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t3_2x364q | relationships | My (25F) new SO's (31M) previous relationship lasted 8 years. I'm feeling insecure. | Ben and I have been dating since December and we became an official couple in the middle of January, so this is still a very new relationship. He's a great guy and I am already falling for him. He's sweet, funny, kind to everyone and just a genuinely good person.
My longest relationship lasted for a little over a year and my two relationships after that only lasted 5 months each. I had a bad habit of dating men who had no plans of staying where I lived. Because of this, I don't know what it feels like to be with someone for a very long time.
I learned last night that Ben was with his previous girlfriend for 8 years. They moved to another state together and she used to live with him in his current apartment. I asked him how long ago they broke up and he said a year and a half. I jokingly asked if I'm some kind of rebound, but he quickly said no. He told me he dated a lot of girls since the breakup, but I've been the longest because it's different with me, that I'm special.
I didn't feel like it was my business to ask for more details about why they broke up, but it is making me crazy. I went through a massive betrayal a few years back (my good friend raped me and I was abandoned by our mutual friends) and I have been very guarded with my heart since then, but I am finding myself feeling quite vulnerable now. I have been open with him about my assault because it affects our sex life, but I don't think my openness entitles me to the details of his past. However, I am afraid of getting too involved now because 8 years is such a significant amount of time and I'm feeling threatened, even though he hasn't given me any reason to feel this way.
I know this is entirely my issue and I do not want to spoil things because of my own insecurities, so I would appreciate any advice on how to handle asking for more information or keeping my thoughts in line. Has anyone been on either side of this relationship scenario, either having dated after a particularly long relationship or dated someone who had been in one? I would greatly appreciate some insight. | He was with her for 8 years. How can I possibly compare? |
t3_2u7wtc | relationships | I [22 M] don't know how to deal with my girlfriend's (of 4 months) [21 F] "gay"-like best-friend taking a lot of her attention when we go out together. | My girlfriend and her friend [ 22 M] are very close. Brother/sister close. "Gay best friend" close. (I hate to use the term because he is not gay, but its the only way to describe it) Messaging nearly very day. Phone calls. Gossiping. But from her perspective purely platonic. And I don't mind at all. They are best friends.
**This is where I need advice/help**
The two of them always used to always "pal around" together on nights out before me and her got together. This is starting to creep into our nights now when we are out drinking or clubbing together.
He is with her a lot. It feels like he is almost competing for her attention with me. (Competing is a strong word but you can understand what I mean). I like to think I m an easy going guy and I don't mind it that much. They are friends. I don't see him as a threat to our relationship. And she wants to talk to him.
But recently it has been difficult to take.
My intention of going out is to spend time with her and have a good time with her. But when she completely is focused on other things, it can be difficult. I have said it to her before that I felt ignored a few nights in the past.
But I don't want to tell her what to do. I don't want to tell the friend what to do. (I am good friends with him...this is how I met her) I don't want to be "possessive". I don't want to impact their relationship for my own selfish reasons. I want her to be happy (and him). I want her to talk to her friends and to talk to me because she wants to.
I just want some advice about how to deal with it. Just some guidance on how to approach the "gay best friend" type situation from people who may have experienced this before (or from anyone!). | Our mutual friend is taking up **a lot** of her attention when we go out on nights together. Need some advice on how to approach the "gay best friend" type situation. |
t3_3w7dua | relationships | I think I'm [22/F] acting too much like I'm entitled to my [25/M] partner of 6 months | I've known him for way longer, but I moved in 2 months ago, and our relationship has been pretty rock solid since. He helped me to gain confidence in myself and my appearance after a long time of feeling like shit about my body. And honestly, if it weren't for me, I don't think there'd be any problems in this relationship.
More recently, my boyfriend has been a little sex repulsed, his body's been really weird and hormonal so he just can't get into the mood at all. I'm raring at the same speed I used to though, and it really made me feel insecure about how much I try to engage him sexually. It seems like every other kiss I'm trying to get his pants off, or sticking my hand down them. I never noticed it before because beforehand, we would just fuck, but now he just gives me looks and I feel awful because it's the third time I've done it in an hour.
I had never even realized I was this incorrigible. I've actually brought this up and apologized to him, but he said "it's fine" and "if I wasn't feeling so weird I'd be all for it" but I still feel kind of off about it. Am I objectifying my boyfriend too much? Am I acting too entitled to his body? | boyfriend is sex repulsed, I realized how much I try to initiate sex, I feel manipulative and entitled, is this a natural response? |
t3_3tnsb7 | tifu | TIFU by getting really high and watching the Adele video on the front page | Unlike most of the posts found here, this actually happened like 20 minutes ago. Occasionally, when I've got nothing at all productive to do, I enjoy smoking a little herb.
Being that tonight is a friday evening, and I decided to stay in, I thought I may as well chief some ganj. For a little perspective, I have, and have always had, a very low tolerance for weed. Even if I only smoke a battie or two, I get higher than a giraffe's ass.
Fast-forward to twenty minutes ago, when I am sitting in front of my computer browsing Reddit. I decide to watch the Adele video on the front page, and being stoned and excitable, crank the volume. When I am high, I often get super lost in my head. For an unknown reason, after Adele finished singing, and the girls in the audience began clapping, I began clapping myself. I did this completely subconsciously. As I suddenly realize that I am clapping, home alone, at a computer screen, a chorus of laughter erupts.
My roommates, who decided to go out that night, had arrived home, unbeknownst to me (didn't hear them come home due to the cranked volume), to find me, a 26 year old straight male, listening to and subsequently applauding to a computer screen of Adele singing.
My roommates now probably think that I regularly give a round of applause to YouTube videos. | Got stoned, clapped at my computer screen while watching Adele video, roommates question my sanity. |
t3_2qm8j4 | relationships | Me [20M] with my GF [20F], dating for 3 years. We broke up 2 days ago. Now she wants to come over and talk but won't promise we will get back together. | I really want to get back together with her. So does anyone have any idea what she is thinking? And advice for things to say? I always fear for the worse and im scared she will say "I've fallen out of love with you or there is no chance to get back together". But I thi k because she said "I cant promise we will get back together but i want to talk" means there is a chance? So...help? | broke up with gf 2 days ago. Now she wants to talk. Need advice. |
t3_21sbdh | personalfinance | 27 and I feel like I don't have enough time. Advice needed. | Hi r/personalfinance. I'll try to keep this post as brief as possible, but I really need some advice on what to do. I'll list out my figures and then ask my question.
Debt:
Student loans: $117k (mix of federal subsidized and unsubsidized)
Credit cards: $600
Car loan: $700 ($93.56 per month)
Bills:
Rent: $530 (my husband pays the other $300)
Internet/Local Channels: $75
Heat/Electric: Average $120
Gas: $160
Groceries/Eating out: According to my mint, I average around $389 per month in this category.
Bank balances:
$6900 in my primary checking
$879 in my joint checking (used to pay rent and cable)
$2400 in savings
Income:
After taxes and a 2% 401k contribution (that's not matched because my company sucks), I am taking home around $2400 per month. I just got a promotion so that should go up to about $2600 per month with quarterly bonuses of $2000.
Other information:
My student loans are in deferment as I've been taking two community college classes per semester, but I'm tired of staying in school. I filed for an IBR (not eligible for the pay-as-you-go plans), but I've yet to hear back what my monthly amount would be. My husband's income is about $1500 per month and he takes care of his credit card debt, our car insurance, and our cell phone plan. His student loans are also in deferment for the time-being. However, his situation is far more dire. He lives paycheck to paycheck and my savings effectively acts as a safety net for the both of us.
Job-wise, we're both in the IT field, but he's just starting and I've only been in the field for about two years. I feel like I can't stay at a job for longer than six-months to a year because of my student loan debt and it's starting to freak me out. I'm just not sure what to do anymore. | I start a new job tomorrow that makes $41k base with $8k in quarterly bonuses, but I have $117k in student loan debt that's in deferment. I want to start paying on them, but my husband barely makes enough to cover his expenses. I'm worried my paltry emergency fund will just dry up. Any advice? |
t3_49rlb2 | relationships | Me [20M] with my girlfriend [21F] doesn't accept compliments well. | Am I wrong/crazy here? I have no idea but here's the situation:
Anytime I compliment her she needs an explanation. Like tonight, because I was being a bit of a dick earlier (been under a lot of stress, etc.), I thanked her for putting up with me, that she was great, etc. As soon as I said this she got all defensive and eventually we ended up in an argument.
This isn't a one time thing either, she needs this in-depth explanation every time I try to compliment her and I just find it super frustrating (and I've told her this) because I feel as though she doesn't trust me enough to just take my words at face value and think that I mean them and I have no idea why she's doing that. I've never lied to her to make her lose trust in me or anything like that. Her main point in all of her arguments is that she doesn't trust what I say unless she gets an explanation/details and feels as though I'm just saying whatever without any reasons.
I would really appreciate some advice. | Girlfriend can't take a compliment. |
t3_19yiqx | relationships | Is it weird that I [19m] love cuddling with my best friend [19f] but don't want to date her or anything? | I really wish I liked her, and I have my moments where I'm like, "We should get married..." but for the most part, shes a total friend to me. But when she comes over, we sit on the couch and go on reddit/Internet for a while and kind of cuddle. I jokingly touch her breasts and butt, and she doesnt seem to care - she just laughs. I love that, but really don't want anything more in terms of romantic relationship. We've known each other for the past 3 years and best friends since September last year (besides my best guy friend). Thoughts? | Horny teenage guy likes touching best-friend-girl. Quasi-friends with benefits. |
t3_4vg31x | relationships | Me [23F] with my [22 M] boyfriend of 1.5 years am annoyed by how much time he spends with his female friend [21F] | My boyfriend has many friends including female friends. I'm okay with all of them expect for one. One of his friends, let's call her Janet, has been passively aggressively rude to me since the moment I met her. She'll humble brag constantly about having gone to a better school than me, about how she makes more money than me, about how's she's so skinny. I try being nice to her because she's good friends with my boyfriend but it's just so hard. She's not pleasant to be around. She has a high pitched fake little girl voice that a lot of women have that just makes her seem so not genuine.
My boyfriend introduced me to Janet 6 months into our relationship because she had moved back to town. At first the three of us would hang out together. But lately they've been starting to spend a lot of time together without including me, or they'll invite me after they've already made plans...as an after thought. I'm okay with my boyfriend wanting to spend time with his friends not always with me. That's healthy and normal, but I do not trust this girl. She has hooked up with multiple guys in my boyfriend's group of friends while drunk in the past. I just don't feel comfortable with them going out together without me, and I don't know how to handle this. | My boyfriend has a female friend who he spends a lot of time with, without me. Am I crazy for being upset or is it normal for a "taken" guy to have single lady friends? |
t3_2jox44 | loseit | You'd think from my flair I'd be happy but.... | About 8 years ago, after a lifetime of being overweight (chubby kid, increasingly heavy, highest at 280 after I had my 2nd kid), something finally clicked (yeah... clicked, and I was getting divorced - so "yay stress"), and I got my weight down from 225 to somewhere that floated between 155 and 160. I hit 148 for about 30 seconds, but the effort in staying there was just too much. For the first time in my life I started to comprehend hunger and satiety. I was exercising pretty regularly and had developed some muscle tone.
Fast forward about 8 years. I'm happily remarried to a great guy. I'm a really great cook and baker, so my friends are all amused that I'm married to a very very fussy eater, but it works to my advantage. I entertain and get my cooking "exercise" then, but on a day to day basis, food is not so important. But, my weight has now crept up to about 173, and I'm so busy in a new and different life (which now includes about 1 1/2 hours a day of commuting - never had to do that before), that I ~~can't~~ don't find the time to exercise.
I've restarted using a food journal about 100 times, and sworn I'll drink less (when I open a bottle of wine, it's gone in either one or two nights), but I can't seem to find the push I need to take off the *ugh* nearly 15 pound gain. | help - my weight is creeping back up! |
t3_1pvsdu | loseit | Something cheap and healthy too eat? | Hey,
I'm trying to lose weight and I know that a big part is your diet. I am young, live with my parents and there's no way for me to get any 'special treatment' and get other food than the rest, all the food that is served here is extremely unhealthy. Pizza, almost everyday deepfried stuff, fries...
I'm looking for somethat that I could get myself too eat and lose weight (I also excercise but it's hard to lose weight with the food I have to eat), as cheap and easy as possible.
If you tell me I can live on crackers for months and lose a lot of weight, I'll do it, I like crackers. If you tell me I can live on x amount of sandwiches with x on it, also fine. | Something cheap and easy to eat and lose weight. Even if it's crackers.. |
t3_2pnpbs | tifu | TIFU by asking my dad about the dishes... | This is a throwaway because I stupidly made part of my name be part of my username. (Although I like this name, I may keep it)
Anyway, this fuck up happened just a few minutes ago.
I was doing my homework earlier, finishing up some stuff for finals week, when my dad asked me to do the dishes. So I finished up the homework and did the dishes. Our dishwasher is a weird kind where you have to connect a hose to the sink faucet and turn on the water for it to run. You then have to turn off the water once the dishes are done. Well it's about midnight, and I don't want to wait another hour before to turn off the water going to bed; it's finals week, I've already lost enough sleep.
So I go upstairs to my parent's room to ask my dad if he will still be awake in about an hour to turn off the water.
When I get to their room, the door is shut. This is normal, they usually watch TV at night and close the door so they don't disturb anyone.
I get to the door and don't hear any noise at all, I figured, oh well, they probably just have it turned down.
I knock on the door and hear no response. This is odd. I very very slowly begin to open the door. Then to my horror, through the small crack in the door I have made, I see my dad naked, on top of my mom having sex.
Oh shit.
I close the door and knock loudly this time and hear a "just a second!" From my dad as they cover up.
I asked him my question, trying as hard as possible not to let on that I saw them. He responds, and then I leave with my eyes burning. | I did the dishes, went to ask my dad a question, and walked in on my parents going at it. |
t3_ln852 | AskReddit | Whats the protocol for hiring a maid to do a 1-time clean? | I need my place deep cleaned. I've lived here for 3.5 years now and done a mediocre job of ensuring the place is clean. I think my basement/mancave, while dusty but clean, is starting to get a slight smell to it. I can't have that shit.
