desired outcome. I just don't feel that. I guess I may be experiencing ennui. | Is motivation something that should burn deep inside and consume or is it fleeting? |
t3_2efgxf | relationships | Me [20/F] with my now Ex-boyfriend[23/M] just broke up after just over a year. I could use some advice on how to get over jealousy and I guess I just need some general guidance on what to do now. | My boyfriend and I have had a rocky relationship from the start. We both pretty much had accepted that it was doomed but neither of us were ready to let go so we stayed together until a few hours ago when we decided we just couldn't do it anymore.
While we both brought problems into the relationship, a recurring one that I struggled with was jealousy. It killed me a little bit every time he went out with his female friends or doted on one of them. Now that we finally called it off, something I cant get out of my head is how pointless my jealousy was. He never gave me any reason to doubt his faithfulness, yet I still couldn't keep the green eyed monster at bay. I know its too late to do anything about it now, but this has been a recurring problem for me in every relationship Ive been in. I don't want to feel this unwarranted jealousy in my future relationships. How do I get over irrational jealousy?
Also, I'm feeling pretty shattered right about now. I would really appreciate any advice you all may have for picking up the pieces? | How can I get over my irrational jealousy? How do I pick up the pieces and get over a break up? |
t3_1zi1ym | relationships | Me [18/M] finally ended it with my ex [17/F] after five months of false hope. How do I finally move on? | I've been dating my now ex for 2 years long distance. She told me she couldn't do long distance 5 months ago and I told her I needed some space while I sorted some problems out (school/family/addiction to gaming) and we agreed to put the relationship on hold while we figured things out. I got my life back on track and I was eager to get back with her. That was 2 months ago. For the last 2 months she's been telling me how she still harbored feelings for me but was falling in love with another dude. I foolishly enough believed that "we" were still possible and waited for her for 2 months.
Today she finally told me that she no longer had feelings for me at all and she really loves her current BF and she moved on. I couldn't accept it for a while and tried all that I could in an attempt to win her back. Now I realize that it was impossible and I was a fucking fool.
Prior to this, I started lifting and for a while she was off my mind. But recently my old feelings about her just keep coming back to me. Now that things are officially over I'm afraid these feelings won't go away. My question is how do I get my mind off her? | What's a teen to do to completely move past a girl? |
t3_spq41 | GetMotivated | Stop living vicariously. Live YOUR life! | This last semester, my life headed down the wrong path. I was becoming a negative person and kept wondering why all the women I talked to no matter how hot on the outside, were ugly inside. Although I was trying everything to be a good person; working out, yoga, eating healthy, I didn't understand how to be happy and motivated. Genuinely happy people avoided me.
Over spring break, I met a group girls that restored my hope. She turned out to be one of the coolest, most down to earth, positive people I have ever met in my entire life. Her positive energy was a catalyst that helped me go back to my natural self.
Since spring break, I am restructuring my life to transition from a State school to a Poly technical school. | This chick helped me turn my life from negative back to positive. |
t3_37wwc7 | tifu | TIFU by watching Season 6 finale of Dexter [Spoilers for Dexter, obviously] | So, I made a lifestyle change about a week ago and decided to try out a Ketogenic diet (obligatory plug for /r/keto, great place full of great info). When first starting out, many people develop flu-like symptoms. I had not been feeling amazing today but it was luckily just a little bit of nausea, so it was under control. Until I decided to finish season 6 of Dexter.
At the very end of the season finale, as you should know, Dexter's sister discovers that he's a serial killer, or at least catches him in the act of a murder. During the lead-up to this finale, I was on the edge of my seat on my couch, resting on my thighs. I guess I put just a little too much pressure on my lower stomach area, because right as the episode ended, I felt a sizeable fart escape.
Only it wasn't a fart. Apparently on Keto, there's something called a "keto fart", which essentially means you run the risk of sharting yourself in the early stages. | Season 6 finale of Dexter caused me to literally shit my pants. Wife nearly died laughing at me. |
t3_2o32mn | relationship_advice | Sometimes I [22/m] just want to break up with her [22/f] | I went to university this year and it kind of screwed our relationship. We've been together for 10 months now, we dated 3 years ago for 7 months but we ended up breaking up and I went into a depression but made my way through it and went good. 10 months ago we started dating again and until 2 months ago it was all perfect. Now it's just all ruined, we talk by the phone all the time every week and are only together on weekends, and is pretty difficult because she works at the same time so we don't have much time together. We don't have anything to talk about now, it's the same drill every day and it's really boring. We get into discussions often now yelling at each other for nothing worrying. 3 weeks ago she almost tried to give us a time but then said she couldn't do this to me and so we just forgot about it and continued. We both agreed in giving the best out of us to ensure this relationship doesnt end but it has been very difficult. I really love her, she's the most important person in my life, I really can't imagine my life without her and I don't want to get into a depression again, but sometimes I think the best is just to end this and try to live my life. Can you people help me? It's really frustating, I really don't know what to do, should I just hold on and wait for it to get better or just end it? Thanks. | Our relation was perfect, went into university, screwed it up now don't know if we should break up or just give it another try. |
t3_3sa616 | relationships | He [25M] treats me [20F] like shit. Why can't I leave? | This is going to sound pathetic.
We began dating two years ago, tomorrow is our anniversary. He was very charming at first, but things changed. Long story short, he lies, insults my interests & hobbies, cams/flirts/sexts/pays&buys gifts for other girls (which I consider cheating. He said he'd stop, but I've caught him three times, but he's done it throughout the entire relationship), and he's threatened to beat me until I'm bloody, he'll break my things in arguments, doesn't contribute to bills/rent, accuses me of being a lesbian and cheating if I want to see a friend, etc. The list goes on.
I broke up with him in September, and kicked him out, so he doesn't live with me now, but I foolishly took him back. When I'm home & away from him, I feel wonderful and confident in myself. It's like as soon as he shows a hint of sweetness, or expresses that hes sad/upset, I'm drawn back in. For some reason, I put him before myself. It's like I'm addicted. I'm always fighting with myself on whether or not to stay, even though I know what I need to do. I just never go through with it. I feel like an IDIOT. I'm so fucking weak. I don't even love him anymore, but I prioritize him. Aside from my new roommate, I don't really have friends. I don't want to let my parents know how he treats me.
I plan on going to a therapist this week, because this relationship has brought back deep depression & anxiety that I can't control. | My boyfriend is emotionally abusive, and possibly physically abusive. How can I leave this terrible relationship & stay gone? |
t3_1a8pzx | legaladvice | Advice sought about a pardon | I've got two juvenile felonies that were both "adjudication withheld" along with one adult misdemeanor for non-criminal trespassing. I've spoken with a recruiter about this and he said that I've got too much of a criminal history to enlist. (There are also two juvenile felonies that were nolle prosequi, but from my understanding those do not effect my eligibility, please correct me if I am wrong.) All of my juvenile charges stem from one incident.
I've been doing some research, and while I understand that expunging my record will have absolutely no effect as far as the military is concerned I've not been able to find any information about a pardon. I spoke with my recruiter about this issue, and he did not have an answer for me, he said that he would be unable to tell me what effect a pardon would have on my ability to enlist.
I've been able to find out that I would still need to disclose that the incident occurred, and that I would still need a waiver even with a full pardon. I've also found out according to the Pennsylvania FAQ on pardons that they do restore your right to enlist, and the Florida FAQ on pardons implies that it would restore said right. Though my conversations with recruiters seem to unsure of the effects of a pardon.
My question is, if I get a full pardon would that help me join the U.S. Armed Forces or not? | Does a pardon help you enlist in the military? |
t3_3bekk0 | relationship_advice | I (18f) think my boyfriend (19/m) has lost interest in me. | We've been together for 9 months now. He used to be really caring and loving and everything was fantastic. But lately, he doesn't really listen to me that much (he's usually on reddit when I'm trying to have a conversation with him) and he just doesn't seem interested. Sometimes I feel like I'm not even in a realtionship with him, it feels like we're just fwb like we were before our actual relationship. Sometimes I have to ask him to cuddle with me, or do romantic-like things with me (have sex, stuff like that). He NEVER plans dates, which hurts. I just feel like he doesn't care about me and I'm starting to slip into depression. I love him to death but I can't stand not feeling cared about or important. Whenever I bring up this issue with him, he gets really mad. Also, he doesn't like for me to use his phone. He's had a horrible temper towards me recently, which is new. Should I even stay in this relationship? I feel like he doesn't love me anymore. | I think my boyfriend has lost interest, he never plans dates and I have to practically ask him to be intimate with me. He has an unusual temper towards me. |
t3_iscd5 | AskReddit | My girlfriend is severely depressed due to past relationship, what can i do to help her? | Ive been going out with her for two months now, i am 17 she is 16. It is my first relationship so i'm not very good at dealing with a situation like this.
The source of her depression is linked to her previous relationships but more so her last one. The dude was absolutely insane and ultimately destroyed the person my girlfriend used to be. The dude was a real cook, according my girlfriend he went to a renowned psycologist and his case was extremely interesting to the psycologist. The kid abused my girlfriends goodwill and trust. She sacrificed her welfare for a year and a half to try and make this kid happy but in response all she would get were depricating insults, minor physical abuse, and an inability to express her own feelings. All the ex-boyfriend would get from her would be sympathy and whenever he would get it, he would throw it back in her face with very demeaning insults. Then one day he was really sad and she showed little interest (obviously acceptable) and he responded by cutting himself in order to recieve the sympathy that he never once appreciated. The kid was just absolutely insane. There's more too but hopefully you get the point. She lost her old personality becase now she always depressed And is now on zolaft. Ive tried telling her multiple times not to dwell in the padt tat you cant change, dont forget about it because you should learn from this experience, but just dont let it bring you down, focus on your future and present instead. It just doesnt seem to be working, everything i do, its very hard for me becusde it makes me seem powerless. Worst of all, our relationship is suffering drastically on an emotional level because fears that ill just be another shitty relationship, she is afraid to install her trust into me and to be vulnerable again. Im willing to wait because i do love her, but if there's anything else you suggest i could do to help her please comment. Thank you. | girlfriend is severely depressed to a horrible relationship she was in, destroyed her completely and now our relationship is lacking growth. Help please. |
t3_drfmy | AskReddit | Less than 36 hours until I'm 31 and I've got a Venn Diagram and am trying to figure it all out. | [aformentioned venn diagram](
So as the title indicates I'm trying to figure out what I should do with my career and life in general and figured I'd humbly ask the hivemind oracle of reddit. I've had a few different careers that for one reason or another I ended up leaving. I'm currently a senior finishing up my electrical engineering degree and hopefully have about a year left *crosses fingers*. I stopped going to college back in 2000 in the height of the tech boom, got a good job at Dell and figured I'd be there forever. Then tech slump of 01 then other events in 2001 made the market rough for a short time. I got a job doing autocad drafting for my dad's land surveying company and after about 9 months got another job back in the network sector doing support for network gear all over the country, learned a good bit of linux, cisco ios and got pretty good at understanding the nuances of tcp/ip and routing. Well that lasted 2 years, then was laid off again, booo. So then back to autocad drafting I went for the land surveying company and then got my real estate license as I was putting together a development company that would take large tracts of land (150ac-250ac) and split them up and sell much smaller tracts of (10-30acres). Did this for 3 years until the bubble popping. Since then I went back to land surveying / autocad drafting and re-enrolled in school to finish my degree. I've completed 1 year already and have just 1-1.5 years left. The reason I went for electrical engineering is that's what I had already begun when I exited school a decade ago. In trying to figure out what I want to do when I've graduated, I believe that I'd like to work in the renewable energy sector in a combination of solar & wind to come up with strategies to meet our energy demands. | i'm about to be 31 and am worried about wtf to do when/if i graduate. |
t3_1qk4k3 | relationships | Me [25 F] with my on-and-off SO [25 F] almost 2 years, broke up with me last week, won't return my things | The breakup was a long time coming, and she finally ended it last week. We had already been in an off period for a couple weeks, when I had asked her to return a ring I gave her and a shirt I'd lent her. Both were favorites of mine. She also said I was "free" to return a ring she had given me. The day after she broke things off for good, I sent her the ring in a UPS package as she implied that she wanted.
It's been 9 days now--longer since I asked for my things back. I had my roommate text her last night, and again this afternoon when she didn't respond. It's not like her to ignore people's texts. I don't know what to do next--legal action seems not only extreme, but also unjustified. There is way more backstory to this but I guess I wanted to vent about her--someone who just 9 days ago told me she loved me and always would, and now is seemingly refusing to acknowledge my requests for my things.
Why do people do things like this? | On-and-off SO won't return my things after breaking things off; why?? |
t3_4armk5 | relationships | My [21] girlfriend's [18] dad physically abused her because we had a pretty bad fight | We live in a pretty conservative environment, with her family being more conservative than mine. My parents know about us but her parents think i'm just a suitor who is still courting her. We have been in this relationship for 9 months now but we are currently going over a rough patch. You see, I sometimes panic and tell her what she wants to instead of telling her what she needs to. And she notices. I know she deserves the truth, but sometimes to spare her feelings, I try to tell her what she wants to hear. I don't cheat, i am loyal and faithful, but she wants me to tell her everything, from the smallest of things the biggest of things. Something i am still in the process of doing. We are currently in a fight about it, and it got to the point where she couldnt hold back her emotions and her parents heard. She tells them everything and her dad gets mad and physically abuses her. I heard it all through the phone. I do not know what happened but i heard a smack and cries of pain and sobs from the woman I love. I truly care about her and want to fix everything in our relationship, but I do not want her to continually be hurt because of my failure to tell her everything, and because of her dad abusing her. What do I do? | My girlfriend of 9 months and I get into a fight and it gets to the point where she cant hold back emotionally, and her parents hear and her dad gets mad and physically abuses her. |
t3_2jbaau | relationships | Me [33M] with my wife [33F] of five years - we have different definitions of a 'clean' home. | We have different definitions of clean. She see's clean as 'a kitchen counter that has been wiped down' and I see clean as "the couch is not covered with stuff'. Not sure how to bridge the gap.
