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t3_dvhrm | AskReddit | Reddit, what is your worst decomposing-food-that-should-have-been-thrown-out-ages-ago-but-wasn't story? | I've got several. Freshman year, I my mom bought me a bunch of grapes at the beginning of the first semester that I left sitting in a metal bowl. I don't remember when I noticed, but several months later, I remember that there were grapes still sitting in a bowl. I picked up the grapes, and out came a huge barrage of flies that swarmed the room. I threw the grapes in the common room trash can, and nobody ever questioned me why flies were suddenly everywhere.
Another one: I cooked rice once in a microwave rice cooker, and subsequently forgot about it. As I was packing for the summer, I picked up my rice cooker, and it was heavy. Oh crap. I opened it up, and I cannot describe the stench that rose from that freaking thing. And the colors.. it was psychedelic. At least four different colors, if not more, of orange, puce, slab green, black. I dumped the rice in the sink, and noticed that my roommate had rubbing alcohol. Somehow I thought that the alcohol would help with the smell, so I dumped the lot of it in the rice cooker. Worst idea ever. I closed the lid to the rice cooker and threw it in the dumpster. | I have crazy decomposing food stories. How about you? |
t3_2gfw9m | dogs | Picked up a stray, already have a dog | Hey everyone, just wondering for those who have had to integrate a new dog with their original dog how long it takes for the jealousy to stop, and any tips you have in helping them get along better.
The new dog seems to be a corgi-golden retriever mix (nerd me calls it a golgi), she was recently abandoned and possibly gave birth at some point. She is by far the uh... "sweeter" dog, and by that I mean in comparison to my JRT she's as smart as a bag of rocks.
My JRT is spending 80% of the time thinking about the new dog and what it means that she's in the house; there's been no battle for alpha dog (I am master of the house), BUT, they did initially have a bit of jealousy (growling) and still have some (no growling, but trying to intervene) over who my wife is giving attention to (even when it's both at the same time). If she is not home, the dogs behave fine and just curl up at my sides. But my JRT does look depressed/moody when we're at home and the Golgi is around.
Currently (it's been 2 days) at night, I kennel the Golgi (and actually she seems to really like the kennel so I may continue doing this). I put away all the toys and bones so there's nothing to compete over. They have not yet been left alone together (but we're not worried about them fighting, they both are very gentle). | I had 1 dog, a JRT, well-behaved, now I have 2, the other a corgi-golden mix; how long for the jealousy to subside? |
t3_2fu9sb | tifu | TIFU by having baked beans before getting on an air plane | I was travelling back to the UK from my holiday in Tenerife. Just before I got on the plane, I had an English breakfast with a sizeable portion of beans, I ate the whole thing. On the plane I felt like I had to go to poo, I tried but falsy predicted it for passing gas. For the remainder of the four hour journey, I kept on going back to toilet to let it rip. At times, I let it rip a few times whilst on seat. For a few seconds it smelled like freshly heated baked beans. I will never had beans before getting on an air plane. | had an English breakfast with a sizeable baked beans portion, farted beans throughout a four hour journey. |
t3_45nu2y | relationships | Me [16 M] with my Girlfriend [17 f] , are running into some problems | I have been dating this girl for a few months now and we both have strong feelings for each other. The only thing is we rarely get to see each other because she has a busy schedule and we go to different schools.
Yesterday we went out to have fun and play some mini golf and it was all great at first, but soon she just got reclusive and stopped talking. When she did talk she said she felt like it was ending. Something happened and neither of us know what it was. I don't want our relationship to end like this, I want to just go back to how it was when whatever this is wasn't a problem.
I don't know what to do, or if this is the place to ask, but I'm really lost. | Relationship is failing for currently unknown reasons, trying to figure out what to do. |
t3_11c535 | AskReddit | How do I tell me Father that I don't want to live with him anymore? | I'm a 21 year old female in my third year of university and came home to Queenstown for a month or so to sort out my depression etc.
I'm ready to go back for the Summer holidays now to find a job (I live in the Southern Hemisphere) and he says I can't leave until February and that I have to work here. I'm not really a defiant person, and if I try to argue with him I always feel like I'm going to cry.
How do I get him to realise I don't want to stay here over the Summer? Sorry, it's a bit pathetic, but he won't listen to me and I feel anxious. | Father won't let me go back to another town to work because he doesn't want to see me depressed, but I don't feel right living with my family. What do I say? Sorry for lame question, I'm just a bit stressed. |
t3_1kp72p | pettyrevenge | Want to tell lies about my brother and mom? Go ahead, I'll just break more of your precious plates. | My grandma went to Mexico for a little while, and then she started telling lies about my brother and mom.
She had said my mom was irresponsible and she was a drunk, which she didn't. If she did a have a drink, she would only have one little can of beer since she had me, my sisters, and my brother. To top it off, my grandma ALSO said my brother had down-syndrome just because he had to stay at the hospital for a bit, because he was born a month early. And he didn't have down-syndrome so it was a total lie. Mostly, you could tell by their face if they have a disorder or something, but my brother had the look I had when I was a baby.
My grandma came home and she brought some expensive plates from Mexico and said she loved those plates and that they were precious than humans (crazzyyy!). A day after my grandma comes, my cousin and I were there because we had to unpack her things for her. Now, my cousin doesn't like my grandma because they never had that kind of bond. Besides, my grandma is a bit self-conceited.
"Do you dare me to break one of these plates?" My cousin asked me with the plate in her hand, the plate five feet away from the floor.
"Dare ya, shes not home anyways. Besides, she told everyone here and Mexico a lie about Eli (brother) and my mom," I said. She dropped the plate while smiling. The glass went everywhere.
We continued to unpack and then we ran outta there before my grandma returned. The next day, we were accused for something we did do.
"Did you guys break my precious, precious plate?! Why did you guys do this?!" she yelled at us, grabbing all the attention from everybody.
"WE DIDN'T DO IT!" We both said it at the same time, with a blank face.
"Oh okay!" she said.
We both smiled and then watched TV. More lies she tells, more plates break. Besides, she has about 100 plates. | Grandma tells lie to everyone about mom and my brother, so my cousin and I break one of her precious plates. |
t3_49yafw | relationships | I [26M] can't break up with my girlfriend [24F] | I tried writing out a long version of this three times now and I keep getting caught up in unimportant details so I'll keep it super brief.
My girlfriend of three years is an amazing human, I love her a lot, she loves me even more. With the way she looks at me I can tell I'm her entire world.
The thing is I've been wanting to break up with her for quite a while now... But I can't bring myself to do it because:
A) Even though I think I need to break it off to pursue what I truly want out of my life, I can't stand the idea of hurting her. I really do care for her and just thinking about breaking up hurts my heart.
B) Every time I've tried to work up the nerve to do it I feel like it's not the right time. Like "Oh her birthday is coming up soon" stuff like that... This has been going on for a year and a half.
C) I really don't know what she'll do without me... She doesn't have a lot of friends. As in the only people she really hangs out with are me and my friends. | Want to break up with girlfriend, but don't want to hurt her because despite not wanting to be in a relationship anymore I really do still love her. |
t3_v68gq | AskReddit | Teacher grabbed and pulled me. Need advice. | On Friday after a verbal altercation in class with my mass teacher (a teacher refused to answer my question, i said to my friend that i will just go to another teacher and get help, he over heard, yelled at me, i put on headphones and ignored everyone)
As i was walking out the (female) head of math grabbed me, i said let go and she didn't so i move my arm in order to brake her hold, after that she grabbed me again and started pulling me towards he, i removed her hand and again and said "f**k off, don't f**king touch me" and left.
where do i stand now? should i charge her with assault? can i be done for assault for removing her hand? what punishment can school give me/her? if it helps i am in New Zealand.
Thanks. | argument with teacher, another teacher grabbed me after class twice, i remove hand. who is in the wrong? |
t3_1ogz43 | legaladvice | Was involved in a minor accident years ago, now getting sued and need some help.(RI) | 2 years ago I got into a minor accident at an intersection. It was a 4 way stop. Not much damage was done to either car, and I was able to drive all the way back home to the state I live in. No one was found at fault either. 2 years later I get a notice that I am being sued by the person I hit, and the court date was little more than a week away (the sheriff supposedly came to the house 3 times 2 months ago to tell us but no one was home, which is odd because someone is ALWAYS here 24/7)
We got a lawyer through our old insurance and they told us to not worry, and that we probably wouldn't even have to travel to Rhode Island for the court date because they would deal with it. Now the date has come up and is 1 day away but supposedly he hasn't even contacted them in Rhode Island yet, as of this past Friday. Should we still show up, even though he claims he is going to have it taken care of by then? Is there a way to have this done over the phone or something instead of in person? It's going to be hard to miss work and pay for a bus ticket on short notice, we are not in a good position for that. | getting sued over a minor accident from a few years ago, found out on short notice, had a lawyer say they were going to take care of it so we don't have to go to the hearing but they haven't seemed to done anything about it within a few business days of the hearing. |
t3_rckt7 | AskReddit | Is it normal for a high level coroporte boss to add me to a social network with a fake name 30 min after I complain at their big chain hotel? | Weird night for me for sure. 'Me and the girlfriend drove to San Francisco this weekend and ended up staying at a big chain hotel on union square. We complain that our neighbors are being way too loud at midnight (having a party in room) and i get a request for windows live (don't use it but its my only public shared social networking account) from a jenny gibson. In the subject is the email the request was sent from and the names don't match. I google both names and find out that the name associated with the email belongs to a high level person who works for Columbia sussex which is the corporation which owns the hotel i am staying at. I search for 2 seconds more and find her facebook and now know everything about her from where she graduated highschool to her dogs name. Anyone working in hotel hostpitality know if this is normal and what she is trying to accomplish by doing this? Thanks. | Complain at hotel. Get friend request from high level person at corp who owns hotel using fake name but real name in email. Search on google for 20 min and find out everthing about person. |
t3_13ltrj | relationships | I [20M] cheated on my girlfriend [23F] and told her, now she will only text me like nothing happened instead of talk to me about it... what might be going on? | A little backstory, I regrettably cheated on my gf of 4 months (just made out, was drunk) a little while ago. I was up front and told her immediately, I feel really bad about it and did not intend to hurt her. I really like her and would like to repair things but I'm not sure how things are going.
After I told her she said she would talk to me after she had some time to think about things. She ignored me for a few days which is understandable--I know she needs space to re-evaluate after this. She started texting me last night however, but just about random crap. It was like nothing ever happened, we were just chit-chatting about our day. She never brought up the incident, never brought up us talking, she even texted me good night like always.
Today she texted me again (which in and of itself is strange because before all this I was always the one to initiate communication), and again we just talked about random stuff. I asked if she wanted to talk soon and she completely ignored that text, but an hour later when I texted her something else completely random she responded and the conversation continued. I brought up us talking again and the exact same thing happened.
I don't, it's just weird that she's able to be so nonchalant about texting like its a normal conversation and like nothing ever happened, but she never responds about us actually talking. I really really would like to talk to her asap so we can sort things out so my head can start to clear up again, but she doesn't seem to want to.
I realize I broke her trust, so is this her way of slowly re-establishing communication and rebuilding things? When we do finally talk in person do you think it would be likely that we would break up after she is doing this? After all, if she is planning on breaking up why wouldn't she just want to talk and get it over with?
Thanks | Cheated on girlfriend, she finally started talking to me again but just texting and about normal stuff like nothing happened and won't bring up us actually talking. What might be going on? From this does it sound likely that she will break up with me? |
t3_2nb4tr | relationships | Me and my group of friends [all 18 M] want to tell a creepy kid off [16M]. Advice on the situation is always nice, too. | So this year I'm a senior in Highschool. Hooray, right? Wrong. A very strange Junior has taken it upon himself to try and join my group of friends. Normally, this is fine as we like like new people. This kid is not normal, though. He has:
Asked us all for money because his parents are unemployed.
Harasses the rich kid in the group for rich kid's parents to give strange kids' parents a job. When I was at rich kid's house, strange kid showed up unannounced with his mom and dad for an "interview". Rich Kid's mom got them to leave under threat of calling the cops.
Somehow finds out about our events and shows up uninvited.
Thinks "Who is your favorite serial killer" is acceptable conversation topic.
Details on how he harassed/abused this girl into sending him nudes. As a victim of abuse in the past by church officials (I'm a guy and almost never get upset), I almost cried. My friends know this and told him to shut the hell up before they made him. We're currently debating going to the cops on this one. I want to, they don't.
Talks about how he gets high/drunk all the time. He calls us uncool when we tell him he shouldn't be doing that.
Tries to guilt us into doing things for him.
This isn't all he does, will add more if wanted | Creepy kid is harassing me and my group of friends. |
t3_3524x9 | relationships | do some guys hate texting? | date 1 went well, we got coffee and talked for about an hour straight and lingered before parting ways after a short walk. he (M30) offered to let me (F22) borrow a book. texted him later that night saying i had a good time and taking him up on the offer to borrow the book. then a few days later reached out to see if he wanted to get together again - no response. texted him the next week to flintily ask his cupcake preferences (this is relevant, i swear, since he attends our monthly cupcake parties) and i got a very fast response back and he also told me he'd bring the book. is he still interested? could there be a second date? | if he doesn't text me a lot, is he still interested in dating me? |
t3_2uqgw4 | relationship_advice | [22/m] I may have found the perfect girl for me[20/f]! Only problem is, I already have a girlfriend [20/f]. | I don't know what to do! I've been with my girlfriend off and on for the past 3 years. It's ben a long distance relationship for the past year and a half when i left for school which has been really hard for both of us. we broke up for about a week in september but we patch things up and have been doing really well since then. The other day, I met this girl who just really, really gets me in a way i don't think my current gf ever will. We've been texting pretty much nonstop and flirting a fair amount (she doesn't know i have a gf) and she seems pretty into me. We haven't "done anything" yet and i don't want to be a cheater so its seems that if I want to see where this thing can go, I'll have to break up with my gf. I still care a lot about my gf, though, and i really don't want to hurt her. I've never dumped anyone before, i've always been the dumpee so i'm kind of in uncharted waters right now. How can i break things off? should i do it in person, or over the phone? Am I making a huge mistake? Help! | been with a girl for 3 years, met a new girl who seems to be a better fit. inexperienced in the ways of dumping, need help. |
t3_2thznd | relationships | How do I [25, f] go about keeping a relationship [27, m] on the DL in the workplace? | So... Long story short I began seeing a guy from work about a month or so ago... We work in education and I'm slightly more senior than he is... Either way we want to keep the whole thing quiet just to avoid drama.