Anyway, I just want to hire out the dusting, vacuuming and the rest of the gritty detail work. I know you are supposed to pick up all the shit that's lying around. Is there anything else that is expected of you as the person paying for the cleaning? Has anyone else used a maid type service before? | I'm trying to be a job creator. |
t3_25w6hi | relationships | Me [22 F] with my SO [21 M/F] of 2 years, and I've been thinking about cheating. This is so confusing. | I started dating my SO 2 years ago when I started college. We got along great, and I was really into him, and ended up giving him my virginity pretty early on. He was the first and only guy I've been with.
The summer after we started dating, we started having problems. He was absolutely terrible at communicating, and was flirting with other girls. I was really lonely and started an emotional relationship with someone else. My boyfriend never found out about this, but I was seeking emotional fulfillment when he wouldn't give it to me.
Eventually, we moved in together and the communication issues stopped. My boyfriend is caring, affectionate and I'm incredibly attracted to him. I'm in love with him and he is with me.
Now though, I'm starting to feel different. I had to move for work, and have been considering pursuing another physical relationship. I don't know what to do because I love my boyfriend so much, but I've only ever been with him. He's been with a LOT of other girls and that's always bothered me. I know I would feel so guilty if I went through with it, but it's been in the back of my mind for a while now. I'm not asking if I should cheat on my boyfriend. I know that it's wrong, and I wouldn't want to hurt him. But should I tell him how I feel or should I just keep it bottled up? Would breaking up be better for both of us? | I'm in love with my boyfriend, but I've been having thoughts about stirring up an old flame because I've never had sex with anyone else. |
t3_541ntp | relationships | Me [27 M] with my GF [27F] of 5 years. Pictures of her ex bf around at her parents house. | My GF's parents have a bunch of family pictures above the fireplace. These are From momentous occassions such as graduations, birthdays, and stuff like that. But i noticed a few weeks ago that there is one picture of her from her high school prom with her ex bf of 5 years.
guess she was hoping i wouldnt realize because its kind of awkward lol. Is it a normal thing for parents to keep pictures like that up?
Its just really weird seeing that every day.
My grandparents never had pictures of my parents with their exes up..which makes me think that it is not a "normal" thing??
I dont know... it kind of feels like a subtle, even if unintentional snub? Am i weird for being weirded out by this? How would i even address something like this?
More details i forgot: her parents are otherwise great. They treat me very well. Also theres a billion pictures of me with my gf plastered all over their house.. | GFs parents have picture on fireplace of my GF with highschool/college BF at prom. I feel weird seeing it every day but this is my first serious relationship and i dont know if this is just a normal sort of thing parents do |
t3_2y276g | weddingplanning | Ideas please! Bridesmaid (me) trying to find alternative party ideas | My friend is getting married in April, and the Maid of Honor just had a nervous breakdown (seriously) so the party- and event-planning has fallen to me. We intended to have a wedding shower for the bride last weekend, but got snowed out. Every weekend from here until the wedding is already booked with some kind of wedding-related event, so we can't reschedule our wedding shower until after the wedding. Which makes no sense. DAMN.
Because the bride and groom are having a "personal" shower (a party where the gifts are meant to be for the honeymoon and, erm, adult fun times), they really aren't going to get an event geared for their new home together. Sooo I thought - since the event will have to be after the wedding, why not throw them a housewarming party, or a sort of "registry wrap-up" event? Guests can meet the couple in their new home and gifts would be items that the newlyweds had on their gift registry but did not receive as wedding presents.
Does this idea sound completely lame or inappropriate? Do you have suggestions or ideas on how to go about hosting this event? | A housewarming / registry wrap-up event instead of a wedding shower: yea or nay? |
t3_29a2zg | relationships | Is it possible for me [23 M] to get my best friend back [22F] after we dated for 2.5 years, 4 years ago? | Okay just to summarize, my ex-gf "Elise" and I were best friends for about 5 years before we dated which would be through all of high school. We would do everything together, text a lot and in general have a great time. I did not like her as anything more until my senior year when we finally realized that we were a great pair and that we should try being something more. We then dated for 2.5 years and had one of the best relationships of my life. I won't go into detail because I think it's irrelevant for this post but when we went to separate colleges we began to grow apart and finally broke up. We got back together for a few months afterwards but eventually broke up for good. About six months later (with no contact) I asked if we could still be friends because I missed her friendship and genuinely wanted to be her friend again. She told me that she did not want to talk anymore. I didn't press the issue and to this day I regret it because I really miss her friendship.
Now, I have a wonderful relationship and I'm planning on proposing to my current gf very soon.
The thing is, I don't really have a best friend and I have never really let anyone take the position. Is this odd or is it that as we get older we don't generally do that sort of stuff?
I want her as a friend again and I am basically asking your guys' opinion whether I should just let it go and abandon all hope (even though I have very little in the first place) or what I should do.
I appreciate your responses in advance. | my ex gf/ex best friend and I haven't spoken in 4 years and I really miss her FRIENDSHIP and want nothing more than that. Is there anything I can do or is all hope lost? |
t3_2ggkoq | loseit | Cheese - I will conquer you | My guilty pleasure has ALWAYS been carb-filled foods. I LOVE me some cheese, and a block away from me there is THE best mac and cheese fries in the WORLD.
I also love pastas and breads - it's what I grew up on. I definitely have yo-yo-ed a bit with my weight the past 5 years or so - my main struggle has been getting into a pattern/ rhythm.
At any rate- I have not had ANY cheese, pasta, or breads AT ALL in the past 3 weeks. It is definitely an uphill battle, but it makes me happy everytime I am like 'I couldddd get a slice of pizza' but then go home and eat a salad instead :)
Every little victory counts, and so far they have added up to 13 pounds <3 | I haven't had cheese in three weeks. |
t3_3gy510 | relationships | [M,20] Going to university, SO [F,19] can't stand being alone for a "longer" time | Hi Reddit! :)
My girlfriend and I are a wonderful couple, though we are in a relation for just 6 months we both think that it will last a long time. The problem is, I am going to attend a university in our capital city (120km/75 miles) away and thus living in a small flat because I don't want to travel 4 hours ever day by train. She is a rather introvert person with few to no friends and can't stand it when she's alone for more than 2-3 days.
We both think that this will affect our relationship in a very negative way and we need your advice.
Thank you very much! | Studying kinda far away, girlfriend not happy |
t3_2udjov | relationship_advice | 22/m me trying to make a girl 21/f communicate with me again | Back story: About 10 month ago (around may) I met a girl during my summer part time job, and the moment I saw her I fell in love, so I decide to go for it. Everything went well, we texted almost everyday (though I'm the one texting first 98% of the time), and eventually went on our first date (we end up at her house, me hugging her watching some TV show). But then came July, I have to leave Canada to attend my big sister's wedding in Taiwan and somehow got a full year internship from my father's friend so I have to stay in Taiwan until 2015,7/31. We still text with each other while I was in Taiwan, but she seems less and less enthusiastic about it as time pass by. I was so afraid that one day she will not respond to me at all I panicked. I start to think of any random things possible to text her and get her response. Things deteriorates (no argument between us, just me texting and she responding less and less), and in October after getting no response, I decided to stop, cause I don't want to become one of those maniacs sending text 24/7 to harass her. After a month and a half, we communicated again but she is not very enthusiastic, mostly responding with single words. Things maintained like this until two weeks ago, she is not responding again.
Additional Info: I'm coming back to Canada this Feb 17 for a short while to celebrate Chinese new year. Should I try to find her? | Met girl, things went well, out of country for one year, things went bad, help |
t3_2paaif | relationships | Me [22/M] with my roommate [22/M], Bothered by how often his girlfriend [22/F] is around the house | Hi /r/relationships! Long time lurker, first time poster. Have an issue that I hope you can help solve.
I attend university and live in an off campus house with 3 roommates. This is our second year living together and everything is pretty smooth for the most part. Except for one thing: I feel like one of my roommate's [I'll call him Dave for anonymity purposes] girlfriend is around our house way too often and it bothers me a lot.
Dave's girlfriend spends the night at our house probably four or five times per week on average. Sometimes more, rarely less. She lives in the same neighborhood as us just down a couple houses down the road, but usually ends up spending most of her time here. I wouldn't have as much of problem (at least, I think I wouldn't) with it if she weren't so loud. She has a pretty loud and obnoxius laugh that can be heard distinctly even if you're in your own room with your door closed. She also tends to squeal and yell a lot in a high pitched fashion. I've told my roommate about how loud she frequently is and that usually helps for that day. Unfortunately, the behavior always returns. It's gotten to the point that when her car pulls up to the front of the house, me and my other two roommates slowly start making our way to our respective rooms to get away from her. When I come home, I check the front of the house to see if her car is here.
I've talked to my other two roommates about the 3rd and they've agreed with me about how annoying her being constantly around is, but none of us have really been able to come up with a solution that is non-confrontational, but effective. What can possibly be done about the situation so that hurt feelings are minimalized? | Roommate's gf around too much. What can we do change this? |
t3_4q4oxe | relationships | I [20F] have been out once with [24M] and it was fantastic, he still seems to show interest but he hasn't asked me out again? | We went out on a fantastic first date and spent hours with each other, he texted me minutes after he arrived home telling me that he had a great time. After almost two weeks of not being asked out again, I decided to ask him out on a date. He seemed super excited and we made plans, but he ended up cancelling last minute because of work which in his field seems super believeable. I told him after this he would have to decide when we go out next and he seemed more than happy about it, it's been almost a week after that and I'm not sure what to think.
We still text every day since we met, for hours on end; and that to me says interest but he still hasn't asked me out after the first date. Am I wasting my time by waiting for this to happen? | I was asked out once by a great guy but it's been weeks since, I asked him out once after but he had to cancel hours before because of work. We still talk everyday but I'm unsure if I'm wasting my time.* |
t3_zdl99 | AskReddit | Today I gave someone a lap dance for a grade. What sorts of crazy things have you done in classes? | I guess this needs some background. I'm taking an advanced speech class just to fill a slot for my senior year. The class itself is more of a party with some communication lessons. Today our teacher decided to do some improv situations. The group I was with got the following. "You and some buddies are headed to a topless bar for someone's 18th birthday. When you get inside you recognize one of your teachers.
I ended up being the stripper, and called one of my friends to come sit in a chair at the front. While waiting for my partners to play out the scene, I got a tad carried away and went full on lap dance. By the time we stopped our entire class was falling out of their seats. It was probably a horrible decision, but I don't really care. | It's guy love between two guys. |
t3_1z6yry | relationships | I [19/F] am not affectionate with my boyfriend [20/M] of 3 years but truly want to be. | Over the past 6-8 months my boyfriend has been having frequent conversations (once every 2 months or so) with me regarding how I am not affectionate. He always hugs, kisses, and holds me randomly. And he has a higher sex drive than me. I am truly appreciative of what he does and I desperately want to do the same back.
Recently he woke me up at 4am telling me how he feels our relationship is sometimes fake because there is no affection. And that he would think a relationship would at least have affection. I agree with him. He said how he feels we are just roommates and that me not touching him makes him feel like there is something wrong with him. I feel horrible even thinking if I were in his position.
I truly don't know 100% why I am not, I can only think about some issues that are currently going on that could cause this. I do not want to make excuses but things weren't always like this.
The biggest issue we think that could be causing my non-existent affection + libido is my birth control. Before getting together with him, I had a huge sex drive and wanted to be really affectionate. When I did get with him, I was on the patch for 6 months and was fine. Then I switched to BC and things went downhill from there. He got really frustrated and wants me to go off BC and just use condoms but that is worrisome because of the failure rate. The other issue would be the tremendous amount of stress of being in nursing school. I come home tired all the time and on my days off just study. We never get to do anything together.
However, since the conversation 2 days ago I have been trying more. I notice a huge difference of a feeling of closeness with him from just hugging, kissing and holding him more. We also went out on a date during this period so there was no stress. | I haven't really been affectionate with my bf for a while now. Past 6-8 months we've have frequent (once every 2 months) conversations about how I don't really touch, hold, kiss him like he does to me. It's really affecting us because he feels something is wrong with him and I truly want to change. We think the problem could be the stress of school since I am in nursing and my birth control. We want to go off bc and just use condoms starting next month but the failure rate is higher. However, the past 2 days since our last conversation I have tried harder and felt a huge difference of closeness. |
t3_zfftk | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, how do you get back at people who cause everyday annoyances? | I hate it when people stand right in the front and center of the elevator doors and don't move when people are trying to get out. So when the elevator stops at my floor, my shoulder "accidentally" bumps into them as I get out, forcing them to lose their balance in a crowded elevator.
Another thing I despise is when they stand so close in front of the elevator panel even when there's lots of space, making it difficult for the others to choose their floor. What I do then is get really close to them to push the button for my floor, getting my hand and arm uncomfortably close to their faces (or breasts if it's a hot girl). | my office building seems to be filled with people who apparently never learned elevator etiquette and I'm a passive aggressive asshole. |
t3_259elm | relationships | My [30f] brother [45m] that was given up for adoption wants to meet with us siblings, but not our mom. | My mom got pregnant and had a baby with my father when she was 16. This was back in the 60s, she was sent away to a home for unwed mothers then forced to give her baby up for adoption. She and my father ended up marrying a few years later and went on to have 5 more children.
My mother is a very strong woman that has endured a LOT. But the one thing she's never been able to get passed is being forced to give up her first baby.
My siblings and I have all met this older brother, but my mom has not. At one point about 20 years ago he and my parents got in contact and would call/send mail pretty regularly but apparently it got to be too much for my brother to handle so he cut contact. He got in touch with my siblings and I about 10 years ago and we all met up and got together. He made it clear he didn't want to meet my mother so she didn't come. Later she admitted to us that it was one of the hardest nights of her life and she spent several hours crying.
Since then she has said that she regretted that she didn't just show up uninvited. She's also said that if we ever see him again she WILL show up. Now, he's contacted my older sister and told her that he wants us siblings to all get together again.
