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t3_2sc92b | relationships | Me [28 M] with my... sigh, Friend [25 F] for 4 years, suddenly realized i like her a lot more than i thought i did. | We met 4 years ago working together for a big company, around 9 months. After that we kept in touch and continued going to grab a beer or get something to eat, sometimes to a movie. (Always just the two of us and on a monthly basis)
I never tried anything nor she, mostly because we live far away and she/me were dating other people.
Bottom line, it's been 4 years, she has been without a boyfriend for 6 months and last friday night she invited me to go with her to a work related matter, a bar closed only to her co-workers because a friend of theirs is leaving to live in Europe. I wasn't given any opportunity to do something and if i fucked up, it would have been in front of her entire office, shitty situation for both (although, mostly for her).
Next day, when the beer effects were off, i realized i like her a lot more than i thought i did. Now i'm thinking of doing something, but here are my questions and what i think...
A) Am i too deep into the friendzone? (Definitely, most of my friends don't agree)
B) Should i just go all in or talk things out?
C) She is leaving for a 3 week trip to europe starting on February, should i just wait for her to comeback or do it right now? (Meaning next week or so) | Pretty much in love with a good friend of mine, thinking of telling her how i feel or straight up do something about it. Might be too deep into friendzone and she is leaving to europe for 3 weeks / |
t3_2kl59m | relationships | I(19) need advice on how to deal with this girl(20). | I'm 19, and this is the first time I've even talked to a girl my own age. We got matched up on Tinder, and chatted for about 4ish hours last night. At first we had a lot in common, so we exchanged numbers. At some point (almost out of nowhere) she asked me a bunch of sexual questions (am I a virgin, how big am I, etc.), I answered them and asked why she wanted to know. She replied "idk" and and asked for a picture. Today I asked her if you masturbated last night, because that was the only way to explain all the sexual stuff, to which she replied "no". Then I asked if she normally did that (masturbated) and she replied "no". So I then asked if she was a sexual person or not, and she said "not really". So, now I'm confused. | Why would a girl ask all these sexual questions if she isn't a very sexual person? |
t3_4zyd0x | relationships | Me [28F] with the guy i've been casually seeing [32 M] on and off for 3 years, dropped on me that he loves me and now its just..over | The title says it all! He moved away 6 months after we met but comes back home a few times a year. Anytime he is town we hang out and casually keep in contact when he is away. Ive always had feelings for him but never took it seriously because I always suspected that he was a commitment-phobe.. Anyways.. a couple weeks ago we had an amazing night and talked all night about how we have feelings for each other and dropped the L word. The next time I saw him, things were fine but we didn't really talk about it again. I texted him later that night saying shouldn't we talk about the other night and then he told me that since he doesn't live here, he doesn't know what to do or say and that it probably wouldn't work out and it's a weird situation. I haven't talked to him since... I need advice guys... what happened?! Why would he tell me that he loves me only for it to be meaningless? | Guy i've been casually seeing tells me that he loved me and then totally backed off. I don't understand. |
t3_3awvud | jobs | Really, genuinely, need advice to do with the 'psychology' of me not wanting to work | I look at work (any job) as just a form of doing something you/I don't want to do, with the obvious compensation that is money.
So all these businesses - I'll use a restaurant for example - are pointless in my view. All it is is me serving people food. I don't want to serve them, I couldn't care less about the job or customer satisfaction - perhaps almost like some form of a belief in anacism, that's to say I just want to stick to myself and I can take the lose of a bit of money for that luxury (of doing nothing and not having to work).
It's hard to articulate my feelings but essentially I don't want to work for anyone or provide a service to anyone because I, to put it bluntly don't care about people in wider society - I don't want to progress any thing/work for anyone/create anything/talk to or aid anyone or thing.
I just feel like this whole notion of; working and working hard = good is 'bs'. You're just (excuse the saying) "working for the man". I don't want to contribute to someone's fararri fund, in doing so.
I don't recognise the authority of the government or policing bodies (obviously they don't care about my opinion) and also I find it hard not to look around and see a lot of plebs in everyday life pottering along with their eyes 'firmly fixed on the ground'.
I don't really have any motivation or drive to do anything with my life and I don't really know what to do because I don't really see it as a bad thing, I would obviously like a nice income. I'm young, in the UK, and don't really(ish) have any qualifications. | don't like work, don't think it's good to want to work. Don't know what to do. |
t3_3c2ekc | relationships | I [23M] am having a tough time with a temporarily LDR with my girlfriend [22F] | It's a pretty simple situation honestly. My girlfriend of a little over a year left about 3 weeks ago for an excellent opportunity to do some professional work. She'll be gone for another month and a half. I know in terms of most long distance relationships, 2 months is hardly anything, but for some reason it's tough for me. The first couple weeks were completely fine for me though. I thought this whole thing would be a breeze, but it's been getting harder. It doesn't help that she hardly has any time to talk, and even when she does neither of us has too much to say. We usually have a 15-20 minute phone call every couple of days. Maybe that's fine and normal. I don't know. But this whole thing has really been weighing on me recently and I'm not sure what to do.
To add to that, there were some issues in our relationship that we weren't able to completely deal with before she left. These are things that I'm really worried may cause our relationship to end at some point in the future, like emotional unavailability on her part and a general feeling of lacking intimacy. So now I'm left thinking about a lot of those things and knowing I can't properly deal with them until she's back. It's a really shitty feeling.
I don't know if I really have a point with this post. I think I just needed somewhere to get my feelings out, and if someone feels they have some advice to help, that would be good too. | My girlfriend is away for 2 months and too busy to talk with me often. That combined with unresolved relationship issues is making it tough for me to deal with and not sure what to do. |
t3_sj2ul | AskReddit | Can you help me with a moral dilemma, AskReddit? | About a week ago I was at work as a chinese food delivery boy. I work in a very nice area, and have never had more than a rude customer. Anyways, I have an order and a pull up to a fairly nice house, walk to the door, ring the bell, and wait. A man who was maybe 35-40 answered the door, seeming very frantic. He was speaking quickly, and just seemed like he was in a rush. A few seconds after he opens the door I realize the whole house smells like weed. I thought it was kind of funny that this guy was high and ordering $80 worth of chinese food with no other cars in the driveway. But then I saw behind him his two kids. They were maybe 6 and 8. I didn't know what to do. I understand it's not like he was shooting heroin or smoking crack, but it just didn't seem right that he was smoking inside with his kids around, especially being so young. As far as I could tell, not even the mother was there.
Now, I didn't want to call the cops and possibly ruin this guy's, and his kids', lives, but I wanted to do *something*. Either tell him I can smell what he's doing, or tell him he should wait until his kids aren't around. Something. The kids seemed fine, maybe a little sullen, but not abused or anything so it definitely didn't warrant police intervention, but it still seemed wrong. After I left I called my mom and my best friend for advice and they both told me if the kids seemed ok not to do anything, but it's been bothering me. I admit I'm a little biased because I don't like weed, but not to the extent where I was going to report this guy. I was worried that one of his kids would get hurt and he wouldn't notice or realize how serious it was, or something like that. Should I have done something? | Delivered chinese food to a house where the dad was high/smoking weed in the house with his young children (6 and 8 I would guess) and didn't do anything. Should I have? |
t3_3bgbzm | tifu | TIFU by looking like a pervert | Let me set the stage. I am an older teenager who has both volunteered and worked with young children and those with special needs since I was about 13. I love it.
Now that I am older, I have a running joke with my friends that I only do it because many girls my age love the fact that I do so much with charity work (foreshadowing: this is important). In reality, I would do it if everyone else hated it, but hey I'm not complaining with my current situation.
So here I am teaching a camp for children roughly ages 4-9. One father comes in to drop off his son in the morning and begins talking to me. Now I have known him for several years, and am friends with his older step son. I know this man, but not casually. We still have a formal relationship.
So he drops off his younger son who is enrolled in my camp and begins talking to me about how my life is going and so on and so forth, and asks how the camp is going, to which I respond that it's going great! He then gives me this smile (which I percieved as sly and kinda joking) and says "A lot of girls huh?" I figured he was going along with the fact that teenage girls love a guy who knows how to get a crying 4 year old to start laughing in .5 seconds and respond "oh yah you know it" while doing a sort of Quaqmiry head shake.
* Boom *
He then stops dead for a minute and unceratianly response "Yah... there's uh.... not many boys in the camp is there...."
This man was referring to the fact that there were far more girls in the camp than boys. Needless to say, he quickly said bye and left after that. | got mistaken for a 7chan user |
t3_1t0yzb | relationships | Me [21 M] with my ex [21F] 9 years, No contact for about 4 days but I know I am probably going to hear from her on Friday. What do I do? | So for a while after we broke up and we were still hanging out. She asked me to enter a raffle for her bar she works because the amount of tickets she sold affects her Christmas bonus. I was an idiot and said "Sure i'll buy some! $25 worth!" (she suggested $50 and she would give me back $25((i am 99% sure she gave me the $25)) with the hopes that this may make her like me again, stupid I know.
Well we finally decided not to talk or hang out last Wednesday night. I told her about my hopes of us getting back together and said that it hurts to much to see her right now, especially with the new guy in the picture. So we agreed space would be the best route to either us ever getting back together or becoming friends again. She wanted to set a timer on it, like she said okay a week? Christmas? a month? after winter break? I said if she needs to set one for herself she can, but I don't want one. I said I wanted to talk once her feelings changed, not necessarily to be in love with me again but to where we could be friends again without her treating me weird, or once I felt i could handle this better.
This Friday is the raffle and I am going to be the only one who can open my raffle tickets, they are at her bar with my name on them and stuff. I know she will probably text me asking what to do. I don't know what to say back or what to do?
Also I gave her a Christmas present because i bought it before she broke up with me so she might try and contact me to say thanks. What would i do in that situation? | started no contact. Will most likely hear from her by the end of this week. What do I do? |
t3_3gq1mn | relationships | I (24F) hate my fiancé's (30M) vaporizer. Help me start a conversation/understand. | Before I met my fiancé he used to smoke, he quit using cigarettes and now uses his vaporizer instead, but it still has nicotine. A few months ago he said he was on track to be completely off nicotine by the summer. Well, summer has almost come and gone and he still uses it as much as ever. We recently moved in together for the first time and I think I'm noticing just how much he uses it. Every time he goes to the bathroom he vapes, he gets up 2-3 times during the night just to vape, he has to vape before getting in the car, etc. It's getting to a point where our bathroom smells awful.
Now, he's really embarrassed about his addiction to nicotine and he doesn't like to vape around me, which I think is good because it'll give him more incentive to quit. But since moving in together he's less self conscious about it and I catch him doing it a few times every day. If I don't see him, I can definitely smell it after. I don't know how to bring it up to him that this really bothers me. I don't know what the health ramifications are of vaporizers because they're so new and I keep reading conflicting studies. I don't understand how hard it is to quit nicotine because I've never even tried a cigarette. Plus he's so embarrassed about his habit, I don't want to hurt him by telling him I hate it. Please help. | fiancé uses a vaporizer too much and I don't know how to start a conversation with him about it |
t3_410pqq | tifu | TIFU by changing a flat without reading the manual. | Happened today, about 30 min ago.
My moms car which has been sitting in the garage for the past few weeks has a flat. My mom has changed a tire once before a long time ago, and i never have. Needless to say we tried to go at it without doing due diligence and research. My mom starts jacking the car up and i start to notice the body work on the car bowing out and realize she put the jack in the wrong spot. Now the body work on the car is bend out [] . This may not look that bad, but my mom is devastated. We now have just decided to call roadside assistance. A task that should have been fairly straight forward had we looked things up now will end up being quite costly in repairs to the body work. | Jacked car up, ruined part of the body work. |
t3_t7uj8 | dating_advice | If only i knew if he felt the same way... | First I would like to say I'm really really sorry if this is in the wrong spot. Second, I don't know what I want to accomplish this. I think mainly I just want to get this off my chest. At this point I don't think there is too much I can do about the situation.
For the past couple of months I have found myself wrestling with the thought trying to find if he likes me too. Trying to find something that would give me a clear idea of where his feelings stand. Unfortunately, every time I think I do and want to say something. I get that moment of doubt by a new interaction with him. So I've never said anything and I try not to let my feelings show which I don't know how well I have done at hiding or showing them.
I know many of them would say just go for it. What's there to lose? Well nothing when I actually think about it. Thing is now I have stalled so long that I'm leaving in a week and may never see him again. Why didn't I say something earlier? Well I have to see him every day because I work with him. Which I have that little voice in my head screaming "You don't date coworkers!" Then the other half of my brain is saying doesn't listen. You are leaving soon and if you don't ask you will never know. Well If I said something that could have leaded to a couple of uncomfortable months and no way to avoid him. | I have feelings for a guy and I have no idea if he feels the same |
t3_3mtyai | Pets | I recently lost one of my two kitties, and would like some advice about my surviving kitty | Hey r/pets! So Saturday I suddenly lost one of my two cats and a very young age. My other cat, Cerberus, is a very intelligent kitty, I feel comfortable saying this because I'm willing to admit my other cat was a really dumb sweetheart. Anyway, it has only been a few days, but Cerbs wanders around the apartment just looking and checks out every little noise he hears. I work 8-5 and I was wondering if you any of you have found engaging puzzle toys for cats. I just feel like I need to find something to occupy his time, now that his play buddy isn't there. I try to spend a lot of time at home, and am considering getting a fish tank with some colorful little guys (obviously the fish would also be treated with the utmost care and would be a permanent addition). The Boyfriend and I are planning on moving in together in the spring and he has two large dogs that Cerberus is pretty familiar with, so I just feel like trying to add a second cat back into the mix before then is going to be a stress-mess and possibly unnecessary since one of the dogs use to play with Cerberus regularly when visiting. We are also looking into reintroducing the dogs and Cerberus slowly before we move in together. | My cat died, my other cat seems depressed and bored, I have long term solutions, but right now how can I fill his time during the times when I can't be there? |
t3_j3woa | relationships | Is it weird that my bf wants to move in the same complex where his ex used to live? | Background: I've been with him for 1.5 years. The girl who he was with before me had a boyfriend in the army and was cheating with my bf. They fell in love with each other and then she moved away and they basically stopped seeing each other over that and no other reason. They acted affectionate toward each other and like nothing had ever happened in the beginning of me and my bf's relationship. I told him it made me uncomfortable and he got really mad at me and wanted me to befriend her. She lied to me about things and befriending her just made me trust her less. They continued to be affectionate and the whole thing ate at me for months. I felt like I couldn't say anything because he still cared about her and he'd resent me if I asked him to get rid of her. The whole thing sucked. I finally said something and he deleted/blocked her on everything but refused to talk about it and would get really angry when I attempted to talk about it.
