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t3_33fst0 | relationships | I [m/23] struggld to communicate with her [f/25] and I am not sure how to improve. | We have been dating for about 4 or 5 months now. For the most part we get along really amazingly. Our sex life is great and we make each other laugh and smile every day.
However communication wise, we are not a match. I am a very verbal person. If i want to say i love you i will simply say it. She on the other hand shows her love with actions rather than words. If she wants to say i love you, she will buy me a gift or she will say i love you only during a very intimate moment. Like during or after sex and when we are with her family and she sees how much they like me she will whisper it in my ear. For the most part its fine. I dont need to hear I love you everyday but sometimes after a long days work its nice to hear.
Last night is an example of when our communication fails. We had a little fight and i apologised and meant it. And she said nothing. She isnt good at expressing her thoughts but when i apologised and explained how much she means to me and she says nothibg, to me that meant she disagreed or didn't appreciate my honesty.
I am not blaming this on her at all. I do wish i didnt need to speak for the both of us sometimes but its who she is and i adore her a lot.
I am just here to ask if there is anything I can do to make our communication better and two sided? Should I just be patient and hope she starts to open up more or do i not accept her quietness? | A girl i am seeing doesn't express her feelings the way i am used to. Is there a way i can help her express herself or do i just need to be more understanding and patient? |
t3_12pfu9 | dating_advice | Me 22/M wondering if its a good idea to tell girl (20/F) my feelings toward her over IM rather than in person. | Note that this account is a throw away account on the fact that the girl mentioned that she uses reddit.
So, the question is simple enough, except there is slight catch. The catch is that I'm not sure (due to mixed signals) if she has an interest in me or not and at this point in time I am not too sure if I will get the chance to see her again.
I have already mentioned that I wanted to see her, but she replied by saying that she is busy for the next two weeks. Now, I am worried that when 2 weeks pass and then I ask her again, she will simply give me another excuse. So, I am wondering if its a good idea to express my thoughts and feelings through a keyboard (IM) or wait for a possible chance to tell her in person.
Side question: I feel that I am in a sort of speak "relationship stalemate". This may sound stupid, but at this time I am blocking myself from meeting new people due to not knowing what her true feelings are. So, I guess you can say I would like to know as soon as possible, but do you think that patience will pay off, or should I just mention how I feel the next time I IM her.
Not sure if this would help, but from day one of meeting this girl, she has been giving me nothing but mixed signals. She firsts says she wants to be friends (which usually translates to I am not interested in a polite way), to wanting to meet up, twice. Then reminding me, she wants to be friends, then agreeing to meet up another time about a month later.
There's something different about this girl and I wouldn't want to mess this one up (no pressure, lol), so any advice is greatly appreciated, thanks in advance. | Not sure if I would get the chance to meet up with the "girl of my dreams" so should I wait for a possible chance to meet up with her, or tell her through IM how I feel the next time I IM her. |
t3_2kydmh | relationships | I [20F] have something going on with my professor [37M] | Ever since the semester started we kicked it off great and I started becoming more and more interested in him. We have a lot of things in common, and on an intelectual level we are quite similar.
It all started one day, about mid-semester. We were chatting after class and he asked me if I would like to join him for lunch. I did, and we stayed there until 6:30pm. Then he drove me home. We would talk sometimes on FB but nothing personal or "weird", it's always very academic.
One day we all had to message him for a mark, which I did, and he answered telling me something about a song I had previously posted on my FB. We talked about music for about an hour then. The last day we talked (outside of class) he apologised for having read my message but not answering faster (he took about four days).
Lately, though, I feel like he has become a bit distant. I can't really ask him, but it's been playing on my mind. I don't know if it's because the semester has not ended yet or because he doesn't want to give me the wrong impression. In any case, I have been thinking about asking him to get coffee and have a chat we had pending (History related). Would that be too much, as it feels more like a date? I'm just incredibly confused
Any input is appreciated :) | confused about whether my professor is just nice or he is genuinely interested in me, and if I should ask him out. |
t3_2q89iz | relationships | What can I [F/20] do to help my mum [F/48] and our relationship? | My Mum and I have never had an easy relationship. Despite loving each other to bits (no one is as important to me as she and my brother are), we have had more than our fair share of conflict. All our attempts to communicate with each other end in arguments so nothing ever gets resolved between us.
Since I have been away at university things have become even more tense. We are more emotionally alienated from each other than before, not least because of the physical distance between us.
For the past two years, I have been suffering from anxiety. Although my Mum knew I was having problems, I could not sufficiently communicate them to her. It was only a fortnight ago that I sent her an email explaining things better. Besides that, there are other things concerning both of us, such as my outstanding university work.
Yesterday I arrived home for Christmas and, I swear, you can cut the tension with a knife. We have barely spoken with each other and when we have, I have snapped at her (I don't mean to, I just feel so tense).
I want to reach out to my Mum but I don't know how. She is so temperamental and I cannot read her so I'm terrified of saying something that will make her angry or upset or cause an argument. It's really important to me that I don't ruin another holiday for us (especially not a Christmas one) or that I feel as though I can't wait to get back to university and escape again.
In addition to the issues between ourselves, I just get the feeling that my mum isn't very happy (the reasons for this I can only imagine are the usual - job and other interpersonal relationships but I fear there may be bigger issues underneath). I want for her to open up to me and for me to be able to make things better for her but I dont know how to approach the subject. I dont want her to think me intrusive or patronising.
I really want to make things better. I am sick of home not feeling like home. | I love my mum to bits but things are so tense between us, how do I reach out to her and clear the air? Especially as we both have ongoing emotional issues? |
t3_vr8gv | AskReddit | I have heard many Redditors talking about how their girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with them, and told everyone a different story. Does anybody else have stories like this? [Resubmission; it was late at night] | I'll go first. I was in the 5th grade, and a girl asked me out over Yahoo! Messanger. She said that lots of guys were after her and that I have to hurry with my decision; I said yes. The relationship went well for the first few days until she got a little too comfortable.
She kept slapping me in the face because that was her idea of playing/flirting. I told her to stop but as a kid, she didn't. I got tired of it and broke up with her. Ironically, she slapped me and stormed away. She started telling everyone that she broke up with me because I was ugly and kept slapping her...wow. All the girls at recess kept chasing me everyday and beating the living fuck out of me.
Later on, she tried to make me jealous by going out with my best friend and hugging him when I came around. She even wrote poems about me and read them to the class; "AculticFly is so ugly, he looks like the grinch. Blah, blah, blah." I didn't show any interest, so she cut my with a rusty bobby-pin then forced a hug on me, on the last day of school. | Broke up with crazy girlfriend. She told everyone she broke up with me, and went psycho-bitch on me. |
t3_354nvq | relationships | I [25/M] was in a minor car accident yesterday, and my wife's [25/F] response left me feeling insecure. Not sure how to respond. | Backstory: Yesterday morning on my way to work, I got into a minor rear-end accident (fortunately no one was hurt). But sadly, it left the front of my cheap commuter car damaged to the point where it was not worth the cost of repair.
It wasn't too much to handle, and since my wife was at work for the day already, I decided not to tell her until she got home so as to not stress her out.
When she got home (I took the rest of the day off) and I told her what happened, her first reaction was concern for my well-being and that felt good. However...
About a half-hour later, I noticed that she was starting to text her parents about what happened. I asked her to hold on the text, since the dust was still settling, I was still processing what happened, and I did not feel comfortable letting anyone else we know (family/friends) what happened yet.
This was really hard for her to take--she told me she's an external processor and needs to talk to other people to work things through emotionally. That is a very core need for her, she said.
This is contradictory to my core need of feeling secure between the two of us as a couple, as a sanctuary from the world. To go and tell her parents less than a half-hour after I told her what happened, feels to me like a leak in an window. At least, I feel, give me a day or two to process things myself, between just the two of us, before we open it up to the world.
We're at a loss of how to resolve this between us. She feels resentful that she's giving in on her core need to process by talking things through with others, because I want her to wait a bit.
Also, she is mad at me for not telling her right after the accident happened and waiting instead until she got home.
So... how do I work with this? Am I expecting too much? I want to find balance.
Thanks for your perspective. | Got into an accident. Didn't tell my wife until she got home from work, which she's mad about (I didn't want to stress her out). |
t3_fjky0 | AskReddit | DAE Want to Be a Vigilante With Me? (Serious Post) | Long story short I have spent the better part of the morning on the phone with a lady friend who is in absolute shambles. Apparently last night her best friend confessed that she and her sisters were molested by a family member from early infancy until their early adolescence. What has my lady friend so upset is the fact that none of the girls have apparently spoken about this horrendous abuse to other family members or authorities. Another factor I find odd is that lady friend described her friend's demeanor as "not caring" when questioned about not speaking up about the abuse. If that is the case thought, this evil fuck has been walking around for decades molesting his OWN family. *slowly puts on Punisher T-shirt*
I've always tried to live by the whole mentality of "The only thing for evil to triump is for good men to do nothing" motto but what the hell do I do in this situation? I would love to don the Batman cowl and go kung-fu his ass right into a jail cell but short of lady friend's bff going to the authorities, what can be done? Is there a 1-800-Pedobear # to call? But seriously, if this monster did commit these horrible acts to these girls he needs to be behind bars for what he did. | GF is super upset about friend's confession about decade long molestation by family member. Need advice on how to procede. Ultimate goal is to see the sick fuck behind bars. |
t3_38o6mb | relationships | Me [25m] with my gf [24f]. Having problems with her showing effort. | On mobile, sorry for format errors.
So I'm kind of at a loss here. My gf and I have been together for 6 months. When we first started dating everything was fine, we live about an hours and a half from each other but made effort to see each other at least twice a week.
About three months ago we started having problems (she has chronic depression and grew up with a narcissistic mother). Since then I've been putting in all of the effort in our relationship. I text her every morning, do anything I can to cheer her up, give words of affirmation. Everything I should do. But I haven't gotten much back.
She told me before that she was the one putting in all the effort in her last relationships. But not with me. She says she loves me and sees a life together but I have to just about beg just to hold her hand. She doesn't even greet me with a hug or kiss when she sees me. When I try, she stretches or does something else and I stand there waiting like an idiot.
She's not a really physical kinda person, and I'm not either really. But it would be nice to have at least a normal amount of affection from her. At least meet me in the middle ya know. I don't know why it makes me feel as bad as it does. We've talked about this before and she said that I was asking for too much at once and that she was so burnt out on trying so hard that she didn't wanna get comfortable. But it's been 6 months and I've done nothing but be a good partner.
And our sex life is almost non existent. We don't see each other all the time but she doesn't even make an effort to be intimate with me anymore. I literally have to ask. Most of the time I get denied. And she tells me she's attracted to me.
I just want her to actually see what she's doing and try just as hard as me. There will be good days and she will try but it's always just a day or two. I'm in a relationship and I still feel alone. I just don't know what to say or do anymore. Thank you for any advice. | Gf doesn't put in enough effort, has me feeling sad. |
t3_3thew2 | tifu | TIFU by thinking I was a ballerina | So there I was, maybe 6 years old, being 6 and generally a menace to society (I was NOT a good child). I had this cat, and I wanted that cat to love me. She did, from a distance.
Anyway, one day I was twirling around in my room, performing my sweetest dance moves for the cat, when she says, "Fuck you, I'm out", and heads for the door. Super Ballerina Bajileh goes, "Naw, you're watching me forever", and does a great flying twirl and kicks the door shut. Cat got out, but there was a little black puffball on the ground. I cut off the tip of her tail with a door...She didn't hate me forever, but I feel terrible, 16 years later. | Accidentally cut off the tip of my cats tail being a moron. |
t3_3ck8kb | relationships | Help! I found out that my girlfriend watches daddy/daughter porn. I am concerned for her and a little disturbed. | Me (25m) and my so (22f) have been going out for little over a year and are very serious. We have been saving ourselves for marriage, but have varying levels of sexual history (I have none and she may have had some previous oral experiences). My GF has made it very clear that she wants religion to be part of relationship and keep things "pure" which I am okay with since I want that as well. From time to time she will chastise me for "going to far" (which is not really all that far) and I back off because I know she is right. This has kind of bothered me because she has been further with another man,but that is her past and I am worried about our future. The other day I was on her computer and I found that she had been watching porn, which I understand girls watch it too, but that's not what concerns me; its the type of porn. She was watching father/daughter incest stuff. I find this disturbing. Especially because her dad left when she was a kid and she has had a stepdad since she was 10. Does this type of fetish mean she is attracted to him specifically or just the power dynamic? Does she need help? Am I overreacting? | religious girlfriend watches father daughter incest porn. What should I do? |
t3_305b5z | tifu | TIFU by trying to not disturb a guest | I'm a college student, and I had an essay deadline this morning. Naturally I was leaving it until the last minute as any good student should, so I pulled an all-nighter - and of course that involves taking on lots of energy drinks. Soon I reached the point where I needed a piss, and badly. On any other day I would have gone downstairs and used our toilet. But today was not any other day.
One of the guys I share a house with had a mate over, and he was staying on our downstairs sofa. I'd already disturbed him once when I went down to get the aformentioned drinks so I felt really guilty about disturbing him again, but I really needed a piss. I was contemplating going out of the window, or into the dehumidifier's water collection tray, when I remembered a post from r/AskReddit I'd see where a mother reported finding bottles of piss under her son's bed and a lightbulb went off.
As it happens, I have loads of water bottles lying about in my room, so I grab one, do my business and bin it. All well and good, but later in the evening I needed another piss. No problem - just use another water bottle! Once I filled this one, I stood up, reached for the cap for the bottle, but forgot the laws of physics and accidentally tipped it onto my laptop. My laptop with my work due in this morning on it... What the hell have I done?
I'm very greatful for synched online cloud storage - I didn't lose too much of my work and I was able to finish my essay on my spare old laptop that I had just for occasions like this. Gotta hope my main one isn't a writeoff though. | Tried to be courteous and not wake up a guest sleeping on our sofa - ended up pouring a bottle of my own piss over my laptop. |
t3_34shbj | relationships | Me [26 M] and my MIL [52 F] have different views of toilet paper usage. | OK, so my in-laws are generally wonderful people, with the exception of this one issue. It's honestly such a ridiculous thing that I just find the fact that it frustrates me at all makes me even more frustrated, if that makes, sense.