Now we don't now what to do. I know at least my sister and I won't meet up with him behind our mothers back. But do we tell him what our mom said and risk not seeing him, and not giving her the chance to ever meet him? Or do we agree to meet him, say nothing and let our mom come unannounced? I'd like to ask him if he would be ok with it but I'm afraid he would say no and not only would we not get to see him again but my mom never in her life get the chance to meet him. I have a son myself and I can't even begin to imagine being forced to give him up and never again see him in my life. | Mom was forced to give my oldest brother up for adoption. He has said he doesn't want to meet our mother in the past but she's desperate to meet him. Now he wants to meet up with us siblings. Help? |
t3_3alckf | relationships | [M24] trapped by [F21] | Hello /r/relationships,
I have been dating my gf for almost 4 years and for the past 6 month we've lived together. We've gotten into many a fight and argument and we've resolved it in the end. But recently on my birthday we got into a pretty large fight. And she got pretty scary (I.e. throwing stuff, breaking stuff also to top it off she's a cutter).
So now I want to leave, but feel like I can't. I'm afraid she will harm herself or break my stuff (main concern is my computer since I need it for work). Also the place we rent is being sold and I'm afraid if I leave she will end up homeless as her ultra religious family disowned her and I can't help feel guilty should this happen.
Additionally she despises my family. And wants me to cut all ties with them. The times she met them she never felt welcomed and feels like they despise her. And she is floored by the fact that I'm still somewhat close to them despite the fact they do not support me financially.
I feel utterly trapped. I don't know what to do or how to go about leaving. I need help. | gf is an abusive cutting pyscho feel trapped and can't leave. |
t3_4v6f4h | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [22M] of 2 years, doesn't want to break up or fix our relationship | Earlier this year, I had a lapse in judgment and cheated on my boyfriend. Alcohol was involved, but I know its still completely my fault. I haven't tried to shift blame and I came forward with it the next day.
The problem is that for the past 4 months my boyfriend has just been sulking around in self-pity. I understand that he absolutely does not have to forgive me or stay in a relationship with me, but he doesn't seem to want to do much of anything. He won't go to counseling with me and changes the topic whenever I want to talk things through, but he also doesn't want to break up.
His grades suffered at the end of the last semester and he's been written up at work twice in the past few months and I'm afraid he'll lose his job. I've asked him repeatedly if breaking up is the best decision but he always tells me no.
I don't know what to do. His life is falling apart and he doesn't want to fix or ditch the relationship. I love him dearly but it hurts to see him like this. What can I do? | Boyfriend refuses to break up or reconcile after I cheated; it's been months and he just sucks around |
t3_34fq8a | relationships | Me [30 M] with my nearly ex girlfriend [31 F] 10 years, breaking up in an hour, need a bit of advice or encouragement. | I did try to post this on askmen, but seems I'm too new.
I live with my girlfriend of 10 years. I want out. The relationship has gone bad for various reasons (no intimacy, total lack of respect). I tried a few times in the last year to get out but she always bought me back in with extremely temporary make-up sex or convincing me she could do better and to give it another go. As our home is jointly mortgaged, I gave in.
This time, I'm done. We had sex last time in January and I jsut didn't feel right about it. I felt like I was forcing myself and it just will never be the same. After reading deadbedrooms, I just smack myself for staying this long.
But tonight, I mean it. I have a suitcase behind me with some clothes, enough for the weekend, and my folks are expecting me later on. I have no idea if she's expecting it, but she's detected I'm very distant from her recently (I wonder why).
The question is, she'll be home in an hour... how do I do this? I have my bag packed specifically because that seems to be the only way to commit to a breakup.
For reference, first and only girlfriend in life (I'm 30), first time breaking up with anyone. | Breaking up in an hour, how to handle it |
t3_1ggfon | relationships | My [24, F] ex [24, M] recently contacted me and now I can't stop thinking about him. I have a bf [25, M, 23 months] | Oh boy, where to begin.
I met this ex 3 years ago on study exchange in Scandinavia. We met randomly at a party, started to hang out and were dating not two weeks later. Our relationship was really intense, but going really well, until the age old problem of exchange student dating reared its ugly head: I was going to leave the country.
We decided to break up (or, more correctly, he decided to break up). We didn't see each other for 8 months, but kept contact, updating each other on our lives but also saying how we missed and still loved each other.
I went back to the country after those 8 months for a summer job. We were really happy to see each other again, and for a while all was well and it was just like before. However, things escalated. My guess is it was because it became really intense again but we were still faced with the difficulties of being together, being from different countries and all.
I did something I am really not proud of when I was drunk and he ended up saying he never wanted to see me again. He apologised later, saying he didn't mean it, but it was a hard lesson for me about my own behavior, I was embarrassed and realised we shouldn't see each other for a while.
Fast forward two years to today, we never saw each other again.
I am now in a relationship of nearly two years with another guy (I met him shortly after I last saw my ex). The relationship is mostly good, but lately we are in a rut and things aren't optimal. We had a talk about breaking up, but decided we would give things another try.
Imagine my surprise when the Ex suddenly contacts me on Facebook. He said he had been thinking about me, started reminiscing about the good old times and ended with telling me he missed me.
Ever since, I cannot get him out of my head. I am turning here for a new perspective on things, remarks, advise, tips, whatever. I think I am starting to convince myself I am actually missing my ex... | Ex contacted me after two years of radio silence. Current relationship is not doing so well, and now I am really confused. |
t3_4soycj | relationships | My [21 M] girlfriend [18 F] won't stop playing Pokémon Go. | My girlfriend [18 F] has been a long time Pokémon fan. She watched it on tv as a child growing up and is very familiar with all the Pokémon things. I [21 M], on the other hand, have never seen an episode, so I don't quite understand how the ball-animals work. I do understand how the virtual reality bit works and how you have to walk around because I played Ingress (another VR game) before for a little bit.
I've noticed that it's started to cause some problems in our relationship. We went to the zoo one weekend when the zoo was having an unlimited ice cream event. After indulging ourselves on way too much ice cream, we started walking around and looking at the animals, which, I admit, neither of us would say is the most enjoyable thing, but we paid for it, so why not. Even though she expressed more interest in observing the animals than I did, she continued to play Pokémon Go. Even when we're at home, she'll say "come outside with me", and I'll join her thinking she just wants to enjoy the outdoors, but really it's just because she couldn't ensnare an alien animal from inside.
I realize that there are a lot of guys who probably dream of having a girlfriend who'd play Pokémon Go with them, I find it a bit annoying. Instead of spending quality time with each other, she has her face in a video game. I'm sure there are a lot of girls who have this struggle with their boyfriends, so if you're one of them, maybe you could help me out. I'm thinking about trying no-phones-on-dates, but aside from that being a safety hazard, I don't think that's a good resolution.
Pokémon Go is taking over my girlfriend's life. She's about to go to college soon and I'm worried that she'll play more with the alien animals than study. She keeps on saying that she "has to be the very best" and I'm not sure if that is a realistic outlook on life, especially if she wants to go into professional gaming as other people are even more addicted than her. | Girlfriend is too preoccupied by capturing invisible alien animals with her phone to look at real animals with me. |
t3_477utl | tifu | TIFU by giving a dude a titty twister | This happened several years ago in college, but the image of the aftermath still haunts me to this day. This was back when titty twisters - that is, grabbing some poor unsuspecting fool's nipple and twisting it - were all the rage. I was prepartying at a buddy's house when his really good friend came over. We had all hung out several times before and rough-housing was all-too common. That being said, I did not know this guy *THAT* well. So he comes over to say hello and my drunken self thinks a good ole' fashioned titty twister is in order. With the reflexes of a coiled mongoose and the accuracy of a special forces sniper I shoot my hand to his nip and twist with the torque of a 600 horsepower engine. The blood curdling howl that this man emitted made me instantly regret my decision and question my own mortality.
Apparently this dude had just gotten his *NIPPLES PIERCED* earlier that day and my over-exuberant twister had *TORN THE NIPPLE BAR CLEAN OFF!* The horrendous image of blood squirting from his mangled stump of a nip has given me nightmares ever since. After that day I vowed to never again twist another man's nipple. | Accidentally tore a man's nipple off. My bad. |
t3_2d4e0o | tifu | TIFU by washing my car and building a shed. | I've been wanting to wash my car for a while now but i work full time and only have off on the weekends. So today i decided to wash my car. then after i was done i was standing on the walk in front of my house rinsing out my sponge. The walk was getting a bit hot so i thought, i'll just step into my nice cool, soft lawn. I have no idea what i stepped on but it hurt like a motherfucker, and i proceeded to announce it to the whole neighborhood.
I just figured i stepped on a sharp rock because i have a gravel driveway. After a few moments it stopped hurting so i didn't think any of and proceeded to walk around in my muddy gravel driveway. It wasn't until a couple hours ago when it started to hurt, but i figured it may just be my sock sitting funny in my boot. Took my boot off and found out there is a giant hole in my foot.
This reminds me of something that happened when i was around 6, and my father was building a big shed in the back yard. I was helping him tear down the old shed and i saw him stepping on the head of a nail to push it into the wood the rest of the way. I wanted to help and do this too, so i found a piece of wood with a nail sticking out and stepped on the fucker. Forgot the most important part though, and stepped on the pointy part of the nail like a dumbass. It went straight through the sneaker and into my foot. | luckily i have a bone in my foot or i would have two holes in the top of my foot too, instead of just two of the bottom. |
t3_2kwy2c | weddingplanning | not a bridesmaid, but dress I want to wear to sister's wedding is technically a bridesmaid's dress...is that OK? | Sorry if this is not OK to ask here but I figured you guys would be the ones to ask about acceptable attire for a wedding. And obviously the best solution is for me to ask my sister, duh, but we don't get along and I'd really rather not.
I've been having a really hard time finding a dress to wear to my sister's wedding and have looked in loads of stores and online to no avail. Yesterday I went into a bridesmaid dress store and looked at Lula Kate dresses ( You can choose and mix-and-match bodices, waistlines, skirts, fabrics, and colors. The one I'd get would have a v-neck, thick natural waist band, and full short skirt, and I like this shade of green (
I'm worried that it will look like I'm trying to be a bridesmaid and be tacky/faux pas | is wearing a solid color polyester/silk dress at a wedding a bad idea if I'm not a bridesmaid? |
t3_1iuhb7 | relationships | I [23M] Am Trying to Reach Out to My Crush [21F]: How Can I "Suddenly" Start Talking to Her in Order to Build A Relationship? | I've recently made a few posts asking for advice about a girl I'm really into, who I think might be into me as well (I catch her staring, smiling, lots of awkward interactions etc. that strongly suggest the crush may be mutual). We are both university students and we have had a lot of classes in common since we are both in the same area of study.
I struggle with social anxiety, I am an introvert and I don't have the most confident/outgoing personality, and she is also an introvert so, as you can imagine, we don't talk much. A lot of the advice I've been getting on Reddit is encouraging me to just have the balls to go for it and start talking to her.
The problem is that we have "known" each other (I use the word "known" loosely because, as I said, we only occasionally chat and we don't hang out in the same circles) for more than a year now through being classmates, so every time I almost have the courage to approach her and start talking to her, I start to think she will probably find it very strange/unusual that I am suddenly reaching out to her, so I end up not going for it. Am I right to have this concern? Does anyone have any experience with "suddenly" starting to talk to someone you don't normally speak to? Will she think it's weird that I am suddenly making an effort to be more friendly and trying to get to know her out of the blue?
I am embarrassed because I'm 23 and have no relationship experience at all, but this is the first time in my life where it seems as though the crush might be mutual and I have already blown so many chances with her. I really don't want to screw this up. Please help! | My crush (for over a year) and I rarely talk and I'm trying to gain confidence to start talking to her, but I'm worried she might think it's strange I'm "suddenly" reaching out to her. I'd really appreciate some advice. |
t3_1w9fjf | relationships | Me [22F] with my internet friend [24 M] for 2 months, give me some perspective | I don't know where to start because it's so crazy... I broke off a long-term relationship with my first serious boyfriend in September. This was difficult, but I had also just moved to a new city to start graduate school and was meeting tons of new people. Due to the stressful nature of my studies, I haven't had time to invest in starting a new relationship, nor was I planning on starting anything for a while. However, I found myself on chatroulette one night a few months ago, and, crazily enough, met an awesome guy. We ended up chatting for three hours, and since then we've kept in touch fairly regularly through gchat. He lives in the same country, but not close enough to visit except by plane. I didn't think this would last as long as it has. I've found myself completely lovesick over him. I'm not sure what to do, and I think it's becoming unhealthy. He has mentioned visiting me for a weekend, but part of me thinks this may be a terrible idea. He's said that the riskiness of it makes it all the more enticing. He tells me that he's dating people where he lives, but it sounds very casual. I was somewhat disappointed to hear that he's dating, but of course he is, I don't know what I was expecting.
Anyway, we videochatted last night and it was somewhat awkward, it was very late for me, he was asking me a lot of questions that I didn't feel like answering. I'm afraid he's not interested anymore. I'm not sure what to do, I definitely have feelings for him but I also think it's not the healthiest thing to be so enamored of somebody I've never actually met in person and whom I really have no chance at getting to know long-term. I'm not sure if i should drop this, and not sure how to do that. Has anyone had experience with internet romances and offer advice at how to get over them? Does this sound like a bad situation? Thank you. | Think I'm developing an unhealthy attachment to somebody I met on chat roulette. |
t3_3ht0cs | relationships | My [24M] boyfriend of 4 years told me [21F] that he doesn't want to have kids. | We have been together for 4 years, and we are absolutely in love. However, after his twin brother and his wife had a child we are getting extra pressure from the parents, he has admitted to me recently that he doesn't want to have kids. I on the other hand, really want children and pictured having a beautiful family with him up until this point.
When the subject was first brought up he said he wanted children in the future, so I had hope. I know I'm a bit younger, but I have a kick ass job, and I am very mature for my age after dealing with crap growing up. I'm ready for a family at any time. With him being 24 already, do you think he will ever change his mind? Maybe he's just not done maturing yet? We live together and we know we belong together. We are both everything the other person has ever wanted except for this one thing.
He fears that I will leave him if we don't end up having kids, which I won't, but I don't want to end up resenting him and becoming unhappy either. Have you had a similar experience or any advice to lend? | Boyfriend doesn't want kids, I do. We aren't separating but I don't want to resent him or end up unhappy. Is there hope that he will change his mind? How would you deal with that news if you had your heart set on having children? |
t3_2qheq3 | relationships | Me [28M] with my SO [21F] 2 years, she likes feather soft, I like concrete hard. | Wife just got a super soft memory foam mattress cover for Christmas, and absolutely loves it.
