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t3_2vxrd6 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my I don't know [18 F] of two years. She's gone on two dates with someone else. | Let's call her Mary. I met Mary in April 2013. We hit it off right away. We admitted to having feelings for each other early on, but as I was moving to another state for my junior year of high school and she was going to a different country for her senior year, we didn't start a relationship. While we were in different countries, we talked everyday. For hours. She came back in June and we still talk daily, and admit to having feelings for each other. She's at college a few hours from me. I'm moving to the other side of the nation in August for mine. She said she didn't want to be in a relationship because of the current and the pending distance. I respected it. It hurt, but I respected it.
A few weeks ago she told me she was in love with me, but still couldn't commit to a relationship. She was molested by her father as a child and says she's afraid of relationships because everyone she's ever loved has hurt her. Last night she told me she recently went on a couple dates with someone. I said that I was upset by that, and then she went on about how much more I mean to her than anyone else and how she loves me. She just doesn't believe in relationships, especially long distance ones. I guess my question is, what the fuck? I don't understand anything that's happening. | My quasi-something 'loves' me but is flighty and confusing. |
t3_26hbsj | relationships | I [19M] want to reconnect with an old date[19F] | I dated this girl back in January once and we really hit it off. I did something stupid back then,panicked and nervous I alluded to us starting a relationship after the first date. This put her off (obviously) and we haven't had communication since then. I've since grown as a person and I can certainly say I'm a way more mature person than I ever was back then.
Any who I saw her account on that "People you may Know" tab on FB and it sort of makes me interested in reconnecting. Trouble is I just don't really know what I'd say. I already apologized for my mistake back when I did in January but of course it didn't help. I really do think that the two of us are compatible in some way and I know it can't be bias because the last time I even thought about her was months ago.
I guess what I'm asking is, what should I say to make her at least consider going out for coffee sometime? | Had date with girl months ago, would like to reconnect and possibly go on another but don't know how to start. |
t3_2n1ajs | relationships | Need ideas to make sure my boyfriend [33M] feels loved during a sexless period in our relationship | My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years and have a great dynamic. We started off as a casual hookup, but developed from there into a serious relationship. We're best friends, laugh a lot and are very respectful of one another.
Sex has always been an important part of our relationship- its how we first became attracted to one another. My boyfriend has always had a higher sex drive than me, but we've balanced it by incorporating a lot of mental sexual play to make up for when I'm not physically up for it. He's super understanding of when I'm not in the mood and has always been accommodating.
Physical intimacy is super important to him to feel appreciated and loved. I'm sure this is true for a lot of people, but I would say for my boyfriend this seems to be particularly accurate. Generally when we have issues it's when we go to our respective homes for the holidays and end up not being intimate for a few weeks because of overlapping schedules. Because I know it's important to him, I try to keep our frequency up as much as possible.
I have always had girl problems that have affected my self drive, but lately they've gotten pretty debilitating. Sometimes it's just pain after sex or certain positions I can't do, but in the last two months or so it's been pretty much all penetration. I've seen a doctor about this and am trying different things, but it's inevitably affecting our sex life. My boyfriend is very much a pleaser and it's difficult for him to enjoy himself when he knows I am uncomfortable. Because of that he's also less satisfied with oral, though I've been doing that a lot lately.
His birthday was two days ago we weren't able to have birthday sex. He's really understanding but I know it's getting to him, and I can how the lack of recent intimacy is starting to affect other aspects of our relationship.
Does anyone have recommendations for how I can make sure my boyfriend feels connected and loved while I'm unable to have sex? I don't know how long this will last but I want to try to prevent it affecting our relationship too negatively. | can't have sex because of ongoing girl problems, looking for ways to make sure my boyfriend still feels valued and connected to me. |
t3_1ssxsf | AskReddit | Military of Reddit: What is the funniest thing you've ever seen on the job/done to a new guy in your shop? | I'm curious being new to the military myself what some of you that have been in for a while have seen yourself.
When I first came in after a few weeks on the job they told me I had to go get my steel toed boots inspected for cracks(I'm in maintenance) so being the newest and lowest rank I couldn't really say no even though it seemed fishy and I don't think steel cracks that easily or often. So I go to get them x-rayed. After about the minutes of waiting the lady comes back out when them saying they are cracked and I need to get new ones, she also says they are radioactive and I can't wear them for a while. So she puts condemned red tags on them and puts them in plastic bags. I walk back to my shop and tell them what happened. So they tell me to go to a different shop and go find some form. I wait for a bit till I can put my boots back on before I go. So now I'm walking about with these big red tags flopping around on my boots. Well at this point I'm fairly sure they're screwing with me cause I've been to three other shops and keep getting bounced around. Finally someone tells me they're messing with me(he was also new and it had recently happened to him), so I took the tags off and walked back to my shop. | walked around with big red tags on my boots for a couple hours looking like an ass to the whole hangar. |
t3_1h2zcz | relationships | I [20F] need to break up with my boyfriend [23M] of 5 months, but I'm very inexperienced with this and I don't want to hurt him. I already tried to end it but it didn't work. | I have been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for about 5 months, and he's madly in love with me. The thing is, he wants to be with me forever and get married, etc. but I think I'm too immature to handle a relationship with him right now, and I don't see myself staying with him for the rest of my life. I want to end it now, because the longer I wait, the harder it will be to break up.
However, I am a very weak person. I really don't want to hurt him, and I've tried to break the news to him gently, but I've never been able to do it because I know it will hurt him a lot. He says I'm the first person who has ever really made him feel loved. We've been through a lot together (such as tough times with family problems), and we lost our virginity to each other.
I've always heard it's best to break up with someone face-to-face and give them reasons why, not just leave them hanging, so that's what I tried to do. I almost broke up with him, but I started crying while telling him I wanted to break up. He started crying too, and he told me, "you're upset and obviously stressed out, don't say anything you might not mean." I ended up not being able to end it, but I feel horrible now because he thinks everything's okay, and I don't know what to do.
I don't think I'm strong enough to be able to break up with him face-to-face, because I do still love him, but I know I need to get out of this. If I try to break up with him, he'll just do the same thing again that he did this time, saying that he needs me, he never thought he'd find someone like me, etc. I just don't know what to do or how to go about breaking up with him. | I can't break up with my boyfriend face-to-face because he will be very upset and try to convince me not to, how do I do this? |
t3_2obrrv | relationships | I[22F] think my boyfriend[24M] should break up with me because I am a bad partner. | We have been dating for 2 years. We don't ever have crazy fights but lately we haven't been getting along 100%.
When we first started dating, I was super care-free, super trusting, fun, not naggy, all that good stuff that people want in a SO. Over time, I've caught myself becoming the exact opposite. I think it's because I didn't expect anything before-- being happily single for 4 years and not looking for a relationship. Now, I'm sometimes insecure, selfish, and demand much much more attention from him(I'm very surprised by this because I consider myself very independent and introverted, and have never really desired attention from anyone). I don't like the person I have become, and I don't know why I am currently this person.
Anyways, the big issue is that these newly developed characteristics make me a bad girlfriend. I am resentful, hold grudges, make big deals out of things that shouldn't be even small deals, etc. I alwaaaaays realize my mistake after, and apologize, but I don't think that's healthy. And he just deals with it and says it's okay, and in a few days we're back to normal. Until it happens again.
At this point, I feel like I have made so many mistakes, and disappointed him so many times that we both should just start over. For example, today I was upset because he wasn't giving me enough attention(even though I know that he's busy with work stuff). He messaged me in the middle of the day saying that something bad happened to his friend, and he wasn't sure if she was going to be okay. I tried talking to him but he was busy. So by the evening, I was mad again that we didn't talk at all. When he called me, I should have consoled him, but I selfishly made it about me and was too irritated at him to even have a conversation. I guess I feel guilty and want a clean slate.
I don't know if anyone has read Gone Girl, but I feel like I relate to Amy in that she has a huge problem with people finding out she's not perfect. | How do I stop feeling like I am not good enough for my boyfriend, and instead focus on being the best girlfriend I can be? |
t3_376cia | tifu | TIFU by having a conversation at a Chinese buffet | So some of my friends and I decided to go out and eat, and we chose a local Chinese buffet that I like to go to. As we ate we were talking about various things, and for some reason the topic of my back pain came up. I have been feeling a pretty strong pain in my lower back all day, and we were discussing various causes and possible solutions. One of my friends suggested I go get a massage, and I responded, somewhat loudly,
"Yeah, I've been looking for a massage parlor like that around here."
As soon as I said that, I noticed the Chinese waitress standing next to me. She looked me straight in the eyes, and gave me the most hateful look I have ever received in my life. She then looked away and left.
I don't know why I decided to say that phrase in that exact way. All I know is that, that waitress thinks I am a horrible person, and I can never go back to that Chinese buffet again. It's really unfortunate, because I really liked their food. | I had lower back pain, my waitress didn't understand |
t3_2pap73 | relationships | How can I be more tender and affectionate to a friend I have feelings for? | This girl (19) and I (M 19) have been good friends for about three years now. During that time, I have tried to make it clear that I have feelings but I had anxiety around her when I wanted to try flirting. I wouldn't talk to her or interact with her much and I understand that she can't read my mind, so I never seemed interested in the first place. There has been a past of me making abrupt moves on her that all ended in with her avoiding me and telling me she doesn't want the friendship to deteriorate because of the tension.
Now her and I are better friends (don't worry, I have not been suffering. The friendship alone makes me very happy). I am more confident around her but I still strongly show my reserved attitude. It has been a while since anything about my feelings for her have come up so now I am not sure how to approach it. We engage in the usual friendly banter, but I think I come off as too physically aggressive and verbally insincere for her to consider my feelings.
She knows I may still have feelings and our friendship is the best it has ever been right now, but I want to see if I can advance that and possibly have one of my best friends as a girlfriend. She is not currently looking for a boyfriend, but I want to make an attempt to prepare for the future because I think this girl is would be worth it.
I want to know some ways (both physical and verbal) I can practice being more loving and assertive without being too obviously flirty. | Friend may know I still have feelings for her after three years, we are very good friends. I am reserved and don't know how to flirt. How can I physically and verbally subtly flirt without making things awkward? |
t3_4cjusf | tifu | TIFU by swinging my buns as I walked down the driveway. | Happened about half an hour ago.
Partner needed to go into town today after mother finished work at the bakery.
We have an abundance of animals small and large on the property so we have to keep the gate shut. It would be easier to walk up the driveway and meet her there rather then for her open the gate, shut the gate and then drive down only to to do again when leaving.
Anyway,
I walk him up today (I don't usually), and she has some cold items, alongside a bag of fresh bakery buns that I should take back to the house with me to put away.
We had recently acquired these two young-ish cows and they had quickly become accustomed to bags of old bakery bread being waved (crinkling of plastic) so as to summon them to their shed for dinner and then bed.
Everything is good until I reach about half-way down. I had been swinging the bag of buns in a haphazard matter, not thinking about the consequences. The beasts decided to charge at me full throttle in eager anticipation however, these buns weren't for their consumption.
Stupidly, I decided to toss the bag aside to divert their attention away from me. They would have run me down and squashed me otherwise.
The sudden movement scared the fuck out both of them and the bigger male squared up ready to squish me like a pancake.
Luckily, I had the brains to dodge and run like mad. All while the new neighbors witnessed me screaming bloody murder. Wonderful. | TIFU by walking my partner up to the top of the driveway because buns and cows don't mix. |
t3_d3yv2 | AskReddit | People tell me I remind them of/act like Micheal Cera. Is this good or bad? | I have never seen any of his movies so I have no frame of reference on how he acts other than snarky comments about him on reddit.
99% of the people who have told me how I remind them or act like Michael Cera have been girls. The other 1% was a random stranger who overheard me having a conversation with a girl and stepped in to tell me how I reminded him of Michael Cera. The girl I was having the conversation with had also told me this on a separate unrelated occasion.
Apparently, I act enough like him that some people have told me about him after just meeting me, sometimes after only a minute. Every time they bring up a different movie too such as Juno, Superbad, Year one, ect.
Now I'm generally pretty funny and people usually tell me about my likeness to Michael Cera after I've said something humorous and they're laughing. So that's a good sign. When I ask them what about me reminds them of him, they usually tell me it's the my sense of humor and mannerisms.
So is Michael Cera actually funny? He's never struck me as a funny character or someone who I'd want to imitate. Should I take this as a compliment? More specifically, what kind of things could I be doing that reminds people so much of Michael Cera?
On a side note, I'm thinking of maybe capitalizing on my semblance to Michael Cera by offering my own escort service on craigslist called "The Michael Cera experience", for women who want to live out their Michael Cera related fantasies. As part of this service, I would awkwardly woo the client over the course of 1-2 weeks before finally having sex with them. | People say I remind them of Michael Cera with my sense of humor WTF |
t3_4baq89 | tifu | Tifu by dropping my phone on my dick | I had testicular torsion yesterday and it was the second worst pain I have ever experienced in my life. At the time nothing compared to it. I had surgery and the doctor advised against any physical activity. I was basically forced to be on the couch, at my pc, or in bed all day long. Well I got up to grab pizza that I ordered and as I sat back down, I dropped my phone onto my already sore, recently sewn up, and pinned to scrotum, testicles. I managed to set a new personal record in pain. It felt like I got kicked in the balls by mother fucking Chuck Norris. I am normally very tolerant to pain but I actually started crying. It lasted for about a half hour but I took some pain medication and am feeling better now. I also have a very firm grip on my phone as I type this. | dropped phone on recently operated on testicles. |
t3_2xv04j | relationships | I'm 17M and my secret friend w/ benefits (17M) of two years ignores all attempts to contact him. | Every time after we get together, for about a month he ignores my texts, phone calls and Facebook messages. Then out of no where he will text me asking to get together and he always has some excuse for why he didn't reply.
What confuses me is that it's not like I wanted a serious relationship and he is using me. I never asked for a serious relationship with him, but one day while we were having sex he tell's me he loves me. Another time I asked him If he really felt that way and he tells me he want's to be my boyfriend. The next day he goes right back to ignoring me.