Well, whenever I take a shit, I like to wipe my ass, drop the used paper in the toilet, and then flush like a normal human. My MIL routinely berates me for not using the little trash can by the toilet; she says you're supposed to drop the paper in the toilet until you're about "halfway done" and thenceforth drop it in the little trash can. It's gotten to the point where she'll rush into the bathroom immediately after I've finished to see whether I used the trash can.
With all the constant shouting I am considering getting a hotel room next time we go to visit; am I in the wrong? | MIL wants me to drop used toilet paper in the trash instead of in the toilet; I refuse to do it. |
t3_uf7ir | relationships | How do I get my boyfriend to stop worrying that I am going to cheat on him? | Me F(19) dating M(19) for 2 years and a bit. Amazing relationship and everything, I love him to death. We're long distance but close enough that we see each other on the weekends, whether I visit him or vice versa. From what I can remember things were good for the first 2 years or so but recently both of our confidence levels have decreased. However I worry more about what could possibly happen in the future, i.e. falling out of love, him finding someone else, etc. But I never really think that he's cheating on me or would ever cheat on me. Whereas recently when I go out with friends he worries that I am cheating on him physically. Even though he says that he trusts me and I tell him all the time that I love him and would never do anything to hurt him.
Granted he has exams coming up right now and gets more worried when he's all stressed out. But he keeps saying he's 'scared of me' and worries that he loves me too much and says he doesn't want to get hurt. I just don't know what to do about it...I've tried everything I could think of but I just don't know how to prove to him that I would never do that and calm his worries. What do you think reddit?
P.S. Breaking up is NOT an option in case there's any radical extremists. And no he is not the one cheating and projecting it onto me or any psychological stuff like that. | Been dating for a little more than 2 years, recently boyfriend started worrying more and more that I am cheating on him or will cheat on him, even though we have a very trusting relationship and I have never done anything to make him think this. How can I show him how much I love him and make him stop worrying? |
t3_k12ct | AskReddit | Why are some people so defensive/weird when it comes to musical interests? | My cousin and I are very close and we talk a lot over the phone (he lives pretty far away) and one night we came to the topic of his musical taste: rap. Being a white kid in northern California, I told him I didn't like it. He ended up going on and on as to how anyone could *not* like rap and became VERY defensive on the topic so I quickly got out of it by talking about some video game.
Just recently, I went down to visit him and was driving him around in the car playing Dubstep/Drum and Bass when he told me to constantly turn it down and to, "Turn that shit off." and it ended up just being a really weird car ride after I had turned it off.
I've also noticed that whenever someone plays something besides rap or an artist he doesn't like, he just acts really weird, it is hard to explain.
What the hell is going on here reddit? | My cousin is defensive when it comes to anyone else's musical taste. |
t3_1h5m5o | legaladvice | Accused of providing Alcohol to a minor.. (DE) | So a few weeks ago I (21M) met some friends and we hung out a few times. There was this girl who was pretty cool, she told me she was 18 and we started talking on Facebook. I joked around about buying her alcohol, and it was just really casual language.
So she was at my house one day and I was drinking some beer. I guess she took one, without my permission, and drank half of it. I took it from her when i found out.
Her mom calls me a few day's later, and it turns out she has some illness and is taking medication and she was actually 15, and i didn't know either of these things. Nothing sexual happened, an I tried explaining it to her but she didn't listen. She threatened to call the police if i didn't leave the girl alone, so i removed her from friends and deleted all messages between us.
2 weeks go by and her stepfather messages me this:
Now I don't have any records of what I sent to her; how much trouble can you get in if the event happened 2 weeks ago. She didn't tell her parents i did, but it might've came out over the messages but i don't remember. | Can i be arrested for providing alcohol to a minor if the only evidence is a Facebook message, and the minor denies the alcohol? |
t3_s77jr | AskReddit | My neighbour has asked me to keep my cat in during the day, because he is agitating the neighbourhood dogs | basically she called me up, had a massive whinge and is trying to guilt trip me into not letting my cat out during the day and keep him locked inside at all times, because she has a husband who is a shiftworker (he works away, presumably at a minesite, for 3 weeks then gets 1 week off etc) and apparantly a sick daughter, who constantly suffers from migraines.
apparantly my lil man [Pretzel] is constantly (and by her words purposefully) going round to their house and riling up the dogs so they bark nonstop. now i dont hear this at all btw. some morning i sit out the front with him, and watch him just roll in some dirt and eat some leaves before he gets bored and walks back inside. im not saying his presence does not make dogs go crazy, it probably does. but i digress. She tells me this non stop barking is dricing her husband insane, and that he cant sleep. also her daughters migraines are basically unbearable and there is not anything she can do about the pain.
however if i keep my cat inside all day, he gets shitty and takes it out on my stray [Cat Sith] as you can see there. | being guilt tripped into locking my cat inside at all times, who wants to go outside, and has been doing so for almost his entire life. what do? |
t3_1qj96v | personalfinance | Student Loan Refinance | We assumed that we'd be given an opportunity to consolidate my wife's student loans so we took the pay only interest for the first four years option. Now we realize it's a 10 year load with 6 years left and all of the principle remaining. Not the payments have ballooned up from $120 to $370 a month. The rate is 5.8% on most of the loan and 6.2% on a small chunk.
We found a credit union that will refinance and consolidate at 4.75% over 15 years. But it's a variable rate. That will be much better for us right now, but do rate project to stay low down the road? | 5.8%-fixed over 6 years v. 4.75%-variable over 15 years. |
t3_34pim6 | tifu | TIFU by not properly ejecting my USB flashdisk | this FU happened less than an hour ago.
I was copying a file from my laptop to my USB flashdisk, so that i could plug it into my family's desktop, so that i could print it.
aftr copying from laptop --> USB, i plugged out my USB stick out without clicking the "safely remove hardware" thing.
after plugging it in to my family's desktop, a window popped up and says "please insert a disk to removable disk (E:).
first i tought that my desktop's usb ports are faulty, so i plugged it in to my laptop again, and the same thing occured. | USB stick got broken because i did not properly eject it. |
t3_3hr9d8 | relationship_advice | I [late 20s/f] a teacher who has piles of take-home work every day. My brother [early 20s] constantly asks me to help him with his homework. How do I manage to help him without working myself to death? | I am a high school teacher who is always incredibly busy during the school year. My day starts at 7 am and usually doesn't end until 7pm. There are always reports to write, papers to grade, meetings and conferences to attend, lessons to plan, etc. During the school year, I rarely have time to do things for myself because I have at least 3 different classes to prep for, so I'm always using my Saturdays and Sundays planning lessons and grading papers. Friday, from 3- bedtime is my only "chill time."
My brother is currently an undergrad student and works about 30 hours a week. I was able to help him with his papers/assignments frequently this summer because I had more free time. Now that I'm moving to my own place and the school year is starting again, he knows I won't be able to help him as often as I used to. He wants to come over every Friday when I'm done with work so I can edit his papers and assignments. I understand that he appreciates my editing skills, but this kills me because the only "me time" I get during the week is Friday after work.
I want him to do well, but I don't want to work myself to death. What can I do to solve this issue? | I am a full-time teacher who works 70+ hours a week and my brother wants me to use my "me time" to read and edit his essays/written assignments. I want to help him, but I also don't want to stress myself out. How can I manage this? |
t3_1akvy6 | relationships | Boyfriend [17m] turns 18 tomorrow. His nan [Not sure F] and mother [39F] are coming over. Do i [17F] have the right to leave due to their rudeness? | Boyfriend and i have known each other since we were 15.
His mum is a controlling bitch (His words.) which has severely fucked up their relationship, and we're now living together due to her abusiveness.
His nan is just extremely rude, asking me constantly if i'm pregnant, if i say "No." I get "Well you look it."
She's constantly making little snide comments about my weight (I take after my dad's side of the family, who is big, i've lost a lot of weight due to going to the gym and dieting, but i still have a little to go). She complains that i do nothing, even though she actually hasn't been around me, or my house to know if i do anything or not.
They're coming over tomorrow for my boyfriend's 18th, and lately all SO and his mum have been doing is fighting. Knowing her, and how controlling / abusive she is, it's an 85% chance that she will completely fuck his day, he's said though, that if she even tries, he will immediately ask her to leave.
Is it right for me to want to not be there / actually not be there while his mother and nan are there due to their rudeness?
I want to be there to support my boyfriend, in case she does start a fight, but i really can't deal with their rude comments at the moment due to depression. | Is it wrong for me to want to go out on my boyfriends 18th due to his rude nan and mother? |
t3_220u22 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my gf [20 F] of two years, just broke up and I fear I won't be able to find anyone like her. | So me and my girlfriend have been together for over two years and due to certain circumstances we had to break up. This really though is not the problem as it was expected to be honest.
The thing is that I really don't think I will be able to find anyone better than her. She was great and everything someone could ask and look for in a partner. We had great communication, we had fun together, she was beautiful, extremely smart, the sex was great and most importantly we loved each other a lot. Now I know I might be a bit biased but those things were true and I am not exaggerating. I can view and judge things clearly.
So my concern now is that now that it is over how will I be able to find something equally fulfilling and challenging? Statistically the chances are really low. Even if I do find someone whom I can make it work with, it will still be a struggle to reach the point of compassion and trust I had with her or even if it is possible at all and even if it is actually worth the effort and time to pursuit such goals and search for a partner.
I guess I am just frustrated and confused. I really don't know what I am supposed to do now and if there is point in dating anymore. I know I won't be able to find a partner who will love and care for me the same way as she did and someone who I can give those feelings back.
Excuse my English, it is not my native tongue and thank you in advance for your feedback. | Just broke up with my gf and I fear there is no point in dating anymore for me |
t3_lu06j | AskReddit | Why is religion in the US so important? O.o | Hi there.
I am from europe and browsing trough subtopics like r/atheism make me think: WTF?! Why is religion so important in the US?
I actually just know one guy in my age who is religous^^
I don´t want to insult you and your homecountry, but it seems to me, like the US handles religion, if its still 1100 or something.
Especially that George W. Bush called the iraq war a "crusade"
shocked me pretty hard.
In the middle age people said in their stupidity "DEIUS VULT" (latin for God wants it) and commited genocide and so on...
It´s part of the progress to stop believing in such things and accept what the science reached, but it seems to me, like the US stopped the progress for whatever reason...
Nearly everything would be better without religion or atleast just with less. | Why do so many people believe in God in the US?! |
t3_4b4x7i | relationships | My SO [21M] of 2 years all of a sudden hates me [22F] | My significant other of 2 years randomly started to be hateful towards me, telling me to go fuck off and whatnot. Nothing has changed, I'm very loyal and I love him dearly. He tells me to leave him alone, I understand his job is stressful, but when I ask, he says it's not because of me or because of work- he just simply wants to be left alone. I've left him alone to my best ability for several days now- and he still treats me with distaste and says some really hurtful things. I don't know what happened. I asked him if he was cheating and he got angry / defensive and said he didn't do shit and to go fuck myself. I don't know what is provoking such anger from him, but I've been so depressed because of this. I don't want to give up on him because I feel as if that would be me leaving him at his worst- but this emotional abuse is taking a toll on me. What should I do? | Boyfriend of 2 years randomly told me to fuck off and for a couple of days now has been treating me like shit |
t3_4z4apo | relationships | I [22M] don't know if I should make a move on my coworker [20F] before she goes back to school. | So I've been working with this girl for a few months and she'd always seem excited to see me but I never really thought anything of it because I'd only be able to see her like once a week or so. It wasn't till this past week that I was able to work with her for a few days and get to know her a bit that I felt mutual interest. Now I kinda want to ask her out thing is she's going back to college next week and I think i missed my window.Her college is only an hour and a half away so it wouldn't be that bad but I don't think thats a way to start a relationship.
Would it be best to ask her out before she leaves and go on one date to see how it goes, ask her if she'd like to go out when she comes back in december, or just wait till december and ask her out? Assuming there's still an interest between us | want to ask out girl but she is going back to college next week |
t3_2gc50c | tifu | TIFU By Getting My Girlfriend's Car Towed | My girlfriend slept over at my apartment last night. She lives in dorms at university, and I live a few miles off campus. She drove her car to my place because otherwise we'd have to take the bus and no one likes the bus when there's alternative transportation.
Along the back fence of my complex there is a sign that says "Visitor Parking," so I assumed all parking along the back fence is free game for visitors. The spots immediately near the sign were all full, so I just said "Hey, park around the median, I'm pretty sure it's also visitor parking." So she parks and we go on our merry way up to my apartment.
We have a fun night and watch some episodes of master chef, cook burgers because we think we're master chefs now, watch a few doctor who episodes, and then go to sleep and stuff. We wake up in the morning. Watch Tarzan, and then decide we're gonna go get breakfast, so we get dressed and go down stairs.
We walk around the corner and I say "wait, where's your car." She points at a car that looks like hers and then says "wait, that's not my car."
Shit. We run to the office. Maybe there's been a mistake and that is actually visitor parking but the tow truck guy was confused!!
Nope. It's been towed. It's gonna cost over $200. Fuck.
She starts freaking out. I start freaking out. Neither of us have that kind of money to spare. She has the money, but it's not just spare money.
I drive her over to the impound. It's $219.30. Damn. I tell her I'll try and help pay her back when I get paid but she says it's fine.
I feel awful. I feel like it's my fault for telling her to park there. When I went back and looked at the sign, there are arrows pointing to where the "visitor parking" is. But they're black arrows, and hard to see in the dark. | Girlfriend parks in non-visitor parking, is towed, is out $200. I still bought breakfast at Waffle House. |
t3_32qrsb | tifu | TIFU by waking up in a box | So I'm a pretty short guy. 5'0, high school sophomore. I'm in tech theater (basically what makes all the school plays happen and such), and I'm in the video department, which is about as useful as Anne Frank's drum kit. So when I'm feeling antisocial, I go and hide in a box that's in the men's dressing room and take a nap. I can fit, but it's a bit cramped. I've only been found in there once.