We did a fantastic job of this last weekend by both getting paralytic at a work do and being caught all over each other... Smh
So after denying it vehemently and blah blah blah it died down... But obviously we're going to go to to these kind of things again and genuinely in trying to to figure out a way of being able to cope with not being able to be affectionate with him when I'm with him.
It's something that I'm struggling with because we're usually so conscious of it at work that we don't even really speak to each other in the work place to avoid suspicion, because we done fucked up and people are suspecting things.
I find this so hard because we already share quite a lot and it's quite an intense relationship when we can actually be together, so the contrast can be a little hard for me to cope with...
I don't want to deal with all the chat about it... So I need to be able to cope with being a bit distant around him in front of colleagues, is there anyone who's going through this who can suggest how to stop acting like a dickhead?
Obviously not getting paralytic again is the first thing on my list! | Anyone with advice on how to cope with keeping a relationship secret at the workplace and avoiding letting it spill out into a drunken mess of situation would be appreciated! |
t3_2cjqod | tifu | Tifu by not checking the mail | So this happened a while ago but I am now feeling the repercussions of my actions.
So basically I'm a 17 yr old male, who has been looking forward to the day of getting his first car since the day I walked into the dmv and earned my license with my finesse driving. I was told by my parents that if my GPA was high enough I would get to choose my car. (My family rewards excellent grades with excellent rewards) Going into my junior year, my GPA was 4.21, I naturally thought that my trend of good grades would continue. Unfortunately I was wrong. I failed my advanced physics course and barely passed pre cal. My junior year GPA plummeted to a 2.93, making my cumulative a 3.53. I spent the entire year hiding my grades from my parents, especially these past few weeks. When the final report card gets mailed home. I checked the mail for weeks, but i never saw it. Then yesterday at dinner my dad slid a brown envelope across the table. He told me it was sitting in the home office for over four weeks!!!! And couldn't help bit open it. | Didn't check the mail for my report card hard enough, now no one will see my finesse driving in a whip. |
t3_3ezc3u | tifu | TIFU by making a lady think she was fat | This happened today while at work. I was on a jam packed elevator on my way to a meeting. We are going down and the elevator stops and the door opens. There is a short, not fat woman in her 40's wanting to get on the elevator. Everyone squeezes together to make room. The second she gets both feet on the elevator the alarm starts going off. Everyone thinks it's because we are over the weight limit. The doors are starting to close. The woman, with her head down, bolts out the door and doesn't look back. Seconds later security comes over the speaker asking if everything is ok. We then realize my ass was pushing against the alarm button. | Full elevator, woman got on, my ass hit the alarm, she thought she put us over the weight limit and bolted off the elevator. |
t3_32jhow | tifu | TIFU by trusting people too much. | I frequent csgolounge as I like to bet and enjoy competitive csgo. Well, I was looking to do a bit of trading so I posted my skin and said I was looking for real money (first mistake). Anyways, so this person messages me saying to add them on steam, so I go to add them and it won't let me. I thought that was strange so I looked up why that could be and it said most likely the person has blocked you (red flag). I've seen a post about a scam before and they usually block off all communication with you after it's done. Being the stupidhead that I am I decide to go ahead and add their smurf (second) account and initiate the trade with that account. As I started the trade with the alternate account a message from steam popped up saying "this user has been reported for scamming from multiple steam users" or something like that. Now this was enough to make me only question the validity of the trade with the person. So I messaged them saying "how can I trust you?" They responded saying "idk record me or something". In my knucklehead I thought, "well if they're that nonchalant about being recorded they must be legit". Idk the smoothness of the answer just put me at ease. So I continued with the trade. The deal being once they receive the skin they will send me the steam code for the money. Well that in itself is just a stupid idea no matter how trustworthy someone is. So next I sent the skin, did the email confirmation and asked for the "code pls". They responded "ok" and blocked all communication with me immediately and I never received anything. Rip me | I'm an idiot and got scammed on steam of a sexy electric hive AWP ($12) |
t3_okzzu | dating_advice | No Sex during first couple weeks of dating? (22 F) | I have posted here before about starting a new relationship with a friend I have had for years. We have currrently decided that we are officially dating. Everything is going great, we spend a lot of time together and really get along.
One problem: We haven't really had sex. We mess around a lot - second and recently third base. We tried to have sex the first weekend we made it official and he couldn't stay hard. I have never had this issue before and asked him if there was something I could do - he replied that he didn't know what was wrong.
We continued to mess around but haven't attempted to have sex again. I know I may be overanalyzing this but we both have had sex before. It's not as if he's a virgin. I am just worried that once you fall into a pattern of just one sexual act all the time that we will be stuck there.
Is something wrong and I am missing it? Or is this normal? | Dating roughly three weeks - tried sex once - couldn't stay hard. Haven't tried again. |
t3_3pdhem | relationships | Me [27/M] Confused Why She [30/F] Went MIA After Sexless Hookup | This weekend, I went on a date with a girl I met on tinder. Although I generally thought the date went fine, there weren't obvious sparks.
I wasn't planning on following up, but she messaged me the next day saying how much fun she'd had, and how she wanted to do it again. I invited her out that night, thinking there was no harm in seeing if maybe chemistry would develop. Our conversation was smoother; I walked her home, she invited me up, we talked on her porch, and started making out. She invited me to her room.
She was more enthusiastic than anyone I've ever hooked-up with, but stopped me at some point and said she didn't want to go any farther. She seemed to feel really bad about "luring" me up to her room, but I assured her it was fine.
We cuddled and talked for awhile, then I went home. On the way, I texted her that I hoped to see her again.
A few days later, and still no response from her. I'm still not that invested in this, but am interested enough to make it this far. However, I don't feel like going out of the way to see what's going on if she isn't willing to just respond to a text. | Tinder date goes MIA after feeling guilty about not having second-date sex. Should I make another effort to reach out? |
t3_4zjrw0 | relationships | How can I [19F] Breakup with BF [19M] | Hey Reddit,
I've (19F) been dating this guy (19M) for 2 months and I feel it's time to let it go due to he and I just being generally incompatible However, because this is my first relationship, I have no idea how to go about it.
I know it's manners to break up in person but since both of us are so busy, it's really difficult for us to see each other and I'd feel really bad if I ask to meet up and he finally finds a time in his busy sched to meet with me just for me to tell him this. (In fact he's going travelling with friends soon so next time we meet will probably be like in 2 weeks and I'm kinda here just feeling like I must get this out.)
Another issue is that I feel like my bf has been very oblivious to my changing feelings. In the past couple of dates we had, I've tried to be distant but uninterested in hopes to prepare him or signify that something is wrong but it doesn't look like he notices and he chalks it up to me being tired (which is totally cool with him). I also haven't texted him in a week but he doesn't text me either so I don't think that bothers him in the least.
I thought maybe that was a sign he was also losing interest but when we do meet he's super happy and smiley and very very touchy.
When I ask him what he thinks about our relationship so far, he just happily goes, "I think it's great!" so I get the feeling if I just suddenly tell him like that, with him thinking nothing at all has been wrong, I might drop a bomb on him and hurt him more deeply.
Honestly his tolerance is off the scales that I might as well be dating a Saint but bc I think of him like that I hiccup at the thought of hurting him with break up | bf has tolerance like Saint but bc of that, I feel tremendously guilty when trying to break up with him |
t3_3rehmw | relationships | Me [25 M] with my SO [26F] taken a break but staying monogamous... | I have been dating this girl for roughly 3 years and lately we've kind of spiraled downward in our relationship. Plain and simple we've started arguing a lot about little things and essentially playing tit for tat with each other.... All this came to a fault this past weekend, I said I don't think this is working out and she suggested she leave. So she did, it's been a stressful event, were still taking but she wants to take a break for a few days and said she wants to stay monogamous, that she's not moving on, just needs a break.
I'm kinda feeling a bit insecure about the whole thing. I find it hard to trust the situation for what's been stated. Looking for some input on this, has anyone ever had something like this work out? I think let's take a break as relationship over but the way it came about wasn't in standard break up form... so what should I do? | Relationship been rocky, SO left and says she just wants a break but to stay monogamous. What should I do? Trust the situation or no? |
t3_tqm0p | AskReddit | What would be a good laptop for me? | I have been saving up for awhile, and want to get a good, new laptop. My old one lasted far longer than was even thought possible (it was a hp) but I need a new one. I also quite enjoy gaming, so that is a definite I will need, plus I plan on running Linux, so there's that. I plan on keeping this one portable as well, I'd buy a desktop if i wanted to sit on my couch all the time. If it was easy to take apart and put back together, that would be nice as well. I won't pretend to be extremely tech saavy, but I know a few things, including how to fix most errors on computers. | I want something fast, not stupidly pricey, and with good battery life. Basically everything anyone would like in a laptop. |
t3_nrxpk | AskReddit | Reddit, I'm looking for a collection of good, classic music to play while my elementary students wait for school to start. Any recommendations? | I'm currently still in college, but I start student teaching next semester and this idea came to me recently. I specifically remember my 5th grade teacher frequently playing The Beatles while we weren't doing anything in particular before the school day started. I wasn't very interested in music at the time, but it gave me an appreciation for The Beatles that I carried until I acquired a taste in music. This ended up being pretty instrumental into getting me in the school band. I want to try to potentially influence an interest in music for these kids and this is a way that worked for me.
So Reddit, what kind of songs would you recommend? I'm not looking for Kids Bop, I really would like legitimate, good music. Obviously these need to have very clean lyrics that are appropriate for 4th or 5th graders. Don't worry too much about scouring the lyrics of songs before you post them, I will (very thoroughly) review them myself. | Clean, awesome music or bands I can play for my upper elementary school students. |
t3_539hmc | relationships | Help Me [24m] with my ex-girlfriend [22F] together for a yeaf and a half with the fallout | Hello, /r/relationships!
My ex and I live in a small town and were very happy for a year and some change. Recently, she started to pick up more and more responsibilities and her time became less and less available while my job and personal life stabilized and I opened myself up to her. This caused some strife and suddenly we were having a talk after work one day. She told me she had thought about it a couple times already and decided that she thought it best if we break up. When I asked what her reasons were she said, "Im not sure what I want out of life, Im stressed and very busy. I dont think it's fair to us."
This is all fine and well, we're both very upset for a couple weeks and we have some correspondence over the next couple weeks. This is where I begin to get upset.
We met up and had a further conversation over the matter and when I brought our past up, she seemed to be of the understanding that nothing would change. She seemed uninterested in even considering the idea we would ever be together again. I assumed that she was too busy now, but that when her life was settled again it may be possible. She did not view it that way.
Our relationship is our business, so besides seeing her almost daily in our small town, I was alright- things happen, people change. However, she began telling people about our breakup and suddenly people in the community have their own ideas and version of what happened. Some people have a very negative viewpoint of me currently. Even worse, since the rumors began spreading I have noticed that almost no one has any interest in spending time with me. I wont lie, she is well liked and has many friends-- a lot which I introduced her to. They were my friends first and foremost and now I have no friends. What do I do? I know its not fair to ask my friends to take sides-- I have no real reason for them to stop hanging out with her, I don't mind. I do have serious problems with no one being interested in me because were no longer together. Where do I go from here? How do I deal with this? | Girlfriend and I separated in a small place. I thought it was until she had some time- she thought it was for good. Not sure why she thinks this way when I asked her about her reasons. None of my friends will hang out anymore but they all make plans and hang out with my ex. |
t3_20hz58 | personalfinance | Help with lease terms | My girlfriend and I are looking at a townhouse that a couple lived in for 8 years and is now renting out. They said they were asking $1100 but willing to work if there is a longer-term agreement. They said that they offered the place to another couple who lives nearby with a 3-year lease at $1050 with first month's rent free.
We really like the location, and it is very close to my job (which I love), so it's hard to say no to. I think if we had to sign a 1-year at $1100/mo we would take it. That said, it seems like there is room to negotiate, and if we get a longer lease, we could save even more money.
Do you have any advice for someone in this position? I've never been in position before to negotiate my rent rate, and it seems like they would definitely be willing to go a little lower to secure a longer lease.
That said, I also don't want to be 100% locked in if, say, in two years, we decided we really wanted to move somewhere else.
The owners seem to be fairly new to this, so I'd like to use that to our advantage to structure the best possible deal for us, but also make it enticing for them as well.
They had it built in 2005 for $113,000, lived there for 8 years, and are now leasing. Can I use this information to find out how much they might be making in profit on the rent, and then be able to use that to get a better deal?
Thanks for any advice. | renting with flexible lease terms and wanting to find the best price, advice appreciated. |
t3_2li57b | tifu | TIFU by letting my cat out | So I had a visitor yesterday who's allergic to cats (the poor soul) and rather than just confine my cat to one room I decided to let her outside to play.
She's only 5 months old and is still quite small so I was a little apprehensive but I threw caution to the wind and let her out.
My friend leaves and being the doting pet owner I am I bring a big bag of treats into the garden and call Momo (that's her name).
I hear her calling, it's pretty loud and is echoing all around the garages. I try again shaking the bag of treats- still just a really loud miaow.
Ok so it's kind of dark at this point so I decide to venture out and look for her. I walk to the end of the garden and she miaows from above me...
wait, above?
I have a 60ft oak tree at the bottom of my garden and my tiny cat has climbed all the way up.
I instantly panic. I call my boyfriend and he says "she got herself up she can get herself down". Which isn't helpful at all. So I call the RSPCA who give the same advice- I have to wait 24 hours before the fire brigade will come and rescue her.
Fast forward to this afternoon and i decide to have a bath. Cats come down a little but is still pretty high. T-1 hours til I can call fire brigade. Just manage to get in and the door goes. I'm home alone so I just ignore it and assume they'll go away. Then for the next 10 minutes someone was incessantly knocking on my door. Must be an emergency so I wrap a towel around me and answer the door. I am greeted by half my street. FUCK.