No one but us know about our relationship. Our parents don't even think we still talk to each other and nobody even knows we're gay. I have no one to turn to.
All I want to know is why he would ignore my texts like that when all I'm asking for is sex. | My fuck buddy wont return my texts and I can't figure out why. |
t3_312ny4 | dogs | Thinking about adopting a 3-4 year-old boxer/terrier/pitbull mix from local shelter. | Hi everyone. Two years ago my boyfriend and I bought an 8-week old black lab. He's the best. Our current situation is great -- I work from home and we own a house with a nice yard. We are not familiar with the adoption process or shelters but we have visited a dog that we are in love with. We have a meet-and-greet scheduled for tomorrow so the two dogs can meet.
The shelter isn't totally confident in the dog's history. She has submissive urination and has been on anti-anxiety medication for about 5 months now. She had a bad flea infestation when she arrived but other than that they don't know too much about her. We know she will need training, she doesn't recognize her name or know basic commands.
I have never done this before -- can anyone give us tips/advice on adopting, getting a second dog or anything to calm my nerves? I can't pinpoint why I'm nervous but maybe someone can relate? | I've never adopted a dog before and I'm looking for some advice/experiences/tips |
t3_2v1ere | relationships | Me [29 M] going on my second date [28 F] and I have a pretty big bomb I'm not sure how to drop | So I just started dating near the end of last summer because I'm a loser. It was rough going at first but recently I've been finding more confidence and having some minor successes here and there.
Something that I haven't been able to figure out is when to bring up my living situation. The situation is this: my father was diagnosed with advanced dementia. The doctors recommended that he not live alone so I immediately moved in with him. I am going to continue to live with him until the point that he needs full-time care, which I will not be able to provide on my own. As you can imagine, this makes dating kind of awkward.
The most recent date I went on was awesome. She's cute, smart, and her level of sarcasm is equal to or maybe even greater than mine so I think she's hilarious. We have another date planned already and I don't know how to drop the bomb. If things go well again I will want to invite her back to my house, but how do I bring up the dad thing? I'm torn. On the one hand it doesn't define who I am as a person or my outlook on life so I don't want to mention it. On the other hand I do want to say something because I don't want there to be any awkward surprises.
And if I do mention it do I say why? I don't want her to have to wonder why I'm 29 and still live with my dad, but saying that at no point in the immediate future will I be able to live on my own is a pretty major bomb to drop on someone. | I don't know how to bring up that I live with my father and will continue to live with him for the next several years. |
t3_29ny6x | relationships | The long distance struggle, only much worse. | Well hey.
I hope i can confide in you LDR veterans and get some help or opinions from everybody else that's willing to lend an ear.
So, obviously I'm in a long distance relationship, I live in Scotland and she is 6000km away in Indiana, USA. I'm 18 and my wonderful girlfriend is 17 we met over the internet and really, really "hit it off" we've known eachother for little over a year and STILL haven't met eachother yet.
Here's where it gets hard.
I'm joining the Royal Marine Commandos and since I've passed all of my interviews, fitness tests and psychometric tests im soon to be going into recruit training. For those that aren't aware, Commando training is the longest recruit training in the world... 8 months.
In that time i will have Saturdays and a small amount of time on Sundays off but aside from that it's unlikely that we will get to talk at all.
I will get Christmas off though which we agreed to organise me flying out and us meeting for the first time. I think this is one thing which is giving us hope at this point. We do Love eachother immensely and we are not the kind of people to easily give up.
One thing I've tried discussing is regularly talking on Skype but she always get to nervous and doesn't feel ready to do that because she is fairly insecure about her appearance (for honestly no reason, she is gorgeous) We do talk on the phone, i just think that Skype would be a great tool to really reinforce our bond.
She's and incredibly hard working, intelligent girl and i know she wont give up, i just want to make this easier on both of us.
I guess this is a fairly open topic and I'm just looking to get some opinions and see if anybody can help us out with ideas on how to get through this and stay strong or make it easier and also how i can help get my girlfriend to be used to the idea of Skyping. | My long distance girlfriend who i have not yet met and i are faced with my 8 month long Royal Marine training and I'm afraid we will struggle. |
t3_3foxix | relationships | Me [22 F] with my roommate [22 F] being cold towards me since I started dating | So, a little background; my roommate and I knew each other in high school, and moved in together (along with another girl) a little over a year ago. We've always gotten along well, and we've never really had any issues as far as going along as a household.
About two months ago, at her girlfriend's 23rd birthday, myself and a mutual friend who I have known for a year or so (and who I have liked for ages) got together. We've been officially dating since that night. Everyone knew it was going to happen, and that it was just a matter of time etc.
He makes me really happy, he's sweet, loving and gentle. I'm his first girlfriend and he's the first guy I have dated who isn't a giant dick/abusive (I have a bad track record with abusive relationships). We're not overly attached or clingy, and we do spend time apart to do uni work/alone time (we're both quite introverted). I like to think I make him happy too.
Ever since he and I started dating, my roommate's been acting weird. She's been cold on and off, won't speak to me (sometimes for days) and actively leaves the room when I enter it. If I try to talk to her and my other flatmate, she'll go all quiet/cold. I know she can be passive-aggressive, but this feels like something else? I dunno. I'm at a loss. I know she's stressed from uni, and that might be it, but I also feel like before my bf and I got together, she was happy to talk to me about uni work/life in general. Now it's nothing.
I'm conflict-avoidant, so I don't know how to ask whether she's mad at me over the relationship being a thing. Surely she understands that this guy and I are adults and can make our own decisions? Surely she wants us both to be happy? | Roommate being weird and cold about bf and I. What do? |
t3_417zsc | relationships | Should I (26yo Male) stop seeing my backpacker tinder date (28yo F) of 3 months that I am getting too attached to? | Briefly start of the story was a big relationship (a little over 2 years, 8 months long distance). I moved over seas for a job and since we loved each other so much we couldn't break up. I started having feelings twords another girl here at work after 6 months and thought it's only fair that I break up. Anyway, the girl I had feelings for didn't felt the same way and nothing happened. So i put myself out there in tinder.
My (26 years ol Male) first date ever on tinder turned out to be a really nice person (28 years old Female) and we have been together since the first date. We have been dating pretty often, she stayed over a lot and we even went traveling to a road trip twice for 3 days. She is meant to leave the country for traveling for a year after another 3 months. And I didn't feel anything special in the beginning but it was a casual date. Just today when she said she wasn't into me as much as she was in the begining and that hurt me really bad. I thought i was thinking this to be casual and I really didn't care much. I wasn't anticipating this much of feelings. I miss her very much.
Now my question is should I stop seeing her altogether to avoid hurting more, or should i make an transation where we see each other less often and she can see other people? | Meet a girl on tinder, hit it off. She is leaving in 3 months and not that much into me anymore. Should i keep seeing her or dump her? |
t3_2kuhr6 | relationships | I[17M] have been hanging out with [16F] for a few months now, but we aren't in a relationship, and I have no clue where this is going. | I'm using a throwaway account due to the fact that many of my friends know my Reddit account.
I have been going to a Boarding School since April or so, and it's definitely a big change from my past life. Everything is much more... calm. No public school drama. It's nice.
A few months ago, a girl [F16] came here from a similar situation I was in. Each of us weren't doing too well back home and needed a change. At the time, I was still stressed out from having to throw away my entire past life and start over. This included my Ex, [F17] who I haven't talked to since I left. I promised myself that I wouldn't keep myself in the past. The new girl, who by the way is the one in the title, has really helped me through the entire process and vice versa.
We've become best friends, and I spend more time with her besides my roommate.
We make plans every weekend to do things, like going out to a movie or going to a baseball game. It's never a date, we just go as friends.
It's all good and well, but we always get asked if we're dating by other kids. *As I'm typing this, I've gotten a text from a friend ASKING ABOUT THIS EXACT TOPIC* It's not that I've had enough, but its getting on my nerves.
The thing is... I wouldn't mind getting into a relationship with her. She's good looking and we're pretty comfortable with each other. But I'm trying to drill it into my head that we're just friends. We've talked about going to each other's weddings, and visiting each other in college.
Where do I take this? What do I do? I'm not madly in love, but I do see this as a good long term relationship opportunity. | Me and a girl are recent boarders at a private school and we've been hitting it off as friends. I don't want to make any moves, but I can't help but think. Where do I take this? |
t3_1ip206 | relationships | I (26f) found incriminating texts on my bf (30m) phone. What to do? | Hi,
I am a grad student and my bf is an engineering undergrad(he worked in his twenties to support his family before going to school).
I have been with my bf for 2 years on and off. We had a tumultous relationship in the beginning. I was jealous, clingy and a little crazy and would make him angry. I would push him for marriage and greater commitment and that would lead to fights. We broke up for 5 months from Sept 2012 to dec 2012 because he wasn't sure if we were going to get married after he graduates. I dated someone else for some time in that time but I still loved him.
Anyways in Jan 2013 we got back together, I cleaned up my act, got a life of my own, eliminating the crazy and things have been great the past 7 months.
I borrowed his phone to make a phone call yesterday and the screen was his message to his friend.
Adrian(my bf) : hey man, I am sorry I have not been able to hang out that much. I have no money
mike: no worries man. Its all good. As long as you are happy with your life
Adrian: I miss our dynamic when Dan(another friend) was here. If I would have known,I wouldnt have committed to Lisa(me).
Mike:Be happy with your life and be happy with Lisa
Well he graduated college in may. He doesnt have a job yet and is somewhat depressed about it but our relationship was been great. He is very sweet to me and is a good bf. He says he loves me and I am the one. When he gets drunk he jokes about asking my dad for my hand in marriage, putting a ring on it and so on.
So, I was very surprised and hurt when I saw his message to his friend. I didn't say anything to him then. But I am wondering if I should break up with him or not? | Bf tells guy friends that he misses their time together and if he would have known he wouldn't have committed to me. What to do? |
t3_1ojndk | relationships | Me [28 F] with my BF [30 M] of 1 year, I'm jealous of my BF's and his best (girl) friend's relationship. Considering the circumstance this make me a terrible person. | I feel terrible about this because I know I shouldn't feel this way. A little background: He and his best friend, call her M, have known eachother since they were 12. They're super close. I love her; she's amazing. She doesn't compete with me in any way and is super supportive of me and my BF's relationship. We all knew eachother in highschool and since I've started dating my BF we've all become closer.
Recently, her brother (also my BF's close friend) died in a car crash. We're all devastated but my BF and M more than anyone. Since her brother died my BF has been staying at her family's house with her helping them through it and taking care of things. I've barely spoken to him.
I know this is completely irrational: I feel a twinge of jealously because I feel like my BF and I will never be as close as he is with M. I want to be there for him during what he's said is the hardest thing he's ever been through but he seems to be pushing me away. I know this is because of the situation. No one knows what he's going through better than M and vise versa...I just can't help but feel like I wish I were the one that could comfort him.
I'm not sure there is any advice to give here..other than, how can I stop being such a selfish person and crappy girlfriend? I feel awful about this.. | I'm jealous of the bond between my BF and his (girl) best friend, especially because I can't comfort him now while he's grieving for his close friend and her brother. I'm a terrible person. |
t3_27up1m | relationships | I [24F] am going out with someone [21M] that is moving away, and I am starting to get attached. | So I am in a poly relationship with my live-in boyfriend. We just opened our relationship and I have been going out with another guy.
It was originally just for fun, but now I am starting to develop feelings and am becoming more attached to new guy than boyfriend.
Problem is that new guy is going to a different college in 2 months, and will live 2 hours away.
I don't know if I want to attempt to continue dating him after he moves and just see each other on weekends, or if we should just cut things off.
We have already decided to keep dating for the next couple months. I'm secretly hoping that I get bored after that, but the way things are going I'm worried I might get even more interested. Advice? | Going out with new guy, X. In poly relationship with guy Y. Starting to have more feelings for X than Y, but he is moving 2 hours away in 2 months. Might be too far away to keep dating, but don't want to stop. |
t3_2p5k5o | relationships | [23M] in a loving, two-year relationship with my [23F]. I may have accidentally asked another girl out. | So I've been with Girl A for a couple of years now. There have been ups and downs like any couple, but we work. Despite the problems we're working on, they're secondary, and don't invalidate our relationship.
HOWEVER I think I may have accidentally asked another girl out. I really like this second girl, who I only met once, briefly, two years ago. An intoxicated message on Facebook in the early hours led to us agreeing to meet up for a drink. I want to do this. I want this second girl to be in my life as a friend. She's both cool and intelligent, and different enough to my usual friends that it's refreshing. As we always hang out as a group, or just me and my girlfriend, I want to have a friend who's just mine.
I don't know if she thinks this is a date. Maybe it's pretty cocky to assume that she'd accept a drunken 4 AM Facebook date invitation ffrom me. Still, I want to hang out with her, but be sure that there are no misunderstandings. I could use some advice for finding out whether she's interested as a friend or just 'interested'. Since I want to befriend her, I don't want to be a boring tool and play hard to get, or play any silly mind games. At the same time, I feel like directly asking her if she thought this was a date could go wrong. For one thing, it'd be a slap in the face if she did, and for another, I'd look like an egotistical prat if she didn't.
My current plan is to meet her, hang out as normal and be my normal self, maybe casually drop references to my girlfriend, and then later invite her out with a bunch of my other friends, so it's a less intimate atmosphere. | In a relationship and invited another girl to hang out. I want to befriend her, but what's a good way to find out she didn't think it's a date without being either cruel or a prat? |
t3_16oyss | relationship_advice | I (m/20) can't get her out of my mind... (f/20) any advice? | Last summer, I met this girl through my best friend while just playing some league. I didn't think much of it, she felt like one of the guys. Before I knew it though, we were talking on skype for hours on end, found out we had so much in common (baseball, guitar, games, etc.) and I slowly fell in love with her without realizing it. We both knew we liked each other, but couldn't act on it because I was halfway across the country for school. We set up a weekend to meet over the winter break, she even invited me to visit her family. I was stoked. I get to her place, and the first day is amazing. Then, she wakes up the next day, looks at me with this strange expression and simply says, "You're not right for me", and gets up and simply walks out of the room. It's been about two weeks and I still can't even find the pieces to my heart. I know I can't get her back, I just don't know how to get over that fact. Any advice reddit? | Relationship develops over a distance, we meet, first night's great, then out of the blue tells me we're through. Help? |
t3_41iq49 | relationships | I [21F] regret breaking up with my bf[21M], although we broke up for good reasons | So I broke up with my bf (lets call him Jeff), of over 3 years, about a month ago for sound logical reasons. He wants kids one day and I don't, he wants to live in the country when we are older and I want to live in a city, as well as a couple ideological differences that I thought could cause problems later on. As well as a growing lack of shared interests. He was also my first long term relationship if that helps for context.