Now to the fuckup. Today, the teacher's kinda pissed at how some of us (me included) have been slacking lately. I went to the bathroom, walked out and had a short conversation with a friend. Classmate sees me and tells me to get back in the lobby. I get back and I hear someone discussing with the teacher about me not doing work. So I freak out and go straight in the box.
Big mistake.
I end up falling asleep in there. Then, about 20 minutes later, a noise wakes me up, and then I realize; *"Oh shit. Someone's changing in here."* So I stay quiet and motionless for about 30 seconds, until it's silent.
*Dead quiet,* I tell myself silently. *Gonna break for it.*
I burst out of the box, and I hear a girl's voice saying, *"What the hell?"*
And then I felt like Solid Snake seen without his box, complete with [noise and exclamation point.](
I turn around, and there's a girl putting on makeup. Turns out she was changing (in the men's dressing room, but whatever), but luckily, she was fully clothed.
I immediately apologize and explain how I sleep in there on occasion and a noise she made woke me up, along with the fact that I didn't see anything. Surprisingly, she's not mad at all. She says "it's fine, don't worry about it", and we exchange names, and I leave.
*Still mortified as fuck. | STILL CAN'T BOX LIKE SOLID SNAKE* |
t3_4cbkud | jobs | Good Job in a Field I'm not Interested in or Apply Normally and Hope to Get Something Else? | Hi Everyone! I'm going to be graduating and I have a full-time position lined up for when I do. The company, pay, location are all good, but it's in a field I'm really not interested in. I don't know how much room for growth I would have either (in the industry as a whole). The job itself is a two year rotational program, so I can leave after two years without any issues.
Right now, I have an internship in an industry that I like a lot more. It's something that I can see myself doing for a long time.
The issue is that I don't know how likely it is for me to get a job after graduating. And the starting salaries for the field are about 20k less than my current offer. Also, I don't think that either industry is my end-goal, but for now it's a stepping stone.
I don't mind going with the rotational program and then transitioning to my preferred field, but would that be looked down upon? Would it even be possible, or would I get a bunch of questions about why I took the position? | Take secure, stable job that I don't like very much or try to find a job in preferred field even if it's not going to be easy and there will be a pay cut. |
t3_200ii5 | relationships | Picking the Right Person for Marriage, Kids, Commitment | I'm a 37 year old man who got too involved with his career a decade ago, blinked and realized he was nearly 40 and single. I decided to change my life.
While I never thought I wanted kids or to get married - in fact, I broke up with women in the past who wanted those things while I didn't - for the past 18 months or so I have come to realize that I might be wrong about that.
I don't know how to describe it beyond this: I feel what I think is an instinctual urge to have kids. The topic has strayed so far afield from "want" as to be laughable. It has nothing to do with "want". What I feel is more of a need.
As the last male in my line, it has taken me up until this point to feel this need to ensure that the line of my people continues. What's more, I feel a particular need to have a bunch of offspring.
Accepting that this is the case with me now was easy enough. But the bigger question is this: how do I figure out if a particular woman would be a good partner and a good mother?
Truth be told, I haven't dated in the last few years. I finally had enough a few years ago of the type of women I was dating and decided to just focus on other things. Looking back, that might have actually been the beginning manifestation of this: wanting to move beyond casual dating relationships and onto a very serious and permanent one for the purpose of having children. I didnt realize it at the time.
Anyhow, not knowing that type of woman - specifically, women who also wanted to have children and who weren't looking to just date - was a serious hurdle. In fact, it remains a serous hurdle. But as I'm not longer moving around all the time and have a far more stable life, I feel that may change. | How do you pick the right woman for long term commitment, to give birth to and mother your future children, and where do you find such a person? |
t3_3mcjjk | relationships | Me [33F] in a very open relationship with my husband [50 M]. I sleep with a different man just about every day, some are offering to pay me. Should I take the money? | Hi reddit, I post a lot on some other NSFW subs but this is a little too close to home so I decided to create an alt for this post.
I am 32, basically a housewife who is very much in love with my 50 y/o husband. He owns a business so he's not home a lot and we both agreed when we got married to have an open relationship. He's also something of a cuckold and he gets really turned on by hearing stories about me with other men.
With reddit, tindr, craigslist, etc... there is no shortage of available men for me to sleep with. I have a lot of repeats of course but on any given weekday I will have sex with at least one different man. I love it, it's fun, it keeps me busy and my husband enjoys it too.
The issue today is several of these guys have a fetish of paying for sex. I mean they literally get off on the idea of paying a hooker to do whatever they want. So far it's just been a roleplay and even if they hand me cash, I've given it back. Every single one of them has been disappointed when I give the money back and it seems to ruin the fantasy.
We aren't hurting for money of course, but some extra spending cash would be really nice. The amount varies from guy to guy, but between $20 from a younger guy to an older guy who had a stack of $100s he wanted to give me if I did certain fetish things to him (that I would have done anyways).
Part of me really doesn't want to be a hooker, but part of me thinks that its not really prostitution, just further enhancing the fetish. | Some of my guys fetish is to pay me for sex, should I take the money? |
t3_mqso8 | AskReddit | Getting harassed online; should I report it or not? | Around March, I met someone through the internet, and we became friends. He is 20-22 (can't remember his exact age at the moment) and lives in Canada, I am 17 and American. After a while I developed feelings for him, and basically camwhored for him a number of times. Things were pretty fine and dandy for a while, but starting in October he started to get, well, scary. Incredibly rude to me, calling me a bitch when I tried to stand up for myself, telling me I needed to be beaten, ect. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to log on anymore, because he scares me that much.
I know I have three options- I can either ignore it, pretend everythings fine and dandy when in reality he makes me cry; I can block him, but I've seen the way he reacts to people who block him and it is an unpleasant situation to go through; or I can report him to the police or FBI, which I'm wary about because I feel like a child crying to the teacher (and frankly, there are larger things for them to worry about than my stupidity). My greatest fear is that, whatever I do, he will dox me, and because I'm underage I can be charged with distributing child porn and be forced to register as a sex offender. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I feel helpless and trapped and like death (or faking my death) is the only option at this point | Was an idiot, cammed with older guy, now he's frightening and I'm begging reddit for some advice. I really have nowhere else to turn at this point. |
t3_2ygox8 | personalfinance | Trying to move out form parents house, want to know if I can afford it | My current living situation is quite good, but I'd also like to seriously consider moving out. I'm asking, mostly, to see how much of a hit to my standard of living I should expect if I move out on my own. I make around $1400/month pre-tax (my hours are flexible but I have a medical condition that keeps my form working full-time). About how much of my income could I expect to reasonably spend as a minimum in a small city in the northeast or suburbs thereof? The rents I've been seeing for student apartments have been in the neighborhood of $800, but I'm not opposed to having a roommate. | rich kid wants to know how bad of a hit to his standard of living he'd take from moving out. |
t3_w63je | AskReddit | How do you get into " the loop"? | Hi Reddit! I'm entering my last year of college, and sadly, I haven't been able to make any real friends during my time here.
Everyone else seems to be getting calls/invitations/texts to hang out but me, and I've always felt out of the loop. As I type, my cellphone lies on my desk, no texts/calls ever--pretty pathetic really.
I've tried showing up at different events, even if I don't know anyone. I've tried showing up at clubs, every week, and sure, I meet people, get to know them, but after you friend them on facebook, nothing happens after that. I might initiate conversation with them a few times, but then quickly run out of things to talk about, since I don't know them that well. (They never initiate back after this)
I guess the real question should be, How do I get people to like hanging out/interacting with me? What have I done wrong, or is my personality just not that likeable? | How do you get people to call you up? |
t3_2m8tol | jobs | Not sure if this is a common issue or if i should just leave the company.. Any thoughts? | I used to think that these issues come with every retail job, but now I'm thinking it may just be this place. I've been with this retail store for two years, during the time I have been promoted twice, currently assistant managing. Honestly this is only my second job so I dont really know if the kind of situation I will be describing is common in retail management or if i should find a new job.
Essentially, over the past couple of months I have called in sick twice. This is very unusual for me. I am a very responsible/flexible worker, always picking up shifts when others cant(I am on my 14th day in a row) staying overtime when needed, staying after my shift to make sure things get done (usually 5+hours a week unpaid.. another issue..ehh.)
Anyway, when I called in sick both times I found a co-worker to cover my shift. I also notified the management team as soon as I started feeling ill.
Well my boss was not too happy and claimed that I was being extremely irresponsible and need to plan things better on my end so it is more convenient for the staff. We will most likely be having a discussion about "where I want to go with the company." And "If this is too much for you, say so and we will demote you."
All because I happen to get sick twice in three months. I also want to mention the exact same thing happened to my co-worker who needed to take her 6 year old to emergency one day and ended up being demoted for being "irresponsible"
Other reasons I am thinking of leaving:
- behind the scenes operations are very disorganized (paperwork, dealings with customer issues, dealings with in store issues ext)
-the training "programs" are very inconsistent and they claim its "flexible to the business"
-the work hours are all over the place
-you are not given time during your shift to complete necessary paperwork etc and have to stay on your own time to finish | after working 14 days in a row, I called in sick for the second time in three months, found a co-worker to cover for me both times and my boss says that kind of irresponsibility will not be tolerated. It is not my fault I got sick and I generally feel like I am being treated unfairly. |
t3_3dwvr4 | relationships | I [21f] don't think my boyfriend [21M] thinks I'm attractive | During sex, just as things start to get really heated, he'll stop to get up and turn off the lights. Sometimes he'll turn on the lamp beside his bed, but that doesn't happen too often. Back before we started dating, I didn't care too much... But now that we are, it makes me feel hella self-conscious. It doesn't happen as often now (still does quite a bit, though) but that doesn't change the fact that it almost always used to happen before. I feel like maybe him being um, to put it nicely, "unimpressed" with my face might have something to do with it. Also good (or embarrassing) to note that he has a "thing" for doggy. | boyfriend has a "thing" for sex in the dark, also has a "thing" for doggy, both happen very often, think it's because he finds me uggz |
t3_48dyb7 | relationship_advice | [23/F] found text messages from a man on my boyfriend's phone [21/M] | I've been seeing this guy for over 6 months, we've had a wonderful relationship that felt exactly like a fairy tale.
It's hard to explain how I saw the text message, but I definitely wasn't snooping and found this text by complete accident.
Anyways, I found a conversation with an unsaved number and opened it
"Would you ever consider being a bottom?" the number asked
"Maybe with time" my boyfriend replied.
I did't see anymore of the conversation because he took his phone from my hands. He began panicking and acting very guilty and I made him leave my apartment.
A few days later, we talked and he explained to me that before he met me he thought he was bisexual and met up with a guy to "fool around" but found it "wasn't for him" and he met me shortly after.
He said that the unknown number had just texted him to see if he wanted to meet up again and he declined, and only replied about being a bottom because he "wants everyone to like him".
He tells me that he is straight (I don't care if he's bi, but the way I found out was not ideal) and loves me, but I feel betrayed that he even entertained the idea, and furthermore, never told me he might be bisexual. I feel like there may be more to the story but he is hiding it from me to save our relationship.
I know that he has issues with being passive and a people-pleaser, so his story isn't so far-fetched. And before all of this, he nearly worshiped me and loved me in ways I've never been loved.
I'm just lost as to figuring out if our relationship is worth saving or if it's obvious he has some things he needs to work on? | Found sexual text message on my boyfriend's phone from a guy, never knew he was bi-sexual and don't know if this is forgivable. |
t3_46gev8 | Advice | My girlfriend and I want to move in together, but we're being floored by religious parents! What can we do? | So a little backstory. I am a 21 y/o male and my girlfriend is 19. We have been together for 2 years now and have decided that the next big step for us is moving in together next semester. We go to different colleges but want to find a place somewhere between.
We have decided that we plan on getting married someday in the future (probably 2 or 3 years from now), but agree that we should live together for awhile before getting engaged. We just think it's the sensible thing to do. However we both come from very conservative religious families, and we are 100% sure her parents and my father would not be okay with us living together. In fact they have explicitly said so to her.
Financially it just makes so much sense for us to live together. We are both overpaying for housing currently and it would make so much sense for us to split the rent on a single bedroom apartment. We talked about tying the knot earlier in order to satiate our parents but honestly we don't think it's wise to rush into our marriage just to satisfy our parents.
We want to be honest with our parents because we are both financially reliant on our parents to a certain degree, but at the same time we are both adults and feel we are responsible and sensible enough to make this decision. We are toying with the idea of writing our parents a letter to explain our reasoning, but we aren't really sure what we would do if they still said they weren't okay with it. We don't want to alienate our families because we love them but at the same time we feel completely controlled and that's very frustrating. | Girlfriend and I of 2 years want to move in together but fear the repercussions of our super-religious families. |
t3_1kf1uo | tifu | TIFU by making my 4 year old running face first into garage door | I recently got new car with manual transmission. Given that last time I drove stick was about 20 years ago I am still trying to get used to it, but I love it!
Earlier today I was getting ready to drop my little one at day care and as usual go start the car. Typically I first put her in car seat, but this time for whatever reason started the car first. My driveway is at the angle so when I park the car nose facing the road I put gear in reverse, e-break on. So my daughter is standing just to the left of driver's side rear door. I push the clutch in, start the car, but forget to put gear in neutral. Car jerks back pretty fast but not by much. This scared the hell out of my daughter pretty bad I guess and all I see in the mirror her turning around and running towards garage door, which was closed, plummeting her little pretty face right in it. I don't know why, but I chucked a bit (I know it's bad) and jumped out to see if she OK. She was fine, not a scratch. I guess she didn't know what has happened so there were no tears. All she said was, "Daddy wanted to hurt me!" I am a monster. | I am a monster |
t3_1u1fos | AskReddit | My co-worker might have a drug problem. What do I do? | A little background, six months ago, I got a job that I was under-qualified for. They've been providing me with training, but everyone else there has been there for at least 10 years or so. I'm 20 y.o, so that makes me the youngest at my company. I have two co-workers that I see on a daily basis, my boss, and the head tech. Since I am training I tend to ride with my coworker in his truck(we have company cars) to locations so we can work on stuff. About two months ago, we were at a location and it started raining so I went into his truck to get a spare sweater I had seen, and a meth pipe fell out and he saw it and smashed it and said he didn't know where it came from. (He has said his neighbor is a meth user and pays him for chores like cleaning his truck) so I assumed that's what it was and brushed it off.