Basically, I want things in our home to have a 'home', to have a place to go, so they are not strewn around our place , getting in the way all the time. In my opinion, having stuff all over the ground in our bedroom and living room, etc is a distraction from how I want to be spending my time at home. I would rather have a clear area for my son to walk around in and be able to focus all of my attention on him - instead of having to move stuff out of his way or watch him stumble on something.
My wife thinks that spending too much time on this, on keeping things out of the way is a waste of time and investing time in that regard takes away from spending attention on family because you are always thinking about cleaning it up.
She says she will be clean if I keep the counter tops clean. I've tried that, but there's always stuff all over the counter. I try to explain to her that I can't vacume if there's stuff all over the ground - it's double the work to have to pick everything up every night.
I'm not asking that the place be impeccable, I'm just asking that the state of 'normal' is that I don't have to constantly watch out for tripping on something, knocking something over - or waste time looking for something I need. The reason for wanting this is because I want to spend the few spare moments I have , really enjoying time with my family.
I've tried to explain to her, I've tried to compromise, but when she does try to clean up - it's still a total mess. It's still chaos and she asks me 'how clean is it to you' with this look in her eye that shows that she tried really hard. I don't have the heart to say that it's still messy. | Wife thinks clean is having a clean kitchen counter , I think clean is putting things back and not leaving them everywhere. It drains me and I feel defeated by it. |
t3_31zn8t | Parenting | 7yo shutting down | My 7yo for as long as I can remember will whine. She can talk just fine but when upset or confronted she shuts down and will just whine and grunt instead of saying anything ie. I asked her to get dressed this morning which was answered with whining and hiding in her closet. I'm not sure what is causing the grunting/whining, is she scared of me? is she doing it for attention? does she want help? I'm at a complete loss and when I try to talk to her about it just more grunts and it's not just with me with all the family but she doesn't do it at school or daycare. We bought her a journal so she could write down her feeling and so far I don't think she's used it. Any help figuring out why she does it or getting her to open up would be great. | 7yo whines instead of talking when upset. How do I get her to open up? |
t3_25bc3g | loseit | Have I cut too many calories? SW:450 CW:440 GW:~200 Male. | I wanted to lose wait quickly so I checked out my [BMR] does this mean I burn 3.6 calories a day doing nothing?), so I cut my calories down to between 1500 and 2000 a day. I've been doing this for about 3-4 weeks. I lost about 10 pounds in the first week and a half but now my weight hasn't moved at all... Mainly I don't do much exercise because I'm still not super motivated (hoping that losing weight would help with the motivation) but do small workouts every so often. My question is: Is my body in starvation mode or something and just holding on to everything I put in? | Why am I not losing weight even though I've cut down my calorie intake? |
t3_2zu6iy | relationships | My [23 M] girlfriend [27 F] invited people she knows I despise to my birthday event. | My birthday is this Wednesday! So, Tuesday night I have a gig booked at a local bar. At midnight we will celebrate and continue to have a good time. I made a private FB event for the party and proceeded to hand pick invites to people. None of that mass spam inviting, just picked people who I would love to spend that evening around - in addition to people I believe will actually come..
I didn't rent the whole bar out, but we will have a private area just for the group. I don't mind if people bring friends, either.
However, after looking at the event page - I noticed my girlfriend had invited some people via her account. People I can't stand, people I hate. Ex-boyfriends of hers, people in the music scene I avoid, people who I know merely put up with being around me because I'm her boyfriend.
We have many mutual friends and most of them are coming, but some people in her life I do not get along with and they make me uncomfortable. I asked her why she would invite these people and she won't give me a reason. She keeps saying it's not my private bar and she was just trying to help the night. She is well aware I don't like these people and is claiming I'm being childish for getting mad that she invited them. She didn't mass invite, either! She scrolled down her list and invited these people.
She is making me feel stupid for being upset about it. I've since removed those people from the friends list, but feel totally disrespected. How would you react? What should I do to really punctuate that my feelings are valid and should be treated as such? | girlfriend invited people I hate to my birthday and makes me feel bad for being upset about it. |
t3_2fkpxv | relationships | Me [23F] struggling to cope with my [24M] husband (4years) who seemingly just doesn't listen. | My husband doesn't listen to me, not always, but worryingly often. He also has a bad memory and combined it is not a winning combination. I will talk to him about important things (such as my sister's recent death/our children etc.) and look at him for a response, until he admits he wasn't listening. This happens so much. It's very upsetting.
Other examples include when he goes out to the shops to buy sanitary items or even prescription medicine and comes back with everything else possible except what was needed. Even when I write lists.
He will go into the kitchen to get a knife or a drink and come back without it. On a daily basis. He will do this more than once in a row. He will forget important appointments. He will loose important things.
We will have conversations about mundane subjects and suddenly he will be angry, claiming I have said something I have not. Something that is upsetting or offensive to him. But I really haven't. Sometimes its something that sounds vaguely similar to what I have said (such as hearing "you're not good enough" instead of "you're so good my love") but more than likely it's completely unrelated to what I have said.
I am losing the will to live with this situation. I have talked to him about it and asked to to get medical help about his memory but I don't know what I can do. Please help! | Husband either has a worryingly bad memory or just doesn't listen to me, I am losing my patience. |
t3_x9z7q | AskReddit | Reddit, what's your biggest cooking failure? | I just moved out on my own, and have been cooking for myself. Everything I make turns out great--unless I use the stove. The first time, I burned the nonstick off of my pan. And last night, I attempted to make bacon. I burned it on one side, and anticipating that something would probably go wrong with my luck, I decided to admit defeat, remove the bacon, and turn off the stove.
Upon turning off the stove I decided it might help to move the pan off of the electric burner. The moment I lifted the pan, it burst into flames. I stared at it in disbelief for a moment before I ran around looking for baking powder, failed to find any, began to panic, and dialed 911. But before they picked up, the flame died down.
I remember my clearest thought: "WHY DID THE LAST TENANTS PUT WOOD SHELVES OVER THE STOVE!?" | I'm sticking to eating cereal and ordering pizza; I will be rearranging the shelving. |
t3_krkfg | AskReddit | Is it ever okay to not leave a tip? | So long story short, a couple of friends and I went to an upscale pizzeria. The food was pretty good, but the service was absolutely horrible. In total, we probably spent 30 minutes eating and over an hour sitting at our table simply waiting for the check/receipt/menu, etc. Four people had to get up and find the waitress.
In the end, the check was $78.xx. We left $80. When she never returned our receipt or change, we just left.
As we're leaving, the waitress comes out chasing after us. This is where the story gets ridiculous and why I am posting this. She confronts us says, "The manager wanted to you know that if you don't leave a 10% tip, you aren't welcome here anymore."
We're kind of shocked by this statement and told her that the service was unsatisfactory. She does some hand waving motion with a lot of sass and tells us that there was nothing wrong with the service. Of course, we didn't appreciate this so we just left.... not going to go back there again.
But for future reference, are people always supposed to leave?... | title |
t3_3ojr2c | relationships | My boyfriend (M25) and I (F28) have been together 6 weeks. He told me some pretty extreme things he did which have changed my thoughts about him | My boyfriend Steve and I have been together for just over a month. He's a lovely, sweet boyfriend who is very affectionate. We went away for a few days and had dinner. He dropped a huge bombshell on me at dinner which is what this post is about.
He told me around 5 years ago, which would have made him 19-20, he held up a post office and petrol station with a gun. He never shot anyone, nor did the gun even have bullets apparently.
He said he did 4 hold ups with his mate in the getaway car. This rocked me quite a bit. He also admitted his uncle who died before we met overdosed on cocaine. He used to use cocaine with him once a month and stopped after he died.
I am concerned. My friend who I confided in after he told me was shocked and was worried about what would happen if he lost his temper. I am scared that if he can commit armed robbery once he can do it again. I won't stand for it and I certainly wouldn't stay with him if I found out he did it while with me.
Should I judge him for his past? Should I believe he's clean and no longer a criminal? I feel strange around him now. I still kiss and hug him, visit him and spend time with him. He is, for all intents and purposes, a perfect boyfriend. He promised me he isn't into that stuff anymore and he would never do it again.
He regularly talks about marriage and having kids, even randomly mentioning kids names. This makes me uncomfortable because it's still to early for that kind of commitment. I don't know how to bring it up either. I like the guy, but I wish he never told me his past so soon. | new boyfriend of 6 weeks admitted to me he committed armed robbery 4 times 5 years ago and used to do cocaine with his uncle who has since died of an overdose. Colored my perception of him and not sure if I should give the relationship time. |
t3_1gs3od | relationships | Me [18 M] and my girlfriend [18 F] are on a break... But she saw another guy | We've been together for 9 months and I love her more than anything. But we recently been on a break where (reluctantly for me might i add) we see other people. I didn't think anything of this and didnt bother to try to see anyone. I had no desire to. It's been 10 days... I've been lonely just working and staying at home. Well... She came over today and informed me she saw this guy, a real scumbag, like when I say scumbag I mean he bragged at football about "fucking this hot ass milf in the bed of my truck and she gave me a rim job and she called but I never talked to her again" kinda guy. Like that's a true story. Well she recently moved to here and I know she didnt know how much of a shit bag this guy is, and well they went on 4 dates.
I know it's not too big a deal, she apologized and cried a lot today, but they did stuff that her and I do on our dates, which sucked to think about. He took her to downtown, then to a really nice fudge place her and I go to. It sucks knowing this, she also saw a movie with him. They only kissed, well "made out" twice. That's fine. It bothers me but life goes on I suppose. She said she wants to be with me and not him, and I'm seeing her again tomorrow..
I guess I'm just writing this cause I'm hurt, don't know what to do or how to feel. I punched a God damned tree today for crying out loud.. Which shows I don't know what to do.. I've never cried so much... Fuck relationships are hard :'( | girlfriend went out and dated and I didn't think she was seriously going to... I know this guy too and sent a message to him.. Fuck this guy. Really. >:( |
t3_3rctmv | relationships | My [22f] bf [24m] just stares at me when I try to talk through issues | My bf and I have been together two years. Lately we've been fighting a lot. Whenever we argue or I want to work on any issue he doesn't say anything. I even cry and beg him to just say one thing. He just stares at me like he's mute or something. Could I be coming on too strong and scaring him? I don't know how to discuss anything with him. Like he told me he wasn't going to drink at this Halloween party but he later said oh I said I wasn't going to drink if my friends didn't make me. And I was like why did you tell me different? He went silent of course. Do you guys know anyone who does this and how to get them to talk? | when my bf and I argue he just stares at me silently |
t3_234yis | relationships | I'm [20M] having trouble breaking the ice with my girlfriend [21F]. | When I first arrived here at college my freshman year, I did my fair share of "getting around" with other women until about halfway through the year I met my now girlfriend. We've been dating for about a year and a half and to be completely honest, she's probably a little out of my league. I'm now at the end of my sophomore year of college and at first I didn't regret asking her out, but over the past couple weeks I've developed some jealously towards my friends who are still single. We still say "I love you" back and forth, and I'd even go as far as to say she's somewhat attached to me, but I feel as if my feelings for her are slowly diminishing. This puts me in somewhat of an emotional pickle: do I swallow my emotions and end things with the woman I've already put so much time into, or am I just getting greedy and need to appreciate what I already have? I'm stuck in a rut here guys. | Do I break up with my girlfriend of a year and a half to live the "single" college lifestyle? |
t3_4wr9by | relationships | Me [25 M] cannot figure how to solve my love life. | I'm a 25 male living in india(with my parents, their only child). I fell in love with my niece(3 years ago), the relation isn't close one, my grandmother had 13 siblings out of which one had a child, this child is my niece's great grandmother. We both knew all of this before falling in love but I never thought my dad would be against it. When my dad got to know he got furious but he only said one sentence "You're actions are hurting me", I replied saying fine and said that never ask me of marriage again.
I cannot leave my dad/family as they have no one who would take care of them also we are frowned upon we live away from our parents in our culture, nor do I want to leave my girlfriend/niece as I truly love her from the bottom of my heart. Also to add things my dad and her dad were very good to each other (even when my dad got to know about our relationship). But because of some land issues they've had a fight and seem to have ended up fighting pretty badly with each other. To make the matters worse for her, her parents don't live with each other and are going for a divorce.
My dad is not one of the talk to guys, he never speaks of the subject nor do I like to go and talk to him about it, he's not the one you can convince. He's rarely changed for anyone. I feel guilty not able to give my girlfriend the life she wants, the life that I promised her.
I'm at my wit's end about this I cannot think anything I can do about this situation.
Would like to get some advice. | 25 M in love with niece, dad doesn't accept this. Cannot leave both |
t3_2omenb | tifu | TIFU by accidentally deleting a graph that's worth 30% of my grade | I'm a pre-med student taking general chemistry. Our lab grade is worth 30% of our overall grade in the course, and any overdue labs, honor code violations, etc. earns you a 0 for the lab grade. This sounds kind of harsh, but they give us plenty of time to work on things and professors have a ton of office hours, so it's usually not a problem if you're on top of things.
Instead of being on top of things, I decided to do my very last lab report of the semester the night before it's due. I struggled figuring out how to do parts of it for multiple hours, but finally figured it out and spent 3 hours perfecting the very last graph I will ever have to turn in for the course.
When I'm adding the last little touch, I accidentally press backspace one too many times and the entire graph gets deleted. Control-Z. Control-Z. Control-Z. Edit-Undo. Edit-Undo.