I feel like I made a logical choice to break up so we can find people we are more compatible with, but it is killing me.
I miss him more than I ever thought I could. I had panic attacks the first night and I still cry whenever I think about him.
I want to get back together with him so badly, but none of the reasons we broke up have changed, and I feel like they would just loom over us until we break up again over them, and I don't want to do that to him.
I have tried to move on a bit, but talking to guys just doesn't really interest me how I thought it would. I even noticed that when I first went on tinder I was just swiping yes to guys that looked like Jeff.
I just don't know what to do, my heart wants him back but my head is telling me that it wont work out and will just hurt both of us again. But I don't know how to be without him, we lived together for over a year and every time I wake up alone or come home to an empty home it kills me. | Broke up for good reasons, hating it. |
t3_4z4wt9 | relationships | I hate my parents and I don't know how to fix our relationship | (20 m) Idk what to say. I've never really had a relationship with my father (71m). I've never felt like he's cared about me. He doesn't hate me, but im not sure if he loves or even likes me. We're very different people. No similar interests and everything down to our sense of humor is different. Mother (55f) is a complete psycho. She can go from perfect loving typical mother to an absolute wreck in a blink. Once she told me she tried to off herself because me and my sister are shitty kids. I was about 12 and its been 8 years but I've never really gotten over that. I've been a shitty son I can admit but I've never fucked up too bad. I don't have much of a relationship with these people and they always make me feel guilty for it, but I don't really know if I even want one. Just because they gave birth to me do I owe them something? I feel so alone in the world I have friends but I never really had a family. I really have trouble keeping a relationship going and I'm sure it stems from my parental issues. I moved out at 18 and spent a year away from them and was very happy. Due to misfortune and no other options I had to move back a few months ago and I'm more miserable then ever. Do I just be nice to them until they die? Do I just cut them out of my life? I would really appreciate some insight. | parents are dicks, I'm a dick, do I keep our shitty relationship going or just stay away? |
t3_k6pvt | AskReddit | What should a socially awkward artist friend do with his life/career? | I have this friend who is by far the most amazing artist I have ever met. He does photography, drawing, painting, 3-D modeling, and more, and the thought process behind his work, like the actual meaning of each piece (if you are lucky enough to get him to explain it to you), is genius. He builds his own cameras with stuff he finds in dumpsters, and is generally super creative with a very distinct style that he has been perfecting for a while now. [See a small sampling of his work here]
However, he is definitely socially awkward. He has difficulty with eye contact, volume of his voice, he is a a total shut-in, scared to leave his room, stuff like that. I asked him if I could post about him, and he said: "what would you post about? about how i make everyone feel uncomfortable in person and am scared to leave the house/have fun or about how im happy being child for the restof my life?" So it's not like he is unaware of his predicament, but I think it might just not be possible for him to overcome it in any conventional way.
After a struggle finding work after graduating from RISD a few years ago, he is currently in grad school doing computer animation stuff at the National Center for Computer Animation at Bournemouth University (ma3d animation). He is sooo talented, and it is so frustrating to know that someone who is so awesome and has so much skill to offer the world is getting the shaft just because he comes off as a creep during an interview.
Redditors, there must be some successful shut-in computer geeks (and I say that in the most adoring, respectful way) out there that have some advice for a fellow weirdo-genius. I keep telling him to try to make connections in the fields that interest him (3-d animation and video game design), email people, do anything to get his name out there, and I know he tries. I also know getting a job these days is hard for EVERYONE, but this guy has it extra tough. | How does a highly skilled but socially awkward person go about getting a job in game design or something similar to that? |
t3_3jmxoi | relationships | Found out through Facebook that my girlfriend [24/F] of 2 years is about to break up with me [25/M] right before I fly to see her | Just looking for some advice on this really.
My girlfriend is currently back home in the US while I am still in the UK, I was all set to go visit her at the end of this month but something has happened this morning. I know her passwords for everything she uses, she knows this but she doesn't know I have been logging in to her Facebook for the past couple of weeks after I became suspicious when she started being stand-offish. Now I know this is completely wrong and I'm in some ways as bad as her but once I saw the first message I couldn't stop.
About a month ago her ex boyfriend broke up with his long time girlfriend and since then he has been messaging my girlfriend and they have both been exchanging messages such as "I miss us" and a few photos have been sent from her end, down top photos while she is wearing a shirt/bra. This morning I logged in and got to read a lovely conversation about how they missed each other so much and how what they had she could never establish with myself.
This has come as a complete surprise, we were better than ever before she went home in July so I'm a mixture of confused and angry at the moment. I spent £1000 on a flight to go and see at the end of this month which is not the main issue, that's just money. My main issue is I don't know what the best way to bring this is all up to her is, I'm guessing her plan is for me to go there for the 3 weeks and then when we travel back together she is going to go to his for the weekend when pretending to visit her best friend (as she has said in her messages) but I know now that I can't play along with it until I can confront her face to face.
Any advice would be appreciated on the best/amicable way to end this all.
The worst thing is her family are the nicest people I've ever met so it feels like I'm about to lose a lot right now.
Also, fuck you Facebook. | Girlfriend planning to leave me for her ex which I found out through Facebook |
t3_3eeadn | relationships | I (21m) am having doubts about my relationship with my (21f) girlfriend who has a child | I have been dating my girlfriend for about a year now and when I started dating her she was pregnant (Not my child. Long story short the father is not in the picture what so ever) Her child now is 9 months old
The reasons I am having doubts is because of the child and how this will effect my future for me. I enjoy spending time with her and we get along extremely well and this is why I'm having a hard time deciding if I should stay or go.
She doesn't want me to take on any type of father role and when we hangout I never do. I spend time with her and she takes care of her child. That's how she would ideally like it to be.
Now of course further into the future this arrangement would not hold up and I would end up being a father to her child. This is what I'm scared about. Right now it seems fine because I don't do any parenting related things but later it's bound to happen and I don't know how I will be able to handle it. I also don't want to perhaps have financial difficulties later on because of this.
I'm heartbroken thinking I might have to end it because I don't want to stop spending time with her but I also don't think I can handle it right now. I feel like I might be making a mistake because I will miss her but maybe it's for the best?
Any opinions on this matter would be greatly appreciated | Thinking about leaving a girl I think is amazing because she has a child that's not mine and I'm too young |
t3_293mqs | relationships | I [20f] will be going back home to my parents [65m & 53F] for 2 months. They're still living together but are in the process of getting a divorce. Any advice? | Before I came away to university things between my parents were awkward and I could see that they were probably going to get divorced. And earlier this year they announced that the are getting a divorce.
I finished university nearly a month ago but chose to stay away from home as much as possible. So I'm in my student house until the end of next week when my tenancy agreement runs out.
I was only home alone with them for a couple of days at Christmas (before the divorce was announced) and they were fighting for my attention. And it was just awful when they were both together.
I have siblings but they don't live at home. Plus theyre my dads children from a previous marriage. So this divorce doesn't effect them much at all. I'm staying with my sister for a week in a months time. Its the only thing I've got to look forward too.
I don't have a job to go to. There aren't many jobs as it's a rural area. Which also means there's not much for me to go off and do. I don't have many friends in that town either.
Also, they both only work part-time so will both potentially be at home a lot.
Any advice? | Parents are getting divorced but are still living together. How do I cope? |
t3_11rahj | AskReddit | Reddit, help! My license got unjustly suspended, what can I do? | This is long, but I desperately need help reddit. For reference I live in Indiana.
Over the summer I received a speeding ticket and a moving violation for going the wrong way on a one way. The speeding ticket I paid, because I was in fact speeding, but the other violation I have been fighting because it was complete bullshit (it's a long story). So back in July after I had gotten these tickets I receive a letter from the BMV telling me that I need to take an online safety class that costs $55 dollars or my license will be suspended on October 15th. I call the BMV and tell them that I am fighting one of the tickets and they say not to worry about it, it only goes against me if I am found guilty. So I continue. Fastforward to yesterday. I finally have my court date, which I lose, and I come home to a letter from the BMV saying my license is suspended. I freak out. I call the BMV and the guy says if I take the online course that night it will be processed and my license will be reinstated by today. So I call this morning and I am told that I have to wait 7-10 business days for them to process the certificate and that there is nothing I can do about it. I should not have had my license suspended, because I was literally just proven guilty of the second violation yesterday morning and the rule is if you receive 2 point-able violations in 12 months you have to take this course. Please help me reddit, who can I call? What can I do? | got my license suspended unjustly. BMV says it will take 7-10 days to process my reinstatement, I absolutely need to drive, what can I do? |
t3_4fiq15 | relationships | I (16M) miss my ex (16F) | It was a LDR, lasted nine months and we were super in love. I was (am?) convinced that if soulmates are a thing, she's mine. We met once and I broke up afterwards believing it to be better for both of us to have someone close.
My current girlfriend is cute too and I do love her, don't get me wrong. But at times I just feel like she's wrong for me. I'm an underachieving "gifted" (how do I say that without bragging?) boy and she's not the smartest and had constant anxiety and panic attacks about school stuff. It's been half a year and she still hasn't introduced me to her parents or taken me home, she says she's ashamed. | Comparing current gf to LDR ex |
t3_ok318 | AskReddit | How can I convince a good friend and roommate to eat healthy? | My friend and roommate, X, eats pretty damn poorly, enough so that it isn't good for his health. He also reads reddit but I doubt he'd click on this because it involves eating healthy.
So, X, 25m, eats a handful of things. Pizza, burgers, sugary cereal, soda, steak, fries, milkshakes, milk, ice cream, and peanut butter and jelly on white bread... That is all. Not a single vegetable or fruit. (I know, pizza is a vegetable.) Additionally, the more processed and packed with sugar and preservatives, the more he likes the food.
He wants to lose weight, and he claims that eating protein will make more muscle which will make him burn more calories... -_____-
He does have OCD that manifests in a number of things, his diet clearly one of them. I've known him for years, and tried countless times to get him to just eat something as simple as stir fry, or pasta with some veggies in it, but he won't have any of it.
He's tried a few health tricks, like ditching soda, but that only last a month or two. Seriously, that is all he's eaten all his life.
Any ideas or success stories with getting an adult male with OCD to eat healthier? | Roommate has harmful diet, how can I get him to eat healthier? |
t3_48m1r1 | relationships | Me [23/F] in an emotional rollercoaster with an undecisive [21/M]. | Two years ago, I met a boy at a friend's party. He was already into me and flirted with me, that's how we made out on our first meeting.
Last summer, we've been in contact again through social medias. We started to play an online game together which led us to become really close. We met again and slept together.
After this event, I confessed my feelings. He admitted he had feelings for me too, but wasn't willing to date me at the time because he was just leaving an obnoxious relationship and needed to recollect.
For a few months, we just took rapid news from each other. At some point, he published a picture where he was holding another girl, his new gf. I was heartbroken and told him that I felt used after he led me on like he did. We argued because of this, and I cut contact.
Two months ago, he sent me a message telling me that he was sad about my decision because I was more than just someone in his circle, a person dear to him. I forgave him.
So far, we're back spending countless time together. We play video games almost everyday with vocal chat, as soon as he's free until he goes to bed. We laugh all the time and tell each other about our lives.
However, while he never speaks about her and I don't know about the state of their relationship, I'm fairly sure he's still with her.
I am confused and in pain. I have intense feelings for this guy. We have a strong bond and I know I am special to him, that's why I didn't expect him to move on and be able to compartementalize our relationship like this. I don't know if he's confused as well or not. I don't know how to deal with all this. | I'm in love with a close friend of mine with whom I used to be more than friends. He doesn't want to let me go despite dating another girl and spends most of his time with me. Regardless, he's seemingly still with her and I don't know what to do. |
t3_4vz28a | legaladvice | [IN] Ex-girlfriend left various items at my apartment, mom won't reply to texts to retrieve them, want to donate them to Goodwill | Indiana.
Simple question. The items that the ex left were fairly small, nothing too fancy - just some plushies, some misc clothing and a necklace that supposedly means so much to her family but ex's mom won't reply to my texts about getting the items back. The box is sitting in my car right now and I want it out.
If I surrender the items to Goodwill (let's also say I don't use my Goodwill card to maintain anonymity) then am I under any potential legal consequence? Or should I just make the hour round trip to return the box of items that her mom refuses to communicate with me about? | ex girlfriend left crap at my house and mom won't communicate with me about returning it and want to just donate to Goodwill. Some little kid will enjoy a cheap pillow pet. |
t3_2fwilu | tifu | TIFU by telling two of my best friends something that happened when I was a kid | So I've always had very shaky hands and get very anxious very easily. People always ask but I don't talk about the story much because it tends to change how people think of me.
Today, I decided to tell two of my best friends for a number of years (both girls if it matters) about the incident. The story is basically that I had a group of 'friends' who would put me in a corner and beat the shit put of me. This messed me up socially in a couple of ways with dealing with people and making friends since I was pretty young at the time (about 10-12, it's been several years now) and didn't go to anyone for help because I didn't even understand what was really happening.