I'm wearing no underwear and my hairs wet.
I then proceed to have an incredibly awkward 5 minute conversation with my neighbours."yes that's my cat", "yes I've called the rspca" "sorry she's making so much noise".
Worst part is my cat is still in a tree because apparently the fire service don't rescue cats when it's dark. | My cat managed climbed a tree, can't climb down and now my neighbours think I'm a half naked animal abuser. |
t3_1s5hsg | AskReddit | How do I cope with my SO saying hurtful things about my weight? [serious] | When we met I wasn't a smaller girl, about 170cm and sitting around 70kg. So curvy, but not fat. Anyway we fell pregnant and I put on a shit ton of weight, 40kg to be exact and it was all my doing. After having our daughter I became severely depressed because he was always drinking, physically abusing me and saying absolutely horrible things about my weight. One example is that he used to mock me by puffing up his cheeks and shouting 'boom boom boom' as he took steps towards me. It was absolutely horrible and I was in too dark of a place to get myself out of the relationship which was now toxic. He woke up to himself, quit drinking and again became the lovely person that I once met. I was seeing a psychologist and was prescribed antidepressants which helped me out of depression. I changed my lifestyle and lost 25kg. In the past few months I've had a hard time, I have lost 2 babies- one to miscarriage and another to ectopic pregnancy, which I was in hospital for. I stopped exercising and slacked off a bit with my diet, I've only put on 2kg in about 4 months but I'm now pretty much back on track diet-wise. Since I've slacked off however, my SO has been making rude remarks about my weight again, then apologising afterwards. It hurts me a lot but I forgive him every time. Tonight he called me fat, apologised, then immediately made more hurtful remarks about my weight. Now he's grovelling and apologising profusely but I'm sick of it and I don't want to just let it slide again this time. What the fuck should I do!? | SO caused me to spiral into depression by tormenting me about pregnancy weight gain. After losing 25kg he's doing it again and I don't know what to do. |
t3_yo2f8 | AskReddit | Spouses & Abuse Victims: How Do I Help My Husband? | Names have been changed.
My husband Bill's family consists of himself, Mom, Dad, and sister Becky. Bill and Becky are both in their 30's. Dad died a year and a half ago. Bill had always hero worshiped his father.
Today, Becky told my husband that when she was 14-16, one of Dad's brothers repeatedly sexually assaulted her. The family found out, Bill was kept in the dark(he would have been a teenager at that time), and this uncle was allowed to continue coming to family events and over to the house to visit.
Becky went on to explain that when she was 17, *Dad* attempted to sexually assault her. It was only when Becky began to cry and accused him of being just like his brother that Dad apparently stopped. It wasn't until many years later, shortly before Dad's death, that Becky and Dad were able to talk over what happened. Dad told her it was his biggest regret in life, and Becky forgave him.
The trouble now is my husband. I have no idea what to say. Here the man he's taken so many valuable lessons from, who he loved so much in life, not only failed to protect his own daughter from a man he knew was sexually assaulting her, but then went on to attempt to do the same. Bill is beside himself with anger for his sister, and while he's trying very hard to tell me he's not that upset, he goes on to rant about how useless and bad their communication was as a family, that they wouldn't even protect their own daughter, or tell their son what had happened. He says that he's glad his Dad is dead, because he'd have had to kill him himself if he were alive, for doing what he did. Clearly, this is not a man who's "not that upset". He's normally a very open person about his emotions- the wall he's put up is clearly a defense mechanism. And that's fine. He needs to deal with this as he will. | Found out my husband's dad abused my husband's sister when they were teenagers. Dad's dead, so no closure. |
t3_2zjs98 | cats | is it irresponsible to get a cat while still in college? | I am a junior, about to be senior. I will be moving into my first one bedroom apartment on campus in may and really want to get a cat.. i know it is a lot of responsibility and money.
my father assures me it's a stupid idea and i won't be able to take care of it.. i feel like i'd be able to, i took on a large amount of extra responsibility for my cat during high school when she got really sick and needed a lot of extra care for a long time. that experience in my opinion made me more than ready for having another cat, with respect to responsible caretaking. as far as financial matters go, my plan would be to try and adopt a cat from petsmart, i have gone and seen a few before- the adoption fee was i believe 120. and i would shoot for a cat about 1-2 years of age so it's not so dependent and is more likely to be already fixed/vaccination prior to being declared adoptable. primary expenses would be food/litter and box/carrier (anything else major?). i do have a steady job of about 25-30 hours a week and am not struggling but am not rich obviously. i have plenty of money saved up for a vet expenses if needed, but not enough for every and any possibility. though i believe i am pretty attentive to cat health, i accept that potential medical emergencies are a possibility and plan to take the proper actions should that situation arise.
i am however a bit worried about not being able to deduce a cat's personality after one meeting and maybe picking out a cat to adopt and taking them home and they want to attack me to deatthhhh or something. any advice on how to pick a good cat personality wise? i have volunteered at an animal shelter quite a bit with the cats and saw that some would act very sweet and cute for a while and then would turn suddenly mean and true colors came out... is it just a matter of spending enough time with a potential adoptee?
anyway, back to the point | is it a bad idea to get a new pet while still a college student? |
t3_sep98 | relationships | Scared of commitment, letting people in... How do you get over it? | I've never been able to really let people fully into my life. I've never been in love. I always end a relationship before it gets to that point because it freaks me out. I'm 24 F and I've been dating someone for about 3 and a half months and I REALLY like this guy, and that scares me. Most of my relationships end at about this point - as this is the point that the other person begins to want to know more about me in a less superficial way.
I've always had trouble opening up to people, especially people that I'm dating. There are no real reasons that have happened to me personally that I can think of. My parents are in a loving 30+ yr marriage, no abusive past, cheating partners, or even "tough" breakups. I just freak out when I read stories of people cheating on their partner of 10+ yrs or something crazy like that. Then when I start thinking about committing to someone I freak out thinking that you can never truly "know" someone.
Whenever my bf asks serious questions I always change the subject. How do you get over these kinds of issues. I do know that want to have the family one day (Kids, a loving husband, etc...), but I don't know how to get those thoughts of someone else blindsiding me after we've had kids or something like that.
I do read a lot about girls (and boys) who are dating for a few weeks and are okay with sharing their whole lives and fully trusting someone, but I also know that other people have to have the issue I have. How do you deal with it? I want to open up and trust someone, but it is just difficult? What do you do to get over these fears? | I am scared of commitment and opening up, but I REALLY want to. I want a partner and a family eventually. What do people do to get over this fear? |
t3_3fm15w | relationships | We [F24 & M27] of 10 months have just come back from a romantic camping trip yesterday. Found this morning he's been talking to his ex [F?] Via pintrest. | So our camping trip was wonderful, funny, romantic. We went walking and laughed when he couldn't fit in the tent (he's so tall!) He spent the weekend telling me how much he loves me, making jokes about kids names and plans to travel when I become a nurse; plans if his job moves him before that. Everything. I was really happy. He kept telling me how gappy he was too, had fantastic sex last night.
This morning I was on his laptop (mine doesn't really work so I use his a lot, I've had his blessing to use it), going through pintrest. He's been messaging someone and it's still up. He isn't flirting but she is telling him she's dreaming about him and sending him songs saying it reminds he of them kissing in his kitchen. She's clearly an ex. He doesn't tell her to stop but doesn't really stop her. Just complimenting her memory of such things.
We live together (as of 2 months ago) and I love him so much. I feel so disrespected and embarrassed. I don't want to break up with him but I could see this turning into something bigger in the future and me ending up even more hurt than I feel now. He's at work (I'm on a day off as I'm a support worker and work shifts) so I texted him saying 'I was on your laptop looking at pintrest. I'm heart broken (name)'. He hasn't replied which is normal as he's often busy at work.
Where do I go from here reddit? Can you rebuild trust after that? Has he really been doing anything wrong or am I just over sensitive? I'm so shocked and get I can't even cry. | went on a romantic camping trip. He was talking to his ex who was REALLY flirting. He didn't tell he to stop. |
t3_rkwu2 | AskReddit | How does the human body gather energy and consume it? | Hi everyone,
I've been curious of something. How does the human body gather the energy from food and other things and consume it. The reason i ask is because i hear a lot of people tell me they can't have coffee in the aternoon/night or else they will be up all night and some people say the same for oranges since it gives you vitamin C and such. But i can do both of these and I can sleep fine. I did this last night with some oranges and i usually drink some green tea, which im told has caffeine. | Why do some people seem to get "large, long lasting" energy boost from coffee or other means and they can't sleep, but i can just fine. |
t3_25sn86 | relationships | Me [23M/] with my GF [23 F] of 20 Months, she had a black out drunk girl attempt to make out with her last night. How should this be handled? | Hey Guys,
Nothing too long here, title is pretty self explanatory. My girlfriend went out last night with a group of her friends to a country concert and drinking was involved. I didn't end up going as I needed to study for a summer course and work. Apparently, one girl in the group had three to four strong drinks in quick succession and as such, became very drunk and as my gf describes, was a blackout.
While said girl was drunk, she apparently pushed my girlfriend up against a wall and attempted to makeout with her, to no success. Another friend in the group, a guy, was next to my girlfriend and was shocked as well. Apparently this is not normal behavior for the girl at hand and as soon as my girlfriend got home, she gave me a quick explanation of what happened (I was asleep at this point).
So my question is, what's appropriate for handling this? I'm not upset at my girlfriend at all, she held the girl off and told me immediately ( She had attempted to call me directly after while I was at work). It doesn't really bother me, but then again, I'd rather this not be a repeat offense.
Live and let live? Say something? Help! | Girlfriend had a blackout drunk friend attempt to makeout with her last night with no success. Should I let it go or do something? |
t3_l6ywf | relationships | Big fight, need advice. | Im 19 f hes 21 m been together 9 months
Yesterday I finally spoke my mind and was civil about it. He blew it out of proportion.
I told him that he was being disrespectful. For example he farts in my face randomly, its gotton old, and he throws coins at me from across the room to get my attention.
Anyway fastforward to yesterday. We were at olive garden and he kept putting crutons in my soup, I told him i didn't like that. We went to his apartment and he threw a coin at me again. Thats when i told him, "you know better then that." After saying that he got mad, and went for a cig. I played a game of LoL and left. I knew I shouldve stayed and talked face to face but instead I texted him and told him he's being disrespectful via farting coin tossing. He blew it out of proportion, and said this goes back on everything I thought about you.
Now I know he's sexist at times, but that's not the problem, the problem is I spoke up just this once and he blows it out of proportion. Other then that he's been there for me he's helped me and pushed me in positive directions. I still have deep feelings about.this man. Im just wondering what do I do next? Give him time? Talk about it face to face asap? I just need opinions. | spoke up about bf being disrespectful, blew it up he ended up saying this goes back on everything I thought about you. Need advice, what do from here? |
t3_3xo853 | relationship_advice | Does this girl want me to take further steps? | I am a [17/m] senior. I met this cute girl at a robotics competition (seems weird but it happened, normally you don't find any girls much less cute ones at robotics competitions) we chatted for a few minuets and then she asked me for my snap chat, we exchanged info and have been talking pretty much everyday since (almost 2 weeks now). I got her number through snapchat, but she only ever snaps me.
All this has been great so far, however, most of our convos are just pointless banter back and forth, I try to actually make regular conversation but it always leads back to nothing. This may just be the nature of snapchat. I can confidently say we are friends, but I wonder if she likes me because there is no real connection in our convos. But I feel like she had to like me at least little bit to approach me and eventually ask for my snapchat. I didn't use snapchat much except for when she started talking to me.
I hope this makes sense, I am just a little confused. I do not have a problem conversing with people what so ever, I am fine with talking to women. Thanks for any input. | Girl asked me for my snapchat, we have been talking for about 2 weeks, but convos have been endless banter. We are friends, not sure if she actually likes me, or just being nice. |
t3_2w01ss | relationships | Senior in high school [17M] looking for advice on dating underclassmen [14, almost 15F] | So, I'm a 17 year-old senior and I've been talking a lot to this freshman girl (14, almost 15). I know this gets said a lot, but she is really mature for her age and I would never guess she is a freshmen. Before I ever talked to her, friends told me we would be good together and it wouldn't even be really that weird. I'm not looking for a serious relationship, just a casual one (I've heard she is too). Would this be weird or wrong of me to do anything with her? It doesn't seem like it would be, but when I think about her grade level, I feel like I shouldn't. Advice? | I'm a senior, I like a freshmen, was wondering if it would be wrong or weird to pursue anything |
t3_32cjmc | relationships | [17 M] Why am I an asshole to girls? | So, Im 17 and im pretty good looking; a solid 7.5 or 8 out of 10. So as you can tell I'm really bad with girls. I usually just accidentally say something that pisses them off. It can be anywhere, or anytime. Like for example this happened legitimately 10 minutes ago with a girl i have feelings for; say her name is Kassie. (she kinda friendzoned me, but she still wants to hook up) I was snapchatting this other girl from school, just casually because she pretty hot. So i accidentally sent a snapchat to Kassie, and then I said "Sorry Wrong person".
30 minutes later Kassie messages me on facebook and just makes a joke from it. We talk randomly and this is sortof how the conversation went.
**Kassie**: Yeah sure sure "friend" cause who poses like that for a friend xD
**ME**: she a friend i want to bang
smh
SMH
GOSH
hahahahah
I wanted to look cute
**Kassie**:gee yeah tell me that
**ME**: tell you what?
**Kassie**: Bye
Well I realized how I fucked up on this one, but I didnt think of it when i sent her that message. I mean from all the girls I talk to, i just somehow act like such a dick to them in general. Kassie tells me that pretty much on a daily basis, asking why do i make fun of her all the time. But the thing is i just mean it as a joke, i dont sincerely call her "Shrek" its just a fucking joke for fucks sake. Yeah anyways this happens to me with alot of girls I talk to, and I just want to figure out how to stop this. | I always manage to piss a girl off even if I dont mean it. |
t3_1mispn | cats | Questions about relocating a feral cat | My mom has been taking care of a feral cat at our grandfathers house for a few years now. We live in the north east where we have some pretty brutal winters, and he has survived them by sleeping near warm vents at the house and in the garage itself. Problem is my grandfather has passed away and the house is now unoccupied and on the market. We can't really sell the house with the cat, and we can't keep going to the house to take care of the cat.