Fast forward to about two weeks ago and I'm looking in his truck again for a pen and paper and I found ANOTHER meth pipe, but this time in compartment underneath the bench seat. I didn't mention it, took the pen and paper, and forgot about it.
Now, my dilemma is this: my boss is retiring within ~5 years, an this coworker is the one who is to take his spot, and then I'm after, asing as I stay there. Now, obviously this is being thrown in my face and it's not going away. Should I tell my boss?(who has a history of not handling things very discreetly.) My other concern is the fact that I smoke pot, and I don't want to incur a random drug screen and lose my job as well, because it's the best job I've ever had.
What does Reddit think? | I found a meth pipe in my coworkers truck twice, what do I do? |
t3_3qug52 | relationships | I [19M] lost my girlfriend [18F] because I'm super clingy. I'm trying to get better, should I have any hope of getting her back? | Hey guys and girls, just less than a month ago, my girlfriend broke up with me, ultimately the reason being that I pushed her away because I'm clingy. I'm REALLY terribly clingy, constantly my life revolved around being with her, or talking to her, I got upset when I couldn't talk with her, and all the types of issues you normally have as a clingy person. I recognize this now and I'm trying to make it better, I'm trying to get involved with hobbies and hang out with friends and talk to others, but I really want her back, we talked a few days ago (before I realized how clingy I was, I basically just noticed how clingy I was today) and I think I got her really upset with me, I asked her why we broke up and if we still had feelings for each other and etc. I really screwed up, and that talk was probably the worst thing I've done. I haven't been talking with her at all the last few days because I think she needs to decide when she's ready to talk again, and also because my constantly wanting to talk to her is part of my clingy personality and I really need to get over it. Here's the thing, as I've mentioned: I really want the opportunity to try again. I really really care for her, and while I know that I won't have hope of getting her back any time soon, especially when I still need to work on me being clingy, is there anything, or any hope I can have for getting back together in the future? I feel that I might have pushed her too far away already. I know it might not happen, I really want it too, and I can deal with not getting back together, but I really think I screwed up, I just can't tell her that because talking to her constantly was always the problem | I'm super duper clingy, lost the most amazing girlfriend over it. I want to tell her that I recognize that now and I'm trying to help myself but constantly wanting to talk to her is part of the issue. I'm not looking to try to get back together immediately, but should I have any hope for the future? Is there anything I can do? |
t3_2yyu88 | relationships | I [21F] organised a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend [22M] and he flipped out | So a bit of back story. I've been with my boyfriend for a year now, he has some trust issues because his ex cheated on him. My ex of 4 years cheated on me also, so I understand some of his behaviour but this is a bit much.
His birthday was last weekend. I mailed a few of his friends on Facebook to try and organise a birthday party for him. He normally doesn't allow me to talk to his friends unless he's there but I thought this would be alright.
Anyway, the party started and he was happy at it, but shortly after we all surprised him he pulled me aside asking how I was involved and I told him, and he went crazy. I had a drink in my hand which he grabbed and smashed off the wall of the disabled bathroom we were speaking in, saying something along the lines of "you talk to my friends and then you drink in front of me, really?!". He doesn't like me drinking because his ex drank when she cheated on him, I'm not a big drinker and can count the amount of times I've been drunk, which was always with girlfriends at sleepovers or girls nights out. Anyway, I calmed him down after about 10 minutes and we went back outside and everything seemed fine, we danced a lot, laughed, he even bought me a vodka and coke which is weird for him.
However, this morning he's angry again. I don't know whether he's mad that I contacted his friends or the fact that I spoke to men, seeing as that's "forbidden" nowadays. He's treating me like I'm his ex girlfriend, like I've already cheated on him or something. Which to clarify, I 100% haven't and that's never been a question.
What do I do? | Boyfriend got mad when I threw a surprise for him because it involved contacting his friends. |
t3_1rqhit | GetMotivated | Motivation for a Friend x-post from /r/depression | Hey there Reddit -
Throwaway here - I'm a long time supporter for one of my best friends who has severe depression. I've been a frequenter of that subreddit and this subreddit for quite some time for ideas and advice. Having depression myself (though not usually quite so severe), I've always found that doing nice things for others helps my mood immensely, and I've always tried to remain a positive beacon for my friend.
Well, last year he told me something life-changing. He gave me the nicest compliment I've ever gotten when he told me how much my support has meant to him over the years, and he suggested that I should write my ideas down.
So here it finally is – I don't think it's much, but hopefully some of you out there can get some good out of it to: | A book about fighting your depression and happier lives from my personal experiences. |
t3_53v5yg | relationships | I'm [24 M] developing feelings for my friend [23 F]. Should I say something? | My friend and I met at least 3 years ago but we've been getting to know each other better over the last few months. We didn't know each other well in college, but we've both left and live in the same area now. We haven't met up since (or during) college, but there are plans to do so in the next month.
She sort of intimidated me in school because she's very smart and talented. I messaged her for career advice earlier this year, and we hit it off. She's very easy to talk to and we've got tons of common ground.
I'm developing feelings for her the more I get to know about her and it's scaring the hell out of me. I'm pretty bad at gauging interest unless the girl's being blatantly obvious (flirting, winking, staring and smiling). Some girls want to be asked, so it's hard to tell.
My inclination is to wait until we meet up to decide if I really like her or I just admire/respect her. (The physical chemistry part is important.) However, I feel like meeting up without defining how I feel could be dishonest. If she doesn't feel the same way, I want to remain friends. She's a great person and I don't want to fuck that up.
My main question ( | ): |
t3_2utn2h | relationships | Me [28 M] with my more than friends [33 F] known each other since the summer, I want to send her flowers on valentines day, but i have an issue. Crosspost from R/dating advice | Some background: Me 28M and her 33F met in sept 2014 in her home state and went out once. Decided we want to keep in contact after the one date. Then She visited me in my home state twice since then. Now since last she visited was last month and things went from casual to little more serious then before leaving we had the talk and decided since we dont want to do a long distance thing right now, but agreed we want to continue what we have right now and see where it goes as she does plan on moving to my home state soon.
Anyways i want to send her valentines day flowers, but there was never a situation where we needed each homes addresses. So i dont know how to get her address without sounding suspicious about valentines day. I guess i can search online, but wouldn't that be really creepy?? i guess i can ask her friend also i dont want a third party involved ether.
Any suggestions? also i plan on sending a mixed bouquet of flowers cause i know roses are something for more serious. | i want to send her valentines flowers, but we never needed to exchange home addresses. Also we live in different states. |
t3_2jh7dj | relationships | Me [21 F] with my roommate [23 F] since August, how do I bail on my lease without hurting her feelings? | Let me start by saying that my roommate is an incredibly sweet girl. We met on an incoming students' group for my new school, and she seemed like a perfect roomie-match. She took the initiative in apartment hunting for us, and found us this stellar (though pricey) place.
Since we moved in together though, we've had some problems. She cries. Constantly. Like three out of five days a week, I come home to her crying over school or her boyfriend or just something. We've had some issues with when she has friends over as well, since she's invited people over while she's not home and I'm trying to study, and I just came home to an apartment full of people on a weeknight.
I also have a fantastic boyfriend of two years, who I was planning on moving in with until circumstances got in the way (he didn't know he'd be in the same city until after I'd signed my lease). He's now in an amazing apartment, just as conveniently located, and moving in with him would save me about $400 a month. I really want to move in with him, but I don't want to insult my roommate or leave her in the lurch for the rest of the rent or stuck with some craigslist roommate. Any advice? | Want to bail on my lease to move in with my boyfriend, but don't want to offend my very sweet and perhaps emotionally unstable roomie. |
t3_417qwr | legaladvice | Sexually assaulted 10+ years ago by teacher | I was sexually assaulted (groped) by a teacher 11 years ago in Wisconsin. I was 13 years old, naive, scared and never reported it. Now I feel extremely guilty knowing this creep is still a teacher and could have a decade's worth of victims just like me. I read up on my state's statute of limitations and I think I am still within the time frame to be able to do something about it.
I just need to know if I should be going straight to the police or if I should try and find a lawyer first. I am not interested in receiving any type of settlement whatsoever, I just want there to be a record of his actions. I was assaulted on a class retreat and I witnessed him possibly assaulting another girl the day after I was attacked. I never confronted her or asked about it. I am hoping to contact her now, but we are complete strangers and I was hoping for some advice on how to go about that.
I know it was incredibly dumb for me to not have reported anything when I was younger but I was honestly extremely confused and had convinced myself that it was an accident for YEARS. Any advice regarding taking action now would be appreciated! | Groped by teacher 11 years ago when I was 13. Should I go straight to police or lawyer up? How should I go about contacting other possible victims? |
t3_2l9d19 | tifu | TIFU by telling over 100 visiting basketball fans that they could not fuck us. | So this fuck up actually happened yesterday. (I wanted to share this which is why I made this account really) So I work for a basketball court/arena in Delaware for a semi-pro team called the Ducks. My job is to decorate the scoreboard with colorful messages and such and our team's recent new catchphrase is "You can't duck us!". I'm prepping the messages before the game and since I'm already late I'm in a rush so I do everything five minutes before the game stars... That was close! So all I do now is go court side and work the points from there. So I'm relaxing and watching the bearing our team is taking and the trade mark "You can't Duck us" cheer starts. And the scoreboard is right on time with the delivery. Except mid cheer the audience starts pointing and laughing at the score board. Since it's my job to prep that thing I look up and my face instantly turns red when I see in giant Gold and White letters:
"YOU CAN'T FUCK US"
Damn it! I run through all the chaos as fast as I can and I'm looking for a way to cancel this message because it's a set schedule it follows so in panic, I shut down the whole thing. The second half of the basketball game was done without a scoreboard. I'm also now on probation by my manager. | I was in a rush and I accidentally told the visiting audience that "You can't fuck us" and almost lost my job. |
t3_ll1eu | cats | Help! My cat keeps attacking us in the early morning... | This started a few weeks ago, and up until now our 1.5 year old cat (Nautilus) hasn't been a problem. Since school has started, my SO and I have gotten up at around 7 am to feed her since we are usually out of the house soon thereafter. However, the past few weeks, she has been playfully attacking my SO before our alarms go off. It used to be just a few minutes, but it's been getting significantly longer. This morning she was attacking since 5:30, causing my SO to not get needed sleep. Is there anything we can do to deter this? Spray bottles don't work as she just sits there and takes it. Bitter Yuck spray doesn't work, as it gets everywhere and ends up getting in our mouths somehow. Flicking her on the nose or pushing her off the bed just causes her to attack more ferociously. Any advice?
Some information about my cat: we started her on a diet about 3 months ago at the recommendation of our vet. She is currently being fed 2/3 of a cup of dry cat food per day, half at 7 am and the other half at 7 pm. She was spayed about a year ago when she was 6 months old. | Cat attacks us for 2 hours before we wake up, how can we stop this? |
t3_3nqlkj | relationships | Do I [24 M] tell my girlfriend[25 F] dating 1.5years, that sometimes I fantasise exclusively of men? We have a monogamous relationship and she knows I'm Bi. | I've asked in /r/Bisexual as well...figured I shouldn't limit my potential responses to a particular demographic. But of course, they would be able to offer insight as well.
She knows I'm Bi and that I've been with a man before. I know that it's normal to sometimes fantasise exclusively about men.
I just want to know, in a steady monogamous relationship, where all of this essentially amounts to head-porn; would you bother having this conversation with your girlfriend, or simply avoid it and leave things be?
I don't want her to think there is some purpose to this, it's just something that happens to me. In my head, this only ends up blowing out of proportion. We've joked about threesomes and stuff but I'm not really looking for anything of the sort, I'm very happy with just her.
How would you go about it? Would you at all? | Bi guy thinking Bi things, how do I ensure my gf knows I'm just talking casually about it, if I tell her what I'm thinking. |
t3_x7dlq | AskReddit | my girlfriend's mother beat her.... what can i do? | i'm going to college together with an amazing girl named Jessica, my girlfriend. Since we live far away, we decided to do long distance in the summer. She lives in Singapore and I live in the US. Her family has been having issues lately, and until things cool down, her dad has decided to live away from home, in a hotel. For the sake of leaving the specific issues they've been having out of this, essentially her mom got mad at Jessica about issues relating to us dating, as her mom does not approve, and started yelling at Jessica. Jessica's parents weren't around much during her childhood and, essentially have been neglectful and bad parents. In a fit of anger, Jessica decides to stand up for herself for once (since she usually just allows her mom to yell at her without responding) and lets her mom know how she hasn't been there for her when she was growing up. The mother lashes out in fury and slaps Jessica across the face, so hard that her earring flies out, and kicks Jessica onto the floor. The mom repeatedly kicks her until Jessica curls up into a ball. All the areas that the mom has hit Jessica are areas that are hidden. The mom even said something along the lines of "what are you gonna do, call the police?!" Jessica called me and told me about this crying and very afraid. Luckily, college starts for us in less than a month, so she can get out of this hell hole soon, but I'm just wondering reddit, what can/should I do? I tried my best to comfort her, but I'm scared for her well being and don't want her to be beaten again. I don't know what the laws in Singapore are like, and if she calls the police to tell them about this, her mom is well off, so she can pay any bail money that is necessary to get free. What do I do reddit? | my girlfriend's mom recently beat her in a foreign country, what can be done about this? |
t3_2f0y9v | tifu | TIFU By forgetting what to call handy-capped parking spots. | So Today me and my mom decided to go out for lunch. Her favorite restaurant is generally really crowded during lunch hour. I saw how full the parking lot was, and how empty the handy-cap parking was. I then exclaimed "wow, thats a lot of old people parking." I then parked the car and turned to undo my seat belt. My mother is giving me the ultimate death stare. You know the one that your mom or dad gave you as a kid. The "you fucked up real bad" stare. I sit there for a moment, and didn't know what to say. Eventually i said, "sorry i wasn't thinking." We then got out of the car to have one of the most awkward lunches i've ever had with my mother. | I called handy-capped "old people parking" and my mom gave me "the stare." |
t3_oxvlj | self | Just got a 2.3 GPA in my first semester of college. used to have 3.8 in highschool. wtf | It's not like I didn't try either. Just that I'm seeing my old study methods fail. I used to only study a day or two before the exam, or if its just a test, the night before. I was a crammer and I pride myself in my ability to cram everything at the end and still get good results.
