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t3_2ivdrd | relationships | I[25m] bumped into this girl[20f] it happened so fast and I told her that I love her... Now I feel like guilty and stupid | I just met this girl on a sunny day who was walking towards me right then and there we exchanged numbers and then after 3 hours she called to meet me and we end up making out near our university lake, I got in to this romantic mode thing and I said I have this first sight love with her.
She met me again after that day and I bring her to my room for the "coffee" we started making out and while I was removing her clothes she gave me this weird look and said she has never done it before and this is too fast for her (she is virgin). I was too horny to stop I ended up touching her body with my hands she seemed nervous and undelightful with that she asked me to stop because she wanted to go back to her dorm before it gets closed, so I let her go.
Now I think it was really too fast for me to do all that I am currently single but I think this girl is really too young for me and seems over emotional and over attach and I am afraid she might get hurt in this, so I decided to stay away from her. She asked me to meet again after that day and I refused. I know I am too old for this but I have never been into a situation where I have to control myself like this and let other know what is good for her.
Please advice how do I tell her that it was too fast? Is it better to talk to her about this on the message/IM or talk to her physically which one is better? | I over excitedly told 20y old girl that I love her in first sight but now I think it was too fast. How do I tell her about it as she seems a little immature? |
t3_1i2pfr | relationships | My friend[18M] and his gf [18F] (3 months), please help me help him with his LDR problem | my friend (let's call him max) met this girl (let's call her Rachel), 10 months ago, and after 7 months of friendship, they got into a really great relationship. I've genuinely never seen him as happy as when he's talking to or about her. However, they met abroad in a language program and are both from different countries. He's going to the states next year and she's doing two more years at the program. They're in this really strange semi-together place that I think could end up really hurting them.
So max is basically head over heels for her and Rachel is the same, but Rachel told him that she definitely wanted to break up. Max hasn't told her yet but he really wants to be with her but he knows he can't do long distance. They talked on the phone yesterday and she ended up crying or something because she missed him. Anyway, I'm currently traveling with him in different places and he can't stop thinking about her. I'm doing everything I can to keep him entertained and happy so that he can use this as a "turning point" or something and make it easier, but they're still talking as if they were together. They're half way around the world from each other, max will be starting college in the fall and they have no plans to change their plans. So, it would be about 2.5-4 years until they see each other next. I've seen my friends go down this road and I hate telling him what I've seen, but I don't want to see him get hurt months down the line. What can I do?
Extra info about them that I think might be important.: they're both trilingual and communicate with their non-mother tongue (far from fluent but he says communication isn't a problem). Rachel is max's first. Mac is really sensitive and broke down pretty visibly one time when he found out his crush had a boyfriend. I'll think of some more stuff later | friend is in a LDR across the world and won't see her for at least 2.5 years. Help me do whatever I can to do whatever is right |
t3_1ecnhj | relationship_advice | It will be my [28/m] 5yr anniversary with my girlfriend [26/f] tomorrow, I have $8.00 and I need help! | A little history because we have been trough so much together it's hard to put down in words. We met and fell in love instantly, our souls connected. I loved her the moment our eyes met that is the truth. We have gone through 3 apartments in two states, many life changes and we have always been there for each other. I love her way more today than ever we met things have been really hard lately and we have not had the money to "date", a very important factor in maintaining all parts of the relationship. At the moment she just quit her job she hated and has since found employment but has not started working yet, I am a fundraiser for charity so my checks alone do lot leave a penny to spare and she knows that leaving her job at that particular time was going to leave celebration of our anniversary behind as well, so she is not expecting ANYTHING, so I want to do something totally amazing so any ideas would help | 5 years together, $8.00, she is not expecting anything (I also don't have a car, and we live in LA if that helps with ideas) |
t3_1n9rw8 | relationship_advice | I [26/m] am having trouble with knowing too much about my girlfriend [21/f]. | To begin, I love my girlfriend with all of my heart. Everything has been amazing, and even when things aren't, we work through them together. We physically, emotionally, and mentally stimulate each other in ways that neither of us have ever felt before. To say that we're serious is an understatement. However, there is one issue we're both trying to deal with, but I seem to be having a bit more trouble than she is.
The Problem: Before we started dating, we hung out quite a bit. We had the type of friendship where we could sit for hours on end just talking and never get bored. During this time, we both talked about our past relationships a lot, including the sex. It wasn't uncommon for us to go into get detail as we tried to one up each others sexual exploits. After we started dating and becoming more serious, this came back to bite us in the ass. She has her moments, but she seems to be coping well enough. I, however, have a terribly vivid imagination.
Additional Details: We've talked about this problem together, and we both always come out of the conversation feeling better. I tend to let it get to me more often than she does, so I end up bringing it up more frequently. I'm trying my best to deal with this because it's not fair to her that I keep digging up the past. I want to fix this, for both of our sake.
A Bit More About Me Specifically: I don't care that she's been with other guys. I love her and accept her for who she is, and I wouldn't change a thing. My problem is that I know details that I wish I didn't. Every so often, a terrible mental image of her and one of her exs invades my mind, and I can't get rid of it. It doesn't help that she's an amazing woman and most of her exs were scumbags.
The Question: Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with detailed mental images of my girlfriend with other guys? The best I've come up with is that my imagination is probably worse than the real thing, but it doesn't seem to help. | I have a vivid imagination and I know details about my girlfriend's sex life before me. I'm worried that it's going to drag us both down. |
t3_24ar10 | travel | Traveling to Germany, my first time overseas. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated! | Guten Tag, Redditors!
I'm traveling to Germany in September for a wedding in Heilbronn. My friends and I are beer lovers, so we will obviously be going to Munich for Oktoberfest, but I'm looking for some other (relatively close) places to visit.
Unfortunately, I will only be staying for a couple of weeks. I realize this is not a lot of time, but help me get the most out of this experience! What should I see, hear, taste in Germany and neighboring countries (Austria, CR, Switzerland, etc.)? Would love to see the Alps, where is the best place to do so? Any traveling advice would also be helpful.
Prost! | Places to see, things to do in/near southern Germany |
t3_10njyf | AskReddit | I suppose the implied friendzone was not clear enough | (ok. first time posting so honestly, not sure if this even works. if you're reading this, good!) background: guy (m 17) and myself (f16) been best friends for about 2 years, we are on opposite ends of the relationship compatibility spectrum. thats sugar coating for me being completely out of his league. for example, weekend nights im either at a football game or hanging out whereas he would be at home reading about England's stock market. despite that, we have tons in common and the same sense of humor.
dilemma -he likes me and i didnt realize this until a good bit after he asked me to an upcoming dance. i assumed our friendship/ social differences was beyond a doubt enough to "friendzone" him, as i automatically thought that he was asking as friends.
He wasnt.
however, i already had agreed to his invite but i dont like leading him on. Id hate to cancel things if he already bought my ticket . so after the dance im thinking about approaching him on the subjct. Any nice way to strongly suggest he give himself some space from me ? And is there any way to not be "that friendzoning bitch" or is that inevitable?
this sucks. help much appreciated. | best friend asks me to a dance, i say yes (assuming its as friends), find out he actually likes me, dont want to lead him on. nice way to cut things? |
t3_cgwh9 | AskReddit | I was just dropped from my university, what should I do now? | So I just got dropped from a Cal-State college for consistently poor grades. Most of my bad grades were due to pure apathy. What good grades I did get were in classes that required no effort. I'm a smart guy, I just can't get myself to care about school.
Now that I've been dropped, I feel this sense of freedom and opportunity I haven't felt before. I've pretty much decided that I'm not going straight back to school. I may do it one day, but that's years in the future.
So my question for you, Reddit, is what opportunities are there for me around the world where I could work, volunteer, and make a difference? I know there's the Peace Corps, but what other things could I do? The world is at my feet. | Fuck school, I want to work/volunteer around the world. |
t3_3lnmae | relationships | I (18m) broke up with gf (17f) for over a year she doesnt remember because overdose painkillers. NEED HELP!! | So My (ex?)gf and i have been arguing for the last couple of months And yesterday it got to the point where I completely went off and went home thinking we ended the relationship.
When home, she called me saying she would kill herself And it's all because of me. I was going crazy at this point And took the bus to her home again. On my way there, i received a text from her best friend that she took an overdose of painkillers and was and that she was in the hospital.
Today, one day later she doesnt know anything about what happened And i woke up to a very sweet text from her and i dont know what to do because i think i cant do this anymore and im seeing her in like an hour.. I need help fast.. | broke up with gf, she doesnt remember because of overdose painkillers, sseing her in an hour. |
t3_2gu0r0 | relationship_advice | Was I [24F] being passive agressive towards my bf a [26M] of 1 year? | Hi, I just want some outside help because it seems like we both are confused and have trouble sorting out our feelings.
So the bf and I are texting each other. I mentioned that Im crammed with work so I asked if he could research for our trip together. He said nicely that it looks like we both are busy so why not do it together this Saturday.
This was my reply: " Why dont we plan it out on Sunday when we're already watching tv?
I wanna go on a nice date with you on Saturday since we havent done that in ages. Id be nice to spend some time together"
He seemed cool with that but when we are together he mentioned that he had an issue with that statement because the phrase "in ages" seemed passive agressive because ive mentioned in the past about going on dates together and he thought he took me on a date 2 weeks by going to dinner together.
I told him that I imagined dates as doing an activity together since we eat dinner together a lot anyway and it's not unusual for us to eat out a lot. I'm trying to understand where he is coming from but I'm having trouble. To me, I was trying to express that I wanted to go out together and I honestly didn't have any negative feelings in my reply.
What are your thoughts? | I used the the phrase "in ages" did it come off as being passive aggressive? |
t3_2ht9dx | relationships | Me [22M] is no longer friends with old close friend [22M] after finding out he cheated on one of my best friends [21F]. | So a little about the history between all of us. We all became good friends roughly a year ago, my friend, we'll call him B, has become one of my closest friends throughout the past semester/summer. He's always here to hang out with me, to talk, chill, and just there for me. I always thought he was a pretty stand up guy, but there have been a couple fights between us because of my ex. I've always thought there might be something wrong/manipulative etc.
Last semester, he started dating one of our mutual friends, we'll call her S, to keep this anonymous, and she has been a very close friend of mine, helping me with many things in life and been there for me always. Well B and S seemed like a really good couple, i liked both of them and they were always fun to be around, they seemed to be pretty close.
____________________
Now after this semester began, i was told by another mutual friend, we'll call her H, that she has slept with B while he was still dating S. H is a pretty good friend of mine, but i never would have thought that he would have cheated on S especially with a mutual friend, and he also lied about all of this, keeping it secret for several months.
I eventually told S about this **AFTER** they broke up, she said she needed the truth and i am not gonna hold something from her. She deserves the truth in my opinion.
B became extremely upset i told her, accused me of trying to start drama etc. That secrets were supposed to be kept, even though he wasnt the one who told me, H had to tell me.
B hates me now, but i feel like there were ways i coulda handled it better, i was told i shoulda let H tell S herself.
Did i do the right thing? What was probably most optimal way of handling the situation? | Old close friend cheated on one of my best friends, lied to me about it, i found out and told her, after they broke up already, he gets mad at me, he doesnt want to be friends anymore. Did i do the right thing? |
t3_4ubpcr | tifu | TIFU by dropping my laptop on my face | About 3 weeks ago I was in laying in my bed at about 9:30pm at night, chilling with some Netflix, when I became tired of staring sideways at my laptop. So, because I'm lazy, I decided to hold it above my face so I could comfortably lay back and watch. Unfortunately, my arms became tired and I lost my grip on the laptop. The metal lip of this usually light-weight machine suddenly turned into a missile headed straight for my face. After it rebounded from my eyebrow and landed on the bed, I reached up to survey the damage. When my finger came away wet, I excitedly ran down stairs to inform my family of my stupidity. My dad, who is a ski patroller and therefore trained in the art of first aid, freaked out when he saw the small gash in my eyebrow, and began to try and apply butterfly bandages to hold it together. They were unsuccessful. My dad, again in his lovely fatherly concern, insisted he take me to the E.R. to get it checked out, because he didn't want my eyebrow to look weird when it scarred. After explaining the situation to three different nurses, waiting for almost two hours, and listening to the lady next to me get a rectal exam, a doctor put in three tiny stitches. To top it off, I had to come back three days early from my family's vacation just so I could get the stitches taken out, all because of my father's concern for my eyebrow. | dropped my laptop on my face, my dad made me get stitches , missed my vacation |
t3_1qosc1 | relationships | My GF (F24) of 4 years broke it off with me (M24) saying the spark has gone... What do I do now? | My GF and I have been dating for 4 years. We've recently hit a rough patch after moving in together. She broke it off with me a week ago saying that the spark has gone. She says she could still marry me, settle down and have kids, but she's too young at the moment.
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I'm willing to make some changes, we never really dated - went straight from friends into married life. It was all quite quick. As a result, we lived in each others pockets, neglected our friends and our own individuality in a sense.
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She said she wants to be there for me 'during this'. She wants to still remain friends. We're still somewhat talking, although I've been trying to give her space and not instigate things over text message. How much time should I give her before sending her a quick 'hey, how you going?' kind of message? My ultimate goal is to bring the spark back. I want to be more spontaneous. Send her random flowers to work with a little message. I want to take salsa classes together (she loves dancing - something I don't, but willing to do for us). I want to send her secret messages asking her on dates etc. Basically, I know what I want to do, but not how to approach it.
At the moment we haven't spoken for 4 days. This may not seem like a lot for some people, but we spoke continously all the time. As soon as we finished work, we'd call each other and discuss our day(s). We spent so much time together, and I just miss her to pieces. Even as friends (we were friends before we were dating/'married'), we'd speak pretty much every day, or every 2nd day. Any advice would be great - I don't know what to do :<. I'm scared of losing her for good. I'm scared of not going back to what we had. I'm scared of not being able to mend things. | GF of 4 years broke it off with me - says the spark has gone. I want to try and bring it back, how long do I wait before approaching her? |
t3_263kje | relationship_advice | I [27/m] have feelings for my best friend. Don't know what to do with her [25/f] | I met her through work about six months ago. I no longer work there, but we live in the same town. We have a great deal in common and get along really great.
