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t3_1acv7p | Cooking | Best methods for cooking corned beef? | **Background:** My mother makes excellent corned beef, but she doesn't use recipes and whenever I've taken her vague advice things just don't work out. Which is pretty frustrating since I'm actually a pretty competent home-cook. Last year I followed some internet advice and cooked in the crock pot until the internal temp was at 'safe' levels and what the directions said would make it come out 'rare.' Well, needless to say, it didn't end well and I ended up with a completely overcooked brisket.
So this year I picked up a 2.5lb flat cut piece and the instructions on the package say to rub seasoning, cover with water, boil, reduce heat and simmer until fork tender. This sounds like a pretty safe plan to me. I'm thinking of using broth instead of water (I've also heard guiness makes for a nice flavor, but I can't stand the stuff so I'm skeptical if I would like it...) and for the potatoes and cabbage I plan to separately boil them in vegetable broth.
**My questions:** Does this sound like a safe plan? I don't want to undercook my corned beef so that it's not safe to eat, but I also want it to be that tender flaky way that my mom always gets it. Did I do something wrong last year? Does the small size of my roast mean that I should change my method? What do you think of my plan for this years cooking method? Any tips/pointers/etc? | Please critique my cooking plan and share your best methods for cooking corned beef. |
t3_2pjkn6 | tifu | TIFU misreading the signs from a woman I've been hanging out with... | So, let me just say from the outset that I have been single for a few years (3+) after a failed engagement during college. I haven't been dating for personal reasons, and, apparently, am very rusty.
I just moved to San Francisco from NY for work and met a very attractive woman within my first week here. We've been out a few times - dinner, movies.... and she even invited me to see the new Hunger Games with her young niece.
We got together for brunch this past Sunday, and everything went very well - better than I had hoped for really. Nothing physical though, just talking and laughing, having a good time and enjoying each other's company.
After we said our goodbyes and parted ways, she texted me a photo of her cat to show me how he sits near her in a protective position. I made a comment about hoping he doesn't tear me up and gives me his paw of approval, assuming that the logical progression of things would make that meeting happen at some point.
Then she replied with a conversation-killing text saying that only her closest friends knows where she lives for personal safety (she's only 100lbs, lives alone, also moved recently for work, and has only known me for about a month, so I get it).
The next day she messaged me as if nothing weird had happened, and I asked her what that whole thing was about, since it came out of nowhere and hit me like a ton of bricks. Let me be clear, I've never been a rapist (can't believe that thought just came out of my head for the world to read; that should have been a given). In fact, I've never even had anyone put me in a situation where I felt like they were calling me a probable-rapist or woman beater. My message to her discussing how I felt was probably worded terribly.... Now, radio silence. | a woman told me after our third outing that for personal safety she doesn't let guys know where she lives. I told her that I felt like she was calling me a rapist, which is apparently a very rapey thing to say. Now, radio silence. |
t3_1iy3zl | relationships | Girlfriend(16 F) seems to have changed feelings about me (18 M) | My girlfriend and I have been really close and i'd say we had a really intimate relaltionship until this point. We both said we loved each other and meant it until now.
Basically my girlfriend of 7 months has been in a different country for the past month. And during that time we've gotten into plenty of arguments where we've both said things we regret. And she said because of it, we can't change what was said and stuff and she thinks she doesn't feel as strongly as she used to and she was thinking about breaking up.
The thing is, she hasn't seen me for a month and she's been super busy so that may be a big factor in why she feels this way.
I'm going with her parents to pick up her from her plane on Friday. She said she'd wait a week or two to figure things out before something actually happens. But when we've talked recently she's been distant and seems uninterested. This literally just changed into this a couple days ago. | girlfriend and I got into a lot of arguments, she feels like her feelings have changed |
t3_4o84g3 | relationships | Me [25M] with my GF [25F] of 1 year, She has a close relationship with her ex [28M], the 3 of us were hanging out and I feel that she is closer to him then she is with me. | Hey everyone!
This is my first time posting here.
I have always had a suspicion that something is still going on between my current girlfriend and her ex. I know that they are friends and I don't get on her case when she hangs out with him.
I'm completely aware of my worth. I'm a good looking guy and according to her I satisfy her. I tend to not worry about her cheating on me.
She spent yesterday at the mall with him while I was at work.
Okay no problem.
So i go over there afterwards and she refused to kiss me. She hardly acknowldeged my existence and was smiling and laughing at everything that her ex was saying.
I told her that I was getting tired, (it was around 10pm and I had work this morning) and asked her to come back to my house for the night.
She said no, I'm going to stay at his (her ex's) house for the night.
In front of the two of them I got visibly upset and I told her to come outside to talk.
She didn't seem to understand why I would be upset about her choosing him over me.
I childishly said to her, "okay, that's fine, I'll just see if my ex wants to crash with me then.
What I'm really upset about is that all she would have had to do to make me feel better was to say okay i'm sorry I'll come with you.
Instead she did go with him and stayed over there.
I really hope that I'm overreacting but I would like an unbiased outside opinion. | I think my girlfriend still loves her ex and doesn't respect my feelings |
t3_2eguln | relationships | My (22F) career aspirations are in a field dominated by men, how do I make friends without being awkward? | I'm about to jump into college and the majority of my class is filled with dudes. It's a good 80% and all of my teachers are male as well. I have no real problem with this, but, I've been in similar situations before and I've always felt like an outsider. I'm going to be around a lot of these people for the next few years, and I want to have fun and make friends and connect with my peers and all that.
I've been with the same group of friends for the past decade so I'm really out of my element when making new friends, and I tend to be too friendly? I think? A lot of the time guys tend to get the wrong idea about me. I want to be friends, that's it. :/
What's a good way to approach guys without being *too* friendly? Are there any red flags I should avoid? Signs to watch out for? | I'm socially awkward, surrounded by men, and I want friends. |
t3_kn0ei | AskReddit | How can I become a better critical thinker? | **Note: I've also X-Posted this in [r/IWantToLearn](
I've always lacked confidence in my opinions, and as a result, I became lazy when it came to arguing my position-- or even forming one. I always gave vague answers to questions of a political, financial, or religious nature; at times, I avoided the topic or changed it to something entirely unrelated and fun. I fear it's made me superficial, and I wish to change that.
That doesn't extend to everything: when it comes to hot-topic issues, I'm always able to take a stance and debate well-- however, it feels more like I've chosen to mimic the better talking points I'd overheard from a seemingly more educated person I agreed with, even after the studying on the topic. **For example**: I can tell you why I believe same sex marriage should be legalized, but when pressed for a reason other than "Two consenting gay adults ready to make a commitment should have the same rights as two consenting heterosexual adults ready to make a commitment legally and socially.", my argument falls apart. *I resort to "human rights" like most conservatives resort to "God".*
I've taken a critical thinking class before and enjoyed it immensely, however, since then I feel whatever education I gained has atrophied. I vaguely remember the logical fallacies I learned, rarely catch them during conversations or debates, and become embarrassed when my group of friends discuss these points while I have nothing to contribute. I read a lot, spend a lot of my time watching documentaries-- however, I feel I mimic opinions I agree with more than build my own. | So I come to you, reddit-- as I'm sure there are those among you that take pride in their critical thinking skills. What books, exercises, films, classes, anecdotes, paths to take would you recommend to build these skills from scratch? |
t3_33dihj | tifu | TIFU by trying to save the bacon fat | I make a big breakfast for my family every morning, almost always with eggs and bacon as the main dish. We typically save any extra bacon fat by pouring it from the pan through a coffee filter (to filter out the bits and keep it clear) into a mason jar. Then it goes in the fridge for later use, perfect for sautéing veggies or whatever else.
TIFU by not waiting long enough for the hot fat to cool down. Everyone knows you should never pour a hot liquid into cold glass, or a cold liquid into a hot glass. I learned this firsthand many years ago as a server when I pulled a hot glass from the dishwasher rack and proceeded to fill it with ice and soda. It shattered right in my hand. That was no big deal... today was much worse.
I had just finished frying up some deliciously perfect bacon in my cast iron pan. I was being impatient and in a serious momentary lapse of judgement I pulled the bacon fat jar from the fridge, removed the center of the lid, secured the coffee filter in place with the rim of the lid and poured the scalding hot bacon fat directly into the cold jar. Why it did not instantly shatter, I don't know... I'm no physics expert, but a few seconds later when I picked up the jar to move it elsewhere it shattered in my hand.
In an instant, scalding hot liquid bacon fat exploded all over my right hand and forearm, not to mention the countertop, cabinets, and the kitchen floor. My 3-year-old was 12 feet away in the dining room and instantly learned every swear in the book.
Not wanting that much oil to penetrate and stain my granite countertops I briefly ignored my severe pain and dumped baking soda all over the oil on the counter and floor. I then ran my hand and arm under cold water for a few minutes to alleviate the pain. My forearm and hand are still very red and puffy, but no blistering so I should be okay.
The good news is that the bacon itself was spared and breakfast was delicious as usual. I am now allowing aloe to smooth my wounds as I type this. | Didn't let hot bacon fat cool before pouring it into a cold mason jar. The jar shattered and coated my arm and everything in the immediate vicinity with searing hot oil. My countertops may be ruined and my 3-year-old learned some interesting new words. |
t3_2cubst | relationship_advice | Should I [21/m] pursue this [21/m] as a LDR or just let it fade for a while? | So I met this guy. (I'm gay, if you couldn't tell from the title). Let's just name him Ed. I met Ed in June through Tinder (romantic, I know...), and we hit it off pretty well. I don't really know what I was expecting from Tinder, if nothing but the affirmation that there are good guys out there. Well we matched and started talking. We talked for a good bit over text, maybe a week. Then we started calling each other every now and then. It was real cute. He's about an hour drive away though, and we both obviously knew that heading in. Everything was going great. We were good on paper, and from the pictures I've seen and the Skyping we've done, he's extremely good looking. Definitely the most attractive guy I've talked to. He shows genuine interest in me too, which is great. Well after about a month, me and him were just chatting, and he brought up the fact that he wishes I was closer. I told him I know, and he said he doesn't think he has the personality type for a LDR. I told him I think I could do it (I've done it before: relationship lasted a year), but after that night he stopped texting for a couple weeks. I assumed it was over. Well, a couple weeks ago, he started chatting me up again. He just starts talking about how cute I look, what I'm doing tonight, planning skype dates, the works. It's odd. Normally I'd think he was just playing me, but he's a virgin, extremely shy, and doesn't seem like that type of guy who would. Plus, this is a distance thing...if he wanted to play someone, he wouldn't do it to someone more than an hour away. He works about 70 hours a week in the ER, yet still finds time to text me and call me, which I think is adorable. So here I am, falling for this guy who said he doesn't have the LDR personality, and it's not even like I'm chasing him; he's chasing me. It's strange. What should I do? | I meet guy, we talk for a month, he says he doesn't want an LDR, we stop talking. A week later, he initiates all conversations with me, calls me cute, sets up Skype dates, basically acts like he wants a relationship now. He's definitely not a player (which would make sense if he was, but I can assure you he's not) |
t3_35n3bx | relationships | Me [24 M] with my [22 F] 5.5yrs, found out she's been cheating and now she's gone. I feel empty. | I've had suspicions my gf has been cheating on me so I snooped. Yes I know this is bad but I had to. I'm glad/upset that I did.
She's been sexting some guy from college about how much she misses him and about all the times they hooked up (while we were together). This was extremely hard to see and read.
We recently bought a home together (first mistake) and she's packed her things and is with her parents at the moment. Her mom said I'm "overreacting" - Am I?
Now I'm here all alone in my empty home. I feel empty I feel weak and I feel let down. She was the one I planned to spend the rest of my life with and now I'm sitting here alone after not being alone for 5.5 years.
Reddit, please if anyone wants to just chat about something PM me or comment. I need someone to talk to. I don't want to drink. I want to fight this but it's very difficult.
I told her we'd talk in a few days. | she's been cheating on me. we own a home, now she's gone. |
t3_3hej2i | personalfinance | (AUS) 18-19/M Currently $24,500 in student debt with nothing to come out of it and need some help on how to fix | New to posting discussions. Sorry if I get anything wrong.
I recently enrolled in an online/on-site college as I was just graduated out of highschool and living out of home, the course was free until I earn over $53k annually and granted me a Diploma. I was able to do some of the course but then needed to move back home which is no biggy since this is an online college. About 5 months ago I submitted an assessment but it was NYC (Not yet competent). So I had to resubmit, I asked for more advice and had no reply. I emailed once per week for a month after that asking and changing the assignment for them to read it over and still had no reply. I then got emailed from the head of the college asking me to submit an assignment and I replied back to him with the problems, tried fixing my assignment one more time and did my second submission of it. No reply from the head and the submission denied again without advice. 2 months later I had sent 3 more emails asking for the missing advice without success. I get a text from a random number to find out it's my new tutor that I wasn't told about, they didn't give him my email and he had no idea where I was up to. I told him what's happened and how I can no longer come in so I'm working from home instead, he says "That's unfortunate, would you like to cancel?" I replied with I want to finish the course otherwise I'd be in debt without anything from it and asked him to read over my last submission and help me. Then suddenly he stops replying too. I've sent 2 texts aswell as an email to the college asking why this is happening. No reply from any of them, now it's been around 2 months and still no emails from the college. I might be off their system so I am going to cancel if I haven't been unenrolled already. I'm posting here to receive any advice on this debt to lessen the affect it'll later have | $24,500 in debt for when I earn over $53 000. Highest qualification I have is a certificate 3 in Information, Digital Media and Technology and 1 years experience in computer repair (trainee) and 2 months in factory work, very little luck with any sort of work. I know this debt will affect me later on in my life and just wondering if there's anything I can do to prevent or decrease the negative affect it will have. |
t3_ob9nf | AskReddit | Reddit, what are your most awkward experiences with the elderly? | I was on a bus going to a friends house. Bus is full, and I decide to sit at the back. The next two stops later, the bus is still full, and an elderly gentleman decides to get on the bus.
He pays his fare, looks at the bus, and walks all the way to the back of the bus where I'm sitting.
**And he asks ME for my seat on the bus.**
He skipped thirty or so people, even at the front of the bus whom were all capable of getting up, climbed the two steps elevating the rear of the bus and asked ME specifically to get up.
I did, but I have never been more insulted in my life.