Problem is, I've always slept on and preferred concrete hard mattresses. I slept on it last night, and currently feel like an 85 year old man with a back made out of marshmallows attached together with safety pins.
Sleeping in separate beds is not an option. Cutting the foam mattress in half also isn't an option lol--it'll just end up slipping off the bed, or worse (and more likely as per Murphys law) make its way to me.
What's a good compromise? We have a great and openly communicative relationship Will my back eventually just STFU and take it or should we find an acceptable medium? | Me like hard bed, wife like soft bed, me back hurts like bear scratch |
t3_l59u8 | dating_advice | Question about the bar/club scene. | I'm a 22 male who goes out quite a bit. There's a ton of good bars and clubs around and I've kind of found my hotspot. I'm in shape, attractive, and not shy. I go out by myself almost always and the typical scenario is that I'll find an attractive girl with her friends (do cute girls even go out alone?) approach her at the bar or on the dance floor, engaging in conversation/dance, buy her a drink (sometimes a friend a drink too), hang out all night then... nothing. What am I doing wrong exactly? I don't want to come off as sleazy by suggesting we go home with each other, but I can't say I'm opposed to the idea. I know I'm doing some things right - confidence works in my favor and a knack for remembering every detail she says seems to go a long way. I just don't know what to do at the end of the night. | After a night of successful interaction with a female whose company I enjoy, WTF do I do next? |
t3_1wj1ft | relationships | Me [24 M] , my GF [24 F] of 3 months, what is wrong with her? | So my GF of a few months seems to be irritated with me all the time. She usually complains a lot about her job and parents and I listen and try to give advice that isn't too pushy.
But yesterday I decided to vent out about my studies and how I keep procrastinating it. I wasn't looking for advice really, just someone to vent out too..but she flipped out, started yelling and saying how its not a problem and basically how I'm a wuss because I can't get my studies done..
Later that evening at my place, I take my shirt off and she goes like "You're fat, you should stop eating so much" Mind you I'm only 160-165lbs , height 5'7 .. I'm actually mostly muscular (used to lift) except for a bit of flab around my waist and chin, I always gain weight there first unfortunately. I reply trying to make a joke of it "Well I need my winter fat to keep warm"
Then we made dinner together , watched a movie and had sex (which she subtly initiated) before I drove her home.
Today I find out from a friend of hers that she thinks I am unattractive and that I irritate her a lot.. And how she is pissed that the guys she likes never like her back.
Another time when we were travelling together earlier, she said "I don't like your sense of humor, you're not funny."
Whats wrong with this girl? Why is she even hanging around if she doesn't like me ? I have tried to break it off a few times but she always keeps calling back trying to work it out and says that I "dramatize" things.
I love her a lot but she is always either cold or too emotional about her own problems..never warm enough towards me emotionally. She is getting hospitalized tomorrow for 12 days, and frankly I don't even feel like visiting her. How do I bring this issue up? or should I wait till she leaves the hospital? | GF of 3 months feels irritated with me all the time. |
t3_4lf9f7 | relationships | "Casually" dating [21 F] an amazing man [30 M] but he doesn't know about our age difference. Advice? | The title sums it up nicely but for further detail:
I met "J" on a dating app and our first meetup was incredible. We talked until the bar closed down and then walked around our city till the sun came up. Things have been going great ever since. Age never came up in any of our discussions and the only reason I'm aware of his age is due to his recent birthday. The relationship is just starting to get serious (been invited to meet family) but "J" said something the other day that shows he thinks I'm older than I am. Is there a way to bring up the age gap without ruining the connection we have? Has anyone else been in a relationship with a 9 year gap? I know age won't matter if he likes me enough but I'd be bummed to see him go. I guess I'm looking for the courage to bring it up. | Age was never discussed and now the relationship is getting more serious. Partner said something that made it clear that he thinks I'm older than I am. Advice on how to remedy the the confusion and has anyone else dated someone that was 9 years apart? I just need courage to bring it up. |
t3_2ve8q5 | relationships | I [28M] was in a car accident a few weeks ago and my gf of two years [25F] hasn't talked to me since | A few weeks ago, I was in a fairly bad car accident. I was driving alone when someone swerved into my lane and hit me nearly dead on. In the accident, I sustained a head injury, but I recovered pretty quickly and I'm home now getting better.
It's sucked a lot, and what's making it worse is that my gf hasn't really talked to me since, which is so weird. We've been dating for two years, we're in love, we've been talking about the future, all that. I remember her vaguely being there in the hospital and crying, but I was honestly so out of it that I don't have a clear recall of it.
I'm like kind of in a fog lately, and I've texted her and called her. I even once pulled myself out of it and went over to her house once and knocked but
It's not really like her to pull something like this and I'm really confused. Honestly, I'm not so sure what's been up with most people I know, and I'm sure it's just mostly in my head but I feel like I haven't done much talking with anyone since it happened, and it's been pretty lonely.
I feel in and out of existence almost and every day is kind of the same and bleeding into the next. I've been hanging out around my apartment a lot and just waiting to go back to work. So I'm kind of in my own head right now and maybe could use some insight? Has anyone ever heard of something like this happening in a similar situation? | got into a car accident, gf and friends kind of dropped off the scene |
t3_2ikaf5 | relationships | Me [26F] with my boyfriend [35 M] duration ~3 months, having insecurity issues with his relationship with his ex-wife. Unsure how to broach the subject. | I met Joe (fake name) this past June and he really is a wonderful guy. We became exclusive mid July. I was hesitant at first to be in a relationship with him as he is older, divorced and has two (lovely) children. I have still not met his children, and will not until we are at least 6 months into our relationship. I am completely understanding of this; I believe this is a smart idea.
Now Joe is a truly wonderful guy. He is handsome, caring, funny, loving. Just an all around amazing person. I feel so comfortable and happy when I am with him. Now, when we first started dating he made me aware that he and his ex still have occasional dinners/outings together as a family...for the kids. He has done this several times without it bothering me at all. I think it is absolutely wonderful that they can still be friends and get along well.
I guess I am starting to become annoyed/insecure because they went to see the show Marvel and have gone to Edventure together as a family. Now, the ex seems like a great person too.
He has the kiddos every other weekend and each Wednesday. He also takes the girl to school every morning and picks her up and watches her till 7pm on the weeknights. I have been completely okay with waiting to see him when he is available. Of course I wish I could spend more time with him, but the kids should come first.
I guess my question is am I right to be frustrated with this situation. I feel almost like they (Joe and his ex) get to both have a bachelor lifestyle, but also get to play happy family. I want his children to be first in his life, I am 100% okay with this. But how can I compare to their happy lives when they still do stuff together…it seems quite regularly? I don't want to come off as a bad person for even bringing this up, but I can't help that it bothers me. | My boyfriend still regularly has family outings with his ex and children. I wonder if I am just a fill in for spare time... |
t3_3f2ye2 | pettyrevenge | Call me a kid and you'll run in the heat | As a summer job I work at my local tennis courts for a few extra bucks. My job title is "tennis court assistant" and essentially my job is I come down to the tennis courts at the ass crack of dawn unlock the gates and sweep the courts, If it rained the night before then I squeegee the water off the courts. NOT to chase balls and get things for players, sometimes I do if I feel nice but it isn't required. As you'd expect I get snobby rich people who think I should do everything for them.
Today was an especially hot day for the area (~95°) and the sun was beating down on the courts. I had already finished my duties so I sat down in my shed (which is right next to the main courts) and started to read. One of the older women who was playing (who plays tennis with my mom and knows my name) says jokingly yet in a bitchy tone "the kid should get us an umbrella to hide from the shade!" Obviously loud enough for me to hear thinking I'd actually do that. Most people call me by my name or "_____'s son" but if someone calls me "kid" I am not the happiest camper (I'm 5'10" larger with a full beard) so the rage started to boil.
When they were playing a ball zipped by me and landed a couple yards away, looking in my book I hear "thank you!" From the same bitchy voice expecting me to get the ball for her, I "didn't hear her" so she has to run over and get the ball herself, when she gets back she says to her partner "geeze I said thank you." It felt petty enough but I took it a step further, another game that was playing two courts over had people that like me and are nice to me so when a ball goes stray I purposely put my book down and jog over to the ball to get it back. It might not be much but it made me happy. | be a bitch and call me "kid" I'm gonna make you run in the heat. |
t3_sytwh | AskReddit | I am in desperate need of advice. What should I do? | I just found out that my scumbag ex boyfriend practically raped my twin sister after he cheated on me and constantly lied to me and kept me strung along for almost two years. The whole time we were having sex, so it's not like he was desperate or anything. I can't breathe, and she was too afraid to tell me until now. He doesn't know that I know. What should I do? I'm honestly shaking and I've locked myself in my bedroom. At this point I have two choices- tell him I know and flip a shit on him over the phone (he lives in Boston, i'm in South Florida), or just pretend I never knew and cut him totally out of my life. I'm so embarrassed that I don't even wanna do the first option and talk to him, but also I don't wanna do the second option because then he'll go through the rest of his life thinking he's a sneaky bastard and he pulled one over on me. Help! | Scummy ex boyfriend practically tried to rape my sister when we broke up. He doesn't think I know. |
t3_mss0o | AskReddit | What are your computer-related work tips? | Hey Reddit, I'm having a few time-wasting issues at the moment. I'll start off with some good things that are going on:
MY GOOD THINGS:
-Doing fairly well in school, keeping up a 85% average, great attendance in class
-In the exclusive laptop program for school
Life is good, right? Now for some not-so-good things:
MY NOT-SO-GOOD THINGS:
-Going on computer too much. Mostly Reddit and Minecraft. For hours, DAYS, looking at nothing. Wasting time is an understatement. Also, all-nighters on the computer. These leave me sore and sorry the next morning (gettting to sleep at 1 or 2), and they're affecting my school and sport performance.
-Not going outdoors as much as I wish. Sometimes I look back on my day and realize that the only time I've spent outside of the house was walking from the garage to the car, from the car to the front doors of school. I am a cross-country runner, but it is basketball season (and it is snowing outside), so outdoors training is very uncommon.
-Not doing homework, because of endless computer use. I can use prolonged time-wasting as an excuse, as I am in the laptop program in school and can say I'm doing "homework". Somehow I am keeping up this 85 average, but I can tell it`s going to get harder soon.
-I should be getting a job, as I have "expensive" tastes, shal I say. Prolonged computer usage is slowing my efforts (see #1).
While writing this, I took a Minecraft and a Reddit break, just as an example of my "time wasting". And I should be doing French homework. *sigh*
I think my problems lie in time-wasting. The time-waster being the computer. Do you have any tips, programs that you use, or reasons that I should get my lazy butt off this couch and do work? | Too much time is being spent on the computer doing nothing. Help? |
t3_3u57w6 | personalfinance | Credit trashed by medical debt. Try to pay it off or wait it out? | When I was a teenager I ran out and got a couple of credit cards that I used recklessly and never paid off. I racked up a couple thousand dollars in debt that way. A couple of years later I was hospitalized due to mental illness, and because I was uninsured at the time I accumulated yet more debt. My recovery process was long and I didn't have much support, and out of fear I just sort of ignored the debt for years. It eventually went to collections and decimated my credit score even further.
I'm at a point in my life now where I have my feet more solidly under me, I'm mentally healthy, and I'm starting to think about things like eventually buying a home. But with my terrible credit even apartment-hunting is a sisyphean struggle.
At this point I have about two years left before my medical debt is discharged, and I'm wondering what would be the best course of action for beginning to rebuild my credit. Should I wait it out and start over with what I have, or should I still try to pay it off? I'm concerned that if I start making payments again now it'll reset the clock and make it even harder for me to dig myself out. | A bad life experience combined with being a financial moron caused me to totally eff up my credit. What do? |
t3_4n5vs8 | relationships | Me [23 M] dating [20 F] for 10 months, but not exclusive because she is not ready; what to do? | UPDATE: She asked me to be her boyfriend because I was taking to long to ask a second time...
Been dating this girl for 10 months, it is long distance while we are in school but we are from the same city. We talk/snapchat everyday. and have been sexually active after the first 5 months. I'd say we are a full fledged couple without the exclusivity. She is not ready for a relationship because "she doesn't know what type of guy she likes yet". I think the real reason is because her parents are going through a very sticky divorce and she is scared of that happening to her.
She talks about how I rock her world and we are the perfect match all the time.
She is also a sex addict I guess you could say. I know she slept with another guy about 2 months ago, but since we are not exclusive and long distance I cannot really hold it against her. Although if we were a couple and this happened i'd leave her immediately, obviously. She might be lightly dating or hanging out with other guys up until now. But I know I'm the one she sees the most. Now that it is summer we see each other about 4 times a week. Recently she invited me to meet her family. And also spend some time at their cottage with them.
I am just wondering if 10 months is long enough to give her sort of an ultimatum whether she is going to commit or not. She is a great girl and I really do like her, hence why I have been so patient. | Dating 10 months but no commitment because she is not ready, what to do? |
t3_4c1m8w | relationships | Me [19 F] with my aunt [late 40's F] who insists on attacking my religious differences | Hi everyone. I've been having a bit of an ongoing problem for a while, but now it's gotten to a point that it needs to be dealt with once and for all. My dad's side of the family is extremely religious, while I have identified as an atheist for about ten years now. I went to church with them until about two years ago just to keep the peace (as well as generally just finding religious texts interesting).
When I went off to college, it was very relieving and I felt less restricted by what I could or could not say, including online. I joined the LGBT club at my school and my most recent problem stems from sharing pro-LGBT articles after the recent North Carolina bill. My aunt took offense to such things and messaged me with a bit of hostility that I have forgotten the foundations of our country, and proceeded to guilt me for forgetting the bible and that Christ is my savior. She ends with interrogations on if I have forgotten all of this and, essentially, what happened to make me steer into evil.
The last time this happened, it was a bit less forward and I was able to get away with saying that I respect her beliefs and don't look down upon them, but I disagreed on the particular issue we were discussing. Now, I feel that something more severe needs to be said to cut off this behavior, but I don't want to create unnecessary hostility in my family.
