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t3_2pg4ay | relationships | I (20M) could use advice on a situation with my friend (19F) that I asked on a date. | A few days ago I asked one of my friends on a date, I was planning on taking her out to dinner and then to hang out afterwards at my house; to play video games, watch TV, nothing major. Today, however, I found out from one of my other friends that she really doesn't see it as an actual date, which is what I intended for it to be. So my question is what would be the best way to proceed from here, should I just call it off? Pretend it was never supposed to be a date even though I wanted it to be? Any and all advice is appreciated, thank you in advance! | Girl I asked on a date doesn't want it to be a date, what do? |
t3_3xfq9y | relationships | I [25F] have a crush on a professor [40s M] | Title basically says it all. I really want to swallow these feelings. I want them to disappear, because something about this doesn't feel right.
I'm a graduate student and he isn't my advisor. He isn't married. He's not my actual professor. The problem is that he's in my research group, so we do have to interact. He's also part of a relevant funding committee.
Is it really a bad idea? If not, how to proceed? If so, how should I move on? I would probably have to avoid him to get over him, but I see him all the time. | graduate student crushing on faculty member in the department. |
t3_193zl6 | pettyrevenge | Residential tailgater can eat my red lights | Driving to a party tonight,I turned off the highway into a residential area. Shortly behind me was a clean, new,"my junk is tiny" pickup truck who gets right up on the bumper of my little Subaru. This area is known for having cops around every corner, so I normally limit myself to only driving a little over the limit to avoid unwanted fines. The faster I drive, the closer this guy gets. The whole area is only one lane each direction. I turn down a second road and there he is, still following, and getting pissed. About a mile later he starts flashing his lights at me. Oh hell no. I slow down to the speed limit, set my cruise control, and watch his world burn, lights flashing, until I turn again and he continues straight.
Best of all: The driver in front of me had noticed this whole incident and, after I turned, slowed down to ten below the limit. Thank you kind stranger for assuming my role as legal asshole and engaging in a new level of petty slow field enforcement. | don't tailgate me bro, and may the petty be with you. |
t3_3nhb1o | dogs | [Help] Reddit, please help me name my new dog | Hi there Reddit!
(I'm not good at making posts so I hope i marked it correctly)
Im getting a new companion. She is a bi-color Basset Hound and the Kennel isn't gonna name her, which is a first for me having owned 3 dogs prior from Kennels. but its a great oppurtunity.
I used to have a tri-color Basset (Named Mille) which I had to get put down before the summer due to an immunesystem failure, I was devastated. I vowed to never get a pet again, as it is too painful to say goodbye.
However I'm now in the hospital, and I've been told I have a disease which is gonna make life hard for me living in the stress of citylife.
When I get out next week I will have my apartment packed and my new friend and I will move to a house (with a biiig garden) down the street from my parents' house in a really small town 2 hours away from all my friends (for the next 4 months i wont drive either).
I can find a job which I can work, but I will need company that isn't my parents' constant nagging about my health issues, or 14 year olds on Xbox live (so no XBone).
So now Im getting this new friend, I need to atleast be prepared for her arrival! Best name I have to date is Ellie (From The Last Of Us, those puppy dog eyes with a F U attitude lol)
I have been sent a picture of her if it helps you come up with names:
[Cuteness Overload!](
Thankyou Reddit!
-Norwegian Mountain | I am sick, had to move, got a dog as company - name idea? |
t3_148nzm | relationship_advice | why do women claim to not be size queens when they actually are? | women claim size doesn't matter to much, but apparently it does alot. why can't women be honest about it? are they just trying to avoid saying it, like being the bearer of bad news? my 'girl' was masturbating to a porno, one that she frequently goes back to apparently, and she sends the link to me, and its some guy with what looks like a foot long cock getting sucked off. I was already fucking depressed, and now i don't even know what to do. I don't understand why a girl would want to marry a guy, yet she rubs herself off to footlong cocks. fml. I don't have a small dick, 7" 3/16ths, but not a footlong. The problem wasn't that she wanted to marry me,
I'm already self conscious, because of pervious relationships with women turning out to be size queens and having giant dildos IN REAL LIFE NOT PORNOS, and I thought this was going to be different for once, but its the same fucking thing again. I already feel like I'm not worth keeping around, women are just waiting for the bigger, better, deal, and I'm replaceable. i don't care that she watches porn. | I have met or dated many women who have giant coke-can thick vibrators or foot long sex toys, and this girl i've been seeing for nearly a year, has a modest vibrator, gets off to foot long dicks. FML |
t3_4kovr9 | relationship_advice | I'm [19M] into a girl [19F] but she's away for the summer. Another girl [19F] seems she's into me so I might want to take a shot but don't want to turn the first girl away. | Hey all,
So I'm a 19M and I've been friends with the first girl for almost 4 years now, let's call her Diana. Back in March. I asked her out and she said no, because even though for months she was giving me positive signs, I simply took too long. Anywho, she's away for the summer and she called me saying how she would like to try "us" some point in the future after she's back, essentially next year of university. We've been friends for years, and even after I asked her out we're both mature enough to move past it real quick and nothing really changed between us until she called me a couple weeks ago.
The issue resides, should I feel attached and not go for anybody else besides Diana? I have another friend who's not away for the summer and yesterday she gave me some pretty good signs that there might be something more to out friendship, but should I go for it? Will I be risking Diana's possibility of more-than-friends? Is it simply worth it?
Please advise
-HFML | Friend who wants to try being more-than-friends is away for the summer and we're just friends for right now, but because she's away for so long is it worth going for someone else in the meantime? |
t3_2rsa5h | tifu | TIFU by putting a plastic bag in my pocket. | This just happened less than thirty minutes ago, but I have to go back to earlier in the day to tell this story right.
I work in IT for a restaurant company and occasionally have to hang monitors. Today I was working in the kitchen assembling the arm that would hold the monitor. It came with three hex keys to tighten the different size bolts. These came in a small resealable bag that I pocketed because I didn't want to leave trash in the kitchen. Fast forward an hour I am done with my work, pack up and leave so I can go home and pack for my vacation.
Of course I don't change clothes and head to the airport in my work clothes, which wouldn't have been a big deal if I didn't mindlessly follow TSAs rules. While putting my things in the xray machine I am asked to check my pockets for anything else. I do and pull out the incredibly empty and tiny plastic baggy.
I freeze as I realize how this looks. I contemplate crumbling it back up, but now I am being watched. The Agent immediately notices the bag as I go to throw it away. He asks, "why do you have that bag?"
To which I explain my job and why I had it as believable as it was or wasn't he let me into the nudy scanner.
He must have said something to the agents on the other side because I got more questions on the other side. This is a busy airport and there are dozens of cops standing around after security, two of which wonder over and stand behind the new agent.
Thankfully I had pictures of my work on my phone, which I showed them. The dates were in the photos so they seemed to believe me. Now I am boarding my plane even more thankful that I keep evidence of my work. | left a plastic bag in my pocket, went to the airport, looked like I was trying to bring drugs on my plane. |
t3_16v4r8 | Advice | I'm going through a rough patch in my life and I would appreciate some unbiased help. | I'm 16 years, old so I'm not sure how much of this is just normal teenager stuff, but I feel trapped. I go to a really academically demanding high school, so I'm constantly stressed out by things like homework. For most of my life, I've been able to hold myself together fairly well when I get stressed, but lately I crumble at the slightest issue. I break down from anxiety constantly. It's gotten to the point that I had to leave during the middle of my math class because I was breaking down. It's not just about school, though. My dad has been having a LOT of medical troubles for the past few years, and he's been to the hospital so many times lately that the pain of it is starting to numb, which scares me.
I just don't know what to do.
There is so much more to this, but I can't type it all out. I just want to learn to control my anxiety, because it's making me miserable and dread everything in my life. | constant anxiety attacks. I'd like to know how to make them less frequent. |
t3_4e1xt3 | relationships | My [21F] parents [50s] are refusing either to do anything to help their marriage or to get divorced, anything I could/should do? | My parents have been together for over 30 years, but it's not always been plain sailing (they're very open about their breakups before they got married, and when I was younger I remember them going to marriage counselling). But recently they've been worse than ever, my mum started sleeping in my old room and they barely speak (don't fight much but that's because they don't talk enough to fight). Believe it or not, what sparked this recent deterioration was my dad going to the cinema with other people who weren't my mum, I get why that might be upsetting but I don't think worth this reaction.
I have a younger brother (14, still lives at home) and sister (19, lives part time at home), and I have moved out but still go home for a few days quite regularly. I don't know if my brother has realised what's going on, my sister certainly knows. I totally accept if they want to get a divorce, but they won't do anything to either make the relationship better or get a divorce.
I spoke to my mum about it and she said she 'knows' my dad doesn't care enough to go back to counselling But she's not actually asked him). I think it's more likely that my dad feels too awkward and nervous to bring it up, as he's not a very social guy. My question is what I could do to encourage them to do something to make themselves happier (even if that means getting a divorce), or if I should just stay out of it. | My parents are being totally dysfunctional, refusing to speak about it and each assuming the other one doesn't care. Is there anything I can/should do, e.g. encourage them to go to marriage counselling? |
t3_3h8v7i | tifu | TIFU by getting fired for pissing off Hillary Clinton's campaign manager | So I won't name names but I work for a company that manages the back-end infrastructure for individual campaign donations (we process credit card transactions essentially). Anyway being the IT guru (and genius) that I am I made a sort of decent video on the technical implications of Hilary's email situation for Youtube. Well forgetting what was in my clipboard I ended up linking a few videos to my boss's boss on another unrelated topic and accidentally sent him the link to the video that I made (from my company email no less). Once the email was sent I immediately realized the problem and tried to change the name on my google account that had the video thinking id be fine and would have deniability. Well after hours of crossing my fingers and eventually moving on I got quite the call. I was ultimately told that the email ended up getting forwarded due to an out of the office forwarding setup to multiple people including Hilary's CAMPAIGN MANAGER. Anyways she called the company I work for and complained which led to my firing today so if anyone needs a IT guy fluent in MySQL, DB2, and TP systems I am available. | youtube links all look a like, check to make sure you send the right ones |
t3_4abwi2 | legaladvice | [CA] How can I obey this TRO? | I've been hit with a TRO for reasons which are very complicated, unwarranted, understood, acceptable, and irrelevant. Essentially, someone had to file a restraining order on me even though I hadn't done anything beyond textbook criteria so that her new boyfriend wouldn't be a problem for me and for her -- it's abusive, that's a given.
Here's my thing, though: I don't know where she lives. I have no email or phone information. I have no idea how to be safe in this TRO when I don't know where she lives or works. I assume that it's up to her as to calling me out on transgression, but I'm not entirely sure that she wouldn't do that for the lulz, drama, or ease of boyfriend.
Bare bones (and no exaggeration or diminishment):
Ten years ago I met a girl.
Five years ago we became more than friends, less than lovers (nothing physical, lots of emotional)
Things went south because I was married, she was in a relationship with a violent man. Also because things went south. It happens.
Now five years later she is still with the same horrible man. I am still with my wife, and we have moved FAR beyond that nonsense. But I still care about the girl I once loved, and I sent her a professional message vis-a-vis her gallery-bound artwork. And the next morning a police is on my door.
This is the worst | ever. |
t3_1dnbm2 | relationships | Gf [21] cheated on me M[26] but doesn't know I know yet. | Throwaway just because, so anyway, Gf and I are going on a 2 year relationship. We don't live together, We are about 30 minute drive from each other, so seeing each other is nothing to worry about. As for the cheating, from what i was told there was no sex involved just all the things leading up to it, She refused to have sex with the guy, why baffles me too? But I have a feeling she's going to want to break up with me soon. As far as things go, the past 2 months have been weird i would say, talking less and less, and see each other less because she's in school and studying for finals.
My question is what do i do? do i confront her, or have a talk that will lead up to the subject of cheating? I still love her and I want to be with her. I'm in deep shock and I'm shaking. I just want to stay with her, I love her to damn much. I'm so sorry this isn't cohesive enough..
I guess i should also add that I did forgive her before for pretty much the same thing before.. Did I mention that I love her that much? | gf cheated all but sex, doesn't know i know, i want to save the relationship but don't know how or even if I should. |
t3_3xud2j | relationships | Update - I [22 M] have been talking to a girl [22 F] online for some time, should I make a move ? | Original post :
We continued texting back and forth for the last couple of days.
She went home for the holidays and invited me again to meet her in her hometown saying that it cannot get any better than us meeting in New year's Eve. I told her i cannot go there since i already have plans set for the holidays.
Then she told me she wants to study in the US some time next year ( this would make the distance between us even greater ) I said that if that's what she wants, she should go for it.
Yesterday, She started sharing her vacation plan for next summer and said she'd love if I go with her (one on one road trip). Afterwards we talked about having sex together ( in a funny way ) and she said there's no value in texting each other forever and that we should meet sooner rather than later. I seized the opportunity to ask her if she was interested in being in a relationship with one another to what she replied if that was a trick question and she does not want to put pressure on our first meeting...
I have to admit i'm really confused here after all the hints she gave me, I have no idea what "putting pressure on a meeting means " and i'd rather stay single than chase a girl around especially at this period of my life where i have most important things to focus on. I am not sure what to do next, should i cut ties with her ? | I followed the advice i was given here, asked if she was interested and got a weird answer ! I m kind of confused, not sure what the next step is... |
t3_4zv4c7 | relationships | Is my boyfriend(25) cheating? Looking for an outside opinion. | My boyfriend(m25)and I(f26) have known each other since High School and have been together about a year and a half now. He jokes it feels like we've been together a year for every month because were so comfortable with each other. One of the things we have in common is we are both pretty picky, some would say shallow. We moved in together in January and since then we've both gained weight. His just gives him a hint of a dad bod, but my 5'2 curvy stature makes my weight gain more..pronounced.
