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t3_enbkk | AskReddit | Did i just have my identity stolen???!11/1?1??? | i was just on omegle, text chatting this guy and he said he was online stealing identities and i was like oh yea stealing identities? and he replied its easier than u think... and he said i have ur social now and i said what is it? and he went around the answer....I then told him to go to reddit.com cuz its awesome and he replied seems lame and i said oh look at that i have ur social...... and he said u got me... u have beat the sensei at his own game....my work here is done........then said good luck joshua san..............THATS MY FUCKING NAME!!!!!!! anyone please tell me how he knows my fucking name | i think i just had my fucking identity stolen......fuck!!!!!!! |
t3_2hrn8i | personalfinance | Finally landed a good job, I could use a little advice. | After 2 years of scraping by, I finally landed a job that keeps me from living pay check to pay check and comes with benefits. Included in these benefits is my 401K. It comes with 0%, 3% or 6% contribution options. Ideally I'd like to go with the 6% option and put as much money away as I can but I currently hold $5K in CC (12% APR) debt that piled up over the last 2 years. My question is, should I go with 0% for the first year and use the money to quickly pay off the CC or contribute 6% and slowly chip away at the CC.
Also, I'm 26 years old. | Should I focus on contributing the highest amount possible to my 401K or pay off my 5K in CC debt? |
t3_43o7xb | relationships | Me [19M] with girl [19F] want to start dating her any tips? | Hey reddit
I met this awesome girl about two weeks ago when i went out with my friends for drinks and she got invited along as well. We hit it off well and talked about a 21st we'd be attending soon. She messaged me the day before the party asking if id like to do a joint costume with her because she was uncomfortable turning up by herself and that we should go shopping together. (Ended up going costume shopping with her for our separate costumes as i was working the night of the party till about 9:30).
When i got to the party when she saw me she seemed pretty happy to see me and was like /u/shouldigoforit96! We danced drank and chilled for a bit. She invited me outside of the party for a smoke and chat which unfortunately a party goer intercepted us on the way out and decided to join in. Night went on and before she left i said kinda sucks how we couldnt have many drinks together, to which she replied there's always next time. I asked her if there would be a next time and she said yeah we'll to go X again sometime.
Does she seem interested in me? My follow up question is how do i go about approaching her for drinks and going out sometime? Its been a while since i dated so im pretty rusty | Met a girl a few weeks ago and we really hit it off, how should I approach this? |
t3_3goslc | relationships | [22 F] with [21 M/F] for over a year, my fiance is a narc | It's a rough and sometimes annoying thing to deal with; being in love with someone who seems to only sleep. He'll fall asleep anywhere normal, like in the car or on the floor while he's playing video games, but he's fallen asleep in weird or awkward places too. He's sat down on the floor in Walmart and dozed off while I was contemplating items for a bit too long, he's fallen asleep on a rock by the lake in my town, hell he's fallen asleep while walking or working out.
It's kind of my job to keep him awake, not that I'm really complaining but sometimes it's kind of annoying to be talking then notice he's been half dead the whole time. It makes me sort of afraid that I'm boring because he can keep pretty awake when something grabs his interest.
Right now he doesn't have insurance because his mother is a lazy sack of shit and he was currently fired because his manager is a massive cunt in a half (different story) and even if he didn't, he isn't able to work more than a certain amount of hours and of course that only leads to a certain amount of money.
We tried B12's but that doesn't seem to do much if anything at all.
Is it something I just need to continue growing to deal with? | My fiance is a narcoleptic and I need to know how to cope and help him through it. He does not have insurance and doctors are not possible for the time being. |
t3_3z7vyz | relationships | My mom[49F] drinks every single night and I[23F] think she might be an alcoholic. Am I overreacting? | Hello Reddit, this question has been weighing heavily on my mind for awhile now. I really want to know if my mom is an alcoholic or if I am overreacting. Currently I live with my husband 6 hours away from my parents and I haven't lived at home in over 3 years. However in all the years I did from the time I can remember my mom drank every night (either wine or homemade margaritas with a lot of tequila).
I can only recall her ever being drunk one time when I came home from shopping around 1 pm and found her passed out on her bed. (Not just taking a nap, she literally was drunk). I woke her up and she was slurring her words and just out of it.
She drinks every time we go out to eat and every single night like I said. (At least 3 glasses of wine a night). And like I said I haven't lived at home in 3 years but I know she still drinks every night because every time she has came to visit me and my son she has me take her to the store to buy wine. EVERY SINGLE TIME. she's probably visited 7 times in the past 2 years but every visit she has to stock up on wine (my husband and I don't drink at all). And she drinks multiple glasses before bed every night she is here.
I've told her I'm concerned that she is an alcoholic many times and she gets angry and tells me "an alcoholic is someone who has to drink first thing in the morning". Which I don't believe but I'm not sure. She doesn't seem to be drunk constantly but I feel like drinking tequila or wine every single night and even when you are visiting ur only grandchild and daughter is ridiculous. What do you think Reddit? I know she is an adult so there isn't anything I can do but I just want to know if I'm even justified to be worrying at all about this? Thanks guys! | I think my mom might be an alcoholic because she has to drink every single night but I'm not sure if I'm just overreacting. |
t3_2z5qva | needadvice | What is more important life or happiness? | So, I have been juggling this question in my brain for the past few months especially now, and I am just not certain on how I feel about it. Whether it's more important to have life, no matter of how much shit is wrong with it (homeless, jobless, unhappy, ill, stagnant, lonely, depressed,{insert personal life issue here}, etc). Or is it the quality of life that matters most. If you aren't happy in your life, and you have given it your all from the resources that you have to change that with no avail. Then is life really worth living? Hell, let's say you have managed to achieve a level of financial stability that you were looking for when you were younger. But now, in old age, you aren't able to participate in those things that you wanted to do so badly when you were younger. The only things you have now are regrets and unkempt promises to yourself. Is life worth having or suffering still then? | Which is most important and integral to life? Life itself or happiness in such life ? |
t3_2gp0ov | relationships | How would our long-distant relationship change if we dated? 14 F crushing on a 14 M for several months to half a year now. | I've been good friends with a particular guy for about a year or two, and I've been crushing on him for about a third of that time. Another friend of mine coerced me into asking said guy out, and was heavily involved overall, and so I did, although it took a second time to confirm that I was being serious, as I joke around with him and our other friends a lot.
Background: Our relationship is fairly long-distant; we communicate online, even though we live only 15 or so miles away from each other (I've never actually seen him in person; I know him only because of another good friend). Not exactly sketchy, but the way I'm describing it puts it that way.
Scrabbling with transportation and parents and the fact that we don't go to the same high school makes it all the more difficult, and it's so much more convenient (at least to them) to talk online. Even if we got together, which we will do at some point, it wouldn't be as often as needed; our relationship would depend heavily on online interaction.
Things turned out the way I expected. He said that it wasn't about me, it was a matter of change. He thought nothing would happen at all, and our relationship would fundamentally remain the same. I guess what he meant was that our interactions would basically be the same.
Would things really remain the same, or would they change? The answer would be somewhat obvious in a normal relationship, but we're (again, somewhat) long-distant. I'm open to questions, since I know that I may need to specify a bit more. | On the verge of dating a guy, but he doesn't think things would change because we're sort of long-distant. Would they? |
t3_23692n | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] 2 years, she has feelings for another person. | Me and my girlfriend have been going out for over 2 years. However, she recently says she's fallen out of love with me.
Since the start of the year she has been flirting with a boy in her class and it has progressed to a stage where they are meeting 1 to 1, yesterday they met and walked around town and at one point, he leaned in for a kiss, she says that though she refused, she wanted to.
She says she has fallen out of love with me, that she likes this boy because she can flirt with him and she doesn't want to be tied down. I think the relationship has just gotten into a routine personally, we need to try new things but I don't see how to make her see this. She alerted me to the situation in general 2 weeks ago, we talked it over and all seemed fine, but at this stage it was just texts.
Now she says she doesn't love me anymore and we're meeting tomorrow evening to talk things over and try to find a solution. How can we rekindle the flame and save things? Any help is appreciated. | Me and GF been going out for 2 years, she is texting another boy, nearly kissed him, says she has fallen out of love with me. Need to rekindle the flame. |
t3_kyyg7 | legaladvice | Mold in Baltimore rental home | My girlfriend rents a row-home in Baltimore City with three other girls. It's in fairly decent condition, but they've had problem after problem with the landlord. They've pretty much given in to the other issues, but this most recent one is really troubling me.
This weekend when I was visiting her, she showed me a huge patch of mold on the carpet in the "sunroom" of the home. It's a glass-enclosed back porch with indoor/outdoor carpet. The mold is growing in a corner of the room near some apparently leaky windows (I saw standing water on the windowsill inside).
They spoke to their landlord about it. He came to the house and looked, and immediately blamed the tenants for "not notifying him sooner" (they told him as soon as they pinpointed the smell in the room) or for "not wiping up the water" (in the corner of the room underneath a bookcase and couch).
There's also a throw-rug on the porch, which he said he gave to the previous tenants temporarily and "was his great grandmother's," which is also growing mold in the same corner.
He indicated they would need to replace the carpeting themselves (and the ugly throw rug) or call in mold remediation experts, at their expense, to take care of the problems. The room smells absolutely terrible, to the point I had to hold my breath when she showed me. She has terrible asthma and breathing issues and can barely walk through the room to get to her car.
Has anyone ever dealt with a similar situation? Anyone ever dealt with a troublesome landlord in Baltimore? A quick scan on Baltimore City's civil court site shows that they can use a type of Escrow to have him address the problem, but they would need a lawyer and it would have to go to a civil trial. I feel like it's the landlord's responsibility to keep the premises in a healthy and sanitary manner, but he doesn't seem to feel the same way.
Any advice would be helpful. I can post more information and more details when I talk to her about it some more. Thank you. | Mold growing inside enclosed back porch, landlord blames tenants and won't take care of it. |
t3_49gz8x | relationship_advice | I (17/M) recently told my friend (17/F) that i have feelings for her | Me and this girl have been extremely good friends for the past two years. We had this connection that i havent really felt with anyone before, we just got along really well, same type of humour whatever. Even my close friends thought that she for sure liked me. Basically I told her how i felt, and she told me how she felt, she told me that she really likes me, that she feels she can be completely herself around me, and told me that she really adores me and tells her mom/friends about me all the time. I tell her that i have feelings for her, and she tells me she doesn't want to risk losing our friendship. This was 7 days ago, and i havent spoken to her since. I really dont know what to do. I want to talk to her and see if theres a chance, because i feel like there might be, but at the same time its been a week and maybe its best if i keep moving on. | told my bestfriend that i have feelings for her says she doesnt want to risk losing our friendship, what do i do. |
t3_2636th | tifu | TIFU by nearly breaking a child's face | So, a little backstory: I work at an afterschool program part-time for work study. This usually entails anything from tutoring kids K-6 in math to playing on the play structure outside on nice days.
Anyways, today I was lucky enough to be assigned to the outside crew. Here, we get to go outside and play soccer with the kids (and get paid for doing it!). This one kindergartener, Ron, was having a REALLY rough day. He always wants to play goalie, but all the other kids yell at him for not stopping enough goals - considering he's about 3 feet tall. So, he and I were on the same team, and I was trying my best to make sure Ron was being passed to; at every opportunity, I attempted to have him score. That was a bad mentality I guess...
We came to a position of having a corner kick (my teammate is kicking the ball in), and I wanted Ronald to get a header goal like one of the pros. As this black and white sphere is swirling through the air, I think, "This is too high! Ronald needs to grow about 2 feet, right...NOW!" and I lifted him straight into the air, where the ball promptly collided with his tiny face. He laid on the ground crying for the rest of the game, and my coworkers on the other side of the field, from their position, said that it looked like I intentionally just lifted this little person right into soccer-ball-to-face contact. | I accidentally got a child hit in the face with a soccer ball, which looked entirely intentional. |
t3_2w89y6 | relationships | My S/O [23 M] is taking a job where he will make WAY more money than me [24 F]. Feels like the relationship will be unbalanced. | My boyfriend graduated last year and both of us were making relatively the same wage. Recently he's accepted a job that is almost a 6 figure salary. Not only am I fiercely jealous of his wage at such a young age but he wants to move to a bigger "swanky" apartment next to a city that I know I can not afford to pay equal share with and if I do, I will have nothing saved up.
I can accept that he is making more, however I feel like the relationship is unbalanced. He suddenly will treat me to a lot of things I can't afford, which is nice, but I can't reciprocate. I won't be able to buy him anything expensive much less have the time to do anything nice now that I'm working 2 jobs.
I just want to figure out a way to feel like I'm not being "taken care of " and actually contributing to the relationship even if I can't financially. I want to make things as equal and fair as possible, but how can I when I wouldn't be able to pay half of our rent? How can I make things fair when I'll be out of the house working 80 hours a week so I can't even cook for him unless its at 11pm? My fear is that he will grow to feel like I'm freeloading or not contributing and I don't want that to strain us because we're in a really good place right now. "More money, more problems" etc. LOL | My boyfriend makes significantly more money than me and I want to make sure it won't cause major problems in our relationship. Any tips on trying to keep the relationship balanced or how I can contribute more on a low budget/busy schedule? |
t3_xzfy3 | relationship_advice | [22/m] Seek advice to my situation! GF [25/f] | Dear Reddit:
I have been a lurker on reddit for over 2 years, and I never felt like making an account until now... I have always thought advice from reddit always quite good, and I never felt like I really need it... until now.. :(
I am a soon to be third year uni student (studying in UK), and my girlfriend is now graduated this year from her masters and finding jobs in US, (where she is from). I met her this year and started going out knowing that I will be moving with her after I graduated and continue with masters in US. She has a depression problem resulted from her last relationship and the death of her grandparents, and thus taking antidepressant daily. I am now currently on holiday in US for 1 month exactly, and we took a holiday to South Korea for about 1 week during that time.
After we have come back from holiday, she starts to experience quite frequent dizziness and fainted for the first time today. She always feel exhausted due to depression and the antidepressant and now more than usual (I think?), and I always thought she has low blood pressure due to antidepressant. But I fear that she is pregnant, she won't do a body check before I leave (which is Monday evening (midnight flight from US)....soooooooo kinda desperate :S).