What are your awkward experiences with the elderly, reddit? | rude old timer skips 20 seated people on a bus to ask me to move for him. fuck him and people like him |
t3_pnow7 | AskReddit | Reddit, we know the crazy punishments that your parents have tried to pull; what are some of the punishments that backfired? | I'll start. When I was about 3 or so, I guess I was being a bad boy during lunch. My mom put me in my room for time out, which had the doorknob reversed so it could lock from the outside. Well, it must have been locked already, and when she shut it to take me into the room..well, she couldn't get out. Meanwhile, my twin brother [DaBandersnatch] is still out in the kitchen in his high chair, derping around, unaware that Mommy is stuck.
She decides to try to get out. She takes some toy tools and starts to dissassemble the doorknob. This doesn't work. Now she's locked in with me and has no way to get out. All the while, she's yelling at [DaBandersnatch] to stay out of trouble and just wait, Mommy will be fine.
The window. She can get out of the window. We lived in a split level, so it wasn't that high of a jump, but to a 3 year old, the last thing you want to see is Mommy jumping out of a window. She punches the screen out and jumps, and thankfully lands fine. She's now yelling at me to not jump and stay put. For whatever reason, the front door is unlocked and she can get in to handle [DaBandersnatch] while I'm still stuck in my room. She calls my grandpa, who has to leave work down the road, to come help her get me out of the room. | Mother locks herself into a room with me, jumps out window. |
t3_xsvkg | relationships | Moving out of town to study, leaving a girl who's the best I've ever, and probably will ever meet | Hello there reddit.
I am 18/m and about to start college. Since that I want to become a master of engineering, which isn't available in my hometown's college, I decided to apply for a university two hours away. I have already had contact with the university and all that there's left is to find shelter and be at the opening ceremony one week from today. I'm not "in" until I show up at the ceremony mentioned.
I've been dating a girl, 17/m for a month now. I've written a couple of threads about her before and, frankly speaking, she's almost identical to the woman of my dreams. I have never had such a spark with a girl before, despite having been in a couple of relationships before. We complete each other, think very likely, have similar tastes and opinions... well, I could go on. Bottom line, she's awesome. We even already love each other.
The problem is my fear that getting enrolled in college would weaken my relationship with her. Since that she's still underage, she lives with her parents. They aren't strict but they wouldn't appreciate her going to an another city just to meet her boyfriend. Sleepovers aren't even a possibility for neither of us at this stage of the relationship, in the given circumstances.
I am really afraid, redditors. I don't want to end up losing her. All of the relationships I've been through have been really horrible and I really want to get to know this girl better and better. I don't want to lose her. I don't know what to do. | I'm moving out of my hometown for college studies to a city two hours away. I am afraid that this might destroy my fresh relationship with my girlfriend. What should I do? |
t3_3mq0f6 | relationships | Me [26 F] with my boyfriend [29 M] 11 months, he is careless with birth control, am I overreacting? | [Update](
My boyfriend and I have been dating for close to a year now. I have hormonal imbalance issues for which I'm on medication. Due to that, birth control pills have a strong reaction on my body and I end up having severe side effects (nausea, giddiness, abdominal pains). So, our preferred birth control has been condoms. However, despite us having a fairly regular sex life, he almost never keeps condoms on him. At first, I didn't say anything and used to have them on me at all times. But many times, he would go in bare unprotected and insist that a few strokes does nothing. I am very paranoid having had a pregnancy scare in the past and so ended up taking emergency contraceptives several times which also harms my health in more than average amounts thanks to my underlying issues. I tried a diaphragm and female condoms a few times but he says he finds them "uncomfortable". He never asks if I have taken the pill nor checks up on whether I'm doing OK after taking it. I think this reflects on him as a person majorly but I acknowledge I could be overreacting. He's good to me in many ways so I don't want to give up. I've tried talking to him so many times about this and he gets defensive and broody dismissing this entirely. | Is his carelessness in such an important matter enough to be a deal breaker? |
t3_omve7 | AskReddit | Getting rich through Amway: What do you think? | Me being an incredibly poor uni student with no job, I got into the Amway Business by my friend. He himself is a beginner cos he heard it from his teacher from class. Not too sure how the teacher is doing though but he and his partner are pretty into it.
Now, I thought it was alright to start with but I've had my doubts and have seen some pretty emotional videos and articles regarding how unrewarding it can actually be and the truth behind the Amway Business claimed by Beau Short.
Does anyone understand how the Amway Business is considered to be economically unsustainable and know of people who failed or are succeeding in this business? Thanks :) | Amway: Yay or nay? |
t3_53xhx9 | relationships | My [14F] friend/date [15M] constantly overpraises me | Ok, so throwaway for obvious reasons.
I've recently moved into a new part of town about a year ago, and I met Vin. Vin, for the most part, was a bit troubled, but has a good heart, is very sweet, and loyal to boot. He has a rough life with two divorced parents and a year out of school, so it's natural that he has a side for dark humor, which can hurt or help, depending on the situation. Recently, when we moved to highschool, he decided to ask me to homecoming (which I was hoping for, as we grew to have feelings for each other) and I agreed wholeheartedly.
However, recently things had begun to be.. wierd for me. Everytime we would text or call, he would always mention how glad he is to have me, and how sweet, kind, and cute I am. He's always sincere about it, and he's never tried using it as a way of blackmail or manipilation. But... he's been doing it a lot lately. More often than I would like. The first time, I thought it was the sweetest thing. Now... he just says it all the time, to fill in the awkward silence.
And everytime he praises me I feel obligated to respond in a similar fashion, and tbh, it gets annoying. I really like him, but it's tough to talk to a person that just wants to always talk about you. How should I deal with this? I feel that his words would have more meaning if he'd say that sort of thing less often. | My date/friend likes to put me on a pedestal a lot, and it makes me feel inadequate and annoyed because I'd prefer to talk about koalas vs sloths. |
t3_31jy55 | tifu | TIFU at a hotel bar in Utah. NSFW | So...this didn't happen today, this happened a few years ago, shortly after the release of the iPad. I had just gotten my new toy and was sent to work in Park City, Utah. The device was brand new and I brought it everywhere, especially dinner by myself. I had used it earlier watching some pornhub so I wouldn't go out with a loaded gun...
I'm eating at the bar by myself and the bar is filled with people sipping on less than 4% ABV beers. I was drinking a Wasatch Polygamy Porter, go figure, when this 40 something year old lady asked me if she could see the device because she's never seen one in person. Usually people looking at other peoples toys just admire the asthetics and the interface. I'm watching and she opens my photos and the photo booth app, good thing nothing much was in there yet...
Next she opens safari, and there is a video playing from earlier with this black dude balls deep in some white girl and it automatically resumed playing and you just hear thighs slapping ass. I yanked the iPad right out of her hands and walked out of the bar with everyone looking at me. My sudden jerk reaction probably made it worse. I just walked out. I called to the bar from the elevator phone and gave them my name and room number to bill me. I avoided everyone I could for the next 9 nights. | beat off before dinner in Utah, woman tried my iPad, opened up safari and interracial sex was displayed loud and vividly at the super conservative bar. |
t3_3ill80 | tifu | TIFU by Cleaning the Stove After Cooking | So, last night I made dinner. Usually whoever cooks doesn't clean, but I was feeling pretty good last night and decided to clean up the stove-top.
We've got a 5 burner gas cooker with these pretty awesome, heavy, rings. The stove-top is one of the pretty glass ones that shows every single bit of filth. Grabbed a damp dishrag to clean it off, wiped down the two on the sides, figured it had been long enough to pick up the middle burner ring.
Turns out that it retains heat for a bit more than 5 minutes. Burned my thumb and index finger badly enough that I couldn't play Destiny and was treated like a cute, yet developmentally challenged puppy by my wife for picking it up. Received instructions that while she appreciated the attempt, she wants my daughter to grow up with a father so I shouldn't attempt any mentally taxing procedures like that again. | Tried to clean hot stove burner, burned fingers, couldn't play Destiny, wife politely mocked me. |
t3_qjh6x | relationships | I think her sexual past might cause a break in the relationship, please help? | Well I'm 18, she's 17 to start off. She's the first girl i've fallenin love with and i'm the first guy she's fallen in love with (her words).
She has had a previous partner and I understand that. It just kind of pains me that I couldn't have her virginity like she had mine because it feels like I have a connection to her that she may not have with me.
Idk, Her ex does tend to cause a lot of problems and this is one of them. She sometimes brings up sexual innuendo with is okay because it's fun to flirt, but sometimes it relates to her and her ex having sex (she doesnt say it intentionally) but it hurts me inside because I love the girl.
You may think i'm stupid for it or that we're just a cliche lovey-dovey couple of kids but we are madly in love...idk, we just don't act like other couples do (in a good way) I don't expect you to believe me, because a while ago, I wouldn't have either.
I don't want to be criticized for having sex with her, because it's illegal, I understand that. But can anyone help calm my nerves? Is it normal for me to wish we had exchanged virginities? Or that I get sad when I hear about her ex? because I get mental images and they make me want to curl up and die. | Gf was not a virgin, I was, I lost mine. She didn't. Is it okay to feel sad? Her ex causes problems because of it, and I get mental images. Any Advice? |
t3_4lzf0d | relationships | My [22 M] best friend [25/F] didn't end our friendship, but asked for space in January. Should I contact her? | I could give you all the long version, but basically I have one solid Best Friend who essentially ghosted me in January. We had a very tiny argument that spiraled into two months of silence from her (aka something else was going on she didn't express.) After two months I reached out and got a little explanation of what was going on, but mostly she said to keep leaving her alone. Didn't say to delete her number or forget our friendship or anything like a "break up," but just to continue giving her space. It's been two more months, what should I do now? As a kicker - she still follows me on Twitter and Instagram, which I find to be a little strange since she's the one who initiated it. Not sure if that's worth interpreting. I can give more details if you'd like. Thanks y'all | In January my best friend ghosted me. Two months ago she told me to keep giving her space. What should I do now? |
t3_44sn10 | pettyrevenge | Scream in my ear? Get sickly sweet service. | So, this happened about 2 days ago. I'm a supervisor at a very popular Canadian chain, and we happen to have a drive through. It was around 10:30 at night, and myself and my coworker were pretty relaxed. We get the car "ding", that alerts us when there a car waiting to order.
Almost immediately after, we hear an ear piercing shriek from an upset child. Our headsets are very sensitive, and can pick up whispers some times, so you can imagine how fucking loud this raptor child was. I was peeved, but I thought "It's late, kid is probably having a rough time."
But then momzilla decided to order, screaming almost louder than her kid, at the order box about what she absolutely had to have (no pleases or thank you), yelling to her kids about what they wanted. And of course, they scream their order.
I told her, "We can hear the person in the passengers seat order just fine, so no need to worry about that.", in an attempted to convey to her that we can hear her herd just fine. No such luck, because then promptly screamed at the box her next order.
My ears were ringing at this point, so I just wanted them to move up. I got their order, but as they were coming to the window, I decided to have a bit of revenge.
The moment they got to the window, I put on my best fake smile and gave them the most obnoxious and superficial service I could, asking in my most Umbridge-like voice how their night is, how's the family, and if I can give them anything else. I refused to give up conversation, although I could tell the mother didn't want to maintain it.
It only lasted around 2 minutes, and when they got their food, they drove off in silence. When my co-worker asked why I was so nice to them, I responded,
"There's nothing more annoying than an over enthusiastic worker at 10:30pm." | Momzilla and pack of Rapters scream at a tired employee that can be as sweet as a pile of stepped on lollipops. |
t3_48jf1q | offmychest | I royally fucked up my teeth, and I have no one to blame except myself. | Throwaway because some people know my accout.
When I was young I wasn't a big fan of brushing and flossing, and this continued onwards to middle school and early high school. I didn't do much to help my teeth, I went to dentists so many times it became second nature, but still, I haven't learned from the consequences. The problem is that I'm still 20.
Almost every tooth I've got has some sort of filling, my front top 4 teeth are crowned, all my back/biting teeth has silver fillings and the fillings are falling apart, I started brushing and flossing when I was 18 but it was too late, I had many root canal procedures and some dentists say my enamel is completely gone.
I have no one to blame but myself, really.
My teeth don't look bad though, I can still smile, and they look fine from the outside, but I can't help but realize how weak they are when I try and eat something really crunchy.
Many people don't see it but I'm honestly feeling like shit whenever I think about it, I brush my teeth and floss hoping I won't increase the damage, not because I have something to protect.
I want to fix this
I've been reading recently on complete teeth replacements, dental implants. I'm honestly thinking about completely removing and replacing every single tooth with an implant, I've heard many good reviews about it and I'm honestly considering it, but the price is way too high. If there are any dentists here or anyone who's done it, I really want to hear your advice.
It just depresses me whenever I think about it. | Brush your teeth and floss em'. |
t3_12nd67 | relationship_advice | [25/M] Not sure if I love my [26/F] Girlfriend. | Hi people of Reddit.
I'm a long time lurker, first time poster and I needed to get this off my chest.
My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years. I'm happy when she is around but when she isn't next to me I begin to think if I'm missing out on life by staying with her. We give each other space as I only get to see her about once or twice a week. I live with 2 other guys and she lives with her parents but she spends almost every weekend with me at my place. Unfortunately she isn't working. She's studying and I work full time so i don't get much time to do things for myself these days and a lot of the time I pay for everything (I do this because I choose to but it still stresses).
She loves me unconditionally and constantly says that she is lucky to have me. But when I say I love you to her, it's as if I'm not sure of what I'm saying. However I know for a fact that I want her to feel safe and know that I care for her.
I feel like there is something wrong with me and it driving me insane. | Not sure if I love my girlfriend of 2 years even though she loves and cares for me unconditionally |
t3_2gar3i | pettyrevenge | Oh yeah? How do you like a nice smelling pillow? | This is something I did to my brother when we were sharing a room.
We had been pranking each other a lot these couple of days. One thing
led to another and my bedsheets and pillows were laying outside in the snow.
So I took my perfume (cologne whatever!!) and sprayed some on his pillow. Just enough so that it would be annoying and you turn the pillow around.
Then I completely soaked the other side. Splash level soaked.
So he goes to bed, complains about the strong smell and whatnot, turn the pillow and just groans.
My bed was next to his so I got visual confirmation of his suffering and I rejoiced. | Brother pranked me so I soaked his pillow in eau de toilette. |
t3_3ftyhz | relationships | I [22F] haven't talked to my mother in 3 years but want to re-open communication. | When I was 17 my biological mother and stepfather starting making a habit of kicking me out of their house periodically for various reasons, but none of them having to do with anything criminal or generally unruly. I would come back hoping to patch things up and it would just be another couple months until they did it again. I'm not sure who was the main decision maker in these cases but I have no desire to start back up with my stepfather.