I also had shitty classes that i weren't interested in, and in the beginning had a terrible time fitting in and making friends. The lack of social comfort definitely had an influence in my motivation to study... anybody else going through the same shit?
oh, and i study at the University of Hong Kong (no. 22 in world) | used to be good at highschool, got assraped in uni. what gives? |
t3_pufew | AskReddit | What are your best stories from working retail? | I remember one time when I worked at Circuit City this woman came in and was browsing around my section. She looked really strange and had on this hideous dress with sneakers. Her hair was lifeless and dull kind of like the ghost girl from The Grudge. I went up to her and ask if she needed any help. She proceeded to just make weird awkward small talk the entire time before I finally adjourned myself when I realized she didn't plan on buying anything. Afterwards one of my coworkers came up to me and told me the girl was not a girl at all, in fact it was a man who liked to dress up as a woman then talk to employees to get off. | Weird transvestite gets off by chit chatting with employees. |
t3_4pvx0f | relationships | Me [30 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] 6 months, don't find her sexually attractive | My and my girlfriend have been dating for 6 months. We get along quite well, with a few cultural problems (she is Chinese). She is a lovely, generous person but I've found that I'm not attracted to her sexually.
Example - she just stayed with me in my apartment for 9 days. We had sex once. Apart from that we fooled around twice without having full sex. She did want to have sex a couple of other times but I wasn't interested.
For contrast, my last girlfriend was very hot and I always wanted to have sex with her twice a day.
With my current girl, when she leaves I'm relieved that I can watch porn and see some physical beauty. Guess porn might be the problem here but maybe it also helps to satisfy my urges so that I don't cheat?
I'm worried. If I don't find her physically attractive now, when she is 22, this is only going to get much worse over time?
When we first met, she was thinner and I got drawn in by how cute and friendly and nice she was. She was really into me and I went along with it. She is not ugly facially, but her body doesn't turn me on. It did at the start, but recently not at all. Maybe at the beginning it was just the novelty of being with someone new.
After typing all of this it seems obvious that I should break up with her. Guess I'm too cowardly to do it. But I'm her first serious boyfriend, she has been wonderfully nice to me, and I have a sense of loyalty to her which has prevented me from cheating on her or breaking up with her. It makes me very upset when I think about leaving her. I do treasure our shared memories. She has helped me out in all sorts of non-sexual ways. We help each other a lot and are a pretty good team.
When I was with my previous girlfriend and other girls, I was never tempted by anyone else because I was satisfied with my sex life. Life is tough when you find yourself thinking about what might have been.
Maybe if our relationship becomes more intimate over time, the sex might become more intimate and fulfilling too? | Should a man just accept that his girlfriend (and potential wife) isn't very attractive and stay with her out of loyalty and friendship, because she is a good person, even if it means that he doesn't want to have sex with her. |
t3_2ydd1y | relationships | My partner (23M) is scared to move away from home. How do I make it less scary? | I've been in a long distance relationship with my partner for over 3 years (I'm 20, F/Q). We see each other 2 weekends a month, and I sometimes stay with him during holidays. We're both agreed that we're a strong enough relationship that we're likely to be together the rest of our lives. We're pragmatic enough to know that it might not work out, but we expect it to.
I'm at university in a city I love and he really likes. With my parents help I have a mortgage on a nice house here. He's at a job he hates in a city I hate and he only likes a little bit. He's openly said that the reason he doesn't want to move here to be with me is that he's scared of losing his social support networks-friends he's hung out with for years. This is of course an entirely valid concern-needing to make new friends in a new place is an intimidating thing. He also suffers from social anxiety, which obviously makes it more difficult.
I'm planning on taking him to special interest social groups (gamer groups, anime groups, metal fan groups, etc) to try and help him meet people he can form new friendships with (then leaving the groups myself because its important for him to have friends and spaces he can go to without me-I'd just be going initially because he'd be too shy to go to something alone until he'd already met people there), but I'm not sure how effective this will be.
I'm looking for any advice as to how to make this easier and more effective. How else can I help him to build a social network here? How can I make what I'm already planning to do work better? How can I do any of this when he's only here 2 weekends a month? | My boyfriend is scared to move in with me because it would mean leaving his friends behind in another city. How do I help him make new friends before he moves here? |
t3_32cehd | tifu | TIFU by using a temporary tattoo. | This happened yesterday.
I was sitting around my house waiting for the cable guys to come fix my internet and I was **super** bored. I was just walking around my house when I found a pack of Disney themed temporary tattoos.
That's when I get a great idea. "I should put the Minnie Mouse Tattoo on my forehead to fuck with the cable guys!" I text my friend asking him to hang out and I tell him about this dumb little prank.
I apply the tattoo and sat around my house for hours waiting for these guys to show up. So long in fact that *I had forgotten that I even put the tattoo on*. In the mean time I'm still texting my friend and I ask him for a ride to Gamestop so I can return some games.
He comes and picks me up, we have good conversation and go to the store, neither of us commenting about the Minnie Mouse on my head because initially my hair was slightly covering it. It's pretty windy as we walk towards the store and it must have blown my hair out of the way. We walk in and I go towards the cashier. Normally at this point in a visit to any store the employee initiates some sort of conversation like "What can I help you with?" but this guy is just standing there staring at me. I'm trying to figure out why he looks so confused but I can't think of any reason for this *"The fuck is wrong with you?"* look he's giving me.
We end up having a really awkward transaction and my friend and I walk out of the store. As soon as I get into the car it hits me that the entire time I had been in there I had a plainly visible Minnie Mouse tattoo proudly displayed on my forehead like I was some kind of fucking psychopath and I didn't even acknowledge it.
Needless to say, my friend and I were out of breath from laughing so fucking hard. | Went to the store with a Minnie Mouse tattoo on my face, got judged by the supreme beings that are Gamestop employees. |
t3_cjafu | AskReddit | Can I really leave America? | I know this is posted everywhere, all the time, but my wife and I would really like to move out of the U.S.A.. We were thinking France. Here's the deal, I am still working on my College degree and will be for quite some time. My wife will have her RN degree in about one year. We are currently poor. We want kids in the next decade sometime.We were planning on taking our two 20 year old brothers to live there with us. Is this dream actually attainable? Do we need to learn French before we go? Can I continue my college over there? We want this for our children because we both believe the U.S.A. will be a failed government in the near future. I am no rocket scientist,or anyone of significance but we feel that we will have better lives outside the states. Are we traitors? Are we unrealistic? Are we mad? All helpful insight is truly appreciated. We have been thinking of this for a few years but we are too poor to go on a vacation let alone move to a different country. Do we need to save up around 10k, or 20k, or ?? | Can my wife and I actually become citizens of France? |
t3_1ffahn | BreakUps | The hope of us getting back together is the only thing keeping me sane | I (20M) was recently broken up with by her (19F) after 11 months together. We had become extremely close and despite how young we are, we imagined a future together. We were both each others first serious relationship.
There were no problems with us and we went together so well, but she broke up with me after I went to a strip club for a friends birthday and then lied about it to her. I acknowledge how I was wrong and I have learnt from that, but she says she is too hurt.
Now I know that I am only 20 years old, but I cant imagine ever loving someone like I did with her again. I cant ever imagine being intimate, sharing things, enjoying the things we did with anyone else. And I know I need to accept her decision. But it breaks my heart and I feel like I have lost the person closest to me. I can't stop thinking about her and I feel like I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me.
And the only thing I can tell myself to calm myself down is that maybe after some time we will get back together. I know I need to accept that she has decided this and I know I shouldn't hope for something unlikely, but this is the only thing keeping me going. I keep imagining that a few months down the line, we will talk again and maybe give it another shot.
What can I do? I know it is not healthy to think like this, but I can't help it. | I know that i am meant to accept we are over, but I keep thinking that maybe there is a second chance for us. |
t3_ei0bm | AskReddit | Cabling job gone wrong? I need advice please | So I had my tv put up on the wall this weekend and went with the cables being trunked instead of being sunk into the wall. I wasn't in when they installed it (a friend covered for me)
When I came back i needed to put a cat5 cable in the trunking, so I took the cover off and routed it. I noticed at the time that the top was quite loose at the time, but looked ok.
Anyway, when I came to put the cover back on, the top would not attatch to the clips
I got them back out and they said that I messed it up, but the cables seem to tight to bend round properly. I was wondering if there were any experts out there who knew better? | is this pic bad cable routing? Please help |
t3_4d2bj6 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF [20F] duration split up after 2 years. | Dear reddit relationships,
My GF and I split up today. We had a great relationship and really supported and loved each other, but at the end of the day we had a few qualities/goals for the future that we just not compatible.
I've been pretty much crying all day while playing games/listening to break up music.
I tried going to sleep and just ended up crying and going through the cards/photos she gave me.
Should I delete all photos (not explicit) of her and throw away the cards she gave me (birthdays, anniversary etc)?
I know time heals wounds but it seems so fk*** hard at the moment.
Any advice on how to deal with this/what to do? | Broke up after a 2 year loving relationship, feel like ass. |
t3_2dy2m7 | relationships | I [17M] have started a relationship a friend [17F] after her ex left her, but I'm pretty sure she isn't over him. | Ok, just as the title says, I'm pretty sure she still likes her ex even though their relationship is 3 months old news. Me and her have been talking for a while and she has expressed how she wants to be in a relationship with me. We've cuddled, kissed, etc. I have known since the start of our relationship that she wasn't over him. She expressed that she wasn't, but the reason she wishes to be in a relationship with me is because "You're a great guy and I want to move on and form new memories with a another person." I fully support this, but the thing is she isn't trying to get over her ex.
Her ex has cheated on her 3 times. Her friends, his friends, and my friends have told her over and over that she shouldnt be friends with him. Yet she refuses to listen to anyone. I have expressed my concern over the fact that I don't think it's healthy to form a new relationship with me if she isn't over the old one. She was crazy in love with this fellow keep in mind, and it was her first true boyfriend, lasted 1 year. She claims she is over him, and she still talks to him and stuff to "fuck with him and get payback". At first I was gullible enough to believe this, but now I'm thinking she's doing it because she still can't get over him. A lot of people, including some of her good friends, call b.s. that she's only trying to fuck with him.
What should I do, Reddit? I told her earlier today I wish to speak with her tomorrow about me and her while I drive us to school. I plan on bringing up her ex and ask what's the deal with him, where she expects our relationship to go, etc. What are some things I should and shouldn't do? How should I bring up such a sensitive topic? She's a really great girl, but this is hard to grasp. | Pretty sure girlfriend isn't over ex. He cheated on her 3 times. Their relationship ended 3 months ago. Claims to talk to him only to fuck with him. I and multiple people call b.s. I wish to still try and work it out so I am talking with her tomorrow. Need advice. |
t3_1ffqos | relationship_advice | [22/m] I'm usually fairly good with women, but this one i just cannot get my head around.. | So there's this girl who i've known since i was like 12 and I've always been friend-zoned but we've remained really close and get along really well. We've both had a relationships with others and have remained friends throughout.
I'm usually fairly confident at picking up women etc. but last week at a party me and the this girl had a drunken make-out and i pretty much confessed that i always had a thing for her. Ever since i just cannot stop thinking about her, but i find it really hard to bring up since we've known each other for so long.
I really am crazy about her in the sort of way which i haven't felt since i was a stupid love-stricken teenager. Any advice on what i should do!? all input would be much appreciated! I know i just need to man-up and talk to her about it but goshdarn it that ain't easy! | had a drunken moment of passion with a really close old friend, now I have mad feelings for her but find it hard to bring up due to our friendship. Advice? |
t3_2cn4wp | relationship_advice | I'm [25/m] not sure if she's [24/f] the 'one'. Is it bad to check other girls out or want them? | I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years. I love her, things are going just fine. I feel comfortable around her. The honeymoon phase is over. I believe this to be normal. However, whenever I see a beautiful girl passing me by, I sometimes wonder if it would be more fun to date her/do things with her/ have sex with her. I can get really happy when I notice a nice girl and she notices me back. Is this normal?
I like the thought of being together with someone all my life, but I wonder if it's more normal to have different partners throughout a life time. | I sometimes wonder if my SO is the one, because I enjoy it immensely if I see a beautiful girl and wonder how it would be to have a relationship/date with her. Is this a sign that I'm not happy? |
t3_de5ub | AskReddit | Little problem regarding discussions about Muslims, need some help. | Every time the news is on, there is something about the Ground Zero mosque, now the burqa in France thing. Whenever something like this is on the news, I hear my mother and step dad saying "Yeah, I'm with that!" yelling to the television about how it is right and the good thing to do. It's getting really tough for me to not say "Why do you think that?".
I tried that today though, even though my brain was shouting "Don't say it, there will be a useless argument, stop it!", and my mother and I got in an argument. I won't go in depth, but the most things she had to say were "I don't agree with you", "You're wrong", "You should read the newspaper more". Upon me asking "Why don't you agree with me?" she responds with "You don't have any knowledge of this, you should read more".
Whenever I get her in the corner (discussion wise), she takes one word from my previous sentence and starts a discussion about something completely off-topic.
About my discussion capabilities. This morning I asked a classmate what he was thinking about the mosque at Ground Zero, he said he was against the mosque being build there.
"So why are you against it?"
"Because people in America lost family members that were at the WTC"
"Muslims also were in the WTC at the time, shouldn't they get to pray?"