I am trying to convince her to take a pregnancy test, but I fear that it will come out positive, but I am planning for the possible outcome, I am seriously considering that if she is pregnant and wanting to keep it, I am going to drop out of university and finding jobs in US as one of not finishing the degree (.....) But I know that this is definitely not the best option for either me or the baby (if there is one), simply because I am studying Engineering and it will be very difficult. So my question is simply seeking any advice to what I should do or any relevant advice is definitely helpful. (I am aware the most obvious one is pregnancy test and this will clear up situation, but what should I say to a very exhausted gf who doesn't want to until I leave)
Thank you so much for reading...
Call me Charlie | girlfriend have depression and on antidepressant, we went on holiday, she fainted for the first time after we came back, me thinking she is pregnant, leaving Monday evening and not really sure what to do, asking for advice about what I should do. |
t3_nlnf5 | relationships | Has anyone else suffered with being too invested to the point that they overthink things? How did you overcome that? (x-post) | First of all, we're both 18 and we've been seeing each other for about 4 months. This has a good bit to do with me as opposed to her and my relationship with each other. She'll probably end up reading this, but only after I've had time to talk to her.
Anyway, I feel like I've been getting way too invested with this girl. I feel very strongly about her and I just want to spend as much time with her as I can, which I think is the problem. I don't have any other friends that I really want to hang out with (my best friend is my roommate and I need a break every now and again) and I think it's making me over-think everything.
She lives a few hours from where I live so I can't see her while we're not on campus. When we're together it's great and I love being around her. I'm having a really hard time gathering my thoughts, though. She's been really busy over the break, which I understand. It just feels like our conversations have changed to a less playful tone and she's even said that she has a bit of trouble showing emotions when there isn't any physical contact.
She says that she still cares about me the same way that she has but it doesn't feel that way sometimes. It feels like I am not very high on her priority list, even though she says I am...but the feeling is important.
I feel like it will be mostly okay when we are in person again with the exception of two main things - she doesn't seem to be very interested in me when we are in public with our friends (she seemed to be very happy and smiling a lot of the time around her past boyfriend) and I don't know how it will be while we are not together.
Again, I think it may just be that I am over-thinking everything but some of the things I just don't know about. Am I totally overreacting and being too invested in this? I care about her so, so much and I just want her to be happy but I also want her to be as happy with me as I've seen her before. | Great while together, don't know while apart, feel like I'm only on her priority list while together because we're already together. I care about her so much but I feel like I am getting too emotionally invested in her to the point that I'll smother her but I'm afraid of the path it feels like we're going down. She doesn't have much time to talk right now so that doesn't help at all (not that that's her fault). |
t3_2myfad | relationships | My girlfriend (32) smokes weed everyday and I (32) don't . | I've been dating my g\f for about 8 months. I knew she smoked before we started dating, it was 2 - 3 times a week, and on occasion before we would go out on the weekends. She mentioned that she used to "chief" all the time when she was younger.
She now smokes almost every single day, usually 2-3 times a day. I personally wouldn't care, except that one she gets high her personality changes a bit (obviously). She isn't' very affectionate at all (she is very attentive and affectionate when she isnt high), but wants to "hang out", which involves her talking about the most random things (not even amusing stuff), surfing facebook, and eventually falling asleep. Basically nothing like the girl I initially met, and liked enough to start dating (she is\was super outgoing, funny, and amazing in the sack).
For the past 3 weeks or so she has been smoking a ton and I haven't felt very connected to her at all, and I think it's time I bring it up with her. The problem...I have noticed that people who smoke weed get PISSED when you point out that it's makes them act different, and will attempt to kill you to if you remotely hint at them stopping, or cutting back on smoking.
At any rate, we have a great thing going, and I need to try my best to save it..how do I approach her about this? | My girlfriend smokes weed and its killing our relationship, need to know how to talk to her about it. |
t3_3dzr68 | relationships | Girl(17F) I'm(19M) dating is very robotic, any tips on how she can loosen up? | Met a cute, smart girl at my house party a few weeks ago and we've now been on two dates. The first was a double date with my best friend and his girlfriend who is also the girl's best friend, we went to Nando's (popular chicken restaurant in the UK) and then bowling.
Throughout the double date I was of course asking her questions about herself, then I would reply with a comment and try to make it humorous, she'd laugh and that was the convo dead. This happened the entire night and she asked me 1 question in the space of 4 hours.
I walked her home that night and kissed her before she left. Note: I'm the first guy she had ever been on a date with and the first guy she has kissed.
The second date was just me and her and we went to the movies to see Antman. Throughout the film I was rubbing her thighs to get her to feel more relaxed with me and she enjoyed this very much (I asked). We got on an empty bus and things got very touchy feely during the journey home but I could see in her face that she was almost scared of me, I think it's probably because of how intense I can get at times.
I walked her home and we had an even longer kissing session than last time and she says I really want to see you again soon, I'm happy cos she's really nice but I fear that the next date which will be at a restaurant with just her and I will be a bit shit due to her only asking two questions in about 7 hours of being together.
It's this due to her inexperience of being around guys or do you think she was nervous the entire time we were together? Any tips on how to get her to come out of her shell for next time? | Girl I'm dating has only asked me 2 questions on 2 dates and seems a bit uptight, how do I make her relax? |
t3_2pzowf | Advice | Should I get student loans for the sake of living on my own? | I'm 25 years old and I've just recently started going to school. I have zero debt and have always paid out of pocket for everything. Growing up my dad always bitched about how much debt he's in so I told myself early on that I would never put myself in that position.
I'm going to be transferring to a university close by soon, and planned on taking out loans once I get to university to pay for tuition. Even taking loans for tuition is scaring me, but I'm willing to invest in myself for my education. Since the university is close my parents agreed to let me stay and help with giving me a roof over my head.
Here's the issue I'm having, my dad is out of his fucking mind. Though him and my mom agreed to let me stay at his house he forgets it every night. Every night he makes himself a drink and proceeds to get drunk, slowly turning into a psychotic monster.
I'll spare you the details of how fucked up he is, but I for the sake of advice just know I am at the end of my wits. I'm on the verge of kicking the shit out of him. Most of all it's affecting my school work and concentration.
I'm not asking for advice with my relationship with my dad, it's too far gone. I'm asking if I should get loans out to help pay for a living arrangement near school even if its avoidable?
On one hand I feel like I shouldn't drown myself in debt because my dad is an asshole. If I can just ignore him I can stay home and save myself thousands. On the other hand he might affect my sanity and even worse my school work. What should I do? | My dad's a psychotic twat and I don't want to swim in debt because of him. |
t3_1yd2ya | relationships | Me [18 F] with my girlfriend [20s F] of six months. She wants to part ways after ten years. | She told me that she loves me, and she'll never move on from me, but she wants to part ways after a decade or so. She told me she'll always love me, and we'll always be together in a sense afterwards and it isn't that she's breaking up with me. She just doesn't want me to have to see her die, or the other way around. She thinks it's best. I want to grow old with her.
Has anyone else encountered this before? I'm not really asking for advice, since I'm the only person other than her that really understands this relationship. I want to know if anyone else has been told this, and what happened. | Girlfriend told me she wants to move on after a decade or so to avoid one of us having to die on the other. Is this common? |
t3_3gozdn | tifu | TIFU by dropping my laptop | This is my first Reddit post and it happened months ago...
I normally like to have my laptop on my bed while play games (serves multiple purposes like charging my controller). I was playing destiny and for the lack of matchmaking for raids I had use a site for hooking up with other players. I got into a group and it was getting serious (since I was performing badly) and completely forgot about my laptop. Little did I know, I pushed it off the bed and it landed on the charging cord (or the male) jack. Good thing it was it was still working. So after the raid (my performance did go up) I decided to watch Netflix which drained my battery and made my laptop die. I tried charging it but there was damage on the plastic. Apparently it severed the connection between the male and female jack. | Don't "accidentally" drop or push devices off your bed (it may get back at you may not like it) |
t3_49mybn | relationships | My girlfriend [19f] and I [22m] were talking about the pill and she got really defensive | Me and her were talking about kids and how we don't want to have them so I said half jokingly that she should go on the pill.
She said it causes cramps, infertility ect ect. I was only talking about everything I new about the pill, from what I understand is that it's used to regulate your period and helps people with inconsistent periods as well as helps people who have endometriosis.
None the less she was saying how everyone she knows said they were having their period for like 20 days how it is so terrible.
I really don't know because cause I'm not a woman. Now she's mad at me because she thinks I'm all high and mighty like I know what's best. I'm just telling her what I know about the pill.
I guess my question is this: Is the pill really that bad? I'm not trying to convince her to go on it or anything. Am I coming from a place of ignorance or is she? | What I learned about the pill and what her friends have told her are two conflicting arguments. Ive learned from school/credible Internet resources that it's a good thing and she said she's herd from various people with real world experience that it is an absolute nightmare. |
t3_4097ai | relationship_advice | Can you be in love with two guys at the same time? | I'm [21F] very confused, I have a bf [22M] and I've been with him for two years and I love him so much, but I a few months ago I started hanging out with this guy [21M] who used to be my friend way back, and he's in love with me and he told me that he knows I have a bf and he respects that so he'll just try to get over me but as time kept passing and my bf was away for four months we began to talk more and I began getting these mixes feelings and I think I fell for him really hard, problem is my friend is really hurting because of me and I can't tell him I love him because when I'm with my bf I love him exactly the same, and I don't know what to do it's killing me that I love them both and neither one of them deserves to get hurt. | I think I'm in love with both my boyfriend and my best guy friend and I'm too confused about what to do... |
t3_1sro6p | relationships | Some motivational help needed | Don't know if this belongs here or not, but I shall give a little backstory before my question. I currently (last week) lost my job, I'm in IT, due to the fact that I got a contempt charge in court for traffic violations. Feeling extremely down about what to do since ill be homeless in about 2 months with no income coming in. Was wondering if anyone had some insight on how to get another decent paying job quickly because I'm going out of my mind from stress. My girlfriend has let me stay with her to get back on my feet a little and has been absolutely amazing with everything. | got a contempt of court charge for traffic tickets. Went to jail for 10 days and subsequently lost my job because of it. My dream job at that. |
t3_cs1l3 | relationship_advice | I made a technological-territorial boundaries error with my boyfriend. Please help | We've been dating for two years, we're in our mid- and late-twenties. Fully awesome relationship, we suck the marrow out of life together. He teaches me the best techniques for this. Life circumstances (school, work) are making it so that we have to live 70 miles apart for an indeterminate amount of time (6-12 months) so we have been cooling it off a little to save ourselves the heartache of being together every day and immediately not seeing each other. (We don't currently live together because, well, we don't have much money).
The other night he left his cell phone at my house and went to work in the morning. I called him at work to invite him over for dinner and to get his phone. He said he'd come after he finished visiting a friend of ours (but mostly his) in the neighborhood.
An hour after he said he'd come I called the friend from his phone to invite them both over for dinner because I had plenty of food and wine. The friend said that my boyfriend had already left hours ago and had said he'd "lost" his phone.
Then an incoming call came from his father's cell. I missed it but called back thinking he'd gone home and was calling to let me know.
When he came by later he was pissed I'd called his friend so I didn't mention the dad. When he saw his recent calls he blew up, said "My father doesn't even know we're seeing each other right now," and left saying "don't call me."
Inbox this morning: "Don't come by my work for any reason. I'll call you sometime after I replace my broken phone."
I'm sad. Don't know what to do. Wrote a friendly apologetic email.
Cell phones and other communication channels seem very sacred to him. Is this a man thing? | Semi-estranged boyfriend left phone at my house, I called his friend and father from this phone under very normal circumstances. He's pissed, esp. because father didn't know we were seeing each other again. |
t3_4sl2qm | relationships | I (26/F) am having a hard time reading my boyfriends (28/M) emotions - no "i love you" | hi!
so we have been dating for about 7 months now. He's a really sweet guy, we trust each other, we argue but we talk it out, he's extremely caring and thoughtful. We are like best friends, yet he's affectionate and loving too.
I'm having a hard time reading him though. He hasn't said I love you yet (I said it a month ago at the 6 month mark) and his only reason is "I am not there yet." But don't you kinda "know" by 6 months if you can love someone?
Secondly, on that note, he isn't expressing his emotions very well. When he compliments our relationship, its usually pretty basic - "I'm happy in our relationship" or "I'm so happy you're in my life." He's not very good with words but I can't figure out if he's truly happy or if he just sucks at communicating. He's the type of guy who bottles things up sometimes (not just with us, but with work, personal stresses, etc). He doesn't verbalize his feelings often, but I like to hear them. I should note that he shows emotions in other places too (not just with me), like he cried when we watched V for Vendetta. Thoughts? I feel like I've done all I can to make him feel safe to bring his guard down.
I really don't know how I can make him feel more comfortable around me to express his feelings or how I can get him to feel more secure in saying I love you. Thoughts? | Boyfriend hasn't said I love you and seems unemotional with words. I need to help trying to break his shell still. |
t3_pyw0r | travel | Japan and the outter city/countryside | Hi dudes,
I've just booked my first trip with my partner overseas. I've been to japan when I was younger and we did the usual Tokyo/Kyoto stuff which I want to do again now that I'm older and don't have a family holding me back.
We're going for about 2 and a half weeks and roughly I'm looking to spend say half in the city and then some time in the country side doing cultural things. We'll be restricted to the main island and we're going to get Rail passes.
What I've got in mind is maybe something in the mountains, spending a night or two, lodging at a temple or on a farm of some kind, I want to try and experience the old traditional life.
At this stage name of places and things are throwing me off and it all seems overwhelming so if anyone has some ideas or reccomendations for interesting places to go outside of the main cities that'd be great. | needing ideas for lodging/bed and breakfast type things with a traditional style accomodation/living. |
t3_2yq4rx | personalfinance | Out of work, no money, everytime I try it seems like I fail, no hope of finding work. Help me. | Hello everybody, I have been reading reddit for a little while, but this is my first time posting.