We want to relocate him up to our house, but it is literally an eighth mile away, so we know he will just take off back to his territory if we stuck him in the car and drove him up. He is far too old and too feral to be tamed into a house cat. What we are looking for is a way or method to teach him that in this house, this area, there will be a warm, sheltered place for him to sleep and food for him in the dead of winter.
My mom is afraid if she cannot do this before the weather gets truly cold he will freeze to death, and is talking about putting him down rather than letting that happen.
For those that will inevitably ask, he is neutered and vaccinated. We trapped him and had it all done when we realized he was feral. We have socialized him, and we can approach/pet him without issue. He'll come to us when we call for him. The biggest reason why we cannot make him a house cat is he reacts extremely negatively to other cats and sprays. | we need to relocate a feral cat. He trusts us and is socialized but making him a house cat is out of the question. Need advice. |
t3_1qw4hm | relationships | I [22, F] slept with my roommate [22, M] and he wants to pretend like nothing happened? | Been living with two roommates for the past 5 months or so. The two of them were in the same friend group for years, while I only recently met them within the past two years.
So yeah, title pretty much explains it all. Saturday night, we all got really drunk, and he and I left the bar early (which isn't weird, we do this a lot). Went back to our place, started watching the Tick (again, not weird) but next thing I know we're making out and having the best sex of my life. I wish I was exaggerating, but dayum.
Next morning was a little awkward. He had a bunch of friends from out of town visiting, so we never really got a chance to talk, and for a brief moment I thought that he honestly didn't remember (we were all *super* drunk). Later that day, when everyone had left, he had trouble finding his glasses, which I knew were in his room because I had tried them on the night before and he said I looked sexy or something like that. We eventually found them, and he said that he must have passed out with them on, giving me a bit of a look that told me he remembers everything.
I told our third roommate [22, F] and she was surprised, a little pissed and told me to be cautious, etc because he can be a bit of a womanizer. But honestly, I have no desire to date him, I just want to have sex with him again, because it was *awesome.*
So basically, I want to approach him about it, but I'm not too sure how. Any advice? | hooked up with my roommate, he's pretending like it never happened, I don't want to date him but I want it to happen again. |
t3_3fjx3x | relationships | I [21F] got caught in a small lie by my dad [45M] after he was snooping through my phone. | Hi!
So, these past weeks, I finished a summer class with flying colors, so I came to my hometown hoping to go to the beach with my friends, as well as doing plenty of other activities around the island we live on. Last Tuesday, I told my mom and dad I'd go to the beach with my friends, and I spent the entire day out with them and with my boyfriend [22M] at the beach, then I visited my dad and spent my evening at the movies with my little sister.
Last Thursday, I told my mom I'd go to the beach, but my friends decided to go to the rainforest for a hike at the last minute, and my parents don't allow me to make last-minute plans under any circumstance, but I wanted to go with them. so, I invited my boyfriend and his friends, I met up with my friends, and told mom and dad I'd be at the beach. I went for a hike all day, got in the river, then grabbed pizza and ice cream with them.
One of those days, I took a tumble and broke a rib, but I hadn't noticed until this Saturday (yesterday) in the morning, since I couldn't breathe and my dad took me to the hospital. They put me on heavy painkillers all morning, so my dad started snooping through my phone, and found the conversation between me and my friends about going to the rainforest. He called my mom, and now she's blaming my boyfriend for "making me" lie to my parents to go out with him, which isn't true at all.
My mom now doesn't want me to be with him, even though it was all my fault, he had no idea I lied to my parents. My dad simply says it's normal for young adults to want to go to all the cool places, but he would've preferred that I tell him about it before.
What do I do to convince my mom that it has nothing to do with my boyfriend? How do I regain my parents' trust? | Lied to my parents about where I'd be for the day, dad snooped through my phone while I was in the hospital for a broken rib. Now mom wants me to break it off with my boyfriend because she thinks he forced me to lie. |
t3_2r3lvz | relationships | Me (26m) need help with a girl (25f) with whom i almost fucked up my chances. | Ive been seeing her for 3 months now, we went from cold to very hot but back to cold again. Basicly what I did was fuck up by moving too fast and being to clingy. Too much texting, not knowing when no really is no (not gone too far, but emotionally), basicly ive been the posterboy of how youre not supposed to win over a girl.
She has however confessed recently that one of the times we were together was one of the best times she had and she misses that day and that version of me. It was a different me because that day I thought I had "closed the deal" so to speak. So my behaviour changed. Me, being very insecure, acts alot different when im not 100% sure this is goong to work, I try to hard. Im basicly the kind of guy who is perfect in a relationship but sucks in getting in one. She knows this now, I told her in a long convo and at the end she confessed she misses the guy I was that day.
I feel like I have one chance left, next sunday im going out to dinner with her, do you guys have any tips, advice or help? I want to make her feel like this is everything she needs, how do I go about this?
Even though I fucked up big time, i still have been given 1 chance. Which means to me she still hopes for me to be the right one right? Or am I getting my hopes up? | ive been with a girl, almost completely fucked up due to being to clingy, need help with my last chance: dinner on sunday whixh she agreed with. |
t3_11ysk3 | relationships | It seems my(24m) SO(20f) has a "damaged sex drive" | (Throw away because SO is a redditor.)
Me and my SO have been going strong lately, a little over 3 months to be exact . We've been in a "serious" relationship for a few months now, but we've always been very very close.
She has told me that her drive is damaged from her previous relationship from it almost seeming like a requirement and it feeling like a chore. We have talked about this, and the sex is always great.
We have been under a bit of stress lately with a few things. It almost felt like the subject of sex was almost taboo. Is there a good way to approach this without seeming like a "sex maniac"? I would like to know if it is merely an attitude change I need, due to the feeling of possibly being out of line by "trying" on a given night.
To close, there is no way on earth that I would ever stop this relationship over this. I love her way too much, and vice versa. | SO has "diminished sex drive" from previous relationship. Do I let it be and have her get comfortable again? Or do I approach her about this? |
t3_tqxox | relationships | Girlfriend doesn't want me traveling to visit coed group of friends | I will try to make this brief but I know it won't be.
I (24M) am in a 2 yr LDR (5 hrs, see her weekendly or every other weekend) with my gf (25F). I have friends in Chicago that I want to visit (I'm in south Florida). My gf doesn't like these friends because they have had a few awkward meetings and just didn't get along well.
I have tried visiting these friends in the past but my gf stopped me because she doesn't want me going. I was planning on going next month, but she is trying to stop me again.
Her reasons range from not being comfortable with me hanging out with girls, me not inviting my gf to go as well, my not doing enough stuff with my gf when I see her, etc. I am flying on points so there is not money going into this.
Am I doing anything wrong by going? I know it is going to put a large strain on our relationship (perhaps ending it) but I feel like not allowing me to see my friends will strain it as well. | girlfriend doesn't want me to visit a coed group of friends in another city. |
t3_4ipdwd | relationships | Me (22M) in a love triangle of sorts (23F and 20F) | So I'm recently out of a serious relationship and met two people at the bar I'm a regular at. One of them Sarah(23f), also a regular, hit on me during my past relationship, only to realize I was taken and she soon apologized. After the breakup we went out to brunch, nothing serious, all we did was talk. However it's clear she's really into me, she's tried to kiss me and given clear signs she wants more.
Enter the other girl Kate(20f). I met her at the same bar, picked up on some subtle signs she was interested in me, and asked her out for coffee. It went really well and we went on our way. She's started coming around the bar a lot, so naturally we hang out when we're both there.
The issue is they're both there often at the same time, and often vying for my attention. Now, I hung out with both of them on the most innocent of intentions, just looking for a casual date, almost between friends. I'm fresh out of something serious and don't want to jump into anything. I've never cared for casual sex, so that's not a factor either. However, I neglected to realize what may be nothing more than friendly hanging out to me could mean more to them.
Sarah is friends with a lot of the same people I am, and obviously were both regulars at the same bar so there's not much avoiding the other. Mutual friends of ours have told me im treading on thin ice, and I responded with how I didn't intend on pursuing either girl anytime in the near future. However as things are, I'd like to continue talking to Kate as friends, and get to know each other in the meantime. I'd rather not do this with Sarah, but maintain our bar friend status if possible.
How can I explain to Sarah that I'm not looking to date, not make her or our mutual friends angry, and continue to see Kate in a casual sense? Or am I just screwed? | Met two girls at the same bar, one is in my friend group, but I'm not interested in seeing her outside of our bar friendship. The other girl I'd like to keep seeing casually, and get to know each other slowly, as I'm emotionally unavailable right now. How can I communicate this and keep the first girl and our mutual friends happy? |
t3_3oo3yn | relationships | Me [19 M] with my ex [19 F] duration a couple months, help, i texted my ex i still had feelings for her, she broke up with me months ago. | Basically just got shot down. Regretted it very much, not only because I probably could have said something better (how are you, just checking in) instead of what I said (basically, I still have feelings for you). And she was right with her response, in that my feelings might not actually be genuine, that it might be a phase, or because I was reminded of her because I recently met one of her friends.
But now I just feel stupid, it was left off at such a nice place. The only reason why I texted her was because I saw a FB group chat with her in it responding to pictures of me, saying she "felt something", and when a friend asked if she was jealous replied "mixed feelings" etc.
I think I just need help coping with this... | Stupidly messaged ex who broke up with me months ago. Said I still had feelings. She replied she was flattered, but said to question if they were genuine, or a phase. (Basically shutting me back down). |
t3_3qvcxx | relationships | Does a married coworker [31F] interested in me [29M] for sex, a relationship, or just the attention? | A married woman makes an effort at work to see me and stick around past her time to leave work. She told me I was really attractive and makes a lot of eye contact, she also lets me make subtle touches when sitting close, like letting my leg touch and stay against hers. I'm very fit, a nice guy, and charasmatic (from what I've been told), I compliment her every time I see her and tell her I'm looking forward to seeing her through email when she's not here (she works at two separate locations).
I told her we should have coffee or something but she says her husband is very jealous and she doesn't know how she could make time between her son, husband, work, and school, but she always emails me when she's coming to this job and has obvious body language that she's interested in me in some form. Is she sexually attracted (wanting excitement outside of her relationship), looking for love from a bad marriage, or does she just really like the attention?
I don't plan on acting anything out, as I was cheated on after 11 years of marriage by my first, I've never dated other than my wife. I already realized something is happening and I plan to keep it proffessional from now on with her, but I'm just trying to learn from this situation how to read women as I enter the dating game and have situations like this with single women... | How do I read a woman's body language?! |
t3_4ho9mt | relationships | I(22M) cheated on my SO(22F) and need to know if I should tell her. | My situation is pretty complicated, I'll try and make it short but bare with me. First of all we met last August and fell in love so quickly and I have had lovers and SO in the past but I have never felt this way about someone. I love her more than anything this is the kind of love you read about. The only problem is when we met I had a girlfriend and she had a fiancé, I know I should've respected the ring but I couldn't stay away. Anyways we fell in love and in January after I felt like she really loved me I broke up with the girl I was seeing at the time. The next few weeks I was having doubts if I had made the right decision and I felt like I needed closure and slept with my ex. After that I have never had any doubts the only thing on my mind is her. I used to be a bit of a player but now all I see and all I want is her. Fast forward to now she is still with her fiancé but I think it's because she loves the idea of starting her life(I'm still in school and have one more year) more than she loves him because he treats her like garbage. I think she is closer to picking me than ever before. I don't want to do anything to make her pick him but the past week or so I have had this feeling like I have to tell her. What should I do? | I broke up with old gf for her. She is still engaged and close to picking me over him. Also she is one of those jealous girls that over reacts to things like this and I think that if I tell her she'll never speak to me again. And I can't have that. I have to have her in my life. |
t3_399ppw | tifu | TIFU by punching the bride in the face | Some background here: I've always been on the chubby side (even since I was a young girl). Two years ago I really started to take control of my health. This year, I've been adding more forms of exercise to my routine, including kickboxing, mixed martial arts, and serious weight training. I'm still pretty new at all these, but dedicated.
My boyfriend has a twin brother who is engaged to this girl who is a "sweet southern belle" type. I'm far less graceful and feminine. We haven't ever gotten along, and the brothers know this. But for my boyfriend/her fiancés sake, we've been making an effort to be civil during all the wedding planning stuff.
Yesterday, my boyfriend invited me to his parents house, where the whole family was gathered. It's three weeks until the wedding, and that takes up most of the conversation in the room. I started joking with the bride-to-be about how nice it will be once "all the stress is over". I can tell she isn't sure if I am joking or being rude, so I try doing a sort of "just messing with you, kiddo!" sort of move. Effectively, I bent my knees and started punching the air and laughing. Only I was standing much closer than I calculated, and I ended up knocking her lower jaw.
I was so thrown and embarrassed by the whole thing, that I start doing this stupid casual laugh. To the family it looks like I just happily knocked out the bride.
She ended up having a HUGE fat lip, and really bad bruising. One tooth is "wiggly" according to her. I realized afterwards that my "playful jab" was probably a lot stronger than I am used to prior to gym training. So far, the whole family (and my boyfriend) are doing their best to be understanding, but they are very pissed (especially given our history of dislike). | My awkward attempt at making a joke had me punching a bride three weeks before her wedding. |
t3_1keo8j | relationships | I [20/m] really like her [18/f] but her best friend [17/f] has been coming onto me since February. | I really like this girl [Sonya] that I've sorta known for a while and she really likes me. Simple enough right? No.
Her best friend [Jazmin] has been coming onto me since February. Strong. I feel like I've made it clear that I wasn't interested, but that doesn't seem to be the case.
Sonya came into the picture about a month ago and I began to pursue her. We've been on two dates and we both really like each other. The only thing is, she feels really bad about Jazmin because Sonya feels I had sorta lead Jazmin on. I told her I was just being friendly and that I was never interested in her which is true.