All I really want is to stop feeling attacked. My grandmother sends me cards with bible verses and handwritten notes regularly. I'm fine with that. I'm perfectly fine with them being religious and am certainly not trying to dissuade them from that. I just want to know what to say to politely ask for her respect in the matter. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. | Aunt knows I'm not religious; seems to think guilting and insulting me will convert me. Want to politely ask her to stop doing this, but know it'll be hard in such a tension-fueled situation. |
t3_122ehz | relationships | SO[F21] kissed someone after our breakup, we are back together but I [M22] have a couple of questions. | Together for 2 years. I hate the word 'break' but that is basically what happened. We broke up for 2 or 3ish months, mostly due to the fact that we were both depressed and in a downward spiral and had to get our own shit sorted. There was no fall-out, just a lot of silence between us for a couple of months. The breakup is not the point of this post.
So as I stated my now no longer ex-girlfriend kissed a guy during our break, something which I have no problems with. We were broken up. She had every right to. However the following problem arises:
HOLY SHIT I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS ABOUT WORLD OF FUCKING WARCRAFT. We both play WoW casually, she a bit more than me. She met this guy in the guild that we both used to be in. However, since the 'incident' she is still in the same guild. I have not logged in on my own character for weeks because I feel there is an awkard situation and don't want to be confronted with the guy (there is no resentment though).
Since we have mostly gotten our shit together and both happy to be back together, is it reasonable for me to expect her to cut contact with this guy, which inevitably means she will have to leave that realm/guild (I'd happily pay for the transfer)? There is no trust issue, I just don't feel comfortable. | SO kisses guy from WoW guild during breakup, which is fine, but I would prefer that she break contact / leave guild. |
t3_zyjs9 | dating_advice | I fell in love with a stranger. What do I do? [Both M&F early 20s] | 20-something male here, who was at a wedding and utterly fell head over heels for a waitress there. What do I do?
Should I pursue this? I made small talk with her, and the way she looked at me the rest of the night led me to believe she felt something, too.
If you think I should pursue it, how? First, logistically, how can I find out who she is? And two, how can I do it as such that it is not creepy? I have experience with women, and I consider myself very not-creepy, but pursuing some connection with a stranger can verge on creepiness. I've never done it before, so please help!
Just for some info: I never found out her name, but I know which company she works for. | Really felt a connection with a stranger. Should I pursue it? If so, how? |
t3_1pcr27 | Pets | Should I get my cat an x-ray? | I have a new kitty and the little bugger loves to sprint around like a lunatic and frequently runs directly underfoot. Well, today the worst thing happened: I stepped on the poor guy.
I had shoes on and landed on his back leg. Nothing seems disjointed and I don't see any major swelling, but I heard a crack, he gave quite a yelp and he's definitely favouring it and being really clingy. He's limping, but walking on it and remains playful.
Not sure if I'm overreacting as I've heard that kind of pop from a sprain in my own body before. | I stepped on my cat by accident, heard a crack in his leg, but he's walking (limping) on it. Should I get an x-ray? |
t3_1xmbnq | dating_advice | I just got rejected by a girl after she flaked through several dates. I'm a lot more upset than I thought I would be =/ | I met this girl on Tinder, we talked for some time and I thought she was nice, and pretty. To be honest I'm quite nerdy and she seemed "normal." I could never really get along with girls like that, so I didn't expect much.
After a month of broken dates I really never expected to see her. But she kept on asking to "reschedule." So I said sure, we can reschedule.
I check in this week to send her a message, and she's gone from my list. I believe that means I've been blocked.
So, now I'm upset. This is just like what happened to me all through college, getting strung along with girls who just can't be honest about their feelings. She doesn't want to date me? She doesn't KNOW me. We haven't even met! But she can make this judgment that I'm not good enough regardless.
I just think it's so damn rude. I will always let a girl know if I'm not interested in her, and I will NEVER simply cut off communication, I've gotten this treatment far too many times to be so cruel. Fake numbers, no responses, no feedback... it's been years since the last time. I thought this wouldn't bother me so much anymore.
Here's where the story necessitates a throwaway. I looked her up. I knew enough about her from our discussions that I found her facebook and email address. So now I want to basically send an angry e-mail telling her off. Which is incredibly stalker-y and inappropriate, I know. By doing this I'm not respecting her right to make a choice.
But I'm upset. I feel like if I could just write the perfect email, she'd realize she was rude and maybe the next guy she meets, she'll be honest. This is obviously a ridiculous fancy.
I'm hoping by blowing off steam in this topic, I can get some perspective and maybe not do something dumb. | I got rejected by a girl who just cut off communication. I respect her decision, but not her method. I want to send her an email saying that's not cool. |
t3_casul | AskReddit | Need advice on important life decision (rent or buy home) | I'm 24 and will be graduating from university after taking 2 more classes and up until now I've been able to somewhat tolerate living in my parents' basement. However they are the worst "room mates" I could imagine as they are very untidy and borderline hoarder. Luckily the basement is nice, but the upstairs is bad enough that I try not to bring people over and has negatively effected my social life.
I have had a full time job for a year now that is going great and the option to move out (finanially) is on the table. But I'm unsure as to whether I should move out and rent or stay and save up for a down payment on a place of my own. From what I've heard from people I know who rent, the cost of renting where I live can easily be just shy of a mortgage payment. So is it worth it to sacrifice social life to save money for an actual place of my own or rent a place and benefit from the social life at the expense of buying my own place? | Drug bust went bad, cops found the dope. What do I do?! |
t3_ut9em | relationships | How can I let my girlfriend know that I want to spend time with my friends without her? | My girlfriend quit smoking weed, as well as all other drug use about a week before we started dating. I've been very supportive of this as I don't smoke or drink often, if at all. When she quit smoking she realized that she couldn't see her old friends as much because they smoked so she joined with my friend group, and it's worked very well. I love spending time with her, both with my friends and alone. I've seen her for the past five days straight though because when I tell her my plans I feel rude not inviting her since she's essentially part of the group of friends I spend time with. I just want a little time with my guy friends without her, but I don't know how to tell her. Most importantly, she doesn't have any other friends outside of our now shared group so I'd feel bad leaving her to stay at home without anything to do.
Ages: 18m with 17f
Relationship: 3 Months | Girlfriend lost her old friends, joined my group, I see her too much and don't know how to tell her |
t3_fbcfc | AskReddit | I don't cry but when I watch movies, I cry like a five-year old. | I don't get it, I go through a terrible break-up, not a tear. Accidentally get a tattoo while drunk, not a single tear. I am constantly depressed, again no tears. When I watch a movie, I start crying like a baby. I was just watching Children of Men (amazing movie btw), and I started crying. Just started bawling in front of the computer.
This started when I was away in college and watched Lion King a little stoned at 4 am on a Sunday.. I didn't used to cry before. Something in me broke and cried through the entire movie. I can't help myself; now I cry at every f.ing movie I see.
WTF? Why? Does this happen to anyone else? | I cry whenever I watch a movie. Why does this happen? |
t3_2jt5bm | tifu | TIFU by making dinner and falling asleep. | Well, last night to be exact. I was sitting on my couch, watching my fantasy football score stagnate. I had a few Sunday evening drinks and decided to make dinner. I selected the finest frozen Bertolli® Chicken Margherita dinner and set the stove to medium high. I then promptly fell asleep.
I awoke to a group of firemen who had forcibly entered my apartment through use of a crowbar. To say I was somewhat startled would be putting it mildly. They grabbed me and took me into the hallway, where they asked me several questions and I explained what happened in my still half-asleep state. Needless to say, my dinner was ruined and I'm still hungry.
I live in a 13 story condominium complex and I'm pretty sure I ruined everyone's night on at least my floor. I anticipate the smokey smell lingering for many days to come. I will have to buy a new door, door jamb, and fix the wall surrounding the door jamb; as well as pay to have the smoke smell removed. Fortunately, no one was harmed in the event, though my level of embarrassment is at it's highest point. | Passed out with food on the stove. Woke up to firemen in my apartment. Now the whole floor smells like smoke. |
t3_2pxa5a | offmychest | Fuck you, travelocity | So a little bit of background story, me and my family were planning on traveling to Europe for Christmas and bought tickets through travelocity, and had been planning this trip for months. I was so excited. I hadn't traveled or seen my brother in a while. We called travelocity the other day and had them clear up an issue with my passport, which expires in several months and for those who don't know, the EU now has laws against traveling with a passport that expires within 6 months, which mine does.
So we get to the airport today and get told that apparently the airline cannot do anything against EU laws, and travelocity talked to the wrong one about the issue, giving us the wrong information. We spent an hour sitting on a bench outside the airport absolutely livid at the fact that my dad and I have to spend Christmas at home while my mom goes to Barcelona to be with my brother so he isn't alone.
Not expecting too much of a response to this, just needed to write it down and vent. So fuck you travelocity, for splitting up my family for the holidays, and taking away the thing I've looked forward to all semester. | Travelocity fucks up by selling us tickets and instructing us we are fine to travel, when we actually aren't, which ends up splitting up my family for the holiday |
t3_xw5tj | AskReddit | Reddit, I'm in dire need of your help. My ex-gf called me yesterday to tell me she was molested over the weekend. What in the world am I supposed to do? | So I'm on vacation with my family, and my ex-girlfriend (been apart for around 3 months) calls me in tears, asks if I'm alone, and tells me that she had just been in the hospital for three nights after being raped. She was at a music festival when it happened, and I still haven't asked for all the details because I was in total shock when she told me. Our conversation basically ended right when she told me, as she left me speechless.
See, we left our relationship after a bumpy period, so I have mixed feelings towards her. Of course I feel horrible for her, and what happened is awful in every way imaginable, but I don't "love" her like I used to, so I am at a loss as to what I should do. I feel like I'm obliged to do something, she hasn't even told her parents yet.
Can someone help me? I'm on vacation right now, and now I've got this on my mind, and she's expecting a call back in a few days when I'm back home. I don't even know how I should be feeling right now, and I have absolutely no idea what I'm supposed to say to her/talk about. This is where I hope the redditors of the world can help. I personally hate these types of posts, but I am at a complete loss, please help me. | My ex-gf was raped over the weekend, she's only told me, she's expecting a call soon. |
t3_3hnntv | dating_advice | mixed messages.......what does this situation mean? | he hasn't initiated conversation with me outside of work, it was always me who texted first but he would reply right away each time. at times he shows major interest but maybe he's holding his feelings back? the first time i noticed this "hot and cold" is one day he was giving me lots of attention and trying to be near me a lot, and would look my way when i had a short conversation with another male coworker. then all of a sudden he left, disappeared, and i didn't see him till the next day.
he would look at me a lot at work and want to be near me, but outside of work he barely talks to me. when i try to initiate something he usually pushes me away. one time i asked to hang out and he said yes but later cancelled the plans with no rescheduling. this is kind of frustrating since i have such a good time with him in person, i still would like to connect and talk outside of work. | he initiates in person but nothing through text |
t3_3avq9k | relationship_advice | 20/m feeling lost, i get very irritated when asked to do things on my days off, my fiance 20f finds things for me to do. | I'm not sure if this is completely a relationship problem, I could be getting more irritated than I should, but i just cant take it.
This may just be part of being an adult, but I have a decent sized work load, I work 46 hours a week, commute is 7 hours per week, i feel pretty worn down from work, really feel the need to relax and do nothing on my days off.
I literally have a honey do list, she calls me and asks me to do errands. And I cant take it, todays really irritated me enough to post.
shes too nice to her workplace 1, workplace 1 wants her to sell these old windows for them, the person buying them wants to pick them up at her workplace 2, she calls me to have me drive them from a to b, irritating me but I do it. I get up there and say something about not wanting to. She says " You werent doing anything anyway" Of course I wasnt, thats what I want to do. I crave doing nothing and she loves to fill my time.
I've tried talking to her about it and she told me she doesnt want to listen to me bitch about doing a simple errand, I've been doing it every time and she's tired of it.
Keep in mind she's not even on the clock for workplace 1, no ones getting paid at all she just figured i'd do it since I wasnt doing anything. | I have a busy work schedule, want to relax SO finds plenty of shit for me to do like I'm a wasted resource when I'm not doing shit. I feel the need to unwind and get upset when she wants me to do shit, maybe i'm just being unreasonable. |
t3_3k9g46 | tifu | TIFU by dropping a rotisserie chicken on the floor at WalMart. | This actually happened to me a couple weeks ago but I saw the word "rotisserie" and it brought this back to the forefront of my mind.
So this one day I'm getting my grocery shopping done at WalMart, and I decide to pick up a rotisserie chicken before I head to the check out. I'm checking out their selection, and pick up one to buy. Little did I know, those lids aren't exactly on tight so the moment I pick my chicken up, the bottom falls off and the chicken hits the ground. Of course my first instinct is to pick it up, which was a huge mistake. That sucker was HOT. So I dropped it again. Chicken juice is burning the palms of my hands, and now there is a greasy chicken sliding around on the floor. Picture a rotisserie chicken hockey puck. This thing is sliding all over the place.
In my moment of panic, I bend down, scoop the chicken back into its container (covered in Walmart floor dust), and basically throw it back onto the shelf. Then I run away.
As I'm wiping my chicken juice hands off on my pants, I realize what a giant mistake I've made. All I can think is, "what if someone buys that dirty chicken?". But of course, I checked out and went on with my day. I told all my friends at work, and it's been decided that I am going to hell for doing this. | I dropped a rotisserie chicken on the floor at WalMart and put it back for someone else to buy. |
t3_wmosn | AskReddit | Landlord is a turd; how to deal with a turd? | Our assistant manager (landlord) is a bitch. There is no denying it, she is abusive, has a no-can-do attitude, constantly is in a bad mood, talks in a condescending manner and just always has the meanest look on her face. It would be an obvious answer to move, but it simply isn't an option. My family lives in government funded housing development because we can't afford to pay market price.
Well so obviously it would be a natural thing to complain to the manager, right? Well the thing is from the looks of it,the manager is merely a figurehead, who makes the assistant landlord do all the work and thus, she is basically in charge. The whole apartment is in renovation right now and so I assume she's having a hell of a time processing mountains of paper work and other stuff, but it still doesn't give her the right to be so damn mean to everyone all the time. It wouldn't be a problem, but she demands that we sign a shit ton of paper work at her will and it's hard to comply since as a college kid I live way outta my way to drive back. But more so than that she's simply such an asshole to my parents who don't speak English very well and I just want to punch her in the face. I don't know reddit... how would you deal with this? | = landlord is a turd, but we live in cheap housing and cant afford anything else... how do you deal with a turd? |
t3_4apfnk | relationships | My (28M) GF (26F), 1 year, lied about being sterile, got her tubes tied | My gf and I have been dating for about a year. Things have been perfect, everything was great. She's super smart, super funny, got an amazing career and a great future ahead of her. I am career-oriented myself, but I always flirted with the thought of having a family.