Here is my situation:
I am 24 years old and I work in finance. I helped my siblings build up their real estate company, but then was subsequently fired from that company once they no longer needed me. I started my own company and have been working very diligently on it and I even have several large investors that are willing to back me, but now I am running into the problem of nothing good to buy. I have spent months talking to real estate agents, brokers, sellers, and other individuals trying to find a good real estate deal to buy, but no such luck. It seems like I helped build up a company at a good time, but then as soon as I started my company the market changed and now acquisitions are damn near impossible to find.
I continue to work every day on finding something, but I have recently started putting my resume out there to try to find some kind of work. However, I am running across the additional problem that I have no education to back my experience. My most recent job title was Director of Business Development and before that I was a manager at a fortune 500 company. I have put out a ton of applications and haven't even heard a response back.
In addition to all of that, I (as a last resort) have asked close friends if they would help me find some sort of work, but they have not been able to do anything for me.
I am a very hard working person and I would do pretty much any job well as that is just the way that I work, but I am stuck in this place where I can't get anything of value done.
My wife and I have a baby on the way and I want to be able to support them, but currently we are living with my wife's mom and it is a serious blow. I feel defeated everyday, but I still move forward and try to make things happen.
Is there anything that I have overlooked? I network frequently and look for opportunities. | Family screwed me out of a company I helped build, now I am living at my mother-in-law's house with no job, no money, and little prospect of success. Fuck. |
t3_3spxog | relationship_advice | [23/F]My BFF's [28/F] relationship with her LD BF [51/M] is destroying our friendship. | My best friend is in a three-year LDR with an older man. I don't have an issue with the distance (4 hours) or the age difference (23 years), but the relationship is so self-destructive that I don't think I can stand by and watch any longer.
In short, she wants a future with her BF but he doesn't want the same. He could leave her at any moment to teach abroad, which he's flat-out told her. She doesn't have anything at all holding her here, and, in fact, her life really sucks right now. I won't go into detail. But she can't move in with him because A. he hasn't offered, and B. he's going to eventually leave her, which, again, she knows. She's acknowledged that she wants a future with him, and that she would move in with him if he wanted her to. I can tell it really, really bothers her. I can also tell that she gets a lot of her self-worth from this relationship, which is a reason she won't leave.
Oh, and he didn't drive up for her mother's funeral. But she drives down there every few months to visit. So there's also that.
She's an amazing person, and I love and care about her so much. It's incredibly painful for me to watch her continue to hurt herself like this. I've talked to her about it, and she acknowledged that it's not the healthiest relationship but that she's going to stay until he leaves her because he makes her happy when they're together.
I honestly don't think our friendship is going to last. I want to support her through everything, but I don't know if I can. It makes me sick when she comes home from a visit and cries for days because now she's back to being lonely and depressed. I can't watch her do this to herself anymore.
Is it okay to step back from our friendship? Or should I continue to support her? | My best friend is in an unhealthy, self-destructive long-distance relationship. She wants a future with her BF, but he has told her that he's going to eventually leave her. She stays because he makes her happy, even though she's severely depressed otherwise. I've talked to her about it, but she says she won't leave the relationship until he leaves her. Should I step back from our friendship? Or should I support her through everything? |
t3_e9qh9 | AskReddit | I need Help! Tomorrow is my first massage, and I am nervous!!! | tomorrow I'm going to get my first massage, i checked the website and it's called a lomi lomi massage, which means that i have to get naked and wear a towel. The massage woman is one of my moms friends. I have never been touched soothingly with oil's all over my body, so the thing i am worried about most is getting a huge erection!
Is it normal to get a boner in these situations? are the massage therapists use to this? what can i do to prevent it? it would be embarrassing to get on since i know the woman and she knows my family. give me some good advice guys please. | Getting a massage tomorrow, don't want to get a boner, wat do? |
t3_30x68j | tifu | TIFU by making a homeless man run along side my car with money hanging out of the window. | I hate that this happened, but here it goes.
I'm with a friend at a red light when we see a homeless man asking motorists for change, when I told my friend to take a five from my wallet and give it to him. My friend made the comment that the guy looked like he could be aggressive. So, when he comes to our vehicle the light turns green and my friend hands the money to him (I thought!) and I roll up the window and get going.
What *actually* happened is this: My friend holds the money out for the guy, the light turns green and I start driving and rolling up the window. All the while this poor guy is sprinting alongside our car with money hanging out of a closing window. It looked so awful. | I accidentally taunted a homeless man by waving our money in his face while driving away. |
t3_35jp2q | relationships | My [F/27] bf [M/29] of 5 years keeps teasing me with fake marriage proposals. | We have been together for 5 years, our relationship are pretty good. I'm not in a hurry to get married, although I want to be married before I have children. My boyfriend also thinks that it is important to be married to have children and has told me that he sees the two of use being married in the future.
My issue with him is that, while he says that he is still not ready to get married, which is fine, he would not stop making fake proposals to me and dangling the real one in front of me like a treat I might get. By fake proposal I mean he would just randomly get down on one knee, when we are in the park or something and ask me if I would like to marry him. I always feel super awkward in those moments, and every time he gets up, starts laughing and says that I should not feel awkward because it is not a real proposal and just a joke. He then proceeds to say something cryptic about how maybe one day soon it will be real.
I asked him to stop doing his fake proposals if he was not ready to make a real one, but he told me that it's not a good thing that I cannot take a joke, and that he feels like I am pressuring him to actually propose to me. I'm at loss and don't know what to do.
How do I get my bf to stop making fake proposals because they annoy me so much? | Bf's fake proposals annoy me, how do I get him to stop? |
t3_vjwgq | AskReddit | What do you think about belly button piercings? What if your teen daughter wants one? | My 16 year old daughter wants a belly button piercing. Her reason is that she wants to do "something fun and different" and has wanted to do it for a long time. She has mentioned it before, so this desire isn't unknown to me. Now that she's 16 she is really putting the pressure on.
On the one hand, it really doesn't bother me. On the other hand, many in my generation/demographic views it as "slutty". On the gripping hand, she will get one eventually anyway and maybe resent us from holding her back from her piercing dreams. If I'm not being lied to, the current view of navel piercings from my daughter's peers is that they're just a cutsie "girly girl" thing.
I'm considering letting her do it. Her mother (we are divorced) had one for a month when she was 28 but it got infected. She is on the fence about it, but was leaning towards letting her do it when she graduates high school. She is slowly considering saying yes. My wife thinks she shouldn't get it until she graduates and she is quite firm in that opinion.
So my fellow redditors, what would your decision be and why? It would also be great to hear stories from teens who had it done. | Should I let my 16 year old daughter get a belly button piercing? |
t3_35w7wk | relationships | Me [24 M] with my gf [25 F] 1 mo, when should I ask her if we're exclusive?**tl;dr**: When do i ask if we're exclusive?! | Sorry I'm not great at relationships, I'm a pretty smart guy but really dumb with relationships so I thought I'd asked ya'll for some help.
So far we've gone on 7 dates, we kissed on the first date, made out our second date, and have since progressed to everything but the fourth base.
Things have gone really well and we're on our eighth date when she comes back from vacation. Would the eighth date be acceptable to ask if we're exclusive?
I like her a lot and want something long term, we've gone to the movies, I've taken her to baseballs games and she's a real sweetheart.
I don't want to blow this and make something great fold by pushing this. | When is a good point to ask if exclusive? |
t3_1qzp1t | relationships | I [17 M] am beginning to have unusual conflicts with my parents [40M/50F] due to the subject of race relations. | If you clicked on this post with the assumption that I am asking for help in dealing with my parent's racism, then you will be quite surprised by the *inverse* nature of my issues.
Since the age of 13, I suppose you could say that I acquired a tendency to make off-handed deprecatory comments about people of other races. Because I am very polite and respectful, these remarks never involved any form of racial slurs or profanity. At the time, my parents took the whole matter as a joke and dismissed my remarks with snarky rejoinders. However, as I have matured, I am beginning to notice that they are taking these issues much more seriously than they once did. They are starting to show anger/irritation at my expression of certain prejudicial views, and they insist that my actions/beliefs are racist.
Thus, I come here to ask the obvious question: are my parents correct? | My parents say that I am a racist, and I seek to discern the validity of this accusation. |
t3_2alxv1 | relationships | Me [37 F] with my daughter [14 F], she has been drinking since age 13 | She's had many friends who are high school aged this year (she just finished middle school). I first saw her drunk when she was 13. We had a talk about it and we got a lot stricter about knowing who she was with, where she was, etc. I next caught her 3 weeks later alone in her room drinking, and this has only gotten more frequent since she turned 14. I don't know where she is getting the alcohol, she is grounded from parties and all non supervised outings, I keep a strict eye on her at home, but then I find a beer can under the bag in her trash bin, or an empty bottle of vodka in her sock drawer. I've caught her drinking in her closet in the middle of the night when she thinks everyone is sleeping. She is not a problem child aside from this, she's a bright likable girl, she's never had an attitude with me, her father or siblings, no problems at school or at home, she's never rebelled against us and is regretful and apologizes and cries every time we catch her. She is very empathetic and knows that this is hurting us but she keeps doing it, she says that she likes it. There were no warning signs, there is nothing out of the ordinary with her apart from the drinking, what are we supposed to do? She is in counseling but there hasn't been progress. | Young daughter is drinking for seemingly no reason, want to step in |
t3_2b9x8y | relationships | Me [25 F] and my (new) boyfriend [24 M] both suffer from anxiety and it's causing us to have these emotionally taxing, super defensive, anxiety riddled relationship talks. | First off, f throwaways. I think hes following my account but he did ask me to talk to someone soooo....
So there's this guy. We've been dating since early July. We jumped into a relationship quickly, but I'm okay with that. Anyways, since the second date we have occasionally had these anxiety fueled discussions. No clue how they even start but during them, we both wonder if it's even worth it. A major point right now seems to be sex. It's...varied. We can enjoy it occasionally but getting calm enough to can be an issue. Plus, I'm not a virgin but I've never been in a sexually satisfying relationship nor did I realize it was possible until recently.
So what can we do? I want to work through issues and I want to continue open communication but neither of us can stand the analytical, defensive anxiety conversations that happen like every other date. How can we stop this? | Two anxious analytical people, what to do? |
t3_2lc75u | relationships | Me [25F] with my ex fling? [30 M] of 3 and half month and he just stopped talking. I was serious | First time ever in reddit. i'm this desperate.
I'm 25F in korea, He is 30M american here for tour and almost wrap up and leave on early next year.
I met him Okcupid.. It all just started few message back and forth. and i didn't mean to be serious with him or anything at first but somehow he put mojo on me to fall for him since I knew he would leave country at some point.
We talked about it and he said we were dating and i could call him as bf and i was hi gf at month and a half point.
Start the first day, we spent every weekend together at his place. tour around the city - he made my fairy tale to be true. Every cool place he took me to, those fancy dinner we had and weekend spending and ridiculous amount of talking about life, universe, and just about anything. I couldn't resist his eyes staring inside of me.
Tall, blonde, blue eyes, financially stable and.. just a what a hot hunk. opposite of any guy i was ever with. All the sudden, he stopped contact with me and sent me one text saying he's going to be busy prepare leave and i heard nothing from him.
I've message to him, called to try to talk and sort it out because it was still hurting me to not hear explanation after such a great weekend.
Tuesday that happened, nothing hear from him and i told him that i would go get my stuff from apartment. then, i got box of stuff left out at the door. that was it.
I understood but i needed a closure but i got none. I sent him long message after weekend of not hearing about why i am upset and why it's how i feel. he seem to have no empathy or sympathy towards to others feeling so it was hard for him to understand things sometimes.
I just wanna know what I should do from now on. | Guys stopped talking all the sudden, I knew it's going to be over but i need closure. don't know what to do. |
t3_4y9wm4 | Advice | I feel like I'm pretending. | Not sure just how common the fear is but lately, I've started to feel uninteresting. A bore. I force myself to think over it again and again but the more I do, I end up feeling shitty because I can't pin-point any redeemable qualities about myself. I have the ability to occasionally make others laugh. I try to be there when I know a friend is struggling. But, otherwise, there's nothing. I feel like a supporting character. The only difference is that people are interested in the complexities that go on behind a supporting character's appearance but with me, there's really nothing besides a whole lot of pitiful sadness.
I feel so empty and I struggle to believe that if I didn't have my lighthearted attitude and thoughtfulness, I'd be left behind. Maybe they won't consciously understand but the only reason they like me is because I'm the one who tries to hold on when many other people have failed to. I say it's not a bother and while I like to think it isn't, at least, for the most part, I too get tired...
I feel obligated to make the lives of around me better to the point where it becomes difficult to imagine I'd be doing anything else. I literally have no other purpose for living besides not becoming a burden on the lives of others and the thought of inconveniencing others is becoming a huge weight on my shoulders.
I don't know what it is I want. Reassurance? Sympathy? Pity? Maybe just someone to tell me they can, at the very least, understand how I'm feeling. Just knowing someone's read this makes me feel a tiny bit at ease, so thanks. | I feel like I'm not good enough for my friends and cope with it by always keeping a lighthearted, warm, and considerate attitude. If I don't keep it up, I feel like they'll realize I don't have any other redeeming qualities, mark me as uninteresting, and eventually drift away feeling fine with it. |
t3_33yx4w | relationships | Girl I've [M/21] talked to for a little [F/19] had a formal and went with someone else (more details inside) | This girl in question and I have been talking a little for a few months. She goes to a different university 2 hours away than me so it's been tough to really start anything because of the distance. We have had sex before and we've mentioned what we both want before so things have been going well but until we're back home after college it's just tough to do anything together.
We have before talked about formals and stuff like that before as she's in a sorority. She even mentioned bringing me along possibly sometime (I'm actually transferring to that school next year, nothing relating to her).
Yesterday she snapchatted me in her dress and makeup saying it was formal day and she also sent me a pic of her and her date. I've never met him or any of her friends, but he's a good friend of hers. She never mentioned the formal to me. I snapchatted a pic saying "he's cuter than me" and she responded with a face of disgust that I read as "no not at all" in body language. Still, I'm jealous.
