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t3_4p0p8a | relationships | My(M25) Gf(F23) told me she feels more like roommates than a couple. | We just hit our 4 year mark and I feel like things are going good. Then last night she told me about how she feels.
Said she's really stressed out with balancing work and school as well as my 3rd shift work schedule. We only see eachother a couple times a week. So we don't have much sex either. She's been not very accepting of my advances.
She says I'm on my phone a lot and this is true but I've been working on it. And most of the time when she gets home from work before I go to work, I'm playing video games because Ive already had my whole day to do stuff and im just relaxing.
We've talked about it a bit and we decided to try to get together for lunch more when she's at work and to work on our sex lives more. Im just worried that the sex will be forced and it'll back fire on us.
For clarity, when we ARE together, we are pretty active. We try to go out for drinks and see whatever shows come to town when we have the money. I asked her if im doing anything that makes her see me as unattractive. She said no. I told her I'd do what it takes to get us good again. She's not "mad" at me for anything it's just how she's felt the last 2 weeks.
If anyone has any advice for me on how to proceed, I'd really appreciate hearing what you have to say. | she's not feeling as close to me as she used to. Not sure where to go from here |
t3_1p0x0s | relationships | My Ex-FWB[24F] is spreading strange rumors about me[25M]....do I confront or ignore? | I posted on here a while ago about my situation where a girl I was sort of seeing, I guess we were FWBs, and I got into a huge falling out after she slept with a delivery man (yes, I know).
Two weeks ago, I was at a school harbor cruise and she was there. I saw her but we didn't speak as usual the whole night. At the end of the night as I was leaving the parking deck to go out, she shouted my name and came to me. She awkwardly shook my hand and said she was drunk, followed me to a bar, told me she had forgiven me and we could be civil in school but that she couldn't be friends with me if I didn't like her, sat with me and made small talk for nearly 45 minutes after telling me that and then left. We haven't spoken since.
A friend of mine told me last week she had been spreading rumors that I was stalking her and that I had hooked up with her best friend. The strangest part is, they were saying I was well endowed and great in bed.... which was super weird. I hadn't spoken to her or seen her except in class since mid-August, so I'm not sure how I am stalking her.
Anyway, I don't think it has gained much traction. One person who didn't even know me assumed it was true. Do I confront her about this or just try to ignore it and hope she stops? It's pretty clear she's trying to become friends again after chasing me down and telling me what she said 2 weeks ago, but I can't if she's doing that kind of crap. I just want her to leave me alone at this point. | ex girl I was seeing tracked me down after a party, followed me to a bar to tell me she forgave me for getting angry and saying mean things to her, but didn't want to be friends, while trying to make small talk, then heard about her spreading untrue rumors around campus. |
t3_nuy60 | personalfinance | Best Way to Sell My [Recently Purchased] Car? | Earlier this year, I got a new job and figured the best thing to do was go out and buy a car. I realize now the error of my ways. It's a 2006 Mercedes C230, the payment is about $300/month (financed for 7 years). I ~~paid~~ financed $16,200 for it.
My wife and I sat down and did our monthly budget, and while we have $400 or so left over to pay down our other debts after every other bill/expense we can think of (barring some unknown emergency expense), to have an extra $300 or so on top of that would be awesome. I admit that when I bought the car I was looking at basically spending each dollar of our budget, and what we "could [technically] afford" (vs what we actually need), and I'm looking for a clean way out.
Ran some Blue Book numbers, its about $15,900 if you bought it from a dealer and about $13,200 (very good condition) as a private party sale. I was half joking with a friend last night and he said he would trade his car to me and take over the payments, but I'm not sure how this would work or how feasible it is. Would it be possible to "sell" it to him (or someone else) for something like $14,000 to pay down my loan, and he/they gives me their car then I finish making payments on the remainder of my loan? I admit, I don't know much about auto loans or transferring a title in that regard. It would just be really, really nice to have a few extra hundred in our account every month and I realize now that having a nicer car isn't worth the tradeoff when you've got debt in other places ($40k in student loans, $5k in credit cards, $1.5k in in-store credit accounts [needed a fridge]). Any thoughts other than "Wow, why the fuck would you buy a new car when you got a better job instead of enjoying your new income and focusing on paying down your existing debt." | How do I (legally, obviously) rid myself of this auto loan? Trade in, private sale, trade to friend? |
t3_3fybq3 | Advice | Advice about girlfriend's sister | Hi all,
I'm looking for some advice on what to do in regards to my girlfriend's sister. We (my gf and I) aren't quite 18 yet, but I have a serious issue with the way her sister treats her. AFAIK, my gf is nothing but kind, or at least complacent when it comes to her sister. Her sister, however, treats her like shit, calls her a whore, complains when she (my gf) has the phone for "too long" (some arbitrary amount of time approximately 7 seconds in length). I'm tired of it, my gf is tired of it, but TBH, she's not gonna do anything about it, because she would get in trouble. So, my question to you is, can anyone offer any advice on how I can help my girlfriend? | my Gf's sister is a bitch and treats her like shit. I want to change that. |
t3_zxexy | AskReddit | People of Reddit who have gotten their appendix removed, how long did it take for you to completely feel better? | I got mine removed Thursday morning and I am still in a significant amount of pain. (I had a bad infection) They remove the appendix differently now by only making 3 small incisions, which is good. A lot of the doctors told me some people go back to work as early as 2-3 days later. I can't even imagine that. They say it's going to get better and better everyday but I feel like today is the same as yesterday. I still haven't pooped, I still can't cough without it hurting very bad, I still can't get up and down normally. The doctors made it seem like I should be feeling almost back to normal by now. | I'm not feeling as close to better as the doctor and nurses made it seem like I would by now. How long did it take you to feel better after the surgery? |
t3_3gd3z8 | relationships | I (20M) need advice as to how to breakup with my new girlfriend (20F) with no hard feelings | So I started dating this new girl I met from okcupid, we've been talking for a few months and we finally decided to go on a date last week. I had a great time and I really like her, so over the course of the last week we went on a couple more dates and during one of them I spontaneously asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. I think that might've been a mistake because ever since then, I've had this feeling of dread in my gut and I don't know why. I brought her home to my parents and they don't really approve of her (she hasn't finished highschool, she's got no job, no ambitions) and what they told me really made me open my eyes.
She's really cool, but she looks a lot different from her pictures and I don't know how to feel about it. I guess I'm not as attracted to her as I should be and I kind of regret asking her out. I know that's super shallow of me but I just don't feel right about this relationship, and I wish I didn't ask her out but it's too late. How can I breakup with her without ripping her heart out? She really likes me and I don't know what to say to her. I just don't know how to go about breaking up with someone when they've done nothing wrong... | I asked a girl out successfully and I regretted it almost immediately. How do I break up with her without being a huge asshole? |
t3_31jobe | relationships | Me [19M] with my Friend [23F] - Her friend is sort of a dick. | Hey, so I'm having a bit of an argument/issue with a "friend" I have. I'll be addressing her as Shana, and her other friend(the dick) as John(27M).
For some details before-hand: John previously had a crush on Shana, and didn't really have it go anywhere. I've been told by multiple people I've vented to(And witnessed it first hand) hes a dick to her friends, and he pretty much ruined a relationship for her before I got involved.
I've known Shana for a little while now, however- we didn't recently start hanging out/doing stuff with each other for a few hours a day until recently. John has known her for quite some time however.
In the beginning of me and Shana hanging out, John would sorta tag-along, and he was fine at first- but then he started being passive aggressive to me, insulting my ability to do things, and upright personally insulting me at some points, and Shana didn't really... say anything, at least not in front of me.
So, I don't really like being disrespected, and this is the conversation I had with Shana shortened/summarized:
Me: In the future don't invite me to do stuff if John will be present. I don't like him, or his attitude, or how he treats you, your friends, and myself.
Shana: Oh. Well, John isn't really for everyone. That's okay. Sorry you feel that way.
So this lasts about 3 weeks, except- every time Shana has a problem with John, she comes to me to vent about it... and today was sort of the day I snapped, Why would I want to hear about someone I dislike, every time you have a problem with them- When I told you, you should probably end the friendship(Unfair of me, but it was just a suggestion)
I don't really enjoy being friends with Shana any more because of it. Am I in the wrong here? | Friend has an extreme dick as a friend whos rude to all her friends, and even her at some points- refuses to get rid of him, vents to me about him, I am just about done with our friendship cause of it. |
t3_16x93p | loseit | Bad dealer stories | So guys I've discovered the absolute worst kind of dealer: The nice one.
I should start by saying he's actually a second hand dealer, as in I give him the money, he goes to his guy and then brings it to me.
The first time I bought an eighth, I give him the money and he buys it, then he wasn't able to get it to me for about a week, but every time he has a totally solid excuse and promises to have it for tomorrow.
Now this would normally send alarm bells ringing, but the bloke is so fucking nice about it, apologetic and reassuring.
I eventually got the eighth.
But this time it was too far, I bought a half oz from the guy, forking over A$200 for it, he gives it to me and it looks like barely over an eighth - when I received it I was unwilling to say anything, as this guy has been smoking for years, and would probably dismiss anything I said with that.
okay so we chucked it on my mates scale, didn't even register, electronic scale too, accurate to 1g.
But the reason he's so dangerous, is that he has a very trustworthy demeanor and you just can't believe that this guy would rip you off.
I'm gonna contact him and try to get my money back, cause this sucks so damn much. | dealer rips me off, but is really nice and makes you want to trust him. |
t3_1q5usk | relationships | I [19/M] can't find the courage to talk to girl [18/F] of my dreams | I met this girl way back at the start of the semester. She was my type to a T and right away I wanted to get to know her. I introduced myself after the first class and we chatted a little bit. But since then i have yet to talk to her.
I keep telling myself that i will talk to her after class since she walks the same route back to the dorms that i walk. But each time class is about to end, i start freaking out and stressing. I think about what could go wrong or how easy it would be to just not approach her.
The issue is that i'm perfectly find talking to attractive girls. I consider myself somewhat attractive so there's no self-esteem problems, i just can't find the social confidence to talk to this one girl out of a million. Has anyone faced this problem or have any advice? The semester is almost over and I don't want to miss this chance. | can't seem to bring myself to talk to girl of dreams after class |
t3_2ffho6 | relationships | Me [22M] with my SO [19F] 6 months. Understanding partying perspectives in a relationship. | My girlfriend and I have gone back and forth in our relationship when it comes to partying. I've been in a fraternity in college for quite some time now and now that I've found a relationship worthwhile to me I've cut out a lot of my partying.
My girlfriend however goes to about one party a weekend with her sorority sisters and she rarely drinks. While I have been cheated on in the past, I try not to allow that to creep into my current relationship in regards to trust issues, but I'm very anxious about my girlfriend going out every weekend. She says she only goes to parties to just have fun. To go out with the girls, to meet new people and to socialize. It reenergizes her, where-as I re-energize by some time at spent at home. There has yet to be a party since we've been dating that she hasn't been hit on and she is honest about it when it happens and says she shuts the situation down before it would even become a problem. This makes me feel better in regards to the fact that she shuts it down, but I'm constantly worried one of these guys will be 'just good enough' for her to change her mind about coming home to me.
I trust her in the sense that I don't think she would go out and cheat, but the reasons for her going to parties does really make me feel uncomfortable and I want others perspectives on if maybe I'm just not mature enough for this situation yet, I'm being selfish, I'm stupid, I'm controlling, etc. I don't want to drive my girlfriend away and I want to become comfortable with this situation so that our relationship can grow. She deserves to have her time and I don't want to take partying away from her if it is her escape. Hopefully you can add insight here. | I've grown out of partying, while my girlfriend is in her peak. She goes to parties to socialize, have fun and meet people, but rarely drinks. She gets hit on at every party but shuts it down and relays this info to me. It's making me feel uncomfortable, I need some outsider perspective on how I can help make this relationship grow. |
t3_2mni8j | relationships | Me [24 M] created a fake fb profile to check if my best friends [19 F] boyfriend [26 M] is willing to cheat on her. He is! | So I had a feeling that my friend's boyfriend is hiding something. He did not accept her friend request on Facebook and only took time to meet her twice a month. He works 20 minutes away from her and always said he is having very long shifts and is too tiered after work. Often he cancels dates the last minute.
So I decided to create a fake Facebook account and text him as a nice looking girl. He took the bait and told me he was single and he wants to meet me.
What should I do? I don't know if I tell my best friend, talk to him or keep it to me. Talking to her will hurt our friendship and trust very badly.
_____________ | I created a fake Facebook account to check my friends boyfriend and he said he is singel. |
t3_4lvr09 | relationships | Half the time of past relationship to get over it | [27F] On 3rd date [30M], the topic of past relationships comes up. I told him my last relationship with my ex lasted 4 years and some change. He asked me how long ago that was and I said a little over a year ago that we broke up. He looks at me doubtfully and says, "Doesn't it take half the time of your last relationship to get over it?" I was taken aback by his question and didn't know how to respond.
Truth is, my ex and I had a falling out and it was pretty much a mutual split. We got a ton of closure. I've been No Contact with him for a year after I moved out all my stuff. It was a great relationship and I learned a lot about myself during that time. It will always be a part of me, but I'm over it and I'm over my ex. | Is it a red flag if I'm dating less than 2 years after my 4 year relationship? I don't see how an arbitrary time frame determines how "over my ex" I am. I've had time to reflect and I know what happened. I don't have any regrets. But would this potentially scare off guys anyway? I'm serious about being in an ltr. I'm not looking for hook ups and rebound sex. |
t3_2p90ac | relationships | Should I [f18] tell him [m24] I hooked up with someone else or should I simply break up and spare his feelings? | We have been together for 4 months and our relationship isn't exactly the best but it's working.