When we started dating, she told me straight up she never wanted kids. I was perfectly ok with that. Then she dropped a bomb on me - it would be impossible for her to have kids as she was sterile. I was honestly ok with that too, as having bio kids weren't that important to me.
I was planning to propose to her this summer, and then she had to go to the doctor for a bad bad cramp. I went with her, and that's when she told me that she had her tubes tied when she was 23. She said her doctor really fought her on it, but finally let her do it.
I feel lied to. I don't know why she didn't tell me she had done this procedure, and honestly I feel suckered into a childless marriage now by HER doing. She's apologizing a lot for lying (by omission), but she believes that she never withheld the information from me that she was sterile, but rather the reason for it. She said it shouldn't change anything because we both agreed to a childless relationship/marriage. We both thought that adoption is something we wanted, but I still feel duped.
What do I do?? | GF is sterile by her own doing, and I feel lied to. |
t3_1kt8el | relationship_advice | [25m] Need help with a new relationship [30f] | Hey guys, I recently went after this girl who I've know professionally for about 7 months. I told her I was interested in her. The beginning was rough to say the least. She kept giving me new excuses as to why our relationship would not work or last a very long time. So after a few months I stopped pursuing.
About 2 months go by without any contact and one of her friends tells me she wants me back. That I should have kept going at it. I really like this girl so I ask her where I could find her or meet her. She practically told me her itinerary. I waited outside her work one day. Mind you I already knew where she worked because of our past business relationship.
She told me we could start out as friends. Get to know each other. She gave me her number to text her. She set some rules like not to text her after midnight yadda yadda. She said we could go watch a movie together but it was not to be confused with us being Boyfriend - Girlfriend. Later she said she was not looking for a boyfriend right now.
She did say she does not have male friends implying that our relationship is special somewhat even if it is just friends. Later she said, "well, I do have a male friend but hes been my friend all my life"
I text her once a week. I've been getting to know her slowly. It's been 1 month. I have not asked her out yet. I don't mind taking things snail speed slow.
My questions are: Is this going in the right direction? Should I be worried about her male friend? Is our age gap too big? | Starting out as friends. Worried it might just be that. Nothing more. |
t3_28g9i9 | relationships | How many doubts is too many? | I (25 F) have been with my SO (34 M) for 1.5 years. We moved in together pretty quickly, and have had a successful domestic partnership for the past 9 months. He's gorgeous, loves me, and has a good job that makes good money. He always listens to my side of things, is extremely non-reactive and good natured, and one of the smartest guys I've ever met. Oh and, I also LOVE his family.
But... sometimes I just don't feel it. I don't know whether it's a lack of respect because he used to cheat on girlfriends through his 20's, something he told me early on in the relationship, or fear of his current drinking because he used to have seizures from binge drinking, something he never sought help for, but the issue dissipated a few years ago (all in the past and shouldn't effect us now, I do understand that). I'm not sure if it's because our senses of humor are a little different. He'll publicly post a picture of himself fake humping a statue and my heart will just freeze over.
It's not that I think he's a "bad" person for these things... I just don't relate to him... In these moments, I feel like I don't emotionally connect, and I lose respect for someone I want to respect more than anyone. I just want to make sure these feelings are normal in most committed relationships and if not, if they're cause to quit and date around...
I do love him, so I'm hoping I can over come, but I also don't want to waste our time if he'd be better off with someone who understands him completely. During my past 2 one-year relationships, I think I remember being more assured of things (until our jobs took us different directions). We're on the path to marriage and I don't know if I'm always 100% with it.
Thanks in advance for the perspective! | I have doubts about my wonderful boyfriend, and wonder if it's all normal relationship stuff, or if doubting in itself is a red flag? |
t3_43k14y | personalfinance | Do you count saving for short and medium-term goals towards your "save X%" rule? | I've always felt like I'm not saving nearly enough, because I when I sit down and do my budget every month it seems like even getting a few hundred into long-term savings is a challenge.
But it occurred to me that if I count all the 'medium-term' (several months to a year) things I have money earmarked for I'm actually 'saving' quite a bit more each month.
I just can't figure out if I'm being overly restrictive by only counting long-term savings or if I'm deluding myself into thinking that I'm doing better than I am by counting all these medium-term things. I mean on the one hand, it *is* money that I'm not spending, but on the other hand I'd hate to realize down the line that I'm way behind because I was supposed to be saving 20% *just for retirement*. | Do you count short/medium-term things in your 'save x%' rule, or is that really about long-term, retirement type savings? |
t3_1zug9p | relationships | I [17M] dating [17F] need some advice | Okay, so, we've been dating for 5 months and onwards, soon it's 6 months, we've been smooth sailing through out this whole time, but i need some advice, I'm always the one going to her, hugging her and kidding her, it looks like I'm the only one putting in effort.
Am i overreacting? We talk a lot, she puts in effort into talking to me, but I'm concerned, i confronted her, and she said, shes not bothered if we dont kiss and hug, seeing my face is enough, but isn't being in a relationship about those things and showing you're putting in effort at least? | Girlfriend doesn't care if we don't kiss/hug, she doesnt show shes putting in effort into us, but says she tries her best |
t3_1thsfo | relationships | My [39M] friend [40M] is unknowingly dating an adult performer | I have a male friend (we'll call him Derek) who is a really great guy but is one of those guys who is always single and at the same time always talking about how lonely he is and how he'll never find anyone. I've worked with him a lot over the years on developing confidence and not "trying too hard" so he can be happy and find someone.
So I was delighted a three weekends ago when I was having a dinner party and he said he would be bringing a female guest that he met in his skiing club. He talked her up quite a bit and seemed excited about how much they had in common, etc.
Sidebar: I watch a lot of porn.
The night of the dinner party, the doorbell rings and here is Derek. He enters and then a woman enters behind him who he introduces. Immediately, I recognize her as a prolific adult performer/porn actress from the 90's. She wasn't high profile enough that just anyone might recognize her (like Jenna Jameson) but I can recall at least 25-30 scenes I've seen her in. I kind of made long eye contact with her after introducing myself and I got the vibe that she knew I recognized her.
I just carried on normally for the evening but after a few hours (and a few drinks) she cornered me in the kitchen and said she presumed I recognized her from her adult film career, which I confirmed. She proceeded to launch into this long explanation of how she wanted to put this behind her and made a life decision not to tell new people she met about her former life. She asked that I respect her decision and not tell Derek, also assuring me that she is totally healthy, clean, and drug free.
I have a big problem with being asked to lie via omission. It makes me feel dishonorable and I openly tell my friends not to ask me to lie for them, ever. On the other hand, I think this news will crush Derek. He's been seeing her a lot in the ensuing days and constantly raves about her and how well the relationship is going. What do I do? | My friend is dating a former porn star and she asked me not to tell him. Do I tell him the truth or respect her wishes? |
t3_3dx89w | relationships | I [19,F] have kept my weed habit from my boyfriend [18,M] for months. I want to tell him but I know he wouldn't understand. What should I do? | I wasn't sure where to put this, but I figured r/relationships would give me the best non-biased advice. Also, this is a throwaway account because I don't want this linked to my regular account.
So I've had a bit of a habit with smoking weed for a while now, and to be completely honest I think it's turned into a problem. My boyfriend knows that I smoke (although he thinks only occasionally) and he has done it himself a few times, but he disapproves of it in general. Whenever I get high with my friends he seems to get upset with me, and gets annoyed whenever I bring up smoking to him. However I've been keeping my real habits secret from him and smoking by myself several times a day, even hanging out with him when I'm high and hiding it (although it barely affects me anymore). I've hid it from everybody and I'm afraid to open up to him about it. Meanwhile it's draining me mentally and emotionally.
I've had pretty bad anxiety/depression for a while now which smoking has helped me with. But I don't think he would understand any of that. I feel so guilty about my use but I don't know what to do. We have a very good relationship and I love him very much but I'm afraid if I told him about it he would break up with me and I don't want to lose him. I know that lying to him is wrong but I'm terrified of telling the truth. What should I do? | Im high pretty much all day every day, unbeknownst to my boyfriend, and I am ashamed of it but don't think I can stop. How can I open up to him and reach out for help without destroying our relationship? |
t3_13rrlq | relationships | Boyfriend (19) lied to me about having a medical condition, where should I (18, f) go from here? | My boyfriend has disgusting teeth, most of them are rotting and falling apart. They really are repulsive. When we first started dating, which was around 4 months ago, he told me his teeth were so awful from some sort of genetic disorder and the only thing he could do to improve it was to get his mouth wired shut for 6 months, which he could not afford and would be too difficult to do. I stupidly believed him, and because it was a disease that he could do nothing about, looked past his gross teeth.
Well, as it turns out, he was lying. He came clean to me yesterday about his teeth, saying that he really just never took care of them (never brushed them) and that is why they are so disgusting. No "genetic disorder" in sight. Not only do I find this absolutely repulsive, I feel very violated after having him lie to me for so long and I almost question his sanity: what kind of weirdo can't take care of their teeth? Him and I have had a pretty good relationship so far, but this is just really strange to me. (I know many of you are probably thinking "wouldn't I be able to taste how disgusting he is when I kiss him?" but he would always use mouthwash or chew gum before so he always tasted like mint.)
This really has thrown me, and I'm not sure where to go from here. First of all, do I have a right to be pissed about this; am I over-reacting? Also, is this grounds enough for me to break up with him? Because this has been the one issue in our overall great relationship, would this even be worth me breaking up with him? I don't necessarily want to dump him, but this issue really concerns and confuses me. Thank you in advance for your suggestions. | boyfriend has disgusting teeth, lied to me saying it was a medical disorder when in reality he just doesn't brush them. Feel very violated, disgusting, and confused, not sure where to go from here. |
t3_2y9tz3 | relationships | MY [26] girlfriend [24F] of 1.5 years is depressed, help me help her? | My SO is depressed, and I have no idea how to help her when she's down. She doesn't talk to me, doesn't make eye contact, doesn't want to do anything.
What hurts the most to me is that all she can focus on is my past relationships. She will accuse me of things (like masturbating) that are not true and seem arbitrary to me.
I feel like I am in an abusive relationship. These kind of fights have been happening every other day (it feels) for the past two months. I know that her depression is a main cause, but I'm having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. How can I/should I keep this up? | SO is depressed, loosing steam trying to help! |
t3_1j0ybw | relationships | Me and my [16/F] girlfriend ended pretty roughly. Me[16/M] | Here's the story. We were in a relationship for a year. Everything seemed perfect. We never argued, we would see each other almost everyday. I was happy and so was she.
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Then, the day before our one year anniversary, she broke up with me for literally no reason at all. I was devastated and soon after fixed things. After that she broke up with me again because we weren't able to "talk" and it was too sexual/ physical and she didn't want that.
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I told her I would change that because I was deeply in love with her. Then again. This time it was "we're too awkward." It devastated me. Then, she told me the real reason why she broke up with me. She was still in love with her ex.. From 2 years ago... That cheated on her with her best friend more than twice.
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I told him what happened so that maybe he could change her mind or something. Yesterday I find out she told him she "never loved" me, and would rather be with him. She also invited him to the movies, which gets me mad because when I would invite her she would be like "eh I don't like going to the movies."
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So yesterday, I called her to ask if what she said was true. He called at the same time and told her he didn't want to be friends and to not call ever. She was crying and got mad at me. Then later on she called and I asked again about those things. She hung up, got mad at both of us, and that's it so far. I just needed somewhere to put this so people would see. Any advice on how to treat this? And I don't want her anymore at all. She disgusts me. | Gf of a year loved another dude, lied to me why she broke up with me(it was for him), told him she didn't love me ever and only dated me because she was alone, dude told her to fuck off "nicely". |
t3_3awhiy | weddingplanning | Too many colors? [HELP] | I'm starting to stress that things are going to look not coordinated at all.
My dress is champagne over ivory with a silver beaded belt. I'll be wearing deep purple shoes with silver detailing, a silver hair piece...
The groom is wearing a matching ivory shirt, a khaki vest, a tan tie, dark blue jeans and brown shoes.
My bridesmaids are wearing [this] dress in "bubble gum" which is a grey-purple. They'll carry gray and white chevron clutches and wear gray shoes.
The groomsmen will be wearing ties that are grey and a matching purple, with ivory button ups and grey vests, dark blue jeans and brown shoes.
The mom's are wearing matching silver and amethyst necklaces. The dads are all wearing matching purple/grey ties (a darker purple than the bridal party).
The ceiling draping will be white. The lights are soft white with white wiring. The table cloths are charcoal, a dark grey. The center pieces will be old paper (yellow'd paper/tan-ish) heart cut outs and clear glass candle holders with ivory candles.
We've got signage that will be either blonde or stained wood with gray lettering.
The flower girls will carry baskets that are wicker with detailing in 2 shades of purple with white lace trim... And they'll have these fake deep purple flower pedals to toss around.
Now... I found [these] adorable dresses for them in champagne... but now I'm worried that I shouldn't buy them because nothing else is champagne except the lace on my dress??? I don't want them in stark white/silver either, because like - nothing but the ceiling and lights will be white. Although, my jewelry is silver? | Do you think those dresses will work with my shit? I'm getting closer to the wedding and starting to freak out that we're going to look like an uncoordinated mess. |
t3_gsw0l | AskReddit | Why does the general public hate Taxes so vehemently? | I understand the opposition against corporate tax laws and the incredible inequality of modern tax codes. I also understand that people want to keep their money, and that it may end up being abused in the hands of some politicians, but adequate taxes are necessary for a prosperous nation. I truly don't understand why there is so much hatred towards any increase in taxes when so many government programs are vital to every day life. Why do people feel that they shouldn't have to contribute to the benefits of their nation that they use every single day? Is the idea of a nation not one of unity and support in the sake of prosperity? Should we not be contributing to research, develop, grow and build things in the sake of bettering the nation? Why would an increase in taxes now to avoid bankruptcy/default in the (near)future be so terrible, when we'll be paying for it in interest later?
I know I may be preaching to the choir here, but I truly don't understand the mindset of the other side. Am I missing something on another level?