Now they're both being really awkward and whispering to each other whenever I don't pay complete attention, which is really unusual. I think either I was right about it changing people's minds or I'm just suddenly paranoid because of telling the story, but either way I'm pretty sure talking about it was a mistake. | Told two friends I was bullied when I was young, now they're acting really weird |
t3_3aljwp | relationships | Me [17 M] with my ex [18 F] of 2 months, broke up with me on false pretenses and got a new boyfriend | So we have been dating for 2 months, and I've never had stronger feelings for a girl than I had for her, and according to what her mom told mine, this girl never had stronger feelings for a guy before. We were in a long distance relationship, but ssw each other for around 3-4 days every 2-3 weeks. A week and a day ago, she ended the relationship because she was working far too much (supposedly 8 am to 10 pm every day) in hopes to make the rest of the money she needed for college, and she has trust issues (which I knew about) and that not being able to talk to me made her worried about what I was doing all of the time and it was affecting her stress. She said she still loved me, and wanted to start our relationship up again when I got to Alabama (Early August). I was immediately worried (and rightfully so) so I started pestering her about other guys. To which she responded that "If I don't have time for the person I love, how will I have time for other guys". I spent the next week texting her good morning and goodnight, as well as updating her on my life. She responded once, and we had a pretty boring conversation because she didn't seem interested to begin with, she also told me she had the next day off. I wrote off the lack of interest as being tired, and the next day I tried to talk to her and no response. I text her best friend that I was worried something was up and she tells me that this girl just got a new boyfriend.
Kind of posted this just to vent, I was lied to about why we were breaking up, and she didn't even have the balls to tell me she found someone else. I was planning on spending this summer practically by myself (because I respected her enough to not just jump at any girl even though I'm technically allowed to) only to have come to Alabama for her to tell me she moved on. What a vile person. | Lied to about why we were breaking up, which setup false hopes for the future, made me look stupid for a week, and then learned through a friend that this girl has a new boyfriend. What the fuck. |
t3_4zw2rr | relationships | My [22F] boyfriend [30M] and I cope very differently | 3 weeks ago we found out I was miscarrying my pregnancy. We are both very devastated. We have been together for a little more than 2 years and are extremely happy together. Our relationship is great, and while not flawless there are no major problems in it.
This miscarriage has brought a lot of grief for both of us, and we grieve very differently. While I want to stay home and mope around and eat comfort food constantly, he'd rather go places and keep himself busy constantly with hobbies and friends. I would usually have no problem with him being gone so much, we have our own hobbies separate from each other and have no problems with the other doing our own thing.
I've hardly left the house for 3 weeks. The only times I've left are for food (with him - if he's not here I just eat whatever I can find around the house or don't eat), work, and doctors appointments. I'm aware that this isn't probably the best way to cope but it's what's easiest for me. BUT, I hate being alone right now. It brings horrible negative thoughts for me that scare me a lot. If he's home I'm not magically better but I don't feel nearly as depressed as when I'm alone.
I've talked to him briefly about my feelings but I won't tell him he HAS to stay home. I want him to cope in whatever way he needs to. I'm seeing my doctor on Monday regarding what I believe is depression. But I don't know what to do beyond that. | My boyfriend and I are grieving the loss of a pregnancy. He grieves by going out (not drinking - mostly playing d&d) all the time and I grieve by staying home. But being home alone all the time is worsening my depression. I don't know what to do. |
t3_1ujk1q | relationships | Me [23 M] met a girl [20 F] on holiday: is she into me? | Dear all,
earlier this month I was traveling and I met a really nice and attractive girl. I am not as easily attracted to girls as most men are (which is not to say I am gay, if anyone is wondering), which is why I was sort of surprised at myself that I was. It also means it was kind of special, hence my message here at this forum.
We met earlier, but we started hanging out on the last day I was in town and we really hit it off. We talked for hours about all sorts of things we are both interested in and then she invited me to see her uni. There she introduced me to a lot of her friends and she was kind of flirtatious in many ways (she even told her father on the phone that it was none of his business who she was hanging out with). We had dinner and took a walk afterwards, so everything seemed to be going fine. However, at some moments she also seemed a bit distant, in the sense that she did not reciprocate me breaking the 'touch barrier' and the end she gave me a handshake (although somewhat awkwardly, in my view).
Naturally, we exchanged emails afterwards, but in the emails she seems to be interested still. For example, she finishes the messages with 'hugs' and in the last email even a 'kiss' and she also recently stated that she wants me to send pictures of myself, because she is slowly forgetting what I look like (which to me sounds logical since we hung out only for one day, really).
What do you think? On the one hand, she seems interested, but on the other she is sort of distant. And it is harder to gauge her interest, now that we only communicate through email.
Any thoughts are appreciated!
Thanks alot! | I met a girl on holiday and, because we now only communicate through email, it is hard for me to determine whether she is interested. |
t3_2j37yd | relationships | Me [20 M], my gf [18 F] of 1 year is very upset that I've had more experience. Advice? | We've been dating for a year at this point and my girlfriend has been getting increasingly upset because I was her first for a lot of things (serious relationship, sex, etc.) while I was not a virgin and had been in a relationship that lasted over a year before we started dating. I really want us to stay together, and I don't think that we'd get back together if we took a break so that she could have more experience with other people. I'd really like this relationship to go somewhere, but it won't if she resents me for holding her back from having more experience. What should I do? | girlfriend is upset that I'm more experienced and is thinking about a break |
t3_1uuevm | dating_advice | I [22M] Need help initiating/How to check if she's taken | Hello fellow reddit folks,
I've been browsing/lurking for the past couple days on dating advice + relationship subreddits but have yet to find info in regards to *title*.
I was wondering if you guys can point me in the right direction and help me out.
So basically I've start college, and would like some pointers!
So far what has happened (it's a week into this semester) is that I've been eyeing this one classmate whom I'm attracted to. I've only been in about 2 classes with her this week and would like some pointers to how I can make her notice me more/get her attention. In terms of status, we spoke on a couple occasions and exchanged names and small talk.
Also, is it possible to "Know" if she is taken yet? I wouldn't wanna be creeping up on her if she already has a SO. | New to college, want to get to know this girl more, want some pointers. also want to know if she is taken already (any indicators) |
t3_3pggg1 | dating_advice | I'm getting really gunshy about sitting down and talking to a stranger at lunch | I'm in college and well like any college male student I want a girlfriend. Someone I can share my feelings with, someone I can cuddle with and hold hands. My friends tell me I'm just like Ted Mosby, just feminine enough that they honestly don't know if I'm gay or not sometimes, but that's besides the point.
I asked a few friends how I should go about meeting people, and hopefully cute girls, and they suggested sitting with some random people at meals and just starting a conversation. If they dont like you, they never talk to you again! Sounds nice right? Except for I think too far into this, about how maybe lunch is the best meal because breakfast has tired people and dinner is filled with groups, but then lunch may have people rushing to and from class...
I guess I just want some advice to calm me down, maybe what to say when I first sit down you know? Or if this is even a good idea. Thanks for anyone that replies in advance, it means a lot! | getting cold feet about talking to strangers at lunch, help! |
t3_34fvcq | relationships | Me [20 F] with my flatmate [20 F], she has lack of motivation and increasingly sedentary lifestyle, advice on how to approach this with her? | My flatmate has always had issues with her diet and has never like exercise however recently it is getting to the stage when me and our other flatmates are noticing how severely bad her lifestyle is getting and how it is effecting her. She has put on a lot of weight, binge eats packets upon packets of junk food, eats takeaway far too often and will not exercise.
Generally her lifestyle is very sedentary, she is lazy and her room smells so bad everybody avoids it (retching levels of bad). She has jars of chocolate spread/peanut butter etc empty by her bed which have clearly been eaten with a spoon, moulding yoghurt pots and bags upon bags of rubbish and laundry.
As I said we have become worried about this lifestyle, we are all health conscious people who like to keep fit + eat well with occasional treats, and it's getting to the point where we are scolded every time we eat something healthy in front of her. We want to encourage her to join us in our healthy lifestyles as we believe she would be more sociable and happier and it does seem to be something she wants, she just doesn't want to put the effort in to change.
We don't know how to approach the subject with her, should we propose getting more active as a house, encouraging her to eat more fruit/veg? Cooking meals with her? We don't want to offend her but its getting to the point where its uncomfortable to live with her. | Flatmate has awful lifestyle and is lazy, how can we help? |
t3_1huy3j | relationship_advice | [20/m] My girlfriend of 2 years (19/f) went away for 3 months. She said she didn't miss me and is unsure about our relationship. We're taking a break, could use some advice. | Me and my girlfriend started seeing each other around two years ago in high school. We both finished school around a year ago and we will both start uni after the summer. She just came home after a 3 month stay in a different country to learn English. I visited her after the 3 months and we traveled around a bit before going home. On the trip I already sensed that something was wrong, but we never talked about it.
A week after we came home she tells me that she didn't really miss me when she was away and that she was having serious doubts about our relationship and didn't really love me anymore. I was crushed. I still love her so much! She didn't want to break up , but it's obvious that if here feelings don't change, we don't have a future together.
So we talked about it and decided that we need a break. I'll be leaving for a 5 week trip next week. So we decided that this will be our "break" (We will communicate when I'm gone, but very rarely. Normally we text daily.) She said that she hopes everything will be ok again.
I could really use some advice from people who have been in similar situations. What are some rules that we should set up for the break? What will happen after the break? (Should we just try to go about our relationship as normal and see how it goes) Should I try and do something special for her after the break? Should I get my hopes up? | GF went away for 3 months, said she didn't miss me and doesn't really love me anymore. Now we're taking a break. Need advice on relationship breaks. |
t3_3kwcse | jobs | Contract position applying for internal job postings. | Hello everyone,
As the title suggests, I am currently in a contract position at my current employer. I am actually covering the maternity leave for a supervisor who will return in approx 1 year from the beginning of my employment.
It has been 4 months into my contract and I have been enjoying my work. My manager and colleagues are nice and help me out when I am in a bind. The company is really good to its employees, it is a place that I would like to work for longer than my contracts' deadline.
So here is the question: I pretty much know I will not be hired on once the maternity leave is complete. The division I am working at is very small and unless they literally create a new position (and office as there is no more office space) I am SOL. However, they are expanding and it turns out they are opening an office 30 min closer to my residence than the current office I am working at. Would it be a bad idea for me to apply for the internal positions that are opening at this new office? I tried to apply for one position after the project management director met me and asked me to apply for a project engineering job. I spoke with my manager who advised me that he would be ok with me applying and had a "If I asked you to miss an opportunity like this, what kind of manager would I be" attitude (which is great, he is an amazing manager). So I applied. 2 weeks later I get an email from HR director saying I cannot apply as I am on contract and can only do so once I am out of the contract. This results in a problem as the positions that I want to apply for are internal positions, if my contract is done i no longer have the eligibility to see/ apply for these jobs.
Can I get some advice on how to move forward here? I am pretty much starting to look for jobs now in case there is no hope by the end of my contract. But I really like the company I am working for and feel that this helps me be more productive and enjoy my work more. | 1 year contract replacing maternity leave, new office opens up closer to my house. I apply to job after director requests my resume. HR declines my eligibility to apply to internal jobs until my contract is done. once my contract is done I am no longer "internal" |
t3_x6rgh | AskReddit | What culturally inappropriate or offensive thing have you done without realising until too late? | A friend of mine was doing a trip around the middle east and had just arrived at Dubai airport after a long flight. He was so busting for the bathroom he was in pain. Upon finding a corridor with ladies and men's signs, he headed the direction of the men's. He came to an empty room with an unusual looking, wall length urinal and praised God as he finally relieved himself. After a particularly long pee, he finished up and looked around for a basin to wash his hands. Strangely, he discovered there were none in the room. So he exits this room in search of a washing up area and enters another room. Here he is advised he is not allowed to enter that room with shoes on. He finds this additionally odd. As he leaves that room it finally dawns on him. This is not the bathroom area at all, and the place he had just relieved himself was not a urinal. It was a muslim prayer room and he had just taken a leak in the place where the worshippers wash their feet to cleanse themselves in preparation for prayer! | friend accidentally relieves himself in sacred religeous foot cleansing recepticle |
t3_2sd8l2 | pettyrevenge | My friend works as a parking attendant | My friend works as a parking attendant at the world's smallest shopping center parking lot. The rule is the parking spaces are only for customers of said parking structures. Usually he's laid back about it and if you're respectful and nice he'd be a little lax on the rules and let you return the clothes to target if you'd hurry. Yesterday though, a woman parked her Honda and tries to book it to the cafe across the street, so he calls out and asks her to stop since its customers only but she doesn't even turn around. He gets a bit ticked but follows after her saying hey no really you in the purple vest you can't park here, but again she just keeps her head down and walks faster. Now he knows she heard him cause she was 10 feet in front of him the entire time which is well within ear shot, so she was intentionally ignoring him and intentionally ignoring the rules which is kinda a pet peeve of his. He doesn't like the rule anymore then you but that doesn't mean you can be rude to him, so he gets ticked. Walks back to his station and could just write a simple warning citation on a piece of paper which is easy, but rather chooses the old violation sticker and proceeds to not only place it on her windshield but rubs it on so its almost flush with the glass making it hard to peel off. Flash forward an hour, she comes back to her car and notices the sticker and spends an extra 10 minutes trying to pick it off her windshield all the while my friend is just sitting and watching her struggle. She gives up and backs out so that he can see through her back window allowing him a glimpse of his masterpiece. The sticker was bright orange and rectangular, but the mess that was on her windshield was about the size a little bigger then a half dollar with the sticky residue in the shape of the rectangular sticker. Just watches as she drives off in anger and almost gets into an accident. He says it was the best shift he's ever worked at that position. | Rudest cafe attendant parks in a spot she's not supposed to be in, my friend lets her drive off with sticker gunk all over her windshield. |
t3_3ghu6z | relationships | How do I (21F) tell my BF (20M) he needs to lose the beer belly? | I've (21F) been dating my boyfriend (20M) for almost 9 months. I love him very much, he's quite special and I intend to spend a long time with him etc etc. He is 5'7 and I assume well over 200 lbs. I am 5'6 and 125 lbs. All of his weight is in his belly...and at his age it doesn't seem healthy for him to have such a round, outward beer belly. He has HORRIBLE eating habits and does not exercise. That is what ticks me the most about the situation.