That being said, I was eventually tired enough of them being my unstable and unpredictable financial support and decided to join the military. A decision neither of them were pleased with, but they seemed to accept it after I came back from out of state college to try to patch things up before heading to basic. However, despite the fact that I would be gone for a few months without being able to see them, they still kicked me out 2 weeks before I was to head off.
I have not talked to or seen either one of them since then and now it has been just about 3 years. My life is that much less stressful without them and I feel no gaps in my life where they should be. I am mostly having these thoughts now because I am getting married in a couple months, and shortly after I will be leaving the country to be stationed overseas. I feel that were I a mother, I would be very sad to not be at least afforded the opportunity to go to my only daughter's wedding. She has not made any effort to contact me and I have not impeded her doing so(I haven't blocked her on social media), so I know she is not going to do it before the wedding.
Despite the potential cost, I know that I want to give her a chance to come to my wedding. I am just unsure of how best to do this. To just send her an invitation would be very detrimental to my mental health if she just showed up without contacting me prior. I also am not really the type to send a heartfelt letter to someone who thinks they have done no wrong. | Haven't talked to mother in 3 years, getting married soon.I want to open up communication so I can give her the chance to be there, but don't know what I should say/do. |
t3_fpcer | dating_advice | So I have a crush but it seems unlikely... am I overthinking? | Some background info: I'm a slightly shy 18yo Asian male just starting college, met a girl, 18yo Caucasian at a bridging course-like event last week. I'm not great with girls and haven't had much experience at all. So I have a crush for this girl, the course was a week long and we'd sorta hung out a bit. By a bit I mean we sat next to each other in tutorials, sometimes lectures, had lunch, and walked around campus and stuff. It sounds like a friendship thing, but I'm extremely angsty so I keep overthinking. For example:
she sat next to me on the first day at a tutorial and the seating for that tutorial never changed, so we sat next to each other for a bit but it probably wasn't because she liked me as a person but more because everyone stuck to their seats after the first day. getting lunch together was probably a similar thing, since everyone from the tutorial got lunch together. At first I think of these things as positives as I'm getting to know her, but then again it becomes a negative thing as she probably thinks nothing of me and is just being polite.
We will be doing the same degree so I'd probably see her around, but what then? What if I don't see her around, or what if she finds other people to hang out with? I'm divided over whether to just be nice and try be friends, or to ask her out and I'm always sceptical of any possibilities since Caucasian girls never go for Asian guys. From our conversations I gathered that we're similar people, though I don't know if she picked up on it either. I'd like to talk more, and we're friends on facebook but she's never online. What do I do? | Shy inexperienced Asian guy met a non-Asian girl at college, have a crush on her but don't know what to do. |
t3_5217lt | relationship_advice | Not sure how to feel about rejection 16M | So there's this cute new Chinese girl in my grade I have a couple of classes with. I talked to her a few times in Chinese and she seemed nice enough, even though she hangs out with the other Chinese kids and I'm white. (Last year i got into some big arguments with some of them, so they might've told her about the annoying white guy who speaks Chinese).
Anyways, yesterday at the end of math I wrote a note in Chinese to her saying "You're cute, do you want to go out with me?" She didn't reply right away and it was the end of the day, so no response Today in science I tried the same thing. No response again. A little bit irritated, I asked her later if she could understand what I had written in Chinese. She gave me a blunt "yeah", so I responded "ok" and got the hell out of there.
On one hand, I feel like I should be grateful I avoided going out with someone who didn't even bother to tell me "no". On the other hand, I'm not sure if it was really her being a jerk or if she didn't know how to respond. Did I dodge a bullet? | Asked a girl out via written note in Chinese with no response. Tried again later. No response. I later asked if she understood my Chinese and she said yes. Was she just being inconsiderate by not saying no from the start? |
t3_1934ci | relationship_advice | [26/M], my GF [26/F] of 4 years doesn't want me to be away over the summer. | Ok, so I just got an E-mail the other day from a summer internship, in the field of which I'm studying (engineering major with 1 year to go, if it's of any importance) It looks really promising and in 2 weeks they let me know if I have the job or not. The job is within commuting distance of the town were we both attend uni.
Anyway told my girlfriend about it yesterday and she was less than amused, she wants me to come and live with her at her parents place again (she lives an 18 hour trainride away) I've already been there two summers in a row now, doing a job I hate. Her family is ok, but I'm having a hard time coping with them over longer periods of time. Also I know no one but her family at her hometown which sucks. But I should mention that it would be similar where I'm right now since most my student friends go home over the summer.
Anyway, right now she's pressing me to apply for the same job she has already secured (driving a forklift in a paper mill), well-payed, but long and stupid hours and monotonous. She's doesn't love her job either, but as I said the money is good (~7500$ for one summer). But if we don't get placed on the same shift we'll never see each other either way. She (and her family) knows a bunch of people there so I have a good chance of getting this job as well.
Anyway she thinks I'm rather selfish, and that I should consider what's best for us and not just me. And I'm kind of at a loss and don't know what to do really, so any input on the matter would be really helpful. How would you approach the issue (from both perspectives)? | Gf wants me with her for summer doing a shitty (alas well-paid) job rather than do an internship. |
t3_468kt4 | tifu | TIFU - By locking myself out | Ok, I don't know why I didn't think to post this here 3 days ago when it happened, instead I just posted it for my friends at /r/talesfromthefrontdesk but this is pretty TIFU worthy.
Backstory: I'm a night manager for a hotel, I'm the **only** staff member on property from 11pm to 7am, just me, and 150 rooms of guests. I keep an eye on the front desk while I do the accounting for the day, the weekly schedule for the office, various things that we just can't get done during the day. I live in Connecticut, it was -6 here the other night.
Here comes the FU: I decided I wanted to smoke a cigarette, but I didn't want to freeze my ass off, so we have [this area] ( off of the side of the building - note the 20 foot freakin wall that goes all the way around, and the orange gates. Those gates are locked from the **other** side. -- I smoke out there when it's cold because I can turn on our industrial dryers in laundry and stand under the vents to stay warm, now in the 3 years I've worked in this building we have NEVER locked the door from the building to the box (that's what we call it) so I naturally didn't take my keys with me when I went outside. Well. Some idiot *locked the door*. It's negative 6 degrees. I'm in a suit and a pea coat with skimpy scarf, and these dryers are about to shut off, and I'm trapped in the box. I clearly cannot scale that wall, and I can't climb the gate because of the design of it, thankfully I'm one of those addicts who doesn't leave his phone anywhere, but I had to call an employee from a neighboring hotel, tell him where I was and how to navigate his way through the entire back end of my hotel to let me in before I freeze to death. And I left my hotel unattended for 20 minutes at least. | I'm a dumbass who locked myself out of the hotel I work in, at 3am, in -6 degree weather. Not one of my brighter moments. |
t3_plb01 | AskReddit | Reddit, what's the most disgusting or weird thing you've ever found at work? | I'm just going along cleaning the bathrooms at work in a grocery store. I've come across some gross things doing it before but today was the weirdest. I get into the men's restroom and it smells like shit. Literally. So I figure someone just didn't flush or something but all appeared to be normal. Until I went to empty the trash. There was a pair of men's underwear and shorts covered in shit sitting in it. All I could do is tie the bag up and put it in like 3 other bags. But it got me thinking, I'm sure Reddit could come up with some weirder, more disgusting things then I. So let's hear it. | Grown man shit in his shorts at the grocery store and threw out the evidence for me to find. |
t3_4tm7ge | relationships | I (20F) have found out that my boyfriend(27m) has still been in contact with his ex. | Alrighty so i know, no snooping and stuff like that but I did. Do i regret it? No. He has lied to me in the past before about being in contact with her and has tried to cover it up. I found an email , from June 21st (there are more dating to like a week ago) and it is very flirtatious and it seems to me that they are still in contact and still seeing each other.
Now I took a photo and I'm contemplating sending it to him but I honestly dont know if thats the way to confront this. Overall I'm not quite sure how to go about this. | My boyfriend of over 2 years has been in contact with his. I found emails from the two of them and don't know how to confront the situation. |
t3_31vgfb | relationships | (27 m) to divorce (25 f ) or not, need to know yesterday | We've been to a counselor, he said we had a relationship that was toxic. Now to my question, wife of 1.5 years is out of town for easter, small argument happens via text. She tells me it's over. I have two days to come to terms, looks for a roommate. Come back and says she will grab some clothes and come back a few days later for the rest of her stuff. Passes out on couch, today she's acting Iike nothing happened. We try to talk about it but we end up crying or going off on a tangent and not talking about the issue. I'm tired of this emotional elevator I'm in. Should I just call it quits? I feel I should end it. To be honest I think about being with other women. I'm scared. I guess I got use to being comfortable and I don't want to make a mistake. | get in argument with wife via text while she was out of town for easter. She said it was over, got back and now she's acting as of it never happened and she doesn't want to end it now. |
t3_43xp17 | relationships | Me [23F] with the guy [25 M] finding out his sexual past and wanting to find a way to break it off ? | I am a 23F virgin, and I have been hangning out with this guy for the past month. He asked me how many people I have slept with and his eyes lit up. Then I asked him how many he has been with, and he said 10, with 9 of them being one night stands. Now, I am looking to have sex with someone special, and even though I REALLY like him, the fact he had 9 one night stands does not agree with my sexual side. I feel one night stands are gross, and sex is something that should be special with someone.
So ladies/men how does a lady break it off with someone due to their sexual past, without sounding like a b***h about his past? Do I bring it right up to him? Do I just say your sexual past bothers me and we can be friends, but no sex. How do I approach this situation? | Hanging with guy who has had 9 one night stands, dont agree with this at all, and wants to break things off because of this, but how...'' |
t3_2z4ur9 | relationships | Should I [F19] tell my boyfriend [M21] that his goals are unrealistic? | I go to community college with my boyfriend and I do fairly well in my classes. We take a math class (Calculus 2) together because we both enjoy math and we could help each other out.
I am doing okay in the class, it is a little tough, but he's not doing great at all and doesn't seem like he actually cares. What's worse is that he's a math major and he says that he would love to become a math professor some day.
While I am glad he has that goal, I don't think he realizes how much hard work that is going to take and not taking Calculus seriously isn't going to help him.
I had hoped that he we could help each other succeed in the course, but he bails on studying to play cards in the student center and never does his homework unless I help him or urge him to do it. He also skips class all the time.
We've been dating for 5 months, have been close friends for longer and so I think I can tell him to get his act together, but I'm not sure how to tell him that his goal is unrealistic for the way he's performing now. | My boyfriend is a math major, wants to be a math professor, yet doesn't take the Calculus class we take together seriously, is failing that class. How do I tell him to get his act together or that his goals are a bit unrealistic? |
t3_10fsfi | relationship_advice | [30/m] girl i'm seeing (25/f) says odd things when wasted... | so i'm seeing this beautiful woman. not sure if the relationship is defined but she has told me she doesn't want to even talk to other guys or hookup with others and if i felt the same. which i did bc she's the most gorgeous girl i've hooked up with. now sure if this defined our relationship as "dating" or "bf/gf" but i didn't press.
now the kicker. whenever we get completely shitfaced (we like to party), she will say things like "i dont want to be with you." and even in my drunken stupor, i'm still hurt by it so i don't press her, but then in 5 mins she's like "babe, what are you doing? come over here. why don't you wanna lay with me?" and then she'll just get into crazy wild sex mode. she's said this twice now, on separate occasions when we've gotten wasted. and both times, i'm just confused, because she'll blackout and say "get over here. why aren't you laying with me??" and then crazy sex commences.
when we're sober, she's super sweet, says nice things, misses me, buys me random snacks etc etc.
so what does this mean? i feel that sometimes when someone is drunk, the "truth" comes out and is this a case of that? but i've said some dumb shit while drunk, that wasn't honest, so i have no clue what to even do with this. | girl i'm with, super sweet, nice, cheesy, asked to be exclusive, but when completely wasted said she didn't wanna be w me, but then in 5-10 min goes back to her normal sweet self. |
t3_43n52a | tifu | TIFU by getting too aggressive in a boardgame | Just got home still feel like shit from what happened tonight. Anyways one of my good friends invited me to join him at a friends house to play games tonight I love games and am always up to play. Catch is its a group of his friends I've never met before. No problem, I think new friends to add to my circle.
Introductions are made every seems nice, we pull out 'Betrayal at the house on the hill' and start into the haunted house, there is some playful banter as a few people set off omens that hurt but over all it goes well. We get to the Betrayel and this is when things start going poorly. I've got the big buff character so I charge to save the victims,and this is where the problem starts, my team mate takes a turn to explore one more room hoping for an item...that's fine...then another..then victims start dying....I tell him he's not helping....he burns another turn...I get more frustrated....and another....I say he's being useless and defend my point that if we don't kill the baddies or keep them busy or they will get too strong for anyone to kill no matter what item he finds...another burnt turn....then it seems like he is going to come help he instead goes right past and wants to explore the basement. It's me and him left and its our last window of opportunity to slow down the baddies, nope he explores the basement...
This is where I lose it I called him an idiot...
He gets up from the table and walks away, and then the rest of the table tells me what an asshole I am.
I'm not going to lie and say I had any tact or that I was polite, I will say I was really frustrated and chose my words poorly. I made the worst possible impression on a new group of people and even though I apologized for my behavior I doubt I will ever be welcome to join them for games again.
In any case if any of the affected read this I'm very sorry for my piss poor behaviour tonight and would like to have a 2nd chance to show I'm really not the asshole you saw tonight I just got frustrated and let the worst parts of my personality show. | I forgot that it's just a game and made the worst first impression of my life |
t3_21drag | relationships | Me [22 M] and my friend [19F]; she told me she likes me, and I'm really unsure of what I want. I only know that I don't want to hurt her in the end. So lost. | So a girl that I had never really had much attraction to and that i considered a close friend recently went to a party with me. We drank and she made it quite obvious that she likes me.
We fooled around a bit (no sex), and later she just straight up told me that she liked me and asked how I felt. I honestly don't know.
I don't want to lead her on, but at the same time I don't want to lose her. I know it's not fair to her and I'm trying everything in my power not to give her the wrong idea and spread false hope, but damn I am so confused right now and it's tearing me apart. I was not expecting this at all, I always only considered her to be one of my many female friends.