Nothing. Consulted every trick in the book, but either Microsoft excel or my computer is very stupid and annoying and nothing could really be done.
Remade the graph but started crying, mostly because all I could think about was all the hours I spent on that graph that I could have been using to watch netflix. | Hit backspace too many times and Microsoft excel was too stupid to recover a super important graph. |
t3_3g0euq | legaladvice | Just moved into a Florida mobile home, no central air, Windows can't be opened , window units freeze over during the day while I'm at work and my dogs are suffering, what's my rights reddit? | Recently moved into a trailer with a LOT wrong with it, landlord said she would have it fixed, no central a.c. but was assured the window units worked, I came home yesterday to both of them frozen over and my dogs panting from exhaustion, i have no way of opening my widows so i was forced to hold each one of them in front of the ac one by one.
The land Lord is now claiming that i moved in Knowing the damages.. Which is untrue.
I moved here because tent was so cheap and wanted to try to get a leg up financially, what are my rights reddit? | slumlord advice |
t3_3iqdq7 | relationships | Me [26 F] with my boyfriend [29 M] found out were pregnant but i have a question i don't know how to google. | Basically i just found out I'm pregnant via pregnancy test.
Before our relationship i had my daughter and It was a healthy pregnancy no complications i delivered full turm and over all i enjoyed the pregnancy.
I currently just found out im pregnant sooner then expected but not unwanted.
My current old man basically in his past relationships hes lost 4 pregnancy one he says possably was a abortion being younger its not sure the full details but the 2 of the three were still around 10 years ago and still unsure off all the details but they were similar to his last relationship where she had a tear in the sac and her water ended up breaking causing her water to break at 20 weeks going into preterm labor and loosing the baby i think that's the longest pregnancy hes had or what i can believe hes been there for.
Im just wondering if anyone has simmer situations or know how much his past could effect this pregnancy if at all i just am not sure. | pregnant 1 healthy pregnancy, new husband 4 lost pregnancys could this effect current pregnancy? |
t3_36ku44 | relationships | I [16 M] like this girl [16 F] who I've known well for a few years; things got kinda awkward, can't tell if she's interested or just trying to be friendly | So there's this girl I really like. Earlier this year, I was absolutely positive she liked me. We were pretty close and she gave me every sign of interest in the book. Then I asked for her number online and she didn't respond. (Another detail: before I asked for her number, she seemed upset with me for not talking to her for a while; when I asked about it later she said she was kidding but in retrospect I think she was being was serious)
So things got a little awkward, and now I sorta avoid/pretend to ignore her whenever we're near each other because I think that she's not interested and I bother her. But, often I'm catching her looking at me. Whenever I pass by her at school, initially when we see each other down the hall, she starts randomly looking around; I do the exact same thing to avoid eye contact until we're close. When we finally pass each other, I just say "Hey" and she always responds smiling and waving. She's also butting into conversations I'm having with other girls, but she's not talking directly to me, she's talking to the other girl. I sorta just look away cause I'm shy to talk to her because I actually like her but I'm not sure whether she likes me or not.
Another thing: she's absolutely everywhere! Any time that there's an event or gathering that we would both be present at, I always immediately run into her. Even if there's no reason for her to be where I am, I still find myself constantly running into her.
So can anyone explain what's going on? | Girl I really like was upset about me not talking to her, didn't give me her number, things got awkward, can't tell if she wants to talk/is interested. |
t3_29t3zh | loseit | A desperate Cry for Help | I really need help. Whatever I do I just cannot avoid gaining weight. thinking about my weight keeps me up at night, i feel depressed and void of hope.
My journey started 2 years ago, I was a 16 years old, 5'8" (Still am), 190 lb teenage boy. After being sick of staring at my my body every time I got dressed or took a shower, I had decided that enough was enough and over the course of 6 months lost around lost 60 lbs to around 129 lbs. The weight loss was rapid and I started to actually gain confidence in my body image. The next 18 months saw a gradual slow-down of motivation and action until this May when I graduated High School.
Graduation day me saw meat 138 lbs, about 9 lbs u from what I was used to. I felt disappointed in myself but mostly ignored it. May became June and 138 became 141, and then 144. Now, at the beginning of July I weigh 148 lbs. 3 weeks ago I started running to counteract the gain. I lost one pound after a week and gained three the following one. I started using MyFitnessPal again, but find it near impossible to be as faithful as I once was. I lost all self control and can't find an answer.
I feel helpless, desperate, and disgusted. I'm currently thinking about accepting being fat, facing the fact that it is something that i cannot escape, and should give up ttrying to do so. The only thing keeping me from that is knowing that is not impossible, as i've done it before. Right now though, the person from a couple months ago is all but gone, and left in his wake is a depressed, defeated, slob.
r/loseit, this is my first post on reddit ever. After being a lurker for over 2 years, I've remained too timid to say anything about my situation to anyone, not even my family. These are the first words to ever come from me asking for help in any way, shape, or form. Please understand how important this is to me, at least consider my situation, or take it as an example of what not to do. | after losing lots of weight quickly before, the exact opposite is happening, and I'm just about ready to give up. |
t3_zs29q | relationships | New girlfriend (20f) FREAKING out over texts I (21m) sent to other girls. I've done way worse than text though. Do I have to tell her? | I've been talking to this girl, Kate for about a month now. We started off just texting back and forth and we've gone on a few dates and fooled around a couple times. Things are definitely getting more serious and I really, really like her. I've had a couple short relationships and hooked up a bit. This is basically her first everything.
Since we've been talking I've been talking/flirting with a couple other girls. Just normal things. A couple weeks back I did go to a party and hook up with a friend. No sex, just kissing and sleeping in the same bed. I did something similar right around the time I started talking to Kate too. Its fine when you are single but probably not okay in a relationship.
Yesterday afternoon I'm at her room. Fall asleep and with my phone unlocked. I get a text or she snoops and sees me flirting with other girls and immediately freaks the fuck out. Hysterics. Starts crying. Asking me if I don't like her. Asking if I "cheated" on her. Eventually after some talking and fighting I apologize and promise it won't happen again and ask her to be my girlfriend. The dramatics are kind of a red flag but I really like this girl and I want to be with her only.
I sort of hedged the question of if I "cheated" on her. My perspective is I couldn't since we weren't in a relationship. I'm sure if she knew she would consider it cheating though. Question is should I tell her about the hookups or can I keep it in the past? | New girlfriend concerned over some texts I sent while we were talking. I did much worse than text and hooked up with others during the talking period. Should I tell her or is it okay to mislead her? |
t3_4e8hyr | tifu | TIFU by trying to rescue a dog that was not lost | A couple of weeks ago, one of my close friends' dogs got off leash & ran away. We were all worried sick, the dog ended up getting hit by a car, and he is still recovering from his adventure. So, when I was driving home from work and spotted a different dog running up the sidewalk without a leash on, I was worried that we had another similar situation on our hands.
When I saw the dog running, I immediately pulled over and got out of my car. I called to the dog, and he came running up to me (he was super cute and very playful). I checked the tag on his collar, and his home actually was only a few blocks away, so I figured he must have gotten out recently. *Great!* I thought, *I can save his owners hours of worry by returning him right now!*
I picked up the dog, opened up my car door to bring the dog to his home, when a guy about 10 feet away from me yells, "HEY LADY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY DOG??" I panicked, tossed the dog out of my car, hopped in and sped away. | Some man was taking his dog for a walk off leash and saw a crazy lady (me) pull over & try to kidnap his dog. |
t3_45eumr | relationships | My[22F] boyfriend[23M] prioritizes his friends over me | I have been dating my boyfriend for 1 year and 3 months. We have had our ups and downs but have been happy overall together.
This summer I was away for 3 weeks on vacation to visit my family. I really wanted to see my boyfriend as soon as I arrived back from my trip, I told him to pick me up at the airport. ( on the 2nd of February). However, a couple of days before the end of my vacation he told me he was going away on a 3 day trip with his friends on the 1st of February. He also told me that he asked me when I was arriving on chat and if he knew I was arriving on the 2nd he wouldnt have gone. So i checked our history but I accidentally forgot to answer his question (which is bound to happen in a chatroom). I also noticed he asked ONCE.
I was furious that he acted like I was important to him when it was obvious I wasnt. But we moved on.
1 1/2 week later:
The second incident may sound childish, but it still really upset me. 2 days before, I was excited for Valentine's Day because we could spend the day together. We were on a date today and things were really good until he told me he was leaving for a trip tomorrow and coming back on Sunday night ( the 14th) . He said that we could pretend that Monday is Valentine's Day...and that he forgot that it was Valentine's Day. After seeing me get upset at him he told me that he told friends that he would be coming back on Sunday morning(not night).
I decided to go home immediately after this. He acted like cancelling the trip would make me happy. On the way home he kept calling me numerous times asking me for forgiveness and that he would die without me etc but I dont know what to do. | I think my boyfriend prioritizes his friends over me. 1) Planned a 3 day trip before he was supposed to meet me at the airport. Claimed that he asked me what day I was coming and since I didn't answer, he went ahead with his plans 2) 1 and a half week later: He plans a trip with his friends on the 13th (day before Valentine's Day), even though he knew I was excited for Valentine's Day. He says he forgot that Sunday was Valentine's Day and that we can just celebrate on the 15th and act like it is Valentine's Day. |
t3_1bxzz3 | relationships | I (24m) was friends with her (24f) for 2 years, we fell for eachother in a few days and I had to leave. Neither of us want long distance but I don't want to give her up either. | I don't know where else to turn for advice, so I guess I'll try asking the 'experts'. We both went to college together, and knew eachother for about 2 years. She graduated before me, I joined the air force. I always had a thing for her but I never thought anything of it, because she always had a boyfriend in college. Anyway, we stayed in touch after graduation, just friends of course. I took leave to come home and saw her, never expecting anything to happen. But she started giving me hints that something was up. I made a move and we hooked up over the next few days, going out and overall getting really close. At the end of it she told me she had always liked me, and if I wasn't leaving she would want a relationship. I felt the same. Neither one of us wanted to do a long distance relationship, so we agreed that it should end. But after I came back from leave, we still talked and it seems like she still wants to have something long distance, and I sortof do too. I am afraid that if I wait too long to ask for more, she won't feel the same way about me. So should I ask about long distance, or just try to move on? We both have careers and I don't want to hold her back. | Me and a long time friend hooked up, fell for eachother but only had a few days before I had to leave, and now I'm wondering if a long distance relationship is a good idea or if I should just try to move on? |
t3_3iep9w | relationships | Me [19 M] with my (ex?)girlfriend [20 F] of 7 months, took a break, wants back together | We got together when we were both living on college campus. We spent the summer living about 1.5 hours away from each other, but visiting when we could. Over the past 6 weeks or so, she decided she wanted to take a "break in the relationship" to spend time on herself. I was skeptical, but I gave her space and let her do her thing.
Side note: A couple weeks ago, a friend (F) asked to hang out. It all seemed like a date and I wasn't sure how my (ex?)girlfriend felt about it. I asked her and she said go for it. Didn't even hangout with her because of our schedules.
Now as we are heading back to college, she wants to get back together. Here's the thing: she hooked up with some guy. Her reasoning was because she was jealous about me hanging out with some other girl.
I was unsure about what we were (broken up/waiting until we head back to college/who knows what), so I don't know if it's considered cheating. She claims she hated it and only made her want to get with me more. Obviously the hookup irritates me.
Do I give her another shot? | Took a break, she had sex with someone else, she wants back together. Get back together? |
t3_2czryu | relationships | Me [22 M] with my ex-girlfriend [21 F] of a year and a half, on and off and neither of us are sure what to do | Essentially, I had a girlfriend that was the first girl I really loved and we had a lot of fun for a year. At the end of this past March, we broke up and it was fairly mutual. We saw other people between then and July.
When July rolled around we decided to try seeing each other again. We kept it casual and kept it a secret from as many people as we could. We share several close friends, so when we were with said friends we had to pretend like we were nothing more than that, just friends, and that was it.
We'd still go home with each other and sex was good for a solid 2 weeks. We were both really happy with each other again and really enjoyed spending time with each other one on one.
Now it's been a week and a half since we've stayed over at either of our places. She sent me a giant text, saying that we haven't slept together for a while and we were still able to hang out and have fun with each other. She says we should stop sleeping with each other and that we should just be friends. She says she really wants me in her life, but doesn't want anything sexual all of a sudden.
I honestly don't know what to think. I called her after and we talked, and she couldn't give me a straight answer until she got to a point where she said, "Oh my god. I'm friend-zoning you." So we both agreed that we should just take a break until our work schedules both work out so that we can see each other in person and talk about what's going on.
I'm entirely fed up with her after agreeing to try being with her again seeing as it was her idea. At the same time, I don't want to be "just friends" with her. She's the love of my life and she's hurting me so much. A part of me knows I should just end it, but another part of me wants to be with her so much. | My former ex who I've been seeing recently is uncertain whether she wants to keep seeing me or whether she wants to "friend-zone" me. She can't give me any other reason. I have no idea what to think or what to do. |
t3_26905k | relationships | Should I (17/M) be scared? (Xpost) | Disclaimer: this is about family life and not about an S.O
I live in an urban area in the South with 4 siblings, 3 brothers and a sister. One of my brothers is a college dropout and has a particular hatred toward me and my older brother (by a year) for little to no reason, and was always quietly grumbling to himself about petty things, like cat hair shedding or a laundry basket that is too full -- but things have escalated recently.