Now: We were almost at this complex and I put two and two together and asked if it was where she lived. We ended up getting in a huge fight. He was enraged at me. I said the whole thing was weird and he had all these memories of her there and she had been an extremely painful aspect of our relationship. He gave me the opportunity to talk where I just said it felt like he was still in love with her and he said he was only in love with me and cut her out for me. That he only liked her as a friend.
We saw the complex and it was perfect financially, location, amenities, etc. and just made perfect sense to live there so I agreed. We signed the lease. I still feel weird that out of all the places to live he wanted to live here and it eats at me a little. Am I being irrational? | just see title. The rest is extraneous anyway. |
t3_1ag8bl | relationships | [24 f] with boyfriend [25 m] for four years, and fine with not getting married... but other people can't get over it. | I have been with my boyfriend for four years. It's a solid, stable, healthy relationship and he is great. We still feel like we're in the early stages of a relationship, with all the sex, giggling, playfulness to match. Basically, lots of happiness.
We're both in graduate school pursuing difficult fields that we love, and we're both rather poverty stricken. Our parents don't financially support us in any way (a lot our friends seem to have parents who do... it seems common for our very expensive city.) So we struggle by the best we can.
We don't talk about marriage much except in fantasy terms now and then, and my boyfriend has made it clear the reason he won't propose anytime soon is because he simply doesn't have the money for a ring or to support a stable lifestyle of another human being, or if we were to decide to have a kid. Also we can't afford to get married unless we were to go to a courtroom kind of ceremony, and we both fantasize about at least a decently nice wedding with our friends and family.
I am fine with it except occasionally I get paranoid about it... because every now and then, I have female friends who will say things like "No ring after four years? Wow... I wouldn't do it, but... I mean you must be really secure in your relationship to put up with that." Pretty much EVERYONE I know who has been in a relationship for longer than two years seems to get engaged right away. I know half these marriages will end in divorce (just plain fact) but sometimes I start to get nervous that, am I being "stupid" for not wanting him to marry me after such a long time together?
Basically, often acquaintances or friends will seem to suggest that he must be stringing me along for having not proposed after this long.
I'd be interested to hear if anyone else has been in longterm relationships or just has advice about how to handle comments like this, or if I should be worried at all...
[ | Longterm boyfriend and I have no plans to get married anytime soon. Friends/acquaintances seem to say we are odd or that he's stringing me along.] |
t3_3884lu | relationships | Me (21F) wanting to surprise my SO (23M) with a threesome-any words of wisdom? | I've been with my boyfriend for about 8 months and things with him are mostly wonderful! We have a lot of (great) sex, and we're both very into trying new things together. I know he's had threesomes before, and it's something he's really interested in doing again.
Coincidentally, I also get off on the idea of introducing someone else into the bedroom, though I've never done it.
I do have some reservations, and have told him such. I don't want this to ruin regular sex for him, I don't want it to be something we do every week or even every month. I certainly don't want him to have any contact whatsoever with the other person outside of the event in the bedroom. He knows all of this and is in agreement and assures me that in the past, it hasn't effected his sex life with his partner day to day. He also said the thought of watching me with someone else (female) is more appealing than actually doing anything himself (though I wouldn't make that a requirement).
He currently does not know how strongly I am considering the idea (it comes up once in a blue moon and yesterday he said he doesn't expect it to happen with me given some statements I made at the beginning of our relationship)... but the thing is, prior to that statement, I'd been considering setting up a threesome for him for his birthday (complete with Slave Leia costumes hahah).
My plan would be to find someone neither of us know, and they would have no means to contact each other after this.
Now I'm just looking for anecdotal advice or thoughts from others who have tried it. So.... thoughts/opinions/stories...GO! | 21f wants to surprise 23m with a threesome for his birthday (with Slave Leia costumes). Have set up some ground rules, now just looking for personal experiences and advice. |
t3_2e6umb | relationships | Is this fair | Three bedroom house:
Three people: myself [F31], the kid 2.5[f], the boyfriend[M39]. We've been dating over a year.
The kid and I moved into my boyfriend's place. Rent is $1648. The kid and I share one bedroom (the master) and pay $800 a month. My boyfriend pays the remaining $848 and occupies the other two bedrooms. He also pays the utilities.
My boyfriend never cleans. He doesn't buy groceries. I do both of those things and cook him breakfast every morning and sometimes dinner.
The child is moving out really soon. When she does, would it be fair to ask my boyfriend to start paying 2/3 of the rent? I will only occupy 1/3 which will be my bedroom. I will still continue to purchase groceries and cook for his ass as usual. Am I being unfair to ask such a thing? Since he doesn't pay for shit in the house. | My boyfriend doesn't help out around the 3bd house, we have separate bedrooms. Should I get reduced rent since he has two rooms and never buys food or clean? |
t3_2g9khg | relationships | Me [31 F] with my coworker [40 F] Problem with gossip at new job, cross-cultural situation (Native American & white) | I am a 31/F (white) and I recently started working with a non-profit organization as a consultant. Most of my coworkers are Native American (Tribally enrolled members) and I enjoy working within the organization. There are 7 people in our office.
One of my new coworkers is 40-ish/F (Native American). She's come up to my desk daily, sometimes multiple times, and drops some pretty nasty gossip about our boss. The boss happens to be main reason I have my position and I am much more loyal to her (boss) than my coworker. My coworker is extremely volatile. She's going through stuff with her family, which I understand can be a burden.
I have ignored my coworker's comments or changed the subject - mostly trying to remain neutral because I figured she was blowing off steam. I resonded with, "That sounds really frustrating." and "Have you tried to communicate with [boss] about that?"
Today I asked her, "Why are you telling me this?" when she dropped some nasty comments about additional coworkers (who happens to be one of my best friends). She looked a bit put off and said, "I just thought I'd tell you." then walked away.
I have not repeated anything she's told me. I try my best to be positive, trustworthy, and respectful.
I'd appreciate some advice/insight about this situation, particularly working with Native Americans. | How can I handle a gossiping coworker in a cross-cultural office? |
t3_2mg9ud | relationships | Should I (40F) just give up on 12 month relationship with my BF (38M)? I have serious hang-ups apparently. | I am so very inexperienced at everything. It is embarrassing to be 40 and so inexperienced. I have only had 3 sexual partners, and only 3 serious relationships.
My BF (who I truly enjoy) is the exact opposite of me. Many relationships (including 2 marriages). And a very large amount of sexual partners. Lots of experience in all kinds of areas.
For whatever reason, this causes me stress when it comes to sex. We have been together 1 year (casually together), but have only had sex maybe once a month. I find it difficult to relax. I don't know why exactly, but I just feel totally inadequate sexually. This is me -- he hasn't done anything wrong. I'm just not used to anything. He mentioned that he prefers clean-shaven (and until then I have never shaven at all). I am inexperienced with many "acts" and I am just nervous still.
I've tried talking to him, but since he's not doing anything wrong, he is just getting very frustrated with me. He says he needs sex in his life on a regular basis, so if I'm not interested in him that way, he needs to know so he can be free to have sex with other people. THIS CRUSHES ME. I want him so much, and I do love having sex with him. I'm so attracted to him. I just cannot relax, and his past freaks me out. He's had sex with several people I know. He's had 3somes and lots and lots of casual sex. Not sure why that should matter, but it does.
Since I cannot make him happy and I just end up feeling highly frustrated and guilty myself, I'm thinking I should just give up and let him go be happy. :( | I have a lot of sexual anxiety with BF and am thinking of letting him go because I cannot satisfy him. |
t3_u30fb | AskReddit | What do you do when customer service just won't help! | I just had an awful experience with LivingSocial customer service. Here's the situation - We have a large group that wants to purchase an event together and it sells out half way through. There is no indication on the website of how many spots are left, we clearly picked the wrong day. There are multiple days though for the event so I called and simply asked if we can just transfer the people from one day to the next. She says - Nope. Why? It's in the fine print. IN THE FINE PRINT! That's your answer! There is such an obvious solution and an easy fix, why can't you help! I ask for the manager. She says - It's in the fine print....We have 10 more people that want to buy your product! Help us out! All she says is I wish I could. I say can we at least refund it and all buy again on a different day? Well there is a 24 hr return policy and a few of my friends are already over the 24 hrs so no go. So half my friends are stuck going now and the other half of us are so turned off we don't even want to go. | Isn't it better for your company to make an exception if its an easy fix, satisfies the customers needs and gets you more sales? |
t3_gfw5x | Cooking | Is there a way to develop a liking for ingredients that you hate? | Call me a freak of nature, but whenever I try to eat any sort of food with a detectable level of vinegar (mayonaise, salad dressings, etc.) My mouth contorts as if I just put a warhead in there and I feel like throwing up, especially as the meal progresses if I'm still trying to eat it if a relative worked hard making it, etc.
And when looking for recipes I always find ones that look good but then I realize has these cursed ingredients and so I have to look for something else. I know I'm missing out on a lot because so many recipes use it, and so many people love it, but I just can't stomach it, and it's such a common ingredient that it's a constant concern.
Do I just need to man up and drink a cup of vinegar straight every day to get over it or what? Anyone else have strange picky habits when it comes to ingredients in food?
( | Somehow my tongue has been programmed that sour=pure evil. Help!) |
t3_12fxm4 | relationships | Ex's mother wants to talk to me about breakup.. how should I respond? | EDIT: HEY GUYS! Thanks a lot! She called and I took it. We got it sorted out. It was a sudden spur but I really appreciate the advice you gave here. IDK how to change the title, but I guess it's been resolved. Just so you know, it turns out she's been telling her mom that she still hangs out with me... and that we officially broke up yest hence why her mom called.
M-27, here with ex-F22. I posted a while back about my ex whom i had communications issue with. Long story short, we're clearly separated although we did not have an official breakup. We just stopped contacting one another and left it at that.
I've met with her family a few times so he mother got my phone number because my ex used it to call her once.
It's been some 4-5 months since then. Her mother just texted me asking about what happened. I replied that it didn't work out and that I was sorry but she wants to call me later.
I'm a little nervous to be honest, and all the same, I don't want to make life difficult for either parties here.
I'm not sure what my ex has told her mom, and I don't want to say anything that might incriminate her, simply out of respect for her mother.
I know that I'm completely over her, but I don't know how to say this in a nicer way to her mom.
I also do not know how to explain our breakup.. it started with a seemingly small fight that just never reached a conclusion.
Is there any way I can get out of this without seeming like an asshole? | ex's mom wants to call me, i'm nervous. |
t3_17vc39 | BreakUps | I'm[26T] concerned about my [30F]Ex. | So, me and my ex separated mutually two weeks ago. There wasn't any anger or animosity. There wasn't a huge fight. It was simply over and we both accepted it, so I moved out.
The last few days I've been cleaning out my phone and coming across pictures I had taken of her, and some she had taken of herself.
I've kept them because I've noticed something.
In the last two months of my relationship she physically has aged. When we started dating 6-7 months ago she looked probably 5-8 years younger than she does now.
I don't know what could have caused this change in her, but I still care about her and I'm concerned it might be chemical or stress related. And I'm wondering if that stress could have been what led to the degradation of our relationship.
I'm not really trying to grasp at any possible hopes, I know the relationships over, and I've moved on to seeing other people already. I could never go back to her now that I've experienced what I've experienced with a new paramour.
I'm just concerned about her, even though our relationship is over I do still love her, like a brother or sister loves their sibling. We experianced so many things together that I feel bonded to her in a non-romantic, non-sexual way. So when I have mutual friends come to me and tell me they hadn't even recognized her. That she was completely different to the point of having been confused about who this random person was trying to talk to them.... Well that concerns me.
Sadly, I've made up my mind that I'd give her 6 months before I would try and re-initiate contact as a means of keeping a friendship between us. Let us both relax some post-breakup. But If I hear another random mutual friend tell me the same thing I'm just going to get more concerned, and not sure what to do. | Ex has apparently physically aged a drastic amount in the last month causing me to be concerned with her well being both mentally and physically. Concerned the breakup might have been more stressful for her than it had been for me, and afraid that there might been a chemical/medication issue affecting her. Not sure how to do with constantly being told that she has changed. |
t3_1k52jy | relationships | My (20M) GF (23F) is madly in love with me but practically smothers me. Then I feel guilty for suggesting other things. | So my SO of one year is crazy in love with me, and I love her too, but she is obsessed with what you'd call "teen love" stuff. And its starting to make me dread her coming home. I work early so I'm home first, and once she gets home she eats and/or studies for an hour. Then all eyes are on me. She wants to just lay down and cuddle, or make out, or cuddle and watch a movie, etc.
Don't get me wrong I love doing it but its gotten to the point where I feel like I have to get everything done for the day before she gets home (2-3 hours) otherwise I'll have to pass on cuddling then she mopes and gets upset.
I don't know what to do to talk to her about it or if I should let it go or what. The relationship as a while has a lot going on but this is just the primary thing. | My SO constantly wants to cuddle/make out/ watch movies from when she's home till bed. And I feel guilty when I don't cause she mopes. |
t3_u8igf | AskReddit | My mum is heavily overweight, single and seems to have no will to change these things since my father left. Please help reddit | So im going to be honest, im not too sure what to do. My mum is a 49 year old female, who probably weights 25 stone or so, being 5'10 this is heavily overweight for her size and it is starting to get to the point that i dont know what i can do to help her lose this weight. 6 years ago my father left for a younger woman, following some failed boyfriends my mum has decided she would prefer to avoid the heartache and be alone, this would be okay if it didnt also affect my mums will to lose weight. She used to be incredibly thin, but since her late 20's she has just got bigger and bigger. Im not the thinnest guy myself, but my problem is that i know serious weight issues become a bigger problem the older you become, and i have highly paranoid fears that diabetes, high blood pressure or any number of physical illnesses may hit my mum if she doesn't change her behaviour. I feel that if i or someone can help her lose weight she will feel alot less depressed in herself, but other than recommend gyms and going on a diet (in a considerate way ofc) i genuinely dont know what to do to motivate her. | My mum is heavily overweight depressed and single, how do i motivate her to lose this weight? |
t3_2rouae | relationships | I'm 21F and new to the US. Need advice on how to talk to guys here | Guys have come up to me to start conversations, but I never really know if they're interested or just being nice. I came from a country where people don't really approach strangers in public, so maybe I'm just not used to friendly people in public and overthink it.
Recently, I was approached by a guy while in a bookstore as I was looking through some web dev books. He went on to talk about himself that he's a CS major in this university, that he works on some projects for that company, and even showed me his Github. We mainly talked about the joys of programming and he suggested some books for me. I became really nervous suddenly after a couple of minutes so I thanked him and walked away. I didn't understand why I was smiling so hard while walking back to my table. I guess you could say I developed a crush.