Anyways I'm going to avoid a wall of text and just get to the point: This Friday (while being drunk) I made out with another guy for a couple of minutes but as soon as I stopped I felt extremely shitty and I'm really suprised that I did it.
I really can't hide it and continue with this relationship so this is what it has come to, break up with him and tell him I want someone closer to my age, that we have way to different lives and that I'm really busy with school. Or I simply tell him I hooked up with someone else. But here's the tricky part, about a year ago his engagement ended because of his fiancee cheating with his best friend. He has already said that his family doesn't want him to date [my nationality] because of us cheating which makes it even harder.
I have no idea how he will react to it and I don't want to make it harder for both of us since my conscience is already giving me hell and I don't want to open his old wounds. I figured it's easier to deal with a "simple" break up than knowing that 2 people cheated on you. | I hooked up with someone else and don't know whether I should break up with him and spare his feelings or come clean? |
t3_2u8z41 | travel | Should I go to America with BUNAC or organise a trip myself? | I have applied to work in the USA this summer in a camp. This will cost me somewhere in the region of £500 to get out there, and then add on more to travel for 2-3 weeks after that. For working out there I will get paied £900 so that gives me some 'profit'. I have more money (say around £1000) to travel with saved as £300 will do jack shit for travel.
I have recently been weiging up my choices. If I do my regular summer job in Ireland, I can make £1500 and then travel out there at the end of August. I feel like this may be a better option as I won't have to worry about disliking the work at the camps, and will make more money that can finance my trip. However then I won't have the experience of working in the camp!
Anyone done BUNAC or Camp America or something of the like? Would you recommend the experience in terms of enjoyment and value for money?
Thanks | Is BUNAC better than travelling alone? |
t3_1s57n0 | relationships | [dating] Me [15 M] and my crush [16 F] 2 months, I have a question about love. | So I've had a crush on the aforementioned girl for about 2 months. And no doubt have I absolutely fell for this girl. I get excited to see her everyday. And she's one of the funniest girls I've ever known.
The next thing you need to know is that I've never been able to say to someone "I love you." Love seems like a strong emotion to me. Even though I've had girlfriends before I never told them I loved them (please don't think badly of me, I just don't feel comfortable with saying it unless I'm sure)
So here's my question. How do I know if I'm "in love?" I know people have and will always tell me,"no one can tell you what love is, you just know it." By that statement I'm not sure if I've ever felt love. So can you guys help me out? Any experiences of your own? Any signs to look for? Anything would be helpful. | I'm super into this girl but I'm not sure if I love her. |
t3_33ca11 | relationships | Me [29 M] with my friend [25 F] of 1,5 years, she never message me first | So I have this girl that I really like. She is cute, smart and I just feel attracted to her. I message her sometimes every other day for weeks, sometimes I don't for weeks. She is answering most of the times, except for few occasions and I like to talk to her. She independently discovered the same Coursera courses I watch. She is shy and introverted like me. I think our written communications by number of words exceed all my other written communications, personal and work related combined. But here is a problem, She never message me first and I feel like may be she is doing it out of politeness.
History of our relationship. I am a nerdy database administrator, foreveralone kind of guy. Never had any relationships longer than several dates. About two years ago she messaged me on my okcupid profile. Yes, that's right, she messaged me. To be fair, Okcupid in my country don't usually used by people who don't know English, so there are not so many people on it, proverbial Chads are not usually bothered to learn a second language. It is day and night compared to dating sites in my native language, where I usually don't even get replies to 99 out of 100 messages I send.
So she messaged me, we talk and even meet several times. First time was really great, I remember thinking to myself "That's the kind of girl I want to be with". And she looked interested at first too. We met several times after it, but she looked less enthusiastic and it took me a lot of time to convince her to go out with me. Last time I tried to act confident and lightly kissed her on lips and said that I want to have relationships with her. She said that she need to think about it and that she still likes the guy who dumped her a year ago and hope to fix things with him. Well, that was polite rejection. After that she never agreed to meet me or agreed and then cancelled plans. But we continue to talk. I have a feeling that it may be unhealthy, but I like to message with her. | I like a girl and like to talk with her. She don't like me back but answers my messages. What should I do? |
t3_2lcpzb | relationships | Me [23 M] with my _girlfriend__ [22 F] of five months are having trust issues.. | We've been together for five months now and have known each other for over a year.
We both love each other and spend most nights together. We broke up for only a couple days a little over a month ago because I saw an ex girlfriend while away with a buddy when she told me not to... I didn't cheat, nor did anything even close happen. In fact, we ended up talking about our current relationships and I told her all about my current girlfriend. Sine we got back together we've both had serious trust issues with each other steming from insecurities. When we are together we could accomplish anything, but apart we constantly fear what the other is doing... She's incredibly attractive and draws a lot of attention from guys. Its kind of a weird situation and I'm honestly asking for advice. Has anyone else dealt with this before? How can we build trust together? | me and my girlfriend have trust issues. |
t3_28w8pb | relationship_advice | I need an outside perspective to figure out my friend's actions | I'm in a pretty confusing situation and am hoping that this outside perspective will bring some clarity.
This past December, I ended a relationship of ten years. Only days after we broke up, my best friend made a move and we started a casual sexual relationship. This lasted from December up until late March. I wanted more and he wasn't willing to commit. He said he didn't feel ready for a relationship because he was still not over his previous relationship. I knew that I wasn't either since I also just gotten out of my relationship. I told him I needed time away to try and get over him and we stopped all contact for two months.
In that time period, I had eventually decided that I would try to forget about him completely, even as a friend. However, we have a mutual best friend and we ended up reconnecting again recently through him.
We were friendly with each other but there was still a really high level of sexual tension. About a week after we reconnected, he showed up at my house, drunk and asked if he could spend the night because he got ditched at the bar he was drinking at with his friend. I said yes, and of course he made a move and we ended up hooking up.
This was 3 weeks ago and now we've gone back to hanging out with our mutual best friend regularly. We haven't hooked up again since then though. He's been warmer towards me, and is seeming more kind although he's still flirty. He hasn't at all tried to make a move again though. I feel confused by his actions. Why did he initiate again so quickly? Why is he no longer initiating, and what could all of this mean? I tend to be naive when it comes to these kinds of situations and constantly worry that I am being oblivious.Thank you for helping me make sense of this. | FWB ended badly, we reconnected recently and hooked up one more time. Friend hasn't initiated again but is hanging out regularly. |
t3_uxedf | AskReddit | My boss gave my job to her friend. What should I do? | Hi,
So, here's the deal-- I have my normal, regular job, and since this time last year I've been filling in on a second job. My review was fabulous, I was told I'd be getting a raise and a promotion. The second job is several pay grades above where I'm at, and in April my boss told me she had put in for me to get the permanent position. All is well with the world, I think, and I'm finally going to be rewarded for all my hard work...
Cut to today when I get an email from my boss, late at night, telling me that I've been terminated from my second job, and that the position will be going to someone new...who has no experience with this position. Tht new person just so happens to be her friend who is moving across the country to take this job.
All this, and she tells me that I'll be getting a "small bonus" for my extra work this year instead of the promotion I'd been told I would get. (all verbal, nothing in writing. I had no reason not to trust her before this.)
So, of course I'm angry as hell, and while I first wanted to say "take this job and shove it" to job #1, I do have a mortgage to pay.
I've started applying to other jobs, but I don't know what else to do. Technically, she hasn't done anything wrong, so I don't think there's any point in going to hr. Theres nothing to sue for, and even if there was, this is a small industry, and I'd like to keep working in it.
But, I just feel really helpless, and used, and I feel like I should do SOMETHING, but I don't know what that is. So, reddit, what should I do? | boss gave the job she'd told me I'd get to her friend. Besides suing, what should I do? |
t3_511cs3 | relationship_advice | I [26/M] have realized my gf [29/F] is not the person I want to grow old with but I still really care about her. What do I do? | I've been dating my girlfriend for 3 years now and she moved up to Washington from Cali with me when I got out of the military. She believes that we will be married in the next few years due to conversations we had when I was deployed but now I'm realizing that the passion/intimacy is gone from our relationship and I'm unhappy. How do I proceed? I know that if we breakup it will be incredibly difficult for her both emotionally and financially... Do I wait until we're both done with school (2 years) or until our lease is up or just call it quits now? She's an amazing person and she has been a wonderful gf but without the intimacy it's making me feel incredibly unwanted and even though we've discussed it multiple times nothing has changed. What should my next step be? | gf is awesome, but not my soulmate. She wants a ring and I want out, what do I do? |
t3_4ldwhd | relationships | I [26M] am on my way to see my girlfriend [28F] and am unsure if we should break up. | We've been dating for about 5 months now and met on OKCupid. She lives in the heart of Philadelphia going to get her Ph.D and I live in Queens, NYC. It takes around 3-4 hours for us to see each other one way, and 3-4 hours to go back.
I like her, a lot. She has been the kindest and this is the most healthy relationship we've both been in. we have seen each other every week for 5 months except for some days where we go on vacation without eachother.
I am very hesitant of continuing the relationship not because of money, but because of time. I am on the train to see her now and I'm so frustrated with how long it takes to commute to see eachother. We've tried seeing each other every other week, but then we feel guilty for not making an effort. We're both extremely busy with work during the week and the weekends we also have barely any time.
But when we do make time, it's fine! We're happy to be next to each other and we're very mature about everything. But for the other 5-6 days in the week, we are so busy and we can't care for one another.
I don't really know what I should do in this situation, because I like her but I cannot stand the distance as it puts so much pressure on both of us. | have long distance relationship with girlfriend, don't know if I should continue dating a great girl due to... well.. the distance. |
t3_teo33 | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, today's my birthday and I'm summoned to Jury Duty. What are the best ways you've gotten out of serving on a jury? | Long story short, I've postponed my NYC Jury Duty too many times, and the karma caught up to me. I'm currently in a three-month temp assignment that's providing me with much needed funds, and I can't afford to be on a long-term case for a meager $40-$46 a day. NYC Jury Duty rules are tough and unforgiving, so I doubt they'll care about my financial well-being. What can I say to not get picked as a juror on a case?
I'm a sad birthday girl. Please help me out. | Got called into jury duty on birthday, had a nervous breakdown about money, got dismissed. |
t3_l2wd2 | relationships | Now the in-laws are talking about taking another "family vacation" together... | (background:me 45m, she 41f, married 3 years)
Her family is very close.This year her father took us all on a week-long vacation.
I havent been on a family vacation since I was SIXTEEN. My family is close, but not *that* close.
It took a great amount of mental preparation for me to go on that trip this past year. (i *get* the fact that this is a very generous gesture... but still... not the way I want to spend my paid vacation!)
My wife's philosophy is "who's gonna turn down a free vacation?"
Answer: **me**.
I am **sick** over the fact that he's talking (and has been talking since we got back from the last vacation) about doing it again next year.
It's not about turning down his generosity ...its more about finding our own things to do in life in our free time. | father in law wants to take us on vacation this year...again... and we're all in our **FORTIES**... and I say...'who the hell does that??' |
t3_hsh2q | AskReddit | What is your biggest opposite sex related fail? | My story isn't the greatest but whatever:
When I was in 8th grade I was madly in love with this girl who I used to consider the girl of my dreams (I still do, actually, but she's taken and... well, that's a different story.). Let's call her Derpina.
So one day I was hanging out with my group of friends by the school gate (inside) and we were talking about something semi-serious. Not sure what it was, it's been quite a few years... But we were bummed out about it.
Well, Derpina and her friends were a few feet away from us, outside the school. I hear one of her friends call my name so I step outside.
I see Derpina with her back turned to me and the girl that called me is telling her to face me and *"say it"*. So Derpina turns around, looks at me and says:"I love you.".
I was so taken aback I couldn't even think straight. Plus, I was trying to wrap my ahead around what my friends and I were talking about so, you know, my brain was full of fuck and I didn't know how to react. I could tell she was waiting for me to say something.
I blurt out: *"Whatever"*, turn my back and walk back to my friends.
We didn't really talk to eachother for a while after that happened. She was probably embarassed and I wasn't entirely sure she actually meant it (paranoia) so things got awkward and we didn't talk about it.
Rest assured, I punched myself in the dick pretty hard for doing that. | I'm a dumb dumb. |
t3_4a21ni | tifu | TIFU by splattering a bunch of high school girls in sour cream | So today my friends and I were talking and having a good time during lunch, and one of us had a little crushable cup of sour cream that she wasn't going to eat. A kid next to me was tapping the cup as if he was going to break it and then said to me, "your turn" and jokingly "he's gonna smash it." So naturally without putting one shred of thought into potential consequences, I slam the sour cream as hard as I can. That fricking sour cream cup blew wide open in the direction of about 15 girls I'd never met. The sour cream coverage had to be at least 30 feet down the table. All those girls screamed and yelled "WHAT. THE. FUCK." That shit went everywhere, in their food, hair, backpacks, you name it.
None of the girls who got splattered with sour cream knew definitively who had hit the cup, so I being a total dick, lean out of view the victims behind a taller guy and let my friends take the blame. | I slammed a cup of sour cream which shot out a solid 30 feet down the lunch table and splattered a bunch of high school girls, then let my friends take the blame. |
t3_140uxc | AskReddit | Have you or anyone you know quit a job to pursue a dream? | On the eve of my 30th birthday I have done a lot of reflecting about my life. I am in an ok job, that pays ok, and provides benefits. I have a little bit saved up, but nothing to brag about.
I don't have a girfriend and am the most out of shape I think I have ever been. A lot of my apathetic attitude comes from my frustrations and work, and I have been thinking about cutting and running towards a career I think I would truly enjoy.