Our relationship has been getting progressively more physical in nature. The other night we danced together at the bar, held each other close, and confessed how much we missed each other. ( I work two to three weeks at a time). I hate to sound like a teenager, but extended hugs and constant hand holding doesn't happen to regular guy friends. At least not to me. Last night I came so close to telling her how I felt, but I didn't believe that confessing my feelings for her on the way home from the bar was very appropriate.
My only concern is of course that she does not feel the same way. I don't want to ruin a good friendship. Maybe shes just really nice? I don't know. She didn't mind me wrapping my arms around her all night
This woman is incredible. I would be a fool to let this one slip away, so I'm not going to. Tomorrow I'm going to tell her how I feel before my flight to Europe. I just want some support and /or personal relevant experience. | I have strong feelings for my best friend. I don't know how she feels. We are very physical if we have any drinks. |
t3_2apbib | AskReddit | Who would make a more successful AMA than Obama? | So I am fairly new to reddit, and I just found out yesterday that Obama has made an AMA some time ago. This truly impressed me and made me realize how big reddit actually is despite being quite unknown to those who don't use it. So my question is, do you think there is ANYONE in this world who could make a more successful AMA (as in, more upvotes/comments) than Obama?
(Gotta admit I kinda stole this question from /u/SamWilber as he posted it directly after the AMA as I found out when I searched for "Obama", but he didn't get too much attention and the question left me restless.) | TITLE |
t3_24jcpy | relationships | My SO [26M] and I [26F] are giving it another shot. How do we not screw it up again? | My SO and I were together for 3.5 years when we very suddenly split in December. It was his decision and I was devastated. Over the last few months we've been talking a lot and yesterday decided to give it another shot. Our biggest issue was communication, no doubt. I love this man with everything I have and while I know I can lose him again, life is better when he's apart of it.
I've spent a lot of time since the split working on myself and he's done the same but I'm still concerned with our communication styles. I tend to be very forceful and dominant and he's more passive. I lay everything out and he bottles. While we've both gotten better, I want us to be great. How to we work together as a team with such different communication styles? | My SO and I have totally different communication styles. He keeps everything in. I definitely do not. How do we communicate better the second time around? |
t3_20r38b | relationships | Me [20 M] with my crush [20 F]: wondering if I should ask her out but my situation is...unique. | So I know this sounds like another one of those "should I ask her out" posts where the answer should be "YES DUMBASS" but just bear with me for a second. In December 2012, I was friends with this girl. Let's call her Kate. It was sophomore year of college and the semester had just ended. Kate and I had been casual acquaintances, but she posted a status about something I was interested in and I messaged her on Facebook to tell her how funny I found it along with a link to follow up on the subject (rather than spam her status). She responded and well...it sort of spiralled into a 15 month conversation about anything and everything.
Now when I say 15 months, bear in mind, I haven't seen this girl since December 2012. We keep missing each other due to study abroad programs, internships, summer classes, etc (we're on the quarter system). And like, I don't know what to do now because I sort of have feelings for her and when she was in Europe in the fall, she would send me messages I would get the next morning when I woke up and honestly, getting a message from her was the best part of my day. We click so well and I'm finally going to see her in a few weeks after such a long, long time. But...I don't know if I should ask her out or when because this has been mainly an electronic-based relationship for that long. And I don't want her to think I was friends with her just to get into her pants which is not the case at all but I can't ignore what I feel and I don't know what to do. Sorry for the rambling but any advice would be appreciated. She also invited me to a wedding if that means anything... | Not sure if I should go for it? Do I wait? I'm seriously at a loss here. |
t3_3ftfzl | relationships | My GF [21F] belittles me [21M]. | I understand that my what I am facing is minuscule as compared to everyone else here but I need some advice. My SO always belittles me. She scolds me like a child, she always vents her anger at me, screaming and shouting. She interrupts whenever I talk and she always has to be right. She can't even answer a "yes or no" question without defending herself which she defines as "justifying her feelings". She's highly melodramatic, just last night I was trying this new app, a snapchat copy but you can't delete what you post which records only 4 seconds. She started raising her voice and shouting at me in public just cause she appeared it it for less than a second. Her reasoning was "she was scared strangers would molest and kill her". I really don't know what else to do, I've noticed that it's only with me she's that way, I've asked her once and her reasoning was she is only able to share her feelings with me. She claims that her shouting cannot be controlled only with me. This has been a persistent problem and been going on for as long as I can remember, probably even before we were together.
Sorry for formatting, I'm on mobile. Sorry for grammar, I'm too distraught. Sorry for the long and what seems to be minuscule post, I don't know what else to do. | GF scolds, scream at shout at me for little things or me not being the cause, she can't be reasoned with |
t3_2agfso | tifu | TIFU By Not Noticing a Bag of Dog Shit. | So I work landscaping for the State full time during the summer and can spend up to 6 hours a day on a weed whacker. For me to get through a day like this I just simply allow my mind to wander off and think about whatever (today's topic was the ending of Game of Thrones...pretty sure I nailed it.) Anyways, it was one of those endless weed whacking type of days. I was tasked with hitting this mile long trail that is used by people on nice days and many bring their dogs. So about half way through I get to the focal point, a fountain, and I am weed whacking around and under an elevated trashcan. All of the sudden some mud flies up in my face and arms. I stop because I need to wipe it off my goggles. At this point I begin to realize that the mud smells pretty damn bad. I look down under the trash and see i hit a green plastic bag....I look closer and see it has an image of a bone on it...a little closer and see it is filled with brown stuff...its a bag of Dog Shit. In my daze I hit a bag of dog shit and covered myself in it. At that point I said to myself "Fuck this job, I'm quitting." Obviously that was just me being a bitch and reacting poorly, because I got over it. But luckily by the fountain there was a hose spigot where I went and washed my hands and face. The worst part was explaining to my co-workers why it smelt like shit when I got in the truck. | Zoned out while weed whacking at work, hit a bag of dog shit and covered myself in it...still finished out the day. |
t3_2d27zx | relationships | Me [20 M] with my former fling [18 M/F] 1 month, she still calls me. | We had a whirlwind of a romance, connected emotionally before physically. She came onto me and made most of the first moves in the initial stages of meeting. We had tons of intimate conversations about her life and problems, as well as mine. I know much of her family history, and our sex was great and passionate.
Well, with her family problems she became more irritated with life, eventually lashing out at me for no reasons at all. She had major jealousy issues, I hung out with one of her gay best friends and she accused me of letting him give me a blowjob. Twice. She's the first girl where sex hasn't just been about an orgasm, I felt connected to her on a deeper level. I allowed myself to become attached, which I never do. We ended things on bad terms, she told me to have fun with her gay best friend because "You obviously found something in him you didn't see in me". I am now close friends with that gay friend of hers, and I think she's still jealous, as they are no longer friends.
It's been about 2 weeks since we've ended things, and through mutual connections I've come to find out she has a new man in her life, who she's apparently very into. We haven't talked in a week, but out of the blue she called me twice. I didn't answer, I didn't want to argue. I've decided to go no contact, but it makes me curious why she still calls. | Whirlwind romance, family problems ensue, we end things badly, she finds a new man, and continues to call me. Why would she call me if she has a new man already? |
t3_44pem1 | relationships | My husband [35 M] admitted that he frequently fantasizes about me [26 F] dying so he could live the bachelor life again | Me and my husband have been married for 3 years. Last night, we were lying awake in bed, talking. We both admitted that sometimes, we think about how our lives would be if the other died. I said I think about travelling the world and he said he thinks about living the bachelor life again (short term relationships, no commitment etc).
I wasn't offended til then. I'd myself admitted that the thought crossed my mind sometimes. It was completely normal. But what really shocked me was when I asked how frequently the thought crossed his mind.
For me, this type of thought comes maybe once in 3 or 4 months. He said he thinks about it every week or so. Sometimes every 2 weeks. That really hurt me.
When he saw that I was upset, he said I was taking it too literally and that every week was just an approximate. But I'm still pretty upset. How can you live with someone who fantasizes about you dying EVERY WEEK? Isn't that too much? | Husband admitted he frequently fantasizes about me dying so he could live the bachelor life again |
t3_4mbjc5 | relationships | I [24 M] seem to get attached to girls too easily and now I'm confused as to when I should hit them up | When I have a great night with a girl, I automatically want to hang out with them the next day but the problem is that it can come off as clingy which I do not want to be. People have told me that I should talk/text/call them whenever I feel like it but because I had a great time with them, it's usually me being the one to initiate the talk/text/call. I suppose I never give girls time to want to hit me up because I always do it first. Now it's just confusing me. Had a great night with a girl yesterday and the whole day today, I wasn't sure if I should hit her up or give it some time. And now I'm wondering when would be a good time to hit her up next. Honestly, I just want to be me and if I feel like I want to text/call them, then I much rather just do that. But so far that hasn't been working for me haha My friends say that I rush it and I agree. How do I stop? | After a great night with a girl, I'll immediately want to hang out with them consecutively. How can I stop myself from trying to rush things? |
t3_4s00gf | relationships | I [21M] am getting feelings for my coworker [21F] while in a 3 year relationship with my first girlfriend [22M]. | Just some background: I started dating my current girlfriend in highschool and it's been going great with a few ups and downs but nothing that would make me say that this relationship is going downhill. Keep in mind that this is also my first relationship. I recently got a new job and met this girl. We really connect and can go on talking for hours about everything and anything. As of late, I can't stop thinking about her and it kills me knowing that I'm in a relationship with a girl that I already love.
I'm not too sure how to classify it. Maybe what I have with my co-worker is just infatuation or the result of only having had one relationship (my current) in my life. I don't know what to do from here because I can't get my coworker out of my thoughts (not physical attraction really). If I didn't meet my current girlfriend I can definitely see myself going for this girl.
What should I do now? If I should be validating my relationship to dispel my thoughts about the coworker, how should I do it? | met coworker that I could see a future with while being in a 3 year relationship. Not sure what to do from here on. |
t3_snx70 | AskReddit | What weird things have you seen people do in public? | When I was at the library I was waiting behind a guy at one of those machines where you return books.
The guy put a book in the machine and everything went fine.
Then he put another book in the machine and it told him that he needed to wait a few seconds before putting more books in.
He turned the book around and tried again and it worked since he had waited a few seconds.
Then he did this for like five other books and when he was done the machince asked him if he wanted a reciept, he pressed yes and then threw it away.
I was like, maybe he can't read?
But then remembered that I was standing in a library. | Stood behind a guy in the library that couldn't read, threw away a reciept that he could've chosen not to recieve. |
t3_yupy6 | AskReddit | I have a lisp so a lot of the time people mistake what I say and it gets awkward fast. Reddit, what similar situations have you been in? | I was trying to get to know my boss at my new job. So I stereotyped the guy and thought of an interest we would both have that we could further discuss and just the usual small talk. I said I liked fishing. Now, with my lisp I didn't really consider what he would of sounded like to him. His face dropped, he was speechless and it got awkward very fast. I thought he didn't understand me, so without thinking into it I kept saying "Fishing.. You know fishing.." it wasn't till I made hand actions that he told me he had misheard me. I blankly stared at him and said "fishing.. What else can fishing sound like? Fishing.. Fishing. Oh.." Moral of the story: Don't make small talk if you have a lisp. | my boss misheard me because I have a lisp. He thought I said I like fisting, when all I was trying to say was fishing. |
t3_1agzdq | AskReddit | Lost my wallet, what should I do beyond the obvious? | My wallet fell out of my pocket last night in a taxi and I didn't notice until I got up to my apartment. I don't have the cab number and the company doesn't track by drop-off location, only by pick-up, which was at an area of town with several bars. At the time, most of their cabs were there, so there's no way to track that.
I've canceled my credit and check/debit cards (after they were both used at a Thornton's gas station and for Red Box movies - wild night for the thief, right?). I have also contacted TransUnion and put an alert for any credit report that may be run on my name/social.
The biggest issue is that I had my Social Security card in my wallet (huge mistake, I know). Based on the purchases, I don't think I'm dealing with a master criminal, but you never know.
What else should I do to protect myself? I figure this could also help others to know what to do beyond the obvious canceling of cards. | Lost my wallet/had it stolen, purchases were made. |
t3_3fozpr | relationships | My (36M) best friend(?)(25F) got a boyfriend and left me alone | I've known her for about 8 years but we really got close in the past year or so. To the point that we were talking ask day every day ... gchatting at work and sometimes video chats in the evenings. There was a definite flirty aspect and we did send some sexts, but that wasn't the core of the relationship, or so I thought. The core was that we were there for each other. I could tell her anything without her judging me and she was the same. I was there for her more than she for me, but I thought it was mutual. Then she met her boyfriend.
He is her first real boyfriend, and when they got together, she disappeared. No more talking during the day. No more talking at night. Now she's busy all the time. I feel abandoned.
She was the one that I talked to about everything, including my many problems with my wife. I've realized that I have no one else that I can talk to. And no, my wife is not that person - we long ago determined that i'm in an abusive relationship.
Now I feel empty. I have no one to really talk to. The person that I'd tell this all to is gone. I told her how I felt and no real change ... I don't think we were understanding each other. I just don't know what to do. My instinct is to try talking to her but I feel that's wrong. But I also wonder if maybe I greatly misunderstood our relationship. Maybe I was just a place holder for her? | Maybe best friend got a boyfriend now we never talk anymore. I miss her and feel empty. |
t3_3ur5ca | relationships | sold car that was a gift from dad's ex wife to buy a more practical car - now she is pissed | My dad divorced his ex wife about 7 years ago, but part of their settlement agreement was that he would allow her to keep her job in his company. I also work there. In the divorce, she got an old beat up 80's mercedes. It was a cool car, but needed a lot of work. I saw it was for sale on kijiji so I asked her about it at the office - she offered to sell it to me for 2500, which I agreed. Then a day later she changed her mind an said you can just have the car.
I got the car, paid the taxes/title etc ($1200) and another $1000 in parts to get it safetied and fix a window motor and some other little things.
Fast forward a year, and at this point the car is in need of brakes, the suspension is completely shot and the car rides like shit. It also was starting to get pretty sketchy when starting. There is some rust on the car as well on the outside body panels and more underneath the carpets etc. I take it to the mechanic and he tells me I need to put another 7-8k into the car to get it riding properly with a new suspension, new brakes, etc. I decide to just sell the car and fund the purchase of a more practical used car that I can drive all year round (this was a 2 door convertible that leaked water).