Because of this we haven't had sex in a while. A long while. We are both very sexual people. I am actively trying to lose weight but it takes more time to take it off than put it on. (just to clarify, he won't have sex with me because I'm fat and he's unattracted to me atm)
In the mean time, I found out he has been chatting up women. They all have turned out to be bots, so theres been no physical cheating(that I know of or was insinuated), but I still feel betrayed, while also understanding that porn isn't always enough. | Shallow boyfriend. I got fat. Hes been sexting online. I'm losing weight but in the mean time how do I trust him? Do I just get out? |
t3_3jon7w | relationships | My (28f) husband (26m) reads erotic lit, I think he's embarrassed. | So, I recently discovered my husband likes literature porn. I've caught him reading it a few times, but I never asked him about it. However, I have asked him if he used porn, which he said he didn't. I don't know if he's just too embarrassed to talk to me about it, but what do I do? I don't want to straight up call him a liar, especially if he's self conscious. I tried to broach the subject of porn in a non-judgmental, supportive way ("do you ever use it?" "I would be okay if you did") but he still denied using porn.
Is it different for guys if it's written? I mean, I know "smut novels" are a big thing among women, and it's not seen as a negative thing, just a "woman thing". Do I try to pry it out of him? Do I just leave it alone? It's okay for married couple to have their own private secrets, right? | discovered husband reads erotic literature, but told me he doesn't use porn. What should I do, if anything? |
t3_2dvs7m | relationships | I [23m] want to squash some bad blood with my ex [24f] | I'm just going to keep this brief, but I'm willing to give any details as requested.
My ex and I ended on really, really bad terms after a little over a year and a half together (she cheated with a good friend, I have no filter with words when I'm angry). Luckily, I started a new career shortly before we broke up and no longer had to see her at work. It was easy. We both moved on, and have SOs of our own now.
However, due to a temporary layoff, I'm back to working in the same building as my ex. Seeing her has really brought up all of these regrets from how we broke up and what was said, etc. I really just want to talk to her and air out everything and just come to terms with what happened. I don't want her back, but I don't want to have all this negativity between us.
What is a good way to go about this? Or is it even worth it? | I want to come to terms with my ex and I have no idea how to do it.. |
t3_gk7lx | AskReddit | My birthday was yesterday, and I recieved some money. Now I'm thinking of donating it to charity, is this wrong? | I discussed it with a friend, and she thought that my parents wanted the money to be used for something I wanted or something I needed. Although being a student I do have a well-paying part-time job, so money is not really that big of an issue for me. It's not like some extra money could be put into good use, but I figure it would do more be able to help someone less fortunate than I am. Since I don't really have time to do much volunteer work this is my way to contribute. I put away some of what I earn for future studies and whatnot, but the thought hit me about donating (some) of what I got for my birthday to charity. It's not a lot, just a couple of hundred dollars (if my exchange-values are not failing me). | Got money for birthday, thinking of donating it somewhere. Thoughts? |
t3_ednfn | AskReddit | My Girlfriend has a Body Odour problem, I don't think she knows, and it's really starting to affect our relationship. How do I tell her!? | Ok - first things first. I'm not trolling, but as this is Reddit, I'm fully aware of what I might have let myself in for (hence the fake account - and yeah I know the name doesn't help my case, but well, I'm desperate). I really don't know how to go about handling the matter so I figured I'd ask Reddit.
I've been with my GF for over a year - about 18 months in total and it's never been a problem before, but over the last couple of months I've noticed her becoming more and more fragrant and it's really starting to affect our relationship.
I find it *really* gross. It puts me off sex and just generally grosses me out. We've been having a bit of a rough time recently, and If I'm honest, the B.O. is my biggest qualm.
So Reddit. How do I go about telling her!? I figure I can't just come out and say it. I need to be more tactful than that, but how? Randomly dropping "so - what's your favorite anti-perspirant, I hear XYZ smells really good" isn't going to work. I love the girl and don't want to hurt her feelings, but if it doesn't get sorted out soon I'm going to have to dump her. It's *that* bad.
Am I being shallow!? We're not talking sweat sexy after sex perspiration, we're talking full on "you fucking stink girl". Please help! How do I tell her!?
Should I just come out and say it? I suppose I don't have anything to lose, as if she doesn't sort it out I'm going to have to break up with her anyway but at the same time I don't want to hurt her feelings or give her a complex.
Please help me Reddit. | My Girlfriend stinks - I'm not man enough to just tell her straight, how can I tell her without hurting her feelings? |
t3_3el55j | relationships | I [21M] am wondering if it's worth sticking it out with my current GF [18F] through our LDR until I see her in 2 months. | Hi /r/relationships,
I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past 2 and a half months or so. We have been together since mid May, and have been in a long-distance relationship since about mid-June. She visited me in early July, and I visited her a few weeks later. We both attend college and should be seeing each other again in about 2 months.
Lately she has become distant over text. I asked her about this, and she mentioned her busy schedule and struggle with anxiety/depression. I know she struggles with anxiety and depression, and tends to push people away when upset, despite all my efforts to try and comfort her. She also admitted to me that she relapsed and cut a little bit (something she apparently hasn't done in months).
Other than the periods of time when she is depressed, the relationship is perfectly normal and she is very affectionate. But in her depressive state, she barely communicates at all. I want to remind her that there are 2 people in this relationship and that I want to support her and that communication is key, but I am afraid she will just push me away even more.
On top of that, she has major sports obligations back at college, where her afternoons will be preoccupied roughly 6 days a week. For a few months. Between her mental health and sports obligations, I'm at a loss as to how often I will see her or what the relationship will be like.
I totally love this girl and she has said that she loves me. But I don't know if I can play the long-distance game for another 2 months given her tendency to push people away when they are trying to help. | Current GF is acting distant and blames it on mental health. I want to support her but I'm not sure whether sticking with it is the best course of action. |
t3_30yk9o | relationships | I think my roommate's [23 F] boyfriend [25 M] might be cheating on her. Do I talk to her? | My roommate (Alice) has been dating her boyfriend (Greg) for well over a year now...probably about a year and 3 months.
This weekend a friend of mine, Amelia, showed me pictures of a guy she met on Tinder--my roommate's boyfriend. Amelia isn't really friends with my roommate, but after a couple of weeks of chatting with Greg she realized who he was. Amelia wrote to Greg when it clicked with her who he was and said "I think I know you." ...and he never responded. This was late February.
So now I'm in a horrible position of should I tell Alice that Greg is on Tinder and talking to girls or no? I know that if my boyfriend were talking to people on Tinder I'd want to know, but I have no idea how open Alice and Greg's relationship is.
I've thought maybe I could talk to Greg, and tell him that I know that he's been on Tinder and is talking to other girls and that I'm really uncomfortable knowing this, but I'm also not really comfortable talking to him. I'm so scared of telling my roommate cause...idk why exactly actually. I just know that the idea of talking to her is making me literally feel sick to my stomach and I can't even think about anything else. I hate so much that I was put in this situation.
What would you do reddit? | Roommate's bf might be cheating on her. Should I say something to one of them and how? |
t3_4vb3ry | relationships | My (24M) girlfriend's (22F) favourite dress is the ugliest thing ever. How do I get her to stop wearing it? | I've been dating my girlfriend for three months now. Normally her style is pretty nice – simple/classic, like lots of one colour things, yeah I guess pretty simple and stylish.
She has this ONE dress though that I fucking hate. It's such an eyesore – its got otters all over it in like sailor hats and boats and that sort of thing. Think SUPER childish. The print is so busy, it makes me feel like my girlfriend has turned into a where's wally book. She honestly looks like a character out of a kids book in this thing and I have no idea why she is so obsessed with it. It wouldn't be as annoying if she only wore it occasionally, but it's literally her favourite dress. Like the first one she puts on after a wash – she would absolutely wear it once a week. She doesn't wear it to work though, she only wears it in her free time so she wears it ALL THE TIME when we're on dates.
I just find it really embarrassing. It's such a stupid childish dress and not appropriate for nice dinners and shows and stuff. I've tried to be as diplomatic as possible here – I've said stuff like "I love your blue dress, why don't you wear that tonight" and sometimes she'll take my suggestion but other times she'll be like "no I want to wear my favourite one!!" and so that's what she wears. It annoys me she doesn't take my feelings into consideration seeing as though she's going on the date with me, so surely she wants to look good for me?
She loves it because otters are her favourite animal, but I don't get it. I fucking love tacos but I'm sure as shit not going to wear a taco print jumpsuit out to the movies.
How do I tell her it's ugly without hurting her feelings and making her mad at me? Because at this point I'm honestly considering giving it to my dog and claiming it was an accident when he shreds it. | my girlfriend has a butt-ugly dress and wears it all the time. How do I get her to stop? |
t3_219iwy | relationships | How can I [20 M] deal with my extremely loud roommate [19 M] who talks down to me? | Background - I'm 6'1, not massively built but I regularly go to the gym. I'm not afraid to talk but I tend to be quiet socially. I'm in my first year at university living in university accommodation.
My roommate is bigger than me (also goes to the gym) but a little shorter in height. He is incredibly arrogant and outgoing. Shouts a lot, drinks, does drugs, boasts, listens to his music extremely loud. Despite all of this, I hate to admit it but he's very smart
Situation - A lot of the time he is nice and I can talk and get along with him. However, there are times where he will get extremely loud around me and subtly belittle me. It's hard for me to describe how he does this so I will give you an example.
Our kitchen is very small so it's hard for more than one person to cook at once. I start cleaning the pans for me to use and prepare my food to cook. He comes into the kitchen and starts to mention how it's going to get busy both of us cooking almost expecting me to stop my preparation and let him cook first (which I have done once before out of politeness). I try to be firm this time and tell him that I'm going to be using 3 of the 4 hobs and that I will go only be 20 minutes. A couple of minutes of back and forth occur until he then decides to proceed with his cooking. We share 2 of the hobs each (which is fair enough) and I just have to alter what and how I was planning to cook (not a big deal). During this whole time he was asking me endless weird questions (the same ones over and over) in a patronising voice, dancing around me and pretending to mess with my food. He does this all in a subtle way where I don't how to react to it.
I'm not sure if I've described the situation well enough for you to help but I'm looking on advice on how to handle this next time it happens. I'm not the best socially so any advice will be appreciated. Thanks | How should I handle the situation when my roommate acts like a cock around me? |
t3_nv3g0 | AskReddit | You're killing me reddit: Help me get over you. | I'm a freshman in college right now and all my grades are shot to hell. I suspect that it's largely the fault of my inability to focus combined with reddit and starcraft (silver for three seasons T^T). It's not like I haven't tried to slap myself silly and study; I've tried that thing with small rewards to large chunks of studying, blocking reddit on my laptop with my friend setting the password, even hiding my laptop. But I always end up watching two hours of spongebob or absentmindedly doodling the day away. Hell, as I was writing this post, I wandered off into the interwebs and watched an episode or two (or three) of Bob Ross.
So my question to you is, what are some things all you super attractive and successful redditors do to be the way you are? | Studying. Reddit. Starcraft. HALP! |
t3_206ahh | relationships | My boyfriend (16, m) broke up with me (16, f) after a difficult relationship | And I feel devastated. It was a really frustrating relationship but I didn't want it to come to an end. He broke with me after I asked him for a last chance.
We used to have lot of arguments where he would ask ME for a chance, and I always answered yes. We had these fights because when we were in our greatest times, he would suddenly do something that would really hurt me.
We're in the same class so I have to see him everyday. Even though we said we would keep being polite, he's just ignoring me. The worst thing is that I can see he's having a really hard time.
I don't understand how I feel. I don't know if I miss him or if I miss our relationship or being in a relationship. I know he was kind of a destructive type of person, but he gave me lot of things and also was my first real boyfriend. I've known him and liked him for a long time.
It has been 3 days since we really broke up and I feel I can't get better. The weird thing is that I was the one who was angry and now I ended up feeling like the one left behind... What can I do? | My boyfriend, from a really frustrating relationship, broke up with me and I can't get better. |
t3_4wnqho | relationship_advice | Should I tell my friend? | My boyfriend and I have a couple we've been friends with for about a year now, but we've always disapproved of the way the girl treats the guy. She cheated on him multiple times, broke up with him for a day to bang someone else, then got back with him (did that a few times), and is generally just really selfish and greedy. All of the initial cheating happened within the first few months of their relationship and she came clean and he forgave her.
Since then, we have discovered that she may have cheated a few more times, and kept quiet about it because we aren't very close with him and didn't know how true the things we heard were.
He just broke up with her yesterday, and today she told him she went back to the first guy she cheated on him with, and found out that she slept with more people while they were dealing with the first round of lies.
So he already knows she's a piece of shit.
He feels horrible and is crushed about all of it because she basically just took advantage of him this whole time when he thought she loved him. Now he's asking if we know about more times she cheated on him....Should we say what we know, or would it be unnecessary since everything is already over and there's no need to make him even more upset when we're not even sure what we heard was true? | Friend just broke up with girlfriend cause he couldn't get over infidelity. Asked if we know of any more times she cheated on him. We do, but are unsure of the truth of it. Should we tell him or would it just be unnecessarily added pain? |
t3_fdf01 | AskReddit | Need Help Calming down my Tech-illiterate Friend | Note: Don't get all up on my ass for piracy. That's not what this is about.
A friend and I wanted to try out Minecraft, so we used a pirated copy to try LAN play before buying. I installed the game on my XP desktop, my Win7 laptop, and his MacBook Pro. I scanned the game and it returned 0 infected files. Installed and played without incident.
A few days later, he experienced the white screen of death on his Mac, and now he's convinced that I am responsible. How can I convince my friend, who is tech-illiterate, that I didn't cause his system to fail, and that this failure was brought about by something else? | My friend blames me for hardware failure on his computer, even though I am certain I did not cause it. How can I convince him of this? |
t3_27n1kh | relationships | Me [23M] with [21F] 1 month, am I wrong for insisting on sexual monogamy early in a relationship? | Long story short, met a girl on Tinder, slept together after the second date, been sleeping together 2-3 times a week since. (About 3 weeks ago). She mentioned that a friend was coming into town that weekend and they had plans to sleep with each other. I told her that I'm not okay with that, and after a day of thinking about it, she agreed to only sleep with me (not anyone else).
I avoid sleeping around for two reasons:
1. STD prevention. I'm terrified of getting something, and condoms have broken on me before.
2. I can't care about someone romantically and be ok with them sleeping with other people. It's either some hookup I don't care about, or a girlfriend that I romantically love.