Ever since the time about a month ago where I visited she's been really busy with school and the like. She's mentioned quite often that she wants to see me and there have been many indicators when we've texted and the like that show she still has interest. | Girl I've been talking to had a formal and went with someone else. I couldn't have gone anyway and she still shows interest in many ways, but this makes me jealous. |
t3_3udusk | tifu | TIFU by washing my sheets | So this fuck up literally happened a few minutes ago.
Since my girlfriend, my room mate, and myself moved into our apartment, we've had problems with our washing machine. It never dries anything properly, it always leaves stuff slightly damp so it smells if you put it in the cupboard, and mid-cycle it makes a sound as if a fucking jet plane is talking off in the middle of the kitchen. There's also a bit of an odd smell, sort of like bad eggs, that comes up from the drainpipe that runs from the machine. However, it's never been bad enough to mention to the landlord as it pretty much serves its purpose - it washes our clothes and, with an extra drying cycle, it dries them.
Tonight, I was laundering my sheets and after the first wash and dry, I switched the settings for a second drying and went into the bedroom my girlfriend and I share, thinking nothing of it.
Until, midway through a Netflix marathon, the fire alarm starts blaring and everyone in our building starts to file outside. Once we'd got coats and shoes on, my girlfriend, our room mate and myself followed suit. It was raining and nobody looked best pleased to be out there, myself included, but I figured someone had just burnt some food and we'd be back indoors in no time at all. I was right; someone had a key to override the system after realising there wasn't a fire and we all went back inside. As I was walking up the stairs to our apartment, I noticed that the ceiling on the floor below ours had a leak. That must have been the cause of the fire alarm - the water had tripped the system and caused the alarm to go off.
"Must be the flat above." I said to my girlfriend, who looked at me and replied, "...That's *our* flat. *We're* the flat above."
It took a second to click before I realised - it must've been the fucking washing machine. *My* sheets had inadvertently caused the whole building to have to go outside in the rain for no good reason. My landlord is now on his way to our apartment and I'm just praying that this doesn't affect our deposit because I didn't tell him sooner. | Washing machine leaked through the floor/ceiling and tripped the wires on the fire alarm, which set it off for the whole building. In November. In the pissing down rain. All because I didn't think I needed to tell our landlord that our washing machine sounds like it's trying to take off. |
t3_1bgswu | college | Vassar or Bowdoin? | I've been accepted to both, and I'm having trouble deciding. I'd say I'm academically inclined; I do well in school, but I'm not overly obsessed with grades or a career path. I really just enjoy going to class and learning for the sake of learning, so I'm looking for the most academically rigorous experience I can get. I have no idea what I want to major in, though my interests generally lie in English/History/Philosophy. I'm also really into art, music, and theater (I mostly do set design and technical theater) as well as LGBT activism (I identify as pansexual, so I don't really have many qualms about Vassar's guy/girl ratio). | I'd love to know what you guys think about the two schools, their pros and cons, and which would be the better fit for me. Thanks in advance! |
t3_217tot | relationships | Me [28 M] Heartbroken couple of times. Trying to figure out what is happening with myself | I have been "in love" a couple of times in my life. I was really into those two girls (years apart). Always felt like could do anything to be with them anytime. Got rejected both times. Wrong place...wrong time, wrong person perhaps. Ever since it happened the first time (8/9 years ago) I have not been too well for a long period of time. Always felt demotivated and a lack of interest in most things. The second time it happened (3/4) years ago, I put an emotional wall around me which eventually cost me my relationship with another girl. From then on I have become very machine-like. I am not motivated at work. My mind vehemently rejects the idea of being with someone. I think it has had enough of mental stress for a lifetime. I feel like I have emptied my heart out a couple of times and did not get anything in return. I am incapable of liking someone else and being in a committed relationship. | Question to redditors who may have had similar experiences, how long does this phase stay for? Sometimes I feel like I will end up alone because I wont be able to truly like someone like I did before. Is this fear rational? |
t3_2j6u3r | relationships | Me [23F] with my Ex-BF [23 M] together 8 months. At a total loss. | So on Thursday my boyfriend of the past several months broke up with me out of complete no where.
We were texting all day and he told me to come over when I got off work calling me babe several times throughout the conversation.
When I got off work late I went straight over to his place. We were making out and I started kissing his neck. He then said he didn't feel like having sex. I made a joking comment that we are 23 and should be having all the sex we can. Thats when it happened. He just said "I want to break up"
I am at such a loss. I feel emotionally crushed. I was not expecting it all and he wouldn't even give me an explanation as to why. I just don't know how to cope. Today I got home from work and literally didn't leave my bed once. I still have some of his stuff, he wanted to come get it today but the thought of seeing him made me physically ill.
I have no idea why I feel this way. I have had much longer relationships that have been a lot easier to cope with ending. This I just can't handle. I am head-over heels for this guy and I just don't know what the fuck to do. | Boyfriend completely blind-sighted me and broke up with me out of nowhere. |
t3_2hcbfz | relationships | I [20 M] don't know if I should tell my close friend [21F] about her cheating boyfriend [22M], a longtime friend of mine | This might be a tad long, so thanks for bearing with me. I'll start at the beginning. I met this guy, let's call him Eric, about three years ago. Our friend groups mingled and eventually merged. Through Eric, I met his girlfriend, let's call her Kate. Kate is simply put, the most gentle person I've ever met, and over the years I became pretty close with her.
Eric's situation however, went from bad to worse in those three years. He alienated most of his friends (ATM I am the only one that still has contact with him), couldn't keep a job, had drug problems, lied and stole,... the list goes on. The point is, at this point practically no one even knows why Kate is staying with him. I often felt torn between my loyalty to Eric and my loyalty to Kate.
Eventually I became closer to Kate than I was to Eric, and this is where the trouble began. I used to keep Eric's secrets, but this got harder and harder to do as I got closer with his girlfriend. Recently, they came to a small hiccup in the relationship (he 'needed space').
Kate, seemingly suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, wants to go on with Eric, even though she is a really great girl and Eric is by now the largest fuck-up I have ever met.
I don't like to interfere in other people's business, and usually I'd say this is her choice and therefore not my concern. But what I know is that Eric cheated on her at least once, probably more (with prostitutes), and I feel bad letting Kate continue the relationship on false grounds. I don't know what to do. Do I tell Kate, and betray a longtime friend? Do I do nothing, and feel guilty when this relationship ends in tears? Or do I confront Eric and demand he tell her the truth? | Longtime friend [M] cheated on very good friend of mine [F], what do I do? |
t3_2vl8r3 | tifu | TIFU by forcing Chemo images on a subordinate. | I'm a manager at a store which has a large amount of Hallmark-like cards on display. We are currently going through inventory and must separate cards into categories to count for our auditor. Well, I delegated the task to a subordinate (Anon2) and had them specifically in a section for "Get Well." For some dark humor reason, there are a ton of cards on cancer and chemotherapy (such as ones like this So, for about 3 hours the subordinate sorted through these cards and my co-manager came up to me and said, "Hey Anon, you do know that Anon2's mom just got diagnosed with cancer... right?" As I gazed into his eyes with a cold sweat taking over. I then searched my memory to make sure I didn't make any jokes or anything and remembered picking up a similar card to the card I posted a link of above and saying, "Wow. This is a terrible card. What kind of dark humor is this? They may have well of made a joke about the Holocaust." And Anon responded by just nodding IIRC.
Luckily, Anon2 is calm and cool and we are friends outside work, so hopefully they don't take this to heart too much. Or hopefully they don't walk out crying and quit. I just moved Anon2 to a new task as lightly as possible after finding out. | I made a worker sort through Hallmark-like cards that make dark humor jokes about cancer for about three hours for inventory. The worker's mom was just diagnosed with cancer, which I didn't know. |
t3_qyz55 | AskReddit | Reddit, is it "weird" or "an invasion of privacy" to ask someone for a sip of their water (details inside)? | Dear Reddit,
A couple months ago, me and my girlfriend were having a walk, when we encounter two male classmates of hers, one of whom is her friend and the other is a guy she "half-knows". We stopped for a chat and I was thirsty as fuck. I noticed the "half-knows" guy had a bottle of water and, since there were no vending machines or convenience stores within a mile, I asked him for a sip. He denied it.
Today, this topic came up in conversation and she defended her half-friend fiercely, saying that asking for water is "weird", an "invasion of [his] privacy" and "something that you just don't do". I am honestly of the opinion that making someone walk a mile for a sip of water when you have a bottle on your hand is selfish and rude. But I wanna know your opinion, Reddit. I know not many people will read this (since it's not in the "what's your most ______ story?" format), but I'd honestly like to get opinions, since it's my girlfriend's view that "90% of Americans" would deny me a sip of their water in that situation. | basically the title of the post. |
t3_48f7bl | relationships | I'm [17M] currently in high school stuck with a dilemma with a girl I kind of like a while back who recently broke up with my best friend. | Well, my friend (lets call him Caleb) recently broke up with his
girlfriend (lets call her Alyssa) after a long 3 year relationship. Caleb
and I were friends with each other since freshman year we knew
each other pretty well and worked well together. Alyssa and I knew
each other through classes and study groups well knew each other
pretty well and we're pretty friendly with each other. Well, lets skip
to the interesting part, so its been 2 weeks after Caleb and Alyssa
broke up, and Alyssa has been flirting really hard with me ranging
from text messages to physical messages. So now I'm left with 3
choices | 1: Succumb to by desires and go out with Alyssa whilst totally disrespecting Caleb 2: Totally blow Alyssa off or 3: Say I'm gay |
t3_3nuyop | relationships | how can I [18 M] stop thinking about this individual crush [18 F] | I know this sounds stupid, but I can't stop thinking about this girl in my class that I don't know anything about. Hell, I don't even know her name. The only reason I like this girl is because she looks identical to another girl that I had a crush on a year ago as we had so much in common and she was perfect for me | How can I forget about this gird |
t3_23z7rq | relationships | Me [26 F] and how to get over [28 M] | I had a LDR for 2 years. Now most people look and say LDR's aren't meant to last, but with what I've been through, I really think some of them do. Mine had a bad ending.
My ex broke up with me out of the blue. He started avoiding me a few days before. He said he didn't know what he wanted to do in life. He also said he didn't love me. I couldn't believe that, because he did things for me that any good boyfriend would do: send packages, listen to my stories, sing songs to me...
So we broke up as friends and still chat with each other - without calling on Skype. But he seems very blunt every time I talk to him. I can understand that. It just feels really bad because we're not even talking while we used to talk so much.
The thing that bothering me is I still don't know what his true feelings are for me. I don't know if he still wants to be friends or me being part of his life, or he just needs time to think. It's hard for me to understand what he is going through.
I'm starting to live my own life and start making new friends, and it's kinda helping me to get over him. I'm going to meetups and talking to strangers. I'm just not sure if I'll ever get over him and can start dating someone again. I broke up with someone (four year relationship) before him, and now it's just starting to feel like he was just the rebound guy. | I don't want to leave my LDR ex behind because I want to be his friend. Not sure what he's thinking 'cause he's very blunt every time I talk to him. What do I do? Also, how do I get over him and start dating again? |
t3_uersa | dating_advice | Transition from friends to more than friends. | Backstory: this girl (20) and I (21) have become good friends these past two months. We met in a painting class in college. I being the SAP I am, little be little, have started showing more signs of interest.
We are both very compatible and constantly joke and poke fun at one another. However, we have never discussed past relationships or potential relationships (staying out of that friend-zone-area). She is single, although has her fair share of male suitors.
The question I need help with is how do I transition this friendship into something more? I have been upping the kino between us, we are both comfortable letting each other in our "personal space," and I make sure to never treat her like "one of the guys"
So should I point blank ask her for a date? And hope it doesn't catch her off guard. Should I try to get her to "hang out" and gauge her interest after that. Should I just be honest and tell her how I feel? Being a friend we already know so much about each other a date would even feel odd (oh so what do you do, do you like such/such, etc). What is the best way to let her know I want to be more than friends. | Friend (girl) have become really close, show text book signs of interest yet she still gives signs of restraint. How to transition from friends to dating etc. |
t3_kun4j | AskReddit | Underclassmen dating upperclassmen...okay or not? | Now that I'm an upperclassman (a junior, 17/m and at a private school, if that helps), it's become a lot more obvious that some girls like to date older guys. I'm one of those guys, now.
As a result, a couple of freshman girls have been flirting with me. I would almost be willing to date one of them...she seems fairly mature, and we have a lot in common.
Still, I can't get past the fact that this girl is as young as my little sister. Plus I'm still thinking about my ex quite a bit, but that relationship is definitely, 100% over.
SO the main thing stopping me from flirting back and maybe asking this girl out is her age. | is it okay for juniors to date freshmen? Why or why not? |
t3_m33ik | AskReddit | Dating an awkward texter... advice! | Just want to get some unbiased third party thoughts here:
Last year around this time, I ran into an old high school friend at a local Starbucks. We hadn't talked since high school, but it was really nice to see him. I was in a serious long-distance relationship at the time. [He was actually my first kiss in eighth grade, as it turns out, and I had a pretty severe crush on him in high school.] He messaged me on facebook, we exchanged numbers and texts and went out to dinner... it felt very much like a date so I didn't go out with him again at that time. Then, when I got out of my relationship, so around May of this year, we ended up going out again, like two weeks after my break-up. The first date was great, but he was sort of disengaged the second date and it ended awkwardly. I asked him if he wanted to come up to my apartment and he declined. Then he texted me this apology, saying that he's super awkward and doesn't know how to be in social situations without alcohol. I figured I'd let him get in touch with me when he was ready so we didn't go out again until this week. He texted me out of the blue and we went out. It was a lot of fun. I was sort of excited about going out with him again. He told me that he dated a girl since we last went out, so I figured that was why he didn't stay in touch. So, this brings me to today. We were supposed to go out tonight, but he texted me to say that he didn't sleep at all last night and that he wouldn't have any energy to go out tonight, but that he was free this week. I said, Alright and that I was free on certain days and I haven't heard back from him since 10:30 this morning (He usually responds to texts quickly.) So, I'm wondering if I should read into this at all or what? I mean, whatever happens happens, but I thought he was at least interested enough to go out again. Mind you, these "dates" have never been explicitly stated as such, but they feel very much like dates and have the make up of a date. So ya, thoughts people? | Dating childhood friend on and off, but backed out of tonight's date due to lack of sleep last night. Is it bs? |
t3_17rvsh | legaladvice | Need Advice: Child Support Rights [Son thinks father is "family friend", devout Christian mother won't let father see son] | I was unsure which subreddit to put this under, and hope I receive some advice here.