Now fast forward ANOTHER year and she has been bitching to everyone that will listen that I sold the car, and keeps confronting me about it. As far as I am concerned, this was a gift, and me selling it after a year of use is my business. Not to mention she never even bought this car or gave a shit about it, it was a project my dad bought but never got around to it an she just happened to get it in the divorce.
Am I in the wrong for selling it to buy a more practical car? How do you deal with selling gifts when the giver flips out about it? | dad ex wife of 7 years |
t3_52bvad | personalfinance | (CAN)15 year old Investment Strategies | Hello I am a 15 year old and am looking for a good investment strategy. I have 1100 CAD in the bank and I am looking to invest about 100-300 dollars. I have heard that mutual funds have high returns. However index funds seem safer. But some people suggest just directly investing in the stock market but that seems to unsafe and expensive. I have been looking in the schwab index fund due to its minimum investment of $100. I am potentially looking forward to a fund that will be around for until maybe after university so maybe 6-7 year long. But this could continue to be a long term investment. | Index Funds vs Mutual Funds vs Stock Market with 100-300 Canadian |
t3_1k26hu | AskReddit | What was the most ridiculous reason that you or someone you know has had an outburst of anger for? | I thought of this during work today. A little backstory first. I carpool to work with a girl named "Shelby". She drives a really nice new Camaro. Shelby and I are pretty good friends. I was having a conversation with another coworker, "Latisha" and she asked about the car and then stated that if it was her car, she would be driving 100mph all of the time. Then she asked if "Shelby" drove fast like that. I said "Not really, she drives kinda slow." Then, "Shelby" walked into the room, and "Latisha" said "Ooooh girl, guywhomeows said you be drivin slow." (Yes, she is very ghetto). All of the sudden, Shelby slams her fist on the table, and says "WHY ARE YOU TELLING PEOPLE I DRIVE SLOW, what the fuck is your problem, guywhomeows?!" I just stood there confused thinking it was a lame joke, and then she kept screaming, teared up, and left me at work to "find my own fucking ride". I had to walk. 5 miles. In a light drizzle. | Makes comment about the speed in which coworker who takes me to work drives, gets bitched at, and I had to walk my ass home. In rain. |
t3_4q7b40 | personalfinance | Claimed 1 on my W-4, still losing lots of money | hi reddit,
So i'm a 20 y/o college student working a summer job making $10.50 an hour, 40 hours a week. I get paid bi-weekly, which is annoying enough, but I noticed after my first check that I'm losing roughly $100 from each paycheck due to federal income tax, MA state income tax, Medicare, and social security. Did I do something wrong? the internet and my peers alike led me to believe that claiming a "1" on my w-4 would result in the lowest amount possible being taken out of my checks (resulting in a lower tax return), but this seems to be the complete opposite. My girlfriend, 21, works a different job and put a 0 on her w4. I looked at her pay stub. Federal income tax: $0. MA State income tax: $0.
what gives? did i fuck my shit up here? is there anything i can do to fix this? why don't they teach us this shit in school? | Claimed 1 thinking it would get me more money in my paycheck up front, but that doesn't seem to be the case |
t3_2ulvjp | relationships | Me [21M] with my friend? [20 M/F] 'saw eachother' less than a month after being friends, then things got fucky. | So here's the deal. Me and this girl, just about my best friend, end up both magically liking each other at the end of last spring/early summer and have a little fling for a bit. This is also just after her pretty drawn out break-up with a guy she was in a relationship with for about 3 years. As I go home for the summer (college love, so nice) we make plans to visit etc etc. She ends things with me, gets back together with old boyfriend.
Go back to school, I don't really want to talk to her, it's just hard. We talk for a bit, awkwardly hang out when our friend groups collide, she comes over to try and talk things out every now and then. She's in an open relationship and is bisexual and confused about what she wants in general and still likes me. I still have feelings for her, but pretty much just nod along and get her to stop talking.
I go home for xmas break, realize that I at least want to be friends with her, tell her via drunken messaging. She wants to be friends as well, lovely. However, I am a bit head over heels for this one, and she also reciprocates feeling but also wants to 'experience being single' and whatnot, not being sure if she can commit to relationshippy thing that I want. She seems interested in something with me but acts tentative about the whole thing. Should I press her more or let her come to a decision in her own time? Her reasoning for not is that she doesn't want to hurt me.
Also, i'm not the best at communicating feelings, and I really don't know how to handle this or what to say to get my feelings for her across. | girl and i were together for a hot minute, now we're not and some trepidation on her end on what she wants to do. What would you do if you were in my shoes? |
t3_3p2xjd | relationships | I [20M] need help drawing her [21F] out of her shell. | So, we work together, and have been flirting for a while. I felt like there was something there, and asked her out on a date, but we ended up sleeping together this week before we even went on an actual date.
We had talked, and both said we like each other, and decided to give it a go, but she's got some pretty heavy emotional baggage. After what she's told me, I completely understand why she's so, skiddish, I guess would be an apt term. I don't mind, I'm just not used to it, and so I'm a little unsure how to draw her out.
We primarily see each other at work, just because of our schedules. | title. |
t3_1hlm5y | dogs | Why are my dogs suddenly picky eaters? | I have two dogs that have been very regular eaters for years. Theyve been eating pedigree canned food and pedigree healthy weight dry food twice a day for well over a year. Starting about a month ago, they started turning their noses up at their food. We changed to Alpo, and they were a little better about eating, but they would never finish a bowl. The same through other brands and flavors. If I make chicken and rice and mix it with their kibble, they house it all down as fast as they can.
Last week, our one dog got sick and wouldnt eat at all. She has to take medicine with food, so that was really problematic. We've also given her her pills in Velveeta for years, and last week she decided that she didnt like Velveeta any more. That has yet to change.
What could have changed to make such a change? Should I be worried? There aren't any other behqvior changes that Ive noticed, and Ive stayed home the past two days to watch her. | former garbage disposal suddenly becomes picky eater and doesnt like previously favorite foods. |
t3_3t95tx | relationships | Getting married at 18? | Hey guys,
My name is Dave and I'm currently dating the love of my life Jeff. I am 17 while he is 18. We first met my freshman year and have been in a relationship since my sophomore year. We're one of those couples that everyone knows is going to end up together. We didn't even need to tell people we were dating, people already knew by the connection we shared with each other
We are both guys and I personally feel that gay relationships can be more meaningful than heterosexual ones because for gays we have to dig deep to find someone who will love us back. I'm so lucky to find my other half at such a young age and a time of my life where I need him the most. We have a very mature relationship and understand that couples don't always need to be together and we're both happy to do separate things as long as we end the night saying I love you to each other.
We both want to get married when I turn 18 because we know that our relationship will last. We have experienced many rocky edges in our relationship, but have always managed to come out stronger. We want forever to begin as soon as possible. We would just have the legal side of our wedding be done when I turn 18 and save the actual vows and such for after we both graduate college. We just want it to be the 2 of us reaffirming our love to each other. We have thought through what we both want out of life and have agreed on what our futures will look like.
Do you guys have any advice or warnings for us that you know either from experience, or just know from how life usually turns out. I would love to hear what you guys think about this decision. | my boyfriend and I want to get married when I turn 18. What advice do you have for us? |
t3_3jjt5h | tifu | TIFU by possibly interrupting a Bang Bros filming and maybe coming out in the background of one of their films | Throwaway because I don't want to make it too easy to track me down.
Backstory: I work on the same street as bangbros in Miami, FL. I know this because one day while watching one of those videos I saw the [address] and realized "holy shit, they're my neighbor". They have a pretty bland generic looking office building and honestly you could never tell what it was.
Anyways, I was working and I went outside to get something in my car. I noticed a very very white looking girl riding a bicycle. This is in an extremely industrial area - you'll find mostly darker skin men working here driving big trucks. A white girl in a bicycle is VERY out of place. Then I saw a very sketchy looking van come out of no where. The girl threw the bike in front of the van and they ran it over a few times.
Illegal dumping has been a big issue for us lately (just last week we received a ticket from the county because someone dumped their shit on our property) so I confronted the girl and told her "if you don't pick up the bike, I'm calling the police. I already got your plate" She said something like "its fine, we're just filming something". That's when I noticed the guy with a HUGE camera in the passenger door. They did a few more takes, I stood back thinking wtf, I'm going to end up on youtube later. They opened the van, threw the bike in there, and sped off. When I saw the inside of the van, that's when it hit me, holy shit that's the bangbus! | i might be a background extra on bangbus. Sorry guys for interrupting your film and threatening to call the cops on you guys. But please make sure I don't come out - I was wearing an orange shirt. |
t3_1ay9gg | relationships | I (20F) am in love with and sleeping with my friend's boyfriend (21M) | so already i've painted myself as something of a 'bad person'. anyway, i'm all sorts of turned around in regards to this. my feelings all started about six months ago. i was struck quickly by the fact that i had romantic feelings for him and was summarily disgusted by how i felt, and felt as though i was betraying my friend. cut to january. she goes back to her home town for eighteen months to take a break before she goes back to school, and her boyfriend and i are still in the same city.
i've always felt really comfortable with him and we always just tended to get along with each other. so we started hanging out essentially every day, just kinda spending our time together rather than so much 'hanging out'. then about a month ago he presented the idea of sleeping together. i'd spent this entire time trying to suppress my feelings but i'd been fantasizing about this happening for months so i ended up doing it.
we established in the beginning that this was just for fun and he wasn't going to break up with his girlfriend or anything since they've been together for three years and had more or less 'settled down' in a sense. and after a while of talking and sleeping together he admitted that if things were different then we'd be a couple. and i thought this would make me happy, knowing that he feels that way about me. but again, he won't be leaving his girlfriend. i don't want to end it, because i'm enjoying it too much and i've never felt more comfortable than when i'm laying in his arms. but at the same time i have to accept that this is only going to end in heartbreak for me. i also care a lot about my friend and their relationship a lot which is why i want to keep this so secret.
so what do i do? i don't want to end it, but i'm also sick of having him on my mind all the time when we aren't even dating. | sleeping with friend's boyfriend, also in love with him, he won't break up with his girlfriend. i don't want them to break up, but i also want to be with him myself. what should i do? |
t3_zy81q | AskReddit | Dear AskReddit, I am at risk of losing my state scholarship award because over an obscure rule in the fine print, do you have any advice? | So I'm currently in my fourth semester at community college in Tennessee. I've been receiving the state scholarship since I've been here and have been doing really well. However, this semester an issue came up when I was reapplying for said scholarship. I took a year off between High School and College, but since I graduated from high school a year early, my mother had me taking classes (just 1 for starters) at a different community college as part of an agreement, starting in the fall after I graduated. However, the following spring semester, I stopped attending because I had been working a lot and didn't really see the point of it at the time. Then in the fall semester after that I decided to commit to taking classes full time at my current school and that was a year ago.
Now all of the sudden the financial aid office at my school is telling me that since I took that one class after graduating high school, and then technically "dropped out" the next semester, even though I was neither a full time student, nor receiving financial aid, I am technically ineligible for the state scholarship that I have been receiving for 3 semesters. The way around it is to go to the other school I went to and get a leave of absence, which has to go through an appeals process, and if it is approved then I can get the scholarship. The obvious problem with doing this is that my absence was not due to some serious problem in my life, and therefore I have no documentation that would support such a claim. As far as I know applying an appeal is my only option. I am not sure how strict they are in the appeals process. I want be careful about not getting into any sort of trouble, but I'm probably going to need to do some lying, or at least heavy exaggerating to win the appeal. I'm wondering just how careful I should be about this, and if anyone has been in a similar situation and might know of any other options I have. | I am getting the state scholarship taken away from me my sophomore year over some fine-print BS, only way to continue getting it is to do some lying. :( |
t3_vk8a4 | self | Reddit, she's gone, it's late, I'm down. Cheer me up? | Backstory: I have been dating a wonderful girl for two and a half years. We started dating pretty quickly after I came to college as a freshman, and we are literally a few days away from our 2.5 year anniversary. This morning, she walked into my room, and told me that "we made better friends" and then returned my things and left. This is actually the first time a girl has ever broken up with me, and I'm absolutely wrecked.
Oh, I should mentioned that I've been diagnosed depressed at the beginning of this summer, so this is the icing on my shit cake here.
I don't really want tough love or anything of the kind. I'm just hoping for witty anecdotes or funny pictures, or whatever cheers you up when you feel like anything and everything is going wrong. | Girlfriend broke up with me, post funny/clever things to cheer me up please? |
t3_3e0g4v | relationships | [25M] with [26F] - we've been together 5 years this month, are both poly, have slept with other people and are super in love and pretty darn happy. How do I explain this to family? | Our relationship is not perfect - we've argued (and flipped a lot of coins) about who does what chores, I've supported her financially, and she's supported me financially, and we've come through it super close, tight-knit and deeply in love. The relationship's really in a great place, and we're always working to improve it!
And we're poly - if we want to be with other people emotionally or sexually, as long as it doesn't make anyone feel bad, and everyone knows what's going on, and proper safety precautions are taken, and etc. etc, we can. And we have - and it's been very fun! But nobody knows about it, family-wise. We live far from our families, and they're always asking when we'll get married, have kids, things we don't plan to do for a while, if ever. Marriage is unnecessary financially, and would make polyamory and our finances legally messy in the case of breaking up with each other (unlikely in my opinion, but always good to be safe)
So how do I explain this to a family that's got deep southern Christian roots? That I sleep with other girls, she sleeps with other guys, and we're both fine with it? Or should I just never bother talking to them about it? I want them to stop bothering me about my future plans with her, but I can't really do that unless I explain this, and I'm afraid of the backlash, and I don't feel like I have a good way to explain it, and it worries me. I love them, but they're fucking idiots, bigots and stubborn asses. That I love. Family. Blah. | Family's religious, girl and I are not, and not sure if it's ever right to talk about polyamory with our respective families. Also, I don't know how common polyamory is, so ask me anything about it if you're interested. |
t3_pibk4 | travel | Why do you travel? Who do meet and what do you see? | Hey r/travel,
It is my first time on r/travel. Excuse me if I break etiquette.