Sometimes I lose physical attraction towards him, like when the belly is pressed up in my back (lol). I know personality is key but physical attraction is definitely important too. I just don't want to see him continue to gain weight, and I think it's a big insecurity of his so I don't know how to mention it. Or should I not mention it at all? | BF has big beer belly/is overweight which he is insecure of but does nothing to fix it. Want to help him get to where he wants to be but don't know how to talk to him about it. |
t3_1mwfp8 | relationship_advice | [27/F]Me and my boyfriend [24/m] having trouble with smoking... | My boyfriend smoked when I first met him--I told him before we started dating that I didn't like it. He started to taper it down, not smoking around me, and then he told me he was going to quit. We counted the days he hadn't smoked until it was almost a full year.
Recently, he's started again--it starts when he's drinking, or when we're at the bar where ALL of his friends smoke.
It REALLY bothers me that he's starting up again... I didn't think that it would be a deal breaker for me, but its starting to feel like it might be. We've been together almost 3 years now.. and part of me feels like its such a petty thing to get mad over at this point-but I can't help but get mad. Especially when we're out with friends and they all go outside to smoke, leaving me, the only non-smoker alone.... and i'm not going to go stand out there with them, because the smoke smells pretty awful.
What can I do? Anyone have any advice??! :( | Boyfriend started smoking again-(after quitting)I get upset. |
t3_3am18b | relationships | Me [32 M] single for 8 years. Maybe I am just not dating material? | So I am 32, male, probably average looking, doing sport, jogging, walking my dog. I have hobbies, ride my bike, ... really not like typical "4chan guy" or "neckbeard" guy (although when It comes to sex experience, we have similarities...). I think for myself I am usually kind and easy to talk to, if little bit introverted. Interested in psychology, astronomy, liberal stances... Its been more than 8 years since last time I've been with someone, Jesus that's a long time. It is incredibly hard to meet someone new here in my place, especially when you're past 30. So I tried for the past few years do online dating (okcupid, tagged, badoo), and sent literally hundreds of messages during that period (around 4 years), but got very little response. Girls usually just go to my profile, probably see few pictures, and go away. I've still never met anyone to go for a cup of coffee. I tried outside "online dating", like on dance lessons, but girls are really not interested into me. Probably *I am just not a dating material*. More like an average Joe. How can I become more attractive or intersting to women? | maybe I am just an average Joe and will never be dating material. How can I become more attractive or intersting to women? |
t3_2wf3kv | relationships | Me [32 /F] with my [40 F] boss...so how bad is what she just did? | I'll try to keep it short: basically, there are a number of spreadsheets that our team is responsible for sending to the client every day. One of them she has to review before sending, and because of that, it is usually late...despite the fact I get them to her hours early every day to give her plenty of time to look over it. So yesterday she was EXTREMELY late, and came yelling into the office "Where is the _ Spreadsheet?" "Well, horrible boss lady, I emailed it to you 3 hours ago." Silence. Then "Well forward it to me again". So I do.
I checked just now, and when she sent it to corporate, she went into the forward I'd sent and deleted the time stamp and removed the FWD from the subject. So it looks like I'M the one who sent it to her hours late instead of her being the one who screwed up. I've saved all the emails proving I sent it more than on time, just like I do every single day. How bad is this and why am I just RAGING over it. Do I go to her boss? What do I do? I'm so sick of this lady manipulating my team's shit to make herself look better... | Boss rewrites history in an email to make it look like I'm late, not her. Am I allowed to be as pissed off about this as I am? And how do I handle it (other than never forwarding her anything ever again and forcing her to use the original email)? |
t3_34t06a | tifu | TIFU by insisting to go for a walk [NSFL] | This actually happened last night. I was at my best friend's house, and since her father had died, she had become kind of a shut-in. I figured it would cheer her up if I insisted to go for a short walk. So, I ended up convincing her and while we were walking I commented that this was a great idea and we were actually having a pretty good time.
Apparently this was seen as a challenge by the universe, because literally seconds later, a cat landed reaaaaally close to my head. I couldn't tell you where it came from, but it had fallen from pretty high up.Maybe a building? It landed with a loud "thud", and began to meow and bleed profusely. It was extremely sad and traumatic, and there was nothing we could do to help, she was dead within two agonizing minutes. My friend is now even more traumatised than before and refuses to leave the house ever again. | It rained cats but thankfully not dogs. |
t3_495gev | relationships | I[M/30] cheated on my ex three years ago, but I have changed and matured since then. What should I do going forward with relationships? | I was in a 4 year relationship that I had grown bored of. We were just not right for each other. I did care for her, and I regret how it happened, but I ended up cheating on her. That relationship ended and since I got the 'wild' out of my system. I have since started to want a real relationship. I met Janet at a friend's birthday party two weeks ago and started to talk with her. We got along great and I got her number. We went on a first date that went well and she asked when we could do it again, so we agreed to last Friday. Last week she called to cancel and said she was busy. I called the next day to reschedule and she told me that she wasn't interested. I asked why, and she said that she heard from a friend that I had cheated on my last girlfriend and that she believes once a cheater always a cheater. I tried to explain that I was immature at that time and I am different, but she said it just wasn't going to work, she would never be able to trust me.
Is that fair to think? That was three years ago, and I am not that person anymore. If the relationship would have progressed, I would have told her about what happened, I don't want to be a liar like I was then, but is this something that I should hide from all future relationships? Can people not be redeemed and get a second chance? | I cheated on an ex and potential partner did not want to date me, even though I am no longer that person. |
t3_1bddvl | jobs | Eye opening rejection. Rethinking my plan of attack... | I was far in the interviewing process with a company recruiting from my university. I got the job description from the marketing placement office who was contacted by this company.
The interviews couldn't have gone better. They heard good things about me through my contacts whom they knew and trusted. And I rocked the interviews.
I got a follow-up email from them saying they went with someone else and sent me a link to their LinkedIn profile. Maybe to show me why she was a better choice.
Turns out, she had been in the Marketing industry for 10 years! Why did they bother recruiting from a college if they were only going to hire a seasoned professional? Furthermore, why was she accepting an entry-level job? How is that even fair?
I've had it up to here with the job hunt in my state and have decided it's best to look elsewhere. | lost my chance at an entry-level job to someone with 10 more years of experience. |
t3_if1lc | relationship_advice | I'm on a "break" and I don't know what to do with myself. | My Girlfriend of over two years has decided we need a break, she gave a bunch of reasons, basically they amounted to she wanted someone with more money, and didn't live his parents. I'm 20 and only live with my parents during the summer months before I go back to school, the same school she attends.
I did not agree to a break, i drove all the way to her house expecting a day of fun at the beach, we were there for like an hour, and then we go back and she basically dumps me. She maintains that she wants to work on the relationship and stay together, and I, having my suspiscions as to the true motive of the break, told her that she should not expect me to just take her back if she thinks its ok to just spring that on me and expect me to just be cool with it, clearly the relationship means more to me than it does to her right? | I want to end this "break" and be back together, but I'm not sure I can live with myself if I just take her back after this. |
t3_4dcwn6 | relationships | My GF [21F] of almost 2 years broke up with me [21M] last month : slowly moving on but wonder if things could one day work between us again | Hi /r/relationships,
My GF [21F] of almost 2 years broke up with me [21M] last month, she said she loves me but isn't in love anymore. She asked if we could keep in touch (to what I answered no), and the whole thing was very hard for both of us, we were both crying our eyes out.
I did respect her decision and we haven't had any form of contact in the last 30days. I also don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We both have been going out with friends a lot since then and I went out on dates with another girl while trying to move on.
So yeah, I'm feeling better each day about this situation and the heartache slowly fades away. The problem is can't take out of my mind the idea that someday we could be back together and make things work.
If after 2 more months of No Contact I still have feelings towards her should I try to contact her ? Or would it be better to not take the risk ?
Also have any of you got back with someone and made things work for a long time after this ? | GF of 2 years broke up with me because she wasn't in love anymore. Should I try to contact her if I still have feelings towards her after 3 months of No Contact ? |
t3_1nh8ey | offmychest | I just had my heart broken and I don't know why | I am using a throwaway because I want to forget this weekend ever happened after today. I am normally straight but I've found when I drink, I can tend to become much more willing to engage in activities that are really stupid. Mainly hooking up thru craigslist. With men. So, I found myself at the end of one such night when I met Bill(name changed because he'd probably get off knowing how I feel). He posted an ad seeking a potential LTR and wanted to travel around the world with someone. I fell for it hook line and sinker. At the end of an all weekend textathon, I invited him over for a blo 'n go. After that, I didn't see him again for about a month. Until I was lonely, drunk and wanted to see him again. I still believed there was the possibility of us getting together long term and I decided to text him. He still had my number in his phone, and we started chatting. Then, we make plans for him to come over my house for sex. He drives over and when he's less than a minute away, he responds that he now remembers who I am and wants nothing to do with me. Apparently, my apartment was so filthy last time he's willing to pass up free, unprotected sex with me because my toilet doesn't sparkle. Worse of all, when he saw my apartment I had spent all weekend cleaning it! The place is 35 years old and has the original toilet. It's practically sealed from decades of extremely hard water. I tried my best to clean it, but apparently it wasn't enough. Worst part, he text'd me that he can't be with someone who "lives like that." I'm sorry my apartment is so gross you can't have unprotected anal sex in it. Cause that'd just be nasty. I just feel like a failure that even when I try to clean up my place it was still that repulsive. I've been dealing with depression for years and was just getting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Now, I can't help but think "what's the point?" I hate my life. | Fuck you, Bill. I hope you get AIDS and die broken and alone. |
t3_2ebydm | relationship_advice | [28/f] No sex drive, don't want to lose my boyfriend | I have a serious problem. I finally found a great guy whom I love more than anything, but I'm afraid it's not going to last because of my low libido. It wasn't always this way - I used to be a huge nympho. Then I got put on a combination of medications, the end result of which is that my health is improving, but I have no sex drive. When our relationship started it wasn't as bad as it is now, but the doses got upped a few months ago. Sex has become a chore - a boring chore. I fake it for him, because I want to make him happy, but I can't fake the bondage he's into. I used to be just as into it, but now being tied up for an hour or more is just *boring* for me. I'd rather clean or wash dishes - something productive. I hate that things have come to this. We live together, so it's constantly an issue (he wants to play almost all the time). I don't know what to do. We've talked about it, and he says he understands, but then when he's horny and I'm not... he is very good at making me feel incredibly guilty. I'm at a loss. Anyone else out there managing a relationship in which one of you has a libido problem? How do you do it? | I don't have a sex drive. My boyfriend has a huge one. I need to figure out how to make it work. |
t3_3l04g8 | relationships | Me [17 M] with my father [54 M], I can't deal with this man-child anymore. | Reddit, I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.
Brief history between me and my father: we have a nonexistent relationship. In fact, if I weren't so independent, one could argue neglect (I have a job, take care of myself, cook for myself, etc).
My father is a person who won't even call his kids down for dinner. He's a person who would call someone a loser in a proposed "apology." He's prideful to a fault, demanding respect and becoming angry when not given respect unconditionally. He is also obsess with cleanliness, having not held a job for last 4 years, in that time period in which I have had 2, he has become ultra sensitive to details in the home. If there is literally a drop of oil near the grill he will shout at how dirty it is. I work in a restaurant, I know what dirty is. He is a person who will get something wrong but then get mad at you for correcting him. In a bundle, he is a narcissist created from a bundle of contradictions.
I've been pretty good with dealing with his behavior for most of my life, just rationalizing my anger (sort of like Spock) whenever my father berates me for some egotistical reason. I guarantee if that person had a kid that was more rebellious, he wouldn't be able to handle it. Recently, however, with the stress of college apps, my ability to deal with him has decreased, and sooner or later I really feel like I'm going to explode. I work out and the whole packet, but it's not working. I don't have anger issues, it's just that everyone has their own limits, and I think 7 years of consciously dealing with this is a bit much. Reddit, how do I hold on until college? | I'm beginning to be unable to deal with my father's unreasonable behavior. How to deal until college? |
t3_3f82qx | relationships | I [23 M] have been interested in my friend [24 F] for 10 months, problem is that she has had a child in that time. | Here is the situation: We met in August where we worked together, and became friends very quickly.Back in September we were hanging out a lot in a mostly innocent way.
She had a boyfriend at the time and I didn't want to step on any toes so I tried my best to keep distanced from her, even though we had both confirmed that we liked each other.
Well she tells me in November that her and her boyfriend are good together and didn't want to ruin it, so I backed off and tried my best to be friends with her.
Fast forward to now, she had a baby last month and now she kicked her boyfriend out for complicated issues. Now, I still really like her but I'm not sure if it is a good idea now since she has had a child. I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of commitment yet, but I still really care for her.
What should I do? I had been planning on working elsewhere in the country, but if we got together I don't think that it would be a possibility. Any help would be appreciated, thanks! | Girl I liked in 2014 had a kid recently and kicked her boyfriend out, I still like her though |
t3_143uhz | dogs | r/dogs, can you please help me identify what kind of dog my big boy Max is? | I got him about a year and a half ago from a shelter that told me he was 4-5 years old and a shepard/husky mix. After taking him to a locally respected vet, she told me that Max was no more than 1-2 years old. I am a regular at the local dog park and people ALWAYS ask me what kind of dog he is. To which I just reply, "Well the internet thinks he's an Australian Kelpie."
He is a very smart dog, and loves to be active. His true colors shine out playing rough at the dog park. He loves the cold and encouraging other dogs to play with him by nibbling on their legs/paws. | Can you please help me identify what kind of dog Max is? |
t3_4yq6ly | relationships | I [26M] don't get in any relationships - is something wrong with me? | I'm a young professional. I go on dates a few times a year, usually concentrated around the times when I'm feeling like going out. Usually these dates don't work out, sometimes they do but I still don't pursue them for more than say 2 months. I never call any of these girls my girlfriends, or consider these to be relationships. This has been going on for about 5 years now.
Recently I met a really nice girl, we never "dated" but hung out as friends a lot. She met someone else but came to me to ask if I wanted to date her, and I said no, because I didn't feel 100% sure about her. She went on to date this guy for a few months (which hurt me a bit, unexpectedly), and now they've broken up?