"That's a fairly straight point, I guess you're right" | My mother is very anti Muslim but doesn't see it, in an argument I just can't get her to see my point, like I'm talking to a wall. |
t3_20seoc | dating_advice | Can you help me [21m] figure out what went wrong with a foreign girl [22f]? I'm so confused... | Sorry if this is so much more trivial than some of the other posts. I'm just confused to high heaven. So, we met at a bar and I got her number. We texted loads over a few days before I took her out for dinner and we got on really well, there was definite chemistry. Ended up hooking up at the beach for hours before I walked her home like a gentleman.
The next day she texts and says her plans fell through and asked if I wanted to see her that evening. All good. Walked round the city and stopped in a park to talk for hours and make out. Walked her home again, this time I'm invited in, but only for half an hour because I have to catch the last bus home (I live far away and had to be back to work the next morning). Anyway, we both get worked up, she wants to have sex, I can't (not enough time) so I tell her we'll see each other another night that week. She agrees, but still won't let me leave, keeps straddling me and grabbing my crotch. (She's had 0 alcohol by the way)
The next day I text her saying she should give me a text when she's next free. No reply. I play it cool and wait a few days... no reply. Decide to send the message on FB in case it's a phone problem. She says "I'll text you if I'm free." Really cold. Went from 10+ messages back and forth a day to nothing. Went from trying to throw herself on me one night, to ignoring me the next. She has to leave the country in 2 weeks as well though... was hoping to see her again at least once before then. Ultimately I just really want to know what happened.
Anybody got any clues what to say? Or how to deal with this. Sorry for the text wall... | Foreign girl was all over me, begging me to sleep with her. Next week she ignores me entirely. |
t3_m3f1c | AskReddit | What is the best way to get T-Mobile to waive a fee? | So, i have an android phone from T-Mobile. Ive had it for maybe 4 months, and its still under warrantee from both T-Mobile and Samsung. It has developed a problem where it turns off by itself, and of course that makes me less than happy.
I went into the T-Mobile store on saturday and asked about the problem. The guy checked for water damage, looked at a couple settings, and said he couldnt see anything there that would cause problems. He did tell me that the phone was still warranted by both them and Samsung, and that T-Mobile would be willing to replace my phone. However, they want a 20 dollar fee! I thought that was ridiculous, why should i have to pay to replace a defective product? His anwer? "Oh well if youd bought the insurance you wouldnt have to pay that."
No, i dont have phone insurance. Its a ripoff. I want the company that sold me a broken item to replace it, ive already spent enough money. I emailed Samsung and asked if they charged for warrantee repairs, and they really didnt answer, telling me pretty much that it was up to T-Mobile to deal with that. I plan to call them today rather than email, and try to get more information though.
So, has anyone else had a similar issue, particularly with T-Mobile, and gotten them to waive a fee like that? Or am i overreacting? I also plan to check the laws in my state to see if there are consumer protection laws regarding defective merchamdise...thanks for any help! | My phone is defective and the company wants money to replace said defective product. I think that sounds scamtacular. |
t3_140sl3 | self | Have you made a family member cry like this, Reddit? | One day when my family was eating out, we found out this girl named.....Ashley had this creepy crush on my younger brother (at the time he was in 5th grade) and started making jokes about it during dinner. It was my family of five, with my two cousins and their mom and our grandparents. We were sitting on one side of the table and the adults were on the other. My cousins were making jokes about the girl to him, and he was getting pretty mad and upset. I was bored, and so in my bored and adolescent mind, I decided to join in, and make more eloquent jokes than them. This was a fancy restaurant, so etiquette says to try and be as quiet as you can. I didn't really care, so I first made a joke about him and her having a baby, and naming it "babyash" after her. He got extremely mad at this, and then I said "Let's play hangman. I'm thinking of a word that has seven letters. Hint: It starts with b and ends with abyash". He either got so mad he started crying or so upset he was crying, but the whole point was he started crying and then everyone (including the adults) were laughing at him. | 1) eating at a restaurant 2) found out 5th grade brother had a stalker 3) made fun of him for it 4) bawled his brains out |
t3_jr0i0 | AskReddit | Mom's gambling addiction xpost from r/addiction | My mom is a gambling addict. She is divorced from my father and lives in a different state than my brother and I (we are both in our mid twenties). She has had an on again off again gambling addiction for the last 10 years. Recently it's gotten so bad that her house is being foreclosed on. She has a job, but it is pretty low paying; there is no way that she can support both the house, bills, and gambling addiciton. Also she is really depressed.
She has no real friends, no hobbies, and no boyfriend. She has recieved loans from her brother, my dad (her ex husband), and her mother and has managed to gamble it all away. Now that everyone is on to the game, they have stopped loaning her money. She claims that she is no longer gambling, and at one point claimed to be attending gambler's anonymous meetings, but since she is in another state, there is no real way to tell if she actually is.
My mom has always been on the more immature side. She refuses to accept any responsibility for her problems. When I talk to her I feel like I am the parent and she is the kid. I don't want to lecture her, because I know it is useless, but I am at a loss for how to communicate with her. | Mom has a gambling addiciton. She is immature and doesn't take responsibility for her actions. How can I commuicate effectively with her and help her get help? |
t3_2lsj6b | personalfinance | How do I invest in stocks? | My situation is this:
* I'm 19
* I live with my parents
* I work with my dad
* My living expense is $0
* I have approximately $10,000 in my bank account
And I have a lot of questions.
How do I get into the stock market?
Can I just talk to a broker and purchase stocks immediately, or is it a multiple-day/week affair?
Do I have to go through a broker or is there a way I can do it myself?
If I can manage my own stocks, how often can I buy and sell?
Could I hypothetically buy and sell stocks all day, for pennies of profit?
Is there a limit on amount of purchases and sales per time period?
I'm under the impression it's better to invest in high-risk stocks at my age - is this correct?
Is it a good idea to put all of my money into stocks or some sort of investment besides a savings account, or should I keep some of it in the bank? | I'm a kid who has no idea how the stock market works, but I think it's a good idea for me to get into investing beyond the bank. |
t3_qicfb | AskReddit | A famous heavy metal band re-posted & re-tweeted one of my articles on their music, leading to my best readership statistics ever - the day before my birthday. What are some surprises you received on (or near) your birthday that happened to be completely coincidental? | For those of you interested, last week I wrote a [review] of "Stalingrad", the title track of the upcoming album by German heavy metal legends Accept. As per usual, I posted the completed article to the band's Facebook page and Twitter feed, figuring I'd get a hit or two by some bored fans.
Woke up Sunday to see that Accept (or whoever manages their online profiles) had re-posted my review from their Facebook feed, and re-tweeted it on Twitter, causing a HUGE spike in my readership statistics. In the four days it had been up before the re-posting, the article had logged 85 hits. On Sunday, that number shot up to 853.
By comparison, my previous most-read article has 440 hits.
Completely unbeknownst to anyone (except myself, and now all three of you reading), all this happened the day before my birthday. I haven't told too many people that it's now my birthday (except the now two of you reading this), so getting a nod from an awesome band (and one I had the pleasure of seeing live last year) the day before what I hope will be a quiet little birthday was very cool. | A big heavy metal band gave my writing some free publicity the day before my birthday. Anybody have any similar experiences where the universe just...aligns right? |
t3_36x2r7 | relationships | Me [28 M] with my colleague [20 F] she aired her concerns about her upcoming internship and my response was bad | I work with a girl who's getting a degree in some sort of structural engineering (to be honest she described it to me and it was way above my level of knowledge) who's about to go on placement on a building site.
She was worried that she might get bullied because the industry is typically male and she's small, attractive, blonde. She described herself as not the typical girl who's interested in this.
My response was something along the lines of you've been on building sites before so your used to it right?
But I was serving customers whilst talking and she had to go back to another store (I effectively work in a different building, I am completely on my own for 8 hours, unless I call another store requesting someone come up to see me).
I wasn't thinking and even when I am my thoughts tend to get a little jumbled up (I have a couple of learning difficulties so when I talk I have a habit of missing bits out).
I've had 8 hours to dwell on it and I've realised how bad of a response it was.
Just because she's chosen to be in that industry and has probably experienced it before doesn't mean she has to experience it nor should she be used to it.
I spoke to her a few times later in the shift but there always quick exchanges, like she had to give me paper work, or I said goodbye to her and wished her luck when I was leaving to catch my train.
She didn't seem angry at me, we had a nice goodbye (she's leaving for 2 months then coming back) but I feel super bad about what I said.
Should I apologise? If so how should I write it because I'm worried about saying the wrong thing and making things worse.
If she were a friend I might be more eager to do it straight away but given that we work together I don't want to create a situation where I get myself in trouble. | Colleague told me she was worried about being bullied on a building site, my response was she's been on building sites before so your used to it. Realised how bad a response it was, want to appologise but not sure if I should/how do I best go about it? |
t3_amuy3 | AskReddit | Reddit - need help deciding on a good birthday gift for my mother. | My mother's birthday is on Saturday and I am running short of ideas for her. She is generally very difficult to buy for - not because she is picky, but because she never reveals anything the she wants to us, and she and my father are not necessarily in need of anything. That said she is an incredibly sweet woman who works extremely hard to keep her house running, her family fed and happy, and volunteers her time in the local area.
I would love to say that money is no object for me, but I don't have a terribly high level of income, so any gift I get her has to be relatively affordable. It is always hard to think of something because usually Christmas taps me out on good ideas. Aside from that her only real hobby is cooking (of which she does an excellent job), but getting her something else for the kitchen seems like I'm asking her to go make me a pie or something.
So what say you, reddit? She isn't very tech savvy and keeps herself too busy to really try (maybe checks email once per week), does not use spa gift certificates if she gets them, and does not watch much TV. Any legitimate, helpful, creative suggestions will be greatly appreciated...and likely will earn you an orangered envelope and an upvote. | my mom is awesome and I'm having a tough time deciding what to get her as a birthday gift. |
t3_27q9ti | tifu | TIFU by almost going blind | Ok this wasn't today but I figured most of the posts aren't so why not post mine? A little background info first, I have had pretty bad vision for a long time (3rd grade) and I am currently 17. I had worn glasses for a long time but I now mostly where contacts. Because of my horrible vision I have to have these horrible custom contacts ordered and they are really expensive. My family is middle class but we live in an expensive area so we don't have too much money. I am also very lazy and this is a key factor to the story. I was on my last pair of contacts out of my six month supply but I could not get new ones for another 2 1/2 months. I had to wear this last pair much longer than the others and I got lazy as usual. I would sleep in my contacts since I had gotten away with it before with no problems. However this time it caught up with me after I played in a rec league basketball game and my eyes were burning. I could barely see anything or look at light. We thought it was an eye infection because my eyes were completely bright red. I went to a doctor and was sent to an eye specialist and a cornea specialist. The doctors told me I had been starving my eyes of oxygen and If I had not come to the doctor I could have lost use of my eyes. Missed a week of school and had to lay in bed with no light. Also had to wear super black glasses when outside. | Slept in contacts like a DUMBASS which scarred eyes and almost lost my vision. |
t3_23tocr | tifu | TIFU by not wearing an undershirt | M/23 here. Happened a few months ago. The company I was working at had some people from HR coming to do interviews for a higher up position. I had been waiting to wear this new shirt I got, which was a little snug but I liked how the color looked on me. Finally got my chance to interview with the HR woman. She was an attractive blonde, probably early 30's and really friendly/genuine.
I sit down facing her in the conference room and begin the interview. I am nailing this shit, on point with my accomplishments - clear and assertive answers and even remembering to smile and make small talk. But I kept noticing her eyes going from my stomach and back to me. She seems distracted. I keep on with the interview which lasted about 15 mins and as I get up I realize the middle button of my new shirt was undone. She had been staring at my hairy, pudgy bellybutton the whole time and probably had a good laugh about it to the other managers. | shirt button was undone, cute HR lady saw my fat belly when I sat down. |
t3_2rcxd7 | tifu | TIFU by watching the first episode of Game of Thrones | No epic fuckup here, but it's annoying and happened just now. For several years now a great portion of my friends plus the internet have been telling me that I "just HAVE to see this show, you're gonna love it!". So today I signed up for HBO online, pressed play and watched the first episode while thinking "wow they really go straight into the story here, expecting me to bond with well over 20 named characters within minutes". I really tried to follow along, with some success. Just as the end credits roll, I realize I've been watching the first episode of season 4. | I started watching Game of thrones on season 4 instead of season 1. Now I'm loaded with spoilers. |
t3_3dwzyz | tifu | TIFU by not getting a manager for help | So to make a long story short, I went to the bathroom and I saw the guest I sold tickets to a few minutes earlier at box office. I work at a movie theater.
Anyways he kindly asked if he could get refunds because his father was a bit sick. I noticed his dad a bit red on his face and had his head facing the sink as if he was going to throw up.
Now me being the idiot, I asked if he wanted to come with me to go find a manager to get a refund. And he then tells his dad to wait right there in that position, and I'm like "I think you should just wait there".
Now it's not over yet, I just left him and his dad and said "Well I'm definitely sure you can get your refund, just find a manager when all goes well" and then took off.
This just hit me right now because of how stupid I am. I should've asked and made sure his dad was alright, infact I shouldve gotten a manager myself. The thing is I didnt think it was THAT bad to a point where I noticed the ambulance came, I think they went to escort the kids dad, not sure but they went to the bathroom where they were.
So now I feel stupid. This happened about 5 hours ago. | didn't think this kids dad was that ill, turns out an ambulance came and I did nothing to help. |
t3_36twvx | relationship_advice | I [20M] have a crush on my friend [21 F] who lives on the other side of the country, but we haven't seen each other in a while. | I've already posted this on /r relationships but I'm just trying to get as much advice as possible. There's quite a bit of background to this but I'll do my best to avoid a wall of text.
I first met this girl my freshmen year of college about two years ago, where we shared classes together the first semester. We got to know each other relatively well and exchanged numbers, mostly for school related business. However we soon started hanging out more often, became friends on facebook, and became more casual with texts to the point where I developed a huge crush on her. I learned over the course of the semester that she had a boyfriend back in her home state but I knew better than to interfere so I continued our friendship until she ended up transferring at the end of the semester to another university in her home state.
At this point I practically forgot about her and didn't speak to her for about a year until facebook reminded me her birthday was coming up. Not wanting to conform to the usual facebook posts, I texted her in February because I'd saved her number and she actually replied back, thanking me. What happened next, I didn't expect. We've been texting ever since.