I have lived on 3 continents and 4 cities from when I was 3 years old to 13 year old. After about 7 years in the same area, I have a strong feeling of wanderlust. I could never actually leave though since I have had to help the family and finish up school. However, it seems like my family's issues are resolving and I'll be done with my undergraduate degree next year. Without a reason to stay home, I want to see the world (possibly after grad). I grew up semi-illiterate. I could not truly understand a sentence or finish a book until my second semester of college. After reading more about the world, I cannot say 3 continents is enough. The meeting the people alone seem worth it.
However, I must admit my want to travel is immature. For this reason, I would like to know more the different motivations people have for traveling and how the motivations have changed over time. | Why do you travel and how did your passion start? |
t3_1h4vg9 | relationships | I[18M] don't know how to answer a question my GF[18F] asked me | My girlfriend and I have been together for just about 6 months now, and we are very open with each other. We love each other, and we always talk about any problems, questions, etc. with each other, as long as we're comfortable answering them (which we almost always are). However, the other day I had one of these moments.
First, some background. When I was a kid, my dad was a really bad alcoholic. He'd yell at my 2 sisters and I (one older and one younger, but being the only boy, I always got the worst of it), and it would sometimes get physically abusive (I think years of demeaning comments and getting hit has led me to my anxiety problems and incredibly low self-esteem). When I was in 5th grade, his liver failed and he spent upwards of 2 years in and out of various hospitals, was in a couple of comas, had multiple organ transplants, and was at death's door a few times. Today he's healthy and has made an effort to be a better father, and I never really bring it up or hold it against him (unless we fight). I don't know if I forgave him, but I accept that he's done a lot to be a better person.
So, my girlfriend and I went on a bike ride the other day, and stopped at a park to relax for a bit. We were sitting on the swings talking about a variety of things, and I made a comment about it (she knows the whole story). She then asked why I don't hold it against him, and how I still have a good relationship with him today. I told her I would rather not talk about it, but mostly because I really don't know how to answer her.
I feel like just saying it is how it is would be a bad answer and she would pry into it more, but that's just what I feel. I've not answered this before, so I'm sure it will come up again. Any ideas on how to handle it delicately? | Girlfriend asked me a question about my childhood, but I didn't know how to answer, so I ignored it |
t3_4mhk7m | relationships | Me [22 M] with my close friend [22 F] of 4 years, asked her out, got rejected. We're in the same graduate scheme next year. | Friend [22 F] and I [22 M] are on the same undergraduate masters course and have been good friends since the start. I've never been in a serious relationshio before and I never really looked for romance at university, but in our final year I started to see her differently and developed some feelings for her. However I kept them to myself, but the feelings grew. We also found out that we would be on the same graduate scheme next year.
A few months back I asked her out to lunch alone a few times but I never felt that she saw anything other than platonic friendship. So I finally spelt it out and directly told her I liked her and would she like to go on a date. She put me down gently saying "I value our friendship, but i don't see you that way..." etc...
We've tried to keep the friendship as it once. I tried ignoring what I felt but seeing her still hurts and I think about her quite a lot. Recently I've been trying to avoid her which has been easier due to final exams but I'll definitely see her frequently in the graduate scheme.
Pretty sure I've royally messed up but how should I proceed from now on? Pretend I never asked her out? Or carry on with minimal/no contact? | I asked a close friend out, got rejected, but I see them constantly. Act normal 'til the feelings go away? |
t3_3aafyh | relationships | Me [27M] think I am falling in love with my best friend.[27F]. Need advice. | Hey Reddit,
I hope this post doesn't go ignored because I need all the advice I can get.
I'll get straight to the point: I think I am in love with my best friend.
We've known each other since the 1st grade. She was always a sweet girl, willing to do anything for me. I was the exact same way with her. Other than my mother, there's nobody I'm closer with than her. She knows all of my secrets too.
We've been living together for the past 6 months and things have been great. We hang out pretty much all the time when we're not working.
We both got out of toxic relationships a little over a year ago (we were both cheated on – multiple times). She's also talked a lot about her inability to trust men, considering her dad left her mom when she was 4.
A week ago, we had sex for the first time ever. Mind you we sleep in 2 different beds. But she came home sad from work that day and I just wanted to comfort her. Well you know where this led to, right?
We haven't had a genuine conversation since. Maybe she was freaked out we fucked, considering we've never even talked about it before.
I've been talking to my mom about it (my mom and her mom are best friends as well) and she suggested that I might have feelings for her. I laughed it off at first like most men do when confronted with possibly developing feelings for a female. But I knew she was right.
What should I do guys? I'm planning on talking to her over the weekend about it. I'm genuinely afraid that if she doesn't love me back, our whole friendship becomes awkward, and even might be ruined. We live in the same apartment too, so the awkwardness will be at a crazy level.
Any advice would be helpful, especially advice of people who've dealt with this kind of situation. | Falling in love with best friend. Not sure how to approach it. |
t3_t96bh | AskReddit | What is it that is so intimidating and dehumanising about social groups? | I come from the UK, so there aren't really "cliques". However, we do have something similar, but not to that extent. Sometimes, groups of people with similar interests will hang around with each other. It's alright. However, sometimes these get a little two intense. It's a social group, but it's more like a formal organisation.
I have some male friends that are in one of these social groups and they are all extremely lovely people. However, when in the group, they won't speak to me, they'll only speak to members of the group, if that. I was accepted to be the first female member of the little circle. However, as soon as I was in there, I wasn't myself. I was scared and I wasn't as talkative as I usually was. Scared of making a mistake.
I decided to try and talk to my friends, but the conversation was limited to rather idiotic things, rather than the deep conversations we usually have. They were quiet and still, almost zombie-like. The more dominanting members would take control of conversation. A few people even turned hostile. It was horrible.
I was kicked out after one day. Not that I had too much of a problem with that. I talked to my friends about it. One of them was calm, but said that he was upset that he gets judged so much. My other friend (who I am in love with), he started getting emotional, saying how nobody their appreciates him and he's forced to not be himself. He'd not allowed to talk to me, or else the more dominant ones will try to engage in "friendly banter" and "mild teasing". Last time, this caused tears.
I find the entire things extremely scary, even though it is quite stupid. Why do humans behave like this? Why are some social groups like this? | After being invited into a social group at school, I noticed that no one was themselves and it was really tense. Why are things like this? |
t3_2btq9j | relationships | Me [27 F] with my mom [50 F]. She is cheating on her husband or something. | I feel like I don't even know my own mother anymore. She is currently married and, according to her, in love. She met this man in our home country and she is in the process of bringing him to the United States. I've met him and he's, indeed, a good man (at least it seems to me). Everything seemed fine to me. In her own words, she is deeply in love.
Today I found her basically sexting another man. She sent him pictures of her in lingerie. I snooped, yes. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, what do I do? Do I leave this alone and forget it? I just feel weird towards her now. Like, what a whore right? I don't want to say that of my own mother but if it acts like a duck, quacks like a duck... well you know.
A little history: She is widowed by my father who was basically *her* father because he was controlling and she was basically his bitch (her own fault though, she did not need to stay with him). She's the kind of person who thrives on being a victim I suppose. She basically lives for people to tell her, "oh poor you, you're a saint for putting up with so much". I understand that after being in that kind of toxic relationship, you want to "live your life" but damn. I don't know what to think. Maybe it's none of my business. I'm not sure. | My mother is married and cheating on her husband. Is this even my business? I feel like I don't even know her anymore. |
t3_14rhrh | dating_advice | Had my first date in years last night. Crashed and burned. | Throwaway account. 32m, last relationship lasted 3 years, and it ended 2 years ago. So, I've not dated anyone or even knew anyone to ask out for at least 5 years now.
Fast forward to last night. Met someone (31f) who was pretty cool, and single. Actually, the first girl I've met in 2 years who met both of these requirements. :)
Met up for drinks, and had a pretty good time, I think. We initially had a good time, and we joked/planned future dates and such.
Unfortunately, The problem was that I was so freaking nervous I kept ordering more and more to drink. Thankfully, I'm a pretty benign drunk... I mostly just get really chatty, jabbering away on random topics. It can be amusing to my friends, but on a First Date? No.
It ended okay I think, I mean I didn't even attempt a goodbye hug or kiss, I would never really try that on a first date. Fast forward to today, I send her a quick text this morning early, and it's now been 12 hours and haven't gotten any response back.
I'm convinced that I made a total fool out of myself by getting way too buzzed, and I probably made that old mistake of talking too much and not asking about her enough.
My question is; is there any hope or point in trying to salvage this? Do I apologize to her and ask for a second date? Do I just forget the whole thing as a lesson learned? | Went out on a date for the first time in 5+ years, got nervous and drank too much, probably acted a fool. Do I try to salvage or move on? |
t3_qjbe9 | BreakUps | Riddle me this, reddit | So about a month ago my girlfriend (22) broke up with me (21M) because she had lost attraction to me apparently. For the first a week or so afterwards we continued to hang out and talk but I put that to an end because I needed to move on. Then we go over a week with no contact before she finally breaks down and texts me saying that she probably shouldn't be but she wanted to talk to me. This was late last week.
Since then we've been talking and hanging out a little bit. She had told me previously that when we were dating she was attracted to other guys but then she says just the other night that she isn't looking at any other guys now. Then last night I end up staying the night with her (didn't intend to but that's how it ended up, leave me alone lol). So we start cuddling and one thing leads to another and before I know it, we're fooling around. We're both teasing each other with kisses (touching lips but not actually kissing, seeing who will break first) and she ends up kissing me. Well I manage to turn her on a lot and end up getting her off. All this time she's been feeling me up but never finishes the job because, according to her, she is exhausted. Granted it was 4:30am by this point and she had to work the next day so that makes sense. She said she wanted to but was too tired.
So wtf is going on here? She supposedly lost attraction to me but I still have absolutely no problem turning her on and getting her off. And she apparently still wants to touch me as well. And I don't think she is "using" me because she wants to hang out too. She was the one that asked me to hang out last night and she just texted me now. | Ex girlfriend supposedly lost attraction to me but I can still easily turn her on and get her off. Supposedly she still wants to touch me too. What is going on? |
t3_3xk62s | tifu | Tifu by getting my friend ran over by a tube | So first off this wasn't me but I felt like this story was way to funny to waste.
So once upon a time, about 2 years ago me, friend #1 and friend #2 decided to go tubing (for those in tropical and or have never gone tubing, tubing is basicly getting in a huge tire tube and going speeding down a snow covered hill most of the time at somesort of a skiing resort)
Anyways we were having fun time and just connect our tubes together by join hands, almost like in a triangle, but one run we decided to let go just as we started down the hill.
Me and friend #2 make it down before friend #1 by a fair bit, his tube had a lot more friction causing him to slow basicly to a halt, so friend #2 gets of his tube at the end of the run a throws it into the pile of tubes to be brought back up. Then he noticed that friend #1 wasn't down the hill all the way and decided to pull a mini prank on friend #2, so he planned to put his leg out and stop the tube causing friend #1 to fly off it and land in the snow.
Well it didn't work out like this, friend #2 raised his foot and misses the tube all together and ends up kicking friend #1 in the face in the freezing cold, for whom ever doesn't know hurts a metric shit ton, so friend #1 who is seeing stars and laying on the ground lays there for a few seconds. When all of a sudden a group of around 5 girls come flying down the run at moch 5 and run over him, around like three of the 5 tubes went over him.
In the end he was ok though, besides the bruse on his face and being freezing cold and friend #2 feeling like an asshole. | friend #2 kicked tube out from under friend #1 but kicked him in the face then he got ran over by three oether tubes. |
t3_3vqnua | relationships | Me [29M] and my girlfriend of 3 years [24f] are close to common law and she is threatening suicide if we ever break up. | My girlfriend and I are very close to becoming a common law couple. I am a small business owner and have built up a fairly substantial retirement and want to protect myself as best I can with a Cohabitation Agreement. When I brought this up to her she said she wouldn't sign it and that I dont need it because if we break up she will kill herself anyways.
She has fought depression for most of her life and has been in counselling for the last few months. i feel like there is a good chance she is telling the truth in her threats.
Many red flags have been raised in this relationship and I really don't see marriage as an option at this time. What can I say or do to make any of this better? | Nearing common law relationship, girlfriend wont sign cohabitation agreement and is threatening suicide. |
t3_3drjpb | Advice | Anxiety causing physical reaction from my body? | Hello Reddit, I seem to have an issue with how my body reacts to seemingly any miniscule amount of anxiety. My best example is a specific issue I deal with every day, I am in the middle of my fitness journey and it's been just over a year and 70lbs lost. More recently I started working out at a gym to reach my goals and I try to go every other day if I can, but every single time I will get dressed and ready to leave my house when suddenly a bowel movement happens and I have to go to the bathroom. I don't think I really have conscious anxiety about going to the gym so I really don't know how to get past this or manage it in a way that doesn't get on my nerves so much. Does anyone else have similar things happen? | I have subconscious anxiety when I want to go to the Gym and toilet paper is expensive. |
t3_3cei7s | relationships | I [26F] am struggling with self-confidence after being rejected... a lot. | I've been told I'm a solid 8/10, and I personally agree. I've felt pretty good about my looks, personality, intelligence, career, and sense of humor up until recently. By no means am I a stellar gift to mankind, but from what I know I'm a pretty good catch.
However, I've been rejected a lot starting at 18. Most men I take interest in select other women over me. For a long time I resolved that I just wasn't the right gal for them, even though I was reasonably sad about losing my connection to very interesting and exciting people I usually just went back to focusing on personal projects and work. More recently it's not sufficient to conclude that and I've genuinely concluded that something is WRONG with me and I'm inherently unattractive and undesirable. I took a year long break from dating and I'm beginning to feel convinced that what I really need is a lifetime break.
Worse yet, when I confided my problem in anyone I'm typically told that I sound depressed and should see a therapist. Of course I sound depressed, I have a soul-sucking record of rejection! But the downtrod feelings are a symptom not a cause. When I did finally see a counselor I have to admit that I didn't find the sessions very helpful, because I was still experiencing a great deal of romantic rejection. What on Earth could be wrong with me? | really tired of being told to address the symptom and not the problem. Starting to feel like there's no hope for me romantically. |
t3_3uthvy | relationship_advice | I [18M] think that she [24F] is into me, but I'm apprehensive because of the age gap. | Hey Reddit,
I'm a post-secondary student in Canada. I'm in my first year at my school and I will graduate with my degree in 4 years (2019). I met this girl through a club at school, she is in her last year and she will go into a Masters program after. I'm fairly certain she is into me and I think I may be into her, but I haven't fully thought about it yet. One of my major concerns is the age gap. Even though we are many years apart, when we talk we share many of the same beliefs and ideologies. I know these are all things that can lead to a happy relationship. Except I think I'm still stuck in the stigma of it being "weird" that the woman is older than the man. (I also believe it's weird to have a guy that much older than the woman). But that being said I have no experience in these matters so maybe I should try it?