One night I had a loud argument with my mom and he was one of the things we were arguing about. He did some questionable things afterward [details redacted because he is a redditor, but please shoot me a PM if you're willing to help me settle my nerves a little] | My brother worries me. Am I being paranoid? |
t3_m91av | AskReddit | What Job Should I Get? | **Skills:**
2 years of a Psychology degree (unfinished due to money issues and this not being the right fit for me)
High proficiency for math (103% in pre-calculus as an example)
High proficiency for grammar and writing
Extremely empathetic and able to read and, well, control people. With some exception, see shortcomings for clarification
Great at problem solving. This in the sense that I can often see a way to do things quicker, easier, or cheaper.
**Experience**
Customer service for the last 7 years
2 years experience in reception, 1 as a manager
Experience in sales in a gym
Music Promotion
Mechanics (auto)
Alternative Energy (what I will be going to school in the future to participate in)
Modeling
**Interests**
Extremely passionate about music (all kinds, but especially electronic)
Pretty much obsessed with horses, although most of my experience is western
Avid reader and writer
Politics
Philosophy
Religion (all types, although I am personally what would best be described as Christian..irrelevant I suppose haha)
Fashion
**Shortcomings**
I am not a pushy person. I genuinely believe people are capable of their own decisions and have an extreme revulsion to doing anything more than providing necessary information for individuals to make their own decisions. When it comes to authority positions this is a little different, I have no problem making sure my staff are working properly, although I tend to do it off a platform of respect and trust rather than making them earn it first (they can lose it though!)
I am rather strong willed and will not stand down unless I can be convinced of the other perspective. On the flip side, I'll easily amend my position if I can be shown I was wrong or the other way is better. So I'm great with authority that respects my voice and horrible with authority that just wants blind obeyance.
I can not afford schooling at the moment as I am paying off past student loans. Once they are paid off I do plan on getting my engineering degree.
So in the mean-time reddit, what should I do? | some skills, some shortcomings, not sure what I should do for work while I wait to be able to go back to school for engineering and would like some help with ideas! :) |
t3_v2ixd | relationships | Am I wrong? | My gf(21) of over a year just told me, her bf(20) that she was out walking with her son and stopped to talk to her neighbor. She then told me that her neighbor and her had a "thing" in high school. I'm not so much bothered by the fact that they had a thing, but by the fact that I hadn't known about it whatsoever in an entire year not to mention the blatant hypocrisy going on. I went to my niece's dance recital and saw a girl I had dated and been with, no words or even eye contact was exchanged, and because I try to treat her how I would want her to treat me, I told her I saw the girl. She immediately started asking if I had talked to the girl or found her attractive etc.. Well she tells me that she talked to this guy and is super nonchalant about it, like there should be no reason why I'm upset. And then when I tell her why I'm bothered, she tells me "I knew it would be a problem.." I tell her it doesn't matter and she asks for more so I tell her. She responds with "have I ever done anything for you not to trust me?" I tell her what bothers me a few more times and I get no where. She then begins to turn the blame on me saying "Just nvm ill continue to have no friends."
Is it wrong of me to be upset/am I overreacting about this? I don't care about the "thing," I care about the hypocrisy and how she doesn't seem to care about how it upsets me. Am I wrong in this? Am I being too sensitive? | Gf just told me she was talking to a neighbor she had a thing with. She gets upset if I even see someone I've been with. Am i wrong in being upset? |
t3_205zg1 | relationships | My friend [30M] currently lives with GF [21F], just posted to FB that he is looking for a 1 bedroom apartment. Looking for advice as a friend. | I'm a 26 year old Male. I'm friends with both of them. I've known him for almost 5 years now, and I've known her for about 1 (our group of friends used to hang out with hers). They dated for a few months before deciding to move in together (complicated but it made sense). They've been living together for about 6 months now. Today I saw on Facebook that he made a post asking if anyone knows of a 1 bedroom apartment for sale in the area because he is looking for one.
Obviously, I'm not sure what to do, if anything. I think it's pretty clear this means something is wrong with their relationship (he's complained about tension the past couple months, but he never made it seem really serious), but I don't think it's really my place to ask directly. I was thinking of inviting him out to a local bar we hang out at with another friend of ours, but I don't know if that is making it too obvious. Maybe I should just do nothing unless he brings it up. I'm closer to him then her, but I'm not really on either "side." | Male friend has been living with GF for 6 months, today posted message on FB saying he's looking for a 1 bedroom apartment in the area. Looking for advice as friend. |
t3_3eoubd | Parenting | I'm irresponsible, do I take responsibility for it? | Okay, screwed up today. Door didn't lock, seven year old walked in on me and the husband. It was pretty dark in the room (daylight barely shown through curtains, so not pitch). And we were back to the door, I was bent over, so there was my husbands back end, the motion, and some very quiet talking about coming. He had sneaked in the door and apparently been looking through the curtain on my bathroom door.. For who knows how long. We were abruptly interrupted by s burst of psychotic laughter. He left laughing. Later, after reminding him about my closed door policy, I said something about how was I supposed to get in shape if he laughs when I exercise? He said "that was exercise? Didn't look like that to me". So I responded, well yeah, dad was helping me. So.. Leave it at that? Explain what happened? This is a kid whom I always try to be honest with, and he is very mature. Firstly, I have no idea how he'd know anything about sex, but I don't think he needs to. However, I feel like he knows and now thinks I've lied. Thanks for your constructive feedback. | 7 year old walked in on us, didn't see much but still knows what's up. Is it too early for the talk? And it probably shouldn't be after experiencing that. |
t3_3ifg9z | tifu | TIFU by making meatloaf. | Bonus points for this happening tonight.
I was hungry so I thought Id try a new meatloaf recipe. Fast forward to the last 10 minutes its in the oven, the new recipe calls for a thin layer of BBQ sauce spread on top of the loaf (sounds delicious, I see where they're going with this). Timer goes off, I take the loaf out and it looks great, nice shiny, sticky layer of BBQ sauce on top. I wanted a taste of that sticky sauce bark, so what do I do? I swipe my finger right across sticky BBQ sauce that just came out of the 400° oven. OH fuck. My solution was to lick it all off my finger, because who wastes the best part of BBQ, amirite? OH FUCK. Now that my tongue is melting, gotta fix it. Turn on sink to wash this brown sugar lava off, forget that i just used the hot water to wash the dishes, and get a mouthfull of scalding hot water. | survived afghanistan, defeated by a meatloaf ambush on my home turf. |
t3_47r4ez | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] of three months, asked for a break because she's unhappy | Our three month "anniversary" was this week and it was not a good one. Yesterday she told me she wasn't happy anymore and wanted a break, which I reluctantly agreed to.
Her reasoning was that the relationship wasn't what it was when we started dating. When I asked her what I needed to do differently, she said that I didn't need to do anything and that I had been great.
I was confused.
Today I told her that I wasn't happy either but a break wouldn't fix our problems, that we needed to fix our issues together, not sweeping them under a rug. She said that we need to talk in person about it.
I also freaked out, partially in person when she said we needed a break and over text to our friend, thinking that she was going to use this to find someone else/cheat on me. According to our friend, that didn't amuse her.
This is a college relationship. In two months the semester ends and I go home (about 10 hours away) for four months. Before, we intended to stay together. I want that too. But I'm not sure how to handle this.
We were talking about summer, about the relatively near future when we were talking. I left for a moment to go to the bathroom, then when I returned she said she wasn't happy and wanted a break. It seemed to be on impulse that she asked. She had been somewhat cold for the past few weeks, and admitted to being in denial about being unhappy, and I could tell, but I don't think she wanted to ask.
Reddit, what do I do? | Girlfriend is unhappy and asked for a break. I agreed, then changed my mind with the idea that a break won't solve our issues, only an open conversation |
t3_369u7s | relationships | We [15/M, 14/F] have feelings for each other. She currently does not want a relationship however - what would I call her now if not "girlfriend"? | She had a breakup about 1-2 weeks ago and currently does not want to get into a relationship with me, due to the fear of hurting me in the future. However, we have feelings for each other, plan on meeting often and so on.
Now, from time to time, people would ask, of course. We talked about this already and agreed that we shouldn't use the terms "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" because everyone would assume we're definitely together.
Our native language is german, where "Freundin" can mean either "female friend" or "girlfriend".
We tried coming up with another word which would better describe it so we don't have to explain so much every time, but we didn't find one yet. (Possibilities were: "good friend" (not enough), "best friend" (still not enough) and "best friend +" which however sounded too much like "friends with benefits")
Now I'm asking you if there even is such a word (if anyone german is reading this, even better) which could most accurately describe what we "are" | what do I call her if not "girlfriend"? |
t3_523x4g | relationships | Scared me (20F) about hurtful boyfriend (25 M) (3 month relationship) | This is my first post to this subreddit and this is a throwaway.
I recently started dating this guy and at first he was okay, really nice and stuff. But then later into the relationship, he used to give me ultimatums like 'do x or I'm leaving'. The 'x' bit would be something like 'tell me what I want to hear'. But he used to do it really late at night and, knowing I constantly have a guilty conscience, would do it just before I wanted to sleep. Like I'd tell him I'd be going to sleep then the questions would start.
He'd also do this with bedroom things as well. If I didn't want to do anything like that, he'd just get dressed and say 'right I'm leaving' until I'd agree to it and then he'd be upset that I wasn't 'into it'.
He started getting really possessive too. Like he's being asking me about who I'm seeing and that he's not happy that I'm speaking to some past friends with benefits of mine. He hasn't mentioned it since.
Truth is, I think this is souring and I'm scared to leave him because I don't know what he's going to do if I leave. He's out the country right now but he's gone for a long time- he made me promise I wouldn't leave him while he's gone on his business trip.
Please help? | I want to leave boyfriend who gives ultimatums and guilt trips me but I'm scared about what he's going to do. |
t3_2rsfe0 | needadvice | What can I put out there? | I am a 20 year old university student in the abysmally cold midwest. Im a junior and looking for an internship this upcoming summer. For some context last summer I worked at a healthcare consulting company and given it was a small operation (and well consulting) I ended up developing some pretty fantastic shit for some pretty big names. To put it simply they would ask me to "research" their projects for their clients which ultimately turned into me not only researching but designing and developing what the client asked for. Essentially they would be asked to do a project, I would figure out all the details and what the project looked like, and then the big guy put his name on it and sold it to them. I am very grateful for this experience and very proud of my work. However now that I am looking for new opportunities I was wondering how much of that work I can post online as work samples. I never signed any contracts but I don't want to disrespect the company. | I don't want people to steal my work so I am really torn as to how I can show the things I have done at the consulting company without violating any trust or getting my ideas stollen. I understand this might be pretty vague and I apologize but I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to handle this situation. Thank you so much and I hope you are staying warm :) |
t3_2wg3rx | relationships | Me (19 m) Should i ask her (18 f) out again? | Hey all,
A month ago i met a really nice girl at a party. The first few days after we talked a lot trough texts, and it looked like we both were enjoying it. But when i tried to take her on a date, she told me she wasnt really looking for a relationship at the moment.
So i haven't talked to her for a few weeks, but i still would like to go out with her.
So my question is; should i try to ask her on a date again? Or should i just accept the fact that she doesnt want to date me?
And if you think i should ask her out again, what would be the best way to start a conversation again?
Hope you can give me some advice! | Should i ask her out again? |
t3_4ty22q | relationships | Me [20F] moving too fast with [26M] which met off of R4R | Basically me and guy met off of R4R a little over 3 weeks ago and has been texting, skyping, snapchatting non stop. We spend most nights playing games and through the day sending each other funny snaps or things we encounter daily.
We only live 2 and a half hours away and was deciding to meet this coming weekend. We're going to spend the whole weekend together, and hes going to be staying at my place etc.
But my question, is this moving too fast? I don't know what constitutes as "too fast" for meeting someone with online and having them sleepover and such. We connect very well and have a lot of same interests yet is independent on our own. We planned out a lot of things which always seems too good to be true with someone you're heads over heels over. | Met guy off R4R a little over 3 weeks ago, might be moving too fast by planning way too many things to do together. Don't know if I should slow it down a bit? |
t3_hbrjs | relationship_advice | r/RA, I am having issues with my friend. I don't want to lose her | I'm a 21 year-old guy, my best friend is a mid-twenties girl. She recently went through a breakup (which is for the best), and I have been noticing things that worry me. A while back, a mutual friend told me that my best friend hooked up with somebody we both know. This didn't seem like something she would do. While at her house, she was showing me some pictures on her computer and I noticed she had a semi-nude photo of a male (who was not her boyfriend) on it. It was a typical craigslist-esque photo. I ignored it since I didn't have anything else to make me worry. The last time we were out together, I noticed she was texting quite a lot, and noticed she was texting a guy. Seemingly out of the blue, she received another similar picture message. I worry about her because she has said she is a "good girl" but I keep seeing things that tell me otherwise. I know she has relationship issues and feels the need to be in a relationship, but I worry because I greatly care about her. I know it is only natural to want to be in a relationship, but I worry about her safety, and wonder how I can approach her to tell her what I know without seemingly breaking our trust or making it awkward. | my friend has been acting strange after a breakup and I want to ask her what is going on. |
t3_3lgaum | relationships | I 25 M accidentally hit my girlfriend 25 F | First off I am not a woman beater and I am against all forms of violence especially domestic violence however this keeps on happening...