I am not very physically attracted to her, like I am with girls that I am actively pursuing, but her personality is undeniable. I can be 100% completely myself around her and I love it, and she likes me just the way I am. I still get aroused when we fool around, but she's not constantly on my mind like some other girls would be and I don't have the urge to kiss her when I see her.
I am so conflicted right now. I had told her that I am not looking to commit to anything and I need to focus on my other priorities, but whenever I imagine my life without her I start to get really sad. She brightens my day and truly cares about me. I care about her too, but I just don't know if it's in a romantic way or not.
I just don't want to get into something serious and realize it's not what I wanted and hurt her even more.
I don't know what to do. Any advice? I'm attracted to her personality more than anyone I've ever met, but the physical attraction is lacking. Should I just try my luck and hope that my views change for the better? I can't help how I feel about her looks, and I also can't help how much I miss her when she's not around. | My friend confessed that she likes me. I always just considered her a friend, and I absolutely love her as a person, but I am not very physically attracted to her. When she's away I miss her, but when she's close I think about what my other options could be. The last thing I want to do is hurt her, do I just cut it off now or go for it? |
t3_20ei5p | personalfinance | Advice for additional retirement saving? | I'm in my lower twenties, and in a good place financially. 1 Associates Degree complete and working full-time in my chosen career while pursuing my Bachelors Degree (42 Credit Hours left!).
With my current job, I make a pretty solid take-home amount of around $1,100 per pay period (~$2,200) monthly. Pre-Tax I am contributing 6% of my paycheck to my Employer-Funded pension plan (they match 6% contributions), and have about $1,500 already in that account (4 months here so far, only a 5 year vestment period).
My employer also gives us access to a Nationwide 457 plan which they match contributions up to $33 (I currently place $100 each paycheck pre-tax). The 457 Account currently stands at about $2,500 thanks to some rollover funding from my previous employer's retirement plan.
Taking into account all of my bills and expenses, I have ~$700 leftover each month to do with as I please (barring any big trips, etc). **I was wondering if any of the PF crew here had recommendations for other plans/options I could get into to start preparing for retirement early?**
I enjoy my current position, turnover is low-to-nill, and while I am at the very very base salary for my position, they regularly perform reviews. In my position I am a Base 1 employee, which has the potential for an extra $19,000 in salary alone. While I don't know the crossover as of yet, that is only for my Base 1 position (there are some here who are Base 5's in my same job title).
I've done some research before into Roth IRA accounts, and plan on opening one once my salary has increased enough to at least bring me close to the max contribution amount ($5,500). Though, if anyone has reasons to go ahead and open one, I'm glad to hear ideas. Thanks! :D | Low-twenties; have extra money; additional ideas for retirement saving? |
t3_3hbbf7 | relationships | Did I[18 M] just get led on by this girl[18 F], or am I an idiot? | I dealt with a bit of a rough breakup over the course of the last couple months this summer. I'm getting ready to leave for college in a week, so I've basically detached myself from my ex to the point where I don't even think about her anymore.
Back in July, I got a text from a girl I know from my high school. We're both going to the same school, so she was just talking to me about our dorms and how excited she is for us two to start hanging out and being friends at our college. Now, I knew this girl, but we were never really friends in school. We talked a few times during one of our classes, but that's about it.
We also work at the same place. A couple weeks ago, we worked together and she was constantly coming over to talk to me about anything. She seemed really interested in me and kept offering to help me out or have me help her with what we were doing. This whole time I was kinda getting confused because I has still going through my breakup and I knew that she was still in a relationship with her boyfriend of 4 years. I got a text from a mutual friend of ours who told me they had broken up the week before she originally texted me back in July, so now I was definitely thinking that she was interested in me, but probably as a fallback from her previous relationship.
I tried to go for it. Yesterday we started texting while I was at work. She came in to see me and wanted to talk to me a bunch. She said that we should work on some of our preliminary college stuff together this week, so I was ecstatic. We were talking and snapchatting for hours into the night, until I get a picture of her "ex" on the couch next to her.
I feel like a huge ass. Not only because I assumed we might be going somewhere, but because I feel like I heavily disrespected their relationship by constantly talking to this girl out of interest in her. I guess I completely misread everything, or she is into me but is still holding on with her ex. I don't know, I'm really confused. | Girl I hardly knew from hs is going to same college as I am. Started texting me this summer, wants to start hanging out and do stuff together, kept showing more and more interest in me only to find out she is still with her (ex)bf(?) last night through a snapchat. I don't know what I did wrong. |
t3_3losxy | relationships | I [28M] am in a very weird relationship right now with a "straight guy" [26M] | I met him on Tinder, and even though I've had many other relationships before I can honestly say this one is the best. We travel together, our conversations has been great, I am extremely attracted to him. I love the way he treats me.
Except for the straight thing. You see, ever since the beginning he has insisted that he is straight. And that he is only swiping guys on Tinder "for friends". Here's the thing, what we have for the past year has been a little above a friendship. We kiss, and cuddle, and act pretty affectionately with each other.
But we have never had sex or any kind of sexual foreplay. I tried to communicate with him a number of times, but both times it ended up with pretty much the same conclusion. That he is "straight", he does not feel sexually attracted to me, or any man for that matter. He says he loves spending time with me, and what we have currently is all that he offers, and all that we will ever be.
"If you want to have sexual relationships, go find someone else."
"If you're not happy with all that I have to give, you are free to go."
He says things along those lines. Here's the thing, I'm crazy about this guy. And being able to find someone as perfect as him, while also having the free pass to go around boning any other men I please, may sound like a dream. But it just feels... wrong.
It also does not help that I have always had this fantasy of having sex with a straight guy. So sleeping with him with barely anything on always gets me crazy horny and result in masturbation in the bathroom (he wont even allow me to do it in the same bed).
I would like to know if there's anyone out there who's familiar with this kinda relationship? Or this kinda sexuality? Because this is the first I've ever heard of such a thing. It would be very helpful if I can understand his psychology. | Dating a guy who's been every bit a great boyfriend except he doesn't want to ever get sexual. |
t3_1fjifz | relationships | Freindship with someone you've had an affair with asking too much? | I (21F) am at an impass with my ex (21M). We have known each other for years and our relationship history goes back over 4 yrs. But in the past year he had an affair with another woman. While we were together it was all cyber (fantasies of being together, exchanged photos, long periods online together etc.) , but when we seperated it became a full on relationship.
Fast forward several mons he gets left for a new fling and apologizes for how he has wronged me. I forgive him and give him another try. But when I found out they were still spending several hours a week skyping I freaked and called it off and wouldn't reverse my decision when he wouldn't break contact with her.
Now he and our shared friends are telling me I went too far in dictating who my bf is friends with(even if its a now single friend he cheated with).
But isn't keeping a friendship with the woman you cheated with and asking your gf to just deal with it asking a bit too much? | Ex wants us to stay together but wants to keep friendship with woman he cheated with. Is that asking too much? |
t3_3grcw7 | legaladvice | C*ckblocking Trustees of Special Needs Trust (WA) | When my dad died, I didn't have enough money in my SN Trust that he had set up for me, for the bank to take it. I was forced to make a hasty decision on choosing a new trustee. I am regretting this decision greatly. I've studied the trust, and studied online how it's supposed to work, and have never asked for anything that would cause legal problems within the trust to break it, or to harm my SSI. However, according to [SSI] and according to the trust, I am allowed to own a home (they just can't pay mortgage/utilites/rent), and the trust is also allowed to help me out with housing if I am facing hardship. This money would come out of my SSI, in increments, and I get that. The trustees, however, put me off for a year, charging me outrageous fees, and never gave me an answer or excuse as to why they wouldn't do it. *They refuse conversation*. Finally, they told me to find a new trustee, and this is now their excuse for blocking me on other things - things which are covered under "recreation" and things which have a precedent that they have paid before. I was told by one trustee I had seen that "Yes, you're allowed to spend all the money down if you want, it's your money" which I don't, but just sayin'. I cannot afford legal action against them, without burning out the entire trust - though *I really would love to*! Aside from my attempts at trying to find a new trustee, which I am already doing, does anyone have any advice on how to handle this? I'm just burned out and enraged at this point. | Trustees will pay for me to live in a van down by the river, but not get me an rv or mobile home to live in - though it'd be a one-time payment, and I'd be paying rent and utilities. Trustees will pay for horse leasing/rental and lessons (recreation), as well as YMCA membership (recreation), and as well as dog veterinary bills, but cockblock on buying an actual horse (recreation). Reason: "Your new trustees can deal with this shit. Bugger off. Gimme ur money." |
t3_ucwps | legaladvice | Alabama and/or California Law about performing background checks | I was wondering if anyone has any information about parents performing background checks on people associated with their children. I'm 25 years old and my mom (without my knowledge) hired a PI to do a background check on a friend of mine. In the report, it says everything was in compliance with Alabama (where I live, he lives in California) and Federal laws, though I'm curious as to what the actual law states. And also from what I've read, everything in the report was from public record. So, my guess would be everything was in compliance but I would still like to know if there's any legal action my friend could take against my mother. | According to alabama law, is there any legal action of person can take against another person for performing a background check without their permission? |
t3_2fnq9i | relationships | Me [24F] crush [24M] and bf [27M] | I'm on trouble! Met my highschool crush yestersday while out with friends. We have a crazy connection, we think alike, like the same things and is from the same place. The emotions were crazy. We ended up talking while sitting by the docks looking out from the pier. It was amazing, and heartbreaking. We really hit it off. But, I have a bf of 5 years who I love very much. Nothing happened, othee than the innapropriate conversations of what could have been and how much he wanted to take me home and just sleep with me.
I felt really bad, I never knew he liked me like that. Turns out he told me things he has never told anyone before, because of our connection. Had i been single I would have went in a heartbeat. Seeing how I am very much in love with my bf as well, I would never have gone with him (I think?).
This leaves me in an emotionally confused mess. I'm sittin at another party today, and I added his number to my phone, and I have no idea why. | Met crush, have a bf, great connection, is now really confused. Should I just wait these feelings out? |
t3_2lf69k | tifu | TIFU Creeping on Facebook and tagging my mate in a picture | So this didn't happen today but this year.My mate (let's call him Lewis) was once dating this lady (let's call her Jade). They broke up for an unknown/shitty reason. So me and my other mate (let's call him Grant) thought we would just have a quick look at her Twitter and see if it was because there was another guy in her life, there was.Grant then sent me a link to the suspected guy. Me being stoned [7] was going though his pictures and then misclicked. I tagged a random person (let's call him Jack)on my facebook in this picture and couldn't work out how to untag it.No more than 5 minutes later I had Jade pop up on Facebook calling me immature and all this shit.(I should add Jade is best mates with my Ex (let's call her Lottie)). Then Jack popped up and started with the harassment.Then Lottie... At this point I thought fuck it and made a whole group conversation with them and told them that I really didn't give a fuck.But this wasn't the fuck.. This went down a treat and for a good 30 minutes was arguing with them all.. The main fuck up in my eyes is that Lottie left me saying I was immature and this kinda proved it . | Missclicked on Facebook and proved my point to an ex |
t3_33hrmg | tifu | TIFU by going to the store to buy milk | Allow me to begin with the fact that I am tall, very lean, heavily tattooed and I have a rather large and full very red beard; I am also the father of a two and a half year old girl who, as my wife states, is "home potty trained." This essentially means that no accidents at home, but, when out-and-about, it's a gamble. We allow her to choose and then automatically bring extra clothes... just in case.
Last night after a long day of running errands, my wife and I arrived home to realize we had forgotten to get milk. Not wanting to forego our parking spot (parking can be competitive in our apartment complex), I volunteered to walk the couple of blocks to the grocery story to grab a few groceries and walk back.
The walk and even the very act of grocery shopping is without incident, but it is upon the checkout wherein I fucked up. Unbeknownst to me, my wife had thrown our daughter's change of clothes in the exact same cloth, reusable grocery bag I was now using. Lo and behold, I produce a pastel colored tulip bag that already sticks out like a sore thumb and a fresh pair of my daughter's underwear comes tumbling out... in front of EVERYONE.
The reactions of the surrounding shoppers filtered like falling dominoes. The lady next to me glared disapprovingly and immediately covered her adolescent son's eyes, the cashier looked at me like I am Charles Manson, etc. Pretty sure I won't be returning to this store any time soon. | Wife accidentally spring loaded my pocket with our daughter's super pink underwear and it surprised me (and everyone else) at the self-checkout line in the grocery store. So much embarrassment. |
t3_4ax7hy | relationships | Me (23f) with my partner (47m) who doesn't want sex anymore and my other partner (47m) who is not a good person | I have been with my partner Richard for five years. We got together when I was eighteen. He was married but left his wife for me after six months. (I did not ask him to, nor did I really want him to.) He's a really good person and we are mostly very happy. He has two kids with whom I close; our relationship is again, largely very good.
For the majority of our relationship I have been seeing other people, mainly for the sex. Richard is not good nor is he keen in bed. I have a high sex drive and he does not and this is why I have gone outside the relationship to have my needs met. I have had multiple regular sex partners, for most of this time. Recently I cut almost all of them, with the exception of Alistair, who is one of my best friends. Alistair is the same age as Richard, and married to Catherine. They have two children with whom I am also friendly. (The boy has a crush on me.)
Alistair is not a good person but his dick is good and his libido is high. We have the same personality and humour and I really enjoy his company. We have been having sex for four years. I recently caught feelings while on my period and contemplated leaving Richard for him, but I know that he would never leave Catherine for me (even though he says he would). We work together and sometimes have sex at work. The sex is pretty good but more importantly it's regular. I know that he is not good for me (he sometimes violates my boundaries during sex) but I really want to keep having sex and he's easy.
Richard has responded to my requests for more/rougher sex poorly. He cheated on me three years ago with a woman his own age, but we have since worked through these issues. (She also complained about the sex being bad.)
I don't know who to choose; the man who fulfils my sexual needs or my emotional needs. Richard is really supportive and emotionally the best relationship I have ever had and Alistair is stupid and not particularly pleasant but I feel my sexual needs are met with him. | partner of five years emotionally wonderful and very supportive but terrible in bed; contemplating leaving him for married man who is good at sex. What should I do? |
t3_25zjop | relationships | Me [27 M] with my 23[F] 3 yrs, broken | Well reddit here I am looking for answers.