My boyfriend has a son, six years old. He's been paying $120/mo in child support and has seen his son only 3-4 times. The insane Christian mother hates him, of course, and likes to see his pain. My boyfriend had plans to move 1500 miles away before the son was even conceived, and the mother despises him for running away. She therefore never lets him visit, not even a phone call. He played "Santa" last Christmas and dropped off a gift on the front porch for his son in which the next day he got a phone call from her saying to never come to their house again.
She is now demanding more chid support. He is a bartender and makes $2000/mo but sometimes can make more, so he is looking at having to pay $498-$900 per month for one child he never ever sees, and the son doesn't even know who his real father is. The mother won't let him see him anywhere at all, see him at school, share photos, (he has ONE picture of him from 4 years ago) , share grade reports, she won't even let him call to talk to his son on the phone for a minute.
They went to a therapist and the therapist said the longer the child waits and the more the child ages, the more psychologically damaged he will be subconsciously later in life. The mother doesn't care, she only cares for her selfish well-being and seeing my boyfriend suffer.
I myself have no clue what to do. He has court on the 6th but can't afford an attorney, but there has to be another way. This is unjust and unfair, and I know life is unfair, but there just has to be another way. | Hateful, grudge-holding mom asking bio father to pay 5-9x more child support per mo for 6 yr old child he's 3x in which child knows not his real father* |
t3_1gwqvn | relationships | My[19M] boyfriend ruined our [18F] two year relationship over nothing. | Ok, I know everything will start with "you're young" or " it's be be expected!" Sort of thing but please, save it. Just because we are young doesn't make it any easier. That being said, lets begin.
I gave this person everything of me. He took my first everything and for someone who was breaking off from a very strict household, that meant everything to me. He was my first love, my first boyfriend, first person I kissed and held hands with. I knew we were young but towards the later part of our relationship he kept hinting at marriage and, when that scared me, I didn't let it effect anything since I knew he was speaking from the bottom of his heart; or so I thought.
I thought that we were a pretty solid deal and so I had worked two jobs in order to help him start paying for an apartment in the state where he was currently going to college at. I gave every single penny I ever had, I picked out the apartment and searched endlessly for the best deals, things of tha sort...
But shortly after everything was settled and it was in his name, he broke up with me. Apparently it was over different views we have one on thing but it was minor. What couple doesn't have differences? That's what makes them, right? Surely he wouldn't use me like that if he loved me, right? If he had found someone who could pleasure him correctly since I am new and still afraid of penises, still unable to touch them, he would tell me or try to help me, or talk to me about- right?
No. He wouldn't.
I put my 100% in everything because I wanted it to work. I planned my life with this guy. I don't even know how to date but that's what my friends keep saying that I should do. Currently I have a 'practice buddie' who's helping me learn how to please a man so maybe I won't be a mess up with the next relationship I get into... | Boyfriend fucked me over after two years even though I gave everything, including my virginity. How am I supposed to deal with this? How do you date? |
t3_uscd9 | AskReddit | Am I being too harsh on those particularly obnoxious family members on Facebook that seem to think sounding at least somewhat educated is overrated? | My little sister posts statuses like this all the time, and I literally never call her out on it. Today, I decided to, and that one aunt that I'm sure we all have had to butt in and have some defensive opinion about my comment. A comment which was directed solely at my dear sister, whom I very much want to just be the nerdy girl that goes to the library during recess. I tried to end it on a positive note with her, and here comes that one uncle I'm sure we all have that had to start up the unnecessary argument all over again. Am I being to harsh with my family members on Facebook? | this argument with my family was so dumb, I ended it with the definition of crap. should I even bother with them anymore? |
t3_1p3h2t | relationship_advice | (25M) Girlfriend has quit communicating with me | I posted earlier this week about how my gf has been stressed with work. A 5 week long ordeal that has been stressing her out. Well she's stopped talking to me. Some info, we've been dating since May. I've met her parents. I have told her I love her. So anyways. Last Friday we texted a little bit but she was on a break with her family. So I figured I'd leave her alone. Monday I texted her a picture I saw here on reddit and hoped her day went well. Didn't get a response. Today I texted her a picture of a box of power bars she got me, thanking her and telling her she is sweet. No response from that either. So at around 8:45 tonight I called her. She didnt anwer. I left a message saying I that I hope everything is going ok. We haven't talked in a while. I figure she's busy and stressed with work so I just wanted to see how its going. I hoped she'd call back or text something simppe like a hi. I also invited her tp a roast of one of my best friends. And hoped I hear back from her. Nothing so far. Just waiting. What do I do? Is it over? This is just bizarre. I hate this feeling of being in the dark. Help me out here. I just dont get it. | gf of six months has just quit talking to me. Help me please. |
t3_28uwr9 | relationships | My [27/M] close friend [26/M] has a huge crush on my gf [26/F] of 3 years. | I met my friend (we'll call him Andrew) about a year and a half ago when he started working at the same place I do. We clicked almost instantly...I used to think that I was too old to make new friends, but he proved me wrong. At the time, I was in a LDR with my GF (we'll call her Betty). She visited me once during that time (I visited her a lot more just because my schedule was way more flexible) and they (Andrew and Betty) clicked right away too...at first, I was totally delighted about this.
Fast forward to this February, when Betty finally moved up here. We've been hanging out with Andrew a LOT, and at first I felt like the three of us had developed an amazing rapport. But then Betty and I started to see signs that he had a crush on her. He would be so much happier to see her than me, or he would make comments to me alone about how I was so lucky to be dating the most beautiful girl in the world, and so on. Betty and I both agree on this (as does a mutual friend).
Here's the thing: I know with 100% confidence that Betty would never cheat on me, and I also know with 100% confidence that Andrew would never let that kind of situation happen. I trust them both beyond any doubt. The problem is more that Andrew doesn't seem to be making any effort to get over her in any way, and it's making me feel worried for him and a little jealous at the same time. I'm not sure whether the jealousy is clouding my judgment here, but I don't want him being so infatuated with Betty (not only for my and her sake, but for his too).
If I bring this up with him, he'd brush it off and wouldn't let me talk about it - he tends to never take conversations about relationships seriously. What should I do?
(throwaway since Andrew knows my main reddit username) | My close friend has developed a crush on my gf. I don't suspect cheating and never would, but it makes me uncomfortable and I don't know what to do about it. |
t3_37ifta | Advice | Renting & Pool Repairs | My husband and I currently rent our house which happens to have a pool. Our contract states that we are responsible for maintenance and cleaning of said pool, which to make sure everything is done correctly we pay the pool service that the landlord prefers to take care of it.
When we went to start thinking about opening the pool for the summer we noticed that the pool had drained. It turns out that there is a hole in the liner somewhere presumably toward the bottom.
Our landlady has been awful to work with since the beginning. We pay our rent on time every month, and we have done repairs out of pocket that leave the home in better condition than when we moved in. We have only asked her to fix one issue during the almost three years we have lived here.
We had a plumbing issue in which water was backing up into the house. We have no children, but she kept insisting that a child must have flushed something down the toilet, and that we would be responsible for the repairs. When she was finally faced with the reality that nothing had been flushed she asked to see the contract because she was sure that all repairs were our reponsibility. They were not, and the pipes were fixed. I could tell you a couple hours more worth of stories about her that would blow your mind but I will stick to the current issue from now on.
I beleive the pool liner has a hole in it from normal wear and tear which means she should pay for it, but she is refusing. She again is claiming that a child must have ripped the liner. I am so frustrated with her, but I don't know if I have any recourse. I realize that a pool is not a necessity, but I do not want to pay costly pool repairs for a pool that is not mine. Also, she has threatened to take our security deposit if we do not fix it. It's starting to feel like I am renting a money pit. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | our landlord is seemingly of unsound mind, and is trying to make us pay for expensive repairs that are normal wear and tear. |
t3_zjbuv | loseit | Wonder what to do when friends make me want to go to an unhealthy weight? F/16/4'11.5 | Right now I hover around 99 lbs. It sounds really low, but at under 5 feet, I'm at a healthy weight. On the low end, but healthy. I recently got a new jacket, which is a little too big, and wore it to school. My 6'3 friend who is extremely thin (think 135-140) asked for it, and put it on. It fit! It was tight, and he was stretching it out, and of course the arms were several inches too short. Nevertheless I was shocked and ashamed. I felt so unhappy all day. I have worked hard to lose 30 lbs, and I was finally feeling good about myself. This destroyed my confidence. It doesn't help that all my guy friends are tall and skinny. One, and I know that this is terribly unhealthy, is 5'11 and 116 pounds. I'm just tired of feeling fat around them. How do I feel confident? It is just terribly frustrating to lose all that weight and still be the fat one. I don't have many girl friends, but I feel like they are all skinnier than me. I thought that weight loss would make me feel better, but I felt more confident when I didn't care how I looked. Sorry for the rant. I just need to get it out there. | all my friends are skinny, I'm at the low end of normal but still feel fat. What to do? |
t3_3elbke | relationships | Me [22M] with my GF [21F] 1 year, broke up, She was always THAT girl to me, now I can't handle this. | So I was dating the girl of my dreams for a year. We have known each other for about 6 years but we were dating other people and the time and we never could be with each other. We always wanted to be friends and talk to each other but we never could because our gfs, and bfs at the time didn't want us to. I thought about her everyday of my life because I knew she was the one for me. I still do.
So we end up dating and everything is as amazing as it should be. Im not the typically 22 year old. I am ready to settle down right now. I really am. You may think that's weird but I don't care. That's how I am. Anyway, a few months later we start to fight and have problems. We moved in together pretty fast (around a month or so of dating). But everything was fine. The biggest issue was my self esteem and confidence. I always had to ask if she cared about me, and if she loved me. Stuff like that. I would get mad and angry over dumb fucking things. Just so she could say sorry and I could feel like she cared about me. So a lot of issues on my part that came from previous relationships.
So we broke up finally yesterday. And I am beyond defeated. This is the only girl that I have ever wanted to be with. EVER. She says that she still cares about me a lot and that she wants to still be in my life just not romantically. Every time I think about her possibly being with someone else in the future, it makes my stomach curl.
We used to love each other so much. There was so much love it was amazing. I ruined everything with my problems. How do I deal with this? Do you think there is any chance of us getting back together in the future? Can people get feelings for someone again? | Gf of one year dumps me, she's THAT girl for me and I can't deal with the grief. Is there anything I can do? |
t3_1dactz | BreakUps | 2 months and I [23m] still struggle thinking about her [22f] | The whole story has been posted on here before for anyone that's interested. She broke up with me out of the blue after 2 years together and there was yes reason I could pinpoint.
I started seeing another girl a few weeks after we broke up, mostly just as a rebound and someone I could spend time with to take my mind off things. She's fun, smart, and great to be around - plus she knew my history with my ex and was ok with it.
Anyhow, things have been going well with this new girl, so I thought I was doing better. Long story short, I ran into my ex last night when she was with some mutual friends and we talked for a few minutes. Nothing serious, it was friendly, and that was that. I spent the next hour sitting alone in some gardens crying hysterically. Seeing her brought back all those emotions and feelings that I thought I had overcome. She still thinks I'm moved on with this other girl and I'm over her, but the reality couldn't be further from the truth.
Any advice/suggestions? | broke up 2 months ago, thought i was over her, saw my ex last night, definitely not. |
t3_16fj5m | AskReddit | How to confront my store manager? Also, How can I try for a raise? | My manager is the leading cause of drama in our workplace. This person also has openly an unprofessionally said things about coworkers and myself to other staff. These things rarely touch upon work ethic or anything regarding the person's value as an employee. They usually just involve negative comments regarding the person, true or not, and most of these people don't do anything wrong and they are good workers. It just irritates me that this person plays favorites, especially regarding wages and positions.
On the wages part, I am much lower payed then almost every other employee (figured that out on my own), yet I am trained for everything in our location aside from one area. A manager that respects me calls me the "Charlie" of our location. Just watch it's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and you'll get that.
*using non-descriptive terms to try to remain somewhat anonymous, The job is retail. Also, throwaway account. | Manager is hurting our workforce, need to confront her, possibly try to advance/get a raise for working above my pay grade. |
t3_xgxe2 | AskReddit | Inspired by the "stupid criminal", whats your greatest "oh sweet justice" moment? | I shall begin:
Around 2 years ago, my custom built bike got stolen on campus. (not an expensive bike, but not a $60 dollar walmart bike either) I had it registered, but it's basically a tiny sticker on your bike that can be easily ripped off. I browsed craigslist for multiple days searching for my beloved but to no avail. Instead, I began searching for the custom parts to my bike and what do you know, 1 listing popped up having all my parts in 1 post. Same exact part model, same exact color. Emailed to meet at his house. Called cops for sting op and they agreed after I showed them all the receipts to my purchased parts. Went to house, examined bike parts, each part's serial numbers matched the receipt. Busted the guy, raided his house for the remainder of my parts, and found about 5-7 other random bikes in his garage. Guy got taken away, bikes taken by cops, sweet justice for a college student. | bike got stolen, cops busted guy, guy taken awayyy |
t3_4085qm | needadvice | I've got to get my attitude in check, or be homeless. | I've got one real good friend, and he's the best. When my living situation fell through a few weeks ago, he was quick to come drive an entire city away and pick me up so that I can stay with him. I'm looking for a job in this new city and have been providing money for groceries and other things(420 friendly household). I am continuously cleaning for him and doing his laundry, even before mine, and most times we can't afford to do mine at all.
We're very close, and we bicker sometimes. Nothing that seems too dire, but he almost always rages out and no matter how asinine and insignificant the argument, he remains innocent and I have to apologize. It's his apartment, I respect his wishes 100%.
My problem is that I can't have an opinion, or disagree with him at all. It's 98% of why we argue.