Is this fair? I feel like the past few people I've dated said it was okay, but I could tell they felt trapped. This most recent person seems to feel constrained about it, but I'm not really sure how to proceed. I've told her that until we are exclusive, I'm ok with her going on dates with other people to get to know them, but that she needs to tell me if she sleeps with someone. | is insisting on sexual monogamy early in the dating process a lot to ask? |
t3_3pqa0u | tifu | TIFU for burning drugs in front of all my friends | Well this actually happened 2 years back. I was a 10 years old kid back then and it was during summer holidays, so I met up with all my childhood friends and we had so much fun at my house. We were having a party actually, to celebrate the start of summer. After the party, we decided to go to my backyard to play as we use to do that when we were kids. So since there were 10 of us and we were all "grown ups" the place we use to hang out were quite small for us (Used to hang out in the tree house).
So behind my backyard, we saw a stack of "hay" it looks unusual and didn't really look like those regular hays you see out there. It was sort of dark green in color. We didn't really pay much attention to it because we were bored so we tends to play with anything. So one of my friend suggested that we burn the "hays" and see what would happen and we all agreed to it. So we took all the "hays" and brought it to some empty land to burn since I do not want to burn down my house.
So one of us took the lighter and decided to burn all of the hays. We stand away from the "hays" as it will get very hot and also it's summer so we stand away from it but stay around to look at how the "hays" got burn. So as it burns, more smokes were produced. Out of a sudden, we got really dizzy but happy at the same time. Some of us started laughing and going really wild. We were getting really high, we didn't know why until the police and firefighters came and then we realise what we burn wasn't really a "hay" but rather it was a drug called Weed.
The police brought us back to my house and told my parents everything, they were furious, but was glad that we were okay. The following day, I read the news and found out that the weed we burned, actually belonged to one of the gangs and they put it there to disguise as a "hay" so the police will not suspect anything. | burned "hay" and made all my friends really high and found out that it was actually weed that we burned. |
t3_3oj7e0 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my EX [23 F] 1month, Broke up, because I lied to her | Ok, so I was on here a few days ago with this story, at the time I was kinda angry about the whole situation, but now not anymore. So my GF broke up with me after finding out I ended my previous relationship a day after I got with her, and I lied about being single at the time, other than that, our relationship was A1. So two days have passed no communication, but I really liked her, and I was thinking what would be the best way to gage if there is a chance. I was going to text her tomorrow, to ask if we can talk after class Wednesday, but I don't know. | If you were in this situation as a woman, would that be a deal breaker, even if the relationship was great otherwise, would he have a chance for you to take him back? If so, what should he/I have to say/do? |
t3_3fis5w | relationships | Me [22M] and the Taiwanese girl [28?F] I play sports with | I'm currently living in Taiwan and recently started dancing with a local hip hop dance group. The group is really fun and has been very welcoming to me. It's become one of my main ways to socialize and exercise.
One of the lead dancers in the group is a local girl and after hanging out with her during the sessions and practicing together, I now have a big crush on her 😅
My Chinese skills are very limited (I'm studying, but not very good yet). I think her English seems fine, but she might be shy to speak with me 1-on-1 in English.
If this were any other scenario, I would just be direct and ask her to have dinner or go on a date. But I don't want to make things awkward among the group since I really do have fun hanging out with them.
I feel silly about this whole situation. I barely know her and yet, I have a high-school-era crush that's making me a little crazy.
What should I do? | I live in Taiwan and participate in a dance group with with locals. There's a girl in the group I have a crush on, what do I do? |
t3_2msi4r | relationships | Me [22/F] with my BF [28 M] 1 year. He gets bored of sex with every partner, including me. | During the first few months of our relationship, the sex was great. Four to six months in, we hit a slump and the frequency and quality decreased. We talked it out and the sex has improved.
However, he also confessed that he would get bored of having sex within a few weeks - this applied to all of his partners. He said the sex got too routine. As far as I know, he never broke up with anyone due to this. His past relationshups ended due to other reasons. I have a feeling that this is a more serious problem than the honey moon phase going away.
He reassured me that this is something he has struggled with internally. He is a competitive person and loves the thrill of the chase. He loves (the thought of) going on the prowl and the subsequent feeling of having consexual sex with someone. It's like winning a game for him. He said that he often fantasizes of having sex with other women but no one in particular. I understand he feels horny all the time or feels sexually attracted to other women and that's fine with me - he is a human being with hormones after all! However, I don't want that to interfere our relationship and sex life. If he's struggling with these temptations, shouldn't I be worried that he'll cheat? Or what if he gets bored of having sex with me in a year, or two years, or a decade from now? Apparently there is nothing I can do to ever rectify this. I can't be another woman every few months. If he gets bored, he might not want to have sex with me for months at a time...that would make me sexually frustrated and emotionally hurt. We always have vanilla sex and he isn't open to using toys or role playing. I just feel really lost about this. Is it worth staying together? He isn't sure if he will ever out grow these feelings, or if outgrowing them is even possible. He is adamant that he wants a monogamous relationship and he wants to be with me and only me. | My boyfriend has gotten bored of having sex within a few weeks with each of his partners, including me. He says he still loves me, promises to never cheat on me, and reassures me that his boredom has nothing to do with me, personally. Is this something we can overcome or is this a recipe for disaster? Is this a big deal or am I overreacting? |
t3_2ox0i2 | tifu | TIFU by passing gas next to a girl I like | So just 20 minutes ago I almost fucked up. A little backstory, I've been coughing for the past two years straight (yes a problem that have all doctors baffled as they can't find a cause for it.).
So here I am sitting in my college Calculus class, semi laying down in my chair next to a girl that I like because I am bored af (I took Calc in high school could have used credits, didn't, but that's another story). I'm browsing Reddit because, you know, and all of a sudden I go into a coughing fit and pffft. Luckily my college brain said "continue coughing to cover it up" and it worked. Reddit I have no fucking Idea how I survived that o_o | I coughed, farted, and quick thinking literally saved my ass |
t3_3bnakw | relationships | Me 32M with my wife, 27F of 3 years, should I ask for a report card? | My wife and I have a really good relationship, we have great communication and we get along and compromise very well. The only times I worry about our relationship is when she is tired, cranky, or moody. When she is tired, cranky, or moody she starts to bring up things that she doesn't like about our relationship. Often times, that will start the shame train of things I do or don't do. (E.g. "you don't write nice things about me on Facebook or write in our love journal like you said you would")
Sometimes after these times, she will apologize and admit that she was saying strange things, And that she didn't mean it, sometimes not.
We talked about this last night, and I'm curious how much of it is real concerns, and how much was wasn't. This morning, I thought I'd email her a husband report card, to see how I'm doing overall.
I'm worried calling her attention to it will sound like "You were mean, but did you really mean it? " | is the husband report card a good idea to see how she really feels? |
t3_3bp2di | askwomenadvice | Advice to help my relation with my sister. | I am male, and i am wondering how to get close to my sister. We are two different individuals. I don't know how to approach her, and I am not close to her as I was when I was a child. I am currently 17yrs old, and she is 20 atm. I have never been close to my family other than my mother, and our father took his life in 2011, and since then I have been more distant to my family as if it is non-existent. I decided to come to this sub-reddit wanting to see perspectives that could help my situation with my sister improve. When we talk to each other it usually is about an argument, food, or favors.
I don't talk to her, but it seems that she is an on and off relationship with her boyfriend who she has been going out for the passed maybe three years. They weren't together for a good couple months and it seems that he has showed up around the house once again. My sister is also trying to lose weight as well, and I want to talk to her again and not argue with her. I want to know how she is feeling, because atm it seems she is struggling.
I heard her crying in the bathroom, and I have never seen her do something like this before, and I can't just ignore it. I don't know what to do, am debating whether to confront her maybe later in the day or tomorrow. I don't know when I should though, or if I should. I just want to help though. | Sister was crying in the bathroom, want to help, don't know where to begin. |
t3_3tiil5 | askwomenadvice | I'm [21F] and [25M] Guy used to text a lot but doesn't text as much anymore | I posted this on /r/dating_advice too but I wanted to get your opinions here.
I've been going out with this guy I met on Tinder for about a month now, we've been on 3 dates, each of which has gone really well. We've also been texting at least 3-4 times a day, but up until about 5 days ago he's either not replied at all or has replied once a day. He hasn't said anything about not replying as often, but he has mentioned that he has a big college assignment due which he is working on.
I don't have a lot of experience dating and am still fairly insecure with it all. Has he lost interest or am I overthinking it all and he's just probably really busy? Should I message him again if he doesn't reply after a couple of days? | guy i've been on a few dates with used to text a lot but doesn't as much anymore, i'm not sure what to do. |
t3_1o1bw6 | relationship_advice | [24M] needs help about going to a wedding with a friend [24f] | Hello reddit, .. well.. here it goes..
She's my friend [24F]. Ever since highschool I've been crazy about her. She never showed any interest back then so, we kind of lost contact.. Recently (4-5 months) we've been chatting again, and have went out once (i've asked her out again like 3 other times, but she always seems to be busy).
A good mutual friend is getting married next week, so after lots of thinking and hesitation I thought what the hell (what was I thinking), and invited her to come with me to the wedding celebration and party. I sincerely expected her to throw out some excuse and bail out, but instead she instantly said something like "that sounds fun! sure, ill go!"
I'm the introverted kind of guy that struggles a lot with girls. I don't know even how I asked her. I hesitated for days. And now that she's agreed, I'm kind of freaking out. Especially since she's a very good dancer, it's like her favorite hobby. And I don't dance, I've never done it, hence I'm pretty sure I suck at it. This is my very frist close friend who is getting married, and all the previous weddings I've been at have been family related. I was practically forced to go.
I was hoping maybe someone could give me some advice on how to go about all this in general... what is she expecting from me, if anything? I feel like I will just black out from the nerves... and if you happen to enjoy dancing I could probably use some advice on that too.. | I didnt think my friend (I like her very much) [24F] would agree to come with me to a friend's wedding party, but she did, and I'm pretty much freaking out, especially (but not only) because I can't dance and she's very good at it. |
t3_w3l5v | relationships | My wife asked me why when a half naked girl walks by I automatically look... I told the truth. | Us in our late 20's. Together 7 years, Married 6 years. My wife apparently never understood men and I am only her second real relationship. She asked me last week why I look if a girl walks by.
I explained to her how men have a radar and can pretty much pick a girl out of a crowd and can't help it. It doesn't mean anything and I usually look away.
She was hurt. She took it as if I had cheated on her by being honest about the way men work and how we evolved etc and I just went into too much detail.
We fought for the last week and I've finally told her, look its how men work, I could get hard from just getting up off the couch too fast, it doesn't mean I want to hump the couch. Automatically focusing on an attractive lady because she walks by doesn't mean I have any intentions or thoughts about it.
She doesn't understand how much I love her and is really hurt and in a lot of pain. She said she understands but can't help feeling hurt and that she still loves me but is afraid I will run off with some girl. She expected more from me as a good/moral man. Somehow I disappointing her by being human.
Any advice? | Wife saw me glancing at people without really realizing it, I told her how men work, she thinks I am a cheater |
t3_y5lye | loseit | Please help me with late night munchies advice. | I have been lurking on this sub reddit for a long time now,reading people's stories, seeing you give each other helpful advice. I think it's great that there is such a place to come for support. I've always been big, fat, husky and all of the sizes in between. It wasn't until I became disabled (I was working an active job as an apprentice carpenter) that I crossed into obesity and morbid obesity status. I've cut my portion sizes, have been trying to stick with healthier foods. (thanks [r/nutrition] and have begun to get small amounts of exercise. I also watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, and will soon be doing a 10 day juice cleanse. (thanks [r/Juicing] I've gotten a wealth of information from all over reddit for my weight loss journey to good health. I am still left with a burning question and I'm not sure where to ask it. I think this might be as good a place as any, so here it goes. I smoke pot. I'm an adult and I'm not looking for support in this decision(that's why I've avoided posting this on [r/trees] just in what inevitably comes after. I get the munchies. If any of you smokes you know what this can be like, and if not the only way I can think of describing it is, an overwhelming all consuming desire to have different tastes, textures, and delicious foods in your mouth NOW. I usually only smoke late in the evening so my normal desire for snacks while watching TV or what not is compounded exponentially. Should I just try to make it through with some fruits and veggies? Have any of you solved similar problems, maybe just conquering late night binge eating? What are some healthy, varied (taste and texture) snack foods I can enjoy?
Note: I love to cook, and defiantly don't mind preparing things during the day that I can easily go for at night, keeping in mind that any kind of complicated nighttime preparation is liable to suffer due to my inebriated state.
Sorry for the wall of text.
Thank you in advance for any advice that you can give. | I need to find healthy munchies for when I'm stoned. |
t3_b2a89 | AskReddit | I can haz friendship? | Here's the deal - I'm a normal geek type guy with a normal life. I've had sex plenty of times (consensual and legal you sick fuck) and have had a good amount of friends in my life - until I moved to where I am at (to remain undisclosed.) Here in this particular part of the country there isn't exactly many people who have much in common with me. I'm your standard love to read, play xbox live, tinker with my all kinds of electronics geek who when I finish my degree in 6 months am looking for friends to move in with *anywhere* in the country. I am so tired of all the damned football playing, gun toting hicks white trash rednecks and fucking dumbasses here.
So will you be my friend? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease? | This place sucks and I want to move in 6 months - wanna be my fwend? Also, I am totally willing to talk to ppl over AIM client per request. |
t3_2a2gb9 | relationships | Help me interpret a text from my employer. Am I being let go? | I [19/F] am a student working a part time job at a restaurant under the supervision of my [?/M] employer.
I was recently hired as a part time cashier at a local restaurant. We arranged at the beginning that I would work Mondays-Wednesdays and some weekends.
My employer asked me to work the first weekend because one of the cashiers was on vacation. He mentioned that I could have a flexible schedule. I offered to draw up a calendar of good days for me to work. He thought it was a good idea.
The week after I worked my first weekend, I worked on Monday. Monday night after my shift, he told me he had enough staff for Tuesday and Wednesday and wouldn't be needing my services. He said he would get back to me about working the following week.
Fast forward to today, Monday. I texted him informing him that because of summer school I wouldn't be able to work Tuesday or Wednesday but would be available today (Monday) and the weekend.
He thanked me for getting back to him and told me:
" Thanks for getting back to me! Our cashaier is back from vacation, she can fill in most of the shifts. You can come by next week to pick up a check. Thanks, [Employer]"
Sooooo Does this mean that I've been let go? Did I perform badly so he is letting me down easy? Or is this something employers don't do?