She asked me how I'd been, how my classes were coming, interests, and basically how life was. These conversations have been going on since February and while its been enjoyable, its been near torture because its brought up all the old feelings and the crush has resumed. She's texted me pictures of herself, started conversations, and casually mentioned once or twice that she'd broken up with her boyfriend. These are things no other girl in my entire life has ever shared with me. I'm not sure she is aware of my feelings for her.
Yes, I know I'm a bit of wuss for not admitting anything to her but the fact that she lives in another state and is unlikely to visit causes me to rethink everything every time. What I am looking to get out of this post is whether to just admit my feelings to her, or to slowly let this relationship slowly float away. Every single day that goes by is another day that the crush worsens. | Texting with a crush in another state who is probably unaware of my feelings. Do I admit everything or just let this one slide because we are unlikely to see each other? |
t3_3arzoh | relationships | Me [24 M] with my GF [25 F] of 3 years, conflicts and another woman | I've been dating my girlfriend for 3 years but we have been fighting on-and-off for some time now and it sometimes feels like we don't have many shared interests. I love her in spite of her occassinally annoying personality traits and we often have a good time when we're together. She is my first serious relationship and I'm her first as well, and in the time we've been dating we have become pretty mutually dependent on each other (both introverts). Although we fight maybe once a week (usually not serious) we always set our differences aside and move past it.
Last summer I met this amazing woman (lets call her Sheila) at my work and we became good friends. Upon first meeting her I developed a pretty healthy crush, but I've never let her know that. We have shared interests and great chemistry when we hang out, but when we first met, we both were in relationships so nothing happened. Her relationship has since ended and we no longer work at the same organization, but we still get together (usually in a group) about once a month and my gf usually comes along.
I really enjoy having Sheila around (my gf is a bit suspicious) and when I fight with my gf I often find myself thinking of Sheila. I sometimes consider that I might be happier with Sheila, but then again I don't have a deep relationship with her so I could be totally wrong. Also, I don't know how Sheila feels about me because I've been afraid to ask.
Am I getting greedy and should just stay happy with my current woman OR should I consider alternatives? How do I approach the subject with Sheila and what if she says she's not into me? She and my gf are acquaintances and both love gossip. | In a decent relationship, but thinking of another. |
t3_x8b1o | AskReddit | What's the most randomly insulting thing that you've been called by someone you've just met. I'll start. | I've been looking for a job for the past couple months so that I can afford to move out of my parents house and pay for next years tuition. Until then I have no money so I get around by bike. Also, being a bit of a dork I carry around a plastic light saber, wear a this awesome hat that looks like something Joseph Stalin would wear, goggles, and frequently a My Little Pony T-shirt. I think it also helps to add that I live in Arizona and have blond shoulder length hair.
Anyways, My friend started dating this girl that I don't know, and she invited me to a party full of people I've never met. I'm mingling and avoiding the alcohol with a cup full of orange fanta. I seem to be doing pretty well; talking to this group of guys and generally being awesome when this girl walks up to me and says "You're that creepy faggot who rides who ride's around on a bike." Not mad at all; just making conversation. I said something to the effect of "yeah, that's me." and blew her off, but I was really offend and kinda hurt. anyway didn't ruin the night. It just kinda threw me off. | I dress weird and ride a bike. A gilr called me "that creepy faggot who rides who ride's a bike." Feels bad man. |
t3_3xsa36 | relationships | My boyfriend [21/M] of 1 1/2yrs said that if I [21/F] don't want kids, relationship is waste of time | I am definitely not ready to have children and I don't particularly want children later in life. It's not something that I am even thinking about right now. If I fell pregnant at this time in my life I would get an abortion (I had a pregnancy scare a couple of months ago and when I said I would get an abortion if I had to, my boyfriend called me a murderer). The idea of childbirth actually kind of frightens and disgusts me and if I did want kids later on I like to think that I would adopt.
My boyfriend talks about babies a lot and wants to be a father. He brings it up often even though he knows how I feel about the matter. The other day, we were talking about it again and he said, "Well, if you don't want to have my kids then this relationship is a waste of time, I'll have to go and find someone who will."
This really hurt me. To know that he would only be dating me to soften me up to bear his children, that he would leave me for someone who would have his kids if it came to it. And the fact that he said it as such a throwaway comment, it really hurt.
I don't know if I should break up with him over this. Of course, I don't want to break up with him at all and I don't know how serious he was about this statement. When I told him how his statement made me feel he just kind of laughed it off like I was overreacting. Am I overreacting? I don't know what to do! | My boyfriend wants kids in the future but I don't, he said that if I don't want to then our relationship is a waste of time. Should I leave him or am I overreacting? |
t3_37lmyq | relationships | I [27F] met a really great guy [32M] who doesn't currently live in my city but is moving here soon. A few weeks later, I met another [24M]. Am so confused! | I'll try to explain this as well as I can! So, about a month ago, I [27M] met someone [32M] who I had an instant connection with - I will call him A. We shared a sense of humor and he was incredibly genuine and kind. The unfortunate side of the situation is that he was only in town for a week for work. We exchanged contact information before he left, and we have been texting every so often throughout the past few weeks. He recently told me that he will be moving to my city for work in about 3 weeks which, naturally, I was excited about.
Recently, about a week ago, I met another really great guy [24M] who lives in my city, I will call him B. He asked me out, and I said yes as A and I are in nowhere near a committed realtionship, and I was really just curious about B. Sometimes dates are fun and are just a great way to meet new people and have good conversation. Anyhow, we went on a date that lasted for hours and had a great connection as well. We have only gone on one date, and, based on things he says, B is already showing signs of wanting to be in a relationship.
B is a great guy, but I hardly know him and I don't want things to move too fast. And my mind is still extremely curious about the connection I had with A. I want to know if it was real or if it was just a crush.
Any one out there who has had a similar experience and/or can offer some wisdom on how I should handle this situation? Any input is greatly appreciated!! | had great connection with one guy who left town but is moving back; met another great one who currently lives in my city. Not sure what to do! |
t3_2z9lv5 | tifu | TIFU by testing a development system | First ever post... yay!
Well I'm a sysadmin and had to setup a copy of the production system for the company's website. After doing so I had to post an article to prove its working correctly. As it was late and I hadn't slept alot the last week, I went there to post an article on how my ex-boss had spontanously died (hes still at the same company) whilst not being aware that this fucker had automatically relayed me to the production domain when logging into the administrative panel.
Well, just for saveties sake I welt to the production website to check if the dev system really connected to the correct database and discovered the fuckup. Sadly the System has a log of all actions submitted to the website thats shown very publicly to all the other sysadmins... Good thing I know a bit about databases to remedy this. | Boss not dead, I'm not (yet) fired. |
t3_c201z | AskReddit | Reddit, I deleted my account hoping to destroy all traces; it didn't happen that way. | Stupidly, when I joined reddit I used a username I use for many other things as well. It'd be easy to say that it was me. And during my time on reddit, I did and said some things that I'd rather step away from. Naturally, thinking "this is just a website, I don't really lose anything if I delete it", I thought I would be set if I just blew up the whole thing. Well as you might have known (unlike me) that's not how it works. Now things that I'm afraid will be seen are stuck in the internet and I don't even have access to individual my activities to delete them.
Yes, I realize what I did was pretty damn stupid. I'm just looking for a solution so I can make it go away. Is there one? Otherwise, I will always have this nagging fear that reddit, a site that prides itself being an internet site for the people of the internet, will end up ruining me the way we often fear google or facebook will do. | I stupidly deleted my account and I would like to know if there is any way at all to make everything on that account go away. |
t3_13ibxt | AskReddit | Why is it such a crime to care about money when it comes to a career? | This is something that has been bothering lately. I have been considering where my life is going in the next 10 years, and have been filling out some career worksheets that ask questions like:
What interests me the Most? What are my current Skills and Strengths for pursuing these interests?
What is most important to me in my work?
I have been being honest with myself and money places quite high on that list. In the past though, I have been offered jobs that I have turned down because they do not pay enough, and have been told by recruiters that I am to focused on money.
Why is that a bad thing? I really enjoy travel and nice toys and I find a lot of happiness in the things money can provide. The question is, why is it viewed as such a crime to place money as your primary focus when it comes to your career? Personally I like my career field and I want to make as much money as possible, as long as there is a good happiness / money balance I do not see why society views that as such a bad thing. | Why does society see perusing money first to be such a bad thing if money can provide safety and to an extend happiness? |
t3_3x6vyh | relationships | Walked in on my Boyfriend(M 29) of 4 1/2 years screwing another woman on our bed. | Sorry/not sorry you had to see that, but maybe you thought I was kidding when I said I was done with your bullshit. I care as much about how you feel about that as you have everytime you've fed me some bullshit or straight up cut me out of the picture for your convenience. This is what happens when I don't bother to think about you or how you feel
Answer me or don't, idgaf
But I don't need to be your father/scratching post/garbage can"
He sent this on messenger...
I (F 25)can't close my eyes without seeing them, I need to sleep and I just can't.
I took a whole day to get moving supplies, he offered to feed my cats while I was at work, and gave me a time frame. He didn't know I had called out to get a headstart on packing. I unlock the door, hear moaning, he has her bent over on my bed. I say "Get the Fuck out" he closes the door to give her privacy, I ask for my pot, roll a joint and left. The message above is what he said for himself.
Part of me wants to shame him, part of me accepts what happened as my own fault, part of me wants to forget about this and move on. This is excruciating,
Because I know this is my fault as it is his. | caught BF cheating, I didn't do enough and I can't function properly |
t3_2knc7n | college | So My Friends Wants His Girlfriend To Live With Us... | Long story short, my friend is basically demanding that his girlfriend should be allowed to live with us ("us" being myself and 4 other guys) when we move into our apartment for college. Nobody else in the house wants this.
More details. You'd think it would be cut and dry at that point, but for whatever reason, nobody else is willing to tell him no. They literally begged me to do it because I'm apparently the "most stubborn." They are all extremely adverse to conflict, except, of course, the one who wants his girlfriend to live with us. So now I'm in the fun situation where I have to be the one to argue with him, and everyone else is just going to say they are neutral, even though they very clearly aren't. I personally feel that this bullshit, but I'm willing to take the heat for the benefit of all of us.
My biggest concern is that someone is going to give in to him, despite that fact that I EXPLICITLY told them that I will only do this if they at least remain neutral. As soon as one person caves, I'll lose the argument immediately because it will be 2v1.
So I guess my question is what do I do in this situation. No matter what he's going to be upset with me, but what is the most effective way to tell him this? He is the kind of person who will immediately get defensive if you challenge him in any way, and I already argue with him a lot in the first place, so he's going to be on the defensive immediately. I'm not very good at conflict resolution, so any and all input would be greatly appreciated. This whole situation is completely ridiculous. | My friend, who is very argumentative and stubborn wants to have his girlfriend live in the house we and 3 other guys are renting for college. Nobody wants her there but they're all afraid of conflict, so I have to argue with him about this while they remain neutral and don't support me at all. |
t3_33je6m | Parenting | Am I making a big deal over this? | My son (5yo) had his friend over this evening, and we allow him to watch (supervised of course) streams of people playing games - he is big into video games (Super Mario, etc.)
I was in the middle of making dinner, and I overheard the familiar sound of the streaming - and the streamer said the "F" word. Now my son is aware of "bad words" - we dont say them, but we know that he may hear them at one point or another. We gently explain how bad words hurt others, and its not nice to do - we also encourage an open dialogue if he is curious about a word...but he never repeats them in public.
I apologized, and took the tablet and the children understood why. I feel like I should send a quick text to the friends mother explaining what occurred - while its quite trivial - I feel compelled to mention it to her, would you if you were me, or am I making a big deal over this? | Son and friend overheard a curse word, I'm thinking of mentioning it to friends mom. |
t3_3p1qkw | relationships | How can I [21F] stop being jealous of my brother [23M] who is an engineer? | I am finishing my degree in biochemistry in Spring 2017 and my older brother will finish his degree by Spring 2016 in electrical engineering. I am jealous of his degree because it will get him a great job right after graduation and my degree won't get me anywhere but grad school or professional school. Initially I wanted to go to pharmacy school or PA school but later changed my mind because I don't like healthcare after working in it. I like the technical part of science more like understanding equations, doing math, understanding why organic chemistry works, ect. I am also pretty introverted and like spending time alone which is not a lot of healthcare jobs offer. I could work in a lab but the pay is complete crap, and the jobs are scarce and I don't like the idea of working in a lab for the rest of my life. I thought of being an engineer before starting college but I was close minded about what they do because I thought they work in factories with steam everywhere in hot horrible conditions or on cars. Neither of which I am interested in but then I realized computer and software engineering existed and saw youtube videos of working for facebook, apple, google, ect. and saw how cool it was. Now my brother is finishing his EE degree and I'm jealous of all the opportunities he will get. He never had a job before in his life and just because of his EE degree he is getting offers from different companies. The only jobs I found were in retail at CVS pharmacy and I worked there for 9 months in hell then quit. I am not getting anything out of it and the only thing I would be getting are crap jobs working in a lab or something. While he is going to be travelling the world, working in silicon valley, and getting paid 6 figures by the time he is 25/26. My uncle even works for apple and plans on putting him there and I'm just jealous of it all. He might even work abroad in Dubai and my job doesn't require travel at all. I'm just jealous and I wish I werent so close minded about it before I researched into it... | Jealous of my brother who is going to be an engineer while I am stuck with a useless degree. |
t3_b2509 | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, I'm fairly certain that my girlfriend of 4 months is planning to break up with me. What should I do? | Small backstory: We spent Valentine's day at my house, we ate bacon all day, watched a movie, had a grand ol' time.
In the morning, I left notes around my bathroom for her to find. This led to an origami rose that I make only for Valentine's Day which leads to another note wiped into the calcium deposits of my shower door: "I love you." (We've never said it to each other. After this gesture, I did but she didn't.)