I'm in need of some tips and tricks to avoid even making a face that could be taken the wrong way and starting something outrageous. He's threatening to kick me out. I'm freaking out and this probably wont even make any sense. | How do I keep my attitude in check? I've always had a bad problem with this. |
t3_21ul0q | relationships | How do I [24M] bond with my sister-in-law [25F] who is going to be living with me for a few months. | My brother (28M) and my sister-in-law just got married this past September but my brother will have to be working abroad in some pretty bad parts of Africa for a few months between the end of the year and he beginning of 2015.
Because it's a pretty bad place my brother doesn't want her living there and she agrees however her parents and mine both live in Australia but I'm currently in Edinburgh (UK). It was my mother's idea that I invite my SIL to live with me while he's away so we can get to know each other more and because it's closer to my brothers work he can get a flight to the UK and back every couple of weeks easily.
I'm a **very** introverted kind of guy. I spent 5 years of University with virtually no contact with my classmates and for the four years my brother and her were dating I think I'd only met her a handful of times and never actually had a proper conversation with her. She's really nice and I think my brother has told her I'm a little strange because she sometime texts me out of the blue asking "what's up" and stuff like that. (I know it may seem normal but people who know me know that I hate texting and i's very difficult to get a conversation out of me)
Obviously since she is family now I want to try and get to know her better but I still feel very uneasy spending that much time with someone. She's on board with the idea and has already found a Job in Edinburgh and although I have a job too we're still going to be spending every evening and weekend alone the only thing we have in common is that we know my brother! | My sister-in-law is going to be living with me for a few months. I am very introverted and crap and conversing & maintaining relationships and don't know what to do. |
t3_3zig6z | relationships | Me [25 M] with my wife [25 F] of almost 6 years, I think I've fallen for someone else. | Me (25M) and my wife (25F) have been married for almost 6 years. We got married you'd because I joined the military and at the time it was the only way we could be together. Our marriage had its good moments, but it was mostly mediocre. I feel like the only reason we stayed together so long was because we were stationed so far away from friends and family and only had eachother.
Recently I met a girl (21F) at work. My heart stopped when I first saw her. Forgive me for being crude, but she is a perfect 10/10. I could easily resist temptation if she was just good looking, but she's also outging, and energetic, and we share many common interests. Unlike me and my wife.
I care for my wife, and I would never cheat on her. I care for her more like a good friend though. I dont know what to do! Leave my wife for this new girl that I barely know? Or grudgingly continue this marriage and risk getting divorced later on, wasting both of our time and missing this opportunity.
P.S. I don't know if this girl even likes me romantically. I feel like she does, but she could just be very friendly. I know she's single and my co-worker swears she was flirting with me.
P.S.S. I almost forgot! I don't think she knows I'm married. I wear gloves at my work, covering my ring, and I didn't exactly tell her about my wife. | I met a hot 21 y/o who would probably be so much better for me. I'm not sure if she romantically likes me, and I don't think she knows I'm married. I would NEVER cheat though, so what should I do? |
t3_1zr5y2 | relationships | [21F] Short Term Fling with [22M] Before Graduation? | Have been seeing this guy for almost two months now. Everything is fine - I don't think either of us is really really into the other person, but it's nice to have someone to hang out with... and have sex with.
The two of us decided recently to date each other exclusively - but we're not in a relationship.
I am not really sure what I want, because I am graduating college in a few months and will be moving across the country for my job. I think I'd be interested in having a fling. There's some level of commitment (exclusivity), but there's an expiration date in a few months.
My question is: should I try to make this work? Since I'll only be around for a little while longer, should I just enjoy this for what it is? I'm worried I'll get attached and go through a painful separation later on. Or - that I might end up developing real feelings while he still is lukewarm towards me. Maybe I'm just feeling lonely and that's why I'm trying to make this work, even though it doesn't seem quite right. | Dating this guy that I'm kind of lukewarm about (and vice versa), don't know if it's worth it to keep seeing him since I'm moving in a few months. |
t3_1vkd3w | relationships | My SO [19 M/] 8 months(LDR), is blowing off my [21/F] birthday :( | My SO and I love each other very much and are very serious about each other. He had his birthday a couple of months ago and I was very excited for it. He says that because his family doesn't make a big deal about birthdays, he doesn't really care about them, but he has admitted that he would love it if people made a bigger deal out of it. And so I did.
I kept reminding him that his birthday is coming up, regularly, for 2 months. I started subtly asking him what he wanted, put together a gift basket of stuff he likes and sent it across the ocean for him.
He was super happy, he loved it and he told me that I made his birthday very special.
Mine is 2 weeks from now and he hasn't talked about it at all, seems like he hardly remembers. He told me he would not send me anything cause he can't afford it.
I feel really bad because I love birthdays and they are a big deal to me. He has been telling me about other stuff he has been buying, which makes me feel worse because it seems like he can afford it.
On one hand I feel upset because I put a lot of effort into his gift and on the other hand I feel guilty about being so petty and selfish.
He loves me and that should be enough. I tell myself to get over it, but I feel bad to the point that I am NOT looking forward to my birthday anymore. | Sent SO a gift basket, was overly excited for his birthday. He never talks about mine and has made it clear that he wont be sending me anything. |
t3_4kh3hx | askwomenadvice | [22M] Childhood crush leaving soon... | Needed some solid advice on this..
I fell in love with a girl I've known as family friends since childhood, probably age 10 or 11 around the start of it (we're the same age). Since that time we only spoke briefly each week at church but mostly just waved at each other (where we were also introduced to each other's families back then), or when she would meet up with my older sis a lot (who's still close with her). We also attended many parties together but nothing beyond friendliness in all cases. Me and her never really had feelings for each other initially BUT I was only slightly told she had a big thing for me back when we were young but never came to fruition and I never heeded any signs either, although I asked some of our mutual friend circles and all of her female friends told me she doesn't have a thing for guys right now because she's too focused on academics.
Fast forward to this year, she got accepted to a top level grad school and her family is actually moving out of state for business as well so she will be departing the scene soon. I feel that I am losing touch with her as we start to go our own ways after this.
My question is, should I confess the truth to her after all these years of our friendship? Should I tell her how I feel about her before she leaves or should I drop it all entirely and abandon ship anyway? My brain tells me to consider the risk of her friendship going the wrong way but my heart tells me to tell her how much she has meant to me all these long years of patience. My sister informed me that being an attractive guy who works on himself years from now will prove to my crush that I will be the man for her in her future, although not sure how long that will take. | childhood crush is moving away for long time, need help on whether to confess my feelings for her after many years of friendship or leave it as be in hopes of her reaching out to me down the road. |
t3_36525c | tifu | TIFU by trying to getting freaky NSFW | I've been debating posting this TIFU for the longest time now but yolo. It actually happened 3 years ago when my parents and I were still living at my grandmas house.
My grandma had her bedroom and my parents had theirs. I however, slept in my grandmas closet. It was quite big so I fit a small bed in there. This was during the summer where I'd wake up at 2pm and go to sleep at 5am playing video games and doing what every on teenage boy does...
However, I got curious one night and decided to make a homemade fleshlight. I google "homemade fleshlight" and after looking through carved watermelons, to warm banana peels, I saw a DIY sock and condom fleshlight. I made this lil sucker and it was quite awesome. Now for the fuck up. I used this heavenly contraption and when I was done, I threw it in a random drawer, deep down where no one could find it.
Only a few days after, I had a flight to Colombia to see my family. I was gone for maybe a week.
I got home & everything was perfectly ok, until my grandma seemed like she wanted to talk to me about something. In my head I was like "Sure grandma, what's up?" She proceeded on to say that she was cleaning her room when she came upon some funky smell. At this point I was dying inside. "One of the drawers had a foul smell and I looked inside to see what was in it". I was dying of embarrassment. She then went on and said "Look it's okay." Then I was like, phew! Homemade fleshlights aren't so bad!
"Listen, I know you're at that age to have sex.." "When did you bring a girl over?" "Was it here or in Colombia?" "I won't tell your parents" And she kept going on how I'm not suppose to keep a used condom after I have sex..
There was no way for me to tell my grandma I had made a fleshlight and that I actually didn't smash a girl in her closet.
It was quite embarrassing if you ask em. | I made a homemade fleshlight, used it, threw it in a drawer, grandma finds it and tells me it's ok to have sex and that condoms are supposed to be thrown out when they are used. |
t3_394z60 | relationships | Me [19/M] with my gf[20/F] have been dating 3 years. I've realized a laundry list of issues I have with our relationship, most of all I am no longer in love with her. Yet I can't find a way/muster up the courage to end our relationship. please help | Have lived together for the past year.
Just no longer sexually attracted to her
. As I lived with her I began to REALLY get to know her family and have issues with all members (especially her mother, and gf already does certain things like her mom).
I feel as if she is my best friend that I like hanging out with, not my significant other.
I care about her a lot and wish there was a way to do it without heartbreak, however everytime I try to tell her "I dont think this is working anymore" she breaks down and cries her eyes out, almost full panic attack and says that if we just try a little longer it'll get better.
I have been trying/waiting for things to get better for the past 2 months.
We had a really rough year(money, school, roommates, living situation) and Im sure that has contributed, but its her main reasoning to have us continue now that we are out of our old situation.
I have felt my feelings for her and want for the relationship deteriorating for the past 3 or so months and believe its time. | care about gf a lot but am no longer in love with her and feel the need to end the relationship. Please help |
t3_1gw7rd | pettyrevenge | Some punk golfers took it upon themselves to try and hit balls over the net and into my driveway. | So my boyfriend/golf partner and I live next to a golf course. Our driveway and backyard are next to the 17th green and 18th tee box. There is a huuuge net up behind the 17th green but we still get a bunch of balls in the backyard which our landlord hates but we love because free balls. Rarely does anything end up in our driveway since thats in line with the 18th tee box, usually balls end up in the backyard from people overhitting 17. So we are outside last night around dusk, I'm grilling burgers and he is messing around with some new power tools when a balls comes over the net into the driveway. I dont think anything of it. Another one comes over so I go over to a clearing in the bushes to see whats up. I figured it was one of our friends messing with us. I see these two young guys take another swing and I can see now they're doing it on purpose hitting from just off the 17th green. I yell "Dude!" or something and they stop and go over to the 18th tee box (without putting on 17). Now, since we are golfers ourselves and regulars at this course my boyfriend is consious of not running power tools while guys are teeing off but this time he decided he might do just the opposite. Right in one of their backswings he runs his new drill thing which is loud enough to cause trouble. The guy obviously shanks it or tops it and goes to hit again only to be met with another round of noise in his backswing. I can't recall if we did it a third time (I think it was just twice) but the kid gets so mad he swears, slams his driver into the ground and breaks it! My boyfriend claims the kid said "you're lucky there is a fence here".
I feel a little bad his club broke but that was his own temper. Don't be an ass hole, balls in your yard is part of the deal living next to a course but you don't need to consider that net a challenge. | kids hitting into our driveway on purpose so we ran power tools in his backswing. |
t3_1mtcjb | travel | Traveling as a vegetarian? | I was raised pesco-vegetarian (ate fish but no other meat), and switched to full veggie in high school. I miss fish and I ate it for my honeymoon in coastal Australia, but I have absolutely no desire to eat chicken or beef or especially pork. It just isn't classified as food in my mind. But I have this great desire to travel, and so does my husband. We're currently thinking about going to Argentina next year for honeymoon #2. Am I crazy to try to be both a world traveler and a strict vegetarian? I don't want to offend people or prevent my husband from eating local cuisine. I have a bad feeling I can't have it both ways. Any advice? | strict vegetarian, aspiring world traveler. Incompatible? |
t3_3suh4t | relationships | My (35M) fiancé (25F) left me last night | Been together 2.5 yrs, engaged for 1.5 yrs, wedding slated for March 19.
She struggles with depression and is an emotional person. Things have been going up and down overt the past month but more good than bad. I found out she was lying to me about money. We talked about it and things seemed to be ok. She apologized and we agreed to talk about it when we talk to our counselor on Monday. We both believe in mental health counseling so we have been going even when things are good.
We talked after work yesterday and things seemed to be going ok. I went out to play basketball and came home to find her gone with a letter saying she couldn't give me what I want and that we should breakup. Less than 24 hours earlier we burned a cd full of love songs to potentially be our wedding song.
I'm struggling right now. | Fiancé left me by leaving a note while I was out playing basketball. |
t3_2ep9nl | relationships | I'm [22f] an average sized girl dating an obese man [29m]. He smells after sex, and always wants to go again. How do I tell him? | Hi everyone. I'll just get straight to the point. I've never dated a person this size before and sex isn't ever an issue. Except for the fact that we both sweat a lot during sex but he legitimately smells bad. I don't know what it is, but we were lying on the couch tonight and I could smell his crotch from across the couch :(
He asked if we could go again. I knew that he would go down on me again and expect a blowjob and the thought turned me off so much.
I also don't want to suggest we take a shower together cause his shower is gross. WHAT DO I DO? | I am dating a fat man and his crotch smells after sex. While I would be up to having multiple sex sessions in an evening, I can't bring myself to put my face near his dick. His shower is gross so showering together is not an option. |
t3_36txnt | legaladvice | my friend is going to court about child support.. shes worried. | this is in MN.. her ex has a violent past and has been denied by her the right to see their daughter. he isnt on the birth certificate but for her to get continued aid with her childcare she needs to go after child support.. its $150 or so dollars a month because he makes so little. she doesnt want him to see her because he has been violent with the child in the room. this is documented on police records..
the problem is she makes too much to get a free lawyer but not enough to afford a lawyer. she is going to represent herself and shes scared of what could happen.
so the question is.. what can she do to assure this will go the smoothest possible way? she has already gathered his police reports and many of them are violent. she is bummed out that this is happening over less than $2,000 a year and shed rather struggle without the extra cash than open herself up to this whole ordeal but then she will lose her child care aid. she does not want the father in her childs life and has documented him saying he will "sign his parental rights away" not sure if that even means anything.. | girl with a violent baby daddy is being forced to go to court for child support but wants to continue no contact between him and the child. |
t3_3g58m5 | relationships | I'm (18/M) trying to break it off with my 2 years SO(19/) but I don't know how. | I've been in a relationship with my SO since senior high school, we're both in 2nd year of college now but I'm studying abroad while she's staying behind. We've endured the first year of our LDR but as days go by, I'm starting to feel less and less about her, and I also have the feeling that she feels the same way about me now.