I'm confused because it sounds like he won't be needing me any longer but he hadn't indicated that I would be only filling in for someone on vacation and even talked like I would be working there for a while.
How do I proceed? | Can't tell if I'm being let go? |
t3_2ik908 | relationships | I'm [22M] new to love, when should I suggest escalating to sexual stuff with her [19F] (1.5 Weeks)? | Hey, guys, awkward guy with an awkward question. I'm happily in a relationship with a slightly younger woman, and although she has been in a few relationships, most of them have been shitty, and she's never done more than kissed anyone. In stark contrast, she's my first girlfriend ever, and it feels like I'm walking in an emotional minefield, even though I totally know that this isn't the case. There's very little I could do, outside of physically, emotionally, or verbally abuse her that would actually drive her off (mind you, I would never do any of those, it makes me physically ill.)
I know this is going to sound perverted. I've not even been with her for two weeks (we're already kissing, though, and though we both recognize that we're going fast, I think we are both incredibly comfortable with each other.) As I said, I've never had any experience outside of this relationship, and I've not really follow my friends' relationships (I don't really like to pry.)
All of this said, when is a proper time for a man to suggest and/or initiate sexual contact? I'd use the base analogy if I ever could understand it, but unfortunately, I don't, and this post is being written against a clock at the moment. I understand it's likely a few months off, but I am truly curious. It isn't an obsession, but with how close we are already, I'm beginning to believe that it's almost an inevitability.
Thanks a lot for any feedback, I'll likely come back and edit this later, but I'm literally running out the door! | I've never had any experience in a prior relationship, and neither does she. When is the best time to advance our relationship to the intimate level? |
t3_3uad4n | relationships | Me [28 M] with my gf [28 F] 4yrs, is this acceptable behavior or am I crazy? | Ok.
So we have been living together for years and things were always fine. In the past year, I have been studying for and taking the CPA exams so that I can make more money, be more successful, etc. it's a LOT of work. I legit have been studying for 2-4 hours every day for the last 11months and to date am 3/4 of the way done.
During this time, the gf has begun drinking a lot, mostly as a result of a friend of hers that randomly decided she's 21 again and thinks getting wasted on a work night is a good idea. She regularly tries to pressure me into going out to drink and acts like I don't like her or her friends when I decline.
I am studying full time so I can't afford the nights out or the hangovers the following day. I have talked to her about this multiple times. She keeps going out without me.
I am upset that she doesn't seem to care at all that I would LIKE to
go out but literally cannot. And she parades it past me every weekend.
Fast forward to right now, and she is downstairs in my house with like 15 people who are drinking and YELLING before they go out to the bar. They have already been here for an hour. I take my last exam on Saturday so I'm in anxiety freakout mode studying.
Is this massively disrespectful or am I over reacting? | GF doesn't seem to care that I need to study, gets wasted all the time, and has parties in my house when I'm trying to study. |
t3_31jtqq | relationships | My [18f] emotional and self-conscious girlfriend of 4 months dumped me [19m] today even thought she says I am perfect. | After 3 great months and 1 more of some difficulties, busy schedules and failed communication on both parts, my first real relationship is over.
She told me this morning she wasn't ready for a relationship and that she needs to put herself together first and focus on her. That is the first time a girl has told me anything like that and I don't know how to make this shitty feeling go away.
She says its not my fault and that its her, but I know I've messed up too.
It wasn't anything like this months ago, I don't know what made her feel this way now.
I told her to do her own thing and to keep the things I've given her, and to not let anyone put her through the things she's already been through. There's one really crappy problem, I don't know if I should tell her or not.
She's a really big fan of Fleetwood Mac and she was so disappointed when her dad who forced her to not get a job, didn't let her get her own tickets.
So I saved up money without telling her to buy a pair for us to go this friday. She still doesn't know and I don't know what to do with the tickets. Also any advice on how to not feel like this would really be appreciated.
# | First real relationship is over, need advice on feeling better and how to deal with purchased concert tickets. |
t3_342967 | relationships | My [28F] boyfriend [29M] of 1 year semi-broke up with me, then immediately changed his mind. Need some guidance. | A few days ago, my boyfriend who I love a ton and see myself with forever semi-broke up with me. He told me he was scared he couldn't make me happy enough... that I needed too much and he wasn't sure he could give it to me. He said he thought this was something innate in me, that couldn't change.
I completely broke down, but then after an hour or so we realized this was a changeable thing (I've been taking him for granted. He does the most amazing things for me all the time, and I've just gotten used to it so haven't been appreciating it like I need to), so he decided he did not want to break up. He realized he should've just brought this issue up to me as a discussion a month ago when he started to feel it, but he didn't know how and was scared. He's introverted and not confrontational at all, whereas I bring up every issue I have with him because I think that's healthy. He promised that next time something comes up, he'll tell me right away instead of letting it build up in his head.
We had an amazing weekend together. He told me I'm the love of his life, that he knows 200% now that he wants to be with me, and that he made a huge, dumb mistake by trying to break up.
I'm ecstatic that we aren't breaking up, but I'm just so confused and so blind sighted. The thought that keeps running through my head is, how can we make it long term if he was willing to give me up? How do I get over that?
So if there's anyone out there who has gone through a similar situation, I'd love some insight. | Boyfriend semi-broke up with me, but we stayed together. Now I'm wondering how to get over it. |
t3_2n84v3 | relationships | I'm [38F] annoyed my BF [30 M] of 3 yrs shows no sign of proposing... | I've had to sit through the BF's family's weddings, and he's no objections to the institution of marriage itself - but theres just no sign of him asking me.
I'm divorced, and have had a drunken (me) conversation with him (sober) about how one of the big relationship regrets I have is that no one ever asked me to marry them, and how - despite being divorced - I see marriage as really important - especially since there are all the legal position aspects to it (whether or not you should be able to do all of that without getting married is another topic altogether!).
We have a joint mortgage together. We have a pet together. Our relationship is very serious and I love him to bits. I'm pretty sure he feels the same about me. But his complete non-interest in making our relationship "official" is bringing me down so much and has been for a few months now.
After the last family wedding I had to sit though, we talked and he informed me that he had been "planning" to ask me when we went on holiday - but that he couldn't do that now since I had "ruined" the surprise by "making" him tell me....not that we can afford to go on holiday anyway - so if I'm completely honest I don't think I believe him. Which is sad, because it's the only time I think he's ever lied to me.
I know that I should be happy with what I've got, but I'm not. I'm not after one of these "Bridezilla" marriages - I've no family and would be more than delighted if he was just me and him and a witness off the street, so it's not a question of money.
I could ask him to marry me, but then I know I will always wonder whether he actually wanted to marry me or just went along with it because it was easier like my ex, and I desperately don't want that to happen.
I can't see a way round this at all, and I find myself wondering sometimes about walking out - I can't help thinking I'd rather be single than wondering why I'm not good enough. | Been together 3 years, BF shows no sign of wanting to get married and it's getting me down. |
t3_z0cc8 | relationships | M[24] ~~F[29, 23, 26]~~ With three failed relationships over the past 16 months, I'm beginning to doubt that what I'm looking for is realistic? | M(24) just had to break it off w/F(26) tonight...4 months.
I'm an active, young professional and relatively career focused. I'm not ready to settle down for a few more years, but I still long for the fun and companionship that only a girl can provide. I have had the hook ups of college, as well as a some serious relationships under my belt. Neither seem like a good fit for where I am in life right now. Is there a happy middle ground? In the last 18 months I've had 3 failed attempts to find some with the most recent ending tonight. They've all developed into more than I bargained for, and all ended with someone getting their feelings hurt. I'm tired of getting heart broken or breaking hearts. | Is having fun and companionship really a possibility without it getting serious? or does it always have to turn into more? |
t3_1q2lxc | relationships | Me [18F] with my boyfriend [17M] of a little over a month, feel like I really screwed things up with Christmas gifts. | So. My boyfriend and I have only been dating a very short time, and I really think I blew it with Christmas gifts. We're both Seniors in high school, and we both have jobs. I bought us concert tickets for $100, a shirt for him for $30, and supplies to make this other thing for him for like $10. So I guess you could say that I spent about $90 on him. I asked for a little Tiffany pendant that was like $100 or so. He was really uncomfortable with that, said he didn't want to spend that much on our first Christmas together, and pointed out that we've only been dating a short time.
I feel horrible. I'm in no way greedy, I just thought an everyday pendant would remind me of him, be stylish, etc. He says that buying jewelry is rushing things (he seems to put more of a significance on jewelry than I do). I feel like I've already ruined our relationship before it's begun. Should I be worried? What should I do? | I spent too much on Christmas shopping. Boyfriend of one month is uncomfortable. What should I do? |
t3_1qvxpb | relationships | I [f19] am afraid of my boyfriend [m19] brother [m21], which is an issue now that we're all moving in together. | Short story long:
My boyfriend and I will be moving in with his brother in a couple months. Which is great, we've already practically been living together anyway. I opportunity presented itself to move in with his brother who has a spare room and wants help paying rent so he can buy himself his big boy toys.
It's a great opportunity and I really like the fact that he's helping us out like this, by giving us a place to stay.
The only problem is that he tends to (and not on purpose) frighten me.
I'll give you the most recent example and maybe you guys can help me figure out why it is I'm reacting this way.
So, the three of us are over at the brothers house. They are playing video games and I'm cleaning the kitchen and trying to cook. He lives like a bachelor: clothes everywhere, dirty dishes, rotten food, eating nothing but taco bell. My back is to both of them, and I'm looking through the fridge trying to find something that didn't expire 4 months ago. The brother gets up and walks towards the fridge. I hear him coming, I know he's there, he doesn't startle me, he announced his want of looking in the fridge so I shouldn't have gotten so scared. But I did. I can't really explain it. I just became suddenly nervous, on the verge of being terrified. I rushed to get out of away avoided his eye contact and just stared at the floor while starting to have the precursors to a panic attack. I just mumble out a sorry and just started shaking and sat down next to my boyfriend and trying to just disappear into the couch.
This isn't even the first time this has happened in association with my boyfriends brother. He's harmless, really scrawny and kinda dorky looking, not at all threatening. But for some reason whenever I see him coming or he gets to close I just get terrified for no reason.
I guess what I'm asking is: Is this behavior normal? Am I overreacting? If so how do I keep these overreactions in check? | Being around my boyfriends brother makes me panic and I want to know if this is normal. |
t3_v3903 | AskReddit | "Minorities" of Reddit: do you ever think about how represented you are in design? | I've done a lot of work managing web and print projects, often for local government or charity-type organisations.
There's a special kind of middle-management panic when a design is produced which shows people in it: "we have to be representative! We must show at least one woman, several ethnic groups, and if possible someone with a disability!". This is rarely a problem, but when a design shows just one person, there seems to be an awful white middle class guilt horror taking over; "who are we going to show? WHO?".
Don't get me wrong: on a design with lots of photography a good mix of images should be pretty diverse and usually is without thinking about it. But I've seen it get to a ridiculous level: no official "ratios", but certainly to the point that we need to photoshop someone in to an image to make it more "diverse", or hold a photoshoot to replicate a stock image of someone so we've got several options to cycle through.
Now, when I visit a site or see a design, I don't really notice if an image is a man or woman or what ethnic group they belong to... but then I'm white and middle class. So I've been wondering if the extra expense, development work (randomly changing images...), photoshoots, and hand-wringing is actually worth it? Does anyone who's actually supposed to be represented care that much?
Also, I now feel like a massive racist, so I'm as guilty as anyone of the white middle class guilt thing. | are bureaucrats right to spend time and money making design as "inclusive" as possible, or do people really not care, as long as it's not just carelessly white male middle class? |
t3_eycu2 | AskReddit | I patented an invention. I wish to sell the patent. Need input from the Hive, like Johnny-Five. | I invented a new type of kick scooter, and after building a fun-ass prototype, successfully patented it a fews years back.
After exploring the possibility of having this product actually manufactured and building a business from scratch, and letting the patent sit on the shelf for a couple of years, I've decided to simply try and sell (or lease) the patent outright to an already-established company or corporation.
Short of an angel investor, I simply don't have the capital or resources to create a start-up competitor in the industry...yadda yadda, you know the story.
What I'd love to have from my fellow redditors is any insight, advice, or commentary on this whole endeavor.
Here is the website for the product/patent:
Know any viable contacts in the industry? What companies should I probably approach? Should I target manufacturers, distributors, or actual stores? How should I go about it? Anyone here ever sold or bought a patent or invention or idea before?
What do you think of the idea/patent itself? Good, silly, brilliant, ridiculous? How about the website I threw up, any good? | I patented an invention. . What do you think? Also, **AMA**. |
t3_1xonxy | relationship_advice | I [19/M] am afraid of trivializing my new girlfriend [20/F] after we have sex. | Hello Reddit.