I thought I might get some perspectives from folks that have done this and succeeded and failed. Thanks. | Life is mediocre at best. Thinking about quitting my mundane job in pursuit of a career I think I would love. |
t3_3p04qb | tifu | TIFU by assuming my guppy was pregnant, instead of bloated. | I started my guppy tank with two males and four females two months ago, the recommended ratio of 1:2. The females died off (from stress?) one by one, until I was left with 1 female. I was pretty concerned that she'd be harassed, but didn't want to spend money on more until I knew what exactly the problem was. Over a few weeks, she started getting larger, refusing to eat, resting on the bottom of the tank... All symptoms pregnant guppies often show. Meanwhile, one of the males was becoming a bit bloated, so I fed them some peas, which the one female ignored. That was two weeks ago, and he's looking better now. This morning my last female guppy died. It turns out she was bloated, too. | I killed my fish because I mistook the symptoms of a digestive problem. RIP. |
t3_3b04h6 | weddingplanning | Accommodations night before/of wedding? | So I'm pondering my hotel plan. Here's the story (sorry for the novel). I want to get a room that a) my 3 bridesmaids and I can stay in the night before, and b) my husband (ee!) and I can stay in the night of the wedding. Preferably the same place, so I don't have to move my stuff.
The wedding hotel is located half a mile from the venue, and has "studio suites" which is basically just a large guest room with a sofabed. So technically can sleep 4. This is where most of my family and friends will be staying. It's a nice enough hotel, and would be convenient in coordinating with my youngest bridesmaid (FH's sister) who will probably be staying with her parents (although now that I'm thinking about it, she'll be 16 and i might want to include her in the pre-wedding sleepover...). However, I don't necessarily want to make 2 of my girls sleep on a sofabed, and I don't know if one room would have enough space for all of us to get ready in. (although we are doing hair/makeup at a salon) For those reasons, I would probably want to get 2 rooms, and there's no guarantee they'll be next to each other.
There is also a stinkin adorable B&B equidistant from the venue and from the hotel. I could get a suite or a cottage there with multiple rooms and/or beds, and hopefully a common space. It would be a little more "special", it would be great for pictures, and it would have room for us to stretch out the night before/morning of the wedding. This would require FH's stepmom driving sister over to the B&B, and possibly having to flit back and forth between hotel & B&B. The final pro for the B&B is that we will not have to worry about sharing a wall with any of our friends and family the night of the wedding lol! | should i get a B&B or a hotel to stay in for my wedding? |
t3_19k29r | relationship_advice | [23/F] Aren't we all adults here? Friendship after the breakup? | My ex [22/M] broke up with me three weeks ago. He was a good guy during our relationship, but there just wasn't anything there and it wasn't going anywhere. We'd only actually dated for three months. When we broke up, he told me that our "romantic relationship had run its course," and that was that.
We had known each other since high school and had been active friends for about three months before we started dating. During our relationship, we'd send each other funny posts via Facebook chat during the day.
I gave myself two weeks to get over the break up, and to show my ex that I was okay with him, sent him a link a few days ago. He responded in kind over the next few days, and tonight I finally asked him to come out with a group of us to the bar tonight. Text was literally, "Come out tonight?" He isn't very social and didn't commit to coming, which was fine.
I teased him about being boring and said this: "I know it's only been three weeks, but I'm cool with everything and I figured we could just go back to the way things were. I consider you a good friend and I want us to be friends, but I need to know honestly if that's what you want, too." He was short on many things during our relationship, but honesty was not one of them, and I just gave him the go ahead to honestly tell me whether or not he wants to be friends. I haven't heard a response in two hours, which is typical, but if our break up wasn't bad, and neither of us were hurt by it, can't we still be friends? I'm anticipating a response that says something along the lines of, "Well if you're so over him, why do you care if you're friends?" To which the answer should be obvious. We were very close before and I'd like to keep him in my life. What has been your experience with friendship after break ups? | after a really easy break up, our friendship is slow to get started up again. What are your experiences with friendship after a break up? |
t3_phcx3 | AskReddit | Reddit, what's the worst/sneakiest/most annoying way a Customer has tried to screw you over? | So, at work today, a customer calls me up, asks if we have a certain product in stock. I tell him we do, and the price. He asks if we price match, I tell him 'yes, but we would need to verify with the store, either by phone or online stock check'. He asks what time i'm here until, because he 'likes dealing with the same person' and I tell him.
Fast forward 2 hours after I've finished work, my manager is texting me to call her about a price match issue. I call her, and she tells me the customer is caiming we didn't need to check anything, and that i gave him many options. He also told her I'd agreed to a lower price than we had mentioned, and that I'd already checked it.
the | of this is 'Sneaky fucker tries to pull a fast one by lying' but I could have gotten into some serious trouble, and all over $10 |
t3_1i70ua | relationships | Relationships without sex (not celibacy)? [26f] 2.5yrs with boyfriend[25M] | Relationships without sex - how did you make it work?
It's not that he won't...it's more of a mental can't/thinks too much about it. I think it could be deeper and I've recommended he tries counselling. I've tried helping as much as I can, and it's well past the point that I've given up trying. After months of me bringing up counselling/doctors, he still shows no motivation to do anything about it.
We've had sex before - handful of times maybe. But it has been well over a year now. He was a virgin. At first I thought it was a self-esteem issue or shyness...it's not.
Any advice would help. At this point, cheating thoughts have been surfaced. And I'm not a cheater. I just need something that I can't possibly fill in this relationship.
I should also mention...everything else about our relationship is healthy and happy. I'm seriously in love with the guy. He's my best friend. I just don't know how this can continue carrying on without issue. | Great relationship, but no sex. Not sure what to do at this point. |
t3_2oo2oz | relationships | Me [18 M] First time ever having girls like me, No idea what to do | Hey guys, I'm new to this subreddit but I was hoping for some help because I have no idea what I'm doing.
I'm an 18 year old guy going to college in a small town. For all my life I've been overweight and no girl has ever considered me very attractive (excluding my mom and grandma). I didn't get my first kiss until my 18th birthday party.
But then people's perception of me changed once I started to lose weight. I have more friends, and the one thing that I've never had are now my problem - girls.
There are so many girls that like me now and I don't get it. I still feel like the same me.
I used to think that dating was super cool and I was disappointed that I was missing out or something, like I had to be validated by my friends or someone else's love to be worth anything.
But now girls all act like they like me and the worst part is a lot of them are friends fighting over it, and I don't even think I'm that attractive of a dude.
I've never had to deal with more than one girl liking me. I always thought guys went for the prettiest girl they could get, but that doesn't feel right anymore.
All my highschool I just wanted someone to love and accept me. Now I don't need that anymore.
This goes much more in-depth if anyone is interested, but I guess what I'm really confused over is how do I know if I want to date someone? What if there are multiple options? | Lost 45 lbs, still going, girls noticing me and liking me, I have no idea what to do, how do I chose or know if I want to date at all? |
t3_1u5s1m | relationships | Me [21M] with my Girlfriend [24F] of 3 months and she says she still wants to be with me but I don't know. | We met at work and we pretty much instantly clicked and after two weeks we got together. We have a lot of things in common and we see each other at work every day and spend every other day together outside of work plus almost every weekend. Everything was great.
Now fast forward to now and I feel like she is getting ever increasingly more distant. I guess I should mention she has ovarian cancer and is in a lot of pain due to treatment but I knew this before we started dating. Since she is older than me (first time dating someone this older than me, 3 years) she has said that shes not looking for dating but a serious relationship and I'm fine with that. Last week however I asked her whats been going on and she decides to emphasize the fact that she cannot have kids and I really need to think if that's what I want.
Of course right now I don't want kids and for the foreseeable future I do not but everybody changes once they get older so both her and I know that it is an almost impossible question to answer. Anyway she says we are still good and shes under a lot of pain and stress which she says her account of not being very cuddly and lack of sex as of recently.
However I feel like there is a lot more to this story because last night ( New Years ) I ask to come over after work and she says she wants to go home and nap first but she will text me after. I say okay and go home but she never texted me back last night. I know she was awake due to her being on Facebook around midnight so she must have been ignoring me. Also I found out today she still has a online dating account and was logged last night ( some time after midnight ).
Basically I'm having trouble interpreting what this all means due to the billion mixed signals I seem to be getting. Is our relationship doomed to fail because she is trying to make it fail? I like her a lot but I don't think its working... | Girlfriend with cancer is getting evermore distant and I feel like shes losing interest but she says otherwise. |
t3_2685to | relationships | Me 30M caught my girlfriend 30F (13 years) with a friend at my house,. | I caught them hidden in the basement, I don't know what happened but
it clearly involved sex. They took their time to get out of there and when out this guy tried to give me an explanation, I told him, Don't worry I'll handle this, and so he left.
After that I really god mad and started throwing all her stuff in a pile and telling her to leave. I was really mad, I smashed her phone and other stuff. I regret being so aggresive.
After that I emailed the guy's girlfriend telling her what has happened and all the shit
I knew that could ruin their relationship. I'm pretty much done with this guy.
With my GF is more complicated as I have a record of cheating her twice while on
trips and after a lot of work we managed to put together our relationship, and finally
agreed on a "open" relationship. The main rules we set was the other must consent every encounter.
What grieves me most is that I have been tolerant and supportive to her, she had
a fling while on a trip of her own and it worked as we had agreed. But the two times
I cheated her, she treated me like scum and I had to work so hard to recover her
trust... If they asked I would have consented and not minded.
I'm not a good person... some might say I'm being hipocrite yet what I have done
to her is nothing compared to the hell she gave me when I cheated her. I just no
longer feel this can work out.
It has been a lot of time and we share a house, I don't really want to end it yet
even after giving her all the means to do this kind of stuff the right way, she had to
mess it so badly. | Caught a friend with my girlfriend, ruined my friend relationship and I don't care. I'm considering giving my gf another chance because I have cheated her twice, and after a lot of work we set a mostly open relationship, the only rule was do not do stuff like this... |
t3_4fzypb | relationships | [19] My girlfriend [18] of 5 months is going to college 2 hours away this year, we are both in a bad place. What to do? | My girlfriend is going to a college 2 hours away from where we live now. She has looked into transferring to a school nearby, but I insist that she doesn't because the school she got into is the best for her major, even if it means losing her. On the other hand, I am more than willing to transfer to her school because I was considering going there anyway, I just picked another cause it was closer. However I am in a transfer program that requires 2-3 years at community before going to a state school.
I am going over to her house today and we are going to talk for a couple hours about everything, however I am not sure if theres anything I can say to help her feel better. She knows that I love her very much and don't want this to end. I know that she cares about me very deeply to the point where just the thought of this makes her cry. However, it still is very worrying. We always hear stories of long distance relationships not working, but we don't want that. We both know that our relationship is something real that we dont want to end. | Girlfriend going to college 2 hours away this year, devastating us both. How can we feel better about it all? |
t3_xnygg | AskReddit | What is your most interesting story of how two people who would later marry each other met? | Now there are a lot of stories of how two people meet, fall in love, and marry each other. I'm limiting the stories in two ways:
1. This has to have occurred in real life. No fairy tales.
2. They have to be real life accounts from one of the people you met. This can either be the person you met who you later married, or a person you met who was married and told this story to you.
Alright, here's a story from my physics teacher in high school about how he met the person who would later become his wife:
Mr. Newell (that what we'll call him because that's his name) was living in an apartment above a store near the school he worked at. He also had a cabin up north that he needed a guard for. He, at first, wanted a guard dog, but then a friend of his told him to get a goose. Newell then learned that geese were highly territorial and could make for a better guard animal than dogs.
He decided to go with his friend's idea and get a goose. Problem is, he didn't know where to get a goose and didn't know where to look. He talked to others about it, but was not successful.
One day, at his apartment, there was a knock at the door. When he opened the door, a woman was standing there holding a goose. She had learned about Newell's goose chase (pun intended) and decided to help him. She gave him the goose and left. The goose made for a good guard pet, as it turns out.
Newell later found out that the woman was the daugther of the store owner that he lived above. He eventually met her again, they became friends, then significant others, and eventually they married. Over 40 years later, and to this day, they are still married. Before you ask, no, they don't have the goose anymore; it passed away years later. | My physics teacher answered the door once and met the woman of his life and future wife bringing a gift goose. |
t3_1pt5xz | relationships | Me [20 M] with my now ex-gf [19 F] of 4 years have been broken up for 2 months. Time has yet to heal. | Its been 2 and a half months since my gf of 4 years and I broke up. Literally from the moment I awaken from sleep, she is the first thing that comes to my head and she doesn't leave my head til I fall asleep that night. The thing is, I can't even avoid her in my sleep. I dream of her every other night. And everything I see or do seems to remind me of some memory with her. Every where I go, I am always reminded of her. She is haunting my life and I'm beginning to get worn down from it. She was everything to me. Someone to call at anytime if I wanted to talk. Someone to comfort/relax me after a long or off day. Someone to take out and who always looked beautiful even without makeup. Someone to wake up to who would instantly put a smile my face. Someone who I could truly say "I love you" to. My best friend. Time has yet to calm the feelings of devastation and misery I continue to feel without her. I cry for her every day pushing myself further and further into isolation and loneliness. I have never missed anything more in my life. She was home. | Been 2 months since gf of 4 years left. She is haunting my life without her. |
t3_3lzb1b | relationships | Me [26F] with my LDR BF [33 M] 1yr, impatience & feeling left out [x-post r/longdistance] | *(apologies for typos/etc. I copy/pasted this from /r/longdistance and edited it to fit /r/relationships. feel free to ask for any clarification you need)*
I am moving in with my LDR boyfriend next May (so just under 8 months left of being an LDR). We've known each other since April 2014 and have been dating since October 2014. Thankfully we're only about 5 hours away from each other, so we've made a point to see each other at least once a month if not twice a month when possible (sometimes grabbing a hotel halfway between our homes). I've really gotten to know his friends especially recently and love all of them and they all love me. All this stuff is great and I'm grateful for it. **HOWEVER**
I'm just starting to get impatient as hell. Plus we have a facebook group chat with myself, him, and his friends, and sometimes (probably once every couple days) they get to talking about weekend plans or about how much fun the past weekend was together (they all LARP together and have been doing so together for at least a decade now) and I just end up feeling super left out.