This has been a reoccurring issue, it happens once or twice a day. I will either bump into her or accidentally elbow her, I think I'm clumsy she things there is more to it. She tells me that I also do it in my sleep, I didn't believe her until she showed me a bruise on her thigh. This is terrifying us, she came from an abusive relationship and I don't want her to think I am a bad person or some nut. Please help me resolve this, do I seek a doctor or some therapist? | hit girlfriend on accident on a consistent basis, how do I stop? |
t3_1g6rsp | AskReddit | Reddit what is something someone has done that just makes you want to beat the living shit out of them? | Here's my story. I ordered pizza today because I was to lazy to go out or make food and when I called to place the order I made it VERY VERY clear that I had an extremely aggressive dog and that they NEEDED to call before coming up to door. Flash forward to 45 minutes later this shit head of a delivery driver comes strolling up to my door and proceeds to ring the doorbell. When I did't get the door right away do to my dag trying to eat through it he started banging on door. It was BULLSHIT. I finally got my dog to the garage and answered the door. When I did I asked the kid if he had directions to call. All he said was "uuuggh yeah but I guess I forgot about it". ( The pizza place is 5 minutes from my house. How the fuck do you forget shit that quick?) At that point I gave him no tip and told him to call next time or I would have my dog eat his sorry ass. I also complained to Domino's.
[ | ]: Little shit head of a pizza delivery driver continues to ring and pound on door after I had left instructions to call do to having an extremely aggressive dog. He's lucky my dog didn't rip him a new ass hole literally! |
t3_2armz9 | relationships | Rant + Advice: My (20F) bullies (18-23F/M) ended up with a better life then me? (they bullied me for at least 5 years or so). | I ended up getting bullied pretty badly by a group of girls, and it still bothers me to this day, but what bothers me most is that they ended up looking good.
They're pretty, they know their make up and skin care, they got their parents support.
While I on the other hand have needy parents who need my attention 24/7, am too lazy to wear make up and take too long doing it and I just feel so bad about myself most of the time. I mean, a 20 year old who doesn't know shit about how to dress and make up. Pathetic, right? | they called me a loser and ugly, and I feel like a ugly loser too, any help on how to overcome this awful feeling? |
t3_52vgfg | relationships | My (23F) partner (25M) doesn't want to spend with our daughter on her (3F) birthday. Am I overreacting? | The titleis wrong I know. Its meant to say "time with our"
Weve been together 4 years.
This past week I was making plans for our daughters birthday and party.
Her actual birthday is on a Saturday.
I was trying to decide whether or not to do it on her actual birthday or after.
My partner said "No definitely the Sunday." (This is relevant later)
We were talking about how he's always working weekends lately. But it ended in me saying "oh well as long as you're not working "3F's" birthday weekend.
He said. "Not the sunday."
I said, well take the day off, you always get days off for other things.
He said I can't its a tournament (he works at a games store)
Suspicious I said "are you working or PLAYING?"
"Well I'm playing"
I said well you obviously have to not go and instead spend it with your daughter on birthday.
He said "oh but i planned to take the day off work and go play magic the gathering."
I flipped and said well wtf you would take the day off for games but not your kid?
He said he was seeing for an hour Saturday morning (he'd finish to late for her bedtime) before going and then Sunday be at her party all day, but I said the party is for her and her friends not family stuff.
He got sulky and pissed off when I put my foot down. | partner doesn't want to be with our daughter on her birthday and wants to play MTG instead and wants to see her the next day for her party instead. |
t3_2wb8nb | relationships | Reddit, please explain to me [23F] the dating game for the not as attractive. | EDIT: FUCKED UP AND PUT DOWN 23F. ITS 23M.
Been surfing dating sites for 2 years now.
No results.
Meanwhile I hear others at least finding new friends before the occasional "I found my lover on (POF/OKC/Tindr/Blendr)" Just puts a guy in a bad mood when they say hi to a person, and usually get nothing in return. That or the conversation goes cold after a few responses.
I'm not gonna sit here and do the "woe is me " bullshit all day. I have other things that I do to keep me preoccupied, like moving to a new apartment, going to local events of my niche, and gaming.
But the loneliness gets to me sometimes and I get stuck in my room for at least 2 days because of depression. | Teach me the ways of dating-fu reddit. |
t3_2n8ndw | travel | Suggestions for a strict 10 day trip in Sept'15 on a tight budget? | Hello fellow travelers! First off thank you to all who have posted reviews, guides, budgets and itineraries for all to share. This community is great because of you.
I'll start by apologizing for the length of this post.
I currently work full time and do a master's program on nights and weekends, so free time is a thing of the past for me. My longest time between classes is 10 days, so I'm planning to save up until September, cash in some vacation days, and wander. I'm here asking for your suggestions on where to go.
Last year, I had the most amazing trip of my life with just a backpack across Dublin-London-Rome-Barcelona-and Munich for Oktoberfest in 14 days. Much fun and joy was had by all. This time, I want to settle in a little more and really get to know a place. My first thoughts have been along the lines of Istanbul, Budapest, Prague, Philippines, Thailand, Greece..... but in the end I eventually want to see the world, so I'm not committed to one place. I would much enjoy another visit to the heavenly Oktoberfest, so if I happen to be in the area I will certainly try to stop in for 2 days, but it's not required.
Budget: under $2000 firm, ALL expenses included, flight, taxes, fees, alcohol, meals, accommodations, everything
For reference, I'm 30, male, extremely comfortable traveling alone, just think some Anthony Bourdain No Reservations style world exploration. I did my trip last year under $2000, using Ryanair and Airbnb the whole way (transatlantic with aerlingus, FYI flying LAX to Dublin in Sept was $830RT incl all tax/fees vs 1100-1300 for most other European dest., the difference more than covered all my travel costs Ryanair and bus/rail throughout the trip).
Anyways, let the ideas flow! | 30/m/ca, 10 days in late Sept '15, under $2k total max, depart Los Angeles, wanderlust, walkabout, no reservations, hit me with it! |
t3_2ei5a9 | relationships | My [55M] mentally ill father is poisoning life for our family [49F] [25M][14F] | I don't know where else to post this so I'm posting here seeking help. We live in Ontario, Canada if that makes any difference.
My 55 year old father has been diagnosed as bipolar, and is possibly schizophrenic, but he's extremely secretive about his condition. I know that multiple psychiatrists in Canada and the US gave the diagnosis with confidence. He didn't work for over 10 years, and now he's finally gone back to work with no real change in his disposition. He's delusional and aggressive at times, passive at others. He always believes the bullshit he spews, though. It's always of something of a moral nature. He's been hospitalized numerous times.
He poisons life for all of us. He accuses my mother of having abortions, stealing money etc. He accuses me of watching pornography (lol), being sexually promiscuous (not really true), that I'm becoming an alcoholic (what?), anytime I go out it's to have sex or drink, not to see friends. This is all because he doesn't have full ... "guidance"... over me. He will take things that are true, and then based on them jump to ridiculous conclusions. He also set up a device hidden in our basement that records all phone calls, and he refuses to repair the other car, so we can have some transportation when he's not at work.
I really don't know what to do. Everyone in the family has enough of his bullshit, and after over 10 years of this kind of behaviour, we have enough.
We want him to get hospitalized and/or out of our life. We've been told that he needs to turn himself in to get hospitalized, and that' there will be a long waitlist.
What do we do? Please help. | Bipolar or Schizophrenic father poisoning our life. How do we proceed? We want him hospitalized or out of our life. |
t3_3d5p7n | relationships | [update] My [24/f] boyfriend [29/m] has done something that has utterly destroyed me. Where do I go from here? | [link to op](
It was a small post but I will update for anyone who cared.
To sum it all up: while we are all frantically trying to find out what happened to him, he was sleeping with his ex. We broke up. I am devastated, just yesterday I told him about how my last ex had cheated on me and how much it hurt me. I dumped several cups worth of pop on his head.
He told me he wasn't sorry that he cheated on me, that he always loved Nikki and never cared for me. He's hoping she takes him back. He said it didn't matter that he cheated because he and I weren't married. While last night was the first night he physically cheated on me he had been emotionally cheating on me the entire time. His family and friends are disgusted with him. As am I.
The end. :( | he was cheating, we broke up, tears and soda were spilled |
t3_3217n8 | relationships | I (20F) found out my current boyfriend (20M) was withholding that my ex was a serial cheater. | My ex and I were together for two years of high school and one year of long distance while I was a two hour drive away at college. I am a very trusting and emotional person, so if there were any signs that he was a cheater I pushed them away. Now I am dating his former best friend who recently deployed. While skyping a few days before he deployed, he told me that my ex had cheated on me all throughout our relationship with multiple women. I confirmed this with one of the girls to be true, but NONE of my ex's other friends knew.
Can I trust my current SO if he was able to withhold this kind of information from me? We were semi-close friends even when my ex and I were together. | My current boyfriend used to be my ex's best friend. After high school, my ex became a jobless loser and my current SO joined the military. As a result, they grew apart. My ex had been cheating on me throughout our whole relationship and my current SO knew but did not tell me. |
t3_319raj | relationships | Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of 6 months, are having issues that I think all come back to me. | So I'm not really sure why I'm posting this but I need some kind words and solace. I'll begin.
I've suffered from anxiety in the past, and it has just recently surfaced. See, I am generally a very funny guy, really happy-go-lucky. 6 months ago I got a girlfriend; she is one of the most wonderful people I have ever met -- gorgeous, smart, everything a guy could want in a girl. Maybe I put her on too much of a pedestal (i'm sure that's part of the problem) but things have really turned South recently.
I tend to psyche myself out a lot. I had a few bad days where I wasn't really my normal self, and then I started to panic thinking that I wouldn't be able to make her laugh anymore or anything. This really snowballed until I have a ton of anxiety around her and it's almost perpetual. I don't know what to do. I've told her everything and she was a bit hurt because I basically said I was having trouble being my real self around her.
I have no idea what to do. I am planning to see someone for my anxiety in general but I want to figure this out with this girl. She is extremely important to me, I just don't know how to stop worrying so much. If someone has more experience than me please say something to snap me out of it. This is my first relationship and I'm afraid I'm making a mess of it. I just want to be my normal self around her. | Anxiety is hurting relationship, don't know how to get rid of it/what to do. |
t3_qt28y | self | Get a rape crisis center established at a major university | [[trigger warning]]
Hi Reddit,
So I'm calling on you guys today to help the Boston University Center for Gender, Sexuality and Activism, as well as survivors campus wide.
**Boston University has no way to get immediate help to sexual assault victims.**
The "system" that is in place right now involves calling the behavioral health hotline and then **waiting to be called back while one of the two counselors trained for sexual assault crisis help is paged.**
Recently, a BU student decided to test this protocol [and was stuck in a loop.] (
[The director of Student Health Services acknowledges that his office is understaffed, but also acknowledges that BU would probably never allocate the funds for more staff members.] (
**Since December, two hockey players have been charged with sexual assault and/or rape.**
The university's response? Look into the hockey culture at BU.
**Meanwhile, a woman reported being sexually assaulted *in the library*, and three women reported seeing cell phones recording them while they were in the shower.**
[Peeping Toms] (
BU has 30,000+ students. Two rape crisis counselors are not enough. They cannot provide the help to the people who need it because there are just too few of them.
**The only way BU will change is if it gets bad publicity. | Please sign this petition to get a rape crisis center established at BU. If we can show the university that enough people care about this issue, they are sure to do something, if to do nothing else but avoid the bad publicity that comes with not listening to their students. |
t3_2zvhuc | relationships | My [27M] ex [28F] just texted me after 1yr no contact. Still not cool about the breakup. What should I do? | We were together 1.5yrs, and I was crazy in love with her. She broke up with me a year ago after she met another guy, and I was stupid enough to fall for the 'but let's still be friends' game for agonizing several months. Kept me on the backburner in case it didn't work out with new guy.
We've been no contact now for a year. I've had her blocked on my phone, until I got a new phone last week. I just got a text from her basically saying "I think about you all the time... Hope you're doing well, you deserve the best". I already deleted it, so I'm paraphrasing.
I know she's only texting me because I just posted that I got a great job promotion to facebook, and I know word got to her via mutual friends. (She's been blocked on fb). She has a great job too so it's not like she's after my money or anything.
I'm over the breakup, but it was cruel to string me along for that long and play with my emotions. I haven't quite forgiven that part yet.
What should I do? Text her back nonchalantly? Be like hey I'm good, doing well. Thanks for asking. Or just not text her back? I have no interest in keeping in touch, but I also don't wanna be a bitch. | My ex just texted me after 1yr no contact. Still unhappy about how we broke up. What's a mature response? |
t3_1vkiu9 | offmychest | This is a subreddit? Excellent. I kind of want someone to just listen ya know? | So first post here, lets see how it goes. Also pardon my grammar please, it is not a strong point of mine.
So there has been a girl in my life for a few years now. Real original huh? Thing is we had a thing a few years back that due to some weird conditions it didn't really work, and I never really got over her 100%. In fact I fell in love with her. I still think about her night and day, I told all my friends "Nah, I'm over her." to pretty much save face. I went and dated several other girls while I had these feelings partially hoping that eventually I would fall for these other girls. Well I never really did fall for them and I hurt there feelings, I am not proud of hurting these girls and it was straight up selfish thinking that I could use these other people to get this other girl out of my head. I then thought if I avoided her for a long time that eventually kind of go away. Nope, that didn't work either since we are in the same social group. We are solid friends (She does not know my feelings) and I want that to be the extent of my feelings for her. Shit, she is one of the best people I have ever met, but its pretty much a 'la douleur exquise' type of thing. I honestly feel so silly and immature for not being able to just get over a girl, I'm a grown ass man who can't just move on. Ugh.
Thanks for reading. | found the perfect girl, didn't work out and I cannot seem to get over it. |
t3_2ii5uu | relationships | My long time friend [F21] and I [M21] are considering a relationship, but she has a...complicated past | Alright so this probably isn't as serious as most of the posts here but here goes..
My friend and I are currently in our last (4th) year at university in the midwest. We met our freshmen year through my friends, who had met her in classes. Long story short, she had a one night stand with one of my guy friends. Not soon after she started a fuck-buddy relationship for a few months with another guy friend and sort-of-kind-of tried to morph it into something more (I'm not too sure on details) but it didn't work cause he is a complete d-bag. Somewhere along this line too she was in a foursome with two of my other good guy friends and another girl. This was all during freshmen year.