I'm now entering my first relationship in over a year. I have spent the last two semesters talking to a lot of different girls, and on two occasions I had fwb situations with some of them. Sunday I went on a date with an awkward (but very smart and sweet) girl who spends a lot of time in solitude. She is much less experienced than I am. When we kissed on Sunday she got really into it and I could tell that she was way more excited and into me than I to her. I don't know if she can separate her physical desires from the reasons she likes me. I on the other hand, am worried that too much physicality is going to devalue her to me. I want a relationship based on our admiration for one another, but I'm afraid that having sex (as I'm sure many men can relate) will have an impact on the way I look at her. To me she is very innocent because she's inexperienced. I'm afraid that sex will put me into too much of a mentality of power over her, instead of me seeing her as an equal. First off is this unreasonable? Second, what can I do to fix it, or is there no hope in trying? | Afraid of sex in a relationship bcuz emoshunzzz even though I don't have a problem hooking up. I guess. |
t3_1zc0ry | loseit | Advice to stop going out to eating unhealthy food? | So, I've been lurking on here a while and started counting my calories and limiting them at the beginning of January. While I've been having success and losing weight that way, I'm also signed up for a twice-weekly karate class at my university that'll start in a couple of weeks. However, just these past couple of weeks, I've been really craving fast food and chinese. And I've been caving far too often. I don't have a lot of money, so this is hurting my wallet as well as my health. even though I'm still limiting my calories, I know that the types of food also make a huge difference as well. Anyway, I was hoping that some of you have some suggestions to help me with lowering how often I eat out. Is it just a battle of the wills? Should I just force myself to making healthier eating out choices, which will at least be better for myself rather than my wallet? Any suggestions would be helpful. | How do I curb my eating out habits? |
t3_uke3n | AskReddit | Which parent do I live with? Help. | So, last night I told my mom I wanted to move to my dads. Since I've been born my parents have been fighting for custody over me. The struggle has always been me wanting to move to my dad's, but my mom convincing me. Let me explain the two situations real quick. At my dad's, I spend the summers. We bowl leagues (proffesional stuff) go shooting, we're going to fix up a car, we do a lot of things. My step mom's son Nicky moved out there so I'd also have someone there to keep me company after school until the parents get home. My mom, her boyfriend and I live in a small but nice apartment. My brother just went off to college so I get pretty lonely. However my mom just got a new job, allowing her to work less hours and is closer to home. She also said we would start doing things on the weekends to keep me from being less lonely. I didn't know that she would be working less hours or that we would do things on the weekends, and now I'm lost. I've already told my dad I was thinking about moving out, who has been waiting years for me to finally do it, every year I wuss out and I feel like I dissapoint him and just keep getting his hopes up. I'm really confused right now and have no idea what to do. I need advice. I can't really prove any of this, I guess all I can give ya is that I can't think of any sick bastard who would make up the shit I've gone through for attention. I'm really just asking for help here. | I used to be lonely at my mom's, so i said I wanted to move to my dad's, but she got a new job so she'll be at home more and now I'm confused on what to do. |
t3_p8lwv | relationships | Doubting my commitment to current relationship. | Basically, I'm 19[m] and she's 18. We've been so in a relationship for about a month and I'm starting to doubt my own commitment to the relationship.
Before we got together I'd just been seeing other girls casually, nothing serious, like hookups, dates and just stuff like that really, but then we suddenly took a plunge and went straight into a relationship. I thought it was a good idea at the time because I knew we both liked each other, but looking back on it, I feel like it was a mistake.
I do miss just 'seeing' people a lot, and not having to worry about all this relationship business, but I wanted to be in a relationship for so long and now it's happened and I miss it all. I'm scared to break it off just in case I hurt her feelings, so I hoped you'd be able to help me. | Doubting my commitment to current relationship, miss seeing people, don't want to hurt gfs feelings. |
t3_32atqd | relationships | My roommate [22/M] of three years is an alcoholic. I [22/M] feel like I could have helped, but now coming home just makes me depressed and I don't even want to be around him anymore. | My roommate and I were friends in high school and came to college at the same time. Things were mostly okay for the first couple years, but then he started drinking and staying in more and I started spending more time with girlfriends. Nowadays he pretty much only leaves the house to go to class or buy groceries. He gets drunk probably six nights a week. I've seen him passed out on the couch more times than I can count. This is kind of only part of us growing apart.
He's also gotten really argumentative; he was always opinionated but nowadays it seems like every time we talk it's a pointless argument over something completely inconsequential. The apartment never gets any cleaner unless I do something about it. Trash goes unemptied, dishes go unwashed, and the floors just aren't clean at all. He watches TV pretty much all day. I always know when he's home because I can hear his TV in my room at any hour. Lately he's been keeping odd hours; going to bed at 7:30 and then waking up and watching more TV around 12 or 1, which has woken me up on a few occasions, as has him watching TV in the early hours of the morning.
I'm honestly afraid to say anything. He's threatened me with a knife on several occasions. I don't think he has any respect for me. We disagree politically, and I think he thinks I'm weak for it. He's graduating in May but our leases don't expire until August; I have a job in the next town over but I haven't figured out my living situation for the summer (or for the fall) just quite yet. I thought about staying at the apartment, but honestly if he stays here over the summer I'm not going to. I don't even feel welcome here anymore.
I'm bummed out because I feel like I could, *should* have stepped in at some point. But he's too proud and too stubborn to listen to anyone else, especially me. And now I feel like my living situation being like this is my fault. | my roommate is (possibly inadvertently) making my living situation really depressing. We only have a few months left together, so is it worth saying/doing anything? Maybe I just needed to vent. |
t3_y02ma | relationships | What did I do that my boyfriend's friends don't like me? [18m/19f] | Sorry this might be kind of long.. but any input would be grateful here
So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for now almost a year. In the beginning he took me to meet his friends, and we all got along great. We all had the same interests. I'm into video games just as much as they all are. It was awesome because we all played the same games, and when we would hang out everyone had the same movie tastes and everyone could peacefully agree on something to do or watch.
(I'm not one of those girlfriends that constantly needs the attention on her, and I'm definitely not one that needs to make the decisions for everyone.) Basically, I went along with everything my boyfriend and his friends wanted to do, and I honestly didn't mind because I enjoyed the things we did.
Fast forward to the past couple of months, and now his friends won't play any games with us because we are "bad at them". I'm no professional at games, but I'm not completely terrible either. We are all average casual gamers. Needless to say, I was hurt that they didn't want my boyfriend or me playing with them anymore. Also, the last times that we all hung out they would say somewhat rude comments to me, and I would brush them off, try and laugh, and then try to forget about it.
Now, I have been nothing but nice to his friends. Some of the things that I've done for them are having them over for LAN parties, just having them over to hang out, letting them eat my food, borrowing them money when we went out for food, bought one of them a birthday cake, gave one of them a haircut, when one of them bought computer parts, I put together his whole computer for him, and when they would need girl advice they came to me, and I always tried to help them out to the best of my ability.
I'm just wondering what I did wrong that they aren't barely speaking to my boyfriend anymore. They haven't tried to talk to me either for about a month and a half. I'm at a loss here. | boyfriend's friends won't talk to him or me anymore, and I have been nothing but friendly to them throughout our whole relationship. |
t3_2l37xi | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of almost 5 years broke things off and have no idea where to go from here | This may seem relatively minor in comparison to a lot of other situations that get posted about or happen around here, but I'm just not really sure where to go right now. My girlfriend and I have been together since around my senior year of high school, and recently broke up around a week ago due to a number of differences between each other over the years as well as distance. I suppose my problem now is trying to deal with not having that other person there to lean on. I'm discovering that I don't know if I'm really missing her or the fact that I have that significant other there to always be able to talk to and just simply share what all I'm doing on a daily basis. Just having the person to send a text and update with what I'm doing in my day and be excited for me is what is difficult. I'm not really a too lonely person, and live on my own and have never had any problems, but that is sort of the gist of it. It's gotten to the point that even if I'm having a friendly conversation with someone and I don't hear back from them for a while/at all for the rest of the day that I start getting down on myself. If I keep myself occupied with work/games/exercise/etc it's not really too bad, but just when I'm alone at night with nothing else really do to it sets in and hurts. I should probably also say that I've never had to go through a breakup as my ex was my first girlfriend and this could easily be standard stuff and I'm just not really experienced. I apologize if this is kinda of rambling, but it's basically stream of consciousness off the top of my head so yeah. | Broke up with girlfriend of 5 years, lonely and don't know where to go from here. |
t3_4i3k6y | AskDocs | Waking up sick and sweaty. | Most nights I've been waking up because my upper stomach hurts, like I'm really nervous, and I'll be sweating a lot. Im a 22F. 5' 7", 160lbs, and white. This has happened on and off for maybe the past 3-4 years.
I had my gallbladder taken out six years ago, so it's not that. Ive also been tested for Celiacs, porpyria, H. Pylori, etc. Sleeping with the fan on and with a pillow under my stomach is the most managable solution I've found.
I'm thinking that they may be stress dreams, because I have extremely vivid and weird dreams every night. Although, my pain sometimes come and goes, the weird dreams have been constant for years.
Ill wake up with my hair wet from sweat, and basically shaking with the "nervous" like stomach pain.
I don't really drink, or have any nutritional issues. Eating before bed, or not, or any hacks of that nature, haven't been successful.
I'm on an antidepressant, anticonvulsant, and a benzodiazepine for depression (currently, Lexapro, Ativan, and Lamictal). I also see a therapist monthy, and she can't figure out why I'd feel this way. We even tried some different medications, which didn't help. I've been taking medication for years, with good results and without any problems (mystery pain happened even without meds). Sometimes I'll wake up and have to take a benzo to basically calm myself down, so my body can start feeling better.
Not sure it's relevant, but I've had insomnia for years. I've had all sorts of tests done, and it has been the best managed by Doxepin. Medication has had no change on the waking up feeling so sick and sweaty. Also, just throwing it in there that I usually wake up at least once a night to pee and because my fingers fell asleep and go numb. Both seem to happen regardless of the position I sleep in, or how much liquid I drink. | Does anyone wake up anxious and sweaty with stomach pain? Does anything help? |
t3_l9eyr | AskReddit | Let's be constructive, Reddit: what advice would you give to forever-alones who want to get laid/find a girlfriend? | There's a lot of posts taking the piss out of forever-alones, particularly the ones that call them shallow or self-entitled for thinking they deserve a hot, caring girlfriend. As if it's a bad thing to want the girl of your dreams. The problem is, the forever-alone male often has no clue how to change his fate, so it seems like he's just bitching on the internet about how girls don't throw themselves at him.
So Reddit, what advice would you give a forever-alone guy who wants to change his fate and is willing to put in the effort, but has no idea where to start? Feel-good, banal advice like "just be yourself" or "get more style" is useless: your student is utterly clueless and needs to have his hand held. You need to give him internet links to resources, thorough explanations of how to have simple social interactions, give him people to emulate, etc.
Small rant, this kind of meticulous advice is what PUAs try to give to lonely guys, it's pretty for the hivemind to knock PUAs and not offer any help themselves | If your best friend was a massive forever-alone and told you he would kill himself if you didn't help him find a hot girlfriend by the end of the year, how would you help him succeed? |
t3_3t6wlb | relationships | My SO [24M] and I [23F] have been so busy/stressed lately. Together 1.5yr. Advice on bringing back the spark with little time/energy available for intimacy? | Looking for ideas!
My boyfriend and I both work. I have final exams (graduating this December!), he is an accountant, we have a needy dog (who we LOVE), and we just moved into a new house together.
With:
-Moving
-Cleaning
-Unpacking
-Studying
-Working
-Dog-care
-Family Events (Ex. Middle school basketball games)
-Friend Events (Ex. Thursday night football group)
Offered to make the boyfriend a bubble bath yesterday for his achey muscles. Being mocho, this was not at the top of his list and instead we spent hours unpacking and then we were so tired we went straight to bed.
What are some little things some of you throw in when your schedules are conflicting or just too full? | Advice on bringing back the spark when we have little time/energy available for intimacy? Our schedules don't really slow down until April! |
t3_35aury | relationship_advice | Just ended up my long-term relationship. How long must I wait until I ask out my Office Girlfriend? | I was in a committed relationship with a woman my age (I am 41/m), and it finished two weeks ago. I was emotionally down, but I was able to cope because I had the support of a very nice co-worker (she is 29/f). We have gotten really close these days, we spend all our lunches together and talk for hours. I am really liking the every day life with her, besides, she is really pretty and nice (she is very different from my ex-fianceé).
My question is; How do I know I am really in love with her and not suffering from some kind of rebound? How long must I wait? How can I find out? | Broke off engagement recently, want to date my office girlfriend, quite confused. |
t3_4pwup5 | relationships | My [17 M] Girlfriend [17 F] keeps talking to other guys on Skype behind my back. | So me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 weeks now, everything is going alright but recently she met this dude online who she plays League of Legends (an online MOBA) with and has been playing with him till late at night.
She knows the guy likes him, because the guy told her that he did. One day I asked to play with them because I'm curious about what they are doing and talking about in the Skype call but she refuses to let me join in and makes excuses to avoid letting me join. I want to talk to her about it, but I feel like it would make me come off as clingy because we have barely been dating. | My girlfriend is skyping some other dude for 6 hrs late at night behind my back and I dont know if I should confront her about it because we havent been dating for that long. |
t3_2iewkg | relationships | My (18m) girlfriend (18f) of 2 years is rude towards me in front of her friends. What do I do?!?! | We have been going out for almost two years, and the first 18 months were absolutely amazing, we couldn't get enough of one another. As it goes the "spark" dies down a little bit, but I was expecting it.
Although what I wasn't expecting was how attitude to change. For example, just a few weeks ago we were at a party with all of her friends (I knew a few but they were her friends from school). On arrival she didn't say hi and spent the whole night telling everybody how much of a (sorry, I hate this word so much) faggot I am, and how I have no friends etc.
Things like this have been happening for a while now, but only happens when there are other people around. On top of that, if we are at a social event I am lucky if she spends a grand total of 5 minutes talking to me, but every other guy in he room seems like the most interesting person in the world.
She was the nicest person I had ever met when we first met, but now I find it hard to spend time with her if there are other people involved.
Somebody please help!!! | when my girlfriend is around her friends she turns into a bitch |
t3_376k9n | relationships | Me [18 M] think I might have got my GF [17 F] pregnant, and I'm freaking out. | So, my girlfriend of 8 months just told me she got a metallic taste in her mouth which is apparently an early sign of pregnancy.
We had sex 2 days ago and I finished inside of her. I didn't use a condom because we thought we would be okay as she had the implanon implant.
I'm currently freaking out because if she really is pregnant, I'm just not ready. If she was pregnant I wouldn't just get up and leave, im not that kind of person.
I'm thinking of how much itll affect our lives as we are both heading off to college in September.
Advice would be greatly appreciated. | Possibly got girlfriend pregnant, not ready for a baby, What do? |
t3_2xiya9 | relationships | Me [25M] with my GF [23F], she doesn't give me privacy. always going through my stuff and questioning me. | My [23f] girlfriend and I [25M] have been together for 1.5 years. She is nosy and always wants to know what I'm doing or who I'm talking to. She has my passwords to my phone and computer, I don't use any social media. I really don't care because I have nothing to hide.
I give her privacy but she doesn't do the same and responds with vague answers when I ask her why she's like this, she just responds with "just because" and "because I can."
I don't go through anything of hers and don't ask for any of her passwords to her phone, computer or social media websites etc.
Any idea about why she does this? | Why doesn't my gf give me privacy? |
t3_3lbz12 | relationships | How soon is too soon to move in? F-23, Male, 29 | I'm the female here, and have dating my boyfriend for about six months now. Recently my lease has ended for my apartment, and the struggle to find replacements and a new lease has been pretty difficult. My boyfriend has been suggesting I just move in with him, and although it'd be temporary until I find a lease, I have serious reservations.