I married my wife a year ago after being with her and vetting her for 2 years to make sure. I thought I was a good husband to her. I believe now that I chose to stay at home too much while she went out to hang out with her friends at bars and such.
A couple weeks ago she said she felt differently had a new view of things and it was time for her to find herself. Then she basically ended things right then and there.
We still live together though in different bedrooms and I'm still a sucker trying to maintain her way of living as best I can. Why? I dont know. A slice of me says its just a phase a slice of me has hope the other says stop but I can't.
Her support system says she is making a mistake for her it doesn't matter she has a new of life that she's young etc.
Where did I go wrong? Why is she so different all of a sudden? Why can't I focus on anything else I can't even work without looking like the saddest dog in the pound my life is in pieces but I know time heals.
What should I do... | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_28bahn | relationships | My [20 F] boyfriend [19 M] is very introverted and we're both very busy so I feel like I never get the chance to have a quality conversation with him. I want to keep getting to know him! | Hey guys, so my boyfriend of three months and I have a really nice relationship, and we both care a lot about each other. Neither of us have had many relationships before this, He does show how he feels about me, but never really says it. That's okay with me at this point because I know his personality pretty well. He needs time to himself and when he hangs out with anybody he's not the most outspoken.
Since we're so busy and then exhausted at the end of our days, when we hang out often he invites me over and we watch TV for a little and then have sex and we fall asleep. Then I have to leave early in the morning for work. The cycle repeats. I feel like I'm missing out on having quality conversations with him.
I don't have any problems to bring up with him or changes in the relationship to make, I just want to keep getting to know him. We seem to have gotten comfortable with chilling then having sex then falling asleep but I know that's not enough for me! What are some low key activities I can suggest that will give us a chance to keep talking to each other and getting to know each other? | We're too busy/tired once we get the chance to hang out to have a quality conversation with each other. What are some activities that will facilitate a good long talk? |
t3_2rnd98 | relationships | Me [31 M] with my wife [27 F] don't know what to do. | Hi to start off I found out my wife was having an affair last July. She said it was the only time but with Facebook messages and snapshot pics I don't believe her. She was pregnant at the time. We just had the baby and he looks like my other kids in a way. But every now and then I can see the other guy in him. I don't know if its me or not.
I don't know if I should get a divorce or not. I can't get the picture of them being together out of my head. I do love her very much. I have Been trying to keep us together for the kids and my sake. It is very aggravating part of me wants to stay and another wants to leave. It's hard to love someone and hate her so much. I don't know what to do.
On reason I don't want to go is that I have only been with 2 people. It took me years of being alone between them. I don't want to do that age. Being alone is one of my worst fears. I have my family and my kids so that dose help. Whish I know what to do. | all things are bold. Is this going the right way?. |
t3_22kxrz | relationships | Me [24 M] just got told I can't see my therapist anymore because she doesn't accept my insurance. I have nobody to talk to for emotional support. How can I sort myself out? | I spent the last eight years working with the same therapist. I enjoyed going to her because she would push me to go out and socialize, be confident in situations I normally wouldn't feel comfortable in, and help me deal with my dysfunctional family.
Recently found out that it's not possible for me to continue seeing her. I'm considering looking for a qualified cognitive-behavioral therapist in the area. Another option that I have is my school offers free counseling services. For some reason I feel ashamed to go there and have other students see me. Also, it feels disheartening that I have to start over with a new therapist that doesn't know anything about my life.
I feel alone, have trouble concentrating on school work, feel mentally slow, and have no passion for anything. Is it worth checking out the counseling services at school? Are the "therapists" there generally students doing an internship, or are they fully qualified licensed professionals? | My therapist of eight years who has pushed me to succeed academically and socially in spite of my dysfunctional family no longer accepts my insurance. Haven't seen her in months. I'm now doing poorly both socially and academically. |
t3_3en0xe | relationship_advice | [18/m] I like this girl and she knows but she is so hard to please | I don't really have much experience with women. To be fair I have only been on one date and never kissed a girl. Right now, there is a girl I really really like. She is amazing but she thinks she is a horrible person. She is introverted and doesn't like when people constantly try to talk to her. She is really nice but according to her, she can be really really mean sometimes but that is just because she gets stressed from things.
She knows I like her and we talk every once in a while but she doesn't have any feeling for me. Friends is all we are and for now I am alright with that. But I really want to take her out on a date and show her a good time. I know what the perfect date for her would be. She doesn't like touching or watching things but I know of a movie she might like. Hell even if we sat with a seat apart just to make her comfortable I would be fine with that.
The biggest problem now is that I don't know how to make her happy. Even as just a friend, she doesn't really accept any of my offers to help. As a friend, I would do anything for her and she knows that. | I like this girl. She knows. She doesn't like me back. She is introverted but I may have figured out a good date if she ever said yes to one. She means a lot to me. |
t3_2n1q6x | tifu | TIFU by playing with a box in class | A little back ground story of me: I transfered to a new school in Socal from Texas, so over 85 percent of the students in my class doesn't know me.
So I decided to bring a board game since it was the last day before Thanksgiving break and we just had a big event called summit in AP Econ, so our teacher decided to chill for one day.
While my teacher was talking about post event score, I started playing with my board game box and suddenly, it made a loud fart noise. Then everyone looked back at stared at me laughing as if I'm the one who farted even though I didnt.
But for some reason, I was acting like an idiot and didn't explain. I didn't think the students would accuse me of farting instead of the box. Then when I was going to explain the situation, it was too late. I even asked my new friends in class if they thought I farted, and they said yes.
Now, I'm known as the little Texan who just farted in class and a laughing stock. I'm thinking about annoucing to the class after thanksgiving break that I didn't fart and that it was the box. Now all the hot Asian girls will think me as a derp. GG. | My board game box made a fart noise while I was playing with it and the whole class thinks I did it. |
t3_2pa736 | relationships | Me 17M/ with my Girlfriend 17 F going out for 2 months now, How to help her with self conscious issue from past BF | Hey I really need some advice,
My Girlfriend of 2 months, although we've been "seeing" each other for about half a year now, has big self conscious issues surrounding her body and sexual intimacy, she hates me looking at her body and always hides under the sheets when we get intimate.
For a long time I've wondered why, she has a beautiful figure and everyone I meet comments on how good looking she is, although she slowly improved I could never understand the reason for this problem.
Until tonight when, after an argument, she told me that a past boyfriend used to call her ugly and other horrible things about her body all the time, especially after they broke up.
This clearly makes a lot more sense to me now but I am unsure what I can do to help her, apparently she's talked about it before but, I quote, "people think its ridiculous but nothing has ever been done about it".
I hope someone could perhaps relate or have any advice on the best thing I can do to help her? | My self conscious GF was mentally abused by an Ex and I'm looking for some advice on the best course of action I can provide as her BF. |
t3_37g7l6 | tifu | TIFU by messing up with mom | Well it started about a month ago. My mom always left the doors of my room open when she left the room. So I came up with the revenge idea. I saw her throwing away plastic yogurt cup. I picked it out of the trashcan and putting it back on the place it was. She came back in about hour or two and throw it away again. I picked it out and saved it for next day. Was doing same shit for about week and half. Then I took it to the next level. Let me tell you first that she mentioned this to my father, that she might be going crazy. I bought three more yogurts, same brand, same cup. Emptied them and set the bait. When she seen this she broke them and threw them away. So yesterday it's been almost 2 weeks with no yogurt cup thing. So I decided to do it again. I bought same cup again and when she fall a sleep and put it on her nightstand. I heard screaming this morning. She took a day off today. Now I'm preparing to tell her about it. | stupid prank on my mom, she took a day off coz it. |
t3_1dm2oe | relationship_advice | I [18/m] need an outsiders opinion on this relationship [18/F] | Alright, like the title says; I just needed a little insight on what exactly to call this relationship with this girl. We met at work; basically flirted non-stop every single shift we had together, and went on exactly one date.
Now here's the kicker, I had to move cross-country to deal with family issues in another state literally a few days after the date; and we basically talked on a daily basis for the last 2 months. I am going back to the same state in exactly a month, and she will be returning from visiting family overseas in a month as well. We still talk as much as we can, considering the obvious timezone barrier and her being busy with family.
We both have expressed the fact that we want a relationship once we are back in the same state, and we obviously care about each other quite a bit as is.
Now the question I have is; is it reasonable of me to assume that it's basically already a relationship, or should I just leave it as is and see where things go when we are in the same state? I've always had a fairly obnoxious lack of confidence when it comes to relationships, and I'm fairly sure that is the underlying cause to me worrying about her "moving on, or finding someone else" overseas. I haven't ever had jealous feelings before, but I can't help but feel a bit jealous when she tells me about her getting hit on by her friends and other people. | Would you consider this an exclusive relationship? Am I being unreasonable here, or is it fairly valid for me to being feeling a little jealous when I hear about other guys hitting on her? Or how she playfully describes how the "cute" neighbor was hitting on her? I know there really isn't much I can do, but it's driving me a bit nuts thinking about it. |
t3_18yhrj | tifu | TIFU by spamming everyone | So I woke up this morning and my phone notified me that ten emails, saying message not delivered. I was kind of confused, but I was more focused on getting ready for the day, so I pretty much forgot about it. Around 9 o'clock I got an email asking "is this real or spam?" This was when I remembered about those failed ten messages. An email had been sent to not just everyone in my contacts, but to every thread I have ever been part of in the last two years. Most of the people I have not talked to in months. Still waiting on the fall out, it is currently 10:40, this happened hours ago. | If you got an email from... err sorry. |
t3_1lp0fj | relationships | I [f/30] finally moved out from living with my ex-fiance [m/42]. Now I'm utterly confused. | We've been trying to work on our relationship all summer since we broke it off two months ago. Lately he's been telling me that he wants to propose to me again.
Unfortunately, we started fighting yet again.
After screaming at each other like we normally do, I finally said I couldn't take it anymore and hired a truck, drove 500 miles away and moved in with some friends of mine.
Before I left though, after we were cursing each other out while I was packing, he waved goodbye and didn't say much to me. I sat in the car for a while before realizing that if it was the last time we were ever going to see each other maybe I should try to do a better goodbye. So putting aside my differences, I knocked on the door of his house again.
He asked what I wanted and I said I wanted to say goodbye. He opened the door, held out his hand for a handshake and then pulled me into a tight embrace. We cried on each other's shoulders for a while, telling each other that we were really sorry and we didn't mean it and maybe we could still work things out if we get some space from each other for a while. Then he wouldn't let me leave until he'd cooked me some breakfast and he kept asking if I needed anything else to try to stall me.
Ended up crying on his shoulder a bit, he cried too and then I cried all the way down to my new place of residence. I called him like he asked me to when I arrived. He said the cats missed me and he missed me and I told him I missed him too. He said he was so sorry about everything that we said to each other and he was just confused.
But when we fight it gets so bad that it gets to verbal abuse/emotional abuse levels. He also likes to tug on my clothes to try to stop me from walking away when we're fighting.
God, why must we be so Jekyll and Hyde-ish. Why are there so many sides of us?
And where do we go from here? | Moved out of ex-fiance's house and I want to go running back, but I know things won't get better if I do. What do I do? |
t3_4kfs3i | relationships | Me [18 F] with my friend [18 M] of 6 years, asked me a question I thought was inappropriate | Alright so I have been friends with a guy for about 6 years since grade 6 we are reasonably good friends and we talk a lot. Yesterday night I was at prom had a reasonably good time and now on the weekend he asked me an odd question.
We were on Sc and he asked me if I got laid like "ehhhh so did you get laid" now I thought this was really rude uncalled for and slut shaming etc. I told him that wasnt right to ask and then he acted hurt and said he asked the exact same question to all his guy friends and posted a screenshot of him asking a mutual friend the same question.
I dont know now should I cut him off for being a perv or was this an ok question to ask? | Friend asked if I got laid on prom night |
t3_267zoa | relationships | I [34 M] found evidence that my wife [33 F] of 7 yrs may be trying to hook up with co-worker | Hi all, I don't have any close friends who I feel comfortable talking to this about, so I'm hoping you can give me some outside perspective.
For the first time in our 10 yr relationship I went away on a 4 days trip. When I got home, she was vague regarding what she's been up to. In viewing her SMS logs, she was asking a male co-worker about when she could see his place, if they could meet up for dinner & drinks. There were also txt's from the bar where she was telling him to come out, because she could 'keep him up all night'.
I viewed the browser logs on her computer and she was browsing for lingerie and very racy clothing she would normally never consider wearing as she is very conservative.
I'm not sure what to do. On the one hand, I was snooping on her phone and I don't our marriage. However, I feel utterly betrayed, though I don't know if they've been intimate. It's *possible* I'm taking things out of context, but I don't think it's normal for a married woman to talk to a single man that I've never met about seeing his place & having dinner & drinks (what I would call a date).
We've been married for 7 years, and she used to call me every day at lunch to say hi, but that stopped about 3 weeks ago. She also didn't answer my calls when I got back within cell coverage (from camping trip) and didn't wait up for me when I got home.
I'm not sure if I should continue monitoring her SMS's or just confront her now. | Think I've found evidence of my wife striking up a relationship with co-worker. Not sure what to do. |
t3_1b9mys | books | Reddit, please help me find this book. | I know there's a bit to read but please bear with me. Back when I was around 12, I found this (fiction) book at my granddads house and started to read it (even though I knew it wasn't meant for my reading/maturity level). I assume that my granddad must have bought it when he was in his 20s (when he went on a year long business trip to the USA). So this book was probably written 50 years ago (rough guess). The book was written in a different style to most with no quotation marks, and instead new lines and dashes were used to show a person speaking. I only have a vague memory of what it was about but here it goes: A new teacher starts off at a rundown school. And when I say rundown, I mean probably one of the worst schools in the USA. Imagine those places where some of the kids are kept behind for years. So all I remember is how this female teacher tried to help all the rough students etc. no matter how much abuse was thrown at her at the time. I think in the end the students start to accept her, but even those details are shaky. If any of you know about this book, I'd really appreciate you telling me. | quirky writing style (compared to the "average" book), new female teacher at a run down school, written around 1960ish? |
t3_2alvn8 | relationships | Me [24M] with my boyfriend [24M] of 10 months, rarely have sex. | My boyfriend and I have incredibly mismatched sex drives. Everything else is fantastic, we get along great, we enjoy doing the same things, but we have sex maybe once a month.