Right now I'm back to my home country for 3 weeks already, and it takes us the 2nd week to actually meet up because either she said she can't go out or she got something else to do, and we've only met once during these past 3 out of 5 weeks. Now you may think that she cheated on me, but I know for a fact that she won't since she is a really quiet introverted girl.
So right now I want to breakup with her, but I don't really know how because I keep thinking that she'll get lonely and shit, she told me her bestfriend near her house is moving as well. Damn I need advice, r/relationships | I'm in a withering relationship, but don't know how to break it off. |
t3_33vogm | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [22M] 3yrs together, need an outside perspective please. | Been together 3 years now, through my uni course, now got a full time job, living together on a separate part of his parents property. I want to move and he doesn't. I've been noticing the small aspects of control creep in, that he so openly stated from the start that he's not like, eg, telling me what to wear, friends, my interests and purchases.
I love him, but I feel that we've gotten into a boring routine. Sorry to stereotype, but he spends a huge amount of time on his PC/phone/internet, with headphones even if not using them -comes off as antisocial. I do everything else around him, cook, clean, shop, drive for anything he wants or when he doesn't want to.
He brags that he doesn't drink/smoke/hit me etc, but I feel that he doesn't support me when I really need him there (emotionally), and actually made me feel worse. It does not happen often but I've never felt so terrible in my life than in those moments.
Though recently he said we should break-up, that I need to learn what its like to live with someone and be in the real world, I need someone more mature. I was a mess, didn't expect to react like I did. Later he said that he loves me, and he needs to be the one to mature and be there to support me. But a week or two later, I was emotional and in pain and he made me feel like scum. Now I'm starting to listen to my friends more and all the things I know a relationship should be but never had the courage to enact or follow.
I know he loves me, he even gave me an engagement and wedding ring set for Christmas, though didn't propose, but I feel like his actions don't really match up. | He says he's realised what he needs to be/do for me, but most recently he hasn't and made me feel the worst I ever had in my life. I don't know what to think, should I stay? |
t3_1vwyab | relationship_advice | Am I overreacting? (f25) Really need an independent opinion. | Just want to ask an opinion of reddit because typically I tend to overreact and I am not sure if I am right now.
Me and my bf who is 23 have been together for 2 years have been fighting for a few weeks. I asked him for space for 2 days so I can cool off and be okay. We had a long talk yesterday over the phone and seems like we've resolved a few things.
Today he had his driver license test which he finally passed after A YEAR of trying. He even broke up with me recently cause he we depressed because he couldnt pass it. I should mention that during 1.5 years of him driving it was me 90% of the time teaching/driving with him. I even asked MY MOM so she would drive with him because she's an awesome driver.
Today he went with his brother and he finally passed his test. Everybody is ecstatic. I asked him what he's going to do. He said he will go home or maybe to the bar and celebrate. Asked me what I was doing. I said I will probably go to the gym (today is my day off). Okay. He said "I love you and thank you baby" and that's it. That was a few hours ago.
Now I have checked fb and apparently him and his brother are an hour away watching a movie/drinking. I am PISSED. Not because he's doing that, but because he didn't even think about inviting me. We have been fighting, and he was less that nice during those few weeks. He apologized yesterday, said he understood that he was not acting that nice, that he will work on it, etc.
Now, we are suppose to meet tonight anyway and he is suppose to come to my place. But right now I am so pissed because he's somewhere celebrating something that happened only thanks to me and my mom. And that he didn't even think about inviting me to his celebration.
So reddit am I overreacting? Am I selfish? Or do I have grounds to have a talk about that with him? | After 1.5 years of trying bf finally passed his driver license test which happened 90% thanks to me since I was the only one besides my mom teaching him and taking my time with him. He is out celebrating rn and he didn't even think about inviting me. Now I am pissed. Am I overreacting? |
t3_29qdlb | relationships | Me [21 /F] with my boyfriend [23 M] for 11 months, I have doubts about my sexuality | Alright, so me and my boyfriend have been dating for 11 months. This relationship is the first one that I deem as serious as the others were just casual.
I love my boyfriend an awful lot, he's the love of my life and my best friend but I somehow feel like I'm missing out on a part of me that I'm eager to explore.
I came to the realisation that I was also attracted to women a few months before I started dating my boyfriend but never have been further than kissing and a cheeky grope with one. I really want to go all the way with a woman as the idea excites me but I can't as I'm in a relationship that I'm happy to be in.
A 3-some is off the cards as my boyfriend doesn't think it is fair if we had one with another woman (i don't mind) as he'd hate it if we had one with another man and he got to do things to me. He also doesnt want it to jeopardise our relationship.
I really don't know what to do. HELP. | Haven't ever got to experience a same sex sexual encounter and feel like I'm missing out, but in a serious relationship with a man that I love to death. Help?! |
t3_n7qix | AskReddit | What can I do to make me feel more like an adult? | I'm a 21 year old college student taking 1 class in college right now. I have nothing to do for finals except turn in a english 102 paper. next quarter i'm going to go to school full time. I have been spending my days doing nothing but browsing reddit and playing call of duty. I have no motivation to workout because i just got my wisdom teeth pulled a week ago and my mouth still hurts and i have no motivation to get a job because i have a bad work history hoping from company to company for 3-6 months.
What can I start doing that will make me feel like more of an adult?
also, now that it's mid December there is no point in looking for a job because most of them are seasonal and end in January. I am also a really skinny guy and can't do anything as far as physical requirements go (lifting things 50+ pounds 24/7) | 21 year old only taking one class in college. no job. no motivation to workout. has too much free time during the day. has a car but can't afford extra gas money to drive to a volunteering place/gym. |
t3_13bjg8 | self | Mr. Nice guy | I have been described as the nicest guy on the planet.
I do everything in my power to help others because that is the way I was brought up.
Deep down, I believed that only good things happened to those that did good even though i am not religious in any meaning of the word.
Of late though I have become more and more aware that people are using me. Hell, people have been using me for quite some time now and I constantly let them.
I have friends that only contact me when they need something, such as money or something else. I am constantly broke because I buy food for "friends" or end up getting the tab because they got drunk downtown and "lost" their wallets.
I also like giving people things like a random game on steam or something.
might be a sick way of getting some affection I guess.
I haven't had a relationship for almost 4 years, we still remain friends though why i don't know really. she slept with my then best friend and then they started dating, lasted only a month but she was at least there for me when my grandma died.
A year ago i decided to be daring, took home a one night stand. She now calls me from time to time to ask for a place to stay or for money. Needless to say I haven't dared try that again.
I also try dating but i constantly get the same answer after every date... I am just too fucking nice.
All I want is someone that cares, someone that wants to be nice to me.
So Reddit, I plead to you... teach me how to become an asshole! | I am too nice and shit" |
t3_12ojuo | AskReddit | Reddit, I was one of the girls that was first on scene to a car accident, I'm having trouble dealing with it. What are some things you do to heal in times of emotional and mental distress? | This is the accident.
When we heard it we ran outside and saw his mangeled car and his body just laying on the ground. After checking to see if he was breathing, my friend and I made sure no one else was in the car. Luckily, no one was. Four of us sat with him, talking to him as we waited for the ambulance to arrive. He was lying face down, but I could tell his ribs were destroyed, and his face was totally fucked too, his attempts at breathing through the blood that was drowning him are echoing in my head. He tried to lift his face, but worried that his neck was hurt in ways I couldn't tell and that moving his head could possibly hurt him more, I patted his hair and told him everything was going to be okay, we stayed with him until the paramedics arrived.
We were waiting outside, worried because the ambulance hadn't left yet, and then when we saw the coroner on sight I just lost it.
I didn't know him, but I can't seem to get over it, I need some help. I'm working on contacting my campuses psychologist, but I know that just talking about it won't get his mangeled body and choking breaths out of my head.
Please, if you experienced a traumatic event, what helped you get through it. I'm terrified to sleep, having trouble keeping food down, and on the verge of tears at every moment. | I witnessed an awful car accident, stayed with the victim until the paramedics arrived, but he ended up dying. I'm having issues dealing with it. |
t3_337ih7 | relationships | Help with texting crush.. | Ok I thought I was making progress with this girl over texting after we spent a large most of Friday texting back and forth I paid her a few compliments on saturday and she was blusing all around. I didnt text her again till sunday evening and it was a bit different. Perhaps I was expecting more of her blushes that made me think it was going somewhere I dunno, but it was a bit more stale than friday and saturday. Hey Im a sucker I know, but I really like this girl and thought it was going some place. Even told her it would have been great if she had come with us to this this we did sunday morning, she didn't say much about it :(
even teasing her wasn't working as it was the previous two days, nor did complimenting her (though it wasn't as good as the one I did on saturday...). could it have been cause I stopped texting her saturday after her blushes? After all I simply wanted to end on a high note. Was even planning on calling her before she went to sleep to hear her voice but the conversation was so stale, lasted about two hours but never non stop, that we simply ended with a non-descripts "good nights :)". I also added "good luck with work tomorrow" cause it's what I was gonna say when I called her! but of course she only said "thanks :}"
give me the hard truths here please (at least based on what Im giving u), is it a lost cause?? Or should I just man up and arrange a meet/date??? After all she had seemed to be interested in me the previous two days and may be playing hard to get now? Also, shes 21 and Im 22. | seemed to have lost the magic with texting crush from saturday to sunday. shoud I just go for it and tell her I like her/ask her out, disregarding everything? |
t3_37xety | relationships | Me (23f) with my bf(25m) 7 months. Read old conversations with ex.. | Been with my boyfriend for 7 months. there's been a lot of ups and downs. One major concern was that I found he was not very affectionate. He told me that's just how he was. I've told him that's something I need in a relationship and he has improved but he never says nice things to me. Never says he likes me or anything like that. That's something I'm trying to get him to work on. I know he was burnt in the past from a previous relationship.
I did something stupid the other day and now can't stop thinking about it. I read old conversations with his ex. He was so overly affectionate to her. told her how much she meant to him, how much he loved her etc. ended messages with multiple hugs and kisses. I've never got this level of affection from him. And now I'm not sure what to do from here. This relationship ended years ago. Could he still feel too scared to open up because of the last relationship? What should I do? Obviously I can't say anything about it to him. I've always felt like I wasn't as good as her and this is a slap in the face. | Read old conversations between bf and ex. Feel inadequate now.. |
t3_2y2692 | tifu | TIFU by trying to be a wingman for a friend. | This fuck up happened yesterday, but happened on 2 separate days....
First I would like to give some background info on the 2 other people invovled in this story. My that I was trying help out friend lets call him John. And the person I tried to hook him up with lets call her Jane. They both obviously like each other, but they are only friends so far. Also they go to different schools due to zoning of the districts, and I go to the same school with Jane.
To the Day 1 (Tuesday) of the fuck up. This day was a usual day go to class and such. Jane's birthday is Thursday which I saw as a opportunity for John to jump on it. So when I got home on Tuesday I text my buddy John about Jane's upcoming birthday, and that maybe he should talk to her after, not really texting each other after a week. He thinks this is a great idea and proceeds to text her, and thanks me.
Day 2 (Wednesday)
So on Wednesday I have a class with Jane and I ask her if John texted her yesterday. She then looks at me suspiciously and says Yes he did why'd you ask? And I told her that I told him to yesterday to send her a text. She then tells me that I am the fault of all this trouble that has happened. I then ask her what she was talking about. She then shows me their texts and I found out that he finally asked her out and she said no because they go to different schools and dont have too much time to hand out with each other, but want to stay friends. | I tried to help my friend get a girlfriend, but ended up him getting friend zoned. |
t3_38qblw | tifu | TIFU by trying to make light of something sad | This, unlike all the ones I usually see here, happened today. An hour ago actually.
My mother sent me a text today that just said "CALL ME! 911!". So naturally, I freaked the fuck out and told my boss that I had to make a phone call. He excused me and I walked outside to call my mother.
She answered and was crying, of course my heart sank. Through all of the sobbing and snot noises, I could hear her say "They're dead! They're all dead!". I didn't even know who was dead, but I could feel the tears start to well up because, A.) Shes my Mom... She gets sad, I feel for her, and B.) I probably just lost someone that I truly cared for.
I asked her who was dead and finally, I hear the names.... Or lack there of, because she doesn't name her cats, she just calls them whatever baby talk pet name she can think of. 5 of her cats died today.
I felt a sigh of relief. I totally thought that my sisters had died or something.
So my mom vents and cries for a while, and fell the itch behind my skull. I HAVE to do it... She keeps sobbing and then it happens.
"I know mom, I know.... Its a CAT-astrophe."
She stopped crying and it got silent on the phone....
"Its a CAT-aclysmic event mother. I'm so sorry"
She is seething on the other side of the phone, but I felt satisfied with finally getting it out. It was like a poison that my body was rejecting and if I didn't say it, I would die....
She hung up on me.
Hasn't answered my text messages.
Her boyfriend told me that she doesn't want to talk to me right now...
... Fuck. I'm an asshole. | 5 of my moms cats died, and I told her it was a CAT-astrophe, and that it was a CAT-aclysmic event. Now she won't talk to me. |
t3_1097ss | relationships | Stressful relationships. | Hey peeps. Basically I need some advice. I'm 23 and my boyfriend (24) of 4 months is a chef .Recently his hours are becoming insane. He's working 15 hour days, 5 days a week. He's losing weight, becoming moody and always tired, which is completely understandable. I remain supportive and always try and relax him. We don't live together or anything so time together has becoming very limited, though he still always calls after work. He is down, mentally and physically.
Problem is, I'm a student who has just started a masters and have legal exams coming up in 2 weeks. I'm cracking up and just can't focus. He doesn't ask about my exams and I'm not even sure he knows what masters I'm doing. I'm here taking one of the most important educational moves in my life and I'm too busy worrying about the boyfriend, I know how very sad. I love him very much but he's so consumed with work that when he does call, he vents. The venting leaves me with the blues, thus, I cannot think of anything else. I can't snap out of it. Halp. | Stressed out boyfriend is stressing me out. |
t3_3tvfyl | relationships | I [23M] saw this girl when visiting my brother in another city and want to know if there's any move... | Not too complex. I graduated from college in 2014 and I live in NYC. My younger brother goes to school in Boston and I was up there visiting him for his 21st this weekend. While there, we went to an event at *another* school (not the one my brother is in).