Jazmin has no clue about Sonya and I right now. Sonya thinks that I should talk to Jazmin about this whole thing...but I don't even know what to say. Any advice? | I really like a girl, but her best friend has been coming onto me for a long time and I can't pursue the girl I actually like until I deal with the best friend. Help =/ |
t3_2w32lw | tifu | TIFU by dropping my work keys | This was actually last night, but any who... My job is to lock up the campus after students leave. I have only been working this job for two semesters. Upon being hired they tell you that if you lose the keys it will result in an obnoxious fine of like 25,000 dollars. However, I was reassured that no one has ever lost the keys and not to worry. This calmed my nerves about handling the keys a bit.
Well, for every shift you have to log out keys, so they know who had which keys and when, etc. So, I logged out the keys needed to lock up the campus and go on my merry way. When it's time to lock up my coworker and I split up. I start out great, I'm locking the doors in record time.
There are multiple floors I have to lock up in the building I am in, so I go up the elevator and head to the second floor. As I am exiting I go to take my keys off my key hook and they slip out of my fingers right into the crack between the elevator and the floor. They disappear into oblivion before I could even attempt to save them before their terrible plummet into the shaft of hell.
I had to tell my boss and his boss of my idiocy and I'm just waiting to hear my fate. Also, I told my mom and she asked automatically went to me being fired. | I dropped my work keys through a crack between the floor and elevator and might have to pay a huge fine. That will successfully break my bank for a lifetime. |
t3_46vz67 | relationships | I [28F] talked with my friend [35 M] about dating(in general, not with each other. I told him about one guy I was interested in and he shot him down? | We were just conversing the other day about each other, and I brought up dating because I felt I needed advice. I asked him a few questions, partially about online dating, which he gave the advice to "explore my sexuality" which I do agree, I just don't think it should be just any Jo smo. I have been talking to a few guys from online, and they all seem to go for sex first thing. I don't know how to handle that, I was raised LDS(Mormon) and was hardcore until about 5 years ago. Sex to me is where I meet the guy, find out if I like him, then go for it. Online dating makes that a bit hard.
One of the guys I had been conversing with we seemed to hit it off. He is looking to sell fly boarding equipment, and is currently living with his dad and step mom. He works as a bartender at a local bar and is saving up money to go traveling. I told my guy friend( who I dated briefly for a month) all of this except that he lives with his parents. He told me I don't want to date someone that works for tips. While this may/may not be a jealousy thing, I did tell my guy friend that my sister works for tips, and he gave the excuse of well, she is married, right? What is so bad about someone that works for tips? | I told my guy friend (who I briefly dated for 2 months.I broke it off) that I was interested in a bartender, and he told me, wfw that I don't want to date a bartender. |
t3_tja5y | relationships | "The talk" | I've been seeing this guy for a few months. In the beginning, we agreed to keep it casual but didn't talk about it much. Anyway, as time has gone on, I've started wanting to talk about our situation more, but I don't want to be the one to bring it up. I hate "the talk." I had an exclusivity conversation with the last couple of guys I dated about a month or so in, and they ended things about a week later. Current guy ended things with last girl because they'd gotten too serious. We're both in our 20s. I don't really want something serious, but just want to know where he stands. How do I bring it up without scaring him off? Or get him to bring it up? | Don't know how to bring up the dreaded "talk" with guy I've been seeing without scaring him away. |
t3_3eo8xe | relationships | My [21F] Boyfriend [20M] Doesn't Let Me Talk to his Friends | My boyfriend & I have been together for four months, I don't really have any friends of the opposite gender, but about half of his friends are the opposite gender. I don't really like the fact that he does, and we had a bit of a fight a couple months ago when he found out that I was texting one of his female friends from his phone to see if she would flirt with him. She did kind of flirt back, despite knowing he had a girlfriend, and that made me pretty angry and I asked that he stopped speaking to her. He did end their friendship but he's still friends with several girls and I've asked if I could speak to them like before I just let him go hang out with them, and he's like really reluctant about letting me do that. I just want to talk to them and maybe potentially be friends with them as well, what do you think I should do to convince him that I'm not doing it for some bad reason? Thankyou | My boyfriend doesn't let me talk to his friends, I'm just trying to be nice to them. |
t3_47bo0n | relationships | Me [25 M] and GF [21 F] of 1.5y broke up, floating around. Don't know what i should do. (like 99% of all people..) | Hi people,
last night my gf and i broke up. long story short, we had some issues earlier this year. she told me, she's unsure about her future (what she should study, what's with her family and her current apprenticeship and most of all, herself. She didn't like some body parts of her (no she's not fat or smtg, she's beautiful)) and she couldn't clearly think about anything anymore.
Yes, i was a little bit guilty with this case too. I was a kind of "nice guy". Doing things for her and not for me. But after I realized it, in january, and begun to change the things went better.
Nevertheless, we broke up yesterday. She said, she loved me, she needs my hugs, my warmth, and me around her, but she couldn't develop sexual desiere towards me. She want some time for herself and want to think about this all. She want to expierence if she missed me after a week or two or if its all neutral. She feels numb. (about everything)
We talked a lot yesterday and i told her, that I put a lot effort in the last few weeks in our realtionship, but also feel that i'm not receving the attention from her i should deserve. And she realized it too. When we hung out. everything was fine. we made love and had a good time. but when she was at home / with her friends out or by herself she didn't waste her time with me. ((texting or something else) and NO I'm not herassing her or sending her texts every hour.)
___________________________________________________
now, the morning after. I'm the one who feels numb. Tonight i will meet my best friend and will talk about it.. But i could use some advice from internet strangers too. What do you recommend me? Should I wait until she come back to me or should i cancel the whole story in my head and go on? Personally I'm still loving her and yes. I'm confused. | gf and i broke up, pretty confused what i should do now. girlfriend needs time for herself, she is unsure about her future and herself. |
t3_1fh8fn | relationships | [35, M] I'm not sure I want to marry my fiancee [29, F] and I need advice (long story) | Length of relationship: 5 years
My fiancee, let's call her L, and I have known each other for 7 years, and we've been dating for 5. We recently got engaged (the wedding is a month away), and I thought things were going well until I overheard a conversation between her and her mother, C, where she told her that she no longer loved me and was thinking of leaving me for another man. I didn't say anything at the time because I wanted to talk to her alone. I trust L, and she has never given me any reason in the past to doubt her faithfulness.
I have a well paying job, at a bank, and she has just started her own computer business. We've been living together for the last 3 years, surrounded by our circle of close friends, and she is especially close with my best friend, M. We've even discussed starting a family in the future, and we've unofficially "adopted" a young orphaned neighbour, D.
I don't know why she would be unhappy with our relationship. I provide for her, I give her financial support, I love her so much. | I think my fiancee is cheating on me, maybe with my best friend, I don't know what to do because this is tearing me apart. |
t3_2prolv | relationships | I'm a [30/F] trying to regain intimacy with my BF [31/M] of almost two years. | Hello /r/relationships,
I am a 30 year old woman with a long history of financial instability and poor dating choices. Just under a year ago I finally straightened up and started dating a really wonderful guy, whom I have lived with for about six months now.
I changed jobs several times and was generally broke for the first year of our relationship. I've just now gotten my career on track, doing a job I love, and I'm finally making enough money to keep my head above water and fully share financial responsibilities for our apartment, etc.
During the last few months of living together, we have started to drift apart a little. He has his own hobbies (video games, horror movies, smoking pot and drinking Scotch) that he does in his part of the house. I have my hobbies (I work from home, watch Netflix, do yoga, etc) that I mostly do in my part of the house. Apart from eating dinner together a couple times a week, we don't really HANG OUT much anymore. Honestly, I think we both like being alone a lot.
The problem is that now that we've really settled into being a long-term relationship (including growing pains, fights, hard discussions, etc), it feels like we're getting pretty distant. We hardly ever have sex, and when we do it's brief and awkward and unsatisfying. Part of all of this is that I used to drink and party and invite him out to a lot of fun events when we lived apart, but I no longer drink and I socialize a lot less than I used to.
I'm starting to get cold feet about our long-term compatibility, though we have a lot of the same life goals and interests. We are honestly good together, but I do have a history of getting bored and bailing on long-term relationships. I really, really want to make this work with him!
On top of all this, my BF surprised me this week by telling me that he wants to buy a house. Not with me, just on his own, though he wants me to tour houses and give him my opinion, I guess. That's a whole other can of worms. | After two years and lots of growing pains, how should I go about trying to regain some of the intimacy and fun that we had at the beginning of our relationship? |
t3_s27tj | AskReddit | What stupid little things did a family member of yours tell you that you believed as a kid? How did you find out it was a lie? | Your story can be an answer to a question they answered incorrectly like "why is the sky blue" and they supposedly say "because god peed in it"
It can be something silly they always thought you like if you finger yourself you go to hell. (yes my mom told me that). and if your family didn't tell you a lie you believed, then tell us some silly explanation you made up on your own for everything.
I'll start,
The usual question..."where do babies come from?". I asked my mom and her answer was that automatically when someone gets married they get pregnant. When I was a kid it made sense because it explained why my parents had me after they were married. When I look back at it today was it was a real smart answer to give me to avoid the conversation of sex with a 6-year-old kid. (yes my parents we're extremely religious.)
How I found out? A little embarrassing sadly. My Third teacher was having a discussion with the class on why men and women we're equally important. Her statement was
"If all the men on this planet disappeared even if women could survive for a good amount of time they wouldn't be able to reproduce and the women would all eventually become extinct".
Then I raised my hand happily and said
"BUT ALL THE GIRLS CAN JUST GET MARRIED. THEY AUTOMATICALLY HAVE KIDS RIGHT AFTER RIGHT".
Everyone turned and stared at me, some of them with the eyebrows raised especially my teacher. I still kept going "What! its true! that's how babies are made!". No one said anything and the topic was changed. Later that day an old friend came to me and had to explain to me the true story.
"you do know where babies come from right?"
"yeah marriage! right."
"uhhh. no. its from something else"
"well what is it? tell me."
she walks away and gets a dictionary and points to the word sex. I literally said "oh.....OHHHHHHHH" | asked my parents where do babies come from, they lied. found out by embarrassing myself in front of my third grade class |
t3_51tu9m | relationships | Me [16 M] with my long distance girlfriend [16 F] 7 months doesn't really seem to care about me coming down and the time we can spend together. | So me and my gf have been together for a few months and i see her whenever i'm able to. I have to pay £60 to take the train each time i want to see her and when i tell her i'm coming down she doesn't really seem excited and it makes me feel as if the relationship is one way. All i wanna do is see her and spend time with her but she takes our time for granted and spends it with long distance friends i also have down there instead of spending what little time we have with me and when mentioned that i'm coming down i get the worlds fakest excitement. I've spoke to her about it and her reasoning for the former seems reasonable (she wants everyone to feel included) but the latter seems to be getting to me more than it should. Any advice? | Would you call more one sided if i wanted to spend time with her more than she does with me during a long distance relationship? |
t3_4cux8s | cats | [Advice needed] Picky cats are annoying and try to eat trash | Hello fellow cat people!
I have the following problem:
My two cats are really picky when it comes to food. So much in fact, that despite changing brands often (in order to prevent stubborn reactions) they sometimes flat-out refuse to eat ANYTHING I offer to them. Instead they will run around the apartment screaming for food but not eating or simply just nibbling as little as possible at the food.
I have already tried to appease them with different food, I tried to tough it out or to make the food more appealing by sprinkling treats on it. Nothing works. They won't eat for days if they have to.
Another problem is that one of my cat not only asks for food. No, she will actively display her hunger/stubbornness by chewing anything inedible she can get her hands on. Be it wrappers, plastics, cables, plastic bags, etc. She is not below breaking into the trash can and pulling out the stringiest plastics she can find.
So not only do I have no make sure the cats eat, I also have to deal with a cat that loves to try and kill herself as soon as we wake up in the mornings or come home from work.
I have noticed that the kamikaze cat is also a huge attention whore. If she could she would demand my full attention 100% 24/7 and then some more. So I am thinking that she is also purposefully trying to fuck shit up in order to get MOAR ATTENSHUN.
Of course cleaning up plastics, hiding cables and whatnot are obvious solutions, which we did, but you can't hide EVERYTHING all the time.
Maybe relevant info: Last week the cats have behaved quite well. However, then I went to visit my family and was away for a couple of days. When I returned my boyfriend happened to give the cats some treats. Since then they have been insufferable again.
Sorry for the wall of text! | Cats refuse to eat food, go for plastics or cables and they are attention whoring non-stop. |
t3_14wab5 | tifu | TIFU by vomiting in a movie theater | Actually happened last night but I am now finally conscious enough to type. I am going out to see the Hobbit with a few friends. It's night and I haven't eaten since breakfast. Before the movies we go to a bar where I drink about 7 beers.
I make the horrible decision that I am not drunk enough yet. We go back to my apartment where I do shots with various people. I do 4 in under 30 minutes. Now it's time for the movie. I continue my fuck up by deciding to sneak in a pint of vodka and dump about half of it in my theater drink. I quickly chug quite a bit of it and then the drunk hits me all at once. I realize Biblo Baggins head is doubling and I can't see straight. I begin to feel sick and make a run for the bathroom. I don't make it. I throw up in the dark hall leaving the theater. Get to the bathroom and throw up several more times.
After a while I think I am going to be okay. I get up and go back into the movie. I have somehow managed to keep the vomit off my clothes up to this point. I have still have double vision. Make it through about 30 more minutes of the movie and feel the urge to vomit again. I only manage to stand up this time and then vomit all over the floor in my aisle and my clothes because I turned my head to avoid hitting my friends or any other people with the spray.