Over the next few years she has become friends with our group and we have developed a very good friend relationship (hooking up occasionally as well) but she now wants to take things to the next 'official' level. Her past makes it difficult however.. All of the people involved still hang out fairly often which adds to it, though we're all on great terms.
Given all of this, I still do like/care about her a lot, we share a lot of common interests and generally have a blast together..its just that damn freshmen year. We have talked about her past and she regrets it immensely, though that doesn't change it. I don't know how to just be cool with it though..thoughts? advice?
There's also graduation to consider but that's not too big a deal. | Good friend has past of hooking up with 4 of my friends, wants a relationship. Thoughts? |
t3_15eicf | relationship_advice | Need some advice on relationship between me and a guy friend | Alright so I was mutually interested in this girl for maybe two and a half years. We talked occasionally, but I was never ever able to make anything happen because I couldn't really bring the courage to take the next step. She eventually lost interest and I hold no ill will against her, it was totally my fault and we remain friends, however I still have feelings for her. My guy friend knows about my feelings for her, he consoled me numerous times and was my "bro" during the hard parts. He starts hanging out with the girl and now they are around the dating stage. He never really asked how I felt and just went for it, I had to find out from a mutual friend. Now, moving on from the girl is a given and I'm working on that, but what should I do with the guy friend? I'm kinda disappointed and angry but I still want to be friends. However, my other friends are telling em to forget about both of them. | I like a girl, guy friend of mine knows how I feel, but dates the girl anyway. Should I stay friend with him or forgive? |
t3_46ntyz | relationships | Me [43 F] with my fiance' [40 M] 2yrs 4mths duration, Should/Can I have a wedding with no groomsmen? | My awesome fiance proposed on 10/12/2015 our wedding is set for Jamaica for 10/29/2016. I have 5 bridesmaids that I want to have
beside me. They are all paying their own way! He has a best friend and 2 guy friends that say they are coming, but YET to do any payments or deposits. He feels they REALLY arent coming. So he
does not have any groomsmen that will be attending.
He thinks I should not have any bridesmaids because he will not have any groomsmen and it will seem " awkward" and pictures will look crazy. I really dont care what pictures look like. To me its about having my "girls" with me. I dont feel I should have to change my wants because his friends are too "cheap" to come to be there for him. So here we are, do I not have any bridesmaids and just enjoy them being there or should I carry on with my original plans and have no groomsmen? He has been married before and had the big wedding. This is my first and last. I want it to be PERFECT. Any sugguestions? | !- Should I change to no bridesmaids because my fiance has no groomsmen? |
t3_4zk6br | relationships | Me [17 M] very confused about what to do with my ex girlfriend [17 F] of 11 months, who is currently seeing a rebound [?] | Hi,
Just wanted some advice on my current situation in order to get my ex-girlfriend back
Me and my ex have been split up for about two months now, and she has been going out with another guy (who was worryingly close to her during the last portion of the relationship) for a week today.
She insisted that we stay in contact, and I said that I didn't want to ruin things between her and her new boyfriend, however she said, I quote, 'I will tell him to do one because I can't not talk to you'.
About 3 weeks into the breakup, we met up for pizza and a movie round hers, as friends, and it began to get very heated. She stopped me and herself before we had sex but it was clear the passion was still there, at least the physical side.
After this she was determined to remain friends and still talked to me, but it was very awkward and took us a while before we could talk to each other normally again.
I have attempted no contact at various points, or limited contact I should say and am trying to talk to her less at the moment.
My real question is: What should I do? I'm sure this guy is just a rebound to hide her feelings for me, but I don't know whether to disappear completely from her life (i.e. no contact) until she reaches out or just carry on talking as friends and build attraction until the rebound is over? Very confused so thank you for any response. | Ex is with another guy two months after we broke up: what do in terms of contact to get her back? |
t3_2moshc | relationships | I [19 M] still love her [18 F] | Generics: we were together 4.5 years. She left me. She was my first **real** girlfriend. We are bound to run in to each other now and then... Can't really avoid her.
I know I can't trust her, and I know there's a pretty good chance we won't get back together. She broke my trust, lied to me, and treated me like shit in the end.
...yet I still love her.
It's so stupid! It's like two guys are fighting it out in my head: I want her, but I also know better.
It's ruined everything. I can't enjoy anything, eat, do normal work like I used to. I have no social life either--all because this has turned my world upside down.
**I feel like I won't be able to move on unless I can completely get over her, or unless we somehow work things out**
Any help you can give is appreciated. | I still love my ex, my life is in the gutter, and I don't think I can move on unless I can stop loving her or unless we somehow fix this. |
t3_115poc | relationship_advice | So I [28/m] have been with my gf [26] for 3 years. Love her, but being tempted by another girl [25] who is probably more beautiful than anyone I have ever been with. | Okay, so I know it sounds shallow but I am in a relationship that has been long distance for the last year or so.Not a crazy distance but enough that it definitely causes some tension, especially sexually. When we are together, the sex is really good and I'm happy but along with it being fairly infrequent, I miss having someone in bed with me at night. We used to live together but have been separated because we are both going back to school for second degrees.
We aren't jealous people at all. We are ok with each other making out with others when we aren't around as long as it doesn't go any further than that. But there is a girl in my school that I have been hanging out with in a group setting a lot. It's clear she likes me, and I've been invited over to her house a time or two, which I haven't accepted.
I can't get her out of my mind though. I fantasize about her when I masturbate, have sex (with my girlfriend), and just think about her pretty much constantly. I don't think I could see myself with her in a relationship long term, but am very attracted to her. Seeing her everyday at school doesn't help either.
So I feel guilty, and am wondering if I should throw away my relationship just so I can have sex with this girl? I mean on the one hand the initial reaction is of course not, but I feel bad for my gf when all I can think about is another person in bed. I don't want to date this other person so I just feel shallow as well. But I don't think I will be able to just forget about this girl from school if I choose to stay with my gf. | In a long-distance relationship, but infatuated with another girl who I can't stop thinking about having sex with but don't see myself getting involved with her long-term. |
t3_ge5vl | AskReddit | 26 years old - $41k student debt - no degree; what's your student debt sob story? | Fresh out of high school the wisdom I was given was 'You're on a roll, go get a degree and you're made!'. I had no idea what I wanted to do but I played guitar a lot so I enrolled in a music degree - after two years I had friends who were graduating and they had ZERO professional prospects with that degree so I switched to a BA English program. After three years of the BA program again I found out the same thing - and I was unwilling to do another 2 years to get my Masters, so I didn't go back this semester because I don't want anymore debt at this point. I may go back and finish eventually but right now I just need to get my debt in hand.
Bottom line: $41k debt - unskilled labourer - awesome. | 5 years of essentially useless university education and I'm an unskilled labourer with $41k debt. |
t3_1hzsgs | relationships | Me[18M] with my long distance, FWB [18F]. We are so close to starting up a relationship but I'm afraid because of the distance I might cheat on her. | Me and this girl are really close. She lives an hour away and I don't have a car also she is black and my parents are insanely racist. We talk everyday, skype sex and the work. She's probably been the only girl to make me feel truly venerable. I've never felt like anyone has ever been this close to me.
I was never in any sort of pursuit of a relationship. She basically just came into my life. She is all that runs through my mind. I feel like I don't have the heart or the head to keep me from having someone else in my bed when me and this girl aren't together.
Part of me wants to be alone because it was easier that way. But the other part wants to be there for her and be the guy to care for her but I don't think I can.
I don't understand what to do or even what is on my mind or why I am doing this. If you have any clue, please leave something below. | I really like this girl but if I start anything long distance, I think I'll cheat. |
t3_1sudz2 | loseit | NSV: I joined a gym! [F, 245, 20] | I did it! I got off my lazy butt today and joined the gym!
I have been going with a close friend of mine as her guest for the last month, and I have been feeling really great since. Our schedules haven't been in sync lately, so today when I was lying around the house I decided to get up and join by myself!
I went and worked out for a little over an hour, and honestly, it was kind of weird to workout alone. However, I feel great, and less guilty for lying around the house now that I went and worked out.
I still haven't had any more weight loss, but I can tell my energy level is up and I have an overall want to be healthier. It will come with time. | I joined a gym for the first time in my life, and worked out by myself! |
t3_343qgk | tifu | TIFU By Wasting Time on Memory (RAM) | Ok so this story is substantially lame but I have nowhere else to vent. I have been running Ubuntu 14.10 for the last 6 months but I really miss playing modded Skyrim (great timing, they're removing the payment system). So I reinstalled Windows 7 at my buddies place and boot it up when I get home... then notice that I only have 8GB of RAM!!
"What the fuuuuuck???" I say to myself.
You can pretty much see where this story goes, but the grief I go through from here on out is pretty hefty... well for the first world at least. (I'm starting to feel like an asshole)
Anywho, I get all pissy cause Skyrim isn't running that great and I blame on my lack of RAM (even though 8GB is likely sufficient). So I spend nearly a whole day running various diagnostics on the memory and near the end of my day I try to do a fresh reinstall. This is where shit gets really fun.
So after the fresh reinstall I forgot that I needed ethernet drivers for windows. Since I didn't have a second computer I couldn't download them and my buddy drove into town with a USB stick and such. Then finally got down to updating cause I figured that maybe it had something to do with my service pack BUT no avail still.
I go to work and in my downtime I'm posting on Lenovo Forums and chatting on IRC in thinkpad channels. Nobody can give me a god damn answer that makes sense.
I go to my parents for supper and start taking apart the computer only to find that two of the RAM spots are filled with plastic fillers. It is at this point I realize I fucked up.
The thing is... I still don't fully believe I fucked up, I SWEAR that I had 16GB on this puppy from the get-go. | I'm crazy cause I think that I had 16GB in my laptop but clearly only have 8GB. |
t3_3owm1a | personalfinance | Solo 401K - Can I contribute more than the business made? | I work full time in a regular job, no 401K. Salary - $60K.
I have a small Etsy business on the side. I make about $300 in sales and end up with $3 in profit each year. I include everything on a Schedule C and have since I started it a few years ago. The business does not have a UBI or anything like that.
My main job might be getting bought out. If it does, I'll get about $35K in stock payout this year. And though this is awesome, I didn't plan for this in my taxes and if possible, I'd like to avoid paying 25% in taxes.
I have maxed out my IRA contributions for 2015, so that's not an option. As mentioned, my current job doesn't have a 401K. The new company does have one, but I wouldn't be able to set it up in 2015.
From the wonderful /r/personalfinance posts, I just learned about a Solo 401K. If I were to set that up for my business, I'm wondering if the contributions would be in any way limited by my business' income. Since I made $300, can I only contribute $300, things like that? Or could I contribute the full (employee) $18,000?
Thank you for your help! | Can I contribute more to a Solo 401K than I made in self employment income? |
t3_2xzov9 | relationships | My ex gf (18F) and I (20M) recently broke up and are still physically involved. | We had a great relatively short (~6 month) relationship that ended on good terms. The breakup was initiated by her but mutual in nature due to her unhappiness with her social and family life and my need for space and concentration on school. She was unhappy due to several uncontrollable factors outside of the relationship that she needs to sort out, which in turn proved to be a great stressor on me. We still love each other and love being around one another but both need a little space to sort out our own lives.
We continue to see each other fairly regularly and have had sex a few times in the 2 weeks we've been broken up. I have considered NC but I value my time with her and obviously enjoy the physical benefits (she's gorgeous) and I have made the decision to continue this friends with benefit arrangement for the time being. There is clearly feelings involved by both parties when we get physical and to the best of my knowledge the opportunity to date again in the future is still on the table should the right circumstances prevail. She has said she still loves me but "I need to love myself before I can love you".
I'm not going to bullshit you guys and say I'm not holding out hope for a reconciliation. I'm pretty happy with where we are (happier than if she was out of my life for good), although I've had sex with another girl after the breakup and didn't enjoy it. I just want to know if I'm making a huge mistake by continuing this physical relationship. | My ex and I had a good breakup and still hold feelings for one another. We're currently in a strictly physical relationship and I want to know if I'm making a mistake |
t3_2qhjv9 | travel | First trip, probably solo, looking for input | Copy and paste from the "excellent" post. I'm 24, live in Los Angeles, and looking to travel abroad for the first time. Will most likely be a solo trip. So far I'm looking at England/Ireland/Scotland, but open to other suggestions. If other, I'd prefer it to be a single country, not multiple. I've had Germany, Italy, and Sweden recommended for other locations.
My main goal is to understand the Aug-Sept vs. Dec-Jan decision. And, I'm also wondering if how much I can/should fit in, or if maybe Scotland would have to wait for another trip. And if there are any other location suggestions, I'm all ears.
**I have already traveled to:**- A few places in the US and a quick trip to Vancouver, Canada.
**Length and Time**: Either Aug 27- Sep 13 or Dec 26-Jan 10-17, including travel days.
**Budget** Not a huge deal, but I'm not trying to break the bank. Willing to stay in cheap motels, couch surf, etc. Never stayed in a hostel but willing to give it a try.
**Climate** I'm a little worried how cold it will be if the trip is Dec-Jan. Any issues here? Is that sufficient reason to go Aug-Sept?
**Interests** - I have no idea, since I haven't traveled before. I'm open to other locations, but assuming the England/etc trip: Guinness Brewery would be cool, a soccer/football game, some history, although I'm not a huge museum fan. Military history and aviation is pretty cool. I do enjoy a relaxing breakfast with coffee if that helps. Oh, and water! I can do short trips without water, but I do enjoy being by it and boats and the like. Also open to suggestions here!