At this event, I saw this girl across the room who was just strikingly beautiful. Just the kind of girl that you can't look away from and kind of makes the rest of the room go blurry. Because (a) this was my school, or even my brother's school, (b) I was mostly hanging out with my brother's friends, (c) she was talking to her friends, and (d) didn't want to be weird/creepy, I didn't go up to her at all. I did talk to 2 close friends who went to her school my year (2014) and they knew her, but not well.
Question is: is there any move here? Is it too creepy to try to find a find to contact this girl who probably didn't even see me that I just caught a glimpse of for 10 minutes on a Saturday morning? She has Facebook, obviously, but I'm afraid to do anything for fear of coming across as "Hi, you're pretty, I've stalked you".
Any recommendations? | Saw this beautiful girl (who didn't see me) while I was visiting another city, is there anything to be done? |
t3_32a6im | relationships | I [25 F] Don't Know How to Quit my Ex-Fiance[28 M] 3 Years. | We were together for three years, engaged for most of that time and we met when I was 18 and he was 21. Since then (we had an extremely bad break-up), our relationship has had it's ups and downs. We stopped talking for almost a year after I broke off the engagement but since then, we've been really honest with each other about what went wrong and have become good friends.
Moving on. Today at work, I suddenly started missing him. A LOT. (We talk on the phone a lot but haven't seen each other since the end of 2014). I'm coming to the realization that maybe he is my soulmate. I mean, we shared so many firsts together. We know each other so well. We "get" each other and we still love each other. Even though we've both been in relationships since we broke up, we've always had each other. I kept thinking when I broke up with him that he wasn't "it" for me but what if he's been the one all along and I was too damn stubborn to see it? I don't know what to do. We're both currently in relationships so it's not like I can bare my heart to him and potentially be a homewrecker because I was too freaking obtuse to see what was in my face. We're supposed to be going to dinner tonight to catch-up and I don't know how I'll be able to look at him. I'm so lost right now. | After being broken up for almost 4 years, I've come to the startling realization that I might still be in love with my ex-fiance. |
t3_d6025 | AskReddit | My mom got into an somewhat major accident today. What steps do we need to take to properly handle this? | My mom was turning left on a yellow arrow when a car driven by a 17 year old kid blew the oncoming traffic red light (according to a third party witness statement that one of the cops told me about) and hit her on the front passenger side. Cops & ambulances came, and thankfully both parties seem to be mostly ok. Car got towed and will need some reconstruction in the wheel/front passenger door area or a complete replacement. My mom was taken to the ER but is mostly ok, except for a little stiffness in her shoulders and back. She was discharged after a few hours. I got the police report but it doesn't say anything about the accident itself--just insurance and passenger details (3 in their car, 1 in my mom's), plus a description of the damage and a form to submit to the Illinois Dept. of Transportation.
What do we do now? My dad will contact the insurance company tomorrow, but we don't have any report indicating who was at fault, the course of events, etc. I thought the police report would have all that info. The car is in the tow yard right now, I think we will go tomorrow and collect the minor things my mom left in it. I'm hoping to get this settled and cleared as quickly as possible. | What do we do after an accident with minor injuries? The other driver apparently was at fault, but we have no police record that indicates that or what actually happened. |
t3_3cava6 | relationships | My dilemma. Me (male, 22) with my ex-girlfriend of 8 months (female, 24) | Hey all, I'm new here :) First post. I'd be really glad if people could be give me some advice with this one, it's literally eating away at me. To the point of me being sat at work and burning up, getting a racing heart. It's just uncomfortable in every way!
In November last year I met a girl who I instantly clicked with. We got close to eachother and were both interested from the outset. Went on a few dates and it progressed to me staying at her flat some nights every week. I've honestly never had such a connection with a girl, so much banter and great memories just staying up all night talking and cuddling. We also took it very slowly though, it never actually turned to be official at all.
After a few more months I started getting doubts, little niggly feelings and thoughts about whether I was truly attracted and liked her. This slowly developed more and more and I eventually told her which ended it. She was distraught. After a few more weeks, however, we got back with eachother but on a casual relationship kind of term. This happened on and off until about a few months ago where we had to draw a line under it due to her getting too attached and me not wanting more but just loving her company and what we had.
Now I miss her terribly since coming back from holiday, whether I miss her or the company I have no idea! But its killing me and she wont take me back cos shes seeing some one else now. Why do I feel like this? Am I just lonely or did I make a huge mistake..
I appreciate this one is complicated guy would just be good to hear people's opinions, kind of shares the burden :) | I miss her even though I was confused :/ |
t3_18coxs | AskReddit | Can someone suggest to me a song, poem,or jingle that takes exactly one minute to get through so I can mentally keep track of a minute? | I feel as if there are a number of every day situations in which keeping careful track of time would be beneficial.
In order to do this time keeping I want to learn a song that is exactly one minute long, and learn where in the song various important seconds are (00:05, 10, 15, 30, 45).
I realize I could just use the first minute of any song, but I bet someone here could recommend me a song that lends itself to time keeping. If it is exactly one minute I can mentally repeat it to keep track of additional minutes. | Help me become a human stopwatch. Get a minute long song/poem stuck in my head. |
t3_4gk83h | tifu | TIFU by trying to impress my crush. | Now this fuck up happened nearly 6 years ago but I just joined reddit and so I am posting it now.
So picture this, me and my crush getting off the school bus to walk to school (the bus stops nearly 100m away). From the bustop to the school there is a drain next to the road and a 1m high wall to prevent the water coming to the street. But on that day the whole road was filled with water as it had been raining for 2 days straight. And so all of us are walking towards school knee deep in water.
This is when my stupid brain thought that it would be a good idea to get up on the wall and walk without getting wet unlike the lowly peasants walking in water and that my crush would be mad impressed by it. Should have remembered that my balance was shit and just after taking 2 steps I fall into the drain and stay inside for a good 15 seconds(which honestly felt like hours). Then some angel pulls me out (which I later realised was my best friend).
Anyways ended up reaching school shaken up and wet, parents were called to take me home. Needless to say couldn't make eye contact with crush for nearly a month. | tried to impress my crush, ended up taking a bath in drain water. |
t3_y7ult | AskReddit | How can I handle and confirm that the call I received was actually a scam? | My wife came home and told me that her father received a call from SallieMae asking her to get in touch with them with a referral number. This wasn't outside the realm of possibility as we lived there for a year when returning to the state.
Having no idea why SallieMae would be calling, I first researched her account to make sure there was no correspondence indicated on her account and that everything was current. I also checked her account details and saw that her contact number was not listed as her parents' number, but her cell phone number.
The number is 1-866-249-9819. I could not find any evidence that this was a SallieMae number online. I called the number, and it immediately asks for a social security number through some automated system. I don't enter it, and I'm transferred to a representative. A person says that it is SallieMae, and asks for my account number instead, but I give neither and tell the individual that this doesn't sound right to me.
I call SallieMae. They have no evidence of that phone number in their directory and they check my wife's account and see no evidence of a need for anyone to get in touch with her.
I can just ignore this as another one of those phishing scams, but if I can confirm that it really is a scam, is there anything else I can do? | Father-in-law got a call from 1.866.249.9819 from a person claiming to be from SallieMae about my wife's account. Pretty sure it's a scam and I want to know if I have any options to deal with it. |
t3_2pwn1k | tifu | TIFU by lending my mom my lube.. | For the last 8 years or so I have used the same Dove body lotion as lube. After 8 years of using the same moisturiser/lube, I guess you could say it's particular scent has done a certain amount of sexual conditioning.
My parents are heading out to their Christmas dinner party and my mom has run out of moisturiser, so she knocks on my door to ask if I may have had any. Half not listening (or thinking) I gesture to my computer desk. Not long after my parents are leaving (mother having applied said lotion) and as I am seeing them out the door I catch a whiff, and suddenly it was like the mother of all Vietnam flash backs; 8 years of all those solitary, shameful moments..After the awkward send off, I'm ashamed to admit.. well you know.. | Pavlovian conditioning is a bitch. |
t3_x3ec7 | dating_advice | He said "I love you" after two weeks of dating, I'm a little freaked | I'm 21F, he's 24M. We met on OKCupid, and we've been out on two dates, we've been talking for the past month. I had to cancel on a date we had a week ago at the last minute because I was sick, and he texted me "I hope you feel better. Love you!"
It kind of freaked me out that we barely knew each other and he already said I love you, but I just ignored the text because I was sick and didn't feel like dealing with the situation. Since then he's texted me "love you!" two more times (not out of the blue, just at the end of our conversations). It still freaks me out, but I'm worried if I should be alarmed.
Half of my friends say that I should run for the hills and the other half say that this is normal guy behavior, that they always hop to I love you fast because they want to get in your pants.
So what do you guys think? Is this normal guy behavior? Is it strange for a guy I barely know to be saying he loves me? | A guy I've been dating for about two weeks said I love you to me. Is it okay to be freaked out about it or is it normal for guys to move that fast? |
t3_fade3 | self | I work at a small office. My supervisor is quitting and | I'm inheriting his job. That means more responsibility for me, but I won't be getting any kind of raise. The people I will be supervising are new hires that have been doing their job for less than 6 months. Since I've been working in that department for almost two years, the supervisor and I were picking up the slack until the noobs became self-reliant. I didn't ask for his job, the owner just decided that since I have more experience, I should take over the responsibility of getting our projects done.
This probably wouldn't be a problem if the increase in responsibility came with a fair increase in pay. Hell, I'm going from being a simple employee to full-on Project Manager, my salary should reflect that change. But since this is a pretty small business (less than 15 employees total) the Boss is always looking to cut costs and save money anyway he can. I know that if I ask for a raise he will just give me some sob story about how the office is barely staying out of the red (B.S. since the office is apparently making enough to pay for his 'Benz and his wife's Jaguar).
I want to quit. I have a bit saved up that could get me through a couple of months of job hunting. But there is no guarantee that I'll find a job as quickly as I'd like. Also, if I quit, the company would be in real trouble for a while since the people in my department are too inexperienced/incompetent to do the job right and would not be able to meet the deadlines without help from freelancers (we're translators BTW). That's not a big deal for me since our boss is kind of an ass (that's part of the reason why my supervisor's quitting). What do you guys think I should do? Quit? Demand a raise, not get it, and let the quality of my work slip? Or stay, take on the extra accountability with no extra reward, smile, and hope that things get better? | My supervisor's quitting, I´m inheriting his job but without a corresponding raise. It's a thankless position that I didn't ask for. Should I quit my job and risk a long period of unemployment? Or stay and hope things improve? |
t3_wjmt4 | AskReddit | I recently realized how much I relied on my mom after going extremely painful surgery, Reddit, have you ever had an epiphany about how much you may rely on your family? | Recently, I had to go to the emergency room a couple times to check if my nether region was okay and finally after the 2nd time the doctor said we'd have to do surgery. So I get hauled into surgery early one morning and to be honest I was terrified. I remember sitting on the hospital bed with my mom on a chair next to me as they put in my IV. I started to feel stoned as shit, like I just wanted to explode into a million frogs.
Then I woke up, in screaming agony yelling at the top of my lungs. I started crying extremely hard, because the pain was just unbearable. I remember screaming out cuss words and apologizing to my mom for using cuss words and I remember holding out my hands for someone to grab them. This young nurse came over and took my right hand and I started squeezing it hard and she just stared at me writhing in pain, Meanwhile a second nurse was putting in more drugs into my IV. I looked around for my mom after semi-blacking out and I found her to the left of my holding my hand. For some reason I asked her to rub my head, sort of like the top of my hair. When I was a child she used to slide her hands gently through my hair to calm me down and to make me stop crying. At that point after 5 minutes of more immense pain I finally calmed down and returned to la-la land.
A couple days later after I returned home, I went to the bathroom to take a leak and check my stitches. As I was sitting there I just sort of stopped and started thinking about what happened after the surgery, and I remembered the part about my mom rubbing my hair and it made me start to tear up. So I went out to my mom who was sitting at the dinner table on her laptop and brought up the subject and I explained how it was kind of funny that I had asked her to rub my head like that. And she kind stuttered saying it but she said "its like you were a kid again, and you needed me" and then we both started crying hard and I sat there for a minute hugging her. | Had surgery, asked mom to help me the way she did when I was a kid, brought up what happened days later, onions. |
t3_ywxqe | relationships | Should I keep my girlfriend (14F) who never has time to see me? | Hey r/relationships. I'm 14M and my girlfriend is 14 too. We've been dating for (not counting vacation) what seems to be about 3 months. She is the sister of my two best friends, they're all triplets. (They all date each others friends)
SO ANYWAYS
She is extremely athletic. She plays on 2+ soccer teams, and on 2+ softball teams. She always has soccer, softball, work, etc.
I NEVER see her. Neither do a lot of her friends, she's always busy.
We haven't even gone on a fucking date yet.
What do I do? Keep it? Break up with her?
Whats the nicest way to put it? | I have a GF who never has time for anything. |
t3_49239l | legaladvice | No holiday pay due to ringing in sick before holiday period started. Sainsburys-Northern Ireland | Hello, I'm an employee at Sainsburys and just before Christmas I booked a week off (I'm only working 4days a week- 16hrs)from the Sunday21st-Sunday27th of February. However before I managed to take time off I was ill and forced to ring in sick and thus miss one day of work before my holiday period would have took place.
Upon returning to work I was informed when completing my Return to Work form that I would not be getting paid for the holiday due to ringing in sick. I was told however that my holiday time would be put back into my given back to me. This would be fine except our holidays reset in a couple of days. So basically my holiday hours renaming will be going back to full in a couple days and I'm losing a quarter of my months wages.
Is this legal/allowed? I've read the employee handbook but nothing about it is mentioned in there. I really don't want to lose 1/4 of my months earnings. Thanks for any assistance. If you need me to clear anything up please ask. | Booked time off work, rang in sick before it started, upon completing my Return to Work form I was informed by my manager that I won't get any pay for my time off. |
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