We've been dating for ten months, lived together for four. The number of months we've lived together matches the number of times we've had sex since I moved in. The last time we did anything sexual, was four weeks ago today, and that was only because it was my birthday.
He self identifies as demisexual, and only gets in the mood every 2-4 days. I, on the other hand, a light breeze will blow by and I'm ready to go. A bit of hyperbole, but I do usually have to get myself off once a day.
Now the odd part to me, is that if I bring up possibly having sex in a few days or so, he'll get irritated. I always ask several days in advance because I know he only gets in the mood every couple of days. But if I ask on a Wednesday if we could have sex on Sunday, he'll become exasperated as if I did something horribly offensive.
And when he does get in the mood, if I'm at work or at the store, he'll just get himself off despite the fact that he knows how much I enjoy sex. He has said that once he's in the mood, he can't really wait so he just does it himself. I know this might be a little self-centered, but I don't understand that train of thought because most of the time if I get horny, I don't feel the need to follow through with it.
He has brought up having an open relationship in the past, and I have considered it. A lot of my friends are in open relationships themselves. And I'm not bad with one night stands and what not, it's just I want to have to sex with him. :/ | F1 sex drive dating Public Transit sex drive. help? |
t3_2w12kq | tifu | TIFU by sleeping with a friend | Last night a friend was having a 30th a few hours drive from home so we decided to stay down there and my female friend Jess offered to give me a lift. We are both good mates and so I thought what a good idea and i can sleep, on the way down I told her I was sharing a room with another 1 of our friends lets call him Simon. Almost at the hotel she starts talking about how funny it would be if we played a prank on simon and offered him a threesome, I was like that would be pretty funny... i thought Let's do it!
After a big night, much alcohol and party drugs were taken... we headed back at 3am, we all get a bus back to the hotel and Jess follows us to our rooms, I open the door and just collapsed on the bed.
Jess and Simon are hooking up at the door, both come in and go to his bed and start getting into it, she is moaning and he is moaning and im just thinking fuck. .. im so not keen for this so i pretend im passed out and asleep. Finally they are done and she leaves and i get a text saying she needs to talk to me so i leave the room and go to hers. The druken/high naive idiot i am, goes to her room and she is naked and jumps me and im like no way i dont want sloppy seconds. She says they didn't fuck, pulls my pants down and stars going down on me, so i was like ok im pretty horny now so jess and i fucked for like an hour. Afterwards it was awkward as fuck, i go back to my room and sleep and wake up and now I have to drive 3 hours with her back home. I told her not to tell anyone and I was way too high... but omg such a fuck up, most awkward 3 hours. I dont think i can sit down and be normal around her again. | female friend was keen on me and took advantage of me drunk and high, spent 3 hours awkwardly not talking in the car |
t3_homk3 | BreakUps | Need to break up. Looking for encouragement. | I (f/23) need support for a breakup.
I've been with my boyfriend (m/24) for two and a half years. It's been great. We've been long distance for the last year. When we're together, things are gravy. We like the same nerdy board games, we have the same sense of humor, and great chemistry (both physical and emotional). For the past two years, I've felt like he's the one.
However...
He doesn't like to be romantic. I never really noticed it before we were long distance, but he never writes notes. Never sends flowers. Responds to maybe 1 out of 5 emails or messages of any kind. He tells me that it's not intentional, and I know he has this kind of relationship with his other friends.
He's perfect for me in every regard, and ideally I want to marry a guy like this, but I know I'm cheating myself by accepting someone who isn't head over heels for me. When I said this to him, he
insists that he is crazy about me, but he feels secure enough and that I'm never going to leave him, so he isn't motivated to do nice things for me like I do for him. (How would that be after a wedding???)
He's pretty much a great friend, not a great boyfriend. What my problem is, is how to break up with someone who I think is perfect. It's not him..it's me. I just want to be loved, too. | I like my boyfriend too much and I deserve more. |
t3_2klsvd | relationships | How to handle one partner paying more rent/bills when we're both broke? I(23f) can barely cover us but he (25m) is unemployed... | Boyfriend and I have been together for a bit over two years, living together for about 8 months. Very happy together, great relationship. We're both students and he has been able to pay his rent and bills in past years with student aid, and he worked over the summer to save money. This past year he got a lot less aid, but he will graduate in about 6 months. He looked into getting a job but also asked if I could float him for a few months, I could (just barely) as I work and get student aid too, but I don't feel super comfortable with him owing me so much money! Also it would destroy any savings I might be able to have, and we'd need a really harsh budget.
I would much rather he get a little shitty part time job, just for a few months, so we could live more comfortably. He would rather finish his degree, then begin working full time and I could stop working (he would cover me/ pay me back this way) while I finish my degree up. However, I make very good money working only part time as a nanny, and don't really feel any pressure to quit in order to finish my degree, the job is very flexible and I'm able to go to school full time.
Whatever we do, I'd like some advice on how to handle this. I'm pretty money conscious, and while I love my boyfriend and consider up strong partners, we a Obviously aren't married and don't have a " your money is my money" kind of relationship, but of course I want to be supportive while he finishes his degree. We've never had any other agreement other than 50/50 for expenses, so I need some guidance! | My boyfriend finishes his degree in 6 ish months and has asked for me to help him financially until then, however I could just barely afford it and we would have to seriously budget. I would rather he get a part time job for a few months. Need help figuring the whole thing out. |
t3_25fi6e | relationship_advice | How can I(F24) be more patient while waiting for my SO(M23) to be ready? | My SO (M23) and I (F24) have been in a relationship for almost 2 and a half years, we have a wonderful relationship where we can be very honest and open with one another. The only real snag in our relationship is that about 10 months ago I reached a point where I decided that he's the one and that I want to marry him. The problem is that he's not there yet.
I do my best to be patient with him and accept that it's just going to take him longer but I find that I get worn down and it really gets to me sometimes. I tend to go through cycles where I'm ok for a couple months and then I start thinking about it too much and it makes me feel sad and distant from him. He knows how I feel and does his best to comfort me.
I was just wondering if there's anyone else who is going through this or has been through this that has any advice as to how to deal with being in different places in their relationship. | Classic girl (me 24F) is ready before boy (M23) to get married, advice on how to cope would be appreciated. |
t3_3bl9ci | relationships | I [M/18] and my girlfriend [F/18] are going off to college soon.... 8 hours apart. We want to make it work. | My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little bit over 2 and a half years. In a few short weeks we will both be at college 8 hours away from each other. We are totally in love with each other and want to make it work. Can anyone give me some tips to help make it work when we are in college? I'd appreciate any advice...
I think I'm just afraid that she's going to have so much fun she won't need me anymore:/ or that she might forget about me:/ Even though she's never done anything like that and I KNOW she loves me a ton... Any advice is welcomed. | Girlfriend and I are heading to college far away from each other, need advice to make it work still. |
t3_uki77 | relationships | Should I open up to my best friend about how I feel about her, or would that ruin our friendship? | Okay, so about 9 or 10 months ago, I (16) and this one girl I sat by in biology (15) really hit it off as friends. We started to become really good friends, but I had never intended on liking her as more than that. She already had a boyfriend, and I was interested in someone else. We became best friends, and I was happy with that for several months.
Eventually, she broke up with her boyfriend, and I started to see her as more than just a friend. She did too, for a short period, but she told me that she's not interested in being anything more than friends, and we still are. The only problem is that while she got over me, I just started to like her more and more. What was just simple infatuation turned into full fledged love.
I feel like she may change her mind if I open up to her about how much she truly means to me, and how much I really care for her. At the same time, she could find it weird, and it could potentially damage our friendship. What do I do? | I fell in love with my best friend, but opening about it could ruin our friendship. |
t3_qri1i | loseit | Help! I am stalled and I don't know why! | I started on February 9th with watching what I eat. I am simply trying to keep my calories between 1,500 and 1,600 and am not worried about staying away from this food or that food.
About two weeks ago, I started walking on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I track it, but don't try to eat more to compensate partly because I know calorie counts for fitness aren't reliable. I just walk as far and as fast as I feel I can on what ever given day it is.
I had a bad scale in the beginning, and when I bought a new one a few weeks ago, it read higher than the old one. I simply adjusted for the fact that I (thought) I had lost a few pounds already.
I am stuck now. I was down to almost 188 last weekend, and have somehow come back up to 190. I know that I'm not burning 500 calories every day, but I am *burning* everyday, so how can I be putting on weight? (I am F, 28, 5' 7" (1.70 meters), started at 193 (87.5kg) (maybe) and I am stuck around 190 (86.1kg).
[Here is my nutrition tracker] at Spark People. My water consumption isn't accurate, but I try to make everything else as accurate as possible. | I am stuck in my weight loss early on, and it is discouraging! |
t3_1ey7t8 | AskReddit | If you had a year of free time & a library card, what would you read to start a fresh career (no degree), be it for $ or fulfillment? | You have a whole year of free time and a well stocked public library.
What areas of interests and topics do you read in order to give yourself the knowledge to start a career that interests you, one that doesn't require a degree or certification (unless you could properly learn the material to complete either with books located in the library)?
[No recreational literature unless you want to become a writer of some sort, or it applies to a career]
Seriously, this came to mind when I went to the library and saw the endless amount of useful books to learn about anything you could think of, from drawing, to writing, to programming, to electronic music production, to biographies, to investing, ad infinitum.
A library card costs nothing, and there's so much to learn from spending time in a library, why don't more people take advantage of it, and if you could, how would you?? | If you had a free year, what would you read in a library to start a lucrative/fulfilling new career based on what you've read? |
t3_3oiyxh | dogs | [Vent] Boarded Dog Over the Weekend- Now He's Very Ill | Boarded two of our dogs over the weekend at a new place since we had a falling out with our last boarding person. My dog is an 9 year old with heart disease and kidney disease requiring pills three times a day. I talked to the woman running the place over the phone about his med schedule (lasix, enalapril, and an antibiotic for a recent UTI) before confirming our reservation. We left him Friday morning at 8 am and just got him back at 6pm.
First thing I notice is that he's peeing everywhere. All over himself before he even gets in the car- and his urine stream is weak- telling me that his UTI is much worse than it was when we left him and he was peeing just fine. I took him home, where he proceeded to pee in a dribbly stream ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE. That's something he only does when he's super sick.
After letting him pee it out in the yard, I realized that he's super freaking distended. Both of the dogs are. I took pictures of how swollen he is and the callous on his elbow that is now bleeding.
My sweet old dog who was in really freaking good shape on friday looks like hell today. My husband and I are pissed.
I counted the pills and there's a literal shit ton left when she should have run out of the antibiotic on Sunday. The lasix is off by 5 pills and the enalapril is off by 2. At this point I also recalled that I only gave her enough dinner for them for 3 nights and she had mentioned already giving them dinner.
When I called, she recited his med schedule and told me that she DID feed them from her food supply since they 'looked so sad tonight'. I let her know that we will be headed to the vet first thing in the morning and that I will be keeping her posted. | Dog needs meds- doesn't look like the woman dog sitting for us gave him meds. Dog looks like crap. I'm mad. Husband is mad. There's nothing to do but complain at the moment. Dogs are curled up in my lap. |
t3_4hwjav | relationships | Me [28 F] with foreign guy I'm texting [20s M] for past 2.5 weeks. Am I hoping for too much? | Ive been texting this foreign guy I met on OkCupid back and forth for the past 2.5 weeks. We hit it off right away and it's not completely hopeless for us because he says he's planning to visit my country in the next 2-3 months. I really like him and he makes me really happy whenever he texts. He got out of a serious relationship about 9 months ago and says he's been single since. I really hope he's as great in person as he is over text. I've been on a few days since we started texting but no one I've met compares to him. TBH most of my past relationships have been casual because my exes were commitment-phobic but I feel like there's really something here so I want to take it slow. My friends keep telling me to skype him to make sure he is who he says he is but I feel like i don't want to be disappointed before our first date, if that makes sense. Besides I trust him. As far as sexual compatability goes, we already sexted a few times. But at the time I was hoping for something more serious so I told him I didn't feel like casually sexting anymore. He agreed and we stopped but he still texts me constantly regardless so it's not just about sexting. One caveat is that he told me he has no plans of living in my country, so Im accepting that our relationship would end up being casual when he visits. But, part of me still hopes that this will pan out into something more serious. Do you think there's a chance? | met foreign guy online with no plans of moving to my country, but I'm hoping for something serious with him. Any chance of that? |
t3_374grd | relationships | How do I [24 F] express when I want to have sex to my new date [26 M]? | I [24 F] have just started dating again after taking a break for a few months to focus on some personal issues. Last week I went on a date with a great guy that I like a lot [26 M] and we have plans to see one another next week. We talk daily and have great chemistry based on our make out session so far. It's looking promising and I'm really excited about getting to know him better.
I am not interested in having sex unless I am exclusively dating the person I'm seeing and a commitment to continuing our relationship has been expressed. It's just my personal preference. It isn't a "3 date rule". I prefer to know someone better and have an idea of what they're seeking before getting physical. I also am really not into sleeping with a guy who is seeing other women.
I have been single for a year after being cheated on, and I'm gradually learning how to trust again. I don't need some elaborate gestures, I love you's, etc. - just "I'm not seeing anyone else, I really like you and I want us to date exclusively."
I've read a few relationship advice books. They ALL say to keep men on their toes and wait out for sex all while making them think you don't want commitment. I hate these games. I realize dating involves careful thought and consideration, but I am a blunt person who values honest communication. Is there a line I can walk between being blunt but not scaring someone?
How can I convey my feelings about sex in a way that aren't demanding and weird? I don't want to ask for a commitment from someone. I want it to be offered freely. But I also feel weird about going on a lot of dates and avoiding the topic of sex and where things are going. Where is the balance here? And when do I say it? | How can I let a guy know I want exclusivity before sex without being demanding or putting pressure on him to "commit"? |
t3_2s3icf | relationships | Me [18 F] with my friend [18 F] 4 months, online best friends, she found a new friend? Severe attachment | Hey everyone,
I met this girl 4 months ago on the internet. We play CSGO together among other games. We talk in skype for literally 10+ hours a day since October now. I like her more than a friend and she does not like me more than a friend.
She met some guy last week in the game and now they hang out all the time. She wants to split the time she spends with both of us in half, it seems, but i can tell she would rather hang out with him. I have gotten excruciatingly jealous, I cry every night about how she doesn't want to spend all day with me. I think about it all day, i had to skip class because i couldnt take the pain. How can we go from spending all day together to her wanting to spend time with someone else abrubtly?