**Safety** I'm not worried about this with the baseline trip. But if you have other ideas, something friendly to a big white American guy would probably be good. | is England/Ireland/Scotland reasonable for 2-3 weeks? Is it better in early Sept or early Jan? Any better destination ideas? |
t3_2ie9sn | relationships | Me [15 M] and [15 F] are best friends, but its a little complicated right now. | Both Sophomores in High School
We have been best friends since 7th grade
I really really like her, I think about her all the time, and I really want to be with her. Ive felt that way for about a year now.
I took her to homecoming last weekend, and we had an amazing time and I thought I was good to go.
I told her my feelings and she said "(my name) your my best friend of all time. If we break up over something stupid, well, I really dont want to hurt our friendship."
This broke my heart. According to her friend, she likes me but she doesnt want to date me because she cares to much about our friendship.
She acts like she likes me, as everytime I see her she comes and waves and we talk for a while. I catch her looking at me in class a lot.
Does she like me that way at all or is she covering herself up?
Im really heartbroken because I feel like im supposed to be with her. I have never felt this way about anyone else.
What do I do? I really dont want to give up. Everytime I see her I want to hug and kiss her. She is an amazing person. Im really stuck. | Fell in love with my best friend, she turned me down she because she doesnt want to ruin our friendship, I really want to date her and Im stuck. |
t3_2876nw | relationship_advice | I [28f] messed up and need advice with [24m] | im (28f) recently met a guy online (24m). we met randomly in a game we both play. hit it off with intensity. lots of chemistry and the sexual chemistry was off the charts. he, being younger then me, said a few times that i might need to teach him things about how to treat a girl because he'd never had a gf. (dont judge, he was actually not the stereotypical virgin).
fastforward a few weeks and things get weird cause we both start to have legit feelings but the age difference was a little off putting for me. he started saying things like we should just be friends because i dont wanna lose you as a friend and of course that made things really confusing for me. he started acting weird, talking shit about his girl bestie and i tried to tell him he cant do stuff like that. then we kinda just blew the fuck up.
he was pulling away, i was pushing. and we ended up fighting, i deleted him off my messenger list. then he deleted me off facebook. we messaged a few more times and he tried to get back in my good graces but stupid me kept picking fights. he eventually blocked me because he didnt wanna fight anymore. now i feel awful. i regret trying to micro manage him as a person. i regret not letting him back in.
is it too late for me? did i fuck it up completely? i really am not sure how to get in touch with him at this point. would it stupid for me to try? | met a guy younger, tried to teach him, ended up biting off my own foot and now i think i've lost him forever. can i somehow fix it? |
t3_1pid9o | relationships | Me [17M] with my the girl I've been dating [17F] for 3 months have never been to my place because I'm ashamed of it. | Yeah we're young
I've known her for 2 years now, we were in the same class and we both had a crush on each other, but nothing ever happened, we were just really good friends. Then we graduated, had prom and started seeing each other since. We're just like a couple, we just don't have the title. Anyways, we rarely see each other in private for one reason, my parent's house is a mess. It's in deep need of renovatioms, some corners are dirty, floors need to be done, bathroom has tiles missing, etc. My younger brothers have friends over and they're okay with it, my mom has a boyfriend who moved in with us and he's okay with it too, but I'm really ashamed and I worry of how this upper-middle class girl will react to such a mess. I do not appear poor, I take care of my appearance, so she has no idea of the disaster I live in. I now need to invite her over, but I'm scared. Am I being a baby? | House is a mess, scared of inviting girl over despite need of privacy |
t3_xswou | AskReddit | Do/Did you ever have a rather strange/irrational/pointless self-imposed goal? | A goal I've set myself on lately (and I'm having trouble with it) is not to look at cosplay any more. Just stop ogling girls in cosplay and looking for pictures online like some kind of pervert.
Allow me to explain myself: I'm a guy, and I enjoy the sight of pretty girls as much as any other guy. I'm a geek, so the newsites I frequent often had cosplay galleries of the latest con or whatever went down.
So I very soon started to look at these galleries just to see if there was any sexy-looking cosplay in it.
Then I started scouring the internet for sexy cosplays.
Then I started following cosplayers on Deviantart just because I thought they looked hot. Disregarding the actual quality and achievement of their work.
And then I thought that perhaps I was overdoing it a little. I don't mean to imply it's not natural to find some cosplayers sexy and therefore pleasant to look at, but I thought I was taking it way to far. I felt like I disrespecting the people who love cosplay, disrespecting the culture of cosplay itself. I will never blame any one for doing what I did, but I feel bad now, and it's not something I'm just telling myself; I genuinely feel ashamed for it, I felt like a dumb, delusioned, perverted youth. Mostly perhaps because I thought the action of cosplaying itself was hot, like bringing sexy fictional characters to life for me to eyeball, whereas that is (very very likely) not the point of it.
So then I suddenly thought: "If I can stop ogling cosplayers like this and get over myself, I'll have achieved something" (moral uptightness probably) | I used to enjoy ogling sexy cosplay like a perv. So now I imposed a wierd kind of abstinence on myself. |
t3_47reqh | dogs | [Help] My dog got into her food and ate...a lot. Should I be concerned? | After years of her food being in the same container, in the same spot, Rigby managed to pull the top container off, open the snaps that keep the lid on, and got her face all up in it. There was also a ziplock in the container that had ~5 days worth of food from traveling. We had filled the bin about two days ago to almost the top.
I have no clue how much she ate, but it was a lot. When I got home she didn't even get up. The ziplock and the measuring cup were on her bed beside her and the bin open in the kitchen with a LOT of food gone.
Now, girl has an appetite and can eat. I've learned this through the trial and error of finding a safe place to keep loaves of bread (she can eat a full loaf in one sitting). But I'm really speechless when it comes to this and what motivated her to do this. It had to have been at least 3 lbs of food.
We were just at the vet yesterday for her annual and got a clean bill of health outside of her ongoing skin issues that we treat.
Do I need to worry about anything more than just massive poops? Her belly is pretty bloated. I did manage to get her to stand up, but she's currently snoring on her bed again, where she'd normally be up and bouncing around.
[The previously full bin and the glutton in question]( | dog ate a LOT of food - should I be worried? |
t3_42oz3w | personalfinance | Student Loans, "Group" Repayment, and Credit Utilization | Hey guys. While not new to r/personalfinance, I'm new to actually starting the debt repayment principles and sticking with them. While in graduate school, my student loans are in deferment, and I'm paying down my higher-interest credit cards and car loan first. While trying to budget, raise my credit score, and plan for the future, I finally delved into the details of my student loans and was surprised. When I make a payment, I'm only given the option to simply pay by clicking a button, but as it turns out, my loans are split into 14 different loans, or "groups," each with different interest rates. From previous payments, it looks like what I've paid has just been divided among the different groups. My first question for anyone with Nelnet and/or anyone with the same loan distribution - is there any way to pay off the higher interest balances first?
My second question regards my outstanding debts. I currently have credit cards, a car loan, and the dreaded aforementioned student loans. When calculating my credit utilization in order to get my credit score up, should I include my car and/or student loans, or just the outstanding balance v. the limit on my credit cards? | Is there a way to repay my grouped student loans individually, and do they count against my credit utilization percentage? |
t3_1ipjb2 | relationships | My[19M] GF[18F] of 5 months wants to take a break to work on our 'friendship' | basically my girlfriend feels i've been too controlling and we've had too many arguments about her spending last weekend in an apartment alone with her best friend(male, straight).
She broke up with me via text while i was on a 2 week vacation in america saying it's so we can work on our friendship more to fix things as a couple. She says she still loves me heaps and prays that this will work, we've been talking calmly with no arguments since this happened on wednesday.
I landed home from vacation today but before i left everything between us was fine, we just argued a lot while i was away. I'm seeing her tonight for the first time and have a list of questions to ask her, anything you guys think i should ask and what do you think she's trying to do/prove with this break?
i have a shitload of information i've left out so dont feel hesitant to ask any questions! | got dumped overseas, being strung along so we can 'fix things as friends', seeing her tomorrow what important questions should i ask? |
t3_2eg83k | relationships | Won't say I love you | There is a guy I have been on and off with for 8 years now. We are both 22 and started dating in the 8th grade. We both have had other relationships with other people but somehow always find our way back to each other. He has had a rough run with the women in his life and does not feel he knows what love is. He doesn't communicate very well but has told me recently that "Nothing he ever does is good enough for me." He refuses to say I love you but he constantly tells me that he misses me, which for how often it is, I almost feel like that is his way of saying I love you. Do you think its okay that I start seeing him again, if he can't express how he feels about me in words. | On & Off Again Relationship; 22 F 22 M; Male won't say I love you. Is he still serious about us? . |
t3_i0w0e | AskReddit | Any vegetarians out there? | I know this lovely girl, and she has the most incredible sense of humor. She has impeccable wit, and an amazing taste in music. She's beautiful , and has been going through a lot. She's really been stressing lately, and has been losing weight. She simply doesn't eat. She's vegetarian, and in the last two days all she has eaten was veggie stix, and a spoon of rice. Now this girl is amazing, but she has a lot on her plate (metaphorically of course) and the school's vegetarian options are terrible. So I was wondering if anyone knew any healthy vegetarian/vegan/healthy snack foods I could pick up for her. I'm near a fresh-n-easy, and Trader Joe's isn't that far. I can give my city if that would be helpful. | Need snack options for this awesome vegetarian girl. She prefers to eat healthy. |
t3_ps8r1 | AskReddit | Any advice for broken family? | So, dad and I haven't been talking for years. Lives 2hour drive away. Lots of crap between us and its really getting my grandparents down that we don't talk or have any contact with each other. They are very much family orientated but my parents got divorced when I was three, my sisters each live on other continents. Not a close family at all. So I thought I would call my dad and see if I could sort some shit out. Instead got told to send an email and he will answer any questions I had(very awkward phone call and was so pissed after that I could have put my fist through a wall) Did that and all I got back was "if you don't know how I feel about you then I don't see the point of trying to prove to you that I love you". Pretty much gave up after that. Any advice? | Dad has degree in being a dick and want to sort out differences and grudges. |
t3_lpv7s | loseit | Why does everything feel so wrong at my goal weight? | In a bit over a year, I've lost 25lbs, going from 150 to 125. Not a big change to most of you, but necessary. I've altered my diet, I exercise, I drink water, I have more muscle tone than I ever have in my life, I'm healthy. It's supposed to be a good change, right? Then why do I feel like everything I say can be taken as an insult? Why am I paranoid ALL THE TIME? Why do I feel that my friends suddenly dislike me, are possibly avoiding me? That my boyfriend is less interested in me? That I'M less interested in me? I was far more confident at 140lbs than now, at my goal.
Once someone said (regarding a mutual friend who had lost weight), "I miss the fat/happy version of him, the skinny version's a dick." Is there truth in that? Or is it all relative somehow? And what the fuck? | Does anyone else feel like the chemicals in their brain haven't gotten used to their new weight, and are going haywire? |
t3_21ktg3 | relationships | I [19F] slept with my friend/former friends with benefits' [21M] best friend and it's pretty tense | I don't know how explain this. I don't feel guilty because I didn't have an obligation towards this person but I also don't want their friendship to be ruined or strained because of what happened.
We've hooked up a few times and he caught feelings. I was honest and said I had them too but I wasn't interested in dating anyone and that we were friends first. And I thought he was okay with that. Whatever I felt fizzled out and I started flirting with his best friend. His friend asked him if it would be okay if we had sex and he told us to do what we want. I'm not interested in playing games or trying to analyze his response so I did what I wanted.
Now he's pretty upset and won't really talk to either of us. He's more upset with his friend. How should I go about diffusing this situation? If I thought he'd care this much I wouldn't have done it. But we're all young and should do what we want and I don't want their friendship ruined over something physical. I just don't know what to say to make him get over it. | Slept with my former FWBs best friend, he's upset even though he told us to go for it, their friendship is rocky now, what do |
t3_12m107 | relationships | I (17m) have an amazing girlfriend (17f) but I think I worry too much over little problems. | My girlfriend is really cool about anything, she has the same appeal to music as me. She goes to concerts as often as me and we have the same sense of humor. She's really attractive and a lot of other guys think so too. We text all the time and sometimes I text back too fast and she takes ten or so minutes to reply. Everything has been going great and we really like each other.
But there's some things that bother me. I'm Hispanic and she's Indian, my parents like her and think she's really nice but her parent's don't knew about because their religion doesn't allow dating. She also has an older sister with a meth addict boyfriend and her parents see boyfriends as bad guys.
Also, she's really attractive and the other day she posted on Facebook that a band member that's going to a show soon messaged her on twitter and gave her his phone number and asked to hangout with her. I know that nothing is going to happen with them but I still worry. With that being said, I'm a little clingy. I want to text her all the time and worry about her being alone with other guys. Even though I know she's loyal. | my girlfriend is cool but her parents don't allow her to date and we are doing it behind their back. I'm a little jealous and clingy to a certain degree. Any advice on how to deal with my weird emotions? |
t3_2c082r | relationships | Me [22 F] with my Boyfriend [22 M] of six months cannot handle going out without being extremely jealous, would like outside input for solutions. | My boyfriend Dylan and I have been dating for six months now,
and with the exception of his jealousy, everything is great.
I adore his family, his friends, his pets, we're very compatible in terms of
amount of time/alone time we need to spend and our taste in shows/movies/
music is so similar it's like we're the same person.
Now for the bad. He is impossibly insecure. I really adore Dylan, but every. single.
time. we go out together we fight. It's insane, and it needs to stop. While I am
willing to not go to the bar at all, I think this would just be masking the issue not
fixing it. Whether another guy looks at me, or hits on me, or even (most recently)
I dance with a girl he thinks I might be attracted to, it ends in his insecurity getting
the best of him and us getting into an argument.