My sister, who saw us talking, later told me she's seen the guy a couple of times hanging around the bookstore we went to. I haven't gone to bookstore since, and I'm afraid if I see him again I wouldn't know how to randomly start conversation.
So I guess what I'm asking for is your advice on how I should go about talking to him? This would probably the first time ever that I'm attempting to start conversation with a guy so I am nervous just thinking about it. I tend to panic while talking to people, let alone crushes, so any suggestions on how to fight that back? Thanks! | I'm girl who wants to talk to this guy again but I'm shy and clueless |
t3_oiv5f | relationship_advice | Can't get over a stupid small thing my boyfriend said. Would appreciate it being put in perspective. | We are both 26 and we've been together for about a year and a half. This is gonna contain spoilers, and yes I realize how trivial this already sounds considering it involves movie spoilers.
We watched Girl With the Dragon Tattoo the other day, and last night he said something along the lines of, "I'm not saying she deserved to be raped but Rooney Mara was kind of a whore. She didn't have to suck that guy's dick" (referring to the character's guardian, who demanded a blowjob). This unnerved me because he is very intelligent and has seen the Swedish version, too, so I don't think he just misinterpreted the scene.
I disagreed and told him why, to which he responded "I guess." When I told him it bothered me that he thought that, he apologized and said he had just misworded things. I think normally I would just brush it off as miscommunication but this isn't the first time he's said weirdly judgmental things before, especially relating to girls/sex. That, and he seemed to become apologetic when he probably thought there was an impending fight, not when I told him all the reasons I thought it was not someone's fault if a person of authority coerces him/her into sex in exchange for something he/she needs to live or function.
We've had divergent opinions on a number of things and even if we argued heatedly about them at the time, it's never truly bothered me knowing that he has different opinions on certain things like politics, life, etc; it's definitely never made me feel so uncomfortable or made me feel bothered so long after the fact. He is an amazing person and boyfriend and I think I might just be somewhat paranoid because of past experiences I've had with people who have expressed similar sentiments, so if you can offer a reality check I would appreciate it greatly. | my bf called a fictional character a whore for blowing her guardian, it makes me feel weird even though I know it's pretty insignificant |
t3_492mav | relationships | Me [23 F] with my [29 F] work friend who doesn't want to date but does everything with me | Some 8 months ago a senior member at my work began a close friendship with me. He pursued me and we ended up sleeping together.
I heard little from him the two months after sleeping with him. He eventually ended up explaining to me that he was still troubled after his last relationship (things ended badly) and that he's not interested in a relationship. We ended up sleeping together again some weeks afterwards.
Since then it has been a confusing state of affairs with him confiding in me, giving me the keys to his house, and doing recreational stuff together like watching movies, walking the dogs together, buying each other stuff.
I really don't know what to think, or where to go from here. | Became close with work friend. Doesn't want to date but wants to do things together |
t3_1sy23n | relationships | Me [27M] with my Mother [mid-50s], She has a very unhealthy lifestyle and a bad back and won't listen to the people who care for her. | I'll try to be brief and to the point
My mom has a history of back problems (herniated disks mostly) that has plagued her for about 15 years. Over the years her activity level has diminished greatly, and her health has suffered because of it. Recently (last 6 months) she has picked up some horrid eating habits and has really started packing on weight.
My brother and I try to talk to her about taking care of herself, but she just shuts down and then will turn to food to comfort herself. She says that she wants to be healthy and live a healthy lifestyle but her actions do not reflect this in the slightest.
We have seen some very small positive steps at times, but they are usually brief and misguided. For example, one week she ate salads for dinner every night, but in the process she went through 3 full packs of bacon and 1 huge bag of cheese plus ranch dressing.
My brother and I have tried different ways of talking with her about health. We try to have discussions with her but she shuts down and refuses to participate. We try to talk to each other when she's in the room but she will leave. We try to talk to my dad about it, and he recognizes that there is a problem but won't have an up front and honest talk with her about it. She is getting to the point where she won't go to a doctor because she's terrified of how bad her health is getting.
It is at a point where I fear for her well being. If she continues on this path she will be in a wheelchair in just a few years. Her back is only going to amplify her weight issue.
I want 25 more good years with my mom, Not 10 more where she's unhappy and immobile and killing herself with her diet. | Mom is stuck in a cycle of low activity and bad diet. Her health problems are amplified by her bad back. She won't listen or take suggestions from those that care for her. What can I/we do to help? |
t3_cokrz | AskReddit | My cat is slowly dying. Should I help him die? | I'm 31 and I've had this cat since my high school days, when I got him as a feral adult. He's got to be 15 or 16 years old; I can't be sure, since I got him when he was an adult and feral cat.
He's always been an outdoor cat, and for the last 2 weeks he's been going outside in the morning and sleeping, than coming in at night. It got to the point a few days ago where I was carrying him outside in the morning and inside as night approached.
Now, he is inside (so no wild animal will eat him). He has 3 different beds side by side. He has water, milk, dry food and wet food next to him, as well as me going to visit him every two hours to spoon feed him. His litter box is right next to the beds, and it is clean. He has fresh catnip from the graden a few cat paces away.
Yet, he does not move. Sometime when I am not looking he does poop, and he does eat a little bit.
I would put him down, but I believe he deserves more than a stressful shoving into a cage, than a stressful car ride, than weird people touching him. I also believe that animals "know" how to die to a degree.
I respect that an animal will find a fern or branch or hiding spot to go lie down in, and then die. That is what they do and ggood on them.
Now my cat is in my basement, which is furnished and where he spent last winter. He barely moves and will dies oon. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in the next hour, maybe he died while I post.
He seems to be in no pain (if he were in pain I would take him to be put down).
Should I kill him? I own no gun, but I was thinking I could take him outside where he likes, then just kill him in in the most humane way possible. Quick, painless - much better than a car ride to the vet. | Should I personally kill my cat, or should I put him through the stress of a cat carrier, strange hands and a syringe, or should I just let him die? |
t3_327tpl | relationships | I (F21)have discovered some shitty information on my friends (F21) boyfriend (M22) | Basically I have known this girl we'll call Mia since school and while we aren't overly close we are still friends. About 2 years ago she started dating one of my boyfriends close friends who we'll call Ben.
Through my boyfriend I have found out that Ben has cheated on Mia four times with four different people. The last time it happened I seen Ben openly flirting with the girl but that was all I saw the rest I heard from my boyfriend after Ben told his friends what had happened.
My question is do I tell Mia? She doesn't deserve this (not that anyone does) and I know I'd want to know but there's no way to know if she would. And I don't have any proof to show her so I don't know what to do. Also my boyfriend would kill me for telling her as I only know because he told me what Ben had said and showed me his messages bragging about cheating, but I don't want my boyfriend to hate me and not trust me. | friends boyfriend is cheating, only know through my boyfriend telling me. Do I tell the girl and risk my boyfriends trust or just leave it? |
t3_23u8nk | relationships | [Relationship] I (17/M) am confused on if I want to break up with my girlfriend (17/F) | So, my girlfriend and I have been going out for almost 3 months. We're both in high school, but we go to different schools. We see each other about twice a month, which is weird considering were not far from each other, we're both just really busy.
Lately, I've been missing the single life. I'm moving to a different state for college in August and I kind of just want to have fun and fuck around (literally and metaphorically) and not have to worry about a girlfriend for the last couple months I'm here.
But, at the same time, thinking about breaking up with her kills me. Not having her around and not being able to talk to her or anything like that, it makes me really sad just thinking about it.
I mean, when and if we see each other, it's amazing. No sex, but we're still intimate and I think we communicate better than a lot of other couples especially for high school relationships.
But as soon as she leaves, I want so badly to talk to other girls. To do what I want. To not have to talk to her. /r/relationships, I'm really confused.
Is this just hormones? Is it because I don't see her enough? | I want to break up with my girlfriend but at the same time I don't. Things are great when we're together, but I miss the single life so badly when we're apart. |
t3_w34ma | AskReddit | Advice needed on selling simple website design service | I have made a few websites for friends' business ventures and a couple of small business websites off the back of those. I work in wordpress.
I made a site for a small business and they were happy with the results and recommended me to someone else. I have a portfolio of previous work to show them so all is good.
Ideally, now i want my own website which i am about to work on but just wondering if someone can give me some pointers on how to sell to a customer that isn't by word of month. i.e. how do i sell myself? how do i know what to charge? do i ask them what their budget is and then make it accordingly. Do i offer updates to the site for free or do i charge extra?
Most of the sites i build are 5 pages max and include a contact form, a blog, a comment system (dispus!) and social media feeds and integration. I have also created a buddy-press based site.
I am not looking to take this up as my fulltime job (20 hours a week maybe) as i work part time currently.
Sorry if this is cheeky or anything.. | i wanna start making websites for cash - no idea where to start! |
t3_411d8h | tifu | TIFU by letting my friends near a lemon tree | Ok, this didn't happen today, but a couple of weekends ago. So I invited all my friends over for a surprise birthday for my older brother. Things got kinda hot because there was about 10-11 of us and it's kind of a small house. So we all pour out into the backyard, and my friends find the lemon tree. Because I live in northern California, everything blooms in the winter. So the lemon tree is heavy with lemons, and my friends want to see if cars will run them over. They throw a bunch of lemons over the backyard wall, then run onto the street to get a better aim. (We still have too many lemons, so I don't care.) So they start chucking them all over the street and hiding behind some bushes to watch them get run over. (I have weird friends.) So one of them accidentally hits a car, and they all run inside cackling like hyenas. We all watch from the window as the guy who's car we hit slowly pulls up into my small housing complex. We quickly lock the door, close the curtains and turn off the lights so it looks like no one is home. He knocks and rings the doorbell for about 5 minutes, then walks away. Whoops! | My friends found my lemon tree, started chucking lemons on street to watch them get run over, hit a car and almost got caught. |
t3_14uw7h | AskReddit | Left number on girl from classes car and now texting. | I left my number on a girl from class's car. We talked everyday and flirt and I asked her out when we were talking. I asked if she wanted to go out sometime and she said yes. I asked for this weekend and she gave a legitimate reason for being busy. How long should I wait and what should I say/do when making a second attempt? I am thinking I will call and ask her to something casual. There is a pro basketball game this next week that she is a fan of one team and I am a fan of the other. Is that too big of a first date? Just looking for a little advice so I'll take what I can get. | How long should I wait to ask a girl out that said yes to hanging out but had immediate plans for first attempt? |
t3_2sfv4y | relationships | How do I (25/f) show him (2?/m) that I'm interested? | So I met a really cool guy in my physics class. I'm pretty sure he's younger than me, but we get along pretty well, so whatevs.
We've seen each other three times in class now, and last night we ended up hanging out in his car in the parking lot till midnight, talking and laughing our asses off.
I want to somehow convey that I'm attracted to him without being too over the top, like I usually am. Typically I'd just tell a guy I'm attracted to him, and ask him out, but the last few times I've done that they freaked out and stopped talking to me. I've gathered at this point that men do not appreciate directness, and perceive it as desperation/clinginess.
I also don't know him super well yet, so I want to somehow convey that I'd like to get to know him better *but not just as a friend*.
My issue is that I'm a complete clod when it comes to the feminine art of subtlety. So my question to guys is;
What expressions of interest freak you out and what expressions of interest pique your interest?
My question for the ladies is;
What expressions of interest have worked for you? | halp |
t3_1puwsr | relationships | I [23M] met this amazing girl [20F] a month or so ago. I confessed my feelings and it didn't go well. | We went on a date a month or so ago. A week ago we went on a roadtrip only the two of us. She's leaving for a long trip (as in I won't probably see her again for a couple of years) in a few days and she literally said "it would have never worked. Sorry, but I can't control my feelings". She also said she doesn't like quick things and that it isn't her style. I said okay and we're in good terms. I'm not seeking her anymore but I would like to know what she meant by that. Did she reject because of her trip? I wonder if she would have rejected me either way.
I won't press the issue with her anymore since I don't want to jeopardize our friendship. | what did she meant by "it would have never worked"? |
t3_3htxak | relationships | I [20 M] had sex with my third cousin [16 F] over summer. We both want a relationship when she graduates in a few months. | My third cousin was visiting my family for the summer because of troubles at home. I'd never met her before this, regardless of her being a distant relative. I'd been staying at the place where she was staying for the summer so we spent a ton of time together.
During the last month of summer we started dating because we were both interested in eachother. We ended up having sex a week before she left. I was a virgin, she was not. (16 is legal in both of the states she lives in) we had a great time and spent the last week cuddling and talking before she went back home.
We both still talk to each other, a few weeks later, on the phone. We plan on meeting again when she turns 17 and graduates. She's currently not in public school anymore and is really mature for her age. (More mature then me) I read everywhere that 16 is too young for someone my age because of the differences in highschool/college students. I don't know if I'm "taking advantage of her" when I didn't pressure her into anything and we mutually agreed to everything. She takes all of her classes online and is working on getting a job so I don't feel she is mentally 16.
I really like her and we have a great time together, but I fear for what her family would think if they knew about what was happening. I guess I'm just looking for opinions on the relationship and if it is healthy or am I somehow actually taking advantage of her. | My third cousin [16] and I [20] hit it off over summer and plan on dating in a few months when she graduates at 17. Am I taking advantage of her without knowing it? |
t3_zy1er | AskReddit | My friend is obsessed with this girl. How can I fix this? | My friend is a redditor, so this is a throw away account.
My Friend 'Jeff' has been friends with me (a girl), my friend 'Jen' and another girl 'Leaf' since middle school, we are all juniors in college. Jen and I are his only two close friends.
The problem is Leaf. He instantly formed a crush on her. 2 years ago professed his "love" for her. She gently let him down. They still chatted a bit here and there, but he kept trying to win her over. This creeped her out a bit.
Meanwhile Jen is closer friend with Jeff and Leaf. simultaneously telling Jeff to back off and Leaf to maybe give him a chance.
Then, somehow, Jeff started dating a girl. We realised Jeff has no social skills and is unable to be a "boy friend". Leaf hears about how bad of a boyfriend Jeff is, and is *completely* turned off from the thought of dating him.
Jen told Jeff that he should stop talking to and about Leaf to get over her. But this wasn't explained to Leaf- so to her he just stopped calling, texting and responding.
So Leaf is 100% over having any interactions or even hearing about Jeff. But he is still obsessed. Jen and I have tried everything from subtle niceties, to blunt honesty.
It's been 2 years and he's still obsessed. How do we fix this?