I go back to the bathroom, throw up some more, attempt to clean myself up, and eventually admit defeat and call my roommate to come pick me up. I continued vomiting after I got home. Woke up this morning to find my friends dropped off my cup of mello yello and vodka. It is sitting on my kitchen counter now making me feel nauseous again. I feel terrible. I paid for a movie and snacks and then became a fountain of vomit. Didn't get to really watch the movie myself and probably ruined most of it for my friends. Not to mention the horrible mess I left for the theater workers. | drank way too much on an empty stomach, threw up beer, vodka, and popcorn all over myself and the theater floor, and had to leave after seeing maybe 1/3 of the movie |
t3_1ek3l2 | AskReddit | Graduating next year with a B.S. in Environmental Studies. Trying to get a job and get out of Ohio | Next May I'll be graduating with my B.S. in Environmental Studies. Tried to keep busy with internships. I worked for 9 months at an energy efficiency non-profit working with contractors and doing energy reporting. I did a fellowship with the Sierra Club doing water testing and community organizing. And I just started an internship at my city's office of environmental quality working on Greenhouse Gas Inventories, recycling projects, and whatever else they throw at me. I'd like to get a job in the pacific northwest or maybe on the east coast somewhere. What kinds of environmental jobs could I get? | B.S. Environmental Studies, 3 undergrad internships. Trying to get jobs pacific northwest or east coast. |
t3_4jrfz5 | relationship_advice | Me [18/m] and my gf [18/f] are moving away for college, do we continue our relationship? | So me and my gf are going to college in September and are going to be across the country from each other. We plan to not continue out relationship long distance, because we know that never really works out.
We have been dating for a year now, and we both love each other very much. We are best friends, have great sex, and spend almost every possible minute together.
We both are going to have busy summer jobs, her hours in the morning and my hours in the evening, almost every day. We are certainly not going to have as much time with each other over summer.
The feeling of knowing when our relationship will end due to college has changed our relationship dramatically. I still love her a lot and want to continue making memories until we must absolutely stop, but she feels like she wants to slow it down so she doesn't feel as impacted when it's time to leave.
What do you guys think is the best option? I can't imagine leaving her, but I also don't want her to feel hurt. | Both of us are going to college and we don't know whether to continue our relationship through summer before college or just end it to prevent a difficult start to college. |
t3_4elxhk | relationships | Inlaws [70 M/F] visiting and want to bring their cats. Both daughter & I are allergic. | Inlaws live in a different state. Also own a house in FL. We are located kinda in the middle.
They want to stop by and stay with us on their drive back from FL. With their cats.
I [34 F] am sensitive to pet dander and my daughter gets full on reactions from it. When we visit their houses, we make her take allergy medicine, we don't wear our coats inside and we wash anything we wore inside so the allergens don't linger. We stay in hotels and don't stay at their houses very long.
Husband [43 M] says the cats can stay in the garage.
I think it's thoughtless and disrespectful to bring an animal to the house of an allergic person. He is upset that I don't want them to come. (In fairness to him I don't like the idea of any family staying in my house...that's what hotels are for. But this is honestly about cats.)
**Another important, very critical thing to mention - we JUST moved into a new house. Our things are still in boxes and all over the floor. We had tentatively discussed their visit in December but it was before we had to move. Now with a house that is still partially in boxes, I feel like it's really bad taste for a person to not realize how horrible the timing is. | Inlaws want to visit, with cats. Both daughter and I are allergic. We just moved into a new house, still unpacking. Am I the asshole for not wanting them to stay in my home? |
t3_1uv0cm | relationships | Found a girl JUST like me... Is It Meant to Be? | We have the same face-shape, eye color (A crazy, odd-looking wierd color, like a mix of brown and green), same hair-style (blonde, to the same degree - Of course, hers is more "femanine", but shorter.), VERY similar facial features, skin-color, etc, literally the same personallity and everything, too... We're both 23, born on the same (number) day, of different months etc.
So much so, that even the things about us that almost nobody would have (personality type, wants, etc.), we've got... Like, it's almost supernatural... It's like we're meant to be.
For those who believe in such things...
Would you take this as a sign that she and I are meant to be together? (Sidenote. 100% positive we're not related, and we know each other to a decent degree, and it's very awesome seeing us interact apparently... people thought she was my twin, haha!!!!)
I'd like to be in a relationship with her at some point... | we're like the same person, but different genders. Would you take this as a sign from "above" (if you believe such things) that we're meant to be together? |
t3_19r9ro | cats | Help! What should I do about my kitties & allergies? | Seeking advice. My mom recently developed allergies to our two cats (11&6yo). The medicine to keep it under control is not only expensive, but takes a few days/several doses before it kicks in. When she is not on the medicine, she is sick - runny nose, hard to breathe, cold like symptoms. I do not want to give away our cats, but is this is the only option? My heart would be broken if I had to get rid of my boy who has been with me for over half of my life. Have you been in this situation? Am I being irrational to want to keep them despite my mom's health? I cried for the entire day when she told me we need to find them a new home. She cleans their area/litter box 2x a day so she is tired of doing that too. My one cleaning per day evidently will not suffice her standards. | mom allergic to our cats, should we get rid of them even though I don't know how I would survive that? |
t3_j8y0e | AskReddit | Older siblings of Reddit: Have you ever had to act as parents to your younger sibs? | I'll try to keep this brief. I moved home recently, I'm 26 (bad roommate situation) and work full time. Last night I get home from work and find my parents have gone with my little sis to the coast until Friday. I'm left with my younger brother (16). He calls me to ask if he can have a couple friends from his basketball team sleep over and "not to tell mom and dad". I find out that he's supposed to be sleeping at home, and no guests allowed. I'm usually pretty lenient, but when I hear lots of noise by the door I see about 8 kids, mix of boys and girls.
The first thought in my mind is "oh HELL no" and I send my little bro a text that says there is no way these kids are staying the night, get them all out now. I should note that on previous sleepovers - when the parents were home - he has had alcohol with his friends.
Normally we have a great relationship, but for him to mislead me have underage kids drinking downstairs crossed a line. He is trying to play it like I've betrayed him and we get into the first fight we've ever had. I tried my best to calmly explain that this puts me in a bad position and that it is not fair to ask this from me. He insists that it's "no big deal and I'll take the blame for anything that happens."
In the end, I stand my ground. He huffs and puffs, but eventually goes to someone else's house that my parents have said is OK for him to go to.
For me the worst part is that my parents gave me no heads up, so I was forced to play bad guy – or girl in this case. I feel shitty to have our relationship stressed by this, but I had no choice really. He's a good kid, this is just normal teenage shit that I did when I was young too. | – My 16 year old brother tried to have a party when our parents were gone I had to say no. |
t3_3und7h | askwomenadvice | I [20F] have a bf [24M] of 3 months but recently got in contact with an ex [24M] | I posted this in another subreddit but didn't get responses so I figured I'd try here! Hope you ladies can offer some help, support, and ideas.
So let's get to the story. This past summer I was seeing a guy, let's call him John. John and I were together for only a few months before conflict arose. It was a really messed up situation and if you'd like more details I'd explain later but it's not really important. Long story short, we stopped speaking immediately after. Come a month or so later, I start seeing another guy who we'll call Al. Al and I have been together for 3 months and we're really happy. He makes me laugh so much and it doesn't hurt that the sex is wonderful. But he doesn't really have his life together. He's working two part time jobs, doesn't make much money, and has no real motivation to do something he loves. Now John recently messaged me saying he was sorry for what happened and that it was in no way my fault and he explained why what happened occurred. He is a wonderful, sweet man with dedication to farthering himself in life and doing what he loves. I don't know if I want to leave Al for John but I'm afraid if I don't I'll never have the chance with John that I wanted and still kind of want. I have always seen Al as more of a fun-time type of guy and haven't really expected anything long term but it still hurts to thinking about leaving him. John is definitely more of a long term guy and has the motivation in life that I also have and look for. | John and I had a conflict, now talking again. Al and I are dating but Al doesn't have his life together. John does. I still like John. |
t3_16ik6l | relationships | I (20m) am not sure whether or not to continue my relationship of 3 years with my gf (20f) | Okay so a bit of backstory:
We've been dating for the past 3 years and I couldn't be happier. She is perfect for me and I love her to death. My only problem is that I'm only 20 and I don't know if I want to stay in the same relationship forever. I've always been a relationship guy and as never one to hook-up a lot as I've had a gf (ex's included) for a total of 5 of the past 6 years.
I recently got job at a bar and have had girls constantly flirt with me and try to hook up with me after I finish work. Normally I would think nothing of it and brush it off but part of me wanted to get with these girls (I didn't because I'm not that type of person). I kind of got a rush out of this because it's the first time I've had these opportunities in a long time and it made me want to be single again.
In no way has my gf done anything to make me want to leave her or anything like that. I love her to death but since I am still very young, I feel like I want to get away from relationships for a bit, at least until I'm a little bit older.
I don't know how to go about handling this situation as I hate to hurt my gf and don't necessarily want her out of my life.
Has anyone been through a similar situation? Any advice on how I should handle this would be greatly appreciated. | feel like being single again during my 3 year relationship |
t3_44gh3s | relationships | I[17M] broke up with my [16F] girlfriend after a year | I snapped and broke up with her(Lets call her Cassandra from now on) for what I believe was emotional abuse. I want to know, Was it?
Cassandra made me so drained, I never felt happy unless she let me, i felt like shit for so long. while She would continue to do things She knew hurt me. Cassandra insulted me in public many times.
She made me feel like an outsider in our relationship, as well as shunning me for trying not to relapse into depression(which i did). I hurt myself mentally so many times to make Her happy. It felt like for so long my only way out was killing myself, never attempted thanks to my loving family for that. the last time i felt genuine happiness was before the relation ship. Yet I still miss her and I hate this feeling, This feeling of despair. She made me so vulnerable. | Broke up with Cassandra after a year for what I thought was emotional abuse. Was it? |
t3_2sz234 | relationships | My (F22) boyfriend (M22) looks up his ex girlfriend on FB everyday? | We've been dating for almost 3 years.
So my boyfriend was showing me something on his Facebook about a month and a half ago and when he clicked the search button, his last few searches came up. I noticed that it was his ex girlfriend twice and his attractive female friend. I instantly asked to see his phone (probably a bad choice and makes me sound like a controlling freak) and looked at his activity log.
I found out that he looks at his ex girlfriend (whom he dated FIVE years ago for ONE month) every single day. He looks at his attractive female friend every day as well, and looks at about three other girls he had random flings with about once a week.
He barely looks at anyone else's profiles. Like, these are basically the only profiles he searches.
I got overly upset about it and he assured me that it was nothing and that he doesn't even know why he looks at their profiles. He suggested it was a weird habit he has. But he told me that they mean absolutely nothing to him. He even deleted the girl he dated five years ago to show me how much she doesn't mean to him.
Well, it's a month and a half later and I'm still weirdly upset about it. I can't get over it. Isn't that weird? It's starting to really annoy him that I keep bringing it up and he told me that we can't continue our relationship if I am going to be this insecure. I don't know what to do. | Boyfriend looks at his ex's page daily (whom he dated 5 years ago for only 1 month) and a few other girls he had flings with. He doesn't search for anyone else, just them. He swears they mean nothing to him and he even deleted his ex to prove it. I keep bringing it up and he says we will have to break up if I continue to be insecure about this when he already told me they mean nothing. |
t3_qy46e | AskReddit | What was your best moment of trolling the internet? | This probably doesn't even count as trolling but I'll tell the story just to start things off.
I used to play Evony and eventually was able to join a rather strong but peaceful clan whom we will refer to as CL20 (top 10 in the server). We basically only conquered lands that were vacant or abandoned as to not stir up any warfare.
Then came along another clan, we'll call them "Big Dogs" because they were in the top 5. They also decided to attack some of our smaller allies and clan members in order to establish a strong hold on the land.
Now this is where I come in. At a time where peace was fading quickly and my original clan was working up plans to destroy our approaching enemy, I decided to take a different approach to the madness. I quit the clan.
I promptly messaged the enemy clan and told them I wanted to join. They asked me why they should let me in, and I told them I had old ties with CL20 and knew what their future plans were. This is where it gets good...
Upon being accepted into the clan I start private messaging the leader about being promoted to a higher rank (I forget what the rank names were), but after much debate and haggling (the more lies I told them about CL20 the more they felt empowered), they allowed me in a seat only two down from the throne. This gave me a lot of pull.
I waited until the leader was offline.
I then went into the books and started deleting clan members, one by one, from the strongest to the weakest. It was glorious. I took the clan down to about 13 members, most of which were small and disorganized. Only the two leaders above me remained in power, but with a broken clan.
Rebuilding their clan was not difficult because all they had to do was check the books and send invites to the usernames deleted. But it allowed CL20 a lot of passageway into destroying the users I had deleted from the clan (since they were unable to be helped by the Big Dogs upon being separated). This eventually led the Big Dogs to a #15 spot in the server, allowed CL20 to hit #5. | In Evony, I quit my original clan to join a growing enemy clan, told them numerous lies about the old clan to gain a high position in the new clan, and subsequently deleted about 80 or so strong users in the new clan, which allowed my original clan access to their strongest cities. |
t3_154x68 | relationships | How do you stop yourself becoming bored in a relationship? | Hey folks. I (18M) and I was in a relationship with one of the most amazing girls I had ever met (17F). We had been dating for about a month before I asked her out and everything was great. Suddenly I found myself turning sour towards her, replying bluntly to her sweet messages, lack of enthusiasm when with her and worst of all a complete lack of will to spend time with her. I realized i had to break things off as I couldn't let myself do this to her. It's not the first time this has happened, it is the first time i've questioned myself and thought "I must be an idiot to let her go." Any advice/experiences would be great to hear! Thanks. | Basically I got bored and now I question my sanity. |
t3_1969f9 | relationships | My(20f) boyfriend(23m) was planning on cheating on me. | We have been dating a year and a half and have a three month old son together. Things were amazing. He was a great guy, so I thought. Until Saturday night. I caught him planning to cheat on me. My friend was sitting on my right, and he was sitting on my left. I noticed my bf writing a message through facebook. He randomly got up and said I'm gonna watch a video on the iPad in the bathroom so I don't disturb your movie.
I thought something weird was going on so I surprised him and opened the door quickly to find him writing her. I asked for his iPod, and discovered many conversations about wanting to Fuck each other, her suck his dick, him saying he hopes I get a night shift job so she can come Fuck him.
He would be watching MY SON and Fucking some bitch in the same room.