It didn't use to be so bad but I think because the deadline is on the horizon and because I'm becoming more involved in his life/their lives in general, it's just becoming a more common occurance that I'm being included in conversations that often turn to weekend plans together (which only exclude me).
I do plan to join them in LARPing when I move up there which only makes it worse I think, because I've made a point to start learning about the game more and I do enjoy hearing the stories about it. It just sucks to hear a bunch of people talking about how much fun they had with each other in a situation that doesn't include me, even though I very much want to be there.
Halp :( | how do I handle feeling left out & how do I handle this impatience? |
t3_1ln2nw | relationships | I [M36] recently broke up with my [F27] after she cheated. Completely lost | Bit of a back story first. Been married for 6 years, together for 9 years and 3 weeks ago I discovered my wife is cheating on me.
Things haven't been great all year but they were picking up and due to go on holiday in a couple of weeks time which we were both looking forward to.
When I confronted her about the cheating she denied it and in an argument it came out she was going to leave me after the holiday anyway.
Since that day she has been living in the spare room here until our finances are a bit better to cope on our own and she has now moved out having got her own place.
It has been confirmed that she has indeed been cheating with someone she works with and for the past few weeks I have felt absolutely shocking to the point of being almost physically sick. I was a late bloomer and she was my first girlfriend and so my first love. All I keep thinking about is how could she do it to me.
I've cared for her when shes had very long periods of sickness off work, I was there when she had an operation and was by her side holding her hand the whole day whilst she came round. I've supported her financially through hard times when she wasn't working and also when she tried being self employed. And then she goes and does that to me.
I dont know what to do with myself. Ive never felt so upset in my whole life, and I feel physically and emotionally drained. I even feel physically sick writing this post from thinking about her.
I don't have many friends, and the ones I do I only see occasionally to go to cinema and that's about it. Im at a complete loss on what to do with myself. Everything for the last 9 years has revolved around me and her. She was my life.
What do I do? How do you cope with it. | Couple for 9 years, married 6, wife cheated on me. I feel sick and emotionally drained. What do I do. |
t3_scdbz | relationships | Not Sure where to go next | I've been going out with my GF for about 8 months now. We were coworkers for a sort of summer camp, and during the weeks of that program we got to know each other. At the end of the program for the rest of the summer we went out a few times and I asked her to be my GF.
All's well and good for awhile, (the usual honeymoon phase and stuff), but as school picked up I became more and more stressed and buried in my work. though we still interact, it seems that in the past month or 2 I have been doubting myself in terms of this relationship. Have I gotten myself into more than I can handle? I feel as if I don't have enough resources (emotional and otherwise) that I can give to her anymore. School has been so draining for me, and I have been under so much stress, that I could hardly ever be there for her. The stress has gotten so bad that I even turned down sex this past weekend because I had to finish a project (Do I have to turn in my man card now?)
I guess one could say it's normal to feel a bit strange after the honeymoon phase, but at this point i'm really not sure. I feel like she could do better than me, because I don't seem to offer her much at all. And, to be honest, she doesn't seem to be offering much to me, either. I feel as if our relationship is just on the surface now, and it's stagnant. It feels as though we know each other, some small things that maybe not everyone else would know, but I don't feel like we're supporting each other or building each other up as we should be in a relationship.
I think it's a combination of both of our academic stresses and the relationship reaching a stasis that's causing me second-thoughts. What could I do to break this stasis, or is it better to break-up and be friends? It seems as though we're already just friends now, excepting for some of the cutesy language she uses in her texts.
Thanks for your thoughts! | GF of 8 months or so, stress building up from tough academic schedule over past months. feeling like stagnant relationship, no development. Not sure how to further develop it or if it's better to break up. |
t3_ri4ry | relationship_advice | Win GF back | so i broke up with my Gf about 2 weeks ago. obviously it didn't end well, little background about me is that i have a lot of issues going on. I don't like to talk about it with anyone. i pretty much keep everything inside and deal with it later i guess. this stems from my father passing away about 2 years ago. i didn't cry or show any emotions to anyone, i just felt numb. my father before dying will always say that "i lived my life, i have no regrets and don't cry for me" which i did. but now its affecting me. all those emotions i had i just balled it up and put it in a box which i call "Pandora's box" lol but now i feel that box opening little by little. I am normally a mellow guy but i have triggers and i get very upset and frustrated not to the point of being physical with someone just express anger through my voice. so back to my GF and i, lately life has been hard for me and i tend to take it out only to her. im thinking the reason why she is an easy target and she doesn't get mad. she would always understand me and stick by my side. but everyone has there breaking point and hers broke. i know im an asshole for treating her wrong i know she doesnt deserve the way i treated her and she deserves better. she doesnt have the fault for the relationship ending i know i have 100% of the blame. its not a one-itis thing or im just with her so i wont be alone(which she has told me) i really have true feelings for her. i have tried to be with her for over 3 years until i finally won her which still till this day i would say is one of my greatest accomplishments. i know the problem is me, i need to better myself first but i don't want to completely lose her in the process. just want to let her know that i will fight for her. i want her to have my babies lol | im an asshole for having personal issues, GF got tired, want to win her back |
t3_34sosw | relationships | My SO [23M] of 5 years is getting mad at me [21F] for being a night owl | Throwaway because I'm not sure how often he browses reddit.
To set things straight, we do not live together.
We used to hang out with our friends until 3AM during our fall semester. He was fine. We used to stay up on Saturday nights to watch documentaries. He was fine.
Until this spring, I started to do things I wanted to do. I had a birthday party in March that ran a little late so that my friends who got off late could attend. He started to get pissy around 12AM that night and could've gone home, but stayed for another hour anyways. I get upset that he's upset. He goes home. I go to his house at 3AM to spend the night. He says sorry that morning, and asks me not to stay up late anymore. Sexy time.
~Two months later:
I built a PC. I was so excited to finish it, but needed to install an OS which a friend provided me with. I had my PC at my SO's house but my friend didn't get off of work until 10PM and would work another 11AM-10PM the next day. Friend comes over with OS. SO tries to go to sleep ~11PM. Problems with installation ensue until 1AM. SO gets mad he can't sleep as soon as I get into bed. Sexy time.
Next day, SO is pissy about **everything**. Throws a fit because I had left my cup of water on his dresser where he knocked it over. I go non-verbal and he sternly tells me to say something. It's late and time for me to go home because it's a school night. SO says sorry he's been cranky. Says he can't stay up late anymore and I should go to sleep earlier.
The problem is that I don't really understand what his point is. In the past year he's been okay with staying up late to not okay. I'm not making him stay up late, am I? This is the first time he's been mad at me for being a night owl. However, I do understand that he's concerned, but isn't it my choice to act out my night owl tendencies? | We don't live together. I like to stay up late. He doesn't. I get in trouble for it and I don't completely understand why. Advice? Thoughts? |
t3_3ot17k | tifu | TIFU by petting my girlfriends cat | Over the summer, my girlfriend and I would often smoke in a little side room of the house. She had just recently gotten a 2 month old kitten who liked to cuddle. Now, normally we would just hide downstairs in her room after smoking, watch netflix and hang out. Since her room is downstairs and her parents room is upstairs, it didn't matter if we smelled because we were on a completely different story of the house. Anyways, as soon as we got inside, ready to go to her room, we pick up her new kitten. But I get a case of the munchies and soon I am begging to go upstairs to the kitchen for something to eat. We run into her mom while raiding the pantry and she picks up the kitten. It only takes her a moment before she says "why does she [the kitten] smell like smoke???". She gives us that strange look that all parents give when they are on to you. We made up some mumbled excuse and rushed the food downstairs. Close one and needless to say I am careful about touching the cat after smoking now. | Cat smells like weed, blows our cover |
t3_1d3uoe | loseit | Best 1 piece of home gym equipment? | Hi everyone, I'm trying to start losing weight I've cut out soda from my diet and am actively working on lowering the amount of calories I'm eating. I haven't started counting yet but I'll get there. I really would like to add some exercise in to my daily routine but I'm not comfortable going to the gym and don't have thousands of dollars to buy multiple things. So i was looking to purchase one piece of workout equipment to use at home daily. I was thinking either an elliptical or a treadmill? What would be my best bet?
Also might be important to note that I currently weigh around 400 lbs and am 6ft1 | 400 lbs 6ft1 Best one piece of home gym equipment to use daily? |
t3_132hc9 | relationships | Could you guys help me [22/f] get over the fact that my boyfriend [22] watches porn/other women? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 10 months now and we are very serious at this point. He has had other long term relationships but this is my first relationship where I feel like I really love the other person. I have learned that, while I was never the jealous type with my past boyfriends, I have become much more insecure with him despite his attempts of telling me how beautiful I am, etc.
He watches a lot of porn. I am not trying to make him stop or restrict him in any way, even though it hurts me, because I realize it is normal and he just does it for visual stimulation or whatever.
However the other night I was browsing reddit on his computer and saw he was subscribed to /r/PrettyGirls. It really bothered me. I mentioned it, I think I jokingly said "aww you jerk. Sorry I'm not pretty enough for you," or something like that (I know, it's stupid. I'm not good at communicating things that are bothering me.) He replied with an annoyed "Well unsubscribe me from it if it bothers you that much."
I didn't. Because, well, it wouldn't really make a difference. There is just a big difference, to me, between watching porn to jerk off and checking out fully clothed, beautiful women.
So. Reddit. How do I get over my stupid insecurities? I realize I have low self esteem. Gah. I don't know. | How do I learn not to care that my boyfriend lusts after other women? |
t3_2s9dvw | relationships | Me [27F] with my husband [31M] 3 years, lately been overly snippy and temperamental towards him. | Please help me, /r/relationships. I love my husband and I don't really want to feel this way and act the way I do of late.
I graduated in December with my Masters degree and I'm currently looking for a job in city X. This has been hindered by the fact that I'm in a field where jobs are hard to come by, and even more hindered by the fact that I'm limiting my search to only X . This is because my husband works here, and we don't want to have an LDR - we already did our time before we got married and that was enough.
I've been looking really hard and only found a few positions to apply for. The lack of available positions, combined with the rejection letters, has put me into a miserable place. I'm also stuck at home, with no social interaction at all - the friends I made in college have all moved away, and my husband's friends aren't keen on hanging out with me without him. All I can see is a tunnel with no end. I fear that I may be getting depressed, and lately I can't even motivate myself to get out of bed, or get out of the house. I can't go see a therapist because I'm not covered for that, and we can't afford it out of pocket.
This has just turned me into a snippy person. I get annoyed and irritated easily with my husband. I get annoyed when he tries to tell me that things will work out, or that everything's going to be okay, or that we'll figure something out. He's a really sweet and loving person, who is incredibly patient towards me. He's very supportive, and I hate that I'm this... naggly nag towards him! I'm so scared that continuing to be this way will drive us apart - we're already arguing more than usual.
I don't know what to do, I don't know where to go, or who to talk to. I don't want to be this kind of person anymore, but I have no idea where to start. | I'm a recent graduate in a fruitless job search, the frustration has turned me sour and snippy towards my husband, who is an amazing person. I don't want to be this way, but I don't know where to start to make things better. |
t3_3y37qz | relationships | Help, this won't stop bugging me and I got into an intense fight with my gf over it | Okay so I hang out with my girlfriend(of 15 months) at least once a week sometimes twice and I would like to more but that's irrelevant right now anyways one of these days I decided to hang out with her she wore some tight jeans and she didn't shave and not so sexy underwear but she thinks so but it doesn't seem like it the next day when she wore leggings and a g string and shaved and she says there was no reason to doing it the next day. Given that statement meant is true what does that mean about her or our relationship and if that statement isn't true then what does that mean? | so when we hung out she didn't seem to try it care but the next day she did and we got in a fight over what was meant by it. |
t3_52uys8 | relationships | I [34M] am freaking out a bit about the idea of not finding someone and never having a family. | Broke up a while ago, due to valid reasons, stayed friends. I have 2 nephews and it's made me realise I really want a family one day, but feel like am running out of time to do it.
One of the main issues we had, we were very co-dependent, we didn't have many friends outside each other. Since the break up I've been hanging out with workmates a lot more, which has been great, but it doesn't feel like I've expanded social circle any.
Anyway, I guess the question is, how do you get out there and start making new friends when you aren't used to doing that kind of thing?