My questions are, do you think that me feeling that the age gap is weird, weird? Or is it something else?
Also, please feel free to comment on anything else you think is prevalent. | We may mutually like each other, but I'm apprehensive because she is 6 years older than me. |
t3_376zvk | tifu | TIFU with sweeteners | So this happened yesterday and came to a heed about 10 mins ago.
Yesterday I bought some olive oil for my mum, fine, no problems here. So when I placed it on the shelf I knocked over a little container of sweeteners, the little pill like things that go in to tea or coffee. They went everywhere, like, everywhere so that was kinda annoying, but no big deal right?
So I left the house and went to the football and afterwards went to the pub and a night club as you do. Lots of fun was had, but I managed to leave my jacket in the club like a total idiot.. again not the end of the world, but it had the house keys in them so this resulted in having to wake up family in the middle of the night to sleep on their couch... At this point I'm now feeling that I'm at dickhead level 100, but hey ho life goes on and I appreciate their help in a time of need.
So this is where the fuck up truly kicks in. My mother comes to see me to tell me she found some money on my family's couch...and then shows me 2 pills that also appeared... I had some drinks last night, but I know for sure that I didn't do anything like that, I'm not interested in that, but fuck me the story really adds up now, drunk guy loses all his stuff, sleeps on family's couch and badaboom badabing drugs in his pocket.
So I spent a while frantically telling my mother that this isn't the case, yeh I was dumb last night and made some silly decisions, but I know 100% I didn't take drugs...then it clicked... those fucking sweeteners!!! I reminded my mum of the sweeteners incident and then opened the tub of them and compared them to the "drugs". IDENTICAL.
Thank. Fuck.
Family breakdown resolved. | Sweeteners look a lot like drugs. |
t3_1x8ahl | relationships | Me [21F] with my [18 M] of 6 months, cheated multiple times | The first instance was on New Years Eve, where I accidentally found out that he was heavily "flirting" with one of his friends. After confronting him, and having him promise me it wouldn't happen again, I was able to forgive him and try to rebuild the trust we had prior.
On Friday (Jan 31st), I purposely went through his phone. I'm not sure why exactly I felt the urge to, but I found very sexually explicit text messages between him and his ex-girlfriend. Confronted him again, said he was sorry and that he was done doing stuff like this. Then, the next morning, I wake up to him giving a show, so to speak, on cam with his ex-girlfriend. I kept quiet, watched everything, and let him finish. When I confronted him yet again, he came up with some lie and told him to just tell me the truth.
I feel so anxious all the time, and I can't get the image of him doing what he did out of my head. I love this man more than anything, and this is the only problem we've had during the duration of our relationship. I just don't know if giving him another chance shows him that he can just keep doing this, or if this REALLY isn't going to happen again. | How do I manage to get through this with him, without feeling the constant anxiety of if he's being unfaithful or not? |
t3_1nh2u8 | relationships | Me [25] & my Ex [24]. We were together for two years...Long story... | So pretty much we had been together for two years and she tells me that her heart simply isn't in it anymore. At first the break up was really messy with both of us just constantly hurting each other for no reason. We went back and fourth between being on good terms and being at each others throats. I'll admit that a lot of that had to do with me not being able to let go.
I had found out later that for the first 3 or so months of us being apart she had been going back to visit an old ex of hers. When I found that out I backed off. We stopped talking for awhile and that was pretty much it.
Recently, within the last month or so things suddenly started to get better between us. We're able to hang out and talk to each other with absolutely no drama. we play and joke around with each other. I found out that she no longer talks to or visits her other ex. Both of us actually recently met other people, nothing serious, just friends we've been on a date with. She's been pretty open about that with me and even asks me questions about the girl I had met (I know it sounds weird)....
I still do have feelings for her, and if the opportunity did come up I would consider trying our relationship again. I couple nights ago we were talking and i kind of alluded to that. I brought up things that, looking back, i could have done differently, and if I had a second chance I most definitely would. She told me that because of how bad things were hen we first split up, she didn't know if doing that would be a good idea, but neither of us ever really brought up the subject. We just kind of skate around it and hint at it. Her more so saying she doesn't know if it would work or be a good idea.
Should I just let this play out and see what happens? I'm afraid to say anything because of what happened in the past. I really don't want to ruin this good thing we have going right now. she is my ex but she's also one of my closest friends. I feel more comfortable with her than almost anyone else I know. | broke up, things were bad but lately things seem to be getting better, at least when it comes to our friendship. Should I wait and see or should I just come out right and ask her if she can see us happening again? |
t3_3r5mny | relationships | My [16m] girlfriend [16f] has feelings for someone else | EDIT: Thanks for the answers! I have decided to breakup with her.
Im going to make it quick...
So basically weve been together for 2 years and she went to this exchange student camp (Im not native english speaker so sorry if thats not correct but I hope you understand) and she met an italian guy [20].
We didnt really talk to eachother during the week that she was there but during the last 2 days she told me that at first, the italian guy (lets call him Peter) had asked my girlfriend (lets call her Sue) to go out for a walk with him.
She did and they talked and stuff, nothing too crazy yet. Peter did ask if they could hold hands so he could warm up her hands but she denied (thats what i heard).
The next day there was a disco because it was the last day and Peter asked Sue if they could dance the slow one and my girlfriend said she didnt want to be rude so she danced with him. After the dance Peter asked if they could go out for a walk and out there he tried to kiss my gf. My gf denied the kiss (thats what i heard).
She told Peter that she had a boyfriend. Peter asked if he would have chances if she didnt have boyfriend and she said he would have chances...
Long story short, my girlfriend has some sort of stronger feelings for the italian guy but she chooses me over him.
She said that she likes him more than just as a friend but she wouldnt throwaway our 2 year relationship for the italian guy.
I cant cope with my girlfriend having that kind of feelings for someone else. What do I do? Girlfriend coming home tomorrow! | girlfriend has feelings for italian guy she met at a exchange student camp. not as strong feelings as she has towards me but she still has those feelings and I cant cope with her having feelings for the italian guy. Help! |
t3_12rucv | BreakUps | How do you deal with the pain of losing someone who is both your lover and your best friend? I love her but she doesn't love me in the same way. | We (20M/18F) dated for three years. She just broke up with me tonight after a few days of a "break" and the incoming breakup looking obvious. I love her but she says she doesn't love me in the same way and can't see a future together anymore.
I'm devastated. She not only was my girlfriend, but my best friend as well. I want to remain friends, but when we talk now our conversations are flat and empty when they were once full of laughter and energy. It's hard to see a friendship between us that's even close to what it used to be. She had the ability to make me completely drop my inhibitions and have fun with her like no one else I've ever met. I'm normally shy and reserved but with her I always was completely open and always had the time of my life. It's hard to imagine ever finding a friend like her again.
Right now I feel aimless and depressed. I'm not sure where to go with my life now, and what to do next. A big part of my life is now gone, and it's hard to imagine finding someone like her again. I feel destroyed. | I have two questions. How do you deal with the initial pain and shock of losing someone you love? And how do you deal with the fact that she was your best friend as well? |
t3_1vwz2c | relationships | My ex (18) lied about cheating on me (17 y/o) because she wanted a clean break because she was going to college. | My ex told me she cheated (by cheated I mean had sex with a guy) on me a week into being in college (I am a junior in high school). I cut off all contact from this girl because I'm so hurt. I find out six months later from a mutual friend that she said she actually didn't cheat on me, but she just wanted a clean break…she didn't think she could get that by telling me to my face. I call bullshit on this. and even if she did not cheat on me, the fact that she just let me sit with that knowledge for six months…its just as bad as actually cheating on me because of the deception that comes into play. She told our mutual friend that she should tell me because she thought I should know the truth. | Personally, I think this is just a ploy to try and get back in contact with me, but I would just like your opinion on the whole situation. |
t3_42zeb2 | relationships | Me [30sF] with my friend [30sF] 3 months, looking for advice on how not to offend or hurt relationship. | Ill keep it short and sweet:
I moved to a new area last year and have recently started making friends with some women my age through a social group (this is HARD to do btw).
One of the people in the group is a realtor, and while the entire group of us (about 5 people) have made jokes about how she will help us when we are looking to buy, there have never been any serious conversations about it..
That being said, I am looking to buy and may have found a place to purchase. However, my SO is from this area and we have decided to go with a family friend as the realtor. This is a non negotiable.
I am trying to figure out how to share the news that I may be moving, and that I have gone with a family friend, to this group, particularly the realtor when I see them this week. While we never had any type of agreement, I do not want to offend or hurt anyone's feelings. I dont want to make this a big deal, but as these are relatively new friendships, I am still navigating how to discuss things without causing any problems. | I have a new friend who performs a service as her job. I need the service but have decided to go with someone else. How do i explain/bring this up, without causing problems? |
t3_11hx4v | relationship_advice | [23/f] My boyfriend (23/m) has an insanely low sex drive and I don't know what to do about it. Halp. | My boyfriend and I are both 23, I'm a woman, and we've been living together for almost 8 months now. In the beginning, we would have sex a couple of times a week, which isn't a huge amount, but I thought that was due to him having his finales in his final year of school. Since then, our sex life has actually decreased to once a week or less. It isn't a matter of ED, since he has no issues getting or maintaining an erection, its more a matter of a crazy low sex drive. He just seems to never be in the mood, as it were. He also takes a lot longer to climax than the average guy, usually between 30 - 40 ish minutes, and I don't know if that's connected with the low sex drive thing. Could he have low testosterone levels? To my knowledge, he isn't overly stressed about anything, or exhibiting signs of depression.
Halp. | boyfriend has crazy low sex drive and I don't know what to do about it. Halp. |
t3_4uokva | legaladvice | My dad needs help | Just a background:
My dad has been very unhappy with my mom for a very long time now. He didn't want to leave her until both of his children turned 18. My youngest brother will turn 18 in December, but my mom has now become violent and has had multiple psychotic breaks recently and my dad doesn't have a choice but to leave. My mom is currently in a mental hospital for an episode and had recently but she will soon be released and my dad fears that she will start to destroy his possessions. He's going to begin moving his things into storage but he's having a serious dilemma. He put her name on the title of the house, and the title of the boat. Does anybody have any recommendations? He plans on just foreclosing the house because he doesn't have much of a choice regarding that, because my mom is crazy and vengeful. His boat is very precious to him and I am trying very hard to come up with a solution to ensure he keeps his boat. Is there anything he could do to help with this split up? And are there any actions he should take to further help himself? If anybody has tips on what to do with the house or boat, it would be appreciated. | Parents aren't married but are about to split up. What are some precautions my dad should take to make it through this? The only legal papers my mom's name is on are the title to the boat and house. She is not on the loan for the house, and the boat is paid for. |
t3_3aw5gg | relationship_advice | I [30/m] seriously breached my wife's (30/f) trust while being a spiteful prick. Help | So I recently went to some military training with 3 female soldiers who are all my superiors. I don't have interest in any of them and have known them long enough there's not even an inkling of sexual tension. I (honestly) got accidentally drunk one Sunday after I told my wife I'd call her after lunch, but didn't call her until about 7 that night and I was apparently pretty incoherent. After that, she asked me to not hang out with them without her prior knowledge anymore. I felt like that was a reasonable request and agreed. Two weeks later, two of them were going to panama city beach for a long weekend and one of our friends (who is a male soldier) was going to meet them. My wife asked me to not go, and I relented. However, this meant that I would be stuck in a georgia shit hole on my own for 3 days. My 3 friends who were now in Panama were hammering me pretty good about coming down. The longer I stayed in my room and the more peer pressure I toom, the more spiteful I became. I finally broke and went down to panama the last night of the weekend without telling my wife. Actually I outright lied to my wife about it. I got down there, felt bad the whole time, had a shitty time, and left the next day to head back to georgia. I wasn't going to ever tell my wife about it. However, last night she happened to see one charge on my credit card from panama city. She asked me about it and for some reason I panicked and lied at first but then immediately fessed up. She asked me to leave and told me she wants a separation. We have two children I absolutely love with my entire soul, and I love my wife as much as I ever have. I've messed up a good handful of times in the past as well. But in the 6 years of our marriage, I have never cheated on her. While we were dating though, I was a pretty big douche and didn't take the relationship seriously. I haven't talked to another woman in almost 8 years. | I lied to my wife. She wants me out but I want to fix it. |
t3_1jjv7e | dating_advice | [22M]Reuniting with ex[20F] a few weeks from now. | A little background:
We've been off for 4-5 years, friends for 2 years after the breakup. Then just 2 years ago, I was in her debut and she fucked me up real bad for being an insensitive woman. I swore that time that I have already given up on her as a friend and as an ex-lover. Plus, she had a boyfriend that time, so it didn't really matter to me anymore. She's now in a far-away place and that made it easy to forget.
Last month was her birthday. A common friend of ours tipped me to try and reconnect with her. I did reconnect with her and things were really bright for both of us. She's single, and our conversations went more frequent although we did not express our feelings to each other yet. However, I will be going to that far-away place where she is, and we have a date set. This will be the first time we'll see each other again right after the ruckus 2 years ago.