He's not trying to contact her, not stalking her. Just pining over her, putting her on a pedestal, and ruining his own chances to move on and be happy. | Guy friend obsessed with girl who hates his guts. How do his girl friends help him out? |
t3_3j9qxk | relationships | My [28, M] GF's [22,F] best friend's [21, F] BF [24, M] has been habitually cheating on her in front of me and my friends. | I met my girlfriend and her best friend on the same day about 2.5 years ago. My GF and I have been dating happily for about 2 years now. I introduced her best friend to an acquaintance of mine about a year ago. He has, since my meeting, shown his insecure and borderline-sociopath side more times than not, but never around his girlfriend. All four of us run in the same social circle. It is problematic and I honestly feel bad for the girl because she really loves him and is in constant denial that anything is array.
The other night he slept with some random girl at a party that a bunch of us were at, but neither his girlfriend or any of her friends were in attendance. He boasted and joked about it to a group of us guys the next morning, as if we're supposed to be impressed. This was not the first time this has happened.
My girlfriend already strongly dislikes him, she is a pretty good judge of character. I don't think it is my place to say anything to either my girlfriend or his partner. I don't want my girlfriend to end up on the shit end of the stick with her friend. I just feel bad for the girl. He isn't going to stop anytime soon. Any advice for somebody in this awkward situation? | My GF's bestfriend's BF cheats on her in front of me and my friends. Conflicted about how to handle it. |
t3_1fm2ht | relationship_advice | Asian Parents [mf/50], me [m/21] and Weed | I just graduated from undergrad and am living at home. I have always been a good student, and also just landed a job at a good company. However, my parents found my stash, and confronted me, saying I was going down the wrong path, that I would gateway into another drug, they would put a curfew on me, etc. I was completely honest about everything unfortunately, including my very frequent use.
I told them I could stop smoking in the house, but given my age and track record, I told them my use probably wouldn't stop. That was when they broke down, saying I was a different person, changed by weed, and that I had no respect, that they had lost sleep over my habit, etc.
Then my mom revealed reading love letters from my ex (who she hated, and endlessly encouraged me to dump). At this point I was furious that she would invade my privacy to that length, and left and spent the night at a friend's. I am back at the house now, and haven't said a word to them since.
There are several things I am trying to cope with emotionally. I am still furious my mom would invade my privacy like that. I am worried that if my parents don't accept me now, even given my great track record and great job, they will never accept me. I can lie to them and say I will never do it again, but frankly I am tired of the control my parents try to exert on me, and would rather be able to honestly talk about it. I am just lost on what to do. I don't know what to do, how to feel, how much responsibility I have in fixing this damage, etc. | Parents found weed. Think I'm off the deep end, even though I just graduated and got a great job. Mom admitted violating my privacy. Haven't spoken since. Lost on what to do. |
t3_273bpt | offmychest | (x-post from r/mentalhealth) I think i may be developing some form of OCD. | So recently ive started to realize that i may be over attached and obsessed with situations i go through.
Example: This weekend i went to a concert, and for the first time a girl started dancing with me. It was amazing and i got real into it and was having alot of fun. Eventually the girl drifted off and was dancing with another guy. Now i didnt know this girl, only danced with her for like an hour( it was like grind dancing not just like dancing around, she was like grabbing my hands and rubbing herself with them, sorry if im over descriptive with that, it helps to get all the info out), and i realize that i would more then likely never see this girl again in my life(im from michigan and the concert was in toronto) but instantly after she left i kinda got depressed which felt weird at the time. Later that night she was all that i could think about and same with today, to the point where im actually having mini panic attacks and depression over the fact that ill never see her again.
This has happened with other situations alot lately where it seems i cant let things go or i over think and obsses over things for way to long that it starts to hurt me mentaly and emotionaly. Im starting to feel like im going insane because there is no reason i should feel this way over things like this. I was just wondering if this would be considered partial ocd or not and if anyone has any tips to help me get over stuff faster and let things go. With the above example i started to feel creepy cuz i was looking through instragram for hours trying to find pictures of her from the concert to try to find out who she was. I finnaly did find out but i thankfully was able to keep myself from adding her on facebook or messaging her. Like i said above this has just started happening recently and its starting to worry me about my mental state. Any sort of insight would be greatly appreciated.
Sorry for wall of text | I cant seem to let things go and i over think/obsess over situations to the point where i knew a girl for an hour or 2 this weekend and am now depressed that ill never see her again. Any advice? |
t3_2jmvmn | relationships | Why don't I [20 F] love the perfect guy [24 M]? | Hey everyone. I am a college student in the USA. I have never been in a relationship before, but I have turned down a few guys. One of them is this guy, who I will henceforth refer to as Jack.
Jack is a wonderful person. He is sincere, attractive, funny, sweet, kind, uncomplicated, and affectionate. He says he loves me and would do anything for me, and he constantly reminds me of this. But I don't feel anything for him. Sometimes I'm even downright annoyed or even bored with him. I don't know why. He is the kind of guy that I fantasize about.
Jack has been chasing me for nearly 3 years now, and I can't help but feel that I'm doing something wrong by not being with him. He never holds it against me or anything; I just feel like I'm being stupid.
I really want to give Jack a chance, but I'm really nervous and scared that I will end up selfishly hurting him. | Has anyone here experienced not being attracted to a "perfect" guy/gal who loves you? What did you do and why? |
t3_1hog64 | relationships | My(19/m) girlfriend(19/f) of about 5 years seems to be completely ignoring me. | Ok, to start off my girlfriend and I met in high school when we were both 14 and have been together for about 5 years time, excluding a time when she broke-up with me and had another boyfriend for about 4 months time. I feel like I have loved her unconditionally for the entirety of our relationship and she, for the most part, has mutually done the same.
Like any real relationship we have had little quips and things that we needed to get out in the open, but it always seemed that we communicated quite well. The only time we had trouble communicating she ended up dumping me at the end of my jr. year in high school, but we ended up getting back together before the sr. year was done.
Most recently we went to university together and spent the better part of 2 college semesters sharing a dorm room having minimal problems and honestly being genuinely happy. But at the end of the second semester she began saying she was quite homesick and missed her family and friends which was understandable, but it got to the point where she was saying she almost hated it where we were. Eventually things settled in and we went home for summer break.
During the beginning of the break we'd spend maybe 3 days a week together either eating lunch or dinner or just spending time talking together at my home or in the park. I had already begun working a summer job upwards of 30 hours a week and cherished the time we had together no matter how long. She began her summer job which was at a Sunday through Friday summer camp. In actuality we have seen each other much less than I would like, but that is the sacrifice people make when they need to pay for college. But the thing is, on her days off and at night when she has her phone she decides to visit friends and text her ex. Both things I don't mind, but am I wrong to feel like she should at least want to text me or call? The only time we talk is when I start the dialogue and even that only last about 2 disappointing minutes. I just feel like she may not know what she wants, but doing this to me isn't fair right? | My gf of roughly five years have had relatively small problems and broken up once only to rejoin a few months later. Communication is usually great, but since we both started our summer job she has been completely ignoring me while keeping contact with others. Am I right to feel hurt about this and is it fair for her to do this when I am trying? |
t3_3fdspj | relationships | Me 24 F with my friend 26 M something may have happened when I visited | I met this guy 24M about two years ago. He recently left town, thus I went and visited him since he moved home for family reasons. This guy has been a total brother figure, I trust him to the ends of the earth. Extremely non-romantic/ very platonic. Lets make that super clear.
I ended up not eating enough, drinking too much, and making an ass of myself. Usually doesn't happen. I don't remember a ton after 11pm in the evening (only 1 hour missing) and one of the few things I do is kissing him. However to no avail has he admitted to this at all. I am not 100% sure this happened either. I don't know what to do with this because I am not sure it happened but the whole idea of it really freaks me out.
Other than cutting this person out of my life if he doesn't clearly tell me what happened, I am at a loss. So Reddit, am I justified in this? | How should I confront my friend about a night where I got too drunk and am missing some time? What situation is going to make him spill his guts about what happened for what I don't remember? If he doesn't is it reasonable to cut him out or keep him at a distance? |
t3_2svsrd | relationships | Me (21F) with SO (26M) of 4 years--how do I tell him he's a bad sport? | My SO can be a lot of fun to play games with, just as long as they're not competitive. For example, party games like Apples to Apples, The Game of Things, and Cards Against Humanity are great! But his two favorite games, Magic the Gathering and soccer, along with other competitive games like Settlers of Catan...not so much.
He's a really, really poor sport about these games. He's a braggart when he wins, and the worst sore loser I know. He'll say stuff like "That guy was clearly the inferior player, I only lost because I got mana screwed/flooded" or "I can't play at that card store because I win too easily." Also, he pouts and says some really cringe worthy stuff when he's losing. I can tell it makes others uncomfortable, and he is completely unaware of it. On top of that, he really is very good at these games, and he's not wrong when he says this stuff. This will make it more difficult to correct because he doesn't realize that just because it's true doesn't mean it's sporting to say it. The pouting is just ridiculous.
I have put up with it mostly because I don't know how to tell him. Outside of these competitive games, he's great! Very fun, sweet, and loving. I love playing any other kind of game with him because he's really awesome to play party games with. He becomes a completely different player when it's a competition, though.
I should mention that he is also sort of sensitive to criticism, and I am, frankly, tactless about bringing stuff like this up. How do I let him know about his poor sportsmanship tactfully and in such a way that I can get my point across to him? | SO loves games but is a poor sport. How do I tell him? |
t3_1m7f1n | loseit | A short story and a thank you for r/loseit | I have a story, but more importantly I am making the post to thank you - the good people of r/loseit for helping me without even knowing it. I've been lurking here a while and decided I should speak up!
A couple of months ago I split up with my girlfriend of 6 years. I was overweight (for the first time ever) mainly from eating poorly and having a desk job for the first time after university. I weighed around 96kg at my heaviest (I'm 183cm tall). When it suddenly ended (not my choice by the way, it was a little bit of a shock) I became really depressed - I hated my job, I had nowhere to live permanently and was alone for the first time in a while.
The doctor and nurse both offered me anti-depressants - I refused, I wanted to overcome my own problems not hideaway from them. It was around this time I decided to get back into shape and I found r/loseit. You people are inspiring, when I see what some people here have achieved it made me realise there was no reason I couldn't sort my own life out. So I did. I spoke to my manager and got my job role changed, I moved back to my home town and see friends regularly again and I have my confidence back. All of this was started by getting back into the exercise regime. I can now swim 2.5km in 55 mins; cycle with an average speed of 25-26km/hr and run 10km in under an hour.
But I'm not finished, I have a plan - I want to complete a triathlon when the season restarts in March to raise money for charities that work on young peoples mental health problems (I'm in the UK suggested are welcomed). By the end of triathlon season (next September) I will complete an iron man triathlon once again for charity.
I will return when I have completed both of these to thank you again. I would not be in this position without your inspiration! | I was overweight got depressed after splitting up with GF; getting into shape and raising money for charity by completing triathlon/iron man races. Inspired by r/loseit. |
t3_21gz9x | relationships | I [22 M] have been with my girlfriend [23 F] for almost 3 years, but I'm not sure I'm ready to decide to base my life around this particular relationship.... | I'll [22M] be graduating from college in just a few weeks, and am still trying to work out what kind of career I want and what I want out of life in general. Making this more difficult is my long-term relationship with my [23 F] girlfriend, who graduated last year and is about to start a new job in a city far from my hometown that I have no ties to. The basic issue right now is that I don't know if it would be the right decision for me to prioritize living with/near her over other career possibilities.
But that's not the biggest issue. I feel like choosing to prioritize being near her over other things would be, essentially, indicating that I think she's "the one" and...I'm just not sure that's true right now. I think I love her, but I'm also afraid that my understand of "love" is still childish and inexperienced.
This past year I've been pretty much fine without having her around (though we still talk via online messaging and stuff, of course), and as if that wasn't enough, I'm starting to have feelings for someone else a year younger than me.
Basically, I feel like I am having to make extremely long-term, adult relationship decisions right now, and I just don't know how to do it. | Major life choices regarding my relationship coming up as I prepare to graduate from college, and I don't know what to do about them. |
t3_1cb2sy | relationships | I [25/F] have never been more startlingly happy with someone [24/M], so why did we have such an awful day?! | My boyfriend and I have had to drive for nearly ten hours today, so I'd rather summarize what happened for all our sakes.
* boyfriend recently received a promotion to manager of one of his company's other locations (he's great at his job)
* appointment to sign lease on gorgeous apartment which I trusted him to choose without me (and he chose perfectly, knew he probably would given our shared tastes)
* both gladly quitting the green, smoked a celebratory joint for a week's worth of "sobriety"^lol before leaving this morning at 4:30AM
* woke up in good spirits as per our usual rapport, had phenomenal sex prior to washing up (in fact, had more phenomenal sex after everything was said and done before bed)
* stupidly went off on each other about the heat settings in the car
* managed to adjust the mood soon after, I slept in the back seat until 2:00PM or so
* smoked our second joint after eating lunch, I accidentally burned the middle of the joint, WAS successfully smoking the very end and leaving him the other half of the joint, flicked what I thought was ash, actually cherry that--by some stroke of *demonic* luck--melts a portion of plastic on (his company's rental car's) dash board
* he gets angry, we toss a few (unnecessary) jabs which is very uncharacteristic of us
I'm sure that the brunt of advice will suggest the stress of moving to a new city as a young couple, but prior to this day, we haven't even been feeling stressed about it. We live in a very shit city; there is no reason for us to feel any kind of anxiety, I'd think. In return, enjoy a picture of the little Corgi girl we'll soon be [adopting:]( | my lovely boyfriend and I should have enjoyed our road trip to sign the lease on our new apartment, but it was ruined by some shit mood of mystery origin |
t3_4oe7jw | relationships | Me [27 F] with my ___ [26 M] 3 years, why do I care so much about this? | I've been with my boyfriend for three years and living for a year and a half. I've never cared (literally ever) about this before, but he's mentioned he doesn't watch porn anymore (sometimes out of the blue).
I didn't really care if he did anyway, but when I went on his computer (with permission), I saw a tab open with a porn site.
For some reason this made me really upset, mostly just because he said he doesn't watch it, and I've never even asked him before.
He told me when we first started dating that he does occasionally watch it. Any time I mention things or people that are attractive to me, he seems to get upset about it, which I don't understand because if he's going to do something, why can't I?
Now I just feel paranoid all the time, and I know all guys do watch porn, but I'm beginning to feel insecure about it and myself. I know it's all fake but for some reason, it hurts my feelings.
Any ideas on how to stop caring about such a stupid matter? :) I've never had anything like this in a previous relationship, but this is my first serious relationship I've had in a while, so I'm going to assume that's why I care so much? I know that if our relationship is going well, which it is, I shouldn't be concerned. I | Argh, why do I care so much? |
t3_2ochbs | self | To my best friend | We had connection that most people will never experience--something that people spend their whole lives hoping will one day happen.