I am severe attachment with her, now that this has happened, and i have been bothering her every day with stupid bullshit how i miss when she would just hang out with me and i dont like that she hangs out with this guy now. I am insanely needy. I want her back badly, i just want things to be how they were.
I know im being unfair and thats why I need major help. She missed me terribly when we didnt talk, but i think ive annoyed her. I dont know if she will miss me again.
I am so possesive of her, I just want her all to myself. Thats not true, i just want her to love me the most and i want to really know it.
Im at a loss of words now but im going to post this anyways, please help me | Severe attachment issues with a friend who doesn't want to hang out as much |
t3_4pg73p | Advice | Need a really smart and experienced person to help me . | Hello , im writing this out of desperation as i am in the hardest predicament of my life . Basically i just finished my first year of dental technique and had to pay 1k euro for the first year , and now i went to a private lab tolearn how dental technique in real life actually works , not the bullshit they teach us in school , but the thing is that the boss there is a completeley arrogant prick , hes not an evil person , hes just arrogant calling everyone stupid and makes sarcastic jokes about me implying that im not passionate enough , too slow and will never make it , at this point hes given up on me completeley but he is willing to let me come look at them work , maybe i can learn trough that .
The second problem and the biggest one is that i realised im not really passionate about this profession at all , thats why i cant put the effort that i know i could put into it to really learn and excell , i would instantly quit but i REALLY dont want to dissapoint my mother and my grandmother because they have supported me financially for this whole year and i dont want their money to go to waste and to crush their hopes | Im a little bitch and i just now after 1 whole year realised i dont like dental technique but i dont want to quit to dissapoint my parents. |
t3_117ep9 | relationships | I'm [20m] in a happy, healthy long-distance relationship with my GF [20f], but I can't stop fantasizing about this woman I'm good friends with when we're away. Any hints/help? | My GF and I have been dating for 2.5 years. 1.5 years in our home town, and 1 year away from each other (FAR away).
I love her more than anything in the world. She makes me so happy, and I would never cheat on her. I want to marry her.
Considering the distance our relationship is actually pretty solid, and whenever were together its amazing and we spend every second with each other.
BUT while we're away, I spend a lot of time with another girl. She's very attractive, and we get along really well. I try not to flirt with her, or instigate any feelings more than good friendship, but regardless, the sexual tension is unavoidably apparent between us. She knows I have a GF and that I love her, and just want to be good friends with her, and doesn't try to get me to cheat at all, but it's clear that it's something she thinks about (she talks to other people about it).
I feel like because we're so far away, and my girlfriend and I are so... intimate... when were together, and this other girl is so close, and around me all the time, that my brain tries to fill in the gap of unfulfilled physical needs while I'm away by fantasizing about this other girl ALL THE TIME. I have dreams about having sex with her nearly every week. And when I'm with her, it's all I can think about. I almost can't look in to her eyes without thinking about kissing her, or having sex with her.
I would never cheat, but it's getting so hard to deal with this tension and guilt I feel for having thee fantasies and thoughts. It's nearly constant when I'm here. I just want to be good friends with her, and not have to deal with these frustrating fantasies. Any tips for how to deal with this? | long distance, healthy, loving relationship, would never cheat, but can't stop fantasizing about one of my good friends here |
t3_103ola | AskReddit | Parents: What do you do with the baby teeth the tooth fairy collects? Everyone else: Did your parents present you with a "full set" as an adult? | I was hanging out at a friend's house when she and her husband arranged a visit from the Tooth Fairy to reward their son for his missing tooth. She then turns to me and asks, "What do I **do** with it?"
She then confides that she has been keeping the baby teeth of all three of her children, but she also has a fourth ziploc baggie of "unknown" teeth because at some point she kept teeth but forgot which belonged to whom. I jokingly suggested that she wait for everyone to lose their teeth, and then try to assemble three full sets using the "unknown" teeth. She seriously gave my suggestion some thought before deciding that that's kind of creepy. I said that she should ask other parents, but she said that she felt awkward - because what if it has an obvious answer and she was the only one who didn't know?
I volunteered to ask reddit to spare her the agony of not knowing what to do with her children's teeth and to spare her the awkwardness of asking other parents IRL. | Friend doesn't know what to do with three kids' baby teeth. She has been keeping them in three corresponding baggies but has a fourth baggie of "unknowns." She doesn't know what to do with them. |
t3_4vstc4 | Advice | My patient won't let me do physical therapy on her but her family want me to | I (23F) work in the Philippines as a physical therapist with a passion. I care for the elderly on most occassions and I enjoy my career.
I visit one of my patients (+80F) during home care. She smiles and is hospitable to me, but she refuses to let me do my job for her. When I tell her family this, I tell them that I cannot conduct physical therapy without the patient's consent. It's part of the rules. I suggested switching to a different therapist but they insist on having me work for them.
I don't know how to help them. Are there any experiences nurses that can give me some advice or share with me some of their experiences? Do I persevere or do I comply? I would appreciate the gesture. | I am a physical therapist. Elderly patient doesn't want me to do therapy on her. Her family need me to do it for her. What do I do? |
t3_1hdg0h | relationships | I [19/F] hit it off really well with a guy [22/M] at a party yesterday. What now? | I met this guy at a party a little over a month ago and we ended up having a conversation for about two hours or so. He seemed really interested in everything i had to say! My dreams/goals/stories, everything! He was also very handsome haha. So I developed a slight crush and made the bold move to add him on facebook a few days later. Neither of us messaged each other or anything.
Yesterday, we saw each other again at a party and spoke for hours! He remembered little details of our previous conversation and I was flattered. The conversations with him are filled with so much energy and we were both just giggling the whole time. So now what do I do? Should i wait for him to message me? Do i message him? What should I say!!? I don't want to mess this up. | Saw a guy at a party for the second time and hit it off again and I want to know how to take things further. |
t3_47nhbz | relationships | Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [21 M] of 7 months. I gave him an anxiety attack. | Hey guys. My boyfriend and I have been together long enough that we can sense what the other is feeling pretty easily. He has problems with anxiety that he is working on and I am supporting him, or at least doing my best to. We were talking on the phone and I was getting annoyed, not by him, but nevertheless annoyed. I think I triggered him having an episode because of it. He started the call cheerful until I came along and ruined his night. I don't know if I should apologize, on the phone I said that it was my fault and he told me it wasn't but it had to have been because there wasn't anything else going on at the moment.
What do I do? | Pretty sure I gave my boyfriend an anxiety attack, please help. |
t3_1alq09 | tifu | TIFU by sleeping at the airport | I had a 6am flight this morning on a business related venture. I didn't want to wake up at 4AM to get to the airport so I had a friend drive me there at 11PM the night before so I could check in early and catch some Z's before boarding. When I got to the airport the kiosks that let's me check in were all turned off for the night. No biggie, I'll just wake up in the morning to do it.
I thought about setting my alarm for 5 but I remembered this place is never crowded. I've been at this airport probably over 10 times in my lifetime and the check-in process is always a breeze and never takes more than 10 minutes. I sat my alarm for 530 and went to sleep. Big mistake.
When I get to the kiosk at 5:32, I'm told I have missed my check-in time and my next available flight is at 1230. Since I've missed my original flight and had to "reschedule", American Airlines charged an additional $75 (they seem to be charging you for everything these days).
Not only do I arrive over 6 hours later than expected, essentially missing the day, I also got charged an additional fee. | I'm an idiot |
t3_2kcd0n | relationships | Me [17M] with my Girlfriend [19F] Have been together a year and a half but things aren't the same. | Okay so some back ground I am a senior in high school and she graduated a year ago, we have broken up three or four times for about a week at the time and gotten back together; (not even technically broken up we were still sleeping with each other) this is my first real relationship where I can say I am truly in love however...
Things with us are not the same it is like we argue all the time now.
It is truly the first relationship that I love someone but this isn't her first one. It is not a turn off but I don't know if she is the person i truly want because she is all I know. Also it is my senior year and I kinda want to have some freedom, and not be tied down. I know this sounds kinda wrong but I mean I want to be able to experience my life I don't want to be tied down she has started to talk about marriage and kids and I don't think I am ready for all that. I have also been kinda talking to other girl that I think I might like but not sure yet and if I do I can't go through with it.
Mainly my question is am I being selfish? Should I break up with her? If so how do I do it and not go running back to her like always? | Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and a half and things aren't the same. I want to try other thing and am I being selfish for thinking this? |
t3_4eiczc | relationships | My boyfriend wants to disagree with everything I say. | My boyfriend and I have been together 3 months. Other than this issue, our relationship is great. I'm 31, he is 40. I am female, he is male. My boyfriend is always disagreeing with me. Sometimes it's one thing right after the other. It hurts sometimes because I will offer something that will benefit us both, like I offered to buy a new washer/dryer set to save money on our electric bill, set would really save some money. He just tells me a million reasons why it's a bad idea and acts like I'm stupid for even thinking about it. He said this right after I was bawling my eyes out about something bad that had happened to me...
I would have, especially in that moment, have at least appreciated some gratitude for the kind gesture, but instead I felt out down. All he needed to say was thanks, but no thanks. I've never had this type of feeling come up with anyone.
I'm 31. I've mentioned this to him and he said if I keep harping on it he feels like he will need to be fake. I don't need him to agree with everything, but sometimes I feel like he disagrees just to disagree. I would like him to at least acknowledge some of the many kind gestures I make, and kinda lessen the disagreeing when it's not necessary, because on some days it happens constantly.
bold I just want him to value my opinion a bit, or at least show it some more. | I wish he could just show me that he value my opinion some more. I feel belittled with his urge to disagree all the time.. |
t3_1zm8vt | tifu | TIFU by inundating several kilograms of beef in human blood | Didn't think I was going to be posting on TIFU again so soon, but here we go, sit down and buckle up.
I work as a casual at a certain well known fast food chain (We'll call it The Scottish Restaurant, honestly don't care how much of a dead giveaway it is) and I made a pretty bad mistake.
Some context, I've been having blood tests about twice a month to keep tabs on my white blood cell count, having semi-recently returned from Papua New Guinea with a malaria infection (thank you doxycycline for stopping it from getting any foothold) and with a severe infection in my left leg that fucked the nerves up so that I can't feel anything around my left calf (not sure if permanent) and I happened to have one of those blood tests done this morning, where they fucked up the original sample and for whatever reason, needed to take more than usual.
I'm not supposed to do even moderately heavy lifting for a certain amount of time after a blood test, couldn't see the harm, now I have been shown the light.
I was working in the kitchen of my store this afternoon and had to restock the grillside freezer with more beef patties from the main meat freezer (they come in boxes of >10 kilograms, not certain exactly how heavy they are) and somewhere between the two freezers, the bloody floodgates opened and blood rained down from each arm upon the box, easily getting in. The patties are protected by a plastic wrapping also, but for whatever reason, the top was open and blood poured down into it and contaminated the entire box of beef.
My manager spoke to me on the spot, and nobody's being blamed for the events of today, since this is the first time out of six blood tests that I'd actually had issues with this sort of thing. However, I gave them the dates of future blood tests so they don't roster me on those days to prevent that happening again. | Picked up a box, contaminated several kg of beef with blood |
t3_rlcz0 | AskReddit | Is this considered a ponzi scheme? | I'm not sure how many of you follow American politics but there is a political group entitled Americans Elect:
According to their website their goal is
>[THE GOAL OF AMERICANS ELECT is to nominate a presidential ticket that answers directly to voters—not the political system.](
>American voters are tired of politics as usual. They want leaders that will put their country before their party, and American interests before special interests. Leaders who will work together to develop fresh solutions to the serious challenges facing our country. We believe a secure, online nominating process will prove that America is ready for a competitive, nonpartisan ticket.
Sounds like a cool idea right? a real **grassroots** type of thing?
No so fast...
The final decision on a candidate actually lies with the "Candidate Certification Committee" who is
>- The Honorable William H. Webster (R)
Former Director, FBI and CIA; Chairman, Homeland Security and Advisory Council; Retired Partner, Milbank, Tweed, Hadley and McCoy
- Larry Diamond (D)
Senior Fellow, Hoover Institute and Freeman Spogli Institute, Stanford University
- James Thomson (I)
President emeritus, RAND Corporation
Technically the decision of the committee can be overruled by a majority vote of all delegates **only if the committee approves unanimously to be overruled**
* [Here is a link to a petition by a member to overturn said decision.](
Now if that wasn't shady enough lets see what we know about who is bankrolling this operation.
* The organization has raised 22 million dollars at this point according to [Time](
* According to Time, 5 million of those dollars were donated by the founder's father, the former [Director of International Capital Markets at investment bank Drexel Burnham Lambert.](
[Now normally accepting money from a big donor wouldn't be suspicious but according to the **newly** changed by laws the money \(which has already been spent\) that was donated will now be returned. ]
This is all just absurd and I think more people should be made aware of how they are being used. | group takes donations - uses money to repay other wealthier donors |
t3_2s2sku | relationships | My [20M] ex [22F] saved my phone number from three months ago and texted me two days ago. What does she want? | A very long story short, I met this woman online and moved to be closer to her and give our relationship a chance. It ended very quickly (3 months) and there was a lot of blood shed, mostly about how she developed feelings for a married man and wished me "out of the picture." During our last conversation, she asked me to delete her number and I did. After that I deleted/blocked her on everything that I could think, and got rid of anything in my life that could possibly remind me of her. I did such a good job that I hardly can remember what she looks like.
But then I got a text from a mysterious number two days ago. After moving I only got a handful of numbers from other people, only only a few had the area code she had. So it didn't take much to figure out it was her. I feigned ignorance and asked who it was anyway. She tried to shrug it off as a wrong number, but I took a wild guess and asked why she texted me. She quickly apologized and I requested her to delete my number for her sake. I then deleted the thread. Maybe an hour later she texted again and said that she regretted how things turned out between us and was very sorry for how she "treated me." I talked to her a little bit, and she just kept apologizing, saying that I "deserve more than you ever got from [her]," and that she wished me the best. She also said that if I ever needed anything I shouldn't hesitate to go to her.
This morning I asked how she was doing and why she texted me, and she just said that she had been "doing some thinking" and felt that she was more emotionally stable now.