It's not hard to mistake this as another chance to get back to her. I never expected things to look this bright. Am I fooling myself? Am I being too hopeful? the other thing is that this may probably another semi-long distance relationship. Friends have been telling me to think this over, but my gut feeling tells me I should really try to get back with her. | Ex-GF of 2 years with no contact, we're gonna be having a date in a few weeks from now. Still unsure if I should totally risk the heartache or just be friends with her. |
t3_2pbf24 | relationships | I've (21F) been seeing a guy (29M) for 11 days, my mom wants to meet him and it gets a little weird. Help? | So i am 21. I live with my mom. 11 days ago i met a guy on tinder. I got drunk and messaged him, but i hate talking on the internet, so i asked to meet in person. I go to his place. Drink coffee. Hit it off. No sex or anything physical takes place. I leave to meet up with some friends. When i leave he texts me. Tells me he has a great time. We agree that there was definite chemistry. He tells me he doesn't hook up and says hes looking for something real. I agree. He invites me back over when i'm done with my friends. We end up sleeping together and talking for like 6 hrs. We are really vibing. We hang out every day from then on. I stay there every night. We text when we are apart. He tells me he really likes me on numerous occasions. I come home (to my house) one day and my mom gives me shit. Saying that he's probably just using me and she thinks the whole thing is weird. She said she might feel better if she met him. I tell him. He says he will. So i come over. I had just smoked some weed and i get nervous about the whole situation. Which makes him nervous. He ends up chickening out. I get upset and leave. We talk it out some he said he wasn't mad at me but he needs to think it out some. That was like an hour ago. And im just freaking out because i like him and i don't wanna fuck this up. Does anyone have any advice? | I ask a guy ive been seeing for 11 says to meet my mom because i live with my mom and she worries. He got weirded out. :( did i fuck up? |
t3_4ds5d9 | relationships | I (33M) met this girl (30F). Is this a red flag ? | So I met this girl through a dating website. The first date went well but she talked a lot of her ex.
She told me he is a cop, he was crazy jealous and that one day he beat her up.
She pressed charge and the trial will be in two months.
It happened 4 months ago.
The date went well and we have another date on Sunday.
Am I ignoring a red flag here ? Does it sound like troubles ahead ?
I might be an asshole for thinking this bit I've had my share of crazy and I am trying to stay away from crazy as
much as I can. | met a girl. Her ex beat her up. The trial is in two months. Is it a red flag ? |
t3_150ucx | jobs | How do you guys best deal with job search depression? | It's my first time writing here, and, honestly, the first time I have ever been depressed in my life. I'm a recent graduate with a BA in Animation and I've been looking for a job in my field (or anything related) for over 7 months now. All my dreams of finding a job out of college have been slowly destroyed by each rejection email that I have gotten over these months.
I have applied to close to a hundred jobs now, and the only thing I have going for me at the moment is an unpaid internship at a media firm with no promise of full-time hire when the internship is over.
I have lived by myself, without any income for 5 months now. My boyfriend has been supporting me financially by paying for my rent and buying my food. I don't feel like myself anymore because of this. It's not right to me that he should pay for my rent/ expenses, and it makes me feel 'kept'. I feel like I am immensely in his debt, and that the relationship is not even anymore.
My boyfriend has always supported and encouraged me, but throughout this time he has been saying things that aren't realistic for me ("Oh, don't worry! Somebody will find your art and hire you right away." or "You can just open your own animation studio!"). He has never had to look for a job because his family owns food businesses. I feel like he doesn't know the severity of my situation. When I accepted the offer for my current internship position, he didn't take it seriously, joking about how he could just come to work with me and hang out. I understand his view on this unpaid internship (that I feel like I might be overqualified for), but it beats sitting at home every day and doing nothing with my life.
In the end, I feel like I have the right skills and passion to work in my field, but nobody seems to want to give me a chance to prove that.
So to conclude my rambling, this depression is really kicking my butt. I really hope that I am not the only one here who feels this way, and I hope that some of you nice people could give me some advice on how to deal with all of this... | Depressed because haven't been able to get a paying job in 7 months, with no income to pay for rent, and no way to deal with the sadness of being rejected over and over. Seeking advice on how to deal with this depression... |
t3_518e2m | weddingplanning | Help! Bridal party advice! | My fiancé, out of excitement and the goodness of his heart, asked four of his best friends to be his groomsmen within days of us getting engaged and said he would also like to ask his younger brother. The problem is, he was so excited, he forgot to ask for my input. The only person I feel close enough to ask is my sister. It's -really important-to us that our sides are even. It would also feel unnatural to move his friends to my side, but I also don't have the heart to have 3 of them step down and participate in another way.
What's the best option? Do I ask people I'm not very close to to be my bridesmaids? Is it appropriate to ask someone who doesn't know my fiancé very well if I do end up reconnecting with old friends? | fiancé has too many groomsmen, I don't have enough bridesmaids. We both want it even. |
t3_322iea | tifu | TIFU by accidentally swearing in front of a child. | Full disclosure that this actually happened last weekend but I am just getting around to sharing this now. YES this actually happened not just some joke out of a TV show/movie.
So it was Easter weekend and coming from an Italian family I have quite a large family with many kids (my nieces and nephews). The house we were at had many TVs and at the time of the FUCK! up I was sitting in front of one of them with one of my nephews. Because this nephew didn't like the cartoons the others were watching we were alone in the basement with everyone else upstairs.
He was extremely into the movie he was watching (some horrible Easter movie on VHS from 30+ years ago) so I decided to take a look at the NHL scores for the day as it was the last week of fantasy. As soon as I saw my goalies blew it and I had lost I yelled out "FUCK!". My nephew being the kid he is immediately looked at me and repeated it about 10 times in a row.
This is where it gets worse - I panicked and my only thought was to tell him that it was not a grown up word and that his mom would be mad at him if he says it out loud. He then says... "Fuck and mom will be mad?" And I said "YES! She will get very angry".
Assuming he understood what I had told him he continued to watch his movie until his mother (my cousin) came into the room to check on him. What's the first thing he says? "JOE (let's pretend that's my name) said if I Fuck then you will be mad.. please don't be mad!"
It's safe to say that I won't be babysitting any time soon... | I swore in front of a kid and all hell broke loose. |
t3_t6ykl | AskReddit | My bike got stolen a year ago, now it's parked right across the street! How do I get it back? | In june 2010 I found an old bicycle in my mums garage. When I asked her about it she told me that the bike had been her ride on several holidays but that she hadnt used it for some years now.
The bike had potential so I took it out and put on new wheels, new lights and gave it a good go-trough with a steel brush and an oil can. It came out almost as good as new.
When I moved out from home shortly after the bike came with me to the new place, as a present from my mum.
A year later the bike was stolen, gone from the stand outside the shopping mall where I had parked it. I presumed the old thing gone forever, a memorable thing from my mums youth and a present from my mum to me. Gone.
Today I see my bike parked on the street from where I live, neatly parked in a stand!
I havn't seen who rides the bike yet but from where the bike is parked he/she lives right across from my house.
Now, how do i get my bike back?
It's not like I have a registration card like the one from a car and two wrongs doesnt make a right so I won't simply steal the bike back.
Any ideas on how to proceed from you, fellow redditors? | My mum gave me her old bike. It was stolen a year ago and presumed gone. Today I saw it parked across the street from where I live, presumably with a new owner. |
t3_1p70ne | relationship_advice | I'm [29/m] struggling with the fact that my gf [30/f] is the gate keeper to sex | My girlfriend and I have a wonderful relationship. We've been together for ~10months and are very excited about our future together. She's incredible, but every once in a while little things creep up. One thing that continually gets me is being rejected for sex. It doesn't happen extremely often, but it happens. Usually I don't handle it all that well. I'm trying to figure out what about being turned down really bothers me, and I think it comes down to two things: 1.) I'm being rejected in a way, and I don't do too well with that, and 2.) she ultimately decides when we have sex. Point 2 arises from the inherent fact, in my mind, that it's much much easier to get a guy in the mood than a girl. There are various times when I'm not really in the mood, but with a little persistence I can quickly be turned on, and... she gets what she wants. I brought this up to her this morning (I was in the mood, she had to get to work) and her reply was along the lines of *welcome to the differences between men and women*. She wasn't being snarky or bratty, but just acknowledging this difference in genders without any deeper thought. On one hand I understand this. It arises from the difference between men and women getting turned on. However, it bothers me that control of this situation is so one sided. Guys out there, how do you deal with this? I feel like I just need to suck it up and move on, but I'm curious if I'm being unreasonable. | I'm upset because we have sex whenever she wants, but I get rejected every so often. |
t3_3b7fsw | tifu | TIFU by giving my 2 week notice | I applied to a job I never thought i'd get. It's an incredibly competitive company and basically it's my dream job.
The same day they offered me a job, the place i'm currently contracted to offered me a full time job. For weeks I've been in a daze, not sleeping at night, not sure what to do, what's the best decision. On one hand, I have stability, and know I could work at my current employer all the way through retirement (i'm a young guy). On the other, it's a dream job, but I'd have to move my family thousands of miles, and to be honest, this is going to be some hard work.....
I gave it a lot of thought and went with the 'dream' job.
So yesterday, I gave my 2 week notice after a long discussion with my supervisor. It felt so amazing getting it off my chest and making a decision. Last night, I slept better than I have all month. I came to work this morning with a spring in my step, a smile on my face - ready to finish all my projects so my supervisor isn't stuck with them when he comes back from vacation. Of course, I am still sad to leave my coworkers... but i'm also excited for my new opportunity.
Then the manager called me this morning and offered me damn near double my current salary.
God damnit. I told him I made a commitment already but ... that was hard to do - I think I might have whispered my reply.
It's going to be a long 2 weeks. | i'm an idiot and stressing about something I should be grateful for. |
t3_nsvar | dating_advice | Is this the best way to approach the situation with this girl? | So last school year I(15) talked to this girl(15) from my school a lot over Skype and in real life, Most of the time she initiated conversation until I started to be attracted to her then it was kinda 50/50. This lasted about a month and a half, I joined the school late then shit went down and we didn't talk all summer. I tend to be emotionless but I couldn't stop thinking about her all summer, I was ashamed that I let myself fall in love that much.
Early on into the school year we started talking again and still do. It use to be group chats online with other people but then it broke down into more singular one on one. I was fine with this in the beginning but then I realized in the 3 months we've been talking there has been very minimal character development in our conversations, nothing more than 45 minute-1 hour dry conversations compared to the conversations we use to have the previous school year.
In this years situation she's initiated a large percent of the conversation in real life and on skype and likes to fill me in on stuff that's she did that day, I went from feeling like someone this person trusts and connects to, to some diary. Both of us are very similar mentally, emotionally, we have the same opinions and like the same things and as far as I know I'm her closest male friend. As much as I'd love to pursue a relationship with her I can't see it being with someone who has conversations like I described.
I just stopped logging into Skype, she messages me from time to time on Facebook though and starting next semester(I'm on break right now) we'll be in the same PE. I'm just trying to drop her. My feeling for her are more controlled than they were during the summer. Is this is most effective way of handling the situation? I plan on explaining to her the situation if she asks. | Talked to a girl I liked, had nice conversation, stopped, restarted, dry conversations, stopped, is it the best thing to do? |
t3_3klizc | relationships | Me [16M] with my girlfriend [15F] 9 Months am I just being jealous? | So in the shortest way possible I will try to explain my situation, I have always been a jealous person and that's something I can admit too however my girlfriend also is but she cant admit it, when she has seen that i have been speaking to a girl even though its her friend she will all of a sudden change so i can tell that it has got to her and she has thought something bad even though she knows that the last thing i would ever do is cheat.
However the thing that annoys me is that she constantly talks to other boys, and quite often a few of them and the ones that she speaks too are the ones to try something with her but i have always let it slide as i didn't want to cause anything, however last night i had a lot of family issues so i had already had a shitty day as it was and after a while of talking about it she came out with "So many people always tell me how they wish i was single" which i instantly replied too with "like who?" she then proceeded to list about four of the names of people she speaks too and ended it with "the list goes on"
she instantly said sorry and that she didnt mean to say it in a bad way and that she just wanted to say it in a way that made me feel lucky but it didn't do that at all it just made me feel shitty it made me feel asif all these people she speaks too are just waiting for us to split up so they can get a chance with her but these people arnet the type for relationships there the type to use a girl so it made me feel even worse as i already didnt like them as it was how should i go about this? and the thing that bothers me most is that she doesnt allow me to speak to barely anyone but thinks its acceptable for her to speak to these people that obviously see her in more than a friendly way.
Sorry for the poor grammar, its late and I'm very tired and annoyed I will try and edit the post soon. | Girlfriend put it in my face about how a few boys she speaks too "wishes she was single" knowing about how I already dont really like these people but she thinks its acceptable but a totally different story when i speak to people |
t3_4agsue | relationship_advice | My bf [21] doesn't trust me [23f] and it's breaking me apart | My boyfriend and I have been together since the middle of last year, and it has been long distance for most of it. We met when I was still with someone else, and I developed feelings for him so I ended my last relationship. He gets anxious and sad when I do not respond to text messages for a few hours. If I go out with friends, which happens only once a month at most, he can't stand to be at home by himself otherwise he subconscious gets the better of him. I have never cheated on him and will never; however, he has been cheated on in the past. When he tells me that he is feeling anxious and/or sad after I haven't been in contact for a while it hurts me so much. I feel guilty, sad, and awful even though I don't think I have done anything wrong. I thought with time his anxiety would fade as he began to trust me, but it's still here and I just feel like such a failure for him not trusting me. It's eating away at me and breaking me down. I love and trust him with all of my heart and it tears me up knowing that the trust isn't mutual.
I am hoping that someone who has experienced something similar can provide advice for either how I can help him, or how I can help myself cope.
Thanks everyone, | boyfriend doesn't trust me, looking for advice |
t3_1t1e97 | relationships | I [23M] have been seeing two people simultaneously for the first time in my life. Need help. | I got out of a very shitty, emotionally abusive relationship about a month and a half ago. Some of my friends decided to try and help and set me up with a girl [F/25], we'll call her Zoe. I was pretty excited about the prospect — she was cute, nice, and we seemed to have overlap in interests and humor.
---
Out of nowhere, about two weeks after I started taking Zoe on a few dates, a friend of a friend [F/22] who we will call Lynn started talking to me. She's a straight-shooter, and made it pretty clear that she was interested in me from square one. I've since taken her on a couple dates.
---
So here's the deal. I like both of them but I'm having a hard time figuring out which one would be a better fit for me. I am also beginning to feel really shitty about the whole situation. I feel that, inevitably, it will be like I was leading one of them on the whole time. I don't think I should feel too bad — I've only kissed both of them, only been on a few dates with them, and neither of them have indicated an expectation or desire to be exclusive. Still, I feel shitty.
I guess I'm just looking for some guidance. Should I set a cut off date for choosing one? Also, I've never been in a situation where I have to turn someone down. How does one go about doing that? I don't want anyone's feelings getting hurt.