Case in point, supposed to be going to London tonight for a charity thing with a mate, but he's had to cancel. But am now thinking of going on my own as a try out. Feels very weird doing this stuff solo. What do you even do going to this kind of thing on own? | Starting to worry never going to have family, never really done the whole get out there on own thing. Help, tips, advice, etc welcome. |
t3_xzbav | relationship_advice | I(23/F) am a newlywed and I think I made a huge mistake getting married. | My husband is 31 and I am really thinking this was a bad idea to get married. We have been together for 6 years and I love him more than words can say. He really acts like nothing has changed in our lives. All the things he said he wouldn't do because we weren't married are still the same. Like he went out with some former coworkers tonight and has been gone drinking for 6 hours and is ignoring my calls, something he has done off and on from time to time for years but swore he would stop doing. He makes more money in 5 months than I do in a year but, I still pay for all our groceries and my own bills. Last week he went to a gaming convention with his friends and is planning their next all night LAN party but I get hell for going out to the movies with a friend while he is out of town. This just seems so unbalanced now, worse than before. He kept saying things were going to even out when we got married but nothing is different. He seems so unbalanced, he makes me feel like I am the bad guy. I don't know what to do. I am just realizing that things aren't going to get better if he isn't going to try. I can talk, ignore, yell, cry, pretend all I want but things are not what I thought they would be. | Got married and nothing changed. I knew it wouldn't fix our problems but I thought that it would at least put us on even ground and it didn't. Now I am not sure if I made a huge mistake. |
t3_3d6vzp | relationships | [22M] Need advice on how to ask girl [24-25?F] at work out without being rude/interupting/asshole | Im a lowly warehouse peon with a slight crush on one of the marketing girls at my work. I would like to ask her out, but I dont want to be an asshole and bother her at work (someone did that, and it did not go over well at all. Granted hes a real life asshole, but still..) I just dont know the best way to go about it. I get to work, and obviously leave before her. We go to lunch at the same time, but she sits with like 6 people and im shy/awkward and assume she is too. And theres the 'i dont know if she would say yes' block I have that always holds me back. I dont even know what kind of guys she goes for... | read title :P |
t3_wjvr8 | AskReddit | Reddit: Any advice on caring for an elderly family member? Or how to find them a good facility in which they can receive the proper care without costing the family a fortune? | Here's the deal, my maternal grandfather is 83 years old and in declining physical and mental health. He was in the hospital for 3 months earlier this year due to complications with COPD, congestive heart failure and diabetes. He also spent about 3 weeks in rehab in order to regain his strength and learn to walk again. My aunt and my mother are his only children. My mom wanted to find an assisted living facility for him to go and my aunt was insistant on bringing him home to her house. Here we are, 5 months later and this has caused my aunt and my mother to fight all the time. My aunt and her husband are the main caretakers and my mom takes my grandfather on the weekends she has off. My mom is a single mother with a 6 year old that mom has full custody of (my sibling's dad is a fucking dead beat). My grandfather requires oxygen, blood glucose testing, and is basically like a kid again. He can't cook for himself, he is still unstable on his feet. He is also starting to show signs of dementia. In my opinion, he needs an assisted living facility, but his insurance is crap and neither my aunt nor my mom can afford to pay for it. Has anyone been through this before and have some insight as to how to get my grandfather the help he needs? We are in Maryland if that helps. Does anyone know of any programs, assistance of any kind? He is a veteran as well. Any insight/advice would be greatly appreciated! | Grandfather is in failing health, family is trying to take care of him, but is lacking the resources. Any knowledge about assistance programs would be greatly appreciated. |
t3_kwo9g | AskReddit | I'm irrationally terrified of things I know will never happen. What are some good things to help me overcome these fears? | So far, my boyfriend's closet freaks me the hell out. It's located in his bathroom, and I'm terrified of opening it up and finding a burned to a crisp human being in there and that is going to then crawl out of the closet on the floor and either corner me in the shower or strangle me when I sleep. Also, when I fall asleep in the dark, my mind warps all the shadows and outlines of furniture into creatures looking at me.
I'm a grown ass woman. What can I do?
I tend to avoid scary movies and horror games now because I was addicted to them several years ago. | I have an over active imagination and it terrifies me. |
t3_3jvscv | relationships | Me [25 M] with my GF [21 F] 1 yr, immature | I ask her for advice and she gives bad advice. She makes all the mistakes that I used to make when I was younger, so while I can't blame her because I understand it, it does irk me because I like to think that my life partner is someone I can talk to and feel better, but she makes me feel worse when she can't offer any intelligent comments (since it's all things I already have thought of, or she just simply doesn't understand because she's never been in my situation (most recently was about a promotion at work, she is still in college)) and often times persuades me into doing something that is wrong simply because she doesn't have the experience to know that that is wrong--and I do have that experience and so I am responsible for making that choice in the end but it doesn't change the fact that she, my life partner, is persuading me to do it, and I think that is what bothers me.
Should I just not go to her for advice (Which I highly suspect is the right decision), but then the question is: if she doesn't offer that...that's a pretty important factor I look for in a relationship. Should I stay while she grows up, or should I leave to find someone who is older? | I want someone I can turn to for advice, but she doesn't have the experience to offer good advice. Should I stay in the relationship (and assume that as she gets older she'll naturally learn how to give better advice) or should I end it and find someone more mature? |
t3_3t0n0a | tifu | TIFU by pepperspraying myself | Yeatersay, I found [this] post in /r/mealprepsunday. I love burritos and I had some frozen steak that I've been meaning to use and this seemed like a great recipe to use them on, so I got started on it today.
It's a burrito bowl recipe that includes rice, steak, Pico de Gallo, beans, corn, etc. I decided to make the Pico in the recipe instead of buying it pre-made because it would be cheaper and likely taste better.
The Pico was made with onion, tomato, jalapeño peppers, cilantro, and lime juice.
I've never cooked with jalapeños. I don't really like peppers very much, but I added the jalapeños to give it some spice. While slicing the jalapeños with my dull knife (going to be sharpened tomorrow), I got squirted in the eye. It started burning immediately and I rushed to the bathroom and started flushing it out with water while trying to rub it.
Both of these were horrible, horrible ideas because I got even more jalapeño juice in both eyes and the water just spread it around. It was likely the most intense pain I've felt in my life.
My fiancée was frantically looking up what to do while I was on the bathroom floor screaming in pain. She quickly grabbed the milk and started pouring it in my eyes to neutralize the capsaicin.
I was pretty much blinded for about a half hour. It was pretty awful, but I'm fine now. I still think it was worth it, these burritos really are quite delicious. | Peppersprayed myself over burritos, worth it. |
t3_1xwzke | relationships | Me [50 F], Husband [50 M], 20 years married, doesn't acknowledge, doesn't engaged | My husband and I recently reached our 20th wedding anniversary. I will not say marked because he refused to mark it in anyway. Not even a "Happy Anniversary" followed by a kiss. Recently, I also turned 50 without acknowledgement from him other than that to put a good face on fro the children. Also, there is no good night kiss anymore without me initiating it. Sex, he is willing to initiate. No goodbye when he leaves for work when I'm in the same. I love this man and his behavior hurt.
His lack of showing of affection started about 1 1/2 years ago. What makes it more difficult is the fact that in the past year and a half, I have to deal with a mess related to settling my father's estate and dealing with an unemployed mildly autistic brother, he has no other friends or family to rely on, and a breast cancer diagnosis one year ago(early stage 1 and easily dealt with.). And, to answer a question ahead of time, I was not "needy" during this time, not my style. He was relied upon to care for our 3 children for 2 weeks immediately after my first cancer related surgery. But I think you'd be considered a really bad spouse and partner if you wouldn't do that much. And I think that gets to the core of the issue for me.
His sense of responsibility, to be a good provider, be a good father is strong and he does well with that. He also has a strong moral responsibility so his marriage vows are something he upholds. He has in that past few months expressed to me that he is glad he found me and loves me. That said, I feel that he is holding back and not being honest about something in his emotional life to me or himself. | How do I deal with the hurt and stay in my marriage with someone who I am still in love? |
t3_380g81 | relationships | A very close friend (18F) of mine (21F) and my Boyfriend (20F) just got raped. My boyfriend and I had an argument. | SORRY FOR THE WRONG TITLE, MY BOYFRIEND DID NOT GET RAPED, JUST JANE. I APPOLOGISE FOR THE CONFUSION. IT WAS AN ERROR/MISTAKE
Jane got raped, needs a place to stay and cannot tell her brother bev to who lives in the street behind us about it because of personal family reasons. She is staying with us for the night
He wants to make our friend, Jane, use our flatmate Hav's bedroom. Hav and I do not get along well and she has yelled at us many times, she is also very selfish and rude. I do not think Hav would approve of letting Jane use her bedroom and I already cleaned and set my bedroom up for Jane. He is calling me selfish. Blaming my mental illness and being downright rude up to the point I cried because I do not want her to use Hav's bedroom.
He said if Hav does not allow Jane to use her bedroom when he asks for permission is going to say "Fuck off! we are using your bedroom!" which would cause her to go to her brother, Bes from my point of view. He says that the fact that I think Hav is going to go to Bev is also a part of my mental illness (OCD)
Am I wrong in not letting her use Hav's bedroom for the night? | boyfriend and I have an argument over OCD and a friend. |
t3_2zvbio | relationships | [M20] In love with my Best friend [F20] who knows but contantly sees other guys and doesnt hid it. | I know this sounds like a stupid cliche but anyways here goes...
My Friend that had a boyfriend when i first met her broke up
with him and has been single since however she treats me like her boyfriend.
We see each other everyday talk/ text everyday and i even sleep at hers pretty much every other night.
The problem is ive started to develop real feeling for her (to the point where if i see her get with another guy i feel like shes cheating on me and i go through weeks of painful depression only to repeat the cycle.
So now after not having a boyfriend for a couple of months shes resorted to using tinder to meet guys all the while she knows just how much i care for her in that way.
We joke on saying that were perfect for each other we never fight but she knows that her getting with guys causes me this pain but obviously she can't help it since she wants to find love herself. She comforts me after it happens and is always the first person here for me when i need her (for psycological issues) but still she sees me as her best friend. | Friend zoned by the girl i love and we are essentially gf and bf without sex and i feel becasue she worries about me psycologically she cant move on with her own love life. |
t3_2coso6 | relationships | Me [27 M] with my gf [26 F] 7 year relationship, texting non-stop to another guy | GF and I have been together for 7 years. Recently she made some new work friends (all guys) and one in particular she is texting and snapchatting constantly. We've had a few arguments and I've let her know how I feel about her texting a guy everyday. She won't stop. She has deleted evidence of snapchatting and texts once I called her out on it, claiming she didn't want to make me mad that she was texting this guy. I've snooped a bit (we kind of share the phone) and haven't seen anything too concerning, but I don't feel comfortable with snapchat pics/videos of herself (silly faces and such with cutsie messages) to the guy. Am I just being very insecure? Our sex life has slowed dramatically also. She claims she loves me and wants to be with me 'forever'. We are very intertwined financially and live together. Anyone have any similar problems to this or advice? I am making myself sick with worry. | Gf snapchatting/texting guy from work everyday, told her how it makes me feel, she wont stop and has hidden/deleted evidence. |
t3_wm438 | relationships | His parents don't like me because I dated another girl in the past. What do I do? | He's 17 (m), I'm 16 (f). Been pretty good friends since 7th grade (we're now juniors) and have now been together for a month and a half or so.
Backstory: in freshman year I dated a mutual friend of ours, a girl (was an experiment of sorts, kinda complicated, unimportant for now) for 3 months. It caused a bit of controversy amongst parents and friends because of the whole lesbian thing and when her dad found out, she broke it off.
Now, the guy is fine with that. His parents aren't. They (according to him) think of me as contaminated and generally don't approve of me, purely because I dated a girl as far as I know - it seems to stem from homophobia alone. I'd met them a few times before I got with this guy and they were fine with me then. I believe their disapproval of my past choices is due to religious reasons.
So my question is, how do I approach his parents? Clearly they do not want their son spending time with a contaminated person such as myself (the mother much prefers his ex gf to me). I kind of want to talk to them about this, but then it's not really my place. I get the feeling it's going to get in the way of me and him down the track. They've prevented him from seeing me a couple times now, I think, and I feel it's going to happen again. Since this is a high school relationship I'm not pinning my hopes on this one guy forever, obviously, but I really would like to do something about his parents hating on me right now. | his parents don't approve of me because I dated another girl a couple of years ago and they think I'm 'contaminated' etc. and I would like to do something about it but don't know how. |
t3_1vkser | relationships | Me [21 F] with my [21 M] of 2 years: just found out he's been having cam sex with other women... | ...on omegle and the like-- and created (but never used) an account on a dating site in order to continue. He came clean about it, saying he needed to share so he could move on and so we could be honest with each other and continue the relationship more healthily. He deleted all accounts he'd made, etc.
I'm so hurt. I don't know what to do. I ended things, but I still love him, and he says he loves me too, and doesn't understand why he did it, and never considered it cheating at the time. It was just something he's always done, and he just didn't stop when he started seeing me.
Words of comfort? Words of advice? Anyone? I want to be with him one day, I think. It just hurts so much to be around him now, and half of me keeps thinking that no, I can't ever be with him again: I have more self respect than that. | Boyfriend had cam sex. Broke up. Advice? Comfort? Anything? :( |
t3_383wut | loseit | How do i actually eat healthy without ketogenic diet? | I'm a 18 year old male, 5'10" and I weighted 195 lbs a year ago. I lost 30 lbs last summer while on ketogenic diet and then I quit keto because everyone told me I looked really good now. But then I started binge eating because "I looked good and was at a healthy weight so what would 3000 calories of sweet stuff a day do to me...".
Well, now I weight about 178 lbs, I gained half of the weight back. If it wasn't for Keto, I would have even surpassed my highest weight. I keep switching between keto and a very unhealthy carb filled diet. I learned how to eat unhealthy and how to eat keto, but I still don't know what I should eat to consider my diet healthy.
I will do keto for 1-2 months to lose the weight I gained and then I plan to start eating normally (but healthily), so I want to know as much about eating healthy food as I can. | Keto was great, I lost 30 lbs, but I don't know how to actually eat healthy and whenever I quit it, I start binge eating and gaining weight back. I want to learn how to eat healthy without keto. |
t3_12hbsn | AskReddit | How do I tactfully suggest my SO change his approach to acne treatment? | My SO has facial acne, which he tries to treat with a variety of approaches (most are probably more harmful than helpful) without much success. I recently found a treatment that works very well for me, and I'd like to offer a tactful suggestion that my SO start the same treatment.