So my question is, should I be dating people even if I feel like we'd just break up in a few months? It seems like that's what everyone around me is doing. Sometimes I also feel like I can do better or would be settling, so I don't get in relationships. I do feel like I'm ready to settle down, but I'd rather find the right girl than waste several months on someone I'm not feeling 100% sure about. Is this a bad way to go about things? Should I get in more "throwaway" relationships? | I go out with people, sometimes multiple times, but I haven't been in a relationship in 5 years. A bit jealous of others who are in relationships, but just don't see the point in my own case. |
t3_1ir5a3 | relationships | Me[26M] and this girl [30F]. Would she date me even if I was unemployed? | There's this girl who has a pretty good job. I've only met her twice but she has been initiating chat conversations with me quite frequently. One time, she invited me out to coffee but I had plans. And, recently, I invited her out to an professional event (that she had no business of attending), so she drove 30 mins to see me. Maybe I'm reading her wrong but it seems like she is interested in me. Yet, she knows I'm currently unemployed at the moment (which has destroyed my confidence completely).
So do you guys think she's actually into me or she just wants to be friends? | Can a girl with good job like even though I'm unemployed? |
t3_3xyiyu | relationships | What exactly is manipulation? | So I just wanted to know exactly what manipulation is and how to know if someone is trying to manipulate you.
My boyfriend (18M) and I (18F) got in a fight the other day, over text (I know, unfortunate) and he never usually gets really mad during arguments. He didn't blame the actual fight on me, but he blamed me for it getting to the point that it go to, because I kept poking at the situation. I will admit, I do poke at things when the argument should be over, but do it when I still feel uneasy about something. He then said that he was so mad that he wanted to punch a wall, and if he did, everyone on Christmas would see his hand. He tried to blame that on me, but I said, no actually, I'm not to blame for your actions.
I went to sleep and he ended up sending me a huge long text saying he was really sorry for anything mean he had said and that he wanted us to just forget about the fight and have a fun week because of Christmas.
Was he manipulating me? Or was he just being irrational? | can't tell if boyfriend tried to manipulate me, but I wasn't having any of it |
t3_4p1lyd | tifu | TIFU by killing my sons goldfish | This happened this morning and I just told my son (5 year old).
I've had a sick fish for about two months now and I was really feeling bad trying to actually help him out. So, I went to /r/aquariums and asked for help with pics. The group there gave excellent advice with what I could try to do to help while keeping the other two goldfish alive.
I go to the store with my newfound wisdom and I'm taking my time reading all the options for water testing kits. My wife is getting impatient and starts rushing me to the point where I snap and just grab a pH lower solution, paid for my items and went home. I read the directions, poured in the stuff and walked away feeling like a champ.
This morning my wife tells me that the fish are all dead. I quickly clean the evidence before my son wakes up and tried to figure out wtf I did wrong. I reread the directions for the pH decrease and saw I put in 10 mL instead of 1 mL. I read the cap wrong and now my son is crying...I'm an asshole dad. | Killed my son's goldfish reading the cap wrong. |
t3_33fa8f | loseit | Grateful to have finally rediscovered my spring migration habits. | 31F, 5'6.5", medium build
SW: 190
CW: 175!! New flair! Hooray!!
GW: 165 Holy shit I am closer to my goal than my start!!!
The past few months have been hard. It's been a long, dreary, overworked and overstressed winter here in nyc... my pedometer has been showing that for quite some time now.
But the sun has finally woken up my spirit, overtime at work has subsided, and on four of the seven past days, I have exceeded my 10,000 step goal.
I have also recently purchased a lot of new clothes that actually fit. So people are finally noticing. An old Jewish woman told me I could stop losing weight now.
I am rejuvinated.
I have booked myself solid with enjoyable activities all over the city for the next few weekends: museums, yoga classes, parks, flea markets, (and... ok... a chocolate making class in Brooklyn...). | Fuck winter sadness. Spring is here. I am moving again. |
t3_32zn6k | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] 8 months, how do you ask your SO to move in with you? | I've been in a really stable relationship now for the past 8 months. She's really supportive of my BPD. (Borderline Personality Disorder)
I am so afraid of asking her to move in to my new apartment, starting June 1st.
A little background- I'm just returning to university this semester, and she graduated last June. She's stayed around, not employed yet. She is not exactly sure of her plans, and might be moving back to Korea for a break at home with family. I'm afraid that distance between us will break a lot of our structure, and so I really want her to stay. Yeah, I think that is pretty selfish of me, but I also do my utmost to help her establish her career pursuits and build her own structures. It just feels like nothing is certain ahead...
I've never been this committed in a relationship, so I'm really trying to get a sense, from some one with a BPD perspective as well. I posted in that subreddit, but got no response, so I'm trying here.
How have you guys taken this step? How do you time it right? What was the aftermath?
Thanks everyone. | Me and SO have a seemingly tentative future together, how can I ask her to move in to my apartment? |
t3_3bbehd | relationships | Should I [17 M] ask my best friend [17 F] out if I like her, but she hasn't given me any positive signs besides friendly flirts?Relationships | Our mutual friend told me she thinks it will definitely work out and we'll start dating, just not as soon as I'd like it to. Is there an truth to this? I don't want to wait if I don't have to and I don't know if there's really a benefit to waiting. The friend told me she won't go out with me if I ask her out and it'll be really awkward. She said she asked this girl if she'd ever date me and she said she did't know because she doesn't think people can take me seriously because I'm immature and she wouldn't be taken seriously if she dated me. The flirting my best friend has done include- asking me to touch her legs because she just shaved saying it was cute when i tried this dance move in her room at this restaurant we were with a bunch of friends and we were switching spots and she ended up grinding between my groin and the table. I honestly feel like I'm friend zoned and she doesn't know what she's doing. A few months before I knew her as well, I asked her out (sorta), but she liked someone else. despite her flirts. I got so much closer to her and we hang out alone frequently. I call her almost everyday I don't see her and we talk for about an hour. Basically we'd be doing everything we'd do as a couple minus the romance. :( We go watch movies together, chill at her house until midnight, go on walks, get coffee, etc. She also asked me to teach her to dance in her kitchen the other day. What do I say to her? I really like her because we get along so well and I have so much fun with her, but I'd be able to get over it if she didn't want to date. I'd just love for it to happen. I know when another guy comes around there is no way we'll still be as close as we are. | Should I wait to ask this girl out? |
t3_g7c9o | dating_advice | Girl tells me she is not dating anyone this year, maybe next. Is there still hope, or is she just letting me off easily? | So, here is the basic situation. I'm two years older than the girl. I am 20 and she is 18, and we are two grades apart (i.e. if I were a senior she would be a sophomore). Met her in high school, talked to her a bunch. We were part of a club that meet a lot (hour requirement of like 15 or 20 a week). Treated her like a little sister throughout high school, never had any romantic interest (can't say that about her. Some people say she liked me. I was apparently a hot item in high school, not sure where that went in college but moving on).
When I went to college I lost touch with most everyone at high school. This year I decided to reconnect with most of my old friends. I hadn't blown them off or anything, I just was in a very demanding group (don't get me started on those hour requirements). Anyway, she goes to the same college so I decide to catch up with her. Its basically like we never lost touch. She's a huge nerd, and actually understands the (embarrassing amount) of nerdy references I make. Debate whether to ask her out or not, the age difference (I make the argument that 2 years in college do make a huge impact in terms of maturity and interests, but once you get out it 2 years seems like nothing). Anyway, decided to go on a trick date, to kind of test drive her. Take her to a 'date party', not an actual frat/sorority thing but close enough. Things go well. Man the fuck up, ask her out. Sort of rejection. She say's she is not dating anyone this year, but maybe next. This rejection (oh boy, have there been many) seems to make more of an impact than most of them. So I don't know whether to just give up hope or not. Normally I just shrug them off but this one has stuck with me for a couple of days now. What say you, is there still hope? | Reconnect with girl two years younger than me when she started attending the same college. Ask her out. Says not this year, maybe next. Is that one of the 'its not you its me' or an actual 'I just have too much shit right now to add more shit to the fire'? |
t3_4vb9ef | relationships | Me (30 M) with my ex-GF (28 F): I am going to block her; should I tell her? | Me and my girlfriend dated for about 2 years, and broke up about a month ago. It was an amicable break up. Our views differed on some key things (largely marriage and kids).
Some intervening events happened since then that have made me think less of her and less of our relationship, but it is unimportant. Long story short, I am going to block her on all social media and on my cell phone.
Should I let her know ], or just pull the trigger and go dark? I do not want to hurt her, but I am not sure what is proper here. I have never totally blocked someone out of my life before. | I am going to block my ex along all forms of communication soon. We are on relatively good terms. Do I tell her before I do? |
t3_1ss7m3 | relationships | My boyfriend (26) of 3 years, does he deserve an undisclosed amount of "slack" for just having brought me flowers? | Whenever my boyfriend does something like buy me flowers or take me out to dinner, when we have a fight or disagreement within the few days after it, he says stuff like "didn't the flowers count for anything?" or "you're not acting appreciative" or "I got you flowers, I deserve some slack".
Is it some kind of cultural or gender difference? I absolutely *loathe* this way of thinking. I think you buy things for your SO because you love and care about them, not because you want to rack up your credit so that you can bust it out at an opportune moment when it will suit you best. I buy things for him all the time, including food (he hates grocery shopping) and expensive sake because I know he enjoys it. Sure, it's nice to get some appreciative treatment if you do something like that, but I disagree that it should be used like this in an argument.
Plus the logic just seems flawed. Is there a chart somewhere I should follow that says flowers = 3 days of "slack", a nice dinner out = 7 days of "slack". I mean, come on.. I really don't get it. | Boyfriend wants credit for things. |
t3_cz7aq | AskReddit | How do YOU deal with crippling cynicism? | *(Not talking about the ancient order of Greek philosophers, sorry, this is the [far less interesting] kind)*
I know most of you are probably cynical to a degree, the vast majority of forum users on the net are. You have to be, to survive. Imagine thinking the best of everyone, clicking every link posted without suspicion; Virus clusterfuck in under a minute. But what about when it creeps into real life, into your personality?
I find myself constantly questioning people's motives, do they gain something from what they are telling me about/asking me to do? Also, that constant negativity is a real kicker too, high expectations, instant disregard for anything popular, etc. So how can I become at least tolerable to anyone I might be remotely close to? And how do I not leave others I've recently met thinking I'm just an acerbic prick? | I want to be happier, any ideas on how I can change my jaded outlook of the world? |
t3_kx0fe | AskReddit | Eye experts of Reddit, I sincerely need your help | Hey everyone,
So a few days ago my eye started bugging me. I wear contacts, and this happens every once in awhile so I thought nothing of it. I went the last couple of days without them in. It still hurts, so I lifted my eye lid up. To my surprise, **[this] was under there. I have never had anything like it in my eye (it kinda sorta looks like a white head/zit type thing).
I can probably wait it out and see if it gets worse before seeing a doctor, but I'd like to know what the hell it is because it hurts so damn bad.
Thank you for anyone who might have any insight. I don't expect the thread to go far so hopefully the few who read this recognize it :) | Eye hurts, [this] is under my eyelid, what the fuck is it? |
t3_3viiup | relationships | I [24 M] cannot stand a certain person (about the same age), and as a result unfortunately have had to avoid a few other people who hang out with him. | I genuinely cannot stand this guy. He's annoying, awkward, fake, and on top of that he's ugly. (I don't judge people by their looks, but this guy's shitty smile just makes me wanna nuke the world)
I already have a nasty case of RBF, so even a slight twinge of annoyance shows on my face. I also have pangs of anxiety when around him, and I really don't enjoy hanging out if he's there. I'm uptight and nervous. The guy is awkward to the point where he stares at me, and waits for me to show signs of weakness so he can point them out.
I'm not the only one, I know a fair few people who don't like this guy.
I'm sure this guy's realized I'm avoiding him, and he would've told these people. I've already gotten distant from one person, and struggling to maintain relations with the others.. | How to tolerate someone I can't stand to not spoil relations with other mutual friends? |
t3_34ot1s | relationships | Should I [20 F] press for information my BF [21 M] 1 yr, about an anger problem he mentioned? | I recently went through some emotional problems where I was crying all the time spontaneously for no real reason.
My bf and I have talked a lot about emotions since. He is a very level-headed person and doesn't show a lot of emotion. I asked him if he has had episodes where he didn't feel in control of his emotions like how I felt. He said that he isn't the nicest when angry. I pressed further. He said that once between the ages of 13-18 he ended up breaking someone's hymoid (near the jaw) bone. He didn't say that it was out of control for him.
I wanted to know the story and I asked what happened, why, etc. but he said that it was in the past, he doesn't like talking about it, and its not his story to tell. He said nothing like that has happened since, it was a one time incident.
After we hung up the phone I looked up where this bone was and how it can be broken- mostly through falls and strangulation. There were a lot of cases about domestic violence where the man broke the woman's hymoid bone.
Is this something that I keep pressing until he says what happened or do I accept that it's in the past? If I do bring it up again how can I make him talk? | Boyfriend admitted to breaking someone's hymoid bone in the past but won't tell me the details. Should I press him for the story and if so how? |
t3_3sxd0e | relationship_advice | Am I [20/F] right to be annoyed at my boyfriend's [19/M] housemates [all 19/F]? | My boyfriend of 8 months lives with 3 girls, we are/were all friends. I spend at least 50% of my time in my boyfriend's house with him, I'm very rarely there on my own. His housemates called a house meeting last week, said the bills have gone up and basically attacked me. Saying things like my water usage was unreasonable, they weren't happy with the concept that 4 people were paying for 5. My boyfriend pointed out the water is un-metered so they pay a flat rate, gas and electric wise my boyfriend and I use the same amount as he would on his own. Therefore, I felt I couldn't be to blame for the rise? I inquired about the bill rise, it turned out their internet company added an extra charge of £4 each per month without warning. When my boyfriend mentioned this to his housemates they said they'd 'keep an eye on the next month's bills' and they seemed to have no care for my feelings even when my boyfriend told them I was hurt by their actions.