Disclaimer: I grew up in a "socialist" nation where the health of its citizens is valued. I strongly feel that health care should be a right, people should not be forced to sell everything they own and go into debt to fight an unavoidable disease. A nation of healthy citizens is better in the economic long run, and I do not oppose paying my share.
This post is not to advocate for universal health care, just providing readers with a background to understand where I'm coming from. | Why do people expect benefits from the government without contributing an adequate amount for them? |
t3_wtedm | Pets | New to dog ownership, am I being weird? | I have had cats my whole life and recently my boyfriend decided to adopt a dog he named Zuko. I live with him and take care of Zuko as well, but I've always been a cat person so this is new to me. I like dogs a lot but I have a bit of an issue. In the past I have picked up and cuddled my cats and let them lay on my bed, however I feel uncomfortable doing this with Zuko. I am kind of weird about cleanliness and I get a little freaked when I walk the dog, see him walk where he just peed, then watch my boyfriend invite him onto the bed. I love them both but it grosses me out! He has a bit of a doggy smell too that makes me want to wash my hands after I touch him, I don't even like him to lick me (although I usually let him) because he saliva is sticky and I'm used to a cat's dry tongue. This is becoming a point of contention with my bf and I, because he likes the dog on the bed, and Zuko will still get up on the bed while we are gone.
Can anyone relate to these feelings? Will I get over them eventually? I don't like the idea of feeling stand offish towards a pet. | Having trouble getting over my compulsive cleanliness concerns with new dog. |
t3_tctau | AskReddit | I once accidentally kneed a blind midget on the side of the head, what's the worst thing you've accidentally done, and couldn't help but laugh after? | Back Story:
This is 7 years ago, I was an assistant manager at an electronics store in a mall. The only people in the store was a new guy, and me. At a point where it was pretty dead I asked the new guy if he thinks he can handle 3 minutes while I run across the hall to grab a chocolate bar, he was hesitant (5 days in) but agreed. I run over, get my chocolate bar. As I'm paying I notice a large group entered the store, so I rush back, looking at the store making sure hell rain down on the new guy. As I leave the store I whacked something REAL HARD with my knee, I look down and noticed I kneed a blind midget tying her shoes. I helped her up, and apologized profusely. I mean I felt real bad.
She then gets up and says to me: It's OK, it happens.
She said that like nothing major happened, like she's been kneed on the side of the head by a tall guy before.
At this point I felt like my insides died a little from the guilt that was building up from the laughter that was coming from that comment. I quickly appologized once more and went to the store.
That is the day I kneed a midget in the face and she said: It happens.
What's the worst accidental thing you've done but couldn't help but laugh after? | I kneed a blind midget in the face, and she replied "It happens" |
t3_2ls8nv | relationships | My (23f) boyfriend (27m) of 1.5 years just admitted that he isn't having sex with me anymore because he thinks I'm fat. | Oh man, I'm a mess.
For months now my boyfriend has been dodging my sexual advances and has rarely initiated sex on his own, which I found highly unusual since we initially had an extremely active sex life. At first I thought it was just work - he works long hours sometimes and his job is very mentally demanding - but as it continued, I thought he might be cheating on me. As far as I know, that's not the problem.
Finally a few weeks ago my frustration got the best of me and I demanded that he tell me what was going on. He said that when I try to turn him on I'm 'just annoying him'. I thought that this was progress and I could use this to figure out what to do to fix it. I asked him what annoyed him about it and he said that I act like all I want him for is sex and that I'm never interested in just being close to him. I mulled it over and figured it was reasonable - I try to have sex with him 3-4 times a week. I stopped my advances for over a week and tried today, but he wanted nothing of it.
Eventually after some talking, he admitted that he thinks I'm overweight (I've gained about 20 lbs. since we started dating). I know that I'm not as pretty as I once was, but I'm a single mother who works full time and doesn't have a lot of free time to work out. I know that I should have been eating better and at least being a bit more active, but I can't change that now. And to top it all off, I'm now 9 weeks pregnant with his child which will only make my appearance less appealing.
So what do I do? I joined a gym to try to at least control my weight gain during this pregnancy but I can't predict whether or not my body changes will further turn him away from me. What should I do? | After months of wondering why my boyfriend wasn't sexual active with me anymore, he finally admitted that he thinks I'm overweight. Although I recently joined a gym, I'm pregnant with his child so weight control will be more difficult and I'm scared that the coming body changes bound to occur will advance his dissatisfaction. |
t3_4y3xux | relationships | I [15/M] have been walking my friend [15/F] home the past few days | So the past few days, since I've started school, I've been walking my friend (15/F) of three years home. I've never done this in any previous years and I live in the opposite direction of her house. Whence get to her house, we always hug. While she doesn't hug people often, it will occasionally happen. I'm not sure if I should take this as a friendly gesture or interest.
We hang out with the same people at lunch, and I've shown more attention/interest towards her whenever we've been hanging out in a group of friends. She seems to accept it and engages with me without trying to bring friends into the conversation. I assume this means she's comfortable and not disliking the attention. I would like to ask her out, however if I get rejected then it will be very awkward with our group of friends and I don't want to ruin a good friendship. Advice? | Crush on friend of three years, what should I do? |
t3_2ackb4 | tifu | TIFU by dropping grape jelly on the couch | Apparently I dropped some grape jelly on the couch from my pp&j sandwich that I had for breakfast and my wife saw it and got pretty angry as she has had to clean up many stains throughout our marriage. She pointed to the stain and said "What is that? Is that jelly?! Oh my god!" and me in my infinite wisdom replied with "I don't think you're ready for this jelly". Right as the words escaped my mouth I knew they were not going to be well received. I don't think I have to elaborate as to what happened next but suffice it to say that I will probably be sleeping on said couch tonight. | Wife was not ready for the jelly. |
t3_2afvhr | relationships | I [28M/M] want to contact my married Ex [27 F] after 5 years - Oneitis | I am now 28, she is the same age, we broke up five years ago after an on off relationship of three years, disappointingly have not been with anyone else since. She married soon after...
The problem is I am a highly passionate and sexual guy so being in a sex drought for so long and not attracting anyone else in all that time in three different cities no less (!) has really got to my head. I am not ugly and have been called handsome and attractive, however my confidence has gone though ups and downs and I am only just starting to feel comfortable in my skin. I guess I have caught terrible oneitis due to the loneliness and disappointment of it all as well as liking her more than I let on when we were together.
My thoughts of her have been increasing and I want to contact her whilst I am temporarily living close by, to either set things straight or at least force some more closure into myself. I plan to send her a short message to open up some communication but need a good/believable excuse.
Would love to know hypothetically if you got a message from an Ex, what sort of message would sound good to and not obvious that the contact is for more serious reasons? | Bad oneitis for my ex of 5 years, want to contact her to see exactly how she feels now |
t3_3b690s | personalfinance | No debts but no money. Returning to school is expensive | I don't know if I came in the right place, but there it is...
After graduating from "business school" I worked pretty hard for about a year in my field of study with a not so bad salary. After a year, I became bored of my job, I wanted more than just sitting 8 hours long. I finally decide to return to school, start university to become a teacher! (In my field of study) I thought this was a great idea. After all, I had some investment and free debt! What could go wrong?
Well, returning to school full-time and working part-time was harder than I thought. After a semester, I quit my job in hope to succeed in school (it wasn't my best idea) But it worked, I'm doing great at school!
To help me I get student loans but didn't get much since I had a good revenue from the previous year. (Actually, it's better than that: I don't have to pay back the loan, it's more like a scholarship)
It's been a year since I started university and all my investment is gone. (Apartment/Food/Clothes/Expensive unplanned situations)
It's really hard to keep part-time job in my field and I'm scared to ask for a summer job in it.
I thought about getting a "student's job" with minimum wage and benefit the fact that I probably could keep the job after summer even if I have a training at school. But "student's job" is not a rewarding job (bonus if you work in McDonald and bonus+ if you flip the burgers). Furthermore, a teacher doing students job seems to lose all credibility.
I will get more money from my students loans this autumn (since I didn't work at all yet) and I know it's just a gap to pass. But I know I can't rely on money that I don't have yet.
For the first time, last month I didn't pay the entire bill of my credit card. Since, I stack on my credit card what I can't pay but my limit is low and interest high.
Should I get loans from my bank? | I have good credits, good grades and no debts but no money. I just don't want to fuck it up! |
t3_4g7hkf | relationships | I [27 M] met a girl [29] at a party and we hit it off. | Laugh all you want Reddit.
I went to a party tonight and ended up hitting it off with a girl that I had already met 2-3 times. I offered her a lift home and when we got there I gave her my number and told her we should hang out sometime. She takes my number down, texts me her name, says goodnight, and goes in for the kiss. I didn't realize she was going in for the kiss, I thought she was gonna kiss me on each check (a French way of saying Hello/Goodbye), so I end up kissing her on the corner of the lips. I then looked at her and said 'Ohhhhh'. Totally ruined the moment. Anticlimactic is the way to describe this situation. Very unfortunate, but in all honesty, I am shy around girls I don't know much. I almost didn't give her my number because I was shy to do it. In any case, I am here to ask you for wise advice. I am hoping I can save myself from this situation. But I also tend to screw things up by texting too much. So I am here to ask you the following questions:
Is it a deal breaker for girls that the guy doesn't read the signs right and screws up the kiss?
How long should I wait before texting her?
Should I make conversation before asking her out or should I be a straight shooter and limit the talking we do on text?
What would be a good first date for someone you barely know?
Dinner or drinks?
Any other insight would be appreciated.
Thank you, wise Redditors, and feel free to laugh at my blunder.
[ | ] : Met a girl at a party, dropped her home, she went in for the kiss but I thought she wanted to kiss me on each side of my cheeks (French custom to say goodbye to someone) and ended up kissing her on the corner of her lips and then looking at her face realizing she went for the kiss and said 'Ohhhhh'] |
t3_zckro | BreakUps | I fell in love with a fraud. Help. (X Post from Relationships) | EDIT: He gave me HPV and HSV-2
I (F26) dated this man (M31) for three months. Found out he lied, cheated over and over and gave me two stds, neither of which have cures. I feel completely defrauded and shocked. I'm scarred and stained and have lost my faith in humanity. He charmed me, told me he was head over heels in love with me. I feel dead. What the fuck. How can I get through this? THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO PART OF ME THAT WANTS HIM AT ALL. I'm not at risk to 'take him back' or anything. I'm filled with disorganized rage. If you need more details, I'll answer anything. Help please. | Fell in love with a man that essentially ruined my life |
t3_j2pbl | AskReddit | Freemium vs. paid | So I'm developing an app I want to upload to the apple app store in a couple of weeks. The only thing is I haven't been able to settle the debate between freemium and paid in my mind. I was hoping Reddit could share it's opinions on the matter.
I do indeed want to make money off of this app, ideally it would make enough money to justify further projects, if not then I would accept it and move on. I initially planned to release it as a 99 cent app, because although nifty, its pretty trivial and doesn't exactly save lives. I was also planning to release a free version as a proof of concept to show tentative purchasers that the app would indeed perform as advertised. However as I look at the app store I'm seeing a lot of apps adopting the in-app purchase model whereby you can buy individual items a la farmville and so many other "casual" games/apps. The thing is: I don't want to be THAT guy who nickel and dimes ya and I'm not sure if this makes a lot of sense business wise. The argument for a more featured free app with in-app purchases is greater word of mouth from people who would use the app but don't exactly pay for apps in the first place. Then some users might pay for 2 or 3 packs at 99 cents each which would be a better sales proposition for me. The against is that the core feature I would be leaving in the free app is the main draw and people would decide thats enough for them. Kind of like me and Pandora.
On the other hand I could just release everything onto one 99 cents app, but risk the app not getting any traction in a crowded marketplace. I've been toying with having it free for for a limited time and then having it go paid, but I can't seem to decide on what to do. | How would you price a trivial/nifty app on the app store? Also, aren't the only pirates the ones who have jailbroken their iphones? |
t3_38pof2 | Advice | I want to keep my special relationship with this woman. | So I have been friends with this girl since 7th grade and started going out with her in 8th grade she started cheating on me when I was in 9th then we broke up for two years. We kept minimal conversations going but we tried to communicate our points. This might sound weird but we had little talks but great ones. That is what interested me in trying again. I have been actively going out with her since my senior year and we have been together for almost two years. There has only been one underlying feeling and it is I still can trust her although she actually has been completely perfect. I really just don't feel it with her any more my heart is always still hurting because after that cheating time period I got very depressed and didn't hang out with anyone. So here is the real problem right now i have only had a successful relationship with the cheater that has actually changed but it has taken up 7 years of my life. I have no other friends other than her, and I always want to stay her friend but I know I can't marry this woman I have communicated this with her but it just seem like if I break up with her I will lose my only friend and have no one ever to talk to. I love her as a friend but not as a potential wife. I really am stuck on what I should do. I am about to head to work but I will keep getting back to this post please give me advice. | I am not happy with this woman but love her. We have been through a lot but only with each other. I have no one else but her and I can't lose that. I have a huge problem with trust and friendship. Give me sound advice. It is impossible to explain a relationship of seven years into so few words. |
t3_10mya4 | loseit | 20/f/240. In need of help, advice, motivation or anything that can help. | Hello Reddit, I need help. I'm just gonna cut to the chase. I'm a fatass, I've never actually realized how big I was until today. I went to try on clothes and I actually looked at myself and I was shocked, how could I have gotten so huge? It hit me like a ton of bricks, I just want to cry. I weigh more than my boyfriend. I've tried to lose weight bit I never stick with it, I either forget that I'm on a diet or I'm just too lazy. I have absolutely no energy to exercise or to even wake up in the morning to have breakfast. I work in an office and sit all day. I'm just sick of being this big.
Reddit, can you help me start my journey?
I need help on how to start it, how to stick with it. Basically whatever good tips you have I'm willing to take them. | I need advice on how to start loosing weight. I'm tired of being fat. |
t3_1vfgsk | tifu | TIFU: Getting a midnight hand job | Okay it wasn't today. It was New years eve. it only occurred to me to post this a few seconds ago.