I've brushed off the subject, and have briefly said that I didn't think it was a good idea.
A) I'm worried it's too soon
B) I've heard this theory that moving out after a brief living arrangement cripples the relationship. | when is it time to move in? |
t3_3fd560 | tifu | TIFU by using my phone at the trolley station | So this actually happened a few days ago. Me and my coworker were both heading to the trolley station from work, I was going south so I waited on one side of the station while my coworker needed to take the trolley north so she waited on the other side. I didn't want to yell across the tracks so I decided to call her on her cellphone to keep talking to her. We both found it hilarious that we were talking to each other on our phones when we were literally staring at each other across the tracks.
Suddenly some guy started getting pissed off and came at me shouting, "you wanna go?" I looked at him confused and answered, "um.... no?" He then proceeded to punch me in the face (lower jaw) and knocked my phone out into the road behind me.
I was still very confused at the situation and didn't really know what to do, so I just went ahead and picked up my phone and looked at him confused. He then ran across the tracks and took the first trolley north. During that time, i walked over to a trolley security guy who didn't see the events that just happened and explained to him the situation.
The damages: he made me bite my lip but that was about it, my lip was bruised on the inner side. It didn't hurt, I was more worried about my teeth more than anything, but at the moment it doesn't feel like my teeth were damaged at all. | Used my phone at the trolley station and got punched in the face. |
t3_f11ds | AskReddit | Should you plan your career and wait for opportunities that align with it, or take great opportunities as they come, even if they're not in the direction you forsaw? | I'm a civil engineer-in-training. I decided a few months ago I was going to try to develop a career in X. Or then, maybe I just wasn't happy where I was at the time. I quit my job, sought out all the opportunities in that area, and some of them look bright...but things are moving very slowly in general right now.
Recently I've been sought out by a local organization. They're public so amazing benefits, very secure, etc. They want me to fill a new position they're putting together because I came very highly recommended by my former employer. The problem? Not civil engineering -- not even close. I've been out of school for a few years now and the longer I'm out of the engineering realm, the harder it is for me to get back into it. Still, it's a very attractive opportunity. The position is largely undefined and part of my role would be to develop it as I see fit.
So then. How does one become successful? Should you map out where you want to go and stick with it? Bypass opportunities that don't align and wait for something to come up so you can gradually take yourself through a steady career development? Or do you take things as they come and hope for the best? | An opportunity came up that will take me in a very different direction than what I studied/planned for. Do I pursue it? |
t3_46omrf | relationships | My [21M] girlfriend [19F] shuts me out when she gets upset, I don't know what to do | My girlfriend and I have met for 4 months and things are mostly good. As with any couples, disagreements and arguments are unavoidable and since I am slightly older, I try my best to be as mature about it as I possibly can. When things cool down, I always apologise first and learn from my mistakes. People has always told me communication is key in relationships, so I've always attempt to talk things out during and after an argument.
However, my girlfriend has a different approach to these things. During an argument, she would get upset very quickly and then shuts me out completely. At which point she would stop communicating with me regardless of what I say. When I beg her to speak to me, she would often say ' there is nothing to say'. Her way of making up is to hug and make out, while not saying a single word. She finds great discomfort when i talk to her about what happened and tries her best to avoid these conversations.
I want us to have a healthy and constructive relationship, where we can communicate, resolve arguments, and learn from our mistakes, thus avoid them in the future. But there is only so much I can do when she flat out refuse to talk to me. I feel like this is ticking time bomb which makes future arguments difficult to resolve. Should I just give her space when this happens? What should I do about it? | my girlfriend refuses to communicate when upset. |
t3_2hbei7 | dating_advice | [F/19] interested in [M/25ish] shop worker, should I go for it? | Background: I'm totally new to all aspects of dating/relationships, but observing other people and listening to Dan Savage makes me feel like I wouldn't be a complete nut job.
Anyway, there is a high end store I sometimes go into, but now I go much more frequently (for browsing purposes, with the eventual intention of buying) because I met this crazy cute/hot guy who works there. He's definitely older, as in graduated college while I dropped out almost a year ago. I've determined that he is most probably straight but I can't tell if he is in any way interested (see: new to this). There have been some nice long chats about travelling and fashion and the amazingness that is men's shoes, so even if he's not interested I'd still like to occasionally chat/be friends outside of a location where I want to spend all of my money.
Should I say anything the next time I go in? Advice on what to say? I've got some stuff planned over the next year that are financial commitments, so this will probably be my last visit for a while. | virgin with crush on older man with really sexy shoes needs advice |
t3_3k4jk6 | relationships | I [23 M] may end it with my great GF [27 F] of 4 years, but I'm unsure if it's because my curiosity & standards are too high/unnecessary. | I started dating her when I was 19. Let me start off by saying that although we've had a few breaks, it's been a happy relationship. She is very supportive and a wonderful girlfriend for the most part, but I'm contemplating ending it out of the curiosity to date other people.
With the exception of a few hookups during brief relationship "breakups", I haven't slept with more than a handful of other people.
That, coupled with the fact that I somewhat regularly find myself thinking that she isn't the "most beautiful girl in the room" (to me) because of her weight/shape/demeanor (i feel so bad for saying that though) really makes me curious about dating and sleeping with other people.
I regularly find myself in situations where i have the ability to sleep with other girls I find really attractive, but I would never want to make that move and cheat while I'm with her. Although, it does makes me feel like I'm missing out on opportunities.
On the other hand, she is honestly incredibly supportive and giving. She really believes in me as an artist and gives me strength. She helps me push my music career forward and always has unbounding love for what I do which is also so valuable to me. So much so that I may have become dependent on it.
This is usually the reason why I come back to her after I separate us.
There have also been people that have told me that she mothers me at times which can make us co-dependent.
I'm not sure what to do Reddit. Perhaps it's childish to keep her around for support and I should instead find that support within myself or other friends. Or maybe it's less smart to drop it with someone who will go the distance with you.
Im just too naive and scared to make a firm decision I think. | Should I focus on being independent and having fun, or invest time in someone that really supports me but Im not terribly crazy about? |
t3_320vxg | relationships | Me [24M] I have a personal problem that seems to ruin good relationships I have. | I just wanted to get this out there cause I haven't really found a solution on how to fix this/ make this feeling go away. Basically I whenever I'm in a relationship I always have a feeling that something is not right or that my SO doesn't actually like me even though they are with me/say they do, or I'm just a stand in until something better comes along or I'm actually boring the other person and it's only a matter of time before I get dumped.
But I really can't justify any of this and lately I have had this weird gut feeling that me and my current GF will break up but there really isn't a reason that would happen. An example I can think of is when we text or talk if the conversation isn't always great and riveting I feel like she isn't having fun and is losing interest in me. This leads me to just thinking about how to make the convo fun which makes me personally feel awkward then just adds to the problem.
Is there any way I can get rid of this anxious feeling? I just don't know why I constantly feel like this and basically it's affecting me and if it keeps up I'm afraid I'll drive my GF away. So you know she hasn't mentioned anything about that and as far as I know she thinks things are going great. I just keep thinking negatively. | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_27kuo7 | relationships | Me [25M] with my ex [25F] (about 1-2mo into dating) Wondering if this is a common concern for women or just insecurity? | My ex (ex for different reasons) knew that I had condoms in my drawer from before we were together. I haven't had sex in over a year before her, and those were just there because I had forgotten about them - there were about 3-4. She said she didn't like seeing them there because they were "intended for someone else". Is this a way girls think? Condoms are condoms, they are not very cheap, and have a pretty long shelf life, so I never felt the need to get rid of them. I don't attribute emotional value to condoms; they're purely utilitarian.
Now, I did say that I would get rid of them because I didn't want her to feel this way. I guess this is where it may have been in the wrong. I said I'd get rid of them, and she said that I didn't have to (because of the above reasons). So I didn't, and forgot about them - not because I deliberately decided to keep them but because I got distracted and forgot about it. A couple weeks later she stays over (we were in LDR) for the weekend. She saw the condoms and said nothing during the weekend. The following Monday morning, I wake up to a text she sent in the middle of the night annoyed at me that I hadn't gotten rid of them, and paranoid that I was sleeping with someone behind her back. She said she knows I wouldn't, but her brain made her think that way.
She later explained to me that it was more because I said I'd get rid of them, and she thought it was a nice gesture, but then I didn't.
I acknowledge that I didn't do what I said, but her reaction (especially texting me in the middle of the night about being paranoid) struck me as really odd. | ex-gf freaked out over condoms that I had before her. |
t3_3yr5dh | personalfinance | Investing as a US citizen living abroad [investing] [taxes] | I am a US citizen and have been living in Thailand for the past 4 years and filing taxes as required, taking advantage of the Foreign Income Exclusion. However, I have always been terrible about saving and investing and this year would really like to improve this. I have a small rainy day fund that I'd first like to grow, and then focus on investing the savings I make throughout the year (about $500/month). The issue I have is that as a US citizen living abroad we are subject to all sorts of insane tax laws that I am very scared of unintentionally ignoring. I know, for example, that [over $10,000 will need to be reported, regardless of the number of accounts they are split between] I also know that if I invest in a foreign market, I risk getting into some sticky situations that have come up as a result of the IRS increasing reporting requirements and taxing policy to close loopholes exploited by wealthy Americans keeping funds offshore, but I don't know what the rules here are. I am domiciled in the state of New York which also worries me, as I know they are not the most tax-friendly. I also don't think I'm making enough to hire someone to help me with this (and would rather actually use that money), if I'm wrong about that please tell me why.
I'm really looking for direction on where to start researching my reporting and compliance requirements given my situation, but have not found anything with my own searching. I'd also be greatly appreciative of any advice from people who currently are investing in a similar situation. | Where do I look for investing/tax advice as an American living abroad? |
t3_rdw75 | self | Best Day of My Life | For the last 10 months I have been woken up to vomit being forced out of my stomach. Felt like a 500lb steel ball was laying on it. Every. Single. Day. For at least 3 hours. For 10 months. I would eat at most 1 meal a day usually at 10:00 at night or later. Constantly exhausted. This caused me to make so many terrible decisions over those 10 months that I will still be digging myself out of the hole I'm in until this time next year. I'd been to doctors and specialists and because they couldn't find out what was wrong they told me it was all in my head. I started seeing a counselor twice a week because I honestly thought I was driving myself to be sick.
Two nights ago my stomach starts to hurt like never before. I dismiss it thinking it's the same crap that happens to me every day. Smoke some weed take some melatonin and lay in bed until I finally fall asleep. Wake up to again the worst stomach pain of my life, vomiting and dry heaving for hours. I smoked an entire gram of dank bud, took 6 melatonin pills and laid down. I couldn't sleep. If I turned on my side I felt like I was about to die.
Told my parents I think I needed to go to the ER but they also dismissed it thinking it was all in my head (had a bunch of stress lately broke up with gf etc) so they thought it was more severe this time because of the added stress. It wasn't. I laid in bed for hours and hours trying to sleep until I finally walk down in tears and beg them to take me. Turns out it was my appendix the whole time. Woke up this morning, went into surgery...can't remember the last time my body has felt this much relief. Words cannot describe how relieved I am to have this sorted out finally. It quite literally ruined my life. Now I can't wait to get it back on track. | Woke up every day for 10 months with severe stomach pain and vomiting. Doctors were too stupid to figure it what it was so they made me believe I had psychological issues to work out. Turned out to be my appendix. Got it removed and I'm okay again. |
t3_flc99 | AskReddit | Reddit, Should I lower my standards? | ** Sorry, this belongs in /r/Relationships **
This isn't another "Forever Alone" post.
After reading a ton of these types of posts/comments, I'm seeing a pattern. It looks like almost everyone just wants people out of their league and no one goes for the reasonable. I know it's the same in my case.
I've always been VERY picky. It's hard to describe my 'type' but I can usually tell within minutes if there is a chance. Looks are very important to me, as they cause physical attraction and obviously that is required. I'm pretty sure I'm shooting out of my league a lot of the time; however, I don't know if I should (or even could) lower my standards.
Has anyone tried and been sucessful and still happy with 'settling'? I don't mean just go out and find a random chick you have no interest in and force it, but just a way to be less shallow and less picky. I'm not an ugly guy and I can get attractive girls, but it seems like I'm getting even pickier with age. I'm not really that worried about it, since marriage isn't something I feel I must have, but I'd hate to miss out on a life changing girl because she wasn't just a slight bit cuter so I didn't say Hi.
If you've done this with success, any pointers? *Besides* alcohol | Should I stick with my high standards until I find a keeper, or up my weight limits and hope for more physical attraction to build based also on personallity? |
t3_4gm0r0 | relationships | My[25M]recent ex-GF [26F] got hot and I'm confused. | I loved my GF of 4 years very much. We dated through college and attempted long distance unsuccessfully for a year before I called it quits. We did not have much in common and the geographic distance made us grow further apart. I miss her and sometimes wish I could get her back even though we aren't good together anymore. What makes it especially hard to move on is her social media updates.
Not to be mean but my ex was not "hot" when we met. She was cute, very smart with a double major in engineering and Japanese and very active in her sorority. She was alway on the heavier side which I loved but she was deeply uncomfortable with. She would always get upset about her looks and her weight and I recall her to be usually a very unhappy person. She was hyper competitive and a perfectionist and was so hard on berself. There was nothing I could do to make her feel better. Around junior year she started getting into fitness and she looked great! She loved the changes and started dieting and working out aggressively. We graduated, I moved away we did long distance. During the year that we were apart, she changed a lot. She started wearing makeup and wearing short skirts and skin tight dresses and heels. She looked great!
When we broke up late last December,her social media exploded with photos of her on a beach looking amazingly tan in a bikini, going out and putting up photos with lots of guys. Not gonna lie, she looks amazing.Better than I remember. I almost don't even recognize the anxious depressed mousy girl I dated and loved.
I know what we had wasn't perfect but I miss her and it doesn't help that she looks so goddamn hot. It's like breaking up with her caused her to be hot. Why didn't she put effort into her looks when we were together? | ex gf [26] got hot after we broke up. Why? |
t3_1hwtkd | legaladvice | Unreasonable speed/special hazards ticket for stopping at the scene of an accident | I was driving down a 55 mph limit mountain road in Upstate New York at 11:00 p.m., going approx. 55 mph. I drove around a left-hand turn and saw red and blue flashing lights coming from a police vehicle approx. 100 feet ahead.