Has anyone successfully tackled their jealousy issues? Has anyone helped someone else
work through theirs? I would like to add, besides dancing with girls occasionally I do not
speak to guys I do not know at the bar, and I certainly do not encourage any advancements
they make. | My boyfriend is too jealous, especially at the bar. Need solutions. |
t3_36kv2i | tifu | TIFU by trusting a friend with my crush. | I had hoped that I would never have to post to this subreddit. I guess this is the first.
So, I'm in the difficult years of middle school (I'm about 13), and at this age, I start getting attracted to the opposite sex because puberty. Naturally, I fell into this cycle.
Everything was good so far. I snapped out of my little depressive state that I'd had carried for a while, and started trying to become friends with the aforementioned girl just to be friends, not to be partners (first steps). That is, until I begin talking to this friend of mine (let's call him Noah). I don't know how, but he manages to filter out the entire list of girls in the school to pinpoint that "significant other" that I'd been searching for. Because I don't quite know how to lie in this situation, I told him that his guess was correct.
This is where things go awry. After finding out my crush, Noah tells me that he's going to go out the next day and basically say to her face that I have a crush on her, which is pretty easy for him, because his locker is literally RIGHT NEXT TO HERS. Why this is bad is because I wanted to get to know her better before I pop the "will you go out with me" question instead of just doing it at this very instant.
I'm kind of a nervous wreck right now. People are telling me not to worry, but I don't quite know what the hell is going to happen right after this entire thing happens. I get that I might be overreacting, but I really don't know what to do here. | A friend interrogates me about my crush, I give him the identity of my crush because I am an idiot, he decides to tell my crush directly that I like her tomorrow. I'm nervous as hell about the aftermath. |
t3_4dyhz8 | legaladvice | [WI,USA] Is it common for a lawyer you're trying to hire to not get back to you via email or phone? | I am trying to hire what supposedly one of the best lawyers for adoption in Wisconsin. I emailed him once talking about how he came highly referred by another lawyer friend, he got back to me within 1 or so. But that was only inquiring about possible costs, so I think he didn't think I was serious about adopting my step daughter...
So I emailed him again about payment, grant possibilities or if he had some sort of payment plan. He never got back to me. A week or so went by and my wife talked to her parents and they graciously will pitch in some money and said get the ball rolling set up a consolation with this guy.
So I emailed him again, asking him to set up a consolation and to talk soon... never heard from him again after 3+ days. So knowing he was supposed to be "the best" and my wife and I really want to hire him I decided to call him directly (not his receptionist) and leave a voicemail... later that afternoon he still didn't get back to me so I decided to call the office where he works and **talk to his receptionist and she lets me know that he will be back in about twenty minutes so I told her to have him call me around 5:00pm.
He called me back right away, he didn't apologize for getting back to me late or not responding to any of the emails... he said there is a form we need to fill out before we meet and that he will email me dates that he has available to meet. OK so we look at the dates pick out a couple (Monday) emailed him (Tuesday) and it's Friday and he still hasn't gotten back to us yet... is this normal??? | Trying to hire an apparently credentialed lawyer except after the first email, he is very slow at getting back to me. Even after our phone conversation talking about how I would like to hire him he still isn't prompt with getting back to me. Is this normal? |
t3_2qj9uw | relationships | FINAL UPDATE: I [23F] just found out that my partner [26M] has a weird fetish, not sure how to proceed. | I thought it was time to post a final update to this story now that I have some spare time in between Christmas and new year. We are still together and doing great! so that is not the reason for this update. I wanted to do a short and final update to this story because my partners fetish has slowly become my fetish. Over the past two months I discovered that I started to like it more and more each time we did something fetish related. The slight awkwardness and/or weirdness has slowly worn off and I feel 100% comfortable with it now.
Without going to deep into NSFW territory: We like to combine our diaper fetish with some light bondage and wetting/omorashi (however you pronounce that), we both share a dislike for the adult baby related stuff and messing (yikes!) so at the moment our sex lives are perfectly aligned. It also seems that we trust each other a little bit better due to our shared secret, from the outside you would never expect what we like to do in the bedroom.
I also have shown him my previous posts. He was happy that quite a lot of people were not immediately picking up their torches and pitchforks after hearing about this situation, in the past he saw quite some hostile posts (accusations of pedophilia and just general hate) on other non fetish related forums where partners asked for help. | Relationschip matured, we ended up in diapers |
t3_17mspx | relationships | My [24F] SO [30M] is still hung up on his ex, who might be pregnant with his child. Should I stay or go? | After a couple years of bad relationships, Ive [24F] recently started dating a man [30M] about 2 months ago and I can't put into words how great he makes me feel. Even in the short amount of time we've been dating I have this gut feeling that this relationship could be something worth fighting for.
The only problem is his ex of 6 months[26F]. Even though he broke up with her over 3 months ago, he's still torn up about their relationship. She has contacted him 3 times since we've started dating and every time, he deliberately gets drunk and starts to grieve about how heartbroken he is over her. He tells me that he has no intentions of getting back with her and that he cares about me and isn't stringing me along. And in all honesty, I believe him. He hasn't given me any reason to doubt him. Besides, who hasn't been heartbroken before?
Just the other day he found out from his ex's friend that his ex might be pregnant with his baby. He called me late last night, upset and drunk, and told me how messed up he his and that he misses his ex. He said he wants me 'save him' but 'if you wanted to jump ship, I wouldn't blame you'.
I'm torn because even though I think that our relationship could be something great and wonderful, the ghost of his ex still affects him and could possibly hinder any actual potential our relationship could have.
So my question is if I should stick to my guns and stay with him, or leave and try to brave the dating world again? | A guy I've been dating for 2 months isn't really over his ex and she might be pregnant with his baby. Idk if I should stay with him or leave. |
t3_ck2k4 | AskReddit | I am traveling to Vegas at the end of the year and have some questions. | Hey, I am going to Las Vegas with a few mates and my girlfriend at the end of the year. I am interested in how much spending money you think would be a good idea per day (for gambling/drinking every night and obviously buying food, etc), and how much time you think we would need to have a decent, non-rushed stay and see everything (I was thinking about a week).
Additionally, anyone have any hotel suggestions, or general tips? Oh yeah, and in Vegas, is it socially acceptable to just tip say 15% for drinks and food? Being Australian, I am not all too familiar with tipping... | Going to Vegas, want info on spending money, hotels, stay time, and tipping amounts. |
t3_uzpjx | AskReddit | What silly moments do you and your SO share? | When I'm at my SO's place, we always play fight over who owns the bed. The more ridiculous the argument, the better, e.g. "Today is Tuesday, and on Tuesdays I own the bed, you know that!" There's a lot of shoving, asses thrown about, blankets held hostage, pillow smacking etc.
Also, when I'm the first one in, I'll always ask her from the bedroom, while she's still doing stuff in the house something along the lines: "Hon, ...(long, serious pause)... where are you going to sleep tonight? :D", the hidden message being of course that she could not possibly be thinking of sleeping in MY bed tonight! She'll respond with: "Well, MY bed of course!!", and me: "Where's that then?" | We play fight over who owns the bed. |
t3_2oziu1 | relationship_advice | Dating multiple people at the same time. | I met a girl, lets call her Denise on Tinder about 2 weeks ago. We messaged back and forth for a week and went out last weekend. I wound up staying the night and we slept together. I really like her and spending time with her but can't see her being my girlfriend for whatever stupid George Costanza like reason that may be. We still text everyday and I saw her again last night.
Another girl messaged me last night from Tinder that I had interest in and we set up a date for this weekend.
Now, I am not a ladies man and just started to put effort into dating. I am not used to having one girl interested in me let alone two possibilities. I feel bad doing this to Denise because I am sure she would be upset if she knew. I have no intentions on telling her and I know technically I am not doing anything wrong but for whatever reason I still feel like I am. | Seeing a girl for a few weeks, and have slept together. I want to go on a date with a different girl but feel weird about it. |
t3_1bwjg7 | GetMotivated | A Get Motivated story, and a gift to the community | A year ago, I was a miserable Finance major, and I hated what I was doing. I really dreaded getting a full time job in Finance, and didn't get along with other people in my major. I did around 25 interviews, and didn't get offered a second interview once. I had always liked computers, but never really considered it a career. But after reading about the job market and the type of work you can do in software development, I started learning programming on the side and considered switching majors.
The guys over at /r/learnprogramming were very helpful, and this subreddit was a good source of motivation. Now, I'm finally getting decent with Java and C, I've made a few simple websites, and I'm in the process of developing an app for Android. I changed my major officially to Computer Science BS last semester, and I have an internship this coming summer as a Software Engineer at a Fortune 500 company.
And finally, with the exception of class projects and small practice exercises I've done, I'm happy to say that I've shipped my first piece of software. It's a Chrome extension called Simple Blocker:
As the name suggests, it is a simple website blocker that lets you block any number of sites to help you concentrate. You can turn on "Enhanced Blocking" mode if you like, which will make the app harder to remove, and password protect it. It also has a sleep timer, so you can force yourself to study for an hour or so, then reward yourself with a break. And of course, it's free.
I thought that it would be well received in this subreddit, since a lot of people have academic or professional goals which require hours of work grinding away on a computer. Hopefully, this app can help some people concentrate and achieve their goals :) | Was a miserable Finance major a year ago, now I am doing what I love with computers, and have a great internship lined up this summer as a Software Dev. [I also made an app for you guys]( |
t3_1dh2hu | dating_advice | I [17 M] think I may be paranoid about my girlfriend [19 F] | Okay, so I've been dating a pretty swell girl since February. We've been friends almost a close year now, and I'm definitely her best guy friend. She friend-zoned me at first, but we worked through it and currently in a decent relationship...I think.
This is my first relationship, so I'm a bit paranoid I'm going to screw up. I'm not exactly the cool guy, more of awkward if anything, and slightly overweight (though, I lost almost 50 pounds in the time we were friends, and am still working out). So, I'm not perfect. Yet, she still says I'm good enough. What has me paranoid is a few other factors though.. I'm not her first boyfriend, and from what she tells me every other guy she has dated she's been head over heels for. She's mentioned it on plenty of occasions, but rarely tells me if I've made her felt that way. She's told me maybe on one or two occasions, but not often, and she's also stated that she likes dating me because she can be more open with me and not feel like she has to impress me.
She's also said she wants to take the relationship as slow as possible not to ruin it, and she's keeping it from her parents (because she still lives with them and they don't want her dating at the moment), not to mention she's in college and has a job, so I rarely get to see her, and when on the occasion I do it's pretty rad but I wish it would happen more often. She feels very closed off lately too, which she claims is from finales stress, but I sometimes feel like it's because she doesn't want to open up to me like that. I mean, I'm a helpless romantic and from what she's told me she is too, but she doesn't seem to want to go in that direction whenever I try.. And I've tried everything from making her art, singing to her, visiting her at work with flowers, and she'll get a little flustered and appreciate the gesture but..Sometimes I feel like I wish there was something more here..I dunno...maybe I'm just paranoid and want to hang out more... | I'm in my first relationship and paranoid about the way my girlfriend acts around me and I'm scared of screwing up. |
t3_28djcu | relationships | I (f19) am currently seeing an older guy (m25) is that too much of an age difference? | About two weeks ago I met him at a friends house for a bonfire (won't say too much detail because maybe someone from there might recognize this thread) I immediately took a liking to him and I guess he did as well, because a few days after that night he sent me a message through fb. We've been talking ever since and have met up 3 times.
On our first date towards the end, he asked me when I was turning 20 to which I said 'month' and he said oh so you already are 20? I barely turned 19 this year and I asked him if he thought it was a little weird, and he said just a bit but it doesn't change his feelings. Awesome, right?
Yesterday we hung out and as he dropped me off at my house me parents and siblings were sitting outside relaxing and I think that scenery might've triggered our age difference because he hasn't talked to me since, and I know he's checked his phone. He sent me a text a bit after dropping me off asking if my family was cool. I sent him a text this morning at 6 saying, "I feel like there's something wrong, tell me how you're feeling." But I almost regret sending him that, knowing too that he's currently active on fb. I think he's trying to clear his head maybe, but I myself am confused. I don't want to like him anymore than I already am.
I'll keep you updated, but I would love advice, or anything. | I think maybe the guy I am currently seeing might end things with me because of our 6 year age difference. He hasn't talked to me since last night, we have a lot in common and I don't plan on moving on to someone else any time soon. |
t3_1khgny | AskReddit | Social workers of reddit, is there anything my family can do for a young boy who is suffering from abuse? | Under several occasions my younger sister has come home crying due to a young boy(13M) she is friends with being 'homeless'. From what I have gathered, his mother lives in a trailer with her boyfriend, his father is legally blind and is in some type of care center, and both of his grandparent have taken him in at some point only to push him back out saying that it isn't their problem.
Right now, we have taken him in twice for about a week. Both times he has been pushed out of the house by one of his family members. He is being thrown around like a rag doll. The heartbreaking part is that they have already taken it to court and the police are saying 'they are sorting it out' but then when never hear from the. Right now, he is sleeping on the couches at friends houses of whoever will take him in for a few days.
This young man is a very smart, straight A student, (we spoke to the teachers at his school who confirmed), very polite, quite, and just a humble child. He doesn't deserve this. My parents are at a stand still though, they do not know what can be done or who they can talk to. Whenever I go to my parents house, we try to brainstorm, but we have been SOL. Do you have any suggestions? Is there anything we can do for this young man? | there is a young boy that cannot find a home because none of his family will take him in. The police have been of no help, it has preachy been taken to court. Do you have any suggestions? |
Subsets and Splits
No saved queries yet
Save your SQL queries to embed, download, and access them later. Queries will appear here once saved.