My SO doesn't seem too sensitive about the topic, but my own experience with acne makes it hard for me to talk about this stuff calmly and casually. I'm afraid that if I present this in a poor manner, my SO will become defensive and reject the idea for some contrived reason. | My SO uses an acne treatment that does *not* work. Can somebody suggest a way for me to casually bring up the topic and tactfully suggest he try my treatment instead? |
t3_ihyfs | relationships | In need of perspective. | Let me try to keep this as simple as I can.
I'm in my mid 20's
I've recently re-united with a old friend in the last few years which I've always carried feelings for since we first met many years back. Within these last few years we have built back up to a degree, a good friendship and even came quite close on a few occasions to breaking down the "friendship" wall in order to explore something a bit more personal, as she showed the same feelings to me. Because of a fault in circumstance or of personal ruining we never explored our feelings to the extent that I would desire.
Within these few years we have grown close and drifted away regularly but it seems we always tend to gravitate towards one another whenever we find opportunities to do so (long distance friendship currently, with intentional visits to one another). We often find ourselves enjoying ones company that never quite feels like simply hanging out. Generally the friendship is a mix between total comfort and awkwardness towards one another from both parties. Think of a lingering question that you want to ask but don't want destroy the feelings that make you drawn to one another in asking.
Simply put it feels like the friend zone only because we have (or me) put up some type of firewall that keeps us from taking another look at each other to see what is really there (love/lust etc). I'm hoping any others that have been in a similar situation can share their experiences as to the feeling I'm trying to express.
I tend to think about this quite often and even though I can, and sometimes do, come to terms with the feelings I have I can't help circle back to the thought of exploring something deeper. Whenever I get the opportunity to speak or see her the feelings always come back full strength again. | Guy likes girl, girl at least liked guy at one point. Guy and Girl still hang out and pursue personal friendship. Guy still likes girl and wants to to know how to better interpret the friendship as "as is" or more of a stepping stone to a potential true relationship. Guy does not want to compromise the core friendship but also desired something closer. |
t3_55908u | tifu | TIFU by breaking a down a cardboard box | This happened 15 minutes, finally had a minute to breakaway and use the restroom at work. I was restocking fruit at the store from the back. One box of apples ran out. It's common courtesy to break and remove empty boxes from the cooler when they run out. I took the empty cardboard box and went to the recycle bin we put them.
Now this cardboard box is not like normal boxes that have the pop in/out bottom. The bottom is a solid sheet of cardboard that is connected to two handled sides (hotdog style?! Idk). However the other sides are glued in and need to be broken down so the box can be flat.
I couldn't break it normally, so I started to slam the box on the rim of recycle bin. It worked and felt badass cuz 'break things'. The side was only glued to one edge. It meant it could go flat which was good enough for me! When I did the other side the flap hanging up came right at my balls! I didn't speak for 4 minutes. | Got excited to break things ended up teeter tottering my balls! |
t3_2iglua | relationships | [18 M] in 1st serious relationship with [19 F] and feel scared after reading this reddit | Hello and thanks everyone for any advice. This girl and I have been in a exclusive relationship for 5 months and I couldn't be happier. Any other relationship I've had only usually last a month or so and never saw anything in them. I trust her with anything and she trust's me as well.
She even says she couldn't see her life without me and could see me as the one and honestly I could see it too. I know what your thinking that's its probably a little too bit early to be thinking that and usually I would agree, but I've lived the single life and there's nothing there for me I haven't experienced I liked. Its usually just random hookups or drinking with friends and she agrees with me as well. Were more of chill home, cuddle, and watch Netflix. We don't usually like partying that much or clubbing.
I want to actually connect with someone. However whenever I come on this sub reddit all I see is usually stories of people who have been together for like 2 to 5 years and figuring out their SO cheated on them or the love is gone. I don't want to be like those stories. I've had 3 of the past relationships end cause they cheated on me and the same has happen to her, so I like to believe she wouldn't do it to me, but when I see how all these people who believe they found the "one", but ends up getting hurt it scares me that would happen to me. So please tell me what to do. Any advice would be appreciated. | The sub reddit causes me to feel a little bit of doubt that some how my relationship won't work. Due to seeing all these good relationships end due to cheating or love is gone. |
t3_2r50kp | tifu | TIFU by smashing a potted plant on my foot, cutting it open | So, a bit of backstory, my mum keeps about 8 or so potted plants in the upstairs bathroom, next to the shower. I've asked her on several occasions why the fuck there are some plants next to shower, her only excuse being "they're self watering".
Anyway, I was in the shower, and as I was reaching for some soap, I accidentally managed to make a potted plant fall onto my left foot, smashing in the bathtub, cutting my foot open. Now, my first reaction was "Shit, I broke one of my mum's pots", not even realising my foot was cut open.. After cleaning up a little bit (WHILST STILL NAKED) I realised the soil from the plant was almost completely red. Theeen I saw my foot and the pain started coming.
Oh god. Imagine rubbing a cut foot against some gravel. The agony. Things started getting worse when I tried to grab my foot in the midst of the pain, then slipped over, falling into the mound of dirt and blood and water, whilst STILL NAKED.
Long story short, a mix of blood and soil is hard to clean. | pot fell on foot while in shower, cut it open, fell on blood and soil whilst naked |
t3_2of14w | travel | Getting from Colombia to Patagonia - Need your opinion! | I'm flying into Cartagena the last week of December and spending about a month in Colombia.
The next part of my trip will be to make it down to Torres Del Paine the first or second week of February, to catch the tail end of hopefully better weather. I know I'm doing everything a little backwards, but I really wanted to meet up with some friends that were also going to be in Colombia and I know I need to get down to TDP as early as I can.
I also plan on doing Machu Pichuu after this, total time spent in SA will be from end of December to middle of April.
I'm kind of stuck on how to get to Punta Arenas right now. Originally, my rough **Plan A** was to leave Colombia the last week of January and make my way down the west coast of SA (Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia) to Santiago by the second week of February, and fly down to Punta Arenas. This plan would give me three weeks to get from Bogotá to Santiago - not very much time. I think this plan is too rushed and I would also have to double back to hit Machu Pichuu.
**Plan B** is to fly from Bogotá to Buenos Aires and spend a couple days there (bonus, because I really wanted to visit BA), then fly or bus from BA to Punta Arenas. Flying is a LOT more expensive, but then I will be able to hike Torres Del Paine a little easier and spend a little more time going north and heading to Lima - eventually flying out of there in April. | Plan A: Colombia, then down the west coast of SA - Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia - then Santiago to Punta Arenas. Then travel north and hit parts of Peru again, including Machu Pichuu. Fly out of Lima. |
t3_1w5qsp | relationships | I (16F) am unsure how well I handled turning down my friend (16M) when he asked me out. | We met last summer at a residential summer course and live in the same town. When I first met him I though he was pretty attractive and liked him a lot. We got on and had lots of fun together.
I very much got the impression that the more-than-friendship feelings weren't mutual. Okay. I didn't have a problem with that. Friends is good. I found that I couldn't help thinking about him like that though, so I studiously stopped myself every time I did, which got easier over time.
Couple of months later, out of no where, he asked me (via his cousin I might say. Wasn't all that impressed) what I would say if he asked me out. And this is where I'm not sure if I handled it well.
I wasn't sure what to say.
I still liked him a lot as a person, but, somehow, the attraction was gone. Which was very super annoying because I would like to have a boyfriend, just apparently not him now.
Because of my annoyance at myself and the situation in general, it took me a while to turn him down, and when I did I wasn't exactly convincing.
It was very much a "...Uhm. Right now? No. I think. I'm guessing here."
And now I feel quite bad because it would probably have been easier for him if I'd just said, unequivocally, no.
The whole issue is muddied by other tangentially related things like another male friend of mine(17M)(known him for three years) with whom I have a somewhat unclear relationship and the fact that I am dealing with some mental illness at the moment and didn't want to bring someone else into that.
Mostly, I want to know if there is any significant way I could have handled this better. I feel like I should have been more clear-cut about my feelings on the matter. Or, at least, given that impression. | A friend that I was very sure only liked me platonically asked me out after the attraction I had felt for him had died. I wasn't completely assertive in my rejection and I would like to know how badly I handled it. |
t3_3p643c | tifu | TIFU by walking in an alley | First post here, been a lurker for some time.
Me (16) and two friends, Let's call them Frank(18) and Harry(17), were walking around at midnight, when we heard a weird noise from someone's backyard. Frank, the tall guy looked over the fence and saw nothing and we continued walking home. We heard someone scream at us to come back. Naturally, we got scared, split up and started running. We ran for a good couple of minutes and I regrouped with Frank. It was dark, so we thought we saw Harry walking, but it was not Harry. It was the guy who screamed at us. The guy was an Asian and he smelled of whiskey and other alcoholic beverages. He was pretty aggresive towards Frank, but not to me, because I am small. He thought I was a little kid which makes me sad. He told us to come with him, we had no idea why, but we listened to him. He then calls his friend, to meet him in front of his house, which was the house where we heard the weird noise. As we got to the house, his friend was standing there, looking stoned. Harry stumbled upon us and thought the two guys were friends. The Asian guy proceeded tell us not to try to steal from him and his neighbourhood, in an English which was hard to understand. He then wanted to take our keys from us, but we alked it down to one key each. I gave him a key which I don't use and he was suspicious of it, but accepted it. He told us to go to him tomorrow, with one of our parents to get our keys back. Our parents were out of town, so that wasn't an option. Frank had to walk home with his bike and get his spare key. We weren't planning on returning there, ever. It could've been worse I guess. | Walked in an alley, heard a weird noise. Asian guy thought we were trying to steal from him |
t3_29vspn | tifu | TIFU By not reading the full label on a water purification tablet bottle | So I was backpacking with some friends for a few days, and we'd been getting water from a nearby stream and cleaning it with water purification tablets. First time we did it, I only read the first 4 steps, which basically said to put a tablet in and leave it for 5 minutes. I didn't think much of it, and that's what we did for the entire three days we stayed there, using this water to cook and drink. Last morning and we're getting ready to leave, I finally read step 5. "After leaving for 5 minutes, shake well and let sit for 30 minutes to enable purification." | Might have giardia |
t3_4xh7ss | relationships | I (24F) am getting married next week. My bridesmaids are all much prettier than me, and it's getting me down | It's such a pathetic problem. I just want to know if anyone's been here before.
My bridesmaids are my younger sister (19F), younger cousin (20F), college friend (24F), former roomie (22F) and fiance's sister (21F). I chose them for no other reason than that they're important to me and that they're all wonderful women. My younger sister is my maid of honor and is going to kill it with the speech. She also helped plan my whole wedding.
They're all prettier than me, in different ways. They all look very different but are all just really stunning women. My sister picked out red dresses, since that seems to flatter all their various skin tones.
I...not so much. I'm not pretty. I'm not a troll but I'm very average, even in my wedding sari (it's a really simple one anyway).
I'm just not looking forward to the event as much lately. I'd never want my bridesmaids to be anything but who they are, but I just wish I could measure up. The bride is supposed to stand out and glow, right? I don't. | Starting to feel really bummed and depressed about my much prettier bridesmaids. Pictures are going to suck. How do I get over this funk? |
t3_3tgsfr | relationships | Co-workers told boss I lie. I don't. (F. 25) | Typing on phone. Bare with me.
I'm a receptionist at a vet clinic. I have been there since April. I love my job, except for the lead receptionist.
She's way older than me (60's). To make a long story short, she's been very nasty to me since I started. A few vet techs have even commented on this. But that's not what this post is about.
I made it clear to my boss that I want to move to vet assistant. Partly due to the other receptionist. But mostly because I want to be more hands on with pets and move up in the company.
She took me into her office today and said that at this time me being an assistant would be a "no". Her reasoning was that the vet techs have said I lie and tell "stories".
This has come as a complete shock, I have never lied about a single thing. Not even a stretch of the truth. I highly value honesty. Liars piss me off. I asked for an example and the example that was given was a lie.
I assured my boss that I do not lie, I value honesty, and I had never said what the example stated I said.
She is honestly torn, I know she wants to believe me, but she is stuck in a he said she said situation.
More importantly, my co-workers think I lie. How can I prove to them I am not a liar? | co-workers told boss I lie. I don't. How can I prove my honesty? |
t3_4m1peq | relationships | Me [23 M] with my friend [22 M] is his dad doing something illegal? Or is this a legit business? | So my friend texted me today to tell me this crazy story about his dad.
He asks if I know his dad and uncle sell things whole sale, which I didn't know, so he goes on to tell me that his dad and uncle pay flat fees for trucks carrying returns for various businesses like Amazon, Groupon, Home depot. And apparently this truck had a bunch of expensive luxury items on it that they only paid a small fee for? To me this sounds wildly illegal, but maybe this is a thing that people don't know about? Has anyone heard of this? I'm afraid my friend is going to sell these things online and that they weren't legally obtained and he could get in trouble. | Friend's dad pays low flat fee for trucks full of "returns" from big box stores, worried his family might be into something illegal and he's getting sucked in. |
t3_1u4s6z | relationships | My boyfriend [25] and I [20 F] got into an argument, but I have question about physical responses from anger. | Hi Reddit - My boyfriend [25] and I [20F] have been dating for a little over a year and we recently got into an argument. There have been factors limiting the time I get to spend with him and that has been the bain of our relationship. I only see him 1-2 times a week for a few hours. The blame falls on my shoulders because I don't communicate with him on a regular basis and the limitations (work, parental disapproval) are on my side of the relationship. Sorry if the description is vague, but my question concerns anger reactions.