I immediately began to slow down. Within seconds I was coming onto the scene. I saw a three car fender bender on the opposite side of the road and a state police cruiser on my side of the road. A person was standing on the side of the road walking into the middle of the road. He was wearing no safety or reflective vest. I noticed the person walking and continued to slow down, having to stop even faster.
He ran up to my stopped car and asked why I hadn't stopped. I explained that I was coming around the turn and slowed down as soon as I saw the lights and person in the road. He asked me to pull over to the side of the road and issued me a ticket for **"unreasonable speed/special hazards."**
The trooper claimed he could have issued a more severe ticket with 4 points on the license, that had to do with a trooper being in danger. But he issued the Unreasonable speed/special hazards ticket instead.
I have no prior traffic infractions. The ticket says that the "supporting deposition provided when this ticket was issued is 'GENERAL (Gen 101A).'" What does that mean?
Should I plea guilty or not guilty? The town is 2.5 hours from my current residence. Does the fact that the trooper was not wearing a safety vest matter? How many points could this have on my license? | I came around a turn doing the speed limit and came upon an accident and state trooper. I stopped as soon as possible, but received a ticket for 'unreasonable speed/special hazards.' |
t3_1abcwi | relationship_advice | [22/f] Boyfriend [23/m] broke up with me because he felt we were too dependent on each other for happiness. | Long story short, my boyfriend and I lived together for about a year and a half and he recently packed up his stuff and moved out stating that he was unhappy and thought I treated him poorly. After ignoring my attempts to contact him, he finally talked to me after two weeks and retracted his statement saying that he felt like he and I were too dependent on each other for happiness and he needs time to heal and find happiness and fulfillment on his own and that I should do the same. I asked him if he thought that, after a few months apart, he might be ready to start again, and he said "We'll see in a few months." It wasn't a messy break up. I wasn't the type of girlfriend who would try to control him or tell him he couldn't hang out with his friends. No one cheated. We didn't part on bad terms. During our relationship, I never considered the idea of us breaking up because we didn't fight and compromised when necessary. All of our friends were shocked because we had the relationship that gave them "hope."
I guess my question is this: do I just give him his space and hope for the best? Now that he moved out, we don't live in the same city and the likelihood of us running into each other is pretty minimal. I'm afraid to call/text him and tell him about my day or anything else because I don't want to be overbearing.
Additional detail: He lost his job about a month before we broke up. He didn't get fired, just his contract ended. In the time since he job ended, he spent all of his time working on his portfolio in effort to find a new job. A lot of time alone. I'm worried that there's something going on with him that I can't help him with, or I can but he wouldn't/won't let me, and that may have been the deciding factor in him ending the relationship. | boyfriend broke up with me to find happiness and fulfillment on his own and I don't know what to do. |
t3_3wu8an | tifu | TIFU by causing a divorce. | I work for a family and divorce lawyer as a secretary, and one of my daily jobs is to call back leads that were emailed to us through a website that connects folks to attorneys. If a client doesn't answer, we leave a voice mail to the extent of "Hi, this is DrawerFullOfDicks with the Law Office of Lawyerly Lawyer, returning a message from an email we received. You may reach us back between the hours of 10 am and 6 pm at (555)DIV-ORCE." I called a few on the list, leaving our message.
About 20 minutes after I finished making calls, the phone rang with one of the numbers I recently called showing on the caller ID. I answered using our greeting, and heard an angry wife on the other end. "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS???" Her voice was very shrill, and as I calmly tried to tell her the name of our office and attorney and what we specialize in, she began yelling "He is going to divorce ME? THAT UGLY DUMB [insert angry wife obscenities here]. I will take that fat son of a bitch for everything he's worth! I'm calling MY lawyer!" and slammed the phone down. Keep in mind, I never got to say who I was actually calling for.
Now, this is not an uncommon occurrence here (spouses flying off the handle about their divorces) so I hung up and continued working. About an hour later a number called in that was 1 digit off from the first I called. It was a polite caller, stating he sent us an email the night before and was expecting a call back but never received one, he wanted to see if we could help facilitate his divorce.
I then realized what happened: I called the wrong number and left a voice mail from a divorce attorney, the woman on the other end assumed her husband was divorcing her, so she decided to go on and start that process herself (or at least that's what her yelling indicated).
Still waiting to hear from her husband... | I left a voice mail from a divorce attorney on the wrong person's voice mail, his wife heard, decided she would start that process from her end preemptively. |
t3_195fjb | relationship_advice | [18/f] What is the best way to end things with my [19/m] boyfriend? | Some background info on our relationship: We have been dating a year and a half and things were not so bad for most of it. In September, I moved to a city 2 hours away for college and he stayed behind. He visits me or I visit him every second weekend. While away at college, I feel I have grown up, matured, and found myself, and he still acts like he is in high school (including all the high school drama and bullshit). The last time I went to visit him I just felt so turned off by him and actually tried to avoid him for most of it and realized its time for me to end it because he is holding me back from reaching my full potential.
I am going to visit him again in two weeks. However, he is currently dealing with some serious family issues, and already has been diagnosed with depression, and I feel like breaking up with him right now would send him spiralling into some crazy emotional mess. I don't want to hurt him, and I would really like it if we could be somewhat friends, or at least end on good terms. Should I do it when I go visit him? Or wait until he's feeling better and do it over text? I don't want to drag this out any longer than necessary, I just want this to be as easy and smooth as possible. | I want to end my long term, long distance relationship with my boyfriend who is currently under a large deal of stress. I'm going to visit him in 2 weeks and am wondering if I should do it while there and risk sending him into severe depression (possibly to the point where he could commit suicide), or wait a bit longer and just do it over text. I'm open to other suggestions. |
t3_305ulu | relationships | Trying to stop my [20 M] eyes from wandering, as I am desperately in love with my [20 F] SO | Hi all. This is a throwaway for privacy reasons, but I am looking for some advice, here.
I am desperately in love with my SO of about two years, but have been struggling with a few things during the duration of our relationship: porn addiction, sex chat rooms, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, and wandering eyes. While I have pretty successfully carved the first four out of existence, the last one troubles me, even if it has gotten me into the least amount of trouble.
The thing is this: I love my SO. Hell, if we were both older, I would ask her to marry me; she is beautiful and cute and sexy all at the same time, and we both indulge each others' kinks--despite all that, I have found myself looking at other women and asking, "what if?" For a time, former lovers or almost-lovers contacted me with tantalising opportunities or even just dirty talk, and it was hard to resist, but the moment I see my SO, she is the only one in my mind in any regard.
It's like when I'm alone, sex is all that matters, and I need to have as much of it with as many women (often, uglier ones than my SO) as possible, but the moment I think of my SO, I become a romantic. While I have never explicitly betrayed my SO by hooking up with any of these ladies, the fact that I have these urges is itself extremely troubling, since all I ever hear of relationships like mine is that people become "SO-sexual", and seem to find no one else worthy of sexual attraction or desire, so I feel like I am doing something wrong.
So, /r/relationships, how does one go about reducing or removing these desires or urges? | Romantic is a sex fiend when alone; how to remove the latter while preserving the former? |
t3_5347ll | relationships | Me [34 M] with my wife of 5 years[34 F] . Im thinking of contacting two of my exes. | Right,I feel weird even talking about this but here goes. I was never one to sleep around and had just two long term relationships before my wife. I would like to make it clear that I love my wife dearly. Lately I have been thinking about contacting my two exes. For different reasons. My first ex was my first gf and first woman I slept with. It being my first I was an utter fool and things ended badly. We were in contact a few years ago but drifted again. She wasn't in a very happy place (but she had gotten married). She initiated contact then. Maybe its guilt, but I kinda want to contact her just to see how she is doing. Is this weird? My other ex. Well she is a different kettle of fish. We ended because she lost interest in me and I caught her sexting with internet guys. But that didnt totally end us. One day we agreed to part company and I didn't see or hear from her since. It was a sort of amicable break up but we never talked about it. Maybe I just want to go through it with her? Get some closure? I'm not sure. Of the two exes it would be her there would be any lingering attraction to but I'm nto sure why I would mention it. I'm feeling a bit confused. I do know I dont want my wife to find out though. Which worries me. In conclusion Im wondering, is this normal? | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_4sonh3 | relationships | Is it too soon for me (22F) to tell my SO (20M) of 6 months that I love him? | Obviously there is no set time frame of when things like this are supposed to happen, I know that. But I'm just nervous that I'm going to scare him away since I'm his first serious girlfriend. I've already met his parents, I actually am closer with his mom than I am with my own. We've already started the "If we ever get married..." "If we ever move in together..." "If we ever have kids..." talks. He even stays at my place 4-5 days a week.
I've been wanting to say it for about 3 months now. I'm afraid that one of these days I'm going to accidentally blurt it out and freak him out. | Should I wait? Should I just blurt it out? |
t3_35q09t | jobs | [Update] Contract job dismissing me in a month. Can I get unemployment? Do I have get my boss a gift for this party? | Original here.
I work as a contract employee at a corporation. Basically a staffing agency placed me at this location and I work there full time 9-5 like it's a normal job, but I am essentially employed at the staffing agency. Without giving away what I do, I work in advertising. When they hired me, they said it was long-term and intended to keep me on. I saw them post the same job when they hired me and they said it was for an additional position.
Been here a month. I feel like they don't treat me like they treat the other contract worker here. We both came from the same staffing agency. Then when they introduced me to people, they would say I was helping out until they hired someone senior. I freaked out and called my staffing place.
Turns out they JUST told my agent they want someone more senior. I made it very clear in the interview I was a junior employee and just graduated. I think they fucking lied so get me in until they found who they wanted. I feel like it was dirty and sneaky. They led me to believe it was long term.
I moved and just signed a lease! I am so fucking fucked. It will problly be a month until I get canned because they have intense hiring standards, but I am so bummed. And I just checked my state, and it says I have to have 20 weeks to get unemployment. Is that absolute? I live with my bf and don't get help from parents, and my field is very competitive. I have no idea how long it will take me to find a job.
Also, my fellow employees are throwing a "baby" shower for my boss and want people to bring a book as a gift. I don't feel like doing this, and I don't wanna gift someone who is gonna fire me. Protocol here? He is the only one who decides to fire me, and he was the one who led me to believe it was long term. So I am pretty mad at him. | getting canned in about a month, lead me to believe it is long term, very upset, can i get unemployment, coworkers throwing party for boss, don't wanna get gift. |
t3_2e9cr7 | relationships | Me [32M] with my wife[32F], together 14 years, s&^t has hit the fan. | Should mention we also have 3 kids.
My wife has decided to move out. We've been up and down all through our relationship and it has finally come to a head because of sex. I want it, she doesn't. I have a high sex drive and I know I push it too far but it is just so scarce and then there is the matter of our friend who she has openly admitted to being in love with as well, they are in constant (at some times it is daily) contact but nothing physical (he tells me he doesn't find her attractive), making me feel insecure and sex being the only difference I can see between the relationships.
I want this to work, I'm trying my hardest to make it work. I work a full time job and do the bulk of the domestic chores (that get done that is, we don't have a clean house) and it just feels to me like I am a wallet to her.
She has told me that she wants a minimum of 4 weeks to herself before we even talk about us, but she isn't against the idea of us working it out. She is looking for a place and getting a 12 month lease, meaning it will be a year before we are back together, if that is even where we end up.
I'm going insane as we are still living together but completely no physical contact, she seems fine with it, probably helped by anti-depressants.
What are some things I can do to help me through this phase?
What can I do to try and make things better?
Any general advice?
I hope I haven't missed anything, if I have let me know :( | Wife moving out, don't want this to happen, what can I do to help myself through this phase? |
t3_rmjao | AskReddit | My wife has some pretty severe back pain, that has lasted off and on for a few years. I have some ideas to help, does anyone know if these would help? | Like the title says, she has had some sharp and overall lower to mid back aches and pains. This particular occurrence has lasted about a week. She's seen a doctor before, as well as a chiropractor and done massage therapy (though not regularly) before, but it only provides temporary relief. I'm of the opinion that it may help the most to strengthen and stretch her back on her own. Currently, she works out 3-4 times a week, and has lost about 25 lbs since December, but it hasn't really helped with her back issues. Her workouts are primarily spinning (stationary bike), and some weights or a treadmill/elliptical machine.
At home, she spends a lot of time reading, I would say at least 4 hours a day. She usually does this reclining on the couch or in the bed. I think this might be a part of the problem. The suggestion I want to make, is that at least part of the time she spends reading, she does so while sitting on an exercise ball, and focuses on her posture. This should provide good exercise for her back and abs while not exerting too much effort.
In addition to that, doing something like yoga a couple times a week at her gym.
Any thoughts, or other ideas that could help? She did get a massage a couple days ago, which temporarily helped again. The masseuse suggested she get a doctors note so we can use insurance for the massages and a chiropractor (which we'd end up using our HSA). I'm willing to spend the money on it if it will help, but it just hasn't in the past. Just looking for other options. | Wife has bad lower back pain that has affected what she can do with the kids and around the house. Looking for good ways she can relieve that pain. |
t3_lcb7u | AskReddit | Suggestions on a Netbook. | I work a job that has me in my car and out in the field for about ten hours a day filling out forms. I proposed to my boss an idea of using a net book in the field to cut down on hours spent on the computer at home. We use a program that uploads the paper work to the HQ via the internet. I am just looking for one that has a good battery life, can be charged by usb (phone charger) and can run a simple program. I really don't care about screen size or hard drive space seeing as I have a power house desktop at home. Heck, maybe I could justify purchasing a tablet PC as long as it can run the program, which could run on a 10 year old PC. Suggestions?
Also I know I should be posting this some where else, just trying to cover my bases. | netbook of tablet pc? |
t3_1y7sf5 | relationships | Me [17M] slept with best friend [17F](she has a boyfriend) | My little problem is that I [17M] slept with my best friend/crush[17F] and she has a boyfriend[19M]. She likes me the same way that I like her(very much) but she is afraid of hurting her boyfriend by breaking up (don't ask me about logic in that statement..) and she also still loves him too much to let go(I suppose).
I don't feel too good about sleeping with someone that not is single but he treats her like total garbage and due to earlier "problematic events" my opinion about him is: lunatic psycho boyfriend that does not deserve any girl at all.