Am I wrong to be hurt/upset/annoyed? I classed these girls as my friends and am shocked at how easily and quickly they attacked me before checking their bills.
Am I right to push my boyfriend to ask them to apologise? | Utility bills in my boyfriend's 4bed house share have increased. His housemates [all 19/F] instantly attacked me, I found out it was a new internet charge. Now no one is apologising for hurting me, I feel unwanted in his house. Am I right to want an apology? |
t3_15yb7f | dating_advice | It seems like she lied to me. How do I re-approach her before there's no chance of even friendship (21m/21f)? | I got pretty drunk a week ago and climbed on top of a really good friend of mine who I kind of liked at the time in bed briefly. Her friends told me and I apologized to everyone and they all laughed and said everything was ok. This week though she went to a party at her friend's apartment and invited all of our mutual friends except for me. I confronted her about it thinking something might have been wrong, but she said everything was fine - she just could only invite a certain about of other guys and not to take it personally.
I said ok then when some of our friends asked if I wanted to go with them I told them I wasn't invited because xxxxx told me she really couldn't have any other guys. So they asked her themselves about bringing others and got a "Sure! Bring him!! I don't know what you're talking about, what Mark said is a complete lie."
How to I re-approach this? We've been such great friends, I really don't want to lose her. I don't even want a relationship or to get in her pants - I just always have fun when we are together. | girl seemingly lied to me about why I wasn't invited to party and then told my friends that what I told them was a lie about not being able to bring other people |
t3_2b58lm | relationships | How to work on rekindling my (f21) sexual interest for my boyfriend (m22) of 2 1/2 years? | Just want to say right off that this is something I want to work on and fix, I don't know what is causing it (he's done nothing wrong) and I'd very much appreciate advice.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years now, and over the last two months I've seen that my urge to have sex with him has decreased. It was a very sudden change which is one of the primary reasons I'm confused and don't know what caused it. It was not a slow decline.
I'm not choosing masturbation over him and I'm not thinking about other men, I've just almost completely stopped initiating with him.
I used to be the one who wanted sex all the time at every hour for at least the first year. In the second year things slowed down to a more practical 3 or so times a week, but now it's more like two times a week and he always initiates. I agree even though I initially am not interested but I know it'll feel good once we get started and I don't want to make him feel bad.
Despite my efforts, he has noticed my declining interests and is trying to do different things which I appreciate. The sex is seriously amazing when it's happening, just for some odd reason the convincing myself to even get started has become difficult.
I'm not on any new medication. I'm not pregnant, and I've been on microgestin (birth control) for a year and a half now. I'm considering going to the doctor about the birth control since I still haven't had a normal period since I've been on it which I think is weird but they insist it's normal. It's very frustrating since I just can't figure out what the sudden change here is. Should I get into therapy for it?
I love my boyfriend very much and I know he loves me more than anything so I really want to work on this. I miss really desiring sex with him and I want to get that back. | Suddenly less interested in sex with boyfriend. How can I work on fixing this? |
t3_16nsnq | AskReddit | What happens if USPS loses a package, the sender provides a replacement, then the original package shows up later? | I ordered a hard drive and it was supposedly delivered over a week ago, according to USPS. I called the company I bought it from and they called USPS with me on the line, and they said it was delivered and they would ask the driver about it. I was supposed to call the company back after hearing from USPS. Before even hearing from USPS, the next morning the company called me back and said they would provide a replacement, and I arranged to pick it up in store. The USPS never called back and I picked up the new drive, everything was fine.
I should mention I had it delivered to my work and sometimes we get things for a building with a similar address and vice versa. Anyway, today I go into work and lo and behold, the original package that was supposedly delivered over a week ago. Then, a while later, the guy from the other building comes over, with another misdelivered package for me, and asks if it was intended for me, which it was. Then he mentioned the other package and how the delivery lady mixes things up sometimes and he was looking all over the office building for someone with my name before he realized the difference, blah blah blah, that's why it took a week for him to get it over to me.
ANYWAY, I now have two hard drives and my instinct is that I should just keep them because, their error, right? Plus, I ordered another hard drive that ended up being bad, and I have to try to return it, blah blah blah, so this kind of solves that problem. I guess it really comes down to I am high and paranoid I am being set up by COMPUSA and USPS for mail fraud or some shit, please tell me everything is ok and I got a free hard drive today. | Got a free hard drive in the mail today, tell me it's cool to keep it. |
t3_2ehqa9 | offmychest | Hardwork doesn't payoff | It's stupid. I feel like I've been sold a false bill of goods. They always said hardwork pays off since I was a kid and like a fucking idiot I always ate it up. I used to love those fucking stories about the underdog that wins. Lived for the Rocky movies with those stupid training montages.
It just took me years to understand that there are millions of Rocky wannabees and only one Rocky. Not everyone's hardwork pays off. It's just so fucking frustrating.
I sat in school and studied and worked harder than everyone else all the way through college. I got into one of the shittiest medical schools and have survived constantly on the border of failing and passing. I studied my ass for all these tests yet still keep performing below average. I'll never have the life that I thought I would have and am now instead in an insurmountable amount of debt.
I know, I know. At least you're passing. But it's just that I thought I was supposed to be the best. I thought if I worked harder than everyone else I would get the best results. Instead people that are fooling around get better grades than me and I'm stuck putting in tons of hours. It just doesn't seem fair.
I shouldn't have to do the shittiest specialty that essentially gurantees that it will take me the rest of my life to pay off my debt. I'm not asking to do plastic surgery but just a middle of the road specialty.
I know nobody owes me anything and I should be happy for everything that I have gotten and there are tons of people that have worked hard and haven't gotten anything.
It just hurts so bad. I wanted to be one of those stories you tell your kids when they're discouraged about working hard. Flexaroni busted his ass and look how far he's gone. | I'm a whiner I should be grateful. It's just hard to. |
t3_4q1yxv | relationships | I [22/M] need advice on whether or not to continue initiating with a girl [23/F] that I'm seeing | I've been seeing this girl for a little more than a month - I've known her for years and we've always liked each other but never dated (she had a boyfriend when I met her in high school). Anyway, she is coming off a four year relationship that ended with a called off engagement, and she randomly texted me out of the blue about 5/6 weeks ago and we've hung out a bunch of times since then (she lives about an hour and a half away from me so we hang out when we can). I like her a lot and she always tells me how much she likes me, and I really believe her. We haven't even had sex yet, but whenever we do anything I always initiate it. She seems to enjoy it and reciprocates my affection enthusiastically but if I didn't kiss her first or hold her hand first then I don't think we would kiss or hold hands for the duration of our hang outs. Should I worry about this? Am I being unfair because she recently called off an engagement and might be hesitant to initiate affection with another guy so soon? I'm really considering not initiating anything the next few times we hang out just to see what happens, and also because I just can't be the one initiating all the time. I want her to initiate as well because that would prove to me that she really feels the way that she says. Any advice/input is appreciated. | girl that I'm seeing says she really likes me but never initiates, don't know if I should stop initiating or not |
t3_4z7j2a | tifu | TIFU by jamming out too hard at work. | I was happily minding my own business at work today, coding while at the same time jammin' out to Tame Impala's Let It Happen. Despite all of life's problems, during this song all was right in the world until right around 6:15 when the guitar comes in that I subconsciously started to shake my left leg to the beat. (I know because I then thought wow I really shook that leg)
Well I must have shaken it so hard because when I got up to walk to the bathroom I fell flat on my face and yelled out "FUCK!" Coworkers thought I was having a seizure or some shit.
Now my left knee is stiff AF and according to Google I now have "Knee bursitis" which will last for weeks. FML. | Jammed out so hard I gave myself Knee bursitis. |
t3_38hmqy | relationships | Me [20M] with my parents [51F] and [51M]. Can't properly communicate regarding my life and what I want. | English is not my first language. My mother tongue is a South Asian language, and my parents, owing to our upper middle class South Asian background, are generally liberal, if a little over-protective. I grew up speaking English as my first language everywhere outside of home. At school, university and work.
Now living in Canada, I still speak in my first language at home, but all my thoughts are formed in English. As a result, my ability to communicate effectively in my first language is limited in terms of expressing my feelings and thoughts, and talking to my parents in English currently feels awkward, although they are perfectly fluent in it.
I am trying to communicate my true nature and grown-up thoughts to them, but just can't because I can't find the right way to say the words in my first language, and on the other hand, while I can perfectly formulate the feelings in English, it is bound to be slightly twisted by the time they take it in, as it reaches their head first, where it then gets translated to the first language, as is common with any normal human being.
Now I am trying to break this communication barrier in order to make them see me as an adult and for me to be able to express myself authentically in a way that they understand my thoughts perfectly. | I speak with my parents in my mother tongue, despite English being my dominant language. Can't communicate my thoughts and wants effectively. |
t3_2fbv8w | relationships | Should I [25 F] let my girlfriend [27F] know that I don't care about gifts? | I am dating the most amazing person. We've been together for 3 months. My birthday is coming up and I want to let her know that while I like birthdays, I really (sincerely) don't care about/expect gifts in relationships. Would it be weird to say something along those lines? I do like giving gifts, so I don't want her to feel like I'd be shooting down gift gifting in our relationship completely, I just want to keep her from feeling any pressure to find me a good present. I kind of prefer enjoying a nice glass of wine/ having a nice evening together over any sort of thing that she could go buy.
Thoughts? | Should I tell my girlfriend I don't care about gifts? |
t3_488kmo | offmychest | Just broke up with my gf of 10 months. Know it was the right thing but it still sucks. | Posted this in r/relationships but they booted me over here.
Literally just did it. About to start residency, likely halfway across the country. It sucks because our relationship was so great and there was nothing wrong. I just know that residency combined with a LDR was pretty much a perfect recipe for failure. I hate that I caused her this pain and I feel like a jerk but she's a strong woman and hopefully she will come out of this even stronger. I'm gonna miss you K and I hope you realize and accept why I did what I did today. I wish nothing but the best for you. | ended a seemingly good relationship today. Feel guilty but know it was the right thing. Just wanted to write my thoughts down somewhere. |
t3_3qm47y | relationships | [19 M] getting with an old flame [19 F] | Hi guys. One of my best friends and I liked each other around a year ago. We decided we didn't want to go into university with emotional baggage, so we didn't go for it. Things got awkward, and we ended up avoiding each other for the year. We started talking again for the past 2 months, and we're super close again; it's like nothing even happened. I'm 99% sure we have mutual feelings for each other. We talk a decent amount, flirt a bit, and go places just the two of us. I'm not sure if I should explicitly tell her how I feel, or just go for it (kiss her). Thoughts? | Old flame fizzled, reignited after a year, how to proceed |
t3_3fiwib | relationships | I [22 M] feel like my girlfriend [21 M/F] of a year doesn't take anything I say seriously | Me and my girl fiend met through a mutual friend on an online game and hit it off pretty quickly. We started dating a month into our friendship and its been pretty good for the most part.
The problem I have is that I feel like she doesn't really take anything i say seriously. 5 months ago i asked her to download snap chat so we can have fun chats that way, but she refused saying she didn't really feel like it. It wasn't that big a deal so I went on my business. Two months later she tells that she downloaded snap chat because one of her coworkers really wanted her too. I was happy at first because now we could snap chat, but then I thought why would she do it for a co worker, but not when I asked. I asked her and she said that it was because a lot of people asked her to, not just the co worker.
Another example of this is that I really wanted her to see adventure time because I am a huge fan and I know she would love it. She quickly rejected that idea stating that she didnt want to for reasons she wouldn't give me. 3 months after that I ask her what shes doing and she says watching adventure time. Again I don't understand why she started watching randomly one day and it was because she felt like it, not because i suggested it.
I feel like whatever I say doesn't really matter because we usually always do what she want. I mean I don't really mind since we have the same taste in most things, but I just wish she would take me a little bit more seriously or care about what i have to say. Am I wrong to feel this way? | Girlfriend refuses to take any of my suggestions only to end up doing them for some other reason. I feel like what I say doesn't matter. Is it Okay to feel this way? |
t3_4drjbg | relationships | Me [35/F] with my work colleague [ 30 /F] of 1 month, she's got her foot on my neck and I don't know how to deal with her | I just started this new job and a girl I work with (same level as me) is being difficult.
She comments a lot about how I am not getting enough done, how I need to be faster. The feedback I have from the rest of my colleagues is that im faster than anyone else has been at the same stage. She corrects me allthe time even about things that aren't really mistakes such as wording emails etc. Every day the order that she wants things done changes. And then she corrects me for not knowing she had changed things.
I have spoken to the guy who did the job before me and he said she was really difficult and he's looking forward to not working with her again.
Last week I ended up in tears because she wouldn't let me take a break all day (from 2pm to 8pm). I am so embarrassed at having cried at work.
What the hell am i going to do? | work colleague is making work life hell but im new there. What do I do? |
t3_2zpyr8 | tifu | TIFU by receiving a condom. | This happened a few months ago, but it was very embarrassing, so I thought I'd share it with you.
In weekends I work as a bouncer, and one week before this incident I was standing outside the club, and a customer that I know briefly, walks past me to get inside. When he passes me he says "Hey ducksandgoats, it looks like you need this" and he hands me a condom, before I had the chance to react, he walks inside the club. More people were approaching so I just hid the condom in my pocket to not draw attention.
The shift ended and I went home, and forgot about the condom. One week later I was back at work, and I had noticed this girl staring at me a lot, and smiling every time I walked by, I never hit on girls when I work, but sometimes I am approached by girls that give me their numbers and stuff. But this girl was really cute, and I wouldn't mind getting to know her better.
I went inside for some water, the girl was standing right inside of the entrance together with another friend,I am a little shy, so I decided I'd pick up my cellphone to avoid eye contact as I passed them. I was right in front of them when I decided to do it, and you could guess what happened, I took out my mobile phone and the condom went flying out of my pants and landed right in front of the girls. I could feel my head just fall straight down to the ground, and I just froze. The girl said "oh, you dropped something" and she picked it up to give it to me, when she discovered what she had in her hand, she burst out laughing.