We were a team. When someone thought of me, they thought of you, and vice versa.
We would talk on the phone everyday, anywhere between 10 minutes to 2 hours. It wouldn't be about anything important, we just wanted to hear each other talk about how good carnitas sound, or how 80's rock has randomly grown on us, or how we fucked up a class by oversleeping.
We would go to Waffle House at 2 in the morning and drive an extra 15 minutes to one just so we could smoke inside. And now neither of us have that anymore.
You took your life this thanksgiving and you took mine too.
I will think of you every damn day and how lucky I was to have you as a friend. I built the past 3 years of my life around you; my music taste, my humor, my entire view on life. I am going to keep building my life around yours and experience everything for the both of us.
Being the pallbearer at your funeral is a moment I will cherish forever. You weren't religious, and you wanted to be cremated, so I'm sorry to let you know just how catholic the event was.
Your mom is being strong and loved you more than you know. So many people came to remember you, people you would've laughed your ass off for being there.
You will never be gone to me, and don't worry, I have enough room to carry both of us. | This might be a wall of text, but it's the one thing I will not shorten. |
t3_el641 | AskReddit | Help me out: what is the best way for payback on a rude bar/restaurant and/or its manager ? | I went into a bar that I had frequented previously. To be fair, I was more than a bit tipsy and a probably pain when I was. This was also months ago. Well, he remembered me. I walk in and he see's me. I'm three steps in, and from across the room he raises his voice, just shy of shouting, "no, you're not being here; just turn around and walk out."
Now, I recognize his right to serve/not serve whom he chooses. I also recognize that I (obviously) pissed him off last time I was there. That being said, did he have to tell me from across the room with a raised and obviously pissed voice? Well, even though I can understand the refusal, the insulting, public manner he used was not really forgivable. Obviously, I'm not going back, but I'd love to send some payback his way.
Or should I just let a sleeping dog lie? | Angry, possibly justified, bar manager insultingly and publicly refuses me service using a raised voice from across the room just as I walk in and I want to serve up some payback. |
t3_1vf3zj | relationships | I'm [28 F] unable to get over my ex-boyfriend [36 M] of a year. Should I seek counseling? | What the hell am I supposed to do. It's been three months, we tried to kind of hash things out the first few weeks after the breakup but then he told me it was definitely over and I'm not getting any better. He broke up with me harshly and then kinda led me on that we would work it out... but tonight he told me there's absolutely no way we'll ever be together and he doesn't hate me but he doesn't love me. What an ass. Anyway, two days ago I went over there and we slept together. I asked why he was so different tonight and he said "well, I guess I was in a good mood the other night." His justification for the other night was that he had stopped briefly because he said "I don't want to take advantage of you" to which of course I was like no, no it's fine. Honestly, I am not to torn up over that so much as the complete flip on his part. I'm going insane. My anxiety is out of control. I'm so depressed. | Ex-boyfriend has told me over and over it's done and I just can't move on. He's been wishy washy at times, slept with me, but tonight it's really over. How the hell do I deal, is counseling really worth it? |
t3_4v15di | relationships | Me [24M] with my friend [23F] started chatting for the first time over mutual interest in a game, trying to become better friends but avoid being 'that guy' | Hey guys, so I met a girl about a year ago through mutual friends (who neither of us talk to anymore) though we never really spoke or hung out as she lives around 2 hours away, I had her on facebook etc, it turns out though that we both had an interest in the same multiplayer game so I hit her up recently to see if she wanted to play a few rounds of it and we started doing that.
Turns out shes actually a lot of fun to chat to and we get along really well, so I want to avoid being known as 'that guy that likes games' but because we have never really spoken before or have that much in common I find it hard to come up with something to start a conversation with other than "Hey are you free later?" though anytime I do and work schedules line up we usually end up making time to play together.
Usually I tend to meet new people/friends through mutual friends, work or clubs, so trying to get to know and become friendly with someone I vaguely know is new territory
Any advice on how to branch out and try and keep things rolling without falling into the trap of seeming like a weirdo or am I just overthinking things? | Starting talk to someone I get along with though we don't have much in common, looking to avoid being known as 'that guy that likes games' |
t3_idsz8 | AskReddit | Reddit, what would be the appropriate payback. | My wife and I are in the process of selling our condo and buying a house. Everything has been going really well with the purchase of the house, but the lady buying our condo have been trying to scam us for every dime she can. First, she asked for quite a bit of money off of our price, and she wants money towards closing costs (this I know is totally valid in this economy). Then she has an inspection on the condo and expects us to drop the price by 100% of the cost to repair the "old" furnace and AC, both of which still work fine. She's also done a couple of other things where she has tried to bleed us for even more money.
We really want to sell, and as much of a battle as this has been, we're forced to comply with a lot of shit. Now we want to do something really passive-aggressive to make us feel better. What does Reddit suggest? | Selfish bitch wants every last dime off the price of our condo, and we want payback. What should we do? |
t3_ugv8m | tifu | TIFU only made it 2 minutes into my road trip. | I got a call from my best friends who live out of state saying they were coming back to our hometown, they invited me to come see them. So I seized the opportunity to reunite with them, I got my shit together and left my house. I stopped at the gas station a half mile away and payed for my gas, filled up the car, and drove off. A mile down the road I realized my wallet wasn't in my pocket. So I whipped a u-turn hauled ass back and interrogated every damned person in the gas station about my wallet. It's now gone forever, drivers license, insurance card, credit card, family pictures, and some cash. | Made it 2 minutes into my road trip to see my lifelong best friends, lost my wallet, turned right back around and went home. |
t3_472kcx | relationships | My [22F] Boyfriend [21M] Won't Tell me About Sexual History | I've been dating this guy for a couple months now, and we had sex for the first time. I was a virgin prior to this, and I asked if he had sex before and he said yes, and that was the end of that conversation. But I feel sort of reluctant about having sex with him because I'm worried if he's been with several girls before, or just one. I know everyone has a past but since I was a virgin until this it, makes me feel weird knowing that he's been with other girls. Especially since he is a year younger than me and it makes me feel embarrassed. How can I get my boyfriend to tell me about how many girls he had sex with before? Is that a weird thing to ask, when I've just asked to know more about his sexual history he's said that's kind of personal and shuts it down, but I feel like as his sexual partner it's my right to know? What should I do? | My boyfriend won't tell me about his sexual history but I want to know before I continue having sex with him |
t3_2o39r4 | relationships | I [26 M] have been seeing [23 F] girl. Says she really likes me, but barely texts. Haven't heard from her since Saturday. | I met her online and we've hung out three times so far. Things seem great when we hang out. She's very nice and she's responded with the same when I've told her that I really like her. We've kissed, too.
It's just tough to keep any feeling towards her when I barely hear from her otherwise. I've gotten one text every 1-2 days from her. Every time I hear from her, like when she asked how my weekend was going, I think that we might be able to talk a little bit, but that was it. **She does say she's terrible at keeping her phone around, but is it really so hard to send me a text or respond on Facebook?**
Not to seem like I'm keeping an eye on her, but she did just hang out with a friend (a girl) this last weekend (I saw her tagged on Facebook). She also hasn't been on the dating site since we hung out over a week ago. Things seem okay, but I can't tell when I don't talk to her.
I'm just close to letting her go, but I really like her. I did send a longer message over Facebook telling her how I feel. She read it yesterday, but hasn't responded. | Girl says she really likes me, but I barely her from her when we're not hanging out. I really don't think she's talking to someone else, either. |
t3_3ofjwi | relationships | Me [18 M] with my Girlfriend[18 F] of half a year, she's going to schoolies without me? | Throwaway because you never know.
While we've been only been official for half a year, we've liked each other for around 12 months now, and it's clear that we are deeply in love with each other. We both make each other really happy in each others company, and have had lots of awesome memories together. School is about to finish for us, and with that comes schoolies, a festival in Australia where school kids celebrate finishing school by getting drunk together over 4 days.
And herein lies my problem. She's going with a group of friends who are known partygoers, and she is one herself. It's clear that there's going to be a huge amount of alcohol that they will consume, with the intention of getting drunk. I'm not a fan of this lifestyle and are not going, I'm spending the time away with a few mates. But as it gets closer, I'm getting more and more nervous. There's going to be a lot of drunk guys there as well, and while I trust my girlfriend, I don't trust them. I don't know what to do and how to make myself feel better, I'm just so nervous about what could happen. They're going to be wearing revealing clothing and are going to be really loud, and I don't like that. She keeps telling me nothing will happen, is she right? I don't want anything bad to happen to her, for whatever the reason.
Also, her friends are keen snapchatters, and will snapchat anything. I'm worried I'll see my girlfriend doing something bad, that I definitely wouldn't want lots of other people seeing.
There's nothing I can do about it, I was just wondering if anyone had any advice to help me cope? Am I overreacting, or are my concerns that something bad could happen warranted? I don't drink by the way, so I think that makes me nervous about my girlfriend drinking, she gets really silly after a few drinks.
I get that I can come across as overprotective or controlling, I just really care about her. | Girlfriend going to schoolies without me, how do I stop being worried? |
t3_131yjc | relationship_advice | I (m18) love my girlfriend (f18) but I don't think I want a relationship (11 months). Please help! | So here's the deal, I'm torn. This is my first relationship longer than a month, and I love her very much, we've been dating for 11 months and we've never had a serious fight, and sex is great. I can always talk to her.
A few months ago I started college and the long distance didn't even really affect it. I've visited her and she's visited me. It's always been good, until last weekend.
She came up and we hung out all weekend, but I really wanted to hang out with my friends that I've met. Recently, I've started realizing that I can do so much more if I were single. I'm not talking sex or anything, she's great and I'm not interested in flings or anything. I'm talking about just experiencing life, and I don't feel I can do that tied down. She's transferring here in the spring, and I feel like more time would be eaten up with it.
So here's my dilemma. I thought I made a decision to break up with her over the upcoming thanksgiving break, but I'm not so sure. I want to go out and have fun but I love her and I don't necessarily want to lose her. She's marriage material, but I don't want super serious right now...should I go ahead through with it and see where life takes me? Or should I stick it out even though I can't really hang out with my friends? | I love my girlfriend but my committed relationship is preventing me from experiencing college/life. Shes transferring to my college in the spring. Should I stick it out because she's so wonderful or should I end it and see where life takes me? She wouldn't be expecting it.. |
t3_12inzx | AskReddit | I'm starting to hate my friends. Reddit, is there any moral justification for thinking you're better than someone else, or is it just pure arrogance? | I'm using a throwaway here, as I know deep down I'm being a cunt. However, on the off chance that I'm wrong, I'm simply wondering if there is ever a scenario where you can say that you're a better human being than someone else.
I've known some of my friends for quite a few years, and I'm simply coming to realise I don't agree with the way in which they live their lives, and that they don't enrich my life in any way at all.
I've started feeling "better than them", but I'm having moral dilemmas as to whether that's just me being a straight up elitist asshole. | i'm sick of my friends, am i ever allowed to think to my self, yet alone say that i'm better than another human being. |
t3_14mfva | relationships | Life changing move but nervous about telling my SO[M] 22 | Myself F[20] and my SO M[22] have been together for over a year and we are both very happy with our relationship. But in the last while other aspects of my life have been going really badly and I just feel like everything is falling apart except for my relationship of course. Family life hasn't been great, I'm unhappy with my job and I've had a tough time in other ways over the past year. So what I would really like is for me and my SO to move away and start a new life somewhere else. My SO has a great degree that will allow him to work anywhere in the world and I so badly want to get away. I know my SO wants to travel but I'm not sure if this is the right time for him. I have a feeling he has been avoiding applying for jobs abroad because i wasn't in a position to move until now. I love him very much but I just don't know how to tell him how I feel and how much I want us to go away together. I really feel like I need to get away but I'm not willing to go without him. I never have issues telling him how I feel and I can talk to him about anything but this feels like a huge decision and I am genuinely nervous about suggesting it to him. I so badly want him to agree to come with me! Am I over-reacting? Should I just bite the bullet and come out and say it? All feedback and comments would be greatly appreciated! Thank you all in advance! | how do I tell my SO I want us to make a whole new life elsewhere? |
t3_4b699l | relationships | Me [26 F] with my boyfriend [26 M] 3 years, I feel like he sometimes doesn't want to be with me. | Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 amazing years and I really love him. I'm a nurse so I know sometimes it feels like we don't spend enough time together but when ever I get the time I try to spend it with him.
He doesn't seem to want to be around me anymore though and it feels like I'm a burden to him.
We don't text throughout the day but I've told him to text me in the morning. This worked for maybe 2 years of our relationship and now it's stopped. Everytime I go over to his I try to be intimate he seems to get annoyed and it hurts my feelings.
I never get to see him and when I do I want to do stuff with him and just be around him. He seems more distant than before as well and that worries me because I love this man and don't want to break up.
I don't know what to do please help? | my boyfriend doesn't seem to want to spend time with me but I want to be with him. |
t3_28v7ve | Advice | Life/Travel/Work Advice | Hi there.
So to explain my situation: I'm 24 and have lived at home since graduating and have a job at a top football team. It is by no means my ideal job and although its provided me with great experience I don't find it challenging anymore and feel like I've learnt all I can.
The salary isn't great but I've managed to pay off my overdraft and save about £4k. Most of my friends have moved away to other places and I think the time is coming to move somewhere else, travel and become more independent.
I thought I'd ask people here who may have been/are in similar positions. Ideally I look at now as the perfect time to travel and see the world, but my parents have the view that you shouldn't really leave a secure job until you have something else in place. Then again, they grew up in a different generation so I'm not sure they see things from my perspective.
I understand their view but at the same time I don't want this time to pass me by, as before I know it I could have a home, a mortgage, a wife and kids (!) and everything will be even harder by that point.
However, the world just seems so big and I have no idea at all where to start. I know Spanish and conversational Mandarin from my Uni degree and spent a year in China and Spain so I am used to travelling abroad, although I have always been with other friends during these times. There are so many places I'd like to go such as the US, Tokyo, Russia but have no plan in sight.
I've considered teaching abroad, although I'm not massively keen, unless it was the only option to travel. I quite like marketing, and I'd like to use my languages somehow. I've read a lot of posts about things people wished they had done at my age and a lot of them said 'travel while you were still free', although it is scary when I realise I may have to do this on my own seeing as most of my friends are settled in their various placements.
Sorry for the long winded post, just wanted to get everything down. What advice would you give me? I'll be sure to read every response.
Thanks for reading!! | Have £4k saved up and looking for a new job/adventure outside UK. Speak English, Spanish and Mandarin. Want to see the world. Help. |
t3_2qnqwg | relationships | A terrible love triangle | Reddit, I am need of some serious help here. Using a throw away for obvious reasons. I (31M) am entirely having a break down when it comes to romantic relations.