My boyfriend has been very patient while I try to figure out ways to spend more time with him. However, during this last argument he was at his wits end. He was very angry and he went into the hall and started punching/slamming the walls. I didn't see him do it because I was sitting on a couch in another room. This was the first time this happened and I was stunned and scared. Our other arguments didn't escalate to this point. I guess my question is.. is it a common physical anger reaction? I'm wondering this because my ex used to punch walls when he was angry too, although he did it infront of me. I don't believe my boyfriend would physically harm me.
I'm asking all this because I don't know if I should just let this go or if I should talk to my boyfriend about it. I understand that we all deal with anger differently. I don't know if I'm overreacting, so please let me know if I am. | Boyfriend [25] and girlfriend [20] got into an argument and boyfriend started punching walls and it scared girlfriend. |
t3_i38qx | relationships | Downplaying looks has me frustrated | 27/m with g/f roughly the same age and been dating more than a year. She's a sweetheart and very beautiful, but she has self-image issues and constantly downplays her looks. She's always (half-jokingly) calling herself ugly or yucky. At first it was cute, but now I find it annoying. She has beautiful features but rarely wears makeup or does her hair. She's been a little overweight since I before met her and for the most part, she wears baggy, unflattering clothing. She also doesn't seem to make any conscious effort to eat very healthy or exercise at all. I've made an effort to go to the gym regularly and eat a bit healthier lately and asked her to join me, but let's just say that did not go over very well at all.
I've seen pictures of her from a few years ago and she looked great, but I think she gained some weight as a coping mechanism from a bad previous relationship. I've tried my best to compliment her honestly whenever I can, but she always blows them off.
Anyway, I've been getting increasingly frustrated lately with what I would call a lack of visual stimulation in our relationship. I've mentioned numerous times that men (me included) are visual creatures and I would appreciate an effort to sexy herself up every once in a while (tight clothing, showing some cleavage, prettying herself up, etc). Our sex life has been pretty good, but has tailed off recently. I don't have a problem with her wanting to be comfortable. But feeling her up through some loose t-shirts every time just isn't working for me anymore. Help me, reddit. I have no idea how to bring this up to her without getting another negative reaction. I try to give her positive re-enforcement about her looks as much as I can, but it's getting difficult. | Girlfriend doesn't ever try to look or act sexy, got angry when suggesting she join me in eating healthier and going to the gym. Doesn't accept compliments about her appearance. Finding myself less attracted physically as a result. |
t3_ouq4m | AskReddit | Where can a single mom go for housing assistance? | I have a friend who is recently removed from her husband. Well, live in boyfriend, father figure for her child, financial supporter, but not legally married.
Soon after he left, he was continuing to support her while she got on her feet but very quickly he stopped doing so. This has left her in a position where she and her young son are about to be homeless. She cannot afford the rent for the house they had together and is desperately trying to find help in getting a deposit for a place she found that she could afford on her own.
Do you have any recommendations on organizations or government agencies she could turn to for help before she ends up in the street? She received a 30 day eviction notice a week ago. | Who can single mom turn to for help in finding housing for her and her son? |
t3_1q0ajw | relationships | I [22/F] would like to FB friend fellow interns [22/M] duration - is that weird? | So I'm only working at this place for a couple months and I had originally hoped to friend my coworkers (tho not my boss) when I left - is that the best policy, or is it fine to do so now?
My fellow interns and I get along really well and goof off all the time and it would be nice to have some connection to them outside to seeing them at work, esp after my internship. I just don't know if it's a rule not to do so - I'm definitely not adding my boss since I know that can cause drama, but among students my age? I don't think it hurts, but I'm just worried if it's too soon (it's been 2-3 months thus far?) | To friend or not to friend, and if so, when? |
t3_1y6mi7 | relationships | My [25M] girlfriend [24F] of 4 months just had a miscarriage. I don't know how to feel. | Well yesterday my girlfriend of about 4 months went to the hospital complaining of stomach pains. It was there that they found out that she was pregnant, and the pregnancy had to be immediately terminated in order for the safety of the mother.
I'm still processing it all right now, but I really don't know how to feel. We are both in positions in our life where we are financially able to support a child, but at the same time we have only been dating for 4 months. I just don't know, though. I can't help but think that that was my child. I have not really been able to talk with my girlfriend yet to see how she is doing, because this all occurred last night. I will continue to do my best to support her, though, and be there for her. | girlfriend was forced to have an abortion, now I don't know if I am sad or relieved. |
t3_306pci | tifu | TIFU by sharing a private bathroom with a stranger. | So, today I was out to eat with my family and had to go to the bathroom. I get up, walk to the bathroom, and open the unlocked door.
The urinal is taken.
So I just stand there waiting to use the urinal and after about 10 seconds it dawns on me what is happening.
The toilet is just there. Its not a stall.
Now I'm frozen with fear just staring at this guy peeing and I stay. It's too late to leave. After what felt like an eternity he just walks mm out the door, which I promptly lock. | It's kind of awkward to watch people pee. |
t3_3cyvre | relationships | Me [23 M] with my gf [22 M] 3 years, brains or fun? | I'm having trouble getting rid of a feeling. My gf and I have been together for 3 years we have a happy relationship. But we have very contrasting activities. I was into hiking, free running, rock climbing, amusement parks, etc. (stuff like that). But the thing is she isn't into all those stuff so I could not do stuff like that. I'm adventurous and she's not. She wants to stay in all the time and watch movies and netflix. Don't get me wrong... I love that but not exactly all the time.
But we do connect on an intellectual level since we are both med students. I enjoy the intellectual conversations and having someone who gets all the nerdy jokes. So basically whatever free time we have we spend time with each other. The rest of the time goes to hardcore studies. I don't have many friends who is as adventurous as I am so my friends aren't really an option. And if I spend time alone doing my thing then I would not be able to see her.
Recently I met another girl who is into all the things that I am like to do, but she is not as bright. She gets some of the jokes but not the way that my gf does. I want to say that shes more fun than my gf and we seem to connect on that level but not on other levels. That girl did express her interest in me, but I try to move onto another subject. Yes I did tell her that I have a gf. Same thing with my gf.
I want to get rid of this feeling; this feeling of missing out. I want to stay with my gf because leaving someone that you love for someone that you like is obviously foolish. I would never have two gf or even cheat because I obviously do not have time for it. I was wondering if anyone has any advice? But I do feel better writing this out; something to get off my chest. | Gf and I connect intellectually but are not on the same page on activities. Another girl is into the same thing that I am but we don't click intellectually. I want to stay with my gf. I need advice on getting rid of the feeling of "missing out" and "inhibited". |
t3_lbisj | AskReddit | Several of my friends at university are on track to have jobs at graduation or go to high level professional schools. What's your excuse, 99% people in college? | One is going to UNC pharm school, another will attend Hopkins medical school, one has a job in his field (statistics) practically in the bag after graduating. Yesterday, my friend got offered a job in I-banking and will make 6 figures out of college.
I want to know, why is it that most of you cannot realize that if you are good at what you do, or show yourself to be in the upper echelon of students, you can get a great job and be wildly successful.
Did any of you ever stop to think about how if you stopped complaining, took some classes that teach useful analytical skills (calculus, finance, organic chemistry e.g.) and did well in them, and made friends with professors and people at employer conventions at your school, you would have a great chance of being successful and having everything you want?
It seems like the self esteem generation is finally getting the message, "Most of you are losers out of your own fault, and losers have never been successful," and they are in denial for the most part.
I do realize there are extenuating circumstances (no college, although national merit scholars are offered boatloads of money, especially if they are low SES), but for the most part you all seem to be victims of your own mediocrity. | Most college grads who can't get jobs have no foresight or are just plain mediocre with no skills of any value. |
t3_4ivcga | relationships | Me [23 M] with my SO [20 F] of 2 years, I don't know what to do for our anniversary. | Heather and I have been together for 2 years now (we just recently celebrated the date); however, we didn't do anything special because of finals-- just not practical. We are actually celebrating our anniversary in a few days but I am not quite sure what to do. All I know is that I want it to be on the beach/related to the beach. I live within an hour of the Jersey Shore if that helps.
I was thinking something exciting like waverunning or water skiing; however, she hates the water this time of year because it is too cold for her. I thought of parasailing but the companies don't start until late may. I know I can take her on a beach picnic and serenade her so that is already in the "itinerary". However, I don't know what to do for the rest of the day. I love the idea of Philly/NYC but it really would be too much to do the beach and one of the cities. Any advice, reddit? | I want to involve the beach in my anniversary plans but I need help in finding cool ideas to give us both a great day. |
t3_2d0gjt | relationships | I(24/m) need to let me GF(24/f) that I don't have a degree | It's not really as bad as it may seem.
So, I've been with my GF For a year now and I have known her for three total. The first two years we spent as friends and getting to know each other but it was definitely a chase. I tried to impress her and when the topic of school came upon us, I at the time, was in community college. When we were talking, I mentioned to her that I got my associates but I no longer wanted to pursue school.
I know I lied to her about it but I was trying to impress her and her being a graduating nurse just made it se like I wasn't in her league. I know that lying about it was wrong because I understand the insecurities I had at the time, but I also didn't think it would've ended this far because it really seemed that I didn't have a chance at all. The thing here is that I work in a kitchen as an aspiring chef, so a degree isn't something I necessarily need but I'm still at wit ends with this. Please help me think of a solution to bring this up in an understanding manner for her! | lied to me gf about having a degree but I really don't. |
t3_i16sc | AskReddit | I got invited to the top of our building (18 floors) where there are big cell phone antennas. The door had FCC warnings about not going on the roof due to high levels of RF. What dangers did I put myself in for my cigarette and this cell photo ? | The doors to the electrical room (floor 18) and the stairwell to 19 and the door to the roof were locked.
There was a sign on the door that said 'FCC Warning, access to the roof by authorized personnel only. High levels of RF are dangerous to your health'
I've done some google-ing and can't really seem to find much about how dangerous this actually is to your health..
Is it not safe to go onto the roof of high-rise buildings anymore as depicted by so many TV shows and movies?
Crappy cellphone photo: [
Anyways, best smoke break of my life! | Is it really dangerous to be within 10 feet of a cell phone tower antenna? |
t3_scsgi | AskReddit | Should I become a software engineer? | Let's see if I can explain myself concisely here.
I already have a masters in Aerospace Engineering. All the jobs, though, are either doing fascinating usually-to-always **classified** work (I loathe being in that type of environment) or uninteresting paper-pushing jobs. In my opinion I overspecialized and leaped before I looked.
Also, I find that I have nothing in common with my coworkers. I LOVE to code, I love problem solving, I love learning. Most of them look at me like I'm a lunatic by stating that my work is more than a means of income-generation to me.
* I can already program at a non-software developer level in C++ and MATLAB, and I'm currently learning Java.
* I want the flexibility of being able to choose to live in more than the three (or n-number) major areas of the country that employ my current specialty. I believe working in software development could afford me that luxury. Is this an accurate assumption?
* I have always, always wanted to learn more about software. I am rather proficient in mathematics, and I feel I would be able to employ actual problem solving in my worklife if I chose this profession as opposed to my own. How is the day-to-day of doing this type of work?
I'd love to know anything and everything about doing the actual 9-5 work of a software engineer. What is it like? What kind of personality characteristics are common to the field?
Also, I APOLOGIZE in advance for making ridiculous blanketing statements about a field I know nothing about. I recognize my ignorance, and am only going on what I observed of the other students while in engineering school. | I'm 26 and an engineer in a field I don't like; what is software engineering like, and what kind of a person thrives in it? |
t3_26f183 | relationships | My [19 F] ex-boyfriend [19 M] said, "you're attractive but I'm not attracted to you"..what? | I had been dating my now ex-boyfriend for several months. We had what I thought was a happy, loving relationship. I very recently found myself in the "we need to talk" scenario. He told me that I'm attractive, but that he was no longer attracted to me in any way.
This is the second consecutive time that I have heard this (from him and a previous boyfriend. I have become increasingly confused and upset because, as far as I can tell, there's nothing I can do to fix this. My self esteem is quite low due to the fact that I seem to repel attraction.
I am looking for a translation/explanation. Should I ask him? where do I go from here? Any advice is welcome. | Ex-boyfriend says I'm attractive but he isn't attracted to me. please help |
t3_3hvz7z | relationships | Should I [23 M] go on a date with a girl [20 F] that I am increasingly finding unattractive? | So, I'm doing online dating for fun right now. I'm not really looking for anything serious, and I'll literally message anyone. One girl I messaged is interesting to me. She's a little fat...alright, a lot fat. Anyways, I was looking past that. We talked for a while, and I eventually got her phone number.
Now, I will date someone that is fat, but they gotta have their best interest in hand. Over the course of one day, she told me, "Yeah, I'm fat, but it's not my problem and I can't do anything about it," she said she was a "cock tease that historically lead on a bunch of guys," and she's already asking me to do shit for her. I don't want to hurt her feelings or feel like I lead her on because of the conversation, and I don't want her to go crazy and stalk me. Never been in this situation before - how do I handle it? | Girl's making herself out to be unattractive; how do I split without making her feel unattractive. |
t3_3chcr0 | relationships | Seeking advice for me (30F) and my SO(30M) of 7 years on different ideas for managing spending in a long term relationship. Budget issues are causing me serious anxiety. | I know this seems like a personal finance question, but the problem isn't making a budget, it's making sure both people stick to it.
I'm not gonna sugar coat it, we are both terrible with money. And we're lazy, which inevitably translates to living outside our means. The problem is that we want to deal with it in opposite ways: I try to put money aside for the things that I'd like or need and he wants to live it up as long as we've got the cash.
Our finances have been combined for years because at more than one point in our relationship, we were barely making ends meet. Now he is making significantly more money than previously, but as many months as not, we won't have enough $ in the bank to pay rent on the 1st (we have to wait for another paycheck).
Neither one of us holds the other accountable for their spending or foolish purchases, which makes it that much easier to excuse our own. I need a solution where it doesn't feel like only one of us can live the life we want.