Long story short, me and my SO spend new years eve together up in my room. We were cuddling and watchinf movies and making out and such. The typical teenager shit. Well, I got her to take her top off. One thing led TI another and I was then getting a handjob. But the thing was that she started it at around 11:50pm. We didnt keep track of time. A few minutes later and I hear my mom calling for us from downstairs to watch the ball drop together. I told her to go faster and jesus christ it was fast. Now, here is were everything goes downhill. I was leaning back in bed, and my dick was facing. Can you guess what happened? Sploog. All over my chest. I even fapped earlier to reduce my seamen but I guess it didnt matter. Anyways, some got in my mouth. Yup. And barely any got on her shirt HOWEVER we made it downstairs in time and no one suspected anything because she his the stain. | seamen tastes salty. |
t3_3qbwlw | tifu | TIFU by saying "Got it" instead of "I will" | This was a month or so ago. My dad bought a sectional on Craigslist and took me to pick it up with him. It was a 45-minute drive away. We got there, loaded it all into his truck, and took it home. When we got back and assembled it, one of the back cushions was missing. We knew we had left the seller's house with every piece. We scoured our house for it before my parents decided that it must have blown off somewhere on the road and drove off to scan the sides of the route we took.
After they had driven the route all the way one way without luck, my dad texted me to ask me to look in the driveway in case someone had put it in an odd place while unloading in the dark. My default phrase for accepting requests is "Got it," so that's what I texted him back. He replied "Cool, headed back." I went out to the driveway and looked, but the cushion wasn't there.
When my parents got home, they sat down on the sectional to relax. After a while one of them asked if I would bring the cushion over. I said sure and asked if it was in the car. They said no and looked at me in puzzlement. It took a painful minute to parse out what had happened. Obviously, my dad had taken "Got it" to mean "I found it" and headed back without looking for the cushion on the way back. It was now midnight and no one wanted to go out and look again after that letdown. We went back the next day and never found it. There's now a very conspicuously wrong-colored pillow filling in for that missing cushion, a testament to my fuck-up. | Picked up new couch, cushion missing when we get home, dad goes out to look for it along road, dad texts and asks me to look for it in driveway, I say "Got it" instead of "I will do that," dad thinks I found it, dad stops search and returns, everyone confused, then pissed, cushion still MIA. |
t3_19skkh | jobs | I need some advice | I am a 23yo about to graduate from college. I currently have a position in my university's IT department as a computer lab manager. My position does not really involve much technical skill/ability, but rather just making sure people show up to their shifts on time and doing rudimentary computer repairs on macs and PCs. I am basically one of the worker bees for my boss, who is head of the Office of Information Technology (our IT dept.). I like the job a lot; I basically work whenever I want for $9/hr. However, the job is only available to students, so my time runs out mid-August this year.
Any advice on what type of positions I might be able to get after I graduate? I basically just want to make enough money to pay bills because I am involved in a lot of creative projects that I plan on pursuing. I live in a mid-sized city in the south-eastern US. Thanks! | I am about to graduate. I have IT managerial experience but I have no idea what kind of job I can get within the next year. |
t3_2g2cgj | relationships | [21/f] Friends have been telling me for a while I should break up with my b/f [21/m], now I'm starting to question if that might indeed be the best move? | Since the beginning, he's been really bad at scheduling things though. Like we'll make plans a few days in advance, I'll have to remind him and when I say I have an issue with being his 'mom' in that sense, he guilt-trips me. This weekend I went out drinking with him and some friends, during which he made no apparent effort to sit near me or even be around me, and frequently would just leave with someone outside.
That is nothing new. I have been putting up with it since the start, among other things, choosing not to fight a losing battle. He said he'd see me tomorrow after class as well as Friday. He forgot about Friday already, and said he might not be able to do tomorrow due to scheduling conflicts with his class. I get that's out of his control, but I'm just wondering why I should stop myself from hanging out with other nice guys when this is just the start of the semester, and every time something like this happens he guilt-trips me for even being sad and will almost excuse it by saying school is very important to him.
I do love him and enjoy spending time with him, but have the circumstances changed enough that I should break up with him, or at least have a serious discussion? | Should I have a serious talk with him, break it off, or continue putting up with his careless behaviour? |
t3_3sdu0t | dating_advice | My best friend and I are kinda into the same dude... | So my best friend and this guy used to be really good friends years back before I knew them, and they actually banged a time or two and then he went off and dated someone else who he ended up having two kids with. Flash forward to now, he is single and coming back around as her friend, and so we all hung out a couple times. He recently started talking to me and now is adamant that he wants to take me out. I swore from the beginning that I wasn't even gonna go there because of the history between him and my best friend, but I ended up clicking with him much better than I ever expected and more than I have with anyone in a while. The problem is that my best friend is still kinda into him, and even if she says it's okay, I know there's a chance that deep down she's going to be really butthurt that this is the second guy friend of ours that she used to bang that wants to actually date me (the first guy and I did not go there, we kept it strictly friends). And also a chance she'll secretly punish both of us or resent me if I were to accept his offer. She's also a huge grudge holder and can be slightly petty at times when she feels people have wronged her. She asked me why I don't date him before he started talking to me and I told her because it wasn't like that with us(because it really wasn't) and they have history so he's off limits anyways. And she tried to play it off like she didn't care and none of that mattered but I couldn't tell if she was forreal or not. So now he wants to talk to her and find a way for her to be okay with it, and I just don't see it happening and I won't risk my friendship with her for a dude, but this could be a really good thing for me, and I think him and I could have a shot at working out long term. Am I a terrible friend for even considering it? Or is there some way to go about this where everyone comes out on top? | My best friend introduced me to her friend who she had sex with years and years ago. She still kind of has feelings for him but he's made it clear he's not into her now, and that he wants to date me. Am I wrong for considering it? Or is there a way for everyone to end up happy? |
t3_3ziivt | relationships | Me (21, M),My Sister ( 20, F) and her Boyfriend (21, M) Controlling Her | So as the title states my sister has been seeing this guy for about 3 months and I honestly have no problem with it, i know she is her own person and she need to live and learn. But she just texted me a question asking, " Is it okay to have (Boyfriend) tell me that I can't hang out with other guys." So from experience I know that question is somewhat of a red flag when having your partner tell you that.But Im not necessarily asking for advise in terms of how to handle the matter from my point of view. I would like for Reddit to tell me how you guys would handle it if you were in her shoes. Because I understand that I can't tell her what to do but I can make suggestions in order to hopefully guide her in a path that prevents bad decisions from occurring. But I'm all ears guys and/ or girls. | Sister's Boyfriend is telling her not to hang around with other guys and need opinions on how Reddit would handle it if you guys were in her shoes. |
t3_32rsyx | relationships | My [18 M] girlfriend [18 F] of 5 months is getting really close to a guy that she was crazy about | Hey All,
My girlfriend and I started dating about 5 months ago now and, for the few months leading up to that, she a had HUGE crush on one of the guys that lived on my floor in our dorm. She was really, really into him and pretty much everyone who lived in my building (~125 people) knew that she was head-over-heels for him. Then, kind of out of nowhere, we started hooking up and after a month decided to start dating.
Fast forward to a couple months ago, and she is starting to become really close with the guy ("Dan"). It made me pretty uncomfortable that he was becoming one of her best friends and doing things like getting dinner where it was just the two of them (although that only happened a couple of times) when she had just wanted to date him really badly and was super into him just a couple months before then. I brought it up to her and she found it completely unreasonable that I would feel uncomfortable at all. So I've been trying to ignore everything and make myself live with it their friendship.
Today, however, one thing made me feel uncomfortable and I let her know. The two of them are going to a play soon as a trip for one of their classes, but they were only really friends with each other out of everyone in class, so I knew they'd be together all night. While we were eating dinner, my girlfriend said, "I hope Dan looks nice at the play since I'm going to be with him all night."
That statement made me feel a little uncomfortable considering she really liked this guy and was now hoping he'd look good for her. I told her that and she got really made at me, saying that she shouldn't have to deal with stuff like this and that they're just friends. I really love this girl, but I just don't know what to do at this point. I feel like my point of view is being completely disregarded in favor of her own, with no compromise being made at all. I'm starting to think about breaking off the relationship, but I'd really like to avoid doing that. Would any of you be able to help me out? | My girlfriend is now best friends with a guy she was really, really into before she started dating me. She gets mad when I tell her that I'm uncomfortable with it. |
t3_zqt7r | relationship_advice | is it true that "if he cheats with you he will cheat on you"? | ages:25 length of relationship: known each other for 2.5 months.
I (25 F)moved into a new apartment complex about 2 months ago. Naturally I befriended some of my neighbors. My neighbor, lets call him John (25), and I instantly hit it off..there was obvious chemistry between the two of us. After a few weeks of being friends he introduced me to a couple of his friends and we all get along super well, they always tell me how much they love me. We'll John started getting more flirty with me over time but nothing too serious because he had a girlfriend at the time. But, about a week ago he kissed me. I knew he had a girlfriend and told him that nothing would happen between us until he is single. He apologized and told me he's never cheated on a girl before but he and his girlfriend have been having really bad problems for months (i've even met his girlfriend and it's obvious they are terrible together..his friends have even encouraged him to end things with her its so bad). Two days ago he broke up with his girlfriend..and then he kissed me again. REALLY kissed me. I don't know if I can trust him though. I know it sounds silly because he cheated with me...but doesnt that mean there is a good he chance he will cheat on me? | Friend kissed me when he had a girlfriend. Broke up with said girlfriend and now wants to pursue relationship with me. I'm afraid he will cheat. |
t3_2sl01t | relationships | I [24, M] need help with my getting over my ex [19, F] | Hey r/relationships, I need your help. No matter how hard I try, I can't get over my ex.
We dated for 6 months, but got to know each each over the course of a year and a half, those 6 months included. Contacting each other EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. over those 18 months, we grew extremely close. We've been broken up for a little over a year now, and no matter what I do, I can't get her off my mind.
I constantly think about her, and for the small amount of time throughout each day that I'm not thinking of her, I see someone or something that almost immediately reminds me of her, and the cycle continues.
I'm still in love with this girl, and I don't know what to do to get over her and stop thinking about her. I seriously need y'all's help. | Still hung up over ex I'm in love with. How do you get over someone who you can't stop thinking about/get off your mind? |
t3_29vgt9 | relationship_advice | (19m)Becoming friends with benefits with ex(17f), good idea or bad? | We are pretty much acting the same way around each other as when we were together, but we aren't committed to each other. She broke up with me because she can't emotionally handle a relationship right now, and in her own words "scared that I am someone she would want to be with for the rest of her life and she would never know what other people are like." Am I being used? She says that she is miserable without me, but she doesn't think about me as much as she used to (when we were together). She thinks about other people. It seems like she is just really scared of commitment, and it may just be her age (like a faze). She hasent had any luck hooking up with other people (they think she's too young). I don't know how to respond to her wanting to be FWB, since I don't know what is good for both of us, since I still love her. Though I have excepted that she isn't ready for a relationship. | She wants to fuck and act the same way, but can't commit. Am I being used because I'm convenient and she hasn't had any luck hooking up with other people? |
t3_1t15pa | relationships | On asking permission while in a relationship. | I need a ruling here, or at least a little guidance. For context, I am 27m, fiance is 25f. We've been together just over two years and engaged for a couple months. We live together. We've been having an issue since getting engaged that is concerning me about the future.
Simply put, I like being able to do some things without asking for permission first. Like going out with my friends, having a drink after work with co-workers, or spending money that I put aside for certain things.
My fiance gets mad at me if I make plans or do things alone without 'running it by her first' (she is artful to not use the word 'permission'). I try to be considerate, and don't make plans with others when she and I have something going on and I do give her advance notice so that she can make plans of her own. This also doesn't happen often; I probably hang out with friends twice a month and go out with co-workers once a month. We spend most of our time together.
She says that now that we are engaged that things are different, and married couples do not make plans without each other. Most of our coupled friends do have that 'husband asks wife permission for everything' dynamic, but that's not appealing to me. It wasn't like this before we got engaged.
I also see it coming up in other areas too, like money. My computer died over the summer and I spent a few months saving up for a new one. When I bought it (on cyber Monday) she said to me "I hope you don't plan to spend money like that when we're married." I work full time and put cash aside for months to buy it. I understand that essential things get paid for first, but I feel like we should be able to save up for and buy things that we want, so long as bills and important things aren't neglected.
Is this normal? Are married people expected to run everything by their spouses to make sure it's ok? | To what extent do married people still get to make individual decisions? |
t3_11i7e9 | loseit | New and exciting gym ideas needed! | Hi all,
Just found r/loseit and you guys couldn't have come at a better time!!
Between January and July I lost 30lbs, 170 to 140 5'7" female. Lost it for my sisters wedding but since her big day I've allowed it to creep back on again. I now fluctuate between 143-147. I want to get down to 135 at the very least so this last 10lb needs to go!!
I'm getting my bum back to the gym tonight after work but am not looking forward to it as much as I used to. My usual routine has become too... routine I guess!! Ideas on how to spice it up and make it exciting again? | new exciting gym ideas? |
t3_3ivya4 | relationships | Me [20 M] feel like my fiancee [19 F] is losing feelings and doesn't care? | Hello r/relationships.
So this is my first time here and I'm using a throwaway for obvious reasons.
Some background info: We have a smaller type of LDR (3 hours away by train) of 3 years (5 months engagement), which have never really caused too much of an issue as we have been working very hard to make it work even though school, work and other thing that might have come in the way. We have always been there for each-other and been supportive to ensure that everything is good for both of us.
To get to the issue, my great-grandmother have been quite bad for the past year, going back and fro to the hospital and retirement home (she was living in her own apartment at the beginning of the year). Today I found out that she was dying and I went to see her. I've been having a rather tough day and it's so hard to deal with, on top of numbing down most of my feelings as a reaction. However when it first happened all that I got as a response from my fiancee was that "that's fucking sad" and "this is fucking scary" only to not hear from her for hours. Apparently she had gone to a bar with a friend and completely ignored me for hours, only to come back and say that she "was there" only to leave again. Once she got back I did tell her exactly what I feel about the issue where as all she answered was "I'm a busy persom", which really made me question her priorities, feeling and empathy for me.
So my question is, am I overreacting or over analyzing this whole situation, or what should I do about it? This whole week and day have been crazy and I'm not sure if I'm thinking straight about it. | Great-grandma is dying, fiancee only has "that's fucking sad" to say and that "she's a busy person". Is this acceptable behavior? |
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