Back story here, I dated a girl (now 29) many years ago, eight to be exact. We dated for about a year. I loved her, and at the time she was the one I thought I would marry. We had a terrible break up due to her infidelity and the fact that we were both in the party scene and just all around bad people.
About 6 months ago my ex from years ago came back into my life. She sent me a text basically to start a conversation so she could apologize for everything she did years ago. We talked a lot of things out and decided because we were both different people than years ago we could try and be friends. My current SO(29) of two years was supportive, but a bit hesitant. Well she was right to be. Now, six months later I have woke up and realized that I am terribly in love with my ex from years ago. I want to be with her and no one else. Here is the problem.... I still have a significant other, and so does she. The ex actually isnt even interested in seeing me that way again. She is in love with her SO and they have plans to marry. | I want my ex, my SO wants me, and my ex wants her SO. How have I allowed it to happen, and how do I undo all of it? |
t3_115ftj | relationships | My sister [15f] is in a bad relationship with a boy [14m], but won't break up. Need advice. | My sister is 15 and is experiencing her first "real" boyfriend, who is 14. They've been together for about a year.
Lately she's been coming to me saying how depressed she is because her boyfriend has changed and she misses the way they used to be. I told her of course he's changed, puberty will do that, and boy's mature slower than girls and you're older than him. She doesn't understand this.
He works at a store with his Mom and there is another employee his age and he tells her that she likes her and stays late to work with her and my sister knows this, but won't break up with him, just comes to me yet again saying how sad she is.
I've told her countless times that she needs to break up with him, he's immature and too much of a pussy bitch to end the relationship himself.
She says she doesn't want to break up because she doesn't want to be alone x_x She says if she breaks up, no other guy will want her because she thinks she's "ugly and fat".
I'm 23 but I've never been through this at her age, or ever. I can't imagine staying with someone at 15 because I think I will be "forever alone".
How do I get through to her? I give her advice and she never takes it. I'm tired of her being depressed. | Sister needs to break up with a boy who makes her unhappy, neither refuse to do it. |
t3_1hny7e | relationships | How can I (18F) get over my boyfriend (17F) kissing someone else while we were broken up? [Relationships] | * | My boyfriend kissed one of my best friends while we were broken up and it affects my perception of him still. How can I get over it? |
t3_150zrh | relationship_advice | 23/m that fell in love with a girl in five minutes. Don't know what to do. | I was on a my first leg of three flights yesterday from NYC to DC. As I walk up to my row, I see an indescribably gorgeous girl sitting in the isle. She looks Dallas Bryce Howard with blonde hair. I was floored. As everyone else is boarding, (I was in the window seat) I managed to ask her if she was an actress. She laughed and said no and we started talking. About five minutes later a large woman sat down between us, effectively halting our conversation but I got her first name.
Throughout the flight I just couldn't stop thinking about her. What she does, her voice, just every little part about her seemed like a dream. I was convinced to at least give her my number on the back of my ticket and tell her how beautiful I thought she was. I was going to tell her (even though I live in NY and she in DC) that I just wanted one date. One dinner; one chance. Unfortunately the lady between us took too long getting off the plane and she vanished after I got off the flight.
I know that this probably seems weird, but I've never had such a strong reaction to talking to somebody in my entire life. I really don't believe in love at first sight, but I have no other way to describe what I felt in such a short amount of time. Even finding this girl is probably impossible. All i know is her first name (not even how it's spelled) and a rough idea of what she does. Even if I do, how am I supposed to contact her? "Hey, remember that guy that you talked to on that one plane?" I just don't know how I'd be able to do anything. Any advice or reassuring words? | Fell in love with the most gorgeous woman in five minutes on a plane. I can't stop thinking about her and want to have one shot at taking her on a date. |
t3_2njm80 | tifu | TIFU by meeting a Tinder match who was only in town for the weekend | It's a Thursday night. I'm off work the next day. This dude on Tinder and I are really hitting it off. He's in town for a job interview so is staying at a hotel and doesn't have a car. I decide it's a good idea to meet up with him. It's 10:30pm by this point. His hotel is downtown about 15 mins away.
I get to the hotel and try to go in through one of the side entrances. It's downtown so the door is locked and you have to have a key to get in. I call him to let him know. He agrees to come down and let me in. It's a pretty cold night out and here I am standing on the sidewalk. Meanwhile, 3 older ladies walk through the door so I follow them in to wait for my Tinder match in the hall next to the elevators. Once these ladies realize I didn't get in with a key, they start freaking out and ask me what I'm doing there. I explain that I'm waiting for a friend. They keep giving me dirty looks so I go back outside. I can't bring myself to inform them that I am, in fact, not a prostitute.
My Tinder buddy finally makes his way down to the lobby to let me in. The women are still there. They stare us down as we walk into the elevator. Just before the door closes, he reaches out his hand and introduce himself. The ladies gasp.
I explained the situation to my Tinder match and it was so awkward that I only ended up staying for a half hour. Thankfully did not see the ladies on my way out. | Met a Tinder match at a downtown hotel late at night and got mistaken for a prostitute. |
t3_1kn83d | relationships | Should I [21m] pursue this relationship with my partner [36m]? | Quick Backstory: Met this guy at Gay Days in DisneyWorld at the beginning of June. Hit it off very well and had an awesome weekend. We decided it was a "date" and wanted to pursue things. Overall, the guy was awesome. The only issue is I'm almost done with college and live in Tennessee, and he lives in Chicago. I decided that I may re-locate after I receive my Bachelor's, and for us to fly back and forth to get to know each other better if that was okay.
The twist? His ex boyfriend of 5 years still lived with him. I explained my concern and he explained the situation. They had been split for over a year, but his ex [23m] was still living with him while trying to find a place. I still found it absolutely bizarre, but sooner than later his ex did move out (20 minutes away).
My partner came to stay at my place for a month, and my friends and family loved him. However, red flags began to rise. He constantly mentioned his ex with every situation, saying "when you date someone for 5 years you can't get them out of your head." I understood that, and told him that I'd be more than happy to listen to what he has to say. It quickly became a problem as he constantly mentioned his ex.
When he went back to Chicago him and his ex still "hung out." He told me they went and watched movies together, had dinner, and chilled around the house. I'm not the jealous type, but this still raised more red flags in my head.
Yesterday my partner said that his ex kissed him on the lips. He laughed about it and pretended it was no big deal. His words were "I pulled away after he kissed me, but I did remember what an awesome kisser he was."
It sucks because this guy rocks, but I feel I'm being played for a fool. What do you guys think? Am I overreacting or are those some definite red flags? | Partner's ex keeps weaseling himself into my partner's life. Partner thinks it okay to keep contact with him, and it's making me feel uncomfortable. |
t3_3pkqvv | relationships | Does love in a relationship really ebb and flow like so many comments say here? | I've (26F) been in a relationship with 25M for 3+ years now. He's absolutely wonderful - he's cute, thoughtful, and just about the nicest person I've ever met in my life. We have a lot of fun together and he's incredibly supportive in every way. We've been talking about a possible engagement by next summer.
Basically, I want to know how I should feel after being in a relationship this long. This is my longest relationship and I am definitely very comfortable in this relationship and with him, but I worry that we don't have the "spark" anymore. I think I imagined a more "Disney" relationship where there's a lot more "hearts racing, can't survive without each other" sort of love. I'm less interested in sex now, but I don't know if I've just naturally settled down from the "going at it like rabbits" phase or if it's a sign of something else. Some days I worry that maybe we've run our course since we're not all over each other the way we were at the start and other days I can't imagine why I would even think that way because he is so perfect.
Is this normal? | I love him, but the tingles have faded. Normal? |
t3_d2hys | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, is telling a girl "calm down, no one is going to rape you" make me an asshole? | So I was at a friends, and shes like did you lock the window? I said yeah, but why are you so paranoid, no one is going to climb through.
So shes like, well about a year ago this guy climbed through a window and raped this girl...
So I go "calm down no one is going to rape you..."
Her reaction, what are you calling me ugly? your an asshole.
I mean I can understand see where she is coming from, but from my limited understanding, most rapes are about power... anyways I thought that was something stupid to get angry at me for.
What do you think Reddit? I mean it was the wrong choice words yes, but to get mad and be insulted by it really? I mean yes there is a possibility of her getting raped by someone climbing through her window... but c'mon... really your going to get mad at me over this? | told a girl no one would rape her, got called an asshole, didn't mean it as a asshole comment. impact > intent? |
t3_z8560 | AskReddit | This'll probably get buried, nevertheless, redditors who've ended a long relationship, do you wish to know if your ex is genuinely happy now? | So I've been through some pretty rough times this year. I'm thriving for the last few months. I'm 23 and after ending a six year relationship for nearly a year and a half ago, I'm still learning to forgive, forget and let go of a huge anchor in my life (if this picks up I'd be glad to elaborate into my story). The thing is, I know I've got some pent up anger, but I try to deal with it as rational as possible, when I'm happy I'd just like to ask my ex if she's happy (she's with someone else for a year now). I have no intention of getting back together, I've haven't spoken or heard of her since march. Anyways, I'd really like to know if she is happy and thriving as I am sometimes, on the other hand I don't want to pop out of nowhere and mess her head up. I would love to hear from her she's happy, at the same time I feel it's better to just let her be and stay as total strangers.
Redditors, I'd appreciate some advice, and some experience in the matter. For most of the time I just want to stay away, on the other hand, I'd like to hear she's sincerely happy from her. I've grown to accept us parting ways, still It would be really comforting hearing from her she is happy. But Im reluctant to popping out of nowhere and bringing up the pain she's been through our breakup.
If you've come this far, thanks for reading. | genuinely want to know if ex-gf is happy, but not sure if asking might seem inappropriate or stir up bad feelings in her. |
t3_sopyh | dating_advice | How to get to know this guy.. | A little bit of background: We just went on the same mission trip and we were in a group together for a week, so we spent a lot of time together and I think we were both interested in each other.
Basically, I only see him once a week now, at youth group. I've known him for a few years but we were never close friends, and only acquaintances recently. Normally, I'd have no problem getting to know someone, but in this situation it is a little more difficult because I only see him once a week, and then each time it's only for a few brief minutes of small talk, if that. Anyway, he doesn't have facebook either so that doesn't help. And I don't want to be too forward, because I'm still in the process of getting to know him. (Also, if there is any type of relationship or if someone likes someone within the youth group community word travels very fast which is annoying if you're just trying to get to know someone.) Anyways, I guess I'm just looking for any suggestions from guys/girls on how I could use the small window of time I have to get to know him, etc. All advice is appreciated! (: | There's a guy who I'm sort of interested in, but I only get a chance to talk to him for a few minutes each week, so how should I go about getting to know him better? (He doesn't have a facebook, and I don't know his number either.) |
t3_fq24e | relationship_advice | Is it okay to ask what kind of a relationship we're in? | I'm 19, male and I'm wondering whether it's okay to ask what kind of a relationship I'm in with someone.
I'm particularly reluctant to do so because of the unconventional nature of the relationship (at least to me) - it's an online one, but we each know what the other looks like - to a...*good* degree.
The fact that we're quite physically close as well (as in < 3-4 hours by car) means that there is some real potential for "more than online buddies".
I've had a huge crush on this girl for a while, and while she has admitted that she likes talking to me quite a bit, she doesn't express anything more. I really had some trouble toning down my interest for her, as she did really have a more realistic feel for the relationship ("i don't really know you - so I'm not ready to say anything more than I like talking with you").
Anyways, yesterday, after much pushing from her part - we engaged in some rather explicit virtual fun. It required quite a bit of pushing from her part because I had only recently gotten my own rather idealistic romantic feelings under control, and I didn't want them popping up all over the place again after we did this.
In any case, as I had expected, I really did end up liking her even more after that experience. Today though, we haven't really talked much, and I've kept all of my feelings to myself - I haven't been "needy" with frequent "what are you up to?" questions - although I really wish she'd say something and just be more...there.
She has had a "full real" relationship before, while this is my first "relationship" (is it even one?) of any kind. Am I being too...needy? Is it okay for me to ask her what we are - just online friends with benefits, or something more?
What are your feelings on a relationship like this in general? | I'm 19, male, and online friends with someone who is physically close enough where real things could happen. Recently she pushed things to the "next level" and now after all is said and done and she seems to be more silent than usual, I'd like to ask her what kind of a relationship we have. Is that a good idea? |
t3_4i3272 | relationships | Me [21F] and my ex [20M] still talk; not sure about my decision to leave him; theres another guy | This is my first post here... I've been struggling with the decision that I (21F) made to leave my currently ex-boyfriend (20M). We were together over a year (not that long I know).
I left him because I didn't see a future with him.. I also wasn't sure if I was really "in love" with him but I know I was/am now. He isn't going to school, works at a gas station, and has no car. Although, he supports himself. He was struggling with depression and anxiety and his problems were becoming mine... It was too much for me.
I still love him, and this is the first time I left a long relationship. After leaving him, I realized how much I changed for the worse in the relationship. I became so much more negative, stopped working out, etc.
A couple months have passed now. He is seeing a therapist regularly, and is doing much better. We still talk, have been physical, and stayed the night together.
It's really hard for me to let go of him when I still love him. I'm used to being the one who gets left, and usually the relationship is pretty bad at that point. This is the first (mostly) healthy relationship I had. I still don't see much of a relationship with him...
On the other hand, there is a guy (22M) I met at a college I was going to before I met my ex. He had a crush on me when I was starting to date my ex... nothing ever did happen with this other guy. I don't go to that school anymore, but him and I have recently started talking again. He's really sweet and we have a lot in common. He's positive and just about to graduate college.
This new guy and I might go to a concert together in a month but I feel so guilty about it because I've been talking to my ex still...
I'm not sure what to do. | I (21F) broke up with my ex (20M) of over a year a few months ago because I didn't see a future with him. He isn't going to college/works at a gas station. Still talking to him/seeing him. Been talking to an old friend (22M) I briefly went to school with. Might go to a concert with him. Feeling guilty. |
t3_1m0bgf | offmychest | Are you crazy or am I paranoid? | You've got a great personality. And you're very attractive. But there are some things I'm not sure about, and I'm being cautious because I've dealt with some crazy and clingy women before.
You're sweet and cute and intelligent and I really enjoy that. Yet you've mentioned you have some anxiety and depression issues. I Know you're on meds for it, and that you're taking care of it, but I don't know how effective it is. I've learned that looks can be deceiving. Most of all, I don't know how your issues might spill over and become my problems. I have dated people that have let that happen, have made me the center of their universe, and I can't be that person.