How do I work this out? Im so angry, hurt, sad, betrayed. Help please! | caught bf planning to cheat on me. What do I do? |
t3_2jfkr6 | relationships | Family disapproves of current bf. Not sure what to do. | I [19 F] have been dating my current boyfriend [20 M] for 3 months now and I really like the guy. Unfortunately, my parents and sister really disapprove of him because he used to smoke pot. (He has been clean for more than 6 months and plans to keep it that way.)
This is becoming more and more of a problem because I am still living with my parents and they have forbidden me from seeing him. Since we go to different universities and my parents expect me to be home as soon as classes finish, I am having a hard time finding a time to see my boyfriend. Texting is our only method of communication, at the moment.
So Reddit, I need some advice. Should I continue on with this relationship? If yes, how can this relationship progress? Or should I focus more on school? Move out of my parents' place? I know a 3 months long relationship shouldn't weigh so much on my heart but I really like the guy and I know he likes me. | I live with my parents. Family don't like current boyfriend of 3 months. Can't see boyfriend but want relationship to continue. Don't know how the relationship can continue. |
t3_2ywre8 | legaladvice | Health hazards at work. | I'm in Ontario, Canada.
First time posting here, I'm not sure if this is the best place for this but don't know where else to go. If there is a better sub please let me know and I'll head that way.
My husband's place of work is horrible. They only hire people on work visa's and use it against them to make them work under awful circumstances as they fear being fired and deported. There are a ton of problems but I'm currently concerned with one specific issue so I'll get to it.
My husband is a chemist and his hood (where he makes compounds) had a leak above it. After two years of complaining the company finally caved and hired some roofers. The roofers decided it was a good idea to use a blowtorch to melt the ice so they could get to the roof and set it on fire.
Management disabled the alarms as soon as possible (we assume to avoid having to pay any sort of fee from the fire department) and didn't say anything to the employees. They decided to leave the building when it started to fill with smoke and that's how we know it was on fire.
It's now two days later. Yesterday it was so cold in lab no one was able to work. Today the temperature is better but my husband is having some very scary side effects when he is near his hood: eyes feel swollen, nose gets stuffed and runny, and throat feels raw.
When he leaves the area he will begin to feel better after about 15 minutes. Two other people have noticed the same feelings when near the open roof area. He has brought up the issue to superiors and has gotten a shrug.
My question is; what rights does he have here? What can we do to ensure he doesn't die at this job?
For reference, he is no longer on work visa. He has permanent resident status. | dangerous work conditions being brushed off. What can we do? |
t3_2ovhvf | relationships | My [23f] boyfriend [28m] of 2 years tells white lies to "keep me happy." | Don't know how I feel about this. He told me that when he talks about being together in the future it's to make me happy.
Sometime last year, we had been talking about getting an apartment together and he told me that he had never really wanted to live with any of his exes because he didn't feel as strongly abut them as he feels about me. I'm wondering if this was a lie too and how many others like it he's told.
He has a thing with telling me what I want to hear so that I feel special/happy. I think that if the things you tell me to make me feel special/happy are lies, then we have a very big problem.
I'm planning on asking him if he ever planned on moving in with any of his exes and seeing what he says. A lot of times he doesn't remember telling me certain things so I might "catch him in a lie" if he says that yes, he had planned on moving in with exes. I feel kind of dirty for "trying to catch him in a lie" but I'd rather know if he's been lying to me throughout our relationship than just sitting back being somewhat oblivious.
He recently told me that he wants me to feel like I can trust him.
What do you think? | Boyfriend may have been telling "white lies" throughout our relationship. |
t3_ggyo6 | relationships | competing for time with gf's parents | I am in the town where both my GF and my parents live for three days and I got the chance to take the trip rather suddenly. Turns out her parents are in town for this weekend. I spent about two hours with her and the rest of the time she has spent with her parents without me even being invited to tag along. I tried to invite them all to dinner with me and my parents and they said no. Is this something to be upset over. I feel like I have to compete with her parents for her time instead of her trying to at least try to fit me into her schedule. (Her parents live three hours away so its not an unusual occurrence for her to see them). Am I right in feeling upset and is there a way I can say this without coming off as trying to get between her and her parents?
Ages 25 and 24 and We have been dating four years distance for two | I am in town and will not be able to see my long distance GF because she is spending all her time with her parents |
t3_2opdqz | relationship_advice | Choice between two project, two teams, how do I not make people upset with me. | So I've gotten into a new industry in the past 4 months that I am really excited about. I got into it by dedicating myself to two substantial projects, half of full-time into each. It's all pretty much at the start-up phase, so nobody was getting paid, but I own a stake in what is getting created.
Both projects are really different, I get along with both teams really well, though one of them I feel I have much more ownership of the idea and the company that is forming around it. Lets call that Company A.
Company B is fun too. The members have a bit more experience and there is actually a prospect of making money in the coming months. That prospect for company B, that might actually pay me is looming large over my head because it has not been confirmed, and if it happens, I don't see any reasonable way to still participate in Company A to the extent that I think is necessary for it to really succeed.
I really like what is happening at Company A. It's more fun, and I think the long term future is better aligned with my values. So my main plan at the moment is to tell Company B that I have to say **no** to the Big Prospect that might come in next month, because I know that I can't do it, finish the first project for Company B and continue to work with Company A.
But I'm all nervous because if I tell them **No** I'm out, I pretty much screw up that Big Prospect, because it was relying fairly heavily on my skills and time if it was going to happen. I'm having a really hard time coming up with the courage to say No, even though I know it's the right thing to do.
I don't want to burn any bridges, because everybody involved is really nice. | How do I say **"no I can't do it"** to people who were counting on me? |
t3_1neuh7 | relationships | I'm (25/m) the nerd dating the hot girl (22/f) | First, a couple of facts. I'm not the Screech type nerd. But, I wasn't very popular in high school/college and I now have a great job to which I devote most of my time so I don't have a ton of friends or social life. My girlfriend and I are in kind of a long distance (2 hours apart) relationship but we see each other at least every other weekend. We've been dating just over a year. My question revolves around the fact that she's the typical popular, hot girl with tons of guy friends. I've seen on multiple occasions that she talks to several of these guys via text and private facebook messages. It bothers me, but I don't know how to bring it up. For the record, I trust that she would never cheat on me but I still don't like it. What's the best way to handle this situation? | My girlfriend talks to multiple guys on multiple forums and I don't like it. Any tips? |
t3_3osjav | relationships | I've [18M] has started university, my new friend [18M] is trying to hit on a girl [19F] i really like. He knows i like her, and said he wasn't flirting. What do i do? I don't wanna lose one of my only friends. | I started university about a month ago. I made a friend on my first day. A nice guy, I also kept my eye on a certain girl (Meg), so I started talking to her and everything started going well, until my friend, let's call him Redge, started hitting on Meg.
Whenever I'm with her, he's there. I've told him I like her, to which he replied saying that he'd never try anything... The annoying thing is that he's very close to a girl (Ellie) back at his previous home (circa uni home) and she's coming up next Friday, yet in the presence of the Meg, he refers to Ellie as a 'mate'.
What should I do? I don't want to lose my only friend on my course. But I also want him to know I'm not comfortable with his conduct. | new friend i made on my course is basically flirting with a girl i like. Is it worth losing a friend over a girl who may or may not be into me? |
t3_38pa5y | relationships | I'm [24f] obsessed with my boyfriend's [24M] ex-girlfriend [23f] | Hi there. Created a throwaway for this.
I'm obsessed and it's destroying me. Me and my bf are in a loving relationship. My jealousy is killing me.
Before I continue, I should refer a crucial detail: my previous relationship [29m] was very very abusive (verbally) and a lot of the abuse were because of his ex girlfriend. So I guess I kind of scarred from that. I was always compared in his mind and he got me to do stuff I didn't want to because his ex did and he played my jealousy agaisnt me.
My boyfriend loves me to death. He regrets his previous and only relationship before me (he's also my second boyfriend) as the girl is psychotic and, by now, has crumbled into drugs and terrible companies.
He is disgusted by her and by the fact that once he thought he loved her.
But I can't overcome my obsession. I stalk her online, as she has a lot of blogs. I check for updates at least twice a day. We live in the same area, so I'm always checking to see if I spot her. How can I overcome this? It's destroying my self confidence again. I'll answer any questions. But please, just help me. | I want to overcome my obsession. Please help me. |
t3_324i8m | relationships | Me [19 M] with [18 f] week, first date and panicking. Don't quite understand the norm for dating vs relationship. Help appreciated! | This is my first post here so sorry if it's horridly formatted or I miss something. Basically I met a girl on okcupid recently, we've really hit it off, and have been texting the entire week. I asked her on a date this weekend, she said yes. awesome! However I have no clue what the social norms are for something like this. I don't know what to call her if someone were to ask what we are, I don't know if it's normal for after a date to ask to turn it into a relationship, I don't know the words to use or if that's even a normal question. I know none of it. I'm terribly new to all of this and an really looking for some basic help do that I can maybe pull this off. I'm not too worried about the date itself, just how to handle the above and whether a kiss or hug upon the end of the date or if hugging at the begining is okay or any of it, I know it is pretty situational. But yeah. Sorry to be a deer in headlights right now but I'm just annoyingly nervous with this whole thing. | So, 19 year old that knows nothing of dating norms needs to be rescued by some assistance. Care to help? Thanks in advance to any serious assistance. |
t3_507tnk | tifu | TIFU by having soup for lunch. | So I decide to bring a nice big can of Campbell's Chunky chicken noodle soup to work today for lunch. Lunch time comes and I go to the lunch room and grab the can. It's one of those cans that has the little tab for your finger to grab and then you can pull the lid up.
So I'm pulling on the lid with my right hand and holding the can steady with the left. I guess my left hand was a little too high on the can because when I pulled the lid off, it ended up slicing my hand on the webbing between the thumb and pointer finger. The slice was probably almost half an inch deep. I could see flesh and what I think was a tendon or something. I run back to my desk and show my boss (he sits near me). His eyes widen and he says "Go to urgent care. Now!"
So I pack my stuff and drive to urgent care with my right hand on the wheel and my left gripping a wad of paper towels to keep pressure on the cut. I get to urgent care, fill out the paper work and sit, waiting for the doctor to call me from the waiting room. After about 5 minutes, I start getting light-headed. So I tell the front desk lady and they get to me right away. I end up getting 3 stitches in my hand and can get them removed in about 10 days. | Cut my hand opening a soup can. Had to leave work to get stitches. |
t3_1cmjdh | tifu | TIFU Might get expelled and will be watched for the rest of my life. | So a few days ago in last period we were just hanging out in the art room waiting for dismissal. Since I am the one who usually says random things to see peoples reaction (not to hurt anyone's feelings). I come up with the genius idea of going halfway across the room and sitting at the teachers table (only 10 kids in class so half the tables are empty) and saying I want to be a hitman or assassin. She says why and I say because my name implies it and she says "Then you should be a butcher". Then I say "No it means mass murder and that's what assassins do" then she says "OK... You know I have to tell the principal right?" and then I knew I was screwed so I just accepted it.
So the next day I go to first period and within a minute of me getting their security gets me and takes me to the principals office. I was in their for an hour and they searched and questioned me. I thought I was off the hook since we only talked about the incident for 5 minutes they left for half an hour (probably to search my locker and car), came back and said to not say things like that and sent me back to class.
Now that I got home my mom called and said the principal wants my mental health evaluated. I don't think I will be able to stay in school because I said this when tensions in the country are high. | Don't say stupid things hoping to get reactions. |
t3_1t1dlr | relationship_advice | I (19/m) don't want to be reminded of her (17/f) everyday. Is there a specific amount of time I should wait before I get rid of the old gifts? | My ex and I were together for two years and I saw myself getting married with her in the future. The road was bumpy for a while before we called it quits. She broke up with me because I was mad that she hung around guys and I wasn't even allowed to so much as talk to other girls. Although it was unfair, I knew I was not at wrong here.
She's moved on, not in the sense of finding someone else, but she hasn't talked to me in *well* over a month. I don't want to look like an ungrateful bastard by disposing of the things, but I feel like keeping them would only make things worse for me. I want to start the new year off on the right foot and look forward to the year, not look back two years back.
If it were up to me, I would keep the things forever, but there are some that are shirts and a framed picture of her and love notes. It honestly doesn't seem like the relationship mattered to her, so I don't want to be the guy who tries to force anything into happening. I've already tried to patch things up, but she's blocked me and changed her number and doesn't want anything to do with me. Please help. | I don't want to trash my ex's stuff, but I feel like keeping it will make me mope. I need advice on what to do. |
t3_1c0iay | AskReddit | What is something that happened to you that was so strange or surreal that you only fully processed it after it had happened? | The other day I was sitting in my car at a red light. There was a man entering the crosswalk to the left of me. He was wearing dirty clothes and walking very strangely (all hunched over and staggering). I'm assuming he was homeless. Instead of sticking to the crosswalk and walking in front of my car he veered off onto the road walking towards the back of my car. I assumed he was just cutting across to the sidewalk to save some time so I kept looking forward.
At the last second I got this really strange feeling that something was wrong so I looked behind me just in time to see his hand reach out and try my back-drivers side door. Thankfully it was locked. We made brief eye contact and he just sort of walked away.
The light turned green and I drove away. A minute or two later I kind of realized what had just happened. Did he just try to carjack me? Why the fuck didn't I react at all? I think the strangeness of the whole situation made it take a couple minutes to fully sink in. | Homeless guy tries to get in my back seat. I don't fully realize it until I'm a couple miles down the road. |
t3_10uqt9 | dating_advice | Male (22), Female (23), Is asking to come over for a 3rd date too soon? | Hey reddit, i've been going out with this girl for a bit now. We've been on 2 dates, and they were great. I was wondering is asking her to come over so I can cook her dinner acceptable for a third date? I'm a decent cook I can cook a good curry dinner, and I would say something along the lines of "Hey, how about I finally cook that curry dinner I have been telling you about?". Do you guys think asking her to come over for a 3rd date is too soon? Like I don't want her to think I am just trying to get in her pants, cause I am not. Is there a good way to phrase it? | Is asking a girl to come over for a 3rd date, too soon? |
t3_1q7ppt | relationships | Me [25 /F] being asked to apologize to woman [30 /F], for a short-lived emotional fling with her BF. | There's a guy I've worked with for about a year who I'm really attracted to, probably because we spend a lot of time together, he's incredibly smart, our interests are closely aligned, and my own long-term relationship was down the drain (officially over as of two days ago, but not the reason I'm here).