However, since I have a problem wanted to know everything, I'm wondering why she randomly decided to text me. I was thoroughly convinced that she was done with shit she thought I had and never wanted to hear from me again. Hell, she was adamant about blocking me on Facebook and cutting contact in every way. But this throws that out the window, and now I feel like I need to resolve something again in my head. | Ex texted me about this pity party she was having for herself, and I'm wondering why. It doesn't make sense to me. |
t3_19p4af | relationships | [M21] been seeing this girl [19F] for a couple months and not sure where to proceed next | Hey, /r/relationships! Thanks in advance for any advice; it's much needed and appreciated! Throwaway because I'm a pussy. If my post needs redirecting, just nudge me in the right direction. :D
It all started back in late December when a girl who had previously been an acquaintance and I began to talk when she moved back to Minneapolis from living in Colorado for awhile. We sporadically began talking over Facebook and planned a couple days to hang out. Went on a couple of movie dates and reached first kiss and cuddling pre' quickly. I asked her out after a week or two of talking and she said she didn't really say 'yes' or 'no' because she wasn't quite situated in Minneapolis and isn't a fan of long distance. She ended up going back to Colorado for a month to gather her belongings and just got back a week or so ago.
We've both admitted on multiple occasions to each other that we fancy the other and she even threw down the idea of rooming up with me here. She's met most, if not all my friends and I her's and we all seem to mesh quite swimmingly. I'm not sure if it's worth mentioning that we've also had the sex once as well and have been pretty sexual.
So with all those details being mentioned. I come to you with my anxieties. We still refer to each other as friends and aren't really official. My last two relationships have been rushed into and I was played both times, more or less. So, I'm unsure of how to push things into the relationship/boyfriend/girlfriend stage since it has been awhile and how to know if she's ready for that.
Please excuse the Great Wall of Text and my run-on sentences too. | been seeing this girl for two months and now unsure of how to make it official. |
t3_wcifm | AskReddit | How do you handle being embarrassed by your family's behavior/disposition? | So I've been in a weird place (emotionally) for awhile now. I was raised by a very conservative, white family in a small farm town in the Midwest. They are mostly lower class, and have some very close-minded views when it comes to race, homosexuality, etc. When I graduated high school, I left the state for school. I just graduated from an engineering school in Colorado and since I have been gone I was able to come into myself and who I want to be and I realized that I am a very open-minded, liberal person with views that are nearly (if not completely) 180 degrees from my family. I visited them shortly after graduation and I realized that I can't stand being around their viewpoints and the hateful things they say. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and they have always been very close but I feel like I don't belong anymore because of our views. Does anyone else have more experience on how to handle this? O and I don't live with them anymore, I moved to a different state for my career. Thanks! | My family has completely different (and often offensive) views from me and I don't know how to handle it. |
t3_4n67vi | jobs | Any suggestions for a possible career path? | To summarize my experience and myself as much as possible,
I'm 21 years old and I've worked in HVAC/Construction/Mechanical repairs. However, my work was bought out in 2015, which prevented me from getting my official management title and the certifications in the field.
Besides that, I run my own business (website with my own dedicated box, unmanaged if anyone knows what that means). I deal on a professional level with contacts in larger companies pretty regularly through this and do all the maintaining and development myself. I'm all self taught however and I would rather get certifications for IT careers while I'm in an entry position, considering how expensive they are.
I have a variety of supervisory roles in a couple of companies, mainly because I'm a dependable worker. I have the typical retail/fast food experience, warehousing is very prominent in my experience and currently I'm working in manufacturing for a company that provides 90% of North America's supply, of something (NDA, it blocks me from mentioning it too much).
It's a fairly large factory and I'm the only person in the plant that has been trained in two very critical areas, and have had management specifically compliment my work ethic, determination, how fast I learn and adapt (I learned my areas in roughly a quarter of the average time), and they want me to learn more.
Here's the issue. I make $16.86 an hour, and I work a shift I didn't want to work (they hired me for a entirely different shift). If I move to a new shift, I have to take a paycut and I've had people tell me I should get a raise for learning more areas than everyone else. But they don't give increases besides the dime or so every July.
I want to find a career I can progress in. I'm incredibly driven and to be honest, I grew up poor as fuck, I want to stop being so poor. | I'm tired. I'm sure the above didn't make sense, so. |
t3_45fq76 | relationships | My bf [27m] did not handle my [26f] birthday well and I am not sure if I'm overreacting or not | So we've been dating off and on for around 8 months. Things were rocky in the beginning but we had finally come to an understanding that we were happy with each other and planned on making this a serious relationship. Or so I thought...
My birthday is 3 days after Valentines, which can be scary for a lot of men. I work for a company who abuses the "holiday" so I gave him the go ahead to veto any plans he may have had and told him to just focus on my birthday. Now, I am very low maintenance to begin with so I figured this would be an easy task for him. I am a huge pothead, I like sparkly smelly good things and anything with owls on it. Typical white girl shit. I feel like I'm not hard to please at all.
So what does he do? We are laying in bed a week before my birthday and he tells me:
>I'm real low on money
>I almost got you a vape for $60 but I missed the coupon window
>I thought about getting you a chill Em
>you said we were good to not do vday so I didn't plan on that just so you know
>you said you liked that one comic...what was the name of it again? Oh yea, that's right. I'll swing by sometime and pick it up for ya
No talk of dinner plans, date night or anything. I'm well aware of his money situation and I would've been happy with a pizza and a card; yet now I'm sitting here stewing over this incident that makes me feel selfish and materialistic. But at the same time I'm so incredibly offended. Presents are my thing! I love planning them, giving/receiving the presentation...just all of it. I work really hard have come from little so anything that makes me feel special just does it for me. And I swear I've told him this many times before. So you would think that he (being an intelligent man) would have realized that my birthday is the time to go all out for me. But nope. | my boyfriend didn't make plans for my birthday and asked me what he should get because he couldn't remember what it was that I wanted. |
t3_1vn4vq | relationship_advice | I [22m] can't tell if I should tell the girl [22f] that I have been talking to if I love her. | First off obligatory mention of the throwaway, girl knows my actual account.
So about three months ago, I met this girl through a phone app, unexpectedly. Since we met we have talked nearly every day, and about everything under the sun, we have exchanged details to which we discovered that we are very far apart from each other, but continued talking anyway. And as time went on we grew closer together, and now as it stands I am looking to move to her area for work by about August (finishing school before I can move) for reasons beyond just meeting and being with her, such as cheaper cost of living and better job market.
The problem here is this though, we have told each other that we are attracted and like each other in the past. But now, I can't stop thinking about her, no matter how hard I try. I feel like I am falling in love with her, and I want to tell her, but I am scared that I will scare her away, which is the last thing I want. If I could get some opinions from other people, I would be very grateful. | met girl online three months ago, have yet to physically meet her, but I think I am falling in love with her, but scared she will run if I tell her. |
t3_1vlyn6 | relationships | [21/f] in long relationship showing me [21/m] signs of interest. What do you take from this? | There is a girl I met once last spring. I haven't seen her until a lot
recently.
And by seen, I mean that I see her at the gym with her boyfriend.
However, whenever she sees me, we have lingering eye contact.
Needless to say, I believe the attraction is there.
She has a boyfriend of 2 or 3 years and usually works out with her,
but I catch her looking at me a lot of the time.
In fact, once she was playing basketball wearing a long shirt and
she lifted up it all the way up to her sports bra and sort of just left it there and looked at me to see if I was looking.
Later, her boyfriend kissed her and then she looked at me and she wiped it off. What does this mean? | girl in relationship has been showing me a lot of interest |
t3_3yiphz | tifu | TIFU by playing a game of cards and almost got shot | This happened last year, but after recent events jogged my memory.
My gf and I were playing the card game Egyptian ratscrew. It's similar to war, but if two cards of the same face land, the quickest person to slap them wins the pile. This was the first time my gf had played and was getting overly excited. She kept screaming each time we would go into slap (she kept losing). About 20 mins in there was a large knocking at my door. I go to answer it, but first look outside the window. There are two Chicago cops, with guns drawn. After I answered the door, one cop kept his gun raised up but the other cop points his gun at me. Immediately they asked me who was screaming. I said my gf but we were just playing a card game. Thankfully my gf came to the door right away. They asked if she was ok. She confirmed we were just playing cards. The two cops let out a frustrated sigh and holstered their guns. We haven't played that game since. | GF and I played card game where she kept screaming . Anxious cops came to my door. |
t3_om39g | AskReddit | Do you have reoccurring dreams? How often? And What happens in them? | I Hadn't had one of mine in quite some time until last night. It usually goes about the same every time: It starts with me being alone in a large, fancy looking airport. I have no instructions or guidance, but I know whats going on. I'm not sure if I'm in a parallel universe or a mirror dimension or if everyone has simply vanished, but I have to 'Pick' people from my memory and bring them back to repopulate and start over with the world. It starts out slow, having to explain the situation to the people I have picked first, but soon I am surrounded by all the people I care about and haven't seen in years. It truly is a great feeling. I always wake up from this dream feeling happy and warm, and I think it is wonderful to be able to reconnect with these people from my past, even if it is just in my dreams. | Entire world population vanished, I have to select the new crowd of people to restart. |
t3_28mi1n | relationships | I [18f] have a crush on my non single coworker [24m] not sure if feelings are mutual? | Sorry in advance first time poster
So my coworker and I have been good friends but lately he's been acting a bit different. Now I knew him and his girlfriend would fight a lot but I didn't know just how bad it was till he would come into work complaining about her. Anyways we got to talking and I said something about how most guys aren't interested or are taken and he started talking about how even if a guy is taken I should tell him i'm interested and "take what I want". He has also been a bit more "flirty" towards me than usual. Im not sure if this is hinting towards anything or if i'm just over analyzing all of this. I just need some advice, feel free to ask me anything I left out | crush on coworker, think feeling could be mutual? |
t3_3ggs26 | relationships | Me [26 M] my fathers [58 M/F] mother died. How do I help him? | Sorry if this is a completely wrong place to ask this.
My fathers mother recently got ill so he hopped on a plane and went to europe to see her. She died a few days ago. I wasn't close to my grandmother, not to sound like an asshole, so I won't really grieve her death. But I don't know how to talk to my father about it. We are on opposite sides of the world so the only way to talk is through skype.
Do I acknowledge her death (I found out through my mother yesterday) when I talk to him? It's a bit more awkward cause within my family we don't speak English and I speak our language well enough but not completely fluently. So I'm not sure how to even talk about more politely. | My fathers mother died. I wasn't close to her. How can I help my father when he's on another continent? How do I talk with him about this? Also I've never had to deal with death so far in my life. |
t3_4btal7 | relationships | I [19M] have had an on/off relationship with my now ex [18F] girlfriend but I still like her. | I started dating my ex girlfriend back in September of 2014. Everything was smooth and fantastic for the first few months but that is when it started to get rocky.
She was very insecure of herself and she was recovering from depression. Jealousy came with the insecurity and it became a problem due to the fact that she would think that girls liked me even if they just liked a profile picture on social media and so on.
We split up a few times not because I disliked her or I wanted to but because it all got a bit too much, it was very stressful and I didn't know what to do.
But even through all of that, she always did the very best she could for me, looked after me well, we understood each other and cared for each other like nothing I've ever experienced before.
As I previously stated I'm not longer with her and I stopped talking to her for a couple of months in an attempt to move on and I started talking to another girl, everything was going great.
But something just doesn't feel right, I know it hasn't exactly been that long but the break up didn't really affect me since we are still friendly towards each other.
I live in the UK and we are both starting different universities in September but they are only a couple of hours away from each other. Even through all of this, I know that I still love her and I would do anything for things to work but it's just so complicated I don't know what to do in this situation... | On and off with girlfriend for over a year and a half, things like jealousy and insecurity got in the way even though it was a fantastic relationship, feel like I still want to be with her. |
t3_yf1ug | AskReddit | Hey reddit, I'm thinking about joining a nearby VFD. Any thoughts on how worthwhile it is? | My cousin has been a firefighter for years up north, and I've always wanted to be one for at least a little while (there are many jobs I'd like to have for a year or so). As a poor 20 year old, I'm just not sure if now is a great time to volunteer at one or not, and I'm curious as to how much former volunteers value their time spent at the fire house.
I have achieved the rank of Eagle Scout, I have completed a Tough Mudder and will be running my second next month, and I've been a student ambassador via P2P to NZ and Australia. Since those three things have had profound impacts on my life and I place immense value on the memories, I'm curious as to how being a volunteer EMS/Fire fighter (unsure which I'd go for) would stack up. | Opinion on time spent as a volunteer EMS/Fire fighter? |
t3_4heohr | relationships | Breakups: She [21F] broke up with me [21M] and is seeing someone new a week later. | We were high school sweet hearts, just about to graduate college. We've been long distance for awhile and had our ups and downs. After our last "down", she told me she was done asking for breaks (she wouldn't see anyone on these breaks, just time not talking for about a week). We were graduating, and moving on to real life. I'm starting medical school in a few months and was just offered a scholarship from the Navy (ecstatic about this), and she is looking to get a job in fashion.
Fast forward a few months. I'm up to visit her at school and she tells me she wants another break and needs space. I'm upset, but she's always been worth it so I said it was fine. This time it was different- she posted a picture with some other guy id never met and said she wanted to break up for real.
She deleted every picture taken of us and is now seeing this guy regularly. She even told me she slept with him. I've never been with anybody else other than her. She insisted that we couldn't be friends because it would bother this other guy seeing my name on her phone. I'm all kinds of hurt, I was blind sided. When I spoke with her earlier today she made it seem like she had no time for me, like I was a thing of the past.
Do I forget her? Block her out of my life? I don't even know how to do that, it's been us since 2012. I apologize if this is dramatic or sappy. I feel like I lost my best friend and she wants nothing to do with me. | Dating four years, she broke up with me, deleted me from her life, and replaced me. |
t3_jxm9y | AskReddit | Reddit, When's the last time you cried about something that wasn't death or injury related? I'll start | When I was 14 the girl of my dreams went out with the most liked guy in school. I was broken and thought of every possible way to win her over. Me being a young fool, I got the exact same haircut as the guy in a pathetic attempt to win her over. well that didn't work to well. During lunch, my "buddy" that knew I had a crush on the girl, put two and two together. He starts laughing and runs over to her and tells her everything. I'm watching from a distance, she turns to me and starts laughing hysterically. My heart fell to my fuckin' toes. my eyes immediately start to water, I pretend to yawn and casually walk out of the cafeteria until I reach the washroom and cry like a fucktard. | I got the same haircut as the guy that got the girl to win the girl over. she found out, she laughed, I cried. Fin. |
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