I can't text constantly while I'm at work or school, it's disrespectful to my employers and it's a hindrance to my education. I can't take repeated calls at 2 AM where I'm told of nightmares and the taking of many different drugs in an effort to fall asleep. I can't take not being able to have a constructive argument that is critical of you or me or us because you'll take it too hard and harm yourself. I can't be the entire foundation your life is built around. But I'm willing to be a part of that.
Those things I listed are not things you've done. You don't seem like that kind of person, you respect my space so far. But I'm scared that you'll start to do those things, because I've dated that person before. I need to know you're not going to have a crisis every few days. | Been flirting with great girl, except some anxiety/depression issues have been brought up, giving me doubts because of past fucked up relationships. |
t3_4b5b0g | relationships | I [21 F] want to move forward into a relationship with date [22 M], but I am having problems doing that. | Hi, throwaway for a reason. I have this guy who I am dating but we are not official. I've dated him back in high school but it wasn't really a relationship. We barley hung out together and he would only walk me to class. I was only dating him for two months until I had to break up with him because my parents forced me to. I was only 14 years old then. I was to young in their eyes. I haven't spoken to him since then until he randomly got in contact with me in January.
Since that day, we have been spending time together, going on dates. I would like to note, that he was my only boyfriend since then. So I have been single for 6 long years. Valentines day comes and he finally asked me out. I told him no because I wanted to get to know him more and go on more dates. I don't know what happened. After that date, I was in my car driving home when suddenly I started crying. I think it was due to the fact that I knew I wouldn't have a normal intimate relationship with him due to what happened to me in childhood.
After that, I have decided to get some professional help. I'm still not in therapy since I'm on the wait list but I am in a support group that is helping me.
I have been texting him and trying to find some time to hang out. But now I'm questioning myself If i should continue this relationship or not. I do want him as my boyfriend but I'm thinking maybe its better to not be in a relationship for a while longer since I have my issues. We haven't even kissed yet and I feel really bad. We have been on 3 dates and we still haven't kissed.
I also have a really bad communication with him. There are days where I will not text him back or won't talk with him for days. I feel like If I end up dating him, I will still be acting like I'm single. He's a really nice guy. He doesn't do drugs, doesn't drink much. Has a really great personality. He hasn't even treated me wrong and He's a gentleman. What should I do? | I'm ready to be in a relationship, but the past is catching up to me. I'm questioning myself if I should move forward or not. |
t3_m3s2l | relationships | Fighting the temptation of cheating | I love my girlfriend and we (22F, 22M) have a mostly happy relationship, but the spark is completely gone. We've been together for almost 3 years, before then we were both players and slept about a bit. When we first got together our sex life was amazing. We did and tried everything, but now in the past year or so it's gone completely stale. It's once a fortnight at best, and no more than wham bam thank you ma'am. No foreplay, no anything except straight sex. When I make suggestions she laughs it off and says no, and gets annoyed or evasive when I bring up the subject of sex in conversation.
It's got to the point now where almost every girl I see I'm attracted to. I miss the excitement of meeting new girls, getting to know them, and the thrill of the chase.
This post isn't to say I'm *planning* on cheating. But I'd have liked this relationship to be forever, and I can't see that happening the way things are going.
Any tips on staying strong? Or getting the spark back? | Good relationship, miserable sex life. Desire to be with other girls growing as my sex life wanes. Girlfriend won't address the issue. |
t3_51ep70 | relationships | My (f/55) grown son (m/25) comes to my house to sleep during the day after nightshift, even though he has his own house. | My 25 year old son has a job which means he does 12 hour nightshifts 3-4 times a week, including weekends. After his nightshifts, he comes to my house an sleeps in the spare bedroom. He sleeps in my house because he says at his own house, it's too noisy.
In his own house, he has his partner, who is mostly home during weekdays as she only works weekends. They then have a one year old, then his partner has a 14 year old girl who - if it's the weekends or after school, always has at least 2 friends with her. It's the group of girls who are the noisiest. So the house is very noisy.
I don't have a problem with my son sleeping in my spare room, but I think as his mother I should try and encourage him to have a better arrangement set up in his own home so he can sleep there, for his sake. For example, if the 14 year old does have friends over, she could only have them downstairs, and they'd not be allowed upstairs when my son is sleeping. My son's partner says since the 14 year old's bedroom is upstairs she doesnt think she could tell her daughter and her friends they couldnt come upstairs. | Am I wrong to think it's a bit unconventional that my son sleeps at my house? Or since I don't mind, should I just put up with it and help him out? |
t3_1xnqbp | AskReddit | My gf's boss sexually harassed me and now im not sure what to do? | My Gf and i were exchanging sexual texts as well as pictures and other deeply personal things.
I received a very sexual message that seemed "off" and wrote "?"
this was the response i got:
"hey fobygrassman, this is {gf's coworker}, {gf's boss} got a hold of {gfs} phone and decided to fuck with you lol she knows nothing about it just so you know...he made it all up lol"
i wrote back: "np tell him i'll forward this to human resources and to expect a call from them explaining why he is going through his employee's personal belongings. Also i hope he has friends in the labor dpt. because i know i do" | Essentially, my gf's boss broke into her cell phone (easy to guess password) and texted me something sexual that pertained to something me and my gf were actually talking about |
t3_rbc5h | legaladvice | ISP threatened to cancel service due to copyright infringement, possible subpoena - I have some questions | I live with my parents and my Dad got a call from our ISP. They know I downloaded a couple movies and Bioshock recently. Sometimes I get lazy and use The Pirate Bay; what can I say? This morning, our Internet was temporarily cut off and they threatened that we could be subpoenaed within 3 years. I don't know if this means that the ISP would be compelled to provide information that identifies us, or if this mean that we would be compelled to provide evidence of illegal, copyrighted materials in our household.
Apparently, this was our second offense - the first warning was sent to my Dad's email but he thought it was junk mail. My Dad was very cooperative on the phone with them and I think he gave the impression that his kids are just fucking around on the Internet and it won't happen again.
**Here are my questions:** At this point, should I erase any evidence of illegal activities on my laptop? I really don't want to have to do this, because most of my music is pirated. I'd rather just stop downloading shit that's illegal. It's all on my laptop, not my parent's desktop. Besides, does it even matter if I get rid of this evidence? Doesn't the ISP retain proof that illegal information has been accessed? What are the chances my shit will be subpoenaed even if there is no third offense?
At least when it comes to CP, I know that you don't necessarily have to have it on your computer or even show evidence that it was on your computer at one point. If it can be shown in court that CP has been *accessed*, then you're still fucked. Is the same true for illegal movies and music? Speaking of CP, what if I may have possibly sometimes dabbled a bit on reddit jailbait and motherless.com? | ISP warned of subpoena within 3 years, especially if there is a third offense, but for now they are turning our Internet back on. Should I be worried? |
t3_1gahdq | AskReddit | Question for my holiday! | Hello people of reddit.
First of all before typing this. We are from Europe and it is within this year that my dad turns 50!
I am going with my father to Las Vegas for 7 DAYS. Yet we are planning for an Road Trip through Arizona!. Yet we are European so we have no clue where to go.
I would like to ask Reddit on what is fun to check out in Arizona. We are planning to drive about 8-10 hours an day and head back with the plane.
I want to suprise him with fun which can be done in Arizona. So please Reddit suggest me places where to go. | Going with my father on 3 day trip in Arizona. Help and Tips are welcomed. |
t3_m23e9 | AskReddit | What is the most embarrassing thing you've hidden, and then forgotten where it is? | About 7 or 8 years ago I bought a fleshlight. For interest sake, more than anything, and because I certainly wasn't getting any from a real woman. In any case, this story isn't about my 'forever aloneness'. I was still living with my folks, and I was about to head overseas for a year or more. This created a dilemma. Where to hide the fleshlight. I couldn't hide it in my room, for risk of it being found by my parents. Dad has a pretty large garage which is crazy messy. It's a large 2 car garage, yet only 1 car fits snugly in. I decided this would be a good place to hide the fleshlight - dad's never going to clean the thing, or at least I figured I'd be back in the country and be able to retrieve my embarrassing item before anyone found it. I hid it down the back in what I thought was a pretty good spot. Too good a spot, it turns out. Fast forward a year and a half and I'm home. I wait until everyone is out, and look for the fleshlight. Cannot find. I search for an hour or more. Still no dice. After a few attempts I give up. I'm pretty sure it hasn't been found - well, that's what I'm hoping. A few months back dad retired. Messaged me saying he was cleaning up the garage. Now I live in fear he's going to find the small backpack, locked with a tiny travel lock, containing my fleshlight and a bottle of lube. So, what's the most embarrassing thing you've hidden, and then forgotten where it is? | Hid fleshlight in parents garage, never found it again. |
t3_2ajpra | relationships | How long before sex should occur in a relationship? | I've been seeing/talking to this girl for roughly a year; we knew each other well a year prior to that. I've casually brought up the idea of sex a handful of times, and each time, he's rebutted that she's simply not ready yet. How much longer do I have to wait? Is it wrong to not want to continue the relationship if after a year, she's still not comfortable enough to have sex with me?
Personally, I feel that if you're not comfortable with the idea of engaging in intercourse, you're not really ready for a full blown, exclusive relationship. Sex isn't the deciding factor; don't get me wrong. But it's undoubtfully part of the relationship, no?
Help please.
M/22, F/21 | How long is too long without sex? Wants official, exclusive but unwilling to engage in sex -- lack of trust? |
t3_2qmcim | relationship_advice | Wife use to be sexual, doesn't allow me to have sex more than 2x a month, it's driving me crazy. | [33/m] My wife [31/f] has a low sex drive.
Ok so been married for almost 10 years. Got married very young and have changed a lot since that time. We used to be very sexually active. My wife and I met each other in our partying days. Since then we have both chilled out a lot except I put all that energy into other things and she hasn't. I am a very active person I enjoy being fit, dieting, working out and she is the exact opposite. I think living this lifestyle raises my natural testosterone levels causing me to have a high sex drive.
Because of this I find our levels of sexual desire to be completely off track. She never approaches me or tells me she wants sex, I have to chase or beg her usually and even then I get it only about once every two weeks, but i would like to have sex every couple of days. I think a lot of it comes from her not being happy with herself so I buy her things to wear lingerie that cover a lot of things on her body that make her uncomfortable. Which sometimes I can tell she likes and then other times she acts like it is the biggest hassle in the world. Ultimately I have come to the conclusion that she will never lose weight or live an active life style. Because of that I have realized I can't change her and trying is frustrating and pointless as it only leads to more fighting. I am just learning to deal with it and accept that, we're married and there's no law in marriage that says she has to weigh, or look a certain way.
I have been with her almost my entire adult life and would be happy staying married to her forever but this is a constant frustration and I wonder if temptation will get the best of me, and if it does, is it then my fault or was it cause and effect? I hate having to beg her to have sex with me, it gets me extremely aggravated and makes me feel very unwanted. | Wife use to be sexual, no longer allows me to have sex more than 2x a month, it's driving me crazy. |
t3_2hr2zu | relationships | My GF(21 F) ~1 year is grossed out by sex with me (24 M) | 3 months ago when she was having a party she let a guy friend crash in her bed, because he was hammered. When she finally passed out at 5 in the morning next to him, he woke up and fooled around with her while she was sleeping. In the morning she woke up naked and freaked the fuck out. She had no idea what happened, he said "don't you remember kissing me" and honestly thought she wanted to hook up with him, she has no recollection of saying that, or kissing him.
After that night she gets grossed out when I start to get sexual with her, or touch her in a sexual way. We have always had amazing sex up to this point; she told me I was the only guy who could get her off from penetration alone. But since this happened we have only had sex once, and I could tell she was not enjoying it at all, but doing it just to please me. We are still affectionate and cuddle/sleep together most nights. She said she isn't grossed out by me but, just by sex. We haven't had sex in a long time, and I don't know how to help her besides telling her I am there for her as long as it takes. But damn is spooning with her naked hard. | GF was taken advantage off when drunk, and is now grossed out by sex |
t3_qdu5e | relationships | So this is a long one, but an ex best friend wants to be friends again, and I'm not sure I can do it. | So this isn't a short story, but I will try to condense it as much as possible. Luckily, I don't need a throwaway :D
So this girl, let's call her Jenny (not her real name but JUST in case she Reddits..). We are both 17 now, but were 14 when we met. We had been best friends for about two years. We hit it off right away, and were always talking and hanging out. At first, I was ok with being just friends (I had other love interests). By the end of sophomore year (almost 2 years after we became best friends) I finally admitted to her that I loved her. She was understandably surprised (or not) and I gave her some time.
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She started acting really weird towards me about two weeks after I told her. I was trying to get over her and we just didn't talk about it. But then she had knee surgery, I jumped in to help take care of her. About a month after I told her, we all camped in the field at her house for her birthday. She avoided me like the plague here.
I ended up leaving the next month to go do exchange in Sweden. That was 7 months ago (beginning of August 2011). Right after I left, we had a massive fight because I asked her why she was acting weird. She ended up calling me about every name in the book and telling me to fuck off.
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Jump to present date. She texts me while I am back in the USA for a visit. She ends up saying she wants to be friends again. I say "we will see, let's just start with talking" and she jumps right into the best friend routine. She calls me "bud" and tries to act just how we did.
My issue is that, I don't think I can do it. I don't think I can avoid either, a) Falling for her again, or B) Not being able to be her friend and ending it with another big fight.
*What do I do Reddit? | Best friend of two years, who I loved, told me to fuck off after a fight while I was out of country. Now that I'm back to visit, she wants to be best friends and I don't think I can do it. |
t3_4pexqt | relationships | Me [32 M] with a woman I was dating [22 F] for just over 1 month, have decided to take a break | We were dating for approximately one month, then she moved back home for the summer. Our dating relationship continued until recently, when she entered the uncertainty phase of dating. She has many feelings, which she wouldn't go into much detail with me, and it's causing her to ask the questions: "am I right for her as a romantic partner" and "am I the one."
I don't have a good track record with long distance relationships, which it has not been making me happy, and coupled with her uncertainty, I mentioned to her that we should take a break (over summer until she returns in the fall, then pick up where we left off). She agreed to the break.
I also have feelings of uncertainty, causing me to ask one question at the moment: am I the right person to make her happy? It also seems early to me that she's already thinking of me being "the one." I wasn't certain how to respond to her regarding that, as our relationship is still new.