Honestly I'm just looking for some advice and reassurance that I'm not being a total asshole monster. Anything that isn't "man up and pick a bitch" is welcome. I just want to get out of this having made the right decision and having hurt people as little as possible. | Out of nowhere I had 2 girls interested in me. Have been taking both on dates. Am I a dick? How do I choose? How do I tell one that I can't keep seeing them? |
t3_1rifj9 | dogs | Having a separation problem with my dog. | I live with my boyfriend and a cat and a dog. My dog, Enzo is 11 months. We got him about 5 months ago. He's a great dog...super friendly to other dogs and people, Fairly well behaved (he IS a hyper puppy), and is good with his commands.
I work from home. So I'm always around. He follows me everywhere: upstairs, the bathroom, the kitchen..where I go he goes.
The problem is when I'm not home he's miserable, even when myboyfriend is around. When were both gone, theres no barking or destroying stuff. When my boyfriend is home, and I'm gone, Enzo just sits somewhere and shakes. He has no interest in toys, or treats or walks. This is not Enzo being scared of my bf. When I'm home, him and my bf play and rough house and have a great time! Enzo is usually a very happy dogs, and I want him to be happy without me too.
I never make a big deal about leAving the house, and it don't make a big deal about coming home. When I get home I ignore Enzo for a few minutes until I get all my stuff settled.
I'm at a loss of what to do. Any advice? | my 11 month old dog gets so depressed when I'm not home and my bf is. I've tried all the usual tips for separation anxiety and nothing is helping. |
t3_3eoiqi | dating_advice | Only talked for about a minute and got her number. What next? | Background: Last friday, I (23,M) was watching my buddies band playing and spied this girl (21, F) across the bar. I live in a small town and everyone in the bar has 2 degrees of separation or less. I ask my friend next to me if she knows her. They are friends and says she is really nice, etc. I say great I will go and talk to her later and I go back to enjoying the band covering "You can call me Al" Apparently my friend went and talked to her and told her about me and that I wanted to ask her out. She was just trying to help but that kind of kills the moment.
I eventually went and talked to her and introduced myself, established that we went to the same highschool and I got her number and because my friend tried to play matchmaker I went ahead and told her I'd like to go on a date. She and her friends were about to leave when I talked to her and the conversation lasted for maybe 2 minutes.
I am not a fan of texting and havent talked to her since and planned on calling her tonight to set up a date. I am usually not nervous about asking girls out and have gone on a ton of first dates but this situation is unique because we talked for so little. When I was in college I would go to the Zoo or aquarium for a first date when I hadnt talked to the girl much but I am now back in my small hometown where there is nothing like that around and the only real place for a date is dinner but dinner might be to formal since we didnt talk much. I am in Louisiana and summer means 100 degrees and 100% humidity during the day and swarms of mosquitos at night so anything outside is a bad idea
Should I start texting her? Would just calling her now be too much? Dinner a bad idea? | Got a girls number after talking to her for less than 2 minutes and now I am getting to worked up about calling her for a date. |
t3_lgv94 | AskReddit | My father is on long-term disability and they are going to stop paying him in April, is this legal? | In 2004 my father was diagnosed with kidney cancer, and had to have a kidney removed. After going through the process they believed that he was back to normal, and he returned to work. (Just for note he had already worked at this pharmaceutical company in New Jersey for 10 years.) Fast forward to 2006, he went back to his doctor and they found that the cancer has returned and there were signs of it on his lungs, liver and many other body parts. Following this he went through intensive chemotherapy and other treatments. This also resulted in him having serious chronic pain. He couldn't work anymore and was getting paid by MetLife(insurance provided by his work), on top of the long-term social security disability. He is currently taking an experimental drug that was just passed by the FDA, Votrient and it has worked wonders. However since he is making progress to recovery, the other side effects of the medicines, the chronic pains, and other things will never go away. As soon as MetLife found that the nodes were getting smaller they notified him that he will no longer be getting paid, and he will have to find a job. I don't know what to do, I am currently a student and feel like I may have to drop out of school in order to pay for my family. I was under the impression that MetLife has to pay as long as he is sick, until he reaches the retirement age of 65 which he is only 5 years away from. I would appreciate any advice on how I could possibly help the situation. Thank you, for reading. | Father got cancer, landed on social security disability and MetLife disability, MetLife is cutting us off in April, because he is making positive progress. What should I do? |
t3_4j1mlc | relationships | Me [25 M] with my GF [23 F] almost a year, refuses to talk to me if I "take a tone" with her | Not a throwaway because fuck it.
Me and my GF get along great 99.9% of the time, but very very rarely we do get upset with each other, and at that point she just locks up and shuts everything down with "don't talk to me".
Take last night for example. I was sitting next to her watching her play a game when it gave her a low battery message for her controller. She started to look for a charging cord and when she couldn't find one, she snapped her fingers at me (like one would for a dog) to get my attention.
This is the first time she's ever finger snapped at me, but it's one of my absolute pet peeves that I cannot stand because to me it's demeaning for anyone to do to someone else. I took a stern tone (the "parent voice" I guess) and told her not to snap her fingers at me because I can't stand it.
She then locked up and has not said a single thing to me except for "Don't talk to me" and business.
Every time this happens (about 4 or 5 times so far over the relationship), she expects me to apologize but will never apologize back for what she did to upset me.
I've tried to talk to her about it in the past but she doesn't listen to anything I say unless it's an apology, and even then I have to wait until she's ready to receive it or she just continues to tell me to not talk to her. | GF locks up when I get mad at her; expects me to apologize but she never reciprocates. |
t3_1qf3v2 | relationships | Me [30 M] with my ex-gf [35 F] I ended it after two years. I'm afraid I made a huge mistake. | I left my girlfriend after two years of being together, moving to France, and proposing to her. She said yes, but I felt as if there was so much pressure to live a life that I didn't want. I wasn't myself anymore, and I had sacrificed a lot. So I left. Her. I moved back to the US, and now we're going on 2-3 months apart. We talk a little, but I'm always reserved.
I miss her. So badly. My life is empty without her, and I'm afraid I made a huge mistake. Part of me wants to get back with her, but going back into that cage of a foreign land, no career prospects and struggling to break even at the age of 30 seems daunting. Also, I'm not really sure she'd even take me back.
I've begun to rebuild my life here in the US, but it doesn't feel the same anymore. It's.... not the same to do this without her. I know she misses what we had, but I don't know if she'll take me back. Or even if it's the right thing to do. I'm just afraid I didn't try hard enough.
Help? Please. | Broke up with my gf of two years, am starting to regret it, but wary of trying to move back to her. Help? |
t3_qgokt | AskReddit | I nearly just saw a man die. Has anybody else seen severe close-calls in person? | I went to visit a close friend of mine in Beverly today, and as I left, when the train was pulling in the platform, there was a man biking in to catch the train on the opposite side of the platform. He had to speed up to get over the tracks (there's a fence separating the two sides of the platform with an opening in the middle) and as he crossed the grade over our track, the poor guy friggin' wipes out and lands on the platform, and has just seconds to scramble out of the way. He got his bike and is onboard here somewhere. | have you guys ever seen any crazy close calls? |
t3_15d9yo | relationships | Girlfriend wants me to stop seeing certain people due to we trust issues [19F/20M] | We've been together for just over 3 years and this has always been a problem of sorts. I've got an ex girlfriend who I've kept as a close friend since we broke up when we were 16 (friends first, gave it a go, didn't work, back to friends). This didn't seem to cause any issues early on, however as time has progressed she's gotten worse an worse about me talking or spending any time with her (or other females in general really).
Now I know that something happened when she was younger that has given her trust issues so in a way, I can give her more leeway than I would any other girl. However now she is asking me to cut off all contact with said friend and never to see her as long as we're together.
Am I in the wrong for wanting to stay friends with an ex girlfriend? Or is she in the wrong for just not being able to trust the fact nothing would ever happen? | Girlfriend asking me to remove a friend due to trust issues |
t3_j25vx | AskReddit | What false errands have people you been sent on by employers or managers? | I'll start. When i was about 16, my first job real job, I was working in a pub kitchen. I was basically the kitchen bitch but mainly I washed up. On a quiet night the chef decided to cook some things to be prepared for the next few days. So he sent me out the kitchen to the stores to get all the ingredients he would need. I had got most of them when I was sent to get 'Scotch Mist'. I was told vauge directions as to where i would find it. After several minutes of searching I went back to the kitchen and was told it was really important i find it quickly as he needed it soon. I went back and hunted for a long time before finally admitting defeat. I went back to the kitchen and was told.. 'oh i guess we have run out, Maybe we have some French Mist.' I fell for it again. In total i spent maybe an hour looking for Scotch and French mist in the store room. When i came back and told him he had all the staff waiting just to laugh at me.
I never forgave that son of a bitch. | Sent on an errand for Scotch mist which wasnt a reall cooking ingredient. All members of staff were summoned to laugh at me. |
t3_2vrxdn | tifu | TIFU by going on my mums ipad | So this happened last night but whatever.
So I was using my mums ipad, she hardly uses it and I wanted to watch some stuff on Netflix.
I was almost finished with it when I noticed one of those photo apps which requires a password.
I had no clue why my mum would need such a thing so I clicked on it and typed in what her iPad passcode was (assumed it was the same because she isn't very good with security).
When the app opened up I had revealed the motherlode (pardon the pun) of naked pictures of both my parents.
Horrified I shut the iPad down and haven't spoken to either of my parents since. | found a bunch of naked pictures of my parents |
t3_3f13yy | travel | CheapOair is THE WORST | So I had a terrible experience with these guys. I can't prove it, but there has to be some shady practices happening on their end. So here's the story...
I booked a round-trip flight from Houston to Vegas for $950 (2 tickets and baggage fees for a flight that departs next week for DefCon). Out of curiosity, I wanted to check what the price would have been if I booked directly through the airline's website. I was shocked when I found out it was $300 cheaper through the airline! I understand prices fluctuate, but a $300 difference in a period of 1 hour?! Luckily, CheapOair tells you that you have 4 hours to cancel your reservation without a fee (which, apparently, is illegal as DoT rules stipulate a 24-hour window for fee-free cancellation). When I called to cancel my CheapOair booking, their customer service rep was stupid offensive. He kept on giving me bullshit excuses as to why he couldn't cancel the flight, even though I booked it like an hour beforehand. I never raised my voice or directed any personal insults towards him, but he repeatedly interrupted me, threatened to hang up when I demanded an answer as to why he wouldn't process my cancellation, and put me on hold for 30 minutes before I decided to disconnect the call when I asked to speak to a supervisor. Finally, I called the airline and cancelled the flight through them. Isn't the entire business model of these deal aggregating companies to secure cheaper deals for their users?! Apparently, not for CheapOair. Their's is to rob you, then make it impossible for you to get a refund. | Do yourself a favor, and don't use CheapOAir. Trust. Worst consumer experience EVER |
t3_1pjiyj | relationship_advice | I'm [21/m] thinking about having a one night stand/friends with benefits with my [18/f] co-worker. | I am single and haven't had sex in a few months. I flirt back and forth with a supervisor that I work with. I think she is really cute, and I want to have sex with her.
We have touched each other (grabbing ass, feeling each other, massages, teasing, etc). She and I have also talked about our sex-life a bit. We haven't *really* talked about having sex together; it's more so flirting rather than making it happen.
I've only had sex with girls I've planned on being with in a long-term relationship. I don't plan to have that kind of relationship with this co-worker (it would not work out).
When I'm in a relationship with a girl I don't seem to get emotionally attached *right* away. Although when I do get to the point of emotional attachment, I can get in this super jealous/anxiety state. I've never had a "one night stand" or a "friends with benefits" experience before, so I don't know if I'll end up getting hurt. There's also the fact that *she* could get hurt as well.
***
- Should I ask her for sex?
- Should I just continue masturbating while waiting for a long-term relationship to come along? | I want to have sex with a cute friend I work with. One night stand a good idea? |
t3_2mqndg | relationship_advice | I [20F] came off extremely needy/clingy/insecure to a [26M] and I'm wondering if there's anyway to come back from that? | So I'm a 20 year old girl. There's this guy I'm kind of friends with and we've hooked up a few times. I sort of blew up his phone yesterday and then started apologizing profusely about it because I know how fucking crazy that is to do. Like I'm extremely ashamed that I acted that way and did what I did. Today he said "leave me alone".
I guess my question is, is there anyway at all to come back from this? I'm not looking for a relationship from the guy but he was alright enough to chill with and the sex was really good, so just a fwb situation.
If anyone needs more details to answer the question I can provide them just didn't want to make a wall of text lol. | blew up a guys phone, he told me to "leave him alone", is there any way to salvage this if I'm just looking for a fwb/cuddle buddy situation. |
t3_ywi7u | relationship_advice | [24] wife shunned after only a week into marriage | We're both 24 years old and though we've been together for 7 years we only got married a week ago. My husband is a great person, don't get me wrong. He's loyal, caring, smart and also extremely sexual.
I've always had body issues. It didn't really help that I am taller than him, it always made me feel gross for some reason. Anyways, before the wedding, I kind of snapped and became bulimic. (I tried dieting and exercising, but it wasn't giving me the proper results I was looking for.) being bulimic made me feel strong and sexy. It made me feel like I was in control. Though I didn't tell anyone about it, the confidence must've been showing because up came the compliments and also the sex. However a few days after the wedding my husband found out it and he became really upset and started looking at me as if I was undesirable. Even now he'll still be with me, talk and say the right things but he won't touch me. Especially for a guy with a huge sex drive for him to not initiate or say anything for several days is odd. Any advice reddit? | Relationship of 7 years, just got married and husband found out I'm bulimic and has not touched me since. |
t3_20redx | relationships | I [18 M] don't know how to avoid with a controlling man [30's M] who want's to be friends. | Yeah, reaaaal creepy. I think he may be gay, I dunno. He's not put a move on me or anything, but still.
This guy's not respecting my space, everytime we meet and talk he always has some complicated load to dump on me. I hate it! I just feel his negative selfish energy sapping my own away. I never leave him happy, EVER! It's a classic therapist/patient relationship. The guy just needs to shut his mouth.
So, I tried cutting ties with him, but this guy is a bit cuckoo and doesn't have any other friends/family to go to. So, he is clinging like a mofo. I told him explicitly that I want to be alone for a week or two and he totally blew me off saying I'm selfish and not a good friend. I swear he's a bit of a narcissist or a controlling personallity or both.