I should mention that me and she has been more than friends before but float out in the sand.. yet another problem is that I have been together with her best friend[17F] for 14 months but broke up about 3 months ago.
I need some advice what to do, continue seeing her til she breaks up? If we gets together, can I trust her? How about her best friend, is that ok against her?
If you need more info you can just ask
Thank you in advance! | I slept with my best friend wich leads to problems for both of us |
t3_3zsbt0 | loseit | I sometimes drink, so that I can eat pasta. | My wife was like I think we're food addicted. I was like check out the 15. questions at over-eaters anonymous. We both answered yes to all but #12. [Is OA for you] Link for the lazy.
We both also like to enjoy alcoholic beverages...so we checked out the AA question list in case, because ya never know. Didn't answer yes to a single question. When my SO and I get drunk together we love coming home and making a giant delicious meal to, sober up, get our drunk munchy on. I realized that a big part of why I drink is to lower my inhibitions and not feel guilt for making a pound of pasta and splitting it with my SO. | Not alcoholic. Addicted to pasta. |
t3_3hil49 | relationships | My father [65M] just had his Gall Bladder removed. My brother [28M] thinks that someone needs to stay with him 24/7 in the hospital my sister [44F] and I [31M] are unsure. | My dad had open heart surgery early in July. Someone was with him in the hospital the whole time. Now he had to have his Gall Bladder removed. This isn't near as intense a surgery. My brother is staying there everyday and night. It's really starting to tire him out and he wants a break.
I took off work most of Monday to give him a break but he stayed the whole time because he said there was no sense for him to leave if I couldn't stay the night. Now my Dad has asked me to stay the night.
I feel it's unnecessary because he has a team of nurses to help out. I feel guilty because I want to help out but my job is very stressful during the summer months and I feel staying over will effect my work drastically. Am I way off base here? How do I handle this? My brother is getting very frustrated with me and I assume my Dad is as well. | Father/Brother want 24/7 visitors in hospital. Sister/myself unsure. |
t3_qkl5x | AskReddit | Reddit, can you help me find out exactly what kind of scam this "company" is running to potentially save a friend's business? | A good friend of mine works at a dance studio, and recently an obvious sleazy pyramid-scheme type guy shows up and convinces her boss to be in some kind of fundraising event for the Troops. The only information given to her is that the dancers will participate in the fundraiser along with other studios, including singers and cheerleaders, and then at a later date they will all be driven by limousine to Hollywood to participate in a music video with "big stars". Every time I've heard him describe the big stars, he just throws different names around. But he makes sure to emphasize that it's "for the troops".
So we get to the event that took place in Fullerton, CA at a hotel this past Saturday 3/3, and there are other competition studios and singers and what appears to be an upstart pop group headlining. Then he announces that the troop that they were to perform for, had been deployed that very morning. *Convenient?* This leaves the audience consisting only the parents of the performers and the owners of the organizations invited, and they ask for donations at a small table in the back of the room. It was all very awkward and the production was a mess.
I read one of the pamphlets and I notice they are doing this on behalf of their "parent company", something called [PEC Research] I found the website, and it's some strange company trying to upstart an electric car that can drive 50,000 miles on one charge, (apparently around the world twice), and they are constantly trying to fund raise and get performers of all kinds to headline events for them. I can't find anything else past this, and I can't figure out their true intent.
Any help would be appreciated. | Strange scam I can't figure out has a hold of a good friend's dance studio owner's ear and doesn't realize it. |
t3_2fc7zl | offmychest | My last month of unemployment... | ...started when you fired me for no reason, other than I "don't seem to have enough energy for the job." Motherfucker, I've worked as a dishwasher and a busser. I've worked in a call center. I've unloaded aircraft. All of these jobs required a high amount of energy. So when you, the owner, who saw me maybe 30% of the time I was working, pulled me aside to fire me on my third week, and gave that reason, well... I was genuinely bewildered.
I thrive on constructive criticism. If you have a problem with how I do my job, show me a better way. Instead of that, though, you held back any criticism and only told me I was doing well. Same with my coworkers, who by the way, had only been there a few weeks before I was hired. I didn't pick up on that red flag.
Instead of giving me criticism or any review, you pulled them aside for a meeting. I don't know what happened, but later in the day I didn't have a job.
So, after explaining the fact that I had only been there three weeks in an industry I had never been involved in, you said I could go home for the weekend, and you would try to find another spot more suitable. Your greasy hair, tan, and winning smile reminded me of the worst sharks in salesmen's clothing I had seen, and my heart sunk. I called you the Monday after, and you just said you didn't have a place. Great.
On top of it all, I was moving with my fiancée. Who is in school full time, and works two jobs so we can live together. You probably didn't consider the fact that I wouldn't be able to pay any of our bills, let alone my half of our $1000 rent.
This whole thing also drove me closer to a depression like I had ten years ago. You took away my confidence, and it has definitely effected my outlook on life. It has effected my motivation for anything.
You're a lying scumbag who fired someone who was not only energetic, but productive, good-natured, and reliable. Now I'm pretty much none of those things. | I guess I'm better off, but not much. |
t3_3hocmp | relationships | I [18/M] met a girl[19/F], went on a date with said girl, and left completely confused. No idea what to do. | Also, sorry if this isn't the right sub, if it's not, would love advice on where to post. Anyway, I met a girl today, we seemed to connect pretty quick. I met her at her work, and told her about a cool place to grab a bite and asked if she wanted to meet me there after she got off work. So she agrees happily, fast forward a couple hours, we both show up to said place. We were there for maybe an hour but we talked and laughed and seemed to click pretty quick. She seemed very jittery like she was nervous and was constantly blushing and all the little girly signs of affection. We go to leave, and before we say our goodbyes I ask for her number. She just kinda giggles and says no. I was completely dumbfounded as it seemed like she was really into me. So I just think she was joking at first and I was like really? And she was apparently being serious because I didn't get it. I'm ok with being turned down(you can't help who you like, I understand), but should I assume she's playing hard to get and casually ask her again sometime, or did I just misread everything and she's totally not into me? I don't want to bother her again and seem like a stalker but I have genuinely never had this happen. | met a gorgeous girl, had a great time on a date, she ended up rejecting me after the date, now I'm confused. |
t3_g6hae | relationships | Broke someone's heart and wondering if I'm in the wrong | A week ago I broke up with my first girlfriend (17, I'm 18) who I've been with for about a year and a half. Our relationship had its high moments but it seemed to much more full of lows. She was very sweet and loved me, but unfortunately she had numerous self-esteem and jealousy issues which she took out on me. Many times her instabilities led to her breaking up with me for a few hours. Our relationship was very unequal in that I put myself in it as much as I could, but she rarely returned it. I gave up an incredible amount of my time, energy, and love and it really felt like she never showed any appreciation. Her anger and self-esteem took precedence over what love she felt for me.
I could go on for awhile, but there's too much history here to type down. Basically, I fell out of love with her, and broke up with her last thursday. A few weeks before we broke up, I met this girl (18) and we've become a lot better friends recently. A few days ago I ended up kissing her and this morning my ex-girlfriend asked about her and I told the truth. Naturally, my ex is very very upset, and I feel horrible about it. I don't think it was wrong to kiss the girl, but I would really like some feedback as to what others think about it. | I just got out of an unstable relationship, then kissed another girl. Am I an asshole? |
t3_2amvwz | relationships | Is my (26m) friend (24f) using me to get her house done? | I am a pretty hand guy for home improvements, minor mechanics and some carpentry. If some one needs my help, I will say yes 9 times out of 10. My friend (we will call her Z) has been doing some remodeling projects over the past year when she can afford them. So, since I consider her one of my closest friends i agree to help when she needs it.
Well sometimes she stands me up or cancels on our plans. Usually i don't mind since she is a busy single mother (the father left when she refused to get an abortion and has never even met his daughter). Usually I only have a problem when she does it for long periods of time (a few weeks or more) and the only plans she keeps are the ones i am helping her with.
The one that really pissed me off was last week. I made dinner for her, her daughter and myself. Z texted me around the time she was supposed to be here saying she had to run a quick errand. That quick errand turned into 2 hours. So i texted her "nevermind. The food is cold and gross now." Later when she finally gave me an excuse it didn't make sense. I've gone with her on those trips before and it never takes more than 30 minutes. It is a run in and run out kind of situation. She never texted me to tell me she was running later then she thought she would be. And then this weekend she kept saying "we will do this. We will do that." But never actually followed through.
Last night I went to a bar with a couple of friends (Z was supposed to be there but changed her mind) and i was telling them about the dinner. Their advice was "throw that bitch to the curb." Are they right? Is it a lost cause? | My friend will go for long periods of time where the only plans she keeps are when i am helping her. Even caused me to waste time and money cooking a dinner she stood me up on. |
t3_1ukgjw | relationships | Me [19 M] with my "friend" (loose definition right now) [20 F] of 7 years, - We think we should wait before going out. | Ok so basically I've been friends with this girl for just over seven years now. For most of these seven years, I've had a thing for her but the feelings were not mutual. We became best friends.
However over the last several months we have become insanely close, to the point where sometimes I wonder if its healthy. We can spend hours and hours just snuggling and holding each other.
Over the last two weeks, we have been discussing out relationship alot. She admitted to me that she 'fell for me' (her words, not mine haha) at some point during the summer. Obviously I was ecstatic. This was pretty much all I've wanted for a long time.
However, we have both been enjoying being single and having fun. We both think that a relationship like ours has such potential that there is a serious possibility that it will be very long-term. Neither of us are ready for that, and we both feel like we have a lot to experience while young, before maybe taking our relationship to the next level.
Is this the right thing to do? Should we wait, or should we just go for it now?
Also not sure if relevant but while we only kissed once (years and years ago), we have come extremely extremely close recently. | Girl of my dreams finally fell for me, but neither of us feel we are ready yet. Should we wait? |
t3_1siikv | relationships | Me [27 M] with my ex-gf [22 F] 6-year, we have been calling each other. | My ex-girlfriend and I broke up 6 months ago. I called her after a month and wanted to get things straight but she reused because she was talking to another guy she was interested in (she says not, but of course, all girls say that). One month ago I realized they are now official a couple. We have been talking every 2 weeks, either she calls me or I do (most of the times when we are drunk).
Two weeks ago we saw each other and talked for a long time. We talked about our mistakes in our relationship and how we could have done better. Long story short she said she doesn't want to hurt me. I believe because she is confused or whatever.
Four days ago we talked again and decided to see each other. She said she wanted to smoke weed with me so I rented an hotel room and we smoked together. She talked most of the time about quotes of a book she has been reading "Women Who Love Too Much".
We talked about a lot of things and at the end we had sex then she had to leave to a friends house. By 3 AM she sent me SMS messages and I left the next day out of the country for business. I replied that I had a great time, that I missed her, etc..
I don't know if I did good but I asked her if she wanted to go on vacation with me. Asked her to think about and let me know. She replied "I will". That was on Saturday and haven't heard from her since then.
I'm confused about everything. I don't know if she has a boyfriend to get back to me or just playing me. I don't know what to do. | My ex-gf and I just had sex four days ago and she has a boyfriend. I believe she is confused. |
t3_54w80f | relationships | I [20m] am at my breaking point with my [53m and 46m] uncles. | About six months ago I moved in with my late mothers side of the family as my father decided he wanted other things in his life and that now that my mom had passed I wasn't his problem anymore.
Ok fine.
Now I live between a few homes as my uncles are wealthy doctors who travel quite a bit. At their best they are fun and intelligent people. At their worst specifically one of them is a mean and conniving control freak who knows I'm rather brittle right now.
I work and absolutely pull my weight. I am self employed and make my own good money so that I can live with their dog and take care of my grandma full time between two to three homes often alone for weeks at a time while they do what the please.
Generally it's radio silence. But whenever he needs anything he comes calling and when he says jump I say how high. Obviously I make occasional mistakes and I don't always have a perfect memory in the things I do. I am always so polite and cordial and he is always condescending and mean. The other one pretends to be on my side until he can blame everything on me and pretends that he didn't know anything.
I just feel like I'm being used as a punching bag for an insecure 53 year old doctor. I don't know how to stand up for myself to him or the other one. He just immediately demoralizes me and I end up essentially curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor. I'm not here to say I've never done anything wrong or deflect blame. I just need advice and some hugs. | I left home to live with my mothers side of the family. I take care of my grandma and my uncles dog and travel between different houses while working full time for myself. My uncles who are both doctors (one practicing for years the other in residency) treat me like an idiot whenever I make mistakes and always act high and mighty. Going to the point where I can't handle it and I need help standing up for myself. |
t3_rri4v | relationship_advice | Peculiar Situation | Basically, there's this girl I like. We've attended the same school for two years (a high school college dual enrollment program), and I've had a crush on her from the moment we first met (not even joking - she walked over on orientation day and said hello to my best friend, and I fell pretty hard). I even asked her out about a week after we met (in a ridiculously over-the-top and embarrassing manner which I don't want to post even anonymously), and she replied by saying that she didn't want a relationship. Since then, we've been friends, but there's been some obvious tension as I still have a crazy crush on her (which she may or may not even realize). I asked her to prom months ago, and she initially accepted, until about a week later when she realized that maybe I didn't want to just go as friends. In these two months, I've tried to remain civil and just be friends, but it's hard.
Personally, I think we'd be really perfect for each other, and have a ridiculous amount of stuff in common intellectually and emotionally. We get along great as friends, there is never a lull in the conversation, and we have similar senses of humor. She just doesn't want a relationship with ANYONE right now, allegedly because it would get in the way of school. This is even more ironic because until I met her, I had no interest in a relationship of any kind and viewed high-school relationships as pointless and shallow.
Anyway, now it's college season for us high-school seniors, and we've applied to some of the same colleges. We actually had the same top choice and were both accepted, but today I found out that she turned down her acceptance offer. So, what I'm here to ask:
1. Should I still try to pursue a possible future relationship considering everything (if more details are needed just comment and I can add, I just figured this post was getting pretty long)? Should I try and make a move now or wait?
2. Do you think she declined the college offer BECAUSE it was my first choice? It was for a pretty nice school, and as far I know most of the money was covered for both of us. | I like this girl, we fit well together, she doesn't want a relationship and we're probably going to different colleges. What do? |
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