The question to all of you is: overall, what guidance do you have regarding breaks? What do/would you do over a break in a relationship? Do you date other people / do you not? Would you wait to move on until the fall, or until she has her feelings towards me straightened out? Do you stay in contact; and, what is a good frequency of contact? How do you go about reinitiating? Of course reinitiating begs the question of something like, what feelings of certainty will she have towards me at the end of the break. | I decided we need a break in our short relationship while she is away for the summer. I'm bad with long distance relationships, and she is going through the uncertainty phase of dating. How do you approach breaks, and how do you reinitiate? |
t3_gzozm | running | It was rainy all day and the trail was muddy but I continued with day two. | I started C25k on Tuesday. It went alright but I was exhausted 75% of the way through but managed to finish.
Today the weather had been crappy and it was a bit of a downpour on the drive home and I had almost convinced myself not to run "It's too wet, it will be really muddy, I'll just d it tomorrow" Like so many things in my life I was planning to just put it off. Deep down (not that deep) I knew if I put off today because of some rain or mud next time it would be too humid, or too hot.
I decided that even though it was raining I would at least *start* my run and if it was really that bad at least I did *something*. It seemed like as soon as I put my shorts and shoes on, the rain stopped and I had a nice relatively dry run.
I think I did a lot of things better this time too. I stretched more than I did the first day and I think that helped me go further (65% instead of 30%) before my calves really started to burn.
I think part of it was better pacing too. I'm generally a pretty fast walker so the first day my walking was pretty fast so my jogging had to be even faster. So the first day I was out of energy with still half the time left leaving me to finish with arms and legs flailing trying to propel myself forward. Today I slowed down my walking and jogging speeds but I was able to keep pretty consistent speeds the entire time.
I think this also helped the rest of my form as well. Since I wasn't as drained it was easier for me to keep my head up (at least more so than the first day) and my arms weren't flying around as much so I don't have nearly as much soreness in my shoulders.
After the first day I couldn't imagine how I would get out there and do it again but today I actually enjoyed myself and am glad I went running. I'm looking forward to going out again on Saturday. | Finding a better pacing made a big difference. I think I could really like this. |
t3_2iqcuy | tifu | TIFU By being nice enough to play with all the kids at a party | Not today, but 5 days ago. I was at a party and there were 6 kids (ages 2-6) there. 1 hour into the party, and the kids were starting to get restless and were doing marginal damage to the host's house.
I took it upon myself (along with the urging from my wife) to play a game with the kids, and initiated a kids catwalk competition. Out of the six kids, one of the girls Elle (not her real name), 6 years old, didn't participate and just kinda stood away in the corner. Didn't even wanna join in when I invited her in a few times. Her younger brother jumped straight in and played along without hesitation though.
Anyway, all was going well and kids were beginning to have fun when I decided to do an impromptu Charlie's Angel's pose for the three girls there. Snapped a pic, big smiles, good fun.
Elle came back shortly later and joined in when she saw the fun happening, so i thought all was well. Kids played, done deal, say thanks and good bye, go home.
Next day, I whatsapped the picture to the party group, and immediately the dad of Elle messaged me back personally asking why his daughter wasn't in the pic. At first I incredulously asked him if he was kidding, but the bugger was serious and asked that I should include his kid (the bugger's daughter wasn't even around to take the pic!), and that I should have included her in the game. He even asked me to view it from his perspective. | Got accused by bugger father that I didn't include his daughter in a party game when she didn't want to participate and refused to join in |
t3_2omdhy | relationships | My [24 M] (I'm 23 F, dating two years) brings up ex girlfriends and other passive aggressive issues when he's stressed | My boyfriend can be immature. I don't know why, but sometimes he seems to get passive aggressive when someone asks something of him that reminds him of maturity or adulthood or seems stupid to him.
A few weeks ago, I asked him to bring back a container I had left at his apartment so I could bake something to take to his sister's football viewing party. He forgot the container, and since I don't ask too much of him in that regard, I was pretty angry. He couldn't understand why I felt that way, and made fun of me for over reacting. He then proceeded to give me life updates on some of his ex girlfriends over the next week.
We're both looking for jobs (about to graduate, both of us), so we're stressed. We've been together a couple of years and this pattern has happened before. I just wish I knew if how to talk to him about it without feeling like I'm crazy. | how do I talk to my boyfriend about passive aggressive/disrespectful things he does without him turning the tables on me to make me sound/feel crazy? |
t3_3utn01 | relationships | Me [17 M] with my new (almost) girlfriend [15 F] as of last week, and I don't feel like its something that I should do because of the age gap | Long story short, Me and and this chick (lets call her Chloe) have met summer before school started created and have had a bond of sisterly and brotherly love for around 3 months.
Up until it has been revealed that she has had a crush on me for around a month and I have feelings for her as well (only recently did I fell this way).
We have talked recently and quite honestly I do not know what to do. I do like her for who she is however she is a freshmen, I am a senior, the age gap there is too much and is more weird especially since it is a High School environment. Furthermore I am one who takes relationships seriously I am not a fuckboy.
Many people are mixed match about it. Many guy friends why not go for it where as many female friends are creating negativity towards us calling us weird and "not right."
So fellow Redditors, I ask of you, Should I drop it before it gets too serious or keep it going for who knows how long we last? | Fell for a girl but I don't know if I should keep it going cause of the age. |
t3_1dbvyv | AskReddit | What's the most inappropriate ringtone you've ever heard at work or any equally awkward social gathering? | **Just got a new office job, want to make a lasting, first impression. Most up-voted reply will be loaded to my phone and reaction video / audio posted here...**
I'll be upfront for those who are undoubtably hoping to get me fired... It's highly unlikely I will be let go or even reprimanded, here's why;
Firstly because I was born and currently work in Australia (I could wear nothing but a pair of skid marked boxers to work with a pair of mismatched pluggers(thongs/sandles) as shoes and it would be perfectly acceptable...
As I am the only creative within our company I was primarily hired as their mobile graphic designer but really after reading my résumé they wanted me to to shake things up a bit and encourage the other staff to think outside the box / facilitate fruitful brainstorms and proactive idea generation etc...
Finaly, today was my first day... (And as I've always done before) I have only introduced myself as 'Pants' (a highschool nickname, can't remember the origin) to those met so far, directly report to or currently sit... This serves two purposes 1# It creates a liable and confusing persona mental word association when something goes wrong... No one ever gets mad if some guy called 'Pants' does something inappropriate?!
There is an all staff address on Thursday, where I'll be introduced. so you have until then to share
/ vote | most up voted reply will be applied to my phone and reactions recorded at my first all staff address (at new job) in 3 days... |
t3_19l8th | relationships | I (19f) cannot get my mother to like my boyfriend (m29) | I met a boy who is 10 years older than me. He is great, we have a lot in common and I am just so happy whenever I'm around him. We have been together for more then four months now, and I feel so lucky to have met him. He is a bartender and got out of a five year relationship before we started going out. My mother does not approve of our relationship. she says he is too old for me (she and my dad are 8 years apart), she hates the fact that he is not Jewish (I don't agree with her, I don't think you shouldn't date a person just because they were not bought up by the same religion as you, also I'm more atheist than Jewish), she thinks a 29 year old should be more then a bartender and so on. We have been agreeing over my relationship for months now, and it just gets worse and worse. So bad that I don't even want to talk to her because I just get depressed right after. It's not just the relationship we argue over its also my life choices. I got a beautiful tattoo that she completely denys I have. She hates that I'm not living in the same country as her (I was miserable there, and here I'm free and happy). I love her so much and I don't want to lose touch with her. I really want her to meet my boyfriend when she comes to visit, but I'm afraid she'll make a scene in front of him. I don't know what to do, I need help. how do I make her support my decisions? | moved to a different country from parents, met a guy who is 10 years older and not Jewish, my mom does not approve |
t3_4ikguy | jobs | I could possibly be laid off in the next two years, I don't want to screw my coworkers over though by jumping ship. Help! | I work for a local government agency that might be outsourced in the next couple years. I love my job, I love the people I work with, I have good benefits and I make a decent salary.
The problem is that the local government board has made a proposal to privatize my agency and with that would lay off all the employees where I work. I just bought a house and I have a toddler and I want more children in the near future, so despite me loving my job and the people in it, I'm very concerned with my future working here.
When I first heard rumblings of possible layoffs, in a panic, I sent out a bunch of applications and resumes. I don't want to seem like I'm jumping ship, and my leaving would cause more problems for my agency, but I'm also trying to look out for myself and my family because I'm the main breadwinner of my family.
I heard back from two applications I sent in and one of them would be a significant raise from what I currently make and I'd get to keep all my benefits because it's still within the same government organization. It's possible this privatization wouldn't occur at all and so we've been told by the director of my current job that it's business as usual until we have more information (which could be for another year).
I feel like a sitting duck and I'm afraid if I don't jump at the opportunity to interview for this other position, I may lose it and be unemployed altogether, but I also don't want to leave my coworkers and bosses in the lurch. It's also very possible that I don't get this other position at all, but I'd have to ask for time off to interview for it and I feel awkward about doing that. Should I interview? How do I bring it up to my current employers? Am I being selfish? | Might be laid off from current job that I like, should I jump ship for a better paying job even though I don't want to cause more problems for my coworkers? |
t3_p0mwa | relationship_advice | Close Friend Asking Mutual Friend if I Like Her | I've been good friends with this girl for about 6 months now. We used to hangout everyday, watch movies together, go on walks, etc. During this time I started to really like her, however I didn't ask her out because she was still trying to get over her last relationship, and she was rather open that she didn't want a boyfriend at the time.
Then came winter break, since we live in separate states we had to part ways for the month. We spoke to each other everyday via text or Skype and I think we became a little bit closer despite not being able to see each other for a month. She became much more open to me about personal problems, and would come to me for advice.
Then Spring Semester started. She has a very heavy workload this semester (17 credit hours plus multiple clubs) and hasn't been able to hangout much. Over break and since the beginning of the semester I've made a few suggestions of things that we could do on the weekend and she seemed pretty open to them.
Or so I thought until two days ago. One of our mutual friends told me that she was feeling pressured to do stuff with me and that she felt like she had no room to breathe. I was then told that she had asked our friend if I liked her, the friend's response was "no" even though they know that the truth is the exact opposite. I have since worked out the "pressuring" problem, I think, with the girl. I won't truly know until Monday because she went back home for the weekend.
Considering how little we've hung out this semester so far I'm not sure if she's avoiding me or if work really is taking up all of her time.
I'm now left wondering if I should go ahead and tell her how I feel. I'm about 95% certain that she does not feel the same towards me. I just feel that if she is wondering if I like her it'd be best to tell her myself instead of one of our friends telling her. So, should I go ahead and tell her even though I'm certain to fail? Even if she does say no, would it benefit our friendship if I were to open about this? | I really like this girl that I'm close friends with. I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me. Should I tell her how I feel anyway? |
t3_4ufegc | relationships | How can I [20M] go no contact with my best friend [20F] due to unreciprocated feelings, or should I continue friendship? | I'm not sure if a backstory is 100% necessary for this situation, so if you need more context I'll gladly answer in the comments.
Basically, I have developed feelings for my best friend. I have decided not to tell her or ask her out because I don't think it would go over well and do not want to put myself in that awkward situation.
This girl is my absolute best friend, I know I can go to her for anything whenever, and she will always be there. I really do not want to have to distance myself / go no contact but I know it is best for me. The thoughts of the what ifs we were together and thinking about her are mentally exhausting and I can no longer do it.
I guess I'm pretty much asking what is the best way of distancing myself to lose these feelings? Since we have some mutual friends and I really care about her I just have no clue on how to go about this, or what to do. | Developed feelings for my best friend and need to distance myself, don't know how since I care about her so much and we have mutual friends. |
t3_t5vll | AskReddit | How can I cope with a very smelly office mate? | I share a very small office with a very sweet guy. The only thing is, he smells so fucking bad. He kind of smells like sour milk, as bizarre as that sounds. He seems to never bathe and he wears the same god damn filthy clothes every day. No joke, I can tell if he is in the office before I even open the door and the smell will linger after he leaves. It is really bad and I find it difficult to work.
I just can't talk to him about it and I have decided that this is not an option. I have tried various air fresheners (expensive plug-in ones as well) but nothing seems to work. We are PhD students so the rule of law is kind of lord of the flies... I can't simply tell a boss so I have to resolve this myself.
Has anybody been in a similar situation? How have you dealt with it? What air fresheners do you recommend in case I have not tried it? I know you will say I should grow some balls and crush this insecure guy's self-esteem, but honestly reddit, I cannot. | My office mate reeks to high heaven and I don't know what to do. |
t3_13188b | relationships | My girlfriend [25f] has no manners and it's | My girlfriend and I have a fairly decent, average, relationship with about one exception. Her manners are so bad that I'm embarrassed every time we eat with friends/family and I'm starting to get frustrated even when it's just her and I to the point where I have a hard time being "normal" around her eating.
I'm not a picky person by any means and in general am very tolerant of people who don't do things "my way" but after three years of listening to her chew with her mouth open, bite her fork/spoon when she takes a bite, play with her food, and shovel it into her mouth bit by bit I'm about at my wits end. I certainly don't expect royal manners or anything of that variety but I am slowly realizing that general manners are a must in my relationship.
I know the old adage of "just talk to her" (we really do talk about almost everything, very open) but I have a particularly hard time, I think, because I feel like it's not my responsibility to coach her in proper social manners. It feels a bit father-like and I get the "its not my job to teach her manners" every time I consider talking about it. It's the details that get to me, is it best to try and train her in every nuance that makes up good manners ("don't bite your fork, don't chew with your mouth open, don't pick at your food with your fingers") or should I just generally say "you need to work on your manners" and hope that she gets it?
It's not just her eating habits, she seems to have been taught very few social manners but I thought it best to start here and see if I can figure out an easy way to approach such a topic. | Girlfriend and I have a fairly healthy relationship but she lacks very basic manners and it's really starting to get to me. I have no idea how to successfully approach her and discuss it because I feel strange taking that role. |
t3_2m7q0d | relationships | Should I [33 M] move on and forget about a girl [25 F] even though we had something going on | So I met a girl a long time ago and we flrited around a little bit but nothing ever happened because I was getting out of a divorce and she was still seeing other people. A year or so went by and I was ready to start seeing people again. So we started seeing each other and we went out and she stayed the night a few times.
Seeing as though this was the first girl I had seen in a while I tend to keep her at a distance even though I liked her. Well I ended up pushing her into someone else that she is seeing now. She gave me the old we should just be friends for now and if something happens in the future then we will go from there line.
I realized I really do like her and want to actually persue a relationship with her without pushing her away and see where it goes. But she is seeing someone else. She still text me all the time and wants to talk. Should I take that as a sign of still interested, or is she keeping me around in case her current relationship doesnt work out, or is she really just wanting to be friends?
And should I move on? | Dated my first girl after my divorce and pushed her away too much. Realized later I really do like her but shes seeing someone else She still talks to me but dont know if its friendship talk or still interested? |
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