Fast forward to that evening. She borrows my computer for awhile while I'm cooking. After cooking, I use my computer while she is gathering her stuff for me to take her home. I find her blog open among my tabs. I click on it and read her reaction to it. Apparently, it was pretty awesome. However, she scolds herself for putting off breaking up with me (Contemplating for a few weeks). I don't mention it to her at all. I take her home and that's that. | I did something awesome, putting myself out there for her on Valentine's, find out she's planning to break up with me. |
t3_1s3mp1 | dating_advice | I need help with a girl i really really like | Hey everyone this my 1st submit to any subreddit(i'm glad i found this one :) ) ever and also English isn't my first language, so sorry for any grammar mistakes and too much text.
So I'm 17 years old, 3rd year of High school.During these last 3 years I've been acting really anti-social, i would not talk to anyone during school, only to my best friend that i know for very long time (when i was not antisocial).People would always ask me why am i not talking and try to talk to me.Lately I've been more open and talkative and i already see results, I'm invited to parties, going out with them, talk etc.
Now that I've solved that problem, there is one girl that i can't stop thinking of(i'm happy when i get some sleep now and then), I'm crazy about her.The thing is while i was anti-social she was trying to be friend with me, we were sitting together during classes, and i was acting like a jerk.Now that I've stopped being depressed i don't know how to start over with her, even to be friend.Once I even told her that I'm crazy about her, and she responded saying that she is currently in relationship and we could maybe go out sometimes.I just ignored that cause i was really sad i thought it would be better just to forget about her, easier said then done...Since then we haven't spoken 1 word, not even hi and we go together to class.
I would appreciate your thoughts and help.I am not afraid to ask her out just i think we have nothing in common(maybe that we like video games) and it would be really hard to start conversation with her then.. :(
Or i should maybe just give up? | Crazy about girl in class that i have hardly ever spoken with for 3 years that i know her, she knows that i like her, can't start a conversation because nothing in common |
t3_kx3du | AskReddit | Are there any knowledgable Christians out there? I have a serious question. | I just watched a video of a man being beat by an entire community and burned alive for being gay. Then I thought, man, I hope hell is real so those people can burn there for all eternity. Thats when another thought came about... Why is it that people who aren't actually bad people can be sent to hell for lack of sexual self control? Or even a little white lie to parents? Or, hell, just saying God's name in vain?
So here's the question:
How could somebody who masturbates 7 days a week even be punished in the same category as a person who murders?
Why is there a punishment for that at all? Why is masturbating or even sex before marraige frowned upon? | Why do people who masturbate/fornicate get sent to the same place as murderers & rapists etc..? |
t3_to441 | relationships | He says he thought he was ready but he was wrong. | Me 28f. Him 24m. Dating 1.5 yrs. Long distance with the expectation of moving to the same area in approximately a year. We fell for each other hard. For months, I was under the impression this was the man I was going to marry.
Things were so awesome up until about six months ago. Around that time I noticed he was sort of...pulling away. I questioned him about it then and he said his feelings hadn't changed.
About a week ago we had a huge fight. He has been depressed lately due to some issues at work. During this fight he shared with me that he thought he was ready for the type of commitment I want but he's not. He says he wants to stay with me and date me but that he feels we need to know each other better. That he thinks I am probably somebody he would want to marry in the future but that he doesn't know for sure.
That he wants to live his life and not feel like he has to check in with someone all the time. That he's not ready for that level of commitment. He said that he really never was but that his patience was higher in the beginning for the type of behavior expected in that type of relationship. Now that time has passed, he doesn't want to be that involved.
Since this revelation, I have felt sad and numb. Sad because I would often daydream about our future together and that's a big question mark now. Numb because I don't really feel like I know what is going on emotionally.
My question: Is this something that can be done? Can I take a step back and engage in this different type of relationship? Is he using me? I'm so confused.
I do feel like I was starting to lose myself in the relationship so I have been taking steps to do things for me and get involved in activities. I just love this guy so much. I'm so hurt and confused. Since all this, I've pulled back and spent more time on me. Strangely enough, my boyfriend is more complimentary than ever but it feels like there's a wall between us now. | Was in serious relationship with boyfriend. Boyfriend says he wants to slow things down and no longer looks at me as his future partner, just a potential future partner. |
t3_1443fn | AskReddit | When I was 11-12 at a bible camp, I may have seen a ghost, or had a vivid hallucination. Same thing happened to me at 18, in my garage last summer. Details inside, if interested. My question is, how many people of reddit have actually seen something similar? | The first instance, I was in the top bunk on the first night of a weekend trip. I have a phobia of sleep (from past abuse) that was much, much worse then. Especially when I was in a new place.
So, I was laying on my left side, facing the wall, with my eyes closed trying to get some sleep, hoping the sounds of the other girls all sleeping would lull me to sleep. Well, I decided to flip over because I felt like something was staring at me. I turned, and there was a blond girl, probably around 15. She was wearing a white dress, though I don't remember what design. She had a completely blank expression on her face as she stared at me. I gasp, close my eyes, open them, and she was gone.
Now, there weren't any girls on the trip who looked like her, besides, she was standing above me, I could see her from the waist up, and I was on the top bunk. I never knew if she was a ghost/spirit/whatever you call it, or just a hallucination.
The second instance was recently. In the summer. I was getting home from a late night walk, and opened my garage door to get to my house, when I saw a man sitting in a chair in front of me to the left. I'd like to point out that my boyfriend and I were letting a friend of ours live in our garage temporarily, so all of his things were there, including the chair.
The man actually looked similar to the friend who was staying there, but couldn't have been him for several reasons. 1: Julian (the friend) was gone for the weekend. 2: He disappeared after I closed my eyes, like the girl. 3: He smiled really creepy (possibly because of the shadows, and waved with a weird flick of the wrist. | Saw a 15 yr old girl hovering waist high beside a top bunk when i was 11. Saw a man sitting in a dark garage. Both disappeared when I closed my eyes. |
t3_2i4pqc | relationship_advice | Met very independent girl, not sure how to handle | Ok guys so was at a bar last night with a friend. The bartender was really cute and funny. She made fun of everybody in a tasteful way that kept things moving. Once she found out I was Jewish (I asked her about her hamsa tattoo) she ragged on me too. After we'd paid the bill my friend went to have a smoke and I stayed and asked her for her number. She gave it to me with an "I guess, but don't get too 'texty'". Now I would like to hangout with this girl outside of her work but I'm not sure how to do it. She is a very independent, "I can buy my own bourbon" type of girl. If target not be that guy that is always at her work and obviously texting her a lot is out of the question. I also realize that she is a bartender and gets hit on everyday and might have just been nice to me. Lend me your ideas brothers and sisters. | I need help getting an independent girl to hangout outside of work |
t3_1ditl7 | needadvice | I'm getting evicted during finals, should I tell my professors? | I am a student living with a family(landlords) who have been in the house we are staying in for the past 22 years. During Feb. I found a foreclosure notices posted on the door with a threat of eviction. I brought it to my landlord and he told me that they got them all of the time and it was a popular scheme in the neighborhood to get the tenants out so the house could be robbed. (I've heard this happen to other people) This morning my landlady sits me down and tells me that we have to be out of the house by today, May 1st. I have a huge test tomorrow that I have been studying for but I am so overwhelmed by stress that I can't concentrate.
She then goes to the bank and returns telling me she got an extension and that we absolutely have to be out of the house by June 1st. I asked her about the eviction notice and she told me she and her husband have been trying to decide what to do. Normally a 1 month notice wouldn't be that bad except I am taking 20 units and have staggering test/projects/finals up to the 25th. I know this is life, and it happens but should I let my professors know? | Landlords didn't tell me about the eviction notice was supposed to be evicted today, have a month, staggering tests/projects/finals till the 25th of May. Should I let my teacher know? |
t3_h0rgo | running | Post Marathon recovery? How long and what do you do? | Last one from me in this series, promise :) My perspective is that of a keen amateur with no running ambition, other than having fun running and staying healthy for years to come... Veteran-1 next year ;)
It's been 3 weeks since Paris and I just finished my first week training with a first 10Km run.
I said in my last post that my first 6-7Km run felt great. The day after didn't. So I gave it 2 days rest, another 7Km run after that, 1 day rest and today (Sat) I just finished my first 10Km run.
Various pains after the Marathon pretty much prevented me from running any sooner. Foot pain right after the Marathon and for pretty much 2 weeks after. Overlapping was a back of the knee pain (on the same leg) + sore calf.
Legs pain are interesting. Some you need to watch very carefully but some are just your body telling you it's fed-up with you. Knowing which one's which is the most difficult.
Also on being out of shape: HR around 171 today (hot) when it should've been around 148-155 and rest rate at 95 after 1/2 hour when it should've been down to 70-80 by now.
But, it's not all doom and gloom. I'm back running and managed not to faint a single time in the weeks following my second marathon.
Hopefully this will come as a warning: It took me 2.5 years from couch to first Marathon. 1 year later (running a good 60-70Km a week in my last 4 months), knowing what I was putting myself through, I still managed to get hurt and needed 2 weeks rest and probably another 4-6 weeks slowly ramping-up the effort to fully recover. | Cleared a backlog of various pains in the 3 weeks post Paris, ran a first 10Km today, so far so good but still completely out of shape. |
t3_52nqy3 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my SO [00 F] However long, What was your worst relationship? | Posting this as kind of a way to let off steam from past relationships. I am in a good one now, but I thought we could all laugh at the worst ones we've been in. Mine was with a girl who is beyond crazy that she should have her own spot in the dictionary. This girl would be set off by the tiniest thing and it didn't even have to be something you did. She had an insane temper that rivals that of a tsunami. She was an alcoholic and did drugs like they were going out of style. She hated her blonde hair, so she constantly died it jet black and if any roots showed, she would go ballistic. She would tear through everything if she couldn't find anything and destroy our apartment every day and would have an absolute meltdown over stuff every single day. We had the police called on us about a dozen times, but that was because people thought I was abusing her, but it was the other way around. She would attack me and bite me and try to kill me I believe. She broke dishes on me, bottles, lamps, toys, videogame controllers, and whatever else she could find. I never cheated on her or did one ill thing against her. She did this because she had borderline personality disorder and never got the treatment after diagnosed. The damage she caused is something I don't think I can ever get over, but I have been able to overcome a lot of the damage and am starting to be happy again. It took five years. | What was your worst relationship? |
t3_trisg | relationships | Is it worth breaking up over him flirting? | 22F here in my first relationship. He's a 28M and we've been dating almost 9 months.
So here's my problem: when we're out with friends, he's very flirtatious (sitting on other girls' laps, having them sit on his, smacking their butts, hugging them, etc.). This in itself isn't necessarily a problem. It hurts my feelings, but it's not necessarily a dealbreaker. He's expressed that this is just how his personality is, though when we first started dating he never did these things.
The real problem is when he does this things at a get together and doesn't pay any attention to me. It's then that I feel like I'm a second banana; the girl he goes home with, but not the girl he's really interested in. I'm the fallback, it seems, and that's unacceptable to me. This has only happened a couple of times recently, but I fear it's only going to get worse from here.
I plan on talking to him tonight about it (fuck, I'm nervous and scared... I'm shaking at work. :( ). I have a friend who's in a similar situation, but has seemingly resigned herself to being his cuckhold and I have always vowed to never settle like that. If my boyfriend can't change (and I mean really change, not just put in the effort for a month or two and reverting), then I feel like I have to break up with him. I hate feeling jealous and like I'm competing for my boyfriend's attention, and I hate how unattractive and lonely it makes me feel.
Is it crazy of me to feel this way? And is it really worth breaking up over something as seemingly harmless as flirting? | Boyfriend likes to physically flirt with other girls, it hurts when he ignores me while he does this. Is it worth breaking up over? |
t3_4vhs1f | personalfinance | Refinancing - wait for credit score to rise? | Throwaway, so can go into detail.
I have $70k in private student debt, most of it at 8%. I've looked into refinancing a few places, and looks like SoFi will offer a fixed-rate consolidation at 5.375%.
I started a real, stable job this past year, and recently got a raise which was applied retroactively. I used the amount to fully pay off $5k in credit card debt, which I anticipate will bump my credit score up due to the reduction in both credit utilization and total balance.
I'm considering holding off on pulling the trigger on the student loan consolidation until the credit score change shows up, with the hope that reapplying with higher income + better credit score could produce a lower rate. | How much might a recent credit score change affect a student debt refinancing offer, if at all? |
t3_4oyw6y | relationships | Me [20F], getting frustrated with my [28 M] sheltered boyfriend of 1.5 years not having common sense. | My boyfriend and I have been living together for a while now and I'm getting really frustrated with him not really having common sense about simple things and maybe being a little bit selfish? He's not mean or unwilling to do things, he just doesn't think to do chores and stuff himself or finish them. for example, when he feeds our cats he drops cat food all over the floor, I told him to be more careful and he still did it the next time and didn't clean it up. Or he'll wipe something off the counter but leave the gross paper towel on the counter instead of throwing it out. Also, if we have leftovers in the fridge he'll eat all of it and not leave any food for me, even when there's no other food in the house. I recently got really pissed because he ate all the capicollo my grandfather made and gave to me, there was enough for both of us.
I'm pretty sure most of the reason for him being like this is that he was a sheltered as a child, his mom always cleaned up after him and his family was pretty well off. I grew up in the opposite situation and I don't know what to do because when I confront him about it he feels super bad since he legitimately doesn't know what he does is annoying, then I feel bad for being mad at him. | My boyfriend has no common sense about cleaning things because he never had to do chores growing up and eats all the food because he doesn't think about what I'll have to eat. |
t3_1uthhx | personalfinance | What do I do when I empty my emergency fund due to an emergency and it's not enough? | I'm 24 and was living pretty modestly with my biggest expense being rent when my job cut my hours last summer. It's a position where my schedule is too irregular (read: academic calendar) to pick up something else, so I dipped into my emergency fund AND savings to cover rent for a couple months until we started school again, but now am in a place where I moved back home, I'm paycheck to paycheck, and have no savings as a reserve. Just looking into what my options are or looking for possible strategies to build up that fund quickly in case something else happens. | Job cut my hours, had to blow through savings/rainy day funds to cover expenses, now worried about if something else happens. |
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