I had never been so embarassed in my life, at first I just stuttered, and then I started explaining how I got it and that it was another guy's condom, but I just stopped in the middle of the explaination, because noone would believe that anyway.. She started laughing again and handed me the condom while she said "maybe you'll use it later" and blinked at me, but I was so embarassed that I just left without saying much. | Dropped a condom in front of a girl that was interested in me. She was down, but I became awkward penguin. |
t3_13ub6l | loseit | A negative, unforeseen, consequence of weight loss involving the opposite sex. Help? | 23/m here. I got sick of being fat. I was 212 pounds on October 23rd. I now weight 195. Still a long way to go but I've met a milestone of half way to my weight goal. I recently crushed hard on this girl I met through a couple friends. We have been talking for like a month and texting everyday. We've hung out a couple times and she was supposed to come over today. Tonight she texted me saying that she was too intimidated by my weight loss and thought she wasn't good enough for me as she doesn't see her self as one of those "skinny girls"
As someone who was overweight probably nearing obese last month, I never thought LOSING weight would have a negative impact on my dating life.
Anyone else have these issues? How to fix them? Thoughts? | I lost 17 pounds in a month, the girl I was talking to is intimidated and doesn't want to continue things. |
t3_1j8x7t | relationship_advice | My Indian family is going to disapprove of my American bf (26m) without meeting him...HELP! | My bf (26m) and I (23f) have been in a serious committed relationship for almost two years. From the onset he knew that my family's acceptance of him would be something difficult and I was not even going to tell them about him until I was sure we had a future. I now know that we do. He is the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. My family has always wanted me to marry someone of the same race (indian) as me, and for a while I dropped my standards and dated Indian people but never anyone I clicked with. My bf (not indian --he's American) and I started off as friends but now have been going strong for almost 2 years. My parents keep bringing up me finding a "nice Indian guy"...HOW do I tell them that I've found someone, who they won't approve of? I can't keep this secret any longer.. | My parents want me to marry someone in my own race, I disagree. |
t3_q9qi0 | AskReddit | What is your experience of somebody with good intentions making the situation worse? | For me it was when I was a young teen on holiday with my mum. We were on a long coach journey and I was half-asleep on her shoulder.
A stranger came over and told her he'd noticed how bad my skin looked. Now at the time I had a little bit of acne and wasn't particularly bothered by it, my parents had told me it would go away eventually and that I shouldn't cover it up with makeup as it would make it worse. The stranger went on to recommend roaccutane and my mum got him to write it down for her.
All the while I was, at this point, pretending to be asleep and mortified with embarassment. It was like they had both agreed my face needed treatment and I felt miserable the whole trip and the memory has stayed with me ever since.
Looking back on it, I know the man meant well and neither of them knew I was actually awake, but it still made me very aware of how other people must have looked at me. | Stranger points out my acne when I wasn't all that bothered about it before. Made me an incredibly self-conscious teenager. |
t3_23sgub | relationships | Me [24/F] with a new guy [33 M], is there such a thing as "seeing too much of each other" too soon? | We met through mutual friends. He asked me out last Sunday and we had a nice date. We had a really great time and we clicked on so many levels. He asked me out again last night and we had a lovely time again. I stayed over both nights. He's expressed interest in going out again this Saturday, and said he would text me.
The thing is, I've been burned in the past by guys who said we "went too fast" even though I followed their lead. I'd actually like to see this guy again because he's great but is thrice in a week too fast? I have some friends telling me to be "busy" this Saturday but I think that's bullshit. However, I'd like to hear your opinion Reddit. | Sexual politics are stupid but should I follow them in this instance? |
t3_548buk | relationships | My(18/m) gf(18/f) and I are discussing college and want different things | So my girlfriend and I are stressing about college and had a discussion and it turns out we want way different things.
She wants to go to different colleges in order to have our own things going but still maintain the relationship.
Luckily our top schools are all in the same area so we would see each other but it would only be a few times a month she's assuming on top of the fact that she plans to travel.
I, on the other hand, want to go to closer or the same college so we could see each other more than that. I can't imagine going through 4 years (and probably grad school) only getting to see her a couple times a month.
She also informed me that even if we do go to the same school, she wants to limit how often we'd see each other so we could have our own friends. I mean I guess it makes sense, but I resent that she's setting ground rules for me like I'd never leave her alone.
Also I'm aware that long distance relationships, especially in college, rarely work.
We've gone through two years of high school going weekend to weekend but we've seen each other at least once a week which I feel like worked pretty well.
I feel like a scumbag for wanting to see her more but at the same time I want to enjoy college and not spend every night alone I guess is how I'd put it.
But also I haven't been single in awhile; I'm fairly good looking, but being alone, especially after so long, really scares me.
Sorry if this post is really dumb or whinny, but the people I talk to tell me not to worry about it yet and I can't really help it. So I want to hear some advice or tips if anybody has some. | should I break up with a long term girlfriend before college |
t3_1ll3uq | AskReddit | What's your best college roommate story? | During my freshman year I had two roommates who I'm convinced never left their houses until they left for college. One weekend, during the first month of school, one of them decided he wanted to start drinking. This was his first time drinking, so he didn't really know how to control himself, and oh, it was on a Sunday night.
He bought a handle of Burnetts (Now you really know he's new to drinking) and drank about 3/4ths of it over the course of a few hours. While he was binge drinking, he drank 2 bottles of Code Red Mountain Dew and ate a can of chili. At about 2-3 in the morning, this dude threw up everywhere. When I say everywhere, I mean EVERYWHERE. He filled his bed, our walls, and carpet with barf. He threw up in his hands, and because he was still drunk he used the walls to hold himself up. The best part is, since he ate and drank exclusively red foods that night, everything he barfed up looked like an organ, and all the hand prints on the wall made the dorm look like a murder scene.
He left our dorm, and made his way to the bathroom, where he filled both the urinal and toilet with his vomit. Within 20 minutes, our entire floor looked like a massacre had taken place. An RA ended up hearing all of this, and called 911. He was taken to the hospital, where he ripped out his IV and left a nice long scar on his forearm. Because he was in the hospital, and my other roommate and I did't want to go in the room, it wasn't cleaned up until 2 days later when he came back. | Roommate drank for the first time and left the dorm hall looking like a crime scene |
t3_2o73z8 | relationships | I (20 M) am not sure about the viability of my 3 year relationship with my girlfriend (19 F) because of differing interests and change | When we started dating, I was a Junior in high school and she was a sophomore. Typical "young people think they're going the distance" feelings.
In high school, our differing interests didn't leave me wanting better conversations or wishing she could hang out with my friends more because we were busy with sports and work. We were more than happy watching movies on the couch.
I'm a Sophomore in college now and as the interests I've had have developed and become more important to me, she hasn't developed any interests. She plays softball at a University about 45 minutes from mine and she says that is her interest, as well as math.
I'm a Public Administration (like Political Science) major and a Philosophy minor. She didn't even vote in the last election. I would like to talk about Philosophy with a significant other, but I understand that's not common.
I so strongly dislike her family. Her mother thinks my friends are trash because they are not religious and they (we) drink. Couldn't imagine what she would think if she knew they like to get high on occasion. Her understanding of the world is one of someone who has never attended college, never left the hometown of less than 20,000, and has a distaste for reading.
My closest family members think I should end it because they don't think she will make me happy down the road. And right now I'm not happy in the relationship, but I'm also not unhappy. They like her and aren't pushing me to end it, but they think it would be best for me. I'm afraid of finding the grass is not always greener. And of hurting her, she is so nice, she doesn't deserve to get hurt. | Girlfriend is very nice, but she doesn't have the same interests. I strongly dislike her family, my family thinks it would be best if I ended it. I am not "happy" with the relationship but also not unhappy. Am I just at a point in the relationship everyone reaches? |
t3_3phdla | relationships | Me [31F] with my [35M] husband of two years, he binge drinks and blacks out and won't get help. | I have been with my husband for two years. When he is not drinking, he is kind, sensitive and devoted to me and our life. He is a great husband. He has struggled his whole life with depression, and at least two times a month, he will go out and drink to the point of blacking out.
When this happens, I feel like my husband is gone. He will go to sleep next to me and keep me up the whole night, sometimes when I have to work the next day. Sometimes I will wake to find him passed out on the couch. He can be very mean to me and will act like I'm being crazy if I tell him he is too drunk. During these episodes, I feel scared and alone.
The next morning, he will always feel terrible, and promise it won't happen again... Sometimes he will stop drinking for awhile, but he always starts again.
Growing up, my parents were alcoholics and I was pretty traumatized but that experience. My mom was passed out most days when I got home from school. Their behavior was unpredictable and our life was chaotic.
At this point, I feel I have lost a lot of respect for my husband. He knows these things about my past and how it makes me feel. He has gone to a therapist, but ends up not going after a few sessions.
Whenever I am out of town, I am pretty sure he drinks like this every night.
I am at a point where I don't feel attracted to him anymore, and this is really starting to cause problems because I think it makes him drink more, because I don't really want to be around him.
I feel really hopeless, and afraid to talk to my friends about it because I'm embarrassed I let this happen. | My husband of two years will binge drink to the point of blacking out about twice a month. His personality changes and he is unbearable to be around. I grew up with alcoholic parents and his behavior is triggering me. I've told him how I feel but he doesn't get help. |
t3_yoxo4 | BreakUps | When will she return? | I am using a throwaway account. I can't give away too many details. She reads /r/relationships quite often.
EX GF 25 has been my ex for nearly 2 months now. I'm 27. 6 year relationship.
She is seeing another guy. I'm confident it won't work out between them. There are practical reasons but let me just say that WE are meant to be together.
She told me she doesn't want to be with me at the moment. She more recently told me that she can never see us together again in the future but I don't believe her (probably denial on my behalf) but you can pick up when someone's tone that isn't truthful and it sounded like it was someone else's words (friend or relative). I do know you will all pick up on this and I accept her current choice, I accept that we won't be together for a while. But just as quickly as our relationship ended I believe it can be rekindled.
**I want to know other people's stories of how long it took their exes to come back for another try?**
I've been on this subreddit a long time. I've heard all the moving on tips. Thanks but no thanks, not trying to be rude sorry.
I believe this will happen for us as much as everyone else on here has to believe they will find someone new one day.
I will fight for my love and I will wait for my love, days, months, years. I'm going to carry on with my own life and not hang about waiting for her but I know it will happen one day. | How long has it took for your exes to come back for another try? |
t3_v7adj | AskReddit | My roommate is overly defensive | Like, you don't even know. He's my friend, or I'd like to say so if he wasn't pissing me off so much lately. He doesn't replace the toilet paper when he's done. Instead, he thinks balancing the new roll on the old one while it's still on the TP holder is acceptable. He invites my friends over without even telling me until after the matter, which has been a pain in the ass lately because I'm still recovering from bronchitis. I don't especially feel like hanging out, and if I don't, my friends think I'm flaking on them. He lets trash pile up in his room. He just throws shit on the floor. Mind you, this is in the living room area. I walk by it every fucking day and smell it too. Dust bunnies form under all the shit he throws on the floor, I kid you not (SERIOUSLY). BUT THE WORST PART, the absolute worst part is when I try to bring up these issues with him, he will throw a fit instead of trying to listen. Every criticism of him and his slovenly behavior is a personal attack when it's all completely true. It's gotten to the point that I don't want to say anything because of all the drama that will inevitably break forth, but the place is getting disgusting and he's seriously starting to dickride my friends and I'm not cool with that. | Roomate is a slob, but whenever I bring it up he gets angry and defensive. Is there any way I can try to solve this without a shitstorm or will I have to just wade through the shit? |
t3_16fuv7 | relationship_advice | Please help me, I'm going insane here | First off let me just say that if this is the wrong subreddit I apologize.
I'm 21
But I have been dating this girl(18) for a good 4 months now. We really do have a great connection I feel like. I mean I'm able to completely be myself and talk with her in ways I usually can't with people because of my extreme social anxiety.
But there's this problem. A lot of her friends are guys and she has hardly introduced me to any of them. She didn't till recently let me meet a few of them. She says it's because they are assholes but I say that it shouldn't matter. I bring her around my friends all the time, and if one of them wanted to give me or her shit I'd jump in right away. I feel like she's not giving me the same respect though.
And these guys do text her some, and sometimes I feel like she's trying to hide the fact that she does from me.
And this guy hit her up once and then her started trying with her. And she didn't tell me about it until we were hanging out and he called her. She did go visit him once with her friend who's a girl. She claims that she didn't think he was trying with her at first and that she was waiting to tell me once her really started annoying her.
But the thing is because I struggle with anxiety and also some paranoia i don't know what's in my head and what's real.
But I've been in situations, like my last relationship, where she was basically doing the same thing and I would always ask her but then she started saying I was paranoid and being overly jealous, but in the end I was right and she was being extremely flirtatious with these guys and trying to hide it all from me and she ended up cheating on me.
I just really don't want a repeat.
Basically I guess I just wanna know where's the line between looking out for myself and being overly paranoid and jealous and how would I approach this situation? | girlfriend has guys friends, I'm uncomfortable. |
t3_4zp8jb | relationships | A [m, 20] think a girl [f, 19] likes me but I already have a girlfriend [f, 19], what do I do about this? | some backstory:
I met this girl, lets call her girl B and my girlfriend will be girl A, about a week and a half ago. I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 5 months now. Girl B has been talking to me constantly this past week, mainly through text, but we have hung out like 5 to 7 times, through our on-campus job and I set my roommate up with her good friend. 2 of my roommates, both guys, says Girl B is looking to have sex with me, but my best girl friend says she is just being nice to me and that she isn't flirting with me, Girl B texts me CONSTANTLY. I have told girl B about my girlfriend several times. She knows I have a girlfriend.
I have not told my girlfriend about girl B because I feel like I do not have to. We are just talking. All of my friends that I talk to are all part of the same friend group, so its nice having a friend who is not part of our squad who I can talk to. I don't even find her very attractive so my girlfriend should not be worried at all. I mean, she is beautiful, she is beautiful eyes but I do not find her sexually attractive at all. One of my roommates wants me to completely avoid girl B now. | a girl likes me but I already have a girlfriend, friends want me to avoid her for good, but I dont really want to. |
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