I went on a work trip with said coworker a week ago, during which time we talked about (a) we both are attracted to each other (b) nothing could ever happen for us to act on those feelings because that's crazy because we don't know each other and were both in relationships and (c) we hugged for a long time. Nothing happened after that. We went out to coffee during work hours a few times after we got back and talked through how we're both in weird situations, and the feelings we have probably aren't about us, but about our uncertainty about the relationships we were in. We decided to keep our distance. This was all decided within a few days.
It probably could have been fine and faded away, but (props to him), he spilled the beans about it to his girlfriend of 7 years and she is now demanding I meet face-to-face to apologize. What do I do?
My first reaction is that it's not going to bring any good. But if it's what it takes to make her feel better and make his relationship right, I'm of course going to do it.
I don't really know what to apologize for, though. I can't apologize for being attracted. I can probably apologize for telling him about it. I think she should respect the fact that he didn't act on any feelings he expressed. Do I apologize for hugging him? I just feel really awkward about the whole thing.
Advice please. | Exchanged admissions with a co-worker that we have feelings for each other. Didn't act on them. Decided to keep our distance. His gf still wants a face-to-face apology. What should I do? |
t3_ltgep | dating_advice | (21, Male) When people describe the kind of guy a girl wants I always thought "well that's awfully generalized." but I figure out how true it is a little more everyday. | I have nothing against any of the things I'm about to mention, They just aren't "me". Girls that are crazy about pink, guys in the service, shopping, who speak to everyone like they're talking to their dog "Fluffy", etc. I'm not the kind of guy they would have any interest in and I always thought that was fine because they aren't the kind of girl I would be interested in anyways. I always figured those girls had a specific kind of guy they are after. But I'm finding (from my experiences) that the guys these types of girls are after are the types of guys all girls are after anyways.
I thought it was something emphasized in/for movies and that there weren't as many girls like that as it seemed anyways, and that the other girls out there were looking for other kinds of guys. But it seems they are all looking for the same sort of guy regardless, and it's not me.
conclusion AND | If you're not the general, stereotypical kind of guy that it seems every girl wants (regardless of what "kind" of girl they are) what do you do? Play the part until you have their interest and slowly introduce your real self? It just sucks. |
t3_23zq0c | tifu | TIFU by likely ruining my life and my best friend's life as well | This monumental fuck up has been building up over the past few months and finally culminated today.
Some Back-story: in January I started my first semester of college, I started talking to this girl that I will refer to as "Jen". We both are 19 and live with our families, Jen however can't move out since her mother is a piece of shit that doesn't feel like raising all of Jen's siblings, so the responsibility falls on Jen.
We started hooking up, now normally that would be okay but not in her case. Her mother controls her whole life so, we had to sneak around before she had to go home. Having to do this lead us to start skipping class so we could hang out. We hit a rough patch when we both realized her mother would find out about us being together and called it off. I admittedly fell for Jen. Out of sadness, I began drinking Jack Daniels and smoking pot like I used to in High School. My family found out about this and were very upset because they thought I had quit that stuff. They threatened to throw me out.
The two of us stayed friends because our friends wanted us too. Jen told me she had never smoked pot before and wanted to try it, so I obligated and smoked with her for her first time. after that she disappeared for this past week and no one could find her.
Today: I get a message from Jen saying she wasn't coming back to campus because her mother took her phone and went through ALL of our messages and found out about us hooking up and me smoking with her. | I failed myself and a good friend out of college, got her barred from ever seeing me again or coming back to campus, and almost got myself thrown out. Moral of the story is stay in school and drugs actually are bad. |
t3_37q7xf | relationships | My girlfriend [21 F] hates my [23 M] painting | Back story: I went deep sea fishing in Cancun and caught the biggest fish of my life, a marlin, and released it back into the ocean. When I returned from vacation my ex girlfriend was so pissed that I didn't keep it and have it made into a wall trophy, so she painted me a really cool painting of the fish so I could have that instead.
Flash to now: I have been with my current girlfriend for a year and a half now. She told me yesterday that I need to either throw the painting away or make it go somewhere where she never has to see it.
She says that when she sees it, she only sees my ex. I only see the painting and remember the fish I caught, but I understand where she is coming from.
My question is, what should I do with the painting? I'd paint one similar and get rid of this one, but I'm not good enough to make one this nice. Any good ideas of places I can put it where she would mind less? | Girlfriend hates my painting. What should I do with it? |
t3_4ojz12 | relationships | Me [21 M] having troubles with my GF of a year+ [21], she keeps lying. | Before my GF and I got together I made it extremely clear that for me, the truth is extemely important. However in the last several months, it's become evident several times that she has/is lying about me to other people, as well as to me directly.
She says she lies (to me) because she is worried I'll get angry or whatnot. Yet the only time I've ever been angry at her is after the first time I found out a lie from her. I feel that I've proven, time and time again, that the truth won't anger me, yet lies will.
It's becoming extremely hard to stay with her. Everyday I consider leaving her, but I decide not to. What should I do? | GF lies; I believe in truth. What do? |
t3_2j87op | relationships | My (22/m) long distance SO didn't make anytime for me(24/f) this weekend and I don't know if it's the start of something more. | Hey Relationships,
So I'm in a long distance relationship with someone, I visited last weekend and this weekend it was thanksgiving so he came back to visit. I was with him the whole weekend but he made no time for us to be a lone.
We had thanksgiving with his family, went out partying one night with his friends and the other night his friends just showed up and hung out until two in the morning. The only alone time we got was when we had sex at night and i slept over. It's still a fairly new relationship and I feel like we definitely didn't move forward at all this weekend but almost took a step backwards.
Does this seem like something that will happen more often? I suppose the grown up thing would be to say something and tell him I'm hurt but I don't want the alone time to feel like I had to ask for it, and therfore less genuine. | Boyfriend didn't make any time for me this weekend. |
t3_rxl97 | AskReddit | What's the biggest lie that you've ever told? I'll start. | Mine isn't really that bad, but it has scarred me for life. In kindergarten, I had a friend named George. One day, I told George a funny (and inappropriate) song that I had heard somewhere. I don't really remember where I heard the song or why it was inappropriate, but remember, this was in kindergarten. So I'm pretty sure that it just said the word "stupid" or "butt" or something like that. However, at that age, we both thought that this song was hilarious. Anyway, I told him the song, and I specifically told him to NEVER tell it to anybody else, and especially not to tell people that he heard it from me. Well, later in the day, the teacher comes up to me, and she's holding a crying George by the arm. She screams, "PokeSalad! George was singing a song that was very inappropriate, and he said that you taught it to him! Is this true?!?" Through a ton of tears, George cried, "Yeah! Tell her, PokeSalad! Tell her that you taught it to me!" Without skipping a beat, I calmly reply, "Mrs. Derp, I have no idea what he's talking about." The teacher screamed at George, "I KNEW IT! YOU LIAR!" She then pulled him out of the room as he screamed in defiance. I honestly have no clue what happened to him, or where he is now..... | I told an inappropriate song to a classmate and then lied about ever telling it to him, which may have put his life in jeopardy from a crazy teacher. |
t3_48cmpo | relationship_advice | [23/m] About a week ago, I began dating one of my closest friends [22/f] of over 4 years. How fast is too fast to progress the relationship? | Let me just start by saying both of us feel totally comfortable saying that we love each other. In my heart, I feel I do and she has told me the same. We have been friends for years, and it was only just recently I finally managed to bring up the courage to progress our friendship to being in a relationship. We have been very clear with each other with communicating how we feel and what we want. It just felt natural for us to go from friends to best friends to being romantic partners. We had the intention of taking things slow, but there's quite a bit of sexual tension between us that makes that difficult. We've already made out once, there was some touching/fondling (clothes stayed on) but nothing past second base. We have both declared we are in love with each other (which I know on my end is true, and I don't in any way doubt her saying it either). At this point we have already talking about "how fast is too fast" for us, and we are conflicted over taking it slow because we don't want to ruin anything, versus just going for it because we don't care, we know how we feel about each other. I'm kind of in the mentality that we've been close friends for so long, I know how I feel about her, we already shared so much with each other even before I asked her out. It's been like a week and half, so I realize how crazy fast we have been going already, both by saying we're in love and with the desire for physical romance. But the thing is, it's not like we're dating to get to know each other, we already know and trust each other a lot. Would it be wrong or destructive to our relationship if we were to just let ourselves progress the relationship quickly? If anyone has any personal experience with something similar, or just has some good advice or thoughts on this, I would be very appreciative. | How fast is too fast to say "I love you" and become sexually active with the person you are in a relationship with if they are one of your best friends? |
t3_4upqn4 | relationships | How do you save a long distance relationship? | Me (20F) and my boyfriend (24M) have been in a long distance relationship for 2 years. We are still in the same country, but live about a 7 hour drive from each other. At first it was tough, I weeped all the way home the first time I left. Over time, it wasn't so tough. I still missed him of course.... I don't know.
I feel like we lost a spark, or it fizzled.
I feel like it's lost it's spark since I got a new job that is full time for me, and that means we don't get to see each other as often now that I have two jobs. I can't blame it on that I suppose, but maybe that contributed.
He admitted when I pulled him up on it that he did want to move in with me, he just didn't say it. I feel like if he mentioned it back then, things would be different now.
We kind of split up last night... And I initiated it. I don't know if I did the right thing or not. I'm very confused. He told me we could try and save it.. I just don't know how we could.
Sometimes I don't see a future with him, mainly because I don't think he's trying his best to get a job and I worry that we would never move in together, and that if he truly wanted to be mine for the rest of my life, he would have moved mountains to be with me right now... I feel like because of that, and that I don't particularly yearn for him when he's not around (which I thought was a good thing??) means it's not really all that special.
He really is very sweet, I said I couldn't see a future with him, but I can't quite imagine life without him yet. I know that's normal granted how long we've been together.. I just don't know. I feel hollow. | two year long distance relationship possibly fizzled and I initiated a breakup and now I don't know if this is the right thing to do. |
t3_3t96tv | relationships | Girl [26F] I've [25M] dated for a week is acting like we're in a committed relationship already | Granted, I'm not the kind of person who does the whole "we didn't talk about exclusivity so I can date and sleep around", but I've gone on like three dates with this girl. Granted, I was little more affectionate than I traditionally have been with new girls, but it felt good to be out with someone without worrying about anything for the first time in a while and I was horny out of my mind after not getting laid in a month. Honestly, the first date felt amazing, but then things got weird. I shouldn't have slept with her. I'm not the kind of person that gets attached that way, but I guess she is.
I won't go into too much detail on how she's acting like we're in a relationship, but it's just a bunch of cutesy stuff like telling me that she's thinking about me and that some guy hit on her but I shouldn't worry because she told him that she's taken. This might have been cute when I was a teenager, but it's creeping me out coming from a grown ass adult.
I was going to talk with her and try to calm this down, but now I think I might need to break up with her. And I know it's going to hurt her because she told me how happy I made her. A week in. What the fuck. I've gotten attached quickly before, but I've never been this bad even at my worst. | Girl I dated for a week is acting like we're in a committed relationship. It's strange and a turn off and I was going to say something but it's gotten to the point where I don't know if I can salvage any sort of interest. It's more of a deal than it should be because of things she's said, so it's going to hurt her. |
t3_3omlnf | relationships | I [m22] am suspicious of my SO [f22] about her heart transplant. | I have known her for almost two years and we have been seeing each other exclusively for 8 months now. Every once in a while she brings up some story that I find a little hard to be true. Heart transplant when she was 13 and no scar. Being shot in the arm yet still no scars. Allergic to peanuts but doesn't react when she accidentally eats something with peanuts in it.
I know she likes to keep secrets which is fine. She doesn't like anyone knowing her financial situation, etc.
My history: I had an SO a few years back who lied nonstop. She had all these different phobias that were incredibly uncommon. I confronted her about it and she admitted she made up lies to feel different and unique because she felt inadequate.
My current SO and I are moving in together soon and these doubts are starting to surface again. In my mind, if she is lying about this kind of stuff then what else is she going to keep from me.
I am going to confront her about this but I feel like I'm just neurotic and its all in my head. | I am suspicious that my SO has been making up stories in order to get pitty. I have an ex who did the same thing. I feel like I'm an asshole for doubting her. |
t3_3d7csz | relationships | My [21 M] sister [20 F] knows that I wacked off to her (or best case scenario, was looking at pictures of her naked). I have no idea how to confront her after this. | I was on GoneWild and there was a post of an attractive girl. It's GoneWild so many posters don't show their face. It was an IMGUR album. As I'm scrolling down through the pictures, I'm about to finish (wacking off) and as soon as I'm about to finish, I see my that this girl is my younger sister. A second after noticing it's her, I finish, and I'm just staring in shock at her / her face. I quickly put the phone away and just think, wow, shit.
I clean up. I'm still shocked. Whatever, it was a mistake. I continue my day. I've never looked at my sister ever in a sexual way before and this is super awkward for me.
During the evening, I'm in the living room spending time with my cousins. Me and my cousin decide we should go to a restaurant with the family tonight. I tell my sister to look up good restaurants in the area, so she grabs my phone from the table to search for good restaurants. I'm talking to my cousin and as I turn and look at my sister, I notice her face look a bit different just staring at my phone for a few seconds. As I saw her staring, I realized I forgot to close the GoneWild tab of her on my phone.
She puts my phone down and walks upstairs. I go and pick up my phone and see that the tab is now closed. We're going to the restaurant in a couple hours. I didn't see my sister yet after this. This is awkward as hell. How do I approach my sister? What should I say? I don't think we can even exchange eye contact normally right now. Before this, we had a really good relationship. | Saw pictures of my sister on GoneWild. Didn't know it was her because she didn't show her face (until the last image in the album). Wacked off to her accidentally. I was in shock and just put my phone away and cleaned up. In the evening, she used my phone (with my permission). |
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