The worst part though, is since we are both religious, he pulled the "what would Jesus do" card. Quoting scriptures saying basically to love everyone. And how I was sinning by not being his friend. I know creepy.
I do want to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, but I think it's time I be firm and MEAN if my spirituality is being drained by him. Kind of respect myself before I respect others, you know? (I prayed about it and God said something along the lines of "get out of there!" so I'm pretty sure he's ok with it.)
I cut off most ties with him, including facebook and blocking his phone number, but now he stalks me around campus to try to make an attempt to make amends. The problem is, I know I'll still be unhappy if I do fall back into his hands
What do you guys think? | This guy is manipulative, controlling, and selfish. How do I basically say "get the hell out of my life!" him in a loving, christ-like way (If Possible?) |
t3_2bp3pb | relationships | Me [22 M] with [21 F] got her number in a bar last night. How can I potentially make this go somewhere? | I was at the bar last night and ran into a girl that I've known in passing for a few years, but never really formed a strong friendship with. She always seemed really cool and also seemed to enjoy talking to me. I asked if she wanted to hang out sometime and we exchanged numbers.
Trouble is, I've done this before (gotten a girl's number in a bar while we're both drunk), and nothing ended up happening because all I could think to say when I texted her was "Hey, wanna get some coffee sometime?" That and maybe she wouldn't have handed out her number sober.
I don't feel like my life depends on it or anything, but I'd like to at least see if I can make anything happen here. Any advice on not screwing this up? | Got girl's number in a bar when we were both intoxicated. How do I approach contacting her sober? |
t3_gfow1 | AskReddit | Any good "I got fired from my job for (this)" stories? | I was working for a well-known Karate/MMA organization in the Northeast. The boss' daughter was visiting the office and I thought she was fine. I started talking to her for a while, just innocent flirting, but nothing too nasty. My supervisor was out of the office and it was a Friday so there was nothing better for me to do.
After we were done talking, I wrote on Twitter something along the lines of "Met the boss' daughter. Absolutely gorgeous. Nothing like her father, as in, she actually likes me."
Two hours later, my supervisor calls me and tells me, noticeably disappointed in me, that the IT guy, Doug, had been stalking me on Twitter for weeks and once he saw that comment, he told the boss, who wanted me gone.
I corrected the IT guy once on a website issue in front of a few people and I guess he had it out for me ever since. | Hit on boss' daughter. Talked about her on Twitter. Dickhead IT guy sees it and tells boss. Semishock fired. |
t3_r1knw | AskReddit | What was your biggest "I need to get the fuck out of here right now!" moment? I'll start. | I want to preface this with something. A few hours before this I took 4 Lortabs and 6 Valium. I went to an amusement park type thing, you know the kind of place with an arcade, mini golf, go-karts,bungee jumping and other shit. So my stomach was sort of queasy through the go-karts and the mini golf but I decided that it would be fun to go bungee jump. That was my first mistake. Well, I get all suited up and climb to the top of the tower ready to jump. I almost puked here but I held the tides back. After my jump I'm not feeling too well and I decide that I need to get some food since the only thing that I had that day was a biscuit and a bottle of Coke. I decided to eat at the glorious restaurant of Panera Bread. On the drive over there my stomach began to calm down so I assumed that I would be fine. As I open the door I start feeling a pulsing in my stomach and that's when I knew that everything wasn't alright. As I'm ordering my Italian Combo the pulsing in my stomach is rapidly increasing and my mouth begins to water. The warning signs of doom. I barely finish my order when the putrid slime is climbing my esophagus. Right when I spot the bathroom my mouth lets out a jet of vile greenish liquid. The puke is all over the floor, my shoes, shirt and face. I sprinted to the bathroom and cleaned as much off of my face and body as humanly possible. I quickly walk past the slime on the ground and pick up my order. I didn't think that anyone knew it was me so I decided to rest and eat there. I pick a chair that is facing towards the man-made snail trail so can watch the clean up. In the middle of eating my first sandwich I see this lady walking towards my trail. She looked like she was moderately dressed up and wearing high heels. She rounds the corner and slips on the vomit slime and falls. As soon as I see her getting up, with a stream of puke falling off of her back I grab a to go box and get the fuck out of there. | Spew vomit snail line on ground, woman slips and falls on it |
t3_4oc3ue | relationships | Me (27 M) and my girlfriend (23 F) of 6 months just got engaged. We think we are truly in love, others maintain it's infatuation. | My fiancee and I met on a Catholic dating site while we were both lonely and miserable. We became close very rapidly, we connected and related on so many levels, and both felt that we had found the true soulmate destined for us. When we're together, kissing, holding hands, etc. our hearts both pound and we're overwhelmed with incredible feelings. When I just see her face or think about her I feel all warm and good inside, and I am often kept awake at night with thoughts about her. Does this sound like we're truly in love, as we think? We're mutually inexperienced virgins, we don't know that much about these feelings.
We've already met with our priest and our marriage will be in 6 months (we're doing mandatory marriage counseling, seminars, a Catholic couples retreat and such things in the mean time). Our time together has been the happiest time in either of our lives, and marriage is extremely desirable for many reasons (it will help both of us tremendously with our lives to have one another as partners/companions in life, we'll be able to live together without causing our parents to freak out and church to prohibit us from Communion, be able to make love of course). We have met with some naysayers, mainly some of my siblings and friends who think I'm infatuated with her and only think it's love due to inexperience. Does this sound like we're correct (that it's true love) or that they're right (and it's "infatuation"). I'm ignorant about this and so is my fiancee, but we are very sincere and want to follow love and we just can't ignore these feelings: I feel extremely heartachey for her, almost sick because of it, and I literally can't take it anymore (though I've felt much better since we got engaged and set up our wedding ceremony) and life apart seems dreadful. Is that what love feels like??? | My gf and I (after only 6 months of extremely good dating) are so in love and full of heartache for one another that we got engaged and are looking forward to our union in 6 months. I love her so ardently that the good feelings for her sometimes make me almost sick and keep me awake. When together our hearts pound and we feel amazing things. Is this what love is, or is it only infatuation? |
t3_1roxn4 | relationships | Me [18 F] with my friend [18 M] 2 months, need to figure out if it's worth dating. | I met this guy a few months ago. We are both in college and we hang out regularly, go out to dinner and so on. At first I thought it was just FWB but now it seems to be a regular thing. We've established that essentially we're in a relationship but we just dont call it that because I made a comment about relationships not existing in college. My biggest problem is that we dont communicate. We are so great when we're in person. We talk non stop but he doesnt text/ Facebook message or anything. He contacts me once a week and that's it. I dont want to be annoying so I try not to push conversation. He's asked me if I want him to talk to me more and even though I said yes there hasnt been any elaborate effort made. How do I fix this as seeing we'll be on break for a month and I think not talking for that long could be a little detrimental? | My 'boyfriend' cant communicate any other way but face to face. |
t3_wri8k | relationships | Struggle to connect with either parents and i have absolutely no respect for my mum | I'm a 20 year old dude. My parents had a messy divorce when i was 9 and it spilled over many years: social services, court orders and everything were involved, both parents used myself and my younger brother as weapons against the other, telling us that the other was something horrible to try and get us to stay with them or stop contact with the other.
My mum would always insist that it was my dad fault i had self-esteem issues yet it was complete bullshit.
After the divorce, my dad found a new job, bought a new house, found new hobbies, made new friends, found his new wife (who's lovely), had two children with her and generally got on with his life.
My mum on the other hand: dragged me and my brother with her, rented a shit house, kept her alcoholic abusive boyfriend who she left my dad for and had another child with her boyfriend (he left soon after).
She now just wallows in self pity, she has no friends or a partner, no interests or hobbies and is overweight, she sits and complains about all of those problems and never tries to fix them yet she has the nerve to criticize me on how i'm living my life (i'm 20 and at university, my life is going fine in my eyes).
I have absolutely no respect for her and am starting to despise her because of it.
I just don't know what to do, i can't help her as she's unwilling to even help herself and i am fucking fed up of the constant complaints.
I'm considering cutting contact completely from her.
Could i get some advice? | Parents divorced, dad picked himself up and leads a good life, mum fucked up big time and complains about life but never fixes hers, criticizes my life instead. Want to cut contact with her. |
t3_53krrp | relationships | I [24f] resent myself and him [28m] for things I've put up with. Two year relationship. Is this normal? | Hi. I'm going to keep this short and sweet and not get too into what he did, or I did, since he occasionally reads this sub.
He has done a lot of things that I never would have expected myself to put up with in the early stages of our relationship. There were many lies and suspiciously late nights out that I decided, ultimately, I could move on from. I know now this was stupid.
For the longest time I thought I was resenting him. I probably am. However, I'm starting to realize that I'm resenting myself more than anything. I feel ashamed of myself for putting up with that treatment. I feel embarrassed that my younger self would have scoffed if you had told her she'd "forgive" these things. Sometimes I regret not leaving him when I had a good reason to. I think I am actively starting to hate myself and think I am falling into a depression.
The complicated (for me, probably not for you all) part is that our relationship is really great now. He has done a total 180 from how he used to be. He knew I was close to leaving him and he actively changed, no ultimatum, nothing. I am very happy with him as we are, and would have no complaints if I could just leave the past in the past. But I can't. I also feel like I'm being unfair to him now, harboring this anger and sadness. | Is it normal to hate myself for forgiving a "deal breaker?" Is the relationship salvageable if I hold so much resentment? |
t3_2d5946 | relationships | Me [18F] with my boyfriend [18M] of 3 years, I broke off our long distance relationship, regret? | We've being dating for 3 years, 2 of those long distance (as in 9,000 miles distance). It's been really difficult and a lot of effort but worth it. For the past few months I've been having constant nagging doubts about the relationship, mainly because it would be another 3 years until we could close the distance. (due to college)
This has led me to feel very negative about our relationship working out in the long run. He even suggested he could take a semester out and combined with summer could come here for 6 months while I'd be in college, yet, my first reaction was 'no no thats a bad idea'..that's when I realised did I really want this? I love him a lot and always saw my future being with him, but lately I feel the need to find myself first and not settle down so soon. It's like I see my future with him, yet feel it's too much to deal with now.
The distance makes it so difficult to grow with the constant changes. He's so different than he used to, as am I, yet I find it hard to accept this. I feel like we're somewhat incompatible. i broke up with him yesterday and he's so devastated. He thinks I broke it off because I want to 'sleep around' which it isn't like that at all. I could care less about being with other guys right now, i broke it off because the distance had turned me into this crazy, anxious, insecure and jealous person where I had to check his snapchat, facbeook etc every 5 seconds. I didn't feel like myself anymore.
I'm starting to worry if it was the right decision. We've been together for so long and he knows me better than anyone else. I feel so guilty, like such a bitch. | I broke up with long distance boyfriend - now wondering was it the right decision. |
t3_105jsp | relationships | I don't know if I should tell my ex [22] that I [20] have a new boyfriend [23]. | I [F 20] broke up with my ex [M 22] about three months ago. We had dated for five years and had lived,unhappily, together for nine months. We have remained friends but he's not over me even though I am completely over him. I was unhappy for a long time in the relationship.
I recently started dating a new guy [23] and I like him a lot, things are great, and I'm more than happy. My question is should I tell my ex? He's going to find out eventually but is it better to tell him sooner or later or before he finds out from someone else? I know he won't be happy about it at all. | Broke up with boyfriend after five years together, now dating someone else. Should I tell my ex? |
t3_2hxuq8 | relationships | My (23f) friend (24f) has issues with controlling men and emotionally abusing men, doesn't see it. Her behaviour with her new boyfriend is atrocious, not sure what to do? | I started distancing myself from this person a year ago.
She has been on and off for a year now with a long distance partner, who is relatively youtube successful. He is her go to for when she doesn't have a physical relationship. She often cheats on him with people she ends up dating (4 times in a year now), which is a shame, because he is an amazing giving person, and treated her like a princess - even flying her out to see him...
She plays emotional games with men, guilt tripping them in to being more loving (often expects them to show their affection with material objects etc)
For example
Often she'll be posting about having to love yourself, quotes about being appreciated etc - but really - she is the one who needs to learn to appreciate her partners. She posts all over faebook about how shitty her life is and how shitty her partners are, constantly belittling her current partner and threatening break ups. Her latest stunt was to post on twitter like she is single (constantly referring to herself as a single Pringle) and posting on Facebook about going out on her own and looking to the future with 'no more tears', telling her partners friends to just delete her because she can't be bothered to go through and delete them herself (hiding the status from him)
Today she changed her display picture to her and her partner, but continues to talk about him and bitch him out on social media, complaining she wants a gamer boyfriend (even though she had one and screwed him over) and posting about how she isn't appreciated and having to rely on herself (more quote pictures worthy of the finest instagram filter)
I spoke to her yesterday and told her that she needs to speak to someone about her issues, she went off on me telling me was the victim, that men target her etc.
How do I help her see that she is abusing people emotionally and damaging some amazing guys and of she continues to behave this way - she'll end up miserable and alone? | my friend plays mind games with her partners. Leaves the men emotionally damaged. Try to talk to her about it. She lost her mind over it. |
t3_2qb3i7 | legaladvice | How far does attorney-client privilege extend (WA)? | In my work environment, we routinely rely on attorney-client privileged discussion to protect unfinished decision-making, because the legal issues often occur in the public space (government), subject to public record requests. We generally invoke it with our lawyers to ensure that legal strategies cannot be publicized before their implementation. The same protections exist for unfinished non-legal strategies.
I have a hypothetical scenario that I'd like answered: if I have an attorney-client privileged communication with a lawyer (the agency is the client here, and I am staff in that agency), can I relay this information to other staff in the client agency, invoking the same privilege, even though the communication is no longer between me and the lawyer?
More specifically, I want to share attorney-client privileged legal strategy to non-legal staff via email, but am not sure that I can invoke that protection, as a non-lawyer.
In all honesty, all of this could be alleviated if I had a simple telephone conversation, and I could ask one of our lawyers about this. However, the holidays are screwing this up, and I want to be sure the message reaches the staffer in a timely fashion (email), and can't get the staffer or lawyers on the phone until it's too late. | can communications remain attorney-client privileged if non-lawyers (but 'members' of the client) are relaying protected legal strategies to each other? |
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