Please share your stories/ideas/solutions. So many relationships crumble from money issues, but hopefully with your help we can fight through this. | SO and I are poor, lazy spendthrifts. How can we fairly manage our budget without having to micromanage each other? |
t3_3bo180 | relationships | 21 [M] Wondering if it would have been a good idea to approach this woman, need dating advice | So I'm at a community college. Class ended and everyone was leaving. Eventually I am outside and on a little path to my car.
There was a girl who was in my class that was on the same path as me. I was super close to her. Nobody was around, just me and her.
She didn't say anything to me. Wasn't really smiling. Was looking straight ahead. She also sits right beside my in class. We never talked before.
I WANTED to approach her. But I didn't know how to. Also, I didn't know if it was appropriate of me to do so. I don't want to be THAT GUY. I don't want to be creepy. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable or scared.
She didn't seem like she wanted to talk, she didn't say hello to me.
So I just kept walking, walked ahead of her and went to my car without saying a word. Does she hate me now?
Would it be okay if next time...I say "Hi! How do you like that psychology class?" Is that okay to do so? I don't want to be creepy or anything..
When is it okay to talk to strangers? | I want to approach a girl for casual conversation without looking like a creep, when is it okay to do so? |
t3_2hvinp | relationships | Me [23M] and my Girlfriend [21F] of a month. She won't make contact unless I inititate it | I've been dating this girl for a month. We've been going out at least 3 times a week which is amazing because it's a 45 minute drive to her. I'm a junior accountant and she is a film student , that means I'm incredibly busy and she is too but has quite a lot of free time between sets.
She's very genuine and tells me everything ! but she never texts me out of the blue or calls. She only responds when I text or call her. Her responses are always cheerful and happy but she won't initiate any contact.I had a few days off as I'm sick and she won't message me or phone to see how I'm doing. It's like she is scared to show emotions or something
Girls from previous relationships have always messaged or phoned me because they are thinking about me but not this girl. I'll add she isn't your average girl. She wouldn't be caught dead taking selfies and clubbing like a lunatic.She's very independent too
I just get the vibe that she doesn't care... | She won't text or call .Is this a sign she doesnt care ? |
t3_3n4bss | legaladvice | One ER Visit, 11k in Costs, Insured by Employer, But No One Noted My Info, Now 11k In Debt | Posted the below in /r/personalfinance and was advised to post here, as I may need to lawyer up. As I've never lawyer'ed up before, ANY guidance will be very much appreciated. Many thanks in advance.
Back in 2013, I was in a car accident. An ambulance ride and hospital trip later, there was a bill totaling $13,000. I remember giving the EMTs and nurse my information (ID, updated address, and medical card). I was insured with my employer's health benefits at the time. During those months, I was dealing with all this + my mom's death and did not have a good tracking method of everything that was going on (not an excuse, just a confession of being unorganized).
Now, I just received a letter from a collection agency for the ambulance ride to the updated address I'm currently at--I just took care of that. I couldn't find anything about the ER stay, so I went to the hospital and saw the balance of $11 which is now with the Department of Revenue.
I reached out the insurance company and since timely processing has passed (I'm also no longer insured by them as my company switched to a different company), they don't want to pay for it. They noted the only exception is if the address was wrong, and in which, it was. The hospital took down my outdated address from my ID, and even then, they wrote it down as "court" instead of "circle."
Even with this, the insurance company is being pretty adamant in not wanting to pay, so I just obtained an itemized statement with the incorrect address to fax them and have not heard back. With the 11k balance in my face, I'm scared and don't know what the next steps would be. Anyone ever have to deal with health insurance companies and/or Department of Revenue? Please help/advise. | 11k balance for an ER stay, now passed timely processing for health insurance company, they don't want to pay, the bill is with the department of revenue |
t3_vvpqj | AskReddit | Reddit, what can you tell me about women's sports and ribbons in hair? | First, I'd like to apologize if this is supposed to be on the "downlow".
I work with 6 people, 6 of us are male and we have one female on our "team". Yesterday, during some downtime at work, my co-workers and I were watching the Olympic Trials, and we happened upon Team USA and the Netherlands playing softball. One of my co-workers, who is female and homosexual (this is relevent), used to play softball in high school and college and couldn't have been happier that we were watching the game. After about 15 minutes, she asked if we wanted to know a "secret" about softball. Intrigued and confused we said yes, to which she explained that **if a woman playing softball has a ribbon in her hair she is declaring she is straight and if she isn't wearing a ribbon in her hair it is almost certainly a declaration of being gay.** She told us this is not just something that happened at her schools, but that it is univrsal throughout the country for women's softball. She was unsure if this was universal throughout the world. Naturally, we spent a good 90 minutes trying to determine who on Team USA had ribbons in their hair.
It was shocking to hear. So, I need the collective knowledge of Reddit to answer some questions we came up with:
-- Can anyone confirm that this is indeed an unspoken rule or practice? If so, is it just an USA thing or do other countries have this practice?
-- What about if you're bisexual, do you wear a ribbon or nothing or something else?
-- Do other sports, women's and men's, have such practices amongst them? If so, which and what (if you're willing to share, of course)?
Your answers would be greatly appreciated! | It was mentioned at work that women in softball use ribbons as a means to signify sexual orientation -- how true is this? Does it apply to other sports? Men's sports? |
t3_jmh43 | AskReddit | What is your most vivid childhood memory that left a significant imprint on you? | When I was a kid my family belonged to a pool/tennis club. In the back area there was tennis courts and basketball courts that were secluded from the pool area. This was where we would go to get away from the parents and do various shit kids do.
When I was in 4th-ish grade myself and about 4 others were back there and this really weird kid who had anger problems (would take any comment you made as a threat/get really defensive and freak out. He fought a lot) RUNS up to us with a small plastic beach toy bucket with this psychotic grin on his face. He gets close to us and starts ranting and we couldn't really understand what he was saying. He comes up to me first and shows me the contents of the bucket- a small, maybe baby bird with a broken wing. The poor thing was freaking out, thrashing around. He said that he found it in the bushes. He showed it to all of us and we were struck dumb, it was bizzarre. He asked us what we thought we should do with it, but no one had any ideas so he blurts out "I know what we can do!". He grabs a smallish rock and starts throwing it into the bucket chanting and yelling as he is doing so. It freaked the fuck out of me and everyone else. He then took the dead mangled bird out of the bucket and started DUNKING the damn thing in the basketball net (it was lowered to 7 feet). Holy shit. Us non demented kids ran away like he was the devil and never spoke a word of it again until a few months ago. Shitsbadman | Kid finds injured bird, stones it to death, dunks it on a lowered basketball rim |
t3_18y357 | Advice | Relationship advice. | So, I've never posted here before. I suppose I'll start from the beginning. I'm 14 years old and I've never had a girlfriend. I'm not that attractive, and I don't think I'm that interesting. A few months ago I got a Minor in Possession of Marijuana charge. Due to that, I'm required to go to group drug therapy with peers my age.Well, there's this one girl there and I'm falling for her. She's 15. I've never felt this way before, and it's great. She's pretty, funny, and we get along great. Last time I went to therapy, we laughed and held hands the whole time. I'm normally really nervous about this type of thing, but here I'm not. So I was planning on asking her out, but then she said she's 4 months pregnant (she doesn't look it at all). The baby's dad is in prison and she's definitely keeping it. She also made it clear that he's not going to be in the babies life at all. I see this relationship going for a while, but I don't know if a 14 year old (me) should even be thinking of helping her with that burden. Should I just go for it, or should I let this girl slip away? Please, help. | I'm 14 and I like a 15 year old pregnant girl. Should I date her? |
t3_ju3zs | dating_advice | I am genuinely confused by this girl. What would you do in my situation? | She's 21 and I'm 19[M]. I've wanted to date her for as long as I can remember, but stopped myself from ever asking her out because she's had a boyfriend for most of the time I've known her.
She's always treated me differently than a casual "buddy" would.. She compliments my looks all the time, plays with my hair and touches me for no reason, snuggles close to me on the couch, calls me pet names, says "I love you" etc..
She says things like "never leave me" and tells me that I'm hers, as if we we're dating.. From every indication, it seemed like she wanted to date me.
A couple months ago, she got into a relationship with a new guy, after breaking up with her boyfriend of 4 years. I told her how I felt about her and she said that she'd been really into me for a while, but "put it in the back of her head", thinking I only liked her as a friend.
A couple weeks ago, she broke up with her newest boyfriend. Since she already knew how I felt about her and knowing how much I wanted to be with her, I finally asked her out. She told me that I didn't want to be with her because she ruins relationships.. She said that she only fucks things up and that the last person she wants to make miserable is me.
Now, she has a new boyfriend. I just don't understand why she would make it seem like she wanted to be with me when clearly, she had no intention of doing so. Please help me understand this situation. | She makes it seem like she wants to be with me. I ask her out. She says I don't want her. |
t3_224fpw | relationships | Me (22F) my ex (22M), together 3 years, apart 5 months. I want to be friends but he doesn't seem to want that. Not sure how to deal. | Me and my ex broke up like 5 months ago. He was my first real relationship and I took the break up really hard. I kinda went alittle crazy for awhile after the break up basically I didn't give his space, I would call alot and text alot, just being annoying in general. Well he's blocked me completely from everything and we don't speak much anymore.
I really would like to be friends with him, I dont have many close friends and even though we arent together I'd still like a possible friendship in the future. He said that this would be possible after time has passed but I'm worried he is just saying this.
My question for reddit is how do I deal with my ex not wanting to be my friend (which is what its looking like), when I want a friendship?
More advise besides "just let it go" would be appreciated. | want a friendship with ex but he doesnt seem to want one with me |
t3_ymdj1 | AskReddit | Need to know I'm not alone here. What sorts of crazy things have your parents done because of a divorce? | Bit of background information:
I'm a 16 year old girl (jailbait/teenage redditor jokes may begin). My parents have been divorced for 7 years now. During those 7 years, my mother kidnapped my brother and I and took us to California, kicked my dad out of the house we were staying at on Christmas, and spent four years trying to get us moved out of state, called the cops on me when I decided to live with my dad, physically attempted to restrain me from leaving her house, etc.
My parents have hated each other with a passion for all 7 years, and refuse to agree on anything. Medical bills, which parent has custody, and child support have been huge and constant battles.
Tonight, in response to my request for a split time schedule where I spent equal time with each parent, my father decided to kick me out of the house. | Parents hate each other and therefore have called the cops on me and kicked me out. |
t3_ddzei | AskReddit | I'm owed overtime: how should I approach employer? | So, I'll try to keep this short. I'm not asking for legal advice - rather, practical advice.
So, I work as a non-exempt employee at a non-profit in California. We have events throughout the year, so I often have to work overtime. They compensate me by giving me comp time off, which I usually take in the one or two weeks following the week I took overtime.
I recently found out that legally non-exempt employees (of non-goverment agencies) must be compensated for overtime with wages/money. Now, comp time is a common practice, so I'm not accusing my organization of knowingly taking advantage of me (though they have said they have labor lawyers look at all of their policies), but I just think I'm being compensated unfairly.
I'm just not sure what my best course of action is. I mean, I know legally I can file a wage claim. I'm just worried about retaliation. What if this will make my organization look for any excuse to fire me? Is it even worth it to rock the boat? | I'm legally able to file a wage claim but is the possible retaliation worth it? |
t3_2ueaoa | relationships | My[24F] bf [23M] of 6 months makes me feel like crap about my body. | My bf rarely compliments me or tells me that I look nice or pretty. I always feel self conscious of my body because he is always commenting about other girls and their nice bodies. He does this in front of me and he told me he does this in front of me because he wants to be honest with me. This makes me feel horrible about myself because I feel like I can never live up to his expectation of what I should look like. I always compliment him on his appearance but he never reciprocates. He has also made comments relating to my boobs being small, and how my butt could use some more toning. I told him that those comments really hurt my feelings and he apologized, but I'm not sure he really got it. All of the comments he makes about these girls are about how big their boobs and butts are. I have horribly low self esteem now because of him. I'm not really sure what to do, I love him and he tells me loves me too, but I'm not so sure where to go from here. I have no idea how to bring this up to him because I don't want to control him and his thoughts. | BF comments about other girls being hot in front of me, never compliments me at all. |
t3_3xfa3p | relationships | Me [24F] wants to know how to make sure a guy is interested in more than just hook ups? If he's interested in something serious? | Me 24f dated a guy 26 m for a month a bit more, went only on one date, other dates didnt happen because of me and him. Lots of nonsene happened and lots of conversations has been said. Ive rejected his dates accusing him of being someone who is not serious enough (indirectly of-course). Anyway he barely texts or calls. But he keeps mentioning that he wants me in his life. That he is interested in me. And that it is me who doesnt know what she wants. He has a very successful career at 26 he owns his own company. It takes most of his time. And its his numb 1 priority. I get that i understand it. Yet i cant explain why he doesnt text me. I mean I understand that he is busy. But if someone is on ur mind u'd text/ call him/her no?
It's weird he's blaming me for not being together i'm just lost of what his intensions might be. I do not want any hook ups or gaming sort of relationship.
To add spice to the plate, one of his friends a close one i suppose. Who had me for a longtime on facebook, is texting me and hinting that he wants us to date, he asked for my number i refused to give it out.
I told guy numb 1 that guy numb 2 is texting me he teplied with a simple: haha he my bro. So i have no idea if they talked. If they're trying to play me both. I have so mang scenarios in my head it's so funny.
Tbh i kind of like guy numb 1. I just need to know what his intentions are, what is going on with his friend, on his mind?
Any hints? | dating this guy, not sure about his intensions, his friends gets on the line he likes me too. What to do? |
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